#if not i will educate him!! a relationship w me will not work out if he doesn't have knowledge of spongebob 😤😤😤 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chereid · 2 months ago

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೯⁺ 𖥻 𝓢𝗢 , 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦 𝗠𝗘 ! ᰋ

ꨄ︎ 𝒫airing : : 𝒮pencer reid x female!bau!reader

ꨄ︎ 𝓢ynopsis: things change after a slip, & what was once a secret is now impossible to ignore.

ꨄ︎ 𝒞ontents : : fluff. teasing. established ( private ) relationship. eavesdropping ( but not on purpose ). sexual content ( fade to black ). inappropriate team teasing. spencer reid x female!bau!reader. fire ( the case ). too many cuts but that's just because viana has no idea how sex works. grammatical errors. ooc. viana's first language isn't english so bare w her !! reader wears cherry lip gloss.

ꨄ︎ 𝓦ord count : : 1k+

ꨄ︎ 𝒲hispers of viana : :

001. some sent me anonymous asks about party4u,,,, i fear i won't be posting it anytime soon, so take this

002. also,, p5 of hhhl later,,, ish

003. i have no idea how sex works i have no idea how sex works i have no idea how sex works i have no idea how sex works fade to black fade to black fade to black fade to black fade to black fade to black fade to black don't sue me don't sue me don't sue me don't sue me don't sue me don't sue me

004. this is kore's rival,, according to her.

005. the case is similar to that one ep from s1 but let's ignore that,,,,

006. stupid filter. STODPD DAMMIT

𝓣he case was exhausting. four fires, three states, two weeks, & one unsub with a god complex. it began in churches. empty ones, burned out, symbols carved into the floors. initially, local PD believed it was a series of arsons, perhaps hate crimes. but when the fourth was a home with people in it━━a baby━━the bau was called.

you were already exhausted when hotch debriefed the team. but the pictures? they destroyed what little energy was left in you. fire does something intimate to people. it consumes & devours & leaves only ash.

"circles within triangles," reid said, standing next to the projection. "it's an alchemical symbol. historically linked with purification rituals."

you looked at him. of course he did know that. & of course he was handsome when he did tell it━━intense, lips slightly parted, voice gentle but assertive. it was frustrating how much you loved him.

but no one else knew it yet.

finally, after a long, cold night staked outside a barn posing as a place of worship, you caught him. you all worked around the clock locating him. each hour you weren't able to find him was another hour he could've burned something else to the ground.

& that should’ve been it.

but it doesn't just stop for the bau. there's always the aftermath. the paperwork. the quiet ride back to the motel. the way people cope with the burn of what they witnessed. or in your case, how you sit looking at him across the parking lot as someone positions folding tables with food from town. ( such a once in a blue moon experience. )

there were fairy lights hung up. someone was playing guitar off-key. spencer was a ways away, drinking warm lemonade, his shirt rumpled, his hair blown about. you approached him from behind wearing his cardigan ( that the team wasn't aware he owns because it was newly bought ) you'd borrowed ( stole ) it earlier because it was chilly & didn't intend to return it.

"hey," you said quietly.

"hey," he replied, still not looking at you. "did you know that fireflies utilize bioluminescence not only for mating, but also as a defense against predators?"

you smiled. "are you flirting or trying to educate me?"

he turned, smiling slightly. "can't it be both?"

you kissed him before you had time to think about it. it was nothing, really, soft, lips brushing together softly like a vow. he came in as if surprised, but in the best possible way.

& then.

you heard someone cough behind you.

you turned. saw hotch turning away.

oh.

"do you think he noticed?" you asked softly.

"statistically? yes."

you elbowed him. "kiss me again before i change my mind."

he came in, half-lidded eyes. "kiss me again."

but you took a step back. "no."

"what━━hey," he pouted. literally pouted. you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"later," you said, smug & sweet.

you didn't mean that later.

your motel room smelled of soap & coffee. one lamp on the bedside table glowed, casting gold shadows on the wallpaper. spencer loomed over you, shoes removed, tie off, fingers jerking with the need to touch.

you hardly got the door shut before you were kissing.

this time it wasn't gentle.

this was weeks of dead ends & hotel beds & whispered goodnight over walkie talkies. this was the way his mouth smashed into yours like he needed it, hands framing your jaw, firm but shaking.

you tasted of cherry lip gloss. he moaned low against your lips, as if the sweetness made his knees go weak.

"you taste like━━" he breathed.

"cherries," you replied between kisses. “i bought two more before the case started."

"god, it's not fair how good you taste."

he kissed you again before you could taunt. this kiss was sloppy, hungry. his fingers closed around your waist, drew you in. your hands slipped beneath his shirt, palms against warm skin, & he groaned into your mouth.

you gasped for air & whispered, "can i take this off?"

he nodded at once, voice rough. "yes. please."

you slid his shirt off slowly, your fingers tracing every contour of him. he was lean, warm, gorgeous in the dim light. you kissed his chest, & he let out a soft sound, half-whimper, half-moan. & god, that did something to you.

"my turn," he whispered, lips against your ear. "can i?"

you nodded, heart pounding.

he undid your blouse slowly, delicately. like unwrapping a sacred thing. he looked at you for a moment, then kissed your shoulder.

"you're…" he shook his head as if he couldn't come up with the words. "you're everything."

you smiled, heat rushing up to your neck, & he kissed you again.

the bed creaked as you collapsed into it together.

your lip gloss on his cheek. his hand on your thigh. his kisses slowed & desperate until it was like he was sipping sunlight from your lips.

he stopped. "are you sure?"

"yes," you panted.

"say it again."

"spencer. yes."

he breathed shakily, forehead against yours. "i love you."

"i know," you whispered, drawing him closer. "i love you too."

his hands went with respect as he took off the rest of your clothes━━always asking, always checking. you assisted him in undressing, & after that, there was only skin & kisses & panting you & his voice alone as he kissed every part of you he could reach.

spencer awoke first.

which was funny, since normally you did. normally, he woke up to the hum of you humming something or shuffling through the packets of motel coffee, your hair a halo of sleep & your eyes all soft with dreams.

but this time? this time you were draped over him, still half-naked beneath the motel blanket, your cherry gloss smeared thinly on his jaw. the sun hadn't even risen yet, but the sky outside was colored pale lavender, & your breathing was gentle against his chest.

he was the most content he'd ever been.

& then your phone buzzed.

he groaned softly, stretching just enough to grab it without waking you. he peeked at the screen,

hotch: team breakfast. lobby. 7:30.

spencer blinked. the clock read 7:42.

"shit," he breathed.

you rolled over & opened your eyes. blinked at him.

"hi," you mumbled.

"we're late," he whispered, pushing hair out of your face.

"worth it," you said, smiling into his chest.

he kissed your forehead. but neither of you budged for a few more minutes. the bed was too comfortable. his arms were too perfect wrapped around you.

until another message was sent. or well, messeges.

jj: if you guys are dead in there, please respond.

emily: or alive. & just disgusting.

morgan: if y'all busted the headboard, someone's covering it.

penelope: ????‍????

spencer looked at the screen stunned.

"we didn't turn off our comms," he whispered.

"...oh,"

you both sat bolt upright. you glared at the nightstand.

his radio was still on. yours? blinking faint red.

you fell face-first into the pillow. "we're never living this down."

spencer groaned, hiding under the sheets. "do you think they heard all of it?"

“if they didn't, i would worship every greek god there is.”

"all of it," emily said, holding her laughter.

the team ( besides you & spencer ) took their time to talk about the “noise” they were hearing last night.

"i wasn't even trying to eavesdrop," jj said, pouring coffee. "but at some point it just became impossible not to."

"i want to bleach my brain," morgan grumbled.

penelope was waving a breakfast menu in front of her face. "cherry lip gloss. cherry lip gloss, guys."

hotch appeared in the doorway, took in the destruction, & didn't even bother to ask.

"they're not down yet?"

"oh, they were very up last night," emily replied.

hotch blinked. "…i don't want to know." ( he already knows ).

when you & spencer finally entered the lobby, it was like the trojan war.

emily gave you a standing ovation. jj pushed a cup of coffee down the table with the tag "walk of shame juice" on it. morgan stared at spencer with the most dramatic raised eyebrow man had to offer.

& penelope? oh, penelope gasped & hurled glitter. you assumed she brought it everywhere. which shouldn't be a surprise.

"congratulations on the consummation of your cute, geeky love!"

you rolled your eyes & ducked behind spencer's arm.

"you guys," he said plaintively, "please━━"

"no please," morgan replied, clearly amused. "just why. why did you leave your comms on?"

"it was an accident!"

"mmhmm," jj replied, taking a sip of her drink. "you accidentally told her to say it again, spence?"

emily coughed on her coffee.

you slapped a hand over your face. "can we not?"

hotch gave you a long, deadpan stare. "if you're going to start sleeping together, fine. but double-check your gear next time."

spencer nodded furiously. "yes. definitely. of course."

penelope leaned over the table. "okay but, like. was it good?"

"penelope!"

she held up her hands. "sorry, sorry! i mean. i know it was good. the way you were moaning━━"

"oh my god," you yelped.

spencer turned bright red. "i'm gonna go sit in traffic for five hours."

"aw, don't be shy, reid," morgan teased. "that was passion. real romance novel stuff. do you write sonnets in the dark?"

"shut up," you grumbled, tossing a napkin at him.

"do you whisper sweet nothings while breaking down kiss frequency data?" emily chimed in.

"guys," jj said, "leave them alone. they're adorable. just…next time? muffle yourselves. or give us warning. or reserve a different hotel."

hotch massaged his temples. "i don't get paid enough for this."

later that evening, on the jet ride home, you snuggled up beside spencer on the couch.

"they're not gonna let us forget, are they?"

he smiled at you. faintly. "maybe in a few years. maybe."

you smiled softly.

he leaned forward. "but…for the record?"

"yeah?"

he kissed you softly. slow. warm.

"it was worth it."

#❪ chereid ❫ 𖥻 𝓒ase file ❜#spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #cm spencer reid #fanfic #cm x reader #cm x you #cm x y/n #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid cm #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #cm #x reader

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emoisthenewemu · 10 months ago

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⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 ERWIN SMITH X F READER SMUT 18+ MDNI

⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 cw: daddy kink, ex! levi x reader, SMUT, PORN W VERY LITTLE PLOT, p in v, female body parts, oral on both ends, squirting, size kink??, dumbification?, general nastiness almost 9K words of nothing but smut, rough sex, and i think thats mostly it!!!

⋆˚✿˖°𐙚 lol so if anyone is interested i might write a pt 2 w levi and a pt 3 threesome?? This also derived from a levi fic im working on i might just post that here too. Its so funny how my first work on tumblr is an ERWIN SMITH smut of all things but here we are. He makes me so feral

.　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　. 　 ✧ 　 ˚ 　 .　 ✧ 　. 　 ˚ 　.

You did not expect anyone to follow in your angry march away. In fact, you preferred that no one did, especially Levi. But he seems to be completely repulsed by you these days so you are sure he would do no such thing. Erwin did wait about a minute before taking off without a word, clearly just as unimpressed with Levi as you were. All the man wanted was to blow off some steam, but that was now ruined all thanks to the petty squabble between the former lovers. He was sick enough of hearing all about it from both sides and now it was following him outside of work. Smith did manage to sneak a pint for the trek underneath his coat, managing to finish it long before arriving back to headquarters. And his poor friend was in so much pain that it made him hurt too, he tried to avoid this, to warn her that Ackerman does not have the emotional intelligence for a relationship. He does not know how to be soft and sensual.

Like you deserve to be treated.

It would be inappropriate to admit that Erwin had thought about what it might take to satisfy a woman like you. In more ways than one. But he wants to ignore it and follows up the stairs silently, waiting until you reached the floor of your office/living quarters to call out your name. "Y/N"

"Not in the mood commander" You grumble, not wanting to hear an 'I told you so' from him of all people. You have always admired Commander Erwin, he was a man with principles and honor. A loyal and courageous leader, easily one of the best the Survey Corps had ever seen. Everything about him was impressive; a long list of accomplishments throughout his professional year, he was well educated and had a hefty amount of titan kills under his belt. Another thing which could be considered impressive would be the sheer size of the man. He towered over many with big burly shoulders and a deep, rich voice. His muscles would pop out of his undershirt (something the female scouts would never fail to notice) and his hands were large enough to make regular things appear miniature. You would be lying if you said you hadn't imagined what lay underneath that uniform. But it would be absolutely scandalous to sleep with the commander of all people.

However, you somehow did not find anything wrong with sleeping with the second highest ranking member of the Scouts. That was not your goal of course; to sleep with a powerful man. It just sort of happened, after years of the slow torture that was getting to know Levi and be close with him. Your relationship was similar of that to his with Hange-mostly comprised of shit talking and poking fun at each other. It was like that for years and sometimes things did get intense, growing more into argument territory rather than their usual lighthearted bickering. But you always made up, if not with a verbal apology then with little gestures. Levi always checked the straps of your gear before expeditions, made sure you stretched and ate beforehand. Whenever you found yourself in battle, he somehow always managed to be right behind just in case things went South. And it was not until you were able to lead a squad of your own that Levi had to admit he absolutely hated to be apart from you.

That was how you knew he loved you, it made keeping things so secretive okay. As long as you knew Levi cared for you, that was all that mattered. But as time passed you could not help but wonder if it was purely physical for him, judging by the way he began to completely ignore you in front of others. All it took was some light teasing for him to begin to stray away from your touch. And it hurt that something so small could be enough to stop all that was happening between the two of you. That seemed to be the beginning of the end, it was not long after that the man pulled you into his office and insist the two of you keep things professional from now on. That it was a mistake. He said it so coldly, as if he had not let you sleep in his arms two days prior.

But you played it cool and managed to make it all the way to the stairwell before hot tears began to stream down your face. You refused to let him see how much it hurt, wanted to make it seem as unimportant as he did.

That was only a month ago, so when Erwin initially invited you out to the pub you were weary of being in the presence of Humanity's Strongest Soldier. But Erwin insisted that one of his most hard-working soldiers should put the paperwork down for just one night and let loose. He also promised to not leave your side, aware of the weird tension between you and Levi.

Erwin was not dumb, and happened to be the only person who caught on to you and Levi. Noticing the stolen glances and sly smiles sent from across the room. It wasn't until you accidentally sent down a paper that was meant for Levi on the commander's desk. A paper with a not so subtle note at the bottom containing such foul things that he did not dare to even repeat them as he scolded the two of you for being so careless. You had never seen him so angry, nor had he ever spoke to you so harshly. It was so harsh you almost cried, hiding your face the whole time in utter embarrassment. The two of you promised to never again let your 'nighttime activities' affect your work. And he left it at that, choosing to never bring it up again. He intended on never involving himself between the two of you again.

But tonight as Erwin saw the pain which clouded your eyes, it made him want to make it all go away. How desperately he ached to make you forget all about Levi and scream his name all night long instead.

"I am not here to make you feel dumb" He reassures, closing your bedroom door behind him. You watch him intently from the other side of the room, a clenched jaw as he plays with the loosened collar of his shirt. The drinks were making him sweaty, a tiny droplet catching the light as it dripped down his chest.

The very last thing you should be worried about is how utterly sexy your commander looks at a time like this. You don't consider yourself the type of woman to move on so easily. But how can you not be enticed by a sweaty, hunky man standing in your bedroom, only there because he is worried about your well-being? Not what is beneath your clothes. In fact, he makes a show of averting his eyes as you begin to undo the bodice of your dress. He has always been so respectful and good to you, always made sure to ask your opinion on important matters because he valued your input. That was arguably the hottest thing he had ever done; respect you entirely. "Forgive me if it is not my place to say this, but I believe you can do much better than Ackerman"

You laugh, letting the strings of the corset hang as you silently pray he will give in to look at the way your breasts threaten to spill from your dress. "Is that so?" You raise a curious eyebrow. "Any better options?"

Erwin finally looks back over to you and he silently curses at your undone dress which is practically begging to just be ripped off. He swallows thickly, focusing on the middle of your eyebrows as to not look anywhere else. "None come to mind. Though I do hope you'll find one more willing to communicate his emotions"

"Hm" You kick off your boots, wondering if the tension is not just one sided. If he feels the heat too which eats at your whole body. So neglected, and feeling so unwanted. You put on your nicest undergarments today in the hopes that Levi would be taking you home. You just want someone to take care of you, soothe the uncomfortable ache between your legs. You have enough on your plate as is, dealing with the newest recruits to the Scouts. They were already starting fights and complaining about orders and it was supposed to be your job to whip them into shape. And you were exhausted, drained from feeling like a single mother with a group of disobedient kids who just had to question your every order. You needed some stress relief desperately. It is obvious with the way you rub your tired eyes, hunched over your bed as you stare at the floor. "And you? I still find it hard to believe a man like you has no lady waiting for you to come back home every night"

His posture eases up but his body remains pressed against the door, almost like he is afraid to step any closer. He imagines there is an imaginary line which starts at the wardrobe in front of him, and should he cross that line he does not trust there will be any going back. In fact, he should have left the very second his impure thoughts started. "A man like me?" He sounds almost proud, that charm of his is beginning to kick in. He loves talking to ladies, can wrap them easily around his finger. "Im awfully busy you know? Don't have enough time to dedicate myself to a woman the way they deserve"

"Poor Commander" Your sweet voice makes him weak in the knees, his resolve faltering with every second. "You're a good one, so strong and brave. You take such good care of all of us. I think you deserve to have someone take care of you"

You're such a good little soldier, the Commander has always thought so. You have always followed every single order with a sweet smile, obedient and looking to please. He wants to thank you for being so perfect, for worrying about him when the original intent of following you was to check on your feelings. And by now it is obvious that you are teasing him, not even bothering to hide the way you clench your thighs every time he speaks. And you, the little minx you are, can tell that you're getting to him. Finally cracking that iron-tough exterior. It's evident with the way he cannot look at your eyes more than a few seconds, gaze constantly darting down to your chest and exposed thighs. He is clearly battling inside of his mind and you are dead set on breaking him.

He clears his throat, beginning to tap his foot anxiously as he looks around almost comically. As if there were anyone else he could look over to in this room that would convince him to get the hell out of there. Commander be damned, that was not even a concern on his mind right now. His main worry would be how upset Levi would be if he ever found out his most trusted comrade slept with his woman. But at the same time, that makes it all the more enticing. He wished he could rub it in the smug bastard's face that he has his beloved practically begging to be fucked by him. How he wants to make you scream so loud Levi hears it.

"Y/N" It's almost painful to speak, the way he is actively holding himself back from moving. He refuses to take even a single step. "It would be very inappropriate to let something happen between us"

"Mmm....but that just makes me want it more" You whine and he brings his fist up to his mouth in an attempt to conceal the curses slipping out. You feel like you are almost there, so close to getting what you desperately want. You sigh dramatically, making a point of throwing yourself back onto your bed. "No one is forcing you to stay Erwin. I couldn't keep you from leaving if I tried"

You're right, he is a grown man and if he had any kind of self control he would be marching right out of there. But right now, his chest is warming up and his mouth is watering at the sight of your dress bunching up dangerously close to your most sacred area. Now on your side, you look him up and down. You cannot help but laugh at how tense he is, almost as if he was afraid of you. "Oh Erwin, stop looking at me as if I'm trying to corrupt you"

His pants are beginning to grow tight, his own body betraying him as he finds himself growing uncomfortably hard. He attempts to clasp his hands in front of himself in an attempt to conceal the forming tent. The man lets out a deep breath, looking up to the ceiling. His mind is made.

He wants to ruin all other men for you.

Erwin finally crosses that line, stepping forward and gesturing for you to sit up. You obey, watching intently as he kneels in front of you. "My only concern is that if I start I may not be able to control myself" He admits, hands tracing the skin of your ankles which hang over the bed. The position makes it so that he is placed in between your thighs, his body beneath you as he looks up with wide eyes. He is so handsome it's almost unfair, you bring a finger to trace his sharp jawline. "A woman like you should be cherished"

His rough hands bring up one of your legs, relaxing back on his heels as he goes to place a soft kiss to your calf. He catches a glimpse of your white, lace panties and it makes him groan. After all of this teasing, you now find it hard to speak-too entranced by how soft he is being. It is a complete contrast to the way Levi makes love to you-as if every time would be the last. Erwin is taking his time, kissing and licking up your legs so sensually that you find whines leaving your lips. But he stops at your inner thighs much to your dismay.

You pout, looking down at him expectantly. "Don't worry princess" He coos, seeing your frustrated expression. He knows you are impatient, he is too but it has been far too long since Erwin had the opportunity to pleasure a woman. He will be damned if he does not enjoy every second of it, if you don't finish multiple times then he will be rather disappointed. Perhaps it is one of his kinks, getting nice sweet girls all worked up-to corrupt them. You just feel so heavenly, he wants to make you turn absolutely filthy. "You'll get what you want. Good girls are patient"

You're so unbelievably horny you could cry. You want to beg him to just fuck you already but that would be way too desperate. You still would like to keep a semblance of respect for yourself, as if the act you found yourself in was not disrespectful enough. Commander Erwin is sliding your dress down your shoulders, making you sit up a bit so he could pull it down your thighs. It almost feels unreal, that the most respected man in the Regimen is on his knees for you, ready to take you entirely. Finally, he kissed your-gasping into it you could not help but pull him closer by the shirt. Your hands fumbled with the buttons, finally getting a chance to run your nails down those chiseled muscles you had only dreamed about up until now.

His tongue presses into your mouth, running his hands down your side as he tries to touch every bit of skin available to him. He is so good, kiss tender yet passionate. You can feel how badly he wants you, the way his head moves in sync with yours as low groans escape his lips. As desperate as you were a few minutes ago, you hate the thought of his lips leaving yours, grabbing hungrily at his biceps as she shrugs his shirt off. Erwin began to fumble with the buckle of his belt, ripping it off and throwing it to the side without a thought. When you finally pulled apart, you were about to complain until he stood up to take his pants off.

You decided to keep things going, slipping off your bra to leave you in only your panties. His eyes darkened at the sight, going back on his knees and immediately latching his lips onto your chest. Soft moans escape your lips as he finds one of your nipples, sucking softly at the skin as his hand gropes the other. You buck your hips into his, using one of your hands to play with his hair. "So good Erwin" You praise, reaching your other hand down to the place he needed to be touched the most.

You cant reach enough to wrap your hand around his length, but you can feel the tip rubbing against your fingers as you desperately try to grab more of him. He is thick, and you cannot wait to see how long he must be. When he finally pulls off of your chest to look up at you, you smile. Reaching down to kiss him, he allows you to jerk him more through his underwear-you notice it is too much for just one of your hands to hold. It makes you so anxious to feel him inside of you.

"You're so beautiful" Erwin compliments, his beautiful blue eyes taking in your entire figure. "I've always thought so"

"Wish I knew that sooner" You tease, aware that this cannot go any further than what happens tonight. Neither of you are in any place to be in a relationship. But it feels so incredibly good. "But I have to admit I have thought of this more than I should. You are one of the most handsome men I have ever seen"

It feels good to be complimented, it only makes him want to devour you even more. So he decided he has had enough of the teasing, he wants-no. He needs to taste the real thing. He wordlessly pulls down your panties, wrapping his arms around your knees to pull you closer. And he looks up at your pretty little face one more time, before diving in between your legs. One lick up your slit is all it takes to completely ruin the professional relationship the two of you had spent years building. He should be ashamed of himself, being in such a high power position and still succumbing to his own nasty urges.

It is so wrong, he moans into your pussy at the thought. It should not be making it so much better, the thought of how naughty he is to be licking up your pussy like a man starved. His tongue flicks between your folds, going up to circle your clit before going back down only to repeat his movements. Every time he reaches your clit, your hips bump up and it is not long before he pulls you so flush against his face that he cannot lick anywhere that's not your pussy. He shakes his head side to side, moaning again as he makes out with your folds. "Tastes so good" He groans before diving in, this time focusing on that little nub directly. You moan loudly, beginning to pant at the way he sucks right on your clit. He stops to flick it with his tongue, loud noises of slurping and sucking so obnoxious anyone in the nearby rooms could hear. "So sweet" He pulls apart again, unable to process how fucking good it tastes. If he had days he would dedicate the night to just eating your pussy, the fucking could wait for later. "Pussy's so good princess"

He moves his tongue lower, finding your entrance and prodding at it softly. He settles his face deeper between your thighs, grabbing the soft skin as his large nose bumps up against your clit, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. God, his nose, so prominent and strong. The absolutely filthy thoughts you had about riding the man's face and using it to rub your clit against just like he was now. It was all so much, so good as your moans grew louder. He was fucking your entrance with his tongue by now and you could not help but bounce against his face, desperate to have more. The pleasure was starting to build, Erwin could tell by the incoherent words which spill from your lips.

No longer were the soft whines and moans which got him so worked up in the first place. Now you were talking complete nonsense, but that did not matter to him. That was only more encouragement for the man to keep going, oh how he wanted to fuck you stupid.

"Fuck!" You panted, hands gripping at the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, anything you could hold on to as your lower body bounced against his face. Nose still rubbing against your clit as you wonder how he could even breathe with his face so suffocated between your thighs.

He couldn't but he did not care. He was willing to die between your legs as long as you finish on his face. He needs it, he is dying of thirst and only your juice can give him some relief. "Please" He mumbled, going back up to focus on your clit and shoving a finger into you. You moan loudly and he begins to rock the digit into you, making out with your clit so sloppily you can hear the saliva sloshing around. It is so dirty it makes your eyes roll back, mouth forming into an 'o' as he picks up the pace, adding another finger. "Please cum on my mouth princess"

"Ohh yess baby!" You gasp, unable to think as the pleasure continues to build, overwhelmingly so as your legs begin to shake due to how fast the man fingers you. "Im-im..."

You cannot finish your sentence due to your release, and Erwin is going absolutely feral. He slurps up every drop, moaning about how good it is, that he can't believe you were hiding this perfect pussy from him all these years. He supposed he is to blame for that but he is far too in the moment to worry about any of it. When he pulls apart his face and chest are soaked, hair sticking to his head as he let out heavy breaths.

You managed to lift your body up, reaching out for his touch. He grabbed your hand and kissed it sweetly, almost as if that obscene scene which laid before you minutes ago never even happened. "Mm come here baby" You murmured softly and he obliged, giving in to the kiss you pulled him into. It was slow and sensual, tongues slowly greeting each other again as you held his face in your hands, enjoying the taste of yourself on his tongue. "Did so good" You mumble into the kiss, gasping when he bites your bottom lip.

"Thank you sweet girl" He mutters, going to kiss and bite at the skin on your neck. He breathes in your scent, tasting the salty sheen which now covers your whole body. His kisses are hot and needy, his hands going to grip your ass.

"Get on the bed please" You asked nicely, desperately wanting more praise. It sounded so incredibly good coming from him, was the best kind of encouragement you could have ever hoped for. You thought so highly of him, and you needed to make him proud. If you were going to ruin your relationship then you would at least hope he would be imagining your lips wrapped around his cock, thinking back on it fondly. Like you said, he took such good care of of you and this was simply returning the favor. "I wanna taste you now"

So he finally unveiled himself to you entirely, cock springing out as he pulled his underwear off rather impatiently. It slaps the skin of his stomach, a glossy sheen covering the tip as the rest of it looks angry-red and swollen, begging to be touched. He is so unbelievably thick that it makes your mouth water, thinking about how you will have to open your mouth as wide as you can to take him entirely. You slowly wrap a hand around the base, squeezing slightly as you prepare to take easily the largest cock you have ever seen. "You're so big" You almost whisper, pressing a chaste kiss to his knee.

Erwin senses some hesitation, reaching out to caress the side of your face so sweetly. He knows he is going to lose any sense of composure the second he feels your tongue, and he just hopes you are prepared to take him the way wishes. "But you can take it darling" He coos, thumb going to rub your soft lips. They part slightly, taking in the tip of his digit to suck on it lightly. He shudders at the feeling, imagining your lips wrapped around another part of him. "Such a good girl, gonna choke on daddy's cock for me right?"

You moan at his words, nodding so excitedly it makes him laugh. You are too precious really, he can't wait to ruin you. He wants to make you cry on his cock, shake and finish until you can't take anymore. "Yes daddy" His words are all the encouragement you need to finally take him, just allowing the tip into your mouth at first. Your tongue flattens against the tip, licking and tasting all of the precum which surrounds the head. Taking a deep breath, you move further, an experimental bob of your head as you find you mouth completely stuffed. And you're just about to reach halfway, how in the hell is this going to work?

Erwin's hand places itself in your hair, gently helping guide you further down. His noises are heavenly, and all he can do is stare down at you. Watching you take it intently, body shuddering as you begin to speed up the pace at which you bob your head. He thrusts slightly, smiling at the small gags leaving your mouth. But it's not enough, he needs you to choke on it, gasp for air as spit drips down your chin. He wants tears falling down your eyes as a bulge forms in your throat. This was all it took for any kind of respect to be thrown out the window, you've got him started now, feeling insatiable as he desperately wants to use you as a fucktoy. "Look at you" The blonde man groans, chest heaving and glossy as his thighs clench with the way you refuse to use your hands around him. Only your mouth, up and down gagging every time you take him in your throat. "Look so fucking sexy with my cock in your mouth"

You moan around his length, clenching your thighs together as you yearn for his touch once more. You can hardly breathe, the scent of his musk invading your nostrils as his pubic hairs tickle your nose. You are so completely enveloped by all things Erwin Smith, everywhere you look, touch, taste. And it is driving you crazy, unable to think about anything but your big strong commander who deserves to be praised. You need him to feel worshipped as you finally swap your mouth with your hands, choosing to suck on his balls instead. The act emits a growl from the man, panting above you as he cannot form any thoughts with the way you guzzle up his balls. You're moaning, sounds of slurping and spit as he can see the mess forming on your face. Jerking him hungrily as your tongue dashes across the two sacs, so eager to please him. "So fucking dirty" He curses again, an occurrence so rare it makes you moan. And he slaps your chin softly, not hard enough that it hurts but firm. "Who knew you were such a slut?"

You moan, going back up to take his member back in your mouth. You only bob a few times before coming up with a 'pop!', pleading eyes looking up at the man in front of you. His lips curved into a sly smile as he admires just how sloppy you look. Lips so swollen from taking his dick and a few strands of hair stuck to your chin from all of the spit. "Fuck my mouth please" You have no shame, you're almost whining as you grab his hands to hold your head. You look up with wide eyes, his excitement evident as it seems there is a newfound twinkle in the man's eyes. "Please daddy" It angers him to think about how obedient you must have been for Levi, he needs to remind you on what exactly you were missing out on.

"Such good manners darling" He compliments before lowering your mouth back onto him. His whole body tenses, groaning at the way your throat convulses around him as he pushes your head further down. "So sweet asking daddy for permission. I didn't even have to train you first"

You can't speak back of course, in fact he wonders if you can even process what he is saying with the way he thrusts up into your mouth. And the noises are so obscene, gargling and gagging-the sound of Erwin's pants and moans filling the room. It is too good to be true, his thrusts pick up the pace as spit falls freely down, pooling on his thighs as he massages the inside of your throat. Poor thing, it will be certainly bruised after this and he reminds himself to have a hot cup of tea prepared for you the next morning. Praises leave his mouth as he uses you, balls slapping against your chin as his hands begin to pull on your hair. You focus on breathing out of your nose when you can, swallowing every time he shoves himself all the way to the back. It drives him crazy, he moans loudly every time you do it and that is enough to keep you going. Your eyes are crying, unable to stop the tears from flowing as you choke on his cock.

It has been a very long time since Erwin had the sheer bliss of a woman's mouth wrapped around him. And he cannot remember if it felt this good the last time, he wonders how he went so long without it. Maybe it's just you, so willing to take him and let him do whatever he wants. It makes his cock twitch, release nearing as he finds himself proud he even lasted this long. As much as he wants to prolong it, toes clenched and chest tightened as he refuses to spill out-he decides to give you a break. You deserve it, with how well you've taken him. "M'cumming darling, you better swallow all of it" He growls, slapping your cheek softly as you moan excitedly-ready to swallow his seed. "And say thank you"

Those are his last words before finally spilling into your mouth, jaw slack as he moans loudly into the night. His hips rock softly, chasing his high and it makes his body shudder. You clean all of it up, careful to not spill as much as a drop and you make a show of swallowing to prove you won't be letting it go to waste.

"Thank you" You hum, giggling softly because things will never be the same. You wish you could brag to all of the other women who admire him just as much as you do.

He pulls you up by the hand and you get on the bed, humming softly when he embraces you, wrapping an arm around your waist before settling his forehead down on your shoulder. He kisses the skin softly and you melt into his touch, running your fingers up his back. It is so intimate, a complete opposite from the filthy things that took place moments prior. Your lips meet again, moving slowly and tenderly as you both grab at any skin available. You feel hungry for more, carnal desires completely overriding your body as you want to beg him to take you. Levi is not even a thought in your mind as you crave Erwin and Erwin only.

He can tell you need him with the way your tongue impatiently explored his mouth, hand going to grab his half-hard member. Stroking it softly you whine into his mouth, leaving his lips to place kisses trailing down his neck. You suck at his earlobe softly, emitting a groan from the large man. He stops your movements by grabbing your wrist. "Lay on your back darling"

You nod, moving back onto the bed and opening up your legs to give him a view of the thing he craved to feel the most. The sight alone is enough to make him fully erect, ready to fuck you the way you deserve. He kisses up your body, starting at your hipbone and following up your ribcage until he reached your neck. His big hands run up your legs, greedily as he takes in every inch of your body. He can't stop touching you, fingers grazing the soft skin of your stomach, going to trace over your nipples and collarbone. "Please Erwin" You beg, yes you love the way he is looking at you as if you were the only woman on Earth. You feel adored, so confident under his soft eyes that you are not even worried about covering up. You feel no shame, only desire for the man situated between your legs, shoulder muscles flexing as he wraps both arms around you. But you are going to go absolutely insane if he doesn't fuck you soon.

"You're too good to be true princess" He sounds sincere, nuzzling his head into your nape as he rubs his cock against your slippery folds. You whine, grinding down on him before trying to grab it and put the damn thing in yourself. He stops you like it's nothing, choosing to pin your wrist above your head. "I need to ruin you"

With those harsh words, he finally pushes the tip inside, groaning immediately at the sensation. He does not bother to wait for you to catch up, sheathing himself entirely as you claw at his back-you open your mouth to gasp but no noise comes out. It's as if his cock is strangling you, filling you up in a way you could have never imagined. "Take it" He whispers, bucking his hips softly and ignoring the way to try to paw his hips away from you. It's too much to handle, your pussy feels like it might split open from all the pressure. Tears well in your eyes as you try to relax, taking a deep shaky breath that makes the man shudder. You look so cute trying to relax when his dick is molding your walls to his size, and the way you cry out with every thrust makes him want to give you more. "Fucking take it" He mutters, groaning when you try to push his hips away again. "Stop running and relax"

You whine, bottom lip shaking as he pushes himself inside again, choosing not to move so you can become more accustomed to the feeling. And even when he is not moving, you still whine and dig into his back as if he were actually fucking you. "It's just so big. Y-you didn't even go slow" A tear falls from your eye and you don't even know how screwed you are.

He's not listening to your complaints, all he sees is a whiny whore that needs to be whipped into shape. But he will do it, by the end of the night you'll be more than prepared to take his cock at any time. He is about to scold you, but he notices your walls beginning to relax, your chest no longer raised as if you could not lay down comfortably. "You're the one who begged for it slut" He thrusts again and you both moan, your arms go to wrap around his neck. His face is pressed into your chest, bodies flushed entirely against one another as his slow but powerful thrusts invigorate your every sense. "And now-" He stops to give another hard thrust and you practically scream at the feeling. It causes him to cup his hand around your mouth, angling his body into a new position. He pulls your hips down, your body going down slightly so that you are more flat on the bed. "You're gonna take what daddy gives you, okay?"

You nod and that is when the fun truly begins. You really had no idea what you were in for, going and teasing your commander just for the fun of it. Because you were messy and horny and needed to be stuffed. You did not know it would result in the most in-depth and passionate fucking of your life. He needed it even more than you did, the stress of his job and the constant questioning of his morals was beginning to drive him mad. He did not feel like a person anymore. He was a martyr, represented every single soldier in the Survey Corps. The public could point and blame him whenever an expedition went bad, every loss of life was his fault. He was a devil.

The only thing devilish about the man was the way he fucked, no mercy, using every bit of his strength to get exactly what he wants. You cannot do anything but moan and cry as he pounds into you, unaware that all of his anguish was being poured into you. He feels the most alive he's felt in years, he never wants it to end. He wished he could fuck you until his heart stops. His movements grow faster, the mattress loudly squeaking and you wrap your legs around his back. You cry out his name as he watches your breasts bounce with every movement.

"S-so good daddy" You whimper into his ear, clinging to his body and trying to pull him even closer as if it were possible. "Fuck! Feels so good!" Your hips are trying to meet his thrusts sloppily. Too preoccupied to think, you dig your forehead into his shoulder, moaning whatever words you can make out. When you bite down on his shoulder he cannot stop the moans which leave his mouth. His noises are the hottest thing you have ever heard, so deep and guttural. You suck on his adam's apple, pussy clenching due to his desperate noises.

"Gonna cum inside this messy pussy" He manages to speak, and the sight of your juices splattered across his abs make him want to finish that very moment. He wants to watch the glistening skin as you gush around him but he knows he won't last with such a filthy sight. He just needs a little bit more before he lets it all go completely. Erwin slips a palm beneath your head and cups the crown of your head, groaning because you're now fucking him back, desperately clawing at his back muscles as you try to guide his pace into you. He moves up to catch your lips but cannot find it in himself to kiss you when he feels such ecstasy. You moan into each others mouths so desperately as he rocks into you. You continue to fuck down on his cock, thighs beginning to shake.

"Mm! Mm! G'na...fuuuck" You cry out as your orgasm finally arrives. It rocks your entire body and you go limp, unable to form a single thought as Erwin chases his own high.

Luckily, the way your walls squeezed him in the second you came was more than enough to encourage his release out of him. His toes curl as he finally lets himself finish, panting into your skin as his cock twitches inside of you. Both of your bodies are slick with sweat by now and he keeps himself inside of you, letting all of his weight down. His head rests on your chests, mewling in delight when you bring your fingers to scratch his scalp. "What do you say darling?" He reminds as he remembers a hand still remains tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to press a lazy kiss on his lips.

You kiss him back longer then expected and he leans into your touch, causing his cock to slip out. You both whine at the sudden loss of contact. It almost feels wrong to not have him plugging you up. "Thank youu" You remember and he laughs almost mockingly. His thumb grazes your lip and he pulls you closer to kiss you again. His tongue teasingly introduces itself into your mouth before pulling out completely. He remains close, hot breath ghosting against your skin. "Mm, thank you so much daddy"

He kisses you again, so hungry it makes you whine-suddenly aware of his seed which leaks out of your swollen pussy. "You're so adorable" You meet with another sloppy kiss and when you suck on his tongue excitedly his dick springs back to life.

"Again" He orders, a newfound burst of energy as he shoots back up. Resting back on his haunches, he pats the bed. "On your knees"

You're staring at him like he is insane. Of course you want him again, you feel so empty without him. But you would also like to be able to walk tomorrow. Your arms are barely strong enough to hold yourself up, shaking with the way you lean back on them. You are a very busy woman, have important drills to run with the newest recruits and the thought of flying around through the trees in your ODM gear makes you want you cry. You are so sore already, your poor pussy feels like she was abused. Not to mention you have to walk an almost comical amount of stairs just to get outside in the first place. "B-but I have drills to run tomorrow" You pout.

Erwin laughs at the scared look in your eyes, so mean as he rolls his eyes dismissively. "I'm certain you'll live" He mocks and it makes you pout even harder. "Don't be a brat, I thought you were a good girl"

"I am!" You insist and you look so cute it makes his dick twitch in anticipation. He needs you again, and he will have you again.

"Hmm, I'm not so sure" He teases, fingers running up your thigh to meet your pussy. "Thought you want to make your Commander happy?" He asks, using a finger to clean up some of the cum that was now dripping inside of you.

When he pushes it back inside, your leg twitches and the man smiles wickedly. "I do Commander!" You whine. "You deserve the best"

He raises an eyebrow expectantly and you get the hint, flipping your body over and arching your ass up into the air. He is very obviously pleased, placing a harsh slap to your ass. He does it again, watching the way your flesh ripples with each smack. You yelp the fourth time he does it, this one harder than the rest. "Good girl" You smile at the praise, glad you are back in his good graces. You'll take him as many times as he likes-so long as he never looks at you again with that disappointed look in his eyes.

He lines himself up your entrance, entering slow this time. Your velvet walls suck him in so greedily it's hard to move, but he manages with a few curses escaping his lips. He throws his head back with the next thrust, obsessed with the squelch of all of the juices leaking out your sloppy pussy. "Ohh my" He moans, eyebrows furrowing as he watches his cock disappear into your tiny hole. The way you tighten around his limb makes him think you are fighting the urge to run away from it. He notices your dainty hands clawing at the sheets, your face scrunched up as you moan loudly.

The sound of clapping begins to arise with every thrust, he grabs your sides to keep you in place, his hips piston into you at an unrelenting pace. You can't even think. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" You cry each time the tip brushes your cervix and Erwin is in a trance of his own. His eyes are glued to the creamy ring forming at the base of his cock, ears so focused on listening out for those nasty noises exiting your cunt.

He moans unabashedly as he drills into your poor cunt. He is too focused on the lewd noises exiting your pussy that he does not notice the way the headboard slams against the wall. The wood is old, creaky and likely rotting by now. It also has taken quite enough beatings already from your late night escapades with Levi, you aren't sure it can handle much more. But you don't dare to try and stop him, you're too fucked out to speak anyways. You gasp when he hits a certain spot that makes you see stars.

"Right there princess?" He groans, pulling himself almost completely out before snapping his hips right back into the same spot, earning the same reaction out of you. "Daddy takes good care of his girl right?"

Your eyes are almost crossing with the overstimulation. His deep commanding voice, the way his balls slap your clit with every thrust, his fingertips digging into your thighs so tightly they're sure to leave a mark and his filthy fucking words are going to be the death of you. You take a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut at the delicious mix of pain and pleasure. "Yes daddy! Yes! Doing so good!" You're a mess, drooling into the sheets as it seems the man has finally met his goal. You are ruined. Your words are growing borderline incoherent, repeating the same things over and over. "So good! S-so big! Mm-so strong!"

Erwin is practically lifting your bottom half completely off the bed, drilling into you as if his life depends on it. The 'pat pat pat' of skin slapping together makes him feel absolutely feral, his eyes stuck on the way your body moves with each calculated thrust. "Yes!" He chants like a prayer, growling when your pussy begins to squeeze him. And the way you whine, cry, and slobber beneath him makes it seem like you haven't been fucked good in a while. "What would Levi say if he saw his pretty little slut bent over for her Commander?" He slaps your ass and you squeal. His thumb goes to press against the rim of your asshole, teasing the flesh lightly as he pulls your pussy back onto him.

"Ahh!" You moan, fully intending to answer his question. "Oh he'd be so mad!" You giggle and another thrust makes you cry out again. "F-fuck cant imagine"

"Does he fuck you better than this darling?" The man spits on your pussy, leaving a stinging sensation with another rough slap to your ass. The skin is red and he hopes to god a handprint will be left over to commemorate this blissful night. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your skull, whining like a bitch in heat as he rubs against your g-spot. You cannot talk, pussy squeezing his cock that is currently abusing your hole. And when he stops, going to press his palm flat against the side of your head you want to cry. Slowly fucking yourself back into him, you shudder, overstimulation creeping up as he hits every spot perfectly. "I asked you a question slut"

Truth is, you are afraid to answer. Things with Levi are just different. And not in a bad way, you have cried around his cock multiple times and he has certainly pleased you in the past. With Erwin drilling into you, you want to scream that he is the best you've ever had and ever will. But you also fear the repercussions, should Levi ever find out you said that you will be punished for God knows how long. But Erwin absolutely needs you to fuel his ego, he needs to fuck you better than Levi ever can. So he angles your hips a bit more and thrusts hard, keeping his tip pressed against your cervix and rubbing the spot lightly. You scream at the sensation, eyes beginning to well up from the pleasure. His hand pushes your head deeper into the bed, picking your hips up even more as he used you like a doll. "Is this all your good for princess? Nothing but a tight fuck-hole"

You cry out garbled moans of his name as he fucks you so meanly. In this moment he has full control, and you will do whatever he says. "S-so much better than Levi daddy!" He almost stops to confirm if he heard that right but he decided he would much rather fuck the confession out of you again. So he does, arching your back even more and fucking you harshly into the mattress. The bedframe is back to being thrown against the wall again, loud creaks matching his every thrust. "Your dick is so good daddy! Best I ever had!"

That is exactly what he needed to hear to lose the little bit of composure left in his body. His groans and movements are starting to become borderline animalistic. The sight is so obscene, if anyone were to walk in they would come face to face with the shock of their life. He does not worry about the noise, the only other person with living quarters on this floor is Hange and she's no snitch. Especially if she knew the Commander was involved, he was more than positive she would look the other way. The only other person he can think of who would come up here is Levi and by God he hopes he does. The thought makes his balls tighten, Levi listening on the other side of the door as his sweet girl cries around Erwin's cock.

"This pussy is mine now" The blonde commands, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. "I'm going to take you wherever I want whenever I want okay Soldier?"

"Y-yes commander!" You're fully sobbing by now, tears streaming down your face. You look sooo pretty, Erwin thinks. It is making all smart thoughts fly out the window, oh how he needs you to scream out his name.

"Say my name" The man orders, cock still stuck inside you and moving at an unrelenting speed. His stamina is almost as impressive as his cock. "Let them all know who fucks your cunt this good"

"Yes! Yes!" You nod beneath him, still pressed into the sheets as you try to ignore the loud 'CRACK!' coming from your headboard. A few more calculated thrusts are sure to make the thing fall apart. "Ohh Erwin! So good! Erwin!"

"That's it sweetheart" He moans freely into the air, hips snapping into yours. "Let them know how good your Commander fucks you"

You continue chanting his name and the second your eyes squeeze shut, walls clamping down on him the bed finally breaks. It crashes down as his cock continues to plunge into you, for some reason seeing the wood crack right down the middle makes Erwin go even harder. He desperately hopes Levi can hear the depraved noised which fill the room. Your head is growing dizzy, gasping for air as your thighs begin to shake. You try to warn him of your upcoming release but it comes much faster than anticipated, you sob as your juices spray his abs. His big heavy balls are coated with your liquid and he admires the way it almost glows with the light. And this time around he doesn't even have to remind you to scream out "Thank you! Thank you!"

"That was a big one princess" He moans, chasing his own release as his thrusts grow sloppy. His hands grip your hair even harder and you hiccup as he leans his body into yours, fucking your pussy almost lazily. The sight of you squirting will never leave his head after this, he fully intends to see you do it again. "Oh so good" He moans, finally shivering as his cock twitches. Slapping himself against your pussy he finally cums, spraying your womb with his seed. Unfortunately, thanks to Levi he is aware that you are on birth control. It's almost painful to think he has no chance of getting you pregnant, but he still imagines your stomach swollen with his child.

He pulls out, finally relaxing as he lays down beside you. Both of your chests going up and down as you try to catch your breaths. You are an absolute mess, sprawled out across the sheets-still on your stomach. Your head is facing the opposite way, in its own pile of tears and slobber from being fucked so dumbly. His cum drips out of you, a heavenly sight that he cannot tear his eyes away from. But he wants to feel you close, the man brings out a hand to trace up your spine. It makes you shiver with delight. "Let me hold you darling"

You wordlessly turn over to face him, welcoming yourself into his strong, warm arms. Your head rests on his chest, bare bodies pressed together as he softly plays with your hair. Your hands rests on his chest, feeling his heartbeat drum against your palm. Erwin kissed the top of your head softly, he feels so welcome in the comfort of your bedroom. He intends to sleep with you in his arms, and just maybe he will stay tomorrow night too if you let him.

"Erwin?" You ask hesitantly, the post-orgasm clarity kicking in as you take in the weight of your actions. You fucked your Commander, what now?

"Yes my darling?"

"What am I going to tell them about my bed?"

___

Levi is quick to make it to your room next morning. He is up bright and early, intending to catch you before you make your way down to the mess hall for breakfast. He also hopes that maybe he'll get some make-up sex out of this. He even showered the second he woke up. He knows he is an idiot and getting shitfaced last night was enough to make him realize he loves you. It is the only reason he acted so out of his character, no respect or second-thought for your feelings. He regrets it all and is fully prepared to do what it takes you make you officially belong to him.

He is at the end of the hall, only a few steps away from the staircase when he heard your door open. He hears you giggle, it makes his heart drop. He cannot remember the last time he heard your sweet laugh. And he is utterly puzzled when he sees you push Erwin out your bedroom door into the hall. You say something he can't make out and Erwin obnoxiously laughs at your words before the door closes in his face. Levi is utterly shocked as the wheels in his head turn, noticing that Erwin is still in the same clothes he wore to the Pub last night. He was not in Uniform, instead he had a few of his shirt buttons undone, the fabric very obviously wrinkled and not neatly pressed like his clothing always was. He also appears to not even be showered yet, he looks like he has just woken up. Worst of all is the God-forsaken, smug smile on his lips when Erwin finally catches sight of Levi who remains in his place at the end of the hall.

"Good morning Levi" The blonde greets.

"Erwin" Is all the raven-haired man says, that same unimpressed look on his face as always. "Were you just leaving Y/N's room? Did you sleep there?" He has no shame in asking, he needs to know.

"Oh we were just having a conversation! Don't be ridiculous" He walks closer to Levi, who remains with his arms crossed. "It seems she is need of a new bed-frame"

Levi's eye twitches, he knows that shitty thing is on it's last legs. He's partly to blame for that. "And why's that?"

Erwin sighs, slapping a hand on Levi's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it" Levi immediately throws his hand off and the man continues inching towards the staircase. "Just get back to work Captain!" Levi rolls his eyes, watching the Commander begin his descent down. "That's an order!"

#erwin smith #levi ackerman #erwin x reader #aot #aot erwin #erwin aot #aot x reader #aot smut #erwin smith smut #erwin smith x you #pt 2 w levi??#levi attack on titan #levi x reader

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city-of-ladies · 4 months ago

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Hafsa bint al-Hajj al-Rukuniyya (1135–c.1190-1191) was one of the most celebrated female poets of Al-Andalus, renowned for her intellect and literary brilliance.

Romantic affairs

Little is known about Hafsa’s childhood, except that she was born in Granada and that her father was a Berber. Growing up in this vibrant intellectual center, she likely received an excellent education.

Hafsa’s personality shines through her poetry—bold, sharp-witted, and unafraid to speak her mind. She was known for her biting satires and lived on her own terms, never concealing her love affairs.

Around 1154, she became romantically involved with the poet Abū Jaʿfar Aḥmad ibn ʿAbd al-Malik Ibn Saʿīd. Initially, she ignored his advances, as she was involved with someone else at the time. But he persisted, sending her another poem, and she eventually agreed to meet him.

Their relationship, marked by poetic exchanges, was public knowledge, despite the fact that they never married.

Royal poet

That same year, Granada fell to the Almohads, ushering in political changes. Abū Jaʿfar was appointed vizier to the new ruler of Granada, Abū Saʿīd ʿUthmān, who deeply admired Hafsa’s poetry. In 1158, he sent her as part of a diplomatic delegation to his father. Later, Hafsa was granted the town of Rakuna, securing her financial independence.

However, Abū Saʿīd ʿUthmān and Abū Jaʿfar soon became rivals for Hafsa’s affections. The ruler attempted to separate her from Abū Jaʿfar. In 1163, Abū Jaʿfar was implicated in a failed plot against him, arrested, and executed by crucifixion.

Hafsa mourned his death deeply, defiantly dressing in black despite pressure to move on.

From poet to teacher?

Did Hafsa stop writing poetry after this loss? None of her works are recorded for the next twenty years. She found a new path as a teacher. Her talents remained highly regarded, and she was chosen to educate the daughters of Caliph Yaqub al-Mansur in Marrakech.

She passed away there sometime between 1190 and 1191.

Some of Hafsa’s poems

As We Walked

As we walked together your garden gave no full-faced grin, but covered its florid blooms returning our smiles with green envy. And as we talked together your river gave no bubbly laugh, but belched and yelled to drown out our entrancement. The world doesn’t sweeten just because we turn one another to honey. Each day even the sunny dawn breaks to blot out those amorous stars.

Dressed in Mourning

Dressed in mourning, worn deeper than clothes, it’s that inner fabric inciting them to threats. God, give Your blessings to those trapped within tears, unseen as the smiles of the slain, stolen as water from a well. Let clouds garment this day, a pale offering. God’s embrace: a recompense for a hand I couldn’t lend.

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Further reading:

Glacier Osire, Femmes politiques au Maroc d’hier à aujourd’hui

Hammond Marlé, “Hafsa bint al-Hajj al-Rukuniyya”, in: Meri Josef W. (ed.), Medieval Islamic Civilisation: An Encyclopedia

Pewitt Will, "Five Poem of Ḥafṣa bint al-Ḥājj ar-Rakūniyya in Translation"

#Hafsa bint al-Hajj al-Rukuniyya #history #women in history #women's history #historyedit #12th century #morocco #moroccan history #spain #al-andalus #female authors #female poets #medieval women #middle ages

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yourlittlebunnyy · 9 months ago

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the Assassin

eris x assassin!reader

main masterlist - eris masterlist

summary: You're the Night Court Assassin and you were ordered to kill Eris.

warnings: rhysand (yes you read right)

w/c: 2,5k

a/n: im so sorry this took so long but i had a breakdown and changed the whole plot🧘‍♀️

"Rhysand, I think it's a bad idea. We must not mix personal business with court business." His jaw twitches, his eyes burn into your skin.

"Sounds to me like you're the one doing it, is there any reason stopping you from killing Eris?"

The calm, controlled tone makes you want to slap him. He may be your High Lord, but he is just so stupid sometimes. You've been in his office for a good half hour trying to make him understand that Beron's heir is the only current ally you have in the Autumn Court, and that he cannot be swayed by events that happened five hundred years ago when Eris was still a child.

"Rhysand. I already told you, you cannot order me to kill your only ally. He may be an asshole, but he has always shown himself loyal." You raise your voice in annoyance, standing up with a snap, your hands resting on his desk. He seems to assess the situation, then offers you a charming smile, the kind he uses to convince people. It doesn't work with you; you know his techniques too well.

"It is your High Lord who commands you, not Rhysand." You roll your eyes and leave the room without saying a word. You've always hated it when he says that.

You love Rhysand, you love the Night Court and the Inner Circle, you really do. They are your family, and you would give your life for them, you would kill for them, but sometimes you feel like instead of brains they have salt. Of course you're going to try every possible way not to kill Eris, and you don't care much about lying to Rhysand. You seem to be the only one who understands that if it were ever discovered that it was the Night Court a war would begin, and that Beron's heir is the only chance they have of alliance with the Autumn Court. Without him there would be no relationship. Eris may be an asshole, but he is an educated male and he knows that it is not convenient for him to betray you in any way. So why is it you who have to betray him? You go toward your room and get ready. It will be harder than expected to fake Eris's death and you do not know if you will succeed.

A few hours later, after saying goodbye to everyone, you find yourself in a forest in the Autumn Court with a bag and nothing else. The autumnal air makes you shiver, and you wonder why you didn't bring a coat. You arrive at the nearest village and stay there until you have studied the male's movements thoroughly, then take action. Although you do not share the same opinion as Rhysand, you are glad to be back on the mission. It's been months since you took part in one, and you missed it, especially the part where you can get some time away from home without too many excuses.

You see little houses in the distance, and you sigh with relief. You just want a hot meal and a bed to rest; your plan can start tomorrow. You use the light hood to hide your face, but in all these centuries you have always managed to keep your identity a secret, no one knows who the Night Court Assassin is, they probably don't even know you are part of it.As soon as you rest your head on the pillow, your eyes close.

You inevitably find yourself in front of Beron's palace, hidden in the branches of the shrubs, and you stand still and watch. You hope Eris will come out soon, but you are not sure at this point-it is already late afternoon. You know he is forced out and cannot transmute directly inside his palace, so he has to be inside.

"Damn." You mutter under your breath, the air is getting cold again, and a shiver shakes your back. You weren't prepared for all this cold.

Footsteps from behind shake you out of your little misery, and you turn sharply to find yourself facing the Heir of the Autumn Court. Your breath catches in your throat. He looks at you with a sly grin on his face, and you want to beat him until he is disfigured, but he is your ally. Nonetheless, you clasp your hand over the small dagger given to you by Amren, filled with embedded rubies. "What do we have here?" He says moving closer and closer. You assume a fighting stance, making him laugh. His laughter runs through you in a shiver. It must be the cold, you think. "The Assassin of the Night Court. Rhysand sent you to kill me." His mask of coldness does not fade but you can see his eyes, for a brief moment, shine in a different, disappointed light. You gloss over how Eris knows your identity, leaving the subject for later.

"Yes. Rhysand sent me to kill you, but I will not take part in this." You put the dagger back in its case after realizing he will not harm you, under the his watchful gaze. His eyes squint slightly, his eyebrows arched. "Are you surprised?" You ask him chuckling. As much as you disagree with Rhysand's choice, you also know that from Eris it would be foolish not to expect such a thing. Your High Lord is an unpredictable male who is so incredibly full of himself that he thinks he can afford such strategic moves.

"Why?" He asks you harshly, his jaw clenched and his eyes unhappy. Maybe, given his reaction, he really did trust Rhysand.While you would like to explain your plan to him, at the same time you don't know if you can put your entire trust in him. Eventually your rational side prevails, and you decide to remain vague. You will not reveal the weaknesses of your Court, that is, Rhysand's stupidity, to -yes, an ally- but to a member of another Court. Especially since his father is still alive. "I do not know. I just follow orders."

"Liar." His mocking tone mixed with his smirk make you bring a hand back to the dagger, its presence under your fingertips a comforting chill. Yes, he's definitely an asshole, though.

"I'm not- you know what, forget it." You say as you roll your eyes. You move to get past him, but he grabs your wrist, blocking you before you can. You're so close that you feel his breath warm your face, and in a way you're grateful: you haven't felt your nose in a while now. His eyes settle on yours and you swear you can see flames burning inside.

"You don't go anywhere without first telling me what your intentions are." The tone is cold, so at odds with the warmth emanating from his body. You don't look away and keep your gaze on him, your chin high and proud. If he thinks he's intimidating you, he's a fool. You have certainly not been appointed the Assassin of the Night Court at random.

"I go where I please. When I please." You answer just as coldly, your jaw tight and your eyes bloodshot.

"Until proven otherwise you are in my Court, Assassin." Until proven otherwise you have enough evidence to have him sentenced to death for treason by his Court. But you decide to keep quiet. Your lips are clamped in a hard line, your body tense partly from the cold, partly because you are annoyed. When he realizes you won't give him the satisfaction of a pointless bickering, he lets go of your wrist and steps back. You almost want to complain about being denied his warmth, but you call yourself stupid for such a thought. Eris is a charming male, but you must remain professional. And he is an prick, you mentally remind yourself.

"And when your High Lord notices that you have not completed your assignment, what will he do to you?" The question leaves you speechless for moments. No, not his question, but his voice. His tone almost ... worried. You imagine it's because his body has deserted him from the adrenaline of the moment, and now questions must be filling his mind. It has happened before with your past victims, but there was never time to converse with them. You always killed them first, you realize.

"So?" He insists, but you don't honestly know what to answer. It never occurred to you to disregard orders. You have always killed anyone without much question, always indifferent. In the end, blood is blood, no matter whose. It will always be red and warm, won't it? You shrug your shoulders. Eris arches his eyebrows, his gaze studies your figure.

"I don't know. I never happen to object." You admit.

"Why do you oppose, then? Kill me." The tone is sarcastic, but it still leaves you stunned. There is some kind of internal struggle in your mind, something you don't understand. His questions strike deeper and you just don't understand why, since they are not that personal."No..." You whisper, and stand amazed at yourself. Your tone is feeble, like a wounded fawn. What the hell? You cough a couple of times, embarrassed. "I don't think it's appropriate. You're the only ally of the Autumn Court that my Court possesses. I can't kill you." Eris does not respond. You take a moment to observe him, not to observe his unmistakable beauty, but to observe just...him. The cuticles around his nails are reddened, the now-dried blood staining them red. One hand is so clenched around the sword at his side that his knuckles have turned white, his gaze is nervous, and you notice how he looks around as if expecting someone to jump out at any moment.

"Then leave, and don't come back. You have to say these things to your little friend, not to me." And while before it was really him who blocked you, now he seems the first to want to leave. You try to reach out a hand as he takes the first step, but he reacts badly to the contact: he pulls it away annoyed, his lips rippling in a disgusted grin. It shouldn't displease you, but it does."He won't listen to me, Eris." You hope he reads between the lines. Stay, we have so much to talk about. But he shakes his head, and leaves you alone in the middle of the now-darkened forest, the only thing you're left with is the distant sound of the leaves rattling when he steps on them.

The truth is that you have no plan. For the first time in your long life you admit to yourself that you have no idea how to proceed. This is exactly because you do not cover the role of Azriel: you are not capable of mixing strategy and plans and all these things at your job. You kill, kill, kill. That's the only thing you can do flawlessly. So now that you are faced with such a situation you are even scared.

You lie in bed for hours, the sun now clearing the sky, and you decide to get up. What would be the point of staying in bed and doing nothing?

You opt for a coffee at some old inn in the small village, hoping you'll wake up. And awaken some ideas with you. The only conclusion you have come to tonight is that you have little time. There are several possibilities, and all of them include having to act now to prevent them. Starting right with Eris. You have to seek him out and talk to him again, before he gets to Rhysand and before he kicks you out of his Court. At least there is no chance of him running to his father, you think relieved.

Four cups of pure caffeine later, you walk through the woods again, the usual cold breeze giving you goose bumps. You stand on a tree branch, your legs dangling and your back resting lazily against the trunk. The Autumn Court may be cold, but it is wonderful. The bright colors are able to cheer up your tattered mood from yesterday's night and meeting, and distract you from the cold. It is a different beauty from what you are used to: Velaris is boisterous, always full of life, and full of construction. As beautiful as it is, you think this is more so. It is calmer, more natural, more intimate. There are no big cities, but small self-sufficient villages, nature prevails over buildings.

You spend the whole day on the branch. You have lunch with an apple that you cut with your dagger, some cheese and bread. You have dinner with dried meat and a dessert you picked up at the inn this morning. You wait for Eris to return, or at least for there to be any movement at the palace. But nothing.

The radio silence lasts longer than necessary. At this point you think it's some kind of torture the redhead is subjecting you to. Every day you sit in your tree, eat apples and typical cheeses that you buy in the morning in the village, and do nothing. Eris never goes out. You begin to think there is another entrance that you are not aware of, and since you have nothing to do now, you decide to retrace the wall that protects the palace. You had already walked it on the first day, finding no other exits or open entrances, but you might as well try again.

The outcome, however, is the same: nothing at all. You are almost tempted to break in yourself and rush past the door to its rooms, but you hold back.When you return the next day, you already know how it will turn out. And as professional as you are in your work, you decide not to be today and take a break. You step away from your observation zone and wander among the enchanting places in the Autumn Court.

The break stretches longer than expected, but the forest seems to call your name every morning when you arrive at your tree. Something inside you urges you to keep going and going, keep wandering and exploring new places, and it never leaves you disappointed: each time you find breathtaking scenery, the mission forgotten and turned into more of a vacation than anything else. You know that sooner or later Rhysand will ask for updates, but it's not a problem you're asking yourself now, just as you're walking down a small path that looks like it hasn't been walked for long, curious where it will take you.

You've never gone this far before, and you're not quite sure where you are. The air is getting colder and wetter, chills run through your body, but you can't give up now, you're too curious where it leads. Hours later, having finished your humble dinner of bread and sausage, your feet beg for mercy, but you don't stop.The moon is high in the sky when you glimpse a small cottage in the distance. You would think it is uninhabited were it not for the smoke coming from the chimney. The closer you get, the more you catch a glimpse of its details. It is not as shabby as you thought, in fact, it looks lovely, and you almost plan to ask for shelter for the night. Your heart starts beating faster, and that little voice that first commanded you a week ago to explore the Court seems to scream and spur you on and on and on.

You listen to it, and when you arrive in front of the porch it doesn't stop. The wood creaks under your boots, your feet now frozen. You stretch your neck to see inside through the windows, but they are covered by curtains and the only thing you notice is a faint reddish light probably coming from the path. You rub your hands together, blowing on them. The little voice rises, come in, it says, come in, come in. And once again you listen to it. You reach out a hand to knock, but the door opens before your knuckles even touch the fine wood.

taglist: @imma-too-many-fandoms @zaozao @babypeapoddd

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adrian-sheppy · 1 month ago

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WHY BUTTERMIND IS END GAME AND I CAN PROVE IT TO YOU. COME TO MY butTEDmind TALK.

(thank you to MY FRIEND @blushft for clipping these for me so I cAN Objectivuely prove to EBVERYONE here why buttermind is end game. Thank You.)

people look at us buttermind truthers like we are fools . But no more I say. Im here to help You expand your arsenal of why buttermind is true and beautoful. But no… not just our loadbearing man Ill kill yous or similar vocal stims or I could totally take gordons…. This is Evidence from Freemans Mind 2, Tgats right. The one where gordon doesn’t even know who barney is…. Or does he? We are positing to you this: what If gordon USED to know who barney was, but convienently,,,, forgot? I HEAR YOU. “Sheppy. What the Fuck are you Talking About. He clearly said Not Ringing A Bell in freemans mind 2 episode 1, and laater in that same episode made fun of Barney’s choice of words about how impossible it would be for gordon to recognize him out of the thousands of employees at Black Mesa…. ” LISTEN : two things.

after getting bashed by the military, he had temporary memory loss and forgot all about the rescas, aliens, etc. We as the audience have no way of knowing if he regained ALL of his memories if you’re of the camp that gordon rarely talks about his interpersonal relationships (like with Barney, Stark, Felix, Jesse, etc. He mentions eddie only a handful of times despite eddie being his Only friend).

Gordon is……….. easily influenced by hypnosis. Like to a comical degree. Gmind doesn’t even need mind powers to do this to him. To keep gordon complacent with moving forward on his mission, gmind could have simply waved a coin on a string in front of gordon and it would have worked. Hes very suggestable.

You can go with either story here; I like to think it’s a combination of Both. So now you ask “ok sheppy Nice ideas. But where’s your evidence?” . I HAVE SOME. For you. Evidence that Gordon once knew Barney, but doesn’t anymore, but his subconcious still does…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXHIBIT A:

“Taking shit from a guard.”

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Gordon earlier claimed to not know who Barney was… and yet, here he is, saying something like “Taking shit from a guard” after Barney needles him a bit. How did Gordon know Barney was a guard? It’s not mentioned by anyone. Barney only said He was from Black Mesa. The only indication that Barney WASN’T a scientist at black mesa would be his jab of “MIT education really pays for itself” --- but that could have equally come from someone who went to a rival school. Gordon isn’t calling Barney a guard because of his metrocop uniform --- he has already correctly identified metrocops AS cops. There are other jobs at Black Mesa. Barney could’ve been in IT, a repair man, someone on the “business” side, janitor, chef, etc… yet gordon calls him a guard. HMMMMM…. CURIOUS. BI-CURIOUS!

EXHIBIT B:

Kleiner doesn’t need anyone to take care of him = Barney please come with me <3 <3

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This is a smaller point. It’s just a moment where, when read between the lines, Gordon is basically asking Barney to come with him. Barney says he has to stay with Kleiner, but Gordon says kliener doesn’t need anyone. The unspoken implication here is that Gordon wants Barney to come with him. Barney doesn’t need to guard kleiner, in context barney was talking about coming with Gordon, and Gordon made a rebuttal against that point. But its written so beautifully and masterfully by Ross Scott; Gordon doesn’t KNOW he wants this/. ITS ALL SUBCONCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There Are Buttermind Cathedrals Everywgere fFor Those with the Eyes To See…………………………… bravo vince.

EXHIBIT C:

“if that IS your real name!” (barney)

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As we all know, Barney is literally fat and transgender. This is just objectively canon so I don’t need to Present evidence for that right now . So, Barney is transgender ftm , but Barney is a masc name, so he mustve had his name legally changed at some point in time. Gordon would know about this, because I think he would know his boyfriend is transgender due to the gay sex that they canonically have (barney can totally take gordon !) . Whether or not Gordon knows barney’s deadname is not relevant; what IS relevant is that Gordon senses that Barney’s “real name” isn’t barney --- this isn’t transphobia. Gordon forgot barney, ergo forgot he was transgender also. All that is left is some subconcious knowledge of Barney’s name being “changed” in some way. That results in him thinking Barney may be a fake name. Something is “off” about barney and he doesn’t know what. He’s grappling with strange feelings and processing them through his usual lense of distrust. Again, not intentional transphobia! Gordon isnt transphobic, hes just an amnesiac dealing with odd, conflicting feelings of familiarity and remoteness. What a masterclass of writing !

EXHIBIT D:

MARIOGATE

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Gordon has swapped how he says mario from freemans mind 1 to freemans mind 2. Thats just weird, right? Why did he say that? Why did he change within the span of a few days? WHATS DIFFERENT? HIS FUCKING MEMORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said mehrio to piss barney (gamer) off. Because pissing barney off is funny. Now he doesn’t remember barney. He doesn’t remember his funny mehrio bit. He’s been reduced to a man who says mario like a normal guy. Its so tragic. He needs to remember barney right now so he can be a healed individual and say mehrio again……!

Okat. That is the evidence we have fpr now. freemans mind 2 isnt done yet, and obviously ross scott is writing a tragic but beautiful story about a man who Forgot His lover , but will remember in the fully animated SFM finale with custom lore accurate models where they will share a passionate Kiss …! and everyone will clap and it will be epic sauce.

IN CONCLUSUOB,

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FCUK BARNEY, HE WANTS THAT FAT BOY,

#THIS IS MY TRUTH.#gordon freemind #barmey calhoun #freeman's mind #mindverse #buttermind #freemind #barney's mind #Youtube

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maellaya · 8 months ago

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Mouthwashing OC !!

mouthwashing brainrot rn!! here's my oc :33. im not confident enough to post it on tiktok ahahaha,, all ya gotta know is she's basically (AND really heavily inspired by) a female version of sakamoto tatsuma from gintama and bobby fulbright from ace attorney... thank u🚶🏻‍♀️

more YAPPING info about her and her relationship/interaction with the crew!

- apphia means "to increase" and

-risa means "laugh"

- so her names basically increasing laughter,,

- joined the pony express services out of desperation. wanted to fulfill her mom & dad's wishes as their eldest daughter - for her to be able to have a stable job enough to support her younger siblings to get them into education. they were around lower middle class

- originally wanted to pursue painting/fine arts! she's good at it, but had to choose practicality over passion

- easily matches the vibe with daisuke with her cheeriness. they get along pretty well.

- does help with daisuke and/or swansea from time to time and visits the utility room when she's not busy in the engine room

- i don't have anythin to imagine her interaction with curly but she does help daisuke with getting away with the sweetener by rizzing the captain up

- 30/70 chance it works

- is surprisingly close with anya even though they don't seem to interact much. she loves to get into deep talks with her in any given chance or circumstances when it's just the two of them

- i'd like to think that she purposefully gets jimmy's name wrong every time and condescendingly laughs at every interaction w him cause she hates him THAT much secretly behind her air-headed and overly optimistic demeanour, but he's not probably able to tell the difference and doesn't care enough because she does laugh all the time. he does get pissed off and maybe has nightmares of her laughter 24/7

- "ahahahaha, me and jimmers are buddy buddies! isn't that right, jingle bells?"

-"it's jimmy. you almost got it right the first time."

-"right, my bad, jambalaya!"

-"..."

- she may not seem like she's emotionally intelligent, given the fact that she's always laughing at unnecessary moments, but she's really good at perceiving and handling the others' emotions

- lowkey a therapist w the advice she gives

- RARELY is serious tbh,,

- has a small scar across her upper left cheek near the eyes. she wears these shades so it's not that much noticeable.

- only one dimple at her right cheek whenever she smiles or laughs

- she's FILIPINO?!?!

- curses in tagalog

- this is the LONGEST i've actually written and posted here, thank you for reading!! tune in if you'd like to see more of Apphia :3!!

#mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #oc #oc artwork #mouthwashing fanart #mouthwashing oc #original character #anya mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing

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pastadoughie · 6 months ago

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other posts abt this are getting deleted

my brother killed himself- the one i actually like somewhat (ryan) & not the nazi shithead who tried to choke me to death this time last year (julian). i am the youngest of 3.

hes kinda a complicated guy, similar to how they treat me i only ever get to hear about him through other family members making fun of him for his every issue - so much of what i know is negative.

most of my opinion of ryan for the past 4 years maybe has been sortof admiring- atleast in comparison to my other family members- hes the only one who actually shielded me from julians constant phisical abuse, & the only one with the sense to realize that my entire family is a bunch of miserable abusive leaching assholes who are best off associated with as little as possible. i may think hes a racist & a bit of an idiot but i still really respect him as the only person who doesnt treat me like eaither a rabid dog or a walking suicide note

its a bit offputting to me honestly- the last time i had a close relationship with him was when he was a terminally online barely legal teenager- boyblogging about my little pony & fat bitches on the internet & trying to escape a deeply abusive home life dispite having no money & no education. primary difference being with me being trans & disabled & my abuse more overt & overarching i dont really get the luxury of having any kind of positive feelings about anyone in my family. i wouldve been dead years ago if i hadnt learned how to deal w/ myself & my emotions entirely independantly. its a recursive cycle i suppose

he called a few family members shitfaced drunk the day of- was made fun of them by every one, a few hours later was supposed to go to work. drove onto an empty road in his lexis at night. driving straight before making an entirely unessasary turn to veer off the road- flipping his car multiple times over. dieing on impact- hes gotten in many accidents before- & had flipped that car & gotten hurt previously & likely rendered much of its safety features unusable.

in all likelyhood probably alot about money- a certain degree of reckless drinking & petty theft charges & unpayably expensive car repairs & your problems stop really being fixable- needing a level of both financial & mental health intervention that nobody is wiling/capable of providing to someone they veiw as a drunk.

i dont have many thoughts on this topic that i feel are meaningful- im someone primarily apathetic & only incedentally empathetic- i only show proper emotions in maybe small 20 minute intervals once in a blue moon

my primary source of emotion has just been how angry my entire family seems to be at me specifically- a unanimous & explicit & constant reminder that they would really really really rather i kill myself then them have to ever look at me or deal with my stupid inability to do seemingly easy tasks like work & schooling. i guess theyll never really get any self awareness. in many ways i dont respect any of them- even ignoring everything else theyve ever done thats just kindof a ghoulish & overly cruel thing to say- but you cant tharapyspeak your way out of being atleast a little emotional about your entire family wanting you dead

im just gonna keep silly posting as usual. abiet maybe somewhat lower energy. especially because people are seemingly incapable of treating me like a normal human being & not flattening me down to solely my life situation, out of some strange assumption that treating someone like a 1d characature of a mentally ill person from a tharapy training course is somehow less offensive then saying something mildly triggering by accident

#the beast speaks #the tranny tarr pit #not really

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lzrsaugust · 2 months ago

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Tamlin headcannons (w/ a lil doodle) for @tamlinweek

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

Day 1: Forgiveness/Change

headcanons/plot ideas that I have been thinking of but never got around to writing, maybe I will some day, but I might as well put the ideas out rn :D

(I yap a lot and this is stream of thought kind of typing and its not edited so... be warned, and forgive my spelling)

Lil pink one was what I prepared originally but I didn't like it so heres a wip Ill never finish; genderbend sad boi (gorl) Tamlin

hmmmm... idk much about forgiveness, but sometimes I like to think abt before he became high lord?... something something family drama, something something explore his family's characters' relation to him and stuff

the only thing we really kinda know abt the brothers is that they would abuse Tam, and my headcanon is that this is part of his father's manipulations. Their father (imma call him Cernunnos for now, plz dont come after me i havn't had the time to research deeply yet), would pit the brothers against each other. which lowk ties w/ another headcanon that 1. children of spring come in pairs,especially that of high lord's family, 2. Cernunnos would kill his own children. So Tam used to have many elder siblings who rebeled against their father and died, b/c they worked together and was able to almost overthrow this tyrant, Cernunnos then started to sepereate his children via sepereate education, torture and stuff. he would use shapeshifting powers to impersonate the brothers to torment (as in torture and stuff) the others and create rifts in their relationship, keeping them controlled and mostly trusting in him, hes like a sweet manipulator rat better take notes.

ANYWAYS BACK TO FORGIVENESS, at some point, Tamlin and the brothers find out. (oh btw the brothers are one of the surviving set of twins, and tam either had a twin, who died/was killed at birth, or was born alone plot reasons) The twins themselves are already pretty tight, they have a lil bit of an age gap- im thinking 20-25 ish years right so, they find out when tams 20-30 ish so at least 2 decades after the human war. at first shit is awkward, like bro i thought u sliced and diced and dissected me (shapeshifting powers dont ask, ill elaborate day uh 4); so they try civility, One of the brothers have a lover and illegitamate (technically since they arn't married) and they bond and stuff right, and they slowly start to trust and like bond as brothers :D

the twins being trained to be heirs know how bad of a state the spring court is in, how the tyranny of Cernunnos is destroying their court. so they plot to overthrow him, doing more bonding and healing :D

a couple months later the incident w/ the night court happens and his fresh bonds w/ his brothers are abruptly severed. that started out as Cernunnos calling all his sons into his office, presenting the bodies of the lover, child and tams friend- The night court princess, they fight and the spring mansion turns into an open battleground, they have a huge fight and the twins protecting Tam, gets injured, then rat and his father come and then shit goes down.

for the longest time Tam struggles with forgiving himself, if his brothers wern't injured protecting him they would have survived, if they were more careful, things would be better. centuries later, as spring falls to hybern he kinda relives this and he really just stuggles with forgiving himself, hes too much of a softie and cares too much and is too perceptive and self aware to blame anyone else

that probably made little sense but tldr; more angst for Tam, bc life hates him

Moving on to change,

I was kinda thinking of how Tam essentially had to rebuild his court 3.5 times kinda, 1.the first time when he became high lord, 0.5 when ammyranthy comes in with her special bran of tyranny (him accepting refugees into his court and the chaos of what rat does), 2, when her reign ends, 3 after hybern, so my boi is really going through it

following the death of his family, hes really going through it, the old corrupt officials of the court try to take advantage of him and stuff, and like he can see how the old way aint gonna do shit if he really wants to build a court where people canhave the freedom he won't ever truely get

so in the attempts to change the ruling system as, he kicked all of the officials out of the court (the corrupt ones), he just listed names at a meeting, and went "xyz, abc, def. and so, youre now exiled from the capital (or smth) you may go"

tactless and an absolute disaster, those nobles/officials then went on to spread rumors about how, theyre being replaced as the start of a new tyrant's reign, uh timeline wise, hes about 60 ishhh bc fae age slowly hes pretty much a teen on the throne, which just givesmore ammunition to his enemies in court. reputation in tatters, he continues to try to fix spring, he cant just abandon them bc shit is hard, no matter what happened with his father this is still his home. so he tries, by day hes tryna pull stuff together with the remaining officials, by night studying court customs, laws and other stuff he needs to know but never got a chance (or really wanted to) learn.

i headcanon that he tried to change the system so that the people has a say in what happens and stuff, after sometime and kicking the corrupt people out (or before), he goes and visits each corner of his court, check in on the people, get to know them, see what they want, propose them choose someone to represent their region or species or both, to build a council for democracy and shit (fae that he grows to trust to shut him up if hes being stupid) around this time, while living like a nomad going around his court, his somewhat friendly aquaitence (?????) eris, sends a message (personally i think this is his first time meeting lucien) and they take him back to spring.

time passes, the the court grows and florishes, inner court peace, everyone gets along and stuff, rainbows and sunshines yipee! he even has allies in other court (largely a cortesy of Lucien, its not that Tam doesn't have friends in other courts, eris, former heirs of summer and winter ect, tam just sucks when dealing with official stuff) then amyranthy happens.

😮‍💨 oh boy.. anyways

refugees move in, all sorts of fae, low budget elves, faery, spirits and stuff, and slowly spring changes again, the acceptance of other court fae, the spring community, mostly accepting but cautious of other courts get more and more friendly with the refugees, and at some point, some of them become citizens of spring staying even after utm

after utm, rebuilding the court was still lowk hell. everything was pretty rough being overrun by amyranthy's, and the return of the high fae from under the mountain, things are mostly going smoothly bc of the council and stuff, but as Tam still insists on doing both the ruling part and clearing the monsters to not lose more sentry lives, hes stretched realll thin but its fine, its fine, idk what going on with canon, i think feyres pov is kinda fucked up for reasons (but i digress) i like to think that while it used to start out for taxes, it no longer is, its more of a gathering, of the people, for a 10 days or smth, they come together, celebrate meet with the high lord, open booths for buisnesses and trade and its over all a very celebratory thing that happens yearly (most taxes are already collected, by region and those in charge.)

anyways after the shitshow of feyre, its like the 3rd time he has to pull his court together and at this point hes fucking tired, but his like nah i gotta be there for spring, swore his loyalty and stuff, and his council is like, nah get out of here take a break, which is not really a great idea bc hes in a poor mental state to be left alone.

through all of this, he went from being a happy child, to being a soldier, then forced to wear the crown. he did it well considering his background.

born a poet, forced to be the soldier- then the king ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა

eheeh mightve gone a lil bit off topic ��്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

#tamlin headcanons #pro tamlin #tamlinweek2025 #general tamlin #tamlin week 2025

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queenshelby · 2 years ago

Text

Our Little Secret (Part 13)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Brief Mention of Stillbirth

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

Two weeks had passed and you had almost moved on with your life which did not involve your family.

Your mother had kicked you out of her own house following your tryst with Cillian. But as luck would have it, your cousin Lukas had offered you a place to stay after Emma's parents too would not allow you to remain at their family home for more than a week.

You had to find a job quickly to sustain yourself and fortunately, you managed to secure employment at a local bookstore. The hours were flexible, and they paid decently, making your living situation somewhat manageable under these circumstances.

School, however, had to give way to your new lifestyle and you chose to transfer to college in the evening in an attempt to finish your education.

As far as Cillian was concerned, you had not heard from him since that afternoon, leaving you in a state of limbo regarding your relationship status with him.

From the local papers, you since learned that he had finally left Danielle and was now publicly fighting for custody of his son Max who the columns claimed was not his actual son at all.

Yet none of this mattered as you sat there staring blankly into space, haunted by memories and regret. Overwhelmed by guilt and confusion, you tried to block out the past few months - how you became entangled in such a mess with no future, only moments spent locked away from the world. But, it wasn’t easy. It felt as though the entire universe conspired to punish you for daring to experience passion beyond societal norms, yet you continued searching deep inside yourself for answers that wouldn't come easily.

You were pregnant with Cillian's child and an abortion was not currently something you could afford emotionally nor financially, forcing you to confront your reality alone. For the first time in years, the choices you made seemed to echo hollowly in your ears as you attempted to navigate this complex web of deceit, betrayal, and self-discovery.

"Em, I do not know what to do," you admitted honestly, breaking down in tears as she visited you, just like she did every day after you finished work.

Emma pulled you close, offering comfort as she held you tight.

"We're going to figure this out together," she assured you reassuringly, wiping away your tears. "But I honestly think that you need to tell Cillian," Emma added cautiously. "He has a right to know."

Her advice struck a chord in you, causing you to sit upright and nod thoughtfully.

"I asked him if he could meet, about a week ago, and he never got back to me, Em!" you said, feeling worthless and unwanted.

"He is going through a lot himself and he doesn't know about you carrying his child. Maybe you should try and give him a call again?" Emma interjected, attempting to mediate.

Despite Emma's suggestion, you remained hesitant, unsure whether reaching out to Cillian was the right decision. Nevertheless, you decided to pick up your phone and call him regardless of the consequences.

After a series of rings, someone else picked up on the other end – a stranger.

“Hello, can I speak to Cillian please?” you asked politely, trying hard to maintain composure amidst growing anxiety.

"Who am I speaking to?" replied the unfamiliar voice, curiosity evident in her tone.

”This is Y/N and I really need to speak with him,” you introduced yourself, taking a deep breath in preparation for what might follow. “Is Cillian available, please?” you begged and, just after you did, there was silence on the line for several seconds before the woman spoke up again.

"So, you are the homewrecker?" she snarled bitterly, anger radiating from her voice.

You flinched upon hearing those harsh words directed at you. You didn't expect the person answering Cillian's phone to actually know who you were, but then again, you did not know about the woman on the other line either.

"Listen, my brother isn't available. Don't call again. Please don't bother him anymore," came the venomous reply. Taken aback by the hostility, you couldn't understand why she reacted so aggressively when you hadn't even spoken poorly of Cillian. After a momentary pause, you found your voice.

"Actually, it's important we talk, whether you like it or not," you stated resolutely, ignoring the sharp edge in her voice. There was another brief silence followed by a mocking laughter that broke the air.

"Listen sweetheart, Cillian is going through legal proceedings against his wife, Danielle, because of you. He should not be speaking to you and if you call this phone again, I will provide you with a cease-and-desist letter on my brother's behalf. Any further contact will be considered as harassment, " she threatened ominously making you realise that the woman on the other end of the line was not only Cillian's sister, but also his solicitor, handling his custody case.

You recalled having met her at the funeral a few weeks ago. Her name was Alison and she worked at one of the largest law firms in Dublin.

As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that she despised you with an intensity that took you off guard. To make matters worse, she insisted you ceased communication with Cillian altogether. This was problematic considering she served as both Cillian's attorney and sister, putting her in a unique and potentially influential position.

You struggled to comprehend the full extent of your predicament until now. How were you supposed to inform Cillian about the child growing inside you without incurring the wrath of his sister?

It appeared impossible. Nonetheless, you had to reach out somehow, eventually, and hope for understanding from both sides despite their conflicted history.

As days turned into weeks, you grew increasingly anxious and restless, worrying constantly about how you were going to break the news to Cillian as the dire three-month mark drew nearer and you had yet another appointment with a local social worker to discuss your situation.

She offered you both, a community funded loan to carry out the procedure you needed or the option of putting you in touch with an adoption agency so that, further down the track, you could give up your child if you desired to do so.

Although it may seem cruel, it seemed practical and logical in light of your situation and, in the end, even Emma agreed with you on that front. The idea that you could choose whether or not to become a parent appealed to your desire for control over your destiny. However, this was easier said than done. Having a baby meant drastically altering your course forever, but you also knew that, not having the baby, might cause you regret.

The choice loomed large, casting its shadow over your daily existence. You frequently found yourself pondering the gravity of your options while walking along the quiet streets surrounding your temporary residence late at night. You often stopped in your tracks, contemplating your fate as a result of your irresponsible actions.

Life seemed determined to play itself out according to the chaos you created. Every passing day brought you closer to facing the inevitable truth and this truth was now something you had to confront by yourself. Without the man who caused all this by your site.

Tags:

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#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian fanfic #cillianmurphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction

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tiesthatbind-tf · 9 months ago

Note

You said Sentinel was Optimus’s mentor in your AU? What was that partnership like before Optimus left? How did Sentinel treat him, I mean?

Oh, we're going to have to pull up a chair for this hot dumpster fire.

You get some homework reading beforehand.

Optimus Prime (Omar Parvez) and his parents (Mirza and Ariya) are Kurdish political refugees from Iran who were granted asylum in the UK, and Optimus first crossed paths with Sentinel Prime (Sedgewick Princeton), when Sentinel was a young cop. Mirza was a college professor, Ariya was a journalist, needless to say they had people who wanted them silenced, and at one point of time, Sentinel (back then 27) responded to a home invasion at their apartment and saved Mirza's life. OP and Sentinel spoke back then when Sentinel was attempting to calm him down (he made the emergency call as a terrified seven-year-old) and it was this moment that inspired OP as a child to look into law enforcement as a career option when he grew up.

OP put in the work, made the cut to the military/law class despite hailing from parents in the art/education class, and caught the eye of Sentinel, who had become London Police Commissioner. Sentinel, both impressed by OP's work ethic and getting a bit of an ego boost that OP was inspired by him, decided to take OP under his wing when OP graduated, and began work in the Hackney borough.

At this point, Sentinel and OP's relationship was very good. OP was dutiful, excelled in his tasks and showed a lot of initiative, and he treated OP like a son, even to the point of trying to set OP up on blind dates! But OP would see some subtle warning signs, where Sentinel would compliment him in a way that disparaged his background (think the "you're a credit to your people"/"would you believe the child of mere book keepers could become a warrior" type 'compliments'), and played him up as a model minority to an uncomfortable degree.

The real rift started when OP was made Chief Superintendent of the Dead End as a trial by fire (its two previous Chief Superintendents had quit on the job), where he would oversee enforcement there without Sentinel's input and if it worked out, he would be promoted to deputy commissioner in Scotland Yard. OP strayed away from Sentinel's standard policing protocol for a more holistic/facilitative form of policing that focused more on public welfare than making arrest quotas and punitive action.

OP sees severe issues with the system, Sentinel thinks it's working as intended to 'keep order'; OP begins to see cracks in the Sentinel's pedestal and the callousness behind Sentinel's facade of propriety, Sentinel begins to see OP as not as a student, but as a rival, especially when OP's methods work. Both end up in disagreements and rows so bad that Sentinel would hamstring OP's station funding and send his men down there to police OP, because Sentinel still has authority over OP (thought not enough to strip OP of his position in the Dead End because NOTHING OP is doing is technically wrong, it's simply getting in the way of locking up all these 'undesirables' and investments from gentrifying the place).

And when OP gets in the bad graces of Proteus and several Senate members for being a loudmouthed upstart, Sentinel takes the opportunity to throw OP under the bus, fire him and have him blacklisted from future military/law enforcement positions.

That said, whatever schadenfreude Sentinel felt seeing OP reduced to a dockworker (see where disobeying me gets you), was immediately decked in the face by the realisation that OP is no fool; OP had made connections with Hotspot, Ratchet, and local activists to ensure through a network of initiatives and legalities that Dead End remains cared for and in the hands of its residents, regardless of its superintendent.

Sentinel has never forgotten this and has harbored a deep disdain for OP ever since, a disdain which turns into hate when he finds our years later than OP is one of the two rebel leaders of the workers' revolution clashing heads with his forces.

The point of absolutely no return is when Sentinel has OP's father, his only living parent at that point, arrested and publicly executed for sedition via dissemination of banned literature (there is a bit of a personal slant to this; a part of Sentinel is always angry that OP would never see him as a father figure and despite having the strength and discipline of a warrior, remains that soft-hearted, kindly book keeper at heart) in an attempt to crush OP's morale and draw OP and Megatron out into the open (also, it's an interesting narrative bookend, given that Sentinel had saved Mirza on the job years ago; he sees himself in a position to hold both life and death in his hands) The hatred is mutual after this point, and OP prefers to avoid any discussion of Sentinel to this day.

#inbox #lore #save for later #humanformers #optimus prime #sentinel prime

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justgrey · 1 year ago

Note

What if a teen reader ACCIDENTALLY came out to the TF2 mercenaries? "came out" meaning generally queer in sexuality. the teen would be worried and anxious afterward because they don't want the mercs to hate them for it. (this is based on myself as a girl-loving girl but it can be written for any gender)

you ask, you finally receive. Might start cutting requests down. idk, I feel like writing for some reason. Who knows how long that's gonna last, though.

also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN, just be aware that i might not get it out for a long, long time because motivation works weirdly😇

Mercs with a queer reader (PART 1)

Scout, Engineer, Medic

Warnings : fear of being rejected, swearing, a couple of hcs, medic is his own warning

Being queer is hard. And being able to not tell anyone (if you're like me and wanna live comfortably) is hard too.

The way they find out is if you got really cosy with them, and I'm talking being invited to Engie's barbecues, Spy letting you smoke one of his fancy ass cigars, and Scout tossing balls to you and acting like an older brother towards you kind of cosy.

So, one day, you accidentally let it slip during a conversation at dinner, having gotten way too comfortable.

Everyone except Medic and Spy was there, choosing to skip to do "work" instead. Your words quieted the whole damn room.

Whatever you did next is up to you. Whether you took it on proudly and kept eating or walked off to your bedroom to cry, up to you.

Reactions

Scout

Scout's unfamiliar with queer people. He didn't know any, and he wasn't taught anything about them.

He is especially unfamiliar with queer men. If you are a queer man, he'd be asking you all the time when he first finds out:

"How don't you find her hot? Or her? Do you find 'dat asshole, Spy hot? Is 'dat how dis works???"

Not with the intention of being slightly offensive, though. Just curious because he kind of struggles to wrap his head around the fact you're queer.

He always had a feeling that you weren't straight as a line, though. He hung around you a lot, even if you were annoyed by him, because he kind of wanted to finally be an older brother because he's always been the youngest.

So this is all a learning experience for him.

He'd definitely stay quiet for a little while, scaring you, before he randomly approaches you the next day.

"So... you like, what... in ta' ladies/dudes?"

(If you like girls, he'd definitely be the guy to say, "Holy shit, me too!" As a way to bond)

"Yeah."

"That's cool... that's cool... wanna talk about it more, or do you wanna go play ball?"

"Play ball."

"Let's go play ball, 'den."

Nothing changes about your relationship. Although he does occasionally ask if someone is your type or not, wanting to learn more about you. But in the end, as long as you still wanna hang around with him, he'll be chill.

Engineer

Unlike Scout, he is educated in queer people. He knows a couple, and he thinks they're pretty cool. Medic is also out to him because he's definitely gay (and trans because I like it that way)

Absolutely nothing changes with Engineer. He doesn't treat you any different or ask you any questions, just continues as normal, but encourages you to talk to him about things because he's definitely experienced it himself.

"You know, you could'a told me that earlier. I wouldn't have judged ya'. I've roamed around that area myself a little too."

"YOU WHAT?!?"

He just likes to get out there and try random shit. He looks like a boring guy, but he's way deeper than the southern merc on the surface.

Just talk to him :(

Medic

He wasn't there when you accidentally came out. He was finishing up an experiment on some organs.

When someone does tell him about it, though, he can't care less because he's queer too.

He also transed his gender. It's not my problem, it's yours now.

Definitely did his own top surgery ngl. Madman. Also discovered how to extract testosterone from sources and synthetically make it. Officially, a pioneer in trans healthcare. Hit him up if you want sum.

He treats you normally because he really doesn't give a fuck. He basically comes out to you as well, though:

"So you don't care."

"Nope."

"Why...?"

"What do you think Heavy and I do while we are working together... and the rest of you are eating?"

"..."

"Wait a minute... wait a... oh."

"Ja."

"HOW ARE STILL ALIVE?! 😭"

Definitely in love with his unofficial soul mate, the Heavy weapons guy.

I'm gonna do parts to this, actually. I'll make a part 2 and a part 3 another day that is even more random. I just need a break cause this is just a little bit lengthy. Ty got reading and sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted 💀. I focused it a lot on the mercs instead of readers' anxiety.

Also, if you don't agree with my medic hcs, lol, fair enough 🥺

#tf2 #team fortress two #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 and reader #tf2 x reader #team fortress two x reader #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #platonic #platonic x reader #platonic tf2 #queer #gay #transgender #lesbian #bisexual #trans medic #gay tf2

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judyprincess · 9 months ago

Text

Too Pink for me- Logan Howlett +18

chapter 05: My soul

Feeling like you're always at the bottom of the conversation, as distant as a footnote in an educational book that nobody pays attention to—how long can you endure that? And then... how much pain can it cause?

_________________________________________

The view of the facilities alongside Logan could be likened to a ride in some dubious safety vehicle at a small summer fair. A whirlwind of emotions that is difficult to process due to the speed at which you're experiencing them. Yet, Rosellina couldn't consider her encounter with the Canadian a failure, as getting along with him, even marginally, felt like a step forward. At least he had the courtesy to show her the attic, despite clearly not wanting to be there.She could easily accept Ororo's words about their troubled relationship: "Logan is just like that."While that might be true, Rosellina wouldn't have bought into the excuse if those perceptive eyes hadn't seen how differently Logan behaved when that red-haired woman appeared. His rocky phrases softened in her presence, as if he wanted to caress her with his words when he spoke to her. From what Rosellina could observe before feeling intrusive, Logan seemed like a different person. Those eyes showed a man drowning in his own longing.

A couple of knocks on the door snapped the Italian out of her trance. How long had she been lost in her thoughts? She realized she had been sitting at the vanity, brushing her hair repeatedly while drifting through memories. Her eyes sparkled as she turned toward the wooden door, eager to see who her visitor was.

"Come in, Rogue."

She set the brush down on the table before standing up to greet her new friend properly.

"Storm was right; you've got almost x-ray vision!"

Rogue wasted no time in joking as she entered Rosellina's room. The playful smile she wore was infectious, and Rosellina couldn't help but catch that energy.

"I don't know if I'd go that far; I can only see every once in a while. I'm still working on controlling it," Rosellina confessed, feeling a bit embarrassed about not fully mastering her powers.

The occasional involuntary glimpses worried her; she feared she might see something she wasn't supposed to.

"Well, I'll need a demonstration later of what you can do. But..."

"You want to know what happened with Logan."

Rogue let out a small laugh at Rosellina's spot-on interruption, caught red-handed.

"You could say that every student in this school has an honors degree in gossiping; you can't blame us," she replied with feigned defensiveness, not feeling the least bit ashamed of wanting to know more. "Some of them even have doctorates."

Rosellina bit her lip lightly. Where did she get such imagination? She couldn't hold back a small laugh at the thought of such a thing.

"Are the teachers included?" the Italian asked curiously, inviting Rogue to sit with her on the bed.

"Hank is the one with the doctorate in that subject."

Rosellina's eyes widened at the idea that Hank might be the example of what the school expected in a new school year. And she had a feeling she and Logan would be the latest topic in those tabloids.

I honestly didn't expect Hank to top the list.

Rosellina thought as she realized how quickly certain events could become the latest episode of a morning soap opera at this school, hungry for fresh drama.

"So? How did it go?" Rogue leaned in closer to Rosellina, who looked at her hands for a moment.

"He openly said he hates me."

"What?"

There was a long silence as Rogue digested the bombshell Rosellina had just dropped. She knew Logan was gruff and had a bad attitude toward anything unfamiliar; she knew that perfectly well. Still, she thought it was just a matter of getting to know this girl a bit better to soften his fiery barrier, but it only seemed to intensify. She clicked her tongue in frustration at not understanding these emotions, though, admittedly, she found Logan's combative attitude somewhat amusing—it was almost childish. But, of course, beyond what she found funny, she knew that Rosellina probably didn't feel the same way.

"Please forgive him, he's... a difficult person," Rogue apologized on Logan's behalf, looking at her with a sympathetic smile. "But I can assure you that he's—"

"I know."

Rogue was taken aback by Rosellina's firm response, cutting her off before she could finish.

"He's a good man," the Italian said, lifting her gaze with a smile that seemed unshakable.Another silence settled in.

"I've seen it..." she murmured softly, almost to herself. Those memories of Logan looking at Jean confirmed what Rogue was trying to defend. "Even when he didn't seem to want to be there, he guided me. Maybe he was forced to, but, well... it wasn't that bad. Honestly, I don't feel attacked by him. He must have his reasons, right?"

She looked at Rogue, seeking approval for what she was confessing.

Rogue remained silent. She didn't want to justify Logan's behavior, but she didn't want to condemn him outright either. At least, not until she could offer some sort of timeline that might help her to know what to say or do. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded, smiling slightly at Rosellina's kindness, how she continued to see the good in Logan even though she had every reason to return his coldness. Yet, she still seemed to hold out a place for him. In that moment, she felt Rosellina's fingers lightly touch the fabric of her gloves. Rogue, caught up in the fear of past traumas, quickly withdrew her hand.

"I'm sorry," Rosellina hurriedly apologized, guilt washing over her for letting her curiosity get the better of her. "I thought they were just a unique accessory of yours."

Rogue forced herself to calm down as she noticed the frightened look in Rosellina's eyes, seeing the innocence and curiosity there. She looked away for a moment, a sad smile curling her lips.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Rose," she assured her without making eye contact. "It would be nice if it was just like you thought, a cute quirk."

The emerald-eyed woman observed her, realizing she had wandered into sensitive territory.

"Why do you wear them?" she asked. Of course, she was prepared to wait as long as necessary for an answer, and she'd respect it if Rogue didn't want to talk about it. "You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, Rogue."

Rogue took a deep breath. Every time she recounted her story, it was like reaffirming the tragic reality her powers carried. She even considered it a curse. Talking about it was an exercise in facing it, trying to live with it over time.

"Every time I touch someone, that person could lose their life."

That confession, laden with pain and sorrow, left Rosellina speechless as she looked at her.

"My powers are based on absorbing the life energy of living beings. In the case of mutants, I take their mutation too. If I touch them briefly, it only lasts for a moment," she explained while staring at her gloved hands as though they were the greatest misfortune she had ever encountered. "But if the contact continues for too long, that person would die, and I'd be left with their powers." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I almost killed Logan once because of it... and I almost killed a boy I liked, just because I wanted something every girl wants—a kiss."

She laughed, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. It made her feel sick to talk about this; the only good things in her life seemed to have been meeting Logan and coming to the mansion.

"I thought that coming here would make me feel better, but sometimes... I just see people with such amazing abilities, who can be close to those they care about, who can touch and feel without fear," she said, as a small tear ran down her cheek.

Rosellina watched her, her heart aching for the deep isolation Rogue was drowning in.

"Don't get me wrong, no one here has ever made me feel bad or like a freak; they've treated me very well, but..." She paused, taking a deep breath to hold back the flood of tears. "That doesn't stop me from feeling alone in this pain, from feeling... like I've been cursed rather than blessed."

Is this what hell looks like among the living?

Those thoughts crossed the Italian's mind.

"People don't need to touch paintings to understand their meaning or appreciate the beauty within them."

Rogue's eyes widened as she looked at Rosellina in surprise. Those words touched something deep inside her.

"The best paintings don't need to prove their interpretation to anyone; that always lies in the eyes of those who view them freely. Beyond the longing within solitude, what people feel towards it, if they truly love and care about it, must go beyond the physical."

Rosellina spoke, her gaze fixed on the floor.

"Those who show true interest will see beyond their desire to touch and will seek joy in what they can see over time, beyond what appears on the surface."

Rosellina lifted her gaze towards her, her eyes showing a rather intense glow.

"Please, don't feel bad for not being able to touch anyone; that will never measure the love people feel for you. Words..." That feeling that her father's letters generated, few words they were, but they filled her heart. "They also have power..." She couldn't feel his warmth, but the way he spoke about her made her feel loved.

"Can touches be irremediably sincere?"

Rogue looked at Rosellina, memories of the situations she had witnessed flooding her mind. Like Logan and Jean, for example—Logan's sincere words always showed what he felt without needing physical contact, while Jean's touches towards Logan seemed to be just that, lacking sincerity, at least in her eyes.

"I don't think that... we need to feel with the body, shouldn't we love the soul, right? Beyond the physical."

Rogue felt herself breaking down while listening to her; she took a deep breath, looking at her. No one had ever sympathized with her about her gift; she always heard that she had to live with it.

"Rosellina, you..." Rogue barely said, because it felt as if Rosellina saw beyond just walking in her shoes. Rogue finally shook her head, looking at her as tears rolled down her face. "I would like to at least..."

Her voice cut off when she felt Rosellina's hands, she lowered her gaze and saw her own hands uncovered. She saw how the Italian's hands held hers, her heart sank yet also filled as if it wanted to burst. Not only was she seeing her bare hands, but she could feel it in a certain way, a kind of warmth, as if Rosellina was trying to replicate the human touch.

How was it possible that she wanted this? She looked into the Italian's eyes, seeing their shine. In that moment, she understood where her ability lay and what she was capable of. Of all the gifts she had known.

"Rosellina..." She barely managed to whisper.

She couldn't remember the last time she saw her bare hands holding someone else's.

"It must be hard... I don't want to see you suffer. It leaves me with a void, let me at least, in our time together, help you see this little illusion..." Rosellina squeezed her hands and looked at her with a small smile.

Rogue remained silent as the tears fell like a waterfall. She looked at Rosellina and then at her hands between hers, that touch, all of it was in her mind, but still, she felt a sensation that gave her life. Rogue closed the distance to give Rosellina a gentle hug.

"Thank you..."

She sobbed against her shoulder before pulling away and drying her tears. She couldn't even stop smiling, laughing awkwardly while still crying.

"You're a good person."

Good person...

Rosellina felt the water running down her cheeks, like rain falling without warning during a completely sunny day. That rain that falls even when the sun is high. Rogue looked surprised at her reaction.

"Rose?"

"I'm glad... to know that." She barely managed to say, her voice trembling as she lowered her head.

Rogue watched her shoulders tremble, her body giving everything not to succumb to the sobs.

"It's... the first time I have a friend. It's the first time I've shared my little routine with someone..." The words came out as tears fell onto her lap. "It's supposed to be normal for everyone... It's... Warm. I like this feeling..."

《Can someone who has lived with nothing from the start, without realizing they needed it, truly long for something?....》

"I've never had anyone, but... I feel like now, I just... want friends." Rosellina looked up at Rogue as tears slipped from her beautiful eyes. "Can we...?"

"What nonsense are you talking about?" Rosellina felt her heart stop at Rogue's sudden seriousness. "Don't hurt my feelings, weren't we already friends from the beginning?"

Rosellina's eyes widened even more in surprise, her pupils trembling with emotion. Her lips quivered slightly at that question, a question that ironically served as an answer to what she was going to ask. Her heart pounded like furious waves crashing against the rocks. She felt like she could barely breathe as she watched Rogue stand up, wiping her tears. She could hardly move, only watching her.

"You need to have your first night sneaking into the kitchen, trying to avoid the others from catching us."

She nodded with a light laugh before looking at her.

"Huh?... Sneak... for food?" Rosellina barely responded, not understanding. The previous excitement had left her unable to form a complete sentence. "We've... already had dinner."

At her confusion, Rogue smiled even more, shaking her head.

"Ice cream, Rosellina, ice cream. Bobby makes a masterpiece when we sneak in at night. It's your turn to experience the thrill."

The Italian watched as her friend grabbed her wrist and pulled her, making her get up from the bed and head straight for the door. It was late at night, they should have been asleep, but there she was, following Rogue with bare feet, wherever she was leading her on a little late-night adventure to the kitchen.

"But... Rogue!"

The cry was swallowed in her voice, and there were still traces of her earlier tears in the dampness of her cheeks, burning red.

"I'll introduce you to the group, they wanted to meet you, let's hope we don't get caught!"

She cut her off before turning around, speaking in whispers and light giggles, looking at her with a smile.

"Come on, Rosi, you'll have fun."

Rosellina didn't even put in an effort to stop the girl from pulling her along. Eventually, she let out a smile, feeling the tears still trying to come out. She felt that electric energy as they ran down the halls, searching for Rogue's group.

That girl, who had never felt these emotions, was now intoxicated by them. So addictive, like giving color to an old painting forgotten in the attic.

________________________________________________________

If we had grown up in the same place, we surely would have been friends.

I think, one way or another, we were destined to be.

Can you see beyond my soul?

I think I can live beyond touch.

Teach me more, my dear Rosa.

Rogue.

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