#im actually so proud of this ive never written this much

[snailvee]

Luis survives and escapes Spain with Leon. However, he isn’t exactly prepared to meet Chris Redfield.

As soon as Chris saw Leon, he walked towards him quickly and enveloped him in his arms. He was always worried about him on missions where they didn’t work together, and it was comforting to see him alive in the flesh. Leon hugged back, if not more hesitantly than usual. Maybe Chris was just imagining things.

As he pulled back, he noticed the man standing next to Leon. He had longer dark hair and, in Chris’s opinion, a rather ridiculous leather jacket.

“Ay Leon, you didn’t tell me tú tienes un novio! O un esposo perhaps?” The man said teasingly, knocking his shoulder into Leon’s.

Leon rolled his eyes and huffed, ignoring the comment.

“Luis, this is Chris. Chris, Luis. He’s the reason Ashley and I are alive.” Leon looked from Chris back to Luis, his fondness for him hidden under the guise of appreciation. The softer look didn’t go unnoticed by Chris, who narrowed his eyes slightly as he addressed Luis.

“Good to meet you. Thank you for helping Leon.” His thanks were honest, but there was still some suspicion in his words.

“Oh the pleasure is all mine, señor. Just glad we’re back in one piece.” Luis seemed to sense Chris’s distrust, and he definitely caught the frown that started to form on his face as he wrapped an arm around Leon.

“Yeah, of course.” Chris said hurriedly, drawing closer to Leon and putting a hand on his other shoulder, not-so-subtly trying to pull him away from Luis’s hold.

“Are you injured? Did the medical staff look you over already? Have you already gone in to recount the mission? Is there–”

“Chris. I’m okay. everything’s alright.” Leon placed a hand on Chris’s arm and smiled up at him reassuringly. 

Chris’s face softened and the adoration in his eyes was clear as day to Luis, who adopted a frown similar to the one Chris wore earlier before quickly shaking it off. He couldn’t let either of them know he was bothered by their closeness, how comfortable they were in each other’s presence.

“Well, do you have a place to crash?” Chris asked, doing his best to resist the urge to bring his hand from Leon’s shoulder to his face and brush the hair from his eyes.

“I mean I was just going to go to the apartment, but if you’re staying there too you and Luis can take the bedrooms and I’ll take the couch. No big deal.” Leon shrugged, then tilted his head a bit.

“It is okay if Luis stays there too right? I know it’s usually just a place for us to crash but I’d much rather have him with me there than send him off to a random hotel.” Leon glanced over at Luis, who quickly hid the remaining jealousy present on his face.

“That’s fine, but you’re taking a bed. You just got back, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.” Chris replied.

“Oh not to worry, no one will have to sleep on the couch! Sancho and I can just share a bed, yes?” Luis said, leaning even further into Leon’s side.

“I – we can figure out the sleeping situation when we get there. Let’s just go.” Leon muttered, ducking his head and slipping out of both Luis and Chris’s grasps. He started walking towards the parking garage, not looking back to see if the other two were following.

The second Leon was out of earshot, both men turned to each other slowly, Chris’s face was pinched in annoyance, while Luis tried to keep up his easy smile as he started to talk.

“He’s something else, isn’t he.” Luis said, eyes trailing back to Leon as he walked away.

“Yeah. I would know, we’ve been working together for years. And stop looking at his ass, you’re not subtle.” Chris was trying not to sound possessive but it wasn’t working out too well.

“Nothing wrong with looking, señor. But maybe I’d take you more seriously if you weren’t looking too.” Luis raised an eyebrow, looking back at Chris.

Chris huffed, not meeting his gaze. 

“Just don’t get too far ahead of yourself. Let’s go.” Chris all but glowered as he finally started following after Leon. 

Luis rolled his eyes and followed as well. He could tell the next few days were going to be interesting, especially if the three of them would be staying together in the same apartment. Even so, he was almost enticed by the lure of this newfound rivalry. Was it rather childish for them to be fighting over Leon, especially so passive aggressively so as not to upset him in the process? Probably. But it was also pretty fun, and Leon was definitely worth fighting for.

Eventually they all made it to the car and made the drive to the apartment in relative silence. Chris hopped out quickly, climbing the stairs and fishing his keys from his pocket. He unlocked the door, holding it open for Leon who smiled and rolled his eyes as he walked past. Chris let go of the door and slipped inside quickly, hearing a grunt as Luis caught the closing door with his hand. It was an extremely petty move, but it made Chris smile to himself as he followed Leon into the apartment.

It was small but still nice, just a place for Chris and Leon to stay between missions. They were never here for very long at a time and even less often here together, but it was still comforting to come back to. 

“I’m showering first, there’s blood in my hair and I smell like shit.” Leon said as he tugged off his boots and made his way to the bathroom. The door shut behind him and suddenly Chris and Luis were left alone together again.

Chris purposely ignored Luis in favor of snagging a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from one of the kitchen drawers and making his way to the small balcony. He lit one and held it to his lips, taking a drag and breathing out both smoke and a sigh of relief.

“Ah, you smoke too? Does Leon get on your case about it as well?” Luis’s voice came from beside him as he unceremoniously tugged the pack from Chris’s hand, pulling his own lighter out of his pocket.

“You know, the first thing I ever said to him was asking for a smoke. Nothing short of a miracle he didn’t leave me then and there, but I suppose I am just irresistible.” Luis said, grinning before lighting and taking a drag of his own cigarette.

Chris looked over at him, intended to make a witty remark before he saw the lighter Luis was twirling between his fingers. It was a small detail, but still more than enough to catch Chris’s attention – the symbol of Umbrella engraved into the metal.

Chris moved before he could even think, grabbing Luis’s arms to restrain him and pushing him against the balcony’s sliding door, already reaching for his knife with his other hand. Luis wasn’t weak by any means, but Chris had more muscle on him and his stab wound wasn’t fully healed, to say the least.

A cry of pain tore itself out of Luis’s mouth as he was knocked against the door, chest throbbing at the impact and hands twisted behind him in Chris’s grip.

“What the fuck?” He yelled, planting his feet and trying to keep his balance as the pain bolted through him.

“I should be asking you! Why the fuck does your lighter have the symbol of Umbrella?” Chris shouted, not loosening his hold at all as Luis struggled.

Before he could reply, a door slammed open and Leon came running towards the balcony with only a towel wrapped around his waist. There was fury in his eyes as he took in the situation, and fear behind that as he saw the pained look on Luis’s face.

“What the fuck are you doing Chris, get the hell off of him!” Leon yelled, coming closer to try and separate them himself.

“He’s with Umbrella Leon, get back!” Chris yelled back, tightening his grip even more.

“He’s not, just let go and I – we – can explain, you’re hurting him, stop!” Leon said, pushing Chris away and drawing Luis close to himself. Chris didn’t stop him, couldn’t bring himself to lay a hand on Leon despite the anger and fear coursing through him. Leon led Luis to the couch, gently sitting him down and pulling off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt to inspect his wound.

Chris didn’t move, standing shakily on the balcony with his hands balled into fists at his sides. He couldn’t process what he was seeing, Leon knelt in front of Luis, the enemy, tending to him and ignoring Chris, ignoring the danger at hand.

Leon seemed to sense Chris starting to open his mouth, because he turned towards him with a pleading look.

“I promise I’ll tell you everything, no one is in danger. Just – trust me. Please.” Leon said, voice getting softer and trailing off. A thousand thoughts and emotions seemed to pass behind Chris’s eyes but he did as he was told, sliding the balcony door closed behind him and taking a seat on the ground next to Leon, unable to fully shake off the feeling that Luis was going to hurt him.

“Mierda –” Luis cursed under his breath as Leon made sure the wound hadn’t reopened. Once he was satisfied with his inspection, he carefully buttoned up his shirt and turned to face Chris.

“Luis used to work for Umbrella, but he left as soon as he realized what his work was really being used for. They tricked him, made him think he was helping people. He didn’t know, Chris. It’s not his fault. He’s not with them.” Leon said softly, eyes never leaving Chris’s. 

Chris’s shoulders slumped and his eyes lowered, unable to keep Leon’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, I believe you, I was just so scared I moved before I could think and–” His throat constricted, stopping him from saying anything else.

“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I should have expected you both to start smoking the second I left, huh?” Leon cracked a wry smile, trying to ease the tension in the room.

Chris let out a strained chuckle and smiled back, nodding at Leon. The adrenaline was fading and he was now acutely aware of Leon’s state of undress, eyes wandering down over his chest before snapping back up to his face.

“I – I’m gonna go shower now.” Chris said, averting his eyes from Leon entirely and standing up quickly, fighting to keep the emotions off his face as he made his way to the bathroom. Leon’s expression morphed into one of surprise at Chris’s abrupt exit, but he tried not to dwell on it as he turned to Luis.

Luis had stayed silent during their exchange, both not wanting to interrupt them and afraid if he tried to speak everything would go wrong again. Leon’s words echoed in his head – “it’s not his fault.”

“Hey, are you alright?” Leon asked softly, hand moving to rest on Luis’s calf as he was still kneeling in front of him. Luis nodded mutely, still not trusting his mouth to not betray him.

“I’ll go grab bandages and we can redress your wound.” Leon said as he stood up, turning around and walking to the kitchen. Luis found himself staring at Leon again as he walked away, this time at the planes of his back and how his shoulders moved under his skin. After a moment, Luis dropped his head back against the couch and let out a long sigh as he listened to Leon footsteps.

He didn’t know if he could handle Leon’s hands on his chest again, let alone Leon kneeling down in front of him for a second time. He knew it wasn’t the time to be focusing on such things, but he couldn’t help himself. Besides, Chris hadn’t done much better. He’d barely tried to hide his gaze at Leon’s chest. Luis chuckled to himself thinking about what Chris might be up to in the shower right now.

“What’s so funny?” Leon said standing in front of him, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Luis hadn’t noticed him return, too preoccupied with his own thoughts.

“Oh nothing, Prince Charming. I’m lucky to have you here to patch me up.” he said, winking at Leon. 

Instead of laughing, Leon’s brow furrowed and he let his gaze drift to the side.

“I’m sorry he went after you like that. He was just scared. Umbrella’s caused him a lot of pain, he has his right to be angry. I’m sorry I didn’t clear things up soon enough. I could’ve prevented that.” Leon was angry at himself more than anything, he didn’t blame either of the others.

“Hey, don’t say that. I don’t think anyone was in the wrong here, no? Besides, we worked it out. Everything’s okay, cariño.” The word slipped from Luis’s mouth before he could process what he’d said. 

Leon didn’t mention it, sat down beside Luis on the couch. Luis thought he could see a light blush on his cheeks, but perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

“Not going to patch me up after all, then?” Luis asked, noting the lack of bandages as Leon sat down.

“Oh, well I figured you should probably shower before we put clean bandages on. I can help you take these ones off though.” Leon said, already leaning forward to start unbuttoning Luis’s shirt again. 

“Ah, so smart Sancho. Guess there’s some brains to go with that brawn after all.” Leon huffed out a laugh at the comment, not looking up from his task. 

“You didn’t think I was smart before? How rude.” Leon replied, but Luis was no longer listening. Chris had stepped out of the bathroom and was watching the two of them on the couch.

Luis hesitated only for a second before deciding what to do. Maybe it was petty, but he felt like he deserved to be a little petty after his earlier scuffle with Chris. So he reached his hand up to cup Leon’s cheek, tilting his face up to meet his gaze.

“Gracias, hermoso. You’re so good to me.” Luis said, soft enough to be tender while still loud enough from Chris to hear. Before he could even look up to gauge his reaction, he heard heavy footsteps stomping away from the living room.

Leon took the chance to break eye contact between them, turning as he heard the sound. Luis could definitely see him blushing this time, and he smiled to himself. 

“Suppose the shower’s free now.” Leon said, getting up from the couch. He flashed a smile at Luis before heading into the kitchen to throw the old bandages away.

Luis smiled back, picking himself up and making his way to the bathroom. He couldn’t help but feel a little proud of the reactions he’d gotten from both Leon and Chris.

Once Luis had closed the door behind him, Leon let out a small sigh of relief. Nothing had gone how he’d planned today, but things were okay now for the most part. All he really wanted to do now was sleep. He started walking to the couch before remembering Chris’s words from earlier. He knew he was serious about not letting him sleep on the couch, so he turned and headed to one of the bedrooms instead.

As he came through the door, he spotted Chris sitting on the bed staring out the window. Leon walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, causing Chris to jump slightly before looking up and seeing that it was him. 

“Sorry to surprise you, but not everyone has shit stealth like you y’know.”  Leon said, the beginnings of a smile on his lips. Chris relaxed as he looked up at him, smiling back and rolling his eyes.

“Hey, why so mean?.” Chris replied with a smile of his own, scooting over to give Leon room to sit down on the bed.

His face fell a little bit as he glanced away from Leon.

“I’m really sorry, I just freaked out when I saw it. Couldn’t think, wasn’t even really aware of what I was doing until I already had my hands on him.” Chris said softly.

“I know, I know. I don’t blame you and I doubt Luis does either. We worked it out, didn’t we?” Leon said, parroting what Luis had told him earlier. 

The image of Luis cupping Leon’s face in his hand flashed in front of Chris’s eyes, but he tried not to show his frustration.

“Yeah, yeah we did.” He said, looking back at Leon.

“I’m glad you’re here. Not just glad you’re back, I mean I am, but glad you’re here. With me. I – I missed you.” Chris admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

“I missed you too.” Leon replied, his hand finding Chris’s and giving it a small squeeze. “Let’s get some rest now, yeah? I’ll take a bed, don’t worry” Leon said before Chris could interject. He squeezed his hand one more time before standing up and walking away into the other bedroom.

Leon was out nearly the second his head hit the pillow, barely pulling the covers over himself before he was unconscious. He drifted off thinking about Luis’s hand on his face and Chris’s hand holding his, and hoped his sleep would be nightmare free.

[girl-bateman]

Write at a café. Don't apply for jobs. Forget to eat lunch because youre busy writing. Go to work while still thinking about your writing. Eat a proteinbar to keep your blood sugar from going crazy. Be miserable at work. Return home while thinking about how writing is a waste of time and that you’ll never get published anyway so whats the point. Cry because you hate your work and dont want to go back. Make dinner. Write some more. Watch an episode of the L word. Go to sleep and stay up fantasising about being a famous author who is widely criticised for their mediocre writing style and problematic themes. Fall asleep and have nightmares about your writing.

Repeat.

[81folklore]

robin - CL16

pairings charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader (fc: gigi hadid + pinterest)

summary fans get a look at charles’ family

warnings a baby + pregnancy (the baby is the entire plot point and one pregnancy mention) poorly translated french, some taylor swift songs are used as readers songs. HUGE TIMESKIPS (sorry lol)

notes we are BACK!! for the time being at least,, sorry for being gone again😣 also im using gigi again because i had this one specific photo in mind of her pregnant!!

notes 2 kind of short but i want to try and gain some more motivation buuuut in my absence from writing ive created a rec blog so i can show you all my favorite works by all the incredible writers on here! @81folklore-library

masterlist

yourusername • may 2020

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 1,283,693 others

(im)patiently waiting to meet you tiger 🐯🩵

view comments

charles_leclerc you are glowing mama🌟

yourusername charlie🥹

lewishamilton cant wait to meet the little one, you’re doing amazing yn!

yourusername thank you lewis💜

user44 you are gorgeous omg

user23 i can’t believe charles is going to be a dad soon

user2 it feels like its flown by

user17 i love that they call their baby tiger☹️

user6 me too!! i hope it sticks as a nickname

arthur_leclerc lunch again soon?

yourusername of course art! let me know when🤍

yourusername • january 2021

liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl and 3,930,519 others

our little tiger blessed our lives a few months ago and we couldnt feel more overjoyed to have her. we want to thank those around us for their continued support during our first months of parenthood

tiger, we cant wait you grow into a beautiful young girl and we are already so proud of you🐯🩵

tagged charles_leclerc

view comments

charles_leclerc so happy i get to be a dad with you🩵

charles_leclerc i love you so much im so proud of you

yourusername i love you charlie, thank you for everything

lorenzotl toi et charlie êtes de merveilleux parents 🩷🩷 (translation you and charlie are wonderful parents)

yourusername merci! revenez bientôt, vous êtes toujours le bienvenu! (translation thank you! come back soon, you are always welcome!

user55 theyre parents🥹🥹

user80 oh im sobbing this is so lovely😭😭

user17 they still call her tiger☹️☹️

user49 im confused is that the babies name?

user17 no they just call her tiger in public, we dont know her name! they started calling her tiger when they found out they were going to be parents and it seems to have stuck!!

liked by yourusername

user32 i was listening to never grow up when i saw this post🥹🥹

user47 congratulations guys!!

yourusername • september 2024

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 5,291,649 others

happy birthday little tiger, it has been a joy to watch you grow into the wonderful girl that you are (please stop mama cant handle you getting bigger🥹)

you are so incredibly loved and i hope you feel that every day, i hope you have a wonderful day today and everyday baby!

happy birthday love mama and papa🐯🩵

view comments

charles_leclerc happy birthday angel, we love you🐯

olliebearman happy birthday tiger!!

yourusername see you soon darling🩷

lewishamilton i can’t believe she is already four🥹💜

yourusername time really flies by🥹

user67 SHES SO BIG NOW😭

user5 right?! i remember when yn posted her on charles back☹️

user52 these pictures are so cute oh my god😭😭☹️☹️

user60 actually my favorite family ever🥹

user21 i feel so emotional knowing ive watched this family grow

user19 is anyone else sad charles hasnt posted the annual story?

user37 theres no way he just stops,, she has so many more songs☹️

user66 wait im new what are we talking about?

user37 because charles and yn write the birthday captions together, charles started posting a picture of tiger with a song yn has written about children or babies etc (example: last year it was never grow up!) and she has so many more songs that would fit but he hasnt made one this year :(

yourusername & charles_leclerc • september 2024

liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly and 6,280,740 others

tiger its your birthday surprise; Robin out now🐯

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername📌 ps robin is not tigers name🩵

charles_leclerc thank you for letting me on a song🫶

yourusername always baby

charles_leclerc we love you tiger🐯

charles_leclerc added to their story

[song used: Robin by yn text: way to go tiger🐯🩵]

seen by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,279,940 others

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twitter

[redr0sewrites]

some of my fav fic writers !

🥀 hi everyone!!!! i wanted to make something to show appreciation to some of my fav fic writers on here, bc as a writer myself, ive been noticing a tremendous amount of negativity and lack of interaction on fics recently. i'll probably update this list as i continue writing and existing here on Tumblr, and i'll attach it to my pinned post so people can view it whenever. its so disheartening and sad that fics aren't getting as many reblogs and interactions as they used to, and i just wanted to say that im so so proud of all of u and ur all wonderful writers!! i hope this list makes u happy, and i also hope this encourages some of my own followers to go check these people out!!

@bigfatbimbo - aaaa where do i even begin!!!! Ellie, your def one of my fav mutuals, and everything you write is always amazing!!! i love your recent gravity falls fics, along with your old hazbin fics and everything else you've written. i love the vocabulary you use in your fics, your writing style in general is actually amazing. you always make the reader so relatable, and your one of my fav dom!reader blogs!! i absolutely adore interacting with you on here, and im so so happy we became mutuals. your also incredibly funny, and your upbeat attitude always makes me happy!

@peachdues - you are so lovely and sweet!!! your genuinely so mature, and its so refreshing seeing your posts on my dash. you always have great takes, and your fics are fantastic. i love seeing all of your sneak peeks and intros to fics, and i love how much effort you put into everything you write. genuinely, you are so talented, and ive been reading ur fics since the first chapter of Into The Netherwood. your Sanemi fics in general are fantastic, and you are so talented!!

@flametrashira - FLAMEY!!!! you are another one of my favorite mutuals, and i love how much you love writing. you always seem so upbeat talking about your favorite characters, and it makes me smile whenever i see you talking about your favs on my dash. your fics and headcanons are fantastic, and i love pretty much everything you've written in all of your fandoms. seriously, you're actually so funny and sweet and you're writing is phenomenal. your always so kind and encouraging, and i love how polite and respectful you are on here.

@sniigura - AAAAA!!!! YOU ARE SO COOL!!!!! genuinely, i love seeing your fics. i am constantly thinking about collage au adam, and i love seeing your adam headcanons on my dash. never stop being you!!! seriously, i am still thinking about those siren!reader x marine biologist! adam hcs from WEEEKS ago. your writing is literally addictive, and you turned me into an even bigger adam fan then i already was. your literally so funny and i love everything you write. i love the internal monologue you include for the reader, and i genuinely relate to your reader sm! i love how much effort you put into characterization and writing as a whole, and im constantly looking forward to seeing you on my dash

@mostly-imagines - you are sooooo talented!!! everything you post has me giggling, you were one of the first Jason Todd fic writers i followed and i adore every single one of your fics. your so talented, and your fics manage to invoke so many emotions and visualizations for me. i love how descriptive your writing is, your writing style is so unique and so beautiful. i consistently find myself rereading your fics because they are some of the best i've ever read. your angst is heart wrenching, your smut is delicious, and your fluff is adorable!!! seriously never stop, your writing is amazing and you deserve the wrold!!!

@vampcubus - ive been following you for sooo long, and literally everything you write is fantastic. genuinely, you produce banger after banger and i love your writing style so much. your smut is actually so good, and its so rare to find a dom!reader blog on here. i literally devour every single one of your posts, and i love reading your fics and headcanons!!! you genuinely seem so cool, and your blog theme is AMAZINGG. i love how much effort you put into the visuals of your fics, and overall, you just seem so talented and creative.

@purple-obsidian - oh my goodness, you're literally so cool. i love your Jason Todd fics an unhealthy amount, i've been OBSESSED with Say it Back foreverrrrrr. you're actually so talented, and your writing is so descriptive it makes me go crazy!!!! i adore the way you write smut too, theres so much feeling behind it and i relate to your reader so much. you were one of the first DC writers i followed, and i love everything you write. genuinely, you are so talented. i reread all of your Arkham knight fics a lot, and i seriously admire you

@killakalx - you're literally soo talented it makes me go CRAZZYYYY- i love your fics and headcanons so much i start tweaking whenever you post something new. your dick grayson fics are fantastic, bsf!dick is literally always on my mind- same with your pheremone oil fic w jason todd, like i genuinely think about that 3-4 times per day like seriously reading it changed my brain chemistry. your writing style is soooo good, and i love everything you post. you seem so funny and chill, and i just love your blog so much!!! you are an inspiration, and i love seeing you on my dash !!!

@sanguineterrain - your fics have me DROOLING like actually you write so good- i love your interpretation of virgin!Jason and everything you write has me SCREAMINGGG. i love seeing you on my dash, and i swear every one of your Jason posts make my day. your so relatable and cool, and i scroll through your blog on the daily. everything you post is so entertaining, and i love your writing style in general!!!!

@hoodzgyal - everything you write is PHENOMENAL im not even kidding. from virgin!jason to college!dick, i adore everything you write. seeing you appear on my dash is like a holiday, and i literally adore your smut. your so talented, and your mommy kink!jason hcs actually make me go CRAZZYYY i think about them constantly!!! you have such a chill and sweet demeanor on your blog, and it's really uplifting to see on my dash. i love everything you post, and i also LOVE your theme!!! the red is genuinely so pretty and it's one of my favs. all in all, you seem soo cool, and your fics are amazing!!!!

@jasontoddproblems - i am like platonically in love with you and everything you write. your Longest Night series is actually FANTASTIC, i reread it often, and it makes me go crazy every time. the way you write Jason is actually so amazing, and i eat it up every time. i also adore your most recent fic, about Red Hood falling asleep next to you, and URGRHRHRH ITS SO CUTE. i genuinely love the reveal, and how cute and fluffy it is. i love your fics so so so much, and everything you post makes me happy. you seem so sweet and kind, and i just love seeing you on my feed!!! as a fellow jason todd enjoyer, i love your fics an unhealthy amount.

@hanasnx - you are actually so cool AND i love your theme so much its so unique!!!! from star wars to DC, literally everything you write is amazing. i LOVE your anakin skywalker and han solo fics, along with all of your jason todd, dick grayson fics, and terry mcginnis fics. your headcanons are amazingg and i actually adore your writing style. i seriously struggle to find anyone else who writes terry as well as you do, and i LOVE how you write for the batboys as well. your smut is delicious, and i seriously love seeing you on my dash. you also have some really good takes outside of writing, and i agree with you a lot as a person. you just seem like such a talented writer, and i fucking love everything you post!!!!

@uc1wa - your frat!dick hits so hard- like SERIOUSLYYY you have one of the best interpretations of him i've seen and its sooo yummy. i love your writing and headcanons so much, i actually love the way you write smut. your writing style is so descriptive, and the way you write dialogue is actually delicious. your DC fics are to die for, and i find myself scrolling through your blog a LOT lmao. seriously never stop, you are so talented and i love everything you write!!!

@chikaras-garden - you are soo aaaaaaa!!!! i love love LOVE the way you write beyond!damian, seriously those are some of my favorite fics of all time. your on eof the few fic authors i know who write for him, and your literally so good at it!!!!!!! i eat it up every single time, you are SO talented!!!! i also adore the way you write Dick and Jason, you characterize them so well and your fics are always sooo yummy. i love seeing you on my dash, literally all of your fics and thirsts are fantastic

@dayasusays - your smut fics are literally FANTASTIC- seriously, the way you incorporate dialogue is so great, and i love love LOVEEE your dick grayson fics. your welcome back fic is SO bittersweet, but also so delicious at the same time. the way you use emotions and descriptions within your writing is fantastic, and your vocabulary is so good too. your fics are all so unique, and i love your headcanons too!!!! i love all of your husband!bruce wayne hcs, they're actually soooo yummy!!!! all in all, your fics are AMAZING and i would reread your entire masterlist everyday if i could.

@ivysangel - i love your blog SOOO much its uncanny- your frat!hcs are literally my fav of all time. i think about them 24/7, 365 days a year. everything you write is SO good, like seriouslyyyyyyy i adore it. i LOVEEEEEEEEEE everything you write for dick grayson, you characterize him SO well and it makes me go crazy every single time- same for jason todd, overall you are so so talented and your fics are amazing- same with your headcanons!!! your blog is so pretty and you seem so sweet, i just love seeing you on my dash!!

@martiniluvr - you were the first DC fic blog i ever followed, and your fics are SO good- you inspired me to write for DC in the first place, and literally EVERYTHINGGG you post is actually fantastic. i fucking LOOOVE your dick grayson and jason todd nsfw alphabet, and literally everything you post is to die for. i love your DC batboys hcs in general, and your most recent fantasize hcs post?? AAHEHSJSHSJDH i was SCREAMINGG- seriously you are so so so talented and i LOVE your characterization. i also adore the way you write Bruce, and seeing you on my dash is like a wish come true.

@archangeldyke-all - ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV MUTUALS!!! i love love LOVE all of your sevika fics, she is criminally underrated and the love of my life. we seriously need more wlw fanfic blogs on here, and your definitely one of my favs. i LOVE your fic about cockwarming sevika, i think about it OFTEN and urgrhrhrh shes just sooo pretty. i love everything you write and i devour it everytime- seriously, never stop!!!!! i do not see enough sevika x reader on here, and i love how much you write for her. seeing you on my dash makes me sosososos happy, and i just love how energetic and sweet you seem!!!!

this took so long aaa- but it was worth it!!!! i will be updating this as i go, and i am so so sooo sorry if i forgot anyone!!!! anyways, i hope this made some people happy, i know it made me happy!!!!! if you aren't a fic writer and are just reading this for fun, pls check these writers out!!! remember to reblog and send your fellow fic writers some love, they deserve it!!!!

[andkisses]

♡ roman holiday | sunghoon ♡

will this bucket list trip be the thing that finally forces you to face your feelings? or will it be the thing that tears the two of you apart for good?

♡ sunghoon x gn!reader | wc. 9.4k ♡ genres/tropes: childhood friends to lovers and the fluff and angst that comes with it, college!au (not obvious but implied), road trips ♡ mentions of/warnings: arguments, references to a toxic family environment, allusions to drowning, i think that’s all but lmk if there’s smth else that needs added! ♡ a/n: this has been a wip for SOO long we’re talking YEARS and has changed muses several times but i finally sat down to finish this and im so proud of what i managed <3 truly some of my favorite things ive ever written ! inspired by roman holiday by halsey! this is also the longest thing i think i have ever written <3

♡ masterlist ♡

The coffee ring on the counter stares back at you, warm brown against a stark egg white. You can’t tell if it’s old or new, and part of you doesn’t care. Another part wants to know, though, when the coffee stain was made and why it was never cleaned. The motel is practically empty, the older lady behind the front desk and a tired-looking family in the corner of the dining room are the only other inhabitants.

Through the windows, dressed quaintly with homesewn drapes, you see the tall mountain trees, dark green and prickly, stretching up to the crystal blue sky. The television across the room is set to the weather station, and the anchor talks about how a cold front could potentially lead to an early snow. 

A tray with various breakfast items clunks against the table, and the boy you’ve been traveling with settles in across from you, faux leather chair seat squeaking beneath in subtle “I’m hardly ever used” protest. His dark hair falls into his eyes messily, as if he only just now got up and rolled out of bed. The red flannel and vest he wears matches the surroundings, but looks absurd on your best friend.

“Sunghoon,” you start, interlacing your fingers and resting your chin on the bridge they form. Your eyes scan the tray, accounting each and every tiny portion of food. Eggs, both scrambled and hard boiled, some toast with an assortment of little jam containers, a little bowl of butter, two pancakes, half a waffle, and a few strips of bacon. “Thank you for getting everything,” you continue, leveling a stare over the top of your nose, “but you forgot the syrup.”

The boy in front of you blinks, bites his lips, and nods his head. A soft yeah, I forgot the syrup escapes his lips as he slides out of his chair, the pleather squeaking once again. “Give me like two minutes,” he says, “the breakfast bar is crazy to navigate. Do you see the things I do for you?” His smile is teasing.

“It’s no problem, Hoon—” Your voice trails off as he jogs off into the distance. You shake your head, feeling lethargic and sleepy beneath the slow-turning ceiling fan. Your gaze follows its metallic clink, and the fan seems as if it’s never been replaced in the 50-something years this establishment has operated.

You’re brought back down by a small tug on your sleeve, and when you look, it’s the little girl from the tired family across the room. She blinks up at you, not much unlike Sunghoon, innocent and full of curiosity. You nod your head, encouraging her to talk. The little girl takes a big gulp of air, dual pigtails bobbing, before, “I think your boyfriend is very nice and I like how he gets you your breakfast.”

The laugh that leaves you is easy, the statement hardly shocking at all. You’re used to it, strangers and acquaintances alike assuming the relationship status between the two of you. It’s nothing new. The little girl’s face is confused, her head listing to one side. You nod again, swallowing any additional laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, and you see a little bit of the light in her eyes diminish. “We’re just really good friends. He’s my best friend, actually.”

The girl’s brows furrowed together, a small pout forming on her lips. Obviously not the answer she was expecting. Then she nods, lips pursed. “Yeah, okay,” she mutters, seeming confused. Before she turns to walk back to her family, she looks back up and adds, “He’s a good friend. I would keep him as my friend for a long time.”

“That’s what I intend on doing, kiddo.” Your voice is quiet as the little girl skips back across the old, faded carpet towards her family. You see Sunghoon emerge from the breakfast bar, where everyone else at this motel must be. He waves small packets of syrup in the air. The smile that flits across your face is fleeting. You try to ignore, again, this feeling in your chest. Your voice is small, talking to yourself. “For as long as possible.”

***

The candy-colored Valentine stared back at you, practically mocking you. Third grade and only one Valentine. You tried to fight back the tears, attempted to sniff them back inside, but nothing worked. They fell, one by one, onto the homemade card, soaking through the pink construction paper and leaving roundly-shaped wet splotches across your only card.

You read the simple message, “Happy Valentine’s! – Sunghoon”, over and over and over again. You racked your brain, trying to figure out why, why, why no one else gave you a card. You were nice, you offered to help them when they needed it. It seemed like everyone liked you. They even let you sit by them at lunch.

So why?

The hand on your shoulder startled you, your head whipping up to face the figure standing beside the desk. It was Sunghoon, the boy who gave you the only Valentine in your possession. The edges of his dark hair curled around his eyebrows and the corners of his eyes. His brow scrunched with worry, and he ducked down to see your face.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head, a bitter pout filling out your lips. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

Sunghoon shrugged, removing his hand to pull out the seat beside you. “I guess not.” He pursed his lips, hands clasped in his lap, before looking back at you. “What’s the matter?”

You flung the single Valentine—his own Valentine—back at him. The construction paper flew through the air before catching, floating down to land on the table by Sunghoon, who deftly picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

“It’s the only one you got?”

You nodded, crossing your arms on your desk and sinking into them. A heavy sigh left your chest and you sniffled, trying to keep the angry tears from falling again. You wished the day would end; that the bell would ring and release you so you could go home and cry somewhere comfier instead.

There was silence, then, “Does it matter if you only got one?”

You scoffed, still hidden in your arms. “Uh, duh? It means no one in this class likes me.”

“Then… why does it matter if everyone else doesn’t like you? Shouldn’t one person liking you be okay?”

You bit your lip. You can’t tell if you like his thinking or not. You decided not to respond.

You heard the chair scrape against the wood floor beside you, and you figured it was Sunghoon leaving to return to the other students. That was fine, you figured. It’s what you should expect, anyway. Even if he was the only one who gave you a Valentine, it was probably only because he gave the whole class Valentine’s. What a guy.

Then the chair was drug against the floor again, much closer this time. You popped your head up, a scowl still on your face, to see what was happening. Sunghoon had scooted it closer, and in his hands was another Valentine. You watched as he flipped the card over to the decorated side and skillfully pulled off the foam heart-shaped sticker, as if he’d had to do this thousands of times before.

His question is one you didn’t expect. “Where do you want to go?”

You look up at him, incredulous. “What do you mean?”

“Well, if you don’t have many friends here, you must want to be somewhere else?” Sunghoon shrugged, as if the thought made perfect sense to him. “Right?”

You pursed your lips, mimicking his shrug. “I guess you’re right...”

“Then,” Sunghoon began again, “where do you want to go?”

“Uhm, my house?” you answered. Crying on your fluffy bed would be much more comfortable than crying on this hard desk. Your arms were sore from resting on the edge and your back was stiff from the awkward angle.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No, think bigger. Like, vacation places and stuff.”

“Hmm... then, maybe, the big cities? The ones you always see in TV shows. And... the beach, because the ocean is really nice.”

Sunghoon nodded, diligently taking note of every place you suggested. His handwriting is a little crooked, but it fit on the now vacant front of a Valentine’s card. He looked up at you, eyes wide with question. “Anywhere else?”

You frowned, deep in thought. Then, as if someone tapped you on the shoulder and whispered it in your ear, an idea sprung to mind. “A really tall mountain, where it’s snowy all the time. No matter the season”

The pencil lead pulled across the paper, leaving information behind. Sunghoon returned to the top of the page, tapping the pencil’s eraser on the side of his cheek before scribbling a final note down. “There! It’s finished!” He slid it over in front of you.

You read the title of the list aloud: “The Wanderlist? But that isn’t even a word.”

Sunghoon shook his head. “It is now.” He leaned over, pointing at all the places you had stated. “And that’s everywhere we’re gonna go, because I’m your best friend now. We won’t be lonely, because we have each other. And we’re gonna travel all over.”

You sat up, leveling him a stare. “Well, this is gonna be expensive, you know. Trips aren’t free. They cost a lot.”

Sunghoon smiled, the kind that, even for a tin moment, makes everything seem like it’s possible. “Then we better start saving now!”

 ***

The pink paper stares up at you from its place on the dashboard, stuck with a random sticker right next to the air vent. The edges had aged, curling and warping, and your tear stains from 3rd grade are still faintly visible. You read over the list—your wanderlist, as Sunghoon had named it all those years ago.

1. Big cities (because TV) x2!!

2. The beach (because cool ocean)

3. Tall mountain (because always snow)

The big city had been marked off in 6th grade, when the class had a trip to the modern art museum, and again in 8th grade for a series of school-wide competitions, from writing and art to band to mathematics and science. Sunghoon had excelled at creative writing while you swept the math category for your region.

The beach was crossed off the day before the two of you left for college. How bitter it was that you had to be separated, together for ten years only to be settled in two different places. Yes, you weren’t that far away. A half day’s drive. But you both knew, deep down, how likely seeing each other was.

So you did something about it. The day before, you woke up before the sun. You loaded his car up with everything you would need for a daytrip, and you took off for the coast. You spent the whole day, afternoon, and evening parked at a spot on the beach. If you think about it now, you can still smell the seabreeze, imagine it in your hair. You can hear Sunghoon’s laugh, about what, you can’t remember. You do remember how happy you both were.

You remember sitting side by side, sharing a blanket over your shoulders as the seabreeze grew colder, watching the sun disappear on the horizon. You remember the thoughts you had–the ones you normally stamped down and annoyed. You should tell him. You’d been so close before. You wouldn’t even say the word to yourself, but you knew.

You didn’t say anything

“Can you believe these clouds?” Sunghoon says, slipping into the driver's seat and shutting the door. He places his keys into the ignition and turns like he always had. You watch the keychain you got him freshman year of high school swing from momentum. When you look back up, Sunghoon is watching you, leaning one elbow on the center console, hair in his eyes. “I suppose even the weather believes my sunny disposition is more than enough.”

“Oh, please,” you scoff, smacking his shoulder. You turn to look out the window, biting your lip. You’ve got to get it together. You blame that little girl from breakfast. You’d been doing just fine not thinking about Sunghoon in That Way. Now here you were, all these stupid feelings drummed up.

It doesn’t help that Sunghoon pulls out a cassette–MT-PSH-5–and pops it into the player. His smile grows wide as he turns out of the parking lot and onto the road, heading further up the mountain. “Nothing like some classic tunes.”

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

Sneaking out late, hot summer heat still sticky and oppressing. You could feel the waves rise up from the concrete as it finally felt relief in the moonlight. You’d felt like dressing up, sneaking into your mother’s room and applying her fancy department store perfume to the nape of your neck. Your fingers gracefully found her pearls in the glass bowl on the dresser as you left, and you pulled them over your head, letting them rest against your collar bone. They’re still cool against your hot skin.

You escaped through the back patio, walking past the fist-sized hole in the drywall you wished you could forget about. The dusty edges kept raining down debris if someone walked too close to it. You let yourself out the gate in the fence, pulling it shut behind you. You felt for the keys to the front door in your pocket, and they jingled in response. You clasped your hand around the cool metal, the cuts sharp and edgy beneath your palm.

He met you at the corner of his street and yours, his dark hair swallowing up the soft moonlight. It made his features seem younger, softer. It felt like you were kids again.

You fell in line beside each other, walking the empty streets without fear. Who was to stop some teenagers walking the street at midnight? Random cars passed by, people finally returning home from the late shift but paying no mind to you two. And that was fine; you didn’t want them to care.

The black gates around the community pool glinted in the yellow streetlights, reaching out to you like a beacon. The closer you drew, the more the overwhelming scent of chlorine filled the air. You walked forward, hands in your jacket pockets, one wrapped tightly around your house keys. You took a deep, steadying breath. This was fine. You had this.

“Hey, [Y/N], do we really have to do this?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hands from your pockets and grabbing the top of the fence. You’d have to pull yourself up, and be extra careful of the metal pickets at the top. It’d be tough, but you could make it. “What?” you snapped back lightly, voice echoing amongst the night. “Scared of hopping the fence?”

“No, that’d be ridiculous,” Sunghoon replied, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to rest on one foot. “Jumping fences is nothing for me. Jumping fences into property that—” he pointed to a white and red sign just beside your knees. “—considers jumping fences into property after hours as illegal and trespassing? That sets me on edge.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes again. “It’s not like they’ve got police roaming around or anything, and the owner’s too cheap for security cameras. I’m sure if we tried hard enough, we could just pull the fence down instead of having to jump it.” For emphasis, you grabbed hold of the rods and shook. A loud metallic echo escaped into the night, and before you could pull back and shake a third time, Sunghoon had dashed to your side, placing his hands on yours to stop you.

His brown eyes caught the light as he shook his head back and forth and hissed, “If you’re going to do something illegal, do it quietly! Especially when I’m here.”

You leaned forward, head inching towards his, with a scowl on your face. “Then shut up and hop the fence.” You drew back, replacing your hands at the top and pulled yourself up and over with ease. Maybe mandatory PE did have benefits.. Your sneakers landed on the pavement, and when you stood upright from the landing, you stared at Sunghoon through the bars. “You can either join me,” you began, a smirk on your face, chin tilted up, “or you could just wait while I go and find my car keys.”

You turned on your heels, walking towards the lifeguard’s shack. You could have sworn the sigh you heard was strong enough to blow the fence down altogether

Your shoes scuffed against the concrete, and you felt the humid air of the pool spill over and try to reach out to you. Its arms clung and bit at your ankles as the water inside sloshed around with the teasing wind. You shook them off, changing course from the pool’s edge to the guard’s shack. The padlock on the door seemed old—really old—and you crossed your fingers before giving a giant tug and having it pop open in your hands.

The wooden door swung open and you stepped inside the dingy shack. Various lost pool toys littered the floor, and a box of deflated tricolor beach balls appeared to have seen better days. But you weren’t interested in any of that: you needed your car keys. Above you, nestled nearly at the top of the peaked roof was a loft filled with white plastic bins. One of them, you noted, was closer to the edge than the others, as if someone had lazily swung it up there.

You crossed your fingers again, reaching up to pull the basket down to you. “Please be there, please be there, please be there,” you chanted under your breath. You peered into the basket. On top, someone’s embroidered handkerchief. You pinched the soft material between your finger and thumb before tossing it aside in the basket. Someone’s crazy straw, two Rubik’s Cubes, a school ID lanyard, and—yes!

You fished your car keys out with one hand and swung the basket back up into the loft with the other. You turned to leave, ready to find Sunghoon, reunite with your car, and drive home, but before you can even take a single step back out you’ve run into something.

Or someone.

Your scream’s instantly shushed by your best friend, a single finger coming up against your lips. Sunghoon was so close, and you felt the pool humidity roll off his shoulders as he looked at you with confusion. “Are you done?” he asked. “And why are you screaming?”

You shook your head, holding up your keys. “Yes. Also, you scared me. How did you get in here? I didn’t think you’d hop the fence.”

“Didn’t have to.” Sunghoon held up a matching padlock to the one you’d pulled off outside. “Looks like the owner’s too cheap to buy actual locks for his gates. I simply walked in.”

You left the lifeguard’s shack, replacing the lock and headed for the entrance, where Sunghoon easily swung open the wrought iron gate. You walked towards your car as Sunghoon redid the lock, simply looping it through and clicking it shut.

You kissed your car keys and unlocked the doors, swinging down into the driver’s seat. Sunghoon slid into the passenger seat beside you, and as soon as his door shut, the engine was starting and you were pulling out of the parking spot.

“Let a guy put on his seatbelt first?” Sunghoon joked as he clicked his into place. “I don’t see you wearing yours, [Y/N].”

“Then you’re not looking close enough,” you replied, taking one hand off the wheel to pull at your own seatbelt. “Seems as if someone isn’t paying attention.”

“Forgive me, I was busy making sure no one saw our illegal activity. I would like to graduate high school next year with a clean record.”

You laughed something similar to a scoff as you flicked on your turn signal and made your way down his street. “You say that as if we robbed a bank. Is it really trespassing if the locks don’t even work? The wind could have undone them.” You turned to catch a glance at your friend, and what you caught was a judgmental glare in the green glow of the dashboard.

With a simple curve of the steering wheel, you pulled in front of his house. You shifted the car in park and rotated towards the passenger seat. “Thanks for breaking the law with me, Sunghoon. It means a lot. I’m touched.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He leaned towards the door, making as if to pull the handle and open it, when he reached inside his pocket. His eyes lit up and he turned back towards you. “Oh, yeah!”

You shook your head, confused. You hold a single hand up. “Oh, yeah, what?”

“Here’s that mixtape you wanted,” Sunghoon answers, placing a cassette tape in your unintentionally outstretched hand. You scowled. You didn’t know how he had the technology to make a cassette in this day and age, but then again, you were the one with a car so old it still had a cassette player. You two were a pair, you supposed.

“When did you finish it?” you asked, spinning it around in your hands. The clear, Sharpie handwriting read MT-PSH-5 on the short white label.

“This morning,” he replied, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Why didn’t you give it to me earlier, then?” You turn to look at him. The yellow glow of the streetlights blend in with the green of the dashboard lights. His eyes remained that entrancing brown color, though. Romantic and homey all at once, untouchable by any other shade.

Sunghoon shrugged. “Perhaps it was because you didn’t have a car to play it in when I finished it? It was unavailable to you, shall we say.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You kept turning the cassette in your hands, as if you’d find something new and exciting on each turn.

“Oh, and—” Sunghoon leaned across the center console, reaching to take the tape from your hands, like he had something to say or show you. But he stopped. His brows furrowed together, and he turned to you, face mere inches from your own. “Are you wearing perfume?”

You nodded. “Yeah. My mom’s, and I got mad at her since she got mad at me about the car so I...”

An eyebrow quirked up. “You’re showing your mom up by stealing some of her perfume?”

“It’s expensive,” you muttered, sliding down into your seat. “She’ll have to pay for it later. Literally.”

And with that, he laughed. Nice and hearty and his eyes turned into tiny crescent moons and you felt your heart flutter—something that had happened a lot as of late, and you’re not entirely sure why. Yes, Sunghoon was a good friend. A best friend. But that’s all he was. He—

“Hey.” Your attention snapped from a distance spot on the road over to him, and he felt even closer now for some reason. Your heart registered how soft he’d spoken and proceeded to beat faster because of it. His eyes searched yours, but for what you don’t know. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Make sure you get home safe, okay? Wouldn’t want anything happening to the city’s greatest delinquent.”

“Yeah,” you laughed, but it was short and stilted. You barely heard what he said over the thumping of your own blood in your ears. You felt the red flush creep up your neck, dusting your cheeks and turning your ears a cherry color. When you swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry, all you could think about was how loud it seemed. Your grip on the mixtape tightened, it seemingly the only thing tethering you to the real world.

You couldn’t tell if the radio was one or not or whether you’d turned car off and left the keys in the ignition. All you could tell was Sunghoon, so close and so real he almost seemed unreal. And then it happened. He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut before placing a soft kiss on the side of your cheek, right next to your lips. It happened too fast and it was the slowest moment of your life all at once. Your heart was practically screaming now, hands rattling around the mixtape.

When he pulled back, he kept going, opening the car door and stepping out. Before closing it, he leaned in and nodded. “I meant what I said about getting back safely. Promise?”

You nodded. “I promise.” You were surprised your voice worked at all. That you were able to form a coherent, albeit a simplistic, sentence. That you could think at all. The door swung shut and you shifted the car into drive.

The whole way home felt automatic, limbs working separate from your internal instructions. When you returned home, you pulled up beside your mailbox and turned the car off, pulling the keys and letting them rest in your hand. You sat motionless, seatbelt still in place, as you stared, eyes fixated at someone mindless spot on the dashboard. The pearls were cool against your heated skin.

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

You flip the mixtape over in your hands, reading the slightly-faded yet still legible handwriting. MT-HVC-5. You’d run through the songs already, and Sunghoon had switched to some CD mixes he had brought. Why he didn’t get a car with Bluetooth, something you’d done a while ago, you’d never know. Maybe that was part of his charm. 

You’d managed to learn to forget about that kiss, or at least ignore it. But Sunghoon pulling out the mixtape he’d given you that night pulls it back up to the surface. You aren’t even sure how it even got into his possession. The longer you recall the memory, the more you can feel the burn on your cheek from where his warm lips touched your skin. The rest of the flush comes back from how you wish so badly it would happen again.

  “What’s up?”

“Huh?” You turn towards his voice, away from the window.

“I asked what’s up,” Sunghoon repeats, looking over at you for a split second before returning to the road. “You seem like we’re on another planet.”

“Just thinking about when we were younger, you know...” Did he? What did you want him to think about? The day you’ve been obsessing over? And then what would he do about it? Pull over and confess? Kiss you, but mean it this time?

Sunghoon laughs, breaking your thoughts. He spares another quick glance in your direction. “Younger like what? Like third grade or two days ago?”

You reach across the center console to smack his shoulder. “Why would it be two days ago?”

“We were younger then. Wild, foolish.” Sunghoon takes one hand off the wheel and places his knuckles on his forehead. “The way we were is actually unimaginable now.”

“I’m done with you.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “Sure you are.” A quick beat, a hum to the music. “Anyway, what were you thinking about?”

You’re quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you think we'll change?”

“We have changed.”

“Really?” He said it so simply, it takes you off guard. You turn to look at him, even though you know he’ll keep his eyes glued safely to the road.

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “We’ve totally changed. We don't like the same kinds of music as the old us used to. We don't eat mac and cheese for every conceivable meal—except for the day after that one chem exam.”

“That final was hard!” You reach across the center console to shove at his shoulder–oh, god, why do you keep finding ways to put your hands on him?–earning a smug grin. “None of it was covered in class and you know it!”

“See what I mean?” Sunghoon asks. “We're different, but like, a good different. We’ve adapted.”

The silence that fills the car after isn’t weighty or overbearing. It’s comfortable and common, safe like a child-loved security blanket. Yet, somehow, your stomach fills with stones of dread, and all you want to do is sleep off any bad feelings.

You keep your eyes trained ahead, the curving mountain road, when you ask, “Do you ever think we'll be bad different?

Sunghoon spares a confused glance at you, brows knit together as he switches focus between you and the road. He shakes his head. “No, not us. Never us.”

“Is that a promise?”

The hand closest to you leaves the steering wheel and drifts over the center console, pinky out. “Always.”

You wrap your pinky around his, and try to ignore the heated flush you feel creeping up your neck and the backs of your ears. You focus, instead, on how real Sunghoon feels. How solid the mixtape is in your hands. How, here out in what feels like the middle of nowhere surrounded by evergreens and roadside snow piles that have started to pop up and tall mountain views, time doesn’t feel like it can get you.

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe, out here, there’s only good different.

Maybe, that’s all you need.

The clouds from the morning have turned darker, more potent. You can smell rain in the air, hear it as the wind rushes through the trees. It’s so cold though, you wonder if it will snow instead. The mountain weather you’d been looking forward to for so long.

Sunghoon knocks his shoulder into yours, cheeks pink from the cold. He swings your duffle bag towards you, letting go of the strap before you’ve gotten a good grip on it. “Your luggage,” he declares, before marching towards the hotel entrance.

You’d both decided, with your combined measly college student incomes, that wherever the last hotel would be, it needed to be the best you could afford. Standing in front of it now, styled like a fancy chateau with white walls and a red roof, you think the two of you made the right choice.

You had forgot what made such a nice place so affordable, until Sunghoon swipes the key, opens the door for you, gesturing for you to walk in first. The room is cute and delicate, with pretty yet aged wainscotting, petite floral wallpaper, a nice view of the surrounding mountains and–

And one bed.

You freeze. You can’t help it. Maybe the you from this morning, before that girl talked to you, could handle this. The you of right now? The lady at the front desk calling you a cute couple, and Sunghoon going along with it and not correcting her, didn’t help. You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to keep everything the same.

“Rats,” Sunghoon says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. He’s not cool with this either, you think. He turns toward you with a coy smile. “I’m gonna go back downstairs and ask for more pillows. Three simply won’t cut it. Want me to ask for some fancy water?”

You shake your head, voice gone, and you don’t move until you hear the door shut behind Sunghoon.

And that’s when it starts, as you drag your feet in circles trying to think your way through this. Your hands clench and unclench, fists forming so tightly you leave half-moons from your nails in the fleshy part of your palm. Your breath comes ragged and shallow, and you feel like drowning, except from too much instead of not enough. Too many memories reminding you of too many things. Too many emotions leading to too many feelings you neither want to recognize or acknowledge.

But one keeps pushing its way to the forefront, demanding attention and definition. The one that’s been bothering you all day. It makes you dizzy, to the point you feel you need to lay down and clutch at your stomach. Maybe that’s it, you think as you sit on the edge of the one bed. You’re just sick. Breakfast was bad. But you know it’s not. It makes you angry, because how dare you feel this way about him. It makes you flustered, since you shouldn't look at your best friend's face and have your gaze wander to his lips and wonder what they'd feel like against yours.

It makes you happy, so undeniably happy that you feel like crying, because it feels so right. When you allow yourself to think more about it, and imagine what life would be like if you were able to confirm and agree with all the strangers who already think you’re dating. Lovers. It fills you up with breaths of fresh air to the point it's like floating on cotton clouds.

It makes you fearful. Its dark side claws at your heart, threatening to tear at the tender seams and leave you bloody and raw, so intensely damaged you're afraid of doing anything along the same lines. You had asked about a bad different, and Sunghoon said it wasn’t possible. Right now, you feel like you have to disagree–confessing this? Altering the relationship you’ve carefully crafted for so long?

That would be a bad different.

That’s why, when Sunghoon comes back, three more pillows and a bottle of sparkling water, you don’t answer. You roll over on the bed, curling up away from him, hiding with a pillow on your head. You hear Sunghoon say something about it being a long drive, and he gets it, you should rest. You hear him open the closet door, then feel the spare blanket get draped over you.

And, as you lay here, hot silent tears threatening to spill over and run down your cheeks, you let yourself think about it. You're in love with your best friend. Your nail-bitten palms come to swipe at your eyes, you make the mistake of sniffing aloud. Sunghoon calls your name, and you hate how much you savor the worry in his voice.

But, it’s also too much. He can’t know, you decide. Not now, not ever. That is what would be best, you decide, for the two of you. To be able to get through the rest of this trip.

“[Y/N], what is it?” he calls again. Sunghoon’s voice is laced with care, something tender and soft and so distinctly him it pulls at the tears in your eyes. How can he make this so unfair? “What's wrong?”

“You wouldn't understand,” you snap, pulling yourself to sit up, the pillow falling off. You don’t look at him, but instead at your hands, fists in your lap. Sunghoon easily notes your posture, and confusion floods his features. You hate how quickly he can figure out something’s wrong, that something is bothering you.

“Can I try to understand, at least?” You look up at him, lips pursed, tears smarting your eyes. You take him in–turned towards you in the chair, sitting on the edge, like he can jump to your rescue at any time. The confused look in his eyes hurts—you've always been straightforward with one another. But you know you can’t about this. “I can’t try to fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” 

     You shake your head, wiping one of your cheeks with your fingers, a half laugh falling from your lips. “No, Hoon it's—”

   “No.”

The force of the single word hits you, and it hurts more than the angry look in his eye.

   He stands, takes a step toward you, then sits hesitantly on the edge of the bed. He's close, and he's been closer, but it's still too much. The rushing sound is back in your ears and your heart pounds against your ribs, telling you to do something, anything, but you stay still.

   “Hoon—”

   “I said no, [Y/N].” Sunghoon’s words are ice, colder than the breeze outside and sharper than butcher knives. His eyes, once warm and homey, that romantic shade of brown you love, are now dark and piercing. “You don't get to call me special names when you aren't telling me what's wrong. When you aren't acting like the [Y/N] I've known since third grade.” His hands come up to run through his hair, and it flips slowly back into place. His voice drops, the softer, confused Sunghoon returning. “You've been acting weird this whole trip, and especially since this morning. It's driving me insane that I can't figure it out and fix it. I know you better than this.”

   He's so close, so, so close. Much too close. Somehow he’s scooted towards you on the bed. You can smell his cologne—when did he start doing that? Why hadn’t you noticed earlier? His eyes are back to the romantic brown, the warm and homey color, the ones that remind you of so many good memories—his eyes are so pretty. Your gaze follows its past patterns and drops to his lips, redder from being gnawed on with worry. A kiss would—

   A shaky breath leaves you, and you're talking before you realize, voice so small it's hard to hear. But Sunghoon is listening. He always does.

   You blink. “Do you want to know what's wrong?”

   “Of course. I need to know if I can do anything or—”

   “It's you.”

You want to be upset, angry. How dare it come to this. But you can’t, you realize. You can’t be angry at him. Whatever energy you had coursing through your veins leaves after your pseudo confession, and you turn away, resting your weight on the headboard, hoping he’ll go away. 

This, for certain, was bad different. You can feel it, weighing you down. Here, in a chilly, single bed hotel room, you’d ruined everything. Your brain told you to shut up, to be quiet, to try and save anything you could manage from this shattering relationship. But your mouth—or maybe your heart—kept going, and going, and going.

“It’s you,” you repeat, turning back towards him. He’s still there, frozen in place, face filled with concern. “It’s everything you do. The way you... you tell me bad jokes when I’m upset over a grade or make me mixtapes because you want to share your music with me. It’s–I’m–I’m sick of it. I hate it. I hate you”

Sunghoon recoils, eyes wide. He looks around the room, as if the answers to what to say are hidden around. He stands, backing up without turning away, like you’re something he has to keep his eyes on or he’ll get hurt again.

Again.

Sunghoon’s voice is flat when he speaks, like he’s out of breath. Shaky, like he’s about to cry, too. What have you done? “I’m… I’ll go downstairs and ask about if there’s anything nice around for dinner. I’ll–I’ll wait for you in the lobby. Whenever you’re ready, you know.”

Even now, after the nasty things–after I hate you left your lips–he’s still trying to make peace with you.

What did you do to ever deserve him?

And would he even stay with you once you return home?

The door falling shut is what starts your tears again. You slump down off the bed, between it and the window. You pull your knees up to your chest, put your head in your hands, and you cry.

***

It still isn’t over.

You’re breathing heavy, tears still stinging your eyes, but you aren’t sure if you’ve actually cried yet or not. Your fists are balled at your sides. Years of friendship are stuck in your throat, enough to make you want to scream or cry or vomit from the nauseous feeling it induces. The pouring rain, those clouds finally opening up, doesn’t help.

Dinner had been awful, awkward. The only person either of you talked to had been the waiter. You can’t remember what the food tasted like. You can’t remember what, if any, songs played on the radio on the way back. Sunghoon hadn’t bothered to pick anything out. All you could remember, or hear, or see in your head–I hate you. The look in his eyes. How he has barely looked at you since.

You aren’t sure what you have to do to get away, but you’d be willing to make a deal.

Anything to get away from this moment.

Anything to get away from your best friend.

Sunghoon stares at you like he’s only just now met you, and maybe he has. He’d stopped you halfway between the car and the hotel’s entrance, despite the rain. He’d called your name in such a way you froze. Your angered confession from earlier hangs in the air, untouched or acknowledged. A single parking lot light illuminates you two, dim yellow casting shadows through the rain.

“Do you mean that? What you said?” he asks, daring to step forward. You don’t move, anchored in place. By fear or something else, you aren’t sure. He takes another, then a third. The gap between you has been halved. “I know you don’t mean it. I’ve been thinking about it this whole time. You don’t mean it.”

“What makes you so sure?” you spit, taking a step closer in your upset. You level Sunghoon with a stare you hope is intimidating, bitter. You hope he sees the duress. You have to push him away. “I said what I said. I hate you, Park Sunghoon.”

The boy shakes his head, hair stuck to his forehead from the rain. He seems almost incredulous, and it angers you even more. Why doesn’t he get it? There’s a small smirk at the corners of his lips, but you’ve known him long enough to recognize it as mock confidence. “You didn’t mean what you said.”

“I did!” Another step, and now you’re nose to nose with him, staring into the eyes you’ve had memorized for so long, that romantic brown even in the rain and yellow streetlight. Your gaze betrays you and you drink in the slope of his nose, see how his eyes examine you as well. Note the downturn of his lips, almost unnoticeable. Your voice is weaker when you speak again. “I did mean it, Sunghoon.”

He leans in, closer and closer until he stops–a breath away from your lips. He freezes, closes his eyes, and waits.

And you cave, despite your best interests. You find yourself tilting your head and wishing he’d do something more. This can’t be how your first kiss with Sunghoon goes? When he pulls back, and you nearly stumble forward. You look up at him, and the smile on his face is no longer mock. You know what his question will be before he says it, and you know he’s caught you in your lie. “You hate me so much–why did you kiss me back?”

You want to spit back, I didn’t! You want to argue. But the truth is, ever since you’d remembered that day in high school, you’d been imagining what it would be like to actually kiss him, and again, and again. You wanted to know what kissing Sunghoon would be like, even if it meant redefining the relationship you worked so hard to keep as is. The one you said you hated him to protect.

Sunghoon gently cups the sides of your face, forcing you to look at him, and you see worry and concern etched into the space between his brows, spilt in the color of his eyes. “Tell me,” he whispers, voice almost breaking, “what’s wrong. Let me try to fix it.”

You shake your head, trying to form words to explain everything, but all you do is shiver drastically beneath his touch. You watch as Sunghoon’s eyes grow wide, and he leads you inside, arm over your shoulder. The woman at the front desks awards you a quirked eyebrow, but that’s all you get before she returns to her clipboard.

The room is icy cold when you return, but Sunghoon adjusts the temperature in silence. “You get dry first,” he says, pointing at the bathroom. “Take a shower and get warm.”

“But about you?” You want to point out the subtle shake in his hands, and the way his breath catches. “There’s not enough towels to share.”

“I’ll ask for more at the front desk. I’ll be fine. Go.”

The shower water never feels hot enough, but you do stop shivering. You do your best to towel dry your hair. When you peek the door open to see if he’s back, and if you could get your things, you see that Sunghoon has already done it for you. Everything you could need taken from your bag, folded and placed nicely right outside the door. You have no idea when he did it–you’re thankful he did.

When he comes back with extra towels–which, surely, did not take this long–you’re curled up on the bed, similar to before. You rest your weight on the headboard, looking out the window at how the rain patters against the glass. You wish you could see the stars.

Sunghoon is fast, but who’s to say? You aren’t exactly keeping track of time. You know he’s back because you feel the mattress shift. His voice is almost silent when he speaks. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” you ask, turning towards him. You haven’t seen Sunghoon look this tired in a while. And you know it’s your fault. “How I was mean to you?”

Sunghoon smiles, looking down at his clasped hands. He takes a moment to determine what he actually wants to say. “Let’s start with…what it is about me that made you say that?”

His eyes are pleading in the dark. The room is barely lit, the overhead light off. There’s just a lamp on the desk and the streetlight from outside. The rain sound is almost overwhelming in the silence. “If there’s something I’ve done that hurt you–”

“It’s not that. It’s–” You pause, trying to find the right thing to say. You decide to start with the obvious. “There’s a reason I kissed you outside.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because I’m charming and irresistible.”

“This is serious!” You do what you always do when he makes some kind of quip–you reach out to push his shoulder, scooting closer, but Sunghoon catches you by your wrist.

“I am serious. Do you know how much you hurt me when you said you hated me?” He levels you a stare, one that makes you want to shrink away, but you can’t. “When I left, I didn’t ask the front desk about restaurants. I went to my car and sat down and cried because the person I love just said they hated me.”

“You love me?”

“Not like that,” he corrects, and now you have to know what he means.

“Tell me how then.” You take your free hand and grab his other wrist, a mirror of what he’s done to you. “When you say you love me, what do you mean?”

“It’s not like you think, not like what it has been.” Sunghoon looks down, takes a deep breath, then carries on.  “Not like friends, or like siblings, but like–”

“Lovers?” you offer.

Sunghoon swallows, sets his jaw. Then, “Yes. Like that. And I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know if it was overnight or gradual or all at once. I do know that I woke up one morning and I realized that I didn’t want to imagine my future with anyone else. And I didn’t want to see you with anyone else, either.”

“Kinda selfish,” you say.

Sunghoon laughs. “Yeah. I couldn’t help it.”

Somehow, you’ve both moved closer to each other. The knees of your crossed legs knock into each other. You still have a hold on the other’s wrist. Sunghoon levels you another stare. “Will you tell me why?”

“Why I said I hated you?” He nods, and you take a deep sigh. “Do you remember the night we snuck into the pool to get my car keys back?”

He nods again, a small smile on his face. “You mean the first night I got enough courage to kiss you? You looked so pretty, with the pearls and the perfume.”

You blush, hearing Sunghoon talk about you like that. “That night. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. And you know how all these people always say we look like a couple or whatever. And it all just stuck together and made me realize that I haven’t seen you like a friend in a long time. I’ve seen you like–”

“A lover?” Sunghoon offers, copying you from earlier.

You smile. “I said I hated you because I was afraid and overwhelmed, and I need you away from me. I thought that if you hated me, I could get over you and just move on. We could make up, and I wouldn’t have these feelings anymore, and we could go back to being friends.

“But if I’m being honest,” you add, moving even closer. Your shoulders knock into one other. “Even though it wasn’t even that long, those hours over dinner just now were some of the worst things I have ever had to do. I was ugly to you, Sunghoon, and you’re the last person on earth who would ever deserve to be talked to that way. But if you could forgive me, I…”

You try to look down again, but Sunghoon lets go of your wrist to place a finger under your chin, tipping your head up to his gaze. “You what?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you. I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You take a deep breath, just as lightning strikes somewhere far away and the thunder rumbles through the room. 

Sunghoon reaches out for you, his hands reach cupping your face again. It’s the most reverent you’ve ever seen him. His eyes roam over your every feature, as if you’ll break if he breathes too hard. It’s thrilling. “Genuinely?” he asks, voice fragile. “You love me?”

“Yes,” you whisper. It feels wrong to be too loud right now, like someone else could join in this moment between the two of you. “And if you would have me, I’d like to love you for a long time after this.”

Sunghoon pulls you to him, resting your forehead against his. He takes a deep breath. Then, “We’ve both just been really, really stupid about it, haven’t we?”

You laugh, savoring his touch and his warm and his smile. You stare into his eyes, those romantic brown ones you love so much. “I guess so.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and your heart jumps. “I know we did outside, but that’s a terrible story for a first kiss.”

“And the one from so long ago doesn’t count, because you just gave me a kiss then,” you say, not sure why you’re rambling when you have the opportunity to just kiss him already.

So, you shut up, and you do.

This kiss is reverent, unlike any that came before. You probably shouldn’t even bother comparing them. Maybe it’s the intentions behind the kiss—that you both want to be here, doing this, for the sake of just being, not proving. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t followed any dramatic late night outings or arguments. Maybe, it’s how you shiver closer to his frame, hands on his shoulders, and his own find the small of your back. You feel his smile against your lips, and the butterflies against your ribs.

Maybe, you should have said something a while ago. You could have avoided the whole I hate you stint, but then would anything else have been dramatic? Some couples are like puzzle pieces, perfectly fitting together with no stress. And maybe you two are a puzzle, one that fits together with ease, but you both intentionally hid pieces from the other, making it difficult to complete. Maybe airing grievances is the only way to get all the pieces back on the table.

You sigh as Sunghoon’s lips travel from your own down the line of your jaw, tickling in a delightful way. You feel safe in his arms, a safe you’ve always felt, but now it feels like something more, something even greater. Your heart jumps, and you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him close. Sunghoon instinctively holds you tighter, his hands against your shoulder blades.

“What is it?” he asks.

You shake your head, finding any words to be incredibly difficult. “I’m just—I’m glad.”

Sunghoon pulls back gently, quirking his head to one side as he looks at you. He uses the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away a stray tear. “Glad for what?” he asks, still cupping your cheek.

You lean into his touch, feeling dizzy with excitement and relief. “Glad that it’s you,” you say, your voice quiet. You lean in, placing a chaste kiss against his lips and, for once, he’s the one to shiver. “I’m glad you’re the one I love. Glad we’re here now, finally.”

Sunghoon pauses. His eyes dart between yours, your lips, and back. He rests his forehead on yours again, and you can already imagine getting used to this, and craving it when you can’t have it. “I waited so long, and I didn’t even know if...” There’s a catch in his voice, and he sounds like he’s about to cry. When he opens his eyes, there’s an honesty to them, a gaze you’ve only seen in Sunghoon’s eyes a handful of times. He smiles, his eyes going soft once more, like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever beheld. And to him, you are. “I always knew we were meant to be.”

***

The lady behind the desk did, in fact, look at you two like you were crazy. The night before you were acting like you were gonna tear each other to pieces. But now you’re walking out in each other’s arms? His around your shoulder, yours around his waist?

The sun is out, and there’s hardly any evidence of the downpour from last night. Maybe the earth needed to be just as dramatic as the two of you.

With the luggage in back, you two climb into the front seats. Sunghoon leans over the center console to press a kiss to your temple, just like he did when you woke up in each other’s arms and just like he did when he insisted on getting you whatever you wanted for breakfast.

“That’s not something new though?” you laugh, as he brings you small portions of everything the hotel had to offer. “You did this before.”

“Well, it’s obviously different now,” he replies. “I didn’t get to kiss you before.”

Now, Sunghoon taps at the Valentine heart on the dash–your wanderlist. What started this all. “We need a new one,” he says. “It took us a while, but we did everything on here. Should the new one be full of cringey couple things?”

“Only if you’d like to go back to being single.”

Sunghoon fakes shock as he shifts the car into gear. “You wouldn’t.”

This time, you lean over to give him a kiss, and you relish how quickly he blushes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” You sit back down, still turned towards him, hand atop his. “Maybe, we make the list up as we go. I mean, we’ve never been here before.”

“Didn’t stop third grade us,” he says. “Honestly, they seemed like they had everything together. We should think more like third grade us.”

“You mean complaining about how much things cost? Because I can think of so many things we could do together that would put major dents in our wallets.”

Sunghoon turns to you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and you know you’ve got this right, even if it took a while to get here. He reaches over, poking your cheek, before turning out of the parking lot. “Then let’s go find it, together.”

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

VERY LATE BUT HERE IT IS!!

As a celebration for 500 followers (now 665 jesus christ) im doing a ONE SHOT fic-since this is in celebration of my followers YOU get to pick which fic gets made (though if your pick doesnt win, some might be reused for a future milstone!!)

Related links!!

Drakes Spoiled Brat (my main fic)

Dick & Jason inspo

Bruce mentor post

Anyways now for the rambling

Seriously thank you all so so much- I started this summer already bored out of my mind being out of classes and away from home. But then I got into this fandom. I dont even remember HOW I got into it really- but I had never watched any of the series or anything.

The most experience I had w/ Batman was my grandpas figurine collection and the comics he would let me read as a kid though I never really understood what was going on.

But I learned through fanfiction first and foremost- i picked up on wtf the tower scene was, who was "Oracle" and Ra, and everyone else- and as I wanted to learn more I got into the series and comics themselves.

Ive been writing for years but never considered my stuff GOOD- I could put together a story but I struggled to connect you know?

Drakes spoiled brat?? I had never even heard of the trash count thing it was apparently based on- I stopped reading webtoon as soon as they started locking old finished series, let alone Manhwa.

But I went "Oh that sounds funny-" and the intro?? The champagne glass thing was actually written for a completely DIFFERENT one shot- but I reused it and just went ham. Now im almost 60k in with at least 100k more to go- and on top of that its something im PROUD to have written

I would have been thrilled having just a handful of people who read my shit- but for the outpouring love an support, seriously means the world so thank you <33

[awrkive]

miss dee what are ur favorite parts from pt 2 since it is the most favorite thing that you’ve written. awrkive nation would love to hear ur thoughts 🎤🎤

ALSO TY FOR PUTTING OUT THE NUMBER ONE YEARNING F2L FIC THAT IS TLP WE FUCKING LOVE YEWWWW 💕💕💕

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED❗

ok ok so heres my list

1. when oc cheered for jk!! i love love the domesticity of it all, and when oc was mulling over how good jk's body is compared to her, but then she realizes its just him and she knows well that he will never ever judge her because it's him and he makes her feel secured, no matter what. i like to think that even tho their physical closeness would look really weird from an outside perspective, its normal to them, like second nature! bcs thats how their relationship is. its comfy and its natural and its physical and its close and they make each other feel safe and secure <3

2. the birthday scene where oc takes jk under the moonlight to give him a gift!! like the gesture of greeting him at the exact HOUR of his bday was really sweet i think. it speaks volumes of how much she values him, and i feel like thats beyond friendship or any possible romantic stuff. jk said shes always anxious abt gifting people stuff and its true!! we read her trying to play off the whole thing as something insignificant, telling jk the hairdryer was her "real gift" but jk knows its not!! i also love they talked abt their exes in that scene!! it leads us to the scene of mingyu and jk fight so well (#forME) so yehhhh i just love love it

3. confession scene!!! its not major angst but i think its the most angst ive ever written and im just proud of the dialogue bcs i feel like its something they would actually say?? like it felt real to me somehow?? jk's response to oc telling him she didnt believe his feelings also got me melting in front of my laptop cos even *I* could not take that 😭 i really love the "i've always wanted to be your person" line 😭😭

4. this is a wildcard but i love the fight scene between mingyu and jk lol. i know i put a LOT of history in there and im still doubting if that was too much but overall im very pleased w myself for how i went abt it lol

5. doyeon and jk heart-to-heart <3 i just love their dynamic so much. and when she comforts him even tho shes an idgaf girl most of the time!!!! the power of friendship fr im a sap like that 😭

tlp pt 2 is themost fun ive ever had writing something. the result is super painful but i think thats why im proud of it bcs i felt the emotions myself the feelings i was trying to make yall feel 🫶🏼

[courtney-deserved-better]

🤡 and ✅

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

courtney and alejandro's friendship!! it was never meant to happen in slippery slopes initially but in the australia challenge when alejandro was supposed to be manipulating courtney he said "no actually i will begin to form a deep bond due to our mutual family issues and deep-seated competitive/perfectionist nature that will carry us throughout this entire fic" and i was like "damn okay sure"

and then in some shorter alenoah fics i was like "well obviously courtney is alejandro's best friend so she has to make an appearance" and even in my recent script rewrite for moon madness they have a scene where alejandro is helping courtney talk through her feelings (for manipulative purposes, but still).

and don't even get me started on the courtney time travel au. i don't want to say too much about it and alejandro has a very minor role, but also, he was never supposed to exist in that fic in the first place!! but nope he showed up and was like "courtney's memories of me will be the catalyst for her making a certain decision" and i was like "welp im powerless to stop you at this point" literally in every iteration of them i write they have some kind of connection and honestly ive embraced it at this point, if amicus curiae is any indication lol

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

ooo, i'm actually quite proud of my comedy writing, so there are quite a few! the later chapters of operation nemma have several exchanges that make me laugh, and there are always a few scenes that catch me off guard when i'm rereading slippery slopes and have me cackling.

i put a snippet of one of my favorites from under the cut, i wouldn't say it's the funniest, but i also am proud of the snappy writing. it's from the beginning of chapter 5 if anyone is interested in looking back at the full exchange!

“Hey, Dumb and Dumber?” Duncan says, snapping his fingers. “We’ll just go with the first two, okay? Because someone is too far in denial to be reasonable.”

“It was a joke,” Noah scoffs, “because I don’t flirt with Alejandro.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“He flirts with me to annoy me, and it works. That’s it.”

“Hello, denial.”

Owen opens another can of pop. “Isn’t that the first stage of love, or something?”

“It’s the first stage of grief,” Noah says, “which is what you two are currently causing me. "

[lynnthefrenchtoast]

Lines from "In The Other Universe" that I CANT GET OVER

in which a fanfic writer (me) overexplains her oneshot bc I NEED TO RAMBLE AND MY IRLS FOLLOW ME ON EVERY OTHER PLATFORM SO TUMBLR IS ALL! I! HAVE!

(u should prob read it first this wont make sense otherwise)

"Even though it was not his name, Yin Yu turned"

i dont know if this is a canon scene or not (sue me the books are LONG and hard to buy in my country) but i've read about yin yu getting mistaken for yizhen and getting totally upset. so i decided to start this fic with him being so okay with it that he responds to qi ying's name as if it's his own.

(also because if ur so close to someone, ur nosy abt their business because it also becomes your business) I WANTED TO CONVEY THAT CLOSENESS FROM THE VERY FIRST LINE

"Should I tell Yizhen you can't even recognize me?"

CANON YIN YU IS SO GLOOMY AND HONESTLY WE UNDERESTIMATE HIS POTENTIAL TO BE TEASY. i just know he could be. all hard workers have a sarcastic inner voice

"The man damn near shits his pants"

AHAHHA okay look. i have this tendency when writing to be REALLY PRETENTIOUS AND FANCY. and ive learnt that usually NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS. compared to genshin, tgcf fanfics are so beautifully written and sometimes i gotta remind this fandom to SPEAK INFORMALLY (unless its qi rong. then. yea. BUT WHO READS QI RONG FICS?)

"The blank wrist that has never known the kiss of cold metal"

I RIPPED MY OWN HEART OUT WITH THIS ONE

"In this universe, he discovers it's such a simple thing to be happy."

proof that quanyin is literally hualian's cousin

the entire earring scene

i am a sucker for qyz's over-attachment to the earrings. ik a lot of ppl think he's like this because its the only thing yin yu ever gave him but NO headcanon that even in the other universe, yizhen would be overly attached because hes a puppy

he xuan scene

canonically, he xuan would NEVER. bc 1) he's too lost in his own ways to ask for advice and 2) it would fuck with his earth master disguise too much. but since it's the other universe!!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

“Yizhen’s victory is my victory,” he declares, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. “His loss is my loss. When Yizhen cries, I am sad. When Yizhen smiles at me, my heart is so full it could burst.” He brings two jade white palms together, interlocking the fingers like entangled limbs on a hot summer morning. “We’re like this. One shared past; one shared future. As a Shixiong, don’t you think rather than being jealous, I’m extremely proud of how far he’s come?”

my favourite freaking line can you tell? IT SHOWS THEIR ABILITY TO ROOT FOR ONE ANOTHER. SHOWS EMPATHY. SHOWS LOVE. ("my heart is so full it could burst") THE RECALL TO THE MORNING THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER, REMINDING YOU OF DOMESTICITY AND SIMPLICITY AND TRUST AND CLOSENESS.

ONE SHARED PAST; ONE SHARED FUTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? this is all i ever wanted for them. to be able to grow together and live together and die together. TO HAVE A SHARED PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

this line is also loaded to me bc i once wrote a fic called "entangled pasts; estranged future" that wasnt good enough to be posted but GOD IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF IT

"Here, he never needs to know the weight of a mask – neither physical not metaphorical."

i dont like how i worded this but IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. YIN YU NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR THE WANING MOON MASK but more importantly NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR A MASK TOWARDS QUAN YIZHEN. NEVER NEEDS TO HIDE RESENTMENT. im shaking with all they couldve been and didnt become.

"Here, Brocade and Immortal are just two words"

hear that? its the sound of me BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AAAAAA I SO DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE REAL i mean i understand if they werent so tragic i wouldnt love them as much but IT HURTS! (*100 teehee)

"Sure it will."

i actually hate myself why did i end it like that even in my fanfic i cant let them be happy. huh. i have to subtly hint that this isnt what happens.

its actually so upsetting that the whole fic is so nice and healing and all of it is just overcasted by this knowledge of "its not real. they never get to be this happy. what really happens is they resent each other and leave each other and they become one shared past; two estranged futures."

you can call me insane. im aware no one thinks this deeply about fanfiction and most people are on the site for smut. BUT I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT SO YOURE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE

[roughdaysandart]

4-29-24 Progress/Updates!!!

EDIT: Holy god, I forgot to add the like 7 prolougue parts to the outline below...Jesus christ... This is is gonna be a LONG work, guys...

-----[ORIGINAL POST]-------

HOLY SHIT I did ALOT of writing/edits these last few days!

Also tragically remembered that I wanted all flashbacks/past sequences to be monochrome (except for blood, fire, significant objects), so ha I wasted sooo much time last week coloring the Chapter 0's first few pages! But it looks sck as FUCK, almost like Noir!

Thankfully I finalized the main plot/arc differences BEFORE drawing too ahead. Im SO excited with the filler content/edits Ive made, SG has a very VERY compelling charcahter development plan/backstory thats REALLY gonna take what the original Rough Day already gives us about her to a different FUCKING level.

So now that my major writing-fever/panick in getting the overarching charcater developments finalized has FINALLY ended, I can share the almost finalized sub-chapter titles! Maybe you can gage some of the struggles well be seeing by the titles alone! Also for the sake of organization, Ive divided Rough Day (ABCR) into 4 'books/seasons', with the last one obviously changing/being altered based on the last few chapters that @no-droids releases whenver theyre ready!

CH 0: PREFACE

 PT 1: Other Talents

 PT 2: Rules and Habits

CH 1: ROUGH DAY

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 2: HEARTENED IN HYPERSPACE

PT 1: Ow, ow, ow, OW-OW-OW

PT 2: No longer.

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 3: NEGOTIATION SKILLS

PT 1: Useful.

PT 2: Convincing

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 4: REST

PT 1: Unrelenting Interruptions

PT2: Quiet Murmurs in the Dark

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 5: OF METAL AND MEN

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 6: A SHOW OF GOOD FAITH

PT 1: Forget about it. Forget about it.

PT 2: The Deal

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 7: RUSHED

PT 1: Honor

PT 2: Something

PT 3: Natural, Not Normal

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 8: THE FLOOR IS BETTER

PT1: In Memoriam

PT2 : Oil and Water

PT3: Stepping Stones

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

Book/Season 2: TORN

CH 9: BROWN EYES

Pt 1: Listen and Learn 

Pt 2: Unintended, overheard.

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 10: JUST THE TRANSLATOR

PT 1: TBD ("devastatingly, upper-hand”?)

PT 2: TBD (“Fireside Chat?”)

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 11: CHAPTER 11

PT 1: Promise Me

PT 2: It’s Yours

Pt 3: If You Close Your Eyes

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 12: BEGINNER’S LUCK

PT 1: TBD: (“Lucked out/”?)

PT 2: Shot to the Heart

Prolouge: Part (chapter #)

CH 13: KAR’TAYLIR

PT 1: …and to lose.

PT 2: Is to love...

Prolouge: Finale

CH 14: WHENEVER YOU WANT

PT 1: TBD

PT 2: Everything, and then Everything Again (Confessions of a Middle-Age Trauma Queen)

Book/Season 3: THE CHASE

CH 15: OUT OF TRILLION  (Parts TBD)

CH 16: ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW(Parts TBD)

CH 17: WHISPERS OF YOU(Parts TBD)

CH 18: HOME(Parts TBD)

SEASON 4: BE NOT AFRAID (TBD)

CH 19: BE BRAVE

CH 20: ANOTHER ROUGH DAY

CH 21 - End

Possible epilouge

I seriously cannot believe how intense and real and FUN the editing/writing process has been...I never thought of myself as a ...like a writer but holy cow I feel like I could envison an actual written work or show having the story arc Ive written for SG. Im very proud of what Ive done!

-----------------------------------------

Rough Day Originally by @no-droids

Roudh Day ('Abridged for Christian Roomates') Comic by @roughdaysandart

[commander-gloryforge]

man thank god i didnt kill myself in 2020 because then i would never have been able to write this story that i love so dearly and have been loving more than anything else ive ever created for years now

to think that i first wrote this story when i was at my actual lowest point and it was one of the only things that kept me going back then, and now ive grown as a writer and also as a person and am genuinely doing better than i ever have and have healed so so fucking much

and im writing it again and im proud of it and im proud of myself!!!!

im rewiriting the specific chapter- no the line that literally reminded me that i can do so much more than i think. like literally this single line changed my life in such a way, and even though its origins are cringe and i dont even want to bring it up among most people anymore, its still. just. the line

and now its here again on the page. and it hits so much heavier. woah

im alive! thank god im alive. who else wouldve written that story otherwise?

[lostxmelody]

Hi hi, hope you're having a good day You don't need to respond to this or anything, I just wanted to say thank you for making Life's Reflection. It's become a very important fic to me, and I am very proud of you for finishing it. I know how hard it can be to finish things, especially written projects, so the fact that you stuck it out impresses me Would love to see more stuff from you in the future :D

asker. asker. how could i not reply to such nice words? thank you very much for reading, im glad my words could have meaning to you. im proud of myself too :') i can't believe i made it this far...

i used to always give up on anything i started. i quit art for almost two years even though i had dedicated so much of my life to it in school. didnt draw for the simple purpose of drawing for myself in over four.

with writing, it almost felt like i had an excuse. i was never interested in english class. i didnt take any writing classes outside of what was required in school. so if i wrote something and it was bad, well i just didnt have experience.

but thats the thing. i could tell myself all of that- and for what? i dont feel any better about myself for it. ive read countless fics that deserve to be published in an actual book. words that have so much meaning to me i think about them on a day-to-day basis. these people have an unfathomable level of talent, and yet here they are, posting their work for free. and i get to read it. isn't that incredible?

so it's alright if i can't do that. no writer can ever make something they're 100% happy with. sometimes you get a good idea, and then you throw it all away because you're frustrated. that's okay. pick it up and try again, view it from a different angle. give it another shot because you never know how your words will reach someone else.

and the cool thing about hobbies? you never stop improving. you might hit a rut, start to think you've gotten worse all of sudden, but that's just your expectations for yourself getting higher. it's good to lower them sometimes. tell yourself- hey this doesn't need to be perfect. i'm not super happy with it, but you know what im happy with? the fact that i could even do it in the first place.

[sehrgefaelltmir]

🌈 (for ein unbeschreibliches gefühl) 📥 and 🏅!! i love your works 🫶

aw thank you so much!! that means a lot <33

🌈 - what inspired you to write [insert fic here] - lowkey i feel like it was lewy leaving bayern 😭 like i had already been a big müllendowski enthusiast for a long time but id never written a fic before?? and then in early summer 2022, like may i think?? i finished my leaving cert (final school exams, kinda like a-levels or abitur) n i had loads of free time suddenly, and id been reading loads of football fics so i rlly wanted to write one myself, and i started trying to think of vague plot ideas but i was scared to actually write it?? cause i felt like my writing was a bit shit and my plot was unoriginal asf and made no sense 😭😭 but then. THEN. The Transfer happened. n anyone whos looked at my blog for more than like 1 second knows how much i love lewy. like i was genuinely devastated i cried real actual tears on more than one occasion 💀💀💀 so after that i was like fuck it. just write the silly little fic who cares if it’s bad or unoriginal it literally doesnt matter anymore the world is ending etc etc etc. so i wrote the first chapter in like half a day n posted it and im so glad i did!!! top 5 decisions ive ever made 😌

(thats also why i set the whole thing in 2015 btw. so we could be faaaar away from the evil barca transfer. i was in denial frfr) (i still am he still plays for bayern hes just on loan cause gavi needs a foster parent)

📥 - your fave fic to receive comments/messages on - i guessssss ein unbeschreibliches gefühl?? it’s definitely the one im most proud of its like my firstborn child. but i just love getting comments in general theyre so fun!! even if i got a comment talking shit abt my fic and telling me its the worst thing ever written id just be 🥰 yay 🥰 comment 🥰

🏅- something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing - uhh for my euro 2016 müllendowski fic (the sequel) i actually wrote an outline for the whole fic instead of ending every chapter with no idea how the next one was gonna go 😭😭😭 thats how i wrote ein unbeschreibliches gefühl n to this day idk how i finished it cause every time i sat down to write a new chapter id read what i last posted n be like oh no why did i write that 😓😓

asks!!

[mangopit]

20 Writer Questions

ty @littlefirefox for the tag!! nice seeing the other folks you tagged too, fandom runs deep fr haha <3

1. Total number of AO3 works?

34! i haven't uploaded in so long ouurgh

2. Total AO3 word count?

103,336 :o

3. Fandoms I’ve written in?

oh boy, tons. and im too shy to talk abt a lot of them on my main blog lol, but throughout my life i've written for a lot of youtubers, bbc sherlock, rotbtd, atla, tlok, american idol, some disney shows, an anime, live streamers, musicians...

4. Top 5 Fics by Kudos

dhjdjhs again im too shy to list em directly, they're all rpf >:'D # of kudos: 519, 377, 341, 314, 305

5. Do I️ respond to Comments?

yes, i try to reply to all of them! tho i need to look at my inbox and check that i haven't missed any recent ones :')

6. What has the angstiest ending?

hmmMm on ao3 i have a drabble that ends in perceived unrequited love but i think my actual angstiest published story ends with 2 former best friends finally choosing to part ways. offline, i have stories that end in major character death 😬

7. What has the happiest ending?

oh! a delightful question! i think the one where the soulmates figure their shit out and finally confess their feelings for each other feels like the most triumphant ending that i can remember writing :)

8. Have I️ received hate?

not for my writing. i've received unwarranted constructive criticism before tho.

9. Do I️ write smut? And what kind?

yes sometimes but i've never posted it online 👁👁 and idk "what kind" means... gay i guess???? loll

10. Do I️ write crossovers?

yes! i don't think i've posted anything online but rise of the brave tangled dragons is one of my longest loves.

11. Have I️ ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 😳

12. Have I️ ever had a fic translated?

no but i would be honored if anyone offered! :')

13. Have I️ ever co-written a fic?

i've initiated "finish the fic"s before, but i've never co-written a fic in the traditional sense.

14. What is my all-time favorite ship?

OH hmmm idk if i have one. maybe sh****** just bc of how long and intense my obsession was for it lol

15. A WIP I️’ll never finish?

i have a bbc sherlock fic that was well-received but i just can't imagine finishing it bc my writing has changed so much, i never had a direction for the story, and i don't really like how i wrote the characters.

16. Writing Strengths?

i'm good at eavesdropping on imaginary conversations between people who exist solely in my head so i think im good at whipping out dialogue, lol. i also pride myself on writing realistic, complex emotions and digging into the deeper, more hidden thoughts of characters.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

i think i get so excited about writing my favorite bits i have planned that i rush the pacing of my stories or i force plotpoints that don't make too much sense and can probably be cut. i've been trying to combat that by indulging in the first draft—letting myself write all the exciting, wild ideas i have first before revising and fine-tuning the story to my standards!

18. Do I️ like foreign language dialogue?

yes? no opinion? i don't think i understand this question.

19. First Fandom I️ wrote for?

i think it was american idol >:)

20. Favorite fic Ive written?

wahhh like lynn i find it super hard to choose bc my writing is such a reflection of my interests and general mindset at the time! plus i still love my most busted writing bc i have such a warm appreciation for who i was and how i've improved. buuuuut for whatever reason i'm very proud of this one friends to lovers fic on my ao3 that's set during the wintertime~ i think i was able to get the pacing just right, emotionally and plotwise, and everything just makes sense, and the ending is so satisfying. it's a very solid fic for when i wrote it, and i am very happy to write a simply solid fic :)

thanks again lynn for the tag!! tagging: @farklelucas @26velociraptors if you want + any other ficwriters who would like to do this! (lol gretchen i can't even remember if you post on ao3 ermm)

[littleplantfreak]

you could fill whole posts with your feelings about Ume, you say? why don't you prove it? 👀💖

Em, sweet pumpkin spice latte, i have a reputation (i dont actually) so it's going under the cut because no one should actually have to hear me scream about him for 10 years PLEASE if anyone here thinks im cool dont read this i wanna keep my nonexistent street cred

This is my second time writing about him so im sure its consolidated a bit which is preferred cause earlier it was like,,,,, ten paragraphs more than it is now

lets start with my favorite manga panel of him that i keep so safe and close to my heart because look! he broke the wall and his arm hangs over the panel and i looove it Satoru nii i can tell you were gonna make him the mc but im sooo glad you didnt because i love himmmm. though sometimes he reminds me of myself when i was younger way too much but this aint about him. ANYWAYS I FORGOT I DONT THINK ANY OTHER PANEL DOES THAT? its and important panel TO ME

When i first saw him with his hair down? instant heart eyes jesus christ ive never drooled over someone so hard which must be why my post with the most notes is me gushing about his hair. Ive always had a thing for hair tho im just a weirdo. Don't even get me started on the reading glasses!!!! i could just scream.

Also ive always had a thing for big guys esp gentle ones and once i learned more about him it was like bullseye bullseye bullseye- with how boxes he ticked but i just wanna climb him and maybe fight him for real but also fight him with my mouth. I wanna take care of him soooooo bad its not even funny. Like i know he's a big caretaker but i wanna pamper him i want that boy loves and cherished ill fight chika for him rn baby you dont have to lift a finger just sit over there right now.

Just heard a country song on the radio called must be doin something right by billy currington or whatever his last name is and went "i could dance with ume to that right now!!!!' also its a really sweet song though i love it.

Also he's hates needles...i hate needles.. we can take turns holding each other's hands for bloodwork and shots!!!

I started writing mainly for him and it was like....a "im not seeing enough content/the content i want" for this character so i put my pants on and did it myself. PRetty much my whole life i didnt like writing but now i do it semi-regularly and im pretty proud of that actually because ive begun to enjoy it? It probably helps that everyone's so sweet and the atmosphere is so chill but also nice and crazy and cool??? I dont have a lot of friends so im sooo soo thrilled to be able to gush with people its not even funny though sometimes im like "Girl you gotta be cooler than this you're not acting chill AT ALL calm down" so anyways i love him but i act like i really cant stand him he makes me so mad im furious at his existence

The scariest thing in the world to me is physically having kids? Like ive had nightmares about it i just dontttt wanna and i can tell he wouldnt push that like he'd be thrilled to adopt too it wouldnt matter but i think i would literally have his kids which is wild!!

Also? when i made that kissing picrew i actually flustered myself and that was crazy too because i don't fluster easy with boys at all but i physically turned red giggling kicking my feet about it every time i looked at it lmaoo you should see how red i get its baaaad im down baaaad

anyways ive alreasdy written too much have some more ume pics

[simpjaes]

i unkowningly found u bc i didnt know u had two accounts!! enha is a recent (literally this year) ult while ive been with svt/nct for years so while looking for enha fics i recognized the writing in first date etiquette (i usually skim past authors notes to check if i like the writing style first before checking the tags) and had enough sense to scroll back up to the authors note and see you reworked it from the blog i originally know you from!! so automatically i had to lock in bc i really enjoy your work on ncteez and you're one of the few authors where i can genuinely enjoy well written work AND an actual "blank slate" reader insert for a nice immersive experience as a black reader. trust when i have the funds for it, i'll be hitting your line for a PAID commission!!

-🐻

oh this actually means so much to me bc i typically put a lot of effort into making sure my reader has personality but is mostly a blank slate! ill admit that here on this blog i have some readers who have more features [such as being able to be lifted or having fingers run through their hair] but it's never to leave anyone out, i think it's just bc i want a size kink or hair gripping/pulling kink, so i really hope that doesn't pull you out of any of the fics 🖤

the bore next door / first date etiquette is fr such a fun fic so im glad you clocked me here on simpjaes with the revamp :D

ur making me proud nonnie ily