#if i have any actual japanese readers i am so sorry because i don’t even know what i wrote

[art-fries-87]

I have been drawing i swear 😓😓 it’s just, un-postable, but instead of not posting just have a drawing

[mixvyu]

Parfum d’étoile - episode twelve part two

scaramouche x reader smau

previous | masterlist | next

★-

"Weren’t you suppose to be smart?"

"Fuck off Scaramouche, this shit just doesn’t make sense how am I supposed to link those three completely different subjects together?"

"I hate to side up with him, i really do, i swear, but it’s actually kind of easy frankly the hardest is to pick which info we keep and which one we ditch."

You could Scaramouche snicker beside you but you decided not to give him the time of day

"Let’s just save that and come back to it later, yeah?" You suggested, trying to shift the conversation to another topic.

“It’s getting late we should probably just call it a day" Kazuha said, looking at the time on his phone.

"Thank gods i don’t think i could spend one more minute working with her" Scaramouche added, pulling out his own phone "What do you guys want to eat?"

"Aww, you’re not throwing me out? I’m flattered, Kuni." you emphasised both of the syllables of the nickname.

You could hear Kazuha choke on his 4th cup of tea of the evening "Wow I didn’t know you guys were close like that" he said in between coughs.

"Neither did I. Don’t call me that." Scaramouche replied, almost instantly, while looking deep into your eyes. The humour in his demeanour long forgotten.

"Why does Kazuha get to call you that but I can’t? It’s unfair if you ask me." you said, trying to lighten up the mood even just a little bit.

"I’ve known him for more than a decade it’s completely different." discomfort settled in before Scaramouche continued with a more lighthearted tune "What food do you like, Y/N?" The question made you sigh in relief. Maybe he wasn’t mad, maybe it just caught him off guard.

"I like Italian food!" You exclaimed enthusiastically at the thought of a meal that you wouldn’t have to pay with the small amount of money left in your bank account.

"Ok so not that. Kazuha?" Scaramouche followed, eyes focusing on the other man beside you.

"Japanese sounds good right now" he answered immediately. He looked so focused on the ceiling on top of him the fact that he even listened to Scaramouche’s question had you shocked.

"Can’t believe you out of all people is letting me down."

"Sorry, a sacrifice had to be made." Kazuha teased, still looking at the beige ceiling

Scaramouche replies a lazy "mkay" to his friends request and gets up to call a japanese restaurant he apparently already had in his contact, probably because of the frequency of take-out the two boys regularly ordered. Judging by the fact that he hadn’t asked any of you what you wanted to order, you assumed he already had his and Kazuha’s orders memorised and that you’d just have to be okay with whatever he’d order for you.

If he even ordered for you, that is.

"What in the world possessed you to call him that?" Kazuha hushed voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

He wasn’t looking above him anymore and gave you what appeared to be an alarmed looked.

You didn’t get what he was talking about at first, but without thinking much you realised this was about you stealing the nickname he used for Scaramouche and the not-so-great reaction that followed.

"I just wanted to get his reaction, didn’t think he’d get all serious." You explained. It was simply reasoning really.

"Yeah, he really doesn’t like his birthname. At all."

"Why?"

"Uh… I think it’d be best to ask him directly." Kazuha said, looking away for the first time during the conversation

"He’d kill me if i did that!" you whispered-yelled

He looked back at you, then looked to the left. He seemed deep in reflexion, pouting a little and letting out a small "mm" sound before staring at you again "I don’t think he’d do more than manhandle you a bit, frankly, maybe a punch of two."

"Why are you acting like it’s nothing much?? I don’t want to get punched or manhandled! At all!" You grabbed your own cheeks out of instinct, as if you were protecting yourself from Scaramouche’s imminent hit.

"Then you’ll have to live in ignorance." he shrugged, grabbing one of the snacks on the table before realising that dinner will arrive any time soon and putting it back down.

"Can’t you tell me instead?" You pleaded, attempting to woo him with puppy dog eyes

"I don’t want to be the one he’ll pick a fight with." The wooing was ineffective

"I sacrificed Italian for japanese food, you can sacrifice that!" you were shaking him by now, you’re sure that, if he’d ask, you’d go as far as to plead on your knees for him to give you the answer you so deeply wanted.

"It’s not remotely close! You can have Italian later but i can’t get unbeaten up!" He said, still whispering

"You’re just a coward."

"What are you guys whispering about?" Scaramouche came back, having seemingly finished his phone call.

You were sweating a bit and your eyes were wide open, you looked like you’ve be caught red handed.

A long "uhh" left your mouth, you looked back at Kazuha hoping he’d be the one to find a non-suspicious reply to give to the man standing in front of you both.

"You."

You wanted to slap him so badly.

"What about me?" Scaramouche raised an eyebrow, suddenly curious of the topic you guys were discussing, and you couldn’t blame him : if someone told you they’ve been murmuring about you behind your back (literally), you’d be curious too.

"Y/N wanted to know why you changed your name."

You kicked Kazuha’s legs and he let out a soft, almost inaudible, "ow"

Scaramouche squinted, analysing your face. You gulped nervously, praying that there was an option other than the punching or manhandling.

"Not telling." He simply said, making a "umph" sound as he crossed his arms.

You simply looked at Kazuha, who was already looking at you, amused.

"Sorry, i might have exaggerated." he stated, a huge grin creeping on his face

Before you could curse him out he got off of the sofa for the first time in hours. Right as he got up, the purple head let himself fall down on your other side, apparently tired from standing for 5 minutes.

"I’ll go get the cans of beer i bought" the white and red haired man said, stretching before making his way to the kitchen

"You bought beer?" Scaramouche asked enthusiastically

"What? You didn’t even unload the groceries?" You could both hear him from the small kitchen, the sound of rustling through the groceries he bought some hours ago making itself audible

"No, I was lazy so I just put the bag up on the counter and left."

Kazuha sighed and mumbled "There was ice cream in there…"

He came back a few seconds afterwards, a pack of six cans in hands.

"Ooh nice." Frankly, you didn’t really like the taste of beer but maybe drinking with the two guys would make you all closer and you were excited at the thought.

Scaramouche leaned in and whispered into your ear "Don’t get too excited, he’ll drink all of this before you even get the chance to lay your hand on one of the can. He has a serious substance abuse problem."

"Maybe you should call a doctor or do an intervention or something." you whispered back

"He’ll be fine. Probably."

— timeskip :3

Not even 2 hours later, Kazuha was already asleep. His lower back resting on your laps and his head on Scaramouche’s who used that as an opportunity to play with his friend’s hair, undoing his signature ponytail and trying out a variety of haircut on his longer hair.

A comfortable silent had installed itself, only the soft sound of the raindrops crashing against the window was audible.

Your phone was next to you but the idea of being on it during the moment felt impolite. You glanced at Scaramouche, for the nth time since Kazuha fell asleep, a small smile was plastered on his face.

Being abled to run his fingers through Kazuha's seemingly soft hair apparently made him euphoric.

The sight of the two boys made you chuckle, a chuckle that Scaramouche caught up on.

"What's so funny ?"

"You look so happy, it's unsettling."

"I never get to touch his hair, it's super soft."

The conversation ended here but, for some reason, you wanted to keep the conversation going.

"I didn't know they made them cropped."

"Huh?" Scaramouche finally looked up to you.

"The compression shirts. I didn't know that there was cropped ones."

"Ooh!" He looked down at his shirt as if he'd forgetten which one he put on "I don't know if they exist cropped. I cut this one myself to show off the piercings." he let out a chuckle, a low one, before staring back down at Kazuha's sleeping face.

You looked up at the clock.

10:29pm

The gates of the school closed at 11:30 which meant you still had an hour to learn more about the boy next to you.

Scaramouche had always intrigued you but now that you were closer to him you really wanted to get the answers for all the questions in your mind.

You looked at his face deeply, analyzing the features of his face.

Scaramouche really was a pretty boy. Big purple eyes complimented by the red eyeliner he wore everyday, porcelain skin, long fingers and a small frame. He looked so ethreal, almost like a doll.

Scaramouche picked up on the looks you gave him, he could feel you staring without even looking at you.

"If you have something to say just say it."

‘You look really pretty’ was what you wanted to say to him— because he did look really pretty.

But you uttered something completely different in the end,

"Why’d you change your name?"

He groaned before looking up at you for the second time in an hour.

"I didn’t like it. I already told you."

"Yeah but why?"

"Why do you even care anyway?"

"I don’t know, you’re an interesting guy, i just want to get to know you more." You shrugged as he raised his eyebrows, not really convinced by what you were saying.

Since he wasn’t replying you added "You don’t have to tell me! It’s just— I’m just curious is all."

He chuckles lightly and says in a serious tone "I know I don’t have to, I don’t owe you anything."

Silence installed itself again.

God why did you have to be so pushy about it ? He obviously didn’t want to tell you, it’s some personal issue that he only share with his best friend, you’re not remotely close enough to be given the same amount of trust than his best friend of a decade. He was warming up to you and you ruined everything : Why do you always ruin everything?

You fidgeted with your fingers, trying to find something to make it up to him. Maybe you should just apologise again or—

"It’s just that…" all of the thoughts in your head suddenly went quiet as he started to speak "…I don’t like the history behind that name. It being related to my mom and all, you know?"

You actually did not know.

You never heard about Scaramouche’s mom before so hearing him mention her was surprising.

"Ooh so it’s like a mommy kink typa thing!"

"I’m pretty sure you meant mommy issues but whatever." he sighs before mumbling "I don't even know why I'm telling you that."

"I won't call you that again if it makes you uncomfortable"

"No, it's fine, you don't have to stop."

"Scaramouche?"

"God, what now?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

The man in front of you paused before straightening his back and laughing softly

"What's with all the questions?"

"Dunno, just curious I guess. Don't you think it's fun? It's like 21 questions."

"21 questions? How old are you?"

"You're the one that wanted to play last time"

"Really? I don't remember that."

"I know you do stop lying."

"Why do you even care ?"

"Just say you're a loser virgin, no need to circle around it."

"it's the pot calling the kettle black." he mumbled

"What did you say ?"

"Nothing. No I'm not dating anyone."

"Not even Kazuha ?"

"He's just with me for money, i don't surround myself with that kind of people." He answered while braiding the man's hair ironically.

"Oh so you did know!"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing! I don't mean anything!"

"What about you?"

"Me? I didn't even know you wee rich before Kazuha said it"

"No dumbass! I was asking if you were dating anyone."

A huge grin crept on your face "Why? You wanna take me on a date? I'm flattered really but I'm not interested, sorry."

"I wouldn't go on a date with you even if my life depended on it."

"No I'm not dating anyone. I'm not the kind of person people want to kiss apparently." You laughed quietly

'God why did i say that' you wanted to slap yourself—the last comment was really unnecessary.

"You think so ?" Scaramouche asked but you didn't answer. He continued anyway " I'd kiss you."

"What?"

"Huh? I said I'd kiss you." He repeated, nonchalantly.

You were sure that he just said that to tease you and that he'd reply a sing-songy "Nothing" when you questionned him, but he looked as serious as ever.

"Ah- uh really ? You think ?"

"Sure, probably."

You looked at the clock again and Scaramouche's gaze followed yours.

10:58pm

"Is it time for you to go home ?"

You nodded yes subconsciously even though it was a lie, you still had 30 more minutes before the gate would close.

"I'll help you clean up before I leave" You said looking over at the table decorated by dozens of sheets, multiple empty cups of tea, various snacks, an opened small packages of edibles that magically appeared into Kazuha's hands during the evening, empty Dr. Pepper and beer cans and three dirty plates stacked on top of each other.

"It's fine, it's not a huge mess I can take care of that myself."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah it should take me 5 mins at best. Let's go, I'll walk you home."

"Oh you don't have to!"

"It's 11pm and your house is close anyway, it's fine."

"I wouldn't want to bother you."

"God you're so fucking annoying, let's just go!"

"Ok! Ok! Geez..."

— timeskip :3

The walk back home was bathed in silence. You wanted to speak up but you knew how much the man beside you hated small talk.

You don't know when exactly you became cautious of what he might think of you knowing that you would've done everything to see him in pain just a week prior.

Maybe it was because he was rapidly warming up to you for some reason, probably because of the proximity forced onto the both of you; you talked to him more these past 3 days than you ever did in the 2 years of being his classmate and self-proclaimed rival.

You didn't know why but you liked the feeling of being closer to Scaramouche, despite all the rumours he was easy to talk to and you could now imagine how a man like Kazuha would find himself drawn to him.

If Lumine could hear you she'd be dissapointed.

Even though he was kind of nice, you still hated parts of him especially those cocky smiles he'd give you that signified that he thought he was better than you in every way, shape or form, or the fact that he always seemed to surpass you in grades but still didn't put up any work while on the project a few hours earlier.

God he was so fucking annoying.

You couldn't refrain yourself from slapping him in the back of the head harshly.

"Ow!" he exclaimed loudly, more surprised than actual hurt "What the fuck was that for?!"

"You're so fucking annoying, Kuni." it was your second time using the nickname and you hoped that he wouldn’t react badly this time.

"I didn't do anything! I-! You-! I wasn't even talking!"

"Your aura threw me off."

"Yeah well I'm sorry my aura isn't good enough for you!"

"I appreciate the apology. You should go home now."

"What so you're just going hit me and throw me away? That's hurtful."

"I live right around the corner and it's..." you checked your phone "...11:13 so you should probably head back. Plus you're tired so you should just sleep."

"Tired? I'm not tired, what are you talking about?"

"Huh? Didn't you say you started talking nonsense when you were tired ?"

"When did I speak nonsense?" it was a real question this time, just by his face you could understand that he was currently replaying the entire day in his head and asking himself when he fucked up

"I mean you literally said you'd kiss me" You looked confused but not as confused as Scaramouche was

"Yeah and I meant that."

"Just- Just go home, Scaramouche."

"Ok, whatever. Goodnight, Y/N"

"Mhm" You managed to mumble before he walked away

God why were you like this??

Extras :

Why do I write Kazuha and Scara so homo w each other

Sorry for the late update (i have absolutely no excuse)

In the draft i worked on at first Y/N and Scara almost kissed before Kazuha called and interrupted them but i decided against it jst because

You ever just write something , think "it's cringe" to yourself but still post it or is it just a me thing

Scara defo fell to his knees and screamed into his hand after turning a corner

Taglist! [open]

@gekkow @aemiko @veekoko @kichiyoshi @scaramouchelover4ever @sukunasrealgf @lxkeeeee @kunisblog @yukiipc @brfrtbrt @simpforsubmissivemen @featuredtofu @fanfictionenthusiast @beriiov @lyzisbitchingagain @bluebelony @ryomiye @reinoodle @bananasquash @mikukksks @sakiimeo @kitanablades @pennyluvr @sakurapeach @crystalsguitar @feiherp @deluluangel @gracefulace200 @apinu @elernity @st4romii @ahseya @yelleloww @prettiestgirlxoxo @yoichiislovie @silly-ez @mitsu-moshi

[siflshonen]

Hi there! I stumbled across your mha deep dives and I just wanted to say thank you, it really helped me understand mha a little better!

It’s frustrating being in the western fandom because a lot of the specifically Japanese ideas are unknown to a lot of the Western audience. And i get it, as a westerner myself I had very little idea as to any sort of Important Context that would be clear to Japanese readers. So I really appreciate that you took the time to even try to explain it!

With that being said, I’ve been wondering how you viewed the end of mha, and how the villains were treated. Do you think they could have been saved (or even Should have)? Could they have been redeemed? It’s so depressing for the big three (Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga) to have been teased as being able to be saved, then in the end they all just,,,die.

How do you view Izuku losing OfA? Personally, I would have thought that if he didn’t keep the power he would have become the First Quirkless Pro Hero, (there are so, SO many fanfics exploring that!), but in canon he just,,,gives up? I suppose in the collectivist view, of course he would give up. But that feels so,,,empty from a western perspective. I suppose I answered my own question of why couldn’t he be a quirkless hero lol.

I suppose I’m truly wondering how the ending of mha was supposed to be recieved, with all the cultural knowledge and everything.

I am so sorry this feels so long and disjointed, and feel free to ignore this if it doesnt make sense! (Or if you don’t have any answers, sorry for putting all this on you)

I don’t have a super well-researched and cited answer, but I can follow my heart on this one.

The only villain I’m truly sad about is Himiko, though even in that case I appreciate that she went with dignity, she went with reciprocated love, and she died as she did because it was HER choice. While I would have preferred to keep Shigaraki alive, I can’t say I miss him all that much. And besides, he regained himself and his autonomy at the end and played a part in the destruction of the thing that held him down and even the thing on which his father’s cruel house was ACTUALLY built: All for One and his meddling.

Touya’s story is tragic, but his death and the way in which it will happen is a mercy. I think it’s great when other folks imagine new endings to suit what they like, but I don’t entertain other viewpoints about his on-the-page fate.

In any case, all three of their “hearts”, if you will, were actually saved in the way most important to them. And they even got to stick it to society by refusing to give up what they wanted and be integrated into it. Death is a pretty clean and irrevocable way to separate oneself from a society, and it is an effective way to haunt the minds and hearts of those who witness those deaths and have to understand that that the person who died hated so much the idea of joining society that much.

That isn’t exactly Toya, Himiko, or Shigaraki’s character motive, but I feel like it’s worth pointing out that other cultures can view death as a kind of revenge instead of someone just trying to make the pain of existing stop. Anyway.

I kinda figured that Izuku becoming a teacher was meant to be him accepting his place in the world and indeed accepting reality now that his dream was over, which is seen as a mark of maturity to just get on with what he’s given. That Kacchan specifically spearheaded the development of his suit and was the one to hold out his hand isn’t just a character moment to show how Katsuki intends to continue to atone, I don’t think. I think it’s also because:

A) Katsuki is Izuku’s link to and representation of the quirked world, and specifically the quirked world of Heroes. He always has been, as he’s the person “closer to [Izuku] than All Might.” As long as he exists, Izuku is tethered to that world somehow and has a way to enter/re-enter it somehow.

B) Relatedly, I interpret Katsuki as an embodiment of individual will and individual’s heart’s desire continuing to remain true in the face of the collective (even after he begins to accept and work with the collective), so it makes sense that he’s the one to pursue and nurture Izuku’s “selfish” and outlandish dream of being a superhero even while Izuku himself falls in line. Put another way, Katsuki is, in many ways, an embodiment of Izuku’s heart’s desire - mostly because the two of them have the same heart’s desire.

Though, speaking as a Westerner as well, Izuku’s choices at the end of the manga don’t sit well with me, either, but this is just as much part of why I’m too much of a westerner to completely see eye-to-eye with Izuku throughout the story as it is a comment on the ending.

Most of all, I think it’s ridiculous that Hawks didn’t get Izuku’s Hero suit funded/in development the minute he took the position at the SPC, or that whatever was left of the Hero system before that happened didn’t already have it in the works. It strikes me as EXTREMELY weird.

I have other thoughts about Izuku and Katsuki’s ending, but they’re mostly reflections about other shonen manga past than anything meaningful to say here.

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 10 / ?

previous | next

TW: The reader mentions using alcohol to cope and A LOT of swearing

!There’s a lot of German being spoken in this one. Don’t worry I put the translation in brackets behind the actual words being said!

e.g.: “Guten Tag!” [Good day!]

During my time spent alone I resorted to coming to bars. Maybe in hope to stumble upon him but he was nowhere to be seen. I had tried to contact him by texting him if he wanted to meet up but I was left on read. Dazai, this fucker, had successfully ghosted me. I was increasingly becoming more annoyed and yet still clung to this idea that “maybe he was just busy”. As I said, I frequently visited different bars in Yokohama, and no I totally didn’t try to drink away the pain of being left without a warning. I was telling myself I just had to “have fun again” and what better way doing that than with several vodka shots or a cuba libre.

So that’s why I was sitting here, four weeks after not having heard from this dunce, in another bar I had already forgotten the name of. It was already late but I was determined to wait just a little longer. I knew he worked mostly at dusk. Sometimes at night. So I had hoped he may go for an after work drink. Gosh I was so stupid. I was waiting like a foolish little dog for his owner after it had been abandoned at the side of the street. Maybe that’s what I was. A silly little stray dog.

I then heard the door open.

A guy with a fancy hat entered the bar. He was about 5 feet tall. Okay, maybe 5’3. He had ginger hair and quite a strong build for such a short dude. His clothes looked expensive and his gloves seemed to be made of the finest leather. So it was even funnier to see a guy like this, stumbling around in a bar at 2 am, barely being able to stand up straight. He swung himself from one chair to the next in order to not fall. I tried not to laugh, sensing I might get in trouble for it later on.

A thing you should know about me is that I seem to magically attract drunk people. Somehow one will always take a seat right next to me at some point and then starts rambling to me about their day, their wife, their financial problems or whatever. I don’t even think I look that approachable but as someone who sits alone most of the time I get unwanted company every so often.

And that seemed to be the case once again because the guy I’ve now settled on looking like a human puss in boots took a seat right next to me. And just like expected he started to ramble, his speech quite slurred and in a loud tone. Even the bartender looked a bit frightened.

“My ex-partner is such a fucking arsehole!”

I’m not religious in the slightest but right then I was praying to God to please spare me this time.

“Like- You see this dude- That man has the audacity to just show up, at my work that is, and act like nothing ever happened!”

Fucking hell, this dude is completely nuts.

I got an idea to maybe get myself out of this situation. I looked at him in a confused manner and then spoke in the most German accent I could muster, in a mix of English and German: “Oh sorry I not speak any Japanese. Ich kann nur Deutsch. Ich hab keine Ahnung was Sie von mir wollen” [I can only speak German. I have no idea what you want from me.]

I am a fucking genius.

Mentally I gave myself a high five. This was the most genius idea I’ve ever had for sure and I could enjoy my drink in peace, then go home and watch another one of those reality tv shows that escalate way too quickly while falling asleep on the couch. This was the good life for sure. At least I thought so when I heard his agitating, grating voice again.

"Oh, warum hast du das nicht gleich gesagt? Also wo war ich… Ach ja! Mein Kollege, okay Ex-Kollege-“ [Oh why didn’t you tell me from the beginning? So where was I… Oh yeah! My colleague, okay ex colleague-]

You have to be fucking kidding me. If there was a God out there this must’ve been his punishment for me never really going to church. I just wanted to disappear into the bar before me and never return again. I would have expected anything from this night really but an angry ginger ranting to me about his ex partner was not on my list of probable events. His usage of the informal “you” also made my blood boil ever so slightly. Like dude, you do not know me and I’m of age at least be more formal. We’re not friends alright?

Yet I still tried to listen and nod along. I didn’t want any more trouble in my life and I doubted I could win a lawsuit against this guy.

“Und dann denkt dieser… Dieser ARSCHLOCH, er könnte einfach so bei uns einbrechen, weil ‘er braucht was’, und er reduziert mich dann immer auf meine Größe! Ich hab… Wie heißt das? Durchschnitt! Durschnitt-Größe!” [And then this… this asshole, thinks he could just break into our place because ‘he needs something’ and he always reduces me to my height! I have… what is it called? Average! Average height!]

I excused him his few grammatical errors. To be quite fair I was pretty impressed. He clearly had a lot to drink and let me tell you: I can’t speak German that well if I had as much as this guy had. Maybe this could be an interesting conversation after all.

“Okay ich check’s aber immer noch nich’ ganz: Dein Ex-Kollege? Ex-Partner? Der kommt trotzdem noch?” [Okay, but I still don't quite get it: Your ex-colleague? Ex partner? Is he still coming?]

“Ja!” [Yes!]

“Und warum stört er dich jetzt so sehr?” [And why does he bother you that much?]

“Weil er mich einfach verlassen hat, verdammt! This.. this son of a bitch… Er hat mich einfach so im Stich gelassen! Ich habe ihm vertraut! Und dann geht er!” [Because he just left me, dammit! This.. this son of a bitch… he just let me down like that! I trusted him! And then he leaves!]

He takes a deep breath then hits the bar counter, making me jump. He then looks at me.

“Ich bin mir sicher, für solche Leute gibt es einen ganz bestimmten Platz in der Hölle. Ich weiß, ich werde da auch landen, aber er hat ein VIP-Ticket.”[I'm sure there's a special place in hell for people like that. I know I'll end up there too, but he has a VIP ticket.]

Oh shit that got real deep real fast.

“Das hört sich persönlich an… Ganz sicher, dass ihr nur Kollegen wart? Nich’ mehr? Oder interpretier ich da was falsch?” [That sounds personal... Are you sure you were just colleagues? Nothing more? Or am I interpreting something wrong?]

I can’t tell if the red on his cheeks is from the alcohol in his system or if he feels called out.

“Weißt du was? Lass uns Wein trinken!” [You know what? Let’s drink wine!]

My eyes widened. I may be able to pay for cheap liquor but I’m definitely not going to order myself expensive wine just for fun. Maybe I should make that clear. He already seemed to order the most expensive bottle of the house.

“Oh sorry aber dafür hab ich kein-“ [Oh sorry but I don’t have any-]

“Ich zahle, du hörst zu. Deal?” [I pay, you listen. Deal?]

I just nodded.

“Warte… Wie heißt du nochmal?” [Wait… What’s your name again?]

I stopped and stared for a second. Shit. I need a name. That’s when I spotted a bottle of Jack Daniel’s behind the barkeeper. Maybe I could use that.

"Daniel. Ich heiß’ Daniel” [Daniel. My name is Daniel.]

He nodded then telling me his and giving me a handshake.

“Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara. Schön Sie kennenzulernen.” [Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara. Nice to meet you (formal)]

Oh wow so he was capable of using the formal form the whole time. But I had another problem: I was slowly realizing what kind of guy I must be dealing with here. I had heard of him before. The amount of money this dude had, the coat, the gloves and the fact that the bartender was scared shitless and yet didn’t kick him out. This man right before me was a mafioso. I began to sweat. How have I not noticed before? This was bad. So very bad.

The glass of wine was placed right in front of me just a minute later. Chuuya had already started talking my ear off. Somehow I felt sorry for him. He seemed so hurt, desperate even, in the way he talked. I felt the urge to maybe stroke his back and tell him to “let it all out” but ultimately decided against it, unsure if he even liked touch as a form of comfort. What was striking however was the similarities in our situations.

“Und dann geht er immer. Einfach so. Ohne etwas zu sagen.” [And then he leaves. Just like that. Without saying anything.]

He took a deep breath.

“Und dann bin ich allein.” [And then I’m alone.]

He had calmed down now. The anger had turned into sadness. Not exactly a better feeling but one I could deal with more easily.

“Ich versteh dich, um ehrlich zu sein. Ich wurde auch letztens erst geghostet. Ich weiß immer noch nicht, ob ich weiter warten soll. Gott , ich weiß nicht mal, ob ich ihn überhaupt als Arschloch abstempeln kann, obwohl ich ganz genau weiß dass ich ihn nicht verlassen hab, sondern er mich.” [I get you to be honest. I was recently ghosted too. I still don't know if I should wait any longer. God, I don't even know if I can even label him an asshole, although I know for a fact that I didn't leave him, he left me.]

He looked at me with a sense of pity, then looked at his glass, then furrowed his eyebrows. After that he clinked our wine glasses together and announced proudly:

“SCHEISS AUF MÄNNER! DIE KÖNNEN MICH ALLE MAL! DIE HABEN UNS NICHT VERDIENT!” [FUCK MEN! THEY CAN ALL GO FUCK THEMSELVES! THEY DON’T DESERVE US!]

I laughed loudly at that and he did too. I was beginning to kind of like this dude. I raised an eyebrow while smiling at him.

“Aber bist du nicht selbst einer?” [But aren’t you one yourself?]

His confident smile dropped for a split second.

“Hahaha! Wir ignorieren das mal.” [Hahaha! We’re going to ignore that.]

I had a lot of fun (and wine for that matter) with Chuuya that night. It felt good to have laughed again after being constantly worried for so long, not knowing what was going to happen next. He had taken my mind off of Dazai. Even if it was only for a night.

It all ended with him getting increasingly more quiet. He was beginning to nod off. He had definitely had too much to drink. How would he get home? He just meant he’d call someone to pick him up. I demanded he do it now but he seemed to struggle with his phone. He finally had enough after trying to press the buttons for about five minutes without achieving anything. I eventually took his phone.

“Wen soll ich anrufen?” [Who should I call?]

I managed to say as softly as possible, trying to show him I genuinely wanted to help.

He managed to croak a “Kouyou… Ozaki” before he finally passed out with his wine glass still in hand. I ended up asking the bartender to fish out her contact and watch Chuuya while I was outside making the phone call. The phone rung three times before someone picked up.

“Please don’t tell me you’re drunk again.”

Straight to the point. I see.

“Uhm… hi?” I ended up stuttering “Well, yes, he kind of is. Blacked out to be quite frank.”

“Who are you and where should I go to pick him up? I’m sorry if he was of any nuisance to you.”

The woman that picked up sounded rather formal and collected in contrast to Chuuya. Her voice was rather nice to listen to.

“Oh no no! He wasn’t a nuisance. Bar Mimi? It’s right next to Miyuki-dori Street, First floor. I don’t know how to describe it any better. We met here because he just started talking to me but no he wasn’t a nuisance. You can tell him I actually have enjoyed his company.”

“I’m sure I will find it.”

With that the call ended. I returned his phone to him, wrote a little note telling him I hoped he got home safely (in German of course), paid and then took my leave.

Thank you Chuuya for this completely absurd but very enlightening night.

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

[So Ophelia is spending their time alone for now. However this will take a turn in the next few chapters as we will slowly figure out what even happened in the first place. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this (less Dazai-centric) chapter! As to what is going on in my life; I am through with most of my exams for now. The big ones are in April already tho and I’m lowkey freaking out about it. (I’ll just tell myself “in vino veritas” is my preparation for the English exam haha)]

[hatredmadeofgold]

Unfortunately not a new chapter but a current status update (same text as in the link):

Sorry, this isn’t Chapter 7 yet, but a status update and I will NOT abandon this don’t worry

Hey hello, Pulsar here. No worries, this fic not going on hiatus, I just felt bad that there’s radio silence and no new chapter update yet. Also, I had no idea how to reach many of my readers in any other way because my username until a few weeks ago didn’t match my handle anywhere else, but I’ll be linking to my social media at the end of this message.

I can assure you though, I will never abandon this project. My therapist pointed out to me that writing this helps me a lot with my own mental health and recovery, so basically, I must write this as if my life depends on it. /hj And honestly, I noticed that as well after he pointed it out, and recovery is my number one priority in life anyway, so. Hope that’s reassuring enough for you guys that this fic will be finished in full, including all the additional stories, even if it takes 5 years or longer than that. I am one of those people who stick to the same main interest/fandom for a decade.

Anyway, let’s get to the actual status update:

I absolutely underestimated how much work it takes to finish the script, originally I wanted to continue writing when the script for Arc 1 is finished but hahaha that’s unfortunately not how that’s going to work out and I hate having to make people wait for ages (I am not that patient myself), but I wanted to be transparent about the current writing process 😊

Chapter 7 will come out still this month (June 2023), and I am very sure that I can guarantee that. But I recently discovered that I misinterpreted some aspects of MGR itself while watching the Japanese dub out of curiosity, and I am not satisfied anymore with the 2nd version of my script as I already said when I published Chapter 6, which the first 4 chapters were based on. Hence, I will have to edit (almost) all of them, but thankfully it’s really minor changes and additions as well as some formatting, and none of these changes affects the story so far. But if you want to, you can read them again from the beginning once Chapter 7 goes online. I will delete this announcement then and move some of the info here to the author comment section at the end of Chapter 7. With the addition of the prequel I Come With Knives, Sam got an entire backstory now that did not exist in the 2nd version of the script and it affects the story very positively. It makes it a lot more complex, a lot more consistent and a lot more enjoyable for me to write and (hopefully) also a lot more enjoyable for you guys to read. The downside is, that with the 3rd version of the script, all the additional stories also came and the ‘lore’ of Sing to Me became very fucking massive – I am not joking when I say this is nearly as complex as the Solid series – and that makes the development of the script a little more ‘difficult’. I am not a perfectionist, but my brain is only satisfied when things make sense. I have 29 script files at this point and they will become even more (but at least it’s very organised). Not that I cannot handle it, but at this point I have a small development team who help me with research and discussing ideas, giving me feedback etc. I am just a tiny bit insane about this project but in the best way possible (One of my mutuals even joked that I am a fusion of Hideo Kojima and Rohan Kishibe when it comes to being an author lmao). Honestly, another reason I decided to rework my script is also the fact that it focused too much on Raiden and too little on Sam in the first and second versions. And I think there’s enough focus on Raiden already everywhere else (not that that’s a bad thing), but Sam deserves as much attention as Raiden does – and during the 3rd script development I was sometimes scared that it would now be imbalanced in the other direction, where the focus lies too much on Sam lol. But thankfully that didn’t happen, it’s pretty 50-50. Also, I am sure that even 75 chapters won’t come close to how long this fic will be, like, at this point I believe 100-125 chapters is more realistic but who the fuck knows. I know this is insane. I am enjoying every bit of it <3

Long story short, the two paragraphs above explain why I couldn’t get back to my insane writing speed from January in which I legit wrote 5 chapters in a single month yet. But hopefully, I might get that speed back as soon as I finished the preparations that need to be done for me to continue. However, I’ll also go back to vocational school sometime around August and I’ll have to see how I manage my studies and writing together. Also, dragonfly1212 asked me a while ago that due to the amount of research that I am doing for this story if I would share it eventually, and he’s got a point. My plan is to probably make a tumblr side blog where I will share all the lore over time, as well as reference sheets, character information, inspiration, etc. Drawings I commissioned as well as ‘fanart’, playlists, and fic updates. With the amount of detail and complexity this fic project has, a ‘wiki’ certainly would help I guess lol. Since it’s unrealistic for me to finish the entire Arc 1 script as fast as I’d like to, I will do this in smaller steps instead. As for now, I have nearly finished the fine-tuned scripts for Chapter 7 until Chapter 13, which will finalise the first smaller arc of Arc 1 :D Chapter 13 is probably going to be my next favourite one to write after Chapters 5 and 6, but the fine-tuned script for it is already 8 pages long and it doesn’t make sense to split it up because it would kill the tension if I were to do that. I hope that it will NOT be extremely long, but I am afraid I will have to ‘assault’ you guys with a chapter that’s going to be over 10k words long. Oh well, please don’t hate me. With Chapter 13 this fic will also officially move its rating from Mature to Explicit. If you’re somebody who does not like to read sexually explicit scenes though, I already decided that chapters with such scenes, first of all, will not solely consist of that alone, and secondly, I will also give a marking/note in the top author comment above such chapters where it starts and where it ends, so you can CTRL/Cmd + F and skip over those. I am not sure yet how, but I might use symbols for that as well, so it’s easier to skip, especially for those of you who prefer to read on mobile devices (I am one of those people myself). Also, it’s unlikely that there will be a lot of such scenes in this story anyway, at least in proportion to the length. I care a little bit more about the plot and the drama hahaha.

Community Discord Y/N? Additionally, I’ve been asked now by 3 different people if there’s a discord server about this fic. I didn’t think people would be so curious or interested in my creative work that people would ask if there’s a server lmao but honestly? If there’s enough interest, then I might make one – and please give me feedback if you’d be interested in joining such a community. In the case I might make a discord server though, it would not be exclusively about Samuraiden, Metal Gear or any ship or fandom in particular, and not just Sing to Me, although the main focus would still be on this project. I thought, if anything, it would be a small creative exchange between artists and authors or just people who enjoy reading this story and want to talk to me about it or others as well. This server then would also have an additional corner for you to share your own creative work, be that art, writing, or any other form of artistic expression, and it doesn’t have to be fandom-specific or fanwork at all, it can be original as well. I thought that I may also use such a server to help and support other authors and artists, and maybe give feedback on other people’s stuff when I have the time and energy to do so. Additionally, I could use that server to give updates on the progress of the fic overall, which is a lot better than inappropriately using AO3 like I am doing it right now. This will be the only time I will make an announcement like this anyway.

I’ve otherwise made such announcements already on my social media accounts before, but I haven’t had them linked in my AO3 profile until recently either. You can find me here: Twitter: R3DR4G3dotEXE tumblr: R3DR4G3 Instagram: R3DR4G3.exe Carrd: R3DR4G3 Discord ID: R3DR4G3#3952 (Yes, if you read my fic of course you can add me, I’d love to chat!) Anyway! Thanks for reading, I am sorry that this isn’t Chapter 7 yet and I hope to see you guys soon! ;^;

[nonbayanary]

author’s log

Here are my thoughts as I write the HiruSena fic titled, “The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known.”

Archive of Our Own  ●   Fanfiction.Net

---

[check out the author’s log below the cut!]

Note: This post will be updated continuously, until the fic ends. So buckle up y’all, it’s gonna be a longass fuckin’ ride!

[Log 1]:  Fic Length

This fic actually wasn’t meant to be this long. Originally, I just planned on having three long chapters, with twenty-one parts. 

But then I got attached to these specific portrayals of Hiruma and Sena, and now I can’t let them go without putting these rat bastards (*affectionate*) under a microscope and giving their trauma an in-depth analysis. 

So uhhhh sorry y’all, now this story is divided into Acts 1 to 4, with (hopefully only) 69 parts for each one. 

4 Acts bcs in Japanese culture, “4″ is the number symbolizing death

And 69 parts each bcs EYYYYY 69 lmaoooo

[Log 2]:  Fic’s Manifestation Properties (part 1)

I think this fic has some powers of manifestation??? Like I know it sounds stupid, but hear me out ok

So when I wrote in Ch.2, part xi. that Hiruma used to get panic attacks, it hit me: “Shit, doesn’t this mean I gotta portray an actual panic attack? I gotta do right by the readers!”

And I was like, “Ah, fuck me in the ass and call me Satan. Even if I’ve read about panic attacks for years, I’ve never actually had any before. So how do I write them?”

And then BAM! At home, I start undergoing even worse domestic abuse and psychological torture from my father. 

BAM! I begin to have actual panic attacks. 

BAM! I start having panic attacks so often, that sometimes, I have as many as three consecutive attacks in an hour. 

At one time, it was so bad at home that my attacks were daily. 

But every night, that’s when my panic attacks hit the hardest. Because my father always came home at night. My attacks would knock me unconscious. Like, really knock me out cold, yo. Because this was the only way my brain could help me cope when my father and I were in the same vicinity.

And when I was in the absolute gutter, I would wake up in the midst of a panic attack. And then, when I realized my father was still inside the house, an attack would knock me out again. I would continue to wake up and get knocked out until I was sure he was gone. 

Past Me, before domestic abuse was bad: “Oh no, how do I write panic attacks? I’ve never had any before!”

Present Me, dead-eyed: “Oh, honey.” 

At least I now have a lotta content on panic attacks, though!!! EYYYY I’m taking my wins where I can get ‘em lmaooo

[Log 3]:  Fic’s Manifestation Properties (part 2)

So I’ve got further proof that this fic has some powers of manifestation

Past Me, panicked: “Oh no! Sena has a cat named Pitt in canon! But I don’t know how to write about cats! My family only owns dogs!”

And then BAM! The neighborhood stray cat gets killed by family’s dogs, leaving one kitten orphaned at my house.

BAM! My sibling and I pity the orphaned kitten so much that we adopt it, and start raising it as the sole house cat. 

BAM! Days later I realize: “Well, I guess I now know how cats behave. Wait — OHMYGOD, I can write about cats now!”

Like I am not saying the neighborhood cat’s death had a use, okay. That’s not what I’m saying. I loved that cat, and I grieved her. I wept for her, especially when her kitten called out for her at night. 

I’m just saying that when I start thinking, “Oh no, how do I write this?” 

Some coincidental shit happens

BONUS: Please don’t worry about the orphaned kitten. I’m taking care of her now! Her name is “King Eris” (because I thought she was male at first. The revelation of my mistake only came to me when, months later, I noticed she had a lack of a dick.) She loves headpats, playing, sunbathing on the roof, sleeping on my lap, torture, and murder. (The last two parts are about cockroaches. She plays with them in such a gruesome manner that the poor insects’ deaths are slow and painful.)

[Log 4]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: AFTG series

This fic is based on Nora Sakavic’s trilogy, “All For The Game” series. 

It’s a GAY novel series about sports, mafia, and a shitton of childhood trauma. 

It’s really worth the read if you love soul-crushing trauma from different kinds of childhood abuse, and the hope that stems from surviving your circumstances, and choosing each day to continue living anyway. 

This book is my go-to for references on school sports, sports training, healing, and a fuckton of traumatized, lovable kids. 

Because in this fic, that’s what Hiruma and Sena are, essentially: traumatized, lovable kids.

Sena’s mother Mihae is loosely based on one of AFTG’s badass characters: Renee Walker. 

The “Yes or No” moments of consent between Hiruma and Sena are actually inspired by the main couple in the AFTG series, Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard. 

[Log 5]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: TLT series

This fic is also based on Tamsyn Muir’s tetralogy, “The Locked Tomb” series. 

It’s about lesbian necromancers in space. It’s got a lot of religious symbolism (Christian), and it sometimes borders on the blasphemic, which I love. After all, my fic’s got a lotta blasphemy in it.

There is SO MUCH love and devotion in The Locked Tomb series, which is why I use it as a reference. 

The fic is, after all, tagged as “Homoerotic Devotion” (or at least, in AO3. In FF.Net, I have no such luck.) There are wholeass bucketloads of devotion in The Locked Tomb, and a lot of them are sure as hell homoerotic. 

[Log 6]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: TGCF series smut fics

I’ll be honest, y’all. This fic would not have existed if not for the smuttiest fics out there, about a god being reverently fucked by his worshipper. 

Let’s give a round of applause for the smut fics of Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù’s webnovel series, “Heaven Official’s Blessing!”

Heaven Official’s Blessing is also called, “Tian Guan Ci Fu,” or  [天官赐福]. The English fandom just calls it “TGCF” for short.

Lemme quote someone for a quick second here, to summarize the story. 

“At its core, TGCF is a story about a fallen god and his last believer; it's a story about devotion, love, loss, longing, fate and destiny, and the meaning of ‘forever’ and ‘to believe'. sure, there are other things: friendship, loyalty, the price of power etc.”

So like, taking the love and devotion of the main couple, and put it in an equation where you add a very creative fandom. BAM! The result is a myriad of smut fics full of praise kinks, god kinks, and body worship. 

Of course, a lot of TGCF fics are inspired by Hozier’s songs as well.

So like, it got me thinking: “Damn, HiruSena doesn’t have that.”

And then my thought process gradually shifted to, “Well, why can’t the HiruSena fandom have that? I guess if I wanna see that shit, then I gotta make it.”

And thus, with the vision in mind of a HiruSena story, inspired by Hozier, homoerotic devotion, and a lotta god-worshipper dynamic going on, this fic was born.

[Log 7]:  Hozier Song Lyrics

One of the recent trends in the fandoms I’ve traversed so far is this: Fics inspired by Hozier lyrics.

Lemme quote a review of Hozier’s music for a hot second, ok

“Each of [Hozier’s] songs are modern versions of traditional folklore that contain stories of love, tragedy, and hope, while also conveying strong political messages. Hozier has a way of delineating life's problems and purpose with beautiful poetry and turning it into songs that resonate with a piece of our soul.”

Like, Hozier’s lyrics are good. Like, really well-written. Even if you’re not a fan of his music—which I genuinely respect, don’t worry—you’ll find that when you read the lyrics of his songs, they really are “chef’s kiss” kinda good. 

Hozier's such a good fit for HiruSena, considering the ongoing Devil theme that Hiruma's trying to portray. Since Hozier songs have a common theme of devotion in them, it makes us all wonder: "What if it's the guy called The Devil who shows devotion in another?" There's so much to explore in that! 

How can a person as broken as The Devil, love someone who is just as broken? How can these two people find heaven in each other? There's so much symbolism, so much potential!

So it kinda got me stumped that I didn’t see any English HiruSena fics with Hozier songs in them. I told my sibling, and they just stared at me and asked, “Well, why don’t you write one, then?”

And BAM! Here we are. 

I hope that somewhere out there, more HiruSena Hozier fics exist. Even if they’re not in English, just knowing they exist would be absolutely lovely. 

And I suppose, if no other HiruSena Hozier fics have been written before this one, then I hope this fic inspires other writers to make more. 

[Log 8]:  Questions

This fic explores the following questions:

"What if it's the guy called The Devil who shows devotion in another?"

"How will Hiruma act when he's being tender with someone?"

"What if Hiruma knows jackshit about romance? What if he's just as awkward, or possibly even more awkward than Sena when he bares his true vulnerable self?"

“Why was Kurita so insistent on playing Amefuto, even back in middle school?”

[Answered in CH. 1]: “Why would Sena join a team when Hiruma recruited him through underhanded means?”

“Why does Hiruma act like an asshole all the time, when it seems as if there's no reason to do so?”

"What does it take for Mamori to go apeshit?"

"Will Sena use the knife his godmother Yoshiko gave him? What is his breaking point? Will the knife remain unused forever? What is the one thing that will drive Sena over the edge?"

Y’all can disregard this particular log tbh. I just put it here so I can keep track of all the questions I want the fic to answer. 

Also LMAO, me saying, “This fic explores the following questions,” as if it’s a goddamn thesis hhhhhh

[Log 9]:  Dedication

I honestly hope that I can reach out to people with similar trauma thru this fic. 

One of the things that helped me persevere through my hardships was: "Character A got through this! Maybe I can too!" And that's what I'm trying to do to in this fic too. 

Whether HiruSena romance scenes dominate, or whether the Hozier lyrics or the memes are more memorable, the true core of this fic is trauma.

This fic is for everyone out there who survived abuse, the people who hold wreckages inside their chests instead of hearts. 

This fic is for the people who clung to Sena's character and loved him, purely because they too were getting bullied. 

This fic is for the people who flinch, for the people who wished they were as powerful as Canon Hiruma. 

This fic is for the people who wake up, and have to talk themselves into getting up from bed each day, instead of giving up. 

This fic is for each and every warrior out there, who has to live normally even after the world did its best to break them.

This fic is for all you survivors out there. 

[Log 10]:  Hiruma crying in Chapter 2

So like, on one hand, I’m glad Hiruma’s released all his years of pent-up grief through crying. Because keeping that all inside is unhealthy and damaging

And it’s actually quite heartbreaking that the thing that actually does manage to set him off is a video of his mother cradling him close to her, when he was but an infant 

But like

Let’s be real with each other for a hot second, okay

Hiruma just fucking cried to the “I want to see my little boy! Here he comes!” vine LMAOOOO

[Log 11]:  The Backstory & Trauma of Kobayakawa Shuuma (Sena’s Dad)

Shuuma’s trauma is actually based on my own trauma, or one aspect of it at least

And that’s trauma caused by having a verbally and emotionally abusive mother.

So don’t worry about the accuracy of trauma representation here, bros, bcs some parts are based on a trueass story.

[Stay tuned, bcs there are definitely a lot more logs to come!]

[viperwhispered]

I AGREE WITH YOU ON THE JAMIL AGE GAP POST!!!!!

I’ve been playing for like two years?? I had like JUST turned 18 when I started playing and now I’m 20??? I think It’s mostly because I really like the isekai AUs (where the actual game player is yoinked into the game) and like? I’m younger than Leona still so I don’t feel too terrible yet, but I don’t know!!! I understand you and wanted you to know you’re not alone!! I think it’s really hard on fandom when you’re aging out of the media you love so much 😭

Like!! I fell into twst hell when I was exactly your ages please 😭 it’s one of the only things about being older than im starting to dread. Thankfully, it CANT be worse than teenage me realizing that im too old for aang and the gang (avatar and the last airbender) and the emotional turmoil THAT brought. Something that comforts me though is knowing that a lot of the Japanese audience is also older and working (which is why a lot of the merch is more geared towards household items comparatively to other games like this)

Sorry for the long ask!! I’ve been feeling the same way for a while 😭

(In reference to this post.)

I'm about a decade older than you, so even when I started the game I was like am I getting too old to play a game with teenagers / young adults? Like, how relatable are the teenage struggles at this point? And also because I know that the way I get attached to characters does tend to involve self-inserting and -shipping, I was definitely questioning that too, especially when some parts of fandom get so up in arms about these things (how dare I, in my early thirties, thirst after a fictional teenager), so… Yeah. It sure is something.

But at the same time, a good story is a good story and interesting characters are interesting characters, no matter what. It's not like you have to be of the same age to appreciate that.

But it is definitely a particular sort of bittersweetness to age past your favorites. Definitely felt that with Fruits Basket, for example. I had this long fic going on for reader x Hatsuharu which is still unfinished, oof, and it sure was a little strange working on this story set in high school, which I started in high school myself, but then I graduated, went on to university and all that. Like, the original spark happened when I was about the same age as the characters, and whoops time happened.

Tho I still love that story and those characters, just with added layers of experience and time, basically.

It can definitely be a little weird, getting older while the characters stay the same age. I've definitely seen (and reblogged) some relevant posts about this (not that I could ever hope to find them from the depths of my main).

Still, I don’t think aging is something you need to dread. Yes, it may and will change your relationship with some things. However, it also means you have the chance to explore new perspectives and new interesting things with a growing understanding of who you are and what you like. 

Like, not like I'm proper fandom old by any means, but getting older can also be pretty rad. Personally, I sure am more confident about doing my thing than I used to be back in the day.

And if nothing else, at least getting older means that you’ll probably have some money of your own to spend on the things you like.

[straycatboogie]

2023/04/02 English

BGM: Ryuichi Sakamoto - Undercooled

It was 35.7℃. Last night, I thought what records I would choose as the "desert island records" to post on Discord. This means that "what ones I would bring to the desert island to enjoy?", a classic question. Me, if I follow the current mood, I would choose Ryuichi Sakamoto and Fennesz's "condre" and Aphex Twin's "Selected Ambient Works Volume 2", etc. But I shouldn't forget Brian Eno (no, I should Eno's works to the urban situation), and also want to choose Little Tempo's "Ron Riddim". Referring to this kind of "desert island records" or like that, I never go to any desert island actually. But thinking this kind of selection is funny although it might look weird. If I choose that kind of books, I will choose Haruki Murakami's "Distant Drums" and a travelogue by Koutarou Sawaki. But I shouldn't forget Susumu Sogo's columns. It tells me that I would choose the same books wherever I go. Oh my gosh! I'm really stubborn.

This morning I still thought about this "desert island records". Maybe because by that thinking, I made a big mistake. I went to the workplace and started working at a wrong time. Of course, I should be ashamed of that. It would be from my autism so I have to reflect on how I should manage my tasks. I have to face this troublesome autism, so I have to share my failures honestly to let readers learn how an autistic person lives in his life. "An example of ordinary events from an autistic person". Oh my gosh. I am growing up? Today was so called "World Autism Awareness Day" but no one talked about this in my workplace. My co-workers don't talk about autism too. There is a difference between "common sense around me" and "common sense of my workplace". It might make me crazy because of that. But it's the real life.

I always have an obsession of "my life must end someday". Yes... but recently I read Jakucho Setouchi, a Japanese female writer, and learned from her words that "I am let by God to live this life". It would be a clue to live my life I guess. In short, "I will die someday" is a clear fact, but "I am not dying now" is also a fact. "I am let by God to live", then "I have to be dutiful to the fact and learn something from that fate". This is a change of thinking. I can never see this would work actually, but I shouldn't feel that I have a guilty to live, and also never have to feel sorrow to live this life. I live this life, so I want to enjoy the pleasure of this life.

This evening, I attended a online meeting on ZOOM. I made a fatal careless mistake and was being late to there about an hour. I am really sorry... but the host and other members welcomed me so I could enjoy the meeting. It was a lesson of English but I couldn't listen to the conversations, therefore I have to practice the skill of listening. At that time, a news that said "Ryuichi Sakamoto had passed away" came suddenly. When I began having an interest in music, the Japanese great group YMO was already broke up (but they got reunion later). So Ryuichi Sakamoto was already a "world famous" musician who worked distant from Japan. Therefore I felt a distance from him, but his essays delivered me some friendly essences so I started enjoying his music. I never am agree with all of his opinion. He showed some fatal paradoxes, and also had brutal essences. But, even I understand those things, I accept his great intelligence. Rest In Peace.

[ggukkiereads]

Hello!! Just a few days ago I stumble upon your blog and I'm wondering if you have some recommendations for Hybrid AUs, much appreciated if it is an OT7 and completed, but if so I will still be so thankful. (I just need some cure from the stress that modules brings) Thank You in Advance (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

🌷 Hello! welcome to my mini fic-reading land. I’ve actually received asks for Hybrid AUs (I pinned the requests in the navi) but I just have a very messy draft.

But to help you with your stress, I think I can share a few of my ongoing reads (sorry they won’t be complete but they’re OT7). But, I added completed ones I could remember too (●'◡'●)

*note: will edit this later and organize this per member - maybe add other fics I’ll remember*

Fic Recs | BTS Hybrid AUs

→ A Place Called Home @agustdakasuga -  OT7 x Reader

series [27/27] | 88k | Hybrid AU, Poly AU, Soulmate AU, Romance Humor | Fluff

Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

→  If I Can Never Give You Peace @candlewaxandp0lar0ids - Jungkook x Reader

series [3/?] | 17.6k+ | Mafia AU, Enemies to Lovers | A (so far)

It starts like quite a few stories do, in your world. Girl meets boy, who happens to be a hybrid, girl buys him at an auction where hybrids are sold, boy falls in love with her, girl gets bored of him. Then it’s not so typical anymore, when the boy ends up forced into illegal fighting rings, until he makes a wrong move and her father decides he needs to be killed.

Where does that leave you? Well, you’re the one who handled Jungkook’s fight and generally organized his life, and, when the girl’s father, your boss and mafia leader, tells you he wants him ‘put down’, you’re the one who has to get it done. Except, instead, you let him escape, and everything turns out fine.

🌷ggukkienote: I am so hooked on this (because I am a sucker for Mafia AUs too). This is such a great story and the OC is really different from the usual OCs. Very interesting.

→  Eunoia @wishesunderthestars -  OT7 x Reader

series [15/?] | 100k+ (I just assumed this, masterpost doesn’t have wc but it’s 6k per chapter or more?) | Director!Reader, hurt/comfort | fluff, eventual smut

You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job. You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness ins’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

→  Restitution @cloudteawrites - OT7 x Reader

series [7/?] | 48k+ | slow burn, poly, mystery, romance

when an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is.

→ Lacuna @barbika1508 - Jungkook x Reader

series [42/42] | 324.3k | Hybrid AU, check for TW | Fluff, Angst, Smut

Lacuna - (n.) a blank space, a missing part

Y/N just wanted to go back home, to enjoy her peace and quiet away from problems and people. But typically, her luck strikes as she stumbles upon a horrific scene of two guys mistreating an already beaten down hybrid. Will she take matters into her own hands and help him? Or let someone else help along the way???

🌷 This is on AO3 and I got a recent ask about author’s tumblr.  So if you prefer AO3 you can check their profile

→ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne- OT7 x Reader

series [12/?] | 88k+ | Hybrid AU, fluff, angst, smut |

In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate. Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.

🌷 This is on AO3. I don’t normally reco AO3 since my blog is focused on tumblr fics but someone sent an ask about this so I’m including it

→ Inferiority Complex @starlightauroras-writes - Jimin x Reader

series [10/?] | 88k+ | political themes, themes of abuse (hybrids) | A, S

You had never liked hybrids. You disagreed with their very existence, and you never wanted to have anything to do with them. And then one day, you discovered a hybrid who was more scared of you than you were of him, and everything changed as you realised you were the only hope he had…

→ Sanctuary @chimchimsauce - Jimin x Reader

series [16/16] | 20k |  Wolf Hybrid!Jimin, Barista!OC, feat sanctuary staff Taehyung, hurt/comfort | F, A

YN is a young girl, bright and ambitious, but due to her busy schedule, she's been unable to make any real friends. When an ad for Saint Mary's Sanctuary catches her attention, she never expected her life to be changed by a certain hybrid named Jimin.

→  Summer Nights @marginalmadness - Jungkook x Reader

series [4/4] | 23k | Hybrid!Fantasy, Romance | F, S

A freak weather anomaly leads to a chance encounter with a rabbit-hybrid, and your kind nature results in you gaining a small, fluffy lodger, who questions your taste in television shows. It’s won’t be for long...will it?

→  Risk it All @/httpjeon - Jungkook x Reader

series [5/5] | 8.3k  | hybrid au, alpha wolf!jungkook | A, F, S

ripped from your family, you find yourself in a warehouse filled with predators. just your luck, you’re right across from a caged alpha wolf.

🌷 (I linked Chapter 5 because for some reason others couldn’t find this chapter so they thought it’s still incomplete)

→  Outro Love is Not Over @kiirokero - Hoseok x Reader

series [12/?] |  Daycare Teacher!Hoseok x Single Mom!Reader

You are the single mother of a beautiful 6-year-old golden retriever hybrid who you named Yunho.  But you’re a human.  You can’t show him the ropes of being a hybrid, and you can’t teach him things the other moms can.  So, when a handsome German Shepard hybrid comes into your life, helping you and guiding Yunho in a way you can’t, you can’t help the cozy home he sets up in your heart.

→  It Takes Two To Make A Thing Go Right @imaginethisbts - TaeKook x Reader

two shot [2/2] | 11k | dom/sub themes, heat cycles | S

What’s better than one dogboy lover? Two dogboy lovers. But when Tae and Jungkook seem unusually clingy, it can only mean one thing. That time of the month has snuck up on you and your dogboy lovers do not want to share.

🌷 Also try their other Jungkook hybrid series Out of the Blue

→  Peculiar Park @daydreamindollie -  OT7 x Reader

series [9/?] | 38k+ | imagines, slice of life | Writer!Reader, Psychologist!Reader, imagines | fluff

you’re a successful hybrid writer and psychologist who takes in seven hybrids on one stormy night after finding one of their pack stealing from your garden

→ Yeouiju @nomseok - Namjoon x Reader

one shot | 33.7k | Mythical AU, Hybrid AU (if you squint), suspense | A, F, S

you find an ancient stone in the middle of the mountains and bring it home with you, oblivious to the consequences of taking a dragon’s yeouiju.

→ Beautiful Stranger @/nomseok - Taehyung x Reader

one shot | 19k | circus AU | A, S, F

your dream is to take care of animals for the rest of your life in the big city, making sure that they’re cared for. but you stumble upon a malnourished, rare tiger in your local circus, and you can’t help but want to take care of him.

→ Evolution of You and I @readyplayerhobi - Jimin x Reader

one shot | 10.2k | kind of epistolary (letters), chat, childhood friends | F

For 15 years, Park Jimin has been in your life in some form. From childhood penpal’s to the closest of friends now, you can’t imagine your life without him even if you’ve never actually met him in person. It doesn’t help that you’ve fallen for him, even across the distance that separates you. But what happens when you finally meet up and you discover he’s been keeping something secret?

→  Fish are Friends @httpjeon - Taehyung x Reader

one shot | 10.2k | seahorse hybrid!taehyung | A, S, F

after moving to the seaside, there is a dreadful storm. when all is clear, a man washes up on shore…only he isn’t quite human.

🌷 you know seahorses mate for life and it’s the male that gets pregnant? Interesting huh

→  Pink Panther @gimmesumsuga - Seokjin x Reader

one shot | 13k | boss-employee | F, S

The one where your boss, Kim Seokjin, tries to show you how beautiful you are.

→  Ragdoll @ausblack - Jimin x Reader

series [17/17] | Hybrid AU, College AU | F, A

As you were studying to obtain your medical & veterinary degree, your professor came up with the idea of organizing an internship - where you found yourself side by side with a sick hybrid that needed nothing other that complete care.

→  Jagged + Catnap  @opaljm - Jimin x Reader

one shot + sequel | 18k |  jaguar/black panther!jimin, sand dune cat!reader, mutual pining, friends to lovers, established relationship (sequel)| S, F, slight A

The pretty little sand cat hybrid Jimin has been in love with for the past year experiences her first heat and Jimin would love nothing more than to be the one to guide her through it and breed her with his kittens.

🌷 there’s also a possible spin-off for Taehyung (Eye of the Tiger)

→  Owner @jessikahathaway - Jungkook x Reader

series [6/?] | 17.4k | Fake Dating AU, Hybrid AU, based on Kimi Wa Petto (Japanese anime) | F, S, A

With your mother hounding on you (no pun intended), you decided to get a little help from a hybrid, who was also in need of assistance.

→ Loving Him Was Red + Somewhere Only We Know @userseok - Jungkook x Reader

series [3/?] | 12.8k+ | enemies to lovers, childhood friends (sorta), college au, jock!jungkook, unrequited love (for OC) | S, F, A

you’ve been chasing after jungkook for years. after a harsh verbal altercation between both of you, you decide to leave him alone and pursue a relationship with someone who seems genuinely interested in you, thinking he would never return your feelings.

I would like to recommend the catalog of these writers:

@ditttiii - so I realize I’m following them on AO3 when I realized the fics looked familiar 🤭. They have an ongoing series called Enchanted to Meet You which you might want to check out if you like Soulmate AUs too! I recently reblogged a Jungkook two-shot comfort fic (hybrid au too) so I recommend going through their masterlist!

@aroseforyoongi - who I discovered because of Gossamer (KTH). It was completed but I think it’s up for re-write/re-post? You can try the others:

Navy Blue - Jungkook [completed]

Forever Yours - Yoongi [one shot, prequel to Navy Blue]

Let Me Love You- Jungkook [one shot]

@magicalsalamander - another favorite author of mine I just feel like I’m reading a great tale every time I start on a series or one shot. They have great fics with supernatural themes too

Rabbit on the Moon - Jungkook | if you’re in the mood for police officer Jungkook [6/6]

The Act of Persuasion - Seokjin | if you are in the mood for Single Dad AU x Arranged Marriage too [one shot]

Firefly that Guards the Fox - Taehyung | if you are in the mood for mystery [11/12 - just epilogue left]

Kitten’s Little Flame - Yoongi | if you like BF to Lovers between dragon and a cat [6/6]

There’s more so please check their Masterlist

@hollyhomburg - I just love Of Fire and Love (hello dragon!yoongi and baby!jungkook? 🥺) But you can check:

their masterlist of all their hybrid fics

Dance to This series which I’ve added to fic recs based on an ask about stories that include members/readers with disability.

Don’t care if it Hurts - Jimin | this is probably my favorite (again I’m a sucker for Mafia AUs) , guard dog hybrid!jimin [12/13, just epilogue]

@angelicyoongie - I got hooked after reading their stories on AO3 but they have tumblr too! Check their masterlist for ongoing hybrid fic (Abundance - OT7)  but these are completed ones:

Desolate - Yoongi, grumypy cat hybrid [14/14]

Out of the Woods - Namjoon, wolf hybrid, strangers to lovers [3/3]

@worldwidebt7 - if you like webtoons! I read parts of Jungkook’s webtoon and I think currently we’re on Yoongi’s story. Access it here

@jincherie - One of the first hybrid fics I remember encountering is Inheritance (MYG). Other fics:

Perihelion - Hoseok, college, roommate, enemies [2/?]

Butterfingers - Namjoon, teacher au, this is cuuuute READ IT if you’re looking for something fluffy [one shot]

4 o’ clock - Taehyung, single dad au (I included this in the singel dad fic recs too) [3/?]

Under the Bridge - Jungkook, found jungkook under the bridge [one shot]

@whitesparrows97 - a writer I discovered because of a Yoongi soulmate fic but I found that they also have other hybrid fics:

Cat’s Cradle - Yoongi, bestfriend [5/5]

Underdog - Taehyung, shifter, brought home what she thought a stray dog [5/5]

@foxymoxynoona - and what would my reco be without foxymoxy? So they have tumblr but their works are on AO3. I’ve listed their current works here but I didn’t include their completed works which are must-reads:

Sugar Fairy - Jungkook, mating, adopted hybrids [48/48]

A Sea of Indigo - Jungkook, ex-fighter [48/48] ⭐⭐⭐

@therealmintedmango - They have a whole masterlist of their hybrid!au fics. I recently finished Kingdom Come and I always remember Jimin from King (for some reason)

@joonbird - check their Zodiac Hybrid Masterlist of one shot per member

There are more (usually one shot per member) but I’ll probably put them in another Fic Rec List for Hybrid AUs. Sorry this list is kind of all over the place (not even organized per member 🤭). But good luck with your modules and I hope these help!

(❁´◡`❁)

[sunkissedpages]

instead of you [part seventeen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol +sex

word count: 1.5k

series masterlist

The flight from Naples to Tokyo took fourteen hours, not including the two and a half hour layover in Istanbul, meaning you had sixteen and a half hours to sit in awkward tension-filled silence next to Sam. The tension was one-sided, of course, but it was still agonizing to endure.

You had been able to push your anxiety aside during your last day in Italy because it had been so busy. There had been a power outage in the middle of the night, causing everyone to oversleep and miss the ferry for one of your tours that morning. It had been a scramble to get back on schedule and do as much as possible with the time you had left. The boys had been hungover and their parents were tired of wrangling them. You had dozens of photos on your camera roll of Sam and Harry bickering when they were supposed to be posing for a nice picture, and even more of Tom flicking them off. 

But now you were stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to use distraction as a means to escape. You tried reading your book, but found yourself unable to concentrate on the words on the page. After staring at the same paragraph for over fifteen minutes Sam noticed and asked if you were okay and you finally decided to call it quits. 

You almost wished the Hollands hadn’t scheduled in a day and a half to adjust to the time zone change. You’d rather exhaust yourself with the nonstop tourist bullshit than have to cope with the reality that you had gotten off to thoughts about your best friend’s brother. Not to mention living with the secret that the same best friend’s brother had kissed you not long before that. 

If Sam noticed anything was off, he didn’t mention it. He probably chalked it up to lack of sleep, or perhaps was too tired himself to care. 

“Which one of us do you think will be randomly selected in customs today?” Harry asked, stretching his arms above his head. 

You were standing in the aisle waiting to deplane, placing bets on who’d get searched by border agents this time. Somehow each time you traveled to a new place one of you was always chosen to get pat down or have your carry-on searched. Tom had yet to be the lucky winner, and you suspected it had something to do with his celebrity status. 

“Y/n,” Tom answered easily. “She has the U.S. passport.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like England has a squeaky clean record with Japan.”

“At least we didn’t-”

“Bro, you can’t say the b word on a plane,” Harry interrupted.

“Even when the plane’s on the ground?”

Sam shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Whatever,” Tom continued. “It’s definitely going to be y/n.”

-

“Would you mind stepping out of line, ma’am?” 

You sighed, not even bothering to look back at the boys. You already knew they were grinning like idiots and you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. The agent ushered you to the side behind a glass partition, but not before you heard another agent repeat the same question to one of the Hollands. You smiled to yourself, happy not to be the only one singled out.

Behind the privacy screen another agent greeted you and asked you to take your sweatshirt off, explaining that it was too baggy and needed to be checked. You saw other people in baggy clothes who weren’t getting pulled out of line, but assumed they didn’t have the red flag of “U.S. Citizen” printed on their identification that would be cause for any additional suspicion. You complied with the agent’s request and pulled your sweatshirt off for them to further inspect.

You were glad you’d worn a sports bra underneath your sweatshirt because you usually didn’t wear anything underneath them. As soon as your head was out of the pullover you immediately met by Tom’s polite smile. 

He averted his eyes as soon as he saw you, pausing his conversation with the official to mumble a quiet ‘sorry’ to you as he was shown to the spot next to yours. 

You zoned out as they spoke, only aware of him again when he started unbuckling his belt. You caught his eye this time. 

“Forgot to take it off,” he explained.

“Sweatshirt’s too loose.”

You both faced forward as the customs officials proceeded through the motions. You were stuck standing there half-naked with your arms wrapped around your chest self-consciously while an agent pat Tom’s legs down. 

“Dad said we can meet them at baggage claim,” Tom said after a few moments of silence between the two of you. “They went on without us.”

“Okay,” you squeaked back in response. 

You knew it wouldn’t take long, but it still made you nervous to be alone with Tom. Sam was like a safety blanket, or a buffer between you and him and without him you were afraid it would be painfully awkward. 

The woman handed you your sweatshirt back and you had to wait for Tom outside of the screening area. He joined you a minute or so later.

“They find any dirt on you?” you asked from where you were leaning against the wall across from the exit. 

“Nope, you?”

“Yeah, actually I’m in custody right now. Can’t believe you missed the handcuffs.”

“Man, what’d they get you for?” 

“Identity theft,” you sighed. 

“Damn, that’s a bummer,” Tom replied, false sympathy rolling off his words. 

He cocked his head in the direction the rest of his family had went, indicating that you should get going, and held out a hand to pull you upright. You took it hesitantly and let him help you. 

“I was actually hoping you could bail me out?” you went on, continuing with the bit. 

Tom made a sound through his teeth and grimaced. “I’m kinda broke right now.”

“Aren’t you an actor?”

“Sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“No, you’re definitely the guy!”

“You’re thinking of Tom Hiddleston,” he insisted.

“Remember that IOU you gave me? I’m cashing it in now.”

“That’s not how it works!” 

You laughed. “No, but if I ever actually get arrested I’m using my IOU to get you to bail me out of jail.”

“I don’t think that a kiss and getting bailed out of prison are comparable, but I didn’t put any conditions on that postcard, did I?”

“Nope!” You smiled happily.

“Well that’s on me, so...”

You took the shuttle together to the other side of the airport where the rest of the Hollands were waiting and finally found them with all of your luggage at the furthest carousel from the entrance. 

“It’s about time!” Harry yelled over the crowd as soon as he saw you. 

Sam grinned when he saw you and you couldn’t help but grin back. He wrapped an arm around you instinctively and you relaxed into his shoulder, relieved to be with him again. It hadn’t dawned on you until that moment just how attached you were, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because the other Hollands were all looking at you expectantly.

“Did everything go okay?” Nikki asked. 

Tom nodded. “They made y/n strip, but it was uneventful otherwise.”

You pursed your lips, cheeks burning. “It was just my sweatshirt!” you hissed to Sam. 

“Yeah, but you never wear anything under your sweatshirts!” Sam hissed back.

“I had a bra on this time.”

“Oh, so it was just another night at the bar for you?” You wrestled yourself out of Sam’s grasp at that and glared. “Am I wrong?”

Sam’s dad cut in before you could respond. He had a habit of calling “family meetings” in the middle of public spaces to finalize plans and get everybody on the same page, which was always an experience. 

“Alright, gather up, gang!” he said, beckoning you all closer. “So we’ll be staying at... this hotel,” he explained and turned his phone around to show you the name of it. “And the thing is, we have two rooms to share between the six of us. One for your mother and I, and another for you four.”

“What?” Sam asked. “You’re going to make us stay with them?”

“I thought we were getting three rooms like every other time,” Tom chimed in.

“We were meant to, but I made a mistake when booking it,” Dom clarified.

“How?”

“The entire website was in Japanese, Sam. I don’t know Japanese!”

“Dad, Google has a translate webpage option!” Harry groaned.

“Well no one told me that while I was booking this entire trip by myself!”

You traded a look with Tom, who looked just as panicked as you felt. But it would only be for a week. You would find a way to manage. You didn’t really have any other option.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Sam tried, forcing a smile.

“That’s the spirit!” Dom cheered. “We’ll make it work.”

sorry she’s short this week :( but lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

forever tags: @mischiefmanaged49 @bookingbee @cloverrover @captainbuckyy @perhaps-he-schnapped-blog @awkwardfangirl2014 @the-queen-procrastinator @tastingthestarz @sleepybesson @everythingbooknerd @sunshine96love @bitchymathematician @livingincompletesilence @melsbooktrash @swim-deep-or-die @fizzy828 @spider-slutt @theamuz @nedthegay @astroasethic @stuckonspidey @darlingtholland @sgtbookybarnes @tinyplanet-explorers @mildcockandballtorture @uglypastels @gennyld @devin-marie @r-wooooosh @hell-yeah-peter-parker @itssnowingandimstuckinside @relise-thefury @osteporosis @legendsofwholock @peterunderoos @fuckyeahhomerun @nobelwarriorheroes @delicately-important-trash @thwip-it-real-good @claryfray101 @softholand @tomhollandseverything @cool-ultra-nerd @jillanaholland @dinasaur36 @farfromhaz @hanlons-wp @moon-390 @parkerstylesperalta @httpchrisevans @screeching-student-unknown @almondholland @noisyzineeggsbandit @5sos-microwave @quackson-love @smilealways19 @quackeroos @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @wolvesofwinter @mukesnugget @mytonycinematicuniverse @itsjusttor @percysmcu @peterquillzsblog @lovewolfspirit @biebsmylife95 @a-disappointing-teen-author @justanotherusername80 @b-buckys @sunkisseddreamerr @hufflepuffprincess24 @princessxcryxbaby @tinyyoungblood @holyfrickfracks @amii-nyc @clara-licht @veryholland @captainamirica @ultrunning @cocoamoonmalfoy @nellbellzz-blog @bookfrog242 @honeymoonlover @nellabellaa @its-the-solar-system @spiitfiires @tomhollandfangirl1 @parkeromanoff @randomstufflol29 @pogueslandia @hollandswife @bunnyweasley23 @determined-overthinker @madz-holland @hi-yekaterina @rinaaa334 @elishi03 @abcxrandomx @hiraethenthusiast @marajillana

send me an ask to be added/ removed from a taglist

[pies-writes-and-more]

infatuation

word count: 1,779

pairing: Bokuto Kōtarō x Fem!Reader

warnings: maybe some swearing, a sad boi Bokuto but just for a bit promise haha also i haven’t fully proofread this so im sorry if it makes: no sense LOL 

a/n: i am falling more and more in love with this adorable himbo just look at him lol. This fic idea is honestly all thanks to @satan-ruler-of-hells​ because they are practically my muse in life so thank you satan ilysm <3 i hope you guys like it! Gif below is not mine - credits to the original creator!

haikyuu masterlist

Bokuto knew from the very second he laid eyes on you that he would love you with every cell in his body. He finally understood what it meant to be infatuated with someone (Akaashi had told him just the other week about the English and Japanese words for infatuation and almost immediately, Bokuto knew that that was how he felt about you). He looked at you and felt like his whole life had led up to this moment.

He spent weeks trying to get on your good side, though you just laughed a little at him and awkwardly slid away. But just like most people, you couldn’t avoid his happy-go-lucky attitude forever. He always seemed to leave you alone if you truly wanted him to, but he bounced around you like a golden retriever, grinning from ear to ear. You knew that Bokuto had quite the reputation to go 110% for anything he wanted to, and so you weren’t that surprised when a bouquet showed up at your desk before school after weeks of him flirting with you.

The volleyball captain stood awkwardly in the doorframe of your classroom as you stared at the flowers, a glow to your skin as you gently touched the petals. You liked him - you liked how honest he was about his feelings, how unafraid he was to show you, you liked that he talked so highly about his team members, that he even told you about some kids at another school that he had mentored for a bit. You really liked him, even if maybe you weren’t as enthusiastic in your actions. You turned to look at him, a smile on your lips making him sigh from relief. He shot you a wink and started to come into the class before Akaashi dragged him away, saying he also had class to attend to. 

When Bokuto finally asked you out, confessing to you with a grin on his face, “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I really like you, Y/N-”

“Bokuto, you left presents for me every day this week and you’ve been screaming it across campus that you like me,” you pointed out with a laugh. “I think I noticed.”

Bokuto’s jaw had dropped but he still managed to pull off that wide grin of his, “Oh! Good! So you got my signals! Would you like to go out with me then? We can go anywhere you like!”

How could you say no to that adorable sweet smile?

Everyone was well aware that Bokuto was infatuated with you, he looked for you at each of his games, spun you around in tight hugs every time he saw you acting like it had been forever since he had last seen you, and you were the second most thought about topic on Bokuto’s mind (besides volleyball, of course).

He talked about you non-stop, sometimes enough to get on the Coach’s nerves and earn himself a few extra laps. 

“-and then after practice today I’m going to go study with her because I’ve got that math testing coming up and she said that she would help me and-”

“Bokuto, you come off real strong ya know that?” Konoha chuckled, shaking his head slowly as he picked up another ball to practice serving with.

Bokuto tilted his head slightly, trying to decipher what his teammate meant, “Strong? What do you mean?”

Konoha just glanced at the team and smiled a little awkwardly, “I mean... don’t you ever think what you’re doing is a lot?”

The captain considered these words for a moment, a furrow in his brow the more he concentrated, “But... how is she going to know how much I like her if I don’t show her?”

“Just be glad she isn’t feeling suffocated by all your over-the-top acts of love,” Akaashi piped in, though almost immediately regretted it. His eyes glanced over at Bokuto, seeing the quick droop in his hair and expression.

“Suffocated?” Boktuo repeated with wide sad eyes. Could it be possible that you didn’t actually want him to do all the things he was doing? Could you actually hate everything he was doing and wish he would be different?

Akaashi tried to insist to his best friend that you obviously liked his actions enough to go out with him so he probably didn’t have anything to worry about, but it all fell on deaf ears. But the next morning, Bokuto decided that if it meant keeping you next to him, he would change how he was.

The next day, you were surprised to find no Bokuto standing at your locker with a smile and an eager story about something that happened at practice. You hung around just for a few minutes longer, wondering if he got held up somewhere, but eventually just shrugged it off, assuming he and Akaashi were busy.

But even throughout morning classes, you didn’t get any text messages, no memes being sent through any social media platforms, no snapchats of his bored expression when he was clearly supposed to be learning.

Was... something wrong? You thought back to the last time you saw him, just before yesterday’s practice, when he had covered your face with kisses like he always did and beamed when you told him you’d see him tomorrow. “I can walk you home if you’d like!” He had offered.

“You’ve got practice in like 5 minutes, Bo,” you rolled your eyes with a smile. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry!”

He had shouted some compliments at you as you left making you laugh more as you waved goodbye to him.

Had something been wrong then too as you hadn’t noticed?

Bokuto seemed to be dodging you during break times. You’d see a flash of his dyed hair and by the time you got to where he last was, he had disappeared again.

Was he avoiding you? Was this his way of trying to break up with you? Your expression tightened into a frown - after just a few weeks, was Bokuto trying to ghost you in the most immature way possible? Sure, you knew he was childish and didn’t like to hurt people’s feelings too much, but you never expected him to try and disappear from your life like this.

You knew he had practice tonight so at the end of the day, you waited by the gym, awkwardly giving smiles and waves to his teammates as they walked in.

Soon, Bokuto’s eyes caught yours and he froze, looking around for some sort of escape. Your heart dropped just a little - so he really was trying to avoid you.

“H-Hi Y/N,” he smiled nervously, slowly walking towards you and trying to see if he could maybe slip past you.

“Are you trying to break up with me?” You demanded, searching his eyes for guilt or sadness, or any sort of emotion really.

But Bokuto just stared at you with shock, his head tilting the way it did when he was confused (which was often, to be honest), “W-What?”

“You’ve been avoiding me all day. And you didn’t come find me in the morning... or at lunch... and you haven’t texted me all day. It feels like you’re trying to run away from me,” as you spoke, you felt a bit of shame growing in you. Were you just being clingy? Were you overreacting for no reason? Maybe Bokuto was just busy today. Maybe he just needed space. Maybe you had gotten used to him being around you had started getting too clingy to him and he needed to get away from you. “If... If you needed space you could’ve just told me.”

“I don’t need space! I thought you did!” Bokuto gaped at you, reaching out for your hand but hesitating and pulling his arm back suddenly. “I thought... maybe you thought I was too much. Or suffocating you with how much I like you. I know you’re very independent so... I didn’t want to chase you away because I like you so much.”

“Suffocating me?” You repeated in surprise. You hadn’t ever really considered that. Sure, Bokuto came on strong but there was a sort of confidence in it that you really admired. You loved that he told you what he thought with barely a filter sometimes, you loved that he showed you all the time how much he loved you because you were honestly sure you were unlovable for a while. But where you felt like you were the darkness, he was a gleaming sort of light. A happiness that you never understood but always envied, a courage embedded in him that you wanted to get to know more and more, a gigantic heart that you could never understand how or why it chose you. “Bokuto, I am... completely infatuated with you.”

Bokuto watched you, his eyes getting bigger and bigger as the seconds passed. He knew that word (now in two languages) and he knew that was exactly how he felt about you. He grinned and quickly picked you up into a hug, squeezing you tightly, “I missed you so much today. Trying to keep away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he whined, his smile not letting up the whole time.

You laughed and snuggled into his neck, squeezing him tightly, “Don’t go ignoring me like that ever again okay! I missed hearing from you all day. You’re the best part of my day,” you told him with a loving tap to his nose, making him beam all the more. 

“Never again! I promise! I’m much too infatuated with you to ever leave your side again, I swear!” he laughed, emphasizing his fancy new vocabulary and making you giggle. 

“Okay okay, go practice before you’re late. Then you can walk me home okay?” You told him and he jumped up excitedly, running off to make sure that practice went by quick so he got to be with you. You just watched him with all the love in your eyes, sitting in the gym and focusing on how he moved, how he soared, how powerful he was.

As practice went on, you couldn’t contain your laughter as Bokuto scolded Akaashi and Konoha for making him believe that he was too much and coming on too strong, insisting that you were the most perfect girl in the world so of course he had to show you how much he loved you.

His words just filled you up with so much joy, you could barely sit still. You were completely in love with Bokuto, but until you were ready for those words, infatuation really did seem to fit quite nicely.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added!)

@al0ehas @aurumk @neko-chii1 @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo @jesssobs @b-bakana​

[fallenwingzero]

Frozen Teardrop Volume 2 Afterword

The first half is very loosely translated (sorry my manga history knowledge isn’t 100% ^^; but I did try with what I could look up), so there may be some mistakes but the second half Sumisawa talks about some interesting points about the original GW anime as well as Heero and his voice actor, Hikaru Midorikawa.

This afterword is long so translation under the read more:

Afterword

Putting myself aside, I think the human imagination is truly amazing. Especially in the case of Japanese imagination, it is outstanding. First, the language and its writings may have reached a perfection through a Galapagosian evolution unlike any other culture.

Novels written in the style of matching words and sentences that began in the Meiji era, even in short sentences that could be said to be lacking in expression or complicated sentences that could be said to be redundant, people at the time surely imagined images and characters. I think that I was deeply moved by their emotions, and I think that it’s wonderful that this has been passed down through the generations in the current novel style.

After the war, Osamu Tezuka invented the grammar of manga, and it would have been impossible without the Japanese language to express the “movement” that appeals to the reader’s imagination with a still picture, which was revealed in a recent study.

In addition, the anime culture that followed (sorry but I will dare to write it because it is my main business) when expressing “pause (tempo and rhythm)” and “voice” in scripts etc… If it is not in Japanese writing, it is also impossible to make the person in charge of the storyboard for the next stage imagine the image. Actually, that part is the difference between the script of a live-action drama movie and an anime.

Even though it’s a light novel postscript, I might get scolded for what I am saying. However, despite the rules I have made a contract with my readers to rely on this great imagination (I would like to use the word “delusional thought” if allowed). I am aware that it is superfluous, but I am still writing here.

I don’t expect you to judge me, I just want you to feel it, and there is no doubt that this is a “floating feeling”, “tension” and “excitement” that can only be experienced now.

It’s ok to think that only the “conclusion” is important logically, but that would spoil the “imagination”, “dream”, “delusion”, “speculation” and “guessing” that the readers are currently enjoying. I don’t feel like they’re going to lose it. I am sure those that watched “Mobile Suit Gundam Wing” on TV in real time more than 15 years ago must have enjoyed it in this way.

At that time, I was aiming for a script that made hearts skip a beat, with no idea what would happen next. Now, I want to reproduce that feeling so I am writing a novel like this one. So, it might be interesting for the readers to read it with the feeling of a director or producer who decides what kind of image to make, or an actor who thinks about how to play this role.

For that reason, since there is still time, I hope that young people who did not know Gundam Wing and experience it in real time or who bought this book by mistake I would be grateful if you could pick up the “Gundam Ace” in which the continuation of this story is being serialized and send in along with your impressions in the questionnaire so you can refer to it and react actively.

It seems to be a luxury, but I will give priority to analog over digital. In other words, I would rather receive a postcard or letter than the internet. Thank you.

Well, as I promised in the liner notes of “G-Selection”, I will write the inside story of the voice actors of “Gundam W” here.

I think that the voice of Hikaru Midorikawa, who plays Heero Yuy, has a unique warmth to the coldness. And I think that that beautiful voice has intelligence and naivety that can be felt both poetically and literary. If you read the prologue in Volume 1, you will understand that the long composition where Heero uses the name of Duo without permission and recites endlessly is the one used at the end of episode 18 in the main adaption.

The dialogue, that was written by director Masashi Ikeda at the storyboard stage, and his sense of style is worth a thousand gold, and I think that style of writing and that context are the most suitable for expressing the world of “Gundam Wing”. I tried to make that style my own by copying it, digesting it and sublimating it in my own way. Thank you.

There is a famous story about Mr. Midorikawa at the time. In the 11th episode of the main story, Mr. Midorikawa made a title call, “Whereabouts of Happiness”. However, Heero does not appear in the main story. After all, in the previous story, Heero pressed the self-destruct switch.

Because he was there at the script stage, He was groaning “Uh, uh…uh..uh...”, but that scene was cut due to the scale. Even so, Mr. Midorikawa was there until the end of the dubbing. He is a nice person, but there is no such disrespect to the actors. I’m really sorry.

Nevertheless, in fact, I had made a similar mistake to Mr. Midorikawa in another work. In 1992, in a program called “Dragon Ball Z”, Mr. Midorikawa played the role of “Android 16”. Originally it was a taciturn role, but I wrote “No. 16” in the character column of my script, and it was written as it was in the dubbing script.

In the end, Mr. Midorikawa didn’t say a word, and I don’t think his name appeared in the ending telop. I can’t help but be labelled an incompetent if I make this mistake twice (!). Still, Mr. Midorikawa remembered me.

In 1997, in a program called “Slayers Try” (I was a lazy scriptwriter who wrote only one episode, but the direction and storyboards were directed by Mr. Seiji Mizushima, who later became the director of “Mobile Suit Gundam 00”. It turned out to be an interesting event), I met Mr. Midorikawa again at the party, and he kindly talked to me, and I had a great time. Really nice person.

I have a very long relationship with Toshihiko Seki, who plays the role of Duo.

In 1988 Mr. Kazuho Aki released the original operation MM series “Shiroma no Wakusei”, which was released in the cassette version of Asahi Sonorama Bunko. It was me, a newcomer, who wrote the script for the drama. Although it’s hardly recorded in official records.

I’ve worked with Ranma ½, Hao Ryuu Knight, Saiyuki, Naruto, Inuyasha, and many other works, and just the other day, I finally handed over the unopened cassette. I was able to do it. Mr. Seki, who was happy to receive it even though it was late, is a really, really nice person.

It may be useless to explain what you can’t obtain, but this cassette has names similar to “Gundam Wing” such as “Operation MM” and “Battleship Chang Fei”.

Ah, I had more to write. I’m sorry, but I’ll continue it next time.

Katsuyuki Sumisawa.

[beewolfwrites]

Hello! I'm not sure if you're taking requests rn BUT if you can could you do reader x chishiya where reader bought one those japanese diy food kit boxes where you're suppose to create a mini version of a food but this time its kind of candy? If you don't know what they are you can search it up. So, what if reader has to beg chishiya to help them with the kit but he just ends up reading the instructions to the reader and watches reader struggle. That's all, take youre time. I love your writing btw!<3

Hi! Sorry this took a short while! This was an adorable idea. I had no idea about those Japanese mini food kits, but after Googling them, they look so fun!

I haven't put out a post or anything, but yes, I'm happy to take requests! There are a couple lined up at the moment, so it's a fun change from writing chapters.

Thank you for such a fun prompt :D

-------------------------------------------

The time had already struck 10am, but there was still no sign of the delivery man. Glancing at the clock on the mantlepiece, you paced back and forth playing with the keys in your hand. Chishiya paid no mind. He was sitting on the couch, scrutinising a book on spinal surgery techniques like he often was. Well, he wouldn’t be for long. Not if you could help it. With next-day delivery, your dream of an ideal weekend with him was finally coming into fruition.

If only the delivery man would arrive.

10:02am.

You peeked through the curtains. Nothing. Not even a van.

10:04am.

A car rolled on by, and you looked out of the window to no avail. The keys tinkled between your palms as you bounced them around.

10.06am.

Chishiya finally set down his book. ‘Whatever it is you’re doing, stop doing it.’

‘I’m waiting for a parcel. I paid extra for it to be delivered by ten.’

‘It’s only six minutes late. What have you been wasting money on this time?’

‘You’ll find out when it gets here.’ You beamed at him. It was a smile that promised cuteness, cuddles and bonding time. All the things he hated with a passion.

Chishiya’s eyes narrowed. He tossed the hardback onto the coffee table just as a van door slammed outside. You bolted to the window and pulled back the curtain. The delivery man was walking up the drive, carrying a small brown package.

‘It’s here!’

Leaping past Chishiya, you ran to the door and fumbled around finding the right key to unlock it. Once you managed to get it open, you grinned at the delivery man and held your parcel close like a prize. It was finally here. Your dream weekend with Chishiya.

When you re-entered the living room, he was leaning back, eyes closed in exasperation. Now that simply wouldn’t do. You waited silently by the arm of the couch to show him the online treasure you’d found. Only, he didn’t move.

‘Whatever it is,’ he said, ‘I don’t want any part in it.’

‘Come on,’ you insisted, now pulling at his sleeve.

‘Let me rest.’

‘Please! I want to make this with you.’

One eye slid open. ‘Make?’

The moment the word left his lips, you knew you’d caught his interest. ‘It’s something we can do together.’

‘Fine,’ he said, sighing as he got up. No matter how reluctant he seemed, he wouldn’t go this far if he wasn’t at least a little curious.

He followed you into the kitchen where you grabbed a knife and started hacking into the box. Chishiya folded his arms, resting against the countertop. If he wasn’t unimpressed before, he certainly was when you pulled out a Popin’ Cookin�� Candy Lunch Box kit.

‘That’s what you bought?’ He eyed the kit like it belonged in the gutter. ‘I hope you used your own money.’

‘It’ll be fun,’ you promised. ‘I’ll let you make whichever ones you want.’

He prodded the box with one finger, before turning his nose up at the bubble font. ‘I’ll leave this to you.’

He started to head back into the living room, but you clutched his elbow to keep him from leaving. ’Please Chishiya! You don’t have to do anything. I’ll do the actual food making, even if you just read the instructions.’

He pursed his lips as he weighed up his options. ‘Just the instructions,’ he agreed. ‘You’re lucky I have nothing better to do.’

Yes! The perfect couples activity was in sight. Excited, you rubbed your hands together and motioned him over to the box on the counter. It was like trying to tempt an unenthusiastic cat. He merely looked at you as though you were wasting his precious time.

But that wasn’t going to stop you from having fun.

Opening up the Lunch Box kit, you tore into the wrapper packaging inside, finding a bundle of sachets and a blue spoon, all sitting in a grooved plastic tray shaped with different moulds. It was… well, not quite what you were expecting. You’d only really heard of these kits online, but you’d never actually watched other people make them. Chishiya picked up the packaging and scanned the small print on the sides.

‘You need scissors,’ he said.

‘Hold on a second.’ You were too busy scrutinising the sachets. ‘What am I supposed to do with these?’

The sachets were snatched out of your hand as Chishiya dumped them back on the counter. ‘Forget those for now. You’re supposed to cut into the tray.’

He reached into the cutlery draw and pulled out a pair of kitchen scissors. However, what Chishiya didn’t tell you was that you were only supposed to cut off the corner of the tray to measure water in. Now, surrounded by several pieces of plastic, you were beginning to wonder if this was a sabotage tactic.

He regarded the mess you’d made with a wry smile. ‘Well, I don’t believe I told you to cut up the entire tray.’

‘You didn’t tell me anything at all,’ you snapped.

‘Hmm. I’m not sure I like that attitude.’

You sighed, prodding the remains before you. ‘Sorry. I just… at least the moulds are still usable, kind of.’

As it stood, they were technically usable, but that didn’t mean they were easy to use. Following Chishiya’s vague instructions, you managed to mix tiny amounts of water with the powders to form candy shaped like a panda, a rice-ball, broccoli, fried chicken and even an octopus.

But with the tray reduced to pieces, the structure holding up the moulds had gone, meaning none of the powder mixtures settled evenly. So far, the octopus candy had dribbled over the sides, giving it a little too many tentacles. Half of the panda’s face was smudged. And the broccoli was missing half of its head.

You stared at the resulting lunch box, painfully aware of Chishiya smiling sardonically over your shoulder at the abomination you’d created.

‘Why does it look so sad?’

‘Because it is,’ was the reply. He placed a hand on top of your head. ‘You tried.’

If it weren’t for the pitiful state of the lunch box, you would’ve been more angry at him for his unhelpfulness. But there wasn’t a shred of anger in you. More than anything, you felt underwhelmed. The vision of the two of you trying something a little different together had been dashed.

‘Hm?’ The hand on your head jiggled as he tried to snap you out of your trance. ‘This was what you wanted, wasn’t it?’

Your shoulders slumped as the mini rice-ball toppled over. It just looked so… so disappointing. ‘I only wanted us to do something fun.’

He hummed in consideration. You could feel him mulling over his words, and right when you half-expected him to pull yet another joke, he looked at his watch.

‘It’s already lunchtime,’ he remarked. ‘There’s a new cafe not too far from here. It may be busy but they might have a table.’

Wait - did that mean?

As he began to walk out of the kitchen, you threw your arms around his waist, squeezing him from behind. ‘Chishiya! You’d really take us to lunch?’

‘Us?’

And just like that, the moment was gone.

‘I’m going out to lunch.’ He gestured to the mess you’d made. ‘I believe yours is over there.’

With a signature smirk, he detached himself from your arms and left to get his coat. You stood there, blinking in horror at the prospect of eating that sad little lunch box, before running after him to grab your shoes.

‘Chishiya! Don’t you dare!’

[monsteropoliis]

Random question but it’s been mentioned that Turbo has a “southern drawl”

That seems a little odd for a robot from Japan, was he built with it or did he pick it up from somewhere?

((Hello, nonnie! This is a great question! Sorry for not getting to it sooner - my internet where I am isn’t the best right now so I don’t have time to check Tumblr all too often on desktop, and that causes me to miss things.))

((First off, you’re absolutely right about that. A key thing to note, though, is that as a writer, I have to balance what I/my readers know and what is reasonable for the world. Because I’m primarily an English speaker and writer, operating under the assumption that my muses are speaking English is easiest. I don’t have the knowledge necessary to offer a Japanese accent or dialect for Turbo. That, and as robots, Turbo and all the others have full and complete access to any language available to them in the world. I don’t believe that accents are wholly dependent on the nationality of a robot, given that they can easily adopt any language or manner of speech.))

((So with that being said, to answer your question, I do believe this was something he developed early on for himself. My OOC reasoning was because racing is very popular in the US, and Texas in particular is something of a hotspot for autosports of all sorts (NASCAR, F1, drag racing, etc), and I just felt the accent was fitting with his personality. And I’d imagine that if he were speaking Japanese, he wouldn’t be speaking it with a Southern US drawl; he’d speak with a Japanese accent of the same... feel? connotation, I guess? Something similar, but for Japanese specifically. This is also a fascinating point with respect to translations, actually! I know that in Japanese media, different dialects/accents and even personality are denoted by different ways of writing the same word/phrase, and that’s something that is (or should be) taken into account when translating into other languages. Obviously, I don’t know Japanese, and I don’t know enough to be able to tell you what writing the same word a different way would exactly mean in the context of, say, two characters laughing (one in hiragana and the other in katagana), but it is something that does occur and a distinction does exist.))

((Ultimately, I think the accents the Masters use with various languages are completely independent to each language, and whichever accent or dialect they choose is entirely up to their personality and aesthetic. A nice example would be Shade or Shadow and the way they speak (formal and dare I say a bit archaic), compared to a Master like Bass, who speaks much more roughly. Hope this clears things up! Thanks for the ask <3))

[icedthoma]

caught in the act

Requested by @edensxgarden

--A scenario in which Todoroki introduces his s/o to his class for the first time when they catch her visiting him in the dorms 🥰 and everyone is so shook, because todo?? is dating?? and she’s SO COOL AND CUTE!!! just indulge me please 🥴👉🏻👈🏻💖

Pairing: Todoroki Shouto x Reader

Notes: This gif makes me so happy 

You were way past having second thoughts. By now you were on your fourth or fifth round of is this a good idea? Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this after all...

But Todoroki was actually the one who had suggested it, which came as a surprise to you, who was generally the most likely out of the two of you to suggest such an impulsive, rash, spontaneous idea. 

“Shouto, I don’t know,” you hissed into your phone, pacing back and forth from where you were at the foot of 1A’s dorm entrance stairs. The front door was right there, and all you had to do was step up and go through. “What if I get caught? You could get in serious trouble!”

“Is it wrong for me to want to see my girlfriend on a weekday?” he responded, a defensive tone lacing his words that would have had you snorting if not for the stress you were currently under. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, babe, but I’d rather not get you in trouble with your teachers! Besides, um, I also don’t want to intrude on your other classmates! They don’t know we’re dating, and that would be a big hassle for them to find out from me sneaking in here to see you, you know? I'd hate to inconvenience anyone.” You were sitting on the stairs now, occasionally scuffing your feet in the dirt and scanning the road every few seconds for any passerby. There was a bush a foot to your right you could dive into if need be. 

The thing was, you had never met any of his friends personally from UA, only heard Shouto’s detailed stories of whatever nonsense they got up to in the dorms. You were happy that Todoroki had found people other than you and his family who accepted and supported him the way he was, but also worried you wouldn’t be able to live up to their...craziness? That was part of the reason you had accepted Todoroki’s suggestion that you sneak into Heights Alliance, but also there was that part of you that thought you wouldn’t fit in well with his classmates. What if they didn’t like you? Or worse, thought he could do so much better than you, someone who wasn’t even studying to be a hero? It was like meeting his family for the first time all over again. 

“Well, you’d be inconveniencing me.”

You groaned. “Shouto...”

“Also, how long are you going to stare at that bush?”

“Huh? How did you--” Twisting around, you stared at where Todoroki was leaning against the door frame of the now open Heights Alliance doors, ending your call on his phone and shoving his phone into his pocket. He walked over and offered his hand. 

“Come on.”

“What if someone sees us?” you whispered, allowing yourself to be tugged into his dorm for the first time. A small "woah” of amazement escaped you as you took in the spacious common room and a room farther down that you thought was the dining hall. So cool!

Todoroki shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Don’t worry. They’re all on the third floor right now. I’m on the fifth,” he added before you could ask. 

You allowed yourself to relax and allowed yourself to truly enjoy the feel of Shouto’s hand holding tightly to yours, breath coming quick as you ran over to the elevators. Now that you were sure you would be able to make it to his room with no incident, the adrenaline rush was finally hitting you, and all concerns about possibly getting in trouble were thrown out the window. You would worry about those later. 

“This is your room?” you asked once his door was shut and locked behind you. “It’s so...”

“Japanese?” he offered. 

“...like your house.”

“Oh.”

“Didn’t you only get one day to move in? How did you do all of this by yourself?”

He shrugged. “Hard work.”

You were aware of his gaze on you as you flitted around his room, checking out his desk and peeking in his closet to snatch out a hoodie. “What?” you asked in response to his skeptical look. “It’s cold in here.”

Then you discovered he had a balcony.

“You have a balcony?” you yelled, throwing open the double doors to stare in awe at the view of the ground below, UA itself visible from a distance. “Wow, you’re really living the life.” You hated how your voice dropped in tone at the end despite your attempts to stop it. After all, you didn’t want to kill the nice vibes the two of you had going just because you were maybe jealous over the fact that he got to live with all his friends. And have his own dining hall. And a balcony. 

Of course, being the intuitive guy he was, Shouto immediately caught on and wrapped his arms around you from where you were resting your elbows on the edge of his balcony, leaning his chin on the top of your head. “Is something bothering you?”

“What? Nah,” you said, reaching one hand up to pat Todoroki’s cheek affectionately. “I’m glad you get to see your friends all the time. You deserve it.”

“It’s not the same without you, you know,” he sighed, squeezing you tighter for a moment and pressing his lips to your hair. “Mmm. Your hair smells different. Did you change shampoos?”

“Yeah! I’m surprised you could tell.” Smiling now, you shifted around so you were now facing him, the soft fabric of his hoodie providing ample warmth against the cool breeze drifting by. His arms were still encircling you, and you slid your hands up his chest to settle on his shoulders, looking at him endearingly. “And I’m not bothered at all. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

Smiling, Todoroki lowered his lips to yours in a sweet kiss that turned any remaining strength in your knees to jelly. If it wasn’t for the railing supporting you from behind, you were sure you would have toppled over from the moment he kissed you. “I’m so glad you came, you know,” he mumbled against your mouth.

A pleasant warmth was spreading in your chest that tickled you all the way to your toes. You always felt this way around him, his very presence enough to energize you to get through any obstacle. “Yeah, me too.”

After an hour of the two of you vibing in Todoroki’s dorm room which mainly consisted of you swapping stories and cuddling, it was about time you headed home. 

“Don’t leave...” Shouto groaned, pressing his face into your back as you sat on his floor attempting to stand. “You should stay here forever.”

“I wish,” you said, still trying to get up despite your boyfriend clinging all over you. “But I really should be going home before it gets too dark.”

With that, he finally relented and opened the door to his room, checking both ways to make sure the coast was clear. “Let’s go.” Todoroki took your hand in his and led you down the hall back to the elevators. 

“This was really fun,” you laughed, shoving your hands into the pockets of his hoodie you hadn’t taken off yet. “I’m glad we weren’t...” You trailed off in horror as you exited the elevator only to be met with several pairs of wide eyes staring at the two of you from the common room. “...caught?”

“Hey, Todoroki,” a pink girl called from the other side of the room...Mina, if you remembered from his stories correctly. “Wait, uh, who’s that?”

Was it too late to run back inside the elevator? 

A small ding! answered for you as you heard the doors shut behind you. 

“Um, hey, 1A,” you sheepishly greeted, blushing up a storm at the fact that their gazes were glued to you and your interlocked hands with Todoroki. “Nice to finally meet you?”

Shouto sighed. “This is Y/n. My girlfriend.”

"You didn’t tell us you were dating someone!” Kaminari shouted, twisting around on his seat to get a better look at the two of you. “Oh, and she’s cute--”

Todoroki’s eyes narrowed, and you watched in amusement as his hold on your hand tightened by a fraction at his friend’s quip. Meanwhile, the girls present in the common room all ran over to you, and you were pleased to note you were able to guess which face belonged to the names you had been hearing from Shouto all this time. 

“How did you know our names?” Uraraka beamed, hands pressed to her cheeks. 

You blushed under all this attention, rubbing the back of your neck with the sleeve of Todoroki’s hoodie that was a bit too long for you. “Shouto talks about you all a lot.”

“Really? Aww!”

“Oh my gosh, you’re wearing his hoodie!” Ashido squealed, grabbing your hand and shaking it enthusiastically. “Ah, It’s so nice to meet you even though we didn’t even know you were coming! You two are so adorable!”

“So that’s why you said you didn’t want to participate in Kaminari’s invitation,” Midoriya was saying from over on Todoroki’s side, where most of the boys were lightly teasing him. 

“Where do you go to school?” Jirou asked. “Oh, that’s kind of far...” she said once you had answered, not mentioning once how it wasn’t a school focused on heroism. 

“Yeah, I usually only get to see Shouto on the weekends,” you said with a small laugh. “But I guess we both couldn’t wait this time around.”

“CUTE.”

“Mina, you need to chill.”

“Chill? I am chill.” 

“Y/n needs to go home now,” Todoroki suddenly announced, pulling you away from the rest of 1A protectively.

“Aww, is someone jealous?”

“Please come visit soon! I swear we won’t snitch,” Ochaco exclaimed, wrapping you in a quick hug that you eagerly reciprocated. “I can’t wait to get to know you better!”

“Me too! After all,” a small smirk worked its way on your face, “I have to return this, don’t I?” You pinched the sleeve of your--well, Todoroki’s--hoodie. 

“You better,” Shouto murmured as he walked with you to the door, the rest of 1A waving you off happily. “Sorry you had to deal with all that.”

You didn’t know why you had been worrying so much about meeting his friends in the first place. “I love all of them already.” You grinned, kissing his cheek before stepping fully out of the Heights Alliance dorms. “And you bet I’ll be visiting more often with the help of your friends.”

He smiled. “I can’t wait.”

[maddieinwonder]

Bait & Switch

Spencer Reid x GN!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, super fluffy 

Word Count: 3.5k words 

Plot: Reader reveals that they’re going to buy a Nintendo Switch so Spencer invites them to go together with him. In the process, some feelings reveal themselves.  

Author’s Note: My first time writing about Spencer, and actually, my first time writing a fic in a long time haha. Just imagine that this takes place in 2017, although you don’t have to know anything about the Switch in order to read this.

Masterlist

-------------- 

"What's got you in such a good mood, baby?" Derek asked, leaning over his chair. Even without looking up, you could feel the smirk that decorated his face. After almost a month at the BAU, you didn’t need to be a profiler to expect this much from Derek. "Got a date this weekend?"

You tried to focus on your paperwork before relenting, rolling your eyes. Still, you couldn't hide the smile in your voice when you shot back a reply. "With this job? You wish, Morgan."

"Give yourself some credit, beautiful. With your looks I'm sure you could score a good looking fellow for a night you won't forget."

"I'm sure you would know all about that," you replied, this time grinning from ear to ear.

Ever since you joined the BAU, your seat has always been across Derek Morgan. The guy was a terrible flirt but also one of the most trustworthy people you knew, so you couldn't keep up a sarcastic mood for long.

"Actually," you replied genuinely, "I'll be lining up this weekend to buy a Nintendo Switch." Out of the corner of your eye, you could sense Spencer stiffen in his chair next to you.

"A what switch?" Derek asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

But before you could begin to reply him, Spencer rolled his chair over and opened his mouth. The both of you knew what was coming.

"The Nintendo Switch. A video game console developed by Japanese company Nintendo that's completely one-of-its-kind, on account of its console functioning like a tablet that can either be docked on a home console and linked to a TV, or used as a portable device with two wireless controllers so you can..."

Not being able to help yourself, you giggled at his info dump. You've always admired how much knowledge he could store in his big brain. But more importantly, you thought he was kind of cute like this. A fire would light in his eyes and it seemed like the world around him ceased to exist.

You only realised you were staring at Spencer when the last bits of his question registered in your mind. "...you going to?"

Blinking your eyes, you snapped to attention. Derek seemed to notice, because you felt his signature smirk return to his face.

"Which store are you going to?" Spencer repeated the question. Anybody else might be annoyed, but he only seemed mildly restless. A rare look for the unathletic genius.

"I'm going to the one three blocks down from here," you replied.

"So am I!" Spencer sat upright in his chair, beaming. You think that this is the most excitement he's expressed to you since you joined the BAU.

Then his confidence seemed to waver. He began tugging at the edge of his sleeve, eyes glancing to the side at nothing in particular when he asked, "W-would you like t-to go together?"

A smile spreads across your face before you can stop it. "Sure! Sounds like fun."

Spencer grinned back, and there was a moment of silence before Derek interrupted the conversation that he began. "Well, I'll leave you and lover boy to plan your date. I'm going to spend my Friday night at the bar."

Your heart thumped involuntarily at the word "date", while Derek turned to Emily. "Hey Prentiss, you want to grab a few drinks and dinner? I'm sure I can get the others to leave work for one night."

"Anything's better than this," Emily shrugged, lifting her mug of already-cold coffee.

Standing up to retrieve her bag, she smirked at you and Spencer, having heard more of the conversation than she let on. "Have a great weekend, you lovebirds. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She and Derek shared a laugh as they moved towards the Batcave to retrieve Garcia next.

As you watched them go, you feel Spencer's eyes on you and a flush warming your cheeks. You knew they were just teasing you with the word "date", but the truth is you've liked the genius almost as soon as you met him.

You may not have an eidetic memory, but you could still remember the flutter of butterflies that exploded in your chest when you first laid eyes on Dr. Spencer Reid.

He had waved from a comfortable distance, the other hand tucked in the pocket of his dark slacks. He towered over you easily with curly locks that barely touched his sweater vest, and you swore you've never seen anybody more attractive in your life. His intelligence only added to your attraction. 

"Shall I pick you up at 7am tomorrow?"

You turned back to Spencer, who seemed even more nervous now that everybody in the bullpen had left. Yet what he was proposing was rather bold compared to his usual behaviour.

“Pick me up?” You repeated.

“It’ll be easier to find a parking spot that way, and the weather report predicts that tomorrow will be a sunny day, so I know you’d rather not walk three blocks to the store.” He rambled nervously.

“You know me well, Spencer.” A cheeky smile snuck onto your face, and in a moment of false bravado, you said what was on your mind. “7am. It’s a date, then.”

Spencer’s face turned beet red.

You didn’t wait to dwell on his reaction, dumping the last of your paperwork into a pile and picking up your bag. But as you walked to the elevator, you couldn’t help yourself from grinning ear to ear. It was a date. Kind of.

-------------- 

You couldn’t sleep. You had gotten home earlier than usual, but the extra time to plan for your “date” tomorrow proved to be a bad idea.

What would you wear? What would you talk about? Should you extend it to a meal, or dessert, or maybe coffee?

Although you were confident in the moment, you were beginning to regret teasing Spencer before you left. You’d known him long enough to know how he reacted to embarrassment, and there’s a good chance he might back away because of your forwardness. 

You groaned, trying to get these thoughts out of your head. The reality of the "date" was sinking in now. This would be the first time that you and Spencer would be alone in a non-work setting. To say that you were nervous was a gross understatement. 

But there was something worse than showing up nervous, which was showing up nervous and sleep-deprived, so you turned off your bedside lamp and tried to will yourself to sleep. That's when your phone began to buzz.

You were so on edge that the sound almost made you fall off your bed. Turning over your phone, your heart leapt to your throat.

Spencer, 2:03am: Sorry to disturb you when it's so late, but I realised I don’t have your address. Could you send it to me when you're awake?

You gulped. Just relax, just relax, you repeated in your head.

Me, 2:05am: It’s alright, you didn’t wake me up. I’ll attach my address below.

Spencer, 2:06am: Thanks. Having trouble sleeping?

Me, 2:07am: A little

Spencer, 2:08am: Me too.

What was I supposed to reply to that? You silently screamed. But it turned out you didn't have to figure it out.

Spencer, 2:11am: To be honest, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.

Me, 2:13am: Why?

Spencer, 2:15am: I suppose it’s because we've never spent any time alone before.

Hearing the genius act so shy made you feel a little more brave.

Me, 2:16am: Well, I'm looking forward to the chance

Spencer, 2:17am: I am too.

Despite your nerves, you smiled at his small confession.

Spencer, 2:19am: We should get some sleep.

Me, 2:19am: I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Spence

Spencer, 2:20am: Sweet dreams.

Your anxieties were washed away and replaced with the biggest smile on your face. Without knowing it, Spencer’s words rippled a sense of calm over you, and you fell asleep shortly after. 

The next morning, you woke up with a newfound clarity. You knew what you were going to wear. 

-------------- 

Spencer couldn't stop tapping the edge of his steering wheel. He knew he was nervous, and admitting it to you last night didn't do much to stop that fact from eating away at him.

He texted you 3 minutes ago that he was waiting outside your apartment, but you hadn't replied. Although he knew that there were plenty of logical reasons why you might have missed his text, his hands didn't stop itching to call you and see if you were alright.

Then out of the corner of his eye, you emerged from the corridor and he felt his heart speed up.

You were wearing a blue flannel that he'd never seen you in before with a pair of dark jeans. Your hair, which you usually kept in a up-do at work, was let down in waves, touching your shoulders. And then there was the pièce de résistance, you were wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt with the TARDIS on it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

He didn't break his gaze on you the entire time you got into his car. Even when you beamed at him and wished him a good morning, a small yawn escaping your perfect lips, he was completely tongue-tied.

"Earth to Spencer," you called out, looking up at him curiously. "You there?"

Spencer shook his head suddenly, cursing himself internally for being such a doofus. "Sorry, uh, I was distracted. Good morning." He smiled sheepishly, tucking a stray hair strand behind his ear.

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee before we headed to the store? We can make it quick. I know there'll be some people already lining up."

He peeked at you rubbing your eyes and thought it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. “Looks like you might need it," he said without realising he'd just flirted with you.

You giggled, lowering your hands from your face. "Sounds great." 

-------------- 

Spencer wasn't lying when he said it'd be quick, although in truth you could have taken all the time in the world and you would still be happy. The initial awkwardness between you washed away almost immediately as you fell into a quiet conversation about your favourite Doctor Who episodes. 

You wanted to commit the sight of him driving in the morning to memory. The sun had just rose, lighting a gentle halo around Spencer’s messy hair and sculptured face. He was wearing a bigger sweater than usual, the sleeves hanging around his wrists loosely. While his eyes were focused on the road, his lips parted slightly as he softly bantered with you about David Tennant. 

You felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and kiss him despite the driving hazard. And despite the fact that you’ve never kissed him, of course. But you could hope. And hope you did. 

Your hope had grown when he parked in front of the coffee house you’d once mentioned was your favourite. Spencer made your coffee order perfectly and you had found yourself hoping that it was because he’d paid extra attention to you, and not because of his brilliant memory. 

And when you reached the video game store and he opened the door for you, you hoped it was because he wanted to make a good impression, not only because he was a gentleman. 

And when he stood between you and a video game rack in line, you hoped that he was trying to shield you from the other people in the store, and you hoped that he was thinking of pressing you against the rack and kissing the daylights out of you. 

You needed to get a hold of yourself. 

The conversation had swapped to the reason why you two were here in the first place, and you found yourself talking to Spencer about Breath of the Wild, a game that brought you back to fond memories of your childhood. 

“The Legend of Zelda was the first video game I ever played, on the first console I ever owned.” You shared, smiling fondly. “It was the video game that my brother and I bonded over, and we bought every game together since.”

Spencer nodded in rapt. You felt him leaning closer to you, although it may have been your imagination. 

“This is actually the first time I haven’t been with him for a new game,” you realised. “Due to our jobs, we haven’t seen each other in awhile, but we still text each other!” You tried to end on a lighter note, not wanting to bring the mood down on this “date”.

Spencer looked at you as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his lips shut. 

“What about you? What was your first video game?” You threw the question to him, trying to divert attention away from your sad-enough story. 

He blushed in response to your question and looked down at his black converse. You noticed he began touching his sleeve in a familiar motion and you looked at him suspiciously. “Spencer?”

“W-well, the t-truth is, I didn’t actually c-come here to buy a Switch, and I don’t play video games at all.“ The last part of his sentence came out rapidly. You might have missed it, if you weren’t already used to the tongue twisters he spit out on a daily basis.

“What?” You exclaimed a little too loudly, causing the other shoppers in line to glance at you weirdly. “Then... Then what are you doing here?” You said quieter this time. Your eyebrows furrowed as your mind scanned the possibilities. 

“W-well, I, uh, wanted to spend time with you,” he blurted out. He raised his eyes to meet yours, his face completely red.

It was your turn to be flustered now. Your voice was quiet and you could feel your hands shaking. “Is this a date, Spencer?” 

“Only if you want it to be, I mean, I want it to be but your opinion matters to me, and I wouldn’t want to bring you on a date if you didn’t want to. We can just hang out like friends if that’s more comfortable--” 

You grabbed his free hand, gently lowering it from where it was moving as he rambled, until your fingers were intertwined. 

“I would like it to be,” a large smile took over your face. You were a little teary despite how weird it was to confess your feelings for him in a video game store of all places. 

Spencer was quiet for a moment, squeezing your hand in return. “Would you like to go for lunch after this? As a date,” he clarified this time. 

"I would love that,” you beamed at him, “as a date.” 

-------------- 

Spencer had always imagined the kind of girl he would fall in love with. Caring, intelligent, had an appreciation for classic literature, maybe. But when he saw you for the first time, every expectation he held flew out of the window.  

You were beautiful. Wavy dark hair tied into a high ponytail, wearing a navy shirt, and funnily enough, a beige cardigan and black converse. Morgan joked that it was like meeting Spencer 2.0, but he disagreed: the two of you were worlds apart. 

You were incredibly tech savvy, although not as much as Garcia, but certainly more than the rest. You loved the smell and taste of coffee without sugar. You were happy to hug everybody you met, from colleagues to victims. You didn’t like paperback so you read everything on a Kindle. 

But the biggest difference between the two of you, was that you were emotionally intelligent. 

All of your brilliance, combined with your PhD in psychology - having worked as a psychiatrist affiliated with Sex Crimes before joining the BAU - you were able to pick out the team’s moods from a single glance. It’s what endeared everyone to you immediately, and what made you such a great profiler.   

But the way you treated him was different. You just, listened to him. While everyone else had gotten into the habit of cutting him off or simply ignoring him when he opened his mouth, your eyes would light up instead. 

He could always tell you were listening because you would look into his eyes when he spoke, and you would ask him questions after he was done. 

It made him feel like the world around him ceased to exist, except for you. 

So he started studying your interests to grab your attention, trying to throw in a few jokes hoping to see you smile. It only took one month for him to seize his chance. Still, never in his calculations did he think you would say yes. 

He smiled at the thought, stroking your hair gently as you cuddled on the couch together, watching you play Breath of the Wild. 

After a more than successful first date, you had asked him to come over the next day to spend more time together. A month ago, he would have politely declined with an excuse like needing to read a new academic journal, but when he arrived at your doorstep he allowed himself to be drawn into your arms, relishing the giggle he earned as a reward for being hugged. 

“Damn it,” you grumbled quietly as you ran out of stamina scaling a cliffside for the fifth time.

Spencer laughed. Without a second thought, he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head. 

In the background Link fell off the cliff once again, the game playing a sound that he came to recognise as Link dying. But there were no curses this time, as you had turned to look at Spencer, nothing but adoration in your eyes. 

“That was our first kiss,” you said so quietly and sweetly that Spencer’s heart melted at the sound of it. 

“First?” He took his chance, leaning closer. “You know, the usage of the word ‘first’ almost always implies that there will be a ‘second’ and a ‘third’ and a...” 

His voice trailed off as your fingers left the controller to touch his lips. Your touch was intoxicating and he wanted more. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spence,” you started, lifting your finger from his lips. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you-” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he managed to get out in a hurry before capturing your lips in his. He felt your astonishment at first, but you quickly lost yourself in the kiss as he brought his hands up to cup the sides of your face, deepening the kiss further. 

You finally broke apart after awhile, both panting for air and smiling widely. Spencer never thought he could be so lucky. “That’s the second one,” he said quietly, bringing up two fingers to indicate the number. 

You looked at him with love in your eyes and abandoned your controller on the table before throwing yourself at him, flattening the two of you against your couch. 

“Ready for the third?”

-------------- 

Derek Morgan wasn’t an idiot. That’s why he could tell that something had changed over the weekend between his desk mate and boy genius. 

The two came into work together on Monday morning, which was weird in itself, but they also took every opportunity to stick to each other, from coffee breaks to disappearing for lunch and “asking” about paperwork. 

When they vanished for the umpteenth time that day for coffee, Derek leaned over Emily’s desk to confirm his theory. 

“It’s not just me. Pretty boy finally made a move, didn’t he?” He cocked an eyebrow. 

“Definitely. Those two are so obvious that even Hotch has picked up on it. From his office.” She quipped, grinning as her eyes moved to the scene behind Derek. “Speak of the devil.” 

Entering the conversation, Spencer did what he did best. “Did you know that ‘speak of the devil’ is the short form of the idiom ‘speak of the devil and he doth appear’? The phrase can be traced back to the 16th century when mentioning the devil was considered prohibited. In fact, when people were caught saying the phrase--” 

Derek caught your eyes drifting to look adoringly at Spencer. He couldn’t take this anymore. “So what happened between you two last weekend, huh?” he interrupted, smirking. 

Your reaction was better than he gambled. You turned a bright red and your eyes darted between Spencer and Derek in panic, truly flustered for the first time since he’s met you. But Spencer was strangely calm, his eyes travelling from his best friend to Emily in the background trying to stifle her laughter, while a small smile tugged at his lips. 

“We’re dating now,” he announced to the two a little triumphantly, while rubbing your shoulder as a peaceful gesture. 

Derek and Emily were stunned by their friend’s directness, only to be shocked out of it as Hotch walked by. “Finally,” he muttered, loud enough for them all to hear. 

You were the first to crack a smile, then the rest followed suit with laughs and congratulations. Hearing the uproar, Garcia and JJ peeked out of their rooms, joining in and demanding more details about this new but not entirely unexpected development. 

Amidst the chaos, Spencer laces his hands in yours and gives it a squeeze. For the first time in a long time, you feel unequivocally, unmistakably happy.