#ik what im signing up for
Text
me: i’m gonna look through this tag to find sm nice Angst yes this will be great :]
me when i find the angst: (sobbing) how could you be so rude op
#every time i go on this godforsaken site#ik what im signing up for#and still s o b when i get it lmao#oakworth#dndads#jason todd#batfam#literally any fandom i’ve ever been into#yes ik how ironic it is to love the number 1 joker hater and the number 1 joker cosplayer#what can i say#i have multitudes
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
going into begins youth completely blind not knowing a thing about bts' universe other than they're tragic and gay has been such an experience
#i feel like i have a gist of what's happening but at the same time my theories feel like something a 5th grader would come up with#ik there's a time loop aspect involved in the original universe#so my guess is that all the individual storylines we're seeing on the day of the fire have something to do with that?#i'm so confused i signed up for sad gay people and instead im being forced to keep track of a whole other groups lore on top of txts#free me#begins youth
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i didnt mention it while i was liveblogging mal.evolent but one of the other reasons i didnt like it enough#to continue listening after ep 6 was that i had small warning signs flashing in the back of my mind for the few times#that they talk about any woman on the show#fast forward to just now seeing a post criticizing the way it handles its female characters 50 eps later#[insert oprah gesturing gif]#joos yaps#delete later#EDIT oh right and it got defended by 'not every story needs to have a bunch of women in it. [...] to reach a women quota'#like you do know that roughly 50% of all humans are women. right. ok probably a little less because nb people take up a chunk but still#it would in fact be weird if your story has no female characters when its protagonist isnt confined to a small set of people or locations#and ik malevolent HAS female characters but the argument just got under my skin. it is not a burden or speciality to write women#as fully fledged as male characters#and the idea that it would be is misogynistic#im sorry. it just is. it's a batshit argument to make#the other more important arguments were to defend the shows portrayal of women which i wont argue about for obvious reasons#i could only talk about what i vaguely recall from the first 6 eps and the women werent THE reason i stopped listening#also no hard feelings to the people discussing this or feeling differently about the show;#god knows ive said some stuff online that in hindsight didn't hold water
14 notes
·
View notes
Photo
i fear i may be in too deep
#no one talk to me im going though ir#shes so pretty im in love#kty throwing around peace signs and thumbs up....shes so <3333333#we finally get 1080p videos of her instead of some webcam quality sknbdfkjs im actually shaking#and yeah VIDEOS as in plural!!!!! i never lose#but ik one of the videos are coming saturday and i have work#what if i say im considering calling in...no i couldnt possibly...unless????#kristina tonteri young#wn cast#warrior nun cast
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
dudes ive hit a point with The Horrors:tm: where im unable to convince myself that any of my friends actually like me
#vent#it's like. i think im a pretty solid guy#my negative traits dont define my view of myself etc#i understand that if someone doesnt ike me it doesnt mean im horible etc#but like. i am unable to believe that anyone wants to be around me#even if someone explicitly says they want to talk to me/want to hang out/enjoy my presence#im like hmm. well. sounds fake.#and again it's not like i think im an unlovable piece of shit or something#i just dont think anyone is being honest with me#like i rarely notice hints or subtext or passive aggression when people talk to me#but im simultaneously excessively sensitive and will be like 'wait do they hate me now' if someone sends like an all lowercase one word tex#because it's like. oh no what if they actually ARE hinting that they dont like me. etc#most of the time when i get 'god shut the fuck up' vibes theres not actually anything wrong#BUT because theres been so many times that i MISSED the 'god shut the fuck up' vibes#i automatically assume everyone is mad at me/doesnt like me/doesnt want t talk.#even trying to say 'usually im wrong about people being mad' is extremely difficult#bc im like. fully convinced ive been right every time#and that everyone has just been lying t me#this has been a thing since like. age 14+ for me#but lately it's gotten worse#and like im scared to even dm a friend a meme because they might be mad (they literally sent me a song rec earlier. i have no reason to#assume theyre mad. except when i got the messages i was like 'oh no what if this has a hidden meaning')#it's one of those things where like. my anxiety medication works really well#but this is the flavor of anxiety thats inspired by past experiences#s even if i try to tell myself there arent any signs that theyre mad/annoyed/whatever#i immediately think 'but ive been wrong before.'#and then that same loop stops me from asking. because asking either annoys people or they lie to me about it#idk idk idk im tired#even if i did ask i wouldnt believe any answer other than 'yes im mad/annoyed/whatever'#including if they add 'i just need to be alone right now' or 'yes but not at you' or 'yes and i need to cool off'
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think one of the worst feelings in the world is having uncertainty about your living situation it is literally so stressful and there's like... not much i can do right now...
#so k is still planning on moving and may be leaving the 16th of may. but doesn't know for sure. but apparently the apartment she wants says#she has to notify our apartment now that she will be leaving which means we both have to sign something that says she's leaving and i'm#taking responsibility for the lease.... and she doesn't know that she has it yet so she doesn't have someone to move in and take her spot.#i'm trying to get my friends to move in but idk if they will probably not. regardless if k leaves and we don't have anyone then i like#legally have to pay the full rent. i don't think she would leave me hanging like that but also i feel so uncomfortable betting my whole#financial situation on that because i would LITERALLY get evicted. like i cannot afford that under any circumstances. sooo.#and on top of that i'm still so scared that i'll end up with a roommate i don't like. ik that's like not even that big of an issue like i've#had that before and i'll survive but i don't want to have to deal with that like ik im being a baby but i just feel so scared about the#whole thing#like i kind of want to say no to signing the thing but that would screw kate over and definitely blow up our friendship but i really don't#feel like our friendship is in a place where i feel like i can trust her with like. my whole entire bank account and credit score. bc like.#that's what's at risk.#idk i'm gonna talk to her about it and just make sure that there's no other way and make sure that she promises to pay her part of the rent#until someone takes it over. and also probably talk to my parents and see if they're willing to bail me out if she DOES fuck me over... i'm#99.99999% sure she won't but. idkkkk my brain is just nagging me abt that one little chance...
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
dont you hate it when you sign up for classes and then they have work in them
#ik its my fault i signed up for 3 aps senior year#howeverrr its absolutely criminal to assign like 40 pages of textbook reading and notes and a 20 minute video with notes#due 2 days after assigning it#like what do u think i do with my time#i alsooo have a quiz on wednesday on the entire play of oedipus#which we got less than a week to read + take notes on#:)))) i love it here#anyways im procrastinating bye
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to find any information on anything is so fucking impossible these days
#i just want. web hosting that also has file hosting where i dont have to like have the files Displayed On The Site#i dont even know like. what thats called#but nothing ever seems to specify one way or the other??#like i feel like thered be some sort of phrasing that id see & be like oh maybe thats what im looking for#but no. it just doesnt seem to be mentioned#& so many sites are like. oh were designed to work with wordpress!! like cool but i dont CARE about that#i want to build my site from scratch actually.#i want to be able to host images that i can use elsewhere on the internet without necessarily having them on an Actual Page of my website#ik godaddy does this. bc i used to use them waaaaay back in like 2007 or so lmfao#but ive heard some Not So Great things abt them so ive been trying to look into other options#(but honestly i might just use them bc id probably hear Not So Great things about Everyone)#(it seems to just be standard business practice at this point)#idk. theres a site called dreamhost i might try but idk if they have the features i want#ig if anyone has any input on any of this lmk#either abt godaddy or dreamhost or if u know of any good alternatives#i dont even need anything super complex just like. custom domain name. file hosting. security that doesnt suck#this is probably all standard i just hate how hard it is to actually find the info#& i dont want to sign up for 10579348 free trials to find out#this is all in the tags bc. the post applies to so much more than just this lmao#this is just my Current Issue
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying
#purrs#i know it is entirely within my right to address these things both for my sake and for his / his future clients but im so scared lol like i#don’t want to tell him he’s doing a bad job and making it hard for me to navigate but literally when you keep steamrolling and silencing me#and cutting me off and forcing me around… yeah. also he has to record our sessions and show them to his profs / supervisors and it’s so like#idk. ive been recorded in sessions before and im totally fine w it but there’s 2 things abt this specific instance of it thst distress and#annoy me. 1) when we sign on to our session he says like 2 things to me then starts the recording and is TOTALLY fake and forcing it like#hello tess welcome to our session and he’ll repeat some of the stuff he said but in a more like.. extensive way so it just feels rly fake#to me lol. WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME 1.5) not related to the recording but every time he asks me questions he asks like… 3 questions but doesn’t#give me space to answer the two like it’s just a bridge for him as he&/ working his way to the thing he actually wants to ask me and i#fucking hate when ppl ask me questions and then answer them themselves or like don’t want to hear the answer. i had 2 profs like that in#brighton and it fucking pissed me offff so being around someone who does that again is rly agitating ik it’s just a nervous habit but yeah.#and 2) i am kinda concerned that none of my counselors profs or supervisors have seemed to call him on how he doesn’t give me space or let#me guide the convo. like idk maybe it’s just that all of my counselors before him were too loose w me but i feel like it s not supposed to f#feel this rigid and i am kinda scared abt the implications of no one actually watching these recordings and see how i try to speak but he#almost always talks over me and i just give up. lol. i like him he’s a nice person i just think he’s nervous and trying too hard and it#would be passable for like.. the little kid clients who usually go there but it doesn’t feel good for me a 23 year old who has had like what#6 counselors before him all of whom gave me space and didn’t shove me around. i miss the counselors i had from oct 2020 - jul 2021 and sept#2021 - feb 2022 they were the best ever and i am inches away from terminating here and just trying to go to wherever they are full time now#and working w them again bc they rly got me and i didn’t know how good i had it lol. i guess i don’t need someone as good anymore bc things#in my life are objectively better than they were during those times but my mental health is still bad so i would uhhh… like someone good#and don’t think that’s too much to ask and need to get it into my head that i CAN ask it. ok rant over#*no one actually watching the recordings has seen / pointed out to him how he steamrolls me etc etc
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
The indoctrination was successful guys, I just showed my dad a bunch of Seb clips and he said he's now his favorite
#that one 'theres smth loose btwn my legs' clip made him lose it hahahaha#but the top gear interview is what got him#tho i will say thats its painful to show him all these clips and then be like 'oh yeah do remember hes retired tho' 😭#but fernando is his other fav so im very proud of myself#i think he also likes kimi(i showed him some clips)#sry for rambling BUT OH MY GOD SPEAKING OF KIMI#hes racing in nascar rn right?(jb too) and hes my brothers absolute fav driver#and guess where kimi is racing....15 mins from where my brother lives#HE HAS TO GO HE HAS TO PLSSSS IM TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM LOL#im like 'ik we dont like nascar but pls go so i can live vicariously thru you'#im like 'but okay what if you met one of them' 👀👀#pls go get me smth signed i am absolutely begging 🙏#but cmon its a sign right???? he has to. hes gotta. i mean cmon.#but seriously if he ends up going ill be so happy bcs just that small chance that smth does occur for him#he said hes gonna give kimi 'the drink' JSKDKFKF#okay anyways im very pleased w the way im dragging my father into f1 and that my bro and i have a common obsession#catie.rambling.txt
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw a total stranger on the streets and smth hit me like a rock and im kinda tiptoeing everything rn cos im scared it triggered an alter and. feels bad man!!!!
#idk how to deal with this!!!!!#therapist who diag me went away like 3 weeks after the diag i don't have any tools 💀#ik ive been struggling since before the diag but now that i know what's up it gets so frustrating to still. not know what to doooo#augh.#big head in hands moment idk how to communicate with him and i just hope he's fine.#tomtom_is_rambling#tomtoms_system#anyway will try to decompress and play some chill video game and try to reach out :(((#might make it more of a big deal than it is but i just wish i wasn't for once the only one fronting rn and have like some signs of j#anyway sorry who cares#needed to get that shit out im sorry#like it's been since??2021??? since my last therapist just went away and. the current one i have we're not doing anything#40min/month isn't enough at all but i can't complain cos she's a free service :(((#absolutely cannot afford “”“real”“” therapy with another phycologist or phychiatrist as france healthcare still sucks ass#and don't consider mental shit as. vital. so you have to pay it 100% augh.#they started to put something together i think but it's TEN sessions MAX (💀) + has to be prescribed by a doc#LOOOOL as if there was any doctors available rn lmao. lol even.
1 note
·
View note
Text
The aph nations are all pathetic ass losers we all know that I've seen yall drag them through the dirt like ragdolls. But let them be cool for once, just let them be downright the coolest people you've ever met. Just an absolute blast to be around. This new years I'm gonna write them some stuff that makes em look so cool you guys just you wait.
#hetalia#hws#this is probably incomprehensible to yall but whatever you'll see what i mean#when i say cool i mean leather jacket sunglasses lean back cuz im so chill kinda cool#i mean the cruisin downtown with the homies strutting down the street in my sexy new oitfit kinda cool#i mean the we shine brighter than the neon signs at night kinda cool#i mean the sly smirk as i rev up the engine of my ferrari and wink at your direction kinda cool#i mean the no matter where we go people cant help but stop and look cause dayum we're so hot kinda cool#i mean the when we smile youre a goner and when we talk youll never want to stop listening to my voice kinda cool#the kinda cool that just draws you in and leaves you wanting more of em cause wowza they're just so. damn. cool.#ik yall love dragging them thru dirt and throwing them down muddy slides like ragdolls that have been thru hell n back but PLS GUYS#let them be cool
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
fully accepted that tumblr just won't ever fix the jacob fic tag situation that's . lovely :)
#sungbeam strikes again#one of the few times i am genuinely so disappointed#like out of all the fics the tags had to not work on it was the longest fic i've ever decided to write here#this post will self destruct#maybe .?#dunno#kind of sad dkcnskcjdkfj cries#my motivation swings so wildly like one moment im going into work mode and the next i wonder whats the point#kinda just wanna feel like i enjoy writing again? and i really did feel that way when i was writing party people#but after i finished i felt legit so empty.#ik that i signed up for this amoutn of interaction level when i decided to write for a smaller fandom here on blr#but ig i just get my hopes up way too much#anyways dunno why i decided to rant in tags rn but im just so tired dude
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the transmasculine urge to be ron swanson
#genuinely#cause before even realizing this ive signed up for a woodworking class#and im doing muscle gain work outs#trans#ron swanson#wait what if ron swanson transmasc#yes ik he has a biological kid#anyways#parcs and rec#parcs and recreation
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
now one cares if ur mom loves you soooo muc and u love her soooo much and ur omg arent mothers soo great always bs. shut up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#(BEING VERY PETTY BC MINE SUCKS SO FUCKING MUCH)#but also if i have to see the post bieng like 'oohh imagine sweet nothing with how your mother always loves u unconditionly' everywere#(which good 4 u stop acting like thats the universal experience for everyone it fucking isnt)#then you all have to deal with me platonic-fing it and making it abt friendship. sucks to suck loser !!!!#like what if the soul deconstructers *are* my parents in my experience. what then bitch !!#sorry im rly just annoyed abt that one post bc i feel like theres an obsession among swifties to only every understand each song in a way#that like. does or cld fit within her life instead of relating it to ur own experince esp in regards to them all being abt romance#like ppl being like 'i cant believe ppl think x song cld count as a platonic love song when its obvs abt romancce'#or not understanding how the emotions expressed in a song abt a traumatic break up could also be related to other trauma#including trauma inflicted by a parent/friend/ any other relation someone cld have to someone#but the one time !! relating one of her songs to smth other than roamnce is acceptable to swifties its the stupid fucking#'ohh my mom is soo great shes the best' bs thats a sure fire sign the person saying it will never take anyone whos been mistreated#by the parents serious and just respond w 'but its ur momm u have to love her bc shes ur mommm :((((('#sorry ik im being needlessly bitter which sucks bc i have a a good point here like can we just let ppl relate to songs in whatever way they#want to and not care abt their being a 'defnitive' meaning to the song bc the whole point of art esp music is how YOU relate to it#also like. that post isnt bad at all its acutally completely fine im just bieng dumb and projecting ig bc i feel like the emotions of ppl#whos parents were good to them r always taken more seriously like. if i made a post talking abt relating the 'give me back my girlhood' lin#to my experince w my shitty parents i feel like it wldnt be taken as seriously as this 'uwu i love my momm' bs yk. anyway maybe im wrong !!#who knows !!!!! maybe i shld try to talk abt how i relate her songs to my personal experinces more#also i am being rly dumb sm bc ik other ppl have spoken abt relating her songs (esp mtr and tolerate it) to shitty parnets but iv also seen#ppl treat that like its dumb which is stupid !!!!! who cares !!!! ur being a dick let ppl relate music to whatever experiences they want !!#anyway. i think i seem more pissed her than i actually am im just annoyed bc this is a pet peeve of mine lol#flappy rambles
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey you aren't dumb ❤️ you are carrying a lot on your plate right now and I can't imagine what it's like now having the weight of people waiting for your story I would freeze and not be able to do it ngl. Your best is going to look different from day to day some days you'll get everything you wanted done and some you will get nothing done, regardless you still did your best. The fact you've even been able to kinda balance everything is impressive
🥀
uuauaghh o(T□T)o rose anon..... why are u so kind.... yyeah um. the weight of expectations is killing me just a little. just a tiiiny bit lol. it was definitely easier to write and post before when i was brand new and no one was expecting anything (and there were especially no expectations on like the Quality of my writing)... idk. even like the longer i take it gets worse bc im like.. it has to be Really good now to be worth the wait. imagine i take months to put this out and ppl dont like it. ahhh. and then i get extra nitpicky and change things so it takes LONGER.. a vicious cycle. lolllll but yeahh! ty for reminding me that like it's okay. i super super superr appreciate u ❤️🫶
#me when i start crying#💖🩷💕🩵🫶#ask#🥀#oughs another tangent. i think it even worsens when ppl send nice comments and i hhhate that 😭#like if someone says they loved rosy and theyre so excited for more im like. well obviously initial reaction is WOWIFJD 💕❤️🩷💖#but then im like#ok. theyre excited. theyre waiting. u have to make it rly good. cannot disappoint these lovely ppl#or every time someone says my writing is really good or something im like. WHAT tysm??@!?(? and then in the back of my head its like#okay.. i have to live up to that now#like. why is my brajn doing this to me#lolll#but like definitely do not take this as a sign to not say nice things anymore they are also the only thing keeping me going so pls#it just like. subconsciously adds more pressure i think?? idk how to stop that#and like ik a lot of u guys say it'll be good no matter what but. i just cannot fathom that#very sweet of u nonetheless#um#yeah#idk what i was saying#ily guys i just dont like my brain#🩵🩵#feel like i need to send this shit to a therapist LOL
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
amanhealthcare
Aman Health Care
todosobreghostrecon
Sin título
borisrodionovgfeld-blog
Без названия
pedsockonly
Pedsoxx