#idk how well this metaphor is working

[doom-dreaming]

muttering "i will not gatekeep or complain, i will just block and move on" like a mantra to myself at least 5 times a day

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

the phantom as a metaphor for depression and/or substance abuse. you've been alone for so long, been unhappy for so long, disconnected from your art for so long. but one day you find something that helps you cope. and, for a while, your art comes back to you, but there's a greater and greater price to pay. and more and more often you find yourself stuck in this terrible, frightening, dark place you can't escape from on your own. and when you first try to explain it to someone else, someone you trust, they initially dismiss you or act like you're just ~crazy~

raoul as a metaphor for recovery. remembering that the world exists beyond that terrible, frightening, dark place you keep finding yourself trapped in. let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears. the nagging memory that love and life and freedom exist, even when the phantom is trying to pull you further and further down into the darkness.

christine, christine, don't think that i don't care, but every hope and every prayer rests with you now

because nothing is more frightening than committing to recovery, but you have to do it. you have to. and nobody else, no matter how much they love you, can do it for you. you are the one who has to face down the phantom.

[waywardsalt]

with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;

a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.

linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.

[cluescorner]

Long Post about Savage Opress because I am Normal

Savage Opress, you are everything.

You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love. You had to participate in a battle royale and subjected yourself to a fate worse than death in order to protect your brother. You were forced to kill the brother you fought so hard to protect, your last words to him as he begged for his life were 'You make (me) weak'.

You are Frankenstein's monster, a kinslayer. You just have to live with that. Your mistress isn't giving you a choice in the matter.

You were placed under the control of a cruel master/mistress twice in the span of like a week. You were forced to betray your master and (under your mistress's orders) you killed two jedi, making you an enemy of the two most powerful entities in the galaxy. You made these enemies against your own will. You were lightning spammed and abused to the point that you were able to break free of your mistress's control.

You are then attacked by these two random jedi you have never met. They seem intent on bringing you in. They stand besides each other and fight to protect each other. You are reminded of how you did the same for your own brother. You killed that brother.

You run to the only home you've ever known, the same home that treated you as lesser-than and transformed you into what you are now. Your home is destroyed, all of your sisters are dead. You are upset by this. They were the cause of your suffering, but they were still kin.

You are told that you have a remaining brother, one who can make you strong enough to protect yourself. You decide to travel across the galaxy to find him. You killed your last brother, you will do anything for this one.

You seem to create trouble everywhere you are now. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you become. You become hatred. You had love once, but everything that you loved is dead. Except for your remaining brother. You do whatever you must to find him.

You find your brother. Your brother is delirious and half-dead, but he is your brother and you found him. You can fix this. Your brother sees you too, or at least he sometimes does. You are a reflection of him, of what he was meant to be. You are strong and powerful. Your brother is not anymore, but he will be soon.

Your mother, the same woman who took you and warped you into a monster (that is what everybody calls you now), fixes your brother. Your brother grabs your face and twists it, painfully examining your every pore. You don't begrudge him this. You have done the same to it. Your face isn't yours, but it is the only face you have.

Your brother screams for vengeance against Kenobi, he must have revenge. You must stand by your brother, he is all that is left. You embark on a quest of vengeance against a man you only briefly met.

You become everything your brother needs you to be. You are his protector, his sword, his second-in-command. You have love again and you will do anything to keep it this time.

Your brother is a terrible person. Your brother will massacre a village for the sake of getting Kenobi's attention. Your living brother is nothing like the one you killed. You aren't sure this is a good thing.

Your brother lures Kenobi to the village and you both capture him. Your mistress shows up and immediately sets about belittling you. You are the monster she and your mother created. You are not her thrall anymore, you can fight her now. You do exactly that.

Your mistress and Kenobi retreat, your brother chooses to bide his time. You will wait with him.

Your brother and you infiltrate a ship, finding a fortune of credits. You are happy with this, you have never seen this much money in your life. Your brother's only fortune is the downfall of Kenobi.

Your brother calls you apprentice, decides that is what your relationship is now. You don't see the need for dominance, you are brothers after all. Your brother disagrees and you will subject yourself to this for your brother's sake. You are a reflection of him, of all his past flaws. You are devoted to those you love and able to feel things other than vindictive glee or hatred. Your brother is not anymore, he might never be again.

You think your brother is incapable of love. You love him all the same.

You and your brother next run into Kenobi with another Jedi Master. You do not know her name nor anything about her. You kill her, goring her with your (far larger than they should be) horns and running her through with your lightsaber. Your master is not forcing your hand this time, you can finally choose to make an enemy of the Jedi. You would have been their enemy either way, but the false choice is comforting regardless.

You and your brother corner Kenobi. You think for a moment that you have gotten the upper-hand, then Kenobi cuts your arm off. Your body leaks green magic. Your mother's magic still holds power over you even after everything. You wish it didn't.

Your brother shoves Kenobi away from you and decides to retreat. You aren't sure if this is a sign of affection towards you or if this is a strategic move. Your brother speaks as if it's the latter. You see no reason to believe otherwise.

You manage to escape, but are left adrift in space. You are freezing and slowly running out of oxygen. Your home was warm and full of breatheable air. You are alone with only a brother who calls you 'apprentice' for company. Your home was filled with brothers who called you by your name or by 'brother'. You are alive. Your home and brothers are dead.

You next wake up in an unfamiliar place. You smash all the equipment around you. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you have become. Your brother informs you that his plans have changed, and now you two will be working with Deathwatch. You have no idea what Deathwatch is or who your brother just made a deal with. You will follow him regardless.

You stand up and hit your head on the lamp above you. You were supposed to be shorter than you are now. Your body is wrong. You look in the mirror and you are not yourself. Your body isn't yours, but it is the only body you have.

Your brother takes over Mandalore. You watch as your brother marches Kenobi into the throne room and prepares to execute the Duchess of this planet.

Kenobi offers sympathy. Kenobi recognizes that your brother never had a choice in joining the dark side. Kenobi had gone to your village and seen what it is like for the nightbrothers. Kenobi, despite everything, is trying to be kind.

You hear your story in Kenobi's words. You never had a choice in any of this. You never stood a chance. Your body isn't yours, your mind has been warped and twisted into serving the goals of another. You only wanted to protect your brother.

Your brother kills the love of Kenobi's life. Your brother has stripped himself and you of any possible chance to take the olive branch Kenobi was extending. You ask if you should kill Kenobi now. You know that stewing in grief and guilt can be a terrible fate. Your brother decides to keep him imprisoned. Your brother is counting on the Kenobi stewing in his grief and guilt. Your brother wants to drag out his suffering for as long as possible.

Your brother is in charge for less than a rotation. Your brother panics and bows before a withered old man, calling him 'master'. Your brother lies and fawns to his master. Your brother's master does not care.

You have never met this man before. You have no reason to fight him. Your brother is terrified of him. Your brother grovels before nobody, but he bows before this man. You don't have to do this.

Your brother needs you. You draw your weapon.

You manage to get a hit in on your brother's master. You are one of very few in the galaxy who can say that. You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love.

You are stabbed in both your hearts. Your efforts to protect your brother, your pain and suffering, your love and affection, you, Savage Opress, you don't matter. You didn't know it, but you were fighting the most powerful being in the galaxy.

You never had a choice. You never stood a chance.

You die thinking you were unworthy of your brother. Your brother never said or did anything to make you think otherwise. You die calling yourself apprentice, that is the relationship your brother wanted. Your brother holds your hand as you die, it is trembling. You aren't sure if it is from grief or hatred. You decide it must be the latter. Your brother is only capable of hatred.

You knew your brother was incapable of love. You loved him all the same.

You don't know that you might have been the only thing your brother cared about besides his vengeance. You don't know that when you are unconcious he calls you by your name, he calls you brother. You don't know that he nearly killed the Death Watch soldiers, but stopped when they threatened you. You couldn't know. Your brother never told you.

You don't know that he uses his grief as fuel for his duel with Sidious. You don't know that he switches his ire away from Kenobi and decides that his former master is a more pressing target of his hatred You don't know that he spends the rest of his days trying to find a new apprentice to fill the hole you left and that it never works. You will never know. You are dead.

You died realizing you were nothing like your brother. You never were. Your body shrinks down, you finally look like yourself again. You can't be happy about this. You can't take relief in the fact that all the magic which ruined your life has been dispelled. You can't feel anything. You are dead.

You are right. You are nothing like Darth Maul. Your brother is motivated by hatred, you are motivated by love. Your brother will die having found peace, you died having found nothing but pain and grief and yet more pain.

You are my favorite magical girl and you have suffered so much more than Jesus.

[deoidesign]

I have a question, but it may be already have been answered in the story (my brain is just not the best with memory).

Since vampirism symbolises for you chronical illness (which, omg, that is a hot take I've never thought off before and love from now on), does Steve count as chronical ill, too, with the whole halfvampire thing going on? So, would his uncontrollable time jumping each month be a symptom of that chronical illness?

not in the story, no worries! Just a possible interpretation and my personal intent when writing.

As a small aside I personally don't like to think of chronic illness as something that people "count" as, so to speak, it's an extremely personal label and incredibly varied between individuals and as with all disability there is never such thing as hard lines or black and white... but I understand why you worded it that way and I understand what you're asking.

So, yes, Steve is also chronically ill within this framework. The entire comic is sort of shaped around this, to be honest! I mean he canonically has some pretty extreme memory issues... He's also canonically homeless (not that this is an illness but I just mean it's something I think most people forget about him when discussing him). And, yes, his condition is uncontrollable and is severely impacting his ability to live the life he wants to live.

He has just been barely coping up to the point we meet him, and has been very desperate which is what led him to creating that list of deviations. He has periods where his body is out of his control, he is unable to form relationships, he hurts others without meaning or wanting to... Yeah. He's metaphorically relating to a lot of things, really.

So, yknow, you're welcome to interpret him as you'd like! for me I relate a lot with my various issues and conditions and thus that's why I've projected on him the way I have, but of course I would understand entirely different interpretations of what is inherently metaphorical.

[muninnhuginn]

feeling so normal about li bing and qiu qingzhi btw

[antennatoheaven]

i was like ''elemental can't be that good. they wouldnt butcher the advertising that badly would they'' but it actually was and they did

[didsomeonesayventus]

lord the way i can write in circles about Alear and the visceral experience of [redacted]

(or, the wordbarf of “I am very unhinged about Alear how dare you assume im normal” ft. copious spoilers for like. chp 21 onward because I need tumblr to know I’ve already said most of this on twitter to some extent)

he finally got to experience love and how he finally started recovering from his trauma and how he was at his desperate, frantic wit’s end probably when he first struck sombron down how he probably felt cornered and would rather risk his life and everything else to simply be free of his father how he went in without an emblem and all alone and likely not telling Lumera the full plan probably terrified if he would come out alive 1v1-ing sombron with nothing but fuck it he would rather fight for a chance to live in peace than wait for his dad to find out how “defective” he is and dispose of him like so many siblings and lumera was probably going to stop him because it’s crazy it’s stupid it’s risky it’s not worth it she loves him and promises one day it will end don’t be rash and please hold on but!!!!!! god damn does someone have to try and he is tired of waiting for the chance to get better he cannot fucking take it anymore!!!!! he can’t sit there and wait and worry and be strong he has a sister out there who is at risk every second they carry on their little hidden charade! 

How PAINFUL it is to finally receive kindness and be forced to realize all these scars and all these days spent walking on eggshells is for NOTHING for even what had been kindness before pales in comparison how WOUNDED to realize how damaged you are simply trying to survive and how unfair it all must feel when kindness and love was simply that easy to choose and yet knowing your father would never, EVER be kind.

and contrary to having a gentle and honorable nature that only carried out sombron’s will to survive, coerced into such violence and desolation, the nature that is stilted and a thoughtless machine so he, too, does not join the ranks of failure, the nature that the hero king himself recalls as “You were kind, as you are now.”, despite that gentle, gentle core that somehow survived he has such malice for his father there is no mercy there is no kindness dare I say he- with only a little conflict and concern -relishes the opportunity to personally do his father in because after years of abuse and trauma there is finally catharsis and it pours from him like he is finally vomiting and coughing up the vile dregs of the poison in his system

finally hope that is so disgustingly blinding right in front of him and how he was SO CLOSE he was SO CLOSE to walking away from this he was sick and giddy and the thought that he was going to get away and be free and live happily with his mother and go find veyle and be SAFE and HAPPY FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE and then ITS JUST. TAKEN. IN A SINGLE MOMENT.

how even saying himself the war is over and they don’t have to worry still accepting that he’s a Fell Dragon this is just WHAT HAPPENS as if he is not sitting there dying, struggling to breathe, having just ended a war that nearly wiped out the Divine Dragons, no doubt caused terror across the land, HAVING DONE A GENUINELY OBJECTIVELY GOOD THING THAT HE HIMSELF RECOGNIZED and still saying that Fell Dragons die in the end. how he is no better than the father laying only feet away who treated his children like tools and only spoke his name once when he was born. Lumera says he’ll just sleep and he’ll wake up and it will be fine and how he so subtly doubts that and still speaks as if this is his last chance, simply speculating how, if he does wake up, he wants to be like her AS IF HE ISN’T ALREADY FOR. YOU KNOW. ENDING THE WAR AND SLAYING THE PROBLEM DRAGON.

the way i pull at my hair and scream at the top of my lungs over how AWFUL alear had it and how VINDICATING it is to see him grow and love and rage and scream and cry and find his own way anD KILL HIS OWN SHITTY DAD WITH A LASERBEAM OF LOVE AND ALL THE FRIENDS HE’S MADE AND GETS TO BE DRAGON JESUS HAPPILY EVER AFTER

[grapejuicegay]

Being haunted by a legacy

They want us to be aware of how memories of people can haunt and influence us. It’s why Mes exists. Mes is a ghost in the narrative, haunting only Akk. He serves as a legacy and a ghost and a memory all at once. He has never shown up in the current time and he never will because he doesn’t matter outside of his influence on Akk.

And he exists for a very important reason. To highlight how ghosts can haunt everything you do. Just like Dika, for both Ayan and Chadok.

Dika’s influence on Chadok goes the opposite direction - he is a reminder that Suppalo needs to be worth it. That if Suppalo’s rules and traditions are not worth it, he has given up everything for them.

Part of why I believed Suppalo was a cult was because of the use of terms like “faith”.

We know more about Dika than we do Mes, but for all we know he was haunted by what he had done too. For us, it doesn’t matter. Because outside of what he has left behind, he doesn’t matter. But for Chadok, it does matter. Because what he left behind is what haunts him.

‘Have faith in Suppalo’s rules’ is not just a reminder from him to Akk, it’s a reminder to himself (for all we know, it’s the same of Mes).

The only reason Dika matters outside of this is because someone else was left behind too. Ayan, who believes in the true meaning - in knowing the truth, in finding answers.

And Ayan is haunted by the truth he has found. The truth that his beliefs need to change

That his uncle is not the person he thought he was - that he was in love with Chadok, a person Ayan hates for so many reasons.

They’re all also haunted by the literal death of their legacies.

Thua killed Chadok’s legacy by exposing him as the originator of the curse. He can no longer uphold Suppalo, not the way he wants to, not when everyone knows this.

Akk is dealing with the death of his belief in Suppalo.

Ayan is not only haunted by the death of the image he had of Dika, but the fact that he can never be like him. He wanted to be like his uncle, so understanding, a comfort, but he knows where being like Dika leads.

They’re all haunted - by memories of people no longer here, by legacies they can’t live up to, by beliefs they have to let go of. Dika and Mes exist to highlight that.

[mifhortunach]

not 2 be like this also; but is there smth to be said about (in BARRY), the desert being this place of like death/being trapped/etc, and then cristobal&hank essentially deciding to import it in?

[poppyseed799]

Brother why are there so many roaches we have had TWO full exterminations and BOTH TIMES the roaches came back. The first time there were less of them for a week (still some) but the second time there was absolutely zero difference in the number of roaches even immediately after the extermination. Like man. What am I supposed to do about this

[snazum]

Working on a little (big) project, finally figured out the storyline I want to go with, that's all I'll say, it's called IYKYK. Literatly thats the project name, it might change but it's quite what it means. but if you don't know? That's okay too! I'm hoping to tell a compelling story anyways. This is probably gonna take a couple years to do though XD

If you are interested this is the playlist I'll be working with. Yes I'm planning on making video visuals for this project (I'd say animating but I'm gonna be using a bunch of different techniques, also animating is hard af and takes a long time and I'm not exactly an animator.) Also you get to learn a little bit of my music taste now XD

[thedreadvampy]

lady paaaaarrrrrtttttssssss

[carolinanadeau]

here is a thought experiment. imagine a very talented American country/pop singer that is only really famous for one album and even so a lot of people still don't actually know her name, and she doesn't get a lot of credit or recognition and maybe she got wrongly dragged in a Pitchfork review by some idiot who clearly didn't listen to the same album as the rest of us. then imagine that practically every time somebody mentions this artist they say "well she's great but she's no Taylor Swift of course" or "she was obviously doing her very best Taylor Swift impression in this song" or starts quoting the nasty Pitchfork review like it's objective fact. maybe they also mention how much they'd love to hear Taylor Swift sing her songs instead, and that this could only be an improvement. maybe some of them think it's clever to literally call her "the poor man's Taylor Swift" and this insult even makes its way onto the TVTropes page about her album. if you are an avid appreciator of this less famous artist you would probably want to stab these people, right? welcome to my world

[deathbyworm]

why is looking back at old-but-in-a-recent-way art SO

like. I looked at something I drew a month ago. I was so harsh on myself at the time. I abandoned it to the never-posting folder, but it's good! it's a fun pose, the outfit is cute, the line art is nicely done! It's a solid piece of work!

I found a video of me singing from like 6 months ago. Originally I was gonna send it to one of my friends that had told me before she enjoyed my singing, but I never did because I didn't feel confident enough in it. But its incredible!! I hadn't sung that song in ages, but I hit the notes! I held a really nice vibrato! It sounds so pretty! I wish I'd recorded my face with it, rather than a black screen, because I'd upload it youtube if I had! I still might upload it! I'm proud of it!

And I was so mean to myself over these! I put so much love into these, and I was so mean to myself! I spent so long focusing on all the worst bits and the bits that could be better, I couldn't even acknowledge that I'd made something SO COOL and it's just. upsetting. I didn't need to feel bad or self-conscious or anything! It was fine! I was fine! I was just overly harsh on myself for no reason!

[kroosluvr]

featherman seeker

as usual da cele notes under cut

had to get some food so thsi si late... i lterally gluedm yself to my chair to finish this LMAOAO

all of the not-dialogue is just straight up lines frm featherman seeker LMAOOO just rearranged

this takes place during 3rd semester (see: infiltration log on wall on 4th page, also their winter clothes strewn around akira's room) after drawing it i was rereading like oh u cld prob see this as like post-third semester but nah i intended it to be such BECAUSE

i rock w the canon that sumire has no clue abt akechi's past and black mask and the mental shutdowns and shido and the engine room she doesnt know hes supposed to be dead, that he sacrificed himself, etc. so ofc shes going thru the game like yayyy featherman yay and her sort of naivete Gets thru to goro. i imagine this is like idk a game he played in childhood bc he was a featherman fan but now revisiting it bc sumire wanted to try it, hes like. damn. this kinda. uh. well thats crazy how things line up. so i think it kinda grates at him but sumi's excitement and like. enjoyment! of it kinda helps him also enjoy it more

SO LIKE He knows he's going to die. He knows thats how grey pigeon's story ends. but he's happy here, and now, with the people he loves, so that makes it All right for now. it's a sad story but it's the good ending.

also i forgor how/where/when goro exactly Actualizes back into existence but can u imagine if he spawned right into the winter wonderland of shibuya square like (head in hands) smth so like. isolating abt it. in a crowd of ppl being excited over christmas and hes like what the hell im supposed to be Dead right now.

also "you are not alone" in the first panels very important..... right under hte panel w goro and sumi side by side :') yea

ryuji and ann holding akira back. YEA.

i really like the 3rd slide. the colors mmmm BUT YEAH so its goro/akira fighting/saving sumire, hanging out at jazz jin, last stand against adam kadmon, then goro holding sumi and akira's hands in the snow, then them smiling :') kinda like a procession of memories, or to-be memories or whatever

ANYWAY this is also like part of my whatever canon divergence where the royal trio section of 3rd sem is just longer for no reason . (aka: the thieves take longer to win over to their side, idk maruki gives u a longer time on the deal, etc etcetc.) just more royal trio time :3

sumibun akimeow and gorodog in 4th img... hidden.... also tennis rackets. ALSO THE LITTLE POLAROIDS Important. and all their clothes! i imagine they stay over at leblanc A Lot. akira prob convinces sojiro to Keep morgana at his house LOL and he handles the business and stuff just so they can have their safe haven while they struggle to try and win the thieves back and infiltrate the palace etc . (I kinda have a comic or something in the works for this)

more abt dialogue choices

"it's tough for a tutorial stage" - this means smth. i didnt think this thru 100% ASKJDHASDKJA but its to do w akechi's life and how everything was so fucking difficult for him as a kid when it shouldnt have been.

"is the second phase giving you trouble" - also smth to do w akechi. (As u can see these are all half baked metaphors) smth to do w his 'second life" aka: third semester being Difficult. because now he has sumire and akira and he doesn't want to leave them, so dying the 2nd time is gonna suck real bad.

i like shuakesumi btw