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shurisneakers · 3 years

Text

shut in [4]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, threats

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: greetings everyone!! how are we all doing? i have nothing to say here tbh so anyway stan sam wilson being a lil shit whenever possible.

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Alright, thank you.”

You hung up the call, trudging back to the house, discarding the battery along the way.

The air had a chill to it and there was an occasional breeze that went past, rustling leaves providing an eerily comforting background score. The temperature tended to rise as the day went on but nights were especially cold due to the abundance of trees.

Even though the stress of the situation you were in constantly consumed all your waking thoughts, you still found the time to appreciate how beautiful your surroundings were.

The last few days were barely memorable. Sam and you tended to stay out of each other's way unless your meal time coincided or you watched the local news together. The schedule had worked out favourably.

He wasn’t very hard to live with.

Most of the time.

His commentary and small jokes were never-ending but were not as unwelcome as you initially thought. It brought some much needed light into your otherwise dreary day. When it came to figuring out how to do laundry due to your now extended stay or whose turn it was to do it, things got a bit messy but were resolved quickly.

He used to disappear often for hours on end. You never concerned yourself with going after him to find out where he went, figuring that unless he was hatching a plot that led to your demise, he was entitled to his own privacy. He’d return a while later, calmer than when he left.

It was fine. Nothing to write home about. Neither of you were dead yet.

“What are you doing on the bed?” You were reconsidering your last thought when you walked into the bedroom to resume your self-interrupted sleep, only to find him face down on the sheets. “It’s my day today.”

“Just give me some time. I’ll be out of here soon enough.” His voice was muffled as he spoke into the sheets.

“You can take all the time you need tomorrow when it’s your turn.” You swatted at his legs, earning a grunt of chagrin from him.

“Go eat some soup and maybe you’ll calm down,” he fired back, unmoving.

“Today’s not soup day. Which you would know if you paid attention to our schedule. That we made. Together. The same schedule which says it’s my turn today.”

He groaned, shoving his face deeper into the pillow. “My back’s killing me. Just give me a few.”

“Why, what’d you do?” you asked curiously, letting go of his leg.

“Combat training. Took a few beatings, fucked up my spine.”

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“It comes and goes.” Sam finally rolled onto his back, giving you a view of his face. His bone structure was amazing, even from quite possibly the ugliest angle you could have over him. “You should’ve seen the other guy.”

You just stared at him as he linked his arms behind his neck, elevating his head to look at you. He had a small stubble that was starting to grow longer. You wondered if he would shave it. He looked good regardless.

“How’s your beloved?”

“Huh?”

“The person you keep sneaking around to talk to on the phone. I’m not your dad, y’know. You can talk to them inside the house, ‘m not gonna ground you,” he quipped, a small, teasing smile on his face.

“He’s not my lover. Just... an acquaintance.” You felt the awkwardness starting to set in after you trailed off. “Anyway since you’re awake, we need to talk.”

“‘Bout what?”

“What happened that day. We’ve been avoiding it but we need to figure out what went wrong. Or at least a clue.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed, wincing as he sat up straight. “How do you want to do it?”

“Just talk me through how you got put on this mission and what exactly happened that day, I guess.” You took a place on the bed, leaning backward on your hand for support.

He nodded, delaying for a second to collect his thoughts before beginning.

“So basically-”

The sun was particularly relentless that day.

The ringing bell above the door of his favourite coffee shop was a welcoming sound. The barista smiled at him in greeting, asking if he wanted his usual to go.

His park bench was empty as it always was. Sam liked to think of it as a small gift from the universe; the fact that it was perpetually unoccupied.

He liked to sit there and watch people’s day go by. His iced coffee-

“I don’t really require that much detail.”

“Patience. I’m getting there.”

It was arguably one of the most peaceful days he had had in awhile, and he was hoping to keep the streak going. Nothing seemed like it would phase him, not even the phone ringing, drawing his attention away from the scene in front of him. Caller ID didn’t trace who it was.

“Hello?”

“Wilson.”

Sam gripped the cup so hard he thought it might spill over onto his jeans.

“I told you not to call me, Ransone.”

“But honey we had such a good time last night,” he faux cooed, “You know I have needs-”

“I’m not getting involved in your stupid organisation, Vincent. I told you I’m done,” Sam broke in, not wanting to waste time listening to his stupid dramatics.

“Listen here, Wilson.” The swift change in his tone was looming, threatening. “You’re done when I say you’re done-”

“Wanna bet?” Sam took a sip of his coffee. “I thought we made it clear in Detroit that we’re done. Honey.”

He added the last part out of pure spite just to get a rise out of him. Much to his glee it seemed to work as Ransone let out a deep exhale before continuing.

“That was before we found out there’s a mole in my gang. I want you to kill him.”

“This is way below my pay grade. Have one of your interns do it. Your shitty murder warehouse hasn’t seen much action in a while.”

“This is Pierce we’re talking about. If he’s working for another organisation, his ass is going to be so guarded, these kids couldn’t wouldn’t even get past the gate. Besides, you know my murder warehouse is for special guests only-”

“Man, it must suck real hard to be you right now,” Sam didn’t wait for him to complete his sentence. He finished the last bit of the drink he had left, gathering his things before standing up. “Find someone else. I’m out.”

“You might want to reconsider that. We found him.”

He stopped in his tracks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam said steadily, grip on the phone tightening.

“I think you do, though. Had us fooled for a while there, thinking he’s dead. A little more research, some cash into the right pockets and boom! There he is, clear as day.”

Sam felt a chill go up his spine.

“He doesn’t know we know. We’re just keeping an eye on him for now.”

“If you even fucking think of touching him-” his fists were balled up, struggling to keep his anger from rising.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t.” Ransone laughed. “I’ll just have one of my interns do it.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Ransone. It’s not somethi-”

“Do this hit and I’ll leave him alone,” Ransone interjected. “You’ve worked so hard to pull him from our radar, Sammy. It would be a shame if it all went to waste.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. Suddenly the day didn’t seem as bright as it was a few minutes ago.

“I’ll text you the details. You tend to leave me on read so I thought I’d make it more fun. Do you want the confetti with the message or the lasers-”

Sam just hung up the call, feet firmly rooted in his spot. He had no idea what he was going to do.

The notification of a new text alerted him. Pierce’s address along with the exact timeline of when he’d be home.

It was across the country. If he botched the mission on purpose, Ransone wouldn't be able to find him for a few days at least, much less reach him. He could go on the run-

‘Do it or he dies.’

His train of thought was interrupted by a picture that made his blood boil.

Especially when it exploded with the stupid confetti effect.

“Okay, basically he threatened you with something to go do the hit.” You didn’t ask him what exactly he was threatening him with and Sam didn’t really elaborate.

“Yeah. Didn’t leave me with much of a choice. He’s batshit fuckin’ crazy anyway, I knew he’d do whatever he felt like.”

“So you ended up going.”

Pierce didn’t seem to get many visitors. Not that anyone could be blamed, this guy was one of the biggest pieces of shit Sam had had the misfortune of meeting.

Over the two days he had staked out in front of the mansion to find out if this guy had as much security as Ransone had boasted of, Sam had come to the conclusive truth that no, he very much did not. He had a standard home security system which was lacklustre compared to the rest of the house.

Maybe he just assumed that being a senior member of the mob would garner some fear to his name. Dumbass.

He found the tall shrubbery surrounding the property to be out of the line of sight of the camera, and climbing it wasn't very hard. He landed softly on the manicured lawn, adjusting his gloves and checking his surroundings before pulling his gun that was secured in the waistband of his pants.

He removed the safety, keeping it close to him as he stalked through the front yard.

The red car parked at the side earned an eye roll from him. If he had one, there was no doubt there’d be more. He just had to find a basement or garage.

Walking around the house, he kept close to the wall, searching for any opening to the basement.

It didn’t take long before he found a set of stairs to the exterior entrance of the basement. He checked to see if anyone was around before making his way down them. The lock was unsurprisingly easy to pick.

The basement was mostly dark save for a few strategic lights placed to highlight the magnificence of his several race cars. The man was moved slower than the second coming of Jesus. The cars just seemed like an overcompensation.

The switchboard was not difficult to find. He pulled open the cover, glancing at the switches before turning all of them off, plunging the whole basement into darkness. If his security system was as outdated as Pierce was, it would have turned off along with the rest of the house.

“Oh, that’s why the cameras weren't working when I showed up.” Bits that seemed amiss were beginning to place itself together the more his story progressed. “I assume you entered the house through the window on the side?”

“Sure did.”

Your guess was right. He’s the reason why it was ajar by the time you arrived.

As soon as he entered he had his gun raised. Scanning the room as he went past, his senses were dialed up to eleven. If he was really under the protection of Serpentine, they were doing a terrible job. He had gotten in completely unscathed.

As he made his way deeper into the house, the sound of some movie playing became louder. But he had cut off the power supply to the house.

His eyebrows pulled together tightly into a frown, he made his way down the hall towards the sound. No one was in the dining or living room he canvassed.

Finally, Pierce’s silhouette became clearer. He appeared to just be sitting there idly while a smaller screen played in front of him. It wasn’t a TV, just an iPad.

If Pierce was asleep it would just make the job easier. Gun raised, Sam made his way into the room silently.

Pierce was still. Sam raised the gun, taking a step closer.

A floorboard creaked.

He immediately cringed, shoulders tensed as he came to an immediate stop. It seemed like forever as he waited for Pierce to wake up, to brandish a gun and try and defend himself.

He didn’t.

Taking a step to the side, Sam moved diagonally. Each one was slow. Ready for any sudden movements from his end.

He finally stopped in front of Pierce.

A bullet hole in his forehead. Eyes open. Chest still.

He was dead.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Sam breathed out, lowering his gun. Pierce’s glassy eyes stared blankly ahead. He didn’t look like had been dead for too long.

A soft thud in another room made his head snap up. It was in the same direction from where he came.

He silently moved backwards to the corner of the room, hoping that the darkness was enough of a disguise as he saw someone stalking down the hallway.

“And that’s when you come in. Thought you were comin’ back to make sure he was dead.”

“I had just got there. Saw that everything was off, and just assumed it was a power outage.”

“What about you? How’d you end up there?” Sam had his legs crossed, leaning forward to listen to you.

“Ransone told me that there was a spy who was sending information out for nearly two years. Needed him gone and he wasn’t sure if his other agent would show up-” you mentioned to him- “I guess that’s you. Told me I had an opening at 8pm. When I got there, the CCTV was off. Found the window open so I just used that.”

You were replaying your memory, step by step to remember what exactly you had seen.

“Heard the movie playing, found no one when I went down the hall. I saw the car keys on the island, which came in handy later. Entered the room, pushed his head with the gun and he just slumped over like a damn rag doll. That’s when you made your grand entrance.”

“Got one chance to make an impression. Had to make sure I looked cool, emergin’ from the shadows and whatnot.”

“It doesn’t make sense though.”

“Ouch. Thought it was pretty legit, actu-”

“No, no-” you waved him off. “Not your entrance. The henchmen thing.”

He paused, mulling over what you said. “If he was working for Serpentine, he would have been more careful. Why did they show up after he’s dead?”

“I don’t think they work for Serpentine. If Pierce was giving them information, they wouldn’t kill him.” You had good reason to be confident about that. You thought you did, from previous assessments.

“Unless they were scared that he’d switch again,” Sam suggested. You looked up from your fidgeting fingers to him. “Didn’t want any of their secrets going back to Ransone. They got to him before we did.”

“Why’d they shoot at us then? If they killed him and left, why’d they wait for us to show up? Why did they try to kill us?”

“I think we’re ignoring the important thing here,” he paused. You looked at him expectantly, prodding him on. “How did they know we were coming? They should have killed him and disappeared but they expected us.”

You tilted your head. “Are you saying-”

“There might be more.”

“Pierce might not have been the only one,” you finished. “There are more spies.”

“Tipped ‘em off. Told them we were going to be there.”

“And killing us was just to poke Ransone with a stick,” you murmured, eyes downcast, fidgeting with your fingers again. “But that just seems random. It doesn’t make sense.”

“None of this makes sense, sweetheart.” Sam scoffed, leaning back again.

“We’re missing something. There’s something wrong.” You looked at him. “If it’s just a random attack, why did they release our face to the whole fuckin’ country? Why are they specifically targeting us?”

“Finishing what they started. Covering all their tracks from that day. If we’re not dead, we’re a liability.”

“What if it’s not Serpentine at all? What if it’s another gang?”

“Serpentine has the most motive.”

“We don’t know that.”

He looked at you incredulously. “I think there’s substantial evidence to suggest they fuckin’ hate us. Besides, they’d want me dead specifically.”

“Why?” you inquired, eyes narrowing.

He opened his mouth like he was going to explain but closed it a second later, leaving you guessing.

“Fine, but it doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who do.” You made a point to ask him later or at least conduct your own research into it.

“Okay,” he said, shifting to lean on his elbows, “who else could it be? If Pierce was working for Serpentine and Ransone found out, sends someone to kill him, it’s essentially an attack on one of their own members. I’d say that's a pretty good motive.”

“I don’t know. Hydra doesn’t like us either. There’s Ten Rings too. But Serpentine just doesn’t work out.”

“How are you sure?” he asked. “You a spy for them too?”

You rolled your eyes at him as he raised his eyebrow. “It doesn’t make sense. What if we’re missing something? Did we go through everything?”

“I just went through my entire story down to the most irrelevant details. Twice. Nothing’s missing on my end.” He pushed himself off the bed, taking a long stretch before looking back at you.

“I think we should do it again. Just to make sure.” You rotated your torso to look at him. “We can figure it out-”

“You’re going to lose your mind if you keep at this any longer for today. Take a break.”

“I can’t take this lightly. Everyone’s out there looking for us and there is no one we can trust-”

“And going through our stories for the third time today is going to solve that how?” He had his hands crossed over his chest like a stern parent.

“I’m sorry but our faces are probably plastered in every damn police precinct in the country,” you snapped, “And I think that us remembering something some stupid detail might actually help rather than, I don’t know, taking naps and eating sandwiches. So no, I’m not going to drop it. Because I actually want to get out of here.”

You didn’t mean to sound so angry with him. He had told you everything twice already and patiently answered questions that you had. You didn’t think he was lying. You had no way of knowing but you hoped that some sort of allegiance was being formed between you both.

There was silence for a minute, leaving enough time for the guilt to creep in when he didn’t fire back. It’s what you expected.

“I’m not asking you to drop it. I’m saying take a break,” he said calmly. “You’re thinkin’ enough for the both of us anyway.”

You let out a small exhale, forcing the edge to retreat from your voice.

“I’ll be back in a while.” With that he turned around and left the room. A few minutes later you heard the backdoor open and shut.

Great.

You massaged your throbbing temples, eyes closed. He was right. Your mind wasn’t clear and you had been at this for hours. You wouldn’t be able to think critically.

Or at all.

You dropped back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it to your face. The coolness of the fabric felt nice.

You just let out a sigh, turning to your side to hopefully get some sleep.

_____

You woke up what seemed like hours later to a dark room.

It took your eyes a while to adjust stepping out into the hallway illuminated by the light in the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sam’s voice rang out. “Made you a sandwich.”

You rubbed your eyes groggily, looking where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a sandwich on the table. He sat at the seat adjacent to it.

“Thank you.” You contemplated sitting next to him for dinner. It would be a first.

In the end you just grabbed your plate, giving him a half smile before making your way to the couch. You settled on sitting on the floor instead, leaning your back against the foot of the sofa.

The TV was already halfway through playing Megamind so you just let it continue, mindlessly chewing on the bread. As far as peanut butter sandwiches go, it wasn’t all that bad.

“Wilson,” you called out sheepishly, eyes not leaving the movie. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. It wasn’t right.”

“It’s okay.”

How he let go of it so easily was beyond you. The sandwich was surprising too, but you took it, not wanting to change his mind. He couldn’t have poisoned it. You had checked his stuff.

You sat in silence for the rest of the movie. Your mind kept slipping in and out of thought but it was a comfortable atmosphere you found yourself in.

After the credits started rolling, you went to leave your plate in the sink. Sam brushed past you, grabbing the blanket at the foot of the couch, launching himself onto the cushions.

“What are you doing?” you asked, puzzled as he snuggled in.

“Going to sleep?” He tilted his head to look at you.

“Use the bed.”

“It’s your turn today.”

“Your back’s fucked up. I’ll take the couch.”

He didn’t budge.

“Go on.” You mentioned to the room with a shrug of your shoulder.

“You’re not going to let me argue, are you?”

You pressed your lips into a straight line to hide a smile, shaking your head lightly.

“Well, okay.” He let out a small noise as he got up. “Guess I’m sleeping business class tonight.”

Sam walked past you, careful not to bump into you. You swapped places with him, making your way to the couch, readjusting the blanket that was haphazardly left there.

“Y/N.” You peered at him from the corner of your eye, only to fully turn when you caught his gaze. “I appreciate it.”

You just nodded, tossing the blanket over yourself as he switched off the light.

Next part

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yeahimaloser · 4 years

Text

Cutie 2

Hawks x shy!reader

Ok, so I wanted to make a part 2 of Cutie bc a lot of people really liked it!

But I didn’t think it had any spice, so here it is!! (just fluff tho nothing more :))

no pronouns mentioned!

Warnings: kidnappings

please enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shuffled against your boyfriend Hawks, also known to you as Keigo, trying to get out of his grasp. But he just groaned against you. He was snuggling up against you in bed, being the little attention hog he is.

“Mmmm, babeeee don’t leave,” he held your waist tighter and nuzzled his face into your neck as your back was pressed up against his chest.

You were glad he couldn’t see your expression because of how flustered you were. “Keigo, we need to go to work.”

You wiggled a little bit more out of his grasp in order to turn and look at him. You cupped his cheek, making him hold tighter to you.

You and Keigo had been dating for a year now. And the both of you we’re so happy together.

...but no one else knew.

It was mostly for his job, but also for your safety as well.

No one in the office knew ethier, in fact Keigo acted like he didn’t even know you. But that was mainly because you asked him, you didn’t want any special treatment from him.

That being said, when you had to drop off some documents to him in his office he would give you a few quick kisses before you left. But besides that, Keigo was an amazing actor.

“Kei-”

This morning Keigo seemed particularly handsy. His hands ran circles on the sides of your waists, kissing down your neck.

“Y/n, as your boss it’s your job to stay in bed and cuddle with me.”

You gave a little giggle, “Kei, I love you a lot, but we really need to leave.”

At this, Keigo groaned.

“Lets just take off work,” he said, “I promise to make it up to you, I'll make breakfast~.”

You looked away from his face, “No Kei, p-please just let me go.” You didn’t mean to stutter, it would just come out when you were embarrassed.

But to this, Keigo just groaned, “Then stop being so damn cute. Do you realize how hard it is to stop cuddling you when you get all flustered like that?”

This just made you more flustered.

Keigo looked at the time and growled, “Damn, ok,” he said letting go of you, “you win, we should probably go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Keigo had fingered out a system in order for you two to arrive at different times.

It was quite simple, he would fly as you took the bus.

Keigo actually told you that sometimes he wished you two would go public with your relationship so he could escort you to the office himself.

When you finally walked through the doors, you felt something hot poor down the front of your shirt.

“Y/n! I’m so sorry!”

You told your co-worker you were ok, but your clothes weren't. The coffee would probably make stains on your clothes.

“Do you just want to go home and get something?” your co worker asked. “You’ll have to ask Hawks first, but he' a good guy. I'm sure he’ll be fine with letting you go home or something.”

You nodded, making your way to Hawkses office. You gave a light knock.

“Come in.”

After you entered and he saw you, Hawks seemed very concerned, “Are you ok? Did it burn you? If it did I’m ok with you going home for the rest of the day. Lemme take a look-”

“Keigo,” you said, giggling a little. Keigo was always a little protective of you, but you thought it was adorable. “I’m fine, really, I think I have an extra sweater,” you gave him a little kiss on his cheek, “But thank you honey.”

He just chuckled, pulling you into him, “You're so cute, you know that?” The embarrassed look on your face made his smile brighten.

He gave you a small kiss, and then you left.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you thought your day couldn’t get worse, you were wrong.

Apparently one of your coworkers got sick, and the paperwork he needed to fill out needed to be signed by today. And for whatever reason, you got handed the job.

This was the one time Keigo wished he could use his power to make your life easier, but he knew better.

That being said, he pulled you away for a second to talk to you.

“Love bird, I’m so sorry. If I could, I would help you-”

You sighed, but smiled at him, “Kei, just go home and make something to eat. I'llI'll be home before you know it,” you ran your hand through his hair, “ok?”

He smiled and kissed your cheek, he chuckled at your flustered face, “Baby, we’ve been dating for a long while now. How are you not used to me kissing you?”

You shook your head, “J-just go home! I n-need to go to work,” but Hawks just chuckled in your ear, “Ok honey. I love you.”

You smiled, “I love you too.”

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You thought that this wouldn’t take as long as it did.

But here you are, 2 hours in and all you wanted to do was go home to Keigo and cuddle with him while eating chicken and watch bad movies.

But, you had to get this done. You just had a few more documents to get into and then you would be done.

That was until you heard a loud crash.

Now, you were all by yourself. No one else was in the building, so needless to say you were scared.

Your first thought was to call Keigo and tell him that your concerns. But you decided against that, he was probably so tired and most likely it was nothing. Something probably dropped.

So you went to investigate.

You wished you hadn’t.

When you turned the corner to check on the sound, you saw 3 villains.

They all turned to look at you, and you tried to run but one of them got to you first.

“Awww shit, I thought you said no one was going to be here,” the one who caught you said.

“No one was supposed to be,” the bigger villain said, “The agence was supposed to be empty.”

You struggled against the villains grip, but he just held you tighter.

“I wouldn’t do that. Hey, I got an idea. Lets just use this dumbass as a hostage!”

The rest of the villains agreed.

All you wanted to do was run home to Keigo, for him to comfort you and tell you everything would be ok.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keigo was getting worried about you.

It had been hours, and you weren’t home.

Keigo tried to calm himself by watching TV, but someone decided to call him.

He checked the caller ID to see it was his sidekick. He was confused, why was his sidekick calling him so late? He had the night off.

“Hello?”

“Hawks sir! Someone broke into the agency! And it looks like they have a hostage!”

Keigo’s mind went blank, he knew that only one person was left in the agency. You.

He quickly got his hero costume on, and was out the door under in a few minutes. He flew into the night sky, going as fast as his wings could carry him.

Keigo wouldn’t lie, he was terrified. You were his salvation, his whole world, if anything happened to you…

He shook his head, he couldn’t think about that. He just needed to get to you.

When he finally landed to assess the situation, he wanted to run in and kick the shit out of anyone who hurt you. But he strained himself, he needed to assess the information. He needed to calm down, he needed to find you and save you.

“Hawks sir!” his sidekick made his way over to him, “The coworker is still insi-”

Hawks cut him off, “I’m aware, what are you doing about it? '' his tone was cold, but he couldn’t care. You were the only thing that was important to him at that moment.

“No sir, we didn’t want to move in until you got here,” his sidekick informed.

Hawks thought for a minute “Ok, here's the plan…”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were so scared.

The only reason you weren’t losing your mind, was because you knew Keigo would come and save you.

But that didn’t help you calm down.

“Did you make the demands yet,” one of them asked the other two.

“Yup,” the bigger one said, “the only thing they asked for was the hostage unharmed.”

“Well, I th- AHHHHHH!”

Your head shoots up to look at your captured scream, only to see your amazing hero boyfriend instead.

Hawks quickly finished off the other villains as well, tieing them up and knocking them out.

You’ve never seen him this mad in your life, but once his eyes turned towards you, he immediately softed.

“Hey baby, it’s ok,” he quickly untied you, and as soon as he did he enveloped you in a hug. He wiped the tears off your cheeks, you didn’t even remember crying.

“I’m here dove. I’m so sorry, I-I flew as fast as I could. But it wasn’t fast enough.” He kissed your face trying to calm you down, but all you could do was cry and cling to him.

He took a deep breath, “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up ok? I need to get you checked for any cuts or… deeper wounds,” Hawks sounded down right pained, you could tell he was worried about you. You just sobbed harder.

“I-I’m O-ok, j-just wanna g-go ho-home,” Keigo messaged your back, he looked so upset. He knew that he had to get you to the paramedics first, but all he wanted to do was go home with you and cuddle you to death. Tell you everything was going to be ok, tell you he would protect you with his life.

But his logical side took over, he needed to be rational.

“Love bird, we need to get you checked. I have dinner all made and I’ll run you a nice warm bath when we get home. But you have to do this one thing for me. Ok?”

You just nodded, tears still running down your cheeks.

Hawks helped you out of the building, being as gentle as he could.

After getting you checked and having the villains arrested, Keigo took you home.

As he promised he practically did everything for you. Made you dinner, ran a nice bath, he even offered to feed you.

You could tell how badly he was feeling, “Kie r-really, I’m o-ok,” you tried to stop the nervous stutter but you couldn’t.

But Keigo still felt like his heart was bursting into a million pieces. “My love, all I want is for you to feel safe again. I don’t think I can forgive myself for this, so please just let me pamper you.”

You looked down at your feet, “Kei, really it’s not your fault-”

“But it is,” when you looked back up at him, he looked so distraught. “It is my fault, I should have stayed with you. Or at least checked up on you,” Keigo grabbed your hand, “what kind of hero would I be if I can’t even protect the one I love? I-I thought you could be hurt, and I’m so glad you wernt love bird.” His eyes were casted downwards.

He sounded so… sad.

Before he could say anything more, you leaned into him and gave him a kiss.

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When you kissed him, he felt his whole body melt into yours. The softness of it all was so tender and sweet. He leaned more into you, hungry for your love. He wanted to feel your love and warmth, he needed it. It was practically intoxicating. The way you shyly squirmed under his grasp, the way you kissed him to let him know how much you loved him.

He wanted it

But you ran out of breath, so you tried to pull away.

But Keigo wasn’t letting you, not yet.

He just needed your tenderness, your softness. Just for one second more.

But he let you go, and he took a shaky breath.

“Sorry about that honey, I probably should have let you pull away,” he said nervously.

Your face was just so cute. Your embarrassed expression, your heart achingly soft eyes, everything about you was adorable.

“It’s ok Keigo, really, I just want you to feel better,” you stroked his face, he put his hand over yours.

“I should be the one conferting you dove,” Keigo said, giving you a sad smile, “I should be your hero. I want you to feel protected and safe, and I failed.”

“Keigo, I’m still scared. But you're with me, and I know that you’ll always protect me. And,” you looked down at your feet, “Maybe I can help protect you too.” You gave him the sweetest smile that made him almost burst into tears just because of how full of love his heart was.

He pampered your face with millions of little kisses, “God dove, I’m so lucky to have you. Thank you.”

But you gave him a shy look, “o-oh, Kei,” you stuttered. “B-but I should thank you too. You amazing Keigo, I love you so much. Everyday I-” you stopped, just for a minute, “I want to be happy with you. I’m so glad that I found you, e-even though I get so shy and anxious you always make me feel loved. Do I want you to feel that way too! Because you deserve it.”

A tear slipped from Keigo’s eyes.

You quickly wiped it away, “Keigo! I’m sorry, did I say something bad? I’m sorry, I just-”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keigo kissed you, but this time it was more rough and passionate. Full of need and want, he wanted you, he needed you.

You kissed back harder, trying to tell him how much you wanted him too.

After dating Keigo for as long as you have, you thought you’ve seen it all with him.

But you realized you were wrong.

You had never felt him this needy.

His lips felt like they needed you to tell them how much you cared. He ran circles down your sides, cradling your body.

He pulled away, “I love you so much, my cutie.”

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hehe, I hope I did ok!

Also master-list should be uploaded tomorrow!

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #mha keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha keigo takami #keigo x reader #mha fanfiction #keigo takami #hawks fic

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plush-rabbit · 4 years

Text

Can I Ask You Something?

| Part 10 |

There’s an odd thing about what happened that night. How he came to you unannounced without explanation, how you were sick to your stomach and feared that no one would hear your last breaths, how you touched him on your own will, letting your fingers rest upon his bare skin and craved his touch afterwards. But at the same time, your smiles were smaller and seemingly more tired than what he’s seen before and you made sure that space was between the two of you, eyes always watching him or more specifically- his hands. You hardly took your eyes off of them, always trailing them, always watching how they clasped around items with a finger held upwards, reaching out. You thought back to when you first saw him, furrowing your brows and sucking in your bottom lip when you successfully remembered that he had done that the night of the first hang out. You chastised yourself and wondered how you could be so blind, but only shook your head afterwards. No one immediately thinks that they’re friend could be a criminal. You thought of it as a tic or something, thought that perhaps he just grew into the habit and it stuck. You never would’ve realized that- It doesn’t matter. No amount of reasoning to yourself could ever make you feel better, could ever make you free of guilt. You know who he is and yet you haven’t gone off to report him. You kept his secret with tight lips and nervous laughter and a sickness that only faded when you slept.

You were interested in him, fascinated and grew a false image of him in your mind where he was someone good. You liked talking to him, liked telling him about your day. You liked how he looked on camera with dim lighting and shadows across his face. You liked how he talked and laughed at a poor attempt at a joke. You liked him. But now you feared him. You feared his wide smile, his hands, his eyes. You were terrified of him, never wanting to take your eyes off of him and his hands. His eyes weren’t red like rubies, they were red like fresh blood. His dry skin wasn’t just dry skin, it was clawed and red, angry and bloody. His hands weren’t long and careful, they were sharp and precise.

You had gotten lucky that time. You swallowed whatever you could in your dry mouth, more out of habit than anything else and kept your breath even, trying to calm down the storm brewing inside of you. Anytime you scratched at your skin, you would pull away, shaking and nervous, eyes glancing around the room as if you’d find a pair of eyes watching you. It was all too reminiscent of him. Touching your own wrist with the hand that touched his, made your skin burn. If you closed your eyes, you could feel his skin underneath your touch, the warmth of it, the coldness beneath it. It both terrified you and made you crave more all at once. He was a friend before and now he’s different. He’s different in your eyes but the same to the rest of the country.

The day outside was nice. A blue sky with white fluffy clouds that looked like they belonged on a painting with leaves that fluttered to the ground and twirled in the air in little spirals. It was a nice day, perfect to clear your mind and try to put any negative thoughts to the side. With heavy steps, you dragged yourself to a walk around the park, trying to stretch your legs and hoping that video you saw online about walking and anxiety was an actual thing and not some sort of placebo.

It’s working. Kind of. You think the fresh air definitely helps clear your mind but the churning mess in your stomach continues. It worked in the beginning- the walk. It helped you clear your head and when you listened to a playlist, you were able to daydream about anything else that was able to take your mind off of him for a moment. You didn’t want to think about him right now, he had already plagued your mind at every other hours of the day. You just needed a bit of time where you could feel yourself unwind without the constant fear of getting sick and spewing whatever you had in your stomach.

You never wanted to fear him. You wanted to be his friend, you wanted a friend that you met online and that’s it. You didn’t want whatever complicated entanglement of emotions this was. You just wanted for things to go back to normal.

But it never could and you think that’s the worst part of it all. He’s always going to be tainted in your mind.

There was only one saving grace to this entire ordeal- he cared for you- somewhat. He hadn’t killed you (yet), he showed his face to you, and he let you touch his neck and wrist without turning you to dust. You were fine. You were still alive and he had made sure that during his last attack, you were home.

You’re relieved. You’re disgusted. Your face heats at the thought of him. You fume when you remember who he is. You’re a tangled mess of emotions and whenever you try to detangle it, it causes you more pain and sickness. You wonder if he’d allow you to leave him. You wonder if you’d even have the courage; if you’d even want to.

The music fades and is replaced with a shrill ring that makes you flinch and answer quickly.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” his voice is gruff.

“You’re gonna need to be a lot more specific than that,” you tease, easily falling back into your olds ways. It’s easy to do this, easy to hear his voice and think he’s just another friend.

“Funny.” You can practically hear him roll his eyes. When you remain silent waiting for confirmation, he sighs. “Tomura.”

“Now was that so hard?” It’s so much easier to pretend that he’s still Tomura.

“Yes,” he growls. “You knew it was me.”

“Eh,” you shrug, turning on your heel to walk back to your apartment. “I hadn’t looked at the caller ID when you called so I was like only ninety percent sure it was you?”

“That’s dumb. Why hadn’t you checked?”

“I was listening to my tunes and then the ring was super loud and painful and I really didn’t want to hear it anymore.” You always were so open with him and now that it counts to keep quiet about your life, you can’t seem to shut up. “Anyways, what’s up? It’s pretty early for one of our calls.”

“Is it?” You hear him hum. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“You hadn’t checked the time before you called?”

“I was ninety percent sure it was late when I called,” he said sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes. “Anyone ever told you you’re funny?”

“I think I’m hilarious.” He sounds so smug on the other line.

“Oh of course you are,” you smirk and skip over a crack on the sidewalk. “Whenever we talk, I’m always in stitches.”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“Perhaps,” you purse your lips.

“I’ve made you laugh.” He pauses. “Have I?”

“Hm… I’m sure you have during one of our calls,” you stick the tip of your tongue out. “I’ve made you laugh,” you point out.

“That’s because whatever comes out of your mouth is ridiculous.”

“Wow,” you can feel your grin growing. “Just wow. Going right for the jugular, huh?” You scoff, and bring a hand up to rub at your neck, fingers freezing when they feel your pulse underneath.

“I’m not wrong.”

“You know, you’re not being very nice right now.” Your hand twirls the headphone wire around a finger. “I almost have half the mind to hang up,” you joke.

“Are you going to?” Overhead a bird chirps, fluttering onto a tree branch and hopping over to a nest. The bird flutters away when another comes onto the same branch. You try to follow it with your eyes but lose it as flies beyond your sight.

“No. I like talking to you,” your smirk grows, “even if you don’t make me laugh.”

“Fuck off,” he growls.

You give him a small laugh and it slowly fades away. You can hear him boast about how he made you laugh, poking fun at you and sarcastically repeating your last statement. You hum in response to him. The laughter that had bubbled out of you was sweet and light but you still feel sick.

“Yeah,” you speak softly, “you made me laugh.” It’s a rollercoaster of emotions with him, you never know what to feel and what to expect. “But I still think I’ve made you laugh more.”

“Tch. Whatever.”

“So like I mentioned earlier, it’s early for one of our calls. What’s up?”

You hear him clear his throat. “I don’t know,” he says. “I think I just wanted to talk to you.” The sentence makes both your heart full and ache all at once.

“Oh. That’s… unusually kind of you to say.”

“Shut it dumbass,” he says in a low voice and in the distant you think you hear a door slam.

“What? You said it!” You shake your head. “You’re not usually so nice to me—”

“Yes I am,” he argues.

“Tomura, you literally called me a dumbass.”

“It’s a nickname,” he argues.

“Nickname?” You say in exasperated voice. “You know, I’m not having this conversation.” You take in a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, I like talking to you too. You’re fun to talk to and uh, believe it or not, you’re interesting to be around,” you exhale and the knot in your stomach has loosened.

“What are you doing?” He changes the conversation and his voice is tight.

“I’m walking home. I went for a walk around the park to clear my head a bit.”

“About?”

“Just… too many thoughts, you know?”

“I guess.” He takes in a sharp inhale and gives a weak cough. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks hesitantly.

“No, no. It’s fine. It’s uh, remember that thing I cried about when you came over last?” You can feel your face burn in embarrassment. You still hadn’t gotten over that you actually cried in front of him.

“Yes.”

“Just about that. About them,” you whisper out.

“They sound like a dick.”

Your laugh is humorless. “No. They’re- They’re really cool. They’re a bit rough around the edges but I like them. They’re really- They’re really something special to me.”

He’s silent. “Well if they ever piss you off—”

“What?” You smirk. “You’ll kill them for me?” Your stomach drops. “It’s just a little friendly squabble,” you speak rapidly, shaking your hand in front of you, your steps hurrying. “It’s just a lot on me, seriously.” The thought that he would potentially kill for you (Is it even for you? Did you jump to conclusions prematurely?) makes you queasy.

“Whatever.” You don’t miss how he doesn’t deny your little “joke”. “If you really have a problem with this person, I don’t see why you don’t just talk to them or drop them.”

You wonder if you can be truthful with him. You wonder if he could or would ever be truthful with you. You sigh. “It’s not easy. I- I really like this person a lot. He means a lot to me and I know- or at least I want to believe- that he doesn’t mean to hurt me but, you know. Sometimes things happen on accident.” You kick a stray rock and watch it bounce off of the sidewalk and into the murky water on the side of the road.

“If he’s hurting you—”

You interrupt him. “I don’t think he’s aware that he’s hurting me- on accident or on purpose. He- He doesn’t know that I know something—” you’re pushing it— “but I can’t tell him that I know.”

“Why?”

The view of your apartment grows closer. “I don’t think he’d be very happy with me,” you speak gently, voice strained. “I think… I think best case scenario, he won’t care and we can still be friends. Worst case scenario—” you remember his long, thin hands with cracks in them— “he could kill me.”

“What?” He seethes out.

You jump and halt in your steps. “Tha-That’s like worst case scenario though!” You’re quick to rectify your mistake. “I uh, usually overthink things and my mind likes to think of the absolute worst outcome possible.”

“If he—”

“He means well. At least I think he means well.” You wonder how long you can go with describing your predicament until he catches on. “I just… I found out something I shouldn’t have. And,” you lip quivers, “I messed up is all.” You can hear the beginning of a word on his tongue, ready to start his sentence until you cut him short once again. “Can you promise me something?”

“What?” There’s curiosity and gentleness mixed into his voice.

“You have to pinkie swear about being honest or I won’t tell you.”

“We’re over the phone?”

“Just you know hold it up,” you hold your pinky up and you’re reminded of him again, “and curl it. It can be our thing. All friends have a thing.”

“You’re being childish.”

“Tomura,” you whine.

He clicks his tongue. “Fine. I pinkie promise,” his voice is mocking but you take it.

“Did you do the curl thing?” You still have your pinkie curled in front of you.

“Yes,” he grunts out.

“Okay,” you take a hop in your step and climb the staircase to your apartment, peeling paint falling from the rails from under your touch on the railing of the stairs. “Will… Will you promise that you’ll never be mad at me?”

He’s quiet for just a moment, and you lean against the railing of your apartment, watching people walk below you. Your finger scratches over the peeling paint and you sooth it over with the pads of your fingers.

“I can’t promise that.”

You can feel your heart stop. “Why?”

“You’ve pissed me off before, I’m sure you’ll do it again.”

You nod into the receiver. It’s a still moment between the two of you. Somewhere above you, you hear a door click close with heavy steps that fade away. There’s laughter and shouts around you, fast climbing of the stairs and whistling. There’s life around you and on the other sound of the phone is someone who brings death.

“Yeah,” you speak softly, “I guess that makes sense.” You wonder if he ever did think about killing you.

“What about you?” He asks, his voice serious. “Will you ever be mad at me?”

The setting sun casts orange across the sky, mixed with hues of blue and pink. Shadows stretch long into the road below and it seems that with the fading daylight, people match the mood that is outside, their voices are quieter, with the sting of coming cold nipping at their skins and cold winds that make their clothes flutter. “I don’t know. I think fights in friendships are normal so I can’t exactly promise that.”

“So we’re going to fight?”

If you focus, you think you can see your breath in front of you. “Maybe.” Your phone buzzes in your hand. “I hope not.”

“Are you home?”

“Yeah, I got home a bit ago.” Your hand grips the railing and your knuckles turn white. “Right now, I’m just outside.” Somewhere, you can hear the barking of dogs and the honk of a car. “Do you want to have a video call? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” you turn around and open the door, goose bumps ride your skin and you bring a hand to soothe over your chilled skin. “If you want, you know,” you add.

“Sure,” his reply is quick. “Let me just get set up.”

“Yeah, same. See you in a bit then.”

You shut the door and your press your back against the wood. The flat is dark, weak strays of sunlight peek through the blinds and share a bit of its warmth and guidance. It’s dark inside, and for a moment you’re alone. The noise from the outside is gone. There is no noise and only fleeting sunlight which is overpowered by the shadows. You’re still for a minute. And then you take a deep breath with closed eyes and hold it for a few seconds, letting it go slowly. You peel yourself off of the door and make your way inside.

He waits for you to accept his call, His hands reach over to his face, clawed and extended but he stops an inch before he can feel his skin. Red eyes dart over to the corner of the room where an old blanket is clumped and hiding something.

It’s your gift to him.

It holds a few creams of different scents, one with no scent, a few soap bars that were in the shape of macaroons and one in a rectangle that smelled of the night after rain. It was a sweet, personalized gift that you had given him, complete with a note that read:

To Tomura,

Hope this makes your skin feel better! Tell me if it doesn’t and I can try new things to get you:)

With love Love,

Your friend

He can’t remember the last time someone wrote him a note or had even given him a gift. It all remains untouched. He picked everything carefully out of the bag the night he returned home, and dragged a finger across the edges, carefully minding the placement of the rest of his hands. He told himself, he won’t ever use it- it was all too precious to him. If he used it, it would run out and he would be forced to throw your gift away.

He couldn’t promise you that he won’t ever get mad at you but when he looks at the thin, tearing fabric that protects something that you had given to him, for him, he makes up his mind. He won’t ever be mad at you. He can’t hurt you. He’ll lay waste to society and make sure that you remain untouched. There’s warmth in his chest as he carefully walks over to wear the bag sits, how his hands carefully remove the tissue paper and he moves at a slow pace until he picks the note up and places it next to him. The blanket shrouds the gift, protecting it poorly from wandering eyes and he grabs the note and makes his way back to his seat.

He folds it open and lays it to rest next to the monitor, watching as it tries to flutter to a close only to be opened back up with a fold in the opposite direction to make sure it stays.

“Love,” he whispers. It’s a foreign word on his tongue. It’s a deep, meaningful word and he’s sure he’s felt some form of it before. To his sensei, to Kurogiri, to the League even if he won’t admit it out loud. But it’s all felt different. Was it devotion? A sense of familiarity? Camaraderie? None of it ever gave him this feeling. It was as if he were on fire whenever he saw you; he needed to hear you, needed to know that you were still oblivious and cared for him. And you do- if the present is anything to go by. He’s going to do his best to make sure no harm comes towards you. You already have someone who’s hurting you, but if he acts on it now then you’ll push yourself away from him, your attention won’t be on him- you will be busy mourning and sobbing over someone who isn’t him.

He’ll bide his time if it means that you’ll stay with him in the end.

A soft ringing fills his room and he jumps. He runs a calloused hand through his hair and lets out a breath, his heart pumping erratically and with shaky fingers, he clicks the accept button.

You fill the screen with wide eyes and bottom lip that is bitten between teeth. There’s a soft light that fills the room and he sees that you’re in the living room.

“Tomura, hey,” you breathe out, a lopsided smile taking over your features. “What’s up?”

He fights off the grin that comes naturally when he talks to you, allowing a smirk to replace it as his canine glints. “Nothing, really. I finished all my games so there’s not much for me to do now.”

“Whoa!” Your eyes light up and you stand straighter with your hands in loose fists- you were so easy to impress. “You finished all of them? Even the one where you had trouble with the final boss?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, even that one.”

“Did you look up any cheat codes?”

He narrows his eyes and you and scratches at his upper lip. “No. It just some grinding is all.”

“Oh okay.” Your hands loosen and arms are crossed against your chest. “So now you don’t have any games to play?”

He shakes his head with closed eyes.

When he opens them, the corner of your mouth twitches and he narrows his eyes by a fraction. “So why don’t you go out and buy more? If you want, I can tell you a few of my favorites so we can talk about them together? Or,” you glance to the side, “we could go together? Like a—”

“Like a date?” He raises a brow.

Your face flushes a darker shade and you quickly turn your head to the side, your lips pulled into a thin line with furrowed brows. “Ye-Yeah. Like a date.” You clear your throat, when you look back at him you have a shaky smile on and your voice wavers. “You know- if you wanted.”

He slumps against his seat and lets out a sigh. “I would have declined.”

You let out a deflated “oh” and shuffle awkwardly in your seat. Your lips are downturned and he feels a sting in his chest.

“I hate public spaces. I already told you,” he says hastily. “I would prefer to just order the game online or something else.” Something else is breaking into a store and taking what he wanted. “But I suppose I would take your suggestions,” he says with a silvery voice.

“I guess that makes sense.” He frowns when your voice is still low and disappointed. His hand reaches towards cheekbone, eyes darting across your features and meeting your eyes. He narrows his eyes when you keep focused on his hands and sighs with annoyance; he brings his hand down and curls his hand into a fist. “My tastes are pretty different compared to yours. That game we used to play was the first- er, action game, that I played.”

You still won’t meet his eyes, keeping them focused on literally anything else.

He clenches his jaw and fights back a groan. “I still wouldn’t mind hearing about the games you play.”

“Nah, we probably don’t like the same things,” you wave a hand in front of you; “I shouldn’t bored you with my stuff. How was your day today?”

You’re quick to change the conversation, leaning forward with an expectant smile while you wait for him to answer your question. “It was fine. I just stayed indoors.”

“Right,” you roll your eyes with a smirk, “I forgot that you didn’t like the outdoors.” You smirk falls a bit before it’s picked back up.

“It’s stupid.” The corner of his lip twitches upwards when your attention is focused on him. “All those fucking heroes waltzing around and—”

“Okay, I get,” you snap. He gives you a look and you clamp your mouth shut. “I just,” you chew on your bottom lip, “you don’t like heroes or the outdoors, I get it.”

“What’s up your ass?” His eyes dart to the corner where your note lays still and uninterrupted.

“Tomura,” you scold.

“What? You’re snappy. What is it?”

You bow your head and the arms crossed in front of you move to wrap themselves around you. “I’m not snappy,” you say defiantly, puffing out your chest. “It’s nothing, I just- I get it. You mentioned before that you didn’t like heroes and you don’t like public spaces. I get it.”

“I can’t vent to you now?” He tilts his head and his leg jerks you flinch away from him.

“It’s not that,” you reply meekly already losing your bravado.

“Then what is it?”

When you look up at him, he can see your eyes shine and you blink back the tears away. Did you want to cry? Did he make you want to cry? “It’s just- I don’t want to get into politics right now. Okay?”

“You think talking about heroes is political?”

Your face is flushed and you lean away from the screen. “Of course it is,” you spit out, your face pulled into a grimace, looking down at your lap as if you were ashamed to speak against him. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Are you going to hate me if we do?” You shake your head no but it isn’t enough for him. “I can’t hear you.”

When you look up at him, his breath comes to a halt. Your face is stoic and your arms have fallen from the self-hug. “No,” you look to the side and lower your head slightly. “I’m not gonna hate you Tomura. I just don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t want to fight either.” It’s the truth. He doesn’t want to make you fear him. He doesn’t want a reason to hate you- you’re something good in his life, something pure and untouched and right now, you’re iffy about heroes but he can change that. He can do so much good for you but it’ll just take a bit of time.

“I’m sorry.” You look at him with wide eyes and a lowered head, like a dog that’s getting reprimanded by its owner.

He bites down on the inside of his cheek and lets it slip once he can taste blood. “Are you okay?” He has to play it safe, he can’t scare you off. He doesn’t know when or if he’ll ever reveal himself, but he can’t scare you off.

You give out a scoff with a small smile gracing your features. “Yeah, I just, sorry. I’ve uh- It was a long day is all and I’m sorry I snapped.”

“No harm, no foul.” When you look at with raised eyebrows and the smile that has now fallen, he bites back a curse. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He scratches at his forehead and unclenches his jaw.

He wonders if you would have left him if the fight had escalated. He hates what you make him feel, what you make him do. If you were anyone else or if it was early on in the relationship, he would’ve ended you right then and there. But instead, he gave you half-assed apology and felt bad about making you feel small.

“It’s… been a rough day is all. I shouldn’t have snapped and yeah. It’s behind us,” you tell him, giving him a halfhearted smile.

“Yeah, I guess it has,” he breathes out, leaning against the seat. “So was everything else about you day as bad as right now?” He jokes, a smile quivering on his lips before it falls and he has to force himself to smile.

“Right now it isn’t bad. We had a little disagreement but that’s all it was,” you retort. “It’s going to happen Tomura but I’m never going to—” You stop yourself and click your tongue. You look away from him, from the monitor in its entirety and you stare off into the distance. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.” You sound melancholic when you speak, your shoulders slumped in defeat and though he feels thrilled at hearing those words, feeling light and his muscles twitching with excitement, he can’t help but hate the way you look so exhausted. But in a blink of an eye, you’re back to smiling, and if it was any earlier on in this relationship that you two held, he wouldn’t have noticed how the smile didn’t reach your eyes but now, he swallows when you still hold sadness, when the smile isn’t a full curve but gentle and fragile, as if it could break with one wrong word.

He can’t bear to see you like that. He can’t bear to know that you’re hurt because he snapped at you and fuck! It’s all so complicated with you.

“I can tell you about my day,” he says with a hand clenching around the other, “in detail if you’d like,” he adds, looking down at his lap.

“Really?” Your eyes are wide and finally your smile does reach your eyes. He’s sick to his stomach when he realizes that he wants more of it, that he needs to see you smile more. You’re happy because of him. Everything about you is so easy.

“On one condition,” he holds up a finger and misses the way your eyes go wide. He looks at you expectantly.

“What is it?” You say in a weak voice.

“You have a picture of me right?” His chest is tight; it feels as if an immeasurable weight is resting above him.

“Yeah,” you say with a puzzled tone. “Why do you ask?”

“Because,” he can feel his throat tighten, “I don’t have a picture of you. So, you know.” He rolls his hand and looks off to the side, face burning with a bright shade of red.

“Aw!” He flinches when you coo, your voice already high, coated with a teasing tone. “Do you want a picture of me? That’s so cute!”

“Shut up.” He tries to sound threatening but it only makes you laugh more.

“No! Come on! It’s cute. You of all people want a selfies of your bestest friend,” he cringes at the word, “Big, bad—”

His eyes snap towards you where you have teeth bitten down on your bottom lip. “What?” He asks, eyes narrowed and calculating as they search your face.

“You know,” your voice cracks and you clear your throat, “you said last time that your scar made you look scary and I,” you trail off and you look terrified. He’s about to open his mouth when you beat him to it. “I told you it was cute but you- you had said it made you look scary and I thought teasing you about you being all scary like would be funny. It- You aren’t ba- scary. You’re cute.”

He’s still tense. Cold eyes still analyzing you but you flinch and can’t meet his eyes. You look scared and he can’t bring the thought to life.

“Tomura say something please,” you sound like you’re about to cry.

His eyes dart to your lip that wobbles and he clears his throat. “Are you going to send me a picture or not.”

He breathes a sigh of relief when you nod vigorously. “Of course!” Your eyes finally meet his. “But I want to hear you talk first. And then I’ll send it. I promise,” you hold out your pinky and he scoffs at the childish act but does the same, smiling when you curl in your small finger and mouth the word “promise”.

He feels sick. There’s a burning sensation that floods his body and threatens to consume him and leave nothing but ash in its wake. But when he looks at you, when you smile at him and urge him to talk, he feels calm, the white, hot fire inside of him has simmered and his mind is clear of any fog. He nods and takes in a deep breath. In the corner of his eye, he catches the word “love” written in your handwriting.

Talking to others is tiresome but it’s doable. He knows what to say before he’s had a chance to even think about it. But when he talks to you, he has to watch his words, has to think first and make time for the next anecdote. But you listen to him and take in every word, you never stop smiling at him, often chuckling and inputting your own thoughts. You engage with him. You treat him like a person. You’re complicated. He’s complicated. This entire relationship isn’t meant to last- wasn’t meant to last as long as it has. But it’s still going, you’re still answering his calls and he’s still answering your messages. Feelings don’t come easy to him, you don’t come easy to him but you still welcome him with teasing remarks that no one else would have dared to make.

You make feel as if he wasn’t bred for hatred. You make him feel as if he’s supposed to want more than what he currently wants. He doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate the things that you make him feel. It’s new and sickening. It leaves him confused but when he spends a few hours hearing your voice, he feels calm, relaxed and he ends up craving more and more at the end of it.

“I like you,” he blurts out, face immediately burning and the need to put on Father greater than any other need. His hands curl into sharp talons and they slowly inched upwards to his neck, ready to claw and free the blood that burned his body.

You look taken aback with eyes wide and mouth parted. He wishes you would say something. He wants- needs you to at least do something other than gawk at him.

And then your face closes, your lips meet and break out into a grin that reaches your eyes which shine with an emotion he’s unfamiliar with. “I like you too Tomura. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You mean a lot to me.” Your eyes dart to the bottom edge of the screen where his hands can barely be seen. “We’re close. At least I think we are,” your shrug and look away from him, “so it’s okay to be a little vulnerable around each other.” You meet his eyes. “Okay?”

You’re being vague. He doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. He doesn’t know if “like” is even the correct word. He enjoys being around, talking to you- he likes it when you smile at him and when his name rolls off of your tongue like it was always meant to. He does like you. And he doesn’t know how you feel about him. You didn’t reject him so that’s a positive direction. You didn’t laugh or hang up the call, you reassured him, you told him you liked him. You were vulnerable in front of him, you let him know it was okay to be vulnerable.

He doesn’t know if he should thank you the vagueness or scowl and throw a tantrum like he once would have. The aforementioned behavior that he once did brings a burning flame to him.

“Thanks,” he says softly, rolling his tongue in his mouth.

You look at him in confusion and your smile is small but holds no animosity towards him. He doubts it ever will. You called him cute, you’ve kept this friendship going, you’ve done so much already and he can’t thank you enough.

“You’re welcome Tomura” you whisper back to him, leaning your head against the couch and he has the urge to go to you right now and- Nothing. He can’t do anything with you. Yet. But he will one day. He can lie to you but he can’t lie to himself and for now, your note will suffice, the scents that you picked out for him will fill his senses, apple and vanilla, honey and mint will invade until he’s grown sick of them.

When the call ends, a black screen in front of him and his reflection stares back at him. You had called him cute. You smiled at him with this softness that he’s only received from you. Everything that he’s received from you is his first time- your gentle touch on his neck, one that you asked for and reached with slow fingers that seared into his skin and memory, your hand upon his wrist when he could see that you were nervous, shaking and mouth parted open with bitten lips as you were falling apart before his eyes.

You chose to hold onto to him- to touch him. You reached out towards him- you always did. He’s not going to tell you who he is, not until he can make sure that you won’t betray him. He’s going to keep you close and blind, make sure that you trust him with everything that you have before he can even mention who he really is.

There’s a knock on his door and he immediately shuts off the monitor. “What?” he calls out, turning his head a fraction of an inch to the side.

“Have fun with your little meeting?” His voice is gruff and he smells of smoke and tobacco.

“Plenty,” he responds too quick for his own liking.

“Look I really don’t care about your personal—”

“Is there something you needed?” Shigaraki bares his teeth at the intruder. “Make it quick.”

“Just wanted to tell you that we’re all getting a bit antsy.” Hands drum against the doorframe. “You’re the so called leader so go and I don’t know, calm their minds.” He leaves without waiting for a response, leaving the door open and suddenly Shigaraki feels exposed.

He rises slowly and cracks his neck, jaw twitching and suddenly his eyes are cold and he places a cold hand on top of his face and walks out the door, closing it shut with a soft click.

At the end of it all, you’re a hypocrite. You’re terrified of him- you want to continue to have him in your life. You’re sick at the thought of him- you adore talking to him. You were never good at making decisions, always too curious at what the options held, always too nervous to seek something out. You don’t want him out of your life, but you know that having him in your life will bring nothing but heartache and regret.

He likes you for now. Right now, you’re entertaining to him. But it’s always going to be a countdown until he grows tired of you or until you prove to be a threat. Him going out of his way to meet you is a big enough of threat to himself but your entertainment value must outweigh that. And it does- for now.

With shaky hands, you raise your hands to wrap themselves gently across your neck. You swallow and you can feel the movement underneath your thumbs. You can feel your pulse light and steady, your eyes burn with unshed tears and you wonder how long you have until the timer reaches zero and your hands are replaced with his.

Your phone buzzes against the bed and you’re choked up, slowly bringing your hands away from your neck with a tear that burns down to your chin and marks your shirt. You pick your phone up and a ghost of a smile spreads across your face.

Tomura:

[Thanks again for the skin care things]

Your heart skips a beat and you let out a sob with a hand covering your mouth and dull nails digging into your skin. You like him and fear him. There’s too many emotions that overwhelm you and you don’t know what to do.

You take in a deep breath and for a moment, everything is still and calm. Your tears disappear and you stand in front of the mirror fixing your hair and smoothing over any strands. You crawl back into bed with your back against the head board and you scroll through your phone, finding the app with the cute filters and once clicked on, you have the phone faced towards you, scrunching in embarrassment when you’re shown in an unflattering angle. You look for the right filter and once found, you give a smile and a peace sign.

Blood pumps loud and your heartbeat louder. You attach the picture in a message and send it to Tomura with a winking emoticon as the written message. The message is sent and now there’s nothing you can do.

Your stomach churns and twists into a tight knot. You hold your hand against your mouth and walk to the bathroom. Your hands grip the counter and eyes are red and there are tear tracks that mark your face. Your bottom lip trembles and you wish desperately that he would call you so you could forget all of these feelings for just a second. There’s a pounding in your chest and you can taste acid in your mouth while your eyes are rimmed red and soon your vision blurs and you’re spitting bile mixed with salvia down the drain.

Tagged:

@suneaterofthebig3 @ maxinekotodama

@rogueofbullshit @ juiccy-rollss

@loveableasshole @lilgaga98

@yul-is-sparkling@noonewouldlisten25@noodlenerd101

@localdisaster@snackgod@iikillerkitteh

@drapetomaniaac@shigaraki-is-my-master

@rekoii@ txmaki0 @katelyn-cuteson

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love

@justoneofthosepeople @bloodyantichrist

@maxinekotodama @avada-kedavra-1998

#ciays #can i ask you something #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #this felt like it took forever #and im so sorry #hope yall enjoyed it!!#its a long one!!#so yay #all right next to the other works #laterz #tomura shigaraki imagines #shigaraki imagine

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shaekingshitup · 3 years

Text

MIRACLES HAPPEN

DAY ONE: TANGERINE

A/N: Y’ALL! I WAS DUPED! @teakturn puts out a 25 Days of Christmas every year and my dumbass said I would do it too. But I decided to add a little diversity to the culture and we’re doing a Chrismukkah adventure this year on this blog! This is picking up after this request that I got earlier this year. None of this shit is proofread because I am literally just writing by the seat of my pants so read at your own discretion. I will probably end up rewriting this entire mini series in the future. But enjoy it now. If you wanna be tagged, lmk! Also, I know that in In Sight I said there was a cure for COVID. Swap that out for a vaccine y’all. Viruses can’t be cured.

Word Count: 2300

DAY ONE: TANGERINE

December 18, 2022

“Baby you ready?!” Tre called into the house as reached into the basket on his way to the garage. He came up empty handed for the keys to his Lexus. Opening the door to the garage, he saw Sol sitting in the passenger seat of the running car.

Tre walked over to his baby as Sol smirked at him.

“You late again,” she said.

“I’m never late,” Tre said opening the door and climbing in, “You just early as always,” he shot back as he put the car in reverse. Sol playfully rolled her eyes. After two years of being together, this was always their running joke. The first time they’d met, she’d been pacing back and forth awaiting his arrival. Even after finding their own groove, she still found herself being the one waiting for him- but, he always made it worth it so it was hard for her to complain.

Tre pulled out of the driveway and clicked the remote to shut the door. Out of instinct, his hand went to Sol’s thigh when he put it in drive. “Did you grab my yarmulke?” Tre asked as he threw her a glance.

“Please don’t insult me. This ain’t my first feast Nemo.” the indignant manner which she spoke had her and Tre struggling to keep in their bouts of laughter. “Yes, baby. They’re in the backseat.”

“Good. Good. What’s the other name for them again?” Tre asked as he merged onto the nearly empty highway. A five a.m call time could be a blessing and a curse.

“Kippah” is the Hebrew word for the male cap and “kippot” is the Hebrew word for the female cap.” Sol answered on autopilot as she mused on their situation. She was still taken aback that they’d been contacted by Black Juice to begin with. She’d been following them ever since they’d done that feature with Drake talking about how his own Jewish faith influenced his career path. Although she wasn’t as active in her Jewish faith as she’d wished she’d been in recent years it was still a huge victory to be acknowledged by the leading Black Jewish media network. Okay so maybe they were the only Black Jewish media network. But that definitely meant they were in the lead! She wasn’t stupid to think that this kind of opportunity would have come without Trevante in her life. But, she wasn’t gonna knock it either.

This 8 Days of Miracles was the perfect task she needed as she figured out what the next step was for her career. Now that she’d finally finished her academic portion of her career she wasn’t sure how to proceed. So throwing herself into this project and hosting both her family and Tre’s for the holidays was the best distraction she could ask for. This time always gave her hope and made her realize that any kind of bullshit she’d put up with wasn’t in vain. It was her annual reset. New Year’s be damned. It also made her feel closer to her father and there wasn’t anyone in this world she’d loved more. At least that’s what she’d thought. She felt pressure on her thigh from the number one contender for her heart as Tre gave her a slight squeeze.

“What’s on ya mind Sunshine?” Sol looked down at his hand and couldn’t help but cheese. She still beamed every time he called her by that nickname.

“I was thinking about my dad and how proud he’d be to see me reppin his faith,” Sol said absentmindedly touching her necklace. Tre listened attentively as he grazed his thumb against her thigh in a gentle motion. “ I mean, I don’t know if he could have known that all of the years he instilled in us the value of miracles when we were children we’d still be celebrating Hanukkah after he was gone.”

“I’m sure he didn’t know.” Tre started out slowly. He honestly wasn’t even sure if she’d finished her thoughts, “But, he probably hoped you would.” The phone rang as they turned off the street and into the lot. “STEPH 👷🏿‍♀️💪🏿” flashed across the Caller ID on his dashboard. Tre clicked the answer button on his steering wheel as Sol handed him his badge to show to Nico, the Security Attendant.

“We’re at Security Steph,” Tre answered as he nodded at Nico.

“Okay good. I just wanted to make sure we were starting the day off on time.” Tre and Sol shared a glance.

“Woman don’t start with me. Call time is 5 and it’s 4:39. We don’t play that late shit over here and you know it.

“Well, I also grabbed your favorite donuts from Craft Services so no one else would steal them and I wanted to know how long I had to hoard them for your ungrateful self. I can put them back if you’d like sir,”

“Steph. You can ignore Tre.” Sol chimed in. “We appreciate you and will be walking in the door in exactly 2 minutes. Tre is parking as we speak. We’ll see you soon.”

“Tre, you lucky you have her. Keep her if you want to keep the best managent in town. Bye y’all!!” Steph sang as she hung up. Sol let out a cackle because Steph refused to be referred as anything other than a managent as Tre stood there dumbfounded at how he was being left out to dry. But he knew better than to go against two black women before he’d even finished his morning coffee. He just hopped out the whip and opened Sol’s door so she could do the same.

Once they’d gotten their morsels of food, gone through hair and makeup and snapped a few photos for Black Juice and their own social media accounts, they were back on the road headed deeper into LA. They had a cameraman in the backseat filming their every move, one car guided them to their location and another followed them as they maneuvered through the cars that were poppin up for their morning commutes. Sol was on her IG live and answering any questions that popped up about where they were headed and her Hanukkah festivities. She watched as the number quickly jumped from 5,000 viewers to 13,000 and counting. She wasn’t sure what this many people were doing up at this hour but she wasn’t complaining. Tre’s mama was of course one of them. He was a mama’s boy through and through and she was always there to support him at any opportunity she could. Sol made sure to greet her specifically. Tre bopped his head to some Jill Scott- being careful not to let his yarmulke fall. Sol sipped some hot cocoa from her thermos and sang off key with him. As soon as they turned on a residential street, she felt awash in a new warmth that the hot chocolate couldn’t touch. She shook Tre’s arm enthusiastically.

“It’s time!!” she beamed, “Are you ready?!” Tre chuckled at her immediate change in attitude. The car in front was already parked and the camera crew was out on the sidewalk.

“Yes Sol. I’m ready to spread some holiday cheer. Let’s go make somebody’s day he said. Before Tre could even put the car in park, she was reaching for the handle”

“AHT AHT AHT” Tre barked out loud causing the cameraman man in the backseat to jump,“ Tre was already exiting the driver’s side and pointed his finger at her as he crossed in front of the car “Don’t even try it.” Sol rolled her eyes and pouted as she waited the few seconds for him to open her door.

“Thanks Tre,” she stuck out her tongue. She was like a kid in a candy store and was ready to full out sprint to the front door. The IG live comments were flying.

Okay Daddy Tre! I need a mans to talk to me like that. 🥵🥵

Did this man just bark at her? 🐶

Loook so long as he handles this backdoor he can open any other door that he pleases sis!

Y’all females is wylin as usual.

Sol glanced at them. “Imma need y’all to stay out of grown folks’ business and just enjoy this holiday work we are puttin in okay” She handed her phone to another crew member and grabbed Tre’s hand to drag him to the front door.

She pushed the button for the doorbell but no sound rang out. Tre gave three succinct raps on the door and heard someone rushing down the stairs. The door was flung open by a woman in black slacks and a blinding blue polo emblazoned with a nametag that ironically labeled this young woman as “Tangerine”. She couldn’t be more than 25 years old and the toddler saddled on her hip only added to her youthful appearance.

“Hi Tangerine,” Tre began, “My name’s Trevante and this is Sol,” he gestured to Sol at his side.

“Hi?” Tangerine answered confused at this couple and the cameras that followed them.

“We’re here today with Black Juice, a local Black organization that highlights the experience of the Black Jewish community and we’re doing 8 Days of Miracles,”

“Okay..” Tangerine said not sounding any less confused. “ I’m not Jewish.” Sol took over as she could tell that Tre’s efforts weren’t getting them anywhere.

“We’re here because your friend Kira sent in a letter telling us about how great of a mother you are. She said that you’ve been working two jobs here to support you and your daughter.” At this, Sol smiled at the baby, “She told us that the second job you have is for daycare expenses alone. We wanted to come out here today and let you know that we see what you do and how hard you go to make sure you give your daughter the best. So, we wanted to help you out and give you this. “ Tre gave her the envelope he had in his hand. It read “Day 1: Tangerine”

Tangerine took the envelope as Tre explained. “We’ve paid for your daughter’s child care for the next two years so you can give yourself a break.” She opened the envelope to see the receipt from Tiny Tots Kindercare and didn’t even know what to do.

“I don’t know what to say.” She paused for a moment as what this truly meant registered in her mind. “I can quit this job and actually spend more time with my baby and focus on my candles.”

“Your candles?” Sol asked.

“Yeah. I make candles by hand. I took a few classes and have played with a few scents. Some friends have asked me to make them some and I’ve been waitin to be a little more secure with my money before I start at it.” she answered exhaling deeply.

“Do you have any candles right now?” Tre asked peeking a little further in her apartment. Sol slapped his arm.

“Could you be any nosier?” she chastised with love.

“Yeah I have some. Do you mind holding Layla?” she asked but she practically threw the child into Sol’s arms as she ran to grab her stash of candles. Sol put on her sweetest voice and spoke to Layla about how old she was and if she liked her friends at daycare. When her mom came back Sol could see the sheer joy that she had when showing off her handiwork.

Tangerine went through all six of her candles and their various scents with them and by the end Tre had bought each one. She was floored and couldn’t do anything but cry at the way her morning was turning around. It wasn’t even 7:30 and she’d already gotten 2 years of childcare, a reason to quit her grocery store job and someone who actually wanted to buy her candles.

Before they left, Tre made her promise to hit him up when her site and IG were live so he could get more candles and share it with all of his friends. Sol returned Layla to her mother saying her goodbyes and grabbed Tre’s hand to head back to car. She leaned on his shoulder and he could see the contentment in her eyes. Sol almost forgot her phone before a crewmember handed it back.

She came back to the IG Live trying not to get too emotional. “Look at that y’all! Day one of Hanukkah is off to a start and we’ve already proved that miracles happen! Y’all better stay tuned in over the next week so you can see who we pop in on next. You never know if it could be you! Thanks to Black Juice for giving us this opportunity to turn someone’s ordinary day into something smile about. Y’all betta check them out so you can see the full footage of what we’ve got goin on! Bye y’all!

“Bye y’all!” Tre called out. They answered a few more questions with Black Juice, said their goodbyes and climbed back into their car.

“Can we go back to bed now?” Tre asked as he pulled back onto the main road and his hand founds Sol’s thigh again. Sol laughed.

“I mean if that’s what you prefer we can. I had some other things in mind.” she suggested.

Tre raised his eyebrow. “I swear you see one baby and you always go 0 to 100”

“Look, I just believe in practicing all aspects of having a child! Even the making part.”

Tre threw his head back laughing. “I’m wit it babygirl”

DING!

“That’s me” Sol said. She looked at her phone screen. A text from “Mama Rhodes” popped up. She’d sent some Pinterest looking bible verse again.

This was the third one this week. It dampened her mood immediately and caused her to groan. The text read:

Seeing you with that little girl made me so happy for the good Christian grandbabies that you and Tre will be blessing me with in the future. I thank Jesus for the miracle of you and my baby everyday XO.

“Tre, I got another one from your mom. When are you gonna talk to her?”

Tre sighed. “I promise. I’ll talk to her soon and it will definitely be before your Chrismukkah Extravaganza. Don’t sweat it baby.”

Sol did her best not to think about how pushy his mother was being about this raising Christan grandbabies nonsense ever since they announced they’d be partnering with Black Juice. All she could do is trust Tre and do what she was best at: wait.

---------------

@ghostfacekill-monger @thadelightfulone

#trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes fanfiction #trevante rhodes x oc #shaekingspeaks #25 days of christmas challenge #25 days of christmas #im going to bed now #chrismukkah #hanukkah #I WILL DO SETH COHEN PROUD #okay bye

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halstudandruz · 4 years

Text

Addiction

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Jay finds comfort in his partner during his failing marriage

Warnings: Swearing, cheating/affair

How did you get here? How did you let this happen? How could you keep letting this happen? The self deprecating thoughts ran through your mind as you laid next to Jay Halstead, both panting heavily.

“Wow. That had to be one of our best. I did that thin-“ He started still trying to catch his breath.

“We can’t do this anymore.” You hurried out.

“What?” He asked turning towards you.

“You have a wife, Jay. A wife!” You exclaimed leaning up to search for your bra and panties that were scattered around the room.

“Yeah, barely.” Jay scoffed.

“The existing marriage license begs to differ.” You spit back, slamming his underwear to his chest.

“[Y/N], come on.” He looked at you like you were over reacting.

“How are you okay with this!? How can you think this is a decent thing to be doing?” You yelled tying your robe around you and slipping out of your bed.

“You’re saying what we just did was not decent? I would definitely have to disagree and judging by the sounds-“ He continued to joke which made you angrier.

“Get the hell out Jay.” You shook your head walking into the bathroom and slamming the door. By the time you came back out your apartment was empty. Sighing heavily you collapsed onto your bed, face in your mattress, scent of him still strong on your pillows. Here’s to hoping tomorrow wouldn’t be too awkward.

————-

Walking into the district you had to compose yourself. This had been going on for over 3 months. It first happened after a hard case. You went into a little bit of a spiral as it took you back to your teenage years. Jay, being the good partner he was, was there for you, but a couple too many drinks later and here you were. There was always something about Jay that drew you towards him, but he was married. You weren’t going to let anything happen. Until it did, and then you couldn’t stop it from happening. You had sufficiently gotten a dose of Jay Halstead and without a second thought became addicted. The couple times you had woken up in his arms right before your alarm went off you found yourself wondering how it was going to end. Because there was an inevitable end for the two of you. He would call it off because he felt guilty. Kristina would find out and he would convince her to stay, promise that he wouldn’t do it again. Someone in the unit would find out and blow it up (even though you had a sneaking suspicion Trudy already knew but that’s besides the fact.) Logically, there was no way it would end well for you, and yet you kept going back. Falling into bed, begging for more. It was suddenly a regular occurrence. So the whole walking into the district the morning after, the memories of his lips, his hands all over, was something you were used to, but this time it felt different. Like maybe it really was over. Maybe it really was the end and you didn’t know how to feel about it.

Walking upstairs was nothing different. Everyone was at their desks sipping coffee, Kevin and Adam screwing with each other. Just like every other day, but for you the tension felt thick as you locked eyes with Jay. Taking a deep breath you headed towards your desk sitting your stuff down, where a hot coffee already sat. Glancing at Jay you mumbled a thank you as he gave you a small smile. It wasn’t long before you were in Jay’s truck headed to question a suspect. After 10 minutes of awkward silence Jay decided to break it,

“So..we gonna talk about this?”

“Nope.” You simply replied in a second.

“[Y/N]-“ He tried sighing heavily before you stopped him.

“We have more important things to be worrying about right now Jay.” You crossed your arms across your chest. He looked over at you annoyed, “I just..can’t talk about this right now, okay?” You bit your lip looking away from him. Guilt took over his features as he nodded focusing his attention back on the road.

————

A few days full of avoidance and obvious tension later you and the rest of the team sat around a table at Molly’s. Quietly you stirred your drink around in the bottle thoughts spaced out as you avoided Jay’s eyes. You were in withdrawal and with even the slightest bit of alcohol in you, you knew if you looked into those baby blues you would be absolutely without a doubt fucked.

“So, where’s the mrs. tonight?” Adam asked turning to Jay who was being suspiciously quiet as well.

“Not here.” Jay shrugged not looking over.

“What does she look like? It’s been so long since we’ve seen her I’ve seem to forgotten.” Antonio raised an eyebrow at Jay.

“Yeah bars aren’t really her scene I guess.” Jay answered.

“Come on man what’s going on with you two?” Antonio nudged.

“I don’t know. Just hasn’t been...for a long time.” Jay sighed.

“Seriously dude when was the last time you got laid?” Kevin joked. Jay’s eyes locked with yours before he quickly looked down at the table shrugging as he took a chug of his beer. “You don’t even know? Bro I was just joking, but clearly you need to figure some stuff out.” He looked at him pointedly.

“Look I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break her heart and go through the whole process, but I just don’t want to be with her anymore.” He admitted, and at the words you swallowed hard.

“Marriage is hard you have to work at it.” Kim included.

“No it’s not like that. I don’t want to work at it with her. I don’t love her anymore.” He admitted.

“How do you just fall out of love with someone?” Kim asked.

“I don’t even know if we were in love. At least on my end. I mean I thought I was, but now... I don’t really know anymore. We were young, I had just gotten back and was in a bad way. We thought we knew what we were doing. Thought everyone was wrong. I don’t think I had the right idea of what love was.” He explained looking at you again.

“I need another drink. Anyone else?” You asked voice squeaking before you hurried towards the counter. Letting a deep breath out once you felt you had enough space.

“So, how long has that been going on?” Kim asked beside you make you jump.

“What?” You asked nervously.

“I’m your best friend [Y/N], I’m not a dumbass.” She gave you a look as you groaned head falling into your hands. “Look I’m not here to judge. I’m not here to make you feel bad about yourself. I’m just here to help.” She promised. Looking at her the guilt bubbled even further in the pit of your stomach.

“I’m in love with him. I’m in love with a married man. With my partner.” You stated, disbelief in your voice. “How did I let this happen. I’m a terrible fucking person.” You groaned running a hand down your face.

“You didn’t do it to hurt anybody.” She rubbed your arm.

“Do they know?” You looked over at the table making Kim chuckle.

“I could give Adam a literal ticket to Rome and he would still say it wasn’t a good enough hint. They’re clueless.” She promised.

“I gotta go home. I just don’t have the mental capacity to be in his presence right now.” You admitted weakly. Smiling sympathetically she nodded hugging you quickly,

“I’m here for whatever you need. Always.” She stated before grabbing a few drinks and heading back to the table. You followed behind her grabbing your purse to sneak your way out.

“Whoa what are you doing? It’s like 10 o’clock.” Kevin caught you. Rolling your eyes you made an excuse,

“I got a thing tomorrow so..” You tried, but trailed off when you met Jay’s eyes, and what looked like pain..? inside of them.

“Alright bye.” Kim pushed you towards the door snapping you out of it, giving you a pointed look. Anger, sadness, guilt, need, want, were all so mumbled together in your body you didn’t know which way was up. Once getting home you quickly fell into bed hoping sleep would help you gather your thoughts a little.

You were later awoken by your phone ringing beside your head.

“Hello?” You groaned not bothering to look at the caller ID, eyes still closed.

“Can I come over?” The voice on the other side asked hesitantly.

“Jay..” You whimpered suddenly wide awake, heat immediately coursing through your body at his question, looking at the clock you realized it was 4 in the morning. “This is hard enough-“ You started to lecture, but his soft husky voice cut you off.

“Please, I just..I need to see you. I need to talk to you.” He practically begged, slight whine in his voice.

“The door will be open.” You answered after a few seconds of contemplating before hanging up. 20 minutes later you were joined in bed by Jay.

“Hey.” He whispered sliding in next to you to bring you into his chest.

“No, no, no.” You pushed him away despite every bone in your body telling you not to.

“I talked to her. I told her everything.” He informed you looking away from you.

“Wow..okay. And?” You pushed.

“She wasn’t mad. Weirdly enough she wasn’t mad. She was hurt, which is understandable, but we were on the same page. There was no yelling. No fighting. It just...ended.” He looked confused as he said it out loud.

“Well...how do you feel about that?” You asked.

“Happy.” He answered simply looking at you.

“What?” You looked eyebrows raised.

“My marriage didn’t end because of you [Y/N]. It was over long before you came into the picture. We haven’t even slept in the same bed in over a year. She got..annoyed with my dreams and episodes waking her. This isn’t on you, I need you to know that.” He took your hand in his.

“Jay, that doesn’t make any of this right.” You huffed.

“I know and I know it isn’t ideal, but I love you.” He looked at you seriously.

“You said the same thing to her.” You replied.

“You’re right. I did, but this is different. I’m not some 20 year old trying to push away problems I refused I had. Trying to sink myself into alcohol and some girl that was dealing with all of it too. If you can wholeheartedly look at me and tell me this isn’t what you want, that you’re not in love with me. I will leave right now and try my hardest to pretend this didn’t happen and that I’m not head over heels for you.” He clenched his jaw, lump clear in his throat through his voice.

“You know I can’t do that.” You stated softly all the fight you had in you seemingly disappearing.

“We’re filing this week. As soon as we talk everything out. Sh-She actually told me it was okay if I wanted this,” His eyes met yours hesitantly, “and there really isn’t anything I could want more.” He admitted shoulders tensing a little waiting for reaction.

“Jay, this is a lot, it’s 4 in the morning, I’m exhausted, and this is going to involve a long conversation.” You chewed at your lip nervously.

“I understand.” He nodded swallowing visibly hard.

“Can you just stay so we can talk about this in the morning? I don’t know how this is going to work or how we’re going to make this work, but all I know is I want to wake up next to the man I love in the morning and see what happens next.” You admitted linking your fingers with his. At your words a soft smile appeared on his face as he reached out to pull you into his body.

“I’ve never been addicted to something like I am to you.” He laughed in disbelief flipping you underneath him, leaning down and kissing you with a love you didn’t know existed. One feel of his lips on yours and your addiction was fueled once again.

#jayhalsteadxreader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd

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gayenerd · 3 years

Text

Transcribed radio interview. From sometime in the Nimrod era I assume because they ask about Nice Guys Finish Last.

Okay, I know I said I'd give this to you all a long time ago, but it's taken me a while to type it up. The interview was done by the Seattle alternative radio station (107.7 The End) a while back. I think it was the Friday before Christmas. Anyway, here are some things you'll need to know to make this interview make sense.

Andy Savage = DJ for The End

Steve = producer for The End

They both were the people who interviewed GD over the phone.

End Fest = A concert they played here last summer

Okay, here we go..

.Billie: Uhhh...hello?

Tre: Hello Andy and Steve!

Mike: I thought we were Billie, Mike and Tre..

.Steve: You are.

Tre: That's the other team, dude!

Mike: Oh! Okay, I got a little confused there.

Steve: Hey, you guys remember End Fest, don't you?

Tre: Of course!

Mike (saying symotaineously with Tre): No, not at all!

Billie (laughing): Yeah, it was a great show!

Steve: After End Fest, the Guinness people called and said you guys said fuck more than anyone else in the history of the world, so congratulations

!Mike: Are you...are you serious!?

Steve: Yeah.

Tre: Well, tell them to give us some fuck'n beer!

Billie: No, Tre, the Guinness Book of World Record and Guinness beer are different.

Tre: That beer is fuc'n thick! It'll make you fuck'n fat, too!

Andy: You know what was cool? When you brought that kid up on sage to play a song on guitar with you guys. That was pretty awesome of you.

Billie: Did he say anything about it afterwards?

Andy: Oh yes, and I suppose he's still talkin' about it.

Mike: I told him not to!

Tre: Has he gotten a lotta girls offa that?

Andy: Yeah, I suppose he gets laid a lot. What did you tell him while he was up there with you?

Mike: I told him is he said a fuck'n word he would be dead.

Billie (in a big strong manly voice): Don't you open your fuck'n mouth, kid!!!

Mike: We're trying to say fuck as many times a possible now.

Steve: Yeah, we noticed. Mike: Well, you opened the can of worms, and now we're eating them!

Andy: Billie.

Billie: Yeah?

Andy: I heard that before End Fest, you were at Linda's Tavern and you had to take a cab to the show. How much did that cost?

Billie, Mike + Tre laugh

Billie: It was really expensive. I think I had like 40 bucks on me, and my friend Will, whose in the band Sunny Day Real Estate had, uhhh...I think he had...

Tre (interrupting): He had like $243.84 on him!

Billie: ...like, $40 or $50, and it was over $100 to get there. When we were at Linda's drinking; we kinda looked at each other and said, "Oh, we're really shit faced right now." And he said, "Wait, don't you have a show to play tonight?" and I was like, "Yeah!" So really, I almost missed the whole damn show. But before hand, I was also at this Mexican food place is Seattle, and it was probably the best Mexican food I've ever had in my life!

Andy: Really?! Well, what was it called?

Billie: I can't remember the name...

Tre (interrupting): It was called "The Best Mexican Food He's Ever Had in His Life!"

A: Well, was it like Azteca or something?

Tre: It was called Taco Bell.

Mike: Yo quiro Taco Bell!

Billie, Mike + Tre laugh

Andy: Nice Guys Finish Last.

Billie: Nice Guys Finish Last, what about it?

Andy: Is that what you believe? What is it all about?

Billie: Well, a good friend of mine used to have all these really great sayings. He'd say, "Nice guys finish last" all the time, and what else did he say? Something like, "It's a long road to the bottom, but I've got a lotta miles on me" or something like that.

Mike: He had a lot of great sayings.

Billie: Yeah, he did.

Mike: Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Andy: Well, do you think that nice guys do finish last?

Billie: It depends on the context, you know?

Andy: In love.

Billie: In love? Yes, definitely. It really helps to be a jerk.

Tre: I mean, look at James Brown! He used a crow bar! He was the godfather of sole!

Billie, Mike, Tre, Andy + Steve laugh

Tre: Nice guys finish last... (starts to go na na na na to the tune of the song)

Andy: So, what are you guys getting each other for Christmas?

Mike: We're not supposed to say!

Tre: All I know is what Mike got me last year, was a dildo, about...how big was that thing? He got me a fuck'n dildo!

M: It was like knee height. It was pretty brutal.

Tre: It was bigger than any mumblemumblemumble

Mike: Actually, it was more like a mantle piece than a mountal piece.

Andy: Uhhh...okay...well, what are you doing with---

Tre (interrupting): You know what Mike? You also got me that butt plug last year!

Mike: Heh, yeah, and it's sittin' on your mantle right now!

Andy: Well, who do you like? That is an up-and-coming band that you think is kicking ass right now in your opinion?

Billie: Uhhh, well, I don't know what label they're on, but there's this band called Dillinger 4, that I looove! They're from Minneapolis and they have a record out. I don't know when it was put out---sometime this year---but it's a really great punk rock record.

Andy: Well, you've heard about the B.S. going on with—

-Billie: What!?

Andy: Uhhh, you know, that crap going on between Pearl Jam and Third Eye Blind.

Billie: Pearl Jam?!?

Andy: Yep. And Third Eye Blind.

Billie: What's goin' on with them?

Tre (in the background): Is this the only way these bands can get recognized?

Mike: Yeah, I know!

Billie, Mike, Tre, Andy and Steve all laugh

Tre: Why doesn't Eddie Vedder pick on someone his own size?

Andy: Well, I mean, Jenkins is all pissed at Vedder because I guess Vedder slammed him, and---

Tre (interrupting): Who's Jenkins? Who slammed him?

Billie (yelling) Wait a minute! I wanna hear what's going on! Wh-what happened!?!

Tre (laughing): Yeah, tell us the dirt, man!

Andy: Steven Jenkins started slamming Eddie because he said they shouldn't be playing "Bubba O'Reily" because their version sucked, and Jenkins told Vedder to shut up. Have you heard both of those versions?

Billie: Oh, wow! I don't think anyone should be covering "Bubba O'Reily." It was done right the first time! Why do it again? Ugh, puh-leeese!

Andy: Well, do you guys do any covers all the way through?

Billie: Yeah, we do a version of "My---

Tre (interrupting): We do "Bubba O'Reily!"

Billie: ...Generation," that's much better than Pearl Jam's.

Steve: That's a good version!

Tre: Oh my God! My nipples are hard!

Andy: Well, squeeze them!

Billie: MMMMMMM!!!

Tre: What do you thing we're doing, dumbass?!?

Steve: So, do any of you guys have any piercings?

Billie: I have a little boy---

Tre (interrupting): I got cosmetic surgery and now I have a nipple on my butt!

Andy: And what do you do with it?

Tre: Believe it or not, I suck it!

Billie (imitating Tre's voice): I suck my own butt!

Billie: Heh, and Mike has an eyeball in the middle of his ass that winks at me! (in funny voice) Here's to you, kid! Well, actually, I have a small child at home that's covered in piercings.

Andy: Have you guy set anything on fire lately?

Billie (in big strong manly voice): Jest the barbecue! Out there tailgatin'! And cookin' the weenies!

Andy: Well, last time you were up here, you were at the pier, and I heard you guys started to set the table on fire, and---

Tre (interrupting): I burned a car the other day, but I'm not supposed to talk about that.

Billie, Mike Tre, Andy + Stave laugh

Tre (in funny voice): Well, I just want to say that Pearl Jam and Third Eye Blind, your version of "Bubba O'Reily" just stinks. It just stinks! It-it-it it really offends me, and it stinks! It STINKS!!! Can I say id sucks on the radio? Ca-ca-can I say that??? IT STINKS!!!

Billie (in southern accent): Wul, I thought it wuz perty cool.

Mike: Oh! Goodnight and goodbye! We have to go now.

Tre: We have to go-nad.

Andy: Well, merry Christmas!

Tre: Merry New Year, and happy Chanukah.

Billie: Have a very hairy Christmas!

Tre: Happy Kwanza.

Billie: Have a good day.

Andy: Hey, you too, ma---

*click*

#i mostly posted this because i thought it was funny when billie was like 'SHUT UP I WANNA HEAR THE PEARL JAM + THIRD EYE BLIND DRAMA'#he's such a gossipy bitch #no comment on tre's james brown joke #yeesh #article #interview #articles #green day

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ofwolvesandbutterflies · 4 years

Text

the constant

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader

Genre: suggestive fluff

Tags: gang!au, partnersincrime!au

Warnings: brief mentions of violence, mature content... the whole works

day 15 of 30 days with NCT

Synopsis: in which you and yuta have a love/hate relationship in the way that yes, there are times you’d stop at nothing to rip his throat out... but you’d still kill anyone who’d try to kill him.

// tryin’ to be with you is crazy // (x)

[23:44]

Out of all the things that were supposed to happen today, you would have never expected to be at yet another lavish party, posing as Yuta’s arm candy in an effort to catch any piece of information that could help total the yakuza your group had been having trouble with for years. On top of that, nor did you expect to have his hands teasing the edges of your thin party dress up little by little, sloppy, open mouthed kisses coaxing moan after moan from your glossed lips.

Today was supposed to be your day off. No guns, no violence, no blood, no sex, and no Yuta. Forget the perfectly tailored leather pants that hugged you in all the right ways and concealed so many dangerous gadgets, the hidden knives up your sleeves, and the eternally loaded gun always ready in your holster. Today was all about comfy sweatpants, oversized long sleeves, and all the unhealthy food you fasted from during the work week at the 127 syndicate.

The aroma of slow baked chocolate and the tiniest hint of vanilla wafted through the air, bringing a genuinely happy smile to your watering mouth. Nothing could ruin this afternoon. And then, your phone lit up, vibrated against the wood grain of the table you sat against with a ring you wished meant something - someone - else. You stuffed a piece of brownie in your mouth before pulling the device up to your ear.

"Where you at, baby girl?" Yuta's relaxed voice floated through the phone speakers like honey; smooth, sickeningly sweet, and so very easy to get addicted to. Yuta was cocky, he was confident. You supposed it was part of his charm as the infamous womanizer of the gang. Nevertheless, having to hear that almost every hour of every minute of the week was definitely part of the reason hearing his ring tone never hesitated to spark irritation in the very depths of your being. He continued. “Just thought I’d let you know I missed seeing your ass this morning at the 07:00 meeting.” Your lips curled back into a sneer, swallowing the rest of the brownie chunk you had just stuffed into your mouth.

"How nice of you to call in on my day off, sweet cheeks." Shoving the freshly baked plate of brownies back onto the counter, you hissed at your partner, not even bothering to cover the annoyance in your tone. "Thought you had another - what was it you rather me call them again? Oh right - another rendezvous this afternoon.

"Oh, that’s right. I did have something planned. If I remember correctly, it was with this hot piece of multi-million dollar eye candy, Bae Joohyun. And I was looking forward to it, too. Would’ve been an easy couple thousand.” An over exaggerated sigh pushed its way out of your partner’s infuriatingly soft lips. Had the handsome blond been right beside you, a sure smirk would have appeared on his face, challenging you, taunting you. “Too bad it got cancelled. Jealous, babe?"

"Never in a million years, dickhead,” the scoff elicited a sigh from his end of the call. “Now what do you want?"

His answer was quick, sharp and you could practically see the shit-eating grin seeping into his voice.

"Jaehyun said to be back within the hour. He and ‘Yong have a thing for us to do sometime soon. And by 'sometime soon' I mean by the end of today." Good thing you had put the brownies away a few minutes ago, the news surely would have shocked you into choking on a piece of chocolate-y heaven. Your eyes widened and your back stiffened. This must have been important. Jaehyun and Taeyong never called you or any other member in on a day off unless it was imperative to the success of the crime syndicate. “Y/N? You still on?”

"Wha- wait, Yuta, what’s going on?” Adjusting the phone so that it was in speaker mode, you quickly pulled your hair up into a sleek ponytail and ran about your studio apartment in a rush to get your work-outfit on. Pressed button down? Check. Sexy pants? Check. Dark shoes, sunglasses, and mask? Check. “Why today? Wh- I mean, what details are we working with here? What type of stuff do I need?"

“They didn’t give me much to work off of, babe, just told me to tell you to get your ass up and over to the company in 15 minutes.” The pet name flew over your head to go completely unnoticed as you stripped down to change. Gone was the playful banter the two of you shared on the daily. Yuta’s work voice was on which meant he was serious. You bit back a groan, hopping around on one foot as you tried to stuff your other foot into the pant leg.

“You said within the hour. Fifteen minutes?! Really?"

"The sooner the better, Princess. You know Jae doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Grumbled complaints fell upon deaf ears and you stuffed your company wallet and ID into your purse. “Fine. I’ll see you in fifteen.”

“Make that ten.”

“Oh my fucking- Yuta!”

Getting to the party had been no problem. Slipping in unnoticed hadn’t been a problem, either. Hell, even convincing everyone you were another escort and that Yuta was part of a new development in one of their small eastern groups was easy money. However, getting the information… had been posing a problem.

The rough prints Taeyong had provided the two of you with said the meeting room was more centrally located in the house. While the information you were going off of was limited, the moment the two of you wandered past the crowds of low ranking footmen and into barren hallways where only a few, higher class gang members stood guarding a door, you knew you had found what you were looking for.

A surge of confidence welled up within you and you started toward the group of men over in front of the door. You could take these pansies. However, a hand, warm and calloused from years of fighting, tugged you back into a familiar chest before you could do anything. Within seconds, his lips were on your neck, kissing and sucking dark bruises into your skin with leisure. Albeit a little taken aback, you followed your partner’s lead and tilted your neck to grant him more access.

“Ahh… Yuta…” Leaning back into his body, you crained your neck so you could shoot a hooded glare up at your partner. “As much as I love how needy you are at the most inconvenient of times-”

“Easy, princess,” Yuta murmured, smile evident in the way his voice lowered, deep and sensual against the shell of your ear. You suppressed a delicious shiver at the sensation of his hands sliding up and down your arms. “Sorry about the sudden contact, there are just a couple of guys to my five o’ clock that were looking. But those goons over there? There’s three of them, two of us. We can’t rush them like this.”

“Gr… Fine.” All of a sudden, he paused to spin you around and slam you up against the wall of the hallway, only loud enough to garner the little bit more of needed attention to the two of you. With his hands on either side of your head and his teeth teasing the flesh of your neck, you couldn’t decide whether to glare at him or kiss the dumb grin off his lips when he wedged his knee between your legs.

“How about a little... distraction?” Your eyelids fluttered when kissed you again, immediately understanding what he meant. You knew well this was all a part of the job, rolling your core up into the evident arousal forming in your partner’s pants, biting back a moan when he bent down slowly, eyes flickering over your shoulder to check on your audience... But damn, the way his clothed hips met yours had you moaning your partner’s name louder than you originally meant to.

“Oh my go- Yuta, oh fuck…” One last kiss and he pulled away, sparing you a knowing smirk before turning towards the sound of footsteps near your position. All three men surrounded the two of you, eyes trained solely on your partner.

“HEY.” A giggle threatened to slip from your mouth when you heard how high one of the guy’s voices was.

“‘Sup, man?” Yuta cocked his head, running a finger over your lips playfully before grinning up at the frowning male glaring at him, the shorter one. “Need something? Another drink? You need a light? Oh shit, have you tried any of the girls over here-”

“Cap it, dickwad,” another guy growled. You noticed Yuta’s smile drop ever so slightly and your blood began to boil. No one called Yuta ‘dickwad’ except for you. “You got 10 seconds to find another hallway to fuck this bitch in before I-”

“She’s not a ‘bitch’,” your partner grumbled before the other idiot could finish his sentence. The other man stopped and glanced at his friends in disbelief, as if he couldn’t believe a ‘low-ranking foot soldier’ dared talk back to him. You fought the urge to go for your knife when he grabbed Yuta’s collar, sneering.

“Care to repeat that, dumbass?”

“Sure, old man,” Yuta growled, eyes narrowing as he squared his shoulders in front of you. “Don’t. Call. Her. A. Bitch.”

“Why you little fuck-” he didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, though. Because Yuta had already kicked him in the gut and threw a well-squared punch straight into his jaw, knocking him out cold. The other two rushed at him, dark eyes glowing with something dangerous - but they, too, were on the floor, unconscious within seconds.

“Come on,” he called, stepping carelessly over the unconscious bodies and towards the door. “Door’s open.” For a moment, all you could do was stare with your mouth agape at your partner. You had worked with him for the past 4 years and while so much of your time together was spent arguing, bickering over trivial things… There were moments like these that reminded you he still cared in his own way. Releasing a breath, Yuta’s shoulders visibly relaxed and he pulled the recording device out of his suit jacket.

“Wait- Yuta!” you spoke, hurrying over to your partner’s side. He turned and paused mid-stride, eyes refusing to meet yours just like the way they did every other time he did something for you. “What the fuck- I mean, what was that- I mean, wait. No. T-thank you. You… You didn’t need to beat them up.”

“Pfft, who said I was doing it for you,” he shrugged, voice back to being cocky, slinging an arm around your waist to pull you closer to the door, still avoiding your gaze. “Those guys- they were just assholes in general, they don’t know how much shit you put up with. They deserved that.”

“But still…” You trailed off, knowing he wasn’t just going to take a compliment like this. So instead, you turned towards him, cupped his chin and pressed a sweet kiss to the frown disfiguring his beautiful features. And he stopped, grabbing your waist to pull you to him once more, soft lips caressed yours. It was all part of the job, that much you knew. Playing coy, acting dumb, kicking ass, skipping days off, and kissing random strangers.

But the one constant you could always count on was Yuta. Your annoying partner who would always, always have your back.

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chaseandjackson · 5 years

Text

Do me a favour

chapter three

What every mother wants for her son, a nice girl

Annabeth had officially agreed to be my fake girlfriend and we had a contract that suited us both, I personally looked forward to not being asked a million questions about why I’m single and rather Annabeth being asked a million questions as to why she’s dating me, cant wait to hear her fake reason.

I left the coffee shop and headed home, I knew I was late for dinner, but it was take out night, so when I got home my loving family had thankfully saved me some pizza. We did our usual rounds of chatting. I asked my mum how the new book was coming along and she asked me how school was going, Estelle told us about a new boy in her kindergarten class that was left out so she asked him to play with her dinosaurs, I’m telling you she a great kid, nothing like me, at her age id already been in my first fight at school. Some things never change.

Whilst helping my mum clean up after dinner, she mentioned her book release party

“its next Saturday and the whole family’s going Percy which includes you and you need to look nice maybe a jacket and tie, and you will tuck your shirt in” she laughed

“ I promise mum ill look nice” I told her “anyway about the party I was hoping…”

“you’re not getting out it Percy”

“yeah I know mum I wanted to ask if I could bring someone” mum didn’t even bat an eyelid at my request

“yeah of course Grover can come you know he’s always welcome” she told me. You see Grover is my oldest and closest friend we’ve known each other since we were dorky losers at the age of 11. Both of us were new to the school and had no friends, we quickly had each other’s back and have ever since.

“no mum not Grover” I laughed “ I want to bring my girlfriend” that got mums attention

“girlfriend” she questioned

“yeah mum you don’t need to sound so shocked” she laughed

“I’m not shocked just surprised and pleased for you Percy that’s great it’s about time”

“muuuuummmm” I complained she only laughed at me

“what’s going on in here” Paul asked as he kissed my mum on the cheek. Yes, its gross but its much better than what the last guy she was married to did.

“Percy’s got a girlfriend” my mum proudly told him

“oh really” Paul asked “ who?”

“umm Annabeth chase” I told him

“wow really” he sounded really shocked like it wasn’t real, which obviously it wasn’t but he did know that

“whose Annabeth chase” mum asked

“she’s one of my students, a good one too, high grades she’s very popular at school as well, how did you become her boyfriend exactly” Paul laughed as my mum whacked him, though she was also laughing

I was offended that they thought she was out of my league; she is hence the fact that were not really dating but still.

“she happens to find me funny and charming” I told them

“I don’t believe that for second” Paul laughed “but good on you anyway”

“yes Percy of course Annabeth can come” mum said finally moving on from the fact that she was to good for me “any chance we could meet her first”

“umm yeah maybe” I answered

“why don’t you invite her for dinner this week” Paul suggested

I told them I would and disappeared upstairs with the excuse that I had homework which needed doing (which was true) so I could avoid talking about the fact that I have a new girlfriend (which was not true)

I didn’t talk to Annabeth over the weekend and I wasn’t planning on talking to her until lunch, however those plans were thrown into the wind when I shut my locker and was greeted by Selina

“good morning” she said sweetly though it felt like she was about to end me

“uhh morning” ok good I sounded confident (not true)

“so what’s this I hear about you an Annabeth” right Annabeth must have told her

“what” I was coming off really dumb in this conversation

“she told me perce” I was really confused now, did Annabeth tell her we were dating or that we were fake dating

“look dumbass” rude but fair “ if you’re gonna be my best friends boyfriend you have to pass my test, Annabeth has a self destructive streak and I need to make sure you’re not the detonator”

I had no idea what she meant when she said self destructive streak, but what I did get from that conversation was that Annabeth had told her best friend that I was her boyfriend, step one of my plan complete.

“uhh ok shoot” I was not ready to be questioned but I had a feeling Selina wasn’t leaving without a interview.

“ok I use to have an intensive questionnaire but I worked out that there’s only one question that really matters and that’s why do you want to date Annabeth”

the question hit me like a train, I wasn’t expecting something so deep, the answer clearly meant a lot to Selina, and I guessed what other people had said before was, she’s hot or she popular or maybe even that she’s smart. And I may be oblivious or not the smartest guy but I’m not an idiot. I knew that they weren’t good enough reasons to want to be with someone.

To be honest with you I’m not really the type of guy to date because its fun or because I can. Even at this age I believe in dating someone to fall in love or spend your lives together however sappy that sounds, and i haven’t met anyone that I want to fall in love with yet, maybe because I’m only 18 or maybe because I’m a dumbass.

And I know that Selina has similar beliefs, I don’t know her well but I’ve know her for a long time and I knew the answer to this question was important because it’s the kind of question I ask myself when I started dating anyone, so I gave her the only answer I could

“because Annabeth isn’t like anyone else I’ve met, she doesn’t look at me like I’m a loser, or a dumbass even though I am. I wanna be with Annabeth because I’ve known her for along time and she never stops amazing me, or growing as a person, she’s hands down the nicest, smartest most thoughtful person I know, (all true) why wouldn’t I want to date her”

Selina looked satisfied by that “nice answer perce” she smiled a real genuine simile “but I’ve got my eye on you” and with that she flipped her fair and walked away

“yeah seaweed brain that was a good answer” if I was more observant I would have picked up on the fact that Selina kept glancing past me or that when she flipped her hair she threw a wink to whoever was behind me, if I paid more attention I would have noticed it was Annabeth stood there

“what can I say I’m an excellent boyfriend” I joked, Annabeth and I both knew I meant what I said but neither of us needed to say it

“apparently so” she laughed

“anyway, I was gonna ask you later but since you’re here, are you free after school at all this week”

“umm yeah I’m free Wednesday, why”

“did you wanna come over for dinner, you know meet the family and stuff”

Annabeth laughed “yeah I can do that”

“ok great ill drive you home on Wednesday then” after that we both headed to our classes.

The next few days ran smoothly Annabeth and I talked in the morning and in between classes, we got our food together at lunch but we didn’t sit together which was ok, finally Wednesday rolled around, and the final bell rang.

In the time it took me to get to my locker Annabeth had somehow been to her locker, gotten rid of all her books, put a jumper on, said goodbye to her friends and made it to my locker, man that girl was quick.

“man, you’re slow” Annabeth laughed as I finally reached her

“yeah whatever” I laughed as I shoved my books into my locker “so ready for dinner”

“yes I will be on my best behaviour” Annabeth told me in a joking tone

“you know you’re having dinner with me right, you can be on your worst behaviour but still better than me” that made Annabeth laugh and she pushed me (in a friendly way) as we left the building.

Luckily we beat my parents home as we went straight to my house. My plan was to dump our bags in my room then go hang out in the living room, Annabeth however had other plans when she got in my room.

You don’t realise how much of yourself you revel in your room until you have someone stood in there judging it and essentially you. Annabeth turned to my open wardrobe mainly filed with hoodies and flannels, she eyed the photos of my family and friends on my desk, including photos of me holding my baby sister, and spending time fishing with my half-brother, Tyson. She looked at the posters on my wall, the marvel comics going back through the years, the office poster of Michael Scott’s movie threat level midnight, she did a double take at the worn out guitar in the corner, and the laptop which was still playing the good place on Netflix. It felt like she was judging my soul then she simply said

“cool room” I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until I breathed out. “I didn’t know you played guitar”

“umm yeah it was Pauls, when he started dating my mum he wanted to find something we could do together so he taught me, on my first birthday after they got married he gave me his guitar, he told me he always wanted to teach his kids, it was a big moment for us” I told her closing my wardrobe

She smiled at me “wow you really are a big softie aren’t you” I laughed. Annabeth spent the next half hour questioning basically everything in my room, we even got onto the topic of Tyson, Annabeth only stopped when she heard Estelle’s voice screaming for snacks

“ahh the family’s home” I joked as we walked downstairs.

“hello mother, Paul. This is Annabeth” I pointed at her; my mother hugged her instantly

“hi Annabeth, its so nice to meet you” Annabeth took a moment to recover

“umm its nice to meet you too Mrs Jackson”

“oh sweetie just call me sally”

“oh umm ok nice to meet you sally” id seen Annabeth be confident in every situation ever, but for the first time she seemed nervous, she would soon realise that my mum is the easiest person on earth to talk to

“and um hi Mr blofis”

“hi Annabeth, you can call me Paul here if you want”

“hi Paul” Annabeth smiled, mum and Paul went to put the shopping away in the kitchen

“your parents seem nice” Annabeth let out a nervous laugh

“yeah sorry about them being weird and everything, they’re just over excited I’ve never bought a girl over before” Annabeth looked surprised

“really why”

“I’ve never really had you know a proper girlfriend, I’ve been on dates and stuff but you know” I rubbed the back of my neck ( a nervous habit)

“that surprises me”

“umm yeah we’ll talk about it later” I laughed nudging her into the living room

“hi Estelle, this is Annabeth, you know the one I was talking about” Estelle was playing with her dinosaurs on the floor, she turned to look at Annabeth

“this is henry my dinosaur” she told her

“hi henry nice to meet you” Annabeth said sitting down to play with Estelle

“are all of these dinosaurs yours” Annabeth asked, Estelle nodded

“but you can have Tina so you can play as well” Estelle said holding up a stegosaurus which Annabeth happily took and played along with her

“you’re good with kids” I told her

“yeah I have little brothers, they’re twins so they needed twice the entertainment” she laughed

“I didn’t know you had brothers”

“I dint know you had a brother” she countered with

“fair point” I laughed.

Annabeth and I played with Estelle for about an hour before dinner was ready. I could tell you everything that happened over dinner but all you really need to know is that I absolutely made the right decision when I asked Annabeth to be my fake girlfriend. She was incredible, smart, funny my parents just loved her so much. It was a lovely evening.

I drove Annabeth home after dinner. I parked outside her house.

“thank you, Annabeth, for tonight. I mean really it went so well” I told her

“you know what your family are so nice and friendly I really did have a good time.” She said, I thanked her again as I walked her to the door, we hugged good night and I drove home

I walked into the living room where the rest of my family was and asked

“so, what do you think of Annabeth”

(this was my favourite chapter to write so far, thats why its slightly longer also sorry for the long wait, i started writing this chapter ages ago then it deleted its self then i moved to uni so havent really started writing again, sat down this evening and wrote the whole thing in one go. hopefully more chapters to come soon and please let me know what you think of the book so far. lots of love and all that crap)

#percabeth #percy jackson #percabeth fanfiction #percabeth fic #Do me a favour #annabeth chase #PJO #fakedate

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vaxreed · 5 years

Note

27 Hankvin

Thank you so much for being patient!!! I hope this is what you were thinking of!

Hankvin + Meeting at a Support Group AU

Tw: mentions of past alcoholism and topics surrounding it and the recovery. There’s a lot of inaccuracies but I did quite of bit of research to make it appropriate for fanfic and for the sake of their romance. Shout out to Church and Monica from the HankVin discord with helping me find sources and information.

Feel free to send me more prompts if you’re okay with it taking 30 years

|| Ao3 LINK ||

+++

“Hi, my name’s Gavin, and I’ve been clean for 5 years.”

Murmured greetings washed over the small circle. Hank was here for the first time after hitting rock bottom. Connor had pleaded him to get clean after he found him on the floor, pale and a bullet hole a few inches away from his head in the wall.

Connor was patient with this process and took up all his work while he was in rehab. Getting sober was probably the most difficult thing he’s gone through, aside from Cole’s death, which he is still recovering him. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever feel free from the deep emptiness he has in his chest. That boy was everything to him, and he was ripped away from him. There was no escape except at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Now, he was in this twelve-step program. He didn’t think they worked, but he had promised Connor he would try. It made him feel like he was weak for needing help like this. It was sad to see so many young people here who were taken by the bottle so young.

The man who was currently speaking seemed about 20 years his junior. He heard him say he was clean for 3 years; it seems like this program kept a tight community that had members from all lengths of sobriety. It also told him that he would be struggle with the itch to drink his sorrows for his entire life.

“I’m gonna cut the bullshit. It’s never easy, but it gets easier. I can go through the liquor aisle and not stop.” After the man finished speaking the group leader asked if anyone else would like to share.

“We seem to have a new member. You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to, but if we can put a name to the face.” the group leader smiled at him and Hank felt the eyes on him.

He felt intense steely gaze of the man who just spoke on him; he felt his fingers fidget.

“Yeah, um, my name’s Hank. I’ve been clean for 3 weeks now.” and people murmured greetings and congratulations. His eyes found it hard to leave the battered stranger. Gavin was it?

“I recommend the new people of our group find a sponsor. There’s an old saying ‘Stick with the winners’ we have plenty of people here who have been at this a long time in their journey you should consider.” they left with goals they wanted to complete and took a coffee break.

The stranger kept eyeing him. Hank had about enough. He strode up to him, paper coffee cup in hand.

“Somethin’ wrong with your eyes?” trying hard to suppress the hostility in his voice.

[mobile readers, beware the read more line]

The man didn’t look phased at his aggression, like he’s numb to it at this point. His eyes instead lit up with curiosity.

“I’ve seen you before.”

Hank stiffened at this. This was supposed to anonymous which was supposed to bring him comfort at not being recognized.

“Calm down, I don’t actually know you, as in we’ve never met. I’m Detective Reed.” giving him a half wave.

A detective? Detective Reed. Hmm he’s heard that name before. Never actually met the man but he’s come up before at the station.

“We’ve spoken on the phone. About the red ice case, you were handling it on the Chicago side.” Finally remembering his voice and the hinted Chicago lilt he had in the words he spoke. His voice held a faint growl that Hank found himself drawn to. He heard it while he spoke during the meeting.

“Yeah, that’s me. You’re kinda famous even on our side.” he reminds him of how grand he used to be. Hank feels a pit of shame of how far he’s fallen.

“Been keepin’ up on your current cases too. Pretty impressive. Enough ass kissin’. Not my style.” If Hank didn’t know any better, he thinks this guy has a bit of hero worship. He realizes in this room they are nothing but people who want nothing more but help and to be clean.

“Yeah? What brings you here?” He almost regrets asking the way Gavin’s eyes avert his.

“Well, guess you could say it’s the same reason I’m goin’ to these meetings.”

Hank nodded in understanding knowing full what he meant. Fowler had tried everything to get through to him. Jumped through hoops to make sure he had a job. He owed everything to Connor and Fowler. Reed, it seems, was given a transfer to Detroit.

He gave the man another once over. Strong jaw, face covered in faint and not-so-faint scars. Lips tantalizing him for a bite and eyes that oozed defiance.

Gavin smirked as he noticed Hank’s gaze and asked. “Wanna grab a coffee after this?”

Hank felt hot under Gavin’s knowing eyes. His self hadn’t been this good in while. This guy was young and attractive and was giving him some signals. Or perhaps he was reading it wrong and this is how he typically acted. Perhaps he just enjoyed the presence of another cop in this place and wanted to be his sponsor.

“What’s wrong with the coffee here?”

Gavin snorted, “It tastes like it was dipped in ass.”

Hank’s lips curled in amusement and nods as he motions Gavin to lead the way. They left in the middle of meeting; he doesn’t know how much Connor would appreciate knowing he left with the troublemaker of the group. He wondered if coffee really meant coffee. He forced the thoughts out. He was here for help not a booty call. He wouldn’t risk his recovery for anything.

It turns out it was just coffee. Gavin took him to this little hole in the wall place 3 blocks away from the AA building. They sat in a booth in the back, watching as Gavin grumbled a greeting to the waitress.

They sat across one another in silence, seemingly forgetting how to have and hold a conversation. Hank felt the need to fill the silence with something, but Gavin simply sipped his coffee and looked out the window.

“First meeting can be sorta rough, figured you could use a break outside of it.” finally breaking the silence continuing to look out the window.

Hank was taken back by the casual thoughtfulness of the idea. It had been hard being surrounded with that many people and so many of them had been sober longer than he could ever hope. It was overwhelming.

Hank didn’t say anything for a moment.

“You lookin’ to be my sponsor or somethin’?”

Gavin scoffed.

“I’m grateful as hell for my sponsor, she did everything she could to keep me from relapsing.” Gavin took a sip of his coffee and looked at Hank.

“I relapsed once. She found me in my apartment covered in my own puke. Cleaned me up, made me coffee and screamed her lungs out at me.” he laughs at the memory.

“Everyone’s been treating me like glass like any little thing would make me relapse.” Hank understood this very well. He knows Connor means well, and he appreciates his effort, but sometimes he could be overprotective and overbearing.

“But she didn’t. She gave me that tough love I needed.”

“Did you two…” his words heavy with insinuation, Gavin threw his head back and laughed, Hank felt his stomach flip.

“Nah, we’re both too gay for that shit.” once he finished laughing.

“Someone ever tell you you talk a lot?”

“If I had a dime every time someone told me to shut the fuck up…” he joked.

“I’m tellin’ ya to get to the point.”

“I’m tellin’ you I’m not gonna be a nurturing type sponsor. If you’re looking for me to hold your hand, then you should look for someone else.”

Gavin takes another sip of his coffee; Hank watches him with curiosity eager to hear what he has to say next.

“You’re a cop, right? It makes it harder. I know what that’s like. I won’t be nice, but I’ll be there for you. No bullshitting around.”

“That’s the kind of thing I need. I don’t need overbearing or hand holding.”

Gavin smirked. “Well, then got yourself a sponsor.”

The next few weren’t easy, but being Gavin made it bearable. He was right, he wasn’t nice. He was an abrasive arrogant asshole.

But he was there when he needed him. He always picked up the phone at 2 a.m when he was thinking about going to the nearest liquor store and losing himself. Gavin was good at distracting him by starting up arguments about which baseball team was better. Chicago’s or Detroit.

Hank tells him, “You guys have two teams and still suck ass.” Hearing the feigned offended gasp from Gavin never ceases to make him smile. He looks forward to it.

Hank would always get heated from Gavin knowing which buttons to press. By the time 4 A.M rolled around Hank almost forgot that he woke up in a cold sweat 2 hours earlier with the urge to drink.

They hung out every other day and would see each other at meetings. Before he would dread the meetings only because going there reminded him of far he had fallen. He’s told Gavin this and he watched as his face scrunched up in anger.

“You dumbass. Being there means you’re alive and you’re making your life better for yourself. It’s not failure it’s a God damn success. Every meeting is a fucking achievement.”

The dread turned to excitement. It meant he’d get to see Gavin again. The younger man usually walks in later than he did and would give Hank a quick nod while making a beeline for the coffee. He watches him as he takes the first sip and make a face of disgust. He’s never surprised to see him continue to drink it anyway.

After the meeting they would get lunch and chat about what had happened since they last saw each other. Hank wasn’t a particularly chatty person, but with Gavin it was different.

He remembers talking to Connor about him as they have yet to meet. Connor watched him with wariness.

“Hank…please don’t take this the wrong way.” He starts.

“Spit it out, Connor.”

“Are your feelings for Gavin starting to deviate into something inappropriate.” Hank choked on his coffee, coughing as he felt the liquid go down the wrong pipe. The idea of him and Gavin? They’ve only known each other for 9 months. But it’s honestly the happiest he’s felt since…well. Cole. He’d never be that happy again. But this was close.

Hank was silent after he coughed trying to clear the coffee from his airways.

“What the hell, Connor?” his mouth went dry, the way Connor was looking at him made his fingers twitch.

“If I’m wrong, I apologize.” he said after a moment. Connor wasn’t wrong when it came to picking up on things. Hank hadn’t noticed feelings growing inside him.

He hadn’t noticed the way his eyes would linger on his lips as he spoke. Or how his shaky hands felts so still when Gavin playfully clasped him on the shoulder. How he looked forward to hearing the grogginess in his voice when he calls him at 2 in the morning. The butterflies in his stomach he tried to suppress every time he would see his little arrogant smirk.

“I don’t…know what I’m feelin’.” after thinking about it for a moment.

Connor blinked in surprise at Hank’s honesty. The program and Gavin must have made him a bit more in touch with his feelings.

“Maybe you should tell Gavin.” Connor suggested.

—-That brought them back at the coffee shop for one of their weekly updates. It was mostly just to talk about the game from the previous night, but for Hank he wanted to say something more.

Gavin seemed to have notice the tension in the air. He didn’t say anything. Let Hank have the first say clear the air with whatever he wanted to get off his chest.

After a few minutes of silence, it seems Gavin’s small amount of patience ran out.

“Spit it out already? Did you relapse? Cuz you know that’s okay that’s what I’m here for.” Gavin’s face is determined, and he slides his hand on the table. Hank sees his hand begin to try and reach for his but in the last second plants his palm flat on the table.

Hank resists the urge to reach out but stopped himself too. Instead shaking his head in response.

“No, it’s something else…”

Gavin’s face hinted relief and transitioned concern. His face flashed a certain hardness to it.

“Guess I know what it is. Wanna change sponsors? I get it. It’s fine. Don’t worry you gotta do the best thing for your recovery. I’m not the most nurturing guy or anything and I’m not exactly that fun to hang out with but—”

“Will you shut up for a second?” Hank feeling a hint of annoyance but also wanted to soothe Gavin of his insecurities.

Gavin shut his mouth forehead crease his face confused but willing to listen to what Hank had to say.

“Not to kiss your ass, but you’re a great sponsor. I haven’t been close to relapsin’ since meeting you. You’ve done more for me than I expected. You’re there for me and you’re not as big of an asshole as you let people know. I don’t know we’ve only known each other a few months but….” the look in Hank’s eye said everything he didn’t say and everything he felt.

Gavin stared at him, eyes blown open, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Hank waited expectantly for Gavin to process everything.

“I… have to go.”

Gavin took some bills from his pocket leaving it on the table and leaving without another word.

Hank felt his insides crumble.

—-Connor kept an extra eye on Hank after that. Hank didn’t relapse, just felt empty. Empty at home. At the station. Only 3 days had passed, and he’s heard nothing from Gavin. The alcohol called to him, but he keeps on thinking on the disappointed look on Gavin’s face. It was hard to resist, and Connor was like a hawk, trying to get anything to drink would be nearly impossible.

He shouldn’t have said anything. It was too fast. It was inappropriate. Gavin wanted to help with his recovery and Hank made it complicated with feelings. You weren’t supposed to fall for your sponsor. He ruined everything. A good friend, someone he cared for deeply, chased off by his feelings.

—-

‘Meet me at the diner. Regular time.’

The message from Gavin sent Hank in a spiral of emotions. Gavin was speaking to him again after what felt like forever. What if it was to tell him they could no longer spend time together? Part of him didn’t want to go in fear of rejection. He was fully prepared for Gavin to look at him with a mixture of pity and disgust and tell him to never contact him again.

Before he could decide he was already in his car. Hours had passed and he was on his way to their diner. He spotted Gavin’s car. The man was never early to anything and so being here before he was added to the intensity of the situation.

His stomach is in knots as he hears the familiar bell chime when he enters the diner. There are a few people there already, Gavin sticks out among the rest. His entrance catches Gavin’s attention, the man looks up from his coffee, Hank averted his gaze and found the clock on the wall more interesting than Gavin’s stupidly pretty eyes.

He made it to their regular booth and sat down. The waitress poured Hank some coffee and left them to talk.

Silence was the first noticeable thing. Hank’s mouth dried up not knowing what to say. Anything he wanted to say die upon seeing Gavin.

“I’m sorry.” was the first thing Gavin said finally putting the deafening silence to an end.

Hank doesn’t know what to do with this statement. Sorry for not texting? Sorry for leaving so suddenly last time? Sorry for not reciprocating his feelings?

“For what?” He brings himself to say, voice trying not to crack under the strain of the tension between them.

Gavin runs a hand through the locks of his hair letting out a sigh and eyes starting at his coffee and landing on Hank.

“I don’t know…shit…I’m fuckin’…I don’t do this shit often. I’m sorry for bailing the other day. For not texting. It probably kinda fucked you up. 'Specially after you told me—”

“It’s fine, we all fuck up. You’re here now. Listen, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t feel the same way I get that.”

Gavin’s eyes widen.

“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” a confused look on his face appearance in the lines on his face.

“You’re my sponsor. You’re supposed to support me. Talk to me on the phone. Meet me up to check my progress. I misinterpreted that shit as feelings. I don’t know why a guy like you could ever love, hell, even like a guy like me. Fucked up as I am.”

Gavin’s expression grew increasingly more furious with each degrading thing Hank said about himself until Gavin slaps a hand on the table. It wasn’t loud enough to make Hank jump but to stop his rambling.

“Cut that shit out. You don’t know jackshit about how I feel about you or this situation. Sponsors aren’t supposed to talk to you for hours. They sure as hell aren’t supposed to meet for coffee 3 times a week. They aren’t supposed to think about what shade of blue your eyes are.”

Hank looks at him in hint of disbelief.

“What I’m sayin’ is, I feel the same fucking way. I left cuz I didn’t want you to get dragged down by my issues. Your recovery is the most important and I didn’t know if hanging around me would fuck you up.”

Hank continued listening, each word seemingly replacing the years alcohol had taken from his lifespan.

“I had to talk to my sponsor. She told me to stop being an idiot.” he chuckled at remembering her words. Gavin’s hand moved onto Hank’s. He moved over the table and pressing his lips against the older man’s, letting his lips tell Hank how much he means to him. Hank kisses back once the shock has died down, squeezing his hand in return.

It was everything Hank had hoped for. Gavin’s soft lips and tongue tasted of coffee, cigarettes, and sweet pastries. He could feel the stubble pleasantly scratch against his face. They parted ways once they remembered they were in a public space. Hank’s cheeks pinked by the experience.

“I can’t be your sponsor anymore.” Gavin said with a small smile. The words were soft, but Hank felt sadden at the fact Gavin would no longer hold that title.

“But that just means I can take you out.” Hank replies.

“It means you can fuck me into a mattress now, yeah.” Gavin’s eyes sparked with something Hank can’t quite place.

Hank scoffs, “Who says I’m doin’ the fucking?”

“Always knew you were a pillow princess.” Hank throws his head back and laughs, squeezing Gavin’s calloused hands again, never wanting to let go.

Their forgotten untouched coffee going cold as they continue to talk freely, without the restraints of sponsorship.

#hankvin #hank anderson #gavin reed #hankgav #dbh #detroit become human #au #mentions of past alcoholism #recovery #my shit #ficlet #hope you like it!!!!#ask

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luvknow · 6 years

Text

press play | bang chan

genre: radio dj!chan x reader feat. minho | college au ; fluff ; humor ; light angst ; dialogue-heavy summary: bang chan, founder and one of the hosts of the campus’s most popular radio show, raises money for charity where students can purchase tickets to be put in a lottery. the winner gets to go on a one-on-one date with none other than CB97 himself, all expenses paid. when you hear chan say your name over the radio, you’re stuck wondering how your name even got there in the first place. wc: 7.1k (jsbdjsbd)

warning - mentions of drinking/college party

CHAN’S PLAYLIST

“What’s up, friends!? You’re listening to 3RACHA Radio. It’s CB on the mic, with J.ONE and SPEARB right beside me and if you’re just tuning in, we just got off with caller number seven about his frequent unfortunate event with his roommate exiling him with the good ol’ ‘sock on the door handle’. We hope all goes well with you, number seven! And remember: don’t be a snitch and tattle on the RA.”

“Oh good, you’re listening.”

Without any warning or even a simple knock on your door, Minho walked into your apartment unsolicited and took a seat next to you at the kitchen table that doubled as another desk as you spread all of your study materials on top. Then, he had the audacity to go into your fridge and take a drink.

“Hello to you, too. Sure, you can have a drink! Just take whatever’s in the fridge,” you say sarcastically as an unbothered Minho chugs his drink of choice.

“’Sup. Anyways, you’re listening to 3RACHA, right?”

“Against my will, but yes. Why am I listening to it again?”

“I put in a shout out for you!”

“That’s it!?”

“What do you mean, ‘that’s it’!? Isn’t it so cool to hear your name over the radio and everyone knows that it’s you?”

“Our campus is huge, I doubt people will know it’s me.”

“Well, you’ll know it’s you, and that’s all that matters. You’re already listening anyways, so just wait for it.”

You rolled your eyes as Minho takes his seat next to you, though not before he grabs a snack to munch on while you both listen to the radio that played in the background. Somehow throughout most days of the week, Minho ended up at your place after class either hanging out or eating your food. He even slept on your couch on some days because he was too lazy to take walk for ten minutes. After eating all of your food and spending more time at your apartment than yourself, you really considered asking him to pay rent since he might as well be living there.

You yank the bag of chips away from the hungry boy. “Stop eating my food! You still owe me like, two more bags!”

He pouted cutely, knowing too well that it was your weakness. “But I’m hungry ~ Just add it to my tab!”

“You’re never going to pay me back,” you scoffed, reluctantly handing him back your chips.

“How big is my tab, anyways?”

“Three bags of potato chips now, two four-packs of ramen, at least a carton of eggs because of the ramen, a pint of ice cream and -” you paused to mentally calculate how many drinks he owed you. “Twelve cans of cola.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, yikes. Now pay me back.”

“Soon, soon ~”

“How can you even eat that much and still have a six pack?”

“It’s called going to the gym. Maybe use your free membership once in a while and you’ll have one, too,” he teased.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“The time has come, everyone! The moment we’ve all been waiting for,” you both heard J.ONE say on the radio.

“Oh, I think this is it!” Minho squealed, hitting your arm repeatedly. “Listen, listen!”

“That’s right, J.ONE. We’re about to find out the lucky sucker who gets to go on a date with our one and only hyung, CB97.”

“It’s unfortunate for them, really.”

“Agreed.”

“Hey! I’m right here!” CB whined.

“Ugh, a date with Chan? That poor soul...” you tisked.

Minho didn’t respond and just sipped his cola silently.

“We’ll now pull from the lottery, where all of your tickets are mixed up in this big jar. Then, we’ll call the number on the ticket and set up your date on-air, right now!” J.ONE cheered.

“Ah, why am I so nervous?” Chan said.

“It’s because we tried selling you to all these people in the lottery. But hey, we raised over $500 for school supplies for children!”

“That’s incredible. I can’t wait to meet one of you guys who contributed to this crazy amount. SPEARB, pick a name!”

You were only half paying attention to the show as you tried to finish your homework, thinking it wasn’t time for any shout outs to be said. The only time you ever listened to 3RACHA RADIO was with Minho and even then, you never really paid attention. It’s not that you weren’t a fan of the show - you thought their concept was super cool.

But the Djs? Well...

“And the lucky winner is... _____!”

“What’s up?” you asked Minho, not looking up from your homework.

“What?”

“You said my name?”

“That wasn’t me who said your name.”

“Who else would have said it -? Wait...”

As if on cue, your cellphone rang, with the caller ID coming from campus. At this point, Minho struggled to hold in his laugh when you looked at him with wide, terrified eyes.

“What did you do!?” you hissed.

“Just answer the phone!”

“No!”

“Hello, _____ ~ Please pick up ~!” SPEARB sang.

Minho was unfazed when you shot him the iciest glare while you answered your phone. “H-Hello...?” you stuttered.

“_____?”

“Yes...?”

“Congratulations! You were picked from the lottery drawing and won an all-expenses paid date with our one and only CB97!”

You silently mouthed at least a dozen curse words at Minho, who could only decipher a total of four.

“Ah, wow, that’s crazy...! I can’t believe the chances that this really happened!” You really couldn’t believe it, especially since you never bought a ticket. “It’s like I won the real lottery!” you said in your fakest cheerful voice.

“That’s great to hear! CB, would you do the honors of arranging your date?”

“I would love to. So _____, what kind of food do you like to eat?”

“All kinds.”

“Did you want to do anything romantic? Like the movies, or the amusement park? Museum, maybe?”

“You know, all of that sounds so expensive. I don’t want to waste your time and go through all of that!” You were practically begging him not to make the date any longer than it should be. You don’t even think you could last through dinner with him.

“Nonsense! It’s never a waste of time if I’m spending it with listeners like you.”

You exaggerated the way you rolled your eyes and Minho chucked a pillow at you.

‘Be nice!’ he mouthed silently.

“Um, I’m ok with anything, really,” you told him.

“Ok, so I’ll just surprise you the night of! We’ll play the night by ear. Does this weekend at seven sound good with you?”

“Actually, that’s really bad timing, because -” Before you knew it, Minho took your phone and ran around your apartment before you could reject Chan’s suggestion. “Hey!”

“Yes, this weekend at seven is perfect!” he said in a shrill voice that impersonated you.

“Great! I can’t wait until then. I’ll see you soon.”

“Goodbye, Channie ~” Minho sang. He then quickly hung up your phone and ran away as far as possible from you before you could stab him with your pen.

“I’m going to kill you,” you threatened after shutting off the radio.

“Wait, don’t hurt me! I can explain!” He giggled before you tackled him on the couch.

“Why is my name in the lottery!? I never even bought a ticket from them!”

“‘You’ actually bought fifty of them.”

“You bought fifty tickets just so you could see me be miserable on a date with Bang Chan!? Must be nice to have that kind of money just lying around!”

“I didn’t want to put my name down and I thought it’d be funny to put yours down instead! I didn’t think they’d actual pick it, I’m sorry ~!!” he groaned under your weight. “Can you get off of me, please!? I have a weak back!”

Reluctantly, you did as he begged. Then you ran your hands through your hair, stressed from the events that happened in a mere three-minute call. You still couldn’t believe you were set to go on a date with Bang Chan.

“You’re the worst friend ever and I hate you,” you pouted.

“I don’t get it, why are you so upset? He’s a cool guy. Handsome, too. And funny. Why would anyone not want to go on a date with him?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go on this date instead?”

“Yes, dumbass. I’m just confused - I’ve never met anyone who hated 3RACHA before.”

“Ok, I don’t hate 3RACHA. The show’s actually decently written and I don’t even know the other djs. It’s just Chan that rubs me the wrong way.”

“What happened?”

You sigh deeply, falling into your couch as you recalled events from your very first college party with Chan.

“So BamBam threw this party the night he moved into his apartment our first year of college, right? It was huge, like anyone who was anyone was there and it was a great time. I came with Seokmin, Minghao, and Mingyu and we were just hanging out waiting to play some game, and suddenly Chan stumbled in between us and spilled his drink all. over. me.”

“So he was drunk and spilled a little bit, that’s normal at parties!”

“Oh, but there’s more, my dear Minho,” you chimed. “He puked all over my shoes two seconds later.”

“Ew...”

“Yeah, imagine that - covered in sticky jungle juice on the top half and Chan’s vomit on the bottom half. And the worst part about everything was that Chan never apologized! He just kept on walking!! Can you believe that?”

“I don’t know, that seems like some petty stuff to be angry over. Maybe he’ll redeem himself and apologize next week when you go on a date?”

“I doubt it. It was so long ago, I don’t even think he remembers it was me, let alone knows who I am.”

“Oh, trust me, he knows who you are.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, you and I are together pretty often, so the guys see me with you a lot. And they know I take you to the parties. They all pretty much know who you are by now.”

“Great...”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! He’s not that rude when he’s sober, I promise,” Minho said as he nudged your side. It was weird for Minho to be pushing you to go on a date like this. It felt like he was hiding something. But he always teased you about not going on enough dates, so maybe that’s why.

“Even then, I’ve just heard so many things about him, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

The whole thing about Chan spilling the contents of his cup and his gut all over you was surprisingly not what you were worried about the most. What you were worried about was Chan’s overwhelming popularity, so to say. You’ve heard tons of rumors on what it was like to go on a date with him and most of them consisted of him gumming up the works so he could get what he wanted at the end of the night. Even if this date was fake and all for the purpose of fulfilling the lottery, who’s to say that he wouldn’t try something, anyways? All you knew was that you had to be extra careful around him.

“Isn’t Chan kind of like a playboy? He gets around all the time because of 3RACHA Radio. What if he tries something?”

“He’s wouldn’t do that to you. You’re not some person he wanted to hook up with at some sleazy party. You’re someone he wants to take out on a date.”

“Yeah, a forced date... But ok, I trust you,” you caved in. “If it starts to get really bad though, I’m gonna call you to get me out of there.”

“Fine. It’s the least I could do, I guess.”

“Literally the bare minimum.”

“Hey, you look pretty good!”

Tonight was the big night that everyone was waiting for - your lottery date with Bang Chan. You had no idea where he was taking you, so you dressed as semi-casual as possible, hoping you’d fit whatever environment that was thrown at you. When you walked out of your room, Minho gave you his thumbs up of approval.

“Like you actually look put-together for once,” he teased.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Oh, come on! I said I was sorry! And like you said, if it’s really that bad, you can call me and I’ll come pick you up asap.”

“What’s your excuse if he asks?”

“I don’t know, that your dog’s in the emergency room, or something.”

“I don’t have a dog...”

“Ok, but he doesn’t know that.”

A knock came at your door and now was not the best time to start getting nervous. What was there to be nervous about, anyways? You’ve been on plenty of dates before, and with boys you actually liked, so this should be a piece of cake, right?

“_____? It’s me, Chan.”

“Can you tell him I went to the emergency room instead?” you begged Minho.

“Shut up and just enjoy your free date with free food. But be home by midnight ~!”

With a huge sigh, you bucked up the courage to take the first steps in getting this date over with.

On the other side of your door stood a dashing and handsome Chan patiently waiting. He had his hands behind his back as if he was hiding something. You were so curious about what he was hiding that you failed to notice the slight drop in his jaw.

“Hey,” he breathed out. “You look great.”

“Not so bad yourself,” you admitted. “What are you hiding...?”

“Hm? Oh!” Chan hands you a bouquet of your favorite flowers wrapped neatly in brown paper - an arrangement that must not have been cheap. “I asked Minho what your favorite flower was so I could get them.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, though you couldn’t help but admire the beautiful bouquet in your arms. A smile broke on your lips and Chan thinks to himself that he must be making the right moves so far. “I love them. Thank you.”

“Shall we?” Like a true gentleman, he extends an elbow for you to take and without hesitation, you accepted.

“Wow, I didn’t take you as the gentleman type.”

“Is it because I spilled my drink and threw up on you our first year?”

“Ah, so you do remember,” you scolded. “Good. I was afraid I had to remind you.”

“Of course I do! How could I not remember the most embarrassing night of my college life?”

“What even happened?”

“You really want to know what happened?” You nodded eagerly. A blushing Chan turned his head and avoided eye contact. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“To me? Why?”

“I thought you were really cute, so I drank a couple drinks to buck up the courage to talk to you and thought ‘hey, Chan, you’re definitely not sober right now, go talk to her’.”

“And so you spilled everything on me instead and walked away.”

“Yup, that’s exactly it,” with his free hand, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, pink still evident on his cheeks. “I’m so sorry for that night. I’ve been too embarrassed to talk to you ever since. Do you forgive me?”

Chan’s flattery was on a whole other level than you had expected and now you weren’t sure what words were real and what words were just for show. He really just admitted that he thought you were cute five minutes into the date and you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t fall for anything like that. Yet here you were, taking in his every word, and so ready to forgive him just because he asked.

I mean, all he did was apologize for spilling on you... It’s not like he was trying anything yet, right? No harm done yet.

“All is forgiven, I guess,” you teasingly sighed. “Only if you tell me what’s planned for tonight.”

“Dinner and a movie. Does that deserve forgiveness now?”

“It does.”

“Thank god.”

Sitting down at a candlelit setting was quite awkward at first. You felt so adult - like you two were both real adults going on a real date together. But Chan made things much easier because he was an easy-going guy. He made it feel more like you two were just friends hanging out and pretending to be fancy and forgetting all about the other paying customers who gave you dirty looks whenever you burst out laughing.

Time never seemed to pass your mind the entire evening.

“Oh, shit,” Chan cursed. “We’re late for the movie.”

“Aren’t there previews?”

“Yeah, but we're really late for the movie - like we missed the entire thing.”

“Oh, yikes.”

“Yeah,” Chan chuckled. “Guess we were having too much fun.”

“That’s a shame... Wanna get dessert?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Ice cream always tasted better when it was free and after 10:00pm. It was a popular place to be, so a ton of sweet-deprived students always crowded the place at this time. When the both of you walked in, it felt like all eyes were on you.

Oh yeah, you almost forgot how well-known the founder and host of the campus’ most popular radio show was.

You knew Chan must have sensed your anxiousness by the way he grabbed your hand and guided you through the line. Even if this was one of his moves, how could you be mad at his sweet gesture? A gentle squeeze in return earned you a soft smile from him.

After lacing his fingers with yours, he helped you keep your attention on him and the ice cream only. You opted for your favorite flavor as you always did, but Chan went for a more adventurous one - one that was all black and looked like it could stain your clothes if he got too close.

“What is that?” you asked after exiting the shoppe.

“Black sesame. It’s actually very good! Wanna try some?”

As Chan tried to shove his cone in your direction, you let go of his hand and backed away immediately.

“Gross, no thank you.”

“C’mon, when would you ever try this again!?”

“Never.”

“Exactly. Just one lick!”

“No!” you giggled, trying to avoid the dangerously dark ice cream. “Hey, be careful throwing your ice cream around like that!”

“Why, are you afraid I might spill it on you - Oh, shit.”

What you feared most had really just happened - a single drop of melted black sesame ice cream landed on your really cute shirt and now you were mad. You were going to make Chan pay. This would be for all the clothing he’s ever ruined and for future ones to come.

“You know, Chan, I was having a really good time on our fake date until now,” you tisked, approaching him slowly with your ice cream locked and loaded on a spoon. The cautious boy backed away slowly. “But now it’s ruined.”

“W-Wait, I didn’t mean to!” he shrieked in between laughs. “I’m sorry!”

“Sorry’s not enough this time. This is one of my favorite shirts, and now I gotta avenge it.”

“Ok, but do you really have to -”

“Yes.”

A deep sigh escaped his lips when he realized you were not going to back down from this. So reluctantly, he held his arms wide open to widen your target.

“Hit me with your best shot, _____ -” and before he could finish his sentence, you already aimed and catapulted right at his chest. “Jeez, at least let me finish!”

“We’re even now ~” you sang happily as you walked passed.

It was probably around midnight by the time you arrived home, but you still felt like the night was young and there was so much left for the two of you to do. But the rules of the lottery stated that Chan had to have you home by Midnight or else it violated the school’s rules and now you arrived at the front of your apartment feelings a bit unfulfilled.

“Something on your mind?” Chan asked.

“I don’t know. I kind of wanted the night to keep going,” you shrugged.

“Really?” he beamed cutely.

“Are you surprised?”

“I am. I thought you hated me.”

“I’m not going to lie, I kind of did. I actually really didn’t want to go until Minho stole my phone and said yes.”

“Why didn’t you want to go?”

“I-I don’t know...” you quickly became the shy one. How do you tell him that he has a reputation of being a playboy in a nice way? “I know this was fake and for the lottery and show and everything, but you’re so... experienced in all of this, aren’t you? I’ve never really been on a date before.”

“Ah, so that’s what scared you?” he chuckled. “I suppose I am experienced, as you said, but I wouldn’t pull any moves like that on you. I like you too much to be so boyish like that.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I like you, too - even after all of my clothes you’ve stained. And I’m glad Minho took my phone and told you yes to this date.”

“I’m glad he did, too.” Chan’s gentle smile really knew how to pull at your heart strings. “H-Hey, so I wanted to ask... would you like to maybe hang out some time? For real?”

Almost immediately, you said, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

And with a gentle kiss on the back of your hand, he bid you farewell.

“Good night, my love ~” he teased.

After your lottery date, you and Chan stayed true to your word that you two would hang out some time and it happened a lot more often than you expected. Nearly every chance you two had some free time in between or after classes, your time would be split up between spending it with Minho or spending it with Chan.

“I can’t believe he’s replacing me,” Minho tisked. “After disliking him for so long, you go on one date and suddenly you’re head over heels for him.”

“Ok one, it was not a real date, and two, I’m not falling for him like that!”

“Either way, I made this happen, so you’re welcome.”

You also found yourself listening to the show every time they were on air, and every now and then, Chan would throw in a shout out or dedicate a song to you without explicitly saying it on the radio.

chan [9:43 PM]: hey, are you listening right now? i played this song for you ~

you [9:45 PM]: i practically have a playlist by now after all the songs you’ve played for me lol.

chan [9:45 PM]: i guess you do huh? do you like it so far?

you [9:46 PM]: i like it a lot! i’ve never had one before. have you made playlists for others before?

chan [9:47 PM]: nope. only for you.

you [9:49 PM]: wow, i feel special lol.

chan [9:49 PM]: you are to me.

Small gestures like that and other things like buying more of your favorite flowers, or treating you to late night ice cream, and especially daring to hold your hand when you two were together was making your situation way more difficult than you could ever imagine. He was so sweet and kind and unlike any boy you’ve ever met. You could understand why he was so experienced with dating because how could anyone resist him when he made you feel so special?

You suddenly felt small just thinking about all the rumors you’ve heard.

How could you have found yourself stuck in between so quickly? And what were you to do? Now you were confused and stuck wondering if Chan could ever share the same feelings because people who were just friends wouldn’t be like this with one another, right?

Another Friday night in was spent listening to 3RACHA Radio in your quiet apartment as you attempted to finish small assignments that were due on Monday, but you were so caught up in the show whenever Chan talked that you couldn’t even focus. So instead of bothering with them, you pushed them aside and put your whole attention to the radio.

God, you were whipped.

“Thank you, caller number eight, for that very, um, graphic story,” J.ONE cleared his throat. “And that’s our last caller for tonight, guys.”

“Jeez, already? These days, time seems to get shorter and shorter on the show,” Chan said. “Before we end the night, we’d like to give a happy birthday shout out to our very good friend, Hyunjin! Happy birthday, bro! Can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight at your party.”

Oh, you had no idea it was Hyunjin’s birthday today. Minho had failed to invite you to the party as he always had with the other guys’ birthdays.

After turning off the radio, you called Minho with a sour expression on your face.

“Yo,” he greeted.

“Are you mad at me or something? Or does Hyunjin hate me?”

“What? No, why?”

“Why didn’t you invite me to his party?”

“Oh, that... I didn’t think you wanted to go...?”

“Why would I not want to go out on a Friday night?”

“Ok, you’re more than welcome to come with me, it’s just... Don’t get mad, ok?”

“Spill, Minho!”

“I didn’t want to bring you because Chan said he was taking someone else.”

Oh... Well, did you feel like an idiot, or what?

“So he told you not to invite me?” you asked, voice just above a whisper.

“No, I was the one who didn’t invite you because I didn’t want you to see that.”

“Thanks for trying to protect me, but I think I can handle it,” you said sincerely. It was moments like these that you thanked Minho for being such a good friend. “Can you pick me up on your way there?”

“Yeah. I’ll be over in thirty minutes.”

Now you were angry. At Chan, at yourself, at this entire situation! How could you be foolish enough to fall for Chan’s gestures when he was probably doing the same thing to that other poor soul he was taking to the party?

Or maybe you were just reading too much into this...

Maybe Chan thought of you as just a friend - a friend he bought flowers for, a friend he held hands with, a friend he’d pepper kisses on the top of you head - you know, just friend things, right? He probably saw all of that just another form of platonic affection, and you were just stupid enough to think it meant something more.

Who knew who else he was playing this game with? Either way, maybe two could play at this game. You were going to have fun without him tonight.

When Minho walked in and saw what you were wearing, his eyes went wide and his cheeks tinted pink.

“Whoa, you look... u-uh, good,” he stuttered. “You trying to rile someone up tonight?”

“Maybe. Hey, can I ask you a favor tonight?”

“Sure. I kind of owe you one after not inviting you, anyways.”

“Can I use you to get back at him?”

“What!?” he shrieked. “You’re going to drag me into this!?”

“Please ~? I won’t do anything gross like kiss you or anything, just like, dance with you or stick by you most of the time.”

“... Fine, just... yeah, don’t kiss me. You can get really kissy when you drink.”

Minho could tell simply by the way you walked to the party that you were here to play a serious game. But all of your unwavering confidence flew out the door when you walked in. The place was packed like sardines with drunk friends and strangers who were either dancing, making out, or anything in between.

And even in such a crowded place like this, you immediately spotted Chan talking and smiling with some girl who was holding his hand.

Before you could feel any more miserable, Minho boyishly wrapped his arm around you and dragged you to the kitchen where all the alcohol was.

“I need a shot or four,” you told your best friend.

“Pace yourself tonight, ok? Knowing you, you’ll do something stupid if you don’t.”

It was bottoms up for the next several minutes for you, to which you definitely did not heed Minho’s advice. You can’t remember how many you’ve taken, but by the looks on your friend’s face, it can’t be a low number.

The alcohol helps you forget why you even wanted to go to Hyunjin’s birthday in the first place. You spend a good hour mingling with yours and Minho’s mutual friends and you were finally given the pleasure to meet all of the boys whom you’ve heard so much about.

“Oh, they’re all so handsome ~!” you gushed, cheeks glowing pinker by the minute.

“I like them. You should bring them around more often,” a flirty Jisung said as he side-hugged you.

“Alright alright, shoo!” Minho said, slapping his arms off of you. He pulled you in close to whisper in your ear. “Hey, he’s looking at you.”

“Hm?”

You looked across the room to where Minho was gesturing at and had a hard time focusing on Chan’s shocked expression that soon melted into something you could have mistook for hurt. You were much too intoxicated to read into it nor did you care that he was completely ignoring the girl he came with just to look at you. Regardless, you didn’t like the attention you were feeding him, as he didn’t need it from you, anyways.

You needed to get out of there.

“Let’s dance,” you said, dragging Minho to the dance floor.

“Oh, good call.”

Dancing with Minho the way everyone else in the room was dancing was too raunchy for your immature souls, so you opted for a more innocent position. You had your hands wrapped around his neck and he rested his on your hips and enjoyed the music that deafened your ears.

“He followed us,” Minho yelled over the music. “He’s behind you. I guess this is a good sign?”

“Eh, who gives a fuck anymore,” you pouted sourly. “He can go take her home for all I care.”

“Don’t say that, I know you care.”

“Of course I do... But what can I do? He asked her to come tonight, not me. Besides, why does it matter when I have you, anyways ~”

“You’re gross, don’t say that, either!”

As you danced with Minho in the middle of the dance floor, you both were too drunk and too into each other to notice Chan’s piercing gaze. If you had danced on Minho just like every other person in this room was doing to their partner, maybe Chan wouldn’t have felt so... angry. But no, he saw you throwing your head back while laughing, playing with his hair, and hold him closely in a tight hug.

And for Chan, that was the worst part about seeing you with Minho - it was knowing that Minho was someone so special to you and you shared this intimate moment with him right in front of Chan who couldn’t even dream of being in Minho’s position.

But he couldn’t blame you. How could he when he brought the girl he was dancing with instead? He brought this upon himself, all because he feared that he was committing to you too quickly. But it’s not like you two were even official or exclusive or anything, right? So it’s not like he was wrong for bringing someone else...

But now seeing that Minho was the one who got to laugh with you and hold you close and not Chan, he couldn’t help but feel angry, as he saw the tables turn before him.

Towards the end of the night, neither you nor Minho were seen still at the party, and Chan can only assume from there where you two had gone off. Probably back to your place, since he’s heard so many stories of Minho practically living there, anyways...

But maybe you didn’t take him home, as your mutual friend came running up to Chan and his girl out of breath and a little frantic.

“Hey, have you seen _____?”

“No, why? Are they ok?” he asked, though wishing he didn’t sound like he cared so much.

“They wanted to get some fresh air a couple of minutes ago and now I can’t find them and they’re not answering their phone. They can get a little wander-y when they drinks, so they could have gone or ended up literally anywhere...”

“I’ll help you,” he said immediately. Chan left his date behind and now he was out the door running in all directions to look for you.

Thirty minutes were spent running around the neighborhood and campus calling your name while calling your phone. It was still ringing on Chan’s end, so you hadn’t turned it off or ran out of battery yet, but you still wouldn’t answer. After nearly an hour of searching, and almost giving up, Chan could hear the faint ring of your phone off in the distance.

“_____?” he called out, but no one answer.

As he ran towards the sound of your phone ringing, he could feel his nervousness rising just thinking about seeing you face-to-face again after tonight’s events. How was he supposed to face you? Would you even want to see him again after tonight?

On an empty sidewalk on one of the campus’s main streets, there you were walking back towards the party. You must have been so tired by the way you dragged your feet on the floor. For a minute, Chan just followed you and watched you, noticing just from your body language that you were upset and he wondered if it was all because of him.

Chan called your phone one more time. He watched you look at the caller idea, sigh deeply, and shove the phone back in your pocket.

“My love, please pick up your phone ~,” Chan said loud enough for you to hear.

Your feet froze to the concrete and you didn’t even bother turning around to look at him. Not when your face was all red and a bit puffy.

Before you could walk away again, Chan ran up in front of you.

“Hey,” he said softly. By the look he was giving you, you about thought how you must have looked so pathetic after crying. “What’s wrong...?”

“Nothing,” you replied curtly. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you. Minho said you ran off, so I got worried and -”

“Well, I’m fine. You can go back now.” When you tried to walk around Chan, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back to him. “What?”

“Why are you running away from me? Is it because of that girl I brought?”

“I don’t care what you do or who you do on your free time. It’s none of my business.”

“_____, please, it’s not what you think.”

“I really liked you,” you admitted. God, how many drinks did you have for you to admit that so easily? You saw Chan’s face twist in surprise. “I didn’t want to because I knew something like this was going to happen. Why did you do all those things for me if you didn’t like me, too?”

“But I do. I like you so, so much.”

You searched for any sign of insincerity as he confessed to you, but you couldn’t find any, so what were you supposed to believe?

“Then who was she?” you asked, although you’re not sure if you want to hear the answer.

“She’s just someone I brought to the party.”

“Do you like her, too?”

“No, I don’t!”

“So all the touching and dancing with her meant nothing to you?”

“Yes, it meant nothing to me. What about you and Minho?” he accused.

“Whoa, Minho’s my best friend!”

“Best friends don’t look at each other like that.”

All of this arguing was just running in circles and if you weren’t the one blaming him for your hurt feelings, then he’d blame his own on you and Minho. It was going nowhere, and it was already 3:00am, so maybe you should save all this fighting for another time.

“Just leave me alone,” you muttered, walking away from Chan once more.

“_____, wait.”

But he didn’t chase after you. He was tired, too.

“Fuck.”

“Good evening, friends,” Chan greeted in his mic. “It’s ya boy CB alone on the mic tonight as J.ONE and SPEARB have finals to study for. Tonight I will not be answering any phone calls as I am not so much in the mood to do so. I mean this in the nicest way possible. It’s not because of you guys, it’s never because of you guys, it’s just one of those days, you know?”

A couple of weeks after the party, you had successfully avoided Chan and his many phone calls. Every time, you were closer and closer to just caving in and picking up the phone, but you never did. Lately, the calls had lessened by the day, and you’d think the pain in your chest would subside with it, but it only strengthened and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep up the facade. You also thought a good way to cope with your feelings was to listen to Chan on the radio, but boy, were you completely wrong.

You felt like you could fall for him all over again.

“Today has been one of those days where there’s only one thing I could think about. Well, in my case, it was one person I could only think about...” Your heart leaped in your chest at his words. “You know those kinds of days, right? Where you think about them all day and you get really happy inside just thinking about their smile, or their laugh, or even remembering something as stupid as staining their shirt with black sesame ice cream one time?”

Was he describing your first date?

“Yeah, tonight is one of those nights. Actually, it’s been every night for me lately. That’s right, guys, your boy CB has been bit by some stupid love bug. And what sucks the most is that I miss them dearly...”

And you missed him dearly, too.

“I miss them so much that I made them a playlist. Throughout the past couple of months, I’ve played and dedicated one song every show to this person, and now I put them and some more songs all together into one stupid playlist, which I will play tonight. This is for you, _____. I hope you’re listening, and know that I miss you.”

You remembered every song except the last couple on the playlist before he even pressed play. You wrote each of them down every time he texted you that he dedicated it to you in hopes that one day you’d actually make the playlist for yourself, but now he did it for you and you couldn’t stop your heart from bursting.

“Ah, after I said I wouldn’t take any calls, you guys still light up the lines, huh? I’m in a good mood after my confession, so I guess I can answer one ~ Caller number nine, what’s up?”

“Oh, my God, this is so cute!” A voice gushed over the phone. “How is _____? Are you two a thing?”

Chan sighed deeply. “That’s a tough question to answer, my love. I’m not too sure how they’re doing. But I hope they’re doing better than I am.”

For the rest of the evening, you listened to Chan’s solo show that consisted of only your playlist songs and long talks to callers about relationship advice. He got so caught up with his callers and the show that it went on for an extra hour longer, though you wished it went on even longer. You could never get tired of hearing his voice.

“Alright guys, no more calls this time, I mean it. I can’t believe I extended a whole hour with you all. It felt like ten minutes! Thank you all for the kind words and I hope mine help you, too, even just a little. I have some matters to attend to tonight, so this is CB telling you all good night and to stay safe always. This is 3RACHA Radio, signing off.”

After turning off your radio, you contemplated and paced around your room with your phone on the table for almost an hour on whether you should call Chan or not. Well, to be honest, it was more like you had already decided you wanted to call him, but what would you say? You felt so stupid being so mad at him from the party when you didn’t even let him explain, and who knows if he’d even want to see you anymore -

A knock came at your door and interrupted your thoughts. It was probably Minho wanting to eat after studying.

But when you opened your door, you didn’t expect to see a bashful Chan hiding the same bouquet of flowers behind his back.

“Hey,” he greeted shyly.

“Hi,” you said back, unable to hide your growing smile. You couldn’t be more happy to see him. “Come in.”

“Thanks."

It was an awkward couple of minutes because you two haven’t spoken or seen each other since that night. After handing you the flowers, Chan watched you eagerly put them in a vase with water and thought how you must have been happy to see him if you were smiling this much.

“Did you listen to the show tonight?” he asked.

“I did. You made me a playlist?”

“I finished your playlist,” he corrected. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. Can I have it?”

“Y-Yeah, here,” he handed you a usb drive and you immediately plugged it into your laptop and pressed play, wanting to listen to the whole thing all over again.

“_____, I really like you,” Chan said, not wasting any time. “I like you so much.”

Immediately, you replied, “I like you, too.”

“Really? Do you forgive me?”

“Of course I do, I just... I was scared, you know? How was I supposed to compete with someone like her? Or anyone else?”

“There’s no competition if you already won,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. He planted a kiss on your forehead, a feeling that you’ve missed so dearly.

“Mm, I missed you.”

“I missed you more. Always more.”

“Are you staying?” you asked.

“If you’ll have me.”

“Of course I will. Let me make fun of you for the song choices.”

“Ok, but don’t get too mean, I’m sensitive.”

#straykidznet #sk-writersnet #chan #bang chan #skz #stray kids #skz chan #stray kids chan #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #radio au #college au #ugh finally skndakjdnja i finished it asbjabd #don't judge the fic on the playlist LMAO PLS #IT'S EVERYWHERE I KNOW LOL

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shattered-catalyst · 5 years

Text

So this isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it.

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it.

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period. It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients. During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*. She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything.

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry, and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life.

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning.

I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are.

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

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spooky-scary-imagines · 5 years

Note

poly Billy Loomis and Stu macher and their s/o scenario. string of fate leads them to their s/o and it turns out that both of their strings lead to one person😊 hope that makes sense

((I listened to the Peaches entire discography while writing this and I feel like it shows lol. When you say “string of fate”, I assume this is like a soulmate AU? Didn’t think to ask till I was halfway through writing it. I apologize in advance if I misunderstood. Also, the way this is requested this seems like more of a V than a triad poly relationship so that’s how I wrote it, Billy and Stu are still platonic soulmates though cause they’re the dynamic duo. Also, spot the movie reference(s)!

Poly Billy Loomis + Stu Macher Soulmate AU s/o:

Everyone always told them they would find their soulmates eventually. That they just needed to wait. However, for Billy and Stu there was always some doubt that they ever really could have soulmates. Sure, they had their strings, just like nearly everyone else, but it impossible that anyone could ever really understand them the way they understood each other. To them, while a soulmate would be nice, they at least talked like a soulmate was just an extra liability.

It was 8th grade and Billy and Stu were having one of their regular sleepover/movie-nights when Stu awkwardly broached the topic. “Hey Billy?”

The other looked up from the on-screen mutilation, “Yeah?”

“Do you ever, er, think about your string?”

Billy raised an eyebrow “What do you mean?”

“Well, I dunno. Just what your soulmate’s like. Or what you’ll do when you meet them?”

“Not really,” Billy admitted, “If they’re my soulmate they can’t be too bad right? And I guess it all depends on how we meet.”

Stu giggled, “That’s a pretty chill way to look at it.” He paused for a moment, “Hey…no matter what happens with our soulmates…we’ll still be friends right?”

Billy looked over at his friend, who was looking to him for reassurance. He was always like this, wanting Billy’s attention and encouragement, especially when he was doing something he knew would get him in trouble. Billy grinned, “Of course dude. No matter what.”

It was a perfectly normal job. Everything was going according to plan as Billy and Stu hid outside your house, while you sat unaware in your living room.

“They’re kinda cute,” Stu whispered to his accomplice.

“Focus jackass. I need you at the other door.”

“Alright alright. Yeesh.”

As Stu walked away, Billy turned back to watch you through your window. Stu was right, you were pretty cute. Shame you were going to die. He chuckled a little bit as he thought about the poor person who was gonna wake up with an unraveled sting tomorrow with no clue why. Speaking of, what the hell was going on with your string? It seemed to be split down the middle, going opposite directions. Did that mean you had two soulmates? He’d never seen something like that before. Still, it didn’t make a difference. He began to dial your number.

You were watching some old, campy horror movie on cable with a bowl of popcorn when the phone rang. You picked it up but saw no caller ID, “Hello?”

“Hey…who is this?”

“It’s (Y/N), and who are you?”

“Sorry, must have been a wrong number.”

“Guess so, well, bye-”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“What are you up to?”

Whoever this was, they weren’t jacking off and calling for Agnes, so you decided maybe he wasn’t a complete creep, and to humor him a bit. “Nothing much…just watching a movie.”

“Oh yeah… what kind?”

You looked over at the TV as some guy put glowstick fluid in some butt-naked corpse. “Horror.”

The person on the other end of the line giggled, “Oh yeah? You like scary movies?”

Rolling your eyes, you figured you should try going along with this, “Oh yeah. I love them.”

“What’s your favorite horror movie?”

With a complete deadpan voice, “Gingerdead Man.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end, “The one with Gary Busey? What the fuck?”

You laughed at the dumbfoundedness in the guy’s voice, “I’m just messing with you dude. I can’t choose just one. I guess I like Friday the 13th.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one…Hey, let’s play a game.”

“Oh yeah…What kind of game?”

“A guessing game. It’ll be about horror…since you like it so much-”

“Well, I don’t know how good I��d be at trivia.”

“You’ll do fine…After all, your life is on the line.”

Your blood ran cold as it drained from your face, “Wha-What did you say?”

“I’m gonna ask you questions and if you win, you get to live. If you don’t get enough right, you get to watch as I disembowel you and string you up by your own intestines.”

You were surprisingly good, you even managed to remain a semblance of calm even when you missed a question. Stu admittedly was throwing you softball questions that most people could get. But it was still impressive. However, he could tell Billy was getting tired of messing with you, and even he was excited to get to the main event. “Final question,” he heard Billy say through his phone. “Get this one right, you live. Get it wrong, well…y’know.”

“Just tell me the question!” you yelled into the phone.

“Which door am I at right now?”

“Wh-What?”

“There are two main doors to your house,” Stu added, “Which am I closest to?” This part always felt a little unfair to Stu, and it made him laugh. Him and Billy stood in front of one exit each, so no matter what you choose, you’re wrong, which means you have to die. Those are the rules of the game.

He’s not even really listening to your response as he creeps his way into your home. He hides in the doorway, knife poised. He hears Billy say, “Wrong answer…” and a vase smash on the other side of the house, his signal to move in. He stalked you from behind as you went to investigate, holding a kitchen knife in your trembling hand. He thought it was so cute, if a little pitiful. You eventually must have found Billy because you turn and ran the other way…right into him. Your eyes went wide with terror, as you shoved him and ran away again, right to where Billy was waiting.

Eventually, they managed to corner you in your living room. Stu was just about to lunge for you when he heard Billy cry out, “Wait!”

Stu looked at his partner, confused, “What is it?”

“Look at their strings dumbass.”

You and Stu looked down in near unison at your strings. You two followed them to see that both Billy and Stu’s strings connected to your’s. You looked up in horror at the two masked killers in front of you-your soulmates. “Please. Please don’t kill me.” The two masked figurers looked at each other for a second, then back to you.

A giggle came from the man on the right, “Why would we kill you? We’re soulmates…aren’t we?”

The other man spoke up, “This is just my fucking luck. We kinda have to kill them now though. Soulmate or not…no witnesses remember?”

You whipped your head to the one who had just spoken, “Nonononono, you don’t have to kill me! I won’t say anything, I swear! I-”

The taller, more cheerful one interjected, “They’re right. Look at them. They won’t be any trouble! Right, cutie?”

This guy seemed like he was going to be your only way out, “R-right! I promise. I’ll-I’ll be good!” The taller one pulled up his mask to reveal an impish, handsome face that looked about your age and a wicked grin, “Just wanted to get a better look at you.”

“Well since you already blew our god damn identities, I might as well unmask too,” the other man growled, yanking off his mask. He looked like a slightly older “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”-Era Johnny Depp, but a broody frown marred his handsome features.

“Oh man! We never introduced ourselves,” you decided not to mention that the reason for that was their attempted murder, “I’m Stu and that guy is Billy.”

“Um, nice to meet you…”

“Yeah,” Stu spoke again, “So, er, what do we do now?”

“They’re going to have to stay with us,” Billy interjected, looking at you with suspicion. “At least so we can keep an eye on them.”

Stu nodded, “That sounds fair. Is that alright with you (Y/N)?”

There was only one right answer to this question, and your life was clearly on the line. And, well, if you forgot that these two had just tried to kill you, they didn’t seem terrible. They were your soulmates. That has to count for something! You nodded and Stu grinned. Billy simply rolled his eyes, “Just don’t try anything stupid or we will kill you.”

Stu just slung his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, “Good thing that won’t happen.” He noticed your look of unease and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t be so nervous,” he leaned down closer to your ear, “Me and Billy are real good at sharing.”

What were you getting yourself into?

#billy loomis #stu macher #scream #slasher imagines #slasher

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ameliascorsones-blog · 5 years

Text

Permanent December ▸ chapter two.

a/n: this chapter jumps three years to where the story is currently set. Honestly, this is a little choppy because I started it a few days ago, and finished it this morning, so I apologize for that. Even if things seem smooth sailing right now, it wouldn’t be a good story if things were completely unproblematic, now would it? This is the last chapter to come out before the heart breaking episode airs, so I hope you guys enjoy, another should be out next week, or maybe on the weekend, we’ll see! Let me know what you think!

----------------------

Three years later;

May 6th, 2022

“Hi, this is Amelia Shepherd.. may I ask who’s calling?”

Of course she didn’t check the caller ID, but she hadn’t when the two of them were together, so who was Owen to be surprised? He didn’t even have it in him to be surprised because he knew that he was guaranteed to get an earful in about two minutes anyways so he wasn’t going to be angry about it now, plus she seemed like she was sleeping just a moment before, anyhow. Who was he to harp on what she did when he had Leo for the week. It wasn’t like they were together, and even if they were, he still wouldn’t test it. Still though as he paced the hospital lobby, the strawberry blonde surgeon rolled his eyes. Most people would blame it on frustration but he couldn’t pretend like Amelia’s tiny habits that he still loved didn’t piss him off.

“Can you come down to Grey Sloan? It’s Leo, Carla took him to the park and I guess she let him do the money bars on his own and he..”

Instantly she was sitting up and tossing the covers off, her jaw clenching just like it had that night three years ago, when he’d been on her absolute last nerve just like he was now. “Owen! What the hell, I told you a million times I don’t want your girlfriend around my kid alone! Are you deaf or something? I mean, I give you one rule, and you can’t even follow that! Plus what kind of teenybopper idiot lets a four year old do the monkey bars by himself!” With one hand she balanced the phone, the other working on getting jeans past her hips. “You know I can’t stand her, she was probably on her phone, group chatting with one of her stupid little friends.”

“You don’t group chat with one per —-”

“I don’t care what you do and who you do it with!” Pressing speaker, the doctor tossed her phone down on the bed and tried to blink away tears that had gathered in the corner of her eyes, she couldn’t lose Leo too, not after Betty. Sure, he probably had a sprained wrist, a concussion at best but she was freaking, the therapy that she’d been taking so didn’t prepare her for this. T-shirt tossed to the floor, Amelia grabbed for another one in her clean laundry and took a deep breath. In and out, out and in.

“Are you breathing?”

“No, Owen.. I’m dead.” Yet she couldn’t help the slight smile on her face at his caring words. She didn’t deserve it, not after all that she’d put in through all those months ago after Betty’s passing, but he’d been there for her always. Sure, at first there’d been bitter feelings, but now they were friends, or something of the sort at least and for that she was glad. Running fingers through her tangled hair, she sighed. Good enough, after all it wasn’t like she was going to a pageant or anything. “Is he okay? Where is he?”

“He’s with Alex, they’re picking a cast color for his arm, but I know that he wants you..”

Keys in hand, Amelia struggled through the lump in her throat as she slipped on her sneakers, grabbed her bag and slipped out the door. Only a broken arm, that wasn’t so bad, right? Still though, it seemed the second that she addressed her anxiety in that therapists office a year ago, everything was so terrifying with Leo, with anyone that she cared about but maybe it always had been and it just hadn’t been on the surface until now. Everyone seemed to recommend anxiety meds, something for her depression but she couldn’t take those, wouldn’t. They’d become addictive and that wasn’t something that she needed to happen, she’d been doing so good with everything and she wasn’t about to risk it now. So instead she relied on the people around her, anything to help. “Will you wait for me at the front doors?”

With an agreement in place, the brunette hung up and made her way.

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Short drive and twenty minutes later, the two parents were leading a brave boy from the hospital. They’d planned to have Leo go back home with Owen since it was his week and he’d made a promise of not letting dumbass Carla alone with their son, yet suddenly Leo paused causing the two parents to stop walking. “I’m hungry, mama.” Here it came, sometimes when the three were together Leo tried his hardest to get them to spend time together, and with a shared look, Owen and Amelia both sighed. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to spend time together for Leo, but it was hard. Even if they couldn’t figure out why that was when everyone else clearly could ; they still loved each other, boyfriends and girlfriends and everything else aside.

“What about breakfast, huh? I’m kind of hungry too, babe,” and even though she was tired, wanted to go home and sleep, the doctor pasted on the brightest smile that she could just for her son.

“Can we makes waffles? Please, mama? Daddy doesn’t make them good.”

It hadn’t really been in her plans to go to that house, the one that she’d left all that time ago. Amelia figured that they’d eat out and she could go home. She hadn’t actually stayed for longer than a few moments when it came to drop offs but one look at Owens encouraging smile, and the brunette nodded her head. If they were gonna hang out, why not go all in, right? “I don’t see why not, since you were so brave this morning.”

It only took a moment for the little boy to grin just like Betty and tug tightly on Amelias hand toward Owens car. Instead of saying something though, like that she should probably take her own car, the brunette let him lead her only stopping for traffic before she buckled him into his carseat after Owen unlocked the door.

“Are you sure about this?” His voice rang into the chilly air, and she did her best to smile just as he had a few moments before as she nodded her head.

“Of course, what could go wrong? Now unlock my door before I freeze my ass off.”

————————————

Frankly, more could go wrong than Amelia’d originally thought because on the way back to what Amelia had once called her very own dream house, Leo passed out in the backseat, giving into the stress from the morning and refusing to wake up when they’d brought him inside. Amelia didn’t want to leave right away either because that would involve waking him up to get him in the car again and so here they were, staring at each other from opposite sides of the couch, the silence causing Amelia’s ears to ring before she opened her mouth to break it.

“Where’s Carla?”

“Uh, maybe at her place, I’m not really sure.. we got in a fight this morning after the whole park thing. You were right, she was on her phone.. I’m not even sure why she wanted to take him in the first place.”

Amelia’s jaw set and then she unclenched a moment later. She couldn’t be mad at Owen, especially if he was pissed off too, but she couldn’t help the fact that she was frustrated nonetheless. “She wanted to impress you, probably. I mean, who wouldn’t? You’re a great man.. She just didn’t realize what kind of challenge she was taking on.” Sure, Amelia was mad, but there had to be something good about the blonde bombshell if Owen liked her, right?

“She just doesn’t pay attention to him ever, the other day I went to get his jacket so that he could go outside. I was gone for maybe a minute tops and she let him go out with no socks, shoes or jacket.” He took a breath and examined the brunette across from him for a moment, the way her eyes rolled, and then settled because she was trying not to say anything too terrible about the woman who took up the other half of his bed on a good day. “Maybe you were right in saying she’s spacey.” It took him a minute and then he gave her the gentlest of smiles because she looked exhausted, almost as tired as Leo had earlier that morning with tears streaming down his face as he clutched his arm. “You should rest, Mia..”

“I said she was a dumb bitch, there’s a difference..” the brunette corrected teasingly. Eyes met his, and Amelia couldn’t help but nod. She was tired, and she’d felt kind of off for the past couple like she was coming down with something. “Hmm, maybe just for a minute and then I’ll get up and make Leo his waffles,” without even thinking about it, Amelia moved closer to her ex, tugging the blanket off the back of the couch as she did. Head resting on his shoulder, Amelia covered herself as her eyes closed.

“ ’s this okay?”

Maybe it wasn’t the best choice to snuggle with your ex who had a girlfriend well your son was sleeping off his pain, in his room but she wasn’t all there or at least that’s what she’d blame it on if she was questioned.

“It’s okay,” and really it was more okay than she’d ever know. Pressing the gentlest of kisses to the top of her head, Owen wrapped his around her without even thinking. They were all three tired, at least that’s what he’d tell himself if anyone caught them like this.

And much to his dismay someone would.

#permanentdecember #omelia #omeliafics #amelia shepherd #owen hunt

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