#idk i've had a lot of feelings for awhile and i needed to let it out

[feralkwe]

thinky thoughts

i was driving home with a friend yesterday, a friend i've had almost 20 years now, who was my very first internet friend in the early aughts when feminist blogging was in its heyday and who has become an irl friend now that i've moved to the mainland. she has functioned as a big sister in my life all this time. i love her to pieces, and my life has significantly improved with her in it.

we were talking about how weird it is to think the age our children were when we met, and the ways their lives and our lives have changed over the course of our friendship. we both started out single mothers stuck in poverty, and had our respective journeys out of those circumstances during which we've been supportive to one another, helping each other out when we had the means to do so. we've veered in and out of connected interests. i'm a gamer, she's never been into games and more often than not has no idea what i'm talking about. i have no grasp of interior design or fashion, and she has a knack for these things. but we take interest enough to appreciate what these things mean to each other. we've had disagreements and even fights over the years, but at the end of it we found the relationship to be worth the work you put in to maintaining it.

i met my best friends over fifteen years ago through fandom. we formed a fast kinship out of what we joke to be our objectively correct fandom opinions, mostly about the same character from that fandom. over the course of time we've wandered out of overlapping fandoms, supporting one another in our interests even though we didn't share them. i've read some of their fic in those fandoms. i've reblogged art of characters i know nothing about. we find dumb ways to show our interest in their interest. we found the connections beneath the fandoms, the human bonds, and built something enduring and beautiful that i can honestly say i could not be the person i am today without. even when we eventually fell into the same fandom again, we wound up engaging with it in very different ways. but we support each other, gently rib one another over "being wrong" and realize that at the end of the day, those things are ephemeral. our friendship endures.

i met my spouse almost 20 years ago, about the same time i met my big sister. we met through a job, both having come from backgrounds of poverty. we both enjoyed gaming (he started me on my first mmo), but quickly discovered we like very different games, but even when we play the same games we engage with them in very different ways. we share almost no other interests. he likes action movies, i like dumb comedies. he listens to goth and rockabilly, and i'm a classic rock and pop princess. he's read about a third of one of three of my original novels, one of my published shorts stories (he helped me work out the science i used) and (thank fuck) none of my fanfiction. but he shares my work with others, listens to me natter on about games he doesn't play, and we even will watch movies together because we enjoy time together, and i like to bite him at random intervals to keep it real and go with him to look at parts for his bike.

my point (i actually have one) is that in order to build long-term relationships you have to find the connections beyond the fleeting. you remember that your big sis loves pink lipstick so you send her a trinket bowl shaped like pink lips, or that 'none pizza with left beef' makes your spouse lose it until they cry laughing. that one of your besties has a laugh that carries over even your own loud one making music of the two of you, and the other will chase canada gooses with abandon until you fall in the grass in delight. you smile when they talk about their favorite actual play podcast and squeal over their tattoo that is inspired by an anime you've never seen. you bring up old shit to drag them and never let them live down the goofs that made you all laugh until you cried. you send them dumb cards or plants when their life is hard and you can't be there to make them soup when they're sick. you do these things because you love them. you love them for all the bits and pieces that comprise their whole even when those things don't align with your own. you might find the initial connection in the shared interests, but you build bonds separate from those through the commonality of your humanity.

relationships, platonic, not, and familial, take work. you have to put in effort. you don't have to like the same things, but you do have to have room to allow those varied and separate interests to shine in who they are. you take delight in their joy and share comfort in their sorrow. you talk to them. you reach out to them. you show that they matter to you more than your differences. that's love. that's something that endures.

[ci3n]

could you do a scenario or headcannons upp to you with Luci for when mc leaves him for like a few months or sumn idk maybe back to the human world like what would he do!!! love the way you write him btw ♡♡

when mc goes away for awhile

➺ with lucifer

note. i love writing for him sm so it makes me really happy that u like it, thank youu :))

He’s very reluctant to let you go alone. He really wants to go with you but he has a lot of work that is already building up, so taking a few days off would just make it worse.

Once you're gone, he becomes more irritable than before. He thinks he is hiding it well, but everyone can see that he is increasingly agitated and worried, losing his temper easily, and snapping at everyone.

His brothers had it the worst and they’re calling you begging for you to come back and get a hold of your man.

Nights are the worst for him, he has a really hard time falling asleep without you in his arms so he usually spends most of it in the study or at his office immersing himself more in his work.

He won’t take his eyes off his phone, waiting for your call or a message—literally anything; he just needs to know you’re safe. When you do call, he’s so happy, but tries his best to hide the excitement in his voice.

will feign ignorance if you ask him about the stuff his brothers complain to you about.

"What do you mean I'm "torturing" them? I don't understand why they would accuse me of such things; I've never been nicer."

"I see, mammon called and cried to you, did he? I’ll talk to him about that later. Now tell me about you, my love. How are you doing?"

The day you’re scheduled to arrive Lucifer can’t focus on anything else; he’s just so happy. It feels as though you’re returning after years, even if it’s just been a month or so. He can't wait to have you back in his arms.

He refuses to let you go anywhere after you get back; don't think about leaving his side, even for a moment.

[firegirl888101]

how would the harbingers react to a reader who's good at drawing? like, they like to draw the harbingers or other things

Good at drawing?

I'm shit at drawing so I'm not really sure what to say, that's why I didn't reply to this for awhile. But, I eventually got a couple things when my friend was sketching some stuff in front of me.

Sorry that the current Insatiable Madness chapter is taking so long, I've been studying a lot these past couple of days.

I also got another ask where it asked about Halloween. I don't really celebrate Halloween, because I never grew up with it. I've always been too shy to trick-or-treat and I didn't have many friends (and still don't) who'd want to go with me. Quite sad actually, but it's alright. I don't think I missed out on much.

Is anyone expecting me to make a Halloween special? I don't mind doing it, but I'll need inspiration as I wouldn't know where to start 💀

Actually, the more I think about it, I do have one fun idea. (Harbingers going trick-or-treating??? Halloween party if that even exists? Idk, I'll have to do some research.)

|You can take this with Yandere and without - some will probably lean towards yan though.|

So, to begin with:

Pierro wouldn't be too bothered. I feel if Y/N had a skill they were confident in, and wanted to show it, he'd let his curiousity get the better of him and check it out. But, if it's something like drawing he'll probably leave a comment then leave. Whether it's positive or negative, you be the judge. This man is like a slate slab. No personality I'm sorry 😭😭 (When I see more of his character, maybe I'll like him more?)

If you were to draw this man, he'd be humbled. A Grandpa who received his very first present from his grandchild. Would definitely frame the damn thing in his office (which originally was your parent's) he'd put it on the desk. It's his office now, don't argue for it back.

Capitano would show interest. Not too much since he's the main captain of the Fatui, but still interested. If he's bored, or deems the 'fort' (the house) safe, he'll sit down with you and watch what you're doing. Occasionally asking you if he could doodle with you - but I think that would be very rare. His main objective in his mind is guarding you when your own is low whilst you're having fun, doodling or drawing something.

Would 100% deny the picture of him at first. He'd think, that looks like me, but it can't be. Yes, it's him, you'd reassure. Eventually he does take it and folds it in his coat. After that, he'd probably leave the room in embarrassment. Since then on, he'd definitely keep all drawings you've made of him in his pocket. There's too many? Let's put it in the second pocket. That's full too? Looks like he's buying a new coat. Oh? There's room in his military coat he hasn't worn in two years? That'll do just nicely.

Dottore would be intrigued if he saw you practice anatomy - or if you drew more of a gorey scene. I think he'd be even more interested if you liked to draw the human body with extra things (such as arms, legs, eyes or even got rid of a few), and question you on your design choices and if it already exists somewhere. (He's not fooling you, he's obviously taking inspirations for a new experiment). If he didn't know, or wasn't good, he'd probably ask for tips on how to sketch ideas like yours. He reassures you it's not for any experimentation but once again, he's not fooling you at all.

If you were to draw him he'd treat it like glass. Nobody has ever given him a sketch before - bonus points if you draw him injured whilst you're angry with him. He'd treat it as if you drew him with love, and not as if you'd stab him in the heart if you ever got the chance. What do you mean he shouldn't like it this much? It's a work of art! He'd be very quick to correct the drawing if you got anything wrong. Who knows what this man has in his body at this point.

Columbina would join you in your drawing activities. Maybe add some glitter if you have any. The second you complain about cleaning up, however, she has somehow disappeared and has become very forgetful about the events upstairs. 'How curious!~' She would hum to herself with her usual smile. Is definitely the type to ask if you could draw her. Who are you to refuse? Especially when she gives you that look of daunt hope and kindness which makes you drop your pen in fear. Before you can give her an answer, you've already picked up your pencil and began to sketch her beautiful headpiece.

When Columbina receives her multiple sketches, she's overjoyed. Oh, look how you drew this part! How you drew her clothes! She's quick to kiss you on the cheek as a thank you and runs off somewhere. Huh, you feel like you've just been used.

Arlecchino will roll her eyes at first. She's seen many children in the hearth draw for her. Her initial thoughts were vague, she didn't really see much of your hobby. That was until she actually saw what you were drawing. She would stare as you worked, your pencil delicately brushing against the paper you most likely bought the other day. It soon will become a habit to watch you work, becoming a therapeutic source for her. She sometimes questions why you're drawing... certain things, but she wouldn't actually stop your creative mind from working.

Handing Arlecchino the drawing you drew of her would make her blood rise to her cheeks slightly. Sure, she's received a lot of gifts in this sense before. But from you? What an honour! She'll accept it with a soft smile she'd usually show the kids, and pat your head treating you like one. Little do you know she's trying so hard to control her cute agression response by not tearing the paper.

Pulcinella would react very similarly to Pierro. However, he'd have more experience with complimenting and encouraging 'a child' in a hobby they're having fun with. If he saw your skill, he'd probably compliment it whole-heartedly with a chuffed smile. Massaging his mustache like some aristocrat, in the 1940s... Anyway, he'd be very pleased when he watches you draw more and more. He's happy that you're spending your time doing something you like under the tense situation his coworkers (and him, but he doesn't like to admit it) have brought upon you.

I do not see you drawing this man at all. He's a short, dobby, old, looking as man. I don't see him as the type to ask either, at all. He's minding his own business in your house and plans to keep it that way until the situation is resolved.

Scaramouche really doesn't care. We've all got our own likes and dislikes, but he's not bothered about yours. Will most likely purposefully pass by you working on a piece and insult it just to get attention. He'd never actually mean it though - he just never tells you that important fact. As time progresses he'll sneak into your room just to look at more sketches or finished drawings you've done, and assess your progress from each year if you've been practicing for a long time-period.

Now, here's where things get interesting. If you were to draw him and never show it to him, said puppet finding it for himself in one of your drawers, he'd first feel angry. Why wouldn't you show him this? It's of him! ...But then he'd quickly realise it's because of the way he treated you when you were working (oops). If you actually handed it to him and let him keep it, he'd be delighted. You actually drew him? He didn't even have to manipu-- he means 'ask' you to draw him? This is a good step forward to where he wants to be in your heart.

Sandrone would be delighted to know that she's finally found a use for you in her head. She never thought that purposefully walking past you one evening would lead to her shuffling through all the sketches and designs you've done with awe. Where did you get this idea from? How can she recreate it? Would you be happier and more devoted to her if she were to make your dreams true? She digresses. Watching your creative little mind draw your ideas to life inspires her also, and makes her want to recruit you as a special exception to the 'no non-artificial beings' allowed in her workshop. Thinking of all the monstrosities you could design with her help sends pleasurable shivers up her spine.

Drawing her, however? This was rather unprecedented. Out of all the things-- no, people you could have drawn... and you decide on her? And ooh! You even drew her slave she likes to travel around on, how thoughtful, you're already expressing your adoration for her works! Trust me, don't draw her. You'll give her daydreams that will never happen.

Signora, like most of the harbingers, wouldn't care at first. She hates your house and hates your world, why in Teyvat's name would she be interested in what you're doing? That's what she used to think, until her arrogant slick eyes caught sight of what exactly you were drawing. In my opinion, there's only a couple things that would interest Signora. Drawing dresses, if you were interested in fashion designing, would definitely be the main one. Viewing your designs after you finished them would soon become a small hobby for her, and soon, she'd eventually ask you to draw her in one of your designs.

You'd say yes, of course. An excuse to draw a drop-dead gorgeous woman in one of your designs for free? No way you were going to pass this opportunity! For her hard work in modeling, you'd definitely pay back twice and give her a drawing of her in her harbinger uniform too - which I think would flatter her a bit too much.

Pantalone wouldn't care, and would never become interested. He's a very rich and successful banker, not any ordinary man. As soon as he sees you drawing somewhere in the house, he'll shrug and go the opposite way. He knows what it's like to be interrupted through a thoughtful process, and he doesn't feel like getting an earful from you if he interrupts it. What he does think about, however, is if you're making money from it. Maybe an online business. He asks, and receives a very disappointing answer. No? What do you mean no? These are good, he'd pay for a portrait! Well, if Mora was a usable currency here. Ugh, the thought of being a poor man in this world makes him disgusted.

Drawing him would result in lots of praise. He'd be very happy you used your own time to draw him. He didn't even have to pay for it, it was gift! You even said so yourself. Immediately taken from your hands and framed somewhere. You can't seem to find the drawing though... Pantalone insists it's still in the house, but no matter where you look you just can't find it! Oh well, it's probably better you didn't know where it went. (You would have never been able to find it, he hid the location so well after all.) Pantalone told you he'd give something back to you as a thank you, but you're not holding him to his word.

Tartaglia would be interested the second he sees you doing something he hasn't seen you do before. That looks interesting, let him give drawing a try! He'd boast how his siblings love his drawings he creates, but you knew he was lying to set a cheery mood. Your understanding was backed when you actually saw his 'Amazing Drawing'... It was embarrassing to say the least. He would heed all your little tips and eventually get good at drawing from your guidance! I can see him as the type to use these skills later for his siblings, and as the type to continue drawing even if you begin to get bored of it... He's skilled with his fingers after all-- okay I'm sorry I'm done.

Drawing him can go one in two ways. I see him as someone who will whine about being drawn. He'll say: 'Have you drawn me yet?' in one of the most annoying voices he cna muster. He knows and understands you find it annoying when he asks you to draw him, so he's found a loophole. Just keep asking questions related to it until you get the hint! ...You got the hint weeks ago, but you're refusing to do it. Well, you're refusing to show him your drawings you've already finished and hid out of sight. Showing him these drawings would make him really happy! Would fold his favourite and carry it around with him everywhere like some of the other harbingers. His next commission he's planned to ask you is of a drawing of Capitano. You eagerly declined, not wishing to impose on the Captain's privacy.

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[wildissylupus]

Share us your wisdom of the Overwatch cookbook

Alright so let's get started on the little bits of lore sprinkled in this book! In the book the recipes are separated into continents so I'll do the same here.

Also please not this book came out awhile ago so many characters are not going to be included. I am forever asking for a new cook book everyday.

I'm only really going to get into the descriptions but if people want I can analyse the recipes themselves, but I think you would need to specify the specific character.

Anyway let's get into it!!

The Americas

Cassidy

Cassidy always got Carne Adovada when he was in New Mexico, he specifically got it from this whole-in-the-wall on Route 66 just outside Albuquerque. It also states that he got a "hearty serving" of it.

Cassidy often has Bizcochitos when celebrating or just when he's having a break. It also seems like he enjoys them specifically because they remind him of home. I personally read that as they were something his family made pre-crisis.

Cassidy's cocktail of choice is called "Deadeye", it's sold at the Calaveras bar. It contains four black tea bags and four ounces of bourbon. making it like that gives you two servings. Also the description of this drink implies that Cassidy regularly put bourbon in his coffee.

The drinks name being "Deadeye" could imply that the bartender named it after Cassidy. The description of Deadeye also comfirms that Cassidy is a regular at Calaveras.

Ashe

Corn pudding is a comfort food for Ashe, B.O.B often makes it after a heist has gone sideways. She also eats it after every encounter with Cassidy. B.O.B makes it without being asked.

Ashe doesn't like a lot of deserts because of her parents neglect and the amount of bad birthday's she's had, however, Orange Crème Caramel, a flan dessert, is one or the few deserts she likes, even calling it one of her favourites.

Ashe's choice of drink to unwind with after a long day of running the Deadlock gang is Texas fizz. It also seems like her drinks of choice are more on the fizzy side.

None of her recipes imply that she cooks anything herself.

Soldier 76

Jack and Ana often made pancakes in the morning before Overwatch collapsed, Jack often adding cinnamon and orange zest to the batter to give it more flavour. When asked Jack would say the flavour would give the pancakes a little extra pick-me-up first thing in the mourning.

Jack's family had a meatloaf night and a chicken-and-biscuits Sunday.

Jack often makes an old family recipe when he's feeling wistful, specifically he makes a "Tater Tot hot dish", it basically a shepherd's pie with potato gems (tater tots) instead of mash potato. The reason he makes this dish specifically is because of how flexible it is, allowing him to use whatever meat and veg is on hand.

Before he and Vincent broke up Jack tended to make Hoosier Sugar Cream Pie for them both during the rare peaceful weekends.

The 76 was a milkshake Jack used to get after working on his families farm in the summer.

He grew up in Bloomington, Indiana. (idk if that's been mentioned anywhere else)

From all the recipes he has I think it's safe to say that Jack has a sweet tooth (like seriously all the recipes have a ungodly amount of sugar, even the tater tot one-)

Reaper

Reyes go to breakfast is a Breakfast Quesadilla, something that he has always made even when growing up in Los Angeles.

Even as Reaper he can still eat regular food, something I have seen people ask if he can still do.

In the early OW days Ana, Jack and Gabe often sat down and shared some churros. His go to food after a rough day is Chili Con Queso.

Reyes made his own cocktail, called the "Scythe", to drink after a difficult Blackwatch mission, such as the Venice Incident... when I say there is a lot of alcohol in this drink I mean it-

Sombra

Molletes are Sombra's go to food while she's working (I've made this recepie and same girl same)

Sombra's Sopa Azteca recepie implies one of two things about her, one she was taken in by a family at some point, or two she managed to get a home on her own when she was a kid. My bet is on the former since it's implied she doesn't really make it herself. Though this does seem to be a comfort food from her childhood.

Sombra likes Conchas and it's implied that she gets them from the Bakery Alejandra and her mother work at/own.

Sombra favouite cocktail is the Dorado Sunset, something that seems to be a common cocktail in Dorado but the Bartender at Calaveras makes the recepie shown in the cookbook specifically for her. This confirms what it does for Cassidy and that is the fact that they are both regulars.

Lucio

Lucio's go to snack is Pao De Queijo.

Lucio tends to go fishing, or that at least what his Moqueca recipe description reads to me.

Lucio's father made him Brigadeiros on his birthday, leading to Lucio considering them a very special treat.

(in all honesty the descriptions for Lucio's recepies are small and don't really reveal much so-)

Africa

Ana

Ana never learned how to cook because of missions and training, so her go to meals were salad and soups.

Most of the recipes Ana did know were recipes she made for or with Fareeha.

The descriptions of Ana's recipes never mention Sam, only ever mentioning sharing these recipes with Fareeha, further signifying that Ana and Sam are divorced though it seems to me that it was earlier in Fareeha's life then I initially thought.

Pharah

Baked Kibbeh is a recepie she learned from Ana and after Ana's "death" it was a comfort food for her.

Canadian Butter tarts are something that both Fareeha and her father bond over and often share during the holidays.

This is were Cassidy and Sam's relationship is described as "complicated". It's also implied that Pharah was often sent to spend the holidays with Sam, meaning Ana seemingly had majority custody over Fareeha.

Sometimes, Pharah dreams of just sitting down with her mother and sharing a glass of Sahlab.

Doomfist

Doomfist seems to be similar to Ashe in being implied to just... not cook for himself.

Before missions he eats a bowl of Jollof rice, something he did bac when he was doing martial arts.

When he was a kid his favourite sweet was shuku shuku.

Doomfist considers gin over rum because it's more sophisticated.

Orisa

Puff Puff's are one of Efi's go to foods, they are also mentioned a lot in the Hero of Numbani novel.

Efi made a Sundae inspired off of Orisa.

Efi's go to drink when working is hibiscus tea.

Europe

Tracer

Lena comfort food is Sticky Toffee Pudding, she often makes it whens she's feeling low to remind herself of what she's fighting for.

Lena's favourite meal is fish and chips, specifically the ones from Bell's Fish and Chips.

Lena and Emily like to share Battenberg cake, usually after a date at the movies.

Lena got a Primm's cocktail renamed after her after her efforts in restoring peace after the Kings Row Uprising. The drink was renamed the Cavalry Charge and it is something even Torb enjoys. Though he does mutter to himself that he should have never given her that catchphrase.

Moira

Moira's go to breakfast is a Full Irish Breakfast washed down with a cup of coffee

Moira and her family had regular Sunday Family Dinners, to the point were Guinness Stew is a comfort food for her. It is something she makes when she's craving the warmth and comfort of home.

Moira makes Barmbrack after a day in the lab though she sometimes changes the original recipe to fit with the tastes of Oasis, implying that she sometimes shares this dish with her colleagues there.

Torbjorn

Torbjorns favourite thing to cook is kroppkakor because how easy it is to tinker with.

Ingrid is a chemical engineer and she a very inquisitive, something she passed down to Brigitte, and to the surprise of no one her apple pie the favourite of one Angela Zeigler.

Brigitte

Toast Skagen seems to be her go to brain food, often eating it when she's working on something.

Brigitte like donuts, but not more then semlor buns.

Brigs go to drink is the Saft Drink, however she often changes the recipe to include a variety of different things each time, only ever using a template to help her make the drink.

Widowmaker

Widow often cooks herself since she is now living in her the abandoned Château Gilliard, one of her go to meals is Vichyssoise, which she finds fitting due to it being served cold.

Gratin Dauphinois was a favourite of Amelie and Gerard's, now she only really eats it for sustenance.

Widow loves pavlova, both when she was Amelie and even now as Widowmaker. She often eats it after a successful mission.

It's implied in the desciption of her "Widows Kiss" drink that she drinks it at the end of every day, she likes the bite of the drink.

Reinhardt

To no ones surprise Reinhardt eats a lot.

Kasespatzle is a comfort food for Reinhardt, often eating either for his own enjoyment or because he is feeling discouraged.

One of the things that help Reinhardt remember the possotive memories he has in Eichenwalde is the cake that is made there.

Reinhardt is a loud but fun drunk.

Bastion

Bastion likes Bird-Shaped Pretzels

Bastion knows how to make treats for birds.

Mercy

Mercy's go to meal is Bircher Muesli, she often recomends it to patients and even made Genji eat it while he was in recovery. Though he seemed to have not enjoy it at the beginning he has since grown to like it.

Like Cassidy, Angela takes enjoyment in eating cookies while taking a break or just when she's feeling overwhelmed, her favourite cookie is the Basler Brunsli.

Angela often mixes brandy in with her tea after a life-threatening ordeal.

Australia

Junkrat

Junkertown has a local burger called, well, Junkertown loaded Burger, which is one of Junkrats favourite meals.

Honestly these recipes confirm my belief that Junckrat should not be allowed near a kitchen.

Junkrat like Boba, idk if this is in his emote or not but it's not just a little reference, Junkrat just likes boba.

Roadhog

Roadhog often makes snack mixes because he and Junkrat never really have time for a full meal.

Roadhog used to be a farmer before the crisis, from this time fairy bread has become a comfort food.

Asia

Genji

Genji and Hanzo both loved the Rikimaru ramen shop when they were younger, often challenging eachother to see who could eat the spiciest bowl. Though Genji has made peace with his past those happy days with his bother still weigh heavily on him.

Soba-cha custard was something invented by the Shimada chef as a way to reward Genji and Hanzo for studying. Genji used to eat his on the roof of Shimada castle in order to look over the rest of Hanamura.

Green Dragon Tea seems to be something Genji made while he was under the teachings of Zenyatta.

Hanzo

Hanzo seemingly doesn't know how to cook complex meals like the ones he used to eat with the Shimada clan, right now he often eats simplistic dishes like Tamago Kake Gohan.

When he was younger Hanzo would have Shimada Tempura to reward himself after getting all his jobs done, his doesn't eat it anymore but the smell of it brings him back to a simpler time.

As a child Hanzo used to enjoy Sakura Mochi during Hanami

DVA

Hana's favourite food, other than chips and nano-cola, is Kimbap, so much so that when her fanbase found out MEKA made an official MEKA Kimbap, specific to all of Hana's favourite fillings.

When Hana finally takes a break, Dae-hyun tends to make her his Japchae.

Hotteok are Hana and Dae-hyun's go to victory food.

Hana has a drink named after her, well more specifically her mech, called the Bunny Hop Punch, it is one of her favourite drinks to order

Mei

Mei often cooked for her friends at the Ecopoint, now when she cooks she gets a bitter sweet feeling. Even so, she still cooks the recipes she did back at the Ecopoint to relive the good times she had with her team. This includes when she makes hot chocolate.

Despite cooking a lot, Mei was never able to make certain recipes out in Antarctica, now though with her travelling the world she can make more of the food she wanted.

Zarya

Her favourite soup, Borscht, might be the inspiration for her hair colour. This was also something she had often as a child, along with being one of her favourite meals.

Like many others Zarya got a drink named after her called the Super Nova, it is a pink twist on the White Russian.

Symmetra

Pakora is a childhood favourite of Satya's, though she can't eat it a lot with Viskar, she still enjoys a plate when she can.

Symmetra often enjoys the flaovors of the food from her home, even though it is worlds apart from the food Vishkar serves. It is a comfort food for her.

Symmetra likes making Kaju Katli because she can make the dough into any shape she wants.

Zenyatta

Zenyatta often uses food to spread empathy and understanding, often using it as a way to bond with the people he encounters.

Zenyatta often make Vegan Momos to share with those met meets during his travels, Genji being one of these people

The go to Tea for the human Shambali pilgrims is Tibetan Butter Tea.

The Moon

Winston

Winston likes Pineapple on Pizza, this type of Pizza was often enjoyed on Gibraltar and other Watch points, often being on the centre of the table

Harold Winston used to make Lunar Colony Pies for Winston before he died, Winston still has fond memories of these pies

Bananas are WInstons least favourite food, only tolerating them if they are dipped in peanut butter

Wrecking Ball

Hammonds favouite snack is a wrecking ball made out of cheese... because it's a wrecking ball made out of cheese.

That's all for now, and if you'll excuse me, I am very tired after writing that all out-

[pacifymebby]

Did you know there was issues in your relationship all along or are there things you didn't realise until towards the end? I've followed you for a few years and from the little bits you'd shared on here your relationship sounded perfect at times. Was there a big change or were things not as good as they seemed all along?

I've been thinking about this alot lately, especially because I scrolled back through my archive not long ago looking for old fic related content and stumbled across loads of old asks from around 2021 when we were really happy together, and those asks paint such a perfect picture of everything, and it's weird because I can hardly remember that year now... But I do know I was that happy and that we were a really beautiful couple. I think he just changed a lot and slowly enough I didn't really see it until it was way too late...

But idk, I really do believe we were as good as I used to talk about us being back during that first year of being together together. Then idk, maybe towards the end of 2022 things were a bit, not rocky, but I definitely started to have doubts... The thing was there were so many other miserable things going on that I could put the doubts down to anxiety and circumstances rather than anything being wrong with the actual relationship... I always had an excuse for why things were the way they were... And he was still there for me in ways I guess my family weren't seeing... And also so many of the things that I had doubts about were like, I kept telling myself they were me problems, or that I was being petty and shallow... Stuff to do with like, physical presentation, or the way he'd speak to me sometimes...

And then yeah, late 2023 I think I knew we were on a losing streak, we had these arguments that should have been petty little squabbles that we came out of as adults... But instead he'd be really shitty to me about them, and they'd almost always circle back to being about how bad his mental health was, id say something like "hey, pls remember you said you'd apply for that course because we're supposed to be moving in together and you're meant be moving out your family home..." And he'd get super angry and then be like "this is the kind of thing that makes me want to *insert dramatic graphic description of whichever suicide method he fancied that day"

And like, he'd make me feel bad for questioning small things like if he didn't brush his teeth and I said hey maybe you should brush your teeth today, then he'd make really snide bitchy comments to me or go back to the "this is the kind of thing that makes me want to kill myself" thing again.

And idk, I'm really understanding of mental health, my job means I'm really trained in understanding it, and my own experiences of it mean I can be very understanding, but like because of that I Know that what he was doing was abusive. And like he would often use my mental health against me if I tried to raise the issue and be like "you shouldn't treat me like this.."

And then obviously even when things were bad, 2022 and 2023 were pretty heavily littered with good moments. And moments when he made me feel loved and treasured...

Then again there was a night we were out last year, we'd been drinking with our mates all day and there weren't enough seats so I had to sit in his lap, and it was all fine but after awhile I'd worried if I was too heavy and then when I asked him if he was alright me sitting there or if I was too heavy he thought it would be a funny thing if he dropped me as a joke. But he let me fall on the floor in front of our mates to get a laugh out of the boys and idk, I think I was upset with him for that but he turned it on me and pretended like he hadn't realised it was mean... And I believed him, and I just think that if my dad had said the things he said to me today about why he had started to go off B, then I'd have realised so fucking fast that my dad was right and that actually I needed to leave and stop wasting my life.

And this all makes everything so painful because it's like wow my best mate of like nearly 8 years wound up treating me like I was his fucking disposable vape or something:/

I think the shit part of the breakup has finally hit lol

[roberrtphilip]

Hey! What about some fluffy hurt/comfort headcanons for Robselle? If you want to obvs! :) :)

lmao I typed these, then realized I was mostly just writing angsty headcanons I have, so these don't really fit in the "fluffy hurt/comfort" category, but I'll post them anyway :]

I headcanon that Giselle's pregnancy was pretty hard on her, and stressful, and Robert was always there to make sure she was taken care of. He made sure she got enough sleep/rest, gave her massages whenever she needed them (even if it meant waking up at 3am to give one), and held her a lot. She really needed to be held.

I also headcanon that there was a short period of time where Giselle just couldn't get Sofia to stop crying, no matter how hard she tried. That, combined with Morgan's change in behavior, really took a toll on her, and she started to feel like she wasn't a very good mom. Robert does his best to assure her that she's a wonderful mother, and that Sofia's crying, and Morgan's behavior aren't her fault. I wrote a fic about him comforting her during a small breakdown, but it's very rough atm, and idk when I'll ever finish it rip.

This is based loosely off a scene from one of the scripts, but Giselle is very aware of how some people view her. She knows when people think she's "crazy" or "stupid", and when they treat her like a joke. She tries really hard to not let it get to her, but it isn't always easy to ignore.

They are each other's go-to person for comfort, and the only person they ever really breakdown in front of. (that scene in Disenchanted when Giselle says she "used to be good at things" is truly the Scene of All Time to Me, I wish their little moment was longer)

After the spell broke, Robert had a lot of anxiety about losing Giselle (again!!) and his daughters, whiiiich I wrote about here (x). I've been trying to write more about this topic, because his story wasn't really... resolved or even really touched on in the movie, and it makes me sad. It takes him awhile, and a lot of reassuring from Giselle that everyone is fine, but he eventually feels more at ease as time passes.

Related to that ^ I headcanon he had anxiety after almost losing her the first time too. He never told Giselle about it, but he'd have nightmares about losing her again pretty often, and will sometimes wake up and rest his forehead against her chest softly just to make sure her heart is still beating.

I also think, when they first started dating, Robert worried he wasn't good enough for Giselle, and wondered if she regretted staying with him. He'd make jokes in passing, but there was a bit of true fear behind his words. This is another headcanon I really want to write about, but I can't ever get it right. Some day... some day!!

[coffeeallaloneandlord]

.

got out my laptop to write a vent post like it's 2014 idk i'm just like ruminating on every breakup i've ever had and realizing after 15 years of trying to fit the role of girlfriend that is really just not for me lol! like i really thought i was on that path but if there's been any theme to my life so far it's that my path is not straightfoward like i transferred high schools i transferred colleges i moved to a new state without knowing anybody lost my housing immediately in a pandemic and still made it fucking work now i manage a restaurant which i could have NEVER seen myself doing 4 years ago even tho i always wanted to. the first most significant relationship i had when i was 18/19 was with a really genuinely great guy, i broke up with him because i knew somehow that i was too young and had a lot more to experience. it sucked because i loved him deeply and still did for years afterwards to a painful degree lmao. that colored a lot of my subsequent relationships thru college and beyond, which mostly: sucked. and they sucked because they all paled in comparison to the great relationship i had given up in order to have the freedom to have shitty relationships lol. so then i had some shitty relationships, interspersed with periods of girlbossing, then when i was 26 i started dating someone (long distance that i met thru a friend) who was really a perfect match for me in so many ways and i genuinely thought like this is it. literally had king of my heart on the relationship playlist, baby all at once this is enough. but then over time the realities of what it would take to really build that relationship, especially if it meant marriage, actually sank in for me and all that i would have to give up about myself, the life that i've built here, that i fought so hard to build. also i've said it before and i'll say it again.... this grown man let his mother do his laundry. this red flag represented more family dynamics that i won't get into for his sake but it was like once the puzzle pieces fell into place about what i was being asked to sign up for re commitment and marriage it was like omfg no. i will not be doing this man's laundry in 5 years' time fuming and resentful. so i ended that relationship which sucked because all my breakups SUCK i can never have a half decent breakup to save my fucking life, but i was still of the mindset that he wasn't the one for me and i needed to keep looking/waiting. i've dated here and there since then. but what took months and months to sink in the aftermath of that breakup was that the little details like the laundry and the distance that caused that breakup and not the underlying cause of all my breakups since i was 16 which all boil down to i don't wanna do this anymore lol. some people think the term honeymoon phase is controversial or whatever but that has been the case for me in every single relationship ive had that's gotten off the ground. relationships that don't get off the ground are a completely different story lol the only similarity is that every breakup ive ever had big or small sucked ass. to the point where it would lead to me staying in relationships way longer than i should have to avoid a traumatizing breakup which as we all know only makes the breakup worse [[laughing emoji x 13]]. so now like thinking about a guy a like and care about and him hypothetically asking me to be his girlfriend and i can't think of anything fucking worse. like no shade to the girlfriends out there. but my experience of being a girlfriend, even of a guy who treats you well, is that they are using the experience of possessing you to feel good about themselves. all guys do this. the guy who wanted to marry me treated me like aphrodite and worshipped the ground i walked on. and i believe he truly loved me, in a way no one ever has. but it felt perverse after awhile, like in the end it was really serving him. my laptop may die and i don't wanna lost this post, if you're still reading tysm for reading my stream of consciousness <333 if you didnt read this far sorry for not being perfectlol

[shinakazami1]

Uhh I would like to hear your opinion of either Stanley or the bucket take your pick.

But quick question I've had for awhile are you ever gonna return to the fandom? Or just talk about it occasionally? Or even just stop talking about it all together now that you're in a different fandom mainly? I enjoy your work regardless though of what you do. So keep it up!

Hi Cat!! Lovely to see you!

I answered about Stanley here so, I'll answer your remaining questions first and then the Bucket!

I don't know if I will return. I can't exactly enjoy the game anymore nor I want to be involved with fandom much. But I still hold the memories dearly. I have 10+ fanfics in my drafts, just need to reread through them. I have many ideas I still want to explore. I want to replay the game after I'm done with New Tales. I've been wanting to make a short comic. Idk if anyone still in the fandom would want it but seeing you and squoote in the asks does bring me hope someone still enjoys what I make haha

I hope to finish what I've already started. Good luck charm still waits for the next chap. We will see how it will go. But thank you for asking and remembering the lil ol' me :]

Now, onto-

The Bucket

How I feel about this character

Smart writing. Very, very smart writing. Started off as a joke and evolved into something so gorgerous and beautiful.

After so long on solitude, The Narrator decides to rewrite his story and be kind to Stanley. He sees they only have each other. He decides to use an everyday object that could be found in the office as object of comfort.

I think it represents most the Broom Closet ending, as a bucket would make sense to be from there. In the original - it's not an ending. It becomes a joke that it is. The Narrator knows there is a player. The game changes a bit between the runs and moves on. That's the BEST, to me, representation of the game, no joke.

And the bucket represents... A lot, actually.

First - what Narrator said. A calming presence. A bucket. A lover. But there is a lot.

The Bucket can be many things, depending on the perspective. Anytime the Bucket speaks - its Narrator speaking through the role. He shows he's playful. He shows he cares for Stanley. He wants to entertain and not hurt him as much yet he still ends up doing so (the fact you can still die in cargo ending). He changed, he wants to be held, he wants to be there with Stanley through the story they're both stuck in.

But also - the Bucket is Stanley. He is the comforting presence. He's seen as object without free will, just carried around, but also seems to have so much personality at the same time.

The duality fits them. It's a healing object for them both.

And this is why in Fernator AU--/silly

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Object to be desired, never to love back. Though Stanley x bucket x Narrator in the Bucket Apartment slaps.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Bucket x Narrator. Let him be with the symbols of his growth.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Once again, dunno the state of the fandom sieuehwh so headcanon time

- Bucket is a presence Narrator out himself in while he awaited for Stanley's return.

- The texture of the bucket feels off.

- You can't hold it by the handle. You have to hold it close. Holding by the handle feels like pulling someone by the hair.

- Narrator works in his free time after getting out of the game on more stickers. Fun work

- it holds liquids well. Soil too. In this Fernator analysis - /silly

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I will keep repeating myself. I love what is there and I don't want anything more. The game is finished. It said enough

[hollowsart]

when it comes to "roasting" someone's art especially in videos on youtube for the art community side of things..

[This is a long post, I'm just getting out something I've been thinking about for awhile about this subject]:

a lot of people tend to misunderstand what the ""roasting"" entails. some just use it as an excuse to genuinely be rude and draw over the art that was sent in to them without even really providing any good constructive criticism that is appropriate to the skill level of the different artists and acknowledging the different art styles that everyone has or is trying to go for, which can help the artists to improve. and that is regardless of the fact whether or not the original person sending it in knew what sending their art in would entail (ie, having their art altered among other things).

For quite a few "roasting your art" type videos the artist just.. isn't being very constructive. sure some are playful and don't actually mean the whole "rude" thing, but it just comes off as insincere and doesn't feel like they're actually wanting to help these artists nor care. (that's just me tho I guess?? idk.. ethan becker does have some good advice and tips, but his persona of being harsh and such just doesn't do it for me. I can't watch his videos cuz of that.)

but I do think artists like "ergojosh" and "jackie droujko" on youtube, their videos are absolutely respectful and are genuinely helpful with the tips and advice they give for various aspects of art. They also respect the varied styles and do what they can to maintain that style if they ever choose to draw over or redraw separately from the original piece to help show what they're trying to explain for the original creator to understand and use to try and hone their skills and improve, or to.. y'know.. maybe fix the piece if they do choose.

we do need more people making videos not "roasting" the art, but genuinely trying to help the artists whose works they are reviewing and critiquing. The two I listed above from what I have seen of their videos about this sort of thing.. They genuinely are not "ROASTING" someone's art but is actively trying to help them improve according to their skill level and taking into consideration any little things the original artist may have asked about wanting to improve and have had concerns about regarding their own art.

videos like those are really good and nice to see. making "roasting your art" videos and being rude and all about the art regardless of skill level and such is REALLY not something we need. the art community as a whole (as an outsider perspective.. I'm not into major art community circles and such, I'm just some small artist on the internet) has already had a lot of dr4ma and d!sc0urse with lots of hate and bullying and quite a fair amount of that being played off as joking or playful.. which. let's be honest. even playful bullying has its negative effects on the bully and bullied.

I want to see more videos that are respectful while not sugarcoating things or genuinely putting an artist down.

[bonesandthebees]

SHAKES UR HAND PRISMO !!!

together we can convince the bee tumblr community to become as obsessed with it as us

ALSO DAMNNN DEDICATED /POS

on a side note-

hold up

on a side side note: i get so distracted in these asks bee omfg im so sorry, i feel like my high energy can get too much sometimes KFDSJKDF pls let me know if u need me to turn it down a notch, i just get excited whenever i talk about fics soo aksdfjkSKJDF

anyways on the original side note: talking about the bee tumblr community just made me think about it, it really does feel like a sort of family <3 i love seeing all the random updates from the different anons here and getting to connect to you and to each other, it feels much more wholesome and secure than places like twt LMFAOO but idk it's just nice <3

i had tumblr for awhile but i never used it until i started reading the asks here, and it took me awhile to join in bc i felt intimidated skfdkjsd which is ironic bc yknow i could always go anon? but idk it just felt like everyone had their groove going and i didn't want to intrude, but i joined and i never felt that way

anyways oops this got long (as it always does kjfsdkj), but i just wanted to say that i appreciate you bee <3 for letting us anons n non anons ramble in ur ask box and analyze ur fics and/or just straight up scream noncoherent things

this has been a bright spot in my life lately and it's really special to me <333 and ur genuinely like . one of the kindest authors i've met, but you also have such a good sense of your boundaries n stuff, i admire you really. ur super cool

and also to all the other sillies in bee's asks, i appreciate u guys too <3 ur all super cool people, and i love hearing what you have to say :)) it's genuinely really nice and comforting to be a part of this community <33

lol no you're fine icy!! while it can be a Lot it always makes me laugh whenever I post a chapter of something that has sandduo in it and my inbox just fills with you screaming. it makes me so happy to know how excited my fics make you and the others though so :D

the thing you said about the tumblr community we have here is so sweet though and it's more right than I think even I realized initially. it's really nice when I see regular askers/anons pop up in my inbox and get to catch up on tiny parts of your lives and then in turn you guys talk to each other—it's just so sweet y'know? the thing I really love about having such an active inbox especially with asks about my fics is that it's a lot easier for me to respond to tumblr asks than ao3 comments. I rarely reply to ao3 comments because it's really just overwhelming and then I'm like "well if I respond to one person I feel bad about not responding to everyone else" but sometimes I just don't know what to say or there's just too many comments y'know? I LOVE my ao3 comments they mean so much to me but it's really nice to have people come into my inbox here to tell me their thoughts on my chapters bc it gives me a chance to reply with my own thoughts in a way that feels a lot more like a discussion I guess

so yeah. thank you guys for coming into my inbox to give me your thoughts it seriously makes me so happy and is definitely part of the reason why I have so much motivation to post so much.

also I'm really glad you decided to start popping in here one day icy you're very fun to have around :)

one thing I've always been very aware of since getting 'big' in this fandom is how to maintain things like boundaries while still connecting with the community and my readers specifically. because I wanna talk to you guys and I love interacting with you and all that, but also sometimes people in fandom who get 'big' can be a bit strange to others or get way too involved with discourse and just stir the pot and to each their own do fandom how you want but I don't wanna do that y'know. I'm here to have a good time and I want this little community we've built to also just be a nice, welcoming place for everyone

thank you for this icy it really made me smile to read <3

[sleepy-achilles]

Person who asked for “Leon’s Nightmare: 2”: That was awesome! Thank you so much❣️ I think a part 3 would be really interesting as well!

I didn't think at the time of me writing Leon's nightmare that it would become a multipart series. I'm loving it. I do wish I knew what my og plan for this was.

Normal Leon nightmare warnings apply. Are they needed? Probably not, idk I haven't written the thing yet. But better safe than sorry

The Family of Destruction- Leon's Nightmare part tree

------------------------------------------------------------------

--Last chapter--

--three tasty years later--

Drew sighs as he places the towel around his neck. "You did great tonight kid. You may of lost the match but to your people? You won." Taker states. "Thats because I did. If solo didn't turn up I'd have that belt!" Drew snaps.

Taker doesn't respond. Drew looks at him confused. "What? What is it?" Drew asks. "Something is off.." Taker whispers. "Sorry about that old man" a familiar voice chuckles. "Been awhile"

Both men turn to see the familiar figure stood in the doorway wearing his signature smirk and a sudden beard.

"Leon?!"

----

"Hey darlin" Leon smiles. Taker watches in amusement as drew punches his son. Leon groans and holds his face. "Okay, I deserved that" Leon mutters. Drew hisses as he shakes his hand. "Three whole damn years! You deserve a lot more than that!" Drew barks. Leon lowers his hand to reveal a bloody nose. Drew feels immediately bad but then remembers the times Leon taps his nose trying to be cocky and it sets off a blood fall. "I know that" Leon mutters. "Three whole years! Not a word! Nothing!" Drew yells. Leon doesn't say anything knowing drew needs this. "I married you! All of you! Demons and all! And you left me!" Drew continues.

Drew turns away and lets a groan of anger. "I can't believe you" drew whispers. "And yet you still wear the ring. Are you more upset I didn't contact or more upset I took too long to come back?" Leon asks. Drew glances down at his ring before clenching his fist. He hates when the bastard is right. "Im going to shower." He whispers before pushing past him and leaving.

Taker hums and places a hand on Leon's shoulder. "Some advice. Maybe don't profile your love after being gone for three years" Taker tells him. Leon looks at him. "Ill remember that one next time." Leon huffs. "Gonna tell me what happened?" Taker asks, not removing his hand off Leon's shoulder. Leon tenses and looks at it. "I've had a tough few years Dad. You might want to remove that hand." Leon warns quietly. Taker raises an eyebrow before turning Leon and pushing him against the wall, leaving a hand pressed against his chest. "You gonna keep that?" Taker asks nodding at the beard. Leon let's out a bitter chuckle. "I've been locked in a box in the middle of nowhere with hexes locking me in. I haven't exactly had a razor in fear of.." Leon trails off. "You know that wouldn't work, right?" Taker asks. "I've been human from the moment I shut that door to the moment before I open. Weird three fuckin years. Don't really wanna talk about it. The time or him." Leon snaps.

Taker hums and pretends to think about it. "How long did he have you possessed?" Taker asks. Leon sighs. "That night before I left. He actually touched me. Choked me. That's when he blew his own cover. Showed me that he was close and that I had to act fast." Leon mutters. "And is he gone?" Taker asks. "Yeah. I'm not possessed anymore." Leon states. Taker notes the lack of, no he's not here. "Now will you let me go?" Leon asks. Taker examines him. "You and me are hopping on a flight and you are going to apologise to your pa for disappearing." Taker explains. "What am I? 17 again?" Leon growls. "Act it, be treated it. Move. I'll go grab drew and cassie." Taker orders. "Yessir." Leon whispers.

Taker pulls away and watches Leon's eyes lower. Taker doesn't start. He knows Leon, what he just did? That was pushing it over the line. Taker knows better than to push too far.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Drew walks into their house, Leon close behind. "You know I'm sorry..I.. I was a danger to myself never mind everyone else." Leon states. "Pizza?" Drew asks. Leon pauses and watches as Drew removes his jacket and kicks his shoes off. "I could go for pizza." Leon states. "Ill phone it in, go take a shower-" "Drew. I didn't have a match" Drew freezes.

Leon sighs and steps closer. "The last three years...I've still been here, haven't I?" Leon asks quietly. Drew looks back at him with watery eyes. "I missed you so much Leon.. why...why didn't you tell me?" Drew asks quietly. "I was scared"

Drew stares at him shocked. Leon never admits feelings like that, even with Drew. "What?" Drew asks. "I was scared he'd harm you. I..I had a nightmare the night I was attacked. About you..about hurting you. I couldn't. I had to leave. For you more than me." Leon whispers. Drew finds himself moving closer. "You scared us all Leon...your father couldn't feel you, John was having the weirdest night..well daymares..and nightmares..and I.. I was scared for you." Drew admits. Leon huffs and tilts his head down. "Just needed to hear your voice Lee...know you were okay" drew whispers cupping Leon's face and lifting his head. Leon smiles slightly. "Im okay" he whispers.

Drew frowns, rubbing his thumb over Leon's cheek. "You will be" drew promises quietly. Leon's eyes widen slightly. "You will be." Drew repeats before pulling him into a kiss.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon stares at the ceiling, his mind hazy, unfocused. His ears picking up the sound of drews heartbeat, his chest sensitive to drews hot breathe against it. He strains his ears further to pick up Charlie snoring in the doorway. That damn dog appears anywhere, always scares drews cats. That damn dog should be dead. He was born months before Leon. And well Leon's old.

Back to Leon's current drama.

He can't move. He can focus on sounds, the way drews fingers twitch against his stomach in his sleep, the way the house smells of pizza still. And that damn nagging voice in the back of his head.

"Let me back in. I'll play nice...please.." Ministry whispers. Leon shudders as the ceiling forms into a face. Leon feels his muscles tense. "Ill leave him alone! Cmon!"

Drew groans quietly as Leon's chest spasms under him and his heartbeat suddenly fades. "Lee?" He whispers lifting his head. He sits up when he gets nothing. His eyes widen as Leon's body starts to shake, his eyes rolled back. "Leon!" Drew yells waking the dog up. Charlie barks and rushes over, jumping on the bed. Drew watches as the dog growls and snarls at something by Leon's side of the bed. "Charlie? Leon! Lee! Fu-fuck!" Drew gasps moving and grabbing his phone. His hands shake and his mind goes numb as he starts dialing 911. He stops as a hand grabs his wrist. "No hosptials" Leon's voice is distorted. Drews eyes widen. Not Leon's voice.

"Skelly?" Drew asks looking up. Skelly tilts his head and smiles. "Been awhile since I heard that name" he chuckles, his eyes glowing purple, the skeleton face paint suddenly on his face. "Whats happened to Leon?" "I didnt mean to scare you. Its been three years trapped in a dark box for me drew. He's not fed me because of that bastard trying to steal my vessel" Skelly huffs. Drew hits his chest. "Leon's body is not so-" "I know, I know. You tell me everytime." Skelly groans sitting up. "Whats he told you about ministry?" Skelly asks. "Nothing. What do you know?" Drew asks.

"I know that he is Undertakers younger form. A demon taker pushed out when he became human again. Its interesting, Undertaker has always been special, he gained many demons in his ves-body, ministry was always the most evil and dangerous one." Skelly explains pushing the covers back. Drew just watches, admires the way a purple light builds on Skelly body. It'll form a skeleton soon. It is why he's called the skeleton King after all. "Ministry was pissed and wanted back in. Problem, shawn michaels had changed taker a lot. Other problem, Ministry could linger, saw John but, John was human. Saw baby Leon michaels. Baby Leon michaels who wasn't fully human. Now him? That was something he could attach too. Not the only demon or spirit to attach to that damn baby. Unlucky bastard" Skelly huffs pulling some jeans on.

Drew watches him but doesn't speak. It was hard to get Skelly to talk, he wasn't going to stop him now. "He was going to use Leon to get to taker, but as Leon grew, he understood how powerful we were and decided he wanted that instead. And also, its more fun to kill a man whilst using his sons body" Skelly huffs. Skelly pulls a sweater on before looking at drew. "But you, you came along" Skelly points out. "Me?" Drew asks. "Yeah, really opened that human in him. You are his Shawn michaels to his undertaker. Kept me at peace let's say" Skelly smirks.

Skelly leans in close. "Real peace" he smirks. Drew scans his face. "Are you stronger than ministry?" Drew asks quietly. "If you are asking me if I'll keep you and Michaels safe, the answer is yes. When he keeps me fed and lets me. I don't like being locked up in the dark drew. And I don't like being hungry." Skelly smirks before pulling back. "So, where are you going?" Drew asks. "You know the answer to that pretty boy!" Skelly calls walking out.

Drew smiles and lays back down. "Asshole" he whispers, the smile still large.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes

I have a feeling their might be a part 4. Idk.

I just knew this was the perfect chance to get more into Leon's demonology.

Finn has the Demon Prince. Leon has the Skeleton King.

Difference is both Leon and skelly are demons. Leon just happens to be born human, so hybrid whilst skelly is full on from hell. And they have both shared the same birthday and same body, they are the same person. Idk it's late. I'm tired. He's basically what ministry taker is to taker. You get me?

Enjoy :)

Oh yea, now that I've finally completed my task of introducing skelly (despite the fact he's always technically been here..i just have never gone out of my way to separate the two. Youll see it now though when rereading fics centered on lee), I will be taking yk questions about him.

[saclarclay]

Gw2 is so stupidly easy at making me smile, like today is supposed to be one of the--what do they call sidang in english...basically something that has to do with my thesis n i get so upset about it cus i'm just so not ready and i just startedbto think about a one au where commander really end up with laranthir cus i love him o(-(

Like like like just like when trahearne believed in my commander, the commander believed in laranthir n choose to help him find the other missing sylvari

N after mordremoth event, Orinvia decided to stay in Orr for awhile to help with papers n stuff since the current seat for pact marshal is empty n she doesn't want to take it. Both of them help each other a lot n just grew close that way

I know i've probably talked about it before but shh let me have it again

Laranthir in my mind is such a hopeless romantic, kek the moment that he confess to orinvia he already accepted the chance she might reject him or doesn't see him the same way but he would still love her (and the vigil) as a friend

But then orinvia actually felt the same way n laranthir was excited to bring her back to the groove for a short break from all that work n they both totally need that

N idk why but in my mind he is the type to introduce his lover to the mother tree even though the pale tree already knew who they were kek he's ust happy to officially introduce his lover like "mother, i've come to introduce you to my dearheart-- insert romantic sweet words that would get his lover to just blush-"

Kek Orinvia already met the pale tree before but laranthir just had to introduce her this time as his lover n the pale tree just chuckle n play along o(-(

Hhhh n i swear everything i imagined with laranthir x commander is just all sweet stuff, sweeter than what i had in mind with Trahearne

N it's all just because of that one line where he would like to find someone to love

Tho most of their relationships would mostly be done in ldr, after the commander got a message from taimi, laranthir knew he couldn't stop her n probably said something like he would go after her to help once he settled down with his 'problem' at the grove

But we all know that he never came anyway 😂 he still exchanged letters with orinvia from time to time, no he would send a whole bunch of letters every month

He knows how persistent the commander is when it comes to helping people n if she should fight another dragon again to stop the world from collapsing, no one can stop her n that is one of the reason why he always admires her

I feel like almost all sylvari would do this but laranthir is totally one of those who would write or say something like "no matter how far you are, know there is always someone waiting for you, my dearheart." But again more romantic n poetic

I'M HHHHHHH

Like he just wrote the sweetest stuff ever

In my mind at least---

Like idk he just does that when he's so in love with someone

N that time after the battle at the jade sea and Laranthir finally comes back to join the battle with the pact, logan gave her a message saying someone is excited to meet her

Logan didn't know that the two of them are together, all he knew was that laranthir wouldn't stop worrying about the commander n his own appearance

But when orinvia just saw him and the ship passing by she immediately went to the ship, glide fly, idk what's better--n landed on the ship. Logan greet her but she just dash pass him n jump at laranthir who immediately caught her in his arms n spin her around before a kiss AAAA

N logan's just standing there trying to process everything that just happened n he look at the others like

"...they were together?"

Queue logan being the proud dad friend to ori as always, he would tear up//slap

Orinvia would force him to stay in Cantha for a few days cus they finally got some day off, no more heroism no more troubles--at least from world ending crisis--romantic boat date in cantha through the what is that tunnel called again lmao love tunnel, bar date at canach's club

N i just imagine they would attend jory n kas' wedding together n it occurs to him that could he really ask her to marry him, the soft gaze as he imagined her in a wedding dress

Also random oot thoughts i honestly kinda dislike the wedding outfit look for the male sylvari idk why

Laranthir curiously asked if she would like to, yknow do it the human's tradition way, but she just jokingly said "I thought we were already married when you reintroduced me to the pale tree."

Cus he did make an oath how they're finally together as one

[forbiddenelitedawn]

Another rant time? Maybe

So once again I'm thinking about 2017 because I recently been replaying TWDG & while I adore and love the game with my entire heart, those memories from 7 years ago came flooding back. Idk how to even feel about it because I had a panic attack and was crying on and off the other day about it. I usually get over this feeling pretty quick but this has been lasting for days. I think it might be affecting me physically too. I won't stop playing the TWDG since I've already started it but it does remind me of people who are no longer in my life who have had a deep impact on me. Do I think about them still? Yes of course, I have moments every few months about those times and will I ever get over that? I have no idea. I did hold a grudge for awhile but it always turns into me missing those happy memories.

I hate not being able to get over things from years ago. Abandonment issues amirite? because I feel like having these issues always cause me to think about people who I no longer associate with. I just want to be able to move forward properly and to be able to enjoy things I uses to enjoy. It sucks when things you used to love a tied with people who are no longer in your life anymore.

I hold onto the past way too much. I keep telling myself that I can't change the past and to only move forward from them but sometimes I wonder that if things went differently back then, how would things be now? Would every one still be in contact with one another? Would everyone still be friends? I ask myself those questions all the time but I never really have an answer sadly.

I'm not perfect and I'm a better person from then of course. I've changed a lot tbh and for the better too. I do hope that anyone from then are okay and doing well, even if they hurt me or become inactive or left socials I still wish them all the best. I know none of them will read this anyways because I'm not friends with most of them anymore and they probably don't know about this account so it just feels nice that I'm able to rant here.

Sometimes I'm scared to talk to anyone about this because I don't want to reopen their old wounds, so I keep it to myself mostly but lately it's been quite difficult. I'm not sure how anyone copes with this so easily because I feel like I'm going crazy. I wonder if other people cry this much over people they don't talk with anymore because I surely can't be the only one right?

I hope one day I'm able to get over everything from my past, whether it's 4 years ago, 7 years ago or more, I just want to feel happy and I want to feel okay & not so anxious about everything.

I think that's all... I really needed to let this out somehow and I hope I start to feel okay again soon because I feel so drained lately and I worry that I want to isolate myself again because that's something I do NOT want to do

[thecourtjester12]

Hello, friend!! Can I call you that? I'm not sure... I'm so sorry I didn't send an ask sooner! How have you been? I hope you've been well! Make sure you've been getting plenty of rest and water, and please do take breaks if you need them! I'm sure your event has been stressful to manage, and I've heard you had a lot of alt blogs on top of that! That's quite the juggle!

Please do fill me in on what's been going on since my last asks to you, my birds only tell me so much. No pressure, of course, but I feel as though you deserve to at least reflect on your accomplishments! Doesn't everyone need a confidence boost like that?

~🌻 Sunflower Anon, who has missed you dearly!

Sorry it's taken me a few days to answer you! I wasn't ignoring you or anything, just wasn't too up to answering and wanted to answer you properly! Always nice to see you too!

Hello! And sure! I'm perfectly ok with you calling me friend if you'd like! ^-^

And no worries about taking a bit to send another ask, send them whenever you want to and are feeling up to, don't feel bad if its awhile in between!

I have been ok, sometimes stuff can get too much so I try to step back for a bit and go with the flow a bit and focus on being ok again :3 The same goes back at you! Make sure to get enough rest and drink water and take care of yourself as well! ^-^

The event hasn't been too bad to manage, I most do things in the background, occasionally pull some strings and keep things organized as much as I can, which works great, I much prefer to work behind the scenes (While I am not opposed to spotlight, theres simply something nice about keeping all the lil details of something organized :3)

I certainly have a good few (not as many as SOMEONE I know, yes, I mean you Moonlight, they keep growing) But most of them don't get as much virtual traffic to them so I mostly do things on two 70% of the time which are this one and my main side one jestersdlc

Two other's are ask blogs, and those don't get asks too frequently so they mostly just chill there :3

And the last (known) one is a group one and that one is pretty slow on us all to update it, so it's not toooo bad :3 I can't remember exactly when your last ask was...(time wise I mean >_<) So I'll try my best! Not sure there's much to say tho :3

Idk if PDC was made before or after...but me and a pair of friends (whom you may know, Qwill and Sol) made an au blog called playdatecollectorau where we kinda shove a bunch of our au's together so we can have our beans have 'playdates' theres LORE of course, cause lore is awesome

Mostly just intro stuff on there atm but it's fun to have and plan

I have accumulated....more AU's, there is...so many for DCA au's there is....10 and a half (the half is PDC) (JDCAU, J-TOL, LOTC, MIW, LSAU, REDACTED, NBCau, ESSau, CTAMK and secret) along with a few TSAM's ones which there is...less of 3 and a half (Starboy, CuddleBug, SolarMoon and Dream Eater (which is the half cause its...all encompassing lets say)

And just recently got the SolarAndMoon blog up and running which is nice, they look real squishy

I have a couple little projects on the go or completed as well, a few oneshots have been posted (mostly on my side blog...) and am currently working on a mini series for Aromantic awareness week!

Certain characters are being...uncooperative...but I shall figure something out! (...moreso idk much on certain beans yet so its making it finicky to write them >_<)

and IT IS ARO WEEK NOW! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

So that is exciting, excuse to wear green (one of my favorite colors) and spread awareness for aromanticism! Its great :3

AND new pronouns! Idk if you popped in last before or after that but that was a funky thing, I now use she/they and ey/em/eir so thats fun! ^-^

And I have a few lil secret projects of course :3

I think that sums everything up.....sorry for the really long response! Hopefully you don't mind >_<

I'm in ramble mode rn from rambling to my friend about certain beans being disaster bi's and a disaster lesbian and silly shenanigans for certain au's

How have you been doing? If you're comfy sharing of course, feel free to ramble in turn if you'd like! No pressure tho! ^-^

But remember you deserve a nice confidence booster too :3

[mjrkime]

Okay, I reblogged a fair amount of nice stuff for today. Now I'm ready to endulge into my daily does of smart words. Because sometimes an unexplainable desire to sound smart takes over me and I need to let it out like a temper tantrum as a way to not let it marinade. Otherwise I might actually believe that I'm smart and bother too many people after awhile 8D

Also, coffee tastes like crap today. Coffee machines are tricky devils.

Anyway...

Idk if anyone relates to this, but I know how it feels when the only desire to have in life is a desire to not exist or just "be left alone", "be at peace". When I've been crawling through my postgraduate program in University on sheer willpower, I remember thinking how what I'm doing doesn't make sense, how anything I've ever done doesn't make sense. Back then I started to realise that the path I've tried to follow in life was never meant to be enjoyable or, most likely was never meant for me. I was waiting for happiness to finally come to me, but alas it never did. Because a) there was no foundation for it and b) there is no such thing as permanent happiness. Fortunately, I had funds to start therapy right around that time. But with all that, it became apparent to me that not only was I completely baffled by the fact that there was no tasty treat waiting for me around the corner to compensate for years of suppressing copious amounts of anger, but it also occurred to me that I never really wanted anything. As in a sense of... goals, motivations and stuff. I couldn't shut up about not being happy in life, couldn't stop complaining and whining, but when people got fed up with it and started asking me "Okay, what do you want?!" I had no direct answer. All that came to my mind was "nothing". I can't say I came over it. It feels better and people around me say that it's better, but it annoys me that I just can't rewrite certain parts of myself. There are still times when I'm angry at others for being more successful/motivated/confident/rich than me, but as I get more and more stuck up, the success of others starts mattering less and less. Except for the times when I'm knocked out with anxiety, but I know that mouthing angry words towards anyone who just happened to have what I didn't won't solve something that can't be solved. Because a lot of life is up to pure luck. I'm lucky for many reasons. It's only funny, though, how with that unexplainable line of lucky coincidences I have failed to find happiness completely. This bothers me still, sometimes more, sometimes less. Because it feels like the universe is giving me all the instruments and cringes immensely when I'm just missing the point. The universe doesn't give a crap, of course, but that's besides the point. When I'm feeling better nowadays I think about ways to discipline myself, like starting to workout again, eating better, and going for walks more often. All these things never fulfilled me because I expected them to "fix" me. There was supposed to be that one magic pill that would've changed everything. Of course there wasn't and there never will be. Getting better was always a process and I'm actually afraid to confidently say that I really got better. More or less, it just feels appropriate to think that if I'm not struggling to go over the same obstacle the way I struggled before, it might actually be better. Funny thing as well, my lifelong pattern was to rely on fictional characters for delivering me the experiences that I was gravely afraid of getting through myself. Living life felt forbidden because I felt dead and it only recently occurred to me that life just isn't fun because it doesn't look like my fantasies about it, lol. It still feels safer to live through certain experiences through fictional characters, but I certainly don't feel as detached and dissociated from my current self.

Idk where I was going with this. I guess, if you found this post and you felt something similar, hey, you're not alone. I won't sugarcoat and say that 'if I got better, you can too' as it feels like applying an additional pressure where nobody wants it. Plus, we all know that a lot of things are up to just luck and circumstances, so it's safe to say... We all might get better, we might not. It's just fucking impossible to tell what's going to happen the next day, the next week, the next year. But what really helped me to move was anger. Not a hurt self-hatred kind of anger, not a toddler tantrum kind of anger, not a misplaced hatred, but a charged response to the circumstances that's directed towards my own betterment. "How dare that arse play an instrument better than me? I'll dedicate days to get better, practice and then I'll show 'er!" . I don't know how to get into this pool of energy every time I need it. But that's what gets me into the driving mode. Good anger 8D

The only thing that remains a mystery to me is feeling shame during various social situations. I'm still very afraid of confidence and people that are extremely guarded and firm in what they believe. I don't know how to win arguments and how to not be infuriated by people not agreeing with me or disliking things that I love. Yeah, it's almost like the world doesn't revolve around me but my psyche is still on toddler level in this case. When I'm on my own it's absolutely fine, but when it's with people... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I swiftly devolve into a specific shape of immature and it doesn't ever get easier. Fuck socialising, man. If the world were to be run by machines, it would be better. Just... Let me not interact with living breathing humans when it comes to a doctor's visit or when I need to apply for a job or when I fucking want to go somewhere. I don't feel panicked during these moments, but man would it be easier if there would be just about 10000 people on earth and we all communicated through reblogs, lol.

That's it, I better stop right there otherwise it's a good chance I'll get back to the whining toddler state.