#idk how you artists do it but i admire you greatly

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 33/34 - end call

[Read on AO3]

Mulder isn’t sure how long he's out for, but he knows it can’t have been more than an hour or two before something wakes him from his dreamless slumber. He blinks a few times at the striped pattern on the ceiling from the street lights shining through the blinds, and suddenly remembers where he is.

The sound he hears is the familiar cry of Madeline, just the beginnings of it, but he knows if it goes unanswered for much longer, she will be harder to console. He gets to his feet, running his hands over his tired face as he crosses from his room into the hall.

He only hesitates a second before pushing open the door to Scully’s room, peeking his head inside. She’s sitting up in bed, looking disoriented and adorable, clearly only having woken up a moment ago as well.

“Stay there,” he says quietly, accidentally startling her with his presence. “I can get her this time, hon.”

He’s not sure where that endearment came from, exactly, but he can blame it on the lack of sleep later if she asks. He makes his way over to the bassinet, peering over the edge at the baby inside.

“Diaper change,” he informs Scully, lifting Maddie out and taking her over to the changing table next to the dresser. By the time he gets her cleaned and changed, Scully is passed out again on her side, her hair fanning out over the pillow with a bit of drool escaping her lips. He chuckles softly, taking Maddie with him as he goes out to the kitchen to prepare some formula for her.

He returns and takes a seat in the rocking chair, moving Scully’s robe aside so he can sit down in it while he feeds the baby. As much as he usually dislikes being kept awake in the middle of the night, this isn’t so bad. Maybe in a few weeks he’ll be tired of it, but for now, it affords him the opportunity to see Scully in a way he doesn’t often get to. And getting to be a father? Just the cherry on top.

Maddie falls asleep again before she can finish the bottle, which means she’ll almost certainly be up in another hour or so wanting more. Resigned to this fact, Mulder lifts his elbow up and places a kiss on her sweet-smelling forehead. Maybe it’s too early to say, but this little creature can do no wrong in his eyes. Even if she keeps them up all night, he’ll never forget what it took to get here. This is what they’d wanted, him and Scully, and all the highs and lows that come with it.

Careful not to jostle her too much, he settles her back down in the bassinet and puts the cap back on the bottle. It’ll need to go in the fridge until the next feeding, probably. He walks over to the door, placing a hand on the door handle.

“Where are you going?” Scully slurs, her eyes half-lidded beneath furrowed eyebrows. She lifts herself onto her left elbow, a movement that—in her semi-conscious state—takes a lot more effort than usual.

Mulder holds up the half-filled bottle of formula and gives it a little shake. “Putting this away,” he answers in a hushed tone.

“Are you coming back?” she asks.

He stares at her, wondering if she’s even aware of what she’s saying, or if she’s just talking in her sleep. 

“I was going to go back to bed, but I can if you want me to,” he answers; Then, after a pause, “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” she breathes, laying back down and adjusting the covers over her shoulders.

His heart pounds in his chest. “Okay,” he says, his voice strained. “I’ll be right back.”

This time when he returns, he opens the door with less hesitation, since theoretically, he has an invitation. He briefly wonders if she’d just wanted him to sit in here and talk or something, but the way she’s pulled back the covers for him clarifies her meaning pretty effectively.

The mattress dips below him as he takes his place on the right side of the bed. He’s not sure she’s even awake anymore, but he reminds himself that she asked for this. It’s not even that unusual these days to share a bed with her, and yet each time, he still feels as nervous as the last.

She hums in appreciation once he gets settled, rolling over to face him.

“I like having you here,” she says sleepily, wrapping her arms around his right arm.

‘What a coincidence,’ he thinks, ‘I like being here.’

It doesn’t matter if they get woken up every couple hours throughout the night—it’s one of the best night's sleep Mulder has ever had. For the first time, he has his family all under one roof. Never mind the roof—they’re all in one room.

When they wake in the morning, Scully’s head is resting on his shoulder, and his hand is tucked snugly around her waist.

He can’t imagine a better place to be.

-.-.-

She leaves Mulder with Maddie in the living room while she puts the laundry away, smiling to herself at the sight of the two of them playing together. Maybe playing is an exaggeration, but Mulder keeps making her kick her legs to the beat of whatever of his CDs is currently playing in the CD player, a game she seems rather indifferent toward. 

She does seem to like being in the bouncy chair, though, even though she hasn’t quite figured out how to reach for the colorful toys dangling above it. It’s only a matter of time before she’ll be shoving anything and everything she can reach into her slobbery mouth, Scully reminds herself. There’s plenty to enjoy about these newborn days, and she vows to make the most of them.

As she’s finishing hanging up one of her work shirts in the closet, her cell phone rings on the nightstand where she’d left it the night before. She hooks the hanger onto the rod and sets the remaining pile of clothes on the bed before picking up the device and checking the caller I.D.

Bill, Jr.

Scully sighs and pushes the door to her bedroom closed, leaving only a small crack in case Mulder needs something. Only then does she feel ready for the conversation that is about to take place.

“Hi, Bill,” she says, feeling dread pool in the pit of her stomach. This was one of the consequences of not telling her family that she’d tried to forget about, initially, but now it had come back to bite her.

“Dana,” he says. “So, I talked to Mom on the phone yesterday.”

Scully sits down on the edge of her bed. It’s either that, or pace around in circles until she wears a hole into the carpet, and she’d really like to not have to replace the carpet in here another time.

“What did she tell you?” she asks, calculating just how upset she needs to be with her mother the next time she sees her.

“Nothing,” he answers. “She couldn’t talk, just said she was very busy and that I should call you.”

Scully suppresses a breath of relief.

“I was actually going to call you today,” she says, which is mostly true. Mulder had been asking her all morning when she’d get around to telling the rest of her family, and she’d promised it would be soon. She knew it was probably making him as anxious as she was. He’s the one who had worried about Bill since the beginning of all this.

“So, what is it?” her brother asks, clearly bracing for some kind of life altering news. “Cancer?” he guesses, muttering the word in hopes of it being wrong.

“No,” she’s quick to assure him. “No, it’s not that. It’s– um…”

How to go about this? She has a couple options here. Which part of the news should she break first?

“Spit it out, Danes,” he says, clearly growing impatient.

“I, um…” 

Good news first, right? Well, not that any of it is bad news, from her perspective, but from Bill’s… 

“I adopted a baby, Bill,” she says, keeping her voice quiet enough that Mulder won’t hear.

“You did what?” he asks, still processing what she’d said. “A baby? Why would you–? Without telling us?”

Scully purses her lips, keeping silent while he comes to terms with this announcement.

“It’s not—” he stammers, searching for the right words. “It’s not like… Emily… right?”

She huffs, despite knowing he means no offense by asking. But somehow, it still hurts to hear the detached way he questions her.

“No, just a regular adoption through an agency,” she says, working hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“By yourself?” he asks, emphasizing the words.

And here’s where things could go south very quickly. 

She’ll just say it. Like ripping off a band-aid. 

“With Mulder.”

It would be better, she thinks, if Bill would just jump straight into yelling at her, but instead she has to sit through at least thirty seconds of complete silence, the tension making her want to snap.

“With Mulder,” he finally repeats, the tone of his voice indiscernible.

Scully’s tongue peeks out and runs over her upper lip, a nervous tic she’s thus far been unable to quell. “Is there a problem with that?” she asks, testing him. Daring him to voice his disdain for the man she’s chosen to spend her life with.

Bill Jr. has never been one to back down from a challenge.

“What, are you trading off taking care of it like some class pet, Dana?”

And there’s the predictable moment where he pushes her over the edge. It was only a matter of time before he said something truly hurtful.

“Her name is Madeline, Bill,” she says forcefully, her voice raising an octave. “And actually, Mulder and I are living together. We’re raising her together, as partners.”

“As partners,” he scoffs. “What, he couldn’t at least make an honest woman out of you? I can’t believe Mom is supporting this—”

“If it matters that much to you, I’ll have you know that Mulder and I are, in fact, married,” she says, taking a tone of superiority that she usually reserves for embarrassing sexist law enforcement officers in Podunk, U.S.A. “But before you come flying across the country raring to fight, we only got married to make the process easier. You don’t have to worry about your poor defenseless sister falling to the whims of some quote-unquote ‘dangerous man.’”

“Dana,” Bill says, frustration and disappointment evident in his voice. “I just don’t understand you. You could have any man you want, someone who would give you a real family. Why would you settle for this– this… arrangement you have with your work partner?”

“Why can’t you just be happy for me, Bill? Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

“Is this what you were hiding at Christmas? Is this why he came along?”

Her deafening silence is all the answer he needs.

“I can’t believe this. My baby sister has a sham marriage…” he groans. “How could you let this happen, Dana? What are you going to do when he runs off to go search for aliens and leaves you?”

“Mulder has been the best father a kid could ask for,” Scully speaks angrily into the phone. It’s one thing for Bill to insult her, but the things he’s saying about Mulder are unacceptable.

“I hope that’s true,” he spits. “I hope for your sake, Dana, that you’re right. But I’m telling you right now, I don’t have much confidence in the guy. How can someone like that, with his head constantly in the clouds yelling that the sky is falling, ever be the father he needs to be? I just don’t see it. Why couldn’t you just find someone who loves you and settle down the normal way? Why?”

Scully’s pounding heart shatters, spilling all over the floor in tiny pieces and knocking the wind out of her.

“He does love me,” she gasps through tears, hoping that if she says it with enough conviction, it might be true. “He does.”

She’s not sure who she’s trying to convince now, her brother, or herself. Either way, it’s clear he detects the uncertainty in her voice, that nagging bit of doubt she can’t seem to shake. She imagines on his face the smug look of a slimy defense lawyer about to rest his case, knowing that he’s about to let a guilty man go free. Her stomach twists sickly.

“You sure about that?” Bill asks.

A gentle tap on her shoulder startles her out of her near panic attack, and she looks up to see Mulder standing there, an unreadable expression on his face. How long he’s been listening, she doesn’t know, but with tear-filled eyes, she feels vulnerable and hurt and just wants it to stop. He holds his hand out for the phone, and she releases it from her iron grip, handing it to him without a word.

His thumb immediately finds the end call button, and he tosses it on her bed without a second glance.

Crouching down to her level, he holds her gently in place by placing his hands on her arms, locking his eyes with hers with an intensity she’s rarely ever seen.

“I do love you,” he says, his voice low and sincere. “Don’t listen to him. I love you.”

His thumb brushes soothingly over the smooth underside of her elbow, and she finds she can’t look away. She’s too overwhelmed now to contain her tears, and she doesn’t have the strength to do so even if she tried. They spill forth like a river, and she holds fast to his words, afraid that if she lets go, she’ll be pulled under by the current.

“You do?” she asks, trembling under his grip as she searches his eyes for the truth.

He nods simply, his brows furrowed in worry at the state of her.

Desperately, and without a second thought, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him tightly. The position can’t be good for his knees, but he responds in kind, encircling her waist in the security of his arms.

“I love you too,” she gasps, hardly able to get the words out through the tightness constricting her throat, but she has to. He needs to know what she should have told him long ago.

His shoulders drop in relief, and she feels him bury his face in her neck and clutch her tighter, his hand moving up her back to entangle with the hair at the base of her neck.

“You’ve given me everything,” he murmurs into her skin, his voice breaking with honesty. “This family, Scully… I’ve wanted this with you for so long.”

She lets out a sob, grabbing at his shirt for purchase and refusing to let go. His Adam’s apple bobs against her shoulder, and she knows him well enough by now to know that he, too, is overcome with emotion. 

He pulls back suddenly and his eyes meet hers, watery and clear, a direct window into the depths of his soul. For the first time, everything he feels is laid bare at her feet, and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he loves her. Every bit of her, just as she does him. And for the first time, she allows herself to believe it. 

Under the weight of his undisguised adoration, she almost forgets how to breathe.

She has just enough time to draw one last shaky breath before he surges forward and kisses her, covering her mouth with his like a desperate man that has been dying of thirst in the desert. His lips are salty with tears—either hers or his, she can’t tell, but what’s the difference? He drops his knees to the ground, allowing him a little extra height and better stability so he doesn’t have to rely on her for balance quite as much. 

They cling desperately to each other, here in this small bedroom in their apartment in Georgetown, and she realizes all at once that she has everything she could possibly want. His hand cups her cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly against her jaw as his lips move firmly and smoothly over hers.

This is it, the thing she’s scarcely allowed herself to hope for. Mulder—all of him. As a friend. As a partner. As a husband. Now, a lover. 

Her family.

“Your brother’s an idiot,” he says into her mouth, startling a huff of a laugh out of her before he devotes himself entirely to the kiss, giving his utmost care and attention to the fullness of her bottom lip.

She smiles and pulls back just long enough to look at him, his shining, tear-filled eyes and radiant grin making her stomach do somersaults.

“Shut up, Mulder,” she says, cupping his face between her hands.

His fingers brush her tears away, leaving only happiness in their wake.

And she kisses him again.

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

~~~

AHHH that's the end (except the epilogue) 🥲 I can hardly believe it. I'll have a longer author's note tomorrow with the last chapter, but for now, here's a drawing I spent WAY too long on (not an artist, but I tried)

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @calimanc @captainsolocide @clo-thespin @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @gillian-anderson-in-the-tardis @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @msrafterdark @numinousmysteries @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear

[slickchickchocolatier]

HHP - Chapter 19 MDNI 18+

Heyo! So this is not at all proofread, idk why my word doc would not pull up so i literally just typed this entire thing inside the post box as i was answering asks and responding to comments. so if you see mistakes, you know what to do. So believe it or not, this is part of the storyline that i had developed a long time ago, just waited until the right time to post it, and now the time has finally come. it's about to get interesting yall, but i promise, it will all be great. ;)

Warnings: smut....dry humping, theres some.....idk what it would be called but lets just say heethan and you get rather artistic in this chapter (you'll see what i mean) and of course lots of posessive, obsessive, aggressively protective behaviors from our man heethan, there is mentions of murder, deaths, torture, and serial killings.

"Its still so gloomy out today." you remarked as you traced the rain drops that slid down on the window, watching from your perched position on Heeseung's bed.

"I know pretty girl, we can go fishing when the weather gets better. i promise." Heeseung remarks as he takes a moment to relax back in his chair after hearing your disdain for the weather, crossing his arms as he leans back and breaks away from his work on the laptop, admiring your melancholy poise.

"How pretty.....even when she's unhappy...."

Feeling drowsy from the dampened mood of the weather, you lay down in a slight fetal position on the bed, playing with a piece of your hair as you twirled your fingers around the slight bit of the wave that was ingrained in the structure of each strand.

Smirking as he admired the way you laid, he rolls the chair closer towards the bed and reaches up over the corner of the desk. Propping his elbow on the surface, he takes a separate piece of your hair and brings it up to admire it as his chin rests in his palm.

Rubbing the strands together, you felt the levitation of the piece he grabbed onto and laid motionless as he took a moment or two to shift the the silky fibers together between his thumb, index, and middle finger.

"So pretty......amazing....right down to the very last inch and strand of her...."

Sighing, you end up drifting off to a light sleep as he kept his gaze on your hair, before transitioning down to your sleeping face and your resting body.

"So damn beautiful......and all mine.....forever."

Getting up, he quietly pushes the chair back as he walks over to the edge of the bed, and sits down beside you. Leaning in, he closes the distance greatly as he leaves just a few inches between your faces. Admiring in close view, he takes note of every bit of freckle, skin texture, lash hair, and the contours of each feature on your face.

"Almost as if she was made just for me. She makes me so happy....just having her all to myself.....its blissful.......I want it that way forever.....y/n be mine and only mine....okay? pretty baby...you'll always be safe next to me.....only with me. Let's go far away from here.....away from the world.....lets be together, just you and me."

.........

You woke up an hour later, greeted by Heeseung as he finished up his work. The two of you discussed options for dinner, considering it was still raining outside, you both opted to stay in and order take out.

" You want Chinese or pizza?" he asks while he admits a prolonged stretch in his chair, wrapping up the last of his paperwork.

"Lets do Chinese." you softly responded back as you take your phone to browse through the menu options.

"Oh, I have alot of text messages..." you spoke aloud, merely noting the amount of unread messages from your group study chat.

"From?" Heeseung didn't move at all from his relaxed and leaned back position, his hands remained atop his head with his fingers interlocking together, resting gently on the surface of his cap, which he kept on. From the way he was seated and leaned back into the chair, his gaze appeared to glare down at you as he displayed a somewhat emotionless countenance, yet his eyes were the only feature that spoke...and it expressed stern concern, distaste, and a rise of disapproval. Though it all flew over your head as you kept your sights on your phone to catch up on the content from the chat.

"The group study. They were talking about something that our study leader mentioned, I guess he's trying to coordinate another session." you remarked as you typed in your responses in the chat.

"Hmm...." he merely hums out as he continues to remain unmoved and forever staring your way, his eyes displaying heavy and lazy lids.

The lip piercing, which he had gotten recently while you were in class, had surprised you the other day upon you noticing the metal piece that decorated his bottom lip.

.............................

Collecting your materials into your satchel, you head over to the double doors and exit out of the building where your last class for the day was hosted.

There, before you nearly a hundred feet away, you saw his car as usual, with him standing by the passenger door, ready to receive you in his arms and to snuggle you into the front passenger seat, always next to him.

Everything was exactly how it was each and ever single day, yet the closer you got, you saw the glimmer of shine that appeared on his face. Giggling, you looked up underneath the shadow of his cap to look into his eyes as you remarked the new feature.

"Is this what you did today?" you softly stated as you lightly tapped on his bottom lip, next to the ring.

Chuckling, he faintly bit down on his lip as he shyly smiled and tilted his face downward before looking back up, rolling the flesh out from underneath the top row of teeth. "Yeeeeeah." he answers deeply.

"Cute. I like it." you winked as you gave a seemingly sultry smile, although it wasn't your intention, yet he always saw it that way, and as always, it drove him crazy in love just as it did the first time he saw you.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. What made you decide to get it?"

"Mmmm..." Smirking in his lips, he rolls his eyes around as he takes a moment of thought and answers. "No particular reason, I guess i just liked the way it looks."

You both chuckled as he places his hands on your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. The sensation of the metal gently pressing on to your own skin was something that didn't take long for you to get used, not with the way Heeseung and Ethan always kissed you.

"What about you princess? Hmm?....Any thoughts on getting piercings?"

You slightly raised your brows and reached up to lightly touch your earrings. "Other than the ones I already have? Mmmm....not sure.....maybe later on." you chuckled out.

"You have any idea what you might get when 'later on' comes around?" He softly speaks out, you couldn't help but take note of the way his smirk disappeared as he eyed you head to toe when he made his remark.

"I guess.....I dont know." you giggled. "I'd let you pick."

"Hmm? You'd let me pick? Huh.....mmmkay." He bites down on his lip, leaning his face closer to yours for a kiss. Yet right before your lips touched, he softly finishes his note. "I'll think about it." he gives you a quick kiss on the lips before he added, "but nothing on that beautiful face of yours. It stays as is, I'm keeping that."

Once he said his piece, he leans back in and fully envelops your mouth into an everlasting kiss.

You felt his hand reach up and cup the side of your face as you heard him suddenly shut the car door that he had held open for you.

Once closed, he continues to kiss you while he takes a step or two inward, causing you to step backwards until your back meets the car door. Never stopping, he continues to move in towards you, just until you were fully trapped, with your front side harshly pressed against his chest and groin muscles.

Slightly raising the hem of your skirt, he takes advantage of the vantage point. With you being cradled in between him and the car, and with everyone already gone, the parking lot and campus grounds was deserted with just you two left behind. Snaking both hands under, he slightly reaches under the material, caressing your outer thighs and buttocks.

A slight tap on the back of your thigh by his fingertips was his way in telling you to lift up your legs. He bends at the knees to lower himself just a few inches, allowing for him to loop his arms over and under each thigh, cradling your weight in levitation while resting your backside against the car.

Grinding and motioning his hips in circular motion, he dry thrusts upwards against your core muscles, constantly rubbing up against your barely clothed slit as he repeats it to a rhythmic momentum that caused you to moan aloud, right into his mouth.

Pausing for just a second, he barely breaks contact between the lips as he hazes a half lidded glare to you from his staggering height.

"Scream." was all he breathed out as he admitted small gasps for air, regaining the oxygen lost during the kiss.

Reuniting your lips with his, he bucks his hips upwards, smacking his fully clothed groin against your slit harshly and roughly, causing your body to jolt upwards in a vicious manner. It was so hard, the clip holding pieces of your hair falls loose, yet he never allows you to break free from the kiss.

Speaking in between the kisses he was devouring you with, he spoke with gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, displaying an aggressive and overly heated manner of affection.

"Yeah? You mine? You mine pretty baby?"

"Ugh....uh huh...."

Reaching up with one hand, he gently grips your neck as his thrusts maintained momentum. "Lets see if someone's gonna come save you from Heeeeeeeeeseuuuuung baby. Fucking scream."

Your body violently bumps up repeatedly from the assaulting thrusts he kept up with, causing your body to go numb and limp. You moaned and whimpered out his name, yet the moment he locked your lips with his, he went faster, harder, and sharper than before, it was right then and there, you found yourself screaming into his mouth, just like he wanted you to.

Clearing his throat upon seeing that you were invested in the group study chat, he rolls up to your legs as they lay hanging off the edge of the bed. Dialing the number on his phone, he reaches over and brushes his fingertips along the shin of your leg.

"Do you know what you want, sexy eyes?"

You chuckled at the new pet name. "Sexy eyes?" you giggled. He kept his gaze on his phone, but never failed to softly scoff a slight toothy side grin, all the while still brushing his fingers against your leg.

"Heh...yeah."

"A new pet name?"

He nods.

"Because your eyes are sexy as fuck and I love them. You know this." he remarks softly, still gazing at his phone.

You chuckled back and read off your order.

After dinner, you both enjoyed an evening of intimacy as you watched a new show and embraced one another, taking each other every other twenty minutes in a passionate kiss, intensely twirling your tongues, rubbing canines, and grinding your bodies together.

With him hovering over atop of you, your bodies were close....so close that the pressure and friction was dense with breathless desire as he reached for your breasts and slipped his hand under your shirt, cupping you while brushing his thumb over your nipple.

You gasped into his mouth, causing his grip to grow tighter, the sense of intense pressure took over in your chest.

Breaking from the kiss just momentarily, you saw his Ethan face emerge. Kissing the tip of your nose, he gazes into your eyes deeply as he rotates his groin against you, dry humping you into the bed as your body digs deeper against his movements.

"Yeah?" he breathes out as he hears your jagged and pleading moans. "You like being owned by Heeeeeeeeseuuuuuuung?" he added. You were too indebted to the feeling of passion and euphoria to catch how Ethan referred to himself as Heeseung instead of his own name. Yet, it wasn't until he started to undress you that he reflected his Ethan name as per usual.

"Come to me baby. Come to Ethan." he softly whispers out as he digs his groin into you, while you both lay in the nude.

Throughout the night, you both barely slept as Ethan took you over and over again, alternating between filling you up with his cum or spraying you with it as finished atop various regions of your body. The last session, he finished on your stomach, releasing on your belly button and the smooth surface of your skin. Once he experienced full release, he used the tip of his member to trace his essence all around your chest and breasts. Scooping up a bit of his ejaculation, he coats his shaft before re-inserting it inside you, and repeating, fucking some of his cum into your walls as he rests his thumb inside your mouth, coating your tongue with the same spew of seeds that he was filling you with.

"Take it every way you can baby, you're mine."

.......................

The next evening, the weather had turned out much better and clearer, so you both opted to go see a movie.

Once you had found your seats in the theater, you couldn't help but notice that a strange man who had been staring at you at the concession stand had found his way to seat a few rows behind you. While you took off your light jacket, and turned to place it over the head of your seat, you noticed the man appeared closer, moving down to be seated closer to yours. It shocked you and gave you an uneasy feeling, yet you weren't awfully worried considering you were with Heeseung, who unbeknownst to you, had noticed the man gawking over you way before you had taken notice.

After the movie finished, you both took your exit and started to walk back to the car. The number of parking spaces was limited, so Heeseung was forced to park at the very back, farthest away from the building. Cradling our waist with his arm, he leads you away.

You started to make your remarks about the movie, speaking of your favorite parts and how well you thought it had been put together. After a minute or two, you stopped talking when you noticed Heeseung's serious demeanor as he slowed his walk......all the way to a stop, pulling you up against his side, yet he remained facing forward. The cap hovered over his eyes as usual, yet the tilting of his chin caused it to hide away his beautiful black peepers, causing him to inherit that sinister look of his Ethan side. Suddenly, he finally spoke out in a dangerously low tone, directed towards someone that was within the vicinity of your presence, yet you had no idea.

"Are you just going to follow us? Or did you want to do things here?" Heeseung spoke out.

A confused look grew on your face, yet a slight tug at your waistline from his grip gestured for you to be silent the moment you had began to gasp out your words.

"I don't know who you are, but I know what you want. Just so you know, she's always by my side, so if you're thinking about following us....in hopes that I'll be dropping her off at a dorm.....I promise you....not only are you wrong....but I'd have you cut up before we reach my car." Raising his chin slightly, Ethan's sinister gaze revealed his traditional dark and sadistic smile.

The minor blood trail that fell from the outer corner of his mouth was from the harsh bite of his lower lip, something he did often when growing enraged or too excited. His toothy grin was stained with the blood as he slurped the blood ridden saliva, hissing between his teeth.

"You know......I wouldn't be opposed......to carving your eyes out.....or twisting your limbs off.......I killed before and I'll do it again.....because nothing takes her away.....or even thinks about it......so unless you feel like bleeding out tonight....." Ethan continued, speaking out into the open air, remaining stagnant with his gaze that stared off into the wide open sky. "I suggest......you take a good look at my face before you make your decision......" turning his face to reveal his side profile, he eyeballs a narrowed area from behind.

It was a few seconds after Ethan finished his remark, when you suddenly heard the bustling and brushing from the bushes.

It was that strange man from inside the theater.

With the brown jacket and his rather robust and yet tall frame, he scurried away from the foliage he took cover in, and ran off into the distance, away from you and Ethan.

Ethan didn't turn nor did he bother to look over to the man, instead, he turned his face forward. Once the foot steps faded out, signifying the man was far and gone away, Ethan pulled out his phone and searched for something on Google.

"What are you doing?......Ethan?" you inquired softly. He didn't answer, instead, he kept looking at his phone, typing in something and reading what appeared to be an article, from what you could see, which wasn't much considering he held his phone at an angle and closer to his face, away from your sight....almost as if he didn't want you to see it......

"Top articles...

Breaking news! Police discover yet another body of 22-year old local college female student.

Investigators and detectives are hard at work, committing every effort to tracking down and finding the man who is responsible for the growing number of disappearances and murders of local college students, whose bodies are found just days after they are reported missing. Bodies are found with evidence of torture and are mutilated beyond recognition, causing a delay for autopsy reports as pathologists are finding it difficult to configure what the exact cause of death was. Police have exposed that the through dental records, they were able to identify the deceased. It is encouraged for all women between the ages of 18 to 28 years of age, to take great precautionary measures when traveling alone, and to remain self aware and report any suspicious activities to local authorities, especially if these women are attending college, as most of the killer's victims were attending *your college name* university. The killer has been said to be seen at local malls, stalking campus grounds, and theaters. Police believe the man will spot, stalk and track his victims for days before kidnapping them. It is also been reported that the killer is a man between the ages of 40-50 years of age, with a hefty weight and stands at a height of 6'2. He is also said to dawn a brown camping jacket."

.....................

"Ethan?" you once again spoke, hoping to get an answer from him this time.

"What a fucking bother.....all of them.....they all want to take her.....they all want to do terrible things to her.....because she's like nothing they've ever seen before.......without me she would have been dead a long time ago.......why can't they just leave her alone.....why do they always try and test me?.....Dont they know?......Doesn't the whole world know that she is mine?....That she belongs to me.....That I will never let anything happen to her........Yet they always want to fucking come and breach the fires of Hell.......I fucking hate the world.....I hate all of them because of what they're always trying to do to her......how could anyone....want to kill or hurt something so beautiful....so rare.....so precious to me?"

"Babe?"

"Mmhmm?" Ethan remained staring at his phone as he finished his mental thought process.

"Is everything okay? Who was that man?"

"I dont know....but it's okay. He's not going to come around anymore." Tucking his phone in his pocket after reading the article, Ethan finally turns his gaze towards you. Reaching up, he brushes his fingers along your cheek as he commits to his, and Heeseung's, usual trait of tucking a piece of your hair away from your face.

"So pretty........its a gift....but also a curse...."

"W-what?" you raised a brow, confused by his remark.

"Your beauty......it draws the worst people sometimes....like that man....I'm just so glad you're mine....I wont let a thing hurt you."

"O-oh....thank you......." you stuttered, a bit confused still yet the gentle kiss he placed on your forehead reassured you that everything was fine, especially seeing how calm Ethan was now.

"Come on, our date's not over yet." Ethan smirks as he takes you to his car.

..................

He took you on a drive to the same farm land that he, or rather Heeseung, had brought you to after you both shared the morning after your first night together, Terres de Nice. It was just as beautiful at night as it was during the day.

The difference in the change of season was minor, the trees still had leaves but the hydrangeas were without flowers as the climate was breaching towards the cooler temperatures while it was finishing up with whatever remained of the autumn timeline.

He parked in a decent spot that had a beautiful gaze of the pasture with the various farm animals out laying and grazing, despite it being night. The moon was in clear view as well as every single star you could imagine.

With one intimate action leading to another, you both found yourselves in the backseat, with you sitting atop his lap as he rested his hands on your lower back. He flung your blouse and bra off, leaving only your skirt on, yet he made sure to slide your panties off as he straddled you on top of him. His hands gripped you on both sides of your waist, with his thumbs stroking your skin.

It was another night of passion and erotic fulfillment, with you bouncing up and down at a vigorous rate while he groaned and nibbled on our ears, neck, and breasts, taking in large inhales of the scent of your perfume simultaneously. He was like an animal, and he fucked you like one.

.....

"Tell me you like what I do to you...."

"I-I....ugh! I like it!"

"Now tell me you fucking love it."

"I....I love it! Ugh!"

"Keep fucking it baby...keep fucking it......you're doing so good.....you're making me so proud and happy."

......

He increased the speed and added more depth into his entry, causing you to go slightly light headed as you got fucked into oblivion by the strength of your man's vigorous thrusts.

"Oh my God....what is he doing to me?.....I....I can't......he's going to take my breath away....."

And he did. For each thrust he admitted inside you, your moans, gasps, and whimpers were at a default, refraining your oxygen intake as your body grew weak and shaky.

"Awww.....someone's about to cum..." He teasingly remarked as he drags the tip of his nose upwards along your neck, with you gaining height from sitting on his lap, his head remained eye level with your throat, yet that didnt' keep him from always looking up at your face, admiring how fucked out you were looking.

"Just can't stop cumming, can you?" he teases out once more, which propelled him to go even faster and more intense. The beat of your body jolting up and down was one to be greatly jealous of, along with the expression of your face. For the furrowed brows and the slight bit of pain graced on your features were the telling of the most intense pleasure from the man who displayed dominance that you have never experienced before. He was brutal, aggressive, loving, gentle, dominant, and soft. He was everything all into one.

"Are you a good girl? Hmm? Are you MY good girl, pretty baby?"

"Y...y-yes! Ugh! Ethan!"

"Yeah? You're my good girl? What do good girls get? What does the PRETTIEST girl get? Tell me."

"ugh!" you couldn't develop an answer as his relentless thrusts and the impact of his groin and balls slamming into your skin was bringing out the most valued pain and pleasure your body appreciated, causing you to scream.

"Yeeeeeah....good girls get fucked bad dont they?" He leans into your ear and whispers, "dont they?"

"E-Ethan!" you desperately gasped out.

"Yeeeeeeaaaaah.......fucking scream my name....."

His grip was merciless as his strength forcefully guided you to take in each thrust, causing you to tilt your face upward, facing the roof, nearly panting like a rabid dog from the immense sensation building up in your gut.

It was a feeling that became stronger....along with his performance...when you sensed the tension in his voice and demeanor....

"When?......When are you.....going to fucking understand....y/n?" he started, you could tell by the tone and the way each word came out, he said it with gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. "When are you going to fucking realize....that I love you.....that I am insanely in love with you....that I fucking am obsessed....with everything about you....that I think about you....every second of every single day.......and that I'm fucking bad......I'm a very bad man.....I'm a bad man because all I want to do....is to take you away.....and fuck you silly every single day......"

His pace increases. The intensity of his thrusts and his tight hold on you made you feel as if you were going to explode internally, the pleasure was too great.

"E-E-Ethan wait! Ethan! Ugh! Ethan please!" you whimpered uncontrollably, trying to plead with him as you began to suffer from the high tempo of his controlled movements, along with him moving your body the way he wanted you to move. Making you bounce as he lifted, pushed, pulled, and rolled your hips by the harsh grab he locked on to you.

Gritting his teeth once more, he presses them against the skin of your neck, causing his cap to slightly shift upward on his head as the strands of his hair were revealed to be plastered on his forehead from the little bit of sweat his body was producing. His black fitted tee was warm and the musk of his scent was pleasantly stuffy, with the open flannel that remained slightly rolled up on the sleeves, revealing his strong forearms, it was paired nicely with his straight blue jeans. He looked so casual, yet so handsome, but the aggressive tone of his manner in fucking you made him more appealing in both, a frightening and sensual way.

"When are you going to fucking understand?.....How much I fucking love you? How much more obvious can I make it....y/n?.....When are you going to fucking realize that I can't let you go.....that I can't fucking breathe....I can't THINK......SMILE......LAUGH.....AND LIVE.....WITHOUT YOU!" each word he emphasized, he committed to an offset tempo as he lifted you by your hips and slammed you down each time he issued his words, gritting his teeth more as he clenched his jaw, sounding frustrated, angry, and fed up. The slapping noise issued by the skin to skin contact overrides every audio sense inside the car at that very moment as your body jolts out sharp whimpers of painful pleasures as you succumbed to each hard thrust.

You dont know why he was being this way, did it have anything to do with that guy at the theater?

"When are you going to fucking accept......my fucking love......hmm?!.....When y/n?" His thrust goes in deeper, his speed goes faster, and his tip goes farther inside your walls.

"I"m not a fucking good man....I'LL NEVER BE GOOD AGAIN.......it's all your fault.......I'm a bad man...a very very bad man.....I fucking kill for you...I fucking destroy for you......I fucking do everything to protect you.......so fucking take it and stop fighting me....stop playing dumb with me......fucking take what I give and accept everything about me.....you fucking beautiful....BEAUTIFUL GIRL....my fucking girl. You just have to be so fucking pretty don't you? You just have to be SO. FUCKING. DAMN. BEAUTIFUL!"

At this point, he had you screaming as you begged for him to slow down, the pleasure was causing your body to shake violently, and the tears were coming down as you felt it pound you from inside against all your organs.

"Ethan! Oh my God Ethan please! Stop! T-too much! It's too much! Please-please just cum! I-I cant!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FUCKING LOVE YOU! DO WHAT I FUCKING TELL YOU!" with his teeth pinching against your skin, he growls while you screamed, drowning out his harsh groans as you both violently came at the same time. Your entire body trembling, and his hips gyrating, you noted the many instances where your sexual moments with both Heeseung and Ethan were intense, pleasurable, and painful.....yet this was the first where it was too much.....the flow of your euphoria oozes out as it drips down his shaft, accumulating around his base while you tried to catch your breath, amidst the uncontrollable twitching your hands and legs were committing.

He gently slaps his hands against our arms, pinning them to your sides to ease the twitching of your hands as your hips continued to jolt up and down from the over extension of sensitivity and escalated pleasure.

Finally, once you had both became somewhat steady, yet still regaining your breathing as you were taking deep breathes, you raised your chest off of his own and sat yourself slightly upright, gazing down at him as he relaxed his position into the leather seats.

Seeing that his Ethan self remained, yet he displayed a countenance that was still reflecting irritation and some levels of frustration, without the sadistic sense in his expression. He didn't look at you, instead he was peering down at the ground with his face slightly tilted off to the side, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he shifts his eyes around to random areas of the floor mat below the seats.

You don't know what was wrong, but it was eating you up inside after you noted the slight change in his behavior.

"......Ethan?...."

Moving just his eyes, he looks up at you....not only did the look of irritation not disappear....it became more prominent.

He started to answer, despite you not even asking what was wrong, at least not yet. Somehow he felt your concerning question coming, so he appealed to you in the only he could....by telling you and forcing the issue that's been eating up his mind.

"I'm tired.....I'm so fucking tired.....y/n...."

".....Tired....of me?" you genuinely remarked, but you wished you hadn't for the moment he started hissing and snapped his posture up, you knew you misread his statement.

Suddenly gripping your arms once more, he sits up straight and leans his face closer to yours, pushing you back until your shoulder blades reached the end of the center console, and your frame wedged in between the two front seats while he remained hovered above you and in between your legs.

"Why would I be tired of you?! I just said I fucking love you!" He widens his eyes as the look of anger grew on his face. Your breath escalated and admitted fearful gasps as you started to get teary eyed. For the first time, you found yourself truly scared of Heeseung as you witness the true form of his anger.

Seeing the fearful expression and your gasping breathes slowly turning into sobs did soften him up just a bit, catching himself since his intentions were not to make you scared....he just felt like he couldn't get it through to your head.

"I'm not.....tired of you.....I'll never be tired of you....the exact opposite.....I love you.......too much....I love you more than I could love...my family....my friends....my own life......"

It was faint, but he did choke up at his own words, and you witnessed that he too was developing just a slight bit of teary eyes as he continued.

"I'm tired......of all these people.....wanting to hurt you.....first Gabe....then Samuel.....Tiff....Scott......that man.....why can't people just leave you alone?.....Why can't everyone just leave my pretty girl alone?" a look of sadness quickly took over the angry expression as he brushed his fingers along your cheek. Yet still, despite the sudden change in his countenance, there was something off putting about his demeanor and attitude.

"I just.....I want to take you away....that's all I want....I want us to be away from everything else....where I know you'll always be safe.....I can be nice about it.....or I can be forceful.....it all depends on how you want it y/n.....because one way or another....I'm taking you. I rather you be willing though.....so....please say yes.....tell me you'll let me keep you all to myself.....and let me take you away......I graduate in a few months....let me start everything and let me hide you away from this ugly world......."

Your eyes widened, for just as you were starting to get used and rather sympathetic by the saddened expression, it slowly changed once more. This time, a hopeful smile appeared, yet it was far from the usual dashing and pleasant grin that you were used to. This one reeked of desperation, love...too much love....to the point where without him saying it, you could see with your own eyes that it was dangerously.....

'Obsessive.....'

Leaning in closer, your breathing paused, your eyes widened to the point where they began to sting, your lips quivered and your skin developed goosebumps. His voice went deep and sinisterly low....

"Wont you let me......take you away.......and let me love you forever?......y/n?"

You felt strange, despite knowing this whole time of Heeseung and Ethan's obsession with you, their great and terrible love for you, you knew that they left their mark on you and that you were fated to remain with them forever, yet somehow....deep in your heart, you knew something had triggered form him to react and yearn for more. You also knew you couldn't beat him...even if you had wanted to....

"Y-yes.....yes...."

His smile was less hopeful and grew to be more elated and started to turn sinister, as per his usual Ethan fashion.

"Really? Oh my girl....that makes me so happy to hear you say it.....lets go away soon....we'll stay at my family's summer home until our house is finished...just you and me...."

Seeing how happy he was caused you to slightly smile, despite seeing his sinister smile, which you had been used to seeing considering you discovered his Ethan side shortly after you two had started dating.

To others, Ethan's blood dripping and killer smile was terrible and frightening, but to you, it was something that you grew to adore and love just as much when you saw his Heeseung side smile. Because even though he was a monster, Ethan had loved you just the same as Heeseung, and always was there to protect you just as well.

"O-okay....yes...take me away.....take me away Ethan." you gasped a smile as the tears slid down your face. You answered....you were happy that he was happy.....yet you were still terrified.

Hearing you answer, you noted an unusual smirk formulating on his face. It was somewhat devious and teasing. He hummed out a sound as he bit down on his lip once more.

"....W-what is it?" you asked, trying to figure out the meaning behind this new expression, which he kept up as he continued to look at you with a sadistic gaze. "....Ethan....why are you....?"

He answers.....and what he said nearly committed your soul to jolt out of your body.....

"Wrong name....y/n."

Authors note: Ooooooh here we go....this is part of the storyline i had drafted a LOOOONG time ago....and now the time has finally come....wtf is wrong with heethan? ......you're goign to find out. will be working and posting next chapter sometime this week, before the weekend ;)

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv@stvrryhee@yohanabanana@graythecoffeebean@beanglespewpew@jwnghyuns@gogorkkeeieosos@clairecottenheart@yankpopfics@csmicvrse ; @valiantcyclevoid @silcry

[perexcri]

!!!!!!!!!! I’m Excite!!!! This sounds like it’s gonna be so fun to read!! I am probably gonna cry a lot, aren’t I?

Pass on my admiration to cherryisgone for the plot you two have created bc I am loving it so far!!

Sleeping beauty fusion heck yeah !!

your characterization, by the way, never fail to make me so happy bc you’re So good at it.

(Also lmao Murrary!!! Heck yea dude!)

Also also Yelling and yodeling at: “He always talks about bears when he lying.” Michael,,,,,, Love a callback, esp esp a funny one.

MadWheeler argument was v funny.

Am loving the early hints of Byler!!

Thank u for writing 🥰 i look forward to seeing where this fic goes (even tho i know its gonna make me cry☺️). I Hope You’re doing very well!

(Sorry i have a cold and just woke up like ten, fifteen minutes ago so idk if this makes sense dndjcjedj.)

HI VEE oh it was so lovely to see you in my inbox today :]

also yo @cherryisgone see how the people sing your praises? i hope you do

first of all, Vee - why would i ever write something that would make anybody cry? these are baseless accusations

but yes, Cherry had this lovely idea of a sleeping-beauty-esque au, and i thought it was so cool!! there's lots of room for emotional exploration and angst in it, i think. but no crying, okay? i would never

your compliment about the characterization has me 🥺 i am consistently worried about how the characters are coming across, so it always makes me happy to hear i can still write them relatively ok lol. i'm always a little worried one day i'm gonna put out a fic and every reaction i'm gonna get to it is "he would not fucking say that 🤨"

AND THE BEARS THING yeah, you and Cherry have both picked up on this now. idk...i wrote that as a little thing in to hell and back again, and now i just like seeing if i can stick the idea of Mike lying about fighting a bear into my fics whenever i can, just because it makes me laugh. think of it as my little tiny artist's signature on the corner of my canvases lol

Vee, thank you for reading this and for leaving such kind words!! they are greatly appreciated :D i hope you feel better, though!! having a cold is not fun, so i am sending you the warmest of soups to help you out 🍲

thanks again for stopping by, my friend~ :] 💜💜💜

[bluebunnysart]

Someone made fanart for my Mikuteto fanfic (Rain) and I love it so much, I love it sosososososoo much, words aren't enough to convey it www I really wanted to scribble up a doodle in response to this but I need to go to work rn so I guess I must hold it in but I wanted to promo it and gush about it here...... There are no spoilers from looking at this (the biggest spoiler is what you'd expect from a fic named "Rain" lmao so it's fine if you haven't read it) but hmnfkjdf in this essay I will--

Ok *pushes up my art analysis glasses* Much of what I've already wanted to say, I've said to the person directly, stuff about how I never thought Rain would receive fanart lmao (and then it got so much, the most 😭) and I'm so soo thrilled and flattered and excited that it did. Thank you so much to everyone who's been liking my stuff and made me fanart; I've saved all of it and printed it out and treasure it greatly (yes, yours too!!!). It's soo soo cool so I'll always love it. Everything I've received has been amazing and it's not just 'cuz everyone is such a good artist lol but it's because all art is great and deserves to exist even if it isn't "pro quality" (whatever the heck that means). Idk if that waters things down 'cuz that means I love any kind of art just for it existing as opposed to "technical skill" or whatever but I am NOT saying these things because I think any of the art I've received is lacking in those areas at all. All the art is freakin' beautiful and VERY awesome and technically skilled and pro level (yes, yours too!!!!!!) so yeah, enough rambling there. I'm just saying all Negidrill is beautiful and I love seeing it forever. Lately I've been saving more and more art to my phone to admire lol, when in the past I'd just bookmark it (that's why I have 22k+ bookmarks but I digress).

Idk what else to say about this art that I haven't already said but I'll say it here anyway. xD

When I first wrote the scene, I didn't imagine them facing each other and I'm not sure if the artist imagined them facing each other and that's why they drew it, or if the artist drew them facing each other 'cuz that's a GREAT idea and they chose to take it, but them facing each other during this scene is so fun and funny honestly. This scene is pretty GAY and even gives ME slight secondhand embarrassment so the added visual of them facing each other during it is very amusing to me. The Teto in my head is already cringing in embarrassment (affectionate) but I like it lmfao. Good for them lmaooo

The setting is just a bunch of piles of trash everywhere so the artist did a great job representing that! ♥🔥🔥🔥 They did a great job showing how it's possible for Teto and Miku to sit on top of it too! In this AU, Miku and Teto are usually either on top of the trash or on the ground, and sometimes the trash is hard to navigate with lots of stuff sticking out but other times it's more flattened. In my own head I think about how I want to depict the trash piles being their "ground" (I sometimes imagine doing it through having them standing on a metal sheet or something sometimes lol) but as always, this is great! Very good! <3

I didn't ask them this but what the heck is this fhhdskfldsf I guess we will never know...... xD

Anyway, the trash is variable, so when Miku dives off it, the impact on her is very up in the air... She could either luck out and not hit anything too bad or she could experience the opposite of luck and hit a lot of sharp objects. xD Anyway, Miku is fine. I would never hurt Miku. Miku, next to Teto, is my favorite, so all is fine and good forever in this AU 😂😂😂😂 (thinking).

Something else I didn't mention but thought to talk about now is I REALLY like the light under their umbrella 'cuz what the heck?? xD The beach umbrella being this big is already based and very accurate, but the light also serves to show this is kinda like a safe place/spot for them and that's so cool?!????? It's like a safe haven or a save spot in a video game lol. I freakin' love how not only is the umbrella sheltering them from the weather and keeping them secluded/with each other-- it's also covering them in light and seemingly preserving it for them?? And Miku is singing ofc because she always is. Girl likes to sing lol.

Anyway, the symbolism goes so hard. Umbrellas are what you need for the rain but this is so 相合傘 (ai ai gasa / love-love umbrella)-coded lmao, I love it so much. When I first imagined them sharing an umbrella, that concept was literally on my mind, so I'm really happy that there's this freakin' cool symbolism going on even now, despite me changing the moment into a slightly different one from Miku and Teto happily sharing an umbrella and walking around or whatever. xD

I'm not confident in my coloring yet 'cuz I'm impatient and rush things lol but I really love colored artworks and the colors chosen here are so great. Everything else is devoid of color except these two and the umbrella and under it and it's such a great effect.

I made it into my Windows computer app tile. I love it so much.

I really need to go to work now but long live Negidrill 😂😂😂😂 As long as I'm alive, I'll be making more. I really did make up my mind, so I'm not jinxing it, I promise. xD Trust. xD 💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰🥰

Thank you again, RandomNobody. 🥰 I won't forget this and I won't be able to 'cuz this will be on my wall soon lmfao. Colored artworks go on my wall. Uncolored artworks get printed and go at my desk. Either way, they are always in my room with me, along with my Triple Baka keychains. 😂😂😂😂

[magesup]

tips on starting an art account?

firstly thank you for trusting me for giving tips ;;;;. secondly this will be a mix of what i would tell myself when i was first starting out and some things ive learned from people i follow :D (please learn from my mistakes T__T)

wait until you feel confident in your art before you start posting it. dont make an account when youre just starting out. this may just be a me case, but i started this account when i was first learning digital and knowing that people have seen the cringy things i drew when i was in middle school is just...*shudders*

try to post consistently! i know its hard ;__; (i struggled a lot with this) especially when youre slow but i feel like most people on the internet just kinda ??? forget you exist ?? unless you remind them constantly that youre alive ??? it is the sad truth but that is the consumerism capitalist world we live in 😔 so likeee maybe once every week idk?? it all depends on your own personal schedule. and please dont force yourself to draw constantly, personal matters and your health come first TOT (and forcing yourself to draw when you dont want to can be mentally taxing) 

consider peak post times! theres a certain time every day where people are more likely to log on, so by posting at this time you can get more exposure. i believe the peak time on tumblr is 7-10 pm?? and on twitter its around noon

and also fair warning...unfortunately...i feel like a lot of getting noticed is just up to luck with the algorithm gods 😔 a ton of artists i follow and admire greatly do not get nearly as much love as i think they deserve. sometimes i just *clenches fist* wish i can give them all my likes and followers cause they deserve them that much...social media is such a pain,,,,

this got kinda long, so please join me under the cut if you want to read the other half of the tips ^^

interact with your followers! when you get a reply or ask, reply back! its super fun and cool to get to know who the people who interact with your art TVT

dont feel discouraged if you dont get that much interaction at first ;;!!! trust me, ive been there, and so have most artists i feel, when i was first starting out ;v; and im gonna be completely honest and serious here, this may sound harsh, but you dont want to blow up when youre just starting out....the first couple of weeks, months, or even years of an art account is just trial and error: improving your art, finding your style, gaining an audience, finding whats right for you. but having hundreds and thousands of people watching you right from the beginning? my younger self would have been so excited when that happened, but my current self will wince at how naive that was. maybe you will understand this, maybe you wont? i actually dont know how many people share this mindset with me sooo *sweats*

please have faith in your work! the quality of your work isnt determined by likes or follower counts, its all how you feel about it. putting your art out for the world to be seen can be scary and sometimes disappointing :((( but please never give up! i promise your hard work and effort will not betray you in the end :,)

lastly and most importantly, have fun! having an art account can be super fun but also sometimes a burden 😔 no matter what happens, please just have fun with doing something you love! i believe that when you are happy, your art will be happy as well ^v^

thank you once again for reading! whenever i get asked for tips they always get so long,,,but i feel like all the explanation is important ;__; nonetheless i hope this is helpful to you ^v^

[requiemofthespirit]

One of things I admire about your art the most is the way you use the strokes of a piantbrush (I think their called that? Idk). Most other artists here and elsewhere on the net, when doing a piece with paints, focus on fine art, and try and make it as small, think, and precise as possible. However, your Skull Kid pieces (particularly, "He never will come back... Right?") do a wonderful job of using larger bolder strokes to add emphasis on certain parts and places of it. In short, the unique ways you use a brush add greatly to the overall quality of your work, and help it stand out!

Thank you so much Anon, your comment really made my day! I enjoy colouring like that a lot because it gives me more “freedom” with the strokes rather than when I use a fine and precise lineart, which I really struggle with. I use that style mainly for skull kid designs because I think it helps me to convey well the atmosphere I want and also cause I love how colours work together, specially when it comes to red/green and Majora’s purple. I always feel like I don’t really have a recognisable “style” so reading this made me very happy, thank you!!

[9hwa9joong]

My Top Songs [2020]

Hi all!

As 2020 comes to an end (thank whatever higher power there is), I wanted to share a list of my favorite songs! (the following are songs RELEASED this year) (I’ve included a list of songs that I heard this year, but weren’t released in 2020, after it). These are mostly korean/chinese.

Alright, this is in NO particular order, just my favorites. I’ve mostly included one song from a group/solo act and added their other great releases in description. It is mostly music that I listened to, so if your favs are not here, feel free to rec me good music! ENJOY!

(the list ended up becoming quite long, so read under the cut)

Black swan(orchestral version) by BTS

BTS had a great year musically. 2 korean albums, 1 japanese and lots of solo stuff. My most played songs are Dynamite (listen, she did what she had to do), Stay Gold (if gold had a sound, this would be it), Black Swan, Blue and Grey (i live for melancholy), Life Goes On (spring day’s successor), Filter(park jimin is a threat), Friends (my feels!), Louder than bombs (TROYE SIVAN), UGH (murder music), 00:00, Moon (jin solos are beautiful always) and Your Eyes Tell (honestly, show me one bad japanese single, i dare you).

Ghosting by TXT

I got into TXT a lot more this year, as opposed to being a casual listener that I was last year. Many people say they have a no-skip discography and I believe it’s true. My most played songs were Blue Hour (i ADORE this song), We Lost the summer, Wishlist, Can’t you see me (the song that made me a stan), Fairy of Shampoo (ethereal), PUMA (choi yeonjun is a threat), Eternally (an ATTACKK!) and their f2020 cover.

Answer by ATEEZ

Ateez is another group i really got into this year, mesmerized by their performance abilities. My most played : Star 1117 (i’m very soft for this song), To the Beat (a true bop), Inception (holy jongho vocals), One day at a time and Good Lil Boy (does hongjoong ever have a bad rap verse?). Their Black Cat Nero cover also blew me away!! (i’m lowkey obsessed).

God’s menu by Stray Kids

I’ve been keeping an eye on Stray Kids ever since hellevator came out and this is my favourite song by them, so far (yes, i had a heart attack when i first saw Hyunjin). Most Played : Back Door (the beat drop gives me life, the choreo is probably my fav), All in, Easy (do they ever have a bad chorus?), GO LIVE (the beat??!! killer), Another Day (i am a slow jam hoe) and My Universe.

Pacman by eaJ   

I didn’t think it was possible to love him more after day6 but Jae’s solo music has proved me wrong. Yes, i love Pillows (with Keshi) to bits but pacman is my first love. Most Played : It just is (Seori and their golden vocals), LA TRAINS (vocals!!!), Pinocchio (the mv is adorable, the beat is so fun), 50 proof (the vibes man, it's the VIBES) and TRUMAN.

Left & Right by Seventeen

Another group with amazing releases this year, I’m slowly getting into Seventeen more these days. Most Played : Fallin’ Flower (so beautiful, the vocals), 24H (the beat change?!!???), 17 (Joshua, DK and Pink Sweats) and HOME;RUN (this is a brand of fun that is entirely their own).

Not by the moon by GOT7

I am no stranger to GOT7, i’ve liked their music for years now but this is one of their more lyrical releases this year and i adore when GOT7 does this type of music. Most Played : Poison (jackson opens it and the vibes are immaculate), Last Piece (the way the vocals flow into the rap) and Thank You, Sorry.

So Beautiful by DPR IAN

This is literally the first song i’ve heard from this artist, please rec me more. I also adore No Blueberries with DPR LIVE and CL.

Eight by IU, Prod. SUGA

IU is an indisputable vocal queen, and her music always comforts me greatly so when i heard she was having a song produced by Yoongi, i promptly lost my shit. It was everything I expected and more and embodies sorrow and pain with great grace. Give you My Heart from the ‘Crash Landing on you OST’ was also a loved song this year.

Cry for me by TWICE

How do i talk about the queens? TWICE is the group i go to when I want fun music with good vibes but this song has such bad b*tch vibes that i am in love. Most played : More & More (a bop), Don’t call me again, I can’t stop me (i love the way it flows), Handle It (the vocals??? How pretty this song is???) and Say Something (seriously, eyes wide open is an amazing album).

Criminal by Teamin

Where do i start with Lee Taemin? I love almost all his solo stuff. He grabbed me by the neck ever since ‘Move’ and hasn't let go. Criminal is SO taemin that i don't think anyone else could have delivered the concept with such grace and grit. Most Played : 2 Kids (the chorus is so good), Clockwork, Idea (i love the vibe) and Pansy (i'm a ballad hoe).

Maria by Hwasa

Listen, i loved Twit when it came out but i love Maria as her sound so much more. Most Played : I’m bad too (feat. DPR LIVE) (i love the beat, the vibe and the flavor), LMM and Orbit from ‘The King: Eternal Monarch OST’ (as soon as her voice comes in, i loved the song).

Breath by DEAN, Rad Museum, Mokyo

I’m not aware of many DEAN releases this year, please feel free to rec me if I missed any.

Dear my friend by Agust D ft. Kim Jong Wan (NELL)

D-2 was everything expected from the second mixtape off Agust D and yet it brought a fresh wave of singing and melodies, once again proving the man’s production genius. This song is so reminiscent in it’s lyrics and still so real, its my favorite off the record.Other songs I loved : People, Deachwita and What do you think? (i DID love the complete mixtape though).

Given - Taken by Enhypen

Yes, I watched  I-LAND. Given-Taken was a better debut then I expected at first. 10 months (the chorus and beat) and Flicker off their debut album were also played a lot. 

I just want to stay with you by Zion.T

The King: Eternal Monarch was a much awaited drama for a lot of people and it’s OST is one of the best ones this year. Zion.T’s amazing vocals really did an amazing job of expressing the love in the story. Other songs I really liked from this album were Gravity by Kim Jong Wan and the Hydrangea Instrumental by Lee Geon Yeong.

The purge by Jay Park, pH-1, Woodie Gochild, Sik-K, and others.

H1GHER: RED TAPE is my hype album of the year. All artists involved did an amazing job. Seriously, get yourself some bomb ass beats, as a treat. Other loved tracks : Telefono Remix (Woodie Gochild is great at his flavour of delivery), Closed Case and The Arrival.

Soul by Lay (zhang yixing)

Yixing’s album LIT was his best project till date, no arguments. He’s really evolved into such a refined musician, especially with how well he merges traditional chinese instruments into Hip Hop/RnB beats and I adore the vibe of this album. Although the album is great entirely, Soul is my favourite for how softly and prettily it flows. Other loved tracks: Eagle (the BEAT), Fly, Boom (bops on bops on BOPS) and Call My Name.

100 ways by Jackson Wang

It is astounding how well Jackson has formed his own style of music ever since starting off with Papillon. He’s also sort of come into himself as an artist and it has birthed some great music. Other loved tracks : Pretty Please (i love the vibe of the song!) and Should’ve Let Go (ft. JJ Lin).

SUGA’s interlude by Halsey 

Idk how else to explain it but Halsey and Yoongi have great music synergy. There’s something about their song/lyric writing that matches very well and needless to say, I adore the song. Blueberry eyes by MAX is also another great Yoongi collab.

In Your Time by Lee Suhyun

It’s Okay to not be Okay had an OST that was dreamy, gritty and very fairytale-esque, much like the drama itself. Among a bunch of great songs, this one is my favourite. Other loved songs: You’re Cold by Heize (always delivers!), Breath by Sam Kim (OST angel), Hallelujah by Kim Feel (chills!), In Silence by Janet Suhh (literally how angelic is her tone??), I’m your Psycho by Janet Suhh (it’s creepy in a dreamy way) and Brother | Her World | Through the dark Tunnel of time | Butterfly - all amazing instrumentals by Nam Hye Seung and Park Sang Hee (seriously, go listen to the album).

By my side by Junny

Another great discovery towards the end of the Year, Junny has vocals for DAYS and admirable delivery. Other loved songs: AURA ft. pH-1, edge (this is so hypnotising in it’s beauty) and I will. Please feel welcome to educate me more about this artist!!

Make a Wish by NCT

NCT always provides bops and NCT U is my favourite sub-unit, for their unique style of music, so when they came out with this song I was ready and they delivered! Most Played : 90’s Love  (the old boy band theme was so well done), From Home (i’m a sucker for slow songs), Nectar (yes, i adore WayV’s music), MAD DOG by NCT 127 and Kick It by NCT 127 (this is the flavour of NCT i LOVE).

Zombie by Day6

Day6 has always been in my daily otations and as always, they put out good music after good music. I loved both the original Korean and the English versions of this song (they do rock well, what else is there to say?). Other loved songs : Tick Tock (oh the vocals, the way the beat moves!), Love me or Leave me, Day and Night... actually the whole Album is great, go listen to ‘The Book of us: The Demon’.

Fearless by Ma Di [other chinese songs]

Chinese songs have been a surprisingly pleasant addition to my daily rotation. Fearless from the “Go Ahead” OST takes the top stop because of how well it embodies the struggles of stepping into adulthood, the melody and MaDi’s amazing vocals. Other Chinese songs I loved: Praise for Red Plum Blossoms by Xiao Zhan (the perfect welcoming of spring paired with  such expressive vocals), Remaining Years by Xiao Zhan (Joy of Life OST) and his OST for the Oath of Love.

 ____________________________________________

The following is the list of songs I heard in 2020, but were not released in 2020. Please let me know if you like them, or if you know other similar music! (I know, I know, I’m late to the game) Enjoy!

DEAN - Sometimes I hear Howlin' in my head 

Zhang Jie/Zhang Bichen - Simple Wish 

Li Ronghao - If I were Young

JJ Lin - What I Miss

Ateez - Mist | Twilight | Wonderland | Say my name | Thank you 

Stray Kids - voices

Seventeen - Trauma

Loona - Hi High

Day6 - Shoot me 

GOT7 - You calling my Name 

RADWIMPS - Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?

Baekhyun - UN Village

Taemin - Goodbye | want

Aquillo - Silhouette

Talos - To Each His Own

Cigarettes after sex (literally everything)

__________________________________________________

I know this was long, if you read it till the end, I hope you all enjoyed it still.

Have a smooth year in 2021,

-love, c.

[edengarden]

Hey hey! Is it alright if I request a regular matchup for BNHA and Haikyuu...? Or maybe just one or the other, I’m completely fine with that too!

Oki, So my pronouns are she/her, and I am a bisexual, slight male lean!

I am 5’2 and a half, wavy light brown hair that ends at my shoulders that I often leave down, Dark Brown eyes, I have freckles in the summer, and I usually wear ripped navy jeans, a grey zipper jacket, black converse, a variety of simple t-shirts, and I always have a silver compass necklace on me.

My MBTI personality type is INFP-T

I am a Pisces!

I am the oldest sibling of 3; because of that, I have to often take care of my younger siblings, and I’m seen as the voice of reason whenever they start to get into trouble. I do have my moments sometimes where they help me deescalate instead of the reverse, because I have a tendency to be too loud and opinionated about things that excite me which has actually caused me a lot of trouble. Regardless, I feel as if I fit the older sibling niche pretty well.

I think I’d be described as someone who is kind, but holds grudges against others for actions I deem “unforgivable” by my own standards. I like to help people through their problems too, I’m the therapist friend aha, but my greatest vice is in my tendency to avoid my problems until they get worse than when they started, which is hypocritical on my part I’m aware...

In my free time, I enjoy playing DND, reading fan fiction, watching anime and documentaries, exploring outdoor places near my house, talking with my small group of friends until 3 am, and participating in choir because I adore singing. My music taste mainly revolves around artists like Lemon Demon, Coldplay, Two Door Cinema Club, and Shalfi (he’s on Spotify I recommend him greatly) along with video game soundtracks and anime OP’s/ED’s!

I look for a partner who’s willing to learn new things, but can be comfortable in routines when need be; Someone with a good head on their shoulder’s, who has the same hobbies I do, and is kind at heart. Traits I don’t particularly like are those who are flaky with their relationships, who don’t learn from mistakes they make, or extreme extroverts; I like my nights indoors a lot more than I do partying.

Thanks for allowing me to ask! 🍀

Hi hi!! Usually, I only do one fandom per matchup request, but if you’d like a haikyuu match up you’re more than welcome to re-send your description!!!

But OMGOMGOMG AT LAST I GET TO PAIR SOMEONE UP WITH AMAJIKIIIIII- yeah that’s right, you’re the lucky winner!

I just,, omg I think older sibling vibes would match with Tamaki?? So much?? And while you get carried away yourself when it comes to things you’re passionate about, I think Tamaki would really admire that? Like you’re willing to defend what you believe in, and that’s amazing. He needs someone who remains true to their values. I think he admired you from afar for a while; you’ll either need to approach him yourself, or Mirio saw what was going on and took the matters into his own hands. But he feels somewhat safe around you?? He can’t even explain why, no matter how much his friend pries at it.

While I know Tamaki’s reserved, I honestly think that edging juuust a bit out of his comfort zone (with situations that aren’t completely overwhelming) can be good! And he really wants to know more about your hobbies and see you in your element like please bring him along with you??

Idk dude I finished reading your description and the idea just popped into my head and it was great 🥺🥺

Songs!!

- Baby in Blue, Maddisenxoxo

- Sweater Weather, The Neighbourhood

- Lose It, Oh Wonder

- Soul Love, David Bowie

[the32ndbeat]

about me tag;

tagged by: @passionfruithyuck ( thank you so much for the tag love ❤️ this was super fun to do ^^ )

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

I don’t really have a lot of things I want or need tbh... I didn’t get any physical gifts for my birthday but I did get to go eat at a restaurant I liked so that was cool.

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

Hmm, the last song I listened to was Kick It by NCT 127!

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

I don’t snack a lot but when I do, I like to get bread >< and just slather it with peanut butter, kaya or jam! toasting it sometimes makes it SO MUCH better

4. What is your morning routine?

Ok right now, i’m living like a bum since uni doesn't start until early august so i wake up at 8am ( my phone is my alarm ) but i rarely REALLY wake up at 8am so i either go back to sleep until 10am latest or lounge in bed with my phone for a bit ( and by a bit i mean an hour or so ). I go to brush my teeth and wash my face then i’ll go get breakfast! I must drink a glass of water every morning before i eat, it’s a routine by now. I usually don’t eat breakfast if i wake up too late ( like maybe 9:45am ) or i’d just eat one slice of bread as compared to two. I like to walk around and just keep standing for about an hour to aid digestion ( i’m weird i know ) and then i’ll settle down in the living room with my laptop and do whatever I want for the day! 

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

A dragon for sure.

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

i usually ignore them, just simply don’t talk to them. I rarely find ppl i don’t like though and i usually try my best to like people or give them a chance so if i don’t like you then... I guess i REALLY don’t like you. 

7. How do you define a toxic person?

hmm to me, it’s someone who’s just fake. someone who acts all nice and friendly in front of you but actually hates or someone who only talks to you when you’ve got something they want and will ignore you in a heartbeat once they’ve taken advantage of you.

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fanmeet type of event? If not, would you want to?

I have! But it’s not a kpop concert, it’s a taiwanese singer’s concert. Show Luo, has anyone heard of him? I’d love love love to go to a tbz or nct concert and fanmeet!! it’d mean the world to me to be able to see them in real life.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Yes, to a certain extent. I believe in the personality description part but not when it comes to predicting events because i think ultimately what happens is caused by your own actions rather than astrological events.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

Sight. For sure sight. I want to be able to see. I’m a very avid reader ( although i could learn braille but idk ) and i’m a visual learner so yes, sight.

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

um i’d have to say the boyz’s juyeon... he’s so incredibly talented and his blankness and clueless/innocent personality just makes me love him more if that’s still possible ><

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

I probably wouldn’t even be able to get a single word out because of how nervous i am but i’d tell juyeon to keep working hard, never give up and that deobis will always have tbz’s back. we can see that they’re working very hard and we are extremely proud and grateful for them for that. i would also say that he’s super inspiring to me and i greatly admire his dancing, being a dancer myself. he’s not just an idol i may have a gigantic crush on but also a role model to me ^^

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going and what are we going to do?

i’m a boring person so we’d go watch movies because i love movies and then we’d go get food and maybe bubble tea after, just walking around the city and talking ^^ either that or we’ll go to an amusement park!

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

normally savoury but these days i’ve been feeling sweet more often, not sure why

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favorite artists? If so, what?

I actually don’t lmao... I really want to buy a tbz album eventually though!

tagging: @ihearttbz @minfuwa @fluffytbz @renjunwrites @hyuckgasm @in-my-neofeelings @badwithten @jopping-to-my-kpop @moondustaeil @neo-cult-ure @127vevo @nzeeten @mae-gi-writes @tbzhours @atbzkingdom @chaoticdeobi @jenocakes�� @sankyeom @byunbaekby + anyone who wants to do this ^^ just say i tagged you! 

( i just realised i tagged so many ppl omo but i rly wanna know how y'all will answer this questions! don’t feel pressured to do it though ^^ )

[schakira]

Think of a show or movie that had an ending you hated. How would you have rewritten it?

Okay, I love you for asking the question of the decenny. I cannot stress the importance of this question to me. I've even stopped everything, including drinking water, in order to write an answer to this question. I even opened up a google drive doc to go into long details about...

WHY Naruto Shippuden’s ending is absolute fucking trash, and how I would change it

FIRST of all, Naruto is the first anime that made me discover streaming sites. It made me want to become an artist as a young teen, and discover a creative world with deep writings. I was persuaded that Naruto was the HEIGHT of all anime, because of what it has brought into my life. I still think about this story everyday, and that’s the impact it has had on me. It was just so iconic. But you see, as I grew up, I ended up noticing the mistakes in the show, the countless fillers, the talk no jutsus, the repetitive plotlines, the mistreatment of women in the show, the poor writing, so on and so forth. The ending of the naruto franchise was a complete let down, introducing power-ups after power-ups late into the show, weird plotlines surrounding the Uchiha clan, incoherent political conflicts that stem from seemingly nothing tangible, all at the price of beautiful narrative potential that was introduced at the beginning of the story. And I think this is all the fault of Shonen Jump.

There’s something about weekly serialization of a manga, and constant concurrences that force you to create chapter after chapter, cliffhanger after cliffhanger, weird plot threads after plot holes, so on and so forth. Whether you want to or not, it ends up warping the story into something you hadn’t envisioned at the start. HELL!!! Masashi Kishimoto’s editors even forced the guy to introduce a main villain during the Chunin exam arc, creating Orochimaru, the first main villain of the series. Had that intervention not occured, we would have been closer to the original Naruto storyline that Masashi Kishimoto intended to create. To me, it’s a complete no brainer that the story needs to change at its beginning for it to have a truly satisfying ending; what people loved about Naruto was the journey, and the hard work behind each character. They loved Rock Lee vs Gaara because it was Diligence vs Talent, the Innate vs the Learned. (something Naruto vs Neji pretended to be; I mean Neji was preaching that Talent always beat hard work, and Naruto proved him right by using the Nine Tails’ Chakra he had since birth to beat him.)

You ask, how would I change the ending of a show that I hated? Well here’s how I would change the entirety of the naruto franchise to not be going to trash, in a few steps:

Delete Orochimaru, or make sure that when he dies he dies for good. I swear this dude comes back faster than cockroaches. stay down queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Uchiha Clan massacre should not be turned into “an admirable act of self-sacrifice” by Itachi because what the actual fuck? The Uchiha clan was a marginalised minority in the village of Konoha, and the Hokage kept pushing them and denying them rights, putting them next to police districts to monitor them, and treating them as demons that the clan itself started to prepare a revolution, which they then used as justification for their whole ethnic cleansing and fans of the show still think it was the right thing to do. Hello? Itachi is fucking crazy, a war puppet manipulated and groomed by the village into turning against his own clan for the sake of the people of Konoha!!! Where in your mind is that sane? Sasuke was right to go seek revenge against Itachi AND justice against the village.

Keeping that in mind, Sasuke’s plotline where he adamantly pursues more power away from the village is actually iconic, so I’d keep it that way, to contrast with Naruto mindlessly wanting to be the Hokage for fame and prestige, only to then be faced with the reality of this ninja world full of death. The story would be one of moral turmoil for Naruto, wondering if his dream is even worth pursuing after hearing the truth of the world, the Uchiha Clan and the horrors committed by the Konoha village. (Also we could add in the very easily forgotten fact that the Uzumaki Clan was also massacred during a war and there are only a few Uzumaki members left?)

NO RESURRECTION. NO RESURRECTION JUTSU. NO ONE COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD PLEASE!!!! even 13yo-me understood that this greatly undervalued the shock and importance of death in this show. Maybe it was cute when they did it with Gaara but like… for the entire konoha village during the pain arc? during the whole 4th ninja war??? get out.

Following that, the resurrection jutsu that orochimaru created should not exist too. fuck that shit. it was cool for 10 minutes and then they overused it.

Madara, Hashirama, The sage of Sixth Paths and whoever the fuck should STAY as legends, where legends belong: in the past.

Give actual plotlines, character growth and screetime to women. Sakura had so much potential, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, Ino… hell everyone had so much to do but they were rendered to… nothing. This is why everyone’s like “blah blah blah fuck Sakura” of fucking course you can’t like her; she’s been written to be a bland character when she had so much potential (i.e. chakra control. Tsunade’s apprentice, etc…)

How should the show end? With Naruto vs Sasuke, after everything, with the same intensity and ninja tricks. I just don’t want the inter-dimensional alien shit going on. Fuck the Otsutsuki clan. All my homies hate the Otsutsuki Clan.

Actually, if anything, I think there’s probably someone who wrote a fanfic where they actually fix everything I’m talking about here. So I’m gonna stop here before I start writing a 30 pages thesis on this.

Long story short: Weekly serialization kills good stories imo. Good stories take time, otherwise they lose their beauty. idk. I didn't reread myself and I wrote all of this at 5am instead of sleeping. 

(and in terms of visuals, you can also see a drastic change in panelling, art style, dynamism and whatnot between old Naruto and Boruto. It’s so flagrant. but this is a story for another day. I have a lot of opinions on that)

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Here's the "You're queer and cat person" - anon. Idk, you just seemed like that (and you also remind me a lot of myself) So yeah, I hope you don't think I'm creepy, I just like to see what you're up to atm, and enjoy watching a mutual I *actually* really admire. Btw, I also think you feel weird about being a fan of someone (not just their work) cause they're a real person and you only ever see how they 'portray' themselves, rather than how they truly are (cause you're not friends)

Awww I’m super flattered. <3 You’re not creepy, LOL! I know I’m a hermit who lives in her little cottage but the door is always open and people are welcome to come inside.

I’m not sure if I’m worthy of admiration, darling nonny, but I’m humbled to know you do so and I hope I’ll continue to be worthy of your respect, even if I fuck up sometimes.

Aha you are 1000% on the nose with that. It’s a balance because it’s not like artists/celebrities are lying when we see them in interviews or behind the scenes footage or whatever. They’re not putting on a fake personality, they’re being themselves (although there are exceptions). But they are putting on a persona at the same time - because you behave differently when there are cameras, you behave differently at work than when with your mother than when with your friends than when alone with your partner. We the fans see only one part of that person, far less than what their coworkers, friends, lovers, and family see.

And as you said, you can’t truly know someone you’ve never spoken to personally. You can’t know someone you haven’t had actual conversations with. There’s this strong impression that we know who an artist “truly is” and in a way it’s accurate because yes, we see much more of them than we do most strangers, especially with social media we see when they fuck up, we see when they do good deeds, we see when they are respectful or an asshole. We do see parts of them. But you can’t see all of them if you’re not in their lives and they’re not in yours. That’s just not how it works.

So although I greatly admire the work of a lot of artists and I certainly am attracted to quite a few of them, and I will respect them and I will applaud when they do things that are admirable, I don’t “stan” and I don’t obsess and I never will. It just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m not friends with Florence Welch, or Lucy Liu, or Matthew Mercer. So I don’t truly know them. And neither does any other fan. Full stop.

[silvermoon822]

So I’m doing a lot of work in and on comics lately

Professional and hobby. I am just so proud of the improvement I’m seeing in my work lately. All the hard work and years spent practicing anatomy, story telling, layout, color and light theory, and contour lines/line weight, I’m finally seeing it all come together to form work that I am honestly so excited about.

While the new results will not be shown to the public until January 8th (Bowiemas), I just wanted to thank and point other people towards some of the artists who have so greatly inspired me and that I’ve used as indirect teachers in my growth.

First and foremost, I have to give my absolute thanks and admiration to the lovely @colleendoran . Her comics, especially the series A Distant Soil, have become one of the central pillars on my “Future Goals”. The storytelling and characters, the way she artfully shows such emotion and layout design is nothing short of awe inspiring. She was one of the main inspirations behind the style in this piece:

And has absolutely been one of the biggest inspirations behind the Ziggy blog. Ziggy’s Aresian surname, Seren, is named after my favorite character of hers. The Aresian avatar, Aeryis, was also a nod to a few characters of the hierarchy in A Distant Soil, namely Sere and Niniri.

Idk about you guys, but I can definitely feel Colleen’s influence on my work in this set.

Another notable inspiration would be the work of @nielgaiman . While working on the story that will be released this upcoming Bowiemas, I was devouring books such as Stardust, Sandman, Snow Glass Apples, Coraline (a favorite to re-read) and Good Omens. Niel has such a way with words and atmosphere that I would love to achieve in my own work, and hope to use his influence to hone that skill.

The work of Wendy and Richard Pini was really what got me started on wanting to do more in comics. The narrative and colors used in Elfquest has captured my attention since I was in middle school, and they never cease to amaze me with their clothing designs and plot twists. I had the absolute pleasure of getting to meet both of them this summer, and it was one of the first and only times I found myself dumbstruck by the sheer “OH MY GOD ITS THEM” of it all. They were so kind and encouraged me to keep drawing.

And naturally, my list of major influences wouldn’t be complete without David Bowie. While that’s no big shock to anyone who has followed or even just glanced at my blog and portfolio, I really can’t stress enough how much David has meant to me. After he passed, it hurt my heart too much to truly delve into his work and characters as hardcore as I had been before, and it’s only just within the last few months that I’ve been sliding back into surrounding myself with his music and influence. I truly couldn’t thank him enough for the push he’s not only given my art towards improving, but for the sheer will to fight my screwed up serotonin levels and to love myself enough to keep on pushing through the tough times.

These artists are so very important to me, and I can’t express my gratitude enough for the guidance their work has given me. While I’m not anywhere near perfect yet, it’s such a fun thing to be able to look at the journeys and works of these brilliant people and know that one day I might be that good too.

Thank you so much, everyone

[eldritchsurveys]

850.

1. What kinds of genres of music do you listen to? >> It’d be easier to name the genres I don’t listen to...

2. Are there any types of music that you don’t listen to at all? >> ...which would be bluegrass, polka, uh... noise... K-pop... yeah, that’s all I got right now. Honestly, K-pop is probably only here because I just haven’t gone to check out any songs, not because I actively don’t like the genre.

3. Do you own any band tees? >> Yeah, most of my t-shirts are band shirts.

4. Name some of your favorite male solo artists. >> Eddie Vedder, David Bowie, Steve Vai, Orville Peck, Sam Cooke.

5. Name some of your favorite female solo artists. >> Elle King, Sia, Beyoncé, Anita Baker, Céline Dion.

6. Name some of your favorite boy-bands. >> Okay, so are we talking boy bands, like Backstreet Boys and One Direction, or just bands with dudes in them? Because I don’t really listen to boy bands anymore (aside from songs that I remember from childhood), so.

7. Name some of your favorite all-girl bands. >> Hmm... I’m not sure I listen to any all-female bands. There’s some female-fronted bands in my library, but the rest of the members are dudes.

8. Name some of your favorite bands/groups in general. >> Oof. Here’s five: Zeal & Ardor, Coheed & Cambria, Pearl Jam, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Volbeat.

9. Do you sing in the shower? >> Sometimes, if a song I know the lyrics to is playing. I listen to music every time I shower, it helps distract my hell brain.

10. Do you sing along with the radio in the car? >> I don’t sing along in the car because Sparrow has a thing about people singing.

11. Do you listen to music while you are cooking, filling out surveys, or cleaning the house? >> Sometimes I listen to music while taking surveys, but I don’t do it often because I find it too distracting. I do listen to music while cleaning, or taking walks, or doing any other task that mostly involves my body more than my brain.

12. What’s the name of the song that you’re listening to right now, if any? What’s the name of the band/singer? >> I’m not listening to music.

13. What kinds of music do your parents listen to? Do you think that their music taste differs greatly? Whose music taste is better, in your opinion? >> I grew up listening to soul, R&B, gospel, that sort of thing. I still listen to that stuff because I enjoy it.

14. Do you ever listen to music without any words? >> Sure.

15. Are there any famous musicians that you’ve met? Are there any that you would like to meet? >> Yeah, I’ve met uhh... Avenged Sevenfold, Coheed & Cambria, and Sevendust multiple times, as well as Halestorm, Steve Vai, three-quarters of Volbeat (lead singer wasn’t feeling great so he left the venue early)... yeah, I think that’s it. I used to be really into that kind of thing, but I’m largely over it now; I actually think it would be cool to see Sparrow meet Hozier, because she’s not had that experience.

16. What was the first concert you’ve been to, if any? How about the last/most recent? Which, out of all of the concerts you’ve attended, was the best? >> First concert was Avenged Sevenfold and Coheed & Cambria (co-headliner tour), in Asbury Park, New Jersey, in April 2006. The last concert I went to was Hozier here in Grand Rapids, last year sometime. I think it was last year. :x My time sense is all fucked up. Anyway, I’ve been to way too many concerts to start naming one as the best one ever, that’s crazy. Most of the shows I’ve been to were awesome as fuck (there were a couple ehhhh... ones, and then there was one I was way too high to enjoy lmao, but usually I have a great time).

17. Do you have a favorite movie soundtrack? What is it? >> I have a favourite movie soundtrack composer, actually, and that’s Clint Mansell. Everything he does is just... AAAAAAAAA for me. I can always tell when he’s done a score because I can just feel the music in my bones, and then I look at the credits and I’m like “OH OF COURSE IT WAS YOU.”

18. Would you want to be a band groupie? Why or why not? >> I had a phase way back when where I was obsessed with groupie culture (from like the late sixties through the eighties) and if you’d asked me then, I’d have said yes. I’ve wised up by now and I definitely would not want that.

19. What is a band/singer you would like to see but haven’t gotten a chance to yet? >> Yeah, there’s a lot of bands and singers like that. But I’d have to be really picky nowadays about who I went to see, because I just can’t deal with most concert environments as well as I used to anymore.

20. Do you care more about the beat of the music you listen to, or the lyrics? >> I mean, when it comes to the first listen, it’s going to be the melody that catches me. If that doesn’t happen, then I’m not even going to bother looking at the lyrics, so...

21. Does anyone in one of your favorite bands play an unusual instrument? >> I listen to some prog bands, so there’s definitely some unusual instruments happening in at least some songs.

22. What are some of the songs that you listen to the most frequently? >> I don’t know, probably Master Boot Record and Zeal & Ardor tracks. I’m a bit obsessed right now.

23. Could you make a playlist of songs that describes your life? What kinds of playlists do you have made? >> I don’t think so. I’ve definitely tried in the past, but when you really start thinking about the vast array of experiences and feelings that make up a life, it becomes fuckin impossible.

24. Do you remember listening to music on CDs and cassettes, not just on the internet? >> Yeah. Definitely don’t miss it, gotta say.

25. What kind of music device do you use in order to listen to music? (iPod, MP3 Player, etc.) >> I use my phone or computer, with Spotify.

26. Is there anyone in your family who is a musician? >> ---

27. Would you ever consider a career in music? >> No. I love music, but as a consumer.

28. What is a song that would describe your current mood? Who is it by? >> I’m not really in any kind of mood. If you know a song about being vaguely tired, then that’s it.

29. Are there any musicians of the past that you really admire? >> Well, sure...

30. Do you listen to Top 40 type music? >> I don’t even know what’s on the Top 40, so... maybe? Probably not, though, I haven’t really gotten into any mainstream-popular artists recently that I can think of.

31. What musical instrument would you like to learn how to play? Have you ever played an instrument before/taken lessons? What was it? >> I don’t really care to learn any instruments. It’s not something I feel passionate about, not like how I feel about listening to music. I’ve taken bass guitar lessons before, in like... 2008 or so? IDK. Years are fake.

32. Do you enjoy watching musicals on DVD or sitting through them as plays? Which method do you prefer, and which is your favorite? >> I would love to watch musicals live, but I definitely cannot afford it. I’m fine watching recordings of them (or movie adaptations, in some cases). My favourite stage musical is Phantom of the Opera (I say “stage musical” because I also have a favourite movie musical, and that’s Repo! the Genetic Opera).

33. What was the worst concert you’ve ever attended before, and what made it the worst? >> Taste of Chaos at Nassau Coliseum. It was the worst because arena shows are just the worst, period. I was right up in front (my friends and I camped out overnight) and I just got repeatedly slammed against the barricade and crowd-surfers landed on my head multiple times, et cetera. I’m surprised I didn’t leave with actual injuries (was wondering if I was gonna need a neck brace by the end), but I did feel pretty damn shitty the next day.

34. Have you ever crowd-surfed during a show or been a part of a mosh pit? >> Nope.

35. Have you ever gotten into an altercation with a drunken concert fan before? What happened? >> Nah, everyone I’ve met at shows have been pretty cool, if not downright awesome. That’s one thing I always loved about going to concerts, I seemed to make new friends every time.

36. Have you ever dated someone who was a musician? >> No, but I’ve fucked a few.

37. What are some of your favorite music videos to watch? >> Oh, man, it’s getting late and while I could go ham on this question, I don’t have the time right now lol. I’ll just say that I love nineties-era music videos, and some from the aughts as well. I feel like those were the best years for music videos, but that might just be nostalgia (and the fact that I haven’t really seen as many videos from the 2010s). As far as recent artists are concerned, I think Orville Peck makes really evocative and moody (not necessarily moody like pensive or depressive. mood-y. mood-evoking) videos that I appreciate.

38. Have you ever made a lyric video on YouTube? >> No.

39. Have you ever recorded a cover song and posted it? What kind of feedback did you receive? >> No.

40. Is there an album cover design that you really admire? >> I’ve seen so many excellent album covers, I couldn’t even begin to address this.

41. What are some of the most overplayed songs right now, in your opinion? >> I wouldn’t know, I don’t listen to radio or anything.

42. Do you watch music awards shows on television? >> No.

43. Have you ever competed in any sort of singing contest before? >> No.

44. Have you ever tried to start your own band before? >> No.

45. What’s the name of a band/singer that you recently have discovered? >> Dreamcar (yet another Davey Havok side project, because he just can’t be tamed, apparently).

46. What are some annoying/weird/funny songs that have gotten stuck in your head before? >> Barbara Ann gets stuck in my head all the time, but that’s okay because it’s fun and I love it.

47. Are there any songs that actually make you cry? What are they, and who are they by? >> There are many songs that make me cry. We ain’t got time for a list like that.

48. Do you listen to any music in another language? >> Sure. Off the top of my head, I can think of fave songs in German, Swedish, Japanese, Indian, and Italian. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[garregmachmatchups]

hi mod ava!! would i please be able to request a regular matchup?? i’m bi, so i don’t mind any gender. i hope this isn’t too much info, but i hope the layout makes it readable?? thank you so much!! 

personality

the good: 

curious

i love to learn? is that a good thing? (as long as I’m not being graded on it,,, otherwise that’s a disaster)

open-minded

thoughtful

good conversationalist/listener (or, at least I’d like to think so,,, i can talk for hours and hours)

trustworthy (ish)

compassionate (or at least, i try to be!!)

patient

accepting (within reason aadjsdfkjhfds essentially i just try to not judge people)

understanding (i do my very best!!)

the bad:

prone to catastrophizing (that’s the anxiety poking through)

indecisive (I cannot make a decision to save my life)

shy (it’s not that I’m quiet or withdrawn, I’m just Deeply Afraid Of Rejection)

unforgiving (while I can be pretty patient, once I’m done with someone, I’m Done)

prone to melancholy (I do my best to fight it, but that melancholy be Strong)

overthinker (i literally write a whole dissertation in my head about a topic literally No One cares about… or i’ll decide to pick apart my relationships with others when it’s really not that deep. this one’s a mixed bag.)

irresponsible (ish. i can take care of myself and my roommate, but i get a bit scared of Responsibility with a capital R. idk if i’m making much sense but,,, i can take responsibility, i’m just scared i’ll mess up so i try not to?? ir’s something i really need to work on)

the neutral:

opinionated (I’m putting it as a neutral trait bc I’ve been told that I’m “interesting to talk to” because of it, but my god… sometimes I wish I’d just calm down,,, and there are just some things it’s not worth being opinionated on, you know?)

Sensitive (with a capital s) 

imaginative (fun for creative things, bad when your catastrophizing)

talkative (for similar reasons as opinionated… I love to talk and I have So Much to say, but sometimes I wish I’d just learn to… shut my damn mouth)

my sense of humour (i’d describe myself as a “chaos goblin”, and one of my friends once said I’m a “mixed bag of human”, meaning that he can never predict what I’m going to say to him next; essentially i have a very “flexible” sense of humour, but the more absurd, the better)

perceptive (neutral just bc while it’s good when dealing with people I like, it’s fuel for anxiety)

a bit of a “mum friend” (in the sense that,,, i’m always concerned with people’s health and wellbeing but that can come off as overbearing at times? and it’s ironic that i’m a mum friend because as stated earlier, i can be kind of irresponsible hhh)

Interests

reading (when I can actually commit to a book sjkdfhs)

writing (when I’m not LAZY!! Also, my genres tend to be more along fantasy or urban fantasy lines? A little sci-fi, when I’m not scared off by trying to do worldbuilding for that genre because O H B O Y science & technology is a LOT scarier than magic tbh)

trawling Wikipedia for an unreasonably long time

drawing

character analysis (my favourite part of engaging with any new media skdfhkfhj)

anthropology (it’s my uni major and I love it!! so much!! i could talk about it for hours!!)

history (shamefully, i am a nerd)

art history (I LOVE ART, my fave artist is probably alphonse mucha? If you’ve never seen his stuff definitely have a look! It’s A Lot but it’s stunning)

sociolinguistics (it’s so interesting!! And I guess languages too, but I’m so bad at learning them asjfdhddsklj)

fashion (in a way? I just love pretty clothes, and my style is… a lot of patterns, especially animals and flowers, and it’s retro-adjacent?)

D O G S

most animals tbh (I love foxes and owls! i also adore mythological creatures, like dragons and griffins and all that)

again, i hope this isn’t too much!! thank you again, and i hope you enjoy the rest of 2019!! (when will i stop using exclamation marks my goodness–)

Hewooo!💕Omg I love your matchups I can’t believe you asked me for one I feel honored lsfdjdjakj. I really hope I don’t disappoint lol. Also haha I got inspired. So without further ado, let’s get to it! Your match is…

Claude von Riegan!!! 

Bro you and Claude are like two peas in a pod. You both share a passion for knowledge, curious about the world and people around you. It’s a big part of who you are, which makes it all the more important for you to find someone who sympathizes with that need. For Claude, it’s one of his biggest motivators. Same as you, he appreciates different cultures and societies greatly. For that he needs someone who is open-minded and accepting, someone who can support his dreams, a world without borders, as well as someone who can accept who he truly is. With Claude’s curious nature, he always looks to be engaged, so your conversational and passionate character would certainly be intriguing to him. I can just imagine you two going on about for hours and hours, discussing anything and everything that comes to mind, especially about stuff relating to different cultures and different ways of life. Because Claude is more on the lighthearted side, someone with a sense of humor would be best suited for him, so someone who is as “chaotic” and unpredictable as you would be perfect to keep him engrossed and prying. All the same, Claude’s light-heartedness would be greatly beneficial to you, as you often struggle with anxious thoughts and feelings. A calm presence in your life to remind you things aren’t as bad as they seem, especially one as rational and reasoned as Claude. As we all know though, Claude despite acting light-hearted is quite secretive and wary of others. Therefore the fact that you have a trustworthiness about you could really get Claude to open up to you more so than to others. You being patient and perceptive would also be of great help, knowing Claude has his reasons as well as you being willing to wait until he opens up. Together, you’d be sure to change yourselves and the world for the better

Headcannons:

When you first meet Claude, you are incredibly drawn to him, as he possesses a very mysterious air about him, which of course only entices your curiosity.

Claude, sensing this, in turn, becomes curious about you (meanwhile everyone else just senses sexual tension)

Um, lowkey a detective couple? Discovering the mysteries of the world together…or your classmates’ secrets

Also tea time with you guys is #DEEP. Just thinking about the world and life in general

Sometimes it just turns into you rambling about your opinions or just in general things you want to talk about and Clause just listening to you with admiration or vice versa where he just talks about his vision of the world and you just staring at him in wonder, just goals

When Claude first hears you talking so passionately about stuff like anthropology and history, he immediately goes “Yep, they’re definitely the one”

He really appreciates how patient you are with him, even when you are curious about him. He promises though that one day he’ll share everything with you

Claude is always there to help whenever you start overthinking or catastrophizing, as he always has a logical argument as to why the situation is not as it seems. If it’s something more serious though and you really start panicking, he’ll hug you while reassuringly tell you it’s okay (he doesn’t always help with the indecisiveness though, like my bro how are you so chill about every decision you take)

He could also be of great help with your fear of responsibility, teaching you to have faith in yourself

Loves that you are imaginative, seriously you just brought his schemes up to a whole new level

Also haha chaotic couple, people are either dying of laughter with you guys around or are super confused about your dynamic (or scared who knows)

I get the impression that because Claude is always so immersed in his goals and responsibilities he has, he sometimes forgets to take care of himself, so you being a sort of mom friend would definitely be good for him

Umm also i’m pretty sure Claude loves dogs and animals (he rides a wyvern for christ sakes). He’ll totally take you out on a ride on his wyvern, just soaring across the sky seeing the world

If you’d ever take an interest in Almyran art history or fashion the man will love you forever. Honestly just taking an interest in the Almyran culture, history, etc. Will increase his love tenfold

Ughhh I just stan

Other matches: Ignatz Victor, Petra Macneary

Hope you enjoyed the matchup! If you feel like you weren’t portrayed correctly/I misinterpreted your information let me know and I’ll make the corrections!

[mclunarlove]

1. Top 3 favorite songs at the moment?

Drew Barrymore by Bryce Vine , Prom Dress by mxmtoon, Prom Queen by Beach Bunny and Breathe by Catie Turner. I couldn’t keep it to three.

2. What are you wearing right now?

A small shirt that says Nice with a bee, gym shorts, and orange nike slides

3. Favorite season?

Summer. I’ve been thinking on my a mini comic about why so ppl stop hating on this beautiful season, summmer.

4. Left handed or right handed?

Right handed, my dude

5. Favorite thing you like about yourself?

I really like my hair. I’ve recently dyed it pink.

6. Favorite TV show at the moment?

I’ve been going through a lot of different ones. The good place is well a good one. But recently I’ve when back and watched Danny Phantom. It’s really funny because it only a couple years old but seeing them talk about the internet and phones is hilarious.

7. What are some of your pet peeves?

People being assholes

8. Favorite and least favorite subjects in school?

I love art and don’t love math

9. Plans for the future?

Finally get my driver’s liscense, get a new job, get money, and do art. Also do well in college.

10. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

I really want to go to Tokyo. It just seems really cool.

11. What celebrity do you look up to?

The McElroy family counts as a whole unit.

12. Who/what makes you smile regardless?

Stupid vines or videos. And recently Bakugo from My Hero Academia. What a sweet and spicy boy.

13. Favorite song lyrics?

Currently any lyric from the song Prom Queen by Beach Bunny but I do really like “Maybe I should try harder. You should lower your beauty standards”

14. Favorite movie?

Big hero 6 has like a throne on the list of movies I love

15. What is the worst thing someone could do to you?

I’ll pass.

16. What pets do you have/want to have?

I have a very handsome cat named Beerus and I would love to have a Buffalo.

17. Describe your day today?

Not the best but not the worst.

18. Night owl or morning bird?

Sadly, a night owl. I do admire morning birds greatly tho.

19. Favorite musical artist?

Don’t really have a favorite. But I do like the NBHD, Carly

Rea Jepson, and

20. How old are you?

18 yrs old

21. Where are you from?

Pass

22. What are a few things on your bucket list?

Own a party bus, car surf, get swole, finally nail the Hawaiian summertime dad aesthetic and etc.

23. Do you have/want any tattoos?

I want a couple of small ones. Like a cute bubbly heart, a landscape, and I really want the digimon crests.

24. Do you have/want any piercings?

I would love a lot of piercing on my ears.

25. What do you hate most about yourself?

Pass. I’m trying to love myself. Can’t do this.

26. What does your last text message say?

“ Perish”

27. What would you name your future daughter/son?

I always really like the names Joy and Willis.

28. What are you listening to right now?

“My brother, My brother, and Me” a podcast by the McElroy Brothers.

29. What is the last book you read?

Good Omens......but I still haven’t finished it.

30. Favorite food?

I really like lasagna. And a bunch of different foods but I rarely eat lasagna.

31. Cats or dogs?

Both r very good.

32. Introverted or extroverted?

Introvert, my dude

33. When and why did you first join tumblr?

I first joined in 2014 because I was really into Big Hero 6 even before it came out and this was the only place that was talking about bh6 before it came out. There was like a whole pre-fandom and everything 😂😂

34. Celebrity OTP?

Idk don’t really ship ppl but I do love Ryan and Blake

35. Tv show OTP?

Man, ok now this is a fucking list but the first one that popped into my head is Tododeku.

36. What is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius

37. Lucky number?

7 like a basic bitch

38. Gender?

That a tough one. I don’t know how I feel about gender; especially mine. I will be hella chill with any pronoun but most of the time I identify as a female.

39. What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix?

The good place

40. When is your birthday?

January

41. Where are you from?

Imma be broad so America.

42. If you could, what celebrity would you want to meet?

Adam Sandler

43. Last concert you went to?

Never been to one.

44. What do you think of me/my tumblr account?

Don’t know you but thanks for the question. I’m sure your a cool guy and down for a cool hang.

45. Favorite holiday?

Easter

46. Favorite animal?

Bisons and Buffalos

47. TV you love that’s underrated?

Does digimon count? Ppl usually dunk on me because of Pokémon. I like them both but I GREW up on that digirap

48. What’s your relationship status?

Single. Yup. Surprising no one.

49. What do you want to be/do when you grow up?

Anything to do with media and art at this point.

50. What would you do if you won the lottery?

Pay for college

51. ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT

I’m good but hella thanks for making theses questions @stranger-reviews This was actually really fun. I know I answered a lot of them really short but I didn’t want this to be hella long.

[multapohja966]

All of them (as requested jdkdk) 👀

ahhah thank you!!

(put it under a read more)

1. describe your idea of a perfect datei haven’t really thought about this… i think it’s something involving coffee, but i think having some alone time with the person is important to me.and.. this might be a hilly billy thing but going to some nature place they/me connect to their youth is cool.

2. whats your “type”strong personality and oppinionated is propably the most important. but you have to have a will to think and to a certain extent see all of your oppinions as up for debate. people who do not care about what others think and express themselves how they want!! and i quess i like masculine girls and feminine boys.

3. do you want kids?hmmm… jeah i have sometimes thought of myself as a parent and liked the thought. but it’s such a huge responsobility that i don’t really know what the reality of it would be.

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?hmmm well i already know that i won’t be the one giving birth. i see adoption as a really valid option, but jeah im not that far into considering kids.

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been oni’ve been on an official date like once and it was absolutely awful. but there’s this other time i hung out with this dude i liked and im like 90% sure he liked me too at the time but we were both socially incapable suckers. but jeah we rode our bikes on a summer evening and he showed me the place he goes to when he wants to be alone, which was this solid rock hill that had a view of the biggest swamp i had ever seen. was really dope

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)you come to my virgin jack-off house….

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?night time. i’m so bad at funktionin during the day.

8. opinion on nap dates?haven’t really tried but from ecperience i have with friends i think it’s such a good way to create trust

9. opinion on brown eyes?very nice. especially those almost black ones and that hazel color stuff.

10. dog gay or cat gay?dog gay!!

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?YES!!

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone?not really that experienced with commitment (i love being trans in a small village smh) but propably i just need to know they’re mature enough.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?hmmm idk i didn’t really have much exposion to them but i guess i kinda had this thought they were super different from the people around me? the typical thing bad representation brings.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfbeing something different isn’t bad. you don’t have to compensate being lgbt+ with aggressively being something “normal” for people to not leave you. be nice and appreachable and mature, but you won’t gain anything from trying to please the people who are more easy to digest/”park of the mass”. it won’t work and it’ll be hard to accept that people see fault in even small things, but when you be yourself and express yourself greatly enough with confdence, THEN people will be drawn to you.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?jeah…. i really like men who are like sensitive and skinny and like i hate this but like: beta males (ajndfljns). but in women i adore the basic strong muscular and huge woman with a confident and relaxed nature. i haven’t really thought about a specific type when it comes to nb people. because “stylistic/creative” is a bit too broad

16. who is an ex you regret?hmmm i don’t really think i regret any.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?cafe gay. clubbing is okay sometimes with good company and enough alcohol in my system but if im sober-ish and with some people i hate it. (also i have mostly been to straight clubs  and ffff i don’t fit there at all and it gets bad if i start to think about it)

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forbi..

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?all.

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)uuhhf.. hmmmmm.. bumblebee?

21. favourite gay youtubermiles jai

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?prolly not. but it’s a grey line since i did some romantic shit as femme representing when i was in the trans closet.

23. have you ever been in love?yes. it was such a defining feeling for me

24. have you ever been heartbroken?yeah, but i’m kind of embarrassed by it

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someonethis is something it think about a lot as a trans masc person, but i have always thought that despite my taste in men/masc people and my ideal look often being intertwining (those young artsy gopnik -aesthetic boys are the ideal look for me lol) the feelings of “i want to be like that” and “i want to date that” have always been clearly different for me.

26. favourite lgb musician/banddoes tyler the creator count? because he’s propably an artist i relate to and admire the most. ohhhhh lil peep is the same too. also kevin abstract, he means the world.

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysit’s hard to live in a society that doesn’t always give you the same possibilities because of your identity. but try to see it in a healthy light and compromice only on things that don’t hurt your identity and who you are. you’re allowed to be weird and controversial and it doesn’t matter what people think because it’s them who are shallow and small minded. but remember that things you have to do as a person who’s part of a society need to be taken care of for your own health! :D (and queer excellense heh)

28. are you out? if so how did you come outyes. well.. ACTUALLY i never came out about my sexuality??? i never saw it as necessary. i think my parents know tho, i don’t really think about it. huh.. how weird i didn’t even realise. i’m “out” to almost everyone tho cause im super open about it.

my gender was a more complicated issue. i first came out to my closest friends. then to some friends who weren’t really lgbt+ informed (and they were all so supportive!) then to my mom. then to everyone else in instagram. the last and most hard was my dad, who has always supported me in everything, but isn’t really informed about stuff like that and is the typical old school finnish man. he was supportive too! at the moment the only one who doesn’t know is my grandma.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have coming out to my dad lmao. cause he didn’t know what i mean XDD i thought that in light of resent lgbt+ visibility he would have at least heard about nonbinary people but he just didn’t know so i had to explain and jeahh.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityi have pretty safe surrounding so im not completely sure what i can say.. but from my experience i want to say that despite how it always seems and feels, people are empathetic. people truly are understanding. no person wants harm, we’re all just so confused and misinformed. people will understand and change their ways if you give them your honest self because they are just confused. the most beautiful and supportive words ive gotten in regards to my identity are from a cishet boy in a party, who previously had really toxic and mean perception of nb people, but after i came out to him and we talked about the whole thing. he gave me this whole speech about how i should always be myself and not let anyone give me shit. honestly i get a bit teary sometimes when i think about it. but jea, there’s this raw goodness in people that i often forget exists, but it is there.