#im actually so upset about the pictures that were released this morning

[evermoredeluxe]

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[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :) 

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships  @edupunkn00b  @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

[ghouls-dream]

Hopefully you are still taking requests, I've been too scared to send one in. I'm sorry if this is a bit vague. I love your work💞 Can I request a smutty imagine where y/n teases dewdrop by flirting with the other ghouls just to see how angry she can get him and she ends up in deep trouble with him?

Hello, sweetheart! Firstly - thank you so much for the kind words! And secondly - im so glad you got the "courage" to ask, haha. Filth is on the way! I hope you like it 🖤

Jealous Dew x Reader one-shot (WARNING!!! HELLA NSFW, 18+)

Dew's POV 

"Oh, darn it!" Rain scoffed as he saw how one of his striped balls hit the corner of the pocket, but not getting in. "Hell yeah!" I jumped happily, going near the pool table and looking at the balls' position. We loved playing pool, especially after big rituals like tonight's. That was like a routine for us. Well the ghouls mostly - The ghoulettes had their own way of relaxing, and Cardinal always prefered binge-watching "Friends" instead of having fun with us. Sometimes it fel like he was Nihil's lost son - I can't say Copia was boring, but he was quite introverted at times.

"Don't get too upset, Rain. Maybe Mr. "Pay back time" will fail. You have luck you're not playing with me" Aether teased me as I smirked, pointing with the pool stick at him "I can take all of you!". "Everyone knows that, slut!" Swiss called out from the back as he drank his beer. I rolled my eyes, due to their laughter, and tried to ignore it. After that I bent over the table, position myself to hit the white ball in front of me when I heard the door opening... Just before I was about to hit it, my eyes focused on a very particular feminine figure... Y/N. What the fuck was she doing here?!

Y/N POV

It was the night after a ritual, which automatically meant no sleeping for any of us! Well, at least Papa's witches. Why? Because our rooms were one wall apart from the Ghoul's playroom. All of us hated that - including Cumuls and Cirrus, who prefered a ladies night with us and the Sisters of sin. The Ghouls were just too loud. Especially when there was alcohol in the whole picture and tonight... Tonight there was a lot!

I looked around the sleeping girls, tossing myself again and sighed. I couldn't fall asleep, Swiss' voice was keeping me awake as well Dew's loud banging on the pool table, so I just decided to get up, put on my black lacy dress and go see what the boys were doing. Maybe even asking them to keep it a little bit more quiet. Some of us had a morning praise at 5am! And besides... I wouldn't mind seeing them. Since all of us were friends and there was no "I'm superior" barreier between us.

I walked out of the room, feeling how the slight wind was touching my skin as I grabbed the playroom's lock. Before I pushed it, I heard Swiss' voice calling someone "slut". My mind automatically connected that with Dewdrop as I smirked and let my filthy thoughts invade my brain.

As I entered the room, all of the boys turned to me. They looked shocked. Especially Rain who I could tell even felt emberassed by my look. The lacy black dress was thin enough to cover my whole body, but it was also a little bit transparent. "Weren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Mountain asked, before taking a sip from his drink and then offering me some. I refused of course and responded sarcastically "Well we all were, but some smartass decided to put your playroom next to our bedroom. Do the math". "I told you guys" Aether pointed out as I felt Dew's eyes scanning every bit of my body. He was in the middle of a shot I can tell, by his position, but he obviously gave up doing it. He stood up, leaning against the stick and growled "So what? It's not like you listen to it every night". I chuckled at his response and sat next to Swiss, who was half-laying on the red couch next to the pool table. His hand was put on the backrest as he looked over me and raised an eyebrow "So noise brings you here? It's not something or someone else?" I heard the boys' "oohs" as I smirked at him, bitting my lip and shrugged. "You never know" - I said seductively before turning my head towards Dew. His eyes were burning with... Anger? Also I wouldn’t want to be the stick he was holding. The ghoul's grip around it was almost enough to break it in half. I could tell my his knuckles, turning white. 'Or maybe I'd like to be' my mind whispered to myself. "Won't you finish the shot?" I asked, raising my eyebrow as Aether laughed "Yeah, man. I'm getting sleepy". Dewdrop rolled his eyes, positioning himself again. His swift body movements were enchanting. 

Finally the white ball hit the red one in front of it, but no luck. "Ooh, so close dude!" Mountain pointed out as Dew sighed. 'Do it! Come on!' my mind encoureged me to do the thing I've been thinking about since the moment I entered the room. I knew that it wouldn't end well, one way or another, but I couldn't care less at this point. I got up from my seat, looking at Rain who was obviously confused on how to move on with the position of the balls on the table. Before becoming part of the Church actually, I really enjoyed gaming nights with my friends - doesnt matter what type of game we'd play. I always enjoyed them. "Need help?" I smirked at the Water ghoul who shurgged his arms and gave me the stick. "That's not by the rules!" Dew's voice filled the room. I could feel he was getting angry. I raised my eyebrow and asked seductivly, before taking Rain's stick  - "And since when do YOU play by the rules?". After those words I heard another set of "oohs" before, bending over in front of Rain. I could deffinitely tell he wasn't feeling the most comfortable in that position, since my butt was touching his front, for which I felt kinda bad, but I was enjoying every bit of it since Dewdrop's anger was growing. "Have you been working out lately?" Swiss joked as I turned to him chuckling and winked back at him, answering his joke with my own "Wanna find out?".

We actually stayed in the room for almost another hour of jokes and laughter, before Aether got in charge and as being the most responisble one of the group asked us all to go to bed. I wouldn't have refused anyway, I was tired. "Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow" I whispered yawning, as we all started walking out of the room, before feeling someone's hand gripping my waist and preventing me from escaping. I quickly turned around before hearing the door closing behind me, as Dew stared into my eyes. " 'Wanna find out!?' Seriously!?" he hissed against my lips before crushing his onto mine. His fingers found their way into my hair as he gripped it, which caused my head to tilt back slightly, exposing my neck to him. "Are you jealous?" I teased. "Am I jealous?! I'm fucking furious, Y/N! Do you not remember the time backstage? Or the 'please don't tell Imperator about this' situation in her office?! I'm gonna make you pay, girly!" Dewdrop whispered against my ear as I felt my kneese getting weaker, with every touch he made over my body. Next to the other ghouls, he was indeed shorter, but I wasn't them. Dew was almost a head above me. His teeth found his way to my most senstive part on my neck and bit it gently, before sucking it harder. I gasped by his action, before whimpering "Fuck yes...". He wasn't even trying to be gentle at this point and every part of my body loved that! His fingers made their way to my lady parts, feeling the wetness over them as he whispered "So you'd let Swiss try this out, but not me? Wrong...". After those words I felt how his index entered me, followed by his middle finger. I didn't even have time to react i just grabbed his shoulders and moaned, as he moved them faster and faster. "Did you like bending over Rain?" he groaned against my neck, before sucking on the same spot as before. This time i felt a small wave of pain, which made me whimper. "Answer me! Did.. You... Like it?!" Dew's voice was filled with sexual rage. "Yes!" I cried out as I opened my eyes and saw him smirking, before saying "Let's see how you'd like this then". His fingers quickly escaped my body as I sealed my lips with his own, as I felt himleading me towards the pool table. His tongue was fighting for dominance in my mouth and I gladly gave him what it wanted.

After that breathtaking kiss Dew spun me around, so I was in the same position as with Rain. My heart was going to explode in my chest, my pulse was pumping so hard I felt like fainting from all the adrenaline. Before I could make up my mind I heard a belt, being unbuckled, and soon after that a firm smack on my bare butt. Dew came once again next to my ear and whispered "I'll make you regret every single thing you did that night". After those words I felt a sweet pain rushing through my body, causing me to moan loudly. He made a few thrust inside as i grabbed the wooden side of the pool table. His hand found its way in my hair once again, before gripping it tightly and pulling my body next to his. "Dew..." I moaned louder as his other hand grabbed my neck and squeezed it gently. "Yes, Y/N?" he whispered breathless into my ear, before bitting my neck again. His movements were becoming even faster as I felt that the end of both of us was close. "Tell me how much you love this... Say it!" his voice filled the room as I shouted, panting "I love it how you fuck me! Dew... Im... Please...". Few more thrust were made into me, as I felt the pleasure building inside my lower stomach. Dew then kissed my lips roughly before bitting the lower one and whispered "Come... Now!". I was more than happy to release the pleasurable tension inside me as my voice filled the room. His grip also let go of me as I heard my name escaping his mouth before feeling one final thrust. After that there was just mine and his unstable, deep breathing... Nothing more, nothing less. We were both a sweaty, aroused mess at this point and it never felt better!

Soon after I was able to come back to reality I felt his lips brushing against my bare shoulder. This time it was tender, gentle and sensual. It had nothing to do with what just happened. "Y/N... Stop driving me crazy like this. Not that I don't like it, but... I was about to beat the shit out of both Rain and Swiss" he whispered as I chuckled and turned my head to him, kissing him gently, before whispering back "My dorky firecracker..."  

[let-it-raines]

Second in Command (Epilogue - Part Seven)

Summary: Life as the “spare to the heir” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be when you’re the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don’t know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: Mature

A/N: You guys are totally going to be annoyed with me for how I left it on a cliffhanger when I totally didn’t have to except to show some character growth and how things change...which I guess is exactly the reason I ended it that way :D

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

Epilogue Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Tag list: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @ekr032-blog-blog @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615@a-faekindagirl @mayquita @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @kristi555 @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @alys07 @andiirivera

“Can I come in, son?”

“Yeah, of course,” Killian answers automatically, the shock of his father just showing up at his door stunning him for only a moment. It’s not like he never visits. He usually just calls or texts first. “I didn’t know you were coming over, dad. Why didn’t you call?”

“Oh, I was visiting the kids and thought I’d drop by since I knew that the two of you had returned home.” His dad steps inside, squeezing his shoulder before leaning down to pet Indy. “Hello, darling,” he then greets Emma, kissing her cheek before wrapping her up in a hug. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good, good,” Emma insists, her eyes still blown wide as if she’s actually been shocked. He knows she’s still a bit rattled from the flight and her nausea. The same thing had happened when they went out sailing the morning of their anniversary, before the disaster of the rest of that day, and even though he had been wary of it, Emma insisted she was fine. She never said she wasn’t, but the green of her face told him otherwise. “How are you?”

“Kicking pretty high for my age.”

“You are not old,” she laughs, tugging on Indy’s leash. “Do you mind if I take Indy for a quick walk? Let her run around a bit. She’s been told she’s going outside, and I’m afraid she’ll freak out if she doesn’t get to go.”

“Of course, dear. I’ll chat with Killian, and the second you two come back inside, I want to hear all about how you’ve been since you left us to go holiday in the warm sunshine. I swear it’s rained for the past week.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Emma takes a step over toward him, leaning up and kissing his cheek, whispering that she’ll be right back before taking a step outside with Indy and leaving him with his dad.

“Do you want something to drink? Eat?”

“I’m fine.” His father begins walking to the living room, settling down into the recliner he prefers when visiting all while Killian sits down on the couch next to him, only a side table between them. “So how was your holiday?”

He almost chokes on his own saliva thinking of all of the things he absolutely cannot tell his father about their holiday as well as wondering if he should bring up the privacy issue just yet. He doesn’t know, is never truly sure about these types of things. He could have a nice, normal conversation with his father or it could turn into another tense, stressful one. He’s had enough of those for a lifetime, but he also knows that he doesn’t have all of the time in the world to fix this. He’s got fewer than four months, really.

“It was wonderful,” he finally answers, his lips ticking up on one side. It really was wonderful to get away with Emma and only have each other for awhile despite the disaster that was their anniversary. It got better, though. It wasn’t completely bad. They had the sailing trip and the takeout meal that was better than anything else they’d eaten if only for how comfortable they both felt. He felt his son move for the first time, which was bloody brilliant and most definitely his new favorite thing. “It’s a gorgeous island. Emma mentioned something about asking you to make our beaches like that.”

Brennan barks out a laugh, the wrinkles on his face all gathering together while his gray hair shakes the slightest bit. If Killian was a betting man, he’d guess his dad is getting his hair cut in the next two or three days, keeping up with his lifelong schedule of haircuts. “If only I could. That would be bloody wonderful. But I like the way she thinks.”

“She’s definitely a brilliant dreamer.” He trails off toward the end of his sentence, looking down at his hand and twisting his ring around his finger, his constant physical reminder of his lifelong commitment to Emma, as if he really needs one. “Can I talk to you about something, dad?”

“Of course.”

“I know, well, I know that things were different when I was a kid, that technology wasn’t as advanced, that I was a bit of a surprise child and that you were on the older side when I was born.”

“Well, why don’t you just call me elderly then, Killian? And you have absolutely no proof that you were a surprise child.”

His dad laughs when he speaks, but Killian isn’t finding a lot of humor in it, knowing that he’s likely going to upset Brennan with his words.

“What I mean is, I know you weren’t really, truly involved in my life. And I’m not blaming you or trying to make you feel…upset, but I need a very particular kind of advice that really only you and mum or Liam and Abigail can give. And I’m honestly not even sure you can give it.”

“What’s wrong, Killian?”

He takes a moment to collect himself, hundreds of words on the tip of his tongue but none of them feeling quite right. But he has to say something, so he might as well speak the truth.

“How the hell am I supposed to be a father in a world where I can’t protect the privacy of my wife and my child? There were, um, photographers who rented out a house and used scopes to take pictures of us on the beach. And Emma and I got into a pretty nasty argument about it. She’s worried…I’m worried about Andrew’s privacy. We want him to live a life as normal as possible. We don’t want photographers following him to school or to the park, and I just – I don’t know how to fix it.”

He’s been clenching his fist all while he talks, the tenseness in his hand almost painful while hot tears form in his eyes, every fault and every insecurity he’s had long before the fight with Emma coming back and assaulting his senses, making everything a dark, cloudy blur.

Brennan looks calm, secure, the blue of his eyes not changing while his eyelids rapidly blink, his brows furrowing and the lines on his face increasing. Has he said too much? Shown too much emotion? Asked for the impossible?

“The fact that you have very obviously beaten yourself up about this proves that you are a better dad than I ever have been.”

“That’s not what I meant, dad. I didn’t – ”

“I know, Killian. I’m not taking offense to anything. I was a poor excuse for a father for the majority of your life. I was focused on Liam, on my job, on the protocol and the way that my father raised Albert and me. All I knew was that fathers were not supposed to be close to their children, and as much as that hurt me as a child, I stupidly believed it. The fact that you have forgiven me is something I still can’t believe.”

He leans over and places his hand on Brennan’s knee, patting him before leaning back and wiping at his eyes. “I did it for me, but with the way you’ve worked to change, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, my boy.” His father smiles, settling back into his chair and crossing his hands together in his lap. “But this is not about me. This is about you and your family. So you don’t want Andrew in the public eye? At all? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I mean, we haven’t discussed it in serious length, but yes. I’m sure that Emma will be okay with releasing the occasional photo or having him join us when we go overseas so we don’t have to be apart from him, but I think we’re going to have to take a step back in traditions. And when he gets older, I think we may need to move somewhere much more private.”

The front door opens then, the alarm beep sounding at the same time that he hears the click of nails and the squeak of sneakers as well as Emma’s voice. He straightens up, fixing his hunched back and sitting against the couch in as much of a relaxed position as he can.

“Go find, Killian, girl, yeah,” Emma coos, her voice getting louder the closer she gets to the living room. And then she’s in view, Indy running in first and jumping up on the couch before getting down once she spots Brennan, less familiar people always more exciting than him. Emma walks toward him, sitting down in the seat Indy just vacated and reaching around him to tangle her fingers in his hair, stroking the strands. “What’s wrong? Your shoulders are tensed.”

How the hell does she always know?

“Killian and I,” his father answers for him, seemingly understanding that Killian wasn’t sure what to say, “were simply talking about how you two seem to be suffering from some privacy issues and are worried about your child’s future, that you want Andrew to lead a more private life than normal.”

“Oh,” Emma gulps, her hand stilling in his hair before beginning again, “well, yeah. I know that we all grew up differently and that my childhood isn’t really an option, but that’s what I want, what we want. We want him to be able to be a kid, you know? I don’t want him to be used to cameras everywhere he goes. I don’t know how we’d fix that, but that’s definitely my top priority right now. And forever probably.”

His hand finds Emma’s knee, thumb running back and forth over the material of her leggings while she speaks. He’s here with her, for her, consistently, and he hopes that she knows this.

“Why don’t you two give me some time to think things over? I’ll meet with security. We’ll work out some plans and ideas. You two should probably talk to Liam and Abigail. It’s not, well, it won’t be exactly the same. You have more freedom than them, and they’re not quite as private as the two of you. But they do have experience in all of this.” “Thank you, Brennan,” Emma sighs, leaning back into the couch and scratching at his neck, his eyes fluttering closed for a quick moment.

“Of course, but at the end of the day, above everything else, we’re a family. How you two feel is far more important than any sort of duty and tradition we have, even if I do ask that we stick to the important ones.”

“Actually, I have something else that I want to talk about.”

His head snaps to her, eyes searching for what she has to say, but she’s not looking at him, her gaze trained on the wag of Indy’s tail while her fingers tap over his on her leg, the hand in his hair having stilled.

“What do you want to talk about, love?”

She looks at him then, the smallest of smiles on her face that comforts him the slightest bit, before directing her gaze to Brennan. “I don’t want to walk out of the hospital all made up hours after giving birth. Kudos to Abigail. She is a badass woman for that, but that’s not what I want. Andy doesn’t need to be exposed to so many people as a newborn. I don’t need to be all dressed up when I’ve just given birth. I don’t care about tradition when it comes to this. This is what I’m doing, and I really feel like it’s the first step in taking a stand about him not being some kind of public property.”

He didn’t know she felt that way about any of that, nearly every word she said news to him, but he gets it, supports it. If that’s what Emma wants for this, that’s what they’ll do. He’s never quite understood that tradition anyways, and he likes the idea of a more private celebration with just them and their families while Emma heals and they adjust to the terrifying process of being parents for the first time.

“I’m not sure we can do that, dear.”

“What?” His head snaps over to his dad, trying to process the words. “You literally just said that how we feel is more important than any duty we have.”

“But that we need to stick to the important traditions, yes. New family members are an important tradition.”

“Brennan,” Emma grits, her voice strained as she tries to keep it friendly, “I respect our family and all of the traditions we have, but I am not some kind of human machine who’s only here to produce babies. Yes, of course this is a big deal, but it’s a big deal for us as a personal family, not as some part of the institution. You can still put the sign up, make any and all announcements you want. Hell, I’ll release a picture if we have to, but all I’m asking is that we’re allowed to leave and travel home in peace.”

“I agree, dad. I mean, really. Of all of the things we break and bend, of all of the things we change, surely you can let this one thing go? It’s not hundreds of years ago where people are faking pregnancies and paternities to keep the line intact, which was ridiculous then. I think letting family be family is the most important thing, don’t you?”

“Aye, it’s just…you’ll have to forgive me.” Brennan runs his hand over his face, visibly warring something within himself, the lines on his face stressing. “You were right earlier when you said things are different now. These are not things that I really went through with you, not as prevalent as you. Emma, dear, I’m sorry. I don’t…I shouldn’t have ever considered making you do something you’re not comfortable with. I love you dearly, and you and Killian know what’s best here, not me.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” Emma says, getting up from the couch and sitting down on the edge of the coffee table so that she can squeeze Brennan’s hand. “You are so brilliant, and you uphold this family so well. I know that I’m different, that it was difficult to accept me, but change can be good, you know?”

“I know.”

Brennan stays for a little while longer, hashing out a few more details with them before accepting a cup of tea and some food, finally listening to them talk about their holiday all the while scratching behind Indy’s ears, her eyes closed in bliss the entire time. It’s peaceful, relaxing, and he feels his shoulders loosen the longer the conversation goes on, Emma’s laughter and joyful voice sounding throughout the room. In the back of his mind, though, he keeps replaying the conversation, thinking of everything he said, everything they all said, and he’s amazed it all went as smoothly as it did, surprised that his father acquiesced to their private exit from the hospital so easily. He had no idea that Emma wanted that, and he wonders how long she’s been toying with the idea, how many late nights she’s spent worrying about bringing it up. He knows she didn’t just think of it now, that it wasn’t spur of the moment, and he tries to remind himself to ask her about it later, to make sure that there’s nothing else she’s hoarding inside.

She goes through enough, has gone through enough over the years, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to hold things back from him.

But he saves his thoughts for later, letting his dad leave and letting Emma take a nap, her eyes falling shut without her even laying down on the couch. He wakes her before she can get into too deep of a sleep, though, knowing that it’ll hurt her back, and helps her go upstairs to their room, ignoring the curses she’s muttering under her breath about him waking her up. While she sleeps, he goes downstairs to his office, answering emails and clearing out his inbox that he left alone while they were in Spain.

Summer is normally a slow time for them, June and July full of engagements while August is usually taken off to spend in Balmoral. Emma’s due in September, though, a few days after his birthday, and she’s not working after August begins. He is, though, doing his regular work and making a few short trips, making sure never to never travel more than three hours away in case he needs to be home.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have things to do now, organizing his files and reviewing the financials for Kidding a Goal until Indy comes walking into his office, her nails clicking against the wood until she’s staring up at him with her mouth wide open, tongue practically falling out of her mouth. He checks his watch and sees that it’s far past seven. He’s surprised she didn’t come and get him two hours ago.

“You ready to eat, my girl?”

That gets her tail wagging before she takes off, running toward the kitchen at such a pace that she’s probably there before he even gets up from his chair. Sure enough, she’s already waiting next to her bowl like the most well-behaved dog in the world, which is not something he expected when he and Emma decided to get a dog last year. But she’s done well, their training working most of the time, but Indy does have the tendency to lick his face when he’s sleeping. He’s not a fan of that.

But she’s his best bud and a constant companion on his runs, so it all evens out.

After feeding her, he hears footsteps coming down the stairs, Emma wandering into the kitchen with sleep-rumpled hair and pillow streaks on her face, her pajama top falling off of one shoulder. She immediately heads toward the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and some yogurt before settling down on a barstool.

“How’d you sleep?”

She grunts in response, opening her yogurt and eating a large spoonful. “I hate being pregnant sometimes.”

“So not well then?”

“Nope. I felt like my guts were all being squeezed out, but do you know who’s not moving now that I’m awake and out of bed?”

“Andy.”

“Yep.”

She keeps eating her yogurt, quickly finishing it up before getting another carton. He should probably fix something for dinner so she doesn’t consume the entire yogurt supply in their fridge.

“Hey, sweetheart?”

“Yeah?” she mumbles, pulling her spoon out of her mouth and looking up at him, her hair deflating the slightest bit from when she came down.

“You want to tell me what that was earlier? With my dad. When did you decide you didn’t want to do the public announcement?”

“Oh, um, I first thought about it a few weeks ago, but it was really driven home after last week. Why? You have an issue with it?”

“No,” he laughs, leaning down across from her and propping his elbows on the counter. “I think it’s bloody brilliant, that you are brilliant. I like that you want to do things your way…our way. It’s very sexy.” “Oh boy, if you’re looking to get laid right now that is not happening.”

“Well damn. Now I have no reason to compliment you.”

“Shut up,” she groans, tossing her spoon over into the sink, the metal clanking. “But seriously, you’re okay with all that, right?”

“Of course. I want you to do what makes you comfortable. I’m not the one giving birth.”

“Damn right. I think I’m going to give your dad a heart attack though.”

“Aye, definitely. I know he’s trying and he’s being accommodating, but I could practically see the fear of breaking traditions rolling off of him in anxiety-filled waves. But he’s seventy-three. Some things just aren’t going to change.”

“So basically we hit the jackpot today?”

“Yep.” He walks over to the fridge, opening it up and seeing what they have left over from before they left. “What do you want for dinner?”

-/-

“Bloody buggering hell,” he curses, bringing his thumb to his mouth and soothing where he just jammed his finger on the wood.

Building a crib should not be this difficult, but it apparently is. He’s been following the instructions exactly, making sure that each piece is doubly secure, and he’s not sure how it’s taking this long. He should be finished, this crib should be made, and he should be able to move onto the shelves or Emma’s glider that she was insistent on them getting.

He’s spent more time in this room in the past month than he has in any other room in the house, June somehow running away with itself all while he’s been hidden away within these four walls. It took a month and a half for he and Emma to decide on a simple light gray, one that he’s pretty sure is also in their bedroom, but honestly, once they both agreed on the color (likely because they have agreed on it once before), he wasn’t going to say anything else. He did pick out the gray-ish blue that’s on the wall with the shelves (or at least where they’ll go once he gets to them), so he’s pretty proud of it.

Neither he or Emma are much one for designing, though they have gotten a bit more into it since the remodel of the apartment, but he’s pretty proud of how Andy’s room is shaping up, even if the lad will stay in the bassinet in their room for awhile. It’s a simple room, clean lines and clean colors. All of the furniture are different shades of white and warm browns, woods really, with natural accents. Abigail gifted them a large wooden giraffe along with some leaf and animal prints, so those are sitting in the corner waiting to be placed after all of this furniture is built.

His favorite part, though, is definitely going to be the little sitting area by the shelves and the changing table. He’s not under any impression that this is going to be a calm room, a place to relax, but he figures there have to be times when he’s rocking Andy back to sleep in that very spot, the shelves filled with colorful children’s books that’ll become routine reading one day as well as being filled with several stuffed animals and photo frames that he can’t wait to update with pictures. Of course, the cabinets below will be filled with the essentials, the things no one likes to talk about like diapers and nipple cream (that was something Emma did not want to know about, and he honestly doesn’t blame her), but they’re definitely still in the dreamy, picture perfect nursery phase where the messiness of a child isn’t quite a factor.

Really to him, as much as he knows this is real, as much as he sees the physical proof, feels the physical proof (which holy shit is it incredible to be able to feel his son move), it’s still difficult for him to comprehend that in two months he and Emma will have a child. It’s something they’ve talked about for years, something they were planning on, but it’s difficult to put into words just how much love he has for his son.

And his wife.

She’s a rockstar in every sense of the word, and if he doesn’t mention it enough, Emma sure as hell will. He loves her fiercely, and that love is another thing that he can’t quite put into words. He honestly doesn’t understand men who moan and groan about their wives constantly. If anything, he finds it disgusting. Yes, you’re going to have disagreements with your significant other. That’s natural when you decide to spend your life with someone who has their own wants, needs, and opinions, but at the end of the day, his wife is his best friend. If there’s anyone he wants to spend time with, it’s her. No question.

If the answer to who your best friend isn’t your spouse or the person you’re marrying, he doesn’t understand why the hell you’d bother getting married. His mates are great, but they’re not Emma.

Maybe he is a bit of the cheeseball that Emma always claims him to be, but he likes it that way.

He’s definitely going to embarrass his kids. All of the time. He can’t wait. He’s got a few years, but he can’t wait.

“You know we can hire someone to do this, right?” Emma asks, a bit of laughter in her tone that makes him roll his eyes. His best friend, most definitely. The teasing is just a small part of that.

“Aye, but I’ve started it, and I intend on finishing it.” “Okay, but the crib doesn’t need to fall apart while there’s a baby inside of it, and the glider doesn’t need to fall apart while I’m sitting on it. That’s, like, a double disaster, and I know you lived by yourself for a long time, but I’m pretty sure you’re not capable of that anymore.”

“Oh, really? Because I was just going to make them as unsafe as possible so that I could live by myself again. I miss being able to stretch out in the bed.”

“You’re so funny,” she teases from the other side of the nursery where she’s putting away the washed clothes in the closet, organizing them by size. He swears they have enough clothes to last Andy for the first two years of his life, and that’s not counting the piles of things he knows David and Mary Margaret have at their house. “I think I may have bought him too much stuff. I don’t even think I own this many things.”

“You don’t mess your clothes up multiple times a day.”

“Good point.”

“I tend to make those.”

“Eh. Debatable.”

“Not at all debatable.” He turns back to the crib, looking at the instructions to see if he can remember where he left off before Emma distracted him. “Shit, this is impossible.”

“I can call my dad, babe. It won’t be a problem. He’s a bit handier than you.”

“Please, I am plenty handy.”

“Okay, well being handy with me is not the same as being handy when it comes to building things.”

“If we call your dad, he’s going to take over. I want to do some of this myself.”

“I will tell Dad just to help. Come on, babe, you love spending time with my dad.”

“Only now that he doesn’t give me the scary speeches anymore.”

“Yeah, I bet those were a lot of fun.”

“I mean, it’s been a solid half a decade since I’ve gotten one, but he still shakes me to my core.”

He hears Emma laugh, snort really, before she makes her way over to him, slowly settling down on the floor next to him and waving her hand until he gives her the instructions. She looks over them while looking at the crib, her eyes continuously darting between the two.

“You put part G in backwards. That’s why nothing after that is fitting.”

“Bloody hell,” he curses, reaching over and taking the instructions from her hand and checking to see if she really did just solve his problem, “how did you see that when I’ve been staring at it for the past hour?”

“Fresh eyes, my love. Fresh eyes.” She leans forward and kisses his cheek before falling back against the wall. “And that’s exactly why calling my dad and asking him to come over in the morning will be a great idea. I bet Mom will want to come too, and she does a mean job with a power drill.”

So Emma calls her parents who agree to come over in the morning. On top of moving, they’ve also begun to change around the hours of the pub, opening it earlier and letting Will close it out at night. And it’s because of this that they show up at eight in the morning, he and Emma both still asleep when their doorbell rings. Emma groans when she hears it, burying her face into his chest and making it impossible for him to get up without disturbing her. He can feel Andy summersaulting around in her belly, and he smiles to himself knowing that she’s going to have get up. She can’t sleep when he’s moving around like that.

He can’t sleep when Emma’s basically running marathons in bed, but that’s not something he’s going to voice out loud. He can get up and sleep in a guest room if he needs to. Emma can’t get up and walk away from the person who’s running marathons in her stomach.

There’s two human feet inside of her. That’s pretty weird if he thinks about it too much.

Okay, so really weird.

Slowly but surely he gets out of bed, letting Emma flip over into his spot, and heads downstairs to open the front door. David and Mary Margaret have a key, but they never use it, always waiting for either he or Emma to open the door for them, which he appreciates after one too many times having them walk in on he and Emma.

“Hi,” he greets, opening the door and ushering them inside. “Emma’s still asleep, but I’m sure she’ll wake up soon. Do you guys want some breakfast?”

“We ate at home, sweetie,” Mary Margaret greets, giving him a quick hug before David does the same. “So Emma said you guys were having some issues in the nursery.”

“I believe that it was more like Killian not being able to put together a crib in under three weeks.”

“So funny, Dave,” he bites, rolling his eyes and locking the door. “I did eventually figure it out. I just think this mid-July heat is obviously getting to me. Or maybe nerves. I’m not too sure.”

“Well, let’s go help then. We’ve got to be at the pub at two, but I think we should be able to get things done.”

After he fixes himself some coffee, not nearly as wide awake as David and Mary Margaret, they head upstairs and begin working in the nursery, assembling the shelves and drilling them into the walls in half the time that it would have taken he and Emma had they done this by themselves. So maybe help isn’t all bad. Before Emma even wakes up, they have the shelves installed and pictures securely nailed on the wall. There are books already being stacked, stuffed animals and knick knacks being placed, and all of the fun nipple creams and breast pumps being placed in the cabinet.

They’re working on the glider when Emma finally wanders in, her hair falling out of its band so that half of it spills down her back while the other half is piled on top of her head, and she’s got her glasses on, something she only does when her eyes feel too puffy to put her contacts in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” David greets, finishing tightening the screw he’s working on before getting up to embrace Emma. “How are you feeling?”

“Rough today. I think the little dude’s a giant or something because he crushes my lungs and my bladder at the same time. So I can’t breathe, and I have to pee. So, yeah, it’s fun.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, dad. It looks fantastic in here. You guys have done so much. I feel like we’re not going to have anything to do in the next two months if we finish all of this.”

“That’s kind of the point, love.”

“Yeah,” she yawns, covering her mouth, “I know. Mom, do you want to come and rest with me in my room? My back hurts today, and I just can’t sit on the floor in here with you guys.” “Of course, hon,” Mary Margaret answers, walking away from the closet and stepping over to Emma before she rubs up and down her back. “Are you sure you don’t want Killian to join you? David and I would be fine to work on our own.”

“No, it’s fine. I bug him all day, and I’m kind of thinking that you can paint my toes for me or we can watch movies or something. It’s been awhile since we’ve done that.”

“Text me if you need me, love,” he tells Emma, his eyes tracing over her in a bit of concern. It’s difficult watching her be uncomfortable or miserable on some days when he literally can’t do anything about it.

“Yeah, babe, I will.”

Emma and Mary Margaret walk out of the room, their voices fading away as they walk into their bedroom one room over, and he’s left with just David who promptly gets back to work finishing building the chair. Music plays in the background, an eighties’ playlist he thinks, and it doesn’t take longer before the chair is completely together and he’s sitting in it testing it out. It’s comfortable, probably one of the best seats they have in the house, and he can definitely understand why Emma insisted on this one after shopping around a bit.

“How does someone so small have so much stuff?”

“My child is twenty-eight years old, we don’t even live in her childhood home anymore, and I swear things of hers still pop up all of the time.”

“That’s likely because Emma leaves everything all over the place.”

He folds his hands behind his head, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth while Cherry Bomb plays in the background, which is definitely not a nursery appropriate song. Or maybe it is. Who needs Mozart when you can have The Runaways?

“So is Emma like that every day?”

“Like what?” he asks, popping an eye open to look at David who’s sitting against the shelves, which can’t be good for his back. God, how old is he getting if his first concern is for someone else’s back?

“Exhausted.”

“No, not every day. She’s usually got a hell of a lot of energy, even if there’s always a nap. I think she had a restless night. She’ll tell me like it is, though. If she’s having a bad day, she’ll let us know.” “What about you?”

“Well, I don’t have a baby crushing my lungs and my bladder.”

“True,” David laughs, running his hands through his short hair. Killian swears it’s gotten more gray in the past year, the blonde nearly disappearing. David is only fifty-two, so he’s not exactly older. Hell, if it weren’t for the wrinkles on his forehead and the gray hairs outnumbering the blonde, he’d look much younger. “But I remember being a dad for the first time. It’s terrifying, so you’re allowed to be scared.”

“I am. It’s…” He reaches up and scratches behind his ear, his hair getting long enough that he knows he needs to get a haircut soon. “Emma and I try to make sure that we keep up our normal routines, that we have our normal conversations without talking too much about the baby, but it’s kind of hard, you know? It’s like we’ll be talking about going out to eat and two minutes later we’re making a list of middle names or speculating if he’s going to look more like me or Emma.”

“I know. But it’s an exciting time, Killian. There will never be anything like it, and if you want to talk about the fact that you’re having a kid, you should. You and Emma have been together for so long, and I really don’t think your relationship is going to struggle if you’re not sitting around making references no one else understands for hours on end.”

“Oi,” he protests, resisting the urge to pick up the toy elephant next to him and throw it at David, “that is your daughter you’re mocking, and she can still kick your ass.”

“Trust me, I know. Who do you think raised her to be like that?”

“Mary Margaret.”

“You’re walking a thin line.”

He winks at David, his lips ticking up on the right into a smirk. “I know. You and Mary Margaret did such a good job, still do such a good job, and even with all of the times you’ve messed up – ”

“ – which is a lot more often than even Emma has probably told you.”

“I just…you’re a good dad, Dave. To Emma, to me. I hope I can do half as good as a job.”

“You’ll be great, Killian.” David smiles at him, something genuine, and Killian’s reminded of how much David really has impacted his life in all of the best ways. “I promise. And as much as I love you, I do love my little girl more, and she’s going to be amazing. She’s always…she’s never been too open to a lot of people, but the people she loves, she loves so fiercely, you know? And she’s already doing so well at being a mom. She’ll call me at nights, and I can just hear the happiness and excitement in her voice. At the end of the day, that’s all you want, you know? For your kid to be healthy and happy.”

“Yeah, I know.” He smiles to himself, thinking of how happy he is. “Also, how dare you imply that you love your own daughter more than me. I thought I meant more to you than that. I thought we had something special, man.”

“I can still give you hell. I’d watch yourself.”

He and David finish up in the nursery for the next few hours until David and Mary Margaret have to go to work, leaving after the three of them eat lunch down in the kitchen, Emma staying upstairs for a nap. When the Nolans are gone and he’s finished eating, he heads upstairs, bypassing the nursery and walking into their bedroom where Emma is sitting up on the bed watching TV.

“Your toes look nice,” he compliments, grabbing onto her big toe and moving it back and forth. “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, twisting onto her back and scooting up the bed, “it’s just one of those days, you know? I’m not usually this miserable.”

“I know, but it’s okay to have bad days, love.”

“Come here,” she tells him, crooking her fingers and motioning toward him before she turns on her side and wraps her arms around her pillow. He does as she asks, kicking off his sneakers and crawling up into the bed, the mattress moving against his weight until he’s pressed up behind her, his knee stuck between her thighs and his arm wrapped around her waist while the other rests above her head. This is how she’s been comfortable lately, and he can’t say he minds. “Did you guys get a lot done?”

“Aye, it’s almost all finished.” He moves her hair off of her neck, placing a kiss there before resting his chin on her shoulder. “It just needs your finishing touches, I think.”

“And we have to unpack all of the boxes that are in the guest room and put them away in the closet.” “That too, but we’ve got time, Emma.” She hums, and he can feel the vibrations as well as Andy moving around under his touch, the movements following how he taps his fingers. “Has he been active today?”

“Not since I woke up, but he always responds to your voice.” “Yeah, he recognizes me?”

“Of course, you talk so damn much. How could he not?”

He turns his head and presses a kiss against her jaw, biting a bit just to tease her. “You are not a very nice woman, my love.”

“Oh please, I’m, like, the seventh nicest person you know.”

“Seventh?”

“I figured it was conceited to put me at number one.”

“Possibly.” He moves his hand against her stomach again, snaking his fingers up under her pajama top so that he can feel the warmth of her skin. “So he really does get more active when I talk?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird to think about, but it’s true. He likes when you talk. I think it’s because you’re a much better story teller than me.” “I mean, obviously.”

“And that he’s probably just glad to hear someone else besides me. Imagine being stuck with someone for nine months. Good God.”

“Well, I’m stuck with you for forever. Good God.”

She groans and curses him under his breath before she scoots over and turns in his arms, slowly but surely moving to face him. “Don’t be an asshole. Also, so I was talking to mom today, and she wants to be called Mimi. I think Dad wants to be called Papa, which I like as long as that’s not what you want. I know that’s what some kids call their dads.”

“Aye, it’s what Lizzie calls Liam, which is weird since Alex doesn’t do that. But I’m okay with dad or daddy, so David can be called Papa.”

“Yeah, I kind of like it. Mimi and Papa. And then your parents are Gammy and Grandpa, right? That’s what Alex and Lizzie call them.”

“Aye, but I know Mom didn’t want to be Gammy. It’s just what happened. She says it makes her feel old.”

“Your mom is not old.”

“I know, but considering your parents are barely fifty while my parents are in their sixties and seventies, it doesn’t help.”

“I’ll tell my parents to get older then.”

He smiles at her before closing his eyes and settling into his pillow, letting his head sink down into the softness. It’s calming in here, the lights turned off and curtains closed while the ceiling fan hums a steady rhythm above them. He could fall asleep like this even if he’s not the biggest fan of naps, always somehow ending up groggy when he wakes up, and it doesn’t help with the way that Emma is playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, her fingers scratching into his scalp.

“Are you working tomorrow?”

He pops an eye open, looking at Emma and smiling when her nail hits a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. “Aye, I’ve got the Investiture ceremony at ten. Why?”

“Just wondering. I was thinking we could go somewhere. Just us. Maybe take Indy to Berkshire and let her run around, spend some time outside.” “We can do it in the afternoon, if you want. I think the weather is supposed to be nice.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, leaning forward and sliding her lips over his for a brief moment, “I think that would be nice.”

The next day after he’s finished with the ceremony, he hurries home, changing out of his suit and into shorts and a t-shirt, slipping a baseball cap onto his head and grabbing something to eat for lunch while Emma does the same, her hair falling out of the back of her hat in a long ponytail. They’ve got all day, but the afternoon’s weather is pleasant enough that he’d like to go now so they can stop by a café for dinner, even if that’s the absolute last thing that Thomas will want them to do.

They want their privacy, but they should be able to go out to dinner.

So he and Emma load up into his car, letting Indy sit in the backseat with the window rolled down so she can feel the mid-July breeze blow through her fur. It doesn’t take long to get to Windsor, pulling into their parking garage less than thirty minutes later, and instead of going inside like they’d usually do, he hooks Indy up to her leash while Emma grabs some water bottles and they head to the private gardens, avoiding the visitors wandering around on tours.

As much as he prefers the spring, mild July days are near the top of his list of favorite things. Everything is brighter, more pleasant. The grass is actually greener, the flowers contrasting against their background to create a landscape of whites and shades of purple, while everything is covered in a clear blue sky, only a few white clouds scattered throughout. New life blooms, and he gets to be the one to appreciate it, to revel in it. England can be so dreary sometimes, the weather somehow reflecting the moods of most people on their morning commute to work, so he appreciates when it’s not. He’s always loved the outdoors, and if there’s any complaint he has about his home, it’s the small private garden that they have to themselves. He���d like something larger, more space to run around, and sometime in the future, he and Emma plan to spend more time in Bucklebury so that they have the privacy.

That’s what they’ve decided on since returning from Spain last month. There’s been more lengthy, draining discussions with his parents and their security team than he’s ever wanted, and as much as he feels like they haven’t really accomplished anything, he knows it’s a slow process. Of course, there are drawbacks to every positive. They’re still going to have to spend most of their time at Kensington. It’s closer to their work, to their families. Hell, Emma’s parents just bought a house so that they could have the ability to spend time with their grandchild, and now they’re going to move away from them. It’s less than an hour drive, but it’s not nearly as close as they currently are.

But everyone understands, and they don’t plan on moving any time soon, not until Andy’s a bit older. They want to be near all of their loved ones when he’s younger, and they’ve spent so much time working on their home, making it exactly how they want. It’d be difficult to leave full time, so it’ll be nice to have the option of both.

It’ll be even nicer to give Andy the most normal life that they can possibly give him.

Emma whistles next to him, her fingers between her lips, while Indy runs back to them from where they let her loose. She was about five seconds away from jumping into a pond full of fish, and as much as they’d usually let her swim, they don’t need to have a wet dog with them for the rest of the day. So she runs back to them as quickly as she can, her legs leaping in the air with her black and white fur bouncing the slightest bit. He’s convinced that she shouldn’t be able to be that quick, but she’s still just a young dog, less than a year old, and though her legs will get longer, he doesn’t think she’ll ever be full of this much energy again.

If she is, he and Emma are definitely in over their heads.

With the dog.

He’s going to choose to not think of what it’ll be like with a toddler than can run and a dog that he can run after.

After she calms from her almost pond dive, Indy walks along in front of the two of them, occasionally wandering off the stone path to sniff around in the plants, nearly tearing up several flowers until they call her back to keep walking. They stay wandering for a little over two hours, not caring where exactly they’re going or if they’re circling back around in the same spots. Indy and Emma get tired around the same time, so they settle down onto a stone bench with a patio cover that’s next to another small pond.

In the distance, he can see the Chapel where they were married, the steeple rising up above the other buildings and stone walls, and he smiles to himself thinking of that day. In the grand scheme of things, he knows that when it comes to he and Emma, as important as it was, they had so many smaller, inconsequential days that he holds just as fondly in his heart.

But that was a pretty damn good day.

He stretches his arm out over the back of the bench, wrapping it around Emma’s shoulder and tangling his fingers into the ends of her ponytail while she leans her head on his shoulder, the bill of her hat hitting him in the chin for a brief moment. He’s glad she suggested them getting away from London for a little bit, for suggesting that they change up the routine and spend a day enjoying summer, especially since they’re missing out on Scotland with the rest of the family.

A month in the same place as everyone is likely a bit long, anyways. He loves his family, but that’s a lot for anyone.

“I love you, you know?” Emma asks out of nowhere, her gaze never falling away from the rippling of the water in front of them, a fish leaping up out of the water while the lily pads float around.

He squeezes her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm and kissing her head even if she can’t feel it through the hat. “I know. I love you too.”

[kalliekite-blog]

not just a groupie part 2

roger taylor/ben hardy fanfiction

warnings: swearing + roger taylor hotness

disclaimer: this isnt historically accurate or good at all im sorry

words: 2500 i think?

A couple weeks pass, and I start to grow closer and closer to the band, constantly going to their gigs than going out to eat right after. It was Christmas Eve, and I was talking to my dad over the phone, missing him dearly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask him, biting my lip in nervousness as Brian and Deaky look at me, giving me tips as I told him I couldn’t come home for Christmas.

“Sweetheart, I have Diane. We’re going to New York!” My American father spoke happily.

“I guess. I love you, dad. Call you tonight.” I said, hanging up when he said goodbye.

“See! How hard was that?” Brian said, putting his arm around me and hugging me close, as Deaky high fived me. We were in Brian’s apartment, hanging last minute ornaments for Brian hadn’t gotten a Christmas tree until this morning.

“So Christmas Eve dinner here, sleeping here, Christmas here, and then recording studio?” I say, chuckling.

“That’s a lot of Queen for two days.” I laugh, hanging an ornament that has Brian’s baby picture upon it.

“You know you love it,” Deaky said next, tripping over the many boxes filled with ornaments. I nodded, knowing he was right, I was so excited to spend my favorite holiday with my best friends. Soon enough, Mary and Freddie barge in giggling. Mary comes over to hug me, as now we are extremely close, spending almost every waking hour together. Freddie and Mary were now dating, they were the cutest couple. Roger walks in, sunglasses on and his long blonde hair down to his shoulders as always. I watch him come inside, a smirk spread across his face as he sees me.

“Hey Rog,” I say, starting to call him that nickname because I know he loves it when I call him that. His smirk spreads wider, winking at me suggestively. Brian saw this and cleared his throat, glaring angrily at Roger. He smirks at Brian, walking past me and into the kitchen, setting his drinks that he brought down. Mary had picked out the dress I was wearing, a tight red dress that was quite short, along with a white faux fur jacket. I knew it was a good outfit the second I had walked into Brian’s, his eyes looking me over.

“You look amazing McKenzie,” Mary told me, smiling as she looked at my outfit.

“All you,” I replied, actually enjoying this new look of mine.

“Okay. Dinner in ten, and we can have a few drinks, and Santa will come!” Brian exclaimed sarcastically. I laughed, walking into the kitchen to check on the steak.

“Like the dress, love,” Roger said as I opened the oven. I nodded, ignoring the heat that flushed to my cheeks. This flirting between us had gotten even stronger, him always putting his hand up my thigh, while in the recording studio him sitting next to me, his arm around me. I haven't shown any interest, but we both know how he makes me feel. No girls have been with him recently, and I know that made Brian angry. I think that’s partly why he does it, to make him angry.

“I think you’ll talk to me after your present.” He said, resting his arm against the countertop, peeking his head close to mine. I shut the oven door, releasing it needs a couple more minutes. I face him, smirking but trying to conceal it.

“Is that so?” I ask him. He nods, a smile creeping across his face, coming closer to me.

“Yeah, you’ll love it.” He whispers in my ear, making goosebumps spread across my body, and he walks back into the living room, leaving me speechless. Mary than walks in, giggling. She holds a drink in her hand, still laughing.

“You and Roger. Jesus, I could cut the sexual tension with a knife.” She says, filling up her drink a bit more.

“Mary, what’s going to happen tonight? I may have to sleep in the same bed as him, they’re only three. Maybe I could crash on the couch.” I worry, biting my lip again.

“Taken. Deaky’s sleeping on the couch so you’ll probably sleep alone, maybe Roger and Brian will share a bed.” She giggled at the thought of Brian and Roger sleeping together.

“Roger has been talking about you though, to Freddie. He really likes you.” She says, looking at me.

“I know, he told me. How he sees me as more than just another hookup. But, we haven’t even hooked up, he just flirts and I flirt back, it never goes anywhere.” I say, grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

“It’s gonna happen soon enough McK. You just gotta let it happen.” She says, and she walks out, smirking. I sigh, taking a huge swig of beer and walking out after her. Roger was sitting on the couch, cigarette in hand, bickering with Brian about smoking in the house. Mary and Freddie were hanging ornaments, and Deaky was scribbling in his notebook. I sit down next to Roger, snatching the cigarette out of his hand and taking a quick puff.

“McKenzie!” Brian spoke, grabbing it out of my hand and putting it in the ashtray.

“C’mon mate. Perfectly good cigarette.” He said, glaring back at Brian. I snickered, crossing my legs as I fish for my pack. I take it out of my coat pocket, as right as I open it a large hand snatches it out of my hand.

“What the hell, Brian?” I say, standing up, my dress coming up right below my butt, but I didn’t care.

“Smoking kills, McK.” He says laughing. I roll my eyes and reach to get it, but he swiftly turns around. I sigh, giving up and sitting back down. Mary brings the steak out to the table, and my stomach rumbles at the smell, realizing how starving I am. I get up and walk to the table, pulling my dress down as I can feel Roger’s eyes on me. I sit down at the table next to Deaky, Brian looking upset as Roger sits down next to me.

“Thanks so much for coming tonight, you all are truly my family, I love you all. Let’s get a cheer for Queen!” Brian exclaimed, raising his glass.

“To Queen!” We all said, our glasses tinging together. I smiled and took a sip, soon digging into my meal. I spoke with Mary about our plans while the boys were recording, and decided we would watch them for a bit then go for dinner. Soon enough, Roger’s hand fell right above my knee, as it usually was when we're together. His hand crept up farther up my leg, now only inches away from the tip of my dress. I took a huge sip of my drink, wanting nothing more than to put his hand up farther. Brian glared at Roger, as Roger was smirking at me as if he knew what he was doing to me. I stared ahead, listening to Freddie as he goes on and on about this new song he wanted to make. Roger’s hand crept farther and farther up to the end of my dress, playing with the fabric. I moved his hand off of me, not wanting to start anything at the table, but regretting my decision once his hand left me.

“I know you actually don’t want me to stop.” He whispered in his raspy voice, which made me look back at him in anger and lust, taking another colossal gulp of my drink. His hand stayed off of me for the rest of dinner, but I longed for it to be somewhere farther up my dress. Once dinner was over, it was quite late, and I was excited to open presents the next morning. I started to clear the table with Mary, the boys helping out here and there. Freddie and Mary soon disappeared into their room, giggles escaping from outside of the door. I laughed, washing a couple of dishes before going into the bedroom that I either had to myself or with one of the guys. I started to undress, making sure I locked the door before I took off my dress, putting on a short nightgown, tying my hair up into a ponytail. There was a knock on the door, and I opened it to see Roger, who was smirking.

“Hey, love.” He said, leaning his hand on the doorway.

“Rog,” I said back, knowing how much he loved when I called him that. He frowned, waiting for me to invite him in. He walked in himself, shutting the door behind him.

“Are you and Brian sleeping together?” He asked abruptly, and I quickly look at him in complete shock.

“What?!” I shout, offended by his question.

“No! No I mean like in the same bed, they’re only three! I- I was just wondering, not that! Not the other, um, thing.” He says, obviously worry shown in his eyes. I laugh, relieved.

“I don’t think so. Thought you two would be sharing a bed.” I joke.

“Very funny.” He says, not amused.

“No, no Rog. It’d be funny. You to would be in the same bed, maybe a little slip-up and-“ And then his lips are on yours. I stopped for a spirit second, going over the choices I could make, but I pushed them aside as I kissed Roger back, my hands going around his neck, softly playing with his hair. I feel his tongue in my mouth already, his soft lips against mine. I can feel a smile spread across his face, as he lowers me gently onto my bed, making my heart race. My hand reaches into his shirt, instantly feelings his abs, he starts to take off his shirt, so I’m in full view of his naked torso, my heart beating faster and faster. He leans in to kiss me again, my hands moving to cup his face in desperation. His lips go to my neck, sucking and nibbling as I pull him closer to me, not wanting to be anywhere else but here.

“What the hell?” A voice says as my door opens, and I look and see Deaky, standing in the doorway. I quickly push Roger off of me, my cheeks flushing.

“Just needed an extra blanket.” He says, reaching a basket to pull out a multi-colored blanket. Roger wipes his lips, shirt still off. Dinky winks at Roger and starts to leave.

“Stay safe.” He exits with, shutting the door in the process. I lay back on my bed, completely humiliated.

“I’m going to bed,” I say, even though I want nothing more than to continue. Roger looks stunned.

“You want me to leave? After what just happened?” He asks me, shirt still off.

“I’m sorry, Rog,” I say, feeling my neck as I realize the hickey that’s starting to form.

“Fuck,” I say, and Roger is soon putting his shirt back on, looking at me in desperation.

“Goodnight McK.” He says, smiling at me before he closes the door.

The next morning I’m awoken by a loud bang in my room, making me shoot up in my bed, terrified.

“Just me love,” Mary says, coffees in hand.

“Aw, thanks, dear,” I reply, grabbing a coffee in her outstretched hand. She sits down, and suddenly squeals, making me spill my coffee onto the blanket below me.

“Holy shit! A hickey?!” She yells, almost as if she wanted everyone in the apartment to hear her.

“Shhh!” I scolded, my hand going to touch my neck.

“Roger?” She asks, and I nodded, ready to hear the scream she was about to let free and sure enough heard seconds later.

“Did you guys?” She asks and I shook my head, telling her everything that happened.

“But if Deaky hadn’t walked in?” She asked, and my face turned red, honestly not knowing what would have happened.

We kept talking for a little bit, some about her and Freddie but mostly about Roger and I, until we heard a banging at the door.

“Enough girl talk present time!” Brian yelled. We both got up as we walked into the living room, the tree lit. Mary had helped me cover up the hickey as much as she could, but if you looked closely it was clearly visible. I sat down next to Roger and Brian, excited to open my presents. Roger smiled at me as I sat down, and I experienced the same butterfly fluttering in my stomach as I always did when he looked at me. I know he noticed my hickey, for he chuckled to himself and when I asked what, he just smiled and said;

“Just admiring my work.” He said, receiving a glare from Brian, who didn’t know what he was talking about. Mary started to giggle, much to the notice of Freddie. Freddie stared at her then back at me, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Anyway,” Mary said, reaching down to give Freddie a present.

“This is for you.” She told him, handing him a green and red covered present, with a silver glittery bow propped on top. As he opened it, Mary’s smile grew bigger.

“My goodness darling, it’s amazing.” He exclaimed as he pulled out a white and black scarf, perfectly his style. Mary and Freddie shared their moment, Freddie making a joke and Mary laughing, putting the scarf on for him. I soon give my gifts to Brian, Freddie, Deaky, and Mary, all of them loving them which surprised me because I was never very good and picking out gifts. Next was Roger, and as I handed him his gift, his hand swept over mine, sending goosebumps down my spine. He opened the mini box, and when he saw the gift, his mouth stood wide open.

“McK, holy shit.” He said, taking out the drumsticks I had gotten him. Engraved in the wooden sticks was Rog, the nickname he loved. I smiled at him as he looked at me, hugging me quickly.

“Thanks.” He whispered into my ear. I hugged him back but felt a sinking in my stomach. I truly didn’t know how Roger felt about me, and if I was just another girl. I let go, pushing my hair behind my ear as he handed me his present. I didn’t expect much of it, as it was Roger after all. However, when I opened the box I burst out laughing. Inside was a tiny box, sitting on around a dozen packets of cigarettes. I opened the box, only to smile softly, picking up the silver necklace with the letter M on it. I looked up at him to find his bright blue eyes staring back at me, this time not a smirk but a big smile.

[srtringbean]

First Love Part 8 Teaser

Hello hello my loves I am finally back with the finally chapter :’) Sorry it took me so long to finally update, a lot has been happening and I had to take a break from writing and have me time. This chapter is going to be very long so I hope you’re comfortable. Also I have sneak peeks ready to be released soon for a new series i’m working on along with requests being open. Enough of me, here is the final chapter I hope you guys like it~

Part1  Part2  Part3  Part4  Part5  Part6  Part7

Genre: angst, fluff, smut 

Here is a teaser for the final chapter of this series~~ I apologize for pushing back the update but summer break is finally here so now I can whip up new stuff for you guys~ 

“Hey Kim have you seen my passport? I could’ve sworn I left it on my night stand two days ago….” You said while going through all of your luggage in case you missplaced it. What were you doing two days ago??? Maybe it was in your jacket? But you remember taking it out of your bag and placing it on the nightstand.

“Y/n you literally just had it you can’t be serious.” She judged you from across the room helping you pack your clothes.

“Yeah I know but I had it I swear… OH WAIT.” She jumped at your sudden outburst and looked at you basically run to wherever you were going like you were insane. You remember putting your belongings in a box that you were going to mail out. Opening the box, you went through it trying to find the black booklet. Right when you grabbed it you saw a picture frame with a picture of you and the boys together after wrapping up for one of their videos a while back ago. You kind of just sat there really staring at the picture, all the nerves inside you were tingling knowing you’d finally get to go back and although you were more nervous than ever, you smiled to yourself feeling content.

“Did you find?” Kim yelled shaking you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah! It was in the box where all my room decor was in. I probably put it in without knowing about it.” As you wrapped the frame back up you spent the next few hours packing this up. It didn’t take long for you find a place thankful to Yuri though you ended up telling her you’d rather stay at your old apartment. Of course your things would be coming in for another three weeks which was fine, but you didn’t know how to bring it up to Namjoon that you’ve officially moved back. In reality that’s what made you so nervous about this trip, the fact that you would be there and they would return from all their schedules not expecting you there. What would they say? Would they be happy to see you?

“Hey y/n you good dude?” Kim asked.

“Yeah, Im just nervous if I’m being honest.” She smiled at you taking a seat next to you. It felt nice knowing your sister would be there even if you lived far.

She sighed before speaking, “ You know, I’m really proud of you dude. Even if mom and dad never approved of your lifestyle, I’m pretty proud to call you my sister. I know it’s tough I can see it right through you but whatever happens between you and Namjoon, I hope you two can have some type of closure.”

“He can’t really be mad at you for leaving because that wasn’t a choice you wanted but you had to. He can be upset that you cut all forms of communication though because that was a choice you made. In the end of the day I can tell he’s very understanding and who knows, maybe he’ll give it another go. Now get some sleep because I have to drive your ass to the airport tomorrow at 3 in the morning and it’s 9. You need some sleep.” After you have her the okay she got up and left to her room while you continued to sit on the floor folding a few more shirts. It was nights like this where you would wonder what he was doing. Was he eating enough? Was he sleeping enough? Was he feeling lonely? We’re the boys keeping him company? It was a constant thought you had and most of the time they were actually true.

Of course time difference was big since they were a day ahead, but sometimes he’d catch himself taking more walks just to clear his mind. He misses you a lot of the time and even now unaware of your soon return, he wished he could see you. He misses the conversations you two would have about anything and I mean everything. Whether the topic was too personal or just about something dumb. What would he do if you showed up again? He didn’t even know how he would react to it if he did really see you again. Happy, he’d probably be ecstatic but who knows. He would ask himself if you looked different. Was your hair shorter? Was it another color? Have you lost weight? He still remembers how beautiful you looked even at your messiest state. How soft your skin was, your small round but sharp eyes, the way your bottom lip was pouty. Wow how he wished he could feel you hands run through his hair again. It had become a habit of yours to stroke his hair wherever he would lean on you or lay down on your legs. To be truthful, he would feel a pang if jealousy when the other members would ask you to stroke their hair, especially Hoseok and Tae.

“Hyung,” Jungkook called out throwing him out of his daze, “ Jin hyung is asking if you want food.”

“Oh yeah that’s fine I have some stuff to work on but I’ll be there in a bit.” He said fixing himself from his bed. Jungkook didn’t leave and when namjoon looked at the younger one confused, he walked inside and sat on his bed.

“Were you thinking about her?” Jungkook asked fidgeting with his fingers. Before namjoon could speak Jungkook continued.

“I’ve been thinking about her too, not in that way but you know. I miss y/n a lot. I know you miss her too because you doze off into your own world a lot more than you used to.” Namjoon listened to him talk about small memories and how much he really looked up to you.

“I do miss her, more than I thought I would.” He admitted.

“Do you think she’ll come back? Like for good?” Jungkook asked.

Hearing him ask that question really made him realize the reality of the situation. Yes he hoped you’d come back but who knew if you could.

“I hope so.”

[octannibal-blake]

Prompt 'im sorry i accidentally kissed you after playing house for bellarke

For you, nonny! This one got away from me, too. I’m not good at short drabbles apparently, but hey, who cares! Enjoy!

*

Bellamy’s life is perfectly together for the first time since he was five and his sister was born. She’s off at school and he’s only working one, stable job that makes enough for him to live comfortably. It took a while to get here, but he’s enjoying the freedom and the lightness. No longer does he hold the weight of the world on his shoulders. So leave it to Clarke Griffin to completely ruin his bliss.

He’s cooking breakfast for himself on this fine Saturday morning when she barges into his apartment (why he thought it was smart to give her a key, he doesn’t know) and asks him to be her fake boyfriend.

Which is problematic for him because he’s spent the last three years wanting to be her real boyfriend. They met in college, forced to work together on an art project (he took it because he needed another elective, and she’s an art major) and despite not getting along at first, they became best friends. Mostly because she’s a spitfire and he’s a dick and somehow the universe just knew the two of them would cause chaos together. It works. He’s been half in love with her for most of their relationship but the timing has never been right, whether one of them isn’t available or he just completely chickens out. Not to mention she calls him her friend all the time and while he’s not the kind of guy to believe in the friend zone, sometimes it’s really hard not to.

“What?” He asks stupidly, holding his spatula in mid-air having been distracted from his egg flip.

“My mother is coming into town and I need to prove to her I have my life together despite having not gone to med school,” She hops onto his counter and reaches over to his plate of bacon to snag a piece.

“But you don’t have your life together,” he says before swatting at her hand as she goes for another piece, “Quit eating my food!”

She pouts her lip and pulls her hand back with a sigh, “Thanks for reminding me. I just need to create the illusion I do, which includes using you as my significant other.”

“Why would having a boyfriend somehow mean you have your life together?”

She’s batting her eyelashes at him now, which always means she wants something ridiculous, “Well…maybe not just a boyfriend. Maybe a boyfriend…i live with?”

He drops his spatula with a loud clang, “You can’t be serious.”

She grasps his arm with both hands, “You’re my best friend, Bell! Help me look less pathetic!”

He still feels a slight twinge at the word friend but pushes it down, “Let me guess, you don’t want your mom to see what kind of travesty you live in?”

She lives in a small studio apartment that has no working air conditioning and also tends to get a mice infestation every few months. It’s pretty awful. They usually always end up at his place to hang out and, okay, she’s slept over on more than one occassion but always in the guest room!

“Also that.” She confirms for him and he shakes his head at her antics. He knows he’ll regret it, but if he’s completely honest he misses the company. He’s not fond of living alone and his place has felt eerily empty lately. It’s a dangerous line, doing the whole fake boyfriend thing especially when feelings are involved on his end, but she makes it very hard to say no.

When he agrees, the smile on her face makes it all worth it. God, he is so screwed.

*

It’s surprisingly easy to fall into domestic bliss with her, which doesn’t exactly help his case at all. The day before her mother comes, Clarke comes over with a bag full of items to make the apartment look more ‘equal’. She’s going for a very convincing argument. Pictures of them have been scattered around the place, some in the living room and a couple in the bedroom. She always forces him to take picture when they’re out so most of them are drunken one am photos. She’s taken over his bathroom placing her hygiene products all over the shower and hair products on the counter.

“Is that necessary?” He asks as she hangs a few dresses in his closet for good measure.

“I’m trying to be thorough,” She replies. By the time she wears herself out, it definitely looks like they live together. He has to admit, she’s dedicated. He also doesn’t mind having her stuff around. Having her around…

Things go relatively smooth from there. Her mother arrives and is friendly enough to him. She actually seems impressed which makes something like pride swell in his chest. It’s a nice apartment in a nice part of the city and while Clarke has mentioned her mother being a snob, he’s still satisfied by her approval.

Being best friends has given them a comfort around each other that has only been beneficial. They touch each other freely and it’s not weird and quite honestly, from the outside anyone could see they are a couple. He tries to build Clarke up to her mother, mentioning small successes she’s had with her art and okay, maybe, fabricated a little. Clarke beams at him as he dotes on her and everything feels natural.

It gets a little weird when they remember they’ll have to sleep together in the same bed. When she walks out of the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt he genuinely thinks about throwing himself out the window because she looks so beautiful standing there and yet they aren’t like that. Pretending to be her boyfriend has been easy but her mom is asleep and they don’t need to pretend anymore.

“I can put shorts on,” She says awkwardly tugging on the end of her shirt. Clearly she hadn’t thought this through before walking out.

“I’ve seen you naked, remember?” He tries to ease the tension but that might have been the worst thing to say, “Remember when I had to carry you home after the whole Finn dilemma?”

It seems to work, “Ugh, don’t remind me. That was not my finest moment.”

She had managed to get so drunk, standing was nearly impossible and he had to take her home. She puked on herself and like the knight and shining armor he is, he managed to bath her and change her before putting her to bed. She told him she loved him that night, but he’s not sure she remembers. He definitely didn’t bring it up.

She crawls into bed with him and they fall into an easy silence. He lies on his stomach and is just beginning to drift off when she says, “Thank you again, by the way. You didn’t have to help me, you know?”

He’s groggy when he responds, “You’re lucky I love you.”

His eyes snap open when he realises what he said and holds his breath.

She laughs gently, “I love you, too.”

Too bad, he thinks to himself, if only she meant it in the same way.

*It’s gets weird. And confusing. The following night he is in the kitchen cooking dinner for everyone when Clarke gets back from her walk with Abby. She joins him in the kitchen while her mom showers and he laughs when he sees the newly formed sunburn tainting her pale skin.

“Forget the sunscreen, princess?” He teases and she smacks him playfully on the shoulder.

“I didn’t think we’d be outside all day…” She mutters miserably, poking at the skin on her arm.

“Clearly,” he laughs before moving to the refrigerator to grab some aloe. He squeezes the goo onto his fingers and gently rubs it onto her skin. She watches him carefully, like she’s surprised by the intimate gesture.

“All good,” he says wiping the excess onto the dish towel next to him.

“Thanks, honey,” she coos and before he can react she pecks him on the lips.

He’s frozen, his lips burning from the contact. It was an innocent kiss but he felt it all the way to his soul.

Her eyes widen, “Shit…I–”

His mind is racing. Did she mean to do that? Does she know how he feels about Her? Does she feel the same? She regrets it, doesn’t She? He fucked up. This plan was stupid.

“Smells good!” Abby compliments as she enters the room and suddenly the moment is over. They step back from one another and he clears his throat awkwardly.

“I interrupted something, didn’t i?” Always the perceptive one.

He tries to make light of it all, “I was just telling Clarke about the benefits of sunscreen.”

Just like that, the moments over. Things go back to normal, he and Clarke continue the charade and he can’t help but wonder what happens when it’s all over.

*

By the end of the trip, Abby Griffin seems to be very pleased with the way her daughter has turned out, even asking that she paint something for her office at work. Clarke nearly bursts into tears. He’s happy to see that their relationship is on the mend, even if it’s partially based on a lie. It’s not that Clarke isn’t successful, just that she’s not that successful. She’s not living the dream like she hoped and she isn’t in some perfect relationship. He should be bothered by it, but he does get it.

He remembers how upset Abby was to find out her daughter was pursuing art. That was toward the beginning of their friendship and he’s seen their relationship go back and forth since. He’s glad to help, but he’s starting to wonder at what cost. How long can he continue to just be friends with her? He has to tell her.

When they go back into the apartment after seeing Abby off, things are quiet. She’s wanders idly about the living room, running a hand over the picture frames she brought with her. Now or never, he thinks.

“So…” He leads with, and it’s not the best thing he could say but he’s kind of at a loss.

It seems to work, though, because suddenly she’s wringing her hands in front of her and word vomiting all over the place..

“I’m sorry I kissed you, I just got really caught up playing house and it’s been nice and, I don’t know, I thought you were my boyfriend for a second.”

She looks so small and innocent now. Guilty, even. Which hurts because he doesn’t want her to be sorry about it.

He decides now is the moment. It was bound to happen, hell, it’s been building for a long time.

“I’m not sorry,” he says simply and moves towards her, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

She releases a long breath, like she’s been holding it in this entire time, “Really?”

He laughs and reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “I’m so in love with you, Clarke. I have been for a long time.”

It feel cathartic to finally say it. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, he’s just happy to have it out there. He didn’t realize how heavy it’s been, but he feels lighter now.

When she laughs, he worries for a second that maybe it was a mistake and he’s ruined their entire friendship. But then she throws her arms around his neck and kisses him, really kisses him like her life depends on it.

When she pulls back, lips swollen from the activity she brushes a thumb across his cheek, “I love you, too, by the way.”

*

A month later she moves in with him for real this time. Half her belongings were already there, anyways.

[awakentolive]

I chose him because the guy I wanted didn’t choose me. Is it really that bad, is what I’m going through something I deserved?

*** TRIGGER WARNING***

I’ve been single for pretty much a year and a half from an abusive relationship. I protected him when he was the most harmful to me. All 24 years of my life I’ve NEVER had a black eye and so many busted lips and bruises until I met the guy! I’m dark skinned, I didn’t even know that I could bruise! We were together for over a year and I found out I was pregnant right before my escape so I stayed a little longer. And I say my escape because I’ve always been independent, he moved in with ME and was financially stable from ME. I took care of him when he couldn’t even take care of me mentally or physically .

He told me that he’d stop fighting me since I’m pregnant and he doesn’t want me to miscarry . It took ONE time while I was at my weakest because I was sick af my first trimester and he took advantage. All because I told him I was going to visit my mother who stayed hours away from me and I didn’t get to see her often and haven’t seen her in over a year. He’s the reason she moved away from me, she didn’t want to watch her only child, her only daughter get hurt and couldn’t fathom me always making excuses for my abuser. I never in my life thought I’d be the one to be that stupid, that naïve, I never thought that I would be HER. Then I was alone with only him in a city where I knew no one.

After that incident I left and spent my entire pregnancy alone while he was in and out of relationships with different women. Which brings me back to him cheating on me as soon as we found out I was pregnant. My morning sickness was extreme & we stopped having sex for a couple weeks and when I got on his case he goes, “it’s not my fault u turned into a boring bitch.” Although that still didn’t make me leave.

Sometime after i left, me and my abuser got on better terms. But of course, I left and when I left I moved hours away, he wasn’t able to attack me any more. We made plans that in my last month of my pregnancy he come to visit so that he didn’t miss the birth of our child. He came down for 2 days the month before my due date. I thought he was staying for the rest of my pregnancy but I was fooled. He didn’t tell me that he was leaving, I happened to find out by him leaving his phone and a text message coming through from a woman saying that she was on her way. So of course I went through his phone because there’s been incidents of women popping up at my house and I had to fight bitches in my house and at my doorstep on behalf of this mf. I found out that he’s been in a relationship with out me knowing and he left his woman’s house because they got into an argument and came to my house. BY THE WAY, I got him to my house in the first place because he told me that he got kicked out of the place where he was staying at due to his friend and his woman arguing and she got mad and put them both out, so I paid for a $200 Lyft to bring him to my new home. Just for him to leave 2 days later! After seeing that, I BEGGED this man to stay! Literally bawling and on my knees looking like the MOST pathetic bitch a person has ever seen pregnant and all! Imagine it , 8 months pregnant, on my knees begging my abuser to stay! either way, he didn’t stay.

Shortly after, I ended up going into labor an entire month before my expected due date, but yet everything still fell back on me. I wanted him to be there for the birth of our child so I bought him a train ticket to my city and a Lyft to the hospital. I don’t even know if he actually wanted to be there but he played it off my entire pregnancy saying he wouldn’t miss his child’s birth for anything in the world. Yet, here I am going out my way while in labor to make sure he was there. Once he got there, he went through my phone with out me knowing. He didn’t start anything during my stay at the hospital it once I got released, everything started happening all over again.

He planned on staying with me at my house for more bonding time, which I allowed because he is the father. Everything was fine for about a week, he cooked, he cleaned & did everything that I couldn’t do so that I could rest and recover. Once that week was up, he went through my phone again with out me knowing. He seen that throughout my pregnancy I’ve been venting to a close friend I’ve know for 6 years and once my baby was born I sent him a picture. That made him extremely upset, that I was telling my friend “our” business and sent him a picture. He started yelling and cursing at me saying that if I’m so close to him then I should’ve fuck him . He kept arguing me down and then threw an open water bottle at me as I was holding my newborn son splashing ice cold water on the both of us & proceeded to storm up to me attempting to choke me, Causing me to drop my new born baby. Luckily I was sitting so it wasn’t a far drop but a drop is still a drop to an infant! As he stopped he taunted me saying that I was going to call the police and blamed me for the reason he’d get taken away from his kids. He then left. Went back to where he came from...

5 months later, he hasn’t seen my son since , only through FaceTime calls. But me as a mother, still wanting my son to have his father, I questioned why he doesn’t visit our son in person. He told me because I no longer allowed him to stay in my home and he couldn’t afford to get a hotel room and he didn’t want to visit our child for only a day. So guess what. I suckered up. I allowed him to come. Yet I still had to get him here. That visit lasted all of a day before I wanted him gone but he refused to leave. He went through my phone again. This time my phone had been disconnected for a month and he seen that I reconnected with some one that I used to talk to years ago (2015). He got upset about me fucking a man in 2015 because they know of each other and had just ran into each other prior to his visit. This time he didn’t put his hands on me but provoked me to the point I felt threatened enough to put my hands on him. Then the roles reversed, he started to preach if he doesn’t put his hands on me then I shouldn’t put his hands on him! After 2 weeks, he left again... this time when he left, I heard nothing from him. I gave up on reaching out to him.

A month later, he calls me, not to inquire about our child but to tell me what he’s been going through just to get upset with me for not feeling any sympathy towards him. By the way, he’s been in a relationship the entire time since my child was born. But this particular day, his girlfriend went to jail. He called no later than an hour after she was booked.

At that moment I realized that any feelings he has towards my son is not genuine and he only uses the fact that we have a child together as an insight to what I have going on in my life. Therefore, I cut off all ties with him. I understand that I’m supposed to give the other parent the opportunity to make mistakes as for he is the parent as well and our child will make the judgment on their relationship. I’ve tried to enforce that but it didn’t work. I’ve accepted it and washing my hand with it. I also understand that my child will ask about a father and when that time comes I’ll try to enforce it again. But at this moment, my baby is far too precious to be getting the shit end of any body’s stick. Especially with him being at an age where he doesn’t even understand.

Now I’m here, a single mother TRYING to heal but having the hardest time due to the tragedy and dealing with PTSD but I can’t help but to think if this is what I deserved for being selfish? Trying to use one man to get over the next ? Btw, this isn’t something that he’s even aware of so his anger couldn’t have even came from that.. how do I get over this hurt? Im so lost and confused.

I just want to be myself again...

[wosaegeansea]

Responses To Jury

inchresting

Seamus

Dan Hi Dan, my favorite color is red!

Daisy Hey Daisy, your vote off was more just about path of least resistance while also creating the best chance of someone winning a challenge against Drew. The path of least resistance part is because my goal final 5 after the Dani vote was Aqua/Jaze/Lexi/You/Myself because I felt I had the most control over what would have happened while having a strong shot at immunity. When Drew won immunity I truly believed taking you out would help ensure at some point Drew would lose immunity which he did the next round.

Your second part of your question was about me saying it "saved" you and several others. This is simply me not being able to explain things if I'm being honest. I should have said "forced drew to work with us, which would strengthen our alliance and help protect Steven and Lexi and Dani and Daisy." I cannot type or write to save my life, so again I'm sorry.

Now for compliments! (I'll do this in jury order) 1. Adrian: I truly admire your confidence in yourself and your ability to speak your mind regardless of where you are in the game. I usually try and refrain myself in tribe chats unless I am being spoken to or about and I think it's nice to see something different. 2. Dan: You seem very smart and dedicated to your studies. I have always struggled with school and every time someone has good attendance and always is studying is something I try to be more like. 3. Bodhi: You seem super energetic and like someone who is always willing to have a conversation/someone to go to IHOP with at 2:30 in the morning. 4. Karen: You are one of the few people in this community that has the respect of everyone and always seem to remain calm and try to treat others well (somethin you need to teach me to improve) 5. Steven: You are one of the nicest people I have met in this community and someone I'm proud to call a friend of mine. I really value our friendship here and irl. 6. Dani: You are one of the wildest people I've ever met and are beyond entertaining even if you keep calling me bobo the clown > : ( 7. Daisy: You are someone I truly didn't have much interaction with before this game and didn't know what to expect. I think you are extremely nice and funny, it seemed you always chiped in at the right moment in a conversation or had something smart to add/clarify 8. Drew: you are truly like the godfather of this community, no one dislikes you, you do amazing in games, and you somehow put up with all my shit. I'm sorry I can't spell or type or act like a normal human being but somehow you are smart enough (or maybe just have enough restraint) to deal with me and it does mean a lot to me. 9. Lexi: Lexi aka the Empress of India, coming into the game you were someone I was actually frightened to be on a tribe with after watching how well you did. You are a vary caring and genuine person, I felt whenever we would talk you were always straight up with me and that is very uncommon in games.

Dani Oh hello. I may be bobo the clown but I somehow still clowned ur ass honk honk! You should vote for me because I believe even though I didn't play a "honest/kind game" I still believe I played a strong game. I used alliances to further myself, which is the point of an alliance. Every non game related conversation I had was genuine. I played this game to win and I spoke to people to make friends. I don't see why they have to be mutually exclusive.

Adrian Hey Adrian! Well first I am going to apologize to you. I am sorry for voting you out and betraying you. I always try and separate personal relationships from games, which is something most don't accept/understand. I play games to have fun and sometime the odds aren’t in someone's favor and sometimes they aren’t in mine. I stook my neck out for you during the Lexi vote not because i thought it would necessarily help my game, but because you were my friend and hopefully still are. I voted Karen because i didn’t want to vote for either you or bodhi that round because i liked both of you. During the revote i voted you out because i needed to ensure trust in an alliance. If i played this game based on who I liked the most this would not be who I would be sitting next to at the end because I’m closer to others in this game. I hope for your vote, not because im your friend, but as a competitor and because of the game I played. Between the 2 others, i truly believe i played the best game.

Bodhi Okay so i didn't answer the other one’s as a rhyme because i just did them as they were sent so to make it up Imma write you a rhyme about Kansas!

Hey I live in Kansas, i hope this isn’t too corny Hopefully you like this, more than you love your porn(y) Hopefully voting for me, isn’t too thorny If you vote for me, I’ll make you some forni

Continents= 6

MEAN THINGS: 1. ADRIAN= GIRL YOU BLEW UP AFTER THE FIRST VOTE POP A XANAX PLEASE 2. DAN: For the love of god please change your profile picture, everytime someone says ur name this grinch baby troll thing pops up into my head!!!! 3. BODHI BITCH U SANK FASTER THEN THE TITANIC 4. KANEN JUST MARRY KENDALL ALREADY LIKE WE GET IT UR LEBANESE U SWING THAT WAY 5. STEVEN: EVERYTIME I THINK OF YOU I THINK STEVEN SNAIL AND IT MIGHT BE BC UR SLIMY 6. DANI: IF I HAD TO PICK 1 PERSON I THOUGHT WAS FROM WESTERN KANSAS BASED ON HOW THEY ACT GIRL IT WOULD BE U 7. DAISY: YOU NEED TO CHANGE UR NAME BC IM A WARLOCK AND CAN SENSE AURAS AND A DAISY SHOULD BE WHITE AND PURE NOT BLACK AND READY TO DO SHOTS AT 7:45 IN THE MORNING!!!! 8. DREW: SPEAK NORMAL PERSON ENGLISH! BIG WORDS= NO THANK YOU LIKE WE GET IT UR SMART U DONT NEED TO RUB UR BIG WORDS IN OUR FACES ALL THE DAMN TIME! 9. LEXI: QUEEN OF INACTIVITY, QUEEN OF KILLING CATFISH, BUT ALSO QUEEN OF SETTING THE RECORD FOR MOST TIMES VOTED OUT IN THIS GAME! OOOOOOOOOOH! Seamus

lexi Hi Lexi, so I will just start off with an apology again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for flipping on you when you were loyal and betraying your trust. I hadn't planned on it until the moment I told you. All day I was thinking about what to do and I made my decision and I know it upset you and again I'm sorry.

Now for you question, I think the point of an alliance is for the betterment of each individual member of said alliance. But just because you have a majority alliance doesn't necessarily mean you are in the best spot in the game. I play these games to have fun, meet new people, and to try and win. And if I don't like my position in a game I will try and change my position by any means necessary. I won't sit here and spew how I played a noble and honorable game and that I never told a lie because that isn't the truth. I played this game hard from the moment it started and played it as best as I could. That's what should earn me your jury vote. I tried in every challenge, I spoke to everyone and tried to work with everyone, and I made moves that others didn't or wouldn't. I burned some bridges along the way yes, but hopefully a internet game won't be the final nail in a coffin of a genuine friendship.

Steven HI STEVEN AND THANK YOU! MY BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING AND I MET SOME OF MY FAVORITE SINGERS AND IT WAS GREAT! https://media3.giphy.com/media/4xzOsxb7eJjsk/giphy.gif

Drew I'm going to explain by using kangaroo gifs. https://68.media.tumblr.com/33290ec73267c0563fea6ce612345b5d/tumblr_nunu8xYBxC1ues38qo1_500.gif this is you in this game. Everyone likes you and wants to pet you. https://68.media.tumblr.com/332560eb43a673806ba9f5a767d684ac/tumblr_oksptqkgJs1tfmrz4o1_400.gif that is our relationship. https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7qE5866bLg4VKabe/giphy.gif I kept trying to find a time to take you out before we finally aligned but I simply couldn't catch you https://68.media.tumblr.com/8098664402692064cf1535c093c60103/tumblr_onqfgkWwbI1v1iw1co1_400.gif https://68.media.tumblr.com/6665f4c8202b214671d3003937caa700/tumblr_odyvk8k9qL1v1frjoo1_250.gif and then we became allies. https://68.media.tumblr.com/88c452e8492eda108d743cae730f10e4/tumblr_no280p5GBY1rz1st5o1_500.gif We were the head hanchos but it was clear I was the Jackie because everyone dislikes me but like you https://media.tenor.com/images/7d8f2524a4c9e30e1b93bb9723e30b55/tenor.gif So I had to lie in wait for the opportunity to strike https://media.tenor.com/images/b8393cced8739e24459414e897579497/tenor.gif And finally found it at final 5.

Karen Hi Karen so this will a rather long answer but I truly hope you read it all. So I will just start off with the aspect of my nonexistent social game. I am not a "hello, how are you?" kind of person. In real life or on here. It's simply not who I am. If someone wants to tell me about their day I am all ears but I simply don't ask because I just assume if they want to talk about it then they will. And this isn't the case with everyone but that is me irl and here. If I am going to talk to you on here about nongame things then that is me trying my best to get to know someone. That's why I know about where people live and the schools they go to and the jobs they have and if they like their state and ect. I don't think, and never will claim, to have a strong social game, but I try my best.

I said this in my answer for another jury question; but I don't believe our jury responses have been released yet, My desired final 3 was Steven, Dani, and myself. Steven and Dani I get along with both socially and game wise and are people I felt comfortable going to the end with knowing they both were playing good games. When Dani got Steven voted out I realized I needed a new game plan and when I assessed the people left I saw several goats, and that's when I decided to try and bring 2 goats to the end. I don't believe I could have beaten drew or a few others at the end, so it was my best shot.

I agree with you that my gameplay wasn't amazing, it wasn't clean cut, and it wasn't very nice to my friends. I truly believe Drew played the best game this season and had he made it to the end he would deserve to win over everyone including myself. I think I played the best between the three, but I wont claim I played the best game this season no.

To you, and everyone else on the jury that I have hurt I am truly sorry. There isn't much more I can say other then I am deeply sorry for hurting you all, most of which I consider to be my friends. I didn't intend to upset/hurt y'all, and I hope for anyone that is upset that you will accept my apology.

Jaze

Daisy: Why would you ask a question when you know very well, no matter how I answer, you will not change your mind? Also, you were good at getting bad scores in tribal stage and not leaving.

Dani: Hey love. If I'm going to be honest, which I will since I keep it real, no. I can't. I was a fucking leech. Other people's power was my power. If one person dropped, I moved to another. I was a leech.

Adrian: Of course it faltered, especially when I caught ear of him wanting me out over Aqua. I figured that he would be gunning for my tiny alliance of three, and after the tribal council where Dani and I used the conjoined vote, I knew I should've suggested Seamus. Maybe then I would've had an actual move. I wanted to go back in time and tell Dani "Can we flip on Seamuck?". I proceeded to vote him at the Dani elimination. I had to trust him at final four, since he was my only chance of getting here. In short, yes, my loyalty to Seamus faltered for a small time near the end.

Bohdi: idk how to rhyme im bad at rapping and also there are either as many continents as you want due to the definition, large landmasses separated from each other by water, being very vague, so technically, if you think its large, it can be a continent to you

Lexi: I never spoke to you since I never thought you would be useful to my game. Plain and simple. In this game, I didn't find you valuable. I'm sure you are a lovely person irl though.

Dan: I am not one for initiating conversation, since I feel like a burden often. Also, EVERY time you initiated a conversation with me, AKA: twice, I responded and had a brief conversation with you. So don't go around libeling my name, when I made effort. Zero effort would be me not responding to you at all.

Steven: Vanilla. I also really like Wedding Cake and Orange Sorbet.

Drew: ,

Karen: Hey! Nice to see you too! Aren't you a bundle of joy? Sorry you feel that way, but I'm not sorry because I can't sympathize with irrelevant people! Have fun, sweaty!

Aqua

Bodhi

Per request I will answer all of my questions in rhymes This will be worse than the most violent of crimes

I got asked how many continents there are by a man in heaven So I responded with “There are seven”

Lexi

Dani is someone I was close with in this game Her elimination was a shame We were friends since the first day Now she is in the jury to my dismay I am friends with a man named Drew We made up from last season and our friendship grew He won a lot of challenges in the merge Therefore he fell victim to the purge

I cared about this game a lot Even though most of the times I remained quiet in thought I hope my rhymes can show that I cared Because I would hate for my effort to go unshared

Dan

I’m sorry that I never spoke to you I didn’t want it to look like I avoided you like the flu You weren’t someone who looked like I could trust At the end of the day, our relationship in game was unfortunately a bust If you don’t want to vote me that's fine I already know the win isn’t mine

Daisy

I wanted to keep him for a vote on my side When we spoke to each other we never lied I was very scared when people wanted me gone So I needed a potential vote I could call on Many members on the jury say that he is a liar So now those votes I may acquire

Adrian I’m glad that I got to meet you in this game, you are 100% the opposite of lame Bodhi I think that you’re really funny guy, your Karen vote made me cry. Daisy You were someone who I had a great time talking to, you never made me feel blue Dan I never really got to meet you, but it would be cool to chill out with you at a barbecue Dani You’re a really amazing friend, you will always be someone on which I can Depend Drew You were by far the best player on this season, not voting you to win would have been like treason Karen One thing I like about you is that you’re always real. Your cat cookie is sweet like Cinnamon Oatmeal Lexi You rejoined the game after leaving early, however you definitely proved yourself of being worthy. Steven I never got to know you very well, but from when we did talk you seemed swell.

Steven

One thing that I did that had a lasting impact Was when I voted out Karen to counteract All of the supposed votes that were against me However those votes never came to be

Adrian

For this question I cannot Rhyme I’m sorry Bodhi, don’t treat it like a crime

Now, From the time that you left, there were a few things that I did. I never really had a role in anything until the Karen vote. The Karen vote was good for my game for two reasons. 1, It took out an ally of someone who was bringing my name up, and 2, it decreased the target on my back and put it on Seamus as most people saw him as the person controlling it. When my votes didn’t appear, it looked like he was a liar, etc. Bur anyways, First Dani told me I was getting votes from Drew. Immediately I knew that Karen, Steven, Daisy, and Lexi would all have majority if Drew got them on board. So Seamus and Dani both said that we could use our Double votes to counteract it.

[7/10/2017 6:58:13 PM] Aqua Orcal: Do you want to vote off Karen? [7/10/2017 7:10:28 PM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): Yes

[7/10/2017 6:52:12 PM] Host Charlotte: Drew wants to vote you off [7/10/2017 6:52:44 PM] Aqua Orcal: So that's why I haven't heard jack [7/10/2017 6:53:53 PM] Host Charlotte: It's okay [7/10/2017 6:53:58 PM] Host Charlotte: We're gonna use our double votes [7/10/2017 6:54:18 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah [7/10/2017 6:54:28 PM] Aqua Orcal: Seamus and I are using ours [7/10/2017 6:54:37 PM] Host Charlotte: Who are you guys voting off [7/10/2017 6:54:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Seamus said Karen [7/10/2017 6:55:03 PM] Host Charlotte: Perfect [7/10/2017 6:55:05 PM] Aqua Orcal: At this point it's better than me [7/10/2017 6:55:37 PM] Host Charlotte: Talk to jaze [7/10/2017 7:05:05 PM] Host Charlotte: You might need to use your advantage to stay [7/10/2017 7:05:22 PM] Host Charlotte: Just make sure to talk to Jaze [7/10/2017 7:05:30 PM] Aqua Orcal: How so [7/10/2017 7:05:39 PM] Aqua Orcal: I can only use it against rewards [7/10/2017 7:05:47 PM] Host Charlotte: Cuz if they use their double vote [7/10/2017 7:06:13 PM] Aqua Orcal: Who still has it? [7/10/2017 7:06:19 PM] Host Charlotte: I'm not sure [7/10/2017 7:09:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: You need to talk to jaze in your pair chat and make sure that you both vote Karen [7/10/2017 7:10:01 PM] Aqua Orcal: Drew and Lexi still have their vote [7/10/2017 7:14:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Jaze told me he would [7/10/2017 7:21:03 PM] Host Charlotte: Drew is voting for u [7/10/2017 7:21:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: So I'm assuming that he has Daisy Karen and Lexi [7/10/2017 7:22:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: And Possibly Steven [7/10/2017 7:22:58 PM] Host Charlotte: No it's official [7/10/2017 7:23:01 PM] Host Charlotte: We have the votes [7/10/2017 7:23:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: Who else is voting with us? [7/10/2017 7:24:02 PM] Host Charlotte: It's gonna be 6-5 [7/10/2017 7:24:04 PM] Host Charlotte: We're good [7/10/2017 7:25:36 PM] Aqua Orcal: So everyone else is voting against me? [7/10/2017 7:26:30 PM] Host Charlotte: Probably

[7/10/2017 12:51:07 AM] Aqua Orcal: Hey [7/10/2017 12:51:21 AM] Seamus: HEY! [7/10/2017 12:51:29 AM] Aqua Orcal: What do you want to do with the votes this round? [7/10/2017 12:54:24 AM] Seamus: I am not sure yet, why did u have an idea in mind? [7/10/2017 12:55:02 AM] Aqua Orcal: I was asking you because I don't know what to do either [7/10/2017 12:57:10 AM] Seamus: let me ask around and see the general vibeeee [7/10/2017 4:01:26 PM] Seamus: I'm kinda nervous bc no one is talking to me [7/10/2017 4:01:32 PM] Seamus: if u hear my name please let me know [7/10/2017 5:23:03 PM] Aqua Orcal: No one is talking to me either [7/10/2017 5:42:48 PM] Seamus: do u care who goes home this vote? [7/10/2017 6:53:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: Well Drew wants to vote me out [7/10/2017 6:53:39 PM] Seamus: correct, would u be down to blindside Karen? [7/10/2017 6:53:55 PM] Seamus: u me dani jaze, plus 2 double votes [7/10/2017 6:54:04 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah I'm cool with that [7/10/2017 6:54:50 PM] Seamus: what score did u submit for the challenge [7/10/2017 6:55:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: 17,000 ish [7/10/2017 6:55:35 PM] Aqua Orcal: Ik Karen is being randomized because she didn't do it [7/10/2017 6:55:52 PM] Seamus: oh Karen didn't do it? neither did daisy phew [7/10/2017 6:56:14 PM] Aqua Orcal: Oh good [7/10/2017 6:59:53 PM] Seamus: (chuckle) this is what drew gets for gunning for us [7/10/2017 7:00:01 PM] Seamus: too bad its not him tonight hehe [7/10/2017 7:00:33 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup c: [7/10/2017 7:00:49 PM] Seamus: but if one of us beats him next time then :D [7/10/2017 7:06:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup [7/10/2017 7:06:49 PM] Aqua Orcal: Are you/me/dani/jaze the only people using double votes? [7/10/2017 7:06:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Or who can [7/10/2017 7:07:33 PM] Seamus: lexi and drew have one but they wont know this is coming hehe [7/10/2017 7:07:55 PM] Aqua Orcal: If they use theirs against me I'l flip [7/10/2017 7:08:02 PM] Seamus: isdnfnsdif [7/10/2017 7:08:16 PM] Seamus: the only person we need to worry about ratting our plan out is jaze [7/10/2017 7:08:25 PM] Seamus: like if we get him to vote Karen we r good [7/10/2017 10:26:11 PM] Seamus: We did it!!! [7/10/2017 10:26:27 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yesss! [7/10/2017 10:26:41 PM] Aqua Orcal: Tbh it was kinda underwhelming because they are messy af [7/10/2017 10:27:03 PM] Aqua Orcal: But at least we have enough communication skills to execute a plan [7/10/2017 10:29:06 PM] Seamus: ^^^^

I also secured myself and Jaze a spot in the final two by securing seamus’ vote for Lexi [7/25/2017 12:03:40 AM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): we need to vote lexi... [7/25/2017 12:17:53 AM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah I'm down with that [7/25/2017 12:18:01 AM] Aqua Orcal: I'm trying to get seamus to do the same [7/25/2017 12:18:10 AM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): alrighty

[7/24/2017 11:03:50 PM] Aqua Orcal: You won [7/24/2017 11:03:55 PM] Aqua Orcal: Congrats [7/24/2017 11:04:27 PM] Seamus: :d <3 thanks! [7/24/2017 11:05:41 PM] Aqua Orcal: You got first in everything and I got second in everything lol [7/24/2017 11:21:44 PM] Seamus: icons only do well in challenges :D [7/24/2017 11:22:30 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup! [7/24/2017 11:49:28 PM] Seamus: so what do u think for le vote [7/24/2017 11:54:42 PM] Aqua Orcal: I'd say Lexi [7/24/2017 11:54:54 PM] Aqua Orcal: I think she has more connections than Jaze [7/25/2017 12:22:51 AM] Aqua Orcal: I talked to Jaze and he is voting for Lexi [7/25/2017 10:04:04 PM] Seamus: I voted Lexi [7/25/2017 10:04:17 PM] Aqua Orcal: Alright [7/25/2017 10:04:24 PM] Aqua Orcal: Lexi should have 3 votes then

Karen

I know that Drew was the one who brought my name up You were only a victim of my blowup Since you were someone who was close with drew Drew could not be voted out so I had to settle with you

Seamus was a close ally of mine But our relationship wasn’t my only lifeline Dani and Jaze were two people who I was close to We voted together so our games would not go askew I made friends from back when we were on Tribes So going into merge I hoped to had positive vibes With those I could at least scope out a majority That way I would not leave, which would have been a pity (For me at least)

Drew and Dani did not ask me questions The only word that rhymes with that is suggestions

Now the jury, please send in your votes!