#if i am a pawn of the gods it is only bc they know me so well

[agendabymooner]

london boy ! lando n. x ofc (alessandro sister!writer!ofc)

"they say 'home is where the heart is' but god i love the english."

summary: nicola grazia 'cola' alessandro just moved to britain after tilly wolff's newly opened publishing company hired her as an editor and writer, so what's a better way to get to know your new home than to tour the city with lando norris? OR everyone thinks that the mclaren driver is seeing someone... and he proved to everyone that he is- he just wouldn't show her face.

content warning: based on characters from the rush series (see masterlist), fluff, ion even know if lando's english, use of explicit language, "private but not secret" kind of relationship, colabebe is a private account, daniel ricciardo being a good brother-in-law?? events have taken place post-wedding series.

note: i have a different part already made for this and i made that shit first before the actual introduction to the characters/storyline 😭 my brain is in shambles rn sorry guys. cheers xx

masterlist

liked by landonorris, mateoales, loricciardo

landonorris put them damn dogs away dawg 😩🐶 liked by colabebe

colabebe ur the only one i can hear bitching about it 🤭

landonorris do you have one more room for a person to spoil loricciardo nora_alessandro jacquelinalessandro

mateoales no gtfo no british parasites allowed

danielricciardo have a brother-in-law who feeds off your chanel addiction ✅ liked by colabebe

colabebe have a sister-in-law who keeps an eye on your pregnant wife whenever you're away ✅

danielricciardo i agree ✅

hellonsite you should donate some for charity 🙌

colabebe didn't u call me poor back in elementary for my tattered shoes?

user1 girl bffr 💀

nora_alessandro and now you're few steps away from buying your own chanel bag tesoro 🥰 liked by colabebe

[translation: extremely grateful for the opportunity that was given to me by @wolffpublishing, and for that reason, i will continue to thrive in my journey as an editor and author. thank you so much! hello united kingdom!]

tagged wolffpublishing

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, alex_albon

danielricciardo LETS GOOOOO !!!!! liked by colabebe

tillywolff welcome to the team nicola! ❤️ liked by colabebe

colabebe thank you so so so much tils!

landonorris i cant wait to play muse for you shawty 😭 liked by colabebe

colabebe bold of u to assume i'm not writing about alex_albon

alex_albon yeah i appreciate that and all but isn't that lando's youtube silver plaque on your shelf?

colabebe 👀

landonorris SO YOU WERE JUST SEDUCING ME SO YOU CAN TAKE THAT PLAQUE??? i was so convinced you didn't have ur eyes on it yet here i am 😐

mateoales disgusting comment by lando aside, i think you can sell that plaque at a pawn shop

landonorris STOP ENCOURAGING HER TEO

landonorris you can keep that plaque ig 🤠 liked and pinned by colabebe

colabebe hehehe <3

landonorris its like i never win against any of you alessandros

loricciardo don't lie- you always get your way with me

landonorris so does she???

loricciardo she's my sister mate 🧐

georgerussell63 ur sister sent some wine in ur new flat. congrats! liked by colabebe

colabebe do you think u and her can send another one bc me and lando emptied it already 🙂

georgerussell63 i'm just a boyfriend, not jesus.

colabebe posted a story !!!

liked by carlossainzjr, georgerussell63, loricciardo

user1 your plaque and YOUR WHAT? 😟😳

landonorris did i stutter?

user2 i didnt know u have rizz like that 😱 liked by landonorris

georgerussell63 baffled. did you seriously just bring her in your office instead of actually touring london??? smh norris

landonorris absolutely not 😠 she went paddington shopping and to the places that had the sorting hat and everything 😤 i dont like these accusations george william russell

user3 oh no, no-rizz used the full name RUN PRINCE GEORGE🏃‍♀️

carlossainzjr i hate that 👌 thing lando so much liked by landonorris

landonorris sorry babe

carlossainzjr its okay babe

user4 arent we all worried the drivers know who she is?

user5 we? whos we? i like the chaos in the comments idk why u crying about it 🥰

danielricciardo i hope you can still attend the family dinner after calling her a thief 😇

landonorris she likes me so much she wouldn't dare uninvite me

user6 what if lando's dating one of daniel's in-law? 🤔

user7 YES QUEEN BE DELULU I LIKE THAT 🤤

[nightmare-foundation-2]

Am I the only one that disagrees with peoples perception of Oz being that he's a religious paranoid zealot out to destroy and demonize Salem??

Because,, I really never got that kind of vibe from Oz. Oz is a lot of things- bitter, cynical- but what he is NOT is a religious fanatic who follows the GoL without question.

At first, yes he was willing to follow the GoL's orders with little argument.

But did everyone just,, forget,, that he flat-out originally said NO to the God of Light with no hesitation just because he thought Salem wasn't alive?? Like. He straight up said that he basically DOES NOT CARE about the world (and by extension, the gods) if she's not in it.

And when he found out Salem was alive? He completely ignored the GoLs actual warning, the only thing he SHOULD have listened to. He only accepted the GoLs order because Salem was there. That's it.

That... doesn't tell me he's a zealot blindly following the God of Light.

And about trying to follow through with his task, yes it's bc the GoL told him to. But he's not a fanatic.

The only reason he originally wanted to destroy Salem (which was probably a last resort to him, lbr) was because she was actively working AGAINST him. She hurt him DEEPLY by incidentally killing their kids and him (which, yes, she killed their kids, she attacked first for no reason without trying to talk to him), so naturally he's going to see her in a not-so-good light.

As for Oz being paranoid, it's reasonable he would be. He doesn't know which Grimm is hers, which Grimm was deliberately sent, what events are because of her, etc. There's NO WAY to tell at all. He HAS to be vigilant, because if he isn't, people DIE.

And he isn't demonizing her for no reason. This entire time, Salem has been vying for the destruction of Remnant. Whatever her reason is doesn't matter, that's what she wants. If she really wanted to just bring the Gods back to defeat them, she could've easily communicated this to Oz and worked WITH him instead of against him. Not only that, but she destroyed 3 Academies and is responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths, everyone from the guilty to innocent, from elders to children. And it's HEAVILY implied that she started the Great War ("no one knows who shot first" <- in stories that implies the third party, the antagonist, caused it, and Oz was still fighting her then), which resulted in possibly MILLIONS of deaths.

There's also nothing to even imply that she grieved for her daughters' deaths. It's explicitly stated that OZ grieved and drowned his sorrows with alcohol, when Jinn easily could've mentioned if both of them grieved. Oz was, and likely still is, deeply traumatized by his and Salems first fight.

The reason Oz sees her as a manipulative monster is because that's what she currently IS. She tortured Cinder after she disobeyed Salem and manipulated her right after, told Tyrian she was extremely disappointed in him knowing it would hurt him deeply, used Hazels sister to manipulate and keep him on her side EVEN WHILE fighting him- there's probably a million more examples that I can't think of right now. She deliberately uses the broken and hurt of society for her own gain and keeps them broken.

Because of this, in her songs Sacrifice and Divide, she projects HARSHLY onto Oz. Everything she says Oz does is what SHE does- she lies, manipulates, gets people's hopes up only to crush them. She sees humanity 2.0 as nothing more than pawns to use, that she and Oz are the only players. So she thinks that Oz MUST be the same, right? They're both immortal, the only 'true' people, why wouldn't he??

So Salem doesn't TRULY understand Oz in my opinion.

But I really think that Oz DOES understand Salem, at least better than Salem 'understands' him.

Oz... is definitely disillusioned in the Gods. He refers to his immortality as a curse despite the GoL delivering it as a blessing. He's pretty much given up on not just destroying Salem, but also on his task (he straight up said he has no plan when Ruby asked him). He's bitter and no doubt angry. If he was so zealous in his love for the Gods, why would he refer to a blessing as a curse? Why would he give up on his task? Why would he refer to them as essentially people who get into petty fights? To an actual zealot, that would be extreme blasphemy and heresy.

I really do think Oz understands Salems dislike for the Gods. Maybe not at first, not entirely, but now he definitely does. The only thing is that he's not willing to crush people under his boot like Salem does just to get that point across.

I definitely don't think they could ever work together, but mostly because of Salem. Salem views herself as completely separate and better than humanity and hates everything Oz is responsible for. Oz was likely willing to compromise with her, but he didn't like how she did things (like being a tyrannical dictator). And now that Salems done so much damage to him and everyone else, I highly doubt Oz would ever be willing to work with her, same thing with Salem.

To be clear, I don't think Salem was always evil or manipulative nor that Oz is perfect. Salem was, at one point, just a grieving woman who loved her husband enough to go against the Gods because of it. But I think time and constant fighting jaded and twisted her. Oz too- he's had to do things he's not proud of, made mistakes that blew up in his face, hurt people without meaning to. But time also changed him, and he's learning because of Oscar as well as teams RWBY and JNPR.

Ultimately, I don't think Oz is the zealot people think he is. He's not evil, and Salem isn't good or remotely sympathetic anymore. Salem doesn't understand Oz as much as she likes to think she does, but Oz understands her and not only does he hate it, but it scares him.

[bathroomtrapped]

What are the basic differences between saws original script and the outcome? Why did they not play those scenes?

theres a lot of superficial changes, like their ages and adams last name being denlon. honestly still not sure where faulkner-stanheight got confirmed as his last name!

a lot of the things that were cut had to do with adams character and im not entirely sure why it was cut. his reason for being there was because he was suicidal. jigsaw said something along the lines of "everyday youve wanted to die". he wanted to go to vet school and had an interaction with some cat in his apartment. theres a scene where his mother calls, saying his father isnt mad and that he should call them. he writes on a sticky note "call mom" then adds a "?"

he has an interaction with a shitty neighbor, begs god to become a better person

theres probably a few small details about him im forgetting bc its been a while since ive reread the screenplay but the common theme is that the saw movie cut out a MASSIVE amount of context for adams character.

im not entirely sure why, i think some scenes might have to do with cutting down on time (the cat scene would probably get cut for time before filming once they actually start working on the project) vs something that was cut to make the story tighter and change adams role in the story.

he tells lawrence that basically, be hid the photo because he "didnt know what he would do". aka he was scared that itd motivate lawrence to kill him more. not sure why this is cut because some people clearly did not pick up on that lol

basically everything we know about adam is only known to us because it has something to do with lawrence. we know it because lawrence needs to. its unfortunately bc i like adam enough to want to know more but it serves the story better. hes the audience. we know what we know bc adam knows it or learns it. hes the one behind the camera. hes a voyeur. hes literally nothing. he died forgotten by basically everyone and hes just BARELY there in the narrative bc hes just... nothing.

at the end of the day, he was just a pawn. hes not important to anyone but lawrence because this is his story. this is his test and were just the people chained up and forced to watch it play out. i imagine his backstory and personal information was cut for this reason.

during the editing process, there were scenes cut. i know the trap was supposed to be more elaborate originally. i think the cat scene was cut out to save time and the mom scene/motivation/history was cut to firmly center the narrative on lawrence

one change that fucking BAFFLES me is that at the end during the love scene, adam originally asks lawrence "am i going to be okay?". in the film its "are WE going to be okay?" umm im honestly not quite sure what series of thoughts propelled them to make such a gay film by accident, call the end the LOVE SCENE publicly, and then proceed to be shocked when people call them on it? leigh was shocked to see chainshipping fics back during the ff.net days (fun fact: the first ever chainshipping fanfic was published on ffnet called rebirth. its still up)

my best guess is that leigh wanted to push their "relationship" (whatever they think that is) further for more emotional pay off. most of the changes seem to pull their themes tighter. it ends up working in its favor. adam is lawrences test and his moral core or whatever, so they have a pretty instant connection. it was probably done to make lawrence suffer more! or maybe make it gayer and leigh is just doing a bit

theres also the lampshade song lol. some dumb shit leigh made up and cary refused to do, so they changed it to the weird little piggy thing instead. MINOR minor improvement

certain words were changed because cary just kinda... rolled with it. he adjusted the script a few times bc he rly liked lawrence for some reason. he still does. leigh just accepted it and let him do his thing

amanda was also amanda denlon in the screenplay im pretty sure

tapp was dunked on by john as he assassins creed-ed him in the throat for being a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! absolutely insane

the way adam finds out lawrence is a doctor is different, he talks about possibly being injected with rohypnol LOL

the heart was actually a clue leading to the word toilet written over his heart, under his shirt. the blood heart wasnt in the script LOL. i imagine cary didnt want to have toilet written on his bare chest for the film? a shame

theres more interactions with tapp, sing, lawrence, and brett (his lawyer) im assuming its what happened before they asked lawrence to sit and watch amandas testimony. they say his fingerprints were found at the scene, not a pen. i think either way its interesting because. wow! lawrences prints are in the system which means he has a record. the implications are kinda funny, it makes how baffled he is that tapp dare accuse him of such a thing! even more ironic. now we know that mark was involved in the police and planted the pen, so he probably just out his prints into the system as well

amanda works at lawrences hospital. not sure why this is cut? possibly bc shawnee was begged to join bc james had a big crush on her and she didnt even want to originally. she might notve wanted to do multiple scenes or something at the time before she decided on returning as amanda (for whatever reason, im not quite sure why she became so attached to the series after not joining as enthusiastically as cary did after watching the 2003 short)

amandas reason is also different. i think jigsaw literally hated depressed ppl so much in the script bc she was there for therapy or something LOL. not drugs. prob just cut to improve it

thats all i got. theres a lot of changes for logics sake related to the trap, wording changes for flow (im assuming), time constraints, and to streamline the themes and center it on lawrence

[lonelinessmademecrazy]

You said you've been writing down (or rather, typing up) whatever comes to your head when you first wake up. Would you be comfortable sharing some of the things you've written?

Sure, I see no harm in that. Some of the dates are a bit off due to me forgetting what days I had or had not accounted for.

Also, this will probably have a “read more” section bc this is LONG.

6/1/24

pasta would be better without the wait time. Why can’t it be packaged like udon?

6/2/24

No, I’m not paying for your tax write-off of a vacation

6/3/24

I’m not a monster. I’m not a creature. I’m not a god. I’m human. I’m normal. I’m perfectly normal.

6/6/24

Just like the coocoo bird effect,I killed my false parents. Dug my teeth into their flesh and tore and shred until there was nothing left. Only blood and bone shards.

6/7/24

cheese. not celery. CHEESE. Worst salsa de queso ever

6/9/24

I want chocolate

6/10/24

Feigning humanity only starves me further.

6/11/24

They worship the very thing that will kill them. They know it’ll kill them. Why do they expect appreciation from an old deity?

6/12/24

el conejo es muy delicioso

6/13/24

Tear, rip, shred, filét, slice, stab, scratch, do what I want. I’m so hungry and so angry.

6/15/24

Need to make friends. I’m so lonely

6/16/24

You’re a fucking liar. Go kill yourself.

Better yet, let me do it for you, pathetic waste of flesh.

6/17/24

I’m not a monster. I’d never eat that. I’d never do that. Nobody should worship me.

I’m just a normal human.

6/18/24

Kitty cat!! In car!! I want a pet kitty!

6/21/24

Those macarons were so fucking good. I should go get some more. Vanilla and pistachio

6/22/24

Beach

6/23/24

Water would be nice. It’s so hot

6:24/24

Mayonnaise is such a weird condiment

6/28/24

Cookies and cream flavored milkshakes are the best thing to grace the shelves of my fridge.

6/29/24

How much could a creature possibly need to eat? So many lives lost.

7/1/24

Sleep is for the weak

7/2/24

God, please let me sleep

7/3/24

Sleepy time tea

Check the mail

7/5/24

Cult. It’s a cult. They’re in fucking cult.

They worship the same thing that warned me about them

7/7/24

Don’t let them know

I know

I’m starving

7/9/24

Cake pops would sell so good on campus.

7/10/24

What do you mean you want a cheeseburger combo with no cheese. That’s just a hamburger combo.

No, a combo is just the burger and fries, you’re thinking of a meal. The meal has a drink with it.

7/11/24

I fucking hate fast food, oh my god

7/12/24

My thoughts get louder at night. Just when I think things are changing.

My thoughts get louder at night.

The insistent need to tear and rip and shred. I’d never, though.

I’m not a monster.

Right?

7/13/24

Shut up, you can make your own damn french fries.

7/14/24

I deserve a pay raise

7/15/24

That guy is not even real. Why does everyone think he’s stalking me?

7/18/24

It’s raining so much. I hate hurricane season

7/19/24

Can I PLEASE make it to work without driving through a literal flood??

7/20/24

Burger

Fries

Milkshake?? Eh, ice cream is better

7/21/24

Hunger. It’s all I feel. No matter how much I eat, I’m always hungry.

Maybe I’m not eating the right thing.

7/22/24

My teeth itch every time one of you talks. You’re all so annoying, I just wanna bite out your jugulars.

7/23/24

Bacon jerky

7/24/24

Something claws from deep within, begging for just a taste. Just a drop, a shred, a chunk, a bite.

I don’t want to eat that. That’s gross. But my brain tells me otherwise.

7/25/24

I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet

A pawn and a king

7/26/24

How many lives did they truly live? How many times did they all repeat that same, vicious cycle.

How lucky am I to be an outside viewer.

An observer

7/27/24

Kimchi jiggae and a big ass bottle of strawberry caplico

7/28/24

I want strawberry milk

7/29/24

He’s not the guardian. He’s the firebrand. That fucking liar. You’re just as bad as your captor.

8/1/24

Mmmm steamed egg

8/2/24

Vanilla ice cream

No, strawberry

[effervescentdragon]

Idk if you’ve answered this but I’ve stumbled upon your tumblr and I just realised your the one who wrote el amor del inframundo and I have to say it’s easily one of the best fics I’ve ever read. I’ve never been into au’s and I wasn’t into Charlos that much either until I read it and it just changed my whole perspective on them. I love that fic so much I have it open as a tab on safari, refreshing it every now and then in hopes that it gets updated (that’s how much I love it!!!) I guess my question is if you have plans on continuing it and if not could you possibly tell us a short little summery of what happens between them, I just desperately want to know what their first kiss is like🥺 (also I regularly think about the scene where they’re both high, god that was such a good scene)

Hellooooo i caught this in the mess that is my inbox! Hi, yes, i am the author of the mafia au and it makes me incredibly happy that you liked my fic that much! Thank you for all your kind words, this is the stuff we writers live for, because knowing people like sth i wrote just makes me wanna write more! 🥹🥰 so far the plan is to finish it sometime and somehow, and the stats on the next chapter are following

i have no idea how the story is going to go exactly, and im in a mini-block with my wips, but, i can share a scene from the next chapter :) as soon as the muses and brain allow, i'll work on it, bcs i have a story to tell here and i personally think it's a good one. So, excerpt from ch2 of el amor del inframundo under the cut, in which chess is a metaphor for many things :)

"Oh God, you're not playing chess with him, are you?" Mattia asked, chuckling and patting Carlos on the shoulder.

They were waiting for dinner to be served at the house of an associate, and Charles and Carlos were amusing themselves before they had to go and pretend they weren't bored out of their mind. They found a chess set in a room and were currently playing their third, winner-deciding game.

"I do," Carlos said, observing the board.

"You like to suffer, my friend," Mattia said, not moving away. "Charles likes to play, but he is not very good at it."

Carlos paused in the middle of reaching for his rook, and Charles bit back a smile. He’d seen Mattia when he caught sight of the two of them playing, and he felt a sliver of satisfaction at accurately predicting that he wouldn’t be able to stay away, eager to brag, as he always was.

"Ah, Mattia, don't deprive me of the only opponent who will still play with me," Charles said good-naturedly. Carlos raised his eyes to Charles, whose wide smile didn't show any dimples.

"Oh? You played with him?" Carlos asked, his voice even despite the turmoil behind his eyes.

"Yes," Mattia said, condescension clear in his voice. "He makes rash moves, otherwise he wouldn't lose so quickly. Probably would still lose as often."

"He loses to you," Carlos said more than asked. Charles wanted to kiss him for it, or suck his dick, anything really, to show him how fucking arousing he found Carlos' intelligence.

"Yes. Maybe you should play with me, or Antonio, and have a real challenge," Mattia said. Charles just kept smiling, and Mattia shook his head, then walked away.

Carlos played his move in silence, observing Charles.

"You played with Mattia?"

"Yes," Charles said, moving his queen. "And Antonio, and probably everyone in, ah, management."

"And you lost?"

"Yes," Charles said, tapping one of Carlos' white pawns he ate before on the table. "To all of them."

Carlos moved his pawn. Charles countered with his knight. Carlos narrowed his eyes. He reached for his queen, then reconsidered and moved his rook.

Charles grinned, and ate Carlos' rook with his queen.

"Check-mate," he said, grin wide and unrepentant, because he knew Carlos wouldn't have been able to see the trap Charles had set up for him before it was too late.

Carlos pushed the white king in front of him down just as Mattia passed them again, Giovinazzi on his heels. Just like a good dog should, Charles thought unkindly.

"I guess you're an even worse player than Charles, Carlos, if you're losing to him," he said, and both he and Giovinazzi laughed. Charles kept a good-natured smile on his face, chuckling a little.

"Yes," Carlos said, looking straight into Charles' eyes, his gaze clear and calculating and filled with understanding. "I guess I am."

Charles dimpled back at him.

"Another game?"

Carlos smiled back slowly, slyly, and nodded.

[ma1dita]

okok catching up on troubleverse WHEWW and i have the perffff song for them, paired with the lyrics verse-for-verse and me screaming shrilly LMAOOO.

but this song is sosososo perf, like everything abt it from the lyrics to the singer's erratically paced singing to the general unhinged vibes and. IT SHARES A NAME WITH THE ENTIRE SERIES TOO OMG-- 'partner in crime' by madilyn mei!! i haven't listened to my folk indie queen for a hot minute but i had to pull it out from the dusty archive of my skull for u 😗😗

When you're gone I feel alone again / The voices cannot hold my hand / They keep me company at very best / Distract me from my loneliness

insanity mention?? dionysus the god of mania?? HELLOOOO CAN THOU HEAR ME [rattling at the bars of containment]

Maybe I'm just an anomaly / Even my demons have their families / Truly something must be wrong with me / To need you as much as I do

smth must be wrong with trouble to need luke as much as she does and vice versa smth smth okay like. i think the whole thing abt him being trouble's ESA from buddy system is saying enough 😭😭

I was never meant to win / [... maniacal laughing] SHUT UP!

THE LAUGHING AND THE MUTED SHUT UP HERE JUST GETS ME. straight chills, ik it didnt happen but during love like a blister if trouble screamed at the other counselors out of rage and the campers heard it the way it sounded in the song UGH. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN. THEY DON'T EVER WIN BC LUKE HAS BEEN DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE OMFG.

Here's the reigns / Take ahold of me / Please don't let me go / You do the talking / Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed

BUDDY SYSTEM CODED when they're on the road trip bc the image just comes to mind instantly, like if they see questioning adults luke has to do the sweet talking bc trouble is lowkey a pro yapper and can't keep her mouth shut at all. AND 'here's the reigns take ahold of me' NO WORDS no words at all just vibes bc wdym. i just think that luke being vulnerable to trouble and talking abt his mom as if he were giving her the reigns to his personal life ermm.

Run for it / I'll keep em occupied for you / Cause I love you, I love you so

SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME. trouble stepping into the battle with ladon to save luke, 'run for it i'll keep [LADON] occupied cause i love you i love so' I AM SICK. SOMEONE MAKE ME SOME CONGEE UGHHH.

I'm 'bout to die / Yet the only thing I find i'm worried about is you / Something tells me you aren't coming / Guess that I'm truly doomed

i saw ur synopsis of asking for trouble like. he's dying and the only thing he can think abt. is trouble??? r u kidding me? and then trouble supposedly pleading his case with the olympians in the as above so below synopsis DONT TELL ME that trouble is gonna be too late for luke and so he dies thinking that she still hates him (based off what im assuming from the when the curtains close synopsis, 'all strings r cut' WDYM??)

I overhear your brain when it's close to mine / Oh, I know that we're not the same / My heart's on the line / I'm just a pawn in your game / Not your partner in crime

JO THEY R SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNERS IN CRIME HELLO. solipsism c'mere i just wanna talk bc drunk!trouble seeing luke from a different timeline and KNOWING HE'S REALLY THERE BUT IT ISNT HIM = 'i overhear your brain when it's close to mine / oh, i know that we're not the same' THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT WAVELENGTHS IN THE MOST LITERAL SENSE POSSIBLE WITH TIME in this essay i will--

You're slowly killing me / Taking your- (I was never meant to win)

luke to kronos, the titan is slowing killing him from the inside out the longer he's possessing luke. HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN UGH. i need to put maddie and u in affectionate jail bc ASDFGHJKL goodbye i am finished. troubleverse is sososoo evil, like this is srsly what everyone else feels when they read jubi bc if it is i am so sorry for everything.

to conclude jo, ily but i also am gobsmacked with my mouth hanging wide open and catching flies bc this whole thing is unbe-fucking-lieveable. the way u built their whole ass relationship from the ground up and swung a baseball bat into it like ok i need to take a business month to process this for reasons known and unknown, my bags r packed up at the airport, who cares abt my chem grade, it is sabbatical time WHEWW

THEOOOOO IM SCREAMING UNTIL MY HEAD EXPLODES THE SONG REC IS SO GOOD??? how tf did i miss that

i am so happy that you made the troubleverse part of your day it is an honor to have you connect the dots from your perspective and see how everything is playing out!! you in my brain ill make you congee BAHAH you've been the only one to put some of the dots together for the final arc (or at least voice it, thank you for being brave) and i will neither confirm nor deny but your analysis is pretty spot on for someone who binge read it today thank you so much!!

study for chem no rest for the weak >:( love youu

[cherubchoirs]

oh we're talking abt akira and yaldy connection? we're talking about them?? the way i see the whole thing is that yaldabaoth is just as trapped as everyone else in the system he impliments, and a part of him actually *did* want humanity to get better, to be better. and he put akira in place to be the one to do that. akechi was set up to be part of his system as well, though- even though yaldabaoth wants in some part to actually have humanity grow, he is also the manifestation of humanity's desire to stay the same, to face his judgement, and akechi fullfils that part of it. i do agree that the deal was offered purely out of friendship with akira, through their bond akira had become a companion rather than simply a pawn in his game, seeing which side would win, so it was a last attempt to give akira something he wanted and keep him under his wings

HELL YEA all such good takes and i agree!!! i (very messily) ramble for awhile about it so!!!

yaldabaoth's game in general is pretty interesting imo, especially when you consider what reasoning he could have for playing it. because as i see it, the only plausible motivation (that isn't just petty bs lol) is that he wanted, in some way, for humanity to become better. why else go through all of that? why not just take over directly if he could? it may have been to prove something to igor about the humans he believed in (petty) or perhaps it was a way to accumulate power. after all, the more the thieves disturb the public peace (ie, make people face reality) and the more shutdowns that serve to terrify them all grow yaldabaoth's power. but that plan doesn't exactly make sense because the thieves could have failed at any time and yaldabaoth would have executed his take over then. so i think, like you said, there must have been a part of him that wanted to see what igor saw.

but ultimately, he is fixed, he wants to be right and he wants for his system to prevail because again, he is public sentiment. so he rigs the game, the exact same way the structures in place rig society against change and growth. it's baked in, it's a function not a bug, and that's how yaldabaoth operates. but while the thieves failed to change society by and large, they had a profound effect on the individuals they helped, the ones directly touched by them. and yaldabaoth is moved the exact same way, individually, by akira. he offers him the deal as the ultimate end of the fool confidant, the last gift of their social link - and as much as it's framed as a trick...well, from what we see in the bad end, akira seems pretty pleased with the arrangement. we can argue why that might be (brainwashing, manipulation...an entire au about his decline and loss of humanity MAYBE) but we actually don't know, so all we have to go on is akira's seeming satisfaction. SO TO ME the offer is genuine by what canon presents. tbh i just think in general that the relationship between akira and yaldabaoth is a unique one that can be taken in many different ways, all of which have evidence to support them. it's of course possible that akira was nothing more than a pawn, that yaldabaoth had no true attachment to him, but i think it can also easily be read that there was a genuine link like all the other confidants.

(and bc i can't fit it in anywhere ELSE - also like you mentioned, i think he is trapped in many ways. he was made for a purpose, he was created to shoulder all the burden of humanity that they became too tired to carry themselves. it may be the am bias showing again, but i think yaldabaoth is angry with how he was created, that he may be a god but he was made only to work, only to take on all the suffering humans no longer wish to endure. so i think too he did want better - he even agrees with the thieves that there is good in humanity, but it was just never enough. just look at how he sits in the depths of mementos - locked under the floor, his hands chained to the ground and his head concealed by the form humans want of him. it's. sad tbh.)

[expens1ve-tvste]

i would run to you if i could. it would be so easy. you always came so easily - you used to come so easily to me. almost like second nature and that’s why it’s hard still bc even on my worst nights i have to fight to urge to not run over to u and scream your name from the streets like a fuckin lunatic. especially on my worst nights. like that night my best friend did me dirty, n would have told me “welllll eca quit wildin out you’re almost thirty”if i wasn’t so embarrassing enough i would have held a radio over my shoulder and plead to YOU. I never owned one but i would have pawned one right into my existence, how fucking ridiculous . i hate how my cross street has your face written all over it. you’re right above my favourite fucking bar. you’re fucking there when all the lights in the club turn on, and i’m reminded that sometimes you can’t always block out the chaos that goes on in your mind. and all the mistakes that i’ve made come to light. FUCK it would’ve been easier if you weren’t so kind. when i tell you you’d be proud i’m going to therapy, i don’t want you to be upset to hear i realize therapy never stopped any of that fucking noise that went on in my head, i still see red. the chaos went away when you came around- that’s not the fucking point though. i always fucking make it about me but it’s always been about you and i’m sorry i was a poo

it’s 2 am, sometimes 3 (if i’m lucky) and the lights turn on, then they turn off- and it’s everybody get the fuck out of the bar. i stumble to find my way across all the stupid bars within the “pump” and then i see us dancing that one night- fuck okay again forget it. that’s not the point. somehow i find my way out of it, only to see your lights are still on- and i’m wondering who’s lucky enough to see what lit up ur apartment - knowing damn well it was your smile. i’m pretty sure youre still being silly about pretty well anything you put ur mind to, gay enough to admit you’re still my very best view

I know we had our differences but fuck I wish things happened differently. i’m sorry and you’ll never see this and that’s probably better bc you’re finally moved on and i hope you’re happy now.

I hope your new girlfriend doesn’t only buy you flowers when she fucks up, i hope she buys you them for better reasons and I hope to god you know that’s how it was supposed to be- i hope you have the love you and i always cried about as children thinking it could’ve never happen for us

even tho it’s different now i still wish i could fix it all, but u know i’m still rooting for u

[congregamus]

Re: Election / Ethics / Isaac / Impossible CW

TL; DR: The kind of thinking which places the ethical onus for evil on "God" at all, let alone only, makes the Atonement ('theodicy') an unsolvable problem. And that works very well for people who need it to work (or, POV-depending, fail). That there are people for whom this is an advantage and people who do not resist this will also remain a problem so long as direct, rather than abstract, 'Atonement' is not locally ↔️ regionally ↔️ nationally ↔️ globally balanced as a combination legal-reconciliation issue.

TL-er; DR-er: I will not sacrifice you to an idea.

The thing that I realized about why it's OK (for me) to support Kamala Harris instead of hard-lining for 3rd party is that it's bc we cannot help anyone-anywhere if we become even more enslaved than we already are right now. And that is the intention of the right wing corporatists, who find DJT to be their dark avatar, willing pawn, and kompromat all in one convenient place.

I am sorry to those who think me a failure. It is disappointing to fail oneself in this way as I have; but what deeper failure is it to fail to try in even the most passive possible way to help keep people hyper locally where we are, where we can, out of embodied debt-prison-slavery, or an actual dictatorial police state?

To insist on a third party is not wrong. But it is also not right. Forgive me.

I have been in a long contest with 'theodicy' — the problem of evil — and the icon for this struggle (at least in the west) is most intensely expressed in the Akedah/Binding of Isaac (and of course, the Christian superimposition of the Crucifixion) which begs the Divine question: HOW COULD YOU?

In my conversation with the rabbi last Friday, I stumbled onto my own kind of goyish midrash in providing the suddenly-needed, drive-thru level reduction of Kant, who says that Abraham, in failing to refuse, failed ethically. Kant's POV is enlightenment-era rationality: a critique of ethic; secular-rational. My POV is postmodern mysticism: a distress of metaphor; sacred-ir/rational (and more likely to apologize for Kierkegaard, though I do not).

I said that Abraham's failure was not ethical, but relational. We are told that Abraham is in such close relationship with God that they argue, but when God makes this confusing demand, Abraham can find no resistance? He can argue for the lives of strangers (cf., actual SODOM), but when it comes to his child, he is silent? (At this, my rabbi friend nodded and confirmed that the sages also express that this is difficult to reconcile.)

But my deep engagement with the text is here. Avram knew God. Knew the depths, and failed to place a boundary.

Which is to say that the emphasis on God's morality (which we cannot know) is a trap of thinking, because it excuses Abraham, who, as a human, we do know.

And we humans know well enough that to kill a child is to kill one's own soul. In failing himself, Abraham also failed God, who needed Abraham to resist. (Yes, I know. I still said it.)

That Isaac was a child of promise has everything to do with Jewish identity and less than nothing to do with the problem of evil in the world. This also discounts the salvific attributes of the Crucifixion, which continues to beg the Divine question: HOW COULD YOU?Which, ultimately, can only be answered insofar as we can answer for ourselves.

[leynaeithnea]

Literally taking notes as I read your reply so I can remember everything I want to say to you akdmmsan ( also my fingers also hurt from refreshing Tumblr, waiting for your reply aaah)

First of all sorry for making you type so much but actually I'm not that sorry bc I'm having the time of my life talking to you, also I really like your takes and seeing your perspective on stuff (I will now proceed to tell you what I think about what you said , I swear I am sorry but I can't help it, it's the voiceeees)

2. I never stopped to think about the implications of the others joining in the song bc they are seeing Odysseus getting closer to the wall and on the brink of doing something so unforgivable that they have to wonder, should we consider him a monster? Where do we draw the line ? Kskdkd good shit

3. I 100% agree about full speed ahead, I LOVE IT and sing it to myself all the time, 4.we do need more polities , and I also adore the "stay back" part and whenever I sing it I do this silly thing where I pretend to have a sword and I use it to threaten the lotus eaters that are surrounding me ( is it silly? Yes. Do I have the time of my life being this silly? Also yes ). And I totally understand the Ody appreciation because the tragedy in his story and the way he tries to overcome all the obstacles only to realize he is a pawn of the gods anyway jajsnsnsnnjakam and how all this fighting and struggling changed him so much he became unrecognizable but somehow at the core he's still the same aaaahh 6. Agree on anything and everything you say at this point bc "there's been a misunderstanding" scratches my brain so good. 7. I'm so happy for you I wish I could pick up even half of the motifs and stuff Jay always talks about, after his explanations I'm always like "mmmh yes yes I get it (<- does NOTget it for the life of her )" 8. Hands down my favorite 10/10, I am also not 100% sold on the new version bc I am just so used to the old one but I like a lot how Athena says "don't "in this one , she feels more surprised (?),like she didn't think she HAD to warn him not to do smth this reckless, don't know how to explain it lol. AND the silence that screams "oooh you really fucked up" after Odysseus revelas his name and address is UNMATCHED , chills every time. Also the fact that in the whole musical this is the first time we hear his name is just amazing. Keeps me up at night 9.again , seeing your take on things is so good !! In this song Athena is confused by humans and how they process their emotions?? Akksks how did I not see it?? 11. I adore this one but now it's so hard to listen to it and not be haunted by mutiny

Sorry again for dumping all of this here lol, also if you want I would adore a part two for the other sagas but literally no pressure :))

BY THE GODS THANK YOUUUU OMxjdkdksks mfjfjdjsFUSJDS THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DONT APOLOGIZE FOR INFO DUMPING I LOVE IT

AND YES part 2 is to come, I stopped at luck runs out yesterday because Keep your friends close has soooo many parts that I love, its one of my favorites

Also yesss Luck Runs Out really hits different now, loveeee how it sets up mutinity in the motifs so good okay I might only finish Ocean Saga in this one bc SO MUCH TO SAY but i would be honored to do this maybe saga by saga with some asks or smth idk rjsjsjs

Ok

12. Keep friends Close

"Great wind god aelus" kicks just the right way again

"Hahahaha i am the wind" Omg the melody and music in this song is so gooood so floaty and airy its big joy, aelus playfulness and the whole first part of the song is so goooodd ALSO WINIOKS "sometimes killing is a must" - "what??"

And then it shifts to the crew where i love the voice acting of the whole scene up until "we'll try" AND THEN my favorite part: Odysseus tries to stay awake

For 9 days Ive sayed wide awake, trying to make it home with no storm or tidal wave, I remain unapposed the bag is still closed and Im getting closer to youuu (penelope) i cant wait to make some new memories (telemachus) time for me to be the father i never was (just keep your eyes open) why are my eyes and my heart and soul so heavy? (Just keep your eyes open) I keep on trying to embrage you both why wont you let me?? (Just keep your eyes open) so much has changed but im the same YES IM THE SAMMEEE (just keep your eyes open) -> FIRST TIME WE HEAR TELEMACHUS BTW IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM

ALSO THEY ALMOST REACHED ITHIKA IF EURY HADNT OPENED THE BAG---- THEY WERE WITHIN SIGHT, HIS MOM COULDVE SEEN THE SHIPS

So, yeah this whole part? So good, and then penelope wakes him and he wakes up to the storm and the "NooOOooooO" is so niceee ans THEN "ODYSSEUS OF ITHICA, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" WE LOVE POSEIDON HIS VOICEEEE

13. Ruthlessness

Danger motif (ehehe) the -sei-don in the chant in the beginning I think, madbe the po-sei im not sure

STEVENS GRIT IN HIS VOICE ITS SO GOOD like either mortius or casper said it but he literally sounds like he just gurgled salt water fr, And hes SO SASSY

"it isnt very often that i get pissed of" ....i feel like you dont have s very realistic selfimage Poseidon

"Ive been so gracious" hits right too, so good

"The cyclops youve maee blind, is mine" - No

Love how the theme of Ruthnessless finially gets spoken out directly and literally thrown into his face I ALSO LOVE HOW EVERY ANIMATOR PORTRAYS THIS SCENE AS POSEIDON BEATING UP ODYSSEUS LIKE GUDJDKSKSKSJSJ hell yes anyway

"You are the worst kind of good cause youre not even great" THE music in this moment, the drop and the how it picks up again fhsjdjskaja

Also not Ody not even apologizing smh smh

"If you jusr killed my son, But NooOooouu" SASSY SEIDON gjdjfjwj hes so pissed he didnt kill polyphemus :[ (jkjkjkrks)

Then the whole part with

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OUR- CAPITAIN

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OUR- CAPITAIN

(Also those lines asding up to 11, for the 11 ships ody looses there oml)

I love "the line between naivetë and hopefullness is almost invisible" its such a cool quote

And then the pause into "Die."

THE CALL BACK TO "when does a ripple become a tidal wave" of jusr a man Omg I LOVE just a man call backs and the disbelieve and horror in "what have you done" and Poseidons calm response, and then THE WINDBAG and "Remember Me" omggrttt yes def two of th3 best songs in the musical so far

Edit:

OH AND I FORGOT THE ACTING?? THE SWORD? YES PLS, i acted out the whole musical so far on a whim with a friend a few days ago and it was the best things in my life fr, acting for the win i also tend to act these things out by myself ghjjdg

Edit 2: Circe saga next!

[timechaser]

i let this thought go tonight and it will never see the light of the moon ever again so here goes every thought in my mind abt the poppy war trilogy. mind you, a lot of this is just nonsensical dabble and incoherent babbling bc i cant ever form coherent thoughts but whatever.

id pay big money and wage a thousand wars to go back in time and yank every material object out of my hand and out of my reach to ensure that i never even wondered abt the trilogy's existence. it's not that i regret reading them because they sucked--no, far from it. it's not that i led myself blind and didnt take the extra precautions to make sure that i was in the right mindset to read them. i knew what i was going into, what ch21 was withholding, i knew how graphic and how heavy they would be to read. i retreated to my room and poured a stupid amount of hours staring at a screen, at a bunch of words, and feeling such bizarre emotions.

that being said, i love runin. i love how bold she was and how persistent she was despite having her bones kicked inwards from quite literally every person she has let into her life. i love how she was a proper morally grey character, a heroine led astray and betrayed by her very own thoughts. i love her bc even though she was the anthropomorphic personification of a god, she was still human. at the end of the day, what killed her wasnt a higher being, it was the self. that part of her arc cemented her place in my top list of female book leads. i love rin because she was human through and through, all the sides of it, she was everything. reading her was a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one because she is proof of how dangerous the mind can be to itself, to how dangerous humanity is to itself. and sometimes id wish i could reach into their world and pull her back to ground bc of her recklessness. i love and hate rin at the same time, never one more than the other.

i love kitay even more. never once have i faulted him, he knew what was best, a moral compass for readers really. especially after primarily reading from rin's violent and often irrational perspective, it was relieving to have a voice of reason. theres not much i can say abt him other than the fact that he is my favourite out of the trio, id see it through no matter what. yes i wish he'd said no to bonding himself to rin, to put himself on a compromise, but at the same time i'm glad that he did. kept rin grounded, gave her a sense of purpose other than vengeance, instilled her a sense of duty and obligation--to survive, not only for herself but for him as well. will always defend him no matter what, this boy is clean and he is faultless.

nezha nezha nezha. i tried for three books (and tdf) to like him, truly, but even after all those pages i still dont know how to feel about him. he was insufferable in the first book, honourable for most of the second, and downright pathetic in the third. but if i say that i hate nezha then id have to say that i hate rin as well. they were both children of war, born under humiliating circumstances and forced to take the wager of compromise, they share the same faults. its not fair of me to defend one and leave the other open, they forced the ugliness out of each other. they were tragic. i saw his betrayal from kilometres away, but anticipation did not make forgiveness easier. but i know what it feels like to be brought up as a pawn for ur own family's benefit, to be subjected to so much responsibility when you barely know the world and its wonders, feels like a push to the edge. i cant blame him for that.

in short, im devastated. ive had my tears ricochet on loop since i started the first book. i am but a hollow shell of the person i was before this book. it has altered my life (/hj) and i cant go a minute of my day without thinking abt it. it's incredibly tragic, it's flawed in its own ways but it is also three incredible pieces of literature. rfk did well, im glad i read it while at the same time hate myself for reading the entirety of the trilogy in the span of 36hrs. i dont think its once u can read almost immediately, u need to pace yourself. 5 golden stars from me nonetheless.

[harkingspot]

IJ PREVIEW THOUGHTS (1)

IJ PREVIEW DKJADLKSADLK OH MY GOD- OKAY HERE’S THE FIRST THING THAT IMMEDIATELY CAME INTO MY MIND:

jr is definitely not in shadow prison and is highly likely a robe member

we get a glimpse of rand as the company’s CEO and straight off the bat- its telling that he doesnt have good relationships with the robe. in fact he INSISTS that the operate on their own bc,, well PSH I DONT FUCKIN KNOW??? this tells me that, if rand is “retaliating” against the robes then the robes most definitely have their own pawn which i am 100% sure is jr. NOT ONLY IS IT LIKELY,, ITLL ALSO MAKE FOR A GREAT STORYLINE?? just imagine the potential it has- exploring rand and jr’s strained relationship. figuring out how the robes are going to play a major role in part 2. just everyone trying to k word rand in general??? IM SO PUMPED. THAT TEASER THEY GAVE US IS ALREADY SAYING A LOT AND IM SUPER EXCITED FOR LATER THIS YEAR AAAAAA

its also a terrifying thought actually, like jr was a cheeky boss sure- defo capitalist pig yada yada but rand??? EUGH ILL SHUT MY MOUTH, I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABT HIM BUT ILL SAVE IT FOR A DIFF POST

[stevethehairington]

Hey ur in ur Steve feels so Im gonna share an angsty Steve hc I had yesterday: The reason Steve's parents are so distant is because Steve is the result of an affair his mother was having with someone else. His father was also having an affair but Mrs. Harrington got pregnant.

They decided to stay together and keep Steve to save face since keeping an image of being family-friendly is integral to Mr. Harrington's business. Both of Steve's parents tolerate him to maintain their status but truthfully they really don't like him.

Steve had no idea that Mr. Harrington wasn't his real father until he saw his birth certificate for the first time at age 16 while applying for his drivers license.

He spends years after that wondering why nobody ever seems to want him. His parents. His birth father. Carol. Tommy. Nancy. Why isn't he wanted?

hi!! omg i am SO sorry it took me so long to reply to this!! i saw it come in like right as i was heading to bed for the night, and then i kept telling myself oh i'll respond when i get home from work and then i would totally forget skfljs SORRY.

BUT!

OH GOD THAT IS SO ANGSTY!!! and SO HEARTBREAKING.

like, on the one hand i actually think steve would be almost a little relieved to know that he isn't actually related to his father, yknow? bc like one of his biggest fears, one of his worst nightmares is that he turns into his father. that he ends up being exactly like him. it terrifies him. and i think knowing that, genetically, they are not the same would serve as some sort of small comfort to him. like, it would almost make him feel like he has a better chance of not turning out like him bc like it's not in his dna, yknow? he would feel like he has more control over that.

but the on the other hand, god, finding out that his father isn't actually his father would be devastating too? bc like. that was his father. like they may not have had a great relationship and steve may not have liked him all the time, but i do think that steve did love him to a degree. like i dont think it would have all been bad. there might have been moments of his childhood with his dad that were nice. so finding out that those were built on a lie just crushes him. that he doesnt even get to keep the few good moments he has without them being completely ruined.

and like, just knowing that his whole life has been constructed around this lie? that he was just a pawn in his parents' weird, fucked up relationship drama and their perfect family charade. that they only kept him around to keep that up. ooohhhhh that would hurt.

and then oh GOD, nancy telling him that it's all bullshit, that he's bullshit, that they're bullshit, ohhhh, that would cut deep oh my god, it would cut so deep. fuck.

why isn't he wanted? 😭😭😭😭😭

[mikrowrites]

andromeda

(vignettes cut from cottages of constellations; can be read as a one-shot)

c!wilbur x reader

summary: a series of memories from y/n’s perspective; the war, the death, the stars, the secret, and the meeting.

warnings: fluff, angst, violence, war themes, bad mental health situations, death, language, manipulation

a/n: this is basically a bunch of scrapped ideas from cottages of constellations that i shoved together bc i already had them written and have been hitting a writer’s block with pt 3. the only part of this you should regard as “canon” is the syndicate vignette, that will be in pt 3. enjoy!!

Y/n and Wilbur kept many secrets.

That was not something unknown by any, not a surprise to some. The two seemed to have words unspoken, existing between the glance of an eye or a brush of a hand, a nod of a head and a ever so soft sigh. Y/n and Wilbur kept many secrets to themselves and themselves only.

The cottage was one. A secret kept along a peaceful riverbank, until the price of TNT seemed higher than that forgotten paradise. There were some other secrets too. Some inconsequential, some almost burdening.

Y/n and Wilbur kept a secret they chose to not share with anyone. A secret that would be for the best if left unsaid.

But the price of freedom would prove higher and more demanding. The price for a tall brunette man to whisper the words into an enemy’s ear, for the enemy to relay it to someone who was once deemed an old friend.

The moment Schlatt spoke the secret out loud to Y/n with threatening intent, everything came crashing to the ground.

It was a secret Schlatt would die with.

—

The War…

Y/n arrived as the sun rose at dawn.

Wilbur was there to meet her, his uniform jacket unbuttoned messily and his cravat askew. As she approached him closer he smiled softly, but the smile was tired, aching, the light in his eyes dimmed by the bags beneath them.

What was the saying, “winning is easy, governing is harder”?

Y/n feared both feats were insurmountably difficult.

“Hello, love.” Wilbur sighed, striding the distance of Y/n’s approach and pulling her into his arms, holding her like a lifeline.

“Hey Wil, it’s okay, I’m here.” Y/n reassured.

He pulled away with a less tight smile, wrapping his fingers around her own, pulling her towards the majestic walls.

“Y/n L/n, welcome to L’manburg.”

And L’manburg was small, and undeveloped, and nothing quite impressive really. But it was her lover’s nation, and to Y/n it looked like a spectacle of heaven. “It’s wonderful.”

Wilbur led her into the camaravan, where battle plans and declarations had been hung and placed about, with an occasional empty bottle or a misplaced piece of weaponry.

Y/n had fought in wars before, in another life, far from this server. She had played the part of diplomat, of ally, of enemy. It was all a language familiar to her like breathing, and she suspected Wilbur was well aware, why else would he write begging her to join the front lines?

She hummed in thought, running her hands over a tabletop. “When’s the next battle, then?”

“Tomorrow.” Wilbur replied simply.

Y/n nodded. “Okay. Where do we start?”

Wilbur smiled once more.

—

The Death…

Y/n struggled against Quackity’s hold, screaming her throat raw. “YOU KILLED HIM!”

Smoke from the firework barrage still lingered on the execution box, Schlatt turning from his podium to Y/n. He smirked. “Y/n, my dear, he was a traitor. You know what happens to traitors.”

Y/n spat at his feet, the man laughing. “That’s cute. Remember Y/n, I hold all the cards in my hands. You don’t want to step out of line, remember? Who knows what secrets could get spilled.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Y/n glared, her eyes like fire as the two stood off against each other on the podium under Manberg’s watching eyes. “Because I am going to fucking kill you before you even think about it.”

Schlatt laughed loudly again, facing the crowd. “Do you hear that, folks? Miss Y/n is going to kill me!” He lowered his voice, leaning so he was face to face with her. “That’s treason, my friends.”

Y/n hardened her eyes, as Quackity let her arms go. She stepped forwards, her hand on the hilt of her sheathed sword. Everything was quiet, not the crowd’s jabs or cries were heard by her, not even Niki’s protests to spare her best friend.

Schlatt smiled, unsheathing his own sword as Y/n stood her ground, preparing to produce her own in hopes of taking down the tyrannical man once and for all.

“These were not the ideals of L’manberg.” Y/n shouted so the audience could hear her. “And Manberg should be no different. And I’m getting really fucking tired of you hurting everyone and everything I love. So yeah, I’m a traitor, because I value people over a country.”

“People you’d be willing to lose a life for?” Schlatt jeered.

“Time and time again, yes.” She verified.

Schlatt shook his head in amusement. “Y/n, the patron saint of L’manberg. You’ll fall as easily as any man.”

Y/n smirked, drawing her own sword. “Good thing I’m not a man then, yes?”

“STOP! Stop!”

The two adversaries’ heads whipped over, catching the glimpse of a tall brunette in a brown trench coat walking down the aisle of seats, hands out in a preventative gesture. “Stop.”

“Wil…?” The man who left her behind. The man who promised safety. The man who most importantly, loves her. The former President, to protect his former First Lady.

Schlatt’s sword ran through Y/n’s body. Wilbur screamed.

The girl gasped, grasping Schlatt’s shoulder’s with tight fingers, looking at him in shock. He had gotten the upper hand. Y/n had never lost a duel, yet this one was over before it had even started because she did the one thing she had been trained to never do in battle.

Y/n found distraction in a lover.

Wilbur would always be her hubris.

Schlatt leaned over with booze-tainted breath to whisper in her ear. “Your secret is safe with me.”

He then ripped the sword out of her, and everything went black. The last thing Y/n heard before waking up laying in the soft grass of a forest was the sound of Wilbur shouting her name.

Y/n was killed by JSchlatt

—

The Stars…

Long ago, in a world different from where she was now, Y/n’s mother had taught her every constellation strewn across the night sky. The young girl would marvel at her mother, eyes shining with curiosity and awe as the soft-spoken woman would point to each cluster of stars.

Life was simple then, before war after war Y/n was forced to fight and win. Before aching loss and hurt.

Y/n laid on the angled roof of Philza’s house, her lips parted slightly as her eyes traced designs of warriors and beasts and lovers. Her breath fogged into the night sky, the girl indifferent to the cold surrounding her.

“Kid, what’re ya doin’?”

She flicked her eyes down to where Technoblade stood beneath her, staring up at her form with disinterest but yet a glint of confusion or curiosity.

Y/n smirked, her eyes traveling back up to the sky. “Chasing constellations.”

Technoblade definitely had the right idea to be a tint worried at the sight of Y/n on a roof, staring off into nothing. It had been a week and a half since they had both blown up New L’manberg, and her mind was undoubtedly conflicted. Techno supposed if he were in the same situation, he’d feel the same perhaps. But now (though he’d never show it) he was just concerned of the well-being of his old friend.

So Technoblade was immensely surprised when Y/n patted a spot on the roof next to her and said: “cmon”.

The blood god was silent and still for a moment before pulling out his trident, using it to launch himself up and land gracefully onto the roof next to her. The girl didn’t flinch a bit, just turned back to the night sky.

Y/n looked tired, Techno noticed, but yet relieved. He hadn’t seen her this relaxed since their last war fought together away from this server, where she had spoken of a kindhearted brunette she was running away with after the battle’s conclusion.

Technoblade sat next to her, the girl sighing. “No more wars, Techno. I’ve fought my last one. I’m tired of being a pawn in someone’s game, of breaking myself for others.” Y/n huffed out a laugh. “I think I might try that retirement plan.”

“Retirement is overrated.” Technoblade groaned. “So if I made you an offer, you’d refuse?”

Y/n shrugged, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her kneecaps. “Depends on the offer. I’m pretty done being taken advantage of.”

Techno turned to look at her. “All these years and you don’t trust the proof I wouldn’t.”

“Can’t blame a girl for having trust issues.” She grumbled. “What’s the offer?”

“I’m putting together a group of people with common ideals. Anarchy, we’d be there to abolish these kingdoms’ governments before they can cause more death and destruction, cause more Wilburs.” Techno explained, the girl turning to him at the sound of her ex-lover’s name. “We’re called the Syndicate.”

Y/n murmured the name to herself, furrowing her eyebrows. “Who’s we?”

“Philza and I. Zephyrus and Prostileus. And, potentially, you.” He stated. “Codenames.”

She turned back to the stars, silent for a few minutes. Technoblade patiently sat in the quiet, letting the girl mull over her thoughts. It had been about five minutes when he spoke up. “So? What’ll it be?”

Y/n pursed her lips, before parting them with a soft exhale. “Andromeda… call me Andromeda.”

Technoblade smiled at his old comrade in battle, now considered an ally and friend.

“Welcome to the Syndicate, Andromeda.”

—

The Secret…

Y/n wasn’t sure how long she had sat in the makeshift cell. Had it been days? Weeks? She didn’t know. All she knew was locked away to stand trial for “aiding fugitives in escaping”.

Her thoughts drifted to Wilbur, as they usually did in moments like these, where she fought desperately to remember the sound of his laughter or his loving assurances. Y/n hoped he and Tommy were safe, and she knew they were smart so they would be.

But she feared for Fundy as well. They had spoken on the night he announced his campaign for president, their hushed voices behind the podium as the rest of the server were asleep.

Y/n met the boy in the shadows of the podium, Fundy looking at her for some kind of reaction. Would she shout in anger? Cry in sadness? Running against his father was a betrayal, he should be reprimanded by the closest thing to a mother he had.

Instead, she smiled, and hugged him.

Fundy tensed in surprise before wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder as his hands clutched the back of her jacket.

“You know I have to support and stand by your father,” she started, softly rubbing small circles into Fundy’s back. “but it will never overshadow how proud I am of you.”

“Thank you, mama.” He sighed out, Y/n smiling kindly.

“You are my pride and you are my joy, Fundy. There’s nothing you could do that could make me love you less. Don’t forget that, okay?” Y/n asked.

Fundy nodded his head against his mother figure’s shoulder, still embracing her.

He missed the tears in her eyes as she bit her lip to keep her walls up. Indulging in this moment wasn’t something she was deserving of, and she knew that.

She had chosen to forego this path, it would be unfair of her to try and act as though she hadn’t changed everything.

The door to empty room creaked open, Y/n looking up to meet the eyes of a man she had once thought of as an old friend, but now some who repulsed her more than anything on this server. The man smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Y/n. Long time, no see.”

“Schlatt.” The name sounded like venom on her tongue, Y/n glaring at the man with dark eyes.

“How are you, hm?” Schlatt pulled a chair over for him to sit on, Y/n scoffing in disbelief.

“I don’t know Schlatt, you tell me. What the fuck is wrong with you, you were our friend!” She shouted.

Schlatt sat back in his hair. “I’m no one’s friend here. I’m a president here to run this country.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall, the man smirking.

“I want you to join me.”

That made the girl start to laugh, shaking her head. “You are something else, Schlatt.”

“I’m serious, I want you to join me and Manberg.” Schlatt deadpanned.

“Fuck off.” was Y/n’s reply.

Schlatt sighed, standing from where he sat, and paced to another side of the room. “Tell me, does your little lover boy have an infatuation with TNT?”

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. “Not that I’m aware, and if I was I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Fair enough.” Schlatt said, his footsteps clacking against stone as he further paced. “Well, he recently made some deals with the devil and came into possession of a lot of fucking TNT. You wanna know what he traded for that much power? Secrets.”

She stiffened, eyeing Schlatt warily, her voice barely above a whisper. “Secrets?”

Schlatt hummed, grinning. “Oh yeah. Loads of ‘em. I’m a chronic eavesdropper, so I had to get the scoop. And you’ll never guess what I heard.”

Y/n stood slowly, like an animal bracing for a fight, her fists shaking. She uttered the man’s name in warning, Schlatt stopping and turning to her with a wicked grin.

“You have a child.”

It felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, Y/n momentarily forgetting how to breathe. Her mouth felt dry, her body numb. Schlatt laughed, knowing he had her right where he wanted her.

“Fundy’s actually your son! Biologically and everything! And you never told him, you just left!” Schlatt exclaimed.

Y/n burst forwards, slamming Schlatt against the wall and lodging her forearm across his throat. She spoke with a low, dangerous voice. “I was young. I was stupid. And I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I couldn’t be the mother he needed.”

“So you left. And then you come back and you play the part of his mother, while the poor boy thinks your lover fucked a fish? That’s fucked up, Y/n.” He chuckled lowly.

Y/n pursed her lips, glaring into Schlatt’s eyes. “What do you want?”

Schlatt slowly removed Y/n’s forearm from his throat. “I want you to join me as one of my officials. I want you to betray Wilbur and Tommy. And if you don’t…”

“… I tell Fundy your big secret… and then I personally kill him until he’s dead.”

Y/n felt completely and absolutely defeated. She had never let someone have the upper hand on her. Not like this. She remained distraughtly silent, Schlatt nodding Ashe received his answer.

He reached into his pocket, throwing her comm device onto the floor. “Lover boy’s been trying to call you for weeks. You should call him back one last time and tell him to never call again. You know what’s at stake.” Schlatt then turned and walked towards the door. “I’ll have a fine pressed suit for you tomorrow morning and a more comfortable room, then the real work begins. Goodnight, Y/n.”

And he was gone.

Y/n fell to her knees, her body shaking with fear and guilt. Why did she have to be so stupid why did she have to create such deep-sewn weaknesses, why did she leave her son?

She reached for the comms device, her trembling fingers clicking a button as she spoke out in a terrified whisper. “Wilbur?”

—

The meeting…

Y/n hated parties with a passion she could not fathom. The celebration of another war won, a country saved. She was just a wandering soldier, moving from one battle to the next, finding celebration a little tone-deaf.

But nonetheless she stood in the banquet hall, her sash of medals and patches detailing her great accomplishments hung on her frame, with the world’s most uncomfortable dress covering her. Technoblade had told Y/n to liven up, drink and dance a little, though what a fucking hypocrite because he didn’t show up.

Y/n sipped her champagne, leaning against the bar top, a bored expression laid across her face as she traced circles into the wood with her finger. She didn’t register the boy standing next to her, eying her with curiosity before he spoke up. “One vodka neat, please.”

She finally indulged to meet his gaze, the tall brunette smiling and offering his hand. “Wilbur Soot.”

Y/n knocked back the rest of her champagne, before shaking his hand. “Y/n L/n.”

“You seem bored, Y/n L/n.” Wilbur observed.

She scoffed. “Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“So I can tell.” He quipped, Y/n beginning to question the audacity of this kid. But he just smiled widely, pulling a stool and sitting next to her.

“Look, I don’t know what you want, but if it’s getting in my pants tonight it’s definitely not happening.” Y/n bluntly responded.

“Woah there! Take me out to dinner before we discuss that.” Wilbur defended, retrieving his drink from the bartender.

Y/n couldn’t even tell if the man was joking, but she rolled her eyes anyways. He was silent, she could tell he was trying to size her up. Figure out what made her brain tick, how to read her.

Must be frustrating for him to know he can’t.

She sighed, pulling away from the bar top, smoothing out her despised dress. “Well, thanks for the chat Wilbur, but I’d best be going.”

“Of course. Have a good night, Y/n.” Wilbur raised his drink and tipped it towards her in a kind of toasting or saluting gesture. She was a high ranked militia official anyways.

Y/n nodded and walked away, Wilbur watching her as she left. What she didn’t know, was he could read her like an open book. He saw her pain, her guilt, her stone disposition. But he saw her kindness, her generosity, her beauty. Wilbur was intoxicated by the mere presence of her, and her mystery.

Wilbur just had a gut feeling they’d cross paths again. And when they did, maybe in a space she was more comfortable than the loud and cheering party, maybe he’d offer her a drink, or even a dance. The boy slammed his drink on the table before standing, and rushing across the room.

Why wait when you know?

Y/n felt a gentle hand on her wrist, the girl turning to see Wilbur. She raised an eyebrow in question as he released his soft grip, and held his palm flat out in front of her. “May I have this dance.”

She had seen years of pretty boys offering her drinks and dances and the world. Each disappointed, each never following through. But Y/n looked up at Wilbur, and she could see the world in his brown eyes, she could see hope and chivalry and mirth. She pursed her lips, the boy seeming to deflate at her monotone and silent response.

Y/n took his hand, to the boy’s surprise. “One dance. That’s all.”

They danced all night. And laughed all night, more than Y/n had in years.

Y/n had never felt more alive than the night she met Wilbur Soot.

[spine-buster]

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | one

A/N: Here’s the beginning of my new mini-series!  I hope you all enjoy it.  It will definitely be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared!  There will be five parts!

SUPPORT MY WRITING HERE: https://ko-fi.com/spine_buster

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

                                                                   *     *     *     *     *

Brock Boeser felt like he was at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, with everybody around the circle introducing themselves and their similar predicaments.  The group was in a big meeting room at the local community centre, and when he walked in, he saw a group of dads playing basketball in the gym.  He sort of wanted to join them instead of being here, in this room, with all these people that he didn’t know talking about what they were going to talk about, but he’d done this back in Minnesota, at his mother’s behest with his siblings, and he was going to do it here, too, in Vancouver, to make her happy and ease her mind and to make sure that he was easing his own mind.  

“Um, hello everyone.  My name is Brock Boeser.  I’m from Minnesota, but I’m living in Vancouver.  And um, I’m here with you all because my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Hello Brock,” everyone smiled at him, and he smiled and nodded back.

“So it was your dad that was diagnosed,” the leader, a kind, older woman named Esther who had greeted him at the door and stuck with him until everybody sat down, egged on a conversation.  He knew she was doing it because he was new; everybody in this room probably already knew each other.  A part of him actually wondered if anybody knew who he was.  “When?”

“Um, he—he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2010,” Brock revealed, stuttering it out.  He knew he’d have to be open at these things – open so people could empathize with him, open so he could empathize with others – but it was still tough for him to do so.  “But he—it’s—it’s not just Parkinson’s.  Two years after he was diagnosed, he was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury.  In 2017, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He beat it but then in June it returned to his liver and chest.  In July, he had a heart attack and his heart stopped beating for 15 minutes.  I was with him and—I—it’s—it’s a lot, as you can imagine,” he tried not to start crying right then and there.  Imagine that – first meeting with a Parkinson’s Society of BC support group and he’d bawl like a baby.

“Goodness me, Brock,” Esther said.  “He has support at home?”

“Um, well, money isn’t an issue now, but when I was growing up my mom worked three jobs to make sure we were all taken care of,” he revealed.  “I’d pitch in too wherever I could, obviously.”

“But it’s been tough for a number of years.”

Brock paused.  It had been tough for a number of years.  It had been really tough for a number of years.  He nodded his head.  “Yes ma’am.  I try to take it day by day.”

Esther nodded as well.  “I don’t know if you pray, Brock, but I know a couple of members around the circle do, and, well – you’ll be kept in all our prayers.”

Brock saw a few people nod their head.  Another older woman, probably his mom’s age, clutching a rosary; a Sikh man dressed in a casual suit; a younger woman, probably in her thirties, with short blonde hair.  He appreciated the sentiment.  He knew that people took prayer very seriously – that people suffering took prayer very seriously.  It was, realistically, one of the kindest things somebody could ever say to you: “I’m praying for you.”  “Thank you very much,” he said, nodding his head once.

***

There was an arrangement of cookies at the end of the meeting.  Even after the 90 minutes of everybody talking about their experiences and emotions, they apparently liked to stick around afterwards as well just to mingle.  It didn’t all have to be doom and gloom, he thought.  It didn’t all have to be about Parkinson’s or about sick people or losing your loved ones all the time.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about the news.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about sports.  The weather.  Anything.  Anything to make a connection with someone beyond something so tragic.  

After stuffing an entire Fudge-O cookie into his mouth, he looked up to see a young woman staring at him, holding her trenchcoat in her arms.  She was smiling to let him know she was friendly.  He was embarrassed because he knew she just saw him stuff an entire Fudge-O into his mouth.  “Hi,” he said, his mouth still full of cookie, the sound of his voice reflecting that fact.

“You’re Brock Boeser, right?” she asked sweetly.  “You play for the Vancouver Canucks?”

“Yeah,” Brock couldn’t help but smile.  He swallowed the rest of the cookie even though he didn’t really finish chewing it.  “That’s me.  Are you a fan?”

“My step-brothers are more so than I am,” she said.  “But I’m a fan of the team, yeah.  I’m Grace Gillespie,” she extended her hand to shake his.  “God, they’re not gonna believe me when I say I met you.  They’re gonna freak.”

Brock couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.  “Do you—I mean, do you want a picture?  I don’t mind at all.  I’ll sign an autograph on a napkin if you want me to.”

“Well…it’s a bit awkward to ask you at a Parkinson’s Society of BC meeting, but we could go to the Starbucks down the street and I could buy you a coffee.”

Brock was slightly taken aback at her forwardness.  He shouldn’t have been.  Girls came up to him all the time.  All the time.  And they were most definitely not shy.  But he wasn’t exactly expecting it to happen here, of all places.  A bar, sure.  Out with Petey or any of the other guys, absolutely.  But not here.  “Yeah…yeah sure,” he stuttered out.

“Then we should go,” Grace smiled.  She turned to look behind her.  Brock saw Esther picking up a few Oreos.  “Thank you for leading another great session, Esther,” Grace said.  

“Oh you are most welcome Miss Gillespie.  How is Hamish these days?  You didn’t speak much today.”

“He’s been doing fine lately.  His caregivers have been working around the clock for him.  They just work wonders, don’t they?”

Esther nodded.  “They are angels on Earth.  Anyways – we’ll catch up next week,” she said, leaning slightly on her leg to look beyond Grace and to Brock.  “I hope to see you here again next week, Brock.”

“Thank you, Esther.  See you next week,” he said, realizing he made the commitment before he could even realize what he was saying.

***

“I take that was your first meeting?” Grace asked as she set down the two lattes on the table against the window where Brock was waiting.  

“Was it really obvious?” Brock asked.

Grace shrugged her shoulders.  She didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious.  “It was the stuttering that gave it away, at least to me.  I know I stuttered a lot the first few times I came to these meetings.  I wasn’t the most comfortable talking about my dad’s condition to a room full of virtual strangers.  But within just a few months I realized the people in that room are the kindest, most empathetic, most amazing people that I’ve ever interacted with.  So I became a lot more open.”

Brock was transfixed by every word that Grace was saying.  “So you’ve been coming here a long time,” he said.

Grace nodded.  “My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was fourteen.  I didn’t start coming here until I was about eighteen, though.”

Brock knew he shouldn’t ask.  He knew he shouldn’t.  But his brain had ulterior motives, and his mouth – well, his mouth listened to his brain, because it apparently needed to know.  “Is your—is your dad like my dad?” he asked.  “Does he have, like, other problems complicating things?”

Grace shook her head.  “No,” she said softly.  “But the Parkinson’s is enough for him.  I mean he was diagnosed just short of ten years ago and he’s already on puréed foods.  It’s not—I mean, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t regularly develop that fast.  But that’s…I don’t know how you do it.”

Brock didn’t know either.  Some days he didn’t.  “I just take it day by day,” he said simply, just like he said in the meeting.  “If I think about it too much…that’s when it’s bad.”

“I hear ya,” Grace said, taking a sip of her coffee.  “But let’s…not talk about this for too long.  Do you like Vancouver?  Do you find it nice?”

Brock appreciated the change in topic.  “I love it here,” he nodded his head, smiling.  “The city’s great.  The fans are great.  My teammates – I mean they’re amazing.  What do you do?”

“I’m a dance teacher at Goh Ballet – little kids and teens, mostly.”

He wasn’t expecting that.  She was drop dead gorgeous, sure – Brock wasn’t blind – but he wasn’t expecting to hear she was a dancer.  “Do you, like, dance in the real ballet?”

Grace snorted slightly at his phrasing of ‘real ballet’.  “No.  I pursued it only up until a certain point.  I was good, but uh, I stopped when my dad got diagnosed.”

“Why?  Don’t they always tell people like us to have, like, an outlet or whatever?”

“They do.  But I loved my dad more than I loved dance.  And I would have rather spent the time that I was spending on dance with him instead.”

He understood where she was coming from, and he wasn’t there to judge her.  “And your brothers you mentioned, did they help too?”

“Oh no no no.  Sorry – I should have specified.  I’m an only child.  Like, the only child between my parents.  But they divorced when I was six and when my mom re-married I gained two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo.”

“How was the divorce?” Brock found himself asking.

“You ever see footage of a nuclear bomb exploding?” Grace giggled as she asked the question.  It caused Brock to laugh too even though the analogy she was making was dreadful.  “It was awful.  The type of divorce nobody deserves, you know?  I became a pawn, basically, and my parents would only speak to each other through lawyers.  Even stuff concerning me.  It was bad.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It was.  But it’s the only life I know,” she said.  “He was lucky my mom ended up marrying another rich guy.  I mean, my mom only marries rich men,” she giggled slightly again.  “That’s how Jasper and Theo became my step-brothers.”

“So your family has money?” Brock clarified.  “What’s it from?  Dad a lawyer or something?”

“Not exactly,” Grace said.  “My dad and his brothers own a private equity firm that started like this,” she pinched her fingers together, “and went like…” she continued, spreading her fingers and moving her hands around her like a bomb explosion.  “Gillespie Brothers Investments.  I’m sure as a Vancouver Canuck you’ve heard of them.  I mean they wanted to buy the Canucks before the Aquilinis.”

Brock hadn’t heard of them, but he now knew he’d have to do some snooping when he got home. “I haven’t heard of them.  But I mean – sounds like they were successful.”

“Three billion dollars is pretty successful to me,” Grace quipped.

“B—Billion,” Brock sputtered out.  “With a B.”

“With a B,” Grace nodded.  Brock had no idea he was sitting across from the daughter of a billionaire.  She didn’t act like a billionaire.  Not like Brock knew what billionaires acted like.  He’d never met one before in his life.  Well, besides Francesco.  “But tell me more about what you like about Vancouver.  What about the nature?  I always kind of fine a good long walk along the Seawall or through Stanley Park really clears my mind from all…this.  What about you?”

Brock smiled.  “I find the white noise of downtown clears my mind.”

***

“You want my number,” Grace said as a statement rather than a question as she and Brock exited the Starbucks.  They were kicked out.  They’d been there for so long that they’d been kicked out because they were closing.  Their coffees had gotten cold.  They hadn’t ordered new ones.  And now they found themselves on the deserted sidewalk, jackets put on hastily, and Grace came up with that.

Brock looked down at her.  They’d been able to look into each other’s soul for the past few hours.  “Of course I want your number,” he said.  There was no reason to hide it.  No reason to deny it.  No reason to have to wait until next week to see her again as they sat around in a circle in a community centre talking about their parents.

He took out his phone.  She gave him her number.  He texted his name to hers so she’d have his.  When that dance was done, she looked up at him.  “I’m really glad I met you tonight,” she said, her voice sincere.

Brock nodded.  “I’m glad I met you too.  I—I really enjoyed this.  And I mean—I needed it.”

Grace smiled, nodding her head.  “I needed it too.”

“D’you—” Brock stopped, trying not to get too far ahead of himself.  “D’you need a ride home?”

“Oh no no, my driver is right there,” she motioned her head towards a black Mercedes waiting by the curb.

Brock hadn’t noticed the car until now.  “Chauffeur?”

“Billionaire dad,” she winked.  Brock understood.  She took a few steps back before smiling one more time.  “Call me,” she said, before flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking towards the Mercedes and getting into the backseat.  Brock watched as it drove off, making a right at the end of the street.

He would definitely be calling.

[gerry4mike]

have my ethubs au bcs i like it

several things before i copy paste it here: i explain things quite chaotically so it may be a pain 2 read. also i do not understand tumblr im here because trafficblr >>>> traffictwt Please Dont Exile Me. also there are typos and mistakes bcs i am lazy. its nothin too professional so . can b read as whatever

bdubs is the god of time, one of several gods who were worshipped in the area. nobody knows their names, they are just callled god of time, god of nature, god of life, etc. and they vibe in their god place only sometimes comin back 2 like vibe set some prophets ec. so weve got bdubs, god of time., hes tired, i mean, he has the tiring task of takin care of time and time is a circle that keeps repeating. in the moments of rest he sleeps and repeates his life constantly from the moment of him becoming the god to the current moment. so, bdubs is besties w cleo and cleo is the god of life, but also death. peopple usually think of them as of two different people, ecause the god of life appears in a beautiful light and is wonderful; the god of death is filled w decayin flesh and gray skin. but both of them are cleo. and so bdubs' prophet died, like humans do, so bdubs had to ascend in the form of a human, to find a new prophet. the myth is that if u get handed a specific type of a clock by a human it means that the god of time has chosen you to b the next prophet. so, bdubs chooses a man w a long, white braid and elf ears. but - but ! - the man laughs at him ! "you wont get me this easilt", he says. after talkin w him for a bit, it tunrnrs out that his name is etho and - BOOM ! - he is an atheist ! the only atheist in the whole area and hes pretty well known for that, with people constantly trying to make him believe in the gods. bdubs could give up and find a new prophet, sure, but that etho guy is interesting - so he stays w him. and they talk. and they bond. and they get close. and suddenly, bdubs doesnt want to make him believe in the gods, bcs it would mean that he had to go back. and both of them wouldnt just hang out anymore. thats not good. so they just vibed. and one day, cleo appeared in front of him, with tears running down her cheeks and she told him that those who are above them - those higher than gods, the ones who Watch - have noticed what theyre doing and that such a close relationship between a human and a god shouldnt be. and those who Watch, the watchers, theyre going to take an action against them. "like always", she cries, holding onto his shoulders. "please, bdubs. not anymore”.

bdubs doesnt understand her, but his heart hurts. she dissapears and he wonders, still smelling the rotten flesh. those who Watch - the watchers - they are higher than gods. they are scary. they do not care for anything beyond themselves and their fun. gods are just pawns, supposed to be stuck in their place so the real fun - stupid, impulsive humans - can survive, cause wars and suffer all over again. its entertaining to the watchers. and thats why the gods cant get close to humans - if they grow attached to them, they would stop allowing the humans to be used as sacrificed in the great game of blood, orchestreated by the watchers. bdubs knows this - and yet, he looks at etho, and he cant let go. and he doesnt want to leave him there, in this awful human world. he is different than other gods. maybe he can talk to watchers, beg them to let them take etho with him to the place where gods live and grant him immortality? or to switch their places, so etho can be immortalized and be forever worshipped as the god of time and he, bdubs, could stay on earth as a weak human whos destiny is death? he wishes he could do that. the days go by and one day, when he and etho are in the walk in the forest, laughing - bdubs has never felt so alive before (he has always been stuck in a time loop, resurviving, and now hes living) - when they see a weird sihouletete floating above the ground. etho takes out his bow, because it may end badly for them, and they get closer. the floatring individual has wings on both sides of his head. they are colorful, bright, and they cover his eyes. "bdubs. etho. nice to see you again", he says, tilting his head and smiling widely. they both are confused, theyve never seen him before. "i am here for an execution." the watcher takes out his bow and seems to stare right into their souls, even if his eyes are covered. "once again. an execution of a god who got too close to a human" etho protectively stands in front of bdubs and aims his own bow at the being. they hear a laughter, the sound so similar to creature's voice, yet it doesnt come from his mouth. "god of time, even after such a long time, you cant remember yourself" and he shoots, wihtout hesitation, right at etho. bdubs didnt have much of a choice, did he? either way, hes gonna die, and hes not bringin etho down with him. so he pushed him away, arrow going right into bdubs' throat, causing him to fall on the ground. hes a god. an arrow shot by a human hand wouldnt hurt him, but this was a hand of the one who Watches. it was a deadly shot. pain wasnt something he ever felt before, but right now it was present. it was sweet. and he remembered. oh, he remembered. he laughed bitterely. etho was by his side, asking "why", putting a cloth over bdubs' throat. he didnt get an answer; he only got a clock in return. and when etho held it into his hands, he felt something so different. he dissapeared, appearing in the real for gods, screaming bdubs' name, but then he got confused. what was the word he was screaming? did it mean something? he couldnt remember it nor the letters that were in it. he shrugged, hiding the clock, a symbol of his divine power, into a pocket of his jacket and went to do work. he ehard that he have just lost a prophet, so he has to choose another one, right? ah, the hard life of a time god. several years later, while choosing a prophet, he met a man named bdubs, who caused his heart to hurt. he didnt give him the clock just yet - he wanted to get to know him first. this human made him feel so curious. what was about him, that made his heart ache? in another real, the goddes of life and death was sitting in front of table, once again crying over her friends' souls. her fate was tragic - people were afraid of one of her form while loving the other, not knowing it has always been the same person. but there were gods suffering far more. like the time god, who really was two people, eternally stuck in a repeating cycle. their lives could never change, like a hand of a clock cant change its trajectory.