#im almost like ‘do i really need kafka?’

[artheresy]

I am crumbling I AM CRUMBLING

…I just…

I’ll go for Blade’s lightcone just so I can finally have Kafka, but after Kafka, I’m saving to eventually have E6S5 Blade, I just need at least one of her

But the urge to just go for him fully is so strong

Also holy shit, Dr. Ratio?? For free?? AND THEY MADE IT MATCH HIS LORE/PERSONAL VALUES??? That is genuinely so genius what the hell, he’s quickly becoming a fav

[fuxuannie]

This is honestly my first time requesting anything so I'm kinda nervous ngl lol.

May I request some HCs with Dan Heng, Jing Yuan and/or Blade with a GN Reader who dislikes physical touches? As in, if someone hugs them and grabs their arm they recoil as fast as they can because they're uncomfortable? And will only be okay with physical affection when it's needed or if it's their partner?

Thank you for possibly considering this request, and have a good day or night :)

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4) x gender neutral reader

* prompt : request ♡

* authors note : this request is SO me-core, as someone who's horrible with physical touch, i think im the best candidate for this /j thank you for the req and i'm honored im your first! this is really messy, im sorry T.T

DAN HENG was one of the first people to notice your discomfort with physical touch when you joined the Astral Express. March 7th tried to cling onto you, but instinctively you moved out of her way. (and admittedly almost made her stumble and fall doing so.) Profusely apologizing for that little accident, but you never really let people hold onto you.

So when you two got together, Dan Heng was pleasantly surprised with how clingy you really were. Whenever he was working in the Archives, the arms wrapping his waist and leaning on his back couldn't have been anyone else, he didn't wanna ask or point it out, just incase you would've been embarrassed or awkward about it.

Not only giving, but receiving. You used to refuse any form of physical touch but now the way he holds you in his arms is a blessing. You fit so perfectly, like you were meant for him, and he's so glad that you are. He helped you learn to love touch, and you helped him realize he loved to touch.

"I'll be there after work, I promise." You remember JING YUAN saying, and you told yourself you could survive a few hours waiting for him. So there you waited patiently, sitting alone on one of the outdoor tables by the restaurant you planned the date on.

It was almost time for him to arrive, and you were just happy you'd be seeing him soon, but you hear a throat clear behind you. You put your left arm by the back of your seat and turn around. "Hello there!" The man asked, a friendly smile on his face but something felt odd about it. A sixth sense intuition that somehow he didn't have the best intentions.

"You seem to be alone," Oh no. "I can give you a much better time." You force a laugh, flicking your wrist while doing so. "It's quite alright, he'll be arriving any minute now." And that seems to annoy the man, his kindness running thin. "Listen, he's clearly not interested-"

His hand goes up to grab your arm on the chair, but in one swift movement, you stand up and pull away. "Please. Do not touch me so casually." You say sternly, sending a glare towards the stranger. But the familiar feeling of a hand around your waist calms you down, you look at your boyfriend, who looks back at you apologetically. The man had long left, realizing who he may or may not have pissed off.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have arrived sooner." He says with a tired sigh. "It's alright, I'm glad you're here."

BLADE doesn't exactly care nor mind, he wasn't much of a touchy person either. But he'll do the little things like locking arms or letting you hold onto him.

He will get annoyed and maybe even confront people when it comes to situations where he feels like he has to. His mere glare can send people off running, so you're greatful to have him around.

You did like it when he'd hug you or hold you. It was rare, but when he let himself rest for a few hours, you're his personal pillow for that time period.

Kafka would mess with him every once in a while, touching your arm and making you feel ever so slightly awkward and the glare Blade gives would scare any ordinary person. She loves the reaction she gets out of him, seeing you get pulled away and his hands on your waist posessively.

"CAELUS, wait-" March 7th and Dan Heng tried to stop him, but suddenly the trailblazer walks up to you and wraps his arms around your figure. The other two expected you two slap him in the face, or something to push him away, but the way you payed no notice to the way he holds onto you surprises them.

"Whaaat..??"

"Oh! Right, this is my partner. Hehe." He'd snicker, already seeing March 7th's absolutely baffled expression. "You have a PARTNER??? AND IT'S (name)?!"

You're known in the Station for being a researcher who despised being touched, most people knew how passive aggressive you'd get depending on how you were touched, and the intentions behind it. "I'm the one exception to that whole thingy they have, I'm just really special." Caelus sparkled in pride, before clearing your throat. "You're about to lose that privilege if you don't let me go and look at some papers."

Caelus apologizes, pulling away as you huff. "Thank you." And you return to your work.

"I still can't believe Caelus pulls.."

"What in the GALAXY is that supposed to mean?!"

[sea-of-dust]

Unexpected Affection

Kafka, Stelle,Blade x GN!Reader

Summary: They never really showed this level of affection before...

Notes: 🗿 just gonna cram this in so those two people that unfollowed me come back. Had a werid urge to cram asuka in here he looks like one of those little fluff dogs, dude.

Warnings: suggestive humor and scenes, betrayed audience (IM SORRY 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️),Barely proofread

She's always showing you affection

Touching your hand if you were to sit across from her. Offering to carry you home if too tired. She's very happy to do things for you!

You think her being like this is almost her way of repaying you for being patient while she's out stellaron hunting

She'd text you whenever she was free she'd love seeing how fast you'd respond. "The missions taking a while, I'm sorry if I'm late" you'd type almost immediately after she sent that "don't worry about it! Stay safe." With a small thumbs up emoji afterword. Her heart melts, you can't be this cute.

She loves greeting you by getting home first and sitting down on the couch. "Long time no see~" "Kafka..." the way you say her name she wishes to record it. Your greeting smile and small sweets you prepare for her always make her warm up a bit.

"How did you know I was coming back?" She'd lean into the hug rubbing your arms with her thumb. "I don't so when you don't come back I just kinda eat those alone-" She takes a bag of those snacks with her now, how could you say something like that with a smile on your face-

The longest time she's been out was two months barely being able to text you. So as soon as the mission was done, she excused herself. Waiting for you to come home so she could great you.

"Kaf-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before she kissed you suddenly, holding your hands pinning one to the wall. She kisses you with an eagerness, almost a need for you. You pull away to catch your breath, she'd fail to hide her want for more almost hearts in her eyes. She goes back in holding your waist as she enjoys the long kisses in between short gasps for air. She'll get her fix of you,slipping her toungue in feeling yours squirm everytime they touch, she really can't get enough of you only backing off when she felt shes had enough. "I prepared dinner for us" she wraps her arms around your shoulders, leading you to the dining table completely decorated.

She pulls out a chair for you as you sit down with her and catch up. "So how was the stellaron?" "Alot more active than usual took too much work" a sigh escapes her lips. You two continue to chatter on while eating.

As soon as you two finish eating, she helps you clean up. She can't take your hands off you while you wash dishes. She slowly rock your waist to sync with her movements. She takes off her gloves to touch your face. "As unprovoked as ever" she mumbles leaning into you "Why yes it takes alot of focus to wash dishes" she smiles at the joke leaning in to kiss you "Why yes the dishes are quite a vicious foe"

She just likes being near you. You smell nice...also you're able to keep her from turning into the local raccoon.

you would catch her looking at trash, always somehow be there to pull her away last second. "Come on, Stelle!" You drag her away.

She'd like to place small kisses on your cheek whenever you're not paying attention. She almost did this infront of the star rail crew. "The next planet..." You grab her face, holding her there. "heard that place is hotter than 12 volcano" March and Dan Heng would kinda continue to convo with her kinda stuck there

She can't sleep without you nearby. She's like the demon in the dark you run up the stairs from. She'd just stand there in the doorway as the light kinda makes her look like a shadow. "Uhhh Stelle" "..." you're barely awake yet you could tell it was her. You tsk before lifting your blanket lazily. "Come here" she nearly runs into bed with you cuddling into you. "You need a night light...maybe I'll take one from March" you pat her head as she scoots closer to you.

You had a maid run up to you shrieking about someone jumping out of a closet. "I'll go check it out miss I'll contact you if you it's anything serious" you go to check the room walking in and closing the door. You hear something in the closet and peak in only to have the doors fly open, Stelle almost jumping out trying to stop herself realizing who it was. "So you jump scared the room service lady" she nods "....wanna try that on sampo?"

She gets caught up in boxing and actively shows off how good she is. She always looks for you in the audience and shows off her win. "Congrats Stelle, but put him down!"

She won't admit it but she maybe maybe- likes pda. Maybe she does like holding your hand in public or the thought of you kissing her without a care. You'll never get her to say it tho. She just brushes her fingers on yours, occasionally hoping you'd hold onto her hand.

You found her in a trash can as usual but this time one on her head. You looked at her flabbergasted. "Stelle- get that off of your-" you were interrupted by her pulling it up and kiss you. Her tongue slipping in a bit, lowering the trash can down for a bit of privacy. You pull away, "Stelle what the-" she kisses you again before you pull her off gently "wait till we're on the express k?" You blush softly. She pounts a bit but still waits pulling the trashcan lower.

Turns out she forgot when you got back to the express a few days later when she does remmber tho she nearly runs at you slamming your door. "Eh what?" You rub your eyes seeing the raccoon in all of her glory "Stelle?" Your eyes a bit hazy yet you could still tell it was her, she nearly jumps on you immediately taking off her jacket. "Youre always up to something-" she cuts you off putting a finger to your mouth "shush" she smirks teasingly "been waiting for this for a long while now~" her voice is so calm yet you could almost feel mischief radiating off of her.

She kisses you for a long while, only pulling away to catch her breath quickly going back to it moments later. She didn't even care when March came knocking, wondering where she was. If anything, she just became more passionate. She adores your little tired noises every time she does something to fluster you. The infamous rubbing circles in your back always managed to get an embrassed squeak out of you. As soon as you pull her off breathing heavily, she'll notice just how flustered she made you. Her job was complete staying with you that night so she could do it all again in the morning.

He isn't too open even when in a relationship

You know he loves you he just doesn't say it outloud. You usually have to make moves and he'd slowly respond to those things, he's almost confused. "You're so stiff" you hug him from behind "as stiff as a board~" leaning into him a bit. As you hug him he's not really sure what to do. Does he hug back backward? Does he turn around and hug you? Does he just embrace it? So may questions running through a very straight faced man

The quickest way you flustered him is when you ask about the future while laying your head on his lap. "Blade... you think you might settle down with me when there's no longer stellarons to hunt." He didn't move, but it was clear to see the blush on his face. As he softly pats your head, you could almost hear him mumble a "I want to..."

He offen tries to sneakily hold your hand. "Oh?" He would stay straight faced, holding your hand behind your backs. Gripping your hand a bit tighter sometimes. "Is this your way of being flustered?" "No" he'd squeeze your hand. "Uh huh"

He wants you to braid his hair. He'd sit down with his back facing you, and you'd be so confused. When you finally offered, you could tell he almost ran but didn't wanna embrass himself. "Alright, sit -" he sits with his back turned to you in the same spot as usual. "Oh...so THAT'S what you meant." "What did you think I mean?" "That you were mad at me. " "...." he got his hair braided but still sensed undying guilt

He'd be so confused if you bought him any sort of gift. He's grateful, but... how to use it. "Blade...it's a fake flower, and when ya open it!" You carefully twist off the bud. "It's a chapstick!" He looks down at it, then back at you,"are my lips that crusty. " "No! No! I just got it cause I thought you wanted one! Always notice you staring at mine when I use it" he doesn't tell you, but he's been wondering about indirect kissing via chapstick.

All this thinking of kissing is gonna get in the way of stellron hunting it's too the point Kafka picks up on it and starts teasing him. "Bladie~, you seem flustered." "..." she smirks. "Is it that cute person you're dating!" He's pink trying to hide it, but he's blushing just thinking of you. "Your little play thing surprised you haven't given up on revenge just to stay with them longer." she walks in circles around him, annoying him but fluttering him none the less

He caught you asleep while waiting for him, so he tried to sneak into your arms without waking you. He'd fail...horrendously. you'd feel soft breaths and your arms going around a figure patting your head as you slept. Jokes on him, after you caught him doing this for a multitude of times, you just decided to pretend not to wake. Hopefully, making him feel like he's getting better at this.

He hides his cravings to wanna kiss you, but when he wants them, it's so odvious. He stays around you more often with almost no room for air, his frown deepening and eyes softening almost as if softly begging for something.

When he finally acted on this urge, it was only when you figured it out, kissing his cheek as he turned into a blushing mess. "Oh ho~, it seems someone got a bit excited for that," you smirk teasingly, hugging him. "Did you want one of these too?" His breath was heavy, his hair covering some of his face, but you could tell you had him on the ropes. Suddenly, he cups your face and leans in hesitantly before kissing you, slowly getting more passionate as he grips the clothes near your waist. You softly laugh at this, hearing him scoff, taking this chance you kiss him again in a slightly teasing way as he fully embraces your affection. He gets more egar gripping your clothes a bit tighter as his small kisses turn into deep, long ones with short gaps for air. He'd look so ashamed whenever he pulled away for breath. "If you're tired, we could save it for later." You smirk teasingly. "...just one more," you kiss his cheek. "..." You smirk, kissing his lips. "You're cute whenever you want something, you know"

[ratgrinders]

Lucy headcanon: she journals. But like the way Kafka journals where it is not helping her mental state at all and in fact may be making things worse. She’s such like a pretentious literary indie sad girl to me. She’s the girl behind a tumblr blog that romanticizes the ‘sad girl’ and ‘female rage’

Bonus: do the other ratgrinders journal? Does it help them or make them worse?

^^^^^^ sorry ur ask inspired me lmao

BUT YEAH god i love the interpretation of lucy as someone who kinda romanticizes sadness in a way, until it becomes Too Real and Too Close To Home now that she's actually died.

I think the rat grinders journal to varying degrees!

Kipperlilly i think got recommended to journal by jawbone, as a sort of "let your thoughts flow freely you you have a place to express them." kipperlilly doesnt see the point of it, she mostly just ends up writing really angry vent posts that almost tear the paper, which tend to get angrier as the year progresses.

Ruben i think maybe writes down song lyrics, doodles, maybe even poetry if he's feeling up to it, but he's less inspired with the rage crystal and hasn't been doing it as much. he does find it relaxing tho.

ivy im not sure? i could see her maybe scrapbooking or something like that. just making a collage out of a bunch of things that are meaningful to her.

oisins very practical and only ever writes notes, reminders, thoughts to himself. he probably uses it as an agenda of sorts to keep track of things.

mary ann doesnt journal, but she does blog lol, though i doubt its anything personal. shes just a very active forum poster, and i doubt shes keen on letting her personal thoughts be anywhere external.

buddys diary entry starts with "Dear diary <3, Oh golly, what a day! Every day is a trial under His good graces. Why, I was at a "social function" when this boy walked up to me asking if i wanted some of the "good stuff" because it looked like I needed some "positive vibes". I told him the only vibes I need come from the Holy Spirit, thank you very much. If only we could all walk in the light of Helio. I'll have to pray extra hard this evening to balance out the unholy vibes I was exposed to. Yours in Christ, Buddy Dawn <3"

[crguang]

Tis I, Himeko anon again... I rlly need a better way of identifying which anon this is..

As much as I really love having babygirl Himeko on missions, I don't want babygirl getting hurt :(((

If babygirl dies then I am QUIITTTING, I personally wouldn't be able to cope with such a loss... she's so pretty she can't die

I feel like they might pull some shit in penacony where Himeko "dies" but doesn't actually

The fact I actually almost cried when Kafka's hologram left the express for the first time, proves how much I care about the pretty women

Hope you have a great day :3

they wouldnt do this to us not after hi3…. i have faith. (girl who is in denial) i would actually stop playing if she died hdjfhgj like forget it. for now im choosing to believe that she can handle herself like she said she could, she’s stronger than people give her credit for🫶🏾

when kafka left the luofu i actually felt like this cause i knew she wouldnt be back in a while but i didnt know it would be THIS LONG. my reaction was totally justified

[vryivs]

spoilers ahead

wolfie and firefly hanging out theyre BESTIES

i missed silver wolf so bad ALSO SHES SOFT ON FIREFLY

theyre so cute i wanna cry

this is more fuel for my 'fate and destiny are optional' as the theme of the game conspiracy

reminds me of that one doctor who episode that mentions that nothing is set in stone until it happens

man i really do just keep linking this game to dw at every opportunity lately

kafka is such a mum omg

'make sure you bring me a souvenir!' its so cute

kafka and her three grey haired kids

AND BLADE OFFERING HIS ADVICE LIKE THAT (hes worried about her...he cares.....)

not a step dad...the dad that stepped UP

she called kafka jiejie......... thats adorable

stellaron hunters found family is so important to me

milf jade.....

shes so....omg. jade and her pet troublemakers. this dynamic will become integral to my personality i fear

i need playable oti. oh my god

playable siobhan WHEN

shes too beautiful to be an npc

im gonna cry dan heng loves his found family so much

crazy that welt isnt telling us he has a wholeass family back home

also 'for some reason' bestie she was your colleague. in the direct prequel to this game you were coworkers

gallagher isnt confirmed dead which is a point to a character being playable meaning theyre still alive, but misha is like... there is no way

Oh? Oh?????

oh shes mad at him for getting her involved

jade going 'dont be silly, you love him really' is so funny. topaz would kill him as much as she'd kill for him

awww jade cares about him

still cannot get over robin having a pride flag on her cheek. crazy of them to do that so blatantly

jade is the kind of girlboss that would sell nfts i think

all this finance talk is giving me a migraine

ok i was kidding but she really is just talking cryptospeak

i know tb/firefly is a super popular ship but idk..the more i play the more i feel like their platonic relationship is super sweet

the fact she knew us before kafka wiped our memories too....its so bittersweet

she is so transgender. to me

LMAO her tone being like. ah. my idiot

10 stoneheart lore oh i can feel my next hyperfixation coming on

BOOTHILL AND AVENTURINE INTERACTIONS!!!!!

oh yeah 'other things' like the fact that you NEARLY DIED

now im by no means fluent but my chinese hearing is just good enough to understand that boothill called him a pansy

also the fact that aventurine is there as a projection is so... im imagining him all dolled up for his zoom call just to collapse straight into bed the second it ends. remote work legend

girl help i cant stop imagining aventurine gossiping to ratio about us while on bed rest

'this individual is my responsibility' what a funny way of saying youre friends

tbh. my best friend irl talks about hanging out with me in almost the exact same way

eating brb

[drysauce]

what is it with honkai guys and flowers and why must they be the cause of my demise (luocha and blade,,,,,,, OTL)

i'm sorry kafka but daman mills is voicing blade so hopefully i can get him too if i get luocha early TwT (though tbf the eng dub is... eh,,,so idk)

do i need another wind dps even when i'm maining dan heng atm... no.... however.

also got bronya the other day! she's so cool so slay bayonet go pew pew (kinda annoying since i was just building tingyun before i got bronya but ah well)

ajhsndhd you're right i forgot that blade also has flowers, spider lillies if im not mistaken

as for luocha i got so used to associating him with flowers that i almost stopped noticing, i mean these

have kinda the same vibe as this

where there are coffins there are flowers (and there's also luocha)

idk who daman mills is but. hope you'll get bladie! on a won 50/50 right after the blond fool<3 also also you don't like eng dub??? it's so good and there are so many va's from genshin hdhdhs

bladie is at least twice as good as dan heng ao he'd definitely be an upgrade to him, especially that he also does aoe dmg meanwhile dan heng is single target only. plus he works perfectly with luocha so if you manage to get both you'll have a really strong team!!

bronya haver... im so jealous i started this game with an intention to get all hi3 original people and the standard banner ks kinda giving me the opposite of that jdhxhd but congrats congrats!!! also don't worry about tingyun, for abyss you need two team anyway plus they're different elements so you can switch between them depending on which element you need more

[nicebonescomrades]

okay! so this might get a little long winded lol

my main is america, but my luck there hasn't been so good so i legit made 3 alts on the other servers to try my luck and uuuh

for starters they're all alts right? very squishy units bc lack of materials and what not - and all three alts have a gepard

granted the hk alt only just got a gepard but i'm pretty sure it was bc i've been running jingyuan, tingyun, natasha, and fire trailblazer. and i swear tingyun gets singled out way too often (and as a result dies the fastest) so gepard is just like no need to worry! i am here

the hk alt is going to get a battle pass bc its just ridiculous at this point - when seele's banner was up i did a couple of single pulls and got a bronya, and then i threw the free 10 pulls at the banner and almost immediately got a seele - almost like she knew her girlfriend had come home and she just had to be there to complete the team (they actually hard carried me through the belagog story quest lol)

hk also didn't have tingyun before the jingyuan banner so i was like - i have arlan! maybe i can make a second team with arlan here? and i'll get a tingyun from jingyuan's banner no problem! and she can support arlan and i can use the fire trailblazer to protect him and natasha to heal him and -

and jingyuan comes home twice before tingyun bc he hears that i'm pulling his banner to give his best support to a 4 star? no ma am not happening on my watch

also i was on my asia account the other day and i was borrowing someone's himeko as the support unit right? and i was saying to one of my friends that hmm, maybe i don't want himeko on any of my accounts? himeko either doesn't do a lot of damage or this particular himeko is build really badly - i haven't seen double digits of damage in a while

and half an hour later i notice i have 10 pulls on the standard banner so i used them and i legit pull a himeko (i do do damage! you just need to build me correctly i can prove it-)

the eu account just has a bronya and gepard but i haven't done as much pulls on this on yet so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ we'll see how it goes when i use my event pulls on the blade banner there lol

in the meantime eu account has been maining qingque bc i actually really like quantum damage

i'll probably send in a different ask later on about jing yuan bc i did manage to get him on the main and that is a whole other story lol

So many reroll alts... good luck keeping up with all of them comrade i admire anyone thathas the dedication for that much 😭😭 but also gepard ‼️‼️ i want him so bad im losing my mind over not getting him yet 🙄 like bro why can't u be like your lookalike(Jean my love <3) and come fast to me?? Smh smh 🔪

But also the hk alt is so??? Im jealous /j but no i am not surprised by how fast you got seele and bronya the girlfriends must never be separated ‼️ bronseele forever <33 but jingyuan? 👁👁 congrats on getting him x2 and tingyun!!

Speaking of tingyun and her tendency to get attacked so much I'm pretty sure it's like, game mechanics lolol i believe the enemies do actually focus more in general at the healer/buffer... my bailu and bronya have suffered enough to know 😭

Me personally i only have my main america acc but I do plan on making an asia alt just 2 play with friends lolol my pulls on my main acc went actually so well I don't dare complain 💀

First day of release I got Bronya, Yanqing, e1 himeko (one from standard the other on the beginner banner), then the next day I got Himeko's lightcone and then two days after that I got Bailu and yesterday I got e1 Bronya 🧍🏻‍♀️ (all i want is a gepard. Literally that's all I want but noooo)

I didn't pull for Seele tho hdjdns but I did get Jingyuan and tingyun finally on his banner, so currently just wasting my wishes on his banner in hopes of getting a guarantee for Kafka lmao

[immovingcastles]

About the burning of books and the shame and fear Authors feel

This isint about the library of alexandria, nor about censorship, or others silencing others for opinions not shared. Those are topics for another day far too deserving of their own time spent to mourn and efforts to prevent. This is about a different kind of book burning. Today I am reading "Creative Writers Notebook, 20 Great authors & 70 Writing Excercises" (a very good book so far, and when I smell it, It smells almost like a tea I cant quite place, yes, I am sniffing my books. If you publish a book and I get it, just accept it now, my nose is going to be all over that book, and I will sniff it, so help me. Im aware theres book scented candles, and I do plan to get some but I'd argue books come in such a variety of aromas that people cant just sell one, we definitely need like, a collection of book scents, honestly)

This is not about how that book smelled

Inside this book are MANY authors obviously. And i was not even half way through this thing, doing research...

when I began to notice a trend. A trend I myself understood too deeply within my core to ignore. There are many, many authors, that tried to make their families burn their books upon their deaths. Many who untill death remained unpublished. Later becoming famous, and never even knowing of their sucess. For a certain author In a letter to a friend prior to his death, he left all his sketches, all his drafts and books, manuscripts, letters, diaries, everything he'd written and scribbled upon... He requested they be burned This was Franz Kafka. author of The Metamorphosis, among many other books. The man who requested his work be left burned, unread. Burned, Unread. And here, now in this book I read...The page with him upon it begins with "Franz Kafka changed the face of modern literature" Oh? is that not enough? hows about this list of authors who only became famous after death? all who requested their books burned

Emily Dickinson (her sister had been instructed to burn all her corrospondance, and thankfully, her sister found her drawer full of writing and had it published)

James Joyce (who's books managed to be saved BARELY by his wife and sister risking serious burns to save them from his own beleif his books just werent good enough after experiencing 20 rejections, including one considered one of the most significant peices of its kind in history)

Robert Louis Stevenson (after being disheartened after some feedback from his wife he took too roughly, burned The first draft of the Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. She was then brought in to the room by him to see the burned remains of his work, thankfully, he diddint give up and he tried again. One week later, a rewritten version was made, and I dont need to tell you about it's legacy, now do I?)

Some rather…well known names eh?

a very much so, non-comprehensive list. Why is it an incomplete list? Because some people DID have families that respected their wishes (or was it their fears, rather than their wishes?). Some people had no one to leave them to, and some authors go uncredited for their work, left only known as unknown

Consider this, dear fearful reader. The next time you want to throw away the 'worthless' things that you've 'scribbled up' those 'rough drafts that arent really worth pursuing' Those 'books that just turned out not quite right'. Consider the authors who's books went Unburnt. Consider your books. Please dont burn them... You dont have a clear, nor accurate view of how good they are. You don't know what will be said about you, not even on your deathbed... Don't burn your books.

[notfivefr]

01092024- Media Consumption Diary #6

Missed a lot of thing i know. I started focusing in genshin again, deleted some games, read a few mangas, new holostar merch, etc etc.

1) Genshin-- I completed Simulanka event 1 day bfore it expired. I was so glad i decided to do it, love the stories, the exploration, the lore: i have so many things to talk abt simulanka but imma save for other post.

Also,, NATLAN'S UPDATE YIPPEEE~ (new mechanics, more variety of npc, ui design). Pulled for Mualani bcs shes so fun to play, then imma focus on pyro archon.

-- Finished Dehya's story quest/ increased world level to 9 (took me 3 tries lol i bring a wrong team)/ got Dehya on free 5 star event bcs i wanna see how long Diluc gonna take to come home 🙄.

2) HSR-- More focus on farming Kafka/ Jingyuan's relics (its been almost 3 weeks pls)-- ver 2.5 announced their banner which are consisting Kafka, Feixiao(?), Blackswan, Robin (Helpskkskskskks that's not fair i need to build my kafka teammmmm Blackswann noooooo) i think imma pull for robin then focus on Sunday. Also Sunday's banner prediction is on 2.7 we're so cooked 😭😭😭 (also if there's any aventurine's rerun imma gone)

3) HOLOSTAR- ive been watching a lot of their old jp clips after 8GO Vsai. The most memorable one is Triple A-chan, Astel's mad maggie drills, toiletempo, horror games compilations etc2. Also watched their prev 3D lives concerts, im in love honestly especially Izuru n Tempus HQ. Also im so proud reading all the jp comments about them like yes pls they're so underrated they deserve so much love.

Holostar jp also released new merch,, the mochi thing. Look at my oshis bro theyre circle now

4) Manga(s) - Read a few on the app

Empyreal Cabinet (Fumiji Yuba) - exorcist monster but they work w government and the public aware of their existence. -2 cpt

Kagurabachi (Takeru Hokazono)- Finished the 1st arc i think, the auction arc. Chihiro got new friends, find ways to seal back that one sword ( ughh i forgot the plot the moment i leave the manga. But i remember right away when i read the new chpt tho ) So far i really like the story.

Darling's Vanishing Act (Yadu) - A pro smtg2 assassin or smtg that offer service to help people to get out of a situation. This dude save a mafia's daughter, fell in love with her (her name is Darling) but the girl kinda rejected him, telling him to find other woman that will truly love him. Idk i think this story gonna follow abt how he tries to track back Darling after they separated while also dealing mafia conflicts. -1 chpt

[6racc6oon6]

hi im Szop/Creep or whoever you wanna call me im new and i used Tumblr maybe only once but i cant use it no matter what 😭 i will probably post arts maybe some random things idk

i love horror movies and bloody shit. im a big fan of creepypasta for like 10 years now. despite horror movies i also like psychological and "about teen" movies. some titles i love and are not horrors: requiem for a dream, good will hunting, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, kings of the summer, what's eating Gilbert grape, dead poet society, Se7en, speak, slc punk, gia, kids, mysterious skin, the craft, Jennifer body, lilya 4 ever, girl interrupted, thirteen, skins, shameless, the Truman show, basketball diares and a lot more. from horrors i also prefer psychological ones like silence of the lambs, American psycho, black swan, hannibal. i love classic 80s-90s slashers and body horror. i also love found footage and teen horrors. its hard to disturb me, ive watched almost everything from "the most disturbing movies iceberg".

despite movies i also love books. mostly horror and classic ones. i love Stephen king books. from classics i like Dostoyevski, franz kafka, Albert Camus and a lot more. i also love gothic ones, bram stoker, merry shelly, jane Austen, robert louis stevenson, Oscar Wilde, Charlotte Brontë.

i play a lot of video games, resident evil, silent hill, cod, alan wake, the last of us, fnaf, sally face, fran bow. my personal favorite is Cry of fear. im Simon Henriksson in real life. i also really love resident evil and i need to draw Leon more same as a pyramid head so as soon I'll get my iPad there will be probably a lot of them. i also play a lot of visual novels, such as Boyfriends to death, frost bite, broken colors, john doe, my dear hatchet man.

i rarely draw something digitally but im saving to buy an iPad so when i do i will definitely post more and maybe I'll finally start doing animations like i always wanted to

tw my art may contains:

- topics like mental problem and trauma

- blood, gore and guts

- s-word and sh

- meat and rarely the animals one

- suggestive content

- abuse, dead bodies, murder, kidnapping amd other of sick shit

in one word NSFW

After the things i like and the warnings i letf here you can probably guessed that if you sensitive my content would not be perfect for you cause the tw will probably become bigger and bigger :3

[the--sage--sea]

18 december 2022

wanted to post a little daily diary again like i used to. it’s been over a year. i’ve been home from college for the last few days on winter break. staying at my moms house alone so it’s been a little lonely but also really nice to have a place to myself considering i’ve been living with three roommates basically without going home since september. came home late on friday (it’s sunday now) and went in my moms hot tub and drank some beer and then watched a lot of nana. i fucking love that show. i’ve never watched a slice of life anime before and it’s so sweet and refreshing but also sad and i’m pissed at what’s happening in it rn. on saturday i took a bubble bath in the morning and read my book. i’m reading the wind up bird chronicle. i read kafka on the shore this time last year so i guess i think winter is the time for murakami. i’m almost done with the book and i’ve really liked it so far. murakami books always make me feel the same indescribable feeling. like life is so ordinary but if i just slowed down and payed attention i could easily find myself falling into a strange realm like the characters in the book always do. i think i’ll finish it today. after my bubble bath on saturday i went over to my grandmas house to talk about our christmas plans. my dads gonna be in israel with his girlfriend and her kids over christmas so it won’t be the same but i’m glad we’re still doing our christmas eve tradition at grandmas. when i saw her yesterday she was so tiny and frail like a little bird.

anyway. i woke up today about an hour ago and cleaned up the house cause my moms coming home today and i made some black tea that i’m drinking right now. it’s 11.45 right now and i’m gonna read for the next couple hours and then start getting ready. i’m supposed to pick my grandma up at five and take her to my dads for a little christmas/hanukkah dinner before he leaves for israel. i also need to clean out my car because the passengers seat is literally filled to the brim with all of the shoes i own and i need to make room for gma. i’m honestly scared to drive her because people always say i’m a rough driver and if i brake to hard i’m afraid she might turn into dust and float out the window. i’ll have to keep the windows closed. we’re having fondue for dinner which i’m so fucking excited about because we used to have it every christmas dinner when my parents were still together and my dads done it a few times since but it’s been a while. i fucking love cheese so fondue is like a dream to me.

i also need to pack for the snow but i’ll do that when i get back to my moms tonight. we’re driving up to mammoth mountain tomorrow and i’m so excited. i haven’t seen the snow in years it feels like. we used to go to mammoth every year (back when my parents were still married again lol) so i’m so happy to go back there. i’m going with my mom and brother and stepdad and stepsister. feels weird to write that. they just got married. exactly one week ago actually. the pictures up above are from the wedding. it was at the most beautiful place up in the hills/cliffs just past avila beach. it was really fun and a really beautiful wedding. i went with my ex and we had a lot of fun but i think it’s brought up a lot of emotions and now i feel like things are weird between us. i wanted to see him before i left for the snow but i don’t think he wants to see me. anyway im gonna try to have a good day today and i’ll make another post tomorrow on the drive to mammoth if i can remember.

[aegissi]

top five authors and books!

top 5 authors in no particular order

jane austen: read all her books and loved almost all of them she earned this spot by writing persuasion

banana yoshimoto: I only read kitchen and moonlight shadow by her but I love love her writing style (especially how she writes grief)

ocean vuong: his poetry collection really made an impact on me and I'm currently reading on earth we're briefly gorgeous so im in my ocean vuong era lol

dostoevsky: he was so gay for writing the eternal husband that's all I have 2 say (also the way I read his work will always be more correct than whatever straight white men project on him)

kafka: only read the trial by him but he's my bestie im in a deep parasocial relationship with him even tho he's very much dead

top 5 books in no particular order as well bc idk how to rank them

persuasion by jane austen I need that book to become her most popular novel we need more acknowledgement for women who don't speak and don't do shit!!

outsiders by howard becker even tho that's a sociology book but anyway it's the book I enjoyed reading the most during undergrad

frankenstein by mary shelley I think abt this one weekly

the sum of our follies by shih-li kow it's like a tapestry of different people's lives I really enjoyed it

the unbearable lightness of being by milan kundera I read that one a long time ago and randomly remembered how much I liked it!!

[autumn-foxfire]

Bro im so tired of twitter

So the latest thing ive been seeing a lot of are things like 'jujutsu kaisen is just a copy of naruto' or 'do you likw jjk or bnha?' A whole lot of compering and arguing and belitteling one show to lift up the other

Here are my hot takes

1. Nothing exists in a vacuum, everything has been inspiered by something and Gege has been very open about his inspirations (which dont even include that much naruto)

2. You can, stay with me now, like more than one show

Like im so tired of ppl compering shit and tearing one show down because they like the other. Like i like both jjk n bnha. I like jjk more cuz its more suited to my tastes. But also i think bnha has been really good recently n has some of the horis strongest writing to date and im very excited to see what comes next. Just because i like one show over the other doesnt mean i suddenly hate the other or think its badly written. I can appriciate both their merits. N the comparisons with naruto are really annoying cuz like 🙄 who cares. Naruto is one of the big three, a lot of mangaka who work now read it as kids OF COURSE they'll be inspiered by it just like they'll be inspiered by bleach n one piece. News flash just because one show did something first doesnt mean its automatically better than any other show that does it. Saying 'jjk is good but it would be nothing without naruto' means NOTHING. Jjk has its own themes and character n ideas and sometimes there will be similarities with other media cuz of fucking course there will be, humans all have similar ideas, no one is 100% original, its the way different authors spin n retell those ideas that actually matter. Shonen jump is basically a brand of its own they are gonna push conent similar to content shonen jump readers like. The fun part is watching all the different authors taking pieces of those formulas n fitting them together in new and interesting ways.

Sorry for the rant im just really tired of 'the war between jjk n bnha fans' or 'jjk can never be as good as naruto' or whichever it is today. Idk i guess ppl are bitter that jjk became so massivly popular so fast but??? Who cares???? If you dont vibe with it just dont watch it and leave the fans alone??? I didnt like that akudama drive was so popular last season but i didnt go to its fans n rant about how their show isnt good as this other show, just let ppl enjoy things??? Nobody is forcing you to say jjk is the best thing ever, nobody is forcing you to watch it. Just go enjoy the show you do like??? N if u like jjk u can also like bnha n others???? You can like more thsn one thing??? Idk im just fuckin tired of dumbass bullshit like this n ppl making drama for no reason at all

Like imagine if this was how i talked about my fav shows 🙄 re creators is better then beastars because its female characters are more prominent and beastars is better then talentless nana because it has better world building, but talentless nana explores trauma n abuse better then re creators n re creators has way more to say about nature of story telling then beastars

WOW ITS ALMOST LIKE ALL SHOWS HAVE STRONG N WEAK POINTS N THEIR OWN THEMES AND STORIES TO TELL FUNNY THAT

If people don’t think Gege isn’t inspiring Hori too, then they really need to look at the character design for the sixth holder of OFA who looks like a re-coloured version of Inumaki <.< It’s a two way street when it comes to inspiration because surprise, surprise, both JJK and BNHA are two of the most popular manga and will also inspire writers :p

There has also been a lot of comparisons between characters in Naruto and JJK recently too, a popular one being Sakura and Nobara, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at most of those comparisons. Especially when Nobara’s story isn’t even finished yet compared to Sakura’s which is complete (unless you include Boruto but no one like Boruto). It’s such a moot thing to do. At least give Nobara a chance to develope before you declare her to being treated as bad as Sakura was T-T

I don’t know why people always feel so threatened when the see a new manga get popular, maybe because they don’t like to see the flaws in their favourite work become that bit more apparent because another writer did it better (and lets be honest here, Gege is much better at writing female characters so far and Hori’s females have always been a point of discussion because of how he writes them, it’s not like JJK is showing us something we haven’t already noticed).

As you said, there will be parts in Hori’s story that will be better then Gege’s and vice versa, but that doesn’t mean the whole of their works are bad and we should feel bad for liking them.

You know, I love to compare my favourite mangas personally. When I started watching BSD I noticed how many of the characters reminded me of DRRR ones and I wonder if it’s because Kafka was inspired by Narita. Being inspired isn’t a bad thing (as long as you don’t completely copy someone elses work) but you’d think it’s the worst sin in fandom with the way some talk about it.

[garbagequeer]

hey hello im writing a piece for laptop ensemble that involves sampling and i need the most repressed/tender/yearning quotes you got. just as gay and heart wrenching as you can. but also no pressure I know youre a stranger on the web I just feel like you post that kind of stuff a lot thank you bye

hope this isnt like too late school keeps me busy :( (also can you put a read more on asks? guess i’ll find out). i ended up choosing many quotes from the same texts cause im indecisive as shit but i’ll bold my favorites from those in case that makes it easier for you!

anyways first of all you can never go wrong w richard siken as obvious as that is. these are both from you are jeff

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.

Let’s say you’ve swallowed a bad thing and now it’s got its hands inside you. This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean but you’re happy anyway, and that’s okay, it’s a love story 

this one’s from planet of love (the format got fucked bc tumblr is not actually a finctional website but :/ )

I have a megaphone and you play along,                                                                 because you want to die for love,                                                            you always have.     Imagine this:You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting.                      You’re going to die                                            in your best friend’s arms.             And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,you’ve memorized it,

from litany in which certain things are crossed out 

I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you’re            really there.Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live?                                                       Let me do it right for once,

sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell                                    and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud.            Especially that, but I should have known.You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together            to make a creature that will do what I sayor love me back.

We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too,            smiling and crying in a way that made meeven more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I                                                                                just couldn’t say it out loud.Actually, you said Love, for you,                             is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s                                                                                                 terrifying. No one                                                                        will ever want to sleep with you.

from snow and dirty rain

I had a dream about you. We were in the gold roomwhere everyone finally gets what they want.

that scene from when harry met sally where sally says:

One day I was taking Alice’s little girl fro the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I spy” - you know, “I spy a lamppost”, “I spy a mailbox” - and she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice’s little girl said “I spy a family”, and I satrted crying, you know? I just started crying, and I went home

(like anyone else sometimes cries when u see a family doing something nice? is it because i want to participate in a sense of family of my own but have been excluded as a gay person from it’s portrayals and it makes me go :^( cause i dont feel there’s room for me there but i want there to be and i just have to long for this nuclear family heteronormative way of life that i’ve been made to believe is idylic? is it because my parents got divorced and my dad’s an ass and my mom is just a very angry lady and i want to re-do my own childhood? who knows. should we ban movies? yes we should!)

from maurice (ultimate source of tender)

“There was something better in life than this rubbish, if only he could get to it, love, nobility, big spaces where passion clasped peace, spaces no science could reach, but they existed for ever, full of woods some of them, and arched with majestic sky and a friend”

‘Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’ he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep’

we are all so lucky i don’t actually own maurice in english this would just turn into me quoting the whole book

ee cummings voices to voices, lip to lip

the thing perhaps isto eat flowers and not to be afraid.

from virgina woolf’s letters to vita

7 september 1925

january 21 1926 vita writes

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

and on january 26 virginia writes back

Your letter from Trieste came this morning—But why do you think I don’t feel, or that I make phrases? ‘Lovely phrases’ you say which rob things of reality. Just the opposite. Always, always, always I try to say what I feel. Will you then believe that after you went last Tuesday—exactly a week ago—out I went into the slums of Bloomsbury, to find a barrel organ. But it did not make me cheerful … And ever since, nothing important has happened—Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass. Lovely phrases? … 

from virginia’s diary, about vita on december 21 1925

I like her and being with her and the splendour–she shines in the grocer’s shop in Sevenoaks with a candle lit radiance, stalking on legs like beech trees, pink glowing, grape clustered, pearl hung.

from virginia woolf’s to the light house

What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart? Could loving, as people called it, make her and Mrs Ramsay one? for it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge, she had thought, leaning her head on Mrs Ramsay’s knee. Nothing happened. Nothing! Nothing! as she leant her head against Mrs Ramsay’s knee. And yet, she knew knowledge and wisdom were stored up in Mrs Ramsay’s heart.

Love had a thousand shapes. There might be lovers whose gift it was to choose out the elements of things and place them together and so, giving them a wholeness not theirs in life, make of some scene, or meeting of people (all now gone and separate), one of those globed compacted things over which thought lingers, and love plays.

there forced themselves upon her other things, her own inadequacy, her insignificance, keeping house for her father off the Brompton Road, and had much ado to control her impulse to fling herself (thank Heaven she had always resisted so far) at Mrs Ramsay’s knee and say to her—but what could one say to her? “I’m in love with you?” No, that was not true. “I’m in love with this all,” waving her hand at the hedge, at the house, at the children. It was absurd, it was impossible 

(fun fact: the spanish translation adds something that i’d translate as “one could not say what one meant / what one wanted to say”, which i really like and i was disapointed to find out isnt on the english edition)

It was love, she thought, pretending to move her canvas, distilled and filtered; love that never attempted to clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of the human gain. So it was indeed. The world by all means should have shared it  

from the great gatsby

I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away (…) Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around. ‘They’re a rotten crowd,’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’ I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him

from kafka’s diaries

may 27 1911: Today is your birthday, but I am not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not in position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so necessary for me today to be near you for a moment

parts from a from a letter he wrote to oskar pollak on february 4 1902

When we talk together the words are hard; we tread over them as if they were rough pavement. The most delicate things acquire awkward feet and we can’t help it. We’re almost in each other’s way; I bump into you and you - I don’t dare and you. When we come to things that are not exactly cobblestones or the Kunstwart, we suddenly see that we are in masquerade, acting with angular faces (especially me, I admit), and then we become sad and bored. Does anyone make you as bored as I do?

then I fall silent and you fall silent and you become bored, and I become bored and it’s all like a stupid hangover and there’s no use lifting a hand. But neither wants to say this to the other, out of shame or fear or - You see, we are afraid of each other, or I am.

Of course I understand it. It’s boring to stand for years in front of an ugly wall and it just won’t crumble away. Of course, but the wall is afraid for itself, fro the garden (if there is one), and you get out of sorts, yawn, have headaches, don’t know where to turn

You often talk with her, not only for the sake of talking. You walk around with her somewhere here or there, or in Roztok, and i sit at my desk at home. You talk with her, and in the middle of a sentence somebody jumps up and makes a bow. That is me with my untrimmed words and angular faces. That lasts only a moment, and then you go on talking. I sit at my desk at home and yawn. I’ve been trhough it already. Wouldn’t that separate us? Is that so strange? Are we enemies? I am very fond of you

from his leters to milena

Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.

jane wong. from clearing

We want to believe everything has meaning.Plums blossom over a power grid

and I am in love again. The shame of it.

from leslie harrison’s [sirens]

I’m not Penelope married to faith married to waitingbound in fine soft strands of silk dyed and stretchedin my world longing has teeth and fins has a tastefor blood longing is a room built entirely of knives

Lorde’s melodrama tour interlude

Don’t you wish you could go inside a heart, see the strings and atrium’s, everything beating and bleeding. It’s kind of funny, I spend almost every minute thinking about love. Being guided, and divided by love. But I’ve never seen it. It’s just a rumour, a comedown, an afterglow. I wanna see it, in colour. In the summer, I can almost picture it

from Andrea Long Chu’s on liking women

One day, you tell yourself, it will give you what you want. Then, one day, it doesn’t. Now it dawns on you that your object will probably never give you what you want. But this is not what’s disappointing, not really. What’s disappointing is what happens next: nothing. You keep your object. You continue to follow it around, stash it in a drawer, water it, tweet at it. It still doesn’t give you what you want—but you knew that. You have had another realization: not getting what you want has very little to do with wanting it. Knowing better usually doesn’t make it better. You don’t want something because wanting it will lead to getting it. You want it because you want it

ada limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me

But love is impossible and it goes ondespite the impossible. You’re the muscleI cut from the bone and still the boneremembers, still it wants (so much, it wants)the flesh back, the real thing,if only to rail against it, if onlyto argue and fight, if only to missa solve-able absence.

i dont think i need to get into mitski songs because you probably already know but basically pink in the night/come into the water/once more to see you/in happy when she says if you’re going take the train so i can hear it rumble one last rumble/in i want you from the first verse to the first time she goes “i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you” (YES the card thing is very important)/the first verse of i will (w emphasis on everything you feel is good i f you wold only let you)/abbey/strawberry blond

sufjan steven’s futile devices obviously predatory wasp of the palisades you know the drill 

was going to find some twin fantasy lyrics but i started thinking about famous prophets (minds) and like. emotionally left my body so. i wont be thinking about it or any other songs anymore it makes me too crazy

from frances ha

It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.

from ellen lee’s notes on twin fantasy that i revisit constantly

there’s no going back to deliver these words to the ones they were really meant for. That’s how heartbreak feels, I guess. It feels like your heart in between the teeth of someone who’s looking away. When you’ve lost your loved object, what happens to all the things you have to say to them? When they’re turned away, what happens to all the things that you couldn’t, but desperately need(ed) to, say to their face? He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes a fantasy. You have your bleeding heart, you have a finite set of memories — when nothing new enters and you’re unwilling to let go, then you have a fantasy. The loved object enters into you and transforms.

the journey home by dermot bolger(havent read this at all dont really plan to/dont know a thing about it either i just came across this shit like 2 years ago and i still think about it)

I wanted to hurt him; I wanted just to touch him. What I wanted I’m not really sure. If he had stopped and opened his arms I would have walked towards him; I would have sat on the kerb all night with him

adam b, sweet i have a (really gay) heart

i feel like my body is the extension of a lake. i feel really badabout not telling you the truth, sometimes. i feelreally small next to you. tall boys remind me of bean stalks.i wish i had your legs. i wish i could know your handsbefore i even touch them

aaaand i think that’s all i could think of and track down, hope this is actually helpful and not too long (i am indecisive no kidding). also ksjdfg it’s nice that you thought to ask me this and i did have fun going over all these quotes so thank you 💖💖💖

[ash-etherwood]

ehhhh im still rewriting this story and it'll just be some kind of 20k words intro to a way longer story that I wont continue because im lazy. (---: heres the three main characters I love them very much. they're english and im still debatin if I wanna put them in the same universe as the UNMO-guys .... it's kinda supernatural after all. (just a heads up theyre all dating)

Jack - 22 years old, almost homeless, almost jobless, lives in a small inn's basement and cleans the toilets for a living - very pansexual and everyone is his type, sadly - that's probably not his real name, nobody in real life is called jack after all (- way hotter then he was supposed to be) - kinda an alcoholic but too broke to spend anymore money on booze (and cigarettes) - remarkably bottom - wants to look edgy and like a bad boy but is actally just an awkward bitch - casually overshares in the worst possible situations - more or less accidentally killed a guy once and has been on the run since - fucking terrified of straight fuckboys - hairy - tragic backstory: abusive, homophobic dad and psychic powers that are actived by panic attacks - sometimes purposefully triggers himself to use telekinesis which fucks up his psyche pretty badly - was a fullout esper in his childhood but most of his former powers haven't shown in the past few years and he just believes he lost them - does only have ONE pair of normal jeans, the rest is sweatpants - can also talk to ghosts, but needs very special circumstances for that and usually doesn't even remember what these are - just wants an aesthetic apartment with a glass roof and a cute s/o and enough money to stay alive - wants to eat Nick's peach chapstick

Aleska Marie Heidenreich - 24 years old, polish/german/jewish mixed, actually straight for once - had straight a's in school, now studies physics (because it's smart) and literature (because it's her passion) and works part time as a waitress in some fancy expensive confectionery-café - likes baking complicated stuff and gets better at this - despite that she eats like a starving horse and should not be brought to fancy dinners; also likes to eat A LOT, is the type of girl who will empty a bucket of ice cream after a breakup (or just for fun), but only gets chubby around the hips in those phases - also dances since she was 11 and is REALLY good at it (she and her group won several prizes in her teen years) - usually seen listening to hip hop and reading kafka curled up on her couch - can never decide if she wants to look girly-sexy or sloppy-90's-grunge-skatergirl - unironically drinks tomato juice and her fave cocktail is bloody mary - horrible chain smoker, tries to quit about once a week but always fails wich leads to some kind of yoyo-effect where she will only smoke one or two cigarettes on one day and five or six on another - the darker her eye make up, the better her feeling - currently on the run from her abusive boyfriend matt who she was about to break up with when he finally snapped and hit her. still debates if she wants to go back to him or leave him for good. - no superhuman powers whatsoever and just kinda has to roll with her weird new friends

Nicholas 'Nick' Crawford - 26 years old, very tall, also very pan - came from a pretty well off family and got the full program of learning to play the piano as a child and having private classes on manners and social etiquette and all that shit - a witch with several crow familiars who are all named after kafka-protagonists (franz, karl, josef and gregor) frequently bonds with aleska over that - his appartment is full of plants and smells like a mix between a perfumery and a secret weed hideout - casually uses his knowledge about plants, herbs and potions to grow weed probably - very good with animals, complete with the "oh wow she usually doesn't like strangers!" trope - only very rarely seen not smiling at all, even if it's just a tiny smile, has a resting nice face - everything he says sounds like flirting and he is just charismatic as fuck - when he has money he wears big hats, pointy leather shoes and big glasses like some kind of gay witch; when he's broke he just runs around like a private detective in a beige trenchcoat - has horribly dry, chapped lips that often bleed and carries peach chapstick with him because of that all the time (peach is also his favourite smell and colour) - only recently came to town to look for someone there who might help him with a few old spellbooks but he seems to have forgotten about that already - basically has sympathy for EVERYONE and can't help but help people if he notices the need, even if he has better things to do, and most of the time that kindness backfires horribly