#if you get a bad feeling like I did

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[hyakunana]

I hate the sewers . jpg

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

[ellsellmesoull]

seeing a lot of yt vids abt scammers and their tactics and most of the comments are just calling the people who get scammed idiots

But guys come on, if you call them idiots your just validating them more

They're gonna think ''everyone else thinks this is dumb because they're not on my level, i'll show them soon enough''

And idont think people really understand how easy it is to get manipulated

Ok storytime

When I was in 6th grade, our school had this festival thing that the principle promotes like once or twice a year.

And all the different classes set up stalls selling everything from food to books toys anything you name it

And you could bring money and enjoy a whole day

And I was very excited because this was my first time since I moved to that school

And in my class, there was this girl who I was friends?(more than acquaintances) who came up w an idea

Lets all pile in our money and she'll carry it so if some one is too poor to afford something we could all help them out.

Shes like if someone cant afford much they're gonna be sad when they see everyone else enjoying and we were all friends so we didn't want to make our friends sad

But then she says, if you don't have enough to enjoy then this will help you

And now we are in the picture. Each of us saw us as the person without enough money. And she did a good job convincing us.

30AED? I bought 150AED and im willing to buy stuff less cus when we share and spend money equally, ill get wayy less money than I bought with me.

So like 5or 6 of us group together and pile in the money.

Now I got suspicious. But we were having fun and I saw her as a friend so I naively trusted her. And I was alone.

I was the new girl. No one else to hangout with and if I do this, I got a group to hangout with alldayy.

But another girl stopped me, and I should've listened but I was too caught up ecstatic that I ignored her. She didn't call me an idiot but warned me but I was an idiot and didn't think much of it.

Until...we got seperated. The scammer girl kept ALL the money in her purse and when you wanna buy something you gotta ask her.

Halfway walking with her I realised this was a bad idea. Cus everytime we wanted to buy something, she would complain that it was too expensive. What if someone else wants something but cant buy cus you used too much money for yourself.

Eventually I managed to wrangle a used toy for my sis and found the girl who warned me.

I cried for a good while. And she was very comforting.

And then together we decided to confront the scammer. But by the time we found her, she was alone and used all our money. So she cannot refund me. And everyone else was also equally pissed off.

Because while everyone else got something cheap, scammer girl was the one who bought wayy more than her budget because she leached off of ours.

So you I WAS an idiot. And stupid for not seeing it coming.

But the thing is, if you call someone an idiot for falling into the scams and enjoy them suffering cus of it like they are no better than the people who scammed them, that's not helping.

You should be attacking the scammers not the victims. You could call them idiots after the scammer is x-x

Better to raise awareness, or in our case sic the class teacher on the scammer.(that's a metaphor for contacting authorities to take action).

[canisalbus]

i've returned for 2 seconds to tell you that they're not leaving my head. (sort of unrelated but i've been thinking as well. what if vasco died before machete ? what would go down)

.

[plulp]

SYDNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bamsara]

So is the reason for Tyren getting more unhinged the side effects of the devotion necklace, or was this a downward spiral he would have gone done regardless of the necklace? I remember you talking about how the necklaces have consequences, and I'm curious if this is one of them.

Yeah!

Tyren would have been an already overly-doting and even jealous character on his own without the loyalty necklace, (and had been due to his crush on the Lamb even before recieving it, and what happens when you reject followers in-game) but his spiral into a unhealthy obsession and idolization was aided by the loyalty necklace.

If it was given to perhaps a regular, less devoted follower, the effects maybe wouldn't have had such severity. But Lamb got the materials/necklace from the mystic seller and isn't fully aware of the effects it might have on their followers yet.

So, dog is unhinged a bit on his own, but amplified by the necklace. He's originally friendly, caring and sweet. But you take good traits, too much of a good thing, and they can turn bad

[willthespy]

Yes, I use solangelo for all my little drawing experiments. What about it?

EDIT: this looks like the fucking propaganda posters that they throw at you in history class... i might have accidentally created solangelo propaganda, i fear

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

[yardsards]

the thing about labru vs kabumisu is that both of them have the same core appeal to me, specifically from kabru's side of things: kabru being someone who is constantly agonizing about social rules and putting on the right mask, and meeting this Weird Fucking Guy who does not (cannot) care about all those things, and so kabru slowly allows himself to be more genuine. they're both such good relationships (whether you view them romantically or platonically), why must there be so much hostility between enjoyers of these ships?

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[tubbytarchia]

gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)

[erynalasse]

I wonder when the Noldor looked around at their dwindling numbers and realized that they were dying faster than they could ever keep up with.

[puppyeared]

Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u