#if you’re curious I’m team ‘fandom made me ship them’ :)

[teleiapotami]

Phantom Lord, Fairy Feelings: Ch. 5

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Ship: Natsu/Lucy

Rating: T

Summary: Natsu has made the decision to put some distance him and Lucy, hoping to understand his feelings. The strength of them scares him, but what will his unexplained neglect do to his partner and their growing relationship?

->Chapter 5<-

Lucy curled her legs underneath her in the tub, waiting for Natsu. He was taking much longer to bring her clothes and a towel than she expected him to. She toyed with the idea of getting out on her own but didn’t want to upset the delicate understanding they had reached with one another. A soft knock at the doorframe startled her from her thoughts.

“Lu? Can I come in?” asked a soft voice that was definitely not Natsu. At her reply, Levy stepped through the curtain hugging the promised towel and clothing to her chest. “Natsu asked me to come. Here…” She handed Lucy the towel and set the clothing down on the counter to be ready if she needed to support her friend.

Lucy blinked at Levy in confusion. The towel she was given was warm, just as Natsu had promised It would be, so why wasn’t he the one handing it to her? She stood up carefully and wrapped herself in it before stepping out of the tub, holding Levy’s offered hand. Before she could find words in her confused mind, Levy spoke again.

“I’m sorry to intrude. Natsu said he needed to be somewhere and asked me to take his place with you. He said you aren’t ready to be on your own yet.” She stood beside the blonde, both hands lifted as a steadying force while Lucy pulled on her clothes.

“I’m much better than he’s letting on. Did…. Did he say how long he would be gone?” Levy shook her head in response and followed Lucy out into the living room. Despite being told he had left, Lucy still expected to find him sitting in his spot on the couch grumpily. The whole room felt emptier from his absence.

Climbing onto the bed together, Lucy smiled at the other girl. “Thanks for coming Levy. I can’t believe he actually left. It’s been days of him not even letting me walk to the bathroom on my own, and now he just vanishes?”

Levy smiled pulling her knees to her chest and facing her friend. “He looked….unlike himself. Not angry, but very serious. Determined and….withdrawn. I’ve never seen him like that. He looked….. he looked more like Gajeel than Natsu.”

Lucy chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Levy….. Are there books in the guild archive about Dragons? Or Dragon magic?”

Levy pursed her lips as she thought. “I’m sure there must be some. Why?”

“I’m curious. I have questions that need answers. There have been some…..” she trailed off, unsure of how to explain. She didn’t want to share everything while there was still so much that she didn’t understand on her own. Luckily, Levy was an understanding friend.

“I get it. We all saw how close Natsu was to losing control when you came back from the cliffs. I’ll talk to Master Makarov and see if I can bring you some of the books while you are stuck here. Um…there’s also Gajeel. I know he isn’t the friendliest of people, but he might have some answers if we can’t find anything in the books.”

“Thanks, Levy. You’re the best!” Over the next three days, Levy brought Lucy books from the archive, and together they dug through anything and everything they could find about dragons. Histories, myths, legends, spell books, and even a few journals in ancient Mildian. Gray and Erza dropped in with food from Mira, and even Happy stayed the night with her once. Natsu never came back, and Levy said he had only been seen at the guild for brief moments before leaving again. “It’s just like how he was before you joined his team, Lu,” Levy told her.

On the day she was finally allowed to leave her house, Lucy bounced happily into the guild hall, looking for her team. She found them waiting for her at their usual table and her face split into a brilliant smile. She accepted a bone-crushing hug from Erza and offered a promise that she wouldn’t do something so reckless alone ever again.

“Even if it was pretty incredible. I don’t know a lot of wizards that have that much power, much less ones that could expel it all in one go and survive,” mused Gray, planting a heavy hand on her head.

“There aren’t many people like my Fairy Tail family that are worth doing it for,” she replied smiling. She sighed happily and looked around the hall. She stifled a giggle at the sight of Levy sitting beside Gajeel. He looked grumpy, but his sharp eyes never left Levy’s face as she read part of a book out loud to him. Her smile faltered as she searched the room for a flash of pink hair or a burst of flames and found nothing. She turned back to Erza and Gray questioningly.

Gray shrugged and Erza crossed her arms. “He hasn’t been in since yesterday at lunchtime. I was certain he would be here for your return,” the woman said thoughtfully.

  *~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

From then on, Lucy saw Natsu only on missions. He stopped coming to her house, and he no longer spent every minute hanging around the hall with her. When they interacted, he behaved as though nothing was wrong, but Lucy could feel a difference. Every time she tried to ask him why he seemed to be avoiding her, he would throw himself in the middle of a brawl with one friend or another.

He didn’t sneak into her rooms at the Akane Resort even once while they stayed there. She sat by his bedside as he recovered from his battle with Jellal, but he never woke up while she was near. At the Miss Fairy Tail Contest, she noticed him watching her. His black eyes were so intense that she thought she could feel them boring into her.

Master Makarov paired them up for the Fantasia parade, wanting them to work in conjunction with Gray and Juvia. “Fire and Light alongside Ice and Water!” the master cried joyfully. Natsu declined, claiming he was too injured from his fight with Laxus, and Lucy was reassigned.

On the rare occasion that he joined them at the guild, he would sit in relative silence, his eyes never leaving her as she moved. He was warm as always but kept a clear distance between them. He was welcoming but wouldn’t be near her alone. He was still there, whenever she might need him in a fight. He never let her get seriously hurt or separated from the group. He was still Natsu but…he wasn’t. And everywhere, his eyes followed her ceaselessly.

When she heard her Father’s life was in danger, she left without a thought or a word. Her Father was her responsibility, and the others were leaving for a job. The idea of taking on an entire dark guild alone was not one she was fully confident she could manage, but she had to try. Luckily, the Naked Mummy guild turned out to be a complete joke. She took them all out with no trouble at all.

Outside, her search for her father was interrupted by something moving in her periphery. A fast-moving blur shot across the sky above her and the air temperature increased by several degrees as Natsu dropped from Happy’s grip and landed behind her.

“Natsu!” she yelped as she whirled to face him. He was tense and looking around the area. The knights were arresting the defeated guildmembers behind her. “What are you doing—Ow, Natsu let go!” He grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the wooded area beside the merchant guild. His grip loosened slightly when she cried out in pain, but only slightly.

“Go back and tell the others I found her, Happy,” Natsu growled over his shoulder.

“Aye sir,” Happy replied, missing his usual enthusiasm. He eyed his friend apprehensively, then turned and flew away.

“Natsu, let me go! I need to find my dad,” Lucy said as she pulled against his grip again. He whirled on her, and his hands ran over her, searching for injuries. When he was satisfied, he grabbed her shoulders tightly. His eyes were intense as they searched her face. The longer he stared at her, the brighter she felt her face burn. “Say something, Natsu!”

“What were you thinking coming out here alone Lucy?  An entire dark guild on your own?!” His fingers were digging into her shoulders and his voice was shaking with thinly veiled anger.

“I….I came to save my dad. It was my business, not Fairy Tail’s, so I came alone. Now let me go! You’re hurting me!” She tried to pull out of his grip, but he pulled her against his chest tightly instead. “N….Natsu?”

“You scared me to death, Lucy. I turned around and you were gone. Don’t……don’t do that again,” he choked out, pressing his forehead against hers.

Lucy stared at him, confused emotions swirling inside her. He had been effectively ignoring her for months, but now he wanted her not to leave him behind. She pushed against his chest and stepped back. “I…I’m sorry I scared you. I’m fine, so just forget about it.” She turned and walked away, returning to her search for Jude.

Natsu had to force himself not to chase after her. Keeping her at arms-length was difficult enough when she wasn’t putting herself in unnecessary danger by running off without him. He had hoped that removing himself from her side would help to lessen whatever kind of madness she caused in him, but it simply didn’t. Being near her made him want her, more than he had ever wanted anything before, but being apart from her? Being away from Lucy made him need her. Worse, that need made him angry, irrational, and reckless.

More than once since deciding to take a step away from their developing relationship, Natsu had gotten himself hurt worse than he let on. He paid too much attention to Lucy’s fights and not his own. He knew she was tough and could usually handle herself, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to rip out the throat of anyone who dared attack her when he wasn’t there.

The Battle of Fairy Tail had been hell for him. At first, he delighted in the chance to battle it out with his friends. Lucy was safe enough as a statue, so he didn’t have to worry about her. But he hadn’t been able to join in at all. Worse, Lucy recovered and joined the battle without a second thought, brushing past his objections like they were nothing. Bickslow was lucky that Natsu had been trapped in the guild, else the Thunder Legion would have been short one member.  

Heaving a heavy sigh, Natsu trudged down the path, following Lucy. “Damn it…this is getting stupid,” he grumbled to himself. When he stepped out of the woods, Lucy was surrounded by three of the knights, answering questions. She was flustered and waving her hands, trying to take a step back. Natsu sidled up to stand at her side, just behind her and glowered at the looming trio. Two of them peeled away and left the captain to finish the interrogation.

“I suppose, even though you disobeyed a direct order not to approach, I can overlook it, since you defeated the guild and rescued the hostages. But I won’t be lenient the next time you do something so reckless,” the Captain barked at her. Lucy nodded and gave a feeble excuse of agreement, then let out a slow breath as he turned and rejoined the platoon.

“The whole guild on your own? Really? I thought the soldiers would have helped you,” Natsu said to her when she turned to face him.

“No, they stayed out because they were mages. So…yeah. On my own. You don’t have to act so surprised you know,” she huffed, crossing her arms, and sitting in the grass beside the road.

Natsu flopped down beside her. “I’m not surprised. I’m proud. You kicked some serious tail in there from what the groups were whispering.“ He jerked his head towards the freed hostages. She blushed under his praise and looked away from him. “Yeah, well…. I still didn’t find my Dad, so it was wasted effort anyway.

“Nah. You may not have saved your dad, but you saved hers.” He pointed at a little girl running into the arms of one of the men that Lucy had saved. “That makes all the effort worth it to me.” Lucy watched the small family with a wistful smile on her face.  

“Thanks Natsu…I really am sorry I worried you. I promise I won’t run off alone again without at least telling someone,” she said. Now that the excitement was over, she was feeling the effects of summoning four of her spirits back-to-back. She let herself relax, leaning slightly against Natsu’s side.

Instantly, Natsu felt his thoughts go a bit fuzzy as her scent overwhelmed him. Her normally light, freshly bathed scent was heavy with the sweat from her exertions and travel. It made his need for her swell rapidly within him and he hurriedly shifted away, putting some distance between them to end the contact. He looked away from her quickly, but not fast enough to miss the hurt, confusion, and frustration flash through her eyes.

“Lucy… I,” he began, but she stood up and dusted the grass off her skirt.

“It’s fine, Natsu. I get it,” she said dismissively, then she planted her hands on her hips and shouted, “THERE you are Dad!” Natsu watched her run over to the man walking up the road and give him what looked like a sound tongue lashing. He sighed. She gets it? If that’s true, I wish she’d explain it to me…

  *~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Shortly after returning from Edolas, Lucy had had enough. She was tired of trying to understand what went wrong in their friendship. She was tired of the fragile air that surrounded them during downtime on missions. Most of all, she was tired of his dark, intense eyes boring holes into the back of her every second of the day. She needed a break.

She’d asked Mira to grab one of the jobs from the board and save it for her. A caravan was lost in the forests surrounding Beanstalk Village. The job was to find them and escort them safely back home to Clover. Now she stood in front of Fairy Hills, the dormitories that housed most of the ladies of Fairy Tail. The door opened and Wendy waved for her to come in.

“It’s girls only, so even Happy can’t come here. Will you tell me what the secret is now?” Wendy asked. Lucy had only told her that she had a secret request to make of her, Juvia, and Erza. Lucy followed the girl into one of the common rooms where the other girls were sitting.

“Hello, Lucy! I don’t think I have ever seen you here in Fairy Hills,” called Erza. Lucy grinned and sat down in an armchair beside her friends.

“I haven’t been here before, but this seemed like the best place to escape….. Well, to have a private conversation.” No one asked what she was trying to escape. They had all seen the way Natsu simultaneously followed and avoided her. Erza and Wendy in particular were witnesses to the toll it had taken on her over the months.

“As long as your plan doesn’t involve seducing my darling Gray, I am happy to assist,” Juvia said warningly. Lucy shook her head.

“It never has, and it never will Juvia! No, I would like to get away from here for a while, and I wondered if you girls would join me for a search and rescue job near Beanstalk Village,” She pulled the folded request from her pocket and offered it to the group.

Erza looked it over and nodded curtly. “I have no issue going with you. It seems a fine job for our Wendy to get some practice in as well.” Wendy blushed and fidgeted with her hands in her lap. Only Juvia looked reluctant.

“This job….it is probably going to take at least a week, most likely more…” Juvia said slowly. Lucy nodded. “I don’t want to leave my darling for that long. And I have a different mission planned with Gajeel coming up. I wish I could help you, Lucy, I’m sorry.”

“I understand Juvia. You can still help me by making sure Natsu doesn’t follow me.” Juvia nodded at the blonde and looked thoughtful.

Erza stood up. “I can help with that too. I will make it known that we are leaving for a job near Crocus. Never let it be said that the women of Fairy Tail don’t support each other!” she declared dramatically. Lucy giggled and the group huddled back together to plan out their departure and cover story.

  *~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The next morning, Erza and Lucy stood on the platform of the train station with Gray and Natsu. Wendy and Carla were aboard already, Wendy didn’t have it in her to try and keep secrets from anyone, especially Natsu.

“A week or two, yeah? If you’re not back by then, I’ll come looking for ya,” Gray said with a smirk, meeting Erza’s eyes momentarily. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped back as the train blew a warning whistle. Lucy adjusted her grip on her suitcase and turned toward the train, but a calloused hand caught her forearm suddenly.

Natsu stepped closer to her and spoke softly, not looking at her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come? Two weeks is a long time to be alone with Erza.” Lucy suppressed a shiver at his proximity. He was standing closer to her now than he had in months.

She stepped back, putting some distance between them again. “It’s a long time to be alone with you too Natsu. We will be fine. I have to go,” she said in a clipped tone. He winced inwardly at her statement. She stepped back again and smiled at both boys before following Erza onto the train.

Gray stepped over to him as he waved at Wendy through the window. “If you didn’t want her to do stuff without you, you probably shouldn’t have pushed her away,” he said flatly. Natsu frowned and hunched his shoulders against the criticism.

“Nobody asked you, ya icy pervert. Where the hell are your pants?” Without waiting for an answer he took off, leaving the train station behind. Lucy would be fine, he tried to assure himself. She had Erza and Wendy. Besides that, it was only an item retrieval job from what Juvia had told Gray. His biggest issue with the situation was why Lucy wanted to go without him in the first place.

He hadn’t been trying to push her away, only to put a firm, friendly barrier between them. He needed to understand why the scent of her drove him to extremes, or why not being able to find her when he looked sent him into an angry panic. Maybe the distance would be a good thing. Maybe not having the urge to find her would give him time to really study his feelings. Even as he tried to convince himself it would be worth it he felt the pain at her absence twinge. It’s going to be a long two weeks…

Find this and more of my work on AO3!

[manicpanicmonkey]

FIRST ON THE DOCIT: Thanks to the porn bot plague, if you’re profile looks like the following:

Cindy Lane🥰New York💄24🍆Just looking for some fun💦

You will be blocked! I’m tired of porn bots following me. Please, slut bots, you are on the wrong planet! There are no autobots or decepticons here, now go away!! ;A;

Second: I’m anti-shipper, I won’t apologize for it. I also won’t try to understand why some people are proshippers. I understand shipping within reason, but if you have any of the following sorts of ships:

- Incestuous: be it blood related/found/adopt/ or foster

- Zoophilic

- Pedophilic

Please just block me and leave me alone. I already made the mistake of giving a proshipper the benefit of the doubt and had told them: “As long as X character is an adult, I don’t think this ship is an issue.” As I assumed they’d aged up the minor character they shipped with other adult cannon characters and came to find out my assumptions were wildly incorrect. Which, I take responsibility for having assumed, that was my fault and I own up to that. Some of you proshippers say you have limits, I’m not sure I believe that to be honest.

Thirdly: If you’re a minor, I won’t block you and you’re free to follow and interact with my blog but I won’t go out of my way to be friends with you as I’m well into my late 20s pushing into my early 30s as of next year!

With that outta the way, here are a few things to note about me:

I am a woman in my late 20s who draws and does crochet while also hyper-fixating on certain fandoms or interests sometimes. They are as follows:

• Transformers

• Ratchet and Clank

• Lego Monkie Kid

• Sly Cooper

• Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force GO! (That’s my nostalgia show; loved it as a kid and here lately it’s just been comforting)

• The Sims (all 4 generations, but Sims 2 is my favorite.)

• Dead By Daylight

• My own fictional characters

• Animals. Specifically: Cats, Reptiles, and birds, and dinosaurs

That’s about all you’ll find on my blog. I also don’t really have any particular names I’d like to be called, but if you wanna call me something, any one of these would be fine:

• Mani

• Monk

• Mischief

• Music

If you need my pronouns they are the following:

Preferred: She/Hers

Accepted: They/Them

Tags:

AntaurixMiyuki

Yutauri

OttoxTesla

Ottsla

GibsonxPristiq

Gibstiq

ManicPanicMonkey

Monkeybrain

I am ALWAYS happy to explain my characters, be they original or fan characters, so please ask away if you’re curious about them! I welcome and appreciate any interaction with my content! <3

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

Once again, I don’t have a whole lot of updates, alas. But this year is already looking more active, writing-wise, than last year, so I have high hopes!

Plug for my writing discord if you’d like to hang out--it’s pretty quiet, especially lately, but is more or less intended to be a more interactive extension of this blog.

Also, we’ll go ahead and do an open question night! Anything I’ve posted about here or on AO3 is fair game. My askbox is always open, but tonight I’m around and keeping at least a vague eye on it. I do take prompts, but I do not promise to fulfil them in a timely manner, lol.

Precipice!Verse

Probably won’t be out this month, especially since I really need to kick into gear on my BB project, but I have not abandoned it--I’ve put too much into this to abandon it, lol.

SWBB:

Based on feedback from my last question post, I am going to do something where Padme’s ship never landed on Tatooine (they got their repairs elsewhere, I guess) and Anakin and Ahsoka meet and have an Adventure during the Clone War. Specifics to be determined, but it’ll be a fun ride, I’m sure. XD

OTP Meme:

I am very proud of myself for getting all five done last month! And I know...more or less what I’m doing for four of the five for this month (figuring out the Specifics for one of those four, and as yet Undecided for the fifth). I’m really glad I decided to do this, it’s definitely getting me to get stuff out.

The Other Battlestar:

Still needs a better title; but I really do think I’ll get started posting this month (I know I keep saying that but shhh). Not a formal teaser, but because there are some Key OCs in order to make the plot work, so a little bit of info on them!

Vance Kimble - around fifty; actor; went to college with Wallace Gray; will take Baltar’s Politics storylines (which, within the bounds of how far I want to go here, means Caprica’s representative on the Quorum and eventually VP; but if I do change my mind and go past the Pegasus arc, he’ll also team up with Zarek to run for President)

Atia Reyes-Baltar - will take Baltar’s Science storylines (because there is no way to build someone who can do Both the way he does); also at least part of the reason he doesn’t end up on Boomer’s Raptor (because he’s looking for her, he takes a different route when he flees his house)

Daphne Reed - Senior Medical Officer on Pegasus. ...yep, not much else to say about her that doesn’t Give Things Away, lol.

Cornelius Felden - highest-ranking Marine officer on Pegasus (tentatively a Captain since who the fuck knows how Marine officer ranks work we have never seen a Marine commissioned officer); originally from Aerilon.

Simon O’Neill - no, not that one. Or that one. ...no, not that one, either. sorry I couldn’t resist Officially a pediatrician; part of the civilian fleet that Pegasus strips; gets drafted for his medical degree. ((also is there. like. a Convention for tagging Cylon OCs? Especially ones that use their model’s Shared Name?))

There’s an additional selectee for Daphne’s department but Simon is the important one; Ileana Fortuna (an old OC of mine, one of Zarek’s aides) may also make an appearance here and there but will probably not be Significant.

...I think that covers pretty much everything I have in the Immediate pipeline; but there are other things percolating on a more long-range timescale (actually doing a SW/BSG crossover; some of my other SW-alone projects, expanding on a couple of the AUs I’m building for the OTP meme fills, etc.) So...there it is! Relatively short update, like I said, lol.

Also, not writing, but I dug up some old BSG fanmixes I made my first time around in the fandom, and made some Comments about them on my personal blog, if you’re curious: Season 3 mix; Cylon ship mix; Baltar/Six mix.

[randomshyperson]

hi! hope you're alright! love your writing!! ~

can you do a fluffy sexy one where R and wanda are really close friends (not those secret crushs kind of friend - neither has realized that they are too close to be just friends) until one-day the avengers find out about fanfics and shipps and loose their mind over it cause they are all grown up and didn't know this was a thing, they are all reunited at the living room looking online what are the shipps and, let's say Tony is the one looking while they are all gathered listening, he says like "oh apparently everybody thinks Wanda and R are a couple" and someone -thor, bucky or Sam of course- gets surprise like "they are not dating???" (Wanda is even sitting on R lap and playing with her hair!!) the girls deny and the turns out all team thought they were together, later they are reading some fic about them cause they're curious and its a smut, R gets shy and wanda gets a little turn on about it and says "you know if I was to date anyone here it would be you" so R realizes the same and they eventually get together

I think it has way too much details, sorry

Hello anon! Hope you’re well. This took me long enough i know, but i hope you like it. It’s really short, but it’s all you asked. 

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - The fandom knows best

Summary: Prompt based “Reader and Wanda are best friends who are one of the popular ships from the Avengers, but they have no clue. It takes one fan fiction for things to work out.”

Warnings: Fluff, humor, brief hint of smut (it’s nothing really), (brief) kissing.

Words:  1.400 k (Drabble i think)  // Read on AO3

Marks:   @mionemymind @abimess

Wanda Maximoff is your favorite person in the world.

You are colleagues on the Avengers team, and clicked together the very moment you first saw each other.

Everyone on the team knows that you are inseparable and if someone is looking for you and can't find you anywhere, it's because you are sleeping in Wanda's room.

You never really thought about what this implied, so during the Halloween party that Tony planned, you were very surprised when this subject came up.

The avengers were gathered around the table, a few hours had passed since the party had ended, and Tony was beginning to feel bored. So he grabbed the tablet on the table and announced it to everyone:

- I made a very interesting discovery this weekend! - he says with a mischievous smile. - Tell me Avengers, have you had a look at the work of our dear fans?

The team let out a chorus of apprehension. Tony laughed.

- God I'm surrounded by old people. - He comments as he activates the hologram playback function on the tablet on the table. - I found some interesting content about the Avengers. Say, folks, have you ever heard of fanfiction?

The group let out a chorus of excitement, and Tony giggled.

- I should have known you would eventually make us watch porn. - Natasha laughed, making everyone laugh. And then Tony was running through some files, mostly innocent artwork, of the team on adventures or facing supervillains, and you all looked excited. Then Tony let out a little laugh.

- Whoa, I found something interesting. - he says with a mischievous smile. - It has the hashtag "NSFW”.

- What does this mean? - Steve asked curiously.

- You're going to love it, Cap. - Tony retorted, and then there is a not-so-innocent artwork of Steve in the hologram. The shield being the only item he is wearing.

The team lets out a mixed exclamation of surprise and laughter, and Steve turns bright red.

For the next few minutes you laugh and are embarrassed by various more adult art that people have done, and then Tony lets out a wry chuckle.

- Look, this is interesting. - He starts.  - The best couples from the Avengers.

- This is going to be good. - Nat mocked, crossing her legs and taking a sip of her beer. 

- I am surprised that Potts and I don't come first, it is disappointing to know that people don't recognize a love as amazing as ours. - Declares Tony and everyone laughs lightly. He moves his fingers again, reading something on the screen. - Check it out, Romanoff. Your affair with Banner is in fourth place.

Nat laughs, and Bruce gets a little embarrassed, but he doesn't say anything. Tony continues.

- That is funny. - Tony says with a chuckle. - Apparently all the fans think that Wanda and Y/N are a couple. They are the most popular.

You let out a short laugh, surprised at the insinuation. Wanda follows you, settling better on your lap as she laughs.

- Wait, Tony, what do you mean they think? - Bucky asked with a confused expression. - Aren't you two dating?

You and Wanda frown confusedly in his direction, and you notice that Thor has the same confused expression as Bucky. And then you look around and everyone, except Tony, has the same look on their faces.

- Who else thought we were dating? - Wanda asks and the whole team choruses in agreement. Tony says "I thought you were playing along".

You and Wanda laugh awkwardly.

- Where did you get that from? - you ask in surprise. Then the team shares a wry laugh and you frown.

- Really Y/N? - Bucky replies. - Wanda is literally on your lap! And you've been playing with her hair all night!

You and Wanda shake your heads in denial, laughing lightly.

When you return to your room however, you are thinking about it.

- Hey, stop overthinking it. - Wanda jokes as you walk together down the hall toward your room, and you laugh weakly.

- Stop reading my mind. - You retort without any hint of aggressiveness. You loved to provoke Wanda, and you had no problem if she used her powers on you.

When you arrived at your room, Wanda threw herself on your bed, and you went to find something comfortable to wear.

- Lie down here, I got curious. - She says as you are putting on your pajama pants. When you are finished, you lie down next to her on the bed, stomach down on the mattress, mimicking her position. Wanda is on her cell phone, and holds it out a little to the side so that you can see it. She starts typing something next, and you laugh lightly.

- Why are you researching this? - you ask as you read "fanfic Wanda Maximoff and Y/N".

She shrugs, smiling.

- I want to know what people think we do. 

- Wanda. 

- Shh, look at that. - She says, holding her cell phone up to her face. She laughs lightly, and then pulls it away showing you a text. 

- "Wanda and Y/N have always been in love with each other." - You start reading and Wanda lets out a giggle. - Wow, that is a surprise.

- "In the Avengers tower, they have always gotten along much better than any other member of the team." - Wanda continues reading and you make a noise of agreement with your mouth. 

- Technically, I get along with everyone. - You comment and Wanda laughs, pushing her shoulders against you lightly.

- "However, the nature of their relationship changed during a particularly physical training session." - Wanda continues reading and you raise an eyebrow. - That sounds promising. - You laugh half-heartedly, but Wanda continues reading. - "The redhead had been assigned to train with her friend, and during that training she realized the undeniable attraction she felt for the other girl”.

- Oh my god. - You mumbled in embarrassment, trying to snatch the cell phone from Wanda's hands, but she just laughed, moving away. When you insisted, she stood up, laughing lightly as she continued reading.

- "When Y/N made a move that knocked Wanda to the ground, the witch couldn't help but kiss her passionately."- She read aloud and you let out a grumble, getting up. - "Their tongues fought together as Wanda let her hands go up the inside of her shirt to her breasts, making Y/N moan"

Wanda's reading died in a laugh as you tickled her to reach for the cell phone. She threw her body at you next, but you didn't return the device, laughing lightly.

- Stop it, this is embarrassing. - You say with flushed cheeks, dodging the girl's hands as you get back into bed. Wanda grumbles, but follows you.

You sit side by side, and you only hand the phone back to her when you close the page.

- You know what? - She says after a moment, her cheeks slightly pink. You look at her curiously. - If I were going to date anyone here, it would be you.

You blink in surprise, feeling your heart race at the phrase, and look away from Wanda quickly. 

It takes a moment, but you finally speak.

- Yeah, I... I would date you too. - You confess, looking forward. To try to relieve the tension, you quickly add. - Maybe Bucky or Nat too, but my first choice would be you.

Wanda laughs, turning to you and ruffling your hair. Your natural instinct is to grab her by the wrists, and throw her on the bed. You laugh for a few seconds, but something has changed. The closeness of your faces makes your breath catch.

- Wanda... I...

- Are you trying to figure out the ending to that fic? - She teases breathlessly, and you laugh, letting go of her wrists. But Wanda uses her freedom to pull your face against her, kissing you softly, and making you sigh in surprise.

- Wow. - You say as you walk away, feeling your lips tingling.

- I know. - she whispers. - Why did it take us so long to do this?

You smiled, kissing her again, properly this time.

When you two parted again, completely out of breath, and with your clothes crumpled, you threw yourself next to Wanda on the bed, laughing lightly.

- I can't believe that the fans knew that you were in love with me before I did! - Wanda then announced.

- And you call yourself a telepath.

You scoffed next, and she laughed as she slapped you on the shoulder. It didn't take long before you were laughing together.

[youbutstupid]

Do you notice that Dream and Georges friendship is a bit different? I’m actually curious how non shippers see their relationship. /gen

I’ve never really talked to people who don’t because they’re very aggressive about shipping irl people but you seem very chill and this is a genuine question I have. I entered the fandom with dnf goggles (dnf compilation video) so I’ve never got the chance to not have it be in my face.

Also you’re one of my favorite mutuals, you’re very very funny <3

Tysm you’re one of my favourites too!

Even from a non shippers POV it is very clear that they’ve shifted in a way. George seems to be much more comfortable on stream with openly flirting with Dream and making suggestive(?) comments towards him. Dream also just seems a lot more fond towards George lately and if you compared an early 2020 stream to a current stream, the vibes would be just completely different based just on how they interact with eachother and their friendship.

It makes me really happy to see because the vibes feel so much more nice and we are able to see just a new part of them and I think a large thing to do with that is the fact this year they have been through a lot of vulnerability and the fact they have been a constant for eachother definitely has helped them become a lot closer.

Another thing I think has also helped create this shift is the fact that they have made new friends which is a bit ironic and shouldn’t be how it works but it is in this case. This past year they have had more opportunity to deviate away from eachother which has brought them closer in a way. With Dream moving in with Sapnap, collaborating with other ccs like MrBeast and Corpse whilst also being more involved in YouTuber podcasts and the role play side of the smp whereas George has been meeting up with Tommy and Wilbur, streaming with new people such as Tina and Corpse a lot and has created his own group (Aka Sex Havers) with Quackity and Karl. Despite them meeting all of these new and amazing people and getting all of these new opportunities, they haven’t strayed away from eachother and although they could theoretically move to new groups with people who are also rising quickly, they still choose to come to eachother at the end of the day and they still prioritise the Dream Team and no matter what it’s Dream who George would rather be staying up for 10 hours calling. I think this has allowed them to develop a new level of trust and value towards eachother as they’ve now realised a strength in their relationship and that no matter what they’re not leaving. This could also be part of why we’ve noticed a shift as they seem to appreciate eachother’s presence and loyalty more :D

I’m really sorry people have been aggressive towards you in the past and if you need anything then I’m always willing to help :). Although I don’t ship dnf, I’m definitely not an anti and I still really appreciate the cute content that is put out by shippers because I think it’s quite versatile as I am still able to appreciate from a platonic standpoint whilst others can appreciate from a romantic standpoint: both ways are equally valid as both George and Dream have expressly stated they’re 100% fine with it all. Sorry for the really long answer hahahaha

In short: yes I have :D

[boltwrites]

Misfits - Chapter 2

Fandom: Star Wars - Clone Wars / The Bad Batch Pairing: The Bad Batch / Reader (Polyamorous) Rating: M (Rating May Change) Tags: Polyamorous Relationship, Force-Sensitive Reader, Slow Burn

Work Summary: After a year working with the 501st, you've been assigned a new post - Clone Force 99, aka the Bad Batch. You're concerned about the transition - you found it hard enough to fit in with the 501st, and now you had to acclimate to an entirely new squad. As it turns out, the Bad Batch is very accommodating.

Chapter Summary:  You're started to settle in with the Bad Batch. Introductions are in order, but one in particular leads down a path you never expected.

read it on ao3 | or read more below

You had said goodbye to Rex only a few minutes prior. He had wrapped you in a tight hug and told you not to get into too much trouble, and you had to try really, really hard not to start crying in front of your new squad. He’d waved as you entered their transport, and instead of dwelling on those emotions – loss, sadness, anxiety – you’d pushed them to the back of your mind. You learned long ago that acting as if they didn’t exist wouldn’t help anything, but right now, you needed to compartmentalize. You hardly knew these men, and you didn’t want to freak them out by sobbing about leaving your best friend behind.

The men in question had since been introduced to you by Hunter. The tall, slender clone who liked to lean against the side of the ship like some half-baked deathstick dealer was Crosshair, a sharpshooter and sniper. You probably should have figured that, judging by the tattoo that encircled his eye. When Hunter introduced you, he had made a noncommittal noise, looked you up and down, and then decided you weren’t very interesting, instead walking his way back to the cockpit. You hoped he was just antisocial, and didn’t hate nat borns, or women, or something.

The big burly one was Wrecker, who had wasted no time in offering you a big smile and a firm clap on the back. Honestly, you thought he was going to hug you – and maybe he was, and then he thought better of it.

“You’re our new Jedi, huh?” he had asked with a broad smile? You offered him a somewhat hesitant one back – he was intimidating, after all. He was broad and muscular like you had never seen on a clone before, and the large scar that encompassed half of his forehead and a good portion of his scalp was distracting. It made him look hardened and dangerous, but with his jovial tone, you soon found out he was anything but menacing.

“Yeah, guess I am?” you answered with a nervous laugh.

“She’s a force-sensitive, Wreck, not a Jedi. She doesn’t answer to the Council.” Hunter had clarified. You were somewhat shocked that he cared about the difference – but, then again, he had seemed pleased that you weren’t a part of the Order, likely because it meant you had less rules to follow.

“Oh, yeah!” Wrecker had grinned, clapping you on both shoulders now, as he leaned down to grin at you. You had laughed a little harder, because you were starting to see now, by both his force signature and in his voice, that he was really just a big goofball. “I never liked the Jedi anyway!”

“Weren’t you just expressing how excited you were for ‘our new Jedi?’”

That had come from the one with the glasses – er, goggles? You weren’t exactly sure what they were, or if he needed them for his bad eyesight or just tactical reasons. Either way, he adjusted him on his face as Hunter introduced him as Tech. It wasn’t difficult to figure out what his specialty was – much like it was easy to deduce that Wrecker liked to punch things in addition to blowing things up. Tech, of course, handled a lot of technical issues and data – but you were actually shocked at the fact that he wasn’t, well… tiny.

Tech was taller than Hunter, and even Rex, as he peered down at you through his glasses. He took your hand and shook it – you could tell just by his grip that he was used to intricate work – robotics, droid work, rewiring datapads – fiddly things that required a steady hand. You had nodded politely to him as he greeted you.

The last member of the team, and perhaps the most elusive, was Echo. He was paler than the others, and studded with prosthetics – most prominently, the jack that his hand had been substituted with. He had an aura about him in the force that spoke of pain – not the pain of war that the rest of the squad exuded, no. This was a deeper pain, something profound and lasting, and you had a feeling it had to do with that arm, and the bolts in his skull, and the way his cheekbones still looked sharper than that of even Crosshair.

“You’re from the 501st?” he had asked, after Hunter had led you to the cockpit and left to look at something in Tech’s travel plans for the route to their next mission. You were alone, but Echo still gazed out the front of the transport into hyperspace, his flesh hand fiddling with the textured armrest of the captain’s chair.

“Yeah – I’ve worked with them for the past year, most of the time. I get contracted out from the unit to do a lot of stealth work that the Jedi obviously can’t be pulled for. Stuff like this, I guess,” you shrugged. Echo had hummed in acknowledgement, glancing at you, almost curious.

“Were you with the 501st when Captain Rex last worked with… Clone Force 99?”

The wording was strange. Rex had mentioned to your that this squad usually referred to themselves as “the Bad Batch” due to their mutations. But Echo was more cautious – he almost hesitated on the name. His force signature didn’t give away much more – it only told you that he was being careful with his words, that he didn’t trust you quite yet. Which, honestly, was to be expected.

“No. Anaxes, right?” Echo nodded, and you shook your head. “No – I was on a stealth mission. Well, I guess it couldn’t really be called a stealth mission… I was working with a pirate named Hondo Onaka. Think I might have rather been on Anaxes.”

You chuckled, trying to make light of it. You knew Anaxes has been a mess, and honestly you had felt horrible leaving behind the 501st in order to take on what you considered a useless political mission. You knew the campaign had been long, grueling, and complicated, and you always felt guilty when you weren’t by Rex and Anakin’s side to help with something so important.

“Ah,” Echo made a soft noise, picking at some scoring marks on his socket arm. You bit your lip at the awkwardness that permeated the room, the conversation stagnating at Echo dwelled on… something.

“I used to be a part of the 501st,” he finally admitted, glancing up at you. His eyes said more than his lips – there was sadness, there. It was hidden behind his soldier’s veneer of indifference, but you could tell by the way he looked at you that his transfer to Bad Batch hadn’t been as straightforward as your own.

“Yeah?” you asked, sitting down in the co-pilot’s chair next to him. He nodded, sighing, relaxing into the chair before shooting you a glance.

“Yeah. Made ARC trooper at one point. Me and Fives – me and Fives.”

His eyes had gleamed the first time he said it – but as he repeated Fives, his face fell, and your own did as well, your first clenching.

“Oh,” you breathed, and he glanced at you, ducking down to try to make out your expression.

“You knew him?”

“He talked about you – I had – I’m stupid,” you laughed, trying not to think about Fives. You hadn’t known him or Tup long before the incident, but Fives had showed you the ropes, along with Rex. You got along with him easily – he had been funny, and kind, and if he tried to flirt with you a few times you just put it up to you being the only woman available.

You remembered him talking briefly about Echo – he had only mentioned Echo once, with gritted teeth and a set jaw, mumbling something about a previous mission, and how he and a fellow ARC trooper had handled the situation. You could tell that it pained him to mention his comrade – that this Echo had likely died – and you didn’t press the subject. You knew, even then, that Fives didn’t deal well with loss. Ironic, then, how he was the one to cause so die, to cause the grief himself.

“I worked with him, before…” you gestured vaguely, and Echo nodded, not wanting you to mention Fives’s death himself.

“He thought I died at the Citadel. Everyone did,” Echo sighed, staring out at the hyperspace lane. “Maybe I did.”

You stared at him. In the force, his emotions were a tangled mess – grief, both for Fives and himself. Pain – not only physical, but emotional, spiritual. You couldn’t fathom what happened to him – you could look at this physical evidence of his cybernetic appendages, more similar to those of a droid than any prosthetics you had seen before. You could see the pallor in his face, the way his cheekbones jut from his face, how he had squinted far too severely in the light of the Coruscanti sun. He had been through something that you couldn’t fathom, something you would never truly understand, even if he did wish to explain it to you.

But despite that, you could still feel him in the force. When he spoke of Fives – the way his signature sparked let you know that he didn’t just know Fives. You could tell they had worked together for years, that they had likely grown up together. The rest of the Batch – their signatures sang in harmony because they had grown up together, because they had known each other for many years. And you initially hadn’t caught onto Echo’s dissonance – the way that he was trying to fit in with them, but how he didn’t fit in quite as easily as the other men. And now you knew why. It was because, while he had changed, he still held onto those bonds. Rex, Fives, the rest of the 501st – even though whatever Echo had endured, those were still his brothers.

“Not completely,” you mumbled, looking down. You could feel Echo’s eyes on you, so you sighed and continued. “You – you still care about them. Those men. They may not be your men anymore – and I guess they aren’t mine, either – but you care for them. That has to count for something.”

When you looked up, Echo caught your eye. His expression was unreadable, and his signature betrayed nothing. He was hard to read already – the cybernetics clouded your judgement – but you could tell that he didn’t exactly know what he thought of your statement.

“Yeah. Maybe it does,” Echo mumbled to himself, staring out across hyperspace, as stars flew by, exploding behind his eyes as he contemplated his place among them.

After that, the silence wasn’t quite so awkward. It was comforting, almost. You knew that it wasn’t the same – that although you and Echo were both former members of the 501st, that the circumstances were wildly different. But you still felt a kinship with him. Because he still knew Anakin, and Rex, and Fives, and Jesse, and Kix, and all the others. Because he probably played the same drinking games you had with the men, he had fought beside them as you did, and he had watched them die, as you had. You knew he wasn’t ready to talk, and perhaps he never would be. But if he ever was, you would be ready to listen.

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@killtherandomness @pastelpanda19

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Pheromones

Fandom: Mass Effect

Collection/Series: N/A

Pairing: Selene Shepard x Garrus Vakarian

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​

Rating: T - Suggestive themes but nothing NSFW

Warnings: N/A? I think (if i’m wrong let me know!)

Summary: Selene’s a little confused about something Javik says to her, she naturally asks her Turian boyfriend about it. 

Notes: Based off this conversation with Javik. I’ve never actually written Shakarian stuff in all my years of loving the ship. But, with Mass Effect: LE taking over my life, why not? 

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“So...Javik said something really...weird when I went to see him earlier.” 

It had been a long day; finding out Cerberus was turning people at Sanctuary into husks, seeing Miranda again, stopping her father from killing Oriana...it had taken a toll and then to come back and have a really bizarre conversation with their Prothean teammate? Well, Selene Shepard was glad to be back in a pair of yoga pants and a large jumper. 

If Selene was completely honest with herself she was exhausted. The war was taking its toll on her, all the responsibility that lay on her shoulders only seemed to be lightened by the support of her team and most importantly, Garrus. Her cybernetics had been bright and bold across her skin as of late, a sure sign that she was running out of steam. Despite the exhaustion, Javik's words weighed on her mind, confusing, curious and just a reminder of how alien he really was. 

Garrus came out of her, no, their shower, towel around his cowl, visor, no longer obscuring his face for once. God, it is so utterly domestic between the two of them now and something in her aches with the awareness that this might all be cut short, that domestic might never be a long term option for them. She hopes it will, hopes silently that they’ll get to retire somewhere, have a couple of kids, a varren or two, and life out their days into old age. 

“Weird? Weird to humans or...just weird?” The dual tone of his voice rings with curiosity. It had taken her two whole years of missions with him for her to actually get a good grasp on his subharmonics and even now there were things her weak human ears couldn’t quite pick up on, or even hear at all. 

She thought for a moment as Garrus sat down next to her on the bed, nuzzling his face between her shoulder and neck like he always did. It was something she’d taken as a turian sign of affection, the way his plates scratched at her skin and mandibles fluttered across her shoulder, she could only compare it to a human placing kisses down. A nuzzling that he never failed to do, whether they were standing and he had to bend over or they were sitting or lying down. 

Leaning into him with her eyes closed, she traces a hand across the plates on the back of his neck. “I...think it's just weird? He said he could tell we were ‘joined’ because of my...pheromones…” 

Garrus froze in his nuzzling, pulling back with his face plates drawn together, mandibles fluttering in confusion. “Well, yeah? I scent you all the time, been doing it since you agreed to be a one turian kind of woman. I thought...I mean I smell like you too…?”

“Scenting? I what?” Selene was decidedly confused, Garrus didn’t smell like her at all. In fact, the little scent that he had was of the more metallic and engine grease kind from spending all his time tinkering with things or modifying his sniper rifle. She certainly didn’t smell like him, not to her nose anyway. 

She pressed her face into his cowl and took a big, over exaggerated sniff. Nothing. He didn’t even smell like her shampoo or the jasmine soap she’d managed to find on the Citadel. Just...Garrus. 

Garrus chuckled, three fingered hand cupping her cheek, filed down talons grazing carefully across her skin to smooth out the furrow between her eyebrows.  

“Oh, right, you humans and your terrible sense of smell. Cute.” His grin flared his mandibles out wide, sharp teeth on show in a display of good humour.

“Garrus!” He liked getting a rise out of her, enjoyed seeing the pale skin of her cheeks turn as red as a Palaven sunset, something Turians just could not do. It was always so distinctly human, glaringly alien, but adorable. Not that many people would describe the Commander Shepard as adorable, but most people weren’t in a committed relationship with her...or he hoped most people weren’t. 

“Honey, it’s normal. We sleep together, we make love,” She groaned a little at the word choice as he returned to nuzzling underneath her neck, talons moving up and down her back in soothing motions, “we shower together, we go on every mission together, we spar together…” Selene can’t help the little moan that leaves her mouth as his breath warms across her skin before that tongue of his, blue and ridiculously dexterous, carves a path over her shoulder and up her throat, lingering on a spot behind her jaw that he knows all too well. 

“And turians are kind of known for scenting their partners.” 

“What does that even mean? Scenting? Like a cat? Are you marking your territory?” She’s never taken Garrus for being possessive, in fact, he was decidedly cool under pressure whenever someone decided to try it on with her. Occasionally he’d shift in a way that told people to back off, pressing his chest to her back, but that was only in instances where the person didn‘t know when to quit. Usually an overzealous asari or persistent human. The idea of him marking his territory, or even seeing her that way was kind of out of character to her, he just wasn’t like that. They were equals in everything they did. He was her person and she was his, one of them wasn’t more dominant in the relationship, they were partners. 

“Yes and no. You're not my territory, honey, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you're a one turian kind of woman, but I trust you and I know you can handle yourself. It’s a habit really, an instinct. I’m surprised you don’t know, you do it too.”

It’s a relief to hear him say that. While she finds Garrus ridiculously hot when he goes all bad boy vigilante turian on someone, the raw power he exudes is something else entirely, something different that starts a fire in her belly, she also doesn’t want to be seen as an object or possession. 

“I do?” They’ve gravitated, as they always do, towards each other. Selene finds herself curled up in Garrus’ lap, arms wrapped around his cowl and nose pressed to the junction of his neck, pressing light little kisses there had become a favourite pastime of hers. Calming, soothing. 

“Mmm...all the time, that little nuzzling thing you’re doing?” She pulls back, startled, eyebrows almost comically high and red still tinting her cheeks, “Yeah, I thought you were just a little possessive, but maybe this is one of those interspecies miscommunication things, huh?”  

“I...oh.” She curls back into his neck, bashful in a way no one else sees. Garrus enjoys seeing her like this, out of her element but trusting, seeking comfort in him even as he’s the source of her embarrassment. Their relationship is unconventional and with it has come embarrassment and nerves from both sides, but it’s the trust in him, and his trust in her that’s made it work, that makes it worthwhile. 

He runs his fingers through the red of her hair, the strands soft and silky, a sensation that he still finds fascinating all this time on and one that he knows she finds soothing. He can only compare it to how he feels when she caresses underneath his fringe. 

“So is that why that C-Sec officer stopped flirting with me every chance he got?” She thinks of the dark brown turian, bright orange markings across his face. Before she’d seen Garrus again, before they’d rekindled their relationship, he’d been determined to flirt with her, no matter how many times she politely turned him down. He’d since stopped, his tone always overly polite and formal, nervous even. She’d assumed Bailey had given him a dressing down, but...maybe not. 

“Mmm, probably.” His chest rumbles with the hum, soothing and deep, reverberations running through her, “Most turians aren’t going to flirt with a taken woman, ever seen two turians get into a proper fist fight? It’s more claws and teeth than anything else.” No turian wanted to get into a fight over someone they had a passing fancy for, that Garrus knew for a fact, best to leave someone alone if they were clearly in a relationship.

“Would you? If someone tried it on?” She’s curious, deeply so. Part of her wants to know he would, but part of her wants to know that he’d think about it, and take his time to decide if it was necessary. Garrus had always had a bit of a temper, quick and righteous and determined to put things right. But, he’d mellowed with age, with her nagging him and convincing him to spare people who’d wronged him and others. He was more calculating these days. 

“Depends.” A hand falls to her waist, circles being rubbed into the skin underneath her jumper, absent minded and soothing as his blue eyes look to the skylight above her bed, staring out at the stars. Contemplating his next words.

“On?” She leans up to press a kiss underneath his chin, the soft exposed skin tempting her.

“Do you want me to? How badly are they trying to get into your pants? Are you in danger? Do you need me to? Is it someone I know and despise?” His voice rumbles in his throat, she feels the vibrations against her lips and ringing through her ears. That was something about being with a turian that she loved, the subharmonics were soothing to her ear, the rumble that always seemed to roll through his body was comforting. She wouldn’t call it a purr, mostly because Garrus would fix her with that look, narrowed eyes, mandibles drawn tight against his face. He’d probably go back to calibrating the guns for a week or two straight. God, she hated that. 

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t fight for my honour?” She’s teasing him, but she can still feel him tense up. Her lack of subharmonics tended to confuse him whenever she joked and he couldn’t see her face. 

Taking pity on him Selene pulls back so he can see the amused little smirk that tugs at the corner of her mouth, freckles scrunching up across her cheeks and nose. 

“I...you’re messing with me aren’t you?” There’a a palpable sigh of relief from him as his shoulders relax and he rolls his neck before pinning her with a playful glare, huffing through his nose at her. He’s the only person she can truly be playful with and she knows he enjoys it, the closeness of their relationship isn’t lost on either of them. He makes her feel less tired, more alive, younger, even if it's for a brief moment before reality crashes back down again. 

“Yeah, just a little, big guy.” She tugs his face down gently by a scarred mandible, he follows easily, putting himself in reach so that she can press a kiss to his cheek, across the blue colony markings that are oh so familiar to her. Affection with Garrus is easy: “I love you, but I don’t need you tearing someone’s throat out for me...unless it’s Kai Leng, you can tear his throat out.” 

The assassin was a thorn in her side and she was close to snapping, her usual restraint and desire to talk things through was failing. She wouldn’t negotiate or talk with Kai Leng. If she finally got the chance...well, he probably wouldn’t be recognisable afterwards. 

“Oh, I'm tempted, believe me. There’s nothing I'd like more than to put every ounce of my anger and hatred into beating Kai Leng into a bloody pulp. Buuuut, I think you deserve the satisfaction yourself.”

“I love you, you know that right? Even if I'm walking around stinking like a turian vigilante.” She caresses the lengths of his crest and underneath, scratching short nails against the soft skin there and the purr, because it is a purr, that rumbles from his chest is almost as satisfying as the thought of finally getting revenge on Kai Leng.

“Reaper Advisor actually.” He brushes his cheek against hers, hard plates brushing against soft skin, gently, not hard enough to chafe or rub. “I love you too, even if I'm walking around stinking like a self-sacrificing human spectre.”

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

My final potion for @quirkyseastone ‘s “Brew a Love Potion” event is complete! Hope you’re ready for the fluffiest darn thing I’ve written for this fandom (and possibly ever).

Characters: Franky x Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU, Fluff

TW/CW: Mentions of loss/death

Inspiration: Kudos to “A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers for inspiring this fic~

Word Count: 2.7k words

"Alright, we've successfully docked. Good job, crew." You sit up from the captain's chair and gaze out at the starport outside your window. It's been some time since you'd landed on one of the Sabaody Moons, but you've always found the view breathtaking. The moons are more tree than earth, and bubbles slowly float from the roots up toward the stars. While some of the moons are still hives of scum and villainy, others seem almost paradisiacal as beings from far-flung galaxies intermingled in the Sabaody ports.

Before you can get too far from the bridge, the intercom of the Thousand Sunny buzzes to life. It's Franky, the A.I. that runs your ship. "Hey Captain, can I nab a word with ya' before you go on shore leave?"

"Sure thing. Need me here, or down in the core room?"

"Core Room, if ya' don't mind. I've got a super new design to run by you." Though Franky works admirably as a ship A.I., he'd originally been coded to design ships, including the one he now ran, the 1000 Suns (colloquially the Thousand Sunny to you and your crew). Even though his focus is now centered on ship diagnostics and flight procedures, the A.I. still delights in crafting new machine schematics, and you have a rule that he needs your approval before he modifies the ship.

You wave off the rest of the bridge crew, and they're all too eager to touch solid ground again after months in space. You are too, but if Franky's waited this long to check on you, it's likely something for your ears only while the rest of the crew is offboard. You stride through the winding metal hallways that make up the ship's guts, flashing your clearance badge here and there until you are down in the deep bowels of the ship, close enough to the engines that you can hear the machinery thrumming as the ship went through cooldown procedures. It's familiar. You come down here more often than others would expect, enough that you've got a futon and blanket stashed nearby for nights you don't spend in your own cabin.

"Franky? Said you wanted to see me?" You call out as you entered the Core Room. The entire room is covered in segments of a giant computer, with retractable screens and limbs for interacting with others; all of this is Franky. In a way, you're standing in his brain, which is something you try not to think about too much. What catches your attention is that all the screens are down, a rarity when Franky has company.

"Sure do!" His voice echoes, but not from the speakers. "Got a surprise for you. Close your eyes a sec, alright Captain?"

"Franky..." You're sure no other ship A.I.s play games with their commanding officers, but then again, you've yet to meet an A.I. with half the personality Franky has. You close your eyes and cover them with your hands. "Alright, ready when you are."

You expect to hear wheels, a cart with some sort of prototype wheeling into the room. Instead there are footsteps, heavy and so in-sync that it borders on unnatural. Then a hand on your shoulder, warm and soft. Too curious to resist temptation, you open your eyes and peek through your fingers.

"Franky, is this...?"

"An android body? It sure is!" He spins you around and takes a step back so you can take in his full visage. He looks human for the most part, even if the muscles in his forearms are overemphasized and patches of metal poke out from his skin. Still, he has skin, the medical-grade sort often used for replacing lost flesh in humans, and hair that's sculpted into a bright blue pompadour. He must have borrowed clothes from someone in medical too, though he's only wearing a floral patterned shirt, sunglasses, and a speedo. You suppose he was too excited for the big reveal to finish getting dressed.

"You made this, Franky?"

"Yeah, alongside Dr. Chopper and the rest of the medical team, plus Usopp over in Engineering. Surprised none of 'em spilled the beans." He flexes to show off the musculature of his arms. "We'd talked about what happened to your last ship, and figured we should make me a back-up body in case I ever needed to leave the ship with you all. Not that I plan for anything to happen to the Sunny..."

"But better safe than sorry." You still miss Merry, your sweet A.I. lost with your previous ship. She and Franky would've gotten along well, you think. "It's a good plan, I approve."

"Excellent! Now I just need to take it for a spin, test it outside the ship. Seeing as we've docked for the time being..."

Ah. Now you see what he's getting it. Pretty sly, for an A.I. "As your Captain, I'll accompany you on your first excursion out on the spaceport, to make sure everything's in working order." You offer an arm. He raises an eyebrow. "Loop it with mine. Like this...there we go. Now let's get going, shall we?"

 Even among the strangest aliens, Franky stands out in his own way at the space docks. This is only partially due to his lack of pants: he claims this is because he designed his legs to vent most of the heat his body builds up, and you wouldn't want him to overheat and faint on his first outing, would you? No, he stands out because even though he's clearly an android, there's an excitement to him that would rival even the most starry-eyed space explorers.

"Would ya' take a look at this, Captain?" You'd expect to find Franky gawking at any number of the docked spaceships, and indeed he's gushed about many of them already. Instead, he directs your attention to one of the tree roots. A trail of iridescent beetles scurry up the bark, and overhead, a couple smaller Southbirds (rare here, likely escaped cargo from the planet Skypiea) call to each other as they watch the busy port below.

"Thought you'd studied all these, Franky." After all, he's a powerful computer who can research multiple ideas at once, and innately curious as any inventor tends to be. And he's asked you and the crew many, many questions about the world beyond his metal hull.

"Yeah, but no matter how advanced the notes and visuals might be, it doesn't compare with the real thing. I mean, look at 'em!" He points at one particular beetle as its shell reflects the lights of the spaceport back with an opalescent sheen. "Even if you could theoretically simulate all this on a computer, most wouldn't think to do so on their own. Out here, stuff just...happens."

You have never seen an A.I. quite so excited about life outside, but then again, you've never met an A.I. quite like Franky. "Yeah, I guess that is pretty exciting when you put it that way. Part of the wonders of space travel; you never quite know what's going to happen out here."

Then a realization hits your brain with the full-bodied force of a supernova. "Franky, you've spent so much time traveling through the stars, but have you ever actually seen them the way we do?"

Franky looks up at the sky overhead. "Hard to see 'em from up here, even if I zoom out my eyes to max. Watch this!" His eyes...actually telescope out of his head. That's a bit disturbing with how human he looks. "Figure that's due to light pollution, though. Pretty bright out here."

"Sure is." You offer your arm to him again. "Come with me; I'll show you how folks groundside go out to look at the stars."

 Years ago, you'd come out of the harshest space battle of your life. Your crew narrowly avoided becoming space dust, and after giving her all to save you, you lost Merry. The ship that had been with you since the beginning, the A.I. with the biggest heart you'd ever met. As her files corrupted and her hull fell apart, you'd honored her final wish and set her ablaze once you reached planetside, cremating her as one would a human. You still carry a vial of her ashes on a necklace, so you never forget what you've lost to get this far.

You'd wandered through the streets of the moon of Water 7 in a daze. Hadn't even paid attention where you went as the rest of the crew licked their wounds. Before you knew it, a robotic voice called out to you from the depths of a starship demolition yard.

"What's got you down, Captain? Can't be you're sad to be out among the stars!"

You'd blinked, not recognizing the source of the voice. But you called back, "I just lost someone important to my crew. My ship." You didn't care if most folks didn't see A.I.s as people. Merry had been more than a crewmate to you. She'd been a friend.

Even though the voice emanating from the demo-yard was auto-tuned monotone, it took on a warmer tone somehow. "I'm sorry to hear that. But you say you're looking for a ship? I might be able to help with that." A crackle of static. "And if you'd like, you can tell me about your lost pal. I can't bring 'em back for you...but I've heard that talking about these kinda' things helps."

"You don't even know who I am."

"No one does when they first meet, do they? Speaking of which, call me Franky."

Somehow, pouring your heart out to a stranger was easier than talking to your crewmates. You'd wandered into the heart of the scrapheaps and talked to the mysterious Franky, his voice surrounding you from so many static-filled speakers. You'd watched as overhead, he controlled cranes to start putting pieces of a mighty vessel together. He'd asked about your specifications, what you'd loved about Merry both as a ship and a friend. You'd cried. He did too. And when you'd asked how much the ship would cost, he said the only charge would be that he could come along.

You agreed willingly, overjoyed to have such a skilled shipwright onboard. It was only when you talked to the demo-yard owner that you learned that the person you'd poured your heart out to was an A.I.

That didn't stop you from doing so again once the Thousand Sunny was complete, and Franky took to his new home in his core room. You'd wander down into the depths of the Thousand Sunny whenever you needed a second opinion on the ship or a mission, and soon after that just to talk. You'd spent hours surrounded by the computer that served as Franky's brain for so long, talking and laughing just as you used to with Merry. Except, it was more than that with him. He wasn't just a friend, you'd realized over time. But you'd shoved those thoughts away. It was ludicrous, falling in love with an A.I. whose brain you could walk through, whose body was a starship you controlled with the push of a few buttons.

But now he has a body. You can squeeze his giant hand, and he squeezes back so softly as he gets used to his own strength. He smiles the way you always imagined he would, grinning with pearly white teeth and eyes that (literally) glow with joy.

He follows you with infinite curiosity as you weave through the Sabaody streets and gather supplies for your excursion. You ask about his body's capabilities and discover his fuel source is...astonishingly close to soda, so you pick up a few colas along with some food for you. Franky gets to carry a blanket hand-woven by the locals, and you catch him marveling at the texture when he thinks you aren't looking. Finally, you rent a small paddleboat to traverse the moon with, and a map that lays out the canals and waterways of this particular moon.

"You know, it'd be a lot faster if I rowed," Franky says, mouth quirked into a lopsided grin as your comparatively tiny arms pull the oars back and forth. It's amazingly, how perfectly imperfect he looks, more human than any other android you've seen even with all the metal bits.

"There's an old human adage about the journey being more important than the destination, Franky. Take in the experience."

You watch as his attention zeroes in along the waterways, eyes zooming in on every detail until they're pulled away to something new. You expect him to be interested in the flora and fauna, as opalescent leaves bigger than your boat stretch over the water to shade you from the encroaching moonlight and soft purple creatures vaguely reminiscent of otters circle your boat before chasing each other down the river. But the entire world is new to him, and you find him fascinated by even the dirt or the buzzing insects swarming your head.

"Aww, look. I think it likes me!" Franky lifts one giant finger, where a mosquito (why did those have to be a universal constant?) tries and fails at piercing his skin.

"It probably thinks you're human and is trying to suck your blood," you point out, as the bugs try to use you as a personal juicebox. This only gets Franky to smile. Must feel validating, having even nature recognize him for what he is in his heart.

It takes a bit more rowing, but you finally arrive at your destination. A small island, mostly shore, with a small field and a lone tree with leaves that glow silver in the moonlight. You dock the boat on the shore, then set up the blanket and food for a small picnic. You motion for Franky to sit with you, and can't help but laugh a little at the faces he makes when touching sand for the first time. Then you lay back on the blanket. Franky joins you, and his eyes go wide.

A ribbon of starlight glimmers overhead. Hundreds of constellations twinkle overhead. You'd ask if he knows any, but you keep quiet so you don't break his wonder-filled gaze.

His giant hand encases yours. "Space seems even bigger from here than it does when you're in the middle of it. I mean, look at all those stars! I read that you could see 'em from so far away, but seeing it in person..."

"This is what inspired me to go into space," you say. Your finger drifts up to the brightest star in the sky. "I'd look at that one and say, I'm going to go there someday! Didn't care how far away it was, or even what might be around it. Just wanted to head to the brightest star I could."

Franky narrows his gaze up at that star. "That's over eight light years away. Might take a bit, even with a warp drive like mine. But if that's where you wanna' go? I'll take you anywhere, Captain. Long as we're together, I'll explore every corner of the universe with you."

For a moment, both of you are quiet. The air fills with the gentle rhythm of the flowing water, the buzz of insects, bushes rustling as creatures move in the night. In the distance, the hum of a starship engine taking off from the port; you soon see its lights trail across the sky as it ascends back into that void above, the space that's so comforting because it holds planets and stars and spaceships and you and Franky all together in its embrace.

"I think this is the part where one of us says 'I love you'," Franky says softly.

You smile and squeeze his hand back. "You're such a romantic. But yeah, you're right. And I do. I love you."

"Love you too, Captain. And thanks. For, y'know, helping me be human."

"Franky, you've got more heart than most anyone I know. You're plenty human already. I'm just here to steer you steady. And I always will."

You pass the rest of the night watching the stars overhead. And for the captain and A.I. of a starship, you wouldn't have it any other way.

[dgcatanisiri]

Revisiting some of my older thoughts on Inquisition (hello there so much confliction on Sera...), and I’m gonna repeat myself: I have no idea what the hell they were going for with the romances.

Like, let’s say that they’d released Inquisition without the extension they’d used to add Cullen and Solas. That would have meant that Bull and Blackwall would have been the only men available for female Inquisitors, and... I mean, one glance at the romance related fan content for the characters, and while I am making assumptions, based on anecdotal experience, Blackwall seems to fall dead last - even when you add male players who roll a female PC, rather than just the average female player, I don’t think there’s any pressing desire from most of them. And I see a lot more of Bull with guys than I do with women (other can of worms there, I’ll get to that...). Hell, when it comes to bi mods, I see a lot of Cullen, Solas, and Cassandra, but little demand for Blackwall.

It gets really weird when you look at the mechanics side - where a flirt with Blackwall will remove the ability to flirt with other characters, so... Was he EXPECTED to be the runaway heartthrob of the game? (I mean, I suppose it could be meant to tie in with the chivalrous/courtly love thing going on with him, but... how quickly is a flirt available with him? That seems weird to cut things off THAT quickly...) Because... I can’t see that happening, even if there weren’t Cullen and Solas there to cut in to his fanbase - he easily can trip feelings more appropriate to “dad” or “uncle” or even “granddad” before he trips “boyfriend.”

I really, really, REALLY do not get what the logic had been here with this arrangement. I mean, it’s not really right that it was off-kilter to begin with, but I do find myself curious how much of a lead balloon the game would have been received as if there HADN’T been Cullen and Solas available - like, I’m fairly sure they compete for the top spot of romances out of all the characters in the game.

But you know, I am also going to go with it being a HELL of a choice to go in the direction of making the ONLY two romance options for gay men hook up - so, as it turns out, the characters may well end up better clicking with each other than the player, and so THEN what the fuck should the player do? Cuz now it’s just that you’re not that enamored of either, you think they work better with each other, and so you have NOTHING.

Also, another hell of a choice to reward the asshole dudebros who dismissed Cassandra as being “manish,” among their kinder insults, with getting to romance her while locking out the hordes of lesbians/bi women who were ready, willing, and eager to climb her like a jungle gym as far back as DA2...

Like, you want to talk at me about “some people are straight”? Yeah, some PEOPLE. But these are characters, were every design and decision about them is a choice made by someone else. It’s a line of code that makes Cullen shut down flirtations with my strapping male Qunari, not that a living, breathing person has said he’s not attracted to men. If I’m flirting with someone (considering my IRL love life, something of a big if there, but...) and he tells me he’s not in to guys, that’s my cue to slink off and die of mortification, and, maybe, sometime in a year or two, take another shot with someone else. In a video game, though? That is an imposition, a barrier put up by some member of the development team, who said “hm... nah, not for guys” in reference to that character. That is something completely different.

This is the core thing with video game romance options. Yes, you can’t please everyone, I’m fully aware of that. But the choices you offer are THE ONLY choices that your character gets to have. You can imagine some alternative if you want, but if you’re looking for what is textual and on screen? You have only these particular characters, and if you don’t like them, you get NOTHING.

So that’s why I am 100% all bi LIs - Dorian and Iron Bull? They do nothing for me romantically. I would absolutely take Cullen any day. I’d even give Solas a shot. Not enamored of Blackwall, honestly, trips some of my alarms about people I’ve come across IRL, but I could give him a spin too, at least in one playthrough.

I just don’t understand what the thought processes were in all of this, because it all seems like the choices that were being made in no way reflect what the fandom would have wanted in the first place, had they been polled ahead of time. And, sure, I can tell you plenty of occasions I was surprised by how much I found myself responding to a romance differently than I expected...

...I mean, I can’t help but think that had Inquisition shipped without the Cullen and Solas romances, or (god forbid, yes, I’m going to be salty and bitter) they had been included as same-sex romances ONLY, there would have been demands to the point of “angry mob with torches and pitchforks marching on BioWare offices” to open up either or both as romances for women. And (see again, salty and bitter) that probably would have gotten a response, too.

[iliumheightnights]

We Have A Jedi [13] | Peter Parker x Male Reader

Fandom: Star Wars and Marvel

Pairing: Peter Parker x Male Reader, Tony Stark x Son!Reader

Summary: Being on Earth was just what (M/N) needed, but the war is still raging and it seems to be getting worse. With the same vision plaquing him, he’s wondering what lay on the horizon.

Read From The Start

…

It had been a week since their arrival to Earth. In that time Sheyo’s leg had fully healed and she was back in the action. The two had trained with each other in both force techniques and lightsaber combat. It was a nice change of pace. The two of them had been able to spend time with the avengers and (M/N) got to spend lots of time with his father, which he was grateful for.

As said before, Thor did eventually return from Asgard. He broke into the biggest smile when he saw (M/N) had returned. He had asked when he had been and (M/N) gave him the same run down as before. Unlike the others, Thor was not surprised that Sheyo was a Mirialan in the slightest, instead asking her if she Mirial had been alright during the war. After a brief chat (M/N) pulled him into his room. “Is everything alright young Stark?” (M/N) sighed. “I need you to do something for me. I need you to take something back to Asgard with you.” By the look on his face Thor seemed intrigued by the idea. “What do you need me to take back?” (M/N) went to where he hid the stones and pulled out the space stone. “This.” Thor eyed him and the stone. “This is-” “An infinity stone yes. One of two that I have. The longer I have them the more of a target they become. I need you to take this one back to asgard and keep it safe. I’ll leave the other one here with the rest of the avengers. They’ll keep it safe.” Thor seemed to be thinking of something, maybe about how (M/N) had ended up with two stones. “Aye. I’ll do it. Wait- is the other stone you have the one from last time?” (M/N) nodded. “I didn’t trust the council or the republic to keep it safe. Neither did my mother. We thought they’d use it for their own efforts, just like the sith.” Thor nodded. “Well you’ve done well keeping it safe so far. It was probably a good decision. Not to worry, I shall take this stone with me back to Asgard and keep it safe within our vault.” That was all the confirmation (M/N) needed, he knew Thor would keep it safe.

…

There was a city, not like new york. More like coruscant, only cleaner and not as large. It seemed to be domed too. There were the sounds of gunfire and shouting. A battle. He could hear lightsabers clashing. Once again a flash of purple and gold. “You should have gone for the head.” Then the fighting seemed to be dying down and the air became littered with ash. The screaming had turned to cries. This wasn’t a nightmare, it was a warning.

(M/N) shot up from his bed. His breath was rapid and his heart was beating fast. Sweat could be felt all over his face. What did that mean? He had that dream ever since before he even came to Earth the first time. “Mr.(M/N). You’re heart rate is increasing rapidly. Shall I inform your father?” (M/N) had never heard the A.I so...so worried before. It was almost comforting in a way. “No. Thank you Jarvis. I’m just...just going to go for some air.” He got out of bed and put on some clothes and a jacket before leaving the tower. He just needed to keep his mind distracted for a bit. He didn’t even know what time it was, it had to be early in the morning. Even then the city was still somewhat awake. 

He had been walking for a bit, he didn’t know how far he had gone. Too far into his mind and what the dreams meant he didn’t even notice when someone walked up to him. “Give me all your money and you won’t get hurt.” That brought his attention back. “Huh? Oh, you’re trying to rob me.” The person in front of him wore a mask and had a knife out to him. “Give me your money!” (M/N) sighed and brought his hand up, waving it at the man. “You don’t want to rob me. You want to go home and rethink your life.” The man stiffened up and dropped his knife. “I don’t want to rob you. I want to go home and rethink my life.” That was all it took, the man turned and walked off. “Cool. I wonder if he sells death sticks too.” (M/N) smirked at the voice and turned to greet his friend. “Earth has death sticks?” The eyes of the spiderman mask widened. “Oh! Um no, just part of the movie.” (M/N) nodded. “Ah yes. Star Wars.”

(M/N) turned and began walking again, he heard Peter land and felt the boy walking beside him. “So...what are you doing out here so late? Early? I don’t even know what time it is anymore.” (M/N) hummed. “I’m not sure either honestly. I couldn’t sleep. Nightmares. Decided I needed some air, now here we are.” Peter Nodded. “Here we are. Here.” Peter held out his hand to (M/N) who looked at him questionably before grabbing on. Peter then shot out a web and brought him onto the roof of a building. “This way we can sit down and have some privacy.” (M/N) smirked and sat beside Peter on the edge of the roof, Peter removing his mask to reveal messy hair. “It’s a good thing I’m not afraid of heights, Spidey.” Peter blushed and covered his mouth. “I should have asked. I am so sorry.” But the other boy only waved him off. “You’re good. I’ve jumped out of ships in the air too many times to count.” Peter looked curious but wanted to hear. “Yeah?” That’s how (M/N) ended up talking with Peter about his adventures out in the galaxy. The boy never once seemed to be uninterested, instead gave all his focus on him.

Soon the sun was starting to rise over the city. “I should probably be getting back. Don’t want anyone to be worried.” (M/N) stood up, Peter doing the same. “I can take you back. You’ll get there a lot quicker, plus you won’t get stopped by other thugs.” (M/N) smiled and nodded. “I’d like that. If you wouldn’t mind of course.” Peter shook his head and held onto him. “I wouldn’t have offered if I did mind.” Then he started swinging back to the tower. (M/N) was smiling the whole time, he had travelled many different times before, but never like this. It wasn’t long before the two landed on the deck of the tower. “Thanks for the lift. Get home safely.” Peter, now with his mask on, laughed. “I will. Not looking forward to school though. See ya around (M/N)!” with that Peter went swinging away.

When (M/N) entered the tower he discovered no one was up yet. “(M/N) you’re back. I was worried something might have happened.” Jarvis spoke. “Thanks Jarvis. Was talking with a friend.” (M/N) was about to head back to his room when Jarvis spoke up again. “Your father is currently in the lab if you want to talk with him.” (M/N) smirke and headed to the elevator. “Thanks J.” Arriving in his father’s lab he heard the music blaring already. He had been in the lab a couple other times, mostly helping his dad with some projects but otherwise he didn’t really come in here. Tony was currently working over a workbench. “Morning dad. Let me guess, haven’t slept yet.” Tony looked up from his spot and smiled. “No, I got a solid five hours.” (M/N) shook his head and rolled his eyes. He looked over the table. “You need more sleep. What are you working on?” Tony just went back to work. “Some upgrades to the suit, maybe even plans for a new suit. Working on nanotechnology.” Tony pulled up the idea sketches and data, (M/N) looked it over impressed with his dad’s work. “Impressive. Think you’ll be able to get it done soon?” (M/N) didn’t ask if it would be possible, because through his dad anything is possible. “I hope so. I think I can at least get parts of a watch to form a glove in a couple months.” (M/N) nodded and sat down next to him, he figured it was a time to ask. “So...what’s going on between you and Steve?” That made his dad stop for a bit but continued on with his work. “What do you mean? Me and capsicale are doing just fine.” (M/N) hummed. “Oh I know you are, maybe TOO fine. Don’t play coy with me. I see how you look at him every now and then.” Tony continued to work but huffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I look at him like I do any other member of the team.” (M/N) nodded when the door opened and the man of the hour walked in. “Tony. (M/N).” Steve nodded to them both. (M/N) stood up and patted his father’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go see if Sheyo’s up. Have fun you two...but not too much fun.” He smirked at Steve who looked confused before walking out. “What was that about?” Steve asked Tony who was looking anywhere but Steve. “I have no idea. Teenage angst.”

(M/N) walked to the guest room and knocked on the door. It didn’t take long for Sheyo to answer the door and let him in. “Morning.” She smirked at him. “We need to talk. Now that my leg is better, we need to start thinking of finding a way back to Tython. Or at least to a station.” (M/N) nodded. “I agree. As much as I want to stay...I had another vision last night. The same one I’ve had for the last two years...I think it’s coming sooner than we think.” Sheyo seemed troubled by that. “That’s not good. Not at all. We need to find out what your vision means and stop it. Perhaps Master Yoda will know.

Before the conversation could continue, the alarm began to ring out. “What’s that? Are we under attack?” Sheyo asked, preparing to fight. “No. That’s just the alarm letting the avengers know to suit up. Looks like they’re needed somewhere. Good. When they’re gone we can ask fury about getting a-” Jarvis spoke up. “Excuse me Mr.(M/N), your father has requested you and Miss Wune to suit up. You two will be going with them on the mission.” (M/N) was surprised to hear that. He figured his dad wouldn’t want him along. “Alright we’re on our way. When we’re back. Come on Sheyo, let’s go see what’s going on.” (M/N) quickly ran to his room and changed back into his jedi tunic and grabbed his lightsabers. He and Sheyo made it to the quinjet which the avengers were boarding.

It wasn’t long before the jet was in the air and the briefing began. “Alright. We have reports that remnants of Hydra have taken over a shield base in colorado. They’ve put up a good fight of keeping it too.” Sheyo looked over the holotable. “What’s the strategic importance of this base sir? Why would they take it?” Steve looked troubled. “That’s the thing, this base didn’t have anything of importance. It was just a look out base, a couple artifacts are there but nothing that we’ve discovered to be important or dangerous. We’re worried we might be wrong about that. We’re not sure exactly sure why they took it...especially with how reckless they’ve been about it.” (M/N) felt a little nagging feeling in his mind. “I have a bad feeling about this. Do you feel that Sheyo?” She nodded. “Yes. I feel there is something more here than any of us know. We should be cautious with how we proceed.” The avengers nodded at that, worried about what that could mean. Tony seemed to stand a bit closer to (M/N). Steve continued the briefing and they continued their flight to the base. “Ready to get back into the fight?” (M/N) asked his friend. “You know it. You know I hate sitting around when there’s people to help save and criminals to stop.” The two laughed as someone approached from behind them. “You two seem chipper for going into battle.” (M/N) smirked at the archer. “This is an everyday occurrence Clint. We’re used to it by now.” The man frowned at that. “I don’t like that you’re used to it. You shouldn’t be used to it.” Sheyo smiled at him. “We don’t like it either. But that’s just how the universe works sometimes.”

It wasn’t long before the quinjet landed and everyone got into position. “Alright everyone, you know what to do. Keep on comms and stay safe. Especially you two.” Steve looked at (M/N) and Sheyo who only grinned at him and saluted. “Yes sir!” They said in unison. “Smart asses.” (M/N) heard his dad mutter. The doors opened and everyone went into their objectives. (M/N) and Sheyo were of course teamed up together and they were tasked with taking out the outer defenses and watch towers. It was relatively easy for them to finish seeing as both have taken part of sieges. Both however did do their best to not kill anyone, only to disarm them and knock them out.

“(M/N), Sheyo, Hydra is starting to retreat. We’re following the bulk of their forces. Can you two take the few stragglers from the main facility?” Steve said through the comms. “Absolutely! We’ll take care of them!” (M/N) said back. He and Sheyo made it back to the main facility and took care of the few stragglers that had remained. “Well...that was a blue milk run.” (M/N) joked. “Another day's work for the galaxy's best duo.” Sheyo high fived him. The two returned to the outside of the facility. As they stepped outside the sound of a lightsaber igniting was heard and a chill ran up (M/N)’s spine. He was quick to ignite his and block as a red blade came down almost hitting sheyo.

“Well, well. When my master said you would be here I thought he was letting his anger and pain confuse him. Guess he was right after all.” Another sith. This time however it was a twi'lek girl with red skin and black tattoos over her body and face. Sheyo came in with her lightsaber but was blocked as the sith ignited another lightsaber...this one however had a pure black blade with a white silverish outline. “My my...two in one? My lucky day!” (M/N) brought up his other lightsaber for a swing but the sith only jumped out of the way. “I’m guessing you’re the reason Hydra’s here?” She gave out a laugh before bringing her hands up and shooting out lightning which the two jedi blocked. “WHO ARE YOU!?” (M/N) yelled. “My master sends his regards! He wanted to kill you himself but he’s currently still licking his wounds!” It was then (M/N) knew, he had studied enough of his enemy in the jedi archives. She was Kren’s apprentice. “So...we finally meet...Talon!” The sith grinned widely. “I’m glad to see you’ve heard about me!”

The lightning was keeping it’s pace. Talon was strong, but she was too focused on the two jedi to notice as a missile launched at her. She stopped her lightning and jumped out of the way in time not to be directly hit. The sound of jet’s came into hearing range and blaster fire began being shot out. (M/N) thought that it was his father coming to the rescue, he was surprised when a mandalorian landed next to him still firing at the sith. “Well what are you waiting for!? Finish her off!” The mando shouted. (M/N) shook off his confusion and moved to attack again but watched as Talon jumped off the railing. The sound of engines got louder as Talon rose into view. She was standing on a small fighter. “Thank you for the fight! Sadly I must leave now for I have what I need. Not to worry I’ll be back!” The mandalorian shot off a rocket at her which she pushed back with the force. “Duck!” (M/N) pushed the mandalorian down while Sheyo dropped to the ground. The rocket hit into a wall the opposite side and Talon escaped in her ship.

(M/N) groaned as he looked up into the visor of the mandalorians helmet. “You mind? You’re kind of crushing me.” (M/N) quickly stood up and helped the man up. “Oh sorry.” Sheyo got up and came over to them. “You alright?” (M/N) nodded and turned back to the man. “Thanks for the help. Who are you? What’s a mandalorian doing here on Earth?” The man rose his hand. “Name’s Ven. Ven Myjal of Clan Zost. I was looking for an important heirloom, sadly she got here first.” (M/N)’s mind clicked with recognition. “That lightsaber. The one with the black blade.” Ven nodded. “It’s called the darksaber. The person who holds it leads the mandalorians. I was trying to find it before they found it, I fear they plan to use it to conquer Mandalore.” Sheyo snorted. “The sith will conquer all of their ‘allies’.” Even with a helmet on, (M/N) could tell Ven was glaring. “We want nothing to do with your war. The mandalorians that have sided with the empire are all seperatist!” Sheyo backed off but the air was tense. “So what are you going to do now?” Ven shrugged. “I’m not sure. I can’t really follow her all the way back to Dromund Kaas or Korriban. I’ll probably just return to Mandalore and prepare for whatever comes next. No matter what happens, my clan won’t listen to the empire.” (M/N) nodded. “Can I ask a favor? Can you drop my friend and I off at a republic station or planet? We’re stuck here and need to get back to warn them of events that happened before we got stuck.” The man sighed and shook his head. “I have a ship not far from here. I’ll take you as far as Alderaan but then I’ll have to head back to Mandalore.” (M/N) smirked. “That’s all we need. Thank you. I have to quickly wrap up some business but Sheyo will go with you for now. Sheyo go with Ven and I’ll go back with the avengers and finish up our business. Lead Ven and pick me up. It’s time to go.” Sheyo nodded and followed Ven to his ship.

(M/N) arrived back at the quinjet the same time the avengers were. “(M/N)! Where’s Sheyo?” Steve asked. The others looking worried, (M/N) rose his hands. “She’s fine. She’s with someone who’s going to help us get off world.” That caught the attention of everyone, his father pushed his way forward. “Off world? You’re leaving again?” (M/N) hated seeing his father look down, but he needed to go. “Yes. I’ll tell you more on the way back to the tower. I need you all to do something for me.” He didn’t wait for a response and boarded the jet. On the way back to the tower he told them everything. Talon. Ven. The darksaber.  And finally- “Remember the last time I was here? I had the infinity stone that we were going to give to the jedi council...well I still have it. I need you to hold onto it and keep it safe. I can’t trust it with anyone else.” He pleaded with the avengers but he really didn’t need to. They had all already made their decision to keep it safe. Arriving back at the tower they exited the jet and (M/N) quickly went to his room to grab the stone. However when he went to where he hid the stone he found it missing. “What...Jarvis! Did someone enter my room when we were gone?” Jarvis was silent for a while. “I’m sorry sir. It seems like part of my security feed was erased. This is...alarming.” (M/N) felt his heart race quickening, someone came and stole the stone. He raced out of his room to his father and the rest. “It’s gone! Someone took the stone.” This alarmed them all. “What? Jarvis do you have the security recording?” The ai repeated that it had been erased. “This isn’t good, not at all.” Bruce said. The sound of engines got louder and they watched as a gauntlet class ship landed on the balcony. The ramp dropped and Sheyo walked out. Tony placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find it. But you need to go and do what you need to do.” He could see that there were tears building in his eyes but still held a smile. 

The avengers walked him out to the ship. Each of them said their goodbyes to him. Steve reached out his hand but (M/N) pulled him into a hug. “Bye Steve. See ya in a bit...take care of my dad.” Steve seemed to understand what he meant and nodded. Finally it was time to say goodbye to his dad. “Well...at least I get to say goodbye this time.” Tony laughed and shook his head. “Not goodbye, just see ya later.” (M/N) smirked and hugged his dad. “You know it. I’ll try and be as quick as I can. I have a bad feeling things are about to get a lot more difficult.” Tony rolled his eyes, still hugging him. “Well if it’s easy it’s no fun.” (M/N) groaned. “Says you! I like it when I don’t have to constantly be worried for my life...I love you dad.” Tony hugged him just a little bit tighter. “I love you more.” With that he let go and turned to the ship. “Oh! I almost forgot. Here!” He turned back around and gave dad his comlink. “This way we can keep in some sort of contact and it’s not just static for two years.” Tony huffed out a laugh and (M/N) gave one last goodbye to everyone before turning to the ship.

Sheyo smiled as he boarded the ship. “Ready to go?” He nodded. Ven was at the controls and Sheyo sat in the co-pilot's seat, (M/N) sitting behind Ven. “About time. Let’s leave this place.” The engines roared and the ship began flying away. It was only then watching the city getting smaller did (M/N) realize he didn’t get to say goodbye to Peter. He’d have to apologize next time he came...hopefully both survived long enough. “Next stop, Alderaan.”

[pocket-luv101]

Heartstrings || Chapter 3

Fandom: Servamp Ship: KuroMahi (main), LawLicht (side), Tetsono (side) Characters: Kuro, Mahiru, Hyde, Licht, Tetsu, Misono

Summary: Kuro goes to take a nap in the staircase behind the school and sees Mahiru holding a broken guitar. After he helps him repair the guitar string, Mahiru asks him to teach him how to play. (Given AU/Band AU)

Ch.1 || Ch.2 || (Ch.3) ||

“Are you okay, Kuro? You seem distracted.” Hyde asked his brother. Due to Kuro’s personality, others wouldn’t question why he was silent throughout most of their rehearsal. He could sense that there was something on his brother’s mind though. Kuro didn’t immediately answer him so Hyde thought he could teasingly joke with him. “Did you get rejected by someone?”

“Something like that.” He didn’t take his eyes off his guitar as he absentmindedly answered Hyde. Kuro played a few random notes and tried to match them to the song he would often hear Mahiru hum. After he listened to him sing in the staircase, he asked him if he wanted to join his band. They needed a vocalist and his alluring voice would fit their sound well.

He hadn’t expected him to say no. He thought of how persistent and passionate Mahiru was whenever he asked him how to play the guitar. Kuro assumed that he was interested in music. He was more surprised by the rejection he felt by his answer. He only joined the band as a favour for his brother but he didn’t care about success. Something about Mahiru’s song struck him though.

He wondered if he would see him in the staircase on Monday. What would he say if he was there? The first day he met Mahiru in the staircase, Kuro was disappointed that he couldn’t sleep in his hiding place. He found himself looking forward to their short meetings now. He wanted to know more about Mahiru and to hear the song he constantly hummed.

“Nii-san!” Hyde’s voice overpowered his guitar and pulled Kuro out of his thoughts. He stood behind Kuro and shook his shoulders. “I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes but you wouldn’t answer me! I thought Tetsu was the one with his head constantly in the clouds. Oh, never mind that. You said you were rejected! By who? I didn’t know you were interested in someone. Tell me who.”

“Shut up, Shit Rat. I can’t hear my piano when you’re yelling like that. This is supposed to be a rehearsal so gossip after we’re done.” Licht kicked Hyde to stop him from bombarding him with more questions. Admittedly, he was also a little curious about who Kuro had confessed to. He had joined the band only a month before but he saw how he acted uninterested towards most things.

When Hyde first asked if they could join the band, Licht was against it. The brothers were clearly talented but they played half-heartedly. He started the band because Misono told him about his childhood friend and he wanted to help him reconnect to music. Such half-hearted feelings wouldn’t reach his friend. In the end, Misono invited them to join the band and Licht could only accept his decision.

“I didn’t ask anyone on a date. I only asked Mahiru to become our vocalist.” He insisted. He was being truthful but a part of Kuro felt as if there was something he was hiding from his brother. Pushing aside the confusing feeling, he added: “Mahiru sang a little bit for me and his voice was beautiful. He’s always asking me about music so I thought I would be interested in joining. He said no.”

“Is this the Mahiru that Tetsu told me about? He watched your rehearsal last week.” Misono hadn’t spoken with his friend since he moved to a new school. Despite how often Mahiru helped him when they were children, he wasn’t able to do the same for him. He held the guilt for years but he told himself that he would face him again after he created a band.

When Tetsu told him that Mahiru watched their band and how he wanted to learn how to play the guitar. He thought that he might’ve moved on. Yet, it was clearly more complicated. Music was important to Mahiru and Misono didn’t want to see him give it up.

“Big Brother Neko, this article might help you. I searched up what you should do.” Tetsu held out his phone to Kuro so he could read the screen. He read the title and his face became bright red.

“This is an article about how to ask out a girl after she rejects you. I said that isn’t what happened at all. Can’t deal.” Kuro pushed the phone back into Tetsu’s hand. He doubted the tall student had intended to tease him with the article but he couldn’t stop himself from bushing. He didn’t understand why he would feel so flustered over the misunderstanding.

“Maybe you should actually take the article’s advice and ask Mahiru on another date to see our band. I want to hear him sing.” His brother was an introvert and he didn’t have a lot of friends. Hyde was curious about Mahiru and what made his brother interested in him. He appeared to be a simple student when they met at the rehearsal last week.

“You give terrible dating advice, Shit Rat. Mahiru will think Kuro’s annoying if he keeps asking him out even though he already said no. I don’t know how you’re able to find a new girlfriend each week.” Licht rolled his eyes at the brothers. “You’re half-hearted with romance, music and school. Is there anything that you’re actually interested in?”

A devilish smile spread across Hyde’s face and he winked at him. He didn’t say a single word and that irritated Licht more than any answer he could give. He jumped to his feet and his hand slammed on his electric keyboard harder than he intended. A cluster of angry notes echoed around the room. The sound reminded Licht that he shouldn’t fight Hyde with so many delicate instruments around them.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Licht said and walked out of the studio room. The others could see that he was angry and they thought it would be pointless to talk to him before he calmed down. The only one who chased after him was Hyde.

Kuro watched them leave and shook his head. While the two would often argue with each other and have their disagreements, they didn’t appear to hate each other. “Those two need to be better at communicating with each other.”

“Speaking of communicating,” Misono said to Kuro. “Did you ask Mahiru why he doesn’t want to be our vocalist? Maybe you should talk to him about it without pushing.”

The lunch bell rang and Mahiru put away his books into his backpack. His eyes drifted to Kuro who sat a few desks in front of him. He was sleeping at his desk with his hood over his head. They texted each other over the weekend but their conversations had been short. He wanted to talk with him more but he was afraid he would become awkward if their conversation drifted to the topic of music.

Mahiru had planned to wait to see whether Kuro would go to talk with him again but it appeared that he would spend his lunch sleeping at his desk. Kuro had complimented his voice and asked him to be the singer of his band. His words made Mahiru’s heart flutter and tighten at the same time. He was happy that Kuro liked his singing yet he always felt sad when someone asked him to sing. He couldn’t have known the effect his request would have and Mahiru didn’t want to lose their new friendship over the question.

Mahiru took a deep breath before he crossed the room to Kuro’s desk. He lightly tapped on his shoulder to wake him and he groaned in response. The yawn he made sounded like a grumpy cat and laughter escaped Mahiru. His voice woke Kuro and he turned his head from where it was hidden in his arm. He was surprised to find Mahiru kneeling next to his desk.

“You shouldn’t be sleeping in class, Kuro. The teacher has given up on waking you up every few minutes but that’s not a good thing.” Mahiru lectured him and leaned against his desk. “During lunch, my friends on the soccer team will be running around the track to improve their endurance during lunch. He invited me to join him and hang out. I was hoping you’ll come with me. You slept for a good hour so you must have a lot of energy.”

Kuro hadn’t expected him to invite him to spend time with him outside of the staircase. He would only ask him to teach him how to play the guitar. Even though he didn’t like sports or exercise, Kuro nodded and stood from his desk. His silent answer made Mahiru’s face beam with a smile. The moment he put on his guitar case and stood next to him, he took Kuro’s hand and pulled him out of the classroom.

“I’m glad that you agreed so quickly, Kuro. I thought I would have to bribe you into exercising with food or something. Since I always pack too much food for myself, I’ll still share some with you. I like to cook but I rarely have a chance to share it with someone.” Mahiru led him down the hall. “Do you want to race to see who’s faster?”

“We both know that you’ll win. Please, don’t make this poor kitty run, Mahiru. I would rather just walk around the track with you anyways.” He said casually but Mahiru’s eyes widened slightly. Then, his expression softened and he nodded with a laugh. “After I spend the lunch period running, I’ll sleep through the rest of school. I hope you’re ready to take responsibility for that.”

“I don’t mind if it’s you.” He knew that Kuro was only joking with him so he flirted back. Mahiru doubted he had expected him to do so from the blush that rose onto Kuro’s neck. He chuckled lightly and then walked to the doors leading outside.

They walked outside and Mahiru enjoyed the cool breeze. He liked spending time with him in the staircase but going outside was a fun change of pace. He spotted his friend on the track field and he waved to him. Kuro saw the amount of people on the field and he hesitated slightly. Even though he was accustomed to crowds when his bands played at venues, he wasn’t the best with people.

Mahiru noticed how Kuro’s steps slowed slightly and looked up at him. He took his large hand into his and squeezed it lightly. He could feel the calluses on his fingers. “Mafuyu and the others are really nice and I’m sure you’ll get along with them. Don’t worry about feeling awkward. You don’t have any trouble talking with me so focus on that.”

“I wasn’t afraid of talking with people but the running. The track field is bigger than I thought it would be.” He said and shrugged. Mahiru’s reassurance made him feel more comfortable. He had a lot of fun simple talking with him and his presence could make running the track bearable. Kuro wondered how his siblings would react if they saw him with the soccer team.

They crossed the school yard together and Mahiru introduced him to his friends. Kuro put down his bag on the ground and leaned his guitar case against it so people wouldn’t step on it accidentally. He expected Mahiru to place his own guitar in the pile of bags. Instead, he walked onto the track and motioned for him to run with him. The guitar wasn’t heavy but it would be tiring to carry it everywhere.

He could guess that Mahiru had his reasons to keep the guitar so close to him. He didn’t want to push him by asking him why. Kuro joined him on the track field and they began to run side by side. The guitar on his back would make the jog difficult so he matched his pace with Mahiru’s. The soccer team quickly passed them and a gap formed between them.

“I’m really happy that you came with me today.” Mahiru told Kuro and smiled up at him. “For a minute, I was worried that you wouldn’t. Your band needs a singer but I said no to your invitation. You even offered to teach me how to play the guitar in exchange. I don’t think I’ll be the right person for your band though Can we still be friends? We can hang out on the track field like this.”

“I’m not upset that you said no.” He said and Mahiru let out a breath of relief. “But I don’t know if I can survive running around the track every day. Maybe we can do something more relaxing instead. I’ll teach you how to play your guitar after school. That’s less troublesome than running.”

Mahiru stopped and frowned at him. “I said I didn’t want to be a singer.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll still teach you. Playing the guitar is important to you and that’s something a friend should support.” Kuro faced him and said, “You can pay me for the lesson with food. You’re always talking about how you’re a good cook and I’m a little curious.”

He was almost knocked off his feet when Mahiru threw his arms around his neck. Kuro wrapped his arms around his waist and he managed to keep them from falling to the ground. He looked down at Mahiru and their eyes met. His brown eyes were overflowing with happiness and he never thought a sight could make his heart race. They were so close and he worried he would be able to hear his heartbeat. Mahiru cupped his face and smiled. “Thank you, Kuro.”

Kuro and Mahiru would meet in the staircase to play their guitars. He had told him that he wanted to play a particular song so he taught him how to read music sheets. The song he wanted to play didn’t have music sheets for him to reference but it helped structure the song in his head. Over the past few days, he learned so much from Kuro.

Mahiru sat on a park bench and waited for Kuro to arrive. Since it was Friday and he needed to practise with his band after school, they agreed to meet in the nearby park around eight. There were a few minutes before he should arrive so he decided to practise the chords he showed him the previous day. He took out the notes Kuro had made for him.

Kuro gave him a notebook filled with drawings of the finger position to play each note. The notebook also held other advice to help him practise while he was home. Mahiru could tell that the notebook was new and the pages warmed his heart. He acted reluctant to teach him but it was clear he cared from the effort he put into the notebook.

“Sorry, I’m late.” He heard Kuro’s voice across the park and he looked up to see him. He was out of breath when he collapsed onto the bench next to him. “I agreed to teach you how to play the guitar so I could avoid exercising but I ended up running a mile anyways. Can’t deal. Our rehearsal ended up longer than usual because Tetsu broke his guitar stick. That kid is too strong.”

“I can picture something like that.” Mahiru laughed at the image. He considered waiting at the music shop but he didn’t want to distract the band while they practised. He handed a water bottle to Kuro and said, “You didn’t need to run. I wasn’t waiting here for long. Do you think we should go to the music shop to practise? It looks like the sun will be setting sooner than usual.”

Kuro tilted his head back to the side where the sun was slowly descending from the sky. “We should have an hour before it gets too dark to play. I showed you a few chords yesterday. When I started teaching myself how to play the guitar, I just memorized the chords and went from there. I don’t know if you’ll be the same as me though. Are there any that you’re having trouble with any of them?”

“The drawings you gave me have been helpful but I’m having trouble with his one chord. My hands feel uncomfortable when I play it and it doesn’t sound right.” Mahiru adjusted his position on the park bench so he was facing Kuro. He placed his fingers on the strings where he had marked in the notebook and strummed the guitar. “It sounds flat, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t place your finger directly on the fret but behind it a little. You’ll probably be more comfortable if you use your ring finger and middle finger here instead. Hold still.” He slowly moved his fingers into the correct position. Kuro noticed how small and soft his hands were. Without thinking, he stroked his thumb over Mahiru’s fingers. “You haven’t built up any callouses yet so playing will hurt for a while. It’ll eventually get better though. If you start bleeding, I have bandages.”

His fingers were a little swollen from the metal strings but Mahiru didn’t feel the dull pain. His focus was on Kuro’s tender touch running over his fingers. Mahiru noticed that Kuro’s hands were slightly larger than his and he wondered what would happen if he held it. He knew that Kuro was only sitting close to him to help him with his technique but there was a small flutter in his stomach.

“Try playing the chord now and see if it feels better.” His voice pulled Mahiru out of his thoughts and he nodded to hide that he was distracted. He strummed the strings and watched for Kuro’s reaction in the corner of his gaze. He had a subtle smile as he ruffled his brown hair. “That sounds better. Once you feel comfortable with all of the chords, we can work on putting them together to play a song.”

“Will you stop playing with my hair, Kuro?” Mahiru pouted and smoothed his hair back into place.

They returned to playing the guitar and Kuro would give him advice occasionally. He had given him a few lessons over the week and he was surprised by how quickly he had progressed. Kuro sat back and watched Mahiru repeat the same chord. He wasn’t bored because he enjoyed watching the joy in Mahiru’s face as he played.

A string of claps broke through the moment and Kuro turned towards the person. He didn’t recognize the brunette man but there was something familiar about him. The man seemed to know Mahiru though. “I was going to surprise you by coming home early but you’re the one who surprised me. I never thought I would see that guitar again.”

Mahiru nodded and then he hastily placed the guitar back into its case as if he was hiding a secret. “I thought you were out of town with work, Uncle. You should’ve texted me if you were going to come back early. I made plans to eat at a restaurant with Kuro. I would’ve cooked something if I knew we could have a family dinner.”

“It’s okay, Mahiru. I already had dinner with my co-workers so you don’t need to worry about your old man.” He said. Kuro watched the two interact and he reasoned that the man was Mahiru’s uncle. He had told him of how he was adopted. “I know boys probably don’t want to hear something like this but you look just like your mother. You both have the same smile when you play the guitar. I’m glad that I could see it again. Why didn’t you tell me you were learning how to play?”

“I’m sorry, Uncle. I can’t talk about it right now.” Mahiru whispered. Before anyone could react, Mahiru jumped to his feet and dashed away from them. Kuro was confused by the way he suddenly ran away but he immediately ran after him.

Mahiru ran blindly through the sparse street without a destination in mind. He couldn’t face his uncle after he saw him with the guitar that didn’t belong to him. He was in a desperate haze and he didn’t hear Kuro call his name behind him. The only thing that forced him to stop was his legs giving way under him. He didn’t know how long or far he ran but the weight of emotions made him exhausted.

He thought he would fall forward but then strong arms wrapped around him from behind. Kuro’s embrace kept him from falling. Mahiru turned his face slightly to Kuro but he couldn’t see his expression because his forehead was leaned against his shoulder. He could feel his heavy breathing against his neck. He was afraid that Kuro would judge him for his reaction to his uncle’s innocent question. Others would call him emotional or dramatic for running away.

“Are you okay?” Kuro whispered against his skin and it sent a warm shiver throughout Mahiru. He leaned back against his chest and absentmindedly plucked at his guitar string. He moved out of his arms and turned around. Mahiru’s gaze didn’t leave the ground and Kuro leaned down to see his face better. His lips were pressed into a stiff line and his brown eyes were filled with sorrow. “Mahiru?”

The moment their eyes met, Mahiru faked a smile and said: “I’m sorry I made you run after you said these lessons are to avoid exercising.”

“I complain about running but I don’t really mind a little exercise.” Kuro wanted to lighten the mood with the joke but Mahiru’s expression didn’t change. The smile he wore now didn’t hold the sunlight he came to know. His heart felt uneasy and he wondered when Mahiru’s smile became so important to him. “Did you want to keep our guitar lessons a secret from your uncle?”

Mahiru bit his lip and debated if he should tell Kuro about the reason that he wanted to learn the guitar. They only met recently and his problems could be too burdensome for him. He felt Kuro’s fingers brush through his bangs and he finally looked up at him. Kuro asked, “Is it something you can’t tell me about?”

Mahiru shook his head and told him: “I don’t know how to tell people what I’m feeling. I always worry that my feelings would burden people. No one wants a boy who won’t stop crying. Other people have their own problems and it’ll be easier for everyone if I show people the reaction that they want me to see. Instead of crying, people will be more at ease if I put on a brave smile.”

Even as Mahiru smiled reassuringly to Kuro, his fingers were trembling over his guitar. “It was really sweet of you to invite me to your band but I won’t fit in, Kuro. I should’ve explained my reason the first time you asked me. For a band to succeed, you need to communicate your song’s meaning to the audience. Any song I sing will sound shallow because I’m terrible at expressing my honest feelings.”

Kuro could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He wanted to hold Mahiru in his arms and comfort him but he gripped his jacket at his side to stop himself. At the same time, he thought of their past interactions. The determination he had each time he asked him how to play the guitar. The wonder in his eyes as he listened to his band. The pain Mahiru couldn’t hide whenever he avoided Kuro’s questions about his guitar. Those were Mahiru’s honest feelings yet he belittled himself.

“You can’t express your feelings? How can you say something so stupid while smiling?” Kuro yelled without thinking and surprised them both. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from pouring out. “I could hear your feelings when you sang and it moved me. That’s the reason I invited you to the band!”

More emotions clouded Mahiru’s face: confusion, shock and uncertainty. Lastly, hope softened his eyes and overpowered the past emotions. He parted his lips slightly but the words he wanted to say didn’t leave his mouth. He felt as if there was something gripping his lungs. Kuro touched his neck and Mahiru wondered if he was still able to understand him.

“You don’t have to join the band if singing makes you feel vulnerable.” He patted his head. “We should head back to your park or else your uncle will worry. Do you want to buy a soda on the way? I’ll pay.”

“Kuro,” Mahiru whispered his name. He stepped closer to him until their toes touched and the only thing between them was his guitar. They were so close that he could count Kuro’s long eyelashes. He hadn’t noticed how beautiful his eyes were. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his broad chest. In a soft voice, Mahiru began to sing. His song didn’t have any words but Kuro understood it’s meaning.

I’m a little uncertain but I feel safe with you. I want to try singing with your band, Kuro.

[prairiedust]

More Last Holiday Musings...

I want to poke at that interdimensional geoscope a little more, because upon reading it over again, I think I splashed it up a little fast and there are a couple of points I’d like to be clearer about. I meant to queue this up to post last night but also want it to be up before Gimme Shelter so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

This is more blue curtains lit crit with a dash of folklore and an honorable mention for post-structuralism. And we’re talking about Supernatural after all, so this is sort of... well, it’s about endings.

Last Holiday was not a typical “filler” or even a typical MOTW episode. It felt extremely insular, possibly more so than any other episode I can think at any other point in the series. As opposed to the usual crowd of “locals,” a spate of victims, and a couple of red herring suspects, the only other people in this ep besides the Winchesters (including Jack) and Mrs. Butters were the two vampires and Cuthbert Sinclair. There was no “case” as in a usual MOTW-- there was no Chuck Struggle, either, and the lack of mytharc was strange against the lack of “filler” schema. That lack of “MOTW investigation” marked this episode also as being about “curiosity”-- the Winchesters all-too-quickly took Mrs. Butters for granted-- Dean even dismissed her as a “Magic Roomba” and that seemed to settle the matter. Furthermore, the moment that Dean spotted Mrs. B in his room, the stage was set for Antics ™ when she held up his goofy Scooby boxers, and indeed a zaniness, an almost manic energy drove the action forward at a breakneck pace. [Spoiler alert, we do get “investigation” in the next episode, 15x15 Gimme Shelter, as stills and the preview show that Castiel and Jack will be teaming up together, in yet another shake-up of the usual “MOTW” template, almost like we can expect the other side of a coin when Sam and Dean switch places with Cas...] These features set Last Holiday apart as not so much “filler” as “between,” as in there was struggle before, and there will be struggle after, but for a while there was cake. (Contrast this to the usual “peril of the threshold” that usually shrouds liminality if you’d like.)

At the end of Last Holiday, however, we finally get to find out what that old blue telescope really is, and with that name we get confirmation that there are no more alternate universes-- Chuck has burned them all. Viewers are left to come to the conclusion that in retrospect the telescope-thing could have changed the course of season 13 completely. The reveal is played off as darkly funny, but it’s also kind of a gut-wrenching moment, too. All the heartbreak of the last two and a half years, reviewed now through the lens of “if only.” If only they’d known about Mrs. Butters from the time they found the bunker, “none of this would have happened”… they’d have had monster radar, they’d have had the geoscope, they would have had supernatural help of a completely different level.

The temptation to read Last Holiday as a Chuck-free episode is strong, but fraught-- the threat of Chuck’s involvement has been established by a pattern this season (well the pattern is woven throughout the whole series really but Dabb has deliberately structured these last three seasons with an exponentially increasing frequency.) I feel like we’ve been conditioned this season in particular to hold ourselves in a perpetual flinch, to be afraid of what we’ll learn “in retrospect.” That geoscope was really_good_subtext, and it is entirely possible, even encouraged, at this point in the plot to take information we’ve learned from the naming of the object, examine our own conditioned response to this episode, and apply both things to the structure of the season so far and make a prediction as to what might happen in the main plot. That’s what I mean about subtext getting loud. We’ve been given the green-light to make a prediction about The Struggle and march forward with it, and see if we will be correct by extrapolating the pattern, or if that expectation will be subverted (the twist is set up to run either way, so either outcome is satisfying.) It is Melville-esque architecture of the highest degree;I could write another thousand words just about that. So I have a prediction that I’m hanging on to, because of what we’ve learned from the geoscope, and what kinds of clues were hung up in Last Holiday, and I’m super excited to either have my hunch confirmed or be frightfully and delightedly surprised. I mean, where the fuck did Jeremy Adams even come from? He’s like our own Mrs. Butters, showing up in the last quarter to run a couple game-changing balls into the end zone, it’s bonkers. I mean, I know writing mysteries is hard and requires still AND cunning, but damn, son.

But anyway, back to the geoscope… 

I’m perplexed, from a very “lit crit” perspective, but this is where I’m at and why I referenced blue curtains-- if you shine too bright a light on subtext, does it evaporate-- like looking through an interdimensional geoscope and not seeing anything-- or is “subtext” sometimes not some ephemeral fever-dream that we as viewers conjure up through our experiential interlocution with the text but something a writer has steeped into the narrative as part of their craft? Or when you’re talking about an evolving iteration of writers, is it possible that one picks up a thread that another wove in for something else, repurposing or amplifying it? And, when perhaps is something deliberately instilled in the text in order to become “text” at just the right time? In Moby Dick, [spoiler alert lol] Quequeg’s coffin-- formerly one of many symbolic vehicles used to foreshadow the doom of the Pequod-- is repurposed as a life buoy and becomes the actual object that saves Ishmael’s life, transforming it from a portent of disaster to a symbol of salvation and then to one of Ishmael’s guilt for surviving Ahab’s madness-- the guilt that had been made text by the very opening line of the book, “Call me Ishmael.” In retrospect, the connotations of wandering, exile and salvation behind the name that the narrator gives himself become crystal clear. The problem that the post-structuralist model of “reading” as simultaneously “creating the text” has manufactured is that the idea that “subtext” can often be discounted as something dreamed up wholecloth by the reader, and thus inferior, imaginary, even delusional (and I use that last word knowing what a loaded term that is in the spn fandom, but this is not about a ship, even) where once it was considered to be a valid and measurable part of the text itself, like that dang coffin. It was the basement, the underpinnings, the catacombs below the opera house sure, but it helped to hold up the structure. And for some reason, putting subtext into a piece of media has become passe, or cringe? Anyway, not to be bitter on main but it didn’t used to be this way, at least not in the heady early days of postmodernism. So that green light? Critical hit against blue curtains. And while yes, some readings are going to be better supported than others, and the wild variety of checklists in this fandom mean that some conclusions have been drawn which can’t pan out, if you’re paying attention to the structure, the subtexts, the alchemical/psychoanalytical/postmodern themata, the ending will be very satisfying. 

So. What was once speculated to be a symbol for emotional lows or turning points (among other things) in the bunker was textually hit with a bright green light, then Dean got curious about it in text, and we were told-- in text-- that oh it’s just a fancy spyglass, and now that the other worlds are gone, it has no purpose…. that’s what I mean about the geoscope now being “pure”-- it wasn’t clear whether the telescope ever had any function, subtetxtual or not, and now that it’s certain what it’s “function” was, it’s now freed up as a “symbol”-- unless like in Moby Dick it’s new “purpose” is revealed later, but right now it’s caught in this liminal place of not-quite-clue and not-quite-metaphor... 

However, and I didn’t put this in my first post because I was trying to be fast and not a wet blanket, but I felt like finally naming the geoscope was an ending. 

This is literally Singer, Dabb, and Co tidying up the house before locking it behind them.

I think when Dean said he didn’t see anything through the “telescope thing,” that we’re to understand that maybe this was the last hurrah of the cute, zany, campy “subtext” or even “metatext” if you’d rather that so many of us have been parsing and which has gotten so weird and bright since season 12/13. I think I said in one of the folklore posts that writing about some of the things I write about feels like making daisy chains in the endzone during the big game. Which is fun, that’s how I personally got through having to be in AYSO soccer for four years, by looking for four leafed clovers and eating orange quarters. And we got a wood nymph in this episode, textually even, so I could easily check the “folklore” box on this one. But the sheer euphoria of Last Holiday and all the sparkles it brought into the story aren’t meant to last. When you look back on fifteen years of text, a lot of it is bleak, miserable stuff. That’s not to say that episodes like Yellow Fever and Hunteri Heroici and Fan Fiction et al shouldn’t be celebrated. But I think from here on out, things are going to be less “golly gee, three birthdays!” and more “There she blows! --there she blows! A hump like a snowhill!”

This episode was a gift in many ways, not just for the sense of glee it transmitted-- it also did so much work and there are things I want to yell about in the way language was hit, the red versus green lighting, the way the backwards holidays worked, the projector as a metaphor for Mrs. B projecting her regrets and fears onto Jack, the amount of food that was created and consumed, how that smoothie was also an echo of “fairy food” or an underworld pact if you squint-- but the stakes are so high now. We haven’t been shown the next valley-- there was no final scene of Chuck rubbing his hands together like the villain from a melodrama, for example-- but the last image we got was Jack blowing out a candle. After the candle is blown out, the cake is dismantled and consumed. Once the story is over, all the themes that are so hard to grapple in a text like a television show can be gathered up and analyzed. (IS that all, though? After all, Dean made his own cake later, which, like, echoes of the “oh two cakes” comic lol...)

Since I really never want to leave anything I toss out on this blog on a last note of doom and gloom, however, I do want to say that I too understand what that last image meant. It meant, as Sam said, make a wish. Think of the future, think of free will, and hope for something wonderful to happen. (or do like me and wonder what the hell Jack wished for with dread and anticipation ha ha ha.)

[concussed-to-pieces]

Stay Safe Part Six: Go Alone

Fandom: The Mandalorian [Star Wars]

Pairing: Eventual Mandalorian [Din Djarin]/Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Welcome, welcome! I hope you all are doing well. We get a touch salacious in this one, you could say. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @wrestlingfae @toxiicpop @helplessly-nonstop @culturalrebel @sinnamon-bunn @literal-fand0m-trash @fioccodineveautunnale @hxldmxdxwn @lizajane3 @thewaythisis @nellyneko @absurdthirst @kylolover96 @crownofmanga @eli-bourne

Part One: Should Have Known Better

Part Two: Tranquil Turmoil

Part Three: Vibroblade Mettle

Part Four: Reaching Out

Part Five: Dark Past

"So…" you began, swinging your legs back and forth nonchalantly from your customary spot in the co-pilot seat.

"If you have something to ask, then ask." The Mandalorian replied curtly.

Well that was encouraging. "I know it's none of my business, but I was...um, you and Xi'an, did you guys ever…" You trailed off, the reflection of your face in the back of his helmet reminding you anew of the prudence of silence. "You know what, f-forget I even asked, I'm sorry, I know I-"

"We did not." He interjected stiffly.

"Oh!" You hated the relief that bled into your voice, over-certain that he had picked up on it. "But...I mean, the way that she-"

"Ran asked some...things of me to, er, maintain the status quo on the team when we operated together. Xi'an was a...a loose cannon, too useful and dangerous to be left to her own devices." The bounty hunter explained. "She enjoys the hunt. So I was the unattainable quarry."

"Oh." You weren't quite sure what to make of that. "She...hunted...you?"

"Not literally. She'd be dead." He said flatly. "Figuratively."

"But you guys didn't like...y'know." You barely refrained from making some weird, suggestive gestures. You were relatively certain that would get you slabbed immediately, despite his assurances to the contrary.

He shrugged. "Nope. Wasn't interested in the compromises she offered, and she, even if she didn't know it, preferred the mystery over the man." His voice was soft. 

You wondered if he had wanted her to know him. Really know him. Asking that would be incredibly invasive though, even more so than you had been already, so you bit back the query in lieu of pretending to check the munitions terminal.

"Why?" 

You jumped at his question, even though he hadn't been overly loud or sharp. "I uh-! I just...I was just curious, that's all." You blustered, rushing to unbuckle the seat harness. "Sorry, excuse me, I hear the-"

He reached back and touched your wrist, halting you mid-flight. He didn't say anything. Hell, he didn't even turn in the seat. 

His fingers slowly wrapped around your wrist, squeezed once, and then he released you. 

Confused, flushed, your heart hammering in your throat, you escaped down the ladder into the sanctuary of the hold. 

Once there you sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest after a moment. Your face felt like it was on fire. What was that?! you asked yourself in a panic, your hands curling into tight fists over your knees. Was that his way of chastising you for being so nosy? Or was it something a little more difficult to define?

You could still feel the weight of his armored hand on your wrist, the gentleness of the squeeze that belied the raw strength he had displayed numerous times.

The child yawned awake in their bassinet and you lunged upright, more than ready for the distraction.

…

"Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world that's pure and good and right." You began to sing several hours later, poking the frowning child and grinning when they burst into giggles. "And wherever you are and wherever you go, there's always gonna' be some light. But I gotta' get out, I gotta' break out now, before the final crack of dawn."

You scooped the kid up, swaying them back and forth in time with your singing.

"So we gotta' make the most of our one night together, cuz' when it's over, you know, we'll both be so alone…" You dipped the child, laughing through the chorus as they squealed and waved their tiny hands in glee. "Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes! When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone. Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes!"

You paused, posing dramatically and then continuing your madcap choreography with the child. They were clearly enjoying themselves, babbling along as you belted out the next part of the song and twirled through the hold.

"But when the day is done, and the sun goes down, and the moonlight's shining through...then, like a sinner before the gates of Heaven, I'll come crawling on back to you…" You gently tweaked the baby's nose, "you, youuuuu-" 

You spun around while taking a deep breath to carry on with the next verse, only to be met with the featureless stare of one Mandalorian bounty hunter. Your tune abruptly ended with a sharp hurk.

"You do cantina shows?" He asked casually after you had turned every shade of red imaginable. "You and the kid would be a hell of a performance." He slung one ankle over the other and leaned against the wall. "Came down to tell you that we're about ten minutes out from Sorgan."

"H-How long…" you trailed off, not sure if you really wanted to know. 

"Chorus." He answered the unfinished question. 

"Good. Great. Wonderful." You ducked your face to blow a raspberry on the child's cheek, using the time to effectively hide. Maker, this was so embarrassing!

"Was about to join in, but I prefer to leave singing and dancing to the professionals." He shrugged. "Singing is easier with a group of people who also wear armor and can't carry a tune to save their lives."

"You're not funny." You replied weakly.

"You sure about that, stowaway?"

"Positive. Unless you mean funny-looking."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "That cuts deep." He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back slightly, giving you the impression that he was studying you. "I've set up a rendezvous location with Dune. Hopefully, I'll be there and back by tomorrow morning."

"Oh! She agreed?" You exclaimed, more than a little surprised.

"All I had to do was tell her the Imps were involved and she was chompin' at the bit." He hesitated for a moment, then continued. "That being said, I'm gonna' take the kid with me and have you mind the ship."

"W...What?" You asked, uncertain if you had heard him correctly. 

"Look, it makes sense this way. Tracking fobs will be on the child. If I have him with me, both myself and Cara can keep him safe. Meanwhile, you have the ship primed and ready for takeoff. The failsafe."

"But…"

"You have to see it the way I do. If someone came after you and the kid while I was gone-" He cleared his throat. "I don't want to consider the outcome. So I'll bring him with me."

"No, I get it." You said shortly, moving past him to secure the child in their bassinet for the impending landing. They pouted, seeming upset that their playtime had come to such a sudden end. "I know, little one. We'll have more fun later. I promise." You whispered.

"Please don't be angry." The armored man sighed.

"I'm not angry." You retorted, "I'm...I'm peeved."

"Sounds kind of like you're angry." 

"Well that just...shows how much you know." You grumbled, latching onto the ladder and hauling yourself up into the cockpit (theoretically to escape from the bounty hunter). But of course, he followed. It is his ship, after all, you reasoned begrudgingly.

With the two of you standing awkwardly in the cockpit, it was more than a little cramped. The Mandalorian shifted his weight, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want anything to happen. To either of you." He sounded tired. "Whether you like it or not, the kid's a magnet for trouble. And out of the two of us, I'm the better fighter."

"I know that." You whispered, staring at the floor.

"I'm not...look, I know you care about him just as much as I do. Probably more. I barely remember blowing a hole in that droid and just praying that I shot it before it shot you." He muttered. "The idea of something happening to y--to that little womp rat is...dammit, I don't know. Maybe Xi'an was right. Maybe the Creed has made me soft." His tone was more frustrated now.

"I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing." 

He huffed incredulously. "In my line of work?"

"Well, you may need to get new business chits." You allowed. "Ones that say things like 'bounty hunter, father of one'." 

He took your hands in his own, ignoring your pointed ribbing in favor of staring down at you. "I'll keep him safe." He assured you.

"You…" You shook your head, and then dropped your forehead to rest on his breastplate. "You had better." You whispered harshly.

The drive system beeped rapidly, signaling that the Crest was preparing to drop out of hyperspace. 

Which it did immediately. 

With extreme prejudice. 

You lost your balance and stumbled bodily into the Mandalorian, who lost his own footing and met the rear cockpit wall with a resounding clatter of beskar. He quickly shifted himself to press your back to the flat surface, his knees bent slightly to keep his balance and arms holding you steady while the ship's trajectory smoothed out. 

"You alright?" He finally asked, sounding a little breathless. He hadn't let go of you yet, probably waiting to make certain you were secure.

"Yeah, are you?" You responded in kind, worriedly looking up at him. "I hit you pretty hard, I'm sorry."

He swallowed audibly, taking an inordinate amount of time to reply, "I--I'm fine." 

"I guess this means it's time to get ready."

"Yeah." The Mandalorian nodded. Something strange lingered in the way he had his head bent low and slightly to the side, how soft his voice was. It settled into the pit of your stomach, leaving you tongue-tied in his arms. 

Early morning sunlight poured through the cockpit's transparent shielding, warming the steely blue of his armor to a fiery bronze. What would it be like to kiss him? The thought skittered through your mind and you felt a rush of shame, averting your eyes out of the nonsensical fear that he might be able to read your thoughts. Was it wrong to wonder about something like that if the object of the fantasy was a Mandalorian? 

"You...you can let go of me now." You pointed out quietly after several seconds. "I think we've evened out."

"Oh!" He exhaled sharply, scrambling to remove his hands. He bumped his helmet into your chin in his rush, flinching when you yelped in pain. "Shit, shit, hang on." He cupped your face, carefully framing your jaw so he could examine your mouth. "I'm sorry, that'll probably bruise." He said ruefully. 

"I'll be okay. Serves me right for treating you like a landing pad." You tried to joke, waving off his concern.

His thumb swept carefully beneath your split lower lip, the motion achingly cautious. "You're bleeding." He murmured, following it with another quiet, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, I'll be fine." You answered just as quietly. "It was an accident."

"I know, I just...I'll go get something for that."

…

A comlink was dropped into your waiting palm, and then the Mandalorian tapped the side of his helmet. "That's rigged to my in-ear. Just be careful with the talk button, it sticks sometimes."

"Of course, yeah." You said absently, closing your fingers around the small tube. 

"You're not listening." He observed, his shoulders sagging a little in resignation.

"N-No, I totally am!" You protested.

"You're concerned."

"...well, yes."

"Don't be." His helmet pressed to your forehead.

"You know, as much as you want to be an infallible constant or some...untouchable warrior, you're not." You closed your eyes. "I'm scared because things seem to be getting tighter and tighter. Like a noose." There it was. The honest truth. The low-lying panic that had your stomach in knots.

"That's the plan, yes." He stated ever-so-helpfully. His hands hovered warily for a second before gripping your shoulders. "Nothing will go wrong. And even if it does, I've gotten out of worse scrapes than some Imps trying to kill me." Maker, he might be the least capable person alive when it came to the task of reassuring someone.

"Is it so bad of me to not want you to have to get out of it in the first place?" You retorted. 

"No, of course not." He replied, sounding a little confused. "But this is how it's always been."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm just...I'm being dumb again." You sighed. "Don't mind me."

He shook his head, then tipped it to the side. "You're not being dumb," He chastised, the tone of his voice strangely gentle again. "You're being careful. It's not your fault that I fight like I don't have anything to lose in nearly every situation." He hesitated for a moment. "It's...good of you to remind me. Makes me remember that I have others depending on me now." 

The smile was evident in his voice, and you felt your face light up despite your best efforts to maintain a neutral expression. "Well, good! You'd better stay safe, then. Promise me you will?"

The Mandalorian drew his thumb down the center of his breastplate, then tapped his fingers twice against his chin. "I promise." He said solemnly.

"What does that actually mean?" You asked curiously, gesturing at his chest.

"Thought in heart," He repeated the motion, "said with mouth. Two taps with two fingers on chin to indicate solid, rigid. Firm like beskar." You pulled your thumb down your chest and then tapped your chin in an approximation of his own gesture. He chuckled, moving forward and folding your fingers a little differently. "Just the first two of your hand. Index and middle. Trigger fingers." 

"D-Do you guys have other signs?" You queried, trying valiantly to hide how his touch had made your breath shudder.

"We wear helmets." He replied bluntly. "A lot of times we have to rely on gestures or body language instead of expressions." After a moment's pause he deadpanned, "this is the Way."

"Like what?"

He touched his hand to the side of his head, then fanned his fingers out. "Aru'e, enemy ahead, indicate how many with your fingers." He instructed, "So if there's three, you tuck your pinky, like this."

"What about this one?" You attempted to mimic the motion you had seen him direct at the child many times, startled when you heard him inhale roughly.

When he finally answered, his voice had a strange rasp to it. "Ad'ika. Little one, or Foundling. Start by pointing with two fingers. Again, solid, rigid, then one finger, for youth. Drag the thumb up from the corner of your mouth, for smile or joy, keep your hand open to indicate happiness." 

You clumsily tried to follow along, running through the gestures a few times until you didn't mix them up. Your heart squeezed in your chest as you realized that he had been silently referring to the child as a Foundling, as his Foundling. Possibly this entire time.

"Very good." He praised, thumping his armored knuckles against your own. "But just wait until we get to the difficult ones."

"How difficult are we talking?"

"You have shaadlar and nari, both of which mean move, but only one of them means to move. The other means move, just in general. So the gesture is like a shove, you put your whole arm into it like this…"

...

After he and the child left, you did your best to occupy yourself with some light repair work. The day stretched on like an interminable expanse, boredom and wariness combined to settle like a block of beskar in your stomach. 

You tried not to think about it, you really did. You didn't so much as touch the comlink. You kept yourself busy by sweeping out the hold, restacking and shoving the numerous crates into some semblance of order that wouldn't topple onto you in an emergency. Hell, you even used the cargo nets to actually secure the cargo. What was the world coming to?

Rain started to fall as the sun set, clouds tinted pink and orange from the fading rays. You squinted up at the sky and heaved a sigh, loathe to close yourself up in the Razor Crest but not incredibly eager to get rained on. 

You cast one last glance out towards the darkening woods as you waited for the hatch to close, shaking your head ruefully at your own behavior. This was pitiful.

You then proceeded to hang upside down in the ladder port long enough to give yourself a headache, staggering a little when you got to your feet. You fell into the captain's seat sideways, almost toppling off the other side of it with a quiet snicker. 

You wondered what he would say if he could see your antics. Probably something like, "get out of my chair, stowaway." Or maybe all you would get is that particular sigh he seemed to reserve just for you, the one that smacked of extra exasperation. You bit your lip, one foot on the floor moving the chair slightly side to side. 

How annoying. Right back where you started.

You cracked your knuckles and spread your fingers wide, imitating his sure motions as you hovered a safe distance above the toggles, switches and buttons on the control panels in front of you. You then shielded your eyes with your hand, staring studiously out from beneath your palm at the coniferous greenery that surrounded the Crest. 

"Hmm, yes stowaway, I see the problem." You mused theatrically, pitching your voice low to mimic his modulated tone, "the T of my visor appears to limit me to only seeing things that start with the letter T. Like tree." You turned your head, narrowing your eyes. "And troublemaker." Drawing an imaginary blaster, you sauntered over to the ladder port. "Alright quarry, you got two choices." You drawled, crouching by the port. "I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in-"

You stopped dead, straining your ears. What was that noise? It sounded like…

It came again, louder this time. Like a wet boot hitting the floor with a dull splat. Your heart began to pound and you reached for your knife. I'm trapped up here. How did they get in? I set the proximity alarms-!

If it was Klatoonians, you could kiss your ass goodbye. They would be out for revenge, probably assuming that the Mandalorian was onboard. But you weren't about to give them an easy time.

You waited at the top of the ladder, holding your breath for what felt like forever. Every once in a while, you would hear that sound again and it would send a new rush of trepidation through you. You waited, and waited.

And waited.

The suspense was going to kill you before whatever was in the hold could.

You finally let your breath out in a slow rush, steeling yourself. The hold was still illuminated with the running lights. You should have a fighting chance against whoever was down there. At least, you wouldn't be fumbling totally in the dark. That was kind of like having an advantage, right?

Before you could think better of essentially throwing yourself at the enemy, you slid down the ladder and whirled to face your aggressor. "I'm warning you, I'm-!" You trailed off in confusion, looking around warily at the seemingly-vacant hold. "...armed?"

Down at your feet, there was a quiet splat and a mudjumper bumped into the side of your boot.

You sighed, "you've got to be fucking kidding me." You squatted down, scooping up the befuddled creature. "You little bastard. I ought to feed you to the kid." You threatened, giving it a tap on the snout. "I thought you were somebody coming to destroy me."

The mudjumper blinked up at you, and then licked one of its eyes. You grimaced. 

"Yeesh. Alright, I'm evicting you." Elbowing the button to open the bottom slat of the ramp, you tipped the amphibious beast back out into the woods. "And good riddance." You huffed, brushing your hands off on your tunic. 

...

Late that evening you sprawled out on the floor of the cockpit, just enough room between the seats and the door to keep you comfortable. You could have slept in the bunk, of course, but you had been avoiding it. The memories of that droid staring you down were a bit too fresh at this particular juncture.

You had the comlink on the floor next to your head in case you needed it. You had checked and doublechecked the proximity alarm system. All was quiet in the woods around the Razor Crest. The only thing left was to shut your eyes and attempt to sleep.

Half an hour later you huffed in aggravation, rolling over onto your back for what felt like the hundredth time. Overhead, rain pattered softly against the clear cockpit shielding. 

Your gaze lingered on the comlink, picking it up after a momentary debate and pressing the button on the side. "H-Hey, are you there?" Your throat was so dry all of a sudden.

"Yeah." He replied almost immediately. "Trouble?"

You closed your eyes in relief at the familiar sound of his voice. "No, sorry. I just…figured I'd check in before I go to bed. Status update."

"Made it to the rendezvous point. Set up a post here for the night. Will head out at dawn if no contact." He said quietly, static softening his modulation. 

"How's the baby?"

"Tired." There was a muffled rustling noise. "He conked out as soon as we stopped moving."

"Make sure he eats, please."

"Copy."

You sat there awkwardly for several seconds before clicking the button one last time to wish him a peaceful night (which he didn't respond to, of course) and placing the comlink carefully back on the floor. You wrapped your arms around your legs, thumping your forehead against your knees in frustration. "Why is it so hard to talk to him?" You mumbled. "Gods, I just…" You trailed off, rubbing at your eyes. "This is stupid. I'm being stupid." You berated yourself, sliding down onto your back even as you spoke.

You stared up at the rain-speckled shielding for several more minutes, chewing on your lower lip feverishly while you replayed his voice in your head. Even when he didn't speak, he somehow managed to say what he needed to. You thought of the tilt of his helmet when he was studying something, the way his hands hungrily devoured his environment. He could be as bad as the kid sometimes when it came to touching things. 

Then, there was the soft hitch of his breath when he had to speak a little louder; his vast library of groans, grunts and sighs. For being so stoic, he certainly made a lot of noises. Noises that, should your mind be so inclined towards thinking in a more lascivious manner, piqued your interest.

A wicked thought came to you, riding on the memory of him being poisoned. Honest words tumbling out of his mouth in a frenzy, the way he had looked at you, really looked at you. You could feel his stare even through his visor, "nice t' look at, too."

Did he really think about you like that? And earlier, when the ship had dropped out of hyperspace...

Born of your loneliness, or maybe just touch-starved infatuation, your imagination conjured up a racy scenario for you to enjoy. The idea of him settling in between your legs with a modulator-filtered curse had your breath quickening, and you warred momentarily with your guilt. Ludicrously, you came up with the justification that as long as you didn't imagine him without his helmet, it probably wasn't that offensive. 

Effectively granted permission for your thoughts, you undid the clasps on your placket and shoved your pants down around your ankles. Tonight, you decided, you would take your time. You were truly alone for the first instance in what felt like a short eternity, and it was time to indulge. 

You rolled over and got your knees beneath you, arching your back. Your trembling palm traveled down the length of your body, the slightly-colder skin making you dream of the slide of beskar on your sensitive belly and thighs. The first graze of your fingers had you whimpering into your blanket, gods it had been too long. You were barely even wet yet and already you were aching. You sobbed out a breath, your chest rubbing against the blanket with your motions. 

In your mind, however, it was the Mandalorian cupping your breasts, the Mandalorian's fingers that tortured you in near silence. You canted your hips, whispering, "please," already begging for more. Would he keep his gloves on during the act, stain the leather with your arousal? Or would he be too hungry to resist touching you barehanded? "Stars, please-" 

You plucked at your nipple with a soft little whine and teased yourself with your fingers at the edge of your entrance. How full would he make you feel? Would he shove himself in all at once, or make you beg for it? Would he tease you?

Your fingers plunged in and you gasped, your eyes rolling back in your head when you curled your index. Just thinking about him touching you in this way was enough to have you in spasm! Stars, you had it bad. 

But what if he wanted you just as much as you wanted him? What if, what if...

"Oh please fuck me…" you moaned. "I need you, pl-please-" It felt silly, but also infinitely hotter to finally say it out loud, almost as if you were practicing for the real thing. "Gods, fuck me open with that Mandalorian cock, please please please-" you rambled, giving in to the urge to be as filthy as you wished. 

Your own sense of touch faded away, replaced with the scuff of imaginary leather or the sleek glide of beskar. What would he sound like? Would he be vocal? Or would he be stoic, silent, just taking what he needed from you?

"I'm so wet for you." You crooned, spreading your legs a little wider. "So wet, just for you…" Slick pooled in your palm when you ground your clit down against the heel of your hand, the heated noise it made startlingly loud in the quiet of the cabin. "I want to feel your cock, want to know what you feel like inside me, gods, please…"

You had never felt so boldly lewd in all your life as you fucked yourself with your own fingers, your mouth running away from you when you sped up.

"It's not enough." You panted. "Not enough, my fingers aren't enough…gods, I need my Mandalorian to fuck me right. Please, please please I need you." You bit down on the blanket, rocking your hips against your hand frantically. "Please, please, fill me up, please, fuck me, fuc-k me…" you begged into the fabric, your thighs quivering as your body pulled tight in anticipation.

When you came apart, it was like stars filled your eyes. You writhed against your own hand, hips shuddering out of sync. You wished that he was inside you, you wished more than anything that you could feel him-

"I'm coming, please-" You whimpered through your orgasm, relaxing boneless on the blanket as exhaustion finally dragged at you.

When you could move again, you wiped your fingers off on your thigh and stretched, moaning in self-satisfaction before tugging your pants back up. Then, you shakily got to your feet to go clean yourself up in the refresher. 

You barely remembered getting back to your blankets, slumber already encroaching even as you climbed the ladder up to the cockpit.

…

The next morning you awoke early, feeling incredibly refreshed and chipper. Clearly that evening of hands-on indulgence was what you had been missing from your life, and you vowed to make more time for yourself in the future.

After your hearty breakfast of canned meat and some vegetables you managed to scare up, you retrieved the comlink to check in on the Mandalorian. "Stowaway to Mandalorian, all clear on my end. ETA?" 

No reply. 

You frowned, turning the small tube over in your hand. The button to talk was still depressed even after you had released it, effectively silencing any message that might have been directed at you. You pursed your lips and tugged out your knife, carefully using the tip to free up the button. Then, you tried again, this time being more delicate with the button so it didn't get caught. "Stowaway to Mandalorian, sorry for any feedback. Technical difficulties. All clear on my end. ETA?"

"I told you the damn button would get stuck if you weren't careful." He griped, making you grin.

"Aw, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" You teased.

"Didn't sleep well. We're fifteen minutes out, Dune walking drag. No pursuers yet, but get everything stowed and ready." He ordered curtly.

"Will do." You replied, saluting even though he couldn't see you. 

It didn't take much time for you to have all equipment squared away in preparation to launch, and you waited impatiently at the top of the loading ramp to spot the gleam of his armor through the trees. 

Soon enough, out he and Cara strode with the child in tow. The little one was babbling wildly as they toddled along beside the two adults, obviously carrying on quite the conversation. "Dune!" You greeted the ex-trooper happily, getting pulled into a rib-cracking hug for your trouble. "And I missed you!" You sang to the kid, scooping them up off the ground to briefly fly overhead. "Were you good for your papa?" You asked, beeping their nose softly. "Didn't cause him any trouble, right?"

You heard the Mandalorian sputter strangely, the armored man suddenly struck by a fit of coughing. Cara thumped him on the back worriedly. "Tadpole's an angel. Eats all his vegetables and everything." She assured you with a grin.

"Enough small talk. There's still one more stop after this." The Mandalorian managed to say, straightening back up and fidgeting with his gauntlets.

"Are you alright?" You asked, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. He actually jumped at the contact and you pulled back, confused.

"Sorry, I...I didn't get much sleep." His chuckle sounded forced, but he still bumped his helmet briefly against your forehead before he headed up the boarding ramp. 

Carasynthia cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowed at the armored man's back. But all she did was huff out a breath and follow after him, leaving you to bring up the rear with the child. "All that battle-rattle must be scrambling his brain." She muttered to you, making you snicker.

"Sit down and strap in." The Mandalorian called, already halfway up the ladder to the cockpit.

"Well pollywog, you heard the boss." Dune shrugged at the child, smirking when they started giggling. "Stars, why can't human kids be as nice as this one? Human kids always look like angry piglets."

…

The final stop between Sorgan and Nevarro was on Arvala-7.

An old Ugnaught came to greet you all at the door of what was clearly his modest moisture farm, his deep-set eyes roving over the group laid out in front of him. "I see your family has grown, Mandalorian. More Foundlings?" He asked dryly.

"I need your help." The armored man rasped, getting right to the point.

"I assumed as much. Why else would you return? Come in, all of you. Whatever you need, I'm certain it can wait until after supper." The Ugnaught urged, waving for you to follow.

The small dwelling was somewhat cramped with everyone squeezed into the common area, and you kept accidentally bumping elbows with Cara. After the Ugnaught had plated some strange-looking concoction (which ended up tasting surprisingly good), he settled down into his chair with a grunt. "I too have gained an addition, my armored friend." He mused, gesturing towards the doorway.

A tall, thin droid carefully bent nearly double to enter the structure, a tray gripped in its digits. "Would anyone care for some tea?" It enquired.

Before it had finished speaking the Mandalorian had his blaster out and aimed. You blinked up at him, a little startled. The Ugnaught raised a peaceable hand. "Please, please, lower your blaster. It will not harm you."

"That thing is programmed to kill the baby." The Mandalorian snapped furiously.

"What?!" You shrieked, hurrying to unsheath your vibroblade. Cara's elbow slammed against your bicep as she pulled her own blaster out and you yelped, almost losing your grip on the knife.

The droid's multiple sets of eyes whirred in the silence that followed, the metallic being observing the weapons leveled at it. "That was its intended purpose, yes. But I have rebuilt it." The Ugnaught answered serenely.

"How much of it, though?" You waved your hands, sputtering, "I don't mind droids, but hell."

"Your Mandalorian trusts me, or at least my work. IG-11 no longer poses a threat to the child." 

"I trust it under certain circumstances." The armored man muttered, his blaster staying exactly where it was. "Is it still a hunter?"

"No. But it will protect."

The IG unit seemed to be staring at the Mandalorian, who was glaring back at it harder than you had ever seen him glare. Really putting his shoulders into it.

"Tea?" The droid offered him a steaming cup, clenched in spindly fingers. You heard the Mandalorian exhale hard as Cara nodded in his stead, holstering her blaster and gingerly accepting the cup. At least one of you could be polite!

The Ugnaught rose from his chair after several tense moments had passed, stating that he needed to feed the blurrgs. The Mandalorian stalked out behind him, the armored man transparently attempting to have a private conversation. "Watch that." He ordered you curtly, gesturing at the droid.

You nodded, gamely turning to stare intently at the machine that was currently standing in a...well, not very menacing fashion. You imagined most individuals, even trained killing robots, wouldn't look particularly threatening while balancing a tray of tea-things. 

"I appear to have upset him." IG-11 commented after a moment of enduring your stare. "This was not my intention."

"Don't beat yourself up about it." Cara remarked with a touch of amusement. "He's got some weird thing about droids."

Your mind flew back to Z, the droid that had cornered you in the bunk. "I kind of understand why." You said quietly. "There was...well, an incident, with the kid and I." Cara raised an eyebrow. "We got...we were, um. We were trapped, in the bunk."

"Oh." The ex-trooper said weakly. "Well. I guess I can...I guess I'll give him that one then. Someone was going after the tyke?" She asked, reaching out a gentle hand to said tyke. The kid babbled happily, their little fingers grasping at Cara's.

"Yeah, it was a droid. One of the compound-eyed ones, too fast for me to stop it." You mumbled. "All I had was my knife."

Cara was quiet for a while, just swinging the baby's arm to and fro. "If you do not require further libations, I shall go and assist Kuiil." The droid announced stiffly, breaking the silence. 

"Wait!" You exclaimed, rushing to stand. "Just, um, wait until they come back, please?" You went on to hastily suggest, "can you, uh, show me where to put the dishes? Maybe we can clean this up while they're busy."

The droid's head rotated on a strange axis, so it took you a second to realize that it was nodding at you. "Of course. It is part of my normal duties to clear the table. It would be wise for me to accomplish this task before attempting a new one."

Inwardly you breathed a sigh of relief, almost positive that you had saved this droid from certain doom. You couldn't help but wonder how the Mandalorian knew this particular IG unit was programmed to kill the child. Perhaps they had crossed paths previously?

…

The Mandalorian's discussion with the Ugnaught Kuiil secured him not only his support, but the help of the droid as well and apparently, several blurrg. 

You were certain this trip would be a logistical nightmare. Good thing you had spent nearly an entire day cleaning out the hold! Even with the room made by stacking things properly, it would no doubt be a snug fit.

Kuiil insisted that you all stay the night either way, the Ugnaught's tone brooking no argument. The Mandalorian had heaved a sigh, but acquiesced. 

The child was already drowsy, the potent combination of a full belly and busy day working overtime to ensure a restful night. Kuiil actually rustled up a small crate for the kid to sleep in, his large hands remarkably careful as he swaddled the yawning child in an old quilt.

You were just settling them into their makeshift bed for the evening when you heard the familiar rattle of beskar. The armored man poked his head into the room after a momentary delay, his voice quiet when he requested your presence in the Crest as soon as possible.

You glanced up at him, a little confused. "Me? But-" You began to protest, indicating downwards at the child.

Cara nudged you towards the doorway, her lips quirked into an odd, almost smug smile. "I can manage tucking in the pollywog for tonight. Go help him out." She urged.

Part Seven

[captain-sodapop]

actually genuinely curious whether destiel antis are this way bc they’re homophobic or can’t get over the toxicity of the ship bc i def understand their latter but no one even,,, addresses it in their hate??

Hi!

I mean, let’s be real: for some of them, it’s definitely homophobia.  Not a valid reason for not liking destiel, and certainly not why I don’t ship it.  However, I do not know of anyone in my immediate circle who dislikes it for that reason.  In fact, I would be shocked if that were the case, considering so many of my friends on here ship sastiel, deanxbenny, jodyxdonna, dreamhunter, etc.  For me - and I think the majority of others (at least, I hope) it has nothing to do with it being an mlm ship.  There are other reasons why I don’t ship them (under the cut because it got pretty long):

1) I just...don’t like it?  Like, it’s that simple.  I’m not into seeing Dean and Cas together romantically.  From what I can tell, most of the general audience falls in this category, too.  I obviously don’t think it’s inherently wrong to ship it, and I try not to generalize.  i follow and have followers who ship destiel, and they’re lovely people!  I’m personally just not into it.  I literally cannot picture a romantic or sexual relationship between these two characters. 

2) There are certainly toxic elements to it, like you mentioned, and I think a lot of people notice this.  Nobody on this show is perfect, but it’s hard for me to look at Dean and Cas - who argue and belittle each other more than Cas or Sam, or Cas and Jack - and be like “oh yeah that’s true love.”  And often it’s Dean and his temper getting in the way of this.  Not to mention that Dean only recently forgave Cas for what happened to his mother, and that “apology” in 15x09 wasn’t really an apology for his previous behavior.  Yes, it was good to see Dean admit to having a horrible temper and let Cas know that he cares about him and forgives him, but it wasn’t truly an apology.  I just think that for as much as I enjoy their friendship, their relationship with each other doesn’t suit romance.  Look at Sam and Cas - I don’t ship sastiel, either, really, but I can see that their relationship is much more relaxed and understanding.  Plus there’s the fact that Dean (and Sam, of course, but he clearly wasn’t 100% on board and regretted it almost instantly) manipulated Jack and was willing to kill him, and Cas...Jack was Cas’s kid first, beloved and wanted, and even if Dean and Cas can be friends again, how do you even move on from that, really?  There are more examples of the more toxic element, but I’m already sorta getting long-winded here.

3) I ship Cas with other people, and so do others, so they just prefer him with someone else.  Totally cool, too.

4) I firmly and enthusiastically agree that people should have whatever headcanons they want and ship just about whatever they want (I also am firmly and enthusiastically against any pedophillic or incestuous ships, just so you know).  You think Dean is bi?  Awesome!  Sam is trans?  Love it!  Angels are on the autism spectrum?  I can totally see it!  Headcanons and shipping can make interacting with a text more personal and fun.  And text can definitely be open to interpretation, so it’s not even necessarily wrong to interpret Dean as bisexual.  But the way I read canon, Dean is straight.  I have never seen him express sexual or romantic interest in another man.  I’ve seen him acknowledge that another man is attractive, sure, but that’s normal.  I can admit that another woman is attractive, but still not want to be with her.  So for me, unless it’s explicitly stated in canon in these last seven episodes, I think it’s canon that Dean is straight and wouldn’t be interested in Cas anyway.  We can agree to disagree - I certainly welcome it! - but I’m someone who adheres pretty strictly to canon, usually.  And that’s how I see the canon.

5) One of the things I think supernatural has done better than a lot of other shows is show that families and friendships come in many forms.  To me, Team Free Will is a unit, and it would feel weird to me if any of them became romantically involved with each other, as if the dynamic had been thrown off-balance.  Same reason I don’t ship any of the boys in The Outsiders together - they’re a band of brothers, not necessarily related by blood, but a found family.  So when Dean says to Cas that he and Sam view Cas as a brother, then a romantic relationship between any of them would just feel...off to me.  

6) Finally, looking at the story and the character arcs and considering the character games, I do not see Dean ending up in a romantic relationship, or even wanting it.  Casual sex?  Yep.  A home?  Yep yep.  A family?  Yes, yes, yes a thousand times.  But a family, like I said above, can look like many things.  I also can’t see Cas ending up in a romantic relationship or wanting one (even though I ship megstiel.)  It’s just not where their stories seem to be headed.  Sam?  Sure.  I think the show is setting up him and Eileen to share some sort of romantic relationship in some capacity (which - woohoo!  At least on my end.)  But even then, that’s up in the air.  Romance is honestly the least of the characters’ - and especially the story’s - worries.  They have many much more pressing matters to attend to that need to be resolved first before any real talk of romance.

7) I feel like I should mention this even though it doesn’t have to do with the ship or the characters directly, but on the whole?  The destiel community is incredibly toxic.  Harassing cast and crew, harassing fans who disagree with them, superiority complexes, fetishization, unwillingness to listen to outside perspectives, believing their read of canon is the be-all end-all, and a dynamic that to me is eerily similar to the old Harry Potter fandom’s Inner Circle (of Cassandra Clare and msscribe fame).  This obviously doesn’t apply to every individual who ships destiel, but in general I don’t find the whole group pleasant to interact with or very welcoming.  It kinda turns you off the ship to know that’s the community you’re dealing with, and if/when destiel doesn’t go canon?  The toxicity will increase tenfold.  Hell, it’ll increase even if it does because their egos will go through the roof.  

I hope that clears some things up for you.  Once again, the fact that it’s an mlm ship IS NOT THE PROBLEM.  If anyone says that’s why they don’t ship it, fuck ‘em.  And there are many individual destiel shippers who are wonderful and I love interacting with, and are very understanding and accepting and non-toxic.  But these are the reasons I don’t ship it, so I’m sorry if I haven’t made that clear in the past.  I think a lot of people share the same reasoning, too, so I’m sorry if they haven’t made that clear either.  I know I sometimes get caught up in the wank and making jokes, and so do others, and our reasons for not shipping it can get lost in that.  I’m not trying to make any personal attacks.

But thank you for asking this, and I hope this cleared some things up for you!

[mustlovemustypages]

Yuletide 2020 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I truly hope all is well with you and yours. No matter what state you find yourself in, my wish is that Yuletide boosts your spirits and gives you the extra jolt we all could use to usher in the new year. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and thank you in advance if you decide to write anything for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Little Women (2019):

Characters: Amy March and Theodore “Laurie” Laurence”

The main reason I adore this adaptation is because it made me see why Amy and Laurie ended up together. They had very similar worldviews and fit so well what the other needed. Both deserved to be with someone that valued them for who they are. With Laurie, Amy was not just financially secure but with someone who encouraged her to express herself creatively, politically, or however she chose. With Amy, while she grounded Laurie in reality and challenged him to be the best version of himself, he didn't have to fundamentally change to make her happy.

Story ideas:

These quotes really show how Amy's perspective on life was different than her sister's: "You are your family's hope." (Aunt March) "I’ve always known I would marry rich." (Amy March) That's a lot of pressure on someone so young. We heard some of Laurie's thoughts, mostly that he didn't think Amy should feel ashamed for wanting that. How would some of that pressure continue even after she got married, and what would Laurie say to make her realize they were in life together as a team and she didn’t have to suffer the weight of the world alone?

The conversation between Amy and Laurie in the painting studio showed just how level-headed and intelligent she was. Laurie, while not wholly agreeing, was respectful and didn't discount her thoughts. It would be interesting to see the impact on their story if Vaughn hadn't arrived, and this had played out more. Would the proposal have happened earlier and/or how would later scenes be altered as a result of further conversation?

What did the other characters think of Amy and Laurie's relationship, and how did it change after seeing them interact more as a couple? It would be interesting to read about Meg, Marmee, John, or some of the other characters realizing they were genuinely a good match for each other.

Post-canon, I'd love to get a glimpse of what kinds of conversations they had. Did Amy encourage Laurie to pursue a career and find what he was passionate about (music perhaps as Laurie mentioned writing an opera)? And similarly, did Laurie encourage Amy to pursue her art? Did they continue to have in-depth conversations about societal pressures and expectations of gender in certain economic classes?

Tenet:

Characters: The Protagonist, Kat, and Neil

Tenet is the first movie I've seen in theaters since Star Wars IX. There have been some mixed reviews, but my love for Christopher Nolan sci-fi films combined with the experience of stepping foot in a theater again made it a wonderful experience for me. Sure, the plot could be confusing at times, but it was fun trying to fit certain puzzle pieces together and oh so thrilling when things just clicked into place in the most satisfying ways.

I adored the dynamic between Neil and the Protagonist. The easy friendship, the banter, the suits... everything. I also loved the relationship between the Protagonist and Kat. It started off as each using the other but transformed into one of genuine care on both sides. Ever the romantic, I definitely saw something more than just friendship between the two and was slightly disappointed the movie didn't explore that aspect more.  

For pairings, I’m interested in friendships between all of the characters. I’d be interested in seeing a romantic relationship between Kat and the Protagonist if you’re up for that, but not between Neil and Kat, nor Neil and the Protagonist. If you really want to give a romantic partner to Neil, I'd be fine with Laura (or an original female character if she’s not the focus of the story), but please, no slash. While I’d be ecstatic to see all three characters together, if you can only find a way to fit in two, that’s wonderful as well!

Story ideas:

Even though Andrei Sator is gone, there are still other players in the game, some like Priya, who want to eliminate Kat or even abduct her with the delusional idea she can continue her husband's work. The Protagonist (and Neil, if you so choose) ensures no harm comes to her, and he realizes that keeping her at a distance may not have been the best idea.

I personally don't buy into the fan theory that Neil is Kat's son Max; however, I do find the idea intriguing and would be up for reading about how that worked. The Protagonist breaks his rule and sees Kat, helping to raise her son Max/Neil and eventually teaching him about inversion.

The Protagonist doesn't have to wait quite as long as he'd thought to see Neil again. It can be the Neil who had already met him and knows about Tenet or the Neil who knows nothing about inversion.

What conversations did Neil and Kat have while the Protagonist was asleep after almost freezing to death? Maybe Neil explained the finer workings of Tenet and inversion more in-depth. Perhaps they discussed the Protagonist. 

Clueless:

Characters: Cher Horowitz and Josh Lucas

This movie set the bar high for teen romantic comedies. How can anyone ever beat 90s Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd? Plus, the relationship between their two characters is fantastic. Josh and Cher just bring out the best in each other. Cher shows Josh that he doesn't need to be so serious all of the time and that people are more than their outer appearances. Josh makes Cher want to be a better person, and he believes that she's not just a pretty face. Their banter and playful moments always make me smile.

Story ideas:

Knowing Josh and Cher end up together, this brings a heightened awareness to rewatches. They have so many casual touches and exchanged glances (when did Paul Rudd's eyes get so blue?) that it's hard to miss their natural chemistry. It may take quite some time for Cher's dad to notice anything has changed because they don't act all that different from before. Is there something that makes him finally take notice? How does he react?

Sort of related to the last prompt, there's a moment where Josh decides to go to the dance to keep an eye on Cher and Christian, and you can tell by Mel Horowitz’s smirk he realizes Josh has a crush on Cher. Does he do anything to push it along or play matchmaker just like his daughter?

I've always been curious about whether or not Josh believes Cher's story about being assaulted in the car by Elton and then held at gunpoint. We skip over Josh pulling up to the phone booth and go straight to Cher already being in the car. How did Josh react when she reiterated the story, and does he instantly believe her, or does it take some convincing? I'd like to see if he comforts her and if they both go together to tell Cher's dad what happened.

Cher is obviously very intelligent socially, if not always so much academically. When it comes time to apply for college, what does she major in? And how is Josh a positive influence in Cher's life, encouraging her to be ambitious and not letting negative comments from guidance counselors or teachers dissuade her?

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Little Women into a supernatural werewolf story or have Tenet take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND at least happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Happy writing and I hope you get the Yuletide gift of your dreams!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)