#if I touch on that I'll go off on another tangent and I think this is enough for now

[daesungindistress]

Hi, me again, a long-time fan, especially of the Carnivores series. I saw you took down Carnivores. I understand why, but I would like to share my thoughts. Please hear me out.

Unlike some of the other stories you took down, Carnivores is all about Daesung. To me, it is about Daesung’s temperament, resilience, and all the little things cute and lovable about him. It is about how he copes with the world around him. It is not about that person at all. How can that very minor, irrelevant part of story, or person, take away something so beautiful. This, sadly, kind of already happened in the real world. I just hope it won’t repeat again here, or ever.

You and many of us probably gave that person too much credit. Do you find him remotely interesting enough to be really worth your time and struggle? Is that person worth you throwing away all the hard work and talent you put into Carnivores? Carnivores seems special to you, like it is to me, and he is not worth it. The world is a complex jungle, we can never overcome all the evil, but at least we can celebrate the light that we found.

Something more practical. In most chapters, except for Bright Like the Sun, that person didn’t really play much of a role. As far as I remember, he didn’t even show up in New Heights, Laying Claim, First of Many. These chapters also feel like they can stand alone. It is a tricky for my favorite chapter Dreams Like Ashes Float, but it is so beautiful that I just want to chop out that person's part. Or perhaps change the name? Just some ideas, not even suggestions. I am just sad that Carnivores is now gone for something so irrelevant and forgettable.

Anyway, if taking down Carnivores brings you peace of mind, please know that I respect and support your decision. I remember you were very happy and tremendously creative when you first came to this fandom. I hope you can get back to that good place, even if BigBang or even Daesung is not there. Just know that your work has inspired and is deeply appreciated by some fans.

Hi, wow, thank you 🥹

I quietly took down the Carnivores series in about October of last year, around the time I realized TOP's moon scene in Still Life was set in the future, not the past, and the music video was BIGBANG's way of telling us they were going to be apart awhile longer as they go their separate ways and pursue solo projects. I decided I should do the same -- focus on projects -- and turned my attention once again to Carnivores.

First of all, I took the series down for reasons only partly related to the former member. You're right; for the most part, his role in the story is relatively insignificant, with a few exceptions, the biggest being Bright Like the Sun, which, uh, is filled with a whole slew of problematic messaging given the state of BIGBANG today -- most notably the Seungri rescue scene toward the end (after a landslide, stuck in the mud under a crumbling bluff) and Daesung's insistence on not leaving him behind. Carnivores goes hard on the theme of family, of a "found" family -- in this case, a found family of five. Because a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away...) that was my absolute favorite thing in this fandom. As it is now, I'm deeply uncomfortable with promoting that subject matter using the names and likenesses of the BIGBANG members, even in my past work.

I'm sorry you're sad about Carnivores being gone. I thought a few people might be when/if they found out, and I still feel a twinge of guilt over snatching it away from the few people who liked it. But my reasons for taking it private aren't all bad or sad. Not to me, anyway. I'm not ready to share in too much detail because it's still in the extreme early stages, but the plain truth is I took Carnivores down because I have plans for the series. Non-fanfiction plans. I want to turn it into original fiction with the goal of publishing it.

But before that... I need to rewrite the whole thing. Overhaul it all. No one will be removed from the story; everyone's names will be changed. Well, they already have been. After some brain retraining (lol) and a brief adjustment period, I don't even think of the guys in terms of their BIGBANG names anymore; I now think, talk, and write about them using their new names. Someone once said to me (once upon a time) that as much as the characters reflect their inspirations (the members), they have lives of their own. Though it's taken some time, in the years since I concluded the series in 2018 (and in a way, the hiatus helped with this) I feel I've finally managed to unlink them from their inspirations. While preserving their personalities, of course, and holding tightly to everything I came to love about them while developing and telling their story all those years ago. They're still familiar and dear to me, and I still want them to be known... just in a new and improved way. And to a wider audience.

On the one hand, I'm really excited about it. On the other, I'm a little overwhelmed. I spent a few weeks in the fall reading through the series slowly and critically, returning to it in a way I hadn't since its initial run in 2016-2018, and I thought, "Well, it's a start." I didn't hate it, but it was so much worse than I remembered haha. Yet, at the same time, it was neat to see my growth as an author from beginning to end, and by the time I reached Innocence and Instinct, there really wasn't much I felt required major revisions. All in all, what I used to view as a finished product I now see as a first draft. To take what I have, 300 thousand words in 8 parts, and reshape it to fit my new vision will be no small task!

You're correct in sensing that Carnivores is special to me. It always has been and I'm sure always will be. Unlike those other stories I took down, removing it from my list of fics is like gutting my body of work. Yes, the events of 2019 did dampen my fond feelings for it. But I've since found a way to love it again, and to even breathe new life into it. It's set to undergo so much change (expansion and enrichment) I didn't want it "out there" anymore in its original form, where anyone can access it and see what it used to be. And I needed to disconnect it from BIGBANG, preferably long before it reaches the publishing stage. If I can be successful with this, I think it will all be worth it.

[maroonswan]

Imagine pampering pro hero!Izuku Midoriya after he rushes in the door late for date night, covered in a thick layer of the day's sweat and grime. A fresh bouquet of flowers clutched gingerly in his scarred hands as he apologizes for being such a mess.

He immediately lauches into a tangent of an explanation, rambling about how he had wanted to get back home as soon as possible but had still wanted to get you something special. That he had neglected washing up at the agency in order to run by the flower shop before it closed, and that despite the late hour he still fully indended to take you out tonight (after grabbing a quick shower).

"There're still a few bars open." He continues. "We could grab your favorite cocktails. We could dance. And, maybe after that we could get some fast food or I can cook you dinner! I'm sorry, [Y/N]. I know it's not exactly what you were hoping for, but I promise I'll make it up to-"

You cut off him before he could finish, pulling him in to a tight hug; your face burried deep in his soiled chest, muffling your laughter as he freezes in his tracks.

Midoriya can't help it. With you, his worries seem small. He takes a deep breath relishing your sweet clean scent as a smile comes to his lips.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm just glad your home, Izu." You sigh. "Besides, I had other plans on how I want to spend the night."

"You do?" He asks, genuinely curious, feeling your self-satisfied hum rolling through his chest. Such a coy non-answer. He knows you're up to something but decides to play along. He's kind of tired of asking questions anyway.

"Whatever you want, lovley" your boyfreind agrees whole heartedly, kissing your forehead and making you giggle with excitement. You always appreciated Midoriya's trust and intend to show him so tonight.

Without another word, you gently take Izuku's hand in yours and lead him to your shared bedroom.

Thinking about giving Midoriya a handjob after a hot bath and a full body massage. The epsom salts having worked wonders on his sore muscles; the remaining knots having melted away under your touch. Yet, he knew he was done for the second you drop your rode to reveal you were wearing nothing underneath. His cock immediately swelling with blood as you crawled your way on top of him, straddling him, your ass pressing into the corded muscles of his thighs.

Izuku is still covered in oil, glistening in the golden glow of the candle light. His stares at you mesmerized as you watch him with an equal sence of wonder, near hypnotized by the nervous rise and fall of his shining abdomen and chest.

He's so wonderfully gorgeous, like an angel or a demi-god.

How could you not serve his every need?

Izuku breath catches you gently grasp your hand around him. It's warm and so soft, so smooth. He can't bring himself to protest as your start stroke him just way he likes it, your grip light but sqeezing tighter the closer you get to the tip; fingers running lusciously across the vein on the underside; the tugging of his lubed cock making such lude fapping noises.

Izuku squeezes his eyes shut as he moans openly, slutilly. He feels like he's melting in your hands even as all the muscles in his body tightened up again; your other hand massaging his balls as you continued to pump.

He knows he isn't going to last long. Not when it feels this good, when you've been so thoughtful, when everytime he reopens his eyes he's greeted again by your perfect body and jiggling tits.

You're spoiling him, and he's helpless to stop you.

"Fuck," he slurs. Better words having formed on the edge of his lips but never having fully come through.

He cums so quick in your hands, and it's alot. Warm and shooting out of him in seemingly endless ropes with each replenishing pump.

Izuku's not at all ashamed. If anything, he feels relaxed. His muscles are completely slack, and if it wasn't for his many scars he would have had a hard time beleiving he ever was hurt before.

He turns to you as you curl up beside him. His gaze soft and full of love.

"Thank you, baby."

[jade-of-mourning]

sooooo I’ve recently stopped being dead to the world

I had to backtrack and reread down to your answer to my last ask (which,,, thoughts,, when you manage to beat them into submission pls pls pls pls share everything) because I haven’t touched tumblr in a hot second but then I saw your post about lok s1 (and specifically s1 korra) and,,,

okay so this is me and my dumb hyperfixation talking but how do you think the rest of tlok would’ve gone if makorra wasn’t ruined. like just in general, what do you think would’ve changed?? if anything??

keeping this short but like. brain worms are munching. cuz the way their characters developed and how they each influenced each other. how would that have ended like. romantically. like what if korra burned bright and bright and bright and offered her soul and her strength and every one of her fingernails in love and mako bit his lip hard enough to offer blood in a kiss. what if they were a little bit insane by the end of everything.

sorry that doesn’t make any sense!

love

🐌

hey snailon!!! i've missed you <3 i've been hella busy myself (cough i have four ap tests in a row next week) but it's always lovely to see you around haha

hmm there are definitely a fair share of really well written meta regarding a not-slanderized makorra, but i don't really have any specific links on me rn. i'll just give you my sparknotes version of what i'd imagine, which might end up combined with stuff i've read from other people that i don't remember reading

i'd probably postpone them more than the series did — which, granted, they did write it with one season in mind, so i'll give them that. (i would argue that it's still a valid explanation for certain writing choices, because even though the books were commissioned before the release of their predecessors, it's not like the writers get to just rewrite the ending spontaneously bc episodes aren't constructed chronologically lol) okay ignoring that tangent

i'm okay with the love triangle in season 1 as it is because even though it's insane, it also checks out on all parts for korra, asami, and mako in terms of backstory and personality at this point in the story. korra is socially unaware because she never interacted with people her age or really Society, asami is desperately lonely and values good intent above all else, and mako is also impressively socially stunted and has the pressure of financial concerns as well. (if it were up to me, i would either just commit to korrasami or makorra from the start and add in the third if going in the throuple direction. i'm going off on a tangent again)

i have conflicting feelings about endgame. on one hand, makorra is so full circle by concluding the way they do here — mako's first encounter with korra he treats her like he doesn't give a shit that she's the avatar, the first person to ever do so; yet, by the end when korra's absolutely devastated and believes her only value was as the avatar, mako tells her straight up that he doesn't care if she's the avatar or not, as he has all along. it's genuinely so cute and i could honestly write so many more words about it than i did. but at the same time, i just would like to think that after the shitshow love triangle, they would put off getting together, perhaps as an overcompensation upon recognizing how they hurt asami.

since the latter route is the au i've decided to follow, so be it. in endgame, korra and mako still have their full circle moment and spinny-hug, but instead of kissing in front of naga they just longingly pine into one another's eyes. excessively so the viewers know. okay cut

season 2 they are rekindling their friendships with asami and asami is tired of watching them dance around their feelings for one another and also maybe pining just a little bit for korra but huh what. i would actually have to rewrite the entirety of lok to shift s2 into a readable mess. korra is still amazing as always and saves the world as always. oh also throw in some korrasami with the family betrayal theme. yeah i don't want to think too hard about this

see the struggle is that i love krew!friendship in season 3 so much but at the same time i feel like end of season 2 is the perfect time for a makorra get-together instead of a makorra breakup, seeing that korra has literally changed the entire world all by herself because she is so amazing. so alas, we'll go with end of season 2. mako no longer lives under his desk to hide from korrasami and in the two weeks between s2 and s3 they are done with their honeymoon phase so they'll just be as they are through s3 tbh. honestly there was so much makorra shipteasing throughout canon s3 that i don't really think there'd need to be too much rewriting. they're still the level-head/kick-the-door-down-subtlety duo within the krew dynamics and they're still clearly very important to each other specifically. the makorra hug before korra goes up to face zaheer might be drawn out even more and maybe something sweet couples say idk. (i have so much rizz i know wht i'm saying)

korra gets even more trauma for a lifetime (again), and three years pass. korra writes to asami once as in canon because by the time she feels human enough to pick up a pen, she doesn't even know how to talk to mako, let alone try to address the guilt of ignoring the guy who devoted himself to her so thoroughly. asami understands what it is to lose. mako (& bolin) has lost more than anyone else once perhaps but i think that the trauma repression means that that was never processed and he would be terrible to talk to about any of this. he's been there, but he doesn't understand it, if that makes sense.

okay so korra comes back, makorrasami dinner (ig the shitling that canon wu is is there also), makorrasami train fight, then we have remembrances and beyond the wilds — y'know, the korrasami/makorra episodes respectively. korra is now experiencing feelings for both of them Oh Fuck. by default i would say that masami has been hooking up through these three years but since makorra was a thing through s3 then i retract that; however, their friendship has rekindled very deeply as the only two members of the krew left in the city. and mako & korra have not discussed what they were or what they want to be at all, just been adamantly dancing around the subject.

blah blah kuvira blah blah city blows up then the wedding then bam!!!! mako's love confession to korra is actually a love confession to korra (wdym "i'll follow you into battle no matter how crazy things get; i've got your back and i always will" ISN'T a confession of love). korra is joined by both mako and asami after tenzin leaves, asami grieves, and the three of them have a moment together that has very heavy implications for throuple-ism. then bolin pulls up very devastated that he has missed the final krew party. cue the laughter, cue korra's final delivery of "i'll always try to restore balance" bc it should've been here instead as the three of them stare at the changed city before them, and cut.

(yes krew should've had the final scene together. i've said it before that i don't think korrasami was particularly well written, but i still like them and the ending is still very sweet. however, i hate that they completely disregarded the rest of the cast for the final episode instead of giving them a scene together, even if not the very last one, bc of how that translated over into the entire fandom… i mean what. and the spirit world vacation is a sweet sentiment but also i feel that korra would never immediately go leave on a vacation immediately after everything that just happened and her declarations of duty. i don't think i articulated that very well. but yes.)

[gladstones-corner]

The Personal Genius: A Deconstruction

Today we'll talk about a critical subject for many Western magicians: the Personal Genius, Holy Guardian Angel, Daimon, or Higher Self (bear with me). 

For sake of generality and consistency, I'll be going with Personal Genius (PG). 

This post will not be a guide to achieving contact with your PG (also known as K&C of the HGA), and more of a guide to what the PG really is. 

Let's start with the common ground. The Personal Genius (PG) is an entity whose primary function is to guide the individual through the mundane and magical triumphs and trials of life. Through consistent contact with the Personal Genius, the individual can self-actualize. This comes with higher knowledge and wisdom. 

This is where the common ground diverges. Magicians debate with others and within themselves about the nature of the PG and what it means for their spiritual practice. Even Crowley's thoughts and beliefs changed over time. 

So, what are the schools of thought regarding the PG? There are infinite shades of nuance, but like most arguments they usually boil down to one of two viewpoints: 

The PG is a non-local (external) entity, or 

The PG is a local (internal) entity. 

In the first case, the PG is rarely seen as a deity in and of themselves. Rather, they are often assigned at birth by a higher deity and follow the individual throughout their lifetime. 

In the second case, the PG is often thought of as some higher aspect of the Self, normally hidden from conscious experience. This perspective makes the PG firmly and entirely local. 

But again, like most arguments it's not that simple. Let me break off into a brief tangent to illustrate a third argument. 

I am panentheistic. I believe that the Monad is both the sum total of everything that is and isn't, while retaining a distinct identity separate from that sum. It's a heady concept, but it's an important premise. 

Many traditions teach that there are components to the experience we call "being". In other words, everything we are is the sum of both the concrete and abstract parts of our selves. Just as the body is made up of organs, so too is our soul a composite (See the Norse parts of the soul for an example). 

Some of these parts of us are closer in nature to the Monad than others. Generally speaking, the more concrete, the further it is from the Monad. Again, a heady concept—after all, wouldn't an implication of relative distance imply that the Monad is more abstract than concrete? I could continue, but that's another post. 

One—or several—of these abstract components form(s) the Link between the Self and the Monad. It is distinct enough from both that it may appear and act as a separate entity, but is actually a bridge between the two. 

On the surface, this looks like a cop-out. "Oh, it's both," I say, but why? 

Remember that the Monad is not just the universe; it is also a discrete being. The Monad is both the observer and the subject. Think of yourself as one of the Monad's subjects and the Monad's distinct identity as the observer. The PG is a blend of both: it connects and harmonizes what would normally be completely separate beings in everyday experience. 

What's the significance of the PG, then? As touched on before, the PG's primary purpose is to guide the individual through their life. In Thelema and some sects of Chaos Magick, this entails the revelation of the individual's True Will. This goes beyond a life's purpose and affects the very core of the individual. 

How does it do this? By leveraging the link to the Monad's omniscience. The PG can speak to you in dreams, through divination, via synchronicities, the list is endless. Legend has it that some people have actually heard or seen their PG as though they were wholly concrete.

How do magicians gain access to their PG? That's a highly individual question; generally speaking it entails a lot of meditation, dream work, ritual, and prayer. But it's worth it. The first time you glimpse the wisdom locked behind the threshold between you and your PG, you don't really forget it. That sense of oneness, of peace and love, it's incomparable.

And it's possible to experience no matter which school of thought you take.

[thestupidhelmet]

2, 49, 83, 92

Thank you, Emma! 😊

2. Talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said, “Fuck your plan. Here’s what we’re actually doing."

In Hyde's Long Way Home, Jackie punches Hyde in the face while he's driving them in the Camino. He swerves, crashes, and they both die. I had no idea Jackie would punch Hyde until I typed the words on the page. Or that their resulting deaths would be the end of that particular September 8th.

49. Do you want to be published some day?

No, my friend. I'm afraid I want to be published many days with many novels. 😜

83. Less is more or more is more?

Depends. Often, less is more. Writers who aren't confident in their writing tend not to trust the reader and over-explain. Or their story / chapter / scene truly starts in the second or third paragraph (so the first two can be cut). More examples exist, but less is more for this point.

But some writers don't describe setting enough, so the characters are essentially floating heads in empty space who talk to one another.

[✨Thus ends the less is more form of the answer. Now begins the more is more part of the answer -- or more is less, depending on one's perspective.✨]

When writing fanfic, I don't rein in my imagination nearly as much as I do writing non-fanfic. So I'll write a story with six main points of view and accompanying character and plot arcs. Subplots proliferate and need to be integral to and integrated into the main plot. And the pacing better be on point. No filler (but that's true for any length of story I write).

Fortunately, I have plenty of experience (and education in) writing short fiction. So I can write a tightly plotted and short fanfic. But since it is fanfic, when I want to do deep dives into the characters and their relationships -- and have an extensive plot -- I end up writing Those Who Play with Demons. The chapter count is off the charts. I'm a tad scared to find out the total. 👀

(That's what I get for breaking my own promise after finishing Beneath a Shattered Sky never to write a story with six [or more] main points of view. TWPWD has eight main points of view, and I can't count the number of minor points of view. 🙈 A lot of people canonically live in Point Place.)

92. First, second, or third person?

For writing fanfic, third-person limited point of view (with rare exception).

For reading T7S fanfic, third-person point of view. Certain characters wouldn't tell their own story, like Hyde, so I can't suspend my disbelief. Other characters would go on so many tangents if they were telling their own story, like Jackie, that the actual story would be buried in asides.

In general, I find the first-person present point of view inorganic and crafted (i.e. artificial). I had to learn (many years ago) how to read it in traditionally published novels without getting tossed out of the fictional dream. I can also write in it, although it's not my preference.

When I'm picking up a box of tissues, I don't think to myself, I pick up a box of tissues. I just pick up the tissue box. For a character to state these kinds of actions in the first-person present -- it's not a true representation of how people think. Hence, the artificiality.

In third-person limited, a writer can get so close to the character in narrative that it essentially becomes first-person but can also pan out to give a wider view while remaining firmly in the character's perspective, subjectivity, and emotions. Without pretending that this is how a person actually thinks about everything they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or feel.

Fanfic Ask Game

[something-tofightfor]

Hey bestie! I love how you write for Pedro’s characters! Love how they really stick to their personalities!

What do you think are his characters (Joel, Javi P, Javi G and Frankie) reaction to a partner with physical touch as love language? Like when reader just touch their arms / hold their hands / give them hugs / run fingers through their hair / cuddles etc?

Hey, anon! Sorry this took so long to get to - I was figuring out the best way to answer it.

Under the cut because it got long, but this is a really good question - so thank you for asking.

I have opinions on all of the characters, but I'll stick to just the ones you mentioned for the sake of simplicity and so that I'm not just going on a tangent.

Joel Miller: I think that Joel would want the physical touch, but it would take some time for him to be comfortable with it. With the exception of Tess (and Tommy) the amount of times that he was touched with gentle intentions in the time post outbreak was probably extremely limited.

And even for someone that was extremely PT focused, they'd need to be patient with him and not push him before he was ready, because part of getting close to Joel is earning his trust, and he wouldn't trust anyone that doesn't respect his boundaries. He'd probably forgive someone that touched him, or went to touch - or hug - him early on because they aren't aware of the boundaries - but if they repeatedly did it, I don't think he'd be happy.

But once he's comfortable with someone, I think one of Joel's love languages is also physical touch. (I wrote this for JTGTBG Joel and Reader, but I think the Joel portion applies overall)

Javier P: Javi's another one that would take some time to warm up to someone that wanted to freely give affection. He's so used to keeping this - the "human" part - of himself concealed at work (at least on a physical level), that I think it carries over to his home life, too. Constantly touching and exploring makes me think of a close, personal relationship - which seems to be something he tries to avoid with the women that we've seen him with.

By season 2/3, he's a little more hands on when they aren't actively in bed - and that shows growth and his desire to be close - but I think it would take some time for him to be completely comfortable with it. Javi would need to initiate it until the relationship's a little more established, IMO, because I think otherwise it could scare him off, even unintentionally - because he doesn't want to admit that he craves that sort of connection even though he knows that while in Colombia, it's not a good idea to get that comfortable.

In bed, though, it's a different story, even from the beginning, and I think that a lot of touching would be encouraged, but there'd be a clear 'end' to when this was permissible by him, just to keep himself (and his emotions) safe.

Javi G: Javi G is a very hands-on person, and I think he'd be excited by someone that was the same. I think he speaks with his hands a lot, and he would be the one to touch you just to point you in the right direction, or to show you something, or to keep you close. He'd love curling up on a couch together in his library/theater to watch movies, or while traveling on a plane or train, and I really think he'd be the one to encourage it as much as possible, which would in turn encourage someone that wanted to be that way to do it more.

I don't think he'd have any issue with someone wanting to hold hands or touch him or kiss him often; I think he'd prefer it. Javi G doesn't seem like he'd respond well to someone being cold or distant with him, so I think he'd seek out a partner that could meet his capacity and tendencies for prolonged physical touch from almost the very beginning of the relationship.

Frankie: I am a firm believer in the fact that while I don't see Frankie as VERY insecure over himself and the way he is in a relationship, I think that there are some things that would (at least at the beginning) give him pause in having someone touch him.

For example, he's got a ton of gray in his hair and beard that wasn't there before, and he's worried that it makes him look old - or that someone running their fingers through his hair would see it and not like it.

He's in different physical shape than he was while enlisted, and while not unfit, he's gained some weight and softened around the belly - and is worried someone might not want that as much as they'd want someone built like Pope or Ironhead - or even Benny.

I think he's probably also a little worried about someone looking too closely at him - seeing the lines and wrinkles on his skin, seeing the wear on his hands, listening to the creaks and pops while he's moving or in bed or whatever .... and letting someone get close enough to touch him all the time would expose those things in a way that might concern him.

I'm not saying that he wouldn't want it or look for it, but I think that it would be surprising to him if this was someone's first inclination with him - just because he's very aware of how he's aging and changing.

But when he's comfortable with you - and figures out that you're acting that way with him because you want to and because you like all of these things about him, it's like a switch flips.

Cuddling on the couch or in bed. Hand holding in the car while one of you drives. Frankie leaning into your touch while you massage his scalp or scratch his back or stand next to each other. Him glowing when you lean over and kiss his cheek or his bicep or reach out and take his hand for absolutely no reason when you're with your friends or in public...

He's never going to tell you to stop - and that's good, because you'd never want to, especially with Frankie.

[kamidukki]

❗⚠ A long answer to an ask, POTENTIAL SPOILER ⚠❗

Below is a reply to an ask from anon zella about a tweet from akuneko official twitter.

I believe this is the text you're referring to?

The phrases 「come a long way」 「master where are you」 and 「disappeared butlers」 did show up. Though, if I may add, in the first part [もう随分... 遠くまで来てしまいました / have come a long way], I'm not sure if the subject is 'I'. With how Japanese works, it can be 'I' or 'you' or 'we'. Google Translate chooses to translate it as 'I', but it doesn't rule out other possibilities. In my mind, I always pick 'we' and think of it as the butlers', any of them, inner voice. But with the development of the main story, the thought of this being exclusively Berrien's is worth considering 🤔 I have some more thoughts about this line, honestly, but let's just move on first.

About the [dissappeared butlers]... In the original JP text, it just mentions 彼ら aka them/male. This twitter user noted that the Korean translation did change the 'them' part into 'the butlers'. BUT. They did use KR-JP Google Translator as well so it may not be accurate. I'd like the opinion of anyone proficient in Korean, if possible. I don't know if this point is even that important or worth paying attention to, so I'll leave it at that. I mean, it couldn't mean the angels instead of the butlers, right...?

Lastly, about the reincarnation part. It does have the word 輪廻 aka samsara (cycle of death and rebirth)/being reborn/reincarnation (courtesy of JapanDict). The question is, is it the master who is being reincarnated? It seems plausible. Most twitter users also added onto this fact that the butlers have no previous master, judging by some of their home screen lines, but just one that keeps being reborn and reborn again. And if not the master, who else? Having said all of this, I just want to say that while it's highly likely that the reincarnation part refers to the master, nowhere in the JP text post it says 'master's reincarnation'. If anyone wants to explore on the idea/other theory of the world that keeps resetting, I guess that's possible...?

Okay. Now, that's gotten quite long. And I haven't touched upon what the ask is really about either, sorry 🙏

So. I have read several theories concerning Berrien, him being the oldest of the butlers (not confirmed yet, but highly likely to be true), him originally being an angel (due to his name), him being a potential back-stabber (due to his weapon, the mysterious silhouette in the theme song, and again, his name)... Among them, I haven't given the thought of him being from another timeline in which all the butlers, or even the master, disappear.

There is an existing theory of akuneko set in the distant future rather than in another world like we're led to believe in the first parts of episode 1. So, not that far-fetched from the timeline thing, Zella. Although, I'm not sure if it's in line with 'various failed timelines' because that phrase would imply a multiverse. If it is multiverse, then a master who's dead will stay dead, while the butlers who disappear will never return. Or I'm misunderstanding something here, lmao.

That being said, Berrien's reaction to master's power is indeed curious. Other people pointed out his response to the question "Isn't there anything else we can do!?" during Bastien's demonisation is highly suspicious. Like he was too resigned. Like he was not helping in purpose. In his defense, Berrien may have witnessed such progression too many times hence the resignation though nobody believes this (including me, lmao).

Now, before I'm inclined to add more and more things and therefore go off tangent, I'll just end it here.

Have a nice day! 💕

[legendsobsessions]

What legendary do you think you could stand the best chance against in a fist fight?

Okay, so the answer to this is going to depend on whether you're counting specifically pokemon classified as legendary, or (as a lot of people do) those classified as mythical as well.

That said: any legendary pokemon or mythical pokemon that doesn't have fists, I'd win by default.

Jokes aside, though, and limiting myself to specifically legendaries, let's start out by going with pokemon I would not fistfight (though I would still happily take them on in a pokemon battle.)

Articuno/Moltres/Zapdos: Too hard to reach for a fistfight.

Mewtwo: I'd feel bad, they've been through enough with Team Rocket without me showing up to physically throw hands. Psychically, they'd probably win.

Raikou: Doesn't have fists, but can reportedly fly anyway? Another issue of reach.

Ho-oh/Lugia: Again, too hard to reach for a fistfight. I can't fly.

Regice/Regirock/Registeel: I don't want to punch solid ice/rock/steel. That feels like a really good way to break my hands.

Latios/Latias: I still can't fly.

Rayquaza: I still can't fly.

Mesprit: "Dare not touch the pokemon's body. In but three short days, all emotions will drain away." No thank you, I will not be fistfighting Mesprit, I happen like my emotions.

Azelf: "Above all, above all, harm not the pokemon. In a scant five days, the offender will grow immobile in entirety." I also like being able to move! Various sources differ on exactly what this part of the "horrific myth" means, but I don't really feel like tempting fate.

Dialga: Steel-type. I don't want to break my hands.

Giratina: Ghost-type. It's inconclusive if just trying to punch a ghost-type would be any more effective than, say, using an actual fighting-type move on it, but I'm still inclined to believe that wouldn't work very well.

Heatran: Literally the embodiment of molten lava. I'm not sure I'd have hands after trying to punch that, but if I did they'd be very badly burned and probably broken because, again, steel-type.

Cobalion: Steel-type. I still don't want to break my hands.

Tornadus/Thundurus/Landorus/Enamorus: Can fly. I can't.

Yveltal: Can fly.

Solgaleo: Steel-type.

Lunala: Once again—this is an issue far more often than I anticipated it would be—I still can't fly. Sure, I could if I had my pokemon helping me, but I don't think I'm allowed to have my pokemon helping me in a fistfight.

Zacian/Zamazenta: Steel-type in their more powerful forms. I'd be more willing to take my chances otherwise.

Eternatus: No.

Galarian Articuno/Moltres/Zapdos: Can fly. Apparently Galarian Moltres can't fly particularly well, but any amount of flight is more than I'm capable of.

ANYWAY! Now that we've got all that out of the way... there really are a lot more legendaries ruled out by virtue of "I would have a very hard time fistfighting them at all" than I thought...

Actually thinking about this, though, and getting back to the topic at hand (I'm so sorry, anon, I got off on a slight tangent) I think I would probably stand the best chance against Uxie or Regigigas. As long as I don't make direct eye contact with Uxie—I'll have you know I'm very good at avoiding direct eye contact—then I could win fairly easily, and while Regigigas is massive and strong, Regigigas is also very slow and I could use that to my advantage.

This is all purely theoretical, of course. I wouldn't fistfight any legendary or mythical pokemon unless I had a very good reason to, and if I did have a very good reason to I'd probably find some way around the various issues I brought up—but also I'd fight with my pokemon first, in most cases.

Thanks for the question, anon! This was a fascinating thought experiment.

[caus34concern]

okay so i found the i love play rehearsal demo and i just wanna go over the changes because i'm very normal about christine canigula

"And on the stage when I'm bearing praise of(?) soul / I feel hella in control, but it's not me it's just the role"

this is basically christine saying how all the praise she gets when she's acting makes her feel like she's in control, but in reality, she's basically just acting out someone else's life. this also kinda connects to her line in agtikbi "I don't always relate to other people my age / Except when I'm on the stage". the only time people praise her, the only time she feels connected to others is when she's acting as someone else. not to mention the fact she is filled with a ton of self-doubt and lacks a proper sense of self ("I was trying to be someone else for someone else. And that is not who I wanna be." / "I don't think I should go out with anyone until I figure out who I am...") and only feels confident in herself when acting because when she has a role to act she knows who she's supposed to be.

"If my words were not pre-written for me I'll sometimes fumble awkwardly / Like when I went to fail to ski- There goes my ADD where was I? Ugh!"

this line ties in with the verse before this which was the "Life is easy in rehearsal / You follow a script so you know what comes next" one. she uses theater as a form of escapism because she doesn't have to worry about messing up or making mistakes. everything is planned, there are no surprises. she won't have to worry about suddenly going off-topic into a random tangent because of her adhd if she has a script. christine probably views her life as a mess because of her adhd and while a play is also messy in some ways, it always comes together neatly in the end, unlike her life. which is why she enjoys it. she uses it to get away from her messy life. (also a squip is basically just a script that's in your brain sooo)

there are also a few other minor changes which i think are feel are pretty unimportant but interesting.

"Like the only time I get to be the center of attention" was originally "Like the only time I tend to get attention from the boy" yeah, she does specifically say boy not boys and i'm not entirely sure whether she means jake or jeremy but she seems to have a specific guy she liked at this point. (i'm assuming it's jake and that this song replaces agtikbi meaning it comes after touching my hand where she mentions that jake is a "pretty boy cliche from what i can see, but why is he so interesting to me?")

she also suddenly breaks out into the puck dialogue that jeremy originally says before agtikbi (probably because she originally played puck in the book). which is another reason i feel like this song replaced agtikbi. well, aside from the fact the whole "I guess a part of me likes to, who knew?" part is in this demo.

the ending was also originally "Back to play rehearsal / I know that it's lame, but it's totally true / The reason I love play rehearsal / Is I get to sit and hang and talk / With friends"

[gigawatt-smile]

your icon is transmasc lockwood..give me ur transmasc lockwood thoughts pls *holds out a bowl*

(and any other gender/sexuality hcs you have for l&co characters 👀👀)

Oh I have SO much to say on all of this thank you so much for asking and noticing. (There are some book spoilers here so I will put a small * at the start for people who haven't read them. General spoilers are marked with ** :] )

Lockwood:

He's a stealth trans man and has hit a point in his transition where it's no longer at the forefront of his mind

He used to hate that he couldn't wear a binder on cases (he still did it at times) but I think he firmly has top surgery now. I have two headcanons about him getting top surgery, actually, though one is more of a joke

One is that Inspector Barnes managed to get it under DEPRAC insurance because binding was seen as inhibiting his ability to do cases

The other is that he once got a case that paid well and used the money from it to get top. He didn't think to tell anyone and returned one day with the drains in the pockets of his greatcoat completely high off painkillers

** His parents and sister never knew about him being trans and that makes him upset sometimes

He is a binary trans man, though I use the transmac flag for my icon (slightly altered colours) because I am. He used he/him pronouns

He's asexual to me as well

He's straight in a respecting women way and definitely in a bi wife way. With mentioning that...

Lucy

I'm gonna go off on two tangents with this with transfem Lucy and afab non-binary Lucy because they both greatly appeal to me; I'll explain them in that order

I'm not really in the mood to get into much transphobia because I don't want to bring the tone down, but her mom was not supportive at all, though she heavily defied her mom in that regard and was out to her friends

* Her sisters were supportive too, as much as they could be under the guise of their mother, and her sister Mary would help out a lot

Norrie in the show probably fills a similar role

Once she left home and went to London she was excited by the prospect of finally getting to be herself and openly using her name with new people

She uses she/they pronouns

My afab nb Lucy heavily ties into trans Lockwood, actually

Basically Lockwood getting rid of his old binders and her asking for one just to see what it's like and realising she prefers the way she looks wearing one

Lockwood talks to her about it blah blah heartwarming stuff about looking after your body n such but being happy for her

Anyways I like both of these for different reasons

Here lucy uses they/she pronouns

Anyways she's also massively bisexual

George

Oh he's got he/they energy in the same way Cabinet Man or Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon do

He's been out for years, and is quite comfortable with the fact he's trans and doesn't mind people asking or telling people about it

The more comfortable he is around you the more he'll say

His parents were just chill with it too, and his brothers were delighted to "teach him" how to be a guy

Also side note congrats on your autism George. This doesn't really have anything to do with it but it's on my mind

He's just got that transmasculine swag and that's cool for him

I think he may be pansexual, or omnisexual

Flo

I don't have as much to say on Flo but I adore her and she deserves a spot

Anyway she uses she/they/any pronouns in a gender is a social construct way and is adamantly opposed

She tells people to get creative with the pronouns

** Holly

Absolutely a trans woman who loves being a woman I take no criticism on this

She likes being pretty and wearing nice clothes because it makes her feel euphoric

She's not stealth trans, but she likes people not being able to tell

She's pretty open with the people she trusts

* Another joke-y headcanon that I have is the real reason Lucy is jealous of Holly is because Holly is further through her transition

But they learn to bond over it

* Also she's a lesbian because "flatmate from Fittes" who is a girl as well as the whole "there are other possibilities in this world" line. Yeah she's heavily implied to be a lesbian in the books

Kipps

Maybe trans, maybe bisexual, may be just an ally. Idk, I don't think a lot about him

I can see him being a stealth trans man like Lockwood ngl

Anyway rant over, thank you asker :D

[mizukagami-takamagahara]

About your tags on the Ignis post, I didn't know Aspec!Terumi headcanon was controversial? (Like, he's not human, I can't see gender or sexuality coming naturally to him.) What do people usually headcanon him as? Straight?

I'll admit I'm largely just assuming it's controversial. I think a lot of people equate "talking about sex" to "wanting to have sex," so with Terumi's constant dirty mouth and euphemisms it can make sense to read him as sexually motivated. Like, 'he talks like a pervert, why wouldn't he be one???' I guess I just think that Terumi doesn't fit the fandom stereotype of "asexual."

I'm really not involved in shipping and that side of fandom, so to be fair this is the opinion of an outsider looking in. But I think a lot of people headcanon him as gay or bi. He's paired with Relius, his hosts, or Trinity most often.

A lot of people are also inclined to interpret their faves as similar to themselves, so that bias may color my interpretations and those of others. I myself am an asexual Terumi fan, so that may be influencing me!

As for my personal hcs/interpretation...

It's been a while since I went through BlazBlue, and I've started doing these deep-dive character studies, so I might want to come back to these points at a later date- when I've really dug into his character and have sources to analyze, and see if my opinions change. For now, these thoughts are kind of 'off the cuff.' They've had a lot of time to stew in my brain and soak up the broth.

((I mean, I am aware that headcanons don't need to be canon-compliant, but I'm the type of person who specifically gets their enjoyment of this sort of thing by treating the source material as a mystery to solve or a puzzle to put together, so cross-referencing with canon and shooting for accuracy/believability is a large part of the fun for me.))

He talks dirty a lot, but it seems to be intended to either 1.) infuriate others and make them uncomfortable or 2.) hurt others directly by humiliating, defiling, or dominating them. I see his sexual commentary as a weapon- it's a power play, one more way he can harm, Hatefarm [tm], and make himself feel powerful.

He's implied to be somewhat averse to touch and connection. He's strict about interaction being on his terms and freaks out when it isn't. [As a separate but related point, connection itself is something he really doesn't seek. It likely isn't in his nature, considering what he is/was. He's much more inclined to use 'connection-seeking-behavior' as a tool to prompt vulnerability he can then take advantage of, or as a tool to annoy/aggravate people he knows won't be receptive to it.]

[Though there may be something to say about the intended relationship between the Susano'o and the Amaterasu- or the 'role' of the Susano'o- and how that could influence Terumi's 'natural' or innate perception of relationships as a whole. But like. The last thing I need is another tangent to go on.]

I have a lot of thoughts about Terumi becoming sort of 'humanized' over the However Many Years since leaving the Susano'o Unit (kind of like how when you live in an area long enough, you start becoming more similar to the locals.) He simultaneously talks about himself as separate from and above 'disgusting, pathetic, powerless' humanity... while quite clearly acting very human (selfish, impulsive, fun-seeking) and engaging in man-made pleasures (guitar, live music, accessories) that he's just as likely to insult others for engaging with. He even seemingly identifies most with his 'human' form; when he Self-Observes we get that Yellow Jacket Terumi rather than his spirit form or anything resembling the Susano'o. To me, this suggests that that is the form Terumi most identifies with/sees as himself.

Because of the above point, I think Terumi isn't inclined to human connection, touch, sex, etc- they aren't instinctual/intuitive to him, considering his origin, they aren't a need the way they are for a social species- but he does enjoy and relate to more parts of the human experience than he's willing to admit. So, like, I don't think Terumi is necessarily sex-averse, but I don't think he's at all internally sexually motivated. Like, I can see him enjoying feeling sexy and possibly even pursuing sex under extremely specific circumstances, but that would absolutely have to be on his terms and it could be hard to predict when/where/how the stars needed to align for it to happen. 97% of the time it's much more likely that if he is making a pass at anyone, he wants them to hate it. If they reciprocated, he'd likely get upset fast.

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

Headcanon - Delta Nano Development Part 2 - Code Expansion

Okay, so you know about the code expansion explanation in the last headcanon I wrote that was based around how Robot Masters were experiencing things, including Rock, Night Man, and especially Blues?

Well I did also say that Blues' Independence development was a big part in the development for X's free will AI. That is way more advanced than Blues', not for the fact that it can just evolve faster. That wouldn't be possible without the data collected on code expansion on Robot Master's experiences themselves, and studying what the properties of the Roboenza can do on Robotics itself and developing the technology to prevent any viruses from corrupting X's data.

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3!!

Reading @oofitsbethi's "Fallen Savior" fanfic, I thought that was definitely an interesting concept, and it definitely made the most sense. Since, to my knowledge, I do not think X's AI was ever explained in canon, and I hardly ever think of stuff like this on a dime. I usually ask other friends for help on stuff unless I know everything about the lore itself and how it works in canon. What I can do to change it slightly but still make it work.

I had my fair share of doing stuff like that in the Transformers fandom (albeit, I was still a beginner writer back in the day- any of you guys remember what fanfic I wrote, whaddup), so I had plenty to work with, and there was a lot to go off of in terms of terminology and mechanics, technology, hardware and software wise in terms of how machines and the Cybertronians themselves worked.

Here, for the Megaman fandom, from my understanding, we get the basics of how the Robot Masters work and what they do, and that's it. We get a few tidbits here and there for actual mechanics, but that's about it. We barely get an understanding of how X's AI even works. And it's based on variations of how it does, based on what version of the X series you're looking at.

All of those variations make sense if we put them all together and make it a less cohesive and complicated AI on what it can do. Since it's supposed to be forming what leads to X's potential. Same thing for his free will and how fast the code expands internally and doing whatever the fuck he wants.

Of course, some explanations of this coding needs specifics as well, such as the expanding code preventing viral infections as mentioned previously.

This is an explanation of more than just the "magic" element to Delta Nano, now, isn't it? Well, I don't blame you, since it does touch upon the technicalities of technology and the energies behind certain powers.

Now, I'll also go into a brief tangent that Delta Nano isn't equipped with chips officially. Hoooo nononono. They are installed into the Reploid's system once they're tweaked to their liking, and it's been tested multiple times. Axl and Lumine's cases are exceptions to this rule- sort of.

See, they have crystals they still use, the first four being prototypes, so they're unstable, and the other four are perfected, so they're controlled better by their owner aka Lumine. It doesn't have to be strictly connected to crystals, per say, but they do have the option to use crystals, and it's usually used up to four or less. Mostly one or two, since most reploids who want to use it don't know if they'll feel well controlled to use up to four, which is an understandable reason. It’s a breeze for both Axl and Lumine, but that doesn’t mean it’s a breeze for any other Reploid.

Would X want to have Delta Nano, is the next question. And to answer said question, no he wouldn’t necessarily want it. Now, his armors do come with them overtime, though they still aren’t utilized within his regular everyday armor. As he doesn’t use his armors very much to begin with, except with the moment for them to be presented and that's pretty much it. The exception being the Blue Jay Armor, but we'll also have to get into that another time.

He doesn’t feel he needs them. Except, he didn't realize he had it all this time, except it’s not brought out to its full potential. The Blue Jay armor harbored his Blue Jay wings he obtained, and his own code expanded to keep them after realizing he could, especially after Zero had acquired his own wings, them being Phoenix wings.

What about Zero's dark powers, you also may be asking? Well, that just staves off from the evil energy and maverick virus he master carries. Along with the experiences and memories he gained since being found after gaining amnesia. I'll probably make a part two to that as well. Maybe.

But that's all I'll input unless I make more development on Delta Nano again.

[idyllic-affections]

Duuuuude, dragons are just so freaking cool, with how flexible there are with how they can be written.

They could be just savage, rampaging monsters, who just so happen to have a habit of collecting precious gems and metals.

They could be intelligent, morally complexing thinking beings. Who just so happen to have a habit of collecting precious gems and minerals.

Sometimes, they're a little mix or both! Intelligent creatures, who just take the piss out of rampaging around and terrorizing the poor peasants….. and may or may not just so happen to have a habit of collecting precious gems and minerals. Lol.

Sorry for that little tangent there, as I'm sure you could never, ever could have guessed(/s/j) I'm something of a dragon fan, eheh.

Regardless, I saw your new OC, and I just wanted to give Lian a grand old welcome to the.... universe! I found your lore for them interesting, and I look forwards to how you potentially may expand upon them in the future!

I unfortunately am going to have to skip the dragon boy, as much as it fucking pains me to do so as I'm planning on saving up for Jingliu when her banner pops. Or maybe Topaz, she's on the table too. I'll definitely try to make a grab for the other High Elders when we start visiting the other Xianzhou ships. Honestly all the High Elders have such sick titles. Imbibitor Lunae, Caelorum Venti, Glaciator Marum, all them are so dope!

Aaaaand, I saw the announcement of you opening up requests for HSR, and oh-hoh-hoh, I got an idea featuring the found family of all time (the Astral Express crew) that you may find interesting!

As well as maybe another genshin one, but I imagine you already have a lot of those, so I'll hold off and let you work through what you already have!

and finally, before I take my leave for the (at the time of me sending you this ask) night, I leave you with food for thought. If you were a god in a fantasy setting (whatever one you find yourself particularly musing with when reading this ask), what would your domain be. As in, what would you be the 'God of'?

-🐉Anon

SOOO TRUE hi beloved <3

dragons are so fascinating and have soo much potential. like. they COULD be feral and a little violent and deeply in touch with their more animalistic instincts, especially DRAGON dragons, where they aren't a humanoid species. or they could also be very gentle and intelligent! just a huge gentle giant who is consciously aware that it has the capacity to be destructive and therefore does its best not to be <3 or they could be a blend of both, depending on the circumstances they're in. and i think that's so cool. dragons are so cool.

lian is sooooooo silly *squishes them lovingly* i adore them. lian the silly. the beloved. i am still altering their details and whatnot, but they're very lovely and wonderful <3

i understand AKDHFJKSH ouuuhghgh the other high elders... i feel like i am absolutely going to want to add them to the collection one day. they seem so neat. they really do have very cool titles!!! i love them they're so interesting to me. i should have gotten into hsr later so that i wouldn't have to wait for more vidyadhara lore smh /j /lh

you are always welcome to send in requests! i promise i'm not overwhelmed haha <3 i can't guarantee when the req will be posted, but i will definitely get to it eventually, so don't feel bad if you send in thoughts often. you wouldn't be the first anon to, and i love reading all of you guys' thoughts!!!

ohhh this question is so fascinating...... i'm not completely sure, really. something to do with change, resilience, and transition, i think. rebirth maybe. the transition between life and death. the transition from cisgender to a non binary eldritch horror (/hj). major life changes. something like that, i think. transformation. not metamorphosis though because i do not like flying insects! but you know. things like that maybe!!!!

[achillean-knight]

Sorry to bother ya, but, when does this take place?

https://www.tumblr.com/achillean-knight/738485575236124672?source=share

I'm asking cuz it's not really clear. Is this happening IRL? Or is this happening in Cassie's mind? I'm saying this because I saw another post where you told your version of events to an anon who shared plot points with you, and you said that Cassie has fully succumbed to the virus. Is this a hallucination Charlie is giving her as a chance to fight the virus back? If so, that'd be interesting.

G'day!! Ty for the ask! Not bothered at all tbh :D This is sort of a long reply but I hope that's ok.

YEAH I never truly touched upon this, huh? WELL this lil comic is happening while she's unconscious after the elevator incident (after the mimic and all that jazz.) She puts the mask on before the elevator nearly comes to its end- kinda like how one of the paths you take in the mimic chase, you arrive at the Fredbear cutout and put the mask on for some reason. I like to think it's to escape the reality of the situation and what's going on around her to calm herself down, y'know?

However, in the mask she's kinda stuck in a purgatory-like state. She can't take her mask off irl, due to being so badly hurt that she can't move, so she's stuck in this sort of dream/digital purgatory where Charlie's spirit resides.

You remember the FNAF 3 minigames, where you can find hints and secrets to get yourself the happiest day minigame? I like to think Charlie's spirit can enter digital realms like that, as she is pretty much manifest at the end of the happiest day minigame where you see the sprite with the puppet mask give cake to the Golden Freddy kid.

Along with that, in Help Wanted 2, you can find the nightmarionne plush in a variety of minigames, the lobby and even Princess Quest 2, so I took all that and made a Haven for Charlie to reside. It also represents the tree with the graves you see in Pizzaria Simulator + the tree you see in one of the FNAF 3 minigames :> (I forgot which one, I think it's BB?)

But yeah, after that little side tangent (I'm sorry, I rlly wanted to explain that too HSHSHSHSB) it's a place for Charlie to protect the MCI, and she decides to take the chance to protect Cassie aswell, to prevent the chance of the Glitchtrap virus taking over while she's unconscious. What happens after is... Well, I'm not sure BSBSVSVSVCSCS

I'm still plotting the story out, but I want to go the 'Cassie becomes the next Vanny' sort of route, because like alot of my AU, I'm incredibly inspired by a sort of theory? Plot idea? I saw in a video (which also inspired the different head for the Blob SBBSSB) I should really link all the videos that got me coming up with ideas for folks to look though, huh?

ANYWAYS, SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS, I love discussing ideas and such for my AU!! So thank you again for the ask 🛐 If I missed anything, or you have question, lmk!! I'm down to answer!

Also, this comic, the puppet one, takes place a fair bit into the AU. I created it BC I was too impatient to wait to get up to this part JSHSBSBAV I'll HOPEFULLY illustrate the situation better when the comic catches up!

[teabutmakeitazure]

Egocentric

>Yan! Pantalone x Fem! reader

a/n: okay so rich guy with fluffy looking hair is slowly getting me down bad.

This Regrator fic was suggested by @shumidehiro :3

Warnings: mentions of 'the deed' (if that counts as a warning), intimidating conversation in general, being dressed against one's will, suggestive words

Word count: 1.6k

------

When you were called into his office, you didn’t think he would be in a sour mood. It was evident from the strained smile and tilted head that he had something pestering him. As you sat down on a chair across the table, you nervously grabbed your skirt at the menacing aura radiating from him. Unlike Pantalone, you didn’t have a smile on your face.

The harbinger sighs, crosses his arms and leans back. Disturbingly enough, the smile never left his face. You shudder.

He eyes you up and down, giving way to a widening smile. "It's nice to see you my dear. You look enchanting."

"T-thank you." You mentally scold yourself for the stutter, but he doesn't seem to pay it mind.

"Ah, I just cannot understand. How do you manage to always look so captivating?"

Flatter him, you tell yourself. "I'm your wife. It is only natural that I look the part."

"Yes, of course, my dearest and loveliest jewel. Before I go on a tangent, did you get anything unwanted in the mail? I hadn't gotten the chance to look over the letters we received in the past week. Being the lady of this household, you must have gotten through them."

"We did receive letters but nothing unnecessary."

He leans in, hands now on the table. The scene feels more like an interrogation than a talk between husband and wife. "Think harder, dear. I'm sure you're smart enough to understand my point."

With that, eye contact breaks and you feel like you can breathe again. Why he called you in during his time in the office is a mystery. Pantalone never lets you in here. Going through his belongings or documents is strictly prohibited and honestly, you don't want to either, too scared of what you might read in those papers.

Not wanting to look into his eyes again, your gaze goes to his shirt. It's unbuttoned enough to show his chest, and his sleeves are rolled up as well. The visible skin makes your cheeks heat up. Next, your eyes travel to the piles of documents scattered across the room. Being maybe your third time here, you look at how the wood shines for being used so much. The stack of papers on his right is a bit too high and-

"Are you still thinking or just lost in thought?"

His voice startles you and he chuckles at the reaction. You shake your head, not wanting to offend him. "I don't understand what you mean, my lord."

"Ah, I'll get straight to the point then. There have been too many letters addressed to you. I know who they're from, yes, but I would like you to stop writing back."

The fact that he just sugar coated a command to stop replying to the few friends you were able to keep in touch with is just surprising. He gave you the liberty to write back to them after taking the responsibility of writing to your family on your behalf. So why is suddenly taking it back?

"Did something offend you?"

"Not yet, but you will if you do not obey."

The memory of being locked in the attic for a week resurfaces and you shake your head. "I'll stop writing back."

"And you will forget about them. I understand that it might be hard for someone like you, but you can't think about them anymore."

Another link to society cut off.

"Yes, my lord."

-

The master bedroom has the best view in all the estate. It faces the west so you can see the sunset and also the flora and other vegetation that grows. There are flowers that glow in the dark, similar to the Monstadt lampgrass you read about. They make a mesmerising sight after dusk, one you look forward to everyday.

As you change threads to continue the embroidery, you glance up at the clock. One hour left till sunset. The Regrator is out on duty and from the message sent home, would not be coming back till at least late night. You have a peaceful evening up ahead, and you have every plan to enjoy it.

Sunset approaches as the cloth in your hand gets filled with colourful patterns of flora and such. As you carefully change threads again upon completing a small fraction of the pattern, there’s a frantic knock on the door. A maid whose name you never bothered to remember steps in, clearly out of breath. It makes you nervous because there can only be one reason behind that.

“My lady, the lord harbinger is on his way home. He sent instructions beforehand.”

Great. What a way to enjoy the evening.

With that, you’re dressed in something that would hardly classify as clothing because of how sheer it is. The belt on the sad excuse of a dress is just millimetres away from digging into your flesh and even your undergarments are lace. He wouldn’t even have to undress you. Everything is visible anyway. When the maids leave, you sulkingly go to the bed, covering yourself with the blanket and seating yourself.

You were told to stay there, which was your original plan for the evening, but being ordered to do it just makes you salty. Even worse is that Pantalone would never care about your feelings in the matter. He’s a businessman so he thinks that by giving you this life, he can have all of you as payment. You wonder just why he decided to pick you of all people.

The door suddenly opens painstakingly slowly with an eerie creak, and you realise that you forgot to draw the curtains over the window. Pantalone steps in, closing the door behind himself and shrugging off his coat. He sets his hair and you watch his elegant movements with intrigue, knowing that as soon as he opens his mouth, you’ll be bitter again. Might as well enjoy the quietness.

In fluid motions, he walks over to the window and draws the curtain, not sparing you a glance even once. You fiddle with your hands nervously under the covers, anticipating the inevitable scolding for not welcoming him and hiding yourself. Pantalone then walks over the edge of the bed, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. His smile knowingly widens, amused, as you bite your lower lip out of apprehension.

“I went through the trouble of sending a messenger and yet here you are hiding under the covers.” He sighs, crossing his arms, “Come now. I want to see how you look in that dress.”

You hug your knees, blanket slipping off your shoulder. “I’m cold.”

“The fireplace is lit. We can sit there.”

He’s insistent, but you don’t want to listen to him. Despite being used to it, you can’t bring yourself to obey his commands this time. This either ends in you under him on the bed (sometimes being spared on the expense of a collection of marks on your body) or with his hands all over you. It has always been one of the two outcomes for whenever you’re dressed up for him.

“I did not anticipate the possibility of my wife acting like a sulking child. You didn’t welcome me as well, but I will spare you for that. Now come, before I lose my patience, dearest.”

The way the pet name was seethed out led you to remove the covers and stand up. As expected, his eyes roamed your figure, stopping at your face when a hand beckons you over. You’re immediately taken into his arms, face in his chest feeling the bare skin. The fireplace dutifully crackles as Pantalone’s hands travel up and down your figure. With a teasing squeeze to your waist, he moves back, eyes falling onto the clearly inappropriate neckline of your dress.

“You must be wondering why there was no necklace this time.”

No, I wasn’t. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Ah, ever the slow one. I got you a little gift, and I thought I should put it on you myself.”

You have an idea of what the gift might be. When he takes out a box from his coat pocket and walks over to you, you start counting the seconds. The box opens and you’ve never wanted to hit your head on the wall so bad.

It’s a choker necklace that oddly resembles a collar. A jewel matching his eye colour hangs from the middle and it tickles your skin when he clasps the hook. It’s on you now, and you feel absolutely humiliated.

“Do you like it?”

“It… matches your eyes.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Knowing better than to lie, you voice your concern. “It’s nice, but I don't understand. Why a necklace like this?”

“I’m free to dress you up as I like, am I not?”

“Y-yes, my lord.”

“I’m the only one capable enough of keeping you safe from this filthy, disgusting world. Ah, and your embroidery work, I saw your improvement. You’re my lovely wife with the loveliest talents, so it’s only natural that I would want everyone to know, right? This shall be a staple in your wardrobe for social events and gatherings.”

“Thank you for the gift, but erm… would it not be inappropriate to wear such a thing in front of others?” If I can’t spare all the embarrassment, I could at least try to spare a little. “I would like to wear it at home, in front of you.”

“As sly as you are, I’m afraid you’ll be wearing a different mark at home.”

He steps forward, wrapping an arm around your waist, lips tickling your neck. “I wonder how the necklace would look in the midst of purple and red. Why don't we give it a try?”

[cadavercowboy]

(i wish there was a read more for asks because i'm going nuts here) i'm also with miss meat on this one. i'm a huge fan of true crime as well and to my knowledge cannibalistic serial killers tend to have a history of abusive mothers (it gets really fucked up) so i'm still wondering whether or not steve lied about his mother being dead to bond with noa, or if he only wants her to be dead, or if her death came at the hands of something seriously fucked up.

i also have a theory about his family simply being a cult (baphomet references, worshippers were accused of cannibalism at some point) and about his parents simply wanting steve to follow in their footsteps because human meat is such a lucrative business.

to me, steve seems very susceptible to manipulation, despite him being a manipulator himself. when he likes someone, someone like noa, he's surprisingly easy to bend. i'd guess his parents probably did the same thing (although i can't decide from which side or both). his disregard for the value of human life has to come from somewhere.

also, human meat apparently tastes like pork or veal, and the texture is said to be different but also a cannibal once confessed that any average person could not tell the difference. so the effect seems mostly psychological and steve is almost religious in the way he explains how he feels about eating human meat. it's powerful, becoming one with somebody else, surrendering, giving yourself to them completely.

IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I COULDNT HELP MYSELF i need to know your theories as well so maybe i'll jumpscare you in the dms to not clog up the dash but i'm shy

OKAY I wasn’t gonna go off on a tangent about my Steve’s Mom Theories, but I may as well, right? Fresh spoilers under the cut obvs. For the record, I am sleep deprived and generally lacking in brain cells so I promise you this response is gonna be all over the damn place and probably won’t make a bit of sense.

Re: Mama Kemp Being Dead

I initially had a theory that Steve’s mother may still be alive, however when Noa mentioned that her father had passed…it made me wonder whether Steve lied about his own mother. I fully believe that’s something he would lie about just to forge that little connection with Noa and offer a sense of comfortability by offering up something very personal that she could relate to.

BUT more importantly, I have a way more in-depth insane theory about his mother actually being deceased. So here’s my headcanon. I think that Steve’s mother may have been abusive. At the very least, I don’t think she was very loving or affectionate so he grew up extremely emotionally deprived. Kind of similarly to what you mentioned about how many cannibals have mommy issues, I think the lack of maternal love/attention during his most developmental and important years kind of fucked him up.

Now here’s where my theory splits off into two possible routes.

On one hand, let’s assume his mother passes away for some reason or another. I think her death ripped something open in him. Facing the reality of knowing he would never mend their relationship and feel the love he was robbed of as a wee lad would break him a little bit. He realizes he’ll never know a mother’s love and so he begins seeking that fundamental level of closeness elsewhere. Just based on the speech he gives Noa about what he gains from eating people (surrender, love, etc), I really think his whole murder/cannibalism thing derives first and foremost from a lack of emotional connection within the confines of a normal relationship.

This one’s kind of wicked and fucked up and is borne simply from the fact that I read way too fucking far into this film. My alternate theory is that Steve killed his own mother. I think that she may even have been the first person he ate. Touching again on his speech, he said it himself that there’s no way to be closer to a person than to give yourself over and be literally consumed by them. That was his way of both fulfilling the emptiness he felt from her lack of love and healing his inner child from the abuse he did/might have suffered.

I’m about to get a little carried away, but since I’ve already gone off on my Mom Theories, I have to continue because it bleeds directly into my other deranged theory about That Hideous Pink Dress. I really think that was some Norman Bates shit. That thing was ugly and outdated and looked like something straight out of another decade. How crazy would it be if that dress belonged to his mother or reminded him of something she wore and that’s why he gave it to Noa to wear? Everything he does is to compensate for the gaping hole his mother left by not loving him enough. He dressed the woman he had feelings for in an outfit reminiscent of his mother and it was the ultimate Freudian slip (although it was probably intentional so not so much a “slip”). Similar to Norman Bates, he could have done it to avoid facing the reality that his mother is dead and he’s the one who killed her, but it also could just be as simple as fulfilling a need in a super sick and twisted way. Noa loved him or made him feel loved at least and making her wear that placated a need to be loved by his mother finally.

ANYWAY. I really agree with Steve being incredibly malleable. It’s probably a desperate need for validation and acceptance that makes him so easily persuaded. When he likes someone and craves that connection, he would do anything to get that from them. Even if that means being vulnerable and showing his hand in a way that’s risky…he’ll do it because his worth lies in how other people perceive him.

As far as the taste of human flesh, when he said he likes the taste of it I don’t think it was literal. It probably tastes no worse or better than animals do. Like you said, it’s about the power. Almost a placebo effect that makes you think it tastes better simply because you know how corrupt and immoral it is to eat it. He doesn’t enjoy the flavor so much as he enjoys the compelling intensity of consuming someone and joining with them so fully.

I didn't even notice all the allusions to cultism when I watched it until someone else pointed it out (I was too busy being feral over Steve) but that poses an interesting question about whether his family was involved in it and that's how he ended up being a cannibal. I really, really wish they delved more into his backstory instead of just being like "yeah I ate a person when I was 19" like???? DETAILS!!!! I NEED DETAILS! How did it even happen in the first place, how did he find the rest of the community, what made him want to participate in the business aspect of it rather than just the eating part? I have a million and one questions about him, I could sit here all day theorizing about it all.

Sorry for all of this unhinged, endless rambling bullshit. It probably makes no sense and I’m not gonna read it back because I’m afraid of my own brain and the foolishness it produces haha. Also you’re always welcome to jump in my dm’s, I’m as shy and dumb as they come so you’ve got nothing to worry about <3