#if u ACTUALLY read all this?! i owe u my life..

[deeism]

it fascinates me how fundamentally similar dennis' relationship with mac is to his relationship with dee. not necessarily how mac and dee respectively view him, but the ways that he views both of them are so incredibly similar to each other it's kind of insane. it all comes down to dennis needing to be needed and being afraid to relinquish his grip on two people that, at one point or another, have come to terms with the fact that they might be better without him (or at least without him as a centerpoint in their life). there are a lot of examples of this but the one that sticks out to me the most is the direct parallels between FVR & the gang broke dee. for example:

in the gang broke dee, dennis can't stand to see his sister succeeding without him, so he tries to pair her up with a man to settle down with. in his words, this is in order to "take [her] off of our hands forever." his clearer-than-day reason for doing this is less about actually removing dee from his life (however much he pretends to idealise this) and more about keeping her under his control. he's forcing her into a decision that he approves of rather than doing what she wants—thus taking back an independence that dennis tries his best to hold over her head. he insults her attempts at pursuing her dream career—not because he can't stand to see her succeed, but because he can't bear the idea of her succeeding without him. and this is a common theme throughout the show—dee's success is reliant on her joint success with dennis (which is something i have a lot to say about by itself, but that's for another day). her independence inevitably results in ridicule and failure, often because of dennis' manipulation. he tries his best to keep her reliant on him and convinces her she doesn't have anything without him, because he doesn't know what he would do if she realized he's only her brother. this is pretty obvious throughout the show if not explicitly stated—and, formulaically, dennis usually wins whatever mind game they're playing with one another.

but in TGBD, he loses. in his attempts to make her stay he only pushes her away from him further and inevitably ends up groveling at her feet. we don't see this specific sort of desperation from dennis a lot, but when dee is getting on the plane, he genuinely admits that he was wrong and that he loves her. he knows he's about to lose her and he has to compensate for it. it's a rare moment of vulnerability for him.

all that said, when it comes to dennis, it's impossible to extricate the genuine from the manipulative. he's such an untrustworthy person that he's almost manipulating dee without trying to despite the truth in his words. when he tells her "you can succeed, you will be a star" he isn't lying, necessarily, but the rest of his confession says it all: "you have to take me." the unspoken goes: you can succeed, as long as i'm there. you can follow your dreams, but you can't catch them without me. and because he can't just admit to needing her, this is what he resorts to instead. the truth is that dennis needs dee in his life so badly that he would practically have nothing without her, but the most obvious way that this manifests is that he needs to be needed by her. to be relied on, in dennis' understanding, is to be loved.

that was very long and convoluted but unfortunately i'm not done. i feel like dennis' relationship to mac in frank vs. russia is less explicitly spelled out for us than in TGBD, but there are a shit ton of similarities between the two. to begin with, it's pretty well established by like s15-16 that mac's crush on dennis has died down, and in FVR he's actively moved on and is dating other people. dennis should, supposedly, be fine with this, based on how he's previously reacted to mac's romantic advances. he was uncomfortable with mac even touching him for a while, and mac continued to violate that boundary—it would make sense for dennis to be pleased that he's moved on. except that he obviously isn't. when it's finally revealed that dennis is johnny, he says he's only doing it to get mac out of the apartment, but this is an almost embarrassingly seethrough lie because. dude. there are other ways to get your roommate to leave the house than sexually manipulating him via remote controlled anal beads.

johnny is a mask dennis wears in order to keep mac directly in his orbit—to prevent him from moving on and finding love with someone else. dennis may not be ready to address the fact that he has any kind of feelings for mac that aren't anger and hatred—at least, not as himself—but that doesn't stop him from manipulating mac into staying in love with him. not only this, but johnny allows dennis to be vulnerable through text in ways he can't possibly be on the regular; he's afraid to be. we've never seen johnny and mac's texts but there was obviously a level of intimacy there that mac and dennis have never properly shared. through johnny, dennis is able to confront how he feels about mac without actually having to address it as the truth. once again, his manipulation and genuineness are inextricable from each other. it's impossible to tell where the love begins. sound familiar?

that's what it all comes down to. dennis treats the people he loves the most in all of the same ways: he tries to control them. when he has them, he pushes them away, towards other people, but when they actually relent he panics and tries to reel them back in. he idealises a life without them but in reality he'd probably crumble. so he attempts to prevent them from finding other relationships or any viable options apart from staying with him. it's textbook abuse and manipulation, obviously; something being "out of love" doesn't mean that it's good or even justifiable in any way. but it does come from a genuine fear of being rejected by dee and mac—the two people he is actually afraid of losing. dennis is too afraid to treat them with kindness because that would mean opening up his heart and running the risk of getting hurt, but he's afraid to let them go because without them, what does he have? the only option in his mind is cruelty. it's a strange kind of symbiotic relationship, this weird mix of mutualism and parasitism, where clinging on is the only option.

[sundial-girl]

vFlwoer...you know teh ourple one...

ourple...

My favorite song of theirs

ok i'm actually gonna be real i don't listen to that much flower 😭😭😭 SORRY. but the songs i have listened to are good she slays

i think given my blog theme though it's pretty obvious which is my fave flower song

Who I ship them with

OK SEE ITS COMPLICATED FOR HER im so torn 😭😭

ig(??) i do still for the most part think she's sapphic/has a preference for girls, and b/c of a friend my main thing was flowerin. i do like them v much and think abt them, they're cute. BUT a different friend of mine ships fukaflower and that's also really grown on me. BUT b/c of the internet and other mutuals too i've seen pikase and that's cute as hell too. so my mind somehow condensed that into the THREE OF EM (flower, fukase, piko) but i dont even know what tf i'd call that; its not entirely romantic but also not entirely platonic, something is going on and its made infinitely more complicated w/ how they all interact differently depending on what fucking timeline story thing we're in. and again flower & rin is also cute and flower has other cute ships too and AJKSDKJKJKJ 😭

i'll just say tho that the good thing about having several different story things where different things happen is i can do whatever i want and everyone can b happy. the bad thing is i end up overthinking it and also i have a tendency to not give the characters in my stories happy endings

My favorite part about their design

well for one i like how she has so many designs i think its funny lmaoo

v3 and v4 are my faves sooo... i do like the dress & longer hair of v3 actually, i feel its more like, actual flower-like so it fits (and maybe im a bit based b/c that's the design she had when i first vaguely knew abt her). but v4 is iconic, undoubtedly. its the first design that pops into my head when people say flower. i really like how its more ourple since her v3 is more like... black? hksjghkj. i like her striped armwarmer thing its quite funky. solid designs but theyre hard asf to draw imma be real 😭 i can never get them quite right

ALSO i know people dont like ci b/c she doesn't look like flower, but funnily enough i do kinda like that. the sorta uncanny valleyness, b/c u know its supposed to be flower and it vaguely does have some resemblance but its also not and something feels wrong. again though that might just be me b/c of how i twist that for narrative purposes and i have a lot of fun w/ angst shit regarding ciflower but sjkjdhjkshkjhakjhg

A random headcanon I have of them

you know those memes about people cutting/dying their hair after a mental breakdown? yeah that's her 😂😭

i don't think she actually dyes it, it's naturally that peppered white/black color sorta, but she does impulsively do shit to her hair sometimes, not necessarily when she is distressed but she has def done it as "distraction" from negative emotions going on. luckily there's some sorta thing going on that lets her grow her hair back really fast in case she fucks up, so she can test out as many hairstyles as she wants whenever basically. she does think fucked up hairstyles are really funny tho. probably once shaved her entire head just b/c she could

name a vocaloid in my askbox and i'll tell you stuff

[chaosandmarigolds]

you can skip this all u want but

I wanna know abt readers ex ngl

why does Ollie have attachment issues?

you seem like you could do soft angst, 👻

(I audibly giggled like a maniac when I opened this, because angst has my heart. it has my HEART- only when it ends in fluff tho, otherwise someone might as well just shove me in a ditch it feels the same- ahem, sorry, got sidetracked)

Let’s do a lil flashback and backstory to this whole…debacle shall we?

May 20th

“Annnn then we got get- got get, noo-no! Ister Riley no,” Ollie grumbles as he reaches over the block castle he had spent the last twenty minutes building to grab the toy Simon was holding- a tyrannosaurus, or as Ollie called him- The Superman. The little boy fixes the doll cape attached to the toy and then holds it back out, “Otay, is fix.”

Simon nods, “Good good, he needs to have his-his-“

“The cape gives him powers.”

“Oh!” Simon agrees and looks at the worn out toy, the cape like it would be found on an actual Superman toy but put on a dinosaur. He only looks back to Ollie as the boy goes on about grabbing the rest of the toys he thought they should have.

“Yeah, that what my daddy tell me. That-that my superhero cape make me have superpowers.” A short silence and he sets the toy fire truck down along with a tow truck, “It no give me power, but it does for Bo though.”

(Bo, the name of the T-Rex.)

Simon looks at the boy, watching his demeanor change and he holds how the toy, “‘ell your dad was right, Bo does have some super cool powers.”

To that Ollie takes the toy and then shrugs, “I guess. But my dad- he-he lies and you say lying is not good.”

“Ladd I’m sure your dad didn’t lie,” Simon returned, it was just a toy, and he couldn’t see the harm in letting a three year old believe in superpowers for his plastic T-Rex.

Ollie shakes his head, “But he do! He said he come back for-for my birthday and no come, he didn’t-he lie.”

“Oi, Olls, ‘m sure your dad wanted to come, he just couldn’t-

“My mom doesn’t like him anymore, I heard her talk to my Auntie Beth and she said my dad is lair and mean- so that mean he not good.”

Simon, upon a lot of other things, realized that little kids really did share anything that came to their mind. and that he should definitely do some more research.

July 2nd

“It is-“ you laugh out a sigh as you stumble into the entrance of Simon’s house, having left your umbrella outside, “Raining cats and dogs out there!”

Almost as it had fallen into some odd and domestic pattern, he helped you take off the coat and hang it off without much speaking and you then look to him as you take off your boots, “Thank you for watching him later, I didn’t know I would be working a double and it-“

“No problem, darling. Lil’ guy was out by seven.” He cut you off and hung up the coat beside Ollie’s on the rack, which hung beside his own, “You go’ dinner al’eady?”

You hum and stand back up, “Are you offering?”

“Aren’t I always?”

Dinner was a delicacy of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and oven cooked fries, matched with a hearty portion of sprite. And about an hour of what you would consider you yapping about your crappy day, and what he would consider it favorite part of the day- you finally faltered, leaning on the dinner table with a dull and lifeless laugh.

“I feel like…I owe you, god, I owe you my life or something.”

He furrows his eyebrows to that, “No’ why? ‘M no doing anything special.”

You give him a look, “Free babysitting for one. Not to mention the rides, you-you pay for him to go to soccer, and you go to the games and you buy him clothes and you love him and you care for him and-“ you cut yourself off and look up to stop the tears- which were threatening to flow, shaking your head, “I’m sorry. I’m…it’s just- no, it’s just been a day.”

Now, Simon was many things, a merciless killer and a solider was one of them but he always knew how to read body language. What really gave it away was how you messed with your ring finger, as if you were twisting a nonexistent ring, “What’s today?”

A glance up to him and you give a dull laugh, almost mocking yourself with your words, “I got married five years ago today. Wore the pretty dress and said ‘I do’ to a man that was a piece of shit but damn….i loved him. I did. I loved him so- and I’m, god, Simon you gotta tell me to shut up sometimes.”

He looks at you, and he knew you couldn’t read him, but there was sadness etched in his expression, “I never want you to shut up, luv.”

( That’s all the backstory you get for right now! Aka, I am doing this on my phone and my thumbs hurt…and all I’ve thought of rn- comments, feedback, and your ideas make my day!! Annnnyway that’s it! <33)

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Anyone that has breast tissue knows that shit can HURT . Like, o-u-c-h. And our darling Mikey from TR seem to like to push that envelope a little passed where it should have stopped. Listening to THIS playlist right now but got so hooked on #4 that I'm already tired of hearing it.

C/W ::: Rude bf, boob stuff (play, teasing, mean and not mean, sucking, licking, flicking, pulling - whatever I come up with along the way but that's the gist of it).

WC ::: 2,169 (actual body of fun reading part)

* Gets an unmistakable smirk on his face when you wince and retreat from his touch because he knows for the next week or so, your tits are going to be at their most sensitive. And he can't wait.

* Lays low for a while (hours, not days - because he doesn't want you to think he's up to something, even though he most definitely is.)

* Will hug you from behind and cross his arms over your chest and pull you close.

* Doesn't let go right away when you say "Ow, loosen your grip, my tits hurt."

* Turns you around and presses himself right against the front of your body and buries his nose in your neck, kissing you sweetly and softly.

* Absolutely comes off like he cares and like he feels genuinely bad for you but this is too good an opportunity to pass up.

* He'll pull you into the bathroom and turn the hot water on, making it a little hotter than you usually like it and tells you to trust him.

* You give him the side-eye because what the actual fuck is he up to right now. (You already know because he doesn't let a month pass since this started with him where he doesn't give your aching tits the attention he 100% believes they deserve.) But you go along with it because a hot shower would feel really good right now and neither of you have anywhere else to be - for once - so you play along.

* He undresses you like you're a porcelain doll that is about to shatter if he moves too quickly (don't worry, he'll start moving faster.)

* With each new square inch of skin that he uncovers he lays down the most breathtaking kisses. You can't help but melt under his touch.

* Once he's got you nice and pliable beneath him naked, he will take your hand and look you in the eyes like he still can't believe you're with him.

* He takes you into the shower and turns the water to a light spray (because oh my fuck, those harder sprays can KILL).

* Runs his hands over your body, not paying any attention to your breasts and nipples just yet, he's getting you needy and wanting his touch elsewhere (you both know how much you fold when he's playing with your tits in his special "Mikey way."

* He'll start at your shoulders, rubbing deep circles into the muscle with his strong thumbs.

* His dick starts to twitch to life when you let that first sigh/moan out.

* Knows he's on the right track as soon as your head falls forward/backward - that all depends on where he's standing.

* Asks you if that feels good - knows fuckin' well it does feel good, he just likes to hear you say it.

* Works his way down, kneading your lower back and buttocks - making sure to give them a cute little smack every now and again.

* Finally, he'll come back up and stand behind you, his chest pressed up against your back, his cock rubbing between your cheeks (but not in a "let me fuck you" kinda way - more in a "I wanna make you feel so good you won't be able to handle it" kinda way.)

* He'll snake his hands down to your waist and bring his arms around to your belly and slide them up to cup your tits - one in each hand, of course.

* You'll tense up for a second as he starts to massage your breasts.

* He'll ask you to relax and just enjoy the sensation, and that it's all for your pleasure.

* You'll lean back against him, letting him take your weight and he'll start to move his hands up and down, side to side, making sure to hit every inch of your chest.

* He'll tell you how he loves your tits - loves the way they feel in his hands, how they fill up his palms and then some.

* He'll let his thumbs brush over your nipples, slowly, gently at first.

* You'll shiver against him and he'll know he's onto something good here.

* He'll start to work your nipples over more - circling, pinching, flicking, and pulling - all still very gently ... for the time being.

* He is always on the right track, though. It's fucking Mikey. He knows more than he lets on sometimes.

* Will start to ask you how you're feeling - knows the answer but, again, wants to hear you whisper it to him.

* When you say it - whatever "it" is - he will turn you around and drop to his knees.

* His eyes will be dark and full of lust, but his touch will still be gentle - he knows you're already on edge and he doesn't wanna push too far/too fast/too much.

* First you'll feel his breath against your skin and it only escalates from there.

* He'll kiss your nipples, barely grazing them with his tongue.

* Then he'll latch on and suck, hard.

* Your legs will start to shake and you'll wonder why you didn't just let him do this to you when you had your period when you two first got together.

* He'll remind you, "There is pleasure to be had in pain, sometimes. It's all about context, mamas."

* Waits patiently for you to roll your hips forward because he is the king of calling you the right name at the right time - also, made a mental note that you like to be called "mamas" ONLY when you're ovulating/on your period. Something about the way he says it all breathy like against your ear or your neck or your pussy. The man could start his own religion and you're sure many would follow it to a T.

* He'll keep sucking and licking and biting at your tits until you're squirming against him, desperate for some attention elsewhere.

* He'll reach down and slide a hand between your thighs and start to ghost his fingers over your clit in slow circles.

* You'll buck against his hand and he'll let out a low groan.

* He'll pull back just enough to look at your face as he traces 8's over your, now really, wet hole.

* Asks you if you want him to put his fingers inside you.

* You'll nod and beg him to - you can't help it.

* He'll push two fingers into your cunt and curl them upward, hitting your g-spot just right.

* You'll moan so loud that you're sure the neighbors will be able to hear you. (Neither of you care what they hear, though. If they don't want to hear that shit then they shouldn't be listening.)

* He'll start to fuck you with his fingers, slow at first - and then faster and deeper, his thumb pressed against your clit.

* You'll wrap your arms around his neck and he'll hold you close as you come undone around his fingers.

* When you start to come down, he'll give you a minute to breathe before he gets down on his knees in front of you again.

* He'll spread your legs and bury his face between your thighs, licking and sucking at your clit while you thread your fingers through his wet, blond hair.

* He'll suck and slurp and moan against you, sending vibrations straight to your core.

* He'll push you back against the shower wall and keep going until you're cumming on his tongue, calling out his name and telling him to "never stop, never stop, never stop."

* You'll regret your choice of words because he WON'T STOP and you will have to literally push him away because you're too sensitive and you know he could make you cum a million times before the sun comes up.

* He'll give you that smug look that you can't help but love and he laughs and pulls you in for a hug.

* After you've both caught your breath, he'll wash your hair, his hair and both of your bodies.

* He still looks at you like a starved animal. His eyes are as dark as they were when he first got you in there and there's something so primal about how his muscles move beneath his skin. It makes you want to fuck him.

* And yeah, he knows. He sees you looking at his back when he reaches for the towel on the rack. You're so oblivious right now to things that otherwise make perfect sense that you forget he can see you in the mirror.

* You get out and dry off and he wraps you up in your robe and asks if you want him to rub some cocoa butter on your nipples for you.

* You nod and he grabs some from the cabinet and tells you to go lay back on the bed.

* He'll straddle your waist and scoop some out until he has a generous amount on his hands.

* He'll warm it up in his palms and then start to gently massage it into your breasts, taking his time and making sure he gets every inch of skin.

* He'll look at you like he's waiting for you to say something, but you won't - not yet. You know he's working up to something.

* He'll finally ask if you feel better and you nod.

* He'll smirk and lean down and start to kiss your nipples, one at a time, slowly.

* You'll ask him what he's doing and he'll just smile and continue kissing and sucking your nipples.

* He'll suck hard and bite gently, then pull back and blow on them.

* Your pussy will start to get wet (again) and your hips have a mind of their own (again) and he'll know he's doing something right (again.)

* He'll crawl around your body until he's positioned just right and start to kiss your neck, your collarbone, your chest, your stomach, and your thighs.

* He'll push your legs apart and tell you to keep your eyes on him.

* He'll get back down on his knees and push your legs further apart and start to lick your pussy from top to bottom.

* He'll bury his tongue in your folds and suck at your clit until you're begging him to stop.

* He'll push two fingers inside you and start to pump them in and out of you as he sucks your clit.

* You'll buck against his hand and cum on his fingers, crying out his name - repeatedly.

* He'll give you a minute to catch your breath before he starts to line his leaking cock up with your entrance.

* He'll ask you if you want him to fuck you and you'll nod yes, pleading with your eyes for him to fill you up.

* And he'll tell you that's not sufficient, that he wants you to tell him how badly you want his cock.

* "Wanna hear the words, mamas." He leans down and kisses your neck until you're practically crying from being so turned on. "Gonna give that pretty pussy a high-five with my cock, don' leave me hangin', love."

* You have no idea how you're completely and utterly enchanted by him, but you oblige and turn your head so your mouth is against his ear, "Mi-key, wan' you n'side uh'me, pl-please ..."

* He gets that cocky look on his face because he got you to do exactly what he wanted and he'll push into your pussy - slowly - inch by inch, until he's balls deep inside you.

* The way he moves should be criminal. Like, he hits you right every time - your clit, your whole pussy is so happy.

* He fucks you hard and deep and slow - then fast and shallow - then hard and deep again.

* He'll change positions at least five times, all while fucking you like he's never going to get another chance.

* You'll cum again before he even starts to get close, but he's not done with you yet.

* He'll pull out and turn you around, bending you over the bed and pushing into you from behind.

* He'll reach around and play with your tits while he pounds into you - telling you how much he loves the way they - and all of you - bounce and jiggle against his touch.

* He'll start to rub your clit again and you'll cum around him, hard and surprisingly drawn out.

* He'll keep fucking you from behind until he cums, filling you up and saying your name.

* He'll pull out and collapse on the bed next to you.

* You'll lay there and catch your breath, wondering why you didn't let him play with your tits from the get-go.

* He'll wrap his arms around you and pull you close.

* Asks you if you feel better now.

* You'll say yes and thank him.

* He'll kiss you softly and tell you that he loves you and he knows you love him too.

* You'll smack him in the arm and laugh. "Oh, so you think you can just get whatever you want because I love you? Is that it?"

* He'll shrug and tell you that he's just that good.

* And you can't deny that he is. So you'll snuggle up together and fall asleep with your tits pressed against his chest.

@katshimizuu @kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel

[spacesapphi]

HES Trio Headcanons (the third)

That's right guys, another one (my brain is rotted). These three live in my head rent free

some the Shane ones are sad again, sorry

Elliott

-had a pet hermit crab as a kid, he's always been a friend of the crabs!

- prefers fancy, decorative candles to scented ones. The prettier the better!

- trying his best to make his room look like Howls from Howls Moving Castle. That clutter of beautiful trinkets is exactly what he wants for a setup

- loves wearing his hair in braids, but is terrible at doing braids on himself. He usually asks Leah

- Willy is like a father to him. His bio father was not a kind man, and Willy is everything he wished his father could be and more

- Willy taught him how to fish too, and he's actually pretty good at it!

- very into a "method acting" style of writing, as in he'll live like a character he's trying to write for a while until he feels like he can realistically interpret them in his writing

- faked a British accent for about a month in middle school because he thought it sounded very sophisticated and artsy

Harvey

- won't tell anyone, but he enjoys little Saturday morning cartoons now and then. It reminds him of the moments of joy he felt when he was little and he cherishes that

- tried to shave off his mustache once and seeing how he looked without it scared him so bad he vowed not to do it again. It looks so bad 😭💔

- wears that Ebenezer scrooge lookin nightgown and cap unironically, swears that it helps him sleep better

- lactose intolerant and has a gluten allergy. He doesn't like cheese and baked goods because of it, they make him really sick

- that being said, if u made/bought him gluten free stuff he would act like he owes his life to you

- once he was at the library at the same time Penny was tutoring the kids. It was during free reading time and Vincent told him he looked like a character in the book he was reading. It was Geronimo Stilton. Harvey has still not recovered from that

- really wanted siblings as a little kid but never had them, so he created an imaginary friend for himself and pretended to go on aviation missions with them

- has a lil gap between his front teeth, he gets a bit shy about it, but it's cute when he smiles and you can see it

Shane

- I changed my height headcanon, bro is 5'3 now

- his ENTIRE family is very short, his mom and Marnie are 5'0. Jas' parents were tall though so once she's older she's absolutely towering over Marnie and Shane

- had very long hair before taking in Jas. For many reasons, especially maintenance, he's kept it short since adopting her

- Him stealing food from Joja is a habit built from necessity, from the time before he moved back in with Marnie. He got to the point financially that he was often stealing food for him and Jas, because he was often forced to choose between groceries and paying rent.

- he's not a vegetarian, but he refuses to eat chicken specifically. Everytime he tries, he just can't bring himself to do it. He loves chickens too much

- even then, he still ate very little. Stealing was risky and he wanted to make sure Jas was given what she needed first. He always had her eat first, and would eat whatever she didn't, like crusts or veggies she didn't like. The night he moved back in with Marnie was the first time he had an actual meal in about a year

- After he starts recovery, he tries to be better friends with Penny given that she's Jas' teacher. She isn't very interested in being close with him, but he still tries to be friendly

- has an arsenal of dad jokes at the ready at any given moment, you are not prepared for how corny this man gets

- forever salty that LEWIS of all people is beating him on the junimo kart leaderboards

- He and Sam have a workplace besties kinda relationship. They still stay pretty good friends after Joja closes, Shane goes to all of his bands shows to show support

- the only festivals he really cares about are the egg festival, luau and Stardew valley fair. The rest he'll go to because it makes Jas and Marnie happy, but those three he has a passion for

[yayll]

Could you maybe write smth up. About literally spoiling Dazai. Because i want to sit him down on the couch and kiss his pretty fucking face and buy him everything he even glances at.!! Hold his hand on walks, take him to like roooftops to stargaze and stuff and just stare at his PRETTY AHH FACE instead. Kiss his forehead goodnight!!! Cook him stuff and cuddle him and kiss him (again)!!!!....

Im lonely and past the point of no return sorry shdkhdkfjf

HIIII there, angel! i'm so sorry this took me a bit, but umm... i kind of went insane with this concept i read your ask and i immediately just blacked out because oh do i feel the same way about this god forsaken man.. and HEAVY on the spoiling. ahh, i hope it's to your liking, and i hope it makes u feel less lonely :') it was such a pleasure to write my first request xx

~ a little something about cherishing Dazai on days he needs it the most ~

Spoiling Dazai. Now there's something you can proudly admit to being happily guilty of. You couldn't count the times you've held him for hours after a terrible day at work, or made sure he had more than just canned crab and a few bottles of Sake. You'd do anything for him to be comfortable in his own skin, and you want to make sure he knows how much you adore him... that he knows he's allowed to take up space in the world too. You're also aware that he would rather die than to ever elaborate on the vague and dismissive little comments he makes about the debilitating weight of all of his past mistakes, the ones that make him resentful and tired when it really gets to him, but that never deters you.

You've put the pieces together long enough to understand that it's not easy being Osamu Dazai, no matter what silly mask he puts on for the world. He hasn't always been a good person, an exemplary man, and you're more than well aware of that. Still, he doesn't have to be the jester who's always entertaining the masses at his own expense.

You remind him that he isn't cursed forever, that he IS worthy of flesh and blood, and when you kiss him it's like you're absolving him of all sins... you make him new again. He is utterly bewitched by you and you feel it in the way he comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder, squeezing your waist just enough to let you know your warmth is the reason his own blood circulates. Or when he whispers the most silliest and unhinged things in your ear late at night so you'll curl up those precious lips into a smile... Just for him. He gets off on the happiness he gives you, simple as that. He already feels he doesn't deserve to hold on to such a good life, but he's nothing if not defiant, and he'll squeeze out every little bit of love within that void of a heart for as long as you'll have him.

But... Today is your turn to love him so much it actually hurts, It's what he gets for being a menace 24/7! That is why you chose to make sure he has an extra special day today, by bringing him out of his comfort zone with a... mystery date!

"Oh? And to what do I owe the pleasure of being courted by such a beautiful creature such as yourself on this fine day?"

Dazai sips on his tea, eyes narrowing as they peer at you from the teacup curiously. You flash him a cheeky grin, already plotting your mission to make him so flustered he can't even look at you later.

"I thought we could go out somewhere and spend some time outside... Since we've both been so busy lately. Wouldn't that be nice?"

He raises a brow, and gives you a knowing smile back. Dazai's freakishly omnipotent in that way, and it's one of the many reasons you can never truly know if your surprises land or not.

"Mmm, it could be. Where to, my love?"

"... It's a secret."

He then pretends something has hit his chest, and he grips it, dramatically throwing himself back onto the chair causing his tea to flop about in the teacup.

"Oh my, is today the day you finally take me out and end it all?! I don't know if I can take the deceit, the absolute betrayal... What an occasion-"

You cut him off with your index finger as you place it right on his lips, zipped tight and his eyes burn into you, waiting for your next words. He eats this shit up.

"Shush! Let's go."

And with that, you grab your coats and zoom out and into the day. It's one of those days where It's cloudy, but the sun still peaks out just enough to send down warm rays of light. As you walk hand in hand, you see the way those very rays hit Dazai's side profile in the most devastating way.

You want to take a photo but you don't want to ruin the moment, so you quickly tip toe and peck him on the cheek, causing him to abruptly stop in his tracks. He blinks for a few seconds, still facing forward, and you swear you can see the highs of his cheeks turn red. You end up tugging him to follow you to the park, smiling to yourself in triumph as he recovers.

You walk to a quiet part, and plop yourselves down next to each other on the soft grass. Still holding hands, you rub your thumb in circles over his bandaged fingers, silently looking up at the cloudy sky. Finally, Dazai is the one to break the silence.

"Love used to always be an empty four letter word to me, but you..."

He pauses for a moment, swallowing hard as he tries to feign composure.

"... You are, by far, my greatest love, and my most beloved weakness altogether."

You were supposed to be the one to sweep him off his feet today, now your vision is blurry and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. You slowly sit up, and look down at him, noticing that his eyes are closed. He looks like a sleeping beauty. Your chest aches, and you wonder if this is the same type of ache he lives with on the daily. You murmur, studying the way his messy bangs frame his face, and his expression unreadable.

"That's not fair, Osamu..."

"You sound so pretty when you say it like that... Osamu."

You swallow hard, and curse him in your mind for being the man that he is. For being all you've ever yearned for. You look down at your watch, and check the time, heart beating wildly.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

"... It's fifteen till 5."

"Mm, why does that matter?" Dazai purrs as he squeezes your hand, eyes still closed.

"It always matters. Any time with you matters. You matter, Osamu."

You spend the rest of the evening nuzzled into one another, whispering secrets and trying to name constellations and giggling when you can't figure them out. He lets you kiss him silly, his eyes closed the entire time while you also toy with his hair and the nape of his neck; where you smooth over the soft fabric of his bandages and his skin, giving him goosebumps. Your touch is a sensory heaven. He's dreaming of you while awake. You'll always wake him up from the nightmares, from what cannot be undone.

When it gets too cold to stay out, you head back home and cook him whatever he asks for as he rests his chin on his palm, gazing at you with those unreadable dark eyes... always thinking too much. Always somewhere else. This time, however, you could tell he was present. He would eat sewage if you poured it for him with that loving manner of yours. You finally crawl into bed together, and Dazai cradles your face in between his hands, facing you. He mumbles, so soft.. so tender. It's a tone only you get to hear.

"It really is selfish of me to think I can have this and more."

"Desire isn't bad, Osamu."

"Mm, no, I suppose not. But it's not always wise to have desire, not for someone like me. I can't afford that."

You hear the genuine ache in his voice, and you lean in to kiss his forehead, a gentle kiss that stays planted for a few seconds before you pull back.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing, love?~" He whispers, his voice a little strained as he looks at you with those eyes, those beautiful and endless orbs of cosmic proportions that are going to consume you one day. Hopefully.

"I think so. I'm being selfish."

You smile faintly, and you proceed to make sure that you end the night the way he deserves, the way you wanted to spoil him.

[transmascissues]

holy crap dude, i only sent that anon because this blog is called “transmascissues” and “parents reacting way too personally” is not a transmasc issue, it’s a trans issue. “moms react with crying” and dads react with violence? what is your point? do you REALLY think that the difference in experience between transmascs and transfems are THAT different??? why do the details matter when the reasoning is the same? i am a trans man and i know exactly what you’re talking about. i just think it’s weird that you are basically saying trans guys have it worse. you’re literally ONLY focused on your own experiences and u assume youre the only one who’s gone through something like that?

jesus fucking christ…

alright, let’s do this fast so i can go back to living my life.

if you think this is about something as simple and general as “parents reacting way too personally,” you clearly don’t understand exactly what i’m talking about, even if you are a trans man. maybe if you actually read what i’m saying instead of just looking for anything in it that you can get mad at, you’d have a better understanding of what i’m referring to.

“why do the details matter” so you do understand that the details are different and you just think we shouldn’t be allowed to talk about them? that’s…somehow even worse, honestly. do you really think the way transphobia is enacted makes no difference if the intent is the same? do you really think trans people should never want to express their specific experiences and find people who relate? do you think the details don’t change the emotional experience for the person being targeted at all? do you think victims of transphobia shouldn’t be allowed to seek out people who were victimized in the same specific way and who understand that emotional experience? the details absolutely matter.

where did i say this being different from what transfems typically experience means we have it worse? i’ll give you a hint: the answer is nowhere. i didn’t say that. i have never once said on this blog that anyone has it worse than anyone else because i think that’s a ridiculous way to talk about basically any issue.

god forbid i talk about my own experiences. god forbid i make posts about the things being directed to me in my own home by my own family. god forbid i have a real life and real emotions and exist as a real person not just a robot that spits out impersonal theory. i’m talking about my experiences because they’re the ones i live with every day. you might be able to come on here and get mad at me and then go about your day, but when i log off i’m just going back to the exact transphobia i described, so yeah, i’m focused on it. fucking sue me.

if you send me anything else you owe me $50 per second i waste on reading it because this is getting exhausting and you obviously have no interest in actually listening to me.

[wttcsms]

“she fell first, but he fell harder” with any inarizaki boy of your liking please! 🩵 have a good day~

pairing rintarou suna x f!reader word count 2.6k content contains mutual pining, tutor!au, right person/wrong time, bittersweet ending, unrequited love, slight angst author’s notes maybe not what u anticipated hehe

i.

You don’t look up from your book even though the slamming of a bookbag on top of the table obnoxiously announces the arrival of another student, one who’s obviously going to take the seat next to yours. 

“Hey—” So it’s a boy then.

“—can I ask you for a favor?” 

Now you look up, partially annoyed that he’s interrupted you while you were in the middle of reading a particularly interesting paragraph, but more curious than not. You tilt your head, taking him in. Of course, you know Rintarou Suna — it’s hard for any student in the school not to know him. But just because you’re aware of his existence — and if you dare to allow yourself to be bold enough, you think he’s aware of your own — doesn’t exactly make the two of you chummy enough to ask each other for favors on a Tuesday morning. 

You must have a bad poker face because he raises both hands in mock surrender. “Look, just hear me out. I need to pass this English class or my coach and captain won’t sign off on allowing me to play in the next few matches. I’ve seen the rankings; you’re top of our class. You know this shit a lot better than I do.” 

A beat passes. 

Two startling and equally scary revelations:

Now that you’re finally seeing him up close, Suna’s eyes are a much lighter shade than you thought they were. (Not that you’ve given his eyes much thought up until now, anyway.) It suits him. And,

Suna is absolutely aware of your existence.

“I’ll owe you one.” He says, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He’s playing at being nonchalant, but you can see it in those lighter-than-you-thought eyes of his that he’s practically pleading with you. 

“I want you to convince Atsumu Miya to do an interview for the school paper.” You finally say. 

Raised eyebrows is the closest thing you’ll get to seeing emotion on his face, you think. “Done.” And then, “Why Atsumu?”

“He’s not an easy person to get a hold of, but I know being the first person to ever interview him will probably mean something in the future.” 

He nods, taking it in. “So it’s not because you’ve got a crush on him?” 

You can’t tell if he’s teasing you or not; his voice and facial expression give nothing away. Shifting a bit in your seat, you frown. “No. His bad dye job makes him an eyesore.” 

The corners of Suna’s mouth curve up at that. 

ii. 

“I didn’t know you wrote for the school paper,” Suna says. 

“I’m the president of the club.” You push a paper covered in red pen marks, all of them corrections and criticisms against him. “Suna, we’ve been going at this for almost two weeks now. How have you barely improved?” 

“Maybe you’re just not a good tutor.” You can read him well enough to know that he’s only joking. “You wanna be a journalist or somethin’?”

“Don’t try to change the subject. At least pretend to look over your paper.” Sighing because you know he won’t actually do anything unless you appease him, you shrug. “I want to be a sports reporter.”

“So that’s why you were so excited to meet with Atsumu!” You don’t expect him to actually be invested in your life, but you excuse his exclamation as him being bored out of his mind and savoring any distraction he can get. 

The idea of being just a pleasant distraction from the pain of schoolwork makes you feel weird. 

iii. 

As you near the two-month mark since your tutoring sessions began, you make progress with Suna. He’s funnier than you realize, both of you sharing the same dry sense of humor that has jokes that can only properly be delivered if you say it with a straight face. He’s shown you about 200 of the images and videos cluttering his camera roll, and you pretend there’s no intimacy in that. His grades in English have substantially gotten better, to the point where you’re certain one day he’s going to decide that he doesn’t need tutoring anymore. 

(For some reason, that makes you kind of sad.) 

For now, you’re content to just be sitting next to him, both of you silently working on your assignments. He’s rewriting his essay due tomorrow (he’s a bit of a procrastinator, really) and you on your latest article for the school paper. The silence in the library — the silence wrapping the two of you together — is surprisingly comfortable. 

Sometimes, Suna can’t make it to the tutoring sessions, and you pretend that it doesn’t matter. You just shrug and smile and move on. After the third time he does, he confesses that it’s because he’s seeing someone. 

We’re just talking, he tells you. But you know that he must really like her because Suna doesn’t usually waste his breath talking about things he doesn’t care to talk about. He’s the one who brought her up completely unprompted. You actually would have been more than okay with remaining completely oblivious to whoever Suna decides to enter the talking stage with. 

He yawns, stretching his arms while he does so.

It should be illegal, you decide, for someone so out of reach to still be so close to you. If you shifted your body back against your chair, nothing would stop the inevitability of his outstretched fingers brushing against your hair. The thought of that happening makes you far more excited than it should. 

(He never tells you when they stop talking, but you know when they do because somewhere in between all these tutoring sessions, you started to learn him.) 

iv. 

“You really think I’m just messin’ around?” He’s got his elbow resting on the library table, cheek and chin laying against the open palm of his hand. When Suna smiles, it’s a little crooked, almost like a smirk, yet warm enough to cause heat to rise to your cheeks, especially when he’s smiling and staring at you like that, like you’re the one person he actually wants to see. 

“You’re always messing around,” You point out. 

“I wouldn’t joke about this.” There’s that familiar pleading look in his eyes that contains enough superhuman strength to pound away at your steely resolve. It’s the same look he gave you all those months ago when you two were nothing more than classmates exchanging favors. It’s the same damn look that got you caught up in all sorts of messes: rearranging your schedule to tutor him, suddenly spending more time making sure you look good for school, rejecting the other guy who first asked you the same question Suna’s asking now… 

“I’m serious. Please go to the dance with me.”

“You didn’t even give me chocolate or flowers.” You manage to say, trying to ignore the pleased sensation that overtakes your body. It’s a different reaction from what you felt when your other classmate asked, and he at least had the decency to bring you your favorite drink from the vending machine when he did it. “This doesn’t seem like a very serious request.” 

He snorts. “Would you have even wanted me to show up to homeroom with a poster and a bouquet and the twins serenading you as I asked you to a school dance?” 

He knows you well enough that an extravagant proposal like that would have you wanting to run into the nearest bathroom stall and lock yourself in there until school ended. The fact that he knows you would hate anything remotely close to that, less dramatic or not, makes you agree to go with him.

(Perhaps he’s spent these tutoring sessions learning you, as well.)

v.

“Hey!” 

You turn around at the sound of a familiar voice, smiling when he comes into view. Donned in the same oversized gown, graduation cap hanging from one hand, Rintarou Suna is smiling back at you. 

“Knew you would graduate top of our class. Congratulations.” 

“And you were ranked within the top twenty. Being a volleyball star just wasn’t enough for you, huh?” 

It feels good to be out here, freshly graduated and knowing the rest of the world is out there, just beyond the boundaries of your high school. The heat is getting the best of everyone wearing the thick graduation gowns, but instead of looking like a sweaty mess like the rest of you mere mortals, Rintarou just seems to shine, as if he’s made for summer. His hair sticks up, probably an effect of being stuffed in the cap for so long, and you find yourself pressing down on his hair. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to help him tame his cowlick, and the action is so familiar, that it doesn’t even catch him off guard.  

“My tutor carried.” He says, grinning at you. 

(You feel considerably warmer now, and it’s not because of the sun.)

The laugh you give him makes his grin only grow wider. You sound equal parts pleased and surprised, just like how you always do whenever he decides to randomly compliment you. Is it bad that he wants to make you laugh like this for the rest of his life? 

Before he can make a proper quip, one that will surely have you laughing even harder, someone is gently tugging you away from him. 

“Hey, babe, my parents wanted to get pictures of us together.” And then, as if realizing Suna’s right there even though he’s tall enough to be hard to miss and close enough to tug you back towards him, the boy stares at him. “Oh, hey. Suna, right?” 

Everyone here pretends as if it’s not already obvious that you all know each other. 

“Congrats on nationals, man.” 

“Thanks.” Suna says, without sounding the least bit thankful, even though he should be. He thought the two of you broke up already, and he’s been preparing for how he’s going to confess his feelings for you for the past two months now. At least now, he won’t have to suffer your rejection and embarrass himself for making a move on a taken girl.

“C’mon, my mom’s going to hate us if we keep her waiting any longer.” Your boyfriend is holding your hand, leading you toward wherever his parents are. You turn your head, looking like you want to say something to Rintarou, anything at all, but instead you give him a shrug and a small smile. 

He keeps that smile of yours tucked safely in his pocket, not knowing that it’ll be a few more years until he gets to see it again. 

vi.

Staying in touch is hard, but Suna is nothing if not stubborn. A random TikTok sent to you at 2 AM here, an attempt to meet for lunch if the two of you are in the same city at the same time there. 

Getting drunk from your high school reunion and sneaking into the library the two of you spent the better half of your high school years pining after each other in is the most fun Suna’s had in years. The two of you are lying on the plush carpet, too drunk to care about how dirty it must be.

“Gosh, we spent so much time in this place.” You’re looking up at the ceiling, tacky glow-in-the-dark stars still stuck to it, remnants left behind by students who graduated way before you two. 

“Some of the happiest times of my life.” He’s being too honest without realizing it. 

You laugh, thinking he’s just joking because you always think he’s joking every time he tries to hint at his feelings for you. Feelings that didn’t hit him until he realized how pretty you are, even with your hair tied back and your bottom lip being bitten to death by your teeth as you type away at an article none of the students in this school will even bother to read. Feelings that he wished he confessed to you on the dancefloor, when the two of you slow danced, and you asked him are we doing this as friends? and he didn’t have the balls to say anything but of course it’s as friends. 

“Yeah, I bet having me roast the shit out of every paper you wrote was the highlight of your second year.” 

“It’s because it was you doing it that made me so happy.” 

You laugh even louder at that. “Oh my God, Rin, you’re such a sap when you’re drunk.” 

“I’m not just sayin’ shit just to say it, y’know? I mean it.” He tries his hardest to make the sincerity in his words stick, but he’s drunk, and his words are kind of slurred, and his intentions just slip and slide away. “I liked you back then.” Still do, he doesn’t say. I still like you.

“No way, really?” You turn to face him, wide-eyed with a tipsy smile on your face that lets him know that you just don’t know how serious he is right now. “Because I had the biggest crush on you in high school too!” 

He always assumed the feelings were returned, but the possibility that they weren’t — that him confessing would just fuck up your friendship and have you leave him — was too large for him to risk it. Swallowing hard, he asks,

“Did you… Did you ever think we would end up together? Back then, I mean?”

You hum, too inebriated and maybe too distant to him now to recognize the pleading look in his eyes. “I wanted us to, but then I thought there wasn’t a chance in hell you would actually like me back. Gosh, this was all so long ago, though. I can’t believe we used to like each other, isn’t that so funny, Rin?”

The used to reveals enough to him. 

vii.

You’ve made a name for yourself now. You’re not just a mere sports reporter (he doesn’t know that he’s the first person you confessed your dream career to), but every professional volleyball team in Japan has deemed you their favorite reporter to see out on court. Rintarou blames the fluttering of his heart and the excitement that floods him every time he sees you at one of his games on your popularity, but he sees through his own flimsy excuse. 

You don’t show favoritism when it comes to conducting your post-game interviews, but tonight, you’re standing in front of the camera with him, smiling up at him with a microphone in your hand. He’s happy you’re here, but the only question he cares to answer is the what if? that’s been haunting him ever since that reunion. What if he confessed in high school? What if he sobered up after that night and told you the truth? Would this interview be different, then? Would you still say,

“Congratulations on a game well played!” 

And would he still say,

“I heard some more congratulations are in order.” He’s giving you the same lopsided smile he always gives you, the smile that rests on his face yet belongs to only you. It’s all anyone could talk about. Pictures of you flood his timeline; his teammates, other players, and sports fans alike all were overjoyed at your happy announcement. You didn’t just win his heart over, but a good portion of Japan’s as well. 

“Congratulations on your engagement.” 

You smile at him, practically beaming, shining so much brighter than these stadium lights, and he holds onto this one even tighter. A smile just for him, placed right next to the memory of the one you’d given him at graduation.

[lovebvni]

holaaa!! (dr rant + just an appreciation post)

(TW SLIGHT HINT TO GROOMING)

soo i’m shifting soon and i decided that im going to make my first album when i get there (LIKE START JT, DUDE. START IT. IM SO EXCITED) there’s going to b an ep i’m going to finalize when i get there and it will be released on the 26th of the month i get there (as it is kinda a diss on a MAN who was 26 when we dated… i was a minor still.)

i’m also gonna make a family tree because i’m really bored (and i also kinda js wanna see all my siblings yk? im gonna draw them all soon bc like AUGH AJAJDKDJ I MISS THEM!!!)

omgz i’m so excited dude!!

(appreciation below!!)

also i saw billie eilish in my dream last night. one of the funniest and sweetest people i know 😭 SHARK WAS ALSO IN THAT DREAM HES SO SWEET ‼️‼️ god i wish i could hug them today, just right now. yall don’t understand how much billie and finneas have been through together, and im so proud of how far they made it. i love you both, and although you won’t see this post in this reality, i know you will when we r together :DDD u guys make me so happy, so inspired, and just a better person overall. also huge thank you to billie in helping me with directing my music videos and being featured in one of my favorite songs — ripple effect. thank you finneas for just 😭 for keeping her alive, giving her a passion, and being so protective and supportive of her.

i’m so excited to b friends w both of them n js talk to them daily — it’s so fun.

i’m also super duper excited to meet one of my closest friends — nile — in person finally!!!! it’s been like 3 years of shifting together, and i know she’s excited too. i know she’s reading this, btw so i love u sm nile and thank u for being such a great and perfect friend throughout this whole journey. i truly don’t think i would still be kicking without you. i owe you the world, and i know you’re going to be blessed with many MANY things in the coming months, and the years following will be some of your best, but that’s only a taste of what is truly to come.

i’m so proud of you, and i’m also so round of everyone that has been clinging onto shifting even though it hurts. i’m always here for you. i love you all so so much. i want the best for you, and i know you’re going to get it. i’m always here to help in ANY way i can. ask me anything, i promise you i will answer with the wisdom God and the universe has given me!!

i cannot express my gratitude to my father, loki, enough. i don’t know how to even put it into words. he’s been there at my hardest, he’s been there at my best. i don’t think i would actually even be this far without him either. he’s one of the silliest and sweetest people ive ever met. i can’t believe he’s my FATHER you guys!! ITS SO COOL AUGHH

i also have so many people here i need to thank, there’s more that i can think of right now but just know i love and appreciate every one of you guys.

staring with @smellofemale!! you were such a sign when i met you. i don’t think i’ve met a christian shifter — you’re the only one i still talk to if i have! im just so so sooo blessed to have met you. i don’t know what to say, dude! i love you so much. you’re so sweet, so kind, and so inspiring. i love you!

@eneablack although you’re one of my newest friends, you’re another really really inspirational one. you’re so open about your struggles with shifting, even though you’ve had success time and time again. it shows me and many others how shifting sometimes is a hard thing to get used too, even with successes under your belt!

@daisys-reality! if you don’t know them, FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY PLEASE OMGGJAJSN she gives some of the best and most accurate readings i could ever ask for. also her drs (specifically her mermaid one) have inspired me so much!!

@kanachaka UR AO COOL BRO I JS LOVE SEEING UR POSTS AJSJDKDJD

@kazylynn i love u sm!! u rlly show me i can be an inspiration to others, and that’s something i’ve hoped for all my life. i want to be a good, helpful person — and i love you for showing me i can be.

@babybearthepsychic a few months ago you gave me a free reading that was just so accurate and so real. i don’t know if i would still be on this spiritual journey without it, because i was at one of my hardest points then. i cannot believe how just truly accurate and kind you are. i love you so much, you’re doing amazing. i wish i could give you the biggest hug, and i could donate like a million dollars to u rn but i literally don’t have a job 😭

@zipperrants i don’t think i rlly need to explain this… dude i thought u we’re so cool even when u we’re js interacting with @maddies-chronicles and i rlly wanted to interact w u so bad but i was so so scared bro!! and thank u hale for giving me the opportunity to meet them!!

@accidentalshifter YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE U REPRESENT IN THIS RESLITY — YOURE ONE OF THE FIRSR ADULT SHIFTERS I SAW ON HERR AND IM SO SO SO SO SOOO FUCKING HQPPY YOURE SO OPEN ABOUT IT! you’re just so free and it’s beautiful. i love you so much

and there are so many more but i just.. im gonna cry i love you all tooo much.. please know u all mean so much to me and i can’t wait to tell u so many stories when i get back, and help u guys shift. i am working so hard to post more, and i pray this post can help me become more active.

so so so much love, to everyone in this community, you’re so wonderful. may the gods bless you.

so much love, peace and joy

the abyss

[dollfaceksj]

AHHH i can’t wait for #20!! will we get to see the date?

read and find out! <3

sooo since it’s my bday today (jk bday twin 🤭😋) this is a little rushed and very short! but i still wanted to update so i hope u guys like it <3

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #20

masterlist

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you didn’t exactly speak to jungkook again for the rest of the train ride

and you kinda also didn’t remove him as a follower

🫨🫨🫨

so now you’re just. alone

in a booth

listening to music

doesn’t matter tbh

when you’ve arrived, you hop out the carriage

you separate from the others

and go home without another word

upon arriving home, you take the longest bath you’ve ever had

exfoliate

wax

take care of your skin

just everything

you put on your cute pajamas and crawl into your bed

and waste your entire day lying in bed

you get a text

from: tae tae

‘What you up to?’

from: you

‘nothing. watching tv alone’

from: tae tae

‘I’m bored. Can I come over’

from: you

‘sure’

you sit up straight in your bed and rub your eyes

hmm

tae doesn’t live that far so

he’ll be here soon

you make your couch a bit cozier with blankets and place some snacks on your table

after some time passes

your doorbell rings

you make your way to the front door and swing it open

“you need some more friends, taehyung,” you say as you put some of your shoes away to leave space for his

“i agree, he should.”

?

you look up

from your kneeling position

to make eye contact

with the devil himself

he stares you down from up there with hooded eyes

“where’s taehyung?”

he shrugs his shoulders. “i took his phone to text you. i know you would ignore me if i tried to dm you.”

he’s unbelievable

“why are you here?” you ask as you rise to your feet

he tilts his head to the side. “i still owe you.”

you frown

what does this damn junior want?

he needs!! to leave!! you alone!!

“and what exactly do you owe me?”

“an orgasm.”

the air knocks right out of your lungs

you shake your head. “i already told you. it was the last time.”

“i know but technically, you didn’t finish.”

UGH

you hate him.

you hate him.

you sigh quietly. “that’s okay. i don’t mind.”

“i do.”

for fucks sakeeeee

“you gonna let me make you cum? one last time?”

he closes the distance between you two, staring down at you with a neutral expression on his face

he’s not trying to convince you

it just seems like he actually takes this ‘favor’ seriously

“jungkook,” you sigh

“i swear i won’t bother you anymore.”

ugh

and now you’re reminded of everything tae told you

you wrap your fingers around his forearm and gently tug him further into your apartment

you quietly close the door. “you’re not bothering me, jungkook.”

he just stares at you, letting you speak

“but weren’t you supposed to hang with isabella today?”

a smirk creeps on his lips. “keeping tabs on my life?”

you scoff, “you wish. i just overheard you two talking.”

he hums as he kicks his shoes off and walks further into your apartment

DAMN JUNIOR

“so. you prepared this for me?” he nods towards the cozy couch and snacks on the table, picking one can of pringles up

“i prepared it for taehyung.” you snatch the pringles can out of his hands

he chuckles. “well, you put in all this effort. it’d be a shame if it went to waste.” he turns to face you fully

you look up at him and cross your arms

his eyes drop down your pajamas, taking note of your cute pajama set and fuzzy socks.

he quietly mumbles, “cute,” with a small smile.

your cheeks heat up and you turn away from him, heading towards the couch

“well, i guess you’re right but only because i don’t want my efforts to go to waste.” you plop down and sit down with your legs criss cross apple sauce

he takes his sweater off, revealing his plain black shirt as he goes to sit down next to you

you reach for the remote and start going through the available movies

he sinks comfortably into your couch, draping one arm behind your head on the backrest of the couch

you ask him if he’s seen some of these and he tells you that he’s actually not a big movie fan and prefers shows

preferably mystery and/or thriller

you nod your head, agreeing with what he’s saying

so you both agree on watching sherlock

and you have a lot of fun

watching it with him

:(

2 hours into the marathon

you glance over at jungkook

and

:(

he’s dozing off :(

you don’t know why

but it makes you feel some type of way

like

did he use the excuse of having sex to come here? just to hang out with you?

:(

ah

you just

start feeling guilty

you move closer to him and shake his arm

he quickly blinks and awakes, looking around. “oh, i’m sorry. didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

you shake your head. “it’s okay.”

he slowly sits up and stretches his arms. “so have you thought about it?”

you frown as you glance at him, pausing the show with one hand on the remote. “what?”

“letting me make you cum.”

….

you ask, “you’re serious about that?”

he nods his head like you just asked him about the weather and he knows the answers

“you don’t have to do that. if you wanted to get your dick wet, you should’ve let isabella come over. why come to me?”

at this, he frowns. like he’s genuinely confused

“because we didn’t get to finish last time. why are you bringing up isabella?” his frown almost stings you

you try to appear nonchalant and casual. “because it seems like she’s down for whatever. or not?”

he chuckles but there’s no humor behind it. “are you jealous?”

“now, why the fuck would i be jealous, jungkook?” you rise to your feet and gather the empty cartons and cans of snacks and drinks

“i don’t know, pretty. you just sound kinda jealous.”

you hear the smugness in his voice even when you’re all the way in the kitchen, throwing out the plastic and cartons

“don’t call me that,” you mumble as you start folding one of the blankets

he gets up and closes the gap between you, pressing his chest into your back

“what? you don’t like being called pretty?” he jokes, pestering you as he stays glued to your body with each move you make

he adds, “you definitely loved it when you were getting fucked, though.”

UGHHHH

can he just

GET LOST!!!!

the longer he’s here

the more your resolve crumbles

the longer you’re in his proximity

the more you want to take him up on his offer

you want to help him

you do

like tae said

but

is it worth it when it makes everything worse for you?

you can’t fucking stop thinking about him

and your body heats up whenever he’s near

you turn to face him. “you,” you start, “you’re not good for me.”

his expression falters. “what do you mean?”

you shrug your shoulders. “you’re like poison, jungkook. i don’t know what’s going on.”

he stares at you dumbfounded. “i’m so confused.”

“ugh!” you throw the blanket on your couch. “i spend one– ONE night with you in a tent, next thing i know, i’m having sex with you in the back of someone else’s car and letting you fuck me in a dirty tent while our friends are asleep.”

you swallow thickly before you mumble under your breath, “a guy like you should wear a warning.”

he silently stares at you for a moment before he crosses his arms over his chest. “well, i do. you’re the one that started coming onto me after tae warned you.”

you almost choke on air cause he’s right. “that has nothing to do with this.”

your body is starting to heat up

his serious expression…

hes so fucking hot wow

he steps even closer to you. “it has everything to do with it. just admit that you wanted me and stop acting like i did something underhanded so that i could fuck you. you know damn well you wanted me to fuck you as bad as i wanted to fuck you.”

a lump starts forming in your throat

he has you all figured out

but he’s not finished. “so quit acting like the bigger person.”

fuck

fuck fuckfuck

fuck you want him

you want him so bad

he adds, “you keep pouting at me like that and i’ll have no choice but to kiss you.”

fuck

the words leave your mouth without you even realizing. “then kiss me already.”

fuck

why did YOU

SAY THAT

he wastes no time lunging at you, cupping your face as he kisses you with so much fervor it sets your body ablaze

you let him walk you back to the couch before he sits down and pulls you onto his lap

you don’t hesitate for a second when you climb onto his lap

kissing him with equal amounts of fervor

tongues forcing their way into each others mouths

the not-so-innocent grinding

soft moaning

heavy breathing

fuck, you want him

you need him

his hands grip your hips, fingers draping over the swell of your ass

the more you grind your hips into him, the harsher his grip on your hips

until he starts spanking you

making you moan into his mouth

fuck he’s making it so hard for you to be the better person

is one last time really that bad?

but.. will it really be the last time if you don’t put a stop to it now?

you know if you accept, you’ll always just fall straight into his trap

and ‘a last time’ will never really be a last time

declining right now would help him in the long run, you could build that bond with jungkook that tae was talking about

so what will it be

toxic frenemies with benefits (ACCEPT)

or

healthy friendship and no more lying to tae (DECLINE)

to be continued

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[astradyke]

If u have dnp fic recs I would owe you forever 🙏🙏

hi, darling anon. i have not one, not two, but twenty two (+) of these! however, i don't want to overwhelm you or my dash, so i am going to go with seven pieces that i think display a range in tone, style, length, etc. if anyone would like other recommendations-- or perhaps at a later time, i'll do this without prompt-- please reach out! i have so many more that are wonderful and all-time favorites <3

(when you gonna realise) it was just that the time was wrong by The_Blonde (T, 96.5k, 6/6)

this is quintessential “i need to sink my teeth into something for the next XYZ hours of my life” — it’s a long, incredibly well-written piece of work. while this is obviously a piece of AU fiction, it really did shift how i view and appreciate Dan and Phil's relationship, and overall is an incredibly well-thought out exploration of love and internal want. masterfully executed, which seems to be a trend of this author. this is what got me into reading more phanfic-- i read this, found it imperative that i read the rest of this author's works, and spiraled into AU content. set aside a few hours and really soak this one in, it's worth it.

back to those tokyo nights by waveydnp (M, 3k, 1/1)

i am so obsessed with reading domestic fics, and this is so perfectly that. it’s a realistic, earnest exploration of the perspective character in a way that masters show not tell and unreliable narrator skillsets. i have other recommendations by this particular author and have found that they are excellent at introspection and dialogue. in 3k words, the author manages to say quite a lot, and i find it a very good read altogether.

now i know there is no other by georgiabread (N/A, 970, 1/1)

a very quick hurt/comfort read that is just nice on sad nights, y’know? i really love this one for nostalgia’s sake— this was one of the fics i believe i read when i was first/last immersed into the phandom, back when i was thirteen or so. i recognized nearly every word— so i’m fairly certain i had seen it back then. perhaps not, but either way, something about it is really familiar and comforting so i’ll put it forward. it's set during the earliest parts of their relationship, and just feels really true to the newness and simultaneous depth of their connection, and how young they are. something about the dialogue really feels perfect for the 2009 era-- the anxiety, the freshness, the infatuation.

walk slow and low on a tightrope by chickenfree (T, 6.5k, 1/1)

with my whole heart, i am telling you, this fanfiction left a seismic impact on me. it’s left me with a lot of new thoughts and perspective on Dan and Phil together (setting aside the speculative nature inherent to RPF, etc. etc., it definitely reflects on love in general and theirs in the more particular). it’s also affected me on a separate, personal scale. it explores loving in a way that is not typically actualized in display, something hard to wrap your mind around if you struggle to feel loved, and in a way that i had my own journey with and found that this piece explores expertly. and again, just the writing style of this author really captivates me. i’ve been meaning to rec this fic for a while now; the author's style is idiosyncratic and may not immediately click, but i maintain that this is a must-read, and is best to read a few times over. i cannot emphasize how much i adore this one, it's top 3 if not top 2 if not top 1.

let chance take me to your shore by basl (G, 15k, 1/1)

astonishingly under-appreciated piece that i am absolutely in love with. very enjoyable magical realism AU that implements hurt/comfort, internal and external angst, and fluffy domestic scenes in a really nice, seamless way. i really love how this fanfiction ends but am very attached to every scene— if you don’t have endless amounts of time, but want to get really invested into an AU setting, i couldn’t have a better fic to rec you.

slutty, slutty soulmates by sierraadeux (E, 7k, 1/1)

my God, this is THE explicit fic while simultaneously being THE soulmate fic. it’s an incredibly sex-positive and consistently sweet piece that has like, to die for prose. the way that the author writes amplifies the sensuality of a lot of scenes in a way that makes it intoxicating and fun to read. it’s honestly a very real, grounding piece, with funny moments and emotional moments as well. definitely top five favorite pieces, really heavily recommend if you are an adult that’s comfortable with explicit content.

as he goes, so i go by cloej88 (mutual alert! @bitchslapblastoids) (E, 16.9k, 1/1)

i am also in love with the companion piece to this fic, but i wanted to recommend the first in this series here. i am selective about works that describe their relationship during tour, and can positively say that i really love this one. i think it’s a really fascinating interpretation of their relationship at this time, and features a lot of key moments in the 2015 era that i really just have to applaud the writer for including in such a seamless way. i love the interesting subtype of yearning that the prose exhibits here. obviously, everyone has their different tastes and draws, but i think this is a strong universal recommend.

let me know if you want any more, and i hope you enjoy these! i tried to hit a wide range, but if you like one author's piece, check out their other works; some of these appear again at other places in my rec list, and i know many of them are active writers and/or have a substantial number of fics!

[burr-ell]

Honestly, it feels really good seeing Claude fan who also happens to love Lady Rhea. There's really not enough of us

Sending love 💛💚

anon this warmed my heart so much im gonna give u a snippet from the claude & rhea friendship fic i never got around to finishing <3

He took a deep breath and knocked.

“Enter.”

He opened the door and stepped into the archbishop’s chambers. The atmosphere was surprisingly soothing, sunlight streaming through the windows and a floral perfume permeating the air. Rhea was sitting up in her nice, if plain-looking, canopy bed, resting against a couple of squashy pillows with a teacup and a book on the bedside table.

“You wished to see me, Claude?” she asked.

“I did.”

“I take it you have further questions?”

“Thought I’d come to pick your brain,” he said easily. “You’re the only one who’s ever taken on Nemesis directly. We need all the help we can get straight from the source.”

Rhea smiled, almost unnervingly genuine. “I can advise you, provided we discuss what’s really on your mind first.”

He’d expected her to be able to disarm him, but he hadn’t expected her to be so pleasant about it. Still, he was nothing if not nimble. “That easy to read, am I?”

“Not at all, actually. Seteth has often complained of it to me.” Her eyes flicked upward, a practiced gesture of exasperated fondness. “But do not forget that I have been in hiding for over a thousand years. There are many skills I lack, but I can detect a master of the craft.”

“Then it looks like we’re on the same playing field.”

Rhea sighed. “I cannot force you to lower your guard, nor do I expect it, but…please, at least have a seat.”

She gestured to the chair next to her bed, and Claude seated himself, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“I gather you would still like to know more of the story of your professor.”

“There are still so many things that Byl—Teach still doesn’t know.”

“Including that you are here speaking with me.”

Claude nodded—he’d have been more surprised if she hadn’t guessed. “I didn’t want to worry her. And I think…she needs time before she can speak to you objectively.”

Rhea heaved a sigh, tipping her head back against the bed frame. “I understand. I—I gave you both quite enough information to take in. And…and she must be feeling…I cannot possibly understand what.”

“Neither can she.” He was careful to keep his tone neutral, but it was hard not to be accusatory.

“I owe her many apologies,” Rhea said softly. “Apologies that I cannot expect her to accept.”

“I can’t speak to where her head’s at right now,” Claude said slowly (honestly, Byleth’s head was still an enigma to him sometimes), “but I don’t think she’s—angry. She’s just…” He pressed his lips together in thought, then continued. “She’s spent her whole life being treated like a tool. And then she came here and sort of…found herself. And then she found out that someone who helped make that happen also wanted to use her.” He would know. He’d done the very same thing, before he’d gotten to know his best friend. His…well.

Rhea closed her eyes miserably. “I know. I have greatly wronged her.”

“She also understands why you did it,” Claude continued, “and why you kept it a secret. It’s just…a lot to process. Especially for someone who for so long didn’t even understand how to really feel anything.”

“And what about you?”

Claude tipped his head. “Me?”

Rhea frowned. “You are known for your inquisitiveness, and your thirst for knowledge. Yet you did little to question what I revealed to you. Why?”

Claude propped his chin in one hand, rubbing his lip thoughtfully with his index finger. “Honestly…what you told us made everything I’d been looking at for five years click into place. Just looking at the Relics alone, knowing what we know, and you can tell they’re made of—y’know.”

Rhea nodded, in a resigned sort of way.

“But if you don’t know the full story,” Claude went on, “you might not really think about it. Most people can’t use them, and they’re kept hidden away when they’re not being wielded. Even I didn’t get a look at Failnaught until my grandfather actually passed and I inherited the estate.”

Churning insides were nothing new to Claude, having dealt with them both naturally and otherwise, but even mentioning the bow was making him a bit queasy. How he’d yearned for the chance to wield it, knowing it would give him the opportunity to study it up close and grant him the power to achieve his greatest dreams, and now…

“It all makes sense now,” he continued softly. “I’ve never heard of something so horrific. And the way Seteth and Flayn are so secretive, and how upset Seteth was when Flayn went missing…” He paused, mulling over whether to reveal this particular piece of information—but it was unlikely that Rhea hadn’t seen such a thing coming, and at any rate, in light of all she’d shared with them, she deserved as full a story as he could give in return. “Seteth once confiscated a diagram I was showing Teach, of a creature called The Immaculate One. It had already given me some clues about Crest stones and Relics. At the time I thought it was because the church had something to hide…and in a way, I was right. And now I know that he was right to take it.”

Claude leaned a little closer, meeting Rhea’s eyes and their combined relief and sorrow. It was an expression he knew well—of finally finding someone who understood. “I didn’t even think to say it before. I am so, so sorry, for everything that happened to you. No one deserves to live in fear just because of who they are.”

“You…” Rhea swallowed thickly, eyes misting. Claude fell silent and averted his gaze, giving her a moment to regain her composure.

She took a deep breath. “Your words touch my heart—truly, they do. Yours is a perspective gained from cruel experience.”

She knew. Or at least she’d guessed. It was unsurprising, really, but he couldn’t help the thrill of anxiety pulsing in the back of his mind. Even so…there was an odd kinship here, one he didn’t even feel with Byleth when they discussed it, that kept his panic at bay. “Yeah,” he murmured, “I do. I know better than most people what it’s like to be resented and hated for being who I am. And what I’ve been through…it can’t even compare to what happened to you, and Seteth and Flayn.”

Rhea smiled, eyes still watery. “Such things are not competitive. At the end of it all, there are others who understand.”

[zumicho]

💞 but really I just want to know what you think of ur mutuals ^^

anon. look what u made me do.

ask game

💞 : @ your favorite blog

if you weren’t on this list know I love you !! I just have bad memory <3 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER !!

@causenessus was the first mutual on this blog I actually talked to / interacted with and her tags for white denim overalls really solidified the fact that I wanted to be part of this community <3 ily ness !!!! anon you didn’t ask but I’m going to list my favorite works from these people too lol

new grounds I think about every 4 business days, and how they comfort you (I’m definitely biased) is so well written and heartfelt !!

@mitskicain is cheating in this thread bc she’s my irl but also quite literally my favorite person alive even tho she NEVER REPLIES WITHIN THE SAME DAY (stuck up, I know) — and if ur into ken sato she’s a great pick !! she has some haikyuu works coming soon too <3

@mollyrolls . the barney to my ted. i love her so bad u guys have no idea I miss her whenever she’s not on here n I’m so grateful they exist </3 molly if u see this u didn’t read that. i hate you i hate you i hate you I hate you hey cupid! is my favorite rendition? version? take..?? on iwa on this app (I’ve said that already) & all shades of blue is criminally underrated

I CAN TELL THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INSANELY LONG POST IM SO SORRY 💔💔💔💔💔

@nectardaddy is an incredible writer and person all around I still can’t fathom that they’re in my dms. dodger u are insane and i love u

88 ford is a well known obsession of mine !! if dodger is the president of the ‘GET UP’ / down bad club consider me the vice president. OH AND IM SO EXCITED FOR I HATE YOUR GUTS

@sweetfushi , the akaashi to my bokuto — sweetest person ever, is one of my only jjk moots and put me onto the show itself 😭🤍 I can’t pick a specific favorite but the way she writes nanami is perfect to me !!! there’s also mha and haikyuu on her page go take a look <3

@kuroppiii RO. THE PATRICK TO MY ART. my favorite film freak on this app. they have a challengers inspired miya twins fic that takes up 90% of the space in my brain. if u don’t go read right NOWWW I’m coming for u and ur family

@sandwhitches IS SOOO FUCKING UNDERRATED her smau dedication is everything. PLUS MY TWIN FLAME HELLO I LOVE U MITCH !!! ur humor is top tier and I’ve never clicked with anyone as quick as I have with you ugh — read on sight or it’s on sight 💥👊

@guitarstringed-scars I haven’t interacted with u as much as I’d wish to but MO UR SO COOL !!! ur movie taste is everything to me and raven’s eye diner is such a creative piece of work and so so fun to read ,, I have to sit down and grab a snack whenever I do

@cr4yolaas is legendary for making mezzo forte I owe u my life rye. I’m so serious rn I was hooked from blue spring (which I still haven’t finished bc i don’t want it to end rip) and I’ll be staying a fan forever!! ur blog is a blessing to this community

@/yenonoff is on a hiatus and I don’t want to bother her but she’s a great rec if u like haikyuu AND eye candy when u read. her blog is just so nice to look at and i miss her terribly

not being on this does NOT mean I don’t like u pleaaaase know I love all of my mutuals dearly n cherish every interaction I have with u all

[jack-kellys]

notes from december performance post-previews that i somehow just wrote up last night in august 2023 whattt how did that happennn:

the way jack replies to “you’re seeing stars alright” feels way more in response to crutchie’s attitude- and when he talks abt his dad getting stomped on it’s not just a context reveal. it’s jack telling crutchie he’s self-aware, he understands his shit place in the world and his desire to change it. just that it’s nice to dream. ow

“time for dreaming’s done” isn’t said with a smile. btw. if u even care

jack stealing finch’s mirror gets me every time

katherine looks back at jack at his “im crushed!” with a little smile

i get that the only reason buttons helps with a lot of the tricks is because he’s the DC but that doesn’t make it any less sweet… he’s always with splasher lmao

jack is quite uncomfortable with the nuns, he doesn’t look at any of them

never ever over spalsher’s little head tilt after his big flip

oscar grabs race’s collar on “i guess he didn’t take care of me!”

morris goes to hit crutchie again after pushing him to the ground before jack stops him

love when race bounces on his toes when he thinks he says something funny

morris blows his cig smoke into davey’s face when he’s grabbing him the extra paper

henry imitates les with finch as his davey, hobbling up to weasel down on his knees

jack rolls his eyes after telling davey “it’s just business” after shaking les’s hand. like can u believe this guy lmao

“mine taught me not to starve” looking at davey like ‘wtf is wrong with you’ LMAO. like jack’s irked with davey actually judging for something so ingrained into jack’s life fr

“HEY!! who was that guy >:(!”

medda checks on jack’s hair and he giggles mid sentence :) like “mooom in front of my friends??”

kaths look of Disgust when jack goes “i admire smart girls” is soooo done. she’s finished w this mf

katherine stays on the set as it shifts into WWK’s scene, staring at jack’s drawing, totally absorbed. i just think it’s fun how when davey sees jack’s backdrop he’s stunned in the same way kath is at her portrait. anyway

jack goes toward finch during the “our union is hereby formed to watch each other’s backs” after leaving ike and finch sweeeeerves away from him. finch only comes on board when davey does actually

when jack’s on the wagon with the “what if the delanceys come out swinging” etc he does a small laugh when the newsies all yell their response like he’s surprised !!

katherine is positioned right above the world’s door as if she’s. inside. ofc initially we read it as her just observing from above but it’s her literal building too.

“specs, you take queens.” “thank you!”

buttons gives kath a friendly wave and race offers his water cup when katherine comes into jacobi’s. walks right past the water even as race keeps his hand out lmfao

tommy lifts elmer into his arms after kath says they’d make front page

“this is not some little vaudeville im reviewing” felt more significant

“give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens” is a Plea.

welliguessitdependsonhowyoulookatitifyoulookandseebrooklynthenthey’rewithushaha! then race guns toward davey to yell at him

davey is not afraid to yell when his nerves get shot —> when the scabs boutta get they shit rocked

“them? or them.” OSCAR WAVES LMFAOOO

piggyback for les from racer

fight time

-morris has it OUT for racer in the pre-cop half. literally think he gets smacked with the bat TWICE. he’s on the ground, watches splasher get smacked from the ground, and BOLTS UP and races over to him shoving past morris. insane

-jack only swings on the rope to make a clear path for davey and les actually bc that action is the only reason they get to that half of the stage

-finch and romeo teammates for LIFE. they fought like the whole thing together fr. only pair that stuck out to me for the whole length of it (and then of course they watch crutchie get taken from the audience ough)

-nah jack Is a good fighter thru this it’s just the seize the day moment w the delanceys that he’s shit at btw

-davey doesn’t fight literally at all the whole time :/ c’mon. uncanonizing this in my mind

-SPECS KICKS ASS !! he’s got a bat and everything!! fuck yeah!!

shut up jack wipes at his eye during santa fe at “guy can catch a break”

^guy who lets out a sigh of relief when the post card is still in his pocket. fuck off

act twooo

kath goes to racer abt where jack might’ve gone and he’s abt to answer before albert pipes up

race flicking davey’s hat to the side>

^also they keep chatting thru tap sequences i love it

kath holding davey’s hand while they talk in the corner during table movement

crutchie holds his side when he sings…

^the only part crutchie gets teary at is when he starts talking abt the boys/family :,)

“and a little something extra, just on account of im gonna miss you so-” sounds like medda broke off bc her voice got watery 🥲

“every newsie—who could walk—was out there selling papes” OW the rephrasing of that line

as soon as jack turns his backdrop around to show the strike painting davey walks away soooo fast to turn away

WWH reprise is such an argument. “WE’RE ALREADY WINNING!!” yell davey yell!!

^jack makes the most fuming, boiling angry face after “y’know why a snake starts to rattle 😌?”

davey initiates the spit shake when jack offers his hand

kath is Mortified watching snyder expose jack’s refuge history AND SHES SO MAD when pulitzer gets between her and jack omfg

“be glad you’re alive, kid” is spoken and cruel asf but wbk

morris’s laugh kills me everytime it’s so fucked in the head. goddamn

jack doesn’t let davey touch him when he enters the rally like he doesn’t want davey to look like he knew abt the betrayal beforehand….

scope runs RIGHT up to jack after spot pushes him and goes to yell at him LMAO… lucky has to drag her away

“is that really what it’s like in there? rats everywhere, and vermin?” is taken as judgement and not concern and jack fuckin jumps on it LMAO

the actual motion of disgust jack makes at “you just double crossed us to your father- your… father.” dead every time he literally flinches

“i just didn’t tell you everything!!” is said at the opposite side of the stage as jack and looking down and away. idk why she’s the only katherine that has ever played this line as guilty but i’m always so glad for it

“i’m not stupid.” “no-” “i know girls like you… don’t wind up with guys.. like me.” heathers voice: i will never shut up abooout this

jack seems very afraid of the word love?? during kath’s entire piece of STBI he stays away from her… and she def thinks she’s fucked up for a sec fr

wah this song is so tender :( they hold each other very softly

“hey! um… it’s good to have ya back.”

clarice’s spot also has a moment with race beside just letting the kids into the cellar together..<3 ik lillie’s has more tho

there is something so personal abt davey jacobs saying “bleeeed ‘eeeem” while looking dead into jack’s eyes

davey’s reckless hug once jack’s made the deal with pulitzer… every timeeee

FINCH CRUTCHIE HUG!! first to get to him and holds him the longest before race and jack come along :)

“new york’s got us. and we’ a family.” is said as such a statement of fact like crutchie just ends any argument right there. he just knows jack so fucking well.

:)

[kenmacel]

do u have hq fic recs . actually u can rec stuff that has stuff from where i havent gotten to yet as well js tell me and i’ll like read them later. but yeah

man do i have fic recs. fuck my life. a lot of them are for when you get further in the story/finish but i'm sure there are some in my bookmarks that are ok to read where you are right now. stars next to my favorites of all time.

OK TO READ RIGHT NOW:

tan lines – deanpendragon tsukiyama, 18k, rated t (although i personally would rate it m) once you finish the tokyo training camp arc i cannot recommend this more. it's like dlc for said arc. sweet, summery tsukiyama. there's a scene in which they get each other off in chapter nine so that's something to be aware of. campfire in your chest – deanpendragon tsukiyama, 74k, rated m (i read this so long ago i forget if it gets more explicit than that. there is a sex scene though) classic slow burn tsukiyama. kei's a big idiot.

stay, stay, stay – deanpendragon kagehina, 28k, rated t companion piece for the above fic!!!! so cute ! i love them! even if you're ahead for a bit, i will catch up – ghostpot kuroken, 4k, rated g classic krkns...i don't have much to say teach me the way home – icespyders kuroken, 22k, rated t KRKN ON TRAINS !!!!!!!!

sister's day – interconnected_3 tanaka siblings, 6k, rated t sweet sibling relationship :( made me really emotional. also, rads recommending me this way back when was the start of our friendship!

the certain things we lack – deanpendragon tsukiyama, 89k, rated m toxic relationship divorcecore. love cannot save you. makes me kind of sick jupiter at 3:33 a.m. – deanpendragon tsukiyama, 37k, rated t college au, reunions, etc...

the walk home – skiecas ☆ kuroken, 42k, rated t literally the krkn bible. cannot sing this thing's praises more. MUST-READ!!!!!

wags and whiskers – deanpendragon tsukiyama & kuroken, collectively 45k, rated t linking the whole series. yamaguchi works at a pet store and tsukishima works at the neighboring music store! very summery, cute, and FUN. so much fun.

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) – gabstar bokuaka, 15k, rated t soooooo super sweet like cavity-causing sweetness.

READ ONCE YOU'RE FURTHER ALONG: (this section is for non-spoilery fics, you just don't know the characters)

silly love songs – batman atsuhina, 12k, rated t wedding planner atsumu! so silly and sweet. the people of tumblr don't know how ill i act about ao3 user batman.

low risk lap – batman kurotsuki, 18k, rated e (SO EXPLICIT) formula 1 au i mentioned in the tags of that one ferrari kageyama fanart. note that i HATE this ship with a burning passion. this ship is covered in the slime and i despise it so much. that being said. ao3 user batman—your favorite fic author's favorite fic author—loves them. and she has RANGE. silly, sexy, thought-provoking, heartbreaking, and everything in between—all this, she can write. thus i have the weirdest parasocial relationship with batman. radish knows every ugly detail. this fic in particular is so batshit funny and sexy and i can't help but love and hate it at the same time. THIS FIC IS SO GOOD AND IM NEVER GOING TO READ IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

every lover in the form of stars – starstrikes sakuatsu, 51k, rated t produce 101 au baby !!!!! idols!!!! reads like you're watching a survival show.

soda can blues – kitouma sunaosa, 1k, rated t short and sweet I LOVE YOU SNOS

everything is blue – hatsuna semishira, 3k, rated t first hatsuna of the list, baby...

take care when you fall – perennials kuroken, 1k, rated g read once you've read ch 318 !

pas de deux – hatsuna sakuatsu, 19k, rated t dancer sakusa :) one of hatsuna's best!

you never have to wander, wonder – sieges sunaosa, 22k, rated t buzzfeed worth it fusion. i come back to this one a lot! probably my fav snos, but i need to read more fics of them.

READ ONCE YOU'RE FINISHED WITH THE MANGA:

infatuation – spells atsuken, 7k, rated t I OWE ATSUKEN AN APOLOGY I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH THEIR GAME!!!!!!!!!! obsessed with this kenma

1000 backyard pools – hatsuna hinata siblings, 25k, rated t natsu-focused hinata sibs relationship study

THE FRANKLY ALARMING AND HIGHLY UNNATURAL ORDER OF THINGS IN THE MSBY BLACK JACKALS' PRESENT-DAY UNIVERSE – perennials atsuhina, 8k, rated t frankly ao3 user perennials never misses with the buffoonery they somehow spin into evocative gold. i'm convinced they're an alchemist of some sort. quarantine fic.

the contest between – batman ☆ osaaka, 75k, rated e (skippable sex scene) the tcb i mention on here sometimes that i'm sure radish is tired of hearing about. genuinely rewrote my brain chemistry. fic i sent to my creative writing teacher in an email with the subject line "my inspiration." a masterclass in vision and translating it through writing. surprisingly political commentary on dining and accessibility disguised as anime fanfiction. i think about this one all the time. there is some fire fanart too. read this. please.

in another castle – thehoyden ☆ kuroken, 19k, rated e (skippable sex scenes, except the last scene before the epilogue is a sex scene..) #1 kuroken real estate fic in my heart. very domestic and quiet, as is their relationship. tastes like konbini food.

i'm finally somewhere that i have to be – ghostpot kuroken, 6k, rated t KUROKEN REAL ESTATE WINS AGAIN!

your leg my leg your arm my arm – batman kagehina, 1k, rated t makes me kind of crazy.

san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm – yamabato sakuatsu, 8k, rated t plays out like a movie. very vivid. eight thousand words, and every one of them is vital.

the banyan trees are – hatsuna hiruhoshi, 9k, rated t hawaii ! so lovely. hatsuna paints this beautiful image of oahu, soft and cerulean blue at the edges, and places hiruhoshi at its center. this is how you use epithets well. in my top three hatsuna fics, if not number one.

little beast – perennials gen, 3k, rated g the only fic that's made me cry to date. an ode to haikyuu in its entirety.

northern downpour – hatsuna sakuatsu, 18k, rated t the atsumu rain fic. it's been a while since i read this, but it came at a time i really needed it.

i wish to live in a world – hatsuna ☆ sakuatsu (NOT SHIP-FOCUSED), 18k, rated t THE coming of age komori-centric fic. so fucking good. just. oh my god.

everything is old is new is old is new again – hatsuna ☆ hanamakki, 16k, rated t on premature grief, but more importantly, on love. makes me cuckoo bananas

dog eat dog eat dog world – perennials sakuatsu, 8k, rated t staple skts fic tbh

winterstory: or how the boy king fished the sun out of the sky – perennials kagehina, 2k, rated t kageyama tobio the boy that you are.

sky scraper – perennials gen, 1k, rated g ao3 user perennials just has a gift for scooping out one's insides idk what else to say

[crowdemoninkinkyboots]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "crowdemoninkinkyboots "?

before i give my fav fics, my username is in reference to sebastian because he’s a crow demon with kinky boots uvu

okay these are in no particular order but here’s my top 10 fics:

Shapeshifter by Honeythief

black butler, sebaciel

y’all this fic broke me. whoever suggested it owes me emotional compensation. but it also hurt so good. it’s in first person which may turn off some people but i promise it’s worth the read

Sanglier by vanroku

twisted wonderland, rookpel with a hint of jackpel

it’s painfully hard finding dead dove/whump content with my fav pomefiore boys, but this is absolutely perfect

Timeless Eternity by GammaRays

demon slayer, kibutan

y’all this fic is dark. but it’s so good. it kinda sparked my thing for captor/captive tropes, and tbh it’s probably my fav kny fic

actually i lied the next two are fics i commissioned i still absolutely adore (they’re also omegaverse lmao)

Knock Knock Little Bunny by mattysones

demon slayer, kibutan

i was so excited for this fic and it was worth the wait. omegaverse + whump is such a tasty combination for me and matty wrote it perfectly. best money i’ve spent.

Torridity by mcpoggy

demon slayer, kanaoi

mcpoggy is usually a giyutan writer and i’m probably going to add one of her other fics here but i absolutely adored how this fic came out. it’s so vanilla compared to the other fics listed but i love it. i need more omegaverse yuri in my life

When I Kissed The Teacher by mcpoggy

demon slayer, giyutan

this is like THE giyutan fic, and also my first bookmark on ao3. it’s also vanilla compared to most other fics on this list but giyutan does have an age gap. it’s super long but i’d alway recommend mcpoggy’s giyutan fics uvu

heads rolling for the one i adore by nyabatos

genshin impact, zhongven

ok i’m INCREDIBLY biased because the author is my best friend but she’s such an incredible writer. it’s also such an interesting au where venti sacrifices his freedom to zhongli to save mondstadt and the aftermath of that deal

The Fall of Mondstadt series by Probabri

genshin impact, kaeluc

whoops my bias is showing again bc i’m also friends with the author but this story awakened kinks in me i didn’t know i had oops

Spear Fishing by reallybadcontent

genshin impact, beidou/fem!reader

ahem. so. i’m not typically into reader pov fics but beidou is. beidou. and i’m a weak lesbian. and ngl i also imagined my oc instead. so. next fic

Dream A Little Dream of Me by BadBadz

black butler, sebaciel

ok i’m being biased again, since this was based off of a tumblr post i made, but i was so happy it inspired someone and it turned out great. of course my fav sebaciel fics have angst in them…it’s like i like hurting myself…

pls lmk if y’all have ever read any of these fics/ur thoughts! i’m sure u all noticed a trend lol