#idk maybe I’m unreasonably defensive

[vampire-nyx]

I always feel like strangely embarrassed when I earnestly like and use and identify with a term other people really seriously hate, like oh no. Am I doing self identification wrong

[bisexualmaedhros]

mercymorn is important to me.

idk i’m a good way through harrow the ninth now and like. i find myself relating to her a lot. augustine’s comment about her not being able to make herself lovable. her constant uptight nervous disposition. snappish defensiveness. god, the germophobia! (why is it always asshole characters who are hypochondriacs?) it seems that everyone is annoyed by her at best (understandably so; she is an asshole). but i can’t help but remember periods in my life where i was a lot like that. like, she definitely reads as neurodivergent to me. obviously. and it makes me think about all the times when holding fast to my own astringent boundaries led to me looking like some kind of contemptuous stick-in-the-mud.

maybe it’ll change as i learn more about what’s going on, but her character to me looks like one driven by a deep, panicked, frantic anxiety that’s completely at odds with the reality of the people around her. and she goes about her anxieties so stubbornly that they’ve come to resent her for it. it’s not neurodivergence in a way that’s easy to make quirky or endearing. it’s neurodivergence in a way that’s shrill, unreasonable, No Fun Allowed. and as someone who has been that… i know how horribly isolating it can be. so even though she’s without question a piece of shit… i can’t help but feel for her. when your whole world is made hostile by your own fear, and you’re only met with anger by the people around you, it takes such a toll.

[leviiattacks]

Hi, you're a very talented writer and your works are very beautiful. Can I request one where Levi's fem s/o does the ignore your boyfriend prank? Thank you so much and take care of yourself ❤️

author note :: thank youuu i’m glad you think that anon !! this isn’t good at all bc i’m just very sick and yeah,,, i’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your expectations but i needed something to do and ended up finishing this. hmmm what is this is it fluff?? idk it’s captain levi and survey corps member reader though :-) requests are open so feel free to drop by if you’d like :D word count :: 3.4k 

you should NOT be bothering levi as much as you are because he understands you need your own space to relax sometimes

but come on... you’ve been ignoring him for an unreasonable amount of time now??

and he’s not talking about groggy ignoring, it’s not the type you do when you’ve just awoken from a restless night’s sleep

no. you’re talking to everyone apart from him.

and it’s driving him up a literal wall

did he do something wrong???

has he made a mistake so large that you’re too scared to bring it up???

are you finally sick of him??

will you break up with him?

levi winces when thinking of that specific question

but he’s the type to silently keep his worries to himself as soon as he sees any indication of a bad omen

currently, he’s mentally preparing himself for you to break the news to him any day now

but little does he know you’ve just pulled a prank hoping for him to whine and complain a little

the point of this all is to elicit an out of character reaction

;-)

the idea came from historia at first

her playing such a foul trick on ymir didn’t go unnoticed and little by little ymir’s resolve crumbled away throughout the day

she went quite literally ballistic trying to get historia’s attention

and watching it all play out made you want to try it out with levi

you’d be a FOOL not to

WELL!!!! the fun part about this is that you’re a bit actually, no. a lot, more stubborn than historia!!!

and instead of committing to the prank for a day you’ve chosen to see how far you can stretch this out

if you have to drag it out for two days so be it

you have good reason to

levi isn’t the most affectionate man, your relationship is kept a total secret from all of the cadets

meaning pda never happens

and,,, listen you would love to kiss him before expeditions without having to drag him behind your horse for cover

to be frank the back of a horse does smell rather unpleasant and it’s not as romantic as you’d like for it to be

honestly you’d rather have everyone stare and gawk in awe watching the two of you make out

seeing them put two and two together realizing what it is that’s going on between you and the captain would be hilarious

especially since reiner said last week he could never picture levi dating anyone

AND!! he even had the audacity to say he thinks someone like him would never date someone on the team

is it really not that obvious to them?

do you and levi lack chemistry?

silently fuming you walk away and even then none of the cadets get the hint

but you do think mikasa has known for a while. her senses are sharp and whenever she sees you and levi together she makes a u-turn heading in the opposite direction away from the both of you

but even if she does she isn’t going to tell anyone about it unless she’s directly asked so it’s not like the cat will be out of the bag any time soon

it’s silly getting worked up over reiner’s comments but it’s kinda disheartening having the relationship be kept a secret

and you thought even if it was there would be at least a hint of a rumour, like it should be decently obvious it’s been months since the two of you began to see each other

ESSENTIALLY, this is your plan to “accidentally” let the cadets figure it out

eventually levi will have to get restless enough to do something bold

that’s what you think will happen

but then the reality of the situation hits you at the end of the first day

he seems to be dealing with it just fine ?????

after giving him the cold shoulder he shows no signs of returning at all

...

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING???

mayday mayday mayday....?!??

red alert....?!??

you are about to bang your head against a wall he’s the one who’s meant to be suffering over this not you

but again, you’re stubborn and won’t give in easily

by the end of day one levi has approached you two times

two...

each time you’ve given him completely blunt responses

it’s frustrating you that he’s just dealing with it as it comes

and when he does speak to you it’s not to ask what’s wrong

the first time he approaches you is to ask if you’ve seen petra around which makes your blood boil a little because everyone knows petra has a big, fat, MASSIVE crush on him

you know he won’t ever reciprocate or anything for a number of reasons but you can’t help but feel annoyed

the second time he speaks to you is to ask if you’re willing to help hange out with some paperwork

??????

he doesn’t even look interested in asking you what’s wrong

honestly you would drop this plan but you’re in too deep now

may as well keep it up.

the second day rolls around and it’s not your best day

you burn breakfast

trip over a broom and hit your leg rather hard against the dining table

spill an ENTIRE cup of tea over hange’s important documents

and you haven’t slept a wink after overthinking your relationship status for hours on end

maybe this prank wasn’t a great idea

you’re hunched over the documents close to tears not knowing how you can save them now

there’s nothing you can do and even though you know hange will be okay with it, (they’ve never cared much for paperwork) you just don’t want to inconvenience them with this mess

“y/n?”

looking up you see eren standing by the doorway of the kitchen watching with a humored expression as you place paper towels over the disaster you’ve created

“captain’s looking for you.”

perking up a little internally you make sure to remain as disinterested as possible on the surface

“what does he need?”

“i don’t know he didn’t say.”

“tell him i’m busy.”

and that’s all that occurs during day two

you pass by levi and occasionally his gaze flicks to you but he doesn’t take any action to address you in public or in private

you end up going to bed even more disappointed than you were the first night

the prank definitely isn’t going the way you want and instead of it leading to levi cornering you in front of everyone and dipping you into a dreamy swoon worthy kiss it’s led to you developing doubts.

many doubts.

but you aren’t giving up any time soon, now more than ever you want to be reassured levi even wants this relationship because he’s not acting like it

it’s admittedly a bitch move on your part for pulling this prank in the first place but you expected him to ask how you were doing it has been forty-eight hours after all

if the roles were reversed you’d force him into a room until he would tell you

so you can’t explain his weird behaviour at all

maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think

that thought makes your eyes sting at the corners

he’s always been reserved and a little lost when it comes to opening up but you’re beginning to lose hope if he finds it this hard to ask if you’re okay

drifting off to sleep before you can wallow in your thoughts any more you wish tomorrow is better

it’s the third day and to say you’re exhausted is an understatement

midday and you’re training in the sweltering heat

the lack of sleep you’ve had recently paired with your stress isn’t doing you any good

a little dizzy you attempt to hold onto a nearby tree for stability but end up somehow missing the mark by a MILE??

tumbling to the floor painfully you hiss at the collision and rub the back of your head which is now sore

footsteps approach you in a hurry and for the first time in days you’re face to face with levi

“you okay?” concern is very much evident in his voice and that eases your nerves

without you even responding he’s turning you around just to check in case

nodding wordlessly you try to get to your feet when you feel a shift.

your ankle without warning gives out on you and you’re sent crashing back down to the ground

closing your eyes and bracing for impact you’re pleasantly surprised when levi catches you by the waist

your weight is leaning onto him and you’re looking down to the floor

hange is yelling from across the courtyard telling levi to drop you off at the infirmary but he doesn’t need to be told that

his instincts do the talking for him and he’s already slung you over his shoulder and begins carrying you towards the base

“levi. put. me. down. this position’s embarrassing.”

he doesn’t respond and you can hear sasha and connie cackling at the compromising situation

swatting his back you’re huffing and puffing yet he’s still ignoring you

you’re being given the silent treatment but you suppose you do deserve it

sighing you deal with the stares you receive on the way there

this is levi and at this point nothing is seen as abnormal when he does it

you can’t really look behind you to see levi’s expression either but when a cadet walks past and mouths “y/n, what the hell did you do??” you know you’re in for it

eventually he reaches the infirmary and without even letting you get a word in he plops you onto the bed albeit a little rough

“what’s with the cold shoulder?” he places both his arms by your sides leaving you trapped

“i-”

“if you want to break up you can just say that instead of beating around the bush.”

you’re stunned by the harsh tone of his voice, he doesn’t have his usual soft timbre and your eyes glaze over in defense

“you want to break up?” your question hangs in the air

chewing at your lip anxiously you know if you bite any harder you’ll draw blood

“i don’t care. if that’s what you want, sure.”

oh.

oh no.

this isn’t going how you planned

nails digging into the flesh of your palms you hang your head low

he doesn’t care at all

if that’s what you want????? really???? that’s his response??? he won’t even fight for you???

it’s silent as he bandages your ankle and you’re burning in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

“i was just pull-” choking up in the middle of your sentence you feel yourself automatically frown

“i was just pulling a prank on you. you know how historia did with ym-“

really you’ve always been terrible at holding back your tears and a few spill over the edge and you sob

why are you like this why why why why why?????

yeah,, you get why everyone calls you overly emotional from time to time but really you swear you feel your heart shatter a little at how levi’s acting

shielding your eyes with your sleeve you cower away from him

lord have mercy.

levi wants to curl up into a ball and die from the wave of embarrassment that hits him

a prank.

a trick.

and he didn’t catch on.

and now you’re crying.

because he thought acting tough and cold in case you wanted to break up with him made perfectly logical sense???

spoiler : it didn’t make any sense...

but now it’s made him look like he hates you??

but he doesn’t hate you

no, no, no. not at all.

he could never hate you.

you’re always willing to help anyone out, you’re genuine, always say sorry even when you don’t need to, unapologetically yourself at any moment, you’re fearful yet push it all aside to be courageous and most of all he loves your little hobbies because who in their right mind actually enjoys gardening??

he’s convinced people who say they like gardening are looking for something unique to make themselves stand out but really you enjoy it and it’s quite cute

ok, ok no more getting side tracked whilst talking about your love for plants

he could name so much more he admires about you but he’d be here all day

“i tried to talk to you yesterday but after you refused i thought you hated me and wanted to break up. that’s why i was acting like that just now.” he slowly tries to explain his point to you

“i know i’m hard to love so when you began to ignore me out of the blue i figured you didn’t want to-”

cutting him off without giving him the option of finishing his sentence you’re wide eyed in horror. he was NOT meant to interpret the prank this way.

“levi?? for as long as i’m alive i’ll never get tired of you. i promise.” his heart rate shoots and the intense magnetism between the two of you becomes stronger by the second

you pause for a second gathering yourself.

“and i’m sorry i should’ve thought about how you’d feel. the reason i did it was stupid.”

levi kneels by the bed and takes your hand in his, he graciously lifts the sleeve of your uniform and ducks down to press a soft kiss onto your wrist.

your heart flutters seeing him be so careful and gentle with you and bashfully you look away

guilt overwhelms you at that moment because you really are horrible for putting him through all of that.

levi cares for you he does

he may be silent about it and not the best at being public with it but you know how he feels.

you feel it in the way he looks at you

you feel it when he helps you mount your horse

you feel it when he double checks your harnesses before expeditions

you feel it when he tends to your injuries

and, you definitely feel it right now when it sinks in that he was acting like he hated you just so you wouldn’t feel bad if you really did want to break up with him.

he’s always been bad at picking up on hints and cues so you now understand why he interpreted it as you wanting nothing to do with him

of course he wouldn’t ask how you were if it looked like you wanted to skin him alive

“what was the reason for the prank?” he inquisitively asks genuinely wanting to know what it is he can do for you

“i...” you’re wandering off and suddenly don’t want to tell him

“i wanted you to kiss me.” you whisper in a rush

he cocks an eyebrow up even more lost. “i kiss you all the time?”

“i mean, in front of everyone else.”

he blinks and his mouth forms into an “O” shape

it’s a little awkward now

he doesn’t bring it up again so you assume he doesn’t like the idea of letting everyone know just yet

and that’s okay!! you respect that!!

after all, you can’t get mad at him for it, it’s the best choice.

you don’t want people to accuse him of having bias towards you and it’ll probably upset petra and hinder her performance if her crush just suddenly starts dating out of nowhere

your gaze is back on levi and he’s now double checking the bandage on your ankle after tending to it

“you can’t walk for a few weeks.” he tsks

“be careful next time.” he’s always been blunt when he does show he cares and you warmly smile after not talking to him in days.

you feel the need to apologize again

“to make it clear i really am sorry, i should have thought more about you.”

he scoffs and rolls his eyes

“i’m overjoyed that my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with me. now, stop moping around about it i’m over it.”

he scoops you up effortlessly and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“y/n, for the record, i’ll work on not jumping to the worst case scenario first.”

you love this aspect of your relationship

being able to understand how your flaws impact the other and choosing to make changes or adjustments

it’s sweet and you must be smiling like an idiot when thinking of it because levi blows a puff of air onto your forehead knocking you out of your daydream

feeling a little less light headed than before you notice he’s walking back out towards the courtyard

why is he doing that...?

“you’re walking in the wrong direction?”

“no i’m not.” he replies with a smug grin

oh my god

no he isn’t

oh my god

is he???

you’re bright pink in the face as you turn to look at him panicking when you hear hange’s group returning

eren can be heard arguing with jean as per usual and now you’re smacking levi’s chest even harder

“you don’t have to do this no, no, no. it’s okay really.” it’s funny how you’re begging him not to do what you’ve been waiting on for three days

but you really don’t want him to feel like he has to do this

as if he’s read your mind he replies. “i’m doing this with my own free will.”

he gives you one last grin and pushes you up against the wall, your back is against the cold yet solid surface and you tense up

oh god. it’s happening he’s diving down and it’s as if everything is moving in slow motion.

gradually you feel the familiar feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest

both of your lips mould together, he’s hoisting you up again preventing you from slipping away. hungry hands grip at your thighs and a knowing smile twitches across his mouth.

nipping at his bottom lip he groans and you nearly forget why it is he’s kissing you

that is until you hear a SCREAM from your right

“eren what the fuck are you yelling at?” jean’s voice can be heard scowling in the distance but you’re too distracted by levi’s mouth to care

eren must be speechless because nothing is heard until jean reaches the scene

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“WHERE IS REINER??? HE’S NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.”

“you’re both overreacting.” mikasa makes her appearance and you’re not sure if she’s seen you and levi yet because your eyes fluttered shut long ago

“Y/N AND THE CAPTAIN????? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE MIKASA??” eren’s voice sounds so distressed you guess you’re right for assuming he may have had a crush on you at some point

“it was obvious, i don’t know how no one else knew.”

finally levi pulls away and you’re panting practically gasping for any traces of air

“what you looking at brats?” levi snaps in their direction and mikasa nonchalantly shrugs and walks away

jean and eren however, dash away at LIGHTENING speed probably on their way to let everyone else know of the shocking new development

levi pecks your forehead and you nudge your nose against his.

since that day you and levi have been able to get away with a lot more pda

you can hold his hand and stare at how pretty your hands look laced together

you can nuzzle your face into his neck without any questions 

you can loop arms with him and even if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy it he genuinely does like walking around with you latching onto his bicep

although he still prefers the privacy of his office he’s more than happy to give in once in a while

and at the end of the day you’re ecstatic because there’s no more kissing behind your horse!!!

GONE ARE THOSE DAYS

wooHOO

honestly, you’re over the moon about it 

and so is levi

:-)

[agent-cupcake]

IDK why but yandere prompt 10 screams sylvain to me! it's okay if you dont wanna do this one, though. thank you for opening requests! ive really enjoyed all your writings

10. “I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t have you.”

Sylvain didn’t greet you when you took a seat beside him, ready for the meeting to be called. Agriculture wasn’t a particular interest of yours, but it was a part of your duty as the wife of an important, land-owning lord to be invested in the affairs of Gautier territory. For his part, your husband didn’t seem terribly enthused. Just as you were about to ask if he was okay, he spoke.

“Who was he?” Sylvain asked in a would-be casual voice, low enough to be lost in the mindless chatter of the slowly filling council room.

The question usually went something like that, innocuous but pointed enough for you to know where it was headed. And you knew who and what he was referring to, knew it so intently that you felt a completely unreasonable stab of guilt because you knew how Sylvain was, how he might have interpreted your interaction with one of the male mages working on the current project. As familiar as the question was, you couldn’t immediately guess the tone. Sylvain was tricky, always masking his intentions behind playful masks and a glip front.  

“Who?” you asked, playing dumb. That sometimes worked. If it seemed like you were innocent, he might drop it and move on. It would be incriminating if you admitted that you knew what he meant right away. And if he was just teasing, playing around to fill the part of the protective husband, you didn’t mind the role of the oblivious wife. Really, you wished you were that type of woman. Blind to the world, and especially the men, around you. Everything would be so much easier.

"That guy you were talking to,” Sylvain explained, dangerously nonchalant. “The two of you seemed pretty close.”

“Really? We only met… Mmm, last week?” you replied, refusing to meet his eye or become flustered. That would just make you seem guilty. Which you weren’t. “He’s from Fhirdiad, one of the mages who are working on solutions to fertilizing the soil in the fields near the Fraldarius border.” You hesitated, searching for something to add, something to change the subject and ease the tension. “Um, the tests so far have been really encouraging. They’re thinking that next spring they can have at least half of that land ready for production.”

"Yeah, I heard about that,” Sylvain said, nodding off your attempt to distract him. “I was just asking ‘cause you were laughing pretty hard.”

There it was. Sylvain’s tone, as you had come to know quite intimately, was cool, a little stiffer than his usual way of speaking. Lacking inflection. It was always like that with him. He never told you outright when he thought or felt or explained his stark shift in demeanor, always skirting around the subject with those needling little questions, maintaining his façade of indifference even as a storm brewed behind his dark eyes. Once, what felt like a lifetime ago, he told you that he’d never experienced jealousy before you. He told you that it hurt. Was this pain? Was that what made everything so uneasy and uncomfortable, leaving you scrambling to find the words to ease his mind?

You forced a faint smile, clinging to your innocence. “Was I?”

“Yeah,” Sylvain said, clearly not buying it. If anything, his eyes just narrowed. “You were.”

“We were just discussing his work. If I was laughing, I don’t…” You shook your head, forcing a shrug. “Please don’t get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” he asked. “I was just wondering who he is.”

“For no reason,” you said, some of your frustration leaking through.

“Yeah, sure, for no reason,” Sylvain agreed in an amicably flat tone. “Although now I’m curious about why you’re so defensive.” He paused, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I guess he was kinda handsome. Are you worried I’m jealous?”

“That’s not-”

“‘Cause I’m not…” he insisted. “Unless there’s a reason I should be.”

There wasn’t. There never was. You never thought like that. But he did. Sylvain always did, those too keen eyes of his following you around, waiting for you to slip up in some way, to do something for him to misinterpret in the most uncharitable ways he could. Even if it was ignored, unspoken, willed out of existence through the sheer force of his adoration, yours was not a relationship born out of the stuff of romantic novels or even the clumsy affections of young lovers. For as obsessively insistent he once was in proving your own feelings to you, sometimes it was like Sylvain didn’t believe it when you told him you loved him and only him. Because there was a time―such a long time ago, hardly worth remembering―when you didn’t mean it. Even though you did now, that memory was his constant anxiety, an endless tension lingering right below the surface.

“I don’t want to fight,” you finally said, spreading your hands out in an attempt to de-escalate the situation, to convince him of your innocence. “I swear that it meant nothing. But… but if it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t talk to him again. I really, honestly don’t care.”

“Sheesh, you make me sound like I’m some sort of control freak,” Sylvain said with an air of coolly playful offense, leaning back in his chair. “Why would you even assume I’m trying to fight?”

“I don’t-”

“I’m not,” he said before you could really respond. Not loudly, never loud enough to draw any unnecessary attention to the two of you. Sylvain always knew exactly how to skirt the line of propriety in public. “It’s not like it’s even my business who you talk to. I’m only your husband. No big deal, really.”

“It is!” you insisted, heat burning at the back of your eyes. Realizing you’d spoken a bit too loud, you softened your voice, glancing around the room to ensure nobody heard the slip-up. “You are. Of c-course you are.” Maybe it was the trembling of your bottom lip as you stared hard at the table to fight off the tears burning your eyes that made regret flash over Sylvain’s face. Sometimes, when he was in a very particular type of mood, your crying only spurred him on, but not now.

“H-hey,” Sylvain told you, leaning close and draping his arm across your shoulders. “Don’t cry. I was just playing around. Guess I let it go too far.” Now he seemed apologetic, looking at you with a sheepish smile.

You met his eyes, confusion and distress giving away to understanding. Of course Sylvain had only been pretending. And you had been overreacting, always too sensitive to this kind of thing. Embarrassment followed the momentary emotional lapse, frustration that you wouldn’t just go along with his antics and had to go and make it all weird. Relief, too. It was just pretend, after all. He wasn’t upset with you.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Sylvain asked sweetly, pulling you towards him with the arm around your shoulders, his soft voice tickling your ear.

“You’re too mean,” you told him. But the words weren’t serious. They made him smile fondly, such a dramatic shift from the Sylvain of only minutes before.

“I’ve gotta keep you on your toes,” he said. “You never know what’s going on in the heads of pretty girls like you. I mean, imagine if I lost you to a guy who studies dirt. I’d never live it down.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you told him, leaning into the half embrace.

“Isn’t it? But, you know, I can’t help it.” Sylvain leaned in even closer, speaking in such a low, intimate way that it definitely pushed the lines of propriety, even for him. “I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t have you.”      

[johannas-motivational-insults]

@ericamzdm I’ve read all three parts of your 5x06 pick apart and I think you made some interesting points. I’m going to respond to all of the posts at once (really just the first two, though) for the sake of clarity, and because a lot of the themes carry over and my remarks on them are more general. I’m doing this in a seperate post to avoid highjacking yours and so I’m not sending a huge ass post onto my followers’ timelines. (But interested readers should check out the original posts here: part 1, part 2, part 3.)

First of all, while I disagree with a number of your conclusions, I want to say thank you for putting into words why this episode (and in particular the fandom’s reaction to it) makes me really uncomfortable. I’m not actually sure how much of the problem is in the episode itself vs. the way people talk about it, but I agree said framing issue is there and the writers could have made it better with a few small changes.

I wouldn’t call Adora’s behavior in this episode abusive, with the possible exceptions of the mattress flip and backing Catra into the corner and pinning her arm. And even with those, you gotta remember that these two have been friends since they were little kids, and scrapping and physical aggression is just part of their relationship (remember Catra scratching Adora in 5x03?). Of course, it used to be playful/childish and now the context is different, so there’s room for disagreement there. Even if it is abusive it’s clearly unintentionally so, but Adora does have a very bad habit (we saw it in Promise too) of getting up in Catra’s face and using her superior size to intimidate, which is super uncomfortable to watch given how many times we have seen Shadow Weaver do the same thing to Catra.

Really, I think the crux of this matter is that neither Catra nor Adora is abusive towards the other, but they were raised in an abusive environment and picked up a lot of their tools for handling conflict from that environment. Further, I disagree with your assertion that Adora was abusing Catra back in the Horde. However, you are right that she picked up bad habits there and I think in a way Catra feels like Adora abused her because she was part of the system that abused her - while she tried to protect her from Shadow Weaver we know she also did some victim blaming. Adora wasn’t in a position of much influence and was trying to help, but I can understand the resentment there and why Catra felt the need to cut ties earlier in the show.

One thing you’re very right about, though, is that in this episode Adora did loom quite a bit and used intimidating body language that made me (and Catra) uncomfortable as an abuse survivor. I disagree Adora’s holding Catra prisoner but I think to Catra it might feel that way anyway, which is really the issue. As you noted there is a huge power imbalance here with Catra recovering from basically dying and being in her PJs and with no allies. And Adora definitely violates Catra’s boundaries again and again, so set on smoothing things over that she fails to realize her insistence on fixing things is making them worse. As is often the case with her, her intentions are good but she completely misreads what the other person needs from her and barges on with her way instead of listening to them. Adora’s complaint that nothing has changed is her fault as much as Catra’s imo.

I also agree the part where she is stomping around huffing and kicking things and complaining that Catra is a brat is a sign of her emotional dysregulation and Not Great behavior. Someone asked once if I found that behavior abusive and no I don’t because it’s not directed at Catra, but it is still hard to watch. I agree Adora’s categorization of Catra as a brat while lashing out physically feels a little Shadow Weaver (intentionally or not) and that specific word choice does imply that she looks down on Catra and doesn’t respect her agency/isn’t putting in the effort to understand why she is not being ‘convenient’. It’s not a good look, and it’s not clear enough that she’s in the wrong here. (Catra is in the wrong too, the issue is that Adora’s behavior is also problematic but is not sufficiently framed that way.)

This could have been such a pivotal scene if Glimmer had taken a bit of a different tack with Adora. In fact, I think that was what made the episode just not quite work the way it’s supposed to. Glimmer is a lot like Catra, and she has had a lot of similar conflicts with Adora. If Glimmer had done more to discourage Adora’s overbearing behavior and told her she needs to give Catra space and respect it could have done a lot for Glimmer’s character arc as well as the arc of this episode. Without that, you’re right, the moment when Adora backs off and gives Catra the space to choose lands more like bitterness and giving up as opposed to making a choice to respect Catra’s agency in the way she needs to if she wants Catra to feel safe to open up.

(Of course she does agree later on to trust Catra’s judgement and let her connect to the hivemind and that also shows development, but as you said it felt a little unearned.)

So yeah I disagree with your assertions that Adora is an abuser and that she’s holding Catra prisoner, but I agree with a number of your observations about the episode itself. I also agree that the framing of the episode made it seem more like it was Catra being the problem rather than Catradora having a hard time renegotiating their relationship and its boundaries. Adora is absolutely being overbearing in this episode and I don’t think it was properly addressed, i.e. it wasn’t clear enough that those problems they were both having were problems on Adora’s end too. And I think a different conversation with Glimmer could have fixed that, just a few lines. The episode showed both of them struggling but I think it does come across like more of the onus is on Catra, like she’s being unreasonable as opposed to being defensive for understandable reasons.

But like I said, some of this is actually more about the fandom’s reaction to the episode. Maybe the writers were hoping to get across that they both needed to work on their bullshit but the fandom has excused Adora because she’s the hero. To be fair, Adora’s mistakes in this episode are very in character for her, in line with her faults/insecurities in general, so maybe they expected us to understand she’s not handling the situation properly.

The fandom reaction to Adora flipping Catra’s mattress and backing her into the corner reminds me of the reactions to DT obliterating Catra with that speech in 4x13. I think on some level we like seeing these drastic actions because watching Catra spiral is frustrating and we want to see something get through to her. It’s satisfying in a way. But on the other hand, both those situations left her with this kind of body language:

And idk, I’m not sure that’s something we as a fandom should be celebrating. Especially considering that DT’s speech left Catra wanting to die and that this bullish behavior by Adora wasn’t really what flipped the switch. It’s pretty significant that the moment Catra asks Adora to stay is once she backs off and says she won’t force her to give her a place in her life. And I think we the fandom tend to overlook that.

So op, I wish you hadn’t come to some of the conclusions you did with your analysis, but I am grateful to you for starting this conversation. I was having a hard time putting it into words other than “it sets off tons of alarm bells in my head and does no one else hear that??”

[rethesun]

When 1D deny bad management and more such as closeting

I did some critical thinking for myself and realized a few things. What I wrote here is likely not groundbreaking at all. I'm just probably someone far behind catching up and hopefully, this makes sense. It’s a trust the process post because I have a feeling it may ruffle the feathers of larries and antis until you get to the end. Please note that it is not my intention to disrespect anyone at all but I can’t please everyone. I learned the hard way that I am allowed to share an opinion too. 

When Niall or another 1d member denies such an issue and so causally, or Zayn in this 2015 fader interview. it confirms a fear that by speculating and I sometimes buy into conspiratorial thinking I’m in the wrong and I’m rude and I need a reality check. It also makes me feel like I need to apologize take a huge step back, and, from now on, respect what they say. Fyi, I’ve never been okay with invasiveness and I morally feel many people take it way too far. Regardless of larry, all types of fans can be invasive/disrespectful. 

Now that those disclaimers are out of the way I’ll get into it.

For argument's sake, lets say,

It isn't true that 1d management or anyone else's management mistreat, e.g., threaten, harass, lie about/abuse/take advantage of young minds/closet/pr stunt people in the industry. Meaning, the norm is that artists are treated well and with respect. Then that means Rebecca Ferguson's story is just a one-time thing or a blip in the system that happens now and then; all in all, rarely ever. Seeing as that is true in this scenario, people would rush to her defense and be outraged. They would make it known it should not happen again or fight for/encourage better laws, so in the future it's less likely to happen. They would say ‘I would never work in/promote/support such a company if I knew.’ Would they not? 

Note: Of course, people stay closeted all of the time so it’s entirely plausible people are advised to not be open about it or choose not to be open, and unfortunate mistreatment stories like the boy band Why Don’t We, Britney Spears', Rebecca Ferguson's, Amanda Bynes' Zayn Malik’s, Liam payne’s, Miley Cyrus' (when she was working for disney) Princess Diana (even though her circumstances were a bit different) and more exist. Sometimes these stories and issues are brought up, although it's usually mentioned for a moment, and it's easily forgotten or they blame the victim or it’s brushed off with an excuse or something to soften the harshness of it’s reality. One example of many here, here, & here.

Now let's try a different pov:

For argument’s sake, lets say,

It is true that: a) 1d was overworked and very much dehumanized. Their mental and physical health was not the priority when it should always have been, and/or b) one or more people chose/were advised/pushed (Idk which since Idk them personally) to stay in the closet because xyz.

In this circumstance, such a thing as a an industry that does the above^ is common knowledge because it’s the norm. A recent example & Adding this here again because yep. 

It makes me think of when people see mistreatment in let’s say a workplace, and instead of people coming together at the person's defense, they turn a blind eye. Now why would anyone turn a blind eye to abuse? Unless you are somehow affected by it? Either that or you straight up don’t care. The former is a broad red flag and the latter is an individual red flag. Keep that in mind, I’ll come back to it.

People don't tend to overly worry about an average job loss over defending someone who is mistreated unless it's the only thing keeping them afloat/they are providing for others. In this scenario, people would go work somewhere else and/or go to someone's defense if they knew they were protected or weren't in harm's way by doing so. 

This makes me think public figure people stay silent or stay in the closet for an unfortunate reason.  A repetitive note: Sometimes people choose to stay in the closet and want… obviously it’s due to heteronormativity so it’s not that they want to want to but in a small way due to the circumstances they may have reasons too. They may not be ready or don’t trust everyone with that information so they only tell certain people which is 100% valid. People have every right to not share with those they don’t want to share with; that can be due to ‘perhaps privacy or perhaps conditioning or shame.’ (I am living proof) Other times people don’t want to but it’s heavily advised onto them. (as a non-public figure ordinary person most queer people can relate including me) E.g., heteronormativity, they want to keep their position as an artist. Regardless whether choosing not to be open or being heavily advised not to: People probably don't talk about it because maybe they don't want to revisit/publicly share yet/ever. Or the management they had was stressful and they don’t want to revisit that publicly. People in general may adjust to it and choose to ignore that just because something is normalized doesn't make it fair or always right. 

I am fully empathetic and understanding to why people choose not to speak out about themselves or for those privacy they are respecting. It’s no ones business except theirs and the people they share it with. Whether it be about gender identity, sexuality, or abuse.

Those who don't have personal reasons not to call attention to these messed up norms are standing idle, and that speaks volumes.

What's also sad is when media and artists stay silent, people like Rebecca Ferguson go under the radar. Even though she's currently speaking out, people haven't given her the coverage that they would give to some rubbish gossip piece on the front of a trashy magazine or some fluff gossip site. If the main media do give attention (and they do sometimes) to these serious issues, it's again, for a moment, and then things are back to business as usual. That's just the media. We still don't see tons of public figures banning together outraged calling for more respect and change. 

That said, I hope Why Don’t We and Rebecca Ferguson, and all others, eventually get the justice needed. Luckily Rebecca recently mentioned she is no longer in that situation and now is just working on proving her case to help others from going through the same. Significantly for younger, plausibly more vulnerable artists just starting their careers. 

An afterthought: Many well-known celebrities didn't speak a word about Britney Spears' situation, if I am not misinformed, until it became headline news everywhere. (Mind everyone, her situation was considered a conspiracy for a long time) Until it became seen as a movement of the moment. That makes me wonder whether it's sometimes performative (plausible) or people are uncomfortable or worse: afraid to speak out until everyone is. 

In conclusion, speculating that one or more people may be lying about management, are choosing to stay in the closet, or are being closeted are not bad/unreasonable standpoints. (If you hadn’t noticed you don’t need to be a larrie to have this point of view seeing as I’m not considered a larrie but I manage to respect larries and antis) Not everyone reading this will agree with me, but that's okay. After all, most people see/think differently in the outside world, so it is what it is.

Follow Rebecca on twitter here. She updates it regularly with information on mistreatment in the music industry.

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

Supergirl 6x08: Thoughts, Defense, and Criticism

I will say the episode mildly exceeded my expectations. I was very please to see them actually exploring trauma in a semi-realistic way.

I’ll start with my most positive— and most widely agreed with opinion: that Danvers sisters scene kicked ass. It is the kind of content that the show has been sorely missing. From Alex’s failure to open the wine bottle to Kara’s breakdown, there wasn’t a single beat that didn’t work in that scene. I LOVED Melissa Benoist’s performance— the halting, hesitating speech and lack of eye contact— you could feel just how painful it was to talk about the phantom zone, let alone admit she was still afraid. Chyler Leigh played her part wonderfully— the care with which she spoke every word just oozed love and worry. The casting of those two together was just a miracle.

(More under the cut. A lot more.)

There was some awkward dialogue (did they think the audience wouldn’t know who a reporter named Iris was? They had to include the full, hyphenated last name?) but honestly it was pretty good for a supergirl episode, so I can’t really complain.

Melissa Benoist is just a powerhouse of an actor and it showed this week. I could go on and on about her perfomance but there’s a lot more to say about the episode so I’ll just say she’s the bomb and move on.

Brainy and Nia were delightful as always, providing much of the humor of the episode and still shouldering some of the more dramatic beats. Brainy’s welcome home hug for Kara was something I felt in my soul don’t @ me.

The Nia/Lena friendship. I didn’t expect it, but I am certainly enjoying it. Hoping to see them hang out more (though maybe with a different topic than dead moms)

Lena continues to be a seedless addition to the Superfriends. Her leaving is, however, one of the few major issues I have with the episode. It’s weird. And random. From a purely character standpoint I don’t understand why she wouldn’t even wait a week for Kara to get settled back in before leaving. From an overall plot standpoint, I just don’t care about the Lena mom arc. I never have, and honestly I think there are better uses for her screen time— then again, removing her opens up that time for other characters and let’s the writers move along her character development offscreen— it worked for Mon El!

But seriously, i don’t know if Lena is going to just disappear or if we’re going to have a separated sub plot of her doing things and I don’t really care. I just want her to do something that I have any vague interest in, like have her finally pay back that debt to Andrea from 5x01 (did that even still happen? They called Kara a Pulitzer winner this episode.) Or have her work with Nia to track down information about interpreting her magic dreams, or go on a team bonding subplot with Alex where they get over the mind control and attempted murder via satellite thing (maybe talk about Alex’s experience with Myriad, or maybe, you know, have her resolve anything with Kara. Try and bridge icy awkward gap that happens when you realize your best friend was a lying asshole and you slightly overreact by trying to make it physically impossible for anyone to be mean to you ever again.

And speaking of Andrea— I’m actually really enjoying her character for the first time since crisis. She was fun in a way that made me laugh and worked well to both further herself as a character and push the plot. I’m genuinely excited for her scenes next episode. And they wrote all this without changing her at all as a character. Something just clicked this time, I’m not sure if it was how unstable Kara was so her aggression was actually effective or that her subplot actually had consequence this time, but it was nice.

And Zor-El was there, I guess.

I have, personally, been against any Kryptonian resurrections since season 1. Supergirl had their go of it, and it worked very well, and they used up their slot. Reign earned an exception for being a bamf and giving us what the best fight scene supergirl has ever had. The other worldkillers did not. And Argo made me unreasonably angry, especially when it was so painfully wasted.

Zor-El is just the new, shiny version of Argo and equally useless. (Also, Argo is alive again? Did we know that?) This is not to say I didn’t enjoy him at all, this episode is the first that I’ve liked him. But still. That one throw away comment about the phone calls and superhearing being hard to deal with could have led to a really interesting conversation with Kara: tackling the really unpleasant parts of her childhood, the difficulties she has pretending to be human, and ultimately the pain and suffering her caused by sending her off, alone, to care for an infant on a foreign planet. They knew it would give her powers; did they know what those powers would mean? Did they care?

I wanted that conversation, and I wanted the others, Nia in particular, to hear it. (Nia grew up a half-alien in Parthas, Kara grew up with the DEO hanging over her head like an ax— that difference has always intrigued me.)

Zor-El and Sesame Street was sweet, though I don’t know where he found the time to binge that and learn to control his powers all while Kara was still asleep.

Kara saying Clark used to beg to bring her to the fortress is a blatant retcon of seasons 1 and 2, but I think the writers make copies of the show bible just to set them on fire each episode.

And again— very interesting possible conversations. What does Zor think of his so very not Kryptonian-Kryptonian nephew? What does he think of Kara’s distant relationship with him? What does he think of Clark dumping Kara on the Danvers (for very arguable reasons) and then barely acknowledging her existence (for considerably less arguable, I’d totally in-character reasons)? What does he think of Clark’s data crystal that built a whole fortress, while his contained the recipe for his bio-weapon and a hologram of his wife? (What kind of person sends their teenage daughter off with a baby and a bio-weapon? The fuck did he think she’d need that for?) Was it so important to him to preserve his work?

Would it KILL THEM to have one conversation acknowledging Astra and Non’s existence. Just to explain how Kara knew her father was responsible for Krypton’s destruction. Could I have that instead of Oscar the trash monster? (Trash robot? Trash robot monster?)

Overall, I enjoyed the episode— it was better than I expected. I’m cautiously optimistic for next week.

And one more thing:

Where the fuck is Lex?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been praying for his character to go away for over a year, but like???

His abuse victim just left him.

The abuse victim who he torments for the fun and attention of it.

That victim.

Just told him he doesn’t get any more attention.

5. Episodes. Ago.

And he didn’t blow up half the city?

No “Look at me! Look at me!” destructive rampage?

Are they building up for something? They haven’t even mentioned his name. Even if he doesn’t lash out, he’s still a supervillain. Who’s got all this power and money, and is in controlling of a bunch of government stuff.

Idk.

Just.

Feels like someone should get on that.

[ashtcnirwin]

what the heck is good, A? 🤠✨ could i inquire from Ten Qs Every Author Wants to Be Asked: 6 for Cards Are Dealt; 7 for the Fall Into Me series; and,,, 10 for Tidal Wave? 👀 – Nik 🤠💖

hellooo nik dear, tysm🧡🧡🧡

6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in Cards Are Dealt?

oooh damn... there aren't many actual scenes that were cut, really; some were rewritten a little in the final draft, a few lines were taken out here and there, but no full scenes were taken out unless i'm forgetting something. i did, however, play around with a lot of potential backstories for ashton before i settled on the one he got, especially on the whole "why would he move to a town that small?" cos that's not something people typically just do for no reason and without a second thought, so the ideas i bounced around were everything from "nasty breakup, felt forced to relocate" to "he's an extremely spontaneous person and he accidentally stumbled over an ad for a free position and figured 'huh well why the fuck not?'

as for scenes that were added, the two main ones that come to mind are: 

- the last scene in the whole fic (the hay loft smut). it was originally gonna go down in the damn forest and include a lot of moss and twigs in uncomfortable places, for absolutely no other reason than the comedic value of it - not so much one scene that was added, maybe, but i was originally gonna have luke’s drunken phone call at the end of part 4 and lashton’s reconcilation happen either on the same day (ashton coming over to see luke after the call ended) or have ashton come over the next day. so i essentially dragged the whole process out a little (by...adding a number of scenes), but in my defense, i didn’t do it to up the word count, but because i didn’t want them to have that whole conversation while luke was drunk off his ass, nor did i think luke, with the way he was written, would have been ready to lay his cards on the table already the day after considering how mortified he was by everything he confessed to in his lil drunken stupor. plus, i also liked the parallells between the time in part 2 (?) where luke came to ashton after having had a bad day simply cos he didn’t have anyone else to turn to, and then him coming to ashton again after another bad day at work but this time cos he wanted ashton’s company specifically rather than just any company he could get

7. Who was your favorite character to write in Fall Into Me?

is it weird if i say luke, considering he was very much a minor character who had little to nothing to do with the main "plot"? i just really enjoyed writing the few scenes he played a part in cos, especially in the series' second installment, he was very clearly made out to be not the greatest person when faced with certain types of situations. i wrote him as being quite egotistical and unreasonably possessive of smth he had no right to be possessive over, actually, and... idk, i haven't written many characters like that, not really, so i enjoyed it a lot!

10. What are some facts readers may not know about Tidal Wave?

huh... a gazillion things most likely👀

the first thing that springs to mind (mostly thanks to a completely unrelated dm i got like 30 minutes ago) is that i was originally (and i mean, like, in the very very early stages of planning) considering having lashton enter some sort of fwb relationship and then for it to go from that to romance. it would’ve worked, for sure, but it would have also given the fic a very, very different tone, it would have added more... nsfw angst, and lbr there was enough angst in there as it was. given luke and ashton’s individual states of mind and how cautious and nervous i wanted them to be about entering any type of relationship with each other, having them go from friends to fwb to lovers would have added at least 100k to the story too, and it would have included even more twists and turns than there are as it is on a far less serious (but very, very truthful) note: i know plenty of readers adore the beach scenes and i am happy with the role they ended up playing and i quite like the conversations lashton had there, but holy fuck does this writer LOATHE the beach & the ocean with a fiery passion. i do not vibe with the beach, it’s gross and it smells funny and the ocean scares me and it’s the last place i’d ever sit down for a conversation😠

Writer asks!

[jaeheekangisimportant]

I dont know if you had ever felt this but here is a confession, I feel personally attacked when someone who dislikes my fav and shows no empathy towards him, not even trying to understand his perspective. I feel attacked because I relate to him in several aspect, be it personal experiences or personality traits....I myself feel hated as well. This is sometimes the reason why I feel like taking a huge break from the mysme community. I remember last week i saw a fanart of him on my explore page only to find that someone had written negative stuff about him and honestly that actually makes me physically triggered. I am being overdramatic but sorry this makes me feel personally hated as well.

I definitely understand being upset when someone dislikes your fave, especially when it’s a character you relate to. There is a reason why this blog and my Yoosung ones exist, after all. But it’s important not to base your self-worth and happiness too much in fandom. Someone disliking your fave is not a personal attack, even if it feels like one. I can understand being defensive, again that’s why I have these blogs, but you have to train yourself not to take it personally.

I’m really saying this out of concern for you, anon, because I know the feeling and experience you’re describing and it’s not a healthy one. I don’t like to get too personal on these blogs but if I can talk about my own experience for a moment, I’ve found that when my depression and anxiety is especially bad, when I’m in a really bad space emotionally and mentally, that’s when I start feeling what you’re describing the most. Because I tend to use fandom as a distraction and a coping mechanism when I’m not doing well, and that can be okay in moderation, but I’ve also found that it’s during those times that I’m especially sensitive to criticisms and discourse. I find myself getting unreasonably upset over what I perceive as bad takes about things I like and taking it all too personally, and that’s when I know it’s time to step back and sort out my own shit. Because I’m not really that upset about fandom discourse, that’s a minor annoyance at best, I’m upset about this other thing in my life that I’m not dealing with or can’t deal with, and I’m deflecting my emotional energy onto something else because it feels easier. I don’t know if it’s exactly the same for you, this is just something that I’ve seen in myself and maybe it could help you understand why you feel this way sometimes? Idk. 2020 is also just a terrible year for everyone, so it’s not exactly easy to process anything or be our best selves right now

The best advice I can give you is to teach yourself to step back and take a break from fandom when you need to, and also make yourself a space in it that’s comfortable for you. As much as we joke about Tumblr being a hellsite, it really is one of the easiest places to curate your online experience. Unfollow who you need to unfollow, block who you need to block, seek out the content you want and do your best to ignore content that you know will upset you.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

got a comment a few days ago that i can’t stop thinking about

in one of my latest chapters, i had a character essentially come out as being autistic. this was a character i’ve spent 30-something chapters doing subtle build-up to because she doesn’t look like the nts idea of what an autistic character looks like. she’s truer to my experience and the experience of my autistic friends. thing is, i had her use the word “aspergers”. not to describe herself, but to sort of open the discussion. she even said she was glad they didn’t use the word anymore. but she herself in that chapter never used the word “autistic”. it’s my plan to have this character have a longer arc where she learns that her voice is valuable and learns to be brave within the context of her limitations and learns that the skills she has aren’t useless. but one of the things i wanted to do was challenge the people who still insist on using “aspergers” as a descriptor. because it’s mainly neurotypicals who still insist on using it. i’ve had encounters throughout my life of people either not respecting me as an autistic person until i’ve used the word “aspergers” or flat-out using the word to describe me. it reassures nts that i’m not one of “those” autistics. you know, the kind that they need to pity and feel sorry for. the ones who need the extra help. i’m probably a genius or something. but the truth is always more complicated than that and that’s one of the reasons i’m so bitter about the term and decided to have this character use it as a defense mechanism. because she’s so used to people treating her differently because of her diagnosis.

thing is, that i may not have been clear with my intentions on this matter. a commenter asked me not to use the word “aspergers” because “as an actual autistic person, we prefer autistic” and i had to stop and realize that yeah, not everyone should be expected to read my bio before engaging with my content and it’s unreasonable to assume that everyone should know my diagnostic history or my intentions. it was just something to reflect on. and i think people on the internet forget that this goes both ways. because you can choose to hate on innocent commenters who are making reasonable requests and may not have full context for what you’re doing, or you can take into account the fact that maybe you’re not being fully transparent in your intentions with the work. it’s not always the consumers responsibility to parse this out, especially with regards to representation of often incorrectly represented groups.

idk just something i’m thinking about. like i forget that even though i’m loudly and constantly posting about autism on this blog that people on my ao3 don’t necessarily know anything about that 

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

For the fic request thing some kind of human au for Desleep? Sorry, I know I’m being super vague but I really don’t have anything specific I want, just that ship? Idk

Hope you had fluff in mind cause that's where my head went. Thank you for the prompt!

Five More Minutes

Summary: Not every day is going to be a good day. But it's easy to turn it into one when a warm lap awaits you just inside your home.

Warnings: mild swearing

Ships: Remy (Sleep) x Janus (Deciet)

WC: 1,082

Janus trudged tiredly up the stairs to his apparrment. The sixth floor had seemed like a great idea at the time. Only to other occupied spaces were up there and they were towards the front, while his own was nestled safely in the back corner. Quiet and peaceful since it didnt share any walls with loud neighbors and far up enough that the fact that the buildings elevator didnt work was usually a blessing since it kept guests away when he really wasnt in the mood for social interaction, which happened more often than not.

Well. With one exception.

He dug around in his bag for the key, smiling as he caught faint music playing inside. He paused as he strained to hear the tunes better, smiling wider while unlocking the door.

Origin of Symmetry. Dark Shines. Of course. Idly he wondered how long the album had been on loop throughout the day. He knocked the door shut with a toss of his bag, leaving it where it landed for now and slipping his shoes off as he walked. The hat fell next to reveal tousled dark blonde hair in desperate need of a flattening iron if only to save his edgy style from tipping into choir boy aesthetics. He caught sight of his target resting on the couch, legs splayed and head tipped back as he hummed softly to the music. An easy work day mist have been too much to ask for either of them.

Flopping unceremoniously onto his stomach he wriggled forward until he was fully stretched out on a warm lap. If he had ever wondered why cats liked laps so much he had stopped when he met Remy and they had cuddled for the first time. Warm, safe and only slightly uncomfortable with how bony the others' knees could be it felt like all the problems of the world could be boxed off neatly and launched into the sun for all he cared to think about them while relaxing. And that wasn't even mentioning....

Sinking down even further he very nearly purred at the feeling of fingers scraping gently along his scalp, carding through messy curls and getting the worst of them away from his face. As the last guitar riff faded out, Muses cover of Feeling Good ironically began to play, the build up to the guitar drop syncing nicely with the scratches and filling his chest with warm happiness.

He didn't know when he had gotten quite this sappy. Only for Remy.

And speaking of. "Rough day?"

Humming his affirmation, his boyfriend moved to running careful fingers over his neck and any part of his upper back he could reach, chuckling as it caused Janus to stretch out with quiet contentment. "Yours doesnt seem to have gone much better, bae."

"How did I get stuck with such a basic bitch?" He groaned and buried his face further in his captured lap.

"Oh honey. Bitch? Maybe. Basic? Doubt. You wouldn't what to do with me and my coffee addiction keeping you awake until one in the morning."

Granting again, Janus flipped over to scowl at the other. "Exactly what time do you have your phone set for that you think the latest you keep me up is one?"

Smiling, Remy leaned down to peck his nose. "If I set my phone so that it only shows nine o'clock at three thirty in the morning and trick my brain into thinking I follow a proper sleep schedule then that's my business. You business is to tell your clingy boyfriend that you love him very much and then tell him why your day was shit. I can see the underlying murder under all of that pure adoration."

Pointedly ignoring the muttered "Pure irritation more like" Remy laced Janus' fingers into one hand and resumed his petting with the other, smiling softly as he watched him melt under the touch.

"It wasn't bad. I just wish it was socially acceptable to...nudge...certain coworkers down an icey sidewalk to see how many pedestrians I can knock over. I'm fully inclined to believe that that is not an unreasonable request."

Remy bit back a laugh to try not to disturb his fading headache. Caffeine kept the worst of the migraine away but he had managed to overdo it after about the 12th cup of espresso laced frappuccino. He settled for a small smile and nod of the head, expression serious as he considered the scenario.

"Maybe just use your manager to bowl over the coworkers. Innocent bystanders hardly deserve to incur your wrath."

Janjs squeezed his hand and chuckled. "It takes far goo much energy to keep righteous morals straight. I'll take what I can get. What about you? Did you have to kick anyone out again?"

The bar Remy mixed drinks for was far from high class but it was a nice establishment nonetheless. Even so, there was an occasional brawl the was left to him to break up since for at least half of the shift he was stuck on his own. Thankfully today had been a slow day, no one really came in on Thursdays, which he voiced thankfully to his partner.

"If I'm ever at the bar while you're oure working and a fight breaks out, am I allowed to shout for you to give them the chair?"

"Only if your recording it so we can say it was self defense. My insurance is good but it's not getting away with chair violence good."

"My boyfriend is such a badass."

"And mines a cuddly sap." Tiliting his head to avoid the retaliating swat he leaned his head back against the couch cushion.

"Since we both feel like tired shit I vote for takeout tonight. Pizza?"

Janus nodded. "Only if my half is Hawaiian."

Remy wrinkled his nose. "You're an abomination."

"Its not my fault you're boring with your order. The most extravagant I've seen you go is getting extra cheese put on a plain cheese pizza."

"With all the complications I put into my coffee, let me have my simple pizzas."

"Bassssic."

Remy tugged the hair he still had his hand tangled in gently. "Shut up and order. Your phone is closer and I'm lazy."

Janus shifted on his lap, turning to face Remy's stomach and wrapping his arms around his waist. "Five more minutes."

Laughing softly as the last chords of Megalomania faded around them he settled further back onto the couch.

"Five more minutes."

This is available to read on AO3!

[avelera]

Quick thoughts on Spider-Man: Far From Home:

CUT FOR SPOILERS

- 90% amazing. Had a great time at all the Teen Summer Vacation Comedy moments, it was a great genre blend for a Spider-Man film. So many great references and call-backs. I laughed a lot. 

- The 10% is... hard to express without sounding like someone who is just disappointed their theories got busted, which could (in the movie’s defense) very well be the case. 

- Let’s just start by quickly saying there was a similar sense of disorganization around the broader progression of the MCU via “Mysterio” that I felt in Captain Marvel, where now that the cinematic universe has gotten so big and could go in so many directions and have such heavy expectations placed upon each of them, sometimes it leads to jumbled motivations and story beats for the film. 

(Like in Captain Marvel it felt like the film was trying to pull double duty telling a story in space and a story about Carol and even triple duty with a story that advanced the MCU. In this case it felt like we needed to mourn Iron Man, advance Spider-Man, introduce the next possible wave of villains (which turned out to be a fake-out with the multi-verse, which left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth but I’ll get to that later), etc etc. So many possibilities of what it could be and what is going to be teased that some scenes seem set up for Misdirecting Trailer Moments in a very distracting way.)

- To that point, one minor critique I have of Mysterio is he felt a bit split on how much he liked Peter Parker. I think, personally, when they found out how much chemistry Holland and Gyllenhaal had, they should have leaned into it more and done some re-writes (or more re-writes than they did). Obviously Gyllenhaal adored chewing the scenery during the Villain Reveal of Exposition in the middle, but it was at the cost of some of the later emotional beats between him and Peter because he came across as so cartoonishly villainous, in contrast to his earlier hero persona. As such, it was hard to get a finger on just how much he really regretted the prospect of killing Peter. 

- Basically, it felt as if the script just planned Gyllenhaal’s character to be a Delightful Asshole, total evil dude who wants to be a bad guy to fill Iron Man’s shoes, very much in line with the Civil War ultimate “bad guy” of a person who is just obsessed with a hero and thus trying to bring him down or take his place, and as such had many of his flaws too.

- But because Gyllenaal seems genuinely distraught at the prospect of having to kill Peter, I feel they should have just gone with that sentiment a little more strongly? Maybe instead of him just seeming to crave becoming the next Iron Man for... idk, glory reasons? It’s not really made clear except that “being Iron Man” would be desirable and makes him Peter Parker’s foil with a similar goal gone about the wrong way? IDK, anyway, I think they could have given us a beat of him genuinely believing he could help people better than these, admittedly, rather damaged and/or immature heroes! 

- Like, it’s not unreasonable to look at Tony Stark (given his issues) or hear Peter given his immaturity (I mean, it’s unkind to say, but Mysterio basically saw him do nothing but whine about how he just wants to go on a date with this girl) and think, “Holy shit, I can do better than this! The world is at stake!” Especially if you’ve got your own team of smart people to help you that you trust. 

- Basically, his big cackling Villain Reveal scene was great! He had some legit, if unkind, critiques about the MCU heroes that leant weight to the moment and believability to his motivation! He seemed to genuinely like his team! Their plan was unorthodox but made a certain twisted sense!

- The scene after that, in the theater? Wasn’t so great. In that scene when he threatens his own team and his motivations go from wanting to “Be Iron Man”  to... what? Glory? Presumably they’ll make a lot of money, though how isn’t really clear and it’s sort of quickly dropped as a motivator. Given money was mentioned as a motivator, I’m a little surprised his team didn’t revolt when he started getting creepy about the whole thing. Also, helping people as a potential motivator kinda went away when he stopped caring about casualties.

- Anyway, that scene also kinda ruined a lot for me because it became a bit... masturbatory on Marvel’s part? A little too, “Look, we’re making a Marvel film about making a Marvel film because we’re such a big cultural touchstone now, aren’t we clever?” with how Mysterio’s suit is literally exactly what Marvel actors who do CGI wear behind the scenes? I loved the callback with the Iron Man 1 engineer being there, but overall that whole scene just took the magic out and reminded me this was a Marvel movie, because the movie itself wanted to remind me this was a Marvel (tm) movie. 

- As they say in Inception, it’s dangerous to remind the dreamer that they’re in a dream while they’re in the dream. Sometimes it can be pulled off, but normally it just takes them out of the dream entirely. Such is the rule with 4th wall breaks, no matter how clever. 

- Which gets me into my Big Issue with the film which maaay just be Disappointed Fan and less Artistic Critique. 

- I wanted multi-verse. Failing multi-verse, I would have accepted magic over technology as an explanation for Mysterio’s power, which is rare for me because I usually prefer the tech explanation.  But there was a moment when Peter is on the run from Beck’s illusions where it just wasn’t working for me, why? Because it was all drones. 

- This is a universe with Dr. Strange in it, there’s no actual reason Mysterio’s power couldn’t be magic instead of tech. 

- THAT SAID, the use of the projector tech we last saw in Civil War and the critique of Tony’s use of it, was an excellent callback and meshed nicely with the larger message of the film which is, “what to do now that Tony’s gone?” Which is the question the Marvel universe creators are facing right now (and again, struck me as a bit masturbatory like, we know you’re struggling with this question but it takes me out of the film a bit when you make a film about not knowing what to do next with the MCU?)

- THAT SAID, having them be drones instead of illusions made me feel during the fight scenes like I was watching a highlight reel of moments that would be “really cool in the trailer!” because they’d misdirect what was really happening, making the audience think it was magic instead of tech in order to conceal the Big Reveal. 

- Furthermore, the drone use raised a lot of questions like, uh, “spider senses” aside (which we’re apparently not saying for some reason?), what about sound, smell, touch, heat, taste? Is this drone wired into Peter’s nervous system? Why are they so convincing that he behaves as if he’s in a full sensory illusion (like if the illusions were magic) where we can never truly be sure if he’s awake, when this is all just Industrial Light and Magic technology at best? 

- So yeah I get it, magic is so passé, drones are cooler I guess, even if how they work so effectively with just projectors and guns makes zero sense. Mysterio is calling the plot of a Marvel movie with elemental creatures attacking dumb, thus reminding me I’m here watching a dumb Marvel movie, which by extension feels like calling the audience dumb for being here. 

- I dunno, am I crazy for wanting there to be a bit of magic? Or failing that, a bit of heart instead of a guy just villainously trying to get the perks of being a superhero by manufacturing the whole situation, never once asking if there’s good he could be doing or having deep second thoughts about the cost given a kid he genuinely likes will die if he continues with this plan? 

- Many of the scenes even looked as if they were directed and shot to be magic instead of tech, that leads further to the schizophrenic “made for the trailer” feeling of a lot of scenes, as if they were designed to be taken out of context. 

- I mean, it really was just the Iron Man 3 reveal all over again - there is no Mandarin, it’s just an actor with a guy behind him trying to become the next Iron Man. Except we’ve already had that reveal so this one felt repetitive. A more surprising reveal might have been, I dunno, Mysterio is a normal person who really does want to be Iron Man for altruistic reasons and just goes wrong along the way so he can have an honest emotional connection with Peter? Or actually from another universe but in fact a villain there and lying about it in order to become a hero in our universe? (Which was my first theory when I saw the trailer. Part of me actually wondered if Mysterio was Peter Parker from an alternate universe). 

Overall, I had fun. I think I’ll even like it more on the re-watch because my brain won’t be in overdrive trying to figure out the plot and thus be disappointed. But there was definitely a moment where they’re smirking about how stupid people are for being willing to believe a made up story about magic where I thought, “Would that really have been so bad?” 

[dangerous-disposition]

Also at the youths bc @vampireapologist s post earlier about learning to clean our rooms without guidance has had me thinking about it: y'all gotta learn that not everything ur parent does that upsets u is abuse or neglect.

Now, I have a very manipulative mother and I have a lot of issues with her, especially wrt my weight and my mental illness. Yet there are still things she has done or said that hurt me, but were not abuse or neglect.

And people will hurt you. Period. No matter how much they love and care for you, they will mess up and feelings will get hurt and things will be tense and you will have to come to an understanding, even privately without even saying anything to each other, and you will likely not get an apology. And sometimes you can be absolutely wrong about being upset because sometimes we fuck up, get defensive and don't want to "lose" a fight that we already lost.

Obviously a parent who physically harms you, completely ignores you or is constantly dismissive, or verbally degrades and lies to use is abusive. This is not a post about obvious abuse tactics.

But a parent who asks you to change the subject after you've been going on about the same thing for hours is not abusive. They are still a person who has so much patience, and if it's a subject they find boring you literally cannot expect them to care for a full day. And I know it can be hurtful to be told to stop talking about something you love and it's really easy to spin it in our heads that they never ever care about what you like ever but like... Take a step back and figure out "how many conversations did I have today with this parent, and how many were just about this topic alone?" and maybe that's just a very adult way to think about things, but whatever.

And I used to be enraged by my parents telling me to change the subject after I had been talking about the intricacies of Fruits Basket for a week straight, but after a morning of hearing nothing but viruses and explaining the same thing close to a billion times to a 6yo I suddenly understand my parents' struggles with me and my sister as kids and teens and our various obsessions. There was a whole week with my son where the only conversations I had with him was about a specific dinosaur. After a week I was like "Elijah I'm not talking about this dinosaur anymore. We've talked about it to death. I have answered all your questions, we have googled every conceivable fact about it, we have drawn it, everything. I'm done." and he went "you NEVER want to listen to me" and laid in the dark in his room for 15 mins. And I mean, we talked about nothing else. I would come home from work and the first thing he said was not "hi mommy" it was "did u know carnotaurus [fact I had googled 25 times already]"

And sometimes parents are going thru things and they aren't 100% emotionally available all the time. And as a young person you feel like ur world is always imploding (and for some of us it dflefinitely is or was) and ur parents look like everything is put together why aren't they always there to listen and fix things for you and blah blah blah. And like our parents probably DON'T have everything together and their lives are also seemingly imploding constantly.

Like idk i just see this alarming trend in young people that if someone isn't emotionally available always, and if u aren't blissfully happy always, then it's abuse and neglect rather than literally just humans being humans and it's unreasonable to expect humans to be above losing patience or being absorbed in their own problems, even parents.

Again, this is not about abuse and neglect, this isn't about finding ur behaviour that "caused" to the abuse or neglect. But parents telling u every now and then to stop talking about something or that they can't listen to ur vent right now is not abuse or neglect.

This post has gone on too long and I have more to say bc I'm mostly just stream-of-thoughting this but bleh.

Avoid watering down the definition of abuse.

[rememberingthesugden-dingles]

capseycartwright replied to your post “i get it's annoying to see the same shit over and over but people were...”

tbh for me the thing that always brings me down is that the negative reaction becomes the hyper focus of fandom, you know? like absolutely if you don’t enjoy something or you think a scene is lacking, point it out, because that’s why you have this platform and use it, to express your opinions, but my dash got to a point last night where there wasn’t a single post that wasn’t ~~ discourse ~~ about robron and their affection and to me it just feels exhausting and unproductive to solely focus on that one thing you know? and that’s why personally i get so annoyed that we go through this every time robron have a scene that lacks physical affection bc while yes absolutely it’s lacking and it could definitely be better (no one really disputes that I feel) the days of hyper focused discourse that take over my dash no matter what tags i filter or blogs i block is just mentally draining, if that makes sense? like there has to be a balance between expressing a critical opinion and having that critical opinion be the only thing anyone talks about for hours. but maybe that is just me!

no no i totally get that lorna and i feel the same about constant negativity but in this case the scene had just happened, the episode had just ended and people were still reacting to it? like that doesn’t feel too unreasonable to me that when something striking and/or annoying happens, fandom is still talking about it into the next half hour or so you know? yes we’ve been there before with this particular subject lol but again, it had just been on our screen so it feels normal to be reacting to it, i don’t really have the impression that we’re always randomly going on about it the rest of the time (or maybe i’ve blocked those people idk).

also personally i don’t think every complaint is necessarily bad or to be avoided. i think it became ~discourse~ as we like to call it, because immediately there were people trying to shut it down and getting defensive? and i don’t think what people were reacting to/complaining about needed defending. i definitely don’t think the people that were attacked deserved it either..

i just feel there would be a lot less discourse if we could all go “yeah that was a bit shit” instead of making excuses and turning on each other, and then go back to more positive things, i guess i just really don’t get the controversy here but there’s also the fact that i’m someone that needs to say it when something bugs me? like it’s not good for me to try and push it down, even if it’s a small thing? it helps me be more positive in the long run but not everyone has the same way of experiencing fandom so i get that’s it’s more annoying to some

[bloodxbat]

Oh please don't think I brought his age up because I was like "why is he still there??" In this day and age most of the time it is cheaper to stay with partners and save for a deposit. That also doesn't go into health issues and stuff. I'm sorry to hear that he does suffer such things.

Overbearing parents for an ill child is sadly very common. It isn't a justifying reason to overstep someone's boundaries.

You should not "just deal with it." As I stated in the other message, you might want to have a private conversation or dare I say, actually want to be active with him. That just isn't feasible with the knowledge that his parents might be listening in. That's just so many different levels of fucking weird and invasive. Nobody should have to settle for that.

I really am sorry that you both have to experience this. Is his folks okay enough for him to maybe have a word with them and explain his side or would they be the type to jump to the defensive?

Oh no sorry i wasn’t thinking you i was just saying in general people tend to make that assumption of why isnt he just living himself bc of his age sorry darling didnt mean you :)

Yeah i can get where the ”protectiveness” of them is coming from he’s fine now with his condition coz hes had surgery and stuff he just has limits and stuff if yknow what i mean

There’s even more fucked up stuff his parents do including his benefit money which enrages me but yknow i have no power over it, but his parents really arent nice people deep down like to me theyre nice but ive heard them and how unreasonable they are and moany they are with the littlest thing like what time he gets the train to see me 😐

I just feel like idk i’m being controlling because im only his girlfriend and theyre his family and thats his life and has been his life forever before I came along

He’s tried talking to his parents about it numerous times and the get defensive like ’how dare you tell us what to and not to do regarding our own son and house’ they really are dickheads

[canaryatlaw]

OKAY so today was a lot of course. I had my alarm set for fucking 3:45 am but OF COURSE kitty decided to jump on me at precisely 3:31 am and I was like really kitty?? really???? that she proceeded to bite things while I tried to lay down for ten more minutes until I just kicked her out of the room, then sorrowfully dragged my ass out of bed when my alarm went off. Didn’t have to do much to get ready of course so I was good to go by 4, went on uber and put the first stop as Jess’ place so we could pick her up then to the airport, and so we did. the airport was fairly chill lol nobody all that awake since it was like 4:45 am. we needed caffeine so we did a fairly ridiculous starbucks order (and by that I mean I goaded Jess into ordering a soy chai with two espresso shots which they then made as a soy chai with three espresso shots and I was so thrilled with myself) then walked down to the gate. We waited like 20 minutes or so till we started boarding. Jess SOMEHOW managed to get upgraded to “comfort plus” which is coach but slightly less shitty, so she got to be like 3 rows ahead of me while I was in coach with the commoners. Apparently they gave her bananas and several snack choices, whereas when they handed me a cranberry almond breakfast bar and I was like “do you have anything that doesn’t have nuts in it?” they were like “no” which made me want to pretend I was allergic to nuts and write to delta complaining about this. but during the actual plane ride I spent most of it reading the complaint I got yesterday about the torts issues I forget if I talked about this or not?? I’ll get to it at some point lol. I got sorta sleepy at the end and was kinda fading in and out of sleep when we landed. Upon landing we found my bag rather easily, then went on a wild goose chase trying to find where you can get to the ubers, then was like oh fuck that’s a really expensive uber but guess we don’t really have any other choice??? so we took our really expensive uber over through manhattan to where our airbnb is in “West New York” New Jersey, because staying in Manhattan is like upwards of $250 per night and that’s not happening. so we’re in a bedroom of an apartment which is fine. we got changed and then took another uber over to where NYCC actually is, which got caught in traffic around like construction getting out of new jersey and took forever. but THEN we got to the con center. it’s huge, of course. Oh, we’re cosplaying Gary and Ava, last minute change from our Riverdale plans because Jess wanted to be able to carry her Beebo around all day and I hear that was a massive hit. So she got a signing with the Titans cast at like 1:15, so we walked around a bit and then I went to get food because I hadn’t eaten since 5 am starbucks because I wasn’t seated on the nice section of the plane, so I went out to the food trucks and waited in a very long line for some second rate mac and cheese from a food truck (I was disappointed) while Jess got to go to her lovely signing. then I ate the food, then I went to the bathroom which also had a long line and tried to make the wig that I hate look semi-decent and idk if it worked, but then Jess was done so I tried to guide her to where I was and just ended up going to find her anyway. Once we were reunited we went through the show floor for a while, then the artist alley, and this was about the point where Facebook informed me they reached a verdict in the Laquan McDonald murder trial for former Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke. Imma go off on a bit of a thing here, but like, you cannot underestimate how much this case has effected the public to police relations in Chicago. Basically, short story, a white cop shot and killed a black teenager (who happened to be a foster child, which I know because people I worked with knew him) when there are like 7 other cops on the scene and right away goes on the record saying Laquan lunged at him with a knife so he had to shoot him in self-defense, and the other cops on the scene all backed up his story. Case closed, right? It would’ve been if a certain dashboard camera hadn’t surfaced with the entire incident on video with Laquan walking AWAY from Van Dyke and Van Dyke just shooting him in cold blood, and every. single. officer. on the scene lied to protect him. like, if that isn’t a gigantic message to minority communities that they can't trust the police, idk what is. But that was 2014, it took them a full year to release the video and finally bring charges, and up till now that they actually tried him. I’ve been following the trial fairly closely thanks to a podcast called 16 Shots (oh yeah, did I forget to mention that Van Dyke put 16 bullets in this 17 year old foster child?) which had been recapping the court coverage every day. At first hearing the jury had a verdict after about a day and a half of deliberation, I felt kinda worried because it felt to me like it would take more than that to convict a cop of first degree murder. the outcome though was one I was halfway expecting, they convicted him of second degree murder, which is known as a lesser-included offense, meaning it’s something the jury can decide on if they don’t feel like the full charge is warranted but he’s not innocent either. second degree murder in this case is following the imperfect self-defense rule, which is when a person believes that they need to kill the other person in self-defense, but that belief was unreasonable (whereas a reasonable belief would potentially get you acquitted). So I wasn’t terribly shocked when the verdict came back with that. The interesting part for me at least ended up being that they convicted him of 16 counts of aggravated battery (one for each shot) and that has sparked some conversations among law students/lawyers on my page as to whether those sentences would run consecutively or concurrently, because if it’s the former he may very well die in prison, being as the mandatory minimum on the charge is 6 years (which would place him at a total of 96 years, on top of the murder sentence) so we’ll have to see how sentencing plays out. but of course they immediately revoked his bail and he’s sitting in prison tonight, the first of many nights to come, and that is at least some justice to what has been such a divisive incident, even when I personally feel like there were enough aspects of premeditation (such as before he got to the scene hearing what the cops were saying and remarking “I guess we have to shoot him then”) to warrant first degree murder. but anyway, back to con world. we walked through artist alley for a bit and then ended up meeting up with a new friend who is gonna be one of the co-hosts with Jess and I on the upcoming Batwoman podcast, so we just sat and chilled for a while to talk and get to know each other and it went really well! So I’m definitely looking forward to that adventure. After that we wandered the show floor some more until it was 4:30 and I could line up for my funko buying slot. they have a lottery to be able to purchase any of the NYCC exclusive funko pops, and if you get a slot you can purchase them but only one of each type. At first the booth was kinda a mess and there was like a huge people traffic jam but I waded through it and found the actual line. I ended up talking to this kid behind me who was from Scotland who was pretty nice (I say kid because I was like “you’re a baby right?” and he was like “well I’m about to turn 21″ and I was like “yeah that’s what I thought” 😂😂) but we just talked about the pops and the options and some of the shows, so that was nice. he ended up buying like 21 of them I think because he was bringing a bunch home to different friends. I ended up buying four, killer frost for a friend, the Supergirl one that I may or may not resell at some point, Aquaman just because I wanted him, and one of the characters from New Girl for Jess because the main character is named Jess and she has a friend (”friend”) with the characters name so she really wanted that. the line took a bit but once we got up to the counter they were super quick. they then proceeded to give me the biggest bag known to man, made out of those like reusable shopping bag material but like, maybe about 4 feet by 4 feet in height and length? it’s fucking huge lol. but after that I met back up with Jess and we headed out, ended up taking the subway one stop up to times square just because we weren’t sure if the neighborhoods we would have to walk through if we did walk would be safe. Once we got there we needed food so I suggested Juniors because I always end up there and they haven’t let me down once. I of course got my favorite matzo ball soup and a potato pancake, and it was lovely as always. After we finished dinner we walked up to where the theatre was and got in line for the very first preview of King Kong, the broadway musical. We had seen the theatre marquee for it back in July when we saw mean girls (which was right around the corner) and Jess really wanted to see it, and it just so happened to start while we were already gonna be in NY so clearly that was fate. So we lined up, the opened the theatre a little earlier than usual so we got to our seats and waited for a bit. Now of course, as an actor and someone with a degree in Theatre, I automatically analyze just about every element of a show, whether I’m trying to or not. I basically expected it to be a dumpster fire, and there were definitely some cringeworthy moments, but they were fewer than I expected. I of course expected the technical elements to be phenomenal and absolutely groundbreaking as far as broadway goes because this has definitely never been done up till this point and they absolutely nailed every element of the technical side of things. Sadly what was lacking was what would classify as the heart and soul of any broadway musical- the book and the score. It reminded me a lot of Spider-Man: TOTD in that they invested heavily in technical elements but lacked in actual story and musical quality. I will say, the lead woman absolutely carried the show, and she was fucking phenomenal, so I will definitely give her credit for that. Now I haven’t actually seen the old movie from he 30′s that this was based on so I can’t say for sure, but I don’t believe the character of Ann Darrow was originally a POC, so I liked that they went in that direction. but as far as music goes, I can recall like, maybe a few words and a few stanzas of music, but the rest of it was very forgettable. again, though, the technical elements were absolutely phenomenal. So they definitely get credit for that. I couldn't help but thinking man, they’re gonna sweep on those technical effects Tonys they never actually air on tv 😂😂😂. I feel like the appeal is very similar to spider-man as well, and their main patrons are gonna be tourists, which I mean is a fairly good model to work off in NYC, so I predict it’ll run for a few years then quietly disappear, and not many will miss it. so when it was over we got an uber back to our airbnb, showered and got ready for bed and now I’m here and OY am I tired as I’m sure you could assume from the beginning of this post, but consider this me signing off for now. Goodnight loves. Happy weekend.