#if I wasn’t so attached to some of the themes of volume 1 I would even possibly have tried to rework it into my blog title

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Terminal Seconds of Moon Knight,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #30.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Two

Warnings: uncomfortable tension, drinking/alcohol, brief mentions of depression (if you read the context clues it’s there), anxious themes, the boys are yet again being ridiculous.

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Charlotte’s first encounter with Jake is none other than memorable. Battling her internal monologue is how she lives her daily life, so this situation is only letting those voices run wild.

Author’s Note: Early chapter two because I am so so so excited for you to meet Charlotte! She’s been one of the most fun characters to create because she has such a specific personality. I hope you love her xoxo see you on Thursday 🥰

Looks That Kill - Motley Crue “If you don’t get her name, you might not make it back.”

“In 300 feet, turn right,” plays through my car’s speakers as I slowly drive through these cramped streets. All the buildings are covered in red brick, some with vines attached; it’s a quaint little area in the city. 

I pull into a parking space and check the maps on my phone again; okay, it’s only a street over; I can just walk that. Grabbing my bag and the folder I’ve been sent with, I step out and promptly lock my doors. Looking at my reflection in my windows, I gently adjust my pants and ensure my shirt is still tucked in. Leaning in and reapplying my dark red lip, I need to make sure I look professional. 

It’s mid-afternoon and fairly quiet, so all I can hear is the click of my shoes as I walk towards the bar. Well, Tavern, rather.  The sign jutting out from the building, the ocean peaking out just behind it, that’s a beautiful accident, now isn’t it? As I approach, I notice the cobblestone street directly across from it. Which must be a nightmare at 1:30 am. 

I took a deep breath before grabbing the door and mentally prepared for this conversation. Or so I thought. The door chime rings loudly, given only ten people are in the bar. The red glow is intense even though it’s still light out. I can’t help but notice the immense amount of pirate memorabilia on the walls and the cute vintage jukebox in the corner. 

As I take it in, I hear the chatter from the patrons sitting at the bar slowly increase in volume. I look over to see a petite man with a curly head of hair laughing loudly at the girl he’s sat next to. Quickly startled out of my focus by a tall, slender gentleman. 

“You look lost,” he quietly says, a completely different vibe from the rest of this place, taking me aback, “Do you need something?” 

“Uh, yes, actually,” I stammer a bit, not expecting someone to come out of thin air like that, “I’m actually here because some paperwork wasn’t completed when the bar opened.” 

“Oh!” his eyes go wide, “he will be the one you want to talk to, darling,” he says rather quickly, pointing towards the bar.

“Could I speak with Mr. Kiszka?” I ask, attempting to sound as confident as I can.

Suddenly, the two sat at the bar looked over to me, with the one behind the bar turning to me before, in unison, they asked, “Which one?” The long-haired ‘girl’ turned to reveal that I was, in fact, very wrong. How many long-haired men are in this bar right now? Jesus Christ. 

I looked into the folder, and seeing his name at the top, I thought, “Um, Jacob Kiszka, I’m sorry.” 

They both point at the one behind the bar, with his hair tied into a low bun, shirt halfway open, and towel tossed over his shoulder. He’s definitely not who I expected to run into here; I figured I would be dealing with a larger, burly sailor-type man who just quit working at the shipyard. 

“What do you need from me, dear?” his voice soft and raspy, which continued to throw me off. 

“Well, I’m sorry to do this to you randomly, Mr. Kiszka,” I start, with him quickly interjecting. 

“Mr. Kiszka is our father. Please call me Jake,” the three of them giggling at his comment. Are they all brothers? I mean, I guess they do look similar the harder I look at them.. Unimportant.

He extends his hand over the bar, and I quickly shift everything into the other arm to meet his. 

“Charlotte Rhodes,” I tell him, trying to focus on my grasp being firm on his hand. 

“Well, Jacob, unfortunately, you did not finish filling out some of this paperwork when you opened the bar officially,” I tell him, watching his smile falter a bit. This is the part I hate.

“I’ve been sent here to tell you what is needed from you. It shouldn’t take too long to get situated.” I start flipping through the paperwork, looking for the pages that he needs. 

“Jesus, Jake,” the long-haired one pipes up, “Paperwork’s the only thing fucking you right now, huh?” followed by the most accurate description of a “ha ha ha” laugh I’ve ever heard. 

“SAM,” the petite curly-headed one interjects, his eyes widening. “Not the time.” 

The one who I’ve now learned is Sam mutters, “Tough crowd,” under his breath. 

I inhale deeply, letting out a “Riiiiiiight” on the exhale. I grab a blank piece of paper from the folder, set it in front of myself, and scribble down little things to not forget. ‘Long hair, facial hair, taller = Sam.’ 

As I’m informing him, I watch a young woman waltz behind the bar, starting to wipe down wine glasses and put them away. She is minding her own business, but nonetheless, she’s behind the bar. 

“Um,” I pause, “Who is that?” I quietly ask, pointing at her subtly. 

I swear I watch the color in his face drain out like a cartoon. Oh no, he hasn’t filed paperwork for her either. Well, that’s karma for you! 

“I just hired her,” the subtle panic lacing his voice, “Uh, I just haven’t had time to, um,” he keeps stumbling over his words. One of his hands finds its place on the back of his neck, giving away that he’s getting overwhelmed. 

I don’t know what comes over me; I open the folder, pull out a packet of stapled paperwork, and flip through it. 

“According to your payroll, Joshua M Kiszka and Daniel R Wagner are the only two employees currently.” Noticing the handful of hired and terminated employees below them and choosing not to bring them up. 

“Only I call-” Sam speaks up, locking eyes with the girl behind the bar, “WE call him Daniel.” 

“Unfortunately, ‘Daniel’ is the only name I was provided,” I know my confusion is apparent on my face. What is going on here? He’s defending Daniel’s name but also grouping this girl into it.. Are they..? 

“The rest of us call him Dan or Danny,” the small one informs me. 

‘Don’t use Daniel, or Sam gets emotional.’ 

“I really don’t mind either way-” Daniel starts to speak, quickly interrupted by Sam. 

“No! That’s my- our name for you!” 

I feel a slight breeze as a slender, brown-haired girl swiftly passes me, walking directly up to Sam and grabbing his arm. 

She looked at me, her face twisted into an uncomfortable expression, and said, “I’m SO sorry about him.” Then she glanced at Jacob and said, “Good luck, Jake.” 

She tugged on his arm, and he stood up. Much taller than I was expecting, he grabbed his drink before walking away. 

“But Bird, she called him Daniel!”

“I’m very sorry, but can’t you see the professional pants she’s wearing? She’s IMPORTANT, Sam!”

“Why would I look at her pants?” 

“Just leave them alone!”

I quickly shake my head, trying to remember where I was in the original conversation before things got… weird. 

“Anyway,” I start, “You only have the two boys and yourself as employees, so if she is also bartending, you need to get her paperwork filled out. Otherwise, then you’re also violating payroll.” I’m watching him process everything I’ve told him, his eyes finally looking to meet mine. I can see the anxiety on his face. His eyes look so sad. 

“Um,” I turn to the small man beside me, “Do you mind giving us a minute?” 

“Absolutely. I’m Josh, by the way,” he reaches his hand out to shake mine, 

“Nice to meet you, Josh. I’m Charlotte.” I firmly shake his hand before he prances away to the booth where Sam, the girl who stole him away, and someone else is sitting. 

“I’m sorry about them, or well, all of this?” Jacob finally said, “I definitely didn’t realize that I hadn’t finished things. I double-checked even before submitting it. I really had no idea. This is the first business I’ve ever run, and I’m doing it alone, basically.” His voice is still riddled with panic, and it sounds like he’s trying to make sense of it in his head. 

I pull out a barstool, set the folder on the bar, and make myself comfortable in the seat. Trying to make myself seem less intimidating has always been funny to me, being a more petite girl. 

“I know you’re working, but the least I can do is offer you a drink,” he says, grabbing a glass from behind him and gently shaking it to get my approval.

“Well, thank you. Whatever is easiest for you, I appreciate it.” I start looking through the folder for what I need, realizing I don’t have everything. I can just email it to him. He seems nervous. I’m sure he’ll panic to get everything in order.  

“Wine? Beer?” 

“Actually, if you have bourbon, that would be fine.” 

I watch his eyes go from sad to almost excited. His emotions are evident on his face right now. The corners of his mouth slowly turn into a little smirk, letting out a laugh of disbelief. 

“That’s my kinda girl,” he says, turning around to grab a bottle from the shelf. 

Is it warm in here? Did he just- You’re working, Charlotte, get a grip. 

He sets the glass of amber liquid in front of me, still smiling to himself. 

“Okay, so is there anything else I messed up?” 

“Not to make things worse, but is she certified?” 

His eyes shut as his head drops back; I see his chest rise slowly and then fall, “Oh, I’m sure she isn’t.” 

“Okay, um, so that’s not as important. Let’s just get you situated with this stuff first?” Why are we being nicer to him? He’s clearly behind on everything; just let him have it.  

“Yeah, whatever I need to do. I really am sorry I didn’t do this before.” 

I’m literally ruining this guy’s entire day. Which is his fault. Well, yes, but he feels so bad about it. I’m more used to having owners storm off, not talk to me, or the opposite, yell directly into my face about it. Also, to be fair, I’m not used to bar owners being close in age to me. I’m definitely more accustomed to older gentlemen who would rather risk tax evasion than get their employees on an actual payroll. 

“It’s okay, Jacob,” I look back at him, setting the papers on the bar for him, “Honestly.” 

His eyes look back and forth between mine like he’s trying to decide if I’m lying. The only thing I’d be lying about is that he is kind of cute. Charlotte, you’re here to do your job and leave. Yes,  but he’s been very receptive and isn’t trying to degrade me for doing my job. Plus, his smile is pretty. 

‘Nice smile’

I take a sip of my drink and then surprise myself. 

“How about I leave all of this with you and come back in a few days to grab it? I’ll be in town for a little bit, and I don’t want to overwhelm you more than I already have.” Okay Charlotte? 

“That would be perfect,” he breathes a sigh of relief, “I can absolutely get everything sorted out. Thank you so much.” His voice is back to a more stable sound, and the anxiety seemingly has subsided. 

The door chime sounds off, causing him to glance over as a handful of people come in. I grab my phone from my bag, tapping the screen to reveal 6:07 p.m. Ah, everybody’s out of work. I watch as he looks back at the girl behind the bar, back at the customers, and then at me. 

“Mel,” he addresses her. Can you just find out what they want, and I’ll take care of it?” She salutes as she drops what she’s doing, mumbling, “Yes, Sir,” as she passes him. His eyes roll slightly at the comment, turning back to me. “I can have Josh clock in if you need me still.”

“No, you’re fine. I’m just going to finish doing some work, and this,” I tap my glass lightly, letting a small smile slip through. His face softens a bit at the gesture. 

“Okay, well, please just stop me if you need anything.” 

I scroll through my emails, continuing to make little notes for myself. This bar has been interesting so far, but, the longer I sit here, the more things continue to happen. I’ve just been trying to take in everything while I’m here. Places like this are few and far between. 

I look up from my phone to see Jacob fiddling with his hair, pulling the hair tie out slowly and sliding it down onto his wrist. He ran his fingers through his ends to loosely comb it out and then wrapped it back up into another little bun. His hair is so long? Also, it’s fun to watch a man pull out his baby hair. I didn’t think they knew about that.  

He flips the sink on, rolling his sleeves up slightly so they sit just above his elbows. I don’t mean to stare at him while he’s doing menial things, but something is holding my attention while he washes his hands that I can’t figure out.  

I try to focus on anything else, turning to see Josh walking up to Daniel with his hand held out. I can’t make out what they’re saying to each other, but Daniel grabs his hand and kisses his knuckles quickly, releasing Josh back into the chaos of the bar. Wait- so.. Who is actually with Daniel? 

A notification pops up on my phone, and it’s an email from my boss. 

‘Charlotte,

Again, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going to be out for a few days. How much time off do you want again? I know we just talked about this. Anyway, I hope everything goes smoothly with the Caravel Tavern. It’s a new business, so it would be a shame to see it go under quickly. I know you’ll give them hell, though.’

It’s a bit disheartening to see that the entire reason I was even coming to Portland has been dismissed, but I guess that’s just business for you. Not that I was necessarily excited to be here for a few days and not work, but at least be mindful of the reason. I offered to stop by to take care of this since I would be in the area, and maybe that should have been my sign that he didn’t care about whatever else I would be doing. 

“You okay over there, Red?” his small, raspy voice somehow cut through the chatter of the bar. I look up to find him opening a beer for someone and setting it on their napkin, his smile fully displayed for them. 

Taking a little sip of my drink, slowly becoming water with a hint of bourbon, I nod once. 

“You really run a tight ship around here, huh?” I say as he walks back over to me. Something in that moment shifts; I don’t know what it is. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, like the subtle compliment caught him truly off guard. I can’t read what emotion he’s feeling, but his eyes are conveying something different. 

“Uh, I do my best,” he finally choked out, “I probably drive them all crazy, but we’re still afloat, so something must be working.” 

Mel laughs as she’s drying glasses behind him, “You’re definitely something.” 

He slowly blinks with a tight smile at her comment, with a quick shake of his head. I lift my glass to my lips, taking the last bearable sip before it’s quite literally just water. 

“I think I’m going to head out,” I tell him, gathering the paperwork he needs, “I’ll leave this with you; if you can please try to get it done in the next couple of days, that would be great.” He just nods at my request. 

“Also, I didn’t have the physical paperwork on me to get Mel on your payroll but I can email the forms to you if that works?” 

“I will do whatever is easiest.” 

I’m still not used to someone cooperating as easily as he has. I came in too prepared for him to be an ass about everything, on top of surprising him with more issues. I’m grateful he isn’t making this more complicated than it needs to be. 

I fold the blank sheet, hide my notes about his brothers, and slide them to him with a pen.

“Here, can you write down your email and phone number for me?” I ask quietly.

“Trying to get my number already? We just met.” He smirks at me as I cringe internally. 

I just stare at him for a second too long, not able to come up with any sort of response to that. 

The silence is deafening between us as his cheeks flush, his eyes darting down to the paper. He swiftly grabs the pen, scribbling down his information for me, writing his name above them, ‘Jake,’ as if I would forget. 

He clears his throat before speaking, “Well, I need to, uh, go work on this, so,” his embarrassment slowly taking him over, “Drive safe, and I will see you, um, soon. Sorry about.. Everything today?” 

I choke back the laugh threatening to escape me, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than he’s made himself. But it was kind of cute watching him shove his foot in his mouth.  I tuck the paper into my bag, grabbing my things as I stand up from the barstool. 

“Oh,” I speak up, “how much do I owe you?” tapping the rim of my glass. 

He leans over, grabbing the glass with a slight smile on his flushed face, “I think you earned it; it’s on me.” 

“Well, thank you. Have a good night, Jacob. I’ll see you in a few days.” 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I hadn’t been to our lake house in a while—years, probably. We used to spend weeks at a time visiting the lake and spending time on the water. As I got older, so did my parents, we slowly stopped frequenting, but they would never get rid of it. I’ve spent countless hours convincing them to rent it out as an Airbnb, but they refuse. 

The roads are a little daunting at night, with so many sharp turns and practically no street lights. I suppose I should be used to living so far north, but I know that area well. I’ve never really had to drive myself around here; I was always in the backseat for this drive.

Pulling into our dirt driveway, there she is. Our sweet little house absolutely has seen better days, but that’s okay. It feels enough like home to make the next couple of days bearable.  I had been dreading this week, but even seeing the outside, in the dark no less, has made me feel a bit of relief. 

Walking through the mud room and into our kitchen, it smells like a basement. It’s apparent that none of us have visited in a while, and to be fair, it’s October at this point. It’s probably for the best that I’m here for a few days so I can clean things up, and then maybe, next time my parents come, it won’t seem as… musty. It will also distract me from my own brain. 

We do tend to get the better of you. Speak for yourself.

I toss my bags onto my old bed, unable to remember the last time I slept there. I finally sit, letting out a long sigh. Closing my eyes, I let my head drop back, letting the muscles stretch for a moment.  The sadness building up and threatening to escape, I grab my laptop from my bag; I need to be doing something. 

‘Hi,

Sorry for the late response. I stopped by the bar today. They had a lot going on, so I left the paperwork with him to fill out, and I’ll stop back there to grab it before coming home. He seemed eager to get everything done; he’s much younger than I think either of us anticipated. 

As for days off, I think at least this week, and then I’ll be good to go.’ 

I’m not particularly good at giving myself days off, but I love my job, so why would I not work? Also, I rarely have to really connect with people, so it makes it easier to just zone out and get my work done. It’s not often that we have to hound people for their paperwork, and even when we do, it’s usually for the new employees to do. It builds character, I guess. Having grown adults scream at you definitely gives you thick skin. 

Reaching down, I pull the folded paper out of my bag. Typing his email into the To: bar, attaching the documents he needs. 

‘Thank you for being so flexible about this. - Charlotte’ 

I added a subject line, ‘New Employee Payroll Forms’, and double-checked that everything was there. I hit send. Perfect, everything is done. 

Charlotte: Hi Jacob, sorry for the late text- I just sent over those forms to your email. If you can get those done ASAP, that would be wonderful. If you need assistance with anything, feel free to reach out. - Charlotte. 

Feel free to reach out? Why are you offering the opportunity for him to text you? It’s literally the least we can do; you saw how overwhelmed he was. 

I can see the way his face drained of color when I clocked Mel behind the bar. The way he stumbled over his words, his hand finding comfort on the back of his neck, probably to prevent from fidgeting endlessly. He definitely didn’t realize he had messed up. I don’t know why you feel bad, this happens to you all the time. 

I set my laptop on my nightstand and plug in my phone. Everything is done, so now I can just do what I need to. I take the time to make something small to eat and shower, killing just enough time and relaxing enough to where I’m about to sleep. I crawl into bed, pulling my hair up into a bun on the top of my head before snuggling in. 

I reach out to grab my phone and set an alarm for tomorrow morning. I opened my messages just to make sure I hadn’t missed anything or forgotten to reply to anybody. 

Unknown Number: oh don’t apologize. Thank you for being patient with me, i really appreciate it.

I tap on the number at the top, saving the number, ‘Jacob’. I lock my phone, placing it back on my nightstand. Staring up at the ceiling, I attempt to fall asleep. Replaying thoughts of her in my mind, I feel a slight prick in my eyes. Finally, I succumbed to the feeling. I’m not ready.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter One

Chapter Three

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[anika-ann]

To Make You Smile (S.R.)

(Attached: To Make You Smile)

Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series or a standalone

Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 6100

Summary: “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.”

Steve is sulking and you don’t know why. Instead of pressuring him into telling you, you do him one better. You give your best effort to make him smile. And keep your fingers crossed that his mood has nothing to do with the wedding on horizon.

Alternatively, the three times you made Steve smile and the one time you and him did it for each other.

A/N: Can be read as a standalone. Part of the Attached ‘verse with professor!Steve.

A/N: For @pagesoflauren​ writing challenge. Prompt bold in the text. I suppose one more prompt is the theme of this fic o:)

Warnings: 18+ for heavily implied smut (nothing too graphic), endearment ‘babygirl’ (no daddy kink), mention of the reader being called a whore in the past, long-term professor-student relationship, implied unspecified age gap, language, Steve being a drama queen, tooth-rotting fluff

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

1.

Steve was, for the lack of a better work, brooding.

Now that wasn’t entirely new – he could get like that sometimes, too lost in his thoughts, too buried in his work to stay perceptive to happier sides of life, especially in the final weeks of the academic year – but there was something different about this.

He was moping for four days straight.

You didn’t mind, per se, it was how he was; however, you hated seeing Steve sad. Whatever was eating him up, you would love to help if only he had told you about it – but you didn’t pressure him.

The first time you noticed it, when he had come home from school, you simply asked if he wanted to talk about it. A slightly panicked expression crossed over his face, but he shook his head, hugged you from behind, kissed the top of your head and left you to your studying.

You gave him the space you believed he needed, hoping – knowing – that eventually, he’d come around and either solve it himself or ask your opinion, your advice, your compassionate ramble.

In the meantime, you decided not to give in to your own sombre thoughts. Not quite succeeding, you had attempted to busy yourself with a very important mission having started two days ago.

Instead of forcing Steve to open up you came up with a much more creative activity. You were trying to simply bring a smile to his face, even if for a moment.

On your typical Tuesday evening after your gym session, you stood under the spray of hot water in your shower when the thought occurred. Grinning to yourself, you started humming and then begun to slowly raise volume, knowing all too well Steve was about to enter the bathroom any minute.

“There's something in the way I wanna cry that makes me think we'll make it out alive. So come on and show me how we're good, I think that we could do some good, mhm…” you sang under your breath, having to stop yourself from swaying in the rhythm.

You didn’t want to slip in a shower after all, a concussion wouldn’t help your case.

You heard Steve enter, smiling to yourself, grateful for the curtain hiding you from sight.

The first time Steve had caught you singing in the shower (he had just given you a mind-blowing O and you were generally too happy not to let the giddiness out), you thought you were gonna beg the floor to swallow you. But instead of mocking you, he had grinned like a madman when he heard, encouraging you to continue, climbing to the shower with you, humming the melody into your ear until you lost your breath to the feeling of his wandering hands and mouth, ending up seeing stars again.

It was when you had learned that no matter how off key you got sometimes, Steve loved when you sang to yourself, his eyes always crinkling happily for you. He was that sweet.

You wondered if he’d join you now, with the singing maybe or in the shower.

“Walk me home in the dead of night, I can't be alone with all that's on my mind. So say you'll stay with me tonight, 'cause there is so much wrong going on outside…”

Much to your grief, Steve didn’t acknowledge you at all – and suddenly, the curtain felt like an enemy, obscuring him from your view. When he left as you finished the song, taking care not to falter, you were left wondering if a smile passed his lips.

You ate in silence that night; however, you could tell he was being more physically affectionate than before hearing you sing, so you counted that as a win.

As you went to bed later, his arm curled around your middle; with his lips on your nape, you felt his mouth curl up minutely.

“I’ll walk you home whenever you ask, sweetheart,” he muttered, the slightest note of humour lacing his otherwise melancholic voice. “I’ll always try my best not to leave you alone when you feel down.”

The corners of your own lips rose as you moved further into his chest, humming contentedly.

“I know, Stevie. But it goes both ways, you know?” you whispered, his chest expanding with a deep inhale.

“I do, my love. I do.”

“Save the ‘I do’ for when we’re down the aisle…” you teased lightly.

Immediately, you could tell that it was a wrong thing to say. The words made his whole body stiffen, nearly sending you into a cardiac arrest.

Oh god, oh god.

You imagined getting hit by a bus felt about as brutal as it did by the realization hitting you now, tears burning in your eyes.

He was brooding and didn’t want to talk to you about it, because he was getting cold feet, wasn’t he?

He didn’t want to marry you!

Steve’s hand moved to your chest, feeling your frantic heartbeat, a low chuckle vibrating against your back.

“I am not getting cold feet, sweetheart,” he assured you. Did you say it out loud?! And wait… he didn’t? Really didn’t? Really really? Oh thank- “God, why would I? You’re the best damn thing that ever happened to me.”

Squirming in his embrace, you struggled to roll over until you faced him. His eyes were tired as was the tinniest of smiles on his lips and your heart gradually slowed down, warmth replacing the panic.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me too. I love you, Stevie. So much.”

Eyes sparkling in the dark, emotion behind them unreadable besides the shadow of gloom, Steve leaned in to capture your lips, a delicate kiss full of words unspoken as his fingers slid to your jaw, thumb caressing your cheek.

When he withdrew, all you could do was to stare at him in wonder.

He wasn’t getting cold feet. What was happening then? Was it just one of those days when one felt gloomy without any reason? You knew these too…

Steve’s thumb swept over your lower lip, gentle, teasing, his eyes full of affection.

“You’re so beautiful, babygirl. So damn pretty.”

Your lips parted on instinct, no words coming out. You just watched him, puzzled, unable to form one coherent thought. A lump grew in your throat, but you fought it off. He was not getting cold feet, that was what mattered.

Was it work? Was it money? Was it… was he sick or something? Was it just a troubled student approaching him whom he didn’t know how to help and he tortured himself over it?

“I don’t-“ understand, you wanted to say, but Steve kissed you again before you could finish, drinking from your lips reverently, savouring every second as if he was tasting ambrosia offered by the gods themselves. You lost your train of thought.

Your fingers found purchase of his hair, gently carding through the locks and another thought hit you… was it the single silver hair you had found the other day and didn’t even tell him about? Because if it was, he was freaking out for nothing-

His tongue slipped past the seam of your lips and you gave in, letting him roll you over to your back and hover over you, warm and solid unlike your scattered thoughts.

And just before you helped each other rid of your clothes, you wondered if it was the same for him.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

2.

They said the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. The more cynical version mentioned something about the fourth and fifth rib, the dirtier one definitely mentioned a mouth, but not his, and did not involve cooking.

But knowing Steve for as long as you did and wanting to make him smile, you opted for the good old advice.

Wednesday afternoon found you in the kitchen, ’feel good’ playlist featuring 80s, 90s and contemporary music blasting from your phone, hips swaying as you mouthed the lyrics, hands sticky with chocolate chip cookie dough.

It was how Steve found you too.

What more, you caught him leaning onto the doorframe, watching you, teeth no doubt chewing his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh. There was a sparkle in his eye as you happened to turn around and nearly screamed bloody murder because you hadn’t heard him enter.

Your first reaction was to jump ten feet above the floor and grasp at your chest in fright, feeling your heart pounding like mad.

Too bad your hand was still dirty.

Steve couldn’t hold the grin back anymore, making his way first to the phone to tune the music down a fraction as you unstuck your hand, glaring at the print at your front.

“This is completely your fault, you know,” you scolded him lightly, snorting at yourself when you saw just how much damage you had done.

“I’m no expert, babygirl, but I’m pretty sure the dough goes on the tray, not the baker-“

Putting your hands on your hips – mindful to only touch the already dirty t-shirt – you took a step back from him before he could touch you, the cheeky bastard.

“Oh, you got jokes now,” you feigned irritation despite feeling like squealing in delight when you saw Steve lightened up.

“I do,” he confirmed, a bit sheepish, erasing the distance between you two as you kept walking back until your butt hit the counter.

“Well, mister, these were supposed to be for you, but seeing as you’re being a smartass, you’ll be lucky if you get to taste one-“

His expression fell in an instant and you wanted to smack yourself – because there was no playful pout to his lips. He seemed genuinely upset.

“I’m sorry, babygirl. I didn’t mean to-”

“No, wait! I-“

“You’re being sweet and caring, trying to cheer me up and I’m being mean,” he sighed, not letting you finish what you were saying either and your chest tightened. What was going on?

Bouncing off the counter, you reached out to cup his face, only to grimace and quickly retrieve your hands before you could smear his cheeks and beard with the remnants of chocolate.

On a second thought… you grinned up at him as your index finger drew a line down his nose, shocked chuckle erupting from his throat.

“You did not just do that-“

“Oh, I did,” you retorted cheekily, smirking, reaching out for his cheekbone this time – his hand was quick to lock around your wrist, glaring a warning at you. “I think we’re almost even now, just one more-“

“One more what, babygirl?” he asked, voice huskier than just a second ago, causing heat to rise to your cheeks and to pool in your belly. Gosh you were so easy…

You licked your lips, fighting the sudden surge of arousal as your eyes flickered to his lips. He mirrored your movements, leaning in, gradually erasing the distance and you braced yourself…

He caught your left hand about to touch his cheeks just as easily as the right one, gaze never leaving your face and you cursed at his quick reflexes, much to his amusement.

His eyebrow rose playfully before he pecked your lips.

“Nice try. Naughty intentions,” he hummed and having your hands freed was the only warning you got before he literally swept you off your feet, causing you to yelp in fright and grasp at his shoulders, staining his shirt as well.

“Steeeeve! What are you-“

His mouth landed on your ear as he brought you higher, his whisper more urgent than you’d expect.

“I love you. So. Damn. Much. You know that, right?”

He didn’t give a you a chance to answer, sealing your lips with his as soon as you looked up at him.

Your head spun from the lack of oxygen and Steve mood swings, but you couldn’t find words when he released your lips only to rest his forehead against yours, his tongue running over his lips to savour the taste of your chocolate kiss.

You might have sampled the dough a bit earlier. Like a cheater.

“Like I said. Sweet,” Steve muttered, nose caressing yours, reluctantly setting you down, palms lingering on your waist.

You gazed up at him, once again confused by his demeanour, cheery songs still playing in the background like your own personal soundtrack.

Oh don't you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me I said you're holding back She said shut up and dance with me This woman is my destiny She said oh oh oh Shut up and dance with me

“I’d tell you to shut up and dance with me, but the first tray of cookies would burn,” you muttered nonsensically. A small lopsided smile passed Steve’s lips as he smoothed your dirty and wrinkly t-shirt at your waist.

“Next time then,” he uttered, kissing your forehead before walking out of the room to change, your belated ‘I love you too’ barely reaching him.

You’d swear you heard him mutter under his breath as he was leaving, but it was probably just your imagination.

“Kinda wish destiny was always this kind to me.”

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3.

Thursday afternoon, you almost took a sick day at work, thinking you’d promise to come on Friday instead to make up for it. That was just how much you wanted to solve whatever was on Steve’s mind just right now – but the more responsible side of you told you that you were being ridiculous and should you get Steve to open up in the afternoon, you could as well do it on Thursday evening.

That, however, backfired, because just before you were leaving work, a text from Steve chimed on your phone.

Sweetheart, would you mind if I went out with Buck for a few drinks tonight? :)

Frowning, you read over the words, torn between happy and disappointed. You did mind in fact, having hoped you’d finally talk about what was bothering him. Then again, perhaps it was something he didn’t want to talk about with you.

And as much as that made you feel dejected, the idea of Steve confiding his best friend was appealing, especially considering the blow their friendship had suffered when Bucky’s double life came to light.

With a sigh, you typed out a cheery reply, imagining your lonely night ahead.

Sure, Stevie. Have fun… but don’t forget it’s workday tmr :-*

He replied instantly and his words had your slight irritation disappear, a smile replacing the frown on your face.

Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry, you’ll have me home by 10. Love you <3

Yeah. Perhaps a night out with was exactly what the doctor ordered to chase away the cloud that had been following Steve. How could you be pissed when frankly all you wanted was to make this sweet man smile?

I love you too.

And almost as Steve promised, he was home by 10:15. His cheeks were a little flushed and he was even more touchy-feely than usual, but his lips were sealed, no wide smile in sight.

“Did you have a good time?” you asked meekly, turning down the soft music you used as a background noise for writing.

He gingerly took your laptop from your thighs and placed it on the table, curling by your side on the couch, head laying in your lap.

Instinctively, your hands found his locks, noting the three silver hairs with a small bite to your lips. It was cute – much like his pout you lost the sight of as he hid his face against your belly.

“Uh-huh,” he hummed noncommittally to your shirt – which happened to be his –, arm wrapping around your waist.

You gulped, both revelling in Steve’s warmth and having your mind racing. That didn’t sound too enthusiastic nor relieved.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know?” you whispered, fingers lacing through his hair, gentle as the lyrics barely reaching your ears.

On the walls of the day In the shade of the sun We wrote down Another vision of us We were the challengers of The unknown

"Be safe" you say Whatever the mess you are, you're mine, okay If that is the custom I'm down

Steve stiffened, shoulders tensing before he withdrew only enough to meet your gaze. The softness in his eyes shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. You’d never get over the fact that you were lucky enough to have him in your life, in your bed, in your everything.

Because… you had him, right? Whatever was bothering him, it couldn’t have been that he… slipped or something. Cheated on you. The mere idea made your eyes prickle, but you blinked the sensation away before Steve could notice.

It was absurd. Steve would never.

“I know. Tomorrow? I just… really want to hold you tonight?”

How could you say not to that?

A smile so wide it threatened to tear your mouth spread on your lips as you planted a kiss to Steve’s forehead, causing his eyelids to flutter shut.

“Of course, you giant softie. But…” You made a pregnant pause, hand roaming his shoulder, down his chest to his waist, lightly tickling over his shirt. He jerked a bit in response, mouth falling open in shock – but it was totally worth the spark appearing in his eyes as he snapped them open. “I can’t promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“That’s a dangerous game, you know. I know all your sensitive spots too.”

You smirked at the innuendo, knowing all too well from his demeanour that that wasn’t on the table tonight. Still, you couldn’t resist, your hand slipping under the fabric to tease bare skin as your lips grazed his ear.

“Don’t I know it, Stevie. Don’t I know it. It’s one of the reasons I said yes.”

He gasped, scandalized, but you didn’t miss the flash of something resembling panic in his expression. Mentally, you took note of how he reacted that way twice now to the mention the wedding. Which did not freak you out in the slightest, nope.

Why would it, right? After all, he had said it hadn’t been a case of cold feet.

“Rude. Here I thought you wanted me for my body and my dazzling sense of humour,” he joked and so you played along, chuckling – because both of those certainly were valid reasons for which you had fell head over heels for Steve.

“Well, those are just pleasant bonuses, aren’t they… you know I love you for so many things… the rest I just tolerate.”

You let him stroke your hipbone as his gaze got absent for a moment.

“Even me being a drama queen?”

At that, you felt your eyebrows jump in surprise, laughter erupting from your throat before you could stop it.

With the laughter, an enormous weight fell from your shoulders. Perhaps whatever Steve was moping about was small and he indeed was being exactly that: a drama queen. But hey – just because a problem felt small for one person, it didn’t mean that it couldn’t feel giant to another, especially when in certain headspace.

“Is that what Bucky told you when you went out?” you guessed, Steve’s nod and burning cheeks enough of a confirmation. “Well. Maybe you can be one sometimes, but that’s fairly rich coming from him, so…”

“That’s what I said.”

Grinning, you framed his face with your palms, pressing a firm kiss on his lips.

“Not surprising. You’re one smart drama queen, Steve Rogers,” you said as you retreated, urging Steve to get up. “Now come on. Let’s go to bed. Tomorrow is workday after all.”

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+1

Friday was the day; you were certain of it, mostly because if you didn’t get Steve tell you what was up, you’d lose your mind.

Surprisingly enough, the mere conviction had your frantic mind calm down a bit, enough so you were able to focus intensely on studying for your Wednesday exam, which was a subject of a freak-out on its own.

Doctor Abraham Erskine was a well-respected kind man with an endearing German accent. He led the hardest classes of the history department. When you had mentioned to Steve that you were considering taking one of those, he nearly smothered you with enthusiasm as he himself remembered his student days with the man.

The good professor was indeed kind enough and surprisingly understanding of his students’ needs, but the fables of how taxing his classes were weren’t exaggerated. He gave you all the opportunity to pass his exam early so you could later on focus on other subjects, but not that, nor the fact that he was teaching about your favourite period of history, exactly made the volume of what you had to learn to pass any smaller.

You dove into the books and notes as soon as you came home, surprised when you heard Steve’s keys jiggle in the lock in what felt like an hour later.

You checked your watch with your eyes wide, finding that an hour was a very rough estimate since three and half had already passed. You reached for the barely touched glass of water on your desk to down it before rising to greet Steve.

“Hey sweetheart,” he spoke softly with a faint curl to his lips as he entered the space, placing his bag by the wall, while one of his hands remained behind his back, piquing your curiosity.

You couldn’t but smile and raise an eyebrow, your heart fluttering. What could he be hiding? Was it too presumptuous to think it was a gift for you of some sorts?

“Hey Stevie. Whatcha got there?” you asked, trying to peek behind his shoulder.

Steve skilfully obscured the item from you view and smiled a little wider – an expression you missed dearly, even if the smile still didn’t quite reach his eyes – narrowing his gaze and appearing to think hard.

“…a smoothie?”

You burst out laughing, pleasantly surprised at the witty and yet ridiculous answer. It felt good to have your Steve back.

“Wow, Steve. Wow,” you chuckled as you approached him, too stunned momentarily to try to see what he was hiding. “Look at you, Professor Rogers, keeping up with the times.”

He shrugged, uttering ‘I try’ and finally revealing a small bouquet that had your shoulders slump with a gasp of awe.

It was quite a lovely arrangement – no doubt made by a professional, but composed of field flowers, dominated by cornflowers, corn poppies and daisies. Your lips parted in awe as your ribcage felt too small all of sudden; the simplicity of the arrangement only seemed to accent the sincerity of the gesture.

And the gesture had one single goal, you assumed.

To make you smile.

The mission was accomplished as Steve held out the bouquet almost shyly, like a little boy offering a hand-made gift to his first crush, kissing your cheek just as reluctantly.

You leaned into the affection gratefully, your no doubt sparkling eyes meeting Steve’s, still clouded with a shade of sadness as you accepted the flowers and wrapped one hand around his waist.

“This is beautiful, Steve. Thank you. You didn’t have to…” you whispered. You nuzzled into his chest, careful not to crumble the beauty in your hand. “But thank you. They’re so sweet.”

He rested his cheek on the top of your head, pressing a gentle kiss to your hair, soft contrast to the scratch of his beard you grew accustomed to.

“They reminded me of you. Sometimes overlooked little gems, but so pretty if you pay attention. So precious that one look at them makes you feel like everything is going to be alright.”

You grinned into Steve’s shirt, warmth spreading in your chest. Some might find his words corny, but you knew that even if they were, they came from heart. That precious thing making Steve Steve, heart and soul matching the gorgeous exterior.

From his demeanour, you could also tell that whatever had been happening with him was slowly making its depart and wasn’t all that serious in the first place.

Brushing your lips over where you could feel his heart, you reluctantly untangled from his embrace, laying the bouquet at the nearest horizontal surface as not to disturb the intimate atmosphere by leaving him standing there.

“Alright, Steve. Are you gonna tell me what’s been bothering you now?” you pressed, mindful to keep your impatience in check.

Whatever remnant of happiness there was got wiped of his face in an instant, causing your expression to fall too.

“I know they are a lame apology, but they are part of one nonetheless,” he sighed, beckoning to the flowers lightly.

“Apology for what?”

You searched his face for answers and his shoulders sagged before he took a deep breath and blurted it all at once.

“Fury passed me an invitation I can’t really say no to for a conference in Atlanta and the conference is taking place next Thursday and Friday.”

You blinked at the rapid fire of words, your brain slow to process. Being invited to a conference sounded like good news – lord knew Steve deserved all the recognition for his academic work he could get seeing as he was a bit of a hidden little gem himself. So why-

Oh. Oh.

“The cake tasting,” was all you said, realization finally dawning to you.

Between schoolwork, your part-time job and Steve’s sulking, it slipped through your mind at first.

Having decided you didn’t need a huge wedding, saving both money and your nerves, you and Steve agreed on a small ceremony which Tony generously offered you his garden for. A dress was still a question, because you did want to look like a princess without having to spend fortune on it, but the cake… you and Steve thought that if there was one thing you wanted to get freaky and cliché with besides the rings, it was the cake, as silly as it sounded.

You had an appointment next Friday after you were both finished with school and work – and now he couldn’t make it.

As your mind raced and you couldn’t bring yourself to say a word, you watched Steve’s expression turn into one of anxiety and regret since he couldn’t see the biggest weight falling from your shoulders.

It was just cake tasting, thank God. You had been worried for nothing.

“I’m so sorry, babygirl. I tried to say no-“ he said hastily, snapping you from your trance.

“Why would you do that?!” you blurted out, voice an octave higher than usual due to utter shock.

Because honestly, why would he do that, now that someone finally saw how smart he was?!

“Well, because the dates collide and I-“

Oh Steve, you loveable, loveable dummy.

“Oh my god, Steve… I’m so glad Director Fury wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Slightly baffled expression crossed over his face as he saw you put your hands on your hips, the corners of your lips twitching.

You loved Steve, you truly did. He was a brilliant man and very kind and thoughtful, a case on point right in front of you, but he could be the goofiest at times. It was one of the reasons why you adored him as much as he frustrated you right now.

“But I can’t make it to the appointment now,” he nearly whined, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek.

And to think you wondered whether he was getting cold feet and considered leaving you, because his moping was connected to your wedding…

Recalling all the times you tried to make him smile, the words Bucky told him echoed in your ears – and you had to agree with the man. Steve truly was a drama queen. You pressed your lips together, swallowing hard before you could slip and tell him so.

“And that’s the only thing that’s been bothering you?” you asked lowly, intently observing his face just in case.

His expression morphed into a perfect case of a puppy that had been kicked.

“I just hate making you sad.”

Despite yourself, you chuckled, the relief finally finding its way out. Crossing the distance to him in two long strides, your hands took hold of his cheeks, the tickle of his whiskers only making you smile wider.

“Well, that’s really sweet, my love, but you’ve been sulking for days. You could have just told me, Stevie.”

Eyes slipping shut as basked in your affection and dare to say forgiveness, one corners of Steve’s lips rose a bit.

“…it was a vicious circle,” he explained softly, meeting your gaze, nothing but honesty in his eyes. “I knew you were excited for it and you deserve it after the hard exam you have on Wednesday. I knew I’d have to cancel… and you were trying so hard to put a smile on my face and I knew I was gonna wipe yours away which is just so unfair-“

You thought your heart might as well explode with adoration for your goofy man.

“Oh my God, Steve. You idiot gigantic softie.”

He didn’t even seem offended at the name you called him, his gaze only growing guiltier with a side of fury.

“I’m sorry. I really am, for not being able to make it. I’m pretty sure Fury hates me. I’m telling you… he ruined my first proposal plan and now he somehow found out about us going cake tasting and told them to invite me to Atlanta out of spite,” he complained, causing your lips to twitch in amusement.

You shook your head, planting a quick kiss to his lips he gratefully reciprocated.

Your hands slid lower to his broad shoulders and lower as you proceeded to pat his chest teasingly.

“Not completely true,” you protested. “I’m fairly certain that as the big spy boss, he at least played a part in us getting back together after all those papers about how I am a whore got plastered all over the school, so-“

“Don’t-“ he hissed, catching your wrist before you could retreat, grip firm yet gentle.

You looked at him, only slightly puzzled. Frankly, you didn’t mean to upset him, but there was no sugar-coating it.

Because it was what it had been – tens and tens of papers reciting a childish rhyme, calling you a whore for dating a professor and supposedly passing your exams without having to put in any effort.  Ha, you wished. Not really.

“What? It is what happened.”

“Yes, but don’t say that about yourself,” Steve pleaded, an edge of anger in his voice, likely directed to the author and not you. As if he wanted to confirm your thoughts, his thumb ran over your inner wrist, tender. “Just don’t, sweetheart.”

“You mean that I’m a wh-“

“Y/N.”

The glare he shot you had you shutting up, realizing that while you were mostly at peace with the event, he might not. You rarely spoke of it again after it happened – if ever.

“Sorry. It’s fine, really. It feels like something that happened a long time ago. Besides…” you raised a tentatively playful eyebrow. “I can get a bit whore-ish for you.”

Steve’s glare did not quite relent, but he couldn’t help the brief amused spark in his irises as he shook his head and sighed, releasing your hand, metaphorically leaving the subject.

You took the hint.

“Anyway. We’ll reschedule the cake thing. It’s not that big of a deal. And hey, while we’re at it… maybe I could go to Atlanta with you. You know, emotional support. And to keep an eye on the students and academics who’d want to get handsy with my hot ‘n smart professor.”

A wrinkle of concern formed between Steve’s brows as he thought about your suggestion.

“I’d love that, but I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me. I don’t want to steal your time for studying and to make you miss classes.”

“I do. Let’s do it,“ you replied cheerily, your enthusiasm about the idea growing by the minute.

Did it mean more stress about lack of time for exams? Yes.

But damn, if it meant you’d see the mighty Professor Rogers’ guest-lecture of sorts? You were so up for it you might as well literally jump with excitement.

“Sweetheart…” Steve coaxed you into reconsideration, but the smile fighting its way to his lips gave up how he quickly warmed up to the idea as well.

“Oh come on. I’ll miss what, a day of studying and two classes I can likely get notes for from Linda or someone? It’s not gonna kill me or my GPA. You cannot imagine how much I’d love to see you get the respect you deserve.”

As you watched Steve no doubt ponder about all pros and cons, you could tell which was winning. He seemed humbled by your genuine admiration and satisfaction at the thought of seeing others appreciate his work. You knew he was game, but he asked anyway, hesitant to believe.

“You’d really come?”

“Yeah, of course,” you chuckled. “Maybe we can squeeze in little bit of sightseeing too. I’d love to go to Atlanta with you.”

And there it was: heartfelt, bright, and warming the room and your body from inside out, the thing you were trying to accomplish for the past few days finally making appearance in all its glory.

“Theeeere it is, that gorgeous smile. Finally reaching your eyes. Finally lingering,” you commended, charmed by how Steve lowered his gaze as if you hadn’t complimented him thousand times before. The beard obscured his blush a bit, but it was definitely there. Precious gorgeous man. “I love you, Mr. Professor Rogers.”

His smile widened as he looked up, delicate fingers reaching for your chin to pull you in for a kiss.

“I love you so much,” he whispered before his soft lips connected to yours, barely leaving when he continued. “Future Mrs. Rogers is one hell of a woman.”

The flare of giddiness and arousal at the title was undeniable as it lit up every cell in your body. Judging by the insistent press of Steve’s lips against yours, hand wandering to your hip to keep you close and the smile you tasted in the kiss when a tiny whimper escaped you, you weren’t the only one affected.

He pushed until you were forced to take a few steps back, your back landing softly against a wall, shielded by one of his hands on your back.

You giggled when Steve stumbled over your feet, momentarily releasing you and giving you an opportunity to suck in some air. He grumbled, but his expression spoke of everything but annoyance.

“Oh, the smile is growing, I like it,” you teased, palms travelling down his chest to his belt to tug at it lightly, not missing that the smile was not the only thing that grew. “I bet I can make it even bigger if I try hard enough.”

His body trapped you against the wall; hands squeezed in between and momentarily incapacitated, Steve’s own gripped your hips.

“Tempting, but nah. I think I’m gonna do my own taste testing now.” He tugged at your leggings, intentions crystal clear, his lips falling to your neck, a graze of teeth causing a pool of slick dampening your panties. “And I bet there’s no treat that sweet in any cake place in the world.”

Flatterer. More than willingly, you tilted your head to side to give his hot mouth and the teasing scratch of his beard more space. The action didn’t go unrewarded, a content hum leaving Steve’s lips as he mouthed on your throat, fingers toying with the hem of your panties.

It was when your gaze, lids heavy with desire, fell on the bouquet still lying on the drawer and you cursed, muffled thud vibrating through your head as its back hit the wall in frustration.

“Dammit-- wait, the flowers-“ you gasped, stunning Steve into stillness. Something resembling a growl left his lips, frustrated, impatient.  

“Ugh. Fine. You have thirty seconds to put them into water.”

“Yes, sir,” you threw over your shoulder as he released you and you hurried to the kitchen, leggings half-on, flowers in shaky hands.

Steve trailed after you as you went to get a vase, his low timbre counting down under his breath. You barely set the full vase down by the time he reached zero, the last seconds having been counted suspiciously faster.

You yelped as he gripped your hips, spinning you around and nearly throwing you on the kitchen counter. Joy curled in your chest, desire burning in your belly, he finally yanked your leggings to your ankles. He urged you to help him with the last piece of fabric in his way and fell to his knees.

He licked his lips as he stared up at you biting your lip; content as ever, all trouble forgotten, his smile got a wicked edge that meant you were in for quite the night.  

“Now let’s see if I was right.”

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Attached masterlist

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Thank you for reading and for your potential feedback in advance🥰

Thanks to Lauren for letting me participate and for hosting the challenge! She deserves every follower she gets✨

If you’re interested in the song and lyrics used (in order of appearance): Walk Me Home (Pink) Shut Up and Dance (Walk the Moon) Challengers (The New Pornographers)… yes, I will always bother you with it. 

[aspoonofsugar]

Penny’s Final Word

Cinder might have had the final word of the volume and that is a meta for another time. Still, there is another character who got to have another important final word:

Penny: Let me choose this one thing.

Penny’s arc has always been about self-actualization and escaping objectification.

She was created to be a weapon and everything was decided for her by basically... everyone:

Both enemies and loved ones alike ended up choosing for her multiple times, so it is fitting that Penny herself is the one who has the last word about herself. She makes the final choice that decides how her life should end and what her legacy should be.

At the same time, Penny’s final choice and sacrifice perfectly tie together all the major themes explored in the Atlas arc.

This analysis will try to explore her arc and to show how it is central to everything the Atlas volumes wanted to convey.

PENNY AND HER FAIRIES

What makes a person a person and not something else?

This is a key question in Penny’s story and it can’t be answered without addressing who her Blue Fairy is.

Is it Fria?

Or Ambrosius?

The answer is neither and both. These two characters are definately references to the Blue Fairy, but they are not the ones who make Penny feel human. The one who does is ironically a red fairy:

You saw my soul Through the nuts and bolts You're the friend I can trust Helped me see I'm not just a machine

It is Ruby’s aknowledgement of Penny’s personhood that makes Penny feel alive.

So, what about Fria and Ambrosius? What is their role?

Fria chooses Penny as the next Winter Maiden. This is a powerful moment thematically because it is an aknowledgement of Penny’s humanity. She has always been a real girl, a Maiden at Heart, hence she can be given the powers and protect them.

Ambrosius removes Penny’s robotic parts and makes the “real” Penny come to the surface:

Ambrosius: Okay, but if I take the robot parts out of her, that would leave...

Blake: Penny. The girl who's always been there underneath it.

Penny’s new body is human because Penny has always been human and has always wanted to feel human.

In short, these two moments are moments of recognition of Penny’s humanity. She becomes a human both in soul (Fria) and body (Ambrosius). In particular, she has always had a human soul and this is why it can be tied to the power of the Maiden. When it comes to her body, she aquires a human one because her new appearance is nothing, but a mirror of her soul.

Still, even if these two moments are both meaningful, they are also moments where Penny receives something passively. They are aknowledgements of Penny’s humanity yes, but Penny wants more. She wants personhood aka to live as her own person.

To truly become a person one must be able to make their own choices. And interestingly, Penny’s free will is linked to both moments with her two blue fairies.

Ambrosius’s magic does not simply give Penny a human body, but it gives her back her freedom. Not only that, but it makes it impossible hacking her ever again.

Fria’s interaction with Penny is more complicated.

First of all, Fria does not impose the power on Penny, but asks her to make a choice:

Fria: Penny. Are you the one?

Penny: I…

And Penny does so in a sense, but it is gray. Penny is given no time to think about this choice, differently from both Winter and Pyrrha. It is something imposed on her by the events:

Penny: But taking the Maiden power was the only way to stop--

Moreover, it is something she very clearly does not want:

Penny: I was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that, and I wish I was not.

In short, Penny’s interaction with Fria is a recognition of her humanity, but also a duty imposed on her by external occurrences.

It is not what Penny herself wants. To truly be human, instead, Penny should make her own choices and be given the chance to pursue what she wants.

Still, what does she truly wishes for?

PENNY AND HER JIMINY CRICKETS

Penny’s wish is made obvious since her first appearance:

Penny: "You called me 'friend'! Am I really your friend?"

Ruby: "Uuuum... Y-Yeah, sure! Why not?"

My wish came true That day that you appeared And called me friend

She wants friends to the point that Ruby’s awkward aknowledgement of their friendship is enough to make Penny completely loyal to the other girl.

At the same time, there are many Jimini Crickets that go in the way of Penny’s wish for friendship:

Penny: I've never been to another kingdom before. My father asked me not to venture out too far, but... You have to understand, my father loves me very much; he just worries a lot.

(...)

Penny: I... was asked not to talk to you. Or Weiss. Or Blake. Or Yang. Anybody, really.

Ruby: Was your dad that upset?

Penny: No, it wasn't my father...

Both Ironwood’s high expectations and Pietro’s overprotectiveness make so that she is not free to enjoy her own life as she wants.

She arrives to the point that she comes up with a plan to stay at Beacon with her new friends:

Penny: Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I want to stay at Beacon.

Ruby: Penny, they'll never let you do that.

Penny: I know, but I have a plan.

However, we never discover what this plan is:

This does not happen by chance and Penny’s plan is not a dropped plot-point. It is symbolic of how her agency is completely negated. She is objectified to the point that her story is interrupted before she can take any action. It is a meta-way to comment her character and her major struggle.

Penny’s first death is more than a murder. It is a way to refuse Penny’s personhood and agency:

Ruby:  And Penny… was killed… just to make a statement.

She is used as a symbol of Atlas’s shady research. Penny’s own self is forgotten in the chaos that follows.

The same thing happens in Atlas as well:

Ruby: I don't think Robyn was their target. Salem's goal has always been to divide us. I think Penny was exactly where they wanted her, just like at the Vytal Festival.

This time she is not framed as a victim, but as a perpetrator and used as the symbol of an authoritarian regime.

Her enemies’ objectification of Penny is made clear in many ways:

Cinder: I have come too far to be stopped by some toy!

Cinder: You’re just a tool to be used!

Salem:  Although he remains in captivity, it seems that he has worked with Ironwood to gain some control over the puppet masquerading as the Winter Maiden.

And Watts’s virus is just the culmination of it. It is the embodyment of the Jiminy Cricket trying to overwrite what Penny wants.

At the same time, though, Penny’s enemies are not the only ones who try to control her:

Pietro: I lost you before. Are you asking me to go through that again? No. No. I want the chance to watch you live your life.

Penny: But dad… I am trying to.

Penny’s loved ones have tried to protect her all along. However, this wish of protection ends up going in the way of what she really wants:

I've been combat-ready since The day dad made me Now I'll fight for something more Might sound wholesome, But strangely I've got friends Fighting for

What Penny wants is to fight together and for her friends. She does not want her life to be considered less than others’. Still, she does not even want it to be put before others’:

Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you weren't built that way.

Penny: That is not…I choose to fight for people who care about me.

In short, it is as Maria says:

Maria: Don’t you think Penny has had enough people telling her what to do?

PENNY AND BEING A REAL GIRL

At its root, Penny’s struggle has always been this:

Penny: I feel like I wish I could do both the things I need to do and the things I want to do. Is that normal?

She wants to reconcile her duty and her personal wishes.

It is her duty to accept the power of the Maiden and to protect it.

It is her wish to live with her friends and to protect them.

These two things end up coming into conflict multiple times:

Penny: And after the launch, I’ll return to help you all with the evacuation.

Pietro: About that, Penny. When Amity goes up, I think you should be on it with Maria and I.

Penny: But they need me here. Right?

Ruby: Well, if you stay far out of Salem’s reach, then she can’t open the vault. She can’t get to the relic. So...

Weiss: Maybe it is for the best?

Until the finale where Penny makes a specific choice:

Weiss: Penny, no!

If Penny were to act as the perfect Maiden, she would have just gone to Vacuo with the staff. In this way she could have protected both the relic and the power. Even if Cinder had ended up killing all her friends, Salem would have still lost.

However, Penny decides not to act as a Maiden, but as a friend:

Penny: You wouldn’t know anything about friends.

Even the reason why Cinder manages to mortally wound her is because Penny is worried about Jaune and Weiss and gets distracted for a second:

However, it is specifically in the moment of her death that Penny is able to make a choice to reconcile both who she is and what she has to do.

She chooses to protect the power:

Penny: She can’t get the staff..and the power.

And to save a friend:

Penny: I thought of you. And here we are.

Winter would have died without the Maiden powers and the same can be said about the people stranded in Vacuo. Penny saves all by choosing to be the one in control of her death.

Her choice is extremely powerful thematically and it ties together all the themes explored in these last two volumes.

1) It is a choice about trust:

Penny: Trust me.

Winter: Thank you for trusting me with this.

Penny asks to be trusted and chooses to trust as well. After all, this is what friendship is all about:

Attached but not By strings

It is a choice that uses the motif of “the part of you” in two different ways.

2)  Becoming a part of someone else can be seen as a reference to the process of grieving, which is one of the themes explored in this volume:

Grieving means to come to terms with your loss, to accept your feelings for the people who are gone and also their contradictions:

Robyn: Clover was a lot of things. You respected him, but I gotta tell ya, I think you’re the better Huntsman.

Vine: Then perhaps Clover was wrong too.

The lost ones will be missed regardless:

Harriet: Don't you dare! Clover was... He was...

Vine: ...Important to you.

Still, once you manage to finally grieve, you’ll realize the other person has become a part of you:

It does not matter if Qrow’s semblance has evolved, if it is a part of Clover’s power having stayed attached to the pin, both or if it is Clover looking out for them.

What’s important is that Clover will keep on living inside Qrow because Qrow will never forget him or what Clover has taught him:

Clover: You shouldn't do that, you know.

Qrow: Don't worry, I-I gave that up.

Clover: I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.

Qrow should love himself. Only in this way he can stop being a self-fulfilling curse. Only in this way he can start looking at his own life with hope and wish for good luck.

Similarly, Penny won’t be forgotten and her legacy will live through Winter:

Penny: She's… gone.

Winter: No. She's a part of you now.

Penny: I won’t be gone, I’ll be part of you.

3) Penny becomes a part of Winter because Winter is finally able to do this:

Winter: But yes Penny, we must still acknowledge our personal feelings, wrestle with them. It ensures us that we're on the right path. It's what makes us human.

Winter is the one who taught Penny this, but it is obvious that through volume 7 and 8 she has avoided to face her feelings for both her family and Ironwood. By the end of volume 8, however, she is finally able to accept her emotions. She can finally follow her heart. Penny becoming “a part of her” is symbolic of this. As a matter of fact their dynamic has always been about Winter acting as “the mind” and Penny being “the heart”.

Symbolically they integrate because they both are becoming their own person even if in different ways.

Winter becomes her own person because she rejects this mentality:

Winter: Penny. The general is making hard choices so we don't have to.

Penny becomes her own person because she is finally in control of herself and her destiny. Moreover, she is able to do for Winter what Ruby has done for her:

Winter: No, Penny, you were always the real Maiden at heart. I was just a machine. Just… following orders.

Penny: You’re my friend.

She affirms Winter’s personhood and in this way she affirms her own as well.

In other words, this version of Pinocchio does not end with the protagonist being transformed into a real boy by the Blue Fairy, but with Penny transforming Winter in the Blue Fairy:

So “becoming fully human” in RWBY means to do this:

Qrow:  This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness. And that is how Humanity came to be.

It is about gaining knowledge, like Penny does about feelings and relationships, loving life and accepting death. Finally, it is about making a choice, even if it is painful.

This is because being human is not always simple. It can be hard:

But I found that humanity It came with sacrifice

Having a human soul means you have a duty to do the right thing out of your own free will, like Fria’s gift showed.

Having a human body means you can experience the warmth of a hug:

But it also means you can be mortally wounded:

This is Ambrosius’s teaching.

Still, it was worth it all for Penny because she got the chance to meet friends and to feel alive:

An answered prayer A chance to Share the world To be a girl Who fin'lly felt alive

This is why her second death can be juxtaposed to her first one. Both times she was killed by Cinder. However, the first time she was used as a pawn in Cinder’s plan. This time instead she is not letting herself be controlled and she negates Cinder what she really wants out of her own free will.

In conclusion, there is this phrase by Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

And I think it sums up Penny’s story perfectly.

Penny does not choose to be born a robot or to be used as a weapon. She is objectified in multiple ways...

Still, she manages to make something amazing out of herself.

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary:  During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too!  [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary:  The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary:  Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree  [Oh!  I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation 

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary:  Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh!  This one’s in my To Read list, but  I’d forgotten about it.  Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary:  He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary:  He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary:  Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

--

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary:  Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

[randomingoftherandomness]

The Bone of Impurity

So with the upcoming Winner is King, my brain got whirling with the thought of The Bone of Impurity which is arguably one of the main plot points of the novel and I thought I would do a bit of a meta for it? It is definitely something I hope they do not dilute for the Live Action adaptation but even if they did touch upon 1% of the shit that goes on into making a Bone of Impurity, it's still pretty Dead Dove Don't Eat. So I thought I would preempt it by actually putting down a primer on the Bone of Impurity.

I did not read the novel in Chinese and read it in English, so some of the more subtle themes present in the original work will have been missed by me. If anyone who has read the Sha Po Lang novel as it was written by Priest, do let me know if I have made any mistakes on any of the below ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Fair warning, there's some pretty Nightmare Fuel inducing shit, so I'll be keeping things under a read more in case people get squicked by this lol I'm also basing my references around the translation that Northwest Flower did because that is the one I read.

Just a basic background on The Bone of Impurity:

It is essentially a curse unique to the Northern Man people who utilise it in moments where someone's country is broken and nothing remains but revenge. To attain that, they make a sacrifice to the 'evil' gods of their beliefs

It is a cruel and horrible affliction to put on the person, but the return for it is that the person who becomes a Bone of Impurity gains the strength, intelligence, foresight and abilities of two persons

Whoever becomes a Bone of Impurity is someone who is single-mindedly ruthless and bloodthirsty when pressed towards a goal; they will attain power and their near supernatural abilities will make them unstoppable in achieving their goals

They will also gain a sort of existence that is neither alive nor dead. Sort of a zombie-like living. They also don't live very long

For all this super abilities, the flip side for anyone living with the Bone of Impurity is that they will be constantly highly suspicious and paranoid of everyone and everything; they will be slowly driven mad by the visceral hallucinations that will leave them incapable of knowing what is real and what is fake (Volume 1, Chapter 26; Volume 3, Chapter 70)

A Bone of Impurity attack comes about when the afflicted experiences heightened emotions or moments of extreme stress (I seriously cannot list out all the times it popped up in the novel because we would be here quite long lol)

It manifests in dual pupils being observed in their blood-hued eyes, hypersensitivity of the senses, their body burning up, almost sleep paralysis levels of body-lockedness and they will experience extreme pain with the bouts of attacks lasting hours at a time (Volume 2, Chapter 50 & 51)

The method of 'refining' a Bone of Impurity is...

Basically taking two babies and putting them in a dark place with no air, no water, no food. One of the babies will survive while the other one dies (Volume 3, Chapter 70)

I'm not quite certain if they have to be blood related or not, but the examples given in the book all indicate that if they have a strong connection to each other, then it would be better and that the Bone of Impurity would better take

The dead baby is then... 'refined' with the arcane arts and medicines of the Northern Man Goddesses and fed to the surviving baby (re:baby cannibalism)

I told you it wasn't pretty...

In the novel, Chang Geng is the Bone of Impurity made by Hu Ge Er, his aunt, in order to bring about chaos and tumult to Great Liang that had subjugated her people. Chang Geng is repeatedly described to have almost scary levels of intelligence and foresight, to the point where some of the characters actually wonder if he is omnipotent.

Chang Geng is also revealed to have obtained characteristics of his cousin

One of the ways Shen Yi and Gu Yun identified Chang Geng as the missing Fourth Prince is the congenital defect of a toe - which, lol, the worlds where DNA testing did not exist - and Chang Geng insists that his toe deformity was caused Hu Ge Er (Chapter 8)

It is later revealed that this was one of the further side-effects of the Bone of Impurity where the afflicted would reflect characteristics of the 'devoured' counterpart (Extra: Souls returned home)

Now on to the meta bit:

Chang Geng has a pretty much single focus sexuality on Gu Yun; even when he wasn't clear on what the nature of those feelings were, he was already dedicated to the man, already thinking up ways of how he can support him in the future

Even when he was heartbroken by the reveal of who 'Shen Shiliu' was and the lies and the subterfuge that had flowed between them, just with an apology and assurance from Gu Yun, Chang Geng was already ready to forgive him

Now, we know that Hu Ge Er said with her dying breath that the Bone of Impurity will cause him to lose his mind and will cause the death of everyone he will ever love. I think she said this because she has already detected the level of dedication he has built for Gu Yun and also because she is a horrible person and wanted one last pot shot at tormenting Chang Geng

Through all his Bone of Impurity attacks, Chang Geng has one consistent thing that he fears the most above everything else - Gu Yun abandoning him, rejecting him, leaving him in any way

My thought is simple; what makes him different from the other Bone of Impurities that were explicitly said and described in the novel? One person. Gu Yun.

Had Gu Yun not saved him from the wolves outside of Yanhui Town, he would have definitely died right there and then being killed by the Northern Man wolves. I truly believed that at that time, Chang Geng really ran out there to die. With just the scant descriptions of what Hu Ge Er did to him throughout his childhood, even the brief glimpses into her horrible abuse, is enough to cement that he was very likely unable to handle everything anymore.

If Gu Yun had not shown up and took on the mantle of Chang Geng's Yi Fu - as clumsy and as emotionally stunted as he was to deal with a dependent - was kind to him without any sort of condition attached to it, if Gu Yun had not taken that spot in Chang Geng's heart and mind as a moral compass, guiding his path to tempering the more extreme effects of the Bone of Impurity, I have no doubt that Chang Geng would have destroyed Great Liang before he even turned 21.

Because of Gu Yun, Chang Geng plotted the way to peace for Great Liang; divesting of weak emperors and ushering in a new age of stability and peace, building a foundation for his nephew to take over and build upon. All because he knew that Gu Yun loved his country, loved the people, has broken his back time and time again to toil for peace and defend its borders.

In the novel, they even explicitly say that when Gu Yun is out doing routine inspections of the borders and stuff, Chang Geng essentially shuts down; starts living like a monk and a life without colour until Gu Yun comes back to him (I don't know which extra or chapter this is in because this post has been waaaayyyy too long at this point)

With Gu Yun, especially when he learns that his supposedly unrequited and unfilial feelings were not as unrequited as they seem, he found a path to a future where he can strive to live without pain and without worry. With Gu Yun, he could focus all of the ruthlessness and all the bloodlust and the brilliance and the horrors and make it into a fulfilment of Gu Yun's dream; to be able to walk away from the battlefield and live out the rest of his days in peace and leisure.

Think about it, especially if you have read the novel, how scary can Chang Geng get when Gu Yun isn't around to temper him?

Basically, yes, I am definitely saying that Chang Geng and Gu Yun doing the horizontal dance with no pants resulted in peace for the country lol

[Bit of Trivia] Chang Geng's name is also significant because, according to Hu Ge Er, it is the name of the 'Bone of Impurity' in the Chinese dialect (Chapter 6)

[lacktastrophe]

Vero doesn’t need to write Sandy as a cartoonishly evil villain when the Patreon comments are doing that for her. The amount of people who were excited to call her some form of malicious cheater (when it was it wasn’t physical, everyone immediately jumped to emotional without knowing the situation) or say that she’s responsible for how Mike treats his friends is wild.

Ah, I don’t go there too often but I do see a few people doing that.

I figure those people had forgotten Sandy has been this rather positive and supportive person in Mike’s life in the absence of others. In the case in the past where Mike was willing to drop Lucy like a bad habit, Sandy was one of the few people who had a real chance of trying to convince him not to give up on her and had tried to have him make up.

There are two main themes going on with Mike; the first is his attempts to stand up for himself after years of being a pushover. That’s great of him, but the times when he chooses to vehemently defend himself, or by extension, Sandy, are usually inopportunely timed in the grand scheme of things and he isn’t able to handle his emotions and stop himself from exploding and setting fire to his bridges. The other is the past, rather -- how Mike chooses to remain attached to it, and how he can’t let go. We can imagine the reason behind this relates to Sandy, as his memories of his earliest childhood are the only memories he has involving her. We saw that for real during Model Girlfriend when he tried acting like how things were just like back then, but it gets worse when you realise living like this had been affecting his behaviour with the others in the present; as he fixated so much on Lucy in the past he never realised she was changing under his care until it was much too late. He never grew from this either and made the same mistakes with the others in the more recent chapters as if they were just like their Volume 1 counterparts. He’s been so withdrawn from Paulo’s dealings he hasn’t realised that Paulo had already made up with Lucy and the two of them have learned they’ll maybe never be together. Mike hasn’t realised how close Daisy and Paulo have become again after Abbey, and he was sure Daisy would follow him blindly to the end of the earth. Many of the other characters have shown some growth but Mike doesn’t appear to have done any himself. The attempts he makes at trying to stand up for himself appear like tantrums, and when they do happen, he burns bridges. He isn’t able to deal maturely in these areas at all, and it’s because he holds onto the past.

The worst part is, is that Mike is aware of this as well and it appears to be out of his control.

It’s difficult to label Sandy as the actual problem behind everything at this stage because we haven’t learned enough from her perspective, and because she really hasn’t actually had much to do with things other than to ‘seem’ to mess with Mike’s feelings if we look at his nightmares. We can’t exactly choose Paulo’s side and be vehemently against Sandy because of the things we already know about in the story. Paulo only has one perspective about Sandy in the comic; and it’s excuses coming from Mike, so it’s no wonder his opinion is so sour about her when the only explanation Mike can give is ‘She’s busy’. But Paulo isn’t aware that Mike has enabled this absence by allowing her to take reprieves from keeping in contact and putting his emotions second. Similar to how Mike used to be too accompanying to Lucy and let her go wild, he’s done the same thing with Sandy by basically pulling himself out of the picture so she could focus on her career without worrying about him. If anything, Sandy is not a cheater. She had remained quite loyal to Mike and that part is still in her mind when she tells Francis they can’t be a couple because she’s still together with Mike. But what Mike is discovering a little too late is that if you remove yourself from the picture, that just leaves other people to fill in the place you gave up.

It sucks things are turning out this way for Mike but we’ll only be able to learn if Sandy really had any part in this by either the next couple of pages or the conclusion. I just think she’s been too out of Mike’s picture to have actually been able to do anything.

[smuttyjenos]

The Heartbreak Series

A Short Overview of Mark’s Love-life Throughout the Years

Mark-centric AU

Pairings: markhyuck, markten, yumark, renmark, jenmark, lumark, and side!johnten

word count: 3.4k+ words

written in bullet form cus I'm a lazy shit

unbetaed so read at your own risk lmao

very self-indulgent; i.e., I just really wanted to hurt Mark... sorry Mark

suggestive themes. contains swearing and mentions of alcohol, drugs, sex, and cigarettes. reader discretion is advised!

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MARKHYUCK - “The timing wasn’t right”

Mark didn’t hate Donghyuck when they first met; he just didn’t get him

Where Mark was quiet, respectful, and peace-loving Donghyuck was loud, brash, and always spoke what was on his mind without any regard to anyone’s feelings

But somehow everyone loved Hyuck and Mark couldn’t understand why

Until he took the time to properly get to know him

That was when he realized how irresistibly magnetic he was

He was funny in a crass way

And was horribly honest (for better or for worse)

He knew the best ways to rile people up but somehow always smiled his way out of any fight

And god was his smile beautiful

He made you want to be his friend with a single look

But understanding this didn’t mean understanding his own feelings (especially as a supposedly “straight” Catholic boy), so nothing truly develops between Mark and Hyuck aside from a weirdly tense friendship

Where Mark was constantly craving his attention

And Hyuck was constantly torn between giving it to him or staying away for his own sanity

They move away from each other after high school and end up in different universities so they don’t hear from each other again until years later

MARKTEN - “the mentor”

Mark was in his first year of college when he realized he might not actually be straight after all

Being away from his Catholic parents and being exposed to other types of people really helped broaden his horizons

But meeting Ten was the turning point

They kissed during a game of Truth or Dare and the next thing Mark knew was that Ten was bringing him home to his bed

The morning after a confusing but terribly pleasurable fiasco, Ten was laughing at Mark's naivety because

(1) he hadn’t left like most guys do after a one night stand and;

(2) Mark was a cuddler when he was drunk off his ass

A literal octopus that pouted and whined and unconsciously sucked hickies unto exposed pieces of skin he could reach overnight

Mark tries to make sense of what happened

He thought that he and Ten HAD to be a thing now after what they had done (and they had done a lot)

Mark doesn’t really understand yet the concept of a one night stand

Ten explains to him that they don’t have to date or be exclusive (Ten just doesn’t roll that way)

They can just keep things casual between them

But poor Mark just looked so lost

So Ten takes him under his wing

Ten spends the next few months helping Mark explore his sexuality

They try different positions and different roles and even have a few threesomes with Ten’s more regular hookup: Johnny

Ten goes to great lengths to teach Mark about the wonders of hookup culture and one night stands and bars with sexy drunk men and sex full of passion but without any of the strings attached

He does all this before sending him off into the world like a chick leaving the nest

But Ten is still Mark’s favorite go-to for a long time

He just never had a chance with Ten

Not really

Especially not with Johnny always around

YUMARK - “the first heartbreak”

Yuta was Mark’s first boyfriend

He was known around the school as the problem-kid in Johnny’s year because he had skipped and flunked so many classes, has repeated his 3rd year twice

He was also notorious for his black-painted nails, devil-may-care attitude, and smoking on school grounds

He was the type of boy your parents warned you to stay away from

And he was also Ten’s go-to supply for happy pills and alcohol whenever he hosted parties at Johnny's frat house

Mark had known about him for a while

Had heard about him from all his seniors and even his batchmates

But they first meet at Ten’s graduation party when Mark was in his 2nd Year

By then Mark had been well-taught and fully immersed in hookup culture and he wanted to try his hand on someone different like Yuta

He let the older boy take him to his dorm room which smelled of weed and cheap beer

This isn't really what Mark would call attractive

But somehow spending the night with Yuta made Mark crave more than was deemed healthy

Even Ten wanted him to stay away from Yuta after hearing he had slept with him

But something about his aura made Mark fall to his knees

So they spend a few more nights together wrapped up in each other’s embrace

Yuta showed Mark things that Ten didn’t dare (and that was saying something as Ten was quite kinky himself)

Mark would probably never disclose to anyone the kind of shit he and Yuta regularly got around to doing

But one of their tamer endeavors, and one that they particularly enjoyed doing, was fucking raw while they were high or drunk

During this time their inhibitions would be completely thrown out the window and their fucking would often border on dangerous

Like fucking on the windowsill with the window wide open

Despite living on the 3rd floor

On one of those blurry nights where their vision was hazy with smoke and their throats burned from liquor, Mark blurted out that he had fallen in love with Yuta

Yuta didn't exactly reply

But he pulled him into a kiss and they didn’t speak of it again

They spent most of their free time together making out, fucking, or chilling at Yuta’s dorm with bongs and Japanese horror movies after that

They skipped classes to go on long drives to the countryside where they’d happily fuck in (and occasionally on) the car

Mark picked up smoking as a habit after having been given the task of carrying around Yuta’s lighter and lighting his cigarettes for him

The hefty metal had ‘N.YUTA’ messily carved into its body with a box cutter

And carrying it around made Mark feel useful, powerful, and gave him a sense of purpose

But he didn’t realize how dependent he was becoming or how much of his life he was slowly ruining

Mark lived in this toxic relationship believing Yuta needed him

Yuta told him that he needed him

When in reality it was actually Mark who needed him to feel alive

One day the relationship took a nosedive when Mark finds Yuta cheating on him with Winwin

Mark had never known what rage felt like until that moment

Mark cried angry tears

And he threw the metal light out the window, shattering the glass and causing Winwin to wince at the probable cost of the damage

Yuta tried to apologize but ultimately they decided that the relationship had already died months ago

They weren’t good or healthy for each other

And this was apparently just an incident waiting to happen

So they broke things off without another word

Mark has long since forgiven Yuta but only because it was in his nature to do so

But despite having uttered the words “I forgive you” he still feels the sting of heartache every time he sees Yuta and Winwin together

Because he couldn’t deny that Winwin made Yuta better than he ever could

RENMARK - “the one that got away”

Renjun was unique and enigmatic in many ways

He was smart, funny, artistic, and had a great personality, but was closed off and always kept his guard up

He made Mark want to use big words he otherwise would never use on a daily basis (like Abstentious, Deleterious, and Grandiose) simply because it made him smile

And Mark really loved his smile

Renjun would tease him for it, saying Mark probably didn't even know half the words he spewed out

But Mark could handle a few hundred blows to his ego if it meant Renjun would look at him for a few seconds longer

Following his relationship with Yuta, however, Mark just couldn’t find it in himself to ask the damn boy out

Renjun wasn’t an overly affectionate person and was stingy with skinship

But that made it all sweeter when he would lean against Mark while laughing his loud, full-bellied laugh at something Mark had said

Mark avoided smoking around Renjun because he had said once that he didn’t enjoy the smell

And he had associated cigars to his absent father

So regardless of the heavy withdrawals he experienced, Mark eventually quit smoking altogether because Renjun was less likely to recoil from a hug if he smelled more like sweat than if he smelled of burnt nicotine

Mark thought that maybe this was Renjun making him better (the same way Winwin had made Yuta better)

This made Mark think "Ah yes, he's the one"

But he wasn’t

He knew he wasn’t because of one night where Mark invited Renjun to his dorm to watch a movie over some beer and popcorn

They watched Love, Rosie, because Renjun wanted something cheesy to cringe to

They weren’t cringing though

Instead, they had the lights dimmed and the movie set to a low volume as they seriously talked about what could’ve happened if Rosie and Alex had just confessed to each other sooner

Hearing Renjun’s thoughts made Mark want to confess his love for him sooner too

And it was a little deeper into the night when Mark was on his 5th bottle and Renjun was on his 3rd that Mark found himself staring at Renjun’s side profile

He allowed himself this moment to trace the boy’s features

From the soft curve of his eyebrow down to his dainty ears and his perfectly carved out jaw that was hidden underneath a smooth expanse of unblemished skin

When Mark looked up again, Renjun was staring back

A moment passed where Mark’s heart felt like it was trying to jump out of his chest

And then he was leaning in and kissing Renjun on the lips

It wasn’t rough or passionate

It was slow and all-encompassing

All sighs and deep breathes before a gentle brush of parted lips

Renjun ended up on Mark’s lap, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes closed like he was scared to know if this was real or not

But he knew it was real because he was holding unto Mark’s shoulders for dear life while Mark held him gently by the waist

Renjun sleeps over at Mark’s that night but they didn’t go beyond soft kisses and lips against smooth skin

Mark thought it was perfect

But when Mark wakes up the next day, Renjun had left him a note on his bedside table that said

“Please, let’s not talk about last night.”

So they don’t

Because when they meet again, Jaemin was all wide smiles and sparkling teeth

“I finally got the courage to ask Renjun out, and he said yes!”

Mark tries his best to forget about his crush on Renjun because he still wanted him around and because he couldn’t ruin his friendship with Jaemin

Even if he couldn’t rest his hand on his lower back or press gentle kisses on his forehead, having him around was enough

Mark tells himself that this is enough

Seeing Renjun happy, even if it was in the arms of another, is enough

Renjun’s presence and his friendship is enough

It was Mark that wasn’t enough

MARKJEN - “the rebound”

Mark wasn’t enough for Renjun and Jeno wasn’t enough for Jaemin even when they both gave their all for the other

Mark still avoided smoking around Renjun but without the boy teetering him down his withdrawals became too hard to resist

So he allowed himself a butt or two whenever he was out, drinking his sorrows away with Jeno

Jaemin and Renjun’s relationship became their common denominator and they decided, after multiple bottles of whiskey and gin, that they should fall into bed with one another

Sex with Jeno was surprisingly rough and fast-paced

There was no love there; just calloused hands on his body and teeth marking his tanned skin

And a battle for dominance which Jeno was surprisingly unwilling to relinquish

After having been emotionally used by Jaemin for years, something snapped in Jeno that made him refuse to bend over for anyone ever again

And Mark, after having Renjun take everything he could give, was happy to let Jeno take the reigns and give it to him harder than anyone else ever did

They didn’t fall in love with one another

They never shared gentle kisses or whispered sweet things to one another

But between them bloomed a strong friendship that helped patch the emptiness in their hearts and anchored them back to the ground all the way until graduation

MARKHYUCK (2) - “it was you all along”

Of all the people Mark thought he’d meet on the bus, he didn’t expect Donghyuck to drop unto his lap (quite literally) during his commute home

After suffering multiple heartaches throughout his years in college, Mark thought himself too old to believe in fate or soulmates

He instead believed in the art that is hooking up with strangers he would meet at bars (Ten liked to call it “going back to his roots”)

(Not that Ten had any right to speak when he and Johnny were getting hitched in two month’s time)

But meeting Hyuck had him thinking that maybe fate wasn’t all just a can of baloneys

Even after Donghyuck had quite literally fallen unto Mark’s lap, he still had the audacity to get mad at the older boy for sitting in that particular seat that he could’ve fallen into without incident

And Mark could barely believe his ears at the words

Donghyuck was still just as brash and rude as he was when they were in high school

But the mischief in his eyes was aged, more mature, and less childish

Clearly, he's seen and experienced things and grown up a little

Even if it wasn't obvious

Perhaps they shared a few experiences between them?

Mark didn't have time to ponder on this as he was completely stunned to silence

Mark got up from his seat and offered it to the angry boy, who wasn’t really all that angry to begin with because he didn't know what else to do

Donghyuck was hesitant but he eventually sat down on the chair that Mark offered

It was the wrong decision though as Mark decided to stay rooted to his spot, right beside the seat, a little rigid and causing Hyuck some intense discomfort

Mark stared down at Donghyuck who was getting red from all the attention

After barking out a “what?” Mark asked the first thing that was on his mind

“Do you want to get some coffee with me?”

Of course, Donghyuck was taken aback

But the guilt of having stolen Mark’s seat and STILL acting rude despite all of that made Hyuck turn away with a blush high on his cheeks and a silent “sure” falling from his lips

The silent 'sure' that made a smile blossom on Mark’s face so Donghyuck didn’t really mind (to him, Mark was still as handsome as he remembered)

They stop by the first Starbucks they see and sit down to catch up

Mark finds out that Hyuck had just started working at the same company he and Johnny worked at

Donghyuck was also scheduled to move into the same apartment complex Mark lived in–albeit on a higher floor

Something pleasant wriggled inside Mark at the knowledge that he could potentially be spending more time with Hyuck depending on what department he'll be working in

He was pretty fucking convinced that it was fate paying him back for all the years of heartache he endured

Mark quickly offers Donghyuck his assistance for the move but the younger of the two quickly rejects, telling him that he was plenty capable of doing it on his own

Mark wanted to argue further but he feared it would scare Hyuck away, so he let it be and simply settled with buying the boy jjajangmyeon to celebrate getting his own place

They quickly become close friends after that and Mark takes Hyuck as his + 1 for Johnny and Ten's wedding

Mark decides that slow and steady was a good move for him and Hyuck

But what he didn’t anticipate happening was Donghyuck meeting Jeno at the wedding and seemingly becoming infatuated with the other boy

Mark was starting to think that life was a bit too unfair to him as he watched Hyuck and Jeno become fast friends

He wanted to scream and retaliate

And tell Jeno to stick to his lane as he was already flirting with Jisung anyway

But instead, Mark runs away wanting to spare himself another heartache

And Hyuck was left to stand there, baffled by Mark's sudden inattention

LUMARK - “it’s not me, it’s him.”

In a desperate attempt to forget about Hyuck, Mark starts sleeping around once again and meets Lucas

He was a boy his age who he likened to a giant puppy

A puppy he definitely shouldn't have met at a gay bar because he was much too kind for his own good

Lucas is as sweet to him as life is cruel

On the first night they met, Lucas had bought him a drink, danced with him on the dance floor, patted his back while he hurled into a toilet from drinking too hard, and then let him cry on his shoulder after bringing him back home (supposedly to make out so more but that didn't exactly go as planned)

A week later and Mark finds himself getting picked up after work every single day

He walks him home, regularly takes him out for dinner dates, and even asks him if he wanted to move in after his lease was up

All within a month of dating him

Once again Mark finds himself thinking that maybe Lucas is the one even if he knows very well that he didn't deserve the giant puppy

He couldn’t deny, however, that the relationship fell short

Lucas was very kind about this and asked Mark if maybe there was someone else

Technically there wasn’t

But really... there was

Because Mark couldn’t get the thought of Donghyuck out of his head

Mark blurts this out one night but hastily explains to Lucas that nothing is going in between him and Hyuck

Mark could never cheat on anyone after suffering so badly with Yuta

And Mark hasn't really been out to see a lot of his friends since he met Lucas (mostly to avoid Hyuck) so he didn't really have the time to cheat on him

He will just try harder to love Lucas as much as Lucas loved him is what Mark says

But all Lucas says in response is “I am not Donghyuck, and that's okay."

MARKHYUCK (3) - “say yes”

After the relatively peaceful breakup with Lucas (who agrees that they should at least remain friends), Mark is once again alone in the world

Mark and Donghyuck still work for the same company and still go home to the same apartment complex

But where Mark used to have Lucas pick him up and walk him home, he now had no one to spare him the uncomfortable small talk that Hyuck has insisted they have

“What happened to Lucas?”

“We broke up.”

“Oh.”

“What happened to Jeno?”

“He’s with Jisung.”

“Oh!”

Mark was clearly taken aback as he knew Jeno used to flirt with Jisung long before he even met Hyuck

Shouldn’t having them hang out make Donghyuck uncomfortable?

Just like before, Mark was deeply baffled by Hyuck’s behavior

“Is he not crushing on Jisung anymore?”

“He’s literally head over heels in love with him.”

“Then why’d you let them hang out?”

An uncomfortable silence envelops them that causes Mark to look up at Hyuck properly

“... cus they’re dating?”

Mark was confused by this

It’s true he hadn’t been with his friends in a while, completely focusing on Lucas and avoiding Donghyuck

But he couldn’t have possibly missed something this big

“I thought you and Jeno were dating? You two became so close after the wedding.”

This time it was Donghyuck who gave Mark a confused look (although his was laced with anger)

“Mark Lee you can’t be that fucking stupid! I was asking him to help me ask you out.”

A whirlwind of emotions washed over Mark as he stared at the angry boy in front of him

He found it more and more difficult to do anything BUT stare at Donghyuck; he just had that effect on him

He stared so hard that he didn’t realize they had reached their stop and that Donghyuck was getting off the bus

Mark allowed his body to move on autopilot as he helplessly followed Hyuck into their apartment building

As if he was watching his life pass by like a movie, Mark watched as Hyuck pressed (slammed) the button for his floor for him and allowed himself to be pushed out of the elevator when he had reached his supposed destination

But instead of walking to his apartment, Mark turned back around to the closed elevator and stared some more

When the elevator doors opened again to reveal one of his startled neighbors, Mark suddenly snaps out of his trance-like stupor

What the fuck was he doing out here?

As the moments before suddenly rush back to him, Mark makes a move for the elevator (even getting slammed between the doors as it was closing) to go to Hyuck’s apartment

He bangs on the door loudly, not bothering to put down his suitcase that was undoubtedly scuffing the wooden door

Donghyuck flings the door open angrily to yell at Mark but is instead cut off by the older boy’s voice

“What do you mean ask me out?”

Hyuck stared at Mark in disbelief for a moment before attempting to close the door on his face

Much to his delight and Donghyuck's anger, Mark’s reflexes were much faster than either of them knew and he easily pushes himself into the room to simply ask again

“Hyuck, what do you mean ask me out? You were going to ask me out?”

“Yes you big oaf, I was going to ask you out! But your stupidly small brain encased in that big forehead of yours decided to date Lucas before I even had the chance.”

Mark bites back a smile but ultimately fails as he backs Haechan further into the apartment

“Ask me now.”

“What?”

“Ask me out now.”

At this point, Donghyuck looks downright murderous but Mark pays him no heed as he keeps smiling down at Hyuck

“I’m not asking you out anymore, Mark Lee.”

“Then I’ll ask you.”

“No you won’t, I’ll say no.”

“Go out with me, Donghyuck.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to anymore!”

“Please?”

Hyuck stared up at the soft, pleading look on Mark’s face and feels himself crumble for a moment

So he turns away from temptation, a scowl deepening the lines on his face

Mark only follows his gaze and smiles back at Hyuck

He could see the younger boy's resolve breakaway but he also knew that Hyuck was a stubborn bitch

So finally, in a last-ditch attempt to get what he hoped will make them both happy, Mark decides to take Donghyuck’s hands in his and looks directly into his eyes

“I know I was a dick, Hyuck.. but please give me one more chance? Go out with me...”

Hyuck seemed like he was at a loss for words

The last of his dignity and his inflated ego had been chipped away and he felt like he was suddenly laid bare in front of Mark

Completely and 100% at his mercy

So instead of dignifying Mark’s begging with a response, he looks away once more and gives him a curt nod

The small affirmation, however, lights up Mark’s face and he hurriedly throws his arms around Hyuck and pulls him into a tight hug before spinning him around once (completely ignoring the shrieking it caused)

When Mark pulls away, Donghyuck's face is flushed red and he's scowling at him once more

But that didn’t dim Mark's smile at all

Instead, he asks Hyuck if he could kiss him

And Donghyuck, of course, says yes

[kasieli]

A/N: Entry for DamiRae week 2020 Day 1, Handcuffed/bound together. There’s just some suggestive themes and (lots of) language (sorry, mouth of a sailor), so this is going to be a T rating. If you’re uncomfortable with depictions of drinking, I suggest you skip this one, since it’s the majority of the fic. This is kind of like a college AU, yeah? Without further ado, let’s start DamiRae week 2020, shall we? ;)

---

Raven hissed out a sigh and rolled her eyes — something she knew she would be doing plenty of times this fine evening.

If there was one thing she hated more than lukewarm tea, it would be stuck in a crowd full of empty, nameless faces, at a raging party, in a freaking house. There was absolutely nowhere to escape, let alone anywhere to breath, and there was always someone invading her personal space which, she hated to admit, was far less than the mere five feet that she deemed satisfactory. God, everyone was nearly on top of her. 

She rolled her eyes again.

This is why she despised parties.

Sure, she could have just pushed her way through the sea of wasted college students to save her throbbing ear drums. Sure, she could have just exited the stupid party and gone the hell home. But unfortunately she didn’t even have the simple luxury of using the damned trashed up puke-infested-by-now restroom – or merely shield her ears with both hands if she wanted to.

Jesus Christ, how could she have been convinced by her roommate to attend this shit show? She honestly should have known better. Fraternity parties were never ever good news, she didn’t even need to attend one to know. 

And yet here she was, standing in the middle of a jam-packed crowd, in a fraternity house, with a bottle of tequila in one hand, and a handcuff attached to another human being on the other. 

That was the quintessential fifths and cuffs party, after all. 

Bringing the bottle up to her lips, she quickly threw her head back as she took a greedy swig of tequila and winced, causing some of it to spew from the sides of the bottle and splash over her face and her admittedly too-exposed chest. That, she realized  –  alongside choosing tequila as her alcohol of choice –  was a monumental mistake.

“Woah, slow down!” her ‘date’ next to her exclaimed as he grabbed the bottle out of her hands.

“Give me that back,” she grunted, clawing at his hand. 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “At this rate you’re going to finish this in no less than 10 minutes.” Even with the Backstreet Boys bellowing at ungodly volumes around her, she could tell that his voice was half filled with disbelief and the other with amusement. Chuckling slightly, he then followed her lead and took a gulp of tequila, except he did it gracefully. How could someone taking shots straight from a handle look so goddamn perfect? The man didn’t spill a mere drop on his face, as opposed to her scenario and her still damp halter top and the globs of tequila running down her chest.

Rolling her eyes, she snatched the handle from his grip and shot a heated glance over to her ‘date’, “Can’t you tell that’s what I’m trying to do?”

He shook his head and chuckled again. 

“That’s not entirely safe, you know.”

“Yeah, thanks for that information, captain obvious,” she growled as she took yet another swig, “I’ll survive,” she managed on a cough. 

The reality of the situation, however, was that no matter how fast her and her ‘date’ chugged this bottle of tequila, it would be borderline impossible to get out of these handcuffs without being completely wasted from the sheer amount of poison they were consuming – that is, if they could finish it. God, she knew it was dangerous, too, but the overwhelming desire to get the hell home plus the fact that she was starting to feel the woozy effects of the tequila oozing around her (still) logical senses (for now) was making her reasoning...well...completely unreasonable. 

But even with this so-called ‘liquid courage’, she was dumbfounded that anyone would be doing this for fun. At least, the crowd around her seemed to be having a wildly good time. Many were attempting to impress their dates by trying to show off their awful dance moves to some pounding beat (with the bonus side effect of the handcuffed date wiggling along), and some were already starting to eat each other’s faces (no liquid courage needed there). Really, how could this be fun? It was absolute torture. 

Her date beside her exhaled a sigh that wasn’t unlike the ones she had been doling out, and it was a teensy bit comforting that at least, to her observation, he wasn’t having a jolly ol’ blast, either. 

He clicked his tongue. “Alright, I know we were both dragged here against our will, so, please, let’s not try to get alcohol poisoning.”

She frowned as he took the bottle from her hands once again.

“Alright, Mr. Romantic, I know we were both dragged here against our will, so why don’t we finish this goddamn thing and get the hell out of here,” she spat. Jeez, even she could hear herself rolling her eyes in her voice.

His eyes narrowed. “You’re really going to be calling me that right now?” he scoffed with a voice that wonderfully took the same sarcastic tone.

“Well, maybe if you didn’t talk so much in Romantic Literature, you wouldn’t have that nickname.” She whipped her head around and gave him a hard, steady glare.

He scoffed again and rolled his eyes. “Oh, of course. That.”

For the first time in those how many minutes they were handcuffed together, she hadn’t cared to look at his face, as in really look at his face. This realization whacked her like the first C she got in their shared Romantic Literature class (she was now convinced the professor had a thing against her — she was also convinced that he was the professor’s favorite, the golden student, woohoo!) and she stood there like then, stunned, absolutely immobilized and even almost offended. But she didn’t have the luxury to ponder her placement in their class since the entirety of her muzzy, muddled mind seemed to be focusing on the fact that he was ridiculously and unsettlingly gorgeous. Having looks like that wasn’t fair. She had never seen him so up close before, and while, sure, maybe she thought he was kind of cute when she first saw him sitting stoically in their Romantic Literature class, she had never been able to tell just how incredible that jawline was or that his eyes were green – and a goddamn stunning green, at that. 

“If it really offends you, I’ll stop for now,” she successfully retrieved the bottle from his grasp and did exactly what she intended to do, “Damian,” she coughed again after feeling the burn of the tequila inch down her throat.

“Thank you, Mary Wollstonecraft (1),” he countered, smirking.

She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, fuck you,” she jeered as she shoved the bottle into his chest, causing him to catch her wrist in surprise. A few splashes of the tequila sloshed out and spattered onto his shirt. The sweeping motion of her eyes painting over him was almost automatic, and she soon came to realize that the shirt she just ruined was an elegant navy blue button down with a dainty pattern of dots – something that probably wasn’t meant to mop up some tequila droplets spilled by some English nerd. The sleeves were rolled up so that his forearms were exposed, and he had just the top two buttons undone at the collar of his shirt, but it was enough to flaunt that wonderful skin underneath. He always did dress quite nicely to class, and even from the distance, no matter what he wore, hoodie, button downs, t-shirts, she could tell he had a rather...delicious body. A golden boy, he absolutely was.

Oh, god, what was this alcohol doing to her?

“If it really offends you, I’ll stop for now...Raven,” he mimicked, smirking, eyes glued to hers.

Wait...eyes glued to hers? 

He was full on staring at her, and his face was so close, when did he get so close? No, she wasn’t stupid, she knew they were handcuffed so obviously they had to be relatively close, but just moments before she swore they were next to each other –  now they were face to face. Someone must have merely bumped into him and caused him to do so, but even so, she felt her heart alongside the blaring music strike against her already aching ears.

In no help to ease her already ripening...thoughts, he brought his hand up which was still holding onto her wrist which was still holding onto the bottle to his lips and took a slow sip. She could see that he rested the bottle on his tongue –  almost licking it – before those wonderful lips of his enclosed the rest and sipped that tequila as if it was goddamn syrup. He didn’t flinch or tear his eyes away from hers — God, he had such nice eyes — then afterwards he lapped up the rest of the tequila that must have wandered onto his lips. 

Okay, that was entirely intentional, she knew, since tequila burned.

“What?” he prodded in a voice that failed to be innocent. 

“Nothing,” she huffed as she tore her hand away from his grasp. 

She didn’t need the extra warmth, not right now, since she was already starting to sweat. Not solely because it was overly stuffed in the already small fraternity house and the sheer amount of bodies heavily increased the temperature, but also because of...him. Jeez, at this point, it wasn’t only the alcohol that was making her skin burn.

Her eyes averted to the bottle as she ripped it back from his hands and took a gulp, an awfully clumsy gulp, and to her dismay, but not surprise, covered herself in tequila once again.

A small chuckle from Damian made her blink up to look at him, only to find his eyes drifting off to an area much below hers.

“Oh, look at you, you’ve made a mess,” he whispered, “now you’re all wet.”

Fuck.

He was definitely flirting with her.

How could the know-it-all boy that could out talk their professor possibly be flirting with her? And more so, doing it successfully?

She couldn’t help but glance down at her chest and watch as the pesky droplets of tequila slid down before disappearing behind the edge of her halter top. In addition, the ample lighting provided by the sad excuse of a disco ball struck her chest in a way that illuminated both the thin sheet of sweat and the beads of tequila on her chest, emphasizing what made her a woman, as opposed to a man.  

“Your top is cute,” he added nonchalantly, successfully taking the bottle back and swallowing yet another deliberate, drawn out sip. This time, he didn’t care to lick the leftover tequila from his lips and boy — what was she thinking? He was eyeing her carefully, his eyes filled with a sort of wicked curiosity as he waited, presumably, for a response. 

At this point the alcohol was hitting her — hard. It was making the world spin wildly around her and the music fuzzy and her face numb, and for all things good, bad, and in between, the only thing she could focus on right now was how hot this man in front of her was. She really, really, really wanted to know if his bare chest was just as sculpted as she hypothesized it to be.

“It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?” He asked almost aimlessly, ‘innocently’, once again. 

He peered around them, tilting his head. It may have not been intentional on his part, but by doing so, he freed his neck from his shirt collar, giving her an ample view of that incredible jawline...and his neck...her eyes trailed down more to his collarbone, just above where his shirt scraped the edges of his skin, and she could see the small beads of sweat dripping from his hair, and she suddenly had an urge to get rid of them, wipe them off by...whatever means necessary. 

“Yeah…” she responded, in a soft, senseless voice.

“Here, help me unbutton this, would you?”

Raising their handcuffed hands, he toyed at the top most button on his shirt. She felt her cheeks flare, even though they were numb — or so she thought.

“W...What?” she stammered. 

“The top button, it’s getting hot. Help me undo it,” he stated plainly as if his request was as simple as taking out the trash. 

“Fine.” She shook her head and obeyed — why did she obey? He wasn’t bound — he was simply just handcuffed. He could have done it himself, she knew he could have done it himself, and yet here she was, almost undressing him. Almost.

Her hands were shaky against his chest and, Jesus Christ, he was sweating under that fitted navy blue button down, she could see it on the newly exposed skin on his chest and, fuck, was it hot. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe or else she’d smell that scent that trailed off of him and destroy the last barrier she had controlling herself from tasting that skin of his neck.

He shifted so that her face was almost pressed up against that bare skin and cursed — it was like he was reading her fucking mind.

“Are you alright?” Despite the music, his voice was low, gruff, and breathy, and it seemed to be the only thing she could hear now –  besides her heart which was also squirming uncomfortably in her chest, screaming at her to get the hell out of there. “You seem a little...tight.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She turned her face away so that a thick curtain of hair could provide somewhat of a barrier between her and his bare chest and cleared her throat. Well, her throat was tight, that’s for sure. 

“I’m fine,” she lied. Definitely not fine. “I could just use a little fresh air, that’s all.” Definitely true.

And space. Lots of goddamn space. Space from him, but that wasn’t going to happen any time soon now was it? After all, they still had half the bottle left to go. 

“Oh, you should have said something,” he replied as he took her hand. “Come with me.”

As if she had a choice.

Before leading her presumably outside the house, he paused momentarily by the kitchen counter and turned to her, an eyebrow raised, and a smirk tugging at his lips.

“Oh, by the way, you don’t want this anymore, do you?”

Standing beside a massive plastic tub filled with a so called ‘jungle juice’, he raised the handle of tequila over the top, tipped it over, and — 

“Oops.”

Her eyes widened. “Wait, you can’t get rid of that —”

“Shh, calm down,” he leaned in close so that his lips brushed her ear. “You wouldn’t tell on me, would you?”

He wasn’t even looking at the tequila bottle as the rest of her sweet, burning escape (now, in more ways than one) glugged into the jungle juice. She, however, was examining it as if it were some sort of masterpiece, keeping her eyes glued as the rest of the contents sputtered to a stop. 

She swallowed hard, clenching her jaw. “No…” 

He let out a soft chuckle. “Good girl.” 

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

“See? Now we can get out of these.” He flashed a sly smile at her before she saw something else sparkle between his fingers.

Her eyes widened. Again. 

“You had the key this whole time?”

Without even giving her a semblance of a reply, he was already leading her outside, and before she knew it, they had perched onto a bench on the patio, and he was inserting the key into the lock and with a not-so-satisfying click!, she was...free.

The look he gave her next...well...it was...jeez. His hair was slightly unkempt because he had pushed it to the side, and she could see that his cheeks were almost imperceptibly tickled pink presumably by the effects of the alcohol, and now, with the hazy moonlight and twinkling patio lights, she could see those green gems he called eyes better, and they were hungry. The alcohol was gradually draining from her, she could feel it, but there was still enough in her, still enough wrapping around her senses that, without another thought, her now-free hand found his cheek and turned his face towards her, her breathing heavy even though she finally had fresh air. She never, ever wanted to kiss another human being so badly, never had such a burning desire for someone before, and here he was, a-sexy-as-hell man, basically taunting her to do so the whole goddamn night.

There was an ever so slightly widening of his eyes, before his expression went soft and a lopsided grin settled on his face once again. God, he was so beautiful.

“What do you want?” He hummed in a low voice.

She exhaled slowly, shakily, almost growling.

“You know what I want.”

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Oh? Do I, now?”

This...‘innocent’ act he was playing...he wouldn’t be able to keep it up much longer.

She rolled her eyes, biting her lip, and she saw that he was intently watching every damn second as she did so. Oh, she was absolutely 100% certain that he did know. 

She was about to reply, but before she could say anything he leaned forward and tucked her hair behind her ears, then with those wonderful lips started exploring her neck. Man, she was glad he didn’t make her ask -- or beg. His lips felt so nice...they were so soft...he was surprisingly gentle, kissing her neck tenderly as if she were a delicate piece of art. It was exactly what she wanted but not remotely enough -- all at once. 

With an abrupt call from one of his friends, he stopped immediately. His eyes rolled up to meet hers as he tousled his already messy hair. “My, my...looks like I have to go,” he whispered. But that look in his eyes, she knew what it was, and she was sure as hell he didn’t want to leave just yet.

“Stay,” she commanded, tugging at that navy blue button down. “You’re not done yet.”

He chuckled.

“I’m not a bad boy,” he replied with a smirk, twisting a strand of her hair between his fingers. He pressed his lips against her ears, and she felt the hairs on her skin rise, something like electricity surging through her skin. “If you feel the same way tomorrow then…”

This time he nibbled her ear but she couldn’t seem to decide what to focus on because his hand was also traveling up her leg and he smelled so good and he was oh so warm, and, god, was going to this party a wonderful fucking idea.

“...Here, I’ll put my number on your phone.”

Her eyes shot down in a surprise. Oh, so he was reaching for her phone, not...something else. He handed back her phone and as she glanced down at her contact list, there it was, like he promised: ‘Mr. Romantic’ — complete with a goddamn heart emoji. 

He stood up and tilted his head as a smirk tickled his lips.

“See you in class, Raven.”

--

1. Mary Wollstonecraft was a writer in the late 1700s. One of her most notable works was A Vindication of the Rights of Women, and she is regarded to be one of the earliest feminist philosophers, so Damian is teasing Raven about being a strong feminist voice in their class. Not that he’s against it, he’s just teasing her since she teased him. 

[okuraiani]

“Secret Project” — Ikemen Prince Prologue

I talked about this the other day, but today I can finally announce that I've finished (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I've finished translating the prologue for Ikemen Prince!

It's been a few days since the game was released, but I still want to share some of my impressions with you before you guys plunge into the madness that is my translation (￣▽￣*)ゞ

Truth be told, I had mixed feelings about this game when I first heard about it. It honestly reminded me quite much about Midnight Cinderella (which I am not so fond of as I am of others) although the premise is different here. However, said premise is exactly what got me interested in the game. The basis for this game is the tale of The Beauty and the Beast; a very well-known one, I think. I was curious as to how they would include this into the story, but as of now it looks really promising („• ֊ •„)

The system is really similar to Ikemen Genjiden, so it is not too difficult if you already got used to it before (though it's definitely different from Ikemen Revolution and Ikemen Vampire.) For those who don't know Ikemen Genjiden's system yet: Don't worry, it is really not that hard to figure out!

The visuals are really great and fit the theme extremely well. As for the attire for each suitor, I think most of them are incredibly pretty! σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

The three initial suitors are as expected Leon, Chevalier and Yves. I did think that Leon and Chevalier were obvious choices because they are the leaders of each faction ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ and although I'm not too sure how Yves fits in there, I wasn't especially surprised about him being one of the first suitors.

Moreover, the prologue is fully voiced, which makes it a really worthwhile experience (*￣▽￣)b

So, without any further ado, please enjoy Ikemen Prince's prologue! I hope many people will come to love this game (share some love with Ikemen Live and Ikemen Genjiden too, please) so that we'll see an English version in the future °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

(By the way, Emma is the preset name if you don't choose any other (.❛ ᴗ ❛.) Also, I apologize beforehand for any typos or formatting mistakes. It was... a lot of text (ಥ﹏ಥ))

Part 1 — A Tale That Started in a Bookstore

A sweet love like fluffy, melting cotton candy. A bitter love like black tea without sugar or milk. There are many types of love stories in this world. Every time I come in contact with those, I come to think that I don’t know true love. People my age fall in love, get married and build a happy family. The time when I dreamed of a serious love to the point of giving up myself might have already ended.

(But... still...)

Even today I still yearn for a love I would risk my entire life for.

Emma “... Haah, this book was great as well.”

During the day on a weekday, on the counter of the much less busy than usual bookstore, I gently closed the book.

(There aren’t even customers coming in... well, it’s troubling that they don’t come, but thanks to that I can read a lot of books.)

??? “Emma, did you finish reading?”

Emma “Woah!?”

Suddenly, because of the shadow that filled up my vision, I jumped back from my earlier thoughts.

Emma “Ri– Rio...?”

Rio “Sorry for surprising you. I came to see you today, too.”

Emma “Welcome, Rio. But... shouldn’t you be at work at this time?”

Rio “Ah, I quit the day before yesterday.”

Emma “Huh, so it’s like—... you quit!?”

Rio “That’s right. That’s why I’m in the middle of searching for a highly praised job!”

Emma “Is... is that so... again...”

Because I felt like we had the same conversation just a few months ago, as his friend I got a little worried.

(He’s skillful with his hands, sociable and he has a bit of a clumsy side to him, but he’s still liked by everyone...)

Emma “Why did you quit work?”

Rio “Of course, because I am yours.”

Emma “Excuse me?”

Rio “Because, since you saved me that day, my body and my heart, I will devote everything to you.” “I can’t serve other people.”

Emma “Aaah, yes... in other words, your reason is a secret.”

The sight from the rainy day three years ago when I had picked up the collapsed and nearly dying Rio crossed my mind.

(I always thought so, but it feels like a big dog became attached to me.)

Rio “I’m always serious, okay! By the way, is the owner in?” “I wanted to talk to him in person today because I want to work here with you...”

Emma “He went out to some distant place to go shopping, so I think he won’t return for some time.”

Rio “No way...!”

I was about to tell him to give up— but seeing that Rio looked dejected like a dog with its ears down, I swallowed the words.

Emma “... You may not be able to talk to him directly, but how about asking the owner with a letter next time?”

Rio “Can I!?”

Emma “Sure. There’s also physical work to do in a bookstore, so it would be reassuring to have you here.”

Rio “Thanks, Emma. From now on I will call you Master, okay?”

Emma “No, don’t—”

Surprised by the noise that came without warning, I quickly covered my stomach.

Emma “Did... Did you hear that?”

Rio “Of course! But rest assured. I know you very well, you know.”

Smiling proudly Rio walks up to a cart.

(A cart? Since when has that been here!?)

Rio “I thought this might happen, so— ta-dah!”

The sheet on top of the cart was removed and what came to light was a mountain of food.

Emma “Wow, amazing!”

Candied fruits, truffles with a lot of cheese, rose-shaped baked sweets and apple benier— On that cart were a lot of foods that you often see at festivals.

Rio “This also doubles as my lunch, but I was in a bit of trouble since I bought too much.” “I’d be happy if you eat to your heart’s content.”

Emma “Really? Well then, thanks for the food!”

When I put the baked confectionery into my mouth, I couldn’t help but smile.

Emma “Mmh, this is so good!” “Come to think of it, wasn’t there a festival going on outside?”

Rio “Yeah. Remember, today is the National Foundation Day of the Rhodolite Kingdom!”

Part 2 — Festival of the Rose Country

Emma “Come to think of it, wasn’t there a festival going on outside?”

Rio “Yeah. Remember, today is the National Foundation Day of the Rhodolite Kingdom!” “This year, there are a lot of street stalls as well.”

Emma “I see. Were there any notable booths?”

Rio, while chewing on an apple benier, clapped his hands as he remembered.

Rio “I remember now. There was a stand with old books!”

Emma “What, really?”

Rio “Yeah, isn’t there a traveling merchant who sells books once in a while?”

(That sounds interesting... I’m REALLY interested, but I need to watch the shop...)

Rio “Off you go.”

Emma “Huh...?”

Rio “I’ll watch the shop for you.”

Emma “Are you sure?”

Rio “Whom do you take me for? I’m your future husband after all.”

Emma “... you’ve gotten that wrong, but thanks anyway, Rio!”

Rio “If you want to thank me, then a hug—”

Emma “You can get a handshake.”

I held his big hand tight, shaking it up and down and then released it.

Emma “Okay, I’m off then! You can look forward to a souvenir!”

Rio “All right!” “She’s so cute... I really hope she doesn’t get caught by some bad guys.”

The moment I left the shop, I felt like I heard Rio whisper that.

Street Vendor 1 “If it isn’t Emma! Take this rose-shaped hair ornament to commemorate the National Foundation Day.”

Emma “Wow, that’s lovely! Thank you.”

Street vendor 2 “I also recommend our rose-shaped brooches! It will surely suit you, so I’ll give you one as a present.”

Emma “Really? Thank you so much!”

I carefully put the rose-shaped works on top of the several volumes of books I bought from the traveling merchant just before. When I thanked the generous stall owners and started walking again, banners engraved with “Rhodolite Kingdom—Country of Roses” hung from the buildings along the street flitted.

(Country of Roses... That’s indeed true.)

The flowers that bloomed in the city, the products lined up at the street stalls, and even the castle one could see in the distance were all packed with roses. When I took a deep breath, a mellow scent filling up my chest, the familiar sensation made me smile.

(Okay, let’s see. I bought the books and next I need to get a souvenir for Rio...)

??? “Don’t ya watch where ya goin’? Ya shitty brat!!”

Emma “... what?”

To the dangerous voice that stood in contrast to the beautiful city, not only me but also the people around me stopped their feet. In the middle of the turmoil were a red-faced man and a boy who was sitting on the ground.

Little Boy “Waaah... sob...”

Drunkard “How ‘bout ya beg for forgiveness for crashin’ into me? Hah!?”

(... No, you don’t!)

Because of the highly raised hand, I stepped in between the drunkard and the boy without hesitation.

Drunkard “What do ya want...?”

Emma “What do you think you are doing, raising a hand against a small child like him!?”

Drunkard “Shuddup! That’s got nothin’ to do with ya!”

The clenched fist that had stopped before was now swinging down at me. When I tried to promptly shield myself, the books fell to the ground—

(Huh...?) (It doesn’t hurt?)

??? “That’s as far as you go.”

When I timidly opened my eyes... A man who had stood behind the drunkard before he knew it, strongly held on to the hand reeking of liquor.

Black-haired Man “If you kick up a fuss, I’ll be your opponent... So, how about it?”

Part 3 — Beast and Beast

Black-haired Man “If you kick up a fuss, I’ll be your opponent... So, how about it?”

Emma “Uh...”

We as well as the curious onlookers were swallowed by his unique aura and as if the tumult had been a lie, it grew silent again.

(... What a presence that person has...)

If I had to compare, the feeling of tension around him was the same as if the King of Beasts had escaped from its cage and suddenly appeared in the city. It should have been clear to everyone that this person wasn’t someone you should pick a fight with... Just as the man smiled daringly, the drunkard shook off his hand with a click of his tongue.

Drunkard “Then, why don’t ya bring it on!”

Black-haired Man “Heh, how lively.”

Emma “Please wait! A peaceful solution would—”

Drunkard “Be quiet!”

(No!)

The drunkard loudly kicked a book that was scattered on the ground. The book drew a perfect arc and, just like that, landed in the middle of the road— As if to block the path of a white horse that walked over.

??? “Oh...?”

The man riding on the white horse looked down at the book and then shot the drunkard a piercing glance.

(This person... he has an extraordinary aura as well...)

??? “Are you that impertinent miscreant?”

His sharp, freezing gaze glinted with a cruel light, just like a tiger fixating on its prey. If you happened to make even the littlest mistake, you would lose your short-lived life in that exact moment. It was that kind of tension that made your throat dry up.

(... Hmm? The coat of arms on his saddle...) (Don’t tell me he belongs to the Royal Family!?)

Drunkard “Hah!? Bastard, don’t go lookin’ down on me!”

As if to threaten the drunkard who trampled down on the book, the man from the Royal Family sharpened his look even further.

Male from the Royal Family “I did not plan to take part in such vulgar performance, but is this also a part of the festival’s entertainment?”

Emma “... eh!?”

The royal man drew the sword hanging from his waist—

(It can’t be, he’s planning to kill him!?)

My body moved without me realizing.

Emma “Cut it out already!”

Drunkard “Wah!?”

Before one could see the whole of the sword’s blade, my palm struck the drunkard’s cheek with all the strength I had. The black-haired man and the member of the Royal Family both stared at me in silent disbelief.

Drunkard “Wha—What the heck was that for!”

Emma “Calm down, will you! Or do you really want to be killed!?”

Drunkard “... kill—you mean—...”

When I silently pointed towards the coat of arms on the horse’s saddle, his deep red face turned deathly pale. Taking in the situation, I decisively turned in the direction the man on the horse.

Emma “I sincerely apologize for the trouble! If you can, please excuse what happened just now.”

Although I waited for a response, the man from the Royal Family kept quiet.

Black-haired Man “... ahahaha!”

What broke the tension of this life and death situation was a refreshing laughter.

Black-haired Man “Rest assured. That guy’s not someone who would kill people because of something like this.”

Emma “Eh...?”

Male from the Royal Family “... You have awoken my interest.”

??? “Chevalier, are you done playing?”

A man riding a chestnut horse lined up next to the white one and shrugged his shoulder as if he did that on purpose.

Chevalier “Yes. It was a waste of time.”

(Are we safe...?)

Just when I felt relieved, the sharp, tiger-like gaze was cast on the book still scattered on the ground.

Chevalier “Do these books belong to you?”

Emma “Eh, yes...”

He intently stared at the book on the ground.

(I wonder what’s with him... He’s staring really hard...)

When the man named Chevalier shifted his gaze from the book to myself, the man next to him cheerfully opened his mouth.

??? “What, this time you are hitting on someone?”

Chevalier “There is no merit in wooing a woman...”

Emma “Eh!?”

His sword was drawn in a flowing motion and the tip was thrust at my throat.

(Just... why?)

While swallowing a gasp at the sudden action, he scooped up my jaw with the flat of the blade.

Chevalier “These books, however, are different. Contrary to your body, they have value. You’d do well to remember that.”

(... It’s so painful to breathe...)

My voice wouldn’t come out no matter what—so when I managed to nod, the man returned his sword to its sheath and took hold of the horse’s reins.

(... What a terribly scary person...)

As if chasing after the white horse that stepped forward, the chestnut horse next to it started to move as well. Upon leaving, its rider gave me an amused look but left without saying a word. The moment the tension dissipated breathing, which had been so painful before, became easier again.

(I was wondering how this would end, but... I’m glad that nothing serious happened.)

With a sidelong glance towards the helpless drunkard who sat down, I faced the black-haired man after a short pause.

Emma “Thank you so much for helping me—what should I call you, Mister...?”

Leon “My name is Leon. And you don’t have to be so formal.”

Emma “Thanks then, Leon. Say, are you acquainted with the member of the Royal Family from earlier?”

Leon “Yeah, but it’s not like we ever talked that much.”

Leon picked up the books and rose-shaped decorations that were scattered on the ground in front of me.

Leon “Here you go.”

Emma “Thank you.”

(It seems neither the books nor the ornaments are damaged.)

Leon “You really love books, don’t you.”

Emma “Yes, because the stories are more interesting than reality. But more importantly...”

As I kneeled down beside the child who wiped his eyes while sobbing, Leon also lined up next to him.

Leon “Did you stop crying, shortie?”

Little Boy “Sniffle... Mama...”

Leon “So you’re lost... Then, come with me.”

Little Boy “... You’ll... bring me to Mama?”

Leon “Yeah, I’ll look for her for you.”

Leon lifted his small body with ease.

(Somehow, he seems like a totally different person than before.)

The beast-like tension around him had vanished and instead he was wrapped up in a friendly atmosphere.

Little Boy “Um, big sis... thanks for saving me.”

Emma “It was nothing. I’m just glad that you’re not hurt.”

Leon “The same goes for you. So, should we go?”

Emma “Wait, I’ll also—’

Before I could even offer to help out with searching for the boy’s mother, Leon briskly walked away while waving his hand.

(At first I thought he would be scary, but... I guess he is a nice guy after all.) (If we happen to meet once more, I have to thank him again.)

Turning my back towards the castle, visible in the distance, I once again walked through the city, where the hustle and bustle started to return.

—... at the same time.

??? “I found you at last.”

Part 4 — The Devil’s Summon

??? “I found you at last.”

A devilish smile played on the lips of the shadow hiding in a back alley.

??? “It seems training her will be worthwhile... hehehe.”

Without noticing the shadow moving about in unknown places... By the time the sky was dyed red, I finally arrived at the front of the bookstore.

(Finding a souvenir took more time than I expected. I hope Rio isn’t angry with me.)

When I opened the door while thinking of how to apologize to Rio—

??? “Welcome back, Emma.”

The person inside, sitting on the counter with his legs crossed, wasn’t Rio but a man I never saw before. I stared at him without responding to his greeting. The man simply smiled back at me. I closed the door to cut off the sinister aura I felt on my skin.

(... Just now, wasn’t there a devil-like person inside?) (No, it might have been my imagination. There’s no way there could be a devil after all.) (I’m certain I just mistook Rio for somebody else... At least I hope so.)

I took a deep breath and opened the door once more— A man with a devilish smile stood right before my eyes.

Devil-like Man “That is an extraordinary greeting, don’t you think?”

Emma “.... Mmnnh!”

The very moment I turned on my heels and tried to escape, an arm was put around my waist and my mouth was blocked.

(Why, what’s happening!?)

Devil-like Man “Please keep quiet. Otherwise, I can’t allow you to breathe.”

His words shocked me to the point I became speechless.

Devil-like Man “Due to certain circumstances I have come to pick you up.”

With a snap of the fingers of the man clad in black, multiple men surrounded me.

(Wait! Those clothes... aren’t those guards from the castle!?)

Devil-like Man “For the time being, I will take you with me.”

Emma “Mnnh!!!”

(Wait a minute, wait! What did I do...!?)

Without understanding anything, I was taken to a carriage that stopped outside—

(Wha—...)

Before I knew what was happening, the place I had been taken to was the front of the majestic castle I had only seen from a distance.

(How beautiful...) (Wait, it’s not the time for that! Why was I brought to such a place!?)

In a daze, I looked up at the castle that was so big that its tip seemed to reach up farther than the clouds, when—

??? “Hey, you are in the way.”

The surprise shook me out of my daze. I lowered my gaze when someone tapped my shoulder. What I saw there were two men dressed in gorgeous outfits.

??? “Heh, your looks aren’t half bad. Yvie, do you know her?”

Yves “I absolutely do not know any ordinary women like her. Are you sure it isn’t a woman you dumped in the past, Nokto?”

(Who are they?)

Part 5 — Eight Wild Beasts

??? “Heh, your looks aren’t half bad. Yvie, do you know her?”

Yves “I absolutely don’t know any ordinary women like her. Are you sure it isn’t a woman you dumped in the past, Nokto?”

(Who are they?)

Because of the scrutinizing gaze of the two people who drew closer, I subconsciously stepped back.

Nokto “Huh, you are really on guard... I wonder if the cause of that is because you were dumped in the past.”

Yves “Hah? So she really is a woman you threw away in the past? You really are the worst, you frivolous womanizer.”

Emma “Um... You guys, just who on earth—...“

When I cut into the seemingly uncontrollable conversation, the man called Yves exaggeratedly opened his eyes.

Yves “... Don’t tell me, you don’t know who we are?”

Emma “At the very least, it’s not like we are acquainted...”

Nokto “What, so she wasn’t my woman after all.”

Yves “I don’t care about that! Not knowing who I am is something that shouldn’t happen on any terms!”

(Woah, what the—!?)

With a bloodcurdling look Yves reached out to me. And as if to block that, a black shadow lithely fluttered about.

Devil-like Man “Your Royal Highnesses, Prince Nokto and Prince Yves, I will introduce you later.”

Nokto “So you are here. Is that girl a guest?”

Devil-like Man “That is correct. After knowing this, if you aren’t a fool, please take a guess as to what reason you are gathered for.”

Yves “... ah.”

Nokto “What, so it’s like that.”

(... What is it?)

Devil-like Man “If you understand, then please make haste towards the round table.”

Nokto “Sure, sure. I got it.”

Nokto waved his hand as he passed way too close next to me. The moment I breathed in relief, my hand was grabbed from behind.

Nokto “I’ll play with you next time, okay?”

Emma “P-Play...?”

Snickering with a seductive smile engraved on his lips, this time around Nokto really left.

(... He seems to be an incredibly flippant person.)

Yves, on the other hand, pointed his index finger at me when his eyes met mine.

Yves “I will never ever in my life recognize such a mediocre person as Belle!”

Emma “‘Belle’?”

Turning away like a cat with a ‘hmph’ of disapproval, Yves also entered the castle.

(Just where did I hear the name ‘Belle’ before? I can’t quite remember...)

Devil-like Man “Well then, Emma. Please don’t dawdle about, we will go as well.”

Emma “Wah, wait a minute...!”

The man grabbed my hand and, as if chasing the other two, we advanced into the castle. After passing through a massive door, we found ourselves in a stairwell-like hall.

(Wow, this looks as if I got lost in a picture book...)

The roses that were in full bloom and the decorations as well... Whichever you chose, it had reached the level of fine arts. For commoners it was a sight far beyond their ability that left one dizzy.

(I’m so obviously sticking out like a sore thumb.)

When my feet stopped due to the uneasiness, a suspicious look entwined me like a snake.

Devil-like Man “Oh dear, is this an expression of insubordination?”

Emma “This isn’t defiance or anything... But isn’t it time you started explaining? Who exactly are you?”

Devil-like Man “Yes... Now that you mention it, I haven’t formally introduced myself yet.”

Easier than I expected, the man released my hand while smiling calmly.

Sariel “I am called Sariel. My occupation is Government Official of the Royal Court.”

Emma “Government Official... of the Royal Court?”

Sariel “You may have been alarmed, but please rest assured. I will train you to become emotionally attached to me.”

(Train me...!?)

It seemed that rather than calling him with the imposing title of Government Official of the Royal Court, labeling him as a mysterious devil fitted him more.

Emma “Before I’m being trained, I’d like to go home, though...”

Sariel “Then that means you give up on living, right?”

He spoke with a devilish smile, as if it didn’t matter whatever I said.

Emma “... There is one thing I need to know. Rio, the one who should have been at the store,... He is safe, right?”

Sariel “Yes, of course. If you would kindly listen to what I say, I will guarantee his life at least.”

(In any case, it seems I can only obediently obey him.)

Emma “... I understand.”

When I nodded, Sariel who had brought his face closer, put the hair covering my cheek behind my ear—

Sariel “Hehehe, I cannot wait to make such a defiant person surrender.”

(... I can’t believe someone like that is a Government Official of the Royal Court...)

Unconsciously glaring back at him, Sariel gave me an amused smile and started walking again. This time, I followed the black-clothed back of my own volition.

Sariel “Now then, we have arrived.”

When the two guards standing in front of the room opened the double door— The atmosphere changed.

(What... Is this...?)

Eight men were surrounding the enshrined round table in the center of the spacious room. Just as footsteps resounded in the room, their gazes pierced me all at once. I felt so overwhelmed at the sudden unwanted attention that it left me speechless. With eight sharp glares directed at me, I stood stock still like a small animal before a beast.

(Those people are...)

Under those ferocious and wild, yet noble gazes... Were the people I met in front of the castle a moment ago, As well as the ones I saw back in town... And then...

Leon “Heh, who’d have thought we meet again.”

Emma “No way, Leon!?”

Part 6 — What the Princes Talk About

Leon “Heh, who’d have thought we meet again.”

Emma “No way, Leon!?”

(What... Is the meaning of this?)

Leon, whom I had thought to have the same simple tastes as the townspeople only a few hours ago, was now wearing refined clothes and loftily included in the group at the round table.

Sariel “You must not do that, Emma. You cannot talk in that way when you speak to the princes.”

Leon “Don’t worry. I already told you that you don’t need to be so formal.”

Emma “Leon, you are a prince?”

Leon “Yeah. All the guys here, without exception, are princes.”

(I really... Want this to be a dream...)

My body, which was unexpectedly about to collapse, was supported from behind where Sariel was. But what I felt from the hand that grasped my shoulder wasn’t kindness but rather an additional blow that said, ‘There is no place for you to run.’

Sariel "Your Highnesses, thank you very much for gathering here." “From now on, as I conveyed the other day, we will hold the approval ceremony of the ‘Belle-System.’

(‘Belle-System’? ‘Approval ceremony’...?)

Sariel “To begin with, this girl is called Emma.” “Since this is your first time meeting each other, would you please introduce yourselves starting with His Highness, Prince Luke?”

Luke “Too troublesome.”

Sariel “Your Highness.”

Luke “It’s fine, if I just do it, right?”

The man who was sitting closest to me listlessly opened his mouth.

Luke “Luke Randolph. I’m the seventh... no, more like eighth prince.”

Nokto “I’m seventh in line, Nokto Klein. You can always come over to my room, okay?” “And over here is my twin brother—“

Licht “Sixth, Licht Klein.”

Yves “The fifth prince, Yves Kloss. I have no choice but to tell you my name. Don’t address me casually, though.”

Jin “I’m Jin Grandet. I’m the eldest brother of these guys, so that makes me the first prince.” “I’m sure it will be hard with all those problem children, but, well, keep them company in moderation.”

Clavis “I am the third in line, Clavis Lelouch. You can call me Clavis.” “The show earlier was quite entertaining. Don’t you think so as well, Cheva?”

Chevalier “Nonsense.” “However, I will teach you my name considering that you escaped harm with that courageous display. Chevalier Michel, second prince.”

Leon “So I’m the last one.” “Leon Dompteur. I’m this country’s fourth prince. Again, nice to meet you, Emma.”

Emma “Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you.” “Although I was called here... I don’t completely understand the situation. What is this ‘Belle-System’ in the first place?”

Yves “Huh? You didn’t even know that and still shamelessly came to the castle?”

Emma “I was downright kidnapped, thank you very much!”

Luke “Sariel, did you really kidnap her?”

Sariel “Please refrain from saying anything that would harm my reputation. I acted upon consent.”

Emma “Upon consent—?”

Sariel “You agreed, did you not?”

My meager resistance was ruthlessly cut off and I swallowed my words.

Sariel “Since long ago, the chosen citizen of this nation is to select the next king in our Rhodolite Kingdom—“ “That is your duty by becoming ‘Belle’.”

(Ah, I remember now.)

Emma “If I remember right, the name Belle means ‘a person with a beautiful heart’, right?”

Sariel “Yes, that is correct.”

(I totally forgot that since the king is replaced only every few decades.) (... wait.)

Emma “Are you telling me... that I am that Belle?”

Sariel “Haven’t I said that since before?” “I want you to select the new king out of these eight princes.”

Part 7 — Belle

Sariel “I want you to select the new king out of these eight princes.”

(Choose the king? ME!?)

That crazy story was a shock like receiving a heavy blow to the head.

Emma “Why, why me? Deciding who will be king is a serious matter for a country!”

Jin “That’s what I want to ask as well. What made you choose her, Sariel?”

Sariel “The slap she performed.”

Jin “... Haha, so that’s it.”

(With slap he can’t mean...)

Emma “Sariel, you also were at the festival venue?”

Sariel “How perceptive. I was searching the town high and low in order to find a candidate for Belle...” “But when you hit that scoundrel in His Highness Prince Chevalier’s stead right away, I was charmed by that ability.”

Emma “At–, at that time, I just desperately...”

Sariel “For humans, the more desperate we are, the more we bare our true nature.” “Your excellent ability to assess the situation and your decisiveness, as well as not to forsake the scoundrel, and your just and beautiful heart—“ “You are undoubtedly a person of exceptional talent fitting to receive the title of ‘Belle’.”

(Oh, no. No, no, just no.)

Sariel looked satisfied, but I, on the other hand, felt my uneasiness grow rapidly.

Sariel “Catching me eye is something to take pride in for generations.”

Emma “Um, I’m very grateful for what you’re saying, but accepting such an important task like being ‘Belle’ isn’t—“

Nokto “If you refuse, Sariel’s gonna cry, you know?”

Clavis “I think I really want to see that, but... There’s certainly no time for that.”

Emma “What do you mean?”

Clavis “Seeing that His Majesty the King has suddenly departed, it is necessary to quickly decide on a new king, don’t you agree?”

Emma “Suddenly means... the king has passed away!?”

Sariel “Your Highness... Wasn’t this information supposed to be concealed from the public for the time being?”

Clavis “Oops, seems I was a bit careless there. It’s fine if you cry, Sariel.”

Sariel “... Tsk.”

(Did he just click his tongue at a prince!?)

Sariel “Hehe, the inherent nature has shown itself.”

Emma “... Why are you hiding such an important thing from the public?”

Even though Sariel was carrying a sour look on his face, he took a deep breath as if he was resigning. So, he pointed his gaze towards the map hanging on the wall.

Sariel “The Rhodolite Kingdom is a small kingdom that is surrounded on all sides by three other countries.” “We have built comparatively good relationships with our ally, the country of Benitoite, and the neutral country of Jade.” “However, the great country of Obsidian alone is vigilantly eyeing our Rhodolite Kingdom for an opportunity to aim at our territory.” “I presume you have knowledge about that much?”

Emma “I do...”

Sariel “If the news about our King’s passing were to spread before our kingdom’s structure is stabilized, it is very much possible that they would take advantage of the disorder to invade our country.”

Hearing Sariel say something like that had me speechless with horror.

Sariel “When His Majesty the King actually became ill, the Obsidian, who had gotten wind of the information from somewhere, invaded the border.” “That led to the situation where the princes of our country proceeded towards the battlefield themselves to drive them away.” “Do you understand what that means?”

(Thinking about it calmly, of course I do.)

In this time when even the princes rush to the battlefield as soldiers—the weight of knowing such a secret made me break out in cold sweat.

Emma “... I won’t tell anyone about His Majesty’s passing.”

Sariel “I fear simply promising that will not be enough. There is one more thing I want to hear.”

Emma “... That’s...”

Sariel “Just as His Highness Prince Clavis has said, we need to immediately choose a new king.” “Right now, your existence is already affecting the life or death of our country.” “You will accept the position of ’Belle”, will you not?”

Emma “I do understand the circumstances, but as expected I’m not suited to—“

Sariel “Well then, Your Highnesses, Prince Leon and Prince Chevalier, if you approve of her as ‘Belle’ then please raise your hands.”

(You just ignore what I said!?)

Chevalier raised his hand before anyone else.

Nokto “Oh, how fast, Your Highness.”

Luke “Is it okay for a leader to be so half-minded?”

Chevalier “Naturally, since it doesn’t concern me who will become Belle.”

Emma “What does he mean, ‘leader’?”

Sariel “The princes are divided into two major factions, centered on Prince Leon and Prince Chevalier.” “His Highness Prince Leon’s faction who value domestic affairs and His Highness Prince Chevalier’s faction who value foreign affairs. That is about all it amounts to, I guess.” “Since the consensus of each of the princes is polarized, the resolution is often entrusted to Prince Leon and Prince Chevalier.”

(I see... So that’s why he asked the two of them right now.) (No, more importantly—)

Without regard for my opinion, Sariel continued to talk.

Sariel “What about you, Prince Leon?”

Everyone’s eyes gathered at him.

Leon “Emma, let’s hear what you intend to do.”

Part 8 — A Tale Yet to be Seen

Leon “Emma, let’s hear what you intend to do.”

Emma “I want...”

When I tried to say that it would be impossible, just as I had said many times before... My words were absorbed by Leon’s ascertaining eyes.

Leon “I think you have the capability to determine the next king.”

Emma “... That’s not true. I mean, there’s nothing special about me. I’m just a commoner.”

Leon “All of the former ‘Belle’s’ have been commoners.”

Emma “No way...”

Leon “Why do you think does something like the ‘Belle-System’ exist in the first place?”

Emma “... I don’t know.”

When I answered honestly, Leon raised the edges of his mouth.

Leon “Then, do you know what the people from the Royal Family are called out on the streets?”

(That, of course I know.)

Emma “—‘Noble beasts’, right?”

Leon “Yeah. A long time ago, the people of this nation assessed the inhumane royals who struggled for power all the time as ‘beasts’. But since then, those who inherited the blood of the Royal Family have come to be called ‘noble beasts’.”

(I remember that as a kid, I once thought that the members of the Royal Family were all densely covered in thick hair.)

Emma “But that is just an old story, isn’t it?”

Leon “No, every single one of the guys present is a beast who only holds the desire to act in his self-interest.” “Devouring people for their ambitions and ideals... Even that was probably done without batting a damn eyelid.”

(Saying they devoured people feels like a bit too much...)

That was what I thought, but the eyes of the princes were too fierce to just laugh it off.

Leon “In fact, we princes are sometimes referred to as ‘beasts’ when slaughtering enemies on the battlefield.” “Do you think the guys in front of you can still turn into good boys, though?”

In that moment, I didn’t know how to answer his question.

(I still don’t know anything about them. And each of these guys might seem like a beast on the surface.)

Leon “That’s why we need a ‘Belle’.” “So that we can turn from beast to human through the example of someone from among the citizens with a particularly beautiful heart.” “Moreover, only a human with a pure and righteous heart can choose a ‘man’ and not a beast as the king, don’t you think?”

Emma “Although that may be true, I don’t have such a noble heart.”

Sariel “Oh my, am I right to assume you don’t trust my word?”

Emma “No way, I wouldn’t dare...!”

Sariel “Of course you would not, right? You are, after all, ‘Belle’ who owns a pure, righteous, and beautiful heart. My word is absolute.”

(He’s so pushy...)

Leon “The rest is up to you. If you really don’t want to, then I’m willing to push this matter aside...” “However, you said you love stories, right?”

Emma “... Well, I did say that, but...”

For some reason, Leon grinned at me as if he was sure of his victory.

Leon “Doesn’t choosing a king seem like a much more interesting story than the ones in books?”

(When he says it like that...)

Leon “Furthermore, you are the story’s protagonist. Such an opportunity doesn’t come often, does it?”

(... Leon’s really cunning, phrasing his words like that.)

The age where I wished for something fierce like a fictional story was long past. But in truth... While the people around me are changing, I am the only one who remains unchanged. I was always desperately wishing for something that would rewrite my ordinary life.

(I have a lot of insecurities and the responsibility is heavy. I know I can’t do this with half-hearted feelings.) (Still... Something may change.)

The thought of a yet-unseen tale made my heart beat faster and my body get hot.

Leon “What will you do, Emma?”

(What I want to do is...)

As not to lose the resolution I gathered, I clasped my hands tightly—

Emma “... I want to do it.”

When I told him my unadorned feelings in those few words, Leon directly raised his hand.

Sariel “With that, it is decided I presume.”

Without letting the atmosphere linger, Chevalier briskly left his seat.

Leon “You’re going already?”

Chevalier “Our business is over.”

Clavis “Wouldn’t it be better to flatter Belle a bit?”

Chevalier “That’s just a waste of my time.” “It doesn’t matter who Belle chooses. It won’t change the fact that I will become the future king.”

His words had me so baffled that the only thing that left my mouth was a startled sound. Chevalier’s ice-cold gaze that seemed to freeze everything it touched caught me.

Chevalier “If you get in my way, I will dispose of you. That is what I plan to do.”

His cruel words left me speechless. Similar to the time when he thrust his sword at my throat, just his gaze made it painful to breathe.

(This person... He is terrifying.)

Clavis, who followed after the leaving Chevalier, tapped my shoulder as he passed me.

Clavis “I’m sorry for Cheva’s behavior.” “Well, I don’t have interest in the throne, but I like amusing things. Please entertain me with your way of life, okay little girl?”

While I was captivated by his brilliant smile, the footsteps of those two grew distant and they disappeared behind the door.

Sariel “Really now, it seems that I haven’t disciplined them enough.”

Next to Sariel, who sighed deeply, this time a hand was raised, waving.

Nokto “Hey, Sariel. Got a question.”

Sariel “Please go ahead and ask, Your Highness.”

Nokto “Belle choosing a king means, to put it bluntly, the guy who wins this girl over is going to become the king, right?”

Sariel “Plainly spoken, that is what will happen.”

Obtaining Sariel’s consent, Nokto turned his face to me—

Nokto “Well, since I’ll seduce you, let’s get along, okay?”

(He’s going to do what!?)

Part 9 — The King and the Rose

Nokto “Well, since I’ll seduce you, let’s get along, okay?”

(He’s going to do what!?)

Emma “That would be troub—“

Sariel “You are truly quick to understand, Your Highness.”

Yves “Ugh, I can’t listen to this anymore!” “To seduce her... Nokto, as a prince, aren’t you lacking pride and self-awareness?”

Nokto “If that’s what you think, don’t interfere. Got it, Yvie?”

Yves “Why would I have to listen to what you say?”

Ignoring me, Sariel and the princes continued talking.

Jin “What, even Yves ended up wanting to seduce her? You’re quite a busy one, aren’t you?”

Yves “Even if she is a commoner, for the time being she is Belle. She is necessary for me to be deemed as worthy of the throne.”

Emma “Then pick a different way to be acknowledged!”

Jin “Ooh, that’s an extremely respectable opinion.”

Luke “How should I put it, you should stop it soon. Don’t you see you’re troubling her?”

As Luke stood up from his seat, the others became quiet.

Luke “Emma... was it, right? If something happens, you can rely on me.”

Emma “Thank you very much, Your Highness.”

Luke “Stop that. Just Luke is fine and you don’t have to be polite.”

Emma “But...”

Luke “You’re addressing Leon familiarly as well, aren’t you? Drop the title with me, too. I don’t like it anyway.”

Emma “... Okay, then I’ll call you Luke.”

Luke “Good.”

Yves “Wait a minute! Didn’t you end up seducing her as well!?”

Jin “No, you got that wrong. That’s just how Luke’s natural character is. You guys as well, do the best you can.”

Jin took a lollipop out of his breast pocket and put it in his mouth.

Leon “Jin, do you think this is other people’s business?”

Jin “Yeah. Because I don’t give a shit about something like ascending to the throne.”

(Give a shit, he said...)

Nokto “I’m fine with whatever, so as a sign of our acquaintanceship, just call me Nokto, okay?”

Yves “I won’t allow that, understood? Make sure to address me with my title.”

Jin “Well, I dislike all that formal phrasing. Call me whatever you like.”

Emma “Then, I will call you Nokto, Yves and Jin.”

Yves “... Hey, are you even listening to what people are saying?”

Licht “... So stupid.”

(... What’s with him?)

Licht, who had only barely opened his mouth other than for the self-introduction, stood up.

Yves “Licht! Don’t always say things that push people away. Do you want your friends to leave?”

Licht “There weren’t any from the start. And I don’t need any.”

Yves “Because you’re again trying to be alone immediately—“ “Ah, wait, Licht! Where are you going!?”

Licht “Returning to my room.”

Nokto “Licht... You don’t have any interest in the throne?”

Licht “... No need to answer.”

Casting down his eyes, Licht left the room just like that.

(Somehow... He seems like someone who is hard to talk to.)

Yves “Really now, that guy...”

Emma “Wanting to be the king, not wanting to be the king... You really have various opinions, don’t you?”

Leon “Even though we are all half-brothers, our thoughts and everything else differ.”

Emma “By the way, what about you, Leon?”

Grinning, he returned a smile that said more than words could.

Leon “Determine with your own eyes whether I’m capable of becoming the king, okay?”

Emma “... All right.”

When I nodded in agreement, the sound of hands clapping quieted the place.

Sariel “I apologize for saying this during your pleasant talk. However, since there is a place I wish to show her, let’s end this meeting here.”

With Sariel leading the way, we walked into a room even more gorgeous than the one with the round table.

(This... It must be the audience hall.) (What to do...? I’ve come to an incredible place.)

What I saw at the end of the red carpet were only the throne and... In addition to that, a rose inside a glass dome.

Emma “What is that rose for?”

Sariel “For generations, on the occasion of His Majesty the King finding his demise, it has become the custom to prepare a rose.” “The rule is that the next king has to be determined by the time all of its petals have fallen.”

Emma “So there is a time limit.”

Sariel “Indeed. This rose is a special breed which continues to bloom for approximately one month.”

(One month... Within that period a new king has to be determined.)

Sariel stopped his feet near the throne and looked back at me.

Sariel “Other than that, all of the terms and conditions concerning the Belle-System are recorded in this covenant.”

(Sorry?)

With a snap of his fingers, the guards who briskly appeared, carrying a table made from oak trees and several sheets of paper completely covered with unusually small letters.

Emma “You’re not seriously telling me I have to read all this, right?”

Sariel “You are asking me something so blatantly obvious?”

(Your true nature again!?)

Sariel “If you have looked over all of this, please sign the covenant.”

Emma “You are sure saying some devilish things.”

Sariel “Because it is necessary. Once you have signed, I will guide you to your room.”

Emma “Okay... Wait, what?”

Sariel “What is the matter?”

Part 10 — Beauty and the Beast’s Covenant

Sariel “Once you have signed, I will guide you to your room.”

Emma “Okay... Wait, what?”

Sariel “What is the matter?”

Emma “Sariel, did you just say you will guide me to a room?”

Sariel “That is what I said.”

Emma “MY room?”

Sariel “Where else would I take you?”

Emma “To my home back in the town, perhaps?”

Sariel “A room for you has been prepared by the Royal Court.” “Because until the one who was selected as Belle has finished their duty, they are to live inside the castle.”

(That can’t be—)

My face grew pale at those unhesitatingly uttered words.

Emma “But that is troubling! What will become of the shop!?”

Sariel “I have already contacted the owner and arranged for a temporary employee.”

Emma “What about the mountain of food that was inside the shop!?”

Sariel “Everything has been moved to your room.”

Emma “Then, where’s Rio!?”

Sariel “Of course, right over here.”

When Sariel snapped his fingers—

Rio “Emma, it’s been a few hours! I really wanted to see you.”

Emma “What the—!?”

Rio who suddenly entered the audience hall was dressed like I had never seen him before.

(He looks like a butler... Or rather, he’s like a real one.)

Emma “Rio... What’s with that get-up?”

Rio “I decided to officially get a job here.”

Emma “Inside the castle!?”

Sariel “There is a single employee benefit in the Belle-System. Pets are allowed inside the Royal Castle.”

Emma “With pet you’re referring to...”

Sariel “This pet of yours, of course.” “When I entered the bookstore, he was barking so persistently that he didn’t leave me a choice but to take him along.”

Rio “Why, Emma was suddenly chosen as a candidate for Belle, so I was just a bit flustered, you know.” “I’m really glad that Sariel is such a reasonable person.”

It was the first time a saw Sariel at a loss for words.

Emma “Sariel, aren’t you looking a bit tired?”

Sariel “Of course I am not... hehe.”

(Something must have happened between those two.)

A small cough, as if going back to square one, resounded in the place.

Sariel “Since he’s just right, I will let him be your caretaker.” “Properly follow your master’s orders, hound.”

Rio “Yes! Emma, whatever happens, I will protect you. So don’t worry, okay?”

Emma “Thanks, Rio. And... Sorry for getting you involved.”

Rio “Not at all. Rather, to think that the day actually came when I can call you Master... Aah, it’s like a dream come true!”

Emma “You’re not calling me that, right?”

(But... Having the usual Rio here with me is really reassuring.)

Sariel “Well now, play with your pet later and quickly read the terms and conditions, please.”

Urged to do so, I once again attempted my fight with the documents... But with this pace it would be late at night by the time I finished reading.

(Aah, seriously... Reading all of this is impossible after all!) (Enough already, I’ll take my time reading it later.)

I flipped through the document in a hurry and reached for the prearranged quill pen. When I wrote down my name on the covenant, Sariel traced around the letters in satisfaction.

Sariel “Thank you very much. With this you have now officially become Belle.” “Our princes are an assembly of peculiar people who can’t be dealt with by ordinary means.” “But, please, choose a good king with your pure heart, will you?”

Emma “... Yes. I will, without fail, show you that I can fulfill my duty.”

This was the first time I felt like Sariel was sincerely smiling.

Rio “Okay, Emma. This is a bit sudden, but shall we go to our new love nest?”

Emma “You’re talking about your own room, right? Thanks, I’ll count on you to lead the way.”

(I have a lot of worries about this, but...) (Since this is something I chose myself, I will never regret it.)

When I looked back, one of the deep crimson petals had fallen inside the glass dome.

(Getting to know them, getting to know the country... and determining the king.)

After Emma and Rio had left the throne room.

Sariel “I think I will be truly busy from now on.”

With the wind that blew through the door left wide open, the letters spelled on the very last page of the overlapping official papers which would later on be what severely disturb our fates were revealed...

Covenant Clause 99 『After the selection period has finished, absolutely any relationship between “Belle” and the Crown is prohibited.』

But this was something nobody knew just yet at that time—...

[localtopegg]

1-30 for the video game ask. you know i had to do it to ya

I literally had to make a google doc for this, there was so many questions, cause formatting machine broke here:

Do you try to stay away from walkthroughs? 🥚 Aggressively. Walkthroughs, guides and videos are a last resort.

Company you're always loyal to? 🥚 I mean Nintendo's pretty high up there but I'm gaining a LOT of respect for Double Fine lately as well!

Best game you've ever played? 🥚 Super. Paper. Mario.

Worst game you've ever played? 🥚 Ninjabread Man... Yes. Ye's I've played that shovelware nightmare.

A popular series/game you just can't get into no matter how much you try? 🥚 I've never been able to get into most fighting games of any kind. Street fighter, tekken, smash brothers- Though I'm trying my hardest with smash, since my little brother is heavily attached to it and I'm heavily attached to him.

A game that's changed you the most? 🥚 There's a few games actually! Paper Mario 64, Pokemon Ultra Moon and Hollow Knight! - Paper Mario because it was my first introduction to dark themes hidden under a bright color of paint! Taught me that you don't necessarily need the world ending to have something scary! - Pokemon cause it's kinda been my first bold step out against my religious household's views. It was a good dose on independence! - Hollow Knight is smaller, admittedly... It introduced me to metroidvanias and speedrunning in a way that I can actually have fun! Cheating but not also is kinda fun, haha!

A game you'll never forget? 🥚 Club Penguin! Yes, I'm counting that here! That was my childhood and would probably have done what Paper Mario did if it had come first in my life!

Best soundtrack? 🥚 For those who don't know, I'm a HUGE music fan, so choosing one OST is kinda hard for me! That being said, I have a soft spot for both Mario Galaxy OSTs, A Hat in Time, Psychonauts and recently Paper Mario: The Oragami King.

A game you turn your volume off every time you play it? 🥚 The World Ends With You, after some of my father's comments on the OST, sadly...

A game you've completely given up on? 🥚 Granny Simulator. I don't have anyone to play it with.

Hardest game you've played? 🥚 Hollow Knight by far. You try to 112% Steel Soul that shit and get back to me.

Shortest time you've beaten a game in? 🥚 Maybe an hour? I beat Tattletail in about that time.

A game you were the most excited for when it wasn't released yet? 🥚 PSYCHONAUTS 2 PSYCHONAUTS 2 P S Y C H O N A U G H T S 2

A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? 🥚 The Paper Mario Franchise as a whole honestly

Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? 🥚 Hmm, Genshin Impact and Xenoblade Chronicles! I think they'd mesh nicely!

Character you've hated most? From what game? 🥚 Gosh, genuinely hate? I've never hated any character... Okay maybe that's a lie. I don't hate him anymore but as a kid I HATED Huff'n'Puff from Paper Mario 64. Specifically his fight. He healed himself all the time and the amount of support puffs he could have. As a kid I could NEVER beat him and still have yet to go back to the fight. I know what to do nowadays, but the problem is getting the game.

What game do you never tell people you play? 🥚 ... Cookie Run? Maybe Fruit Ninja?

A game you wish your friends knew about? 🥚 SUPER! PAPER! MARIO!!! And Bugsnax!

Which game do you think deserves a revival? 🥚 Xenoblade Chronicles and Style Savvy!

What was the first video game you ever played? 🥚 Super Mario World for the SNES!

How old were you when you first played a video game? 🥚 Maaaaybe 5? 7?? I was very young, but my brother was younger!

If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? 🥚 Pokémon! I would love to try my hand at a league or even just having an in-person companion in my life.

Biggest disappointment you've had in gaming? 🥚 The Meat Circus

Casual, Hardcore, or in the middle? 🥚 It entirely depends on the game, honestly.

Be honest; have you ever used cheats (like ActionReplay or Gameshark)? 🥚 I never have, to my knowledge. That was more my brother's thing. I have only ever used "cheat codes" that were in a game before, and even then it was just to less around and not actually beat the game.

Handheld or console? 🥚 Computer, actually. I find myself on here more than I do my DS or Switch, mainly cause of my brother and father. I'm always anxious they'll come down here and be upset that I'm on the switch so I just. Don't touch it ever anymore. And my DS is currently Pokemon Nuzlocke Only, so I can hide the game in it.

Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? 🥚 Mother. Fucking. Huff'n'Puff Fight!!!! Story wise, recently Genshin Impact's been tugging at my heartstrings some.

Which character's clothes do you wish you owned the most? 🥚 I never actually thought about this. Mainly cause I'm not exactly most character's sizes... Some of the NPC outfits in Genshin Impact look really comfy though!

Which is more important, gameplay or story? 🥚 Both are integral to a game! Without a good story, it doesn't matter how good the gameplay is, your players won't have motivation to keep playing. Without good gameplay, a good story will feel more drawn out and disjointed. It's incredibly vital to have both!

A game that hasn't been localized in your country that you think should be localized? 🥚 MOTHER 3! GIVE US AN OFFICIAL RELEASE NONTENDO!!!

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM Revised Manga chapters 99 - 100 Review: Not today, Satan

Hoo hoo hoo.  When Murata said he had a bit of work to do for the volume, we had no idea just how extensive it was!   There isn’t a single chapter appearing in volume 22 that hasn’t been edited or reworked.  And the mighty struggle between Child Emperor and Phoenixman has changed unrecognisably!  Shall we go?

A bit of a difference, yes

Story: forget what you thought you knew

The first change comes nearly right away.  Rather than leaving Waganma behind, Child Emperor keeps him in Brave Giant’s backpack, freeing both hands to fight.   The fight between Phoenixman and Brave Giant is interesting, but it’s much lighter going than before  for a very specific reason: the monster sees a connection between himself and Child Emperor and is hoping to keep the costume the hero is wearing intact so he can recruit a fellow costumed monster.

And now it gets freaky.  Phoenixman can summon another costume-wearer to a timeless spiritual space in which they can talk.  Don’t ask me how!   Phoenixman latches onto Child Emperor’s desire to find someplace where he’s trusted and his efforts are appreciated right away,  coming terrifyingly close to converting him into a monster -- until he harshes the vibe with a terrible name for the monster he’d like Child Emperor to become.  It made my skin crawl, how close he came.

what a terrifying monster!  Had he stopped speaking with the above words, he’d have created a monster indeed!

They resume fighting, and eventually Child Emperor smashes him through the floor as in the previous versions, which doesn’t have the effect of killing him so he can reincarnate.  Instead, it ‘just’ launches them both through several floors, through the lake of death, and down lower still. The water sweeps Saitama along as well, and all of them fetch up in a charnel house, where all the dead Subterraneans have ended up.

Phoenixman makes a second attempt to persuade Child Emperor. This time he gets closer, sowing seeds of doubt about the goodness of the Hero Association higher-ups into Child Emperor’s head quite directly -- there’s no need for them to talk.  Whatever it is he reveals to the boy, it is quite grisly.  Thankfully, the spell is broken by Saitama who just bashes into their spiritual realm to declare his disapproval of what the monster is doing, which breaks the spell.

no traumatising children on my watch!  Trouble is, Child Emperor isn’t going to forget whatever it is that he’s been told -- this is going to be trouble later.

Just as they snap back to the real world, another wonderful intervention occurs.  Zombieman calls, ostensibly to tell Child Emperor about his speculation about the possibility of the Monster Association using the Metal Knight to build robots of their own proving right,  but really to thank and encourage him.  Giving him the very thing he’d been so desperate to hear from the start.

Since he’d been unable to persuade Child Emperor to turn into a monster spontaneously, Phoenixman tried the other way: by dropping a monster cell into the machine so that all the boy had to do would be to take a bite. It’s a good thing that monster cells cannot work unless they’re consumed of one’s own free will.   Despite the pressure being applied to him by the monster cell trying to crawl into his mouth,  the zombies trying to tear Brave Giant apart, and Brave Giant’s own time limit,  Child Emperor holds firm and finds at heart what’s really important: that heroism is an inner quality, not an external one.

And then the true nature of Phoenixman comes out:

don’t be fooled: you can only trust a monster to be a monster

In keeping with his inner self-reliance, Child Emperor destroys Brave Giant himself, immolating the zombies along with it.  Phoenixman tries to take advantage of the situation to kill Child Emperor, being fouled by Saitama long enough for the kid to slip a ticklebug into his costume.

I totally wasn’t expecting this to happen as a result!

the most pathetic monster ever -- please nobody kill him in case he can resurrect stronger

I was irrationally pleased to see Underdogman 24 come find his master, still functional enough to get them out of there (with a subtle push from Saitama).  On we go!

Okay, Saitama will be back soon to find where the rude monster that tried to grab them en route came from.  He still needs to find those noisy neighbours! 

Meta: Not today, Satan

I get two big things out of this story.

First, at the beginning of the year, I mused that OPM wasn’t at heart a battle manga.  Rather, it was a manga that had battles (link).  Core is the relationship between the small jihad (the struggle against external enemies) and the big jihad (the struggle with oneself to be a better person and lead a good life). I’d used Saitama as the examplar of this struggle.

I was a bit (a lot) confused by the changes at first, but I think that fundamentally,  the changes are so as to come back to that important inner struggle that so much of OPM is about.

I thought that Child Emperor's struggle is appropriate to a ten-year old. He's old enough not to have blind faith in adults, but young enough to really need good, reliable ones around and to know that his efforts are truly appreciated.  It’s been an issue for several chapters now: right from the first time we saw Child Emperor, being told he was still a child was a great way to piss him off.

Phoenixman sensing that, worked so beautifully and sweetly on his insecurities that he seemed almost a friend.  Surely no one could resist...

Thankfully, Child Emperor does have good adults in his life, ones who show up when most needed.  Saitama shows up in the spiritual world when Child Emperor feels most cornered by Phoenixman’s spiel and lets him know that he sees what’s happening and it’s not okay for Phoenixman to be pressuring a child so -- giving him strength to resist without taking the struggle away from him.  Zombieman called to thank him, and let him know that his efforts were seen and appreciated.  Reminding him too, that there were adults he looked up to.  It’s so awesome to see that even though he’s blindingly smart, Child Emperor still has some things he aspires to be.

ah, how much your divinely-timed words meant, Zombieman!

Previously, Phoenixman had been mocking Child Emperor for being a kid, for being misled by the adults,  and had been fascinated by the possibility that he too could get stuck in his costume, but those were secondary themes against a backdrop of the terror of an ever-growing monster that just would not die. Fortunately, this rewrite, Child Emperor could only push Phoenixman to the point of death that first time, so he never got access to those bigger, scarier forms and thus the fight to keep one’s soul human could take primacy.

Too, I think that Saitama’s presence, lending the boy hero a subtle hand when he most needs it, was very important in grounding the story.   Rather than being an all-but-perfect person who already had all the answers and has all the toys needed to enact them, Child Emperor may still need a hand, without it being a discredit in any way to his intelligence, determination, courage, or inventiveness. The threat posed to him by Phoenixman is just that potent.

whoops, can’t let you do that -- you won’t be eviscerating children on my watch

Second, the story has gone almost Buddhist about the sin of attachment.  So many monsters are about the thing they're obsessed with.  Even if it's a good thing (like justice -- eh, Amai Mask?), that attachment is what warps them.  Phoenixman refusing to take off his Birdbrain costume because he was so invested in the character he couldn't accept it was over, literally refusing to take it off even if it killed him.

It's putting into context the thing I intuited about monsters (link) -- that they get rid of conflict and regret.  It feels good to be a monster. Being human means feeling the pain, the regret, the conflict, accepting loss, and moving on.  Monsters don’t have to do that.  They get to get all that they want, at the expense of their humanity.

unhealthy attachment -- literally

Other Business

1. The Monster Association really does have scientists.  Whether with Machine God G5′s help or not, they’ve wasted no time in finding out how to make Metal Knight-based robots.  Thankfully, they’ve also copied the machine’s weak spots and don’t seem to have the super-resistant materials the original would be made of.  Still... that’s worrying.  Are the minds and hands that worked on this really dead?  What else have they learned?

2. It was so wholesome to see Saitama provide support and encouragement to Child Emperor, stepping in whenever the boy was about to be overcome but otherwise letting him use his wits and courage to deal with the situation.  How I wish he’d do so for his disciple!  It’d mean so much!  Even if it’s just to give an encouraging smile.

3. It took me a couple of rereads to see it, but the ninja duo have been strapped to the side of Underdogman 24.  Saitama means to collect this bounty! More bbq meat for him.

4. Gosh, it’s going to be positively crowded at the surface!  We’ll have two evil ex-zombie monster ninjas, the support heroes, Waganma, Child Emperor, Saitama, the mercenaries and the disciples all having a fresh air party.   Doubtless various people will be departing for various locations soon enough, but this should be a fun mix.  

5. Saitama is so absurdly over-powerful that even when he does his thing right in front of people, they can’t understand what happened.  No wonder he gets no credit.

6. I really, really, really appreciate getting to see more of Waganma’s thoughts.  Yes, they’re selfish, but his desire to keep quiet in order to not be plunged back into the hell he’s grateful to be leaving are very understandable!  Previously, he’d seemed sociopathic.

7.  So Child Emperor thinks that most of his fellow Class S heroes are either evil, evil-looking, evil-acting, or just plain weird?  Not nice at all.

he still has some way to go in learning how to not judge by appearance

8.  But Zombieman is just wholesome.  Especially his promise to treat Child Emperor to milkshake afterwards.  Let it happen!

[helihi]

Thoughts on RWBY Vol. 7

Quarantine day 20: I finally force myself to re watch volume 7 instead of doing my French homework.

Spoilers ahead for RWBY and How I Met Your Mother (yes).

Volume 7: The Story of a Broken Narrative Kingdom

The day has come where I finally sit down and watch the whole season again. Some of you wondered why I didn’t simply do a The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty review on the last episode of the volume like I did with the previous ones. The answer is the same reason why Ozpin’s speech at the end of the volume encapsulates the volume’s theme as a whole: finales affect the way you look at shows, comics, movies, and books. It provides a framing.

Did any of you watch How I Met Your Mother? For those of you who didn’t, it was a often called the show “which could replace Friends”. Something that you may not know is that fans of the show renamed it something among the lines of “How I should date your Aunt Robin” after the last episode aired. You see, the ending of the show changed the way most viewers see the show in the present.

The show had main character Ted Mosby narrate to his children how he met their mother. However, the story doesn’t begin during the day that encountered happen; no, it starts years before, when Ted declares he wants to settle down and find the love of his life. In that very same episode, he meets Robin Scherbatsky. In the end it’s revealed that the mother (the character we spent years speculating about) is dead (which I expected), and Ted asks his children if they give him the blessing to date their Aunt Robin. Originally, the fans could excuse episode 1 centering around Robin because it was the instance where Ted decided he wanted to settle down, but after the veil was lifted; there were no excuses, this whole story was a Ted’s way of convincing their children he should marry Robin, the main woman in his life during the whole show (even if we spend the last season on her wedding with one of Ted’s best friends).

Perhaps the ending of Volume 7 didn’t destroy the character development of 3 main characters, but it drastically changed the way I felt about the volume.

“The Kingdom of Atlas will remain safe, that’s my promise”- James Ironwood, Volume 7, Episode 1.

If you go back in my blog and read my reviews for most of the volume, you will find glowing ratings and stars. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love a good politics game in the shows/stories I read, so I was really excited when the writing team started developing that during the first half of the season.

Our gang (RWBY+JNOR+Q+M) reach Atlas after finding out that Oz is a fraud, that Salem cannot be beat (by Oz), and that Cinder almost took another maiden’s power. They quickly realize that Atlas is in a state of chaos and Ironwood is consumed by fear taking authoritarian measures, which keep the kingdom divided.

The stage is set:

 Ironwood, Winter, and the Ace Ops.

Robyn, the Happy Huntresses, and Mantle.

 Watts, Jacques, and Tyrian.

I thought the way everything was set was fantastic, I loved the political drama, and I thought the writers were taking their time properly. Even now I give huge kudos to the Schnee storyline, which is my favorite. The volume showed us how flawed Winter’s coping mechanism is, how Weiss is still susceptible to her father’s gaslighting and manipulation, and how the household isn’t just broken by Jacques (Willow apologists, pls read this).

However, the cracks started showing during the first episodes and I noted that on my reviews. We have characters used for exposition dump: from the Robyn supporter, that explains what we could’ve learned by the normal progression of the story, who gets killed as soon as he returns home, and other characters like Maria talking about Pietro while he’s standing right there.

In contrast to that, we get wonderful montages which show the passage of time. The kids interact with one another and the Ace Ops, they train, they help with Ironwood’s plan. It seems weird to have 2 different tools one after the other.

Also, it it weird for anyone that Qrow and Winter only interact 1 time during episode 2 when in Volume 3 a clear rivalry was established? Winter’s storyline was supposed to follow Penny’s, while Qrow was supposed to grow attached to Clover. Because these 2 characters had to reach a certain point in the story, they are not allowed to deviate from the interactions needed for the plot to advance.

Another thing occurred to me while re-watching the season again... Why is Ironwood so fixated in protecting Atlas when it’s floating in the air away from Grimm? Yes, we know that some Grimm can fly, but by the many times we see Mantle in chaos, you would think Ironwood would repair Mantle’s wall to keep it safe?

That’s the theme, guys, girls and nonbinary folks: a kingdom divided.

Just like the Atlas kingdom falls apart, the narrative of Volume 7 has a specific breaking point that marks the decline in quality (you can see that in my reviews). The moment everything went downhill starts in Episode 8, with the dinner at the Schnee Manor.

We spend much time developing the political tensions of the volume for Jacques to be promptly arrested and taken away from the scene in a second.

While Ironwood, Winter, Penny, and Clover are shown doing plot relevant stuff, team JNOR does that ridiculous gag to get Whitley out of Weiss’s hair.  The rest of the team do jackshit, and we don’t hear anything from them until everything is over. Again, the writers reached the plot point and forgot about everything else.

Also, Ruby looks sadly at Weiss when Whitley mentions that Klein was “let go”, yet Weiss has never talked about him to Ruby on screen. Claiming Weiss could’ve done that off screen strips away the possibilities of Weiss bonding with Ruby the same way she did with Yang when talking about their pain during Volume 5.

Such a large table, and only 4 council members, isn’t that kind of stupid? I mean, if Ironwood had 2 seats, numbers wise it makes sense, but who are those other 2 supposed to represent? Why haven’t we seen them before?

Robyn is told by Yang and Blake that Ironwood doesn't know who to trust. She proceeds to pressure him in front of people he clearly doesn’t trust. This is the first instance of OOC Robyn.

The walls crumbled, and everything became obvious as a viewer. Some other notable flaws:

Tension jojoing. The people in mantle will revolt! Except they aren’t. This happens in Episode 5, 6, and 9. The only real uprising is the last one. The other two were silly cliff hangers that make no sense when you watch the show again. (they didn’t make sense before either  and I complained).

Hey there, Watts! You may have an interesting backstory, except it’s only implied you are pissed off Penny got chosen as a major project instead of whatever yours was. Also, Paladin incident? What? If he is the main villain of the Volume, why not expand on him? I shouldn’t be surprised, Hazel and Tyrian are not that complex. And Cinder? It’s been 5 volumes and we barely know anything about her haha.

Robin! I love how civilized and smart you are when the volume started, choosing to observe and talk instead of acting against the main characters. How awful is it that you forget to keep your calm when a Serial killer is on the loose. It would be a shame if someone were to... die.

I already gave my 2 cents over Clover’s death, and I’m not going to repeat myself. I am sorry to all the Fair Game fans, I’m afraid bury your gays is till alive and well.

The nail on the coffin is the final episode: after making a speech about how Salem wants to divide people and how the only way to go is to remain united, James does the exact opposite thing the moment something doesn’t go according to plan. Don’t get me wrong, his PTSD regarding the queen chess piece was foreshadowed, but the moment team RWBY offer an explanation and identify the person behind it, he’s to far gone. Then, Salem shows up, and goes for Team RWBY when Ruby gets under her skin. This shows that Salem has a weakness and that Team RWBY can be trusted when it comes to defeating her, yet that is promptly ignored.

Also, Ironwood might be hurt about Yang and Blake talking to Robyn, but after everything, they were proven right: Robyn is to be trusted, Ironwood was making a mistake.

The whole setting up a trap to attract Tyrian wasn’t Ironwood going “mad with power” or something. Robyn knew he has lying and allowed Ironwood to catch someone who could hack everything. Not only that, but the camera zoomed in on Ironwood, so nobody could see Robyn’s handy Semblance going red. Or... maybe I’m looking too much into it and the writers expected you to forget.

Sorry, I guess James Ironwood had to take a bunch of stupid pills.

“I wish it didn’t have to end this way.” - Clover Ebi.

“It doesn’t have to, but the writers need that Branwen angst.” - Qrow Branwen.

Volume 7: Part 1 of the Atlas Arc

Have you ever heard of Checov’s gun? It is a dramatic principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and irrelevant elements should be removed. Elements should not appear to make "false promises" by never coming into play. Let’s play a game called the false promises of the volume that may carry over to volume 8?

Renora: Nora sides with Robin, Ren sides with Ironwood. They do not communicate with one another and the tension builds throughout the volume. They kiss, nothing gets resolved. Ren cries when Neo turns into Nora.

Training: Ren is shown to throw himself into the enemy as a flaw, he repeats the same mistake when fighting with Neo. Oscar’s Semblance is questioned, nothing comes out of it. Ruby’s Semblance is questioned, nothing comes out of it.

Cinder got beef with Atlas? For some reason, Cinder talks about Atlas hoarding power when speaking with Winter. Bitch, where the fuck do you come from? Who are you? Do I know you? Sorry, the writers forgot to write a growth arc for you. My bad.

Nora, daughter of Atlas? Can someone explain to me why she became a SWJ (/s) during this season? We never get a backstory of her previous to Kuroyuri and for some reason Nora is super attached to the people of Mantle. The daughter of Atlas title was thrown around, why?

It’s so nice to see tea FNKI back! Too bad they are there for 5 minutes and never show up again, not even when Mantle is supposed to be defended by all huntsmen. I guess this was fan service.

What’s the purpose of the Happy Huntresses? Isn’t it funny how the only one who got wounded by Tyrian is the only character who could see in the dark, but didn’t tell Robin that Penny wasn’t guilty? Hi Fiona, I don’t know why you exist.

Marrow: the butt of the joke. Since the first episodes, Marrow is shown as the outsider inside the Ace Ops: his teammates don’t take him seriously, Ironwood doesn’t think Marrow is up to the challenge of some missions, and he’s the only Faunus, the only one that seemed to sympathize with Robyn at the end. Too bad he wasn’t allowed to break his mold.

The World Building looks pretty, but it doesn't play the part.

I have to praise the art direction of this season. I was blown away by the aesthetics of Mantle clashing with Atlas, the details in the backgrounds, the world building by back messaging, screens, and posters. My favorite scene of the volume is the penguins in the tundra.

However, you have to walk the walk, and the writing team failed to deliver.

Racism: hey, I know you guys kinda messed up the White Fang’s internal struggles and opportunity to expand on Adam’s power grab and Sienna’s leadership, but maybe don’t skip the racist elements of Atlas? All we get are Faunus mine workers looking angry, that drunk dude who yelled at Blake and Marrow making a simplistic comment about politics. What...? What’s the point of acknowledging u are bad at writing racism and then do nothing about it? Did none of the new writers know how to tackle this?

In-World Continuity: Hey, wasn't the Vytal festival broadcasted to the entire world? When I saw that camera focusing on Yang on episode 1, I thought there would be a call back to what everyone saw her do during the finals, but nope. Let’s not bring that up again. ever. The only important thing about the Vytal Festival is the tower, move on.

Weapons upgrade: We were told that weapons were an extension of each huntsmen; too bad none of our gang actually work on them. Pietro makes all the modifications and repairs. I remember the bumblebee fans eager for a scene of Blake repairing Gambol Shroud, don’t tell me you’re not disappointed.

Atlas ball: not found. Hey! We have Jacques Schnee celebrating his fake victory on the elections! It would be a perfect moment to showcase the disconnect between what’s happening in Mantle and what the people in atlas thing. Too bad we didn’t wanna make extra character models.

--

Closing thoughts

I wanted to re watch the whole season again to see if the bitterness left on my lips after watching that chaotic finale went away, but it only grew. There are so many character choices that made no sense, so many scenes where characters stood around in the background doing nothing.

WHY THE FUCK DID OZPIN ONLY APPEAR AT THE END?

Oh, I’ll tell you why: he needed to give a speech about themes to justify the stupidity that happened during the last episodes to get to that cliff hanger.

I am disappointed in volume that seemed to be doing so good at the begging, but hey... at this point we shouldn’t be surprised, should we? Interestingly enough, the people who dreamed about the ball and the scenes of Blake fixing Gambol Shroud grew quiet after the episodes aired... 

Almost as if criticism wasn’t allowed on the RWBY tag.

AN: The titty window isn’t justified Salem, your ex is now a child that’s PEDO—

[ashesarrows]

The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two by Catherynne M. Valente- FULL REVIEW

This review is the complete version of its counterpart on GoodReads.

This book really disappointed me. The roughest thing is that it’s right in the middle of the series, so you have to read it if you want to continue. There are bright spots (Ell! Saturday!), and I can sense the incredible book Valente was trying to write, but overall, this was a flop. Would’ve been a DNF if I hadn’t promised myself I’d finish the series. 

So, firstly: I’m a longtime fan of Fairyland, and I commonly list the first book and Valente herself as my favorite book and author. I had no negative preconceptions about the book going in. In fact, I know I have an irrational fear of series, and at first I thought my struggles with this book could be chalked up to that. 

But I loved the second book. It was entertaining, a good follow-up, and a unique new story to explore. When I picked up the third book and only got a chapter in before forgetting about it, I had a lot of excuses—I was burned out. I didn’t like the Blue Wind, and I didn’t want to read about her. I was busy with school.

As it turns out, having picked the book up three years later and finished it this time, none of that was true. This time, I was yearning for more of Fairyland, I quite liked the Blue Wind, and I had ample time to read in. 

It just wasn’t a good book.

I talk about planning/pantsing a lot, and that’s once again relevant. I’ll excerpt from my review of another book:

There are two types of NaNoWriMo writers: the planners, & the pantsers. Planners have an outline ready before they write, and pantsers go "by the seat of their pants"—very few, or even no, plans. Both have pros/cons; here I'll focus on a common pitfall for pantsers.

Almost every Western narrative… follows something akin to the 3-act structure. There is a main conflict which builds to a climax and is then resolved (think Star Wars’s Death Star.) For any good narrative, you need MOTIVATION-GOAL-CONFLICT—and occasionally stakes[.]

This book does not have a conflict.

So where do you find 300+ pages of writing? Just have something happen & see what comes next as a response!

The problem is that this makes an unworkable first draft. Things Happening =/= Satisfying Plot Arc. In editing, you have to take everything you've written and organize it into a plot shape, often cutting things that don't fit. (Planning is the opposite; tons of work upfront/you usually end up UNDERwriting.)

...The most common method of writing on Wattpad is pantsing. 99% of the time, writers write & then post chapters on a set schedule. Can't edit plot structure when you upload one chapter a week.

Now, I knew that Valente was a pantser before I read this book, and that she originally uploaded Fairyland one chapter a week. I was very impressed when I first found out; I don’t recall sensing any of these pitfalls in the two previous books. It is hard to write a book with no editing—it is damn well near impossible. Whether I liked this book or not, the first two are a triumph just for that. Valente has been writing this entire series with both hands tied behind her back and her eyes taped shut, and I have to commend her. Even my feelings of frustration are almost overshadowed by how impressed I am that it took three books for her to fail.

Valente herself acknowledged editing concerns in multiple / interviews. From the latter link:

I remember being at a convention right after it really hit, and somebody in the audience asked, “Well, you realize you can’t go back and change anything, because you’ve already posted it online.” And I said, “Oh, shit.” It had never occurred to me that that was gonna be a problem. I kept a couple weeks ahead of the posting schedule, but again, much like writing The Labyrinth in ten days instead of thirty, I just ran ahead with something without knowing that I couldn’t do it and it worked out incredibly well.

Did it? I feel differently, and this review aims to explain why.

This book lacks plot. Valente is attempting a 3-act structure, which relies heavily on a central conflict. There has to be some big mission; some big goal. First book example: September has to beat the Marquess (goal and conflict) OR ELSE everyone in Fairyland suffers (stakes/motivation). Every moment of the book ties back to this larger goal.

The central conflict of this book appears about halfway through. You know the moon, and the yeti, and splitting things? This comes up over a hundred pages in. September, and the audience, has no idea about any of that for a hundred or so pages, and so for that amount of time, the book is unconscionably boring. 

The beginning of the book sees September afraid she’s too old to go back to Fairyland, which is a great central conflict idea for the one chapter in which it exists. Aha! A book about growing up and the associated trials and tribulations. That’s a fantastic theme, and yet I forgot about it entirely until the end, where it briefly awakens again, after an entire book of Not That At All. More on this later.

For now, the book takes September back to Fairyland, which should be wonderful, but Fairyland seems to have become all exposition and no action. A whole chapter of The Blue Wind lecturing September, for example. This is a character we don’t know, have no reason to be attached to, and are being actively hindered by as she relentlessly slows the plot down. And then September gets talked at by an alligator or something, and then another something something… I don’t remember any of this, because it was not relevant.

This isn’t like Fairyland #1, where September might need to befriend someone to gain access to magic which would help her on her quest. In fact, for this first half of the book, September doesn’t even have agency! Someone hands her a MacGuffin (I refuse to recall its name) in the form of a box, and she Must carry it to some city or other on the moon. Why? Who knows. She just must. And she does. And you’re thinking to yourself, why isn’t September making her own ship and leading revels? We know, as an audience, that she’s more than capable. What on Earth has got her seeming so meek? She even sasses characters, but somehow always ends up doing as they ask.

The book also takes all this time to reach any characters we know and love. The readers want Ell and Saturday! We do not care about a horde of lecturing adults with no connection to a central plot or September! Looking back, I can see how Valente may have been hoping to pull off something similar to Alice in Wonderland, but in Alice nobody speaks for a full page. This is just one example:

direct link

I’m hard pressed to even call this exposition, because it tells us nothing about the world we’re in. It’s just a sermon Valente wants us to hear. And worse, because I’ve read the last two books, I know she can pull this off. It doesn’t have to be this way. Many people said many things in Fairyland #1, and it worked because there was a plot that the speeches were part of. 

(If you just look at the quotes page for this book, you can see how many there are—and how repetitive they get. X is a Y, okay, alright…)

But this sort of thing reached its peak when it almost ruined Saturday. Don’t worry, he’s generally well-written, but when September meets him and he starts lecturing? It’s just awful to read. Suddenly it’s not Saturday talking but Valente speaking through his mouth, giving those sermons again, and it just makes you want to scream.

This made me recall an old writing rule—“never remind me of the author’s existence.” I want to feel as though real people are really saying these things, and when all of them speak identically, it’s really difficult to believe that. I won’t deny Saturday his right to say poignant things, obviously, but in this case due to the volume of lectures, and the proximity of his to the others, and the obvious preachiness of all of them, it really got in the way of my even enjoying the scenes with Saturday. And come on; that is unforgivable.

But there is a plot. There is an, ahem… other MacGuffin. A paw? A yeti’s paw. Something about time. Look, at this point I just wanted to finish the book. The original MacGuffin had become a new one, which would lead them to the third, and all this because at 100 pages in someone said “hey there’s this yeti we really hate around here,” and September went “sounds awful I’ll go hunt him right now.” And of course she can, because she has been DOING NOTHING FOR THE LAST HUNDRED PAGES. What is she going to do, something else? There IS nothing else to do in Fairyland apparently. Again, what this book does to the world & inhabitants of Fairyland is near criminal.

So the plot starts here, and it’s not great—September takes it up because there’s nothing else to do, and of course her friends come along, but (at least to me) it seems obvious that Valente invented the moon’s political situation and the Yeti just to come up with SOMETHING for this book. It never felt convincing that this had really been happening behind the scenes in the other books. On top of that, since we get very little context (despite the lectures!), it feels less like a vital quest and more like September (again) doing something because someone else told her to. We really don’t get any other perspective on the issue until the very end.

But talking about the end will require a spoiler tag, so I’ll avoid it for now. Let’s take a break to talk about how confusing the book was overall. I often didn’t know where the characters were heading or why, or what role a new character played, or even if they were there or not.

After seeing a GR query about this particular issue, I went back and researched it. The character Candlestick allegedly leaves the party on page 189:

Candlestick had not come with them after all, turning up her peacock tail and refusing to speak further with any of the lot of them.

But then shows up in not one but two lines in the next chapter anyway:

The Tyguerrotype, the thirteen bouncing Glasshobs, the quivering houses—and September and Saturday, A-Through-L and Candlestick—had a little thickness, but no more than a thick sheet of paper. (201)

“Did we see what?” called Candlestick. (204)

I understand why Valente wouldn’t want to make major plot edits to the books after posting them, but why didn’t an editor read through this even once? It would have been easy to fix—delete one line, or even just a word. It seems clear through surrounding context, looking back, that Valente intended to leave Candlestick out of these chapters, so why didn’t anyone confirm that for readers?

It’s just not fair to your audience to leave things like this in. It’s not professional. It makes me look down on the publisher, to be quite honest, because they apparently couldn’t take the few months necessary to re-read the draft and offer Valente edits on these bare minimum issues.

So you can understand why I wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time. Especially in the beginning, when multiple characters existed just to lecture, it was hard to get attached to any one addition to the party because I could expect them to be gone without incident or importance within two chapters. 

For example, the Periwig (whose name I refuse to look up) who works with Ell in the library says she has cursed him to stop him from flaming around the books. Yes, Ell is having uncontrollable flaming issues now. As a reader pummeled by random lectures, watching September ferry around MacGuffins, this just felt like an “oh shit we have to come up with a NEW conflict for these characters” ploy, without much thought or logic. And I had no idea what the curse was for over fifty pages, until on page 173 there’s a specific reference to Ell getting smaller after he shoots flame. I’m sure there were more earlier on, but I missed them, and who can blame me after a hundred pages of content that was not relevant to the story.

This plot point is never satisfyingly wrapped up, either. Why did the Periwig think this was a good idea? Could she have undone it? Why did nobody address her about it? And why was it solved the way it was? Nothing made sense.

What’s really frustrating is what could have been. Near the end of the book, I turned to the back cover just to avoid continuing to read, and I looked once again in total bafflement at the two starred reviews of the book pictured there. Booklist’s back cover quote reads as follows:

As usual, Valente enlightens readers with pearly gleams of wisdom about honesty, identity, free will, and growing up. September often worries who she should be and what path she should follow, but the lovely truth, tenderly told, is that it's all up to her.

And, despite having read roughly two hundred pages of this book, it was only once I saw this quote that I understood what Valente was trying to do.

This is a great idea. And there are ELEMENTS of it here, and even elements I quite like. Occasionally, the lectures September hears do in fact correspond to some aspect of this theme (“you become what you are called” is one example of a line I could tell meant something, but needed to be expanded to accomplish anything.) It’s hard, as a reader, to differentiate between lectures addressing a vital theme in the story and lectures that are just talking.

Returning to Ell’s curse, it turns out that [SPOILER] Ell was just flaming for what is essentially dragon puberty, which is a GREAT opportunity to build on this theme! Somehow, though, we don’t get that.. I would have loved to see Ell have to deal with, essentially, a sexual awakening, and that did not happen, and it feels like the cure scene is random and therefore wasted. [END SPOILER]

It doesn’t help that Valente also wastes a scene with FANTASTIC potential where September literally destroys her fate by giving it no prior context, no weight in the plot, no relevance to the conflict, and fifteen tons worth of expositional lecturing to drown in. I want to love these scenes; some of these scenes utilize my favorite tropes! I just can’t get around all the ways Valente is leaving her story out to dry.

Then there’s the clothing September wears, her new designation, Aroostook the car, the attempted blossoming romance between September and Saturday: so many elements which could have made that theme great. It’s like a broken puzzle.

This brings us to the Yeti. I’m just going to go full spoiler, because I’m mad.

[SPOILER]

The Yeti is a reverse twist villain?? Can we stop with this? It’s not interesting & not an engaging surprise & also feels like going “ha ha I fooled you.”

From the moment September set off to beat him, I was wondering—are we really doing this? Based on one random person’s complaint? September has made it very clear that she doesn’t understand the politics of the world she’s inhabiting, and yet: this. Unlike in the first book, where the Marquess’s evil is confirmed by every person she comes across and September ends up fighting her out of personal connection, this just seems like meddling. September has no skin in the game; it’s almost a white savior trope—especially when the history of the Moon parallels colonization!

And then The Gang sees future-Saturday helping the yeti, and instead of thinking “maybe we got this wrong based on one person’s lecture” they think “ah FUCK maybe Saturday is going to be evil” and manufacture totally unnecessary conflict.

But it’s not even that they misunderstood, or that their source was biased; the end result is that the Yeti was seen as evil because he DIDN’T CARE THAT HE WAS. He gives this “none of their business” answer that is fundamentally unsatisfying (and makes no sense—had he explained, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BOTHERED HIM) because at the end of the day, it means none of September’s actions in Fairyland were necessary. She just showed up and left. Nobody, not even the story, needed her. I guess September and Saturday have now kissed (twice!) which is great for them but not something that makes the whole book worthwhile.

[END SPOILER]

And on top of this, there are typos. I already covered the issue with Candlestick, so here are the others quickly:

 “All of us,” September said gently, and held out her hands. “I know what you said, Miss Candlestick, but however you count it, our fates are stuck together and stitched up good.” She paused for a moment, looking down at her flowing black silks and her own small hands. “Closer than shadows, she finished.” (170)

“If you’re not to tired after your cannonades.” (179)

The full moon rose passed the high barn windows, spilling in like milk. (248)

(First sentence ought to have put the end quotation mark after the word “shadows,” but accidentally places it after September’s dialogue tag. The second sentence should use “too” instead of “to”. The final sentence needs to either say that the moon “rose past the high barn windows” or “passed the high barn windows”, likely the former.)

What gets me is that this last sentence is on the last page. Even if Valente and her editors never flipped through most of the book, surely someone would’ve noticed this? It just drives home how little anyone cared. About Fairyland, of all things!

And then Valente, who DID NOT EDIT THIS BOOK, has the audacity to include lines like these.

September reached inside and took out the red book. It was heavy. A girl’s face graced the cover, finely embossed, but it was turned away, gazing at some unseen thing. Perhaps it was her own face, perhaps not. A miniature version of herself, after all. Was it an answer? Was it everything already written?  “You can’t argue with something that’s written down,” she said, stroking the red locks of hair on the cover. “If the heart of my fate is a book, there’s nothing for it. Once it’s written, it’s done. All those ancient books always say ‘so it is written’ and that means it’s finished and tidied and you can’t say a thing against it.”  Oh, but September, it isn’t so. I ought to know, better than anyone. I have been objective and even-tempered until now, but I cannot let that stand, I simply cannot. Listen, my girl. Just this once I will whisper from far off, like a sigh, like a wind, like a little breeze. So it is written—but so, too, it is crossed out. You can write over it again. You can make notes in the margins. You can cut out the whole page. You can, and you must, edit and rewrite and reshape and pull out the wrong parts like bones and find just the thing and you can forever, forever, write more and more and more, thicker and longer and clearer. Living is a paragraph, constantly rewritten. It is Grown-Up Magic. Children are heartless; their parents hold them still, squirming and shouting, until a heart can get going in their little lawless wilderness. Teenagers crash their hearts into every hard and thrilling thing to see what will give and what will hold. And Grown-Ups, when they are very good, when they are very lucky, and very brave, and their wishes are sharp as scissors, when they are in the fullness of their strength, use their hearts to start their story over again.

(page 184).

Like... all of that, and then she didn’t edit September’s story? I’m appalled.

At this point, you might well say I’m being far too harsh. I understand that. These next five paragraphs are for you.

For the first few months of (re)reading this book, I genuinely felt like I must be a bad reader, or my attention span was gone, or I just didn’t like Valente or her work enough. Looking at all the incredible reviews here, I felt jealous—and frustrated. Why couldn’t I just enjoy this book the way everyone else did? 

Obviously, I never want to dislike a book, but this was one that I almost feel betrayed me. I know there’s a significant amount of entitlement there; Valente doesn’t owe me any stories, let alone good ones. 

At the same time, I made every effort. I owned all the books, was working hard to read a series despite my long-time struggles with them, and, well, I LOVE Valente! I constantly talk about her work! And even someone like me—someone who’s usually a pretty fast reader, loves the series/author in question, and was determined to finish this book—struggled throughout. 

So I’m frustrated that the book made me feel like an idiot. I’m frustrated that, for the apparent crime of being devoted to Valente’s work, I was put through this. This book would be one star if not for the world of Fairyland and the returning cast—if this had not been a Fairyland book, I would not have finished reading it. For that first half, I was bribing myself (with better books) to read one or two pages at a time. Really.

Like I said, it didn’t have to be this way. I know damn well that Valente can do better than this. If Valente had been given the opportunity to edit this draft into a polished book, she could have done it. It’s only because of these restraints that she chose—and she is a grown woman who may choose what she likes—that the book came out this way. It’s genuinely hard to review, because I understand why she wrote the book this way, and I understand why she did not later edit the majority of the text, and I also have the perspective of a disappointed reader. It’s hard to balance all of that.

So two stars it is. I’m a little sad it took so long to review this book, because I was REALLY pumped to review it when I first finished, but I hope that on the contrary letting it sit has allowed me to be more objective and less emotionally upset by it. 

I hope to pick up the fourth book soon, but with the combination of it being unrelated to the main cast and the letdown that this book was, it’ll be a while before I feel up to it. Don’t worry, though, because I will come back to update you as to whether the series overall is worth continuing. I have every hope that it will be.

[becasbelt]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Pitch Perfect (Movies) Rating: G Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell Characters: Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell Additional Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, Post-PP3

Summary:

Beca and Chloe get stuck in a massive traffic jam in LA. Boredom, teasing, and fluff ensue.

* * *

-5:26 PM-

“Come on! Let’s get a fucking move on, people!”

Chloe giggles at Beca’s annoyance with the traffic in front of them. “I really don’t think that’s going to help this situation at all, babe.”

Beca honks the car’s horn and glares at the person in the car next to them when they glance over. “Well it should,” she stews. “This is fucking ridiculous. I hate LA traffic.”

When Beca had kissed Chloe on the USO tour, Chloe’s entire world had changed for the better. After years of dropping hints, Beca finally figured out that Chloe was in love with her and admitted that she was in love with her, too, after opening for DJ Khalid. Fast forward a few months to now where Chloe went to vet school in West Hollywood while Beca worked on her first album. They were both living their dreams, and Chloe was still pinching herself to make sure it was all real.

Right now, though, it didn’t really feel like a dream. They had gone out for a quick grocery run at around 4:00 and were now apparently stuck in rush hour traffic. In the past half hour they’d gone about one mile, much to Beca’s frustration.

“What’s even going on up there?” Beca asks. “Why the hell aren’t we moving?”

“You know how bad traffic can be here,” Chloe shrugs as she scrolls through her phone. “This is nothing new.”

“Yeah, but I feel like it isn’t usually this bad.” Beca honks the horn again, as if that will make the mile long traffic ahead of them move faster.

They sit in silence while Beca stews and grumbles, the sounds of cars honking and the radio playing softly filling up the space around them. Beca cranes her neck to try and see farther in front of her, but to no avail. Eventually, she slumps down in her seat in defeat.

“Well now we’re not even moving at all,” the grumpy brunette laments, putting the car in park. She crosses her arms angrily over her chest.

“Apparently there’s a huge crash like three miles ahead of us,” Chloe informs her, pulling up a news coverage clip from her Twitter feed and passing her phone over to show Beca. “A bunch of semis collided and spilled stuff all over the highway. It’s pretty bad.”

Beca scowls at the device and hands it back. “Great. GREAT. This is just perfect. I love this for us right now.”

“At least we didn’t have any plans for tonight,” Chloe says, trying to sound positive.

Beca just groans and hits her head against the steering wheel.

-5:45 PM-

“Ugh, can we skip this song?”

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“It’s fine, but it’s way too happy for this situation.”

“Well, in that case, I think I’ll keep it on. You need a little positivity right now, Bec.”

“You know, if I didn’t love you so much I’m positive that I would hate you.”

“That’s the spirit!”

-6:02 PM-

“Okay, that’s it, I’m turning the car off,” Beca announces after they haven’t moved in twenty minutes. She turns the key in the ignition, shutting the engine off but keeping the music on.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “You know, now that you’ve turned the car off we’ll probably start moving soon. That’s usually how it goes.”

“All the more reason to turn it off, then,” Beca replies with a cheeky grin. She reaches down and unbuckles her seatbelt, and Chloe does the same. “You know,” Beca says a moment later, tearing her eyes away from the cars around them to look at Chloe. “If I have to get stuck in a giant traffic jam, I’m glad you’re stuck here with me.”

A grin spreads on Chloe’s face and she bites her bottom lip. “You’re such a sap, Mitchell,” she teases, reaching over to pinch at Beca’s cheek. Beca swats her hand away.

“You see, this is why I never use sincerity,” Beca complains with a glare. “I’m always made fun of whenever I do.”

Chloe softens slightly. “That’s only because I love it so much when you’re sincere,” she says sweetly, leaning in to kiss Beca’s cheek. She pulls back to see a slight blush on the other girl’s face. “And I’m really glad I’m here with you, too.”

Beca grins and looks away shyly, turning up the music’s volume instead of answering.

-6:19 PM-

Chloe huffs and slumps down in her seat. “I’m borrrred.”

Beca, who’s busy answering emails, glances over at her. “Yeah, I know. I heard you the first fifteen times you told me.”

“Well I’m bored because you’re not paying attention to me,” Chloe laments. She sticks her hand out the open window. “I thought we were in this together, but you’re off in superstar land.”

Beca winces and clicks off her phone, setting it in the cup holder. “Sorry, it’s just Theo asking about some stuff for the album.”

A car nearby starts blasting “Elmo’s World” from its speakers, and Chloe is momentarily distracted before responding to Beca. “What does he want this time?”

Beca starts shuffling between radio stations. “He doesn’t like some of the lyrics for the one we’re recording tomorrow, so he was sending over some revisions.”

Chloe hums. “Did you like them?”

“Eh,” Beca shrugs, apparently indifferent. “They were fine. I wasn’t too attached to the original lyrics anyways.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

They sit in silence for a while and Chloe turns her attention back to the car still playing Elmo’s theme song, intrigued.

“Okay, well now I’m bored.”

Chloe looks over at Beca. “Oh how the turntables,” she says, quoting The Office with a raised eyebrow.

Beca rolls her eyes. “I hate that show,” she claims.

“Sure you do,” Chloe says, nodding her head. “That’s why I caught you watching it when I got home the other day.”

“That means nothing,” Beca defends immediately, crossing her arms over her chest. “It just happened to be on when I turned on the TV.”

Chloe hums in disbelief. “If that’s what you’re going to stick with, then good for you.”

Beca huffs. “Well, it’s the truth, so,” she punctuates the unfinished thought with a tongue click.

“You want to watch it right now?”

“…well I guess it couldn’t hurt. Since we’re both bored and all.”

-6:51 PM-

“Babe, this is your song!”

“Okay, we’re changing it for sure this time. Ow! What was that for, dude?”

“Beca Mitchell, don’t you dare switch away from this song.”

“Okay, okay. Jesus, did you really have to hit me that hard?”

“It was a preventive strike.”

“It was mean.”

“Poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it better?”

“I mean… it might make me feel a little better. It’s worth a shot, at least.”

-7:08 PM-

Chloe stifles a grin as Beca slyly places a hand on her lower thigh. She continues to flip through the car manual she found in the glove box like she hasn’t noticed. “Hey, Bec, I think I finally know how to change the time on the clock. They have complete step-by-step instructions in here and everything.”

“That’s nice,” Beca says distractedly. Her fingers begin to draw lazy circles along the bare skin on the inside of her thigh, slowly making their way farther up Chloe’s leg. Chloe clears her throat to focus herself.

“We can also change the display to show what cardinal direction we’re going in, too.”

“Neat.”

“And if you hold down the hazard button for ten seconds, the car will self-destruct.”

“Awesome.”

Chloe snaps the booklet shut. “Beca, you know we can’t start something right now,” she lectures, gesturing down at her lap, and while Beca blushes and looks guilty, she doesn’t remove her hand. “There are literally people all around us.”

Beca shrugs. “I don’t think they’re paying attention,” she says lowly, lightly dragging her fingers along smooth skin. Chloe gulps and resists the urge to spread her legs further. “No one would notice if we just…”

She trails off as she leans forward to place a warm kiss on Chloe’s jawline. Chloe sighs and closes her eyes at the feeling of wet heat moving along her neck. She weaves a hand through Beca’s hair and tilts her head to allow her more access.

Chloe’s eyes lazily drift back open and she’s met with the sight of an old lady in the car next to theirs staring right at them. Embarrassment replaces the arousal in Chloe’s body, and she hastily pushes Beca off of her. Beca looks at her in confusion.

“Uh, people are paying attention, apparently,” Chloe explains, gesturing subtly to the old lady. Beca’s confusion is immediately overtaken by shock and a blush spreads across her cheeks. She waves awkwardly to the lady and pivots in her seat to stare look pointedly out the other window.

Okay, so they definitely needed to keep their hands to themselves in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Chloe files the information away for future reference.

-7:32 PM-

Beca groans and pushes her seat as far away from the steering wheel as she can, stretching out her legs. “It’s too damn hot in here.”

Chloe, who’s waving the car’s insurance papers in front of her face to cool off, nods in agreement. “It really is. Are you sure we can’t turn on the car for a little bit?”

“We’re pretty low on gas,” Beca says hesitantly. “I don’t want to risk running out as soon as we finally get out of this mess.”

Chloe pouts but doesn’t fight her on it. She looks out the window and sees some people ahead of them standing outside of their cars talking and gets an idea. Beca peers curiously over at her when Chloe opens her door.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“I am getting some fresh air,” Chloe states as she gets out of the car. The blood starts rushing through her legs like normal again while a gentle breeze brushes against her sweaty forehead. Chloe lets out a sigh of relief. She closes the door behind her and rounds to the driver’s side of the car.

Beca squints up at her through her open window. “You’re really going to be one of those people that gets up and walks around during a traffic jam?”

Chloe leans down, resting her forearms on the window sill and sticking her head back in the car a bit. “I don’t see any other options. It’s better than sweating through our clothes in the hot car.”

Beca glances down at her slightly damp t-shirt and plucks at it with her fingers, frowning. “You may have a point.” She turns off the car all the way and pushes open her door, joining Chloe on the road. Chloe claps her hands in excitement.

“It’s kind of neat just standing out on the highway like this, don’t you think?” she asks, turning around in place to take in her surroundings. Beca chuckles and lets her gaze drift to some cars off in the distance.

“It is a small sort of accomplishment, I suppose.”

Chloe takes one of Beca’s hands and tugs her to the trunk of their car. “I’m hungry. Didn’t we buy some granola bars or something?”

Beca opens the trunk and sifts through the grocery bags inside. “Doesn’t look like it, babe,” she says, but sticks her hand in a bag anyways. Her tongue pokes out in concentration as she tries to get a grip on something in the bag, and Chloe bites her lip at how cute the expression makes her girlfriend look. Then, a look of victory crosses Beca’s face. “Aha! I knew these were in there!” Beca pulls her hand out to produce a box of frosted sugar cookies.

She starts attempting to open them while Chloe wrinkles her nose in confusion. “I didn’t know you bought those,” she says, watching Beca fail to open the plastic packaging. “When did you add those to the cart?”

Beca doesn’t tear her eyes away from her challenge. “You were looking at that magazine cover I was on, and I snuck it on the belt,” she says, the struggle eminent in her voice.

Chloe watches her fight the box in amusement for a few more seconds before gently prying it away from Beca’s hands, opening it with ease. She hands it back to Beca with a sweet smile. Beca attempts to look unembarrassed. “Thanks,” she mutters before reaching in and taking a cookie out, shoving half of it in her mouth at once.

They munch on the box of cookies, sitting on the hood of the car. A few people come up to them to make small talk, mostly commenting on how sucky the situation is, though none of them stick around for very long. Soon the cookies are gone, leaving Chloe and Beca to sit in comfortable silence.

Beca reaches over and pulls Chloe’s left hand into her lap, playing with her fingers. Chloe smiles softly and looks over at the brunette, but Beca’s eyes are focused on their hands. Lithe fingers run along the tendons on the back of her hand, and up and down the veins lining the inside of her wrist. Beca delicately rubs her thumb over Chloe’s ring finger with a contemplative look on her face, then brings their hands up to press a kiss to her knuckles a moment later.

Chloe hums in contentment and leans against Beca’s side, watching people ahead of them walking around and conversing with one another. Beca squeezes her hand once, and Chloe’s smile grows even wider.

-8:14 PM-

“Chlo, am I crazy, or is that an ice cream truck?”

Chloe looks in the direction that Beca is pointing in to see that, yes indeed; there is an ice cream truck in the near distance. To make it even more bizarre, people seem to be buying ice cream from the truck.

Beca and Chloe look at each other. They come to a silent agreement and slide of the hood of the car. When they reach the truck, there’s only one other person in line, so they’re able to quickly purchase two cones – chocolate for Chloe, vanilla for Beca – and weave their way through the traffic back to their own car.

They lean against the passenger side door and watch the sun slowly start to sink in the sky as they eat their ice cream. Chloe steals licks from Beca’s cone every once in a while, which her girlfriend pretends to grumble about, but Chloe can tell she doesn’t actually mind.

The ice cream truck starts playing music in the distance, and Chloe smiles as Beca starts quietly harmonizing with it under her breath.

-8:24 PM-

“If I die in this traffic jam, will you tell Theo that I won’t be able to make it to our meeting on Wednesday?”

“You’re not going to die, Beca.”

“I’m starting to lose hope that we’ll ever get out of this.”

“You’re so overdramatic.”

“Oh yeah? Well you’re under dramatic.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know. Give me a break, my brain’s fried from sitting here for three hours.”

“Fair enough.”

-8:47 PM-

Chloe glances up from her nearly dead phone and does a double take at what she sees. She slaps at Beca’s arm excitedly. “Bec, people are moving!”

Beca lurches up from her slumped position over the wheel. She rubs at her eyes and blinks groggily out the front windshield. “There is a God after all,” she murmurs in awe, starting up the car.

Chloe whoops loudly as they begin to drive, joining in with the cheers from the cars around them. Beca lets out a victory cry of her own that makes Chloe double over laughing in her seat. Chloe starts belting out “We Are the Champions” at the top of her lungs, and Beca doesn’t even try to protest before she starts to sing along.

When Beca steers the car onto the exit ramp to get off the highway, Chloe lets out a contemplative hum and says, “You know, that actually wasn’t too bad. I think that was a great way to spend our evening.”

“And I think that’s probably the craziest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Okay, rude.”

“It’s true, dude.”

“Hmm. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I love you.”

Beca grins and reaches out to take Chloe’s hand. “Love you, too, weirdo.”

[glassandmetalwings]

Wings Talks Manga: A Year in Review, Part 1 (Completed stories)

Last year, I told myself I was going to actually really more manga and watch more anime, because despite it being my main style I hadn’t actually read much in awhile. And I actually managed to get a lot done for one year. So below is a list of stories I read/watched and a few quick thoughts on them. Despite having my list open, I’m still probably not going to get to all of them, but I can try.

Be warned for spoilers.

T.egami Bachi (manga)

I love. Anyone following this tag of mine knows this has been a long journey and that I loved every minute of it. The world is beautiful, the characters are great, the emotions run high...it’s incredibly cathartic and engaging. I will never stop lauding it.

Jiu Jiu (manga)

A short series I picked up from the library that I never really covered, but that I enjoyed. Sometimes it felt a little slow to work through, but it was cute and I got really attached to the characters over five volumes. Like the mangaka, I wish there had been more opportunity to delve deeper into some of the story elements, because especially near the end it got confusing. Also I’m assuming it ended in a poly relationship? The protag grows up and has babies but you can’t really tell which love interest is the father, if either are. They’re all together in the final picture and I support it but it also bugs me bc I am confused.

Dreamin’ Sun (manga)

Mixed feelings on this one. I honestly expected a modern fantasy involving a baku going into this based on the back cover. I was wrong. I was really cute, if not overwhelmingly emotionally frustrating/full of secondhand embarassment at some points. The characters are super well-developed and continue to evolve and grow through the series. I will forever complain about the protag falling in love and centering her life around an adult man, but there were also some very touching elements that I can’t help but remember fondly.

The Wize Wize Beasts of the the Wizarding Wizdoms (manga)

The first of a lot of BL I read this year, which is honestly very new to me. My introduction to Nagabe. I’ve mentioned there’s one story I’m not too fond of, but it could be my interpretation of it. Overall very much loved it and especially love the art style.

K.amisama Kiss (manga)

I series I kind of picked up on a whim and absolutely fell in love with. Cute, funny, touching, well-thought out. There were some elements I didn’t understand (like the end), but my enjoyment overall made up for it. The one thing I wish for was a little more development for some of the minor characters. Also I love Mizuki and his development throughout the series. He makes me emotional.

Our Dining Table (manga)

Another cute, simple love story about two guys making food. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this other than it’s cute and you should read it. Although I obviously have no issues with teenage protags, it was refreshing to have a love story about two working adults that didn’t have to involve sex. Also can totally understand one guy’s aversion to eating with others, even if my own isn’t as severe.

Love on the Other Side (manga)

More Nagabe. Really, really cute. I love the story with the bird (of course). The softness of the stories and Nagabe’s art style really have stolen my heart.

B.lack Butler: Book of Circus (anime)

We all know why I watched this. Sadly the ending is as gruesome as the manga, and the one or two scenes they added didn’t play well on the DVD. But still a delight (up until the end).

The Devil is a Part-Timer (anime)

Interesting. Funny. A good world base, but I feel they could have developed it a little more, and the last episode kind of soured it a little for me because there was no really wrap-up. But I liked the characters and had a lot of fun watching it while crocheting. Wish there was a season two.

The Bride was a Boy (manga)

A brief autobiographical manga about a trans woman, filled with lots of tidbits about transgender individuals and things like HRT. Short, sweet, cute, and full of love and joy. Again, not much to say other than I recommend it.

Fractale (anime)

A lot to process. I think I would need to watch it again to fully wrap my head around it, if not more than once. An interesting world, great character, engaging story, and beautiful animation. Plus just...kinda relevant in a way that’s hard to describe. Think ease of technology verses governmental control via tech. I really loved the episode about the mysterious photographer. Plus I just fell in love with the ending song.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (anime)

Yes, I’d never watched this before. Gonna say, not my favorite Miazaki, but as usual an excellent story with a lot of background and development. And of course I loved the creature design. Glad to finally have it watched, after all these years, but I also can’t help but wonder what the original English release was like, knowing they cut/edited a lot. Because a lot of that violence and death was...kinda necessary to understanding character motives.

H.aibane Renmei (anime)

Again, another series that’s been at the top of my list for forever. I didn’t even have an excuse not to watch is as I own the DVDs. Excellent, and touching, if not cutting a little too close to home at times (like self-harm/BFRB). Really my introduction to ABe, and I have to say I never saw the ending coming. But would definitely watch again and again. Kinda wish I could do a cosplay for this series (I’d probably be Nemu, or one of the masked characters), but I feel like you need a group for it.

G.osick (anime)

I didn’t complete this one, I’m sorry. I think the art is great, and the arcs in concept are amazing...but it falls through in the delivery. The characters don’t really feel like they have driving motives behind their actions, and sometimes the evidence and stuff are things you can’t discern from watching (’I can tell you aren’t the daughter of a coal baron because you walk short distances before turning sharply and walking the other way, like you’re pacing in a small psych ward cell’-yes, that’s a real example). Lots of potential, but not great. Sorry.

Wolf Children (anime)

Very cute. Beautiful anime. I don’t think I can say much about this that hasn’t already been said. My favorite part is the ending where she’s saying goodbye just because of how both painfully and empoweringly emotional it is.

5 Centimeters Per Second (anime)

Not bad, but probably not my favorite. It didn’t help that the version I was watching didn’t translate all of the writing, so I feel like I missed a lot of elements. While the story is definitely a sentiment I can get behind, it was also a little bit unsatisfying for me, especially at the end. But idk, maybe I just don’t like the idea of moving on when there’s the opportunity to not.

Colorful (anime)

It was...a film. About a suicide. Looking back I don’t particularly feel strongly either way about it. I think the ending was good, and giving the protag some sort of motivation, but it took forever to really get to a point where I cared about him (or he seemed to really care about the body he was inhabiting and the person he was trying to be). Some of the stuff was just...uncomfortable. It’s probably worth watching, but overall I wasn’t wowed by it.

Ibistu (manga)

My first shrink-wrapped manga. It ties together very well in the end, and the horror and violence elements did elicit some very visceral reactions in me (particularly the threat of the iron and, later, the staples). The short stories were also good, particularly the doll factory one, but I wasn’t the most fond of the one about the mangaka. Just know there’s a reason it’s shrink-wrapped and it’s not a ‘positive’ one.

A Silent Voice (anime)

Probably one of my favorite films. While I didn’t always understand the motivations behind some of the characters or their actions, it wasn’t in a way that made me uncomfortable like some of the things in Colorful did. It felt more natural for them to be irrational. Again, there is suicide, so be warned if you don’t want to deal with that. But the story is sweet and the characters are amazing. But I also have a weakness for things involving sign language and communication.

Children Who Chase Lost Voices (anime)

Very cool. Beautiful landscapes. Gave me very strong Princess Mononoke vibes at some points, but it also stood as its own story with interesting characters there are elements I wish we could have delved deeper into, though. Also...what war did the teacher fight in? It didn’t look very modern. Also also I will forever wince at the pronunciation of ‘Quetzalcoatl’. Death is a strong theme in it, so be prepared if you watch it.

The Boy and the Beast (anime)

Excellent character design. Excellent story. Excellent animation. My one complaint would be that the climax felt kind of thrown together, even though it tied back to the beginning in a good way. But overall a beautiful world with some great humor and intense elements.

The Garden of Words (anime)

Spoiler: again a story about a kid falling in love with an adult. From a platonic standpoint, the story still feels a little weird, particularly in terms of the woman’s motivations, but looking back her not getting too involved in him missing school...kinda feels like what I would do to, especially in her situation. It’s sweet, though. Maybe it’s just me and my preferences, but some elements feel a bit incomplete, and I wish had been explored/wrapped up.

Summer Wars (anime)

Probably a favorite on the films list. Again, beautiful animation. I’m not going to get over this style. But I especially liked the design of OZ and the excess of blank space in it. Characters were many but great (although I didn’t get the one baseball player was part of the family until almost the end, but that says more about me and paying attention). Even Mom got really engaged in it when I had her watch it with me (I also had her watch Wolf Children, which I thought she would like more, but apparently not). There is a character death, but if you don’t mind that it’s definitely a watch.

Beauty and the Beast Girl (manga)

A cute little story about a blind girl and a dragon girl falling in love-what more could you want? Their histories actually tie together in a really neat way. Honestly my one complaint would be that the ending feels a little too ideal and easily wrapped-up. But sometimes we need things to be that perfect, you know?

P.andora Heart (manga)

The other big story I tackled this year. There were points that were a bit slow/disengaging to me, but overall once I got hooked I really loved it. I think I need a second read to really fully understand it (if that’s possible), but equal parts cute, intense, and bittersweet. Elliot’s whole development was probably my favorite bit.

The God and the Flightless Messenger (manga)

My last story of 2020, and a very cute one at that. Another short story, with beautiful art. I don’t...really know what to say about it. It’s cute, and the love story feels both very natural and almost...secondary? Idk how to describe that. The relationship between the two of them is obviously key, but it’s the type of story where ‘I love you’ isn’t needed. It’s already there.

So yeah, there’s the list. It’s a long list. I probably still missed some. I might try to make a second list with ‘in progress’  series but I’ll be playing that by ear. I’d love to hear some of you all’s thoughts on these stories (if you’ve read/watched them), or which you now want to read/watch!