#if you've been following me for long enough you know that regularly I will fall in love with a character that is very Saint-Exupery-esque

[onaperduamedee]

"It is hard to exist. Man is a knot into which relationships are tied, and my ties serve me hardly at all. What is this in me that has broken down? What is the secret of substitutions? Whence comes it that a gesture, a word, can give rise to endless ripples in a human destiny? Whence comes it that in other circumstances I should be overwhelmed by what seems to me now remote and abstract?”

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Flight to Arras (tr. Lewis Galantière)

For a maybe Moiraine meta, I was looking for a completely different quote from Flight to Arras about the expectation of death in battle when I landed on this one and UH.

Ever since I finished FoH, I regularly get hit by waves of sorrow thinking about how desperate and isolated she grew in the two last books. About how frayed her ties to the people who she may have cared about. About how fruitless her legacy must have seemed (her cramming Rand's mind with a lifetime of knowledge because she knew that was the only thing she could give him now). About how uncertain the utility of her sacrifice was.

As she crossed the doorway and burnt, did she experience regret? Relief? Resentment? Even hope?

It's not even her death that hurts. It's witnessing her actions and words up to that moment, and inferring what must have been her true, unveiled state of mind.

Light, my chest feels hollow.

[grey342]

But daddy I love him

Dbf! Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - An innocent, family friendly barbecue soon turns dirty at the return of your fathers best friend from college..

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, Age gap (reader is 19, Phil is in his early 30s), (VERY) fast paced, thigh riding (kinda), Phil talking you through it, daddy kink and unprotected sex.

authors note - This post is in celebration of 100 followers 🎉 I can’t thank you all enough, so sorry again for my absence. I will hopefully be posting (semi-) regularly again, let me know what you thought of this in the comments and my requests are always open ❤️

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

Oh. My. God

Your jaw almost drops to the floor with how wide you open it. You don't believe it's him when he first walks through the door, it's been so long since you’ve seen him. Too long in fact.

Phil Wenneck. Your dad’s best friend in college, you haven’t seen him since you were thirteen and he moved away to LA. Even back then you had a childish crush on him.

But now that childish crush was replaced by a salacious need. His eyes raked down your body, his tongue poking through his cheek. It seemed your lust for him was very much reciprocated. You walk over to him, slightly popping your chest out, and as you got closer you noticed his signature smirk plastered on his face.

"Well haven't you grown up?" He says, eyes never leaving your chest.

"I could say the same to you." You retaliate, he chuckles.

"See you still have the same attitude." He takes a swig from his beer. You focus on the way his adam apple bobs, your core clenching.

"And you're still a raging ass." He lets out a real laugh after that, it's quickly become your new favourite sound.

"You kiss your daddy with that mouth." He straightens, towering over you.

"Wouldn't you like to know," you smile up at him, "i'm gonna go inside. Maybe get a snack, wanna come with?" His eyes scan over your face, licking his lips as he nods.

You make sure to sway your hips when walking to the kitchen, knowing he would be tracing your every move. He scans your surroundings as you open the fridge door and say:

"What do you want fruit? Chips and di-" He grips your waist and presses his lips against yours. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck and lace your fingers in the hair at the base of his skull.

He groans into your mouth and places his thigh between your legs, you moan at the contact.

"You like that huh?" He says against your lips, sharing breaths. You nod your head, face scrunched in pleasure.

"Yeah I thought so," he slowly starts to guide your hips over his thigh, "you want me to take you right here? Bend you over the counter and pound my cock into you with everybody outside? Huh?"

"Please Phil.." You breath.

He claims your mouth again and lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He takes you into the bathroom places you down on the counter.

"Take off your shirt." He says whilst turning to lock the door. You follow his instructions and strip out of your tank top.

He turns back around and you swear he moans at the sight.

"Look at you baby," he grabs them, "but how about we get this off too hm?" He reaches behind and unclasps your bra, letting it fall to the floor. He groans grabbing your boobs and pinching your nipples.

"Phil, stop teasing," you gasp as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, "please...daddy."

He froze, you instantly panic worried you've scared him off until-

"Say it again." He rasps, eyes consumed with lust.

"Daddy-" He rips your shorts off, along with your panties and his pants. He pumps his dick a few times before rubbing the tip on your clit. You groan at the same time until he pulls back.

"Shit, are there any cond-"

"I'm on the pill, I was tested last week and it came back negative." You cut him off, he smirks back at you and rests his forehead on yours before slowly sliding into you. You gasp, he was big.

"Holy shit.." You moan, as he begins to thrust into you mercilessly.

"Yeah," he groans, "bet you've never had a dick this big before huh?" You rapidly shake your head, moving your hands underneath his shirt and rake your nails down his back.

His hand reaches down to rub and pinch your clit, you squirm underneath him.

"Come on baby give it to me," he rasps, "y'gonna cum for daddy hm.." He trails off getting lost in the way your pussy is clenching, pulling him in deeper.

"Fuck, daddy please." You feel the knot in your lower stomach begin to tighten. You claim his lips with yours once more as his other hand reaches up to pinch your nipple.

You throw your head back, mouth wide open with lewd noises spilling from it. Phil takes the opportunity to kiss and suck on your neck. You're certain there will be hickies left there for you to cherish this moment later.

He pounds into you relentlessly, knowing how close you are. You wouldn't be surprised if you were drawing blood with how deep your digging into his back. Your moans are getting louder and louder. His hand rubs faster on your clit and his head leans down, mouth clasping around your nipple.

"Fuck, Phil!" You cry out, legs shaking as the pleasure ripples through.

"That's it honey, that's it, good girl." He encourages, his hands gently rubbing your thighs. He allows you to come down from your high before picking you up and flipping you over. Your front pressing against the counter.

"Now," he slowly starts to thrust again, "two more."

You look at him through the mirror and give him a dopey smile, knowing you have a long night ahead of you.

[joelmillerisapunk]

WIP Wednesday

Here are 3 long previews of three fics two Joels and one Marcus Acacius bc wtf is even happening

QZ Coffee Hoe Joel

Joel stands in line behind another man in a shady corner of the QZ waiting to trade you his last four ration cards for coffee. He remembers one of the guards he regularly provides drugs to, mentioning a rumor about a secret stash of coffee that you keep hidden away. If he can get his hands on some of that, it'll be worth more than his sanity at this point.

He walks up to you in the shadowed corner and holds out four ration cards - enough for a half bag of coffee and a couple filters to DIY his own home brew. 

You pause eyeing the man up and down, Joel fucking Miller, you've beeing waiting for this day. God he's such a pretty piece of eye candy around this dreary concrete hell. You smirk, and shake your head, when you the ration cards in his hands, “your cards are no good here Miller.” 

He looks surprised you know his name and then looks behind him, “but you just sold him a full bag for ‘em” 

You look over at Carl, your right hand, the man who helped you set up shop, “yah well Carl's been a regular since I started.” You grab your box of overflowing ration cards. “Your cards ain't good to me Joel. Turns out a lot of people miss coffee.”

Gladiator Marcus Acacius

As the evening wanes and guests begin to depart, you slip away from your admirers under the pretense of needing fresh air. Marcus follows at a discreet distance, his military training serving him well in this illicit dance of concealment. He finds you in the peristyle garden,  bathed in moonlight that makes you look like one of Diana's own nymphs—untouchable yet irresistibly tempting.

"You tease me cruelly before our peers," he says quietly as he approaches, keeping his voice low to avoid detection by any lingering guests or servants who might be lurking nearby. "Is it not enough that we risk everything behind closed doors?"

You turn to face him fully, your heart pounding with anticipation and trepidation at the dangerous game you both play so well under Rome's ever-watchful gaze. Your words come out as a soft challenge laced with affectionate sarcasm. "And what would life be without a touch of peril to spice our secret rendezvous?”

Howdy Honey - Ranch Joel Ch. 2

As you prepare to retire to the couch, Joel surprises you by scooping you up into his arms. "What are you doing?" you protest weakly, even as you instinctively wrap an arm around his shoulders for support.

"I'm takin' you to your room," he replies, his tone leaving no room for debate. "You'll be more comfortable in your own bed, and I reckon it's about time you started usin' it again."

Before you can voice any further objections, Joel is ascending the staircase with surprising ease, despite your protests about being too heavy. When he reaches the top, he carries you down the hallway to your bedroom and gently sets you down on the bed.

There," he says, tucking the covers around you with a tenderness that makes your heart ache. "You get some sleep now. I'll be right downstairs if you need anything."

You watch as he turns to leave, a sudden sense of panic welling up inside you at the thought of being alone in the dark. "Joel, wait," you call out, your voice barely above a whisper.

He pauses in the doorway, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the hallway light. "What is it, darlin'?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.

"Would you... could you maybe stay with me for a little while?" you ask, the words tumbling out before you can second-guess yourself. "Just until I fall asleep?”

Npt to all of tumblr: @evolnoomym @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @604to647 @syd-djarin

@penvisions @pascalssbabyy @thundermartini @ovaryacted @sawymredfox

@sixhours @ameerawrites @oonajaeadira @ace-turned-confused @burntheedges

@alltheirdamn @strang3lov3 @magpiepills @mountainsandmayhem @mermaidgirl30

[akiraak4]

Champagne, Cocaïne,Gasoline

A/N: This is my first time posting on this website, but I thought, why not? It is inspired by Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time by Panic! at the Disco. I do not own the character Cú Chulainn, yada, yada, yada, English is not my first language and all. CW: self-destructive behaviour,(slight) addiction, misuse of drugs and alcohol, drunk driving, self-harming behaviour, depression Wordcount: 2500 Underlying Cú Chulainn x Reader PART 1| PART 2

You jolted awake, a haze before your eyes, a siren whaling in your ears. Your throat leaves a groaning sound of pain as your eyes try to focus on something - anything at all if you will. Nothing seems to be in your reach, as you try to grab something as you work your way to stand, but falter and end up on the ground again. Your knees are like pudding and your fingers have no feeling to them. Your brain is pounding in your skull and you shakily exhale - letting the exhaustion get a grip on you again.

But this is not the beginning of this story. This is rather the end of it - if we would have followed a common structure.

And you weren't the one to tell either.

.

.

.

He has unusually taken form as a Berserker. Some factors of his summoning also caused all of his equipment to change and reversed his temperament. His expressions become cold, and the crimson demonic spear that is his Noble Phantasm has been mixed with darkness, overflowing with a foreboding aura.

.

.

.

Cú Chulainn Alter was your servant long enough by now to have a grasp on your behaviour - even though, you rather should have had a sight over his madness. After all, it seems like he is the one who has to have an eye on you most of the time. You have surrounded yourself with some of the most absurd servants, he could have imagined. Mostly because they are so engulfed in their own worlds - and their ideals - that it sickens him to even watch them. You always look a bit exhausted, but even if asked (by one of the few kind souls your summons have answered), you just dismiss the call by ignoring them or just saying that your mana was drained. But this was not the case at all. Your resources of mana were hilariously huge and no one really needed that much energy to sustain themself. 

The mad king was by your side - like most of the time (probably because he was your go-to servant). His crimson eyes follow your every move. You've pulled out your phone and texted someone. The profile picture was the same as the days before and he had concluded, that you have been texting with someone - very regularly and mostly frantic, jabbing texts into your phone like a maniac. But this time, your moves were a lot more controlled as you let your phone fall. He did not bother trying to catch it and watched as the screen broke, diagonally through the middle. 

Your message cannot be delivered. You have been blocked by this number. 

.

.

You were chugging your who-knows-how many shots, in some derelict bar you'd found on the way to who-knows-where. The berserker was still next to you - in a tight-fitting black suit he got a while ago. Most of his more macabre features had vanished - mostly his tail, which would hinder him from following you. But the crimson tattoos were still under his eyes and on his arms, as he rolled up his sleeves. His muscular features got rid of most of the crazy humans that were trying to hit on you in your current state of drunken daze - and those who even dared to walk in your direction went away faster than a flash after he snarled his canines towards them.

You have had enough of being betrayed by the ones you liked, your allies. You felt like a wounded animal, but instead of licking your wound, you turned towards the things, you yearned for most of your life after pain was inflicted onto you - the rush of alcohol, the numbness of everything and the happiness that comes with a little help of a line or two. 

A happy grin was stretched wide over your face as you took another shot, but as you pointed at your empty shot glass, the barkeep just shook his head, denying you your next drink. A snort of annoyance escaped you. You turn on your heel, the world twisting a bit too much as you walk straight to the door - or what you thought of as a straight line - your servant (of course) right behind you, following your every step.

The engine of the sports car roared as you speeded down the street, not really caring about the thought that you could cause an accident or die while driving in this state. The berserker next to you also seems to not give a single fuck about the way you drove the streamlined car. After a short while of driving you found the next best thing - a high-society nightclub, you have visited maybe once or twice in your life. You passed by the line of peasants and right into the club - the bodyguard just watched you puzzled as he was pushed aside by the mad king, who followed you into the club. The club was busted with people, dancing skin-on-skin and some sketchy guy was passing on little sachets in exchange for fat roles of cash.  You walk towards the bartender, pointing out a bottle of absinthe and try your best to negotiate a price, but in the end, you just paid a whole bunch more than you could imagine. Take a sip from the high-percentage alcohol, letting it burn down your throat as you walk to the sketchy guy, offering him a bundle of cash. The man slowly fumbled in his jacket: "Babe, if you go on, you might pass out in a drain pipe", he mumbled, taking the cash in exchange for the little bag, while you just grinned, taking another big sip.

"Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time"

The mad king was very much not amused as you stumbled out of your car, into the bar and basically threw your money at the barkeep as you took the booze. You were high and drunk - and you still wanted more, it seems like this, as you were taking a strange bag from this peasant. He snorts in annoyance. What were you thinking? The absinthe in your hand and the drugs, in the neckline of your dress, are hidden from sight as you walk into a corner of the club, scaring away the people that sat and letting yourself fall onto the couch as your servant took his place next to you. He was very unpleased with your behaviour. But alas, he could not change your mind right now as you start to chug down the burning liquor. You cross your legs, one hanging in the air as your eyes cloud even more, getting dull by the minute as you put down the booze. An exhausted sigh leaves your mouth as he inhales your liquor-stained breath. It was really disgusting. You slowly close your eyes, exhaustion seems to take over your body and he is ready to get you back home. His eyes wander over the crowd, but stop as he hears the sound of you opening the little bag and inhaling it content before taking another big sip. The crimson of his eyes was on you as you stood up, headed toward the dance floor.

You were thrown out of the club again - not really sure why - as you stumbled towards your car, opening the side of the driver, falling halfway in, as you thought you'd throw up into your own lap, but pulled yourself together as you watched Cú Chulainn get into the passenger seat, still smooth and with a stoic, calm face, watching you pull out of the parking lot and onto the empty street. You drove like a mad lad through the streets and stopped at a gas station after you noticed the low of your tank. You grabbed the fuel faucet and started to pump gas, after missing the tank the first time (you really wanted to throw up at the smell of gasoline on your dress, but you didn't). But you got it after some trying - much to the displeasure of the man behind the counter. He yelled at you, something about wasting precious resources but he was silent after you smacked some hundred dollar bills onto the counter and left, the clacking sound of your small heels followed you as you sat back into the car. Your eyes wander towards your servant - or were there two of them? Since when did you have two Cú Chulainns in your front seat? "Ah, fuck it", your voice sounded strange to yourself, a troubled mumble while you start the car - starting off with too much speed, making the car jump forwards before you got to the right speed. Your fingers just loose over the steering wheel, letting it slip from your grip as you drift off the empty road. Luckily for you, you were out of town and Alter pulled the wheel straight, grunting slightly. You're letting fully go off the steering wheel as you push the gas pedal down to the ground. Your servant seems a bit in distress or confused as he steers the wheel to drive. You start laughing - you never thought he would do that (you really believed, he would have let you drive into your death, but to be honest with yourself, you forgot he was her for a while). After some time, your laughter died off and as you arrived in the new city you let go of the gas pedal, bringing the car to an unpleasant halt as it died off, stuttering and in the middle of the road.

Cù Chulainn Alter was kinda exhausted as he was technically forced to drive for you at this high speed until you just - stopped. He was confused as to why you suddenly were so eager to get out of the car but followed you after turning off the car and taking the key (just in case). You've stumbled towards a guy in a chiffon skirt, muttering some words of exchange, he could not hear as he stepped up, being next to you again, as you started to empty a beer bottle. He would have been impressed with the speed you tried to do it, but it took not too long, before you nearly suffocated yourself, as the beverage poured all over your chest as you tried to breathe for a short while. The stranger smiled wide as he handed you a pair of hot pink high heels. You on the other hand were not that happy as you slipped off your original shoes and put on the heels. You were a bit wobbly at first, trying not to fall, as you started laughing with the stranger, leaving the mad king very confused, you turned around and waved your goodbyes, walking away wobbly, trying not to break your ankles while walking. Still laughing, you started twirling. It was probably far past midnight and it was way too cold, even though it was summer, the nights were still freezing. And you only got a dress on. Cú Chulainn sighted, as he changed into his ordinary outfit - seemingly out of nowhere his armour was back in place, the big fur coat hung in bright crimson red over his shoulders and his tail slowly swung from the right to the left. Glancing over at you he clicked his tongue as he threw his coat over you. You stumbled and nearly tipped over from the sudden weight added to your small frame, as you threw the coat off your shoulders. 

A grunt escaped you, captured by surprise as Alter threw his coat over you, leading you to stumble and nearly fall over with the heels. You tossed the coat back to your servant, grunting in annoyance. "Leave me the fuck alone", you hissed. Stomping away, your servant still on your heel. Your mind was misted by the rush of the alcohol and the drugs you took. Gripping harder onto the bottle of beer you still got from the stranger. You've had enough of the play of sympathy and fake affection people try to throw in your direction to lure you in. Only to break you and throw you away, after they got tired of you. "I said fuck off!", you yelled, throwing the bottle at the berserker, who dodged it smoothly. "If I would 'fuck off' you would die", he said - probably the first words he said the whole night. "And if so. I don't fucking care, okay? Just - just let me die then", you hissed, ending in an exhausting sight, turning your back to the servant, starting to move forward again. Tears started to pool in your eyes as you slowly dragged one foot in front of the other. Slightly sniffing as you wipe away the wetness of your eyes. "As if anybody would care", you mumble. Clearly, your up was over and you've hit rock bottom - or it feels like this as you keep walking, ignoring the servant behind you. 

After a while, you found yourself back in another bar, but it was not too long and the barkeeper told you they would soon close. After a short discussion, you've got a bottle of booze to take with you as you left the bar behind you. Again stumbling through the streets of a strange city you didn't know. You were exhausted and really just wanted to lay down, or sit down or something like that...  Another big sip emptied the bottle in your hand. You shook the bottle, disappointed from the sudden loss of your last joy as your eyes started to wander over the place. No one was there. No one. Not even your servant. Strange. He really just went away after all. He probably was tired of taking care of such a useless master, who could not even take proper care of herself and turned to drugs and alcohol to wash away the problems that towered over her. A sad sight escaped your mouth as you turned to walk again, but you stopped.

"Take a seat, master"

The berserker stood next to a shopping cart, the chain that normally holds the carts together was ripped apart. His huge coat laid out in the cart as his crimson eyes wandered over your sad figure. You were not moving, just holding back miserable tears. He stepped into action, picking you up and laying you down into the cart, carefully warping the crimson coat over your shivering figure. Your eyes were matt and dull, exhausted from the small bit of world you've got to see. But that small part of the world was not really kind towards you and it just ate you up and spat you out again. He pitied you, as your eyes moved to hover over his huge frame, which seemingly took over your whole vision. 

"The world is no kind place for such a soul as yours.

 But no worry, master. 

My spear will never fail you."

[munsontm]

“you really don’t have to do that, not for me.” — stevie

What he'd learned about Steve over the last year was that, on the outside, he didn't want people to make a fuss over him. But beneath all that handsome muscle, hair product, playful tongue and atrocious taste in clothing was a man craving a bit of sweetness in his life. He wanted a little taste of domesticity and romance, which had never been a part of Eddie's life. His parents never wanted him, and they made that clear regularly until the authorities eventually took him out of their clutches, handing him over to his uncle. But the damage was done by then. He had a good relationship with Wayne, but it would never be perfect domestic bliss, leaving Eddie to wonder if he might not be able to give Steve what he desired. It didn't stop him from trying, though.

The small apartment above his tattoo studio had been filled with lit pillar candles, and there was a veggie lasagne bubbling away in the oven that would hopefully be edible. He followed the recipe perfectly, yet these things still had a way of going disastrously wrong. Eddie himself was the highlight of his romantic gesture, or at least he hoped so. He answered the door dressed in a pair of black skinnies with a long-sleeved fishnet top beneath a perfectly fitted black crop top. An outfit he knew Steve would appreciate greatly.

"Hey, baby," he said upon closing the door and noting how Steve's eyes roved over him before he realised the candles lining the walls and floor. It was cute how his face slowly lit up at the sight, and Eddie chuckled when told he didn't have to do all of this for him. "Of course I did. You've showered me with enough romance, Steve. It's high time someone gave it back to you." He pecked Steve's cheek and took his hand, leading him into the small kitchen adorned with pale fairy lights. "Not bad, right?" Feeling proud of himself, Eddie gestured about the room while he retrieved a beer from the fridge for his boyfriend, handing it to him once opened.

For a moment, he was concerned that Steve might hate it. That he'd been wrong to take it this far. But before he could finish opening his own bottle, a pair of strong arms wrapped around him from behind, whispering loved up praises in his ear that brought a smile to Eddie's lips. He turned in the firm grasp, greeted by a similar expression. "I just wanted to do something special for you, s'all. I know relationships aren't exactly...I'm not great at them...because....well, you know why." His smile faltered a second at the awful memory of being drunk off his ass, spilling his tragic backstory to a guy he knew was in love with him.

The information was meant to drive Steve away, but it only brought him closer. How could he not fall in love with Steve after that? Steve didn't see a broken person, just someone who needed desperately to be loved but was afraid to let it happen. Things moved slowly between them after that, baby step by baby step, until Eddie eventually felt comfortable calling Steve his boyfriend. "And you're the only guy who stuck around. All the others decided I wasn't worth the trouble. I don't really blame them, though. I wouldn't stick around me either." His lips curved again, black-painted fingertips reaching up to push some hair out of Steve's handsome face that was gently illuminated by the soft lighting around them. "I just wanted a night to thank you." Eddie's tone fell into an intimate whisper with wide doe's eyes fixed on Steve as he spoke words meant only for his ears. "---Thank you for loving me." Not giving up on me. He kissed Steve, putting every ounce of tenderness his body could give, which was a surprising amount for a self-proclaimed cynic.

"Will you still love me if I give you food poisoning?" He asked, a giggle following when their lips parted. Eddie stayed close, within kissing distance, arms wound around Steve's neck. "It looks okay, I think." A slither of anxiety crept into his expression, only to be quickly wiped away almost instantly. "I got a bunch of those marble cupcakes you like so much with the chocolate frosting for dessert---and in case the lasagne is a complete failure. Sound good, big boy?" God, he hoped so. He'd never been so eager to please someone in his entire life. To see Steve smile and just be happy and content. He wanted to give that to him so badly, and he wanted to be the reason for it too. Maybe forever if Steve would let him.

@harringtontm

[softboydrew]

friends and arguments

The ocean front restaurant roared with countless tables of friends and families, waiters and waitresses zooming past tables with large amounts of food and drinks as the night buzzed around you.

Laughter and raised voices erupted through the air as y/n watched her boyfriend top off their friends' wine glasses, forgetting count, y/n took a sip of the red wine that stained her lips. The tartness of it washing down her throat caused her cheeks to flush while Maddie leaned in towards her and clink yet another glass against hers.

"This is the best wine I've ever had!" She squealed.

Y/n shook her head, pointing towards the rest of the wine bottles that littered the white table cloth, "You said that one, and the one before that were the best you've ever had!" y/n laughed causing Maddie to shrug and take another sip.

"Then its settled, they're all my favorite!" she announced to the table, friends looking towards the two of them with amused expressions.

"How many glasses did you have?" Chase questioned, his cheeks flushed from all the chatter and body heat.

"It's my birthday, you can't ask me that!" Maddie hiccuped, causing the table to erupt in chuckles and nodding heads.

Y/n watched as Chase took the last bite of his pasta and motion at your friends that it was time to head back to the hotel and take the drunk stragglers back to their hotel rooms.

Y/n looked around, noticing Rudy and Elaine slumped together, giggling at their forks and she couldn't help but burst out in laughter. It was definitely time to go back to the hotel. It's all fun and games until people wake up hungover and not able to get out of bed, especially on vacation. None of them wanted anyone to miss tomorrows early morning water spot activities.

Drew sighed loudly, wrapping his arms around Chase's shoulders, calling out to everyone that it was indeed time to head back to the hotel so the group could get enough time to recuperate before tomorrow. "Y/n aren't you glad that you landed such a teddy bear?" JD said, shoving Drew playfully.

"I know, I got pretty lucky for my first one, huh?" she wiggled her eyebrows over at the group of boys, they all laughed as she winked at her boyfriend who suddenly froze.

Drew unraveled his arms that sprawled across his friends chest and stood up, his expression showing total shock but y/n didn't notice. Y/n stood up, grabbing her clutch before pushing her chair back towards the table. Her friends sporadically following her lead as she said wrapped her arms around Drew's arm while they said their goodbye's and goodnight's.

The walk from the restaurant to the hotel wasn't a long one, but y/n realized quickly that it would be a very quiet one.

Drew wrapped his arm around her as they walked silently, their shoes scuffling against the pebbled walkway. Y/n giggled, playfully poking at his side making him scowl at her with furrowed eyebrows, y/n's eyes narrowed taken aback by her boyfriends action towards her playfulness.

Maybe he wasn't in in the mood? y/n hummed to push away her hurt feelings and snuggled her head against his chest causing him to stiffen under her touch- her heart dropped at yet another standoffish reaction. "What's wrong?" She questioned lightly.

Drew scoffed out a 'whatever' making her eyebrows furrow as she leaned her head back to glare at him, watching him roll his eyes into the night. "Okay, what the fuck?"

If y/n wasn't pissed then, y/n was definitely pissed now. She crossed her arms as Drew flew his hands up in the air and pointed at her like she knew exactly what he was apparently annoyed about. "Are you seriously asking me that?" he chuckled darkly. "Like really?"

"Obviously! God forbid I can't read your mind!" she watched him storm way from her, y/n's shorter legs hurried after him with clenched fists. "Drew!"

He couldn't help but let out an annoyed laugh, shaking his head before rubbing his palm against his cheeks. Sure, he was annoyed at her, but the added alcohol in his system didn't help his emotions and he couldn't think twice about how he reacted.

"What?!" He felt her hand clutch onto his shirt and he groaned, his legs slowing down because he knew he regularly walked too fast for her. "Think! Think about why I might be annoyed y/n, seriously?" he shouted with his arms flying up from his sides. He watched y/n put her hands on her hips in frustration as she looked at him with confusion.

"You do this every single time, why can't you just be an adult and tell me what you're so pissed off about?!"

"No I don't! Why am I always the bad guy and what? I can't be mad at you?" He yelled, his legs bringing him closer to y/n as she shooed him off with her hand, she rolled her eyes and huffed out as she looked towards the beach in the distance, wishing to be anywhere but here, fighting with her boyfriend on vacation.

"You're aloud to be mad at me! But its not fair when you won't tell me why! I mean what could have possibly happened in that restaurant to make you so-” y/n stopped mid sentence as she snapped her head towards him, his eyes wide as he caught on to why she paused.

He nodded, "yeah, yeah" he scoffed as he took off his hat and ran his hand over his newly buzzed haircut. "Now you know."

Y/n covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes tight, she never meant to not tell him, but she kept putting it off because she didn't want to scare him off early on in their relationship. He never asked. Eight months passed by and she never told him, now she wanted to find the right time and every time she thought that it would be the time, it would slip her mind. She cursed loudly causing Drew to bite the inside of his cheek, watching her shoulders fall. "I'm sorry... I never meant to not tell you-"

"Then why didn't you?"

"You're older than me and I thought it would have been awkward, or you wouldn't be as interested in me if I told you. We were new and you were so.. so you, and I was nervous and I didn't want you to think differently about me. Obviously, I- I don't know what I was thinking 'cause I know you'd never think that way or make me feel any type of way." y/n gushed.

Her eyes swelling with tears as she finally explained to her boyfriend that he was her first beau. "I'm sorry. I seriously didn't mean to keep it from you I- I promise I'd never keep anything from you intentionally... especially something important for our relationship."

Drew sucked in his breath as the salty air blew around the couple, his eyes glossing over as he watched y/n quietly break down right before him. Drew quickly stepped towards her, his arms hugging her body close into his, her body shaking against his as she cried silently. "You don't have to be sorry I- I shouldn't have been so angry." he cooed. "I just wish you told me."

"I know" y/n croaked out as she sniffled, her big eyes scanning up to his face. Drew sighed, his hands gripping her puffy cheeks to wipe her tears away. "And I feel stupid."

'Shhh" he hushed, "you're not stupid y/n." he chuckled lightly causing her to blush beneath his soft hands.

She smiled lightly, rolling onto her tip toes as she felt him lean down and sprawl his lips against hers. They simultaneously moaned into the kiss as Drew deepened the kiss, licking her bottom lip to ask for entrance. Y/n happily obliged and smiled causing their teeth to clash- his tongue finding hers, feeling like the first time they'd ever greeted one another.

Drew's hands slid down her shoulders to grip her sides and squeeze her curves causing y/n's head to fall sideways while he sponged his lips against her now burning skin. The taste of lingering wine made them both hum lowly before he brought his hand behind her back and yank her against his chest, laughter pooling around them as he rested his forehead against her forehead.

"I think this calls for a truce?"

Drew bit back a laugh and nodded, interwinding their fingers before pulling her towards the pathway back to the hotel. "You know, I'm nervous that I'm your first boyfriend." he said bringing y/n to snort out- squeezing his hand as they began walking, "Let's make me your only."

-

taglist: @pogueslandia @carolineworld

[buttercream-squad-imagines]

Little Red Dress

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Callux x sister!Reader Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: Swearing, some violence, maybe a few spelling mistakes Request: Idk if this is a request but like a secret relationship with Harry that you hide and you like calluxs sister or something like that and when he finds out he gets really mad or something

How you had gotten here you didn't know. It was a question you had continually asked yourself for the last five or so months. You hadn't long moved to London, where your older brother Callum lived. You had wanted to be closer to him, not that you were far anyway but you were very closer to your brother.

There were quite a few years between you and the older boy, you being born when the latter was 7 years old. Now at the ages of 22 and 29, the two could not be more inseparable. Despite having different fathers - both of whom hadn't stuck around long enough for the pair to remember them - you and Cal were like peas in a pod. With no father figure for you to look up to, you naturally clung to the boy growing up, and Cal being the only male in the house, quickly took on the protector figure for both you and your mum.

As awful as you felt leaving your mum back at home, you had been missing your brother desperately since he had moved to London so long ago, having spent the latter majority of your school years without him. Now after graduating from university, you finally felt free enough to move to the city with your brother and make your own way in life.

That was nearing a year ago, which led you to now. The situation that you were currently in, sneaking around with one of your brother's best friends.

You had met Harry before you could even have been introduced by Cal in one of the most cliche ways ever. Being the clumsy git he is, he had bumped into you in the hallway of your new apartment building and had spilled the contents of the box you were carrying all over the hardwood floor. Awkwardly the man had tried to pick up the contents in a hurry, spitting out apologies to you and once again dropping things from his arms in an attempt to put them back into the box. It was something you had found very endearing and is a quality of his that you adore.

In an attempt to apologise for both spilling the box full of stuff and then dropping the contents whilst trying to pick them back up, Harry had offered to help you bring up the rest of your boxes. It was there that you both ran into your brother, who was visibly confused as to how his cumbersome best friend was talking to his baby sister like they had known each other for years.

Cal would never actually admit it to you but witnessing that interacting had a large pit forming at the bottom of his stomach. He knew how Harry could be and knew from the look in his eye that he had quickly found an attraction in you.

Any spark found in Harry's eyes quickly distinguished when he learned of your relation to Cal, knowing how protective the older boy could be of his baby sister, but nothing could stop the fluttering feeling the boy got when he was around you. Not even Cal's warnings against dating his sister. Warnings that his other friends got, to his relief, all of which assured Cal that his sister was out of bounds. Pleased with the responses, Cal never had a second thought, something you were glad for.

Something you weren't glad for however, was the feeling of uneasiness you got whenever you were with Harry. You almost felt guilty for being with him, even more so for keeping it from your brother.

Your boyfriend of five months, however, was quick to chase away that feeling with his affection. You got to see another side to the boy that many of the people in his life never got to witness. It gave you a feeling of euphoria knowing that you were the object of Harry's affections, and affectionate he was.

When the two of you got to spend time at your apartment, the boy could not remove himself from you. Whether he was lying in bed editing a video, cuddled into your side, or sprawled out on the settee with his head nestled in your lap, he always had to have some body part touching you. His hand always found yours when he was particularly anxious, something that happened quite regularly, which was one of the traits you found most endearing. It warmed your heart to know that you were able to calm him down.

Something you did a lot was steal Harry's clothing. There was just something about those jumpers, especially the sidemen merch, that was just so comfortable. Even after insisting on getting you some sidemen clothing of your own, so he could continue to make use of his own wardrobe, you still wore his. You had told him very shyly that you liked wearing his clothes because they smelled like him, and it brought you comfort when he was away visiting his own family.

Harry thought he might have broken down then and there. Not that he would say it out loud, he secretly loved it when you wore his clothes but knowing that you would wear them when you missed him? He felt like he was on cloud nine.

Which is how you found yourself right now, snuggled on your sofa, drowning in Harry's jumper and a fleece blanket, watching the TV. Harry had been away visiting his family over the new year, and wasn't due back until the following day but you missed him dearly. Your phone had been forgotten in your bedroom, your only distraction was reruns of Grey's Anatomy, a show you had already watched religiously.

You hadn't realised how much time had passed as you easily lost track of time when you got into a show. You also hadn't realised that your brother had been trying to get hold of your for over an hour. Which is why you were startled when you heard the click of the lock turning.

"Y/N?" The sound of your brother's voice filled the small apartment. "Are you in here?"

"On the sofa." You called back with a yawn. He could easily hear the drowsiness in your voice, he would put his money on you falling asleep within the next hour.

"You didn't answer my calls or texts, I was worried." He scolded gently.

"I left it in my room to charge, sorry for worrying you." You stretched causing the blanket that covered you to drop to your lap.

"Whose? Whose jumper is that?" Cal inquired, suspicion laced in his tone.

"Oh, is it not yours?" You asked, trying to cover up the fact that his best friend's jumper adorned your body and was currently the reason that you were about to be outed.

"No. You know that's not my jumper Y/N. It's too small to be mine." You winced at the hardness in his voice.

"I must've picked it up thinking it was yours. Oops." You tried to play it off coolly, and your brother seemed to be coming around to the idea that it was just a misunderstanding. Thank God, you screamed internally.

"Right." He sprawled himself out next to you and let out a groan when he noticed what you were watching. "Really? Grey's Anatomy? You know I've experienced enough hospitals in my life without having to watch this garbage."

"How dare you?" You gasped playfully, whacking the older man on the arm. "I'm not turning it off, so either accept it or leave."

"Fine."

A week later, Cal was visiting Freezy and Harry's apartment to hang out with the boys. You were meant to be coming soon though as you and Cal were going out for lunch. Cal was sprawled on the sofa and Harry was on another, whilst Freezy was in the bathroom. Cal's suspicions once again peaked as he noticed Harry wearing the jumper you were wearing just a week ago.

"I'm sure that's the jumper Y/N was wearing last week." He muttered loud enough for the younger boy to hear.

"Is it? She must've picked it up by accident and thought it was yours." Harry spoke coolly although his stomach felt like it was doing backflips.

"Hmm. That's what she said." He grumbled. The two fell back into a comfortable silence scrolling through their phones, waiting for Freezy to arrive back from the bathroom.

"Harry, I'm sure you've got some secret girlfriend you're hiding from us or something." The loud voice of Freezy echoed through the apartment.

"What?" The boy in question stumbled over his words. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, if I had to guess, I wouldn't put you down as the type of person who used Sunkissed raspberry shampoo and conditioner." He cackled.

"So, what if I did?" Harry's heart was racing, trying to play the situation off. Even if the boys found out he was seeing someone, they still wouldn't know who. That's what he was trying to tell himself anyway.

"Right, so you're telling me this dress from the washing basket is yours too?"

Harry's face dropped as Freezy held up the little red dress that you had thrown in the washing basket after a night out. A night out with your brother and his friends.

"What the fuck Harry?!" Cal seethed, gripping him by the collar of his jumper and shoving him into the wall. "My fucking sister!"

"Oh." Was the only thing that come out of Freezy's mouth once he had realised the severity of the situation. Your brother on the other hand was seeing red. What they hadn't heard was you entering the flat, having heard the shouting from the hallway. Cal raised his fist, bringing it to meet the side of Harry's face, who hadn't said a word yet.

"What the hell Cal?!" You exclaimed, marching over and pushing him away from your boyfriend.

"When were you going to tell me?" He asked you through gritted teeth.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You honestly had no idea what was happening right now, but if you had to make a guess, you'd put your money on Cal having found out about your relationship. You could count on one hand how many times you had seen your brother as angry as this. Not ever had it been directed at you though.

"Stop lying Y/N!" He roared making you cower into Harry behind you and let out a small whimper. "Come on, we're leaving."

"No!" Your brother grabbed the top of your arm and began pulling you away. You tried to shrug his hand from your arm, but he held on tightly. "I'm not leaving."

"Fine." He spat, storming out of the apartment.

"Hey." Harry whispered softly, touching your arm gently.

"I'll just leave you two." Freezy muttered awkwardly, leaving to go to his room. Harry pulled you into his chest and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised had fallen.

"It's okay." He assured you. "It'll be okay."

[eirikaanemo]

Can You Keep A Secret?

Warnings: imprisonment, mentions of starvation and sickness

Note: I haven't actually played Dvalin's quest but I tried to keep it as close to canon as possible. Feel free to leave a comment or message me if you see something wrong.

Venti x GN!Reader

1.9k Words

Your soulmate is secretly Barbatos... now what?

Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone is born knowing your soulmate's biggest secret. For most people it’s really unhelpful, but for some people it helps them find their soulmate. You’re in the latter group, because yours gives you a name.

You've known your whole life that your soulmate is secretly Barbatos. It's… interesting, to say the least. Of course you'd never dare to tell anyone. Thankfully, asking someone what their soulmate’s secret is isn’t very common. It’s considered to be very rude, so no one asks you what your secret is. They'd think you're crazy!

Barbatos hasn't been around for centuries and you're a mortal. This is the sort of thing you would read about in trashy romance novels! But even though it’s crazy and kind of overwhelming, you know it's true. You don't know if he'd ever accept you or want to be with you, in fact, you’re pretty sure he won’t, but you want to try.

Once that’s settled, you just have to find him. If he's anywhere, it's probably the city of Mondstadt. That’s where he seems to have shown up the most in the past, after all. So you move to Mondstadt. It’s a nice place and the people are friendly. Finding a job with the Knights of Favonius was fairly easy and it paid pretty well.

Unfortunately, the 'Storm-terror' problem starts shortly after you move. He throws the whole city into chaos the first time, and then proceeds to keep doing it regularly. The fear is all encompassing, but that's fine, you try to convince yourself. It will all be worth it when you find him. ‘If you find him’, your traitorous mind whispers.

It's been months, a year even, and you're starting to lose hope. How were you expecting to find Barbatos anyway? Shout from the rooftops for him to reveal himself and whisk you away? He hasn't been around for a long time and you knew that. And to be honest, at this point you've given up.

Going home is the logical thing to do, it’s where your family is after all. But you stay because you made yourself a home here. You have friends: Jean, Lisa, and Kaeya. You have come to love the city: music, freedom, and camaraderie. Well, you love the city except for the 'Storm-terror' attacks. Those aren't very lovable.

What concerns you the most though is that 'Storm-terror' is a dragon. And dragons trend to be important (like, archon important). But no one seems to remember this one. So you research. You visit the cathedral and speak with some nuns. You dedicate some time to listening to bard’s tales, asking them if they know any songs about dragons. One does, and it's surprisingly informational. You spend time at the library, pouring through book after book. And after all this investigation, you've come to the conclusion that 'Storm-terror' is actually Dvalin of the Four Winds. Not that anyone actually believes you

It didn't stop you from telling people your theory though, and being more respectful in how you refer to him, despite all the damage he's caused. Eventually they do start considering it and the city starts catching on. If you keep doing this, you may be able to change the city's perspective of and reaction to Dvalin.

The abyss mage catches on to this, and he just can't let that happen. It could compromise the whole plan. So one day he has Dvalin abduct you and locks you up. And true to your luck, this happens out of the blue while you’re taking a walk that you’d finally convinced Jean to go on with you. Which, of course, reverses all your progress and makes the situation even worse than it was before. Incidentally, this also does the exact opposite of what you’d been trying to do by stressing out poor Jean more.

The abyss mage doesn’t care about anything other than making sure you’re not able to go back to Mondstadt. The mage does not care about human necessities. Who cares if you die? Not him. He hates humans. It's kind of part of his job description.

Your prison is where Dvalin retreats to when not attacking. And the mage has to go report to someone else sometimes, giving you opportunities to speak with Dvalin. He never responds to you, but you can tell he eventually starts listening. You start by rambling about various subjects; then talking about how you know he's Dvalin, and that you're sorry he was being treated like he was, once you know he is listening. Because while you don’t know the whole situation, you know that he feels hurt by how humans have treated him.

After several days of talking to him, he slowly starts warming up to you. It’s a strange sort of bond that grows stronger as time goes on. He starts responding and the two of you actually have conversations instead of just you talking. Eventually you even mention how you know your soulmate is actually Barbatos and that you've kind of given up finding him.

He gives a thoughtful hum, lets you vent out your feelings, tries to think of an appropriate response, then allows you to drop the subject once you’ve worn yourself out emotionally. It’s becoming obvious that your health, physical, mental, and emotional, is degrading faster as time goes on.

One day Dvalin and the mage both disappear for longer than usual. After the mage makes sure you won’t be able to escape, of course. It’s not like you would’ve been able to leave anyway. At that point you’re not able to do much at all.

Little did you know that only Dvalin would be returning. They ended up facing the traveler and their companions in battle, and Dvalin was freed from the mage’s influence. The first thing Dvalin does is take them to help "the one decent human, that he actually cares about". You're in bad shape at this point, starving, sick, and weak. But you’re aware enough to hear Jean call your name and feel someone gather you in their arms before blacking out.

When you wake up you're at the cathedral and are feeling much better. Certainly you are not fully recovered, that will take weeks. That one bard who was able to play you a song about Dvalin is always there. You vaguely remember him being there when you were found. He doesn’t really interact with you much, he’s just kind of there, but he does play peaceful music that helps you fall asleep when you’re struggling to rest.

Then the day comes for you to go home. They’ve done all they can for you and you’re past the worst of it. But you’re well enough to be out and about. “Now you take care of yourself,” Barbara lectures you. “Don’t push yourself, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, and eat three square meals a day, got it?”

“Got it,” you confirm. “Thank you for taking care of me, I really appreciate your help.” She smiles, wishes you well, and returns to the cathedral. You take a moment to breathe and just appreciate being back home, free of your prison and the small cathedral room they’d kept you in while treating you.

Taking a deep breathe you start on your way home. “Hey!” You hear someone exclaim behind you. “Could you hold on a second?” Turning around, you see the bard quickly excusing himself from a street performance before running to catch up to you. Once he’s caught up, he gives you a smile.

“Hi! I’m Venti the bard! Would you be willing to speak with me about something? It’s kind of private so we would need to go to windrise or something, but you’ll want to hear this, I promise.” He says. “Alright,” you agree, “but I can’t make it all the way to windrise. Would my home do? I live alone so we’ll have privacy.” He nods, “that’ll work great!”

The walk home is quiet but comfortable. The bard’s content to hum a tune as he follows you through the streets. Soon you’re home, unlocking the door to let you and your guest in. You lead him over to the couch where you both sit down. “So,” you say, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, I was talking with Dvalin a day or so after we freed both of you and he said you mentioned you came to Mondstadt searching for your soulmate. And that you said your soulmate’s biggest secret, the one that you know, is that they’re Barbatos,” he explains. You feel a pang of betrayal at Dvalin’s actions and some guilt for sharing your soulmate’s secret in the first place.

It probably showed on your face because he quickly spoke up again. “He didn’t just tell me for no reason though. You see, I am Barbatos. I’m your soulmate.” Your head, which had been drooping with the weight of your emotions suddenly shot up as you fumbled for a response.

Apparently that showed too because he continued, “And I’m sorry I made it so hard for you to find me. I’m sorry I almost made you give up on me. Most of my waking time is spent incognito so I can watch over everyone while not being put in a position of authority. I didn’t anticipate meeting you ”

There’s a moment or two of silence as you gather your thoughts. “It’s okay,” you assure him. “I understand why you did what you did and I’ll never hold it against you. How were you supposed to know I was even born yet, not to mention that I’ve been in the area searching for you.”

You take another moment or two to gather your wits. “I will also understand if you don’t want to do anything about this,” you state. “I don’t want you to feel forced into having a relationship with me if you don’t want to. The last thing I’d want to do is be responsible for making you miserable. And that’s not to mention how you’re an archon and I’m just a mortal.”

Your talking speeds up as you start rambling, losing control of the conversation as you feel more and more nervous. Once you realize you’re rambling you shut your mouth with a click. “Sorry about that,” you mutter. “I do that sometimes when I’m nervous.”

When you chance a glance at him, he honestly looks a little offended but mostly just really sad. “Is- is that really what you think I think about this?” He asks softly. “Because it’s not. I absolutely want this. I absolutely want you. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for millenia and I wouldn’t give this up for the world.”

He reaches over and slowly, hesitantly, so as to give you time to escape if you want, gathers you into his arms. You realize that he’s the one who picked you up to bring you home. Your ear rests against his chest as lean against him, and his heart skips a beat as you gently grab one of his hands and kiss it. “I’m glad,” you breathe. “I’m glad too,” he voices softly.

You yawn, feeling the exhaustion from your journey home and the rest of the day hit you. He pulls you close and whispers in your ear, “Sleep well, my cecilia, I’ll be here when the sun comes up and when you wake up.” You fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

[kittydcoxx]

Stay with Me.

KAEYA X READER.

Warnings: light angst/heartbreak but nothing bad (happy ending)

The tavern was as crowded as usual, and by that meaning almost completely baren for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. As you order a apple cider from Charles, the tavern door bell rings and you instinctively turn to check.

"Ah~ it is pouring out, I need a drink to combat the dissapointment of getting my fur cape wet."

Kaeya. Of course he wasnt the last person you'd expect to see open the tavern doors, he just wasnt much of a "afternoon delight" type drinker. Still, you stare as he tries to cooly swipe off the wet rain from his uniform as he walks towards the counter and takes a seat next to you.

"Well, well! Good afternoon y/n! What a suprise to see a beauty such as yourself here at this hour."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks as he turns to look straight ahead and run his fingers through his hair, not allowing time for you to respond before he has a drink in his hand.

"Afternoon Captain,"

You face him and smirk with the same intensity of flirty-ness as he just had.

"Of course you would be surprised to see me at this hour, you usually drink yourself to sleep before i order a evening drink."

You chuckle and look straight ahead and take a swig of your beverage, the confidence of your little witty come back replays as the cider burns your throat.

"Oh ho, well thats quite the attitude! I must ask, whats the purpose of this?"

"Hmm?"

"The occasion? I've never seen you drink three days in a row, I've been sober enough to pay attention to that."

The truth is, the last few days you've been at a bit of a crossroads. You know you and the Cavalry Captain share feelings, but you have a job offer in Natlan. This job is a dream to you, ever since you were a child. You could never dream of passing this opportunity, but you question if this possible romance could be the first significant one. You've been meaning to bring it up to him, but recently you just havent seen enough of him to bring up the subject. As a result, you turned to the more than occassional drink at the tavern to brighten your mood from the decision that faces you.

"Well then if you're interested, it actually... might concern you."

Your face is flushed red due to nerves, of course it doesnt directly concern him since nothing astronomical has occured in order to absolutely weigh your decision based on a man, but you didnt want to leave without warning.

"I see, well, we haven't..." His cheeks grow the slightest bit red as his eyes skip to look around then back at you.

"we haven't progressed to that yet, have we? I mean, you're not pregnant are you?"

"What?!" You're taken aback by the direct-ness of his statement, about the fact that he thought it could even have been a possibility. Was it confirming your suspicions of him returning feelings? "No, i- its not that! That is out of the question completely!" You yelp as you shake your hands as a frantic meaning of saying "Absolutely no way".

"Of course! of course.. i just figured i'd ask in case, but i guess drinking for a few days regularly isnt particularly healthy for a baby."

You roll your eyes and take another swig. Oh boy.

"It's actually more of an advice thing, i suppose."

"Ah~ well! lets discuss then, hm!" He happily takes a sip of his wine, his face surprisingly relieved.

"So? What do you need the great Master Kaeya's guidance on?" He smiles and giggles slightly.

"Actually, I'd like to take this outside."

"But its raining cats and-"

"Outside. please."

Your tone picks up more aggresively and he gets the memo. He takes one more sip of his beverage and you do the same with yours. You pay Charles and meet Kaeya right at the door.

"Get ready for the rain, sweetheart"

Your heart jumps as he grabs your wrist and swings open the door, pulling you with him down the street, stopping at a small archway behind a building, big enough to comfortably converse without being cramped or drenched.

"Now, where were we?"

"right.. well.." You look down and fidget with your thumbs, only to look back up at him and see him gazing into your eyes, examining your soul and what felt like your heart. Did he already know? It sure felt like it.

"I have a big decision to make, but i want to ask you before i come to a concrete decision."

He nods as a sign to continue talking, acknkowledging his position in helping you decide.

"I might have to move away. To natlan more specifically. I've recieved a dream~ job offer that i simply cant refuse, unless i was faced with new circumstances here in Mondstadt."

"Hm, And how do i play a role in this?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans back against the stone wall.

You explain to him his part, and he lets you talk until you are completely finished. you tell him your feelings, your worries, your doubts, and your hopes. Every single one that included him in the package. He looks at you sternly the whole time, but he looks hurt at the same time and you wonder why.

"Well, i honestly dont know what to say to this y/n. You know i cant leave Mondstadt if we were to persue eachother."

"I know."

"Then why bother telling me? Why not just leave, hm? Before damage could be done? before you told me all this, confirmed my hopes in our relationship but crushed it with the fact that you 'might' leave? You should have just spared me and left!"

He looks emotional and teary eyed, much more that you're used to seeing from a man who held such a cool composure 24/7. Have you hurt him that much? Does he hate you?

"I can always stay if you wan-"

"No. Its your dream job, and you shouldnt pass it off. I just cant promise that i'll wait for you."

He steps closer to you, inches from your face. His breath is warm and it contrasts with the cold rainy air. He slowly takes your hand and hold it in his, then lands a soft passionate kiss onto your lips. A few seconds of the kiss pass and he breaks for air and looks at you, making strong magnetic eye contact with you.

"Y/n, I can't wait for you."

"You dont have to. I can stay."

He runs his hands up your arms and grips firmly onto your shoulders and kisses you again, and when he pulls back he lets out a heavy sigh.

"There's no staying, just be safe. Please."

Your throat swells like a rock is stuck and your eyes burn hot along with your ears. You cant muster any words, you just stand there maintaining a sorrow eye contact for a few seconds.

As you both stare in silence, he slowly lets go of you, and as soon as his hands depart from yours, he turns and walks out and into the road. The further he walks and fades from your vision, the further you slide down the wall until your behind hits the wet floor as you curl up to your knees. Hard, Hot tears stream steadily down your cheeks as you hide your head in your knees, sobbing hard yet silently. Your heart aches and your stomach churns.

You want to run and look for him, grab him by the waist and embrace him in a hug from behind as you cry against his back, but he has already erased you from his plethora of memories as he sulks in his room with a drink. The night is weary and so are you. You walk home, replaying the scene in your mind over and over, and the instant you step into your home, you fall to your knees and sob once more.

You dont even close the door behind you. You cant do anything but cry, you had no idea you felt so strongly for Kaeya, but you had to put it all behind you.

He probably had.

What feels like an hour or two goes by and you barely made it to the couch, where you lay sprawled out, half on the couch and half not as you stare into empty space, thinking of nothing but everything at once. Why did his mood snap so quickly? Why did he cut you off? Was it self defense? What could he gain by pushing you away? You had no clue, but you didn't want to dwell on it and start crying again, so you just lay there trying to fall asleep.

Suddenly, a warm, slender hand grazes your back and rubs up and down softly.

"I'm sorry."

You jolt a little, but you dont get up immediately.

"How long have you been like this? Its almost night again y/n. Have you gotten up at all!? Your door was wide open, I was worried."

No response from you as you try to analyze the voice. It sounds like Kaeya, but you had remind yourself that he wanted nothing to do with you.

The man sighs and walks away. A hallucination for sure, you thought. The male comes back and lifts you by the shoulders. He sits on the couch and then lays your head onto his lap.

You look up and are met with blue eyes, one scarred and one as normal as you're used to seeing on him, though both glossy as if about to cry.

"Kaeya?"

"Mhm. Sit up Darling, you need to drink water."

You obey and sit close beside him, sipping the water he hands you with both hands on the glass like a child. He puts his arm around you and his hand on your head and gives you a soft yet quite long kiss on the head as you finish your water.

"Im sorry. We can work something out. I know that i shouldn't.. I can't push you away."

You dont fight his embrace as it gets firmer, and his body trembles slightly as if he is crying.

"Do you want me to stay?" you ask sheepishly.

"My dear, its up to you what you want. I'll follow you in whatever you decide. Im choosing to persue you, the rest is yours to seal."

"I want to stay." you state calmly.

"As you wish." He eyes your empty glass of water and gets up to pour you some more. When he comes back you sit against him again, and drink the glass empty, then put the glass on the coffee table and lay your head on his lap.  

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm.."

He chuckles and holds you as you fall asleep, giving you tender kisses all over your face. When you fall asleep, he carries you bridal style upstairs to your room and tucks you into your bed. For a moment he stands there and ponders leaving you to rest, but the guilt of the words he said yesterday and seeing your state today convinced him to stay at your side. He walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gives you one more peck before falling asleep.

You wake up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when you come back to your room you're awake enough to process the fact that Kaeya was indeed in your bed. You crawl up into where you were in the bed before but this time facing him. You run your fingers along his face, feeling every bone and inch of his smooth skin, his tan beauty enhanced by the glow of the moonlight that peeked in through the window across the room from the bed. Your run your fingers down his hair and admire how his hair falls down his body. You've only been this close to him once, but never had you touched him like this. Your face was red and your smile was definitely pronounced, and as you stroke his cheek his eyes slowly open to see your expression.

"Good morning y/n~" he smiles and wraps his arms around you softly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Actually, its midnight."

"Oh, i see. Well, lets fall back asleep shall we? Or are you wide awake?"

You don't respond immediately but instead wrap your arms around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Back to sleep.."

He chuckles and brings you closer to his body, rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you both are hazy and about to fall asleep.

"I love you..." you whisper, half aware of what you just said and half not.

He pauses for a second, then gently squeezes your body as if to be his response back.

"I love you too.." he whispers back, his words echo in your mind as you drift to sleep, your dreams filled with nothing but happiness and him. 

You would stay in Mondstadt, but occasionally take trips to Natlan for a few weeks, and would try to take Kaeya with you if he wasn't too busy. The two of you became inseperable, and quite the item for some time, the story of your romance left most who heard it in tears.

After every time you tell the story, he grips your hand and grabs your face softly making you look into his eye.

"I'm glad you stayed."

He says as he pulls you in for a tender kiss, which is usually embarrassing in public but you dont mind in this case, because it was of genuine emotion and not of his flirtatious teasing.

You really do love him.

NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my first fanfic LMAO

[shysneeze]

phases of falling in love (ginny weasley x fem!reader)

Description: the painful process of reader falling for her Ginny Weasley, her best friend.

Warnings: angst af, I can’t think of anything else specific but please let me know if you come across anything and I’ll add it

Authors note: in love by khai dreams and she by dodie fit this in my head and are worth a listen.( edit, : i have a playlist here that fits this entire fic) . 

 ...

(Y/N) has decided that falling in love comes in three distinct phases: realisation, denial, and acceptance, though with various forms of panic in between.

No one’s ever boasted that falling in love is easy, the bitter angst of doing so the subject of too many pieces of literature to be doubted. Yet, no one’s ever told her it would be this hard, but she supposes the stakes were always going to be higher when it’s your best friend.

Realisation came first during a party, sat in a small group by the fireplace as the cheers and laughter so typical of a Gryffindor victory party raged on around them. They weren't much different from the others, talking loudly and laughing with their heads thrown back dramatically. They were discussing the game, (Y/N) thinks, though she can hardly remember now, nor was she particularly invested at the time. 

How could she be with her just across the from her, fair freckled skin aglow from the fire, who's light danced across her face with each flame’s flicker. Her hair tumbled down her shoulders effortlessly, as if it was pulled straight from the ponytail she wore during the afternoon's match.

That was the night she looked at Ginny  Weasley and felt something in her heart, longing perhaps, that went beyond mere friendship, the first night Ginny's smile made her chest tighten and her eyes finding hers with a wink made her gulp. 

It was the first time she looked at Ginny and saw her best friend but longed for more. 

Denial was easy after that, the whole thing flippantly dismissed as a fluke of the evening, blamed on the giddy feeling that accompanied the house’s victory that Ginny played such a vital part in securing. It was nothing more appreciation, awe.

Weeks later though, and the tugging in her chest still lingers, holding her hostage and controlling her every move.

It flares up unexpectedly, from a smile at lunch, a wave during matches or a laugh hidden behind textbooks during classes. There is an endless array of quirks and habits that (Y/N) has never once before paid attention to that now leave her stomach victim to butterflies and her heart to palpitations.

Yet the denial continues, excuses ranging from the outlandish to the self-deprecating. Perhaps an insensitive prank, a love potion slipped regularly into her morning orange juice, or maybe it’s just all in her head, a crush manifested from loneliness, from the desire to be loved by someone.

Excuses are easy to provide, yet even easier to disprove and it soon becomes clear that every attempt to deny her own feelings is fruitless. Acceptance looms over her, unmindful of the heart it’s about to break.

Acceptance comes reluctantly during an evening’s study in the library. There’s no blame to place on atmosphere this time, hidden together at the end of an aisle of shelves, sat across from one another at a desk most certainly made for one.

The characteristic smell of old books lingers in the air and speckles of dust are illuminated by a dim lamp as they float aimlessly around them. The light does nothing to highlight the red in Ginny’s hair the way the flames of the fire had during the party, or to draw the warm brown from her eyes,  yet (Y/N) is enamoured. 

(Y/N)'s quill hangs limply between her fingers, ink drying on the tip with a word half-finished on her parchment. Across from her, Ginny bites her lower lip in concentration, deep brown eyes scanning each word she writes, occasionally lifting her hands to fix the loose bun holding her fiery red hair from her face, ridding her eyes of the messy stray strands with a frustrated rush of air from her pink lips. 

(Y/N) gulps and panics slightly that in the quiet of the library, her best friend might hear the hammering of her heart in her chest. They're so close that their knees touch under the desk and (Y/N) is left unsure on whether to move her legs or not from fear of only drawing attention to it. 

She's trying to convince herself to act normal, that this is all normal, a scenario they've been in so many times before with procrastinated essays and last minute deadlines, that she has no reason to act any different, yet her heart races, and she can hear it in her own ears.

It’s terrifying.

She's mid inner quarrel when Ginny lets out a loud sigh of surrender and lets her quill clatter against the desk. (Y/N) blinks out of her daze, dropping her own quill in surprise and frowning at the red head. 

"Snape is asking for one of the twin's puking pastilles in his tea." She grumbles.

"They'd give you them for free if you tell them it's for Snape." (Y/N) manages a laugh. "How much more have you got to do?" 

Ginny peers at her own parchment, then at (Y/N)'s with a questioning frown, reaching over to snatch it into her hands. She examines it with arched brows and stifles a small laugh at whatever she's read. 

"Better than you- You've neglected to finish the word 'assignment', (Y/N)." She snorts softly. "It just says 'ass'." 

(Y/N) stands abruptly to grab it back from her amused friend with a quiet 'oi' and a flustered wide-eyed expression that only adds to Ginny's laughter until she's clasping her hand atop her lips to muffle the sound. 

"I got d-distracted." She explains embarrassedly. "It's just the first draft." 

"Oh no, I think you should hand it in as is." She grins. "I want to see Snape's face." 

"I'm not getting detention just so you can get a laugh." She argues. 

"Aw, come on." Ginny pouts. "Not even for me?" 

A part of her, a shameful part, almost instantly concedes to the offer, despite its teasing nature, just for Ginny's puppy dog eyes, which (Y/N) has until now been immune to. She falters for only a second before fixing her friend with a frown. 

"No, not even for you." She decides firmly. "Lets hear yours then, Gin." 

Ginny dramatically clears her throat with a grin, something that eerily reminds (Y/N) of her elder brothers, and begins to read aloud before (Y/N) stops her with an eye roll, cautious of the pacing click of Madam Pince's heels as she roams the aisles for the opportunity to evict noisy teens. 

"You'll be surprised to hear I finished all my words and never once spoke about my arse." 

"Sod off." (Y/N) rolls her eyes again. 

"Well, what’s got you so distracted you felt the need to conclude that you 'learned lots about counter curses from this ass'?" 

"You memorized it all ready?" 

"Of course." She beams cheekily. "How else am I to tell the rest of our friends?" 

"You are the worst." 

"You love me really though." 

(Y/N) worries when she can't laugh that off, when she falters for only a second, but enough to remind herself of this new and scary situation. She forces on a smile and hope she's been quick and convincing enough to seem normal, though something in Ginny's eyes tells her otherwise. 

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" 

"Fine." 

"Hmm, you look nervous." Ginny hints. "What are you hiding? Is it a girl?" 

(Y/N) is exposed instantly by the involuntary widening of her eyes and Ginny grins menacingly at her from across the tiny desk. She leans over, palms flat against the desk and head so close to (Y/N)'s that their foreheads almost touch. 

(Y/N) forgets to breathe. 

"Who is it?" 

"No one." (Y/N) manages, edging back as subtly as possible. "It's not anyone." 

"Aw, c'mon." Ginny rolls her eyes. "Tell me." 

"You're going to make Madam Pince kick us out again." 

Ginny tuts, rolling her eyes and returning to her seat, allowing (Y/N) to drop her shoulders in relief. She sighs as she picks her quill up again, soaking the tip in ink with a rejuvenated intent to write, motivated by the chance to change the topic of conversation. 

"You're no fun." Ginny mumbles. "I'll find out." 

“There isn’t anything to find out.” (Y/N) exhales, not daring to look up from her parchment, knowing once again her expression will betray her. “Or anyone.”

“Oh, but there is.”

(Y/N) doesn’t need to look up to know the red-head is grinning, it’s evident in her voice. All she can do in response is take a deep, calming breath and continue with her work.

It’s not long before she can feel Ginny’s eyes on the top of her head and she freezes again, not sure when this became a talent of hers, to tell just from some new sixth sense that Ginny Weasley is staring at her.

“Can I help you?”

“Is it Willow Kings?”

“Been there, done that.” (Y/N) mumbles with a sigh. “She’s nice but talks about her owl too much.”

“Hmm.” Ginny hums in contemplation. “You’re not crushing on Pansy again, are you?”

In every single way, (Y/N) wishes that was her current shameful crush, rather than the girl currently interrogating her. When (Y/N) denies it, Ginny begins to hum again in thought.

“Luna?”

“Luna’s just a friend.” (Y/N) sighs, distinctly trying to convince herself the same thing about Ginny at this exact moment. “I’m not telling you, Gin.”

“Ugh, why not?” Ginny grumbles loudly.

The red-head’s face pales when the methodical clicking of the Librarian’s heels halts, wincing at what is soon to follow. The sound begins again, quicker and sharper as it approaches the pair.

“Shit.” Ginny curses, already gathering her work into her arms. “Here we go.”

“You two.”

The girls turn sheepishly to the other end of the aisle, where Madam Pince stares them down, one hand on her hip, other extended outwards to point at them with a disapproving look.

“We’re just leaving.” Ginny assures.

Ginny stands, reaching out innocently for (Y/N)’s hand and clasping it in her own to drag her to her feet as she splutters out protests, flustered instantly by the action. Ginny only gives her enough time to gather her things before pulling her towards the exit.

“S-low down, Ginny.” She pleads. “Sorry, Madam- “

The librarian scowls at them with an icy look as they squeeze past her towards the exist, Ginny’s laughter barely concealed as they go. (Y/N) can barely focus on anything other than the hand in her own.

Once in the corridor, convinced of their own escape from the strict librarian, Ginny flings he rhead back in a laugh, bun bouncing on her head at the action, cheeks flushed from the excitement of it.

“Every time!” She exclaims. “We get chased out every time.”

“I-“

(Y/N) is too stunned to form a sentence, stunned not by their actions, one’s regularly performed to avoid Madam Pince’s wrath, but rather how suddenly loud her heart is in her own ears.

She could blame adrenalin, it would be so easy to do so, but she knows it’s not. It’s many things, but not adrenalin. Instead Ginny’s laughter, her free and proud laughter so cheerful on her ears, it’s the baby hairs framing her face, endearingly messy, and it’s most certainly the hand still clasped in her own, warm and soft.

Acceptance, that final phase. No amount of excuses in the world could hide it now, that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is undoubtedly, and most terrifyingly, in love with her best friend.

In this moment, watching Ginny’s grin, that infectious smile that has (Y/N) own lips pulling into a smile of her own, she’s about ready to risk it all for her, to tug her closer and ask, even beg, to kiss her.

“Ginny- “She starts

“Harry!”

Like that, the spell is broken and Ginny’s hand is slipping from (Y/N)’s and her feet carrying her towards the red faced boy-who-lived at the other end of the corridor, flinging herself eagerly into conversation with him and leaving (Y/N)’s smile to drop.

The tugging feeling in (Y/N)’s chest returns, and she finds herself back in reality. Ginny likes Harry, she always has, it’s been the topic of so many late-night teasing, how could (Y/N) possibly forget. It hurts though, in a way it never has before, a painful stab of reality sent straight to her heart.

(Y/N) has just learned for herself that falling in love is never easy, even if her heartbreak isn’t one likely to be documented as a great tragic romance in future. No one told her it would be this hard, but as she watches Ginny grinning up at the boy across the hall, her heart twists with the reluctant acceptance that, not only is she in love, but that her best friend is in  love with someone else. 

[wilder-minded]

Slow Fire Burn Chapter 1

It's the implication that there is something going on between Gale and Madge. When Katniss goes off to the Hunger Games, who else does Gale turn to but the Mayor's daughter? Gadge, slight AU/mostly canon from Madge's perspective.

Madge Undersee x Gale Hawthorne AU.

This is a story I've been working through for years, one I just cannot let go of. I've also been posting it on my AO3 profile. https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilderminded

Over much of my life, I had gotten good at making myself numb to most things. I was numb to my absent mother's neglect; she was too ill with her own demons to do much of anything let alone raise me. My father did the best that he could but being the mayor of District 12 came with its own demanding schedule. I was numb to the alienation that I felt from my classmates. As the mayor's daughter, I very clearly did not fit in with the Seam kids, who did without even the most basic survival necessities. I wasn't too welcome with the Merchant kids either though. While they had more luxuries, they didn't have access to the wealth that my family did and most of them didn't trust me. I learned to keep quiet to protect myself from the taunting of my classmates, and I did not care much for the silly topics that other girls my age were enthralled with.

I guess that's why we were such kindred spirits, Katniss and me. We both had places we would much rather be, and we didn't feel the need to make meaningless small talk. The silence between us was comforting enough most days. My father liked her too, seeing as how he overlooked her activities and bought strawberries from her regularly.

When she took her sister's place at the Reaping, I could barely handle the sickening knot in my stomach and the guilt I felt. I knew I had to do something for the girl who was my only real friend in the district. I gave her the pin that belonged to my aunt, a tribute in the 50th Hunger Games. I had hoped that she would wear it as her token during the Games, but at the least her family could sell it for money to feed themselves.

As I watched the Capitolites parade her and the baker's boy around in the opening festivities to the Games, I tried to make myself as numb as I could to the very real possibility that she would not come back. My father was required to attend dinners in honor of the annual tradition and while I usually went with him, it felt especially wrong this time. So I sit alone in the living room of our large house for the required viewings.

As I sit quietly picking at the loose thread on the arm of my sweater with my hands slightly shaking, I think back to the day of the Reaping. How she had brought strawberries to us with her friend, Gale. He had lashed out at me over the injustice of the Reaping, how my name was only in 5 times. The social status of my family prevented me from having to take out tesserae like he and Katniss. His name was in 42 times. I tried to not take this jab personally, I could not control any of our circumstances.

Gale stood behind me in line to see Katniss after the Reaping, while everyone was waiting to say their goodbyes. I could feel the heat of his glare against my back, and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

It's not fair. None of this is fair.

I let out a sharp, frustrated breath as I jump to my feet. I do not want to sit here and watch whatever fanfare they are projecting on the screen in front of me. I pull on my shoes, wrapping my sweater tighter around my body as I slip out of my backdoor. I follow dark alleyways through town, to avoid Peacekeepers, until I reach the edge of the woods. I follow a well-worn path by memory until I reach a small clearing. I am not brave enough to venture deeper into the woods like others that I know, but this quiet space dimly lit by the setting sun gives me the solace I am looking for.

With the setting sun goes the busy noises of birds and the wind through the trees. I sit on a large rock toward the edge of the meadow, my arms wrapped around my small waist as I watch the way the grass flows with the gentle breeze.

I barely get a moment to relax before I hear brances crunching behind me. I freeze in fear, all of the possibilities running through my head. I whip my head around after a beat, my eyes searching the dusky tree line behind me as the noise gets closer. I take in a sharp gasp when I see a figure approaching closer, my heart racing until I recognize the face that emerges just a few feet from where I sit. Gale.

"Are you following me now?" I ask, watching him as he walks closer.

"I was just wondering what the hell the Mayor's daughter is doing in the woods, at night no less," he says calmly, placing his hands in his jacket pockets as he shrugs. His steel grey eyes trained on me in a way that I couldn't quite interpret.

I scowl at the connotations of 'the Mayor's daughter'. "Why aren't you at home watching the Opening?"

He sits down beside me and shrugs again, his eyes fixed toward the sunset through the trees. "Same reason as you, I suppose. Doesn't feel right to watch all of this happen and pretend that it isn't my best friend being groomed and parades around for a bloodbath."

I don't say anything for a moment, studying his tensed jaw and furrowed brow. "It's not fair," I say finally, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What do you know about fair?" he snaps, finally turning to look at me. I huff out a breath and meet his steely glare with just as much anger reflected back in my own sky-blue eyes.

"Stop giving me shit for things I have no control over, Hawthorne. You don't know anything about me," my voice in a bitter clip as I snap back.

He shakes his head, his lips in a hard line as he looks away again. "I know you've never known what it's like to go hungry. You've never held the responsibility of other people's lives..." he starts to rant and then trails off.

I let the heaviness hang between us for a long moment. "Neither of us can help the situations we were born into," I state quietly, and he nods. Though even without a word, I can still nearly taste the bitterness in the air.

We are both silent for a while before he speaks up again, this time his voice much softer as his head hangs down. "What if she doesn't come back? She's my best friend."

"I don't know, Gale," I say helplessly as he runs his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

I steal a moment to admire the boy beside me. In the settling darkness, I can just make out the line of his sharp features and I feel an old familiar, out-of-place feeling stir in me and I instantly feel a little guilty. I used to watch him at school, and as the years went on he grew more and more handsome. I found myself more attracted to the dark-haired men of the Seam than the blonde Merchant boys I should be attracted to. Which could only spell trouble for the daughter of a District mayor. Anyone could see that he was in love with Katniss, but that didn't stop most of the girls in school from having crushes on him.

"Why are you staring at me?" He finally speaks up without so much as a glance in my direction. Hunter's instincts, I think.

"Just trying to figure you out. You're hard to read, Hawthorne," I tell him, blushing when I see him smile a little.

"Good. Who says I want to be figured out, Undersee?" he counters, finally looking back over at me. I smirk and shrug, looking up at the stars that have become visible thanks to the sun's disappearance. He follows my gaze, "I never take a moment to look up at the night sky."

"The stars are so beautiful... Makes it hard to believe that life under them can be so ugly," I reply quietly, folding my hands in my lap as I look back down toward the ground. "I wish I could just escape it all. Run away from the Reapings, away from being the Mayor's daughter, away from everything."

He's silent for a moment before he speaks up again. "This will never end unless people stand up to the Capitol."

His words chill me to the bone and goosebumps cover my arms. No one says things like this in District Twelve, at least not this freely. Certainly never to someone like me. Any stirring of a rebellious spirit is shut down without so much as a second thought. "That will never happen. It can't," I say, trying to make myself believe it. It's the fear of the unknown that makes me want to refuse this as a possibility. Too many people would die.

We don't say anything for a few minutes, the air between us is uncomfortable. His words don't sit well with me. If the wrong person would hear this, it would be over for him, his entire family... I can't begin to imagine, I don't want to. After a while, I stand up, pulling my sweater around my body again. "I should be getting back before someone notices that I'm gone..." I know that no one is at home to notice my absence. No one lucid, that is. I start walking toward the tree line where the path begins when I hear his footsteps behind me. "I don't need an escort," I say defiantly, huffing out a frustrated breath.

"I'm not stupid enough to let a girl like you walk in the forest alone at night," he tells me, his long strides catching him up with me in seconds. I know that he has more knowledge about the dangers of the forests than I do, but the stubborn girl in me doesn't like the idea that I can't take care of myself. I try to speed up my steps, but his much longer legs have no trouble keeping up with me. Suddenly, in my haste I stumble and just as I'm about to fall face first into the dirt below me, a hand around my arm breaks my fall.

I stumble back into him a little as I steady myself, brushing back the waves of blonde hair that fell into my face. He chuckles, his hands out to make sure that I don't fall again. "Careful there."

I try to ignore the way my arm tingles where his hand just was and I huff out a shaky breath, starting off again. "I'm fine... but thank you," I say, glancing over my shoulder back at him. I can nearly feel his smile as I walk ahead of him and we don't say anything else until we reach town. I expected him to veer off toward the Seam as we reached the edge of town, but I felt his presence behind me as I retraced my steps through the alleyways.

As I climbed the steps to my house, I looked back at him and gave him a small, grateful smile. "You didn't have to walk me home," I brushed off, my voice soft.

He shrugged, his hands in his pocket as he looked up at me. "I know, but I wanted to anyway. Goodnight, Undersee," he nodded as I reached for the door, a small grin playing on the corners of his lips before he turned away and started back down the alley. I stood there for a moment, watching him walk away before I stepped into the warm glow of my house.

[gingerhaole]

Hey-o! Long time follower here. I know you live on O'ahu and I'm going to visit my cousin there for a week. Since you've lived there for a while, in your opinion what's something that I absolutely must do/see/eat while I'm there? I love nature and exploring outside, but I'm open to everything. I want to make the most of my time. Thanks!

Oh, that’s so exciting!! A week is a good time to visit, I think you can get a lot done in a week. Well let me think... If you love the outdoors, there is a LOT to do here! I haven’t done every hike, but I have some favorites. (And AllTrails.com is a GREAT resource, and incredibly thorough.)

Get ready, folks, this is gonna be IN DEPTH! Here’s a guide of Stuff To Do that I made for visiting family;

Near Ewa Beach (where we live):

Ko Olina lagoons: Our favorite beach is here. There are four manmade lagoons that look out over the west, so sunset is especially beautiful. All the major resorts outside of downtown are here, so there’s a very nice little plaza with some restaurants, ice cream, etc. But the beach is the best. You can see some tropical fish, and the waves are always mild.

Ewa Beach rail tour: The historic Railroad Society does a 90-minute tour on Saturday and Sunday afternoons and what remains of the cross-island track. It starts in Ewa and goes all the way down the Waianae coast, which is stunningly beautiful. The track passes through Ko Olina, and on Sundays they stop at the plaza so you can get some ice cream.

On the North Shore:

Dole Plantation: The original pineapple plantation is now a kind of museum. There’s a big main house with gift shop and a cafe (where you can get the famous Dole Whip ice cream, not to be missed). There’s also the world’s largest corn maze, a small botanical garden, and a train ride through the fields and garden.

Hale'iwa Town: The whole town is pretty charming; rainbow storefronts, great local restaurants, art galleries, lots of shrimp trucks, and a very pretty beach where you can regularly find giant sea turtles sleeping on the sand. Hale’iwa is the only “major” town along the road that runs the northern shore. You can stop almost anywhere and see amazing beaches. But mind the surf traffic!

Waimea Bay: The Beach Boys sang about this place! It’s arguably the most spectacular beach on Oahu, surrounded by lush mountains on three sides. We’ve seen turtles, seals, dolphins, even a whale in the distance. There’s a famous jumping rock, and you can find rough surf or lapping waves, depending on which end you go. And it’s convenient because it’s right across the road from…

Waimea Valley Audubon: A nicely paved 1.5 mile walk through a beautiful botanical garden, full of fruit trees, orchids, indigenous plants and flowers, and a nene preserve — that’s the endangered Hawaiian duck. The payoff is a waterfall and a natural freshwater pool that you can swim in! They even have changing rooms and a shave ice shack.

In Manoa:

Lyon Arboretum and Manoa Falls: This is up in the mountains, in the tropical rainforest. One trail leads you to Manoa Falls, but it’s a pretty rough hike. It can be muddy and slippery, and there’s a little bit of climbing over roots and boulders. The other trail is Lyon Arboretum, which I love, and there’s a second waterfall at the top of the trail, but I can’t recall how long the walk is. Mostly it’s a very even path, but some of the trails get steepish, so good walking shoes would be required. But it’s also great the just explore the lower gardens.

Pu’u Ualaka’a Lookout: The highest road accessible by the general public is here, on Round Top Drive. The lookout is a small park, but a million-dollar view, all the way from Diamond Head to Waianae, with Pearl Harbor smack in the middle.

In Kaneohe/Windward shore:

Pali Lookout: A park at the top of the Pali Valley, which is a breathtaking expanse, even bigger than the Pu’u Lookout view. This place is full of history. It’s the site of the the Battle of Nu'uanu, where Kamehameha’s warriors forced 400 of Oahu’s defenders off the cliff and to their deaths. It’s a beautiful, eerie, powerful place to be, full of ghosts.

Valley of the Temples: One of my favorite places is the Byodo-in Temple, a replica of a Buddhist temple in Japan. It’s situated at the foot of the Ko’olau Mountains, and features the largest Buddha statue in Hawaii. It’s a beautiful place, very peaceful, with lots of koi and swans and a lovely garden.

Ho’omaluhia Botanical Garden: One of the most beautiful places on the island, if you’re asking me. 400 acres of gardens, a lovely duck-filled lake, and the most breathtaking 360-degree mountain view. NOT to be missed.

Kualoa Beach: Driving to the temple usually takes us on the LONG drive around the windward coast. There are a few very small towns, and the beaches are beautiful. Kualoa is a huge beach park, almost always deserted. The water is calm and shallow, and right off shore is the tiny Chinaman’s Hat island. In back of the park is a mountain range that you may recognize from Jurassic Park! Driving this way takes between two and three hours, and eventually connects to the North Shore. It’s a great way to see this part of the island, and you can stop anywhere along the way for swimming or a bite to eat. Great shrimp trucks, too!

In Honolulu:

Bishop Museum: Our natural and indigenous history museum. It’s pretty incredible, with etymology and ornithology collections, a portrait gallery, a planetarium, three floors of Pacific island history, and a volcano-centric science building!

‘Iolani Palace: The palace of the former Hawaiian monarchy, which offers guided tours. I was really moved when I visited. It’s amazing to see the throne room or the royal jewels, but even more amazing to see the small room where Queen Liliuokalani was held under house arrest, and sewed a commemorative quilt that’s on display.

In Waikiki:

Ala Moana mall: It’s apparently the world’s largest open-air mall. I’m not like a fan of malls, but this place is beautiful to see and wander around. And the FOOD! There’s a whole lower section called Shirokiya Japan Village Walk, which is like a grid of little restaurants and bakeries where you can find any Asian food you’re craving (and the world’s best chocolate cream puffs, too). On Fridays at 8:15 pm, the harbor just across the street sets off a little fireworks show.

Waikiki Beach: A pretty unbeatable place to people watch, have a swim, or lay out in the sun (with a mai tai or a beer, maybe). You can see the historic pink Royal Hawaiian Hotel, the statue of famous surfer Duke Kahanamoku, or sneak into the lobby of the Halekulani and use their fancy Japanese toilets!

King’s Village: A couple blocks of shops and restaurants that looks straight out of Disneyland. I love to just look at everything. On Thursdays and Sundays at 6:30 pm, they perform a tribute to the King’s Guard — on Thursdays it’s fire knife dancing and Polynesian drumming, and on Sundays it’s hula dancing and ukulele. Pretty cool!

Honolulu Zoo: It’s a small zoo, but it’s still pretty awesome! Features a brand new gigantic elephant paddock, a new reptile section, and a very nice keiki petting zoo. Sometimes they give all the animals special snacks -- the elephants get giant popcorn balls!

Honolulu Aquarium: Again, it’s not a huge aquarium, but it’s beautifully laid out, and full of native fishes and monk seals. The zoo and aquarium are both right at the end of Waikiki Beach, so it’s easy enough to do one of these and see more of Waikiki in a day.

Diamond Head: The famous (and famously exhausting) trail to the top of the Diamond Head crater takes about an hour and involves the Hundred Stairs and squeezing yourself through a bunker, but at the top you get a 360 degree view, and it is pretty hard to argue the rewards.

In Hawaii Kai:

Hanauma Bay: This a smallish bay in a state park that’s filled with a coral reef, and chock full of tropical fish — sea turtles, eels, puffers, giant parrotfish, everything. You can even see the state fish, the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a! It’s really like swimming in an aquarium, and if you’ve never been snorkeling, this is a great place to learn because it’s fairly shallow and the waves are usually really mild. It’s closed on Tuesdays (that’s when they paint the fish).

Halona Blowhole: Just up the road from Hanauma Bay is a cliff that goes down to tide pools and the Blowhole. Like Old Reliable, only you get a geyser every time the waves come up through the rock.

Makapu’u Lighthouse trail: This one is a paved 3.2 mile walk, but it gets steep and it’s in direct sun. However, the view at the top is pretty spectacular, and I’ve never gone up and not seen whales below. You can, though, just walk to the first benchmark, which is maybe a quarter mile, and get a pretty fantastic view. This is just about on the opposite side of the island from our house, so we usually stay a while in Hawaii Kai and have dinner at our favorite Greek restaurant, and finish it up with some famous Bubbie’s ice cream and a sunset at the Koko Head Marina.

Bear in mind, this is NOT the most comprehensive list of activities, it’s just what I personally like. I hope it helps!

[elareine]

Are you still taking #sappyprompts? If so, could I get JayDick with "It's always been you"? PS I really love all the fics you've written for these so far. I'm mainly only a JayDick shipper, but your writing had me read some of your JayyTiim fics, so that's a big accomplishment! 😂

Hi :) Thanks for your prompt - I’m sorry it took me so long to get to it! And that’s a high compliment indeed ;) I have a tendency to multi-shipping, but I know not everyone is that way, and I appreciate people following anyway.Since you mentioned in your lovely comment on the other fic that you liked it, have some more early relationship JayDick: 

Dick woke up feeling like he was still falling. 

It was always like that—no matter what he dreamed about, who, the only way to escape was through freefall. His chest ached like he’d been trying to breathe in a cloud of wood shavings. 

It took him way too long to find his bearings, remember where he’d fallen asleep. 

Oh. He was at Jason’s. 

No wonder he hadn’t recognized his surroundings at first. For the longest time, theirs hadn’t been the kind of relationship where your partner regularly slept over. In fact, they had fucked in pretty much every place Dick could think of that wasn’t a bed before they’d pulled their heads out of their asses and admitted that maybe this was something more. 

Even with that, they had been careful. History wasn’t so easily forgotten. Neither was the present, for that matter.

But last night, Dick had whispered, “Stay,” Jason had replied, “Sure,” and now he was rubbing gentle circles on Dick’s back. 

“I’m sorry,” Dick gasped. 

“Nah, don’t be.” Jason’s hand didn’t stop. 

“No, I—“ 

It was just—Dick had hoped they would have some time before Jason figured out what a fucking mess he was. What a failure, crying at night because he just wasn’t good enough. He just wanted a little more time with the man he was growing to love before he inevitably fucked it up again. 

He didn’t know how to say any of that, so he didn’t. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

Jason shrugged. “You didn’t. I wasn’t asleep.” 

“Why not?” Dick, guiltily, was glad to shift the focus away from him. 

Instead of replying, however, Jason moved his hand to Dick’s shoulder, gently pressing until he was lying down, back in Jason’s arms. “What did you dream about?” 

Okay, Dick thought, that’s fair. He couldn’t expect Jason to be open up to him when he wasn’t willing to be vulnerable in turn. He could not bring himself to go into the exact images, though. Not now. 

“All the people I couldn’t save. All the people I will…” fail. That helpless bitterness was rising in his throat again. 

Jason was silent for a long time, and when he made his own confession, it wasn’t what Dick expected. “You saved me.” 

“No. I didn’t.” The dream had been another stark reminder. 

There was a gentle hit to his shoulder, though Jason made up for it by pulling him closer right after. “How ‘bout you let me be the judge of that? We talk a lot of Batman representing fear and justice.” While Jason’s voice took on a slightly sardonic note at that last word, it changed back to earnest right away. “But Nightwing? He stands for hope. That’s what he’s giving us.” 

They both let that sink in. Then Jason added, almost shyly: “Dick Grayson, too.” 

It was too much. Dick hid his face in Jason’s neck, overwhelmed, and just tried to breathe. The hands on his back were starting up their slow touches again, but Jason didn’t stop talking: “I remember… you. As Robin, as a kid, and as an adult, with the Titans. That feeling I got then… it never went away.”

A kiss to Dick’s hair. 

“It’s always been you for me.” 

“Thank you,” Dick whispered, “Thank you.” 

He didn’t know if he would be able to fall asleep again tonight. At a guess, neither would Jason. But even with all that—even if Jason was not willing to compromise on his campaign; even if Dick was still tempted to run far away the next morning to avoid failing—it felt like they had built a fragile trust of their own that night. 

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 5: IT CAN'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger Taylor (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swear words here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine.

Chapter 5: Basically Row's and Piper's first day on their own, narrative shifting from normal to Row's inner train of thought.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Throughout his life, Row would regularly look back with infinite fondness and amusement at the first day he spent on his own with his daughter.

But today, as both him and his week old infant cried in each other's ears, he didn't think either of them would make it through another 24 hours, let alone long enough to look back and laugh at it.

He thought he wouldn't get to the end of the parenting book he was with at the moment with his sanity intact.

He had read many books that contradicted each other. And this one was no exception.

Some said to follow a feeding schedule.

Others to do so whenever she'd demanded it.

Some said that bathing was bad for the umbilical cord.

Some others recommend to rub it with alcohol to help it fall early.

And others said not to touch it. To simply leave it alone.

Then there was Callie and her usual phrase echoing on his head "The best thing is to follow your instincts".

But that didn't help a damn either cause his instinct was messed up.

He had also read somewhere that sharing bed was good at the beginning. That it helped preventing SIDS.

Then on the next book, that sharing room was fine at first, but that bed was a risk factor in SIDS.

But hold on.

What the hell was SIDS?

They mentioned it everywhere. He went through all the pages until he found it, only to be left breathless when finding out what what it stood for:

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Whose exact cause was still unknown , and although there were some preventive stuff to do -on which, by the way, all the bloody books differed- there was nothing 100% safe.

So, they meant his little Piper could just fucking die for no goddamn reason, and he wouldn't be able to do nothing about it? What the fuck! It wasn't fair!

So he found himself on the phone, dialing the number he always recurred to in times of trouble.

"I think I broke her, mom" he said as soon as he heard her pick up.

"You can't break a person, Row"

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

"Don't be overdramatic. You didn't expect it to be easy, did ya? Or you thought she was gonna be like a doll, huh? Like those that have a switch for when you get tired of playing house?"

"No but I didn't think... I mean she was much quieter in the hospital."

"Well, darling, she must have sensed the move or something."

"You mean she doesn't like my place?"

"No, you silly. Although there's room for improvement in the style... But that's not the point. She just needs time to get used to it. Also I bet she can sense your unease."

"Uh?"

"Babies have this sixth sense when it comes to the emotions of those around them. Specially mother's... Or well, in this case, you. So if she senses you're frustrated, she'll get more distressed."

"Oh." was all he could say.

"Where is she now?"

"She's right..." He looked down at the bundle he had been holding and rocking only to realize it was a bunch of dirty clothes.

Where was she? Had he lost his daughter after 5 hours? Fuck! Fucking idiot

For a moment, he forgot where he had put her and a million terrifying thoughts flashed on his head.

She wasn't crying at the moment.

And that was good.

Right?

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was the worst thing.

Maybe one of the pillows on the sofa had fallen over her and suffocated her.

Or maybe he had mistaken her for a dirty bundle of clothes and put her in the laundry and...

"Rowan?"

"She's asleep on the bed." He suddenly remembered, peering at his bedroom to check he was right. He was. She was asleep, right in the middle of the mattress, exactly where he had placed her 10 minutes earlier.

"Then take this chance and sleep. You're good at sleeping."

It was definitely a good idea. So he hung up and tiptoed to the bedroom. He reached the bed and froze, trying to think of a way of climbing in without startling her awake.

Maybe the matress sinking at his weight woke her up. And if he got past that, perhaps if he dared to move or rolled in his sleep, he'd wake her up... Or worst; he had heard about the hundreds of kids that died overnight suffocated by their parents.

No. He decided he couldn't sleep with her.

So he got the bunch of dirty clothes and laid on the floor besides the bed, using the bundle as a pillow. He fell right off to sleep.

He woke up four hours later, and the room was still silent.

Shouldn't she need something? Shouldn't she have woken me up?

Once again, a feeling of fear invaded him as he jumped to his feet, and put a small mirror in front of her nose to make sure she was still breathing.

She was.

He sighed with relief and pecked her forehead before tiptoeing out.

He decided to make a sandwich or something, cause his stomach was roaring. Halfway through eating it, he ran his eyes through the parenting book he had left opened on the counter:

<<If your baby sleeps 4 straight hours or more wake them up for a feed; otherwise they could become dihydrated...>>

Fuck. She had been dozing for 4 hours and 20 minutes.

So he hurried into the bedroom, and leaned over the tiny bundle, a smile escaping his lips. She did know how to sleep after all. And she looked like an angel. So peaceful. Calm. It almost hurt him to disturb her. But he had to.

"Hey lil'raisin. C'mon, it's snack time" he said, gently lifting her up. "Hey, lovie. Wake up" he knew one thing he shouldn't do under any circumstances: shake her. Or make harsh movements. As that would lead to Major Danger #2:

Shaken Baby Syndrome. And that was under his control.

So he blew on her cheek instead and got her to open her eyes "Hey, Sleeping Gorgeous" he greeted, holding her up so they were face to face.

She looked up at him, directly into his eyes and something inside him melted.  

Perhaps she had finally settled. Maybe now they were both fresh and rested she'd go easy on him. He could do this.

But then her face scrunched up and she whined.

"Oh no, no, no, baby, what is it? Don't cry. Don't cry. C'mon." Then he felt a warm liquid on his hand. "Okay, okay, message received. Let's do this"

He got a towel and unswaddled her, hoping he'd be able to remember how it was done afterwards and praying for it only being number one. It was, but he hadn't folded the nappy correctly and it had leaked all over the onesie, the blanket and... His duvet.  Goddamn it.

He sighed. If he kept calm, she'd sense it. "Okay, me darl. Shh. Hold on a second.  Where... Where've I left the nappies? Where?" He looked around the room but no sight of the pack. Shit. Last time he had changed her in the living room? So it had to be there. "Okay, hang on a minute sweets. I'll be right back" he ran out to get the pack, as the wailing got louder.

"Alright. Alright. I've got it, I've got it. I'm here. Hush" he managed to do it surprisingly fast and without new incidents. "Alright, alright. Almost done. C'mere." He lifted her up, checking the nappy was properly sealed, and went to the kitchen area where he had left the last clean onesie.

On his way, he found the pinky he had been looking for earlier as well "Hey look at this. Here it was." he washed it with water and put it in her open mouth. She began to suck instinctively, calming down.

Thank. Fucking. Goodness.

He sighed in relief.

He could do this.

He laid her down in the kitchen counter, so he could wash his hands, throw his wee stained t-shirt to the washer and unfold the onesie. She squirmed a little, but kept quiet.

"Alright, let's put this on you. Please don't squirm too much, darling. I don't want to hurt you." he pleaded.

"Okay, it's all done" he announced 10 minutes later, when he finally managed to button up all the miniscule buttons on the onesie. Bloody miniscule buttons made for small mothers' hands.

"What's next? Oh yes, bottle. Alright. Coming right up"

Just when he had put the bottle to warm up, she spit the pinky, and began fussing. "Hey, love , here" he put it back, but she spit again. "You ain't buying it, are you? You're hungry, and the pinky isn't fooling you." He chuckled "Clever girl. Alright, it's almost done so don't worry, okay? It's almost there" he took her back into his arms, and paced around until the microwave beeped.

He made a mental note to never again waking her up before the bottle was done.

Never again.

"Okay Princess. Here's your cocktail, made with love." he announced, as he carried her to the couch and sat down, propping her up and watching as she immediately sucked into the nipple, face relaxing instantly.

"Yea, you were hungry right? That's what happens when you sleep through lunch time. I hope you've learned your lesson, and that next time, you let me know alright?" He grinned, as a hand closed around his hair.

But she suddenly pulled away from the nipple and began to  fuss again, halfway through the bottle "What? That's all? You're done? So much impatience for half a bottle? No, you've gotta keep going. C'mon" he offered the nipple, and she rejected it, hand pulling his hair

"Ow! Ow! Pips, no honey. Let go. C'mon. C'mon dear, let go." he set the bottle aside and used his free hand to untangle hers from his hair. She cried louder. "Hey, okay, okay, you can pull my hair off if you keep quiet. Uh? Deal?" He got more cries in response. His face fell.

"But you never did this in hospital. You didn't give Daddy hell like this. Why now? Why do you do this when I'm all alone? Am I such a bad dad? I mean I'm following every step. I'm doing my best. Please give me a break" he pleaded, changing her to an upright position.

He was doing nothing wrong, was he? He was doing everything just like he had been taught in hospital.

Well except maybe...

He had an idea and laid her on the couch "Alright, shhh. Let's try this one" he said, unbuttoning her onesie again, -making a mental note to ask Len if he could get him some bigger ones that wouldn't take forever to deal with- and bringing her back to his chest. She instinctively snuggled up, and quieted within seconds at the contact of both their skins.

And he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. "So you just wanted this? Well you should've said so earlier." He did both, out of amusement and relief.

Fuck he had cried more these past 7 hours than in the entire last decade. It was ridiculous, really. That someone so little could have such a big effect on him.

"So, where were we hon?" He offered the bottle and this time she did latch, body glued to his, and grey piercing eyes looking right through him, as if she was staring at his soul, as if she was reminding him why he was doing all this. And all the  worries that had crowed him until that moment, just disappeared.

I can do this.

He didn't detach her from his chest for the rest of the day, as that seemed to keep her at peace and he didn't mind it. Rather enjoyed it.

So he changed his peed sheets and threw the nappy away, made himself some coffee and broke the mug in the process, as he struggled to do the whole thing with one hand. Then he had to pick it up and cut himself off with one of the shattered pieces.  However, he didn't mind: it was worth it as long as she remained undisturbed.

"Are you two better?" Mom asked when she called in the evening.

"Yes, yes. We're... We're alright. Got the ultimate trick. I think we came to an understanding."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Where is she, by the way?"

"Right here." he pressed his lips on the top of her head, rested on his shoulder.

"Has she eaten properly?'

"Aye. Then spat some of it on me and... Yea. I think she's good." she had finished both bottles fairly quickly.

"And you? How are you eating?"

"Managed to eat half a sandwich. So not too bad."

"Finish it."

"I'm fine, mother."

"Row by neglecting yourself you're putting her in danger too. So eat properly and stay sane for the sake of you both, okay?"

He sighed. "Alright. I'll finish the stupid sandwich."

"And eat some food or whatever. Vitamins."

"Shit, this is like being 10 again."

They hung up and Row did as told, in spite of himself. Mom had a point.

So he finished the sandwich and grabbed an apple, eating it in bites, chewing it slowly and as silently as possible so he wouldn't disturb his daughter.

Damn it was cold. He'd have to turn the heat on, which he never did cause the bill afterwards was terrifying. But hell, both of them were half naked in February. And he had already spent a fortune on that prune sized person, might as well keep her alive and warm.

Then he laid down with her cuddled on his bare chest as she breathed in uneven, scary patterns, which Callie had told him were normal.

And soon, he found they were breathing in sync, every breath he took was three of hers. Or 5. Or none.

But it was normal, he reminded himself. Her breathing system has to develop still. She's fine.

He was exhausted, but completely wakeful at the same time, cause he was hypnotized by the sight of his little sleeping prune.

Like he would be countless nights in the future.

Because there was no better remedy for panic, no better way to put his thoughts in order and make him feel the strongest, happiest man on Earth than the sight of his daughter sleeping.

🥁🥁🥁🥁

As always, a big Heya to my only reader friend, @definitely-darcy. As you know I'm nervous about this chapter, but I enjoyed writing it a lot. So I hope you like It.

Xx ~Pookie

[cheshiresense]

I just found the alt!swinging pendulum bits you've done and I am blown away. The really funny thing? I actually remember wondering how things would be going if Ichigo wasn't alone in that verse the first time I read it years ago. Having you explore that and having those bits be UraIchi is beyond my own imaginings! How did Kisuke take waking up in the past? Did he know Ichigo was thrown back too, or did he think he was alone for a while? Any chance you'll ever consider a bit from his POV?

I imagine the Soul King (following SP canon) offered them the same deal when they were both locked up in Muken. They wake up in different places in the past though so that might’ve caused a bit of panic, especially since Kisuke would’ve known Ichigo was in bad condition before coming back, and the Soul King didn’t exactly give them details about where they would end up.

My muse does not want to write anything above in Kisuke’s pov (or anyone’s pov) though so Imma just give you something else in Kisuke’s pov. Takes place sometime in the future after the other two bits I wrote.

Kisuke is reorganizing the Twelfth’s seated complement on paper when a commotion coming up the hall makes him glance up. His lieutenant’s dulcet tones is easily recognizable even if it does take a few seconds for Kisuke to make out what she’s shouting about this time.

“-try ta bust in, I swear I’ll bankai your ass inta the next century!”

Her reiatsu is a simmering ball of irritation, and somewhere further behind her are two muted - one more than the other - but equally familiar reiatsu signatures.

Kisuke sighs. Well, at least they’re using the door.

Hiyori reaches his office, and he half-expects her to slam it open without so much as a knock. She doesn’t knock, but she also keeps her grip on the doorknob so that when she storms inside, the only sound comes from her sandals against the floorboards.

Kisuke arches an eyebrow. “Hiyori-san, what can I help you with today?” He pauses a beat. “Because I could have sworn I said I didn’t want to be disturbed this afternoon.”

Hiyori rolls her eyes before crossing her arms with a scowl. “You know perfectly well what. Shiba’s here with some paper-pusher. Says he needs you ta sign some stuff.” She snorts. “Who does that dumbass think he’s kidding?”

Indeed. If there’s one thing Kisuke regrets about coming back to this time, aside from the tripled workload of being a captain again, it’s that he seems to have garnered the Shiba Clan Head’s disfavour. It’s troublesome at best, if only because the lieutenant keeps swooping around and sticking his nose into business that has nothing to do with him every time he sees Ichigo with Kisuke as if his cousin is some damsel in distress who needs to be saved from Kisuke’s evil clutches.

Not that that’s enough to make Kisuke stay away from Ichigo of course. Kaien would have to make sure he’s well and truly dead and buried for that to happen, and as far as Kisuke knows, the lieutenant isn’t that suicidal yet.

On the other hand…

“Paper-pusher?” Kisuke repeats in mild tones.

Hiyori shrugs aggressively. “Probably a runner from the Ninth? Who cares, Shiba brought her.” Her eyes light up with gleeful violence. “Can I kick’em out?”

“No,” Kisuke says dryly and immediately gets a sullen glower for his efforts. Hiyori twitches like she wants to launch a kick at him, and Kisuke mentally applauds her self-restraint when she manages to reel back the urge.

Ichigo’s been good for her, and not just because he managed to walk her through achieving Bankai in only a few short months.

“Why not?” Hiyori hisses at him. “Ya know that dumbass is probably just here ta drag Ichigo back ta the Shiba compound for some family get-together he only threw together an hour ago cuz he gets the shakes or breaks out in hives or somethin’ every time he even thinks about the two of ya together. I should just boot’im out! Ichigo’s not gonna wanna go.”

Here they both turn to look at the couch tucked in one corner of Kisuke’s office where a certain Eighth Division Third Seat is buried under about three blankets and fast asleep. There are bags under his eyes, and even unconscious, his brow is furrowed and tense.

Kisuke hasn’t seen him this stressed in a while. Despite all the annoyances and necessary adjustments of being dropped in this time, the past has been good for Ichigo. But Aizen has tainted at least a third of the Twelfth Division, and arranging for accidents out in Rukongai that would fool even Aizen Sousuke is a chore and a half. As a captain, Kisuke can’t not be seen for more than a day or two, especially with spies in his own labs so he can’t even use the excuse of losing track of time over an experiment or invention to sneak out. Ichigo on the other hand is regularly sent on missions outside of Seireitei, sometimes leading patrols, other times going solo, and that gives him more opportunities to slip away. But that also means a lot of the dirty work falls to Ichigo now, on top of his Third Seat duties, and Kisuke hates it.

So when they have a day like today, when Ichigo managed to finish his paperwork early, and Kyouraku doesn’t need him for anything else, and nothing Aizen-related is particularly urgent, Kisuke is loath to let anyone bother him for anything short of the apocalypse.

“Well?” Hiyori snaps impatiently.

And yet…

“Let them in,” Kisuke decides as he sets his work aside.

Hiyori stares for a moment, then draws herself up and bristles. “What?!” She whisper-screams at him. “Have you seen Ichigo lately? I dunno what’s goin’ on over at the Eighth for them ta have so much work ta do, but clearly they’re workin’ him ta the bone. The last thing he needs is Shiba’s… everything!”

Kisuke almost smiles. Hiyori has become surprisingly… steadier with Ichigo around. Their friendship is an odd one. They still bicker about as much as they did in that other future-past, but Hiyori is a little calmer in Ichigo’s presence, and she certainly listens to him more than she does Kisuke. She’s also become ferociously protective of him since the first time she saw Ichigo stumbling into the Twelfth looking like death warmed over and spending the next six hours sitting at Kisuke’s side and staring at nothing. Kisuke got no work done that day. He was tempted to simply take Ichigo back to their apartment, but people might ask questions, so he simply holed them both up in his private quarters and curled himself around Ichigo until Ichigo came back to himself.

(Ichigo had just come home from a mission - solo, two and a half weeks long, District 70, West Rukongai. It was also the first time he took a little side-trip and quietly dispatched thirteen Shinigami - five of them not even a century old, with faces young enough to pass for middle-schoolers, and obviously naive enough for Aizen to bribe or brainwash - out of the group of fifteen Twelfth Division members who also happened to be on a mission two districts away, investigating rumours of particularly strong Hollows in the area. The thirteen were separated and later found messily slaughtered in various locations where Hollow reiatsu soaked the air.

Kisuke will never be able to top the events and circumstances he manipulated in order to turn Ichigo’s soul into the perfect weapon against Aizen. But teaching Ichigo the intricacies of what amounts to wetworks and then sending him out to do a job that should be Kisuke’s to handle comes pretty damn close.

Ichigo’s told him more than once that it’s not his fault, and Kisuke knows his lover well enough to hear the truth in it. Besides, Ichigo’s never been one to hold back from telling Kisuke exactly what he thinks.

But still this is another sin for him to bear, even if it is necessary, and it drips wet and red in a way that even his most horrifying missions from his Onmitsukidou days never will.)

Hiyori predictably flipped that day, pacing back and forth like an agitated tiger and taking her ire out on the training grounds, and at the five-hour mark, she almost ran off to tear Lisa a new one for “piling too much crap on their Third Seat, isn’t the Eighth supposed ta be the squad that took it easy?!”

Somehow, Kisuke managed to convince her to stay put. The last thing they needed was the Eighth to launch an investigation of some kind. Hiyori still glared at him like she was trying to set him on fire with her eyes, but she also spent the rest of the day - as soon as Ichigo came out of his daze - shoving food at him and kicking anyone who so much as looked like they wanted to ask why the Eighth Division Third Seat was in the Twelfth Division compound. Not many though. It helped that some of them had already seen Ichigo coming and going since he graduated.

“If they only want me to sign something, I’m sure they’ll be quick,” Kisuke says now.

Hiyori does not look impressed. “You-”

“And I won’t let Shiba-san wake Ichigo,” Kisuke continues before levelling a pointed look on his lieutenant. “Let them in, Hiyori-fukutaichou. The quicker you do, the faster they’ll leave.”

Hiyori’s jaw works for a long moment, her hands clenching into fists before finally relenting. She turns on her heel and stalks back out without so much as a salute to Kisuke.

She still doesn’t let the door bang shut behind her though.

It takes her two minutes to retrieve the compound’s two visitors, and Kisuke can hear her threatening them all the way back to his office.

“-break anything and I��m gonna put you and spineless over here in the Fourth for a month!”

Then the door swings open once more, Shiba Kaien steps in with a mousey-looking young woman holding a stack of files at his side and practically cowering from Hiyori’s rage. Hiyori shoots Kisuke one last venomous warning look before shutting the door and storming off.

Kisuke isn’t surprised when he feels her reiatsu retreat only to her office across the hall despite the fact that she should be training a group of Shinigami on one of the training grounds at this time.

He ignores it. She can’t hear anything and that’s enough. He gets to his feet as Kaien and his aide approaches with greetings of Urahara-taichou, but the moment Kaien catches sight of Ichigo on the couch off to the side, Kisuke cuts off his exclamation with a perfectly pleasant, “Shiba-fukutaichou, if you startle him awake, my lieutenant will not be the reason for your impending visit to the Fourth.”

The threat seems to stun Kaien, perhaps because Kisuke’s never bothered before. The Shiba Clan Head has already given him the overprotective shovel talk, inserted himself into every conversation Kisuke starts with Ichigo the few times they’ve agreed to eat dinner at the Shibas’, even tried to drag Kisuke off for “male-bonding time” with an arm around his shoulders that threatened to strangle Kisuke that one time he caught the two of them sharing a brief kiss in passing, and Kisuke has let it all slide without batting an eye.

(On the other hand, Ichigo almost gutted Kaien for that last one, and whatever Ichigo said to him later in private, it made enough of an impact that Kaien hasn’t laid a hand on Kisuke since, and he even gritted out an apology the day after.)

Whatever the reason, Kaien’s mouth shuts with a click, and that’s all Kisuke cares about. He smiles blandly at him, then at the woman hovering nervously a foot behind the lieutenant. “So then? What do you have for me to sign?” He pauses, raking a casual eye over the woman. “Your aide is vaguely familiar to me, Shiba-san, but I don’t recall you working with many assistants in the past. Did she get a haircut? New outfit? Perhaps she used to be blond?”

There’s a moment of silence, then the woman straightens from her impression of a wilting flower and roughly signs in butchered Onmitsukidou shorthand, :speak private. no ears?:

Kisuke eyes them for another few seconds before heaving a sigh. Kaien glances between them before jumping in, “Nah, she probably just has one of those faces. Anyway, here are the files. She had stuff for the Thirteenth to sign too, so I thought I’d accompany her here to get her in faster.”

Kisuke nods agreeably. “I see. We’d best get started then. That looks like quite a number of reports.”

He tips his head in the direction of the door that leads to his private quarters before circling around to where Ichigo is sleeping. He has a feeling he knows what this conversation is going to be about, and Ichigo won’t want to miss it. Besides, it isn’t just for Kisuke to decide what they’re going to say.

He kneels once he reaches the couch, ignoring the eyes on his back. He has never been ashamed of this relationship he’s built with Ichigo. It’s the one thing that was never even up for discussion after they came back in time - they wouldn’t hide this, wouldn’t hide them. They have to work together anyway so people were bound to find out they knew each other. Whether or not Aizen or Central 46 finds out they love each other doesn’t really matter in the greater scheme of things. Maybe it’s selfish, but it’s the one thing Kisuke won’t give up, and it’s always as much a surprise as it is a relief to know that Ichigo feels the same way.

(On occasion, when Kisuke lets himself, he thinks, even if the whole world burns again, so long as he still has Ichigo, he could keep going forever.)

“Ichigo,” He murmurs, reaching out to run gentle fingers through bright sunset hair. “I know you’re tired but I need some help with work. Could you wake up for me?”

Ichigo stirs almost immediately, leaning into Kisuke’s hand before he’s even fully awake, and that’s never something Kisuke will stop marveling at, the innate trust in such a simple gesture.

“Mm, Kisuke?” Ichigo mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes even as he pushes himself up onto one elbow. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“No, nothing wrong, per se,” Kisuke replies lightly, helping Ichigo peel back the blankets as he sits up. “Unless you call the truly abhorrent amount of paperwork Shiba-san and his assistant just brought in wrong, which I would not argue against.”

Ichigo snuffles out a snort, and Kisuke tries not to frown at the way he presses a palm to his forehead, pain lurking in the crease of his brow. “Headache?”

Ichigo grunts and drops his hand. “Just a small one. I’ll be-”

He breaks off, then sighs, half-exasperated, half-relieved as Kisuke touches fingertips to temples and soothes away the building migraine with a soft flicker of his own reiatsu.

“Thanks,” Ichigo sighs, sounding more awake. Kisuke hums and rises to his feet to give Ichigo some room to get up as well.

A hand slides into his, their fingers tangling, and it’s habit, easy and familiar, hello and l love you and I’m with you - the way Ichigo presses a kiss to Kisuke’s knuckles before letting go and stretching the kinks out of his back.

Then the mask comes down, all scowling irritation once more, as Ichigo pushes to his feet and Kisuke steps to the side, and both of them turn as one to their two staring guests.

“Please,” Kisuke gestures to his quarters. “Through here. I do hope this won’t take the rest of the day.”

“We can speak freely in here,” Kisuke assures once the door is shut and the only two chairs in the room have been pulled up beside the bed. Ichigo perches at the end of the bed and Kisuke takes a seat beside him.

“But before that,” Ichigo interjects with his usual bluntness, eyes sharp on the brunette still holding the files. “For fuck’s sake, change back, Hirako-taichou. This is fucking weird, even for you.”

The woman pouts for a second before a Cheshire grin splits her face. Her form wavers before the illusion spell slides off, and the familiar figure of the Fifth Division captain is the one lounging back in the chair. He dumps the files on the ground now that there’s no more need for the pretense.

“You’re good,” Shinji nods at Ichigo. “Nobody gave me a second glance on my way here. Even Hiyori didn’t notice anything.”

Ichigo shrugs. “Whatever. Why are you here?” He looks at his cousin. “And you?”

Kaien grimaces. “Don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t actually coming to get you today.” For a second, his gaze flits from Ichigo to Kisuke, and he gives Kisuke the oddest look Kisuke’s ever received from him. At the very least, the passive hostility seems to be missing. Then the man looks back at Ichigo. “Hirako-taichou came to me for a favour.”

“You owe me a few favours at this point,” Shinji retorts, but he turns back to Kisuke quickly enough, looking uncharacteristically serious. “Alright, I’m not gonna waste time beatin’ ’round the bush.” To his credit, he does pause for a moment before glancing at Kaien. “Should Kaien leave the room?”

“Hey!” Kaien snaps back, and for once, he’s completely serious too. He looks slightly confused, but there’s also an alert sort of tension in his reiatsu as he looks at them all. “I’m not going anywhere. You went to the trouble of badgering me to smuggle you in here cuz everyone would just think I’m here to drag Ichigo out. You can’t include me halfway and then tell me to leave.”

“It ain’t even halfway yet,” Shinji mutters. He looks to Kisuke though, and when Kisuke - after sharing a glance with Ichigo - nods, he shrugs and barrels on. “Eight months ago, ya told me ta clean house, Urahara. Ya told me you were cleanin’ house too.”

Kisuke cocks his head. “So I did.”

Shinji shakes his head, looking irritated. “I was only ever watchin’ Aizen, and Ichimaru once he joined up.” Kaien suddenly straightens but Kisuke doesn’t take his eyes off Shinji. “I didn’ look at anyone else ’til ya mentioned it. And then I started noticing a few of ’em leavin’ for missions I didn’ sanction. Granted, lieutenants are allowed ta look over missions and assign them without notifying me so long as I sign off on ’em before the final mission report reaches the Ninth, so Aizen’s not actually doin’ anythin’ illegal. But he assigns a lot of missions. Missions that might or might not come from up top, if ya get my drift. So,” Shinji taps a finger against the hilt of his Zanpakutou. “If my dear lieutenant’s been mockin’ up missions ta put in front of me, what the hell is he sendin’ my people out ta Rukongai for?”

Kisuke considers him for a long moment. “You mean you don’t know that yet?”

“And here’s the thing, Urahara,” Shinji continues abruptly almost before Kisuke finishes. “Ya told me you were cleaning house. And there’s been talk. Interesting talk that I’ve followed up on, and ya know what the records say? In the past seven months, thirteen percent of your squad has died, Urahara. Thirteen percent. All killed on different missions out in Rukongai. The higher-ups are gettin’ chatty. They can’t decide if ya just don’t care or you’re plain incompetent.”

Kisuke blinks. Then winces when Ichigo elbows him.

“You didn’t tell me that,” Ichigo says sharply. “The old man’s been giving you shit? Or Central 46?”

Kisuke waves a dismissive hand. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, Ichigo. I’ve never been the best captain. I’ve made mistakes before, sending out Shinigami too weak for the mission assigned to them. They don’t suspect anything.”

Ichigo only frowns harder. “…You could lose your captaincy though.”

Kisuke smiles, a twist of a thing that feels too bitter by far. “Oh you don’t have to worry about that either. I’ve invented far too many things for the Gotei for them to even consider demoting me. And who would take my place anyway? Head of a squad centered around research and development, and not something the government would want disbanded now that it exists. Kurotsuchi-san? He doesn’t have Bankai yet, he would never get the votes, and he would never win a trial by combat against me. They won’t demote me for anything short of irrefutable treason. They can’t.”

Ichigo watches him for a moment longer before knocking their hands together. “If you’re sure.”

Kisuke smiles fondly at him. “I am.”

“That’s cute,” Shinji says flatly. He even sounds like he means it, but at the same time could not care less right now. “Now what the hell is goin’ on? Cuz I’ve noticed a handful of Shinigami from other squads have also been gettin’ offed on missions. Are ya doin’ that too? And why’re ya-” He stops, and a muscle jumps in his jaw. “Are ya tellin’ me Aizen’s infiltrated all the squads? Is that it?”

“Wait wait wait, back up,” Kaien cuts in, ignoring Shinji’s blistering glare at being interrupted. “Aizen is- I know something isn’t right about the guy but why is he even doing… anything? What’s his goal?” He looks between Ichigo and Kisuke again. “And why are you two of all people doing something about it? I know you said you bumped into each other and that’s how you met but seriously I am not that fucking stupid. What is going on?”

Shinji’s gaze swings back around to bore holes in them both, clearly demanding answers.

Kisuke sighs and tugs absently on the brim of his hat before glancing at Ichigo once more. Ichigo stares back, then shrugs. “You did say Shinji would come to us first.”

Shinji’s eyes narrow at the familiar use of his first name, the syllables rolling off Ichigo’s tongue far more easily than Hirako-taichou ever had, but he stays silent, listening, always listening.

“And Kaien’s an idiot-” Ichigo continues, and Kaien makes a frustrated noise that Ichigo ignores. “-but he’s not, you know, Goat-Face levels of idiot. Neither of them’s gonna run off to the government about it. Might as well.”

And you can always modify their memories if they try running to anybody else about it, Ichigo doesn’t say because it’s exactly what Kisuke will do if it comes to that, and he figured out how to make a Kikanshinki work on a Shinigami a long time ago.

“Best get comfortable,” Kisuke advises, shifting back to lean against the wall next to his bed even as he lets the long sleeves of his haori flutter down to hide his hands. A binding spell quivers between his fingers, and beside him, Ichigo’s reiatsu whispers over his senses, so faint that even Kisuke only feels it because he’s so familiar with it.

He looks at Shinji, then Kaien, then, “What do you know of the Soul King?”