#idk what I'm looking at but it's rly cool

[drewsaturday]

i don't judge bc u do u, but i do wonder sometimes how actors would feel if you introduced them to the concept of kinning. like this person thinks they had your face and voice in their past life. do you think you were paid enough while working on this project to comprehend that. the microphone is taken from my hand and i am forcibly removed from the convention room.

[cinna-bunnie]

lmaoo not me on vacation missing my manager 😩 she's a real cup of sunshine omg.. i can Feel when we haven't had our one on one in a sec bc I'll miss talking to her and won't be as energetic bc i haven't had my fill for the week ૮ – ﻌ–ა ♡⁠ we work in different offices but it's really really nice getting to see each other in person sometimes too bc she's so so pretty and rly fun and sweet and gives incredible hugs 😔💕🥰

we always end up hanging out n talking way longer than we need to, last time she was like omg yeah let me hurry up n finish so u can do ur thing and i was like listen.. i am never rushing u i love having ur company u are always welcome to stay as long as u want i can just work right here ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა take ur time ♡⁠

[hiraganasakura]

I want everyone to know that I am absolutely losing my mind over the announcement of Octopath Traveler II

LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AND OHHHH MY GOD!!! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!

The first one is one of my favorite games ever, the hype is unreal, I have not been able to stop thinking about this since I watched the trailer yesterday, I was squealing the entire time watching it too

I'm normal I'm normal I'm so so normal [LYING]

[donuts4evry1]

Absolutely in love with the concept of Jellyfish dating sim!!!!!!!!!! .0. !!

If you ever need anything like assets, bgs, or someone to bounce ideas off of, I would absolutely LOVE to be a part of it and lend you whatever helping hands you might want ^u^

Of course you don't have to take me up on the offer, I know that you're fully capable on your own. I'm so excited about the concept though!!!!!!! I hope that this goes somewhere, whether that somewhere ends up being an actual finished game, or not. If it's just a more developing of this base idea, I'm excited to see it unfold. It's a great idea, that carries potential that I'm mad hype to exolore

AHH Thank you so much for your kind words ;w;!!!

I'll be sure to keep that in mind as well :). Maybe once I start stitching together code I'll make a discord server for the game so people can bounce off ideas (and also for possible beta testers... 👀👀?), and also be more uniform when helping me find assets

I don't have many solid ideas on what this game is going to be about, but I do know that it's probably going to be one of my most ambitious undertakings yet, so it'll be exciting ^v^!!

[ravenwolfie97]

suddenly hit with the idea to update my sona but only in the event that the new design makes its debut as a vtuber

idk if that’s a good idea or if my brain has just succame to the vtuber rot but. it sure is one

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[datcravat]

HI HELLO I love your art So much,,, do you have any tutorials on how you render your stuff? For example, the colors you use & how you pick them, how you get that pink tone around the Lineart (I think) (it's just rly cool). I would love to see stuff like that, cuz your art is Such visual candy (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Hey! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my art, I worked hard to make it what it is!! Means a lot you appreciate it!!!!!!

I've had no professional art training, I seriously don't know what I'm doing and struggle making tutorials. But will try here!!

For me the colour work is really situational on the drawing! I find myself experimentally attempting to weaponize colour theory and there's a lot of instinct involved that I can't figure out how to verbalise yet. Here's an example of some thought process I have:

My main advice is to play with sliders a lot and really experiment (that's what I do for every drawing)!

To get the pink glow around your lineart, copy your lineart layer, fill the copy in with a pink of your choice (sometimes I do a gradient), blur the layer (experiment with how much blur you'd like), put it directly below the lineart layer, and set the layer to multiply (or any mode you think looks pretty)!

You may want to adjust your piece's brightness/colours after applying it and sharpen the image after exporting.

A lot of colour gradients are involved and on their own they can eventually compromise the gritty/punchy style, especially the ones that are between extreme and subtle. A good way to combat this is with screentones/haftones!! You can use them to diversify colours and imply shading/texture.

I recommend going nuts and having a lot of fun with it to find what works for you!

I often add a lot of small lens flares as they satisfyingly cut through the piece, imply flash photography (which goes well with the strong black shading), add visual noise to areas you don't want to be your main point of focus, are a great way to show speculars, and idk man sparkles are just pretty haha.

Go nuts with them and have fun!! When you get them to look good, think to yourself why that is.

I made a tutorial ~1 year ago on how I shade with black. This simple trick will really help it look good, 3D and rendered - it just requires a lot of knowledge about shadows to start with. I have a lot of experience rendering "normally" which helped me learn how to use black in an experimental way.

Minor correction that the shadows labelled "ambient occlusion" in the tutorial are actually just normal shadows, ambient occlusion is total lack of light.

I hope this is useful to you!! You have a knack for art, your work is very inspired. Please keep drawing!! I am still learning too, let's keep going baby.

-Cravat x

[welldrawnfish]

How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

[moons-of-dewclan]

ON SHARING OTHER CLANGEN COMICS

I'LL ALWAYS KEEP DOING IT but i wanted to say a thing that i've been thinking of recently! I'VE SOMETIMES HAD A LULL IN SOCIAL ACTIVITy which keeps me from looking at other peoples' things for a while. and so i have trouble sharing bc i wanna like. actually respectfully look at their art and genuinely have something to think or say about it and not just pull something out of my brain for the sake of 'here u go idk haha look at it' BUT SOMETIMES I GO TO LOOK AT CLANGENS PEOPLE SHARED THAT I HAVEN'T SHARED YET, AND I NOTICED THEY DIDN'T POST ANYTHING ELSE AFTER SHARING :( and i get worried that they didn't continue bc i didn't share it yet?! and they feel discouraged?!??! but i definitely don't want anyone to feel like bc i didn't show, they should be discouraged. MAYBE IT ISN'T THE CASE AT ALL AND I'M JUST WORRIED BUT IN CASE IT IS. PLEASE DON'T BEEE... (discouraged) and THEN ALSO i often hesitate to show comics that aren't updating bc i want to direct people towards a project someone is enthusiastically working on so they can encourage them to keep having fun doing what they want, and not like send a bunch of people to be like 'ARE YOU CONTINUING THIS?? WHERE IS IT' and make them feel pressured IT'S A FINE BALANCE AWOAOAAA if i had this following on my non clangen blog i'd just plug everyone's current creative fixation but i don't wanna inundate clangen-readers with other media u knowmsayin imma pop off rq for y'all, get 10k followers and boost u ok gimme like a month i'll think of something rly cool

[spearxwind]

Hi! I found a very cool fish photo and wanted to share! It is freshwater so idk if u know what it is but I sure don’t 😂 so was wondering if u maybe knew plus it looks awesome regardless so here have feesh

Yee I'm not super familiar with freshwater fish but I'm pretty sure that's a giant snakehead! They're really cool and there's a lot of insanely cool pictures of them :3 (though most of them are as trophies since people fish them a lot)

Here's more pics of some rly pretty ones I have saved

(the last one Im pretty sure has the saturation cranked up insanely high, but its a really cool look nontheless)

[bestbouy]

i think i just love the idea of the different universes with their like, styles???

like how Gwen's is totally watercolor and Hobie's is all scrapbookish punk n newspaper, y'know???? and, of course, Miles and Pavitr's are both more "normal" but they still have that... you know... v i b e... they're both normal but they have elements that make it their own. Like how Pavitr's universe is mainly super warm colors?

anyways this got me thinking y'know how it's super obvious Hobie has a different universe style?? not so much for Gwen because hers is a little different, but with the whole. changing skin, the OUTLINE, it's very obvious

I think it'd be super cool if in Hobie's universe, it's kind of like the opposite for anybody who's not from it? They have their own like, radius of... their own dimension???

I'm only comparing this to Hobie's dimension, it's very obvious none of this would happen in CANON so I'm literally just spitballing. Also because Hobie is the only one with the outline and funny overlay thing, and it'd be fun to play around with the other three's possible like,,, vibe!!

Gwen would leave like, imprints of watercolor? like dabbing it on a piece of paper, leaving color that dries out back to normal over time?? it would bleed into the world around her, it might even mimic her emotions with the color!

If she was upset it would be harsh, spread more, it would come out in spiked reds and blacks?

happy would seep in a lot more subtly, and cover a lot more space, but you wouldn't realize how much room it's taking up just because it's so slow to take it up and really is only at about.. idk, 20% opacity, slowly builds up the happier she gets? it would be more visible in puddles, just like with normal watercolor (Compared to anger, which would be very in-your-face and obvious)

It would rely a lot on her emotions, methinks, the stronger they are, the more visible the color!

Miles would have a sketchy, drawing-like atmosphere to him, kind of like what you can see on the spot y'know? and, since the spot came from Miles' dimension, I think it makes sense!

It would be less noticeable, but the things he interacts with would probably turn into a slightly stylized version of itself? A cup he holds or drinks from wouldn't change DRAMATICALLY, but it might copy his look and have sketch-like lines around it. Nothing huge, but enough that you can tell what he's touched in the past few minutes/hours

Pavitr would have a similar vibe to Gwen's, but with warm colors instead! His effect wouldn't change with emotions like hers, but it would probably bleed in the same way as hers. He would leave behind trails of warm oranges and yellows wherever he goes and leaving it behind on what he touches. He wouldn't notice this, but it would be veeery obvious to Hobie or anybody from his dimension.

Actually, I think the way that we can spot Hobie because of his differences in outline/radius effect would highly apply to them in his dimension! Everybody in Hobie's world can CLEARLY tell that Gwen, Miles and Pav aren't from there, and while the common person might not recognize they're from another universe, they might get the same feeling as if you were seeing like.. a skinwalker, or something. They're human, but it doesn't feel like it.

ANYWAYS back to Pavitr

He has a warm, cozy vibe, I think unlike the others his can seep more into emotions, I think he's an empathetic person and that melts into his little area effect. if he's super happy or excited about something the people around him get a tiny bit happier too!! when he's sad (and it's rly hard to make him sad bc this boy is POSITIVE THINKER #1) his colors get a bit colder, but I don't think they would affect other people like his happy ones do, honestly just SEEING such a normally happy guy so sad would do enough to ur mood than some radius effect lol

ANYWAYS that's just a lil thought. they are silly. and this is going into my ideas folder. have a good one n remember to drink water

(I would go on but this is super long already XD)

[shepscapades]

Just have to say your music taste is immaculate and your Spotify playlists have been getting me through my commutes ( and the Doc DBHC one get me through my workouts)

When picking the songs, are you just adding ones you already like that go with the vibe or do you find new ones when making the playlists?

WAU THANK YOUUU!! <3 Honestly, I found myself putting one of the dbhc playlists on out of nowhere and what a huge freaking mistake let me tell you, its like all at once the full force of brainrot hits me. like what, did i think i wasn't gonna be affected by all of the emotions that go with these songs? the heck did I think was gonna happen what a FOOL LDKFJDFG

But seriously, thank you!! I feel like i can be kinda picky with my music and don't often branch out to music reqs unless i'm like ~feeling~ it so i'm rly happy you like the music i pick!! :>

When it comes to picking songs specifically for dbhc characters, (i think i may have mentioned this somewhere else? i dont know what i have or havent said tbh my memory is so bad) -- and honestly, i do this with pretty much all of my character playlists i think-- i usually only pick songs that coincide directly with a moment, emotion, or event from that character's timeline! Which can be hard if i'm looking for songs to represent specific events, especially if I want to represent that event specifically from the character's perspective (meaning the vibes or lyrics need to be pretty spot on) but it's also cool bc it helps me sort the playlists chronologically while also inspiring how certain details of each event may go down... idk!! I had no plans to make dbhc etho go Wacko Crazy until I actually listened to the song Destruction and was like 'oooh this song sounds like one of the androids going crazy, almost like they didn't get booted up right-- oh... oh. oh. oh no.'

LMAO so its kinda weird! Not so much a vibe, and moreso like putting a puzzle together of songs that represent the entire narrative of each character! Sometimes there are songs i haven't put anywhere that i know will slot in, but most of the time its me listening to new music and a lyric or vibe will remind me of one character or moment and then i just start spiraling /silly

this is a bit of a ramble, but hopefully that makes sense! Idk man my mind is an enigma and before I know it i'm like listening to a character's entire narrative in musical-form in my head driving to and from work everyday

[luvtsumu]

it feels like it's just us

suna x gn!reader, implied uni!AU, fluff :-D, not rly established relationship but there's smth going on??? idk LOL i just wanted to write this kind of feeling????

_

everyone is finally asleep in the living room, loud snoring having filled the room after a long day of exploring kyoto. one would think that you get up and head to the front door to get some sort of relief from the constant rumbling that the guys' (namely bokuto and atsumu) snoring creates; however, you step outside just to have a moment to yourself and to breathe in the cool air.

it only gets this cool during the night time, and you cherish the stillness of the world that comes with it. nobody else is outside but you... and perhaps the bugs that want nothing more than to be one with the street lamps.

seated at the front steps of the airbnb you and your group rented, you're bundled up in one of suna's hoodies and wearing the first pair of crocs you saw (by the jibbitz, you're sure they belong to hinata). your thoughts still as the cool air and cool tones of the night ease your body to the ground.

you let out a long, needed sigh.

"...you alright?"

you chuckle almost immediately as you hear the voice. your moment of alone time didn't last long, of course; though, you suppose it's alright if it's because of suna.

your head turns and you give him a smile, eyes squinting up slightly as you watch him make his way towards you. he has his hoodie only halfway on, still needing to be tugged down which he never does. he sits himself down beside you, nudging you over as his wider body needs more space to occupy with you having sat yourself in the middle of the front steps.

he sits close though, making sure your knees touch.

"can't sleep?" he speaks again, "you don't have to sleep in the living room with all of us. bokuto'll be fine if he wakes up and realizes you wanted peace and quiet."

you laugh softly. "no, it's nothing like that."

there's a moment of silence as you smile at suna. he carefully takes in your expression and the two of you seemingly take a while to admire one another's features under the moonlight--street lights, really.

you continue when you turn away, feeling a bit of heat rising to your face. "midnight and... i don't know? 1 am? 2 am? it's of my favourite times of the day..."

suna's brows raise. his eyes remain on your face as you let your eyes wander along the street your airbnb is placed. you take in the stone walls, the electrical lines, the lack of lights from the neighbouring homes, and the sounds of the night. he decides to do the same.

"why?" he asks, "wouldn't you rather sleep?"

you laugh. "well, during the winter, yeah. but it feels nice during the summer. the world feels still and you--or at least, i--can really feel the time."

suna's head tilts as he returns his attention to you, and you look towards him with a small smile. "are you always this poetic during graveyard shift hours?"

you playfully roll your eyes and turn away from him, once again letting your eyes wander. he joins you, and the two of you bask in one another's presence as the world stills.

"feels like it's just us," suna whispers, following the cracks on the concrete of the pathway to the airbnb. he realizes what you meant by being able to feel the time. "and the fucking cicadas. those bitches never sleep."

"yep," you chuckle, "they serve as white noise. let's ya think, huh?"

suna shrugs. he wasn't thinking of anything at all during the silence between you two.

"what does it let you think?" he asks softly.

you shrug. "that... i guess that it's nice that i'm here." you let the cool air and cicadas surround you and suna once again only for a moment. "that you and i are here."

suna smiles. "you mean as innnn you like that it's me here and not, i don't know, one of the miyas? oorrr like that we're all in kyoto and that the break from university is nice? ooorr--"

"that you're here with me, rin," you interrupt with a small laugh. your tone is teasing which satisfies suna.

suna tries to hide his smile by turning his head away from you; though you can hear it in his voice as he speaks. "yeah? so if osamu came out here, you'd probably be wishing it was me, huh?"

you roll your eyes. "yes," you say, not bothering to disagree.

suna giggles. he doesn’t turn his head as he continues on. "you sure must like me, huh? considering you kept walking beside me during our hike and now you're telling me you want me here with you to listen to the cicadas sing harmonies and feel the cool breeze of the summer night." when he turns to face you, you don't notice the blush on his cheeks--it's much too obvious in his voice and smile anyway despite him trying to sound teasing. "how romantic of you, i'm touched."

you scoff and turn away with a small smile. "yeah? well, if you ask me, it seems like you're the one with the crush on me, considering you followed me out here and sat so close, probably wanting to bask in my body heat or something like the weirdo you are. and, if i remember correctly, back in the car, weren't you the one who refused hinata lending you his neck pillow because you want him to be comfortable? but you so obviously tried your hardest to find a comfortable spot just to put your head on my shoulder?" you snicker. "how romantic of you."

this time suna laughs. it's more embarrassing when you say it, but he can't be bothered. so what if he's smitten? he giggles and bumps his shoulder against yours which starts a gentle bumping between the both of you.

it's silent again and the words you two spoke playfully lingers in the night. they're gentle words, maybe even shy and uncertain, but they're meaningful. there's an innocence to them that the night cherishes, knowing that moments like this is what it's made for.

"so how long are we staying out here anyway?" he asks, finally wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer. he holds onto the hem of the hoodie you're wearing just to feel even closer.

you laugh. "just a couple more minutes," you say, scooting closer to suna. he lets you get comfortable and tries to mould your body against his in a way that gets you to lay your head on his shoulder. he does this just so he can lay his head on top of yours, craving the closeness as he could never get enough. "unless you wanna go now?"

he lets out a content sigh and closes his eyes. "well, honestly, it doesn't matter. the cicadas are growing on me."

[royallygray]

Scar HC S10E12

actually welcome to Scar Says Sus Stuff

this was supposed to be me talking about my favorite parts or parts I want to share but it's just the sus parts and several things that I specifically liked

like. a rly in depth AO3 comment except with a YouTube video.

spoilers for his video

(I haven't watched most of scar's episodes so far)

-- --

1:01 "grant me access to the hole" scar. scar please. your wording. fix it. but also never change we love you but oh my god SCAR

it is actually triggering me that he's just casually on three hearts. my man PLEASE EAT

3:53 "I'm gonna wait for [Grian] inside of his mouth"

5:38 "well now Skizz and my bits are all mixed together"

6:06 "I fall for it EVERY time, by the way" -Skizz. I love Scar and Skizz, the two gullible-est people bonding over how they're gullible. It's genuinely somehow wholesome.

6:20 "something of substance was gonna come from this"

6:44 SKIZZ COME ON MAN I HAD FAITH IN YOU WHAT THE HECK

6:51 There was PASSION in this. Scar go off on them YEAH

7:33 how did I know he was gonna be one block off. rip scar you tried o7

7:40 "he didn't get inside my hole at all" SCAR.

8:17 "we could get six horns" the word horns sounds like hoards. and also kind of the other word.

8:39 (for one frame) the inside of scars face is cursed

10:17 THAT WAS SMOOTH THAT WAS SO SMOOTH IM OBSESSED??? SCAR YOURE A MAGICIAN. A WIZARD. THAT SNAP. IM OBSESSED.

but also. scar. why do you have a tnt minecart as decoration. scar I don't have high hopes for this room. scar you come from the Life series. scar. it's gonna die. someone's gonna shoot it with a flame bow I guarantee it

10:46 LMAO the way he tried to say cartographer sounds so. like. idk endearing or smth idk. Like he tried to breathe in and talk at the same time.

11:05 "I've just realized I kind of look like a composter" that is the entire clip by the way. all you out of context makers, I need that in there. idk if it'll be as funny as it is in here, because seriously, the delivery of having literally no other context other than it just being a random thought that popped into Scar's head is so funny to me

11:41 scar at the goat horn shop what will he do. I'm not mad scar. I think you're an adult who is making decisions with their fictional money. and you deserve it. you deserve that goat horn.

11:52 I lied put it back

12:44 WAIT YOURE GONNA PUT TURTLES AND DOLPHINS IN HERE THATS SICK I LOVE IT

in seventh grade we did an essay on whether zoos are good or bad and while I do love scars character in this I literally cannot stop thinking about it :(

13:15 SCAR THAT WAS TOO SMOOTH I--OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THATS SUCH A COOL TRANSITION AND ALSO THE SOUND EFFECT OH MY GODSSSSS

ALSO YOU SWIRLED TO SUCH A COOL NEW THING WHAT THE HECK WOW LIKE OKAY

wait oh my god it's a sink?? the water and lava?? oh my god??

14:55 damn Gem and Grian's spike has grown

15:35 scar I don't think you remember where your stuff is in the first place. at least like this it'll look cool. although the underground weird chest monster has character and I actually kinda like it in the same way that I like when my floor is a mess because it just feels inhabited and has personality

15:58 oh my god scar you transition god

16:33 scar why are you there

16:35 Etho I appreciate you LMAO

17:19 Etho have you seen Skizz's storage. it's. bad. like. it is worse than Scar's. Genuinely. It gives me pain.

17:25 THE PEARL DOORS. THE BOATEM PEARL DOORRSSSS also scar going through the middle even tho Etho literally opened the other door for him LMAO

17:32 ah yes dig when there is an entrance yes yes

17:43 honey roofs. I see you're obsessed with Joel's gift mr. slab.

this scene is actually amazing. I've never seen Etho and scar interact 1 on 1 (I don't watch a lot of Scar, and I have watched Etho a total of approximately once. his videos are rly long) and also just. Etho's system is so cool.

also Etho's storage system is adorable :D

I like both storage systems. Etho's is significantly more functional (and less likely to explode, scar that minecart is making me wary) but I really enjoy the aesthetic of Scar's.

thank you for coming to Royal says stuff, go watch scar's video, it's great.

[louscartridge]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Hannah bahng x fem reader

Cw- angst if you squint, kissing (nothing suggestive), reader and hannah say 'ily', reader calls hannah 'love' and 'baby' once. Not rly much at all tbh, just fluff <3.

Summary- hannah doesn't want anyone to hear her song until it's out, including you, and you just can't leave hannah alone about it when you're supposed to be sleeping.

a/n- someone please send rhis to her on twt or something 💀. I wrote this the day hannah announced her song but I just haven't posted it until now. Idk why 😭 also some of this was written on a phone and some was written on a computer so sorry if it looks weird.

God do you love Hannah. You love everything about her. Literally. Especially the small things. Details, stuff that any other person wouldn't notice about her.

Physical things, mental things, emotional things.

You obviously love the things about her that the average person crossing her on the street would notice about her too,, But there's just something about being so close to her, knowing things about her that no one else does. Being able to notice things about her that no one else does. Being able to notice things about her, without her even telling you things. You love knowing that you will always know her more than anyone, no matter what.

She's so cute. the way her eyes and cheeks puff slightly when she laughs or smiles real hard, the way she side eyes you when she sees you hanging out with Chan or berry over her, the sarcasm that you guys share, even if over the smallest of things. and while she claims to be the mean sibling, she swears she's the nicest girlfriend. You could confirm both of those. However, it then makes you sound like you're a mean girlfriend. It's not that you're mean per say, you just aren't good with your feelings and Hannah's always been better at expressing them to you then you are to her, or anyone, for that matter. If anything, Hannah's the easiest person for you to express your feelings to.

You're also insanely proud of her. Proud of her for everything. She dyes her hair? "oh my god, it looks so good baby!! Good job." she makes food? "oh my god, this is so good. Good job, for real"

You were especially proud of her music skills.

Shes pretty humble about it, which is cool, but sometimes you just want everyone to know how actually talented your girlfriend really is. Scream it. Scream it together.

However, you haven't heard her official, original, one and only, debut song yet.

Of course you've heard her sing other songs and play the guitar, piano, and what not. between her YouTube covers and what she does for you, you'd argue that you hear her music abilities more than anyone.

But you haven't heard this one.

None of it. Not the lyrics, not the instrumentals, nothing.

At first you were kinda upset that she won't let you hear it, but you respect her boundaries. Plus, knowing that Chan hasn't even heard it yet either made you feel better.

She's told you that it's nothing personal, especially with you. she just doesn't want anyone to hear it until it's put out. And anyone just so happened to include you and her brother. Plus, she valued yours and chans opinion greatly. She figured that if either you or Chan didn't like her song somehow or something, that she wouldn't go through with releasing it. Which she really didn't want to do, considering how long she's spent on making just this one song.

Once she knew when it was going to be released, she told you when right away. You and Chan were the first to know that, along with her parents. Or maybe she would make you wait, let you see the timer she posted on her Instagram story, and watch you go insane. Until then though, you would be the most impatient little fucker ever.

It's was now around the time you and Hannah usually end up falling asleep during a move or something, but tonight you just would not leave Hannah alone.

"I'm actually so exited. I'm not even trying to be funny, but I don't think I can wait like a month." you said, laying next to Hannah on her bed.

She was laying on her side, facing away from you, and you were laying next to her on your back. The two of you originally started out with spooning, but you soon got relentless and started moving, which ended up changing your original position.

"well your gonna have to." Hannah sighed.

You sat up so you were now leaning back on the headboard and looked over Hannah's shoulder. You can see a slight smirk on her face, but you can also tell she was slightly annoyed.

"yeah but like what if I CAN'T."

"you will. You'll be with me for the whole time, and we're going to a concert soon. Time will go by fast." she tries to convince you.

You bring your finger up motioning as you speak. "yeah, OK, but you see-you say that, but really-"

"oh my god" Hannah groans, knowing that you would just keeps going on and on in continuous circles. you frown and her words and tone of voice, upset at yourself for making her annoyed, especially when she's trying to sleep, and you feel bad for your obnoxious behavior.

she turns her body around so she’s facing you and leans up so she can kiss your lips. “Shut up” another kiss. “and go to sleep” another kiss.

Your mood quickly goes up again just from feeling the touch of her soft lips against yours, and the fact that her voice has softened again. Her voice is teasing and you can tell she's slightly annoyed still, but she's more in awe of you then annoyed.

Hannah scoots back down into the bed and clings onto your leg and your waist/hips.

Hannah looks up at you and says “Goodnight. I love you” with a smile on her face, teeth showing slightly and the underneath of her eyes get slightly puffy as she smiles at you. Because of you.

you look down to her and reciprocate her smile and words back to her. “Goodnight. I love you, and I’m beyond proud of you.”

Although it's dim in her bedroom, you can see from the slight light that Hannah blushes at your words. “I try my best to make you proud.”

“hannah, you don’t even have to try.” “I’m beyond proud to be able to call you mine too”

Hannah’s blush gets more intense in response to your statement. “Always love.”

Reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[rosemarytrash]

me drama posting cuz i actually had a really good experience today but it was rly nerve wracking lmao

in case some of you didn't know, i currently live in montana!! it's a nice enough state for its nature and the like, but politically it's kind of a shit show. pros and cons y'know, but as a trans guy it's fairly lame. also, bcuz geography is important, i live in eastern montana, not on the cool western side where all the mountain queers go hang out. that's generalizing a lot but it is what it is so bare with

anyway, back in 2021 there was a bill passed (SB 280) that effectively made it impossible for trans people to change their gender marker on their birth certificate or other identifying documents without having a sex change surgery, while at the same time writing in that no surgery exists to change your sex on a chromosomal level or any of that bullshit. whereas before that bill was passed, montana law was a little more loosey goosey about it. mainly in that it didn't yet have a republican legislature hyperfixated on a culture war to drum up support so trans people weren't really IDENTIFIED by the law, which was ironically kind of easier to navigate. idk, shit weird, i'm no expert

anyway, tbh, i never really CARED about changing my gender marker. i changed my name legally back when i was like 15 or 16 and i believe, at that time, i had the option to simultaneously change my gender marker. for whatever reason, i decided not to. i think it had something to do with healthcare and trying not to fuck up the future possibility of getting on T, which didn't happen for another year for me. i've also always been fairly loose about my gender identity in terms of a full identification with maleness/manhood. like, i'm a guy, i'm a dude, don't call me anything except that, but on a deeply personal level i see myself a little more in between on that kind of scale. maybe something inherently non-binary but no label has ever quite fit the bill, so trans guy with an asterisk will have to do. anyway!!! i don't really recall why i made that call, but i had, and it truthfully never really got me into any trouble. for all the times i later had to flash my ID, even to this date, i can only really recall one time where a gas station clerk gave me a weird look and said "sir... ma'am... sir-ma'am... here ya go" when i was buying cigarettes lmao. i was never questioned about it by employers and as far as i know was never turned away from a job because of it (which is good because montana doesn't have employment protections for trans people (last i checked)). so i truthfully spent a good 7 or so years relatively unbothered by this fact or by the fact that i had an F on my driver's license. it was inconsequential to me

recently though with republicans doing more and more lines of anti-LGBTQ cocaine and more people becoming aware of trans people, it's been unsettling here. y'know just mildly discomforting. and mentally that is fatiguing. i've also only now encountered some bureaucratic bullshit that's like okay, wow, this is actually going to be a bigger problem in the future and i'm not wanting to deal with that. mainly in the form of i'm getting married here soon, we want to try and do some kind of honeymoon adventure in the distant future, so for that i need an passport and from what i've read that can be a real fucking headache for trans people and it can be even harder to change in the future. so like blugh. i'm also in the process of applying to grad school and it's just--kind of annoying to have to identify myself a certain way. it's weird cuz i won't pretend it's put me in some life-threatening situation or there's anything that feels DIRE about needing to change it, but it just feels like there'd be a lot less awkwardness and vulnerability if i did. ironically when montanans were less redpilled i didn't care about changing all my legal shit over, but now that your average grandpa here thinks of trans people as botched teenage girls or child predators in bathrooms and THAT's their reason for getting out of the house to go to the polls next year, well yeah now i give a shit about "deceiving" the system. idk it's dumb

anyway i actually KNOW the girl who is the plaintiff against the govt in the lawsuit against SB 280. she's really cool and it's cool that i know her. i ended up reaching out to her a few months back to ask how that was going and what it meant for changing your gender marker in MT. and fantastically i had found out that late 2022 the judge on the case had issued an order that forced the DPHHS to suspend its practice under SB 280 since it was a fundamentally unworkable law and to return to its original practice prior, which allowed trans people and frankly anyone else with good enough cause to change their gender marker without meeting some bullshit made up requirements by the state.

it then took me months to get the gumption to actually write, edit, and file a petition for it. which i finally did today, and it surprisingly all got done in an afternoon, even though hypothetically the courthouse at 1PM on a tuesday should've been fairly busy. i'll be interested to see how it goes, because just cuz it's filed doesn't mean anything is certain. to my knowledge, LEGALLY, it should be a done deal, i should get an order from the judge that will allow me to get a new birth certificate and a new driver's license and all that jazz. but what do i know? the judge may want to have a hearing about it, which could be incredibly awkward in a courtroom full of other people waiting to have their cases heard, but idfk. my fingers are crossed that it'll go okay.

and it was kind of a good experience? i was as anxious as one could imagine. i'm a bearded dude walking in with paperwork asking kindly for an F to become an M lol. and the gals at the courthouse were momentarily confused, raised a few brows, had to talk to someone to see what the current rulings were in that previously mentioned lawsuit, but they were nice enough about it. they got my shit filed, they took $120 from me rather apologetically cuz that's what shit costs to file a civil petition in the state district courts. i get to find out by email if the judge will just approve the order i drafted or if he's going to want to speak to me. and i'm hoping either of those things happen before the wedding so none of that paperwork becomes a headache.

anyway this is a long post cuz i have a lot of thoughts and either i ramble on and on to my fiancee about it or i just splurge on whatever few unfortunate souls decide to read this :) thx if you do. there's no point really to any of it yk just airing out some thoughts i guess. i'll go draw some gay shit now <3