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#if that's a problem. you can tell me. and not be a bitch about it
billwidoll · 19 hours
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𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧:
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"You don't understand me! I just want you to be a normal boyfriend Rafe!!"
You shout and get up from Rafe's bed, your eyes burning.
"I'm a cool boyfriend! The only problem is that you want to be a bitch!" Rafe says, getting up too and shouting even louder
"No! You're not a cool boyfriend, you're a crazy person who keeps chasing me like he's obsessed with me!!!"
𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨:
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Rafe was on the balcony of his mansion, waiting for you, as you had agreed to meet there. As always, Rafe was impatient with your delay, he paced back and forth until he noticed you getting out of the car in front of his mansion. Rafe give a smile, after finally You have arrived, but he sees you getting out of JJ Maybank's car.
When Rafe sees this, his intestines scream with pain and his heart screams with hate.
When you enter Rafe's mansion, you can already see his frown.
"What was my love?" You ask, dropping your backpack and going to hug him.
"nothing, my goddess, and my father called me... and I have to stop by the company"
Rafe lies, giving a small smile to appear more casual.
"But does it have to be now? What about me?" You ask, pouting and crossing your arms.
"the mansion and my card are all yours, okay? I promise I won't be long" Rafe says, taking the car keys and kissing your cheek.
You were lying in Rafe's room, looking at your cell phone, until you saw very serious news about your friend JJ. He had been a victim of murder. you are completely in shock You were picking things up, to see what had happened and how it happened. But before you can leave, you see Rafe walking into the room.
"already leaving my love?" Rafe asks, stalling you from passing.
"Rafe, you don't know what happened" you say excitedly. When will you try to prolong the matter.
Rafe ends up interrupting you and you get confused.
"and the dirty Pogue comes up? Oh, I know, I killed him" Rafe speaks normally, Sitting on the bed and taking off your shoes
You were perplexed by what your boyfriend was saying
"Rafe....what did you do?" You ask, sitting down cautiously and with tears in your eyes.
Rafe had his back to you and you felt him let out a laugh. You were getting scared
"You know...there are a lot of bastards who want to harm you...and I'm just protecting my wife"
Rafe says, turning around and taking your hands and smoothing them with a smile.
"just tell me what you did" you say, still perplexed and motionless
Rafe rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath.
"remember Jonas heatwee? He slapped you on your ass, so I...I poured gasoline on him and burned him"
Your eyes widen at that confession, and you immediately try to free yourself from Rafe's hand, from his hands, but he was squeezing. And he gave you a cold, dark look.
"There's also Paul McKay, he was your boyfriend, before we were dating, right? I kind of threw him down the stairs, in his house"
Rafe says this, leaving you in tears, Paul was your first boyfriend and you two became friends after the breakup, but unfortunately he died...for Rafe.
"and now it was dirty Pougue's turn" Rafe finishes with a huge smile and you free yourself from his touch.
"You're crazy Rafe.... it shouldn't reach this level"
You speak with eyes full of tears
"You had to thank me! I do everything for you! And sometimes I follow you down the street to your house, to check if you're okay"
Rafe says this as if it were proof of love, but this was proof of madness
"oh my god....I'm dating a sick person..." You shake your head and cry with intense tears
"I'm a Great boyfriend!!! I love you so, so much" Rafe says, taking your face and stroking it.
"You don't understand me! I just want you to be a normal boyfriend Rafe!!"
You shout and get up from Rafe's bed, your eyes burning.
I'm a cool boyfriend! The only problem is that you want to be a bitch!" Rafe says, getting up too and shouting even louder
"No! You're not a cool boyfriend, you're a crazy person who keeps chasing me like he's obsessed with me!!!"
When you shout that, Rafe will slap you in the face
"oh my god, baby...I didn't mean to hurt you..."
Rafe says, approaching you and holding your face, then he gives you several kisses on the cheeks. But you could only cry
"Can you stop obsessing over me?" You talk to him hugging you
"no, of course not. You and my life, I depend on you"
To be continued
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scoonsalicious · 3 days
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4.3 Bucky
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex
Word Count: 432
Previously On...: On your first date, you confessed to Bucky what you knew about his past, and that you don't blame him for any of it.
A/N: Another short part today, friends.
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!\\
After dinner, Bucky had decided to take Major on a walk along the High Line. The night air was warm, unlike the night before, and the walkway was filled with just enough people to feel alive and electric, without feeling overly crowded. 
“Do you want to stop somewhere to get a drink?” he asked her, not wanting the night to end. They  came upon a man playing a saxophone, and stopped for a moment to listen. “I was actually kind of hoping to head home after this,” Major said, resting her cheek on Bucky’s arm. “Oh,” said Bucky, feeling deflated. “Yeah, of course, doll.” Had he done something wrong? 
“Can’t have sex if we’re out getting a drink, can we?” she asked, looking up at him with a seductive smile that sent all the blood rushing straight to his cock.
“Christ, doll.” Bucky put his hands on her hips, turning her so that she was facing him. “I thought you were telling me you were done and you wanted me to drop you off at your place.”
Major slid her hands up along his arms before draping them over his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. “I’ve barely started with you, Sergeant,” she said teasingly, getting up on her tiptoes to kiss him. Bucky felt his knees go weak at the press of her warm, soft lips against his own and took full advantage of the little gasp she let out to send his tongue into her mouth to gently explore. 
His hands held her flush against him, and he knew she could feel the length of his erection pressing into her stomach. He wanted her so badly, it was almost ridiculous. “Doll,” he groaned when Major broke for air, “you’re killing me.”
“Then we better get back to my place so I can resuscitate you with mouth-to-cock,” she offered. Taking his hand, Major turned from him, leading him back toward the way they had come.
They’d only taken a few steps when Bucky pulled her back to him. He had to. “Doll,” he panted as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Major’s neck and was rewarded with a low moan from her mouth, “what if I can’t wait until we get back to your place? What if I have to have you before then?”
“Car?” Major asked, her voice coming out a breathless gasp, and Bucky nearly lost it. With a noise resembling a growl, he picked her up and, tossing her over his shoulder as she let out a squeal of delight, practically raced back to the car.
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
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zweetpea · 3 days
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Interlude: Between storm and forest
“I’m sorry what?” You ask but it’s muffled. Scaramouche ungags you. “I’m sorry what?”
He kisses you and you kiss him back. “Yes! Finally someone who wants to be with me! I’ve been waiting for someone to actually want me! I guess Baizhu and Dvalin do, but I was promised debauchery! Three people interested does not a harem make. I guess Ayaka may count. But I’ve never seen a harem anime with four people.”
“You’re not going to have a harem. I am going to be your husband and with your power I’m going to overthrow the Archons.”
“Yeah! Let’s go! Venti shot me! That bitch has this coming. Zhongli may be hot and he may or may not have two cocks but he still nearly let his people die so he could drink tea. And your mom may have giant tits… actually your mom’s coming around on me. Like she’s a bitch for abandoning you but she is trying to be a better leader.”
“Ugh, you’re loud.” He starts to leave.
“Wait! Don’t you want to ravish me as my husband to be?”
He looks back at you, face as red as a tomato. “What are you saying!?”
“Please?”
“No!”
“Are you self conscious? I can take top if it would be easier for you.”
“Just shut up!!” He screamed and left.
It was about a month since Scaramouche had taken you away from Inazuma. He’s barely touched you in that time. Gave you a few kisses but it never went farther than that and a few cuddles at night. Like sure you guys are traveling but still!
“Scara.” You say one night. Climbing on top of him. “Please.”
His face goes up in flames. “Stop.”
“I have been promised debauchery. I can feel that you want this. Your dick is sprung against my ass. So what is the problem?
we don’t have to do anything tonight but I’d like to know what is going on. A normal thing married couples do is this. Just tell me what’s wrong, I promise I won’t judge.”
“…I… I’ve never… done this before.”
“Do you want to wait?”
“No. It would be harder then because I’ve put it off so much. Doesn’t that bother you though?”
“Do you think that I came out of the womb a non virgin? I had my first time like everyone else. We’ll take it as slow as you want.”
“In that case.” He flips you both over on the bed. “I hope you’re ready to not be able to walk tomorrow. I may have never done this but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing.” He kisses down your neck.
“Okay this is certainly something I didn’t expect. I never knew I needed Dom Virgin Scara in my life.”
“I won’t be a virgin for long darling.”
You squeak. Now it’s your turn to blush like a virgin.
The next morning you can’t feel your legs, your ass is sore, your throat hurts and your mouth tastes salty.
“Can you fuck me like your a virgin every night?” You say when he wakes up.
“I’m spent. Next time I’m binding these grabby hands of yours with my Obi.”
“What does a Star Wars character have to do with how hard you fucked me?”
“What’s Star Wars?”
“Nerd movies. The first three made were decent. The prequels and sequels suck!”
“What’s this?” A voice from the doorway called. You two looked back and saw dottore.
“What a pretty specimen.” He said walking closer to you.
“Stay away!” Scara warns wrapping his arms around you.
Dottore lunges and Scara quickly grabs the electro gnosis and uses it to blast you away.
You clung to the blanket for dear life. And when you awoke, you were surrounded by sand and tan buff men and women.
“Pansexual panic!”
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supercantaloupe · 10 months
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roommate's pissed at me again. yay
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snekdood · 10 months
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bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool
#you sound like every cishet republican man to me#you're not a Cool Subversive Leftist you're literally regressing by seeing animals as just objects of your pleasure and thats it lmao#im sorry but you dont just get to throw out all of veganism. it does infact have some roots in leftism.#you can sit there and cope with the fact you agree w some vegan talking point by calling it 'animal welfare' all you want#doesnt change the fact that a lot of those ideas in those circles were formed by vegans.#damn woooah vegans arent a monolith and dont all agree on the same shit woooahhh who knew#literally i have no idea how we even got to this point or how this would be surprising.#when i was on vegan twitter bitches were arguing all the fucking time within it. ur really gonna sit ther en tell me they're all secret#eco fash that hates native ppl and people who have to eat meat? ya sure???#you would think the individuals on tumblr- of all places- would understand how frustrating it would be to be grouped in with the worst#members of their community as if you represent them and are the sole spokesperson#you'd think they'd hate when someone jumps to conclusions about them based on their lifestyle#but naur. i think yall take it too personally. as if a vegan just being in a room is somehow trying to force you to be vegan.#literally grow tf up.#if a vegan being in the same room with you triggers feelings in you that you Have to stop eating meat- i really think thats a you problem#bud. homeboy hasnt even spoke to you leta lone look at you and apparently you feel this weird pressure now#idk man dont you think that pressure might be coming within?? maybe.... you do infact feel things and feel a lil guilty abt eating meat?#not telling you to stop... i still eat meat here n there. but at least im honest with myself about how it makes me feel to do it.#its infact normal to take a second to think about the loss someone made in exploitation to provide you with whatever.#if you can let yourself feel a lil guilt about buying a fast fashion thing you can sure as fuck finally extend your fuckin empathy to#animals and stop treating them like objects or toys.
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da-proti-toku-grem · 26 days
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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unicornsaures · 2 months
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ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had
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yardsards · 9 months
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therapists will be like "what do you think we could do in here that would help you with these struggles?" like bestie if i knew how to fix my problems i wouldn't be in here rn
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yelenapines · 5 months
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watched tbosas today. needless to say i am obsessed with the red uniform skirt and they should have been wearing those the whole movie. thank you.
#tbosas#much more to say about this movie but thats it for now#actually no lets TALK#they literally changed how the games end which is fine but like how is no one noticing#also um clemensia dropped in got bit and thats it?? bye bye? have fun?#also this annoying bitch in my grade said she hates sejanus in the movie but loves him in the book um please get his name out of your mouth#if you're gonna be speaking filth about my son#ugh#anyways um rachel ate#love how the movie can tell the whole story tho i *am* conflicted about my feelings on how fast paced it was#and then again not seeing his inner monologue is a problem but like it's a movie so idk#also ofc the vibe is different between parts 1 and 2 and part 3 idk why people dont like it i think its cool and like thats the point to se#his evolution#sejanus' death was horrible like i'm sorry the mockingjays reproducing his last cries for help are just.#anyhoo#i will not shut up ok let's keep going#ik that like ppl are simping for tom blyth and as u should tbh same but you COULD NOT CHANGE HIM OR FIX HIM IK ITS A JOKE BUT IT BOTHERS ME#SO MUCH#like ik it's being silly and goofy but it just rubs me the wrong way cause like its not true#also Tigris and Snow's story is so fucking sad kms#also TF WAS THAT MOMENT IN THE ARENA WHERE SEJANUS ALMOST KISSED CORYO WE ALL SAW IT OK#sejanus is not straight at all lmao he spent the whole movie batting eyelashes at coryo but ALSO i love the angst of the marcus x sejanus i#idea i made up#also coriolanus is so fucking goofy like bitch pls “mY oLd SeLf. I kIlLeD hIm To Be WiTh YoU” bestie sit down#ok rant over#yelenaposts#sejanus plinth
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Poor Yuuta 😆
What's he gonna do when someone tells him Todo punched His Boy™️ through a wall
And really, what's with every person ripping of their shirt or being shirtless while fighting Megumi. Sukuna is the worst offender of course, and their's also Todo, even Mahoraga didn't have a shirt. We're obviously excluding Toji.
Also, being offended at a low bounty is so Sukuna 🤣 That entire post was hilarious, especially the tags.
The other second years decide that they need to shield Yuuta from the knowledge that this ever happened because if he did he’d kill todo and then feel bad about killing him and it’s just be enormously inconvenient to maki specifically who would have to hear about it.
They also decide that this is immediately a mission doomed for failure because Inumaki’s a spineless simp who will absolutely spill the beans to his boy (his boy being Yuuta).
So they tell Todo that if he values his life (doubtful—maki has sincere doubts as to its value and feels even todo must know that) he’ll find a border and get over it because Yuuta will break his fucking spine if he finds out someone beat the shit out of Megumi specifically as a way to goad Yuuta himself. Fuck around, find out. Yuuta’s not letting anyone use megumi against him and he’s willing to make an example to ensure future safety.
Sukuna feels the Zenin were on point with the brat’s valuation (if not too generous) but he’s in here too and he’s a fucking gold standard of targets. What the fuck why is the bounty so low. He’s the king of curses and he’s getting the valuation of an idiot high schooler with a crush. There’s no respect nowadays.
Yuuji has to hear a lot about how the price on his head is not good enough for Sukuna.
#sukuna at three am the night before a mission: i am nightmare incarnate they could BANKRUPT themselves to kill me and it would not be enough#what the fuck is wrong with sorcerers these days. brat you want to fix the in-law problem and you let me out on the Zenin compound. ten#minutes. they’ll see who’s worth a mere /800000 yen/. fucking unprofessional is what it is.#yuuji is somewhat tempted he cannot lie#the Zenin stress his boyfriend out a lot okay#he sees how much they can get to him. and also like. he doesn’t know the details. but he can read between the lines enough to know they’ve#hurt him. how bad WOULD it be to let Sukuna raze a few buildings to the ground#yuuji has a very pretty boyfriend who will let him /hold his hand/ and /kiss him/ and legitimately life could not be better were it not for#the active attempts on his life. those. those are a downer.#very pretty boyfriend. who’s smarter than him. can summon dogs at will. literally the gold standard cannot imagine how lucky he is but there#HAS to be a fly in the ointment and it HAS to be his lunatic family#the thing is yuuji overwhelmingly feels murder is wrong EXCEPT when you trigger him in which case he’ll kill you with his bare hands#re: mahito#and like. he’s getting there with the Zenin. he’s getting there.#the issue is that makis a fucking vault and Yuuta this impossibly beautiful and perfect son of a bitch in Africa who they’ve never met so#they can’t interrogate him. and inumaki is. challenging. to interrogate#pandas the fucking weak link tho and nobara and yuuji have figured out that the Zenin did something seriously fucked not too long ago#they don’t want to invade Megumi’s privacy but he’s Their Boy and they’ll cut bitches over him#yuuji shares a wall with megumi and sometimes it’s really obviously he had a bad nightmare he won’t talk about#but he will tell him when it wasn’t about sukuna ripping out Yuuji’s heart so he won’t feel guilty#and eventually yuuji just sort of pieced it together that it was about the Zenin#not to be dramatic but Yuuji and nobara will kill people for megumi#why does OKKOTSU YUUTA get to know about their boy but not YUUJI who’s LITERALLY DATING HIM#panda: well Yuuta was right in the middle of everything what with how he— *horrified silence* I’ve said too much#todos no help because he also thinks Yuuta is an impossibly beautiful and perfect bastard and it does not help yuujis morale#he’s on yuujis side of course#but if there is anyone who COULD come even close to his brother who is the sparkling pinnacle of existence it would be Okkotsu Yuuta#no one can tell if todos in love with Yuuta#like obviously his heart and soul belong to takada but it gets hella gay sometimes when he talks about Yuuta#he doesn’t know what this assless boy has done to bewitch such beautiful men and it torments him
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joansblondells · 2 years
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having thoughts. millions of them. cant stop thinking lately about the GREASE coding of chrissy cunningham and how intentional it all feels… netflix tweeting about sandy as chrissy’s hair inspiration !! the good girl cheerleader of it all !!
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local girl actually on the verge of collapse thinking about eddie as the logical counterpart to chrissy’s sandy… you don’t give an 80s gal those sweet little 50s bangs and a bad boy gone soft to play off without invoking the cinematic spirit of sandy and danny, do not play with me duffer bros !! I am nothing if not cineliterate !!
beyond aesthetics, also cant stop thinking about danny zuko as a vulnerable softie around sandy + the biggest posturing asshole around his friends. translating that over to eddie.. obviously he’s not danny levels of cruel but.. how much of a contrast there is between his big masquerade of a cafeteria performance vs the way he strives to put chrissy at ease and his emotional availability in the woods… bitch hello !!!!
never understand the mad obsession with ensuring things are canon when it comes to ships I mean.. we are quite literally mashing blorbos together and making them kiss for funsies like barbie dolls BUT do feel slightly like I will die on the hill of eddie and chrissy as deliberate allusions to sandy/danny by the show.. if not in a vaguely romantic way then even just in a fun, throwaway visual sense
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begging some gorgeous creatively inclined individuals to gifset / draw / write WHATEVER the hellcheer potential of sandy/danny before I actually keel over.. the prom.. the gym outfits.. the drive in.. the cheerleader bonfire… the possibilities are disgustingly endless. have to stop here before I die. IS THIS ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE ?!?!
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tardis--dreams · 14 days
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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leatherbookmark · 10 months
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my dream portrayal of jgy is that he's an independant character with his own strengths (not lxc's sweet little child-birthing wifey) that get recognition and appreciation (and that aren't 'being a good mommy/rabid event planner, haha, such a control freak this a-yao'), who deserves and gets love (but isn't just a tiny lovely thing whose only purpose is-- do you get my point already i wonder), who's allowed to be in a bad mood (but isn't defined by those moments, which is very important to me personally), but who isn't a cruel or bad person (and whose attempts at explaining his situation to others are taken seriously, and not as just him trying to Manipulate Others As Usual because, and i might be controversial but idqc, if i'm to call a character a gaslighting manipulator i'd like to see cases of him a/ doing it b/ succesfully c/ often, and no, "well he conned lxc into thinking he's not an evil murderous twink, SOMEHOW" doesn't count)
and my problem is that it's, well, as dreams usually are, rather unattainable
#what i mean by 'allowed to be in a bad mood but not defined by them' is that like. i talked about it before but the way the entirety of the#fandom and their moms are convinced modern jgy is sooo cranky when he wakes up and he loooves to bitch and complain and his ^_^ is ALWAYS#AND ONLY a mask hiding murderous rage towards stupid customers. and as an irl misinterpreted character i find this kinda#hurtful because you're not really 'allowed' to do something if this something will get you teased/immediately associated with Being A Perso#Who Does Thing. like the fandom is very bad at recognizing when a character is acting influenced by intense emotions#but like if cql!lxc slaps jgy that doesn't make him a violent person who solves all problems with his fists and is Sooo Scary Haha to be#around haha Don't Piss Him Off. but this happens to jgy a lot in fanfiction and i'm kinda tired of it#give me one (1) fic where jgy can complain about his stupid ass father and his stupid ass job and gets comfort and support#i also don't get people being so into wwx+jgy friendship. like. jgy would be like 'hey please think abt how your behaviour impacts#not only your reputation but also those of your friends and associates' and wwx would be like lmao chill out idc!#and wwx would be like 'wow your life situation sucks you should just tell everyone to kiss your ass and get the fuck out' to which#jgy would be like There Are No Words To Convey How Much I Can't Just Do That and that would be it. idk#anyway. lotsa words when im just being a hater#shrimp thoughts
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lordiavolo · 1 year
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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ilikeyoshi · 3 months
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if i ever go back to wow it'll be to play dragonflight and the announced quel'thalas expansion and then leave again
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glimblshanks · 4 months
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