#if you say it’s bc they’re always either dead and/or in the wrong body i will SCREAM

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

I’m sorry but this fandom has the most piss-poor reading comprehension I’ve ever seen.

I’m not sure if “reading” comprehension can still be applied to a visual medium, but whatever - regardless, the fact that fans can’t even read the fucking narrative and instead deconstruct or misconstrue characters and then rebuild them completely different then how they’re actually suppose to be in the story, is wild.

henry creel is meant to be a fucking villain. like. I need you all to understand this. there was no mistaking this when he was introduced to the show. yes, his background and reasonings for turning murderous and then fully becoming vecna are complex and interesting within the story and how they relate to the lab and whatnot, but we’re suppose to grasp from the beginning that henry always had it in him to turn into a villain. it didn’t simply start with the abuse under brenner (abuse, btw, as we’ve learned from the billy fiasco, is not a get-out-of-jail-free-card when it comes to his actions) - it starts when he’s a fucking 10yr old kid and he tied up a bunny rabbit and started torturing it. no, I’m not saying a lonely and disturbed child was straight up evil, but purely from who he was, he found his own purpose and enjoyment in harmful things.

he always had that. and we’re suppose to grasp that from the narrative.

ppl out here saying he was actually trying to help el???? that he, quote, did nothing wrong????? this isn’t interpreting the text how you see it. this is fucking taking the whole text and tossing it out the window.

the duffers were clear the second henry was introduced. we can read this not just from his actions, but by the setup too - the soundtrack, the way el is nervous and unsure of him, the way jamie plays him with that continuous haunting air; we’re told, from the start, to be cautious and unsure of him. this slowly changes we he starts interacting with el; encouraging her to utilize her emotions for her powers, whispering ‘good luck’ to her during the lesson, and then finally when we see him try to help her escape, we’re thinking maybe he’s a helpful good guy after all! the tone of the episode is leading us towards that, it’s set-up to have us believe that - so, we can have that show-stopping moment of a rug being pulled out under us when el walks out, seeing the dead bodies of her ‘siblings’ and henry covered in blood. that scene change is a massive fucking curve - it’s suppose to flip you over on your back, harshly tugging away the previous thought that maybe henry would be a good guy. we can see clearly now, he is not a good guy.

this alone, should be enough context. but his actions are more proof. him trying to get close to el wasn’t to ‘help’ her or protect her from brenner - it was a manipulation tactic, bc he saw her as a prime tool of use either for her strong psychic powers or bc he saw that same lonely/’feeling different/’ factor he felt in her too making her an easy target, and planted the seed by appearing to ‘help’ her so she’d accompany him in his take-over. killing the other children was not an act of mercy - it was bc he saw them as ‘weak’ and wanted to be rid of them before moving up with el, he didn’t gave any damn about them clearly by the way he either ignored them or encouraged el to fight back against them. this isn’t empathy - it’s manipulation. like..you all know there’s a reason why there are so many similarities between henry and el/will right? it’s to show us, in almost a black-n-white way, a good guy and a bad guy. they have similarities, but it’s their inner core, who they truly are, that gives way to them making the right or wrong choices. their morals - like the way henry, again, ties up a rabbit and tortures it, and then the way el cries at harming the cat and refuses. how will is both sensitive and haunted like henry, but instead, also kind and warm - giving his dumptruck to the little girl in the sandbox, ‘all friends welcome’ written on castle byers, whereas henry went into isolation as a youth bc he was both angry and afraid of the world. henry himself maybe didn’t start out evil, but what we’re suppose to understand is that he always had it in him to become so and did.

this! is! not! a! complex! subject! it is, in fact, NOT THAT DEEP.

frankly, I am so fucking tired of seeing this - this repeated wobbifycation of the fandom’s favourite White Boys(tm) where instead of understanding them for who the creators show us they are, completely blindside that to turn them into whatever fandom wants. we saw the same fucking thing happen earlier with billy. billy was written and always meant to be a one-off antagonist. he was suppose to show up in s2 to be a foil to max and the others and literally that was it - even the duffers said so, saying they had no plan to otherwise do anything with billy. but fangirls jumped onto him and built up fever for him so hard, completely deconstructing how the duffers planned him as just a two-dimensional racist asshole and instead saying he was some justified victim who was actually a good brother to max - and boom, now the fandom is filled with this shit, of ppl openly loving a character who tried to openly harm (or possibly kill) a child of colour, and he gets a full storyline in s3. while henry has more depth then billy, overall, this is the same pattern. the show gives us a cruel figure in the form of some young white guy, meant to be seen exactly for what he is, and fandom refuses to see it, tossing away any cruel actions by saying they weren’t meant to be bad in the first place, going so far as to completely rewrite the text of the storyline. 

you know who was suppose to be read as complex? kali.

no, I will not shut up about this - bc it is both so humours and totally disappointing in the way fandom gives free licences to white villains, but completely refuses to give that to actual complex characters and instead read them as one thing only. through the entirety of kali’s episode, we get the overall picture of her as someone both caring and cruel. kali clearly loves el, the way she treats her and smiles at her and opens herself to her showcases this - though kali will never fault el from making her own choices, it’s clear she wants her in her life. she also, cares for her friends; she’s able to relate her story of abuse to their own disenfranchisement, and then taking that, seeks out those who’ve hurt her and others so they’re repercussions, and so they can’t hurt again. there’s empathy and nobility in there - but, kali is also cruel. she’s unable to see how killing ray would affect his children, and how forcing el to confront brenner hurts her. she makes wrong choices, but we’re suppose to see, that kali isn’t trying to be inherently, 100% malicious in them. she’s got a higher purpose, a more complex meaning, behind it all. when you look at her and line it all up with how she acts, treats others, and generally just goes about her business, we come to understand that she’s neither good nor bad, but, somewhere in the middle.

and what happened? she was introduced and quite literally thrown to the mob who beat her to a pulp. fandom outright refused to look at the nuances - to them, kali did one(1) bad action, and so therefore was tossed aside, no longer to be looked at. the same fucking fandom that will bend over backwards for the villains of this story, when given an actual morally grey character shaped by hardship and abuse, wouldn’t even give her the time of the day.

honestly, if it weren’t so disheartening I would find it funny. instead, it’s just sad. it’s deeply frustrating and upsetting how fandom will find every excuse in the book to validate and understand villainous characters of a certain type (aka Attractive White Boy), but won’t give the time of day to actual interesting characters who’re much more deserving of this deep analysis I’ve seen for both henry and billy.

tl;dr: henry is a fucking villain. billy is a fucking villain. they were never meant to be anything more, and if you want a complex character, you can find that in kali or frankly, a handful of other characters in this show. and once more, this fandom has a racism & misogyny problem that aids in the complete inability to properly comprehend a storyline, and it’s no fucking wonder I really hate it around here sometimes.

[harrowharksoup]

How do Gideon and Harrow fulfill all the major couple tropes (enemies-lovers, bodyguard/princess, jock/nerd, sunshine one/grumpy one, tall one/short one) so perfectly and yet have never kissed??

[kingdaddydaichi]

NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

[yourmidnightlover]

all my fault

Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!

Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.

CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*

A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!

IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!

———————————————————————

when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.

“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.

“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.

“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.

“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’

spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.

your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.

because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.

the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.

being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.

spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.

you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.

you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.

“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.

“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.

“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.

“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”

you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.

spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.

“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.

you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.

“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”

“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.

“y/n…”

“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”

“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”

“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.

-

“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”

what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?

“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.

“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.

“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.

“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.

“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.

“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.

it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.

the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.

you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.

you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.

“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.

“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”

“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”

“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.

“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.

“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.

“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”

“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.

“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.

“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.

“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.

“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”

“i did,” you admitted.

“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”

“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.

“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.

“shut up, spencer!”

“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”

“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.

“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.

you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.

when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.

so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.

you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.

and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.

you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.

you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.

spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.

in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.

he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.

maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.

the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.

you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.

you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?

a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.

it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.

when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.

in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.

you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.

he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.

“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.

“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.

“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”

“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.

“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”

“y/n, i-“

“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.

he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.

“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.

“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.

“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.

“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.

“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”

“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.

“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.

“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”

he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.

how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.

“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”

“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.

she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.

“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.

“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.

“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”

“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.

“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”

“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”

“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”

“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.

“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”

“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”

“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”

“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.

“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.

he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.

“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.

“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.

“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”

“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”

“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”

“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”

“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”

“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.

“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.

“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”

“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.

“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”

“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”

you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.

“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”

“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.

“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.

“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”

“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”

“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”

over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.

five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.

one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.

seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.

you were pregnant.

taglist:

@averyhotchner

@greenprisca

@muffin-cup

@spenxerslut

@spencerreid9

@spencyreidpls

@spencerreid9

@spencersmagic

@calm-and-doctor

@the-local-pendeja

@spencersrose

@spencersmagic

@shemarmooresfedora

@pastelbabygirl19

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please don’t hesitate to message me or leave a comment!

[theepisceswriter]

Sending nudes/sexting w/ AOT characters (Erwin, Levi, Reiner, Zeke, Connie)

TW: mature things obviously, fembodied!reader, typos probably bc I didnt proofread, 18+, MINORS DNI

ERWIN

Okay but having Erwin as a sugar daddy who never really expects too much of the “sugar” part out of you, but he’s so sweet and nice and such a gentleman that you can’t help but feel bad one day and send him a teasing photo of you in some lingerie he bought you a while ago and oop—now you totally just started something between you two.

It started off as just pictures in you in lingerie. You mostly covered with maybe a nipples or two poking out through the fabric, but eventually you felt comfortable enough to send him picture of nude parts of you body. And eventually you built your confidence up to send him full body nude picture in stances that make him go crazy. Like you on your knees with your hands flat against your thighs or bent over something with your ass and cunt on display.

One time you sent him soapy titty pictures and a video of you putting the soap on your titties and when I tell you this man went feral with horniness, I mean it.

I wish I could write out sexts for Erwin but he strikes me more of a video call type person rather than text. He’ll FaceTime you in a heartbeat after you send a picture, instructing you on what he wants to see and what he wants you to do with your body. Often times the video calls end up with you either fingering yourself or fucking yourself with a toy he bought for you as he watches from the other end.

“Good girl, just like that. Now spread those lips for daddy so he can get a good look at you.”

Sometimes he’ll even join in with you for a mutual masturbation. Large cock on display in the camera and in his hand as he jerks it at the same pace you’re fingering yourself so you can both reach your orgasms at the same time.

After you both but you think that’s the end of that until the next time he wants to have a session like that, but seeing you over the phone only edge him on more. “I’m sending someone to come pick you up. Be ready in 10 minutes.” Not even a goodbye or anything, but an order.

LEVI

Nudes and sexting between you and Levi are not a common occurrence at all. You two would much rather be in the physical company of each other to do anything to each other and plus, Levi doesn’t like using his phone a lot.

That’s why when Levi sent you a picture of himself with the cockring you had put on him earlier in the week as a reminder that it was still on, you were shook to your core. Not only because of the fact that he just sent you a nude, but because he looked so good in it with his cheeks flushed, eyes low just begging to orgasm, and his pink cock standing straight up screaming for someone other than him to touch it.

It was almost like he sent it to you knowing that it would rile you up and hopefully cut down on his punishment so the two of you can hurry up and use each other to your liking. And you would be lying if you said that thought wasn’t peaking at the back of your head, but this week was all about your self control along with his. As you’re thinking on how you should reply, maybe with a picture of your own or a few words to tease him, he sends you a string of texts:

(txt) I’m so needy for you baby

(txt) I don’t think I can wait three more days with this thing on

(txt) it hurts, I need you to make me feel good

(txt) so I can make you feel good too

But, just to torture him longer and get him at his neediest, you send him a picture of your cunt along with a text:

(txt) only 3 more days and then you’ll be able to have me any way you want 💜

REINER

As an adult it’s so clear that Reiner really lacks confidence at times and can be quite shy and uneasy when it comes to things. Especially when that thing is something like taking nudes that requires so much confident because let’s be honest, sending nudes isn’t always easy.

Plenty of times you’ve blessed him with lewd photos of yourself to add to his spank bank or tried to sext with him, but he just couldn’t quite catch on, but you really don’t mind at all! As long as you’re helping him orgasm and not making him uncomfortable then you could care less about his poor sexting and nude taking skills. But he wants to learn how to be more comfortable in his own skin, so he enlists in your help. At first you thought he was joking, but nope, he was dead serious.

It was kind of awkward at first trying to give him directions on how to pose if it was a nude as if you weren’t the one taking the pictures for him, but it didn’t take long for the two of you to get the hang of it. At one point he looked so good, so hot and flustered with his cock in his hand spread out on the bed that you couldn’t resist pouncing on him then and there. Which resulted in hun taking the camera from you as you rode him and taking pictures of the two of you fucking.

It sparked a tradition between you two from there on out; taking pictures of each other in sexual context whenever you can. You two don’t even need to send each other nudes at this point because you have so many nude pictures of your phone already on each other’s phones.

Not saying you dressed Reiner up in a maid outfit once and took pictures of him with his erect cock poking out underneath the dress, but you dressed Reiner up in a maid outfit once and took pictures of him with his erect cock poking out underneath the dress and you keep it in the favorites tab in your camera roll for whenever you need spank bank material.

Now he’s much more confidence with taking nude photos of himself and sometimes he’s the one to start up sexting conversations between you two.

ZEKE

There’s no one in this world who sexts better than Zeke sexts. His messages are like poetry, so descriptive and easy to visualize and leave you melting in your seat with hot cheeks. They’re just as effective on you as his dirty talk in the bedroom and if you sat there for a good thirty minutes just reading them and thinking about all you experience with him, then you could probably make yourself cum just from that.

(txt) I just want to make you tremble in my arms so bad while I pound into you from behind, my fingers playing with your swollen clit to push you into sensitivity while you orgasm

(txt) want a cock covered in cum by the time I’m through with you

What’s so funny is that he’s behind the screen doing a mundane task like eating cereal while texting you all this. He’s not even too turned on or overly horny at all, just messing with you because he knows the two of you are so far away from each other at the moment.

It’s not until you send him a video of your wet cunt on display with your fingers knuckles deep into yourself moaning out his name trying to mimic his touch, that he really gets riled up. Sitting his cereal down and all to focus on the short snippet of a video, feeling himself get harder and harder in his pants as he watches it on repeat.

(txt) Aw the needy little slut can’t get off properly without me there, can you?

He knows you’re using these texts to coax yourself into your orgasm, probably imagining him behind you whispering them in ear. So, to mess with you further knowing how much you want him right now, he sends a video back to you of him palming his erection through his pants. Knowing it’ll drive you crazy that you can’t have him right now in this moment.

CONNIE

Connie sends you pictures of his dick all the time and not even necessarily in sexual content either. You’ll be minding your business at work and get a picture of Connie’s dick with tiny sunglasses and a mustache on it with a text that reads: “Look babe 😌 I dressed him up. He wants to go on a date with your pussy tonight.”

You cannot take this man seriously at all, simply replying to him with an emoji like ‘🤨’ thinking that’ll be the last of that for today, but boy oh boy were you wrong. Minutes later your phone is buzzing with a notification from Connie. It’s a video and because you think it’s going to be a meme or something you open it without considering your surroundings.

Immediately, the sounds of his whines and moans exit the speakers on your phone and you have to run to the bathroom to finish the rest of the video. This time you’re able to actually look at it; Connie’s hand stroking the base of his cock with a lubricant all over his hands at a pace that was going to have him cumming in only a couple of minutes. And no, the mustache and sunglasses were no longer on anymore.

You take pity on your poor boyfriend and decided to do him a favor, pulling down your shirt and bra so you’re breasts were on display for them. Angling them and holding them up in a way you knew would make him go crazy before you sent the picture to him.

(txt) enjoy 🥰

And in return? He sent you a nut video with the sound on.

[rotshop]

help girl i just woke up and im already thinking abt mag s/o again. anyway please consider ;

[ tw body horror, some brief light gore and violence ]

[ note ; reader is SLIGHTLY described. the only thing mentioned is that they have a noticeable, identifying scar on their face

hank + mag s/o

-he knew you even before the boombox incident. he doesn't even really remember how you two first met, he just remembers that you started talking to him and then just kinda kept coming back. at first he wasn't the biggest fan of you since he was 'doing just fine on his own,' but...he admittedly was already really attached to you. they've never been much of a talker and that's especially noticeable to you at that point in time but ,,, they respond enough with signing, nodding / shaking their head, or the occasional speaking that you're able to carry some conversations pretty well.

-he doesn't really. have. a lot of people in his life. you're really his only real close friend, it's kinda hard for him to fully wrap his head around it so !! they chose not to, instead focusing more-so on whatever it was you were rambling to them about that day.

-not super sure of where to put this lmao but ummm ehe . he's actually surprisingly touchy with you????? like. you've hung out at his house a few times and he just like. you'll start out sitting next to each other and you'll end up either laying with your head on their chest or vice versa . its . a little funny . you tease him about it a little and he just flicks your shoulder. also traces your scar a lot if you'll let them, they're not entirely sure why they do it, they just . like asking you about it occasionally.

-also you have scary dog privileges. they might look like any other grunt at that point but they're still tall as fuck and idk man !! something abt getting a blank stare from someone who towers over u would probably make u shut up and mind ur own damn business.

-again, he's not super good at fully recognizing / acknowledging certain thoughts and feelings of his but . yknow. he can definitely tell he at least worries about you a lot more than he would some other grunt he just met. he can definitely tell there's a reason he doesn't mind you touching him, whether by grabbing his hand to go show him something or just placing a hand on his shoulder or arm (most likely arm, again. hes tall. ). they can definitely tell there's a reason that they find themself genuinely enjoying your interactions.

-after the park thing you don't see them for a long time. everytime you try and call him the lines dead, everytime you try and ask others about him you just get choice words, all in all you're pretty much lost on the entire thing. sure, you know what happened but . it just never sits right with you. it doesn't help whenever people ask questions about them or give you wary looks because of your association, half steps back when you take one forward.

-anyway. yeah nevada goes to shit and you get magnified for the aahw. by now you just. don't really talk about hank. surprisingly, you have a little more of your old memories than the average mag !! congrats. problem is they're all foggy enough that you only really distantly decipher them. lmao. you aren't super high on the ladder but you're a pretty tough mag to beat. you're well known enough that other mags tend to hang around you when there's not much else going on. v2 mags especially think it's fun to mess around with you by jumping on your back or otherwise clinging onto you . idk man u've got like . a little family here .

-at one point or another there's an outing youre on that ends up going wrong. you get split up from the rest of your unit and are forced to hide out in some old abandoned building while you wait for backup. you're a little too injured to try and walk all the way back, a heavy gash on your side preventing you from doing too much in the moment. when you hear heavy steps on concrete you're able to give some sort of noise of relief, turning your head to look over your shoulder at whichever agent in your group had finally found you-

-you're instead met with red goggles and the end of a gun.

-any kind of relief is snatched away, you know damn well who it is by just the bit you can see in the dark alone. even standing in the shade between two windows (one of which you were sitting by, probably how they seen you in the first place- if that's the case though, it's a little weird they hadn't just shot at you through it.) you knew it was him. you're already stumblingly forcing yourself up to as much of your full height as you can manage, taking some kind of defensive position even as one of your hands ghosts over your gash. the throbbing pain of it and the feeling of blood sticking and running down your skin is enough that you can't seem to focus on the fact that he won't stop staring at your face.

-it doesn't take long before your legs seem to fail you, forcing you forward a bit as you kneel in some sort of attempt to keep upright. you're too busy hissing under your breath and screwing your eyes shut in pain as your hand covers your side to notice your company stepping forwards. you're snapped back to attention when there's a hand on your face, fingertips digging into your skin as they yank your head down a little further. you know you should be grabbing him, that you should be digging your claws into his torso and ripping him clean in half, throwing whatevers left aside and leaving. you know thats what you were told to do, what you were told they deserved anyway. yet, you aren't. instead, you're just giving some warning growl as you stare at them. you notice how the end of the gun is pointed away from you, how their touch seems to outline the mark on your face.

-"If you try and hurt me, I'll kill you." That's the only real heads up you get before he's crouching down and shoving your hand out of the way, grabbing something from his pocket to get to work on you. you don't fail to notice how little attention they're paying to you (aside from the focus on your wound, of course), that you could just rush forward and slam them into the ground if you really wanted.

-ok im skippin g ahead bc this is already way too goddamn long for hcs DEJWJCS

-anyway. it's a complicated relationship for a while. the others tend to avoid you a little but he just keeps showing up around you. they keep staring at you and just hanging around in your general area. it's not that much of an irritant if you ignore all the weird emotions and thoughts it keeps bringing to the forefront of your mind, forcing you to once again try and meddle with your memories.

-eventually he just starts walking over to you and sitting down next to you. sometimes he doesn't say anything at all, just sitting there and seeming to wait for one thing another- he never seems to find whatever that is, as he always gets up and leaves without a word at some point or another. then they start talking, its just little things at first, point-blank statements you can't say much on. sometimes they're just saying they and the other three will be gone for a bit othertimes it's some half-demand to let them look at the stitches they did on you (semi-related, he's not good at them. the stitches are pretty rough. at one point or another sanford has to redo them properly lmao)

-but then there's one particular night. they do the normal thing, come over, sit down next to you, not say a word. this time though you note how they're facing you. instead of some reminder or a demand for anything, he's pulling his ask down and asking a simple question. 'What do you remember?'

-it's a long conversation. he's talking more than he normally would by a long shot, occasionally stopping whenever his words seem to especially fail him and get stuck in his throat. you don't even really remember moving around, or even him pulling you in any way, you just know you somehow end up laying next to him with your head on his chest.

-whenever the memories do seem to click into place, it's hard. you have a lot of choice words for them yourself, months of being left alone without a word bubbling up with a vengeance, they listen to them. while some mags (such as yourself) do have the ability to speak, the san and dei don't think they've ever heard one with that much emotion in their voice. they've especially never seen a mag just break down like you do, they're both tensing up a little from their far away spot when hank's walking closer to you. instead of you lashing out or swiping at him though, you just sit there while he wraps his arms around you (as best as he can at least, it's a little difficult but he's able to get them around your neck and reach his other hand behind you well enough). you're eventually doing the same to him, though it's more so just your hands resting on their back.

-it takes a good while for proper trust to be rebuilt along with an honest, proper explanation from hank that only you're privy to. eventually though, there's enough trust that you're able to hang around him again without narrowly avoiding an argument or anything. they don't like being super affectionate or 'vulnerable' in front of the other two, so most times they prefer being in your or their room. also they're still touchy lmao, doesn't help that you're mag sized now and so they just want to hold you . its hard to explain, he's never been super affected by others heights and even when he is it's usually a negative thing for him but . for some reason . he just likes being shorter / smaller than you lol ,,,,,,,, hope you like holding them a lot bc that's what you're gonna be doing

-holy shit these are long so . i think .i am going to stop here.

[iam93percentstardust]

Prompt: tony can’t get enough of Steve’s strength and Steve loves it bc he’s still quite self conscious of his body? 💚

I realized halfway through writing this that you probably meant for a canon-compliant fic, but I was already so deep into the worldbuilding for this little science fiction fic (seriously, you don't even know how much unnecessary worldbuilding I did) so I kept with it

Also on ao3 here!

~

“Steve!” Tony hollers through the communicator. Steve glances up from the board game he’s playing with Natasha and Clint and over at where the communicator hangs from the ship’s wall. He still doesn’t really understand the technology behind the communicators even after a year of being awake, but they’re hung all over the Avenger’s Shieldand he won’t deny that they’re useful.

“I’m here,” he says at a normal volume, knowing that JARVIS will easily pick up what he’s saying and transmit it to Tony. Tony’s just being loud because he’s always loud and because he’s down in the engine room of the ship with all its noises from the conversion of stardust into energy.

“Great! I need your muscley goodness down here like yesterday.”

Steve hides a smile and stands, passing his pieces off to Clint, who’s losing worse than either Steve or Natasha. “Here, you can have mine. Not sure how long I’ll be down there.”

Clint’s eyes narrow and Steve tries not to fidget under the cybernetic enhancements. When he went into the ice nearly three hundred years ago, mankind didn’t even dream of space travel, at least not realistic space travel, and now they’ve got colonies on galaxies as far away from their own, it makes his head spin. Humans have peace treaties with over two thousand alien civilizations. And mechanical body enhancements, meant to augment humans for travel and work and sometimes sheer entertainment, are as common as breathing. But Steve, with his serum-induced enhancements, is somehow still the odd one out.

“You know,” Clint says, “you don’t have to help him out if you don’t want to. Tony means well but that doesn’t mean he can’t be abrasive sometimes.”

“I don’t mind,” Steve says truthfully. Everyone else on this ship seems to dance around his non-cybernetic enhancements—and around the fact that he’d been frozen in the ice caps, now stretching as far south as Florida, for three hundred years—but Tony never once seemed to care. He’s thrilled about Steve’s enhancements—no one else on the ship is quite as strong as Steve is, not since Thor joined the crew of the Milano—both because of what Steve can help him with and because of what the serum means for scientific advancement, though Steve hasn’t let Bruce or Yinsen take any of his blood yet.

He heads down into the belly of the ship, pausing once at one of the portholes to look out at the stars flashing by them. It still amazes him that humans have achieved all of this (and horrifies him that they achieved this but left their own planet behind).

Tony’s “lair” (as Clint calls it) is located at the very bottom of the ship. It’s here that Tony holds his court, making sure that the engines that run the ship are still intact and running smoothly, tinkering with other projects that the other crewmembers give to him, and designing improved systems for the Shield, whether that’s comms, mechanical, or even medical. Tony does it all. According to Natasha, Tony, who’s one of the few nonhumans on the ship, was once a member of high society on his home planet, Aur’a, but left it all behind to join the Shield and travel the galaxy.

Steve opens the door and is immediately met with a wave of heat. It’s always hot down here. Tony says it’s because of the celestial energy, that stars run so hot that even residue energy is still too hot for unenhanced humans to handle. Fortunately, neither Steve nor Tony are unenhanced, and Steve would be willing to bet that the reason it’s so hot in the engine room today is because Tony is working with raw stardust.

The copper pipes running the room are too close to avoid bumping into for someone as large as Steve, so he doesn’t even bother trying to avoid them, letting them brush against his skin as he follows the sound of Tony humming. When he’d first joined the crew, he’d been worried about Tony complaining that Steve couldn’t move around the engine room without knocking something over, but Tony has never once complained, only just made easygoing jokes about bulls in china shops and told him that the pipes are built to withstand forces a lot stronger than Steve. It had gone a long way toward helping him feel comfortable in the space and now he spends a lot of time down here, talking with Tony about the mechanics of the ship, even though a lot of it goes over his head.

He ducks underneath one of the pipes and rounds a corner to find Tony sitting on a bench, carefully chipping at a speck of stardust on the benchtop in front of him. Tony once told him that it only takes a miniscule amount of stardust to power the ship for an entire week, which is good because stardust is difficult to mine. Tony’s goggles are perched on top of his nose, giving him an owlish appearance. Steve finds it adorable, but he waits until Tony is done with the chisel before walking over to drop a kiss on top of his hair.

The rest of the crew doesn’t know that they’ve been seeing each other for a month. After their first kiss, Steve had asked if it would be okay to keep it quiet a little longer. Steve’s brain is still firmly convinced at times that they’re in the forties, so the idea that he can date a man and have it be as accepted as dating a woman is still a little foreign to him. Tony had been more than accommodating though, which is only one of the reasons Steve loves him so much.

“Oh!” Tony exclaims, clearly startled. “Didn’t realize you were already here.” He turns, pushing his goggles up to his hair. “Did you get even more muscley since the last time I saw you?”

“Tony, you saw me this morning,” Steve says amusedly.

“Right you are, Capsicle, but I still stand by what I said,” Tony shoots back with a cheeky wink. He runs his hands over Steve’s biceps, making a low purring sound under his breath. Steve just barely manages to hear it over the sound of the engines, and it makes him smile.

Sometimes, he still feels self-conscious about his size. Spending most of his life looking and feeling one way only to change in only seconds had been disorienting, and he hadn’t had much of a chance to get used to his size before he’d been thrown into the war and then frozen in the ice. Tony’s always good to talk to though when he needs someone to remind him that this is okay, that he isn’t taking up too much room just by existing. Somehow, he always manages to get to the heart of Steve’s insecurities and allay them.

He indulges in Tony’s warm touch for a little longer before asking, “So what did you need me for?”

Tony perks up, spinning on his heel and picking up the speck of stardust with his bare hand. “I need your help opening the converter door so I can toss this in. Something must have gotten damaged during the battle with the Hydra’s Scales, because it’s not opening for me.”

“Huh,” Steve says, following Tony through the warren of copper pipes toward the energy converter. He has no idea how Tony knows where he’s going without a map. Steve still sometimes needs a map and he’s lived on this ship for a year. “That’s not something you can fix?”

“Not with what I’ve got on ship. I’ll ask Fury if we can stop in Knowhere later this week. They’ve probably got what I need.”

“Wow, Tony Stark admitting he can’t jury-rig a solution from his lab. Hell must have frozen over,” Steve comments, grinning when Tony turns to scowl at him.

“You shut your mouth,” Tony growls.

“Or what?”

Tony’s eyes turn dark and heated. He slinks closer to Steve, runs his fingers up Steve’s chest, and purrs, “Or I’ll shut it for you.”

Steve’s brain shuts down. “Uh…”

“But not right now,” Tony says abruptly, tweaking Steve’s nipple through his shirt. He spins back around and marches off, leaving Steve floundering in his wake. He gapes after him for a second before hurrying to catch up.

“You,” he says, carefully bumping Tony’s shoulder with his—he doesn’t want Tony to drop the stardust after all—“are a menace.”

“That’s me: mechanic and professional menace,” Tony says cheerfully.

They stop beside the energy converter. Steve can immediately see what Tony means by there being something wrong with it. The converter is made out of some sort of transparent material—Steve doesn’t know what—so he can see right in to where something is twisted in the converter itself, partially fusing the door shut. Even Tony, with all his abilities as an Aurum, can’t reach into an active energy converter without burning his hand to ashes, and the converter has to stay active or they’ll be dead in space, so they’ll have to stop somewhere where he can make the necessary repairs.

“See?” Tony says. “I need someone who can muscle that open for me.”

“Well, I’ve definitely got muscles.”

“Mmm, yes you do,” Tony murmurs. Steve wonders if Tony’s thinking about the same thing he is: that time he pinned Tony to the walls of their shared bunk and—well, now’s not the time to be thinking about that.

He grabs onto the wheel and wrenches it to the left. Tony sure hadn’t been kidding; the wheel doesn’t budge at all. He applies more of his strength, muscles bulging. Under the squeal of metal, he hears Tony’s breath catch, and he grins saucily at him. Tony sticks his tongue out and gestures at the wheel again.

“Come on, Captain Crunch. Put your back into it.”

Steve, having no idea what Captain Crunch is supposed to be a reference to, makes a mental note to ask Tony about it once they’re done here. For now, though, he uses all of his strength and slowly—so slowly—the wheel turns, protesting the entire way. Eventually, he gets it open, letting another blast of heat into the engine room. Tony tosses the stardust in. It flares in the heat of the converter, setting off beautiful gold and purple sparks. Steve closes the door. It closes a lot easier than it opened. Tony hums thoughtfully at it.

“Well, that narrows things down,” he says, once the door is fully closed.

“What, that it was easier to close than it was to open?”

“Mmhmm. Only a few things that could be. Probably need to tell the One-Eyed Pirate though that we have to stop on Xandar instead of Knowhere. I don’t think Fujikawa will have what I need. Steve, don’t let me forget to tell Fury the course change.”

“Got it.”

“And thanks, by the way. Definitely couldn’t have done it without you.”

Steve glows at the praise. Maybe it’s silly, but it’s nice to be reminded that even in this oversized, clumsy body out of time, he’s still able to do some good. “Happy to help,” he says honestly.

They head back to Tony’s little work area, Tony eagerly chattering on about the project he’s working on for Natasha. Steve listens, fingers itching for the drawing tablet he’d left in the galley with Natasha and Clint. Tony is lovely when he’s animatedly talking about his inventions. Steve has half a dozen folders saved on his tablet, filled with nothing but different poses of Tony.

Tony leans up against the workbench and pulls Steve in, looping his hands around his neck. “Now, where were we earlier?” he hums, eyes dark.

“Careful,” Steve warns, bracing himself with hands on either side of Tony’s body. “I might crush you.”

“You might,” Tony agrees, though he doesn’t sound concerned at all. “And I might like that. All that coiled strength pinning me down? Oh, honey, yes.” He shivers, a small delighted smile curling his lips up.

“You just like me for my body,” Steve accuses. It isn’t the truth and he knows that. Tony loves him for many reasons; Steve’s strength is only one of them. But it’s fun to tease his lover and Tony is always happy when he does. He frequently worries that Steve is too serious.

“Yes, darling, that’s exactly it.” Tony kisses him lightly. Steve lets himself lean into Tony’s body a little more, grinning when Tony shudders against him.

He pulls away, tucking his head against the curve of Tony’s neck. “Thank you,” he breathes. He doesn’t know how Tony always knows when Steve is feeling self-conscious about his body, but he somehow does and he always comes up with something that’ll help.

Tony strokes his hair. “Anytime, darling. Anytime.”

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[cinnamonest]

I’m pushing out another one of my long-since-drafted things to the queue bc I’m trying to start keeping the queue active 24/7 and fill more asks but have this in the meantime

//dark shit, like the blood gore violence kind of yandere not the hot kind, brief animal death, gruesome slow npc death, gore, violence, blood, decaying/putrefaction mention

I'm really bad at judging what's mild versus severe when it comes to gore/blood bc I tend to underestimate, I think this is kinda severe? Let me know which it is actually pls so I have a better idea for the future ---------------------------------------- I mentioned a while back in the corpse disposal post and murder methods post that Razor can be... Brutal to say the least, but to expand more on the concept I feel like there's a big potential for a sort of gap moe with him, a duality that seems to contradict itself. Because in many ways he's a sweetheart, always trying to find things to make you happy, often smiling with those wide, excited eyes, physically affectionate with nuzzles and the like. But the other side of that, he's not actually aware of how... desensitized he is. You notice it early on and it catches you off guard a bit the first time it happens. Some poor little animal you two see struggling, like a bird stuck in a tree, and you urge him to go get it and he nods and says ok. Grabs it, and just as you're about to thank him and let it go you hear its little bones snap under the crush of his grip with a final pained chirp. There, he got it, see? Now you two can eat it together. That was why you wanted him to grab it right? To kill it? Why else? He looks down and realizes oh, it's still twitching, so he reached a hand up and twists its neck. There, now it's dead, he says with a beaming smile. But it falls and he tilts his head when he sees the shocked look on your face. What's wrong? Why are you so upset? You soon learn a lot of the animals don't... die immediately. The little things the wolves drag back are still kicking and struggling, still making noises as they tear into them to devour. It makes you sick to your stomach when you witness it, tears come to your eyes. He knows you don't like it and warns you, but... he doesn't understand why? Why does it upset you like that? He doesn't get it. It's a gnawing awareness in the back of your mind. You start to pick up on his... lack of reactions to certain things. You were once in the church getting healing for a minor wound of his when another group of adventurers came rushing through the doors, desperately begging for help for their friend they were carrying... some guy seriously injured, gored by a boar. The sight is burned in your mind forever, the organs spilling out of his split gut, the shivering and wide, bloodshot eyes, the blood bubbling out of his mouth with choked horrific groans and the way his body convulsed involuntarily. The most horrid thing you'd ever seen. And you were pretty certain it was that way for everyone. Everyone in the church was gasping, some people were retching and trying to hold back sickness, people ran out of the room as they were unable to handle the scene, tears were in everyone's eyes, and as the man wailed in agony from them setting his dislocated bones, you watched the bystanders cringe and wince. Every person in the vicinity was visibly horrified.... except for one. Razor's face was neutral. Curious. He leaned in closer to get a better look, eyebrows raised. He doesn't flinch at the sight of organs spilling onto the ground and the man starting to convulse and foam at the mouth as his eyes roll back into his head. And then, after a moment, he asks if you're ready to leave, says he feels better now and that man is really loud, he doesn't like it. His voice doesn't even have the slightest hint of a wavering or discomfort. When you come across a man in the woods caught in a bear trap, you can barely stand to look at it. Just hearing the cries for help had you shivering, and the sight of the pooling blood and utter agony on the man's face had you gasping, hand over your mouth as you tried to look away. ...Razor didn't seem to mind, though. He just undoes the trap and, without giving the man any warning, yanks it apart, pulling the spikes from his legs. As he does, blood shoots out and splatters on his face. He doesn't flinch, nor when the man screams. He does finally seem to react to the pained groans the man makes. But... It's not like your reactions. He's not flinching and grimacing, drawing in sharp breaths and tensing up, eyes watering in pity and shock like you. Instead, his eyes narrow and he puts his hands over his ears as you stoop down to help the poor man. His eyebrows furrow. He almost looks... Annoyed. He draws his foot back as if he's about to kick him, but freezes with realization when he looks at you, as if he forgot you were standing there, and puts his foot back down. You're certain he wasn't actually going to do that, of course. You're not sure why he did that, but... He wouldn't do something like that, even in a moment of dissociation from his human awareness. He does volunteer to be the one to go get help, though, getting away fast, but for some reason you sense it was more out of irritation at the noise rather than horror at the whole thing. Perhaps the worst was the decomposing body, that day you took a walk in the woods together. He smelled it first, nose wrinkling up in disgust at the putrid smell. But it was strong enough that you smelled it soon after. He says having dead animals this close to the residence of the pack is not good, they all hate the smell, so he can try to move the carcass of whatever animal it is... but it's not an animal, it turns out, once you finally find the source, collapsed at the bottom of a cliff from where they most likely fell to their death. Well, it's kind of a stretch to say it still resembles a human either, but you can tell from the general shape. It's more just like a glob, putrefied and rotting flesh falling off the bones. It shocks you so much you fall backwards, but he just moves closer. Ugh, too far rotted to move, he can't do anything about it, he realizes as he gives the decaying mass a kick and watches the blackened flesh slide off the bones. Oh well. ...In your shock, it takes you a moment to realize how... unbothered he seems. Mildly annoyed by the smell, but his expression is neutral as he looks at one of the most horrifying sights you've ever seen, he just yawns as he walks away from it and says you two should get away from the smell, it makes his head hurt.

The events all linger in the back of your head. A growing sense of wrongness, a dark, cold dread that settles in your stomach as the occurrences slowly grow in number, one after the other, each time you notice the complete lack of any sign of disturbance on his face, in his voice or body language. You ask him once, one time when you get the courage to ask such a... potentially offensive question. Don't you... feel anything when you see things dying? When they're in pain? He nods. He gets what you mean. The feeling when you watch something die. Hungry, right? Oh, no? Maybe you mean the irritation, a kind of angry feeling, what's the word... impatient...? Because the thing is taking too long to die and he wants it to go ahead and die already. Or maybe you mean like when that man was injured? When something is dying but it's not something you wanna eat? Yeah, he has a feeling then too. Um... kind of like anger... you taught him the word once... annoyed? They make so much noise, and he doesn't like loud things. When that man came into the church... he didn't like how loud it was. Why didn't they just kill him, since he was making so much noise...? He doesn't get it. When things annoy him, he kills them, like loud birds and biting bugs. He kinda had an urge to just... reach out and make the man stop screaming, just twist his neck like he does small animals when they make too much noise. But he's smart, he says, he knows the other people might get mad. Yes, he uses the word "might," not "would," as if it was a mere possibility. So it doesn't really come as a surprise when the same attitude applies to the people at his own mercy, the people that get too close to you and end up dragged out to the woods. It's that same knowing dread in your gut, and while it horrifies you as much as it always has, you wouldn't have expected anything else. Maybe some people would feel bad about what they're doing, they would want to go ahead and get it over with, they couldn't take the begging and agony the other party is in... but not only is he totally unbothered, but if he kills him now, he says, the blood will go all over the ground, and that's bad, his lupical like eating the blood in things. So he just snaps the man's bones, that way he won't run away. It's hard to describe the excruciated noises that come out of the other's throat when he does. It's unlike any noise you've ever heard a human make, that kind of pain. The sweat that pours from the other's skin from the agony, the way his mouth hangs open even when he can't scream anymore, the trembling and muffled begging as he moves to the next limb. You tremble and cry. You shiver uncontrollably, you whimper for him to stop. Your eyes widen when he grabs each limb and you close your eyes and sob and grimace and cringe with the snapping sound. Razor, on the other hand, stays just as neutral as before. Face blank and empty, as if performing any other mundane task. He doesn't flinch at the snapping. His expression is unchanging at the sound of screams and the groans as he drags the still-living figure behind him by his shattered ankle all the way back home. When he finally goes to look back at you, he tilts his head at the look on your face. Why do you still look upset? There's no blood yet... isn't it blood that makes you upset? Maybe not? Maybe it's the sound that bothers you? Yeah, you flinch whenever the man groans in pain, so it must be the sounds of the dying things that you don't like, it annoys him too really. Ok, that can be fixed... sound comes from the throat right? Well, he left his claymore a ways away so, it'll just take a second, the guy is thrashing a bit but eventually he holds him still enough to get his teeth latched around his throat and just... bites down. The sound is a squelching, crunching sound, one that you'll never forget, it makes every hair on your body stand on end and your skin crawl. He pulls back with the mass of bleeding flesh and tracheal tissue in his jaws and spits it out on the ground. There, see...? You can see the blood on his teeth reflecting the light as he smiles. He's not making noises anymore, so... why do you still have that look on your face? Is it because the body on the ground is all... spasming and convulsing like that? Well, uh... that'll stop soon, probably. At least it's nice and quiet now. He gets it, really, he doesn't like loud noises either.

[mixelation]

An entire ItaSaku fix-it fic, outlined

So, a while ago @phoenixyfriend reblogged an ItaSaku post from me with the addition (not quoted in its entirety): 

Can I tack on a delightful “Sakura, through a comedy of errors involving the records office and her attempts to locate a file on some obscure disease, finds out about the Massacre conspiracy and gets declared Itachi’s point of contact going forward.”

And I was like “what kind of comedy of errors goes from medical research to Deep Conspiracy” and ended up with a whole-ass fic outline. It’s eventually ItaSaku but you are going to have to s c r o l l. 

The AU is that Orochimaru decides to jump Itachi several years later than in canon. Most canon beats still happen (because we can’t make this TOO complicated for my poor brain), except everything is delayed by a few years and Sasuke stays in the village.

Orochimaru still invades Konoha, because that was about his grudge against against the village. Hiruzen still dies, Tsunade retrieval arc still happens, etc. The main difference is that Orochimaru doesn’t go out of his way to bite Sasuke like a weird vampire, and Sasori is involved bc YES he is always down for killing the Kazekage. He might be excluded from the action because he’s off tinkering with Rasa’s body or something; idk, I just don’t want things to stray TOO far from canon because then everything gets harder to plan.

Itachi still shows up in Konoha to scare Danzo, puts Kakashi in a coma, stalks Naruto to his hotel, etc.

Orochimaru jumps Itachi AFTER the hotel debacle because he’s like “okay, I desperately need a new body, and if we BOTH just fought Jiraiya then we’re probably even”

He’s Wrong

Orochimaru’s betrayal stalls whatever Akatsuki is doing so all their jinchuriki stuff is delayed a couple years

Biggest part of this AU, besides conveniently making the characters older: without a curse mark fucking with his mind, Sasuke stays in the village.

Sakura still asks to be Tsunade’s apprentice; Naruto still goes on his training trip. Sasuke becomes Kakashi’s unofficial apprentice.

Sai gets put on Team 7 as Naruto’s temporary replacement and at first Sakura is ecstatic. Two pretty boys!! Two pretty boys that are dark and mysterious and just her type!!!

But double mean pretty boys is. It’s too much. Sakura hates both of them within a couple months. This kills the girl’s crush.

(She WILL take a kunai to the chest for Sasuke, but also he’s a Dumb Boy)

Yamato still subs for Kakashi as team captain at some point, because Sakura needs to know him for Plot Reasons

Sakura still kills Sasori, but this time with either Sasuke or Kakashi as back-up, because one went after Naruto and Deidara and the other stayed with her. If I were actually writing this, I think I’d make it a Sasuke-Sakura tag team to emphasize how their team dynamic has changed in this AU.

Sakura starts the fight by initiating a fake argument with Sasuke as a cover to pass him an antidote to Sasori’s poison. “Stop coddling me, Sasuke-kun--!!”

Even Chiyo is like: Is she stupid....?

It’s still ultimately Sakura who makes an impression on Sasori, though, because she’s the one who has the antidote to Sasori’s poison. Even Sasuke can’t dodge a hundred puppets worth of projectiles. They’d both be dead without her.

....although chidori might be able to neutralize the third kazekage’s black sand. Sasori is impressed with Sakura’s poison acumen; he’s just deeply annoyed by bastard-child Sasuke. Why. Stop.

The cave gets 572% more trashed than in canon

Anyway, the part that’s actually the story: when they’re around 15, years before the whole Sasori thing, Sasuke gets a weird cough he goes to Sakura about it.

It’s just an out of season cold, but Sakura asks why he seemed so concerned about it. Sasuke casually mentions sometimes Uchiha just get chronic pneumonia and die, and Sakura is like ???

Sakura asks Tsunade about it, and Tsunade is like, oh the Uchiha black lung! Yeah, the Uchiha all have funky lungs that help with breathing fire, but sometimes they just die of respiratory problems and no one knows why

Sakura: What do you mean NO ONE knows?? Tsunade, on her second bottle of sake: Well my theory was that some of them had something wrong with their freaky Uchiha lungs that made them lose resistance to smoke inhalation, but did anyone want to support my research? Noooo, it was “unnecessary in the face of wartime”-- Tsunade, one rant later: Anyway, pretty sure their records just call it a curse. Because NO ONE supports centralized medical care outside of their own village--

Sakura comes away from this conversation with the idea that sometimes the Uchiha magic fire lung just fails, and she wants to know more about it because what if Sasuke’s fail? He’ll have to switch to 100% lightning jutsu, or retrain the way he uses fire to be less dangerous to his lungs.

Sakura starts digging into medical records and notices some discrepancies. First of all, there are some Uchiha registered as civilians who died from chronic pneumonia, which doesn’t make any sense if it’s the result of over-using fire jutsu. Also, there are plenty of fire users in Konoha and the percentage of them who die from chronic pneumonia do not match up with the percentage of Uchiha who die from it, implying there’s probably factors besides “uses fire jutsu.”

Like, it might just be the way Uchiha use fire vs other shinobi, but surely if your lungs stopped working properly, you would stop using fire jutsu....?

Also, she finds out one of Sasuke’s grandparents died of Mystery Disease.

So now she’s thinking Uchiha have some some of genetic disorder that affects their lungs, and Sasuke has a direct relative that had it. Now she’s even more worried.

Obviously, Sakura wants a full family tree to determine Sasuke’s risk, and also she wants access to any records private Uchiha healers kept.

Most of this she gets access to with minimal red tape, but some files just.... don’t seem to exist? And she has no idea why they wouldn’t??

Like, okay, anything regarding Uchiha eyes has a bunch of extra red tape around it, but Sakura is team medic to the last three sharingan left in the village. She knows how to get around all that tape. She’s got the clearance. She’s a pro at filling out request forms.

Most of the non-existent files are on Uchiha Itachi, so at first she’s like, “Well, I guess that makes sense, he is a missing-nin.”

Except it DOESN’T make sense, because she can get Orochimaru’s medical records, and that guy was doing illegal medical experiments on himself (as well as... others. so many others).

(It’s not, you know, EASY to get those files, and Tsunade does call her in like “wtf, kid,” but she gets them. They exist.)

Anyway as part of this test to see if there’s special red tape in place for missing-nin, Sakura is like, “Tsunade-sama, can you just sign off on me getting X files while you’re at it?”

(The Test was like a split decision thing while talking with the records office, which is why she didn’t just go to Tsunade. Also narratively things are boring if it’s all just going to the Hokage LOL)

So now Sakura literally has a “she can do what she wants” card from the Hokage, and the files! Aren’t! Anywhere! She gets access to the records rooms herself, goes through all the confidential hospital and public health records (which includes shit like foreign captive’s torture wounds and bloodline limits, plus way more on Orochimaru’s experiments than she wanted to know), and there’s NOTHING. Where else could they be??

Eventually she ends up breaking into ROOT. Like, she doesn’t know why they would be in there, but it’s the only place she hasn’t checked. She knows Danzo keeps his own freaky records.

She knows this via Sai and/or Yamato

Probably she concludes the medical records are likely to be in there because something something traced other missing files re: Orochimaru back to him.

But probably she also snoops around the old Uchiha compound first because it’s easier to break into. Sorry, Sasuke!!

The records she finds are almost exclusively on eyeball stuff. A bunch of stuff is still missing (word of god: because Danzo grabbed them and then destroyed everything he didn’t need), but Danzo definitely has all these records pertaining to Powerful Eyeballs.

The medical records are mixed in with skill assessments and mission reports and psych eval stuff Sakura wasn’t even looking for. It’s all annotated.

It’s REALLY obvious Danzo was keeping tabs on Uchiha with especially powerful doujutsu. The dates indicate it started years before the massacre and continued.... for months after the massacre....?

Sakura memorizes the names of the Uchiha Danzo was interested in and looks up their death records. All the massacre victims were cremated but the the ones Danzo was interested were processed a week later than everyone else.

Sakura has met Yamato. She knows Danzo dabbled in weird experiments along with Orochimaru.

Did he.... did he just take advantage of the massacre, or had he somehow predicted it?

Infuriatingly: ROOT had no records of Uchiha Itachi either.

Now that Sakura knows what types of records Danzo was messing with, she broadens her search. She starts going through skill assessment reports and post-mission reports and psych evals. She reads through other people’s therapy notes (which.... I imagine are less private in Military Dictatorship Ninja Land than IRL). This is literally years of work, which starts before the whole Sasori thing.

Sakura does find mention of Itachi! But it’s.... not as often as it should be, and it’s usually in reference to him being violent or angry or stressed or threatening someone.

If Danzo scrubbed the records clean of Itachi, but only left “my captain scares me and pushes me too hard and told me I should quit being a ninja if I couldn’t keep up,” then he’s clearly trying to paint a picture.

Sakura does more research. She has exactly one interrogation skill she’s good at, and it’s drinking people under the table. She talks to people who worked with Itachi, and their accounts of him are “brutally efficient, mean and a perfectionist, but also he hated spilling blood and was pretty mild-mannered out of uniform” and “yeah he was a killing machine, but that was just his day job, i was SHOCKED when he killed his whole family. seriously his hobby was visiting tea shops, and he completely wrecked Tanaka’s shit when he suggested we go ‘have fun’ with local civilians”

All this, and she still doesn’t fucking know if Sasuke might have inherited Coughing Up Blood Disease because some asshole destroyed Itachi’s medical records and none of his ex-teammates know shit about it

Danzo is not stupid enough to leave actual record that he instigated the Uchiha Massacre, or that he ever interacted with Itachi. But Sakura has mounting evidence that he either knew about it and failed to act, or he’s using Itachi as a scapegoat

The scapegoat theory is... Sakura doesn’t like thinking about it. They have one witness that says it was Itachi, and that’s Sasuke.

But also who else could it have been? Why cover it up?

(Sasuke is aware Sakura is trying to research his family medical history and losing her mind; NO ONE is aware she’s been breaking in places and drunk-interviewing ex-ANBU and forming Conspiracy Theories)

well, people have noticed she’s been picking on older ANBU in bars because Sakura is not THAT subtle, but no one really thinks that much of it; playing interrogator for Cool Ninja Stories isn’t that weird of thing for young ninja to do

Eventually Sakura takes all her evidence to Tsunade and is like: sooooo....... am I crazy??

At first Tsunade is like: Yes??

But then Tsunade goes into her own special Hokage files and finds.... everything pertaining to the massacre lacking

Look: Tsunade is not stupid enough to think that Hiruzen was completely honest in the notes he left for his successor. She investigated anything that look mildly suspicious to her, but she’s been out of the village since before Itachi was born. She doesn’t know shit about him or the Uchiha head family at the time. Child genius snapped and murdered everyone? Seems reasonable to her, and there’s no evidence indicating otherwise; in fact, she has reports of stress and aggression in Itachi and a pretty thorough investigation implicating him in the murder of Uchiha Shisui...........

........so then why was it a surprise?

How did Itachi snap on a very rare day when all Uchiha happened to be in the village? How did all Uchiha conveniently happen to be in the Uchiha compound, and not out visiting friends or shopping? How could one shinobi-- even one as good as Itachi-- kill so many trained ninja and then flee so quickly, with no one noticing for hours?

FUCK, Sakura, f u c k

(All their conversations go down in Tsunade’s private residence, with no guards to witness and five billion privacy seals from Uzumaki Mito herself)

So... there’s definitely a conspiracy, and Tsunade wants to be as cautious as possible about who else they let in. The first person she ropes into this is Jiraiya because: 1) she trusts him implicitly, 2) spymaster, 3) he’s fluent in Hiruzen’s bullshit, and 4) it’s not weird for him to be in her house so their secret meetings don’t seem too suspicious

Here’s the weirdness going on in Jiraiya’s life:

He’s been getting intel on Akatsuki for YEARS via a contact who also works for Sasori

(some spies..... will just sell information to anyone. this one is like: do you need information on a small country with no ninja? and so jiraiya doesn’t see a problem with the complete lack of loyalty. who cares if other ninja also know about trade economics in this country)

Anyway, this contact is giving him information that is obviously being purposefully leaked. At first Jiraiya thought it was just Orochimaru fucking around (since Orochimaru would also have some access to Sasori’s spies by association, and Orochimaru’s motivates are.... complicated and difficult to predict)

He’s been treating the intel as sort of.... very likely to be a trap, but what he’s been able to verify is all accurate

Then Orochimaru defected from Akatsuki and Jiraiya was still getting info??

So he was like.... I guess Sasori is trying to sell out Akatsuki? The guy does seem pretty vindictive.....

But now Sasori is dead and Jiraiya just got a new message and he’s.... confused

They all conclude that the Akatsuki informant is likely to be Itachi, because no one else has motive to help Konoha, and that they should figure out a way to 1) verify this and then 2) lure him out to get more info on the massacre

Sakura: ALSO HIS MEDICAL HISTORY

Jiraiya decides the easiest way is to arrange a face-to-face meeting. He sends a message that’s basically like: look, I know who you are, but things are getting desperate on our end, and the new Hokage and I have decided it’s better to expedite information exchanges

Sakura: AND ASK HIM ABOUT HIS LUNGS

Itachi replies that he’ll meet with a Konoha representative but not Jiraiya

They figure this is because Jiraiya is one of a very few set of people who could stand a chance in a fight with Itachi.

Sakura volunteers. They debate this for a long-ass time. Sakura is not trained for this sort of thing; her connections to Sasuke and Naruto might motivate Itachi to hurt her, etc. On the other hand, her connections to her teammates might keep her safe from Itachi, because he’d want to manipulate her into giving him information; plus, if not Sakura and not Jiraiya, they’d have to get someone else involved

Tsunade vetos getting more people involved at this time. If Danzo kept this from her, then it’s possible more of his creeping roots are hidden from her. She’s going to do an internal investigation on him, but she and Jiraiya are going to have to very thoroughly vet people they involve in it. It’ll take a lot of time, and they’re going to need their internal investigation team on the ground in Konoha anyway.

So Sakura gets made point of contact mostly by process of elimination u.u

Sakura starts taking more solo missions, mostly related to helping rural areas in the countries surrounding Konoha with medical shit. Most of these missions are real! Some of them are fake. :)

On her fake humanitarian missions, he meets with Itachi in civilian towns and villages because both the profile she built on him via drunk interviews and Jiraiya’s reports indicate he’s reluctant to involve civilians

like, he will, but it’s always very strategically-- like genjutsu-ing that one lady for Jiraiya-- and never random bystanders

Jiraiya always gives her a script and instructions. The first meeting is just to verify his identity. She’s not meant to even mention the massacre until she’s gained his trust. She has to report everything he does and says to Jiraiya and Tsunade to analyze.

The first handful of meetings are.... terrifying and also very stiff and awkward. He verifies he’s been the informant the whole time by repeating what intel he passed on to Sasori’s spy and when. He’s vague about how he actually arranged it, and he’s even vaguer on his motivations.

Eventually, though, Sakura is pretty confident he’s not going to murder her and has the horrible realization that she still has a Type and he fits it perfectly, and they spend all their time sitting together in local cafes under a fucking privacy genjutsu like something out of a cheesy romance movie.

Anyway, being both comfortable with him and having some sort of.... very weird, ill-advised attraction to him... means that Sakura starts trying to do small talk!

Sakura: This sun is so nice after so much rain! Itachi: Yes. Sakura: This area really needed the rain though, I’ve heard. Itachi: Mm. Sakura: Itachi: Sakura: Can I take a lung biopsy? Itachi: Excuse me?

One meeting takes Sakura out of the village for Ino’s birthday, and Ino demands Sakura bring her something back as a gift. So Sakura casually mentions wanting to go souvenir shopping, and Itachi is like, “oh, this town specializes in this type of sweet” and that’s what sakura gets

next meeting itachi is like: did you like your souvenir?

Sakura ofc is like: yes!!

And he.... suggests another local sweet to her and she’s like “??? okay?” but she goes and buys one anyway and it is really good.

Also sometimes he is just.... very soft. He asks her quietly about Sasuke (Sakura has Jiraiya/Tsunade-approved answers for these questions, but sometimes Sakura gives him a LITTLE bit more) and then he goes quiet.... and usually he then goes, “foolish brother, not even worth my time” but obviously this is some sort of cover because he keeps asking

Eventually Itachi just starts taking her to the tea/sweet shops he’s found. It becomes their Thing.

Ino definitely notices Sakura sometimes comes back from missions with a box of sweets or a tin of tea and a dreamy look in her eyes and is like: FOREHEAD YOU MUST TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SECRET AFFAIR IMMEDIATELY

Sakura correctly realizes she fucked up, because now Ino’s suspicious, and Sakura goes and tells Tsunade immediately

(And also: Sakura definitely goes and meets with Itachi, spends more time on casually conversation than intel swapping, they usually eat or drink together, and then he walks her around town and buys her a souvenir)

(Oh no, oh fuck, is she accidentally dating Itachi?)

Tsunade: Hmm... this is good actually Sakura: excuse me Tsunade: Anyone really determined to investigate what you do will realize not all your missions end with a whole village miraculously disease-free..... this is a good cover story. Keep getting souvenirs. Play up the affair. Sakura: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Jiraiya says the essentially same thing but with MUCH more innuendo

Guys it’s a fake dating AU

Akatsuki definitely also think Itachi is having an affair. There are bets on if it’s a man, woman, NB or some sort of creature from the abyss.

Itachi, deadpan: Yes, I am off to meet with my secret lover, with whom I do sex. Kisame: Well, I don’t think Itachi knows what sex is beyond a “shinobi’s tool for emotional manipulation”-- his words exactly-- Kisame: But yes, he’s definitely seeing someone. Kisame: He’s been making lists of tea shops to take them to.

Itachi politely declines the lung biopsy, but at this point we’re past the age he died in canon and his symptoms are getting steadily more obvious and Sakura is like: he has it! He has the Uchiha black lung!!

When they’ve been faking dating long enough, Sakura quietly confesses that she’s done research into the mysterious Uchiha respiratory disease, and she’s terrified Sasuke’s going to develop it

This makes Itachi finally cave. If it could help Sasuke, Sakura can poke at his lungs.

(When she takes samples back to the village, Tsunade is like: you went off script!!! Sakura, you can NOT do that; you do NOT have a proper handler and you need to keep it together.)

“Figure out the mysterious lung disease” quickly becomes Sakura’s priority over the intel. She’s not a recon ninja; she’s a medical ninja. She wants to study and cure* Itachi so that she has the information on hand for Sasuke, or any of Sasuke’s children.

(*it’s more likely she’d develop a way to manage symptoms to increase lifespan and improve quality of life, lbr)

She starts doing things that are-- what do the kids call it-- technically treason: She starts giving Itachi her mission details for her actual solo missions so they can meet more often.

If Tsunade doesn’t want her bringing samples back to analyze in Konoha, then Sakura can find other places to do it. There are clinics all over, and Itachi shows her an abandoned Oto research facility.

Itachi shows up in a rando village infested with leprosy and Sakura just... makes it go away. He goes somewhere they’ve just suffered a mud slide, and Sakura is moving entire trees and fixing injuries like it’s nothing.

He is just..... like, he is just so soft for this. He gets to watch an expert shinobi heal things and create life instead of kill.

......but also Sakura could also crush his skull like a peanut shell and for some reason he finds this very exciting

For Sakura’s part, she’s... really upset with how much she likes Itachi. He respects her and tells her she’s right about things (so sexy), like committing light treason for Sasuke being a good idea. He helps her with non-healing things, like using Earth jutsu to help clear the mudslide, and seems vaguely bemused and surprised when he gets thanks from villagers. He brings her a crow with a broken wing and she barely even yells at him about how she’s a people medic, not a vet.

Also for all his gentleness, Itachi can and will talk mad shit the second other people show aggression. He has no problem using force to solve problems, and he is very good at using force. If he’s not aiming all that at you, it’s..... sort of hot?

At this point, Sakura still hasn’t gotten a definite explanation from Itachi about the massacre, but she’s wholly confident that he was either framed or coerced somehow, and she’s having a moral crisis over it. The idea that the village would potentially turn on someone like Itachi, who was a genius and the heir to a founding clan.... it’s sickening. If the Uchiha could go down like that, any ninja could. She wants to tell Sasuke but she knows it’ll destroy him and his trust in the village. She feels betrayed, and it wasn’t even her family! But Sakura-- unlike Sasuke-- also has a close bond with the new Hokage and is fully confident Tsunade would not do something like this. Sakura is still loyal, even as she feels conflicted about a lot of things she previously believed.

Sakura is starting to crack, and it makes her very protective of Sasuke.

She keeps doing things like forbidding Sasuke from talking to strangers or lecturing him on eating more vegetables.

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, as your medic, I hereby give you permission to use fire jutsu again. Sasuke: Was I.... ever banned from using fire jutsu....? Sakura, patting his shoulder: You’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it. Sasuke: ????

Obviously Sakura and Itachi’s cute meetings have to go to shit eventually. Itachi can’t shake Kisame one time when he’s going to meet Sakura (Kisame doesn’t want to cockblock but he needs to settle some bets, okay), and Danzo has gotten suspicious enough of Tsunade and Sakura that ROOT shows up at the same time

Itachi takes in this situation, and that the only obvious way out is to kill a bunch of (brainwashed) Konoha-nin and genjutsu Kisame, which he would really prefer not to.......

....and comes up with the brilliant alternative of kidnapping Sakura and running

Sakura is not a big fan of being kidnapped, but she’s also become a legend in the smaller countries as a sweet angel of mercy. Nagato and Konan are perplexed by Itachi randomly kidnapping his lover (who... turns out to be a pretty valuable hostage he should have told them about), but also they do approve of her most recent mission work and want her to keep doing in in Rain Country. So being kidnapped is.... inconvenient, and Sakura doesn’t like it and she’s worried about what Danzo is doing in Konoha... but also she doesn’t mind being sent out to heal people and overall it’s not that bad?

She does have to share a room with Itachi, because they’re still Fake Dating (or real dating? unclear)

Itachi, loudly, in front of others, for appearance’s sake: Come, Sakura, let’s go have sex. Sakura, being led away by the hand: I-- you-- EXCUSE ME Kisame, after they’ve left: ......see, he says that, but I bet he’s just going to have her read to him.* Kisame: Theirs is a pure romance. u.u

(*because Itachi is half blind at this point. Sakura should get on fixing that)

(they definitely eventually have sex because a girl has NEEDS. itachi is much more into to being wrestled down onto a bed than either of them anticipated)

Sakura gets sent out on a couple of humanitarian missions around Rain Country, and gets sent with a pair of Akatsuki as babysitters. Imagine Sakura smiling sweetly at you while she administers a B12 shot and Kakuzu is just looming over the both of you. Glaring. Is she really doing this for free?

While Sakura is busy being a hostage, Itachi is able to coordinate with Jiraiya via the spy again. He and Sakura argue over what they’re going to tell Jiraiya.

Itachi: It would be out of character if I didn’t start by trying to trade you for the Nine-Tails. I’m a bad person, Sakura. Sakura: Shut up, I’m afraid you just speaking the words “trade Sakura for Naruto” out loud will summon him. He has a huge hero complex, you know. Itachi: Itachi: You probably shouldn’t have told me that. I’ll use it against him. I’m-- Sakura: YOU’RE A BAD PERSON, I get it!!

Eventually the whole hostage thing comes to a head and Sakura and Itachi have an argument that ends in Itachi confessing why he has to be such a bad person. It’s heartbreaking and horrifying and completely stupid, all at once!

Anyway then the messages from Jiraiya just.... stop. :)

And so do any missions coming out of Konoha. :)

Sakura and Itachi are mutually just like oh,, fuck and throw caution to the wind and go to investigate

Obito intercepts them; Itachi stays to fight him while Sakura continues to Konoha

Danzo has realized ROOT is being probed and Tsunade is on to him; he’s declared her incompetent and staged his own coup

Danzo has essentially zero support from non-ninja, BUT he has a whole-ass brainwashed army, he does have support from some non-ROOT ninja (not anyone in Sakura’s age group, but older ninja consider him to have been essential in the second & third wars and are quick to remember tsunade abandoned them for the third war)

Tsunade has willingly submitted herself into custody to prevent bloodshed and try to use diplomacy; Jiraiya has disappeared somewhere that probably involves keeping Team 7 from doing something rash and Danzo getting his claws into the jinchuriki

Sakura shows back up and is immediately detained; she gets pulled as a witness for some fake-ass trial to let “the people” decide if Tsunade is a competent Hokage or not

Sakura and Tsunade share a look from across the room and are mutually like. You know what. Fuck this.

Hokage Tower was overdo for remodeling anyway!! (SMASH SMASH)

Jiraiya: .....and that’s our signal for our resistance movement to mobilize! Tsunade: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME LOSING MY TEMPER YOUR SIGNAL. WHAT IF I JUST WENT THROUGH WITH MY TRIAL Jiraiya: Tsunade...... we both know you weren’t going to last for than two days

Danzo is killed, and the fighting is mostly contained to ninja with minimal casualties. There’s still distrust among comrades in arms, but it goes better than anyone really hoped. As part of rebuilding the village, Jiraiya and whoever else they tapped for Danzo’s investigation release a statement that Danzo was undermining the village and trying to reignite a war; they issue evidence he colluded with Orochimaru and Hanzo

They do not reveal the massacre. Tsunade includes evidence in her Super Secret Hokage Records so that future generations can decide what to do with the information, but it’s dubbed too dangerous for the public to know at this time

Sakura seriously considers telling Sasuke, but she sees him snickering at some stupid joke Naruto made and she just..... can’t. Not now.

She still doesn’t really get Itachi’s deranged plans and all the lies, but she moves a little bit closer to understanding him.

Itachi, having received expert medical attention for the past year or so, is no longer on his deathbed and kills Obito.

Sakura leaves Konoha ASAP to find Itachi exhausted and injured in some tiny town in Fire Country, but alive and.... more peaceful than she’s ever seen him. It’s like there’s a weight lifted from his shoulders.

(insert shippy moment where they hold each and maybe make-out/have happy relief sex)

Itachi goes back to Akatsuki; Sakura goes back to Konoha

Zetsu disappears from Akatsuki immediately after Obito’s death. It’s implied that Dark Forces are still out there, and Zetsu will be back, but he’s retreated fro now. Without Obito or Zetsu as a mastermind, the compass needle of Akatsuki’s goals slowly starts to shift-- Nagato and Konan are still out to crush the shinobi system as we know it, but they’re more sympathetic to civilians + non-village ninja.

Most of Akatsuki membership is baffled, but Itachi is down with the increase of missions that are just, like, helping people? He doesn’t mind murdering a whole family if they’re the oligarchy of a mining company keeping a village hostage~~

They still ostensibly want to collect all the jinchuriki, but it’s basically indefinitely on the back burner.

Tsunade retires as Hokage a couple years later. There’s still this weird distrust of her after Danzo’s slander campaign, and she got to implement all the structural changes she wanted anyway. Kakashi is voted in and he’s a very uncontroversial Hokage choice.

Sakura is very disillusioned with the shinobi system at this point, even though her loyalty to Konoha remains firm.

She keeps doing her humanitarian missions, and she keeps inviting Itachi on them. It’s nice.

Sakura spends more and more time outside of the village, and Itachi spends more and more time away from Akatsuki. Neither of them ever fully break away from their respective organizations to 100% run off into the sunset together, so they have to work to keep everything fairly hush-hush.... but it’s nice. They’re satisfied with it. 

When Sakura is in the village, she gets even smugger with Ino about her Secret and Very Sexy Affair, and she hints strongly it’s a very romantic and sexily forbidden affair with a hot missing-nin. Die of jealousy of Ino-pig!!

When Kakashi takes over as Hokage, he’s crushed but not particularly surprised to learn the truth about Itachi....... and also now it’s very obvious that Sakura is fucking him.

Kakashi: Sakura....... never tell me about your love life again. I just don’t want to know. Sakura: (GOES BRIGHT RED) Rest of Team 7: ???

Kakashi also thinks about telling Sasuke, but he’s an emotional coward.

The end is happy but I think not conventional for this type of fic. There’s very little change to the shinobi system. Zetsu is still at large, and Itachi is still a despised and disgraced missing-nin. Akatsuki shifts towards more sympathetic, but they’re still a terrorist organization and they still take heinous missions to financially support themselves and flex their power at larger villagers. Sasuke is left in ignorance-- about the painful truth, and about his brother’s love for him, but also he’s happy and Sakura decides that’s good enough.

Sasuke does get weird gifts from Sakura’s travels sometimes. He has no idea they’re from Itachi.

Sakura’s Secret Vagabond Lover is basically a meme in the village at this point. He’s known to be kind to children and to help her on her missions, and no one makes the connection between him and famous evil missing-nin Uchiha Itachi.

Not much actually changes, but the world does get just a little bit brighter, with just a little bit more love.

And YES, Sakura does work out excellent symptom management for Uchiha Black Lung and makes it public knowledge in Konoha for any Uchiha babies down the line.

THE END

[skaterbeth]

the seven + others playing among us

because i fucking love this game 

annabeth 

so good. like. too fucking good 

prefers the imposter role because she is amazing at sabotaging and killing without getting seen 

a master at travelling the vents unnoticed 

very good at making sure she doesn’t form a pattern in who she kills 

only self reports when she knows she won’t be suspicious 

changes her behavior in real life to be less suspicious in game 

percy always gets so offended when she kills him out of convenience 

(“i can’t believe you killed me!” “you were literally in a room alone doing your task it was too easy”) 

memorized every task so she always has an alibi 

when she’s a crewmate she just finishes her tasks and always saves the crew when they imposter sabotages the reactor or something 

is always able to figure out who the imposter because she memorized everyone’s tells like the little shit she is (and percy can’t even lie to her anymore like he’s the worst liar)

wears white 

percy 

is kinda good at being the imposter but definitely kills certain people on purpose 

those people: jason (duh, he liked to piss him off), piper (cause he thinks it’s funny when she’s mad), reyna (bc he considers that a fucking accomplishment he would totally go around camp jupiter telling everyone he killed the praetor), and leo (no explanation needed) 

refuses to kill: annabeth (bc he’s a simp), hazel (bc he loves her too much), grover (🐐) 

people he’s indifferent to killing: frank and nico (but he still feels kinda bad bc my boy is too sweet) 

when he’s the imposter he’s so bad at defending himself 

and annabeth can read him super easily 

so when she accuses him he’s just like “yeah just vote me out lolz” 

when he’s a crewmate he kinda just does his tasks idk 

but he never saves the crew when their being sabotaged cause he doesn’t like that pressure 

always reports the body and immediately goes on the chat like “guys who killed my girlfriend 😡” 

always blames it on jason cause he likes seeing him get mad 

and when it’s not jason percy’s like 🤷🏾

wears blue 

leo 

he’s the most chaotic to play with adskjskdjk 

like 

he’s such a good imposter but he also accidentally brags when he kills someone 

“so who do you guy think it is?” “idk but whoever it was is a really good imposter” “... ok so it’s leo” 

even if he’s not the imposter people vote him out when he’s being annoying 

loves sabotaging 

always kills frank first cause he thinks it’s hilarious 

next would be annabeth because she’s super smart

but everyone tries to kill annabeth first 

doesn’t kill hazel because he thinks she’s too pure 

also doesn’t kill nico

very good crewmate 

always finishes his tasks first 

and when he’s done he just follows people around to freak them out and make them think he’s the imposter 

wears orange 

piper 

also chaotic 

always kills annabeth first but like makes it a point to do it so everyone always knows it’s her 

in the off chance she doesn’t kill annabeth first she always tries to pin it on her 

has definitely accidentally revealed herself as the imposter multiple times 

definitely charmspeaks people into thinking it’s not her 

and it actually works a fair amount of times 

if someone kills her she gets so annoyed it’s so funny 

cusses so much 

like 

they have to kick her out bEcAuSe hAzEl 

but hazel thinks it’s hilarious 

decent crewmate but she definitely prefers imposter 

wears red 

frank 

hates this game 

like 

cannot stand it 

but he doesn’t want to be left out so he plays it 

he hates being the imposter so much 

he doesn’t like to kill people so he just sabotages 

but he’s not very good at that either 

if he ever does kill he always accidentally does it in front of someone or he gets caught immediately 

when someone accuses him it’s super obvious when he’s lying 

but he’s a very good crewmate 

always does his tasks and helps save the crew when things get sabotaged 

will literally watch the imposter kill someone and when he reports it he accidentally says the wrong color 

(this makes it seem like i hate frank i really don’t this is literally just how i play) 

wears brown 

jason 

he’s literally dead he can’t play 

kidding kidding 

definitely still hasn’t figured out the map 

easiest to kill because he just wanders around aimlessly til he finds a task he was assigned 

is so bad at the admin card swipe he gets kicked out (which has actually happened to my brother) 

every time he gets killed the chat fills up with “was it a brick” or just 🧱

leo and annabeth make an animation of jason’s color getting hit on the head with a brick by reyna’s color 

never saves the crew when they’re sabotaged because he can’t get there fast enough and he doesn’t have the ability to do it fast enough anyway 

he’s like an ok imposter? 

idk like there’s not much to say for jason 

wears purple (because camp jupiter. yes he’s that boring) 

hazel 

y’all 

hazel is 

a fucking RUTHLESS imposter 

and no one ever thinks it’s her 

and she loves it 

being the imposter is definitely her preferred role 

always kills leo first 

never kills jason cause she thinks it’s funny to watch him try to play 

but she rarely sabotages 

she just kills 

if she does sabotage it’s the lights 

because she’s smart

self reports all the time and tries to act traumatized by discovering a dead body so no one suspects her 

she’ll always tell nico when she’s the imposter so they’ll pair up but he’ll always vouch and say it wasn’t her 

she always wins as imposter 

and when it’s revealed it’s her everyone is liked 😧

good crewmate 

gets her tasks done and saves the crew when they’re sabotaged 

wears purple (but bc she likes the color not cause of camp jupiter) 

nico 

pretends to hate this game but secretly loves it 

doesn’t really care about being imposter or a crewmate he just likes to watch how everyone else plays/interacts 

if he is the imposter he’ll never kill hazel 

who he kills (in order): leo (just cause he’s annoying), jason, annabeth, reyna, percy, piper, frank, grover, (never hazel) 

definitely makes random accusation because it’s funny 

he’ll never say it but if annabeth kills him he doesn’t care and roots for her to win bc he loves annabeth 

finds percy and annabeth’s banter super entertaining 

if he’s not the imposter he definitely follows people around and freaks them out for fun (specifically jason, leo, frank) 

good crewmate and always saves everyone’s asses 

will call the emergency meeting to say he watched leo kill someone (which he didn’t) or just to be like “yo im hungry y’all want mcdonalds after this?” (they can’t even be mad and everyone definitely gets mcdonalds after) 

wears black duh 

reyna 

mix of annabeth and hazel 

super good at the game and definitely enjoys the killing 

main difference between her and annabeth is that annabeth is more strategic whereas reyna just kills whenever she feels like it 

that being said 

she does kill jason first 

then percy 

definitely hesitates on killing annabeth because she likes her enjoys watching her try to figure out who it is 

annabeth and reyna have an unspoken agreement that when reyna’s the imposter annabeth won’t say anything as long as reyna doesn’t kill her 

i just love reynabeth ok 

master at traveling the vents 

if she’s a crewmate she follows around grover, frank, leo, and jason for fun 

because she finishes tasks fast obviously 

saves everyone’s asses when they get sabotaged 

will randomly accuse leo when she has no idea who it is in the first round 

(the girls all go along with it) 

originally wears blue but she doesn’t wanna match with percy so she switches to white to match with annababe ❤️

grover 

is so bad at the imposter it’s so funny 

but him and percy always partner up and vouch for each other 

but if percy’s the imposter and grover knows he’s very bad at keeping it a secret 

and annabeth knows those two the best out of anyone so she always figures it out 

sometimes she won’t say anything though because those two are dumbasses but they’re HER dumbasses 

he’s so sweet and doesn’t like to kill 

would rather sabotage 

he’ll definitely lock the doors on people cause it’s funny 

good crewmate 

knows the map really well 

never does the tasks to save the crew when their sabotaged cause it stresses him out 

idk what else to say for him lmao 

wears dark green 

when there’s two imposters 

best most dangerous duo: annabeth and reyna 

deadliest duo: hazel and reyna 

most chaotic duo: leo and piper 

boring but funny duo: jason and frank 

chaotic but cute and funny duo: grover and percy 

funniest duo: percy and annabeth (because their banter on the side and the fact that percy gets distracted by how cool his gf is) 

duo that bickers so nothing gets done: frank and leo 

duo that doesn’t work together: jason and percy 

duo that no one expected to be really good together: nico and annabeth 

stealthiest duo: hazel and nico

duo that would expose each other: leo and percy 

(i’m tagging @tridentgum because i remember you asked for this lmao)

[caswellprmanager]

suspended

read it on ao3!

Summary: Ricky is afraid of heights. Nobody knows this.

Notes: This is purely a vent fic in response to 2x10 bc I have pent up feelings that I make Ricky feel instead. Richard Bowen bb I'm so sorry 😩 Anw don't read if you haven't watched the latest ep as there are major spoilers!

Warnings: Mentions of injuries

---

Ricky isn't the most open person – that part he's sure everybody is aware of – and he kind of likes it that way.

Every time Ricky has laid his heart out for anyone, pain follows not too long after. As much as people love to tell him that getting hurt is just a part of life, it does not mean he has to just let it get past him like it was nothing. He's a teenager. He has intense emotions and raging hormones. Shouldn't he be allowed to be upset?

No, apparently.

Because according to everyone else, he's not allowed to be upset that his parents split up. He's not allowed to be upset after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's not allowed to be upset at literally anything because the show must go on, right?

They don't say it out loud. They wouldn't dare. But Ricky feels it deep down that they just want him to get his act together before opening night. They don't know how to help him and he understands that but... it would be nice if they tried.

No one has really tried to get to know him on a deeper level. Sure, he can say that Big Red is his best friend and that Nini is the only other person who gets him but... there are parts of him that he hasn't told either of them. Not for lack of trying – he's tried several times to open up more after all. But being completely vulnerable is still entirely new territory for him.

And one of the things he's never told anyone – not even Big Red and Nini – is that he's terrified of heights.

There was one time when he was a kid, he liked to climb trees like a monkey. And as a kid, his curiosity on how high he could climb got the best of him. One thing led to another and then he found himself crying to his mom about a broken arm and a bruised hip.

Ever since then, he's been afraid of heights.

He tampered it down when Miss Jenn suggested that Troy be suspended in midair for Getcha Head in the Game. She was so excited for it and Ricky was still very much the new kid in the club – so he couldn't say anything. And Miss Jenn has been lovely to him, letting him go home when he wasn't emotionally or mentally at school or rehearsals.

So Ricky just let himself be strapped to the harness and sing his heart out — until he saw his mom with Todd in the audience.

Then, the harness seemed to suffocate him, squeezing at his ribcage despite it being not that tight. Suddenly, the ground beneath him seemed a million feet away and that if the rope broke he'd be fucking dead on impact. Suddenly, the air was thinner, his head was spinning, and he was trying to tell EJ with his eyes that he needs to get down or he's going to die.

There were other things to worry about during the show so he never really did get to bring that up afterwards. Eventually, Ricky forgot about the whole thing after blissfully being back with Nini officially.

Life was fantastic.

Then life suddenly... was not.

The second break-up was hard enough, even if he was the one to initiate it. Now, they're only one day close to doing tech rehearsals and they don't have anything cohesive. Miss Jenn looked like she was about to have an aneurysm, Carlos basically had one hand holding a clipboard and another hand on 911 speed dial, and everyone else visibly cringes every time Ricky speaks his lines.

So yeah. Not a very good time right now. Ricky wants to disappear completely.

And then... they had to suggest that they, once again, suspend him in midair during the transformation. This is essentially Ricky's worst fucking nightmare.

But he wasn't part of the viral intagram clapback against North High, wasn't even there for more than half of act two back in HSM, and everyone just isn't in the mood for any complaints Ricky might have... Even if it's about a fear that brings up one of the worst memories of his childhood. And Ricky desparately still wants to be considered as part of the team.

Yeah. No. It isn't a big deal. Not at all.

Just strap on the harness and wait for the nightmare to be over, right?

Wrong.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion — the snapping of the rope, the screams from his castmates, the sound of hurried footsteps only seconds too late before Ricky lands on the floor with a sickening crunch. Big Red is the first one by his side, followed by EJ, both of whom instruct everyone to stand back and call some medical help. He vaguely hears Nini speak on the phone with someone but the sharp pain that is coming from somewhere on his body intensifies with each movement.

Ricky can't even see straight and the searing pain of what is most definitely a few broken bones is so intense that he can't help screaming when EJ tries to move him.

"FUCK!" He screams when EJ attempts to move his leg. Well that one is definitely broken... Is it supposed to bend like that? Both Big Red and EJ put their hands up, signaling to everyone else not to touch Ricky.

Ricky tries to move his arm and cries out again. It isn't as bed as his leg but it's at the very least sprained. Big Red reassures him that someone is on their way to bring him to the hospital but Ricky can barely focus on his voice.

The next time Ricky is conscious enough to comprehend what's happening around him, he hears arguing from the other side of... wherever he is. He sits up, blinking rapidly in order to adjust to the dim lighting, and realizes with dread that he's actually in the hospital.

"Ricky! You're awake!" Big Red's voice comes from his left and he sees the rest of the gang follow him at his declaration. Ricky's skin crawls ever so slightly at seeing all of their worries faces. He doesn't need pity or guilt right now.

God he just wants to be alone.

But does he really?

"You broke your leg and sprained your wrist in two places." Nini said to him – the first full sentence she's said to him directly since the break-up – and Ricky doesn't know what to do with that. There's a ringing in his ears and he can't get it to stop.

Then everyone else started talking, taking turns about how worried they were before the doctor told them the news. He could barely even make out their words as they sound muffled in his head. He wants to say he's okay. He wants to say that everything will be fine and that he'll be back onstage in no time.

But the reality is that none of this has ever been fine for him.

"I'm afraid of heights."

His voice was soft, restrained, and thick with tears he'd rather not shed in front of all these people. But even just the sound of his voice right now stopped the rest of them mid-sentence. They process this new information with mouths gaping and eyes widened in more white hot guilt.

"You never told me that." Nini says first, almost accusatoy and a little sad. Ricky scoffs and leans back to bury the side of his face in his pillow.

"You never asked." Ricky replied simply and the weight of his words fell on the rest of the group.

You never asked.

They never asked if he was okay with the harness.

They never asked if he was okay even with all that pressure as the lead.

They never asked if he was okay with any of it.

Maybe he can argue that he never spoke up but the damage has been done and all Ricky wants to do now is sleep for a long time.

"I'm afraid of heights." He says again, allowing a few tears to fall down his face at the admission, not even trying to see any of his friends' reactions. "Can you all leave me alone please?"

He doesn't start sobbing until the last person leaves the room.

Ricky isn't the most open person – that part he's sure everybody is aware of – and he kind of likes it that way. He's not always the first to reach out.

But it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt just as much when no one does the same for him.

[voiceless-terror]

would you consider writing me some precanon jongeorgie angst. bc i imagine they probably bonded over their interest in the supernatural but never. you know. actually talked about their personal experiences/trauma. just give me a little of both of them handling that trauma very badly while never admitting their closest brush with the supernatural. or something. idk.

Hello anon! I haven’t written Jon/Georgie yet, but this prompt was too good to pass up. Hope you like!

Being with Georgie was easy. It shouldn’t have been, not for him.

But it was.

She carried herself with the utmost surety: of her opinions, of her feelings, of her place in the world. It wasn’t arrogance, more like confidence and something else Jon couldn’t quite put his finger on. There was a blankness in her eyes sometimes. Not an absence of feeling but an absence of...understanding, maybe. Of empathy. Georgie saw the world in black and white; she knew exactly what was right and what was wrong. She was blunt. She bulldozed over others in conversations, pointed out flaws that polite society knew to overlook and not name. Jon admired it, as much as it made him cringe.

But it was complemented by her fierce capacity for loving, her clever, teasing words, the way her fingers ran through his hair when he was stressed. That black and white view could quiet his mind like no other- ‘yes, Jon’, ‘no, Jon.’  She listened to his incessant rambling, nodding in the right places and adding her own commentary. She filled out the crosswords in the morning, her brow furrowed in concentration, colorful nails tapping at the table. She never wanted help, stubborn to a fault. Her dark skin ethereal in the morning light, the way her voice was low and croaky before her coffee. The ease with which she said ‘I love you.’ 

He remembered the day she first approached him, all ripped-tights and smudged, smoky eyeshadow. Just leaned against the wall on that chilly fall night and snatched the cigarette right from his hand, an eyebrow flicked upward as she took a drag. He couldn’t get a word out, just silently took her phone when she offered it and typed in a number with shaking hands. A year later and she was still that same girl, though he’d seen her stash of manga and her weird cat memorabilia. She was whole, real. It was comfortable.

“I’m not really sure if I should go.” They’re curled up on the couch, Jon leaning into the warm bulk of her. “All of the others are going, though.”

“It’s not like you’re close, right?” Jon’s petting the Admiral, the new addition to the household fitting in seamlessly. “I’m sure she won’t take it as an insult. You can always say you’re busy. Who was it, again? Her father?”

“Yeah.” Georgie’s shifting against him, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. It’s odd- she’s not usually so awkward about these things. If there’s something she doesn’t want to talk about, she shuts it down right away. This seems...different. “And no, not close. But everyone else is going- they want to show their support, I guess. It would be awkward if I didn’t.”

Perhaps Georgie didn’t like funerals. You’re not supposed to, of course. Maybe it was a phobia, a perfectly valid one. Plenty of people don’t like to see the reminder of death laid out before them. Jon’s been to a few in his lifetime- for his Gran’s friend, for a distant cousin.

For his parents.

He doesn’t remember his father’s, he might not have even gone. He was only two at the time. He distantly remembers his mother’s; it wasn’t well attended, he sat in the front row with his Gran. He doesn’t even remember crying, if he even realized the thing in the box was his mother, dead and gone.

Needless to say, he understands Georgie’s sentiments. “You don’t have to go, not if...not if you don’t like it. Plenty of people are uncomfortable with death-” This was the wrong thing to say, for Georgie tensed instantly, leaning away from him.

“That’s not it at all,” she says, snatching her legs out from where Jon’s leaning comfortable against them. “It’s- it’s the performance of it all. All those people standing around a body, sniffling and moaning-”

Jon tried for levity, bristling at her tone. “People grieve, they need closure-”

Georgie snorted, this time shoving him away on the couch, the Admiral jumping from Jon’s lap at the movement. Her words became impassioned, as if Jon needed to know, needed to understand. “Cremate them, then! Say a few words, scatter the ashes, whatever. But having the body on display like that?” She gets up, starts to pace. Jon’s never seen her like this. “Paint the corpse, dress it up, pretend it’s a person still but it’s not, and everyone’s just standing there around it, praying over it and watching it like it’s not just rotting meat you put lipstick on-”

“Georgie!”

“I can’t stand it.” She stops in front of him, chest heaving and eyes aflame. “What’s so monumental about it? We live, we die- and her father was old, it was bound to happen sometime. No need to make such a to-do. It’s- it’s just disgusting, is what it is.” She didn’t continue, and an awkward silence permeated the room. 

Georgie got worked up about things on occasion. But the wild look in her eye, the total sense of incomprehension was...disconcerting. He agreed with her on certain points, of course, but the vehemence behind them- something wasn’t right. But it didn’t feel right to pry, either, and Georgie surely wouldn’t appreciate it.

“You could just say you’re busy, you don’t have to go,” he tries tentatively. She seems to deflate where she stands, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. So he stands up, taking her hand in his. She lets him, but doesn’t meet his eyes. “But if you do, I can come with you. If you’d like.”

They stand in the very back row of the church after awkwardly greeting her grieving coworker. Georgie’s nails dig painfully into his arm, but he says nothing. They leave after ten minutes and stop at an Indian buffet on the way home. He silently watches her dig into a curry, his own untouched.

___________

When she first met Jon, she thought he was utterly out of her league.

It was her first semester back at school, she was an absolute fucking mess- drinking at all hours, barely present in her classes. She was out at the bar with a few new friends, most of whom she’d already forgotten the names of, and saw him standing there under a single flickering lamp, a cigarette dangling from long, slender fingers, raven hair back in a messy bun. Not many people could pull that off but he looked almost effortlessly cool (a thing she’d later find laughable for ever thinking) in his dingy leather jacket, his eyes far away and shadowed. She wondered what made him lose sleep. He had an odd, crooked little smile on his face and she was filled with liquid courage. The look he gave her when she took that cigarette out of his hand made her knees weak, and he took the proffered phone like he was only a little impressed. She sent a text to his phone and left, so embarrassed she went straight home.

He never did text her. To be fair, she never expected him to.

But she found him not two days later, hunched over a table in the campus library. She did a double take- surely this couldn’t be him, her impossibly handsome, silent figure who she surely dreamed up. But there was no mistaking that hair, those eyes. He was smaller, somehow diminished in his baggy jumper and wire-rimmed glasses, tapping a pencil against his textbook in irritation. Before she knew it she found herself picking up her phone, sending a text to the number with no name. And sure enough, his phone buzzed.

They went out on their first date a day later.

Jon was a ball of nerves, awkward and not at all like the man she thought she met that night. Somehow, the real Jon was better. She liked the way he blushed and stammered, the way a touch of her hand left him flustered and unable to speak. The way he could talk for hours about nothing at all, making even the most dull of subjects seem interesting with that voice of his- a voice surely meant for radio or T.V., something Jon himself endlessly scoffed at whenever she brought it up. They would sit in front of the telly for hours, marathoning ridiculous ghost hunting shows and pointing out the obvious fakes. Jon had a weakness for ghost stories, just like she did. “Most of them are absolute drivel, of course,” he said.

Most of them. 

They found comfort in each other, their small island of two, had no need for other company. Georgie had never been able to relate to someone so well, not since Alex, and Jon was never fond of crowds. Three months in he tried to break up with her, saying he could never give her what ‘she needed’ but she stopped that in its tracks- Georgie would be the one who decided what she did and didn’t need, thank you very much. She liked the way he leaned into her on movie nights, like her touch was the only thing that mattered. The sincerity in his eyes whenever he complimented her in that earnest, awkward way of his. He challenged her when he thought she was wrong, sometimes their fights lasted days. But they always came back to one another, each knowing they had no one else who understood them. Was it healthy? Georgie couldn’t answer that, she didn’t know herself. Jon probably didn’t either. But she loved him, in her way. 

That night they have a few glasses of wine, and Jon’s regaling her with some ridiculous story from his youth- apparently he was somewhat of a delinquent, wandering about at all hours. She laughs in delight, imagining a small, serious Jon climbing fences and evading the law. But suddenly Jon stops, his eyes going wide and his face growing ashen as he stares unblinking at the table.

It’s a spider- a tiny thing, really. Georgie’s been seeing a lot of them lately, and she really should be better about dusting the place. But Jon- Jon looks absolutely terrified, like the thing’s bound to leap out and kill him. She opens her mouth to tease, an instinctive reaction, but is instead startled by the loud smack of a hand against the table. Jon had smashed it certainly, but he lifts his hand and stares at it in wide-eyed horror, as if whatever he sees is nine times worse than the original thing.

“Jon-”

The chair hits the ground as he stumbles to her bathroom with heavy, labored breathing. She gets up slowly, approaching as quietly as possible to find him hyperventilating against the sink, the faucet on full blast as he washes his hand- scratches it, really. He’s mumbling frantically under his breath.

“...so many legs, get off, get off-”

She makes her presence known as not to startle him, approaching from the side and gently wrapping a hand around his arm once she sees him drawing blood. He starts anyway, his movements jerky and frenzied as he rips his arm away like her touch burns.

“It’s just a spider Jon,” she says softly, lifting her hands to show she means no harm. “It’s okay, you got it, it’s dead now-”

“But what if it isn’t!” He spits, slamming his hands on the marble rim of the sink and leaving bloody prints in his wake. He’s breathing so fast she thinks he might pass out. “What if it isn’t?”

She has no answer to that.

It takes about two hours, a hot shower and a stiff drink for him to calm down. They lay on the couch, watching something stupid, mind-numbing. She runs her fingers through his hair. He always liked that. She doesn’t say a word, he’s exhausted, and she knows from experience that pushing him will just lead to another fit like before. The next day, he brings her Hungarian by way of apology. They eat in a more comfortable silence, Jon gradually warming up as the evening goes on. Still, she doesn’t ask.

She spends the weekend cleaning her flat, standing on a chair and vacuuming at the cobwebs.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28440474

[square-blunt]

You're in my heart, in my heart, in my head.

The normal empires fic in which shit goes from 0 to -100 to 100 and back to -100 in like, 2000 words. Scott ruins shit bc he's a dumbass in love. Jimmy watches him die. Y'know, the normal fic you'd see on the empires tag. This is a Minecraft Roleplay.

TW- MCD (major character death), Gore, (blood. and like, big knife mention). Angst. there is so much angst- emotional mental physical, it's all that shit. Sacrifice, screaming, crying, and they kiss so that's fun but y'know.

WC: 2009

Ao3: :) Second Chapter: :)

Scott knows something is wrong. He feels that pit in his stomach- familiar emptiness that clouds his vision and his mind. His feet start to move forward. He knows- he knows something's happening.

He knows Jimmy is in trouble.

He hasn't been in Mythland much- but somehow he cuts through trees and knocks over stands almost like he knows exactly where he's going and nothing was gonna stop him from getting there. It's getting dark- that's weird it was just noon-

Scott looks up to see where the sun is. 'This can't get any worse,' he thinks. You're never supposed to fight a demon when there's a solar eclipse, everyone knows that-

Scott hears a scream. It sends his heart up into his throat- that's Jimmy. Scott sprints forward and bursts through the treeline and he's at Sausage's summoning circle- no- no no no-

The sight is terrible. Sausage- his body is practically decaying under the weight of corruption- of possession. Xornoth's possessed the man he once saw as a friend. And Joey's by his side, a book in hand, chanting in elvish. They've crafted an obsidian altar- and writhing in chains, desperately trying to free himself is Jimmy. Tears are streaking down his face, his terror radiating off of him in waves.

Xornoth raises something above their head as the moon fully covers the sun- its last light gleaming off the object- it's a ritual knife.

They're going to sacrifice you- I don't want to lose you. He can hear Jimmy’s voice as clear as day.

Scott screams out a time-shattering “Stop” before he can get a hold of himself.

Everything does stop. Time, space, reality- it feels like Scott’s heart has stopped, too. Sausage looks at him with eyes that aren’t his own; Joey looks at him as well, but his eyes hold no rage or fear, only smugness. His eyes are drawn away as he catches Jimmy’s face. It goes from happiness to confusion, to heartbreak, back to confusion, and then to pure fear.

“Stop,” Scott says it a little quieter this time. His voice rings out against the stilled breeze. There are no birds, no nature, everything around them is either dead or too terrified to make a sound. Xornoth tilts his head, slowly and concerningly calmly. “Step away from him.” Scott’s hand finds itself on the hilt of his sword. Not like there’s much that could do, but he has to do something.

Xornoth laughs. It sounds like Sausage.

“Scott-” Jimmy says, and immediately cries out in pain. Scott looks up- Joey was the one to twist his arm. Under any other circumstances, Scott would have lunged forward and sunk his sword into Joey’s skull, but since Xornoth is still holding a very painful-looking ritual knife, Scott stays put.

“Jimmy, don’t say anything-” Scott begins, his voice tight with panic. Xornoth speaks up before he can continue, Scott’s heart dropping in his chest. His voice sounds like Sausage, too.

“Brother, have you come to replace your lover from another life?” Xornoth’s voice is suffocatingly rich with sarcasm and fake pity.

Scott can’t answer. He opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He doesn’t- he can’t look at Jimmy.

“I know you remember, great champion of Aeor, I know you do.” Xornoth grins, their face contorting.

“I do, and I have,” Scott says, finally getting over the lump in his throat. The lump comes back tenfold as Xornoth’s grin grows impossibly wider.

“Scott- no- what-” Jimmy begins to say, but Joey quiets him with another yank on his restraints. Xornoth puts a hand out, and Joey drops the ropes.

“You know what I need, brother,” Xornoth says, their voice eerily emotionless.

“Scott- don’t do this-”

“Jimmy, please,” Scott says, closing his eyes to keep the tears at bay, he can’t give Xornoth his own humanity.

“Scott-” Scott winces as Jimmy’s voice breaks. Jimmy doesn’t know, he can’t remember-

Scott takes a deep breath, and once again, speaks before he can tell himself to stop.

“I, Ellinair, take the place of this man so that he might live free of pain or suffering for the rest of his life.” Scott needs to make sure that Jimmy gets off free, with no strings attached. So Xornoth can’t hurt him after he’s gone.

“No- Scott, what have you done- why-” Jimmy sits up, some of the ropes have disappeared but he still can’t leave the altar.

Xornoth laughs- it doesn’t sound like Sausage anymore.

“A great elf with a great future who was stolen in the night and thrown into an arena for the devil’s delight. And you fell in love. How cute!” they snarl, “Unfortunately, as you died, you were whisked away from our grasp. I had to find you again, and wasn’t I lucky that I found your husband instead? And, better yet, without your protection! It was so easy, brother, to just come in and take him. To use him. Sweet, dopey, stupid Jimmy. Why would he be the one tied to that dragon? I kill him, and nothing will happen other than a shortage of slimeballs and a few tears. The only use for him was that he was close to you. He’s nothing but a pawn to get to you. And you, in your blind devotion, played right into my hand. I was never going to kill him, it would honestly be too much effort to do so. I was never going to kill him. I was only threatening to kill him so you would change places with him, so Exor could finally triumph over his brother. You are weak, Ellinair, in your love, in your loyalty- or lack thereof. You always were weak. And now I’ve won. Exor has won because you fell for a mortal. Because of a flower. It’s sickeningly amusing, I must say. But unfortunately, it seems that your time is drawing to a close. Lesser, you may release the ‘bait’.” Xornoth ends their monologue with a direction Scott takes a moment to realize is for Joey, who follows it immediately. Jimmy, now free, lurches off the altar like it was burning him alive. He rushes over to Scott, questions bubbling up and out of him. His hands move to hold Scott’s, but Scott isn’t exactly... present. But he can still hear Jimmy. How he wishes he couldn’t.

“Scott- Scott what’s going on- I thought you- what’s going on? Why did you- Scott- why did you take- what-” Jimmy asks, clutching at Scott’s hands. Scott hangs his head, Jimmy immediately stops and lets him talk.

“Jimmy... you don’t know what you mean to me,” Scott says, tears threatening to fall, he can’t make eye contact with Jimmy.

“I think I can guess, at least,” Jimmy says, voice tight, cupping Scott’s face. Scott still can’t look at him.

“They’re right-” Scott begins to say- before Jimmy tilts Scott’s head to face him and kisses him. It takes Scott a second for his heart and his head to catch up to it- but Jimmy’s kissing him. Finally, after what feels like eons apart, he’s kissing him again. Scott kisses him back like he’s the air he’s gone without breathing for so long- Scott’s been without him for so long- and just when he’s got him back... he quite literally sold his soul for this. Time stops again- this has happened way too many times for it to be normal but Scott wishes it would stop forever. Seconds turn into minutes and it’s like the gods have finally taken pity on him and given him time to give everything he can. He’s sold his soul for Jimmy, and he’s never gonna get to see him again. The tears become too much, and they fall- but Scott would rather die now than break the kiss, so Scott’s tears stain both their cheeks. The kiss tastes the same it always did, like Jimmy, and it was heart-achingly familiar.

Scott can’t live without it.

Funny.

He won’t live much longer anyway.

He is hyper-aware of Jimmy’s grip on him, on his face, in his hair, holding him close like they would melt together if they could.

Maybe Jimmy needs him as much as Scott.

And fuck, he needed Jimmy.

He needs to feel as much of Jimmy as he can before all he feels is a knife through his chest.

But right now all he cares about are the hands on his chest where the knife will go- the hands that are gonna be gone soon- Scott hasn’t been counting the seconds how long has it been- how long has Jimmy been kissing him- how long has he been kissing back- how long do they have left? Scott wraps his arms around Jimmy, trying to become inseparable- and Jimmy just holds onto him tighter. One of them sobs into the other- and all Scott can think is I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you- and he hopes Jimmy can hear him.

They both can hear a sickening crunch, instead.

As time crashes back into Scott's reality like a freight train, a number of things happen in rapid succession.

Jimmy is torn away, crying out in pain. It's familiar. Scott's tears break their dam and his vision is blurred- but he can still see Jimmy, sweet, dopey, beautiful Jimmy.

As Jimmy gets jerked backward, his and Scott's grip tightens on each other, and Jimmy's screams of agony make Scott want to throw up.

It takes everything Scott has to stay in place and keep Jimmy with him.

"'Scott something's on my back- something's hooked into me-"

"Jimmy- don't let go- please, please don't let go- I love you, please-"

"I won't- Scott- don't- I love you, too, I love you, too-"

Something cold sinks into Scott's shoulder, sending searing hot pain across his body- and making his arm go limp.

Scott and Jimmy are ripped apart from each other.

Scott screams for Jimmy and thrashes around, trying desperately to free himself, sobs ringing in his skull and fear and pain and regret raking through his body- but he refuses to stop looking at Jimmy, and Jimmy still looks at him. He catches a glimpse of what’s hooked onto Jimmy's back- it’s a massive tendril of corruption, and now it's holding Jimmy suspended in the middle of the air- it looks like it hurts him to breathe, much less call out Scott's name, but it's all in vain.

Scott knows he's going to die.

He gave his word.

But that doesn't mean he's not going to try and get away.

He needs to get away.

He needs to scream and cry and writhe and brace himself against the altar that whatever's hooked into his shoulder is trying to drag him onto.

He needs Jimmy to know how sorry he was because he’s gone and fucked it all up now. He thought he’d be able to play it off to Jimmy as ‘you don't deserve to die in my place' but when Jimmy looked at him with pure heartbreak and fear in his eyes he knew that he was doing it to save him.

Not the world.

Jimmy was his world.

Scott loses the fight and is dragged up onto the altar, where tendrils of dark crimson threaten to bury him alive, and one-handed he tries to swat them off. He can feel his power draining, he knows Joey's probably chanting again, but all he hears is Jimmy. He looks back, and Jimmy is still struggling and sobbing and Scott has to keep fighting to stay alive as long as possible just to be able to see Jimmy for as long as possible.

But the tendrils are growing in number, and Scott can’t keep all of them at bay and slowly he’s overtaken and restrained. The metal hook still sits painfully in his shoulder as his energy drains with his blood, he’s lost the power to scream.

Jimmy hasn’t.

Scott hangs onto that.

Scott hangs onto Jimmy’s screams, his sobs, his ‘Please stop’s, his ‘why him’s, Scott hangs onto the feeling of rage- at his brother and their tool hurting Jimmy like this- but the rage stays heavy on his chest. Rage and fear and pain swirl in his mind and every other emotion drains out of him.

All he knows is terror.

All he knows is Jimmy’s sobs.

He knows that he has seconds left- Xornoth’s probably already gotten the knife back up above his head.

All Scott can offer to Jimmy, all that he has left, is a weak smile of comfort before every sense he has cuts out.

Scott can’t see Jimmy.

He can’t hear Jimmy.

He’s failed everyone he’s ever known.

[wrongwaterbicycle]

Hi! Fav moments from each member of the gang? (Here from your analysis- you hurt me in a good way)

u've opened a can of worms anon bc im fully abt to give u five moments for each and an additional 5 Group Moments. this was hard to narrow down and there is so much sunny that i def left some gems out but thank u for giving me smth fun to do lmao. in no particular order bc im not THAT strong.

this is an extremely long post.

DENNIS-

in high school reunion when he's wandering through the gymnasium just shouting at nothing in particular bc hes still making his dramatic exit but has run out of things to say

the scene where he's trying to flirt with that girl by telling her abt how his sister farts a lot and he like cant figure out why it isn't working

"superman? oh, cool, well he was the original."

his face when opening the rpg. the way he hides behind it so no one else can see him but mac. thats good shit.

BOYS ARE OUT TONIGHT, HUH

DEE

everything she does in mac and dennis manhunters. every single thing.

the way she just unhinges her jaw and screams at the top of her lungs when shes talking about lighting that girl on fire in college

when she pushes the flight attendant away w her foot in gang beats boggs

"JUST GET IN THE GODDAMNED CAR YOU FAT FAT ASS FAT FAT ASS"

this

MAC

his dance in mfhp. nothing is better than that.

"GOD DAMN IT, I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF UNLESS THROUGH ANGER AND PERSONAL ATTACK!"

i'm pretty sure charlie (macsboys) pointed this out in a tag but i have never stopped noticing it- every time the gang has a chugging contest in the history of the show mac loses. what a baby man i adore him.

his whole speech to god in goes to hell. like even in what he thinks is a seriously important moment he is a Straight Up Fool, talking to god abt song and dance and shit.

every interaction he has with either of his parents on the show but most specifically the dynamic with him and mrs. mac, like when he tells charlie about how she leaves a cigarette burning outside the church he sounds about 8 years old.

CHARLIE

chicken sandwich no beak..... no beak i love him sm

all of his songs. how do i narrow down charlies songs??? you cant. i can't. no one can.

instead of just saying like hes thinking out loud or having Thoughts or whatever when mac and dennis ask him why he's talking to himself in spies like U.S. he ??? makes up that story abt a spider living in his ear and sending him his thoughts????? his fucking mind.

how can i neglect to mention WILDCARD BITCHES YEEEEEHAW

"great, i was hoping you'd say that. let's kill ourselves."

FRANK

the couch is his most iconic moment so it's going first, i don't care if that's overdone tell me you didn't nearly choke to death laughing the first time you saw it

the entirety of the ongo gablogian bit

his ferry tour ???? when he says the schuylkill river is full of strange creatures and dead bodies ????? like he isn't wrong

the go for it song!!! ever since that post about it recently i've been noticing it pop up in other episodes and i never realised how often frank is just.... go for it go for it go.... go for it go for it go..... the most obvious one is in PR nightmare i think bc it's the FIRST thing that happens in the cold open

"YA UNZIPPED ME! IT'S ALL COMIN BACK YA UNDERSTAND?! IT'S ALL COMIN BACK!"

okay and honourable mentions of Group Moments

the end of the gang escapes 🥺 theres no fakeout dee just. gets the steak. she gets to bite the steak first. i love episodes that end on a gang vs. the world note.

"the bar is where we belong, we can hide from the world at the bar!" gets me every time. like it sure is charlie.

dee and frank teamup episodes are always fun to me idk, any time frank has ever said "that's my girl" on the show i cried. but also it does very much make me realise he's never had one of those moments with dennis. let's just stop thinking abt that for now-

hucking rocks at trains 💕💞💓💖💕💞💕💓💕💖

OBVIOUSLY i have to mention near the end of goes to hell pt.2 where they all hold hands, accept death as long as it comes while they're together, and then physically fight each other to get to safety when they realise there's a way out. if that's not their whole group dynamic idk what is.

thank u sm anon and if you made it to the end of this post your reward is u get to watch charlie's butt dance. which also is one of my fav gang moments.

[misterghostfrog]

So I was reading someones post about what if Jon went back in time to save everyone, and he managed it. He kept Martin away from Prentiss, he Kept Sasha alive, Tim never even know the unknowing existed and he never had Jons paranioa to ruin him. But They never knew, there was never those moments of bonding between the terror. Martin never had that moment when he realized Jon wasn’t just his shitty boss. And sure the assistants were close, but there was no room for Jon. And it gave me thoughts.

Under the cut bc I started to Ramble and it got Long, warning; its Big Sad Hours down there. No happy endings here.

Jon solves all these problems before they start, he fixes it without anyone ever knowing. The assistants are blissfully unaware, maybe he stops sending them on ‘real’ statement followup. The archives are a normal, safe job for all of them. Sometimes it gets too much, pretending he doesn’t know them. So he’ll record, mostly for himself. Sometimes for them, though he’ll never share. He sticks them all in Gertrude's old storage locker, where he knows they’ll never be found.

And then something goes wrong. He knows the unknowing can’t work, of course it can’t. But Nikola doesn’t, none of the avatars know. And Nikola still wants her skin. She still wants his skin, actually. And she’s not afraid to play dirty to get it, she’s hands-on like that. Because why stop at the archivist when he’s got so many lovely ignorant assistants?

So he fixes the problem before she can make good on her threats, she can’t be killed that easily. He knows. But she died during the unknowing, and there are some pretty simple steps to follow to replicate that result. He knows the easiest way to make sure it works is also a death sentence for him. But that’s a simple choice to make. Alright no, it’s not. He’s terrified of death, of dying. He doesn’t want to die, but he can lie to himself. He can delude and say maybe he’ll get another chance. And just in case, he makes sure the assistants know they can quit now.

Tim, Sasha, and Martin don’t know what to make of the news that their boss died mysteriously in an explosion. They know even less what to make of the notes he left them.

Clearly the ramblings of a very unstable man. They all knew Jon was a bit off but this... Well, they all know there’s something weird about the job. But the apocalypse? Really? 

Sasha believes some of it, she’s worked in artifact storage. She’s seen what this stuff can do. But, well. Jon’s never come off as the most stable person, and with no proper proof to back up any of this there’s no reason for them to follow suit. After all she’s known lots of people to quit the institute, she even knows for a fact that Eric Delano did it when she was rooting through employee records for perfectly rational legal reasons.

Then Martin gets called up to Elias’s office, and gets the news he’s the new head archivist.

He tries to turn it down, but he’s offered a pay-raise and a promise that he can step down anytime if he doesn’t feel suited to the position. Elias just sees so much potential in him.

Martin tries to feel flattered and not thoroughly terrified by the way Elias says potential. He takes the promotion, after all, he can always step down if it’s too much.

He offers as much when he finds out Sasha probably should have been given the position, but she turns him down. It’s not his fault their boss is a sexist old bastard, and at this rate he’d probably just turn around and give it to Tim.

Things are normal for a few months. Until slowly a strange noise starts to be heard around the archives, a weird sort-of squishing sound with no source. Along with a metallic scent of meat. 

An infestation, of course. They’re getting the problem worked on, or so Elias says. But aside from the occasional exterminator coming in to ‘take a look’ nothing ever seems to change. Weird statements start showing up on Martins desk, surrounding meat and twisted up things, eaten alive and wrong. Suddenly he understands how Jon went off his rocker so easily.

It’s hard to believe all this supernatural stuff as it’s suddenly getting crammed down his throat, after so long of the archives being normal in almost every sense of the word it’s like missing a step on the staircase. The more awful statements he finds- that Tim and Sasha confirm -the more he realizes how much his boss was hiding from them.

He wants to quit, he thinks about it, he tries to think about it. But he just, can’t.

It’s another or two month before it happens. Meat and bone and gristle erupt from the floor, taking on horrible mangled shapes of almost-humans reaching out with hands full of teeth and hungry.

They all survive, though Tim gets eaten up a bit more than the rest of them. And they’ll all have nightmares for the rest of their lives. They’re alive.

And they find Gertrude’s body, though none of them know how to feel about it. They’ve realized by now there’s something to Jon’s nonsensical ramblings. And they’re long past regretting not quitting before this all happened.

There’s a section of document storage that got uncovered during the cleaning,an old cot that was shoved behind some of the shelves, and a box that had a few sets of clothes, an old teacup, and a key. The cleaners say they burned the clothes, but the cup and the Key are given to Martin for him to keep to return to whoever left their things in the archive.

Neither of those items belong to Tim or Sasha, so they all assume they belonged to Jon.

They start following Jons footsteps, they find out he was a suspect in an arson case surrounding Carlos Vittery’s old apartment. Nobody was there except one unidentified body. He was arrested for trespassing on a dock, though no charges were filed. There was an incident that ended in the near arrest of one Jude Perry, though no charges were filed and she soon fell off the grid. And then he exploded using C4 he had no way of getting, Nothing concrete, no proper genuine evidence except a series of weird encounters their dead boss had.

Martin Decides to try and hunt down Jude Perry, it takes some time. He has a very nice cup of tea with one Micheal Crew. Who points him in a general direction and is just a bit weird about tall buildings.

Martin finds Jude, and asks her about Jon. She laughs at him, of course. But she tells him anyway. Jon was trying to have her arrested- no, not arrested. Killed. Officer Tonner would have seen to that, he knew one of the Hunt could do her in, well. At least of Officer Tonner’s sort anyway. Jude resisted, naturally. He escaped her clutches only barely, by running. Like a coward. And she escaped the policewoman by playing innocent. She’s still on her tail though, damn dog. It’ll be a long time before she’d rid of her, but she knows better than to run. Oh, he doesn’t know what any of that means, does he? Oh he really doesn’t, how sweet. Just a little baby archivist- she was going to kill him after this. But watching him stumble into his own ruin will be so much more fun.

She sends him on his way with a burn.

Martin is terrified, he genuinely tries to quit. Almost manages it before his computer shuts off. The others try too, and then they all have a lovely freak-out together.

They decide to try and talk to Detective Tonner, which proves easy. She’s the partner of the one who’s been interviewing them. She comes to the institute, and they ask her about Jon. She tells them they believed he was responsible for killing Gertrude, seeing as he was next in line. Martin accidentally Compels her into a statement, and then into admitting she's mostly just saying he killed her because dead men don’t put up fights.

She threatens him right then and there, though Basira comes in and intervenes before anything happens. He files a dispute with the station, and avoids the police after that.

Basira brings him some of the tapes, she says it’s an apology. He’s pretty sure she’s just trying to get him to drop the dispute in the weirdest way possible. He does learn some about Gertrude though, and through her what he’s dealing with. And something about an ‘unknowing’

A man named peter Lukas visits the institute, one of the doners. Elias says he wants to see how the archive runs, Lukas says a few choice words about it. And Martin tells him in the most polite of terms to shove off. Lukas threatens him, and very briefly makes him forget everyone he’s ever loved. And then tells him he got off lucky, and that Elias should have picked a better archivist. You can hardly trust someone so childish to run something as important as this now can you.

Daisy visits him in his home, and threatens him in much more physical terms now. She tells him if he tries to do what he did to her again he’ll get more than a scar.

After that it’s a bit unclear how he gets marked by the next two (Curruption, Stranger.) but he does.

There’s a delivery, a few weeks after the stranger mark. It’s not supernatural in any sense, just a young woman dropping off a small box in the archivists office. She says her name is Georgie, and no, she doesn’t know what’s in the box. She just had an old friend tell her to deliver it if he didn’t check in after a bit. Then she found out he died on the news, and then she hadn’t wanted to deliver them- clearly whatever was in the box was going to get someone killed. And she wasn’t scared of it, she wasn’t one for fear, but the thought of putting anyone in danger made her skin crawl. But she didn’t want it in her house, and she refused to be haunted be this box forever. And there was no reason to defy the poor guys apparent final wishes- wait, why was she saying all this again?

In the box was tapes, a dozen or so of them. All addressed to ‘the next head archivist’

It’s Jon’s voice, on the tapes. Talking to who he apparently assumes to be an entire stranger, explaining the fears. And how Smirkes 14 wasn’t wrong, but wasn’t right either. It tells the next archivist to avoid eyes, paintings, doodles, abstract representations, and to keep playing dumb. There’s a lot out there, and the more you know the worse it gets. There’s no fighting, don’t struggle the nets already around you. There’s a way out, but you’re not going to like it.

It gives an odd image of Jon, the man who awkwardly tried to make small-talk int he break room, only to shuffle away after it fell flat. Carrying this world-ending secret on his shoulders. Stiff, awkward Jon. Grim, sad Jon. not so far apart but still so far outside of what Martin had known about him.

What had Martin known about him?

Tim decides to quit, Sasha stays. Elias hires Melanie. Who turns out to be another connection to Jon.

Melanie says he was kind of a prick, he belived her about her Sarah incident, but refused to give her library access. Probably because he was sexist, or maybe just a dickhead. She’d been trying to learn more about her encounter for ages. And this was finally her chance. They try to explain the way out but she won’t listen.

Martin starts following Gertrudes tapes, things about the unknowing have been popping up on his desk lately, and it sounds like Jon was right about an apocalypse. He goes to america, gets a bit kidnapped, and meets Gerry. He offers to help, and then asks about the unknowing. Gerry points him towards the storage locker. And when he gets back He and Sasha and Melanie check it out.

It’s mostly empty, apparently somewhat recently cleared out. Though in the corner there’s a large box of Tapes. There has to be dozens of them, and when they pres play it’s Jon. Talking to them. Except it’s not them, it’s another version of them, and something this version.

And there’s another Jon to add to the mystery of a man he was. The jon on these tapes isn’t stiffly awkward or forcedly professional. He’s open, sad. He cries, he laughs at memories they don’t have. He apologizes, a lot. Too much really. He talks about time travel, about forgetting faces and losing friends.

“Sometimes I-I think- I can’t help but be a bit... upset. At how unfair it all is. You’re all happy and laughing and together and i’m- 

i’m alone. 

I suppose it must be some sort of- cosmic Karma, I doomed the world so in this new one bright an new I pay my penance in isolation.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. I doom the world- suffer its horrors, and get a little bit of time to taste what humanity would be like.

Or maybe i’m just not that likable without an apocalypse.

Probably says a lot about me either way.

Is it bad that I- I sometimes consider letting things play their course? W-without any of you dying of course I just... I suppose it is bad, to want to end the world because you’re lonely. Just because i’m a bit sad doesn’t mean the planet should suffer, no... maybe i’ll try and reconnect with Georgie, it’s been... well. No. Perhaps best not.”

Sasha says that if she knew she would have at least brought him out for drinks or something. 

But they did sort-of know didn’t they? Not about the apocalypse, but about the loneliness. After all, nobody chats so awkwardly in the break room because they have a thriving social life.

“I’m going to kill Nikola tonight- i’m not going to die. I’m not. I didn’t die last time, a-and there’s no reason for that to change. T-there isn’t. I’m going to try and be a safe distance from the blast this time, too. But... Well, it’s not like I have anyone to miss me if I do go.

I suppose... Martin, if you’re listening to this- I... I miss you. You always did say I should be more open with my feelings, and it’s weird. To miss someone who’s right there. T-to look at a face and see a friend and a stranger. To love someone you’ve known for years who doesn’t even really know who you are.

It’s all very stranger, ironic really. Considering what i’m about to do.

I love you, and I miss you. I know you’re not listening, even if I did die you’ve probably long since quit. I hope you’re happy, whatever you’re doing. Happy and safe. All of you. 

And maybe you are listening, maybe... maybe we do become friends, maybe you actually choose to talk to me someday. Maybe I tell you about all of this and... And you don’t think i’m mad. Maybe you let me take you out to dinner and we’d be together again. We’d never be like before- not that that’s a bad thing what with the eldritch horrors. There’d be bits missing, memories we don’t share- but, it would still be you... It’s always been you, I think. And maybe I've��decided to give this to you as some sort of silly romantic gesture.

A-and in that case. I love you, Martin Blackwood. More than you’ll ever know.

[HE SIGHS]

When I come back, i’m recording over this.”

[CLICK]

But he didn’t come back. He died that night. He died loving Martin, who never even really knew him beyond passing awkward conversation. Martin doesn’t know how to feel about it, besides guilty that is.

The tapes point them towards Georgie Barker, the woman who delivered the other set to the archives.

Georgie doesn’t really want anything to do with them, she knows whatever they’re stewing in got Jon killed. But she tells them about her encounter with The End, though she’s tetchy afterwards. Martins finally starting to understand this whole compelling business and is feeling pretty sorry about it. He redirects, he starts to ask about Jon. Who he was, really. What she knew he was like.

They talk, Martins curiosity is part Eye and part knowing that someone loved him, really, really loved him. And feeling like he missed out, like he skipped a train he hadn’t known was there. And wanting to know what kind of person would- could love him the way Jon did. And why that kind of person could end the world.

They talk, Georgie explains why they broke up (clashing ideals, he didn’t believe in the supernatural and her trauma was so inherently tied to it. He was a sleep-clinger and she kicked when she dreamed) And why it took so long for them to break up (Jon was funny once you learned to get his jokes, the Admiral loved him, he had a weird way of caring that was really sweet) they talk about things, Georgie lets him hang out with her as long as he promises to keep the supernatural out of their conversations. And how is Melanie doing by the way?

Sasha has a hard time splitting her time in the archive and helping Tim. He can manage himself of course but it’s hard knowing he’s sitting in her flat alone, he’s getting back into publishing though. Sleeping easier now he knows that not only is he free of the eye, but Jon very much killed the thing that killed Danny. He only wishes he could have been the one to pull the trigger. Sasha is getting more involved though, the eye has it’s own grip on her.

They finally confront Elias. They know it won’t do any good, Jons tapes explained what he was, who he was. But they’re frustrated. Low on options. Jon never really explained what the apocalypse was- if Martins learned anything from the other tapes it’s probably because he forgot, thought he did somewhere and didn’t.

Elias isn’t entirely surprised that they’ve figured it out, he knew something was going on. Though he wasn’t quite sure what. He claims he knows what oncoming apocalypse Jon was talking about, and that he was likely underestimating the amount.

He sends them to Ny-Ålesund. And Martin views the black sun. Gets briefly taken hostage by Manuela. And gets “saved” by a man who pops out of a door to stab her.

He says his name is Micheal, and he’s not there to help. He does his whole distortion bit, confuses them. Stabs Martin when he tries to take his statement. Says he was going to kill him, but what happens next might be much better than death. And leaves after stating that he’s very excited to watch how the rest of this plays out.

They go back to the institute, and Elias says he must have been wrong. Oopsie. Anyway the web is planning a ritual you should go check out the spooky house from all these statements.

They meet Annabelle in person, Martin gets marked by the web.

This continues on for the end the slaughter and the buried. They finally confront Elias again about these wild goose chases, he claims innocence but he’s done it enough times they don’t believe him. They stop trusting Elias. Not that they ever really did, but they stop listening to him.

Melanie isn’t as angry as she was. Though she is still angry. She didn’t go to india so no ghost bullet, but she’s still trapped. Though she knows how to quit, it’s been a scary idea. But the longer she stays the more she realizes how low she is on options. So she quits.

Martin is angry, he’s exhausted, he’s confused. Nothing makes sense. And another one of Elias’s goddamn doners is visiting. A weird old man who, when he shakes his hand, makes him feel like he just dropped off a rollercoaster at a million miles into empty nothingness. He laughs when Martins regained himself, and says that that tricks better than a buzzer every time.

He visits Georgie again, he’s thinking about quitting. But he can’t figure out what the apocalypse he’s supposed to stop is, because according to Jon it’s pretty bad. And he’s the one who can stop, or maybe start, it. But he doesn’t know what it is.

He talks to Georgie about Jon some more, it’s funny, to grieve a man you already knew. Except four years too late. There’s a sort-of helpless frustration to it, every time he talks about Jon he wishes he could be learning this first-hand. Not from someone who hadn’t spoken to him in years before this.

He also finds himself glued to the tapes, he can relate, in a way. To Jons loneliness. To have a person so, so close but so far away. He wishes he could meet the Jon on the tapes now. Then neither of them would have to be lonely. But Jon is dead. And Martin... Martin might love Jon. Jon, who died years ago. A dead man who apparently loved him enough to consider ending the world for the chance to have a real conversation with him.

He goes back to work, frustrated and so, so lost. A million questions that genuinely can’t be answered. There’s a fresh statement on his desk. It’s a statement of Jonah Magnus, regarding stopping the apocalypse.

Certainly a goddamn roundabout way of giving Martin information, but he’ll take it.

He reads the statement.

The world ends.

Sasha, Tim, Melanie, and Georgie all get their own domains. And wander free in the hills of suffering. Martin is alone, well and truly alone. He ended the world, because he was too stupid and sad to read a few extra paragraphs before starting the tape.

But Jon went back, didn’t he? He went back in time and stopped this once. Maybe Martin can too. Maybe he can stop the flesh from attacking, maybe he can stop Melanie from joining the institute. Maybe he can meet the real Jon.

He goes back, he does it. Nobody remembers but him. 

Nobody remembers but him. 

And things keep happening he can’t have predicted.

Worms, Sasha is gone, Gertrude. It’s all wrong. And Jon isn’t the Jon he knew, he doesn’t know Martin, he doesn’t even like Martin. Nobody is the person he knew before.

He is alone. And things keep happening he can’t have predicted, worms tables and paranoia. He starts recording. Trying to follow in Jon’s footsteps and leave information behind, easier to access this time of course. In his flat, and he’ll have the key sent to the archives if something goes wrong. He’ll record until Jon trusts him enough to believe him, Maybe he’ll even stop him before it’s too late and he’ll never need to find out what happened at all. Maybe he can't get close as he was to everyone, but he can keep them safe.

He doesn’t get to finish his recordings, he wasn’t careful enough. Jonah catches wind and half the tapes are destroyed when he dies in a mysterious housefire. But what’s left does get delivered to the archives.

And the cycle continues.