#if you hate anakin because he killed younglings then it doesn’t make sense to love reva

[kittenfangirl20]

I don’t hate Reva, in fact I am rather indifferent to her, but I can assure you that if you do what antianakin want that will only make so pretty much no one will watch the show since Reva was such a controversial character. They say that they don’t want Anakin mentioned or to appear in the show, but I bet they wouldn’t have a problem with every character patting Reva on the back and telling her that she is right to hate Anakin even though in Phantom Menace it is said that hate will lead to suffering. I bet they also wouldn’t mind if there was a scene where Reva proudly declares she never killed a child and then have a flashback where Reva hesitates in killing a child and Vader just magically jumps in and kills the child while we have an extreme close up of Reva sobbing uncomfortably while Vader kills the child even though this wouldn’t make any sense. Reva was a person who was fine with kidnapping Leia in order to draw out Obi-Wan and was very close to killing Luke, so she definitely killed children, yet Anakin Haters love her even though we are constantly told that they hate him because he killed the younglings at the Jedi Temple. In fact I think it would have made more sense if Obi-Wan had been forced to kill Reva in order to protect Luke.

[ophiespeaks]

Can you please go over this?🥹 I've been agonizing over what to do about making Anakin NOT join the empire. I also can't decide if I want the clone wars to happen or not😭

omg so y’all are gonna hate me but i’m shifting for the sequels…but i promise it’s not that bad!!! i’m actually changing like pretty much the entire plot and only salvaging characters and very small additions! i saw this youtube video essay that someone gave ideas for a bunch of ways the sequels actually could have been good that the directors just didn’t do, and i’m stealing some of those. the main one is instead of it being the New Order VS New Republic, there’s a secret even bigger third threat that forces both sides of the Force to work together so the universe isn’t destroyed. i LOVE theatrics apparently!

i’m personally down bad for kylo ren so i can sorta still answer this ask because they’re so fundamentally similar of characters! also, i love star wars, so i’ve definitely thought about Anakin not becoming sith and how that would play out!

i think force visions are very underutilized. it’s a canonical part of the universe that we know Anakin DOES have, because it’s part of the reason he turns to the dark side anyways (he sees himself slaughtering the younglings). i think just scripting that he doesn’t turn to the dark side is a good safety net, but if you wanted to make it more “realistic” in a sense, you could definitely have him get a force vision of you or obi-wan or his mom dying or getting hurt over his actions, which would make him more apprehensive towards the dark side. yes, those visions were most likely sent by palpatine to convince him to join the dark side, but i think an authentic vision of what would happen if he turned to the dark side would keep him wary to the idea.

i also think if anyone got between anakin and palpatine early enough that he wouldn’t be so delusional. maybe script you know/find out palpatine is a sith lord early-on, and the Jedi become aware of it. If you want to be the main character (i totally do this 😭) you can have the council assign you to go spy on palpatine instead of anakin, which would break their bond and make him less likely to fall to the dark side.

Anakin is also literally the chosen one, so he’s meant to bring balance to the force. i personally think the wording of the prophecy doomed him from the start. because, as we learn from Yoda— there’s always two sith. a master and an apprentice. after darth maul was killed in ep. 1, Palpatine needed a new apprentice anyway. And, if he could convince a Jedi Padawan to join the dark side, that would be a double success. The way the force needed be balanced at that moment was with the sith taking on a new apprentice, not by the Jedi defeating the sith like they thought the prophecy meant. So, I think another good way to establish a realistic reason for Anakin not being swayed could be instituting another sith apprentice for Palpatine after darth maul, or simply having it that maul escaped the fight with qui-gon and obi-wan. If palpatine has an apprentice, and Sith come in pairs, he has no need for Anakin Skywalker to become a sith.

On the topic of the clone wars, i mean, you can absolutely do whatever you want. i would just remind you that it is a war— clones, droids, etc. are going to die. if you do want the clone wars included in your dr i would definitely put up some safety nets in your script! things like “i will never be in a position where i have to kill someone” or “broken droids are later fixed” so you don’t feel bad about taking them out! but at the end of the day it’s really up to you! the clone wars come with so many interesting stories and characters, but you also have to remember that it is still a war at its core, even if it is a space war with lightsabers and funky little droids! leaving it in or taking it out both kinda have their ups and downs. if you script, i would add some safety features just to resolve your own worries. if you don’t script that’s also perfectly fine, your subconscious knows what you want and will have it there for you in your dr!

i hope any of this helped! thanks for the ask :)

[alrighty-anubis]

I would never be angry at you (Anakin & Obi-Wan)

2No Warnings Apply 

During a game of twenty questions Anakin finds out that his master isn't the perfect Jedi. This sparks his confession about the Tusken Raiders and his marriage to Padme.

(Mentioned Obi-Wan X Cody)

Find it on AO3

Obi-Wan entered their shared quarters and flopped onto his bunk, all the grace of a Jedi Master replaced with exhaustion.

“Bad day?” Anakin asked, words mumbled by his mouth stuffed full with sweets.

“Yes.”

This was an under-exaggeration, Anakin thought, if the man hadn’t told him off for talking with food in his mouth.

Obi-Wan pulled his outer-robes and boots off before reaching under his bed.

“What is that?”

“Wine.”

“That does not look like wine, Master-”

“It's from Bail. Old, strong and illegal in 12 systems.”

“Master,” Anakin drawled out, knowing his tolerance was nothing compared to the other’s and if Obi-Wan admitted it was strong…

Obi-Wan sighed and reached behind the drawers, retrieving another (Anakin-friendly) bottle.

“How did you know that was there?”

“I’m your Master, you can’t hide things from me.”

“Why didn’t you confiscate it, then?” Anakin asked, confused by his rule-following Master allowing Anakin to stash alcohol - he’d been using that space since he was 15.

“You’re an adult now, Anakin. And quite frankly I was just glad you had friends.”

“Hey-” _________

Anakin and Obi-Wan were leaning against each other on his bunk.

“I know,” Anakin smirked, “How about we play a game.”

“Oh?” Obi-Wan looked down at Anakin.

“Twenty questions.”

Obi-Wan let out a breath laugh of amusement. “Okay, then. When was the last time you tested Ahsoka on her cultural studies?”

Anakin scowled.

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve been taking over the theory instruction of our Padawan.”

“My Padawan.”

“When she’s misbehaving.”

“Hey! Anyway, I have a question. Would you rather kiss Windu or Plo Koon?”

“It's Master’s Windu and Koon” Obi-Wan corrected.

“So you don’t mind speculating about which one you’d kiss, but the lack of ‘Master’ is where you draw the line?”

“I would kiss Plo, he is a dear friend of mine and quite frankly not as scary.”

Anakin laughed, “You’re afraid of Windu?”

“Like you aren’t," Obi-Wan feigned thinking before planting a smirk on his face, "Okay, what is your Grievous tactic?”

“How do you know that?” Anakin burst out.

“I just have a second sense when it comes to your stupidity,”

“I swear if Rex told you-”

“Wrong trooper.”

“Wrong trooper! Which other ones have you been hanging out with? Wait. Are you stealing my men?”

Obi-Wan just smiled.

“Fine. Ahsoka sits on my shoulders and we wield four sabers like him.”

“By the force, Anakin -”

“We spin them manically and-”

“Wait. Where did you get the fourth lightsaber?” Obi-Wan interrupted

Anakin grew quiet, his voice reluctant, “Sometimes Cody doesn’t return it to you immediately, and we both know he’s weak to Ahsoka’s tooka eyes, like most of the men,” Anakin trailed off. Just as Obi-Wan was going to scald him he carried on, “What would you do if you weren’t a Jedi?”

Obi-Wan decided to let go of his line of questioning in hopes of avoiding going grey early. “I don’t know - I’d want to help people. I could say something rather Jedi-like, such as work the land. But I’m afraid I was put off that when I was sent to the Agricorps. Realistically, I’d probably still be a general as I am now - just without a lightsaber. As much as I hate war and the bloodshed that comes with it - I am rather good at it. As much as I try to be the perfect Jedi, my skills lay in an area which juxtaposes that. It is ironic, I suppose, that I was never meant to be a Jedi Knight, I become one anyway, and then my speciality recognised by the Council is the furthest thing from peace.”

“What?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed on his glass and his signature resonated with shame, “I had planned on never telling you that. But it just felt like you needed to know. I’m sorry if I’ve shattered your image of me.”

Anakin’s face lit up with relief, “You’re not perfect”, he breathed out.

“No,” Obi-Wan’s low chuckle was exasperated and self loathing, “No, Anakin, I’ve never been perfect.”

“Why didn’t you want to tell me?”

“Because I was ashamed of my past, still am. I was a run-of-the-mill youngling: too much anger and too much pride. No Masters wanted me and I was sent to the Agricorps.”

“What do you mean no Master wanted you? You and Qui-Gon were so close!”

Obi-Wan looked down and moved away from Anakin. “We weren’t as close as you think, these memories are from when you were young and naïve. We were too different, we fought and I always knew he didn’t want me. You saw how quickly he threw me away for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You were the best thing to come from him,” Obi-Wan’s voice was steeped in a resentment that Anakin had never thought possible.

“You were angry. As a youngling”

“Very much so. Anger and attachment were always my biggest pitfalls. I’ve worked hard on them, but I’m afraid my issues with attachments have grown rather than disappeared.”

Anakin smiled at that, taking Obi-Wan’s hand, “You know, I never realised how much like me you were. Nearly as much as a disappointment to the Jedi.”

Obi-Wan laughed, body shaking as a smile replaced his reminiscent scowl, “Well, only one of us has left the order.”

“You’re joking”

“No, Melida/Daan. Qui-Gon wouldn’t stay to help the children in the war. I did.”

“Your experience being a General before this?”

“Yes.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, comfortable in each other's presence. But as Anakin stewed in the other’s words his anxiety leaked into the force.

“This could have really helped me when I was a Padawan.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It was selfish to want to maintain the way you saw me - the perfect Jedi.”

“I always compared myself to you, looked up to you, I resented you for a bit because of it.”

“I know. And I knew at the time. I was not the Master you needed.”

“You were the best Master you could be,”

Obi-Wan laughed self-deprecatingly.

“No, Master, I mean it. You weren’t the problem. I was,” Anakin paused and wringed his hands as he considered his next words, “My anger was-is a problem. I have done things I regret and that you would hate me for.”

Obi-Wan’s shock at that statement had him sitting straight and placing a hand on Anakin’s cheek, “No, Anakin, I could never hate you, never, you’re my Padawan. I love you.”

Anakin recoiled from the touch, not believing he deserved his Master’s love at this moment. A man so ashamed of leaving the Jedi to save children in a way zone as a Padawan. Anakin had much worse things to be ashamed of. Things he didn’t think Obi-Wan could ever even imagine himself doing. Tears gathered in his eyes as he looked down at his lap through his lashes.

“I killed the Tusken Raiders. They hurt my mother - she’s dead - and I killed them all,” the tears began streaming down his cheeks.

“Oh, oh, Anakin, dearest” Obi-Wan whispered.

Anakin couldn’t stand that tone. He stood up and began passing. Eyes puffy and hands shaking, he began to shout, “I cut them down and felt nothing. The children - they screamed for their mothers - like I had - and I cut them down like animals. I hated them. And the dark, the dark it curled around me - it was like someone was choking me and cutting me off from my body and my emotions like I was a puppet killing them all.”

He grabbed his hair tightly in his hands and pulled, sinking down to the ground, “I killed them, I killed them,” it was as if the fog had cleared and Anakin was realising this for the first time.

“Hey,” Obi-Wan stepped forward and gently grasped his Padawan’s wrists, trying to untangle his hair from his unyielding grip, “Anakin, stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

“I hurt them.”

“Yes, you did. And you can’t change that,” Obi-Wan took a calming breath and repressed his shock and upset, his Padawan looked so small and this darkness wasn’t all his own.

“Anakin, what you did was wrong and entrenched in darkness. But you are light. This action hasn’t changed that. And I do not think it happened without influence. But Anakin, so many Jedi struggle with the dark. We have the power to enact our own judgement and no one can stop us. That is why we need to stop ourselves. And this time you didn’t. You can’t bring back the Tuskens, but you can let go of your anger and make sure this won't happen again.”

“I don’t know how to let it go.”

“Oh, Anakin-”

“It is so deep inside me, tangled with all the light,” Anakin let Obi-Wan take his hands away from his hair, staring far into his eyes, “Master, help.”

“I wish I had seen this sooner. Anakin, tomorrow morning we will start. We will meditate together and I can guide you.”

“Please, I’m sorry.”

“I know, dear one,” Obi-Wan collected Anakin into his arms.

“Will you tell the council?”

“No, at least not for now.”

“They will kick me out and then I’ll have to leave you and Ahsoka and Rex and-”

“Anakin, if they expelled you we would all follow.”

“Oh. Why won’t you tell them?”

“I don’t trust them to judge the situation fairly, there is something not quite right in the council. They’re stuck in ways from times which have long passed. And Quinlan and I may be doing some under the radar investigating that which is influencing and amplifying your darkness may help.”

“You’re both taking a mission they’ve denied.”

“They can’t deny that they don’t know about.”

Anakin smiled for a moment in the comfortable silence before sombering again. “I thought you’d be angry at me,” Anakin whispered.

“No,” sadness filled Obi-Wan as he gently took Anakin’s face into his hands and placed a kiss on his forehead, “No, my Padawan, I could never be angry at you.”

He pulled a blanket to him with the force and wrapped them in it, “I wish you had told me, but I wasn’t the most approachable Master. I put walls between us unintentionally, to protect myself I guess, and you. I didn’t want you to grow attached. I knew I was and wanted to spare you the judgement and the pain. I wasn’t a good role model so part of me felt better when you despised me in your late teens. I’m truly sorry I wasn’t a better Master, Anakin. But know now, you can tell me anything and I will always love you. I raised you, all parts of you.”

“I’m sorry.” Anakin’s eyes were dry, but red and puffy, he had run out of tears and exhaustion hit him. “I’m also married to Padme.”

“I know,”

“I broke the code again.”

“Yes, but that is the order’s code - not the Jedi's.”

Anakin looked at him in confusion.

“You know, I am in a relationship of sorts with Cody.”

Anakin burst out of the blanket in shock, suddenly very awake, “Cody!”

“I thought it was obvious, even the council knows, unofficially of course. Another reason they make life harder for our lineage.”

“I didn’t know.”

“-Because you were trying so hard to conceal your own relationship. I mean, you mentioned only earlier that he carried my lightsaber.”

“I didn’t think it meant anything.”

“Aren’t I always telling you that your lightsaber is your life?”

Over the shock of the new information, desperately trying not to think about Cody and his Master, Anakin asked: “How did you know about Padme and me?”

“Everyone knows, you’re not very subtle.”

Anakin huffed in annoyance.

“It's okay, Anakin. I forgive you for everything. I only ask that you forgive me for not making sure you understood the rule of attachment and for not teaching you my own interpretation.”

“What I have to forgive you for is nothing compared to what I did.”

“And yet I forgive you. I always will so long as you realise that you were wrong and want to do better. I think we forget that the Jedi code is not what we should or can be, but an ideal we should strive for, to be as close to as we can.”

“What do you think about not allowing love?”

“I think you mean not allowing attachment. Love and attachment are different. Love is selfless, attachment selfish - something that would lead you to do anything to keep those that are yours. Attachment is possessive, love is not.”

Anakin looked as if the origins of the universe had been revealed.

“Some Jedi believe we should not love, for love leads to attachment. But to be a Jedi is to live enveloped by the force, to welcome all aspects of it. Not to command it, like the dark, but to embrace it. The force is life, and loving is such a fundamental aspect of life that to ban it is to sensor a huge chunk of the force. Jedi are taught to be compassionate, and I believe it is only by loving truly, selflessly and in a way open to all life forms that we can truly be so to all.”

“How do you stop love becoming attachment?”

“I don’t know - it's never been my strong suit. If you were taken I would tear cities apart to find you, just as you would for Ahsoka - and I would too.”

“I would for you as well.”

“I’m not sure if I should say thank you or not. I know that I would not react in a very Jedi way. I have these attachments and they won't go, and I’m not willing to work on letting them go. But if you were ever to be killed, which I pray to the force doesn’t happen, I would have to accept it. It would kill me to do so, but I would - eventually. And I have in the past. I think, the law of attachment, is recognising that you are attached but building boundaries that you won't cross. I may be angry, but I would try my hardest not to let go and act on it. I would think about how you wouldn’t want me to fall. Although this is all easier said than done.”

“I can love Padme, you, Ahsoka, Rex, my men and my droids and do everything in my power to not let them get hurt so long as I don’t hurt others in the process.”

“Yes. We are not judges. Nor do we have any right to execute our will because of our emotions. But we do have a right to feel those emotions. For example, I would travel anywhere to save you, but not if it put the lives of all my men at risk. I am responsible for them, and my attachments aren’t theirs.”

Anakin nodded and tears welled in his eyes, “I want to be like that. Good. Like you. But I wasn’t. How do I know that I will be next time?”

“You know that you can talk to me, or at least I hope you do,” Obi-Wan stood up.

“Yes,” Anakin took the other’s hand and was pulled upright, they headed towards Anakin’s bunk where Obi-Wan unceremoniously plonked him, “When did you get so wise, Master?”

“I always have been,” Obi-Wan chuckled, “You’ve just never listened before.”

Obi-Wan returned to his own bunk and laid down, closing his eyes. Just as he began to drift off Anakin woke him, “Wait, all those nighttime council meetings that were too secret for me to attend, were you fucking Cody?”

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan scalded before a blush sprayed across his cheeks, “Yes, but unlike you and Padme I enjoy the illusion of discreteness.”

“Ugh, Master, I didn’t need to know that.”

“You asked,” Obi-Wan sounded all too amused at his Padawan’s disgust. “Now rest. I’m sure tomorrow will be exhausting.”

“And yet you always tell me meditating is restful.”

“Not when you’re complaining the whole way through.”

“I won’t, I promise. Not for this. Good night, Master.”

“Good night, Anakin.”

Words: 2600

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[tennessoui]

Does anyone else wonder what would happen if Anakin & the Clones were to 'steal' some of the Jedi's so called Reject (or ones on the way) Initiates? Obi-Wan did spend time as a Slave & he has clearly been Brainwashed by his CURRENT Masters. Anakin with the help of Aayla, Ahsoka, Vos, Obi-Wan, &Clones could raise them to be great. I never understood why they took the L.S. from the people they sent into the Corps when they say that L.S. are their lives. Basically saying that they are Dead to them.

ahh hello you sent this i think in May and i'm gonna be a bit honest i didn't like it that much because i think it's much, much too heavily jedi-critical for my tastes--obligatory pause for the I Love The Jedi Order ad run-- so i wrote this in about an hour about what i think would happen if Anakin and his men were to steal some of the Jedi Initiates, and no. No, it doesn't go well. Because the Jedi raise their kids in a community for a reason and literally Anakin could not do that alone and there is no way i can see it working on a practical level because I don't think Anakin or his men know the first thing about childcare, save for Anakin's occasional shift at the creche.

I didn't mean for this to be Anakin-critical, but someone had to be the guy getting lectured and i figured it should be the guy that kidnapped some kids. anakin needs to get lectured more sometimes imo.

(1.6k)

Three of the Initiates won’t stop crying, and a fourth has been shivering since they jumped into hyperspace, no matter how many blankets Rex has draped over their form.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Anakin doesn’t know what to do. He’d thought…well, Anakin’s sure that his former master would say that he hasn’t been thinking at all lately, and certainly not when he’d hatched this harebrained scheme to steal away younglings from a cruiser bound for the AgriCorps.

But he’d thought, really, that all Initiates would be like Ahsoka had been when she’d come to him as his padawan. That they’d be snarky but kind, quick to adapt and ready to listen to him as the authority figure.

Apparently, every youngling isn’t the same. Who knew.

The fifth Initiate who had aged too old to be taken in by a master sits in sullen silence by the porthole, but they’re screaming in the Force.

Anakin’s head hurts. He’s being bombarded on all sides by children whose mental shields aren’t strong enough to keep their very strong emotions in. They’re terrified. They’re terrified of him.

He calls Obi-Wan. He doesn’t know what else to do, and he had never, ever wanted to hurt these children. He’d been trying to help them.

It just turns out that he doesn’t know how.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan snaps as soon as the call connects. Anakin flinches away from that tone. It means danger. Not in a physical sense, but in a I’m Very, Very Disappointed With You sense. Which might be even worse.

“Master,” he says. One of the Initiates lets out a particularly high pitched cry.

“Are the younglings okay? What have you done, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asks him in an aghast tone.

It makes Anakin bristle, even though he’s just been thinking the same thing not a minute ago. “It’s not right that the Jedi just send some of their younglings away! They deserve better than that! They’re children! They deserve choices! The Jedi—they took them from their homes and then they’re just giving them away! It’s worse than slavery! And if you can’t see it, Master, you’re as brainwashed as the rest of the Jedi!”

The holo of Obi-Wan looks at him for so long that Anakin starts to fidget. Finally, his master shakes his head slowly. “That was a very nice speech, Anakin. Who told you that?”

“I can’t think for myself!” Anakin snaps.

Obi-Wan raises a delicate eyebrow and checks something on his datapaad. “I see you were scheduled to have tea with the Chancellor at 2000 last night. Is it safe to presume you discussed the Jedi tradition of sending Initiates to the Corps?”

Anakin blushes furiously at that. It had been the Chancellor, actually, who told him about this in the first place. He’d always known, of course, but he hadn’t known the details. “You take away their lightsabers!” He shouts. “Master, you told me that my lightsaber was my life! And then you just take them away from the Initiates? It’s like you’re killing them!”

Obi-Wan looks alarmed and even confused. “Anakin,” he says slowly. “Are you really expecting the Jedi to let barely trained thirteen year olds run amuck with dangerous weapons?”

“Barely trained? I was only six years older than that when I was Knighted!”

“An event I regret not arguing against more every day,” Obi-Wan rubs at his temple for a second before looking up at Anakin. “A lightsaber is your life if you’re out in the field, on a mission, on a dangerous planet, in a war. In what event would a youngling need one in the AgriCorps? Would you run to the Senate and demand Senator Amidala’s floating podium? I’m sure she would say it’s her life.”

Anakin splutters. It’s not the same.

“But put all of that aside for a second, alright. Yes, I too wish that younglings and initiates brought to the Temple to be trained could all be trained. But there are simply not enough Jedi. And one should never rush a padawanship in order to take on another Padawan. Do you know what happens to the Initiates sent to the Corps?”

The Chancellor had made it sound as though they were forced to do backbreaking work in the fields of the planets the Corps had bases on. Anakin gets the feeling that if he were to say that now, Obi-Wan would disconnect the comm, and as much as he doesn’t need a lecture, he does need help.

When Anakin makes no move to say anything, Obi-Wan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “The younglings you’ve kidnapped—they’re in pain, yes?”

Anakin crosses his arms at the phrasing, but he can’t deny that they are crying.

“Initiates sent to the AgriCorps are sent in groups of ten or more if we can help it. That’s because it helps them latch onto each other and strengthen their own shields, all with a mind healer in the cruiser with them to oversee the process. And upon arrival at the AgriCorps, they’re specially trained still until they would have been Knighted. Not in combat or diplomacy as you and I were, but in meditation and compassion, as you and I were. We don’t…the Jedi don’t just send our younglings out into space alone! We have systems in place that help with the transition. Systems you have ruined because you did not even try to understand them.”

“I wanted to help them,” Anakin protests, but it’s weak and he knows it.

“Help them? Help them?” Obi-Wan repeats. “Padawan, unless you have been spending much more time in the crèche than I have ever seen you voluntarily sign up for, you have no idea how to help them! I have no idea to how to help them! The Jedi raise our children communally for that very reason. You cannot do it alone. Neither could any of us, but together we can. What were you going to do, Anakin? Where would you take them, how would you feed them? Clothe them? Train them? Were you going to form training bonds with all of them? Because you’re powerful, you’re the Chosen One. You don’t need the Jedi Order.”

“I never said that,” Anakin mutters. “I’m not—I didn’t do this because I’m the Chosen One or—or whatever, I—“

“Was listening to the wrong source of information, I am highly aware, yes. Now. We do have your coordinates now. There will be consequences for this. There has to be. Hopefully harsh enough consequences that the next time you think you can abuse your authority over your men to unilaterally right an injustice only you can see, you think twice. You call me before you commit a felony.”

“Palpatine told me you were almost sent to the AgriCorps!” Anakin bursts out. “He said you were made a slave!”

Obi-Wan freezes and turns his face back to Anakin completely. “Ah.” He says.

“You admit it!”

“I…they were hardly related, Anakin. Bad things happen, yes. No matter how hard we try to create a perfect system. External trouble will arise. Like, say, your friend Palpatine who, indirectly through you, has managed to derail a simple AgriCorps drop-off and also ground The Hero With No Fear during a war.”

Anakin curls his lips. “This isn’t about anything but the younglings. I felt them on that cruiser. They were scared! And sad! And confused! And hurt! You can’t tell me you weren’t when you thought you had to leave!”

Obi-Wan runs a hand over his face and stays quiet for a few moments. “I was,” he finally admits. “And I’m sure they are too.” Anakin goes to say something, but Obi-Wan holds up his hand. “I’ll not mention the fact that I’m sure you’ve made it worse for them, despite what I know were only gold intentions. And I will say yes, I was scared. And sad. And hurt. And angry too. I was leaving my home. I didn’t understand why.”

Obi-Wan fixes him with a cutting stare, one that makes Anakin feel all of eleven again.

“Tell me this though, Anakin. How did you feel when you left Mos Espa with my master, Qui-Gon Jinn? Did you feel scared? Or sad? Perhaps angry? Hurt?”

Clenching his jaw around the denial that he hadn’t felt any of those things (he had), Anakin nods stiffly.

“Because you were leaving your home?” Obi-Wan presses.

“No one should be forced to leave their home. No child should feel like that!” Anakin bursts out.

“But do you still feel like that?” Obi-wan ignores his outburst. “Do you still feel angry and sad and scared and hurt all the time? Do you hate the Temple that much, Padawan? The Order? The Council? …Me?”

Anakin stares at him, and Obi-Wan shakes his head slightly and clears his throat.

“I apologize, I should not have made that so personal. My point, however, is that they are scared now and they are mad now, and they will not have the life they thought they would. But they will not be alone to work through that disappointment. How could you think you and your men are better equipped to dealing with these younglings’ needs than a community of fully trained people who have been in their position before?”

Anakin scowls, but there’s a high piercing sob from behind him that has him turning around in worry. Kix rushes over to the youngling, but he can’t help them. He’s not Force-sensitive, let alone trained in the Force. Obi-Wan’s right. Force, he hates it when that happens.

“Alright, master,” Anakin says when he looks back at Obi-Wan. “I’m sure you’re on our tail already, so we’ll turn around and meet you halfway.”

“Thank you, Anakin.” Obi-Wan tells him quietly. “And…Padawan, I know your heart was in a good place but…oh, we’ll talk much more about this later.”

“Yes, Master.”

“And Padawan? Perhaps no more tea with the Chancellor for a while.”

“…yes, Master.”

[hellowkatey]

angstpril day 1: "you have to let me go"

the five times Obi-Wan hears these words, and the one time he says them

1-Satine // 2-Qui-Gon // 3-Satine // 4-Ahsoka // 5-Anakin // +1-Luke

1

Her touch is light. A few fingers lazily intertwined with his as they sit beside one another. Knees knocking together with every restless leg shake… or perhaps, a purposeful movement. Her touch is light because Qui-Gon is in the next room, and his footsteps are virtually silent to the ear when he wants them to be-- and around the two of them it's like he's constantly padding on the tips of his toes just to raise Obi-Wan's blood pressure.

Her touch is also light because it's the last moments they have together. Satine and him seem to have different philosophies when it comes to saying goodbye. She likes to distance herself. Satine would sooner put galaxies between them and whisper her final words through a commlink than have a proper farewell. She says it's because she hates when people see her cry, so it's easier this way. While Obi-Wan doesn't like seeing her cry, he can't deny that it's when tears fall from her eyes that her eyes are bluer than the kyber crystal of his lightsaber. Breathtaking. But Obi-Wan also knows that if she starts to cry there is a fair chance he will follow close behind, which is why he lets these light touches be the thing he is etching his memory with.

If he had the choice, Satine would be wrapped in his arms, her body as close to him as they can possibly get. For as long as they can manage. He would memorize the way her hair smells, the places where their bodies fit perfectly together, and the map of her veins he likes to trace with his fingers. Given the chance, he would kiss her, kiss her the way he wished their first kiss had gone, and the way he hopes she remembers when they are worlds apart.

Her light touch twitches from its spot. Fingers separate, and he's left with nothing. Were they in the presence of others, he might accept this as their final touch, but the room is empty and Obi-Wan isn't satisfied with this goodbye. He reaches out, grabbing her hand as she stands, knowing full well she has every intention of walking out of here and not looking back.

"Please," he says. "What if I leave the--"

"You have to let me go," she says. Satine won't let him finish that sentence. Just like he would never let her finish her own version. He holds her hand for a second longer and then decides to indulge one last time.

A kiss on the back of her hand. The brush of his lips as light as her touch on his fingers, and then he lets her go.

2

His skin is cold. How can it be so icy already? Only seconds after he fell-- or so it feels-- and Qui-Gon's skin is clammy and cold. Obi-Wan is panicking. He has been trained not to panic in every situation imaginable but somehow Qui-Gon failed to instruct him what to do if he finds himself holding his dying master in his arms.

"It's… It's too late," Qui-Gon says in a tone that is much too weak for Obi-Wan to perceive as being real. Tears spring up in his eyes and drop onto Qui-Gon's chest in unceremonious splatters. It feels so un-Jedi-like to cry, but he has lost the will to care about that.

"No," the padawan protests. He shakes his head like a youngling,

"Obi-Wan," his master says. While he sees his lips moving, he is suddenly aware of Qui-Gon's voice within his head, speaking directly into their Force bond. A message only for him to hear.

"You have to let me go."

He looks at him with horror. "The medics… they will be here momentarily just hold--"

"You have to let me go, padawan. My time is over."

Even Obi-Wan feels it now. The Force wrapping around his master like a warm blanket. His skin is still cold with Obi-Wan runs his fingers along Qui-Gon's cheek, but his spirit is ablaze.

"Yes, Master."

Obi-Wan promises many things in those final moments, but the hardest comes when Qui-Gon leans back into his leg, his weight releasing and his last breath coming out like a soft gasp of relief.

3

While every other goodbye Satine has ever given has been curt and distant, leaving Obi-Wan wishing there were more, nothing prepared him for the goodbye he thought he wanted.

She lays in his lap. His arms wrapped around her, her body pressed into his chest as close as she can possibly get. Satine looks exactly as his memory stored. Golden hair he has to brush out of her smooth face, cheeks red and cheekbones high. Her hand is slipped into his and she's squeezing it hard-- were her veins not slowly releasing their content of blood he might be able to trace them with his finger like he used to when they'd lazily lay together watching the clouds overhead.

Satine's blue eyes are as vibrant as the kyber crystal that called to him as she tells him that she loves him. That she always has.

And when her hand cradles his face, a touch as light as all the rest, he is thrust back into reality. Somehow the faint touches and distant goodbyes always felt temporary. He would always see her again whether in a few months or years or decades. But somehow she is right here and already gone-- the way Satine always liked to say goodbye, especially when Obi-Wan was nowhere near ready to say it himself.

You have to let me go, she mouths to him as her eyes flutter closed. Because somehow she knows that making those her final words aloud to him would crush him in every way. When her hand falls limp at her side, he catches it.

A kiss on the back of her hand. The brush of his lips as light as her touch used to be, and though he feels like his entire world is crumbling around him, he lets her go.

4

He catches Ahsoka outside the Temple. A few tears fall from her eyes, but even as she allows him to walk next to her, she says nothing. Her shields are up. Tight. And when he looks at her he can see the dark circles under her eyes and the slouch of her shoulders. She's exhausted. Physically and mentally.

"Ahsoka," Obi-Wan stops to say when they turn the corner and he is confident they are alone. She stops but doesn't look him in the eye. "I am so sorry."

"Did you…"

"No," he says. He knows what she's going to ask, and it breaks his heart she would ever think he would. "Not for a second. I tried--"

"But it wasn't enough, I guess."

She finally looks at him. While anger, frustration, or even sadness would be expected of her, Obi-Wan is unsettled to see none of that. Rather, he sees resignation. Content. The determination that he knows all too well. His chest swells with guilt. He should have done more.

"The council will let you return," Obi-Wan says, the hope in his voice betraying him. "Even if you've already said no if you change your mind they will-- They must. They--"

"Abandoned me. The council abandoned me. Didn't believe in me. Are they even sorry?"

"The council… isn't always right."

"Master Kenobi, you're talking as though you are separate from the council."

A deep cut. He nods through the bitterness that he deserves.

"Ahsoka, whether you decide to return or not I just hope you know I tried. And I am sorry I didn't push even harder."

She nods. It isn't forgiveness but forgiveness is not what he is looking for. Just for her to listen.

"I understand. And I appreciate you coming after me. But you have to let me go."

So Obi-Wan stops. Immediately, and she almost looks shocked when he does, but she keeps on walking through the stutter-step of surprise. Her eyes linger on him for a moment long, and then her mouth that has been so set on remaining neutral flickers into a sad frown. Obi-Wan doesn't have to see her sadness for long, for his grand-padawan is as strong in will as she is in battle and she looks forward to her path unknown. Ahsoka doesn’t look back, and he doesn't expect her to.

He didn't listen to her once, and he won't make that mistake again.

5

Ten years since they battled on Mustafar, and still, standing in front of the man that was once his padawan, brother, and friend, has not gotten easier. He is more machine than man now. A glistening sculpture with a mangled interior he knows too well. The strangest part of it all is feeling his signature in the Force. Though he looks like Vader and sounds like an asthmatic bantha, and nothing about him is remotely reminiscent of Anakin Skywalker, the Force still registers his presence as a person Obi-Wan knows well.

"I always wonder if you are still in there, my friend," Obi-Wan says. His saber is already drawn, ready for a redo of the battle he thinks about on a daily basis. With any hope, he can right the wrongs he made a decade ago.

"You have to let Anakin Skywalker go," the Sith says, the annoyance in his voice palpable even through the respirator. "He died on Mustafar, where you killed him."

"It's funny, I remember that going differently. I remember Vader being the one who silenced my brother and took advantage of his power."

"Then this shall be a fight for who writes history."

Vader is the first to lunge, but Obi-Wan is ready. He never forgot the sound their lightsabers made clashing together as enemies ten years ago, and today it is all the same.

+1

The Force is singing at a time when Obi-Wan would least expect the Force to have any sort of positive opinion. How this situation can yield any good is far beyond the old man, but he has learned over the years there is no point in arguing with the will of the Force.

Vader is relentless. Since their last battle he has only grown stronger, and once he learns of Luke-- who is conveniently also present in this space station of destruction-- his lust for power will swell with the idea of having his son at his side. Luke is strong, kind, and well-balanced for as untrained as he is. Obi-Wan senses greatness from the boy, but all that will fail if he allows Vader to win.

So he seeks him out. Battles him yet again in a test of wits and swordsmanship. Nineteen years on Tatooine has made Obi-Wan rusty in some senses, but there is one thing he can count on.

Whether Vader admits it or not, Anakin is in there. He can see it in the way he duels, the way the wheels turn in his head and he approaches battles. Anakin was always creative and quick, using his environment as well as his lightsaber to attack from all sides. Vader is the same fighter behind that sword. While he may not be as limber in his cyborg suit, there is a part of him that is still Anakin. If that is the case, then the Force is singing because the time has finally come.

Are you sure? He asks the Force. Though it doesn't reply in Galactic Basic, as would be most convenient, it does wrap around him like a warm blanket. Obi-Wan can feel the Force that flows within him go ablaze, and the feeling is a familiar one.

Obi-Wan looks through the open blast doors as Luke runs in, his mouth open in awe and eyes filled with worry. He looks at Vader, too enthralled in the fight to pay any attention to the importance of the person just a handful of meters away. And the old Jedi Master smiles.

Vader staggers. Obi-Wan can practically see Anakin behind the mask doing a double-take. Wondering what in the world he could be thinking to be losing their duel and grinning at him.

Obi-Wan raises his lightsaber. I'll see you soon, Master, he says into the Force, and as Vader's swings through the air, he hears Luke cry out in protest, and then nothing at all.

"No!" Luke yells, immediately regretting his outburst when five stormtroopers take notice of their position and start firing. He can see Ben's cloak in a heap on the ground in front of the murderous monster that just cut through him, and out of desperation to save Old Ben, he starts firing back at the troopers.

Han and Leia are yelling at him to get on the Millennium Falcon, but he has already downed one trooper, and he can get the rest! He can get the rest and defeat Vader and--

"Luke," a voice says. His head turns by instinct, but it isn't a voice speaking to him aloud, nor is it Han or Leia's voice. "You have to let me go."

"Ben? Ben are you--"

"Go, Luke. All will be revealed in time."

Luke stands for a moment in a daze until Han screaming at him to blast the door pulls him out of the trance. He does as he's told, and as Vader marches toward him the blast doors slam shut in his face, separating him from the monster that killed Ben.

"Run, Luke, run." Ben's voice rings in his head. He doesn't understand it, but he listens.

[cloudyskywars]

Back to December is about Anakin and Obi-Wan and here’s 2,000 words why

So there I was, listening to Back to December, you know, as one does. And then I nearly started crying because this is without a doubt an Anakin and Obi-Wan song. I roped my friend @renegadeontherunn into doing a full song analysis with me. The whole analysis is based from Anakin singing this to Obi-Wan immediately after the events of Return of the Jedi. So everyone’s a Force Ghost, and feelings ensue. Enjoy the angst! 

The analysis will be below the cut, because as I said, it’s approximately 2,000 words. 

I'm so glad you made time to see me/ How's life? Tell me, how's your family?/ I haven't seen them in a while - Obi-Wan’s family was the Jedi. And Anakin has spent the past twenty five years hunting down the Jedi, eliminating them one by one. And now that he’s one with the Force, he’s gotta be wondering, “Are the other Jedi here too?” because he may not have realized it, but they were his family as well. I’m just imagining Anakin asking Obi-Wan where everyone else is, and Obi-Wan having to tell him that not everyone stayed with the Force the way that he and Yoda did.  

Your guard is up and I know why- Obi-Wan’s guard probably wasn’t up, but Anakin would expect it to be. He rightfully feels guilty, and probably expects Obi-Wan to hate him and not trust him anymore. 

Because the last time you saw me/ Is still burned in the back of your mind - on Mustafar, Anakin literally burning, the image no doubt haunting Obi-Wan ever since. In Obi-Wan’s 20 years on Tatooine, how many times do you think he replayed that memory in his mind? You were my brother Anakin, I loved you/I hate you. (grouped with previous two lines)

So this is me swallowin' my pride- Anakin as a Force Ghost, standing in front of Obi-Wan. He’s asking, begging for forgiveness, even though he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Anakin was always prideful for a Jedi, and this is him humbling himself and asking for Obi-Wan’s forgiveness (for so many things; Order 66, turning to the dark side, killing the Jedi, killing him)

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night - the night Anakin fell to the Dark Side, their fight on Mustafar, and also probably the last 20+ years of him as a Sith and causing so much death and destruction. He’s sorry for so much, but especially that night when everything went wrong. 

And I go back to December all the time - he revisits that battle in his mind constantly, still hating Obi-Wan as Vader, but feeling deep (deep deep) down, an enormous sense of regret and guilt, and especially at the end when he reunites with Obi-Wan

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you - We see in Episode 2 that Anakin feels that Obi-Wan is constantly holding him back, preventing him from reaching his full potential (feelings no doubt put there by Palpatine) Once he turns to the Dark Side, he believes he is stronger than ever, (“I’m stronger than the Emperor, I can overthrow him.”)and so most likely feels “free” from Obi-Wan and the duty of being a Jedi. But we know that he learned, eventually, that all the Dark Side brings is loneliness and despair. “It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the Sith — because now yourself is all you will ever have.” 

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine - Anakin spent much of his time as Obi-Wan’s Padawan feeling less than and like he was never good enough for Obi-Wan. Then, when he finally became a Knight, he still felt held back by the Jedi. In reality, he had a substantial support system there waiting for him, ready to help him, that he never realized existed. He had the tools and the people he needed to be a successful Jedi and to have a happy life and to stay in the Light, but he didn’t use them. And now he’s wishing he had. That he’d recognized his and Obi-Wan’s friendship when he’d had it.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright- Can you IMAGINE the regret Anakin is feeling right now? After 25 years of being the terror of the galaxy, Darth Vader, he has finally returned from the dark and knows all the bad things he’s done, and now recognizes that they were bad things. He slaughtered younglings, helped strike down the remaining Jedi, even took away the clones’ free will. Just imagining the pure regret that he must be feeling at this moment. 

These days, I haven't been sleepin' - REVENGE OF THE SITH ANYONE??? We know for a fact due to the Matthew Stover novelization of ROTS that Anakin was getting almost no sleep during the events of the movie. I believe when he Fell he had been without sleep for,,,, at least three days? (I think it was five but I’m not sure)  Anakin please take a nap. Nightmares!!! But also, as Vader, I’m pretty sure Anakin doesn’t actually need to sleep or at least doesn’t need a ton of it, so again he’s literally not sleeping and only sustaining himself on the Dark Side.

Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'- Do you think- do you ever think that during his time as Darth Vader, he would constantly replay those days when everything fell apart in his head? I’m specifically thinking about the scene where he marches on the Jedi Temple. Granted, in that scene, he isn’t leaving, per say. He’s returning home, but it is no longer the place he calls home. I imagine that scene playing on repeat in his mind, because that’s the moment that he passed the point of no return. Before that, yes, he had already screwed up, big time. But he hadn’t crossed the line yet, I don't think. 

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times- At this moment I’m sure he’s feeling loads and loads of guilt and regret, as discussed above. But I can’t help but think he’s also thinking about the good times he shared with Obi-Wan and Padme. (Padme specifically because of summer and Naboo for that one good week, where they fell in love and it was beautiful.) And although his relationship with Obi-Wan was strained near the end (and eventually fell apart) there were good times, times that they both cherished. During his time as Darth Vader, he probably looked back on those memories with hate. But now that he’s Anakin again, he is probably remembering those times fondly.

I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side- [insert gif of Obi-Wan smiling in the speeder] 

And realized I loved you in the fall - in the Fall. This could be for either Anakin or Obi-Wan. There must’ve been a part of Anakin that knew he was lying when he shouted “I hate you!” and felt happy when Obi-Wan said he loved him. And for Obi-Wan, he knew he loved Anakin, he had just never said it to him before. The only time he did was when Anakin had Fallen and was dying. And he probably regretted that with every piece of himself during his exile on Tatooine. 

And then the cold came, the dark days - There are so many instances where Palpatine is connected with the cold, with darkness, with everything that is the opposite of the Jedi and, more importantly, of Obi-Wan. The darkness referred to here is the Dark Side, when it became overwhelming and Anakin fell.

When fear crept into my mind - Anakin’s already-intense fears of never being good enough or Obi-Wan not reciprocating Anakin’s love were intensified and heightened by Palpatine’s influence and him planting even more fear and doubt into Anakin’s head. This fear and this doubt in his friendship with Obi-Wan was ultimately one of the reasons he fell. Yes, it was his fear for Padme’s life that really did him in. Anakin was known as “The Hero With No Fear.” But there at the end, he became a person full of fear, and as we know: “Fear is the path to the dark side … fear leads to anger … anger leads to hate … hate leads to suffering.”

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye -Again, this is Anakin finally realizing that Obi-Wan did love him, that he was a good Master for him, and it was Anakin who hadn’t seen it, who had betrayed him. There is a quote from the book Lords of the Sith in which Vader acknowledges his betrayal of everyone he loved. Palpatine: “‘You were a traitor, were you not, Lord Vader?... To the Jedi. To Padme. To Obi-Wan. To all those you loved.’ Vader: Vader did not know the answer his Master wanted to hear, so he simply answered with the truth. ‘Yes.”’

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind- Talking about guilt, again. Without a doubt, Anakin would go back to where it all went wrong if he could. He wouldn’t turn, he’d save Padme, he’d do everything differently if he could.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile/ So good to me, so right- Obi-Wan was so good to him. Obviously in a platonic sense. But Obi-Wan was the best Master for Anakin, and you can’t change my mind. Even if they had a rough start and maybe Obi-Wan should have had some time to recover from his Master dying before he took on his Padawan of his own, but I digress. He did the best he could with Anakin, and was most likely far more patient and understanding than other Jedi Masters would have been. Of course at the time, Anakin did realize this and only resented Obi-Wan. Hindsight is 2020, and Anakin would have only realized after everything went down how good Obi-Wan was to him. 

And how you held me in your arms that September night/ The first time you ever saw me cry - This one doesn’t exactly fit because apparently Anakin and Obi-Wan never hug in canon and that is a crime (Filoni and Lucas I’m coming for you). But I am pointedly ignoring canon and choosing to believe that when things got really hard or bad, (after Satine died, maybe even after Ahsoka left the Order) they hugged. Maybe it was a sad hug, the kind where one of them breaks down in tears and the other just holds them as they cry. But I am confident that they have hugged, so this line applies to them. Fight me on it, I dare you. (I’m kidding but only partially) 

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right - After realizing how wrong he was in becoming Vader and how his relationship with Obi-Wan wasn’t one-sided, and especially after seeing the pure, selfless love of Luke, which ultimately brings him back to the Light, Anakin is no doubt thinking of the millions of ways he could’ve done better. He wants Obi-Wan to know how sorry he is and that, yes it took him all these years, but he’s learned his lesson. If he could do it all again, which he probably wants to, he would do it right this time. He swears to himself (and to Obi-Wan) that if he just gets this second chance, he’ll do everything right. 

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't- Anakin knows he can’t go back and fix everything, no matter how much he may want to. All he can do is ask, beg, even, for Obi-Wan’s forgiveness

So if the chain is on your door, I understand - the metaphorical chain isn’t on Obi-Wan’s door, of course, he’d always welcome Anakin back. He wanted nothing more than to see Anakin succeed as a Jedi and be happy, and so of course he’s ready to see Anakin again, to forgive him. But still, Anakin doubts Obi-Wan’s love and his own worth and braces himself to be rejected, even though Obi-Wan’s arms are open. (this might be niche but think: doctor who, “You betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything I ever stood for. Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?”)

And, that’s it! If you read this entire thing, Fiona and I love you from the bottom of our hearts. As you can tell, we feel a lot of things about this song, and hope you enjoyed our analysis! 

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 131 Thoughts

Eren what the fuck.

Like.

What in the actual fuck, my dude.

There are parts of this that make sense.

Then there are the parts that absolutely do not, and it’s all wrapped up in this chapter where, as previous chapter posts predicted, people are screaming and dying.

Since that’s pretty much the majority of the content, I guess we have the luxury of a short post that almost entirely focuses on Eren.

With added Annie and Armin. They can go at the start, I guess. They exist, they are cute if you’re into that, they’re also dumb and mopey if you’re into that, Paths make for a great radio, and just generally

WHAT THE FUCK, EREN.

Did I already talk about Rebellion? Is that a thing I did in these past few months? -checks- Damn it. Not that the well can’t be visited again, since it’s very obviously appropriate, but twice in two months starts to look like the laziness that is indeed threatening to take me.

-spins the wheel-

Okay then, let’s talk about Anakin Skywalker.

Cool dude. Rad kid. Born into slavery. Freed from slavery by a dude with magical plot magic who immediately dies. Inherits dude’s desire for him to follow the leanings of the religious sect responsible for plot magic. Has hormones and has a meltdown over having hormones, and also feelings, and proceeds to protect everything he loves so hard that it burns to the ground while someone he eventually throws into a pit laughs maniacally in the background.

It’s mainly that last part that is arguably relevant to today.

Anakin is terrified of losing his wife in childbirth. Instead of contacting a doctor, he decides that it’s best to rely on himself. Plus shady mentor. His fear turns into a longing for a power to destroy that fear, and the combination drives him to the Dark Side. When he starts demolishing the very things he wanted to protect, he digs in deeper. For twenty years, he kills, and kills, and kills, because he can’t admit he was wrong.

(Clone Wars is a good show, if anyone is interested. It fleshes the emotional weight of the script out, and makes the horror and tragedy stab you in the heart.)

I can’t say that I entirely hate this for Eren. I don’t particularly like how it’s been presented, but that might just be the part of me that looks at the “GENOCIDE IS THE ONLY OPTION” button lit up on his forehead and finds it so fundamentally disagreeable that I haven’t been looking at it even when the plot tells me that’s what it is.

Here’s the thing: Genocide is presented as a feasible course of action all throughout this series. From Zeke, from Marley, from Paradis; whoever’s pitch you want to listen to, a conclusion everyone always comes to is that it would be easier if all of these people causing problems would just die.

They can make that happen. They have the technology.

Marley is a cesspit. The moral cost means nothing to them.

Zeke is abused, traumatized, and molded into thinking death is a mercy.

Floch survives, and teaches himself that the evil he lives through needs to be repaid in full.

Kill, kill, kill. If something stands in your way, murder it.

This is a concept of horror to the characters who are establishing the moral center of the tale. They’ve killed people. They’ve fought to the death against people who would gladly see them die. The titans are their victimized kin, and all they can do for the greater good is put them down.

They’re tiny humans trapped in a cage, and they’re just trying to get out. Whenever they try, their jailers try to eat them. That is forever what Paradis is attempting, and whenever they do try to lessen the amount of violence in their tactics, they get fucked over by the plot. As much as the story can, it’s thrown the main Paradis cast into the light of being innocent victims who are just trying to defend themselves.

The whole series is a study in the damage genocide has caused.

Nothing excuses it.

There is no motive that justifies this scale of premeditated violence.

There is the fear that one day the people who belong to you will be victims, and the only way to stop them from being victims is to make victims of everyone else. Kill or be killed.

In self-defense.

Defending from an attack that might never come.

Genocide is not an option that has ever deserved a seat at the table.

Why don’t we just kill everyone off?

Why not erase everyone’s memories of it?

Why not continue to use this power to herd everyone into our vision of what the world should be like?

Why not say that we deserve life so much more than any other living creature on the planet?

The entire story tells us why.

From the very first chapter, we’re exposed to the violence and terror of an uncaring world devouring anyone unfortunate enough to be on the outskirts of what supposedly greater people have decided is most important. Eren’s entire home is destroyed because some children kick down a wall. The people in the core of those same walls are disturbed, but send out their lesser to be fed to the monsters so that they can continue living.

Karl Fritz locks everyone away on an island and tells them the world has ended.

Anyone who is too curious, or too interested in beginning a new world, is killed. They’re robbed of their memories or their life. The remaining Ackermans are alive because they were too far away from the true history of the world to actually know anything.

Marley, the whipping boy of the Eldian Empire, finds its escape through Karl’s mercy, and immediately mimics the way of life that has caused them so much pain. Titans continue to run rampant in the world, simply with different reins. They redefine what’s acceptable based on who’s pulling the trigger.

Every single major plot point comes back to the ruin that perpetrating genocide has conceived.

Nothing is fixed by saving Marley from Eldia. Marley chooses to renew the evil.

Nothing is fixed by Karl walking away from the world. He just picks on smaller targets.

Nothing is fixed by pretending this is a solution.

The series’ history is a cycle of people grabbing power and tormenting their enemies with it. It shows no sign of stopping. It takes Paradis a hundred years, but they go from a blank slate of a starting point to producing someone ready to destroy the world.

Nothing suggests that another hundred years won’t do the same.

We have seen this all before. The only difference is that Eren is trying to commit to a large enough scale that no one alive will have the kind of grudges that will produce this fuckery.

It is vile.

This is not a defensible course of action. Some things are simply wrong, and even without morality coming into play, we’ve spent years reading an object lesson in the consequences of this behavior.

This horror is where Eren comes from.

Eren is not special.

He is a normal human born into this world.

His actions are ones that any other person could duplicate.

Not easily, and not without a great deal of coincidence, but nothing about Eren makes this a choice that only he can make. His power is borrowed, and no matter how he dies, that death means there will be a next person in line.

He isn’t ending a fucking thing. He’s become a cog in the machine that broke him.

So that’s the starting point. Even if killing younglings did have a logical undercurrent, no. No, no, a million times no. Eren chooses this. Eren causes this. Eren picks genocide without anyone putting a gun to his head. Eren picks genocide when he has access to a power that could easily discourage anyone from attacking his home for years.

He chooses to murder people.

Because he’s afraid, and because he can.

Then we get to what I find infinitely more interesting:

Eren doesn’t want this.

In the present day, we have an Eren who no longer has a body, and what amounts to a hallucination of his younger self, dreaming of a world hidden away in a book. His physical self has its eyes closed, and his younger self looks more alive than Eren has in ages. He isn’t looking at the damage he causes, just the open sky.

In the past, we have Eren bawling apologies to a boy he meets once. We have an Eren who realizes that this world is one that has let him down, and that, completely outside protecting his home, is what makes him want it gone.

This doesn’t just happen.

Eren wants it to happen.

Eren looks at this world that wants him and everyone like him dead, and he wants it to be like the book. No mention of other people -- other people aren’t in the outside world anymore. Just beautiful scenery, and the freedom to enjoy it.

He can’t have that, and it hurts. He’s been through Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt. He’s lost friends and seen even more people die protecting him. He’s lost limbs and sleep and sanity to see a world beyond the walls.

It’s a world that wants nothing to do with him.

And Eren, who has rejected that line of thinking since he was a child, rejects the entire world.

He can’t dress it up.

Deep down, he doesn’t like the world he’s going to destroy.

He’s known for four years that he’s going to end countless lives.

He walks off Paradis’ ship knowing that.

But when he sees this world, he does want it gone.

Knowing what he’s going to do is one thing; seeing the beginning of a reason for it is what drives him to his knees. It isn’t some strange inevitability of the future. He’s the one who does this, and behind every bit of love for his friends and Paradis, there’s the knowledge that this world, where so many people live lives just like his, is one he’d liked better in a dream where none of them existed.

And that is where the plot thread loses me.

Not because any of this is something that I find particularly outlandish. There’s a plain, hysterical logic to it, and a small fraction of identifying with that logic has Eren in tears.

Eren does this.

There is no evidence of him wanting it.

He sees the shadow of want in himself, and he freaks out.

Eren of the present is dissociating so hard I don’t view his childhood hallucinations as a stable mind choosing something.

Eren of the past is continually horrified that this is going to happen.

If I had a tablet, this is where there would be a bad drawing of present Eren and past Eren, linked by an unstable line of red question marks.

I don’t have a tablet.

I do have Paint.

In the immortal words of an angry fictional nine-year-old, “If you don’t fight, we can’t win.”

In the immortal words of a very sad fictional nineteen-year-old, “I don’t know when in the future it will happen... But I... am going to kill every one of these people...”

Eren going full villain is a choice, I guess. It’s not a very interesting one. As previously stated, we know what happens in this world when people do a genocide. We also know what happens when the walls go marching. We are now watching a genocide as the walls go marching. There are no revelations here. There’s death and gloom.

I mean this as sincerely as I can: This, on its face, is boring.

Eren is just the latest person killing people for Reasons.

There is very little reason to be invested in that as a plot. As a character drama, there are tears to be shed and hearts to be torn asunder, but as a basic plot??? This has nothing in it.

I don’t personally believe we’ve come this far for nothing, so I apply my magnifying glass where I choose, and where I choose is the part where I believe this all slips:

Eren takes his visions as an inevitability.

He has the conversation with himself, counting out the lives. Paradis versus the world. In a simple game of numbers, the world should win, and he knows that.

Presenting our problem.

Eren can’t accept a future where Paradis, and Eldians, are sacrificed for the world. Paradis is his home, and he’s spent his life fighting for Eldians to be free, even if he doesn’t know them by that name for most of it. In the case of Paradis v World, Paradis wins out. It’s wrong and it’s terrible, and Zeke’s plan means less dead bodies, but he can’t let go of Paradis.

A binary is presented. Paradis can live, or the rest of the world can. Pick one.

Except that’s stupid.

Following this, Eren leans so far into that choice that he does what he can to manufacture an impossibility of any other results. He makes Paradis a priority. He makes Paradis an international concern, not simply a Marley one. He has the power to knock back any assault on the island they can make, but he still goes on offense.

Paradis dies

World dies

That is not the choice. It is the choice Eren locks himself into, but frankly, he doesn’t even try before he jumps at the genocide route.

As a story thing, whatever. Valid, I guess. Let the protagonist’s own misconceptions break him.

As an Eren thing, it falls short of working.

He’s clearly being torn apart by what he’s going to do.

He’s a protagonist who enters the story yelling about people never winning if they don’t enter the ring.

Eren sees a vision of him destroying the world, thinks on it, and effectively goes, “seems legit,” and cries himself to sleep feeling sad about it.

Eren.

You can have your characters fail. You can have them drop their principles one by one until there’s nothing left. You can have their character development be entirely negative. You do not have to have your hero be a Hero.

Eren is appalled by his own feelings, and walking around the world like a zombie. He sees himself ending the world, and plays it back over and over again, never questioning that this is exactly what he’s going to do.

But when he finally starts, there’s not even a trace of this conflict. His eyes light up at the amazing sight he believes is waiting for him. He spits his defiance at Zeke for even suggesting the sterilization plan. He’s still a zombie in every human interaction that happens with his flesh body, but he goes about his plan with an unconcerned ruthlessness that is disconnected from the humanity Eren has spent the whole story personifying.

Arguably, Sasha dying is the tipping point, and that’s where he fully commits, and blah blah blah stuff.

Only defiance, and not bending to anyone else’s will, is the key trait of the Attack Titan. It’s the key trait of Eren. To keep fighting well beyond sense.

This plan’s inception comes from Eren yielding to the inevitable.

He’s going to kill these people.

There is no choice to it, it’s simply what’s going to happen.

Eren has always had a choice. He might not like the options, or know what’s right, but he has always, always known that the decisions he makes are his.

The story is making the case that Eren buys into inevitability so completely that he denies himself freedom.

That isn’t uninteresting, but we don’t see that. We don’t see what convinces Eren that it’s no use fighting. He chooses to save a boy, and his memories of the boy don’t change. Big deal. That’s one kid in four years of choices. As a proof of concept, it’s weak, and it’s weaker still because Eren makes the choice to save him.

None of this was inevitable, but we approach Eren’s actions from the perspective of there being no way out. Maybe if we had even more flashbacks to him trying to change things, and a play-by-play of him slowly realizing that nothing he does changes what he sees --

But even then, if Eren doesn’t want to kill people, he’s allowed not to. He’s allowed to continue working with his friends. He could have told any of them, at any point, that this was an upcoming problem. He’s always trusted Armin’s mind.

Eren hides himself away with his problems and tells himself he can’t fight this.

Bullshit.

I’ve made this argument before, about Historia and Ymir:

If you’re going to have a character renege on a core of their personal identity so completely, you need to put in the legwork of showing how it happens. Otherwise there’s no reason to trust anything the story tells you, and the grand illusion falls to pieces.

The character work in this series has always been solid, even when everything down to the art hasn’t.

This doesn’t quite work.

There’s a compelling case. There’s a viewable logic that pretends to be believable.

The internal consistency is still off. Something’s wrong here, and if it turns out to be the character ball being dropped in the final inning... really, that’s just such a waste. Personal preference colors all of this, obviously, but if this is the whole truth of the matter, it’s boring.

“I still want to believe... that there’s still a world we don’t know about yet out there... past the walls.”

C’mon, Armin. Earn your fandom hatred. Be right one more time.

We’re not done yet.

[padme-parker]

Collide / Anakin Skywalker x Reader (Chapter 5)

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

Summary: Anakin realizes that he is falling for you, hard. He doesn’t want to hurt Padme, so instead, he distances himself from you.

Warnings: a couple of curse words, mentions of cheating, my writing

WC: 2.3k

A/N: Initially this was supposed to be ch 4.5 cause I started writing this when I was halfway thru with the original ch 5. but shit happens so here we are. p.s. I pulled this out of my ass so sorry if its bad.

read chapter 4 here

“took a minute, but I figured it out. The problem with me is you.” - Problem With You by Sabrina Claudio

You practically bolted out of the ship once Anakin landed it, not wanting to face the consequences of your actions. It was stupid really, pining after someone you couldn’t have. I shouldn’t have reciprocated his kiss. The thought of it alone was selfish, stealing away the husband and soon-to-be father from Padme. Your task was to save the universe, by any means necessary. Well, Fury did suggest that I get close to him. But he also said to not do anything to drastically change their timeline. But it just doesn’t make sense. How was I supposed to befriend him without changing the timeline? For all I know, my arrival here has already severely altered their timeline.

You went to your room while Obi wan and Yoda went to a meeting, Anakin was nowhere to be found. You sat yourself on the edge of your bed, hands roughly combing through your hair. All you wanted for Anakin was from him to be happy. Of course, you could accept the fact that maybe it wouldn’t have anything to do with you, if only that were true. In the short time you’ve been on Coruscant, you’ve noticed something change in him. But you didn’t know him, the real him. The only version of him that you knew was the one that existed on screen; The one who loved his wife so much, that he turned his back on the ones he loved the most to save her. Only to ultimately lead her to her demise.

The Anakin you were getting to know was different, in a good way, yet he was still so complicated. After training, you would eat together, whether it was in the cantina or at Dex’s, it was always the two of you. Some nights, he would come to your room to talk. And you let him. You let him rant about how unfair the council was, the pressure of being the chosen one- whatever he had to say, you listened to him. He did his best to express his emotions to you, but still got overwhelmed by them. At times, neither of you knew what to do. So you both sat in a comfortable silence, the mere presence of each other was enough for the both of you. Sometimes the two of you sat outside of the temple, watching the sunset as the nightlife emerged. Other times you would sit outside in the garden, meditating together. You’ve gotten to see the side of Anakin that no one really knew. Well besides Obi wan, Ahsoka, and Padme. You have yet to meet Padme., only hearing whispers of her from the other Jedi.

While you did train under Obi wan and Anakin, you rarely got to see Ahsoka. After coming to Coruscant, she became Plo Koon’s temporary padawan so that Anakin didn’t have to train the two of you at the same time. Although it wasn’t the same as completely leaving the Jedi Order, you could tell how much it affected Anakin. As you sat on your bed you couldn’t help the question that came to your mind. When it comes down to it, will I be the reason he falls?

-

Anakin is already in the room when you show up for training. There are no remarks or comebacks made as the two of you prep, just pure silence. Silence, was something that you hated. It was different from the sunset-watching silence you always shared. This was tense, heavy, and just straight up unbearable. Your movements were awkward as you took out your lightsaber and got into a fighting stance.

“So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?” You said, breaking the silence, not realizing you had just quoted Poe.

Anakin glares at you before responding, “There’s nothing to talk about.” He ignites his lightsaber and stalks towards you.

“Oh come on, don’t pretend like yesterday didn’t happen.” You replied, gripping your lightsaber in both hands as you ignited it.

“I’d rather not think about it. Now be quiet and focus.” He said, swinging his saber only for you to block his attack. You complied and trained with him in silence, save for the occasional grunt that you let out.

As the minutes passed, you grew more tired as Anakin’s actions became assertive. He began swinging his saber more aggressively, the pace so fast you almost couldn’t keep up. He was going to back you into the corner if he didn’t stop.

“Anakin, stop!” You pleaded. Your words seemed to have no effect on him as he continued, his eyebrows scrunching together as he knocked your saber out of your hand. He raises his lightsaber, ready to strike you down. With no weapon in hand and no way out, you use the force to push him back.

“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” You screamed at him once he was a good feet away from you.

Anakin wanted to tell you the truth. That loving you was his problem. That with each passing day, the feelings he had felt so many years for Padme, had nearly diminished. With your arrival, it felt like he had been reborn. He began to see life in a new light, maybe even cherished it more. And deep down, he knew that you were always meant to be his, and he was always meant to be yours. At night he would lie awake thinking of you, of what your lives could’ve been like together. Oh, how he would curse and scream at the stars for this twisted fate. But Anakin knew that he couldn’t be with you, no matter how much he wanted you.

He hated himself for being unfaithful to Padme, and in return he directed his internalized anger towards you, the source of his problems.

“You. Are. My. Problem.” He said, accusingly pointing his finger at you whilst stepping closer with each word he said.

“ME? I’m your problem?”

“Yes, you!.” He replied, pausing while trying to think of something to say. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it isn’t going to work. You’re trying to stray me away from my path. I will not indulge in your activities. I am loyal to the Jedi Order and my duties.” Anakin felt bad, he truly did. He didn’t want to lead you on, but it seemed like it was already too late.

“You're the one who kissed me!” How ironic, he’s only loyal to the Jedi, but apparently not to his wife.

“Because you seduced me!” He countered.

“I did no such thing.” You replied. “It wasn’t my fault that you saw me swinging my saber and got turned on. That’s on you Anakin. Also, if you have so many problems with training me, why don’t you ask the Council to swap you out for someone else?”

He opens his mouth, as if he’s going to reply, but it quickly shuts.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You pick up your saber and exit the training room.

Now alone, he lays on the floor, with his limbs sprawled out while mindlessly staring at the ceiling. He knows that he’s just ruined every chance, no matter how small or big, of being with you in the future. Anakin could only beg the makers that one day, some very distant day, or possibly in another life, that the two of you would’ve been together.

-

You waste no time calling Fury when you return to your room. The device takes a while trying to connect with FRIDAY back on Earth, but she alerts Fury, along with Tony and Peter, that they had an incoming call from you.

Three faces pop up onto the hologram, Peter was basically screaming at you. You quickly greeted him back before telling them what just happened, or well the shortened version of what happened.

“I fucked up.”

“What do you mean fucked up?” Tony asks.

“Okay, so Fury, you know how like you told me to get close to Anakin-- but not really that close. Just close enough so that he could y’know, slaughter his fellow Jedi and the younglings but not me. And then he would eventually become big bad Daddy- oops hehe, sorry I meant Darth. Darth Vader. And kill all of these people with his extremely cool but extremely dangerous weapon. But not close enough that it would alter their timeline. Which doesn’t really make sense if you think about it. Like how do I get close to him without getting close to him, y’know? Also how am I supposed to know where Thanos-'' Your rambling gets cut off by Fury.

“Get to the point.” He says.

“Right…. so…. like I said, I did something and I fucked up. He basically wants nothing to do with me now.” You replied.

“I don’t care. Do whatever you need to do to get back on his good side. Use one of those mind tricks you learned if you need to.”

“Those won’t work on him.” You sighed, your body hunched over as you tried to think of possible solutions.

“Then do what you need to, or else I’ll be forced to take you off the mission. I don’t want to repeat myself again” Fury hands the device to Tony, “I’ll give you some time to speak with her. But I expect a plan the next time you call.” He says before leaving the room.

“So, how’s life over there treating you, Star?” Tony asks. “What happened between you and.. what do you call him? Flyguy? No, umm-”

“Listen, I don’t really want to talk about it. But besides that, it’s been okay. Not really different from back home. I wake up, eat, train, eat, explore, eat again, then go to sleep. Basically the same routine. The food here is alright, nothing compared to what I was eating back at home. But I’m grateful that they're giving me food and shelter.” The rest of your night was filled with chatter and laughter, the previous events from the grueling day slowly drifting away from your mind.

-

It’s been two weeks since Anakin had confronted you, and almost nothing had changed. Well except for those couple of days where you thought he had taken up on your suggestion, only for him to show up for a day of training then leave again. The first day he was gone, you thought nothing of it. Only that he might’ve needed some space. But another day passed and there was still no contact from him. Of course you could’ve taken this issue up to the Jedi Council, but what were they going to do? Offer to switch out Anakin for a Jedi Master? No, you wouldn't allow that to happen. Instead you tried to reach out to him using the bond you two shared, only to find yourself blocked off from the connection.

Without Anakin by your side, it felt as though you became vulnerable to your emotions and the dark side. More specifically, you could feel someone lingering in your head. It certainly wasn’t Anakin. This person, the force around them was dark. They commanded respect, power, and fear. The day they intruded your head was the very day you began having nightmares.

Your body was sprawled on the ground, as if someone had pushed you back. The ground is hardened, it makes you let out a groan. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you noticed the two figures in the distance. You could only see them below their collarbones, their faces were blurred.

One of them wore a dark robe while the other was wearing ordinary civilian clothing. It seemed like the two of them were arguing, particularly, they were arguing about you.

“You will not take her from me!” The man in the robe declared.

“She was never yours.” The other man calmly replied, his hands held up showing he did not want to fight, hoping the robed man would comply. He doesn’t, instead he stretches out his hand, using the force to bring the man into his grasp. He turns around the civilian, so that they are both facing you, and forces him to his knees.

“If I can’t have her, then you can’t either.” It was like time began to slow as he said those words. You could hear yourself sharply intake air as the man takes out his saber. All life around you goes to a standstill as you see a red light illuminate your surroundings, a blade protruding from the man's lower stomach. The sound of your own blood pumping is loud, but not as loud as the gasps emitting from the wounded man.

“KAZ!” You screamed, calling out for the man. It was then you realized that this person wasn’t you. You certainly didn’t know anyone with that name. Or perhaps this was someone you had yet to meet.

The robed figure retracts his saber, Kaz’s body falling in front of him. If you acted quickly, you could retrieve his body and save him.

“You see, Kaz. My intention from the beginning was to kill you. However, I think I’d like to watch you suffer instead.” That voice, it sounded so familiar, yet you couldn’t place your finger on who it was.

“What do you mean?” Kaz uttered weakly.

The man gave no response, only a glance towards Kaz before he began making his way towards you.

“No, stay away from her!” He pleaded.

The glow of his red saber became more clear then closer he got to you. The last thing you see is his saber coming your way before everything fades to black.

That night, you woke up drenched in sweat and panting as if you had just ran a marathon. If there was one thing that you understood, it was the fact that the force didn’t want you here. Your destiny was supposed to be fulfilled on Earth. Only time could tell you the consequences for trying to interfere. But you didn’t care, you were going to do whatever you could to save your friends.

Read chapter 6 here

~~~~~~

tags are open :P

[soybeantree]

pairing: jedi!do kyungsoo x jedi!(reader) genre/warning: minor violence, angst word count: 1.5k description: it was the beginning of the great purge. a new meaning to the phrase ‘removal by force’. but most importantly the moment that would truly define them. a/n: november installment of our ‘trying to write a kyungsoo story for every month that he is gone’.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. You breathe in and breath out as the words, first spoken to you by Master Yoda, circle in your mind. You have no fear of the Separatists. There are those within the Republic who do. They fear the outcome of the divide; otherwise, why the war. 

Why the war? The question breaks through your meditation. You have begun to ask yourself this more and more as the years drag by. The Jedi are brokers of peace. Mediators sent when no resolution can be made. Now, you are a warrior, a dog of the Republic.

Anger leads to hate. You breathe in, redirecting your thoughts to your meditation. The force swirls around you, the energy of all living things. You reach for it and draw it towards yourself. A true Jedi is able to become one with the force and leave behind all emotions. Anger, hate, love.

The door behind you swooshes open, but you had already sensed his coming. “You should still be in bed.” You maintain your posture, legs folded, back straight, clasped hands covered by your cloak sleeves, but all for pretense. 

“My arm is injured, not my legs.” Kyungsoo says as he walks forward and lowers himself in front of you. 

You peek at him to find he is mirroring your posture, except for the arm which is bound in a thick 

tube. The smell of bacta wrinkles your nose. “How much longer do you have to wear that?”

“The medics think another day.” He raises the clunky apparatus and drops it with a thud. “It’s better than being submerged in a tank though or having the arm removed.”

“Anakin does well enough with a mechanical arm.” You tease.

“Anakin has been appointed to the Jedi Council.” His face darkens with the pronouncement. He must sense your shock, rippling through the force because he continues. “Clones are always vastly better informed than us, and they talk. Anakin was appointed to the Jedi Council upon Chancellor Palpatine’s request.”

“What?” Your hands break their clasp. You rest fists on your knees as you seethe. “It is not enough that he makes us his warriors. Now, he must insert his will into our Council.”

“Y/N.” He places his good hand on one of you fists. The force swells with his peace, and you breathe in. Anger leads to hate. 

“Did you only come to upset me? I am trying to focus before my mission.” This morning, you had received information that the Separatists had seized control of a mine deep in one of the planet’s canyons. The ore in these mines are essential for battle droid construction which meant you had to protect them.

“No.” His face closes as his gaze loses focus. He is tapping into the force, allowing it to show him things to come. Since your days as younglings, you have always bested him when it comes to the lightsaber and fighting or flying, but his connection with the force is deeper. “I sense a disturbance in the force. Something dark is coming.”

You laugh to ease the growing tension in your chest and fold your arms across your chest. “Kyungsoo, I’ve been fighting in these mines for the better part of a year. Just because you can’t make it out of a scrap intact,” you tap the bacta tube, “doesn’t mean I won’t. You worry too much.” Stretching muscles stiff from sitting too long, you stand up and offer a hand to Kyungsoo. The look he gives you chills your heart. 

The life of a Jedi is fraught with danger. Your teachers had reminded you of this every time you grew cocky during your training. You had accepted this truth, but staring into Kyungsoo’s eyes, you wonder why you chose such a life. You and Kyungsoo could be farmers on some distant planet untouched by this war. You would never have to see that look on his face or fight the fear crawling up your spine. Fear leads to anger.

“I promise I will return and without needing a bacta tube.” You grin, allowing only your confidence to suffuse into the force. He accepts your hand. Pulling him up leaves him standing a breath away from you. Before you can step back and release the influx of emotions his nearness brings, he leans his forehead against yours. For a moment, you stand in the far too intimate embrace and allow yourself to memorize it. The feel of his skin against yours, the warmth of his breath, the way the force swirls around you, connecting you. 

“May the force be with you.” And with that he steps back. 

You follow him out of the room. He goes left towards the medbay, and you go right to the hanger bay.

The mine is quiet. The silence deafening in the absence of the blaster fire. Battle droid shells litter the floor, steam rising from their fried circuits. Your lightsaber is still in hand as you reach with the force for any stragglers. Your clone troopers mill about around you, tending to the wounded and searching for the miners who hid during the confrontation. 

No Separatist soldiers linger, but the force eddies around you, filling you with unease. 

Kyungsoo’s words linger at the back of your mind. The battle is done though. You are victorious. You extinguish your lightsaber but keep it in hand as you walk towards the commander of your troopers. A comlink is in his hand.

“Commander Zen, tell base command that-” You start as you approach, but the force surges around you. The thrum of your lightsaber’s release comes moments before the ping of blaster fire. You deflect the attack from behind before diving behind one of the drills. “What are you doing?” 

When they had appointed you general of a battalion, you had scoffed at the idea. You had passed your Jedi Trials months before the war started, and they expected you to lead men into battle. On your first day of command, Zen had greeted you with the respect due a general and has stood beside you as a friend and mentor through every battle. These troopers have walked with you through every step of this war. “Zen?” You call, waiting, hoping. 

Blaster fire is your answer. In your moment of hesitation, they have surrounded you. The red rain speeds towards you on all sides. Too many for you to deflect. Death comes for you, ready to return you to the force.

Kyungsoo. The thought crystalizes. They will kill Kyungsoo too. The first shot hits. The pain courses through you, fueling your fury. You raise your lightsaber. The next you deflect and the next, but for each two you deflect one hits. Your body screams with the pain, but the force quiets it, offering you quiet in the storm. These men have made themselves your enemies, and they shall face the same fate as your enemies. A scream rips from your throat as you rush forward. Your blade is a blur of light as you dance across the room. One trooper falls, then another. The world is fire and fury, light by intermittent bursts of red. 

The acrid stench of burning flesh fills your lungs as the last shot fizzles to silence. Commander Zen lies at your feet. His battle scarred helmet stares up at you. You reach for it but pause. This dead man was your enemy, and your friend who may yet live needs you. Sheathing your lightsaber, you turn your back on the fallen troopers and head for your speeder.

The fight resumes when you reach base command. They shoot your speeder out from under you. Rolling onto your feet, you call on the force to speed you forward. Your lightsaber pierces the chest of the first trooper before he has time to raise his blaster. A swift twist sees another split in two. As more troops come more troops falls. Their blaster fire hits you, but the pain stopped back in the mines. 

The medbay doors stand before you. Troopers lie piled around them, but you pause in shoving them aside. The force will tell you if he’s still alive. It would have told you before you stepped foot onto the base. But hope strengthens where knowledge weakens. If he is dead, what then? The hum of your lightsaber draws your attention to the massacre at your feet. And if he is alive, what then? Hate leads to suffering.

“Y/N.” The voice comes from behind. You whirl, your lightsaber creating an arc around you. 

Kyungsoo stands, lightsaber at his waist and clothes intact and neat as they had been that morning. His gaze sweeps across the corpses.

“You’re alive.” You start towards him, but he stiffens. “Kyungsoo, I don’t know what happened, but they were going to kill you. My troopers tried to kill me in the mine. I had to save you.”

“But at what cost?” He whispers.

“Kyungsoo.”

“We need to go.” He walks past you, stepping over the bodies.

“Kyungsoo?” You turn and reach through the force to him, but a wall surrounds him.

“Not now. More troopers will be arriving. We need to regroup and figure out what’s going on.”

As you follow behind Kyungsoo down the carpet of corpses, you hear the words from this morning. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

[thatwitchrevan]

‘at every moment’

summary: au scenes where Anakin does something different and better, changing his path. basically a bunch of mini fix-it fics. mild language, some canonical character death, and some mild non-canonical violence.

-

Anakin takes Padmé’s hand and smiles at her. The smile is pained and somehow hollow, even though he’s usually too sincere for his own good, and she gets the sense that despite how much pain he’s in, he doesn’t fully realize how terrible she feels. “Padmé, listen to me,” he implores her, drawing closer. “I can overthrow the Emperor and we can rule together.” He touches her cheek, soft and loving, but she wants to recoil. She can’t stop seeing the younglings he’s killed. 

“It can be just like you want,” he promises her, and his voice is as sweet as ever, but she knows all his promises are empty.

“No.” She shakes her head, and she’s crying. She’s never been more afraid in her life - seeing everything else fall apart around her was one thing, but out of anyone she thought she at least knew him. “That’s not what I want. You have to know that.”

She shudders around a deep breath. She’s trying so hard to stay strong, to think of their future and not break down in this moment. “Come with me. Let’s get on the ship and run away. Let’s go have our baby in a safe place and just be together. We can worry about the Republic another day.”

It’s a compromise, and she hates compromise, but until now she didn’t realize just how desperately she needs this family.

Anakin is shaking his head; he looks as scared as she feels. “It’s too late, Padmé. I’ve done things I can’t fix. There’s no going back now.”

“No, we’re not going back. But we can get out of here. You have a choice, Ani. At every moment you have a choice.”

She pulls his hand against her stomach, where he can feel his child kicking wildly. “Do it for your child, Ani. They need you. I need you.”

With her eyes holding him steady, Anakin finally gives in. It breaks him, but he nods, crying now because he’s messed up and he doesn’t know if he can save her on his own. He’s lost, and all he has to guide him now is her voice. She leads him back to the ship.

-

Anakin watches Ahsoka walk away, but as she gets halfway to the steps he realizes he can’t just watch anymore. “Ahsoka!”

She stops and turns, but her eyes are hard and ready to fight as he runs to her. “You can’t stop me, Anakin.”

He reaches her and pulls her into his arms without hesitation. “I don’t want to stop you,” he says, and despite how tight he’s holding her she can hear in his voice that he means it. “I want to say goodbye.”

Ahsoka freezes, then hugs him back, sighing. “You’ll be alright without me.”

Anakin chuckles, a warm and familiar sound that causes her heart to clench again and almost changes her mind. “No, Snips, I really won’t. But you’ll be fine without me, and that’s what matters.” He pulls back, putting his hands on her shoulders and meeting her eyes with a soft, sincere smile. “You’re a better Jedi than any of us, and I’m so sorry we failed you.”

When Anakin sees her eyes fill for at least the third time, he hugs her again, but loosely this time, ready to let her go. “I love you, Ahsoka, and I’m so proud of you.”

She squeezes her eyes shut and buries her face in his chest, muttering ‘I love you, too’ against his robes. 

-

“You have a twin sister,” Vader hisses, his mask hiding his surprise. He thinks out loud, tries to provoke his son out of hiding, but in his mind he’s reeling at the idea of having a daughter, wondering if she looks like Padmé. “If you will not be turned, perhaps she will.”

And that angers Luke like nothing ever has. All the threats against his life, all the attempt to subjugate him, all the betrayals of his father - that simmers quietly beneath the surface, a rage fueled by sadness. But his anger over his sister explodes into a star. Now he’s not only fighting Vader. He’s finally trying to kill him.

It would have made Anakin Skywalker proud to know his children loved each other so deeply, so fiercely, and would guard each other with the most fiery anger. He should have been there to guard them himself, rather than the one hunting them.

If only Obi-Wan hadn’t kept them from him - no. No, he reminds himself, this was his fault. He has to live with it. 

But was it not his Master’s bidding that he attack his own son? He pauses, and Luke takes advantage of his hesitation, knocking him down and striking repeatedly, furiously. Anakin tries to block with his own lightsaber, but he's getting weaker, and Luke will still kill him. Perhaps he would deserve it.

His master laughs and makes his way down the stairs, coming to watch Vader die. Why should he give the bastard the satisfaction?

“Luke,” he cries, his brain not yet caught up with his heart on what he's doing.

He has to call out a second time before his son stops, tired and seething, and looks at him with a very familiar impatience. His eyes seem to be saying 'why should I listen to you now, when I’ve given you every chance?' But he says nothing. 

“Luke,” Anakin begs again. “Will you help me?”

Luke is momentarily confused, but he seems to understand what his father means. He nods, his jaw set firm. Quickly he turns, facing the Emperor instead of Vader, his lightsaber humming ominously. 

Vader forces himself to stand, his own lightsaber held in a defensive position, and they move toward the Emperor, who has realized now what they're doing and begins to laugh.

“Fools.”

-

Anakin's ears ring with the promise of power, the ability to prevent death. He could be sure Padmé wouldn't leave him - she could have the long, happy life she deserved and Anakin could finally get some fucking sleep.

But something's wrong, and he knows it. He respects Palpatine, admires him, but... The hungry look in the Chancellor's eye, the way he knows too much, exactly how to get Anakin's attention. It's all too deliberate.

Anakin's used to being controlled. Treated like an object, even. He'd thought Palpatine was one of the few who would encourage him to make his own choices, but in this moment at the opera he realizes it's a lie. He could go along with it, see what Palpatine can offer. Or he can refuse to be controlled.

Palpatine gives him a look that's meant to be reassuring, to say 'I know exactly what you need, and I can help you get it'.

But really, it's smug. It reminds Anakin of the day they'd met, what Palpatine had said to him that day when he'd become barely less of a slave. "We will watch your career with great interest."

Anakin is quiet for the rest of the performance, and then after he says goodnight to the Chancellor, he goes quietly to the Jedi Temple and meets with the Council to report on Palpatine.

-

Leia's eyes may as well be steel when she's looking at Tarkin. Vader thinks he's rarely seen a being with more hatred, more anger. She's dangerous, that's certain. And she's more use to them dead if she won't give up her fellow rebels.

Tarkin is insistent, though. The man is almost as stubborn as she is. He leans into her space, forcing her to back into Vader to get away. "I grow tired of asking, so this will be the last time. Where is your rebel base?"

Organa seems to break finally, looking out the viewport at calm, peaceful Alderaan. She's hardly more than a child, but as far as she knows the whole planet as well as her rebellion rest entirely on her shoulders.

"They're on Dantooine," she says, defeated. Tarkin nods, unable to disguise his smug triumph. "There, you see? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

He turns to the officers, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "You may fire when ready."

"What?" Whether it was hope or naivety that made the princess concede, the betrayal is palpable. Vader has been beyond caring for so long that even though to him, wasting an entire planet seems excessive, he's not about to protest. And yet there's something about Leia that cuts right to where his conscience used to be. Or maybe it's that he reminds her of someone he's forbidden himself to think about except when he's alone.

The weight of a world on her shoulders. The pain, the desperation to not let her people down.

He remembers a girl on Naboo who dressed like a servant but fought like a queen. Leia, though, is without recourse. She has no army, no bodyguards, no Jedi protectors, and she's all but dead.

Vader remembers a time he wanted to help that girl carrying the weight of a world. He wanted to save her. He steps forward, grabs Tarkin's arm instead of Leia's.

Tarkin looks at him like he's grown an extra head. "Vader, what are you doing?"

"Stop the attack." Vader looks at the officers, hoping the blankness of his mask is still imposing even in defiance of the Grand Moff. "Hold fire. Do not attack the planet."

Tarkin pulls away from him, glaring. "I am the one in power here. We will demonstrate the power of this station."

Vader looks at Leia. There is still so much anger in her eyes, but she's looking directly up into his helmet and Force, she really does remind him of Padmé. There's hope underneath that anger, fighting to the surface, waiting for a spark to ignite it. It surprises him to realize that he wants to give her that spark. 

He ignites his saber. This isn't a time for any more words so he merely acts, killing Tarkin and every other Imperial on deck in the space of a minute - enough time for someone to set off an alarm and Leia's hard look to melt into slack-jawed, wide eyed wonder as he deactivates his saber and takes her binders off. 

"Come with me," he says. "You're going home."

-

Shmi Skywalker lets out a final breath and goes limp in her son's arms. Anakin has never felt more lost in all his life.

Even through all these years away from her, he'd had the knowledge that his mother was out there somewhere, surviving as she always did. She had given him life, a name, and as much of a childhood as they could afford. She deserved so much better than dying in a desert. She deserved better than to be a slave in the first place.

She deserved a better son.

Anakin sobs as he holds her for an eternity. Only after he has no air left in his lungs and is simply too exhausted to cry does he start to move her. He lays her gently, reverently on the ground so he can stand and compose himself, think about what he's doing. He feels the burning in his heart, the anger. He wants to tear every being in this desert limb from limb, make it all pay for what's happened.

But even as his hand goes to his lightsaber, he knows there's only a few beings on this planet responsible for his mother's death, and killing any of them won't bring her back.

Anakin leaves his saber on his belt and does the very last thing he wants to do right now. He closes his eyes and he meditates.

The anger isn't going anywhere. To hells with what the Jedi say - it wouldn't be right if he wasn't angry. Nobody deserves his anger on their behalf more than Shmi. But if he kills everything he can find, it's going to change him in a way his mother wouldn't have wanted. Maybe the universe didn't care what she wanted or deserved, but Anakin does. 

He takes a deep breath. Then he picks his mother up and holds her very close to his chest.

There are a few Tuskens who try to stop him as he walks out of the camp. He reflects their blaster fire back at them and keeps walking, leaving a few burning corpses instead of a whole village. Maybe that will be enough to balance the scales without ruining his soul. Either way, he's bringing his mother home.

[sistersofthelightforce]

Facing Facts: The apprentice

This could alternatively be titled: 5 times Anakin tried to repair his relationship with Ahsoka and one time he knew it was fixed.

The first time Anakin sees her, it’s not a horrendous argument but it’s not a tearful reunion either.

In fact, it was barely even worth noting, if it hadn’t ripped his soul to shreds.

He had only been walking through the palace, hoping to find a place to get some spare parts for his next project with Luke.

Then he bumps into someone. A Togruta woman.

“Sorry ma’am, I wasn’t looking where I was- Ahsoka?”

She looks up at him and her eyes widen. Through the padawan bond he didn’t even think they still had, he feels panic rise through her.

Ahsoka claps her hands over her mouth. She turns to leave and he reaches out to her.

“Ahsoka wait-“ he began, but she has already run off.

He goes straight to Queen Karee.

“You didn’t tell me Ahsoka was here!” He says accusatorily, not even bothering to say hello as he bursts into her office, which he faced a surprising lack of opposition to.

“I told you there were people from your past here. Truthfully Skywalker I’m surprised you hadn’t worked it out.” Queen Karee doesn’t look up from her paperwork as she replies.

“You said I’d find them when the time was right? Was that the right time?!” Anakin demands, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

“No, no it wasn’t.” The Queen’s tone was almost sad.

“She was terrified! She was terrified-“ his voice catches as his own words hit him. “She was terrified of me.” Anakin slumps, feeling defeated.

Queen Karee looks up this time. “When she’s ready, the palace will take you to her quarters Skywalker, I promise you.”

The strange thing about Iith’s palace, disregarding its residents, is that it seemed to have multiple levels and no stairs. Doorways seemed to appear after a certain amount of walking, so it really was surprising that Anakin and Ahsoka had managed to bump into each other in the first place.

So when a door appears in front of Anakin almost a month later, he knocks on it hesitantly.

“Come in,” Ahsoka calls out. Anakin wonders if she knows it’s him or not.

When he enters, she seems to freeze again, but Queen Karee’s words ring in Anakin’s head. Ahsoka has to be ready to see him if he’s here.

“Hey Snips,” he says softly.

“Hey Skyguy.” Ahsoka gestures for him to sit on the other side of the couch from her. He hesitantly obeys.

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” he admits.

She looks at him gently. “I’m sure you didn’t mean to.”

Anakin tries to search for something to say. “So you’re one of those Sisters?”

“Yeah,” Ahsoka smirks. “One of the originals.”

“Oh,” he replies. “Cool.”

There is silence for a moment or two, and Anakin knows they will get nowhere avoiding things.

“I’m really sorry, Ahsoka, for everything. I’ve caused so much pain, to you, to people you care about, to people I care about. You have no idea how sorry I am,” he confesses.

Ahsoka makes a strangled noise and he looks over at her, alarmed.

“I missed you.” It’s somewhere between a whisper and a whimper, and Ahsoka sounds on the brink of tears.

Having absolutely no clue what to do, Anakin moves a little closer and puts an arm around her to try and comfort her. It’s strange, he never used to be super affectionate but ever since he was brought back, he’s much more into affection.

Ahsoka lets out a sob and wraps both her arms around him.

“You’re okay, Snips. I got you,” he murmurs gently.

Ahsoka hugs him tighter. “I tried so hard to hate you. After the start of the war, after Malachor, after the Death Star. But I never could. I tried so hard but I never could,” she confesses, still crying into his shoulder.

Anakin feels like he’s been given an honour he doesn’t deserve. “Thank you,” he says, feeling on the brink of tears himself.

After that, Anakin would spend time with Ahsoka as well. They’d talk or go on some escapade, and it would be fun.

On this particular day, Anakin has managed to beg the use of some training sabres of off Queen Karee, who was planning to use them to train younglings. When he explained to her it was for Ahsoka, she conceded.

Anakin bounds into Ahsoka’s quarters with a grin on his face. “Hey Snips, I got some training sabres of off the Queen you want to-“

There is someone else in Ahsoka’s living room and it is not someone he had ever expected to see again.

“Padmé?” He whispers.

“Ota.” Ahsoka doesn’t direct the word to him, but to Padmé, and he knows somehow that Ahsoka is asking Padmé to be calm.

Padmé gets up, gives Anakin a death stare and walks out of the room.

Anakin turns to Ahsoka. “Snips, tell me I’m not going crazy, tell me that really was her,” he implores.

“Yes, it was,” Ahsoka says gently.

“Does she- does she hate me?” He asks quietly, dreading the answer.

“I don’t know, Anakin. You spent a really long time trying to kill or bring pain to a lot of people she cares about. You spent a long time trying to kill her children. She’s not exactly thrilled with you,” Ahsoka admits.

And it is another thing that makes sense even though Anakin wishes it doesn’t.

“That word, that you said to her. I’ve heard it before but I don’t know what it means.” He feels like it’s important, though he doesn’t know why.

“Ota? It means Mother, or Mom in Boona.” Ahsoka looks down at the floor. He’s heard of the language before. It’s the main one spoken after Basic on quite a few different planets, both Naboo and Shilli being one of them. He also knows it’s spoken by a lot of Twi’leks as well. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised both Ahsoka and Padmé speak it.

“Oh? You call her Mom?” Anakin inquires, surprised by this revelation.

“Yeah, she pretty much adopted me a couple years into the war. She calls me her daughter and I call her Mom,” Ahsoka explains, a small smile on her face.

Anakin smiles at this. “That’s great, Snips, really great.”

He’s glad, somehow, that they found each other without him.

They do, eventually, get around to sparring. It becomes a weekly practise, and for a while it feels exactly like it used to.

Anakin should have known it wouldn’t last.

It’s a basic move, really. He swung at her and she parried, and her blade hit the side of his face.

Naturally, it stings a little, even if training sabres don’t leave any lasting damage. After all, that was what they were used for.

He groans and grabs the side of his face. Then he brings his blade up to the middle of his face and swings.

Ahsoka screams.

At first, Anakin thinks he’s just hit her, that she’ll laugh in a second and everything will be fine.

Then she falls to the ground, her sabre losing its light and she clutches her hands to her chest.

Anakin’s instincts kick in. He feels a wave of protectiveness, desperate to help her.

“Snips?” Anakin asks hesitantly. He moves towards her, tossing his sabre to the side to show he didn’t mean any harm.

When he gets close, she screams again. He immediately steps back, hands up.

It’s then he remembers Malachor. He remembers the blows struck and how he fought. He cringes at what he had said, wondering if then you will die was ringing through her head.

He guesses the fight must have been so similar that their sparring sent her back to that place.

“Oh Snips, I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

Ahsoka is still hyperventilating, and Anakin wants more than anything to reach out and hold her. But he knows that’s not going to help her right now.

“You’re alright. You’re safe,” he says softly, though he doesn’t know if his voice will make it better or worse. But he tries anyway, because this is Ahsoka and he’d be damned if he doesn’t at least try to help her.

When she’s calm enough to stand, Anakin takes her back to her quarters. He’s somehow not surprised to see Padmé there. She moves quickly, taking Ahsoka into her arms and soothing her.

Padmé gives him such a glare that if looks could kill, he’d be dead again.

They don’t spar again.

When Queen Karee trusts him enough to send him on missions, he discovers that he will be going on one with Ahsoka.

It’s supposed to be a routine mission, stopping some smugglers from getting a shipment of slaves.

It hits a little close to home for him, but he feels like that’s why Queen Karee chose him. He knows now that it would hit close to home for her too.

It goes smoothly, until they discover quite how many smugglers are on board and quite how many blasters they have.

Anakin and Ahsoka are cornered, and while Ahsoka is desperately trying to use the force to find a way out of it, someone aims a blaster straight at her chest.

He knows she probably could deflect it, but she is so distracted that he doesn’t know if she would notice it.

He’s trying to subtly get her attention when the smuggler fires.

There is that wave of protective love once more, and Anakin puts himself between the bullet and Ahsoka.

It hits him right in the chest of course, and he knows he’s dying, but he would prefer it be him than his kid.

The thought surprises him less than he thought it would. He knew that wave of protective love was the same he felt for Luke, and for Leia, even though she hated him. He’d die for them without any hesitation, and so, it seems, he would for Ahsoka.

It makes sense, really. He had always had that love for her. He just hadn’t realised it wasn’t just normal “master-apprentice the master wants her to do well” kind of fondness.

He almost laughs that it took him twenty four years and having biological children to figure that out.

Ahsoka sees him on the ground, and there is a very big flash before all the blasters seem to stop.

Anakin decides not to wonder what Ahsoka has done to them. What matters is the smugglers can’t get the shipment.

He sees her face, which looks more angry than scared or sad. But he sees a fierceness in there too.

It’s only black for a few moments before he’s up and breathing again.

And suddenly what Queen Karee said makes sense. She hadn’t meant Luke or Leia, she had meant Ahsoka. Ahsoka was the family that had helped bring him back, that had wanted him back to life.

It appears the Queen was much more perceptive than him. This was why she hadn’t been worried when Ahsoka reacted so badly the first time she saw him. Because the Queen knew Ahsoka still wanted to be in his life, still wanted him around.

Though now, she looked furious.

“Why did you do that?” Ahsoka demands. “It would have gone right through me. I was almost done finding a solution anyway!”

“He had a blaster aimed at your chest! You would have been killed and then where would we be?!” Anakin retorts, half hurt, half confused.

Ahsoka gives him a very tired look, and walks straight through the wall and back again. “No. I wouldn’t have.”

“It was the right thing to do. I’m not just going to leave you to die!” He objects.

“You seemed perfectly content to do that on Malachor!” Ahsoka retorts and Anakin’s anger dissipates.

“I knew you’d find your way out. I knew you’d be fine.” He can’t look at her as he says it, and it is then he realises that all the smugglers have turned to stone. Comforting.

“I almost wasn’t,” Ahsoka says softly. “There was so much dark energy that I couldn’t teleport. My powers are based in the light, and that place was made of darkness. I only escaped because a member of a rebel cell I knew rescued me through a time portal.”

“I didn’t know that. I never could have killed you, Ahsoka,” Anakin tells her. It was the truth. He could never.

Ahsoka looks up at him and his heart sinks. “Not if you knew it was me, you couldn’t. But truthfully, Anakin, you’ve killed me countless times, while I was disguised. The Sisters known to be dead or known to you had to fight with their shape changed. It’s not that hard, but I couldn’t do it on Malachor.” Her image changes about twenty times before going back to herself and Anakin remembers killing the majority of them.

“Ahsoka-“ All the words he could possibly say would mean nothing and he knows it.

“I could never kill you, that was my downfall. I’d get right to the point where someone would have to strike the killing blow and I couldn’t do it. So you’d do it instead,” Ahsoka confesses.

“Ahsoka, I didn’t know-“ he began, but he knew it was no excuse.

“I know you didn’t.” She looks up at the ceiling and he sees tears in her eyes. “You know, I always hoped it would be me that brought you back to the light, that you’d chose me over Palpatine. But I guess it makes sense that it was your kid who brought you back, your son.”

He wants to tell her that she has always been a daughter to him, that he had realised it too late, that he had to have biological kids before he realised that he felt the exact same way about Ahsoka.

But this isn’t the time to tell her that, so he tells her a different truth. “You almost did.”

She looks up at him sharply. “What?”

“If it wasn’t for the influence of the dark side in that temple, I probably would have gone with you. If I wasn’t selfish and a coward, wanting the power of the dark side and not wanting to face the consequences of my actions, I would have gone with you. I very nearly did,” he confesses.

Ahsoka looks at him and this time her smile is sad. “But you didn’t.”

“I know,” Anakin says. “I’m sorry.”

She nods. “I know you are, Anakin, I know you are.”

They don’t talk about their trauma very much. They know they both have their issues and their triggers from the war.

So when Anakin walks into Ahsoka’s quarters and she’s curled up into a ball on the balcony, naturally he’s worried.

He walks up behind her, not trying to startle her too badly. “Hey Snips,” he says softly. “What’s up?”

She shook her head. “It’s gone. It’s all gone.”

“What’s gone?” He asks gently.

“I heard a noise, a bang and I can’t turn around, I can’t open my eyes, because if I do it’s all going to be gone.” Ahsoka takes a shuddering breath.

Anakin turns around and sees a pile of pots and pans on the floor in the kitchen. He assumes they must have fallen down and made an almighty crash. He doesn’t blame her for getting upset.

“It’s alright Ahsoka, look, it’s all still here.” He tries to grab her shoulder gently and pull her around but she resists so much that he leaves her there.

“No, no, no, it’s all gone.” Ahsoka’s eyes are squeezed shut and her head is pressed against the balcony fence.

“It’s not gone Ahsoka. It’s all still there, I promise you,” Anakin reassured her gently.

He tries to remember what Padmé did to comfort her. He runs his hands gently over her shoulders and her back, and pulls her close.

Ahsoka lets out a sob. “It’s gone, it’s all gone and it’s going to be so awful to try and fix everything. There’s going to be bits of people everywhere and it’s going to be horrible.” She presses her head against his chest, eyes still firmly shut.

“It’s okay Ahsoka, you’re here, you’re safe. It’s all still here. It was just some pots and pans. There was no bomb,” Anakin tells her gently but firmly.

She opens her eyes, looking up at him. “It’s all still here?”

“Look for yourself,” he says, and she does. When she sees that everything is fine, she starts crying again.

“It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe,” he murmurs to her over and over again.

“I’m on Iith, I’m safe. I’m on Iith with my mom,” Ahsoka looks up tentatively at him. “And my dad?”

His heart melts, and he smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pulling her up against him even tighter. “Yeah kiddo, yeah you are.”

[dalekofchaos]

The Luke Skywalker that was wasted and the Luke fans deserved.

For the last two years I have shown my displeasure with how Luke Skywalker and I still hate it.  Let’s talk why I hate it and why I think it could have been better

What the hell was with Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi?

Why did Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy depict him as a grumpy, pathetic hermit and a weak failure? Don't give me that crap about 'b-b-b-b-but he did a Force Projection and that's hard'. You can't shit on a character for 99% of the movie and consider his depiction as worthy because he did something useful for the remaining 1%.

Lucasfilm and associates prior to Disney's acquisition of the franchise spent 40 YEARS building the character of Luke Skywalker through the movies, comics and novels. The Star Wars fandom has spent 40 YEARS delving into the lore of the Star Wars universe and its characters. Why would Rian and Kathleen go in the opposite direction with his character? They went as far as making him a depressed, hopeless loser when the very essence of his being is hope. "How did the most optimistic, hopeful character in the galaxy turn into this hermit? ... A Jedi is optimistic, a Jedi has tenacity, he never gives up" - A quote from Luke Skywalker himself: Mark Hamill. When Luke Skywalker himself voices serious concern about the depiction of Luke Skywalker, Rian and Kathleen should have immediately started over.

The annihilation of Luke Skywalker's character was intentional. It's preposterous to suggest that they accidentally ruined one of cinemas greatest hero's. This was a planned character assassination.

Why was Mark Hamill exempt from the marketing of The Force Awakens and forced to stand on a mountain with no lines?

Why was Luke given nothing for The Force Awakens and anytime Mark went to JJ with his great ideas for Luke, JJ just smiled and patted him on the back just to shut him up?

Why did Luke toss the Lightsaber? The Lightsaber of his father, the lightsaber that Obi-Wan gave to him, and the Lightsaber he lost on Bespin after losing his hand to Vader. Such an emotional connection to Luke, he casually tosses it in such a stupid, cold and unemotional matter. Why not allow Luke an emotional reaction to holding this particular lightsaber again after all these years? Why is a sight gag preferable in this situation? Even if Luke being a bitter, detached old man is essential to TLJ, that’s still no reason not to pay even the slightest respect to everything that lightsaber represents from the original trilogy.

Why is Luke not allowed to show emotion, grief or empathy for the death of Han Solo? His best friend, his brother, Leia’s love and the father of his nephew?

Why does Luke not care that his sister’s life and The Resistance is in danger? Why was he willing to abandon his sister in her time of need?

Why does Luke and Chewie never have a moment of forgiveness and reconciliation?

Why was Luke made to fail as a Jedi Master? Luke should have changed the Jedi for the better as he did in Legends. Luke did not negate his emotions, but found a synthesis between both. Luke definitely showed that selfless love and compassion don’t lead to the dark side. Anakin is the Last Jedi of the old order, not Luke. Luke became the first of the New Jedi realizing that attachment made him stronger not weaker. For the new Jedi were attached to the entire universe through the Force. This is why Luke reformed the Jedi for the better.

Why was Han and Leia made to fail as parents and leaders in the NR and Resistance? Why were Luke, Han and Leia’s achievements and victories made invalid?

Why was it necessary to show Luke drink from a giant alien tit? Oh yes, we can show that, but we can’t show Luke mourn for the loss of his best friend 😒

Why did Luke not teach Rey ANYTHING? He did not impart wisdom to Rey at all in the entire movie. They did not have a great master/apprentice relationship, despite it being advertised that their relationship was the beating heart of the movie! That was a giant lie and false advertisement!

Why does Luke give up on the Jedi. Jedi do not give up. You might say that Yoda and Obi-Wan also gave up. But for those two, the Sith took over the galaxy, they had to go into hiding to protect and guide Luke and Leia. Obi-Wan wanted to save Leia and guide Luke. Yoda always wanted to train Leia as a Jedi and bring Anakin back to the light. He was reluctant to train Luke but he still did his duty as a Jedi Master. They did not just give up and wanted to die and they did not betray their characters at all.

Why would Luke Skywalker even think of killing his nephew in his sleep? Why would he even think of igniting the Lightsaber? Luke Skywalker would not even think of trying to kill his nephew in his sleep. Luke decided the Jedi and Sith were both wrong and believed that his father was still good and he was right in saving him. He would try to talk to Ben and try to pull him back to the light. His sister brought Ben there for protection and guidance. Even if that did fail, you did not need to make Luke attempt to murder him. You did not need to make Luke, Leia and Han at fault for Kylo Ren. Kylo is a grown ass man, he is responsible for his own actions. Kylo was going to murder the Jedi and younglings regardless, he already fell to the dark side. No one is responsible for Kylo’s actions but Kylo Ren.

Why does Luke just give up? Luke Skywalker is a beacon of hope and optimism and love against all odds, and the fact that that was twisted into being depicted as some foolish youth naivety, and that the only way to make him “human” was to retract all that and make him a bitter, jaded man is so fucking disgusting. Even more disgusting is in TLJ novelization had him dreaming of never leaving Tatooine and having him live under the Empire’s dominance. He does not even care that his sister’s life and the Resistance she is leading is in danger. He doesn’t connect with Rey on any meaningful level, doesn’t impart wisdom or knowledge, and never reasserts himself as the powerful Jedi he once was. A brief physical duel against Rey ends with her as the undisputed victor, completely killing his deserved mythos and her potential character arc in one fell swoop. It’s clear in that moment that he has nothing to teach her, and nothing to contribute to the overall narrative. The boundless potential that seemed poised to explode at the end of The Force Awakens fizzles here but never ignites.  And without any training at all, Rey defeats Luke Skywalker and Luke acts all cowardly and begs her to leave. He does buy The Resistance time and saves his sister, but it was ultimately pointless. He wasn’t even there and he dies pointlessly. What we got was not Luke Skywalker. Luke Skywalker is hope and optimism. Luke Skywalker is showing that no matter what, compassion, faith and love will always prevail. Luke is the hero that inspired an entire generations to aspire to be better, aspire to be heroes. Luke is what we wanted to see and what we got was not Luke Skywalker. Luke is someone who thought Doctor Aphra was a good person, she proves him wrong but he still had that hope for her. Luke believed that Darth Vader of all people still had good in him and was willing to die and he was able to reach his father. In Battlefront II’s Story, Luke saves Del Meeko because he asked and he offered Del a better life, a choice. Inferno Squad has committed atrocities in the name of the Empire, yet Luke still gave Del Meeko a chance. Canon Luke Skywalker is a kind hearted hero who will never run from a fight or knowingly leave a loved one in danger and will even save his enemy. This is Luke Skywalker. Luke is compassionate, adores his family, would never leave them. The Luke Skywalker I knew would never even think about killing his nephew in his sleep when there is always another way. Luke believes in the light and was willing to die to save his father. Darth Vader committed atrocities for decades, Luke still believed there was good in him. He would never give up on his family nor would he even consider killing his own nephew in his sleep just because he sensed darkness there. He would never abandon his sister at death’s door when she needed him most. The Hero’s Journey that he was following was ignored completely and he just gave up and wanted to die. And he dies instead of reuniting with Leia properly. Mark Hamill wanted Luke to live until Episode IX where he would pass on what he learned to Rey. No big battle with Snoke, no passing on, instead Luke dies and all we’re getting is force ghost Luke. Luke Skywalker was a hero to an entire generation.  Luke was the true heart of Star Wars. His was the journey we followed from idealistic farm boy dreaming of adventure, to reluctant warrior, and finally to savior of the entire galaxy. The original trilogy built him up, and The Last Jedi finally broke him down. I for one mourn my hero’s passing. 

Why is Yoda the one to convince Luke to return? It should have been Anakin

Why does Luke not appear for real and have a real genuine moment with Leia? The final moment between Luke and Leia was ultimately pointless when you realize Luke wasn’t even there, it was just a projection?

Why did Luke not have a worthy final showdown and showing his power as a Jedi Master instead of disappearing and not being anything more than a distraction? Why did he die without passing anything on to the next generation?

These were supposed to be, or should have been completely replaced with extremely powerful moments with emotional weight. These moments should have been mandatory. Yet the creators didn't deliver.

THE LUKE SKYWALKER THAT WE DESERVED

What a missed opportunity. I mean, look at this artwork. There's such potential for greatness and compare that to the steaming pile of shit Rian Johnson / Kathleen Kennedy served in The Last Jedi.

What we should have got to see of Luke in the Sequel Trilogy

First and foremost, the same Luke Skywalker who actually exists in the Star Wars universe.

His Jedi Academy and respectful showcase of Ancient Jedi artefacts.

A mention of a close relationship of his students and most importantly to Ben and how Snoke turned him against Luke and the Jedi

Flashbacks to training his own Ben and his padawans and scenes of Luke training Rey

Reuniting with Han, or at least mourning his death.

Have Luke tell Rey he left the map behind so Leia can find him when the time is right, he did not give up, but he realized Leia sent him someone he can train and give guidance to. Luke and Rey indeed are the beating heart of this story

Lifting his old X-Wing out of the water and flying to the Supremacy to face Snoke and his nephew and to save Leia.

Luke and Rey together fight the Praetorian Guards. Luke faces Snoke, while Rey faces Kylo. Luke kills Snoke, while Kylo wins the fiight against Rey and cuts her hand off

Physically appearing, a beautiful reunion with Leia that has meaning with Luke actually being there

A true moment and showdown against The First Order and Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren orders every ship to fire on Luke. All the AT-M6’s all firing but to everyone’s surprise, all blasts have no effect via protection of the force. Luke wipes the salt off his robes and with a simple wave of his hand, brings the walkers, transports and Kylo’s shuttle down, one by one.  Kylo descends from his crushed shuttle, throwing a tantrum and preparing preparing to kill his uncle. We have a real lightsaber battle between Luke and Kylo. Luke has his green lightsaber. Their blades clash. The battle is emotional and raw. Luke is there. The dialogue is emotional and impactful. Despite all that his nephew has done, Luke asks him to return. Kylo refuses, he embraces who he is and that he is the new Vader. Luke will retort “oh Ben, you are no Vader.” Luke is toying with Kylo, similar to how Vader toyed with him on Bespin. Luke and Kylo’s exchange remains the same. “I failed you Ben, I’m sorry.” “I’m sure you are! The Resistance is dead. The war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi.” “Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.” Kylo will lunge at Luke with all his anger with the intention to kill his uncle, but luke dodges and cuts Kylo’s hand off.  Luke gives his “see you around kid” but Luke does not die, he leaves to board his X-Wing. Leaving the new Supreme Leader and The First Order a mess

Luke passes on what he knows to the next generation. Hope has returned. Rey has given Luke’s faith and hope back. The Rebellion is alive. Luke will not be the Last Jedi. Brother and sister reunited and the Resistance stronger for it. Master and apprentice together once more. Smiles and tears and happy to see each other again. Rey, Luke and Leia together. Both siblings holding their hands together on Rey’s hand. Telling her “We have everything we need. It ends how it begins With Rey grabbing the Lightsaber Rey extended to Luke. Tears in Rey’s eyes. The Millennium Falcon and Luke’s X-wing take off side by side into into lightspeed.

The next movie would be about Luke training and preparing the next generation of Jedi. Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose and Jannah, the new Jedi, The Skywalkers. As they stand to face Kylo, Palpatine and The First Order. Luke will sacrifice himself to give his students a chance to destroy The Emperor once and for all

The thing that perplexes me is that both the casual moviegoers and hardcore fans would have loved a depiction of Luke more akin to Legends. Yet Disney chose a depiction of Luke which casuals are indifferent to and the hardcore fans absolutely fucking hate. Why? Why not show the character which majority would love? There's nothing to hate about a powerful and wise legendary hero, while there's everything to hate about some broken hermit that gave up on his family and friends and doing what’s right who reflects nothing of what we've been lead to believe about his character by the creators of Star Wars itself for 40 years.

What a waste of potential. What a slap in the face to George Lucas, Luke Skywalker and the entire SW legacy. I cannot believe the sheer amount of disrespect shown by Disney, Lucasfilm, Kathleen Kennedy, JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson. Luke deserved better.

Mark Hamill tried to warn us

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll. 

Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy. 

Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird. 

The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess. 

“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut? 

Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted. 

Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative? 

Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;) 

actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back. 

 I love just all the traffic flying by the window

YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me. 

Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff. 

That elevator would be terrifying. 

Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him. 

Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can  get my fuck on!”

ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?

“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*

Anakins a little bitch

I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things. 

She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep. 

Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam. 

Obiwan is so sassy

Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme. 

Those worm things are naasty

Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there. 

Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man. 

Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid. 

Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings. 

Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga. 

I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC. 

 Amazing catch Obi. 

So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo? 

A changeling, she really is a custom character. 

Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek. 

What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it

I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family. 

She didnt even change.. so much for changeling. 

....she did when she died i take it back. 

Damn the background Jedi are ugly. 

I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin. 

Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now. 

Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.

I like Padme’s dress. 

Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep. 

Omfg whats that rape face. 

Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme. 

Poncho! Cal approves. 

WOO ITS DEX!

Jawa Juice? Ew.

Wtf is the Rishi maze?

Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why? 

Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly. 

She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady. 

“No droids” says the droid to the other droid. 

So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings. 

Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader. 

Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy. 

They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting. 

I love the Jedi fighter look. 

HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO 

THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1.. 

.... some bullshit. 

I should really look into Sifo Dyas

And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars... 

Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind. 

I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING

Anakin you creep

Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far. 

The Camino people are pretty chill. 

That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin 

Omfg the pear, fuck off. 

Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up. 

Has Padme had an outfit change again?

She’s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right. 

Her make up is a bit.. much

Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense. 

It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice. 

Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous 

I like that the droid said okey dokey. 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO

YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE

I love how Watto is happy to see Ani. 

Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with. 

Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars. 

Seismic charges have such good sound design. 

Thats one hell of a missile. 

Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this. 

Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks. 

Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son. 

Is that general grevious’ voice? 

What the fuck are these aliens

Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms. 

Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom. 

You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see.. 

Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope. 

Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick. 

Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy. 

Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge. 

So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting. 

Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look. 

And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po

C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme. 

The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good

Okay then suddenly she loves him.

Also bye bye lightsaber

Genosians are pretty gross

In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason

I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up. 

Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.

The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed? 

Droidekas are still cool as fuck. 

Suddenly Jedi. 

The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.

Well.. Jango lost his head. 

The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.

Obiwan is an icon. 

Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered. 

Woo clones!

“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit. 

Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit. 

I like Dooku’s bike. 

Anakin you dumb fuck. 

I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird. 

Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers. 

Jedi flips all over the place woop. 

As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell. 

I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started. 

Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband. 

[princesssarcastia]

Let the past die? I think not

Almost a year ago, I posted a little plot bunny about Rey, Luke, and Force visions.  It was hella weird and kinda stream-of-consciousness style, which I don’t usually like? I heard that line from Kylo Ren, “Let the past die; kill it, if you have to,” in the trailer for Last Jedi and basically thought wow, fuck you, and then wrote a story specifically about the force also saying fuck you kylo ren, the past will never die. 

And then that little plot bunny grew legs! This time with more original thought from me.  So, in honor of the new trailer, part two of force visions: in which Rey thinks about Luke, figures out what she wants, and gets a teacher...sort of. Some spoilers in the tags.

Rey is used to being alone; she’d been alone all her life before BB-8 came to Jakku.  That doesn’t mean loneliness doesn’t ache inside of her, make her long for companionship, comradery, to be part of a larger whole. A family.

The only time it ever eased was when she had been with Finn–or Poe, in the brief time between Starkiller and here.  Finding Luke had given her hope she could ease it again, with someone else like her. Echoes make their way to her through hernotherother, telling her the feeling isn’t wrong, just misplaced.  

She knows Luke is at peace here; not happy, no, but the quiet solitude soothes his restless mind. Her presence does not.  It reminds him of burning, the New Jedi temple is burning, bodies scattered across the floors– the clone troopers advance through the temple, slaughtering the sick and the weak and the young, the only ones who remain, while their commander marches to the tallest spire and finds–

The memoryvision cuts across her mind, shattering what little peace she’d earned in trying to meditate.  It keeps happening: flashes of the past being drawn out of the deepest reaches of her memory, memory that isn’t hers yet is, because everything is hers, now.

Sometimes it’s her own words, or Luke’s.  Her thoughts; his thoughts.  Once she touched the R2-D2’s dome and the resulting wash of memoryvisionlovelosspainis enough to bring her to her knees. Every time it happens, they settle into her mind, and it feels right, like fixing the wiring on her speeder; like pulling parts from the starship wreck in the desert.  Finding something worthy of keeping in the devastation of the past.

She just wishes she weren’t drowning in the emotions tied to them.

--

Rey seethes and grows to hate Kylo Ren more every day she stays here.  For Finn, who still hasn’t woken up (she’ll know when she wakes up; and this certainty in herself shakes and amazes her), and for the damaged man who is supposed to be her teacher.

There are memoryvisions in her head of a boy, one who was born from pain and darkness and love and lived with his heart filled with the lattermost.  He loved his father despite all that he’d done; he loved his sister from the moment he met her; he loved the galaxy, he loved his students; he loved Ben, his nephew.  It was the last that had broken him, in a way that pulled at her mind until–

the fumes from the magma river swirl thickly through the air, but this isn’t what he’s choking on.  Darkness lies burning on the shore, and his soul is tearing itself apart. You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you.  Even then, though, the Temple hung ruined in his mind, and so he turned away; he was not feeling merciful–

Kylo Ren betrayed someone who loved him so deeply in pursuit of a false idol, of power, and once again the galaxy was thrown is darkness because of it.  Luke, the last Jedi in existence, allowed his grief to swallow him up and fled into exile like his masters before him.  He allowed his fear to smother him and refused to teach her any more.

Sometimes, she could do what she had done on Starkiller Base: close her eyes, allow the call of the Force to wind through her, and open them again armed with knowledge and skills she hadn’t had before. But it wasn’t enough.  She needed a teacher.  A real one, not the corruption Kylo Ren offered or the hesitant half-truths that were all Luke could give her.

The more frustrated she became, the more the center of the island called to her.  An ancient Jedi temple’s ruins lay at its core, uncorrupted by anything but time.  Still sacred and hallowed.

Luke turns away from her, speaking of his own fear and despair at her power.  It isn’t the first time, but for a brief moment Rey’s chest tightens and her fists clench and it’s hard to breathe.  This isn’t what she wanted.  

So, she closes her eyes for a moment, reaching out with the Force (one of the only things Luke was willing to teach her) for what she does want.  She isn’t exactly sure what that is, but–

The ruins call to her, waves of tranquility and history and power; come, come and see; find what you seek.

Rey opens her eyes and starts towards them, leaving Luke standing in her wake.

Scavenging wreck after wreck in the desert left Rey with a keen sense of space.  The old Star Destroyers were huge, gaping maws under the hot sun, easy to get lost in if you couldn’t sense their borders, how big they were on the inside.  But the cavern she was in now…

Rey had watched this island appear in the viewport of the Falcon; she’s been training here for weeks. She should know this place by now, know its edges and size.  And yet it seems–impossible.  Too big for the rock that contains it.

Sunlight filters in from above, a hole she hasn’t found from the other side yet.  Looking around here makes shivers ripple through her shoulders, makes something inside of her always been there then I was there has been an awakeningawake hum contentedly.

Strands of a massive stone carving stream from the center of the far wall of this place, like waves of solar energy from a sun.  Something about the pattern is captivating, hypnotic.  Tranquility in disorder, or– harmony.  Harmony from chaos.

There is no clear path to the stone plateau, so Rey makes her own.  Her fingers find holds in the rock, and where there are none the Force nudges her, surrounds usguides her. Power leaks into her limbs, letting her push further than should be possible, with more strength and balance than she knows she has, to the next hold.

When she finally reaches it, the sunlight has changed.  Everything in the chamber glows with it, and her breathing echoes across and then back to her.

A collection of flimsiplast lies just off-center, bound together in a way that Rey knows is ancient. She crouches down next to it, her hand reaching out to brush against the symbol on the cover.  Golden, with lines so intrinsically familiar to her it aches, feels like the comradery and family she seeks.  

The Balance, the Force whispers to her with her own voice, and Rey closes her eyes.  Her legs settle comfortably underneath her of their own accord, until she’s kneeling in front of the symbol, her other hand resting on her thigh.

Breathe, Just…Breathe. Luke’s voice, another memoryvision that fills her with regret because this beautifully kind man used to be a teacher, filled with patience and guidance the galaxy sorely needs, but now lacks.

She takes his advice, even if it wasn’t meant for her.  In, out. In…out…. i  n  . .   .

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Her eyes drift open, and she finds herself bathed in the light of a fire, instead of a sun.  Rey breathes, and feels hernotherother pulse through her veins in the place of her lifeblood, slowing any panic she might have felt.  A strange figure sits across from her.  Rey breathes and knows them.  Not their face or their name, but their self.  Light personified.  Ferocious. Burning.  Loving.  Sorrowful. Powerful.  

Curiosity breaks through her calm where panic couldn’t.  “Are you a Jedi?”

The being smiles at her, compassion with a predator’s teeth.  “I am no Jedi, young one.”

Her words ring out like a canticle in the Force, and Rey waits for another vision of things long past to overtake her.  When nothing happens, her curiosity grows, swirling around with the peace the Force is providing her with, balanced.

“Then what are you?  A teacher?”  She looks more closely.  The woman’s montrals let her tower over Rey, even sitting as they are.  Her hands rest on her own thighs, mirroring Rey’s position exactly.

“Sometimes.  Sometimes not,” the woman says, and Rey feels exasperation mix with her curiosity.  She sees the other woman’s smile take on an edge of humor, and suddenly there is a vision in her mind, except– no.  Not a vision, shoved into her head by the Force, but memories shared with her, offered for her to take or leave.

The kindness of it makes her beam, and she takes it gladly; Yoda is amused beside her, and she lets herself be amused, too, instead of embarrassed, and holds her lightsaber up to the younglings.  This weapon is your life; don’t lose it–

Rage, terrible and powerful revenge is not the Jedi wayovertakes her.  Her ‘sabers lash out in a whirlwind of death, and bodies fall to the ground just moments after their heads–

She stands, darkness before her: I am no Jedi.

“Ahsoka,” Rey murmurs. Daughter, the Force murmurs back.

Ahsoka grins at her, age crinkling her eyes.  “Rey.”

They sit there for a moment, each studying the other closely.  Rey notices her lightsabers hanging from her belt, feeling them thrum in tune with the teacherwarriorwolf.  “Can you help me?” She asks.

Ahsoka shifts until her legs are crossed in front of her and rests her hands on her knees, and Rey finds herself mirroring her position now.  “Perhaps. That depends on what you want.”

The warm light from the fire flickers, pulsing at Rey and reflecting in her eyes.  “I need someone to show me my place, in all of this.” She gestures around them; not to the cavern, but to the Force.

Ahsoka exhales a laugh. “I know this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but…” She angles her head to the side.  “That all depends on you.  Your place is your choice, just as everyone else’s place is theirs.”

Unbidden, Kylo Ren appears in her mind’s eye, running through Han with his lightsaber.  Rey’s hands tighten into fists and now fury joins the other emotions, altering the harmony within her without erasing it.  Ahsoka’s face smooths out, as if she sees what Rey is remembering.  She probably is, now that Rey thinks about it.  

No elaboration comes, pulling more exasperation out of her, but instead of voicing it Rey seeks the answer on her own.

First, she reaches out into the Force, but its answer is the same as Ahsoka’s: blank, uncompromising potential.  She pushes harder, looking for threads of the future, threads she has seen Jedi manipulate in her visions, but the Force pushes back, gently.  No, it whispers.  You.  You decide.

Sighing, she searches the memories inside her, the ones that are hers, but not hers, and seeks the answer. Nothing comes forth, though; just pain, and suffering, and hope.  Faintly, she rememberseesknows the weight of destiny on the shoulders of a little boy, placed there by those who should have known better, driving him down a path he did not choose himself.

Rey takes the hint and releases the memoryvisions for a moment, taking a look around the chamber once more.  She recalls the feelings it evoked in her, that it still draws out of her.  A sense of purpose, of belonging.  

This place is ancient for a thousand generations.  So many had come here before her, leaving their own marks on the harmony within the temple, not unlike the harmony of emotions inside of her.  So many Jedi.

Does she want to be a Jedi? Rey tilts her head to the side, letting her eyes slide out of focus.  Maybe.  Purpose– to guard the galaxy, promote peace and harmony, even teach others like her when the time came.  Belonging– the memories in her head that weren’t things that she’d lived, but from all those who had come before her, who had lived and bled and learned and died. She could belong with them.

But then– Finn. Poe.  The General.  All those things could be found outside of the Jedi.  She could have purpose and belonging with her friends; her family, really.  The Force could be found outside the Jedi as well; Maz knew it, and Luke…and this woman before her.  Not a Jedi.  Fighting like one, meditating like one, but unbound by the shackles of millennia of tradition.

Rey–beyond all the other things–is curious.  She wants to know.  Kylo Ren shoved himself in her face, you need a teacher, and so she closed her eyes and opened herself up to the Force and called, teach me.   And it did. It taught her; she learned.

Could she– could that be her purpose? To learn the ways of the Force?

And do what with them, something whispers.  Learning is nothing without the will to use it; you will not be content to sit in this temple and learn forever, child.

The resistance base flashes through her mind: intent and will personified.  All of them, working together to defeat the First Order.  But that’s not…

She takes in another deep breath, closing her eyes as she does.  Purpose can’t simply be opposition.  A lifetime waiting amidst the burning hot sands of Jakku gave her experience with people who were defined by their hate of the planet, the people, themselves; those were the ones who didn’t last long.  You need more than hate if you want to survive.

Luke, broken; the galaxy, shattered without a government, without hope; the Force, so long asleep there was no one left to wield it.  the balance, her own voice tells her again, more intently. What balance, she thinks to herself, and it all shiftsand suddenly the universe is screaming; or, suddenly she can hear it.

LightLeia help me Obi-wan Kenobiand Poe and Finn, burning bright.

DarknessKylo Ren and his twisted seduced by the dark side of the Forceobsession with the past. With his master.

“The balance,” Rey says, out loud, and words come full circle. “I want to fix it.”

Ahsoka leans forward, montrals dangerously close to the flames between them.  “Are you certain?”

“Yes.” Rey can feel it, now: the galaxy, the Force, is out of balance, and screaming with the pain of it.  “I want to restore balance to the Force.”

Daughterteacherwolflight tilts her head back for a moment and laughs. “Well, then.”  The wheel turns, she doesn’t say, but Rey can hear it all the same.

other parts to follow!  questions, comments, compliments, concerns welcome. 

[professorspork]

I sometimes wonder if within the Star Wars universe, bringing balance to the force means being able to use both the Light and the Dark without falling 100% into either side. Like, Rey being pulled to the Dark because it has something she needs, but maintaining her moral compass and compassion and urge to do good. idk it always seemed odd that an order all about balance only placed emphasis on one side of the spectrum 1/2

Tho it might just be a misunderstanding on my part. Is the Dark a separate part of the Force that Force-sensitive people can manipulate, different from the Light part? Or is that just what it's called when you use the Force for purely selfish reasons? 2/2

oh my friend you have unleashed such a can of worms i am so sorry please bear with me.

there are two answers to your question, one of which is “what we get from the series so far” and the other one being My Obviously Correct Headcanons And Opinions.

In the past, the Dark Side has been pretty much exclusively categorized as “what happens when you use the Force for purely selfish reasons.” That power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so the more you let your anger and resentment and personal need fuel your use of the Force, the more twisted you and it will become. that an act of weakness CREATES a darker seed of weakness within, to be continually exploited.

but that’s always been an inherently unsatisfactory definition--not because of what it implies about corruption, but because of what it identifies as the root of that corruption. it’s been frustrating as far back as Yoda’s lessons on Dagobah, where he told Luke that interfering in order to save his friends would make him vulnerable to the dark side for ???reasons??

It’s wrong to lash out in fear. It’s destructive to let your negative emotions be the sole source of your strength. all of that makes sense.

but where do you draw the line between selfishness and selflessness? Where do you find the boundaries on the spectrum from compassion, to caring, to possessiveness, to obsession?

the OT and PT never really gave us satisfactory answers to these questions--only vague pseudo-buddhist notions about how wanting things will make you miserable and terrible, probably, and that true balance means neutrality. means never having personal investment. and that’s just not how people work. so if we’re going by the idea that that’s the Jedi way, then yeah-- the Jedi do need to end.

but as Luke said-- the idea that the light side of the force will go away if the Jedi Order becomes obsolete is ridiculous.

so where does that leave us, in canon?

well, if the light side of the force stands for life, growth, connection, and peace, then that would seem to imply that the dark side must stand for death, decay, fractured society, and violence. this means that balance of the Force isn’t just some neutral value, because the Force itself isn’t value neutral. the Force isn’t weather--the Force is the collective intention and interconnectedness of all sentient consciousness. you can’t blame a hurricane for killing people because that’s just what hurricanes do. Hurricanes can’t decide. but people DO. and that’s what makes it the Dark Side of the Force--it’s the decisions behind the actions.

and yet.

so much of where the PT failed was that it did such a poor job of showing us what it actually set out to show us: how a good man, Anakin Skywalker, became corrupted by the dark side. what the PT ends up saying is “he wanted to end slavery so much that he became a fascist; he loved his mom and his wife and that made him Terrible.” which-- what the hell kind of lesson is that? We never actually saw that thing click in his head where it suddenly became okay for him to kill younglings. We watched it happen, but I never bought a moment where he gave in, because I never saw how his weaknesses as a good man--how his desire to protect and defend made him selfish and possessive--turn into something outright violent against people who had nothing to do with him. they never sold me on the connection.

but the sequels... they’re doing something different.

the consensus in the OT and PT seemed to be that it’s terrifyingly easy to succumb to the dark side. that you could be minding your own business having friends and wanting good safe things for them and one day you could trip and fall and that would turn you evil. i never vibed with that.

the ST, though... over and over again, what I see it saying is that it’s hard to be evil. It’s hard, and it sucks, and it kills everything good in you. that’s why Finn rejects it; that’s why Kylo Ren is so fucking miserable all the time. but it also demonstrates that there’s something so inherently compelling about using the Force to get what you want that once you’ve gone far enough, the idea of losing it is so incomprehensible you’d do anything--you’d do the worst thing--just to keep it from happening.

(Worth noting: the first Force power Rey ever uses is the Jedi Mind Trick. the first thing out of her mouth when Luke asks her what the Force is is “a way to make people do what you want.”)

it would be the easiest thing in the world for Ben Solo to be the golden boy of the Republic. that life was handed to him on a platter--all he had to do was stay there. all he had to do was take it. even now, Rey is still telling him: the door is open. the life you left behind is right there, waiting for you, needing you, if only you’d be willing to do the work to take it back.

so much of Kylo’s dialogue is talking about how he feels conflict, the pull towards the light, how his only goal is to kill the good in him, kill the past, kill all his ties to his obligation to morality. but it’s a constant fucking struggle for him. you don’t just trip and fall into evil. you have to choose it, every day.

and if that’s true--that tells me so much more about “the dark side” than the other films ever did. it’s not that caring is a curse, because Ben Solo killed his caring a long time ago. it’s that once you’ve had a taste of whatever it is that made Kylo Ren powerful enough to stop a blaster shot in midair and hold it there for five minutes, while carrying on an entire, quite distracting conversation--that once you have that, it digs so deep in you you can’t give it up. it’s a disease, the same way that an addiction is a disease. and with the Force behind it, it has the power to feed itself.

and you’ll never get well from an illness you have no interest in a cure for. so you keep digging deeper into the dark, because even if it’s hard, even if it tears you apart inside, the dark can give you things the light never will. and most of all, it’s convinced you that those are the things you should want.

what i think we might be heading towards--what i would LOVE to see us heading towards-- is the conclusion that we’ve been incorrectly defining the Dark Side this whole time.

if I have a rope, I can use it as a lifeline or as a noose. that doesn’t tell me anything about the rope. it tells me about me. 

Evil corrupts. Malice makes you strike first, strike hardest, strike in arbitrary anger. Trauma warps your sense of reality and makes it hard to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy, between acting for for your own survival and actively undermining your own self-interest. Wrath makes you act so that the punishment far outstrips the crime. Jealousy tells you that the things you love belong to you. Hate makes you want to destroy the things you don’t understand. Vengefulness makes you mistake personal satisfaction for justice.

but the Force... I don’t think the Force does any of that. it can be used as a vehicle to get you there faster, but that doesn’t mean that part of the Force is dark and used for dark things only. It means that you MAKE it dark when you USE it for the dark. 

Balance means harmony, not discord. the Force in balance needs must tend toward the light not because death is evil and must be avoided at all costs, but because life, uninterrupted until its natural end, is life as life was intended.

death isn’t the dark side. death is the Force in balance.

murder is the dark side, because it’s using the Force for something it was never meant to be used for, on purpose, for wrong, for personal gain. and no wonder it’s powerful, because the Force is always powerful--it’s all life and thought and spirit that exists! but that doesn’t mean the Force wants you to do a certain amount of bad things and the universe would fall apart otherwise. it means the Force needs people to tell the difference, because that’s all the Force has ever been: the interconnectedness of sentience.

the Force doesn’t tell us what to think. we tell it what to think. and the Force doesn’t need murder any more than people do. 

*collapses.*

[littlegreeninatophat]

Convincing My Brother of Reylo (TLJ Spoilers!)

Me: So I was in the middle of taking a test and one of the paragraphs said something along the lines of how education is the great equalizer and it got me thinking on how Rey and Kylo are equals! Or, at least, they’re supposed to be; in The Force Awakens Kylo and Rey fought and I feel like the point of that fight scene was to showcase that they are equals in their power and skill

BUT Kylo had one up on her and that was his knowledge.

He had years of training under his belt with the Force and he knew what was going on in the galaxy, he knew about his family and Rey on the other hand didn’t even know who her parents were, or that the Jedi were real much less the drama that was going on outside of Niima outpost.

My prediction was that in this movie by the end of it they would be truly equals both in knowledge and skill. Rey was given proper training by Luke in the ways of the Force, she finally finds out why Ben turned and why Luke ran away and who her parents were. And she has finally caught up to Kylo.

Every interaction with Rey and Kylo is just to prove more and more, time and time again that they are equals, especially their fight with the red guards as well as their scene where they have this tug-of-war with Aniken’s lightsaber was the final nail in the coffin for any doubt😁

Brother: I thought she was going to surpass him in power

Me: What would be the fun in that😉

Brother: Just a good butt kicking

Me: We got that in BOTH movies🤣

To me the best antagonist and protagonist teams are the ones that are equal in power. It creates for more tension, really raises the stakes for both sides.

Not to mention they’re really going with this romance between Kylo!Ben and Rey and if they were ever to be in a relationship Ben and Rey would NEED to be equals in every aspect. Or else it would be off-balance and that keyword “”balance”” keeps on coming up and I believe it to be a central theme, especially in the movies to come.

The previous Jedi Order believe that balance would be the destruction of all the Sith. (Luke even calls them out on their stupidity rather early in the movie) and the Jedi continued to believe this after all the Sith were died and only one Jedi remained, yet the galaxy was not put in balance, the First Order still came out of the Empire and Rebels became the Resistance.

Nothing changed.

History literally repeated itself with Starkiller Base as the new Death Star. Only this time the Force decided not to repeat it’s mistakes (again) Snoke even brought up how as the darkness rose in a Kylo, his *EQUAL* in the light would rise to meet him, creating a balance of power.

Kylo and Rey’s shared vision of each other falling to their their respective sides only proved it further. The constant in both their visions was that they would be together, side-by-side as they are meant to be.

Brother: I can buy that. Though I’m not convinced a relationship can happen at this point. He keeps killing people she loves. There has to be a point of no return and I’m afraid he’s beyond it already

Me: I don’t believe that.

People swore up-and-down that Vader was beyond redemption, he himself said it was too late for him and yet that’s exactly what happened.

And Kylo, Ben has something that Vader didn’t, a true equal who understands his pain and actively combats his loneliness, and he does the same for her. No one saw Vader as a person the way Rey sees Kylo!Ben now.

The key quote in the entire movie was that they will not win by destroying what we hate but saving what we love.

That was slap-in-the-face foreshadowing.

In the The Force Awakens novelization it was revealed that Snoke saw the compassion Kylo had for the girl and “compassion” was defined by Aniken Skywalker himself to be the purest form of love.

I’m sure what Rey is feeling for Ben be the end of The Last Jedi is compassion.

You don’t desperately plea with someone you hate or despise to go with you, to trust you, to let them help you, to not go down a path that you can’t follow them on.

Brother: I agree, there is always the possibility of redemption. I’m nothing if not a firm believer in forgiveness. That said, I think there is a line that, when crossed, can make relationships impossibly difficult. Forgiveness and redemption are one thing, but to choose to trust someone after that level of betrayal is not easy… That line was a good one though.

Me: Not easy but worth it;)

Brother: She could continue to love him but a functioning romantic relationship may not be on the table anymore. Who knows… Padme loved Anakin, even after he slaughtered all those little kids… but his actions made it effectively impossible for her to ever trust him with her heart in the context of marriage/partnership. He could have turned his life around immediately after and spent the rest of his life doing redemptive things, but she would always see him as the man that light sabered a bunch of younglings. Most writers recognize that to bring characters together after something like that is a betrayal of common sense… it’s increasingly more common to gloss over it in anti hero style stories, but Star Wars is pretty conservative and so is Disney. I’ll get off my soap box now ;)

Me: Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want anything to be all happy dandy for Kylo/Ben after him and Rey come to a compromise on the whole Resistance First Order issue. He’s going to have to do something BIG to earn her trust back… I don’t know what yet though🤔

And I will point out that Kylo and Rey have something Aniken and Padme didn’t, and that is a Force Bond AKA WHEN THE FORCE THAT FLOWS THROUGH ALL LIVING THINGS IS LITERALLY STICKING TWO KIDS IN A ROOM AND TELLING THEM TO WORK OUT THEIR PROBLEMS THEN KISS AND MAKE UP

Also, I think we have yet to see a perfectly functional romantic relationship in Star Wars🤔

It’s also super interesting to me how Rey is the one who is aggressive in their interactions especially at first! (She SHOT him) yet he never once is aggressive or angry towards her.

Just genuinely curious.

Ben’s patients with Rey in their Bond moments fascinates me. Maybe part of it was because Ben thought he would get a chance to explain himself to her, give the one person who might listen, the one person who knows loneliness like he knows it, a chance to hear his side of the story.

Yet his calm never came across as forced to me until he’s desperately pleading with Rey to stay with him, to join him, only then does it turn urgent.

And after what Kylo interprets as Rey abandoning him (like his father, his mother and his uncle had done to him) only then does he completely freak out and lose all control. Only after he was faced with his biggest fear, abandonment from the last shred of hope in his life does he lose it.

Then there is the end of the movie where we see Kylo on his knees and he sees Rey through their bond and he doesn’t look at her with accusation or hatred or even a hint of intention to carry out his promise to Luke that he would destroy her, because he can’t. Rey told Ben that he was the Resistance’s last hope but what Rey may not completely realize is that she, Rey of Jakku, a lonely scavenger, a nobody, is Ben Solo’s last hope.