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darthannie · 1 year

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thesis statement

Pairing: professor!Jim x f!reader Summary: You accidentally bump into your Professor, Jim, at a sex shop. Word count: 3.3k Warnings: 18+ please for the love of god, age gap (reader is ~25, Jim is ~45), alcohol consumption (a few sips of wine), kissing, praise, soft dom! Jim kinda, fingering, p in v, Jim takes his time, a smidge of cockwarming, idk what else to put here! a/n: There will probably be a part two where they explore their little arrangement a bit more. Maybe it'll turn into something longer. I love Jim sm. I also want him to FUCK you know. We’ll get there, but I was feeling a lil soft. Also hmmm i wonder why Jim was at the sex shop in the first place.

It was around 5 pm on a Sunday and you were really in need of something new. Very in need. Your old toy just wasn’t cutting it anymore. To remedy this it was time for a trip to Deluxxx, your neighborhood sex shop. Your friend, Nadia, knew someone who worked there and you’d go there for all your wants and needs. You strolled in and gave a wave to the person behind the counter.

“Hey, David! How’s the shop been treating ya?”

They looked around at the empty shop, “Hey! It’s slow but I can’t complain. What are you in for?”

You sighed, “You remember that last toy I bought?“

”No way, does it suck?! It was so expensive.”

“No, no it’s great! Gets the job done, waterproof, 10 settings-“

“So what’s the problem”, they asked.

You gestured in front of yourself with both hands, “It’s just… a little too small?"

They laughed and threw their head back. “Of course. Well lucky for you we got something new in recently that you might like. It’s in the back aisle, bottom shelf.”

You thanked them and made your way to the back. You crouched down to find the one David was telling you about. It was definitely bigger than the one you had. And thicker. It didn’t have any extra frills but that wasn’t what you were looking for. You snapped a picture and sent it to Nadia with “new bf” as the caption. You let out a little laugh that was more like an exhale as you got up. Nadia has been nagging you about needing a boyfriend and you said you were just going to buy a new one. You were still looking at your phone as you turned to exit the aisle and bumped into someone. The apology on your lips died as you recognized the person in front of you as Jim, your professor and thesis advisor.

His jaw went slack for a moment and his eyes widened as he recognized you. You were the last person he’d expect to see there but it wasn’t an unwelcome sight. He enjoyed teaching you, not knowing whether it was your interest in the subject or the fact he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He broke eye contact for a moment, scanned your body, took note of the item in your hand, and then met your eyes again. You were suddenly very aware of your surroundings and before anyone could say anything he cleared his throat, said “Excuse me” and walked past you.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive and it was becoming clear why you did not have a boyfriend. You wanted him. This wasn’t a new revelation by any means. Nadia was in the same class as you, and she bugged you about it almost daily. You hadn’t expected him to find you in such a vulnerable position. You collected yourself and walked swiftly to the counter and paid. Jim was long gone. You said your goodbyes to David and you texted Nadia to let her know what happened.

She called you almost immediately and opened by saying, “So you know you gotta fuck him now. Like you have to. You don’t have an option. You MUST”. You laughed. There was absolutely no way Jim wanted you. You let her know as much and she disagreed.

“There’s no way he doesn’t want you. Come on. All the silent stares in class. Asking you to stay after. Constant emailing about things that have nothing to do with class. I mean who just emails their student a TED talk because they thought of them? All signs point to him wanting you. AND what about that one day where you teased him about not having a ring on his finger, and he just said I’m working on it? You know there was this smile he gave you afterward that I don’t think you caught. You were too busy hiding the blush on your face”

“I know I know.” You relented, “I don’t know, it just seems so far-fetched!”

You knew that was the logical response but something was telling you Nadia was right. He had to have known that his voice sent a shiver down your spine. That you wanted him to take you right there on the table after class. You had caught him staring during class. Maybe she had a point. You couldn’t help but wonder if he really did want you too.

Later on in the day, you got into the shower. Scalding hot water hit your back. You couldn’t help but recount the events from earlier. He had lingered, looked at the item in your hand, and raised an eyebrow. You would’ve been embarrassed if he didn’t already feel so familiar.

Soft music played as you lathered a silky body wash along your body. Your mind started to wander, thinking about what it would be like if it were his hands instead of yours. You rinsed off the soap, running your hands over your arms and breasts all while imagining they were his. You turned off the water, dried off, and headed towards the bag you placed on your small table.

You unpackaged your new toy and went back to the bathroom to clean it. Getting back to bed, you lied down and opened up an incognito tab on your phone. You looked for some porn to watch. Once you found an adequate video, you relaxed and continued to watch. The man in the video touched the woman’s body in all the right places. He laid her down and kissed up her thighs before starting to eat her out. This was enough for you to start teasing yourself with the toy, feeling the weight of it on your clit. Suddenly the video was unnecessary. All you could think about was Jim.

You positioned it just right and started to insert it. You gasped as you felt how it stretched you out. This was what you needed. You paused the video, throwing your phone on the side to focus on the task at hand. You put the rest of it inside you and let yourself adjust to the size. You began to move the toy as you thought of him. You wondered if he felt this good. He had to feel better than this. You got off that night thinking about him and only him. When you finally came down from your high you grabbed some water, cleaned your toy, and got straight to bed.

You didn’t want what happened yesterday to impact your experience in class so you decided to just go on like nothing happened.

You headed to the bathroom and began going through the movements of the morning. Before you knew it you were by the building where class was held. A bit further down the sidewalk was Jim walking from the opposite direction. The both of you got to the door at the same time. He didn’t say a thing. He just gave you a polite, awkward smile as he opened the door for you. You returned the smile and walked in. Side by side you walked to the classroom. This time you opened the door for him. You watched as he entered and mentally prepared yourself to take a class. It was just the two of you in the room. You sat at the round table with your laptop in front of you trying your best to seem busy.

He broke the silence, “Did you have a nice weekend?”

You summoned a response, “Yes, actually, I was able to spend some time with myself.”

He quipped back, “Oh, I’m sure you were.”

Your eyes widened trying to process what he said. He let out a light chuckle as another student arrived. The class was full within the next five minutes. Nadia walked in and looked between you and him. She smirked at you. The air was buzzing for the next two hours. You could cut the tension between you two if you tried hard enough. You asked and answered questions like usual. Each time you spoke he paid extra attention to you. When class ended you began gathering your things slowly, hoping you were the last in the class. Nadia leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Just don’t do it by my seat.” You gave her a light slap on the arm and she laughed. Then, it was just you and him. He approached you and spoke softly.

“Listen, I apologize if I overstepped a boundary with the joke I made earlier. I thought it would help ease the tension if, I don’t know-“

“It’s alright, Professor. We’re both mature adults who can bump into each other at a sex shop and move on with our lives.” You got up ready to leave but he spoke.

“Since when am I Professor?”, he asked.

You looked at him confused. He clarified, “Since when do you call me Professor? You never call me Professor.”

You cleared your throat, “Well I just thought we should reestablish a professional boundary since the- you know. Keep the personal and the professional separate.”

He looked at you, pensive for a moment. He moved a bit closer to you. “Well, what if we don’t keep it separate?”

Your eyes widened as you realized what was happening. “Are you serious?”

“Very.” He lowered his voice a bit and moved closer. He ran his hand down your arm. His mouth was now near your ear. There was no chance someone else was going to hear him, but he whispered anyway. “I think you should come over tonight. If you want to.”

“Yeah, I want to.” You mentally cursed yourself for caving in so quickly.

“How’s seven?, he asked.

“Seven’s good.” Your head was spinning. This was happening.

“I’ll also need your number so I can send you the address.” He handed you his phone with a new contact page open. You entered it in, gave him a shy smile, and turned to leave.

He grabbed your wrist before you were able to move away from him. “By the way, leave your new purchase at home. You’re not going to need it.”

Summoning some courage, you leaned in to kiss him. He didn’t close the gap all the way. “Let’s save it for tonight.”, he said as he pulled away. He gathered his things without looking at you and left.

When you returned home you threw your stuff down and immediately called Nadia. “I KNEW IT!" she yelled. “I KNEW that’s why you hung back. God, it was so tense between you two.”

“You could tell?” You didn’t think it was that obvious until she chuckled and said that everyone could tell. The rest of the conversation consisted of Nadia giving you a pep talk and making her promise you’d tell her everything.

As time passed you got more nervous. Around six you received a text from him telling you to wear something comfortable, along with his address. You sent a very quick response and, per his request, put on something comfortable. It would end up on the floor anyway. He didn’t live very far from you, which was lucky. You wondered if this would be a one-time thing. What would class be like now? I graduate soon anyway, you thought. If this all went south you could just forget it happened. You got to his apartment a couple of minutes before 7 and he let you up. When you got to the door you knocked twice and waited.

You’d never seen him so casual and… nervous. “Please, come in! You can put your things wherever you’d like,” he said.

You looked around at his apartment. You could tell a professor lived there. Bookshelves lined the walls. On the dining table, there was a bottle of wine with two glasses. You put down your bag near the door. You didn’t know what to do with your hands. He noticed your apprehension.

“Do you like wine? I got a nice Malbec after class today. Thought we could crack open a bottle.”

“Yes, I’d like that very much.”

“Nerves?”

“Yeah.”, you confirmed.

“Me too. But, uh, there’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s just me.”

He smiled and the tension in your body slipped away. It was replaced by a sense of calm. Jim was letting you into his home, and into his life. You sat down at the table and he removed the cord from the bottle. You watched his hands work, feeling eager to get them on you. But that had to wait, he was about to take his time. He poured you and himself a glass. You sat across from him and took a sip, hoping its effects would be immediate.

“I’m glad you came. You know, I thought you’d think I was too old for you.” And he might’ve been. Twenty years was a healthy gap but it wasn’t anything you wouldn’t indulge in. Hell, if you could, you’d date him.

“Not at all.” You replied. “I can’t lie, I’ve been thinking about it all year.”

“About what?”, he pushed.

“About… seeing you.”

“You can say it.” He noticed your blush.

“I want to hear you say it.”, he egged you on.

You sighed, trying to muster up the words. “I’ve been thinking about… being with you all year.”

“And doing what?”, he took another sip of his wine and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to say it?”

“Yes.”, There was no way you would be able to admit it to him fully.

“You want your professor to fuck you. You want me to take you to my room, undress you, and take care of you better than anyone ever has.”

Your face was red. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” You drank from your glass.

“Come here.”, he spoke softly and you got up. “Straddle me, love.”

You sat on his lap and he looked up at you, grinning ear to ear. He brought his hand up to your neck and pulled you down to kiss him. It was brief. He pulled away and looked into your eyes. Then he kissed you again. And, again. Then, he started kissing your neck. You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as you felt him getting hard underneath you. He kissed and nipped at your skin. His hands reached the hem of your shirt and he pulled it off before you could register it happening. Once it did, you helped him out of his.

He tapped your ass a couple times, silently saying get up. He walked you backward and pushed you up against a nearby wall. He started removing a bra strap, but you stopped him.

“Well don’t get shy on me now.”, he chuckled. “Come.” He reached out his hand and you grabbed it. He led you down the hall to his bedroom and you sat down on the bed. You took your cues from him. As he started to lean over, you began to lay down. His hand was unhooking your bra with one hand. He was finicking with it and after a few moments, it was off. The cool air hitting your nipples caused them to rise. Jim kissed you again, then kissed down your neck, and finally put his hands on you. He licked, sucked, and grabbed your breasts.

“You’re so beautiful. Even more gorgeous than I could have imagined. Baby, I need to taste you.”

You wanted to protest but your pants were already coming off. Your panties followed. He groaned, “Fuck, baby, all this for me?

Before you could respond he kissed the inside of your thigh, then down, down, down until he reached your pussy. You were so wet for him already. He used his fingers first, wanting to feel you first.

“You always get this wet for your Professor?”

“Yes.”, you responded breathlessly. His fingers were moving in and out of you. Slowly at first and then faster. He hit that perfect spot each time. Then he added his mouth. This time he didn’t go slow. He was licking and sucking on your clit. You moaned out his name and he smiled. He ate you out like his life depended on it. No one had ever done this to you. No one had ever paid this much attention to your body. You were a whimpering mess. His hand found its way back to your nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He then squeezed, hard, which made you load loudly.

“Please Jim, I’m gonna cum.”, you plead.

He got you close to the edge and then pulled away. You whimpered at the loss of him. “Please, keep going.”

“No, if you’re gonna cum, I’m gonna be inside of you.” He took off the rest of his clothing. You moaned at the sight of him. He was right. You would never need the toy again. You couldn’t wait for him to be inside of you. He knew this and instead decided to tease you with his cock. He dragged it along you and tapped your clit the same way you did with your toy at home. Only this was a hundred times better.

He nipped at your ear and whispered. “You really want it, huh?”

“Yes,” you begged “It’s all I want.”

He grinned and entered you slowly and without warning. Your jaw dropped slightly. You couldn’t even make a sound, you were too busy with the feeling of him filling you up entirely. He let out a sigh and grabbed your chin.

“Look at me. Open your eyes. Look at me while I fuck you.” You did as he said. He started to pick up the pace. He was making this intimate. He caressed your face and made almost as much noise as you did. “Good girl. You’re such a good girl, following directions. Ready for another one?” You nodded.

“Get on top. Sit down on my cock.” You started moving before he even finished his sentence. There was no room for shyness anymore. He sat up against the headboard as you sunk down on him; the new angle was doing wonders for the both of you. He thrusted up, wanting to feel more of you. He held you close to him as you began to ride him.

“You sure know how to treat a girl, Professor.”, you said breathlessly.

He chuckled and kissed you. “You sure know how to treat your Professor. You’re being so good for me. Such a good girl.”

His hand found its way back to your clit, his thumb rubbing circles. He wanted to make sure you came first.

And you did.

It came in waves. You felt it build up and told him you were close. Then, you fell apart. You pulled him close and kissed him passionately. He wrapped his arms around you and whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you came.

“That’s it, baby. So, so good for me. God, such a pretty little thing.“ He took control, holding you up and thrusting into you. The sensation was almost too much to bear.

“Where do you want it.”, he asked.

“Inside. Please. I’m on the-“

“Are you sure, love?” You could tell he couldn’t wait any longer.

You begged, “Yes. Yes, I am, just please cum inside me.”

And he did.

He filled you to the brim. You felt him twitch inside of you as his hips stuttered. He held onto you so tightly you were sure it would leave marks. You were both breathing hard. He stayed inside of you and held you against him. He put his forehead against yours as you regained your breath.

He kissed you again, this time not wanting to pull away. But, you did. You pulled yourself off of him and laid down as the realization of what you did started sinking in. He lied down next to you and stared at the ceiling.

Silence. And after a few moments, you turned your head and spoke.

“So, is this it?” It came out more timid than you would have liked it to.

He gave you a look you couldn’t quite place and after a moment he said, “Oh, love, you’re mine now.”

#jim the delinquent season x reader #jim delinquent season #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #jim delinquent season x reader #jim delinquent season x f!reader #professor!jim x reader #i proofread this but no one is perfect #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #annie writes

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dark-fics-4-you · 1 year

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step bro rafe who plays football or hockey. idk it just seems hot🙏

Number One Fan

I’m gonna combine this with this request: Something with step bro rafe where the reader calls him rafey and it turns him on but she doesn’t know…

(This can be read as a continuation of my previous step bro!Rafe fic, but i’m not sure if I want to make a bunch of drabbles or one connected narrative so we’ll see what happpens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Next chapter

Warnings: drinking, relationship between step siblings, rafe is having unpure thoughts👀

The stadium was packed with college students and fans, roaring as the whistle blew.

You were close to the field, eager to get a good view of Rafe. He was the star quarterback of East Carolina University, and for good reason.

He had led the team to victory in all 10 of their last games.

The score was evened out, with only a few seconds left on the clock, everyone was eager to see what would happen next.

When the whistle blew again and the ball was passed to Rafe, you cheered loudly.

He dodged two players, dancing around them before running all the way to the endzone.

Everyone on the crowded bleachers jumped to their feet, cheering and screaming at the touchdown, but no one was louder than you.

“Go Rafe! Go!! Woo!!!”

You beamed proudly as you watched him pump his fist in the air, fist bumping his teammates as they congratulated him.

You were one of the first people to rush to the field, running up to your older brother and practically jumping on him in your excitement to hug him.

“Oh my god, Rafey! That was such a good game!” You squealed. “You were awesome! That last touchdown was amazing!”

Rafe flashed you a grin, perfect teeth winking in under the bright lights of the stadium. “Thanks, Y/N/N. You know I win every game just for you,” he joked and you giggled along.

“Hey, some of my teammates and I are gonna go out for drinks after we get cleaned up, wanna tag along?”

“Sure!” You smiled up at him. You were always happy when he included you in things he was doing, which admittedly was a lot of the time.

“Perfect, sugar. Here are my keys,” he tossed you them. “Why don’t you bring the truck around to where the locker room exit is, you can wait in there till I’m done. Okay?”

“Yeah! Sounds good!” You parted ways, heading to the truck but you didn’t notice how his gaze stayed on your back as you walked away.

~~~~~~

“That’s a pretty hot piece of ass you had hanging around you, Cameron,” one of Rafe’s friends joked, suggestively nudging the blond with his elbow.

“Shut up, Wilson,” Rafe snapped. His stomach lurched at the comment. He didn’t like the idea of any of his friends trying to sleep with you.

In fact, he didn’t like the idea of anyone trying to sleep with you. The very thought made him sick.

“Hey, I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind if she came around more, amiright?” Wilson asked the other guys around him that had seen you and they all laughed and nodded.

“Knock it off, seriously,” Rafe warned. “She’s not interested.” He could feel his irritation rising, his face heating up.

“Damn okay Cameron, chill. We were just joking,” someone else interjected.

“Well I’m not fucking laughing.” He pulled on his shirt before slamming the locker door. “I don’t think I’m gonna go out tonight anymore. See ya at practice.”

A few guys complained, “come on Rafe, we didn’t mean anything by it.”

But he was already halfway out the door.

~~~~~~

“Change of plans,” Rafe said as he climbed into the driver’s seat and you clicked your buckle.

You looked at him inquisitively. “Oh?”

“We’re gonna go out, just the two of us. None of the guys.” He started the truck, pulling out of the parking lot and towards the road.

“Oh, okay.” You said in a confused tone. “Why are they not coming?”

He was silent for a moment and you glanced at him again.

“Rafey?”

“I just decided that I’d rather go out with my favorite girl instead,” he said with a smile, ruffling your hair and you grinned.

“Oh, okay!” You said happily. “Ooh could we go to this bar that I know, it’s on Seventh street.” You babbled away about the bar you wanted to go to.

Rafe shifted in his seat, trying as hard as possible to hide his growing erection, nodding along but he was finding it hard to pay attention to anything you were saying, attention shifting between watching the road, and turning to examine your features.

He pulled up to the bar and you hopped out of the car. You both showed your ID’s at the door and found a booth to sit at, Rafe pulling you in to the same side he was on so you could be closer.

A waiter came to get your drink orders, you got a fruity cocktail and Rafe got a beer, and Rafe ordered a plate of loaded nachos for you to share.

Your drinks came quickly and you offered Rafe a sip of your cocktail, which he took before offering you a sip of his beer.

You took a quick swig, face scrunching up at the flavor. “Bleh, I still have no idea how you like beer so much, Rafey!” You giggled, leaning against him in the small booth, his arm wrapped around your waist.

“You get used to it if you drink enough, Y/N/N.” The blond laughed, grabbing a nacho off of the plate in between the two of you.

“I just think it’s so gross,” you shook your head, smiling.

“Please, you’re one to talk. I still remember that time you tried to make mixed drinks for us at that party and they sucked so bad I nearly threw up.” He chuckled.

“Shut up! I got better afterwards!” You laughed hard at the memory. “So mean, Rafey,” you said with a fake pout.

“Not true, I’m always nice to you, Y/N/N,” Rafe sounded surprisingly earnest. “You know I would do anything for you.”

“I know, I know,” you finished your cocktail, catching the waiter’s eye before ordering a second.

You leaned back, melting into your step brother’s arms.

“You’re my favorite person in the whole world,” Rafe whispered quietly. “You know that, right?”

There was a strange moment when you met his eyes, odd feelings washed over you. The intensity in his look stirred something in you that you couldn’t identify.

“Yeah I know, Rafey. You’re my favorite person too.”

He smiled at that, pulling you closer to his warm body. You cuddled against his chest, enjoying the circles he was tracing lazily into your back with his fingers.

Your second drink arrived and you downed it quickly, feeling a little beyond tipsy by the time the two of you stepped out of the bar.

He drove you home, comfortable silence most of the way. You felt warm and the alcohol in your system made you feel much more affectionate.

Rafe opened the front door of the house for you, allowing you to lean on him drunkenly as he guided you inside.

When you reached the top of the stairs, you paused, not wanting to go to bed alone.

“Would it be okay if I slept in your bed tonight, Rafey?” You asked, looking up at your step brother with hopeful eyes. “I just feel more comfortable when you’re by me.”

“Sure, Y/N/N.” Rafe smiled at you, leading you to his room.

You kicked off your shoes, taking your shorts off before dropping them on the floor. “Do you have a shirt I could wear, Rafey?”

His eyes fell on you, noting your bare legs and the pink panties you had under your shorts. His mouth felt dry, and it took him a second to remember you had just asked him a question.

“Um, yeah I should have one…” he searched in a drawer, before tossing you the oversized shirt.

You pulled it on, unclipping your bra underneath the shirt before putting it with your shorts and top.

Rafe kicked off his shorts, stripping to his boxers before pulling his shirt off over his head. He stepped towards his door, flicking the lights off.

You crawled into his bed, breathing in his smell in the sheets, scooting over when he followed.

Usually when you slept in Rafe’s bed, you were the one who pressed to him, hugging his back as he faced away from you, but this time, you were surprised when you felt the warmth of his chest press to your back, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

As you dozed off to sleep, you were none the wiser that your step brother was beside you, hard as a rock, and imagining things that were far from brotherly.

Chapter 2

#rafe cameron #outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #dark rafe cameron #obx #drew starkey #rafe cameron fanfic #stepbro!rafe #stepbro!rafe cameron #number one fan

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cringelordofchaos · 3 months

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Stan questioning their gender in The Cissy

For the purpose of this post I will refer to Stan with they/them pronouns, although I usually use he/him for them.

This is the end... Of being cis...

Ahem.

Let us start, from The beginning:...

Cartman told Stan Wendy/l is "telling everyone (s)he likes girls" and identifies as a boy, "which would mean Stan's a girl", which starts confusing them... ("cartman's a girl? Wendy's a boy? Could I... also be something nobody noticed before?" - Is what I assume was going on inside their head.)

Their confusion/curiosity prompts them to seek some form of explanation... Support, reassurance.

They go to their dad.

"Dad, Is it possible for someone to be one way on the outside, but totally different on the inside?"

"I mean - can someone identify as one sex, but be something else, but still have it be nothing about sex?"

I do find it somewhat interesting that Randy is the first person Stan goes to when confused about this. It wouldn't be the first time - similiar scenario occurred in "Tweek x Craig", where they were confused about Tweek and Craig being depicted as gay by the new girls in school, despite neither of them showing any signs of being gay before. They turn to Randy, despite their rocky relationship- but I digress. Randy simply tells them yes, that can be the case. And explains to the, how he(?)'s actually Lorde, to which Stan faints - i have no comment of relevance

Leaving them possibly more confused then before...

Further confusion ensues.

They don't know where they belong ...

Did they ever?

And they finally decide...

But, shortly after, they get in Trouble (or at least undergo interrogation)

When asked why they felt the need to go to the transgender bathroom/didn't feel comfortable using the boys bathroom, they respond -

"I just... Two people close to me are having gender identity issues and I'm confused."

So, their confused feelings of gender identity could possibly be due to their empathy, rather than them actually being trans. Throughout the series it is frequently shown that Stan is a pretty empathetic kid, and easily emotionally influenced - this could easily be another demonstration of their high emotional empathy.

But ya never know.

But the interesting thing is that in this episode, it's acknowledged that being transgender and gender dysphoria is a real thing people struggle with, but that's not Cartman, as cartman's only using being transgender as an excuse to get access to a cleaner bathroom. Stan here could possibly be the demonstration of a kid actually struggling with gender identity, as a parallel to Cartman in a way (?), as while Cartman's new gender identity is accepted despite probably not being trans, Stan is perceived to be cis and transphobic by everyone despite them genuinely being confused about their gender, unlike Cartman.

At the end, when it is officially announced anyone can go to any bathroom they feel comfortable in, including trans and cis kids, and if they're not comfortable sharing a bathroom with anyone possibly trans they'll have to go to a separate "cissies" bathroom, Stan feels comfortable enough going to the boys bathroom, only with this knowledge intact. (I mean, if they were non binary and possibly had to choose between "girls" "boys" and "cissies", they possibly felt most comfortable with "boys")(and also, perhaps knowing they're not the only non-cis/not fully cis person in the bathroom at all times comforted them..?). However, they're bullied into the cissies bathroom, because everyone assumes Stan's transphobic because they're all fucking dumbasses.

Now, them questioning/being confused about their gender is never referenced again in the series, at least I doubt it is. But, from what we've been shown, I just find it all very interesting. Idk.

Long post short, non binary/demi-boy Stan real 💯💯💯

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 months

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i was sitting next to this guy while hanging out with some friends, and he was always a little flirty, and i never responded to it but i've stayed friendly ya know? this time he put his hand on my thigh, and i just kind of brushed him off and moved away and everything was fine. Now tho, everyone around me is acting like this is a huge deal and he shouldn't have done it and like,,, i get it, but also he wasn't aggressive and he backed off right away so i don't think it was a big deal at all 1/3

now tho my friends want me or themselves to confront him about it and i'm just so ??? because genuinely it was such a small thing to me and it feels like people around me want me to make it into a big deal for themselves more than to stand up for me since i don't think this needs to become A Thing at all, especially for a dude i've met twice and will probably rarely ever see in my life. idk how to get them to back off because it feels like they're not listening to me or don't believe me 2/3 but to put it in perspective i've been more uncomfortable in the past with men putting their hands on my shoulder/arm when trying to pass by in a crowded space than this guy trying to flirt and backing off the second i moved away. any advice on getting my friends to chill? 3/3

hi anon,

this is an interesting one. do you think your friends would recognize the irony if you pointed out that it sounds like they're being far more pushy and dismissive of your boundaries than the man who they want you to stage a confrontation with?

it's noble of your friends to want to look out for you, of course, but supporting people who we perceive as the recipients of inappropriate behavior means listening to them when they express what they actually need to feel supported. in your case, it's letting the entire thing go because this barely even registers as an issue.

I have to say that I'm incredibly inclined to agree with you here; while this lad may have been a bit forward in putting his hand on you, it sounds like his reaction - dropping it and backing off - was exactly what you were hoping for. human interactions are always going to have messy little edges where we bump up against each other and the signals don't quite line up; that's not a crime. what matters is how people react when they're given a No. by your account, this lad took it like a champ, understanding your no and backing off accordingly.

if that's good enough for you then I think it's really overbearing and, as you alluded to, a little self-serving of your friends to keep trying to pursue this and lambast a guy for a completely reasonable interaction. what exactly are they hoping to accomplish? do they want him to make an elaborate written apology to you, a thing that you've made very clear you don't want? do they want him to promise never to touch someone without explicit verbal permission again, a fairly ludicrous amount of control to demand over someone else's behavior? like. what is the end goal, gamers? what are we actually trying to accomplish? are some of your friends perhaps reacting to this based on their own past experiences? that's understandable, of course, but inappropriate when they're ignoring your own expressed desires in favor of their ideas about what they think you should want.

listen: you can't control your friends' thoughts, but you can ask them to shut the fuck up. if you haven't already, I would recommend sending out some kind of mass statement (there's a groupchat, right? this feels like a groupchat situation, which I say as a terminal group chatter) telling everyone that you, personally, are done talking about this and don't want to hear any more about it, and if anyone wants to confront thigh guy about it then they're at liberty to do that but they'd better make very clear that they're not doing so at your request or with your permission.

if you're feeling extra cunty you can top that off with a little "please respect that, since you all say you're so worried about my boundaries" but that may be a little much.

#sex edventures 2024

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onskepa · 1 year

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Na'vi Children with humans

Hellooooo, so I have done a poly, then a single two pair, now I was thinking what other's I could do. So then, I thought of the children. Now for this I will admit, I did pull ideas from other fellow tumblr users. I will tag them by the end of the list. As well as the other two previous headcanons that I did in case you are all interested. If you would like to use this list for inspiration or use it in your fics, I don't mind, but please credit me. Now that's out of the way, LETS GO!

----------------------------

[ FYI I pulled this off the internet, if this is yours pls let me know so I can tag ya]

Na'vi children I would say, would live as normal as na'vi life can be, be it hybrid, or full bloodied, despite having a human for a parent.

I can imagine them be really close to their human parent, enjoy the facial expressions, soft warmth the human provides, and since their Na'vi parent is always busy, they have their human parent to enjoy and have fun time with.

The human parent would tell human children stories, sing classical nursery songs, and possibly games they grew up with.

If the human were to explore or doing something around the village, the Na'vi children would obviously follow them very closely, and simply being happy being near their smaller parent.

I can see the na'vi kids being jealous of just about anyone. Be it their other parent or other kids taking their human parent attention away from them. Might hiss or yell in frustration.

If they could, they would cling on to them for the rest of their lives.

Of course would spend every minute with not just their human parent but as well as their na'vi parent. Spending family time together.

If the Na'vi children were to have human features, should they feel a bit insecure about their oddities, their human parent would support and uplift their confidence. Telling them its another addition of them simply being unique.

When growing up and doing their Iknimaya, the Na'vi children would no doubt feel pressured in some way to perfect their skills, be it in hunting or healing, or in some other way, their worries will always be there.

While yes their Na'vi parent will always be their to support them, the human parent is more like a support that Na'vi kids seek.

Refuse to do their duties without a loving kiss and hug from their human parent. Tends to be physically affectionate with their human parent.

Saying anything bad about their human parent, both Na'vi child and mate would pounce and silence those who speak ill of their human.

As the Na'vi kids get older and taller, easily over towering their human parent, they will share the same instinct as their na'vi parent to protect their human parent as they are smaller and can easily hurt themselves.

The Na'vi parent would absolutely tell how their kids how to fight back others if other na'vi they hurt their human parent, and how to protect them should the Na'vi parent not be there.

No matter how old the Na'vi kids are, even if they are now adults, they will still seek out their human parent, if the now grown up Na'vi have kids of their own, the human parent, now grandparent, would be there for the new generation until their time ends.

Now again, I might add or change things. Idk. But that is all. This one is special, all thanks to these people, check out their materials too!

@hinataashoyos @i-thirsty-boi @mandomaterial @sunandsstars @avatarbyamara @star-girl69 @wholelottawidows https://www.tumblr.com/byunpum

Now after this one, I am not sure what else to do. Still got no story to say, I dont mind suggestion! Hope you all liked it! And if you haven't read the other two, here are the links to them!

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montimer · 3 months

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I've seen a lot of people do nurse and guard readers with the Joker. As someone that has to stay at a mental clinic themselves, I wanna ask if you could do some Headcanons for a fellow inmate!reader ?

If something is incorrect, im sorry! I never been to one but i try my best to make this close to reality. Also i hope you are okay now =] / ♡\

Joker x inmate!reader

Gn!reader, ending is a bit yandere. Could be any joker but i'll go with tnba one

Because of your mental state you were taken to the only place in gotham that was avaliable. Arkham asylum

You weren't crazy no. But there was no where else that you could be taken to. Or so your therapist said so.

Arkham was, something else to say atleast. Sure they got the basic medication and group therapy, but you where also surrounded by villains and other crazyes that would kill to get out.

The doctor kept a check on ur progress, you attended those therapy groups, you did your best to stay away from too dangerous people.

But it wasn't so long till he took a notice of you. The joker.

He first saw you trough his windowed cell. Staring at the new patient. He thought you were just another lost case. Oh but how wrong he was.

The more he saw you, the more he wanted to go up and talk to you. Sadly to him the guards made sure to keep him at his place.

But he had his first chance to talk to you when most of the patients could just chill in the "living room" (im sorry idk how its called lemme show a pic)

(Lobby?? Idk)

As he came in the door most of the patients moved as far aways as they could. You looked up to see who it was that they were so afraid of and you swear your heart just skipped a beat. The joker himself standing at the door, a pleased smile appeared on his face, proud of the fact that many fear him so much. Why he gotta be here of all places?

The guards standed aside and as his eyes landed on you, an even bigger smile appeared on his face and he made his way to you.

You took your time to observe him as he walked towards you. He had white pale skin, his lips painted red, his spiky hair was dark green. He wore the same simple clothes as the other patients. You never seen him up close.

If he tries anything you'll just call for the guards, you tried calming yourself knowing theres no escape. You quickly grabbed a magazine infront of you from the table and started acting like you are busy.

Once he reached you, he sit down next to you on the couch.

He peaked over your shoulders. "What'cha readin'?" He smiled at you.

"Oh, uhh just some magazine.." you said still staring at the page. After not getting a response you looked up at him nervously.

"Ah finally, face to face" he slowly took the magazine out of your hand.

"Whats your name sweets? Haven't seen you around here before." He hold out his hand. "C'mon don't be shy, i don't bite"

"Im y/n.. just got here like a week ago yeah" you shook his hand.

"Y/n? I like the sound of that. Well, you know my name don't'cha? Incase you don't, im The Joker."

"I know, the prince of crime?"

"The one and only!" He said smiling back, happy with your knowledge.

"You are not crazy, so why are ya here?" Interested in you he asks.

You explain your situation and he nods.

"Ah yes, gothams best cure for the mentally ill is throwing them into an insane asylum" he says mockingly while looking at the guards

You giggle at that and it gets his attention. "Finally, a good audience. Haven't had one in so long" he smiles at you.

The two of you chatted for a while. You actually kind of enjoyed his company.

He made lots of jokes and whenever you laughed or even giggled a bit, it made his chest feel all warm and fuzzy. He didn't know how to took it in but all he knew is that he wanted to see you smile and laugh more.

After he ranted about how crappy this place is and he is planning his escape, he asked more about you. Listening to your voice, taking in the details of your face. He haven't had such nice and calm talk in so long. Let alone have anyone listen to his ranting.

The fun didn't last long as the guards made their way to take everyone back to their room/cells.

He looked up at the guard angrily but went anyway. He took one last look at you as he was dragged away.

After that he absolutely loves seeing and talking to you. At the cafeteria, at the rooms. Whenever he can, he'll be around you. The others warn you about him, but to you he seems so sweet in person, only to you.

He slowly realizes he has fallen for you in your staying.

He is extremely clingy and protective. Asking if anyone is annoying you or needed to be 'taken care of'.

He'll wave at you from his cell, calling out to you.

He makes silly attempts to flirt and you just giggle at it, not thinking much about it. But to him, to him it means so much.

But then the time comes when you are finally let out. Before that day you tell him about it happily, so proud of the fact that you can go back to your home. He frowns, you are leaving? Forever?

Oh but he quickly regains his smile. Hes gonna make his escape and will do anything to find you. After all you said you live in gotham, and he can easily find his targets. Atleast now he won't have to wait too long to meet you. No one will interrupt him.

He is already planning his confession and will send lots of gifts to your house. You didn't really think you can get away from him so easily, did you?

He loves you so much, you are his darling, the sweetest! The only one for him, even if you don't know yet...

Silly you, belive you him, your gonna love it with him.

Now he just needs to take you to his hide out to explain. Hopefully you'll understand ;]

#the joker #joker #joker x reader #the joker x reader #the joker x gn reader #joker x gn reader #animated joker #tnba joker #btas joker x reader #btas joker #tnba joker x reader

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seelestia · 5 months

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we missed you, welcome back!

i had a thought for a few days now and then i saw that you were back and i just had to share this

so imagine that you wake up in teyvat one day and you speak a different language bc they probably don’t speak english in teyvat, and no one understands you, but then there’s the smart haravatat ppl like alhaitham and faruzan (idk if there is anyone else) who use their smart language brains to figure out how to talk to you, i think that would be super cute

.💭

BRAINROT ANON— my comrade on tumblr, i missed you too!! i'm so honored that you thought of me aww :') you knew i'd be glad to brainrot with you anytime!! /gen. i focused less on how they communicate with you, but rather more on the events surrounding this concept. hope ya don't mind! so good to see you again <3

extra note: this was written from a platonic pov! yk those movies where a protagonist helps out their 'otherworldly' companion to go back to their home world? yeah, that's what i'm going for here. movies like 'home' and 'cj7' came to mind immediately. that's us and faruzan!! oh, and alhaitham is here too, i guess. /j

imagine waking up one day to find yourself transported to the middle of the hypostyle desert. the sun burns, scorching hot on your skin then suddenly, it's gone? oh no, some strange turquoise lady is peering at your face with disapproval. you suspect she thinks you're a reckless traveler who forgot to bring ample supplies to a place like this. “███ ███ ████ ███?” she says and you realize you don't understand a word.

[translation: did your water storage run out?]

imagine the confusion on faruzan's face when you mumble a few sentences? noises? grumbles? she specializes in semiotics (and ruins), not speech pathology so how is she supposed to know? anyway, she graciously takes you in! and brings you back to her residence. yes, yes, how generous, applaud her later but she cannot hand you over to the akademiya just yet. (who knows what they'll do with you? you're obviously not of this world.)

imagine trying to communicate with faruzan using other means besides language. one of them includes pointing at the fresh apple slices on her kitchen counter. she gives them to you and notes how you say 'tenk yu' (?) which she takes as a sign of gratitude. of course, she also jots it down in her notes alongside her observations. how interesting.

and she manages the grand feat of roping alhaitham in, somehow someway. he's a youngster (everyone is a youngster if you're one hundred years old at this point) far too solitary for her liking — plus, notoriously hard to convince but that helps: he's someone who won't tattle! that's her logic here. she even had to invite him over for dinner and introduce him to you herself! ugh, she really had no more funds left to spare... so this better works.

it did, oddly. alhaitham's first instinct is to question and his deductions conclude that you are far too genuine (for lack of a better word) for all of this to be a ruse. the way you pointed at his fit and gave him a thumbs-up he assumed that you meant to say you thought it's “cool”.

alhaitham observes you; when you speak, none of the words sound familiar to his experienced ears and trust him, his quota of languages exceed many. he is not here to brag, so don't twist it. nor do you seem to understand anything whenever he or faruzan speaks. you don't even react in the slightest when he mentions or addresses you directly, only a tap on the shoulder works. it's safe to assume you do not know teyvatian language.

the guy in gray green turns to madam faru with a hum. she taught you to refer to her that way. it took hard work and lots of apple slices. “██... ██ ███ ████ █ ████?” he asks.

[translation: so... do you have a plan?]

“██ ███ █████!” she puffs out her chest in determination.

[translation: in due time!]

he sighs.

you blink, eternally confused.

#i'm a sucker for found family trope AGHHH!!!#genshin impact hcs #genshin imagines #genshin sagau #kinda? i'm not sure how to tag this help #jumbled rambles! 🪶#<- new & more self-explanatory tag to replace the old one #visitor: dearest brainrot anon! 💭

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scekrex · 6 months

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It's my first time asking a prompt to ANYONE, and I'm horrible at english so if the prompt is bad you can ignore.

So Adam is visiting earth one day in human form(because Sera let him for once) and as Adams roaming around the city (He can do whatever you want on earth) he sees the reader and he's like "Holy shit... He's hot." So Adam flirts with the Reader and the Readers like "Wtf?" But he just goes along with it. But soon Adam has to go back up to heaven and he feels really sad, so he like kisses (ig?) the reader and the reader again goes "WTF??? but Okay? He's cute, I like him."

So like, a few years later, Adam is strolling around Heaven when he sees reader again, and he's in complete disbelief that the hot guy from earth is in heaven. So Adam goes up to him, and is so excited because he's never felt like that meeting somebody, except for Eve and Lillith, Adam than helps the reader around heaven and stuff like that, and than maybe like a time skip where one of them proposes to the other? Idk.

It's shitty, I know. But I absoulutly love your writing :)

Shush bitch it's not shitty and it was so fun to write!! So here ya gooo xoxo/p

Love at first sight, I still believe

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

This was supposed to be a quick thing, down to earth, get the shit heaven didn’t offer, leave.

Adam wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of walking around on earth, it felt dirty, impure. Sinners and Winners both roamed on earth and safety was never guaranteed and yet he came down there once a year when his creation day neared to get some of the food he liked so much that heaven refused to hold in store for him - like seriously, he was allowed to eat rips but some alcohol and chicken burgers were too much to ask for? Apparently.

He was just walking through the streets to get to the store he always visited as you came into his view. You were wearing some comfortable clothes, your hair all messy from a busy, stressful day at work and all you craved was your favorite drink. The angel in human disguise was interested immediately and therefore quick to catch up to you. “What’s a fucking pretty boy like you doin’ here,” the cocky smirk on Adams lips was huge and his confidence was on a level too high to even comprehend. You simply looked up at the tall man you’ve never seen before and raised an eyebrow at him. Adam was leaning against one of the shelves, his arms crossed over his chest and his chin tilted upwards which made himself seem even bigger than he already was. His human disguise came with a normal height, yet he was still taller than most of the other earthlings, looking over their heads with a height of 6 '5 feet. “Can I help ya, man?” was your casual response as you weren’t quite sure what exactly it was the stranger wanted. Adam craved his wings, he wanted to wrap them around you to pull you in but humans had no wings so as long as he was roaming on earth neither did he - it was a shame honestly. But his charm would work even without the golden feathers. “Oh fuck yeah you can, babes.” When the pet name left his lips you straightened your back and shot him a questionable look. “See, I’ve been looking for a pretty boy like you and your fucking ass seems to perfectly fit my type.” And he meant it because even though you were human just like all the others and for what Adam knew you could be the most horrible one of them all, you had a vibe. A vibe that told him you weren’t like the sinners, you weren’t like the other angels either. It was something about you that pulled him in, enchanted him even. And while your looks definitely played into it, it wasn’t fully because of them. There was something else, something he had no idea how to explain nor did he have a name for it. And if someone were to ask how to describe you in one word, Adam would have responded with ‘divine’.

You rolled your eyes at the attempts of the handsome stranger to flirt with you - the confidence he seemed to have was impressive, you gave him that, but over all? Way too much. He should try and play it smoother, less like he just wants to get in your pants and more honest - unless getting in your pants was his goal, then he met the wrong person by hitting on you though. Not that he would have known. “What’s next? You wanna ask me if it hurt when I fell from heaven?” At that the taller brunette snorted and shook his head, “Oh fuck no babes, I come from up there and I ain’t ever seen a dude quite as sexy as you there. And I’ve been there ever since the start of humanity.” That made you furrow your eyebrows at him, “What, you wanna tell me you’re Adam?” And for a second Adam thought he had slipped up, that he had just revealed who he really was and that Sera would come for his ass once he’s back in heaven. But then he led the conversation in a different direction by shrugging his shoulders and responding casually, “Well, that’s what my fam calls me, you however can simply call me Dickmaster, shawty.” You simply rolled your eyes at that, dickmaster? Was this dude serious? Apparently he was. Because his eyes were full of confidence and his body language looked quite proud.

You wanted to put that confidence of his to a test though, so you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him down to your height, a cocky yet lazy grin met his surprised expression as you spoke, “That so? Is that what your girlies call ya?” Adam, who had not expected you to react that way, was absolutely overwhelmed, yet he craved you even more for pulling a stunt like that. Confidence made you look even sexier. But no answer left his lips, the first man was a little too stunned to speak so all he did was staring at you. “What happened to the confidence of yours, dickmaster?” The people around you were staring at you, curious eyes were watching closely as you two did, what you did. But you really couldn’t care, not when the man flirting with you was quite handsome, probably the most beautiful dude you’d find in this shitty town. The brunette in front of you continued to just watch you, his brain was not able to answer you at all, not when he was able to feel your breath on his face. “Think I can reboot ya brain with a kiss?” you cockily asked, because while kissing him seemed tempting, consent was important. When Adam gave you a small nod - that was literally all his body was capable of - you were quick to connect your lips to his. And despite how much shit this dude had been talking, his lips were surprisingly soft and he wasn’t a bad kisser either - the exact opposite was the case if you were being honest. But his ego was huge already, there was no need to tell him.

The years had passed but the memory of him meeting you on earth for the first time felt still fresh, like it had just happened a couple hours ago. Adam was walking the streets to his favorite guitar store to buy a new set of strings when he spotted a familiar face. A face he should have already forgotten about but yet couldn't get out of his head at all. Your face.

What in God’s mighty name were you doing in heaven? Had you been as pure as Adam had thought you were? Were you as divine as you had looked?

Your eyes met his and you frowned at him, Adam had already completely forgotten about the fact that he was wearing his mask and even if you would still remember his human disguise, there was simply no way you would be able to recognize him with his exterminator mask on. Adam however walked over to you, confidence filled his body as always when he casually wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You flinched away from his touch immediately, removed his arm from your body and took a step back to create a certain distance between you and him. “You wanna tell me I’m that forgettable?” the first man asked and for a moment you were convinced there was a flash of hurt in those glowing yellow eyes that were on display for you to see. “I’m pretty sure I don’t fucking know you,” and while you the familiar sounding voice from somewhere, you weren’t sure if it was just your mind playing tricks on you or if you actually ever met somebody with that voice. It had only been a couple days since your soul had arrived in heaven after all. “Fucking excuse me?” the man next to you exclaimed, his hand moved to cover the center of his chest in a dramatic way which caused your frown to deepen. “You wanna tell me you forgot about the fucking Adam?” And suddenly everything fell into place and the memories came back to you. Adam, that’s who that voice of the stranger next to you belonged to. But the dude didn’t look the part, not even in the slightest. That’s when the first man seemed to remember his mask - he was quick to take the thing off and shoot you a lazy smile, “How about that, you fucking remember me now?” Your eyes locked with his and you saw the same cockiness reflecting in those golden orbs that the brown ones had held when you had met Adam for the first time. He looked different, not in a negative way at all. And suddenly everything fell into place in your head, he hadn’t been joking when he had told you he was the Adam because he literally seemed to be the Adam. The first man.

The brunette seemed to notice that you caught onto it, that you had just wrapped your beautiful mind around the fact that he was in fact the first human oh did the realization look good in your eyes - that caused his grin to widen, “Knew you couldn’t forget a man as handsome as me.” You were the one that was too stunned to speak this time because was the first man really flirting with you? Yet another winner, just one out of all the others? You were really nothing special - especially compared to him. But yet he seemed to be interested in you - fuck he had ben ever since had first seen you. “Why-” you wanted to ask him why he didn’t tell you, why he was interested in you, why you. But Adam’s finger which the first man pressed against your lips shushed you. “We got time babes. Let’s start at the fucking beginning.”

When someone would’ve told you a couple thousand years ago that one day you’d end up in heaven you would’ve called bullshit on that - not because you had been a bad person but rather because you didn’t fully believe it was possible to end up in heaven. And if that same person would’ve also told you that you’d be dating Adam in your afterlife? Fuck you weren’t sure how you would’ve reacted. But there you were, at a rock concert with your boyfriend Adam. In Heaven. And on top of it was your relationship with Adam, the most healthy relationship you’ve ever had in all of your existence.

The both of you had been dating for a good two thousand years, sure you had your ups and downs, but that was normal, that was the case with every relationship. But you and Adam had managed to solve the problems, well to be fair Lute had helped with some of the harder things, but you had made it. So when the singer started to shout the lyrics of the song you and Adam had claimed at yours and Adam dropped to his knee, you choked on your breath for a moment.

The brunette pulled out a small box that was covered in golden velvet, opened it with skilled fingers and extended the hand he was holding it in towards you. No words were spoken, not that you would’ve understood each other over the fucking loud music and screaming crowd anyways. But you were quick to join him on his knees, pulled him into a hug and buried your face in his neck.

Yes.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

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amsgrey · 24 days

Text

I judt found this draft/idea thing in my drafts from over two years ago (written before Little Sister Hugs) and i genuinely cracked up so much rereading it bc it would be really funny.

would anyone be interested in this?

Jay and hailey are busy with a case involving drug trafficking with military dudes or smth

you and will go out for dinner bc you get like n A+ in science or some shit and Will is all proud older brother

you get a call from Jay that the case is ramping up so he wont be home tonight and then ur like lit ill stay at wills i just gotta grab some stuff

you and will walk in and the house is like a mess and your like uh wtf

and will is like ok let me call jay or the cops or whatever

before he can he gets like smacked from behind like all those stupid movies

ur like o shit what the actual fuck

these big old dudes are in all black and holding like riffles bc intimidating and ur like :o

and ur standing in the kitchen so you do that really funny grab for the closest weapon and its like a pan that was waiting to dry or something entirely useless

theyre like yeah ok sure put it down u dimwit

u like stand over will being like feck off my brothers a cop

theyre like ha lol yeah we know we tryna find him where he at

ur like ha what i dont know? wouldn't have a clue

and theyre like ok then u come with us and ur like uh no sir

omg what if they chloroformed them that would be the funniest trope ever

jay is like workin the case being all undercover n shit and then he gets a call and its wills phone and hes like oh what did y/n do

will is like silent

jay is like yo whats up u alg

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO SAY WHERE THEY JUST SEND LIKE A SUPER FUCKING ANGSTY SHIT QUALITY VIDEO OF THEM LIKE BEATING WILL WHICH IS SUPER FUCKING NOT FUNNY BUT IS FUNNY TO IMAGINE THE UNO REVERSE FOR JAY

Jay immediately looses his mind and tries calling u like wheres will tf

obvi u dont answer and hes like this aint right

the team go to jays house and its all like torn apart but nothign like bad?

they call in the lab and the labs were like oh hey there's blood but they cleaned it? or smth

jay is spiralling and then they get anoter video of u? idk something else angsty

theyre like release our dude and give us back all the idk like guns and shit and voight is like ok well no way they let us do that

jay almost going cowboy cop

everyones like well this is great

you are like locked up by zipties bc criminals are stupid and you manage to like breakfree like a real mvp

u like find a gun or smth bc thats fun and free will

your all like well theres enough warehouses n creepy buildings in chicago for u to be anywhere so tf where we at

wills all leave me bc thats a funny trope and ur like shut the fuck up u dumbass

some military dude comes round the corner with his gun and sees u tryna walk with dead weight will and hes like? what are-

you shoot him bc badass bitch

he like fall down is all bloody and ur like o shit i just killed a man

will is like ya we gotta go ok like this shit serious fam

you walk around a corner and they all be sitting around in the big room and u and will are like oh hi guys

they all like point guns and ur like ah man we dead

but then!! intellegence is all out ur guns on the ground now! police things!

one of them like aims his gun but someone shoots his gUN bc i think thats the badassest thing ever and then he like has a bleeding hand and grabs u and knife to the throat thing bc trope central over here

no one has a clean shot so they all like omg dude let her go

do u get like seriously hurt? lowkey imagine like them dying and jay and will being like a mess ok thats way too dark but i like?

you either

die

get seriously maimed like idk loose a limb or smth idk

or ur unharmed and are like omg how am i not even bruised tf is this

depends on the level of angst idk

if anyone wants to ready this lmk i might actually write it

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #will halstead #chicago pd x reader #chicago med #one chicago imagine

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youkaigakkou-tl · 6 months

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Ok, damn, call me out (joking I don't mind!)

The question is, What do you (or anyone in the fandom) think Ranmaru's attachment style (secure, disorganized, ambivalent/anxious, or avoidant) is?

(yes this is for my psychology class, yes I am doing a character profile on this man ((actually it's more fun, maybe I'll ask my teacher if I could show you guys it if anyone is interested in that kind of stuff idk)), yes its fine if anyone else wants to weigh in)

I've just been flip flopping on which one he is, so if ya want to answer it thanks, if you don't than still thanks

shit ok idk psychology so im just going off wikipedia here

he reads as dismissive-avoidant to me mostly, hes cagey about everything, the number of people he engages with regularly can be counted on one hand and youd have fingers left over, he acts like he depends on the troupe and douman for petty stuff but he really doesnt trust/depend on people for stuff that matters (his secret motive that he thinks douman will help achieve that hes also not going to tell him about, also not telling douman that hes gonna get smited for killing him) (and also he doesnt want others to depend on him)

...although i guess he could also be fearful-avoidant (was that the other one u were flip flopping on?), its unclear how much of him is an act (but if ur putting on an act 100% of the time isnt that just called your personality??), but i dont think his self esteem is that bad

i do wanna hear ur take bc ur the one taking the class after all, and also what that project is 👀

#asks

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goddess-of-bubblegum · 1 month

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~your court jester~ leo x daughter of zeus!reader !medieval AU!

(I did the chap!!)

You were a child of Zeus, king of Olympia who was married to Queen hera, which whom he had triplets with, Jason, Thalia and you, with you being the youngest

Today was the day a ball was being held, where you could see your cousins and friends. You knew for certain that king posidon and qeen amphridite of atlantia would be there, along with his children; prince percy and tyson and king Hades and queen Persephone of Elysia and their children nico and hazel would be there too, but it wasn't them you were exited about.

Nor was it lady athena , the war-rstrategist with her children, and it wasn't lord Ares (war commander) or anyone else of the sort.

In fact, it wasn't even a noble person at all!

It was leo , the child of the palaces blacksmith. You felt a familiar flutter in your stomach as you thought of him, but you knew your mother and father would have your head on a platter if they ever knew.

They wanted you to marry a nobleman (or woman), or atleast someone in a position of power, not some pesant child of the palaces blacksmith! Alas, they found you weren't happy with any of the suitors they showed you, but hope was (unfortunately) not lost for them.

》I just don't understand it piper!《 you grunted as she pulled the corset strings tighter, the handmaiden child of Aphrodite, the tailor for the royals hanging on your every word.

》what is it that you don't understand, m'lady《 you blinked and pushed some of her styled hair out of her face

》no need to call me that and I just....I dont know why I'm not falling for any nobles! I mean, there's percy, who looks like a God, hazel who looks stunning, and even from the people who aren't nobles who my parents would approve of, like lady annabeth, aren't that interesting!《

》well, I know you've been looking at the court jester, leo, you do know he's a close friend of mine, Right?《

she finished adjusting your cosetband moved on to fixing your gown

》plus, prince nicholas-《

》He preffers to be called nico《 you interrupt

》Prince nico is dating the local bard, William, and his parents seem to approve 《

You sigh as you push another strand of hair away from your [e/c] eyes 》well yes, but bard and jester are two different things! And Williams father is a well respected bard, Leo's dad is the blacksmith of the palace who is highly unliked for his looks, not that leo inherited any, of course! But Apollon the bard does have strong ties with King Hades, so of course nico dates him! Whereas my mother and father both hate hephastios the weaponmaker《

Piper sighs, mildly exasperated with how dramatic you were 》well who are they going to introduce you to next, a guard?《 she makes an attempt at a joke, trying to lighten the mood

》not too far off, actually, you know the soldier lityerses? The child of lady demeter?《 you sigh and try not to ruin your make-up by face-palming

》oooh, he's a catch! But I must say I prefer shel...《 Piper thought fondly of the village baker-girl, with whom she was absolutely smitten with

》ya know, sometimes I wish I was a commoner.....then it wouldn't matter who I'd married....《

Piper looked at you with pity in her eyes, before subtly looking at the window, seeming to say I told you so to leo with her eyes, who was standing outside the window all along

☆le time Skippy because idk what else to put here☆

You tapped the heel of your shoe against the floor at random intervals while playing with with a strand of your hair, your cousins have already arrived, that's not what you were nervous about, but it was now time to "entertain" the royals , which means you would see leo, the favorited court jester

》M-mother?-《 your tried to hide just how much your voice trembled, which your mother always found endearing

》w-when are the entertainers coming?《

》in a bit, my little peafowl, leodinaidas (i-i.....I butchered that, didn't I?) being the first to arrive 《

》o-okay....《 you sighed and looked out the window, seeing Piper laughing and cuddling with shel, and sighed wistfully You werent at all joking when you said you'd love to live a commoners life, close to no responsibilities, not having to deal with potential suitors and being able to love who you wanted to love.

Nico and will were on your right, and were laughing at something, will was nicos personal medic and bard, and they were dating which is parents did accept as will and his father were high in status.

He could date him without problems.

But you couldn't date leo

Speaking of-

You blushed hard the moment you saw leo enter the ballroom. 》my ladies, lords and lieges! It is I, leodinaidas the court jester! But you can call me leo , and pretty people can call me love~《

zeus chuckled at that, while hera rolled her eyesYou blushed and quickly looked away, gods why is he like this...... he continued with his jester bit, making jokes and making fun of everything

Eventually, his act died down and will started playing music for people to dance to, [I mean, they were in a ballroom] and you were just standing awkwardly on sidelines, watching your siblings and cousins dance with their partners.You sighed sadly and were deep in thought , only being pulled out when someone tapped your shoulder.

》huh?《 you looked behind you, not seeing anyone, before you felt someone take your hand in theirs 》hello gorgeous-《

You looked infromt of you, and flushed red immediately Infront of you was, who else would it be, leo

》l-leo?!《 you breathed out

》Hi gorgeous~ would you indulge me , a humble jester, in a dance with a stunning woman like you?《 You smiled nervously and looked over to where your sister, Thalia, was standing, who was grinning and giving you a thumbs up, zeus smirking and rolling his eyes as he looks at the both of you

》y-yeah s-sure......《 you tripped over your own words

He smiled and led you out to the dance floor, putting one hand on your shoulder and the other on your waist, starting to dance a slow waltz with you

You smiled and let him lead your moves, smiling widely for the first time in a whileAfter a while of dancing, you tripped and almost fell down, if it weren't for leo catching you bending down to your level, his lips only inches from yours.You blushed and leaned closer into his lips, only a breath away from touching his lips, so close you could almost count every single freckle on his face.

》may I?-.....《 he breathes out

You nod and inched closer to him, feeling butterfly's in your stomach as his lips touch yours, him kissing you being the best feeling you've felt for a while After a minute that felt like far more than that, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours

》Pipes told me You had a crush on me.....and I thank whatever force is pulling us together because I never thought my feelings would be reciprocated.....I love you《

And without thinking of potential consequences and pushing any judgement from your parents , the words fell out of your mouth 》I love you too《

@bast-the-best26 @reyna4ever @deciduowl

#percy jackson #pjo fanfic #pjo x reader #pjo hoo toa

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ghostlygeto · 1 year

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pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: not nsfw, but mentions toys so mdni!!, fluff, atsumu is there and a dumbass, atsumu specifically calls reader "girl", more selfship content because im insane :D, bad ending bc idk, i only cared about the middle bits. i never ever proof read btw

wc: 1k again somehow?? im crazy

the way you met sakusa kiyoomi was incredibly, and i mean incredibly, embarrassing. you would be out of town for four days, so you had to ask your incredibly attractive neighbor to take your package for you. he agreed, of course. and then the two of you moved on.

but when he gave you the package back, his ears tinted pink (you could only assume his cheeks were, too, but the black mask unfortunately covered them so you couldn’t tell), you felt mortified.

“sorry, my dumbass friend opened it when i left him in the same room as it,” sakusa’s words drilled into your brain, you felt your stomach fill with embarrassment.

sakusa remembered the exact moment it happened. atsumu kept insisting that it “wouldn’t be a big deal, you’ll never know the difference”. he’ll be extra careful in cutting through the tape, and make sure that he rewraps whatever is inside the little box just the way it came. sakusa warned atsumu not to, that it was impolite to snoop in other people’s things. atsumu swore it’d be fine. you’d have no idea he was even in there. sakusa threatened him some more, but made the mistake of leaving atsumu alone in the room with the package.

until he opened the box and saw the cute little sex toy, causing him to laugh out loud. “omiomi, yer neighbors a li’l perv! look at this!” he held it up, giggling some more at the clear glittery silicone in his hand. “can’t believe she’d buy somethin’ like this, why don’t she jus’ ask ya for the real deal? or if yer not interested maybe i could help ‘er out.”

sakusa walked back in the room horrified, seeing his best (soon to be dead) friend holding the contents of your package in his hand. “put that away, miya. you know you’re the perv here, going through someone else’s things like that. and we’ve barely spoken past our conversation when she asked me to pick up the package for her. i highly doubt she wants or needs any help with that. especially not from someone like you.”

“mean,” atsumu rolled his eyes, rewrapping the toy in it’s cloth packaging and bubble wrap. “nev’r hurt t’ask ‘er. maybe she’ll be thankful. do it, when you give it t’er! i’ll give ya money if ya do it.”

“i don’t want or need your money,” sakusa snatched the box out of atsumu’s hand, sighing as he realized now he’d have to explain to his pretty neighbor why her package was opened. and try to pretend that he didn’t know what was inside of it.

— – - – —

“uh, enjoy.” he wanted to kick himself in the stomach as he shoved the box into your arms, leaving you standing in your doorway somehow more embarrassed than you were to begin with.

why, why, why would he say something like that. you wanted to curl inside a hole and die, never to return. you had been kind of excited for the toy prior to now. but now even thinking about using it made you feel kind of sick to your stomach.

“thanks,” you replied while his back was turned, wishing you could retreat into yourself and never be seen by anyone outside your apartment ever again. you opened up the box when you were behind closed doors, seeing the poorly rewrapped bubble wrap before sighing loudly. you needed to do something as an apology. but would that make things more awkward? to bring him over some sort of baked good as an apology?

— – - – —

the knock on his door made his heart sink a little. sakusa hated unannounced company, and the only person who ever showed up unannounced (atsumu) was already sat comfortable in the living room of sakusa’s apartment.

you pretend to not notice the combined looked of shock and embarrassment when sakusa opened the door. you held up the tray of sweets, a combination of cookies and brownies. you weren’t sure what he liked best, so you settled with the most common desserts that almost everyone enjoyed: chocolate chip cookies and brownies. “these are for you, sakusa. as a thank you and apology for my package.”

sakusa stared down at the tray in your hands, trying to decide if he was going to accept it or not. he didn’t feel like he needed an apology (though the thank you was nice, as it’s the normal thing to). but the sound of sakusa’s grandma rang in his head, telling him that rejecting gifts was rude. he grabbed the tray from your hands, getting ready to bow and say his thanks when probably his worst nightmare came true.

“oh m’god, ‘re ya dildo girl?” atsumu asked, a large smile covering his face, “y’know i really hope ya didn’t mind my lookin’ in the box, omi told me not t’, but the curiosity was killin’ me.” he walked closer to the door, staring down at your blushing face. “not sure if he relayed my message, but if ya ever get tired of the dil-”

“enough, miya,” sakusa hissed, shoving his friend further back into the apartment. “i really am very sorry, y/n. about him, and the package thing.” he had to pretend he couldn’t feel the heat in his cheeks, hoping you’d do the same. “we can just pretend that never happened, if you want.”

you nodded your head, though you couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. the tall, pro-volleyball player sakusa kiyoomi towered over you, blush spread across his cheeks as he apologizes for his best friend, pro-volleyball player miya atsumu. if the circumstances were different, you’d be living your best life. “we can pretend none of this happened, if you prefer. we’ll have a formal meeting another time.”

without further goodbye, you walked away from sakusa’s front door and toward your own. if these few interactions with your neighbor were any indication for how the rest of your time living there would be, you knew that there wouldn’t be many dull moments.

reblogs, comments, nd likes appreciated (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #mine !!#atsumu u fucking moron #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #selfship: kiyori

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ohbaby-here-we-go-again · 4 months

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Discovered a big part of why I like sleep token comes down to ‘echos,’ repetition, and layering.

Hear me out guys !

Ok so I’m probably going to be bad at articulating this, but I feel like a big part of sleep token’s sound comes down to them playing with the concept of echos and the use of repetition in music.

Some of it is pretty bog standard, like as a general rule you’re going to have things that repeat in songs (chord progressions, choruses, melody etc) because that is their nature. But there are other things where I feel the repetition is a deliberate choice or deliberately emphasised (I’m going to dot point, because my brain is so full and idk how else to structure this)

- when you listen to a lot of the piano vessel composes, it typically contains a lot of repeating phrases, usually 2-4 notes that he either repeats exactly or progressively shifts up or down in pitch

- similarly (and probably even more so) the digital sounds, included to help build the layering within songs, are very repetitive in nature. They even sometimes have an echo-y distortion to them

- on that note, the layering is such an important part of sleep token’s sound. They build up phrases steadily, and while theses aren’t technically canons, to me they have a similar feeling when you hear everything together

- also because of the repetition of shorter melody phrases, and the complementary repeating sounds cushioning them, I feel like you really get that atmospheric vibration/hover that you sense when you hear real echos irl which is neat (this is also aided by that atmospheric droning sound they tend to make use of)

- what’s also cool is ii has literally said when writing the drum components, he listens to what else is going on in the song (digital parts, guitar, piano, vocals) and mimics certain rhythms present so everything fits together cohesively

- vessel has like a set of themes and words he uses throughout his songs (post I did on that here tho I do want to do an updated one at some point) so when you’re listening to ST you do get a lot of déjà vu (not in a bad way) from lyrics

- this echoing in lyrics was taken even further in the last album with Euclid

- another neat thing is that while ST obviously uses a lot of repetition they cut things up into segment, either by stripping back the layered sound, changing the pacing, implementing a new melody segment, seemingly switching up genres etc. but it’s all interspersed in such a way that key element resurface again later

- they’re also really good at knowing when to do this too, like just when the repetition of a segment might start to lose listener’s interest they change it to something different but still at least a little adjacent

-edit: also the layering of vessel’s vocals and the incorporation of the espera for live performances. And vessel repeating certain key phrases in songs

idk I’m kinda rambling at this point but yea, the way the music sounds to me feels a lot like rocking back and forth ya know, or like listening to an echo or waves, it’s soothing in alot of ways - even the heavier/more intense songs (also I noticed you can sometimes see vessel rocking while he preforms when he doesnt have the zoomies)

And before anyone goes “ren that’s just song structure,” “ren most songs have a beat you can move too” I know ! and i know I’m articulating this badly. But I’ve been listening to ST’s whole discography on repeat minimum 8 hours a day for at least two week (this is not an exaggeration) and I don’t know how to make you understand, other then to make you listen to them for 8 hours min a day for two week while I gesture wildly and shout “rocking back and forth ! echoes ! Push and pull of waves !”….

#what I’m tryna say becomes more obvious when you listen to just the instrument versions of the songs so check those out of you want #I feel like I lost the plot a little with this post but I need someone to say they see into my brain and understand what I’m saying #Siri how do I airdrop my rambling thoughts to people…#ah yea anyways.. thanks for coming to my Ted talk :]#sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token ii

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hatereadings · 2 months

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Throne of Glass

So I first found out about this series because these ACoTaR recaps I was reading mentioned that Sarah J Maas had a previous fantasy series that came out, and the protagonist was an assassin who didn't even kill anyone in the first book. You can check out the recaps here, if you're interested in other people's hate-reads.

The author of those recaps was so appalled by ACoTaR that she's probably never going to read another SJM book, which means that the burden of recapping them has sadly fallen to... well, people who enjoyed the recaps in general, but I think I'm the only one actually willing to do this to myself.

So, here goes! I'm going to start with Throne of Glass, because it was published first, but actually mainly because it's the most readily available at my library (If I have to return it, I might switch to The Assassin's Blade for a bit).

The dedication page is

To all my readers from FictionPress--for being with me at the beginning and staying long after the end. Thank you for everything.

This honestly made me curious enough to look things up, and, whaddya know, this book was originally a story on FictionPress! In 2012, peak fandom, so... credit where it's due, clearly some of us who were on FictionPress back then felt catered to.

That reminds me - I know these books are intended for teenage girls, and I'm going to do my best to respect that and view them from that lens. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that audience or what they need or want to be reading at that time in their lives.

That said, even WITH that caveat, there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about, so buckle up.

Chapter 1

RIGHT AWAY, I have issues with the worldbuilding.

After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier, Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword-point. Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment--though an extra half-dozen guards always walked Celaena to and from the mines.

How on EARTH is this economical?! If someone is genuinely SO DANGEROUS that they need SIX GUARDS to accompany them everywhere -- how does it make ANY sense to put them to work in a mine?!?!?!

I'm going to ignore the fact that a white author is writing about slavery, because... it was 2012; a lot of us are guilty of Spartacus fanfic. We know better now, is the important part.

That was to be expected by Adarlan's most notorious assassin.

Okay. Some people have pointed out in the past that it doesn't make sense for assassins to be famous. I think that's something that's safe to gloss over in this sort of YA, though. I mean, what teenage girl hasn't wanted to be some kind of universally feared physical badass, whether that's an assassin or a mercenary or a serial killer? It's fine.

Still, if she's really so dangerous and such a Big Deal, then... again, why is she in the mines??? Why isn't she in an impenetrable cell somewhere??? You're literally paying SIX EXTRA full-time workers just to stand around watching her when they could be used to do, idk, anything else? Guarding the royal family, guarding the treasury, going to war against your enemies? This is like... Kingsguard level of security. Not something you'd want to spend on a prisoner.

There's a "hooded man in black" walking next to her. Does this sound like an executioner, or is that just me?

Apparently they take an unnecessarily circuitous route, going around and around in circles because the guy in charge... idk, wants to disorient Celaena? Even though she's been living there for a year? I really hope the people guarding her are supposed to be idiots, so she can seem like a badass genius in comparison; if this is the level of intelligence we're working with throughout the book, I don't know what's going to sustain me through this read.

The guy in the hood apparently introduced himself as Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard, and she overheard that when she first saw him. Which might've been nice to include when we, the readers, first see him, but whatever. Apparently he's hiding his face from her to try and intimidate her, which has "five-year-old-boy-tries-to-scare-you-by-donning-a-frankenstein-mask" energy.

Celaena doesn't know why he's come to get her. She notices that her clothes are nearly rags and that her skin is dirty, and reflects that she used to be beautiful. Again, this feels more like YA convention than an actual, realistic response someone would have to being forced to mine salt for a year. Like, I can get having that response to suddenly seeing a bunch of non-miners and feeling the contrast between their clean clothes and your filthy rags, but having that just pop up idly while you're walking around your prison? It's a very hamfisted way of trying to stick in a bit of physical description at the beginning. And we get a full physical description later on, so why even bother?

"You're a long way from Rifthold, Captain," she said, clearing her throat. "Did you come with the army I heard thumping around earlier?" She peered into the darkness beneath his hood but saw nothing. Still, she felt his eyes upon her face, judging, weighing, testing. She stared right back. The Captain of the Royal Guard would be an interesting opponent. Maybe even worthy of some effort on her part.

Personally I would have added a line break after that quote, but that might just be a stylistic choice. I don't really have any bones to pick with the writing here; it seems like this is serving the wish fulfillment that a lot of the target audience really wants - a protagonist so deadly that no one is any match for them. Maybe for a more jaded audience, they'd think, "Mary Sue," and toss the book aside, but we embrace earnest enthusiasm here.

Oh, it'd be nice to see his blood spill across the marble.

Please don't tease. I know there isn't going to be any murder in this book. I can't take the false hope.

She'd lost her temper once before--once, when her first overseer chose the wrong day to push her too hard. She still remembered the feeling of embedding the pickax into his gut, and the stickiness of his blood on her hands and face. She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat. Would the captain fare better than her late overseer? Contemplating the potential outcomes, she grinned at him again. "Don't you look at me like that," he warned, and his hand drifted back toward his sword.

Wait, what? The killer -- actually kills someone?! Okay, offscreen, but still. This is... not quite the clusterfuck I was warned about!

Still, I'm 2% into this book. It has a lot of room to decay.

They passed a series of wooden doors that she'd seen a few minutes ago. If she wanted to escape, she simply had to turn left at the next hallway and take the stairs down three flights. The only thing all the intended disorientation had accomplished was to familiarize her with the building. Idiots.

Celaena gets annoyed when Chaol won't talk to her, which is... kind of dumb? I mean, did you expect him to? You guys are enemies. Just keep up a one-sided banter like a normal prisoner and stop complaining.

She contemplates escape some more, then decides that it'd be too much trouble, so she'll wait. It's very convenient that all the guards are idiots; they've been walking so long that Celaena has the opportunity to infodump some worldbuilding on us. We learn that the kingdom they're in is called Adarlan, and it sends poor people, criminals, and "latest conquests" into the salt mines of Endovier, which looks something like the jail in Les Mis, with misery and whips cracking and all the stereotypical nonsense. Again, this is from over a decade ago; this shit would not fly today. That's not how you handle a discussion of slavery in this country.

Adarlan has banned magic, and anyone accused of practicing gets sent to Endovier.

Eyllwe is apparently a country that's at war with Adarlan, still resisting its rule, and any captured Eyllwe folks also get sent to Endovier. Okay, so... I know Rome did this too, but this is sounding less like Rome and more like Nazi Germany, with the work camps for prisoners. Maas is apparently of Jewish descent, so I'm not going to weigh in on whether that's a problem.

Celaena mentions that she was "betrayed and captured" one night and sent to this place, and then pivots to thinking about whether she's finally going to be executed. I mean, it would make sense; those 6 guards' paychecks have probably cost the crown a tidy amount over the past year.

At last, they stopped before a set of red-and-gold glass doors so thick that she couldn't see through them.

That is a ridiculously fancy door for a mine. Why.

They try to pull Celaena through, she's convinced they're here to kill her and resists, but they pull her in anyway. Uhhhh... what happened to

She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat.

I remember the inconsistency in ACoTaR. Wasn't expecting it to show up so early here, though.

A glass chandelier shaped like a grapevine occupied most of the ceiling, spitting seeds of diamond fire onto the windows along the far side of the room.

Okay, that's actually a really pretty description. I'd go as far as to say that 'spitting seeds of diamond fire' is genuinely a good turn of phrase. That said...

WHY IS THIS IN A SALT MINE?!?!?!?!

Compared to the bleakness outside those windows, the opulence felt like a slap to the face. A reminder of how much they profited from her labor.

Ah. For symbolism.

In case you were wondering, no, that's not a good enough reason. It makes no sense with the worldbuilding. Why on earth would ANYONE choose to build something so fancy here. Nobody just spends their time thinking, "I'm feeling very evil today. What exceptionally evil project can I spend a great deal of money on to show off just how evil I am? I know! I'll build an opulent room next to a slave pit!"

Also? Nobody is profiting from your labor, Celaena. I don't know how much salt costs, but every day you work costs your overseers a day's wages for each of SIX GUARDS. I don't think there's much profit being turned here.

The captain shoves her in, there's more guards, and then

On an ornate redwood throne sat a handsome young man. Her heart stopped as everyone bowed.

Ah. The love interest.

She was standing in front of the Crown Prince of Adarlan.

And that's the chapter hook!

Two questions:

How did they get the throne in there? I can't tell if it's more ridiculous if they literally had to build a new fancy room with a throne when they heard the prince was coming, or if the prince's entourage carries a giant throne with him wherever he goes so he can sit in it, OR if every single building in Adarlan has to have a Throne Room of sufficient grandeur just in case the Crown Prince decides to stop by. There's just no good explanation for this. (Although from a different perspective, there are only good explanations for this)

We literally just heard an infodump about how Adarlan is a toxic power. Are they really trying to make it believable that one of the leaders of this country is a decent enough dude to be a love interest?

So far, this feels like even more of a mess than ACoTaR was. I'm curious to know if that gets any better over the course of this book, or if it's somehow all downhill from here.

#Throne of glass negative #throne of glass critical #tog negative #tog critical #acotar negative #acotar critical #sjm negative #sjm critical #I think that covers all the bases #hate-reading #hate reads #recaps #commentary #book commentary

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