#if ''everyone'' feels like this then why is it a literal diagnosis? why bother making it a separate thing?

[morlock-holmes]

Notice in the post below that the only named task that the OP struggled with is homework?

Now, people diagnosed with ADHD or similar disorders often do struggle with tasks that we might actually want to do, but almost always, the diagnosis is linked in everyone's mind to an inability to do homework.

But homework is fucking bullshit.

I really think it's absurd to ignore that fact when talking about how you complete tasks.

"Gosh, my kid seems to have a lot of trouble focusing on dull make-work which I force him to do for two hours every single day, why could this be?"

I spent literally as little time in school as I could and still graduate. As in, by my junior or senior year the principal sat me down and said, "If you skip anymore school we aren't going to be able to graduate you from High School."

And yet... When I bothered to go, I got good grades. I did generally quite well on tests and did eventually graduate. I'm quite proud of that as an act of self-mastery but it does raise the question:

Why was so much energy spent on trying to get me to go to school for all that time when I was demonstrably able to get the benefits with literal years less work than they wanted me to put in?

Why was so much time spent trying to devote those years to schoolwork when it simply wasn't necessary for me to learn?

Homework is a microcosm of that whole question. I always wanted to know,

"So, if I can skip 60% of the homework and still get an "A" on the test, why do you try to force me to do it?"

And to this day I have never gotten a good answer.

So: I saw no value in most of my homework and that hasn't changed to this day.

So, here's a pop quiz for the people wondering why their kids with diagnoses don't do their homework no matter what planning and techniques adults supply them with:

What would your kid have to do to spend less of their valuable time on homework?

"Well, if they just knuckled down and got it done..."

BZZT! WRONG! You get a "D-" on this test and I really hope you apply yourself more to the next one, you have so much potential...

If they "forget about it" then they have to do even less.

Now, of course that means that your kid is in a state of constant stress from avoidance. They are thinking, "Man, I'm going to get in so much trouble for not doing this, but I just can't seem to force myself to do it, and anyway I don't fucking want to."

You think that they'd be better off spending two stressful hours on their homework and then being able to relax the rest of the time. They feel like they'll be happier not doing it at all and feeling a vague undercurrent of stress as they go about their leisure time.

What's the third option if they want to spend less time on homework?

Oh, nothing? Is it nothing whatsoever until they graduate from school?

This is infuriatingly counter-productive. We spend literal years teaching ADHD kids that avoidance and procrastination are the only ways to exert control over their lives in the face of unpleasant situations imposed from outside.

Now, in point of fact this is absolutely not the case for adult life, which offers a plethora of ways to reduce pointless make-work imposed on you by outside authorities and, in any case, rarely bothers to impose two hours per day of unpaid, unrewarding make-work on people anyway.

How much of the difficulty ADHD people have with cleaning the toilet or whatever is because psychologically, they still think of it as homework? Cleaning the toilet is not homework; it rewards you with a clean toilet at the end and it's entirely possible to defer it, or hire someone else to do it, or find shortcuts. But if the major psychological task of your childhood is homework, maybe it might take quite a long time to think that there could even be anything aside from homework?

[thedemonsurfer]

hey uuuh im procrastinating on other things so let's write a big ol' essay about

Eclipse 3.1, and Why Moon Is Doing a Disservice By Writing Him Off As "Insane*"

*insane in this context being the definition of 'acting erratic and unpredictable with no regard to consequences' and not an actual mental illness diagnosis, I know, I wish they'd pick a different word too, but this is an essay about Eclipse's behavior, not linguistics

So! If you've only been sorta keeping up with SAMS, the current plot is someone (we still don't know who) revived everyone's favorite dusty Dorito that had been forgotten under the couch, slapped him on the ass, and pointed him at the Daycare. This has made a lot of people (in universe) very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move, even by Eclipse.

Especially by Eclipse.

Our buddy boy has magic (dunno how), incomplete memories of both the original Eclipse and the backup (no clue how he got those), and directives embedded in his code that can't be removed without killing him (¯\_(ツ)_/¯). He literally woke up in the hallway outside the Daycare and then went inside and started monologuing.

Eclipse wants to find the person who brought him back, maybe or maybe not ask some questions, and then kill them.

He reeeeeally wants to kill them.

(This whole arc honestly boils down to Eclipse grabbing various folks and shaking them while screaming "ARE YOU MY MOMMY?!")

In recent eps Moon has accused him of going 'insane', mostly due to his insistence on picking fights and threatening others, and that he cannot shut up about wanting to get the guy that made him. He very recently picked a fight with Lunar, who killed him again-- and proved at the moment he can't be killed permanently, he'll just come back in a new body.

Huh.. fighting a programmed compulsion, becoming more erratic and aggressive over time, breakdown of logic and reasoning... That seems kind of familiar...

Oh yeah! This is Eclipse's kill code. I'm calling it the 'bother code', but 'cringecode' and 'pain-in-the-ass code' aren't off the table. Unlike Moon's kill code, the expression seems to be 'be a distraction to Moon' rather than like, outright murdering people.

Like the kill code, fighting the compulsion seems to make his behavior more unstable. Because here's the thing: Eclipse isn't stupid.

Well.

Okay, Eclipse is stupid, but not... like this.

Eclipse is a manipulator. His thing has always been to recruit others to help him achieve his goal, and he's patient about it. He's willing to work for months on someone, and while he does shoot himself in the foot eventually, it's usually more indirectly than this. Moon is currently helping him search for the guy, it makes no sense for Eclipse to continue posturing and threatening.

Except-- that's his only outlet right now.

The "I need to find the guy who made me"? That's Eclipse's goal, the one he's pursing with all the stubbornness he has.

The "hey what if I killed or maimed some of your family"? That's the directives.

What we're seeing with Eclipse's behavior is him desperately trying to keep himself on track, when the bother code is trying to yank him in another direction. Threatening Moon so he'll 'work faster' is an outlet, a way for him to briefly pacify the code while redirecting it back into his own goal. He knows it's a stupid suggestion, but he's going to make it anyway because he has no choice.

I think he feels like he's running out of time as well. Because Eclipse can be patient, but he gets frustrated and short tempered the closer he gets to a deadline (this is why I believe he started being meaner to Lunar-- he was frustrated about not finding the star and had given himself only a month to do it).

So like.. yeah. I don't think he's going 'insane' or 'losing his mind'. I think he's fighting a losing battle against his own programming, and taking the frustration and panic out on everyone else. Because the kill code couldn't be fought off indefinitely, eventually the bot would crack under it. And it'd be nice if Moon could acknowledge that Eclipse's behavior isn't entirely voluntary, and he IS I think honestly doing his best-- he outright came to them for help, something he's never done before.

Idk maybe they need to let Eclipse put Moon in a stupid trap again for an ep to get it out of his system so he can chill out for a while.

A sidenote! Its interesting to me that Eclipse's behavior in the coming back ep seemed to be erratic only as long as Moon was present. Once Moon left, Eclipse changed gears in how he was talking to Solar, and had some very classic "you know you're better than this, don't you want to go apeshit?" lines. The kind of thing that we've seen from the previous Eclipse incarnations. Dunno yet if it means anything, but it's interesting!

[sherlock-is-ace]

I've started watching Monk (literally only the first ep so far) and I have thoughts...

Well first of all I know the show is old and some things are not so great... and there's been a few things, even in just one episode I could have lived without and some that actively annoyed me. That said, I'm really liking it so far!

I really like the character of Monk. I like that he seems like a very nice guy. He's the Quirky & Wierd™ type but he's not rude or mean or has an air of superiority like a lot of neurodivergent characters in media. As I said, I've only watched one episode but so far he's been attentive and kind and hapily accepted being mistaken in his deductions.

Yet, I can see exactly what the writers are trying to do with this character by the actions of everyone around him, and this is what bothers me the most (again, even in this one single episode I've watched). Everyone is so fed up with Monk all the time! Even when he doesn't do anything particularly frustrating...

Monk has OCD (and possibly more things? idk), he does seemingly weird and nonesensical things, he has particular needs and methods of doing things. These can be annoying and/or frustrating to neurotypical people, sure, but most regular characters know about Monk's OCD, couldn't they be even slightly more tolerant, especially the woman that works for him?! I guess it's good representation of what real people have to go through lol but still!

I can tell the writers want me to believe Monk is annoying, and perhaps some things will annoy me in the future, but they're setting the bar really low right now. For example, there's a moment within the first 5 minutes of episode one, where Monk is talking about the case he's working on, he's communicating his findings, he's being correct and giving the police the answers they've missed, all while repeatedly tapping on a desk lamp (without any noise btw). And the whole time, every police officer and even Sharona herself are focused on that action. She's even asking him to stop again and again. WHY?! He wsn't annoing anyone, he was doing his job and correctly, he was communicating clearly, he was distracted by compulsive thoughts but that was not hindering his work in the slightest... The writters insist that we as viewers have to find Monk annoying and stupid, I suspect so that when the drama of the show peaks and we see him break we'll start liking him? see him in a different light? go "ahh see? he wasn't that annoying"?

There's also some other things, that are not connected to his OCD which I feel like are added for comedic effect as well as to make the character seem stupid and/or childish and sort of justify that contempt. Which in a way, yeah it's good that a character has trait unrelated to his diagnosis, but I'm not sure these traits are the best to have for this character... Like getting stuck on small chairs when he could have easily chosen a different one, or not knowing how to cook, etc etc.

I don't know, it bothers me a little but not in a way that makes the show unwatchable. It's just something to keep in mind while watching it I guess.

Ok wow that was long. If you made it and read this far... why? lol thank you for listening to my rambling about Monk while having not watched more than the first episode. Something to applaud tho? the music!! fucking bangers! for both the opening and end credits!! :D

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[yuridovewing]

Tigerheart's Shadow Diagnosis: B

I will not lie. Dovewing was there and it boosted my ranking by a lot

To be honest, I think I'm a bit of an outlier when it comes to WC fans, cause I actually sorta like the travel books. I dunno, I always kinda enjoy a little adventure where the cats interact with human stuff. It's cute to me, it reminds me of pet xenofiction and it's the closest WC ever gets to this sorta thing. They definitely have a pacing problem, and I felt that in this book, but they're not the worst things ever to me.

I liked Tigerheart getting stuck on a train and all the cats needing to deal with the train tracks (and calling trains "thundersnakes" was really cute) and I liked a lot of the city stuff. The guardian cats were a really neat group and I'm glad we spent a lot of time on them, they're lovely. I also really enjoyed Spiresight as a character. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy a weird girlie with visions (and I've subscribed to the theory that he's Tadpole btw. That scene where he grabs Pouncekit while she's hanging over the ledge with such ferocity, mirroring how Tadpole died pushing Moth up the ledge in canon... aughhhh)

The entire first part of the book with Tigerheart in ShadowClan was also really good. I love the parallel between him and Dovewing where they both felt suffocated by their clans' expectations of them and cracked.

Dovewing's treatment will always bother me but I did like her here a lot. You go girl get OUTTA there!!! Everyone acting like she just had a goofy little anxiety dream when she was literally a prophecy cat... Grrrr bite bite grrrrrrrrrr. It really puts into perspective how despite what her sister and the fandom preaches, no one actually respects Dovewing and her feelings and they're quick to dismiss it all as being "stuck in her own head". Her interactions with Tigerheart and their kits were really precious and I loved most of their scenes Besides the ones where Tigerheart was being weird, which brings me to...

... Erins "learn how to have clan cats be normal about outsiders/at least come to respect them" challenge. Failed immediately. Why does Tigerheart feel suffocated by his clan to the point where he decides to join Dovewing super quickly and looks for a reason to join when he feels forced to stay in ShadowClan, only to get to the city and be like "well let's go back to ShadowClan honey. What, you didn't actually think I wanted to come out here, did you?" And then the ending has him like "No wait I kinda wanna stay dead because leading ShadowClan is scawy" and like he's allowed to have conflicting feelings but it read like he just swapped motivations when the plot needed him to. Not to mention how rude he is to the guardian cats and forcing his customs onto them (and this being portrayed as a good thing and evidence he's a fantastic leader) I think it'd make more sense if he wanted to stay in the city with Dovewing and felt comfortable with the guardian cats, but he felt restless and guilty for ditching Rowanstar, and when Spiresight gives him the warning then he suddenly folds. Like cmon, at least PRETEND you respect outside groups for a moment before turning your main protag into a spokesperson for how superior this dystopian- i mean euphoric society he llives in is and how everyone ever should shut up and conform to it or else you're an idiot who deserves to get beat up.

I dunno. There was a lot of good here but a lot of weird stuff too. But that sorta comes with the territory for WC, really. Good idea, good beginning, good characters, but needs tuning up imo.

[tabbywaslost]

Stop crosstagging, it doesn’t make you look like the “bigger person.” And neither does insulting people. In complete honesty it makes you look like an angry 12 year old from TikTok, plus it can literally trigger people. Unless you enjoy mentally hurting others, in that case you should probably consider getting help yourself because that means you definitely have some issues. You people invade our spaces and purposely try to make our health worse, you doxx us and send us death and rape threats (I’ve seen people doxxed over things as simple as proship.) you should actually try communicating and learning about WHY a community is a certain way before spewing vile things. I don’t support rape, I don’t support people who support rape. Having a paraphilia doesn’t automatically make you pro-rape, in fact we have ours because we were molested as a child and it’s the only way our brain knew how to cope. We’re Transid because it makes our headmates feel more comfortable in our body. We don’t put tape on our eyes and run around demanding everyone call us Asian, we don’t go out in furry ears and bite people and force them to treat us like a cat. People can be Transid for MANY reasons (and many don’t have to give you an answer, a lot of people are Transid to cope with certain things.) it doesn’t mean someone needs “therapy.” The American therapy system is absolutely fucked up and can even give someone worse health issues if they’re paired with a bad therapist anyway. Many people can’t even afford therapy, we try to avoid getting any sort of diagnosis because guess what? Having a certain mental condition can make doctors less likely to provide someone with HRT, especially in a red state (which is where we are located.) where HRT is already incredibly limited. In short, we were incredibly mad about your crosstagging but figured actually explaining instead of typing out any insult we can think of like a toddler would be more effective. Honestly? You probably aren’t even going to bother doing your own learning or changing how you are (because that’s how antis are, they refuse to be open to anything they don’t understand.) you probably won’t even read this, but it gives us peace of mind to know that this has been sent out. Now we are going to block you. Stay safe, take care of yourself, and don’t crosstag.

I read everything and I thank you for your response. I am not making targeting those who are coping or were molested as kids, I am also not targeting the harmless ones like "TransEyeColor" or "TransCat" or whatnot, they're fine. I am targeting people who are "Transharmful", "TransSA", "TransAbused", I'm targeting people who are mocking trauma, disorders or support pedophilia. And also, "Transrace" is generally harmful even if the person claiming to be "Transrace" isn't trying to harm anyone. For example, if you claim to be "TransSyrian" [which I have actually seen], you are degrading the struggles of Syrian people and claiming to be Syrian just because you like it. It's also not a healthy coping method bc you are hurting others by it.

In conclusion, I'm not targeting harmless people who are coping, I am targeting harmful people who are pedophiles and do it for fun. But when I said "get help" to the kids, I ACTUALLY want them to get help because they have trauma that needs to be discussed. I wasn't mocking them when I told them to get help, no. I truly think they need and deserve professional help.

And also, as I said, some TransIDs can be very harmful like "TransSA". I legit went blank and got really upset when I saw it because I was molested as a child too and it's STILL continuing.

So yeah, please know that the kids who are coping are fine but they deserve professional help, but the pedophiles and people who do it "because it's fun" are the bad ones. But I report every single one because the traumatized kids need some time off the internet, they need to take some time for themselves if they can.

That is all.

[nerdyenby]

Purple time :D I’m watching Jimmy

Pre-game

Purples Posies 😭

Jimmy, horrified: “Are you demanding money?” Martyn, without hesitation: “Yes” Jimmy: “Same”

This team is gonna be peak chaos in so down

Also coincidentally the only team I saw do a 4/4 practice session

Scott flirting with Shane and then calling Jimmy and Martyn his husbands, more like purple polycule, am I right???

I didn’t even bat an eye but Scott being awed that MCC is something someone would use Make-a-Wish for is so <333

I am living for this chaos

Martyn: *talking about his wedding* Jimmy: “awww” Martyn: “What are you ‘awww’-ing for, you were there” Scott: “I wasn’t there, I wasn’t Martyn’s bestie at that point” Shane: “I wasn’t born yet” 😂

INSTANT disconnect lmao

Grid Runners

The way Jimmy was running around clueless during the first room and they still finished it first

They popped off, that’s simply all there is to say

“Four bros chillin’ in a hot tub, five feet apart because… one of them’s gay” “You changed that” thanks for noticing Jimmy 😂

Parkour Warrior

It’s fun how close Jimmy, Martyn, and Scott are staying to each other

Jimmy’s doing so well!!

Yeah the snake is so counterintuitive this time, kinda love it tho

Me, who has never played minecraft on pc, backseat gaming like a madman: “just flick the mouse, Jimmy”

It would actually be so cool to see a late pkw, it would suck but it’d be interesting

Shane talking about funky symptoms he got while exercising the other day and it being the exact same stuff I just got a diagnosis for ✌️(I doubt Shane has what I do, I get that literally every time I stand up lmao)

Sands of Time

Jimmy’s so excited to be Sam’s daddy 😭

The synchronized “Hi HBomb” :))

I love Jimmy but it bothers me to no end that he doesn’t fill the timer all the way, I can respect keeping one sand just in case but there’s no reason to not fill all the way when you have nine in hand

Solid performance all around, they had good comms and plenty of time

Ace Race

The way the just started talk-singing Hall of Fame 😂

The Kermit impression is solid

I feel like I haven’t watched a team where no one mutes in a while

Shane and Martyn 9th and 10th!!!

Jimmy 15th overall!! Stop putting yourself down, that’s great!!

Meltdown

Martyn is MIA and Shane is just singing Taylor Swift’s Blank Space as Kermit 😭

Rip, definitely not the worst I’ve seen though

Why are they all doing Mumbo impressions???

Battle Box

I think this team will do well and I’m very excited to see people pop off because the only pov I’ve watched so far is cyan and their bb was… rough…

This team either destroys or gets destroyed, there is no in between

Something about the WWWLLLWWW is unreasonably satisfying to me

Dang it, now I wanna look into what games have the highest coin differentials, obviously pvp games are at top but I’m wondering what’s at the bottom

ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN NO MATTER WHAT!! (Fun fact: I only know that song because we played it during football games in my high school marching band)

They’re so chaotic I love them

Sky Battle

“So… where do we wanna go?” “Home… home please” so true Martyn

Fighting lime while in the bubblevator is the most disorienting fight I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something

They’re doing a really good job dividing and conquering and allocating resources

Comms got clogged but they held together, apd went hard tho and I could not for the life of me understand what Scott was trying to say lol

Shane’s keyboard 😭

That ending was so chaotic oh my goodness

Everyone being self-deprecating and Shane just saying “You guys- you guys were there” 😂

Hole in the Wall

I have no idea what all they’re singing but they sound good

This team has such good comms :)

Them all hyping up Shane :)))

Dodgebolt

No 👏 funneling 👏 /pos

Grian’s message :((

“No, not that one, the football one” “I don’t- I’m gay” Scott sounded so confused 😭

Gosh, I love Shane, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone be so excited for a teammate hitting a shot in a 4v4

Martyn joking that he doesn’t know how to run and Jimmy absolutely floundering “Move your legs and move- move your body in… in order to each other” 😂

Gumi’s dodging is wild

SHES POPPING OFF

Shane hyping up his teammates is everything

JIMMY WINNING SHOT!!!! THATS MY GUY!!!

SCOTT 5 WINS!!! AS HE SHOULD!!!!

My little cringefail loser winning the most statistically competitive mcc in history is so him

Callum’s manifesting worked :)

Jimmy prophet arc real

AIMSEY!!!! I wasn’t expecting him to show up but she has teamed with Jimmy and Shane in the last two mccs :D I love xem so much <333

“‘Martyn, we’re you sick this time?’ Yeah, sick of my teammates” I freaking love this team, their banter is everything

I know too much about mcc these days, Scott can say the last time he teamed with Martyn was when he blew him up with the tnt and I instantly knew they were talking about MCC7 lmao

[allthislove]

There's merit in self diagnosis (especially for people without access to good Healthcare/mental Healthcare and because of stigma that can come with formal diagnosis), but TikTok has literally everyone convinced that they're neurodivergent because of behaviors that are typical. There's a reason why diagnosis has thresholds. Like, a lot of people are bothered by certain sounds or smells or whatever, but what makes it a sensory issue is when it's chronically disruptive or you need special ways to cope with how the sensation effects you. People will hear "sensory issue" and be like "omg when I was 5 I couldn't stand the way the glue felt on my fingers in class!" Yeah, that could be a sign of autism, or you... just didn't like the way the glue felt.

Neurotypical doesn't mean "automaton with no variance from the other automatons". People have different things that they like, that bother them, that they don't understand and do understand, that they are averse to. And yes, that can make diagnosis difficult, but that's why there are diagnostic thresholds.

Just like being afraid isn't the same as having an anxiety disorder.

Just like being sad isn't the same as having clinical depression.

Maybe you just didn't like peas. Maybe you just bounce your leg when you're bored. It doesn't necessarily mean you're autistic or ADHD or both. It can help you recognize that you might be neurodivergent in some way, but these are not diagnostic. They're just quirks, and anyone can have them.

Neurotypical doesn't mean you are a cookie cutter person with the exact same temperament as all the other neurotypical people. I see far too many TikToks like "Omg I liked to color code my crayons when I was a kid! I was so (insert diagnosis)". A lot of kids color code. You spend a lot of time in elementary school and daycare/preschool learning about colors and sorting. Those are developmentally typical things to do. That's why schools aren't just calling every kid who hums and daydreams ADHD. It's developmentally normal for children. It's why schools don't call every kid who is afraid of loud noises autistic. It's developmentally typical for young kids to be afraid of loud noises.

Further, not everything about a neurodivergent person is because they're neurodivergent. Their neurdivergence might affect the way they communicate or how they react or something, but they are still people. Just like there's a difference between a true concern (I am worried that my son has diarrhea today) and an irrational anxiety (I am worried that my itchy arm is really skin cancer, though there's no evidence and low risk.) Neurodivergent people can just like things or not like things or do things. Just because an ND person does something, doesn't mean everyone who also does that thing is ND.

I say this as a person with a lot of diagnoses. Self diagnosis can be very helpful. I knew I was OCD before anyone told me professionally. I knew I had PTSD before my therapist confirmed it. But you also have to recognize when symptoms overlap and they don't apply to you. OCD makes me feel paranoid, and schizophrenia also makes people paranoid sometimes, but my symptoms don't align with schizophrenia because my worries aren't based in delusion and I don't experience psychosis. (Although I'm aware that some anxiety disorders and depressive disorders can coincide with psychosis and mania, but these aren't things I experience.)

Also be mindful that social media makes neurodivergence and mental illness seem trendy and cute. I remember when it was popular on this sight to claim everything was an anxiety disorder. Self diagnosis can be helpful, but be mindful that it's not always accurate.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because bro got the sample platter of trauma ok now I have a much better grasp of that discrepancy in his Bible entry about him being both selfless and selfish ugshsbsjs yuki :,)

SO REAL that’s basically what I was imagining too like we all know Aiku’s the 30 yr old uncle but Rin’s time reminds me of like a pissy mid 20 salaryman who hates his 9-5 job and life in general

Bro I don’t even need to be in the fandom to know that the people are WILD

I had to double take at first like did I forget a character’s name but OMGG Yayoi is such a cute name….something about the little oi sound at the end is just >>> and you’re right it does match tabito well?? I wonder if it’s maybe the presence of o and i (on those lines eita and Seiko both have ei? I have no idea if this is actually why the vibes are vibing but…) wait actually that makes me wanna find characters (like Japanese language characters) to match with their names….if this were irl I’d typically be worried if the names would actually be like, nameable in society LMAO but in most media names are usually chosen with specific etymology and meanings in mind to match their characteristics (exhibit A: Karasu LMFAO)

NO FR like let’s push aside the nagireo debate and talk about that??? Bro was HARASSED

LMFAOOOOOOO BRO ok well I’m now increasing my bid to 25k (wait just to clarify are we jumping from 4 to 20 or gradually moving from 4 to 20 my brain is not braining today) wait….thats a good question….for my indecisive ass…..I feel like it’s funny hearing your updates…but at the same time…..being surprised……ok um hm maybe keep me posted until you reach like…12k….i love hearing about your little checkpoint updates but I think we both know it’s gonna be more than 12k probably so don’t mention the wc beyond that so I can keep my estimation like…distant if that makes sense (??? This doesn’t sound like it makes sense but um, yeah! LMAO Honestly anything works just don’t tell me the final wc so I can scream when I see it posted HAHAHA)

Ok judging by this paragraph I’m assuming you meant gradual from 4-20 LOL but I’m laughing like “bro I saw you piss yourself in preschool as a snotty little kid” LMFAOO

Oh yeah huh I forgot about anime only spoiler things oops ok yeah that makes sense…maybe it’s also because we’ve seen them in the movie credits? (That doesn’t rlly explain Karasu’s lack of appearance though) But since kurona like, barely exists in the manga maybe they’re throwing a bone to the kurona fans LMAO

STOPPP NOT THE WHY DID ZANTETSU TAKE HIS GLASSES OFF SHDBDJJSHDOS THATS a good point though maybe his dark hair blends too much into the dark screen room they’re in…and you’re so right they literally could’ve panned the angle up a bit to show his smirk but NO it’s just his blank ass chin (at least we know he doesn’t leave any stubble on his face)

Yuki is such a shoujo male lead like WHAT WAS THAT?? The LN was so much more emotional than the others like you’d forget this is about soccer…between his development from a shy kid to his earnestness and the continued cherry blossom representation like??? And then the heart wrenching he sobs his eyes out after hearing his diagnosis….what also really got to me is how it details how he jumped in to help the boy without even thinking it through clearly putting himself in danger and then the moment of regret as he’s lying on the ground after the boy basically deserted him like??? He’s so real and I love how they show all the inner conflict he goes through….if Chigiri and yuki get kicked out because of injuries I’m gonna lose it like every time someone makes a tiktok about who’s most likely to leave it’s always THOSE TWO like NO but yeah….some other light novels had their sad moments too but it never felt as complex as yuki’s….i know Bachira was bullied too and niko and kinda Kunigami? Shit why is everyone getting bullied…but maybe it’s because I didn’t bother reading them in Japanese and there’s some nuances we missed? The only other one I have on me rn is the Kunigami Hiori Niko one so I’m definitely gonna go back and look but even so something tells me it still wasn’t the same…..I did actually read Hiori’s because I needed to see the original stalking scene in all its glory but I definitely laughed a lot more than I did for yuki’s….for obvious reasons….I’m pulling up what I wrote down for Hiori’s to compare….and it was definitely still really sad in some parts (where he’s like LMAO my parents don’t love me it’s time to disassociate and try to keep the family together) but we see a lot more light hearted moments since Karasu’s there for like half the time!! I think it’s also probably the nature of their struggles too like while Hiori’s question his like idk will to live/motivation?? It feels like the fact that yuki knows exactly what he wants and what he is but he’s fighting to not have it taken away makes it sadder imo. Also laughing my ass off at Karasu helps with forgetting all the sad bits

Starting Barous and off the bat it’s 5 year old Barou being like damn these unsophisticated kids (they’re in the same grade) are so easily pleased (I’m not that far in but that’s the vibe I’m getting from the first five sentences LMAOO)

Aryu’s is by far the shortest at 5 chapters and based off how half the chapter names involve OSHA I’m gonna assume this may be more crack laced HAHA

Part of me wants to imagine that Otoya’s hair was highlighter green and gradually darkened with age (kinda how some people are born redheads but eventually turn blonde) I think that one colored panel of bowl cut Otoya kinda disproves that slightly but I still think it’s funny

Anyways I’ll return with Seiko Yayoi kanji and Barou chapters o7

-Karasu anon

RIN AS A NANAMI KIN omg we got the whole jjk cast here…aiku as toji and yuki as yuta…dare i say barou as a todo equivalent 🤔

RIGHT i thought it was such a cute name when i was doing research!! i do think the i + o helps it fit w tabito well and then the “ei” sound in seiko and eita make them sound similar too 👆🏻 going to be real with you i have this one random website by some person really obsessed with name research bookmarked so i can find non-basic japanese names for when i need to come up w given names for random characters (orie, seiko, yayoi, etc) so as far as i know they’re all actual names?? just on the rarer side (she gives the data of how many babies are given that name per decade and whatnot too which is rlly cool and it mostly is like 0.001% of babies have that name LMAOO but that also abt how many babies were given the names tabito and eita so i think it’s okay). i do usually look up names i use on like linkedin to see if any irl people have them and for the most part there’s always been a few results!! the author of the website includes possible character variations as well but like idk japanese so idk how accurate it is JFDLSKK let me add screenshots!!

i think for seiko the kanji for “force, vigor, energy” (if that’s what it actually is) would make sense for obvious reasons 🤔

HAHAHA okay i will keep you posted until we get to 12k and then after that you can see how close you were to hitting the mark 🤩 i do believe it will be above 12k for sure considering we’re gradually going from 4-20 for karasu and watching them grow up sooo 😫 omg no literally like bro you made me play trains w you why would i make the connection that you’re attracted to me now

iirc reo shidou igaguri and kurona were all on the same second selection team so maybe that’s why?? like maybe they’ll show kunigami getting “kicked out”/sent to wildcard in one of the earlier episodes…that’s the only reason i can think of for that particular group to be there together 😫 nah if they gave karasu stubble i’d cry scream shit tears he does NOT need that i hate it on aiku i’d hate it even more on him

NO BECAUSE THEY STAY GETTING BULLIED WHY IS IT ALL OF THEM (except isagi)?? i think a lot of the light novels either felt like very typical struggles/things we had seen before (chigiri w his leg, half the cast getting bullied), too fantastical to relate to (reo’s rich ass, hiori’s mega strict childhood), or mostly humorous (nagi getting called a demon, hiori stalking karasu) but yuki’s just feels very real and personal almost?? everyone’s had a dream that for whatever reason smth got in the way of them achieving it so seeing yuki struggle like that is very touching!! plus unlike w chigiri where narratively yeah he’s probably going to hurt his leg again, in-universe it’s not a guarantee whereas w yuki he KNOWS it’s going to happen and that there’s nothing he can really do abt it. the sense of inevitability/desperation is so palpable which makes it worse imo!! he’s sooo shoujo coded though especially with the cherry blossoms like free my man from soccer prison and get him into a slice of life romance STAT!!

HAHA i’m glad barou is just him being his usual self idk what i’d do if his backstory was horrifically sad…i’m excited to see what the whole random aiku matchup was abt 🤔 and PLSSS not the osha 😓 aryu is so hard to take seriously like even in fwtkac i could not write him without making him seem ridiculous but he’s genuinely just like that

wait that would be funny but also as a resident horse girl i must give the alternative: grey horses are super dark (like basically black) when they’re young and get progressively lighter as they age until they’re basically white when they’re old SO imagine his streak was super dark when he was a baby and gradually gets lighter so when he’s like 30 it’s going to be mint green or smth 😭

OKAYY I CAN’T WAIT but make sure to rest your eyes 👆🏻 no need to strain them hehe

[saralayne]

Trigger Warning 🩵 🩷

After a call. Kelly is at loss on his wife’s reaction. Boden provides some light. Kelly is determined to give Stella reassurance.

Weeks have passed since that call that left Stella fighting for her life. Because of her actions, Pryma is able to be at home with his wife and daughters. Carver was able to talk about what he went through in his past. For Stella, she had recovered from her injuries. The emotional backlash took a while, she suffered from nightmares on most nights that followed. Kelly, her husband was there to comfort her each time. It broke his heart watching her struggle but eventually they got less and less. Life returned to normal again. Normal routines for Stella followed. She returned to confident Stella again. Bad ass Stella Kidd. Leading her team. With Herman not wanting to leave Cindy and take care of her through this devastating time after they received her cancer diagnosis. Stella took the reigns at Molly’s and was working extra hours. Kelly would spend most nights at Molly’s. Socializing with everyone but also was a nice excuse to be near his wife. He really wasn’t worried about Stella like in the beginning after the grenade call, he was convinced she was Stella again. Until she wasn’t.

Next shift arrived. Squad, 81 and Ambo was dispatched to a call. Upon arrival, there was a report of a possible explosion. Kelly was all ready to go in for search and rescue. Standing side by side, while planning entry. Kelly and Stella were going back and forth, not able to agree on how to proceed. This was automatic, routine for the long time Squad lieutenant, never questioning danger. Usually Stella didn’t either. But, Stella’s heart rate started to race. It felt like it was going to literally beat out of her chest. She was overwhelmed with fear. Stella was desperately trying to formulate a new plan that Kelly would agree to. All she knew was, Kelly going in scared Stella. It now had become much more than work, much more than a professional situation, and much more than two lieutenants working together to save lives. Kelly was becoming increasingly frustrated with his wife. In that moment, he felt she was being stubborn. Feeling Stella wasn’t making a effort to being on the same page. He knew this was the right call.

‘Why was she questioning him?’

“STELLA, we don’t have time to debate this”

As Stella gasped and walked away feeling angry, tears forming in her eyes. Meanwhile, Kelly ordered Squad to go in with their search and rescue mission. Minutes later, mission complete. Rigs returned to 51. Kelly staring at Stella while she emerged from passenger side of her rig. Still obviously upset. As she marched past her husband, making no eye contact and heading straight to her quarters. Kelly was in disbelief, Boden standing next to the Squad lieutenant could sense some tension. Kelly swiping his forehead with the palm of his hand, heading towards his quarters. Hours past and neither had talked to each other. Boden, knowing this couldn’t continue to fester. This was not a marital disagreement, they needed to work together on calls. He knew how stubborn his two lieutenants could be. Boden called both of them into hid office. As they both silently sat down.

“What is going on with you two?”

Still silence.

“OK. I don’t know what’s going on. If this is personal or not. Fix it”

Kelly and Stella both nodding, understanding Boden’s orders. As Kelly started walking towards Stella to hash out whatever the problem was. Kelly was at a loss. He could usually read his wife like a book but in this instance he was utterly confused. Just as he was about to start talking. Bells rang. Both 81 and Ambo was dispatched to another call. Kelly was bothered. ‘What is Stella’s problem?’ This made no sense to him. As he had started to fill out paperwork, Boden walked into Kelly’s office.

“Kelly, I have been sitting in my office and I think I have an idea on what’s going on with Kidd”

“Oh good, Chief. Because I am at a complete loss. She never reacts this way. I know we would eventually have a situation where we would disagree on a call but would never fester like this. She won’t even make eye contact with me. She seems upset. Stella had never had a problem telling me how she feels. If she’s angry, she doesn’t hold back”

“Kelly, I wasn’t there but having heard the details of the call. There was a threat of an explosion, correct?”

“Yes”

All of a sudden. The lightbulb moment flashed through Kelly’s thoughts.

“DAMMIT, Chief. I think I know what’s going on”

“Kelly. Stella has moved forward very well. You and I both know from experience, all it takes is one trigger moment to bring a PTSD episode back to the forefront. Also, since it was you that was heading the rescue. I imagine in that moment she was most likely riddled with fear. What she went through in that house was horrific. Everyone deals with PTSD differently, with their own timetable. We both know Stella as someone who can handle anything with little concern. This forever changed her. She will at some point put this in her rear view mirror. It has not been that long and I believe she is still struggling a little. Day to day life, normal routines, she has no issues but even a small trigger could bring her right back to that day. Knowing that you were a part of that trigger terrified her, if I had to guess”

“Chief. I just don’t know how to help her. Here at work, I have to be able to lead my team and go into dangerous situations at times. This is new territory, she has never had a reaction to our job like this. On a personal level, this breaks my damn heart. I HATE seeing her struggle. The nightmares destroyed me. I felt so helpless not being able to take her pain and frustration away”

“Kelly. Try and talk with her. Hear her out and make sure she hears you as well”

“OK. Thanks Chief”

After shift. They had driven separately as Stella was putting in a few hours at Molly’s. Kelly sat at the bar as usual. Molly’s was very busy so they didn’t talk much and everyone at 51 was present. So, they both put up a united front.

Kelly left first. Arrived at the loft, opened a beer and turned on sportscenter. As he heard Stella’s key turn in the lock. As the door opened, Stella was smiling. Seeming more relaxed than earlier that day. Stella joined her husband on the couch.

“Stel. Babe. We need to talk about what happened on that call this morning. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but are you feeling OK? Please be honest with me”

“Honestly, Kelly. No, I’m not. That call paralyzed with me with fear. Yes, a part of it was a little PTSD but more it made me realize something significant. Maybe, with what happened to me it brought some realizations I would of never had before. I am having trouble compartmentalizing. YOUR MY HUSBAND. It is different now from when we were friends, when we were dating. A layer has been added now”

“Maybe we shouldn’t work together anymore. I know this doesn’t bring issues for you, but it’s become apparent that it has for me. Your the best lieutenant in the CFD and I don’t EVER want to jeopardize that. I never want you to have to consider my irrational feelings. That’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to us. You have always excelled as a lieutenant as your able to make decisions based on what’s best for everyone”

“Stella. STOP. You got this all wrong. We are not going to stop working together. I love working along side of you. We are a great team. In everyway😉. We are going to disagree at times. Just like Casey and I disagreed on many occasions. We just need to be able to talk it out. Hear each other and both of our reasons for certain decisions”

“I’m taking my lieutenant hat off and putting my husband hat on now. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how that call would effect you. What you went through was life changing. You, having to watch me go into that situation of course would be jarring. We have talked about how I felt outside of that damn house, feeling so helpless before I was able to go in. I never want to feel that way again. Honey, I am so sorry I didn’t take that into account. Yes, it was the heat of the moment and I had a one track mind with the task at hand but I should of put myself in your shoes”

“Thank you, Kelly. I know I overreacted. It’s just really scary thinking of worse case outcomes. That call did change me. There is gonna be dangerous situations for both of us. It’s part of the job. I hope once this is behind me once and for all, I will have a different mindset. I’m just not there yet. I will get there. Thank you for never giving up on me”

“Stella, there will NEVER be a situation or a time where I would ever give up on you. EVER. Your strong, brave and beautiful. What happened will never change that. I’m so proud of you everyday. Your an amazing leader. I will spend my life reminding you of that, even in times where you doubt yourself”

“You, truly are my perfect man. Kelly Severide”

[ghostoftheyear]

not looking for sympathy, just need to talk

so my living situation, which I thought was all right, is suddenly being ripped out from under me. I have lived in this apartment for 9 years, but my older cat (Aidan) has been pissing in a corner for far longer than I realized. Blame it on a combination of my lack of smell and inability to clean the litter boxes as often as they should be cleaned. Two years ago this caused the apartment office to start a recarpeting project in my apartment, because it was so bad neighbors were complaining. This was with my complete compliance. They did the main part of the apartment first (kitchen and hallways got new vinyl flooring, dining room/living room got new carpeting and all the floors were sealed as well), and then once I’d reset all that and cleared out the second bedroom, that was done too. The master bedroom has not been touched because this all requires a lot of physical effort on my part, but now it doesn’t matter anyway. I guess Aidan is still peeing in that same goddamn corner and the complaints are still coming in.

So my lease isn’t being renewed. I got a notice that I have to be out by May 31st. When I called (confused, as I hadn’t expected any of this), I was told about the continuing complaints. I honestly thought it would be better once the carpet was replaced and all the old marking smells were gone, but apparently cats are creatures of habit and Aidan just picked up where he left off.

I feel like this makes me out to be some kind of awful basement-dwelling gremlin who can’t keep anything clean. And in a way I suppose it does, since in our society, cleanliness is a mark of how “good” you are. And since I’m not “good” enough, I’m being kicked out. It doesn’t matter that I actually physically have almost no sense of smell and that I’m exhausted all the time and that even maintaining a regular job is something I have difficulty considering. As far as anyone else is concerned, I am not a capable human being. Because I’m not! I have a fucking disability.

Unfortunately, I have no documentation for said disability. I have no medication, no diagnosis, no doctor’s word. Not that anyone cares about mental disabilities anyway.

So all this means I have to find a new place to live -- which, at least is through the end of May, for some reason I thought I only had until the end of April and I’m glad I doublechecked. I want to find something more house like, if not an actual house, so that if Aidan starts this crap again I at least won’t have neighbors complaining about the smell. I’m finally looking for a job because it only literally just occurred to me to look for something simple like remote data entry. I’m not going to bother trying to take action against this place, because I just don’t have the energy. I’ve loved living here; it literally bettered my whole life to have a washer and dryer to myself and a dishwasher so all the dirty stuff wasn’t just piling up forever. I know now that I need those things to function. But it’s time to move on so I guess I’m moving on. I’m past panic mode and now I’m just trying to gather resources and find somewhere I can live.

This is why I revived my commissions post, btw, for all the good that did. Thanks to everyone who reblogged it. Wish me luck finding a new place.

[nuka-rockit]

That’s literally just burn out. Pretty universal :/

I really dont know what you think this anon will achieve

[fractalsuggestions]

ok, so, this isn't the type of post i usually use this blog for, but i seriously think dpdr isnt talked about enough.

dpdr, dp/dr, or dpd stands for depersonalization-derealization disorder, a dissociative disorder where one experiences either continuous or persistent, repeated episodes of depersonalization and/or derealization.

depersonalization: a type of dissociation, disconnect from one's self or feeling as though one's self/identity isn't one's own

derealization: a type of dissociation, disconnect from one's surroundings that causes feeling as though oneself or one's surroundings aren't real

both of these can be scary as hell, especially if you don't know what it is. the wikipedia page for dpdr literally includes this statement:

Recognizing and diagnosing the condition may in itself have therapeutic benefits, many patients express their problems as baffling and unique to them, but are in fact: one, recognized and described by psychiatry; and two, those affected by it are not the only individuals to be affected from the condition.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization-derealization_disorder

This is something I can attest to with my own experiences! It was EXTREMELY DISTRESSING to depersonalize on and off for months before finally coming across the term 'depersonalization' and realizing, 'oh, that's what's happening to me.'

of course it still fucking sucks even knowing what's going on. when i'm depersonalizing (my dpdr is episodic and wayy more heavy on the depersonalization, though derealization does occur for me occasionally) it gets super hard to do things and talk to people. it's hard to even explain how and why because that's another thing! dpdr is so hard to explain. especially if you don't know there's a WORD for it!! which makes it even more isolating.

that's the thing about it. the isolation. that's why i'm making this post! for everyone who experiences this, and thinks they're the only one: you're not alone. listen, if you depersonalize, derealize, or both, and are scared, ashamed, or even don't mind but don't know what it is, listen: you're not alone.

i'm going to admit something here, because it's something i've never heard anyone else talk about, but i'm sure there's other people who deal with this. this is pretty embarrassing for me, but it shouldn't be! i can't control it and it sucks to experience. often when i'm depersonalizing, it's not just a vague 'away' from myself, but also 'towards' a fictional character. this is kind of hard to explain. i'll feel like i was, should be, or should have been, someone/something else, even knowing for certain it's just me.

tl;dr depersonalization-derealization disorder exists and isn't talked about enough, and if you have dpdr, you're not alone

(This user and this post supports self-diagnosis!)

(Please do not say 'this sounds like [x]' or try to argue with me about my own depersonalization. i promise, whatever possibility you're thinking of, I've already thoroughly considered it. i know my brain better than you do.)

(This post is ok for anyone to rb! Seriously, I want to spread the word)

QUICK EDIT: other ppl with dissociative disorders (especially dpdr) are 100% free to add on or correct me on any points here! unless you're arguing against self diagnosis in which case don't bother i will block you.

[anonym-potato]

The Entire Main Cast of Stranger Things are Autistic have some headcanons - Part 2!

Sequel to this post.

Erica:

• Blunt as hell about everything at all times and will not apologize for it.

• Hates it when things touch her face. Specifically her face, she couldn’t tell you why.

• Learned to read way before every other kid in her grade and holds it over their heads.

• She didn’t actually mind crawling through the vents because of their size, just how dusty they were. She likes small spaces, they’re good for hiding in, but dust is the devil.

• Shares her brother’s distaste for strong smells. Unlike him, she just out and out told Steve his cologne was gross (he did stop wearing it, but Lucas was still grumpy with her)

• Refuses to believe something is ‘different’ about her because that makes her like her brother, who’s a huge nerd. And she’s totally not a nerd. Totally.

• Overalls…comfy. Good pressure stim.

Steve:

• The only one of these folks who actually has a diagnosis (and that wasn’t a sure thing, it was the 80s), so everyone always asks him about the ‘right’ terms for things, but he doesn’t care.

• Mimicmimicmimic, it makes peopling easier. He honestly didn’t realize he was being an asshole until Jonathan beat the shit out of him, and then he felt like garbage for a while.

• The hair routine is the Same Every Day which is Good. It makes it easier to have that sorted out every morning.

• Has the uncanny ability to turn literally anything into an impromptu stim toy. Gloves? Textbooks? His mom’s nice vase? In Steve’s hands, they can be stimmy. He even only chipped the vase instead of shattering the whole thing.

• The Scoops Ahoy uniform is made of the most itchiest fabric to exits GET IT OFF ME-

• Makes popcat noises all the time when he’s thinking.

• He’s used to acting like he doesn’t need help or support, because his parents expected this to be something he could ‘get over’, so he has a bad habit of saying he’s fine even when he’s really really Not.

Nancy:

• High compassion, low empathy. It can make social situations difficult even though she has a decent grasp of subtext and sarcasm by now - are you being stanfoffish because you’re tired? Angry? Upset? Please tell me so I can respond appropriately.

• The steryotypical ‘gifted’ neurodivergent kid who blazed through everything in elementary school and had to learn how to study several years later than everyone else.

• Sun Too Bright. Must Wear Sunglasses At All Times.

• She’s the first person in the group (after Joyce) to advocate for saying something if you need help. They all have to fight monsters and graduate school together, this extra mutual weirdness is nothing. Steve nobody minds if you need to go lay down because you have no people charge left you big doofus.

• On that note, she Steve and Jonathan have been competing to find The Comfiest Jacket Possibly for years now. She found the current top contender and is very proud of it.

• Has used the same kids shampoo that smells like strawberries since she was five and hasn’t changed it since because it’s part of the routine.

• Hyperfocushyperfocushyperfocus. She doesn’t know how to stop doing the thing when she feels like she has to do the thing.

Jonathan:

• Is always wearing jackets because everything ever makes his skin mad and it Sucks.

• Eye contact is the worst thing in the world and making it is impossible sometimes. He just looks at people’s chins and hopes they don’t notice.

• Was less willing to compromise himself to appease Lonnie and got a lot of shit for it, but never said anything because he didn’t want to ‘bother’ Will and Joyce. He’s very used to bottling all the Gross Feelings up until he can’t hold them in anymore and it is unsurprisingly bad for his mental health.

• Music is so sounds you guys, it’s the best to rock to, you’re not moving Dustin are you okay?

• Special Interest in photography, in case it wasn’t obvious. He and Will have spent many an afternoon infodumping back and forth.

• Leg bounce. Always with the leg bounce. He’s a fan of thumper, okay?

• There is a Routine, you stick to the Routine, it is important, wait what do you mean the plan has changed NANCY WHAT-

Robin:

• Really struggled with verbal language as a kid, sometimes talking just Doesn’t Happen, she learned ASL but didn’t know anyone else who knows it for a while. She’s now teaching it to most of the others.

• She tells Steve about it after they get the job at the video store, and she expected him to be cool about it but he was all ‘Oh yeah me too!’ And it was the best feeling.

• She also found the Scoops Ahoy uniform unbearable itchy and she and Steve had a post-Fourth of July bonfire in which they burned them.

• Cracks her joints all the time because the popping sound is Nice.

• Special Interest in linguistics, she likes to joke that language is her best friend and worst enemy.

• Super sensitive to patterns, she can figure out people’s schedules with freakishly little information. It’s kinda scary.

• The social battery has very limited capacity. If you attempt to speak to her after work, you are lucky if you get a response that isn’t just her middle finger.

The adults will get their own post.

Update: it’s here!

[mkboys]

Hi!! How accurate would you say MK’s DID rep is overall?

Hi there! We have mixed opinions on this sort, take away the hero aspect of it, the supernatural abilities and transitions and sound effects, then we would have a closer reality of DID. I do praise the writers for keeping it in the perspective of whoever is current in control, and I specify control and not fronting. Steven was a gatekeeper in the system as he could keep up a ‘wall between us’ as Marc told him, but what has changed honestly I believe they are slowly answering that with the possibility of a third alter. The homicidal alter is… certainly terrifying and inaccurate. I wouldn’t want to be friends with that bloke. And since they’re not getting therapy and having full education on terminology I can’t be overly bothered by the “give me the body” demands they make at each other. There has to be some balance in the system, ironically shown through the scales when Arthur says he has “chaos” inside of them. When you first learn about your system, everything is turned topsyturvy. The fear is real. The switches happen more often, not consensual switching. There can be a change in their ‘roles’ as a system. Marc well. I cannot decide if he’s a protector or persecutor. I believe he is becoming a protector, not cutting Steven off as much, but I now believe he wouldn’t be able to as Steven has more gatekeeping ability than Marc. (Quentin) Ironically we do switch mid conversation. it’s so hard to watch them struggle because at some point they will stop trying and accept it. communication as a system is not always so easy as it is for Marc and Steven. their version of co-fronting using the stuck in the mirror cliché is to convey to us what it feels like as a system member, it feels like someone is squeezed against your own ears. tho you can’t always hear what is going on you can be like a silent observer kind (Theo+Isaac were for some time while I was front-stuck. Marc would prefer to be frontstuck, aka no switching for who knew how long. which can be scary if you didn’t have any idea how long this would go on) (Isaac) Their emotions can spill into your own or remain entirely separate. Marc loses the front due to Steven begging him to stop, that small distraction, that bit of empathy is enough to make him slip out and Steven to step in. That’s an example of accidental switching. It’s unlikely wanted vs when it’s consensual and mutually planned/agreed upon. We prefer a lot more ‘natural’, where we see Marc accepting that Steven should solve the constellation puzzle. It’s exactly as silly is it sounded, when Isaac fronts he does have a chipper kick to his voice and it may seem comical to those who don’t know. But those who do know, know. There’s a connection and it starts to spread through your system like electricity, “Oi! We do that! Damn explained it by showing it instead of telling!” Marc well hench, and we’re starting to fancy him more after he owned up that he is Not well, it is so fucking accurate. His pain hurts. He didn’t ask for this. They formed from early childhood trauma that can go undetected too. Like for instance, our lack of memories and lack of attachment to the bodies teenage years. It can hurt the lot to think about, Quentin says they get dizzy/disassociate whenever they try to map us out. This is why therapy, diagnosis, grounding technique is needed. Obviously not everyone is capable of doing that. Marc is literally not capable for several reasons, his sodding ego, his mission, and feeling like the control is lost and that’s what’s been breaking him down even more. The unknown possible 3rd alter may be a recent split, a common thing that will happen when put into extreme stress. So most of it, I think we agree as a system it’s accurate. I enjoy seeing them switch, it’s like a hit of dopamine for me. Probably shouldn’t, but you know, brains are weird. Thank you for your question!

[fandumbug]

Ok so I’m about to Rant™️

I’m autistic and this makes me deeply uncomfortable.

It comes across as fetishizing and dismissive and ableist.

Autism is a LOT more than just ‘Aw, they talk about (very specific thing) for a long time sometimes’, and fidget toys and anime. It isn’t cute. It isn’t quirky. And I personally find the reduction of the disorder to be dehumanizing and degrading.

Autism is also having meltdowns, taste/texture/sound dysphoria, going non-verbal, being treated as sub-human by most neurotypicals, and feeling like the way (i) exist is Wrong.

I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was 22/23. And when I did, everything clicked into place. Why I felt so different despite trying my absolute best to ‘be normal’. Why I was talked down to and treated as stupid by adults, why other kids called me retarded, why more than one teacher has gone full-blown red-in-the-face screaming at me while I have no idea what I’ve done wrong. One teacher literally took everything off of my desk and bodily threw it across the room into the trash before I was forced to sit in the hallway for the rest of the day, for over an hour. This was in 2000, so not that long ago. And I’m ‘on the high functioning end of the spectrum’.

^that shit traumatized me. I doubt and second guess myself all the time because of it. Heaven forbid I finally trust a person or group enough to tell them that I’m autistic, then I get the ‘but you’re so NORMAL!’ reaction. Thanks, it’s because of a literal lifetime of having to pretend to be something I’m not just to be treated like everyone else except I still screw it up sometimes. The imposter syndrome is very real and it screws with me constantly.

Autistics are more likely to be abused and murdered by their caregivers and partners than neurotypicals. There is a national hate group (Autism Speaks) that seeks to eradicate us. There is a massive worldwide movement of people who won’t vaccinate their children, because they’d rather have a dead child than a child like me.

Ok so obviously this bothers me beyond ‘really uncomfortable’. It pisses me off. This is like an even worse version of ‘big titty goth gf’ all over again. You want an autistic partner because it’s cute when they info dump? What about when they physically cannot stop themselves from making an annoying sound or having a panic attack/meltdown over something ‘trivial’? What about when it embarrasses you? It won’t be cute then. Fuck off.

I don’t care that it’s just a meme or joke, there are people out there who actually behave this way and it’s disgusting. I was going to put this under a read more but no, if I have to see this shit in all of my feeds, you can deal with one angry post on one website.