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chemistryread · 2 years

Text

disclaimers/tags: female oc. written as a reader insert but reader has a lot of backstory. slowburn. angst. implied domestic violence. minors dni.

a/n: some rash decisions on this one, get ready! if you love angst as much as me, this can be read as the ending, but there’s another chapter coming :) also very sorry at how long this post is, but i really wanted to make this story 4 chapters so ! anyways, enjoy and thanks all of u who have liked, rbed or commented in some way 🫶

right cowboy, wrong time

rhett abbott

part 1

part 2

summary: you’re not home and your boyfriend’s a dick. thankfully, not all cowboys are bad.

"Did you sleep with someone else?"

"Did you?"

That was basically it.

(There was a lot of screaming and attempted emotional blackmailing you don’t bring up. What would be the point?)

You're retelling the events to Dani, working side by side with her.

A kid had joined the staff, and since he's still in school he needs the night shift. Now, you're bumped back to mornings alongside your friend. Things are looking up.

"I can't believe it was solved with one non-violent conversation."

She's actively ignoring the marks in your arms but you take her selective blindness as good-spirited. Focus on the good.

With that in mind, you don't mention how close you got to apologizing and taking it back when he questioned your ability to be alone. Saying you'd only fall on hard times once more and return to him for help. But...you were alone before him, and you were okay before him. It will work.

"I know. I mean, I'm not at all under the impression that he’s not planning some sort of revenge, mulling it over. He'll still be around for another two weeks. And we can't pretend that didn't play a huge part into how well he took it."

"Took it. Right." She laughs, handing you the clean menus to set on the counter. "Be honest. He was aware that this was the only way to do it without exhibiting lack of power. Like it was beyond anyone's control."

During your conversation, it was made clear that he did not yield, you agreed it was unsalvageable. Stupid to keep trying. And he wasn’t stupid. Dani’s right.

"Hey, I'm not disagreeing. Or complaining."

Her smile falters and you frown.

"I have to say, though, I was convinced you would not fall for him."

She shoves the pen and paper in your hands, along with three menus, and spins you around towards the tables.

If it isn't the little Abbotts and Amelia. Just your luck.

You do not regret it. At all. It would be spoiled of you to.

However, it obviously soured things between you and Rhett. Which is precisely what you did not want.

You meant it, when you said you didn't want to be one of his girls. In a way. You would either take him (yes, take him) out on a date and do the whole process with an open heart, or shut him out and remain nothing but the friendly waitress until you left for home and never saw him again.

The way things are right now, you can't possibly do either with an honest face.

And honesty is a huge thing for you. The motivator behind admitting to being unfaithful that night, putting yourself in a risky situation in front of your boyfriend. Ex.

Amy's smile when she sees you approach the table helps you believe in the good things again, even if only for a couple of minutes.

"Yes! I told my dad, if any of the other girls tried to serve us, I was gonna fake cry until we got you."

Rhett avoids you, taking a coin left as part of the tip from the previous seaters and flipping it between his fingers.

You wink at her and point your pen to Perry, before clicking it. "You're raising her right. What can I, and only I, get you guys?"

His cap is not wide enough to hide the circles under his eyes, and he orders a standard hangover breakfast. You exchange shy nods, but it's not confident.

Amelia’s next.

"And if I could have that with a side of that story your stupid boyfriend didn't want to read, please?"

Your jaw hangs open. She's a rockstar.

"Amy, she said no once, don't push it."

She glares at her uncle.

Perry adds, “And don't call people stupid."

"But he was! Stupid and rude."

Your giggle draws the table's eyes.

"No, he was. About time we broke up."

Her dad looks impressed, like he thought he would never see the day. It bothers you a little. You don't have the guts to look at Rhett, even if you can feel his eyes on you.

"Really?" She asks excited, and you nod. "Cool! So you can marry my dad or uncle Rhett and then you'll be in the family forever."

"Jesus."

"Amy!"

You laugh again. These men do not appreciate her humour and it's kind of sad.

"I'm too young to get married, kid! I'm not a child bride." It flies over her head but Perry laughs. You'll win him over someday. "About the story, I'm afraid I got rid of that one, it wasn't good. But when I start working on something new I'll ask you for help, deal?"

She nods with tight lips, silky straight hair shaking down her shoulders.

"Good. I'll be right back with your food."

It’s a busy morning, so they had no choice but to sit at an unclean table. You’re retrieving the plates, stacking them up against your left arm and shoving the bills into your apron’s pocket. That’s when Rhett taps the coin on the table three times, startling you.

Your eyes snap to his. Unreadable. Pupils large, deep blue flooding your insides. Nearly choking on it. He offers you the coin, you open your palm, and he drops it. All whilst maintaining eye contact. Honestly, you feared breaking it, as if the second you did your memories of each other would be erased. He doesn’t look away. Your eyebrows furrow, blinking a couple of times, clearing your throat and walking away with a weak step.

Dani mouths, what the fuck?

Your best guess is none, shrugging and taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

They eat peacefully, and you suspect Amelia got a talking to from her father because she sticks to polite smiles when you serve them.

They leave as you take another family's order. Back at the counter, Danielle kicks you in the calf.

"What?"

Your coworker simply nods to the back. The butterflies in your stomach can only mean one person.

Stubbornly, you fight off the urge to fix yourself or take in your reflection off the windows before stepping outside to meet Rhett.

He looks cuddly in a hoodie.

"What are you smiling at?"

Hearing his mumbled teasing is like being lift straight out of hell and into heaven.

"What do you want?"

"Asked you first."

You bite the inside of your cheek, hands clasped behind your back, playing with your rings. Hiding your nerves from him.

"Cool hoodie you got on."

"Fuck off."

You two burst into outright gross, happy giggles.

"So?"

"Were you gonna tell me you broke up?"

Your answer is fire rapid, delighting in petty revenge. "No. It's not like I'm running away with you."

He tsks once, hit.

"Right. But if you'd like to-"

"Don't." No, don't look at me like that. "I can't. Not yet."

He takes a deep breath, as if entirely too used to your bullshit, and steps closer. You let him.

"Explain."

"Yes, well, one of his ventures sailed off in Montana. He's going to move there for a while. But not yet." He looks too hopeful, and the full story scratches up your throat. "He knows I slept with someone."

A more somber expression, but he still doesn't get it. Briefly, you wonder if 'sleeping with' was too formal for what you actually did together.

"He doesn't know it's you." Your arms fall back to your sides, nails digging into your palms. "If he finds out-"

"I can handle him. Trust me."

"Look, hotshot, it's not about that. Sure, he'd probably threaten to punch any other guy who had his way with me. But one of you? And it's not like you took advantage of me, I chose you. I- I seeked you out. I wanted you. That's a whole other…I've seen what he can do when he's actually mad. When he loses. He'll want to fucking kill you."

"He's not that dangerous. You're being ridiculous."

"Hey, don't tell me I'm being ridiculous when I have suffered in his hands." He doesn't say anything to that. "Just get this through your proud little thick skull…If he hurts you because of me, it'll hate myself. Spare me, okay?"

His features soften at your confession. You wish he would simply accept circumstances for his own well-being, but if he won't, you'll appeal to his sensitive side.

"When does he leave?"

"Two weeks. I'm moving in with Dani tonight."

You didn't protest when she offered the extra room at her place, wanting out of that house before his brothers could give you a piece of their minds.

Rhett squints at the sun, hands on his hips, worn gloves poking out of his pant's pockets. He looks so much younger in the green cap and a plain gray hoodie.

"I can wait two weeks."

You want to run up to him, kiss the breakfast grease off his lips until Danielle calls you back inside to help her, run your fingers through his hair, feel the fabric tasked with warming him up.

Instead, scared he doesn't want any of that, you roll your eyes amusedly and run up the steps. You should set a calendar reminder for two weeks from now.

——————————

Thirteen days. He leaves tomorrow, finally.

In the meantime, he uncharacteristically leaves you alone. It's a very peaceful time in your life.

Rhett comes to the diner from time to time. You bump into each other at the shop and he ends up helping you put away the groceries at Danielle's, where he sees the begonias in a vase by the window. He relocates them to a better spot.

He learns more about your university and you about his family.

You put that knowledge to test one afternoon, when he comes by during your break and asks if you want to have lunch at his house. Royal eats very little and quickly returns to work, just as you had been told he would. Amy skipped school because she woke up particularly down and missing her mother (probably why Rhett thought of inviting you), therefore Perry eats even less but spends more time at the table, just looking at his daughter. You feel for him, really.

Cecilia is the one who suggests you go rest under the shade while Perry helps her clean up. You get the sense his mood is entirely affected by his daughter's, so mother and son need a moment to talk.

Amelia sits between you and Rhett, all three quietly eating fresh strawberries.

"Grandpa did say somebody messed with them. They're not as good."

You disagree. They taste pretty delicious for you, who's in the midst of licking the juice off your lips, satisfied.

But you know what she means, unfortunately. So you purposefully avoid Rhett's eyes, leaning back against the tree trunk and guiltly keeping your mouth shut.

He assured you this has happened for as long as he remembers being neighbors with your ex and his brothers.

Trying to dissipate the tension in the air, you poke Amy on the side.

"I've been writing something. Wanna read it?"

She almost drools when she smiles, shoving the open jar on her uncle's stomach and getting him sticky with splashed strawberry juice.

Reaching for your phone, you remember something.

"Oh, I bought a really pretty vase to put the even prettier flowers you got me, look!"

Rhett sits up awkwardly beside his niece as you show her a picture of the golden hour sunlight shining on the pink begonias.

"I didn't get you any flowers." She matches your confused expression. "I've been told off by grandma way too many times from messing around in her garden to do it again. But it does look really pretty."

Rhett's cheeks are burning red, and your stomach is doing flips.

Completely lost for words, you switch from the photos app to a Google drive document and hand the little girl your phone with tremendous trust. Kids are brutally honest.

"Here. It's, uhm, a horror short."

She picks it up with toddler-like grabby hands and sits back to enjoy it like it's a new young adult best seller.

Your eyes are still on the boy next to her, who's holding your gaze in an electric back and forth.

"Can I read it?"

"No."

After devouring four-thousand words, Amelia runs back to the house, shaking your phone at her dad's face, practically bragging that you let her read something of yours. Her first impression is pretty positive, if not over-the-top, and she tells you she'll write down her ideas and 'get back to you'.

Everyone chuckles when you shake her hand as if this was a business meeting. Her being the big publishing agent, of course.

Cecilia makes a comment about rushing back home, there being a lot of work to be done, when you gather your stuff so Rhett can drive you back to the diner. You simply smile at her.

You're biting your tongue, busying yourself with lowering the passenger side's window, but Rhett's getting a little too good at reading you.

"Speak now or-"

"I'm not dumb, you don't have to protect me." He laughs, unphased by your random instances of snappiness. "Of course it has something to do with me, Rhett. You think people don't talk?"

"We're not even doing anything."

"But there's a 'we', that's enough to create gossip. And I told him I had been with someone. The fight at the bar, the 4th when you knocked on his door holding my coat…You really think he hasn't put everything together?"

He's quiet. Rhett is not stupid, what he is is inconsequential. He thinks everything will always be ok.

"We have fought over girls before, it's always been like this."

It stings, to be put in such a common role in his life.

"Well," He turns his head your way, hearing how your voice wavers, and you cross your arms defensively. "I'm glad they didn't worry like I do, but I do. Your family has nothing to do with this. Your dad shouldn't have this put on his plate too."

"He'll be fine, trust me, he likes the work. He lives for it. Always has, since we were little boys. He's fine."

You just don't want your ex-boyfriend and his brothers taking things too far.

"I think your mother doesn't like me anymore."

He cackles and you pout. Of course you sound silly, you know that. But maybe this is what it's all about. His family are good people. You don't want good people to dislike you, or go through anything bad because of you.

It's not their fault you cling to those who seem nice and helpful. Sometimes you forget yourself. That you have been and can be alone. Being single is a great moment to capitalize on your independence, accept it. At least that way you won’t take anyone down with you.

Fingers snapping pull you out of your self-reproach.

"Don't…Don't spiral over what she said, alright? She just wants me to stick to the work, be responsible and stuff. Not wander off."

"Maybe you should."

Blue eyes search yours for a sign that you're kidding. Infuriating that you can't trust yourself not to breakdown around Rhett, you look straight ahead. One block away from the diner.

Your body is free of the seatbelt before the light can turn green again. "I can get out here, it's fine."

He doesn't move, and you stare at each other for what feels like minutes. Then he swallows, looks down, and unlocks the doors.

You hop out, carefully stepping around the car and onto the sidewalk. He calls out your name and a shiver runs down your spine, both because of how heartbreakingly confused he sounds and because you're scared one of your ex-boyfriend's brothers or friends just heard Rhett Abbott yell for you from his truck.

Turning around, you glance up and down the street, sighing in relief when everyone seems to continue their lives without noticing you two. You want to say sorry for being weird, for not being a better liar or knowing how to mask your feelings. But it would serve you more than him, at this point.

Instead, you step up to his window, hand closing around his own that is hanging halfway out and squeezing it.

All you say is, "Thank you."

——————————

You're a mess all day.

Spilled drinks, dropped knives and even a broken glass.

Danielle has to pull you out of your own head every five minutes, she's exhausted by the end of your shift.

You felt childish, telling her boy gossip at work. Ridiculous even, since she scrunches her nose when reminded the boy is Rhett Abbott.

Nothing against him, per se, he was just always such a predictable choice in high school, she had said. Good heart, though.

She ruthlessly mocks your insecurities but dutifully listens to your ramblings. Your worries about harming his family, moving on too fast, disappointing Amelia.

A wet dishcloth fight starts in the kitchen when she suggests you're in a little deeper than you had assumed. You hit her right across the stomach before she can profess the term 'in love'.

Because no, you refuse. He's a good boy, and you are attracted to him. You like him, obviously. Too obvious to deny. But you have to hold back.

Actually, until tomorrow. Perhaps that's why you're freaking out. When your ex leaves, everything becomes more real between you and Rhett. Or it's allowed to. It's your choice.

Dani and you are handing the night shift waiters your aprons when your phone pings.

"When was your last fun Saturday night? We're at the same bar as always. Danielles welcome. First rounds on us"

Somewhere in your texts - texting Rhett all day long at work was starting to get on Lenny's nerves, you should watch out - you had mentioned it was bound to be a girl's night at home, since Shiree was staying at a friend's for the night.

It's her first time too, so you had imagined pizza and wine to be a good way to keep Dani's heart at ease. But this could work too.

You show her the text, and she immediately smiles. You know it's been a while.

Eighteen. That's how old you were the last time you got to dress up as a single woman for a night out.

You're aware this isn't Boston, however. Tricking an entitled Harvard Law alumni into paying for your drinks is not up for grabs tonight, so you don't go too overboard. Still, Dani is a little speechless when she comes out of the shower. Right back at her, honestly (even though she definitely looks local and you don't).

Danielle drives to the bar, and you're already having a great time critiquing her stiff driving, begging her to relax.

"Wait, Perry's not thinking that we…"

"No, I don't think so."

"Good, makes things less awkward when you and his little brother make your eventual escape."

"That's not going to happen." She looks at you like she really doesn't believe that. You point two other trucks in the parking lot, owned by your ex and his brothers. "Even if I wanted to, it's not a good idea."

"Shit, I'm sorry. Do you want to leave? We can still get pizza."

You smile at her, sincere. You'll miss her so much.

"It's fine, I figured. It's his last day. Hopefully, we will all stay on different sides of the room and he will be enjoying his going-away party too much to care about lil' old me."

Perry's hand comes up as soon as you step inside.

Both of them do a doubletake of your outfit, lingering on the bright red cliché cowboy boots, but you decide to pretend you don't feel their eyes on your bare legs. Rhett gets up to greet you (you honestly didn't expect him to) and your words slip out before you can contain them.

"You smell good." He laughs, and Dani groans a playful 'oh my God' behind you. He's pink. You pat him in the shoulder with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry."

"I'll get another round."

Perry gets up to greet you as well and struts to the bar.

Rhett finds it strange when you take the seat across from him, instead of by his side, but you decide to stick to a good behaviour tonight.

The four of you fall easily into conversation. It's nice when they speak about their school memories and you get to listen, watch them remember and cringe at their old selves.

Your legs are stretched under the table, incidentally in between Rhett's spread legs. He gives you a small kick whenever he catches you looking over the divider to guarantee your ex is not searching for you. So far, so breezy. It's weird.

The other two drink faster, which is why, you assume, Dani jumped at the opportunity to dance with an old flame the minute he recognized her. Perry went to the bathroom.

It's just you and him.

He looks mostly sober and his tanned skin is glowing nicely under the bar's scarce lighting. His hair looks especially droopy.

You smile at him sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask. The begonias. What was that about?"

"Oh, God. C'mon. Do you have to?"

The words push through gritted teeth, his entire body recoils in embarrassment.

You simply nod, leaning forward with a teasing grin.

When you do, your legs draw back, but not too much. He doesn't let them. His boots trap your ankles, dragging them forward, closer again.

Rhett’s pupils darken at the way you jump and you bite your cheeks so hard your dimples cave impossibly deep.

It'd be stupid not to take advantage of the moment. You blink slowly. "Please?"

Teeth trap his lower lip, but he quickly rolls his shoulders back.

"It was me. You figured that much." He looks at your for confirmation. Amelia wasn't subtle, and he was even less. "Why did I lie? Uhm, I- Shit, after you said you used to hang out with street racers, well, I felt like a loser giving you flowers from my mother's garden."

You laught at his face. Unabashedly. A nice surprise when he actually laughs along.

"Stupid, right?"

You love when he acts shy. Mousy.

"No. I never got flowers before. I would've liked knowing they were from you."

Your heart beats faster at how wide open this moment is. He did something no one has ever done for you, and you liked it. You liked that he did. And you just told him that.

"More than if they were from Amy?"

You can't look away from his eyes.

"Yes. But don't tell her that."

Perry scares the two of you by slapping the table. He's very much drunk.

"Your turn to get the drinks."

He points at Rhett, who hesitates before awkwardly smiling at you and sliding out of his seat.

The older Abbott is kind of all over the place, so you return his favor from many nights ago and look away, turning your attention to a very relaxed Danielle enjoying the dancefloor.

"I just talked to them in the toilet, you know." The brother finally directs his words at you. He must think you were looking for your ex's table. "They're not happy about this. At all. And they don't like when folks think they're idiots."

"I know. I don't mean to-"

"Yeah, you never do. But all of you who get obssessed with my little brother did not grow up here. You haven't dealt with- You don't know what these lands are like. Consequently, you don't understand the people. Who can blame you?"

You think obssessed is mean.

"I'm sorry, Perry."

"Appreciate that. Still should leave him alone. You've played with him long enough, don't you agree?"

You sip your beer. His eyes are looking past you, venting to no one in particular. Not personal.

"Right."

As a reflex, you look for Rhett. The reason why he is taking so long leaning next to him, making him stutter and laugh.

"Oh, yeah, and then there's that." Perry points the bottom of his beer at Maria. "Sixteen. The first time I saw him look at her like that, and he still does. Not a difference. My folks believe he'll marry her, if he ever gets the chance to."

"What are you saying, Perry?"

You're running out of patience. You never liked people who only spoke their true feelings when intoxicated, while you made an effort to be honest all the time. Well, guess you haven't been doing much of that here.

"Look, you're fine. But who are we kidding? You want big things, you go to a fancy school, you probably drink cocktails during happy hour."

You feel small when he laughs. His attention turns to his brother letting the beer sweat on the counter, transfixed on Maria talking. That's all she's doing, and he looks gone for. Her hand is on his shoulder and he's leaning into it.

"Bless him. He's never gonna leave. And he deserves to find love here, with a nice girl who knows what this place is about, how to deal with a guy like him. And with his family."

If you had eaten anything, it would be coming up.

Did you embarrass yourself with his mother, with Royal? Was there something in the story Amy read that was inappropriate? Did they make fun of you behind your back, at Sunday lunch?

A million thoughts swarm your brain.

"Shit, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry."

Perry laughs again, with his whole body, and it draws Rhett's attention from the bar. You look away.

"Don't worry about it."

His eyes widen, instant sobriety, seeing you stand up. Before Rhett can join you back at the table, you're fleeing to the bathroom.

When you reach the door, someone walks out of the men's. Your eyes meet, and your ex is the second guy to laugh at you in the span of sixty seconds.

A young girl leaves one of the stalls and lets you borrow her eyedrops, and in a record three minutes, you're walking to the table as if nothing happened.

Rhett is trying to convince Perry to finish the beer in front of him before getting another and Dani is nowhere to be seen.

You're happy for her, letting her hair down. Selfishly, you also think that if she were at the table she would see right through you and ask what's wrong, and you'd start crying all over again. These boys don't have the feeling for that sort of stuff. Good.

The youngest does search your face extensively, however, reaching for your hands under the table. You pull away, leaning your head on them.

You ask Perry about Amelia, a subject you know will make him go on for hours. Ten minutes in, Dani rejoins you with a bit of a flushed look. You smile at her and let the proud father continue.

With three other people there to react and respond, your mind takes the liberty to drag you out of the moment and consider what you've been told.

It isn't wrong.

You don't belong here. Maybe Rhett thinks you are his ticket out, but you don't want to take him away from his family. No, he doesn't want that either. He's better off with someone who, as said, knows this life. Their identity meshing with the dry air, blending in with the colorful streamers in the arena every weekend. Rolls with the punches, all the machismo, better. Can be happy with and despite.

Unfinished business waits for you in Boston. A life. Your life.

And Maria. You won't pretend to know her very well, but she seems liked wherever she goes. Fondly remembered and broadly welcomed. Nice, beautiful, educated and most of all familiar. Ran away from her hometown long enough to be interesting, returned in enough time to be seen as grateful. Prodigal daughter.

The way you have seen him look at her. Bask in her warmth.

It's a really sweet tale.

You think of how often you brought his peaceful mood down with your own paranoia. You took the prize he won to help yourself. How many times did he become anxious and upset when he was around you?

Standing in his way is the worst thing you can do to someone, a family who is kind.

You don't want him to think you were using him or to notice any changes (yet), so when Perry and Dani finish talking about their kids, you spark back to life to ask if anybody's hungry.

"It's early enough that we can still get that pizza."

The perfect comfort food. You nearly melt into her, the two of you holding hands and getting up. "Are you…?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

Rhett asks, and he seems apprehensive. Did you fail already?

Dani shoots you a weird, questioning look.

"I don- I don't know. Just asking."

Perry is still tipsy, heedless. "Want to ask Maria if she wants to come?"

Your hand is painfully squeezed by Dani, and you squeeze back to avoid any awkwardness.

"What?"

"Just saying."

They're standing nose to nose, and it's weird to watch.

You clear your throat, tugging Danielle forward. "We're going! Walking out the door now!"

It breaks your heart when Rhett jogs behind you, catching up and hugging you from behind, swinging your body to the side like he's going to pick you up. He notices your laugh is strained.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah-"

"Abbott!"

You should've made a more discreet exit.

"Yes?” His arms slip away from your form, turning towards your ex-boyfriend, and you enter a state of panic. “I'm all ears."

You almost move to pull him back before catching yourself. Filled by a weird feeling of deja vu. This is ridiculous.

"Did you think I wouldn't kick your ass on my last night?"

"Try me."

"Hey, don't touch-"

Big hands push Perry, and he stumbles back before you and Dani catch him.

Fed up, you place yourself in the line of sight of both men. Not exactly in between them, but close.

Rhett looks at you for a significant amount of time considering the tempers. It's a clear message. Go ahead, if you want, but I won't entertain it.

"Really, she's got you on a leash already? I have to hand it to ya, I never thought-"

You walk towards him, pulling on his arm for the last time, so you can talk. Eye to eye.

It's hard to say what the other three can hear. You're not whispering, but it's for you and him only.

"It's over. You and I are fucking free. Aren't you relieved? I am. And look at you-" You pat him on the chest, with a proud smile. "Big things in Montana. Lots to look forward to. And you're still stuck on this? Both of us are meant for greater things than this town and anyone in it. Let go."

Lying through your fucking teeth. This place has rotten you.

He smiles, hat casting a shadow over your eyes.

"See, I knew you never stopped being smart."

You return his grin. Sick.

"And you're smarter than your brothers. Tell them to stop messing with the Abbott land before you get a chunky lawsuit. It's not worth it."

Glossy eyes roll to the back of his head, hands on his hips. Doesn't admit it, but not arguing. You smile, self-satisfied.

"Have a good one."

Before you can walk away, he grabs your wrist. Rhett takes a step forward and Danielle tries to cuss him out but is scared of him too, and it dies in her throat.

"You know he's in love with the other girl, right?"

Two seconds ago, he was a big man ready to get physical. Now he's whispering in your ear, fighting dirty.

You sigh, and look straight into his eyes. Laying everything out for him, more than he deserves.

"I know."

He lets go of you, and you flash a last fake smile for him, before walking away.

"And you're okay with that?"

He yells. The others act as bystanders, trying to piece together your conversation.

"Don't worry." You exclaim already on your way to Dani's truck, loud enough for him to hear. "Didn't mean anything."

Readjusts his hat, shakes his head. Boisterous laugh. To Rhett, he says, “Another time. I feel sorry for you, now.”

You look past Rhett's puzzled face, shrugging. Your ex goes back inside.

"Can't believe that worked."

Dani comes up to you, tossing her keys into your hands. You grin. Smart woman.

"Pizza. Please." Perry mumbles like a sedated patient, Rhett helping him stay up.

"Try and keep up."

It's all you say before climbing behind the wheel, releasing a big exhale. Face muscles sore from the strain of forcing yourself to smile so many times in one conversation.

"Okay?" Dani caresses your arms. Smart fucking woman.

The taste in your mouth is revolting, stomach sinking as the words echo in your head. Sorry for him, what an asshole. And you propped him up to believe it, to say it to his face. Lying is taking a real toll on you.

"Will be."

Your emotions are behind your fast driving, as they have always been. Dani's tipsy fit of laughter is an added bonus to the experience.

Perry is just as delighted when you park.

"What the hell, woman?"

You clear the hair in your mouth, smiling wide at the brothers.

"Just showing off. Who's hungry? I'm starving."

Due to your recent change of plans, you have decided a night eating pizza with a group of nice people could be a good lasting memory.

No more overthinking and paranoia. For tonight.

They all look happier when you pretend everything's fine. (Rhett's smile is actually not reaching his eyes, and it concerns you over how much he heard, but you will not think about that tonight).

You'll leave when you're supposed to and they will recover very well.

——————————

The Abbotts come in for breakfast a few times. Even Royal.

Every time, you stash the tips they leave for you in Danielle's box.

You have enough money to go home, pay for your last year and support yourself until you find a job. Actually, you've had it for over a week.

It's hard to imagine leaving. Saying goodbye is terrible. You think about Amy. Part of you wants to pretend like you're way short just so you can stay a little longer.

To silence that part, you buy your ticket and call the university, arranging your schedule. There's a date. And a ridiculous cancel fee.

The following week is spent soaking up the familial nights with Dani and Shiree, watching Pixar movies and eating ice cream.

Giving Lenny a precocious Christmas present. An air freshener for his car, he kept mumbling about his husband asking for one but forgetting to buy it.

Visiting the Abbotts.

Cecilia and Royal appreciate the company of a new person not trying to steal, buy or camp on their land. You give Amy two of your favorite books, a horror novel and one on writing. She promises not to snitch on you.

Perry takes you on a horse walk and you forgive him. He has no recollection of telling you anything, instead, he talks about how much he loves his brother, wants the best for him. It eases your initial reaction that night.

Rhett asks for a date. Friday night. Drive-in movies. You have a whole argument about whether or not it should be official.

"If it's a racing movie, will you say yes?"

"Only if it's Tokyo Drift. I love Han."

(It isn't. It's Grease 2 for, what he says, the third time that year.)

He doesn't understand why you want to go 'as friends'. It's really hard, too, because you've secretly always dreamed about a small town drive-in date.

He gets the better of you.

You go, and hold hands, and he kisses you in his truck. You joke about the windows fogging up. He drops you off at Danielle's with another kiss. A proper goodbye, slow. Hands on your ass and wet noises that you hope the neighbors don't hear. (Danielle does and mocks you relentlessly.)

He invites you to have dinner with his family the next day. You leave on Tuesday morning.

You're washing the dishes while he dries them. Perry brings a sleepy Amelia in his arms to kiss you goodnight. She compliments your strawberry-patterned dress for the tenth time. Royal and Cecilia watch TV on the couch, nearly asleep themselves.

"I think he doesn't know how to tell you, but Perry likes having you around Amy. Like a big sister she never got."

The sponge slips out of your hands, thoughts of his brother's drunken words coming back to you. Actually, this is as good a segue as you're going to get.

"Mhm, I don't know."

"What?"

"I adore her, obviously. But I'm more like the young English teacher she apparently missed out on. Which is a real shame, those are important when you're growing up."

"Don't get a lot of young teachers around here."

He's watching you suspiciously as you hand him the last plate. Too used to your bullshit.

"I'm just saying, maybe I'm not the role model for a little girl like her. I have no family, no prospects, a regrettable love life. I'm an abandoned Bostonian, for crying out loud. Struggling to pay for school and a small apartment, for myself. Not really the poster child for a bright and respectable future in the western lands."

Rhett carries the dry plates back to the cupboard.

"I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that." Please, shut up. Don't be nice now, I'm trying to get at something. "You're just different from us. And, just 'cause she likes you doesn't mean she wants to be you."

You think about the writing book you gave her. What a hypocrite you are.

"Younger siblings tend to look up to the older." He smiles, as if you're personally attacking him. "Hey, you brought up the metaphorical sister stuff. I said teacher."

"So you're teaching her to be you?"

"No! I-" You groan and steal the cloth from his shoulder to slap him with. Folding it in your hand, you swallow your feelings to be able to muster your sentence. "All I mean is that, yes, she should have a good influence in her life that isn't related to her by blood. But it should be someone who is consistent, similar. Someone she can relate to but also trust. Possibly, someone she already knows. That all of you do."

You're struggling not to say her name.

"Are you or are you not talking about yourself?"

He's genuinely confused and you sigh into the folded dishtowel. "Nevermind."

The parents sleep soundly, leaning on each other. You think of how long they’ve been together, how much they’ve gone through. Still so supportive of each other and their family. It’s a nice reality you know nothing about.

Cautious not to wake the couple on the couch, you step carefully around the living room and pick up your discarded coat and purse. You're trying to quietly slip on your Vans when Rhett puts a hand behind your back to steady you.

"I was thinking you could stay."

Glad to have strong arms to hold onto, you nearly let yourself fall back into him, basking in the unapologetic seduction in his words. But you think of the disrespect of having sex while his family is sleeping, sneaking out of the room many girls have snuck out of before, just to move back home in three days.

"I really should go." You smile. "But I'm gonna need help walking in these to Dani's truck without falling on my ass."

He laughs. "Useless fuckin' shoes."

Light rain is still falling, rattling the leaves. It smells amazing. You see the dogs taking cover in the driveway.

You'll miss this so much.

The two of you walk like senior citizens, shuffling your feet to avoid an accident, to the car.

"Okay. Thanks."

You chuckle as he opens the door.

Quickly, you throw your stuff on the passenger seat and climb inside, very obviously avoiding saying a real, kiss-involving, goodbye to him.

He squints his eyes but opts for brushing it off, complimenting you instead.

"You look really pretty tonight."

Don't think about him saying it to her when you hand him over in a platter.

"Thank you. So do you."

You're smiling, but not moving to touch each other.

After a beat, he gives up.

"Alright, goodnight. Drive safe." He steps back, hands in his pockets. You think of a teenage Rhett saying goodbye to his dates. "Like a normal person would."

An awkward, disingenuous laugh. Turning the ignition. Calm before the storm.

"Night."

Your foot is on the pedal before you can regret everything. Before you can tell him that you're so sorry about leaving this way.

In the rearview mirror, you watch him wait until you're completely outside of the gate, then jog back inside.

The whole way home, you think you're going to cry. But you're empty. Resolute.

On Sunday, you ignore his calls, eventually texting him that you're busy with Danielle and you'll talk tomorrow.

It's all true.

Dani had been an unbelievable friend, so you figured she deserved to know that you were leaving before everyone else.

Truthfully, you expected a better reaction.

She had seen you save money, she knows you want to finish school and that if it weren't for her, you'd have nothing keeping you here. She pulls the full truth out of you and you agree that the Abbotts would be a reason to stay.

Except they aren't.

You tell her all about Perry's accidental revelation, the logic behind your sudden leave and why it is better this way.

"Don’t you think Perry would only say that if he was scared his brother is falling in love with you?"

You glared at her, then. Begging silently to not be encouraged in favor of optimism and romance.

"No. He made it clear he thought I was wasting his time, preventing him from being with the person he actually needs."

"Maria? They’ve had their chance and neither of them has ever done anything about it, that should say enough."

"Dani-"

"And, so what? Your feelings don’t matter, are not worth seeing through because he had a crush on the girl everyone had a crush on?"

Reinforcing how desired she is doesn’t help.

"Please. Stop."

It's safe to say she doesn't agree, and she calls you a moron a handful of times, but ultimately concedes when she sees you've made up your mind.

"I think you'll regret the way you're going about it. But I've also never seen you backtrack on a decision. For better or worse, we'll see."

She helps you pack and write your resignation letter, and you end the night watching another Pixar movie with Shiree and ice cream.

Your phone sits on the bedside table all day, untouched.

—————————

It's Monday, your last here.

Lenny is the most supportive, happy to hear you're going to finish school. He requests that you send graduation pictures, and it's a great idea.

You and Dani spend your entire shift attached to the hip as it's a slow day, talking about how she'll be miserable again at work and you will look for her in every diner you go to.

Like a storm to finish the day, a sweaty Amelia Abbott bursts through the doors. Did she run here?

"Is it true?"

"Amy, what are you-"

"Shiree said you're leaving tomorrow. Is it true?"

You look back at Danielle, who has an apologetic look on her face. Turning back to the little girl, you're ready to beg for forgiveness at the sight of her blue eyes filling up with tears.

"Oh, Amy, I was gonna say goodbye."

She turns and runs out of the diner. Danielle is already dialing Perry to let him know that he should drive past the school. Right after, she bolts out of the back door to go get her before she gets too far.

The heartbroken child sulks into her father's car, and you watch from the counter.

Dani comes back inside, walks past you into the lockeroom, and comes back again with her own keys.

"There's like an hour left."

"It's your last day, he won't even notice, go."

You sit there, picking your words, before starting the truck. For someone who calls herself a writer, you're often out of right things to say.

The quiet inside the house when you knock is daunting.

Perry opens the door, and he looks distressed, almost pleading for you to come in and explain.

Inside, Rhett is looking at you in disbelief.

"I was going to say goodbye, I promise."

"Can somebody, please, tell me what's going on?"

It's funny that Rhett, expert mutterer, is the one who understood what a crying Amelia was saying. Now, you can hear soft sobs from one of the rooms with the door closed.

"I'm going home tomorrow. Back to university. Quit today. I only told Danielle yesterday, but she told Shiree so she wouldn't have a shock and then she told Amelia at school."

The father looks unsurprised, which in turn surprises you.

You point to the closed bedroom door. "Can I try?"

He nods.

You sit down in front of the door, knocking first.

"Amy, it's me. I'm sorry. I was going to say goodbye. I'm sorry you found out this way, really." You breathe in. "Look, I have one year left. Remember when I showed you the campus pictures? I love that place. I love what I study. I want to be able to practice it. It's…who I am. I'm going after what I most want. We talked about doing things for ourselves, right? That's all this is, okay? My number stays the same, and you can send me any draft you write, anytime. Or questions your stubborn old English teachers don't want to answer. Any book report you need help with. I'm not too far away, Amy. It'll be fine."

Your eyes are closed, brows furrowed in hopes that she's actually listening instead of shoving her earbuds in like you used to when your foster parents tried to discipline you.

There's more that you wan't to promise her. That she can visit you, that you'll write letters to each other to practice, that you'll come see her. But that would make you too present in the Abbotts' life. You made sure she can reach out to you if she needs, and your communication will be direct. If you sent a letter, everyone at the house would be reminded of your existence. It's not what you're after.

There's no response, so you stand up, smoothing your clothes silently.

Rhett's chair screeches against the floor and he swings the front door wide open, stepping outside. It's your cue to follow. Perry stops you on the way to say he'll try and get Amy to come out and hug you goodbye, which you find oddly sympathetic.

You lean against the porch, watching him pace in front of you.

"I don't get it."

"C'mon. You funded part of my back to school campaign. Hardly a surprise that I'm going back to school, is it?"

"Don't be fucking sassy with me now."

You take a deep breath, preparing to fill the shoes of the asshole. It's deserving.

"Rhett-"

"What? How are you gonna defend this? Amy's heartbroken. Again. You think she likes to be left like this? Time after time. And with no warning. Swept off her feet."

You suspect he's not talking about his niece.

"I'm sorry."

"Sure, yeah." He finally stops pacing. You're standing in front of him, your hands clasped in front of your body, eyes burning against the sun. "I thought…"

"I apologize if I lead you on-"

"You didn't lead me on, kitten, you meant it. What happened to your honesty? Why are you lying to me?"

Right into your lap.

"That's the thing, Rhett. I don't know. Ever since I've been here, what I've done the most is lie. Sneak around. I don't like it. I don't belong here, and it shows."

"Bullshit! Who told you that? Was it one of those blonde fucking pricks?"

"Please, I can't have thoughts of my own?"

"Not insecure ones like this, no."

This is more hurtful than what you imagined. But it's good that he's being honest. You'll remember these words forever and probably be too embarrassed to return here.

"Like I said, I'm sorry."

He throws his hat on the ground, stepping right up to you, grabbing your hands in his.

"Stop fighting yourself."

It shakes you to your core, to hear what you needed to all your life. And from someone who you…

You can't.

"Jesus, Rhett! Wake up!" You push his hands away. "This is your life, your family. Doesn't it matter to you? It's not about me. You need to step up for them, and I'm not the girl who's going to get you there, I'm just not! So you need to find her. If you haven't already."

His blue eyes have never been icier. You can imagine what he thinks of you now. Manipulative. Spoiled. Deceiving.

In the background, Royal's sprinting on top of a horse, cussing angrily. You question Rhett.

"What's up with him?"

He runs a hand across his forehead, reluctant.

"Our dear neighbors are convinced we trespassed their property and are legally demanding we give it back. It's a, uh, considerable amount of good land."

You feel like snapping that useless piece of shit in two. Had it not been enough? To tell him that it meant nothing, that you weren't going to stay with him or feed into this silly rivalry…

You praised him while backstabbing Rhett for him to betray you one last time?

He notices your thousand-yard stare nearly setting fire to all the grass in your vicinity. He warns you, calling your name in a way that says 'don't'.

"Those shitheads- Son of a bitch! I asked him…"

Rhett finally closes the distance, fingers kneading the knots on your shoulders as you huff, exasperated.

"Relax. This shows it has nothing do with you."

His hands massage your neck, thumbs caressing the ends of your jawline, and you close your eyes for a second.

"How so?"

"I'm assuming that's what you pulled him aside the other night to talk about. Play the game. Boost his ego, ensure I'm no threat, and he'd leave us alone. Because you're smart. If it was about you, they would have stopped. It didn't work, so it's unrelated to you, right? It's business. You don't understand, forget it."

You let him pull you in for a hug, stroking your hair while your arms envelop his body.

But then, it hits you. You don't understand. Maybe you made things worse by talking to him, maybe he told his brothers to punch harder, or didn't talk to them at all. Once again, you're proven to be out of your element. You wonder if she would have made this mistake. Or if she would have known the right way to handle this, them. Part of you roots for her.

You push him off.

"Or I wasn't convincing enough. Leaving can still make things better."

"Is that why you're going?"

"Rhett-" You're tired. Can't he just yell, grab your arm, tell you to never show up here again. That, you know how to thread. "It's not why, but it's a damn good reason."

He laughs at you, incredulous. Like he can't take you seriously. Like his brother, when he was drunk. It's a nauseating sight.

"Ok. So, what, you're bad for me? Get over yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He's in your face again. "You really think that works on me? Is that how stupid you think I am? You’re bullshitting."

How is he controlling the situation? How did this happen?

"What do I do with that?"

"Tell the truth."

"I am!"

"Not that. Just two weeks ago. Prick's last night in town. You said to him, it didn't mean nothing. What didn't?"

"I didn't know you heard that."

"Well?"

"You and I. It didn't mean anything, soon enough I'd go back to Boston and you'd stay here."

"Did you lie to him, or to me?"

"I have a ticket back to Boston so-"

"Did it mean nothing to you?"

He's staring you down, breathing fast on your face, eyes searching yours for any signs of weakness.

It's right in front of him. The answer.

All these years valuing honesty, putting it on a pedestal, clinging to it as the one virtue you can count on… It made you a terrible liar.

He knows. You realize, then, that his point isn't to hear that you cared for him and that it wasn't all meaningless. Your leaky eyes, heaving chest, gritted teeth, it shows him that you do care.

He's asking you to speak up. To fight for yourself, instead of against. He probably doesn't mind you going back to school, he helped you, even. All he wants is to hear it.

Are you going to let go, tell him how much he means to you and that you'll be back for him? Or will you cower and run, leaving him behind?

You swallow an entire speech.

Rhett backs off, side-eyeing you one last time as he walks towards the steps, before turning to you. "In that case, you're probably right."

Then, Amelia interrupts your moment, running past her uncle and almost knocking him down in the process. You almost tumble yourself with the force of her hug.

It's crushing, and wet from her tears. You smooth her hair.

As fast as she came, she goes. Her weight is missed.

She takes her uncle's hand as she goes up the porch's steps, Perry watching from the doorway.

You fish for the truck's keys in your pocket, hearing the wooden door of the house shut behind you.

—————————

It's an even quieter than usual morning for the Abbotts.

The goddamn dogs look disinterested.

Amy woke up asking to skip school again, but his brother said no. She has spoons under her eyes to try and downsize the puffiness.

He didn't cry. Why would she?

Danielle called, he's not sure why, to say that you were gone. And to relay that you sent Amy a hello, wished her a good day in school.

Life is swift.

They'll be fine.

But he doesn't get it. At first, he thought he could save you from a poor excuse of a man. He had stolen girls from the boys next door before.

Eventually, the obvious dawned on him. They're not teenagers anymore.

You weren't nice to him to be saved, you were just nice. Yourself. Even if you hid, guarded up, dipped your toes in the water before diving. It was only fair. You decided he was good enough to let in.

And then he had screwed it up by fucking you in a strange place against a wall. Coming inside you with no regard for your well-being despite telling you he wanted to make you feel good. Instead, he probably ended up making you feel like another notch under his belt.

He was terrified. That he had lowered your expectations on people even more, convincing you to stay with your boyfriend because it doesn’t look too much better out there; that he had shown you his worst side and you'd never want to look at him again.

But you smiled, just a few days after. Teased him like he noticed you only did with him. Told him he had nothing to worry about, while you worried sick for him and his family. Didn't let him ease your nerves. A no-good, infuriating tendency to be self-righteous.

He knows- He knew you. What he doesn't understand is why you couldn't break those vices for him. What else could he have done to make you feel safe enough to?

You'd sacrifice yourself if it meant his family would be alright.

Did he not make it clear that he doesn't want you to? That, as long as you're gone, he will not be alright? And if he's not alright, he can't step up or whatever you said.

Then, there was all that talk about Maria. Obviously, the woman still affects him. They never got their chance, it's bound to make him wonder…

But even after all these years, he has no clue who she is. What she likes, what she hates. He knows her story by accidentally being part of it, and even then, he doesn't know it that well.

In a few months you managed to leak into every bit of his life. He memorized all of the pieces that built you, made the effort to. And he wanted more. He wanted you everywhere.

Everyone but his niece was skeptical. They liked you despite how vastly different you are, it scared them. For a family who has been through enough hardships, change is always uncomfortable. He spent nights awake thinking about how he could sprinkle a good word about you every dinner, maybe recruiting Amy, so that you'd feel loved by them too. They could love you, he's sure of it.

He doesn't understand why he's not enough. You must have noticed his effort. Sure, he wasn't too good with romance but he never gave up on you. It's not entitlement, you don't owe him anything, he chose you. Like you had said once, that you chose him. What changed?

Why was he not enough?

His mother is frustrated, to put it lightly, that now her two sons brood around the house, and so does her granddaughter. His dad spends even more time working to avoid the off-putting energy in the house.

So she suggests no one goes to Lenny's diner for a while. And that they all go watch him ride on Friday. Then they'll get some good chicken wings on the way home. Together (she means no bar after, no drinking).

They obey dilligently.

The show that night is good, he scores a great time. Maria is there. Not surrounded by blonde assholes, just her friends, he notices. Approachable.

They'll be fine.

————————

last part coming soon :)

#rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott #outer range fanfic #outer range #lewis pullman

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bidokja · 1 year

Note

This is what they said like. His character didn't change in the slightest you just are a misogynist

WHAT. WHAT IN THE GODDAMN.

HOW DO YOU MISREAD BOTH CHARACTERS AND THE POINT OF THEIR GROWTH/DEVELOPMENT SO BAD LIKE. THIS IS ALMOST IMPRESSIVE (DEROGATORY)

HE DID NOT HAVE AN IRON WILL HE WAS HELLBENT ON VENGEANCE AND DESENSITIZED TO HIS OWN WELL BEING DUE TO YEARS OF HEAVY DEPRESSION AND NONEXISTENT SELF ESTEEM. HE ALSO HAD NO ONE TO GENUINELY CARE ABOUT, NOR ANYONE WHO WOULD RETURN THE SAME KIND OF CARE. THAT'S WHY HE COULD KILL HIMSELF SO EASILY. ARE YOU STUPID.

it's only when gongja found both someone else to care deeply for AND realized through this that the state of ones well being doesn't just affect oneself but also the people who care for you most that he was able to truly put his darker past behind him and try to find a way forward without devaluing his own life. it's only then that he begins to acknowledge that while pain is a shared language, it is something that must be secondary to (or in tandem with) love as a shared language. shared pain aids in communication and understanding, but love is what sees us through it all. and if pain all you think you have then that is all you can give as well. we as human being must be able to share both, or we're just ghosts.

also "under the thumb of a girl" it's called loving and listening to your spouse, or generally just. any person you decide to share the rest of your life with. "under the thumb" she has one (1) rule for him and that's "don't die unless you have to" it's not even a hard rule she knows sometimes it will be inevitable. sorry you're such a swagless misogynist that you think a woman not compromising what she wants and needs for a man means that she's ruling over him. sorry you're such an insufferable douche that you think gongja and raviel mutually caring for what the other wants in their relationship and in their own lives is affecting his dignity. sorry your ego is more fragile that a soggy piece of paper. die mad about it.

one last thing. "completely subservient in two days" listen i'm open to criticisms about romance in most cases, especially if it feels out of nowhere or too hastily pushed. gongja and raviel are not one of those cases. i'm honestly surprised he didn't realize how smitten he was even sooner. tbf it's not his fault he had like Zero experience with romance or anything

edit: ALSO WAIT. "FLOWERY ROMANTIC LANGUAGE" THE REST OF THE NOVEL IS WRITTEN THE SAME WAY. JUST NOT ABOUT ROMANCE. HELLO. so so so so so often men in fandom use "i hate romance" as a...i can't even say its a veil really, it's just obvious code for "i hate women" like. go n cry about it no one gives a shit about your weird perception of what an ideal iron willed man(tm) should be

#in case it wasnt clear the 'love' i'm talking about in the first half is General. any and all love #though of course for gongja and raviel its romantic in nature #but im also of the firm belief that different kinds of love can coexist. romantic love and platonic love can be interconnected #or layered or mixed or linked. however you wanna describe it #ANYWAYS #glad i don't associate or interact with fandoms at large im just here in my space. my area. no dickheads allowed #ask #sssrh

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ghosttownwherenoonegoes · 2 years

Text

My heart is crying over pasta bake & so I'm writing to the Munsons because I wanna be silly for 5 minutes🥺

It's written TO Eddie & Uncle Wayne, speaking as if I am in their universe. Because why not?🥺

TW NEGATIVITY NEGATIVITY NEGATIVITY AND I GUSH!!!!

Hey, Eddie.

So, uh... it's been a while since we got to spend time together, hasn't it? I can't even remember the sound of your voice, baby. That's my own fault, though. I always tell myself 'you can see Eddie when you're done studying/after work/once you've got X done' but when I've done these things, I have to do something else and then before I know it, I'm holding your guitar pick in the palm of my hand in the work break room when I'm getting in or out of my uniform and fighting off tears because I miss you so damn much it hurts.

I just don't know what to do, angel. Everything is so much all the time and it's getting increasingly so as the weeks go by and I feel like I'm drowning. Dad told me the other day that I do a really good impression of a duck; I look calm and serene on the surface but underneath, my feet are going like crazy to keep me afloat. And he's right and I hate it. I just... I don't know, Eddie. Everything is just... it's a lot and I keep trying to grapple things so that I can catch up with studying but it's getting to the point where if it gets any worse, there won't be catching up because it'll be next to impossible and the odds are already stacked against me. I have until the end of this week to complete an assignment, which I was graciously given an extension for (have you forgiven me for the 32 hour stint yet?🙏), and do three weeks' of uni work, otherwise it'll become four weeks of uni work and two assignments... yeah, I know... I'm disappointed in me too.

I thought I was doing well, and I was.... and then all of a sudden I wasn't and everything spiralled out of control faster than I could tighten my grip and I'm fighting to make it right. My job is so demanding that it asks for everything except a virgin sacrifice, but technically I give them that every time I show up for a shift, and I'm always so tired when I come home that I just don't wanna study so then I don't and then before I know it I'm a week behind but then work doesn't stop being intense because of the industry I work in and then university builds in intensity literally every week and then I stopped eating as much, I stopped sleeping as much and then before you know it, I'm here. Running on fumes, caffeine, spite, running on empty, burning the candle at both ends, telling people she's okay but watching the same film literally twenty-seven times in one week because it's comforting, staying away from you because if I look at you, my beloved, I'll cry, and I simply don't have the time to put myself back together when I've already fallen apart. It's hard enough trying to catch your own fall.

I know what's happening to me, I've been here before, years ago, when I got home from what happened to me (a story I've never told you but maybe one day I will, if you want to hear it), and I know how it ends. And it's happening again but I don't know if I have the strength to pull myself out of it a second time. So forgive me if my hold on you is loose but tight at the same time. I'm almost afraid to look at you, because looking at your chocolate button eyes will make me cry and yet, they're such a big comfort to me. Right now, I'm in a place where I can save things, I can fix it. But if this carries on, it'll be too far gone a situation and then where will I be??? Three years of uni work, down the pan, and for what? A several month long.... whatever the fuck this is? I don't know, Eddie. Maybe you do.

But anyway, I'm sliding this note under your door because I think you're at Hellfire Club right now and I don't want to linger around and disturb anyone. I've left Uncle Wayne a note too, would you please make sure he receives it? I love you both so much, and I'm sorry I've been away so long. Make sure I come back soon, okay? If it's left up to me, we'll never see each other again because I'm not enough for the lifestyle I worked so hard for and that means I'm not enough for you, either. And I want to be enough for you, so so badly. I'm not enough in the ways I should be and I'm too much in the ways I shouldn't be.

But it's... I don't know, Eddie. I'll figure it out. I can't cut back on my work hours because I need the money because everything is so damn expensive, I'm saving up to move out of my parents' house and paying my own bills and helping my parents with theirs when they need it. And also quitting uni, a daily thought I have, isn't an option because otherwise that's the last three years of my life wasted and I already feel like everything I've ever done at any point ever has been a waste too, so I HAVE to get this right.

I just want you here, Eddie. I miss you so much, you beautiful man. My sweet angel baby. I'm only trying to stand my ground because you did, too. You were absolutely fucking terrified but you went down with a fight and I need to be like that too, I want to be like that. I know I can be better than this, I usually am, and I don't understand why I'm struggling so much. It's pissing me off and I just want to crumple myself up, throw me away and get a new Eri because this one is fucking everything up and I hate her. The only things I like about Eri are her hair, her eyes, her creativity, her taste in music, and her friends. Everything else needs to be replaced.

People have told me this isn't my fault, but it IS. How can it not be, when it's my job, my degree, my choices whether to eat or sleep or not, me choosing whether or not to get stressed, me choosing to not study or to sit staring into space picking at my skin because everything is just so much that it scares me into not doing anything??? It's all on me, it's my fault, my responsibility, you know? I'm just not enough, Eddie, I'm not. And I need to be. I'm not even enough for you and that hurts so much because you're the best of the best. There's no one better than you.

I gotta go some chores, honey. I love you, so so so so much. I want to hold onto you and never let you go, not for a second. Will you please stay? I'm sorry I haven't given you a reason to, but please?🥺

All my love,

Erika.💗

P.S. I'm still wearing your necklace! I feel very much your girl today🥺🫂

------

Dearest Uncle Wayne,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I just wanna crawl into your lap and burrow myself into your flannel and cry. But I'd never ask to do that. Truth be told, I'm almost afraid to look at you because I'm worried you're angry and/or disappointed in me. I mean, I am so why wouldn't you be? You're amongst the very best of us, you and your boy.

And I... I feel like I'm amongst the worst, at least when it comes to all the Eris I've ever been. I've been here before, Uncle Wayne, and I barely survived it and I'm so scared it's happening again now, even though everything was going great. I had such a good handle on things but then uni increased the workload and then work suddenly got really intense and I couldn't breathe aaaaand it's a few months later and I still can't breathe and I'm scared to go under, Uncle Wayne. The dark scares me, you know it does, and I'm worried it'll be dark if things carry on. I won't do this, to clarify before you panic and grab the phone to call me, but I'm almost tempted to let everything go to shit just to see what would happen!!! But I'm holding onto your flannel, fighting like hell to make sure it doesn't happen even when I want it to. Because I don't actually want it, you know? It's just a thought and I feel like this particular negative thought is more reflective of my fears; not something I actually want.

But. I say this with affection, but I am a stubborn, black-hearted bitch who will eventually wake up, sick of her own shit, and smash through all the uni work I need to do, finish the assignment I'm afraid of and stop staring into space for hours on end, all because I'm overwhelmed with how much there is to do. I need to be more than this and I don't understand why I'm not, I don't understand why this is so hard. I mean, I know it is hard, working almost full-time and studying at the same time, but christ alive, Uncle Wayne, I'm crumbling under the pressure and I don't have a big enough broom to sweep me up and pat me into a neat little pile so you can pour coffee on it until it becomes me again.🥺

I'm really really lost, Uncle Wayne, and I need you to sit me down and lecture me until I cry (you won't have to try hard, just glare at me, raise your voice a little, and job's a good'un!🙃), and then hug me 'til I'm giggling. I think I could face all this properly if I had you here. I have a week to correct this whole academic mess but I'm not sure I can, not without continuing to sacrifice sleep, meals, and my time with you and Eddie. I don't remember your voice, I don't remember what arm you always outstretch first to hug me, I don't remember anything except your ghosts and I miss you both so much.

I'm sorry I'm not your Eri right now, Uncle Wayne. She's gone and I don't know where she is and I'm really scared.💔I need her and I need you and I need Eddie and I need... I don't know what I need but maybe you do. I can see you scratching your head right now.

But anyway. I love you lot and lots and I miss you and I wanna come over but I'm scared to in case you yell at me or tell me you don't love me anymore or this is all my fault or whatever else; it'd be deserved because it's all true. It is my fault! I let this happen and I need to fix it.

With all my love,

Eri.

#things for eri

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rnebbie · 3 years

Text

Skys The Limit (request)

Tom Hiddleston x teen!reader, Tom Hiddleston x co star!reader

Request description: how about Tom Hiddleston with a teen!reader whose just getting into acting? maybe something along the lines of him showing them the ropes? i'm just excited to see what you come up with :D

Requested by: @ohworm-writes

Warnings: lack of sleep in the beginning ???

(A/n): omg YAYYY first request & first fic!! I am so excited to do more. If ur reading this rn… ur witnessing the beginning!! Lolll jk. I hope u don’t mind I added a bit of a twist and I didn’t stick to the plot that well… actually this might be nothing like u wanted LOL IM SORRY … hopefully u like. :D totally fine if not. Lmk!!! Also if anyone wants to be added to my tag list plz totally lmk bc I’ve got no one rn LOL & send more requests!

You’d just gotten into acting not long ago. It’s something you’ve always had an interest for, but only recently did you actually get your first acting job, and you were ecstatic.

You could barely sleep the days leading up to your first day on set. You’d already had your bags packed to leave the first day you’d heard you were signed. And the night before your first day on set, you couldn’t find yourself settling down. That didn’t make a great first impression on your co-star, Tom Hiddleston, As you had bags under your eyes, and though very excited to meet him, you weren’t your true self because of your lack of sleep.

The next morning, once you arrived on set, Tom had two coffees with him. One he was already drinking out of, and one that had your name on it. He smiled and handed it to you. You thanked him and you two walked for a little while together.

“So, I’ve heard you're brand new to the industry. Is this correct?” Tom asks, as you’re walking alongside him. “That appears to be the case.” You reply jokingly in an English accent. Tom can tell you two are going to be good friends, and invites you to dinner after filming is over, whenever that may be.

After filming is finally over for the day, you and Tom take thirty minutes to wash up, before meeting at the restaurant in the lobby of the hotel that you, along with all the crew is staying at, in separate rooms, of course.

“You’re lucky to be working with me on your first acting job. I know everything.” Tom assured you. You’re confused for a moment that this professional actor seems to have such a kind and funny personality, but you laugh, nonetheless. You ask questions, and he answers them as if he’d learned the facts in the first grade.

After that dinner, that’s not the last time he teaches you things. Every time you two are together, he makes sure you learn a new lesson. He doesn’t have any kids of his own, and so he feels like he’s got to share all of his knowledge with someone. He knows that you’re someone worth knowing what he knows, and tries to tell you everything.

He’ll stop you in the middle of your scenes together, saying “pause.” And holding a figure up to the directors, and the cameras, and they know to give you two a minute. One time you two were in the middle of an emotional scene, and he stopped you for the first time. You were pretty angry, as you’d just gotten yourself to cry after massive amounts of practice (that, surprise surprise, Tom gave you.) he kept stopping the scene over and over again. “You know you have more to give, y/n. Use it.” He assured you.

Eventually, after all was said and done, although you were very annoyed with Tom for making you restart over and over, that anger manifested into tears that you were able to use to your advantage. The scene was determined to be one of the best in all of cinematic history. It’s a scene you, and Tom, would never live down. All thanks to him.

“What’s the best piece of advice you feel like you could give me?” You ask him, a little later into the first dinner you two ever had. He pauses for a good minute, and you sit on the edge of your seat, anticipating what it may be. “Never, ever, let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Prove the cynics wrong. Pity them for they have no imagination. The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit.” He says. You sit in awe, and nod your head. “Not bad, Hiddleston.”

It’d been five years since you wrapped your movie with Tom hiddleston. You’re much more grown up now, and you’ve had an abundance of jobs. You’re a well known, and successful actor. People look up to you immensely. They always talk about how, though getting into the acting industry only years prior, you seem to have been born for the screen. And people always ask you how you got to know the industry so well.

That’s what you’d been hearing all night. Your throat hurts from how many questions you’d answered on the red carpet. How many “thank you”s you’d beamed to the interviewers. And how many exciting noises you’d muttered out once people congratulated you on your Emmy nominee.

You sit at a table with your closest friends and family, and some of the actors you’d become closest with during your career. All night you wait anxiously, repeating your speech in your head, just in case on the off chance, you win the award.

Once it comes to your division, you close your eyes, and try not to pay attention. Too scared to be denied your prize, but too anxious to accept it. You barely even hear once they call your name, confirming you won the award. You won the Emmy.

You sit, shocked, and your best friend has to nudge your arm to shock you back into reality. You already start tearing up, and you stand up to hug them. Then you make your way to the stage.

Once seeing how many people are in front of your eyes, and how many people must be watching at home, you’re dumbfounded. You feel like every word of the speech you’d practiced a thousand times, just slips away from your memory. You scan the crowd in nervousness, trying to remember the tips you’d follow in middle school when you had a presentation, imagine everyone in their underwear. But once you’d locked eyes with Emma Watson, you had to blink and shake the thought away. That wouldn’t work.

Once you opened your eyes again, the first person you saw was Tom Hiddleston. He was standing up, clapping his hands aggressively, with a massive smile on his face. You couldn’t tell because of how out of it you were, and because you were pretty far from him, but you could almost see his eyes watering as he watched you like a proud father.

You smiled big back at him, acknowledging and silently thanking him. After all, you don’t know where you’d be without him.

“Okay, wow. Hi! Oh my god!” You start, anxiously and completely at a loss for words. “This is absolutely, and utterly not what I was expecting…” you start, getting a laugh out of the majority of the crowd.

“This is just- wow! This is crazy! Thank you so much!” You say, gesturing to the Emmy you’re holding, it feels like an insane fever dream, you’re waiting for a bear to come through the walls and eat your Emmy, or something drastic that would only happen in a nightmare.

“First off, thank you so much to the members of the ATAS for nominating me for such an incredible opportunity and an amazing award, I can’t believe you think I’m worthy of it, but I’m not complaining!” You get another laugh out of the audience. “And a massive thank you to my agency, my manager, my friends and my amazing family for never doubting me in my acting abilities. If not for your love and support, there’s absolutely no way I’d be standing here right now!” You say, wiping a tear from your eye, in authentic awe of the moment you’re experiencing.

You think for a moment about what else you need to acknowledge, what else got you to this point?

You look back to the general area Tom was seated in, and he gives you a huge smile and a thumbs up. Something he’d always done on set when you’d done an incredible job on a take. Any time you needed reassurance, he knew and was there to give it to you. You blink and tears run down your cheeks. You think back to the kid you were five years ago and how lost and new they were to the acting industry, and they feel like an absolute stranger to you now.

“And finally, the biggest thank you is owed to Tom Hiddleston. I don’t even know how I got into the acting business before knowing him, because I swear to god, it’s like I knew nothing! Tom taught me everything I know, and without him I would be absolutely nowhere. I’d just be another kid with their head lost in clouds. The best advice he ever gave me is something that’s gotten me through every day. Every challenging day when I didn’t want to deal with the media, when acting felt like too much work, when I’d cry on set because I felt like I was missing out on normal teenage experiences. Tom was there for everything, and he always said, “Never, ever, let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Prove the cynics wrong. Pity them for they have no imagination. The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit."”

Taglist:

1,508 words

#Tom Hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #Tom hiddleston x teen!#Tom hiddleston x teen!reader #marvel #Loki #loki odinson #lokis daughter #loki x teen!reader #ahhh #what #first fic #first request #the avengers #mcu cast

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mooniefics · 3 years

Text

— personal punishment

pairing : nanami kento / fem reader

word count : 1.8k

tags : pnp, degradation, authority kink, office sex, semi-public sex, boss / secretary, nanami literally being the sexiest man to ever live and breathe

warnings : nsfw, power imbalance

summary : He couldn't expect you to be perfect—but he could definitely expect you to pay for each imperfection in more ways than one.

notes : thank u so much to @suna-reversed for hosting the incredibly creative jujutsuhub collab and allowing me to participate !! much love (୨୧•͈ᴗ•͈)◞*♡

you couldn't exactly say you weren't proud of your performance today.

for one, you'd come into the office late, knowing that your penalties would be formally waived by your boss but well aware that you would have to face his own personal punishment. it was just your luck that this very day was the most busy the office had been all month, leaving you running papers back and forth from your boss' office for hours, nearly tripping over your own heels three times too many before you even reached your lunch break, praying that you weren't screwing anything else up in your frantic rush.

but before you could even think about escaping the confines of the office building to make up for your missed breakfast at a cafe nearby, your boss was already calling back into his office. you already knew exactly why he was requesting your presence, fear and anticipation immediately tangling into a heavy knot in the pit of your stomach. but still you went, obediently as you always did, keeping your head low as you passed your coworkers in the hall.

your fate had been sealed the moment you made a mistake, the same outcome that had been repeating for months now each time you made an error, whether it was as small as not taking the trash out from the waste bin when it was too full for his liking to something as grievous as spilling his morning coffee all over one of his pristine white button-ups. for any and all errors, you were certain to face this punishment.

the position you were in wasn't unfamiliar, bent over nanami's desk, pencil skirt hiked all the way up to your waist with your underwear around your knees, completely at the mercy of the man caging you in with his body from behind.

"if you keep making all that noise, you're going to end up getting us both fired." he growled, voice low in your ear, one hand still pressed firmly over the center of your back, forcing your chest down onto his desk. the other was occupied between your legs, two thick fingers plunging mercilessly into your needy cunt as you struggled to hold in every whimper and moan each snap of his wrist drew from the back of your throat.

"'m s-sorry, s-sir..!" you barely managed to breathe out, nails beginning to scrape at the edge of the wooden tabletop, teeth digging almost painfully into your bottom lip.

"'sorry' doesn't even begin to fix everything you've fucked up today," his stern tone persisted, ribs aching between the pressure of the heel of his palm and the hard desk, "you know just how much stress i've been under and yet you went out of your way to make it worse."

"no, n-not that..! p-promise!" you whimpered, breath coming in pants, struggling to not rock back into his hand with the knowledge that he'd stop entirely if he noticed you doing it.

you had no choice but to keep your eyes trained on the door in front of you, thighs trembling with anticipation, muted gasps and mewls managing to find their way out into the open air despite your efforts. you knew he didn't mind the noise as long as you were making a conscious effort to keep quiet, only loud enough for him to have the pleasure of hearing, only expressing the pitiful broken attempts at showing remorse that seemed to arouse him to no end.

he curled his fingers to rub at spot inside you that made your knees weak, barely chuckling when you writhed under him. "enjoying your punishment like this... you're just a pathetic slut. That's all you'll ever be, isn't that right?"

Your head hung low as you came over his fingers, shuddering, biting firmly at the inside of your cheeks to hold back the whine threatening to escape your heaving chest. you knew you should be ashamed to be so excited in the face of his cruelty, but when it was his voice and hands—discipling you harshly but still paying such good attention to you and your body—you couldn't help yourself.

before you had enough time to begin catching your breath, you could already hear the clinking of his belt buckle as he pulled it free from the belt loops of his pants, the warmth of naked skin as the length of his cock met the back of your thighs, already hard. the hand resting at your back slid up to rest at the base of your neck, fingers working their way into your hair to firmly grasp, holding you still while he eased himself between your thighs.

"please, s-sir.." The words spilled out of you before you could even think to maintain your obedient silence, earning a tug at your hair harsh enough to jerk your head back, arching your body further.

"snd who are you to be making any demands?" He muttered scornfully, the head of his cock now rubbing directly over your dripping pussy, making no effort to do anything more than painstakingly tease.

"i'm not, i j-just—" You sucked in a quick breath as you felt a sharp sting over your ass, certain there was a reddening welt where his hand had just struck it, "i pr-promise i'll be better..."

"and how can I be certain that you actually will? you say the same thing every damn time, and you still have yet to show me any improvement."

your eyes watered as you searched for a proper response, stammering over your words for just a moment too long—long enough to reignite the anger you'd found a momentary mercy from. you just barely pressed your hand over your mouth in time to muffle your own cry as he slammed himself inside of you, the desk shifting across the ground with a harsh squeak, insides struggling to accommodate his size all at once. he found a quick, ruthless rhythm of thrusting almost immediately, paying your quick gasps and pitiful whimpers no mind, almost painfully deep.

"is this is really the only thing you're good for?" he huffed, groaning lowly despite his apparent ire, "just taking cock and nothing else?"

"n-no!" you protested, barely able to hold your voice steady enough to respond, swallowing down each hiccuped breath interrupting your words, "this is the l-last time, i swear..! p-please sir, please—"

he shushed you harshly before you could continue, large hand rubbing over the aching flesh he'd previously slapped in a silent threat to repeat the action. you wouldn't be entirely opposed to feeling his large hand strike you again and again, leaving prints of red across your skin that wouldn't fade until hours after you'd left the office for the night, but you knew that you still had the entire second half of your day ahead of you to pretend as if he hadn't completely ruined you just meters away from the rest of his hardworking employees.

"at this point, i might as well just be paying to fuck you." he muttered callously, the speed of his hips slowing the slightest bit, each thrust still hitting deep enough for you to feel in your stomach, "then what does that make you, hm? a prostitute? my personal little plaything.."

you strained to vigorously shake your head side to side, fingers aching from how tightly they were clenching around the edge of the desk, your own arousal trailing down between your trembling thighs, hot tears dribbling down your flushed cheeks. you should've felt more inclined to deny his assertion, to prove yourself to be more than just a toy for him to used whenever he desired, when he needed to take out the pent up frustration he saved for your errors and your errors only—but you knew in the back of your mind that you were perfectly content with your position, as immorally lucrative as it was. you would embarrass yourself everyday for the rest of your career if it meant you could experience this at least once more.

"sorry, s-sorry..! oh fuck, sir, 'm so sorry!" the apologies you knew he loved so much spilled from your lips in a pathetic, broken moan, eyes nearly rolling into the back of your head as you held out for a few more mind-numbing moments before cumming around his thick cock.

you barely registered his hand grasping your hair painfully tight as he grunted a few low curses beside your ear, shakily exhaling a sigh when he emptied himself inside you, finally letting you rest back against the hard surface of his desk while you both caught your breath. it was all over far too soon, the intense intimacy that never lasted longer than the half-hour of your lunch break, even though you were sure he could steal you away for far longer without anyone daring to question him.

you wiped at your damp under-eyes with quivering hands, trying to not further disturb your already ruined mascara, swallowing down a whimper when pulled himself out of you and tugged your underwear back into place, readjusting your skirt for you before moving away from your body entirely.

he had already tidied up his own clothes by the time you pushed yourself to stand, that familiar expression of cool indifference having already resettled onto his handsome features. he barely ever let you see his face when he was disciplining you, always making sure you were facing away from him, or that you couldn't lift your head enough to get a good look at his face. it made it all feel so impersonal, inspired something that felt like sadness in the back of your mind, despite how you tried to remind yourself that what you had wasn't true intimacy, and that he could really replace you any day if he felt so inclined to do so.

"go clean up in the bathroom." he said without looking at you, straightening his tie back into place and checking the time on his watch, "you will need to take a call from a new client soon, and it is imperative that you give them the perfect first impression of our company. i expect you to be back here within the next ten minutes." his brow furrowed, the look of someone who'd just thought of something unpleasant flashing across his features when he finally met your gaze. "no more exceptions today."

"yes, sir." you replied obediently, voice hoarse, quickly turning away before the weight of a sudden sadness could show, advancing towards his door as briskly as your state allowed you to. you didn't look back on your way out, even though you so desperately wanted to, maybe deliver a genuine apology now that you knew he was genuinely irritated with you.

but you didn't, and the day continued as it always did, phone calls and document filing keeping you occupied for the rest of your shift, not receiving another word from your boss regarding anything. you tried not to take it personally when he didn't bid you farewell before leaving the building, reminding yourself that it was most likely just the pressure of a busy quarter, cursing yourself for screwing things up and enjoying your momentary bliss before the true consequence of genuine disappointment from nanami anchored you back to the somber reality of your situation.

it was foolish of you to think you'd be anything more than a secretary in his eyes.

#jujutsuhub collab #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #nanami smut #nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #kento nanami #kento nanami x y/n #kento nanami x you #kento nanami x reader

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randomshyperson · 3 years

Text

Left Behind - Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

Gif was made by my official gif maker friend @abimess

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Words: 4.753k

A/N> It's been 84 years... I just hope someone still reads this haha Let me know what you think

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

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Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

When you wake up, you get your ass beaten up by an unknown woman.

You awaken all at once, advancing against the woman who was watching you sleep. Her surprise only lasts a second, however, as the next she returns your blow and knocks you to the ground, a gun pointed straight at your face.

Wide-eyed, you realize where you are and raise your hands.

"Sorry, sorry." You can quickly. "I thought I was in the lab again. Who the hell are you by the way?"

The woman raises her eyebrow at you.

"Cap, get over here before I shoot her."

And the next second, a blond man is running into the area of the ship where you are, looking worried.

"Let's all calm down, okay?" He asks as he sees the gun extended, and waits for the woman to put it down. You sigh lightly, rising to stand up.

"I'm sorry I attacked you, Miss." You ask as soon as you are on your feet, and massage your shoulder, which hit the ground hard when she knocked you down.

"It's fine, you just got beat up anyway." She teases, making you give a short laugh.

You were about to ask if they could let you off the ship anywhere, but a low groan of pain beside you caught your attention.

Just then you noticed the man lying on the stretcher next to you a few feet away, a large wound in his rib. You are also able to notice the rest of the ship, there is a man piloting a few meters away, and two men sitting further ahead, talking to each other.

"Hey, I can help." You stated immediately, but as soon as you moved, the woman stood in front of you, looking at you with suspicion and defiance, and you swallowed dryly. "I-I can heal him." You clarified, but the woman only changed her posture when the man next to you touched her forearm.

"Can you do that?" He asks you, and you nod. You wait for the woman to take a step back to approach the man on the stretcher.

"Hey, are you guys sure of this?" The man lying down asked uncomfortably, and you raise your hands in the air.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I won't hurt you, I promise. "You guarantee it." Can I heal your injuries?" You ask and wait for him to confirm.

The wound is deep, but you have dealt with much worse.

"How did you do that?"

"It was nothing." You say as you put your hands down. His skin was completely intact again.

"This sure is cooler than lightning, huh, Thor?" Commented the blond as he sat down on the stretcher, clearly feeling better. The long-haired man at the back of the ship looks at you curiously as he stands up, and when he notices his colleague completely healed, he looks impressed.

"This sure is an interesting skill for a mortal." He says to you, and you don't know exactly what to make of those words, but you don't have time to comment, because he is already approaching to introduce himself. "My name is Thor Odinson, god of thunder."

You frown.

"G-god of thunder?" You repeat confused. "Sorry, is that some kind of joke?"

The woman next to you giggles, moving to sit on the stretcher next to the man you healed. The blond man in front of you looks slightly offended, but his expression softens immediately.

"I understand that at first, mortals may be incredulous at such a..."

"No, I just thought the title was funny." You interrupt the blond man, surprising him. "You guys are the Avengers, aren't you? My master has already told me about you."

“Your master?”

It is the other blond guy in the blue uniform who asks. You mentally repress yourself.

"Damn, sorry." You say. "It's what I used to call the soldiers and doctors who gave me orders."

"Your files say that you disappeared in Sokovia when you were younger, and what we found at the base were the records of the experiments they did on you." He adds, and you twiddle your fingers nervously. "I just want to make sure you're not going to try to bring the plane down with everyone inside."

The attempted joke is enough to make you smile, but you are beginning to feel overwhelmed. You really were free. After all this time, the idea seemed almost absurd.

You try to control your emotion at once, and the man seems to notice, because his expression softens immediately.

"Hey, come have a seat." He asks, signaling to one of the empty chairs, and you obey. "My name is Steve Rogers, and I promise you're safe now. Hydra will never hurt you again."

You nod frantically, feeling the tears in your eyes. But you try to normalize your breathing, not wanting to cry in front of strangers.

"I'm sorry, I just... I've just been trying to get away for so long." You confess next, wiping your eyes quickly. "It's weird to think I succeeded."

"We are going back to the Avengers tower now. Is there anyone you would like to get in touch with?" He asks, and his words make your stomach sink.

"Yes." You say. "But I have no idea where they are."

"Who? Your family?"

You give a short laugh.

"Yeah, I guess so. They were..." You start trying to remember exactly. You didn't even know how long it had been since the time you saw the twins at the Hydra base. You had no idea if they were alive, but you wanted to believe they were. Taking a deep breath, you continue. "They were my friends. Wanda and Pietro, we grew up together. They... I saw them once. When I still had the serum in my head. I..."

Seeing your difficulty in organizing your thoughts, Steve interrupts you by touching your forearm.

"It's okay." He says. "We'll find the twins."

"So they really are alive?"

Steve smiles.

"Yes." He answers and you feel your body relax all at once. "They ran away, I imagine they were scared, but we'll find them."

You gasp, unable to control your tears. Neither Steve nor the rest of the Avengers seem to care.

When you calm down, Steve introduces you to the rest of the team.

You are not exactly happy to meet Tony Stark. The mention of his last name makes you frown, because you know it was a Stark bomb that blew up your home at Sokovia, but when you accuse Tony, he seems really upset.

"Well, I guess you can get on the list of people who hate me then." He grumbles and you cross your arms, the whole team sensing the tension in the air.

"You could at least apologize for blowing up half of Sokovia with your weapons." You retort angrily, and the man rolls his eyes, not getting up from the armchair you were in.

"Sure, no problem. I'm sorry, kiddo. Happy?"

You clench your jaw, but before you can say anything, Steve steps forward.

"Tony, try not to be a jerk, okay?" The captain speaks and the other man lets out a wry laugh. "Have at least some respect for the girl's story."

"I have respect, Captain." He assures as he stands up, looking impatient. "What I don't have is time to revisit the past while our enemies get more and more powerful." He says and you frown in confusion. "I've already banned weapons production in the industries, and we've already taken on Hydra in that place. Now we can move on, because I need to get back to the compound and understand exactly what that thing is."

He speaks and finishes by signaling to the opposite side, and it is only then that you notice the shining scepter on the far side of the room and let out a surprised exclamation, taking three steps backwards.

"How did you guys get this?" You ask horrified and the team looks at you curiously.

"Have you seen the scepter before?"

"Of course I have!" You reply. "That's what gave me the healing! The damn stone went through my chest."

Thor steps forward, looking at you in surprise.

"So Hydra were able to decipher the scepter?

You laugh humorlessly.

"If by decipher you mean press the scepter against my chest while preening me in an iron chair, then yes." You reply, but take a deep breath to calm yourself. "A yellow stone came off as soon as the scepter touched me. And well, it went right through my skin. When I woke up, I could heal. But whatever it is, it killed all the soldiers who were holding me."

Thor seems to consider your words as Steve tells you that he is sorry for what you went through in Hydra.

Suddenly you remember where you first saw him.

"The man on the bridge!" You exclaimed, surprising him, but you were getting your memories gradually, and your heart was racing. "You are Captain America.... My god, where is Bucky?"

"Great, another fan of the metal arm." Tony comments sarcastically, but no one seems to care.

Steve looks at you with a frown.

"Is he safe? Is he free? Can I see him?" You ask promptly next, and Natasha chuckles.

"Hey, calm down." Steve asks and you swallow dryly, trying not to feel so overwhelmed with so many memories coming back at once. "How do you know Bucky?"

You blink in surprise.

"He...he didn't talk about me?"

It takes a second, and then Steve's eyes widen.

“Oh my god, you’re the guardian!

"I am what now?"

Steve lets out an incredulous laugh.

"The guardian." He repeats as if you were going to understand what he meant.

Natasha clears her throat.

"Captain, perhaps you'd better explain." She asks and Steve gestures quickly.

"We've been looking for you for months." Steve then adds, causing you to widen your eyes in surprise. "Bucky he... he's been trying to find you since he escaped. But he didn't know your name. All he knew was the nickname you got from the soldiers. The golden guardian of death. It's been our only tip to find you."

"I thought it was just golden guardian." Clint adds next, Nat makes a noise of agreement.

"No, I'm sure it was just Guardian of Death." Thor comments, but you are barely listening to the teasing, feeling your thoughts racing.

Steve raises his hands to your shoulders.

"Thank you so much for saving Bucky." He says before hugging you. You feel your neck heat up at the sudden contact, but do your best to reciprocate.

Steve lets you go then, smiling.

"He's going to be so happy to see you."

"Where is he?"

"At the compound." Steve replies. "He cannot attend field missions, it's part of the pardon. It's too much bureaucracy to explain now.."

"I think he's just lazy." Tony adds wryly, making the Avengers giggle.

And Steve's smile dies briefly.

"What's with you today, anyway, Stark?"

Tony sighs impatiently, finally rising from his armchair.

"I'm sorry if I'm not reacting in the way you consider proper captain, but I'm concerned about getting to work soon." He says as he moves toward you two. “I need to find out what this thing really is.”

"No, Stark, you won't touch this." It is Thor who announces, and all the avengers look genuinely surprised.

"I beg your pardon?" Stark retorted, but Thor didn't hesitate before he looked at you next.

"Describe to me again how you got your healing, mortal."

You sigh lightly.

"They locked me in an iron chair and brought the scepter." You narrated. "But they lie me on the chair next, and I could only feel the metal against my skin, and then I saw a yellow light. Something went right through my chest, and then right through." You say. "I blacked out for a second, the room was completely empty like a vision. When I blinked, it was back, but all the soldiers holding me were dead. And then they knocked me out."

"Before you said you saw a yellow stone?"

You nodded in agreement.

"I dreamed of this memory for several days." You clarify. "I was back in the room, but this time I watched myself. I saw when they put the scepter to my chest, and when the golden stone came out and went through my skin. It was the stone that released the wave of energy that killed the soldiers .I don't know why I didn't die too."

"A single blow that killed a group of soldiers at once." Thor mutters more to himself than to the rest of the teams. "It's decided then, no mortal must touch this. It's clearly far more power than anyone should have."

"This is ridiculous." Thor accused the next moment, making the team look at him curiously. "You can't just deny knowledge about something like that and..."

"Why are you so insistent on this, Tony?" It's Steve who asks suspiciously. Tony sighs, and gives a short laugh.

"You guys are unbelievable, you know." He says. "I'm trying to find new alternatives to our problems."

"What problems?" Steve asks with a confused grimace, and Tony rolls his eyes, looking nervous.

"Our enemies, Captain!" He snarls. "In case you haven't noticed, it hasn't been too long since we faced an army of robots coming from a hole in the sky!" He accuses. "We don't have the power to face this kind of thing. The scepter is exactly what I need to prevent the worst from happening."

"Where did that come from, Tony?" Steve retorted confused.

Stark gave a short laugh, rolling his eyes.

"I don't have time for this." He grimaced and moved to grab the scepter, but Thor stood in the way, arms crossed. "Really?" Tony impatiently charges, but Thor doesn't move. Stark clenches his jaw before declaring angrily. "I had a vision, okay? I saw all of us, defeated. Defeated because we didn't have the power to win. And I... I could have prevented it."

The avengers look as confused as you are, and remain silent. Tony sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"It was New York again, but this time the enemy won." He continues, visually upset. When he lifted his face in Steve's direction, his look was angry, but his eyes had tears in it. "And you told me that I could have stopped it."

“I wouldn't do that.” Steve says. “If we ever lose, I wouldn't blame you, Tony.”

Tony gives a short laugh.

“Wouldn’t you really?” He retorts. “I’m pretty sure you would, cap.”

Steve takes a step forward, his eyes soften as he looks at his friend.

“I promise you, Tony. If we lose, we lose together.” He declares. “That’s what being an Avengers means. I’m sorry if I was not clear before, and made you feel any different than this or…”

“Stop it!” Tony angrily interrupts. You flinch because you think you saw a familiar red light in his eyes. “Cut this sentimental crap, Steve. I’m just trying to do what’s necessary here.”

“Back off, Stark!” You order as you noted how he has moved his wand to the scepter, he seems surprised by the action too. You move in his direction as he takes two steps back, looking irritated. You gave him no time to answer however, as you raise your hands over his head and touch his forehead with your fingers before he can complain.

Immediately, you can feel the remnants of magic on Tony's head. You don't recognize it at first, but as your own magic removes the other energy, you sigh slightly. It feels familiar, but you don't know why. The energy is still harmful though, probably due to the intention of the one who cast it, but you manage to clean it all up.

You succeed because you coordinate your magic to wipe the other energy like you usually clear and heal wounds, and it seems to work, because Tony raises his hands to your wrist, his wide-eyed eyes soften and he looks almost startled.

"I'm sorry." He asks and swallows dryly. You remove your fingers from his forehead completely, watching with curiosity. He takes a deep breath, blinking several times as if waking up. "I'm sorry, everyone, I... Damn, it was like a horrible dream. I need to lie down for a minute."

And with that he leaves.

You don't ask questions anymore, because Steve is going after him, and you are trying to figure it out why you still feel the unknown magic tingling at your fingertips, as if it is trying to merge with yours.

//-//

You cry when you see Bucky again.

He lets out a disbelieving laugh, and then he's running up, hugging you tight.

Your conversation is long and intense, and is almost mostly made up of gratitude.

The other Avengers seem very happy to see the whole interaction, especially Steve.

Tony isolates himself in his room as soon as you arrive, and Thor looks upset. He and Bruce discuss something, and then they go to talk to Tony.

You don't pay attention because you are listening to Bucky tell you about getting all his memories back, and living with the Avengers since you helped him. He was now free from Hydra's control, and was pardoned by the state on condition that he was no longer the Winter Soldier.

Nat also added in his narrative the information that he and Steve were "making fondue" and the joke made him laugh with red cheeks but you didn't understand what that meant.

You are very happy to see him, but you can't help but think that he was not the one you wanted to find when you were free.

When he introduces you to the rest of the compound, and to your room, you hug him in appreciation, and you both exchange a knowing look, finally acknowledging that you are safe.

//-//

Your first night in the compound is a strange one.

After meeting the whole team, who were polite despite having fought you a few hours ago, you received a full meal and then locked yourself in your room.

But you were not used to having such a soft bed, not even before Hydra, so sleeping seemed kind of impossible.

Figuring that the Avengers wouldn't mind you taking a late night stroll, you left your room.

"Are you lost, girl?" A female voice suddenly sounded making you jump in fright. It was Natasha Romanoff, or as she introduced herself earlier, Black Widow.

"S-sorry, ma'am." You retorted clumsily, and the woman raised her eyebrows at you. "I can't sleep."

"First, I'm not old, so don't call me ma'am." She commented wryly, and you tried to smile. "Second, I know the feeling. If you want, I can distract you."

Your last social conversation with a woman happened a long time ago, and then you find yourself asking:

"Are you inviting me to have sex?"

Nat lets out a surprised laugh, crossing her arms.

"Where did that come from?" she asks, and you scratch your neck lightly.

"Sorry, I learned how to talk to women from television shows that Hydra soldiers watched in the labs. Bad references. What did you mean by distracting me?"

Nat laughed, impressed by your words.

"I meant like have some tea and tell a story." She clarifies, not sounding the least bit upset. You put your hands in the pockets of the pajamas you've been given.

"R-right. That sounds more appropriate." You mumble with flushed cheeks, eliciting another laugh from the woman. As you begin walking side by side, she comments.

"You know, I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with you around here. You are just as awkward as Steve and Bucky."

You end up hearing a story about agents in Budapest, but it seems Nat doesn't tell the whole story. It's nice, though, you missed talking to someone.

"That thing you did earlier with Tony, that was really cool." Nat remarks after a pause in silence.

You take a sip of your tea after shrugging, but she seems inquisitive.

"How did you know it was Maximoff who messed with his head?"

You almost choke at the sudden mention of the name and Nat's watchful gaze makes it impossible to disguise. You sigh.

"I... They are my friends." You confess looking down at the cup, "Or they used to be."

Raising your gaze to Nat again, she only seems curious to know, and you shrug slightly, deciding to trust her.

"We grew up together in Sokovia." You count twirling your fingers on the handle of your cup, "They were the only family I had in the orphanage. And well, it was for them that I broke into a Hydra building."

Nat listens to your story intently, and you swallow dryly before continuing.

"When they captured me, the serum, it... well, it didn't exactly leave me conscientious." You try to explain. "It was like pushing all my memories away, my mind would become completely empty."

“"Is that what they did to Bucky?" Nat questions and you shake your head.

"No, they used electric shock on Bucky." You return with a grimace. "With me, they couldn't hurt me permanently, so they needed something that would make me obey without me being able to heal. It was like being drunk, I guess, only much worse."

“I’m sorry.”

"It 's fine.” You say with a sad smile. “I was dumb enough to go there, i knew the risks.”

“Don’t say that.” Nat asks with a serious voice. “It’s was not your fault they torture kids.”

"And whose fault is it, then?" You retorted, upset, with yourself more than with Nat or anyone else. "My friends for being stubborn idiots? Of Stark for throwing a bomb in my building? I'm tired of looking for reasons to justify what happened to me. Nothing is enough, and I just want to see my friends."

Nat sighs lightly, and raises a hand on the table to reach for yours. You want to hold back the tears, but they are already falling before you can do so.

"I promise we will find your family." She assures you tenderly, and you feel your heart soar at the possibility.

You nod in understanding, taking a deep breath to stop crying.

Nat squeezes your hand, and it takes a moment for you to speak again.

"Wanda." You begin, and almost sob. It has been a long time since you have spoken that name. "She... She must have gotten her powers the same way I did." You say trying to remember everything you witness in Hydra at that moment. "I remember the soldiers talking about the twins being the only ones to survive the stone besides me."

"From Shield records, we know she can manipulate energy and Pietro can run really fast." Nat informs as she releases your hand. She sits thoughtfully for a moment."Maybe because you all got the magic through the same source, you can heal what she can do to Tony's mind. But that's not really my area, maybe you should talk to Thor as well."

You sigh lightly, wiping away the remainder of the tears falling on your face.

"I will." You say. "But I want to find Wan-the twins first." You correct yourself quickly, hoping Nat doesn't notice your flushed cheeks. She does, but says nothing.

"Try to get some rest." She asks as she picks up the teacups. "We have a party coming up, and then Thor is supposed to return to Asgard. I imagine you will want to have a little chat with Bucky before you return to Sokovia."

"I would go back to Sokovia right now if you ask me." You mutter making Nat chuckle lightly. "But I don't want to disturb any of you. I've waited for a long time, I can wait a little longer."

When Nat turns around after putting the glasses in the sink, she has a soft expression.

"You are not a nuisance here, kid." She assures with a smile. "We've just been caught a little by surprise with a new person, but it will be a pleasure to help you find the twins." She says and then has a mischievous expression. "I shouldn't tell you yet, but Steve is pretty excited about the whole thing. He wants you and the twins to join the team eventually."

"Really?" You ask in surprise and Nat just mumbles in agreement, still smiling.

She turns around on the countertop and before she leaves, she turns to you.

"If you ask my opinion, you seem to care a lot about both of them." She says. "I think that no matter how much time has passed, or if they are fighting on opposite sides, she will be happy to see you."

You swallow dryly, looking away.

Nat smiles one last time before leaving and you twiddle your fingers nervously, sitting for a while at the table before returning to your room.

With much to think about, you are surprised that you fall asleep almost instantly as you lie down.

//-//

The Hydra serum is still in your system.

You realize it in a rather embarrassing way actually.

After waking up on the couch, you went to the kitchen.

Bucky tells you that all the team is having a meeting and they will join you two soon, so you just lay against the wall while he reads the newspaper out loud for you.

The Avengers stay in the meeting room for a long time, and don't seem very pleased when they leave, but Tony seems intrigued.

You are surprised that he comes to talk to you as soon as he sees you.

"I didn't thank you for yesterday, kid." He says with a smile. "Whatever you did took away that bad feeling. Now I can work without having to hide that I'm trying to help."

You didn't quite know what to respond, but it didn't matter because Tony was patting you on the shoulder before smiling contentedly at the rest of the team.

"While I figure out a way to decipher the stone, which won't be hard since I'm incredibly smart." He begins his speech, causing the group to let out debauched laughter. "You guys can get busy with whatever old people do for fun. Except you Thunderlord, I'm going to need your help in the lab."

"Wow, Tony Stark asking for help." Thor teases and you watch the interaction with a smile on your lips, moving to join the table. "What a little magic doesn't do to your head, heh?"

"Don't tease me, Thundercat. I'll throw you out of this building, and you won't get any breakfast." He says with false seriousness and you laugh lightly as you pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Hey, kid, give me some too?"

"Ja, Master." You respond mechanically, perhaps even a little sleepily. The Avengers look at you with curiosity and confusion as they see you mechanically pour the coffee, and hand it to Tony, who looks shocked.

"He is not your master, kid." It is Natasha who breaks the silence, and you blink in confusion looking around for a moment.

"R-right." You say. "Sorry about that, Tony. Old habits I guess."

Tony thanks you for the drink, and you think the subject is going to die, but then Natasha keeps looking at you.

"Hey, Y/N, come over here." She asks and you move immediately. Shit. Natasha raises her eyebrow. "Take two steps to the left." Your body obeys. “Now to the right.” She asks and you obey again. This is terrible. The widow looks at you impressed.

"That looks bad." Tony quickly mocks before waving for Thor to accompany him to the lab, justifying that they should get to work soon.

Nat continues to look at you incredulously, but then Steve gets up from the table as well and snaps his fingers in front of your eyes, making you jump in fright slightly. He assumes a worried expression afterwards.

"You are obeying our orders as if we were your masters." He says. "Let's go see Bruce in the lab, he'll want to run some tests."

When you reach the lab, and Steve explains to Bruce what happened at breakfast, you are not surprised that he puts needles in your arm. You hope the news will be good when he finishes assessing your blood.

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

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#wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x yn #wanda x reader #Left Behind #wanda maximoff #avengers fanfic #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x reader

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rendevousz · 3 years

Text

reunited

req: i was wondering if i could request a natasha x teen daughter reader where the reader has really bad social anxiety please? maybe where the reader was in the red room with natasha but given to hydra once the red room was taken down and natasha has been looking for her ever since she left the red room. on a mission to take down a hydra base natasha finally finds reader, and it's super emotional for the both of them and they're just happy to have each other back. natasha knows about readers social anxiety from when she was younger and sees that it's only gotten worse now, so she's super sweet and understanding. she saves the reader from the base and comforts her the whole way home because she's scared of all of the new people also on the jet (the other avengers). the reader lives with natasha at the compound with everyone else and natasha is just great about her social anxiety and never pushes her out of her comfort zone and comforts her when she has panic attacks. sorry if that's a lot, but thank you so much! i love your fics sooo much, you're such an amazing writer!!! 💖💖💖

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat finally finds you after years of looking.

word count: 4083

notes: i didn't make them peers in the red room because then they'd have to be around the same ages but i made them meet at the red room. also i didn't know how to write about her having social anxiety so i hope you don't mind that i didn't 😓 hope you like this <33

"stop," madame b's authoritative voice commanded and all of you stopped dancing. all of your peers seemed to be struggling to stand still on their battered feet, some breathing heavily but who could blame them? you had all been instructed to dance for hours now. you had to dance until you couldn't anymore.

your head faced madame b but your eyes landed on your best friend, veronika, for a split second. she seemed in pain and you vowed to check on her after whatever announcement your supervisor had for you. you stood tall, clenching your jaw in order to not show that you were in pain or out of breath.

madame b's gaze flickered to you for a second, her lip lifting up on one side for a brief moment before her face hardened once again.

"i have someone special here today. she's here to observe your training and if necessary, teach what you girls lack. she has long graduated this academy, please welcome miss natasha romanova."

you jolted awake, panting hard at the memory that just played in your dreams. you looked around you, seeing the same cell wall you had been put in for the past three years. after the fall of the red room academy where you were from, another organisation came and swooped you in, not wanting to waste your skills. you were the only one they took, having heard much about your abilities and reputation in the red room.

the girls stood all around you and veronika, watching the two of you spar tirelessly after hours of endless ballet. natasha and madame b watched the match closely, eyes trained on your techniques and movements.

after natasha had introduced herself to all of you, madame b had instructed her supposedly two best students—you and veronika— to demonstrate a true spar between skilled assassins.

while you were reluctant to attack your best friend, she had other plans, one that included impressing her idol who stood mere metres away from her. you were shocked when she started attacking you. never had she obeyed a command against you so quick.

you had to put away your initial shock to start attacking back in order to not get hurt by the hands of your own best friend. the look in her eyes was different, almost animalistic. it wasn't like the one she had when you two were laid in your beds side to side at night, handcuffed to it while you talked about your deepest struggles being in the academy. it wasn't the same one she had when you reassured her that she was doing okay whenever she said she would never be as good as you were at this whole assassin thing. it wasn't the same innocently surprised one she had just moments ago when she was addressed as one of madame b's best students.

this wasn't your best friend. this was a girl blinded by her desire to impress. she wanted to show natasha that she was the better one out of you two. your heart broke when you saw her desperation. it was obvious in the way she fought you.

it wasn't long before you had her in a chokehold, the girl struggling to get your grip off of her. your face visibly faltered, eyes tearing up slightly when you heard her whimpers. natasha took notice of this.

your lips were quivering when you turned to madame b. a simple nod from your trainer had you whispering a strained 'i'm sorry, i love you' in her ear before you broke her neck. the girl fell limp in your arms, dropping down to the mat, dead. you panted heavily as you stepped away from her body.

"good. this is what i expect of all of you," madame b turns to your peers, the stone cold look back on her face. "one thing you need to perfect though, y/n, is your emotions. don't get emotional over things that don't matter. i saw your inner conflict. veronika would have no reluctancy to end you if you were the one in the chokehold. she was more mentally prepared to be a ruthless assassin. you're lucky you're more skilful than she is. she would have no hesitation to kill you, close companion or not."

you swallowed that lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks to prevent crying right then and there. "you have a lot of potential, y/n. don't let your emotions ruin it. i have high hopes for you." she spoke once again, before dismissing everyone.

you left the room with a heavy heart, turning to look at veronika's body one last time before leaving quickly so you could break down where no one else could witness.

you rushed to the staircase where you and veronika would sneak away all the time when you were supposed to be having lunch. you two would always sit under those stairs, talk about anything and everything you could. your tears were now freely rolling down your face.

"hey," you heard a voice say and you quickly wiped your tears away. you looked up and saw that it was none other than natasha. "miss romanova," you breathed out, scrambling to get up before she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, the woman seating herself next to you on the floor, under the staircase.

"that must've been hard for you," she spoke after a few seconds of silence. "i remember my first time killing an actual person in training. they had me shoot targets and i consistently got the bullseye every time. then they switched out the targets to an actual person and i had a hard time doing that. i can't imagine how it must've been for you. i heard you and veronika were quite the inseparable duo."

you didn't move to show that you were shattered over the current events but the millions of tears silently streaming down your face said otherwise. natasha turned to you, reaching to wipe your tears away before gently caressing your cheek.

"you're a strong one, y/n. you remind me of myself when i was still in training. i can see myself in you." she told you truthfully. she had no idea why but she felt a strong connection towards you. she felt that you and her had so much in common. she had a strange inclination to protect you even though she knew damn well you were capable of doing so yourself.

since then, she always dropped by to help train all of you but you and her developed a relationship so strong that she even told you of her plans to get you out of that hellhole. at that point, it had been a few months since she'd turned good but she kept coming to the academy for your sake. she felt a sense of responsibility over you, like a mother would over her daughter.

she would with the other girls too if they had shown at least a bit of humanity but it seemed that the red room had ruined them beyond fixing. despite being the best student of the academy, you still weren't inhumane like the rest. you would hesitate to hurt others, only doing so when threatened and even that, you still weren't as heartless or cruel.

madame b would always berate you over this but natasha would pick up the pieces every single time. you loved her. she was the best thing in your life after veronika and your heart broke when the red room fell and you were taken away. away from the mother you never had.

you awoke with a jolt again. it was the second night in a row you were reliving your past memories. you touched your face and you felt the tears on it, wiping them with your sleeve as you sat up in your cold, uncomfortable bed in your cell. you sighed, bringing your knees up to your chest and hugging them.

you couldn't help but think of nat again. what could've happened if she managed to get you out before you were taken away? could you have a nice life with her? would you never have to hide under the stairs to have emotional exchanges with the woman? would you finally have been able to be who you were, not influenced by the evil around you?

you never knew what it was like having a mother but you imagined it was what nat had been towards you during the times you spent together at the academy. you two were more mother and daughter rather than trainer and student.

all of a sudden, alarms blared through the building and red warning lights flickered in your cell. you stood up, peeking through the small glass of your cell door to see guards rushing through the hallways in a frenzy.

you assumed that the facility was under attack and no one was coming to save you. you didn't even try, walking back to your bed to return to your position of hugging your knees tightly to your chest.

you could hear the chaos outside but opted not to pay attention to it. it didn't involve you and if no one was coming to save you from whatever was attacking the place—not that anyone in that place would, you were merely an asset to them—you wouldn't bother worrying about whether you were going to live by the end of the night.

a loud bang interrupted your thoughts and you looked up to see your cell door had been forcefully thrown open by a large man in stripes, holding a circular shield. you immediately stood up, getting ready to attack him when he spoke.

"i'm not here to hurt you." he said, holding out a hand as if to tell you to stop whatever you were about to do. "we're here to save you. you can finally leave this place now." he says gently. you frown at him, still in a stance ready to attack him.

"cap, is there someone in this room?" a familiar voice spoke and your head immediately turned to the door, where the owner of the voice stood, mouth dropping open at the sight of you. your face softened and a tiny gasp left your lips at the sight of her.

"y/n...is that you?" she breathed out, walking towards you and not stopping when she saw that you weren't alarmed or anything. "nat.." you choked out, tears starting to form. how crazy was it that you had been having flashbacks of her for the past two nights and suddenly she was here to come save you?

"y/n!" she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. you knees buckled but she held onto you tightly, sniffling as she caressed your head gently. you buried your face in her shoulder as you took in the familiar feeling of being in her arms once again.

more tears started to form in your eyes now. never had you thought you were actually going to see her again. you lost the hope of seeing her again two years ago. but here she was, standing in your cell and hugging you like there would be no tomorrow.

your hugging session was cut short when steve sheepishly spoke up. "sorry to uh, interrupt this reunion but more guards are coming, i think it's best if we leave now." he picked up his shield, leading the three of you out of the facility safely and back to their quinjet. the whole time, nat held onto your hand tightly, as if letting go would lead to another few years of being apart once again.

once you reached the quinjet, nat led you to the seats in the back where you two would have more privacy. the team watched the two of you in confusion before turning back to steve for an explanation as he was the one who was partnered with nat for this mission. all the captain could tell them was that you two knew each other way before this and that all of them would have to wait for an explanation from nat herself if they wanted to know what was going on.

when you reached the compound, nat led you to her room where she lent you her clothes and let you shower before tucking you into her bed. when she was sure you were comfortably asleep, she left the room quietly to go grab a glass of water only to find the whole team sat in the common room instead of back in their own rooms.

she looked at them, confused. "guys, it's like almost the crack ass of dawn and we just got back from a mission, why aren't you asleep? or were you debriefing? in the common room? did i miss it?"

"no, you know debriefings for late night missions are the next morning. we were waiting for you actually," steve spoke on behalf of the whole team. "me? for what?"

"nat, c'mon, don't act stupid. you know what we're talking about," clint makes an unimpressed face at his best friend. nat sighs, taking a seat next to him and the team look at her expectantly. she cleared her throat, preparing for a whole story time.

"you know how i was from the red room?" she asked them and they all nodded, urging her to continue her story. "well, after i graduated, i was asked to come help train the younger ones in the programme. during that time, i met this girl. she reminded me a lot of my younger self and she didn't seem completely brainwashed to the point where she lacked emotions. i grew close to her and after i met clint and joined SHIELD, i vowed to get her out of there because she went through a lot in that hellhole and i could tell she didn't want to do any of the things that the other girls were fine doing.

"she had a good heart and i didn't want it to be wasted. she was the best in the academy and i knew they had big plans for her. but i didn't want her to be programmed to kill. she was much more than that. so i made this whole plan for her escape. i kept going back to the academy to come see her and share my plan with her. clint, you always asked me where i kept disappearing to when we first started becoming friends. it was her. the people there didn't know i was already under SHIELD at that time—nobody did—so it was safe for me to keep visiting and keep planning an escape for her.

"but three years ago, the red room fell. i rushed over because i thought i could finally leave with her without anyone knowing. but apparently she'd been taken away. she was the only one of the girls who was taken. by who, i didn't know at that time. but i knew it was because of her skills and abilities. if the red room had big plans for her, i knew other organisations must've already heard of her too.

"i never stopped looking for her. i don't know why i never thought of HYDRA. but it doesn't matter anymore. i finally found her and i'm never letting her go. i hope you guys don't mind that she lives here now. if not, i'll move out and find somewhere for us."

the team seemed surprised that nat told them her story. they were very much expecting her to, well, not tell them because this seemed like a very personal story.

"no, no, of course she can stay. i'll even set up another room for her." tony says and nat nods gratefully. "what's her name?" wanda asks.

"y/n," nat tells her, smiling at the thought of you as she stands up. "alright, i have to go back to her. see you guys in the morning. maybe you'll get to see her then."

she bids them goodnight, leaving after grabbing a glass of water for you in case you woke up in the middle of the night, in need of it. she wasn't wrong because when she got back to her room, you were up, hugging your knees as you cried.

"hey, hey, hey, what's wrong, sugar?" she quickly puts the glass of water on the bedside table, sitting on the bed and pulling you close to her. you look up at her all teary-eyed and she feels her heart break.

"i–i thought i lost you again," you croaked out, burying your face in her shoulder. "oh, sugar, you'll never lose me ever again. i'll never let that happen. you're safe here with me. now sleep, i'll be here when you wake up." she stroked your hair gently, laying down next to you on the bed before you two fell into a blissful slumber in each other's arms.

true to her words, she was right next to you when you woke up the next time. she seemed wide awake and you felt bad because she probably had been up hours before but didn't leave you because you were scared.

"how'd you sleep, sugar?" she asked as you sat up, stretching. "the best i have in years. thanks to you, nat." you smiled at her, still not believing all of this is real. that you're finally reunited with the woman you thought of as your mother.

"do you want to meet my friends? they're dying to meet you," she tells you and you bite your lips nervously. "do you think they'll like me?"

"are you crazy? of course they will. and if they don't, i'll make them." she threatens playfully and you laugh, missing how protective of you she is. you smile, agreeing to her suggestions to meet her friends after you got ready for the day.

"hi, sweetie, you're y/n?" a man with fancy silk pyjamas greeted as you entered the common room with natasha. you nodded timidly, scooting closer to natasha. it was weird for natasha to see you this nervous. after all, you were the best student of your batch in the red room. but she understood that years with no actual social interaction does that to people.

"i hope you'll like staying here, i already have your room setting up as of right now. when you move in, you can tell me if you don't like anything and i'll change it for you. oh, i forgot, i'm tony," he extends a hand towards you and with an encouraging nod from nat, you hesitantly shake his hand. he smiles at you before telling you both he has projects to finish down in his lab and to tell him if you needed anything.

"hey, nat, not gonna introduce your friend to us?" you heard a voice from behind you and you two turned around to see two men and a woman. you recognised both men—one of them was the one who broke into your cell last night and the other one you had seen him a lot from pictures nat would show you during your secret meetings in your red room days. he was her best friend. you didn't know the woman but the kind smile on her face was enough to reassure you that these people weren't bad.

"y/n, meet clint, the idiot who i call best friend," she points to the shorter man. the name nat called him must've offended him because the face he made was hilarious that you let out a little giggle. nat smiles at this before proceeding to introduce the other two.

"this one's steve, he's an old man stuck in a young body—literally— so if he says things you don't understand, just smile and nod." you nod at nat and steve gives her an incredulous look, as if not believing the audacity she had to introduce him like that.

"this one's wanda, she's the least annoying person in this whole place and she can cook whatever you want so i think you two will get along really well." wanda smiles at you and you return it shyly. you smile at the other two before nat drags you away, telling them she still had others to introduce you to.

when you entered the kitchen, you saw a man reading a newspaper on the kitchen island while another man, whose skin was red, stood beside him. they seemed to be discussing something very intelligent because you didn't understand a single word they spoke.

"bruce, vision, i want you to meet someone." they turned their attentions towards you and nat and you immediately felt like hiding once again. "oh hello, steve told us you brought back someone from the mission. is this her? hello, i'm bruce," the man sitting down introduced himself.

"wait, is this the bruce?" you asked nat, smirking teasingly at her and she smacks you gently on the shoulder. the man seemed flustered at what you're insinuating, scratching his neck awkwardly.

"bruce, vision, this is y/n, i've known her for a long time and i finally found her after years so i hope you two won't mind that she'll be staying here from now on," nat tells them. the two of them didn't come on the mission last night so they were the only two who didn't actually see you until today.

"it's nice to meet you, y/n. i'm vision, i hope you'll enjoy your stay here." the man with the red skin greets formally and you turn to nat with a confused expression. "he's an android, he does things a bit weird here so don't mind him." she whispers to you and you nod understandingly.

"it's nice to meet you two, i hope we'll be good friends." you say awkwardly, hoping to get this whole introduction thing over with. how many people do you have left to meet?

speaking of the devil—or should you say, devils—, two annoying voices rang through the kitchen, interrupting the peacefulness that it was before they came in.

"i'm just saying that if you hadn't eaten my last bag of chips last week, i wouldn't have taken your cookies last night. it's all about fair play, man."

"and i keep telling you that it wasn't me! i don't even like those stupid salty ass chips from that brand,"

"stop lying, i saw you eating that brand the other day! just admit you stole my chips and go,"

"guys, are you really having another one of your stupid arguments now?" nat cuts them off and they immediately turned to you, finally noticing all of you.

"oh hey! y/n, right? it's nice to meet you, i'm sam. if you wanna survive in this place, you better hide your snacks because if you don't, this winter warrior here will snatch 'em all before you can even stash them in the cupboards. don't ever trust this guy here when it comes to your snacks. you heard what happened to mine," the man fakes a cry and you held back a laugh at his long introduction. you only wanted a name to match the face but he gave you much more. you didn't mind though, he seemed like a fun person.

"hi, doll, i'm bucky. don't listen to eagle right here, i do not steal snacks. i simply let people have a taste of their own medicine. you steal my snacks, wilson, i steal 'em back. you think i don't know you stole my oreos too last month? that's why i stole your damn chips last week,"

"so you did steal them!"

"so what if i did?! you stole my oreos first!"

"oh my god, guys, you're really embarrassing me in front of y/n. these are really the people i was excited to introduce her to," nat face-palmed and you couldn't help but laugh. "don't worry nat, these people seem amazing. i can't wait to get to know them better." you assured her and she smiles, pulling you close to her. "buckle up, sugar, because living with the avengers is gonna be a wild ride."

you were excited for what was about to come. it seemed like everything was finally falling into place. you finally got nat back and you didn't have to worry about losing her again because you had a feeling these people weren't going to let that happen.

taglist <3

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#marvel x teen!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #bruce banner x teen!reader #bucky barnes x teen!reader #clint barton x teen!reader #sam wilson x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #tony stark x teen!reader #mcu x teen!reader #mcu x reader #avenger!reader #wanda maximoff x teen!reader

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 4 years

Text

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

#athenawrites #my writing #exophilia #monster lover #orc lover #orc x human #monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #orc x reader #monster x human #requests #fiction #terato #romance #monster romance #orc

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