any advice for coping with being on the receiving end of a public callout ?
Oh yes:
Do not acknowledge the callout publicly. It will only further its spread, lend it legitimacy, cause you to be interpreted as guilty, and convey to anyone who bears you ill will that you are rattled and feeling socially threatened.
Do not act out of urgency. One of the ways that cancelled people get themselves in far worse trouble is by spiraling due to anxiety and rushing to issue a statement about what has happened, or to attempt to socially manage public impressions about what has happened. Do not do this. Anything that you say will be picked apart and used against you. The situation is truly not as urgent as it might feel. A lot of times, doing nothing and being quiet is the best way to proceed, and the dust will settle better if you do.
Do not issue a public apology. If you truly feel that you have wronged someone, that conflict should be worked out in private with the people you have directly affected. You do not owe the anonymous public audience a damn thing. Do not apologize for something you don't honestly believe that you have done wrong. Take time and really think about what happened, and seek the counsel of people whom you trust in PRIVATE.
Do not attempt to disprove the callout unless you have crystal clear, smoking gun evidence that the person who accused you is actually victimizing you. And even then, probably don't do it. I have only seen a disproof of a callout work ONCE, and that was when Juniper Abernathy revealed the person cancelling her had been abusing her. Even if the facts are on your side, acknowledging the accusations will only make more people aware of them, give your detractors ground to criticize your every word, and will muddy the waters and make people find the situation confusing and troubling rather than clear.
GET THE FUCK OFFLINE. Delete your social media apps for the time being. Turn off notifications. Turn off DMs requests. Change your settings so that you only ever hear from people you already follow (I do this, on the advice of Philosophy Tube). Get away from the computer.
Connect with IRL friends. When you're wrapped up in a cancellation, the negative opinions of a handful of foaming at the mouth freaks loom way larger than they actually are. And social media dramatically skews our sense of social priorities such that the approval rating of complete strangers starts to seem more important than people we actually know, and trust, and who actually know us. Go get a meal with a buddy. Watch a dumb movie. Talk to your grandma about her plans for her garden. Surround yourself with real people you care about and focus on their life and problems, to help put things in perspective.
Find distracting, active, rewarding activities that bring you out of the digital space and into physical reality. Not everyone is talking about you, not everybody hates you, most people have no fucking clue what has been said about you, and most people do not give a fuck about you (that's good). There are so many areas of life that are completely fucking untouched by what a bunch of social media power users have to say online. Go volunteer to clean up a park, run some errands, take an exercise class, foster a dog, regrout your bathroom, knit a hat. Even if the worst case scenario happens and a cancellation sticks, it's really only among a certain very vocal group of miserable fucking people. There is a whole world around you that will not ever care, and you will have a life outside of this.
Good luck!!
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i want to say, i ADORE the limb differences (other words for 'missing limbs' that i prefer to use) in the under garden, from the art of them that youve posted on here!! absints lower arm for example :)
i havent read yet, i havent been able to scrounge up the money to buy (hopefully soon!!) but im super excited to buy and read for many reasons, this among them!!
but just, seeing characters with limb differences who are still cool and important and often seem powerful.. it just gives me hope and makes me feel seen!! fantasy is my ansolute favorite genre, but im disabled and i havent found much fantasy stuff that includes disabled characters at All, i can count on one hand the amount of disabled characters ive seen in fantasy stuff :,)
i dont have a limb difference myself (degenerative disc disease and worsening hearing for me) but seeing ANY disabled character is just so lovely, it brings me joy :,) so thank you for including characters with disabilities!!!! it doesnt go unnoticed, and its heavily appreciated and wonderful to see!!
it also makes me curious, do you have any characters in the under garden who are disabled in other ways?? vision, hearing, mobility related conditions, etc? having just one type of disability repped is also amazing regardless of if you have others of course, im just curious :)
and if you ever need a disability-related sensitivity reader/info person based on lived experience for anything, if you ever make a post about it id definitely hit you up XD
have a lovely week, and i hope this ramble isnt too huge haha!
Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it when you do manage to read it 🖤🖤🖤
The Under Garden has a couple of separate "storylines" with their own casts and we haven't set everything in stone for most of them, so take this with a grain of salt. Amongst primary and secondary cast, we have a couple of people with disabilities/chronic pain from injuries, medical complications, etc, some more explicitly shown than others. Technically Ashton, for instance, has a degenerative condition (loosely linked to the idea of butterflies having a very short lifespan after cocooning) and it's a big part of his role in the story overall
There's other instances of characters that could potentially have parallels to real world illnesses or disabilities but they're so intertwined with magical/fantasy mechanics that it's up to each reader to see how they feel about it.
Oh and we're toying with the idea of one of our main characters having a severe hearing impediment but it's a WIP because it might actually affect the plot
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The shadow manga that came out has a lot of issues from Shadow being drawn off model several times to Maria not behaving as the Maria we see in the Shadow game or sa2, to the implication that maybe BD was behind Maria's death. Ruining a large part of Shadows story. I feel a lot of fans just blindly love it because 'it's Japanese! Then its cool!" If Idw released this story I'm 100 percent convinced it would have met with more critism.
Before answering, I feel it’s helpful to know that the Magazine that publishes it, CoroCoro, typically specializes in gag/comedy stuff aimed for elementary school children. It’s actually hilarious how something as intense and more serious as Shadows manga is sandwiched between goofy comics about poop jokes and such lol. The works in it do seem a biiiit rushed and lower in quality to the likes of Shonen jump but considering it’s a very short prequel with only 5 chapters, it’s a bit expected it’ll prob not be this particular artists best work and will just be “serviceable”. That said, I think as a tightly written, fast paced story it’s fine. I can forgive the mistakes because it’s also extremely cheap (like 4 dollars in USD).
Personally I thought Maria was fine in it. She had such limited time in the games and I don’t feel anything in the manga contradicted those appearances that much? Felt more like it expanded on what was typically just implied, like her playfulness or weaknesses due to her terminal illness. I like the aggressive side being highlighted, which makes sense she’s got it to be willing to sacrifice herself like she ends up doing (or punching enemies in SHTH lol). The SHTH cutscenes with her and young Commander showed she played with him and they were like normal kids. Her trying to prank Shadow and make him have fun felt like more of the same.
I got the impression that it’s less so BD was behind her death and more that this is likely a distorted illusion based on Shadow’s memories which is what BD did in the Shadow game as well. I mean, she got shot no where near the escape capsule where it was always established she got shot while sending Shadow off, not before. We’ll see in the next chapter if this is the case so I think it’s a little early to call it inaccurate. (hopefully the magazine threatening to discontinue it because of the mass pirating was a bluff...)
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What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.
Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?
Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.
That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?
Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.
"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.
"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.
"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.
Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.
I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.
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Wick fic ideas, pretty please?
Oh dear. 😆 So this doc is my dumpster fire catch all. This is an outline/imagine I wrote for an Assassin!Reader x John Wick fic last december. I kind of imagine them having a sort of hostile Perkins/John vibe? Thank you @sweetwolfcupcake Sweets!! 😘😘😘😘
warnings: nsfw, violence, sex, angst 😱
You are an assassin, and you keep beating John wick to his targets. He doesn't appreciate it. You beat him two times. “No hard feelings, John.” You kiss him on the cheek, the corner of his mouth really, patting the scruff of his beard a little hard. He is like a block of wood, frozen in his self control. He doesn't lash out, like most in your profession would.
Maybe that's why you make it your mission to poke him. You're curious if you can get him to crack. Just a little.
The third time your paths cross you fight. It's brutal. You've already done half the work of killing the guards, you're not losing this payday if you can help it. You hit each other and throw each other around, and you are ridiculously turned on by this man. You can tell he's trying not to really hurt you, but he's not letting you have it either.
In the end he pins you against a grate and whips his belt out of the loops. He uses it to secure your hands above your head. “Stay,” he growls, gasping for breath. It's ridiculously hot and you are soaking wet, but still you snarl, “Hey!”
But he's gone like a shadow to finish the job. You hear fighting and gunshots, then silence. A good ten minutes go by before he returns to you. He looks at you warily, which is wise. He's clearly trying to figure out how to free you without getting hurt. In the end he sighs and decides to bite the bullet, stepping in to you and reaching for your hands. No hard feelings, he says, parroting your earlier words back at you.
Holding on to the bars, you wrap your legs around his waist, quick as a striking snake. You pull him against you hard, winning a surprised grunt. Well John? You won. Are you going to claim your prize? His gaze involuntarily drops to your mouth, and you're 80 percent sure you have him in the bag.
His hands travel from the belt down to your butt, helping to support your weight. You feel that his enthusiasm for this situation is growing by the second.
“Is this what you want?” he asks, pressing against you.
“Doesn't matter what I want,” you say breathily. “I lost.”
He tilts his head, giving you a look. Some form of consent clearly matters to him. You squash the warmth you feel for him for this. There is no room for softer feelings in your world. That's how you end up dead.
“Go on,” you urge him. “You won the night. Fuck me. You clearly want to.”
He narrows his eyes, leaning closer as you grind against his now hard erection between you.
“Maybe I'll let you into my sweet, wet little cunt,” you goad him further. “Or maybe, I'll try to kill you while you're inside me. Hard to say. But secretly I think you like that, don't you, John? Everyone thinks you're such a sweetheart, but I think deep down, this is what you want. To take what’s yours because you fought for it and won.”
He frowns like he wants to argue, until you squeeze him again with the strength of your legs, and you see something snap in his eyes. You have a nanosecond to savor it before his mouth crashes against yours. You kiss him with equal fury. Your teeth sink into his bottom lip, just this side of drawing blood. He growls in warning, and after a moment you release him slowly, meeting his eyes from across your noses.
In the end, he does as he's told.
___
This competition goes on for several contracts.
Then you get a text. Want to come over?
You're confused, wondering if it's some kind of trap. What do you mean?
Ill make you dinner?
Huh. Ok.
You go. Out of curiosity more than anything. He has an apartment in manhattan. He makes you fucking spaghetti bolognese, and pours you wine, and its almost like youre normal people on a date. After dinner you watch a movie, and you make out. He picks you up, and doesn't slam you into the wall or take you on the floor. He carries you to the bedroom, where he sets you down gently on the bed, and fuck if he doesnt make love to you. It's beautiful and scintillating and you are not sure you like it, when all is said and done.
You feel very open, and vulnerable, and warm, and fuck. No, you do not like this at all. You don't stay for breakfast, slipping out. The next time he texts you stare at it for a whole day before answering, i can't be your girlfriend, john.
A long time goes by before he answers with one word: Fine.
You know there is a sea of emotion behind that single word. You know you've hurt him. You just know. But you are a vicious little thing, forged in the fires of the foster system and the streets. You're not ready to show your soft underbelly to anyone. Not even John Wick.
You stop poaching his contracts after that. Not because you're afraid of him, but of the way he makes you feel. In fact you don't even see him again until two years later. He's sitting outside at a bistrot with a gorgeous brunette, and it hits you like a punch to the gut.
As though he senses you, the way predators scent other killers nearby, he turns to meet your eyes on the street. Maybe you've just been standing there staring like a crazy person, but he says something in his friend's ear, and gets up to meet you. “Hey, y/n.”
“Hi, John.”
“How have you been?”
“Oh, you know. That your girlfriend?” He looks at you, assessing the threat level. You dont blame him.
“Fiancé,” he finally admits.
“Wow. I’m...happy for you, John.”
You are surprised by the surge of envy in your breast. You could have had that, had him, if just maybe you weren't quite so broken.
“Are you?”
You nod, and goddammit if there's not moisture stinging your eyes. It's going to ruin your eyeliner.
“Yeah. I am. See you around, John.” You turn to go, but a pressure on your arm calls you back.
“Y/n.”
Hes looking at you with those fucking puppy dog eyes and you know he knows you are not all right. But you put on a brave face. “Its ok, John.” You kiss him on the corner of the mouth. See you. You turn to go, and this time he lets you.
You don't see him again until five years later. When you hear his wife died you actually feel sorry for him. No really, you do. And when you hear there's a hit out on him after the Tarasov punk kills his dog and steals his car...you find yourself gravitating towards the Continental, like you just know in your bones he might need a little extra help.
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i hate to say it, like i love watcher, but my thoughts on them leaving youtube is this is too much too soon, like the bulk of their fans are probs younger/unable to afford another subscription fee, plus youtube has always been where they've been?? it's just so stark to go from this being the site you put your content on for years and then to go full cold turkey, no more posting on youtube ever
and i'll be honest, they don't have enough content to warrant a separate site/subscription all together. dropout is able to pull it off because they have the full rotation of shows and cast as well (dnd, game changer, etc), whereas for watcher, they only have a few couple really successful shows and those are primarily only focused on ryan and shane.
and tbh, i don't think they have a big enough audience to launch it either, like their marketing team could do better on advertising their shows! like, i haven't been keeping up with their recent shows cause either i don't see it on my youtube algorithm at all or i have to go out of my way to go see it.
and i don't know this just feels like a kick to the face to their fans, like even dropout has shorts on youtube and keeps up all their content on youtube like some episodes and the entirety of season one of fantasy high, and now i'm seeing in the comments, that their international fans outside of the usa won't even able to subscribe cause of how payment works which is :///, so yeah, watcher, it's been nice knowing ya, but i don't know how this move will turn out for you, i'm sorry to say
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what if i gave rise leo BPD...
his anger manifests in the form of self-sabotage and self harm. he asks donnie to sound proof his room when they get to the new lair so he can wreck it without concerning everyone else. before that he'd sneak to the surface and wreck an already messy alleyway
his self harm is recklessness. he gets hurt in fights as much as he can and still get away with just a "please be more careful" lecture from raph
speaking of raph, his oldest brother is his favorite person. so when raph starts to brush him to the side and distrust him, he doesnt take it well. when he does something to impress raph and all he gets is "finally..." thats when he disappears for hours and comes back home with sore arms and usually some scrapes and many bruises
he becomes a medic because they can't ignore him if he helps them. plus he can get better at hiding his breakdowns if he can take care of his own injuries
he wants to be in the spotlight so bad until the spotlight shines on him and suddenly his skin fits wrong
splinter and raph brush it off as teenage hormones. donnie shuts it out. mikey is the first person to realize leo's moods aren't normal, but he doesnt want to confront the fact the bpd comes from trauma, so he tries to support leo as best he can
april doesnt realize how much leo's mood shifts until she spends a night in the lair and realizes that leo isn't as hyper as he presents himself. he tries to mask, but he's too tired and the sudden silence from leo throws april off. it creates a rift between them. even when leo is happier around april, she knows somethings wrong- knows its not quite as genuine as she thought.
she spends more time around donnie than leo and leo thinks its for the best. eventually all his brothers- all his family prefer spending time with someone thats not him. he tells himself its for the better- the less time they spend around him, the less likely he'll be upset around them and end up making them upset
leo convinces himself he's meant to be alone and puts his all into being the team medic and spends the rest of his time alone and dissociating. he hates being the leader- having everyones eyes on him all the time. watching him. waiting for him to mess up- to act out- to prove they were right not to trust him
.... idk.. just a thought
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