#if i had known I'd draw them this much today i would have posted all of it at once

[laxi0v0]

[mysticsparklewings]

Karla Choupette, but make her Winx!

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It’s been so long since I posted art, I kinda forgot how to caption it 😅

So I’ll stick with facts: Exactly 1 year ago today, I brought home my very first Rainbow High doll, Karla Choupette. Shortly after, I wanted to draw her, and since I was on a roll with Winx-Club-Style art at the time, this is the result! 🤍

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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This won't be much of surprise to Sparklers that read my most recent Museletter, but to those that didn't: Hi! Longtime no art; How've you been? 👋 😅 If you're curious about how & where I've been, I'm going to direct you to that Museletter for the full details.

Also as you'll see in the Museletter, I had actually started on and mostly finished this piece right before my accidental half-year hiatus actually began (in December). There are many reasons (discussed at length in the Museletter) as to why I've held onto this piece for so long, but chief among them are 1. A lack of motivation to type this description and 2. Even months later, I was still not 100% sure about the background I originally picked out.

We'll talk more about the background in a bit. Firstly, especially for those that didn't read the Museletter, I should probably tell you who/what exactly this is and why you're staring at it. 😆

This lady, dear Sparklers, is one Karla Choupette of Shadow High, which is a...sub-line? I guess is the best way to put it? of the Rainbow High doll line. Except, per my usual art shenanigans, she's been drawn in the Winx Club art style. 😅

Karla is also known as: The Doll that Broke My (also unintentional) 5-6 year Doll Buying Hiatus. And in fact, that was the final key to me dusting off my typing fingers to finally bring this art to you Sparklers today.

I'll try and keep this story brief, but...Well, loyal Sparklers know how me and "brief" usually go, so I'll just apologize in advance for how very not-brief this actually will be...

In a way, this story starts in 2016 with the second generation of Monster High.

The first generation of Monster High was, pretty indisputably, my "true doll love" even though until it's beginning in 2010 I'd been raised on mostly Barbie and some Bratz. But the second generation was almost completely canned by the fan base, including me.

By 2018, most Monster High merchandise had disappeared from stores entirely. It all happened so fast for a franchise that had been such a lightning-in-a-bottle success before; It was depressing. (It's still depressing, to be completely honest, even with G3 now alive and well.)

And after that, for years the was really nothing for me in the doll space. With Monster High and Ever After High gone, Barbie's quality having taken a nosedive, Bratz's presence be wildly inconsistent...Whatever options were left either didn't appeal to me personally or didn't stick around long enough for that to matter.

So for the next few years, my attention in the toy aisle was pretty squarely on Shopkins, Num Noms, and the occassional other surprise toys that tempted me enough to try at least once. 🤷‍♀️

In 2020 (so I've been told by the internet—I couldn't have remembered the date if my life depended on it because that's how little attention I was paying to them at the time), Rainbow High dolls started appearing in store. And I do believe I remember seeing them in-store, possibly even an enclosed display. And I remember really not liking them at the time!

And I didn't like what I saw of Rainbow High for a considerably amount of time after that. But somehow, someway, I did very slowly start to come around to them. I think the biggest factor was when I started to understand that despite what sounded like a cutesy name to me, Rainbow High was not effectively a line of CareBears dressed as teenage girls.

Though, at this stage, when I say "come around to," I really mean I stopped viewing the line with active disdain. It would take a while longer of random images popping up on my Instagram and Pinterest feeds (mostly Instagram) before I started to think, "Oh well maybe I'd buy one if xyz..."

But I don't think it was too much longer after the "if xyz" phase that I was browsing around on Pinterest

And there, that was the moment—*Gasp*, Who is she? She looks like Ivy if Ivy were pink! She's so pretty!!

Karla Choupette had appeared.

And for the record, yes—I did and still do think Karla looks a lot like what I envision for my Winx OC Ivy aside from the pink coloring. So if in the future you see me draw Ivy and her outfit looks suspiciously familiar, now you'll know why!

But, to be fair, that's not the only thing about Karla's design that appeals to me. The stark contrast of colors is one for sure, as well as the slight contrast of the punk-ish boots with the more formal/business-like dress/top situation. And after I did (spoiler alert) bring Karla home, I realized she bears some resemblance to one of my favorite Monster High dolls of all-time, Zomby Gaga, so there was almost definitely some subconscious influence coming from that.

Anyway. It was a little bit of a slow burn, but eventually the desire to actually get a Karla doll was rattling around in my head so loudly it was was very nearly literally keeping me up at night.

I completely lucked out in the timeline that Karla had already been out for a while at that point and last year's Amazon Prime Day wasn't too far around the corner. Sure, I could have just bought her at any time, but considering I'd been out of the doll-buying game a while and my "first doll back" was going to be one completely unlike the rest of my collection [..and I use that term kind of loosely here], so I didn't want to put too much money on the line when it was fully possible I'd get her home and unboxed and decide I didn't actually like her all that much.

The funny thing is, the story could've even there. Or at least taken a significant detour. Because, sure enough, Amazon did mark Karla down for Prime Day at the time, but before I could go through with the purchase, she sold out. 🙃

On a whim though, I decided to check Walmart a little later in the day, and lo and behold—Apparently they really wanted to compete with Amazon for sales that week, so they'd dropped their price on Karla to match and actually still had her in stock!

I ordered her for local pickup to avoiding paying for shipping, and the next day—Exactly one year ago today!—Karla came home with me. [And you can see a picture of my exact Karla in that Museletter I mentioned before, for those curious!]

It would be another couple of days before I actually opened her; Both in the store when we picked her up and while I was opening her, I was honestly a little scared that physically being able to hold her would somehow break whatever magic hold this doll had had over me up until either point.

But as you can probably guess by the way I'm telling this story and the fact that this art exists—Nope! And even a year and 20 (...soon to be 21...) more Rainbow/Shadow High dolls later, Karla is still my favorite. She is, in fact, the only one I currently have 2 of, as I found an incomplete-but-in-great-shape Karla for cheap on eBay about a month later.

To be fair, I should back up a bit and clarify: If you're familiar with the doll space, you may be wondering why/how Karla was the buying-hiatus-breaker for me even though Monster High G3 started releasing new dolls in 2022.

Technically I suppose she wasn't because I did get some of the MH G3 dolls and Howliday Draculaura for Christmas 2022, but for space/storage related reasons, it would be much longer before I actually opened any of my new MH dolls, and there were various aspects that made G3 still feel kind of rocky and uncertain at the time.

Karla was the one that really sparked my excitement for dolls in general again, though the excitement manifested as a rolling snowball instead of a roaring fire—I started out, as many doll fans across all brands have, insisting Karla would be the "only" Rainbow High doll I wanted/needed.

And if you'll remember I quoted a collection of 20 Rainbow High dolls a few paragraphs ago, then you'll already know exactly how that well-intended insistence turned out. 😆 [And this isn't even touching on the fact that, as also mentioned in the Museletter, that Karla and the Rainbow High girls also ignited a "make things for the dolls from scratch" spark in me that I have felt in...Mm, probably not since the earliest days of Monster High, sometime before 2013.]

Some of you are also now probably doing the math on how we arrived at the concept for this artwork—This is very much not the first (or even second or third) time that I've used the Winx Club art style as a vessel to express my love for some other thing.

It's been a while since the idea began by now, but I remember I had inklings of wanting to draw Karla for a while—I think in particular I wanted to play with Karla's white eyelashes in illustrated form since it's both something I've never seen on a doll before and also white eyelashes in general are just a unique and interesting concept to me—And since I was sorta on a roll with the Winx Club stuff/style, it wasn't too long or too far of a leap in logic to decide this is the way it would be done.

Likewise, if you've seen any of my most-recent Winx art, you'll already be fairly familiar with my process for how the art comes together in the most literal senses. So because of that and because it has been long enough that I don't remember finer details like areas that were particularly tricky so well, I'm going to skip over a lot of that here.

However, I do remember and can tell you a few things that make Karla here a little different from some of those other attempts of mine, so I will now start rambling about that in whatever order things come to mind.

Firstly and possibly the most obvious, Karla you could say Karla's wasn't "Winx-fied" as intensely as Helena or The Nanny, which was a very purposeful choice. I love Karla's original design so much that I really didn't want to touch it too much, and so while a fairy form like those other two artworks can often be more fun, I opted to keep Karla "casual."

To that end, I followed what patterns and "rules" I've observed for the Winx's Season 2-3 "casual outfits" as best I could without making any serious alterations. [The linked screenshot isn't the best example of said patterns/rules—You kinda have to take in multiple screenshots to get the best feel for that—but it's a decent enough point of reference for which outfits I'm talking about.]

So the main thing you'll notice are the things I took away or simplified because I think thy pushed Winx Club's style "limits" a bit too far—Karla has her fan but it's missing the word "Shadow" across the front, the zippers on her shoes aren't well-defined, the charm/pin from her tie is missing, you can't see the pinstripes on her dress (though if this were meant to be the Seasons 2-3 promo art style and not true-to-show style, I would've left those in)...things like that.

I did make small exceptions for things I felt would take away too much if I left them out like the details on her belt, the buckles on her boots, giving her eyeshadow, etc. But I tried to balance it all out. The belt is probably still pushing it, but I genuinely wasn't sure how else to handle it and I think everything else worked out well enough.

Now, I did make the decision to approach the line work more so how Season 4 would do it—There are more colored lines here than is really typical for Season 3, especially when you count Karla's hair. This was mostly done to try and preserve some of Karla's own "feel" when you look at her, but also a little for contrast of the different elements/textures at play. [For example, I thought lining her hair in black would look too harsh.]

...I should also probably mention that while I still stand by Karla looking a lot like what I want for Ivy, I really was focused on trying to capture Karla as herself here—I can't say Ivy never entered my mind during the drawing process because that's kind of impossible given that she lives and dies entirely in my imagination, but I did not consciously at any point use Ivy as reason or justification for any changes made to Karla's design.

Oh, and if this pose feels a little familiar, much like with Fran, I opted to re-use a pose I'd already been working with around the time I started this project. It's hard to tell from my sketches in the linked image, but in this case I did decide to re-draw the arms to nearly the opposite position because it made figuring out what to do with her fan so much easier.

Ironically, this pose is not at all the best way to get a good look at her white eyelashes, but I worked with what I had to make something nice without it taking 2-3 (or more) times as long, so I'm not actually too upset about that.

You could say that's sorta what happened with the background—I can't say this is my most favorite background I've ever put together, but I really did not have any better ideas, so...🤷‍♀️

Maybe it's obvious, maybe it's not, but I decided to try combining a design formula that's been used in a lot of the Rainbow High boxes as a background (and sometimes in other promotional material) with some general ideas from promotional images/profiles you may have seen of the Winx before.

So if you thought you were seeing Alfea castle edited into a rainbow gradient back there, you would be absolutely right. 😉

This is also why Karla's name is just kinda randomly hanging out over there on a "true to show style"—It's a little more consistent with the Winx profiles/images and added a little extra something I felt was missing from the full package.

And while not my primary motivation, I did kind of like the idea that with a background situation like this, if I decide I ever want to draw more Winxify-ed Rainbow High girls, I can re-use it and have them all a little more visually united as a series.

I have no current plans to do that, but I like being able to leave the door open for it, y'know?

...I think those are all the main things I wanted to mention. This is the real trouble with not writing these descriptions as soon as I'm able—I forget too much! But there's not much to be done about it now, so oh well I guess.

In such case, the important thing really is that I'm still happy with how the art turned out. Or at least Karla and some of the other details. Even at this very moment I still have my quibbles and doubts with the image of Alfea hanging out back there, but at this point I really don't want to put off uploading this any longer solely because of that, of all things.

Since I did find it in me to scramble what was left of this description together though, coupled with things I mentioned in that last Museletter, I really hope this means I've finally turned some kind of internal corner and and that it won't be another block of months before you Sparklers see more art from me.

At the very least, I can now say I've tried this new submission portal from dA and...It's not my beloved Sta.sh, but...eh, it's okay I guess. I still miss my editing/formatting tools being more available like in a proper text editor, but in some ways I do think I like this better than the previous submission portal, if I'm going to be forced to type out my descriptions in here from now on.

I think at least knowing that—that I'm marginally more familiar with this new portal now—will be a step in the right direction.

One last thing before I leave you Sparklers for today—I plan to give this description a once-over before I submit, but I've written most of it late at night after a busy shopping day and may or may not have caught myself almost dozing off a couple of times, so on top of my faulty memory, if you notice any exceptionally weird mistakes, that's probably where those came from and I missed them on my second read-through. 😅

In any case, Sparklers, I thank you for still being here and being patient with me—Like I said before, I sincerely hope this is just the beginning of me finally being "back," at least for a while, but ultimately only time will tell if it is or not.

But if it is, then I expect to see you all again much sooner rather than later...😉

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Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings

Karla Choupette/Rainbow High © MgA Entertainment

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[rainypebble07]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!

Today, August 30th, is my birthday and (conveniently) also the day I posted my first fic, It Wasn't A Bad Thing (Do not read it, read the rewrite), on Ao3 and entered the Byler community as a writer and eventually artist.

It's strange to think that I've been here for 365 days now. I mean, that's a lot of days, but it's honestly been so fun to get to know some of the people here and I just love you guys. All of you. Seriously.

As a birthday gift, maybe read one of my fics and leave a fun comment (I have them all listed in my pinned past, but I recommend the superspy, pirate, and zombie Will ones)! If not that, give me a silly drawing request I'll take days to finally get around to or even just a fun little ask!!

And I love to talk about myself, but over the year, there have been some very impactful people I've met on this site, and I'd just like to thank all of them for being so wonderful (if you're not on the list, I still love you, I promise. I'd name every one of my followers if I could), so without further ado...

Rainy's Thank You List of Very Awesome People:

@foodiewithdahoodie you, my friend, are the best. One of my first ever followers, even before I was an artist. I've had your support since day 1 and I'm so grateful to call you my mutual!! You're seriously the kindest ever <333

@microwaveonwheels You're just the most fun person, my favorite kitchen appliance. You've got the best (and sometimes the most challenging) drawing requests and you never ever fail to make me laugh with your tags. Keep your energy forever and ever, my biology genius mutual :)))))

@sillylittlerock If I have one fan, it's you. If I have 100 fans, you're one of them. If I have no fans, you have left the building. SILLYLITTLEROCK you are THE ROCK and genuinely the sweetest person ever. Absolutely my favorite and I hope you have the most beautiful of days. Rock gang, rock gang.

@callmetheidiot I hope the ex fight was worth it, you've let me become a wattpad fiend (jkjk I haven't even touched wattpad in over a week). You are the kindest and most wonderful of people, callmetheidiot. And I would never ever call you an idiot bc you are the absolute definition of the opposite.

@th3-third-duffel-bag You're the coolest ever. And it makes me laugh when you leave angry comments on my Ao3. Much, much love <333

@cringengl I don't interact with you much, but every time you like one of my posts, I feel like you're saying it's cringe and it makes me laugh every time. Have the most amazing of days today! I love you!

@runninguplenorahills If I had to have my first pointless internet beef with anyone, I'm glad it was you. I'll admit, I was wrong about the barbie movie thing. I'm just stubborn. I think you're awesome though, even if we're worst enemies now. (jkjk we're not enemies... unless...) (no jk again) Have a wonderful day!!!!

@elsbianism You know what? I just think you're neat. Even before I started following you I was just like gee, they're pretty neat. And then I did follow you! And now we're mutuals! And you're still the neatest person here, El, so congrats on that one.

@miaisagirllover MIA I LOVE YOU! Thank you for helping me to break the barrier between dimensions. I look at your pinterest every day like ahhhh my stuff. And you've just got the best takes, I'm sorry so many people like Billy. I'll try to stop them. Have a lovely day, friend!!

@chaoticbyler Just had to give a quick shoutout to my pinterest spy on the inside. Never would have even known my art was breaking barriers without your help. Thanks, soldier. I owe you one.

@midget-is-a-simp I don't think I have one post you haven't liked. And I've had minimal interaction with you, but if my life was a TV show, you'd be the character who showed up once a season and you're somehow everyone's favorite character.

@yearninginblue you are my superspy buddy for life and I love you so so so much <3

@phaniella your comments make my day and I love you for it <3

@howtobecomeadragon IDK HOW I ALMOST FORGOT YOU OMG YOU'RE THE BEST. BEST FOR LAST, I GUESS. YOU, my friend, are the sweetest ever and I'm so happy to be your mutual. The fact that you like dragons so much is so cool. Never ever lose your passion! Dragons are awesome (and so are you)!!

Alright, sorry it's long, but I had a lot of people to be thankful for (and, trust me, so many more who I couldn't fit to the list). If you see this, just know I love you more than anything and I hope EVERYONE had the best day ever.

Bye-bye for now,

Rainy Pebble

[mareenavee]

WIP Whenever~

So no, I haven't been tagged in this at the moment~ (unless I have and tumblr notifs are being a large pain in the butt by not informing me -- if so! My bad) In that case, I'll start the train (: Share some fun stuff, friends!

Tagging the most esteemed and unparalleled @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @rhiannon1199, @friend-of-giants, @thequeenofthewinter, @snippetsrus, @saltymaplesyrup, @archangelsunited, @tallmatcha, @airiat, @thelightofmorning, @thana-topsy and @the-storytellers-seer! Leaving some amazing TES writers for the others to tag into the game this week, or else I'd just post a huge long list of tags of people whose work I love to see. (: Maybe I ought. But for now, to the words!!

Below the cut, some of my AU one-shot in which Nyenna and her brother, Eris actually make it to Solstheim first, and miss the Helgen nonsense entirely. Oh, but have they? Have they really?

“Ah, so, that’s why Morrowind, then,” Teldryn said. She nodded. “We all have our troubles, outlander. No need to apologize.” He reached out and squeezed her shoulder. She turned her gaze on him then, all the pain she’d tried to keep inside right there in her eyes. She closed them and tilted her head back, as if to prevent the tears from falling. Ash floated lazily down, collecting in the stray strands of her hair like snow.

“Yes. For a second today, I felt free for the first time in years. Every day I’d question if it’d be our last. If we were careful enough. They were everywhere. It felt like such a weight was lifted to cross the border to somewhere safe after such struggle. You’ve no idea, and I likely couldn’t convey it if I tried,” Nyenna said with a small sigh. “And Y'ffre knows I’ve tried.”

“I know a thing or two about trying to keep a low profile,” Teldryn said with a snort. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hence the helmet, even indoors?” Nyenna ventured. “Oh, but I’m sorry to say, it’s not very, ehm…inconspicuous, is it?” He chortled and she smiled warmly. “I noticed you right away, for the record.”

“Ah. Well. Hence the helmet, especially indoors, in that case,” Teldryn drawled. She couldn’t see it through his scarf but he was grinning. Astute, this one. She had a point about the chitin. “Can’t do with not drawing the attention of an…interesting outlander.” She laughed then, stress melting from her shoulders like so much ice.

“It’s been quite a long time since I was able to tell anyone anything of my struggles. Thank you for…well, for all of this. I’m just a stranger. You couldn’t have known how much it would mean,” Nyenna said. Her fingers brushed against his hand briefly, probably on purpose. There was another shock, gone again before he could register what the hell it could be. Magicka, maybe. Something strange. Did she even know how loud she was? The sensation wasn’t a sound, exactly, but something beyond. He glanced at her and felt his face flush. Thank Azura for the helmet, then. It was useful, after all. He cleared his throat and scratched under the edge of his scarf.

“As I said, we all have our troubles,” he said carefully. “Think nothing of it.” He shifted a little and faced her again. “Say, if you’re going to Tel Mithryn after all, I wouldn’t mind the company, by the way. I was headed out that way later this week in any case.”

“Oh, so I’m that interesting, am I?” Nyenna said with another laugh. “You would change your plans just to tag along?”

“Well, that and it’s not exactly a safe passage. Reavers and all in the crossing,” Teldryn mumbled. Normally he’d have tried to turn this into some kind of job, but he was finding, inexplicably, that he did not really want to be parted from her after all. Strange. They’d barely exchanged a handful of words.

“It wouldn’t be wise to refuse such a chivalrous offer,” Nyenna said with a small smile. “But I think Eris and I will be just fine. We probably can’t afford the fee, and I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Oh, but I wasn’t angling to be hired or anything,” Teldryn said, though he wasn’t sure why such words were falling out of his mouth at the moment. Was he ever a s'wit. He held out his palms in a gesture of peace and sighed. “It’s no imposition, outlander. Promise. What do you say?” Nyenna laughed then, which was unexpected.

“Just so you know, we don’t really need protecting. Eris might not look like much, but he’s kept us both alive so far,” she said. “He’s a good mage, actually. Better than a lot of people I’ve seen in my time.” Teldryn crossed his arms over his chest again.

“It’s a difficult trip, I think, for mages on their own. Swords still pierce wherever armor isn’t,” Teldryn observed with distaste. “What about you? Are you a mage, too?” He was grateful for the opening to talk about the Magicka observation without seeming strange or too nosy. She smiled wistfully and shook her head.

“When I was younger, I was strictly forbidden from learning anything of the sort. No fighting, no magic. I accepted it, but lately I’ve been reading over Eris’s shoulder. He pulled a spell out of nowhere this morning,” she said casually. Teldryn knit his eyebrows.

“What does that mean?” he asked before he could caution himself. So much for not seeming nosy.

[inhumanliquid]

Just a lil' medical trauma rant because I'm in a mood today.

When I was a little kid with undiagnosed autism and anxiety, I didn't like going to the doctor much because of all the strangers and the sensory overload that it can cause. Usually, shots were done when I'd already had enough of the sensory hell. So I had meltdowns.

Did they give me a chance to calm down? Nope! Instead, they opted to physically restrain a crying, screaming, squirming, kicking, punching, biting toddler! If you didn't know, being held down when your only reaction to anything is to move hurts. A lot. And if a specific thing, in this case medical needles, is what leads to the pain, a kid will begin to inherently associate that thing with physical and mental distress. And people don't tend to like things that cause severe distress.

This can lead to trypanophobia (the irrational fear of needles in medical settings), among other things. It can even cause a little thing known as post-traumatic stress disorder. Because it's fucking traumatic.

I'm terrified of hospitals and doctors by association, but even more so needles used in things like vaccinations and blood draws. This is a problem, because I have a genetic blood disorder that makes me more likely to die from a fucking cold than the average person and could very well end up just killing me itself via ruptured organs if not monitored and treated properly. Which means I have to go through a fairly regular hell for the rest of my life or die earlier than I would otherwise.

Oftentimes, I think I'd prefer the latter.

So maybe don't fucking do that to a fucking child, it has a decent chance of fucking them up for good.

[paullovescomics]

FCBD 2024, part 2 of 5

Romeo Vs. Juliet - So this seems to continue from the Kill Shakespeare series (hence the subtitle, "A Kill Shakespseare Adventure"). I have not read this series, so a lot here was lost on me. However, it seems to incorporate characters from many of Shakespeare's plays into one world. Obviously a lot has gone down since the first volume began back in 2010. It's interesting, though I didn't really know what was going on. I think I have at least the first volume in pdf, thanks to a Humble Bundle from years back. Time to finally read it?

Boom! Box 10th Anniversary Extravaganza - Similar to the other comic offered by Boom! this year, this one has samples of ongoing series. This time, there are four: Lumberjanes, Giant Days, Zawa, and Midas. The Zawa sample is a key moment from the first issue (I read that one, it's quite good), while the other three appear to be new. Giant Days is fantastic. It's like a sitcom in comic book form. I'm pretty sure I've read all of it, unless some new minis have escaped my notice (which is highly probable). Lumberjanes is well known, and very cute. Midas was new to me. It has a very different premise. Interesting. That's Zawa on the cover.

Conan and the Battle of the Black Stone - The last time I was really into Conan comics was when they were being published by Dark Horse. The IP roams around almost as much as the character himself. The current run at Titan Comics seems to have started fairly recently? Anyway, this FCBD issue gives you a look at the big story happening now, which has to do with a mysterious sigil that appears across time, and draws in various characters from Robert E. Howard's fiction. Some of the folks I'd never heard of. (Professor John Kirowan?) But I know that Howard wrote a lot of things besides Conan and Solomon Kane, including non-"genre" stuff like boxing stories. Pulp writers really had to grind out stories. This is written by Jim Zub, and he's written loads of good fantasy comics, so I bet this will also be fun.

Star Wars - Two stories in this one. The first one has our post-Empire Strikes Back crew of Luke, Leia, Lando, and Chewie going back to a location from that movie to rescue some rebels. It's neat, the call-outs don't feel too arbitrary (ymmv), but these stories with the main characters, set between the movies, with today's concerns about making everything fit just so, always feel hemmed-in to me. Still, it's a good read. The second one ties into the ongoing Darth Vader series. These have a little more elbow room, since Vader had little screen time in the movies, and there was little to no indication of what he got up to in between them. So we have a new character here, and a returning one that is unexpected. Even though this story is not set on Tatooine, I kept thinking that it was, because the planet is wasteland-y, and there's a cantina that would fit in there. It's not like lots of expanded universe stories haven't gone back there. I'm always at least low-key interested in the SW EU, but my reading mood hasn't taken me there in a while.

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[divergeddestiny]

Frequently Asked Questions

(Okay, so maybe they aren't "frequently asked" due to nobody even knowing this exists, but I digress.)

What is Diverged Destiny? An Undertale AU created by @superduggy117.

What kind of AU is this? While there are some roleswap elements, it is not the focus of the AU. There are some new characters and locations to visit with a decently new story. Honestly, I'm hesitant to give it a concrete label. If I HAD to describe it, I'd maybe call it an "AU with roleswap elements". Simply put, It's a story set in Undertale's world. You'll recognize a lot of aspects, but others may surprise you...

So roleswaps aren't the "focus". Can I get a roles list? Honestly, I'm... hesitant to provide one. I don't want so much emphasis on the roleswaps, and I'd also much prefer them to be revealed through the story itself rather than kinda just... being put out there. You'll just have to stay on your toes. Besides, won't it be more fun if you don't know what to expect?

How is Diverged Destiny's world different from Undertale's? For starters, certain key events and characters' lives played out a little differently. The timeline has been shuffled around at points, so some things that wouldn’t be possible otherwise can still happen (like certain characters existing at the same time, and them existing earlier than they otherwise would). As I've said, there are also some brand-new characters to meet and locations to visit. As for the genuine specifics, well, I don't want to give away any spoilers. You'll have to keep up with the story to find out! Just... keep an open mind. If something doesn't seem like it makes sense, it is very likely that your questions will likely be answered eventually.

What time period does the main story take place? Unlike in the original Undertale, the timeline here is much tighter and significantly less time has passed. This story takes place in 202X, which is essentially the present day, meaning I had to take some creative liberties and shuffle some things around, considering that most of the main cast shouldn’t technically exist by that point.

What format will the story be in? A write-up split into segments. It follows a single path and has one ending. While I will post updates on here, the main home for everything related to Diverged Destiny will be on the master google doc. There likely won't be custom sprites or anything like that, as I have neither the tools or the knowledge on how to make them. I'd love to create a spritecomic, but realistically, I highly doubt that's ever going to happen.

Is there an OST? Nope. I do know what tracks WOULD play, though. The write-up describes what the tracks would sound like to the best of my ability.

Perhaps one day there will be an actual OST, but not today.

How often will updates be released? I dunno. I just kinda work on this whenever I have time to, really. There's no set schedule or anything. I wouldn't expect them very often, to be honest :P

Do you have the full story planned out? Most of it! I'm excited to show anyone at all you guys what I've got in store...

So there's one route, huh? The write-up follows one main story. In-universe, it simply doesn't make sense for there to even be a Genocide Route. Regardless, I do have some Genocide ideas thrown together that I'll reveal later down the line for fun.

What about the main character? Haha this is less of a frequently-asked question and more of an infodump The concept of NarraCharra is used in Diverged Destiny.

However, the two protagonists of DD are actually original characters!

Amy can be rather reckless at times and is often frustrated at others for not taking her seriously. Not much is currently known about Caleb other than the fact that he's currently along for the ride.

Amy is 14 and Caleb is 15.

Can I make fan-content about this AU? Sure! Stuff like drawings, sprites, music, etc. is completely fine. Just make sure to link back here somewhere so people can find out what it's all about. I mean I doubt anyone would make any but like it'd be cool

Why should I care at all? Good question! Honestly, I just really want to share the stuff I've come up with. If only three people are genuinely interested in what I have to say, then so be it. I just figured I'd throw my stuff up here and maybe people would stumble across it, y'know?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- That about wraps it up, I think. Obviously, there's not much to see as of now, but I just wanted to get this up and running while I worked on the AU itself. I'll probably have the Ruins arc up here at some point soonish...?

Thanks for reading through all of that, I guess. I don't have anything else to show you for now...

[alchemist-of-altoids]

I had to write something for my lit class. figured I'd post it here, because I like it and maybe y'all will too

Tucker was terrified. He came over to Sam’s place for her birthday, since they were each other’s only friends. Her parents were attending some gala for rich people or whatever. As soon as they left that evening, Sam revealed that she had found something. An old book. A very old book. It supposedly was about ghosts and such. Now, Tucker was a man of science. He didn’t believe in ghosts or demons or anything that couldn’t be proven with facts. But as far as he could tell, bad juju had been proven time and time again. You mess with stuff you shouldn’t, and it bites you in the backside. So he didn’t want to be anywhere near this. But he also couldn’t leave Sam to do this by herself. He also couldn’t drive and his parents were probably asleep. So he would just have to stick it through. Plus, he couldn’t help but be curious. Not about the supernatural, but the nerd in him LOVED the idea of them reading a book so old not even Google had ever heard of it (he’d checked). So he helped her move her carpet so they could draw the chalk pentagram or pentacle or whatever it was called. He helped her set up the candles. He even helped her with her pronunciation, even if it wasn't in any language they’d ever seen.

Sam was ECSTATIC. She had found a ritual to summon the Ghost King. Sure, she hadn’t known there was a ghost king until she found the book, but still. She was a hardcore goth, how could anyone expect her to pass up this opportunity? So she was trying to find the perfect time and place to make Tucker help her with this. Then, a week before her birthday, she got the best news of her life. Some rich guy her parents knew from doing rich old people things decided to throw a last minute gala and they just couldn’t resist those things. Thank you Vlad Masters. Her parents would usually make her go, but they had already paid the party planner and for her entire party. So it would just be her, Tucker, and the book. Meemaw too, but she was by far the coolest Manson other than Sam. When the day finally arrived, she waited patiently. Her parents were heading to their private airport to take the jet to Wisconsin. Normally, they would have left already, but they wanted to spend as much time with her today as possible. When they finally left, she showed Tucker the book. He looked skeptical, as she expected, but also curious, which she had also expected. So they set everything up, and practiced saying the words. She wasn’t sure what the language was, but she had Rosetta Stone-d it. She had spent the past month or so finding little hints as to the alphabet and pronunciation of words. After a while, they felt like they had a solid grasp on the chant. The only things left to do were lighting the candles and actually doing the summoning.

Sam and Tucker were finishing the chant. It was almost time. They finished the last word in unison, and stared at the circle. And as they watched… Nothing happened. Sam didn’t bother hiding her disappointment. Tucker was also disappointed, to his own surprise. Sam drops face first onto her bed, tossing the book away as she does so, and Tucker falls onto a bean bag a few feet away. Tucker is about to try and cheer up Sam, when the circle starts glowing. White for a split second, then green. Bright, neon, toxic green. Tucker throws a plushy at Sam, because he can’t seem to speak. She sits up, and sees it. The inner lines of the pentagram are disappearing, as they all merge into a singular spot. A green, glowing, swirling portal. They watch, their faces showing dozens of emotions at a time, as a figure is shot through the portal. The portal shuts and leaves the figure trapped within the confines of the circle they had drawn. It starts flying around, its dark, misty, transparent body bouncing around as though there were invisible walls surrounding it. As it starts calming down, they get a better look at it. It’s mostly pitch black, but it’s highlighted by blinding white hands and what they can only imagine is hair, although it looks nothing like hair. It doesn’t have any feet, it’s torso just turns into a wispy tail-like thing. Its hands are claws that look sharp enough to puncture steel. But all that seems downright natural and friendly compared to its face. Its mouth is just a jagged line, where its skin becomes a series of points. When it’s open, the inside seems to just be a glowing green void. Its eyes are the same way. Pure, toxic green, casting a glow wherever it looks. Its ears are long and pointed, and its hair occasionally passes through them. It points a long, clawed finger at the book Sam threw on the floor. It opens its mouth to speak, and the noise that comes and the most unnatural, terrifying, eldritch excuse for a voice. But it is speaking in English, so they understand its words perfectly. “How did you get my library book?”

[zombie-boys]

autistic will byers

hello everyone! today i'd like to bring you my personal theory/headcanon about will byers, being that he's autistic!

i am autistic myself, and i couldn't help but find a lot (and i mean a lot) of similarities between my experience as an autistic person and will's behavior in stranger things - at least to me, will is heavily autistic-coded. of course, my experience does not stand for that of every autistic person.

note: a lot of my points have to do with certain narrative elements being symbolic of aspects of the autistic experience. within the context of the show, individual instances aren't necessarily allegorical. however, just like how we all know will is queercoded through his association with decidedly queer things, i have reason to believe will is autistic-coded through his association with decidedly autistic things.

this is a rather long post, so thank you for taking the time to read it. enjoy!

1. nonverbal communication

will is a very quiet person, even quieter when in distress; that doesn't say anything regarding will's autism on its own, but what does is how will has had to communicate nonverbally several times on the show.

some autistic folks are nonverbal, meaning that, to some degree, they don't communicate with their voice. some never speak at all, while others only go mute in select circumstances. for the latter, not speaking tends to be caused by severe emotional distress. not being able to speak can make someone feel isolated, as they are effectively trapped in their head and detached from everyone else. sometimes, when a typically verbal autistic person goes nonverbal, they can communicate with others via nodding/shaking their head, writing, or drawing instead of their voice.

there has been a rather heavy emphasis put on will communicating without his voice throughout stranger things, namely in st1 and st2 - when he is in the most distress.

in st1, will is physically isolated - he's trapped in the upside down and in extreme distress. he is unable to speak or cry out to his loved ones to save him because of his detachment from their world. instead, he reaches out to his mother via a system of nodding/shaking his head (the white lights, answering yes or no questions) and writing (the rainbow lights, answering more complex questions).

it's also worthy of note how his mother, joyce, heard his breathing over the phone and was able to recognize him. this suggests that maybe he has been rendered nonverbal before, overwhelmed in such a way that his mother should hear his quickened, panicked breathing and recognize him only through that.

in st2, will is mentally isolated - he's posessed by the mind flayer and in extreme distress. because the monster starts to control his words and his now-memories grow even more horrifying, will and his thoughts become detached from the outside world. he has to resort to drawing (drawing the tunnels he saw in his now-memories) and writing (using morse code) to communicate.

it should also be noted how quickly joyce suggested that will should draw the tunnels instead of describing them - this suggests that will has possibly communicated via drawing in the past.

2. aversion to change

will has experienced many drastic changes in his life - the most shocking of which being those resulting from his contact with the upside down. social changes, however, have been just as upsetting for will.

autistic people are known for liking routines and rules; having a regular, expected way to go about life makes it much easier to deal with. when those routines fall apart - when things change - autistic folks can get overwhelmed with disappointment, disorientation, and anxiety.

when will was younger, him and his friends would consistently play d&d. will grew to expect and look forward to playing the game; it became part of his routine. regularly playing d&d not only have his life structure, but also gave his friendship structure. it would always be just the four of them playing - as they were 'the party' - and so the secluded nature of their friendship in a sense also became part of will's routine.

to a less visible extent, will has a deep respect for the rules instilled in him - ones that can easily be attributed to his mother, which would explain why he's so loyal to them. will is said to be a very good student, and would never under any circumstances skip school. compare these to the social norns discussed later which, unlike these rules, have no real logic behind them. if he believes in the rule, will will internalize it and stick to it.

however, aside from the changes caused by trauma directed towards him, will experiences sudden social changes in st3 that utterly destroy his routines. his friends get girlfriends, wrecking the routine of getting to spend time with them alone, and wrecking the routine of getting to play d&d. these things were very, very important to him - and suddenly, they all changed.

will was constantly disappointed throughout the season, when his friends constantly turned down his suggestions to play d&d. they completely eliminated one of the constants in will's life. he was disoriented, his lack of a girlfriend alienating him from his friends - everything was different now, and now he was in a social setting he didn't know how to parse through. and above all he was anxious that his friendship was falling apart... will was thoroughly overwhelmed and unable to properly cope with the changes in his life.

a similar change occurred when lonnie, will's father, left the byers family. that was a big change that would cement lonnie's negative feelings for his children, and so will and his brother built castle byers as a way to cope. will had someone to comfort him then; he has no one to comfort him now.

the change regarding his friends is so overwhelming that will destroys castle byers; the deeper meaning of this circumstance will be discussed later.

3. deviation from social norms

as mentioned before, there are some rules, namely ones regarding respect and obligation, that will consistently follows; on the other hand, there are some other rules that will can't help but deviate from...

autistic people have a tendency to defy social norms. there is little intuition or inherent logic in many standards set by society, and so autistic people find it hard to recognize the existence of such norms, understand them, and implement them in their lives.

will is practically the antithesis of what a preeteen/teenage boy is expected to be by society - he's quiet, contemplative, sensitive, and remarkably wise; he enjoys drawing and engaging in fantasy roleplay; he wears colorful, patterned clothes that almost seem juvenile. nothing about will fits social norms.

will likes wearing colorful clothes; he likes playing dress-up and playing pretend. outside of anyone's influence, will finds no reason to change his behavior to fit social norms because he finds no logic in it. however, will's father lonnie has a major influence on him.

one of the norms his father expects him to fit is partaking in stereotypically masculine pasttimes, namely hunting and playing baseball. will acquiesces to participating in such activities, effectively fitting the social norms, but not because he understands them or internalizes them - he just knows that that would make his father happy, and so that's what he does. he implements these standards into his life without agreeing with them.

similarly, while will has no internal reason to not wear colorful clothes, he notably did not do so in the flashback regarding his father. will likely wore less of what he wanted when his father was around, and more colorful clothes after he left, as seen in the flashback in castle byers.

will's dull clothing (before lonnie left) vs. colorful clothing (after lonnie left)

note how other things expected of him, like the aforementioned doing well in school, have an intuitive, logical element. doing well in school helps him learn and be successful, and so the rules associated with that are ones he'd be more than willing to latch onto. being aggressive because he's a boy wouldn't do anything for him.

will is a shy boy; if he fully understood the social norms that induce the excess attention he recieves, he probably wouldn't act and dress the way he does so freely.

4. being treated like a baby in regards to sensitivity

will, even before the events of st1, has always been a rather sensitive kid, changing the way his loved ones treat him; this is only exemplified after he experiences such immense trauma, that his treatment singles him out for his sensitivity.

different autistic people are sensitive to different stimuli, and their loved ones tend to have some knowledge of those stimuli. said loved ones can treat the autistic person in question with respect, simply not forcing them into overwhelming situations, or they could be treated like a vulnerable baby out of overblown caution. the latter case, while well-meaning, can make an autistic person self-conscious or ashamed of their autism, and is very upsetting in itself.

will's loved ones know how sensitive will is generally speaking, and so, rather than singling out specific stimuli they know might upset him, they treat him as sensitive to everything. he's treated like he's incredibly vulnerable and susceptible to breakdown, as if he were a young child or a baby.

of course, all of this is done for the sake of caution; will's loved ones want him to be happy, so they're going to fret about him quite a bit. however, the way his loved ones treat him will only make will feel ashamed of his trauma, his sensitivity, and make him feel alienated from other children.

and in fact, will hates being treated like he's going to break. he's already bullied for being a "freak", but being worried over and coddled would only make him believe it. will is self-conscious about his sensitivity when it drastically changes how people treat him - not like a regular kid, but like a baby. and will wants to be treated like a regular kid.

5. having comfort media/items/places

will is associated with three "things" which he is shown to be heavily invested in: should i stay or should i go by the clash, d&d, and castle byers. will has the tendency to engage with such things (in their respective methods) when upset.

life is often very overwhelming for autistic folks, moreso than others; it's easy to get overstimulated, which is why many autistic people latch onto things that can calm them down. it could be an object, or a game, or a song, etc. - as long as it can comfort them in a time of distress and help them cope. such comforting things often have much emotional significance for the autistic person in question, meaning that the absence of such a thing is doubly upsetting.

will has been put in many overwhelming situations throughout his life - a lot of which had to do with his father, lonnie. homophobic (and ableist) as he was, lonnie frequently degraded his children for not fitting social norms. in response, will's older brother jonathan provided him with a comfort song - should i stay or should i go by the clash - which will would proceed to use as a coping mechanism in other times of distress. it's clear how much the song means to will - he apparently loves it so much that his friends can recognize it just based on association with him. the song has much emotional significance for him, even if his friends don't quite see why.

the role-playing game d&d would also help out will in overwhelming times - as mentioned previously, it was one of will's routines, reinforcing a schedule as well as his friendship, so it would really serve as a comfort game for him. it would also act as a coping mechanism in its ability to let will express himself and escape reality - the reality of his father, but also the reality of the upside down's hold on him. the game has a lot of emotional significance for will, in such a way that his friends don't understand - they don't understand why he needs it so desperately when overwhelmed and why its absence overwhelms him even further.

finally castle byers is a fort will built with jonathan or in the woods the night lonnie left the family. it was an intensely overwhelming experience, upsetting in how easily their father could abandon them. so they built castle byers in the rain; the process of building it was cathartic, but it would also serve as a comfort place for will. he filled it with his art and photos and stuffed animals and comic books - everything that made him happy - and so constructed it to be the perfect coping mechanism. will frequently stayed there alone, keeping himself to himself. it had intense emotional significance for will, even in its very construction; will risked pneumonia just to build it. that's what makes its absence all the more shocking, all the more painful - will was the one who destroyed it.

6. understanding & allyship vs. misunderstanding & ableism

will has a few friends, but there's only one he can really confide in - being mike wheeler. mike seems to understand will much better than most people (not like that says a lot, as will doesn't know that many people to begin with). however, even mike isn't perfect...

neurodivergent people are frequently misunderstood by others simply because their minds don't work like other people's. this lack of understanding - and lack of a desire to understand - fosters ableism. putting time and effort into listening to autistic people and actually treating them like people does wonders - it is humanizing to be understood, for someone to be your ally. but there will always be some misunderstandings, some that are very, very painful to hear from a loved one.

at this point in my discussion it is clear that will has experienced not only homophobia, but also ableism. while he's just a kid like everyone else, he's misunderstood and treated like an outsider - even by his own father. what will needed was to be understood - he needed an ally.

mike is a sweet, fiercely caring kid. he always jumps to the defense of folks he loves, in this case being his friend will. and not only would mike stand up for will, but he'd also treat him like any other kid. he'd always do his best to understand will.

this is exemplified in st2 - will is the most misunderstood he's been in a while, what with being trapped in a body being taken over by a shadow monster from a different dimension and being plagued by horrifying visions that send him into panic attacks. will only thinks mike would understand what he's going through, despite also being close with lucas and dustin. (mike tells will that el would understand, which is notable in how she's heavily autistic-coded herself.)

throughout the season will is affirmed that mike understands. mike is his friend. his ally. even when will's experiencing interdimensional visions, mike is there to listen and comfort him.

but then, once his focus shifts to el in st3, suddenly mike doesn't seem to understand anymore. his relationship with will that season was almost one big misunderstanding...

will was going through a lot - not only was he feeling lonely now that his friends had girlfriends and didn't want to play d&d anymore, he was also still being haunted by the upside down. will needed comfort. will needed d&d. will needed mike.

but mike wasn't listening. he misunderstood, and so found will's desire to play d&d childish and annoying. when he did humor will, it wasn't for long; he didn't take will seriously. he didn't stop to humanize him.

when will lashes out, mike misunderstands yet again, not only insulting will's lack of interest in girls, but also calling it ridiculous to think he would play d&d with them forever. without realizing it, mike is not only being homophobic, but also ableist. and it is painful.

mike is upset with will for being emotionally attached to a game. for latching on to any semblance of normalcy, of routine. for needing reassurance when he finds himself alone in a crowd. but now here was mike, part of that crowd. pointing him out to everyone. as queer. as a crybaby. as a freak.

when will destroys castle byers - a culmination of everything that makes him feel safe and happy and comfortable and understood - it's not only out of internalized homophobia, but also internalized ableism. the amount of people out there who understand him is dwindling. he feels like his very existence makes mike unhappy. it is painful.

eventually mike comes around, as is evidenced by the end of st3; mike recognizes the emotional significance of d&d to will. he asks why will is giving the game away. he listens. he tries to understand. the homophobia and ableism might now be beating up will from within, but at least mike is there for him again. hopefully, now that will is experiencing another big change, mike can continue to support his best friend.

7. runs in the family

now, on another note - not only is will heavily autistic-coded, but his family also is.

autism tends to run in families, so it's not uncommon for an autistic person to have autistic family members. the way autism manifests is distinct between family members, just like it is between any non-related autistic people.

jonathan shows some very clear signs of being neurodivergent. his "freak" dialogue in st2 indicates that he's alienated from others just like will, which suggests that it isn't an external factor causing either of them to stand out. (otherwise jonathan calling himself a freak wouldn't make much sense, as he's never 'come back to life' - the descriptor for that phenomenon would be "zombie boy", which will reserves for himself.)

jonathan doesn't have a clear understanding of boundaries in st1; it doesn't seem like he's invading nancy's privacy because he thinks she's hot, but rather because he's fascinated by the artistic sense of it all - he doesn't seem to immediately understand the implications of what he did, not like that excuses anything. jonathan has a very hard time making friends with people (he has 3 friends if we're being generous, one of them being his little brother), and also has a hard time handling negative emotions, frequently lashing out in anger. very easily autistic.

but joyce is probably the most overtly autistic character on the show. she is constantly shown to be on a completely different wavelength from everyone else - whether she's fixated on something as obviously concerning as her son's disappearance or as seemingly ridiculous as malfunctioning magnets, joyce will tune out everything else to reach a conclusion.

in st1, she notes how people might think she's crazy for thinking will was alive - but she doesn’t care. in st2, she continues to fight against authorities for something she can't let go, being the state of her son's mind. and in st3 she realizes that things are still wrong in hawkins, so much so that she's completely oblivious to the fact that she stood up hopper and that he's very upset. she's too busy telling him what she learned about magnets from mr. clarke. joyce can have trouble reading the room, but her intense fixation on keeping her loved ones safe is only indicative of her care for them. joyce is almost objectively autistic.

all of this makes it all the more likely for will himself to be autistic.

8. other notes

will has other traits that allude to his likely being autistic; these only really add to the previous points. a number of these details are from tvtropes or were found by @/elkdiaries in this post.

will stims when overwhelmed, as do autistic people; sometimes he sways back and forth, sometimes he fidgets with his hands. it's notable how in st2, bob, one of the few people to understand will, brings a number of puzzles - almost like fidget toys - for will to occupy himself with.

will has a collection of stuffed animals; many autistic people have collections of things they're interested in, such as rocks, trading cards, or in this case stuffed animals.

will can't control the volume of his voice very well, it being incredibly quiet most of the time; many autistic people share this problem.

will loves to draw and engage with his creative side, which many autistic people share; autistic people often think in a more visual way, not to mention how important self expression is to them.

will isn't particularly good at smiling; he doesn't smile too often, but when he does, it's more often than not slight and lopsided. facial expressions are harder for autistic people to convey than they are for other people.

conclusion

if you've gotten this far, i have to thank you for taking the time to read. will byers means a lot to me as a character for several reasons, and his being autistic-coded is part of that.

will is a wonderful, complex character within the wonderful, complex show that is stranger things; i only hope that every nuance of his character will be expanded upon in the coming seasons. his trauma, his queerness, his neurodivergency, his relationships - will is a very important character for so many people, representing so much at once.

i hope my theory/headcanon can help you continue to find meaning in this show and this community. thank you so much.

[miss-smutty]

Forbidden

Chapter 3

A/N- Evey couple of chapters you will get Professor Hemsworth's POV and this is the first one 🥵 I really wanted to write his story and hear his thoughts too.

Summary- He can't get her out of his mind, the girl in the coffee shop. Will fate bring them together again?

Word count- 2.9K

Pairing- Prof!Hems X Reader

Warnings- Age gap (OC is 20) student/professor relationship, swearing, dirty talk

18+ Only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 5th Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle @help2700 @presidentpotts

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chris Pov

My Apartment was silent as usual, empty like always when I arrived home from work, throwing my coat and bag on to the sofa and slumping down next to them.

I couldn't stand the silence, it taunted me and brought back memories I'd rather not remember. I'd thought about getting a roommate but still hadn't gotten around to posting out an ad, the idea made me nervous. Although I hated being alone, living with a stranger would be even worse. I turned on the TV to fill the expanse of the large empty room that I'd work so hard for but ultimately meant absolutely nothing to me.

My mind began to wander back to this morning and the chance meeting with the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. She'd taken my breath away and made me so nervous that I'd used some cheesy chat up line. I'd known at the time it would come back to haunt me tonight, no wonder she ran out of there as soon as she could. Thats why I hesitated, my hand brushed against the small of her back when I was about to ask her for her number and it took away my sensibility. I leaned in like I was about to kiss her, thank god I stopped myself though, how ridiculous would that have been?

I'd spoke to her for no more than ten minutes but somehow felt like I'd known her all my life. Asking for her number wouldn't have been the most unusual thing but she was in such a rush and I didn't want to make her late. There's absolutely nothing more I hate than tardiness.

I still couldn't get her off of my mind, she was beautiful, long dark hair that flowed down her back and the most piercing green eyes I'd ever seen. I couldn't stop looking into them, framed by dark eyelashes that made the emerald green pop even more. It's been a long time since I'd met a woman that made me feel as nervous as she did. The only thing is, she was young, much younger than me and I'd be fooling myself to think I'd actually stand a chance with her. Even if by some miracle I did, she deserved more than what I could give her, I was a mess, even after all this time I was still living in the past.

**********

I woke up feeling like a teenage boy again, a tent of my erection in the cotton sheets sprawled across my middle. I'd dreamt about the girl all night and honestly nothing about it was innocent. I rubbed at my eyes and stretched my muscles before finally getting out of bed, I had my first Junior Comms class to teach today and of course, I couldn't be late.

To say I was dreading today would be an understatement, I'd made a deal with the Dean to teach the Comms class because none of the other professors were willing and I was desperate for a job. I was hoping that if I exceeded expectations during my first semester I would finally get to teach psychology like I'd planned in the first place. Of course that meant being on my best behaviour and a lot of arse kissing, which I would do, albeit reluctantly.

The air was crisp this morning as I set off walking towards the university, luckily for me I didn't live to far away from the campus and the walk would help distract my thoughts because God knows they needed distracting. They always did.

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the halls, looking up at the architecture of the building and realising my idea to walk obviously hadn't worked. I'd barely paid attention the entire time and it was only muscle memory that had gotten me to my required destination.

I held onto the door handle of the lecture hall and took a deep breath before stepping in, the room erupting into wolf whistles was not what I expected but admittedly better than what I was thinking. I scanned the room and my students, rolling my eyes at the girls lining the front row, their eager faces taking me in. 

The class was full of typical students, the usual cliques you see at every educational institution. The jocks and cheerleaders, the nerds and oh fuck. The air was almost knocked from my lungs when I spotted her sat at the back of class. The girl I'd been talking to in the coffee shop yesterday, the girl that had been on my mind and in my dreams ever since. She was here, right in front of me which meant she was my student and younger than I'd actually thought. Fuck.

Even though she was now out of bounds I couldn't take my goddamn eyes off of her, the way her wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders. I could feel my cock tingling when my eyes fell to her low cut top and that unreal cleavage. I pulled my eyes away from her so as not to draw attention and focused on preparing for the lesson, leaving the students to whisper for a while longer while I recovered my composure.

Like a magnet, my eyes unwillingly kept finding their way back to her and she looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. I was making her uncomfortable and I still couldn't stop myself, I frowned as I subtly watched her cheeks blush and realised she's probably embarrassed because she'd been flirting with her Professor. Of course she'd be embarrassed, I was so much older than her but was it wrong that I didn't feel one ounce of awkwardness at the fact I had been flirting with a student?

All I could think about as I watched her tits bounce as she moved In her seat, was burying my face in her cleavage and I knew I had to look away before my dick reacted. The last thing I needed in a class full of students was to be walking around with a fucking erection.

I could stand there and watch her all day but certain students had stopped talking and they were waiting for me to speak and I'd almost forgotten why I was here In the first place. I really needed to get my head in the game, being infatuated with a student would definitely not get me the promotion I was looking for.

I pushed my hands in my tight pockets, hoping to stretch the fabric a little so my semi-hard dick wasn't so apparent, then my eyes were drawn to her again and she was talking to Jake. That pissed me off and I could feel my jaw tensing as I cleared my throat rather forcibly, hoping to get the attention of the whole class at the same time as distracting her from the rather friendly conversation she was having with another guy. A guy her age at that.

"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." I looked at her again, gulping hard when I saw her with the end of her pen in her mouth and the way her lips wrapped around it. Fuck. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." I looked to her and she smiled, remembering what we spoke about yesterday.

A student started with the typical Australian stereotypes although I'm actually surprised no one told me to throw another shrimp on the Barbie. I laughed along anyway, I'd been expecting it, it's literally the first thing anyone who isn't Australian says when they first meet me. So when I told him it wasn't very original I meant it, I'd heard it a thousand times before and I'll hear it a thousand times again.

I told the class a little about myself before informing them they would do the same, it didn't go down well, the room filled with groans. I looked to her and she looked downright terrified, I sympathized for her, it wasn't easy speaking in front of a room full of people but was the best way to break the ice.

"Claire Abbott." I called, watching the blonde at the front stand, nervously. She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger as she smiled at me, I knew what she was doing. I quickly glanced at the girl from the coffee shop as she rolled her eyes at the blonde at the front, I smirked back at her, amused at her tolerance for predictable girls.

"I erm… I don't know what to say?" The blonde said, looking at me questioningly.

"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind."

"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I had to stop myself from laughing when she rolled her eyes again but the smile soon disappeared when I saw Jake lean over to speak to her and the way she laughed at him made my blood boil. I was seething, not because they were speaking instead of listening but because she was speaking to him instead of me.

"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" I called them out, my voice more stern than I expected. I was pissed off that Jake would easily be able to get to know her and I couldn't. She stared at me, her eyes wide, she was surprised I'd called them out in front of everyone which made me even more pissed off because that probably blew my chances even more. What the hell am I thinking? What chances, I need to remember I'm her fucking Professor.

She sat silently through the rest of the class, I still couldn't keep my eyes off of her and thankfully neither could she. She looked flustered and I liked it, I liked that I could make her feel that way without even touching her. She was so goddamn hot I could hardly concentrate on what the other students were saying.

When I glanced down at the sheet of names in front of me and saw Jake's name my jaw clenched.

"Jake Hudson." I couldn't help narrowing my eyes as he stood up, I just knew he'd say something cocky and I was so fucking jealous of him right now. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, I needed to keep my cool, especially in a room full of students and her. If she knew what I was really like she wouldn't look at me the way she did.

"Hi, I'm Jake." I bit onto the inside of my gum, that bit of pain keeping me grounded. "I'm also from Australia." He gave me that fucking cocky half arsed smile I'd been waiting for and the adrenaline shot through me. I was thankful no one noticed apart from maybe the one person in here I didn't want to notice. She was watching me carefully. I had to loosen my tie a little as he continued to speak, I was burning up with rage.

I'm glad class was almost over, I needed a stiff drink and I needed it now. I looked at my sheet of names again and there were only a couple left, I wondered which one was hers. I needed to know her name. Fuck. I needed to know everything about her.

"Jessica Watson." She stood up. Fuck, Jessica, it was a cute name and fit her perfectly. I was mesmerized with her and the way she spoke as she tucked her long hair behind her ears. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." She looked right at me, what was she going to say? "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." Oh fuck. Was she talking about meeting me? Or Jake? I like to think by the way she studied me as she spoke, she was talking about me. This was wrong, so wrong but why did it feel so right? I forgot there was anybody else in the room, my cock twinging as I pictured myself fucking her on this desk. I needed to stop thinking like this, it's unprofessional and completely immoral. I shook my head and turned back to the class.

"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." I looked at Jessica. "Some of you, not so much." Then raised my eyebrows at a group of guys in the middle of class that had used thier time to inform everyone about the party at their frat house this weekend. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." I looked at her one last time, hoping she'd use this opportunity to come and speak to me.

I sighed when I sat back at my desk and a group of girls took their opportunity, I wasn't in the mood for it but answered their questions anyway. I didn't take my eyes from Jessica, especially when Jake started speaking to her again. The girls in front of me were taking up my time, trying to flirt with me instead of asking relevant questions and I was over it.

"Do you actually have any questions about the course ladies? I have other things to be getting on with if not." I was a little short with them without actually meaning to be. I just wanted them out of my goddamn way so I could see what was going on with Jessica and Jake.

The girls finally left, more like stormed off but I couldn't care less right now. She was still sat at her desk which means she waited until I was alone which has got to be a good sign. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence driving me insane so I cleared my throat and she blinked like I'd woken her from a daydream. What was she thinking about?

She packed up her things into her bag slowly, I could tell she was buying herself time but I felt relaxed now we were alone, in fact I felt excited which was completely ridiculous. I felt like a damn teenager.

"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I was amused and I needed to break the ice before the silence got the better of me. I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.

"I erm…" She walked towards me, down the stairs, looking at her feet. She was unsteady and looked nervous as hell, was she going to tell me to back off? "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, I was glad she wasn't too close. I don't know if I'd be able to control myself around her and lord knows I had to. The atmosphere was tense, neither of us really knowing what to say or do, all I could think about was ripping off her clothes.

"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" I cocked my eyebrow at her, testing her, seeing how she would react to my comment. Something changed and she didn't look quite so nervous anymore.

"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." The way she called me Professor stirred something deep inside me, a hunger I didn't know I had and when she moved closer to me I began to feel nervous.

"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" She was so close now, I could smell her sweet scent of coconut shampoo. I wanted to touch her badly, I didn't though. I didn't dare because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself and I must restrain, she's my student after all. It's wrong. It's forbidden.

I still couldn't stop myself from flirting, like an uncontrollable impulse and as soon as I opened my mouth to try and be professional I would just go right ahead and flirt. She was so outrageously attractive but the kind of attractive where she didn't know it and didn't flaunt it, which I found even more endearing.

"I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." My restraint was really being tested now, she was teasing me, egging me on and the fact she'd also been fantasising about me made it extra difficult to resist. I had to loosen my tie again, I needed my fingers to be busy so I didn't touch her. I had an internal conflict going on inside my mind and it was like torture, if this was day one of class how the hell was I meant to survive the whole semester?

"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" Fuck sake. I ground my teeth together, I was glad she was leaving, I couldn't take the tension any longer but at the same time I knew, with distance the desire would only intensify. She turned to leave and I couldn't stop myself watching her hips sway as she walked, her ass was so round and bouncy, it hypnotised me and that's when I knew I was in deep trouble.

[obislittleone]

Intelligent Insanity

4/?

Jerome Valeksa x Reader

Okay so usually I rotate the chapters I write and post everyday between this series and the bruce one, but I have a request to fill, so after tomorrow I will actually be writing the request instead of another chapter for this... but then I'll be right back to it the next day don't worry.

Series Summary: Two lives can start very differently, but it's never the beginning that makes the story. It's the the journey the lives take that eventually bring them down the same path.

Chapter Warnings: mentions of murder, fluff

I'd heard a buzz of rumors lately from around the hallways, and inside the cafeteria during lunch and dinner time. I didn't anymore attend breakfast, because I would much rather sleep more. I have a tendency to stay up into the night, trying to practice talking so that others can hear me, but alas, no one usually does when I try it out in the light of day. Yesterday's lunch was when I heard about getting a new inmate. I didn't catch the name, or the crime, but I did recall hearing about the time of arrival, which was today.

I was sat in the common room, my hands spelling about a hundred different words every few minutes. I watched through the wire fencing along the wall of the room, seeing them bring in a boy. He was innocent looking, and about my age, too. Maybe he was like me.

I waited for them to bring him in here, which took several minutes given the time they probably made him change into one of these awful uniform jumpsuits. When I heard them unlock the gate, my gaze snapped from the floor to where he was standing. He'd locked eyes with me for a split second, then journeyed further into the room.

"Fresh meat." One of the inmates said... the rich one, I think. He wasn't all that threatening, but still gave me the creeps.

The boy stopped in his tracks when he reached the tables everyone was sitting at. He crossed his arms and shook his head, confidently turning and strolling towards my table with a look of determination.

"I think I'll sit here." He said, pulling out the chair right across from me and sitting down. He leaned both elbows onto the table and rested his head on his hands.

I smiled genuinely at him. At first glance, he was attractive, with thick red hair and blue grey eyes. He had several freckles marking his pale skin, and it gave him a charming and boyish look.

"So... what do they call you, pretty girl?" He smirked slightly, but the tilt in his head made his question seem sweet and innocent.

I opened my mouth to speak but then an inmate from across the room piped up to the kid across from me.

"Hey genius, just a heads up, fidget doesn't speak." He got the red headed boy's attention and nodded to me when he said the word fidget, then he dropped his head back to whatever strange game he was playing with the other men at his table.

The boy turned back to me and I feared that with him having known, he would leave and walk away like everyone else did. He furrowed his brow and let his lips draw into a thin line. He leaned closer and squinted at me before sitting back in his seat.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to introduce myself first then, won't I?" He paused, shrugging his shoulders like a child would do. "I'm Jerome."

He held his hand out to shake, and with a smile, I took it, opening my mouth to speak again.

"I'm Y/n." I said with a low scratchy voice.

He furrowed his brows yet again, and leaned in close like he did before. I was confused until I heard his reply.

"I thought they said you couldn't talk?"

In that moment my eyes went wide and I'd not been able to stop a wide smile from appearing on my face.

"You-" I chuckled a little having made the realization. "You can hear me?"

"I can, yeah. I wonder why they can't..." he pulled his hand back from mine and let it rest by his side while he scanned the room, glancing over at the other crazies.

"Maybe we're not as crazy as they are." I suggested, but he looked back and shook his head.

"Wouldn't be too sure about that..." he said as if he believed himself to be like the others. Surely someone so gentle and innocent couldn't be like them. He seemed like an angel.

"What are you in for?" I asked with a slight rift in my tone. My voice did feel kind of strange, like I hadn't used it in forever, though I did, everyday.

"Chopped my mom up with an axe." He said without even a second thought. I was a little surprised by his confession, though I hadn't heard the whole story yet...

"Did she... hurt you?" They weren't the exact words I was thinking of, but they would suffice.

"Just about a billion times... but who's counting?" He joked, revealing a light hearted and startling laugh. It was fantastic, and I wanted to hear it again. One time hearing it and I was already addicted.

"So it wasn't really murder, then? It was self defense." I tried to offer a better seeming impression of his outcome.

"No, it was murder..." he said, leaning back on the table and looking up at me while he rested his head on his hands which were flat against the cold metal surface. "You know, you don't seem crazy..."

"Maybe not actually crazy, but in the eyes of the law, pushing my uncle off a thirteen story building wasn't exactly an act of sanity." I said, leaning forward to meet his eyeline as he smiled in repsonse to my words.

"What'd he do?" He wanted to know all the dirty details, thinking it was of malicious intent.

"He tried to get into my pants... several times. He came at me on the roof one day so I pushed him." I said flatly, as if it wasn't one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. To be quite honest, speaking about it now was not as bad as I thought it might be.

"Oh..." He did his gentle head tilt again, and seemed to have let the mood be dampened, even though just a minute ago he was talking about how his mother was chopped to bits by his hands and an axe.

"Yeah... after that everyone seemed to not be able to hear me. Maybe I'm crazy after all, because I've been talking all this time." I said, shruggung my shoulder and leaning back to my chair.

Jerome puzzled for a minute, using his brain to put some pieces together. He might be out of his right mind, but his intelligence was sharp as a knife.

"Why do they call you fidget?"

I heaved a sigh and held up my hand other hand, which had been under the table till now, demonstrating why that very fact was.

"I fingerspell all my words as I say them. I'm not sure why, but I suppose that's what got me my nickname." I set my crazy right hand back at my side, and looked back to see the boy was slightly amazed.

"Interesting." He held a look of bewilderment upon himself as he sat quietly for a few moments. I wondered what he was thinking, for the gears in his head were so obviously turning. He looked me up and down one more time before speaking again. "Alright, I've decided."

"Decided what?" I curiously raised my brows and waited for an answer.

"You don't look like you've got any friends in this joint, and seeing as though I just got here, I don't either." He explained bluntly, using theatrical facial expressions and hand gestures. "So I decided, we'll stick to each other while we do our time."

I lit up with a bright smile, nodding my head along in agreement of his decision.

"Seems logical."

Tags are open!

@gabile18

[bitty-bits]

The First Post Always Sucks

The humble beginnings of a fucking blog in the year 2022

Welcome to Bitty Bits! This will be a blog for basically posting about what I have been up to, without having to dig through my Twitter for it. Essentially a small "digest" type thing, with some personal thoughts as well.

Oh yeah, this is also still Tumblr which means you can do all the... Tumblr things.

Finally, regarding the newsletter button at the bottom - I have no idea if that will even work. Not many people want to do that these days. But if you'd like to help me figure that out... subscribe to it and next month we'll see.

That said you can still use the RSS feed with no problems.

Now on to today's topics...

Ninjin Cartoon In English - Preservation Efforts

(Image: Pocket Trap/Cartoon Network LA)

Alright, so who or what is Ninjin, and why should I care?

After only having known the series because of it being of brazilian origin, I finally decided to see what it was all about this year, and maybe have a hyperfixation on it as it usually happens. It all started with a humble little indie game, called Ninjin: Clash of Carrots (available on most platforms).

It managed to be enough of a hit that an animated series even got picked up by the Latin American division of Cartoon Network! Things were getting exciting. It would take a while for the show to solidify itself though - starting slow with 1-to-3 minute shorts, then later having "full episodes" each with 7 minutes, consistently. The first five of them are publicly available to watch for free on the official CN LA/Brazil YouTube channel, much like the other shorts. The rest of the series, now also known as "Corta Essa, Ninjin!" (which roughly translates to "Cut It Out, Ninjin!", and can) would then air on Cartoon Network, and be streamable on HBO Max. But there was something curious that I noticed at the end of some of these episodes - dubbing and voice acting credits (much like most streaming services), and that included an American English dub.

Curious about it, I tried to find any information about it online, but got nothing out of it. This was starting to look like a lost media case. But once I figured that there was more to this series than just the content posted on YouTube, I knew I'd have to do one thing - get an HBO Max subscription... and that's what I did. Not to my surprise, the English dub was there... ...but who in Latin America would be watching it over the Spanish dub or the original Brazilian Portuguese audio? That was the question I had, and still have. But at least, the dub was found.

...now whether or not it was worth finding it is probably something you can draw your own conclusions about. But efforts have been made into preserving this dub, and making Ninjin media in general more accessible, all right here in this MEGA folder. It's still, of course, highly recommended that you (if you have an HBO Max subscription) just use a VPN instead to get access to the show legally, but there are also no subtitled versions so...

Startpage vs. DuckDuckGo in 2022

"Online privacy is but an unending pissing contest." -Me (Images: Startpage.com/DuckDuckGo.com)

I am very much not a "privacy neat freak" like many people when it comes to , but alternatives are always welcome.

So it was pretty cool to know that Startpage.com was basically Google without... the not so great aspects of Google. To be fair I knew nothing about that website period, and thought it was some sort of homepage speed dial/link collection thing that you'd see in the 2000s, maybe I was getting it confused for something else entirely.

I've also heard elsewhere that DuckDuckGo was basically the same but with Microsoft Bing. Now I'm not sure how true that is, but it would make sense too.

But of course, having used Google for the longest time, I was more inclined to go for Startpage.com - and having tried to use DuckDuckGo before, I would definitely miss some of the more "convenient" aspects of Google search, even if it meant being tracked in a very not "Don't Be Evil" manner - But then I quickly started to have problems regardless.

As a researcher of lost content and more specific things in general, using search operators (such as using quotation marks) was essential. But Startpage would always, and it still does, to this day, prevent me from doing so. I'd be greeted by a quite threatening looking screen, misidentifying me as some sort of robot, or search request abuser. All I did was add quotation marks to my query... Filling in the help form or reaching out to them on Twitter did nothing to help.

(Image: Startpage.com)

I really don't know if I am the only person having this issue. I am not doing anything that is listed over there. It also does not seem to be an issue with my Wi-Fi connection, as this still happens to me with mobile data, and in every browser I've tested.

It is probably worth mentioning the controversy that DuckDuckGo got into fairly recently, when they decided to downrank "russian disinformation" from the search results, which made all the heavy users of linux and wojak memes (this very specific demographic) very upset. #StandWithUkraine

What can be upsetting to me about this though, is the inconsistency with claims, as DDG had flexed their "unbiased results" feature in the past more than once.

I could also go on for quite a long time talking about how the heavily advertised "Brave Browser" is probably one of the worst and most shady things that the internet of recent years has seen (and why Vivaldi is much better in every conceivable way, not sponsored btw) but that might be a topic for another day...

My April Fools Thing Will Probably Be Very Predictable

You and your April Fool jokes. I don't think that's funny! (Image: Popeye - Cookin' With Gags/Famous Studios 1955)

And very hexagon shaped. That is all.

End of Post

Initially I wanted to have a lot more in this post but quickly realized how tiring it is to write all of this, so I'm going to try to summarize a lot of it.

Paused Gaming™

For most of my teenage years the times I actually sat down to play a video game were not many. Most of the time I'd play the games I already knew, and newer things would usually just be "one-offs", and I'd also playtest stuff I'd make myself more too. Not a lot of "unfamiliar games" that I've finished. And during the pandemic that got worse. As such the last "actual game" that I still haven't finished was... SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom. Hopefully that changes this year, and after that I'm playing OMORI. I'm not a real gamer. I only play mobile games

New Snap On Redbubble Soon

Enjoyed this one for whatever reason? I'm adding it to my redbubble shop... eventually. Not now.

A.I. Voices - Where Are They?

I still do want to bring more fun text-to-speech voices to Uberduck but my focus and priorities kinda shifted a bit as I got tired of going through the entire process of training voices. Sorry. It's a neurodivergent thing. One day the interest will be reignited.

Content Creation

If you haven't heard, I've reopened my music commissions on YouTube. That's one thing. But as said in many wall of text™ videos that I posted on my main channel, I want to do more varied stuff, and especially use my voice more. But it's hard as an autistic individual and "vocal underdoer", who speaks for probably less than an hour total in a single day.

One day I just hope to get just enough motivation to step out of my comfort zone!

Conclusion

As rough as life is right now, especially in my country, especially in my position, I've been having some small victories here and there, and making this blog was probably one of them. (Either that or a mistake)

Bitty's Message of the Day

Keep on dreaming! ...I couldn't think of anything better

[aceofthegreenajah]

Wot Episode 7 non-spoiler notes

Okay this time I didn't forget to take notes on my first watch so here comes episode 7. Which I loved so much fklfkshdfla -

Deep breaths. Okay. Here we go. Every note that's not book spoilers, then I'll do a separate post with book spoiler notes. Things in () at the end are clarifications I wrote while typing this up.

- Padan Fain is in the recap! I wonder...

- She's unreasonably badass but if I can forgive the idea that she came to battle while pregnant I can forgive her kicking ass while this is happening (english pregnancy vocabulary nonexistent and I don't care enough to change that)

- Gah don't show me the birth *shudders*

- Aw sweets he's probably safer than you (About Mat, and Lan knows this is true as well, truly we are on the same wavelength.)

- I like the lighting fine but where's the lightning coming from?

- Eqwene can take it. Rand let Loial speak I think you need to know this.

- Perrin has super vision, I'm jealous.

- A bit too dark for me now. I had to go and draw the curtains and it's still too dark for my tastes. I mean it's the ways so it's not wrong, I just have horrible vision and don't like having to strain to see.

- Whistling. Oh, and that's why they made the lightning - trolloc jumpscare.

- Oh so we are going to see Fal Dara! I think I was supposed to know that, there was a shot in a trailer or something, but I'd forgotten it since they were trying to make their way to eye. I thought that might just be one of the cuts they had to make.

- Machin Shin looks - not like I have imagined it. Not bad, just, I think the changes will take a while for me to adjust to.

- Why are you so angry looking (in first look at the Fal Dara leader)

- Yas! Why am I so invested in him? (At the waygate)

- Min! Min is here!

- Moiraine that's ruthless. Very in character. (I did actually like it when it happened, but then later when Moiraine knows, it invalidated the necessity of this. If you had waited for a day you would have known and you wouldn't have needed to do this! Nobody's fault, just argh.)

- Friendship moments! Give them all to me.

- Forecasting Siuraine tragedy I see

- Egwene is always the clearheaded one. All the common sense and emotional maturity got dealt to her, everyone else got just droplets.

- Nice, calling attention to Moiraine being fallible

- No decisions are getting made today I see

- Will we get Lan backstory this episode?

- Moiraine you can't push him away, Lan is 90% loyalty and 90% badassery. Yes I know that's too much. Do I look like I care?

- Is this the family that raised him?

- Yes bring Nynaeve in!

- Ooh? Ooh! Don't flex dear I like you better natural. Nyn doens't need to be impressed she already likes you. (Seriously the Lan flexing while Nynaeve comes in threw me out of the story entirely. I know it's a hollywood convention and might be execs meddling but really!)

- Is now kiss time or speech time?

- Aww sweethearts I love you both (egwene/rand scene)

- Sir you have big hands (Lan)

- Flashback time? Flashback time.

- Min Min Min!

- Aww teasing Egg

- I love this plot choice

- Moiraine your hair! She really left straight from bed huh?

Overall this episode only had one thing I didn't like and I see why they did it (Machin Shin changes) and one thing I sighed about (the argument towards the end between two rivers folk) otherwise stellar!

[zeondraws]

Okay so I thought of making a post showing all my art related books. I shall begin with DC comics

I am a fan of the Legion of Super-heroes, it is unfortunate that they don't get alot of attention in todays media and are barely known in Germany. I had to import a bunch of them from America which was already a hard task to find a seller who'd be willing to do that. But I got them either way!

Only thing I didn't read here was this thick book I bought at a comic store all those years ago, somehow it doesn't speak my interest that much but it also showcases all the appearances of the legionnaires in the old comic books.

Then I have these 4 magazines from ImagineFX, I find the content really cool where they showcase so many different artists I haven't seen before. Also the old magazines have the extra content on a website where you can easily access the downloadable files of any other magazine from that time by editing the URL. Tho alot might not be useable or because I don't use Photoshop. Well I could pirate it, but also I am spooped of catching viruses.

These ones got recommended to me by a friend, I am so amazed of Simons works and the way the storytelling takes place. I wish to be able to draw like him one day, it would be so cool to be able to properly visualise everything I'd imagine.

Oh boy this is a big bunch.

I haven't read all of them thus far, my school stress and worries made me not touch some of them at all since purchase, but I'll try to change that the coming months.

I wasn't a big fan of Conan and Metro, it's not my taste in comics. Perdida for example was a really neat one with a huge twist at the end. It honestly flabbergasted me.

And Myre + Radius are my favourite ones among these comic books. They're the first ones I purchased from Splitter Verlag.

Oh boy and here we have all my books from 3D total (tomorrow I'll get a few more)

Some I still have to read, two I already finished and 3 of them I already started reading.

I got the Composition & Narrative one on Christmas day. The Hermes delivery guy was also playing music when he was at the door. Like a Santa Claus haha.

These ones are from all different kinds of book retailers. I saw the Procreate one in my local bookshop and was like, "I need that" and it helped me greatly.

I remember importing the Legends of the Guardians book directly from Australia. It took a while to arrive but it came in December of 2020? I believe. Really gorgeous artworks in there, I love owls so much.

4 of the books were gifted to me, which are equally as cool. I loove the animal anatomy books I got from my dutch friend.

Last books I have here are from different things. Firstly blender... I, I know there are free internet tutorials. But I am stupid so I need a book where everything is written down so I don't melt my brain trying to google a solution. It's reaaaally big

I haven't read the Nier artbook yet, but maybe soon.

The other two are as seen from avatar and alita battle angel. I went through both of thwm and really enjoy the contents presented in there. I still remember watching Alita back in the cinema, I was soooo mindblown by everything, and the OST of the movie just rocks.

Oh boy I don't think my artbook obsession will ever stop, they atleast greatly help me learning new things for my own artworks. Yes there are youtube tutorials but I also would like to read up on things.

I can't wait to look at the contents of my new books tomorrow. I must absorb the knowledge into my brain!

[ashtraythief]

I know that Jared goes crazy for Jensen in bed, but it seems like Jensen is always driven crazy by Jared. I'd like to see a snippet where Jensen drives Jared crazy in bed.

Apologies for the super late reply. Really, I had plans to get to all of this sooner, but *waves hand at life in general* 

So, I didn’t exactly manage to get there yet. Like, this is an excellent prompt. And something I absolutely want to write, because it absolutely happened. Definitely less frequently than the other way around, but Jensen certainly had his fun with Jared. Especially when he came back from a trip maybe, or when he wanted to “punish” Jared for taking him to a super boring business dinner. However, when I started on this ages ago, it went kinda off the rails into total schmoop territory. Ahem. Anyway, I’m cleaning out my inbox, so I’m going to post a little snippet of what I have now, with the promise that it will expand into a timestamp called Realizations in which Jared slowly realizes just how gone he is for Jensen. Which will include him going crazy over Jensen in bed.

I hope you’ll still like it, even though it’s not exactly your prompt, and again, sorry about it being so late. I imagine this takes place sometime at the end of their first year together.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes Jared forgot. He saw Jensen every day. Every way. Saw him with mussed hair and squinty eyes, sleep still clinging to his lashes in the morning. Saw him yawn and scratch his belly, saw him brush his teeth, put deodorant under his arms. He saw him sweaty and flushed, saw him clipping his toenails, saw him pull grimaces when he worked out. 

Of course, Jensen was still beautiful then. In a way that Jared got used to. But then sometimes, Jensen was lounging in the armchair by the window reading, the light hitting his eyes in a way that made them light up bright green and made the freckles dance golden on his skin and Jared could only stop and watch him. Sometimes, Jensen played with the dogs in the backyard and his smile was so blindingly bright Jared couldn't breathe. Sometimes Jensen arched his back in that sinuous curve and Jared lost his mind. Sometimes, even though Jared was used to him by now, sometimes Jensen’s beauty still took his breath away. 

Like now, when Jensen was making a late entrance to the Nine.

He was wearing a simple black v-neck and light gray jeans that were basically painted onto his legs. They showed off his bowlegged swagger and Jared had the sudden urge to watch Jensen ride him, hands bound to a chain in the ceiling, only being able to ride Jared’s dick by working his strong thighs. 

“You okay there, Jared?” Chad’s voice was amused. 

“Fuck you,” Jared shot back. He knew the hunger must have been showing on his face and he tried to relax. “Chicago’s number one skirt chaser does not get to mock me for fantasizing about a hot piece of ass."

Jared didn’t take his eyes off of Jensen. Just like the rest of the people in the club, men and women alike whose eyes were filled with incredulous wonder or naked hunger. 

Chad laughed and poured some more whiskey. They were more than a few drinks in and Jared was pleasantly buzzed. They’d closed a new deal today, bought a little more harbor property through a bunch of shell companies that couldn't be traced back to PadaSystems and they’d started celebrating at the office. But it wasn’t a celebration until Jensen got here. 

Jensen reached the booth and security let him through with deferential nods. In the beginning they hadn’t paid him much attention, but by now everyone had caught on that Jensen was important. He wasn't just the fuck of the week, a pretty bedbunny. He was the real thing. 

“Hey babe,” Jensen said and his deep voice wrapped around Jared. "I see you started celebrating without me."

Even though there was a hint of teasing in his voice, Jensen’s eyes were warm and fond. 

Jared grinned and raised his hand to signal their waitress. “I'm sure you can catch up.”

She brought Jensen’s usual bottle of champagne, and then Gen joined their booth and she and Jensen started discussing an exhibit Gen wanted to run for publicity and wanted Jensen’s input for. To Jared’s right, Chad was talking with Rosey, and for a moment, Jared was content just to have Jensen’s back pressed against his outstretched arm on the backrest of the couch, watching Jensen talk with Gen.

Hearing Jensen talk about art and business, Jared was once again struck by how sharp Jensen’s mind was, how smart he was. Strong and independent, too, and he was still here with Jared. And Jared would give anything in the world to keep him. Forever. 

Fuck. 

Chad slidled up next to him. “Why do you look like someone just hit you on the head with a two by four?" 

“No reason.” But Jared wasn't looking away from Jensen quickly enough. 

“Of course,” Chad said softly. “Who do I need to kill?”

Jared snorted. He pulled his arm away from Jensen and leaned forward to reach for the bottle of whiskey to top of his glass. “No one. You can’t fix this one,” he told Chad quietly.

“And what’s that?" Chad asked, watching Jensen talk to Gen.

“I want him.”

“You have him.”

Jared shook his head. “Forever.”

There was a pause. Then Chad slowly turned to look at him. “Forever?”

Jared nodded. 

“As in married forever?” 

“Don’t worry, he’d never say yes,” Jared said derisively. 

He thought of his and Chad’s vow to be bachelors on the prowl forever. They’d made it when they were still at Stanford after Jared had broken up with Chris, his only boyfriend before Jensen. Chad had come out of one of his messy one month relationships with a model and both of them had sworn never again. Too many obligations, too many compromises, not enough fun, not enough freedom. And Jared had never wanted to date again. Had never been tempted by anyone. But Jensen had crashed into his life, gotten under his skin with the first defiant words he’d spoken and Jared had never found a way to stop wanting him, not even when Jensen had left him and Jared and hadn’t known, not for sure anyway, if he’d ever see him again. 

“Hmm.” Chad let out a long, thoughtful sound. “You never know. Jensen—” 

“Don’t.” Jared didn’t need false hope. 

“Alright.” Chad's hand landed on his shoulder, squeezed once. “But just because he wouldn’t agree to a legal claim on him doesn’t mean he’s not gonna stay. And I mean, do you really care if the government says you’re married? 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about what the government says.”

“So what’s the big deal?”

“I want everyone to know that he’s mine.” Jared’s fists clenched. “I want him to say, publicly, in front of the entire world, that he’s mine. I want him to promise that he’ll be mine forever and I want him to mean it.” 

“Ah.” Chad patted his shoulder several times. “Good luck with getting him to say any of that out loud. In front of witnesses.” Chad let out a short laugh. “Man, you’re so fucked."

“Thanks, asshole.”

That moment, Jensen turned back to Jared. “What did Chad do now?” he asked, had obviously caught the end of their conversation.

“Nothing,” Jared said, having trouble controlling the wild feelings in his chest. “Come here.”

Jensen came willingly, with a knowing smile bordering on smug, but he came, and Jared pulled him in and kissed him, didn’t give him room to draw back, to breath, just took his mouth, deep and absolute, until Jensen was panting heavily.

“Jesus, Jared, what—”

“We’re going home,” Jared said, trying to control his uneven breathing. “Now.” 

Jensen stared at him, swallowed, but then nodded. “Yeah, okay.”