#if anyone read this to the end you can have a medal

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Sending you lots of love. And I feel you on the leg hair thing. My own hair is thick and grows rather long everywhere. When I shave my legs in the evening the next morning they already feel like my grandfather's cheek. It's hopeless. But babes don't feel ashamed of going to the salon. Body i hair is perfectly natural and not gross and all the people working there see lots of body hair every single day. Nobody will think anything weird, I promise. What music are currently listening to? I'm fully back in my Enya era these days (the music that accompanied my early childhood). I hope the rest of this Friday is kinder to you and that you'll have a beautiful weekend💝💝

This anon made me tear up when I first read it and every time I've re-read it, I've had the same result. Thank you so much 🥹 I always feel weird talking about hair removal with friends because almost everyone who removes hair either 1) has no issue with any methods they use or 2) has blonde hair so it doesn't need to be done as regularly. Meanwhile I'm over here feeling like I'm fighting for my life just trying to remove unwanted hair without irritating or damaging my skin, ESPECIALLY in my inner thigh area lol (which is why I so seldom bother unless I expect to be sexually active bc I'm like "BRO that took me like over an hour to do last time, now I gotta do it all over again?!?! Fuck off"... which also sometimes influences how often I'm willing to be sexually active lol. It's a vicious cycle lmao and i fucking hate it ♡).

I'm gonna go back to razors for the moment and maybe go to a salon sometime. And I'm absolutely getting that hair lasered off once I'm settled in a particular place, sale or no sale.

I think one reason I'm so upset about it atm is because I *KNOW* it's such a stupid and ridiculous thing to be upset about (there are fucking wars happening and I'm upset over some long leg hair on my own body that I know naturally grows there? Gtfo) but I also feel so stupid about it affecting my confidence so much. I'm the type who prefers wearing dark tights anyway, hair or no hair, but that isn't always viable when it's warm. Or maybe i just feel like a change! And I have no problem with body hair on others at all, yet for some reason I've a problem if I show mine lol. Anyway WHATEVER, I have something internalised but I've no idea what and I've tried managing it in the past but I think tonight really just proved I need to fix my shit.

In terms of music, I'm REALLY vibing with the Succession Season 1 soundtrack atm. It makes a girl dream ;P AND motivates me to get my shit done, hahaha. Oooh Enya is so beautiful and ethereal 💖🩷🤍✨️ Also the fact she lives as a recluse in a castle and seems to live comfortably is just...ICONIC!!

Anyway, thank you again for your kind words. I know it's silly to say but it really meant a lot (I keep tearing up as I answer you 😅). I'm starting a new chapter in my life this weekend (if all goes according to plan) and it's going to be scary but also necessary. I've wanted this new start for a long time and I can't believe it is slowly beginning, bit by bit. I sincerely hope you have a wonderful weekend, too. 💖🩷💛✨️

[lilacsupernova]

*Note: Tumblr might say reblogs have been turned off for this post. They haven't!*

(Also: I have a deeper, updated dive coming soon!)

Some commentary on the Imane Khelif & Lin Yu Ting boxing situation

I read these two as male. Nothing has indicated they are trans-identifying but the image of Imane Khelif as a child might indicate him being raised as a girl due to having a DSD. This is irrelevant to whether he should compete as a woman though. Both athletes have XY chromosomes – which if untrue they could do a simple cheek swab to prove they're women (as if they wouldn't already know from not having periods etc.). This would only need to be done once, and is less invasive than regular doping tests all athletes do! If XY chromosomes are found (as they already have been), they should do as Erik Schinegger did in 1968 and refuse to compete in the women's category anymore.

Claims this is a big conspiracy where the IBA are lying due to corruption are illogical. The claim they only disqualified Khelif and Yu Ting so they couldn't beat Russian boxers is false. While it sounds like they are corrupt due to Russian influence, and they ordered the DNA tests, the tests themselves were performed independently and showed they had XY chromosomes. Based on this info, and their women-have-XX-chromosomes policy the IBA banned them from competing in the women's category. Think about it, how bold (and stupid) would it be to falsely claim these two aren't female, given how easily that claim could be disproved?

Plus, if we're going to throw around corruption claims, how about the IOC? Who we know are happy to allow men to compete in the women's category based on their baffling and nonsensical rules (including no presumption of advantage based on sex)? Who ended sex-verification screening in 2000? Something Independent Council on Women’s Sports (ICONS) co-founder Marshi Smith has condemned, saying it allows the Yu Ting/Khelif issue to even be a thing. The IOC who decided they could compete as women based on passport sex markers? (Which we know can be legal fictions). Who previously allowed Caster Semenya - a man with a DSD, XY chromosomes and undescended testes - to compete as a woman? Who allowed Semenya, Francine Niyonsaba and Margaret Nyairera Wambui to take all three medals at the Rio 2016 women's 800m? I see far more evidence for how corruption is affecting the IOC's view in this matter than the IBA's.

I will also remind everyone (including radfems) that all because a corrupt/'bad'/bad person said something, it does not necessarily mean what they're saying is false! We know the words of radfems/GC people/anyone can be disregarded and derided because they've been branded a 'TERF', but that does not indicate the veracity of their words! The strength of their claims / arguments do. (I wish I could find that meme about a priest saying the sky is blue or something like that). I'm not telling you to believe what I'm saying because I'm saying it; do your own research, think critically, and make up your own minds based on the evidence.

The boxers in question:

Lin Yu Ting is guaranteed a bronze medal at minimum in the Women's 57kg due to making the semifinals (both boxers who lose the semis get bronze, the winners compete in the final for gold). His semi is 7 August at 9.30pm (all times Paris time) against Turkey's Esra Yildiz Kahraman, and the final will be 10 August at 9.30pm (worth watching anyway to support the women!).

Imane Khelif is also guaranteed a bronze minimum in the 66kg Women's category. He plays Janjaem Suwannapheng from Thailand on 6 August at 10.34pm. If he reaches the final, it's 9 August at 10.51pm.

What other boxers have said:

Svetlana Staneva of Bulgaria protested by refusing to shake Lu Ting's hand and making an X symbol after she was defeated by him 5-0.

Angela Carini burst into tears and refused to shake Khelif's hands after choosing to forfeit the match due the fearing for her safety due the strength of his punches. She later issued an apology, which frankly I suspect she was pressured into in order to be allowed to continue to box.

Brianda Tamara from Mexico also alluded to the strength of Khelif's blows, saying "when I fought with her I felt very out of my depth. Her blows hurt me a lot, I don’t think I had ever felt like that in my 13 years as a boxer, nor in my sparring with men. Thank God that day I got out of the ring safely, and it’s good that they finally realized."

Caitlin Parker, the Australian boxing captain says "I don't agree with [Khelif and Yu Ting] being allowed to compete in sport, especially combat sports. It can be incredibly dangerous. It's not like I haven't sparred men before. But you know it can be dangerous for combat sports and it should be seriously looked into. Yes, biologically … genetically they are going to have more advantages. I really hope the organisations get their act together so that boxing can continue to be at the Olympics. It's the oldest Olympic sport. Women's boxing was only introduced in 2012 and I want to see it for the next 100, 200 years to come." (She competes in the 75kg semifinal on 8 August at 10.02pm).

Santiago Nieva, an Australian boxing coach, and Marissa Williamson, who could have met Khelif in the 66kg category disagree. Only the male coach is quoted, however.

Hergie Bacyadan, a female Filipina boxer who identifies as a trans male (but hasn't taken testosterone) on the other hand agrees with Parker, saying through a translator "in sparring it's OK, but if they have XY chromosomes in competition, they should abide by the rules."

Former women's world champion Mária Kovács has wryly remarked that in modern women's boxing "there is a 20 percent chance that one of the athletes will suffer a testicular injury." She also discouraged Hungary's Anna Luca Hámori from competing against Khelif. Hámori posted an AI picture on Instagram of a female boxer fighting a devil and referred to Khelif as a man, for which the Algerian Olympic Committee submitted a complaint to the IOC, and forced her to delete it and apologise to Khelif. She was then defeated by Khelif 5-0 in the quarterfinal, hugging him afterwards. (Similar situation to Carini?)

What others have said:

An open letter calling for the IOC the reverse its decision to allow Yu Ting and Khelif to compete, and to reinstate sex screening has been signed by the likes of: Sharron Davies, Riley Gaines, Martina Navratrilova, Fair Play for Women, Save Women's Sport Australasia, Women's Declaration International, and more.

Dr Emma Hilton, a developmental biologist, has done research which found "a male boxer's punch is 160% more powerful than a woman's". (Unfortunately the article doesn't cite which study, and I don't have access to her articles to determine which one it is). She considers "this decision to include two men (Khelif and Yu-ting) in women's boxing to be extremely worrying, both for the safety and well-being of the female boxers against whom these two men will be competing."

Lastly, the UN's special rapporteur on violence against women and girls Reem Alsalem has said Carini "rightly followed her instincts and prioritised her physical safety, but she and other female athletes should not have been exposed to this physical and psychological violence based on their sex."

Other commentary:

Here is some commentary from IreneBritUSA, Karen Davis of You're Kidding, Right?, Aja the Empress, Marshi Smith (co-founder of ICONS), Jennifer Sieland, Anna Slatz, Dr Colin Wright (an evolutionary biologist), Meghan Murphy and Mary Lou Singleton (upcoming), and Doriane Lambelet Coleman. Note several WoC are speaking out!

[mcflymemes]

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (1989) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

i hate these guys.

this is a new experience for me.

it happens to me all the time.

you lost today, [name]. but that doesn't mean you have to like it.

may we go home now, please?

i've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.

he sticks out like a sore thumb. we'll find him.

does anyone here speak english?

what are you hiding?

archaeology is the search for fact, not truth.

forget any ideas you've got about lost cities, exotic travel, and digging up the world.

we do not follow maps to buried treasure, and "x" never... ever marks the spot.

70% of all archaeology is done in the library. researching. reading.

we cannot afford to take mythology at face value.

help me get us out of here.

are you kidding? i made all that up.

she talks in her sleep.

try not to talk.

give me your other hand. i can't hold on.

i can get it. i can almost reach it.

[name], let it go.

those people are trying to kill us.

i didn't know you could fly a plane.

our situation has not improved.

i'm as human as the next man.

i'm like a bad penny, i always turn up.

throw down the gun or the girl will die.

no! don't shoot!

please do what he says!

[name], what are you doing here?

head for the fireplace!

why are you sitting there resting when we're so near the end?

don't look at me like that.

i would have done anything to get it. you would have done the same.

i'm sorry you think so.

i'll never forgive myself.

thank god... it's fake.

look, can we discuss this later?

i came here to save you!

look what you did! i can't believe what you did!

i'll never forget how wonderful it was.

you have chosen wisely.

did you intend to leave us standing on the doorstep all day?

now look, i've gone and caught a sniffle.

don't take that tone with me!

this is the second time i've had to reclaim my property from you.

that belongs in a museum.

why are you trying to kill us?

my soul is prepared. how's yours?

what have you brought?

i'm sorry about your head. i thought that you were one of them.

you came back for the book?

is that what you think of me?

who gives a damn what you believe?

follow me. i know the way.

i find that if i just sit down to think... the solution presents itself.

in this sort of race, there's no silver medal for finishing second.

we didn't talk. we've never talked.

what are you complaining about?

you could go down in history.

you're going the wrong way.

the pen is mightier than the sword.

are you crazy? don't go between them!

my reputation preceeds me.

it would make me very happy.

shooting me won't get you anywhere.

we're well out of range.

you call this archaeology?

we are on the verge of completing a quest that began almost two thousand years ago.

we're just one step away.

since i've met you, i've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait.

we're caught in the middle of something sinister here.

you're a great deal like your father.

how dare you kiss me.

leave me alone. i don't like fast women.

you say this has been just another typical day for you, huh?

you're meddling with powers you can't possibly comprehend.

if only i could have been there with you.

[strawhbrrries]

Ride, Cowgirl.

pairing: dbf!southern!frank castle x afab!reader

summary: neither of you can keep last night off your mind, needing more Frank finds comfort in your room.

warnings: age gap (reader is 22, frank is 52), use of pet names, dirty dirty thoughts!!!, mention of a divorced dad?, fingering, sex!!, praise kink asf, oral (f receiving), soft frank, reader calls him frankie accidentally, frank making noise in bed, riding like a cowgirl!!, bearded frank <3, no mentions of y/n, no descriptions of reader, not proofread

word count: 3514 words

author’s note: I’m in love with darlin’ and frank, they are simply the lomls currently. anyway, the end gives the perfect set up for a third part if it is desired!! In the meantime, it’s 1;30 am for me and I need sleep!! please enjoy &lt;3

read the first part cowgirl ! and the next part cowboy hats !

Boyfriend by COIN played on the speaker your dad, conveniently, left outside as you laid on one of the pool loungers.  Thoughts of Frank consuming your mind, thoughts of his hands and his voice and the way he smelled and how he looked pain that he couldn’t fuck you in the backseat of his truck. Your fingers finding themselves rubbing the side of your neck, the very spot Frank had found comfort. 

“So how did last night go?” Tiff asked, hanging over the side of the pool to look at you. Your heart raced, did she find out? How would she? Did you accidentally call her when you were panting his name like it was the only word you knew? The way you froze as she asked a simple question, immediately made her suspicious of you.

“Huh?” You asked, in hopes of getting her to elaborate just a bit so you could come up with the lie of your life. Or maybe, you should confide in her. She is your girl for life, it’s not like she’s gonna judge you for doing it. If anything, she’d praise you and beg for details.

“After I left? How did the rest of the night go? Your dad doesn’t have the most interesting friends on the planet. All they talk about is work and their lack of wives.” She rolled her eyes, laying her head on her hands and kicking her legs in the water. 

“Actually…” You smiled, bringing your knees up to your chest to hide behind them as the blush spread across your body.

“Oh. My. God. Hold on!” She rushed to climb out of the pool, dripping water all over you as she sat on the opposite end of the lounger. If gossiping was a team sport, the two of you would have ten gold medals, if anyone asked you weren’t necessarily talking shit but simply saying how you felt about people.

“So, after you left, Frank and I went to the gas station and I asked if he had been with anyone younger. I don’t know what got into me, Tiff! He just looked so…godly. I wanted to jump his bones the second I came downstairs from changing.” You covered your face with your hands and groaned, the blush was probably becoming permanent at this point. You were going to be bright red for the rest of your life.

“Your dad’s best friend?! Holy shit dude. C’mon spill!” She laughed, prying the hands off your face and sitting expectantly. You were beyond grateful for the fact she wasn’t judging you and was actually interested. Maybe that was a bad thing, you didn’t care.

“Anyway, he said ‘Not yet’ and I was in shock or something! So, I reached over and kinda did a weird caress thing to his beard. I was flyin’ by the seat of my swimsuit, I’ve never been with a man who has any sort of facial hair. But he kissed me, and I mean like Really kissed me.i’ve never been kissed like that before, Tiff. Mind blowing.” Unbeknownst to you, the very man you were speaking about had walked out the back door and could hear the whole conversation. His chest swelled with pride, in some fucked up way he was glad no one had ever kissed you like that. It meant there was a lot more he could do way better than any of the other people you’d been with, and he’d be damned if he didn’t ruin you for any other man out there.

“Your dad is about to come out here, suggest you find somethin’ else to talk ‘bout.” He hollered at the two of you, your head whipping around so fast it was a miracle you didn’t give yourself whiplash, chuckling at the way your eyes widened when you realized he had heard you talking about him. “Quit speakin’ so damn loud anyway, sure the whole neighborhood heard.”

Frank didn’t truly mean what he said, he would love to listen to you retell the story of your escapades, what he didn’t want was your father to hear and put two and two together. He didn’t need to get into some shitty mess with the one constant in his life, he owed more to your dad than he cared to admit and ruining that friendship would send Frank to an early grave. That in no way meant he regretted what he did last night, and everything else he planned to do. He simply wanted to go about all this in a way that wouldn’t cost him his friendship but still gives him his girl, gives him you. He prayed for the first time last night, and he really truly prayed, for a situation where it all works out and he’s not back to square one. With nobody. Again. 

“Thanks for the warning, Mr. Castle.” Tiff shouted back, a smug smile playing on her face, giving him a small wave. She nudged your shoulders, giggling at the whole situation. All you wanted to do was shrink and disappear, you couldn’t be more embarrassed. You felt small and helpless, your best friend thought it was hilarious. God if you can hear me, please kill me.

You spent the whole morning thinking about him and the consequence of what you did, how would your next interaction go? Would it be weird? Would he pretend it never happened, that he wasn’t dying to have you right then and there. Yet, here you were no true interaction but you were the one cowering away from it. You were the one trying to pretend like it didn’t happen, when truthfully you wanted to shout it from the rooftops and let everyone know who had given you the best orgasm of your life.

“I’m going to shrink to the size of ant and drown myself in the fuckin’ pool, Tiff. I swear to god.” You slouched as far down in the lounger as you could, squeezing your eyes closed in some desperate attempt to make it all disappear. “Of course he would be here right now.”

“Ants don’t have lungs, they can’t technically drown. Besides, it’s not like he came out here and murdered you, all he did was tell you to be quieter. He also made no indication or mention of last night, so stop lettin’ that pretty head of yours go wild.” Tiff rubbed her hand soothing up and down your arm, she knew better than anyone the way your mind would take someone breathing at you and interpret it as they hate you and want you dead. That’s why she worked so well with you, the sane and grounded to your wild and anxious. 

“I don’t think it would matter even if he did, the principle of it all is what’s causing my worries. Do you think worry dolls are still a thing? I could most definitely use one right now.” A groan once again left your mouth, your eyes opening and searching for the older man who was carrying planks of wood across your backyard. Your father walked out of the house, giving you and Tiff a wave before hollering at Frank about whatever they were building.

The whispers and giggles coming from the two of you were intriguing Frank, he wanted to know exactly what you were telling her and what you were intentionally leaving out. He wanted to know if you were even talking about him, or if she was telling you the real reason that I just left abruptly last night. Because he knew, he wouldn’t say anything to you about it unless you brought it up first, but he knew. The work in front of him was becoming increasingly less interesting, he was so close to telling your dad to throw in the towel and call it a day. He didn’t even know what he was building anymore, he truthfully didn’t care but your dad did. That was enough for him to keep going.

“Those two have been out all day, shockin’ they’re not burnt or nothin’.” Your dad commented, planting his shovel in the ground and leaning against it. He smiled your way, not that you noticed as you were preoccupied with Tiff. You were his pride and joy, his baby. He’d murder anyone for you, it was a part of the reason you never brought anyone home. 

“‘M not shocked. Last summer, I’m not sure either one of em spent any more than twenty minutes inside. Make sure she- they wear sunscreen, don’t need em getting skin cancer.” Frank was quick to correct himself, not that your dad would’ve found anything wrong with his original statement but he was covering all his bases. Not that he didn’t care for the other girl, Tiff was her name? He didn’t need to know her name, not when he knew yours. 

“I’ll make sure to pick some up from the store the next time we make it to the grocery, I know my girl wears some. Not sure ‘bout her friend.” His girl. The words made Frank irrationally angry, you were his daughter but the thought of someone else staking claim over you drove him mad. One night with you and he was acting, and thinking, like you were his wife. Wife. No.

Frank had met your father when you were nineteen, hadn’t met you until you were twenty. It wasn’t like he was truly doing anything wrong but he was going to fight a never ending mental battle about you. Going through every hoop to tell himself neither of you was doing anything wrong, that you weren’t going to be in trouble for your actions. That it was, simply, okay.

The sun was setting, the breeze taking over and raising the hair on your skin. You truly had been outside all day, with sunscreen reapplied every hour or so, you were bound to find a few sunburnt spots in your shower. You exchanged goodbyes with Tiff and made your way to your room to start the nightly routine you had adopted since being home, switching the bluetooth from the speaker outside to the one inside your room. You opened the window, your music slowly starting to dance with the breeze, when a soft knock on your door grabbed your attention.

“Hey cowgirl.” Frank whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard over your music, making his way into your room and studying it. Committing all the bits and pieces of it to his memory.

“I’m so sorry about earlier, if you don’t want me to tell Tiff anymore I won’t. I just, I tell her everything and I needed to tell someone.” Your cheeks slowly started turning pink, Frank thought you were cute like that.

“Don’t apologize, darlin’. I didn’t care, just warnin’ ya ‘bout your dad is all.” He walked closer to you, his height very apparent, your head the perfect height for his chest. He brought a finger up to your cheek, dragging it down before tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“I appreciate it, I know how much he means to you.” No you didn’t. He knew you knew a small bit not enough to truly understand what the two of you meant to him. He would be forever indebted to your father if it meant keeping you, if it meant holding you and kissing you. Consuming himself with you.

“So pretty.” He truly whispered, admiring every inch of your face, leaning down to kiss you. Your heart stopped, he didn’t regret it? He thought you were pretty?

You decided to stop fucking thinking for once and enjoy it, leaning up to meet him halfway in the kiss. Threading your fingers through his hair, much like he did with yours in his truck. One his hands held the side of your face while the other tucked itself into the waistband of your swimsuit bottoms, rubbing at the indentation it left from being worn all day. 

“Ready to ride, cowgirl?” He asked, pulling away from the kiss enough to nip at your jaw as he waited for an answer. He wouldn’t be mad if you said no, he would be patient and wait until you were, but he went home and fucked his hand like a horny teenage boy at the thought of you on top of him.

A whimper is all you managed to respond with, your mind momentarily thinking about your dad but was interrupted by the softness of your mattress touching your back. 

“Goddamn swimsuits, prancing around in practically nothing.” He remarked, still standing as he eyed your body. His finger snapped the strap of your bottoms, smirking at the sound before he dragged them down your legs. 

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked softly, making him burst into laughter. 

“For what?” He responded, controlling his laughter at the fact you would ask that right now. 

“So I can wear one that color the next time you’re over.” You smiled, looking up at him. Somehow he looked even prettier from this angle, if that was possible. 

“Uh, probably red.” He gave a bit of thought before responding, curious to know if you would actually be wearing a bikini the next time you saw him. At your house, anyway. 

He stashed the bikini bottoms in his back pocket, pulling you to the edge of the bed by your ankles and getting down on his knees. Frank thanked all the heavens and the stars for the meal he was about to eat right before licking a stripe through your folds and sucking on your clit. The stimulation instinctively caused your thighs to close, causing him to force them back open and lay one arm across a leg with his hand splayed across your stomach.

He moaned.

He moaned.

Frank moaned, was he enjoying this as much as you were? Were there any downsides or faults to this man? 

He moved his mouth closer to your clit, paying almost all his attention to it as he inserted his middle finger slowly. A wanton moan making its way to his ears, he thought everything about you was pretty. If he wasn’t rock hard when he took your bottoms off, he definitely was now. The stretch in his jeans was not entirely comfortable, it truthfully wouldn’t be able to accommodate much more. 

“Frank, Frankie, please..” 

Did you just- did he imagine that? He’d never had anyone call him that before, but it sounded so damn good coming from your lips.

“What, pretty girl? Use your words for me. Tell Frankie what you need.” 

“‘M so close, please need more.” You whined, to him it even sounded a bit like you were going to cry. He’s bet his life savings you were a pretty crier, a pretty anything. He just wanted to look at you. Always.

All he wanted to do was pull out his phone and record the pleas and the moans coming from you, to listen to later if you were ever ripped from him and he didn’t get to experience this, experience you, ever again. If it weren’t for your fucking music. He was thankful for it, blocking your sounds from anyone in the house. He added his ring finger into the mix, relishing in the sound you made. You were his drug, he truly was addicted. He needed his next fix before this one was over. 

Moments after he sped up his fingers and added more pressure to your clit, your orgasm ripped through you. Body shaking, eyes rolling back. This was better than the one he gave you last night. You’d never be able to touch yourself ever again, not the way he did. You didn’t think anyone could ever compare now that Frank had touched you. 

By the time you came to, he had discarded his clothes and was on top of you. He pulled you into a kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip and groaning into your mouth when you let him in. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth while his fingers explored every inch of your body. 

“I don’t have a condom.” He confessed.

“Don’t care, on the pill. Frankie please, I need you inside of me right now. Need your cock, frankie..please.” The sound of you begging for him had his ego going through the roof, the fact that anyone could want or need him this bad was mind blowing. 

He rubbed his cock through your folds, kissing you a bit more before he pushed the tip in. Your mouth opening in a gasp. You knew he was big, you saw the imprint in the truck yesterday. But this was different, the stretch hurt in a delicious way that you needed more of. He waited a moment before pushing in a bit more, toying with your clit and peppering your face with kisses to distract you.

He bottomed out, you had never felt so full in your life. You swore he was in your stomach, taking rearranging your guts to a new level. He stayed still, letting you get used to his size. He didn’t want to hurt you, too much.

“Frankie move.” 

Your wish was his command. His thrusts started slowly, building up in speed as he went. It was at this point, you realized Frank Castle was not quiet in bed. He wasn’t necessarily loud either, but he was groaning in your ear. The grunts and the groans were spurring you on, your moans and whimpers were doing the same for it. It was a cycle, and if either of you had your way it would never end. 

“Sound so damn pretty. Makin’ all these noises for me, huh? My pretty girl, my girl.” He put all his weight on his forearms, lifting himself enough to look you in the eyes, his hair falling out of place and onto your face. He was gorgeous, especially like this. Raw. Vulnerable. Just for you. 

“Your girl, yours.” You babbled, too busy reeling in the feeling of his cock driving in and out of you. How his bare skin feels on yours. His voice praising you. Calling you pretty. 

“That’s right, such a good girl.” His praises continued, some of them too muffled for you to hear as he sucked on your collarbone. Or your neck. Any exposed skin he could get in his mouth. 

Without pulling out, he flipped the two of you over so you were on top. Riding him. Cowgirl. 

“C’mon cowgirl, ride me. You can do it baby.” He lifted your hips up and placed them back down to get you started, placing your hands on his chest for you.  He slipped one of your boobs out of the top, you were still wearing, and put your nipple in his mouth. Rolling the bud between his teeth, enjoying the new sounds he managed to get.

You placed your weight on your hands, positioning your legs right, and lifted back up. He was somehow even deeper than before, it was almost overwhelming. His pelvic bone was hitting your clit just right every time you came down, accompanied by his groans, you were a goner. You fell into his chest as you felt your second orgasm start to rip through you, your words slurred as you told him to use you. You were his to use. 

Frank had been close since he put you on top, his self control had been wearing a bit thin. He fucked you through your orgasm, pistioning up inside you like his life depended on it. 

“Where do you want it, c’mon baby where?” He grunted, gritting his teeth as he tried to hold his release off. It was getting increasingly harder when your cunt was gripping him like that.

“Inside.” Is all you muttered out, half aware of your choice. You’d deal with it later. 

Not a moment later he painted your inside white, cummimg with a low and long groan. Relaxing his head completely against your pillows, taking deep breaths. You crumpled against his chest, just resting for a moment as he was still inside you. This was the most relaxed you’d been in ages, at some point you drifted off to sleep. 

You were awoken by the feeling of Frank cleaning you up and putting a blanket on top of you, obviously you knew he couldn’t stay. It still hurt. It hurt your heart, your soul, your everything. 

“Gotta go, pretty girl. I put my number in your phone. We’ll talk later.” His last sentence meant more than just texting you, you both knew it. At some point, lines had to be drawn or you had to fess up to your dad. But for now you’d live in delusion, in a world where you were in an established relationship and no one thought anything of it. He placed a kiss on your forehead, finished getting dressed and got up to leave. Stopping at the door he turned around to give you one last glance, you had already fallen back asleep. His cowgirl.

[flemingsfreckles]

Physio’s Daughter Pt. 9

Read the rest of the series here

Warnings: nothing too crazy, probably a curse word or two, some pg13 making out (maybe a little more than pg13, there’s straddling and some grinding involved)

WC: 4.0k

A/N: I think this series will have 1-3 more parts and then it will be over, I’m running out of plot ideas for it, if there’s anything you want to see in the last few chapters send them to me and I’ll see what I can do!

You both look at each other across the hotel room. Neither of you are sure what to say, what to do, now that you’re finally alone. You’re finally in a place you won’t be interrupted by her teammates, other staff, anyone. You watch Jessie take off her medal and the jacket of her tracksuit placing both into the bathroom.

She then moves, sitting down on the end of what you assumed was her bed. A stack of books and a kindle on the nightstand next to the water bottle you’ve come to see her carry everywhere, making it more clear it was hers. She lets out a sigh before starting to take off her shoes. You just watch, not sure what to say or what to do.

Do you make a move? When’s the next time you two will have an empty hotel room, if you want to do anything with her, now was your chance. It would be so easy to gently cup her chin, pull her lips to yours, push her back on the bed and climb on top of her. But your feet remain stuck to the ground, your shoulder pressed to the wall as you lean awkwardly still in the entrance of the room. You weren’t used to being nervous around her, you had been the first few days you were with the team but that wasn’t explicitly because of Jessie. But now being alone with her, the anticipation was getting to you.

Jessie’s shoes fall to the floor with a thud and you’re brought out of your thoughts, you bend down to remove your own shoes, neatly placing them against the wall.

“You know you can come in? You don’t have to stand in the doorway all night.” Jessie’s smiling at you as she looks at where you’re standing.

“Right.” You push yourself off the wall and take two steps in Jessie’s direction. You look over at the desk with the chair, you could sit there, there was also a bench you could sit on, you could sit on Janine’s bed, or you could sit next to Jessie on her bed. Sitting on her bed without her asking felt a little too much like a self invitation, so you made your way to the chair. To get to the chair you had to pass where Jessie was sitting still at the edge of the bed. When you go to walk by her, her hand reaches out for you, she catches the back of your shirt firmly in her hand, causing you to stumble backward a step.

“Where are you going?” When you turn to look at her she’s got a big smile on her face, her eyebrows raised, she looks incredibly confident, less shy than her usual self but you assume that’s what winning a gold medal might do to someone.

“I was,” you point at the chair, “I figured I’d sit.” Unfortunately you didn’t have the additional confidence of winning a gold medal so here you were eyes looking anywhere but at Jessie’s.

“You can sit here.” Her other hand pats the bed next to her. You take a step back as she releases her grip from your shirt and you sit down next to her. You look at her and can’t help but start to smile, you try and fight it, pinching your lips together, you start feeling a blush form on your cheeks. You’re suddenly feeling shy as Jessie looks at you. You lay your back onto her bed, feet still touching the floor and throw your arm over your face to hide your blush from her.

Jessie leans back, her hand coming to grasp your forearm as she tries to pull it from your face. “Do I make you nervous?” Her voice is quiet and husky, as if she’s trying to seduce you, it was definitely working whether she meant for it to or not.

You roll your eyes and turn your face away from her “No.” She didn’t really make you nervous, she just gave you butterflies, she made your heart race, she made your palms sweaty.

“Liar.” She teased.

“No.” You tried to argue.

“Why are your cheeks red?”

“They’re not!” They were, you could feel them burning, you knew your whole face was probably red, not just your cheeks.

“Maybe it’s just sunburn from the night game, whatever you want to tell yourself.” She releases the grip on your arm and you cover your face again.

“You don’t make me nervous.” You grumble into your arm. “It’s not bad nervous, it’s, I don’t know.”

You feel Jessie move on the bed, she lays down mirroring your position so she’s next to you. “You used to be nervous. Your first day, when you had to massage my calf you looked terrified. You were so worried about doing the wrong thing, it was cute.” You can tell she’s looking at you. You can feel her breath on the side of your face and on your arm that remains over your eyes and forehead.

You take your arm down, letting it fall next to you, it falls directly on top of Jessie’s arm. She must’ve moved closer to you when you weren’t looking. You turn your head to face her.

“Of course I was nervous! It was my first day and I’m the one thrown to be in charge of you, of all people. Anyone else it would’ve been less nerve wracking but it was you. Obviously I was nervous.” You still look at the ceiling, knowing if you turn over you’ll be face to face with the captain and you’re not sure you’ll be able to refrain from kissing her.

“So I do make you nervous.”

“Not anymore, now I know you. Before you were just someone I had watched on TV, you were Jessie Fleming, you were a professional athlete, you were someone my mom used to make fun of me because I had a silly little crush on you when I was younger, you were an Olympian, and a fucking gold medalist, you were captain of the team, of course you made me nervous.”

“Then what’s different now?” She prodded.

“Now you’re you, you’re Jessie, who sent me a photo of deer because I told you how I used to watch them in my backyard, who brought me coffee on two occasions, who is incredibly clumsy despite being a professional athlete, you’re just Jessie who sat on FaceTime and showed me what she made for dinner, you tell me about the books you’re reading, it’s different. It’s now you, not just the fantasy idea of you.”

“Still have that little crush though.” She elbows you in the ribs.

At this rate your blushing face was going to be permanently red, her teasing still getting to you. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not,” she insists “if it makes you feel better, I’ve got quite the crush too.”

“So I’ve heard.” You breathe out.

You finally look at her as she rolls over onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. She shifts her body slightly closer so her front is flush to your side. Maneuvering herself more, she moves so that her face is now hovering above yours. You watch as her eyes trail to your lips and back to your eyes, the same way you had done to her and she had done to you the few other times you had kissed.

“Do it.” You whisper to her.

She leans down, her body pressing onto yours ever so slightly. You close your eyes just before her lips meet yours. You one hand is trapped between your bodies but your other comes to hold her waist. Her hand not holding herself up comes to rest on your neck and cheek.

Her lips are soft, just as they had been every other kiss, only they felt more familiar. You had now kissed her four times. Kissing Jessie was easy, the way she’d gently press into you, the feeling of her warm hand on your body. This kiss was more tender than the one she had prompted in the bar earlier, no slip of the tongue, no sloppiness, just a gentle and yet passionate kiss.

She pulled back from your lips after only a couple of seconds, her body remaining pressed into your side. You opened your eyes to the Canadian smiling down at you. Feeling greedy for more you reach up, your hand releasing her waist to find the back of her neck pulling her down into a much more impatient kiss.

You felt Jessie hum into the kiss, a small vibration against your own lips, giving you confirmation she was enjoying this just as much as you were. You parted your lips at the feeling of her tongue against them, her tongue meets yours quickly, in short motions before she’d return her focus to your lips. Wanting to get your other hand on her body you move your hand down to Jessie’s waist, trying to pull her to a position that would free both of your hands. She gets the hint and starts to adjust herself to sit up more, supporting herself on her legs instead of your side. You sit up, trying to follow her movements to keep your lips on hers. When she sits up, she must’ve forgotten the two of you were still sitting on just the edge of the bed, she nearly falls back, breaking your kiss. You reach out to catch her grabbing her by the waist with both hands.

“Whoops.” She giggles, one hand over her chest at the fright she just gave herself.

“Like I said earlier, clumsy.” You smile at her. “You alright?”

“Yeah I’m good.” She smiles at you, before her mouth opens and she lets out a yawn. Her hand quickly covers her mouth.

“Am I that boring of a kisser?” You joked with her, unfortunately Jessie thinks you’re being serious.

“No! No you’re good, I’m not bored, not at all.” She then paused to look down at her her hands in her lap. “Uh so please don’t take this the wrong way, but I want to say something before I lead you on too far.” She pauses, giving you just enough time to panic. She stands up, out and away from your touch and moves to sit against the headboard of the bed, legs out in front of her.

Maybe she wasn’t into you anymore, maybe she didn’t want to talk to you after tonight, maybe she wasn’t interested in you anymore, maybe she didn’t like sneaking around.

“I really, really, like kissing you and where this is going, but I’m just tired, honestly. And, believe me, I’m interested in where this is going, but I don’t know if tonight’s the right time, it’s not that I don’t want to,”

“Don’t worry about it.” You’re quick to reassure her. A tiny part of you had thought maybe you’d sleep together tonight, but you really were just more interested in finally getting to spend some time alone with her, away from work.

“I do have interest, in ya know, doing that, with you, it’s just been a long few weeks and I don’t want it to be some half-assed attempt.” It was cute the way Jessie was shy, dancing around the topic of sleeping with you, not wanting to actually say it. Her cocky attitude was no longer detected.

“Jessie, it’s fine, don’t worry, I’m not expecting anything. I just wanted to hang out.”

“Okay, sorry.” She apologizes.

You stand up from the bed, ready to head back to your room for the night, and let Jessie get the restful sleep she very much deserved. You reach down grabbing your shoes, starting to tie the laces.

“Are you leaving?” She asks from her spot on the bed.

“I thought you wanted to sleep?” You point to the bed, confused why she was questioning you leaving.

“I do, but maybe in a little bit, I was hoping we could maybe make out a little more?” She breaks eye contact as she asks.

“Who’s shy now?” You teased as you watched her cheeks flush as she asked to kiss you again. You kick your half tied shoes off again and make your way back to the bed. You climb on it, sitting in a similar position to Jessie, back against the headboard.

“I’m not shy.” Jessie says, she starts to move, turning toward you. You think she’s going to lean over and kiss you. Only she then moves up to her knees before her hands find your shoulders and she swings one leg over your lap. She lowered herself so she was sitting on the middle of your thighs. Jessie was straddling you. You let your hands find her waist again, holding her just above her hip bones.

She wrapped her arms around your neck pulling you up and toward her as she leaned down bringing her lips to yours. Her tongue is immediately on yours, her hands find their way to the base of your hairline, raking her fingers in and gently scratching and pulling. You manage to swallow down the moan you nearly let out at the feeling. You can’t help but tighten your grip on her, pulling her into you harder. You feel Jessie rock slightly into your lap. You couldn’t believe this was happening, Jessie was in your lap, her hands in your hair, your hands on her waist, trailing down to her thighs.

You feel her quads clench slightly as your hands make their way to rub slowly up and down her thighs. You were amazed at how you could feel her muscles twitch under your touch, her whole body firm, strong, and yet so soft. Each pass your hands creeped up more and more, until on the next pass they were gripping Jessie’s ass. You dug your fingers in slightly, gripping her muscles and pulling her into your lap more.

The two of you continued to kiss, your tongues grazing over each other, making gentle passes at your lips, even knowing this wasn’t leading anywhere you couldn’t help but be incredibly turned on. The way Jessie was making small noises, satisfied hums, little groans when you’d tighten your grip on her ass, the way she was ever so slightly grinding into your lap, you were doing everything in your power not to grind your hips up into hers.

You felt Jessie start to pull back, her kisses slowing down, her tongue retreating before she sucked your bottom lip between her teeth and pulled away from you. You opened your eyes to watch, seeing hers were open as well. She smiled down at you as she pulled back. The gentle tug on your lip mixed with the arousing reality of Jessie in your lap was enough and you weren’t able to muffle the moan that escaped from your throat. Jessie released your lip, letting it pop back.

You clear your throat, unsure of what to say and a little embarrassed about the groan you had let out, turning your head down to look at your lap, instead you end up looking at Jessie’s lap as she’s sitting on top of you. Jessie’s hands remove themselves from your hair and one comes to your chin, tilting your head up to look at her.

“Hi.” Her cocky smile across her face is slightly infuriating, but also so attractive.

“Hi.” You reply back giving her a dazed smile, still feeling like you’re floating from the feeling of Jessie’s hands on your body and her mouth on yours.

Jessie rolls off of you, just sitting next to you for a minute before she stands up and walks across the room, picking up her duffle bag and throwing it onto the bed. She rummages through, you assume looking for a sweatshirt or something. “Do you want more comfortable clothes? I have sweats and stuff.” She looks up from where she was digging in the bag, a pair of blue sweats in her hand.

“I mean I have clothes in my room, I’m alright.” It’s not like your room was far, you could get into your sleeping clothes when you got there.

“Oh.” You watched Jessie’s smile fall from her face momentarily before she spoke up again. “I just thought, never mind.” She shakes you off. “I’m going to change.” You notice the change in her tone of voice, she sounded upset. She grabs a pile of clothes that was neatly folded on the desk and heads to the bathroom.

You’re not sure what you did. You rack your brain, she seemed okay until you rejected her clothes. You just were being polite, it didn’t make sense for you to take her clothes when your room was just a couple doors down. You could just change there. You also didn’t want to keep her up, she had said she was tired, she was ready for bed. You weren’t going to keep her from sleeping any longer. The more time that passes as you sit waiting for Jessie to come out of the bathroom the more nervous you get.

Maybe she wanted you to go, maybe you should leave while she’s in the bathroom. You go to stand up making your way to your shoes for the second time that night when you hear the bathroom door open and Jessie steps out. Her hair is down and she’s wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Leaving?” The same disappointed tone in her voice.

“Yeah, you can finally get some sleep, sorry for keeping you up.” You eye her up and down from where you were kneeling putting on your shoes. She looked so cozy, you wanted to cuddle up next to her under a blanket, maybe you could sometime. You could cuddle up with her sometime when she wasn’t exhausted and didn’t need to get a full night's rest.

“Goodnight Jessie.” You say as you head to the door. You mentally began to prepare yourself for the bombardment of questions you knew Olivia was going to throw at you. Reaching for the door you reluctantly turn the handle and crack the door.

“I offered you my clothes because I want you to stay.” Jessie’s voice comes from behind you right as the light from the hallway floods into the room.

She wanted you to stay. She wanted you to stay the night, in her room, in her clothes. “Ohhh.” That’s why she had seemed disappointed when you rejected the offer of the sweatpants. You felt like an idiot, you had essentially rejected her offer to spend the night without even realizing it.

“I know I said I was tired and we shouldn’t sleep together tonight, but that doesn’t mean we can’t literally sleep in the same bed together.” She then quickly follows up the offer with a quiet “only if you’re comfortable with that, if not obviously you’re welcome to go.”

You let the door handle fall from your hand and you turn back to Jessie. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that’s what you meant by offering me sweatpants. If I did, I would’ve taken them.”

“Offer still stands.” She tells you, you turn back to the door quickly locking it before heading over to where the sweatpants sat on top of her bag. You grab them and then look up to her.

“Whatever shirt you want is fine, they’re all like t-shirts.” You just grab the first one on top, a light gray neatly rolled shirt. Heading toward the bathroom you notice Jessie following you.

“Hey if you’re trying to see me naked Fleming all you have to do is ask.” You say and she stops walking, looking at you wide eyed.

“No, no I wasn’t,” she lets out a small puff of air. “I was going to show you,” she points into the bathroom and you let her walk in first. She walks over to the sink, pulling out a still packaged toothbrush. “If you want you can just use this so you don’t have to get yours, and then feel free to use anything else, I have face wash, lotion, regular bathroom stuff.”

You take the toothbrush from her hand and she turns to leave, closing the door behind her to leave you to your privacy. You strip from your clothes debating for a moment if you should leave the bra you had on, would it be weird to take it off, it was a bralette and comfortable enough to sleep in, you weren’t sure. You pull the bra off, deciding against wearing it. You slip Jessie’s shirt over your head, being engulfed with the smell of her, you couldn’t quite place the smell, but it smelled like her and it made your stomach flutter. Following the shirt you put on her sweats. On the counter was her toothpaste.

Next to the toothpaste was her medal. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that most people would kill to have an Olympic gold medal and here was hers, on the bathroom counter next to a tube of toothpaste and a bottle of Advil, as if it was just another thing that belonged in her bathroom.

Seeing her medal just sit there strikes an idea in your mind. You grab your discarded jeans, dig your phone out of your pocket and text Olivia.

You: I need a favor, tomorrow.

You put your phone back, not expecting her to text you back today. After brushing your teeth, you use the toilet, and open the door. The lights were already out in the room but Jessie had turned on the lamp on her bedside. You turn the corner to see Jessie already tucked up in bed. She was off to the right side of the bed, the side she had sat on originally before she sat in your lap. You feel a flush of heat run through your body at the memory of her straddling your lap.

You pull back the covers and climb into the bed next to Jessie. It wasn’t a very big bed, maybe a full size, comfortable enough for one person, small for two. You think maybe that’s the point, the Olympic committee discouraging this behavior.

You remained on your back, you usually slept on your back anyway but you were more laying in fear of moving, not wanting to disturb Jessie. Feeling the mattress shift Jessie reaches over and turns the light off before rolling over to lay on her side facing you. You can barely make out her features in the darkness. You feel her arm fall across your waist, her hand gently gripping your side. Her head comes to rest on your shoulder. She slowly lets her body weight onto you, relaxing into your body.

“Is this okay?” She whispers up at you.

“Yeah, it is.” You adjust slightly, moving so that her head came to rest more on your chest and your arm wrapped around her back, holding her tight to you. You look down at her, she puckers her lips and you lean down planting a soft goodnight kiss on her. “Goodnight Jessie.”

“Goodnight.”

You weren’t sure what this meant, what any of it meant, but you didn’t really care. The team had won gold, you and Jessie were on good terms, you were in her bed, her head on your chest, her arm across your waist. You fell asleep to the sound of her breathing and she fell asleep to the sound of your heart, it was probably racing but you didn’t care. This was all you had hoped for going into this trip, all you had hoped for and more.

[princncess]

The Problem With Fucking Ex-Cader Units

Don’t try to fuck an ex-cader unless you’re a real specific type of person. That’s my advice. Lemme explain this from start to finish. First of all, I’ve got to explain to you what a cader actually is. 

See, since the 30’s, where pilots were really wearing glorified suits, to the 40s, when mechs took on a size and shape more reflective of early cultural depictions about what they would be, to the more hulking things they are now, mechs have been steadily increasing in size. Around ‘53, the protection game changed. At that point, the penetration really wasn’t as much of an issue as the impact of a weapon, and no matter how much armor you caked on, nothing would stop a .24 c-cal¹ round from just jolting you so hard your internals got fucked up anyway, even if it stopped way short, nestled comfortably in the dozens of feet of whatever exotic metal they decided to layer on top of you.

So they ditched the whole heavy armor thing, which increased combat capabilities a ton, cause, y’know, extreme weight decrease. I shouldn’t need to tell you that that left a huge vulnerability. To fill that gap, they came up with a new class: Barricader units, or caders for short. Rumor has it a higher-up spelled “cadet” or “cadre” wrong and everyone just ran with it, too scared to correct the guy, but who knows. Caders are a single purpose unit. All the armor stripped off the glorious fighters who get all the medals, put onto caders, and their job was to take damage. No weapons, save for the ability to give someone a mean slam with your armor. High propulsion to get in the way of stuff quick and then back out so your team could return fire. Mechs physically built and pilots mentally trained to drag themselves by the last functioning finger to the next source of pain. Can you tell yet why they’re not a fuck for the faint of heart?

So no surprise that when these pilots are out-of-mech, they’re more than a little weird. I know you’ve seen all the posts about how ex-pilots are always breaking things, twitching like they’re scanning for targets, unusually sadistic, what have you. You’ll usually find an ex-cader cutting the shit out of itself and the like- some people think they’re depressed or PTSD or something, but really they’re just trying to get high again. They actually did a study on ex-caders, turns out they’re actually going through something chemically analogous to drug withdrawal, but for pain. If they’re not getting hurt, they feel like they aren’t serving their purpose, they get anxious, start freaking out until they can get their next fix of pain. They’re the ones reading “abuser blocklists” like a fucking menu, pissed that no one on there is an actual abuser. It’s not even “wires crossed” at that point, the wires are all fucking melted together.

I run a place where off-duty and discharged military come to relax, satisfy bodily urges- I don’t need to spell it out for you. Some of them actually end up working here instead of being customers. Anyway, any time we get an ex-cader in here, they’ve just got needs beyond the pay-grade of anyone who works here. It’s not like they try to force anything- well, some try this sorta… manipulation game, but the only satisfaction they’ll get if they do is getting kicked out by me- but even the behaved ones clearly leave disappointed. It’s nice for us that all the shit laws against sex work faded out, but the things these ex-caders ask for are still far into illegal territory, not to mention far past what my toughest employees can stomach.

Now, I’ve got one employee, Lucy, who’s also an ex-pilot- not a cader, an assault pilot. Doesn’t get very good reviews, bless her, she goes way too hard, can’t meter her force. People tap out. We had to give her a special whip that didn’t hurt very much, and only give her the serious masochist clients because damn could she swing. It was only a matter of time before an ex-cader arrived, heard about her, and decided “I gotta try it.” Can’t lie, I was interested in what would happen too. I had no idea the chemical fucking reaction that was about to take place.

A funny thing happens when you add “someone who wants to take more than anyone can give” and “someone who wants to give more than anyone can take.” It was unstoppable force meets immovable object. Someone created to be hurt, versus someone created to hurt. The answer is, they fuck like they’re both trying to kill the cader.

As is protocol, we left them alone in a room to do their business. Business outside that room, however, ceased. You could hear the sound through the entire building, both of them making the same noise- like a scream and a laugh combined, what I can only describe as the sound of Purpose, capital P, being fulfilled in the most violent way. Not to mention the impacts and claps, cracks of what I thought at the time were furniture. We kinda wanted to go in and check on them, make sure they were safe, but that’s against our rules, so we let them continue. We actually had a bit of a crowd forming near the wall, can’t blame the people for being concerned or interested. But after a little while, about halfway through their time slot, we could only hear one person scream-laughing. No club safe-word from anyone yet. I again considered checking on them, but figured I’d give it some time. Ten minutes later, the sounds were all calming down, still only one person could be heard. I knocked a few times. No response each time. The concerns were mounting among me and everyone else there. I cleared the crowd for privacy reasons, then got ready to enter.

That wasn’t a metaphor I used earlier. I saw Lucy on a chair, waiting, and the cader on its stomach on the floor. It- well, she, but this thing was no longer recognizable as anything but an it- looked like it had five elbows, the way its arm was broken up in a few places. The attached hand was scratching at the ground pulling the rest of the body what must have been micrometers closer to Lucy while she giggled and looked down at it. She looked up at me with a more intense joy in her eyes than I’ve seen in anyone- and waved to me, giddy, with a “Hiiiii!!!!”

In the low light, the only thing I could see wrong was the silhouette of the fucked up arm, I didn’t know how bad the situation was. I turned on the light and the first thing I saw was the various places blood had splattered. I screamed, Lucy laughed again, and someone peeked in who I had to shoo back out. I closed the door out of respect for the two pilots, but didn’t feel good about being alone with Lucy. I walked toward the cader, around its body to the other side- I saw legs broken entirely out of commission, the other arm hanging on by sinew, broken-off wood from the furniture jabbed into its abdomen. That special whip I got for Lucy tied around its neck. Then there was what was left of its face. It was like a crater, I was stunned the pilot was even still alive. Somehow I could tell it was smiling, despite the fact that I could see nothing but pulp. It almost sounded like the thing was purring, the way it was gargling blood somewhere deep in its throat. I looked around the room. It looked like just about everything in there had come into play at some point during their session, everything scattered. Broken glass. Some fingers. Turns out I had misconceptions about what vocal cords looked like. I saw Lucy’s wrist had also broken somewhere along the way, and the rest of her was as bloody as anything else in the room. She was staring back, but it didn’t seem like she was upset at me, or registered me as a potential target. When I regained the power of speech, I sat down in a patch of ground without much blood and called an ambulance I knew wouldn’t be enough. I tried to talk to Lucy a little bit, but she seemed too starstruck by her experience to offer much beyond “Look how cute!”

Well, I guess whoever peeked in called the cops, because they came along with the ambulance. Lucy was too out of it- and proud of her work- to do anything but admit to everything. While they took her away, I wondered what was going on in her head. Did she understand she did something wrong, or was the euphoria of that whole thing just too much?

Scratch that. I have no idea if she did something wrong.

¹ Centcal, abbreviated c-cal. 100 times a caliber. .24 c-cal is the same as 24 cal, or a 2-foot-wide bullet.

[t00thpasteface]

Hey! Do you have any hawkahy fic recs?

:D first let me start by saying,

second, my biggest rec is always always always for you to just trawl around ao3 and tumblr on your own time and leave no stone unturned (or at least un-glanced-at). i'm happy to say i think there's enough stuff floating around out there where no one person's rec list is gonna cover every fic you might end up liking, so i encourage you to root around and see what hidden gems you stumble on. kudos, hits, and comments are not the be-all end-all indicator of fic quality, and there's really no way to tell if you'll like something without giving it a fair shake first.

now getting into the actual meat of it:

i can't possibly talk hawkahy fic without mentioning my wonderful friend @quordleona03 and her Sins & Virtues series, which has been ongoing since i was still in elementary school. the latest installment, All We Know, is currently holding the bronze medal for the longest mash fic on ao3 and is still being updated. if you like your fics long, angsty, and thoroughly researched, look no further than that series! she also has some unaffiliated/standalone hawkahy fics on her profile. quordle is also the archivist for the late Iolanthe, who is credited as the founding hawkahy fic writer— more on that topic is written on her memorial ao3 profile and on the S&V series page linked above. famously, in 2004, around the time S&V was first being written, the onion described erotic hawkahy fanfic as being "the worst humanity has to offer", which could only have been referring to either (or both) of these two talented authors. via the iolanthe memorial account, quordle also runs a hawkahy fic collection on ao3 and accepts submissions for it, though you may need to poke her on her main account if there's an outstanding submission you think she missed that you'd like her to look at.

other fics i recommend (mind the ratings):

Hot Under the Collar

The Touch of Your Hand

i'm afraid to come home in the dark

saying grace over an empty table

You're The Tops

Reach Out, Touch Faith

and Shearing Season was a generous gift for yours truly!

as you can probably guess from that list: my tastes are equally fluffy and smutty. i like my porn with feelings, and my feelings with porn. hawkahy is a very sweet and emotionally fraught ship that simultaneously works great as a depraved pornographic freakfest. the best fics have both in equal measure! ^_^

i also write fic! you can find me on ao3 under the name RiskyBiznu. i've only posted 6 hawkahy fics so far, but generally they lean towards comedy and i think all of them are tagged as some variant of fluff.

lastly, i'd like to also say that i am very picky and also trying to keep this list brief, so for anyone else reading: please don't take it personally if your stuff isn't on my list! plus, anyone is free to reblog this with recs of their own, as well as a link to their own stuff, if they so wish. the more the merrier!

[manidk1273]

🎀 — Prodigy

You were the result of a one night stand, your mother tried to "baby-trap" Tony but of course that didn't work. Though, by law— (and since your mother was unstable) you were under the custody of your father, Tony Stark. As the years pass.. he notices a lot about you.

You were the only (known) child of Tony Stark by far. Being only 2 weeks old when the mess happened, you didn't even have a name— You were only given one once your father, Tony Stark won the case. He chose a wonderful name for you.

You couldn't be more grateful. Sure, you were unplanned and it was a little bit messy but he loves you so much. He calls you his greatest creation. You didn't disappoint too. Of course the Stark's were known as geniuses. And you weren't excluded.. in fact, you progressed so much faster than any of your predecessors that scientists wanted to study you at the age of 7 months old. Of course, as your legal guardian and awesome father, Tony immediately turned down the offer.

At age 2, you could already properly read and write. With perfect grammar, you could write long informative text— even stories.

At age 4, you already were learning the fundamentals of mathematics. Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division. And since your father didn't want you to go to public or private schools (too many risks.) he hired personal tutors for you. You already were progressing faster than anyone he ever saw before, and he was so proud.

At age 5, You already could understand the simpler inventions your father made. And it was better since he would explain it step-by-step to you. And this was your favourite time of the day, not only because you get to learn but also because you get to spend time with your dad.

At age 6— your IQ was just.. off the charts. You were devouring knowledge, information like it was your favourite food! And as the caring, loving father Tony is, he happily provided you the things you need (including his love and care.).

You were the youngest of many things. You were already marked as a genius at age 2. Not only did he find out you were a genius an interesting characteristic of yours is that you NEVER, ever forget. You even remembered everything that happened when you were 2 weeks old. You remember the exact date, location and time.. it was insane.

At age 7, you were already competing with competitors 5 times your age. And surprisingly, you won every competition you were in. But of course, you're humble. (Pepper teaches you to always be humble.)

You never ceased to stop learning. It was your hobby, it was fun for you. Everything you read was always imprinted in your mind instantly.

Tony is just.. the definition of proud whenever you do something. Whether it be winning a simple chess match, quiz bee.. trivia, whatever. In fact, he has two whole rooms dedicated to you. With your certificates, trophies, medals. He's just so proud.

As he says,

“ You're my pride and joy, kid. ”

That's currently my first ever try writing in Tumblr, I don't usually write much anymore but I used to be a writer in Wattpad and AO3 😅

I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes I did, please point it out so I can fix them! Much appreciated.

Thank you so much if you reached the end, good day to you<3

[little-emerald-snake]

Smutmas Day 12

“You can go deeper than that.” - Garreth Weasley X F!MC

🔥NSFW 🔞 MDNI

902 words

Warnings: semi public / sexual favors as payment

Garreth knew she’d be in the library studying at this hour. After all, she promised after this time that she’d start brewing her own potions which meant she really had to step up her study time.

He found her in a tucked away corner of the library just as he’d imagined. Her nose in a book although it wasn’t a potions book. He frowned, clearing his throat loud enough to grab her attention.

She looked up from the romance novel, spotting Garreth and smiling impishly. “Oh, h-hi Garreth! I-I promise I’ve been reading up for potions. Look…see?”

She pulled out her copy of the potions guide book from Sharps class and holds it up as if she deserves a medal for carrying it around on her person.

He only tsks her and shakes his head, disapproval in every fiber of his disposition. He came to stand right beside her, pulling out the potion she was supposed to brew for Sharps class. The very same she’s paid Garreth to brew for her.

Garreth rolls the vial between his fingers and dangles it out teasingly, pulling it back before she can make a grab for it. “You know, I think my prices just went up for brewing, since I’ve gotten so busy lately while brewing for both of us.”

Her smile drops, not expecting him to raise the price but she grabs for her pouch of galleons. He holds his hand out stopping her. “No, I don't want your money. That’s too easy for you. I want something that you actually put effort towards since that’s what I have to go through.”

She thinks for a moment, maybe he wants ingredients? She could get him some stuff he probably doesn’t have easy access to. “Do you want specialty ingredients or something? I could get you whatever you need.”

He shakes his head. “You doubt a prodigy of potions will acquire specialty ingredients on his own? No, I have plenty at my disposal. I’m thinking of something else.”

She nods, looking at how serious but relaxed his facial expression is. He knows exactly what he wants and she can tell he isn’t leaving without having his way. “What can I do to pay you back Garreth?”

He raises his brows with a smirk, pointing down at the floor in front of him and suddenly she gets it. He wants a sexual favor in trade. Her mind reels for a moment, she can’t say she hasn’t imagined doing this for him before so it surprises her that it’s what he wants too.

She doesn’t hesitate as she slides out of her chair and onto her knees in front of him. His body and robes block the view of anyone passing by the shelves they are crammed between, which makes her feel a bit better as she undoes his belt.

He simply slides the vial into the breast pocket of his robe, watching as she undoes his trousers. A wave of arousal from the sight makes his cock twitch to life and begin to swell.

Her on her knees in front of him, even in a public place like this, he’s imagined it so many times before but actually having it happen makes him bite the inside of his cheek.

She finally pulls his cock free, watching as it swells in her hand. She looks up at his hooded eyes before giving a tentative lick starting from the base and ending just below his tip. He groans softly and a small shine of precum beads at his tip.

She licks her lips before dipping her head to taste it. He sighs, watching her contemplate his taste before closing her lips around his tip and sucking in a way that has him seeing stars. He watches her bob her head, slowly working more of him inside while she sucks torturously.

He can tell he’s too much for her mouth but that doesn’t stop her from trying. Her lips feel so good wrapped around him, especially when she slides them up and down his length and doing whatever the hell that suction thing is.

In all his times imagining this, he’d never imagined it feeling this good. He can’t help but want more, desiring to hear her to choke on his cock for all the extra work he’s done for her. “Come on. You can go deeper than that.”

Her eyes flick up to meet his. He can tell she sees this as a challenge when she suddenly takes him all the way, opening up her throat till her lips meet the base of his ginger curls.

He bites back a groan, hand coming up to fist into her hair as he whispers just loud enough for her to hear. “Oh Merlin, yes. Just like that. Wanna see you gag on it.”

He holds her there till she does gag, doing her best to cough silently when it becomes too much. He pulls her back, unable to hold back a groan as her stringy spit clings to his cock and her watery eyes flick up to his.

He can’t help but love the way she looks, eyes glassy from choking on him, cheeks red from embarrassment, and chest heaving as she struggles to breathe. “I should have made you suck my cock so much sooner. You look like you were made for it.”

[strawberry-cow-sorceress]

[ID: a tweet that reads “We’ve done an analysis to show that countries that reduced Covid more effectively won more Gold medals than expected at the Paris Olympics and vice versa” above a link to a study titled “Possible impacts of national response to COVI…" end ID]

study linked in tweet:

Obviously correlation is not necessarily causation, but I, for one, am not particularly surprised by these findings. COVID ravages the body in ways that can be hard to detect and athletes (and anyone else who begins serious physical exertion within 6 months of a COVID infection) are at much higher risk of developing Long COVID than people who get radical rest following an infection.

COVID is preventable, though! N95s have been found to be nearly perfect at blocking COVID and Mask Blocs can help you find free or cheap masks and tests in your area. Many even ship within their state if you’re worried about not living in a big city. COVID is not inevitable and more people masking means less COVID in the air!

here’s a link to an article about the N95 study:

and here’s the study itself:

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi💖, I have an idea for pages au What if the reader was born much earlier and the story was written at a time when Figarland Garling was still young and like Crocodile was not attached to any character, but he admired MC and decided that he was the only one who deserved her, so he kidnapped her and locked her in a room away from any kind of interaction. With anyone but him and can I get Stockholm Syndrome and maybe a little smut (there's no way I can resist falling in love with him🫠🫠)

Excuse me… Excuse me, dear… I think you dropped something… Here it is! 🥇, it’s your best request that I think I’ve ever received medal! Like this one is one of the best!

Thank you so very much for sending it in as I didn’t ever think that I would ever in a million years get a request for this crescent moon man and would simply have to write my own shit for him, ya know?

But I am so happy that you sent this in, I love this guy! Like I hate his actions but everything else is just 🥵… You get me?

Anyways before I start absolutely just losing myself, let’s get into it! Shall we?

Keep in mind though! MANGA SPOILERS!!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Celestial Dragon Bullshit, Slavery, Delusions, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, Severe Isolation, Impregnation, Pregnancy, MANGA SPOILERS

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

Okay so I’m not entirely sure how Garling would go about getting his hands on one of your books because you know… Technical Celestial Dragon Man with a book from a lowly peasant person? How scandalous!!

But at the end of the day, he seems like someone who doesn’t really give too much of a shit as he doesn’t wear those stupid ass spacesuits or have that dumbass hairstyle so he probably does pick up one of the books at some point

Maybe it’s one day while he’s bored with absolutely nothing to do that he decides to pick up the book, he flips through the pages and although it does help pass the time. It probably bores him even more to be honest

He thinks the love interests are both annoying and the story is okay at most but there is one thing that is keeping him reading and it’s the MC, he didn’t like the MC either at first but he started to like them after a chapter where he saw that they did something that he honestly considered impressive

He kept reading simply for the MC and he steadily began to like them more and more eventually deciding that neither love interest was good enough for the MC and honestly you know how like when you watch a show or play a game, you can’t help but imagine yourself or a character of yours in the story too?

I feel like that’s what he would do like he would start imagining himself in the story when he would read, he would imagine scenes between himself and the MC where they would spend time together until he was considered the only one good enough for them

Eventually though, all good scenarios have to come to an end and he reads the last book finding out that the MC got with the more annoying of the two love interests in the end but not only that, the MC was pregnant too?

This was absolutely unacceptable, they didn’t deserve the MC at all! No one did! No one was good enough for them except for him and a relationship with him was the only thing that he would accept…

Alas though, the MC was simply a fictional character and even he knew that so there was nothing he could do…

Everyone probably was scared shitless of Garling for a few days like bitchass Celestial Dragons were probably scrambling to get out of his way as he’s someone with the power to judge even the Celestial Dragons so him being angry is something that no one wants to be on the receiving end of

However soon enough, his anger comes to an end when he finds a picture while looking at the book covers and this picture just so happens to be of you but you’re dressed up as the MC of your book while giving a happy smile to the camera as the text underneath thanks the buyer of the book for reading the story

Garling could only stare at your face, he was frozen there just standing in front of his bookcase while staring. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen it before, you were the MC and the MC did exist in real life because you were them!

He needed to have you… He would have you…

Imagine your shock when about a week later, you got a knock on your door from some men who looked incredibly prestigious and honestly very intimidating like to the point where you just wanted to shut the door and lock it tight

You could probably try but it wouldn’t work and these people would tell you that someone in the holy land is requesting your presence immediately and you should feel honored which was the very last thing that you were feeling

Maybe you tried to request to pack your bags only to attempt an escape out of like a window but you aren’t going anywhere, you’ll get captured and dragged off without any of your things so it’s best to just pack if you ask for that

The entire way there, you’re terrified as you’re likely going to wind up as the slave to some horrible and disgusting celestial dragon that makes you want to puke just by looking at him and these fears probably only get worse the closer you get to your destination

Once you’re finally there, you’re greeted by Figarland Garling who you assume that you’ll become the slave of but instead he tells you that you’re his spouse now and that you should devote yourself to him now that you’re with someone whose truly good enough for you

It’s confusing as all hell because he’s talking like he knows you when you have never met before today but despite that, he takes you back to what is now your home and lets you get settled into your shared bedroom before he tells you that you are never leaving the house ever again and that you are never to interact with a person who isn’t him

I’d say that you try to argue but do you really think that’s a good idea trying to argue with a man like this? I’d suggest simply listening and hoping that he’ll let you go after a while even though he probably won’t

Things aren’t the worst that they could possibly be when living with Garling as he is a bit distant and doesn’t allow anyone to interact with you but at least there’s a lot of things to keep you busy and he does allow you to continue writing

Even when Garling has company over, you aren’t allowed to meet them even if they’re another holy knight or a slave as Garling keeps you locked in a room so no one unworthy (aka anyone that isn’t him) can lay eyes on you

Really truly, Garling would only make an exception to who could see you if you had a medical emergency or required medical attention of any kind but even then they’re on thin ice and better not touch you more than he deems necessary

Seeing as you are still a writer as well, you are allowed to have your books published but there is to be no letters from fans coming in and you aren’t allowed to head out to do things like book signings or meet ups because that would require leaving the house and interacting with other people

You definitely grew to hate this arrangement and tried to plead with Garling to let you leave your home at least once in a while as you want to go outside and just breathe some fresh air away from the home for once

He would of course refuse anything that isn’t going out into the backyard for a bit though and even then, it feels suffocating because of how closely he monitors you during this time

The situation is becoming unbearable for you even when he tells you that this is all for your own good and that he does this because he loves you and wants you to be safe, you can only just cry as the feelings of being trapped weigh on you

This man can likely see the way that it weighs on you and that’s probably when he starts to become more affectionate with you like he starts bringing you things when he leaves for long periods of time and lovingly embraces you in longer kisses whenever he kisses you

He even starts to talk with you more than he used to and often reminds you of just how much he loves and adores you, no one else is good enough for you except him and now that you’re starting to become vulnerable. He’s sure that he can make you see it

As time passes with his new more affectionate behavior, you start to have thoughts. You start to think in the back of your head that this is truly good for you, this life with Garling is the best one that you could live like you still know that this life isn’t the best especially with all the horrible shit that comes with being in the holy land

But some part of you starts to love Garling back even though he’s a dangerous man who kidnapped you and forced you into being his spouse, you start to think that he really is just doing what’s best for you as what’s best for you is being kept only with him

He’s your loving husband and he would never let a single bad thing happen to you after all, how could you ever think about wanting to leave him when he loves you oh so very much? That’s what you think to yourself

Your life is here with Garling now as his loving spouse where you’ll never leave him and you’ll be sure to show him just how much you love him in exchange

When you truly and genuinely kiss him back for the first time with your arms wrapped around his neck, he knows that you’re his and that you’re never leaving him

You don’t even bat an eye when he starts to refer to you by the name of the MC now instead of by your name, your brain rationalizes it to you that your husband loves you so much that he perceives you and the MC of your story that he adores as the same person

Stockholm Syndrome and Delusions have started to set into place for you causing you to start to believe that you are the MC of the story and Garling is the only one who deserves you, the love interests are simply too annoying

And when Garling finally has you, he’ll pin you down on the bed underneath him and listen as you cry out his name in pure pleasure and leave scratches down his back while he thrusts into you

It’s the most beautiful sight that he could ever see, his love writhing underneath him from the pleasure that he’s providing them but not only that. They’re giving themselves completely to him and devoting themselves to him just like he has done for them

There’s simply one last thing that he needs to do to you and he knows exactly what it is as when he finally finishes, he makes sure to do it inside of you

And a few months later when you’re sitting a belly large and full with his baby, he comes up and kisses you deeply before moving you to sit on his lap while he sits on the chair

Not a day goes by where he ever regrets reading those books and when he looks at your face only to see just how absolutely in love with him you are…

He knows for a fact that you don’t regret making them…

[copperbadge]

I'm re-reading Fete for a King (ND the rest, but begin at the beginning and all), and the line about Greg's formal uniform not having any medals made me wonder: does the Ask (I'm not going to embarrass myself trying to free hand spell the whole country) have a standing military?

HAHA, It is really so much easier to write "The Ask" even when I know it infuriates the Michaelis that lives in my head :D

Askazer-Shivadlakia doesn't have a standing military; they haven't ever had a proper taxes-funded one, but back when such things were necessary, the Dukes of Shivadlakia, Jerry's ancestors, kept a militia that served the crown. That hasn't been the case for, oh, at least a hundred years, probably closer to three hundred, I haven't established when that ended yet.

Geographically, the country lies in an imaginary space between two branches of the alps, so it's pretty well-protected. The easiest access has generally been by sea, but for that you have to land at Fons-Askaz, which is a chokepoint. Alternately, if you manage to get infantry over the alps, the second you're in the country, it becomes a killbox. You'd better win immediately and decisively because you cannot retreat -- you're going to get slaughtered before you can get back out again. The Axis didn't properly invade or occupy it during WWII because they literally couldn't get tanks into the country, and the Shivadh booby-trapped both the roads and the port. It's what made the country such a superior place from which to launch Allied spies and saboteurs, which in turn is how it came to specialize in being a neutral ground for other countries' representatives to have Meetings That Never Happened. This was a lot more common during the cold war, but Gregory still hosts that kind of thing occasionally, which is why it's so important that the Shivadh kings also be diplomats and mediators.

So a standing military, for most of modern history, would have been more trouble than it was worth. And nowadays they're between France and Italy, so anyone coming at them would be perceived as attempting to sneak into a country that does have a standing army, since nobody's invading Askazer-Shivadlakia unless they're trying to get somewhere else. Gregory is very aware that if someone comes at him, France and Italy will be up their ass immediately. It's not his only defense, but it's the most visible and rational of them. The rest is classified :D

(Did I think of any of this, ever, when I wrote Fete? Diiiiiiid not. :D But it's worked out well, almost eerily so.)

[airyairyaucontraire]

I was thinking after my conversation about “I Want” songs with my nephew about moments when there should be a song like that, and one example I’d given him was Dorothy singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” so naturally I thought of Luke Skywalker on his little berm, and then I thought of the excellent idea I read somewhere that instead of Disney doing boring live action remakes of their great animated movies there should be animated remakes of live action movies, and those bumped together in my head to form Star Wars the Disney animated musical. Key points:

You are free to imagine the voice casting however you wish with one exception: obviously Ewan McGregor is playing Obi-Wan. Play him again and it’s a musical? Whoosh sound effect and a McGregor-shaped dust cloud as he makes for the studio.

Complete freedom to add scenes, and I don’t mean like the restored ANH scene where Han steps on Jabba’s tail - scenes exploring characters’ feelings through song! Including when they’re alone, which is the only way Leia would ever talk about her feelings.

Must look like classic cel animation. Character designs are inspired by but not required to be closely based on the actors (nor The Clone Wars). The animators will be instructed to draw the idea of Luke Skywalker, not Mark Hamill, if you see what I mean.

Mark Hamill can totally do the voice if he wants to though, obviously.

Definitely still have the stormtrooper who bonks his head on the door.

Examples (may not be in chronological order):

Luke’s “I Want” song obviously. Make it as “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” as you like.

Han gets an intro song making his way through Mos Eisley dodging bounty hunters. Make it as “One Jump Ahead” from Aladdin as you like.

“My Only Hope,” a song sung by Leia alone in her cell as she mourns for her planet and her parents. She falls apart in tears, then pulls herself together with a mighty effort and fixes her make-up with a little magic sci-fi device she had hidden up her sleeve and rises determined to stay in command of the situation and of herself - that’s her only hope.

“Your First Steps,” Obi-Wan’s big number while training Luke on the Falcon. A somewhat more comprehensive introduction to the Force than just trying not to get zapped by a training remote.

Other Stuff I Want:

Boba Fett cameo, because I love him.

Just as Leia cries when she’s alone, I need Luke to actually cry when he finds Owen and Beru’s bodies. Then, again like Leia, he pulls himself together and goes to do what he can. But he’s still sniffing and having to wipe his eyes with his sleeve as he drives back to Obi-Wan.

It would be corny but I’m not opposed to brief cameos, just background glimpses, of other characters who might be on Tatooine at the time during Han’s number. I mentioned Boba but we could also have Fennec Shand, Peli Motto and Cobb Vanth.

Before the medal ceremony ending (for which you’d better believe EVERYONE is singing, solos for the main characters and the entire Rebellion as a choir, the triumphal “A New Hope”) there’s a quiet scene with Alderaanian rebels raising a memorial stone to the people of Alderaan, and then anyone who lost someone on Alderaan can use a little laser pen to write their names on a small stone to place in front of it. Leia offers a stone and a pen to Luke, who demurs that he doesn’t want to intrude on something for Alderaan. Leia says, “I’m still the princess of Alderaan and I’m inviting you. You’re not intruding.” So we have a shot of their stones lying together on the base of the pile, inscribed “Breha and Bail Organa” and “Beru and Owen Lars.”

Yes in legible English (or substitute the local script for international release), I’m not doing Aurebesh.

When you use the Force your hair puffs out like a Studio Ghibli character.

Just go full 80s scifi anime with unlimited budget on the Death Star run scenes, obviously

[ciaossu-imagines]

Again, loving up some underloved fandoms here on Ciaossu-Imagines, so throwing out some headcanons I have about The Mighty Ducks characters! I hope anyone familiar with these movies will enjoy them!

Starting with Averman, he’s definitely Jewish. I think he and Goldberg are really good friends because both of them are Jewish. They attended Hebrew school together, their parents are good friends, and honestly they really rely on each other around the holiday season. Neither boy is ashamed of being Jewish or anything, but especially around the time period those movies are set, Hannukah was not as popular or as talked about as Christmas was. And when all your friends are talking about Christmas and their plans and the gifts they’ll get and all the celebrations you hear about are Christianity based, it’s hard not to feel a little left out so both boys’ kind of really like having another friend they can talk to about their Hannukah plans who will get it. Bonus headcanon but I think Averman has a bigger love of hockey and was the one to get Goldberg into the sport.

Hot take on Adam – I don’t think he’s this abused kid trying desperately to please Daddy. I think that while his father might have high expectations for Adam, his father isn’t really abusive. I think a lot of the pressure that Adam feels – and boy, does he feel a lot – is pressure that Adam puts on himself. I do see Adam as having some issues with perfectionism, with being way too hard on himself, and he struggles with anxiety and a need to be perfect but it’s because Adam himself knows that he’s got a lot of talent and he doesn’t want to waste that talent.

Charlie’s actually got a few hidden skills but the one that ends up surprising most people is that, at one point in his life, Charlie got really into magic and he’s pretty good with a couple of tricks, mostly sleight of hand stuff.

Tammy did enjoy playing hockey, I won’t pretend that she didn’t. But I think when it came down to it, she enjoyed figure skating a lot more. There was more pageantry in that sport, more creativity and more glamour in her mind and I think she left the Ducks before the second movie because she really did want to focus on figure skating and competing in that area. She did win several medals, but I think she largely left the sport around the time she started college.

Julie reads…for fun. While she loves being active and has various hobbies and interests, she’s been a life-long bookworm. She learned to read early, and gobbles books up. She normally gets through at least a book a week and does read a wide variety of things, though she has guilty pleasure reading that she’d be embarrassed if anyone found out about, such as romance novels and the Hardy Boys books.

Guy hates carrying change around with him. There’s just something about the weight of it and the clinking sound it makes in his pocket as he walks that drives him insane. He prefers to carry bills for cash and usually lets the salespeople keep his change wherever he goes.

Surprising thing about Goldberg…the boy is not only gifted with a green thumb, but he genuinely likes taking care of his plants. He only got them because his parents wouldn’t let him get a pet…they didn’t think he was responsible enough for a pet so they bought him a rather high-maintenance houseplant to take care of first so that he could prove that he could be responsible for another living thing. Turns out that he enjoyed caring for the plant so much, even giving it a name, that he ended up wanting more plants instead of an actual pet.

Jesse has a tendency to argue just for the sake of arguing. He legitimately enjoys arguments and I have this headcanon that he found the debate club during high school and it’s the most at home he’s felt since playing with the Ducks. Like, those are his people, that’s where he belongs. He gets really involved with debate throughout his high school career and I think he wants to go to law school after graduating.

Terry Hall…still hasn’t gotten the grasp of gum honestly. Not saying the kid is stupid, because he certainly isn’t. It’s just that he cannot, for the life of him, remember that gum is for consistent chewing, not eating, especially if the gum in question is a really fruity, sweet flavour.

I really do think that Karp is someone who is really easy to take advantage of. He gets bullied a lot as a kid and he’s someone who just naturally is the kind of person who really wants to make others happy and to have others like him. He’s a very generous friend but the fact that he’s willing to do almost anything to have his ‘friends’ like him means that he gets put into some pretty brutal situations and gets used throughout his childhood and teen years.

I think Peter’s an army brat, or something along those lines. Something tells me that this kid is someone who moves around a lot throughout his life because of his parent’s careers. He’s used to never staying anywhere really long enough to form completely solid relationships. He’s used to always being the new kid and needing to impress and be tough enough to both make friends and avoid bullies. I also think that while he really would like to settle down in one spot long enough to make serious friendships, the idea of doing so kind of scares him.

Luis taught himself how to juggle when he was a kid. He’s also really skilled at hackeysack.

Connie has the habit of pacing around when she’s deep in thought. There’s just something about moving that helps her think better and if she really has something on her mind, she tends to go running or jogging. The tougher the problem is, the faster and further she tends to go as she loses track of where she is or how far she’s gone.

Dean can burp the alphabet. Forwards and backwards. He’s really quite proud of this.

Fulton’s worst habit? He’s really bad at sitting and staying still for long periods of time and he starts fidgeting when he has to do so. He’ll stretch, move around in his seat a bit, crack his knuckles, but the worst is his leg because he’s definitely one of those guys who bounces his leg when he’s bored or restless, almost aggressively so.

Dwayne really likes to sing. He’s not horrible at it by any means, though a little tone-deaf. He’s a huge fan, because of how he was raised, of any older country, with Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash, and Conway Twitty being favourites of his.

Russ has the tendency to get cold really easily. It can come out of nowhere too, with no real reason for him to have a chill or to be cold. He just is. He tends to always carry an extra layer with him as a just in case.

Ken has weird eating habits. He has to eat all of one thing before he can allow himself to eat the next thing on his plate. For example, if he has fries and a burger, he’ll have to eat all the burger before he’ll start eating the fries. He can’t bring himself to mix and match his food and not even he knows why.

[nriacc]

Me & You Together Song | NRIACC: Matty’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100​​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 26k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger​​ and @sunsetinmyvein​​ for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon​​ and @alovesreading​​, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ June 15th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Matty’s heart felt like it was bleeding for you the night you called him upset asking if you could come and stay with him. He knew his heart always hurt when you got upset but with you crying out for him, it felt scarring.

Never had he felt such pain like it. The drive to yours felt like the longest one he’d ever done, despite this being the closest you’d ever lived to each other.

The rain didn’t help his anxiety of wanting to get to you as fast as possible but thankfully the roads were mostly dead because of the late hour. When he got to your flat, he let himself in with his key and he rushed to you, finding you clutching your rabbit teddy and crying in bed.

Matty doesn’t think he’s ever felt you hug him as tight as you did that night. He had you in his arms settling you down for the next hour, getting you to a point where the tears would dry up so he could get some of your things together and get you to his house where you pleaded for him to take you.

Matty would find out in the days after you started staying with him that you’d been struggling with the confines of lockdown a hell of a lot more than you’d been letting on. It broke his heart that you didn’t reach out sooner but he’s beyond thankful you finally did because the days after he got you, he saw that spark you always have in you reignite.

The first few days of you staying with him was hard. It was clear you’d got into such a bad place due to you sleeping though most of the morning, which was really unlike you as he remembered you always having him up earlier than anyone needed to be in mornings.

Matty would also catch you living in your head a lot. You weren’t being your usual chatty self and he felt like he had to pry you back out of a shell he doesnt ever think he’s seen you go into.

But thankfully after about a week, he got you back to your normal and creative self and he did this by encouraging you to come out for walks with him. Ones that were filled with places Matty had planned for the both of you to explore to keep your mind ticking over and keep the both of you talking even after you got back to his house.

That evening, you were both sitting in Matty’s courtyard and the small view you got of the sky as the sun was going now reminded both of you of your box paintings that were always a feature at your galleries. It was the perfect picture to paint and Matty’s simple request of “Could you please paint it for me?” was one you couldn’t turn down because the look on his face really did relight that creative fire.

Thankfully, Matty had grabbed your travel kit which has everything you’d need to paint something well and when your best friend rushes to get that when you said you’d give it a go, you do so feeling that excitement in your chest. It was a race against the ever changing light to capture what you can see of the sky well on the sketching paper which Matty had never ended up using which had been buried in one of his drawers.

Your best friend was entirely vexed watching you work. The way you’d gently bite your bottom lip or the tip of your tongue when you were really concentrating made his heart stutter. It had always been the little things when it came to you that had Matty in a chokehold, and watching you paint is certainly one of them.

But the main one is your smile. And the way your whole face lit up when you finished that painting that evening had Matty falling for you all over again, but he wouldn’t risk your friendship by doing anything about that. He was just so beyond thrilled to see you happy again.

It became your little tradition in the days after that. The both of you would sit outside and you would capture the sky in a box painting of yours and Matty would watch as you’d come alive with each stroke of your brush.

You were yourself again in those days too. Matty wasn’t worrying about you or having to try and pry you out of your shell.

Inside, you were feeling so much better and in your heart you knew that was all down to Matty. In the little things that he did for you, and the way he could keep you occupied with his conversations or his music for hours on end made living this new way of life so much easier. And you found your heart slipping back into its old habits.

Watching True Romance with him almost every night certainly helped with the uneasy feelings of lockdown passing. Because as long as you had Matty by your side and for you to cuddle into, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Matty was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

You felt yourself get back to normal the more time you spent with Matty. It was like going back to default settings and things just felt so much easier. With every hug you felt happier, with every kiss on the cheek you felt your heart grow warmer. You felt yourself again and that was all down to Matty.

A few weeks have passed with you in Matty’s presence now and you’re certainly the happiest you’ve been in a long time and you caught yourself reverting back to your old ways.

The way you would act around each other made your heart stutter because it was like you were back together again without all the acts that prove people are in a relationship. Apart from that first night you came and stayed at Matty’s, you’d been staying in his spare room, not sharing with him like you realise you desperately want to.

The nights when you both fall asleep cuddling each other whilst watching films and neither of you are disturbed until morning are your favourites because you stay in his arms. The nights when Matty wakes you up so you can be comfier in your own bed leave you with a bitter taste.

There’s not a second you don’t want him by your side now. Every single second of the day that you get to be around him is a blessing and you’ve quickly and quietly fallen for him again. But you know that’s just you letting your repressed feelings come back to taunt you a little longer.

The more you think this over though, the more you question why you’re actually holding any of your feelings back in the first place. You’ve fallen for him again, and you’re not really sure when you actually did or the exact moment it happened, but the mere fact you want to be in no one's arms but his makes you his.

And you realise this one night about 2 weeks into staying with Matty. It’s no surprise to anyone that you’re a clingy drunk, but especially when you’ve just been watching your favourite film with each other and you’re already a bottle of red deep with him.

You’re currently lying on Matty’s settee, with his chest against your back and you’ve got Good At Falling by The Japanese House playing quietly through Matty’s speakers. The both of you had been getting nostalgic, asking each other things like if the both of you remember when you first watched True Romance together and if the both of you remembered when your Aunt embarrassed him one Christmas.

The warm feeling in your chest swells when you remember the cute moments you’ve had with him, and you find yourself turning over so you can see him when you ask in your tipsy state, “Do you remember when we first saw each other?”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, and you stop yourself from chuckling at the way he forces his eyes open a little more as if to try and prove to himself he’s not tipsy. He recalls the moment for you, “You were a very pixelated pretty girl on Skype somehow related to my best mate... I still don’t quite believe you’re related to Hann.” he tells you as he tucks your hair behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Your Aunt, definitely.” Matty grins, but he shakes his head, “But Hann… I don’t know how that works.”

“He’s not that different from me, you know?” You hum in amusement, before you ask, “Can I have a proper cuddle please?”

Your boundaries and filter has clearly been drowned away with the amount of alcohol you’ve had, or that will be your excuse anyway. Thankfully though, Matty nods with a smile and the both of you manoeuvre yourself so you’re lying between his legs with you practically hugging him as you nuzzle yourself into his chest.

Matty’s arms wrap around your back as he says, “He is, you’re a lot better.” and he even pulls the blanket over the both of you as it’s on the back of the settee.

You hum, fully enjoying how close you are to him and the comfort he brings you with his hand softly running up and down your back. And after a few moments of silence, you ask him, “Do you remember when I was over one year and you came not to talk to me or to Adam, but to my Aunt and Uncle so you could convince them that Adam had to stay around and go to Uni of Manchester?”

“I do.” Matty laughs a little remembering how dead set he was that the band was going to work and how mental that must have been for you to hear. “Although I remember that trying to convince Ross’ Mum and Dad was more difficult because they were so set on him having Salford Uni as his second choice instead of his first.”

“I’m glad everyone stuck around.” You say as you look around Matty’s lounge and see the pictures he has dotted around of his best friends.

It warms your heart, and it warms it even more when he agrees in a soft voice, “Me too.”

After another minute of the both of you cuddling in silence as you listen to the album in the background, you ask, “Do you remember the Halloween party we had?”

“The one where you dressed up as a sexy version of Wednesday from the Addams family? Or a different one?” Matty asks for clarification a little too fast which makes you laugh.

You nod against his chest, “Yeah, I was meaning that one.”

“Yes I remember that one very well.” Matty grins as he starts gently playing with the ends of your hair, “I fucking dreamt about that one for weeks.”

As you giggle at that admission, your best friend tells you, “Your emo phase really gave me more of the hots for you, Wheels.”

You smile, not finding that surprising at all, so you joke, “Who knew your downfall was black hair dye and a pair of fishnets, ey?”

“Mmm,” Matty hums in amusement, “The fact it was you played a part too though.”

“What about that girl Alice you were seeing for a while? The one before Lucy?” You ask, only vaguely remembering her but she definitely dressed a little emo like you, when her and Matty were sleeping together. “She definitely fit the bill.”

“She wasn’t you, Wheels.” Matty reminds you, as no one has ever really come close to you. The woman who’s lying in his arms today, the woman he doesn’t ever really want to let go of.

His words fill your heart with joy again and you sit with that for a minute before you ask him another question. “Do you remember coming to my eighteenth?”

“Yes, and you were wearing fishnets with a skater skirt and… I could never forget just how good you looked that night.” Matty can’t help but smile at the memory of you being so happy when you saw him and when you unwrapped that skateboard they bought for you. “Not to mention that was the first time you called me Curly.”

“I can’t believe you remember that night so vividly,” You chuckle, looking up at him as you admit, “I barely remember it, well, anything after nine o’clock anyway.”

“You were really drunk to be fair,” Matty smirks at you, “And I was just enamoured by you so I was watching you all night.”

“You realise if you weren’t obsessed with me you’d have known I was actually friends with Arctic Monkeys because they were all there.” You grin right back at him, still finding it hilarious that he didn’t believe you for so long.

“Damn, yeah.” Matty chuckles, and he resumes playing with the ends of your hair once you rest it back down on his chest. He ends up giggling to himself when he admits, “I only remember Y/B/F though... She was just as fit as you.”

You frown a little, even though he can’t see your face, but you call out his double standard nonetheless, “And you had an issue when I said I fancied George.”

“I never tried to shag your best friend, did I?” Matty makes a very good point, “You can’t say the same about that, can you?”

“Okay okay.” You know when you’ve been beaten so you’ll give him this one, “You have a point.”

Both of you giggle then and you settle again. You let your eyes close as you listen to Faraway over the speakers and it makes you snuggle into him impossibly closer. It warms your heart that this is the song Matty’s backing vocals are on and it makes you smile when he starts soft humming along to it now underneath you.

The lyrics really hit you hard, and it's at this moment you promise yourself that in the next few days you’re going to tell him how you feel. And even feeling him run his fingers through your hair now it makes your heart race for him, you want him back how you used to be when you were together properly.

And the thoughts of you together makes you nostalgic again. And you think back to the first summer you met again.

“What about teaching me how to skate?” You ask, keeping your eyes closed wanting the visual memories to come back more vividly, “Remember that?”

“That was such a fun day.” Matty can’t help but grin at the memory. “Will never forget the sheer panic on your face when I told you to move on your own.”

He feels you chuckle against his chest before you tell him, “I remember watching you all and feeling so left out… I just wanted to be as good as you all but I was scared.”

“Yeah, your first time on the ramps told me as much.” Matty laughs again remembering the way you were clinging to his arm and begging him to go on a slope instead.

You giggle again at that before saying, “And now I’m even better than you.”

“Well, the student becomes the jedi master or whatever shit Hann says.” Matty hums in amusement and it warms his heart when you let out a loud laugh. God, he just wants to kiss the top of your head and have you stay in his arms like this forever.

After another few seconds, you feel the need to ask again, “Do you remember-”

But Matty interrupts you, “Do you think I’ve forgotten?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten?” He repeats himself.  

You’re so confused, “About what?”

“About you?” Matty puts it simply, “About us?”

When you look up at him, still seeming like you don’t understand where the question has come from, ”You keep asking loads of questions about us and if I remember... Do you think I’ve forgotten about you, Sweetheart?

Your drunk and now tired mind almost lets your feelings spill. Truthfully, you want to go over everything to remind yourself why you love him, and you don’t want to ruin this moment with him now if he doesn’t love you too. So you settle on explaining, “I don't know if you remember everything I do. There's a lot to remember... I bet you remember so much about me in the years you were pining for me that I don't.”

The way you timidly say it, like you're almost scared or embarrassed to admit it makes Matty want to reassure you more than he ever has done before. He doesn’t want you for a second to think that you’re forgettable.

“I’d never forget about you, Sweetheart.” Matty looks into your eyes as he tells you that, and his face is soft and he’s smiling as he tells you, “You are in each of the best moments of my life… Top three are all you.”

Your eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, his grin getting bigger.  

“Do you remember the day you told me you loved me?” He asks you, really hoping you do because it means so much to him.

You nod, remembering the day well, “Course I do.” and you really hope that one day soon you can start telling him again.

“That was the second best day of my life.” Matty tells you, “I remember sitting on the ramp in the skatepark and we were in our own little world. Entirely in everyone’s way and I knew we both knew what was coming... But when I finally said it and you said it back, I could finally breathe again.”

You almost want to cry when you remember just how much you loved him, and it's never really gone away because it's just been built upon and it’s come back so much stronger. Matty proudly states again as he tucks your hair behind your ear again, “Second best day of my life.”

“Second?” You ask a little curiously, because if that’s his second you don’t know what his top will be.  

Matty nods, “Yep.”

“What was the first?” You have to ask.

He grins at you and you know he will tell you, but he instructs, “Ask me my third first.”

“I hope your third is your music.” You really really hope it’s something like the day he won a Brit Award or a day one of his albums reached number one.

So you’re surprised when he shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Please tell me it’s something to do with music.” You need it to be at this point, because how can his music not be in his top three?

“If you count my muse as something to do with music, sure.” Matty's smile gets bigger when your eyes widen and you shake your head at him. He knows you’re about to tell him off so he tells you, “Music is involved but the music isn't why it was one of my favourite days.”

You practically plead with your eyes for him to tell you then, and when he does you don’t know how you restrain yourself from kissing him there and then.

“The day you told me that you’d be my girlfriend. That day you kissed me on stage and told me that you liked me back.” Matty finally tells you, “Will always be up there.”  

Your heart is beating even faster for him when you ask, “So what's number one?”

“The day we kissed for the first time in my bedroom.” Matty reveals, and you can see the genuine happiness on his face when he says, “That blew me away… Still don’t really think there will ever be a day like it.”

“You were all I’d wanted for so so long. And I couldn’t believe it actually happened.” You can feel how much he means his words as he smiles, “If your shirt that you changed out of wasn't in my room that night I wouldn’t have believed it happened… My lips tingled for days.”

You’re so in love with this man, it hurts.

But Matty ends his anecdote with a laugh, “All the while you were going through a moral dilemma because of your twat of a boyfriend.”

“Yeah well Peter can get fucked.” You chuckle, and you move a little further up Matty’s body so you can bury your face into his neck, “He never made me feel like you did when we were together. It was infinitely better with you Curly, I wish I’d just phoned him up and broke up with him then and there and stayed in Manchester.”

“I wish you did too.” Matty sighs a little as his arms wrap around your back again, hugging you impossibly closer.

After a minute, you hear him ask, “Do you know the exact moment I fell in love with you? Did I ever tell you?”

“I don't think we did share that with each other.” You tell him, and by your voice Matty can tell you’re getting tired now, so he makes your brain work a little.

Matty asks, “Do you know the moment for you?”

“Yeah,” You nod into his neck, “But I need to know yours first though… And I mean like proper love, not love at first sight.”

“I knew at the top of that ferris wheel.” Matty starts gently routing his fingers through your hair and he gives you a head massage.

He knows you’re tired and he remembers doing this to get you to relax to go to sleep endless times when you were together. “I knew I was down so so bad for you that day. And when you kissed me at the top, I knew you were it for me.”

Your heart bursts as the memories come back to you, and you’re closing your eyes even tighter in hopes that you’ll dream about it and relive it all over again. He makes your heart swell when he continues, “You made me feel so safe being with you up there… I just remember thinking ‘I love this girl so much, I never want to let her go’.”

You just about manage to say through the lump that’s just formed in your throat, “You’re so adorable.”

Matty smiles at that, and he can tell you're going to fall asleep any minute so he asks you, needing to know, “What about you? When did you fall for me.”

“Which time?” You say without really thinking about it.

Matty instinctively says, “The first time.” not fully processing what you just said.

“When you held my hand at my Aunt and Uncle's wedding during the speech when he started talking about my Dad…” Your tired voice explains and Matty wants to do nothing more than kiss you and hold you tighter when you say, “No one had ever done that for me before and you didn’t let go even after the subject moved on and I was so so thankful to you… I fell for you hard that day.”

Matty’s eyes tear up at that, and he can’t stop himself from quickly kissing the top of your head. He can feel the lump in his throat but he forces himself to take a few breaths so he doesn’t just start crying.

Matty had always asked you so many questions about your Dad and what he was like. He didn’t want you to ever feel like it was a subject you shouldn’t bring up as he knew that’s how your Mum sometimes made you feel. So it really means a lot to Matty that the reason you really knew you loved him is that moment.

At this point, you can feel yourself falling asleep so with every ounce of sincerity you can muster, you whisper, “Thank you for falling in love with me.”

Matty’s sure his heart stops for a second. Because his hand moving to give you your head massage definitely does for a second, but he covers that by kissing your head again before he whispers back, “You made it the easiest thing to do.”

Matty gets lost in his own memories of the both of you then. He goes over everything he can remember from the first time you met to you in his arms right now. And he holds you tighter when he thinks back to some of it, but he’s so grateful that you’ve found your way back into his arms now.

Matty can’t help but smile as he thinks about the conversation you just had with him. He loves how open you still are about everything, even if the alcohol is loosening your lips a little.

But then when he recalls near the end of your chat, when he asked if you remembered when you fell in love with him, he almost gasps when he realises what your reply was.

He’s unable to stop himself from thinking out loud and asking, “Wait, what did you mean which time?”

There was more than once that you fell in love with him? He knows that you’d always said that when you fell for both him and Alex it was because you’d just repressed your past feelings for him. But then after the both of you last slept together, the both of you knew that was a closing chapter in your life.

There was no doubt that Matty had since fallen for you again. With how supportive you were after Gabby split with him and how you’d been with him before lockdown, it makes his brain light up with the question, Has she fallen for me again?

But when Matty tries to look down at you for an answer, he realises you’re asleep in his arms. And that’s when he realises how long it’s been. Good At Falling is already at Faraway again meaning that that album has at least repeated itself more than once, so you’ve probably been asleep for a while now and he’s not noticed.

Your best friend lets you rest and now he stops giving you a head massage like he realises he has been doing for God knows how long and he just rests his hand on your back instead. However, Matty doesn’t know if it was the fact he stopped playing with your hair or something else that seemed to have you stir but after about 10 minutes you woke up.

“Sorry,” You hum, “I fell asleep.”  

“Let’s go bed, Sweetheart.” Matty encourages, rubbing your back a little to encourage you up even though he doesn’t want to let you go.

However, you plead, “Can we stay here please?” really not wanting to move out of his arms and get into a cold bed that you didn’t have him to warm you up in.

“You’re lucky I connected the lights to my Alexa the other month.” Matty gives you the confirmation and you smile like a fool in love as you let yourself try to get back to sleep then.

You feel like you’ve never been so cosy. You wish you could stay here forever.

After Matty turns off the lights and music on his phone, he lets it fall back beside him and he cuddles you into him more. And when he gently rests his head against yours, you know he’s going to try and get some sleep as well which makes you happy.

Matty has always found sleep tedious, but somehow you make it a lot easier for him. He’s almost asleep when he hears you whisper, “So far.”

“What?” He hums, not understanding where it’s come from.

But you really make his heart warm and he falls asleep with a smile on his face when he hears your reply.

“They’re the best moments of your life so far.”

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Look what Jamie just dropped off.” Matty walks back into his lounge with a huge grin on his face and he’s holding up the Notes On A Conditional Form vinyl.

“Oh my god,” You make grabby hands at it, so keen to finally see what it looks like in person. Matty giggles and passes it to you as he comes to sit beside you.

Eagerly you pull the record out of the sleeve and your jaw drops when you see how glorious the neon yellow pressing of it is. You coo, absolutely loving it, “It looks so pretty.”

“It does.” Matty hums, delighted at the vinyl itself and seeing the way you’re grinning at it.

After admiring it for a minute more, you carefully put it back into the sleeve and then back into the record jacket which you see is the alternate, minimalist version of the album art.

You did both of them as asked, neither were that hard but the one that has the yellow cover you know is going to be the cover of the album on Spotify and all the other streaming platforms so you decide to ask about it.

“I still don’t know why I did all that artwork for Notes and then you quickly went for the minimalist sleeve.” You raise an eyebrow, hoping he’d answer the question for you.

“Cheaper.” Matty tells you, “Better for the environment, and that’s what I’m passionate about at the minute.”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking it through and realising it probably is, “Fair enough.”

You look at the record in your hands again though and ask Matty, “Can I please listen to it?”

“Mmm,” He hums, “I don’t know.”

You pout then, leaning that little bit closer as you say, “Please.”

Other than the songs you’d heard on tour, you had no idea what the others sound like. You know that the album overall is all of the electronic synths and that is the vibe they have gone for with this album but you’re just so keen to hear it all and in the order they all settled on.

“It’s out soon,” Matty reminds you, “Do you not wanna wait till the listening party?”

That was originally the plan, you were in no rush to hear it, but now you’re just so keen to listen to the new album as you haven't heard anything new in so long. And you’ve been eagerly waiting for this album since you were on the US tour with them last year when they were recording it in the back of the bus and you just let them be.

“No, I want to be rapidly tweeting along with you.” You say, despite knowing it’s just a few more weeks you would be waiting. But the excitement has hit you now the album is physically in your hands, “I wanna know every last word by then.”

Matty takes a few seconds then and you really don’t know which way he’s going to decide. But when he sighs, “Okay.” you have to double check.

There’s excitement in your voice when you do, “You’re gunna let me listen?”

“If you will let me have that last painting you did outside.” Matty grins.

It was just a quick one you’d done two nights ago. The sky was a mixture of red blue and purple and you captured the moment so well and despite it just being a quick painting you weren’t attached to, Matty loved it. Yet another one he would proudly frame and put up if you let him.

“Of course you can have it, Curly.” You smile, calling him by his nickname despite the fact he’s got his buzzcut now. You tell him truthfully, “Can have any of them, you don’t have to ask.”

Because the quick ones you’d been doing were just fun practice for you, you never got attached. You remember back when you were younger Matty always used to be amazed by them whilst you thought they were just okay, but the fact he still wants one now makes you stupidly happy.

Everything about him does though. He makes you happy and you’re finding it hard to keep that to yourself now.

“We can listen after tea, yeah?” Matty nods at the vinyl that you just put down on his coffee table.

You nod, hoping the day passes by quickly, “Sounds good, I’m really excited.”

You brightly grin at Matty then, and he smiles back but you can see that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and immediately you ask him, “What’s up?”

Of course, he tries to cover up his emotions though and immediately says, “Nothing.”

At that you give him knowing eyes. You’ve known each other for 18 years, nothing is not going to be the answer he gives you when you can tell there’s something, however big or small, bothering him.

“Sorry,” Matty apologises for attempting to keep it from you, but he leans back into his seat and takes a deep breath before telling you the truth, “I just get nervous when I know you’re going to hear an album.”

You’re thankful that it’s only that, and you can instantly calm him because there’s no way you won’t love his album. You adore all of his others and think they’re amazing and you will tell him that if you need to.

“Really?” You have to ask, “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t want you to hate it… I don’t want you to be upset at anything I’ve said, not that I think I've said anything in this album but it still worries me.” Matty explains, a sombre mood falls over him when he tells you something you didn’t know he knew about. “I know you told me about you listening in LA but Jamie told me how bad you were as well a few years back and it haunts me a little… I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“No,” You shake your head, not wanting him to think about that because you know how he’s probably taken it, “Don’t apologise for that.”

You turn towards Matty properly as you take his hand to hold as you address that specific night, “I took a lot of those songs the wrong way the first few times I heard them. I took everything as a personal attack when a lot of the things weren’t about me either.”

You continue as you look into his brown eyes, silently pleading for him to believe you, “I was in a weird headspace back then and I was looking for things to hurt me. Everything's so much different now, Matty... I’m so much happier than I was and regardless I don’t hate any of the songs on that album. I listen and I think they are gorgeous even if they do still hit every now and again, but that's a risk with every album that’s about me, not just yours.”  

“I-” Your best friend tries to start, but you need him to understand, so interrupt.

“I adore your music, Matty.” You put it as simply as possible for him, and you squeeze his hand when you say, “I love all of it… I-”

You have to stop yourself then because you almost tell him how you feel, something that you at least want to do after your birthday tomorrow. You’d like at least one more day of being as close as you are in case his feelings aren’t the same as yours.

“I loved A Brief Inquiry.” You start again and remind him, “Did you think I hated that album?”

“No, but I was still nervous when the release date came around.” Matty tells you honestly.

“Matty,” You want to hug him and never let go as you can still see the worry in his eyes. Thinking of things that can help, you remind him, “I’ve heard a few already and I don’t hate them.”

“Not even the things that are about you?” He questions because he really is worried about it.

The last thing he wants to do is upset you with anything he’s written about you. Even though he has been better with this album to not directly reference you, the lyrics just sort of ended up finding Matty and after he recorded them he realised a lot of them were about you and how he felt about you.

“No.” You promise him, “Writing songs has always been your cathartic way of getting your feelings out. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and even if they do sting sometimes I don’t hate you for it Matty. I’m glad you’re getting it out.”

“I’m still so sorry for hurting you… For everything around 2016 really.” Matty’s eyes fall to his lap when he adds when his voice falters, “And everything earlier.”

Instantly, you know he’s thinking back to the accident. The cheating too but you know the accident is such a triggering subject for him you don’t want that to start plaguing him again like it once did.

“Hey.” You squeeze his hand. Gently asking him, “Please look at me.”

You see him blink a few times before he looks up and your heart bleeds for him. If you could take it all away from him you really would. The last thing you want is for him to feel guilty again about the accident that wasn’t his fault. You would literally find the police report again if you had to.

Seeing those brown eyes again but this time filled with a little more water than before, you remind him, “We agreed we’d live easier.”

“I know, but it still keeps me up sometimes, Wheels.” Matty says in a strained voice but he clears his throat a little to try again, “Not all the time, like it used to, but sometimes it just creeps back in.”

“Well that’s not allowed anymore.” You hope that he can hear just how much you mean your words in your voice as you promise him, “Just like your letter said about it being my reminder if I needed to remember how much I’m loved, I’m here and always will be to remind you that you’re forgiven.”

Matty has to look down at your hand then as his eyes fill with more water and his throat closes up. He takes your hand in both of his this time and he massages it for a silent minute and you just let him go through it, knowing he’ll speak up when he can and he wants to.

Your heart really does ache seeing him like this. All you want to do is trap him in a massive hug and tell him you love him and kiss him until all of those feelings go away.

And this is the moment you promise yourself that you're going to tell him how you feel. You’ll will do it the morning of the day after your birthday because you don’t want to waste anymore time. At this point you’re starting to feel like you’re hiding things from him and that’s the last thing you want.

Little did you know, Matty is having a similar conversation in his own head. After what you just told him, he doesn’t know how he hasn’t just told you how in love with you he is, and how everything that he once felt has come right back and it’s even stronger than it ever was.

He still finds it so shocking that you forgive him. Guilt still eats away at him a lot of the time, but it comes on in waves these days. Sometimes he’ll be okay for a while and then it will devour him for a few days at a time leaving him wanting to do nothing but curl up in bed and cry.

So the mere fact that you remind him that you’re able to forgive him has Matty emotional. He remembers you telling him before, that night in 2017, and you’ve told him again once or twice since but it really hits home for him now.

Hopefully things won’t keep him up tonight now you’ve reminded him of that. But he’ll probably just stay awake thinking about how he can possibly tell you the way he feels about you. Because he needs to tell you soon.

After a few minutes of you watching him, and him massaging your hand, Matty looks up at you and he smiles as much as he can and says, “Thank you, Sweetheart.” and he kisses the back of your hand too before repeating, “Thank you.”

~*~*~*~

You’re still a little certain Matty was putting it off for as long as possible for you both to listen to Notes tonight. Which you now understand but you were so insistent and excited Matty finally caved and put it on about 10pm.

You adored the new instrumentals that came after People, and you thought they were so beautiful. And the first new song with lyrics you heard was Yeah I Know which you really enjoyed too.

Then Because She Goes came on and you could sense Matty was a little on edge. He didn’t look at you during it which gave you an inkling that it might be about you. And when you heard the lyric ‘beautiful, please don’t cry, I love you’, you really hoped it was about you and it made you feel a little braver about telling him how you feel in a few days.

Jesus Christ 2005 has Matty singing with Phoebe Bridgers and as soon as they released the studio version a month ago, you’d fallen in love with it. You’d only heard Matty’s version of the song when he sang it during an interview in America that you were there for, but Phoebe’s vocals beside Matty’s made it even more gorgeous.

Roadkill made you laugh, as it was just a summary of that American tour and it sounds like a feelgood song. You also really loved the references to Robbers that he included too. Of course, you also already know Me & You Together Song but it makes your heart ache even more as you just long to tell Matty how in love with him you are.

Whilst you love the sound of I Think There’s Something You Should Know your heart hurts for Matty because he sounds like he’s going through it in the song, especially the second verse. It breaks your heart listening to what he’s talking about experiencing.

The first real line of Nothing Revealed / Everything denied being ‘I never fucked in a car, I was lying, I do it on my bed, lying down not trying’ makes you look at Matty acusingly. Because that was a blatant lie.

When the both of you couldn’t be at either Adam’s or his house the both of you went on your drives and got up to no good in the car. Both of you end up giggling through that song as you playfully call him a liar and you bully him for it and ask him again if he’s forgotten all of the things you got up to. You end up having to restart the song to hear it all properly as you were laughing so much.

Now you’re waiting for the next one to start which you can see from the back on the vinyl is Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). As the beginning of it starts with the high pitched vocals, you quickly ask Matty, “Is this one about me?”

“The chorus is,” Matty looked like he was debating with himself before telling you that. But he continues, “Not the verses, I just made that up for a story to the song. But Yeah.”

You nod, not minding at all, as the title of the song really gives you some hope. But you need to listen first.

Matty goes shy on you again when the chorus starts, looking at the ground instead of your reaction. Which is fine but hearing him sing tonight I wish I was your boy makes you want to throw yourself at him and kiss him until you both need oxygen again.

As the song fades out Matty risks a glance at you, and when he already sees you looking longingly at him his heart leaps in his chest. He doesn’t really know where the confidence comes from, but he ends up turning the music down a little whilst he asks, “Did I fuck it royally?”

“No,” You shake your head, your voice soft with a little trace of amusement in it as you clarify, “You didn’t fuck it, you muppet.”  

You’re trying to say it without actually saying it and you know that it really isn't what you should do, but what you said gives Matty that little push he needs.

“Listen Wheels,” Matty turns to you a little more, and shuffles closer to you on the settee as he starts, “I’ve been wanting to tell you that over the last few weeks… I’ve really enjoyed you being around again and I- I don’t know if I should be saying this…”

You feel like your heart is in his throat as he continues, “I guess I’ve been nervous about it, but it’s you. You’re my Wheels and I shouldn’t feel nervous talking to you, and… yeah.”

The smile you’re trying to suppress is really fighting to come out as you watch Matty fidget and look almost anywhere but at you. His hands run over his short hair, a new habit of his now he can’t tuck his hair behind his ears when he’s nervous. But at this point you know what he’s trying to say.

“And you deserve the truth if nothing else, and I guess I just want to tell you that I-, we-, I-” Matty stumbles on his words before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before saying, “Sorry, just give me a second.”

Despite your heart now thudding rapidly in your chest. You work up the courage to do it. Just a few seconds of mindless bravery and you hope with everything that you have that it will pay off in the way you want it to.  

“I’m in love with you, Matty.” You tell him.

It’s to the point, plain and simple. No room for any misunderstandings to take place, and as soon as you’ve told your truth you feel lighter for it. He knows… The ball is in his court now.

Immediately Matty looks up at you, shock clear in his voice, “What?”

“Yeah.” You nod, and you tell him everything, “It’s been on my mind for months, even more whilst I’ve been here. But I was scared to tell you.”

Matty ends up asking, “Why were you scared?” despite him not even being able to get his words out to tell you himself because he felt exactly the same way.

“Scared you wouldn’t want to try again with me.” Saying that makes you a little emotional.

It’s a scary possibility and the thought of it hurts your soul more than you’d ever let on if this did end up going the other way. But you’re worrying for absolutely nothing.

“Wheels, you’re all I’ve ever wanted,” Matty’s getting choked up as he smiles and tells you, “I love you so fucking much and I always have.”

Hearing that makes your eyes prick with tears, but even more so when he continues, “Of course I’d want to try again. Been dreaming about the idea for weeks.”

You giggle, wiping away your watery eyes before it turns into real tears, “So have I.”

It’s just relief flooding your system and seeing that Matty is the exact same makes you feel a little better about it. Both of you laugh as you dry your eyes before Matty chuckles, “Fuck sake Sweetheart. Come here.”

And you don’t hesitate for a second. His arms are open to you and you throw yourself into them, but immediately you attach your lips to his.

You’ve missed the feeling of him so much, the way his kisses light up your whole body and make everything feel okay. Kissing him feels like you're young, like it's the first time all over again and you never want to let him go.

It's a searing kiss, filled with all the longing and passion you have for each other as you hold onto him tightly, completely afraid to let go. It almost feels like a dream, but one that you’re certain each of you wouldn’t mind never waking up from.

With each kiss you’re trying to silently tell him just how much you love him over and over again and Matty is matching your intensity, making you feel his love like you’re hoping he feels yours. He’s your Curly, your match made in heaven, your soulmate, you were always meant to mean this much to each other in some way or another.

Both of you don’t want the moment to end, your lips feeling lonely and tingling for more when you pull away. But you have so much you want to say to him that you hold yourself back from kissing him until both your lips are swollen.

Matty is holding your waist tightly as you straddle his lap, but when you pull back, he can’t help but giggle as he tucks your hair behind your ear as he admits, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks.”

“Same.” You giggle, and both your thumbs are brushing his cheeks as you hold his face. And you’re so stupidly happy that you’re back in his arms that you’re trying to memorise everything about this moment. You tell him softly, “I’ve missed you.”

Matty’s watching you too, no doubt taking the moment in as well, but he makes your heart burst for him even more when he kisses you again and he mumbles against your lips, “I’ve missed you so much more.”

This time you kiss him properly, deepening it almost straight away. And it could be a minute or it could be ten that passes but neither of you care, you’re just beyond happy to be kissing each other again and with the knowledge that you know you love each other too, it makes things all the more special.  

When the both of you part, neither of you move away. You have your foreheads against each others as you catch your breath and share a quiet moment.

Matty smiles as he brushes his nose against yours in the softest eskimo kiss, loving the way he can practically see your eyes sparkle. You can’t disguise the pure and utter elation that you’re feeling.

“So?” Matty hums, the huge grin on his face not leaving for a second. He can’t really believe he gets to ask, “Curly and Wheels round two?”

Your heart melts entirely and you nod, wanting nothing more in the world. You tell him honestly, “You’re it for me, Matty.”

He wants to cry hearing that because that’s exactly how he feels. You feel like you could burst with happiness when he nods, agreeing entirely, “I want it all with you, Sweetheart.”

“I’m going to marry you.” You promise him, giggling slightly but that’s what you’ve always wanted with him.

“Good,” Matty nods, and he’s grinning like a fool when he says, “Because I will ask at some point.”

You giggle at that before kissing him again. You’re beyond words, beyond happy, and entirely too emotional to do anything else. All you can do is kiss the man you love with everything you have left to give him.

Both of you find it difficult to keep kissing, as all you wanted to do was carry on grinning. You have no doubt that for a long while you’ll be like this, all gooey and obnoxiously in love with each other but you already don’t want to change anything about it.

Matty loves you so much, and he always has and always will. Hearing you say that you loved him before was like cupid had shot him through the heart with an arrow all over again. Never for a second did he think he would get this second chance with you but the fact you seem to have felt the same way for months, just like him, has him thanking every higher power there might be.

From the first moment his eyes landed on you, he knew you were it for him. Forever would you plague his mind, body, and soul in the best way possible. It has meant that he’s loved you with everything he has, on every possible level imaginable, and he can’t let himself think about it for too long because he doesn’t want to cry, even though they would be happy tears.

Instead Matty pulls on your hair a little to stop you from pulling away and he bites your bottom lip too, still loving the way you react when you do it. And even when he pulls away to gently kiss all over your face to make you softly giggle before teasingly kissing down your neck, he’s just so thrilled your back in his arms and he gets to experience everything with you all over again but now with a fresh start.

He’s not ever going to fuck it again. You mean far far too much to him to ever let anything stupid happen again.

Of course, whilst you love him kissing your neck, right now you want his lips on your own again, but without his curls to pull on to encourage him back up it’s a little difficult. You end up giggling a little as you move your hand under his jaw and nudge him back up to you that way.

After a few more kisses, you pull away, before pleading, “Please can you grow your hair back. Please.”

You need his curls back. Whilst it's not a deal breaker, you miss them so much and all you want to do is be able to play with his hair again.

Matty giggles at your appeal, knowing it was bound to come at some point. But he nods and promises you, “Yes, I’ll grow my hair back.”

Truthfully, he would probably promise you anything at this moment in time with you like this in his arms again.

“Missed my Curly so much.” You fake a pout as you run your fingers over what little hair he has at the moment.  

“I’ve always been right here, Sweetheart.” Matty reminds you, “Not going anywhere.”

Your heart feels like it could burst again, and you tell him again, “I love you.”

And like he’s always been able to, Matty can see just how much you mean it in your eyes. You’ve always been so easy for him to read and he adores that he can see how much it affects you when he tells you, “I love you.”

You all but melt in his arms, and you’re completely and utterly besotted with him. You kiss him again and it’s just as electric as it was years ago. From the little pecks to the lengthy kisses, he takes your breath away and you’ve always taken his away.

Even when you eventually part, and just sit beside each other to cuddle together and Matty puts the end of the album on at your request, you can’t stop grinning. Not even when he goes back to where you were up to and he realises what was playing when you told each other how you felt.

“I’ve just realised you told me you love me whilst Shiny Collarbone was on in the background.” Matty sighs, “That’s really not how I envisioned that going.”

You can’t help but giggle at that now though, finding it rather hilarious after just hearing the song properly again.

“Not what I imagined either,” You laugh, “It’s yet another unconventional but very us moment, that’s for certain. But I love that.”

You end up cuddling into him even more as you both lie down on his settee and listen to the end of the album. You’ll have to have a proper listen again tomorrow because for the last half of it you’re entirely too joyous to pay it the attention it deserves.

Especially because your head is buried into Matty’s neck for most of it as you whisper how much you love him.

Matty shamelessly asks you after a couple of songs, “Do you wanna watch True Romance after the album and tell me you love me because I wanna watch it and tell you?”

“Of course I do.” You smile, kissing just below his ear before you trace them up his jaw until you find those pretty lips of his again.

You stay in that loved up bubble until his new album ends and even then it’s almost a hardship for you to let each other go for long enough to set True Romance up for you both to watch.

Of course, all throughout the film you’re stealing kisses from each other in between quoting the characters. In the parts neither of you care for, you cuddle yourself into the other more, loving the feeling of being back in each other's arms as close as you’ve wanted to be for weeks with the freedom to kiss each other.

I love you’s and I adore you’s were said throughout. Some whispered like it was a fun little secret that you were telling each other, others professed like you want to shout it from the rooftops.

But when the film draws to a close, with the happy ending version obviously, you kiss Matty as the iconic soundtrack music of You’re So Cool plays. And when you pull away, you’re grinning as you tell him, “I love you so much, Curly.”

Whilst you know in your heart it's impossible for him to, you do love it when Matty kisses you whilst he promises, “I love you so so so so so much more, Wheels.”

~*~*~*~ July 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Going to a live-in studio after a week of isolation from you all was probably the best thing for all of you. The only downside of it would be that you and Matty haven’t yet told any of the band that you’re back together again, officially or otherwise. They know nothing.

You’d done this mostly because of the fact you and Matty were nothing if not self-aware. You’ve been obnoxiously and almost sickeningly sweet with each other.

Since getting back together, you’ve barely left each other alone. You go on walks together, you eat together, you sit practically in the same seat despite there being a full settee for the both of you, and not to mention the way you cling to each other when you’re cuddling in bed.

It’s been nice just the two of you getting silently acquainted with each other again, both body and mind. Both of you have been the happiest you have in a long long time and you knew nothing would change that.

But now lockdown restrictions are a little easier, and the boys album is finally out, of course Matty was itching for something else to do. So that is how you’ve all ended up at this studio that you will be living in for the next few months.

You know you and Matty are staying here for the full time, as is George. You know that Adam will come and go so Carly isn’t on her own all the time, and you know Ross has been staying at his mates house over lockdown too so he might go between you all and them too.

It’s honestly a miracle that either you or Matty have let each other go long enough to get all of your stuff in the house. You’ve done a pretty good job at leaving each other alone too whilst you greet the rest of your friends but now it’s got to the point where you need to tell them.

The five of you are in the big lounge this place has and you take a deep breath before you stand up.

Here goes nothing.

“Okay,” You get their attention, “So you know I’ve been staying with Matty and-.”

“Yeah,” George interrupts, “Pretty offended you called him and not me.”

Instantly you snort at that, a serious moment quickly becoming funny with his fake jealousy and glare. You pout, “I’m sorry Georgie.”

He hums in fake forgiveness but the smirk that pulls at his lips gives him away that he’s joking. You’re about to start again, but just as you open your mouth, the drummer speaks up again, “You’re looking very pretty today, Baby.”

Whilst the nickname still makes your cheeks go hot, you say, “Thank you George.” before you try again, “But yeah, like I was saying, I’v-”

Of course, he interjects again, not letting you get your words out. He opens his arms and says, “Come and give me a cuddle. I've not had one in months and it’s unfair when you’ve probably had loads of Matty.”

You sigh then, but hide it as you look down to the ground so he can’t see. After a second, you walk towards him saying, “A quick one, okay?”

The drummer nods and he happily embaraces you, letting you sit on his lap for a moment as you cuddle into his big chest. You’ve certainly missed George’s hugs whilst you’ve not been forced to be separate from everyone.

After a long few seconds you try to pull back from him but his arms stay fixed around you. So you have to tap on his chest as you instruct, “Right, let me up.”

“No,” George says as he hugs you tighter, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” You giggle, “But we have all the time in the world.”

“Nothing as important as right now.” The drummer squishes you into an even bigger hug.

You just give in at this point and let him hold on to you. Catching Matty’s eye you know he’s getting slightly irritable now, purely because you know he’s wanted to be honest with Adam and this new delay from George is grating on him.

Bless your boyfriend though, he’s been really worried about telling Adam. He thinks that your cousin is going to kick off at him and be against your relationship, and Matty’s worried it’s going to come between his friendship with him but also how close you and Adam are.

You’ve told him time and time again that Adam will be fine with it. That Adam will be happy for the both of you, but Matty doesn’t seem to think so.

Secretly, you think that might be something to do with how protective Adam was of you after the first time you split up, with him not letting Matty fight for you or even come to collect his things from your flat. You know your cousin was just trying to minimise the hurt you were going through back then and you wish it could have been different, but that’s how it played out and it’s left Matty quite scared now.

“George,” You say seriously now, “I need to tell you all something.”

“Tell us from here.” George tries to bargain, but you need to get up.

Playfully you try to tickle him to get out, but you forget that he’s a lot stronger than you and he doesn’t like being tickled.  

Immediately his hands are around your wrists stopping you, and he pulls you back into him, your wrists at his chest and he widens his eyes at you. You try and get your apology out but he’s too quick, both of your wrists are now in one of his hands and you glare and warn him, “Tickle me and I’ll hurt you.”

But of course, you’re in his lap all you can do when he tickles you is writhe and plead for him to stop. You despise the feeling of being tickled and you’ve punched him before now for him trying to do it, you’d punch anyone for trying to do it, but how you’re stuck and George is having a good laugh at you.  

Matty, having enough of it with how stressed he currently is, accidentally lets the news slip as he tells George off, “Will you get off my girlfriend!”

“Your girlfriend?” Ross’ asks, at the same time George’s eyes go wide and he stops tickling.  

You sigh, thankful for now being released, you tell them, “We were about to tell you.”

“I can’t believe the day finally came.” George says, deciding now he would just rest his hands on your thighs.

Ross starts to interrogate you, “Since when?”

You tell them truthfully, “The day before my birthday.”

“And you moved in with Matty when?” The bassist looks to your boyfriend for an answer.  

Matty thinks for a second but he recalls, “The beginning of June.”

“Wow,” Ross appears to look back around at you with a massive shit eating grin on his face when he says, “Not even three weeks.”

“Why do you care?” Matty asks, almost accusingly.

George grumbles, “Because he’s just won a bet.”

“What?” You question, noting his disheartened face and Ross’ elated one.

“Ross said less than a month,” George explains whilst he digs his wallet out of his pocket, “I said more.”

As you see him counting out £50 in cash, you shake your head at both of them, “You’re both little shits.”

“No, that’s you for losing me money.” The drummer scorns you as he reaches across to hand his friend the money.

“No, you’ve done great,” Ross grins, taking it and pocketting it immediately before he leans down and kisses the top of your head, “I'm very happy for you.”  

You’re happy about that, and Matty seems very amused that his friends have had a bet on the two of you. Truthfully it really wasn’t that surprising, but it made it all a bit more lighthearted. And you and Matty really are predictable like that so it’s funny they have tried to make a profit off of you both.

However, you realise that the most important person you wanted to tell has yet to speak a word. You look over to your cousin and try to gauge his reaction, “Ads?”

He’s silent in his chair, just watching you all. It has Matty’s heart racing and not in a good way at all. A quiet Adam could result in many different things, the worst being when he looks disappointed, closely followed by the times he’s exploded in anger, but none of you can predict how this is about to go.

And that’s why you look at him and sincerely plead, “Ads please please don’t be upset, it’s really not to make your life difficult, I just-”

“Y/N,” Your cousin holds a hand up to stop you from overthinking, “As long as you’re happy and my twat of a best mate doesn't hurt you ever again, even once, I’m happy for you.”

At that you smile and just glance at Matty because you knew he would be happy for you.

“Not going to hurt her ever, Hann,” Matty promises, looking your cousin dead in the eyes when he says, “I swear on my Nana.”

Adam maintains his eye contact for a few silent seconds, just to intimidate him the tiniest bit more before he visibly relaxes and smiles, “Then I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Wait,” Matty looks like he can’t believe what’s just been said. He asks your cousin, “Really?”

You interject thought to remind Matty, and you have a big grin on your face as you say, “I told you he’d be fine.”

Matty looks at you like he just might cry, and he looks back at Adam again wanting confirmation, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” Adam nods and he looks at Matty sincerely when he says, “You’ve always loved her Matty, and you make her happy… She’s been in love with you again for months.”

You’re feeling all gooey inside watching this take place. And your cousin knows you so very well that you didn’t even have to tell him that you loved him again

Tears prick your boyfriend’s eyes then, and he holds no shame at all in letting a tear or two fall before he then leaps on your cousin shouting, “I love you Adam Hann!”

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Matty yells at the top of his lungs before he grabs the sides of Adam’s face and he pulls him into a big sloppy kiss.

The kiss has you, George, and Ross cackling instantly and you’re so happy Ross manages to take a picture of it. It lasts a fair few seconds much to Adam’s disgust and the rest of your amusement. But it’s just fucking cute to see Matty so fucking happy and entirely relived, even if he does torture your closest family.

When Matty pulls away, and Adam tries his best not to laugh, Matty sits on his lap and continues shouting, “Thank you for your cousin! Thank you thanks for letting me fuck her and not getting too upset about it. Thank you for being a fucking legend, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And your boyfriend pecks kisses all over his face too feeling so overwhelmed with joy. He’s adorable.

“God, I’m gunna kiss your Mum when I next see her too.” Matty chuckles, “Maybe even your Dad too.”

You laugh fully hearing that because he probably would. And your cousin looks even more disgusted by it all, which is even better.

“Please no,” Adam pleads, still trying to push Matty away, “I’m letting you kiss my cousin, not my Mum.”

“Thank you Hann,” Matty kisses his forehead again, “I love you so much.” before he traps him in a tight hug that has your heart melting.

“I love you too Matty.” Adam grins and he hugs your boyfriend right back.

As you’re watching this cute, sweet, heartfelt moment take place, you just sit back in George’s lap and enjoy the moment. You adore that your boyfriend loves your cousin just as much as you do, and you’ll always love their friendship.

However, as you’re admiring them, George whispers in your ear, “Does this mean our threesome can happen now?”

You almost choke on air. That truly was the last thing you expected George to say as you’re witnessing this wholesome practically family embrace happening in front of you.

Unable to stop yourself, you snort and shake your head in disapproval at him. But instead of giving him an answer, you just jokingly pat his cheek and say, “Give me another month with him, Babe.”

George chuckles at that, and he wraps his arms around your waist so he can hug you as he says, “In all seriousness, I’m really happy for you Baby.” and he leans down and kisses your shoulder.  

“Thank you Georgie.” You pout and you kiss the top of his head because despite being a menace you do love him and he’s adorable. You want him to find his real soulmate now, and you even gently knock your head against his as you smile, “Just gotta find you your girl now.”

“Yeah,” George hums, but he sounds disheartened when he admits, “Can't see that happening any time soon.”

And you know he means with lockdown restrictions and everything happening in the world right now. And he’s not that big on doing anything online but you have faith he will find his girl when he least expects it.

You just smile and assure him, “She’ll come spinning in soon, I have no doubt.”

George grins and leans forward to kiss your cheek quickly. And you realise he’s done that right before Matty gently grabs your hand and drags you up from your seat.

Your boyfriend traps you in a tight hug as he says, “I love your brother.”

“I love him too.” You chuckle, and Matty very quickly kisses your lips before you head to Adam and he jumps on George and starts celebrating like it’s the first time he’s ever kissed you.

You wrap your arms around your cousin when you say, “I love you Ads.”

“Love you too.” He responds and you love the way he hugs you even tighter when he assures you, “I’m really really happy for you both.”

“Thank you for assuring him,” You whisper, looking over Adam’s shoulder to see your boyfriend now entirely at peace and horrendously happy. You tell your brother, “He was really really worried.”

“I could tell. But honestly B, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” Adam promises, pulling away from the hug to look into your eyes and remind you, “And he’s obsessed with you, it was only a matter of time before you two found each other again.”

“Don’t make me cry Bro.” You warn him because that nearly got you.

Adam just chuckles then and you chat about how Carly and their dog Stevie is for a few minutes. That is before something occurs to your cousin and he has to ask you about it.

“Have you told Alex by the way?” Adam asks you.

“Not yet, I'm going for a walk with him next week and I'm going to tell him then.” You explain, “I wanted to tell yous first so please don't say anything until I do.”

You feel like you owe your other best friend that much at the very least after everything you’ve been through.

“Don't worry, I won't.” Adam promises, “If you had I was just wondering how it went, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. He will just want you to be happy, same as me.”

“Hope so.” You smile.

You are a little worried about it, but after everything you’ve been through you know in your heart that everythings going to be fine when you tell him about you and Matty. You know your best friend just as well as you know your cousin, and you knew he would be fine so you can’t imagine Alex being funny about it.

Adam assures you though, “I know so.”

The rest of your first day at the studio is really fun, and you adore that you get to spend so much time with them over the next few months. After going from no one to having your family right back in front of you it makes you feel so thankful and grateful that you’ve all been okay.

Whilst no other artists are here that they want to record with, you really do want to make the most of your time alone with them. And that first night, you all ended up ordering a huge banquet for you all, and you had the best time laughing and eating and drinking the night away.

Arguably, the funniest part of the night was the moment Matty called you over, “Hey Wheels?”

“Curly.” You grin as you walk over to take his extended hand and he pulls you towards him so you can sit down on his lap.

You happily oblige, but not before pressing a kiss to his lips.  

Your boyfriend is all smiley when you pull back, and he silently thanks his lucky stars that you’re his again before he asks what he called you over for, “Can I ask you a few words in French?”

“Course you can.” You nod, happy to help him with anything he’s curious about.

“Okay, how do you say ‘bag’?” Matty asks.

“That’s an easy one.” You hum, “Sac.”

George then chips in and asks, “And the number one is Un, right?”

“Yep,” You smile, encouraging him even though that is primary school knowledge, “Très bien.”

“What’s ten?” Matty asks, drawing your attention back to him.  

“Dix.” You tell him, giving him the benefit of the doubt because he’s drunk, but he really should know that, drunk or not.

George asks you again, “And how do you say ‘happiness’?

“Bonheur.” You tell them with a little grin on your face because that’s the exact emotion you’re feeling.

You’ve just had a lovely meal with your family and you’re having the best time getting drunk with them. An evening filled with endless laughs and you’re too elated and blissfully unaware as to how you’re being set up.

“Say all them words in a sentence for me.” Matty asks, giving your waist a squeeze of encouragement, “I know it won’t make sense but please do it.”

Clearly, because you’ve had alcohol yourself, you don’t realise the trap that you’re about to walk straight into.

“Bag, one, ten, happiness?” You frown for a second, but Matty nodding in approval has you doing it without much thinking. You say them all together for him without giving it much thought, “Sac on dix bonheur.”

Matty and George burst out cackling at the same time then, and then you realise what you’ve said. The phrase loosely sounds like you’re saying, ‘Sat on this boner’ in English.

“You're such a dickhead Matthew.” You smack him over the back of his head playfully. You stand up, getting off his lap as you retake your seat between a chuckling Ross and Adam.

You look at the two best friends on the other side of the table and scorn them accordingly, “I did not learn an entirelanguage for you to do that to me.”

“Hey,” Matty holds up his hands in surrender but his amused grin never leaves his face. He looks like he could burst out laughing at any second as he says, “Just trying to be funny.”

“Stop trying to be funny in a foreign language,” You shake your head, “It doesn't work. Especially like that.”

“Was pretty funny to me.” George mumbles behind his hand but you hear him loud and clear.

“Fuck off George!” You shout at him before picking up your glass of wine and downing the last of it.

“Aw Babyyyyy, don’t be like that.” George pouts then, pretending to be all concerned with you until he cracks and says, “I just want you to bag one ten happiness, Baby.”

At that, Matty and Ross drunkenly snort the loudest you’ve possibly ever heard before they burst into a shriek of laughter. George joins in and it takes everything you have to not laugh along with them because even Adam cracked at that and he usually hates jokes about you like that.

“Ross,” You shake your head, “I expected better of you.”

“I’m only mere mortal, Y/N/N.” He laughs before he traps you in a side hug, “Besides, you wanna bag one George and Matty’s happiness too.”

The whole table erupts back up then, and you start laughing. It’s Matty and George’s drunken breathless cackles that have you laughing, and you just push Ross’ shoulder as you fake disapprove of his joke.

You love these boys so much, and despite them all being absolute menaces, it really is good to see the old gang all back together.

But Christ, this is going to be a long few months

~*~*~*~ 3 days later ~*~*~*~

“What you doin’?” Matty makes you jump as he pulls your AirPod out of your ear whilst you were listening to Favourite Worst Nightmare particularly loud.

You turn back to scorn him with a distasteful frown, and at the same time you quickly close your laptop. Acting innocent, you say, “Nothing.”

Matty chuckles at your shocked reaction, but the way you shut your laptop far too quickly has your boyfriend curious, “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.” You maintain your ground.

“Wheels…” Matty smirks, “Shall I get George to hold you down whilst I tickle you, or do you wanna just tell me?”

Teasingly he leans down over you then, and you maintain eye contact with him trying to seem like you have some sort of ability to say no to him. But that only lasts a few seconds because your boyfriend just leans down and kisses you sweetly until you’re both giggling.

“I was looking at puppies, okay?” You give in and tell him.

The only reason you didn’t want to tell your boyfriend that is because you don’t want him to think that you’re sad for looking at cute dogs whilst he’s busy at work and you don’t feel like painting today. Sometimes looking at puppies is all the serotonin boost a person could need.

“Puppies?” Matty raises his eyebrows in slight surprise.

“Yeah,” You nod, “In the first few months of lockdown I was really debating getting one.”

Matty sits down on the settee beside you, and he excitedly says, “Show me.”

“Really?” You ask a little wide eyed.

“Yes, I love dogs,” Matty reminds you, before laughing, “Sweetheart, where have you been? That Coup De Main photoshoot with the puppies was the best one ever.”

You smile thinking back to those adorable pictures of your friends and you open your laptop back up to show him your favourites which takes at least 20 minutes. Matty finds it funny how you’ve gone as far as to bookmark the ones you absolutely adore, but he thinks his heart stops when you show him a black Cane Corso puppy.

“This little guy was borning back in April and no one has snatched him up yet.” You show your boyfriend all the pictures of this cute little guy getting bigger as the pictures go on. “I’ve watched him get older at this point.”

“Oh my god, look at him.” Matty coos loudly at a particular picture of the cute pup giving the camera those eyes that you just can’t say no too.  

“He’s fucking adorable.” You quickly agree, and you’re about to change to close your laptop again when Matty stops you when he excitedly points at your screen.

“Wheels!” Your boyfriend gasps excitedly, and you see him point at the location the pup is at, “That’s like a forty minute drive away!”

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh, not thinking much of it and you wonder why he’s so excited.

And Matty turns to you and says, “Let’s fucking call them and get him.”

Your eyes go wide, “What?”

“Let’s go and get him.” Matty repeats, but this time he’s more excited, like a puppy himself who hasn’t been trained yet.  

Just to be certain, you ask, “You wanna get a dog?”

“If you wanna get a dog with me, Wheels, I will get one with you?” Matty is grinning so hard, his cheeks start to hurt. But he is serious when he adds. “I don’t wanna pressure you, like if you don’t want to because I’ll be away on tour sometimes and you don’t want to be left with him. We don’t have to but if you wanna get a dog with me I wanna get one with you.”

“I don’t feel pressured,” You promise him, “I just didn’t think you’d wanna get a dog today... Besides, a dog would be nice company when you’re away anyway, that isn’t a hardship. A dog would be easier to deal with than you some days.”

“But you won’t have to deal with me not being here for a while yet,” Matty leans forward and kisses your lips a few times between him grinning like a child who wants a sweet. “So… We could call and see if he’s still available?”

You can’t even pretend like that’s not a great idea. Kissing him back quickly, you question, “Do you wanna call or shall I?”

~*~*~*~

You were the one that ended up calling the owner up and after a lengthy chat, you went to see the puppy. And he was fucking adorable.

The owner did their checks on you and Matty, seeing if they felt comfortable enough around the two of you, asked you about the quality of life you could give the dog with where you both lived and they seemed pleased with your answers and the way you interacted with the puppy. From yours and Matty’s point of view it all felt like the interview of sorts was going well and you were really pleased with their decision.

They decided that they were happy enough to sell you the cute little Cane Corso puppy and that’s how you’ve ended up with the little guy on your knee as Matty drives back to the live-in studio.

The little guy is currently asleep on the makeshift bed of blankets you brought with you and you’ve been stroking him non-stop to keep him settled. You can’t stop looking at him and you know Matty feels the same and as every chance he has he’s glancing at your new puppy.

Matty grins at you, “I can’t wait to get him toys and to play with him.” and he gives the pups head a little scratch whilst he doesn’t need to change gear.

Your boyfriend can’t stop looking at the way there’s a smile permanently fixed on your face. Even you cooing and awhing at the small dog, he can tell has you all gooey inside and him seeing the two of you together has Matty feeling the exact same.

“Oh, I have no doubt that you and this little guy getting into play flights will be pure mayhem,” You laugh, “Especially in the studio with George there to tease him as well.”

“Mayhem…” Matty hums, a smile growing on his lips. “That’s a cool name.”

“You wanna call him Mayhem?” You almost gasp, looking down at the poor dog who has been nothing but sweet and playful in your presence. You cuddle him closer, “But he’s so cute.”

“But did you see him with his Mum, he was so chaotic,” Matty chuckles thinking back to the owner's dog and the way the pup interacted with its Mum, bouncing about around her and probably annoying the older dog a little. It was cute, so Matty says again, “Mayhem would be such a fitting name. Or we could call him Chaos.”

You think about it for a second, and you really can’t imagine yourself shouting Chaos at the park when you take him out for a walk. So you agree to Matty’s first suggestion.

You quickly tell him, “I prefer Mayhem.”

“Mayhem it is, Sweetheart.” Matty confirms with a nod.

You laugh, finding deciding on a name in a car with Matty all too familiar. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

After about 10 minutes, little Mayhem is awake again and he keeps trying to move out of your lap to sniff and lick Matty which he does to his arm a few times. You have again just had to pick the puppy up and place him back in your lap as he was trying to get to your boyfriend.

“No no no, you can play with your Dad when we get home. Cuddle me Mayhem.” You tell the puppy as you cuddle him into your chest again. But then he looks up at you with those adorable eyes and you start babying him, “Yeah, you’re Mayhem. That's your new name. And you’re so so cute.”

Matty can’t help but find this whole interaction rather adorable as you continue on, “I'm going to need you to stay this cute forever, or at the very least until your Dad goes back on tour and you can be my guard dog and my best friend. Deal?”

And like he can understand you, Mayhem licks your nose as if in agreement which makes you giggle, “Thank you Mayhem.”

Matty’s heart just melted watching what he could of that scene which just took place. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t wait for Mayhem to worm his way into his heart almost as deep as you go.

Thankfully for Matty, the traffic in front of him stops at a red light so he can reach over and scratch Mayhem’s head, but when you look at your boyfriend you see that he’s smiling at you with a lot of emotion in his eyes.

“What?” You ask gently as you smile back at him.

“I’m just happy Sweetheart.” Matty grins, and he genuinely means it with the whole of his being.

His chest feels full with the love he has for you and the visual of you holding the new addition to your little family. Matty doesn’t think he’s ever been as happy as he is right this second.

“I'm glad,” You smile at your boyfriend, and you lean down to kiss the top of Mayhem’s head as he licks Matty’s wrist and you say, “I have no doubt he’ll be a handful but we can handle it.”

“We can.” Matty nods, his smile getting bigger when he says, “This little guy is just practise for when we start a proper family, ey?

It takes everything you have to not let your eyes well up then. Instead you just look at the man you love with the whole of your heart and nod, “Yeah.”

For a few seconds, you both look at Mayhem, laughing a little when he goes to nip Matty’s hand because he’s getting a little too excited. But when Matty scratches the dog's head instead, you tell your boyfriend to make sure he’s aware, “I love you, you know.”

Your words make his heart swell, and his do the same to you when he sincerely tells you, “I love you more.”

You shake your head, “Impossible.” because with the way you feel about him, you don’t know how he could love you more.

But he really can. He’s loved you since he first saw you, and he will remind you every single day that he loves you more than he ever thought possible.

“Not for me.” Matty shakes his head and leans across to kiss you.  

~*~*~*~ August 7th 2020  ~*~*~*~

Of course when you got back to the studio a few days ago, the guys absolutely loved Mayhem. The evening of work they had planned was thrown out of the window entirely.

Everyone loved the dog, you and Matty barely got a moment to yourselves with your new dog, but thankfully you got that when you went to bed and Mayhem came and cuddled you both. And the owner had already had him vaccinated too so you got your moments alone with your puppy when you went out on walks too.

He’s a good dog, completely adorable and as he’s a little older than most puppies usually are when they leave their Mum, he was trained a little too. There was still work to do but you have all the time in the world with him.

Matty kept calling him chonky which never failed to make you laugh. You were honestly so thrilled, and even today when you drove back to London with Mayhem so you could go on your walk with Alex in his local park, you’re excited for someone else to meet your new dog too.

Alex met you at the park, and immediately he crouched down to Mayhem’s level and let the dog sniff, lick, and even jump on him. Your best friend looks like he could spend all his time with your new dog and you both laugh when he jokingly told you to go back home and he would take Mayhem on the walk.

When he stands up, you hug your best friend so tight as the last time you got to hug him was back in March. It’s been a fucking long 5 months.

You and Alex walk and catch up with each other for a long while. And obviously it gets to a point where you have to tell him about your relationship status.

After just building your way up to getting it out, you just end up telling him simply, “Me and Matty are back together…”

You find that you’re almost bracing yourself for some sort of negative reaction from him, but instead your best friend keeps a straight face, and he looks at you and asks, “Are you happy?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “I really am.”

You have no doubt that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. You’re hopelessly in love with your boyfriend and all of your friends are fine and healthy in the midst of the pandemic you’re currently in.

The painting’s you’re doing are the best you’ve ever done. You’re the most inspired to create you ever have been, and you’re happy in your own body and in yourself.

“Good,” Alex smiles, and he playfully nudges your shoulder as he says, “I’m happy for you. For you both.”

And it’s like relief floods you. All you’ve ever wanted is for both of your best friends to get along, and you realise it was partly your fault that they never did, but after hearing Alex say he’s happy for both of you, it makes you think that they can actually be friends with each other now.

“Thank you, that’s all I want for you too.” You’re grinning like a fucking idiot with how joyous you currently feel. “I just want you to find someone and be really happy with them.”

“Thank you Angel.” Alex says, but then you watch as he looks down to the ground and tries to hide a huge smile coming to his face.

Immediately, you stop walking, much to Mayhem's distress, but you make your best friend look at you when you ask, “What was that grin?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, and he goes shy, so you know something is going on. Or more like someone.

“Alexander Turner, that was not nothing,” You’re grinning now, seeing him all embarrassed. You don’t let it go, you press on, “You had someone in mind… Who was it?”

“I’m sort of speaking to someone and it’s at the point where we never want to be off the phone to each other.” Alex admits and his cheeks get increasingly rosy as he gets more embarrassed.

Your jaw drops, absolutely thrilled for him and loving this information. More details are needed though, and you continue to pry as you both start walking again, letting Mayhem explore a little more.

“Who?” You excitedly ask, “Do I know them?”

“Believe it or not,” Alex chuckles, running a hand through his hair before he looks at you and explains, “You actually had a hand in setting us up.”

Your eyes immediately go wide, not recalling doing anything to set him up with anyone. You wonder if it’s another artist you’ve made him listen to before now and he’s met them because he said he liked their music. But you’re well off.

“Who?” You ask with wide eyes.

Alex is trying not to grin like a fool as he explains, “Do you remember who you met in Tennessee with Matty?”

“Ella!?” You almost scream her name in the park.

Alex is chuckling at your wide eyes and the way you ask excitedly, “You’re speaking to Ella?”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking non-stop since New Year.” Alex confirms, with pink cheeks and he’s a little embarrassed when he admits, “Literally not an hour goes by when we're not on the phone or texting each other.”

Instantly, you’re calling your best friend adorable and he tells you how they started talking again. For the entire story you’re cooing, making Alex more blushy but he tells you how much she means to him and how finally he wants to pursue her properly.

Whilst you think this new relationship is the cutest thing ever, you have to bully your best friend for a second when you remember a defining feature of Ella’s.

“Oh, you’re a horny fucker,” You look at your best friend with knowing eyes, “You just want that ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo wrapped around your throat.”

You couldn’t really forget that tattoo on the back of Ella’s hand if you tried. When you were dancing with each other on the side of the stage at The 1975’s show in Nashville, you grabbed that hand of hers many times to twirl her around and you’re sure you were accidentally longing for it around your own neck.

Alex laughs, and he nods, “I wanted that hand wrapped around my throat eight years ago.”

“Should have put a ring on her back then instead of that other American.” You tell him, thinking how him and Ella would have probably gone the distance if he had gone for her instead of Arielle.

“Yeah yeah I know, but we're going to make up for lost time.” Alex is smiling like a fool as he tells you, “I really like her and we get on as if we’ve still been chatting all these years.”

You’re beyond happy for your best friend. You can see that he’s entirely in love with her already, as his eyes sparkle when he talks about her, the exact same way his eyes used to be when he looked at you.

You’re so thankful he’s found the right person for him though. And you hope to every higher power that they work out.

“I’m a little bit jealous of you,” You admit, thinking back to meeting her and what you’ve seen on her social media since, “She’s gorgeous.”

“She is.” Alex nods, and he is entirely enamoured with Ella.

“Not going to lie Alex,” You’re not really that embarrassed when you reveal, “Her Instagram has me in a chokehold. No pun intended.”

And it really does. She’s hot as fuck. And she takes the most amazing pictures of both other people and herself. The photoshoots she’s done of herself and her friends had your eyes going wide and you definitely want her to take your picture.

When you get married you will definitely be asking her to do your boudoir pictures.

“Same.” Alex laughs as he admits.

But you admit just how far back you went, “No, like, I went back to 2014.”

“Stalker.” Alex laughs at you, as if he’s not done exactly the same.

“You’d understand if you’d seen that motorbike picture of her.” You tell him, because she looked sexy as fuck lay back across her motorbike, her figure on full display for everyone to see.

The woman isn’t a model, but she really fucking should be. She just posts content like that, looking all hot for free. She should get paid to do it. The woman is stunning.

“Yes,” Alex shyly nods, “Believe me, I know the one.”

“Ha. I bet you do.” You give him a knowing look, “Dirty boy.”

And as soon as he avoids eye contact you know for a fact that he has been a dirty boy to pictures of her.

Alex tells you about how Ella has been planning to move to the UK as Focus Creeps is taking a change in direction and if she moves to the uk with her boss she will essentially get to be second in charge. So it seems like it will be the both of both worlds, if she moves she will get a promotion and she gets to be with Alex.

The both of you stay and talk for a few hours, and it feels like the time flies by. Before you know it, you realise that to beat rush hour back to the studio you need to be heading off.

Of course, you offer Alex a lift home, but he declines saying he’s going to call Ella on his way back and it makes you coo over their relationship again.

Whilst you know you hugged him earlier, as you’ve been walking around, you notice that some people have been walking further apart, so you ask Alex, “Can we hug goodbye or is it still not allowed?”

“I won’t tell you if you don’t.” Alex grins and you don’t hesitate to throw your arms around him.

As you hug each other tightly, you tell him, “I love you Shakespeare, and I’m so beyond happy for you and Ella.”

“Love you too Angel, I’m happy for you too.” Alex pressed a kiss to your temple, “And once she’s over here we’ll do another walk with her, and go out or something.”

“Yes please, I'd love that.” You nod and you give each other another long squeeze before you let each other go.

You love your best friend so much and you’re so happy that he’s found his girl.

And you love that he loves your puppy too because as soon as he’s let go of you, he crouches down to pay your dog the attention he deserves.

After playing with him for a minute and getting him all excited, Alex chuckles as he pets him, “Nice to meet you Mayhem. I’ll see you again soon.”

You give your best friend one last hug, smiling, “Bye Shakespeare.”

“Bye Angel.” Alex smiles.

~*~*~*~ 7 April 2021  ~*~*~*~

Whilst you’ve been through two more lockdowns since you first got Mayhem, life has improved for you more than you ever thought it could. You and Matty are closer than ever, completely and utterly in love still and you have completely moved into his house with him.

You rent out a little art studio a little further into the city which you absolutely adore, and you have booked another gallery for the summer of 2022. You’ve been taking a lot of commissions recently and every customer seemed to adore them, and you’re really excited for more to eventually come through.

Mayhem is a lot bigger than he was, as he’s just about coming up to being a year old. He is still the most gorgeous and playful dog and you and Matty have him fully trained now and he’s definitely a Mummy’s boy, which is even funnier when you cuddle him instead of Matty and your boyfriend gets jealous.

On a very bright side, you finally have your curly haired brunette back.

During the lockdowns Matty ended up bleaching his hair when he still had a buzzcut, which was a nice change you will admit. You even liked it when he ended up putting a pastel pink dye over that as it made waiting for his hair to grow out a little more fun.

But thankfully, now you have your Curly back and he’s looking as gorgeous as ever. His long unruly curls are back and if you have any say in it, they will never be leaving again.

All of your friends are also doing amazing too. Y/B/F and Charlie are back in the flat as whilst Covid is still around, it’s a lot less dangerous thanks to the vaccines. They are happy and have set a date for their wedding for this coming August so you’ve been helping her plan everything and you’re really excited.

Alex and Ella are official and when she moved to the UK, Ella pretty much moved in with Alex straight away. It was so easy to tell how they effortlessly love each other and the more time they spent together the closer they became. She was staying in a flat for the first month she came over but she was with Alex every single day, so there was really no point in them delaying it.

They are the cutest pair and in October they will be having their 1 year anniversary together. You’ve never seen Alex happier and you’re beyond thankful he’s found his girl.

It’s sickening how much they adore each other, it really makes sense why no one can stand being around you and Matty for too long because you’ve been told that you and Matty are apparently worse. But you absolutely love the couple with all of your heart and you can see them having a very bright future together.

In some iconic news, which simultaneously wrecked your soul, George got himself a girlfriend. Who is the most iconic pop artist on the planet, Miss Charli XCX.

The pair started fucking each other during the time that No Rome, The 1975, and Charli were working on the song Spinning together. The thought of the pair being fuck buddies had you having a bisexual meltdown as that is a sandwhich you wish you could be in the middle of.

At first, you and Matty knew it was the convenience of another lockdown coming along where you were once again in and out of a live-in studio that brought George and Charli together. Boredom in a lockdown and having someone to fuck really worked well, especially for the new power couple.

After the single came out in March, the pair didn’t really have an excuse to keep on fucking, but it was clear to everyone that they really fancied each other. Just as clear as it was to Matty that you fancied both George and Charli a little too much, but they are pretty iconic so your boyfriend let that one slide a bit.

The couple became official just a week ago and you really see it going the distance. They are both into the same music, they both like creating new music to pass the time, they probably fuck each others lights out the best anyone ever has, so you weren’t at all surprised when George made things official.

As he should. He’s probably the luckiest bastard alive. You don’t know who you are more jealous of though, George or Charli.

And you’ve all made it through this pandemic which is a complete blessing. And the first people who come to see you after the lockdown finishes is your cousin and his girlfriend.

They got here a few hours ago and you almost thought that they came a day early before Matty’s birthday party. It’s your boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow and you’re having a small gathering for him, per his request, but it will just be a few people coming round to get drunk.

Today Adam brought his and Carly’s dog Stevie round with them so Mayhem could have a friend to play with. And watching the two gods has been quite amusing as all four of you ended up ordering a take out so you could eat together.

It’s been a really lovely afternoon with them, and you love Carly like she’s your sister so it is no hardship at all for you to get on with her the same way you do with Adam. And Matty has an easy time of keeping you all entertained so you’ve had a really nice day.

As you sit down with another brew for you and her, you ask, “Was lockdown okay for you both? Not get too bored?”

“No, it was okay thankfully,” Carly smiles, and asks, “What about you?”

“Can’t exactly get bored with Matty.” You nod your head towards him and laugh, “The hyper activity really kept us active and it’s always fun with a puppy.”

“I can’t believe how big he is now.” Carly says as the both of you look down to Mayhem who is lying down beside Stevie.

You hum, smiling, “Me neither.”

Mayhem is a big boy now. He’s not the tiny puppy you started out with, which is a little gutting but it’s not like you didn’t know it would happen. You just miss being able to cuddle him with him sat fully on your lap as now he’s far too big.

“Are you sure he’s a Cane Corso?” Adam chips into your conversation, all of you now looking at your dog, “He still looks like he could be a labrador.”

“Just you wait,” You joke, “He’ll be bigger than Matty this time next year.”

“And subsequently you, Wheels.” Your boyfriend teases you, which you do kind of deserve.

“I know,” You chuckle, “But I just want him to be my little baby for a bit longer. I love mothering him.”

“Mother who? Mayhem or Matty?” Carly jokes and it has everyone but Matty giggling.

All of you chat about everything and nothing. Matty telling your cousin about a few ideas he’s had for future music but nothing concrete just yet. But once Adam joins yours and Carly’s conversation, Matty gets thinking and he knows your cousin well, he never usually just comes round to chill out, and he looks like he has a little nervous energy about him, so your curly haired brunette decides to investigate.

Once the conversation finishes, Matty asks the couple, “What’s brought you two over anyway? Hann never just wants to pop round to see me.”

You find yourself laughing at that, still loving how their brotherly love is shown in the way of lightly bullying each other. You offer up a reason, “He might have wanted to see me.”

“Don't be silly Sweetheart,” Matty shakes his head, and then he leans his chin on Adam’s shoulder to ask him, “Do you have an early birthday present for me? Is it a kiss Hann, because I’ve not had one in a while.”

“No,” Your cousin shakes his head firmly, and he jokes, “You would only be so lucky.”

You and Matty watch then as the couple glance and smile at each other and you know something is about to be said before Adam even says, “We actually have some news.”

“Oh?” You smile and raise your eyebrows.

You glance at Matty and share a smile at him because you’ve both debated this time and time again and the both of you think you know what you’re about to be told.

“Has he finally proposed to you Carls?” Matty asks, wanting to get the scoop straight away. And he bullies your cousin a little more in the process, “I think you’ve been waiting long enough for now. I hope he’s done it.”

“Not yet,” Carly laughs, “You’re very cheeky Matty.”

Your boyfriend giggles at that and then throws his arm around Adam’s shoulder as he proudly says, “Bane of your fiance's life.”

“Not my fiance yet,” Carly giggles herself before she looks between you and Matty as she tells you, “We actually came to tell you that we’re having a baby.”

Both yours and Matty’s gasp at the same time, “What?”

“We’re having a baby.” Adam repeats, the couple now grinning at both of your reactions.

They have never seen either of you more shocked. But it’s no surprise to either of them when the both of you immediately get emotional about it.

“Oh my god,” Matty has tears in his eyes when he says, “Why didn’t you tell me to shut my gob?”

Adam just laughs at him, “We tried.”

“Not hard enough.” Matty pulls your cousin into the biggest hug he’s ever given him then and he doesn’t hold back his tears.

On the other settee, you’re the same with Carly. Happy tears are running down your face that you keep on wiping away so they don’t land on her shoulder.

You tell her how much you love her and how happy for her you are. It’s actually difficult to get everything you want to say out because if there’s anyone in the world that deserves a happy little family of their own it is Adam.

After a few minutes, you stand up to hug your cousin and you throw your arms around him, still crying yourself, and tell him, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Adam hugs you back just as tight.

He had been so excited to tell you. It really was a struggle for him to not come and tell you straight away but instead he had to hold off and tell both his and Carly’s parents first.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell him when you manage to stop yourself crying for a brief second, but you’re still clutching him tightly.

It makes Adam a little teary eyed hearing you say that, and he whispers a small, “Thank you.” into your ear.

When you eventually let your cousin go, you see that Matty has his arm around Carly, hugging her by his side and they were just standing watching you. Seeing their smiles just makes you cry more, but at the same time you laugh because it feels a bit pathetic even though you know it’s not.

They all laugh at you and you don’t know who, but you can only assume it’s Matty that makes the other two give you a group hug. All you know is that the next second, your face is in Matty’s chest and Carly and Adam are on either side of you hugging you, all of you laughing.

“We also needed to see if Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Matty would be around to be cool babysitters for us?” Carly says, which is the best thing you’ve possibly ever heard, but you’re too emotional right now.

“Stop, I'll cry more!” You squeal as you wipe your tears on Matty’s top and you bite your tongue to not cry more when he kisses the top of your head.  

“Course we will,” Matty promises, and then he kisses Adam’s cheek, “Hann,” and Carly’s head, “Carls,” and when they look at him, you can hear the emotion in his voice when he says, “We’re so happy for the both of you.”

And later you will remind yourself to give your boyfriend a thank you kiss for getting the words out for you.

After you think you’ve got through the initial emotional reaction to it, and you think the waterworks have stopped for the day. And for a while, you’re right.

You find out that Carly is 12 weeks and they have already told their parents, and they are about to go and tell the other two boys tonight. And they asked Matty if it would be okay to tell the others who were coming round tomorrow and of course he said that it was fine.

Before you know it, it’s time for them to go and tell George and Ross before it gets too late, so the couple head out. But not before they make you emotional again after you’ve hugged Adam goodbye you then watch you boyfriend hug Carly, and you hear her say, “Happy early birthday present, Uncle Matty.”

“Stop it,” Matty says, getting teary eyed again which subsequently has you then same. Matty tells her, “I'm actually going to sob and I will for days.”

You all chuckle at that, and you wipe away another fallen tear from your cheek as you listen to your cousin’s girlfriend.

“Well that's why we came to tell you today. I don’t want you crying on your birthday,” Carly chuckles, “Not to mention we had to come and tell you before you asked me why I wouldn’t drink with you tomorrow.”

“Very clever.” Matty pulls her into another hug, and he kisses her temple.

Once he has let go of Carly, you walk out to the small courtyard at the front of the house with Carly and you help her get Stevie on her lead before you say your goodbye to her there. And whilst you’re there you have no idea that the boys are watching you from the front door after they hug each other.

Matty just told your cousin, “Baby Hann is going to be spoiled rotten and you can’t tell me off for it.”

And when Adam laughs, nodding approvingly, Matty then watches the way your cousin looks at Carly. His whole face lights up seeing her, and the love he has for her is clear to see.

“Adam,” Matty gets his attention back, and your boyfriend pleads with everything he has, “Put a ring on that woman, for christ sake.”

Because he can see just how much Carly means to him. And the pair have chatted before, Matty knows he wants to marry her, so it’s really beyond him why he would wait to get engaged to her even now when they are having a baby together. He just wants your cousin, his best friend, to have the happiest of endings because he deserves every ounce of happiness.

Your cousin just smirks and fires back ,“I could say the exact same to you.” which shocks Matty entirely.

He really wasn’t expecting that. So after a brief second to process what that means, Matty asks, “You’d let me?”

“Course I would.” Adam nods, looking your boyfriend in his eyes when he says, “If you’re waiting for a blessing Matty, you got that a long time ago. You love her more than anyone ever has.”

Glancing back at you and Carly hugging each other has Adam smiling. You and Matty certainly deserve to be as happy as he is feeling right now. So he looks back at your boyfriend and tells him, “You better ask her before she asks you at this point.”

Matty wants to chuckle at that, because it really would be a move that you would pull. But he’s still a little shocked Adam just told him that he would let you marry him, so your boyfriend just ends up nodding, “I’ll get on that.”

And it’s not like he didn’t already have plans to, he just hadn’t worked up the courage to actually ask Adam for his blessing yet.

“You better had.” Adam tells him, before giving him an ultimatum, “Before the year is up or I revoke the blessing.”

Matty frowns a little, “You can’t revoke it when you’ve just given it me.”

Adam just laughs then and Matty all but launches himself into your cousin's arms again. Your curly haired brunette’s voice is full of adoration when he says, “I love you Hann.”

“I love you too, Matty.” Adam smiles, before kissing his best friend's head.  

~*~*~*~ 23rd June 2021 ~*~*~*~

You’re currently back over in Sheffield staying with your best friend and Charlie for a few days with Matty and Mayhem, per Y/B/F’s request. She’s throwing you a small party of sorts for your 35th birthday in a couple of days and you were having a really nice time just catching up with her in your old home.

The both of you have been early risers for a very long time and with Charlie on a 3pm till 3am last night, he was still asleep in bed, and considering Matty never sleeps well, you’ve let him sleep in too. After all, who really wants to be up on a Wednesday morning at 8am if they don’t have to be?

You and your best friend have just had breakfast together and now you’re sitting on the settee beside each other after having just taken Mayhem outside for a quick walk around the block. You just assume that your dog will himself down underneath the window on the floor like he usually does when you’re back home, and he will more than likely fall asleep again soon, but this time you’re wrong.

Instead, Mayhem gets himself up on the settee between you and he spins himself round twice before he lies down, curling himself up into a tight little ball whilst you and Y/B/F smile and stroke him. Your not so little puppy lifts his head after a moment though and he rests it down on your stomach as you are leaning back into your seat.

You smile at that and scratch the top of Mayhem’s head how you know he likes, and you continue doing so until your best friend startles you by saying, “That’s usually a sign that you’re pregnant when dogs do that, you know?”

Of course you’ve heard that myth before, but you’ve never had your own dog to pay attention to like that. You just shake the comment off and say, “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Y/B/F tells you with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She does like teasing you, she misses doing it in person.

“He’s just my affectionate little man.” You tell her, and continue to pet Mayhem. And you defend his actions, “He’s done this before.”

“They bark and become more protective over you too,” Y/B/F tells you more of the folklore, and she raises her eyebrows at you as she points out, “And you said yesterday when we took him on our walk that it was strange of him to be growling and barking as much as he was doing when a few people were walking past us whilst we were sat down.”

A few beats of silence pass the both of you by before your best friend delivers her closing argument, “He could be trying to tell you something.”

“For fucks sake.” You sigh after a minute of glaring at her and getting all pouty about it, “I’m not going to rest now until I take a test.”

You and Matty weren’t exactly being careful, but you’re on the pill. But you’re also very aware that sometimes people can get pregnant whilst being on the pill so you know that for peace of mind you’re just going to have to take a test. You really wish she hadn’t brought it up.

“Oh relax, you and Matty could handle it.” Y/B/F tells you, “I already know you’d be great parents and I’m sure Mayhem would agree.”

You smile at the way she pats Mayhem then and the way he huffs in reaction to her. And thinking about it logically, you know that you and Matty would be fine if you did have a baby, but there are a few things you ideally would have liked to do before that happened. However, at the same time, it really wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Come on,” Y/B/F brings you out of your thoughts and she gets up and offers you her hand to help you up. She tells you, “I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom. I’ll do one with you like I used to make you do with me so you don’t get stressed out.”

You chuckle, loving how she could always make something serious easier to deal with. You nod and take her hand, “Okay.”

So that is how you and Y/B/F are currently in the bathroom, Y/B/F now sitting on the toilet seat lid, you standing up by the sink, waiting eagerly for the results of the two pregnancy tests that are resting on the side of the bath and for the two minutes to be up.

You just nipped back out to the lounge to grab your tea because the nerves that you get everytime this happens makes your mouth dry. But that is your undoing.

You weren’t panicked about it at all, it just seems like your body's reaction when you do take one. After all this was only a conspiracy about dogs knowing if someone is pregnant or not and you’re debunking it.

But you’re an idiot who didn’t shut the door properly when you came back into the bathroom. Because Mayhem has just snuck his way in and his excited tail wagging back and forth has just knocked both of the pregnancy tests into the empty bath, muddling them up so you don’t know who’s is who’s… And one of them is positive.

Both you and Y/B/F swear at the same time, before forming a very quick and calculated plan, neither of you panicking about it though. You just need to know which one of you is pregnant sooner rather than later.

You quietly put Mayhem back into the bedroom with Matty before both you and Y/B/F head out to the closest supermarket to get decent tests. Both of you buy a box of the Clear Blue tests so you can be certain and make sure whoevers positive is actually positive, and when you come back the both of you do your tests again but keep them on either side of the sink.

As you wait, you hold each other's hand and Y/B/F jokes, “Remember when we always used to say that the both of us would end up being together when we found out one of us was pregnant?”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking back to all the times you’d forced each other into doing one and they had thankfully all came out negative when you were younger.

“Least we’re actual adults and capable now.” Y/B/F chuckles and you giggle in agreement.

It feels like the longest few minutes of your lives, and when you check the timer on your phone you still have another minute left. It feels like an age passes and when the alarm goes off it almost makes you jump.

You and your best friend keep your eyes on each other for a moment, and you squeeze each other's hand when she asks, “Ready?”

“Ready.” You nod, knowing whatever the outcome, you’re both going to be fine. You tell her quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/B/F smiles back and after giving each other a nod of encouragement, the both of you check your tests.

When you look down at your test, you find yourself surprised when you see it only has one line… Negative.

It shocks you as the lore about the dogs knowing had really gotten into your head, but then Y/B/F squeezes your hand and you look at hers… Pregnant 3+

“Are you okay?” You immediately ask her.

She looks at you then, nodding a little, but her eyes flick back to the test clearly a little in disbelief, “Yeah, just a bit shocked.”

And of course she was going to be. You bet she never for a second thought she would randomly be doing a pregnancy test today, let alone for it to come back positive.

You sit her back down on the closed toilet seat so she can process it as best she can as you crouch down in front of her and hold her hand. After a few seconds, she asks you to pass her her phone that she put on the sink too and you grab it instantly and give it to her.

After about 20 seconds of scrolling and tapping, your best friend lets out a little sigh and she looks a little jaw dropped. You’re about to ask her what’s going on until she starts speaking.

“I’ve just checked my tracker, and I didn’t come on last month.” She tells you and she runs a hand through her hair as she looks you in the eyes and scorns herself, “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot for making you worry. I’m so sorry.”

“I wasn’t worried, don’t apologise.” You dismiss her apologies as you would have been fine if it was you, it was something you could handle and you have no doubt if she wants this baby, she will be able to handle it too.

You ask her softly when she locks her phone, “Are you happy? You look shocked, rightly so.”

“Yeah, I’m happy.” She tells you after a brief second of silence. And her eyes get all sparkly when she half grins, “I’m going to be a Mum.”

“You’re going to be the best Mum in the whole world.” You nod, your eyes doing the same as you can see just how much this means to her now she’s processing the news.

Y/B/F is crying when she pulls you into a hug, and she says into your ear, “I love you.”

“I love you so much more.” You promise her.

You’re both crying for a minute, but in this scenario that isn’t a shock. This was a massive surprise, and you’re still a little in disbelief it’s not yourself this has happened to.

Y/B/F releases you briefly from the hug to pull back and ask you seriously, “In the unlikely event that this ever happens to either of us and our boyfriends actually don’t want the baby, can we promise to run away with each other and raise them ourselves?”

You want to sob for her that she would ever think that Charlie wouldn’t want their little baby, because you know for a fact that he will be over the moon when he finds out soon. But you understand that she wants reassurance, and you don’t hesitate to give it to her.

You nod, “You have my word.” and you offer her a pinky swear which she returns instantly.

“Thank you.” Y/B/F sniffles, and she wipes her tears as she says, “I know Charlie is going to be thrilled, but I just needed to hear that.”

“Of course.” You chuckle before telling her that you love her again and she does the same to you.

It’s a fun little cycle that eventually calms the both of you down, and stops you both crying. But that isn’t to say that your emotions can’t be seen on your now puffy features when you leave the bathroom, and it seems like you’re really obvious.  

When you unlock the bathroom door and the both of you emerge from it, you give your best friend another hug outside the door and wish her luck as she’s about to go and wake Charlie up to tell him. But before you even let each other go, the door to the other side of you opens and Mayhem quickly trots out, paying neither of you attention, but your boyfriend clearly does.

Seeing the both of you standing there and hugging each other makes him a little worried, especially when he sees that your eyes are a little swollen. He looks at you first and asks, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah everythings good.” You promise him and nod as you let go of your best friend.

Matty looks at her then though and asks, “Y/B/F?”

“Yeah I’m really good. I’m gunna quickly…” She trails off and points to hers and Charlie’s room and you nod understanding.

She smiles at you again and with one last squeeze on each of your arms, she disappears into her bedroom, and you’re left with Matty.

“Are you okay?” Your boyfriend asks again as you immediately make the short way towards him and you from your arms around him, trapping him in a big hug.

“Yeah,” You nod, hiding yourself in his neck. You make sure he can hear you when you ask a little rhetorically, “I love you, you know?”

Your curly haired brunette nods and promises, “I love you too.”

He has to ask again though, “Is Y/B/F okay?”

“Yeah,” You’re smiling like a fool as you pull back from the hug and tell him, “She’s just found out she’s making us be an Aunt and Uncle again, so she’s a tad emotional.”

And your cute way of telling Matty that your best friend is pregnant immediately has his eyes watering, just like they did when Adam told you both the news.

Matty very quickly kisses your lips, before he hugs you tightly and suggests, “I think we keep getting the best early birthday presents, don't you?”

“The very best.” You hum in agreement.

~*~*~*~

After waking Charlie up and telling him, the pair were obviously really emotional as expected. Whilst he was of course happy, his nurse mode turned on almost immediately and for peace of mind because they didn’t know, Charlie called one of his friends who was at work today and asked if there was any chance they could squeeze Y/B/F in for a quick scan.

She’d been drinking over the last few months as she clearly didn’t know she was pregnant, and of course they wanted the peace of mind that everything was fine. Thankfully Charlie’s friend managed to get them in and whilst they have gone for their appointment, you and Matty have gone out on a walk with Mayhem.

Your curly haired brunette used to love it when you’d take him on walks around Sheffield when you were first together, and he still adores it now. Matty finds that it's your anecdotes that he loves and he adores the way your face lights up as you tell them.

He knows he’s been to this park you’re both currently in before, as you’d shown him the old tennis courts that you and your school mates always used to hang about on, but you seem to have a destination in mind about where you’re taking him and Mayhem now, but Matty can’t guess where.

“Where are we going?” Matty asks as you start to veer off the path in front of you.

Smiling, you squeeze his arm that you’ve linked and tell him, “I know a place.”

“Do you now?” Matty smiles, and seeing that there’s a small sparkle in your eye has you excited, it makes him feel the same.

“Yep,” You grin, “It’s one of my favourite places on the planet.”

Matty’s eyes go a little wide then, asking, “Really?”

Humming and nodding, you confirm, “You should feel very privileged that I'm bringing you here. You’ll be one of three people who knows about it besides me.”

Matty smiles at that, and he doesn’t have to guess to know that you mean Y/B/F and Alex. He smiles at the thought of you finally being ready to show him whatever place it is too.

Matty hums, “It must be special.”

“It is.” You nod, and you tell him honestly. “I came here the most when you were in rehab… Needed somewhere to go to remember your face.”

Because you came every day, if not every other when Matty was in rehab. You needed the comfort your spot gave you and you it really helped when he was away. You’re glad that you’ve made the decision to finally show him your secret place.

You love and appreciate the way your curly haired brunette kisses your temple then as you walk him towards the trees. It doesn’t take you long to find your cherry blossom tree, and Mayhem finds it before you even get to open the curtain of pink petals for him.

You do move them aside for Matty though and you watch his reaction eagerly. You forgot the magic of showing this place to someone new.

The way your boyfriend’s eyes light up when he steps into your pink cocoon that shields you from the rest of the world makes you really happy. His smile also makes your chest ache as he looks astounded at the place, and it gets even bigger when he looks out to see the view you get too.

“Wow.” Matty gasps as he looks back around at the tree, “It’s stunning.”

You’re just grinning at him, taking him in your space and loving his reaction. But you adore the man even more when his eyes go a little wide as the pieces come together, “So this is why you went for a cherry blossom branch when you got your tattoo?” and when you nod, he grins, “It makes so much sense now.”

“Yep.” You verbally confirm, “Makes me feel at home. The tattoos remind me of home.”

Matty grins and he grabs your hand and pulls you towards him, and he looks into your eyes as he holds your waist and tells you, “I feel like I’ve just found the final piece of your puzzle, Wheels.”

You absolutely love that he has put it like that, as in really it is. This hiding spot of yours is the only thing Matty doesn’t know about you, and now you’re an entirely open book to him. It feels exactly how he put it, you’re a completed puzzle now.

As you have a hold of your boyfriend's hand, you pull him around and onto your bench so you can sit and admire the view. And as you’re tying the end of Mayhem’s lead to the bench, Matty asks, “How often did you usually come here?”

“I usually ended up coming most when I was sad, but also on good days too.” You tell him honestly, “But I only come when the tree blossoms, it’s a bit bleak if not.”

“It’s so stunning.” Matty says, turning back around to look at the pink bubble the both of you are in. Your dog takes both of your attention though because he comes and sits by both yours and Matty’s feet and gives you his puppy dog eyes. Your boyfriend plays with him a second as he asks him, “Isn’t it Mayhem? Your Mum’s hiding place is so pretty, just like her. She shouldn’t be upset when she comes here.”

You smile at his playfulness, but you assure him, “I love to come here when I’m happy too, it just brightens my day even more and this is definitely a day for it.”

“It certainly is.” Matty agrees.

Because coming to your spot to reflect on the fact that your best friend is going to have a baby is definitely a good day for it. Especially after the chaotic morning you had, which made Matty laugh earlier when you explained everything to him.

The both of you talk about how it was certainly a chaotic way to find out, and how you both hope everything is okay with their baby. And you laugh over how it was funny that Mayhem got it wrong and how he must have just been more protective over Y/B/F yesterday which led to him barking a little more.

When the conversation leads into a comfortable silence, Matty’s thoughts of this gorgeous spot get away with him, and he asks, “Have you ever kissed someone here?”

You chuckle at that, and all you do is glance at him and warn him, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”

That is all the answer Matty needs, and he finds it amusing so he jokes, “Christ, Alex was a lucky boy.”

You chuckle at him clearly knowing who it was, but you do make sure he knows something for certain, “He wasn’t lucky like you’re thinking. My spot is not R rated.”

“Not yet.” Matty smirks, desperately trying to hold back his laugh.

You just hum, “Dirty boy.” before you playfully push his arm from the back of the bench.  

Your boyfriend laughs, before he shuffles closer to you and throws his arm over your shoulder to hug you into him more. You hum, entirely content with your surroundings and who you’re with. You’re so happy you showed Matty this place.

“Wanna be the last person I kiss here?” You ask him after a silent moment, “Because I won’t be bringing anyone new or kissing anyone else here.”

Matty is grinning at you, so you know his answer before he even says, “I would quite like that.”

“Course you would.” You giggle before you attach your lips to his.

You kiss him like you’ve wanted to kiss him all morning. Entirely too overwhelmed with your emotions and you pour all your love for him into it.

It baffles you how Matty’s kisses still give you butterflies all these years later, but he really does. You’re absolutely enamoured by him and what makes it all the more sweeter is that you know he feels the exact same about you.

When you get all soppy like this, you just want to carry on kissing him for hours on end to try and show him just how much he means to you. And you’re certain that by now Matty understands this form of communication with you, if it’s not his preferred one himself.

Both of you get a little too into it, because that really is what the two of you are like. Neither of you know when to stop, but you eventually do when Mayhem starts getting a bit jealous of the attention you’re giving each other and he tries to jump up at both of you.

“You sure you don’t wanna make it R rated?” Matty giggles after you teasingly bite his lip when you pull away.

You hum and pretend to think about it for a second, but you shake your head, “Not today... Maybe when we leave him at home.”

Matty chuckles before the both of you look down at your dog, and your curly haired brunette jokes to your dog, “You ruining moments like this is why you get left in the lounge when we go to the bedroom, Mayhem. You’re a massive cockblock.” and that has you cackling loudly.

The both of you end up settling down and you peacefully watch the world go by. A peaceful hour goes by before your phone buzzes and you hear from your best friend with the best news.

Wifey: Everything’s fine. Baby’s fine. I’m fine. I’m 10 weeks xx

Wifey: Please bring ice cream back on the way home from the park please x love you xxx

You obviously grin at your phone like an idiot and you text her back congratulating her again and you tell her you love her too. You’re so beyond thrilled for her, you can’t wait to give her another massive hug when you get back to the flat.

You and Matty gather all your belongings and when you untie Mayhem’s lead, you ask your boyfriend, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, and before you stand up he leans in to quickly kiss you sweetly. And he makes your heart flutter again when he sincerely says, “Thank you for bringing me here, Sweetheart.”

You’re grinning like a fool in love, “Anytime Curly.”

~*~*~*~ December 10th 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey,” You walk into your home and are greeted by the sight of Matty sitting in the lounge with Mayhem now getting out of his bed to come and greet you.

“Hey Wheels,” Matty grins and comes over to give you a hug and a kiss after you finish saying hello to your dog. “You had a nice day?”

“I have, thank you,” You smile, kissing him one more time before throwing your arms around his neck and asking him curiously, “You’re not busy this evening, are you?”

“No?” Your boyfriend answers but you can see the curiosity in his eyes. He tells you, “I was just going to start making our tea, but nothing else.”

“Good, and you don’t need to make tea,” You grin, the plan that you made on your way home seems like it could fall perfectly into place. “I’ve decided we’re going on a date night.”

Matty’s whole face lights up, “Are we now?” and he holds your waist a little tighter as the both of you start swaying a little bit in each other's hold.

“Yeah,” You nod, and you tell him your plan, “I’ve phoned your Mum and she said she’ll look after Mayhem for us whilst we're out, so he’s not on his own all evening. She’s going to have him overnight.”

“Oh nice,” Matty grins, as not having the little cockblocker around when the both of you get back would be nice. It gives the both of you a little more freedom, but your curly haired brunette is mostly just excited to get to spend his evening by your side. He’s missed you with you being at the studio for most of the afternoon.

He can’t help but ask curiously, “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to quite literally make one of your dreams come true.” You’re grinning like a lunatic at him, your cheeks hurt because your smile is so big.

Matty raises his eyebrows, “Oh?” trying to think of what it could be.

You tell him, “We’re going to Winter Wonderland.”

“Oh my god, yes.” Matty’s jaw drops in glee.

“I know it’ll be shit, but it’ll be good night.” You tell him why you thought of it, “I saw a poster on the way home and I thought it would be really cute.”

“It’s going to be the best Wheels because it's us.” Matty assures you, and you believe him because you can feel him start buzzing with excitement in your arms. He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the stairs, “Let's go get ready.”

Denise came about 30 minutes after you told Matty about your plans for your date night and she was happy to look after Mayhem for the both of you. As soon as Denise took him back to hers, you and Matty were also getting in the car to drive yourselves to Hyde Park.

When you get there, instantly you both can’t get the smiles off your faces. The both of you end up going ice skating first of all, and you’re glad the both of you went a fair amount when you were younger because you weren’t really at risk of falling over.

Skateboarding over the years had given the both of you good balance too, so you both thankfully didn’t deck it on the frozen ground. After an hour of the both of you clinging to each other on the ice, the both of you decide to walk round the large fair.

Obviously, the both of you go on the rides that skater the park, the ones that allow adults on anyways. The both of you end up on the Waltzers and other shit fairground rides but the both of you couldn’t get enough of giggling with each other at it.

You pulled each other to random stalls that sold all different kinds of food and the both of you had a feast as you then went and wondered about the Christmas markets. You got Mayhem a few bits from a pet stall, you got all three of you a personalised wooden decoration for your tree to put on when you get back home.

You also ended up getting a few more presents for your friends whilst you were here too. All of these gifts had to be put in a locker when both you and Matty ended up going into a haunted house. It was like a ghost train that was shit but hidden inside was someone dressed up as a skeleton and they jumped out and scared Matty to the point where he hid into you.

It almost made you piss yourself laughing and you couldn’t take the rest of the ride seriously. And that was due to the fact Matty was hiding himself into you trying to calm his heart rate down after that jumpscare.

Thankfully, there were no more scary points in the night. The next thing you ended up doing was going into the fun house which was just next door and you and Matty were grinning like idiots when he whisper sang You’re The One That I Want into your ear.

It brought you right back to being 21 again and experiencing a fun house with him for the first time. You were still just as flirty with each other and it feels even more wholesome than it did back then as you’re entirely in love with each other now, and Matty didn’t fail to remind you as you made your way around.

Both of you made it through the revolving barrel without falling over either and you definitely made your younger selves proud. You got so many cute pictures with each other over the course of the evening, you already couldn’t wait to eventually get them printed out and put up in your home.

But thankfully you were able to get some straight away this evening.

The both of you had just come out of Bar Ice which was really cool because you were served your drinks in cups made from pure ice. The both of you had two drinks in there and you’ve just come back outside to start exploring again and Matty finds something instantly.

The way Matty drags you over to the photobooth that he spotted is probably the fastest he’s ever moved which has you giggling. Not to mention the way he can’t seem to get his card out fast enough to pay for the photos, which has you silently laughing as it's such a stark contrast to the first time you pulled him into one of these.

The first picture taken is the both of you giggling at the camera. The second, Matty cups your jaw as he presses a kiss to your cheek. The third you’re holding his face as you plant a big kiss on his cheek. And for the forth, the both of you are kissing each other and the kiss lasts so much longer than it takes for the picture to be printed.

Because you’re entirely obsessed with each other, you end up getting another 3 strips of pictures as there was thankfully no queue. They are wholesome and sweet and it’s just candids of the two of you interacting and being silly with each other. Some you pose for, others you miss because you’re laughing at what the other just did.

The both of you almost don’t want to leave the booth, but you do to collect your pictures. And after you admire them, there’s only one thing left to do.

You were well aware of the 70 metre high ferris wheel being the main attraction of Winter Wonderland, and you could see the fear in Matty’s eyes as soon as he saw it up close when you were paying your entrance fees. It was always silently agreed that this would be the last event of the evening, and now with nothing left to do, both you and your boyfriend join the back of the queue for the giant wheel.

You can feel Matty’s nerves already and as he looks up at the 70 metre monster, he shakily says, “That’s the biggest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Are we going on it?” You ask as you try to mute your amused smile, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

And you truly mean it. You won’t make him go on it if he really doesn't want to because it looks horrendously high to you, and you don’t have a fear of heights.

Matty glances at you, and then back to the top of the wheel that is all light up. He takes a deep breath looking at the highest point of it, but he just looks back into your eyes and asks wholesomely, “Will you hold my hand?

Smiling, you promise him, “Of course I will.” and you offer him your hand now.

“I guess I’ve got no excuse then.” Matty makes his decision as he takes your hand and immediately intertwines your fingers together.

Immediately you lift your hands up and kiss the back of his. And when your curly haired brunette looks at you, you tell him, “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Thank you, Wheels.” Matty smiles before he leans towards you to kiss you quickly.

It’s an anxious 20 minute wait in the queue before the both of you get into your own little cabin and the wheel starts moving. It’s a slow incline as everyone is getting on and off so it frequently stops to give you more time on and more of the stunning views.

Matty’s hand is firmly gripping yours, your fingers intertwined and he’s not letting you go at all, which you don’t mind about. You still find him utterly adorable that he will face one of his biggest fears to see you happy.

You can’t help but joke about it, “You must be so down bad for me if you have one of these tattooed on you, but they scare you as much as they clearly do.”

Matty chuckles a little at that, trying to rid his anxiety and just focus on you instead of the ground getting further and further away from you both. Matty’s brown eyes are looking into your gorgeous ones when he confirms, “I’ve always been down bad for you, that’s never going to change.”

You cheeks get hotter hearing that like he’s just told you he fancies you for the first ever time. And you can’t help but find it funny how he makes your heart beat rapidly in your chest when he’s doing nothing but be his gorgeous self.

The feeling of Matty’s gaze on you as you take in the views around you makes you warm inside. And once you’re near the top of the wheel, you give his hand another reassuring squeeze and you kiss him to keep him distracted.

You’ve just had a silent minute, other than you pointing views out to him that you don’t know if he’ll actually look at because you’re so high off the ground. He surprises you though by getting up from his seat just before the both of you reach the top.

He stands you up with him and he makes you take a selfie of the both of you at the top with the incredible view of the city lights below you. And you tease him by calling him your brave boy for somehow managing to not look petrified in the picture.

Your boyfriend shuts you up with a kiss though, which you happily let him do and after you put your phone back in your pocket, you give him your full attention. The sweet kiss only breaks when Matty speaks up.

“Do you remember me telling you that the first place I knew I was in love with you was when we were on that ferris wheel?” Your curly haired brunette asks softly.

You nod, remembering that night in lockdown vividly. That knowledge made you love your ferris wheel tattoo that the both of you have on your ankles even more than you already did.

“I expected that over a decade later I would still love you, but I didn’t know I would love you so much more at the top of this one, Wheels.” Matty professes his love for you again and it makes your heart swell with all the love you have for him.

But then the man you love drops to one knee in front of you, surprising you entirely.

Your curly haired brunette is grinning up at you when he asks, “Wheels, Sweetheart, please marry me?” and he pulls an engagement ring in a box out of his pocket and offers it to you.

“Yes,” You find yourself half giggling in surprise as you answer him. You nod, “Of course I’ll marry you.”

And Matty jumps back up so his lips can find yours again before you can fully process the moment. But you pour your heart out into it regardless.

You hope to every God that Matty can tell just how much you love him by pouring your feelings into this kiss. Words never seem like enough but kissing him in this moment feels like you’re connected on an entirely different level.

The way your chest aches for him, the way your heart beats for him, every ounce of love you have for him you hope he can feel. Because you can feel just how much he loves you, and his excitement because he picks you up and spins the both of you around which has you giggling again.

Matty puts you down after a few seconds, and the first thing he does is get the ring out of the box and put it on your left ring finger. It’s a stunning ring, and it's what you always imagined him giving to you one day. He got it spot on and from the look on his face, he knows he has.

You look back up at your fiance and you let out something of a giggle as your eyes tear up a little. Matty’s are the same, the both of you so unbelievably happy in this moment that you don’t have the words to explain it.

“I want to marry you as soon as possible, okay?” Matty chuckles, his voice a little choked up as he reminds you, “I’ve been waiting long enough, I can’t wait any longer.”

You giggle and nod, agreeing with him entirely. And your fingers root up into his curls as you look into his eyes and make sure he knows, “I love you so much, Curly.”

“I love you so so so much more, Wheels.” Matty grins before he cups your cheeks and leans back down to kiss you sweetly.

He always has and he always will, because from the very first moment he ever saw you, he’s been in love with you. Everything feels better when the two of you are together.

You’re his Sweetheart, his Wheels, and he will be your Curly until the very end.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Matty’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Matty and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot Good Boy is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more.

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: Alex and Ella’s story in a different universe can be read now! Constant Repeat by @alovesreading​ is out now and it’s incredible. A doesn’t know I’ve written Ella into this ending so I’m waiting for her to have a breakdown (she will, I know her too well at this point lol) but I really hope you enjoy Ella and Alex’s story as much as you’ve enjoyed reading this! (I love a multiverse and there’s also a different Alex fic of mine hidden in this chapter that will be my next long fic, Nightmare. But I’m having a break for a while but I will be back at some point, I promise x)

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​​

[canirove]

I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 11

Author’s note: We’ve made to the last four chapters of this story! 👀 Hope you like what is left, and thank you very much for reading and for all your support! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“I can’t believe I let you convinced me to do this.”

“You are doing it for Lola. Think about that” Monica says.

“Doing something for Lola is what got me into this mess in the first place.”

“You’ll be fine. Trust me” she says, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

For their last game of the season, Lola’s team somehow managed to get Mason to come and give them the league winner trophy and medals. I didn’t want to go, but when Lola herself asked me to…

“Auntie… Is it true that you don’t want to come? It is my last game, they are giving us the trophy!”

“I know, little one. But I just…”

“You love him and he hurt you.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard you and mum talk about Mason. I know you ended up liking him like I said you would, and then you fell in love with him. And he loves you too, but he has a girlfriend.”

“I…”

“But you know, maybe if you see each other in person, you can fix things. Isn’t that what you adults always tell us to do when we get angry with our friends? That we should talk about it?”

“We actually do say that, yes” I chuckle.

“Then give it a go. Do it for me. Please” she pouts.

“If you look at me like that…”

“Will you talk with Mason if you see him?”

“I’ll try. But only because I love you more than anything.”

“More than you love him?”

“I could never love anyone more than I love you, Lola.”

“Not even your future babies with Mason?” she asks with a smile.

“Ok, that’s enough.”

“I would like to have him as my uncle.”

“Lola…”

“Ok, ok” she laughs. “Love you, auntie.”

“Love you too.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hi.”

“Fuck” I say, my drink slipping from my hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“A bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“I’ll get you another one.”

“I don’t want another one.”

“But you had barely had a sip…”

“I said no, Mason. Besides being an idiot, are you deaf now too?”

“There she is” he chuckles. “I’ve missed your mean comments.”

“I, on the other hand, haven’t missed anything about you” I say, starting to walk away.

“Daniela, please” he says, grabbing me by the arm.

“Let me go.”

“Sorry. Can we please talk?”

“No.”

“Dani…”

“Do not call me Dani!” I say, raising my voice.

“Sorry. I just…” he says, running a hand through his hair and making my stomach do funny things. “I miss you.”

“You… what?”

“I miss you.”

“Mason, you have a girlfriend. She is the one you should be missing when you aren’t together, not me.”

“But I miss you. And I’m breaking up with her.”

“Yeah, sure” I chuckle.

“I am.”

“You said the same back in December, and what did you do? Go on holidays with her and post about it everywhere.”

“I couldn’t do it” he says, looking at the floor.

“And after Valentine’s Day? You said on your note that you were also going to break up with her, but then you also got her a bunch of gifts and took her out for a romantic dinner. Is that how people break up these days?”

“It was complicated, ok?”

“Complicated” I snort. “You were playing with me the way I played with you. I hurt you, and you wanted to hurt me too. Just admit it, Mason.”

“What? No! I didn’t want to hurt you, Dani.”

“It’s Daniela!”

“Can we… Can we please go somewhere else to talk? The girls may hear us. Or what is worse, their parents.”

“Afraid they may find out that their kids’ idol isn’t the nice and cute guy they thought? That he actually is a jerk?”

“Ok, fine, yes. I am jerk. Happy?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what the hell do you want from me, Daniela? What? Tell me! Tell me so we can finally put an end to whatever this is. Because it hurts. It fucking hurts.”

“And you think it doesn’t hurt me? I’ve spent the past three months crying every time I hear your name, Mason. When Lola wants to watch your games, I have to leave the room. Do you think this has been easy for me?”

“I… I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t! Because you were too busy playing couple goals with your girlfriend!”

“I’m breaking up with her. I promise you. I’m going to do things right this time.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it” I snort.

“Daniela” he says, taking my hand on his. “I promise you. I’m breaking up with her. I want to be with you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” I say, letting go of his hand and walking away, not being able to contain my tears anymore.