#if being middle grade books puts you off it shouldn't

[vehicularmotorcycle]

Reading The Whispering Skull and I don't think I'll ever be over L&C getting canceled. It hits so much harder now reading the books. If nothing else, at least the one season it got led me to read these, I never would have found them otherwise

[klaustheclock]

Ok I'm sorry to like the 1 person reading this at the moment but-

Why do people think being the favorite and golden child is a good thing?

Because I'm sorry but its the worst thing ever.

Ok I'm sorry I not trying to sound rude or inconsiderate or selfish but it's really bad and I just need to rant my heart out.

Also my situation is a little different because I got really old parents(I'm talking in their 50s).

Ok so let's start with being the "favorite child". Also I'm sorry to all the people who had to deal with worst favoritism and being the unloved child. Ok so I know being the favorite sounds amazing on surface value but it's not. I'm the youngest and you probably expect me to be a spoiled brat who gets everything and narcissistic because I'm the "favorite". But that's far from the truth. I don't get everything I want, I have extremely low self esteem and I'm not a spoiled brat. I honestly used to this that all the stereo types about favored and gifted children were true but now I realize that for me and some others it's not. I used to beat myself up for these things and tbh I still do even though I've come to terms with the fact that there not true.

This is probably due to my siblings. I have two older sisters, both of which are in high school. Because my parents favor me more I have a strained relationship with them(if you can even call it that). There both incredibly bitchy to me and shit. There rude and they criticize my every more. They beat me down whenever they get a chance, even if I'm already at rock bottom. This is probably because they think they have to make me suffer because of our parents. Which isn't fair at all. I can’t even talk to them about my feelings because they'll use it against me or they just call me sensitive and won't give two fucks. They talk to eachother about there feelings and experiences all the time and just disclude me. They also talk about me behind my back and even to our parents. At first when I was younger I thought it was just them joking around with me but I realized when I got older that it wasn't. However my parents "favor" isn't even really big. Our parents still buy then what they want despite saying they wouldn’t. So they beg and get a lot of things but the moment I ask for a book or something there mad at me and calling me a spoiled brat. Which leads me to my next point.

Being the golden/gifted child

If I had a dollar for everytime I had a mental breakdown because of my grades I'd be a million air.

So I have something called academic validation. Meaning that my self worth is solely dependent on my grades. I was always a nerd but this is just to much. My oldest sister used to be in the same role but the pressure was lighter. So when she got into high school she said fuck school and started skipping classes and shit. This was bad but it didn't help that my brother who is 21 now did the same thing but worse. It started with my brother so our parents started to put pressure on my oldest sister and me, the youngest. They said the the middle child grades were fine even though they were lower the both of ours. We were always straight A students but then my sister decided she didn't care anymore that left all the pressure on me. I was only in 5th grade at the time so it was a lot on me. When I talked to my sister about it all she said was "don't care, deal with it". And so I did.

All my middle school years was just academics. I went to a Ib league school so the work was harder than your average American school. I sill managed to keep all A's but I wasn't happy at all. I never got anything for my academics anyway. My parents just brushed it off and said, "Your smart you should get these grades anyway. We shouldn't have to be expected to give you something." All I asked for was a good job or something like that. That night I broke down completely. Then I finally realized that no matter what I do ill never be good enough for anybody. I had no good traits about me. I hear no talent, I wasn't pretty, and I wasn't really a fun person to be around. I over thought everything I did so whenever we played games I couldn't deal with the pressure. Once one of my friends told me "your the only person who I know can make the game hangman unfun." It was supposed to be a joke and we laughed it off but that made me want to cry. That day i realized from another friend that we kinda grew up to fast. Looking at it now I didn’t really have a child hood. I was always fored to play catch up with my older siblings. I always had to be on par with them to even be looked at as a human being.

I was always the one people looked for help to with was good(I love helping people) but it kinda became overwhelming. I kinda just hide it with jokes about myself. I'm the therapist friend but yet I can't tell people my feelings. I can’t talk to my parents, my sisters, my friends, and I don't have a lover. They'll either just brush it off or not care at all. It hurts a lot. This leads me to often be confined and left alone with my emotions.

Which leads to me today. The me currently writing this long ass Ted talk. I have terrible anxiety and zero self worth and I feel the need to be validated with my grades and by the people around me. But even with all this I still feel empty. Like it's just hard. I turn to books and history to try and distract me but that can only take you so far. Also I find myself comparing myself to my friends because my parents always compared me to my siblings. I feel the emine pressure to fit into the mold my teachers, friends, and parents think I am and want. I work as hard as I can but it feels like I always come short.

I apologize sincerely if this comes off as selfish or narcissistic.

I wanna try and over come this and gain confidence in myself but it seems impossible. I'm still only in the 8th grade so maybe it'll finally dawn on me. It's just wherever I try to reach out for help I feel so selfish and entitled. It's like a voice in the back of your mind telling you "People deal with so much worse than this and you have the audacity to cry at these things? You shouldn't feel this way just suck it up. Your just weak, nothings wrong with you."

Thank you for listening to my rant, I apologize for wasting your time.

[acertainmoshke]

Now that I have a LITTLE more time, care to tell me a little about "Fae and Brownie Draft 4 (JMR edit)" from the WIP Files game? <3

It's been a while so here a link to your post LINK

Oh, thanks! It has been a while and this is my most recent ask/mention but it's the easiest to answer right now (I will get to reblogging/doing all those heads up 7 up games I promise).

So, Fae and Brownie is actually done. It needs a better title but it is all written and I used my tax refund to have it professionally edited (JMR are the initials of the lady I hired). I actually originally planned to make it a series like Ivy and Bean, so every subsequent book would be "Fae and Brownie do X," but now I think it will be a standalone. Unlike basically everything else I write, it is not SFF but a realistic middle grade kids' book.

To go into a little more detail than I did in my intro post, Fae is 10 years old and autistic and ataxic (a physical balance/coordination disability that I have a variation of) and the ONLY kid at school to be nice to her is the new kid, Brownie (who may or may not have ADHD, you decide). Then Fae promptly gets in trouble for a semi-violent meltdown when she's pushed too far and is suspended for a week. She has one fabulous day free of school, and then her parents drop it on her that the aunt she hasn't seen in years is getting divorced and moving in with them. Aunt Lillian doesn't get along with her sibling-in-law, Fae's parent she calls Kiki, for political reasons Fae doesn't really understand.

To put off the inevitable struggle with change, Fae is allowed to go to a sleepover at Brownie's house the first night Aunt Lillian shows up, which leads to a week of adventure, friendship, accommodations, and realizing that even adults might need to learn some things.

This is one of my favorite excerpts:

Now Ms. Luna is on the floor in front of me, bent down like adults do to when they talk to little kids. Not 10-year-old kids, except they still do it to me. Mama says that if I stand up tall and smile and talk to people using the big words I do at home, they won’t think I’m like a little kid. I think she doesn’t understand school.

“Fae, we’re going to work on spelling worksheets. Can you come back to your desk, please?”

Ms. Luna doesn’t look angry. She doesn’t look sad. She doesn’t look anything. But I’m still scared to say no, because that can get me in trouble sometimes.

“Fae, come on. I know you like spelling, and I need you to participate, ok?”

I wonder if teachers ever get annoyed when they’re stuck with the really weird kids.

She won’t go away until I use words, so I say, slowly and carefully, “I want to stay here.”

“I know, but you’ve been here for over fifteen minutes and you can’t miss a whole lesson or you won’t know the words for Friday’s quiz.”

I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I peek over her shoulder and all the other kids are looking at me. Their eyes feel like lasers. I want to go home. And suddenly I’m angry, because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I’m supposed to do as well as everyone else even though the world hurts me and not them. It’s not fair that people still talk to me like I’m in kindergarten. And it’s not fair that they always look at me like I’m a puzzle or a slug and not a person.

I hate being angry. My anger is red and liquid and fills me up until it overflows. I scream without meaning to. I want to scream “I hate you,” but the words are stuck in my throat, and that makes me even more angry. I know better than to throw things, but all I want is to do what I’m not supposed to. I want Ms. Luna to hurt like I do.

I was going to make a separate post for this later this week, but since this gives me the perfect chance to do it: I am looking for beta readers. It needs new title suggestions and some feedback on plot and flow, but shouldn't have any glaring holes or grammar issues. I'd be happy to do a beta swap if someone prefers. My only requests are that you have some interest in reading children's literature and see this as a disability empowerment story and not one about her learning to "be good" (a disclaimer I always include now after a really weird comment I got the first time I tried to move towards publishing this story).

[zannolin]

I'm fully aware I could just look it up, but I kinda wanna hear your pitch: what's Beyonders about? Adding another book series to the to-read pile

okay im legally obligated to drop the simplified video version i made (should link to the correct timestamp) bc my ass spent way too long on it as a whole buuut.

so there's this kid named jason and he's the most Just Some Guy ever. likes baseball and animals. probaby is going to be a dentist someday bc his dad wants it. he gets hit in the head with a baseball and then swallowed by a hippo in that order but not immediately consecutively mind you and the hippo turns out to be a portal into another world (lyrian) where he promptly witnesses a band's group suicide and accidentally gets involved in a quest to bring down the evil wizard emperor, maldor. in lyrian he's called a beyonder bc he's from the beyond (which does not Just include earth but that's not important unless you want to read the other mull books, namely five kingdoms. i digress) and he meets another beyonder, rachel (homeschooler rep for the win) and they set off on this quest to get the magical way to defeat maldor together. there's a giant crab, but no more hippos. this book anyway. basically it's your typical kid falls into another world and ends up fighting the evil ruler to save said world story, except the worldbuilding is super fun and funky and all the magical races are SO cool (there's seed people who can live theoretically infinite lifetimes if you replant their seed that falls out when they die; there's dudes who can just take off their heads and put them back on and such; there's these guys that are just covered in plants? also?) and there's throat mold which will haunt me forever. you got such excellent places as: deadly swamp, deadly jungle, haunted sunken city within the deadly swamp, random library in the middle of the forest, a restaurant that spins in circles for little to no reason, and more!

in the second book it really starts to get into the magic of lyrian and you learn about the history and the interspecies dynamics and stuff. they start a proper rebellion and go on a quest for a prophecy and they blow a lot of things up which i fully support. the whole thing is this wonderful celebration of friendship and how kindness can save the world, and what heroism and sacrifice really mean, and if it's possible to change what others and maybe you see as your nature, and whether it's all worth it or not. in the end so many things happen simply because jason (and rachel) chose to be someone's friend and believe in them and oh my god it makes me want to sit down and cry sometimes. it's about the power found when you come together to make a difference and also the power just one person can have by choosing good. and it's also really heartening to read a story about characters who have absolutely no obligation to this world, to these people, who are still saying no i'm going to fight for you because it's worth it. because it's the right thing. i know a lot of stories have that but sometimes i just need it again y'know. fighting not because you must, but because you choose to.

also there's like excellent levels of snark and banter and jason does some of the most absurd things (like, besides being swallowed by a hippo) and it shouldn't work but it DOES. and lyrian is such a grim world for a middle grade series. maldor's seriously devious in very subtle, fun ways, like how he toys with his enemies and tempts them to his side to the point where people will fight him not to fight him, but only far enough to get an invitation to his pleasure palace where all the heroes go and give up fighting for luxury. i just really really love the worldbuilding which has gotta be Some kind of endorsement bc i'm literally a fantasy hater most of the time (shut up about lotr and narnia those don't count they're classic i hate Most fantasy okay) and i usually think it has too much worldbuilding. idk it's just great! it's great!!!! and it's not perfect and has weird bits and things that make me go eeehhh but at the end of the day. i love it. even when it murders like most of my favorite characters and made me cry a lot. like a lot.

ahem. that's beyonders. give or take several hundred pages.

[justinmitchellfan]

MERCEDES VARNADO X ZENDAYA LOVE STORY SMUT WARNING ⚠️ PART 7 of the continuation of the woman at the bar love story

Chapter 27

Play it cool "what'd she says says zendaya "she Said you two fucked says normani as she smirked and Lauren broke in "in my backyard says Lauren and zendaya face palmed herself "that fucking Cuban says zendaya and Lauren smacked my arm roughly "hey Don't knock my people asshole says Lauren "is that all she said as I glanced over to see ms mercedes staring at me, I shook it off and brought my attention back to my friends and the girls shared another glance and I grew tired of this stupid telepathic conversation they had going "Simon says speak says zendaya and normani bit her bottom lip nervously before spitting the words out "we think she's falling for you says normani "fuck me right says zendaya as she groaned

"Camilla already has says Lauren as she joked which made me nudge her over harshly "but why did you do it on my hammock of all places you could've done it, the grass, that shed in the far back, your car sats Lauren "it was the heat of the moment laur, I couldn't just stop and be like 'you wanna go to the motel 6 down the street really quick' says zendaya "but my hammock says Lauren as she whined and I ignored her moaning and groaning to turn to normani "so why do you think she's in love with me says zendaya "she talks about you all the time now, that's how we got it out of her in all honestly I thought you were still with your mystery chick says normani as she explained

I turned my head to see that mercedes hadn't moved at all, she was still listening to every word we said "yeah well I wish but I guess what we had was too much for her says zendaya and ally softly rubbed my hand and had that motherly charm break out "it's okay sweetie, it's her loss says ally "and camillas gain says Lauren as she giggled which made me nudge her once again

-----

At lunch, I put my government book down with a notebook to finally open both of them and catch up on almost 4 weeks of late work and I started scribbling fiercely on the notebook paper to finish the assignments I had pushed off day by day. Normani, ally and Lauren sat down across from me at the rectangular table but I didn't pay too much attention to them, my mind is focused on not being sent to resource classes actually my mind is focused on mercedes and how much I want to be with her again but to each his own "earth to zendaya says Lauren snapping her fingers in front of my face and I looked up at her with a confused expression "what's with all the aggressive working, shouldn't you be eating lunch right now says Lauren

I shook my head "can't Mr Robin says if I don't get this first month of work turned in by the end of this whole day ,I could already fail the class says zendaya "how many papers do you have to do says ally as she asked before taking a bite of her carrot and I thumbed through a few papers to count "like 7 says zendaya "and how many do you have left says ally as she asked again "7 says zendaya as she smirked and normani threw a piece of lettuce at me playfully "you are a little slacker, here give me two and I'll do those for you says normani "yeah, give me a paper says Lauren as she held out her hand to retrieve an assignment "thanks guys as I always appreciated my friends, they knew about how frustrated I get in school

That's actually how I brought all of them together otherwise they probably would've been stuck in some shitty cliques and in the middle school, I had a class with all four of them ,camilla noticed how stressed I got in science when we had to learn about cells and organisms, ally felt bad when I almost started crying in home ec because I didn't understand any of the bullshit group work, normani stopped me from flipping a lid during music when I couldn't play the piano correctly and Lauren well, I've known her since third grade, we grew up together, she's been my friend since I could remember

**flashback**

I was sitting beside her in a small desk as the teacher began talking about multiplication, addition and subtraction was hard enough for me without adding more bullshit to the equations, ms Mallory our third grade teacher would call kids up to the board to answer a problem, I was clutching my desk, absolutely dreading that moment that I'd get picked and my peers would walk up to the whiteboard and they all got their problems correct but it all looked like gibberish to me, in all honesty I didn't believe math was real at this point "zendaya come do number 8 please as Ms Mallory requested and I looked over at Lauren who nodded 'good luck' before I got up from my seat, it's easy now, but that equation would haunt me for the rest of my life. 7 X 8

I tried to think about the little table she had given to us prior to being called on but I didn't even understand that piece of paper, my dumb ass just guessed and put 87 because I thought you just had to put the numbers together but then the whole dyslexia thing started working also "stupid says a boy named Erin yelled out at me which made the rest of the kids in class laugh and Lauren turned around in her desk and glared down at the boy and the recess bell rung and all of the kids ran outside but I ran into the bathroom to the first stall so I could cry my eyes out, I knew I was stupid, I couldn't help it "zendaya says Lauren as she called from outside of the stall and I sniffled and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe my eyes "what says zendaya

"Come out here says Lauren as she responded and I was about to unlock the door but stopped to ask her a question "do you think I'm dumb too laur says zendaya "no I don't, Erin and the rest of the kids are dumb, if they knew about how good you are at tying shoes or playing hopscotch or even how fun you are when we go to the park with my mom and dad, they wouldn't say that, you're cooler than them and that's why they say mean things ,my mom calls it jealousy says Lauren and I opened the stall and pulled Lauren into the biggest hug I ever could in my life "thanks lo says zendaya and she smiled "no problem mija, oh yeah, I beat up Erin for you ,well let's just say he fell off the monkey bars and got a black eye says Lauren

"You're gonna get into trouble says zendaya as she gasped and Lauren shrugged "he shouldn't have made fun of my best friend says Lauren

**end of flashback**

"Is this study hall says camilla as she asked breaking me out of my flashback to sit down beside me and I shook my head "nope, this is 'save zendayas ass before she isn't able to graduate anymore says zendaya "I'll join the cause says camilla as she grabbed a page out of my hand and softly grazed over my arm with a smirk "thanks as I smiled at her before going back to write down on the paper in front of me. Why not get a little free help

-----

I was digging through my locker at the end of the day when two hands went over my eyes "guess who says the raspy voice and I pulled her hands off of my eyes and turned around to see a smiling camilla "you obviously don't know the meaning of guess who says camilla and zendaya nodded "yeah it's kinda confusing for me says zendaya and I decided to grab her by the waist and pull her close, if mercedes doesn't want me why can't I have a little fun "what are you doing after your badass gets out of detention says camilla as she smirked while batting those long eyelashes at me and I turned my head and smiled "I'm not sure, why ate you asking says zendaya "maybe I could come over and we could watch a movie or as her lips softly met mine before she continued "whatever says camilla

"Break it up or I'm gonna be sick says normani as she popped up behind us and I closed the locker and camilla reluctantly pulled away and Lauren leaned on the lockers beside me and crossed her arms "so since it's Friday, how about we all have a so called squad Gathering tonight at your house says Lauren and camilla looked at Mr with pleading eyes, I tried to call it off for her sake "I don't know says zendaya "don't worry says normani as she smiled "well give you and Mila uour bedroom says normani "oh my God says camilla face palming herself and zendaya chuckled softly "well I got detention so you all know how to get into my house, see you in an hour or so says zendaya

Chapter 28

Mercedes point of view

Zendaya closed the door behind her and kept her eyes averted from me but I couldn't help but watch every move she took to her desk "welcome to detention says mercedes in a sassy tone and zendaya didn't reply, she just brought out a notebook and textbook to open them up to begin to write "you're not supposed to be doing work in detention says mercedes as she spoke up and zendaya glared up at me "then I'll fail and drop out, which one sounds better says zendaya and I got up from my seat and slowly walked over to her desk and I pulled up a chair and sat down beside her "what class is this for says ms mercedes "government says zendaya as her head moved left and write as she wrote down words on the notebook paper from the textbook

My eyes glanced over to see words all jumbled up with mix matched letters and sprawled out chicken scratch "can I see one of these as I asked reaching for the papers "no says zendaya as she protested but I stole a few and noticed that five of these papers were not in her handwriting "whose are these as I asked her trying to decode the familiar writings and zendaya reached over to grab the pages but I pulled them back "they're mine, give them back says zendaya and u shook my head "thos is not yours ,who did you get these from says mercedes "I didn't steal them, these are my papers, just give them back says zendaya

"It may be your notebook paper but it's not your work on the paper as I explained to her but she caught me with my guard down and took the papers out of my hands to stuff them in the back of the notebook "mind your own business mercedes says zendaya as she growled going back to the aggressive work "hey as I turned her shoulder so she'd have to look at me "I may just be your teacher now but I still can care and this is cheating says mercedes "no its not, my friends know I'm barely able to do this by myself says zendaya and I just shook my head and got up to hold my hands out "fine then if you don't want my help then give me your phone says mercedes "fuck that says zendaya as she muttered

"School policy says I have to take it up, I wasn't going to but you gave me a shitty attitude and now it's my only choice as I responded feeling the Authority pile up in my voice and she dug in the band of her pants to grab the phone out and put it in my hand "now shoo says zendaya as she ordered mercedes and I just shook my head and went back to my desk and when I sat back down at my desk I couldn't help but mentally slap myself and I shouldn't have broke it off with zendaya, she obviously knows how to hold a grudge and I haven't seen her be mad at me for this long

I just wished she wouldn't have fucked anyone else, hell I can't talk, I should've told nela to fuck off as soon as I began having feelings for zendaya and zendayas phone buzzed on my desk but zendaya didn't look up from her textbook and my curiosity peaked and my eyes wondered over to the screen

Camilla: I hope you don't mind me laying on your bed but I wish you were here though ;)

My blood began boiling and I didn't know how to say it and my eyes glazed down at the desk trying to think of the right words to say. I love zendaya, I do, more than anything but what if I'm holding her back from something bigger, a normal teenage life but I want her, I want her to know that I love her more than anything and I don't want to see her fucking around with other girls or guys and my jealousy started to overwhelm me, I was lost in my own thoughts for what seemed like forever "zendaya I need to tell you something says mercedes as she spoke up and her eyes gazed overhead of me to look at the clock "no time, detention is over and If I don't turn in the rest of these papers, I'm screwed says zendaya. It's already been an hour and a half, Jesus where did I go

Zendaya collected her things and walked up to the desk to grab her phone from in front of me and a slight smirk appeared on her face and she winked at me "see you Monday mercedes says zendaya

Zendayas point of view

After turning all that shit work in to Mr Robin, I sped home to where all four of the girls were and I unlocked the door to hear Beyonce playing super fucking loud in the confined house and when I walked into the living room, I noticed normani twerking to the queen while Lauren recorded it with a slight giggle and ally was averting her eyes and I was going to join them in the twerk team moment but someone wrapped their arms around my waist from behind me to pull me into the hallway and slam my back on the wall "it took you long enough says camilla as she breathily said before smashing her lips onto mine and I took advantage of this moment. Even though, camilla isn't the one I want to kiss, mercedes has already made it very clear that she just wants to be my teacher,so why does it hurt so bad

I understand that it's a breakup but every time I see her, I just kind of crumble and the only thing I can get my mind off of her is fuck camilla, I know wierd right but being the cause of someone else's frustration is making all of this better, since I can't fustrate mercedes, I'll work on someone else and I picked up camilla by her thighs and she wrapped her legs around my waist while I carried her down the hall into my room on the right and I passed the doorframe and used my foot to slam the door shut and u threw camilla on the bed and began roughly kissing her lips then moved down to her neck, my lips grazed her neck while my hands ventured down to yank the bottom hem of her shirt off over her head "someone is a little aggressive today says camilla as she giggled

I kissed her lips and smirked "you know it says zendaya and the plump lips were missing, the breathless moaning was gone, the dominance was all left up to me and I took my chances and put my hand in her pants without warning to rub her bare core "are you not wearing panties says zendaya as she asked camilla and with her mouth agape she replied "thought it'd be easier for you says Camilla "how thoughtful as I smirked before sucking on her neck and alternating with kisses. Don't get this twisted, I love camilla but not in that way right now I'm just trying to fuck out my anger towards mercedes and if camilla enjoys it then who am I to judge

I stuck one finger inside of her while I used my thumb to run her clit in a circle which made camilla moan out loudly and the music in the other room was so loud that there was no way the girls would hear the smaller girls screams and I didn't slow down my pace, I kept it fast yet steady which made her grip my back through my shirt and I was being rougher than I usually would but I could tell she didn't notice and her body bucked into my hand while I added another finger "shit says camilla as she groaned out and she bit down harshly on her bottom lip and latched her eyes shut, cam was so focused on the moment and it was actually a bit of a turn on and I could feel her walls tighten more and more as her moans got more throaty and long

"I'm almost there says camilla as she begged and I kept the harsh pace in her and before I could do anything about it, normani walked in just as camilla came on my fingers "yall are so busted says normani as she laughed and I grabbed a pillow from my bed and chucked it at the dark girl "fuck off says zendaya and normani dodged the pillow and turned to exit out of the room "LAUREN GUESS WHAT I JUST SAW, HIDE YOU HAMMOCK says normani and camilla came down much quicker than she usually would and smacked herself in the face "we didn't lock the door says camilla "no shot as I laughed pulling my hand out of her pants and licking my fingers off like a proper person and camilla tasted really good but it wasn't what I was craving which created a frown on my face

The small Cuban buttoned her pants and got up to find her shirt and pit it back on and she leaned in by the bed and kissed my cheek "see you out there for our roast says camilla "yeah as I half smiled. I miss mercedes

Chapter 29

I took my walk of shame into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and after pulling off the top and taking a sip, I jumped up on the counter of the kitchen and found myself thinking about the moments mercedes and I spent in here, how I made her breakfast and she couldn't keep her hands off of me and it was breaking me, actually it officially broke me and a tear fell out of my eye and I just let it happen, I hadn't officially cried about the breakup yet, it kinda made me feel numb, now that I'm actually hurting, I just want the numbness back "you got any chips says Lauren as she asked walking into the kitchen and I quickly wiped the tear from my cheek "no my parents sent me some more money to get food so we can go to the store says zendaya

I tried to hop down but Lauren stood in front of me to place her hands on my hips and look up at me "what's wrong says Lauren "nothing as I sighed out, I didn't feel like having to explain the whole ordeal, it's easier to just play dumb than get all emotional "keep lying to me and I'll shove you off this counter says Lauren as her glare was harsh "now tell me says Lauren "I miss her okay as I huffed, I hated having to be honest to Lauren because she's so brutally honest, trust me I'm glad she's like that but sometimes it makes me feel so much worse "your girl why, no offense but you never talked to me about her and when you did, you found out she was scum that was talking to another guy while she was with you, I kinda don't know why you should miss her says Lauren as she was still mad that I kept mercedes away from her

"There's a reason why I can't talk about her as I frowned "well you're done so can I know says Lauren as she wasn't going to stop and I looked back to see all of the other girls were busy talking and laughing, I pushed Lauren off of me to pull her into the den away from everyone else and I sat her down on the couch and paced a few steps in front of her to think about what I'll even say, I have to tell her at least, I can trust her "when I tell you this you probably won't believe me says zendaya as she told Lauren "I don't think it really matters at this point says Lauren and zendaya exhaled deeply before kneeling down in front of her "the real girl I was with was named mercedes says zendaya and she lifted her eyebrows in confusion "and says Lauren

"Think of someone with the first name that's 'mercedes', how many fucking mercedes do you know says zendaya in an annoyed tone and she thought about it for a second because she knew she could figure it out then all of a sudden her eyes got really really big "you fucked our English teacher says Lauren and I tackled her and put my hands over her mouth "what the fuck, don't yell that says zendaya and Lauren pushed me off so that I'd sit beside her on the couch "when-how did what, this makes so much sense, no wonder you were spending so much fucking time in her class says Lauren and zendaya nodded "yeah but you can't tell anyone says zendaya "what's your grade in there says Lauren as she smirked "barely a c I think says zendaya

"Really says Lauren as her eyes widened "I would've thought fucking the teacher would grant rights to at least a b or a minus says Lauren and I smacked her arm "stop making jokes, you have to promise you won't say anything says zendaya and she sighed out in defeat "fine but when I see her on Monday she's getting a jauregui bitch face says Lauren and I sent her a happy smile "thanks lo says zendaya "no problem mija, so I have questions, you've kept me away for so long and now I want to know everything says Lauren "oh God says zendaya as she groaned "what was she like, I mean she like a fucking tower but is she like flexible says Lauren as she was absolutely intrigued

"Fuck, let's not talk about this now, let's go get some food with my parents money okay, we can't talk about this with anyone else says zendaya as she sighed out

-------

The weekend didn't last long enough, I wish it didn't but I can't make time stop no matter how much I want to and the girls left on Saturday which gave me time to just wallow in realization of where I'm at but no longer, I'm gonna show mercedes what she's missing today and I got into a cute white shirt and some skinny blue jeans that would show off those curves she loves so much then I waved my hair and let it lay at my shoulder and I put a light amount of makeup but enough eyeliner and mascara to make my eyes pop then I had on four inch heels, nothing to the amount mercedes would wear but I know she wouldn't expect me in them

I clicked my heels down the marble floor of the school right before the first Bell would ring and I headed for my locker to grab my backpack since I left it at school over the weekend, I mean it only had a pencil and some of normanis perfume in it bit I probably would need that pencil eventually and I closed me locker and turned around to see a wide eyed Lauren "looking to make someone a little jealous today says Lauren and zendaya smirked and nodded "how'd you know says zendaya and the other girls began walking up beside me with their mouths agape "from sweatpants to heels, I like this transition says normani as she smiled "so do I says camilla as she wriggled her eyebrows to walk up closer and eye me up and down

The bell rang out and camilla leaned against the locker with a smirk "so I was wondering something says camilla and I followed her lead and learned against the locker with her and I felt her hand stay latched to mine "and what's that says zendaya as she asked "this is cheesy but the shitty spring fling dance is happening and my parents are forcing me to go, do you think you'd wanna come just as a friend maybe afterwards we could as camilla leaned in and pressed her lips to mine "do something a little extra says camilla "he'll why not, it's not like I'm doing anything better next weekend says camilla "sure as I kissed her cheek which made her blush "now I gotta get to class says zendaya and I hurried to class and entered just as the bell rang, yes not tardy

Ms mercedes turned around from writing on the board and her mouth dropped and my heart sang as her eyes followed me across the class to get to my seat beside Lauren and when I sat beside her, Lauren nudged me over "she checked you out just now says Lauren and zendaya smiled "yeah, felt her eyes burn into me says zendaya "now class, we are going to move onto our last play assignment for this year, it's a little cheesy but the district requires me to teach it says mercedes as she spoke up before reaching down into a box to pull out a book "Romeo and juliet, the tale of two star crossed lovers says mercedes as she smiled and her eyes glazed over the class before falling on me "zendaya please come up here and grab the books to pass them out says ms mercedes

I smirked and got up from my desk to turn my back to her and quickly reach out to grab the box, showing my assests off to her face and when.i stood back up, I could see Lauren smirking at me and I sent her a mischievous wink and I heard a whistle in the back and saw it was my old seat buddy Blake and when I got close to him, I handed his book in one hand and kisses his cheek "you want me to write you two up for pda says mercedes as she spoke up and I smiled and shook my head "no Ma'am, just being a little friendly that's all says zendaya

"now that we've got that out of the way, we can get started with the introduction says mercedes in a peppy voice which made everyone groan "I love that sound, now I'm sure you all know what star crossed lovers mean but I would like to have someone explain it for the rest of the class, any guesses sats mercedes and no one raised their hands "guess I'll call on someone, Ally Brooke what do you think it means says mercedes as she sat on the edge of her desk and crossed her legs in that tight pencil skirt "something about them being bad for each other says ally as she asked confused

"Exactly says mercedes as she laid her hands on her knees "now star crossed means they were automatically doomed to fall, this was because back in the day, people believed in astrology and that the stars had powers to control each humans destiny says mercedes "do you believe that says zendaya as she asked in a loud voice and everyone's eyes including ms mercedes were now on me "sorry what says mercedes as she asked and I sat up in my chair and put my elbows on the desk "do you believe that everyone has a fate and that people can be star crossed, the way I see it, Romeo and juliet just didn't know how to go about their love, if they were honest about all of this mess, a book wouldn't have been wrote about them and we could go in on out lives

Sometimes I think people are just too perfect for each other and that they're blinded by fear ,so what do you think says zendaya and thats probably the most intelligent thing I've said in class all year and it definitely caught ms mercedes by suprise and mercedes cleared her throat to regain her normality while everyone turned to give her the attention "I believe that sometimes there are people who shouldn't be together but they find their ways...like in Romeo and juliet, maybe sometimes they can work out but most the time it could be completely disastrous says mercedes "good to know as I smiled leaning back in my seat to pull the book up to my face to attempt to look over the fucking Latin in front of me

Chapter 30

I walked into mercedes room after school to serve my detention but I didn't see her anywhere and I shrugged it off and took my normal seat close to the front and soon she walked in with a smile on her face but when she saw me that expression flipped completely and when she walked in, she slammed the door behind her to lock it. Fuck what did I do now and mercedes clicked her heels up to me with her arms crossed "you look nice today says mercedes "I'd say the same about you but you are always fancy says zendaya as she smirked. Something was fishy, refrain from a pun please and she knelt down so she could squat In front of my desk while she perched her elbows on the table "are you gonna tell me what that was about in class today says mercedes

"Just speaking from my ass like always says zendaya as she responded confidently and mercedes scanned my face before getting back up to pace around the room "you're gonna get us in trouble doing that, and u know you told Lauren says mercedes "and how do you know that says zendaya. Don't admit anything and she stopped and I looked back at her "oh please, that stank face she was giving me all period was something I've got from plenty of girls friends or even just exes, depending on the girl says mercedes "so you're a player, this makes a lot more sense as i leaned back and crossed my arms "no I'm not a player, if anyone it's you says mercedes "fucking one person when we had a fight isn't necessarily grounds for being a player as I retorted at her idiotic logic

"It is when you're fucking her silly so she's obvious to your true intentions says mercedes as she walked back over behind her desk and stacked a few papers together "and what might those be sats zendaya and she gave me this look that sent shivers up and down my body, even in my feet, I was frozen "making me jealous says mercedes and I regained myself "is it working says zendaya and ms mercedes nodded "well of course but what you said in class today just made me realize all of this says mercedes "how'd you get that out of star crossed lovers says mercedes and mercedes clicked back over to me and pulled up a seat in front of my desk

"Do you believe that you're perfect for me, that we have an undeniable chemistry, that our stars are perfectly aligned throughout the universe says mercedes and zendaya nodded respectively "more than anything says zendaya and mercedes laid her hand on my desk and I grabbed it with mine and she looked deep into my eyes and frowned "I'm quitting next weekend says mercedes "what says zendaya as her voice shot up a couple of octaves and mercedes smirked and looked down "this place isn't for me, my family is too close so they're all up in my business and I found a better job over in Seattle that pays twice as much as this one says mercedes "you're moving as I could feel my heart break a little bit and mercedes eyes got a little sad "yeah it's what's best says mercedes

"But what about us says zendaya and her fingers interlocked with mine and she smirked "that's what I want to talk to you about, you're eighteen in almost a week, don't think I forgot says mercedes "what about it as I was obviously confused which made mercedes giggle "come with me to Seattle, maybe you could go to school up there and finish it off, no one us stopping you I mean your parents are In a whole other state and they left you here to take care of yourself says mercedes as her big brown eyes peered into mine lovingly "I'll take care if you I promise, we can start over and be happy says mercedes

I thought about it for a second, I liked the sound of that but Many conflicting emotions started to pile up "mercedes I'm almost graduated here, my life is here, my friends are here, you're here sats zendaya "this isn't about them, this is about us, I want us to be together more than anything but maybe going to a new school until you graduate will be good for us says mercedes as she pursed her lips and looked down "I can't just hop on a plane with you, this isn't a fucking game, Lauren would fight me if I went on the plane plus I'd have to tell them why I'm going to the sane place you are, dosent that seem a little weird says zendaya. This was real life, I have responsibilities here and I have to take care of them, there's only a few more months left of senior year, how could I just leave

Mercedes pulled my hand so I'd get up and walk around the desk, she yanked me on top of her lap and made me straddle her waist and her hand softly cupped my cheek causing me to keep my eyes locked on hers "I'll give you until next week to think about it, in the meantime says mercedes as she pulled my head in and our lips met, it's been forever since I've felt her lips on mine and her hands trailed down to the bare part of my torso that's been showing all day, I could feel her nails softly scratch my back which pulled my further into the kiss and I ran my hands up to entangle them in her hair and tug lightly and she ran her tounge over my bottom lip to ask for entrance and who am I to deny that, I opened it and her tongue dominanted my mouth as our lips moved together in sync

This is where I belong, this us where I'm happy, in her arms kissing her and mercedes softly scratched down my back once more before her hands shot down to rest in the back pockets of my pants slightly squeezing them which made my back arch and I pulled away with a smirk to see that even her eyes were smiling "wanna visit the storage closet again sats zendaya and mercedes hoisted me up from her lap to wrap my legs around her waist and her lips attacked my neck while she carried me to the room in the back and my arms wrapped around her neck as she hurried us into the back to close the door

She sat my ass down on a desk in the back while her hands hooked into the band of my jeans to yank them off and down my legs after throwing my heels off to the side and her husky voice whispered "you've been fucking your friend so much but when's the last time you came says mercedes "it's been too long as I admitted breathily, I was trying to prepare myself for one would be happening in a matter of seconds and mercedes softly nibbled on my neck before sucking harshly to create red circles that would turn to purple bruises in no time and while she did her hand slipped into.the pace of my boxer briefs and she began to stroke my sensitive dick and all i could do was moan and grip at the fabric of her button up to keep myself steadied for her, my hips began rolling out of my control

Her dominance was what i craved more than anything before I thought I had an issue with being controlled by her but this is what I've become, hers and with each strokes on my sensitive dick with her hand, I could feel myself become more more undone and her eyes glared down my body on occasion to look and see what she was doing to me and a smirk began forming at the side of her mouth "yes ms mercedes as zendaya moaned out and I wasn't able to control the volume on my words and ms mercedes leaned into me ear while stroking my sensitive dick faster and whispered "call me mercedes says mercedes and with that I came in no time and I released myself and she went down to suck me clean and help me ride out the rest of my orgasm while I finished spasming

I leaned on the wood surface of the desk to come to terms with what just happened and slowly let myself come back to reality and I sat back up to look at her wiping her lip line off with her thumb and zendaya smirked "you ready for your turn says zendaya and mercedes shook her head "detention is over, we'll save that for Tomorrow says mercedes and mercedes helped me down off of the desk to hand me my skinny jeans and heels she had stripped off of me and I tried to retrieve them but she still had a hold on clothes, her lips softly caressed mine once more and mercedes softly spoke "even if we aren't together, you're still mine says mercedes

[donnabroadway]

Affirmative Action

Every few years conservatives dog whistle about how they're going to cancel affirmative action and someone, usually a white person, but this time it was an Asian man, who will seemingly was competitive, lacked a few things that set him apart. Also, like the white woman before him, aptly nicknamed Becky with the bad grades, after Black twitter found out she was average, at best, once University of Texas, and the Supreme Court, dropped her stats, he's being dragged on social media. The truth is more people are applying for college and that means college has become more competitive, especially since blacks, who were only being rejected due to race, now had the same opportunity to attend top institutions. The irony is that of all the lawsuits to be brought up against affirmative action, only one was successful and it wasn't because the blacks being let in were not qualified, it was because the man being denied admission was qualified and should have been let in as well. Has anyone stopped to think that maybe a higher percentage of blacks are being accepted because we are actually qualified and if they took away affirmative action and just accepted everyone based on qualifications, and not race or quota, that the same amount of blacks, maybe even more, would still get in because we were being denied due to race and not out lack of qualifications? Black people don't need affirmative action but rich kids need their parents to spend six figures to get them into USC or to buy a library to guarantee admission.

We don't need a special hand out or laws to make us qualify, we've been qualified. Affirmative Action and the civil rights act, Brown Vs. Board, was about getting us the opportunity and protection from angry and jealous white people who purposely impeded our progress with riots, laws, intimidation, suppression, and violence. We have always had the talented tenth, black elite, boule, and upper and middle class but they were tired of getting second hand treatment and their tax dollars going to fund the white institutions, schools, and infrastructure and whatever they had left, went to us or it was trickle down or we had to fund books, school repairs, supplies, and even schools out of pocket. We were tired. We wanted separate but equal to truly be equal. If our tax dollars were going to the bus system, like the white dollars, then we shouldn't have been relegated to a few rinky dink seats in the back or being forced to get off if a white person got on, in spite of the fact we paid our fare just like them and if we were too far from home and wanted to take another bus, we would have to pay again or hope a good Samaritan would pay our fare or let us ride for free. It wasn't fair and the growing black elite was tired. One of the first institutions to be desegregated in Baltimore was Baltimore Polytechnic Institution, an all boys school and because they didn't want to pay to create an equal program at Douglass or Dunbar, they let several black boys apply for admission and do you think the NAACP said "give me a year to find some boys and bring them up to par," no, they had more than enough qualified black students to fill the minimal spots they were given. Same with Little Rock. The students had to apply to get into that mediocre school and trust they were the best of the best. The students were handpicked and forced to go through a selection process by local leaders before their applications were even considered for submission to the school board, so these were the best of the best.

Let's just say we were smart enough to do their work and be in the background while they took credit for what we did but once we wanted to put our face on it and benefit from our accomplishments, we became problematic.

They're trying to send us back to the plantation. They have black faces spewing white talking points trying to convince us that we were better off before integration, that the civil rights movement destroyed our community and that white people aren't the problem. That is true depending on which side you were on. There were many black people, like Booker T Washington, who were able to vote and the black elite, in the north and other places, decided to stay out of "politics." They had a good life, they had good careers, they were educated, and they could go where the white men went. They didn't see the oppression from their high horse. The entire black upper and middle class weren't onboard because they were those who truly believed they pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and they didn't want to disrupt the balance or offend their white brethren.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Good Girl, Bad Boy (Pt. 02 of 15)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: You're the extreme opposite of Billy Hargrove. The good girl, with perfect grades, the child every mother wants to have. And you don't want to have nothing to do with his kind. Ignoring Billy – and his constant, lingering stare – became an habit. But after you're put together for a special school program, you'll have no choice but to get along with him. And soon enough you'll find out that Billy is so much more than just Hawkins' bad boy.

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Growing Closer

You find Billy walking away from his locker, ready to go home. He's alone this time, and you heard something about Stacy being mad at him. You wonder what he did to her. Or if he just got tired and is now aiming for someone else.

“Hargrove.” You call when you're closer enough to be heard. Billy turns around immediately, and you both stop in the middle of the hall. “Do you happen to have some time? We need to discuss the calendar.”

“Sure.” He simply says, and it's clear to you he's pissed off already. He was forced into the program, so it's only normal he doesn't want to do that.

“We can hit the library. It remains open for two hours after class.” You can't help but notice some people staring. But that isn't a surprise. You and Billy are as different as day and night, and nobody expects to see you two talking.

“Sure.” He repeats, and a fun expression crosses his face before he steps aside, gesturing for you to walk.

Chuckling, you furrow your eyebrows, starting to make your way to the library.

You know the place by heart since you're here at least three times a week. Waving at the teacher who stays in the reception, you pick a table in the back, so your chattering won't bother anyone. Taking a seat, you watch as Billy settles down across from you.

It's a little weird at first, and a silence falls in between you two. You suddenly realize you've been staring at him, way too focused on his blue eyes. You didn't know Billy's eyes were so beautiful. But you quickly clear your throat, searching on your bag for your notebook.

“I made you this planner.” Pulling the paper sheet off the notebook, colorful by many different marker colors, you slide it over to him. Billy's eyes fall on it immediately, eyebrows raising. “It's just to help you keep up with everything until the end of the year. More stuff will probably be add, but don't worry, I'll let you know.”

“You have everything figured out, don't you?” He finally speaks up, holding the paper in his hands.

“I know you don't want to do this. But this is senior year and you're almost free. Just a little longer and this will be over.” Offering him a small smile, you put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I won't repeat the year. My grades are enough to get me through.” He sounds a little angry, and you sigh.

You don't know what to say to make him cooperate if he doesn't want to. “Look, you can't get out of the Improvement Program. But you can pick another tutor. So if you want, I have a list of everyone who's still available and maybe if there's someone you already know or happen to be friends with–” As you speak, you start looking in your bag for the small blueish paper. “–you just have to talk to Mrs Martinez and–”

“I want you to be my tutor.” His voice startles you since it's a little too loud and because of the silence, it echoes a bit. “But just because I know you're the smartest person in this school.”

Biting your lip, you nod, not sure how you feel about his compliment. “Thanks... I try.”

“You freaking succeed,” Billy mutters, cupping his hands above the table.

There's heat creeping through your cheeks so you look away, bringing back to mind what else you must talk to him about. “So, the next project is a presentation on History about World War I. Our part is about the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the invasion of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the July crisis. The happenings before the war was set.”

“Great.”

“Shhh.” Someone says, and you look at a small group of people on your left.

“You shut up, asshole.” Billy raises his voice a little, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Hey. Don't say that.” You warn him, giving the boy an apologetic look. “We're at a library, we're supposed to be quiet.”

“Excuse me.” Mr Williams comes, standing a few feet away. “Some students are complaining about your chattering, so I'll have to ask you to leave, please.”

“Oh...” Blushing a little, you start gathering your stuff. “Sorry, Mr Williams. We'll leave.” Billy is just about to say something when you give him a look.

You're quickly outside again, fixing the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “We...” Moving out of the way of some people heading to the library, you set into his pace, walking side by side. “We'll need some time to work on everything. So we can switch between your place and mine because doing things in the library won't work.” You feel a little shy to propose this, but it's not a big deal. You'll be doing this until the end of the year, so it's quite inevitable. “If that's ok with you, of course.”

“We should hit your place then. My father is home today, so... It just won't work.” There's a change in his voice, and you glance at him.

“My mother is home too. But she won't bother us.” Walking a little faster, you gesture at your car. “Just follow me.”

Billy nods, and you smile, giving him a little wave.

The school is empty, and so are the streets around it, so you have no trouble speeding away. Keeping your eyes on the review mirror, it only takes twenty minutes to get to your house, so you park on your usual spot, stepping out of the car and waiting for Billy to do the same. When he finally joins you on the porch, you move to unlock the door.

Billy couldn't help but feel lucky to be at her place. He never thought he'd come here, under any circumstances. Trying not to let her notice, he allows his eyes to wander a little as she opens the door, taking in the place (Y/N) calls home. It has a weird feeling for him, almost as if the place is sacred, somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.

“My mother is nice. But she may say some embarring stuff so... Be prepared.” Following her inside, Billy notices as her mother looks at them, eyes going a little wide to see him. He wonders if she isn't used to her daughter bringing boys home. Knowing (Y/N), he knows she's not. “Mom, this is Billy Hargrove. I told you about him yesterday, remember? From the Improvement Program.”

She told her mother about him. So yes, she was thinking about him. Maybe just for a couple of seconds, maybe just as someone she knows, who she has told to help. But it doesn't matter. (Y/N) was thinking about him, and for now, it's enough.

“Of course.” She stands up, coming to give her daughter a quick hug and shake Billy's hand. “I'm Amanda. (Y/N)'s mother.”

“It's good to meet you, Mrs–”

“Call me Amanda kid, or else I feel terribly old.” She jokes, kindly smiling. “I believe you'll be hanging around here a lot because of school. But don't worry, I won't get in your way.”

“Thanks, mom. We'll be in the dining room.” (Y/N)'s light touch on his forearm is enough to make him shot her a glance, almost too desperate, something in him wanting to ask her why she did such a thing. Billy curses himself as he follows her to the dining room for feeling so stupid. It's just a freaking touch. On his freaking arm. And she wasn't even giving it much thought.

As Billy settles down on the table, (Y/N) moves the centerpiece to the edge so they'll have more space. “Do you want anything? Water? Or some chips? I happen to have some.”

Her voice sends Billy into some kind of stupor. A guy like him shouldn't feel this way. (Y/N) is just a girl, and he had many. But none of them ever made him feel like this. Like his heart is trying to jump off his chest. After a year, he did think he got over it. But he was wrong. Billy didn't want to be this close to (Y/N), always watching her from a safe distance. But this stupid school had to put them together, so damn close. Look at him now, seated on her dining table, staring at her like a complete idiot.

Just because she offered him water and freaking chips.

“Water is nice.” He mumbles, eyes on her back as she walks away, passing behind his chair. A sweet scent irradiates from her. Like flowers, he doesn't know which one though, like freaking sunshine.

Laughing at his stupidity, Billy looks down at his hands. How can someone smell like sunshine? It's illogical.

“Get it together, she's just a girl,” Billy says to himself, resting his back against the chair and taking his jacket off, laying on the chair next to him. Girls are nothing new to him. He had they all figured out, their ways, how to break them, how to please them, how to bend them to his will.

But not (Y/N).

A nice girl like her is immune to his tricks. And that's good because if she wasn't, it would mean she could also fall on someone's traps. Like Tommy, or Jimmy, or Jackson. The very thought of those assholes with her, touching, caressing, kissing... It disgusts him, and he's quick to push such images away.

“Did you say something?” (Y/N) asks, coming back from the kitchen and handing him a glass with cold water. Once she's close enough, he takes a deep breath, and her sweet scent almost drives him mad.

She's not a girl for you, get it together. “No.” He mumbles, taking long sips before putting the glass down. “So what now?” He sounds a little rude, so he immediately clears his throat after, eyes on (Y/N) as she takes a seat next to him on the round table instead of across from him. Billy finds it odd, but he's thankful for the proximity. This way, he can be surrounded by her candy-like scent, trying to memorize it so he could play it back later. When he's into the nightmare he calls home.

You're just about to start, History books already on the table, since you'll begin with the presentation, notebooks and papers so you can take notes, but then you look at Billy. There's a bruise on the apple of his cheek that you haven't noticed it before.

“Did you get into a fight?” You ask, leaning slightly forward to take a better look.

“What?” There's a moment of confusion on his face before it changes. “Yeah.”

“Did you win?”

“In a way.” It doesn't look like he'll say anything else.

“Well, if someone punches you, make sure to beat them up.” Smiling a little, you take the History book, opening it on chapter 7. “What exactly do you know about–”

“Are you still dating Steve?”

The question takes you by surprise, making you nervously giggle. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just curious.” He shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head to the side. “Saw you two talking earlier today and he wouldn't be happy to know we'll be around each other a lot.”

“Steve is my friend. We dated last year but only for two months.” Avoiding Billy's eyes, you go through the book, not really paying attention to anything. You can feel his stare, and for some reason, your cheeks start heating up.

“Who broke up with who?”

Chuckling, you turn your body towards him. “Why do you want to know, Billy?” Maybe he's just trying to procrastinate. “Because if you're just trying to delay things I–”

“No, I really want to know.” He leans forward, pulling the book closer to him. “You and Harrington don't fit together, so I was surprised to see you hanging out with him last year.”

“Steve and I got pretty close when he dropped the jerk act. And we were both single so we decided to give it a try.” The only reason you're telling Billy this is because it's not a secret. Some people know and they probably didn't put any effort into keeping it hidden. “But it didn't click. We were dating but it wasn't really romantic, so...” You smile to remember it, and the memory that comes back is definitely a secret. Nancy is the only one who knows, her and Steve, obviously. But you guess it's ok to tell Billy, it's quite funny. And silly. “We... We never really kissed, you know?”

“What?” His voice startles you, and the genuine confusion on his face only makes you laugh. “You're joking.”

“I'm not, and if this gets out, I'll know it was you.” With a finger pointing at his face, you fake a threatening face. “So keep it between us or else.”

Pinching his eyebrows together, Billy seems amused. “Or else what?” His voice gets lower, as he leans closer.

“Or else I'll have no choice but to make out with Steve in front of the whole school.” In a sassy tone, you smile, biting your tongue not to laugh at his expression. Billy is... Impressed? Surprised, maybe. Something tells you he wasn't expecting this answer.

“Ew. Please don't.”

“Then don't tell anyone.” Shrugging your shoulders, you pull your feet up, crossing your legs on the chair. “Now, C'mon. World War I.”

“One more question and we get to it.” As he speaks, you feel him pulling your hand away from the notebook, forcing you to give him attention. “Why in the hell didn't you and Steve–”

“We kissed. I mean, those quick kisses, you know. Like when you say hi or goodbye. Just a peck in the lips. But that was it.”

“That was it?”

“That was it.” Giggling again, you assure him. Why is it so important to him anyway? “Now, can we start?”

You watch as Billy's eyes remain on you, burning, lingering. After a while, his lips break into a smile and he looks down at the book, shaking his head lightly. “Let's start.”

×

@multific @clockworkballerina @tina1938 @graciehams @moatsnow @all-the-stars-on-your-skin

[theparliamentofrooks]

HELLO FELLOW P2 CORE ENJOYERS

I bring to you: Our Guys :) and their headcanons I have for them. Did you know they're all Honduran I know because I'm Honduran too

ANYWAYS this is a sort of spoof AU where Everything Is Fine Actually and the cores are androids but also humans working at Aperture. Because I know that we need an excuse for Rick to justifiably fight a raccoon in the middle of a park on saturday calling this bad boy the Guy Quartet

General Headcanons

All of them work in completely separate departments. It's dubious if anyone actually likes Wheatley (/J). Rick got put in the fucking basement. BUT they all kept getting sifted into the same assignments that now they just talk to each other frequently. But that was preceded by SO MANY awkward overlapping lunch breaks

Once they all start hanging out they drop into each other's jobs spontaneously. They keep getting BORED and Tomas (Fact) all you do is WATCH PEOPLE TEST can I Please skateboard in your office. Thomas keeps a little tally (Milo (Space) visits the most and Rick gets visited the most GO AWAY THIS IS TOP SECRET)

Aperture constantly wants to fire them So Bad because none of them do much work. But Milo also says they are simply Having Fun :) and Tomas keeps either A) vouching for everyone or B) getting someone else fired

The only ones genuinely happy to be at Aperture are Milo and Rick. Milo has gone to college AND university to pursue a higher degree in astrology-related fields and Rick Just Fuckin Loves Danger

Rick keeps bringing in rabid animals he finds in the parking lot and it scares the living hell out of Wheatley. Coincidentally, Milo and Tomas are unaware of this habit Rick has

The individual headcanons will be under the cut :)

I THINK SPACE SHOULD STOP BEING DEPICTED AS A CHILD FOR ONCE SO HE'S GOING FIRST

Out of the four of them he's the smartest by a longshot. Started taking college classes in Highschool, and hasn't broken a sweat since third grade multiplication tables. He's the head of Aperture's Space Department (but usually doesn't stick around for busywork...)

Even if he's incredibly intelligent, he actually loves having fun! He's the one who coaxed the CEO into having various 'Bring your ____ to Work' days. Mostly because he needed an excuse to let random animals lounge around without getting in trouble.

He also does tours of Aperture for students! Because he likes teaching :)

But also has a very bad habit of giving kids his I.D so they can go look at cooler stuff off the tour under the pretense "Milo let us do it" and they can't just Fire Him

Milo is known as more of an enigma than a higher up by most. While he gladly reminds people of just exactly where he stands in the company by showing his I.D, he also likes to give into the rumors often

YOU KNOW THAT ONE MEME THAT'S LIKE "They'll never believe you" THAT'S MILO FUCKING WITH APERTURE EMPLOYEES

The reason he went for any other company is because his father used to work here, but as an astronaut. One trip up to the moon, he never came back down. Milo plans to find out just what happened to him, no matter what.

Rick Cambeiro - 37 - He/Him

Rick is one of the few people in Aperture that would Kill for this job. Even when it starts going to shit.

And that job is being a security guard: he can fuck around and join lots of experiments unprompted! LET HIM TOUCH THE UNUSUALLY COLORED JELLY

He's loud and constantly bugs any woman within a ten feet radius, but actually reads frequently! His favorite is fiction and poetry, and usually takes his breaks quietly with a book.

He wants to fist fight three tigers at once to impress women BUT APPARENTLY THEY ALSO LIKE INTELLIGENT MEN SO.

Rick considers a bro bond stronger than anything else. Everyone calls it pretty gay but he SWEARS it's brotherly. He's like 90% sure. Wheatley frequently reaches the brink of death in hugs and Milo leaps onto Rick as a "challenge"

He's got a bit of practice with makeup, but SPECIFICALLY so he could draw on some fake scars. He had five different stories for each, all depending on who asked.

But after something happened, it seems like he's cut out that habit...

Rick loves wandering around for various odd jobs for a security guard, but it nets him a lot of moments where he's seeing what he shouldn't. While Rick has the most information that could easily be used for the legal downfall of Aperture, it's a double-edged sword. It's only a matter of time until he's called in to be a proper test subject.

Fact / Tomas Decastros - 26 - He/Him

I'd rather die than use Craig for Fact. Also don't look at the art actually I misspelt his name ANYWAYS

Tomas works as one of the head supervisors for testing, generally watching over tests with the Aperture Handheld Portal Device. Lots of people flip between calling it the most boring job ("Glorified people-watching" - Wheatley) or the most fun one ("I told a guy a turret was supposed to be helpful one time" - Rick, moments before getting mauled)

Compared to the other people in the department, Tomas is easily the best at the job. Specifically because he actually remembers things! There's countless rules overlooked, and even then, did none of you try to read up on what we're testing!?

He's surprised he hasn't grown grey hairs.

While Milo has a lot of leeway in what he does because he's so high up, Tomas gets away with things like breaking dress code and taking triple the lunch breaks he's legally allowed to have by letting all the mishaps in testing slide.

Generally Tomas just tells people he took this job because it was all that was available, but in reality, he just can't stand how many deaths have been totaled up due to testing. He's only here because he wants to prevent as many as he can.

A habit he's well known for is spontaneously stating facts related to tests in the middle of them. Nobody ever seems to realize why he's doing it, or calls him out for being a hypocrite since he doesn't let anyone else talk to the test subjects. Outright stating a solution is against the rules, but merely mentioning a fact isn't, right?

Wheatley [REDACTED] - 34 - He/Him

Yeah that's right Wheatley's last. I know he's my no. 1 but also you WILL read about the other cores. Unless you skipped in which case </3

Anyways, my favorite fact about him: Wheatley is his first name. Nobody knows his last name. It's dubious if he even has one. Everyone just calls him Wheatley.

He's well known around the entirety of Aperture because he used to work at the front desk. It was the """"perfect job for him""" (- Wheatley) but it also started making employees use different entrances because he talked so much. And loudly too.

The pay was pretty good since his ACTUAL job was making sure various health and safety workers didn't get past the front (It seems the constant talking and making people go away DID work out!)

Eventually he gets promoted out of nowhere to be a scientist, even though he has no education awards/diplomas/certificates/literally anything to back himself up. It also happened to be about three hours after he typed in this pretty big number for something... Had to do something with the moon. Maybe a percentage of how much he liked it?

Well, he LOVES the moon. Which is why he put about 95%. Not sure what that did.

He's completely clueless, but all of his scientist coworkers actually hate him. He's got no reason to be here, and he keeps messing experiments up! It drives them up the wall! So their best course of action...

Signing Wheatley up for a week's work on the GLaDOS project.

He seemed a bit antsy, but with reassurance from his coworkers, it seemed fine. He came out of there three days earlier than planned because he had to be hospitalized for severe wounds.

Wheatley still works in the same department, and unfortunately didn't get a paid leave... But at least these scars look cool, eh?

[hexpea]

Ch. 20 - New Page

Your mind was stuck in thought while you waited for your brother to return. You had nowhere to go, not knowing where your brother lived to warp to his place - so instead, you hung around the campus library with your nose deep in books on contracts and divorce.

So much time had passed on you almost thought you were forgotten about. Your eyes grew tired of all the reading you had been doing, all for naught considering you couldn't understand any of the jargon. You allowed your head to rest on your forearms that were folded atop one of the tables toward the back of the library, quickly drifting into a light sleep.

"Y/N," you heard a familiar voice ring through your ears, groggily picking your head up from the table. Your head slightly pounded from falling asleep under the fluorescents.

"Hmm?" You slowly blinked to adjust to consciousness to find a crop of blonde hair in front of you. "N-Nanami?" You sat immediately up.

"Hi," he gave a sweet smile of relief upon seeing your face.

You darted from the chair and wrapped your arms around his waist, his arms returning the embrace, allowing your face to fall into his chest. You laughed happily and muffled into his button-up.

"I'm so sorry I never called after that day," you looked up at him, nearly sobbing as he kept his relaxed facial expression - the sweet smile unwavering. "Naoya's been keeping me under his eye since then...but...but guess what?! He broke the contract, we're getting divorced!" Kento's eyes glinted with interest at your words. You quickly nuzzled your face back into his shirt. "We can finally be together."

"Finally?" His voice shifted into something a bit different, more hostile. "Y/N, you've always been mine."

You looked up, suddenly disturbed by the change in tone, only to find yourself tightly embracing Naoya who wickedly looked down at you - a smile of deviant success on your face. You ripped yourself from his body only to find yourself still sitting at the library table, completely alone. You heard a strange vibration on the wood, still adjusting to your surroundings after such a nightmare.

"Hello?" You picked up your phone without checking the name, the culprit of the vibration.

"Hey," it was your brother who sounded somber, "I'm back now, at the morgue actually. If you want to come by, we can go home together."

"M-morgue? What happened? Who's..." You panicked, mouth going dry to think it possible to be Kento.

"Something happened on the students' mission, Sukuna went rogue. Yuji...he's...he passed away," you could tell your brother was torn to pieces yet again. How much more pain can this man take? All while taking care of your dumbass, too.

You refused to hesitate, leaving all the books on the table, and sprinting to the morgue - too tired to do any warping, especially for such a short distance.

When you arrived, Satoru was sitting on an examination table while Kiyotaka sweated in front of him. Shoko was no where to be found, but a body clearly laid under a sheet on a nearby table.

"...and on top of that, making them go against a high-grade opponent...it's unreal," Satoru finished the sentence he was in the middle of before acknowledging your presence, a simple glance from behind the black blindfold.

"You say that, but..." Kiyotaka trailed off, shaking like a leaf.

"I did the impossible and granted Yuji an indefinite stay of execution. What's really messed up is that you stealthily disposed of him in my absence with the help of a high-grade curse. That's what this is, isn't it?" Satoru clearly had anger in his voice. You felt as if you walked in on something you shouldn't have. You had never heard your brother speaking so seriously. "Even if the other two died, you thought doing something to spite me would kill two birds with one stone, didn't you?"

"No," Kiyotaka's voice trembled, "no one expected it to become high-grade." You could barely hear him over how he covered his mouth. He was always nervous, but being scolded by Satoru put the poor man on another level.

"Finding the perpetrator is also troublesome..." Satoru mumbled. "Should I just go ahead and kill all of the higher ups?" He asked Kiyotaka seriously.

"Satoru...go easy on him," you mumbled upon your arrival only to go unheard.

"It's rare to see you so emotional," Shoko finally appeared, twirling a strand of her long hair. "And Y/N! Good to see you!" She smiled at you, her tone as sleepy as always.

"Yeah, been a while - no thanks to Naoya," you rolled your eyes. She rolled hers back in agreement.

"Well, you don't have to worry about him for long!" Satoru smiled up between you both.

"So, this is Sukuna's host," she peeled back the sheet to reveal Yuji's pale body. You couldn't believe that the sweet kid you met earlier that day was suddenly dead. You realized that Kento's desire to be a loner may not have been as crazy as you thought; one minute you're here and the next...you're not. "I can dissect him as I please, right?"

"Just...make use of him," Satoru sighed, standing up and towering next to you.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" She playfully scoffed. "Of course I will."

As Shoko prepared herself, Satoru went on a whole rant as to why he became a teacher. His desire to change the world of sorcery strong. He also noted that Yuji, similarly to some other students, could rival him - which was a crazy statement in itself. That kid must be really powerful for him to say such a thing - how he threw a playful fit when he found out you shared limitless.

"Hey, I'm going to start," Shoko warned, drawing attention back to herself and interrupting Satoru.

"What the-" you whispered as the corpse on the table began to reanimate. The other two beside you had their jaws on the floor.

Satoru began to loudly laugh as Yuji suddenly declared himself naked much to Shoko's surprise. You flattened your expression in annoyance, realizing this would just take up more of your brother's time.

"Welcome back!" Teacher casually greeted student in a happy, relieving reunion. Shoko quickly retrieved a blanket to cover him, her face as red as a lobster.

The quick thinker that was Satoru Gojo got a small plan in place: keeping Yuji "dead" for the time being, hiding him elsewhere on campus while he's being trained. Yuji would make his grand return during the exchange event.

Just after taking Yuji to his "super secret hideout" that was definitely not just the basement level of the student dormitory, Satoru pulled you aside.

"So...something's kind of come up and I have an idea." His smile showed that he was up to no good. "It's a good, small mission for Yuji, not life threatening, and it may be a good idea to get Nanamin back in the picture." Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

"And that is?" You raised an eyebrow, all ears.

"I've got a few small things to teach him, so we've got some time before we do anything about this...but we've seen some interesting cursed spirit activity a-brewing. I was thinking, while I'm overseas helping with Yuta, Nanamin could take over! And you could help him help Yuji look into this activity!"

"Okay, okay...I hear you," you grinned, thankful for such an innocently conniving brother.

Almost as if on a schedule, a strange incident occurred at a movie theater - one involving high school student Yoshino Junpei. Satoru gave you all of the information you needed, including that Kento had accepted the assignment - but that he didn't know you'd be there.

It felt as if you were waiting for an eternity outside of that damn theater. It was a bit chilly from the rain. You shoved your hands deep in the pockets of your hoodie to keep warm. Satoru also gave you a few blindfolds, it being a relief to have some proper eyewear for your condition. Eventually you saw the crops of pink and blonde through the crowd, heart pounding with each step they took closer.

Kento appeared to be in a deep lecture with Yuji, the poor boy trying to keep up. As he came closer you noticed he now wore strange green spectacles and a tan suit. He looked as if he hadn't relaxed in ages. What form of Kento is this? You asked yourself. When his eyes met yours, that familiar hesitation hit - falling silent immediately. As his face paled with shock, yours grew warmer with a sweet smile.

"Sensei?" Yuji looked at Kento, waving in front of his face to capture his attention. "You okay?"

"I'm not your sensei," he finally turned and looked at the boy. "Y/N, what're you doing here?"

"I'm here to help!" You grinned happily.

"You two know each other?" Yuji looked between you both. It was kind of a stupid question considering the sorcery world was so tight knit, but he was tossed into this life without much context.

"Hmm...since oh-six, right Nanami?" you crossed your arms, still holding that playful smile. You could tell that Kento had some kind of attitude about him - likely because you ghosted him all those months ago. Considering you knew you weren't in the wrong and would eventually be able to explain yourself, you decided to play around with your tone to agitate him more.

"That...sounds about right," he mumbled, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He knew that you specifically stated the year to force his mind to that place - the party, seven minutes in heaven. His palms grew sweaty at the thought alone.

"Oh yeah, we were real buddy buddy back then," you smiled at the boy who seemed eager to learn more about his mysterious, tight-lipped teacher.

"Ooohhh!" Yuji giggled, balling up his fists with excitement. "Like a girlfriend, right? You dated Gojo-sensei's sister?!"

Kento cleared his throat and looked away. You knew how uncomfortable he felt, but in the best way. The longer you could keep it up, the better.

"Eh, maybe something a little bit different," you winked and smiled at Yuji who was absolutely just digging this confidential information.

"Ahaha!" Yuji's voice cracked from the laughter. "I know exactly what you mean!" You chuckled with him as Kento's face went red.

"We should head inside," Kento muttered, quickly stopping your mischief for the time being. "It's apparently pretty gruesome," he turned toward the building. "Are you prepared, Itadori-kun?"

You stayed back and allowed Kento do his teaching as you examined the scene. A special grade was clearly the culprit of the killings. The three of you maneuvered to the top of the building until you stepped onto the roof to be greeted by a grotesque creature (AN: This creature is separate from the canon ones because...). You screeched after being startled, launching a bit of cursed technique reversal in its direction - immediately annihilating it before a few others showed up.

"Sorry..." you blushed and slightly giggled as the two men blinked hard at your quick reflex. "I'll let you take care of the other two..."

"Right, I'll take this one - Itadori, you take that one. And if you think you can't win against it, call me over," Kento took charge.

"Aren't you looking down on me a bit much?" Yuji questioned with an exasperated tone.

"It's not a matter of looking down on you or not. I'm an adult and you're a child. I have a duty to prioritize you over myself."

"Ooo, Kento, look at you...being all fatherly, I like that side of you..." you playfully nudged him with your elbow as he chose to ignore you.

"If you're gonna' look at me like a kid, I'd rather you just look down on me," the teen rolled his eyes in response to his temporary teacher.

"You've escaped death many times, but that doesn't mean you've become an adult," Kento mumbled seriously while removing his jacket and handing it to you. "Finding more fallen hair on your pillow, your favorite stuffed bread disappearing from the convenience store...the accumulation of little despairs," he looked right at you as he said this, a sheepish expression on your face, "that's what makes people adults." He then removed his cleaver from its holster on his back and stepped toward the creature.

You stood by, a bit bored as Kento explained his technique and Yuji watched with awe. Yuji also proceeded to take care of his creature, at least until Kento interrupted again to expose quite the mystery: the spirit was wearing a watch and was able to be photographed. Their bodies would be sent back to Shoko for examination where she would determine that they were once humans...which was clearly the doing of the same special grade that killed those in the theater.

The three of you called it a day after such a discovery, Kento dismissing Yuji back to his hidey hole. That left the two of you alone to leave campus that evening.

"I didn't appreciate what you did earlier in front of Yuji," Kento took off his glasses and shoved them in his jacket pocket as you both headed off campus to the train station.

"Oh yeah, and what are you gonna' do about it?" You taunted.

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin’s Old Days Date- Analysis

I received an ask just then about this date and so I’m typing my heart away at 2 in the morning. It didn’t really fully sink in to how much of a good date Old Days was until some time had passed, with the way how I looked at Gavin back then different to how I saw him now. This date brought back so many emotions and memories- especially when it’s such a well-rounded story with various hidden meanings and references which enabled me to have something to analyse!

This date circulates around Gavin and MC’s high school history in the span of days Friday and Saturday- on that fateful day when Gavin wanted to give the letter, to the night he waited for her.

It also has a circular storyline structure, from when MC first dreams of Gavin that catalyses following events. But something we also have to note is that the whole entire time until the very last few minutes- MC is ‘dreaming’.

The turbulent flow of time and space stunned me, and countless doors opened before me one by one.

The memory fragments poured in, and those images reflecting me and Gavin flew past quickly.

He turned his back to me and walked away, his white shirt fluttering in the wind, almost engulfed by the increasingly denser mist.

I shouted his name aloud and ran desperately, wanting to catch up with him, but the corner of his shirt was like wind that couldn't be grasped, dispersing between my fingers.

His figure became increasingly blurred as he was farther and farther, finally disappearing completely in the narrow field of vision.

Standing in the void, I seemed to have lost all directions and motivation forward.

Until a gentle breeze with a familiar fragrance blew the fog away.

There seemed to be dazzling sunlight piercing through the clouds, and after the mist dissipated, a completely different space-time appeared before me…

This part of MC’s dream is like a metaphor for Gavin’s sudden leave. The mini fragments of her memories and the information that she knew now compared to back in high school come together to try to form some comprehensible picture in her mind, which in this case- her dream.

(Which probably was helped by the presence of Black Cabin with the ‘“doors”. But I could also argue that it wasn’t, because this isn’t supposed to be the first time MC enters Black Cabin. Then again, dates differ from the main storyline.)

But just like how MC is Gavin’s North Star, without him, even she is lost and directionless. They both need each other. As they are each others’ mystery, they are each others’ answers.

“This uniform and medals are my beliefs, with you guiding me in the direction forward.” -Go See Him

MC wants to reach out, not wanting Gavin to leave her, just like how he left seven years ago. Though even here, Gavin’s wind helps guide her forward- to meet him again in this time-space.

Dreams are still a big mystery to us. Some say it reveals our deepest desires and fears presented by our subconscious. By listening to it, we are able to guide our efforts in achieving and chasing what we truly desire whilst avoiding our fears. And if some dreams are based on truth, then it can easily foreshadow what we are about to encounter.

As MC finally settles in appearing at their old school of Loveland High, she sees Gavin.

Through the crowds, he seemed to be looking at the girl standing on the middle of the flag raising platform with a speech draft in her hands. Without realising, he crumpled the letter in his hand even more tightly.

The infamous letter.

Moments ago he saw me, he was so shocked that his pupils contracted slightly. He also slipped when he was about to jump down.

“Who are you?”

The shock in his eyes was now replaced by alertness and uncertainty.

Gavin clearly doesn’t know this MC- because in this time-space, she doesn’t really exist. As I said above, as dreams can be based on truth and our desires, MC feels like she could have done something to correct their relationship in this course of time. But at this stage between her and Gavin, she doesn’t know much about it because he never explicitly told her and she wants to know. This dream is a manifestation of that.

MC: “Excuse me, do you know MC? I am her cousin.”

MC also experiences being her own cousin such as in Time Subway’s Loveland High Noodle Bar and STF Drill Ground.

Gavin looked at me suspiciously for a long time, and finally nodded indifferently.

Gavin: “Oh, what do you want with her?”

MC: “How is she doing in school lately?”

Gavin: “I don’t know her that well.”

Gavin helps MC locate herself- her high school self- but when she looks back, he has already disappeared. She then overhears students talking about Gavin getting beaten up by a hundred people and becomes an investigator into his whereabouts.

The next part of the date isn’t from MC’s narration, which led me to believe that this really did happen in MC and Gavin’s own universe. The ‘truth’ of the dream.

*Beating up happening*

Random Kid Who Doesn’t Have Better Things To Do: “I heard that our school overlord is transferring to another school. Is that true? Since you are leaving, why can’t you be good?”

Gavin: “That’s none of your business!”

Random Kid Who Doesn’t Have Better Things To Do: “True, but after you leave, your beloved girl will no longer be under protection, right? Don’t worry I’ll take care of her for you. And I heard she’s our campus belle.”

Gavin (fiercely with an angry face): “What did you say?”

*More beating up*

MC’s POV begins.

Finally, I found the alley from memory.

Gavin: “You won’t get off so easily next time. Try getting near her and see what happens.”

Gavin leaves and even MC wasn’t fast enough to catch a wounded, bleeding Gavin. She racks her brains to try to figure out where he is, and finally comes to the piano room.

And BEHOLD- Gavin casually sitting on a ginkgo tree dressing his wounds.

Gavin (annoyed): “Why are you everywhere…”

MC: “Are you waiting for MC? She’s preparing for exams so she won’t be here today.”

Gavin: “...I wasn’t looking for her.”

Gavin reluctantly agrees to follow MC into the infirmary and she starts to help properly dress his wounds.

MC: “Are you not a close friend with MC?”

Gavin: “... I’ve just heard her name before. She’s got good grades and she’s very kind.”

MC: “Have you ever talked to her?”

Gavin: “Nope.”

MC: “Then how do you know she’s kind?”

Gavin: “Why should I answer your questions?”

He looked a little vexed, looking away with his ears turning red.

MC: “Sorry, I meant well. It’s just that she’s mentioned you to me. She says you’re not as bad as what people say you are. You helped carry her books and took her to the infirmary…”

Gavin: “I just happened to be around.”

MC: “Err, then you must happen to be around quite a lot.”

Gavin: “How do you know all of this?”

MC: “She tells me everything. We even look very similar don’t we?”

Gavin: “But you act differently.”

MC helps Gavin finish patching his wounds and Gavin is noted to be unwilling to stay with her.

MC: “I have one more thing to tell you. MC is a bit slow. She is not as good as you think, and will also be blinded by rumours…”

Gavin interrupts me coldly.

Gavin: “She’s a very nice person. What she thinks of me has nothing to do with anyone else. If you're here just to tell me these things, then I don't need to listen to you.”

Gavin grabbed his uniform, but a white object fell from his pocket to the floor.

It was a crumpled letter. Stained in blood.

I went to pick it up but the paper slipped out and I caught a glimpse of the contents by accident.

Gavin quickly picked up the letter and put it back without saying a word.

There was a flash of dismissal in his eyes. He tried to flatten the creases on the letter awkwardly.

(RIP LETTER. He even tried to flatten it. GAVINNN)

Gavin’s view remains the same in their own universe- “You can’t change other people’s opinions but you can change your attitude towards them. Don't let yourself be easily affected. You shouldn't envy me. You’re different from me. You're kind and thoughtful. That's what makes you, you. Besides, I’m not as free as you think, and I care about a lot of things.” -Company Footage [Chapter 3-7]

The scene around her changes. MC figures that if this is the memory of her and Gavin, then the most important thing was to find him.

MC’s mind fixates on the familiar bloody letter- recalling its words. MC then sprints to the school library.

The library looked a little deserted in the darkness. Looking along the rows of bookshelves, I finally found Gavin seated next to the window.

At this point, Gavin has been waiting a whole day for high school MC to meet him. She didn’t read the letter that had the time he wanted her to come.

He turned around and the moment he heard my footsteps, and the glimmer in his eyes suddenly died away again when he saw me.

I realised that on this day, he had wanted to say goodbye.

He just frowned and looked away, uninterested.

MC: “Are you waiting for MC? She might have misunderstood. Sorry, let me apologise for her.”

Gavin: “It has nothing to do with you.”

He paused and said in a self-mockery tone.

Gavin: “I knew she wouldn't come anyway.”

I’ve never seen Gavin like this. At this time, he was still so young and one could easily read his emotions.

Only then did I realise how he described his past as a mere “regret” was an understatement. He had to endure the long wait and the misery of being understood silently.

(It’s 2am and I’m crying.)

I mistook the farewell letter as a threat and threw it away. I never tried to learn the truth and misunderstood him. And still was protected and cherished by him.

I never felt so sorry and never wanted to blame myself even more.

If I didn't know all of this, if we had never met each other after we went in opposite directions…

MC: “Although I know saying these now is meaningless...You’ll be a very awesome person in the future, and you will stick to your belief and to justice. And you’ll also meet the person you want to meet. Even though she might not be great and always troubles you, you will definitely meet each other in the future. So…”

But when I looked back up, Gavin was gone.

As if back to the beginning of the dream, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t catch up or make a sound.

And MC wakes up. (Circular storyline- starts and end with a dream- starts and ends with Gavin.)

“Why did it take you so long to answer? Did you just wake up?”

It was Gavin.

MC: “Gavin… I….”

Gavin: “Why do you sound so weird?”

MC: “I had a dream about you.”

Gavin: “Was it a bad dream? Don’t worry, it won’t happen. By the way, I'll be at your place soon. I brought steamed buns and soybean milk for breakfast.”

Just like how he bought milk and bread for her at the infirmary after she fainted during a school sports event.

The moment I saw Gavin, I threw myself into his arms, crying.

His strong chest, the familiar smell under his collar. This was Gavin, the Gavin who would never disappear or leave me.

Gavin: “Why are you crying?”

He tried to dry my tears clumsily, but both his hands were occupied, so he had to move to the table and put the breakfast down while I hung onto him like a koala.

Gavin: “Tell me, what was your dream about?”

MC: “In my dream, you skipped class, got into fights, and ignored me.”

Gavin: “...”

MC: “You also said, ‘it’s none of your business’ to me coldly several times.”

He held back laughter and listened to my tearful complaint. Then he suddenly took my hand, and slapped it on his palm.

Gavin: “Then bully me back now.”

MC: “Gavin, have you ever thought about… what if we didn’t meet?”

He gave it some thought and nodded seriously.

Gavin: “Yes I have. If I wasn't there, would the girl get bullied? Would someone be looking out for her? I’ve also wondered if someone would fall in love with her or give her a love letter.... Would she like someone else? So, if I were to meet her again, I must hold onto her.”

He took my hand lightly, and kissed it preciously, his voice soft.

“And never let her go again.”

(The same hands that helped dress his wounds. CRYING.)

All this time Gavin had regretted not being able to give the letter to her in person, presumably with the fear of rejection from the one person he cared about. Even if Gavin hadn’t had a conversation with her or knew her very well, the interactions they have had together was enough for Gavin to form an opinion of her- a strong enough opinion that even he refuses to listen to MC’s ‘cousin’ (interactions like wanting to introduce himself in the library but MC dashes off LOL).

Wanting to protect her continuously from the students during the alleyway fight and waiting day and night for her also really does showcase his determination and the effectiveness of having a glimmer of hope from and for someone goes a long way, especially with a loyal man like Gavin.

Additionally, MC states that he was cold to her, which shows that even someone who claimed to be her cousin wouldn't melt Gavin’s heart with secondhand words. (That wall that he built up between him and MC of how he bats each question she asks with another question LOL.)

Even in front of Cousin MC, he wants to keep up that tough and unbreakable persona, the one that high school MC is more familiar with- until the very end when he finally has to come to the conclusion that MC is not going to see him. This therefore really does make him think that she didn't want to meet him. And in the storyline, he really did have to live like that, thinking that she thought of him just like how everyone did- until they met again.

But after all that Gavin had been through, he’s willing to cherish every moment he has with MC in the future. Not basing their relationship off of the failures, misunderstandings and regrets- but their hopes and dreams of a better future together.

“Before you… I lower all my defences.” -Gavin

[thatwriterkei]

-Moment of Tangency-

Series Summary: When Y/N's favorite fictional characters come to life, a mystery ensues as a killer wreaks havoc in Bangor, Maine.

~

Chapter Summary: What started out as a sleepover with your best friend turned into a night of unexplainable events.

Warnings: cursing, underage pining if you squint, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Here's the first chapter of the big series I was talking about! I really hope you guys enjoy this, I've been working on this for about a month and it would mean the world to me if you have feedback and brought attention to this to those who would enjoy it too! I'm really excited to see how this goes.

~

Main Masterlist

MOT Masterlist

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_________________

Chapter One: The Beginning

"You will soon receive support from an unexpected source.." 

The red letters of your fortune stared back at you ominously.

"Hey, that's great timing huh?"

"Too soon, Marcus..Too soon."

A sheepish smile formed on his freckled face, "Sorry..Here, have another."

You shook your head, waving away the cookie. "I'll just stick to mine. I only have a little bit of room left for it." 

You took small bites, slowly indulging in the delicious treat, afraid of letting it go to waste with just two or three bites.

"I'm surprised your dad let me spend the night."

"Honestly, me too..I don't think he noticed that you're in the middle of transitioning."

"He probably just thinks I'm gay or something.."

You let out a choked laugh, "Maybe because you are."

"Hey, you can't tell me that Mr. Fisher isn't hot as fuck!"

"He isn't, oh my god!" You tried to finish the rest of your cookie without inhaling crumbs, suppressing the laughter building in your stomach.

"Have you seen his hands?! Y/N, I don't think you understand how much I adore him!"

"He's 20, Marcus!! Not to mention, he sucks at teaching physics."

"Hey, I didn't say my future man had to be smart."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yes, yes I am. Oh! Speaking of guys, any good gossip for the ship of a century?"

You could help but roll your eyes at his teasing, blood rushing to the apples of your cheeks.

"Kolby and I haven't spoken since last week. I don't think he likes me anyway. He's been talking to Heather more recently.." 

And, for some reason, you weren't too interested in him either. Yes, he was a nice looking, athletic guy but you just didn't care enough to go further than a 'hi, how're you?' with him.

"Well, his loss. You're a wonderful girl and it's a shame he's wasting your time with his boyish nonsense. Besides, he doesn't even wear watches like Mr. Fisher."

"I swear to god, if you mention him or watches one more time.."

"You're right, sorry," he held up his hands defensively before putting them down, "I just don't wanna see you get hurt, Y/N/N.."

"I know you're worried, Marcus, but I'm fine. It's our junior year, I don't think long-term relationships are supposed to happen for us until we're in like college."

"You never know..Anyway, what do you even see in him?"

You let out a sigh, sinking in the mounds of pillows and blankets that are laid astray on your bed.

"Umm..He's cute, without a doubt. His jokes are sometimes funny, depends on who he's around. He has a nice sense of style, I guess? I don't know..We've only known each other for a little over two months."

Marcus laid beside you, rolling to his side with a dopey grin plastered on his pale face. "And a lot could happen in two more months if you just talk to him. I promise, I won't even bother you in Algebra..Okay? Just trust me on this.."

You groaned but, nevertheless, agreed with a silent nod.

"Love shouldn't be this complicated.."

"Sometimes it is, sweetie..But only time can lead you to where you're supposed to be.."

"Yeah, I know...Since when did you become my therapist?" You let out a scoff.

"Since third grade! Now, c'mon, get off your lazy ass and let's do something cool!" 

He pulled at your limp arm once he stood up, dragging you to the floor and down the hallway towards the mini library your stepmom installed about a year ago; who has yet to use it.

"If you were looking for 'cool', you brought us to the wrong place." 

Your eyes scanned over the bookshelves, catching titles of famous works.

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Great Gatsby

War and Peace

Charlotte's Web

"You only have that perception because you hate her."

"Of course! Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, but this is still cool! You should take advantage of it while you can." 

Marcus released his hold from your ankle, scampering over to the section of the library where a red and white book was gleaming for attention.

"Oh my god! Miranda got the newest edition of IT?"

You stood up abruptly and made your way over. "She got what?!" 

"Holy shit, this is amazing! We haven't fangirled over this book since freshmen year."

"Oh yeah, our biggest obsession since One Direction." You laughed, taking the book out of his hands and running your finger over the textured title.

"Not gonna lie, the older cover looked better."

You rolled your eyes and ushered him over to the desk in the middle of the room. "Wait, let's see if they kept in that one part.."

"Which one? Does it have to do with Stanley? You had a major crush on his fictional ass." He teased, pulling up another chair beside yours.

"No no no, the one with Eddie and-Oh, I found it!"

Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds…but he had sort of liked it, too. It was something….like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents’ fears, hopes, constant demands. Richie couldn’t do his beloved Voices for shit, but maybe he did know how important it was to creeps like them to sometimes be different people.

"Oh, I absolutely love this part..It's just, mwah, beautiful. Stephen King certainly knew what he was doing.."

"C'mon, let's go back to my room and reminisce." You took his arm and pulled him back to your bedroom.

~

You internally screamed at Marcus's onslaught recollection of memories.

"Oh, and that one time when you had a major attraction for-"

"Okay okay, that's enough reminiscing!!" You tossed the book at him.

"Aww, what? Feelin' embarrassed, sweetie?" He barely dodged the book, letting it bounce off your bed and onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Shut up.." You grabbed the nearest pillow and slightly smothered yourself with it.

The memories he continued to bring up brought back some nostalgia but looking back at it now made you cringe. You were practically grown up now, not 15 years old. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. But wouldn't it be cool if the losers club was real? Like actually around, in real life? Derry was based off of Bangor so it's more than likely you could find your own Stanley Uris." 

You cracked a smile at that and threw the pillow at him, situating yourself underneath the covers of your bed. "Yeah, yeah. I wish."

Marcus promptly pulled out his phone and checked the time, turning it over towards you  and flashing the bright light in your face. "Well, it's almost 11:11..Make a wish!"

"Seriously?" You deadpanned.

"C'mon, it wouldn't hurt!"

You sighed, sitting up on your elbows and closing your eyes. "Tell me when. You wish it too, okay?"

"Okay," some time passed, "now."

I wish the losers club was real..The entire gang. Every single one of them.

I wish I could blow Bill Denbrough.

You opened your eyes after you recited your wish a couple of times, sighing. You raised an eyebrow at Marcus, seeing him struggle to contain his laughter though the crimson red covering every inch of his face gave it away.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wished that I could blow Bill."

"Goddamnit, Marc."

~

It took about a half hour before the two of you could fully relax into a deep sleep but once you guys did, Marcus took up most of the bed. 

A heavy gush of wind pushed open your window, the cool air from outside blowing into your room. You snuggled a little more under the covers, face being buried into someone's back. They smelled so nice, a light hazelnut scent and freshly washed hair that reminded you of late night drives with your older cousin when you were younger; Just absolute nostalgia exuded from them. You felt your entire body relax against theirs, the warmth overtaking your slightly exposed skin from the nippy air coming through the window.

You hear a quiet groan from the opposite side of you, the noise causing you to stir from whatever you were dreaming about prior; It was a bit fuzzy.

"What the fuck? Dumbass window.." It was just Marcus.

You felt the weight from the bed disappear, his dull footsteps moving around the carpeted room as he shuts the window.

He turns around and gives one look over the room, his eyes partially open. He sees a couple of people in the room, the sight confusing him in his drowsy state.

"What the..?"

A mix of someone screaming bloody murder and a smoke alarm going off floods the room, echoing off the walls and throughout the house. Even Marcus wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors heard him too.

It takes just a few seconds before your sleeping mind can process the screeching, thus causing you to flip over to your other side and turning on the lamp. Your eyes are piercing with annoyance, though you were still a little concerned about your astonished friend across the room.

"Marc, what the hell?! What's wrong? What happened?"

You cast a glance around your room, trying to pick the oddball out.

"What the hell?!" You hear from behind you, the sudden noise alarming you and making you jump off the bed towards the ground. 

Your head whipped around so quickly you were sure it was the dizziness that made your imagination run wild from the sight. There laid a guy, around your age, with very curly light brown hair that just looked absolutely divine to twirl your fingers around.

Underneath you comes a strangled groan, almost upon impact. Looking below, you find a girl with fiery red hair in a bob style. You push yourself off of her and scoot away until your back hits Marcus's legs.

"Who the fuck is yelling-Oh, holy shit..!" You hear another slightly deep voice exclaim. 

Turning to your right sat five other guys with drastically different appearances, one after another coming to the realization that they had no fucking clue where they were.

The room grew quiet, fear growing in your eyes as you try to find a person to focus on but the thought only made you even more dizzy than before.

_________________

Let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters!! 💖

-Moment of Tangency- tags: @beauregard-s @demoniclust @deepestofwaters @grapesauze @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @soulwillower @19tozier @phrogtheguitarist @kindofokayimagines @stenbrozier @stenbrozier @brxken-heartsclub @fucking-greywater @theliterarymess

[tabellae-rex-in-sui]

How'd you get in trouble for bullying a parent? What??

Get ready cuz it happened almost 10 years ago but I still get pissed off thinking about to this day and I'm about to rant.

So I was in girl scouts for some unholy reason and it was Friday in I think 5th grade which meant we had a troop meeting after school. We were going to do some sightseeing field trip in the city but the Hunger Games movie came out today and I was super into the books. I had read them last summer and I was dying to see the movie. Some of my friends who were in the troop also loved the books and the rest just wanted to see the movie. Either way everyone in our troop wanted to see it. So I was 11 and I had just learned about petitions so I was like "I'll make a petition! So we can see that as our meeting today instead of going sightseeing!" So I spent my lunchtime writing out a petition in sharpie and then spent recess going around and getting signatures. I got all the girls to sign it. Literally everyone had signed it. I was like "hey we're supposed to go into the city today, but we've all done that. I thought it might be fun to go see Hunger Games as a group!" Clearly that's not a hard sell to a bunch of 11 year old girls. Everyone was down and I was very proud of myself.

Then things got weird. Some time in the afternoon, me and my friend at the time were called down to the guidance counselor. And she was like, "so this petition..." And I'm there thinking like how? How does she even know like what's going on. And because I'm a dumb kid who's taught to believe if an adult calls you out then you must have done something wrong, I'm freaking out. So she's like "So it was your idea and [Friend] wrote it out?" Which like, no, it was my idea and I wrote it, don't not give me credit and don't insult my friend's handwriting like that. I didn't even know why my friend was there anyway. All she did was sign it, but every one had. I guess someone wrongly told her she wrote it? Idk It was so surreal. Lemme put this into perspective: I had never been called to the guidance counselor. I was a very well behaved child growing up. I was one of like three brown kids in a white school (another one of the three being my friend next to me) so my mom was very "you can't cause trouble!" I had good grades, I participated in class, the guidance counselor didn't even know my name. I was a good student. So now I'm terrified because I didn't think I did anything wrong but clearly I did because here I am. And the counselor goes on to explain how the troop leader (the mother of one of the girls in our troop) had planned an outing for us tonight and it was disrespectful of me to try and act against that. And how I had really hurt her feelings by my actions. That I was bullying her and I should have thought about her feelings before I acted. So I'm in tears, my friend who isn't even supposed to be there is in tears. I still don't know how this even got back to a parent in the middle of the day but I'm too scared to ask. And then the counselor's like "okay good so we can put this behind us?" And we said yes. So she ripped our petition, said she was proud of us and sent us back to class. And then when the troop meeting came after school the mom who I had apparently bullied didn't even mention it to me or anything. Man, it was so wacky.

Bitch I wish I wasn't 11 when that happened, I would have gone off today. A) you're lucky I didn't throw a tantrum or demand to see the movie, I was 11, that could have easily been my course of action. But no, I took a head count, had everyone in agreement with me sign their names in shitty cursive. I was being civil. B) Like I said I had a good reputation, I was well behaved: You could have easily explained to me that it was too late to get movie tickets for tonight or that another outing was already planned and it would be too much of a hassle to change it last minute. I'd be disappointed sure, but I'd understand. And a girl scout troop leader shouldn't be scared to confront a child wtf?? C) She called the GUIDANCE COUNSELOR ON ME?? For HURTING her FEELINGS by saying I wanted to see a MOVIE??BITCH you're a grown ass woman! I'm 4ft tall! Was I terrorizing you, is that it? Was I harassing you? Was this a personal attack? I'm so sorry my squiggly sharpie letters came into your home and slapped your ass. I'm so sorry I catfished you on Ok Cupid. Terribly sorry, Madame, for my wretched self inciting rebellion in your House. Get fucked, bitch.

Anyway idk how she found out in the first place. I have a theory that her daughter called her to tell her the idea and she freaked out. Her daughter was cool though, she wouldn't do it to purposely get me in trouble, I think she just wanted to tell her mom and see if it was possible for us to see the movie. In fact, she was the most outspoken against her mom. She frequently called her a bitch to my face and that day even referred to us seeing a movie instead of the outing her mom planned as "ditch the bitch" so... We always talk about dealing with Karens but no one stops to think about the kids that have to be raised by Karens 😔 The mom also didn't work so she spent a lot of time volunteering at the school. Maybe she was helping the lunch ladies that day and I just don't remember? And that's how she found out? Anyway the thought of a grown woman being so threatened by 11yr old me saying 'hey what if we saw Katniss?🥰' is hilarious and I fully plan to tell everyone I meet that I got in trouble for bullying a parent in 5th grade.

[punkscowardschampions]

Mia & Jimmy & Janis

Mia: [Computer Science project that you have to make a company/logo/business cards/spreadsheets/website/everythang you could think of so it takes a full term or whatever and you have to work with each other in every lesson] Mia: Right, I think we should do a law firm for our business Mia: because my dad is so we can actually use examples to make all our products legit Jimmy: what, like no win, no fee? 👍 can do a funny ad piss easy Mia: That is NOT the kind of lawyer my dad is Mia: funny isn't gonna get us good grades either Jimmy: 💔 Dunno who I'm gonna get to chase my 🚑 now Janis: I'm with Chuckles Janis: you're just trying to make this project most beneficial to you Janis: I don't wanna be a vulture when I grow up Janis: go generic as possible or it ain't fair Jimmy: don't reckon your dad needs the free promo any road, rich girl Jimmy: unless this is a cry for help that he can't get the prey Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Mia: Obviously I want to make it beneficial, I CARE about my grades and future Mia: but I'd love to hear your suggestions I'm sure Jimmy: you after a 🏆 or just a 👏 for trying to get an A? Mia: I get As, new boy, I don't just try Jimmy: I get it, you want 🤤😍 Jimmy: there Mia: Don't be so disgusting Mia: If you two are going to try and sabotage my grade, I WILL make my dad make Sir let me move Mia: I'm not being dragged down Jimmy: crack on, we've worked out your dad ain't busy with accidents at work Janis: Like, please try and use all daddy's clout to get that stubborn prick to do anything he's deciding he's not gonna do Janis: I already said I'd do this shit alone and no 🎲 Jimmy: don't sound like him that Jimmy: go on, rich girl, love to witness another failed flex Janis: You reckon we'd get extra points for fluffing our business expenses like your dad or what? Janis: I'll go along with it if we can convincingly hide our fake funds in a tax haven and make ourselves look LEGIT 👌 Jimmy: Me an' all Mia: You know as little about my dad as you do about your own, Janis Mia: you wish he was as crooked too but he's on the right side of the law so Janis: above the law Janis: can't do no wrong in your eyes, so I've heard Janis: but doubt new boy finds your family drama any more interesting than I do Janis: be a fucking law firm if you like, let's just split the jobs up equally and we don't have to talk until it's time to piece it all together Jimmy: I'll have the ad and the logo, tah very much Janis: you mean the fun bits Jimmy: I mean the 🎨 bits Jimmy: rich girl wants her A Janis: obliging Janis: I'll make the website and business cards, I've done it before Janis: Mia, do the data input, yeah Janis: star in Tarantino's ad, you'll love that Mia: No, no Mia: I don't feel comfortable leaving you completely to your own devices Mia: that's not a totally terrible split of the workload but I intend to oversee every step of the process Mia: we have to do a writeup at the end, you know Jimmy: it's almost like the other lass ain't as thick as you'd feel comfortable her being, funny that Mia: I literally want to do well and as far as I know, I'm the only one here who consistently gets good grades Mia: so hostile Mia: I agree that's how we should split the work but I'm not going to just assume you'll both do it well, we can all have input in every part Jimmy: could LITERALLY fill a book the size of sir's big head with all the shit you don't know about what I do well Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: watch me, if you don't get enough of it already, better uniform at work though, don't you reckon? Mia: Oh my God, brag much? Mia: hit the nail on the head with big head 🙄 Jimmy: stalk much? 🙄 Jimmy: least your dad could take my case Mia: It's HER sister that likes you, not ME Mia: get a grip and take it up with her if you're not feeling it Jimmy: I'll still give your dad a bell, chuck him that 🦴 as he's struggling Mia: As I said, he doesn't DO no win no fee, so you couldn't afford him Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Now we've established it's justice only for those that can afford it Janis: and rich girls can do whatever they want Janis: what are we doing first, oh mighty project manager Jimmy: I'll do the logo in blue, sounds about right, that Janis: #bluelivesmatter is already taken for a tagline but I'll get to thinking Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll have a think if I wanna use gold for her 👑 or silver for the 🥄 Janis: 🥄 might imply a problem with amphetamines and obviously, you want everyone to know you WORKED for that 💀🦴 all by yourself, you know Mia: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mia: taking over the family business, yeah? Jimmy: Oi, it ain't that grim up north Mia: Grim is right Jimmy: Gutted Rosso didn't make you feel like the WAG you deserve on your last visit babes 🤞 next time you'll spot them celebs Jimmy: or you'll keep to Bijou, that glam dress code would never do you dirty Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want me to make sure you're infertile Janis: all those cheat days and binges got you feeling unsure, no problem, just ask Jimmy: lend her the 🥄 Mia: You are both SUCH freaks Mia: what does any of that even mean Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: only a freak on the weekend, me Mia: NOT interested, new boy Mia: I HAVE a boyfriend who's a lot hotter than you, right Janis? Jimmy: makes two of us, rich girl Janis: For someone who thinks my bloodline is filth, you LOVE being surrounded by 'em, yeah Janis: bit weird but everyone likes their bit of rough Janis: how disadvantaged is your dad's newest mistress, I mean secretary? Janis: SO charitable 💙 Jimmy: might be northern, sounds like they've been there loads Mia: Are you gay, new boy? Mia: I'll have to let down Gracie for you Jimmy: only for sir Jimmy: he's well fit Jimmy: crack on with letting your bestie down though and if my mum's the one with your dad, tell her she left the oven on but I sorted it Mia: ??? Mia: What EVEN Mia: you're cracked Jimmy: brb gotta go dry my eyes Jimmy: 🐣💕 Jimmy: I do feel #seen tah for that, hun Mia: I can't even Mia: fine, you two come up with our company branding Mia: I'm going to write out all the info to put on our website when it's done Jimmy: Oi, bad blood, you wanna be the star of my ad or what? Janis: no Jimmy: alright, I'll ask sir Janis: good taste Janis: rinse her dad in a fight Jimmy: tah for the meet cute opportunity Jimmy: when he's her dad's new mr I wanna 🎥📸 the wedding Janis: awh, full ⚪ Janis: she'll look adorable in her flower girl dress Jimmy: 🤞 Gracie catches the 💐 Jimmy: she is on a lad hunt Janis: 🤞 Mia's da has a brother Mia don't also want to fuck Jimmy: don't leave us in suspense 👑 does he or what? Mia: Shut the fuck up or I'll show all this to Sir Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: he'll think I'm 😎 and I'll be well in Janis: Do it, little miss perfect Janis: the part where you shit on my dead dad's grave will be well more shocking when I open the floodgates 😭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: ... Jimmy: ........ Janis: guess Sir won't wanna pet you no more when he finds out a. you're a cunt b. new boy is interested in your position Jimmy: he'll do til I can get Mr Lucas Jimmy: you can have him back then Janis: LOVE a happy ending Jimmy: I'll look top in my 👰 Janis: gutted about the lack of uniform though, yeah Mia? Jimmy: What do you make your boyfriend wear? 🦺? Mia: New boy, don't even go there 'cos he could beat you down so easy if I asked him to Janis: that means she pisses on him so they know he's hers Jimmy: makes sense that'd be your kink Janis: dog eat dog world, right babes Janis: stories you was raised on come straight out of your dad's man's man motivational speaker bullshit Jimmy: Oh shit, are you my half sister, rich girl? Jimmy: brb gotta pack my shit so I'm ready to move in Janis: get a princess dress to go with that 👰 Jimmy: order my 👑 in XXL tah Janis: can share with your sister Janis: big happy family vibes xoxo Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: get in here sis Janis: finally not a lonely child Mia: Yeah, I SO want 1000s of siblings like you Jimmy: You're alright, I've only got the one brother and the one sister Jimmy: be piss easy to fit us in your palace Mia: You AREN'T invited Mia: might steal the silverware 🥄🍴 Jimmy: I'll leave you a 🥄 to stick down your throat after dinner Jimmy: got some manners, me Mia: That's lovely, isn't it Mia: eating disorders are really serious, you shouldn't make some jokes Janis: respect the 🎨 Jimmy: cleaning the 🚽 after you lot is an' all Jimmy: part of the job description btw, I get that you'd have to have one to know what that means but Janis: 😏 Janis: staff know all your dirty little secrets, babes Janis: better than a tip, like Jimmy: be 👻⚰💀 before I get a tip off her Janis: if we were all walking 'round looking as SICK as her, what would be the point of corroding away her esophagus and not-so pearly whites? Janis: gotta find your own tricks, boy Jimmy: I'll put a ❄️ in the logo for you, babes Janis: cannot escape those coke vibes omg Janis: you're a PR nightmare Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #whitelivesandwhitelines Janis: GREAT slogan Janis: basically done over here and you're just texting 💀💩 Janis: tsk tsk, Mimi Jimmy: tick tock or tik tok if you'd rather Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: make us a law tiktok, hun Jimmy: starring your dad, OBVS Janis: share that 🤤🤤🤤 with the world, not just the local 18-35s Jimmy: 💰 on him being a 🔥🔥🔥 dancer Janis: all middle-aged white men are Jimmy: DUH Janis: POV- you're my client, I'm overcharging you Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍 Mia: You're obsessed with me, I get it 🙄 Jimmy: busted Janis: If that's a crime Janis: get to spend more time with your dad than you do Janis: 💘 Jimmy: SO romantic Jimmy: 👨💕 Janis: can't wait 'til he wants a couple grams Jimmy: refill the silver 🧂 Janis: you know it Janis: sugarbowl never tasted so sweet Jimmy: 😋 Janis: careful Janis: her boyfriend WILL fuck you up Jimmy: I get it, he's obsessed with me Janis: can't blame him Mia: OMG Mia: that is soooo fucked Mia: know your family doesn't see blood relation as an issue but he'll 🤢 when I show him this Jimmy: if he's that bothered, he can come find me Jimmy: you've had my shifts memorised since I started Mia: You wish Jimmy: to give him a smack, yeah Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: sounds like a right knobhead Mia: [sends a picture of Pablo like he's a prize bull or some shit gross Mia] Mia: you reckon, do you? 😂 Jimmy: I reckon he looks like a right knobhead an' all now, since you asked Mia: You've got a deathwish like Mia: wow Janis: kindred spirits Jimmy: 'cause you reckon he looks like a knobhead an' all? that's just sense Janis: was talking about her eating disorder which is VERY serious and we MUST NOT joke about Janis: but yeah, the fuckboy radiating from that selfie must be the appeal Jimmy: Soz mate Mia: She doesn't DO boys, I'd save your breath Jimmy: weren't breathing down her neck, that's you Jimmy: I get why now though, it's a blatant crush Janis: Stalking's your kink, right babes? Janis: Or am I just that special Jimmy: [draws these gals as snowflakes holding hands but Mia is melting] Janis: That's good Janis: but horrific Jimmy: #allherkinks Jimmy: [doodles on the picture of Pablo that she sent in hilarious ways] Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Send him that, whilst you're at it, Mimi Janis: really get him 'roiding out Mia: 🖕🖕🖕 Mia: you're both jealous, both for weird freaky reasons Jimmy: Of what? Go on Mia: You're jealous because you think every girl here wants to ride you and I DON'T Mia: because my boyfriend is better looking and fitter than you 💁 Mia: and she's jealous either because she wants me or she wants her own brother Mia: either way 😷😷😷😷 Jimmy: if every girl round here wanted to crack onto me why would I give a shit if you do or don't? Jimmy: all your mates are fitter than you and they ain't close to this paddy school's top tier Jimmy: and you just said she don't do lads so why would she wanna have a go on her brother unless the steroids have fucked him up harder than advertised Mia: yeah 👌 narcissist Mia: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Jimmy: 🤞 it'll keep you well clear Jimmy: that'll do Mia: I want to be working with you as much as you do me, I've said Mia: leave me alone and this can be as painless as possible Jimmy: I get that you're fuming your boyfriend is growing bigger tits than you but that ain't my problem, my dear Mia: So immature Jimmy: still got a deeper voice than him Janis: imagine defending your man this hard when he fully cheats on you Janis: 💔 Janis: daddy all over again, am I right? Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Jimmy: Dunno what I'm more flattered by, that you reckon I'm gay after seeing the state of all the straight lads round here or not wanting to ride me 'cause I ain't a cheating dickhead with massive tits or in your dad's case a hair transplant Jimmy: either way, tah Janis: could donate some to the cause, new boy Janis: hair, not tits Jimmy: you could an' all Jimmy: cause a scandal Janis: #cancelling bitches is a solid hobby Jimmy: there you go Janis: can't lose my only beauty though Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: have to keep being #problematic yourself babes, so soz Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Stop nerd flirting Mia: send me what work you've done today Jimmy: Hang on, I'll 😎🚬 Jimmy: 💕 Mia: Gross Jimmy: What, I'm only fit and mysterious if I starve myself to 💀💀💀? Alright Jimmy: [sends her the work like oh I must be a nerd then] Mia: Thank you Mia: I'll go over this and give feedback later Jimmy: Gross Mia: 🙄 Mia: I've got to do a speech in Politics and Society after this, so I need to prepare Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 👋 Janis: pleasure as always Jimmy: bit rude if you two get to nerd flirt Janis: what's 'fuck off' in Arabic? Jimmy: تخلص من Jimmy: probably means ILY or some bollocks 'cause I google translated it Janis: beautiful Janis: love double-meaning Janis: Qué te folle un pez espada, new boy Jimmy: ? Janis: I hope you get fucked by a swordfish 💘 Jimmy: [draws their teacher, Mr Lucas, Pablo and Mia's dad all as swordfish so she can vote for who she ships him with] Jimmy: ✔ or ❌ Janis: [❌ out Pablo's eyes and Mr Lucas' junk like no] Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [does very unflattering drawing of Mia all up on her father] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: not an A though, is it Jimmy: [makes it even more unflattering somehow like now it is and now it's also teamwork so even better] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: LOVE a #collab Janis: been waiting for a group project to come along Jimmy: rigged it to work with 👑💀 obvs Janis: duh Jimmy: SO obsessed, her dad will get me off though, he can TOTALLY relate Janis: should but it in our ad Jimmy: 🔪🔪🔪🚿 Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: Sir will kill that role Jimmy: Literally Janis: ha ha 🙄 Jimmy: Chuckles is right 🤡 Janis: keep 'em coming Janis: 👑💀 might have an aneurism Jimmy: 🤞 might get an A if she dies Janis: it's what she would've wanted Jimmy: you do love a happy ending Janis: who don't Janis: be my tragic family's fault, no doubt Jimmy: so I've heard Janis: not gonna apologize, new boy Jimmy: weren't waiting for one Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: please stop nerd flirting with me Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: calm YOURSELF down, mate Janis: did I fuck Jimmy: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [sends her a pisstake version of the logo to fully drag Mia] Janis: is it RGB #374E88 though Jimmy: what? Janis: it's called tory blue Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: [does a colour corrected version immediately] Janis: Better Janis: solid 🥇 Jimmy: Tah Janis: [the pisstake business card with the logo for her dad] Janis: we've absolutely SMASHED it Jimmy: I reckon we can go Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: [IRL 😘 to sir] Janis: [we're loving this so hard but gotta hide it] Jimmy: [strutting out cos bad bitch global] Janis: [when you wanna go for all the reasons but also the rumour mill would go off immediately so you're like hmm] Janis: [fuck your life amirite babe] Jimmy: [gutted we ever have to end this convo so same]

[notjustanotherruka]

National Coming Out Day

Written October 11th, 2017

30 years ago today, there was a march on Washington, DC, consisting of gay/queer activists wanting to make issues and awareness known. The biggest march, with the highest attendance, and the largest scope, ever. Wowza. Kind of a big deal... and by "kinda", I mean "holy shit". 😧 I've also come to realize that quite a few of the LGBTQ and supporters as a whole don't know that information about this day. I've read a lot of posts and articles already today about people's coming out stories, being proud of being out, supporting those around them - their hope, struggles, pride, and individualism... I've also read a handful of storys about why this day shouldn't exist. A couple were hard to read; a couple resonated with me. I went for a run, thought it over, and I decided I wanted to share a memory. A little story, if you will.

My prequel coming out story. And why this day is important.

What the hell is a coming out story? The first time you have realization of how your mind and body might operate differently from those around you? Finally putting a label on it? Kissing your first same-sex person? Dating? Telling someone how you identify for the first time? Sex? //gooood lawd, already I have like... 15 coming out stories. 😂 Ain't nobody got time for that right now. I'll just pick one, thanks. //

1999. I was 11? 12. Whatever, math is hard. Sixth grade. Band nerd, choir nerd, bookworm, teachers pet, student council prez, avid Pokémon and Magic the Gathering player, Nintendo fiend. I was the kid who liked everyone, and everyone liked me. I wasn't super close with a ton of people, but I was easy to be around and I think other kids liked that. I also knew I didn't like boys; I'd known that for a long time. Still, I didn't think that meant anything other than books>boys. //lemme preface that I still feel that way, only it's books>most people bc well, people are silly sometimes. Books are forever. // Anywho, I got in my head that there was something I longed for. Dreamed about. Gushed over, and fantasized about. I couldn't stop. I couldn't get it out of my head, and when I finally got the point where I couldn't take it anymore, I decided I had to tell my mom.

I wanted a perm.

I wanted a perm so bad. SO BAD. I could smell the perm smell. I could feel those curly, dark locks and I could picture the cute looks I was going to rock so hard. I wanted somewhere between Jessi Spano of Saved By the Bell and Janet Jackson's Relvet Rope album cover, and damn it, nothing was going to stop me. My mother wasn't so optimistic. Whatever. I begged. I begged better than anyone had, or has since, ever begged in the history of time itself. And FINALLY... I got my appointment. YAS.

You guys. It. Was.

Amazing.

I strutted outta that salon feeling like four weeks of allowance. It was perfect. My hair was so long that after the perm, the curls fell right at the middle of my back, and the lady had even made them cute and crunchy for me. // you know what I'm talking about. Like, crunchy. You know. // I went home knowing I was going to need to set aside at least four hours to decide what I was going to wear the next day. My mom took my picture on the back deck, and I'm not kidding - I seriously considered ruining the rest of the 110mm film in the roll so that I could go to walmart and have them developed. // Eh, hindsight is 20/20. It would have taken 5 days to get them back. It's film, people. // I was on cloud 9 when my head hit the pillow that night. I'm pretty sure I WAS Jessi in my dreams. Tomorrow was going to be Glorious.

Morning sun. Outfit selected. Towel in hand. Shower. Smiling in the mirror as I got ready to make these curls as cool as I felt. I'll just give them a good brush, and... ...the brush didn't move. 😐 I couldn't even get my fingers through it. I started to sweat. My super thick, super long, super dark, gorgeous hair was now a bird's wet dream for house building. Fudge. //jsyk, my 6th grade self was totally saying fuck over and over again. Also, again hindsight is 20/20, and go figure... maaaaybe my mom wasn't wrong. Notice how I didn't say she was right, buuuut. You know. Moms. //

So the perm was a disaster. Of course it was. My solution for the next six months ended up being massive amounts of Biologe conditioner, and then leaving in the Biologe conditioner. // notice how I didn't say I used 'leave-in' conditioner; I literally LEFT IN the conditioner. Whatever. It worked. And I got the crunchy look without a ton of other products. Win/win? 🙄// Anywho, six long months of that bullshit until finally my hair had grown out enough that I could think about getting it cut and starting over. Mom helped me make the appointment, and the locks ended up being gone. Phew. Sweet, sweet relief.

I'd never had hair that short. My sister had, bc she played soccer and it was just easier for her to have that cute, sports girl hair. I had always had super long hair. Always. It took me a few minutes to decide whether I wanted to cry or celebrate the liberation of my neck and scalp. I decided to celebrate. Short hair was pretty cool. School was different too. Everyone we so surprised, but responded really well! I had a hang out date with my best guy friend after school too, so hey - it ended being a good first day of short hair!

I walked to my friends house. I hadn't had time to hang with him all day. He was an eighth grader, so you know, life's busy when you're old. Finally got to his house, tossed down my bag, and sat on the steps how we always sat. We started talking, and he stopped all of a sudden. With a quizzical look, he stated, "Seriously, your hair kinda makes you look like a dike."

I punched him. Square in the nose. Blood everywhere. I didn't even know what that meant, but I didn't like how it felt or the way he said it. I didn't even grab my bag, i just started stomping home. Fuming and crying, I don't even really remember the mile long walk. My dad was sitting in his chair when I got home, and he asked what was wrong. I didn't answer, but he saw the blood on my hand and asked if I was ok. I told him someone had called me a name and I punched him for it. My dad tried not to laugh and said that wasn't nice to call me names, and he was glad I stood up for myself... but maybe not to punch people. Fine. I needed to get outta this convo to get to the computer anyway.

Dike : something about water and a wall or spillway or the sea... what the hecks. Yikes, maybe I shouldn't have punched him. Why the hell did he call me this? Next search : Dike hair. Huh. // ...much like my mother, this kid ALSO hadn't been wrong. My hair was this hair. But the spelling was off. Dyke. Also, the word 'lesbian' kept coming up. //

Next search. Lesbian. Women who like and date other women. // lezbehonest, there were OTHER sites that popped up too, but I knew better than to click on them. #goodkid // Women who date women. Girls who like girls. Girls who don't like boys like that. Omg. This... this made sense. It explained why I had such a crush on my third grade teacher. It made sense why I liked playing Pokémon with my girl friend versus my guy friend. It made sense why I had ZERO inclination to ever KISS a boy. The thought wasn't gross. It was WRONG. UGH. //keep in mind, I was 11. These are the things I remember vividly as the connecting pieces to finally having a name to call my feelings. I can already hear someone ripping this to shreds about how these aren't true indications of human sexuality, blah blah blah... whatever. Go die grumpy about it; this is my story. //

I felt enlightenment. I felt clarity. I felt like I was ok. I could be ok. There were other people like me that didn't like boys, and they were older, so that means maybe if I still don't like boys later... I can like girls. And it can be ok. That was the first time ever feeling that way.

It's October 11, 2017. 30 years ago, a lot of really cool people marched, and one direct effect it had on me was this: I could be told I looked like a dyke. I could research what that was. I could find answers and clarity and not feel alone. They marched for awareness and rights, and bc of that, information was made available to me. My story is part of their story, and it helped mold my Coming Out Story, Vol. 1.

Pretty fucking cool. Also, you never know what might happen as aftermath of an action, so maybe just...

get the perm. ✌🏼