#if I have to see Eowyn turn evil and people go on about it like 'omg yesss girlboss slay <3' ONE more time I'm going to start biting

[a-lonely-dunedain]

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[djemsostylist]

I've talked before about why I don't like the changes to Galadriel's character, but I have been thinking more about themes lately, and I think changing Galadriel into a Warrior Princess (tm), not only fundamentally alters the character beyond recognition, but it also completely erases what I think an important theme of all of Tolkien's works.

In both Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion, characters who are strictly martial--that is, who take up arms as a predominant occupation (whether defensively or offensively) do not, in general, end their narratives peacefully. In fact, by and large, characters whose primary occupation is war almost always die because of it, and generally without achieving the ends which they so desperately sought. Now, this doesn't mean Tolkien is saying all fighting is bad--I'd argue that he sees the need for both offense or defense as a necessity to protect and preserve, but the characters who can wield a sword when need calls but are not solely arms bearers are often able to find the peace, fulfillment, and happiness that their counterparts do not.

Take for example, Boromir vs Faramir. Boromir is chiefly a soldier, and while Faramir can and does fight, he is also a scholar. He strives for more than glory in battle. Of the two, Faramir is the one who is able to achieve the peace he has long sought while Boromir, who does still die bravely and honorably, dies with his goals unfinished. Or take Eowyn, who lives for the glory and death that war can provide. It's only when she lets go of the need for death and battle and turns to find joy in healing and growing things, that she is able to find a measure of peace.

We can even look to examples of elves. Celeborn, though certainly martial (he has commanded armies) is also known as Celeborn the Wise primarily, and each one of the kingdoms he and Galadriel established after the War of the Wrath became a safe haven and a refuge for their people. Lorien stands as testament to that fact. Elrond, who likewise has fought battles, is known primarily as a healer and a scholar, and his house is a place of refuge and healing. Of the elves in the first age, the ones who faired the best were Turgon, who simply established his kingdom and conducted no more war (until the betrayal) and Thingol, who likewise established a kingdom and, after his initial fighting to establish a safe cordon, protected it with magic and by and large stayed out of the fighting of the outside world, and remained safe (again, until outside forces acted on him). All of Feanor's son come to ruin, and even Fingolfin and his children (and the majority of Finarfin's) don't fair well in their constant fight against Morgoth.

Or compare Turin to Tuor--Turin's life is an outright tragedy, where Tuor's life is somewhat more golden. Or, perhaps the most obvious example, Aragorn--"the hands of a king are the hands of a healer." It's not the fighting he does at the battle of Pelennor that matters--it's the peace and healing he brings to the sick and injured after. Or, you know, how about how it's the hobbits, in the end, who, without fighting, still save the world.

Now, again, this isn't to say that Tolkien views all fighting or battles as evil or wrong and punishes the characters who do this. But I think there is something to be said about the difference between living for battle and battling to live. Sometimes wars must be fought and lives must be taken, but there is the sense that there must be something more than battles and fighting, and that often it is in protection and healing that we find peace.

Galadriel is the keeper of Nenya, whose powers are preservation and concealment. Galadriel, unlike the majority of her family, has not spent her life in middle earth waging war. In fact, in all of Tolkien's possible histories for Galadriel, the common thread is that she does not take up arms (save for fighting against the Feanorians at Alqualonde, depending on the history). During the first age, she spends her time mostly in Doriath, learning from magic from Melian, and becoming probably the most powerful Noldor in Middle Earth. In the second age, again, she is establishing homes and sanctuaries and kingdoms. Even at the very end, overthrowing Dol Guldor, it is using the magic she has to destroy it's walls.

There is power, I think, in this idea, that power and strength can come from more than one's ability to wield a sword. I'd argue that Galadriel being a wife, a mother, a member of the White Council and the strongest Noldor remaining in Middle Earth is more than enough.

The idea of making her the same sort of female empowerment fantasy, somehow superpowered but not quite enough, but ultimately an empty shell, as the vast majority of heroines lately, runs completely counter both to her character, and to the larger themes of Tolkien's works. It is, once again, taking something and changing the meaning in it's entirety, until it has been perverted beyond recognition. Galadriel should be worth more than the next YA heroine, created in a studio factory somewhere to appeal to the widest swath of viewers based on algorithms created by corporations whose sole motivation is printing money. She deserves better.

[tolkien-feels]

So I too began rereading lotr (not bc of you pffft ofc not im my own person wdym) and i gotta ask. What do you think about the eomer and gimli's discussion of arwen vs galadriel. i didn't notice it as a kid but to present me it rlly turns me off their characters though esp eomer's bc he always talks so strangely about even eowyn or how he talked to the poc coded druedain characters too. do you think this whole ish is just the product of the time or is this a deliberate flaw put there specifically

Oof, this one is difficult to answer because I feel like there are several layers to this.

Usual disclaimer that I'm not the best person to talk about this, because scholars make entire careers out of exploring the interplay between author, society, and text. You've asked for how I personally interact with this scene so I'll say that but please take it with as many grains of salt as you can find.

Under a cut because this got long.

Okay, let me go through the layers I think of when I read this scene.

One layer is that Tolkien's work does contain sexist elements (although if you go through HoME, you can see his depiction of female characters improves a lot over time, which is why I feel this was very much him being a product of his time, and as he matures, he began to address his own biases, although of course, his portrayal ultimately doesn't hold up to modern day sensibilities, nor does intention stop readers from feeling uncomfortable), and his views on race are very problematic on multiple levels (and these remain more consistent, I would argue). So a part of that is definitely, imho, just Tolkien showing his biases.

Another layer, though, is that he's very much borrowing from medieval ideas. It's a major trope in medieval literature to have knights praise ladies and quarrel with each other over whose lady is best (which is often tied to beauty, although physical beauty is tied to virtue, so discussing beauty and discussing virtue are often one and the same in medieval literature.) Now, Tolkien started out having dwarves be all evil, and even in The Hobbit, the dwarves are not usually very courtly. That Gimli is shown repeatedly speaking of aesthetics, reciting poetry, and holding Galadriel as the lady whose favor he values strikes me as Tolkien trying to show Gimli's nobility, which is comparable to Eomer's, a prince/king.

Yet another layer is that Eomer specifically is meant to be a character who wouldn't be out of place in a story such as Beowulf. When his views seem Bad, I'm pretty sure they are meant to be, and some characters actually push back on that at times. Not just on his own personal views, but Rohan's as a whole. The people of Rohan are very honorable and heroic, but their views on elves are demonstrably wrong, and Tolkien is interested in how, while heroic, their ideas of death-as-a-noble-pursuit are ultimately out of step with how Middle-Earth works (where life is nearly always celebrated.) I'm not sure we can extend that to the Druedain, because Tolkien's own views on the Druedain seem to me veeeery problematic, but it's not impossible to headcanon that this, too, is a cultural bias of the Rohirrim.

(Side note: nobody comes off looking very good in the whole Eowyn fiasco, but Tolkien seems to be taking Eowyn's side while acknowledging that the people around her mean well and aren't out to make her miserable. For somebody who struggles writing female characters, Tolkien shows a marked interest in exploring the limited choices women have in life, especially in wartime, and how often even good, honorable men are horrible to them because they're simply too self-centered.)

Anyway, back to the issue at hand, I also think it's important to remember that in the context of the scene, Gimli and Eomer are clearly just being playful. I believe they're high off the end of war and joking around with hyperbole. I don't think we necessarily can extrapolate this is how they would normally think about the women around them, nor do I think Tolkien wants us to.

Finally, this scene is barely about Galadriel, or Arwen, or Gimli, or Eomer. It's about Morning that has become Evening. The time of the high elves (as represented by Galadriel) is ending, and now it's time for Gondor to protect and guide Middle-Earth (as represented by Arwen.) Elves are fading, men are coming into their inheritance. Galadriel and Arwen are personifying concepts here, and I don't think it's a coincidence that Gimli (who will also leave Middle-Earth soon-ish) is siding with the Morning and Eomer (a mortal man) is siding with Evening. Again, metaphors.

Sooooo basically, I think while the scene is uncomfortable to read (as are many scenes in Tolkien), my personal take is that any analysis that reads this scene as Free Of Authorial Bias is overlooking aspects, while any analysis that reads this scene as Just Typical Sexism is failing to consider other aspects. It's Complicated, as usual

[sparklyslug]

Okay I know you’ve talked about Eddie as Faramir but let’s TALK about STEVE as EOWYN…….decides after having seen battle that he wants something completely different with his life than what he’s been told is the path of glory…..”I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend”……adopts a hobbit wholesale and brings him into battle…….puts himself between his loved ones and the danger, always…..literally his entire character arc is just him taking off his helmet and being all “I am no douchebag!!!!!”

Anyway “let us dwell in fair ithilien” jogged my brain cells and I digress. Just a lot of feels going on over here!!!!!

OH BUDDY OH MAN YOU HAVE SO TOTALLY GOT ME WE ABSOLUTELY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!

Because you are absolutely right and correct and i'm obsessed with this now. Everything you say here!!! Fucking amazing and phenomenal!!! HE DOES NOT LOVE THE NAIL STUDDED BAT FOR ITS SHARPNESS. HE LOVES ONLY THAT WHICH IT DEFENDS. I AM NO DOUCHEBAG!!

OKAY SO LIKE LETS GO INNNNNNN. How Eowyn is stuck at the beginning of Two Towers, trapped taking care of her ailing uncle in the gathering dark, all alone. A morning of pale spring still clinging to winter's chill. Kind of stuck, waiting, not sure what the future is gonna be for her and her brother but knowing shit is bAD SHIT HAS GOTTEN VERY BAD AND SHIT IS LIKELY TO GET WORSE. But what can she do? Who is around that she can turn to? A wacky gang crash lands into her life to suck her into their epic crusade, and that kickstarts her journey but ultimately her path is her own, and her heroism is her own, it comes from her. STEVE HARRINGTON!!! STEEEEEVE!!! HARRINGTONNNN!!!! Is so loyal, will not be left at home to wait and watch when the people he loves is in danger. He doesn't crave glory the way Eowyn does, but he will absolutely put his body on the line again and again between the forces of evil and those who need his protection, and that is absolutely an Eowyn trait.

And also like, to take it there. What does Steve fear? A cage. To spend his life behind bars the way that his parents did, until use and age just make him accustomed to it and he forgets what else he wanted. I don't know if Steve initially fears the cage so much as he is already inside it, kind of clinging to it even. Nancy understands the pattern they're falling into waaaay before Steve does, because to Steve his cage of parties and fun and status isn't unwelcome yet, is something I think he is sort of not always actively trying to get back but certainly something he's kind of trying to hold on to in some ways even into Season 3 with his Scoops Ahoy Strikeout Steve woes haha.

Or, to frame it a different way, maybe he's chasing the dream of that life the way that Eowyn is chasing the dream of dying gloriously in battle. His life and his parents' lives aren't the cage--in some ways they're the goal for him. Domesticity, middle class suburban living, kind of what he's had but also with a happiness and contentment and love he's never experienced. But, like with Eowyn, it's a shallow understanding of what that life actually involves and requires and actually looks like in reality. And ultimately neither of them are necessarily suited for this dream that they're carrying. For her, of valor and death in battle, for him, of a white picket fence life of heternormative bliss. Eowyn IS a warrior and Steve IS loved and someone's future husband but like. They can't seem to recognize that they already HAVE the essential elements of the dream they want for themselves, they don't need to chase it to its furthest (unattainable, deadly) extent and consider anything less than that to be a failure.

And also! Like! Does Eowyn really love Aragorn? She sees his qualities and she admires him, and even more than that, she's captivated by what he represents: a leader of men, a noble warrior, a hero. A representative of the kind of life she wants to have, the kind of person she really wants to be. Isn't that what Nancy is to Steve? A leader, someone smart, someone who is kind and good when everyone else around him is largely uninterested in being either. She represents the kind of life he wants to have too: the six kids in the Winnebago, the big happy family. And represents the kind of person he wants to be, in how she leads the Party and is so so smart and capable, never the babysitter but the badass in charge. Eowyn clings to Aragorn as a symbol, perhaps more than she does to him as a person. It's not THE reason they don't work out, but damn it's absolutely A reason. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR AT ALL.

I HAVE SO MANY EOWYN EMOTIONS AND AM RUNNING ON TWO HOURS OF SLEEP SO I NEED TO CUT IT SOMEWHERE but also like.

Eddie as Faramir and the two of them sharing custody of hobbits and sharing a love that's not about ideals and not about pity and not about anything other than seeing each other so clearly and finding that beautiful, fuck me up fuck me up.

[procrastinationonvacation]

Bear with me here, but I am firm in my belief that the tapestries in the Halls of Mandos function like movie screens, showing either important events or important people (often said important people are just going about their daily lives).

So all the dead members of the House of Finwe just sit around a tapestry with imaginary popcorn and watch the world. Some of it is tragic and moving of course, but so much of it is benine (they spend the majority of the second age trying to figure out who Gil-galads parents are).

But once things start happening in the third age (in which our movie-watchers have previously split their time alternatively encouraging Galadriel to deck Saruman in the face, and getting weirdly invested in Shire politics) they quickly develop a favourite hero. Said hero is Eowyn. She reminds them all of Aredhel, and by the time she joins the army they’re all in mass support of everything she does.

What I’m saying is that once Eowyn actually fights the Witch-King, she has the entire House of Finwe cheering her name, and when she wins they all riot so hard Namo kicks them out of the Halls. Naturally both Maedhros and Anaire (once someone tells her about it) lament the fact that they couldn’t marry Eowyn instead of their current husbands, and the rest of the family vehemently insist that Arwen chose the wrong mortal.

HCanon I absolutely ADORE THIS. However, if it doesn’t culminate in Gandalf being forced to go back to ME to “go get our girl” under pain of death until Eowyn is like “no I’m good” at which point Olorin has to haul ass *back* to Valinor, while a very upset Faramir is protesting that he’d like to see the undying lands, pretty please with a cherry on top. (I love Faramir very much and im sorry)

Also, just to be clear: they know Saruman is bad news pretty early and are angrily yeeting popcorn, almonds, and the occasional knife whenever he shows up on screen. At first Namo thinks its just them being Overly Aggressive, and honestly, the Feanorians aren’t quite sure why they hate him so much either. But at some point Saruman does turn evil and the valar do concede that when it comes to being oddly in tune with exactly who is “a traitorous piece of shit” the shiny murder family (minus Celebrimbor who is a kind and innocent soul) takes the cake.

--

Further bonus: they demand occasional cuts to Maglor, which is then spliced in comedically, in a “Meanwhile Maglor” segment which could well be the same clip over and over. *insert that meme where the child wipes away a movie screen characters tear*

--

When Frodo first shows up, he is almost crushed by the whole family demanding to meet the mayor. Frodo is really confused who “the mayor” is and if he is also “the potato man” until he finally exclaims “Why that’s SAM!” He is swiftly informed that no one ever calls him that, jeeze, but yes that’s “Sam.” Where is “Sam.”

They also go after Galadriel for giving Sam that tree and magic dirt because she really upset the balance of power there, but did she even consider that?? NOOOOO. She didnt.

There were all those rumors of Sam’s mayor ship being blessed. Was she aware of that?? Of the ridiculousness she’d brought into what was normally Good Ordered Politics!!! Galadriel’s like “fuck yeah I did think about that actually, and can you Really say Sam doesn’t deserve a little bit of awe from the people there”

The Feanorians realize that, being Galadriel, Galadriel is RIGHT. And since they have no sense of a middle ground, they get in contact with their sleeper agent Maglor (who’s obviously a sleeper agent and very much in contact with them, shut up). Who will now fulfill my life’s ambition of forming a cult as a (in)famous bard. The cult of Samwise the potato man. Sam would like to know what the Fuck is going on and he shows up to Valinor with Questions. (please ignore this paragraph, I just want a cult)

--

Of course they’re also very pleased with Frodo, who is Small and a very precious little guy. Because we ALL love Frodo.

--

Thanks so much for the ask, your head canons are hilarious and full of life as always. Have a great day :)

-Sam

[artemisdesari-blog]

Why I Find Tauriel Problematic; An Essay On My Thoughts, Feelings, And Why Ambivalence Has Turned Into Frustration and Distaste

Although I have only been back on the fanfiction horse for about two years, and what a wonderful two years those have been, my brief stint writing fanfiction for The Hobbit has shown me a great deal about the fandom, and one of those things is that Tauriel is something like Marmite. For those unfamiliar with Marmite, it is a British salty yeast extract spread that is either utterly delicious or utterly vile depending on the tastes of the one eating it. The marketing slogan for it is “You either love it or hate it”, so even the manufacturers are aware that enjoyment of their product is a very subjective thing. Tauriel seems to polarise the fandom almost as much as said yeast extract, although there is a little more mid range ambivalence towards her as well. For me, personally, I prefer to pretend that she never existed in the movies at all, something that I will get into at a later date. That ambivalence has, sadly, shifted to distaste.

It is no secret that in popular literature and culture there is a very glaring absence of strong female characters. To the extent that when your Captain Janeways, Samantha Carters, Natasha Romanovs and so on pop up they become worth commenting on. Tolkien, of course, is no saint where this is concerned. It is glaringly obvious that for every Lúthien, Galadriel, Arwen and Eowyn there are dozens of male characters who play far greater roles in the saving of the world. In fact, The Hobbit is without strong female characters entirely, being a novel completely dominated by the male Company of Thorin Oakenshield, including the title character. Considering who Tolkien is supposed to have originally written the tale for, the source myths that he referenced and prevailing attitudes of the time, it is unsurprising. In fact, that characters like Eowyn and Galadriel pop up at all, not discounting Lúthien whose romance with Beren was said to have some inspiration from Tolkien’s own marriage, is impressive all things considered. 

With that in mind, let us consider the matter of Tauriel. She was not in the book, and while I can see why the studio wanted her added to the film they later made decisions about her which sat, and still do sit, very poorly with me. Generally speaking, as a writer, I prefer to try ignoring the fact that she exists in the movies, even if I reference the movie appearances of the dwarves to avoid writing about too many bearded males with white or blue or blond hair. If I do reference her it is usually in passing and with no intention to do anything further with her other than acknowledge that she was added to the cast. Frequently, however, I get asked the questions “Will Kíli and Tauriel be forming an attachment?”. “How do you plan to handle the romance between Kíli and Tauriel given the relationship you’ve been building with X character?”, “Why do you dislike her so much?”. I’ve even been accused of disliking her from the misogynistic view point of “the evil female who corrupts the helpless males,” which is frankly offensive and not at all the case.

To the first two questions: she is not book canon, I do not need to address the so-called romance because there is nothing in Tolkien’s canon to support her existence and thus the romance. To the last question… well, that one is a little more complicated and requires an in depth examination of her introduction, actions and interactions with Kíli, as well as his personality as established over the course of the films since we have precious little to go on in the books.

First, let us look at Kíli. He is a flirt. We know that, we see him flirting with various elves during dinner in Rivendell. Beyond that, however, we see very little of his tastes or preferences, although it is probably fair to assume that he is probably something of a romantic as well. As much as he is a main character, he is still more of a background character compared to Bilbo and Thorin. It is, after all, about the hobbit of the piece. He is young, either just about to turn 77 or not long having done so and that makes him young enough that we get the impression that he and Fíli both are still of an age where it is perfectly natural to idolise their uncle and be desperate for his approval. We see that the few times he is dressed down he feels it very keenly. We also see that he is playful and open, perhaps the most playful and open of all of them except, maybe, Bofur. He is curious, perfectly capable of giving his all when it comes to a fight and Gandalf refers to him as one of Thorin’s best alongside his brother and Dwalin. 

We also see him flip from open and loving, though perhaps infatuated is a better word, to cold and murderous in a moment, so we can probably include passionate in all things in that as well.

Now, let us look at Tauriel. Unlike Kíli, we have no set age for her. We know that she is young for an elf, but the ages given range from somewhere around 600 to 1,400. There is one quote placing her at 1,347 but it is in a sea of conflicting information. Regardless, she is young, she is idealistic and curious. She has never left Mirkwood and has dedicated much of the last few decades to attempting to curb the influx of giant spiders which are spreading from Dol Guldur while arguing with Thranduil; who wants his borders kept clear but refuses to deal with the source of the threat. An attitude not unfamiliar to many of us, sadly. She has the friendship of a prince of Mirkwood but is declared not good enough for him. Also, not an uncommon attitude in those who could be thought of as nobility.

She, like any being that has literally had hundreds of years to practice, is incredibly good with her weapons and pings and flips around like the others of her kind. Given her youth and position we can conclude that she is considered unusually skilled for her age but she still has the advantage of living forever, unless she tires of life or is killed, to keep improving her skills.

Finally, let us look at the history between elves and dwarves. It is not a pretty one. They come together for the sake of occasional trade, or to face the threat of Morgoth, and later Sauron, and their armies, but otherwise they keep to themselves. The dislike is clear on both sides and occurs well before the day Smaug arrived in Erebor, during the First Age in fact. So it will be difficult for this young pair to overcome millennia of bad feeling between their people, some of whom actually remember the events that set the dislike in stone. Legolas and Gimli are later understood to be among only a very, very, few who become close enough to be considered great friends. Much of fandom would probably cheerfully have them be a great deal more given Legolas snuck his dwarf into Valinor after Aragorn’s death.

To the shoe-horned in romance, and I do mean that in the literal sense. Evangeline Lily has been heard in interviews to say that she was wary about the fan reception of Tauriel from the start and that she signed on under the explicit understanding that there would be no romance or love triangle. And at the end of the initial shoot there was not. When they came back for studio shoots and reshoots, however, she was presented with a list of scenes that had been added and some that needed to be reshot to accommodate, you guessed it, a love triangle. She was signed in, she had taken the money, done the work and was boxed into a corner. The love triangle went in and it became the part of the films that polarises the fans the most. Besides, if we want to ship something, we do not need to have it spoon fed to us. Bagginshield is the most popular ship in the fandom and we only get the odd hint towards it here and there. Then look at the multitude of other ships. We did not need to be given something we can make up for ourselves.

That out of the way, let us look at their meeting:

The Company is beset by giant spiders, destined to be dinner, confused and disorientated and more than a little desperate, weakened due to lack of food and the weird miasma of Mirkwood which has been playing havoc with their minds. None of them are in good shape but, as they do, they fight on anyway. They need to survive and reach the mountain so that they can take back their home. Enter the elves, arrows whistling, blades crunching into thick spider exoskeletons, performing all manner of acrobatic leaps and twists to avoid getting bitten or killed. It is impressive, eye-catching even to the older dwarves, and would likely be even more so to a pair of young dwarves like Fíli and Kíli. We do not see Fíli’s reaction, he is too busy frantically looking for his missing brother who has been cornered by a spider. 

Enter Tauriel, who refuses to give him a knife to defend himself with and help her deal with the stragglers because she believes he may well be an enemy. She is, in fact, somewhat derogatory towards him. I would not say that Kíli is charmed, although he is certainly impressed, because were he charmed I do not believe he would have such a massively discontent expression on his face as she takes him back to the others. I suspect that, much like in Rivendell, he would have put more effort into turning on the charm. 

As the dwarves are led away, we get the first indication that Tauriel has noticed him; she comments that he is not entirely unattractive for a dwarf due to his lack of beard and the fact that he is tall for one of their kind. Legolas is unimpressed, but we expect that.

Once they reach the cells we see the dwarves desperately attempting to avoid being locked up. Most of them are attempting to force their way free, Fíli appears to be in the process of having yet more knives removed from his person while he huffs and sulks, and Kíli is watching as he is taken to a cell of his own. A solitary one at that. Fíli and Kíli, it could be argued, are a little bit co-dependant. Not horrendously, but they have been watching out for one another over all the rest from the start, they are brothers after all, and in the life of a dwarf five years is not all that much of an age gap. So we can assume that Kíli does not really want to be locked up on his own, he is a social person regardless it would seem and I suspect that being alone would be a special kind of torture for him. He tries stalling. 

“Aren’t you going to check me? I could have anything down my trousers.”

I’ll give Tauriel this, she is quick witted and this is possibly one of my favourite exchanges of the films. Her reply; “Or nothing” is cool, a little bit cutting and gives no indication of any sort of interest at all. If anything, she seems a little exasperated with all the fuss the lot of them are creating and she simply wants to be done with it. Away Kíli goes and off she goes to report to her king.

Who proceeds to compliment her on her good handling of things so far, order her to make it better faster, reject her proposal for exterminating the source rather than simply dealing with the fallout and then tell her that no matter what else she has done, she is not good enough for his son. Oof. She hesitates before replying, stumbles her way through a response and seems genuinely upset about it. Regardless of whether her feelings for Legolas are of friendship or if she had been hoping for a little more as well, being told something like that had to hurt.

We next see Tauriel patrolling the cells. Some of the dwarves are making noise, most seem pretty resigned, Kíli is fiddling with his promise stone. Which he promptly drops and loses through the bars, only for it to be stopped by Tauriel who demands to know what it is. As you do. Kíli, as you do, replies that it is a curse stone and any who is not a dwarf who looks upon it will suffer greatly. I forget the exact quote, I could look it up but I’m not feeling quite that dedicated to making my point here. Tauriel hesitates. I will not say that she is alarmed, she seems to take his words with a pinch of salt, but she is definitely wary and we have to remember that she is a very young elf who has spent all of her life in Mirkwood. She has not interacted with dwarves, has no reason to have done so and so she has no idea if what he is saying is true or not. And we have no idea how many of the old stories about elves and dwarves she has heard, although we know it is enough for her to have a generally low opinion of them. Her hesitation is enough to cause Kíli to come clean, perhaps fearing that she will take this precious memento of his mother from him. You can see the moment that Tauriel decides to return it, the flicker of surprise that a dwarf would mention a parent with such apparent fondness and it makes me wonder what stories she has been told about dwarves and their emotions. Regardless, she gives it back and the two begin a conversation which starts with Kíli’s opinion on starlight and moves on to become centred around Kíli’s travels. 

It is a good, safe, sensible conversation which would ring no alarm bells. In fact, the only thing that hints towards the idea that we should be looking for a romantic angle is the shot of Legolas looking down upon them with a disgusted sneer. 

This is where I began to feel uneasy with the direction the story was taking. Legolas is clearly jealous, Tauriel has clearly been hurt by the callous words of Thranduil and there was, perhaps, a little bit of flirting going on between the bars. This is Kíli after all. One thing we forget, however, is that she is his jailor. She is in a position of significant power over him. Let us flip the genders. The one behind bars is female, the one who holds the keys and is showing a marked interest in her is male. This is a familiar trope, and one which many of us shudder back from due to the power divide and the vulnerability of the female character, no matter how kind the male one seems. Why, then, do so many of us ignore the reverse scenario? Why is it alright for a woman, or elleth, in a position of power over a male, and especially a young one who might well be looking for a way out and a way to keep his friends and family safe, to pay such marked attention to a male captive?

The answer, of course, is that it is very much not alright, but we let it slide because it is not the reverse and society seems to have this thing for women in power seducing helpless males.

So, they have got their flirt on, spent an unspecified length of time languishing in the cells and now it is time to escape. The book would have us believe that they spent a month or so in the cells and rode their barrels out with relative ease. No gates, orcs, arrows or chases through the rapids. I can understand the movies needing something a little more dramatic. It would have been a dull escape otherwise, but we can already see the shift in Tauriel when the dwarves escape, even though she has known them at most a month, and the film makes it seem like they have only been in there a day or two which is what makes her actions later make even less sense than they would had she known Kíli a month. She hesitates. Her prisoners have escaped, her king is going to be very displeased, and still she hesitates.

I refuse to get into the thing with the morgul arrow, I find it very hard to believe that Sauron would have allowed the use of those and thus tipped others who were not Gandalf, Saruman, Galadriel and Elrond off to the fact that he was on the move. I am not even entirely sure they were a thing in book canon which is neither here nor there. It is believable that Kíli would have been hurt, that is a risk in every combat situation, and I will leave it at that.

The dwarves escape and head to Lake Town with Kíli in increasingly poor shape, Tauriel and Legolas take an orc to Thranduil for questioning which results in the elf king ordering the gates sealed. He wants nothing to do with whatever quarrel is between the orcs and dwarves. I hardly blame him. Legolas and Tauriel both object at different times and get shut down, and Legolas goes to obey his father’s orders, only to realise that Tauriel has already run off after this bloke she hardly knows.

I love Kíli, I do, but at this point he holds about as much of a permanent place in her life as the bloke I started to play Dungeons and Dragons with three months ago does in mine. And she probably knows him about as well as I do that guy.

She is idealistic, young, desperate to see the world. I get that. It is as good a reason as any to want to go out there and save it given that she is, to borrow from Guardians of the Galaxy, one of the idiots who lives in it. But saving the world, or that corner of it, was not what set her off in Thranduil’s throne room. Being told that Kíli was going to die slowly and painfully was. As much as the scene argues that she is going out there to save the world because she believes that they have a responsibility to do so, she has also already shown that Kíli is one of her primary reasons.

Four years ago, my then four year old, looked at this whole mess and said “But Elsa says you can’t marry a man you just met”. Where she got the idea Tauriel wanted to marry Kíli, I do not know, but that observation stuck with me. 

Anyway, because this is getting rambling, stuff happens, the dwarves have a feast, Kíli gets left in Lake Town with Fíli while the rest go on to Erebor and Tauriel fights her way into Bard’s in time to get some athelas to heal Kíli, although not without a little bit of dithering about before hand as she tries to work out what, if anything, she can do to help him. It is not the first time we see the calm, collected and confident character we were introduced to take a backseat before she pulls herself together but it is quite prominent. Kíli, while being healed, spouts off some romantic gibberish about him and Tauriel being worlds apart from one another and wondering if she could have loved him. 

It is very sweet. It is also delirious ramblings. I have said some things while feverish and sick that have had my Significant Other raising his eyebrows at me. It is not meant to be taken really seriously. For all we know, five minutes before he might have proposed marriage to Óin or been hallucinating a fight with Smaug. It is sweet and romantic, as we might believe Kíli to be, but can it be considered a true declaration?

Incidentally, this part is one of the changes that makes me really quite angry. Fíli and Kíli were always supposed to be at Thorin’s side when they entered Erebor. He leaves Kíli, and therefore Fíli, behind with barely a twitch, and callously does so after making him struggle his way to the dock and the waiting boat in front of the population of Lake Town who are waiting to see them off. It raises questions about whether the gold obsession that plagues the line of Durin had already started to set in, but I think it was a decision made to give a greater sense of peril to the scenes in Lake Town when Smaug is razing the place. 

Either way, I do not like it. 

The morning after the night before dawns, Kíli seems none the worse for wear after his near brush with death, though we know that Frodo was heavily weakened after his own such encounter in sixty/eighty years, depending on if you book or film timeline it. He is saying goodbye to Tauriel and effectively tells her he loves her by calling her “amrâlimê” which most of us here know means something to the effect of “my love”. Watch Fíli behind him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as though this is not the first time he has seen his brother act like this. Fíli is the Darcy to Kíli’s Bingley, except maybe this time it really is not love at all and Fíli is right to be wary and frustrated. It is also the time we see Kíli go from adoring puppy to murder hound in about 0.6 seconds with the arrival of Legolas. This time he is clearly infatuated, but I would still hesitate to say “in love” for a couple of reasons. The first is that they really hardly know each other, and while love at first sight is a wonderful idea it is not necessarily the strongest foundation for a relationship. Especially one with such incredibly strong Romeo and Juliet vibes. The second is that she has saved his life twice at this point. It is a known phenomenon that when someone does such a thing gratitude can be mistaken for powerful love.

In fact, Aidan and Evangeline have both reported to have said that had Kíli survived the pair of them would have very rapidly recognised that this is not love at all. It is gratitude and infatuation and not something which could withstand the judgement of both of their peoples.

Here, they separate, and neither mentions the other at all. Tauriel is cast out of Mirkwood, Legolas vows he will not return without her which is a whole other host of problems on its own, and they go forth to Gundabad to see what the orcs are up to. 

It is bad news, but then these things usually are.

Things go horribly wrong in Erebor, words and Arkenstones are exchanged, hobbits are nearly flung from very high places and battle commences while Dwalin attempts to knock some sense into a gold consumed Thorin. You can see why Kíli will not have had time to think about Tauriel at all.

With the battle joined, it is fight or die. Kíli is unaware that Tauriel is anywhere on the field, or that there is a trap waiting for him in that bloody tower and Tauriel… well she panics. Seeing that Thranduil is intending on withdrawing for the good of his people she stands before him and pulls a weapon on her king demanding that he stay and fight and help the dwarves. If not for the fact that Legolas comes and takes her toward Ravenhill I think Thranduil probably would have crossed a line into kinslaying right there and then. There is only so much disobedience and, frankly, treason one can endure from a subject before something more permanent needs to be done about them.

They get to the tower, Fíli is already dead and Kíli is desperately trying to hold his own against an ambush so that he can avenge his brother. And Tauriel, for some unfathomable reason, races through a tower full of orcs screaming his name. That… that is not how you do these things. At all. By doing that you draw the attention of every creature that is currently free to track you down and kill you. 

Moving on.

Watch them fight against Bolg together. They do not do it well. Kíli is fabulous next to Fíli, and probably Thorin and Dwalin and any other dwarf for that matter. He probably would not do too badly with one of the Men beside him but the elvish style of combat and the dwarf style are very different and it does not mesh well for these two who barely really know each other. Legolas and Gimli fight in many of the same battles, but rarely side by side and they are certainly more in tune with one another than these two are. In this case, Tauriel is definitely panicking and I wonder if she would have done the same if it had been Legolas she was fighting with. 

Somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, eventually they are overwhelmed, longing looks are exchanged and Kíli is killed. Tauriel breaks down to Thranduil who declares that it was clearly real love.

I just, there is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to start. 

A lot of time is dedicated to this addition. It drives a wedge between Thranduil and Legolas that we had no reason to suspect existed, it deprives him of one of his loyal guards and it does absolutely nothing at all to affect the outcome of the quest for Erebor in a positive way. It adds nothing to Kili’s death, it does not make it any more of a tragedy than it is in the book. In fact, if anything I think it takes away from it a little bit. For those not in the know, in the book Thorin is felled on the field, fatally wounded by Bolg who is then crushed to death by Beorn. Fíli and Kíli, who do not wish to see their uncle’s body taken and desecrated, and likely hoping that there was some small chance he could be saved, fight over him as guards until they are overwhelmed and die side by side before help can come. It is, ultimately, a terrible waste of their lives. Thorin lives long enough to apologise to Bilbo in one of the healing tents, much as he does on the side of the mountain in the film, and then he dies. 

So Tauriel has made no positive impact upon the outcome, it could be argued that her moment of hesitating to threaten Thranduil could have been the moments where she and Legolas might have reached the tower fast enough to save possibly Kíli, perhaps even Fíli, we will never know. What we do know is that the addition of the love triangle added extra time which could have been given to any of the rest of the Company, most of whom were given very little at all to do other than carry on in the background. We could have spent more time with Bilbo, who got shunted aside for the Legend of Legolas parts and, of course, the love triangle additions. We did not even get the funeral in the theatrical release!

It seemed to primarily be, well, filler. And the studio’s bizarre opinion that they were not going to get female viewers if they did not stick some form of romance in there. It seemed to almost be an attempt to mirror the Arwen, Aragorn, Eowyn triangle from the Lord of the Rings, except they missed the mark there spectacularly. Arwen knew very well what she was giving up in marrying Aragorn, and she ultimately made the same choice that her uncle had made thousands of years before as had her very nearly ultimate grandmother (bar Melian) before that. Tauriel could have had no concept at all of what she might have been tying herself to. And that does not even get into the political ramifications of it had Kíli survived, or if he and any one or both of Fíli and Thorin survived. 

This next is, of course, speculation, because we have no real way of knowing. 

Tauriel has sacrificed everything, her home and position for some dwarf she hardly knew. They think it is love, but in the coming weeks with Kíli dedicated to the mountain, whether alone as king or with his uncle and/or brother, distance begins to grow. Tauriel is an elf, she may have fought in the battle but she is still not completely trusted. Rumours from those who might have seen her interaction with Thranduil during the battle start to surface. Kíli might overlook them for himself, but could Thorin or Fíli? If they were to send Kíli to do something that Tauriel would not like, could they trust her not to do the same to them as she did to Thranduil? She owes them even less loyalty than she did him and she threw it all to one side in a heartbeat. If Kíli is the only one of the younger two who survived, where does that leave the succession? If he and Tauriel cannot have children together the throne is not secure, even if they could with all the millennia of bad blood between elf and dwarf will the general populace really accept a half elf on the throne? Especially one who might live forever. The answer there is very likely to be no, which will cause more problems further on and puts Dáin and later Thorin III Stonehelm on the throne again. So there was no point saving Kíli if the original timeline would come to pass anyway, if with a few more hurdles and a heap more unrest thrown in. In other words, it would cause a lot more contention than it would solve.

If they did grow apart, as the actors have stated they would, I think Tauriel would have come to resent Kíli for his role in her decisions, even though she was a grown elleth and perfectly capable of reasoning out possible consequences for herself. Evangeline says that Tauriel went back to Mirkwood after the battle and I suspect Thranduil forgave her out of pity and because he knew she had learnt a terrible lesson. I doubt, though, that she ever regained his trust, and I very much doubt she ever rose to any real position within the kingdom again. If Kíli had not died, I suspect her reception would have been less forgiving and more in the nature of “well if it isn’t the consequences of your actions” before being thrown from her home in disgrace.

Either ending is unhappy for her.

This whole diatribe actually makes it sound like I quite like the character, and there are some small parts of her that I do like. The film needed a strong female character, and this is perhaps one of the reasons that one of the more popular genderbends in the fandom is female Bilbo. Because either way, the story still works. And all the initial stuff with Tauriel worked. Her early interactions with Kíli, that snappy comeback which is actually a favourite because as a response to someone intending on unsettling her it is perfect, even that little bit of wanderlust that she lets seep out. Where it falls apart, and where my dislike stems, is the introduction of the love triangle, the huge power imbalance between them when it begins in the dungeons of Mirkwood, the fact that gratitude and love are allowed to blur over the line with no one questioning it. Except, perhaps, Fíli, who is the long suffering older sibling accustomed to his brother becoming infatuated with this or that pretty face or great warrior.

Had it been left at the wanderlust and the whole bit with the delirious confession been done away with, she could have still been great. Had she kept her head a bit better upon seeing Kíli fighting Bolg or even had a material effect on things for good I could possibly, possibly have overlooked how it all began. But that moment in the cells set my squick metre off and coloured my opinion of it from there. And even repeat watching has not helped me to see it in a positive light. It was filler, time wasting, and I find it hard to like a character who was introduced as someone that girls could look up to, and who became, instead, every cliché female love interest that I feared she would. They set her up, let her and us down, and as a result I prefer to pretend she never existed, or gloss over her entirely. 

And because people are always asking me what my problem with her is I’ve grown to despise her. 

Kíli is a grown dwarf, he is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and thinking for himself. Tauriel does not manipulate him into having feelings for her, she seems to be made uncomfortable by the confession in fact, but just as he is capable of thinking for himself, so is she. And I question every decision she made from the moment she locked him behind those bars, because that is where the Tauriel that Kíli met in the spider’s nest begins to vanish. 

She could have been a great character and she did not need a love interest, or to become one, for that to happen. The studio handled her poorly, and that is why I would prefer to ignore the fact that she, and that stupid love triangle, ever existed.

[idjitlili]

Legolas x reader

Summary: being close friends with legolas , and joining him on the fellowship. But damn he gets too touchy , not that you didn’t like it.

Warnings: teasing,sexual themes, fingering , dick touching.

A/n i dont know what this is really. @tmbm123 requested it.i tried.

Word count:1759

You had been friends with legolas for a long time, you weren’t an elf , you were a human. Your mother was a witch but she would never hurt someone innocent,she had cast a spell causing you AMD her to become immortal. You had met legolas in Mirkwood forest , when you were young ,it did lead him to take you to his father. You only went into Mirkwood because you had wandered away from you mother and could find her. As apparently Thranduil trusted no one , after his wife died, he thought everyone who entered Mirkwood were spy’s.

You wouldn’t be surprised if people were trying to assassinate him, all he did was mock dwarves , sass, and pretend to be a princess. Eventually they let you go, when your mother came looking for you, turns out your mother was friends with the king somehow. Thranduil didn’t know she had a daughter.

Anyways after that legolas would come to see you often after that, you both soon became buddies, legolas helped training you. As Mirkwood was poisoned and there was evil growing, you needed to be able to protect yourself. Your mouth watched in awe at you and legolas training, even Thranduil did when you would go there. He didn’t really like anyone else other than elves, so it was surprising, he was a little jealous, missing his wife.

You and legolas would go adventuring around , for centuries, until 13 dwarves came to Mirkwood and everything changed. Legolas didn’t tell you about it , or them reclaiming erebor and killing azog until after it happened. He told you he was leaving to go in search of a ranger named strider and he wished for you to accompany him. You had asked why he told you about his father being cold ,controlling, and he couldn’t live in his shadow anymore.

You had agreed , bringing him into your house while you packed, your mother wasn’t home. You knew she would forbid it , not wanting to lose you so you simply wrote her a letter, leaving it on the table. Once you had packed, legolas led you to his horse, he mounted on it,holding his hand out to help you get on behind. Which you took jumping on the back with an ‘oof’ .you wrapped you arms around legolas waist ,blushing, you had been crushing the elf for a long time. You rest your head against his back, moving his hair aside. Legolas ushered the horse to go quickly before your mother arrived home.

“I swear if I lose my virginity to this horse ,legolas. I will cut your hair.” You whined, you really didn’t want to lose your virginity while riding a horse, he gasped your comment.

“That’s very dirty y/n..” you pinched him in the side , at his sarcastic

comment,backing him Yelp in pain.

“I mean riding it-fuck off. You know what I meant.” He chuckled at you before focusing on the road again.

Once you had met strider , he assumed that you were with legolas you both assured him that you weren’t, he raised an eyebrow at this. You and legolas became close to strider who you later found out his real name was Aragorn. The heir to the throne of Gondor.

Now you sat on a horse, that Eomer had given you , with legolas sat behind you and Aragorn on another horse with gimil behind him. It was like when you had left with legolas but he was the one with his hands around your waist. You had already found Gandalf today, turns out he’s Gandalf the white now. Anyways you were on your way to Theoden ,something about him being possessed or evil.

After you found out you would have to run in search of Merry and pippin, you had quickly cut your long pants into shorts with your knife. Legolas had watched in wide eye, he had never seen your mid thighs bare. Gimil and Aragorn laughed at legolas , who you looked up at catching him starring.

“What i couldnt run fast.” That’s all you said before you all started running.

Yet still now legolas couldnt stopped staring at your leg, with his head rested on your shoulder.You were focused on getting to your destination,when you felt a hand rub against your right thigh. Legolas had removed his right arm from your waist , leaving the other clutching onto you, as he moved his hand to stroke your lower thigh. You tried to ignore him, but then his hand traveled up high, on to your inner thigh, his stroking becoming harder. You gasp,”legolas not now please.”

He smirked at your response,ghosting his hand high and higher before it got to your moose,briefly resting his hand there. You frustratedly reached you hand back to above his knee squeezing it hard, making him remove his hand quickly. “As much as I want that not here.” You muttered not sure if he even heard. When you reached Rohan you had befriended Eowyn.

Then on the eve of the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, you know the place with the tents. She had forced you into a dress after confronting you on your feelings for legolas. The dress complimented your figure , making your burst look bigger and waist smaller. Not that legolas didn’t think you were beautiful anyways.

Eomer, Eowyns brother took interest in your humour and clothing before the change but after his eyes almost popped out. You about to walk to search for legolas and the others , when Eomer has approached you. “Miss y/n ,you look very beautiful tonight.” He compliments you sincerely smiling at you, “thank you Eomer.your sister made me wear it.” You has smiled back at him.

“Awe. Don’t tell anyone but she did the same thing to me when we a little younger.” He whispered, you giggled “how old were you?”

“18, she was 13” you burst out into laughter soon after he did too, unknowingly to you legolas had been watching the whole thing.”why did you agree?” You questioned trying to breathe,

“She’s very convincing what can I say!”

“I bet you looked great, next time you drsss up please invite me to see.” You smirked, only before Eomer could reply legolas had stomped over to you dragging you away.

“I look forward to see you Eomer in that dress.” You shouted to him looking back, he smiled at you , waving. He knew of legolas’ crush aswell it was clear.

Legolas dragged you Into a tent,harshly “what was that for legolas?!” You shouted angrily at him. He said nothing just placed his hand on your cheek and the other on your waist, pulling you closer. He leans down to your ear, his breath on your neck, his hand running up your side. “ you do it on purpose.” He growled, his eyes moved down your body ,”why do you have to be so beautiful.” He now whispered, pulling you into a tight hug, your breasts pressed against his chest. “Don’t you mean why am I so beautiful.” You whispered flirting with him, he grasped your chin leaning in slowly.

“OI y/n are you in here?” Someone called going to open the tent you and legolas separated quickly. “Yeah, i am.” You replied , as merry stepped in. “What are you too doing?” He asked , suspiciously. “I just came to ask legolas if he had seen any potatoes. I am really hungry.” Legolas smirked at your response, and merrys eyes lit up, “I knew you would want some potatoes come on I made some already.” He jumped towards you in excitement, grabbing YOur hand pulling you along. You looked back at legolas smiling apologetically.

After that battle , you all were drinking in celebration, after Theoden made a speech. Merry and pippin were dancing , Legolas and Gimil were having a drinking contest, which lead to Gimil passing out drunk. You sat next legolas, Aragorn infront of you both. You were a little drunk as was legolas; it made him more confident.

He spoke to Aragorn ,complaining about something you don’t know what ,you were focused on swishing your beer around in your cup. You hand had made its way on his thigh all night, eventually it was on his area , stroking harshly causing his cock to harden ,That was until legolas hand was on your thigh, going under your dress, on your bare skin. You gulped trying to ignore it, sipping your beer, then his hand gripped tight then let go to venture up higher. He made his hand right infront of your sensitive area, before rubbing at sonic speed between your lips. Damn he wasn’t even your boyfriend you face now bright red. You sipped your drink coughing, when legolas slipped his fingers into your wet hole.

“Are you alright y/n?” Aragorn hand asked concerning , as legolas added another finger, legolas acted like he was worried about you. “Yeah I’m fine , I think I am going to go , it’s too hot in here.” You tried to act normally, “yeah I have to agree with you there.” He chuckled, legolas curled his fingers in you, you try to hold in your moan.

You pushed legolas hand away , secretly before standing up , getting out from the seat. “Goodnight.” You spoke still red. “Wait someone should go with you.” Aragorn suggested,”I’ll take her , if you don’t made me living you Aragorn?” Legolas smiled at Aragorn, as he nodded his head.

Legolas grabbed your arm leading you to your chambers, as soon as bayou got outside , you smacked legolas. “What were you thinking legolas.” You angrily whispered, walking fast. He shrugged,smirking. “Why in public on horse and now infront of aragorn. What the hell we aren’t together.” He grabbed your shoulders turning you to face him before smashing his lips into yours roughly, biting your lip causing you to open your mouth allowing his hungry tongue,His hands around you waist tightly.

As you pull away he whispers “I love you y/n. Too be fair you did touch me first.”

“Yes I did but the horse thing was-. I love you too princess.” You embraced Legolas tightly.

“Come on let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Too finish what you started.”

[relishredshoes]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”. 

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry?   Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos.   Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties.   And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains...   What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending.   What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic.   How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me.   What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building.   Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour.   How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it.   How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking.   Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer:  Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-)   And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

[ladyideal]

Garden of Love

Pairing: Aragorn x Queen!Reader

Word Count: 1623

Warnings: some curse words, but all fluff

Request/Summary: You also mentioned writing a drabble for Aragorn, don’t know if you’ve got ideas for that but maybe something along the lines of Aragorn comforting the reader’s insecurities about being Queen? I’m a sucker for realistic fiction and angst as you can probably tell lol. Perhaps the reader isn’t high-born like Aragorn or despises the idea of being in a very public position, as monarchs are expected to. by the anon

A/n: honestly, this took a longer than I hoped to finish. So all of yall go thank @asraime or this wouldn't have come out in time... or less of a disaster zone. First time writing Aragorn, think gonna need some work.

"Now come the days of the king. May they be blessed." Gandalf announced, delicately adoring Aragorn's head with the crown.

"This day does not belong to one man but to all. Let us together rebuild this world… that we may share in the days of peace," The newly crowned king of the reunited kingdoms spoke to the crowd in front of him.

You stood beside Eowyn, who stood beside Faramir, the now Captain of the White Tower, and cheered along with the people. As the king stood, you and the crowd bowed before him. In a few days, your union with him would be a solid four years, and even longer as friends. 

As a Ranger, you spent a good portion of the time with him, befriending Isildur's heir wherever he went. Before long, he had asked to court you. Being on the constant move in the North, there were lots to learn. 

He didn't care how low of a status you were, or how your father became the laughingstock of the kingdom. No, all he cared was you and your heart.

Time passed and soon, he was called to the Council of Elrond. Something evil was lurking in Mordor, an unmistakable force that would soon threaten the survival of the rest of the Middle Earth. Not wanting to tempt fate, he wed you the next day.

It was a hasty ceremony, no pomp or extravagance. Perfect for your liking, in your opinion. Your family and the handful of friends witnessed the brief happy time. There would be no time for honeymoon, as Lord Elrond sent a raven, asking him to return to Rivendell. Whatever would be agreed upon by the council and the half elf, meant that your husband would be taken away from you.

You were right.

On the eve Aragorn left to destroy the Ring with the rest of the Fellowship, you made him swear that he would come back safe and sound, and very much alive. Selfish, but you loved him deeply like no one else. He, in turn, made you swear that you would not follow him into the fires of Mordor, that it was too dangerous, that if something had happened to you, he would never forgive himself.

Thankfully, the Valars answered your prayers.

A pair of shoes appeared in front, and a pair of hands gently grasped your forearms, yanking you out of your thoughts.

"My love," Your husband spoke as you straightened up. "You have stayed by my side for as long as I can remember. Gondor has a King, but a king himself can not rule alone."

You held your breath as he paused, a faint smile on his face. 

"Gondor needs her Queen, to rule, to love, to take care of," Slowly he knelt onto one knee in front of you, adoration melting your apprehension. "And you are her."

All eyes turned to you, and in that brief silence, you knew that there was no backing out of this. You had married him, knowing full well that one day he would take his rightful place as King of Gondor. In front of everyone, you agreed to him with a shy nod.

"My lord," Javes strode forward, a silver bundle in his hands.

You watched as Aragorn turned to the man, and gently pulled on the ribbon that kept the package together. As the fabric fell to either side, a silver circlet glinted faintly in the sunlight. 

With a smile, Aragorn lifted it up from its resting place and turned back to you. Biting your lower lip, you knelt down in front of him, and bowed your head.

"My love, my wife, I have loved you since we first met as Rangers. I loved you as we scoured the land, fighting off the orcs and the darkness of Mordor. I loved you even more as you stayed behind in Gondor, while I traveled with the Fellowship across Middle Earth to fight against the forces of evil," Your husband announced. "I knew then that I wanted, needed you by my side for as long as I live. Y/N, so many years we have spent learning how to care of our people. Now we can finally put that to use, and rule together for the better of the kingdom."

Delicately, he lowered the circlet onto your head. You briefly shivered at the touch of the cold metal, but smiled in relief when the sun's warmth made it bearable. Grasping your hands in his, your husband brought you back up to your feet.

"King Aragorn and Queen Y/N!" 

Weeks went by, as you directed rebuilding of Gondor back to its former glory, spending countless hours pouring into making plans and keeping friendly ties with the other kingdoms that remained in Middle Earth.

As the new Queen of Gondor, you were busy. While Aragorn attended dozens of meetings, you were glad you were able to pull from past experience to help out your people. Taking stock of what was left, you dispatched farmers with grains, vegetables, and other raw goods from other kingdoms, promising them a quarter back of the revenue for their help. 

You brought in knowledgeable merchants, blacksmiths, and others from the corners of Middle Earth to bring their skill trades to the kingdom. There was nothing you wouldn't do for the benefit of your people.

Until the rumors reached your ears.

She is that daughter. Not fit to be queen. King Aragorn made a mistake. A whore, a slut. 

Behind your turned back, whispers of your lower status spread as fast as wildfire. Somehow, someone had dug out your past, a daughter of a bakery owner with the largest cheating scandal Gondor had ever seen. You escaped from that then to become a Ranger of the North, but the past was never meant to be shut away.

Seduced the King.

Groups of attendants gathered together in numbers of two, three, even four. The echoing halls left no room for error. Each hurried whisper bounced discordantly along the hallway, only stopping when you were within sight.

No noble blood.

Every pair of eyes sized you up, silently dressing you down for even existing. They had curtsied still out of respect, but you knew better. The eyes always gave away their thoughts.

Not good enough to be queen.

As you turned the corner, every judgemental stare lingered behind your back. And for the first time in your new home, there was no warmth emitting from the hearths. You tried to ignore it, you really did.

But as the whispers grew louder, and the words became bolder, you had enough. In an effort to avoid spilling your tears in public, you had abruptly left during one of your meetings with the treasury.

Instead of facing the problem, you promptly fled from the halls of your new home, away from all the whispers and the uncomfortable glances at your direction. You weren't fit to be of noble blood, much less to be queen. 

Blindly wiping tears away with the back of a hand, you hurried towards your garden. The plot of land was small, but you didn't care. Beautiful marigolds bloomed on the sidelines, vibrant blues and purple morning glories waved in the soft breeze, and snapdragons eagerly opened their petals. A small circle of lilies dotted in the center.

Slowing to a stop, you sat within the wooden swing, gently swirling your fingers through each and every flower that grew under your careful care. For a moment, you busied yourself into picking the surrounding weeds, and watering the rainbow assortments of flowers. 

It didn't take long before Aragorn came looking for you. 

"I notice, you know," A familiar voice spoke, stilling your hand. "What they say, how they act. Have you forgotten what I've said when we started courting?"

You frowned, staring at an unopened flower bud struggling to bloom. "I don't-."

"Let me remind you."

"I can't, Aragorn, I can't do this," You cried out instead, standing up abruptly. "I'm not of noble blood, I'm not fit to be queen. You've chosen the wrong person! I'm just a nobody, there are others that far deserve this power than I do. You hear what they say. I can't do this."

He took your hands in one of his. Gently, he tipped your chin upwards so that your eyes met. "The hardships in your past have made you, you. You can not control what you were born into, but you can shape your future into a better one."

"Aragorn, I can be your wife. I can be whatever you want me to be, but I can not be your queen. My father-."

"What your father has done, is his own undoing in his life. However, it does not define yours, Y/N," Your husband spoke, wiping a stray tear away with the pad of a thumb. "Let them talk, let them whisper all they want. Gondor does not have the time for the gossip when there are buildings to be repaired, family to be consoled, and the dead to be honored."

You broke the gaze, staring back down at your quaint garden, not knowing how to respond. 

"Aragorn, I-."

"No, Y/N. Your actions speak louder than words," He folded you into a hug, and gently squeezed you. "Let them gossip, but they'll see the truth for themselves. If you wish, I'll let them go."

"No, no. Let them stay. They need the money for their own families. I'll be okay, Aragorn," You pressed the side of your head against his chest, and peered up at him. "I just need some time to myself. Can you get off early tonight?"

"Of course, my dear, anything for you."

Reads Everything: @mournthewicked @asraime @aspiring-ginger

Taglist still open for those interested!

[rubykgrant]

If you love high-fantasy, or are just kinda getting into it, and are looking for something to watch while you have extra time, I’d suggest the animated Ranking-Bass trio of the Hobbit (1977) as well as the sequel the Return of the King (1980), the Last Unicorn (1982), and the Flight of Dragons (1982).

I feel like the most well known is the Last unicorn, and a decent number of people are aware of the the Hobbit (but not so much the Return of the King), while the Flight of Dragons is somewhat forgotten. These animated Rankin-Bass movies were actually my first introduction to the Hobbit and anything Tolkein related, and I saw them a long time before I could even read (family friends had the VHS tape, and I’d watch it whenever my parents took me there to visit, starting when I was about 2 years old). This caused something kinda funny when I was in elementary school; I was taking a reading comprehension test, and we were allowed to go as far as we could with the test packet, which took me to high school level books. Because I’d seen the Hobbit (and other shows like Wishbone or Jim Henson’s the Storyteller), I could answer questions about the story, and my teachers thought I must have cheated somehow.

About these movies; the Hobbit/Return of the King are obviously based on the books by JRR Tolkein. Rankin-Bass had already done many animated and sto-motion movies (pretty much all the Christmas classics are them), and they wanted to get into stories with more depth in different styles, so they started making high-fantasy movies. For the Hobbit, the art style was partially inspired by the art of Arthur Rackham, who did the concept art for them. The scenery and backgrounds very beautiful with many details in the tree roots and rocks, creating lush watercolor world. Animation for it was done by Topcraft, which later became Studio Ghibli (the same studio and crew also worked on Return of the King). Many of the poems Tolkeing wrote in the book were used and made into songs, sometimes the characters singing/speaking the lines, but there was also mood-music and singing done by Glenn  Yarbrough (including an original song just for the Hobbit). The voice cast for both movies included many talented people, but some that might be known for their other work; Hans Conreid plays Thorin (who was also Captain Hook in Disney’s Peter Pan), and Casey Kasem as Merry (who was the original Shaggy from Scooby-Doo). Both of these movies include very important scenes from the source material, and they really do them justice (Smaug’s boastful introduction, Thorin’s good-bye, Eowyn taking her stand, ect). Another animated movie, the Lord of the Rings (1978), combines The Fellowship/Two Towers, and was directed by Ralph Bakshi. It has completely different animation, and unique mood for itself, but is still rightfully impressive and worth watching as well (the live-action Lord of the Rings films were heavily influenced by Bakshi’s work)

The Last Unicorn is based on the book by Peter S Beagle, and he also worked on the screenplay for the film. Topcrfaft again worked on the animation, and while it is visually similar to the Hobbit in certain areas, it has an entirely different style and feeling, the backgrounds/scenery resembling classic tapestries. There is an especially lovely way hair and eyes are depicted in the Last Unicorn, something we can see in various anime shows/movies; the eyes are deep with shine-sparkles, and the hair flowls either elegantly or wildly. There is again a very amazing cast for this film, each person doing an amazing job. A few people that are known in other animated roles; Jeff Bridges plays Prince Lir (who has been in more recent animated movies like Surf’s Up as Zeke), and Angela Lansbury voicing Mommy Fortuna (who was Mrs Potts in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast). Like many books-turned-movies, certain things were cut for time, but what remains are still very important parts of the story. The movie also has a beautiful collection of original songs, performed by the group America. The over-all vibe of the the Last Unicorn is a combination of bright beauty, dark themes with sad undertones, and little bits of combedy scattered through it all

The Flight of Dragons is interesting, because it actually combines two different books into one animated movie; the Flight of Dragons by Pter Dickenson was where the author explored various myths and legends about dragons, and worked out how it related to real life. In some cases, what existing things people might have mistaken for dragons, but also if it was possible for dragons to have truly existed. Another book, the Dragon and the George by Gordon R Dickson (part of the Dragon Knight series), told the fictional story of a modern day man who works as an assistant to a history professor going on a strange journey to rescue his fiance. He winds up in another world where fantasy creatures are real, and dragons refer to all humans as “George”. While in this world, the man winds up inhabiting the body of a dragon, and a quest involving a knight/a magician/evil dragons/and much more. For the animated film, elements from both stories were used, creating a new one about “Peter Dickenson” being the modern day man who winds up in the body of dragon, which he is very excited about since he can learn more about his favorite subject this way. Yet again, the voice cast was incredible, and two that are known in other media; John Ritter as Peter Dickenson (who was also in Three’s Company and the Problem Child), and James Earl Jones as the evil wizard Ommadon (known for lending his voice to Mufasa in Disney’s the Lion King and Darth Vader from Star Wars). The film follows a similar plot to the Dragon and the George, but still includes the science the works out how dragons coult hypothetically existed, explaining the fire-breath and the flight. Themes in the movie also include science VS magic, how modern ideas often seem to harm forms of fantasy, the dangers of both forms when humans take no consideration with what they create, but ultimately it is using science as a force for good that saves the magical realm. Illustrations for the book Flight of Dragons were done by Wayne Anderson, who created very stylized drawings that was also heavily detailed, many of the dragons have pebbled scales/large eyes/and powerful claws. This art was used as the inspiration for animated dragons, bringing the illustrations to life

OK, enough from me; if you can track these down and feel like it, enjoy some fantasy films~

[gascon-en-exil]

Joining the Game Late: S8E3 “The Long Night”

Synopsis

The two dozen or so named characters get about that many tracking shots so we know where they are. Melisandre randomly shows up with +fire damage enchants, then sets up the end of the battle. The Dothraki are swallowed up by the budget-saving fog of war, then the zombies break out of the fog and it’s dragon breath vs. a blizzard. Arya sends Sansa down into the crypts. Edd’s dead, and everyone else retreats inside while the Unsullied provide cover like the good generic soldiers they are. Again with Melisandre’s fire magic, which the Night King has his forces put out with their corpses. Sansa is cynical about being holed up with the women and children again, and still doesn’t like Dany. Bran comforts Theon and spies on the Night King in a not at all helpful way. Sandor is triggered, but Beric snaps him out of it to go after Arya who’s trapped in a horror movie sequence. Sam is wearing his strongest plot armor and survives dying three times; Lyanna Mormont isn’t so lucky, but she kills a giant on her way out.  The dragons come down from the clouds, and Dany meets the one being she can’t burninate. Beric dies protecting Sandor and Arya, Theon dies protecting Bran, and Jorah dies saving Dany - it’s kind of a thing. As Jon looks on everyone realizes that hiding out in the crypts was a stupid idea as the Night King builds up a new army. Sansa and Tyrion have a moment that leads to nothing, Jon yells at a zombie dragon, while only Arya is doing something useful as she OHKOs the Night King and his whole army with him. A dozen or so prophecies fulfilled, Melisandre takes off her collar and collapses into dust, mercifully without nudity.

Commentary

Let’s talk about Arya, because when it comes down to it this is really her episode.

Solely in the context of her own story this is a fantastic conclusion to Arya’s arc. Revenge motivations notwithstanding, ever since Season 1 (which Melisandre calls back to here) death has been positioned as Arya’s greatest antagonist, and as suddenly as it comes everything in her journey and in her actions in this episode specifically build to the moment where she stabs the Night King using the Valyrian steel dagger she received from Bran - a sort of twisted family heirloom that ties this action back to the political conflict upon which most of GoT’s non-zombie-related storylines hinge. She gets to break out the specialized spear Gendry made for her to whack zombies using the skills she honed with the Waif before being overpowered and forced into a monster movie segment where she has to stealth her way around a wight-infested library and get rescued by curmudgeonly father figure Sandor. Beric uses his last life to save her because prophecy, another of Melisandre’s prophecies tell her what she has to do, and then the episode forgets about her right until the last pivotal moment where she uses the technique from her sparring practice with Brienne to surprise the Night King and one-shot him. There’s likely a bit of Eowyn’s killing of the Witch King from The Lord of the Rings in here too, with a young woman who’s chafed against the restrictions of femininity all her life taking to the battlefield and unexpectedly defeating one of the greatest forces of evil in her world. It’s perfectly staged and backed by one of those excellent piano scores that GoT only breaks out in its biggest moments and, in short, epic. Punctuated by the melancholy of Melisandre’s end it ends a really tense and brutal episode on about the best note it could have possibly managed.

Now, I say that because in order to make this battle the culmination of Arya’s story the writers had to throw just about every other A-lister under the bus, with disappointing and at times hilariously bad results. I say A-lister so as not to discount the deaths of Theon and Jorah, which were telegraphed, satisfactory ends to their respective journeys. No, it’s the main cast who suffer the most. Daenerys grounds the Night King and learns that he’s immune to dragon fire, but after that she lets zombies swarm Drogon in the process of saving Jon and has to be rescued in turn by Jorah. Sansa and Tyrion look like they’re going to go out and stab zombies in the crypt together, but then nothing comes of it. Jaime might as well have not even been there for as little as he does this episode, which does track with his not being the fighter he used to be - but he’s still alive! Sam almost dies three times but survives purely because authors (and the showrunners adapting their work?) are kind to their self-inserts. Bran does nothing more with his incredible supernatural powers than provide a cutaway to the Night King’s whereabouts and absolve Theon of his crushing guilt so he can run off to die. And Jon, poor Jon...I’m not going to pretend that I ever cared much about the guy, but could the writers really think of nothing better for him to do at the end than have a screaming match with a zombie dragon? For all the setup of a personal antagonism between him and the Night King Jon was shockingly useless in this fight.

I get it, I really do. This was the inevitable consequence of developing a dozen or so fairly disconnected storylines across the show’s run and then trying to compress them all together into a single finale. Some characters still have their big swan songs to come in the back half of the season, true, and honestly I’m much more interested in seeing those both because they concern conflicts more relevant to my interests than ice zombies and because I hear that they contain the greatest concentration of inexcusable crap in the series. For the time being however I consider this episode’s extreme focus on Arya to be both its greatest strength and its greatest weakness. Yeah, weaker than the bad lighting which was more of an aesthetic choice (literal fog of war!) and was also a problem in the series’s earlier nighttime battle episodes; weaker than Daenerys’s non-white followers making up most of the first casualties, because the show made that white savior bed back in the Slaver’s Bay arc and now has to lie in it; weaker even than the decision to hole up the people who can’t fight in the crypts, because of these characters only Jon (and Tormund and Edd? I forget) has seen how the Night King’s reanimation powers work firsthand and it’s not like they had a better option anyway. Those are all issues I can excuse, or that at least were problems much earlier in the show’s run that couldn’t well be fixed at this late stage. It’s the characterization issue that bites the most, particularly knowing as I do that some of those shafted this episode will get solid resolutions in the last three.

(This is the last big battle episode, right? I can’t stand writing about these, totally out of my element. All that meticulous choreography and CGI work and I’m just glad I can mostly make out what’s going on.)  

[thegreatdivorce]

There and back again...

This post is about a lot of things, but it’s mainly about my love for Faramir and Eowyn… and about how the book is always better than the movie. But we have to go back a lil before we can start. 

I read Lord of the Rings for the first time when I was 14 years old. It took me a long time to get through it. I think a whole year, maybe more. I had trouble for a few reasons: one, it’s a big story for a young reader, and two, my motivation was probably in the wrong place. I grew up on a healthy diet of C. S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, my dad read the Chronicles of Narnia series to me as a kid and I read The Hobbit (on my dad’s special collectors edition) not long after that, but I never made it to Lord of the Rings until the films came out. And I only really read the books then because I loved the films so much. Let me repeat that with more emphasis, I loved. these films. so. much. I could recite lines from the movies, yes, but I could also recite lines from the commentary the cast created for each extended edition. I can still recall the jokes, pranks, and memories the cast hold dear almost as if I had lived through them myself as the 10th member of the fellowship. I still call David Wenham ‘Daisy Wenham,’ and if the word ‘wig’ appears in conversation my brain immediately goes to, “your hair changes dramatically from short to long… do you wear wigs?” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are not a true fan of the film series. It meant so much to me when I was younger that I think I started the books as a way to stay in that world a lil longer. And I guess constantly comparing the books to a beloved film series is not the best way to read because I didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would. To be clear, I didn’t dislike the books, Return of the Kings marks one of the few books to make me cry (Theoden’s death got to me), but the books didn’t impact me in the same way the films did. 

Fast forward some 13 years later and something, I’m not exactly sure what, convinced me to read the books again. I have a long book list, one that I am sorely behind on, so choosing a 1000+ page saga (one that I’ve already read before) while other books are waiting to be cracked open for the first time was probably not the most productive decision I’ve made, but I regret nothing. I still own the same copy of LOTR I owned when I first read the series and man, there’s something about the smell of a book that can bring you right back to where you were when you first opened it because that’s exactly what happened when I started re-reading it. There is something nice about feeling like you’re 14 again… feeling like your whole life is ahead of you, but the only thing you have to worry about is reading this one book. 

Although the smell of the book felt the same, other things felt different. Aragorn does not struggle at all with the idea of his kingship like Viggo does in the film, Sam feels a bit more of a simpleton in the books, and Frodo seems older and wiser than the 19-year-old Elijah Wood feels in the movies. All of these things are small differences and as I was reading book one and book two, I found I still liked the movies for what they are and tried to be (although that scene where Frodo tells Sam to leave just before Shelob’s lair, that he doesn’t need him anymore, will never make sense to me), but for the most part I liked both film and book fairly evenly. But entering into book three, I realized how certain characters got the short end of the movie stick. Particularly Eowyn and Faramir. I’ll be frank, I don’t know how you would have written more of them into the story without bogging down the pacing of the rest of the movie, but that’s kind of my point, Eowyn’s story is so good she needs her own dang movie so everyone can discuss how amazing and complex she is. And Faramir too, but we’ll get to him in a moment. 

Eowyn in the movie is played wonderfully by Miranda Otto. Seriously, the casting of this series is pretty near perfect. Her part is relatively small, but they touch on all the main points of her character. She’s a fierce warrior, but she feels stuck in a cage staying at home having to care for her people and the man she considers a father all by herself, she falls for Aragorn, he doesn’t return her love, she wants to ride to war, she does so secretly, she kills the Witch-King, she receives the honor and valor she has always wanted, she marries Faramir, bada bing, bada boom, done. It’s a nice lil package, but it’s the highlight reel because there is so much more to Eowyn than that...

So to know Eowyn, we have to know the people of Rohan. Faramir does a nice job summing them up when he refers to them while talking to Sam and Frodo in The Window on the West, “If the Rohirrim are grown in some ways more like to us (the people of Gondor), enhanced in arts and gentleness, we too have become more like to them. For as the Rohirrim do, we now love war and valor as things good in themselves, both as a sport and an end. We esteem a warrior, nonetheless, above other crafts.” Faramir continues to talk of war “as is the need of their day,” a necessary evil, but you can tell... he’s really not into it. This is shown in a few different ways throughout the books (his relationship in contrast with his brother/father as one example), but the place it really hits home happens earlier in the same chapter when he states this zinger, “War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” (Side note, Faramir is the best and I know everybody loves fawning over King Viggo Aragorn, but y'all are sleeping on the best man in the whole series! Faramir is where it is at. He’s far more complex than Aragorn and I will fangirl over him more later on, but we’re still on Eowyn, so I’ll continue.) So the people of Rohan are a proud, fierce, war-loving crowd. They actually sing songs as they are killing people in battle. Think “whistle while you work,” but fiercer and more insane. But Faramir is not dissing them; he is not implying they are war-hungry, or war-mongers, simply the Rohirrim believe proving themselves in battle is a right they deserve. 

Enter Eowyn. In contrast to Faramir, who seems to have a sober understanding of war and battle, Eowyn finds her worth in it. We can see this most obviously in her attraction to Aragorn. In the movie, their attraction seems to develop in a natural, innocent way. I vaguely remember Miranda Otto mentioning in some interview for the DVD special features that part of the reason why it’s so tragic that Aragorn turns Eowyn down is that he knows they would make a good match. Essentially if Aragorn hadn’t met Arwen first, Aragorn and Eowyn could be together. Honestly, with how the movie presented their relationship, yah, I get it. Except that’s not how it is in the books. Aragorn, in The Houses of Healing, looks to Eomer and says, “I say to you that she loves you more truly than me; for you she loves and knows; but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan.” Eowyn desires the great deeds of war, not like Faramir does: as a means to protect a people, but as a way to prove herself. Faramir seems to find an honor in all crafts and positions, but Eowyn, although protective of them, talks lowly of her own people, consistently stating she is not a “dry-nurse” or a “serving-woman” but higher above them as a member of the House of Eorl. Eowyn speaks of a hierarchy within Rohan, consistently placing herself above the other women who are care-takers or mothers. What makes this even more tragic is that it’s not entirely her fault that she has come to this thinking. Gandalf, again in The House of Healing, explains to Eomer, “Think you that Wormtongue had poison only for Theoden’s ears? ‘What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among dogs?’ Have you not heard these words before? My lord, if your sister’s love for you, and her will still bent her duty, had not restrained her lips, you might have heard even such things as these escape them. But who knows what she spoke in the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in on her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?” It’s tragic. And what’s worse is Eomer’s shock in thinking about his sister in this light. He never really knew her. No one did. Eowyn has always been fighting alone. Which is what makes her conclusion so satisfying... 

Eowyn rides into the Battle of Pelennor and kills the Witch-king (with the help of Merry). As I mentioned before, this is covered very well in the film, there is the great “I am no man” line which is taken from the book and although Eowyn is injured it seems she finally got her chance to defend herself in battle, like the other able-bodied men, so we’re meant to rejoice at her triumph, which I did when I saw the film. Except, again, that’s not the point in the book. Obviously, it’s great that the Witch-king is dead, but that event is the rising action leading into Eowyn’s healing, not her resolution… because Eowyn still wants to die in battle. She survived the Witch-king, she is being forced to heal her wounds in the House of Healing, but all she wants to do is die. Die as King Theoden has just done in battle (crushed by the body of his own horse) because this is the only way she can achieve the honor she feels she deserves. Because, again, Aragorn won’t give her that honor. And Faramir challenges this notion directly to Eowyn when they meet each other in the House of Healing, “You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wanted to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things of that crawled on the earth. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle.” And it is only here, with Faramir, the first person to really see Eowyn and challenge her openly, does she acknowledge the truth, and her darkness (her desire for death) passes. It’s so beautiful. Eowyn exclaims, “Behold, the shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.” And if you find a sadness or a disappointment in Eowyn’s proclamation of a life of peace than you are not paying attention to what Tolkien is putting down.  

This is important because I’ve heard this complaint before… Tolkien is not saying that it is wrong for Eowyn to participate in battle, to be a shieldmaiden, because she is a woman, (there are multiple instances in the book where Eowyn is described as a worthy warrior alongside her male companions. Hamma, may he rests in peace, nominates Eowyn as the person to manage the. whole. kingdom in place of the king when Theoden and Eomer leave for Helms Deep. So there’s that.) Tolkien is saying it is wrong to glorify battle, death, and destruction. full stop. No matter who you are. It is a point that is continually being made time and time again throughout the whole series by almost every character. And it should be no surprise coming from a man who fought in the first world war and then lived through the second. “I will not take joy only in the songs of slaying,” is really what Tolkien is trying to drive home here. Eowyn is still a warrior. Right after she accepts Faramir’s proposal and Aragorn is crowned king, Eowyn is like, “Faramir, I love you. I’m gonna marry you. But I have some important business to take care of back in Rohan with my brother, so I’m gonna leave… I’ll be back in like a month probably. Bye.” Yes, girl! That is the moment we should be applauding. Not the moment where Eowyn kills the Witch-king, but the moment where Eowyn realizes herself as a warrior but also a healer and there being a time and honor in both of those crafts if they have a proper foundation. It’s the moment when Eowyn finally sees and knows herself. And you know what Faramir says in response to Eowyn’s leaving? Nothing. He lets her go to do her thing because he is the best and I love him.

On to Faramir!

Ok. So. I’ll be brief here. Or I’ll try to be. One, because I think I’ve already shown a fair amount of Faramir’s great qualities, but also because I think his character in the film shows a stronger resemblance to the book than Eowyn’s. If we can all ignore that scene where Faramir drags Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath (because that never happens *eye roll*), and focus on the dialogue dealing with his dad, we’re getting pretty faithful Faramir content as pretty much all of the Faramir - Denethor dialogue is taken directly from the book, and it’s all golden. And when I say golden, I mean deadly. The, “‘Since you were robbed of Boromir, I will do what I can in his stead. If I should return, think better of me, Father.’ - ‘That will depend on the manner of your return.’” exchange between Faramir and Denethor is brutal. To say that Faramir has daddy issues is an understatement. But that brings us up to an important point. Faramir is just as broken as Eowyn is and their meeting is not so much so Faramir can save Eowyn but for them to find healing in each other. 

Faramir’s dad is insane. Literally. By the end of the book, Denethor loses his mind and tries to kill both him and his son by burning them alive. Faramir is not fully aware his dad is trying to kill him because by the time Denethor is building a funeral pyre, Faramir is slipping in and out of consciousness due to his battle wounds (to clarify, Denethor thinks his son is already dead, which is why he wants to share the funeral pyre with him. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s the facts). So the last thing Faramir hears, in full conscience, is that his dad wishes that he had died in his brother’s place and the only way he can prove his worth is sustaining victory in battle. Which he knows he cannot do. So Faramir goes to battle, is injured, and ultimately wants to die. Sound familiar? But he doesn’t. Aragorn calls him back to health in the House of Healing and he meets Eowyn. 

Faramir likes Eowyn from the moment they meet but can see she is struggling and doesn’t know the exact cause of her pain. So he talks to the best wingman in Middle Earth, Merry, and puts all the details together that Eowyn is still pretty hung up on Aragorn, and for all the wrong reasons. Faramir decides to gently pursue Eowyn which, if you think about it, is quite the courageous thing to do considering Faramir’s past. Faramir’s whole life consists of being left behind, the man that is not chosen. As we established above, his own father chose and loved his brother, Boromir, over him. Boromir was chosen to join the Fellowship of the Ring, not Faramir. It’s even in his job description to be picked over. Faramir is a Steward of Gondor, he’s to hold court until the proper king appears and then literally step out of the way. Here is another area where potentially someone is going to choose someone else in place of him. Faramir questions Eowyn about her love for Aragorn asking, “[I’m assuming] you cannot choose between us. Eowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?” Ugh, tragic. She admits, “I wished to be loved by another, but I desire no man’s pity.” Faramir clarifies, “I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and you yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear, or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Eowyn, do you not love me?” 

It’s actually nerve-wracking when you leave out Eowyn’s response to this question; to know Faramir is asking someone he loves dearly for love in return, something he was rarely afforded in his life, especially in the beautiful way in which he asked it. He sees Eowyn for who she truly is, someone even she doesn’t fully recognize yet, and who she can be: a valiant queen. And not just any queen, Faramir says the Queen of Gondor, Aragorn’s wife. Faramir basically admits, “I know there’s a chance you could still be with Aragorn, but even if you did, I would still love you regardless.” It’s so courageous and beautiful, and in a lot of ways, the ultimate test to see if Faramir has really healed over the wounds his father has left. The wounds of being left unchosen. But Eowyn does choose, she chooses to be with him, and they ultimately provide healing and understanding to each other. 

And that’s all left unsaid in the films. None of it is really in there which is such a bummer because it’s so good. And this whole story has been waiting for me to re-discover it on my shelf for the past 13 years and I’ve finally made my way back. Can’t believe I almost missed it.

Anyhow, thank you for coming to my TED Talk on why Faramir and Eowyn are the best and why reading books is cool. 

I probably could write more, but I’ve taken a brief break in reading the dang book to write this essay and I still have a few more chapters to go to finish the whole thing. 

Good day.

[queerbookscoolmugs]

Frodo Baggins Saved my Life

I remember seeing Lord of the Rings the Saturday after it opened in the theater. It was me and my dad, sitting in the dead center row. It was the 22nd, dangerously close to christmas for my dad to be splurging to take us to the movies, but I had turned 12 the previous weekend, and I’d been looking forward to this for months. My walls were plastered with posters of Orlando Bloom, with his bow and his flowing blonde hair. I had an evenstar necklace my best friend had bought me hanging around my neck. I remember the exact moment I heard Cate Blanchett’s voice, echoing in a dark theater, squeezing my dad’s hand as it took my breath away...

But let me back up.

I have a long standing love affair with fantasy. My father used to read me fairytales from this storybook with a puffy blue cover and gold gilt pages when I was still recovering from my heart surgery, little more than a toddler. The book was perfectly square and too heavy for me to hold on my own. Ever story had been illustrated by a different artist. 

When i got older, it was my parents taking turns reading me Bunnnicula and James and the Giant Peach. But as much as I loved to be read to, I didn’t like to read. I didn’t struggle to read, quite the opposite. I was good at it, which was nice because I wasn’t good at much else as a kid. I was terrible at math, I sucked at sports, I couldn’t ride a bike until I was nearly eleven, i spent my time with girls who were horrible to me because making new, better friends was difficult and scary. But because reading came easy to me, I got bored quickly, and I was picky. I loved fantasy and fairy tales but I wouldn't touch anything the least little bit scary. I wouldn’t read a book if I didn’t like the cover or how the pages felt of how it smelled( and yet it didn’t occur to me until I was an adult that I might be on the spectrum?!?) I tore through Bailey school kids, the Magic Attic Club, American Girl, the royal diaries, dear america. My parents couldn’t keep me in books I would actually read, and if I wasn’t reading I was talking, which was exhausting for everyone. 

Then in fourth grade, my teacher read us a series that, up to that point, none of us had ever heard of. Harry Potter. I at them up. I wasn’t content to read along with the class, patience wasn’t my strong suit. I was gifted the newly released Prisoner of Azkaban from my grandmother  before my class even started reading it and I can still remember plunking it down on my dad’s desk with a grin, exactly a week after I gotten it and proclaimed “I’m finished.” There is a sort of sadistic pride you get as a kid when you realize the look of surprise and almost fear you see on your parents face when they realize your have outsmarted them. Because my father saw the writing on the wall. Once fourth grade me realized I could read a 400 page book in a week, I suddenly had no time for “kid books”. My parents struggle to find me books that were large enough(ie if i didn’t have enough pages I decided it was for babies and wouldn’t read it. I was a pretentious child. I own that.) that still had appropriate language and subject matter for a nine year old girl who still slept with the lights on. 

Gandalf found me again the summer before my six grade year, news came out about Warner Bros new, big budget Lord of the Rings films. Like every other girl at puberty age, I latched onto a long haired Orlando Bloom with the passion that can only be mustered by a sexually confused 11 year old girl can. My dad came home from work with the whole lord of the rings set for me one day( the movie covers of course) and I remember practically launching myself into my bed to start reading them. 

To be honest, the books were above my head at eleven. I only understood about a third of the story but to my surprise, the character that stood out to me the most, was Frodo. Now if you had asked me at 11 who my favorite was, I’d have said Legolas. If you’d have asked me at 16, I would have said Aragorn. If you’d have asked me at 20, i would have Eowyn. But now, as I creep up on 30, I can say that my favorite character, the one I identify with the most, is and has always been Frodo. 

I identified with Frodo in a way I didn’t with Harry and Ron and Hermione, with Tom Sawyer or Jim Hawkins or Pollyanna. As a kid, I was scared of everything. When i was really little, I had a heart problem, and I was treated like glass by everyone around me. But after my heart surgery, after I not only survived but thrived far better than anyone had expected, everyone expected me to just jump into life head long while at the same time being told that I couldn’t preform to the same level as other kids. It’s a confusing juxtapostion to put a child in. I was scared of my own shadow, of the dark, of water, of riding a bike, of climbing to the top of the monkey bars, but I at the same time I was told not to run, kept out of games like kickball and tag. I was chubby and teased about how much i ate but not allowed to participate in many of the activities that would help me keep my weight down.  My sister tormented me for it, my mom admonished me for it, the girls at school used it as a weapon against me. I felt helpless in my own life, from a young age and it was a feeling that would only get worse as I got older.

I didn’t know it at 11, but Frodo Baggins would save my life.

Frodo was a comfort to me because there was nothing special or extraordinary about him. Frodo was a bystander, who loved listening to his uncle’s stories about dragons and trolls, but he was content to be where he was. Adventure found him but not in the fun, swashbuckling sort of adventure i’d read in treasure island or swiss family robinson. Frodo’s adventure was, at times, hard, tragic, and frightening. But in the end it was worth it. The pain and the suffering and the terror were worth it. Frodo was hurt, changed, wounded by what happened. He came back missing parts of himself but everything he did was worth it. And most of all, it was Frodo’s choice. No one ever expected Frodo to do anything but go home to the shire after the council of Elrond. But instead, Frodo volunteered to take the ring. He raised his voice over a shouting match of people far older and wiser and more powerful than himself because he knew that none of them would listen to the other, and if they couldn’t cooperate, then the world was already lost. Frodo showed me the kind of bravery I most needed time and time again, when I was struggling with my body image, my sexuality, my faith, with my family, with an abusive relationship, with stress, with anxiety, with depression, with poverty,  with grief, with suicide. I found the courage to stand up and carry the weight I was never meant to carry, because if Frodo could do it, then so could I. 

I found the courage to stand up to people who hurt me, because Frodo stood up to the council. I gave me the courage to pack up and leave home, to see the world because something in my soul was dying where I was. I found the courage to rely on my friends, to ask for forgiveness and to forgive myself at times, because depression, like the ring, crawls into your brain and it changes you. Like the ring, it makes you doubt, it make you fear, it makes you mistrust and at times, at your worst, it make you mean. Frodo gave me the courage to stop hiding the parts of me that were broken and missing. Because ever hard thing I went through, as horrible as it was, I survived. Often times, not for myself, but i wasn’t particularly interested in surviving, but so someone who needed to see you could survive might look at me and know it’s possible. That the darkness doesn’t last forever. 

The last time I read Lord of the Rings was shortly after the last presidential election. I was, frankly, heartsick. I’m a queer woman, dating a queer woman. We both have preexisting conditions, with both have degrees in fields where being fired for being openly gay isn’t unusual. I felt the darkness closing in again.

“I wish the ring had never come to me.” Frodo tells Gandalf, in Moria. Even now, when i read the book for what feels like the hundredth time, I can’t help but imagine Frodo’s voice as anything other that Elijah Wood’s. How small, and powerless and frightened he sounded in that moment. How hopeless. 

“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”

 Even if you feel small, you can carry a potential that is far greater than you imagine. You’re not alone. There is still good in the world, if we’re willing to fight for it. The darkness doesn’t last. Even if you’re broken, shattered, that doesn’t mean you always will be. And even the smallest of creatures, can change the course of history. 

[your-heavenly-messenger]

Introduction

~At the hospital, Mahiru and his friends believe they have Tsubaki corner, but step into an illusion*

Sozui: Thank you for opening the window its getting stuffy in here.

Ewoyn: You okay *worried*

Sozui: I'm fine its just that....

Mahiru: *burst through the hospital door* There you are. We caught you.

Eowyn: *alert and in guard in front of Sozui bed* *manifest a red and black Dual Tonfa-Styled Blades*

Mahiru: You must be one of Tsubaki subordinates.

Sozui: *in a sweet but suffering voice* Now, Now lets not get hasty. You don't want my Servamp to...

Misono: Mahiru, watch out.

Lily: *step into action*

Eowyn: I don't know who you people are but...*dramatic but evil smile* I'm going to enjoy your suffering.

Lily: *attack using his scythe*

Eowyn: Wind Dance Shadow *about to attack lily*

~Eowyn and Lily are fighting~

Sozui: *coughing up blood* Eowyn....

Eowyn: *hears her name**stops what she is doing and disappears in the shadows to her eve*

Eowyn: Are you okay?

Sozui: I'm fine *coughing*

Mahiru: *thinking to himself* Somethimg wrong.

Kuro: That girl over there is sick. Why would my brother hire her if she's sick.

Mahiru: You're right. *walks towards Eowyn and Sozui*

Eowyn: *in defence stance* Don't come any close.

Mahiru: Its all right. I don't won't to harm the both of you. My name is Mahiru.... Mahiru Shirota and yours is?

Suzui: Hirai Sozui and this is Asriel Eowyn my Servamp.

Eowyn: *stand down and bow* Hello.

Mahiru: Well, its nice to meet the both you.

Suzui: Are you going to introduce us to your friends?

Misono: I'm Misono Alicein and this is my Servamp Lily.

Lily: Nice to meet you.

Misono: Sorry about attack you. I thought you was a threat, but know I see you not.

Tetsu: I'm Tetsu Sendagaya and this is my Servamp Old Child.

Old Child: You almost gave me a heart attack.

Eowyn: Awww, how cute are you. Just look at you *picks up Old Child while being dramatic* Whose a cute little Servamp. You are yes you are.

Old Child: Little Girl Put Me Down. I Want Hesitate To Bite You!!!

Licht: *Burst through the open window late* It is I, Licht Jekylland Todoroki, but you can call me "An Angel".

Lawless: *being dramatic* Look at that a holy beacon of light. Nothing can get away from my violent little angel!!!

Licht: *kick Lawless out of the way* Shut Up Rotten Hedgehog!!!

Sozui: I got every names expect for him *point at Kuro*

Kuro: *yarns while on the floor* I'm hungry and I want to go to bed.

Mahiru: Oh, that's my Servamp Sleepy Ash, but you can called him Kuro...

Mikuni: *pushing Mahiru out the way* What's going on here?Is it a room party with out me?

Sozui:* sweet and kind voice* Hello, there And what's your name.

Mikuni: Well, hello little miss I'm Mikuni Alicein and this is JeJe. Nice to meet you.

Sozui: Nice to meet you to as well.

Mahiru: Sorry for coming up in here like that.

Sozui: No, its okay. I love visitors including handsome boys like yourselves. *smile*

Misono: *whispers in Mahiru ear* We better get going.

Mahiru: Oh, yeah. We all need to go. Nice to meet you Miss Sozui and Miss Eowyn.

Sozui: *shaking her head yes* I agree.

*Everyone start leaving out the hospital room*

Sozui: Hay, Licht, I'm mean angel.

Licht: *turn around* What you want?

Sozui: *close to him*

Licht: *didn't see Sozui move from her bed, but now closer to him*

Sozui: *eyes grow red* You be careful out there. Don't won't you to get hurt now do we.

Licht: How did you?

Sozui: *kisses him*

Licht: *Can't move*

Sozui: See you in another time. My violent little angel. *evil laugh*

Licht: *out of the illusion cast upon him*

Lawless: *walking back in* Are you coming?

Licht: Yea.... Yeah, I'm coming rotten hedgehog. I'm coming.

~Meanwhile~

Tsubaki: So, did you get enough information from them.

Sozui: *bowing* No. The only information I got were their names.

Tsubaki: To bad. I thought you might get their weaknesses or something.

Eowyn: I did get their weakness. Just by looking at them all. *evil dramatic smile*

Tsubaki: Excellent. We're going to hit them what it matter most..... Their weakness *evil laugh then coughing*

Sozui: *still bowing about to cry* Please help me.....Licht.

The End

[melhekhelmurkun]

I’m watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (I’ve genuinely got no fucking clue what is going on in this movie anymore) and as per usual I keep looking at the characters and thinking “oh you know what LOTR person would fit there” or “hey that guy is definitely a hobbit” but now I’m really just thinking about the Fellowship (+ Faramir, Eowyn, Eomer, maybe some of the Rangers, whoever else I see fit to add) as feral children living in some forest during the Ring War.

They’ve accidentally come across the Ring and I declare that it has absolutely no effect on them for whatever reason (whether because they’re children or because they don’t exactly… want… world dominance… nor do they want anything that can be turned towards evil). Aragorn, being the eldest, is obv in charge, with Boromir and Halbarad coming right up for seconds in command. The Hobbits are youngest I’d imagine, with everyone else interspersed, and they do all remember their names but they never use em. Just increasingly ridiculous nicknames that I am gonna have SO much fun making up.

Eventually some adult comes across them (maybe another Fellowship made up of different people, probably still including Legolas because he’s an Elf and already like 800+ years old so that doesn’t exactly translate to Baby Years) and they are taken toooo…. Edoras. Definitely Edoras. And all the leaders of the various important places gather there because the Ring was found to be in the possession of a group of feral gremlins, and said feral gremlins get to terrify them with their horrendous manners and confusing vocabulary (seeing as they’ve made up words for things themselves and essentially crafted their own language)

[bibliophileiz]

The Three Fandoms Asks

I keep seeing this around tumblr, and it looks fun. 

3 fandoms (I chose three important ones from my childhood)

1. Harry Potter - The Original Fandom. I mean, not the original original obviously, but probably the original for my generation. It was a huge part of my childhood and the story itself formed a lot of my opinions about how to tell good stories. I also have fond memories associated with this series -- Harry Potter was the first reason I ever had for Googling anything. “Harry Potter Book 5 news” and “Harry Potter Book 6 rumors” became frequent searches of mine. (The rumors took me to a lot of chat rooms where I read up on the wildest theories. It was a blast.) And then there were the midnight visits to Barnes and Noble and, in one memorable case, Walmart the nights of the book releases. Harry Potter was my childhood.

2. Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit - Like Harry Potter, these books (and movies) taught me a lot about storytelling. Tolkien’s works have become more complex to me as I’ve gotten older, and I’ve found there are plots and characters I like more now than I did as a kid (as opposed to Harry Potter, which my opinions about have mostly stayed the same). I also love Tolkien’s writing and world building. I’m one of the few people I know who enjoys reading all the poetry, and I read “The Council of Elrond” chapter three or four times before I got tired of it on Fellowship rereads. Lord of the Rings is a fantastic example of a really good book being adapted into really good movies. Both the book and the movies are each their own thing while also complementing each other. Just -- Lord of the Rings, man. I love it.

3. Charmed - Not as good, quality-wise, as the other two I’ll admit, but damn do I love this show. Before Charmed, I kind of watched whatever my family or friends watched -- my brother was a TV hog, and while I liked his cartoons ok, I didn’t like them nearly as much as I did Charmed when I discovered it. I got my dad watching it and it kind of became our thing. The Charmed Ones were kind of role models in a way. I can remember thinking, This is what being in my 20s will be like. Not the magic, but dating and clothes and deciding whether to go corporate or pursue your dream job or go back to school. People accuse the Charmed Ones of being boy crazy, but what I remember most about them is their work ethic. I thought, Prue prioritizes work, and I want to be like Prue. I love this show.

First character I loved:

1. Professor McGonagall is, has been and will always be my favorite character in anything ever. I also remember being small and redheaded and really liking Ginny Weasley before many other people did.  

2. Arwen was the first, but that was only because she appears in the movies before Eowyn.

3. Prue. Although I like all four sisters.

The character I never expected to love so much:

1. Sirius Black is obviously introduced as this terrifying villain, so when I started reading Prisoner of Azkaban, I didn’t expect him to become one of my favorites. To be honest, my fan girl love of him has waned since I was a teenager, but I still appreciate him.

2. Sam Gamgee. Another of my favorite characters in all of literature, though I had to mature a bit before I felt that way. But Sam is so small and overlooked, yet he’s so loyal, brave, determined, sassy and just all around good. He’s a gardener, which is a profession Tolkien holds in high esteem. Also in the books he doesn’t have that awkward break-up with Frodo that he does in the movie, plus he’s less whiny. (To be clear, I’m criticizing the movie’s writing, not Sean Astin’s performance. He did great especially considering the material he had to work with, and he feels the same way about the character I do. Also, his book about making the movies, There and Back Again, is the first nonfiction book I ever read for fun.)

3. Cole Turner. I came into the show in Season 4 right as his baby was turning Phoebe evil, so I was like, “Ah, ruler of Hell, not good.” My dad and I had to start the show over and watch Season 3 to realize he’s one of Charmed’s most complex characters.

The character I relate to the most: 

1. Probably Ginny, especially as a kid. We’re physically similar, but there’s also the temper and the fact that people always end up being surprised she’s as tough as she is. She and I also had to both grow out of self-esteem issues, though hers were more severe since they came from Chamber of Secrets-related trauma.

2. Pippin. He’s not sure if he’s actually qualified to be on that adventure, but hell if he’s being left behind. Also he’s small, like Ginny and me.

3. Prue. Sort of opposite of the Ginny stuff, she’s got the older sister syndrome of being responsible, in charge, bossy and often feeling like the only person who can get a job done right.(I don’t like having help with dishes or laundry, nor do I like assigning other reporters crime stories at work, as a couple of examples.) I am pretty protective of my younger brother and my mom always quoted It’s a Wonderful Life with the “you were born older” line when talking about me. Also like Prue, I tend to over-focus on work and not enough on my social life.

The character I’d slap: 

1. Percy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fabulously complex and underrated character, but I would still slap him silly.

2. Denethor. I used language I’d never used before in the theater when he sent Faramir off to fight in Return of the King and I started laughing a few minutes later when Gandalf knocked him out with his staff.

3. Ugh. Leo. (Also Sam.)

Three favorite characters in order of preference: 

1. McGonagall, Harry, Ginny. (That last one was insanely difficult as I also considered Snape, Lupin, Regulus and Luna.)

2. Sam, Eowyn then Aragorn (movies) and Bilbo (books).

3. Prue, Piper, Phoebe (Sorry Paige.)

Character I liked at first but don’t anymore: 

1. I mean, I’m not going to say I don’t like Hermione, because I definitely do, but the movies wore me out by over-glamming her to the detriment of Ron Ginny other characters.

2. I like all the characters except Denethor, who I never liked. Ditto Grima Wormtongue.

3. Believe it or not, I liked Leo when I was a kid. (*shakes head at how naive 13-year-old Iz was*)

Character I did not like at first but do now: 

1. Narcissa and Snape. This is not to say their views or the pro-Death Eater actions are ok, but they were both smart, they surprised me (always a plus) and they helped defeat Voldemort.

2. Didn’t like Boromir or Faramir at first, but now I love them.

3. Paige. 

Three OTPs:

1. Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Lily/James

2. Arwen/Aragorn (in a doomed, tragic way. Seriously, read the Appendices.) Eowyn/Faramir and Linsdey Ellis got me liking Eowyn/Merry

3. Piper/Mark Chau (I will never be over it!), Paige/Henry, Phoebe/pretty much anyone, including but not limited to: Cole, baby Misha Collins (Eric Bragg) and Aviva from Season 1 (#Phoebeisbisexual).*

* I really just think that everyone Phoebe interacted with before Season 3 should have come back as a love interest after she and Cole divorced. Aviva would have been old enough for that by then, and we could have gotten great sub plots of Eric Bragg’s little conspiracy theory brain trying to figure out which secret organization the sisters work for before Phoebe tells him they’re witches. (Then he and Henry could meet for beers after work and talk about how goddamn weird their lives are.) Any of that would have been better than the post-Cole love interests Phoebe got. (One of them was named Leslie?? And he took her job?? Fuck Brad Kern, honestly.) 

I’m going to break the rules by not tagging people, but whoever wants to play should go for it.