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#idk if this one makes sense i'm exhausted.
voiceofsword · 4 hours
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hi mimi :] guess who got new "matching" voicelines . i think i might be a bit delusional but it's a saga in my HEART and i will now rough tl/paraphrase them for you as i haven't the time to do it properly atm ( i'm at work but i had to inform you asap )
niki: i'm developing new recipes for a cooking segment on a new show i was put in charge of ! i'm thinking of focusing on spring vegetables ..
rinne: ( yawn ) i went out with niki early in the morning to dig up bamboo shoots, and we stayed there until pretty late in the evening, i've been so tired .. i think i'll sleep a bit now
niki: rinnekun told me spring was a great time for picnics, so i'm going to make a bento ! what would go nicely in it .. 💭
i swore there was another one but i don't feel like checking the shop atm to see if i missed a line . will update you if i did o7
WAUUGHHH THANK YOU... IVE SEEN A FEW COMICS ABT THEM BUT HAVENT GOTTEN THEM MYSELF so thank u so much for keeping me updated. now i will ramble
thinking about rinne being like (grumble grumble) why am i up this early (grumble grumble) damn you niki (in spite of agreeing to drive him the night before).... but still driving him, and joining him in digging up the bamboo shoots, and they end up having such a good time that he forgot he was even that tired at all to begin with. cue rinne and niki sitting in silence for like 5 mins in the car before he starts playing stuff from a playlist he made for the two of them and they immediately start singing/humming along
and in the following bento line i can imagine that happening almost before rinnes, like oh, bc rinnes doing this for me ill make us some food since he said spring is nice for picnics :) itll be fun and yummy food is always good~ (not just thinking about the food, obviously, but specifically remembering that tiny detail and wanting to Share That with the person he loves)
so by the time they have a few bags of bamboo shoots and are exhausted and covered in dirt nikis like ta dah!!! i made us bentos!! and rinnes thankful but also like omg, is this a date, does niki like me? i wouldve gotten dressed nicer 😳😳 nikikyun, you shoulda told meeee (super teasing, everyone knows theyre dating, hes being silly) and niki jokingly smacks him like no way! not like you wouldve done the laundry today anyway!! (but makes no attempt to reject the date idea) and and and.
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idk i just started thinking about this scenario, i always love the "oh i have to do this thing" and the other immediately joining in like "well duh obviously i gotta go with you" both in the more serious sense and with more everyday activities like this, as much as they complain they treasure each others company so much IM DEADDDDDDD
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magentagalaxies · 1 month
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having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not
#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th#idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self#like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me#but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in#but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them#and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad???#which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended???#but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????''#even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half#if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it#(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out)#but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender)#and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting#which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he#and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that#but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender)#was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels#scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself#which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing.#so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender#bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine#and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it#but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college
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lastoneout · 1 year
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sometimes I don't think I could be autistic and/or like all that neurodivergent and then other times my fiancé makes a practical and logical argument as to why we don't need a tiny colander that's too small for most tasks and that to save space in the sink/cabinets I should learn to use the medium sized one and honestly we should probably just get rid of the small one and I am filled with such an immense rush of panic and discomfort and grief that I can't even explain it properly until I am saying shit like "the tiny colander is my friend" and "using the big one just FEELS wrong, you know, like going to albertsons instead of safeway" and "next you're gonna tell me I have to use the big soup spoons instead of the little ones and I'll pass away" and I can tell while he does love me and isn't actually mad he def thinks I'm being super illogical and can't fully understand why
like yes I KNOW I am being illogical I am well aware of that...however!! If things are different I will die and if I have to get rid of object that is my friend I will ALSO die, and the only explanation I have is "I like to have things a very specific way even if it doesn't make sense or is less convenient or wastes time and space and changing it is REALLY hard I can't just go "oh you're right" and then change it just doesn't work like that" which is like.....not a great explanation I don't think but that's literally all I've got so???
and like this is legit the only thing we ever "argue" over(bcs we aren't actually fighting we're just talking) it's just him being like "hey the way you do things is inefficient and doesn't make a lot of sense, wouldn't it be easier/make more sense to do it this way?" and then me scrambling to try to articulate "that's fair, but this is the way I do things, I can't change that" in a way that doesn't make me sound dismissive or insane or something which doesn't really seem to work all that well, or like...isn't really getting what I mean across correctly at the very least
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boxwinebaddie · 3 months
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i will work on answering more of my more labor intensive asks...later. i'm sorry i can only post so many a day; they take a lot out of me, but i love them and y'all more than anything, so thank you for asking.
-uncle nina
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kenzan-kiwami · 6 months
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to be honest i don't think i'll ever stop thinking about what people were saying at stream last night
that for all of the incredibly interesting and well-developed side characters in this series, the vast majority of the fandom never seems to breach the crust of snow on top of the iceberg - namely, kazumaji
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kenobster · 1 year
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how does one respond when one's favorite author(s) comments on one's fic, like, how does one construct a comment purely out of drool, tears, and maniacal giggling? asking for a friend. >.>
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torgawl · 8 months
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gojover? i barely ever know her
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violetclarity · 2 years
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becoming increasingly concerned/convinced that I’m destined (doomed?) to be (romantically) alone, not out of any particular desire to but because dating requires so much energy, and how does one do it safely in the era of covid and now mpv, and the world is on fire so shouldn’t I be focusing my energy on other things? but also the world being on fire makes me even more scared about facing it alone. I just want someone (or someones, I would be happy w a platonic community too) who I know will be there with me when things get hard, to put down roots and make plans with even though the future is so uncertain.
like logically I know that I’m not too old to find love and/or a partnership, I’m not saying this in a “well I’ve reached age X so no one will want me” way, honestly I think I’m a catch and I bring a lot to the table! but given the state of the world, the pandemic, where most of my friends are at in their lives, it does feel like I’ve either missed the boat, or am about to miss the boat when it comes to finding a serious relationship/life partner. but how does that urgency translate into action when I’ve only just got a handle on dating during covid and now there’s another virus to worry about? and trying not to burn out while still nurturing my friendships and many other activities? it’s not like I want to be alone, I want a community but don’t know how to find the people for whom that is also a priority, and then it all goes back to the question of meeting new people and nurturing relationships - how do I go out and make platonic connections that I can trust enough to face these scary times with either? how do I balance a desire for a romantic partnership with valuing my friendships as well? how do I live in a way that demonstrates my value of community, when circumstances have forced me to be so solitary?
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loumauve · 2 years
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rejection sensitive dysphoria has got to be one of my least favourite anythings ever jfc
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staggeringsmite · 2 years
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bitter diabetic thought soup
#it's me again about to make the enzymes in my pancrea everyone else's problem too <3#anyway it sucks to have psych meds that are life-changing for me that specifically effect my appetite#bc then schedule becomes even more important which good news! improves on said meds and bad news! gets worse when sudden adjustments have#to be made!! anyway today was. not great. for me health wise. and on that note i always feel the need to be so defensive about having my#blood sugar in check like it's some moral failure of me not to when!!! sometimes it's not! sometimes it's high!! sometimes that's not good!#when i feel bad from blood sugar stuff that's not healthy!! but health is sometimes not 100% achieveable and i know i am feeling this on#such a smaller scale compared to other illnesses but it makes me want to scream of course i Want to be healthy and i Try My Best but#the fact is the natural state of my body is not one of health. there is a genetic issue here that makes a baseline state of health and#comfort in my body something that i have to put thought into every fucking day and even if that thought it minimal it's an extra step to#get somewhere some people are just born having pre-taken care of for them#idk man maybe it's just me maybe i just don't know any other diabetics who are my age/have the same type as me (because it's so fucking#understudied and underdiagnosed) and i don't even know if i'm going to say this in a way that makes sense but it feels like 'diabetes'#is not a condition that is in any way considered impactful in daily life and my suspicion is that because it's so fucking common if more#consideration were given to how it affects people more accomodation and understanding would be expected for it and we#simply can't have that now can we (i think. if i am not entirely in left field on this. this is true of a lot of common chronic conditions#but i obviously can't speak to any others#i just feel like we downplay literally so many chronic health issues that the negative impacts on daily life get kinda neutralized#because whenever i actually walk through the fact that i have to think so hard about food all the time i realize oh. well. how exhausting#it is and how much more prone to disordered eating i have been since diagnosis because of it#anyway just currently in a state of being really fucking done with talking about my diabetes and having my reflex response anytime i say#anything about it to be 'oh it's not that bad!! i have my sugar under control!' like i am a bad person if it's not under control for#something i was quite literally born with and tends to be unpredictable and my doctor literally knows so little about in actuality because#again. highly understudied. : ))))))))#idk what this was i'm just feeling grrrr about being diabetic for specific reasons right now#personal
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vivid-vices · 11 months
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thoughts & prayers 🙏 but you live on the 50th floor???
thanks!! lol and no i don't 😭 i'm still working, although i'm here so much more than home that i might as well live here.
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A Workshop for Creating Magical/ Fictional Crystals: A Guide from a Geologist
Hi folks, its me, here to talk about fictional writing again! Today I'm just tackling the idea of magical stones/mana stones by looking at existing minerals today and some neat properties that they have, and how you can apply these things to a fictional world. The goal is mainly to help you if you are stuck trying to come up with a unique magic system, or a unique identification/characteristic of your mineral.
First Things First: Mineral Shapes
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I am exhausted, petered out, down-right fatigued by seeing every mineral depicted with having the crystal structure of calcite and quartz. There are soooooo many cooler, more interesting crystal structures, don't you think you would stop and take a look at a perfect cube in nature? It is completely unsettling.
Second: Color
Color within minerals can either be really important, or not important at all! It is your choice to decide if color is going to be something that means something to your mineral. But what are some times when the color is important? Well.... there are some elements that are called chromophores, this classification just indicates that these elements, when present, will determine the color of whatever they are in. So, if you wanted to treat mana like a chromophore, you could say, "Oh everything that contains mana turns green!" This could mean that regardless of the mineral, if that mineral is a specific color, it means it contains mana. This concept is exciting because you can just stop here and use minerals that already exist! You can also use it as an indicator for a magical ore! Chromophores are typically metals, so if you are making a new metal weapon, making the ore of that metal a unique color would make a lot of sense!
However, your mineral can also just be every color of the rainbow like quartz and perhaps that's what makes identifying your mana stones elusive and create an illusion of scarcity that your character can solve.
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There are other things that can change the colors of minerals, like radiation damage, and electron exchange, but I think that is beyond what would be helpful! So lets talk about some unique color properties that happen in nature that seem magical in the first place! Maybe you don't need to design a mana stone, but you want a unique gemstone that only the royal family passes down or something (IDK).
The first one is the alexandrite effect! This is where a mineral can change color in natural light vs. incandescent light. (the mineral itself is not changing, but the lights contain different amounts of different colors that then get absorbed by the stone). Even if you don't use electricity in your fictional world, you could have the colors change in the presence of light magic. This could create fun misunderstandings about what the mineral is reacting to!
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Pleochroism
Pleochroism is something that most minerals have, it is frequently used to help identify minerals in thin sections, however minerals are usually not pleochroic enough for it to be visible to the naked eye! Pleochroism is just a fancy name to describe the change in how light is absorbed based on the angle of the mineral! So if you scroll up to the first image where I showed a lot of crystal shapes, most of them have angles where they are longer and shorter! This will effect the way light travels in the crystal. Tanzanite is a popular mineral that does this.
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Photochromism
This is when a mineral will change color (in a reversible way) when exposed to UV light (or sunlight), I am not going to go too into the details of why this is happening because it would require me to read some research papers and I just don't feel like it. The mineral that is best known for this is Hackmanite!
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Alright! These are all the really cool color effects that might inspire you or maybe not, but now I am going to talk about how you might find your minerals within a rock!
When I see a lot of magical caves/mines, typically I see them with some variation of a geode honestly, but most minerals are not found like that! Now I am sure most of you guys have seen a geode, so I will not really talk about those, but I will talk briefly about porphyroblasts which is when the mineral grows larger than the minerals around it, this happens in metamorphic minerals!
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sorry random stranger, but this is an image of garnets inside a finer-grained rock at gore mountain in New York!
Another way you might find minerals is in a pegmatite! This is when all minerals are really large! This is a formed from really slow crystalizing magma!
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But something else to think about is that your mineral might just be massive, it doesn't have to have distinct crystals, it may be similar to jadeite where small grains grow together which leaves it looking smooth and seamless! A note about all of these is that you would have to mine into the rock to find these, there would not be any natural caves in these rocks! Caves are only ever really formed in limestones and maybe marbles (rocks that react with acid).
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How can your characters identify these minerals?
Typically when you are out in the field you will look to see what type of rocks the minerals are found in (The overall texture of the rock will tell you how it formed). If you know how the rock formed, it will narrow down the amount of minerals you need to think about by quite a bit! Next, you are going to look closely at it and observe its crystal structure, does it have an obvious crystal? if so what is the general shape? If it is broken, how did it break? Did it fracture like glass or did it break along uniform planes. Some minerals have a thing called cleavage (breaks along planes of weakness). If a mineral exhibits this habit, it will again help narrow this down. Next we can look at color. Color can be misleading, because minerals like quartz can be any color imaginable, but minerals like olivine will always be green! The next thing your character can do is test for hardness, minerals all have a specific hardness that can help identify it as well.
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After you go through all of this, your mineral might have some special property! This could be magnetism, fluorescence, reactions to acid, or any of the color changing effects I mentioned above! Other than that, your character can take it back to a lab and do a number of things to identify it, but the most typical thing would be for them to make a thin section (very thin piece of the rock) and observe it under a cross polarized microscope!
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On that note folks! I hope this helped in some way in thinking of new magic mineral properties! I have other guides that explore some different fictional worldbuilding issues you might run into, but if you have any topics you would like me to cover please that I haven't mentioned already, let me know!
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dizzybevvie · 1 year
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I think one of the biggest issues I have is just assuming that Im a back up friend to everyone
#dgmw! its never been a big deal I dont care much and I understand#and this is gonna sound edgy but i find it difficult to feel emotion that isnt really intense? if that makes sense#so i dont think i realise how lonely i am a lot of the time ://#idk. its weird.#I see people at school I would consider myself quite close to because in reality i have like one close friend#and seeing them be so close to their friends hurts a lil yknow?#not mad at them obviously just. around them#Especially when theyre dudes. theyll never understand how jealous i am of them#or that one friend i really enjoy spending time with who admitted to ditching me for their other friends after lying and saying she forgot#again i wasnt mad at her because I understand but. i cant help but feel like Im doing something wrong#im glad she was upfront and honest with me because thats all i ask but i just. UGH#And all the popular kids at my school are actually friendly and nice and funny#But all I can talk about is how to train your dragon and stare for way too long trying to figure out what to say#Its frustrating because I know its not their fault and like. thats the worst part.#All the people at my school who talk to me Im genuinely flattered that they enjoy my company at least a little bit#When I hit the age of 8 and realised I wasnt good st making friends and stopped trying I just. god.#I understand what I'm doing wrong but I dont know how to change without being thoroughly exhausted#and id rather have energy than be liked but#I dont know. I just wish people liked me.#Again I GET that people my age are just assholes and thats part of it. thats why ive never cared abt no one ever crushing on me because#i have a belly and arm hair and a flat face and cellulite and no jawline and thinner eyes and leg hair and a resting bitch face#and I find some of those traits endearing but i know teenage boys wont#its upsetting. i dont know.#all it takes is not being accepted by one (1) guy to be back to being four years old wondering if my dad wouldve stayed if i were a boy#.#Idk. Ill unpack this later (lie)#oversharing on main#rant#vent#apollo says stuff
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classicalchan · 6 months
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liar
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pairing: bangchan x f! reader
rating: sfw
tags: sharing a bed, just pure softness, cuddling, best friends to lovers, pining, confessions, tired chan
wc: i'm too lazy to count but idk it's probably 2k 😭(I'm definitely wrong)
your doorbell rings when it's close to midnight, its sound reverberating through every corner of your little apartment. your socked feet carry you from bed to the door on autopilot. you weren't sleeping, but you were nearly there.
you open up your front door and off-white light from the hallway spills shamelessly into your dark living space. Chan stands there, bag slung lazily across his shoulder, eyes droopy with sleep.
"they borrowed my place for a party i don't wanna be at," he declares. "I'm sleeping here."
he walks in without waiting for an answer, wrapping you in a quick, one-armed hug for a greeting on his way. his bag finds its place on your couch. he switches a couple of lamps on here and there and fixes a photo frame on his way to your bathroom with a towel and some clothes in hand.
you kind of like how it's so natural for him to be at your place. like he belongs here. like he could live here.
you wished he would.
you lay back in bed, shifting to a side, leaving the rest of the space for Chan. ever since you first cuddled up with him a few months ago, it became an unspoken rule between you to always sleep cuddled up when alone.
it was one of the best parts of your friendship with him. you could abandon every care in the world when he was around and just be. He was always there- gentle, warm, protective, kind. everything you wished for in a man.
everything you can't have.
it had been weeks since you had gone to bed without thinking of him. even in the face of extreme exhaustion and no contact, Chan never failed to slip into your thoughts. he needed to compensate you for all the nights you couldn't sleep just because he did something adorable during the day and you wouldn't stop thinking about it.
he needed to apologize for every time you accidentally called one of your friends by his name, just because he wouldn't leave your head.
and he needed to desperately make up for nights like these. nights when he would touch you and let you touch him, but never enough. there was always a weighted, invisible boundary you hated with all your guts. a burning line you couldn't cross.
so, over the days, you had learned to make peace with what you got, no matter how little. you had learned to make the most of his arms around you, the firmness of his torso pressed to your back, the warmth of his breathing behind your ear, his occasional sleepy rambling.
sometimes he said your name.
before you knew it, the mattress dips beside you, the familiar scent of Chan's shampoo filling up your senses. you came alive a little.
his arm slips across your middle, pulling you as close as humanly possible into the abyss that was his warmth. you could spend an eternity here without a syllable of protest falling from your lips.
“i don’t have a shirt on, is that okay?” he mumbles into your hair.
more than okay, you wanted to say but for the sake of the friendship you had spent years building, you resorted to a small hum. he usually slept barely clothed, but when with you, he always asked. he made sure never to cross any lines. he was cautious, reserved. too far.
“is everything okay?” you ask. “you usually do not turn down a chance to party.”
you feel him move behind you, long fingers fiddling with the thin fabric of your t-shirt. he yawns like a puppy.
“i’d had a busy day,” he begins. “i needed some sleep and you know how bad i am at getting to sleep alone...”
his knuckle accidentally brushes your navel. you shiver.
“…besides you weren’t there. i’ve missed having you around y/n, now that i see it.”
your skin flushes hot, lips involuntarily swelling into a smile. you turn your face into your pillow, determined to bury your happiness into the fluff.
“i’ve missed you too,” you confess.
his blunt nails graze against your flesh again, and you wonder how much of it was accidental anymore. could Chan tell? did he know how down bad you were for him?
“liar,” he whispers, squeezing your body lightly into his own.
he liked to do that, you had noticed. almost as if finding a way to inch closer, as if making up for the fact that there would always be some molecular distance between you no matter what.
or maybe you were just reading too much into it.
you place a hand over his own, fingertips drawing subtle lines into his pale skin, tracing the veins you stared at shamelessly in broad daylight.
“you really think i’d lie to you?”
“you wouldn’t?” he asks.
you turned around, facing him. your hand settles on his bare chest. you could feel his heart beat beneath your touch.
“no,” you confirm. “never.”
he smiles, his hair getting into his eyes as he puts his forehead against yours.
“okayyy,” he giggles. “tell me something then, since you claim to not lie.”
your heart picks up pace, hammering beneath your chest, and you were half afraid Chan might hear it. you swallow thickly, a small lump forming in your throat.
“yeah?”
his gaze wraps over you like a veil, clouding everything else just enough that he is all you can see.
"do you like me?" he whispers.
the question drops in your heart and sinks into your gut. you've been caught, red-handed. but you were so careful, so vigilant, looking but never for too long, complimenting him but being careful not to flirt, telling him you love him when he needed to hear it but taking care to conceal the love you felt.
you want to play it cool. you're scared of how it's going to go.
"duh," you say. "of course i like you, why else would we be friends?"
he clicks his tongue, a soft laugh escaping his lips. he drops a light kiss on your forehead and you sigh.
"you're not that naive," he states. "come on, I'll wait for you."
you feel your cheeks heat up. it gets harder by the second to stay still, not with chan's fingers rubbing warmth into your back, his face so close you could steal a kiss. he was no fool. he never had been. who did you think you were hiding from?
"i..." you begin, your mouth drying up. "yeah."
you feel his marble fingers slip under your chin. pressure, soft but commanding, forced you to look at him.
"you what, sweetheart?"
the endearment sent you spiraling. you squeeze his muscled shoulder, fingers digging into flesh.
"don't be an ass," you say. "i'm not gonna say it."
he chuckles. you watch his gaze move across your face, settle on your lips, and then back to your eyes again. you didn't want to think ahead of yourself.
you didn't want to break your heart.
he leaned in, his arm circling around your waist, his mouth leaving a soft kiss to your temple. you could die like this and it wouldn't be so bad.
"please," he whispers. "you said you'd be honest."
and who were you to turn down chan with his gentle voice and sturdy hands and body warmth and huge heart and ---? you could go on forever.
you grind your teeth together unconsciously, draw in a deep breath, and sigh. he knows you're giving in.
"i do like you," you admit finally. "so much more than a friend."
his palm slides up your back and finds your hair, long fingers gripping them and pulling you in. he smiles when he kisses you- mouth tasting of cinnamon and longing and want.
"fucking finally," he breathes. "you've got no idea how long i've waited for this."
you melt into a caramel puddle in his hands. you lean in again, pressing your lips onto his like he'd disappear, like this is all you've got.
taglist: @tinysoftie
NAVIGATION
join the taglist <3
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teenytinyjimin · 19 days
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i miss you, i’m sorry (j. jungkook)
nothing happened in the way i wanted
every corner of this house is haunted
and i know you said that we’re not talking
but i miss you, i’m sorry.
summary: the first time seeing each other after the breakup is always the hardest. but seeing each other when you're still in love? an absolute nightmare
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2k
tags: angst, smoker!jk, brokenhearted!jk, equally as brokenhearted!reader, why did they even break up in the first place?, featuring reader’s bestfriend!jimin, also jimin is sexually ambiguous let's keep it that way please
warnings: none, alcohol/nic use but nothing too intense, kinda sad but it's a happy ending i promise
author’s note: idk why i keep making my fic names and stuff inspired by songs, i guess it just helps me beat writers block.
also i wrote this in second person, lmk if you guys prefer that over third. i personally find third person fics easier to write, but i'm sure second person is easier to read for some of you. enjoy my angels!
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
Bars weren't really your thing.
If you were going to be honest, they were miles better than nightclubs, but still not your thing. It was something about the air that just rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was all the creepy old men that turned you off of them, or just the fact that there's not much to do besides sit, drink, sit some more, maybe play some pool and... sit.
Jimin, on the other hand, loved bars. He loved being able to sit there, look pretty, and watch as absolutely anyone and everyone flocked over to him to start a conversation. It admittedly fueled his ego, and he loved the feeling of being the center of attention. However, he didn't love being at bars alone. Being so drop-dead gorgeous meant that about twenty times the amount of creeps bothered him than the average bar patron. Many of them figured that a pretty boy like him was sitting there waiting to be swooped up by a sugar daddy. Let's get one thing straight – that wasn't him. He had plenty of money. He just wanted to have a little conversation, give a little kiss here and there maybe, and dip at the end of the night with his bar companion by his side.
Unfortunately for you, that bar companion was usually you. It was certainly a compliment for Jimin to want to bring you along with him instead of any of his other gazillions of friends and other social connections, but it was quite exhausting for you to be in a bar pretty much every day of every weekend. He liked the attention, but you didn't. If it were an empty room with nothing but you and a bottle of rum, you'd have a blast. But what bar in Itaewon was going to be like that?
Alas, here you were, sat at the end of a bar with your friend sitting next to you. Something about the light in the building made him look extra beautiful tonight, his skin shimmering like the most precious of diamonds and his eyes deep and full of allure. At the moment he was making small talk with a lady on the other side of him, one who was definitely at least twenty years his senior but didn't look a day past thirty. Sighing, you drop your head down to look at your drink, a half-full martini glass that held a rather disappointing cosmopolitan (you weren't a vodka fan anyway, it wasn't the bartender's fault).
You wanted to be home. That was the only place you ever wanted to be these days. At home, cuddling your darling kitty in bed, and sleeping your days away. Maybe a year ago you would have loved being out and about, but now it feels more like a burden than a fun activity. And you know that Jimin doesn't mean any harm in doing what he does, but seeing him talk with so many people over the course of the night and being so happy is almost a bit gut-wrenching for you because you can't be as happy as him.
You began to feel the blood rush to your ears and your face get warm. Something was wrong, you could sense it. Everyone has those gut instincts when something isn't quite right, and this wasn't just an instinct, it was like a neon sign. A neon sign that read DANGER. Perhaps it was just you feeling rather anxious and overwhelmed, but either way you were craving the comfort of your home.
"Hey, 'Minnie, can we-" Just as you turned to Jimin to softly ask him if you could go home or at the very least switch bars, you felt a presence behind you. It wasn't just an I'm here to order a drink presence, but rather an I'm here for you one. Realizing that Jimin wasn't even listening anyway, you froze, waiting to see what would happen. And that's when you heard a familiar voice that you thought you'd never hear again.
"Hey."
You didn't want to turn around. You tried to stay as still as a statuette for as long as possible, however the more you thought about the man behind you the more you felt the urge to turn around and take a bite of the forbidden fruit. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned until you were face-to-face with your ex, Jungkook.
"Want to talk outside?" Not yet looking at him directly, you hesitantly nodded before quickly looking back to Jimin and then standing up. You left your purse there, figuring that your friend would grab it if he changed locations, and began trailing after the tall tattooed figure that navigated his way toward the door.
As the two of you stepped out into the cool autumn air, you crossed your arms and leaned against the building. Your heart was between your ears at this point, buzzing at what felt like 200 beats a minute. It was stupid for you to have even left Jimin's side, you thought, because now you were alone with your ex of all people and God knows what this boy has up his sleeve.
"You look good," Jungkook said gently as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. "And I know what you're going to say, you're so full of it Kook, but I mean it."
"Since when have you started smoking?" You asked, ignoring his previous two statements and gesturing toward the pack in his hand. He shrugged. "Couple weeks after I last saw you maybe? Not a big deal."
"You know that stuff's bad for you."
"I don't think sitting here third-wheeling with Jimin and his beau of the night is any better."
"You don't know Jimin, don't act like you do," You said, completely taken aback and offended by the words coming out of his mouth. "And I'm having a good time, thank you very much."
"Doesn't seem like it. Weren't you about to ask him if you guys could leave?"
"I was having- What?- Is there a reason you asked to talk to me out here?" You were struggling to form a complete sentence. This man always knew how to leave you speechless, but now it was just irritating. You watched as Jungkook leaned back onto the building with you and shook his head, giving you a toothy grin before lighting the cigarette in his mouth. "Nah. Just figured you'd have more fun out here talking to me and getting a break from it all."
"You know he's waiting for me, right? I should go back inside." You stand back up straight and begin walking back into the bar, however you feel a warm hand wrap gently around your wrist and tug you back. "Hey hey hey," Jungkook called. "He'll survive a few minutes without you. Just chill with me. I'm not asking you for anything, just a second of your time."
You turned to face your ex-lover, your eyes finally meeting his for the first time that night. Even after all this time of being apart, those beautiful doe eyes still yearned for you, and yours for him. With a shaky sigh, you brush his hand away and return to where you were standing. "Exes don't hang out like this, Jungkook."
"Woah, you're pulling out the full government name on me now?" The boy teased, puffing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "Should I be offended?"
"I'm setting boundaries," You crossed your arms and kicked at the ground beneath you. "Nicknames are for friends or more than friends, which we aren't."
"We aren't strangers either though."
"That doesn't matter. Not friends."
"Alright, fine," Giving up, Jungkook looked down at his hand and flexed it awkwardly. "Just trying to be friendly."
"Friendly?!" You said frantically, finally having enough of his antics. "You don't need to be friendly. We broke up and that's the end of it. Exes aren't friends. They go their separate ways and when they see each other again – if they see each other – they ignore each other. I don't get why you're doing this psychological warfare bullshit on me."
"Exes can be friends," He breathed out in protest. "Can you even tell me why we broke up in the first place?"
You remained silent. The truth was that you didn't know why you broke up either. It had been almost a year since the whole ordeal went down, and you were still confused more than anything else, even more than you were hurt. All you can remember is that you guys went through some bullshit ‘mutual breakup’ that apparently neither of you wanted in the first place. The only reason you even agreed to it is because somewhere within you, you felt like perhaps you weren’t deserving of such a wonderful relationship. And the only reason Jungkook agreed to it is because he thought that it’s what you wanted.
"No, seriously. What went wrong? What did I do? I just want some closure..." His voice became increasingly softer as he kept speaking, which only meant one thing. You stared at the ground intensely, refusing to look up and see his teary eyes.
You felt his hand gently wrap around yours and tug on it as a plea for your attention. Jungkook was your weakness, the only person you'd willingly do anything for, and he really loved to take advantage of that without even realizing he was.
You peered up at him hesitantly, worried that you'd find yourself in tears the second you saw the ones pouring from his eyes. Sure enough, when the eye contact began, you were driving yourself forward into his strong arms and dampening his shirt with your tears.
Jungkook's embrace felt the same as it did the last time you felt it. It was still so warm, so inviting, so loving. Never once did you feel unsafe in his arms and this moment was not an exception. As you sobbed into his shirt you felt his hand move from around your waist to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently.
The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, simply letting all emotion out while enjoying the company of one another. While Jungkook has been exceptionally transparent in expressing the fact that he's heartbroken about the situation between the two of you, it's safe to say that you feel equally as devastated. This man was once the love of your life and the only one you ever needed, but now everything about him except for his embrace feels foreign. This was someone you once saw yourself building a life with, but now it's shattering to think that he has a life after you.
You pulled away after a while, refusing to make eye contact as you wiped the tears from your eyes. This all felt entirely pointless. It was obvious that nothing went wrong in the relationship yet here you were, no longer in one. You couldn't begin to imagine what Jungkook had been going through since you guys broke up considering the fact that for you, your entire world turned upside down.
"I'm sorry," You managed to choke out before you felt Jungkook's hand gently guide your face up to look at his. You watched him stare at you for a moment, taking in your features, before his lips began to curl into a soft smile. "Mmm. Yeah. You're way too pretty to let slip through my fingers."
Feeling your face turn hot as a blush crept to your cheeks, you let out a soft giggle before you were cut off by a familiar pair of lips meeting yours.
"JUNGKOOK?" You heard a voice call out. The two of you pulled apart, eyes wide. Shit. You forgot about Jimin.
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cheeseceli · 9 months
Text
Sides of SKZ they only show around their s/o
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Pairing: ot8!skz × gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff and maybe a little bit of angst
A/n: idk if that makes sense and I'm sorry if it happens to be repetitive but ! I liked to write it so yeah. As always, not proofread
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Bang Chan - He's Reckless
Being the eldest sibling, eldest member and the leader of stray kids, Chan became pretty much a parental figure for many. He's always looking out for everybody, making sure everything is okay and dealing with any problem. Don't get him wrong, he loves his job and the people in his life, but sometimes it's exhausting to take care of everything. When he met you though, everything changed. He feels that he can let go. He can be reckless and ask for attention some times. Because, for once, there's someone taking care of him.
Lee Know - He's scared
Usually, he is a confident and even cocky guy. With you though, he is scared. Scared that he might lose you. Scared that his job or personality might scare you. Scared that someone out there is better than him and you'd soon find out. He can't bear to lose you, he doesn't want to imagine a life without you in it. So he'll fight each one of his fears if that means you'll be with him till the very end.
Changbin - He doesn't care
I feel like he always wants to give people the right impression. He wants to say the right thing, behave the right way and hope people will be always satisfied. But suddenly he doesn't care that much anymore. Because he already managed to impress you and you're more than satisfied. Above all of that, you love him. People's opinions are not that important after all.
Hyunjin - He's aware
Always an artist, he knew how to appreciate the beauty in the world since a young age. But since he fell for you every moment seems like an epiphany. The autumn leaves are beautiful, falling with grace. The old lady talking to a kid brings tears to his eyes for an unknown reason. He realises how the breeze is refreshing and how he loves you dearly. He thinks for a second that maybe you're the one who brought life to this world, and he is so happy that he can see all this beauty when he's with you.
Han - He doesn't think
Most of the time, he's too self conscious about his actions and his words, like he needs to be super cautious with everything. Self doubt and overthinking is part of his routine at this point, except when you're with him. You're his safe place. Whenever you're with him, he just does or says whatever he thinks and is never scared you'll judge him, because he knows you never would.
Felix - He's protective
He has a kind nature. He usually doesn't look up for confrontation and is always gentle. But then you came to his life as the most precious treasure he ever saw and now he wants to protect it. Because you're the light of his life and he'll fight anything and anyone if that means you'll be safe. He would happily be your knight in a shining armour if you asked him.
Seungmin - He's vulnerable
Most people only see his "mean" personality or how he doesn't show a lot of affection towards others. We all know he actually is really caring but when it comes to you he's also vulnerable. He doesn't care if one can perceive him as "weak", and he's not scared of oversharing by accident. When he's with you, he's made of glass, but he doesn't mind as he knows you'd never break him.
I.N - He's perfeccionist
You're the best thing to ever happen to him and he is aware of that. He wants to give his all to you and he wants you to be treated like royalty. So he is always trying his best to make sure you're treated like one. He always wants everything to be perfect, because he believes that perfect is still so little compared to what you truly deserve.
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Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!
Dividers by @cafekitsune
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