#idk i have weird feelings towards my birthday so honestly i just try to keep busy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forestlingincorporated · 3 years

Text

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People.

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them.

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent.

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.)

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction.

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children.

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically.

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation.

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear.

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect.

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?)

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but...

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7.

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.)

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics.

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two.

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about.

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural.

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries.

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance.

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other.

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent.

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart.

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist.

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well.

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child.

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive.

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you.

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt.

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh...

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating?

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting.

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t.

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so.

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet.

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom.

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought.

#Tim Drake #janet drake #jack drake #robin #Red Robin #character analysis

1K notes · View notes

pinkpruneclodwolf · 2 years

Note

I love your analysis on Rook. I really think he's a wolf putting on a sheep's clothes. The sheep outfit is sparkly and glittery though. There's something I've been thinking about recently about the best ways a hunter could evade his prey's attention (It was about a police stakeout but that's off topic. I just felt I had to explain why I was thinking about that so that you wouldn't think I'm Rook disguised as a Tumblr user and I'm hunting you out). Sorry. Anyways, you can either blend in with your surroundings (The most traditional approach) or stand out too much you make your prey think there's no way such a glittery attention catching bird is out for your poor life. Rook stands out much on purpose (The freaking fedora). When someone gives you nothing, you wonder what he is hiding. But when someone gives you a whole staged personality. The art lover & the beauty adorer you think you know him so you don't care much about asking the questions that truly matter.

Also, yesterday I read about Mickey's movie "Thru The Mirror". Which has the Ramshackle dorm based on, and I was surprised that the climax of the film involved the king and queen of hearts. About how Mickey made a pass on the queen so the king fought him and then Mickey defeated the king. It's probably too much but wouldn't it be amazing if the Ramshackle house had a big secret related to that event.

One thing I found interesting and more probable to have been considered in the game's writing is that in the movie, Mickey's soul leaves his body to head through the mirror and find himself in his house but everything in his house has turned crazy.

So, Grim & MC are actually staying in the crazy version of Mickey's house in the movie and he's living beyond the mirror in the normal version.

One last thing, since his birthday is tomorrow, I guess Cater's super villain potential lies in his tendency to make people do the work for him. Feels like a great potential corporate owner torturing his employees to death and enjoying the fruit of their hard work.

My submission yesterday was supposed to be way longer than it was talking about how you changed my view of a story I wrongly thought was superficial and childish and now I can't wait to read Book 3 and get acquainted with Azul's greed, Jade's infuriating calm facade and Floyd's incredible neediness.

I think the reason why Rook feels so one dimensional is because he portrays himself that way Pomefiore represents keep up appearances, and Queen Grimhilde best shows that—

I wanted to go more in depth with my Rook analysis but I deleted and rushed through cause I didn't want it to be deleted again lmaooo. I'm actually planning on doing a Case Closed:Warrant Filed type of analysis where I conclude my ideas about Trey and Rook.

ALSOS I DO NEED TO CATCH UP ON SOME READING THO

I kinda showed a more sympathetic Cater because he usually hides his villainy in plain sight—when making the first years paint the roses, trying to worm his way out of situations (Ace come get ur brother) and the like—and since no one can truly get mad at him he kinda just exploits it.

Maybe you could make him more nonchalant towards others feelings because he's so disconnected?? Maybe a bit passive towards violence even with the slight tweaking to his personality after the events of Chap 1.

Mickey might be trapped in the mirror as Yuu and Grim possibly took his place in twst, I think there was movie or episodic DVD set about Mickey exploring a world like twst but idk I need to catch up honestly—

That kingdom hearts hame kinda rotted my brain to other Mickey crossover villain stories—

Also, I can't believe I changed your perception of the game???? I'm just some random spouting weird ideas on the net bc I cannot cope with the real world around me lol (Cater is me, I am Cater).

At first I thought the game was kinda superficial and so I took it at face value but the amount of loose ends they leave (the potential of Trey's power, Rook, Jade) kinda had me looking deeper—thru the looking glass if you catch my drift.

I can't wait to see your other theories!!!!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst theory #scream into the void and i'll answer #@ano kata

21 notes · View notes

pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

Text

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt.3

Ok, full disclosure: I should not be doing this right now. But I've been thinking about it since yesterday and, well, I reckon I can go over 1x4 and 5, and then move on to my actual work. So here we are. I'm really, really excited for these two, so without further ado, I'll dive right into:

1x4: It's hard to believe that I couldn't see... the majority of what happens in this episode when I first watched it

Why is Nini such a pro at making a scene with whoever her current boyfriend is in the middle of a public place? I mean, I get it that she's upset about EJ going through her phone — who wouldn't be — but maybe - and this is just a friendly suggestion — she could try and discuss that in private, not start a shouting match within view of all their classmates. Just saying.

'Ricky would never steal my phone' — well, perhaps not, but he's not quite above deleting stuff from it, either... I wonder if whoever is writing this show knows that there are many other ways to make a relationship unhealthy... it's not funny anymore. Just repetitive.

Ahhh Natalie and her emotional support hamster! At least there's one good thing about this scene.

Sure, Ricky, blame Big Red for the fact that you misplace your stuff... a very nice best friend he's got, indeed.

Gosh, everything is so awkward and there is just so much tension all over the place — Ricky's parents, then EJ and Nini, and then Carlos just being oblivious to the fact that they just broke up... you know, that last part just made me laugh. And then Ricky's reaction to his parents legally separating just broke my heart. That boy's been through too much.

Big Red being completely clueless about theatre terms is super funny and endearing, but let me just put myself in his shoes for a sec. He's followed his best friend into a badly thought-out scheme to get back together with his ex, got dragged into joining the crew, and is now expected to know what everything is. I would not put up with that... ok, who are we kidding, I'm a massive pushover and would put up with anything, but my point is... he shouldn't have to. At least people are doing the bare minimum to help him learn and nobody's laughed at him for not knowing. That's the good thing about this crew.

Ok, so I have posted about my thoughts of their take on What I've Been Looking For before, back when the episode was brand new, so I won't go into detail about that. In short, I think they've got the arrangement all wrong considering that it is a plot point in the original movie, but... the execution is funny. The scene is about Nini and EJ's post-breakup tension and it shows. I just kind of wish now Miss Jenn had pulled Nini out and put Gina in, even just for this rehearsal — and I might or might not be saying this as a Portwell shipper.

Miss Jenn is done with the students' personal drama and honestly, I'm right behind her. These kids are being completely unprofessional — and well, I realise that we can't expect them to be professional at this stage, but... they could at least try to concentrate on rehearsal and not their personal lives for a second.

Ricky hugging a cushion is my spirit animal. That's it, that's the comment.

Ahhh the tension between EJ and Gina though... 'around here seniors don't follow sophomores' — well, we'll see how it goes, Mr. Senior.

What gives Nini the right to shout at strangers about their relationship? I am honestly so frustrated with her these days. Wonder why I never was during season 1. The reasons are all there.

'He loves you' — yeah, like a little sister, he does. Also, Ash is so precious, always trying to see the good in other people. EJ 1.0 is so lucky he had her as an example.

Ok, I'm not going to go into what an amazing best friend Big Red is because we all know that (plus I'm saving it for a certain scene in 1x5), but this must be so hard for him. I mean, he's trying his absolute best to help Ricky feel better and distract him from his problems, and Ricky is turning everything down. I mean, I guess I understand where he's coming from too, but I'm unable to look at things through the lead-centric lens alone anymore. I'm more aware of non-lead characters now (some more so than others) and this is putting a whole new spin on my perception of everything that happens.

I've got no idea how Big Red can sleep with all this noise, though. I could never. But to each their own.

'perfect on paper' — that's EJ 1.0 to a T. I've got to give Nini that.

Ricky wearing the pride t-shirt... we love to see it.

See, this is why I keep forgetting why I ever shipped Rini and then remembering again... their chemistry is just so on-again-off-again, and here it's definitely present, but I just need a couple with consistent chemistry, you know. Hey, isn't that kind of what All I Want is about? Kind of. I don't know. I've been unable to listen to that song ever since it got big irl. I have this... problem with media that becomes popular and mainstream... I mean, I never hold a grudge against things just for being popular, but I just... relate to underrated stuff much easier. Not because it's underrated, but it just so happens that nearly everything I like and relate to is underrated in some capacity. Even HSMTMTS itself — it's practically unheard of here in Bulgaria, so I would not have found it if I hadn't been looking for it specifically. Ok, this comment got derailed several times. I guess I'll just stop here and move right on to 1x5 at this point.

1x5: A bedazzled tablecloth, a perfectly balanced unicycle and bad reception at the barn... not the perfect ingredients, but they can still... Work This Out

'Miss Jenn says that's a life in the arts... well, that and almost constant unemployment' — alright, I know this line is not supposed to be funny, and that it's a painful reality for a lot of people, but... maybe it's the delivery. I just laugh every time.

See, this is what I mean when I say I want to see consistent chemistry — Seblos have it. I mean, I really don't want to jinx things, but... they do.

Big Red seems to be in a more... outspoken mood today, I guess you could say. Too bad Ricky is still shutting everything he says down. Seriously, Big Red and Seb should start a club for people who try their best to be there for their loved ones and still keep being shushed.

I might be super frustrated with nearly everything Nini says and does (can somebody please tell me why that is?), but... flushing her dress down the toilet? Major mood.

Listen, I love Miss Jenn and that she's close to her students, but... emerging from a toilet cubicle and inviting herself to Kourtney and Nini's girls' night was... Will Shuester level of questionable.

Ricky being the mature one about his parents separation is... I mean, it's admirable, but how did he move past the impending depression of last episode and towards being the one who tells his dad to get up and move on? Well, I mean, good for him. But I think the issue is far from buried yet.

'Friend of the year'? Ricky? I don't think so. First of all, if he were, he'd know that Big Red does not have two left feet. Wasn't it you, Ricky, who was stumbling over the steps in HSM a couple of weeks ago? You're one to talk. Plus Big Red's been listening and trying to help while you've just been spouting off about your personal problems for... how long has it been now? I get it, Ricky has issues that he needs to work through, but he's almost legally blind in both eyes when it comes to Big Red.

Ok, but Ricky is the epitome of 'cannot solve his own problems but has a suggestion on how everybody else should solve theirs' in this episode. Maybe take a step back and listen to your own advice?

'My parents think I'm bonding with the livestock' — I've got no idea why I find this line so funny, but I do. And I've got so much love for this entire scene. Carlos' reaction to Seb's response to his invitation is just... the most adorable thing ever! My heart might just burst. Especially given what we're about to go through tomorrow in 2x10... I am. Not. Ready.

The entire karaoke scene just reminds me of... pretty much every extended family reunion on my mum's side. Her cousins love karaoke and are also completely tone-deaf. I love it that they're able to have fun with it, but my ears are still recovering from my great aunt's birthday party two years ago.

'When did you become Nini?' — Why does Mr. Mazzara know so much about his students' dating lives? I mean, Miss Jenn does, too, but he doesn't strike me as someone as invested in them as her. Idk, it just struck me as kind of weird.

'I didn't agree to photos' — please, EJ, I'm sure you'll want memories from your first fake-dating gig with Gina... once you're no longer fake-dating, you know. Boy, these two are going to have stories to tell to their grandchildren.

I've said some stuff about Nini, but... 'a bedazzled tablecloth' is the funniest description I've heard for Gina's homecoming dress.

'Maybe it's not actually about you at all.' Yeah, you tell him, Reddy! Ricky needs to get over himself.

The way Big Red sniffs out the drama, though... I was not-so-randomly reminded of that moment in 2x9 where Seb was like Carlos. and Big Red was like, 'Are you guys fighting?'...

Big Red doing a comedic lip-reading of Gina and EJ's dramatic scene is absolutely hilarious. I might or might not have sold my heart and soul to him after seeing that scene for the first time. But I just remembered how he said earlier that maybe he can't read lips and that just makes this 100% funnier — he was basically like a child who can't read yet making up a story based on the pictures in a book, and I mean it in the best way possible. He's a theatre dark horse, this one, and they should all be intimidated — or inspired, whatever they choose — by his hidden talents. Gosh, I love this guy. But can you blame me?

'You think I'm actually going to confide in you?' — Absolutely. You can't bully someone from your position of authority over them and then act like you're their friend. I do know now that Mr. Mazzara has hidden depths, but he had no right to be as rude to Carlos as he was in 1x3. He was right about one thing, though — Carlos doesn't need a dance partner to dance.

Ricky saying he was going to apologise to Gina and counting that as an apology is giving me major TJ/ Buffy flashbacks. I wonder why that is... * sarcasm *

Nini feeling like a fraud makes me actually sympathise with her for a second. But I feel like Nini's flaw of defining herself through boys and Ricky in particular has been addressed one time too many now, since it was first addressed here in this episode. If they make her and Ricky get back together again in season 2, I will riot. [side note: I feel like the Born to Be Brave scene says a lot about both Rini and Seblos as couples. Nini and Carlos both feel, in the moments leading up to the song, like they are incomplete without their partners. Ricky, too, has built his personality entirely around Nini at that time (and is still not completely over that in s2). And then the song comes in to remind them that they don't need a partner to be happy. I'm just thinking of Big Red's 'perfectly balanced unicycle' comment from the promotional materials, and of how he and Ashlyn, even when they're dating in s2, are never portrayed as being incomplete without each other. I guess there's a reason why they're the Beta Couple of the show — their relationship drama is nearly non-existent, and when it does exist, it's just caused by them caring too much about each other. Every other couple on the show should learn from them.]

Everybody supporting Carlos during the Born to Be Brave number just warms my heart so much... I am actually crying real tears. And then the end, when Seb finally shows up, right in time for the slow dance... I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

Seblos' dialogue here still kind of makes me cringe a little... but like, in a good way.

Yikes... Miss Jenn's getting into trouble... I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But she's lucky she's had enough time with her students for them to love her enough to fight for her. Still, this is a topic for another episode, and so I won't expand on it in this post.

Well, that's it. That was 1x4 and 5. Those were pretty much my favourite episodes when season 1 was airing. And I can definitely see why, even if my views on some things have changed due to stuff that happens later. But, as I constantly say, that's what rewatches are for. In other words, 'once more, with feeling this time' as my choir director used to say.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: the rewatch #nini salazar-roberts #ricky bowen #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara #rini #seblos #redlyn #portwell #jnk

19 notes · View notes

procrastinatorimagines · 4 years

Text

Helping Hand

Fandom: The Originals / The Vampire Diaries

Characters: Reader, Elijah,

Warning/s: none

Word Count: 4,171

Request: Hi! Can I get an imagine where the reader is a teenager (about 16) who has powers and she learns that Elijah Mikaelson has a necklace that belonged to her ancestor that will allow her to keep her powers under control and asking him for help?

hey ,can u write something with elijah???? love your blog

Summary: The reader moves to New Orleans with her family after her grandmother dies, leaving them with a large property and inheritance. But the reader also starts to develop powers, powers she cannot control, not without the help of Elijah Mikaelson.

Note: I’ve had this first request buried in my drafts for a very long time, I don’t even still have the actual request anymore so idk who sent it but here it is

Your magic was... volatile, to say the least. They’d started to show themselves last year, around the time your family had moved to New Orleans, but despite your best efforts, you were still unable to keep them under much control. It felt like there was a well of power deep inside of you, but no matter how far you reached, you’d yet to find the end.

You longed to reach the end of your power, to finally know your limits. By understanding what you were capable of, maybe you could begin to learn to control barely contained power within. It was a miracle your family hadn’t found out yet, especially given the whole you’d accidentally made in the back wall of the house, but as much as you wanted to tell them, you didn’t know how they would react.

The timing of your powers couldn’t have been a coincidence, at first you’d thought it was related to your age maybe, did 15 mean something magical? You obviously had no idea, but the longer you were in New Orleans, you started to realise that that wasn’t the case. Your estranged grandmother had died last year, you’d only met her once as a baby and your mother never talked about her, but she’d left behind a massive estate and inheritance in New Orleans, and following the divorce from your father, your mother had decided maybe it was a good chance for a fresh start. So she’d packed you and your younger twin brothers up, ripping you away from your lives, friends, everything you’d ever known, and taken you to the Crescent City.

It had been an adjustment, especially with the added problems of your powers. Needless-to-say, discovering you had magic was a shock, a big one. At first you thought you were dreaming, or seeing things, but eventually you’d accepted that this was real... and you should really plant a few trees to make up for the damage you’d accidentally done to the ones on the edge of your property line.

That’s where you were now, headphones on, beads of sweat on your brow as you tried to concentrate your magic at a single tree stump about ten metres away from you. Taking slow breaths you listened to the beat of the music pumping in your ears, letting all else slip away as you felt that familiar opening inside of you, leading to the well of magic you could feel stirring in anticipation. It always gave you a bit of a rush when you started, but you had to be careful you didn’t dive in too quickly.

Too much too fast was your problem, and you’d spent many, many... many, frustrating days trying to master it. You were sure there was a better way, maybe an instruction manual? But who could you ask, New Orleans may have been full of stores and stalls promising knowledge of the occult and the supernatural, but nothing had seemed to do you any good. Parlour tricks mostly, so you were alone.

Feeling that familiar build up of power, you yet again tried to steady it, tried to send a concentrated blast only. You felt your hands tingle, then warm, focusing intently as you felt sweat drip down the side of your face. Almost there...

A bird landed on the tree stump, catching you off guard as it cawed, stretching its wings but refusing to move. At the last second you threw your hands to the side, a blast of power flying into a nearby tree as you tried to reign it back in.

“Damn it!” You swore, clenching your hands into fists and pulling them to your sides as you stared wide eyes at the giant smouldering hole in the tall tree, the creaking and groaning sound it was making as it began to splinter at the break.

You took a slight step back, casting a dirty look at the black bird still perched on the stump as it watched you, regarding you with a more curious look than you were comfortable with. A loud snapping sound caused you to look back to the tree, now unable to support the weight on top as it began to topple.

“Crap...” you mumbled, pulling your headphones down to your neck as you watched it start to fall slowly. Not again, you thought as it fell, crashing into another tree before falling back and slamming into the ground.

You stared at it in stunned silence for a minute, glad you were too far out for anyone to have heard. The bird let out a small noise, still watching you, seemingly unaffected by the sound of the toppling tree. “What are you looking at?” You demanded, the bird cocking its head like it was listening, “this is your fault,” you told it, pointing to the mess behind it.

The black bird actually turned its head, looking to the tree before turning back to you, cawing and flying off over your head. You ducked as it flew past you, wind blowing your hair. Well... that was weird, but honestly, talking to a bird was probably the least strange thing that had happened to you recently.

So with a shrug you turned on your heels, grabbing your school bag and heading back down the overgrown path you always followed back to your house, checking your watch to make sure you wouldn’t miss the bus. Your 16th birthday had been a few days ago, and the balloons your mother had insisted on putting up on the railings of your front porch were still flying as you appeared out of the clearing in the woods.

Your brother’s were waiting by the road as you picked up your pace, noticing the school bus turning down the end of your road and heading to where the boys were stood. “Cutting it close,” one of your brothers, JJ, commented as you rolled your eyes, ignoring him and Nick as you rifled in your bag for your pass, finding it just as the bus pulled up and the doors opened.

You sat away from your brothers once you got on, headphones back on as you thought about how you were ever going to get a hang of your powers.

The rest of your school day when like it usually did, you went to class, did your work, ate lunch alone, and researched magic whenever you had some free time. You’d had losts of friends back home, but being the new girl struggling to control dangerous powers didn’t leave you with much opportunity to be anything other than the loner who talked to the librarian more than any of the other kids.

Your brothers fit in just fine, and the party your mother had been expecting to throw you over the weekend had been embarrassingly empty, so now she was worried about you. Great, another thing you had to worry about.

Thankfully, your magic hadn’t really ever acted up at school, expect in gym once or twice, but nothing too noticeable. Heightened emotions seemed to make it worse, and the boredom you felt at school seemed to subdue it the most.

After school you debated getting the bus home with JJ and Nick, but your mom was working until late so you decided to walk into the city instead, trying your luck again at one of the supposedly magic stores or stalls, you never knew, maybe someone might actually be able to help you.

It was a warm day, even into the afternoon as you strolled along the crowded streets. Okay, you actually liked New Orleans, the people, the buildings, the atmosphere, you felt like you could disappear here. If you hadn’t come into uncontrollable powers when you’d moved here... well, things would be very different.

You ended up walking through the French Quarter, definitely lost but not caring too much, you’d just use your phone to find the best way home when it got a little later. You were so lost in your music and surroundings that it took you a while to realise you were being followed.

It felt like a cold breeze on the back of your neck, like your magic warning you of danger. But there was so many people arround that you wouldn’t have been able to tell who was following you even if you saw them, so you picked up your pace.

That feeling didn’t leave, cold going down your spine as you weaved your way through the crowds of people milling about the square. You probably would have thought you were paranoid, but you’d learned enough to not doubt your magic right now.

Spotting a side street you slipped down it, only realising once you were half way down that it was a dead end. You quickly tried to double back, heart pounding as you turned to see a man at the end of the way, blocking your exit.

He was a sharp dressed man, black suit crisp as he leaned against the cool shaded bricks on the wall, hands in his pockets, regarding you with a cool but intrigued gaze. There was something... off about him, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on as your magic buzzed in you with warning.

“Hello there,” he said casually, pushing himself up off the wall and strolling towards you, hands still in his pockets. He didn’t look threatening, but there was something in his eyes that made you want to run, but where?

“H-Hello,” you got out, not doing well to pretend you weren’t scared as the man smirked at you. There was a lot of times over the past year where you wished you didn’t have magic, this however, wasn’t one of them. You’d never used your power on another person before, but the more scared you got, the more you could feel it burning in your core, ready to burst out to defend you if needed.

“I’m Elijah,” he introduced himself, British accent clear as he slowly spoke the words. Was he expecting you to introduce yourself? Stranger Danger 101, you were not giving this man your name. He seemed to realise that when you didn’t respond, but he didn’t seem offended. “Very well, I apologise for startling you, but you looked like somebody I knew once.”

“We’ve never met,” you replied, you were sure you would have remembered this well dressed individual.

“No...” Elijah mused outloud, “no I suppose we haven’t, a relative maybe?” The only relative you knew in the city was your late grandmother, you supposed your mother had lived here, but not for the better part of 20 years.

“I don’t think so,” you answered, itching to get away. He seemed to register this, but he still seemed curious about you. What was this guys deal? You scrunched your fists at your side, palms warm with power, your fight or flight response sounding alarm bells in your head as your power threatened to spill out.

He took another step towards you, glancing down at your hands like he knew what was going on inside of you. Was that possible? You knew that you couldn’t be the only one in the world with power like this, but still...

“I have to go now,” you told him quickly, trying to simply quickly walk past him back to the crowded street, determined to get home as you regretted not just getting the bus with your siblings.

“On second,” he said, just as you passed him, hand reaching out to grab your arm. As you as he touched you, you exploded.

It happened so fast, one second you were trying to twist out of his grasp, the next a blast of energy had sent him down the street. Breathing heavily, your heart pounding in chest, you didn’t look back to see what you had just done, instead all but running out on the street and making your way back home.

What had you just done?

You made it home before your mom, ignoring your brothers questions about where you had been as you ran up the stairs two at a time and into your bedroom, slamming your door shut and locking it. Only when you heard your lock click into place did you let out a shaky breath and try to relax, leaning against the back of the door and sinking to the floor. Your mind was racing as you tried to process what had just happened.

Had you killed him? You didn’t think so, you hoped not, but he had provoked you, scared you, it had been out of your control the second he’d put his hand on your arm. What were you going to do now?

You groaned and wiped your hands over your face, exhausted and drained. You just needed to think. Reluctantly pulling yourself up you went into your bathroom to take a shower. Every bedroom in this house seemed to have it’s own bathroom, what your grandmother did alone in this place was beyond you.

The water was scolding as you slipped in, but you didn’t care, standing there for a long time as it poured down your face and body, eyes glued to your hands as you thought about the power they contained, the power you possessed.

Your eyes drifted to the pale blue wall tiles, you grandmother had had most of the house redecorated before she died, she’d been sick for a while apparently, but your mom had never told you any of that. This was the room she’d decorated for you, the one she’d instructed you to take in the will, and you had to admit, she’d done a damn good job of decorating it to your taste. Eerily good, considering you weren’t exactly doing much talking the one time you’d met her.

She’d left you a note too, on the bed when you’d entered. Old people rambling about how you had more potential than you realised, you were special and important and she wished she was there with you... You hadn’t thought much about it at first, but a part of you kept going back to those words in your mind, had she meant this? Had she known?

It seemed crazy, but there had been something not right about that man, Elijah, something cold and... not human? If he had known your grandmother, maybe he would have had more answers about what was going on with you?

With a sigh you finally turned off the water, drying yourself off as you thought about your grandmother alone in this big old house. As you did you walked over the creaky floorboard outside the bathroom door and paused, leaning back on your heel and making it squeek again. You shook your head, thinking you must be reading too much into everything that had happened to you. But as you stepped off of it and listened to it creak again you let out a defeated breath, what the hell, why not? You thought, kneeling down and prying at the sides of the board.

To your slight surprise it budged, were you really looking for hidden compartments in your room? But your grandmother had left it to you, if your suspicions about her were correct, maybe she’d left you more than you realised. She did, you realised as you got the board free, a dusty box beneath it. This was crazy.

Taking it out you set it on your dresser and got dressed, eyes barely leaving to box until you tentatively tried the latch, it didn’t have a lock on it so you carefully lifted up the old lid, revealing a leather bound book within. It looked like an old-timey journal as you slowly pulled it out, your magic buzzing at the touch. What was this?

You went to sit on your bed, book on your lap as you opened the first page, careful not to tear the pages as you did, it felt fragile but it was definitely well worn, the spine was basically coming apart. The language inside looked like it was mostly... Latin? Maybe, you hadn’t exactly studied it in school, but there were annotations in the margins in English, fresher than the original text, the handwriting appearing to match the writing in your grandmother’s letter.

The more you flipped through the pages, skimming passages and trying to understand illustrations, the more you thought this was a spellbook of some kind. You assumed that was a thing anyway, especially with your grandmother’s notes.

“Y/N!” A knock on your door had you slamming the book shut probably a little too hard and rushing to put it away, your mother calling you from the otherside.

“Yeah?” You called back, frantically trying to replace the floor board, barely managing to as she entered, uniform on as she look at you, on your knees n the floor. “Dropped by earring,” you lied with ease and she believed you, it’s not like she’d have believed the truth anyway.

“I’ll have dinner ready in 20, okay?” She smiled and you nodded, standing back up, “how was school?”

“Eh same old,” you told her, deliberately not mentioning your strange encounter with Elijah, she’d freak out if she knew, and you didn’t want her involved in any of this.

“Okay, could you set the table when you come down?” She asked and you nodded again, more than eager for her to leave your room.

She did after that and you breathed a sigh of relief, you couldn’t be doing any of this in the house, you’d go out into the woods again with the book tomorrow, maybe it was time for a new approach to your magical problem. You just hoped the answers you were looking for had been right under your nose, or feet, the entire time.

It was a quiet morning as you made your way down the familiar walkway into the woods, switching into autopilot as you stepped over the roots and stones you had been avoiding nearly everyday for the better part of a year.

You’d tried to sleep last night, but your mind was wide awake, thoughts of that book swirling around in your mind until you finally caved and switched on your lamp, reading through the pages until you’d eventually fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning, book in hand.

It had been eye opening. Vampires, werewolves, witches... well, you were a witch then, but the fact that the others existed too was nearly too much, your brain becoming so overloaded with new information you barely thought was possible. You’d fallen asleep at a chapter on New Orleans, the different factions there and information on the ‘Original Family’ that had once ruled, the name Elijah Mikaelson had caught your eye, was it the same Elijah you’d met yesterday? It would explain a few things, but it didn’t exactly make you feel any better.

You made it to the area you had been the previous morning, the fallen tree a reminder that you really needed to get your powers under control. You sat on the stump you’d been trying to blast yesterday and pulled the book out of your bag, a torn piece of homework bookmarking a page with a spell you’d decided to test out. It seemed simple enough, and this far into the woods you only had to worry about the damage to the trees, which was nothing new when it came to your magic.

Leaving the book open on the correct page you stood back up, focusing your breathing as you held out your hands, facing the fallen tree as you reached down into that familiar well of power. But instead of firing blindly like you usually did, you now had a spell that you hoped would at least concentrate the energy.

“Motus,” you said when you were ready, feeling your power blast out of your hands, absolutely shattering the tree you had previously felled... along with a handfull of others in the vacinity.

“No, no, no,” you muttered. It hadn’t worked, you’d just wanted to hit the one tree, now what were you supposed to do?

You were so lost in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed that you weren’t alone, jumping and whirling around when you heard a twig snap behind you. Suddenly you found yourself face to face with Elijah.

“Impressive, uncontrolled and reckless, but impressive nonetheless,” he commented, standing there in a suit as crisp as he had worn yesterday, seemingly unaffected by the blast you’d sent into his chest at your previous encounter.

“How...?” You stammered, looking around to see where he had come from all of a sudden, what your grandmother’s book had said about Elijah the Original ringing in your mind as you faced him.

“I’m a vampire,” he told you, waiting for your reaction, “so you know what I am then?” He asked when you didn’t flinch.

“I did some reading last night,” you said honestly and he glanced down at where you’d left the book open on the tree stump, recognition flashing in his eyes.

“I can see that,” he noted, wandering over to the book. You wanted to stop him as he reached it, but your feet were firmly planted. What did he want now? “My apologies for yesterday by the way, you just looked so much like your grandmother that I let my curiosity get the better of me, I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“How did you know her?” You asked and he smiled, like he was thinking of fond memories.

“She was one of the oldest witches in New Orleans, most went to her for guidance, she had a gift of sight you see, I went to her from time to time as well, her passing was tragic,” he explained, “how long have you known?”

“Well I found the book yesterday so since then really,” you admitted.

He looked at you in confusion, “but you powers...?”

“Yeah I’ve had those since I moved here, but I never really knew what they were, or how to use them,” you elaborated.

“I can see that,” he said with a nod to the destruction behind you. You looked down sheepishly, embarrassed by your lack of control after so long.

“You know, your grandmother had the same problem,” he began, your head shooting back up to face him, finding that very hard to believe after what he’d just told you about her. “It’s true,” he insisted, noting your hesitation to believe him, “the witches in your family are born with an immense amount of power, more than most could handle, which is why she wore this, to channel that energy and take control,” as he finished he held out his hand, an amulet dropping from it.

“What is that?” You asked him, drawn closer by the power radiating from the small half moon hanging from his index finger. It looked old, but it also felt oddly familiar in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

“It belonged to your ancestors, passed down from generation to generation since before my family even reached these shores in the early 18th century, your grandmother gave it to me for safe keeping, so it could be given to you,” he told you and you shelved the comment about the 18th century away for another time, your eyes unable to leave the amulet as Elijah held out his hand, offering it to you.

“Can I?” You reached out for it slowly and he nodded, letting you take it. It felt cold in your palm, so different from the heat you always felt when you were using your power. Elijah offered to fasten it for you and he did, a sense of calm and clarity washing over you as soon as he fastened the clasp and stepped back.

“Try it now,” he suggested and it took you a second to realise he meant the spell. You swallowed, here went nothing.

Turning until you found a target you held out your hand, your well of magic seemingly contained by the amulet, a smaller opening available to you now as you whispered, “motus,” and sent a beam of energy into a nearby tree branch.

Usually, the whole tree would have been blown apart at least, but you your surprise and delight, only the branch was sent flying off. You’d done it.

Smiling you turned back to Elijah, “thank you,” you breathed, hand going to the amulet around your throat.

“Of course, I gave your grandmother my word that I’d help you when the time came, but I’ll admit, family matters kept me from even checking to see if you’d arrived in the city,” he admitted, “for that I’m sorry, but if you’d let me, I’d like to help you now, it’s the least I could do for your grandmother.”

Although you barely knew this strange man, this vampire, he seemed genuine and it’s not like you really had many other options. So you straighten up and nodded. “Where do we begin?”

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaires #elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah mikaelson imagine #the originals imagine #elijah mikaelson imagines #the originals imagines #the vampire diaries imagine #the vampire diaries imagines #elijah mikaelson one shot #the originals one shot #the vampire diaries one shot #one shot

219 notes · View notes

meridiansdominoes · 4 years

Text

Showers of Starlight

Incoming blyla incoming blyla incoming blyla

This issssss the sequel to ‘Catch the Rain’ that was posted a few weeks ago! @thatfunkyopossum HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR MY FAVORITE <3

(this is like, 6k words?? Is that okay to post in this weird tumblr format?? It’s gonna be mad long... well idk,,, but here it is anyway on ao3 too in case you don’t want to destroy ur dash with a long post heh

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758554

Aayla finds her Commander standing out on the little balcony, dressed in civilian clothes and staring out into the city. Night turns Coruscant into an endless sea of luminescence. Air lanes become lines of shooting stars pressing onward in the darkness. Skyscrapers around them glow with the light of thousands of residents inside, creating trails of brilliance that ascend up towards the black sky.

By the time Aayla arrives at the complex that serves as the temporary housing for her officers while they’re on leave, the sun has disappeared from the sky, and she’s mentally exhausted. A full report to the Jedi Council takes effort and energy that she has to fight to produce, but she is required to give her debriefing before she can get some rest herself. She’s relieved that it’s over now, but there are still a few things to take care of. Her men need to be fully settled, otherwise Aayla won’t be able to sleep well tonight. She knows that Bly will take care of things, but she needs to verify their wellbeing for herself for her own peace of mind. Here on Coruscant they’re finally safe, and she has to remind herself of that somehow.

Though visiting Bly to check on the men isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If anything the thought makes some of her exhaustion leave her as she steps into the lift that will take her up to her Commander’s quarters. The journey upwards is smooth and quick. When the doors open on the correct floor, Aayla steps out and immediately finds one of her officers in the hallway, clad only in his blacks.

“General!” Captain Brine says in surprise, blue eyes widening. He snaps off a quick salute automatically. The effect is dampened slightly by the pillow he has tucked under his other arm. “What are you—oh. Looking for the Commander?”

Aayla nods. “Are you well, Captain?”

Brine shrugs.

“Well enough, sir. It’s a bit odd to not be on the ship, but the rooms are nice. Though the pillows leave a lot to be desired. I had to go find myself a new one.”

Aayla huffs out a tiny laugh.

“I’ll take your word for it, Brine. Could you direct me to Bly’s room?”

“The last one on the left, sir,” Brine answers without hesitation. He meets her gaze carefully, something unreadable flashing across his face. “He’ll try to keep working instead of getting some rest like he should. Maybe you can help him where I can’t.”

Aayla blinks at her Captain, but before she can fully make sense of the words Brine is already retreating towards his own room. He closes his door behind him, leaving Aayla alone in the hallway. She sighs and makes her way to the end of the hall until she stands in front of the very last door on the left.

It isn’t locked. The door slides open when she knocks lightly on the durasteel. She steps inside. The rooms that Brine had described as ‘nice’ are small and spartan in design. Nice is not the word Aayla would have used, but they’re a step up from the barracks to her men. There are three tiny spaces all hooked together—a small reception area, a tiny unused kitchen, and an even tinier bedroom. Aayla can see through the entire apartment.

Bly is nowhere in sight, although his armor is neatly stacked on the table in the little kitchen. Aayla hesitates for a moment, confused, until she notices the transperisteel door flung open against the far wall. Cream colored floor-length curtains hide the actual doorway from view. She makes her way through the apartment and pushes the curtains aside.

Coruscant is far too polluted for its inhabitants to see the stars that stretch above them through the smog. For some residents, the brilliant night is the closest they will ever get to seeing space around them. It is beautiful, in its own way. From the balcony of Bly’s window it seems as if he is poised on the edge of a glittering nebula, watching the colors swirl in hypnotic patterns and glitter quietly in the dark.

Bly is framed by the ambient light of the city. Aayla allows herself to just watch him for a nanosecond. She can’t see his face, but the light plays off of his tan skin in such a flattering way that she can’t avert her gaze. There’s a datapad in one of his hands. She raps lightly on the wall to alert him to her presence. He turns a little too fast, free hand jerking down to his side for a weapon that isn’t there right now. Once he’s seen her, he stiffens a little bit into a loose attention. One eyebrow raises slowly.

“General?”

Aayla doesn’t respond immediately, mostly because her brain stalls as she finally takes full stock of what he’s wearing.

He’s dressed in a loose white shirt with a low neckline that reveals his collarbone and the hint of a gold tattoo over his chest that disappears under the fabric. Her eyes pause on the smooth skin of his neck before she forces herself to drop her gaze—but that just makes things worse, because without the usual armor smoothing out the lines of his body she can see every muscle in his arms. His biceps are... impressive. She spends a moment just... drinking it in, because who knows if she’ll ever get to see this ever again. The tight black pants completing his outfit certainly don’t help her concentration.

Bly coughs suddenly. She glances back up to look him in the eyes. Now that she’s already thinking about such details, it’s hard to stop. The splashes of gold against the slant of his cheekbones is distinctly alluring. Aayla struggles to pull her thoughts out of the downward spiral and grimaces inwardly. She’s left him standing there for a heartbeat longer than necessary. She quirks one lek in a hasty greeting.

“At ease, Commander. I just wanted to ask you if the last of the reports have come in yet.” Aayla steps out onto the balcony to join him. She does, in fact, have the self-control necessary to keep her gaze from roving across his exposed skin this time, as tempting as it is.

Bly’s body language loosens. He leans against the railing again and taps at his datapad, scrolling through a list of reports. She can see tiny pinpricks of light reflected from the city skyline in his eyes. Aayla settles herself against the railing next to him as well, content to wait as he runs through his mental checklists.

She reaches out with the Force and grounds herself against his presence. It’s always bright and soothing and mellow to her in a way that she’s never felt before, not even among Jedi. She’s drawn to it. Today his mind is smooth, pulsing gently with peace and relief to finally be on leave. It’s rare that she gets to feel him in that state of mind. Bly is always concerned about something—about the men, about a campaign, about hyperspace routes, about shipping documents… about her.

Perhaps he thinks he is subtle, but Aayla sees far more than he realizes.

She notices when his gaze lingers on her, when he hesitates with his mouth hanging open as if he wants to speak before closing it and marching stiffly away. She notices when he bristles with anger and places himself between her and the foolish males that do not see the lightsaber in favor of inspecting her curves. She notices the fleeting smiles that cross his face when he thinks that she isn’t looking.

She wonders if he’s ever noticed the similar expressions that cross her own face.

There has been an odd tension in the Force lately. It’s a steady buzz, just present enough to nag at her as if ordering her to pay attention to something. It doubles whenever she speaks with her commander. Aayla thinks that she understands why now. Perhaps. Tonight is as good a night as any to either confirm or dispute her theory… if she is brave enough. If she is wise about how she approaches the subject.

It’s a risk, but it’s one that she’s willing to take. Determination floods her veins.

Bly sighs and looks up from the datapad with a nod of approval.

“I’ve got every report, sir. We’re good to go. I’ve even got the ship’s maintenance schedule here.” He grins wryly. “If only it were like this every time. The crew have sent all the records to me quicker than usual so that they can be off duty faster.”

Aayla chuckles.

“It would spare you a large amount of stress, at the very least,” she comments in amusement. Bly rolls his eyes.

“Force forbid,” he mutters. There’s something so easy about standing next to him, about the civilian clothing, about the casual conversation. Aayla feels a strange pang of jealousy. How easy would all of this be if they weren’t soldiers, if she were not a Jedi? She’s never doubted her purpose before, but Bly is the catalyst for many such thoughts.

Bly lifts his free hand to rub at his face. She glimpses a line of gold curling up his arm, disappearing into his sleeve. She reaches out to touch it without even thinking, brushing her fingers along the line and marvelling at how his something that should feel metallic and cold under her hand is warm and soft instead. She traces the tattoo higher, stopping just before she reaches the barrier of his sleeve. Part of her wants to follow it further. The thought abruptly makes her mouth go dry.

“It suits you,” Aayla tells him honestly. He freezes up. For an instant, she feels muscles bunching under his skin. She pulls her hand away quickly, afraid that she’s crossed a line, and reaches out with the Force to check if she’s offended him in any way. Perhaps the tattoo is in memory of a lost brother, or a hard battle that he hadn’t wanted to remember right now—

When she brushes Bly’s mind she finds it full of static. His thoughts are racing almost too fast for her to make sense of them. After a moment he seizes them and wrestles them into submission. He swallows once and nods at her politely.

“Thank you, sir,” he says. Calm, controlled. If she hadn’t glimpsed his thoughts she wouldn’t have known any better. But she does know, and the realization makes amusement and perhaps a hint of mischief course through her. If this is how he reacts to a simple compliment, she can’t imagine how he would be if she were to—

Force. Enough of that.

“Have the men gotten settled?” she asks quietly, retreating away from his mind for the time being. He straightens at the question, shoulders drawing back.

“Yes, sir. They’re alright.” Then he winces. “They’re… excited. We haven’t gotten a good amount of leave in a while. I was thinking of drafting an apology letter to Fox tonight, just in case.”

Aayla laughs.

“They deserve to have their fun,” she comments, leaning against the railing and staring out at the skyline in front of them. “We’ve had a busy few months.”

Bly drags in a deep breath and exhales slowly.

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. “They were getting tired. This will be good for them.”

“And for us,” Aayla adds. He hesitates, unsure of how to respond. She takes the opportunity to lean over him and pluck the datapad from his hand. A protest rises on his lips, but she shoots him a look, and he bites his tongue. “You deserve rest just as much as the rest of your men do, Commander.”

He nods in reluctant agreement, resting one elbow against the railing and slumping a little. He isn’t completely relaxed, but it’s more than he had been a few moments ago. Improvement.

Silence settles over them. It isn’t uncomfortable—on the contrary, it’s peaceful. A light breeze stirs through the air. Aayla glances up at her Commander, squaring her shoulders a bit. There is an opportunity here, a chance to act. She takes it.

“What would you like to do after the war, Bly?”

He blinks at her, taken aback. To be fair, she’s never asked him something like this before. During the heat and smoke and fire of a campaign she’d never felt as if it were an appropriate question to solicit. She watches him consider it. He glances down, picking at the loose white shirt as if suddenly unsure of himself.

“I’m not sure, sir,” he answers slowly. “I was created to be a soldier. I can’t really imagine myself doing anything else with my life. What… what would you like to do?”

Aayla hums.

“I suppose I will continue to be a Jedi. Though it will undoubtedly be strange. We’ve taken the roles of Generals so easily. Many will struggle to leave it behind.”

His expression flickers as something unreadable passes across his face.

“Will you?”

She falters.

Aayla will struggle. She already knows that, as surely as she knows that the sun will rise in the morning. Perhaps a few years ago that would have concerned her, but today she accepts it and wonders, not for the first time, if she even will want to leave it behind. Not for the power, not for the thrill of command, but for the men. For Bly.

The Council would be appalled to hear that. Quinlan Vos would be thrilled.

“I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me,” she tells Bly firmly. It’s so easy to be honest with him. It’s part of the reason why they work so well together. She sees something in Bly ease a little at her words.

“That’s good, sir,” he says. Without warning he tenses again, taking a shallow breath. “I don’t necessarily know what I want to do after the war, but I do know that it wouldn’t be worth my time if you weren’t there as well.”

Her heart stutters in her chest. He turns his face back to the skyline, as if immediately berating himself for the comment. Aayla resists the urge to reach out with the Force and find the true meaning of those words, to understand everything left unspoken there.

“In that case, I would welcome your company,” she responds quietly. Bly shifts his weight just a little. Some of the strain eases from his shoulders at her acceptance. His words hadn’t been an offer, not exactly, but it had been a bold statement—especially for Bly, who understands his priorities and selflessly resists the feelings that he so clearly wants to act upon. Aayla senses conflict in him, a constant battle between remaining stoic and throwing all caution to the wind.

It would be a lie to say that she did not feel the same thing.

There is a chain of command. There is a Jedi Code. There are rules, both dictated and not, that must be followed. In all her life she has never found herself wishing that it were not so until now.

Bly pulls away from the railing of the balcony, taking a step back. His tattoos gleam like liquid gold across his arms as he moves into a different light.

“I… I’ll get some rest then, General. You should too,” he suggests carefully. Too carefully. She is consistently impressed by his restraint. If it weren’t for his careful self-control she would have fallen a long time ago, but he balances her out perfectly in that as well as everything else. She doesn’t want him to leave yet.

She catches his arm as he tries to turn away with her own hand. Both of them freeze. Aayla looks down at her hand and is suddenly fascinated by the way the blue of her skin contrasts with the warm brown of his.

“Bly. Stay with me?”

She doesn’t have much right to ask that of him. It’s his room, after all. But Aayla doesn’t imagine the little tremor that runs through his body as he pulls his arm away. She lifts her head to meet his gaze and is stunned by the storm of conflict in his eyes.

“General… I don’t think…”

“Stay,” Aayla repeats softly. She ever-so-gently brushes at the edge of his mind again to make sure she isn’t pressuring him. She won’t force him into something he genuinely doesn’t want to do.

Bly’s mind is always so welcoming to her. She doesn’t even think that he’s aware of how readily it opens to her, of how easily it shares its secrets with her. For that reason she chooses to keep her distance for the most part, because she refuses to take advantage of him in that way. If she must reach for his thoughts, she keeps the connection as shallow as possible.

On occasions she’s seen his mind flare brilliantly when she’s nearby until he stuffs the light away under a grey shield of professionalism. She catches glimpses of it when he’s not being careful—when they’ve won a campaign and the men are celebrating in a fever, adrenaline and relief and the thrill of success spinning through the air. When she tells him that her recklessness had indeed been part of the plan and he only responds with an eye-roll and a fond chuckle. When he changes an entire battle strategy because she makes a single offhand comment about how she’s worried about destroying a beautiful forest.

Never once has she felt his mind grow heavy and dark with the sick lust that so many other men succumb to when she approaches. When desire does escape from the deeper recesses of Bly’s mind it is only visible for an instant as a bright flash of heat before he shuts it down without mercy. His respect for her is tangible even without a glance at his thoughts.

Right now, his mind is hesitant. She can sense that he wants to stay, but he is afraid as well. He’s worried for what he might do if he does remain, for what she might think, for what the men might say.

If only he could see into her mind. Aayla thinks a bit wryly that he wouldn’t be as afraid if he could feel her own thoughts on the matter.

“I would like it if you stayed,” she reiterates, just so that he understands that this isn’t an order, isn’t something that he’s required to accept. “Though you are welcome to get some rest if you wish.”

It’s a dangerous game that they’re playing. The attraction, the want, is mutual, otherwise it wouldn’t be as potent as it is. Aayla is tired of ignoring the bantha in the room. War takes and razes and tears down everything in its path. For once she wants to take something for herself.

Bly clenches his jaw and nods once.

“I’ll stay,” he acquiesces quietly. In the distance, faint police sirens become audible. Aayla can’t help a tiny smirk at the way Bly’s expression turns pained.

“There are millions of life-forms living nearby, Bly, I’m sure the men are fine. They probably don’t have anything to do with it,” she teases. He rolls his eyes.

“If I don’t get some sort of complaint in the morning I’ll be extremely surprised,” he grumbles. The grumpy amusement on his face is so utterly endearing that she steps forward without even thinking about it.

“Bly…”

His name comes out of her mouth with more warmth than she’d intended. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Aayla.”

She shivers. Her name rolls off of his tongue in the most delightful way. She draws a little closer to him, just enough to be intruding in his personal space. When he finally opens his eyes to look at her again she can see his defenses crashing down, crumbling as she reaches out to trace her fingers along the gold across his cheek.

He swallows hard as if bracing himself and reaches out a hand. His fingers brush against one of her lekku tentatively. She makes a soft noise of encouragement, and his touch grows a little more firm, sliding up to rest just at the junction of her skull. Aayla sighs. She leans forward and rests her forehead against his.

That makes him pause. His eyes go wide, as if he’s only just realizing what he’s doing. He jerks away from her so fast that she briefly loses her balance. The absence of his touch, as fleeting as it had been, makes her chest ache.

“Aayla, I—General. General, Force, this isn’t—I can’t. You have your—the Code, and the regs—”

Aayla exhales.

“And what if I wanted to choose, just for a moment, that they did not exist, Commander?” she asks him. “The time for hesitation is over. I will not sit in silence and wait until the war takes even you from me.”

Bly’s expression contorts. The edges of his Force presence go jagged.

“It isn’t that simple,” he forces out. “We could pretend all we want, but that wouldn’t change the rules.”

“Some would say that the rules are outdated,” Aayla counters. She feels a sharp flash of frustration. It’s tempting to let it stew and grow, but she does her best to let it go.

“That doesn’t matter, sir. We couldn’t ever… if anyone ever noticed, you would be stripped of both your rank and your title as a Jedi Master. I won’t be responsible for that.”

She mulls over his determined words with a sad fondness. He would give up everything he ever wanted just to keep her safe.

“Fortunately, you are not responsible for that,” she replies smoothly. “I am quite capable of making my own decisions. If I were to be expelled from the Jedi Order it would be because I chose that path.”

He stares her down, horrified. Then he narrows his eyes and sets his jaw.

“I would rather have you with me—with us, with the battalion—as a General and nothing more, than not have you at all.”

Aayla’s frustration comes back, stronger this time. She frowns at him.

“As I told you before, I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me. Nor will I leave my men behind if the title of Jedi is stripped from me. This is a risk that I am willing to take.”

Bly grimaces and tips his head back, sighing at the sky.

“Sir, regardless, I’m not—I’m not worth that risk. I’m a clone. This isn’t just inappropriate, it’s unfair to you, and I can’t—”

“That is not what I believe,” Aayla interrupts sharply. She feels just a jolt of anger, of outrage that he’s been conditioned to think like that. The emotion is difficult to banish. “You are worth far more to me than you could ever realize.”

He twitches and looks away fast. The rise and fall of his chest comes quicker now. His mind undulates with uncertainty and fear. The uncertainty is understandable, but the fear—that, she doesn’t understand. She steps close to him again and watches him tense, glancing at her as if worried of what she’ll do.

“What are you afraid of?” she asks in genuine surprise. She is just as new to this as he is, after all, and she wants answers. Bly lets out a stuttering breath.

“I don’t know,” he rasps. The words ring with honesty. An idea flits on the edge of Aayla’s mind. She reaches up to touch his temple. Despite everything, he leans into the touch.

“Let me see,” she requests. For a long moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stares into her eyes. Ever so slowly, he dips his head in a small nod. Aayla closes her eyes.

When she reaches for his mind, his thoughts all but pull her inside. In an instant she’s deeper into his psyche than she’d originally meant to go. All of his emotions roll over her like a wave. She tries to pull away from them, but it’s too late, and she gets thrown into a whirlwind of sensation—

It’s overwhelming. The first thing to hit her is a tide of devotion so fierce that it feels like a firestorm against her own mind. A distinct longing is next, waxing and waning in strength as he struggles to keep it in check. Then there is a devastating clash of loyalty and restraint and desire and helplessness that makes her head spin.

In the center of it all, she sees herself.

It isn’t what she expects at all; isn’t even close to how she imagines herself in her own mind. She stands against an infinite stretch of darkness, lighting the way with her lightsaber outstretched as a brilliant blue beacon. She can sense Bly’s instinctual inclination to follow regardless of where she will lead—even if it means death, even if it means something worse. Through Bly’s eyes she is glorious and powerful and ethereal. Except then there is a sharp contrast, because she fights with all the vigor of a warrior but then she turns to look at him and everything goes soft and suddenly he is overcome by admiration and fondness and a hesitant, tentative love—

Aayla reels back. She struggles to stay above the sea of affection and desire and passion that follows after her doggedly, as if it can’t continue to exist without showing her everything now that she’s stumbled across it. She is jolted to reality. Both of her hands are curled tenderly around Bly’s skull. His eyes are squeezed shut.

She trails her gaze over his face. Aayla is flustered and panting. She had known that he feels something for her, but she’d never realized to what extent. His self-control is even more impressive now that she’s caught a glimpse of what he truly thinks.

“Bly—you—?”

He blinks his eyes open and immediately lowers them in shame.

That won’t do at all. Determination swells in her heart along with a strange sensation of desperation, because she’d known, but she’d never truly understood. He’d kept the full extent of his feelings carefully locked away, and when parts of it had escaped they had only implied a mere fraction of what was really going on inside his head.

She wants—needs—him to understand that it goes both ways.

When she enters his mind again, she lets Bly’s emotions wash around her instead of hitting her full force. She sinks deep, catching glimpses of memories and snippets of sound—

A battlefield shouldn’t be alluring, but with fire swirling around her and sparks drifting past them, she’s more glorious than anything else he could ever imagine.

He wishes that he could express the sensation that he feels whenever she looks at him like that, how his heart seems to swell three sizes and continue expanding until it’s all but bursting out of his chest.

Blue. Blue. Blue. He can’t get the color out of his head, can’t stop his eyes from trailing over her skin and noting all of her visible scars, can’t focus right even though he knows that he needs to concentrate.

She makes a bad call. Not even the best Generals are without fault. Brothers die. For all that he admires her she is still flawed, but somehow that doesn’t detract from how badly he wants her, from how much he cares. She is imperfect and scarred but he loves her all the more for it, for how she fights to become better with every breath she takes.

It’s raining. She looks happy. She looks at peace. Her eyes are bright. She’s beautiful. He wants to reach out and touch her. He aches because he can’t.

Nothing will ever come out of his feelings but he will content himself with the fleeting sensations of joy he finds when she presses her spine to his in the middle of a battle and fights with absolute certainty that he’ll be there to guard her back.

Jedi aren’t immortal and that has never been more obvious now. She is sick and miserable and tired. He convinces her to leave the bridge under his command for the day and go get some rest. When he drops by her room to update her on the Separatist’s movements she is sprawled out on her bunk, mouth hanging open and drooling. It is possible the most unflattering view of her that he’s ever seen. He hardly cares. He sits next to her anyway, a grin springing to his lips as she stirs and blinks up at him, surprised at his presence. There’s nowhere else that he’d rather be.

He hadn’t been created to love. Sometimes he wishes that he had been.

There. Hidden in that thought Aayla finds hints of darkness. She catches a hold of the trail of insecurity she had originally intended to follow and chases after it.

Chain of command aside, Jedi code aside, anything he feels for her is foolish. Bly is not unique, not special despite his rank. Even if there were no restrictions he has millions of brothers who all look the same, so why would she pay any attention to him at all?

He is Kaminoan property. There is no place for love in his purpose. He barely even understands the concept even though he knows the word. He couldn’t possibly offer her what she wants, isn’t worthy to even try. He’s just a clone, nothing more.

It hurts her to feel how deeply those thoughts are woven into his mind. She tugs at them carefully and feels him lurch. Somewhere in the real world she feels hands clutching at her shoulders, but she can’t focus on that right now.

She won’t be able to replace the thoughts, can’t destroy them as much as she would like to. Instead she presses her own thoughts over his, carefully so that he can sense every detail.

Gold is enthralling to her now. Her eyes get stuck on it automatically. She can only think of armor and tattoos and eyes and tan skin—and a steady presence beside her that she wouldn’t trade for the galaxy.

They are alone and desperate and fighting. Aayla pushes herself to move faster, to fight harder, to continue even though her limbs are shaking because she won’t let him die, not today. It would hurt more than anything to replace a battalion but it would tear her into pieces and leave her incapacitated to lose Bly.

It’s raining. She coaxes him to step into the open and tilt his head upwards. His Force presence goes still and calm as he stares up into the clouds above them. Raindrops settle in his hair like tiny glass orbs and scatter across the tattoos on his cheeks. She wants to reach out, she wants, she wants. She senses that he does too, but then he pulls away and she marvels at his control even though her chest contracts in disappointment.

He stands against a hailfire of blaster bolts, unshaken, grounding her along with the rest of his brothers, pistols blazing. She draws strength from his courage and pushes forward. She trusts him with her life. She knows with unshakable certainty that Bly will have her back.

It’s late. The hangar is empty except for them, seated on top of a LAAT with the hangar bay doors thrown wide open to show wide-open space above them. When she turns her head over to look at Bly she sees a wide-eyed awe on his face. He marvels at how different the stars look from here than on Kamino. His joy is tangible. Aayla only has eyes for him. She feels warm and happy and light in a way that she’s never felt before.

He smiles at her fondly and she feels faint suddenly, as if the single breathtaking, handsome, devoted expression is enough to stop her heart.

Love is dangerous because she is a Jedi. But she looks at him and decides that she doesn’t care.

Aayla lets him feel and see and understand every inch of her yearning, every ounce of her awe. His entire mind quakes under her touch. She feels the knot of darkness shiver and unravel a bit. She can’t get rid of it just yet. That will take time. She dares to hope that she’ll get the chance to try soon.

She comes back to herself. Bly’s hands are trembling on her shoulders. When she makes a soft noise of concern he wrenches them off of her and presses his fists against his sides.

“Aayla,” he groans, and he sounds absolutely wrecked. Like he’s seconds from falling apart. His eyes are bright and wide. They’re practically glowing in the dim lighting.

“I want you,” she tells him firmly, forcing every bit of blunt honesty into her voice as she can. She brushes her thumbs across his cheekbones and then lets her hands drop. “This is worth the risk to me, Bly. But it is up to you.”

She puts the choice in his hands and half expects him to turn away, to mull over everything he’s felt, to hesitate again.

He does not.

Instead, he makes a strangled sound, leans in, and presses his lips to hers.

It’s the last thing she’s expecting. She nearly stumbles as a result. His panic spikes into the Force until she grabs his shoulders and kisses him back.

The Force surges in a flare of heat and electricity around them. Bly exhales shakily against her. The brush of their lips is light and tentative. Aayla gathers herself, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and deepening the kiss. Their mouths slant together. One of Bly’s hands finds her lekku again and strokes it gently. Her knees go weak underneath her at the pleasant sensation, at the feel of his mouth against hers.

When they break apart, Bly is gasping like he’s dying and can hardly believe his own audacity. Aayla feels heat crawling up her neck. She can’t stop panting either, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands.

She’d hoped to get this far, to help him see that he’s worth it, that this is a risk that she’s willing to take, but she hadn’t expected any of that. This is unfamiliar to both of them.

“I—I didn’t—I—” Bly stammers out, and Aayla just blinks at him, because she isn’t doing much better.

Neither of them say anything for a long moment. Aayla can’t tear her gaze away from his face. He’s still so afraid, but she can see his mind weighing all of the options, struggling to make a final decision.

The pinprick of cold on her forearm makes her jerk. It’s followed by another on her lek, and then another on her forehead.

It’s raining.

Bly sucks in a sharp breath.

It rains once in a blue moon on Coruscant. It isn’t unheard of, but it isn’t common either. Aayla remembers a memory from a forest planet months ago, etched into both of their minds with striking clarity and sentiment. Slowly, Bly tilts his head back until he’s looking up into the sky.

She had shown him that. It sends a thrill down her spine to watch him remember, to feel his Force presence go from raging indecision to solidifying into careful determination.

The raindrops are growing bigger. She can hear them clattering against the balcony around her. A droplet splatters against her nose. She reaches out to brush the water away and goes still when Bly reaches for her hand, threading their fingers together as if he’s afraid that she’s going to change her mind.

“It’s worth the risk,” he whispers, like a prayer. She smiles at him. After a heartbeat, he returns it. “I want... I want you too.”

His words make Aayla feel giddy, like she’s soaring, light as a feather and free as the wind. The rain comes down around them. It would only take a few steps to enter the room and dry off but neither of them move.

She wants to kiss him again. The relief and elation she feels as she realizes that she actually can now is heady. His lips are still parted ever so slightly. When she leans in again, he meets her halfway.

It doesn’t matter that they’re going to get drenched. It doesn’t matter that there’s a chain of command or a Jedi code. It doesn’t matter that there’s a war going on and sometimes it’s safer to not get attached.

She focuses on Bly and finds peace in the rhythm of the rain. It’s worth the risk.

#fanfic #blyla #clone wars #Aayla Secura #commander bly #oh i'm so weak for them #wow jaymes congrats i'm addicted and it's your fault XD #writing

190 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1200

Have you ever felt a baby kick? Yeah, when my mom was pregnant with my brother.

What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I have red shorts on at the moment.

When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Last Friday, I’d say? Hahaha. Counted down the hours and minutes before the Butter MV drop, celebrating and freaking out with Army when it finally came out, watched the OT7 VLive that happened that afternoon, and streamed the video for nearly 24 hours straight so we could break some records, all of which we ended up achieving. It feels great to stan a group again after being out of the loop for so long lol.

What was the scariest moment of your life? A few men have lunged towards me - just to get attention, I guess? - in the past, while I was just peacefully walking. I always hear them snickering once I’ve flinched, and I always ended up crying once I’ve processed the situation.

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? I know of the name, but I have no clue who he is or what he does (did?).

Pancakes or flapjacks? I don’t even know what flapjacks are, so let’s go with pancakes.

What kind of computer are you on? I’m using a Macbook Air.

Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? Yes. Minced pork with eggplant.

What are you usually doing at midnight? On weekdays, I spend it in bed, either watching videos or already reading fanfics to get ready to turn in. On Friday nights and weekends, I will usually be found on the rooftop taking a survey or two.

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No, I’ve never developed feelings for another person while in a relationship.

If so, how did it turn out?

Give me your brief definition of love. I will always stick by this quote, “Love never says, ‘I have done enough.’”

What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? This is subjective, of course, but personally I find it to be thighs.

What kind of shoes do you wear? I’m not wearing any at the moment; but in general, I like to wear sneakers.

What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Physical violence.

Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? Nope.

Do you like the smell of coconuts? Not so much. I like coconut milk, though.

What is the heaviest you think you can lift? I think my personal best was like 60 or 70 lbs, back when I had weight training classes for PE in college. I remember being in so much pain once I gave the 80 lbs barbell a shot.

Do you take Tums? No.

Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? ...Ugh. I’m pretty sure I’ve taken this survey very recently but I might as well just take it again because I don’t feel like searching for another. Anyway, I haven’t... at least not that I can remember.

How about under one? Definitely not.

At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I was around 12 when I was starting to feel confused about getting nervous around Andi.

Do you feel that way around anyone now? I don’t.

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? No haha but I usually bring my phone with me to keep me company.

Do you ever sing to yourself? Pretty often.

What is a sound that relaxes you? Ocean waves.

How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? I don’t have a main goal set in life. I just live in the now and try to do things or make decisions that would keep me consistently happy.

Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? HAHAHAHAHA definitely took this recently; this is so embarassing. No, I still don’t know about this song.

What is your main heritage? Filipino.

What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? I hate pickles and I find them absolutely nasty, but there are other pickled things I like, like radishes.

What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? Mozzarella and feta.

If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? No thanks. I’m not capable of providing them proper care.

How about a farm animal? I would just stick to dogs.

So, do you have hoes in different area codes?

What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? I’ve been in a BTS bubble for a solid month or so and I honestly can’t tell you my opinion about songs that have recently come out, because I literally don’t know any.

What is a song that you hate to admit you like? There isn’t any I’m guilty about.

What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Knowing I’ll feel accomplished once I do it.

Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? Never anymore. I used to browse through it only when I was a lot younger.

Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Both.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? The Transformers series, lol.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? I always liked clay and I never really graduated from that interest, since I find the texture fascinating and fun to play with.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Sure.

If so, what did you do? I had my first sip of alcohol at Kaira’s 18th birthday and I was feeling left out since literally everyone else was drinking. For vaping, Gabie introduced it to me; and for smoking, it was another case of FOMO that made me want to try it out.

What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? My back.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Idk? I don’t take note of that kind of attention, anyway; I would find it creepy.

How many people do you know for sure to be interested in you right now? Zero.

What is a good name for a turtle? I think it would be the same process as the way I think it would be for any other pet; it would depend on their personality, their aura, etc.

Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Not really. I can read Hangul and am familiar with the different tonalities used in Korean but I wouldn’t say my imitation would be considered spot-on.

Do you like having your ear nibbled on? Yes.

What makes a good kisser a good kisser? When they know how to use their tongue in a teasing way, for one. Eugh it’s too early for this lol

How many times a year do you have a family thing? What even is a family thing?

What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I don’t like smoothies.

Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? Yup, especially when I’m either eating somewhere pricey or when I’m eating at one of my favorite restaurants.

What do you dislike most about where you live right now? It’s a pretty uneventful city, and if I want to have some fun I always have to go to Manila.

Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? Yup.

Are you watching your weight? No.

Have you ever became really good friends with someone you found online? Yes. Aliyah and I are still friends and I’m glad we’ve been able to maintain our friendship even after mine and Gab’s falling out. It’s a shame the three of us didn’t get to meet in real life though, and it will 100% never happen now. I also used to have a group of Twitter friends back in my wrestling stan days but it’s been a very long time since we’ve gone our separate ways. I have yet to find friends on Army Twitter but I really doubt I would get to build established friendships any time soon because EVERYONE IS SO YOUNG OVER THERE

What makes your best friend your best friend? They understand me better than anyone else does.

Do you have a drunk uncle? I have a couple of them.

Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? Nope.

What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Ignoring this question.

What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? Also ignoring this.

What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? I find line tattoos to be pretty cool and beautiful in general. The minimalist look it goes for works really well.

Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? That vase I molded during my Vigan trip :) It was the first (and so far) only thing I’ve made from scratch, and even though I didn’t get to take it home, I’m still glad I had the opportunity to try pottery.

Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? No? That’s pretty wasteful. I eat the whole cookie.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? Hahahahaha. Yes.

If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? Not anymore, no.

Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? Most likely as a stupid teenager when I didn’t know any better.

Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? Angela and Laurice.

If so, what about them do you like most? They’re very easy to talk to, and they’re both selfless and generous.

What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My mom is making dinner while I believe everyone else is just on their phones waiting for the dish to be made.

What is the most money you've ever had at one time? I don’t remember the exact amounts anymore but my mom used to hand me cheques and regularly assign me to pay for me and my sister’s tuition back in grade school and high school, since she had work during the day and didn’t have time to stop by the school herself.

How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? I don’t know but definitely longer than what would be considered a decent duration for a fit person.

Look down. What do you see? I can see my legs but just barely since it’s dark out.

What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Topics I don’t know too much about.

What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? BTS, my field, and history.

What kind of mood were you in most of today? Comfortable. We had the aircon on all day and I just watched BTS MVs and live performances, and I don’t really feel bad about being unproductive for once.

Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Just once or twice.

Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. Togepi.

What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Tell me hurtful words.

What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Idk...maybe cut them off unexpectedly? I'll usually have no problem doing this with people who make me uncomfortable.

How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? Nothing. She’s not in my life.

How about the last person (your last ex)? She’s the same person.

What is the best invention ever invented? The internet.

What is something that needs to be invented? Not a completely new invention but I wish programs that can identify songs for you, like Siri, can be more improved to be able to recognize songs just by humming the tone. So far they can only name songs if you play it clearly for a few seconds, but it can be a hassle if I wanna have access to a certain song but only remember the melody and otherwise have no idea what the lyrics are or who sang them.

Describe your eyes. I don’t think they’re anything special. I don’t count them as a striking feature of mine.

What always makes you burp? Eating quickly. And beer.

What is something you hate doing that most couples do? There isn’t anything.

What's your astrological sign? Taurus.

What are you doing tomorrow? I wanna finally watch the Friends reunion special since I didn’t feel like watching it today. I also have a press release to write for one of my clients – they requested for it Friday and want it by Monday :(

#survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

berrymeter · 3 years

Note

ok perth u probably didn't see the oneus cb yet but i gotta give u my thoughts please take my thoughts.

black mirror: it feels a little atrocious and cheesy and i actually love it like it's just a catchy song!! they could have gone harder but i'm okay with it. the mv is VERY valkyrie which is cute but also boring. none of the shots really wowed me also rbw tanked their budget for this cb.. and some of their fits suck. for me this is a step up from banbakbulga though

connect with us: letdown letdownnnn i would honestly rather listen to the outro version of this song. there is no movement there is no buildup. but xion has a verse so 🥰🥰 i guess

polarity: THIS IS THE ONE.. catchy as hell mwah

happy birthday: save me. save them. the chorus is nice honestly and i like this producer but the aggressively heterosexual corny english interjections really took me out of the vibe.. it's not my birthday i'm not your girlfriend shut up shut uppppp

valkyrock: mixed feelings bc it really just feels like valkyrie with poorly arranged hard guitar in the bg there were some weird instrumental choices too. it serves its purpose which is to be a cool concert remix. there are some cool moments tho especially with the main guitar which i can only assume is kanghyun just shredding it good for him. could have gone harder with the rock concept

so overall this cb... just okay. i'm okay with it! it's def not a come back home or a tbontb (i actually LOVED tbontb era sfsgdfdgdg even the acoustic guitar in the chorus) but frankly it wasn't trying to be that. still feels pretty oneus. anywayyy this is long! i just wanted to like. open a discussion lol don't feel pressured to respond!! -tt

i can finally start answering this ohohoho

hi tt anon my beloved!!! i am ready to answer to these thoughts (aka compare them to mine hSDGHSDKJGH. also i’ll be writing like, each ThoughtTM after i’ve listened to each song, so while i’m typing that i’ve only heard black mirror)

ok so i’m done typing my thoughts and. it got VERY long. don’t apologise for length i’m also wordy <3

now connect with us. so far i didn’t like the voice editing on keonhee’s voice but the song sounds... alright... not groundbreaking but it’s alright. seoho my beloved <3 WAIT THERES NO DROP IN THE CHORUS???? WHAT THE FUCK? i don’t really like the typical kpop drops always used now but come on?? oh wait there’s a? ugh. that was nothing. well i guess it’s a song and dongju got a verse for sure. i don’t have a lot to say on it i don’t know if i’ll add it to any playlists IS THAT HWANWOONG’S FIRST LINE?????? what the hell is any of this DSKJFHKJHD i may not have noticed him before but huh what. eh. it’s a song. again maybe it’ll grow on me! but right now yeah it’s a letdown i agree.

so for black mirror i agree the mv was... cheaper than what we got with gaja, twilight & etc. like they used all the budget on their first mvs DNSKJFHKJ (and to be or not to be... i guess? i don’t remember much except Guns And Blood Bath). i don’t really mind it in itself bc i don’t watch mvs much anymore and i’ve accepted that sometimes companies will just throw whatever at the audience for the sake of money (see also: ugly dance by onf letting me down in great part bc it acts as a followup to beautiful beautiful but is literally just a performance mv with no storytelling elements whatsoever but eh what can you do right) but for someone who likes cinematography it’s definitely gonna be disappointing if they were expecting something like gaja or come back home. as for the fits i didn’t really look at them, mostly their faces? and ough they are pretty <3 but yeah i wanted to get the more negative criticism out of the way so i can talk about The Song because unexpectedly i actually really like it!! and we can thank the bassline for that LMAOOO honestly this is gonna sound mean for no reason but this is what w*nho (censoring in case it gets in tags... i do NOT need mbbs after me on this fine day) thought he was doing with his debut song (not losing you that one made me cry. the one that i forgot the name of). i really enjoy the vibe of the song even if imo it doesn’t really fit the visual concept very much? but it has strings and i’m not gonna say no to strings. strings and a sexy bassline. and yonghoon’s whistling. SHFSDHKH

no but it’s a really good song imo! it’s not... as good as say, twilight (maybe it’ll grow on me idk we’ll see but twilight really was one of their best so), but it’s still a pretty solid song and while i do like banbakbulga a lot now it feels a lot less oneus than black mirror. oh wait i have something else to say, they really should leave the rapping to ravn bc like we know kpop rappers are not really rappers but i. really don’t wanna hear leedo rap anymore. he has great vocals there’s no reason for that... ravn is genuinely enjoyable to listen to so i don’t mind him but pls rbw give leedo more vocal lessons so he can sing more (and also give dongju vocal lessons at all?? why does he get two lines per song??? they’re a 2 yr old group now there’s no excuse. is he that bad? i don’t buy it he sounded good in the rtk gaja)

black mirror also very vaguely reminded me of run away by got7 during the chorus for some reason feel free to ignore that HFKJSHKFJ

onto polarity! shit i really need wrist braces. well this is like an improved connect with us? it’s definitely catchier sdnfsjkdfh and definitely a oneus song tho that means i don’t really like what their style is headed toward... one of the percussions they keep using, i really don’t like it!! i hear it everywhere and i don’t like it! not bc i hear it everywhere but bc it’s used for anything and everything like u should be more careful with what sounds u use for what songs. but i’m also very picky in the little details when i’m focused on something i guess sndfjskh. keonhee sounds really good in this song thank u mr lisp for my life i love u :) OH WAIT LEEDO IN THE CHORUS??? VERY GOOD LET’S GET MARRIED jk not to a leo man.

then we got happy birthday....... um... i was gonna say this is fine then he said you’re my goddess and. let me out <3 NOOO KEONHEE SOUNDS SO GOOD THIS IS EVIL... WHY DOES HE SOUND SO GOOD ON THIS SONG NANODNONDD LOVE LOSES </////3 i wouldn’t say it’s unlistenable for me like english girl but i’m gonna have to turn off my english speaking brain to listen to it yeah. it’s a good song otherwise what a shame... stop pushing ur heterosexual words onto me i’m just trying to listen to a song!!! do songs have to be gendered!!!!!!!!!

valkyrock here we go. last one. last one boys & not boys. so far it’s nice tbh. HUH? they lost the vibe with ravn’s verse. okay i guess the prechorus is alright i can hear the faintest hint of strings. the chorus... the percussions should not be like that... like idk how to explain it but the rhythm is too regular and not spaced out enough, if they were gonna do it like that it should hit a lot harder. don’t give me just the big boy (idk the english name but u know the one on the drums) and the small cymbal sound... that’s not loud enough bring out the damn gong (ok i may exaggerate but like it sounds more dancey than rock either way). uhhhhh overall though i really like the mix of the heavy guitar & strings i think that’s great and they should do that more. i can only assume onewe took care of the instruments LMAO harin u should’ve gone harder than that king i know u can...

so uhmmm for me this cb is... better than the previous one. which is sad bc it was a full album. i also liked it better than tbontb bc i felt that one didn’t go hard enough and black mirror wasn’t trying to go hard in that way so it doesn’t bother me 😭 yeah it’s not light us raise us fly with us level but it’s really good still. i can’t wait for oneus to finally release something that makes me insane but tbh? tbh? the bassline might get me there anyway. sexy bass makes me deranged and i think that’s at least a little bit relatable. still... when oneus get back to their roots in ways other than valkyrock maybe we’ll ascend to a better plane. much love 💕

#asks #tt anon #long post #sorry everyone im passionate about the music i listen to KANSNSJS

2 notes · View notes

girlmadeofivory · 4 years

Text

Fever Dreams (Jace x Reader)

A/N: So I wrote a short little thing based on a weird dream I had and here it is! Also I really appreciate constructive feedback but keep in mind a binge-wrote this in like 30 minutes ;) Also the reader’s name is Audrea bc if I try to use Y/N I get super confused and it doesn’t work out well at all

Warning: near-death experience

Something around 1400 works but idk

I followed closely behind Jace as we neared the lobby of the abandoned theater.

“All clear,” he whispered.

I stepped around him and quickly drew the unlock rune onto the door and opened it slowly. Thankfully, the hinges didn’t creak. Jace moved in front of me and, to no one’s surprise, a demon leaped at him from a shadowy corner. As he slaughtered it and its companions, I picked my way across the room to the bookcase against the wall. There were cobwebs stretched over every surface and I shuddered at the thought of touching a spider in here. There was barely enough light to see, and I didn’t want to take any chances, so I used another rune to clear the wall of the sticky webs.

“Hey, can you hurry up? I’m literally fighting monsters of hell here!” Jace shouted.

“Hold on, I’m looking for it! Just smash in a window or something, the light should scare off a decent number of them,” I said.

I heard glass break behind me and sighed in relief that Jace had taken my advice. He could be stubborn, especially when it came to admitting I was right, but now was not the time to fight over it. I scoured the bookshelf a little faster, skimming titles: The Magical Upkeep of your New Pet Tiger, How to Paint and Wallpaper: the Warlock’s Handbook, Best Practices for Magical Ironing. Wait- A Complete History of the Mortal Instruments.

“Jace! I found it!”

“Well, let’s fucking go!” he shouted back at me.

I grabbed the book and zipped it into my bag, sealing it with a rune for good measure. I stepped carefully over a few piles of demon dust while Jace opened the door, looking incredibly stressed out. I knew why; this book was the only advantage we had over his father, Valentine, and no one knew how much time we’d have before it was too late to keep fighting.

As I passed a particularly dark section of the wall, a stabbing pain shot through my thigh. On instinct, I activated my seraph blade and slashed at it. A demon’s scream rang through the hall as it turned to dust. The next second, Jace was at my side. My blade slipped from my hand and darkness blurred the edges of my vision.

“Jace-”

**************

I woke up in the Institute’s infirmary wearing only my underwear and my shirt. There was a thick bandage over my leg, and my head was spinning. I sat up in bed and tried to stand, but Jace stopped me.

“Hey, no. Sit down, get some rest. You need to heal up.” Jace felt my forehead, a concerned look on his face

“What are you, a doctor? I just need to iratze it, I’ll be fine.”

“Absolutely not. You’re really, really warm,” he said, pacing the room anxiously.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked.

Jace turned to me, as if to say something, then shook his head. “Just try to sleep, okay?”

I nodded, and he left the room.

The hall was silent, so I assumed Jace had noise-canceled the door. I laid back, closed my eyes, and let the fever consume my mind.

**************

The air was wet and hazy. Jace walked into the infirmary, wearing just his black jeans and the silver necklace I had given him for his 17th birthday.

“You look beautiful, Drea.” Jace’s voice was softer than usual.

I looked up at him, but before I could say anything, we were standing in the Sanctuary. I wore the white dress I had picked out for my funeral, a “just in case” that all of us prepared for. Jace too was wearing his funeral suit. The white jacket fit more loosely than most of his clothes and hung open, exposing his bare chest. He held me close to him and I leaned into him as heat crawled up my legs. I pulled away to look around the room. Flames licked the walls around us, crackling as the wood panels sparked and collapsed. I buried my face into his neck and felt sweat run down my back.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” Jace murmured into my ear. “We’re okay. Just breathe. I love you.”

I glanced up at him in confusion, but Jace was gone. The flames raged higher, and I closed my eyes as my vision turned white.

**************

I woke up to voices in the infirmary. I shifted, just barely, to hear them better, then relaxed into the cot to listen in.

“You know why I can’t tell her!” someone whispered intensely. “She’ll beat me up or stop talking to me or some shit!”

“Jace, you have to. Keeping secrets like this is just going to ruin your friendship,” the other voice responded.

So, it was Jace keeping secrets… from Maryse? No, probably Izzy.

“Alec. We’ve been through this. If I tell Drea I’m in love with her she’s never going to talk to me again!”

Wait. That can’t be right. There’s no way Jace is in love with me!

“I know it’s terrifying, but she won’t disown you or anything. You’re her best friend. If that means anything to her, then the most she’ll do is pretend it never happened.”

Ok, so Alec and Jace are discussing Jace’s massive crush on me while I’m in the room. I guess they do think I’m sleeping, but still… would they really be that dumb? Apparently so, because Jace didn’t sound like he was kidding.

I heard the door click open and closed, and whoever had stayed sat heavily in the chair. It must be Jace, because Alec doesn’t sigh like that. Jace doesn’t usually either, but I’ve heard it happen occasionally. Only when he’s really stressed.

I rolled over in bed and sat up, pretending that I had been asleep.

“Audrea, thank Raziel. How are you feeling?” Jace asked. His hair was messy, the way it is when he runs his hands through it a lot. His hands shook a little.

“Uh, fine. Did you have too much coffee or something?”

“No. Well, kinda, maybe. Just, like four cups? Or eight?”

I frowned. “Wait, how long have you been here?”

“Just since we got back from the mission. You’ve been out for like two days-ish? So about that long, except Alec made me take a shower and change.”

“Of course he did. What would you do without him?” I shook my head at Jace, then winced a little at the headache behind my eyes.

Jace was beside me in a heartbeat. “Are you okay? Does your head hurt? Do you want-”

I laughed a little. “Jace, I’m fine. I just need a glass of water. Honestly, I’m way more concerned about you. When’s the last time you ate?”

“Actually, I’m not exactly sure. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. You had a really bad fever. I think you had a nightmare too.”

“Kinda, I guess. We were both wearing our funeral clothes, and the Sanctuary was on fire, and-” I cut myself off.

“And what?”

And you told me that you loved me. “That was it. The Institute just burned down completely.”

Jace faced towards me. “There was kinda something I wanted to tell you, but if now’s a bad time…”

“No, of course, now is fine.” I turned to give him my full attention. He bit his lip, fidgeting with the Herondale family ring on his finger.

“Um… I was planning not to really tell you, not that I don’t think you deserve to know, but like it’s a pretty big deal and I didn’t want to mess anything up and stuff, but Alec said I should, but I didn’t tell him because I don’t trust you as much, it’s just he’s my parabatai and I figured he’d get it, and I had to talk to someone, and I wasn’t sure-”

“Ok, point made. Moving on…”

He laughed nervously. “Right. Anyways, I wanted to tell you… I really really like you. Like, like like you. And I was wondering if you maybe want to go out with me sometime?”

I smiled at him. “I’d love to go out with you sometime.”

His face lit up, and he leaned over to hug me. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Can I kiss you? Sorry, is it weird to ask?”

“To your second question, no, it’s very sweet. And to answer the first...” I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him.

#oc #shadowhunters #TMI #the mortal instruments #jace x reader #jace herondale #jace morgenstern #jace #jace lightwood #jace wayland #i know it sucks but please bear with me #original work

61 notes · View notes

tangled-the-series-forever · 3 years

Text

Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon

As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

Before Reading

honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!

maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)

I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)

I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one

maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?

will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?

what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂

this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it

During Reading

Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...

“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)

Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)

Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)

“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)

first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️

“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂

she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!

okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless

names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!

the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂

Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!

the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)

I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭

I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...

“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)

pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂

Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her

So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began

I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.

Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰

Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...

OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met

I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔

“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?

I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂

about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂

me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃

why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣

painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t

Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️

okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔

the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)

“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂

the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍

woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...

I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃

Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿

Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎

didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice

Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something

I WAS RIGHT!

Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵

so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)

okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?

“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣

After Reading

so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)

I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting

There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)

overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.

I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)

If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂

#tangled the series #rapunzel and the lost lagoon #tts lost lagoon #lost lagoon spoilers #tts lost lagoon quotes #lost lagoon quotes

4 notes · View notes

act-addict-actors-matchups · 4 years

Text

@navi-chan said,

(♡1♡) Hello ˃ᴗ˂ I wanna know who I match up with in A3 Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ I'm a Virgo and IFJT girl living her life at the moment. I know and think things that are apparently weird (idk why) that makes my friends question on what I do when I'm alone (✿◠‿◠). I'm exactly 5 ft for now (still growing), wavy shoulder-length black hair and I have a fair skin tone cuz I don't like the sun too much XD. I love and enjoy to draw and read stories and articles that captivates my interest.

(♡2♡) I like to travel cuz I want to know the place and it's culture especially its art. I also like to sleep cuz whenever I'm alone and have nothing to do I would feel lonely that is why I tend to sleep the loneliness away. And, I love-hate cuddles (don't attack me pls ( ˃̵⌓˂̵)). LOVE cuz I would feel sense of comfort with the person. HATE cuz I feel like the person might disappear or will leave me behind and I would feel lonely again. Well, that's all (❁´▽`❁)

✧ Tumblr is not letting me tag you. 😔 I hope you’ll see this. Honestly, I really wanted to match you with Azuma but ‘I’m still growing part’ made me feel like you’re a minor so I couldn’t. I can be wrong though lol. Sorry for taking so long and thank you for requesting a matchup, love. 💞✨

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; It was a hot summer day and for some reason you’ve made it into your personal mission to do random acts of kindness for the people who were a total stranger to you. So far, you’ve helped old people cross the street, helped someone load their groceries and left a copy of that days’s newspaper on your neighbor’s doorstep. You had to admit, it was a productive day and it wasn’t even midday yet! With your accomplishments for the day, you decided to treat yourself something cold, like ice cream or soda. Just the thought itself made you smile. With a nod of your head, you began walking towards the area that had the shops in it. While walking, you caught a glimpse of a boy in front of vending machine, sulking. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt with black and white patterns on it and a black shalwar like leggings. Ah, you knew what the problem was. The vending machines in this area were famous for eating the coins of people. You were a victim of them yourself many, many times. But with some brain power, you managed to come up with a single move that can get the snack or drink you’ve wanted. You were already on a kindness roll so you might as well help another person out. With a smile on your face, you cleared your throat and shot the boy a knowing look. “Allow me.” You have said before hitting a specific spot with your hip and bam! one of the sodas has dropped. Sticking your arm in, you grabbed the cold beverage and tossed it to the boy, who was looking at you with shining eyes. “Eh!? That was so cool! Teach me how to do it!” A giggle escaped from your lips at how enthusiastic he was being. You could basically see a tail behind him, wagging with anticipation. With a small shake of your head, you flashed a knowing grin as you took a coin out of your pocket and popped it into the machine, pressing the numbers of the drink you’ve wanted. You were planning on buying something cold anyway and this was more convenient for you too. And just as you thought, even though the vending machine took your money, it didn’t give you the drink. You hit the machine one more time and grabbed your drink after it fell down. You popped open the can and took a sip, turning your attention to the red head afterwards, you began to explain how hitting that exact spot was important and if he messed it up even just a little, the money would go to waste. With every word left your mouth, he nodded with serious eyes. After you were done, you took another coin and basically sacrificed it. “Alrighty, it’s now your turn. Give it your best shot!” You said before stepping aside and giving the boy a thumbs up. “Yes, ma’am.” He said before hitting the machine and successfully making the can of soda fall. His bright blue eyes lit up as he throw his fist up. “Hey, I did it! I really did it!” “Haha, congratulations. Make sure to use that power for good.” “You can count on me!” After that exchange you two grabbed your cans of sodas and sat on a nearby bench. He told you that his name was Taichi Nanao, he was a student at Ouka High School and an actor at Mankai Company. After that, you introduced yourself and you two just chatted about whatever came to mind until it was around three pm. Taichi was first to leave since he had practice with Autumn Troupe around an hour later but he didn’t leave without getting your phone number, which you happily gave without much thought.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi is like a puppy, often noisy and upbeat so there is never a dull moment when you two are together. Don’t ever worry about him leaving you behind because he is so whipped for you. In fact, I feel like you both might fear that whole ‘my significant other is to good for me what if they leave me all of a sudden?’ more than necessary. Yes, I said both of you because let’s not forget that under that positive attitude of his, Taichi actually has very low self esteem. What I’m trying to say is words of affirmation and physical touch is your canon love languages, although the later happened less in your earlier stage of relationship. IFJT people are often perfectionists with extremely high standards of performance for themselves so whenever you’re too harsh on yourself having a chill & silly boyfriend would calm you down or whenever he needs to get serious about something (ex. schoolwork because let’s face it, he’s the type of person who does his homework at the very last moment be it on the breakfast table or while the teacher is collecting them) you’re there making sure he’s not destroying his future academically. Those are just basic examples but in short, you two just balance each other out very nicely. Please just marry each other. 🥺

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; Since apparently you do things that are considered weird, now you have a partner by your side to do those things. I feel like the both of you would totally be up to having intense conversations with pets, rating total strangers out of ten or texting each other weird things even though you're in the same room. If not, I can see you two going to a convenience store, buying the magazines that catches your eyes, sitting back to back or with him laying down on his back and you on top of him, making a + form and reading articles until one of you gets bored. If you’ve seen Taichi’s doodle he made in the notebook, you’d know that the boy is at the very least decent at drawing, so even though he might get bored quickly, he would do his best to draw with you. Since you don’t like the sun very much, if he wants to go outside with you he’d wait until late afternoon-evening. When it comes to outdoor dates the first thing came to my mind was amusement park date. Can you imagine how fun it would be to go on the rides with him??? I headcanon that Taichi loves rollercoasters so you bet he’s gonna beg your to go with him. If you freak out, he lets out a laugh and you feel his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you back against him, his other hand is stretched up to the sky.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi’s birthday is on October 11 which makes him a Libra. Considering that Libra and Virgo are zodiac neighbours, it goes without saying that the two will be compatible. While Libra is an air sign, and Virgo is an earth sign, the two are as disconnected as they are connected. Virgo is duty-bound and nurturing. While Libra is also a sign that will do what needs to be done, their priority will be more on the reality than the idealistic acts. When Virgo and Libra join together in a love match, it can be like puting two puzzle pieces together. Each locks into the other and sits comfortably in place. Both Signs seek security in partnership, and they share a love of beauty and culture. They can work together efficiently and smoothly because they desire similar rewards. The Virgo-Libra relationship may trickle along in the beginning, but it will rev up once both partners grow to respect one another. Just like any other pairing, this pairing has its own set of pros and cons. Both these personality types have a tendency to be very similar to each other. As such, the suggestion would always be to give this relationship a shot. However, another advice would be to keep your eyes open. While loyalty is the way for both these signs, triggers for a change of duty may be something as simple as their partner not putting the toilet seat down. All the best!

#act! addict! actors!#a3! matchup #taichi nanao

7 notes · View notes

aaronhart93-archive · 4 years

Text

discord text/facetime call || aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron and & @romanbeckett

When: August 26th, 2020 - August 27, 2020

Mentions: @alison-haynes @luca-regio

Description: Roman and Aaron talk about Alison’s conversations with both Aaron and Roman

TW: aaron may or may not call alison a bitch, crying, angry!aaron

Roman.

Does Ali not want Des staying the night with me I guess?

And I love you too

Aaron.

sigh

I don’t know what her deal is

I think she’s been having issues with luca and she’s just being irrational

I’ll text her

Roman.

No it's fine

Aaron.

it’s not

Roman.

It is. If that's what she wants, then that's fine.

Aaron.

it’s not what I want. And she’s 50% me so

she doesn’t get the final say

Roman.

I don't want to cause any issues

She said I can see her a few hours

Aaron.

you’re not causing any issues

Roman.

Just let it be, it's okay. Ali has enough stress going on, we all do. I don't want to upset her

Aaron.

no. It’s fine.

Roman.

bleh

Aaron.

she’s fine. Just being dramatic. Don’t worry about it

Roman.

okay

Aaron.

just um

I may have told her that we got back together right away

just got with it

Roman.

Okay

Aaron.

Alison is blaming me for all of her relationship problems with Luca

Roman.

Of course she is

Aaron.

she’s being so damn petty

I’m in rehab and she’s picking a fight

Roman.

I wish I knew how to help

Aaron.

we’re just going around in circles and I don’t know what to do

I’m honestly so hurt

today sucked. This is the last thing I need

Roman.

I shouldn't have said anything I'm so sorry

Aaron.

it needed to be said anyway

I just don’t know what to do

I’m so pissed of

Roman.

Don't worry about it. I'm just going to back off, and I'll see you Sunday.

Aaron.

Roman

I want to see you and Des on her birthday

Roman.

are you sure?

Ugh. Not how I wanted to end my trip. But anyway.

I have to be on at the airport in a couple hours.

Roman.

I love you, but I’ve talked with Alison, and I’m not going to come up Friday. Out of respect for her, and her being uncomfortable, I’m going to step back a bit.

Aaron.

wait

what

WHAT DID SHE SAY

Roman.

she just told me how she’s feeling and I understand. I came on too strong and I’m not Des’ parent. I shouldn’t be acting like I am.

Aaron.

oh my god

what the fuck

oh my god I’m so mad

Roman. Are you okay

Roman.

don’t be mad. She didn’t say those words directly like that, it’s just my perspective.

it’s okay.

Aaron.

what exactly did she say

im sure her words were a lot harsher

Roman.

she’s just scared of losing you both

she needs time to process all this change.

Aaron.

wtf is that supposed to mean

Roman.

I feel weird sharing exactly what she said

Aaron.

she's the one dating a fucking criminal

im so livid

Roman.

just don’t tell her I’m sending this

“Roman: “I know you love Des, and I appreciate everything you do for her. But at the end of the day, Aaron and I will always be her parents. And maybe one day, maybe you will end up being her step parent, but none of us can see the future. So we don’t know if that is what will happen. But right now, you’re not her parent. For a long time, it has always been Aaron, Des and I. That’s it. And things are changing really fast. I mean now there is you and Luca and the baby. I can only handle so many changes at once. And right now, I’m not ready for Destiny to have a “third parent”. I really do appreciate you and all you do for her, and she adores you. I’m sorry, I probably sound like the biggest asshole in the book right now. But half the time I already feel like I’m losing Aaron, I can’t lose Des too.”

Aaron.

oh my god

she did not say that to you

Roman.

it’s fine Aaron

Aaron.

it's far from fine

Roman.

I’ll just see you Sunday, and then come visit one day next week.

Aaron.

Roman,

im so upset i cant even tell you

Roman.

don’t be upset okay? Just focus on what you’re doing there, and it’ll all be okay. I’m fine. It’s okay.

I got ahead of myself because I love des so much.

Aaron.

you're not ahead, Ali is behind

Roman.

but she’s right, I’m not her parent. Maybe one day I will be, but I’m not right now.

Aaron.

but you love her like one

Roman.

I do, and that won’t change.

I can wait.

Aaron.

im so upset roman i cant even tell you

im so sorry

this is all my fault

Roman.

no it’s not

I knew Alison was uncomfortable with me being so involved from the beginning, and I did it anyway

Aaron.

bc it's irrational as fuck

Roman.

Aaron it’s not. I mean, maybe I feel a little bad that she feels this way about me, and not Luca, but she doesn’t know me as well as she wants to yet. Idk, I’m trying to understand here. I just don’t want you two to fight over me.

Aaron.

that's what im saying. she's being such a fucking hypocrite

Luca's a fucking criminal

and he gets to spend the whole day with my daughter

she thinks because she's having his baby that that someone invalidates that we've actually been together more than luca and alison have

Roman.

she must see something in him we haven’t been able to yet.

Aaron.

fuck that.

she's being such a bitch

Roman.

don’t say that

Aaron.

am i wrong

Roman.

I don’t think she has ill intentions here. She’s just a little blinded right now.

Aaron.

she's so stubborn

she always thinks she right

im so damn sick of it, i've let it slide for so many years

and i know she thinks she's a better parent than me

Roman.

Aaron no she doesn’t, come on.

Aaron.

she’d never admit it but she does

look at her now. Thinking she knows what’s best for Des and not taking what I have to say into consideration

Roman.

she’s just upset right now, maybe she’ll be thinking clearer tomorrow.

Aaron.

if I wasnt locked you this wouldn’t be flying

* up

Roman.

it’s okay.

Aaron.

it’s literally not

Roman.

listen to me. I need you to breathe. Relax for a minute. I’m okay, we’re okay. Everything is okay, and will continue to be okay.

Aaron.

I know you are more upset than you’re letting on

Roman.

I’m upset, but it is what it is right now. Im on my way to the airport and I can’t let myself get too worked up about it at the moment. I just have faith it’ll all work out.

Aaron.

Roman.

I just

I don’t know

I don’t want to get you any more upset before getting on your flight

Roman.

why? Did something else happen?August 27, 2020

Aaron.

no I just still want to go off about this

bc it’s bullshit but I’ll stop

for now

Roman.

Aaron nothing is going to get solved with anger though

Aaron.

not now

Roman.

what?

Aaron.

if I were in New York this would be different

Roman.

maybe it’s good that you’re not. Everyone needs to calm down.

Aaron.

I feel like I can’t breathe

Roman.

Aaron.

Facetime calls Aaron and waits for him to pick up while sitting outside the airport

Aaron.

answers “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Roman.

“I needed to see you to determine that for myself.” blinks, and then takes in a ragged breath while running a hand over his face

Aaron.

clears his throat and wipes his puffy eyes, takes a deep breath “I’m fine.”

Roman.

“You’re clearly not fine. Babe...” looks over the screen, and sighs “You’ve been crying. Please don’t cry...it’s going to be okay. I promise you.”

Aaron.

just tries not to break down in front of Roman because he knows he’s having a hard time with this news. Takes a deep breath “This is so fucked.”

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

“Baby.” looks over screen with concerned expression, wishing more than anything he wasn’t so far away. “Aaron. Listen to me. Alison is going through a lot of stress, she will come around. What’s important right now is that you focus on your recovery, and I will take care of the rest. Alison and I will work this out. You two are too sensitive right now to come to an intelligent conclusion right now. And then on down the line, everything will work itself out between you two as well, between all of us.”

Aaron.

“I’m just...” aaron hangs his head and covers his face with his free hand, taking slow, shaky breaths “I can’t lose either of you. Oh my god...” he attempts to steady his breath again “I know the intelligent conclusion. She’s being irrational.”

Roman.

if Roman could climb through the screen right now, he would. “Aaron, you’re not going to lose anyone. Ali isn’t going anywhere, and neither am I. We’re all going to work on this together. look at me.” he tilts his head, and sucks both lips into his mouth, trying not to cry. “Everyone gets irrational sometimes. Ali is a good person, and she’s not dumb. She’ll come around, and we’ll find a solution that works for everyone.”

Aaron.

takes a deep breath in another attempt to steady his shaky breath. He sniffles, rubs his eyes then Finally looks back at camera at his man “Okay”. he looks at Ro and prays he doesn’t start crying “I just don’t know...and Roman told was just awful. I haven’t been this depressed since my dad died. It’s so hard here. And I want a drink so damn bad. And Ali just... unable to hide his tears, he lets a few tears fall “made this so much worse.”

Roman.

looks worried, eyes darting back and forth as he tries to think of how to fix this situation. “Do I need to come get you? Is there anyone you can talk to right now?”

Aaron.

puts his head between his knees and lets out a few more sobs, looks back up into the camera yeah — I...no you don’t have to come get me... not yeah. But yeah...I can go outside and talk with a counselor now.” he looks towards the door

Roman.

nods, and tries to keep himself together just like he had all night, knowing what Aaron really needed right now was stability. “Okay baby. Go talk to a counselor, and then text me. I don’t board for another couple hours. Okay? I love you.”

Aaron.

sighs, thinks about how grateful he is for Roman “thank you. I love you, too. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’m sorry.”

August 27 - 2am EST

Roman.

hope you’re okay. I’m boarding my plane.

Aaron.

yeah

she talked to me for a while hour

Roman.

are you feeling any better?

Aaron.

a little

I’m just exhausted now

have a safe flight babe.

Roman.

okay. I’ll let you get some rest then.

Aaron.

I hope you sleep on the plane

are you okay

Roman.

as long as you are.

Aaron.

I’m not. But I’m fine for now.

Roman.

okay

well try and get some sleep then.

I love you.

Aaron.

I love you

#discord #text #text: roman

2 notes · View notes

mieczyhale · 4 years

Text

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

5 notes · View notes

lovelyparkers · 4 years

Text

my bday special random head canons with peter!

hi it's my birthday!!! as promised i'm writing a bunch of headcanon requests and they will all be here in this chapter MWAH <3 yuh let's get into it

-so first off my fave request

-so ur an avenger on a mission in the snowy mountains

-you and peter are teamed up ofc

-being you, you decide to get way too into the battle and not care about your own well-being

-peters yelling at you like

-"YOU BETTER NOT GET HURT"

-and

-"IF U DIE I WILL KILL YOU"

-but he really does care about u and he's scared asf

-anyways so

-you get hurt

-basically some creature

-who the fuck knows

-launched you in the air and into the freezing snow and knocked you out

-peter couldn't find you and immediately got nervous

-he was able to track you down with stark's tech and dig you out of the snow where you were lowkey freezing to death ok

-he pulls you up into his arms and holds you tight and starts crying because he doesn't know if you'll make it

-he swings over to the cabin tony bought just for the mission

-because we all know tony is extra asf

-bruce checks you up to see if anything's broken

-it's not

-you most likely just have a concussion and knocked out for awhile

-peter carries you bridal style to the living room where the fire is blazing

-he sits on the couch with you in his lap

-you have layers of warm clothes on

-he strokes your hair and makes sure your head stays up comfortably

-he wanted to be there when you woke up duh

-and when you do wake up your really confused and have a headache

-but when you recognize peter you automatically feel safe :)

-and he's like crying again bc he's so glad you woke up but also mad at you for going crazy

-he'll squeeze your hand a lot and cup your cheek to make sure you're actually there

-and he'll say "you scared the crap out of me y/n. don't do that ever again. promise me?"

-you promise and just cuddle into his side

-he presses several kisses to your head

-and you him in response

-u two just hold each other so close

-babies!

-okay next one!!

-SECRET DATING AS AVENGERS

-i LOVE this

-AIGHT

-after meeting peter you ask HIM out and ofc he says yes

-you guys totally hit it off ok

-like theirs just natural chemistry between you guys

-there's so much flirting and you get to know each other while having a picnic on the rooftop garden

-MWAH LOVE

-he kisses you on the second date and you m e l t

-and gosh he's so pretty like hot damn

-from then on you guys become a couple

-secretly

-because we ALL know the avengers love to tease

-especially sam, bucky, and tony

-nat would be here for it tho let's be honest

-you go to her for boy advice and she's so chill and begs you to tell her who u like

-she probably knows it's peter tho bc she's smart

-ANYWAYS

-you have to try really hard to keep it a secret

-and that's not easy living with the avengers

-you find yourself holding hands and then tony will walk in whatever room to get you guys for a mission and you pull apart real quick

-another time you and peter were in the movie room

-CUDDLING

-like awe

-you were cuddling duh and just holding each other

-sharing kisses every now and then

-your head was on his shoulder and his arm was around you

-then bucky and sam walked in

-with popcorn tho

-and you and peter scooted away from each other real quick when he heard the door open

-sam would tease u guys anyway

-"what's up guys? confess your love yet?"

-and bucky would be like

-"pretty sure we heard you guys making out a second ago"

-they obviously didn't hear or see anything but like to tease the only teenagers who always flirted

-but OH GOSH

-ONE TIME

-it was late at night

-like LATE late

-peter snuck into ur room ofc

-and you guys were just sitting on your bed making out right

-hands in each other's hair

-lip biting

-all that good stuff

-and nat just barges on because she knows u never sleep and likes to just talk with you or play a game or watch a movie

-this time u forgot to lock the door

-and she screams

-you jump up off peters lap and shut the door after pulling her in

-"i knew it i knew it!"

-she's smiling though and laughing

-shes genuinely happy u two are together

-but peters all blushing

-and shy

-because you guys just got caught making out by an adult

-she'll ask you a bunch of questions too

-and ur like "nAt u cant tell aNyBoDy pLEaSe"

-she promises bc she knows it's not her place

-shes great at keeping secrets bc she's an ex assassin

-but she's very happy for u guys and tells u to always be safe and all

-then you and peter go back to making out hehe

-ok my fave requested this next one hi ily

-ALL NIGHTERS W PETER WOULD BE THE BEST

-LIKE LITERALLY

-also this is best friend peter who has feeling for you but doesn't want to admit it so ur just friends but he loves u and u secretly love him

-so this is still avenger!reader bc u guys know i'm a hoe for this shit

-"i mean i'm not a slut but who knows"

-so u guys have a lot of energy one day bc u got a day off from training since tony and steve were out all day

-u slept in that day and could NOT fall asleep the next night

-u and peter had been texting late at night

-it's like midnight i'll say

-and u tell him to meet you in the grand kitchen

-so u bring urself and a blanket and run down to the kitchen in your pyjamas

-shorts and one of peters tee shirts hehe it's summer and it's hot!

-peter walks in with a big smile on his face and just wearing some shorts

-that is all

-yes

-ok so you dig into the freezer and get ice cream out for u guys

-i cant have dairy ahahha rip

-off track but let's go

-peter gets the spoons and you don't even say a word bc this is just how it always goes

-you migrate toward the living room and flip down on the couch side by side

-he is very close to you

-bare arms touching

-PREMARITAL ARM TOUCHING???????

-sorry

-he just groans bc he's bored as he hands you a spoon

-u guys always talk and eat ice cream

-passing the tub around

-peter eventually says something dumb

-like u know when u pull all nighters w ur friends and it gets to that point of the night when someone says something really dumb or weird and everyone just loses it?

-this ALWAYS happens with you two

-he deadass says something like

-"i think we have the same size feet"

-and you start cackling bc what the fuck

-"y/n no hold up ur foot to mine"

-so u do bc why not

-u do not have the same size feet ❤️

-but wow how intimate

-jk

-but you honestly CANNOT with this boy

-so you flick a blob of ice cream at his nose

-and it just immediately drips down onto his chest bc he tries to look down at his nose

-so now there's ice cream on his bArE cHEsT

-like that's hot

-jk idk u decide

-and he is literally whining

-"y/nnnnnnn what the hell?"

-ur just laughing softly but admiring his toned abs and chest

-"want me to lick it off for you?"

-peter just freezes not believing the words that just came out of your mouth

-"uhhhhh"

-he's stuttering and mumbling and BLUSHING SO MUCH

-he don't know what to do

-you laugh and say "KIDDING"

-bc again u say weird shit in the middle of the night

-u get up and get a paper towel tho

-peter is still very flustered

-kinda wishing u did

-but you come back and lean a hand on his shoulder and start cleaning the ice cream off his chest for him

-and he's just looking up at you bc

-god ur so pretty and ur practically on top of him rn

-peter probably gets horny i'm the middle of the night too let's be honest here

-but after that moment where peter felt like he was the main character

-everything is fine now and you continue talking

-eventually u turn on a movie and lay your head in peters lap

-much to his surpRisE

-and just watch the movie together

-he like doesn't know where to put his hands

-so he just lays on over ur waist

-he cant stop staring at u bc omg ur laying on his lap and omg ur so pretty and ahhhh

-when u laugh it makes him tremble

-and when the sun starts coming up u guys make pancakes and like

-y'all still aren't tired

-and ofc u spend the day together then eventually crash on the couch on top of each other

-it's very cute and tony takes pictures

-okay now for my own lil idea

-PETER WOULD BE THE BEST PERSON ON UR BIRTHDAY

-like the amount of love he would show u

-immaculate

-so ofc he would sleep over the night before bc he's in love ok

-u guys watch movies and cuddle and kiss

-at midnight he throws confetti on you and blows a horn

-he says hbd like a million times

-and he gives you a long passionate kiss mwah

-cuddles cuddles cuddles

-u sleep in each other's arms

-peter wakes up early before you to make ur fave breakfast

-he's practiced cooking so it's perfect for ur special day

-he presents it all pretty too

-then he goes to wake you up

-because you always told him to wake you up when he gets up so you can spend time together

-ur like that

-and he loves it

-he wakes you up by pressing kisses all over your face

-and rubbing your arm and fixing your hair

-you wake up with a sleepy smile and he just melts he's in love

-you give him a big hug and kiss his cheek

-then he tells you about breakfast

-he helps you walk to the table while covering ur eyes bc SURPRISE

-peter's presentation is very much adequate

-he has little gift bags lined up for you

-and balloons

-and streamers

-he just wants to make you feel so special :,)

-ur so grateful for him

-you give him big hug and kiss again bc UR IN LOVE TOO

-you sit together and eat and peter makes you open his gifts

-he made some homemade gifts too because how heartfelt it that

-he gets you one really nice present

-and a bunch of little ones like snacks

-maybe an inside joke gift

-AND PROBABLY SPIDER-MAN UNDERWEAR AS A JOKE

-you guys just burst out laughing when you open it and it's so cute

-he's just admiring you

-you spend the day either going on walks

-having a nice date

-or just staying in together

-lots of cuddles again of course

-peter parker is a cuddler

-ALSO

-MAKING OUT

-a must

-like ugh i yearn for bday makeouts

-he takes care of u so well phew

-it's very intimate and hot and passionate let's be honest

-MJ AND NED BUST IN YOUR APARTMENT WHILE UR MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH

-ned just screams

-mj was like "really? y'all knew we were coming over"

-but she's soft for u

-gives u the best hug and tells u hbd

-you guys have a mario kart tournament bc that's really fun

-snack snacks snacks

-the four of you have cake and they make u so happy

-after ned and mj leave it's more peter time

-yum

-more making out

-maybe sumn else😳

-he treats u very good to say the least

-overall it's a lovely birthday and peter is the best ok

thank u guys so much for the birthday wishes <3 i seriously don't deserve you guys ur all so sweet!!! hope u enjoyed this lil hc special mwah!

2 notes · View notes