#idk who the girl in the green shirt is but hello to her too!

[grilledcheese-aspiration]

still testing this lot and trying out some other reshade presets that are on the dreamier end of things. so far i REALLY like this one!

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (ii) - pt 1 here!!

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : matt is still a grumpy ass but y/n can't seem to get him off of her mind.

warnings : idk uhhh matt’s rude but in a love hate kinda way 😋! also alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!)

mickey speaks : shes finally hereeeee and shes kinda long. im hoping to post more consistently!! luv u guys enjoy <3 ignore the fact that the pic above has a yt girl in it this story is for everyone i promise !!!! i just liked the little green vibe ok? ok.

THIS IS PART TWO GO READ PART ONE FIRST DUH!!!!

AND of course you see matt again.

only a month ago, you were introduced and forced to spend an hour of your time in close proximity to him, no matter his disinterest. yet, also, only a month ago, were you gifted with the cutest tiny tattoo that continues to surprise you a little whenever you lift your shirt before a warm shower.

it hasn’t bothered you nearly as much as you'd assumed - only disrupting your life with the caution you now take to avoid irritating the skin at your lower stomach. though some nights you grow lazy, you’ve maintained a very disciplined attitude of incorporating time in your morning and nightly rituals to ensure the tiny hello kitty inked on you is properly cared for.

contrary, your interactions with matt bothered you far more than you assumed. your sub-concious must've held onto your attempts to break past his careless attitude (that greatly opposed your own people-pleasing nature) just to pettily haunt you. but you've you forced yourself to get over it at this point. you just had to after one night, the week following your tattoo appointment (and after a long day of rude professors and pretentious customers blaming you for their own mistakes), you broke down to andrea:

you sniffle before your voice breaks again, "everyone's just mean. and- and i was so fucking annoying last saturday. it keeps playing over in my head. i'm so embarrassed and i just know he hated me, but i dont know why?! i thought i was nice enough. he could've just smiled or maybe just- i-"

andrea pauses from petting your head, "honey, you're not still talking about the guy who tatted you, right?" you look up at her from your head's soft spot in her lap with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.

"dre-" you choke.

"oh my god! no! y/n, you can't take shit like that personal. not everyone enjoys talking or happiness for that matter, you can't hold on to something like that. i promise he's not too hung up on it himself." she wipes away one of your pitiful tears.

and here he is, standing across the room from you at a party.

you definitely did not expect to see matt (who’s mild attitude was clearly fueled by socializing) in this scene but you guess that la parties are just like that. as long as you know someone who knows someone you’re easily in, that's how you tend to get into these events at least. though an insta stalk would tell you matt has enough clout to get himself in, he and his brothers have built quite the brand for themselves among la socialites.

once your eyes spot him over the shoulder of some guy who just introduced himself to you, they can’t seem to move. you watch as matt smiles for a photo with a few others. matt. smiles. okay, so maybe it was a you problem. he doesn’t hate everyone maybe just you.

though, your thoughts are denied as quickly as his face drops. he doesn’t even care to look at how the image may have turned out like the rest of the group. instead, his eyes opt to watching the people around him as he sips his weak drink.

great, now you’ve become the weirdo watching him watch other people.

until his eyes catch your cautious yet curious stare from across the room. your cheeks heat and you’re immediately shifting your eyes back to the man in front of you.

matt almost smirks at his luck. no fucking way the scared sweetheart he’d tattooed just a few weeks ago is here. he looks away when someone lays a hand on his shoulder to bring him back into the conversation. you're surprised that he continues to look back over to you after adding his input.

the guy finally acknowledges your disengagement with the story about his new motorcycle and turns to see what exactly you’re staring at. he sees matt and turns back to you, “you know him?”

“yeah. well not like know-know we only met once, he gave me a tattoo.”

“oh, cool,” he looks back over to matt and turns back to you once again, “is he bothering you?”

your face scrunches initially, “no, it’s fine.” you smile at him, not wanting to give him the impression that matt did anything but exist (which apparently is enough to capture your attention).

“good. wanna go grab another drink and tell me more about this tattoo?” a charming smile morphs on face and you nod your head easily, taking his hand and leading him towards the bar outside of this large home. and away from matt.

“two-” you look over to the man beside you, “wait is this an open bar?” you ask him genuinely and he laughs a little at your aloofness.

“yeah,” he nods.

“perfect, we’ll take two kamikaze shots pretty please!” you smile at the bartender who seems to be enjoying her night quite a bit and squeeze his hand when you realize it’s still in your own. he looks down at your attached hands then back to you.

you turn your body to face him more directly and lean up to his ear, cupping your hand and whispering, “i’m so sorry, i think i forgot your name.” you were starting to feel bad and just had to confess.

you lean back and bite your lip to hide an awkward smile, and he somehow smiles harder than he already was, “it’s-”

“ashton!” you hear a voice yell hurriedly and now some dark haired guy is pulling him away from you and repeatedly saying “code red!” in his face. and suddenly, without any indication he’d enjoyed your short lived time together, he’s gone.

you try not to sulk but he was an attractive guy with easy conversation, so you at least hoped to get his number by the end of the night.

instead, you’re left leaning against the bar hoping those shots come around soon. you decide to update your friends on your night:

Y/N

cute guy lefttttt :(

REMI

noooooo he was so cute 😫

Y/N

don’t remind me

ANDREA

where r you now???

Y/N

outside bar, im waiting on shots

Y/N

come find me💔💔

your head shoots up from your phone when three guys practically ram themselves into the bar near you, a few people around them laughing obnoxiously.

"god damnit, chris! we said we were going slowly!"

"shhhh. you are so loud, matt!"

“excuse me, can we get some water? none of the sparkles or bubbles and shit, just water, please.”

“next time i'm speaking for myself! what if i wanted the bubbles?”

you lean your head a little to get a full view of the three recognizable faces. chris, with his arms dangled over his two brothers’ shoulders clearly obliterated and slurring his words (but excited to be there nonetheless). a blonde one, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet, with two nose piercings and a commanding voice. and matt, with his signature pout, even poutier now that chris’ weight is causing him to hunch over slightly. you guess you were bound to run into them.

you wonder if andrea was right in saying matt hadn’t held onto your exchange. you wonder if when he saw you earlier he remembered you for your friendly smile rather than your annoying nagging. or did he even remember you at all? did he only look at you because you were staring him down first? okay, where the fuck are those shots?!

“no way!" you hear chris’ voice screech upon recognizing you from across the bar, "y/n!?”

you look over and see him shockingly excited to see your face again. you smile in an attempt to not allow your nerves about matt get to you. you are never one to deny a conversation after all.

“oh my god! hi!” you reply as chris unwraps himself from his brothers and moves closer to you.

“how’s your tat treatin’ you?” his eyes express so much excitement he reminds you of a little kid. you’re very flattered to see someone feel so much emotion due to your mere presence.

“oh, it’s still so cute, no regrets so far. i love it.” you smile and he nods while you’re speaking.

he turns around and sees his brothers and a few friends remaining in the other side of the bar talking amongst themselves. “yo, get the fuck over here! why are you guys so far?” he encourages them with a hand wave.

you wave as well, trying not to be a total stranger- even if you are.

the blonde guy leads them over and hands chris a glass of water that must’ve been waiting on him.

“cheers,” chris smirks and takes a sip before a disgusted look takes over his face, “gross. my god! why do they make this shit so bland?”

the blonde boy rolls his eyes in amusement, mumbling, "just drink it," before approaching you kindly. "hey, i’m nick by the way."

“y/n, nice to meet you! i met chris and matt when i got my tattoo done at your shop a while ago.” you explain kindly.

before nick can get another word in a female voice is squealing, “you’re y/n?! hi, i’m asha, i don't know if your remember but we talked on the phone that one time!” a tanned girl with soft cheeks and dark loose curls moves herself in front of the boys.

“of course i remember, how could i forget that insane frog story? it's so nice seeing you in person finally!” you gush.

suddenly chris is beaming, “aww wait guys this is so cute! i’m feeling like we should all hug!” he nods to his brothers who are quick to shake their heads no.

“i don’t think..” nick starts.

“nooo! let’s hug!” chris argues and opens his arms wide gesturing for everyone to hug him.

౨ৎ

after sharing a very drunk and messy group hug you all continue to talk until chris finally blurts, "i gotta go pee so bad guys, " he laughs, "but i need people with me because if i walk in on someone puking, then what? i'll die from my severe" (its not severe at all) "emetophobia and no one will ever know?"

you and asha (who you've found is actually so similar to you) both laugh at his crisis.

matt just breathes a laugh.

"chris, there’s no reason to go further with the fear factor when no one said they wouldn't come with you. i’m coming, so you're not gonna die, let's go." nick shakes his head.

“you don’t understand, nick i would be dead and covered in- i can’t even say it, dude,” chris’ voice fades as they walk away.

"wait, i'll walk with you guys inside! 'm... getting cold out here!" asha suddenly says removing herself from your side and waving goodbye with a drunk smile.

"it's not cold at all, she's trippin'" matt speaks watching her run and practically jump onto nick, causing the three laugh while leaving the crowded yard.

you just shrug and lean onto the bar again, making eye contact with the bartender who looks as if she only just remembered your existence but also seems to mentally question where the other guy went and how you managed to replace him that quickly.

"are you always so nice about everything?" matt questions, leaning his forearms on the bar, still looking at you.

"what?" you look over to him now, feeling almost sick at his proximity.

he mocks you with a high tone in his voice, "'it's soooo nice to meet you! it's soooo nice seeing you!' it sounds exhausting, to be honest."

"didn't realize having manners got you jail time," you breathe.

"and i never said it did."

"well, i don't have to be nice to you if it bothers you so much," you shrug.

"aw, sunshine, you'd do that for me? you're too sweet." he almost laughs at his own sarcastic comment.

you lick your bottom lip out of habit, "why are you still here? don't you have friends you should be ignoring?" you hope he can't tell just how frustrated he's making you.

“you must think you know me.”

“i know you don’t like me.”

“wrong, again.” he smiles and points his finger at you.

“oh, you just don’t like anyone then?”

he glances away before responding, “what's the fun in telling you?”

you huff in defeat, wanting nothing more than those shots right now. though your subconcious hopes the bartender continues to prioritize her flirting customers over you just so you can continue this addicting back and forth with matt.

"you know, that’s the thing with people like you. you think everyone owes you everything." he shakes his head.

"people like me?” you scoff under your breath, “matt, why are you still here?"

he can pick out the offense in your tone, "oh shit, that was true? i was fucking with you, sunny!"

"you don't know anything about me," you laugh and shake your head.

"alright there are those kamikaze shots for you! so sorry about that major delay, honey!" the bartender sets the shots in front of the both of you and smiles at you apologetically.

"don't worry about it, thank you!" you hand her a spare five dollar bill from your back pocket.

when she's gone you finally notice matt's widened eyes.

"what's up with your face, now?"

"you gave her a tip for pouring you some rankydank, fuckin' low level shots after you've waited long enough for her to apologize?" he seems genuinely shocked.

"she only makes money off of tips," you roll your eyes, picking the shot up and gesturing towards the second shot for him to take.

"that's all you," he raises his hands towards his chest.

"oh my god, do it, matt."

he shakes his head and points to you, "you take your shot, sweetheart."

"i knew you wouldn't, pussy," you say under your breath before smirking as you down the alcohol you've been craving since you first saw his face.

upon your insult matt is immediately taking the shot along side you. and just as both of your faces adjust to the taste, matt's phone begins to vibrate.

he grabs it and you attempt to hide your own curiosity by asking the bartender for a lime to suck on (not daring to ask for alcohol again because you simply don't want to be hung up at this bar for any longer).

"yeah, yeah still here," matt plays with his bottom lip and looks down at you with your mouth full of lime. he thinks you look pretty adorable, especially under the blush pink fairy lights hanging above the bar. "'kay, i'll be quick. alright, nick. i will. bye."

he puts his phone away and wipes his mouth, "that shit was fucking vile, by the way."

"okay, drama queen."

"mhm," his face falters back into his usual pout, "well i gotta go, but, um, nick wanted me to invite you to this get together thing we host at the warehouse, it's in like a month but, you know, come if you want." he shrugs.

"tell him of course i will, but only because he asked." you smile sarcastically.

౨ৎ

ANDREA - 12:39 AM

y/n where are you we are both so confused rn help

ANDREA - 12:45 AM

hellooo????

ANDREA - 12:47 AM

GIRL WE'RE OUTSIDE AND WE DONT SEE YOU TF

Y/N - 1:06 AM

WHERE ARE U GUYS RN I JSUT SAW TATTOO GUY AGASSN IM LOSUNG MY MIND JUST A LUTTLE BIT

Y/N - 1:06 AM

I WAS AT THE OTHER OITSIDE BAR IN THE FRONT(?) YARD!!!!! but its ok im gonba find u guys

౨ৎ

a few days later matt comes across your instagram story, forgetting he had followed you in the first place. it was a picture of you and your friends from the same night he had seen you again. it's a simple mirror photo where you're all smiling but besides your soft skin and cute outfit, matt's attention focuses on frank ocean's pyramids playing over the story.

you see the notification later that day when you finally get time on your phone:

matthew.sturniolo liked your story

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

[coffeehighallthetime-blog]

I Am Kind not Complacent Chpt 8

chpt 8

word count: 6K

pairing: gow heimdall x reader, young

A/N: hello, again. it's been a minute. I'm sorry this is late, I have been going through it 👉👈 again! just busy end of the year craziness. also everytime I opened this document it made me want to scream. I still don't love it???? but I guess that's ok. this is for fun and I need to remember that. thank you as usual to everyone who likes and comments and thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoy it <3

P.S: I named our reader for this chapter. Her name is Yen, it's close to YN for ppl who still want to read it that way but is also more of a name for people who have an easier time with that. let me know how you guys feel about it and I can change it or not. i just wanted to test out a "name" to make the writing feel a little less clunky but idk :\

@engardeitsme I'm back!! i missed you :..) i hope you enjoy and thank you for talking with me a couple weeks ago!

prev-next

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“Why are your teeth gold?”

Heimdall turned his head to look at the girl, a brow raised.

“What?”

“Why are your teeth gold?” The girl repeated, tapping her incisor with her nail. He snorted, shaking his head.

“ I heard you. It’s just a stupid question, so I was allowing you the opportunity to change it.” 

“ Oh,” she took a moment to ponder and spoke again, “Are they solid gold, or are they just gold plated?” She smirked at him. Heimdall rolled his eyes, folding his arms behind his head.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to say things about a person’s appearance they can’t change?...oh, wait! I guess she couldn’t.” Yen’s mischievous smile quickly pulled into a pout. 

“Hey!” Heimdall cackled as a hand came down to smack his chest, and he grabbed the girl’s wrist to stop another blow. 

“I let you get one in out of pity.” she pulled her wrist free. 

“Yeah well, didn’t your precious All-Father ever tell you-... oh wait, that’s right he’s too busy ignoring you to teach you any manners.” Heimdall frowned, looking up at the girl. Yen sighed, shaking her head. “Poor poor Heimdall. You have all the training in the world on how to be a spoiled prince and a warlord, but you don’t know the first thing about how not to be a prick-!”

The wind was knocked out of her as she suddenly hit the grassy floor, and the two were rolling to the bottom of the hill, a jumble of loose limbs and shouting. Their bodies settle at the bottom, and Heimdall and Yen lay sprawled out next to each other. Heimdall looked at the girl, grass in her hair and a smear of mud across her right cheek. She had green stains on her shoulders and pebbles bunched up in the folds of her shirt. He did not look better, with dandelion seeds in his braids and rocks digging into his back. His pristine white shirt was covered in yellow, green, and brown. Their chests heaved and giggles started to bubble before they were both aware. Heimdall heard Yen’s first, her laugh bounding out of her head and out her mouth, between fits of snorts and chuckles. Heimdall found himself mirroring her, his laughter thrumming in his ears as they looked at each other. 

“ They’re solid gold,” Heimdall mumbled through a laugh. Yen calmed her own giggles and nodded. They looked up at the sky, watching the clouds shift past their vision. On slow days they had started sparing together, then stopped to talk, sometimes about how bad the other was, sometimes about how they had slept. Yen would offer a walk into the surrounding wood and the boy would refuse, ending their meetings. At some point, however, he started to say yes, despite the idea of stumbling together in twigs and bushes. At some point in the passing days, when the leaves had started to fall and the air had gotten cooler, they would meet at dawn, walk through the woods into a clearing, lay in the tall grass, and talk for as long as they could before their guardians would look for them. Yen would talk endlessly about her different plants and collect cuttings as they walked. Heimdall had somehow found himself holding her pack for her collected specimens. 

Yen grabbed her bag and sifted through the plants they had found, humming as she sorted them by type. 

“Do you know what those all do?” the boy asked, leaning up on his elbows. 

“Vaguely. I’ve learned about some of them. But I also see what the animals in this area are eating and take them home to test them!”

“Test them?”

“Mhm,”

“Like what, you eat them and see what happens?”

“Sometimes,” Yen shrugged, looking over to see Heimdall glaring at her, “What?”

“That’s idiotic! You could get sick, eating random things from the forest floor,” he shivered at the thought, grabbing the pack. Yen frowned and held it farther away from him. 

“A little late to be worried, Weasel. Besides, I only test what I’ve seen other animals use. Worse case, I induce regurgitation.” The girl explained that this is how she’s been able to make new medicines and learn the toxicity of poisons to develop antidotes. She let him read her notes and the extent of her research on the Asgardian flora. She was very passionate about her findings, though Heimdall could not stop the sinking feeling of worry. How many times she had gone into the woods alone before he started coming with her. 

“ You know we already had a lot of good Asgardian medicine right? There is no reason for you to be doing this.” 

“Well that’s not true, “ she smiled softly, pointing to her older notes, “ I’ve had to do this since I lived alone in Vanaheim. It’s important I know myself. When you are alone, who is going to help you?” she shrugged, “ sure it’s a little risky, but to be able to depend on myself? That’s not something I want to give up.”

“But-”

“Besides,” she held a hand up, urging him to let her finish, “ We will be working together in the future, right? If we end up in the middle of nowhere and you get hurt, I want to be able to help you when we don’t have access to Asgardian medicine.” He faltered. She surely couldn’t know more than their medics. Heimdall swallowed a shallow breath and looked away.

“Well… now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“How do you mean?”

“Obviously by the time we will be old enough to go on missions, no enemy will be able to lay a hand on me. So I’ll never be hurt.” Heimdall smirked and Yen snorted, shoving his shoulder lightly. Heimdall pushed his shoulder back against her hand and she giggled shaking her head. There was silence, and he could hear her thoughts swimming. She wanted to show him everything from the past week, but she felt nervous after their conversation on the medicine. 

“Right then, show me what you’ve learned,” Heimdall sat up, a small smirk on his lips. Yen frowned, sitting up on her elbows. Heimdall rolled his eyes. “Come off it, you’ve wanted to show off your little trick since we got here.” She bashfully sat the rest of the way up, fiddling with her hands. He looked at her expectantly, hearing her nervousness spinning as she siked herself up. “Any day now.”

“Okay, okay!” She grunted more to herself, shaking her hands to loosen up. She slowed her breath, holding her hands over the grass. “Rót,” she whispered, her palms glowing a violet light, the earth rippled apart as a single vine sprouted slowly, winding up and curling around the girl’s wrist and out. Heimdall’s smirk fell and he just stared as the vine wound around on itself. Leaves and small purple blossoms sprouted from it as it grew thicker. Yen let out a final breath, relaxing her shoulders as the glowing stopped and she looked at her creation, smiling as it flexed and relaxed in the cool breeze. Heimdall leaned forward, getting a better look at the plant. 

“ A root?” he asked, reaching to touch it, and had to hold back a laugh when it seemed to reach back out to him. Yen nodded with a small smile. 

“Yeah, cool right?” Heimdall shrugged, his lip once again quirked as he teased.

“Eh, sure. Would be better if it did something though. Is it for you to make flower crowns for everyone while they sign peace treaties.” He raised a brow as the girl matched his grin, raising a hand. 

“Not exactly. “Rót,” She repeated, snapping her fingers. Heimdall barely took in a breath by the time the vine had darted at him, winding around his leg and lifting him into the air. His body spun stiffly in the air as the root suspended him. A hand reached up to his shoulder, stopping the motion, and his magenta eyes met hers. He looked like a carp out of water, trying to come up with something to say. Yen giggled at the boy’s speechlessness. “You shouldn’t judge things at face value, Heimdall. You of all people should know that.”

“Put me down.”

“Oh, but aren’t you having fun up there?”

“Watch yourself, Songbird,” There was no venom in his words. Nonetheless, she put her hands under him, helping him lower back down into the grass. As he brushed himself off, her magic dissipated and the vine shrank back into the dirt. Yen rocked on her heels, a nervous grin pulling at her cheeks. Heimdall shook his head with a snort. “Okay, yes. That was fairly impressive, and can actually be useful.”

“Even though it's Vanir magic?” she shifted her weight, looking at him nervously. Heimdall’s face softened slightly. He had so many preconceptions before the two had met. How they were savage warriors. Stupid, tricky, untrustworthy. She wasn’t like the Vanir people his father had spoken to him about, and Odin wouldn’t lie to him, right? So that meant the girl must have just been different from them. An exception. 

“Don’t make me compliment you again. Once was enough.” Yen knew it was reassurance in his own way, and let it go. Heimdall nudged her shoulder, already starting to walk. “Come on, let’s start heading back.” She smiled and nodded, falling in step with the boy. Heimdall swallowed, his shoulders stiff. “So…what else have you learned?” “Well,” The girl pondered for a moment, thinking through her past lessons. “ Freya showed me how to leave markers to amplify magic, which is pretty neat. But I still need to work on my aim for it. I also know how to grab small objects without touching them now, and I can hopefully do bigger things soon…” She trailed off.

“What?”

“I just… feel like she doesn't want to teach me anymore. She keeps me at basics, but I know I understand it already… I just don’t know if she’s grown tired of it or if I’m just not getting it like I should…” Heimdall frowned. This was not the first time Yen had brought this up. 

“She’s always been a stiff. It’s not you.” 

“It’s not just her though…” Yen rubbed the back of her neck, looking away as the boy stared.” Don’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you stopped and just told me what was bugging you… I didn’t know the old goat had started shutting you out too.” Yen swallowed a shallow breath and nodded. 

 “He’s just… He won’t tell me much more about the other realms when I ask anymore. It’s like they gave me a hobby and dangled it like a carrot for a horse so they could take me away from some bigger picture…when he and Freya started teaching me about plant life and then left me to my own devices… “Yen plucked handfuls of grass from next to her and dropped it just as fast, over and over until there was dirt under her nails as she spoke. “ I wanted to be useful… I drowned myself in it… I wanted to see if it could help me in some way…Odin came to me, congratulating me on my new ‘goddesshood in medicine” she scoffed as she repeated the words. “...I could just tell he was filled with disappointment… at my uselessness. And who can blame him!”Heimdall rolled his eyes.

“You are not useless. Those two are just holding you back. Don’t blame that on the All-Father.”

“I’m not! I just-” She groaned, raking her fingers through the dirt, “Mimir says there’s a lot I don’t know still…but he’s also not showing me things. he says I’m doing well at controlling my powers but I’m just worried that even if I’m not trying… it’s hard wanting to talk to people and not knowing if they agree with you or being nice to you because they want to or because…” she trailed off, looked at the boy next to her, “I don’t want to be… I want…” she struggled to find her words for a moment, “ I want to earn trust, not take it.” She spoke finally, after trying to catch her words. Hiemdall looked at her for a moment, before shrugging. 

“I trust you.”

“You do?” she asked, caught off guard by the response. “I guess…I just am worried that-”

“That my change of opinion was your doing? Don’t flatter yourself, Songbird.” Heimdall snorted, bumping her shoulder with his own. “Maybe you can control those braindead Einjhar to do your bidding and treat you like a princess, but I’m a god.”

“So?” Yen frowned, glaring weakly at the boy.

“So?” So, I am the god of foresight. I cannot be swayed by petty tricks. I can sense intention, and since the beginning, I have never felt… uh..” his face grew a light pink as he realized his point. She stared at him, a brow raised, waiting for the end of his thought. Heimdall coughed into his hand, feeling the warmth radiating off his cheek, “I’ve… never felt uneasy around you…I trust you… we were using each other, and we still are,” he looked at her, his lips lifting into a shy grin, “But I don’t mind it anymore…”

Yen’s cheeks started to grow red, her eyes widening slightly and she looked away, feeling herself warm up despite the fall air. Heimdall swallowed, walking faster ahead of the girl. 

“Come on, you have your lesson with the old goat and I have a meeting with the All-Father.” Yen grinned. She quickly recovered, coughing and starting a chuckle.

“Oho! So you aren’t being ignored.” She teased, hands crossing behind her back. Heimdall sighed, his hands squeezing at his sides. Odin had wanted to talk to Heimdall about how Yen had progressed, and when she would be of use to him. She caught up the the boy, softening her posture, and nudged him with her elbow. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see. I’m sure he just wants to tell you how well you’re doing!” 

“Well of course, I’ve been doing well in my assignments, it’s just a regular report. Nothing to worry about.” Yen chuckled, reaching into a pouch on her belt. 

“Hey, I know you may not want to. But I’ve been working on this medicine for your migraines.” she held out the little leather sack to him. He hesitated looking to her for some kind of reassurance. Her thoughts were full of nothing but the want to help. “Don’t worry, it’s just Feverfew and Butterbur mixed with some mint and juniper. Steep it and drink a cup before bed.” He sighed and took the pouch, tucking it into his pocket. 

“ You’re pushing this “trust” envelope, and I’ve just admitted to it. I shouldn’t have to take anything for help. I just need to get through it until it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“Humor me. Try it once, and only if you really can’t handle it yourself. Oh, and if you could maybe tell the All-Father how hard I’ve been working… I would appreciate it…”

‘I don’t want to be left behind.’

Her voice echoed in his head. Heimdall looked at the girl as they split ways in the large cabin

“I will.”

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“It’s been eight months!” Odin’s voice rattled through his study. Mimir stood still, hands behind his back as Odin paced to and fro. Hugin and Munin sat in the rafters, their eyes glowing as they peered down at the men. “ Eight months! And you tell me nothing is progressing with the little thing?”

“Apologies, All-Father, but it appears she is still having a hard time adjusting to Asgard.”

“Pah!” Odin grunted, leaning on his desk. “I’ve seen her, Mimir. She must be holding out on you, or something! Being extra clever. Hiding her powers. Munin has seen her in the woods a few weeks back, using magic. And we know what she is capable of. The question is why is she hiding from us all of a sudden,” Odin paced towards his desk, uncorking a pot of mead. he poured a goblet at held it out to the Goodfellow.

“Ah, no thank you, All-Father,” Mimir waved a hand. Odin huffed and slammed the bottle onto his desk, taking a deep gulp from the goblet. 

“She was doing so well before. I offer her safety, offer her family, I offer her trust! And then her progression just halts.”

“Freya has been teaching her, and she has been practicing. We have both encouraged her not to use any magic until she can control herself.” Mimir tried to reassure him without bringing too much attention to the fact the girl was gifted enough to use magic without help. The two had done their best to hide the progression of her gifts to stop the All-Father’s advances from using the girl. But with how strong she was already getting, it was getting more difficult to hide, especially while keeping her in the dark about the fact she couldn’t show her true potential. It had gotten to the point even Mimir and Freya could not keep up with the pace of the girl’s learning. As though she spent hours outside of lessons practicing the control of her magic.

“Well, it’s not working. If anything she’s become stir-crazy. I don’t care if she loses control. I can do damage control! What I can’t do, is use a scared little girl that’s too afraid to use her powers, to help me gain control of the realms! She tried to use it against me! To get me to, what, compliment my son? useless! Don’t you see? We need to get this under control so we can use her, and so that she will not be a threat. It’s already starting to get out of hand. If only we had tracked her down sooner,” Odin’s voice was rough with frustration as he pulled at the ends of his beard. “ She doesn’t even know the extent of what she is. She’s a silly little child, who sees the world as back and white. And I’d like to keep it that way until she fully trusts us. Then we can finally-” Mimir was about to interject when the door to the study opened. 

“ I’m here for my report, All-Father,” Heimdall spoke with a short bow. Mimir stiffened and looked at the boy from the corner of his eye. The two gods turned to Heimdall, their figures dark and towering in the candlelight of the darkened amber of the study. They knew. They knew he had heard, how could he not? Heimdall stood ridged at the door, his eyes glowing in the darkened doorway. 

‘ The boy will ruin everything,’ Heimdall heard Mimir’s thoughts rattle into his skull. The Goodfellow’s anxiety came off in waves. ‘protect Yen… keep her safe… the lad will say too much…’ 

Heimdall looked up at Mimir, his brow cocked. Keep Yen safe from what? What wasn’t the old goat sharing with the All-Father? His father would be the one who knows best how to protect the girl if she was in danger. Odin straightened, rolling his shoulder back and nodding his head to his son.

“Come in, Heimdall. Mimir, my friend, we will talk more later. You may leave. You have a lesson with the girl now, don’t you?

“Yes, All-Father,” Mimir bowed, ready to take his leave. As he started to shut the door on his way out, Odin called out.

“And Mimir, please try to push the girl further. I’d like for her to be able to aid in the Jötunheim treaties. It's either that, “He sighed, “ or we may have to call the whole thing off… put her back where she came from.” Mimir nodded, hoping that he could keep the visage of the girl’s powers useless just long enough for Odin to lose interest. Odin however knew something was amiss. He knew just from the small passings with the child that she was brighter than his allies claimed. And he knew exactly who to ask to get the feast of information he craved. Anyone would need to be blind to not see that the two children had grown close. The whisperings from Hunin and Mugin of the two sneaking off to the others’ room in the night, to being spotted in the woods. Odin was pleased, thinking his son finally stepped up to the title of his spy and learning all he could about the Vanir creature. Still, he was worried that the girl may have also tricked his son as well, so he needed to make Heimdall give any information willingly. He picked up a scroll and licked the tip of his quill before dipping it into a pot of ink, scribbling away as he spoke to his son.

“I’m sorry, Heimdall, but it seems I’ve called you here for nothing. Mimir has shared with me how our guest has been doing and it seems the lessons aren’t going anywhere.” Odin rubbed his temple, taking a seat in his chair, “their reports say she is unable to grasp basic concepts, her understanding of both Vanir and Asir magic is only basic, and she seems to be causing more trouble than the entire debacle is worth. I think you were right before, my son. She’s truly better off back home.”

“That’s not true!” Heimdall’s voice carried through the room with an echo.  He composed himself, swallowing. Odin looked up from his reports, staring at Heimdall with his good eye, head tilted. 

“Not true?” Well, I will say she has been improving her skills of manipulation. What with trying to use them on me? I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d gotten to you, boy. She’s just not worthy to be among us.”

 Heimdall swallowed. “She has been doing remarkably well, All-Father. I’ve seen it.”

“Seen it?’ Odin replied, pushing himself from his chair. “Tell me, Heimdall. What Mimir and Freya refuse to.”

“I have gained her trust, All-Father. Mimir and Freya are not being fully honest with you…” The boy’s eyes glinted as he looked at his father across the room, “But I’m not sure why, yet.”

“You are suggesting that my most trusted allies are not being truthful with me, Heimdall? This is a very serious accusation, you understand.” Odin sauntered over to the boy, making him take a step back on instinct. He swallowed, pushing himself back forward, hands behind his back. 

“I simply believe she may be… too anxious to show them what she can do. But I have heard from her myself that she is eager to serve Asgard, father. She wants to be of use to you.” Heimdall urged, taking another step closer to his father. Odin hummed, his hand tightening around his staff. Why was the old goat not telling him any of this? 

“Heimdall,” Odin started, stalking closer to the boy. “Have you noticed anything in peculiar about the child?” he circled the boy, never looking him in the eye. “Has she shown you things behind closed doors? Anything of use?” Heimdall swallowed, concentrating on his heartbeat. 

“ She is… she is able to quiet the mind, All-Father…” Odin halted his steps behind the boy, glancing down at him from the corner of his eye. Heimdall continued. “I’ve seen her… calm people, quiet unruly thoughts… I… she’s done it to me, before.” Odin scoffs. 

“I don’t need my soldiers softened.”

“I think it can be of use to you, All-Father.” Heimdall spoke quickly, turning to face the man. “To… to manipulate the other side?” Odin hummed, tilting his staff the boy to urge him to continue. “She also… She also has been studying Asgardian and Vanir magic and has been able to start creating hybrid potions.” Heimdall pulled the medicinal tea from his pocket, turning to hand it to Odin. “She made this, just today… she said it’s for headaches. It’s made from things she studied herself in the woods with the help of Queen Freya’s knowledge. With help… She could use her medicines to strengthen Asgard and weaken enemy forces. I do not know why your allies are hiding this from you, All-Father, but I assure you she is worthy of staying here.” Odin’s lip curled into a grin and he hummed, reaching out to grab the pouch. He took a whiff of the tea. What else were his dear wife and friend hiding? And was it truly even their fault, or was this girl able to weasel her way into their heads?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“Mimir, did you know that if you mix yarrow with the inner bark of birch trees, it will cure nearly any stomach ailment.”

“Oh? And did the queen teach you that?”

“Well, sort of. She taught me about yarrow but then while I was with Heimdall in the woods we found some rabbits scratching at birch trees,”

“What were you two doing in the woods?” Mimir interjected, a brow raised. The girl frowned, as she thought this unimportant to her explanation. 

“We were brambling,” Yen said, as though this were a normal thing for two twelve-year-old gods. “So anyway, I told him, “Wonder why they’re doing that” but he didn’t seem to care. But I kept watching them and they were licking at the inner bark! so then I collected a sample and see what it could be used for, and guess what!”

“Wait wait, you tested this on yourself?”

“Well I didn’t want to poison anyone,” she shrugged, then pointed at her findings. “look see? I tested it with different plant combinations and by itself.” she rolled her sleeves up to reveal some light scares. “I tested to see if it could used for physical injuries, but it didn’t do much. So then I thought, “Maybe it’s for internal problems?” so then I ate some nightshade berries-”

“You did what?!”

“It’s ok, it was just a couple-”

“Lass, lass…” Mimir rubbed his face, trying hard not to shout with frustration. She truly had turned into quite the little scientist, and though most of the time Mimir found her brilliant, it was not hard to also easily find himself drowning with worry. Like when she had measured the amount of toxicity needed to be consumed from said nightshades to cause death and even made some medicines from the poisonous plant as well. All this to say, this was not a special occurrence, but it worried the Goodfellow just the same every time. “You are… quite the little toxicologist,” he chucked through his nervousness, reading the girl’s findings while wringing his hands together. “I thought we talked about this. About being more careful about-” he sighed, “About not using yourself as an experiment. We have all the medicine you would need here, why go and try to make more, hurting yourself in the process?” Yen’s excitement wilted as she wrang her own hands out, a tick she had picked up from the man, gods forbid he ever lost his hands. 

“Well… what if we don’t have anymore? What if someone gets hurt and the medicine we have doesn’t work? What if someone accidentally eats nightshade?... I just want to be prepared. Help people…be useful…” 

“You are useful, Sweet girl.” Mimir assured, “ And despite my points… you are right… you have found many interesting findings and new medicines for Asgard.

“ Then why won’t the All-Father show any interest in me? Has he forgotten about me?” She looked up at the man, her eyes pleading. “ Does he not see I’m willing to sacrifice myself to be of use, here? You tell him everything I’ve done right?” Mimir swallowed and nodded.

“Of course, Daughter. I tell him all the time about how much you’re progressing.” his lies stung his throat, but not as much as knowing what Odin would use her for if he knew her actual potential. 

“Then… I’m just not good enough, then…” She whispered to herself. Mimir shook his head, unable to hold in his utter disbelief. 

“Not good enough? That’s not even a funny joke, Lass!” she looked up at the puck, confused.”

“But I’m not-”

“Nope! Surely you’re mistaken. It must have been a joke. Because I’m sitting in front of a child goddess who’s been here less than a year and already knows more about medicine than most of our damn medics! A girl, who can command the attention of an entire room! A girl who put that little brat prince in his place and even became his friend!”

“I-I wouldn’t say we’re-”

“That boy would not bother walking into the woods and waiting, albit annoyed at your birch bark notes if you weren’t friends.” she shut her mouth, a flush on her face. Mimir chuckled, crouching down to her level. “ You are fiercely kind in the face of the strange and taxing, you are sharp as a blade and undeniably brilliant. And the All-Father will see so soon enough.”

The girl left after her lesson and Mimir dropped his hopefulness, falling into his chair and grabbing his book of observations. A list of words describing his little companion.  his face faded as he read down the list after a few months of teaching the girl.  his hand trembled as he wrote down his recent evaluation. Odin had been right. She saw the world as black and white, and truly wanted to be good. But the truth was simply not that simple. Nothing ever was. Mimir had wanted to keep her in the dark for just a day longer. Let her see herself in the sun for one more day. But that was dangerous and he knew it. Mimir moved to the margin, where he had her goddesshoods marked, on the first day, he had written her base abilities and what they thought she was at first. “Goddess of peace, goddess of logic…goddess of medicine…” goddess of…

He needed to speak to Freya. She would be better at giving Yen the news. Tell her that everything has a shadow.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“I need to show you something,” Yen looked up from her notes to see Freya standing in front of her. Her face was stone, and the shadows of the sun through the window fanned over her face, painting her worry marks. Yen frowned, sitting up a bit straighter and setting her pencil down.

“Show me what?”

“ Just come with me, and we'll talk, alright?” Freya offered a steady hand, and Yen took it, her little fingers enveloped fully in the Valkyrie’s gloved hand. She ushered her tenderly towards the fireplace and they sat down on the bundle of furs and tapestries on the floor. Yen sat across from Freya and watched as she pulled some research journals, illustrations, and scrolls. “When you are ready,” Freya spoke, sliding the scrolls to Yen. There was not another word between the two, just the crackle and pop of wood splintering in the fire. As Yen stared at the pages, Freya was patient, watching and waiting for the girl to start reading when she was ready. Yen finally picked up the journals and did not finish reading until she had gone through every document.

 The day her village had burned to the ground. 

The first time she told Freya she should have died, were she mortal, but didn’t.

 The resources of different towns and villages, of a girl wandering into their domain and leaving without a trace. Some spoke of her kind words and the peace she brought to them. But in the timeline, soon it was nothing but stories of ruin. Of villages filled with nothing but drones. shells of what were once beautiful towns and cultures reduced to nothingness. What was once left to be peaceful and logic-built structures soon dissolved into a spiral of selfish behaviors. Stealing instead of trading, abandoning children, and killing people to take their land. How was a child to know such loose rules would lead mortals to find twisted loopholes? Then again isn’t that what mortals are best at? 

“Why are you showing me this?” Yen whispered, rubbing at her eyes as her vision got blurry. “I know all this already, I know that I made a mistake b-because I was stupid, why are you doing this to me?” she spoke, her voice harsher this time as she finally looked up at Freya, who sat still, keeping her eyes cast down.

“Because you need to know why you can do these things,” Freya spoke, sifting through the journals, bringing one up and flipping through to a page. “Here. this one. What did you say to this village before you left them?” 

“I don’t want to do this-”

“What did you say.” Freya’s voice boomed against the walls of books surrounding them, and Yen squeezed her hands against the knobs of her knees. 

“I said…” she mumbled, trying to remember her last commands, “I told them to  walk away from the battlefield….to take care of themselves…”

“And they did…” Freya spoke softly now, “And when they take care of themselves, they stop taking care of their community. They left each other for dead.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Yen’s voice crumbled into sobs, her shoulders shaking, “I-I didn’t want them to-”

“Breath, Yen…breath,” Freya rested a hand on the girl’s head, letting her take her time to ground herself. “Your words have power, but so do your intentions. If we can practice properly, we will be able to give simple demands without worrying how they will be interpreted. On the other hand…” Freya continued, pointing at a different passage. “It almost seems as though your powers currently default to pushing people towards disarray… which means I believe we have found for certain the two sides of your coin.” she grabbed the girl’s shoulders, squeezing just slightly. Yen looked up, her tears slowing. Freya sighed, calming her heartbeat. “Yen, ever since you came to Asgard,…even before we met, I have seen you. You are the goddess of peace and logic and that can be seen from your ability to defuse altercations and to calm even the most ill-tempered…but I’ve also seen how out of sorts your own temper can get…how angry you are inside…”

“I’m not angry,” Yen whispered, but Freya shook her head, shushing the girl.

“You are angry, and in pain and uncertain. You use logic at one turn and act on impulse at the other. You are a paradox, sweet girl.” Freya held the girl’s face in her calloused hands. “ And I know you know…you are a smart girl, and you’ve been putting the pieces together yourself.” Yen placed her hands over Freya's, and she could feel her little fingers tremble over her own.

“I don’t know what to do…”

“Chaos is not something to be afraid of…” Freya smiled just a bit, holding the girl’s face tighter. “It is the order of the world. It is an order of all things. And it is also not all that you are. Do you remember what I said before? About how we were going to find all your sides and help you put them together?” Yen could barely nod with her face trapped in the woman’s hands. The Valkeryie laughed, pressing their heads together. “You will be ok, goddess of peace, goddess of logic… goddess of medicine and healing…” She offered, to soften this very blow, “goddess of chaos, goddess of discord.” 

A Cocauphany. That’s all you could call it. As sobs reverberated through the room, thrumming between the two until there was nothing left.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

[yonpote]

this is my keep or yeet livepost w my onions on whether phil should keep or yeet

THE GHOST SHIRT yeet bc its haunted by... another youtuber who's worn it. BUT dan pointing out that its small on him just makes it hotter cuz like... tight fitting clothes on this man is,..... hoo boy

aladdin for me is a yeet but im not the biggest aladdin fan personally? so i think keep for phil is fine and BLACK SHIRTS ON PHIL UGHHHHHH LOVe

red nasa shirt 😭😭😭 i would keep it for sentiment tbh ;;

shoe shirt? its so random. yeet. WAIT IT HAS TEXTURES NVM KEEP

oh god wtf is that{?!? OH HE DYED THE ICONIC SHIRT LMAOO yeah this is a yeet but i relate so much to trying to dye something a cool color but just making it look kinda dirty 😭

OH HELL YEAH RIPPED GREEN HOODIE YUMMALICIOUS HUBBA HUBBA comfy hoodie is always a keep

oh brother not another opera spon... use firefox everyone, its got tab containers too and if you use ublock origin u can put in a specific list thing for youtube ads so you dont get the adblock block thing look it up on reddit its so good, if u need chrome for mandatory work thing sure but firefox doesnt harvest everything you type so

NGJFNFJ THE MOLDY GREEN DYED SHIRTS ARE SO BAD BUDDY THE SUSHI SHIRT WOULDA BEEN CUTE OTHERWISE

a millennial gay can never have too many flowery button ups imo, keep

corgi!!!! cute!!

crusty bottom and clean top..... dont make me say it.........

OOO keep the splatter print shirt its very lesbian!!!

gatorland shirt i like a good comfy tourist shirt

marvel shirt YEEEEET

omg the ancient illness hoodie..... THE ONE THAT DAN WORE WHILE WEARING A COLANDER ON HIS HEAD KEEP IT HAS LORE!!!!!!

uhhhh random gray rectangle shirt.. yeet unless he wants to do the short sleeve over long sleeve e boy look

MESH SAKURA SHIRT KEEP FOREVER HOT AND MATCHES DANS SAKURA SHIRT LOL. TJE NIP WINDOW????? CHEST HAIR!?!?!?!?

ooo semi-varsity jacket... i think if it was baggier on him and it looked more like the embroidered ones ppl wear in japan it would be a keep but for me its yeet

MOON SHIRT!!!! keep for cutie pie reasons. PHIL IS NOT APPROPRIATING LESBIAN WITCH DAN HE LITERALLY IS ONE HES A LESBIAN PSYCHIC "i could be a lesbian witch!"

nasa jacket keeeeep

stranger yeet.

types of frogs KEEP. ITS SO RAINFOREST CAFE FROG SHIRT VIBE AS WELL AS DAN'S SPACE CENTER CAT SHIRT

beetle... i voted yeet on ig

friends t shirt i would say keep for phil cuz listen. millennials need their sitcom attachment and i love a big comfy shirt. also oops edit flub? they didnt say whether it was kept or yet o7

minesweeper shirt KEEP just bc charlie plays so much minesweeper like my fav part of her streams is just watching her play minesweeper very intensely

keeeeep the plaid windbreaker its sooooo hot on phil. "it smells like a man whos not me" "philip where have you been." jealous dan returns

pokemon hoodie ummmm im kinda 50/50 on this one i love pokemoncore shit but fsr this pattern looks a bit weird? but overall a keep

tokyo i think i voted keep cuz i thought it was newer than it is lol idk i dont think its the worst

furby shirt keep 100% THE OLD FURBY

i think phil shoudl keep all his shorts but him them like 3 inches shorter or just cut the length off. i think its so funny how cis men are like "omg im so slutty for wearing 7 inch inseam shorts" like girl get the daisy dukes out. i wanna see the thighs please.

DID SHE JUST TAKE HER SHORTS OFF ON CAMERA. PHIL YOU WHORE. BRIGHT BLUE UNDIES. IM KILLING MYSELF

YES!!!! TINY LITTLE SHORTS GOD YES THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME.

comfy gray shorts keep OH ITS THE ASS SHORTS. ITS THE CAKE SHORTS. KEEP

oof skinny shorts?? yeet (but no hate on skinny jeans in general... i only have one pair of jeans and theyre mega ripped skiinny jeans they just dont look skinny on me cuz im short and chubby) "if emo comes back" girl emos been back

corduroy shorts mehhh oh but texture phil needs texture so keep

ORANGE FLOWER SHORTS KEEP

HELLO??? ummm godzilla shorts are.... if the print were on a shirt i would keep but on shorts?

brown shorts yeet, flower sweater keep, basically i agree w them

ooh another black graphic longsleeve lol. I THINK THIS ONES A KEEP AND THE BEETLES A YEET SORRY

oh funky hoodie. i like it i would wear it keep but idk if i like it on phil

KEEP THE PURPLE STRIPEY SWEATER FOREVER

if this fleece jacket thing didnt have such a stupid back design on it i would say keep

SPOTTY RED BUTTON UP KEEP

keep comfy buffalo checker sweater!!! i would keep

"manchester hoodie" oh.... everyone who voted yeet go die katamari hoodie is perfect

KEEP DENIM JACKET FOREVER

fuzzy denim keeeep hes so hot

spotty blue shirt i LOVE but. its so tatinof ykwim and phils in his new era

oooh stripey blue shirt keep!

i bought a sweater that was inspired by this blue and pink checker thing LOL i think it looked better when he had jet black hair lol

BRIGHT FUTURE! keep!!!

omg wait nooo not the red bomber!!! its cute!!!!!! im too attached to his clothes bro.... i like the red one more than the blue one tbh WHY DID HE BUY SO MANY VERSIONS

Nasa sweater!! keep

blue button up is too like. corporate lol. brother you dont have an office job you dont need boring tops

tiger jumper keep!!!! i like it!!!!! fuck u MEAN fast fashion

good vibes keeeep for the vibes

oh the brown flower pattern on this doesnt work on phil

OH THIS PLANT ONES HOT. YEAH DAN THATS RIGHT DEFEND THIS SHIRT

great wave keep!

glittery zebra is so tied to 2017 in my brain but not in a good way tbh yeet but he is hot in it. "you bought this for me dan" omfg shut UP

i think i voted keep on chess but. on second look its a yeet tbh...

ok thats it yippee that was fun theyre gay im gonna die

[w4nnaplayagame]

I don't know if I was supposed to send it here and I think I made it too big sorry 🧍‍♀️

(and I'm using the translator maybe it looks weird and i know how to speak English but I didn't trust myself enough to translate everything lmao) 

I don't know how to start either but I'm bisexual, I don't care what gender I'm going to be paired with, I paint and draw as a hobby since childhood and I usually listen to music all the time (and I'm always talking about my favorite singer Louis Tomlinson🧍‍♀️) about appearance I dye my hair blonde and have pink tips but I change my hair all the time anyway) green eyes, im like 5'3? I'm not sure💀 I like mini skirts, pink clothes but I also have a lot of big shirts and pants depending on the occasion I change my style of dressing a lot 

‍🧍‍♀️ 

about personality I'm very quiet at first but if you start talking with me I won't shut up (and I'm ashamed of it) I like going out to parties but I'm always at home idk why ?? I love getting ready to go out, I'm (obviously) passionate about horror films and I literally have a shelf of hello kitty and horror movies things. About dreams I don't think I have a very big dream (at least the ones I have a chance of accomplish) but I'm starting to study for my nursing course (I don't know if I translated that right? btw I'm Brazilian) so I think I want to pursue this career

I’m sorry again 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

When I tell you she’d be on her KNEES for you.

She was definitely the one who stepped up to strike a conversation.

(Behind a golden retriever gf is a girl who has immense anxiety: that’s you)

“I’M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW BABE 1D IS SO COMING BACK THIS YEAR!”

“Uh huh sure baby”

You two take turns being delusional about the prolonged comeback.

CONSTANTLY BRAGS ABOUT BEING AN INCH TALLER>:/

She likes to steal your clothes, she finds your taste in clothing adorable.

One time, you came to class in pyjamas just to see her wearing your favourite skirt.

Of course she uses that as an excuse to tell you to take it off of her o_o

“Babe can you draw that?” “Babe what about that mountain?” “You should paint the beach!”

She has one giant playlist that’s filled with songs that reminds her of you.

You think that’s sweet? Motherfucker you two would be fucking while that playlist is on and next thing you know Never say never is playing:/

You already know she stays strapped with hello kitty merchandise cus she just bought everything for you.

She’d be so possessive of you during parties and makes sure to always have her hands on you.

——

A/N: Can Mindy fight? Cus i got my eyes on her gf😏

[duskamethyst]

mistakes.

a/n: totally for self indulgence... don’t know how is this gonna do though since i’m not sure if a lot of people has caught up with the manga but i’m pretty sure the fandom has seen him at least once and instantly thirst for him. so, idk what colour his eyes are (i can see blue but fanwiki says green so i stuck with that and in between). this comes with a package of me pointing out how big and buff he is and idc if you’ll get annoyed over it.

word count: 6.1k

genre: AU, nsfw, smut, angst if you squint

warnings: DARK – NONCON, coercion, corruption kink, daddy kink, size kink, choking, mind break, breeding, face fucking, slight dacryphilia, spitting, age gap, degradation, virgin reader, dilf toji manhandling reader

pairing: toji x f!reader

languages available: vietnamese.

summary: you want to surprise your bestie, megumi upon his arrival home from college but things take a terrible turn.

one.

heavy rain starts pouring as soon as you’ve reached the front doorstep of the fushiguro’s household. it was a dumb idea to not bring an umbrella with you despite the sky already starting to get dark when you left home earlier, but you were willing to push your luck and started sprinting once you felt prickles of droplets landing on your skin. with a stroke of luck, you managed to escape the heavy downpour from soaking your clothes.

drawing a deep and relieved sigh, you take a moment to regain control over your breathing before knocking the big front door. aware of the aftermath of the run, you fix your hair with your hands as you wait for megumi to come and greet you. 

college made you and the male to part ways until phones were the only thing that kept you both up to date with each other’s lives. ironically enough, that’s the thing you forgot to bring when you left home in a rush and excitement to surprise your dear friend since he’s coming home today. you can vividly remember the last text you read; he was at the train station and you had to estimate the time of his arrival and the time he would be at home instead of asking him.

however, you’re caught slightly off guard when a different man opens the door for you instead. nonetheless, your lips curl to a sweet smile and there’s a brief of awkward silence before he speaks. you know him, but he doesn’t seem to remember you at all.

“you’re..?” with a tilt of his head, he looks down at you with a curious brow. 

“it’s me, mr. fushiguro!” you offer your name, scrutinizing the expression on his face as his forehead crinkles while he jogs through his memories. then he glances at you and away in thought and back at you again with wide eyes when he finally recalls.

“oh, it’s you!” he ruffles your hair, a bit too enthusiastic in spite of his usual character that you were always familiar with. “i haven’t seen you in a while.”

you let out a little laugh, “yeah. i think i was fourteen the last time i saw you, mr. fushiguro. but it’s nice to see you again.”

“ah, yes. i had to go out of town and overseas for business a lot.” toji explains, rubbing the back of his neck, slightly bashful that he didn’t recognize the girl– no, woman before him even when you both have met plenty of times back when you often came to play with his son since you both were still little. 

but can anyone blame him? time works wonders and now the little girl he used to know has grown to be much more mature and gorgeous and so... demure.

“yeah, megumi told me. speaking of him, is he home?” you finally inquire, bringing up the reason why you’re here in the first place. 

two.

“why don’t you come in first? it’s cold outside.” he says before immediately turning around without answering your question. you close the door behind you and follow him closely, also somewhat intimidated when you realize how tall and huge he is– the tight fitting shirt stretches over his wide back and accentuating his physique even more. his arms are toned and popping with veins, not the way you used to remember at least, but you’ve never cared to notice. you’re not certain of his age either, but you’re pretty sure you’d be surprised if you find out.

“do you want coffee or tea?” toji suddenly breaks the silence as you nervously stand in the middle of the room to take a glimpse around the kitchen like it’s your first time being there, completely heedless over his gaze lingering up and down your curves, observing the figure of a girl who just freshly went through her womanhood and your lascivious beauty before he quickly turns around to grab two mugs from the cabinet. 

“anything is fine.” you politely reply, fear of sounding somewhat demanding if you choose your preference despite being offered with choices. 

“come on, you’re giving a man a hard time.” he jokes. “and sit down.”

he’s trying to extend his invitation though intentionally sounding assertive, but when he sees that you are quick to comply and scramble to your seat, he finds it to be... stimulating. at least he knows that you’re docile and he wonders if he could put it to the test. well, doesn’t matter. he will.

“coffee is good.” you smile, interrupting his train of thoughts and he pours the coffee from the pot before walking over to hand you your mug. 

“unfortunately,” he sits down on the chair next to you. “megumi isn’t home right now.” toji puts his lips between the warm mug and softly blows before sipping his coffee. “he wanted to take a short trip to the store but i think he’s going to be stuck there for a while.” he looks out the window to only see pitch black staring back at him along with roaring thunder from the skies.

“oh.” you mutter, taking a careful sip of the hot brew. a little disappointed that you couldn’t see megumi yet, but his dad is right– it’s nearly a disaster outside but you find no point hanging around any longer either.

“is it too bitter? you don’t like it?” his voice laces with concern when he notices your face involuntarily scrunches up at the bitter taste. 

you quickly shake your head, “no, no. it’s fine!” you reassure, afraid that he’ll take offense from the coffee he personally made. “besides, if megumi isn’t here, i–”

three.

“oh, it’s fine if you wait here for him.” he cuts you off. “unfortunately, we don’t have an extra umbrella.” the corners of his lips tug into a comforting smile and you are quick to relax into it. 

you’ve always found toji to be quite frightening when you were young. he seemed like someone who never smiled, always had a sombre and intense vibe to him that no child would be too fond of.  there was no exchange of words between you two, except for your constant brief hello and a smile that you did out of courtesy whenever you bump into him inside his house, even though he never replied anything back. not even a crack on the lips to return the smile. 

but today is different. probably because he finds it easier for him to talk to an adult than a child and you’re relieved that you’re able to humor him in some way.

“so, are you and megumi a thing?” he abruptly asks and glances at you as he sips his coffee.

“no, we’re not!” you titter, waving a hand in dismissal as you bring up the mug to hide your face from embarrassment.

“oh?” a glint of amusement and surprise shines in his green eyes. “are you sure?”

you blink at the question as heat warms your cheeks from the thought of dating your best friend. “yes, megumi and i are just friends. really.” 

“why? because you have a boyfriend?” toji pries, uncaring if he sounds intrusive to you and you only assume that he’s trying to strike up a conversation in some old fashioned way.

you just shake your head and laugh, “it’s not that, either.” 

“hmm,” he props his elbow on the table leisurely, head resting on his fist as he looks at you intently, as if in search of something. “you’re pretty hard to figure out.” 

“what do you mean? i don’t think so.” you smile, bringing up the mug to cover your face again so you can shy away from his intense gaze yet he thinks that it’s endearing and he finds himself grinning unwillingly. 

toji notices how you always try to look away when you get so shy over some simple questions. you’re just oozing with purity and innocence of a maiden and something dark and twisted inside him is craving to violate every part of it. 

“for a start, i can’t figure out why you don’t have one.” he says, tapping his fingertips on the table as his mind is running with sinful thoughts. 

“hmm, maybe because i haven’t found anyone interesting yet.” you finally lock your eyes with his as you answer, not wanting to come off as rude if you keep on talking without looking directly at the man.

“isn’t my son good for you?” he couldn’t care less to be honest; he only plans to test the waters and is even more aroused to learn that you’ve never been touched by a man before and he feels like a wolf that’s just ready to pounce on a lost, little lamb.

“oh, no, no!” why do you have to get so bashful? he’ll fuck you on this table if you don’t stop. “we just don’t see each other that way.”

he’s so lost in his thoughts and carnal desires that whatever you’re babbling seems to go in one ear and out the other.

“then, what do you think of me?” he asks nonchalantly with a smirk plastered across his face.

you blink at him once, twice. “uhh, what?” is he suddenly getting self-conscious? 

“you heard me. what do you think of me?” yet he doesn’t seem like it either.

“umm,” you ponder for a moment as you think of every adjective you can find in your head that wouldn’t come out offensive if you’re going to be honest with him. why would he even ask you such a thing anyways? and why would it matter to him? there’s nothing nice about him that you could exactly pinpoint from the past except for ‘scary’, ‘serious’ and some other things revolving around those.

“i thought that you were kinda... scary?” you blurt unsurely, mentally slapping yourself for even daring to say such a thing to him. unless it’s a vibe that he was going for, then you’d be relieved. 

it isn’t exactly what toji wants to hear but he laughs heartily, “really?” a shiver runs down your spine when he looks at you again, his eyes glimmering with daunt. “but are you still scared of me?”

“uh, no.” you laugh. “you’re actually really nice, mr. fushiguro.” 

“oh, that makes me feel better.” another grin etches on his scarred lips as he draws his gaze to your hands that are tensing and fiddling with your sleeves and your leg is bouncing; a perfect depiction of a trembling lamb cornered in his den– and he’s fucking starving. 

has he got you on edge? are you nervous? good. “but i think you should.”

a lump catches in your throat and your heart drops, “i- what?”

the chair emits a screeching sound and it stumbles backwards as toji abruptly stands up from his seat. sheer panic causes you to rise on your feet too, and your eyes dart to the chair, and the male, back and forth as your mind tries to get a grasp on the situation.

“mr. fushiguro..?” you whisper meekly, taking a step away and around the table as you notice him taking a careful yet threatening inch closer. 

“no, no. i’m not gonna hurt you.” toji (barely) reassures you as he continues creeping on his feet. but the sinister smile on his lips takes out every last bit of faith you had in him and the loud voice in your head keeps telling you to run for the door and never look back– fuck the rain.

 as if he can read through your thoughts, he warns. “but i will, if you run.” 

the smile on toji’s face turns smug when he sees you freeze in place upon his threat. being trapped under the unpleasant situation triggers your fight or flight responses and rapid heartbeat drums in your ears as you stand in trance and trepidation.

“that’s a good girl.” he coos, taking another step forward before you decide to throw a mug at him and dash towards the door as fast as you can. you assume that toji has pushed the table to the floor when you hear a loud thud, followed by his hasty footsteps as he catches up quickly behind you. 

the door that is finally within arm’s reach suddenly changes into a mirage when a strong pair of arms grabs you by the waist and your body floats as it lifts onto his shoulder. the huge contrast between the size of your body and his should let you know; no matter how much you try to resist, he will never budge. yet, your arms and legs still flail around in an attempt to punch and kick him and you’re screaming for him to let you down and just hope that anyone is able to hear your cries in spite of the thunderstorm. 

well, so much for luck.

“ah, ah. you don’t wanna do that.” there’s a mocking and amusing tone in his voice as he advises you. “you should save that energy later. juuust in a bit.” 

“mr. fushiguro– stop–!” you sob, watching your only escape slowly disappears out of sight when he turns to a corner and into a dark room. your body bounces onto a mattress before toji’s huge, ripped figure swiftly looms above yours and ties your hands together with a belt and onto the headboard. at this point, the illuminating lights through the windows are the only thing that aids your vision and you have to rely more on your senses.

“shh,” he shushes you with a finger against your trembling lips. “the neighbors will hear. and if they do, i want it to be because you’re getting fucked so good. so be a good little girl for daddy, okay?”

regardless of being terrified, you find yourself cringing over the nickname he refers to himself. hopefully, he won’t ask you to call him that either. “mr. fushiguro– i– please don’t do this. i- i won’t tell anyone.” 

toji tsks, taking his sweet time to admire your smaller body underneath his– the exposed, soft skin on your neck waiting to be bruised, chest heaving as your breath comes deep and short, and legs pressing together to secure your modesty; though will prove to be futile later. 

“i know you won’t.” his thumb grazes against your lips, mesmerized by its plushness as he imagines it wrapped prettily around his throbbing cock. “are you a virgin?”

you only nod your head, eyes wavering as you look at his darker ones before catching it shine with interest. 

“never had anything inside here?” he asks again, pressing your cunt against the fabric of your pants with his fingers. the dark room makes it hard to see, but your cheeks are turning red from humiliation and you look away before shaking your head no.

“are you sure?” toji’s thumb presses down on your clit and causes your body to shudder apprehensively.

“o-only my finger.” you audibly whisper through the white noise outside. 

oh, how exhilarating. guess the innocent looking ones can be lewd too. don’t you know that a cock would make you feel better? a big cock like his is definitely what you need. just a finger wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you! poor little thing. 

“then i got to teach you a few things, right? it’ll come handy later. boys love girls with experiences.” he promptly strips you off from your pants before carelessly throws it to the ground and kneels between your legs to keep you wide and open for him.

“you like to be touched here?” his finger reaches down to ghost over your clothed clit, observing you with lust filled eyes while you turn away from his gaze and remain unresponsive. “daddy is a very impatient person so i suggest you answer me.”

toji pinches your clit, and your body squirms with an elicited yelp. you can only guess (and hope) that he wasn’t referring to him touching you there but you answer anyway, “y-yes.”

he hums in satisfaction, moving down until his head stops between your thighs and in front of your sex. toji grabs your thigh and spreads them apart before flattening his warm tongue against your clothed bud, causing a shiver to run down your spine and it quickly draws your attention to him.

your face heats up in embarrassment when you see toji’s head dipped in front of your pussy, but he’s only calm and teasing as his jade eyes stare up to lock with yours to look for a reaction.

“you’ve never felt a tongue over here either, hm?” he sneers, rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb and you mentally curse yourself for feeling slightly aroused over his ministrations. 

“just let me go, please.” you try to close your legs, but to no avail when his rough hands push them away.

“you know, if you keep asking for ridiculous things,” toji tuts and grasps your supple thighs hard, nails digging painfully on your skin. “i might have to get rough on you. but you’re a smart girl and you wouldn’t like that, right?” 

“n-no.” you choke and fidget.

“good. because i only want you to feel good.” he offers a gentle smile and kisses the dented mark on your thigh. “so, let’s start over. you haven’t answered me.”

you nibble your lip hesitantly and look anywhere but him, “no.”

“see? all the more reason for me to show you what you’ve been missing out.” he chuckles, tugging your underwear to the side impatiently.

“fuck. such a pretty pussy.” he growls at the sight of your bare cunt. there isn’t a lot of slick yet, but it’s fine, he’ll make you get there. that’s the point of this whole ordeal, right?

your body quivers naturally once you feel the foreign sensation; wet, warm muscle prodding your puffy folds up to your clit and circling on it with the tip of his tongue teasingly as he observes you from below. 

your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are caught between your teeth as you try to restrict your whines from the undeniable pleasure rushing in your veins and he doesn’t stop– your pathetic attempt to deny him and your sentiments only drives him to push you over the edge even more. 

with a harsh suck on your clit, he manages to get you to squeal and you can feel him smirking underneath you. toji flattens his tongue and laps off your juices again before he takes you by surprise when he suddenly slides a finger inside your tight, wet cunt. 

“shh. it’ll feel good, baby girl.” he comforts when he hears you whimper at the pain inflicted and true enough, it soon begins to feel good. you’ve fingered yourself plenty of times before, but it feels different when he does it for you– his finger is thick and long that it reaches deeper than you’ve ever been able to.

toji notices you start to become quiet so he slides in another digit, eliciting yet another sob from you. the warm and moist cunny makes his cock twitch and he finds himself getting eager. your back arches from the bed when toji curls his fingers to stroke the bumpy tissues of your g-spot with every drag.

“feels good, yeah?” he grins arrogantly as your legs tremble under his hold. your breathing has turned erratic and your toes are curling as your mouth gapes in pitiful, broken cries that are just music to his ears. 

“answer me, sweetheart.” he presses down a thumb on your neglected clit, reminding you that he is not keen on being ignored and disputed. 

“y-yes.” you finally choke through pants and shame. though the answer comes out in hesitance, your body is more honest– pussy sopping and eliciting obscene squelches and it’s enough to satisfy him for now. 

your head thrashes side to side as you feel yourself about to tip over but you still refuse to beg toji for a release. 

“hah– fuck!” you whimper loudly when toji oh-so-generously sucks your clit again, fingers pumping faster inside your cunt, making your body feel even more tense with overbearing stimulation before finally pushing you over the edge and you break into a silent scream.

toji laps off your slick before he pulls out his finger into his mouth and licks them clean. 

“that’s a good girl. why don’t you taste yourself?” he climbs on top of you while you gasp for air from the intense orgasm and he easily pulls you into a fervour, sloppy kiss. you can feel the wet slick on his chin and you can taste yourself at the same time as he intertwines his tongue with yours. 

four.

out of spite and vexation, you found courage to bite his tongue hard and toji instantly pushes himself from you, his dark eyes express astonishment and agitation.

“fucking bitch.” he curses as his eyes narrow at you displeasingly before he takes off his pants and briefs to release his cock from its confinements. his cock is throbbing and thick, and you can almost see a trickle of precum on its head. you crumple at the sight as regret and anxiety washes over you.

“don’t worry, it’ll fit.” he says cockily upon the worrisome look on your face. “but since you like it rough, i’m sure you want to choke on it first.” 

“no– i’m sorry!” you shake your head but toji only lets out a scornful laugh as he disregards your pleas and props himself on the knees and over your neck.

toji slaps the tip of his cock on your lips, gesturing you to open your mouth but you purse them into a flat, thin line and refuse to obey. 

“open up. it’s a part of your lesson after all.” he snaps before squeezing your cheeks together. “it’ll get worse if you don’t listen to me.” 

“d-don’t wa-ant to– flea-shh.” you whimper and toji emits a long, deep sigh as he releases his grip. 

“i don’t like repeating myself.” his voice is laced with malice and chills crawls up your spine as his eyes look down at you demeaningly before you slowly open your mouth trepidatiously and wait for his next order. 

“no teeth. i think you’d know that much.” he patronizes before sliding his cock inside your mouth and he hisses as the warmth engulfs his throbbing cock. “that’s it. now, suck.”

and you have no choice but to obey submissively. you slightly lift your head and struggle to take his length as much as you can before running your tongue around to feel each prominent vein.

“i said suck, whore.” he commands through gritted teeth. you hollow your cheeks, compressing his fat cock tight between them as you bop your head up and down. 

“fuuuck, just like that.” toji groans as his hand reaches the top of your head and caresses you softly. you start to pick up the pace, slobbering his dick with so much saliva that it begins to seep from the corners of your mouth and it’s so wet and obscene– just the way he likes it. 

“it almost makes me think that this isn’t your first time.” his head falls back and hips begin to jerk until the tip hits the back of your throat, forcing you to take more than you could. you choke as tears start to well up in your eyes and the bedhead shakes when you try to tug your wrists. 

“what’s wrong? can’t take my fat cock?” he scoffs arrogantly. “you gotta work on your gag reflex, sweetheart.”

the muffles from your throat vibrate against his dick and toji groans in pleasure that he subconsciously rocks his hips, slapping your chin with his balls. your vision has become blurry and breathing becomes harder as you let him abuse your throat and your jaws ache before he abruptly pulls out and you can finally gasp for precious air.

“look at you,” his cock twitches with excitement when he sees the tears rolling down your cheeks from your doe eyes and he wipes them away with his thumb, making you flinch slightly, “are you sorry for making daddy mad?” 

toji always tries to articulate each word with appease. it’s never soothing per se when you can sense the threat entwining in his voice and it’s fucking you psychologically.

and it deems to be successful when you’re already trembling in fear underneath him. 

you’re uncertain whether he prefers you to speak or not, but your throat is sore so you meekly nod your head in response. it’s better than nothing, to be honest.

“good. open your mouth.”

your mouth is already parted for air but you assume that he wants to put his cock in again. submissively, yet dreadfully, you open your mouth wider and await for him to shove his cock back in but you’re surprised when toji spits in your mouth instead. 

it’s warm and disgusting; you’re just left gaping and repelled, and you want to spit it out but toji squeezes your cheeks together.

“swallow.” he orders. you quickly brace yourself and close your eyes before cringing as you gulp down the mix of saliva in your mouth and toji releases his grip once he’s certain that you’ve ingested. 

“i could’ve made you swallow my cum but i’d feel bad,” he chuckles sardonically. “what do you have to say?” 

“t-thank you.” you whisper vaguely and he accustoms his face to a simper. 

“good girl.” toji smashes his lips onto yours, yet his eyes are locked with yours ominously for a brief second– a telltale that he expects you not to pull up another stunt before they close as he deepens the kiss. 

obviously, nothing would benefit you whether you comply or defy, not until you’ve catered for his insatiable lechery. but you’ve learned your lesson and although you’re compelled, you finally relent as every ounce of resistance begins to drift from you. 

toji breaks the kiss and shifts lower, peppering greedy kisses on your neck before he catches the soft, chaste skin between his teeth to suck and form purplish bruising marks. he lifts up your shirt over your head and hastily unclasps your bra, causing you to shudder once the cold air hits your exposed breasts. 

large, calloused hands press your mounds before his mouth latches on one perky tit, while the other is tweaked with his fingers. experienced tongue draws circles and sucks punishingly, alternating with the other nipple. the headboard rattles as you keen over the stimulation and your eyes open in dismay when you feel something hard prodding your clit. 

he moves lower and spits on your cunt before propping on his knees to take off his tight shirt– through subdued glow, you can make out the outline of his toned abs and broad chest as his large build towers menacingly in front of you; even when he’s not standing on his feet.

“listen. daddy is going to release the binds, but do you promise to be good?” he asks, smearing the saliva with his cockhead and against your slit.

“yes. i- i promise.” you murmur appallingly; as if you have a choice in the matter.

toji leans over to unrestrain you then he observes you, expecting you to put up a fight but instead, you just remain still underneath him. 

he grins in satisfaction, getting off to the fact that you’ve fallen into submission before he shifts back into his prior position and bends your knees up to line his cock with your hole. a feeling of triumph stirs inside him when he’s reminded that he’s the ‘chosen’ one to defile your innocence.

“stop! it hurts–!” you wail and your hands clench the sheets when you feel toji’s thick cock stretching your virgin cunt slowly, but he ignores you, groaning at the warmth that engulfs him and the tight walls that clenches him as he selfishly pushes through. 

it burns. so bad. your chest heaves rapidly and you screw your eyes shut as your face twists to express pain and uncomfort. “please, please–! i can’t–”

“yes, you can.” his tone is indifferent as he holds you down since your body keeps on wincing until he finally fills you to the brim and he can see a bulge poking on your tummy. 

“fuck. haven’t been inside a virgin cunt for a while.” he mutters under his breath. “now, i know it hurts but i promise you’ll enjoy it. it’s just too bad that you get to have a big cock as your first.” he snickers nonchalantly and leans down closer to your face, making you jolt when you feel it inching deeper.

“if it makes you feel better– you’re fucking tight. just the way daddy likes it.” toji whispers in your ear but you can only freeze in fear and agony.

toji hovers above you, his hands firmly grip the headboard in front of him and he begins to move his hips; thrusting in and out of your pussy. 

your fists clench the sheets harder as a loud cry rips from your throat, “no! it hurts! please!”

but toji doesn’t seem to mind, his cyan orbs stare down at you coldly yet in focus as he relishes over the plush walls clamping down on his cock. 

“stop! stop– i- i don’t want–!” you continuously wail as you writhe in anguish before he suddenly stops pounding and he wraps his hand around your neck instead, instantly drawing your attention to him as he applies pressure in his hold. 

“if you don’t stop whining like a bitch in heat, i will fucking breed you like one.” he warns through gritted teeth, clearly agitated over your act of defiance. 

“you want this. you’re going to love this.” his words are sick endeavours to coerce you into another round of complete submission. 

but what else can you do? toji’s hand is so large that his middle finger and thumb almost reach each other as it clasps around your frail neck and you know he can easily crush your windpipes if he wants to.

“say it. you. want. this.” he seethes.

“i. want. this.” you barely croak each word and they’re slowly influencing your cloudy mind. as soon as he releases you, you soothe the pain around your throat with your hand as you gasp for air.

“fuck. don’t think i didn’t feel you clenching around my cock just now.” he sneers and situates himself again before ruthlessly and steadily continuing where he left off. 

you only close your eyes and bite your lips hard to stop whimpering as you mentally comfort yourself and dissolve every inch of your sanity; i’m going to enjoy it, it’s going to feel good soon, i want this, i want this.

soon enough, toji notices that your muscles have relaxed– suggesting that you’ve finally caved in as pleasure overtakes you so he fucks you deeper and faster before he falls on his elbows and you can feel his bangs tickling your face.

“that’s it, baby. you make daddy feel so fucking good.” he praises between grunts. you can feel the veins on his cock dragging against your walls and he’s right, it feels so good and your lips open in breathless pants.

you find your arms to loosely wrap around his neck and your legs around his waist as if clinging onto him for dear life as toji ruts into your cunny like a feral beast. 

“you like it, yeah? this is what you want, isn’t it?” 

through hazy mind, you can only manage to whimper an audible ‘yes’ as you feel an odd, yet almost familiar knot twisting in your lower stomach begging to snap and your nails dig into the skin of his broad back upon the intense sensation shooting through your body. 

a low, deep guttural sound leaves his throat when he feels your nails sinking and scratching his back– it prompts him to quicken his pace and you can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix over and over, causing your back to arch simultaneously. 

“i’m– i’m gonna–!” you keen as your body trembles in anticipation and your sopping cunt is clenching on his throbbing cock like a vice. 

“fuck yeah. cum on daddy’s cock.” toji urges and nips on the sensitive skin of your neck to tip you over the edge and your pupils blow wide as you break into a scream. despite being your second orgasm for the night, an overwhelming euphoria washes over you for the first time of your life; is this what it feels like? you don’t know, you’ve never had one (at least not from a cock) and your pussy is just fluttering, pulsing and creaming around his cock. 

“hah– fuck. good girl.” 

toji remains to snap his hips, fucking you through your high as you’re left in daze from your orgasm. toji can feel his balls tensing and his thrusts are turning sporadic as he inches closer to his climax. your whines and nonsense babbles are drowned by the feeling of pleasure that’s enveloping him and he doesn’t even have the resolution to listen to you gibbering when your cunny is just milking him, sucking him in like it doesn’t want to let go and he just wants to give what your greedy pussy asks for; to fill it up with his thick load until it’s full and leaking out of you. 

and daddy knows best, after all.

“shit– i won’t be able to hold it any longer. say you want daddy’s cum.” he grunts.

you’ve partly snapped out of your daze when you hear his voice again, and though you can’t see his face that’s already buried next to your head, you’re petrified and it’s making you feel dizzy and suffocated. 

“i– n-no. please not–” you sob through your raw throat.

but toji doesn’t listen and you don’t know if you’re relieved or not because if he does, you know that it’ll tick him off and it’s going to do you more harm than good– but you’re scared and it hurts, that you unwillingly start to snivel again.

“shut up. you’re gonna take it like a good cumslut.” he shoves two long fingers in your mouth, causing you to choke on them.

“daddy’s gonna cum in this pretty pussy and you’re gonna fucking take it.” 

toji’s grunts ring in your ears and you’re able to feel his cock twitching inside you before he finally releases hot ropes of cum– filling up and defiling your womb.

“y-you came inside..” you mumble once he takes out his fingers as you’re left entirely devastated and stupefied. 

“fucking did.” he pants, lifting his body up from you and pulls out his cock to shove back the dribbling cum that’s leaking from your abused cunny with his finger. you would wince but your mind is already numb and your body is sore that you can do nothing but burn holes through the ceiling above.

“don’t look so sad.” the room resonates with his chuckles and he gets off the bed to put back on his pants. toji walks over to the nightstand where a pack of cigarettes await him and he puts one between his lips and you can hear the flicking sounds of a lighter as he tries to burn the tip. 

“i can promise you that other guys wouldn’t be rough as me but one thing’s for sure,” he inhales the tobacco and exhales in a gratifying manner, “that will stay as the best fuck of your life.”

fat tears stream down your cheeks and you curl on your side, protecting your now-ruined-body as you quietly sob and your mind takes you back from how the ordeal even started and causes you to end up where you are right now– and it only makes you cry harder.

toji only lets out an exasperated sigh. he grabs his shirt from the floor and throws it on his shoulder before reaching the door.

“megumi won’t be coming home ‘til tomorrow. he said something about the train and the weather, so you can leave when you’re done. you know your way out.”

you hear the door close shut behind him and you’re left in the dark with nothing but the smell of his tobacco and the sounds of the drizzling rain accompanying you as you drown in your thoughts and griefs. 

how many mistakes have you made today? four? five? or more? 

you’ve lost count and you question yourself over again until you’re no longer able to care.

what’s done is done.

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

enjoyed this work? wanna buy me coffee? :)

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Fifteen. “eyes eyes eyes.”

word count: 5.9k (not including pictures) warnings: swearing

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist 

A/N: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know? anyway uh....... hope you like this... a lot is kinda going on in this part... but more details will come in the next chapter don’t worry i’m not scamming you 

_____

"I can't believe you," Dream scoffed from the other side of the phone, which was displaying only his eyes and up as Y/n's phone laid face up towards her ceiling. She didn't mind; he had pretty eyes and his blond hair poked out wildly beneath his hoodie and it was enough to make her only half focus on their conversation about her newest Minecraft build.

Y/n smiled as she glanced back at her phone to see him squinting at his screen in confusion even though there was no face on the other side, then looked back at her monitor. Neither of them were streaming but were bored so they decided to wander around on the SMP, continuing their all-day FaceTime call instead of transferring to Discord. They were on their fifth hour of FaceTiming at this point. Y/n had suggested multiple times switching to voice call instead since she wasn't showing her face, hoping he would say no so she could see him still, and each time he denied it because he claimed it felt more real when he could see her ceiling. Whatever that meant.

"I don't know what to tell you, bud. I'm just playing the game."

"But..." he pouted, she could tell by his voice... and by the eyes that were still glued to the call. "How are you so good?"

"Magic."

"I knew it."

She giggled and looked back to Minecraft, where she was looking at the massive hideout Sam had helped her build, complete with secret doors and tunnels and a whole lot of redstone. "Sam did most of it."

"Bullshit. Look at that," he said as he looked away from the phone and his green avatar punched the side of the build. "That has 'Bug' written all over it. You did that."

"Okay, I did do that part, but the cool parts like the secret doors and stuff are all Sam."

"Stop downplaying your skills. It looks good, Bug." His voice was clear and genuine and sent chills down her spine. For someone who want physically affectionate, she really wanted to give him a big hug. And... well... other things.

"Thanks, Dream," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he whispered back childishly.

"What in the..." Y/n said as she turned and saw a familiar Minecraft character with a white and red shirt in the distance. She pressed the zoom hotkey and stared at him as he filled her screen. "What is he doing?"

"Oh, speaking of Tommy," Dream started, clearing his throat as his avatar ran back and forth between the door of her hideout and a tree about ten blocks from it. "Um, I had an idea about, uh, the lake thing? The New Years' trip?"

"What's up?" she asked, turning to face him as she listened.

"Well, it's only about three weeks away and I was thinking—"

Dream was cut off as Tommy ran over to hit him with an axe a couple of times before running away.

"What the hell?" Dream grumbled as they watched Tommy sprint and jump in the direction he came from. The young boy paused when he realized neither of them were following, just looking in his direction.

<TommyInnit> did I scare you guys <TommyInnit> I did, didn't I <TommyInnit> I am very good at scaring people

Y/n laughed and typed her reply

<BugsyGames> not one single bone in my body was scared, tommyinnit <BugsyGames> try harder next time ig :/ <TommyInnit> JOIN VC RIGHT NOW <TommyInnit> VC <TommyInnit> VC <TommyInnit> VC <TommyInnit> VC <TommyInnit> VC

"Oh my gosh, he's so annoying," Dream mumbled with a small laugh but made no effort to do as the younger told.

<BugsyGames> idk if i really wanna HEAR you curse me out bc you already have over text multiple times <TommyInnit> VC <TommyInnit> VC

"Are you gonna join?" she asked, opening Discord on her other monitor.

"Hell no," Dream scoffed before his voice turned worrisome. "Are you?"

"Yeah, he's entertaining," she said. "And he won't leave us alone until one of us pays attention to him."

"Oh, you wanna be left alone with me, Bug?" he teased and she couldn't help but smile widely in embarrassment.

"Whatever you want to think I said, Dream." Y/n laughed, making Dream pout.

"Buuugg... just say you love me already," he whined jokingly.

Since she couldn't ignore the overwhelming butterflies in her stomach, she ignored him and opened Discord and looked at the voice channel Tommy was in. "Oh, Tubbo and Ranboo are there too, so it's worth getting cursed out," she told Dream before sliding on her headphones and joining. She moved one side off of her ear so she could still hear Dream over FaceTime if he spoke to her, seeing as he wasn't going to join the Discord call.

"Hi—"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?" Tommy started yelling quickly. "I'M NOT AFRAID TO FIGHT A GIRL, I HAVE FOUGHT MANY WOMEN AND HAVE WON EVERY TIME."

"Uh... geesh Tommy, no hello?" Y/n asked. "Why do you get in so many fights with women?"

"They question my manliness."

"Hm. Maybe work on making it less questionable?"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"What is... happening?" Ranboo asked.

"I don't really know. Tommy came over and punched Dream and then made me join vc so he could yell at me, I guess."

"Oh, that's where he went!" Tubbo said. "I had no idea, he just disappeared."

"I HAD TO GO HIT DREAM BECAUSE HE'S TALKING TO A FEMALE AND I WANTED HIM TO LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF HER."

"What is he saying to you?" Dream asked from the phone on the desk. "He's yelling at you?"

"No, it's just Tommy being Tommy."

"W-What?" Tommy asked.

"I was talking to Dream," she explained.

"I can get on and tell him to stop if you need me to," Dream offered before his keyboard started clicking. "Should I? Do you want me to?"

"No, Dream, it's okay. I'll just fight him."

"YOU'RE WITH HIM??" Tommy accused.

"No! We're on FaceTime."

"YOU'RE FACETIMING HIM?"

"Yup," she stated before quickly changing the subject since Tommy and Ranboo were both streaming. "What are my sons up to?"

"We're just trident-ing around talking about whether or not my or Tommy's accent is worse," Tubbo said. "He says 'grass' weird."

"Tommy's," Y/n voted, wanting to piss off the youngest more. "You have the voice of an angel, Tub."

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Bugsy and Dream are FaceTiming right now?" Tommy asked in a calmer, more mumbled but still frantic voice. "Cause, I mean, I just think it's a bit strange is all but if we're just going to breeze past it, I mean... you know? The two faceless Minecrafters are staring into each other's eyes while we all talk on Discord like nothing is happening."

"We aren't 'staring into each other's eyes'," Y/n corrected.

She paused when Dream giggled and said, "I bet you're staring into mine, Bug." She glanced down to see his full face beaming up at her with a playful smile. He had propped his phone up on his monitor so she could see where his elbows met his desk all the way to the top of his fluffy hair. Her cheeks and neck burned hot as she looked at the boy cuddled up in his hoodie once again. He folded his arms on his desk and placed his chin on his forearms, looking impossibly cuter as he stared at the camera. "There's no way for me to know you aren't."

"Shut up, Dream," she mumbled before speaking to the others again. "We're not even showing our faces," she lied. "Dream sorta is but not really."

"No need to lie to everyone," Dream said, still smiling, sitting up from his position. "This is my entire face. What, you don't want people to know you get to see me whenever you want? You have VIP access, baby, the people should know."

An abrupt laugh escaped her lips at the nickname. "Can you guys hear Dream?" Y/n asked the boys in the voice channel nervously.

"No, why? Is he telling you dirty things?" Tommy laughed evilly.

"Nope. Just wondering." Her face was on fire. She hit Dream's character in-game and watched him focus back on his computer with a goofy smile. He returned the favor by hitting her character back once even though she was continually dealing damage until he had half a and begged her to stop.

"He's probably flirting with her like he does when we're on call but, like, worse because no one else can hear him," Tubbo proposed before all three of the young boys gagged and yelled over each other.

"GROSS!!" Tommy shouted.

"Ew!! Mom, is there a dude flirting with you? That's disgusting," Ranboo gagged.

"I cannot stand you guys," Y/n laughed, making her voice as confident as possible so they couldn't detect her lies. "That's not what's happening."

"Do my words mean nothing, Bug?"

"Dude," she mumbled to Dream again. "I wish you could see how hard I'm glaring at you right now." He laughed in response.

A knock on Y/n's door snapped her out of her conversation and she quickly muted on Discord. "Come in!"

Naomi poked her head in and quickly put her hand up. "Oh, sorry!" she whisper-shouted. "I didn't know you were streaming."

Y/n shook her head and smiled. "I'm not. What's up?"

"TUBBO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Tommy screamed, making Y/n deafen also.

Naomi stood taller and dropped her hand to her side. "I'm just bored and want to do something."

"I do too, actually," Y/n admitted.

"You're bored?" Dream scoffed. "Bug, I'm offended!"

Y/n smiled widely and turned back to her phone to see the blond boy frowning. "I've talked to you all day. Can I not go hang out with my roommate?"

"No! Tell her to fuck off."

"Dream! She's literally right here, she can hear you!" Y/n covered her phone screen with her hand to hide Dream's face as Naomi walked closer, laughing.

"Naomi?" Dream asked.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck off."

Naomi laughed as Y/n gasped. "DREAM!" Y/n grabbed her phone and held it up to show one eye in the corner of the screen so he could see her glaring, but he wasn't looking.

"I'm just kidddinnnggg... obviouslyyy..." he dragged out. "Unless you do steal Bug away from me, in which case I'm not kidding."

Naomi was silent with her hand over her mouth, not wanting to freak out and make Y/n back out before Dream could see her eye. It was a small thing, but a huge deal.

The silence caused Dream to look down and his jaw dropped. "B-Bug!!"

"You see this?? I'm glaring at you. How dare you talk to Naomi that way," Y/n reprimanded teasingly, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice.

"WHAT? Is this how you felt when I showed my face just to prove a point?"

"Probably."

"You're doing the exact thing I did! You're just proving a point!"

"Yeah, but I'm not showing my whole face like you did, idiot. Just enough so you can see the glare."

"Oh my gosh. Okay, yeah, I see you glaring, stop glaring!" he giggled and Y/n's camera went back to only showing her ceiling as she smiled. "I'm sorry, Naomi!"

"You can't just joke like that to someone you hardly know," Y/n scolded as Naomi continued laughing. She knew Naomi had that kind of sense of humor, but Dream didn't.

"Who said I'm joking?" he asked.

"Oh, shut up. I can't stand you."

"I'm kidding! I'm sorry, Naomi. I was just kidding."

"I know," she reassured. "It's all good, don't worry. I know you love your Bug too much to hurt her friends."

Y/n saw Dream quickly pull his phone away from his face after he smiled shyly, and she liked to imagine that he was blushing at Naomi's accusation.

"Yeah, I guess she's nice to have around," he mumbled.

<Ranboo> bugsy? you still there?

"Wait, both of you quiet for a second," she told Dream and Naomi before unmuting and undeafening on Discord. "Yeah, sorry, what's up? I was defended and muted."

"You were so cryptically silent, it was a little scary."

"Sorry, my roommate is talking to me. I'm gonna head off, actually."

"Aw, but we hardly got to play with you!" Tubbo pouted.

"We'll play soon! I promise! But not you, Tommy. I don't like you."

"I DON'T LIKE YOU FIRST, YOU EVIL WOMAN."

"Bye, Tommy."

"Bye, Bugsy," he grumbled.

"Goodbye, mother," Ranboo said as Tubbo laughed out a, "Goodbye mom," making Y/n's heart shed a proud tear.

"Goodbye, my sons. Be good. Be safe."

"Bye!!"

She left the Discord and then left Minecraft. "Okay, sorry, continue," she promoted Naomi.

"I think it's so cute how you talk to Tubbo and Ranboo," Dream cut in. "It's adorable."

"It is," Naomi agreed. "Tommy, too. I know you pretend to hate him but we can tell you want him to be your son too."

"Never," she murmured, making both of them laugh. She slid off her headphones and grabbed her phone, careful to keep it pointed away from her face as she walked to her closet.

"Anyway, I just wanna do something. It's really nice out today, do you want to go to the park or ride bikes or something?"

"Yeah, sure." She ripped a hoodie off the hanger with one hand, making the hanger ricochet and clank against the closet ceiling.  

"Yeah, sounds fun," Dream agreed from between them.

Y/n laughed. "Sorry, bud, not you."

A deep frown etched onto Dream's face and Y/n laughed. "What are you going to do there that I can't join? You can just prop me up on a tree and sit next to the phone."

"If we ride bikes, I can't hold you. And if we go to the park we usually skate. Besides, we want to talk about how much we hate you anyway so we don't want you there."

"Bug!" he pouted. Dream paused before saying, "Can you give the phone to Naomi real quick?"

Y/n hesitated but handed the phone to her friend. She used her free hands to slip on the hoodie before tuning back into the conversation.

"You don't have to show me your face but I want you to look into my eyes and promise me something, Naomi," he said.

Naomi held the phone up to her face anyway and Y/n could see both of them looking at each other. "What's up?"

"Promise me you won't let Y/n fall and scrape her knee or something," he requested and Naomi laughed.

"I promise not to let your Bug get hurt." That was the second time Naomi referred to her as 'his Bug' and she was not opposed to the sound of it.

"Thank you very much."

"Great," Naomi said before her voice turned teasing. "Now that that's settled, Y/n, you're right he is cute!"

Naomi was a pot-stirrer. Always was, always would be. She knew what to say to make tension rise in the room whether it was between people who hated each other or people who secretly liked each other. Or whatever Dream and Y/n were.

While Y/n's face grew warm, Dream laughed.

"Hey, you're pretty cute too, Naomi. Should I tell George or does he already know?" Dream fired back, trying to embarrass her as much as she embarrassed Y/n.

Naomi's evil smile fell before a confident one took its place with a raise of her eyebrow. "Oh, he knows."

Y/n laughed abruptly and grabbed the phone back from her friend. "Okay, I'm hanging up now." Before I lose self-control and show you my whole face right here, right now, she thought to herself.

"Boooo," Dream whined. "Will you call me back later? Please?"

"Maybe," she teased. "Depends on if I'm clumsy enough to fall and break everything like you think I will."

"I don't think that. I just want you to be safe."

He needed to stop being so sweet. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm a pro."

"I believe it. Still, though."

"I'll be safe. I promise."

"Also, Bug, um..." he paused shyly. "You have really pretty eyes. Just... thought I'd tell you."

Heat rose to her face again and the look on Naomi's face said she could tell.

"Thanks, Dream."

Naomi nodded her head towards her Y/n's door. "I'll be in my room," she whispered and Y/n nodded.

"Sorry," Y/n said to Dream with a short laugh. "I don't know why I did that."

"It's okay," he reassured. "I appreciate it. I know it was just a small part of your face but it still means a lot to me that you showed me because I know you haven't shown anyone."

"I want to," she blurted out. "I really, really do."

"Want to what?"

"Show people my face." She squeezed her eyes shut and walked to her bed, setting the phone face up towards the ceiling. "Specifically you."

He paused. "Then... why don't you? I'm not pressuring you, I just don't understand. If you want to, then what's stopping you?"

"It's not that simple, Dream," she responded softly. "I'm scared."

Dream was silent for a few moments. "That's kinda what I wanted to talk about earlier before Tommy came in."

"Really?" she perked up. What was he going to say? That she seemed too scared so he didn't what her to go on the trip?

"Yeah, uh, I know you're nervous about meeting everyone and Sapnap and I were talking and– well, okay, so I assume you, Karl, and Naomi are going to go to Georgia together?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, so, yeah, what if– only if you want, obviously, but, you guys could come down to Florida and hang out with us for a few days and then, like, the five of us could go up to Georgia together? That way you meet two people first instead of everyone at once. So, like, since you haven't shown anyone, it'll be like dipping your toe in the water and if you meet Sapnap and I and absolutely hate it you can go back home before meeting everyone else." He finally concluded his proposition and Y/n's heart was so warmed. He was so sweet it was killing her.

"I'll still pay for all the travel stuff for you guys to fly down here," he added with a shy mumble at her silence, "and it's only a four and a half hour drive from here so Sapnap and I were just going to drive up and we could just rent a bigger car to fit comfortably. But obviously you can say no. Just a thought we had."

"Dream," Y/n started softly, her voice coming out way more fondly than she intended but she did nothing to fix it.

"Yeah?"

"You're the sweetest damn person I've ever met in my entire life."

"I just want you to be comfortable," he said softly.

"I think..." she paused. "I think that would be fun. I'd like that. I'll see what Naomi and Karl think."

His voice perked up slightly. "Really? Awesome. You guys can come down whenever. We're going to leave on the 26th to get there that night but whenever you guys want to come, you can. You could even spend Christmas with us if you want to come a few days earlier. Might be hard to find tickets this late since it's the holidays but I can see what I can find."

"That would be cool! The three of us were just going to hang out together so we don't really have plans for Christmas. I'll ask them but I think they'll like that too."

"Cool," he breathed. "If you want to say no later, you can."

"I don't want to say no, Dream."

He paused and his next word had his smile laced clearly through them. "Okay."

"Thank you–thank you for thinking of me," Y/n fumbled out. "It means a lot to me."

"Eh, it might be a little selfish of me, too. I just want to spend as much time with you as I can."

She beamed and bit her lip to not laugh with pure joy. "I'm probably selfish too because I'm going to make Karl and Naomi agree even if they don't want to go."

"I have no problem if you need to use physical force," he joked.

Y/n laughed and shook her head. "I should go save Naomi from her boredom."

"Okaaayyy..." he sighed. "If you must. Thanks for talking with me today."

"I had fun! I'm surprised you didn't bore me to death," she teased and he scoffed.

"Well apparently I did since you're ditching me!"

"Nooo, you could never bore me."

"Hmm... sure."

"Dream," Y/n dragged out and he laughed. "You're so clingy."

"Ugh, I know," he joked. "It's almost like I like you or something."

Y/n froze before mentally scolding herself. He was obviously joking, but it still made her heart skip some beats.

"Almost," she mumbled. "Alright, I'm going to go. I'll call you later if you're free and want to hang out on call more or something."

"Yeah, I'd like that," he said. "Have fun with Naomi! And don't get hurt."

She laughed. "I won't get hurt. Bye, Dream."

"Bye bye, Bug."

Y/n finally hung up and threw her phone on her bed with a small external scream. Naomi came back into the room a few moments later with a smirk on her face and leaned against the doorframe. "Done with the call?"

"Naomi..." she said dreamily. "He's... too freaking cute."

Naomi laughed. "Come on, lover girl, you can tell me all about it while we go outside. Bikes or skating?"

"I haven't gone biking in a while, let's do that."

"Perfect, I found a new trail recently I've wanted to try out," Naomi said as she grabbed her keys off the front table. "Let's go."

"OH, and then," Y/n recounted her story with Dream in detail (per Naomi's request) and she swerved on her bike a little in excitement."Then he said, 'it's almost like I like you or something'! What does that mean??"

Naomi laughed brightly and looked over her shoulder at Y/n. "Maybe it means that he likes you."

Y/n scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Don't get my hopes up."

"I mean it, Y/n. I know you think it's not possible, but just think about it. Do you really think you didn't like him until you saw him?"

Y/n looked up into the treetops that provided shade on their trail. She dreaded that question. She had thought about it so many times, tossing and turning countless nights asking herself the same question over and over. When did she start liking Dream? She had always had interest in him but when did her starstruck admiration and wanting to be his friend turn into wanting to hold his hand and kiss him good morning? When did that change happen? Could it have happened before she knew what he looked like? It would go against so much that she believed, so much she had been told, but... maybe it was true?

"I don't know," Y/n admitted softly. "I really don't know."

Naomi's heart broke for her friend, knowing her internal battle was killing her slowly. "Hey," Naomi said in a lighter tone than she felt. "It'll all work out. I promise."

"What if it doesn't? What if he really doesn't like me and won't ever like me?"

Naomi shrugged. "Then... then he missed out and someone better will eventually come along."

Y/n nodded, wanting to talk about something a little happier. "So... I showed him my eye."

"You did," Naomi said cautiously. "I wasn't going to bring it up, but, damn dude. How do you feel?"

"Good. Great. I know it's small and insignificant but it doesn't feel that way."

"I don't think it's insignificant. It definitely shows you trust him a lot."

"He said I have pretty eyes," Y/n whispered excitedly, making Naomi laugh.

"You do! You really do."

"Speaking of thinking things are pretty, George knows?? What does that mean? Have you guys video called or what? I've been so stuck in my pity party that I have no idea what's going on with that!"

Naomi turned pink but her confident smile never faded. She slowed down and Y/n followed suit, both taking drinks from their water. "Can we sit for a minute?" Naomi asked as she nodded towards a large tree trunk. Y/n nodded and they sat down together, bikes haphazardly thrown to the side of the trail.

"So?"

"So," Naomi started. "George."

"George," Y/n prompted. "What's going on?"

"I like him a lot. And... he told me he likes me."

Y/n raised her eyebrows and beamed at her friend. "Really? Naomi, that's great! That's so awesome, I'm so happy for you!"

Naomi let out a small squeal before blushing. "I know. We're both a little worried because of long-distance but we decided to not think about it until after the trip. Then we'll work out how often we want to see each other and stuff."

"Wait, so, are you guys, like, dating?"

Naomi hummed. "No? But I have joked about how I'm going to kiss him as soon as I see him and it always makes him turn bright red and he just laughs and is like, 'you're an idiot', so that's a good sign."

Y/n laughed. "Yeah, sounds like George."

"Sorry I haven't told you sooner. I just feel like since you're so confused about everything with Dream that it would be like I'm bragging or something? And I didn't want to make you sad that I'm talking to this boy so much and—"

"Naomi," Y/n smiled and grabbed her arm. "It's okay. I'm not upset by it. I'm so so happy for you, really."

Naomi let out a breath of relief. "Thanks, Y/n. You're a really good friend."

"You make it easy to be a good friend to you," she said with a smile and a scrunched nose. "You're the best. I love you."

"I love you too," Naomi giggled and threw her arms around Y/n, forcing a hug even if she didn't want it. Y/n accepted it anyway, hugging her friend back tightly.

"Alright, break's over. Let's finish this thing. How much more do we have to go?"

Naomi checked the map on her phone. "About a mile. Think you can manage not falling off for another mile?"

"What?"

"I promised Dream I wouldn't let you get hurt."

Y/n rolled her eyes fondly. "He's so stupid."

"Maybe, but you like it."

"Who on Earth knows why? Oh! That reminds me," Y/n said as she got back on her bike and rode slowly next to Naomi. "I forgot to mention a huge detail."

"Ugh, you never stop talking about him," Naomi teased. "Just kidding, what happened? I want to know everything."

"This involves you and Karl. How do you feel about taking a detour to Florida before the trip?"

______

When Y/n got home, she showered while Naomi made them dinner. "Today was fun," she said as she sat down at the kitchen table. "We need to hang out more, just the two of us. Thank you so much," she added as Naomi handed her a plate off food.

Naomi nodded. "Agreed. But when do we ever have time when you aren't streaming and I'm not doing school or working?"

"Hmm, true. For a job with a flexible schedule, I don't feel very flexible. Maybe I should promise to join less streams."

"But then I can't join streams," Naomi joked with a laugh.

"Just ask George. I'm not your closest streamer friend anymore apparently," she fake pouted and Naomi blushed.

"He wants me to join one of his streams except neither of us want anyone to know so he thinks it'll be suspicious if it's just him and I."

'Wait, no one else knows you two have been talking?"

"Well, Dream does based on his joke earlier but you're the only person that either of us have told that we're, like, actually talking."

"Oh, I feel so special!"

Naomi laughed. "Good. You are."

Y/n smiled and looked down as her phone vibrated on the table.

"Boyfriend calling?" Naomi teased with one eyebrow quirked.

Y/n stuck her tongue out. "Wouldn't you like that?"

"I would like that. Date him."

"Oh, shut up," Y/n said with a laugh. "But actually, Dream invited me to get back on and hang out."

"So I was right?"

"No."

"Well, go ahead, I won't stop you."

"Thanks, Naomi. I had fun today, thanks for forcing me out of my room and for dinner."

"Anytime dude," she giggled. "Put that sponge down, I'll clean up."

"But you made dinner. Let me help."

"No! Go, your boyfriend is waiting for you. I got it."

Y/n ignored her and started cleaning dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.

"You're the worst. Love you."

"Love you!" Y/n called back as she walked to her room. She got on her desktop and opened Discord while she waited for Minecraft to load.

"Who just joined?" Tubbo asked in a tired voice. "Oh, Bugsy, hello again!"

"Hi!" she greeted back. "How's everyone doing?"

"Good, good, good. How was your, uh, thing? Bikes... or something?" Ranboo asked.

"Yeah, I went on a bike ride with my roommate. It was fun! The weather was super good today so it was good."

"Is it the roommate who's coming on the trip with us?" Tubbo asked.

"Yup," she replied. Ranboo fake whined and Y/n's heart hurt a little. "Ranboo I wish you could come."

"Me too. It would be fun but also very scary," he chuckled and Y/n nodded. "But I'm busy anyway."

"I'm terrified," she admitted. "So I fully understand."

"It's going to be good, Bug," Dream reassured softly, sending butterflies to her stomach. "I promise."

"Why are you terrified?" Tubbo asked.

"Um... just... you know... showing my face to everyone," she said with a small laugh. "Kinda weird." Though, admittedly, she was much less nervous than a few hours ago before she showed Dream her eye.

"Well, Dream has seen you, hasn't he?" Ranboo asked.

"No, what makes you think that?"

"He hasn't?" Tubbo spoke up. "I'm shocked! I could have sworn he had."

"What, why? Dream asked.

"You guys are just super close so I guess we assumed," Tubbo explained.

"No, we are close, Bug is just a tease," Dream joked and Y/n scoffed.

"Oh, whatever. You've seen more than anyone else."

"What?" Ranboo asked with a slight panic in his voice. "What, uh, what does that mean? Oh gosh."

"She showed me her eye today!" Dream announced like it was a huge deal. Which, it kinda was. "But she's a tease because that's all she showed."

"Why do you want to see her so bad, huh Dream?" Ranboo teased. "Hmm???"

"So I can call her pretty without her yelling at me that I can't know," Dream stated bluntly.

Y/n buried her face in her hands, the Minecraft welcome screen long forgotten, and laughed. "I cannot stand you, Dream."

"Awe!!" Tubbo cooed. "Bugsy, give the poor man a break, why don't you show him?"

When she normally would have taken that sort of comment to heart and would have beaten herself up about not showing him, she lifted her head to look at her screen. 'Give the poor man a break'.

"No, Tubbo, she doesn't owe me anything," Dream said with a nervous laugh. "Don't pressure her!!"

"I'm not! I'm not pressuring her to do anything!" Tubbo defended. "I was just joking! But it would be so easy to just send a picture of your face."

"But she doesn't want to and I respect that. Ranboo, are you still on the SMP? Where are you?"

Y/n tuned out the conversation, which had quickly changed topics, scrolling right to the picture she found the other day of her sitting on her bed. She didn't think twice. It just felt right.

Sent

"So, the next manhunt is going to have five hunters or what? Like what's changing?" Ranboo asked. "I think it's super cool that you're continuing the series."

"Yeah," Dream started to explain. "I'm trying to see who would be the best to have as the fifth person to make it—"

Y/n's heart pounded in her ears as she listened to the new silence, waiting for some verbal indication from Dream that everything was okay. That he saw the picture and that everything was still okay.

But he was dead silent.

"Dream?" Ranboo laughed. "Uhhhhh...."

"Uh.." Tubbo laughed too. "Did he break? Dream?"

Y/n bit down on her hoodie sleeve in anticipation and excitement, surprised that there were butterflies in her chest instead of raging thunderstorms of fear.

A loud sound banged through her headphones and her eyes darted to the Discord to see it came from Dream's mic. "Dream?" she asked softly. Did this man just knock something off of his desk?

His regard for them being on call with others completely evaporated. "Holy shit, Bug," he breathed out. "I-Is that you?"

"Sure is," she hummed.

"What the hell?!" he shouted, joy and surprise laced in his voice.

"Wait, what happened?" Tubbo asked before sounding excited. "Did you actually send him a picture of yourself?"

"Mhm," she hummed. "Maybe."

"AHHA! YOU BROKE HIM!" Tubbo laughed.

"Error: Dream.exe broke," Ranboo teased. "Man's files broke at the sight of Bugsy Games. Headlines tomorrow: Bugsy Games murders DreamWasTaken with a selfie."

"Oh, shut up," she breathed.

"Text me back right now," Dream demanded.

Y/n giggled as the other two teased Dream but she picked up her phone and found his one-word response.

Seconds later, Dream's voice was back in her ears. "Uh... I'm gonna get off. I have a lot to process."

Tubbo and Ranboo laughed loudly. "A lot to process?? HAHAHA! Just say you're in love with her and move on."

"WhaaAATT?" Dream yelled. "I-I'm not in love with her, what the hell is wrong with you, Tubbo?"

Y/n laughed, agreeing with him even though it kinda hurt. He didn't have to sound too shocked at the accusation.

"Have fun processing," Ranboo said. "Are you staying Bugsy?"

"Nah, I'm gonna get off too. I'm pretty tired."

"Are you going to be in Big Q's stream tomorrow though?"

She hummed. "I don't know. I didn't know he was streaming tomorrow."

"Oh, I thought he invited you?"

"Guess not. He just lost points."

Dream laughed. "Good."

"Well... we should stream together soon," Ranboo said. "I think that would be really cool."

"I do too! We definitely should. If you have any ideas or anything let me know, okay?"

"Yeah, I will!" he promised. "Talk to you later."

"Bye guys," she said before disconnecting. She noticed Dream linger in the call for a little bit even though he said he was leaving and she decided to get ready for bed, turning off her computer and walking to her closet. She was stopped by some texts though. Priorities.

PREVIOUS | NEXT

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[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my fic recs

a list of all the fics I recommend! part 2!

* = mature content

feel free to send in your recs so i can check them out!

@sunflowervolvimp3 - changes*, 42 hours*, pt II*, hades! harry masterlist,  

@adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy - i’ve got you*,  fixer-upper*, demon!harry masterlist, hades!harry masterlist 

@adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy and @sunflowervolvimp3 - you’re someone I just want around*

@tokyoharry - you’re short,  little white lie, pt II, tell me you love me, never in a million years, sleepy harry, tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it,   

@songbirdstyles - white wedding*, let it bleed*, early risers* 

@harrysgoldenline - burnt cookies, gone too long, burden, the best doctor, dizzy, inexperienced

@lilliagradiewrites - flinch

@honeyskins - honey and wildfire*, she flowers; he feasts*

 @permanentcross - it’s about balance*, more about babies, pain kink*, camping, pt II*, pt III*, not fake*, orange*, 12 hours in miami*,  reverse orange*,  too much*, more about waiting*, protect,  hot and cold*, hello love*, intimacy, hold your son, missing kisses

@trulymadlysydney -  drunk in love, family matters*, soaking wet*, live and die, pt II, pt III, wait for me in the sky, all tied up

@vocalharry - thirst tweets

@floralsatin - harry teaching you how to touch yourself*, squirting*

@floral-suits - basically all these blurbs + concepts

@wellbeafinelime - locked out, basic fucking t-shirt

@majorharry - polished*

@stylesharrys - 7 hours*

@harrybutterflies - twelve*

@svnflowervol666 - harry’s wife doesn’t want him in the waiting room, harry helps deliver your baby, your baby won’t go to sleep, crisp trepidation, doing his baby’s hair and facetiming mitch, zane lowe interview

@andwhenshesays - yellow*

@mymedicine -  occam’s razor

@stylesharrys - painting harry’s nails, you’re sick and he takes care of you, he can’t sleep without you, he helps you through a seizure, he calls you annoying during a fight, you color his tattoos  

@harryforvogue - wake up sunshine, sleepy angel, cold morning, warm harry, 20 things harry loves- fluff, 30 things harry loves- smut

@oh-honey-styles - lazy fall saturday, you’re a pest 

@bfharry - mani pedis with harry, he finds your vibrator*

@gucciharrywritings - you’ve never had an orgasm*, just a bit nervous*, take my money, under the weather  

@roseonhissleeve -  a white t-shirt

@harryysstyless - cuddling with harry,  painting nails with harry, holding hands with harry, bad dream,  gotta get better, my only angel

@stylesberries - rainbow cardigan

@nationalharryleague - in the long green grass

@snlhostharry - try try again

@hstyles-1994 - underneath the tree

@secret-rendezvous1d - literally everything under “pregnancy, labor, and delivery”

@harryhoney-bee - vulnerability

@parkers-gal - intoxicating

@bxtchforstyles - i’ll get there

@wholesomestyles - don’t you shy away from me*, pt II*, talk to me, on the edge 

@onedirectionfantasieslove - inexperienced, pt II* 

@harrieheaux - cold feet, cookie crumbs, christmas*

@imaginexxharry - slow down, first kiss, rape, i’m going to take care of you, ok?  wait, why are you crying?

@smugzayn - a cheater (at games), a cheater (in dreams), he steals the covers, playful*, you’re not jealous*

@muffindaddystyles - happy meals, panic attack, needles*, kismets

@moonchildstyles - aster*, valentine’s day*, first time*, first fight, sleepy, meeting the parents, clingy, jealous

@all-things-fic - shit talking, first kisses, stay still*

@idk-who-she-is - snowed in, locked out

@for-fucks-sake-h - go slow*,  bare your soul*, addicted*,  sick harry, pt II, pt III, painting his nails,  

@hazzasgayvodka - panty thief*,  inexperienced*

@harrysbubba - euphoria*, look at me*, walk it like you talk it*

@meetmymouth - gooey*

@harrysgoldenbum - gotta say it*

@sweetcreatureinthedark - loving you’s the antidote

@iconicharry - harry loving on her, you are drunk and harry is endeared, tell it to my heart*

@pingutats - be this close, forever and ever*, dirty, sweet, and you’re my girl*, at last!* kissing your scars

@1994sunflower- sucker punch*

@carolina-writings - good vibrations*

@itsnsfwalways - tease* 

@looselucy - masterlist, the faux affair,  (i don’t think these links work on mobile)

@honey--fics - drunk*

@harrywritingsbyme - that time*, finish line*, baby buying,  behind the cover, concept # 11*, 17*, 3 am, teach me*,  harry plays with you*,  decisions*

@teaspoon-full-of-sugar - tangled up in blue, sleeping on the blacktop, a flower for a flower*, lesson*

@edgeofmyniall - lights on*

@autumn-sunflowers - silent treatment, on the pool steps, you’re shaking, in sickness and health,  my entire world,  love and protect 

@thinkingoutlouddblog - only for you

@severestyless - false god* 

@harriesclit - squirting*

@aqua-harry - ruin you*,  50 things harry does, 50 things harry does (fluff), 50 things harry does (smut)* 50 things harry does (new dad)

@berrynarrybanana - pink lemonade*

@angelisverba - mafia harry*

@sorrynotharry - relief*, safe with me, watching a movie, sturdy*

@ever-since-kiwi - you’re sick,  the interview, fake it, he’s sick

@daaydreamy - over the hill

@meet-me-in-the-kitchen - bad boy!harry, angel in his devil eyes*

@heartbreakweatherharry - showerhead* first tattoo 

@harry-writings - he was abused by his ex,  pt II, 

@haaarry - eating disorder, masterlist, cute post, harry looking after you on your period 

@and-im-okay-with-it - harry makes his baby cry at a concert, period, coming out,  jealous, anxiety attack, he makes his baby cry at a concert,  

@aestheticwritingz - ceo harry styles* pt II*

@inkedangelhaz - minor accidents

@harryimaginedstories - needing comfort

@havin-a-wee - every little thing, soaked*,  tiger tattoo*, positions*, red handed*

@awideworldoffanfics - help comes to those who ask

@stylesunchained - shave* that’s my job*, panties on*

@hsogolden - tastes like...*

@tobesolonely - queen anne’s coffee, love languages*, sweet as honey, fair play*,  house hunting 

@jawllines - you’ve never been with anyone*, pt ii*, best friends, vampire imagine*

@watermelonlovershigh - how he eats you out*, he uses toys on you*

@goldenbluesuit - let me see you*

@justice4canyonmoon - he’s insecure, let me make you feel good*, holiday*

@bopbopstyles- camille is in the crowd at a concert, he shaved and you’re mad

@legitlaur - lightweight

@stylesloveclub - angel series 

@harrystylesgotmefuckedup - he’s really forward, just kidding, unless, safe with me, behind every man, you’re really pretty, i’m having your baby 

@harrysgloves - he finds out you have depression, this will be our year

@blessedbyharrystyles - praise kink*

@idontknowhernow - who you belong to

@ch3rrybabyhon3y - morning after, sex therapist*

@inkedangelhaz - sweatshirt, you’re safe now, true friend

@wroteasongabouther - are you ok?

@leeroysdancer - 35 things harry does as your boyfriend

@aahhlliiss-writes - little accident

@jarofstyles - scared of rain, pt 2

@strawberryystyles - bubble baths and cuddles

@hier--soir - light switch

[xsugarysweetsx]

hehe the way I smiled when I saw that your requests r open!!Thank you😗

May I request Cherry X Reader where they r in an arranged marriage. Like maybe the reader is from a traditional family and she agrees to it anyway since she loves her parents but is low-key scared of being his wife/a mother. They have a rocky start but end up falling in love. Maybe one day cherry takes her to S to see him race and meet the gang and she loves it. You can make it spicy at the end if you like 👀

idk why but I always think about this when I see him and also braiding his hair coz it's so much prettier than mine 😒💖

A/N:I don’t understand how a man can be so beautiful// much longer than I expected it to be....

Please enjoy~🍰

Warnings; Some mention of smut; Nothing too detailed, but it’s there

*******************************************************

“Come here your kimono isn’t tight enough“ your mother said as she went behind you to tighten it even more than before 

“Mom! I can’t breath if it’s this tight!“ you said almost wheezing for air.

“You have to make sure your waist looks small and appealing” she said, even though, looks are not everything in a relationship. As much as you didn’t want to, you had to look your best today, it was important. You were going to meet the man you were to marry. You were part of an important family in Japan, and of course your family was very traditional. This only meant you were already expecting an arranged marriage.  

 Today you were meeting with him for the first time. From what you heard, he was a successful calligrapher, and popular with women. You didn't quite know how to feel with that, but this was your future. Most people wouldn't agree with arranged marriages but, you love your parents and this is what they wanted.

They told you that he was a gentleman, and very respectful. Well your hopes were up now, hopefully you’re not disappointed. Could you possibly end up in a good marriage? walking into the home you were greeted not by someone work there, but by a voice.

“Welcome, master Kaoru is waiting for you in the meeting room.“ for someone who is traditional he sure had a good AI system. Walking off to the right your father opens the sliding door and there he was. A young man with long pink hair and glasses, he wore traditional clothing and seemed very proper.

“Mr & Mrs Y/L/N, welcome please take a seat.” Not a hint of emotion on his face.

He was stoic but not cold. He poured you all some tea and your parents begin to discuss the marriage. Now that you say there and listened to everything, it really started sinking in. You were getting married to a complete stranger. You didn’t know the first thing about marriage! Or being a wife! Oh gods.....what if they expected children??

A million things were flooding your mind, you felt so lost. In all honesty, you were scared of what was to come..

“Y/N..” you were brought out of your thoughts by your mother gently shaking your shoulder “are you alright? You look sick”

“O-oh, yes I’m fine!“ you assure her swallowing the lump in your throat

“If you say so, we need you and Mr.Sakurayashiki to sign the papers as well. In 2 weeks time there will be a wedding ceremony but for now, we must fill out the papers.“ you watch Kaoru take the pen read the line and signs his name next was your turn.

He hands you the paper and pen, you bite your bottom lip as you read ‘spouse sign here’. You let out a shaky breath as the ink forms your name on the paper. After some more discussions on the wedding it was your time to leave. You all thanked him for tea and his time. Before you walked out the door he asked t speak with you for a moment, making your heart drop. You parents wait outside as you have a word with the pink haired man.

“Y/N, I just want you to relax, I noticed you were nervous before and you should know I won’t mistreat you and will try to be a proper spouse“ 

“Oh, uhm thank you Mr-“

He interrupts you “Please call me Kaoru“

<><><><>

Just as planned the wedding happened 2 weeks from then. You couldn’t stop blushing that day, from anxiety, to shyness, to even Kaoru. He looked very handsome that day, and he was just as much as gentleman. The ceremony was calm and heartfelt, friends and family gathered to witness your union. He saw you were very nervous that day so, instead of a general kiss he gave you a quick peck.

Only for you to duck you flustered face, he found it quite cute actually. He thought you looked beautiful that day in traditional wedding attire. He took mental note son how you were as a person. Although you seemed somewhat intimidated, you were considerate and kind. You helped people who needed it, and you put others before yourself. He just hoped this marriage will have a good outcome.

———

“We don’t have to do this” he simply said beginning to disrobe

“But-“ usually it was on the first night of the wedding when. It should happen

“If we get to that stage in our relationship, then you can tell me. You don’t have to force yourself. I can leave the room until you’re done getting changed” he left the room so that you can change. You take a moment to assess the situation, and you smile to yourself

“How considerate...“ you think to yourself. after changing, you both ordered room service and have dinner for the night. He was nice to talk to, it had some interesting topics to share with you. Even his calligraphy job seemed interesting. He offered to take a different room while you slept in this one's may be comfortable, but you said it was okay and you were fine with sharing a bed.

he's not like most men I hear about an arranged marriages. He's not forcing you to do anything, he's asking if I'm comfortable with everything. All the stories really kind of scared me into this, maybe it won't be so bad....maybe....

<><><><>

“Y/N, get dressed we’re going out tonight“ he says coming to you and kisses your cheek. It has been about 11 months, almost a year, since you married and it has been better than you thought. of course you had fears of Nami and expectations of a “good wife”. He made sure to tell you how much of a good job you were doing, even if you didn't do much. He thought you were perfect the way you are. He also believe that he could trust you enough to share secret with you--he was taking you to “S”

Usually you both go to events together, especially ones that associated with his work. But tonight was different he had different attire on. He wore his hair in a ponytail, no glasses and a mask covering the bottom portion of his face.

“Where are we going? A costume party?“ you joke 

“After seeing one person you mat think that“ he said but was still serious about you getting ready ““make sure you dress comfortably you don't need to wear kimono for this.” he gave you more detail “Now listen to me, where we are going you cannot speak of after. Not to me, nor to your parents or anyone else if they know about it.“

“Huh? Are we joining some secret society?“ you giggle coming back out in some jeans and a t shirt with a sweater. 

“In a way, let’s go.“ if you thought tonight was strange you only got stranger, you would expect a person like him to have a motorcycle. Or to be carrying a skateboard for that matter, just who was this person and was he really your husband. Holding on to him you take off into the dead of night. eventually make it to the gate where he showed an s-shaped sticker and was granted entry. There multiple women started to scream 

“Cherry!!”  “Master Cherry!!” Were they referring to Kaoru?

“Yo Cherry, ya made it- and you finally brought a girl with ya. It’s about time” a tall muscular man with green hair said patting Kaoru on the back roughly. Next came a man with dramatic makeup and a cape. Two boys who seemed to ebe in high school, one with red hair and the other with blue. Finally a much younger looking boy with a cat hoodie. Huh, interesting crowd...

“Get off me!“ he said kicking him in the ass “This is Y/N, she’s my wife“ he said standing next to you and all their jaws drop

“Cherry is married?!“

“Huh, she’s pretty quiet compared to these girls...it’s kinda nice“

“Damn, and to think you could have gotten anyone but got married.“ Kaoru seemed very annoyed at this point 

“Yes I am married, she’s better than the screaming women here, and I will not toy with women like you do!!“ he answered all their questions in one go “Y/N, this is a place where skateboarders come to race, it’s called ‘S’, these are JOE, MIYA, Reki, Langa, and SHADOW“

“H-hello..“ you wave to the small group and they waved back 

“Y/N, do you mind stay here with Reki and Langa? I need to race and I’ll be back“ he asked laying hand to the top of your head and you nod. He leans down and places his covered lips to your forehead. He then picked up his board, it was black with some purple lining and goes to the start. 

There he and JOE get ready to race as a traffic light counts their start. After it turns green they were off like rockets. It was still a lot to swallow...how he kind of had a double life and you were just now finding out about it. It was a bit overwhelming when you really watched him go. The way he picked up speed and rounded corners, made you hold your breath and gasp with each trick he did. 

When they approach the finish line he had won and the crowd was chanting his name. They both made their way back bickering about who was the best skater, when they were both equally amazing. Crowds joined around them but you just stayed behind still processing everything. It wasn’t a bad thing, but you were just wondering so many thing. Cherry pushes his way through the crowd and to your side lifting your head without warning captures your lips in a kiss. 

This was the most intimate you had been with him, and in public! The crowd went quiet and some of the girls there complained or whined about not being in your place. After he pulls away he whispered to you

“Let’s go home...“ and you were on your way back to the comfort of your home. That night he had made love to you for the first time ever. It was passionate, and steamy, and full of love. He was your first ever so he made sure to go slow for you. Everything about it just felt so good, the way he held and kissed you. He handled you like glass but did not fail to meet your pleasure.

That night was when you opened up about your fears of being his wife

“..and seeing how amazing you were tonight only made me more aware of who you were. I just...hope I can live up to your standards as a wife, and don’t get me started on children. Imagine having a plain mother“ you vented to him as he held you close 

“Don’t say that,“ he snapped back “You’re an incredible wife and you’d be an even better mother one day. When I heard about the arrangement I was honestly nervous. And the day I saw you only raised my anxiety, I thought you were stunning, and your shyness only made you cuter“ he admits with a chuckle 

“I guess....we’re both nervous wrecks who married each other then?“ you giggle looking up at him as your head lays on his chest 

“You’re my nervous wreck“ he said poking your nose with his finger “...I have something else to tell you...“

“What’s that?“ you ask. He cranes his head down toward you 

“...I love you“ he whispered as he catches you lips in a kiss

*******************************************************

I hope this was okay!❤️

[malleux]

uh hey! idk if you take request on kazuha but yea. im a little bit embarrassed rn. so can i request in teacher? where kazuha is the teacher and the reader is a single parent? yea, just like that. idk how to explain well, sorry!!

hope.

-> teacher!kazuha x fem!parent!reader

-> cw: kazuha has a depressing life

a/n: i know no pronouns were specified in this request and normally when that happens i’d make it g/n, but for this story i wanted a fem!reader. also, if anyone wants a part 2 to this i would be happy to oblige, just cause i have so many ideas for it lol!

a part of my au event

Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Purple.

Colors splattered across the paper, coating it in an array of paint that would definitely soak through and stain Kazuha’s table later on. The child that sat in the chair across from him smiled proudly at his creation before running off to his play area when Kazuha gave him the “okay”.

Kazuha watched the class of five-year-olds closely as they completed their tasks for that hour, making sure they were all able to do their independent work with ease. The lesson was on rainbows today, how they towered and contrasted against the blue sky and yet blended into a beautiful picture all the same.

The six colors were symbolic of hope- something the man had been needing lately as his life began to blur into one long, consistent, bleary day.

He sighed and pressed a button on his desk, a bell resounding through its little speakers and telling the kindergarteners to clean up their work space. They got to work immediately, packing up their supplies for the day into their bookbags and getting ready for dismissal.

Saying goodbye to the kids was also a depressing part of the day.

They would wave to their teachers from their car seats and tell them that they were going to McDonalds and then to the park with their parents- and compared to Kazuha, alone in his little classroom, it was a bit sad.

It was stupid- being jealous over a kindergartener’s life, of all things. But Kazuha’s life had lacked any color for the longest time. Any bit of fun sprinkled into his lackluster routine would be welcomed. He dreaded the time all of his children went home, since they were the lights of his life right now. But, it was 30 minutes after the bell had rang and he wasnt alone yet.

“Is your mama late, Hana?”

A little girl with bright eyes looked up at you from her spot on your rug. “Yes ma’am! And she’s supposed to take us for waffles today, too!”

“Waffles?” He questioned her, twirling a finger around her soft hair. Hana seemed to lean into his touch.

“I take her out for waffles every Friday after school.” A gentle voice answered.

Hana stood up and rushed over towards the person, who Kazuha now recognized as an incredibly gorgeous woman. He followed the girl over to her mother and held out his hand, a small smile upon his face.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m Hana’s teacher, Kazuha Kaedehara.”

“Yes, nice to meet you!” You took his hand and Kazuha swore his heart stopped. “Hana’s told me a lot about you. She absolutely adores you.” You giggled.

Kazuha liked your laugh.

“Momma, can Mr. Kazuha come with us to get waffles?” Hana tugged at your shirt and you looked from your daughter back to him, smiling apologetically at her antics.

“Baby, I think Mr. Kazuha may be busy-“

“I’m free.”

Both of you were stunned at Kazuha’s brazen interruption- his cheeks growing red and yours widening back into that gentle smile that he already couldn’t get enough of.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured just because Hana asked.”

“I’m positive.” He smiled back, “I’m rather hungry, and waffles sound absolutely amazing. That is, if you’ll have me.”

“O-of course! We’ll see you there!”

Kazuha watched as you hoisted Hana up on your hip with her comically-large backpack and chuckled. He finished packing his laptop and notebooks before heading out to his car to meet you at the restaurant. He looked out of the window.

A rainbow.

A symbol of hope. Hope for something new, preferably with you.

[eremiie]

Hello there I really like your writing and I was maybe wondering I can get some angst of a cheating eren who break his s/o heart

yes you can!! i shed a few tears writing this bc i was listening to sad music & thinking, but i hope you enjoy, i am not the best at writing angst😪!

cheers to you - eren x reader

in which eren breaks your heart and you have no choice but to move on.

tw; crying, heartbreak ig idk

2.5k words | angst | modern au

"okay."

you pushed at sasha's phone, you didn't want to see anymore. you were trying to suppress your tears, refusing to cry in front of your two friends.

sasha took one more look at the photos before swiping out of her camera roll, looking back up at you with a frown, hitch likewise. "_____, are you okay?"

and you hated when people asked you that. you thought you were doing fine, you thought you could keep everything down but you simply thought wrong. you croaked out the smallest sound, but before you could even get a word out the tears began to spill, your eyes becoming bleary with the suffocating liquid and the suffocating feeling surrounding your heart. you felt so dumb.

hitch rushed to your side pulling you into a hug until your head fell against her shoulder, body going limp besides the soft heaves that would leave your shuddering body. the pictures of eren were embedded in your head, replaying in your mind, constantly on repeat and you wished to think of anything else that wasn't clawing at your heart like the photos lingering in your subconscious. it was all you could see, almost like a photo album; eren's hands sat on some random girls waist while she straddled him, his jaw slacked open as she ground against him, whoever taking the photo catching her mid grind. his eyes were half lidded if you remembered correctly, reddening, he must've been high.

you couldn't tell if that fact alone hurt you less or more.

your mind swiped, another photo with the same blond haired girl, this time her hands cupping his face and his hands gripping her ass while they engaged in a kiss that you wished was chaste. you were repulsed that your lips had met his in almost the same manner before he left for that party the same night. more sobs left your poor quivering lips, hitch's grip around you tightening as she tried to shush your sobs and cries.

sasha's hands ran over her face as she shook her head clear disappointment evident as she watched you and hitch.

"what did i do wrong?" you gasped for air finally pulling away from hitch, the only body part connecting with hers be your hands that she clasped so delicately as if, if she squeezed too tight you would break. "my heart hurts, it hurts, it hurts," you babbled as tears fell from the bottom of your chin and the bridge of your nose, your eyes were puffy and swollen. "this hurts so bad," you conveyed your emotions through words another gasp leaving your lips.

"you did nothing wrong," hitch reassured rubbing her thumbs against the surface of your hands. "he's just an idiot."

"it's gonna hurt, and that's okay," sasha scooted forward from her position on the floor laying her head in your lap and you knew she was right but god, you didn't want it to hurt. you wanted the pounding in your head to stop, the recurring thoughts to stop, the salty tears streaming down your cheeks to stop, i mean you wanted someone to tell you exactly where you messed up so you could go back and try again.

"do you want us to stay with you tonight?"

you looked down at the side of sasha's face, one of your hands letting go of hitch to comb through brunette hair, and the lazy bun in the back of her head seemed all too familiar already, the way a couple of flyaways framed the front of her face had you covering your mouth, repressing a gag with your palm, sasha whipping her head around to confront the source of the sound, worry on her face, but you squeezed your eyes shut, even the furrow in her brow reminding you all too much of the boy.

"______?" hitch's arms were back around you but you quickly pushed them off feeling the rising feeling of your breakfast you had not too long ago, rushing to the trash can in the corner of your dorm letting your remnants spill from your stomach. the feeling of throwing up felt so foreign to you, you couldn't even remember the last time you did it, and to some degree you wished your heart came up with it.

hitch's mouth parted in the slightest not even sure what to say but the anger behind her eyes was apparent. "baby, i'm so sorry." was all she could say in response while your body crouched beside the trash can, your hands slipping from the rim until they were palm first on the floor, slowing turning into fists.

"i wanna be alone for a couple hours." you managed to utter with a sniff.

"you sure?" sasha asked, standing up awkwardly with hitch reciprocating. you nodded your head and it felt like everything was going in snapshots, them walking to the door, the door opening and their bodies disappearing, your figure laying back in your bed and then the next snapshot didn't come, sleep had came so quick you didn't even have time to process it.

❈ ❈ ❈

your eyes fluttered slightly and you relished in the heat over you for a minute. your mind felt like a clean slate for the time being, as your eyes opened to the bed next to you, sasha's figure vacant from her bed. you remembered asking for some space before you left but you thought she'd had return by now. it was dark, but it couldn't have been too late as orange rays from the sun were attempting to shine through your curtains, making you assume that it was just around seven, the sun setting soon. but you craved the warmness that was around you a little more, pulling down to reach for your blanket, until your body froze.

the hand wrapped around your waist, much like in the photographs engraved in your brain twitched and that same sickness felt like it was resurfacing yet you dared to move, tears brimming again subconsciously.

"eren," you mumbled under your breath.

"hm?" oh, so he was awake.

your face scrunched up in agony at the sound of his voice, your eyebrows coming together, your eyes shutting and you biting your lip so hard the taste of blood collected on your tongue. "please," your breathing began to thicken again, you wanted to move his arm but your body was almost stuck in place. "move."

eren groaned against your back, nose nuzzling into the back of your neck and you mentally cringed. "get out," you said abruptly, body jolting at the sudden movement and you felt him still behind you. how did he even get in? and then you immediately regretted making an spare dorm key and giving it to him only a couple months into your relationship. "get out, get out." you finally regained some self control, your body slithering from under his until your arm touched the floor and you crawled away from your own bed. "go, what are you doing?" you lashed, his gingerly stare making you aware of the tears cascading down your face again.

eren stared back at you finally lifting his head up from the spare pillow that he always slept with when he spent nights with you, the pillow that stayed tucked away on your bed and the same pillow that you'd have to wash and get rid of that stupid recognizable cologne he wore, the same cologne that would linger on most of his clothing that you owned. "_____,"

"no, leave, please leave, i can't do this."

eren seemed genuinely confused, sitting up completely now and scooting forward until his legs dangled off the bed. "baby, what's-"

you winced at the nickname and clutched at your stomach, feeling the emptiness inside from the lack of food, yet you still felt the urge to dispel anything inside of it still. "please leave." you almost felt lightheaded, you felt as if you weren't being heard and you were sick.

the significant sound of the dorm keycard slot beeping until sasha's figure came back in, "_____, i left the key hear but luckily i had a keyca-" her voice slowly died down as she studied the scene of the dorm, your body on the floor away from your bed and eren's figure sat on the same bed, both pair of eyes now looking up at her."

"what the hell?" sasha stormed over to eren grabbing his arm in a feeble attempt to pull him off of your bed. although she wasn't strong enough eren did stand up, mainly because of your pleas for him to get out just earlier. "get out! she doesn't want you here, weirdo!" sasha exclaimed pointing towards the door clear anger flashing in her eyes. "and don't just come in here uninvited again!"

those green eyes that would unknowingly keep you up for nights after today kept that confused gaze on you as he walked around you and made you feel stupid and small. we're you overreacting? were those pictures just your imagination?

"_____..." eren mumbled before looking at your frame on the floor once more.

“get out!” sasha exclaimed.

you weren't sure if he was just that dense or he was hiding the fact that he knew exactly what he did. the door shut and you immediately began crying again, this time harder. wails of pain escaping your throat. your cries were loud and full of pain. you clutched at your shirt as if to grasp at your broken heart.

"oh my gosh." sasha dropped her keycard and bag onto your bed where she still stood and got on the floor with you pulling you as much into her lap as possible. you felt fragile in your hands, her gripping at the sweatshirt around your body. she listened to your cries, responding with "i knows," and "mhm," as if they were telling her a story, simply listening to the aching noises that were leaving you.

"sasha," you finally mustered the courage to speak a few words again, although they resembled your words from yesterday. "i'm hurting."

"i know, i know."

"i loved him." you blinked so you could see a little clearer, lifting your head to look at sasha, bringing your hands to either side of her head, your thumbs stroking her jaw. "i thought he loved me? why? why?"

sasha couldn't bare to look at your sad, damaged eyes and instead pulled you back against her chest. although your sobs died down she could feel the convulsing of your body and opted to hold you for as long as you needed.

“does he even know what he did? does he even know how much pain i’m in right now?”

sasha couldn’t even answer that question. by the looks of it he didn’t, maybe he was high? under the influence? but either way you didn’t have the courage to confront him about it.

instead you spent the next couple of weeks sulking, mending to your broken heart and staying out of eren’s way, no matter how many times he tried to communicate with you. it seemed as if word got to him on what he did, sasha getting connie to talk to him, and as angry as eren got there was no denying what he did, especially with photo evidence.

your phone blew up with his own pleas begging for forgiveness, begging for you to talk to him, to come back, to do something.

but you were fragile, and you knew that even being in his vicinity would tear you apart bit by bit. you didn’t want to weep in front of him, you didn’t want to be in front of him in the first place, nor did you want his pity.

did you want to get back with him? the question still pondered on your mind constantly but both sasha and hitch refused to let you, and they were perfectly fine with the situation going unresolved if it meant better for you.

"so?" hitch pointed the straw of her frappucino at you. "i really think you just need to try exploring your options, just living a little. you can go to the next party with sasha and i, i promise we won't mind."

“hitch i want her to go to a party too but i don’t know about her getting with anyone.” sasha swirled the stick inside her latte to mix it up before sucking the liquid off the end.

now it had been a few months since you had seen eren, a few months since you began to heal yourself slowly compared to those first couple weeks. you had to really thank hitch and sasha for being there most of the way for you, and you had to especially thank netflix and sleep for being two of your greatest distractions.

you never officially broke up with eren, sure you saw him in the hallways (and you were certain he saw you as well) you had a couple lectures with him where the two of you would sneak glances at each other; which kind of reminded you of when the two of you first began liking the other. he never made an effort to speak to you after the first couple weeks when he would text your phone constantly, as much as it seemed like he wanted to still.

"i don't know hitch. i haven't even got rid of his stuff yet. they're still sitting in that stupid box in the corner of me and sasha's dorm." sasha nodded in confirmation taking a bite of her biscuit.

"but i don't think that box should stop you from getting out the house again. you haven't really been anywhere besides maybe target with sasha. plus i miss seeing you!"

you rolled your eyes with a slight chuckle. "you see me at least three times, especially when... you know, you came like everyday at first."

hitch shrugged her shoulders and then took another sip of her drink. "but do you think i can start seeing you more is the question? c'mon this is the first step towards a new life without that bastard."

you pondered on the thought before a small sigh escaped your lips, and you slowly nodded your head.

"really?" hitch exclaimed, her hands reaching across the table to grab yours. "you mean you won't mind coming to the party this saturday?"

you narrowed your eyes at hitch. "this was your plan wasn't it?"

"yes, yes it was. but there's no backing out now."

"yes, hitch, i'll come to the party this saturday." you decided that maybe this would help your healing heart in the least and you would try to push aside the boy that broke it for the couple hours just to spend time with your friends. but you couldn't help and wonder, "what if i bump into him at the party? or he tries to talk to me?"

sasha looked at hitch and hitch looked back before both turning their eyes to you. "we can be with you the whole time if that's the case."

"i wouldn't want to ruin your fun."

"babe, hanging out with you is one of the points of bringing you, ____." sasha smiled.

you internally twitched at the mention of the nickname ‘babe’ but neither one of your friends seemed to tell. you were getting better with reacting to things that reminded you of him, and you didn’t hysterically start crying at the slightest mention or object that related to him.

"we got you, okay?"

you frowned slightly but gave sasha a smile back and squeezed hitch's hand in the slightest. "yeah, okay."

this was the beginning of a new life for you, you wouldn’t spend your days sulking after him anymore. cheers to you and your first big step forward.

[slafkovskys]

me, you, and the stars / j. norris

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

my masterlist!

title from summer days by martin garrix

warnings(s): swearing, nsfw content (18+), jealousy, josh is just an asshole for the first half idk, alcohol, mentions of underage drinking

word count: 4.9k

-

“look y/n, we're leaving whether you’re with us or not!” you hear josh’s familiar voice shout from the other side of the closed door. you hear a deep sigh before a thump, which you’re fairly certain is him propping himself against the wall.

“no you won’t!” you respond. you brush the tinted wand of your lip gloss over your lips before twisting the cap back on and dropping it back into your makeup bag. you take your phone off of the charger before walking back into your bedroom and across the floor to the door. you pull it open to find josh (unsurprisingly) still on the other side. “well well well, what do you know? you’re still here.”

“you don’t have to act like such a brat,” he grumbles. he pushes away from the wall and takes in your choice of outfit, raising an eyebrow, “that’s what you’re wearing?”

“i’m not doing this with you tonight, josh. last time i checked, i’m an adult and i didn’t ask for your opinion. if you don’t like my outfit, you are more than welcome to stay behind and cry about it and i’ll make sure to have a couple drinks for you,” you roll your eyes as you smooth down your dress, a loose little number that fell from thin spaghetti straps and fell just at the middle of your thighs.

“i just don’t want to have to watch over you all night. guys are- they’re gross y/n,” he’s a couple of steps behind you on the stairs as he starts his little spiel. “i don’t want you to be exposed to that.”

“then why the hell did you invite me to come if you’re just going to be overbearing the whole time? besides, like i said before, i’m twenty years old and i haven't needed a babysitter since the third grade. if i can survive your friends, i should be able to survive a bonfire with a couple of strangers.”

you don’t tune in for his response as you walk out of the front door of the rented cabin and towards the truck. the passenger seat, which had always been designated as yours ever since he’d gotten his license, was empty and the rest of the group that was riding with you was piled into the back. you pull open the back door and will looks at you confused. you jut out your bottom lip and look at him with pleading eyes, “will you take shotgun?”

“what’s the problem now?” he slides out of the backseat anyway and takes the passenger seat while you take his seat.

“i don’t wanna talk about it,” you buckle your seatbelt and cross your arms over your chest, turning your head to look out of the window when josh opens the driver’s side door.

“seriously?” he scoffs when he finds one of his best friends where you were supposed to be. it wasn’t rhetorical, but you act like it was as you turn your body away from his watchful eyes. “whatever.”

he pulls away from the house with the rest of your group following behind in a separate car. your destination was another cabin not far from your own for a bonfire put on by someone who you didn’t even know. hunter had found out about the party on his trip to the grocery store with coale earlier in the day and once the information was shared with the group that there was allegedly going to be free alcohol, it wasn’t hard to get everyone on board.  

the cabin was a little ways down the road, not that far but still too far to walk. when josh pulls behind the already long line of cars in the driveway, you all pile out and head for the house where everyone immediately splits up into their own groups.

emily tried to convince you to come with her and kate outside, but you declined, promising to join them a little while later instead. you quickly found the alcohol piled into a plastic bin on the counter, fish yourself out a can, and retreat to the living room.

your eyes scan the room. there were already loads of drunk twenty-plus-year-olds stumbling around and you even noticed some teenagers who had either convinced their parents to let them come or snuck out, making the rounds as well. your knack for observing caused you to focus on a boy.

he couldn’t be older than you, not by much if he was, and he was staring right back at you. unlike you, though, he wasn’t alone. he was quick to abandon whatever conversation he was having before to make his way across the room once he realized that you had noticed him. you turn your head quickly and your cheeks burn at the realization that you had been caught.

you don’t have time to slip away before he’s standing in front of you. his grin is soft as he speaks, “hi.”

you swallow, heart-pounding for some unknown reason, before lifting your head to meet his eyes. you muster your best ‘i’m fine i swear’ smile, “hey there.”

“i hope i’m not bothering you or anything. i just saw you standing over here by yourself and figured i would just come over to make sure that you’re okay?” he scratches the back of his neck.

“aw, that’s sweet of you,” you say, running a hand through your hair. “i’m okay, i just kind of like to know my surroundings, get a feel of the place before i really do anything. weird habit i guess.”

his eyes track your can as you raise it to your lips, “no, no, you’re fine. i’m ben by the way.”

he holds out a hand to which you raise an eyebrow at. he notices and pulls it away quickly. you shake your head and giggle softly, “i’ve just never had a guy try and shake my hand at a party before, ben, but i’m y/n. it’s nice to meet you.”

“you too,” he moves to lean against the wall beside you, his shoulder barely touching yours. “are you from here?”

“no actually. just visiting with some friends on vacation. i’m from oxford,” he raises his eyebrows. you wave your free hand around, “it’s in-”

“i know where it’s at. one of my buddies is from there, i’ve just never met anyone else who was,” he grins. “i’m not from here either. grew up outside of toronto for a little bit and i’ve kind of been a bit of everywhere since.”

“so you’ve traveled a lot?” you ask, turning your body towards his. he hums and you raise your eyebrows, “i want to do that so badly. it’s, like, on the top of my bucket list.”

“you don’t get to travel much?”

“i mean, not really. i’ve been to dallas, new york, the ‘bigger’ places. the only place outside of the us that i’ve been is ottawa which is not that extravagant if i’m honest,” the thought of josh crosses your mind at the mention of ottawa, but it’s gone almost as quickly as it came when ben chuckles.

“why specifically ottawa? it’s not usually people’s first choice,” he raises his eyebrow and you shrug. “it’s complicated?”

“a little bit. anyways, what brings you here? do you know who owns this place?” you ask and his face flushes.

“um, i do. well, not me. my dad does. he let me borrow it for the week so i packed up a couple of my friends and borrowed the family dog and here i am,” he watches as you perk up at the mention of a dog. “do you want to meet him?”

“he’s here? can i?” it doesn’t take much for you to follow him away from the living room and down the hallway. he pushes open a door and (though it wasn’t your smartest decision to follow a stranger into a room) you're met with the sight of a dog. you gasp and he lifts his head, standing up with a stretch as you bend down. he moves off of his very comfortable-looking bed and moves in between your open arms. you squeal, “hello!”

“his name is tex, short for texas,” ben takes a seat on the bench beside the washing machine and watches as you embrace the golden retriever. “he likes you.”

“what’s not to like?” you question, looking up at the brunette with a smile. tex huffs as he takes a seat and you squeeze him gently, “you’re just the sweetest boy, aren’t you? i bet you’ve never done anything wrong in your entire life.”

“he’s does have a knack for shoes-” you cut ben off with a glare and he raises his hands in surrender, “you’re right. he’s never done anything in his entire life.”

“good answer.”

you don’t know how long you were in there with ben, playing with tex and making small talk before someone stumbles inside. he looks between ben and you and smirks, “sorry ben. we’ll find somewhere else.”

you realize then that there was a girl behind him and your cheeks burn as he closes the door. you find a neon green rope and dangle it in front of tex who eagerly snatched it from your hand. “i should be getting back out there. thank you for letting me play with him.”

“actually, i was going to ask if you wanted to get out of here? we could drive around a little bit,” he’s nervous and that was something that you could tell right off the bat. “you just said that you don’t travel much and i know it’s nothing astronomical, but i could just show you some places around town.”

in your slightly not sober mind, it didn’t even click that it was well into the night. you smile, “that sounds good. let me go and tell my friends and i’ll meet you back in the living room?”

“sounds good,” he watches as you bid tex farewell and follows you out of the room. you part ways as you head off to look for someone that you knew. it didn’t take long before you found josh outside surrounded by people. while he was the last person you wanted to tell, almost everyone that you knew was with him and you were beyond ready to leave.

you make your way over, tugging on the sleeve of his t-shirt to get his attention. he tilts his head to the side and when he realizes it’s you, his hand comes to rest on the small of your back as he pulls you to his side. he bends down to hear you, “what’s up?”

you're very aware of the attention that you’ve drawn from the group, the females who didn’t know about yours and josh’s abnormally touchy relationship especially, but you just push yourself on your tiptoes so that your mouth is beside his ear, “i’m leaving.”

he makes a noise of disapproval, “with who?”

“ben,” you shrug as though it was nothing.

“who the hell is ben?”

“we met earlier. he’s gonna show me around.”

“it’s past midnight, y/n. the only place you’re going is back to the cabin and i’m going to be the one taking you there. now, if you want to go so badly, give me five minutes and we’ll leave.”

“no, josh,” you try to pull away from him, but he doesn’t allow it whatsoever. “let me go!”

“y/n,” he sighs, handing his cup off to will who dumps whatever was in there into his own and turns you both away from the group. he keeps an arm slung over your shoulder as he slowly walks you towards the house “i don’t know how much you’ve had to drink tonight, but obviously too much if you think i’m letting you leave with someone that you just met.”

“we met the other day, at the grocery store,” the lie slips easily from your lips but josh shakes his head. he’s known you long enough to know when you were lying and the way that you were avoiding his eyes told him everything that he needed to know. that and you had been very adamant on not tagging along for any grocery store runs since you had arrived. you groan once you realize that he’s not letting you off that easy and try, once again, to pull away from him, “it wasn’t even that much! and what about you? i don’t want you driving me home if you’ve been drinking!”

“i’m 6’1 and almost 200 pounds, princess. i’ve barely had one full beer and i’ve been sipping on that for about an hour. i’m perfectly fucking fine to drive,” he rolls his eyes. he walks you both through the house and points to the couch where two couples were making out, “if you don’t believe me we can sit right there and wait for half an hour. will that appease you?”

“i fucking hate you,” you spit, finally pulling away from his grasp. you storm towards the front door and throw it open, finding ben perched on the swing out front. he stands when he sees you and your eyes soften, “ben, i’m-”

“oh, so you’re ben?” josh slides up behind you and holds out his hand for ben, poor ben, who looks very confused as he reaches out to shake it, “‘m josh. thanks for offering to give my little y/n here a tour of the town at one o’clock in the morning, that was very, very kind of you, but she’s going to have to decline. you have a good one though.”

“i want to hear that from her,” ben looks at you almost hopefully. “y/n?”

“i’m sorry,” you mumble, turning away from him and making your way down to where josh had parked. he takes his sweet time making his way down the driveway and refuses to unlock the truck until his hand covers yours on the handle, “will you please just unlock the door?”

“lose the attitude,” he scoffs, “you didn’t even know him.”

“i was getting to know him josh. you always fucking do this,” you huff and he finally unlocks the door. his hand tightens on yours as you both pull on the handle. you rip your hand away as you lift yourself into the truck and sink onto the passenger seat. he watches as you reach out to pull the door closed. you pause to utter the words, “and i’m not yours so you can stop fucking saying it.”

before pulling the door closed rather forcefully. he scoffs and shakes his head, making his way around the front of the truck. he starts it and throws it in reverse, putting his hand behind your seat to look out of the back glass, “we’re talking about this when we get back.”

you lean forward and turn the radio up, drowning him out.

-

the second that he kills the engine, you snatch the keys from his hand and stomp towards the front door. you throw it open, not bothering to close it as you tossed the keys onto the counter and made quick work of going to your room, rushing to beat him because he could move a lot faster than you were able to.

you hear his loud footsteps echoing in the otherwise quiet house as he ascends the stairs after you. you make sure to slam the door when he’s barely six feet away and twist the lock.

“leave me alone!” you shout as you pull out a pair of shorts from your bag. you peel off your clothes and throw them in the pile along with your other dirty clothes and make your way into the bathroom.

you grab your toothbrush just as you hear the lock turning and you want to scream. you ignore him when he walks in, leaning against the door at first. when you don’t pay him any mind, instead grabbing your toothbrush. he grins knowingly, used to your antics, “you’re ignoring me now?”

when you don’t answer, he moves to stand behind you so that you would have to look at him in the mirror, but you only turn towards the door. he chuckles, “oh, you’re good.”

you for sure thought that he wouldn’t wait you out, but he seemingly had no problem doing so. he takes a seat on the edge of the bath and props his head in his hands, watching you intently as you start to take off your makeup. you pick up a bottle and he points his finger, “what’s that for?”

you continue your silence.

“you have to talk to me at some point. we’re here for three more days, y/n,” he sighs and you shake your head. you look into the mirror, connecting your eyes with his, and you open your mouth to speak. his eyebrows raise and he smirks, which causes you to close your mouth and grab a towel to dry your face.

you weren’t going to let him win.

when you turn to exit your bedroom, he follows quickly behind. you make your way into the kitchen and turn on your phone, connecting it to the speaker that sat on the counter. it was jack’s and he had specifically told everyone not to run the battery down because he had forgotten to bring the charger, but it was the only way that you would be able to drown josh out.

you pick your playlist and turn your volume all the way up before tucking your phone in the waistband of your shorts. you move over to stand in front of the sink, fishing out some of the dishes so you could start to fill the sink. josh leans over the other side of the counter, “you’re so pissed off at me that you’re doing the dishes? are you serious?”

you look up at him and point to yours, a silent way of saying ‘i can’t hear you.’ something changes in his eyes and you look down at the sink as he pushes away from the counter. in a matter of seconds, the speaker is turned off and his hands are on your hips. the music is still playing and you feel his hand pull your phone from its place. with one of his hands holding your phone, you're able to turn around, “hey!”

“hi,” he smirks knowingly. he pauses the music and pockets your phone in his jeans. you go to reach for it, but he grabs your wrist, “now, you can either continue to act like a brat or we can have an adult conversation.”

you glare at him, “i’ll keep being a brat, thanks. now leave me alone and give me back my phone.”

in an instant, he’s lifting you onto the counter. his hands cage you in and you look at him with wide eyes, “what is your problem, y/n?”

“i could ask you the same question, josh,” you hold his gaze. you wanted so badly to reach out and place your hand on his cheek, press your lips to his own, but you couldn’t. you shouldn’t. you were still mad at him. “you’re such a fucking cockblock and i’m sick of it.”

“it’s not my fault that you can’t take a fucking hint,” he rolls his eyes. you take a deep breath and he looks at you with an expression that seems almost shocked, “are you- why do you think i did that?”

“because you’re an asshole?” you accidentally touch your hand to his and you pull it away quickly.

“please don’t do that,” he sighs. he reaches for your hand and you let him curl his fingers around your own. it felt strange, it felt- it felt good. “you’re the only one that matters to me, y/n. why can’t you understand that? because i don’t know how much clearer i can be.”

“you’re drunk josh,” you repeat what you had said earlier when he offered to drive you home.

“you know damn well that i’m not, y/n.” and he was right. you know josh, been around him enough to know what he was like when he was under the influence and this, this wasn’t it.

“what do you mean?” you squeeze onto his hand. “you said that i’m the only one that matters to you. what do you mean?”

“i haven’t taken anyone home in almost a year because of you. even in belleville, even when i got called up. they tried to get me to hook up with someone but i couldn’t. you’re the only person that i want in my bed and you-” he pauses, shaking his head.

“what did i do, josh? you’ve been a total asshole to me and i’m supposed to realize that that means that you want me? what are we, eight?” you shake your head, untangling your  fingers from his. you lean back on the counter and he looks at you almost pleadingly, “you aren’t my boyfriend and you need to stop acting like it. this shit isn’t going to fly anymore.”

he goes quiet before he leans forward. his lips press to yours and a warm feeling takes over your body. you melt into him when he moves one of his hands to rest on your back and the other to rest on your cheek. his hand pulls you forward and you wrap your arms around his neck. he’s the one to pull away first, breathing heavily. his eyes are glazed over and by the way he’s gripping onto you, you can tell that he doesn’t want to let go. “was- is this okay?”

you squeeze his wrist on the hand that rested softly on your cheek as though he would slip away before you leaned back in after taking a deep breath. his hands slides up your back, slipping under the hem of your shirt and you pull away this time, pressing your nose into his neck, “not here. someone could walk- josh!”

you tighten your arms around his neck as he takes you down the hallway to what you knew to be his bedroom. he pushes open the door and drops you down onto the bed, which causes you to squeal as his body covers your own.

you run your hands along his shoulders and he slides his fingertips under your shirt. he’s nervous, you can tell, maybe a little hesitant as well.

“josh,” you call, running your index finger along his jaw, “this is okay with me. i promise you. is it okay with you?”

“more than okay,” he confirms, “are you sure that you want to do this? things won’t ever be the same if we do.”

why did he have to say that?

if it was anybody else, you wouldn’t have even had to think about it. if it was ben, it wouldn’t have meant anything. but this wasn’t just anyone. it wasn’t just ben who you had known all of an hour before you were willing to get into his car. this was josh who you had known since you were kids. josh that you had harbored a crush on since you were thirteen and he was fourteen. josh who you were forced to watch from a distance as he got older and buffer from the hours spent training, who you had to watch as he brought the occasional girl home to meet his mother.

you had never told anyone how you felt and no one ever seemed to notice, which was fine. perfect even. but now-

you look into his eyes as you whisper the single word, “please.”

that seems to be all he needs before he hooks his fingers in your shorts and tugs them downward, taking your panties with them easily. he tosses them to the side and chuckles as his fingers lightly run across your slit, “you’re already soaked.”

“i’ve been waiting a long time for this,” you admit, biting your lip as his thumb runs over your clit.

he sinks his index finger in slowly, pressing his lips to yours as you gasp. it doesn’t take long for him to work in a second before he speaks again, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“to be fair, i thought i was the last person that you wanted to sleep with. you aren’t the best at showing your emotions,” you grumble and he grins.

“you and your attitude,” he shakes his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he stretches you open. “what am i gonna do with you? don’t think that i’ve forgotten about how much of a little brat you were being earlier.”

“well,” in a sudden act of boldness, you move your lips to dance over his ear, “what are you gonna do about it? because as much as you seemed to want me out in the kitchen, you’re moving awfully slow.”

that seemed to ignite something inside of him.

it was only a couple of minutes later when both of your clothes were thrown about the room and he was ripping open a condom. you grin as he presses the tip to your slit, taking some of the wetness.

“josh,” you moan as he sinks in, slowly filling you. “fuck.”

“worth waiting for?”

“you pick the worst times to be an ass- holy,” you arch your chest into his as he bottoms out. you try and pull away but he wraps his arms around your thighs, keeping you still.

“that’s it, princess,” he coos, sucking a mark into your neck. “look so pretty on my cock. can’t believe i waited this long to see you like this, fuck.”

a whine forms in your throat as he pulls out, only to thrust right back in. he lets you dig your nails into his back as he finds his pace, finding your g-spot almost a little too quickly.

his hips snap against yours and his mouth makes its way from your neck to your breasts, taking the opportunity to leave hickeys there as well. there was no way in hell that you were going to be able to hide what had happened and you somehow find the words to voice that, “everyone’s gonna know.”

“fucking good,” he lands a particularly harsh against your spot, “want them to know that you’re mine. that they can’t have you. i’ve seen the way they look at you and i don’t like it.”

“we’re gonna have to work on that but now, i’m gonna-”

“you’re gonna ask me nicely,” his thumb finds your clit and he begins to circle. “you’re gonna show me that you can be good and say please.”

“i hate you,” your words have no real meaning and he knows that by the chuckle he has the audacity to let out. “please josh, please let me cum. i’ll be so fucking good, let everyone know i’m yours.”

“say it again,” he demands.

“i’m yours,” and that was the end.

you feel him spill into the condom before he give you permission, spilling over his cock as you tighten your arms around his neck and press your lips to his as you ride through the aftershock. he rocks upwards a few more times before slipping out and resting his head on your bare chest. his fingers run over one of breasts, “didn’t show these enough attention.”

“they’re covered in hickeys,” you breathe out, “they got the memo.”

you find yourself tangled under his covers not thirty minutes later, both fresh from the shower. you had spent minimal time actually under the water and more time-pressed against the wall with his lips pressed against yours.

your hand ran through his hair as his head rested on your naked chest. you can’t help but stare over his shoulder out of the large window that overlooked the lake. the stars were twinkling high above while everything else was quiet. too quiet.

wait-

you patiently wait until you were positive that he was asleep when you start to shift backward, trying to escape his grip. you had your feet on the ground, ready to search for your clothes before he makes a noise of protest.

“woah,” he says when you move to get out of the bed. his hand curls around your side and pulls you back to his chest, “what are you doing?”

“i’m going back to my room,” you look at him confused. “everyone’s bound to be home soon and i don’t want them to find us like this.”

“i don’t care if they see us, y/n. what part of you being the only one that i want didn’t you understand?” he sighs as he pushes your hair out of your face. you wrap one of your hands around his arm as he does so, “i don’t just want you for tonight. i want you for the long run, y/n. i don’t know exactly what that entails, but i do know that i want you to be here when i wake up in the morning. we can talk about it then, okay?”

you look into his eyes, trying to find any hint that he wasn’t telling you the truth, but you couldn’t. you relax into his chest and let his arms wrap around you once again, “in the morning.”

“in the morning,” he agrees and presses his lips to the top of your head.

[mmvalentine]

Home is Where You Are pt 6 | Feysand

Girl next door AU. Is that even relevant anymore? Idk, have some more fluff. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7

Rhys didn't know what that girl had dreamed that night. One moment they were living their perfect little domestic life and the next she was walking around the house in barely-there shorts and stealing any shirt he left out for too long. It was enough to drive a man mad.

About a week of this had gone by, with Rhys just barely clinging to his sanity, when Feyre made home made ice cream.

"Scary movie, chocolate ice-cream," she said. "All I really want out of life." They piled onto the couch, and Feyre threw a blanket over them. She put the movie on, but Rhys didn't even know what they were watching because he was trying not to stare at the way Feyre's tongue was moving over the ice cream cone. After she had eaten the entire thing, she looked over at him.

"What are you staring at?" she asked. "You have chocolate all over your face,"he said. "I don't even know how you made that much of a mess." She licked her lips. "No, the other side." Her little pink tongue darted out again. "No, still there." Feyre huffed and leaned forward. "Help me then," she said.

Rhys hesitated, and then reached out. Using his thumb, he carefully wiped the ice cream off the corner of her mouth. "All better," he said quietly. "Let me see," Feyre said. He held up his thumb. She rolled her eyes. "There's not that much, you exaggerate," she said. Then she took his hand in hers, and put his thumb in her mouth.

Her tongue flicked over the pad of his finger, and she sucked the ice cream off before she released him. The thought of her mouth around any part of his anatomy had him on fire.

"Are you okay?" Feyre asked him. Rhys just nodded. Feyre tilted her head to one side, her face lit up unevenly by the screen in front of them.

"Sometimes," she said, "I think you look at me like I'm something very fragile." "That's... not what I'm thinking." "It's not?" Feyre asked. "Because I think you feel like you have to protect me from every big bad thing in the world. Even you." "I'm sorry. I just want you to be okay," Rhys said. Feyre smiled the most beautiful smile. "I am okay, Rhys. I am really, truly okay. Will you worry a little less?" Rhys touched her chin. "I'll try." "Good. Then, let's go out tomorrow night." "Out?" Rhys asked. "Yes, we never go out." "Where do you want to go?" "Let's go to a bar like normal people." "Okay." "It's a date," Feyre grinned, and then settled back to watch the movie.

The next night, Rhys found himself in a bar for the first time in months. Years, maybe. What the hell did he used to do before Feyre lived with him?

Feyre ordered their drinks, and the squeezed through the crowd to look for a table. There was a live band playing that night, and the place was packed. They ended up standing off to the side, after failing to find a seat. Feyre leaned back against him.

"There are so many people!" she said. "Don't get lost!"

"Hello everyone," the lead singer was saying. "Happy Friday night, thanks for coming out!"

"He looks so familiar," Rhys said into Feyre's ear. She grinned. "Oh yes," she said. "You know him." Rhys squinted up at the stage. "Cassian?"

"This first song goes out to a very special lady, who does not love me back." The singer grinned at the crowd. "Anyway we're the Illyrians, and this song is called Nesta."

Rhys stared, and Feyre laughed. "We went to primary school with those guys!" Rhys said, raising his voice over the music. "Yeah!" Feyre yelled back. "I ran into them because Cassian's been chasing after Nesta for months now. He told me they play here every Friday night. Look at the bass player, it's Azriel." "Holy hell, it is. Should we try say hi afterward?" "No!" Feyre said. "Just enjoy it. Dance with me!"

And so Rhys did.

At the end of the evening, Rhys and Feyre had to sprint home. They started out strolling, but a sudden downpour had them running for cover. It stopped as soon as it had started, but they were already drenched through.

Feyre opened the door laughing, and Rhys half fell over her. They stripped off their sodden coats, and Feyre scraped her hair off her face. She hopped up onto the kitchen counter, and pointed a toe at Rhys.

"You gotta help me pull my boots off," she said, still laughing. "What am I, your manservant?" Rhys asked, even as he grabbed a hold of her heel. "Christ woman, did you glue these things on?" Feyre laughed again as he got one shoe off and made a grab for the other one, while toeing his own shoes off. "Beauty is pain, so they say," Feyre said. Rhys dropped the boot on the floor with a thud, and put his hands on the counter either side of Feyre. "Well then I don't know how you get out of bed in the mornings," he said. Feyre gasped. "Are you trying to tell me something, Rhysand?" "Only that your beauty astounds me daily." He grinned at her. "Shameless flirt!" she said. "Well you can tell me I'm beautiful too, and then we'll be even." "Bold words, for one whose hair is full of leaves," she said, flicking him on the nose. "It is not!" "It is, you ran through a low hanging branch on your way in."

To prove her point, she picked a small, green leaf out of his hair. Rhys frowned, and ran his hand over his head. "No, no," Feyre said. "You're not going to get it out like that." She pushed his head down, and started picking the leaves out herself. Rhys sighed and leaned into her touch.

"There," she said softly, "all gone." But she kept her hands in his hair, and when Rhys lifted his head they slid down around his neck.

At this proximity, he could get lost in the ocean of her eyes. She stared back at him, and her fingers moved to stroke over his lips. He shivered, and his hands twitched on either side of her legs. Feyre noticed, and since he didn't move, she picked up his hands and placed them on her hips.

"We... we've had a couple of drinks," Rhys said, even as his hands squeezed her. "Only one or two," she whispered. Her feet found the backs of his thighs, and tugged him in a little closer. "Still," he mumbled. "Maybe we shouldn't..." "Rhys," she whispered. "Not fragile, remember?" His hands floated up her sides and slid into her hair. "And this... this is what you want?" "This is what I want." "And you're sure it's not too soon?" "I'm sure you overbearing fool now kiss me already," Feyre said, and Rhys had his lips on hers before she had finished the sentence.

****

IS IT TIME FOR SMUT?!! YES I THINK IT IS.

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @asteria-of-mars@booksmusicandgoodvibes @burritowithfeels

[balkanballad]

esc 2021 fashion review. category: either basic or interesting

hello again. the previous categories were 🥀 and everything that sparkles isn’t necessarily a great outfit. today I am looking into the basic and the interesting looks:

Spain

an absolute prime example for the basic outfit. I like this silky blouse, though I had the thought that maybe the shirt could have been a little bit tighter and the pants a bit looser, other than that, it’s a normal outfit. the moon gets the time to shine in his performance while he wears this simple outfit.

Finland

simply black basic outfits to me. I am not an expert with this genre though, so idk what else I would have done or if I would have done something differently. no thoughts about it really. 

Azerbaijan

basic girls group outfits, except it’s not a girl group. it looks a bit like the Hurricane look, just maybe a bit less ‘got hit by a hurricane’ and a bit more polished. previously I criticised that some of the dancers and the singer didn’t match, but here it’s maybe too matchy matchy. if you zoom a little more out of the picture, they all look the same. 

Slovenia

it’s a jumpsuit in white, it fits her well, it fits the song (has a bit of silver glitter on it for some reason), so it is nothing too outstanding but also not bad. I do hear the NO CAPES! voice from Edna in my head though.

Georgia

another look that doesn’t bother me. it’s a simple look. it’s a bit like when it’s karaoke night at the bar down the street and for some reason the bar manager decided to also sing that night. I really don’t have much to say about this one. I maybe would have tucked in the shirt a bit better without wrinkles.

Poland

these glasses... this whole performance looks like one of those parody performances when someone tries to imitate an ironic cool look, except I don’t think this is supposed to be a parody, but it’s actually them trying to make it look cool(tm). despite the glasses, the knuckle gloves, the lights being held and swung around by the dancers, I don’t think it’s cool. it’s not the worst look ever and the colour theme for all of them together is alright, you can tell who the main performer and who the dancers are, so it falls into my basic category.

Israel

the hair was not my favourite thing, I see how it can fit in with the second look after the reveal, that we saw coming. the first outfit before the reveal matches nicely with the dancers as well. they also could have had some sort of reveal, but definitely should not have put on those key chains on the pants. I didn’t know where to put this look, the least favourite would have been fitting too because I don’t like a lot of things about it, but some things are theoretically alright, so it’s here in this category.

The Netherlands

there is a theme here and all four of them together are matching. I am not the biggest fan of the end result of that theme, but technically I like when there is one. they have a bit superhero, we are saving the world vibes and I like that. I also like the colour of the blue suit and the top part, but the pattern on the pants for example and the chains are too much for me. I think that is the main thing about these outfits - I like the ideas but not everything about the execution. I think these looks stood out, but I personally would have made some other choices.

Denmark

they are interesting to me. I think the looks fit the style of the song and they also stood out. I appreciate that. yes, the white top did remind me of my grandpa a bit and I don’t love that the background singers were wearing earth tones, I would have liked to see some brighter colours for them as well, but, overall, I think this was not a bad choice and interesting.

Ukraine

see! interesting can be done without sparkles. I have seen a lot of art pieces on here about them and I understand why: this is art. I love how the white of the background dancers goes with the trees, but it also has black that fits her look. the green is a cool touch that makes it memorable and the halos are so cool for a symbolic picture. this look would also fit my favourite category, but it is the best example for interesting here I think.

[hes-writer]

Instagram

Based on: harry is on tour and y/n posts a picture with a co-worker on a night out and he gets jealous and frustrated cause he hasn't seen his girl in a while.... he does something stupid that goes viral and breaks her heart but the co-worker is just a really good friend of hers and is happily married or something.... idk if it's a good idea but you can make it very angsty cause i love it hahahah (ooh-so-laura)

Word Count: 1457 words

Warnings: fluff, angst

Being on tour meant that Harry was away from Y/N for most of the year and that completely takes a toll on a relationship. It wasn’t because their love for each other lacked in any way, shape, or form. It was just that distance can strain even a strong relationship like theirs in subtle ways. So subtle that Harry didn’t even notice that he had gone a couple of days without video calling his lover, or that she wasn’t updating him every hour on her annoying work colleagues-- which was unusual for her, considering that she was practically attached to her cell for hours on end. 

So when Harry finally had the time off to catch up with the rest of himself, alongside the buzzing environment of traveling and touring-- his first instinct was to grasp his phone and dial Y/N’s number, not even considering the time difference of their home to his location for the next twenty-four hours. 

He waited and waited for what seemed like forever--he thought it was interchangeable considering he hadn’t talked to her in ages--he was surprised (not really) that it went to her voicemail. Harry knew that Y/N loved her sleep. He switched off the Clock app, finding out that it was only a quarter past nine and there was absolutely no way that she would be asleep at this hour. 

He tried twice, to no avail. His eyebrows furrowed in wonder and curiosity, lips pursing in a slight pout as a sudden wave of sadness overcame him and he realized that he’d probably have to wait for a bit more time until he got to talk to Y/N. 

---

As private as he is, Harry still kept up to date with the latest news through social media. He has been extra cautious as of late ever since he accidentally posted a picture of him wearing a cartoon shirt to his public Instagram story, mistaking taking it for the green, ‘close friends’ button. He made sure to keep his thumb a few centimeters more away from the sensitive screen as to not accidentally double-tap a picture he had no intentions of liking. He scrolled quickly, his eyes boring the screen in a swift glance, not really being interested in anything he was seeing. 

He soon moved on to his next task--to check everyone’s story. Loud sounds and pounding music got lagged through as he tapped on the right side of his screen, cutting off the video midway. He was still uninterested. 

Harry refreshed his feed, letting the loading logo swirl through circularly. Needless to say, he was stunned when he saw Y/N’s latest post, uploaded only a few minutes ago. 

There it was in large format, a picture of his girl and a--not going to lie-- a very decent looking man in a slick navy blue suit with a red tie. He figured he would’ve been more up-front of his obvious distaste of the man if he hadn’t worn such a color-coordinated suit. Snickering to himself, Harry thought he could probably show him up with a Gucci patterned suit of his that he’ll pull off no matter what. 

But nonetheless, the look was effortless and Harry was sure that he would’ve liked the man very much if it weren’t for Y/N appearing beside him. That alone caused a scowl to appear on his face and the next thing he knew; he was calling his girlfriends’ number with forceful taps of his calloused thumbs.

Y/N looked great, obviously. And maybe that’s why he was impatiently muttering to himself for her to pick up the phone. Harry didn’t know if he should complement the dress she wore or mention the fact that her lipstick was perfectly painted on her pouty lips, or how her hair was styled in a way that reminded him of date nights that ended in passionate lovemaking.

His chest ached suddenly, emotions overwhelming the fact that he missed his girl so much added with the boiling jealousy bubbling in his blood. The call went to voicemail and normally he would patiently wait a few minutes before calling again. However, Y/N’s profile rimmed a colorful hue, indicating that she just recently uploaded a story. 

He didn’t know what to make of her actions-- if she deliberately ignored him or she simply did not hear her ringtone alarming that he was calling. He called again. 

“Who’s that in your photo?” He growled, demanding for an answer instead of greeting his lover.

Y/N furrowed her brows at his sudden rough voice filling the speaker of her phone, “Hello to you, too”

“Who was that?” Harry repeated. He couldn’t help his fingers from fidgeting against a stray string of his knitted jumper. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“That was Kevin,” Y/N answered loudly, loud music blaring through her soft voice. “Did you like his suit? He said it was Gucci, but he wouldn’t let me see the tag,” She chuckled at the end, oblivious at the burning jealousy coursing through Harry.  

“Kevin, huh?” Harry mocked. “I’m sure it was Gucci and I guarantee that he wouldn’t mind taking it off to show you,”

He could hear you excusing yourself from the crowd. His phone speaker muted to a quieter atmosphere--he assumed you moved outside. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“God, Y/N. I haven’t seen you in so long and the first thing I see is with you and some other guy!”

“And whose fault is that?” She bit back, hoping to get some sense into his head before she hung up. 

Sighing in frustration, Harry changed to a decent attire, quickly grabbing the things he needed for a night out. Needless to say, the next morning was interesting for both of them. 

———

Headlines of Harry were plastered everywhere, mostly discussing his wild night out wherein pictures of women grinding against him were linked. He didn’t have an ounce of alcohol last night, but the hazy atmosphere of the club surely made his mind boggled. 

“Oh shit,” He muttered silently to himself, sitting up in his otherwise empty hotel bed. 

—-

Y/N understood that he was busy as of late, especially since he was in the middle of touring. Their video calls for the past couple weeks dwindled into a good morning or good night message and as much as she wanted to beg him for a few minutes to see his faced in a pixelated screen--she knew that he just didn’t have enough* time to do so. 

But apparently he had enough time to go out. She thought. She shook off the thought, knowing that jealousy and jumping into conclusion never ended in a quiet stupor. 

Instead, she examined the pictures closely as much as the blurry pixels let her. Seeing the emptiness in his eyes and the slouch of his shoulders caught her attention. His hands were to himself, seeming as though he did not care enough to push the women off of him but had no intentions to enjoy the movements against his body. And frankly, Y/N should be angry at him for doing something so stupid. But she also couldn’t ignore her instincts that all he needed was a reassurance that their love was still very much alive. 

She called him. 

“Y/N!” Harry agitatedly explains the events of last night, spewing out that he did not do anything that would taint his conscience or ruin the relationship they had. It put Y/N’s mind to ease knowing that her initial assumption was right—he just needed her to be there for him. 

“It’s okay, H. I understand,” She responded softly, playing at the end of *his shirt that she was wearing. 

“Y-you do?” His voice came out childlike and scared. She could imagine his lips pursing in a pout. 

“It’s alright, Har,” Y/N relaxed her tense muscles, “You wanna tell me what happened during our call?’ She giggled at his behaviour, to which he groaned in protest. 

“I’d rather not,” He shook his head, his dimple making a slight indent on his cheek.

“You were jealous weren’t you?” 

“Of course not. I was just wondering because if it was from Gucci, then Alessandro would’ve shown it to me by now,” He muttered quickly, lips pursing and pressing a lie to cover up his embarrassing actions. “And I kind of miss you,” He added quietly. 

“Right, of course,” Y/N let a few seconds pass before replying, “And I miss you too,”

“So, Kevin is …?” Harry let his thoughts trail off, brows pinching together as he waited for her answer.

She laughed at his prying tone, “Kevin is happily married and you are, too.”

----

thank u for the request !!

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[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Fangirl, Interrupted - Becca’s Saturday

Summary: Have you ever felt like you’re too far up your fandoms that you’re not really living your real life? Well, that. But more.

Word Count: 1,817

Pairings: Dean x reader, Sherlock x reader

Warnings: You’re not gonna like it. Sudden fandom changes, bit of smut which is not really smutty, lazy writing, suicidal attempt, usage of drugs and alcohol, OOC scenes. 

Original A/N: Because of who I am, I like to exaggerate everything. With that being said, let me tell you that this is how I felt for many years, with multiple fandoms. I have lived a tortous life, therefore I was always seeking to live somewhere else. Almost all of my childhood and teenage years were an on-going loop between my fake life inside my fandoms and my real life. I barely remember anything now outside that make-pretend life I created for myself.  Now I am living my life, in a way that I can no longer hide inside that fake life. Call it what you want. Anxiety is coming back to me, fyi, and I tried to hide there but I just can’t. This is my way of expressing it. The Girl, Interrupted theme is because I watched it yesterday after performing Lisa’s monologue at my acting class - a way of giving therapy to myself through art. Anyway, I hope you don’t read this fic. I didn’t like it at all, but I feel the need, nonetheless, to share it somewhere. To have evidence that I went through that. Probably, someone out there has too. Idk.

New A/N: I wrote this MONTHS ago, long before I got diagnosed, and I got scared of posting it because it could be too depressing. But I hate leaving drafts all alone so here goes nothing.

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness…

“Put her in restraints!” A woman yelled. “Withdraw blood… Give her five milligrams of Valium, IV”

“Turn her head so she doesn’t aspirate,” another woman advised. I felt my head being turned by a pair of terribly warm hands.

I was attacked. I had been attacked.

“You should check my hand. There’s no bones in it anymore…”

“What were you thinking?” The first woman asked.

“I was trying to save the world…” I replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll thank me later.”

Sometimes it’s hard for me to stay in one place.

“Hey,” I opened my eyes at the familiar voice. The image at first was blurry, but I could recognize the colors of their flannel shirts. My back was killing me, and my arms felt numb. “(Y/N) are you okay?”

“Yo, sweetheart! Wake up!” A rough voice called out. I could see his red flannel.

Red flannel. Dean was wearing a red flannel, and Sam had the green one. That could only mean one thing…

I looked down at my own clothes, I was wearing a brown flannel.

I smiled childishly, and my vision finally cleared. Both men were staring at me, worried. “I’m home,” is all I could say.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, Sam smiled back at me.

“Yes, you are,” he said, “you’re home with us. Where else would you be?”

“At a hospital or some shit,” I replied.

“We don’t do no hospitals, sweetheart,” Dean reminded me from afar.

“Did we get him? The djinn?” I inquired, with wide eyes.

“Yup,” Sam nodded.

Dean appeared back again, handing me a cold beer. It was closed. Sam took my hand and guided it to my forehead, so I could press the bottle to my forehead. I was probably wounded there too.

“We Jafar-ed the shit out of him,” Dean snorted. Sam inhaled profoundly, as an attempt to not slap his brother. “I Jas-min that we almost didn’t make it…” Dean continued, “but enough Abu me,” he giggled, “how was your daydream, sweetheart? Where’d Iago?”

“Please, stop,” Sam begged. Dean tried to argue but Sam was already looking back at me. “But do tell us where did you go?”

“I…”

“Where did you go?”

“(Y/N)” a strong light blinded me for a second. I suddenly felt something in my eyes, pulling them open. “(Y/N), we’re calling you!” The voice chanted. “Hello, Earth requires Ms (Y/N)...”

“Wha-what?” I stuttered, pulling away from the light.

The scenery had changed. I was no longer at a motel room with awful wallpaper, but instead at a very nice living room, though the wallpaper was still awful.

“Are you okay?” The man that had been calling my name asked. He kneeled in front of me.

“Are you real?” I tilted my head to the side, and he smiled tenderly.

“As real as your nose,” he said and booped my nose. His touch was soft and warm.

“What happened?”

“You fainted,” another voice answered. I looked back, only to see the familiar figure of Sherlock sitting on his desk, typing furiously on his computer. “I told you not to get too close to the evidence, but did you listen? No, why?” He gazed back, “Because ‘oh Sherlock, don’t be so stern, it’s just a flower bouquet!’ but I was right, as usual.”

“Let her breath,” Watson commanded. “We both smelled it too and nothing bad happened.”

“Yes, but so did the police officers… All male, I must remind you” Sherlock snapped. “The flowers were sent to a woman who, where is she now? Oh, yes, DEAD!”

“I don’t get it,” I interfered.

“I suspect the flowers are poisoned with some sort of chemical that only affects women, by reacting to their production of hormones.” Sherlock informed me.

“Right… And what does that have to do with your intoxication?” The female voice asked again.

I suddenly snapped back to the hospital. I was laying in a hospital bed, with lots of tubles connected to me. There was a woman in white, sitting by my side with a notepad on her lap.

“Well, obviously I’ve been affected… It’s the flowers, you see…” I spoke.

“Flowers? What flowers?” The nurse, she was a nurse, asked again.

“The poisoned flowers!”

“Do you see them now?” She inquired.

“Of course not!”

“No?”

The djinn stood behind her. “Say no,” he said with an ominous voice.

“No,” I obeyed.

The nurse looked behind her and the djinn disappeared instantly. “Are you seeing anything out of the ordinary at the moment?”

“No, why would I? I’m not crazy,”

“At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were…” Dean sighed. He was sitting by my side, in bed, and was connecting his phone to the charger. “I am a little crazy too, you know?”

“Oh, yeah?” I trembled.

“Yeah,” he muttered and finally let go off his phone. He turned to look at me for a second before cuddling me. I was the small spoon, he was shirtless. “I’m crazy about you.”

“Smooth,” I replied sheepishly. I could feel the ghost of his arms around me… Ghost, because I couldn’t really feel him. He was hot, yet cold as if air was blowing over my skin.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked.

“I am.”

I wasn’t. I’m not okay.

“Good night, sweetheart,” he whispered and pecked my shoulder. Again, I felt it but not quite.

“Dean?”

“Huh?” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what would happen after I said what I wnated to say.

“I feel like I’m still inside the djinn’s daydream,” I confessed.

Dean sat up and fixed a lose strand of hair that was falling over my eyes.

“You’re not inside a djinn’s daydream…” He said, calmly.

“How can you tell?” I asked, still not opening my eyes.

“Because djinns don’t exist, that’s why,” he said.

I finally opened my eyes. Black locks and blue eyes were all I could see for a moment.

“Djinns are mythological, and that is all…” Sherlock continued. I could hear his voice turning from Dean’s to his own. “I understand that maybe the toxins from the flowers could affect your perception of life, but there is nothing to fear. The effects will pass and you’ll be good as new.”

“I don’t feel good as new.”

“Clearly,” he grunted.

Noticing my state, he decided to go a little further from his usual behaviour. He pressed his head to my arm… I was still laying on my side, as if I was still being the small spoon.

“I will be here, by your side, as long as you let me.”

My heart fluttered, but not in love but rather in pain.

“I can’t control that.”

“The pills are having a positive effect on her now, we can get her to be conscious for a bit longer than before…” I heard a voice coming from the hall.

“What is that?” I asked. Sherlock tilted his head.

“What?” He furrowed, “I don’t hear anything.”

“Well, I do.”

I got up from bed and opened the door. At the other side of it was a hospital hall rather than Sherlock’s. All white, with blinding white lights. The nurse was talking to what I assumed was a doctor.

I felt like I would faint again.

Sherlock got up as well and dragged me back to the bed, closing the door behind us.

“You know what could help?” He smirked. “I know… Because I know you.”

He got me back in bed, facing up to the ceiling. I was about to talk, when I felt him pulling down my pijama shorts. A sigh left my lips, as I felt his tongue rubbing my clit in circles. I closed my eyes, filled with pleasure, and tried to keep it quiet so neither Mrs Hudson nor Watson could hear us.

“Come here,” I begged after a while.

I opened my eyes and saw Dean crawling up to my face. His tattoo was covered in sweat and his hair was ruffled.

“You thought I would just leave it there, sweetheart?” He flirted and, without a warning, he thrust inside me. “You feel good today… Tight, and so wet for me…”

I moaned, getting lost in his green eyes. I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t.

I didn’t even feel his weight over me.

I blinked.

TARDIS.

I blinked again.

Dean was looking at me, dumbfounded as he made love to me.

I shook my head and closed my eyes again, letting my body fall back into the pillows as I succumbed to the pleasure he… they were giving me. I called both of their names in between whispers until I climaxed.

I sighed and opened my eyes.

I was in my room. Darkness surrounded me. I was alone, and my fingers were still between my legs.

I wiped them quickly with the bed sheets and took my phone to googled Dean Winchester’s name, only to find out that he was not being looked at by the US government, but rather a fictional character. Not only that, but I saw pictures of him in the most intimate moments… Moments I could recall from living them with him.

I clicked on one of his pictures.

Jensen Ackles… Married.

I clicked on Sam’s.

Married.

I clicked on Castiel’s.

Married.

They were all married. Click by click I undercovered the lie I was living in.

“But what about Sher?” I thought to myself.

I googled him. Fictional character, based on the books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

There he was, my Sherlock, next to others who had also played him.

“I thought I was in a hospital,” I whispered.

“Maybe it’s just your unconscious mind asking to be treated by a professional.” Castiel’s voice spoke.

“Maybe it’s because that is where you’re going,” Sam gestured to the side of my bed. A bottle of vodka laid there empty, next to empty sets of aspirins.

“Is there an end to this?” I asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Jim Moriarty spoke from the darkness. “But aren’t you having fun?”

“What if I die?” I insisted.

“You won’t,” Sherlock said, “you still got enough energy to call an ambulance for yourself.”

“Please do,” Watson begged softly.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the number.

“I need an ambulance…”

“We’ll see you on the other side, sweetheart.” Dean smiled with a glimpse of sadness.

“I love you, guys.”

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness… Or maybe I was just a fangirl… Interrupted.

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