#im already working on a sort a video already and ive already been too busy with work to be finishing that one quickly

[cryptic-underground]

Not me contemplating making that arranged marriage au I thought up months ago just because I have a video idea😭

[grcetxt]

Fuck it we ball fanfic time. Gn reader x lars pinfield WOO

Okay WOO lmk if this is shit or ooc or anything, but im pretty happy with how this went :D its a little rushed, might redo it in the future idk. Also i made Y/N bit too much like me (northern) so watch out for that american readers SORRYYY. anwyays enjoy!

I am smart.

No don't laugh, I am, genuinely I am.

Maybe not in the way that others deem important, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I am bright.

Pinfield doesn't think so, the prick.

Every day I come into work, all smiling and welcoming, and what do I get in return? A roll of the eyes if I'm lucky.

Dickhead.

But I don't let him get to me, I love my job. My boss is chill, I love hanging out with Lucky, and the Spenglers seem nice! It's a good gig, really.

I'm the "PR guy" for Ghost Corps. Every time they fuck up and destroy a building or whatever I'm the one who covers it up. I'm a real smooth talker, 'gift of the gab' my mum used to call it.

The team needs me, I know that, they know that. Im crucial to the whole operation, the sole reason why that whiny mayor dude hasnt shut them down.

I'm the one who goes to press interviews, who goes on the radio or on TV. I'm the social media manager, I make videos, and post tweets, fuck I've even started a Ghostbusters youtube account! I deserve a raise honestly. #justiceforY/NthePRguy

I get on with everyone at work except for Pinfield, and I genuinely dont know why.

I've tried getting him to feature in videos, or explain the science of stuff to me so I can actually seem like I know what I'm talking about- but he just brushes me off.

Gary tries to reassure me about this on a daily basis. "Its nothing to do with you Y/N" he smiled one day, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the busy scientist. "He doesnt really talk to anyone, he gets really passionate about his work"

"I get that, but there's no need for him to be a dick to me, he's got me thinking all kinds of shit honestly!" I replied, exhasperated "I've never done nowt to him"

Suddenly, Pinfield raised his head from his work, scrunching his eyebrows together. "thats a double negative" he commented, looking at me as if I was stupid. Great, It's the most he's ever spoken to me and its a fucking insult- atleast I think it is.

"you what?" I ask, making my way over to him despite Garys protests. I fold my arms, looking as menacing as i can (which ive been told isn't very menacing at all)

"I said its a double negative, if you've never done nothing then you must've done something" before I can reply, he adds onto the end "which you haven't, by the way. I dont know why you think that. I treat you the same as anyone else"

I can't explain why his answer bothers me so much, but it does. Why does he view me in the same way he views the others? That's hardly fair. I'm always welcoming to him, I make time out of my day to include him in things. I hate to admit it, but I genuinely admire him aswell. His love for all things paranormal, the way he gets so excited and proud when he gets to explain the science of ghost-catching to someone. It's oddly endearing.

I tell him as much (excpet for the stuff about him being endearing, he doenst need his ego inflated any more than it already is)

He looks confused, I've never seen him look like that- its weird. Arrogant? sure. Annoyed? when is he not bffr. Happy? Once or twice. But confused? Weird. This is the guy with all the answers, the smart one.

He thinks for a moment, before seemingly making a desision. He stands up with a small huff of exhasperation, and walks off.

As he goes past me, he grabs my arm, more gently than I thought he was capable of. Okay, i guess im coming too. Fun, roadtrip time.

He takes me out of the lab and down the corridor, into a relatively well lit small room.

"Well this is-" before i can speak properly, he cuts me off. Told you he was a prick.

"I dont understand you Y/N" he blurts out, looking at me, as if I'm some sort of specimin hes studying in the lab.

"Well good." I joke. I dont like the serious tone he's taking. Dont like how aware I am of his gaze. HATE the fact I can feel my cheeks burning. Gross. Pinfield is a dick, we've established this. Why the fuck am I BLUSHING because he's LOOKING at me? Bit embarassing, pull it together Y/LN.

He doenst like this though. He shakes his head, pacing around.

"No Y/N you dont get it. I understand everyone, sort of anyways. I've observed them, I can predict their reactions to things. I know what they're all like- but you're... I just dont understand! You're so happy and nice all the time, but you also get angry at stupid stuff, but never really properly angry? I cant make sense of it, genuinely. You've not done anything wrong, you can't do anything wrong. Thats frustrating too. It's like you're this perfect, beautiful person, and I've been trying to see flaws but I cant-" He rambles, speaking like hes just letting out one stream of constant thoughts. He seems stressed, poor guy.

I interupt him, grabbing his arm. "Hey, c'mon Pinfi- I- Lars. C'mon Lars. I'm not worth the stress mate" I try and reassure him, but that just agitates him more.

"See! That's just it! I've been horrible to you, I admit it. But you've kept trying with me! When I hurt my hand you were the one who bandaged it and put it in a sling"

(i had found him almost blacked out from the pain on the lab floor, even the memory of it sent a shiver down my spine)

"you were the only one that looked for me after we all nearly died fighting Garraka"

("Pinfield? Pinfield!? Oh my god, there you are! Thank fuck you're alright!" Okay maybe this tiny non-crush had been going on longer than i thought... christ)

"I dont like the thought of you hurt..." i muttered, embarrased. this definitely wasnt how i was expecting this conversation to go, fuck my life I was crushing on a nerdy scientist who defintely didn't like me back.

He stopped his pacing and walked over to me until the gap between us was non existant. He slowly, hesitantly, lifted his hand until he cupped my cheek.

"I don't like the thought of you upset because of me" he muttered, his voice low.

My heart completely stopped, my breath caught in my throat, was this happening? how was this happening? i swear this guy was like my mortal enemy not even 5 minutes ago. so many revelations were bieng made today...

I decided to be bold, why not? fuck it, i've got nothing to loose at this point.

I leaned in so our noses just grazed eachother, looking at him, really genuinely looking at him. his soft blue eyes that seemed to peer into my soul. Not pierce through it, like some weird blue eyed fuckers i knew, but looked. gently, tenderly, as if he was looking at everything i ever had been, or would be. like i was something beautiful, something to be treaured.

It made me want to sob at the thought. god, how disgustingly sweet.

"make up for it then" i whispered, the tension so thick i could cut it with a knife.

I'd planned on being the one to make the forst move, but apparently, that was all that Lars needed.

He kissed me. His soft lips pressed against mine, sotfly, tenderly, tentatively.

I could feel the anxiety radiating off of him, so i quickly reciprocated. More eagerly than i owuldve liked- but oh well.

I could feel his hand resting on my waist, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. It all felt so tender, so raw, not at all how i thought it would be.

I felt like a teenager again, and couldnt resist letting out a small giggle, making Lars pull away. He looked confused again, making me laugh once again.

"What?" he aksed, a sort of amused smile on his face.

"Nothing- sorry. Nothing at all. Just thinking of how fuming mums gonna be when i tell her ive got a posho for a boyfriend"

"I am NOT posh!"

"you are a littleee"

"I AM NO- wait- boyfriend?"

"oh shit didnt mean to say that bi-"

he cut me off with another kiss, this one much more confident.

It felt like a million fireworks were going off in my head, oh I could definetly get used to this feeling. This war, sweet, happy feeling. My senses were flooded with everything Lars. His taste, his smell, his touch.

I felt like I was learning to live again.

[diyopup]

Francis and Tucker: Desperate CEO

Francis was in a bit of a bind. 

Earlier in the day, he had barely noticed his need to piss. Glass after glass of water had passed through his hands, as he worked tirelessly - sorting through emails, leading marketing sessions, doing other odds and ends for his job, as the CEO of AquaCycle, one of the companies that pioneered the cities first low impact water based cycling class. Of course, that meant he was surrounded by the sounds of splashing water each and every day. Whether that meant sitting in on classes, watching and approving promotional videos, or simply passing through the lobby, Francis was constantly exposed to splashing, flowing, trickling water. 

Today of all days, of course, he was acutely aware of just how loud the water was, as he shuffled frantically down the hallway to the elevators that would lead him to the lobby. The need to go had made itself aware just as soon as he had stood up to leave for the day, and now, as he hurried along, it was steadily growing worse. After all, he hadn't had the chance to go at all. Meeting after meeting, each droning on for eternity, had caused him to simply be too busy to even pay any mind to his bladder.

And of course, today, he got out late. Which meant that he hadn't had time to stop to piss before his driver got there. Francis was not a man who appreciated being held up, and so he was sure to uphold that with the people who provided their services to him as well. As he climbed into the back of the car, he fought back the urge to moan - his bladder had convulsed with the movement. 

“Good evening, sir. Just back home?” The driver asked cheerfully, as he was blissfully unaware of how badly his passenger needed the toilet. 

“Yes, thank you very much.” Francis said through gritted teeth, hoping he didn't sound annoyed. In reality, he was very, very annoyed, but only with himself for getting into this situation in the first place.  Each bump they hit, each sudden stop, was torturous. He was just thankful that he was able to hold his crotch as much as he needed in the backseat. 

Thankfully, the ride back to his apartment building was quick. He tipped the driver, then scrambled from the car to the entrance. Each moment was crucial, in his mind, to making it to the toilet. His shaking hands could barely push the door open as he was buzzed in. Once again, his bladder convulsed - and then, to his horror, a spurt flew from him and into his boxers. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” He whispered to himself, leaving dignity behind as he ran to the elevator, rushing inside and pressing the button to get to the top floor desperately. Every second he was faced with the building pressure in his bladder, no longer a throb, but a heat that felt nearly unbearable. When he finally reached his floor, he had to shuffle once again at a slow pace to hold it all in. He could see salvation soon, he was so close. Just a few more steps. Except he wasn't anticipating that he wouldn't be able to remove his hands from his crotch.

Francis was frozen in place in front of his apartment door, unable to move his hands in fear he would soak the floor and his own pants in the process. Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes as he stared at the wood in front of him, wishing he could will it open with his mind. He whimpered loudly, shifting from foot to foot in an effort to alleviate the pressure. 

Then, his luck seemed to turn. The door opened and in front of him stood his boyfriend, Tucker. 

Tucker was shocked to see his usually stoic boyfriend in such a precarious state. His eyes drank up the sight: Francis’ body, contorted like a pretzel, hands shoved between his legs as he potty-danced in front of the door. 

“Oh? Does puppy need to go potty?” He asked coyly, as he pulled his whimpering boyfriend inside. 

“Yes, yes, I need to go! Ive had to go since this morning and I just couldnt, and now it hurts and I feel like im going to burst!” Francis cried out, stamping his foot in emphasis. 

Tucker could see how desperate his poor puppy was, and decided to at least be merciful on him - this time. “Well, okay. Do you think you can make it to the toilet?” He asked softly. When he received no response from Francis, he realized that he was simply too full to even focus on words. Looking around, he tried to find a container that could hold the waters of his large bladdered boyfriend. After a moment, his eyes landed on the large vase beside the door that they used to hold umbrellas. “Okay, puppy. You’re going to pee in this vase.” He gestured to it. 

“Cant… Cant.” Francis sobbed. “Cant move…” 

Tuckers eyes widened as his lover cried out. He wondered just how busy Francis had been to let it get to this point. “Oh, my puppy, let me help.” He cooed, standing behind him. “Im going to move your hands away, puppy. You have to hold it for just one second while I unbutton your pants and pull you out.” He cooed. 

“Cant hold it…” Came another cry from Francis. 

“Yes, you can. Im going to help.” Tucker reassured him, as he pried his lovers hands away. He carefully unbuttoned his pants, pulling out his already dripping member and aiming it at the vase. He looked away to give him privacy, but, slowly realized that he heard no splattering sounds. “Francis? Whats the…” His eyes drifted to his lovers face, which was contorted in agony. 

“Cant pee in front of you…” He wailed, his body fighting itself. 

“Oh, puppy… Come on, now. Its alright.” He used his other hand to massage the bulge that protruded from his bladder. Then, in one swift motion, he pushed down hard. The sounds that erupted from Francis’ mouth were practically guttural, a fountain of piss erupted from him. Tucker watched as his lover became undone, crying from relief and embarrassment. Two long minutes and a shake later, he was soothing him back onto the couch. 

“Sorry…” Francis cried softly, unable to look Tucker in the eyes. 

“It’s alright, puppy. It was just an accident.” He cooed, hugging him tightly. “You’re going to be alright. Just lay down and let me take care of you.” He ran a hand over his cheek, wiping his tears away. “My good, sweet puppy.” 

[juyeoniemyhoney]

the simple things

Your country is physically incapable of snowing, much to your dismay. The closest thing you can get to snow is a copious amount of downpours. But as long as Jungkook is your boyfriend, snow in a country cursed with endless summer is not impossible anymore. 

-pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader 

-genre: fluff, established relationship

-warnings: a few vulgarities, may be a little stupid

-word count: 2103 words 

-A/N: hey guys it’s been a while since i posted. my exams ended like two weeks ago but ive been super inactive. ive just been in this really weird place creatively. but i hope this story makes up for it. i promise im trying to be more regular with posting fics. its only november but im already in a christmas mood! HAHA but anyways, hope you like it and my requests are open! 

--------

Something that you still have yet to comprehend is why your country still refuses to snow. Living close to the equator is all sorts of disappointing, especially for a hopeless romantic like you. But seriously, living in a country that only knows how to be hot means that most of the knowledge you know about winter romances are from sappy Christmas movies and the books you seem to like more than real people. You have complained about this topic to a multitude of people, as if your excessive, outspoken frustration will miraculously make it snow, and it does not help when these people, mostly your friends, reply back every single time with, “In December, it rains more, at least it’s more cool like that.” 

New friends seem more reasonable than having to hear that sentence again. 

At least Jungkook seems to agree with you. 

Indeed, the only good thing that comes out of your country’s insufferable refusal to just fucking snow is that Jungkook, your sweet, sweet, boyfriend, has always gone out of his way to make rainy days more special than they actually are. 

Jungkook usually doesn’t have time for you. As depressing as that sounds, it is mostly true. He is crazy devoted to his job as a video director and therefore, is mostly out and about, travelling all around the country and the world to film. But on rainy days, provided he is free from his jam-packed schedule, he has made it a habit to stay at home all day and shower you with all of his pent up affection, following you around your shared apartment like a lost puppy and endlessly pressing his lips to your skin, each one as if you are water and Jungkook is a man deprived. 

Today is a little different. 

You do not wake up early much, but it seems that every time you do, you are met with all sorts of unmistakably prejudiced misfortune. Like today, you had awoken early to head to the grocer for groceries that you were running low on. However, on your way home, the clouds had darkened with impending rain, seeming to look swollen, rather than fluffy. You had tried your best to reach home before it started to rain, but of course, you didn’t make it, rain falling from the sky, the downpour gradually getting heavier and you, gradually getting more and more wet, as if the universe was flashing the biggest middle finger to your face. 

You do not expect to see Jungkook waiting for you in the lobby of your apartment complex. 

“Kook?” you ask, a little breathless and drenched from head to toe. Jungkook, still in his pyjamas, stops his anxious pacing and looks up to you with heart-wrenchingly concerned eyes as he approaches you quickly. 

“Why do you always leave the house without an umbrella?” he scolds, though his concern outweighs his anger as he swaps the towel in his hand with the three bags of groceries you are holding. 

“Don’t you have work today?” you ask, unravelling the folded towel and wrapping it around your shoulders as the two of you head towards the elevators. Jungkook’s hair is unruly and tousled, the soft strands sticking up in different areas. His eyes are barely open, as if the purple half-moons under the glittering orbs are forcing them close, desperate for just a few more minutes of sleep. And it seems like he had left the house in a hurry, because his feet are clad in his bedroom slippers. Your heart swells at the sight. 

Jungkook frowns at you as the both of you step into the elevator, saying, “What do you mean? It’s raining today.”

“Yeah, but Kook, you can’t cancel work just because it’s raining. You’re a director,” you tell him with a raise of your eyebrows. He just flashes you a grin before stepping out of the elevator and making his way to your front door, waiting patiently in front of it for you to unlock it with your free hands. 

“Relax, all I have to do today is help with editing and thanks to the amazing invention of the email, I can do it at home.” 

You want to rejoice when you hear that he will be staying at home but you are too busy studying the fluffy white that litters the entrance of your home and seems to form a trail that leads further inside. You distractedly remove your shoes and haphazardly leave them by the door as you approach the substance, quickly bending down to pick it up, only for it to crumble from between your fingers. 

Distractedly, you gesture to Jungkook behind you, flailing your free hand to garner his attention. You start speaking when he lets out a soft hum of acknowledgement. “Kook, what is this?” 

Jungkook doesn’t answer you immediately but instead makes his way further into your apartment with the groceries in one hand and your wet shoes in the other (bless his benevolence), a secret smile turning the corners of his lips up as you trail behind him. 

“What the fuck,” is your reaction when the living room reveals itself. Your tone is not one of disbelief but one of awe because your living room is filled with the fluffy, white foam and there is a now a big Christmas tree right smack in the middle of your living room. The carpet has been rolled up and put away in the corner of the room and the sofa has been pushed flush against the wall opposite the television to make room for the white foam. 

“It’s fake snow,” you hear Jungkook answer from the kitchen, the rustling of plastic muffling his voice as he puts the groceries in their respective places. You see that the dryer is now running, you suppose, with your wet shoes inside it. Your heart warms at his thoughtfulness and as you turn around to look at Jungkook, you notice a big box of Christmas ornaments, ready for the both of you to decorate your new tree with. 

“Jungkook,” you call, flashing a pout in his direction, though he doesn’t see it, too busy putting away the ramen you bought into his precious ramen drawer to spare you a glance. He just hums again, to let you know he is listening, but he doesn’t have to listen because you do not say anything. Instead, you are creeping up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his warm back. He doesn’t seem to mind the fact that you are still damp from the rain and just continues to pack the drawer with ramen, humming again to let you know that his attention is still on you. You feel the vibration of the hum against your cheek and the feeling warms your insides up like hot chocolate.

“When did you do this?” you ask, changing your position so that instead of your cheek, your chin rests on his back, allowing you to look at him, even though all you can see is the back of his head; the sight still elicits an adoring smile from you. 

“Well, I started after you left and I was going to make some hot chocolate but then it started raining,” he tells you, turning around a little to glance down at you, flashing you a sweet smile that causes your heart to leap in your chest. 

“Why did you do this,” you continue to interrogate him as Jungkook shuts the drawer, turning around in your arms to face you, his own arms coming around your shoulders. You rest your chin on his chest and Jungkook smiles down at you with a smile that could end world wars. 

“I know I’ve been isolating myself in my office recently. And I know how much you love snow. Plus, it’s November and I’m excited for Christmas,” Jungkook explains. He keeps his voice soft, lips stretching into an easy grin as he looks at you, gaze soft and apologetic and sweet, like his eyes are oozing with honey. You feel like your insides are a meadow in spring, flowers in full bloom, green grass, with bees and butterflies, and a warm spring breeze to finish it off. 

You flash him a grateful smile, tiptoeing so that your foreheads meet, noses brushing each other. At first, you both just simply look at each other, gazes loving and soft. “I love you so much,” is what you mutter before your lips finally meet, no hesitation, but instead, sure, with a practiced familiarity. Jungkook’s lips are as you remember, soft yet firm and he kisses you like he always seems to do on rainy days, desperate and taking, as if he is slowly drawing your heart out of your chest, before it finally falls and lands in his hands. And you allow him to take it. 

“I love you so much too,” Jungkook mutters between kisses, decidedly planting a loving peck to your nose, and then your forehead, and then both your cheeks, before finishing it off with a searing kiss to your lips. Your affection for him multiplies by a thousand and the sheer amount of it seems to shove your heart out of your chest; you can feel it in the way it strains against your ribcage with each thud and in the way it pumps hot blood to your cheeks, red, like a warning that it is choosing to jump ship and surrender itself to Jungkook. 

“Let’s go and decorate the Christmas tree,” you suggest to Jungkook, taking tentative steps backwards and in the direction of the living room. You expect Jungkook to let go of you but he holds you close to him and stays planted to the ground, unwavering. You flash him a look of confusion that elicits a small chuckle from him. 

“You have to take a warm bath first, sweetheart. Or you’ll catch a cold,” he explains, pulling you in the direction of the bathroom. He proceeds to draw you a bath, occasionally feeling the temperature of the water, not too hot and not too cold, but warm enough to rid your body of any cold symptoms. When he is satisfied, he is pressing a kiss to your lips and exiting the bathroom, gently closing the door behind him and leaving you in silence that your thoughts invade immediately.

You rid your body of your damp clothes and lower yourself into the tub, the sudden warm water and change of temperature eliciting goosebumps to the surface of your skin and you allow your thoughts to run. 

Now that you think about it, when you had first met Jungkook, he seemed standoffish and closed off, like you’d had to try for a thousand years before you could earn his trust and loyalty. For some reason, to you, Jungkook seemed too caught up with himself to care about other people, too busy to notice the small things. But when you started dating him, he was the exact opposite. Like you said, Jungkook doesn’t always have time for you. Even then, when he was still a student, he was always nose-deep in assignments and projects and his internship. But despite the fact that you don’t spend as much time with him as you’d like, Jungkook has always managed to remember the little things. Like how he know that you love winter and snow, how he knows your exact order from Starbucks and bubble tea, how he knows your favourite movies to watch, and how he always clears time to read anything new you’ve written. You know that there are a multitude of things that sustain your relationship, but you like to think that Jungkook’s unadulterated benevolence and thoughtfulness is one of the main reasons why you love him so much. 

When you emerge from the steamy bathroom, you are smelling more of lavender and vanilla and less of rainwater. Jungkook is getting ready to decorate the Christmas tree, pulling the box so that it is just under the tree and opening it to reveal the distinctive colours that are always associated with Christmas, green, red and white. 

You two immediately begin dressing the tree, and soon enough, the tree is sparkling and twinkling and beautiful. And as Jungkook places the golden star right at the top of the tree, he looks down at you and flashes you a blinding grin that you’re positive can outshine the sun every single time. And you think that even if you wanted winter to be snowy and cold, as long as Jungkook is with you, you’ll always be warm. 

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).

also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”

Translation by KumoriYami

Track 1

Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....

Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!

Hm~. as long as this strange drug  "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......

She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?

Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.

No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)

Track 2

Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.

Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.

Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.

Saito:.....So what you're saying is......

Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.

Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......

Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.

Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.

Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].

(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)

Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.

Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.

Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?

Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.

Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?

Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?

Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']

Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......

Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!

Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.

Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku ！？

Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?

Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!

Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......

Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?

Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......

Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......

(Hijikata collapses)

Saito: Vice-Commander!!

Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!

(Harada collapses)

Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!

(Saito collapses)

Track 3

(footsteps)

Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?

Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~

Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~

Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.

Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.

Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry.......  Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?

Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.

Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?

Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?

Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.

Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.

Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......

(they open the door and leave the room)

Track 4

Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!

Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?

Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......

Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?

~music tune~

Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?

Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.

Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......

Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.

Saito:.....!!  Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!

Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.

Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?

Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.

~music tune~

Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!

Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!

Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!

Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.

Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.

Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.

Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......

Hijikata: No, that's impossible......

Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......

???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].

Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?

Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?

Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations?  I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?

~music tune~

Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...

Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.

Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!

Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!

Saito: Understood (draws sword)

Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?

Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?

Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?

Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.

Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!

Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!

Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!

Kazama:.......Che.

Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!

Harada: Hold it, Saito!

Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!

Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!

Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!

Kazama:  Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!

Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......

Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!

Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.

Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?

Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."

Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!

Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.

Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem? 

Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...

Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.

Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.

Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......

(voices heard in distance)

Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~

Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?

Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?

Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)

Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!

Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!

Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!

Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!

Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......

Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.

Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!

Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?

Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.

Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?

Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!

Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.

Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!

(door slides open)

Heisuke: Hijikata-san~!  Hah!? Still not here......

Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.  

Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?

(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)

Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!

Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!

Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~

(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)

Hijikata:………………！！！！

Saito:…………！

Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?

Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~

Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?

Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].

Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.

Saito: ………………What!?

Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?

Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!

Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.

Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?

Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.

Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...

--To be continued...?---

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

Just saw your vent post and I think diving into your self indulgent stuff might help. For me personally, when working on original stuff, that's when I'll think about things like appealing to others/marketability/etc, but when it comes to fandom stuff, the only audience I care to pander to is Me, Myself, and I. Other people sometimes end up liking it, mostly it just goes ignored, maybe a like by a mutual if they see it. I prefer it this way, since worrying about appealing to more people when writing fanfic makes it feel too much like Writing I Do For Work, and I even never use betas for that same reason, it makes it feel too much like Work Writing, when fandom is Fun Writing.

I'm not sure what you do outside of fandom, but you have so much creativity, I've kinda assumed you've either been doing creative work or are studying to go into it--I can see you in a character design shop tbh, I can see Pin being a villain people would just eat up and love or love to hate.

If you're in a creative field, I feel like it's just good practice to go into Work Creative Space and Fandom Creative Space with different intents, if anything for the sake of mental health, as I've been in a very similar place, where silence on my fandom work would make me rethink what I'm doing, make me want to retcon WIPs, thinking "Maybe if I change this to that or this ship to that ship or change this character to be closer to fanon, more people will want to read/will comment/whatever".

You sound like you already very well know this isn't a healthy mindset, so I'm not going to go into that. I'll just say dive into that self indulgence, whether or not you're doing original creative work in the background as a job/part of study. You have great stuff, but audiences can get burned out just like creatives do. Sometimes it's because they're also creatives. Sometimes it's just burn out from seeing so much art/writing/media ALL THE TIME.

Something a professor told me was that if you got to go to an art museum, and you tried to really appreciate each piece, you'd end up exhausted before finishing even one section of the museum. This can lead to the 'mindless scrolling' a lot of the time. Fandom is becoming a large part of a lot of people's lives, but for most people, it's secondary or even tertiary media, and they're already putting a lot of energy into enjoying and appreciating the media they're in fandoms for. (Yes, there are some people who 'set fire to canon' and are in the center area of a fandom, but most people are closer to the sides, occasionally popping in from time to time but not setting up tents, if that makes sense.) So many of those people just don't have the energy to really get involved with a lot of media produced my fan creators, especially if they follow a lot of them and can only comment or otherwise get involved with a few posts/creators at a time. This can be what often leads to some 'visiting' the same 3-4 creators more often than they may go to another creator.

Setting up a place and waiting for more people to filter in can feel exhausting all by itself, especially when you're trying to create more to fill more of that space and hopefully entice more people to pop in and see what's going on.

When you focus on self indulgence for a while, you're not always looking at the door, since you usually don't expect people to walk in (at least, I never expect it), so when people actually do come in and tap you on the shoulder to see what you're working on and if they can see, it can really help offer that extra boost you need.

I really don't think you're doing anything wrong. A lot of artists who don't do what those "How to get more followers" tips still find an audience, sometimes due to the niche, sometimes starting out niche but expanding as more ideas get tossed in. Some artists who by the book, seem to do everything right, don't get nearly as much. There's really not a right or wrong way to create or share your creations. There are just a /lot/ of creators, so a lot of times, it boils down to how people find your door.

These are all really good points so I am going to share. Honestly a lot of my GerCanMano stuff is pure self indulgence but you're honestly right I think I'm probably gonna focus on some self indulgent shinanigans for a bit, and stop worrying as much about getting things out on time and making it perfect

but I do wanna point out this cause it hit me;

I'm not sure what you do outside of fandom, but you have so much creativity, I've kinda assumed you've either been doing creative work or are studying to go into it--I can see you in a character design shop tbh, I can see Pin being a villain people would just eat up and love or love to hate.

I was in school, but I never declared my major so I had to stop temporarily because I honestly don't know what major to be. There's so many things I like to do, but I don't know if I want to make a career out of them if that makes sense.

Like art, I love art and video games, I'd love to do things like animation or graphic design or be my own indie developer, but I worry if thinking about a game like a business slash whats making me money will ruin the creative process. It wont be making things for the joy of making things, it would be for my job because I had to, and idk- that just isn't as fun. Im worried about that mentality sinking in. I like them but idk if I wanna have to take them full on seriously as a career.

I'm trying to get a minimum wage job right now but its hard to find a job right now in the US job climate, especially with the fact that I have to find job willing to cater to a disability I have currently offrecord because my doctor wouldnt listen to me. Which is even harder because Ive had to walk away from jobs before because they wouldnt give me accomedations without doctors recommendation.

I am planning to set up a Etsy shop right now actually. I need to get a printer, but otherwise hopefully soon I will have a store up with stickers and preorders for keychains. One day I plan to get a button press and make my own buttons. I have hetalia merch planned, as well as my ocs. I'd love and have designs for all sorts of stuff, custom tshirt designs- like subtle hetalia fan stuff like pockets on the chest witht he character "sticking out" with familiar hetalia patterns. I have miraculous ladybug stuff planned. My friend gave me the idea of aster's heart as a friendship necklace and I love it, I could imagine all sorts of needle and thread themed pin merch I have a lot of ideas its just designing and making them and seeing if people would buy them.

I dont quite know what you mean by character design shop if thats something different or not, but yes.

Ill save a ramble about pin for a seperate post this ask is long and so is my response so Ill stop

[jiyeong]

bmblb flowershop au

been CRAVING this for weeks so i wrote one on twitter and im gonna do a post here too so i don’t lose it in my 43k tweets in case i ever do anything more with it (’: but here’s my bee flowershop au pls enjoy. it’s set in late spring/early summer

yang, age 18 and freshly out of highschool, gets her driver’s license and immediately asks for a motorcycle. taiyang gives her the keys to the family minivan instead and tells her if she wants a deathmobile, she can get a job and buy it herself

she’s walking down the main shopping street looking for job opportunities when she sees a cute girl putting up a “help wanted” sign outside a flowershop. it’s blake. the cute girl is blake.

it’s a delivery job and she applies immediately and gets it mostly because she’s the only one who applied, but ironically also because the minivan is big enough to hold large bouquets, has a 5star safety rating, and also does not go faster than 35mph so its extremely unlikely that she will be in any accidents lol

blake’s family’s shop is very popular, and they do a lot of weddings and big events. it’s an on-call job and she gets called in maybe once or twice a week. it’s always blake calling her in, and they always have a nice chat before she has to go deliver the flowers

she finds out blake is the owner’s only daughter, so she’s probably off limits so like ok. disappointing but whatever it’s easy money and she gets to talk to a hot girl every time she goes to work so this is fine

but then she starts getting some really weird deliveries...

the first one is to a wrestling tournament at some prep school. it’s for a boy (sun wukong, the delivery slip says) who giggles like a little schoolgirl as soon as he sees her coming with the flowers, and before he’ll sign for the delivery, starts talking to her about sports and her workout routines, etc

he’s a nice guy, they talk for a bit, and she asks if he got the flowers because he won and he says no, it’s the nationals and he made third place. the whole time he’s grinning like it’s some kind of inside joke, so that’s what she figures it is.

when she goes back to the flowershop, she tells blake about it, about how weird it was delivering to a wrestling tourney of all things- and she’s laughing too.

yang mentions looking at the delivery slip and that she’s never heard of the flowers before. this gets blake GOING.

she tells her that they’re ranunculus flowers, more commonly known as buttercups in some other flowershops, and that they symbolize attraction, that you find someone charming.

“huh. guess he has some big fan out there,” yang laughs.

“yeah,” blake smiles softly, “guess so.”

the second time it happens, it’s a delivery to some small town fashion magazine publisher. this time, blake mentions the flowers before yang leaves.

it is a mixture of carnations,lilies, and white orchids, and they all symbolize, to some degree, beauty. yang supposes it’s fitting considering she’s going to a fashion magazine, i guess??? this makes blake laugh a bit. yang thinks her laugh is really very cute.

the flowers are for a velvet scarlatina. yang notices her fidgeting as she drops them off in her office. it’s not a nervous fidget, more like she’s excited but is a bit too shy to say and doesn’t know how to express it, maybe?

so yang asks. velvet’s surprised by the question, but she smiles and tells her anyways. she’s just been promoted to lead photographer, she’ll have an entire photo editing department to lead starting tomorrow, and it’s probably the biggest thing that’s ever happened to her. it’s exciting! she’s excited! yang congratulates her, she’s genuinely happy for this girl. she seems like a hard worker.

as yang turns to leave, velvet stops her, holds up a camera slowly, and softly asks if she can take yang’s picture. to test out her new lens, she adds.

it’s a little weird, but okay; artsy people are always weird, yang’s smokin hot on a normal day, AND she’s having an incredible hair day today, if she does say so herself. so she agrees. before she leaves, velvet hands her a small rabbit’s foot, “for good luck.”

this time, yang tells both blake and ruby/weiss about it. blake seems amused, but doesn’t say much, and ruby immediately demands to see the rabbit’s foot charm.

while ruby is occupied by the charm, weiss asks yang how her new job is going. yang gets stuck talking about blake, how cute she is and how smart she is and how nice she is. her smile and her face and her voice.

at this point even ruby’s tuned back in.

so, they do what any good sister/sister’s weirdly obsessive girlfriend would do. they tag along the next time she gets called in to work.

ruby and weiss immediately drift to a section of shop on their own, distracted. ruby’s picking out a bouquet of roses for weiss (ugh, yang thinks) as yang walks to the counter where blake sits. this time the bouquet is simple, made of only one flower: gardenias.

“it symbolizes purity and love,” blake tells her.

“wow i feel like 90% of these flowers symbolize purity and love,” yang jokes. it makes blake chuckle, so very softly, and yang feels like a hammer has dropped in her chest. love. oh no.

“probably accurate. gardenias though, if you were wishing to send someone your undying love anonymously, you would send them gardenias,” blake muses, eyes drifting over to ruby and weiss making a fuss in the corner. “it’s a symbol for a secret love.”

yang’s head is screaming. oh no.

yang ends up leaving (ditching) ruby and weiss there with blake.

the flowers are being sent to the same prep school as the wrestling tournament, but instead of the gym she’s headed for the locker rooms. there’s a sign for a track meet today, and the flowers are for an ilia amitola, some star on the team, yang guesses, as she walks through the school.

ilia is the only one still in there, and yang senses the hostility immediately.

ilia absolutely GRILLS her, there’s no other way to describe it. she asks her question after question about her tastes, her hobbies, her personal life. it’s a little intimidating, and yang is still sort of distracted from her revelation at the flowershop (oh nO) so she answers them all.

ilia’s quiet for a bit at the end before signing the slip and letting yang go.

“don’t fuck it up,” she says as yang’s leaving the room. what the hell???

when she gets home she immediately storms into ruby’s room.

“i think im in love with her,” she’s freaking out. pacing. weiss is in there too, because of course she is, and they’re both just staring at her blankly.

apparently, it was obvious.

“I don’t know why you’re freaking out,” weiss huffs. “when was the last time you dated a girl? like, actually, with feelings??”

“shut UP weiss you’re not invited to this conversation. ruby, sweet ruby, my wonderful adorable baby sister with a strange addiction to model guns and extremely violent shooting games, how the fuck do i get over the cute flower girl that makes me feel like i want to bash my head against the concrete??”

“uhhh well, for one, i think weiss has great ideas so im re-inviting her into the conversation. (”thank you,” weiss huffs, because she was raised to be polite even while offended) and two, just, like, uhhh don’t???”

they convince yang to confess to blake. but yang’s like ok it’s been a while since ive had actual, swear-to-god, feelings, so she wants to do something ROMANTIC. something BIG. something GAY.

yang’s saved up a nice chunk of cash from her job - and okay, who needs a motorcycle when you could get a girlfriend? and like, okay, blake works at the shop, so she’s not quite sure if flowers are an appropriate idea, but she’s literally always reading books on flower meanings and flower dictionaries and looking at natgeo magazines etc so she watches shia lebeouf’s just do it video and why the hell not

but she has to do it right - and she asks the only flower experts she knows other than blake. blake’s parents. she wants to get their okay as well anyways - she’d quit if she had to - so it’s like two birds one stone. but yang’s been charming them since her interview, and they’re almost strangely enthusiastic about helping set up their only daughter.

she gets weiss to place the order, because ruby can’t stop giggling on the phone. it’s a HUGE bouquet - full of every flower that symbolizes love that mr & mrs belladonna recommended her. it’s almost embarrassing listening to weiss list the flowers and knowing that blake is the one receiving the order.

the bouquet is so huge that yang insists that she needs help carrying it. conveniently, ruby and weiss are busy doing something gay, so they aren’t free to help her. blake raises her eyebrow when her parents send her off with yang to help. yang thinks it’s very attractive.

the address is a meadow right on the outskirts of town. lots of rolling hills, lots of swaying trees, the sky is clear and you can already see the moon even though it isn’t nighttime yet. it’s all very scenic, a perfect wedding venue. it’s late afternoon when they leave the shop.

“preparing for a wedding so late in the day is so strange,” blake comments on the way there, playing with the radio stations like she owns the van. it makes yang’s heart clench. can you die early from too much feeling? how awful. “what eccentric people, to be having their ceremony so late at night.”

“aha... y-yeah, eccentric people for sure,” yang sweats.

they park on the hill, and there’s no one there. blake steps out of the van, confused. she’s looking at the sunset and it’s as picture perfect as she thought it would be, but where is everyone?

and when she turns around, yang is holding the very large bouquet perfectly fine on her own. she almost shoves it into blake’s face.

“they’re for you,” yang blurts out immediately. “i’m the eccentric people.”

blake’s all ??? for a second. and then it sinks in and she’s laughing because, “do you know how much these flowers cost? did you literally spend all your money on a bouquet of flowers for me, a florist’s daughter who is literally around flowers all day?”

turns out blake has also been spending her money on bouquets for all of her friends uncharacteristically often, with their consent of course, just to get the cute new delivery girl into the store more so she could see her and maybe have a chat. they’ve been returning the flowers with small favors of their own - non-consensual blake makes sure to point out - namely, yang’s favorite workout spots, some really cute not-at-all-candid pictures of yang, and what basically amounted to, yup u guessed it, an entire autobiography of yang herself. god.

they kiss as the sun’s last rays are fading, laughing, on a hill almost an hour’s drive away in a rusty old minivan, and over a ridiculously unnecessary amount of flowers. it’s pretty fuckin gay.

[dawnowar]

I spend all this time by myself

and i use it to think about everything. 

Before Covid-19 i was fed up with my clients for getting me sick all the time and kind of sick of the rut I was in and starting to think about what else I might like to do. The truth is I wanted to workout. Like all the time. I was considering the possibility of maybe becoming an instructor even though I know its not a money-maker because it was the thing i was most interested in spending my time doing.

But then came the lockdown and I packed in my business and got a job stocking grocery store shelves. Which I liked. Its just that perfect combo of physical and fussy work that I liked so much and I could listen to podcasts and no one had reason to take issue with what I was or wasn’t doing. I just couldn’t sleep during the day. I couldn’t do it. 

So i got a work-from-home job and now i dont go anywhere or do anything with anyone and I’m home all day by myself.

I get better at it being home all the time by myself the more I do it which is both good, because thats the best way to be right now, and bad because I find myself less and less interested in connecting with other people. 

Not out of fear of coronavirus or anything like that, but once I quit facebook I realized that mostly wasnt any real connection with anyone on there. Just chatter and wasted emotion over things that don’t matter at all if you don’t log in. 

I decided it’d be better to try to reach out to people individually. At least one every day. To stay connected. to be connected. to really be connected.

but then maybe one day i didnt feel like it and ive kind of mostly stopped doing that too. 

I was video chatting with people when we were all staying home but everyone’s just stopped doing it. Everyone just started pretending Covid-19 wasn’t a thing anymore and going back out and doing everything they normally would but just carrying a mask around with them. I guess that’s sort of tempting but then not really either. I mean the things i used to do that im not doing now are standing in small sweaty rooms with people breathing on each other. Whether thats workouts or bars, its exactly the activities to avoid and I never did much else. So I stay home now by myself.

I don’t get a lot of invites to hang out w people, although i could do the inviting and people would come over but it makes me think thoughts about how all my adult life I’ve been the kind of person who goes out and knows everyone everywhere she goes. And then I go home. By myself. On purpose. 

I’ve always lived alone on purpose. And i go out when i want to socialize with other people. But my home is my oasis of personal peace where everything is mine and its just the way I like it and I can relax and no one else is invited.

So its comfortable here. I have my cats and my TV and a big bag of coffee and my alexa and its fine. I’m fine here. 

I do a lot of thinking. About why im like this and why its not normal and who cares if it is or not and how I never intended to be all alone for lengths of time like this when I set up my life this way, and how its kind of OK even though I kind of wish I had a partner to do stuff with and be close to since I don’t.

But not because i feel like I need one.

Because I feel like it’d be nice to have one sometimes.

I always had people around me whenever i wanted people around me. I was never a person who was lacking for companionship. 

So here I am, lacking for companionship, and i feel OK mostly about it. Strangely enough. But i feel like im not supposed to be OK, which makes me feel even weirder about getting better at this as I go. 

Here I am at i think its the 5 1/2 month mark now, isn’t it? 

and its fine. Still. 

I don’t love my job but I love that i got it. I mean I made a huge pivot as fast as I could when I saw this pandemic thing for what it was. what it is. and in fact, my first one didnt work out so i made a second one and now im in a great position to survive. 

Even if everyone else kind of said fuck it, who cares how many people die, im not staying in anymore... Here I am ready to ride it all out, probably for as long as it takes in a good position financially and personally. Go me. I am proud of myself for figuring out what to do. 

But at the same time, as i settle into my new work-from-home schedule, i find myself less and less interested in socializing at all with anyone and more and more okay with staying home by myself.

I dream about X boyfriends because i dont have any current ones to dream about and I don’t have anything interesting to talk about with people because nothings happened to me. Maybe thats why I don’t want to socialize anymore. They don’t have anything to talk about either. 

The zoom chats got super-boring after the first few weeks because no one was doing anything and we all just ran out of stuff to talk about. 

So I stay home by myself and i think about things. Everything. Every single thing i’ve ever done in my whole life. I think about all of it in some detail. Look at it from some new vantage point. Why im like i am, the things that have happened to me to shape me into this person, the things I’ve done and the way I’ve handled them and what i didn’t know i could have or should have done at the time instead of what I actually did. How things might have turned out differently for better or for worse if this had happened or that had happened or if i’d known what i know now or if that one thing hadn’t happened or if that other thing had happened.

And how mostly it would all just have all always played out again the same way due to the circumstances of the moment even if I had it to do over. And how that’s fine. Because thats how I got to where I’m at right now. And im fine. 

Even if I am alone in a pandemic that doesnt seem to be ending anytime soon.

I guess i can just go back out again whenever I feel ready to do that like everyone else seems to have already done. 

Or maybe I never will. 

I wanted a change. I was already starting to spend a lot less time going out and knowing everybody. Thanks to the divisive politics of a certain president, I’d come to see a lot of ‘friends’ of mine in a different light and distanced myself from a good amount of people in the last few years, but that’s only part of what was going on with me. 

For whatever reason, the last few years, my love-life has been a string of the guys I’m really into not liking me back or not taking me seriously as a real partner, while the very few guys who seem to show any real interest in me are the ones I don’t like back. 

So I was down a lot of friends and there were no boyfriends and going out was depressing unless there was a band i liked playing. Because I’m at this age now where im like 20+ years too old for the guys in this college town, so there’s no one to meet and if the band playing isn’t any good then it was just a waste of time and money to go out. 

Staying home is fine for me, but I do wonder if this is it for me. This is the rest of my life. I’m a spinster with cats and that’s it. I never had kids cause i never wanted any. I’ve always been fine with that. But when theres nothing to do and nowhere to go and I’m alone all the time, maybe having had kids wouldn’t have been so bad if they would be people i could be doing stuff with.

But do I even want to do stuff? I don’t even know. I mean i could do stuff but I dont want to. I could invite people over to hang out in my backyard, but I dont think i want to. In another month it’ll be cold for hanging out outside. 

Will I want to do stuff then?? or will the numbers go back up once people are all indoors breathing on each other all the time again? 

Will I be happy I have this job i dont like in my house? I get to stay here and be safe and do whatever i want to do whenever i want to do it by myself all the time. Till its over. or till im done. whichever comes first. or whichever comes last.

What will things look like when its over? What will I be like when it’s over? Will it even ever be over? I know no one knows. But this is what I think about. It’s all I do. Think about all of this. Think about everything I’ve ever done and everything I ever will do and everyone I ever did anything with.

And how I’m fine.

and whether or not I should be fine. 

and if being fine in and of itself while I’m alone for months during a global pandemic is all really just some issues I have because of being raised poorly. 

Or maybe I’m just fine and doing well.

and maybe I’m just thinking about everything because I’m not on facebook. And maybe everyone is on facebook because they don’t want to be thinking about everything.

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.3

did you know that tumblr no longer has those lil.. lines that i liked to separate my notes from my fic with? i didnt. until now. unbelievable.

SO NOW I HAVE TO SUPPLY MY OWN and hopefully this is fine

anyway. ive been... dead for a while. summer destroyed all motivation to do Anything, but ive been forcing myself to write on and off and this part feels... shorter than it should be, but

anyway! i am alive! i have plans! i have things to write! some of them are never going to be on this blog bc theyre original works, but im always open to talk abt them skdfhdsfh

warnings: uhhhhhhh vague manipulation, and i think thats it? just general. squip. yea.

         The last time you had seen Michael Mell as a friend had been the beginning of sophomore year. He and Jeremy sat on either side of you in his basement, clutching controllers and halfheartedly playing video games. Soda went untouched and unopened, snacks left alone, and too many times had Jeremy lost on games he knew like the back of his hand. The air had been stiff and uncomfortable, and the feeling had seeped into your nerves and bones to make your stomach turn at the thought of staying longer. Jeremy wasn’t quite there, and Michael was trying too hard to be extra present to make up for it. He became doting on the two of you - quick to refill a snack bowl that had barely been touched with Jeremy following him out of the basement. That was when you found your phone and called your parents, asking if they could come pick you up - bullshitting some excuse about how you felt sick. When Michael came down, he saw you packing up your things with a half-assed apology and a shitty acting job before you tore up the stairs and nearly rammed into Jeremy in the process. Your chest had tightened as you pushed past him with a quick apology and went to wait on the front steps outside for your mom to come get you.

          That had been the beginning of the end. After that day, Jeremy had slowly stopped talking to you almost completely. Michael had tried to patch things up, to keep things going, and then he just stopped abruptly. To make things worse, you had broken down at school a few weeks after everything went silent, because you’d been alone. You wiped at your face roughly with the sleeve of your hoodie, and left the bathroom. Barely seconds after you had turned the corner to head to class, you ran straight into him - headphones on and head down - only for his gaze to find yours the moment you stumbled back. He opened his mouth to speak, and you stumbled through a rough, shitty apology before you pushed past him and onward to your class. And then you avoided him purposefully, not wanting to address that little moment of weakness you had.

          And now you were sitting in front of him, eyes red and tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to find your voice. Your back pressed into cold metal, the lockers clanging behind you as you pulled away and tried to say something, anything to explain yourself. But Michael just stared at you, uncertain about what to say to you. Your legs were like stone, almost as if something was keeping you from darting away, from finding a safer place to land and cry and get over the tears forced from your body.

          “[y/n]?” Michael finally said, still staring at you. The lights overhead gleamed off his glasses and headphones as he pulled them down and around his neck, music loud enough for you to hear. He gave you a quick once-over, his attention now fully on you. “You okay?”

          You went to nod only for another sob to overtake you instead. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” you admitted after a moment, voice shaking and broken. And it was sort-of true.

          “Are you sure?” He said, “hey, I, uh, I know I sorta stopped talking to you and that was kinda shitty but... I’m still here if you need someone to talk to, alright?” After a moment, he tacked on another thought, “do you need a ride home?”

         Immediately, you didn’t want to say yes. It didn’t feel right to. But you’re already nodding before you can debate anything further. “Yeah,” you said slowly at first, reaching up and wiping at your eyes. Realization hit you quick. Your bag. “Shit.”

         “What’s wrong?”

         “I, uh, kinda left my bag in the auditorium.” You hesitated to step away - you didn’t really want to go back and make an excuse to leave, to let anyone see you with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Michael... can you-”

         “On it,” he gave you a small, two-finger salute, “I’ll be back in a sec!”

         As Michael took off down the hallway, you felt a pit develop in your stomach while he disappeared around the corner. Nothing felt right. You looked around for a moment, acutely aware of how silent everything had gone. When your SQUIP materialized in front of you, you avoided its gaze as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself for a moment. The world felt a little colder, a little dimmer, and everything was off. The sound of Michael’s approaching footsteps minutes later played the steady beat for your incoming guilt-induced breakdown, and yet the boy smiled at you - as if nothing was wrong. Maybe that was because it looked like nothing was wrong. The strap of your bag was tossed over his shoulder, bouncing against his own backpack, and yet he looked at you like you were still friends.

        “Thanks,” you finally said as you reached for your bag.

        Michael stepped back, “I’ve got it,” he said with a smile, “don’t worry.”

       You let your arm fall back to your side, only to then shove your hands into your pockets. “Thanks,” you said, avoiding eye contact for a moment.

       The walk to Michael’s car was mostly quiet, with concerned glances thrown your way every now and then - that, when you caught then, were met with insecure smiles at the situation he’d been pulled into. Which.... frankly, threw you off a bit. Michael had always been the one who was better with all this feelings shit - you and Jeremy had the unhealthy habit of bottling everything up. And now Michael walked in step with you, still warm as ever - and still wearing that damn red hoodie you swore he showered in, but it still made you smile because of course Michael still took good care of it. When you hesitated for half a step upon seeing his P.T. Cruiser, he looked back at you before you shot him an uneasy smile and continued towards the passenger side. One of his moms must have given it to him - whether for his birthday or as a gift for passing his driver’s test, you weren’t sure. But the seats were still well-worn, a Pac-Man sticker stuck on the head-rest of the driver’s seat that Michael had stuck there when bored out of his mind. It was worn with age, like you’d expect it to be, but you suppressed a small smile at the fact it was still there.

      If the walk to Michael’s car had been quiet (with the occasional snippit of Michael saying something about how he still feels bad about what happened between the three of you, or about how he’s kinda sorry about the walk to the back of the parking lot) then the ride to your house was dead silent. Music flooded through the car speakers, Michael’s phone resting in your lap due to him pushing it in your direction and telling you to play whatever you want, and his attention was fully on the road - the sound of his phone’s GPS spitting out directions every so often to guide him. You watched out the window, a small sense of dread resting in your stomach the entire way, and for some reason... you felt sick.

      When the car started to roll to a stop, Michael reached up and turned the music down. “Hey, uh, you still have my number, right?”

      You blinked at him for a moment, before pulling out your phone. “I, uh, think so?” You opened your contacts, flipping through them, “I don’t think I deleted it or anything-”

      “Good,” he smiled at you, “if you ever wanna hang out, I’m, uh, pretty free since Jeremy’s busy with this whole.. play... thing.” He paused for a moment, only to follow it up quickly with “I mean if you aren’t doing anything, since - I dunno, you aren’t apart of the cast so-”

      “Okay,” you cut him off, “yeah, sure - I’m only painting the set for it, so... I’ll probably try to do that during lunch.”

      “I, uh,” he began, nodding towards your jacket, “I like your pin. Have you ever played the old shit?” When you shook your head, he was filled with excitement. “Dude. You have to come over then. I’ve got the classic Zelda stuff if you wanna play.”

      Running a hand through your hair, you just sort-of nodded in response as you opened the car door, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Thanks for the ride, Michael.”

      You closed the car door, taking a few steps back as he pulled off and drove away, before you turned and head up to your house - pausing to notice your parent’s cars were missing. Right. Letting your bag fall down to your elbow, you began to fish through it to find your keys tucked away in the bottom of your bag, and you nearly sent the contents of your bag spilling when you went to pull it back to your shoulder. But with lightning reflexes that weren’t your own, you managed to snap into action and pull it shut before anything could spill - and when you looked up, your SQUIP was standing before you.

      Huh. “... Thank you?” You zipped your bag back up, letting yourself into your house.

      “You should stick to hanging out with Michael,” your SQUIP said, watching you head into your bedroom

      Dropping your backpack onto your bed, you shrugged at the idea as you began to search for your homework. “I mean, sure, he’s still a cool guy-”

      “Michael is close to Jeremy,” it said, as if the fact wasn’t obvious, “therefore, if you get closer to Michael, you’ll get closer to Jeremy.”

      You stopped. “Isn’t that using Michael?”

      “You were friends with him before. It’s rekindling your friendship that just so happens to mean you’ll rekindle something with Jeremy.” It said, “you aren’t manipulating him.”

      You shook your head, setting one binder down and searching for another. “I don’t really like this,” you said, “I don’t want do hurt Michael or anything-”

      “Why would you be hurting him by being friends with him?”

      Thinking it over, you finally nod a little. “... I guess you’re right,” you looked down at the textbook in your hands. “It just feels wrong-”

      “Don’t feel, [y/n],” it stepped beside you, turning your head to meet it’s steely gaze. “Just listen. I’m here to help you.”

      Reluctantly, you nod. “... Right.”

      So you did. The next day, Rich fell into step beside you - inviting you to stop acting like a loner and to sit with him and Jake and the rest of his friends. You debated taking him up on the offer for a moment, only to spot Michael sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria. You declined immediately, not looking back as you crossed the room to join Michael. That became your routine - sliding into a seat near Michael, talking about video games and whatnot, and occasionally letting the topic slip to Jeremy as Michael had the habit of occasionally venting about the boy.

       “I mean,” he started one day, pointing a fork in your direction, “you remember how he is. He’s just... so in love with her,” he shook his head, “and, I mean, yeah, it’s Christine, but he could, y’know... not abandon me every day.”

      You nodded, “I’m sure he’s just blinded by his crush, Michael.”

      He nodded, stabbing into his burrito bowl, “I know...” He trailed off, looking away for a moment, “I just... he’s excited about this and - and that’s great! He’s actually sort-of talking to Christine!” He smiled back at you, “every time he talks about her, he gets that stupid look on his face. He practically has heart eyes, [y/n].” He paused for half a beat, “but... y’know, I can’t blame him. He keeps talking about how she’s been helping him with his lines, and that she’s so passionate about theatre...”

      You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. From your limited interactions with Christine, she seemed to be a complete sweetheart. No wonder Jeremy liked her.

      “In time, he’ll like you more.” It nudged it’s way in between your thoughts, “as long as you do what I tell you to. I’ve got a plan-”

      Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you busied yourself with your lunch. “Sure, buddy.”

      The stern silence that responded to your tone spoke volumes. But like a knife through butter, Michael’s voice washed away the slight tension you’d begun to feel: “hey, do you still draw?”

      You perked up at the question, turning your full attention back to Michael, answering with a far-too chipper “yes!” You immediately forced yourself to calm down, “yeah, I, uh, I still do. My art’s changed a lot, though,” you kind-of smiled, “I have a, uh, pretty decent following online now. I’m just glad I get to do what I love.”

      Snagging his phone from his pocket, Michael went silent for a moment as he opened up his tumblr app. “There’s this artist that Jeremy and I discovered - they seem really fucking cool, dude, and they seem like someone you’d like-”

      And then you were met with your own artwork, tagged with your online alias, and you had to resist the urge to immediately spill that he’d found you online after you remade your account. You could feel your SQUIP’s fingers gripping your shoulder, and you bit your tongue as you nodded, giving some half-hearted answer about how they seem cool, sure, before wondering why it had stopped you from saying anything.

      You didn’t address it until later. Halfway through your homework, you looked up and pushed yourself away from your desk. “Hey.” You spoke aloud. 

      Within seconds, your SQUIP proceeded to materialize in front of you. “You’re speaking aloud-”

      “I know,” you said with a hand wave, “my parents are still out. What was up with that earlier?”

      “You shouldn’t go around saying things-”

      “But it’s Michael,” you refuted, “I trust him. Besides - wouldn’t telling him that get me closer to Jeremy?”

      It’s cold gaze made you shrink under pressure. “I have a plan. [y/n]. If you want to get Jeremy, you have to obey.”

      “What about what I want?” You forced yourself to stand your ground, staring at the figure before you, “what if I want to do things differently?”

      “You bought me for a reason.” It crossed its arms, watching you, “this is what you want, though. That’s why I’m here: to help you get what you want. And what you want is Jeremy. I’m going to help you get Jeremy, but I can’t do that if you don’t trust me, [y/n].”

      Pressing your lips together, you mustered up a weak nod. Right. “Sorry,” you finally said, “I just - I’m scared it’s not going to work.”

       “It will.” 

        When Michael invited you over the next day, you were more than happy to take him up on the offer. He began to reason it as well, Jeremy’s at play practice, before he ended up dropping the facade and admitting he still kind-of missed you and that it’d been a while since he’d kicked your ass at video games (and, fuck, the glimmer in his eyes when he said that was enough to make you agree, and you realized in that moment just how much you actually missed Michael). So he drove you to his house, letting you take complete control of the music, and then he left you in the basement to find any games you’d be interested in while he grabbed some snacks from the kitchen.

       While the two of you played, you talked idly when the situation would allow it. About anything. About everything. About trips Michael had taken with his moms, about his and Jeremy’s brand new Halloween tradition of watching horror movies - usually the shittier ones - and gorging on candy, about how your parents always seemed so busy (and almost immediately Michael offered up his house for whenever you didn’t want to be alone, and you melted a little at the offer). The entire time, the room felt too quiet, even among the conversation and the music of each game. At first, you thought it was because Jeremy was missing. Things didn’t feel right without him. But it hit you, right as you were laughing at something Michael said.

       “Hey!” Michael brightened up at his idea, “you should join us.” When you looked over, slightly confused, he continued, “the, uh, Halloween thing? You should join our marathon.” 

       You faltered for a moment, looking down at your controller. Your voice isn’t your own as you speak, saying some sort of confirmation that felt too distant for it to be you. The guilt built within you, as you pushed yourself to hide the feeling while turning your attention back to the game, back to beating Michael this round. But the thought lingered.

       You were using Michael Mell.

[thelostphilosopherblog]

I just need to vent somewhere and this place seems to do the trick. I just feel so fucking weird today. I’ve been trying to work out but the girl i work out with is weirdly competitive and doesn’t understand like, the differences in our physical ability. like, she keeps commenting on how weird it is that I can’t do a push up, even though our max length for planks is the same and I can do pole holds and stuff. and its like, I’ve never really been in good shape, ive always just been one of those really naturally skinny type of girls who don’t have much stamina or strength and im really trying to change that now but its just so hard because I don’t have anyone thats in the same sort of starting place as me. Also I feel so fucking stressed and depressed all the time. I keep looking for something to do. I’m too fucking tired to work out right now, and i’ve already studied for class and I keep telling myself I need to watch full metal alchemist or read clash of kings because theyve been on my list forever and i need to keep being productive and I just fucking cant. I don;t even want to do anything. normally I just rewatch the same old youtube videos over and over but i dont want to do that either

I feel a lot of pressure to succeed right now. I work a dead end job and i;m in school for something better but I already got a creative degree and i would like to show everyone that it wasn’t for nothing. i wish I could say I would love to start a business but I think Id  rather eat dirt. thats the same way I felt about this degree thou, and here i am. i want to feel like I didn’t just waste a ton of time and money on my art degree, and show everyone that I have what it takes to be successful. but I would rather just fucking sleep in to be honest. my only motivation is just so that people will beleive im successful. sometimes i think about just making it up, like, just saying i have a photography business and that i’m making money off of it so that I can post about it and get the feedback and pretend like its real, but the people I actually want to impress would know the truth, so that wouldn’t work anyways. I want to prove I can be more. I always feel like I could be more productive.I even feel the need to be productive with my relaxation time by consuming media I would rather not so that i can participate in the discussion surrounding it with others. I feel like my life is not my own and that success is soley driven on the basis of impressing other people. I make myself feel guilty for relaxing in a way that doesn’t benefit me. i hate it. 

[dreammutual-remade]

idol!you and lucas

request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon

word count: 2.6k 

a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !!  I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily

warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((

what’s up butter cup

let’s dive tf in

as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby

alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies

tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???

all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen

we stan

anyways

you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE

FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS

(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)

also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)

on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them

eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys

they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”

(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)

and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease

okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one

the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie

“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”

“hYUNG PLEASE”

“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”

and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way

okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut

and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot

you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members

but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas

you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other

you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety

and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude

they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD

LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions

alright so you debut like, days before him no lie

you’re a solo artist bc idk

red velvet was full 😔🤟

anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?

and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?

like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath

you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo

on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR

no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g

but like the inside of SM ? is very cold

if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs

because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not

luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao

anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

the filming is almost done thank GOD

you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧

your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??

literally throws it like you made an oof noise

“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”

“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”

you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself

“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“

and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you

you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting

he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby

you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!

there’s excitement all over the place

he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((

you still got a crush on him /sigh/

one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol

you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook

him because ?? was that fLIRTING

you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING

also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry

big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores

you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming

okay TIME SKIP

your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK

you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song

you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack

what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::

what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited

what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS

NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS

FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ

so you do call the king of debuts

mark lee

and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME

he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES

you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone

u already kno it’s our boy yukhei

he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft

wow i’m , affected writing this shit

“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”

“bUT WHAT IF I-“

“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”

“i know but i am, scared”

“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”

“i mean,,,, yeah”

“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”

“well , yeah”

“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”

“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”

“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”

“okay.. thanks lucas”

“anything for you, angel”

yOU HANG UP SO QUICK

how dare he

you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit

okay long story short you ended the industry dude

all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU

VOCAL QUEEN

DANCE QUEEN

lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel

but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever

when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but

you seldom get a second to yourself :(((

he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(

“good morning i hope u slept well !!”

“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”

“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”

this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean

he’s cute

he’s BIG and WARM

very sweet to you :(

talented and lovely

absolute dweeb

supportive of you even from great distances

BEST BOY UWU

you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH

“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”

“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”

“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“

when things calm down though you,, see each other

he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of

as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways

you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall

you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates

he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(

the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((

he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs

pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep

you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out

he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME

ABORT MISSION DUDE

and that’s pretty much it :(

months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best

and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members

you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain

he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there

and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport

(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)

he still calls you angel all the time :((((

god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS

but it has specifically changed to “my angel”

uwu

your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life

you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??

she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad

immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today

there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad

you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together

you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat

originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up

our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!

he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap

he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong

“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”

“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“

“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”

you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible

he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so

we stayin close

you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings

your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better

you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting

once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him

“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“

he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips

he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin

“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”

[survivor-halsingland]

Ep. 1: "There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance." - Amy

Amy

Initial reaction of cast reveal: I’m toast But for real this can go a couple of ways for me, none of which have me seeing myself make merge lol. I’m either going to be a very early boot here or be nice and active enough to solidify a place for a while. Lots of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Hopefully the people familiar with me won’t want to immediately vote me out. I have already mentioned to Derrick that I played with DeNara before, so hopefully we can bond over that and it not be used against me. I have explicitly asked Jared to not exclusively lie to me this go haha but we both said we were more playing for the other half of our duos and just agreed to do it. I was excited to see Blue on my tribe and I also know Leanne, and have already had a good chat with Klied - but his name does have “lie” in it 👀. Honestly I want to do a quick portion of divide and conquer, I planned on chilling in a pool tomorrow and going to drag bingo with Ava. But no one has solidly chosen anything so they are really about to force me to be tribe leader and sort this out. Things I look forward to: vibes, chatting with cool people, meeting people, twists, and drama Things I will not be doing: sitting on hours and hours of video calls. Not my style. But I know several people in this game love it. Let the good times roll y’all

Kenneth

HERE WE GO AGAIN! i'm fresh off of ingary, but jay has magic powers and pulled me in to another season of a potential clown fiesta <3 but seriously, this already seems a lot more enticing and spicy because of the theme in itself and how the challenges and idol hunt are structured so i am very excited to play :) i learned a lot about my last game and i will improve on it (hopefully) by taking more risks and plays that WILL be appreciated by the jury, and not be overly attached to people, which would result to tunnel vision. the first challenges are already pretty great, and i cannot wait to play this game. TO WIN! hehe >:)destiny i’m super confused about a lot of stuff tbh but everyone on my tribe is so nice and welcoming and i’m sure i’ll get the hang of it all soon :) i’m excited to be playing and just hoping i don’t screw things up for my tribe :/

AmyThis tribe is exhausting. Challenges where I need to send a photo back quickly really hate me. My phone took like a minute to actually send the photo, but Waldo went well. Except I started in the bottom right looking with vertical transects and Waldo was hiding in the bottom left 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Woulda been 30 seconds had I started over there. But I’m already expecting tribal so I’m just hoping I wasn’t the worst portion of our challenges haha!

Leanne

Not very much to share so far. Some people on this tribe are much bigger talkers than others, Jared, Derrick, Klied, and Amy. It’s been harder to get Convo from Jesse and Blue, and I’ve barely heard from Josh or Aubree. I wonder if other people have had the same experience. Haven’t dared try game talk with anyone yet. Hoping I’m not behind, but it’s only day 2 right? Maybe I’ll try to put some feelers out with Amy. Maybe I’ll tell her about some things in the idol hunt and see if she’ll give me anything in return, maybe try to get a partnership going. I’m glad she’s on my tribe, but also a little bit scared because I’ve seen exactly how good she is. Aside from that, the person I feel best about right now is Derrick. We’ve had some good chats and seem to connect well. Hope he feels the same way. And Moth. I’m especially nervous about them. When we played before we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I think we’re both… trying. I hope we can have a new start this time, a new story. And from what I know of them they are a very loyal allies so, here’s hoping. Also happy to see Sarah here, and my yinzer JG. Maybe he and my dad can bond over that? And that’s all I’ve got so far. God I hope I did enough in the challenge today. *whines* I don’t wanna go to tribal first!

Jared

Don't mind me making a confessional before the game even starts, call me a game changer. https://youtu.be/JFOxzamkcH8

Jared

Not one, but two, confessionals before the game even begins. Sorry not sorry! https://youtu.be/SETx-0LoI9E

Shawn

Well, things are going good so far! I think anyway. Although I like everyone on my team, I do have to say it's odd playing with someone whose older than my father is, Frank. Usually I like to take charge in games like this, I like to be the leader. Yet, with Frank, it's difficult because he's so much older, I feel like I'm a little kid around him. I don't wanna tell him what to do, because I don't wanna be disrespectful? I'm so excited so far though, absolutely loving the challenge and how we get to pick! Im not that bright so I'm happy I can do creative stuff.

Aubree

This is my first BvW confession! Idk about the other tribe, but the Mysa Tribe is super chill. Most of the conversations yesterday consisted of everyone saying hi and that they were busy and would be active later. Day 2 and the activity level is still the same, which is kind of a relief since I am much more of an introvert. I have been trying to be the first to reach out to people since I feel that is something I have struggled with in past ORGs I’ve played in. I’m usually the reserved/silently-strategic player, but I’m going to try and be more proactive for this game. Ive talked to Klied, Jared, Amy and Leanne a decent amount and have enjoyed our conversations. I know of Amy due to the games she has played with Sarah, so I am hoping that works in my favor. Amy did say that Sarah voted her out in the first game they played in, so that could work one of two ways for my game… like if it came down to a vote between me or Sarah later on?? but maybe it is too soon to think that far ahead? Lol Even though I’m an Art Teacher I chose to steer away from the Creative part to our first challenge. Tbh I’m so burnt out irl when it comes to being creative due to my job, so I’m okay with taking a step back from the creative challenges for now. I’ve enjoyed being a part of the Scavenger Hunt, even though it was a bit harder than expected. I was so stoked to have a Starry Night print, but since it wasn’t real it didn’t count… Like who the heck has a REAL VAN GOGH?? (Or quick access to one) LOL As much as I would LOVEEE to have an original painting, that teacher salary-bracket doesn’t allow for that!! Lol I haven’t had anyone directly ask to me to be in an alliance with them… so that is - interesting? I’m used to the last two games I played where it felt like everything was very paced. Now, It’s either A) everyone is just chillin’ and not wanting to rush things or B) bonds HAVE already started to form but I’m not a part of them? I guess things will spend up more after the first challenge is over and we see where our strengths and weaknesses are in the tribe. Until then! - Aubree

Moth

Hi!! I’m back again and playing with someone I know. I actually happen to be on call with Destiny as I type this but like- were vibing And also once again I’m starting off on the wrong foot, not at home when the game starts.

Moth

I don’t trust Jared Straight up And I feel like that’s fair- Twice I’ve been voted out for my connections to Kyoshi island and it’s really fucking frustrating- Jared apologized and sounded sincere but idk I trust people too easily.. Brayden, Denara, and Leanne are also all in this game All people I’ve played with Leanne I don’t trust right off the bat. I tried that before but like- that didn’t work for me. I just want to at least make it to the merge

Frank

Having fun, learning as I get going. Truly impressed by the comraderi among people whom I've never met. Old dogs, new tricks, this is cool.

Klied

The game is going pretty well so far! Everyone has been really nice and supportive of one another. I hope this tribe dynamic continues for the next rounds of the game! :>

Moth

I fucked it up I genuinely feel really bad because everyone’s so confident in me- And I’m totally going to be a target now

Moth

Ohhhhh thank god Thank god because I was absolutely going to be on the chopping block if we lost I don’t want to be first out That being said

I don’t want Destiny to be first out either

Shawn

I'm not very happy tonight with how things went. I truly believe the other team deserved the win, the video was creative and a lot of effort was put into it! I think it was a great thing. But I disappointed that we lost so many of the challenges. I'm also getting annoyed that people are being present on the chat. I feel like it's me and another tribe member that is putting in all the work. Not impressed, but whatever. I just really hope I don't get voted off tomorrow.

Kenneth

welp i bombed the where's waldo challenge and my team lost by a hair in the riddles challenge because of an advantage so rip. i really hope i don't get voted off first because i severely underperformed in the challenge akjdnsajkndkjsnd i'd be really disappointed in myself :/

Amy

Shocked. Absolutely shocked we aren't headed to tribal lol. And here I thought my 4 minutes on Waldo was too slow but it was enough. Honestly we are lucky Blue's quit disadvantage was only what it was bc they quit after 30 minutes apparently. All these advantages at play! And I'm sitting here with a disadvantage. I think I'm clearly doing the idol hunt wrong 😆 all I have is a disadvantage from poison feast food and a chipmunk named Wadsworth in my pocket. Based on how little anyone is speaking I was certain we'd be going to tribal hands down no question. So I am very, very happy we avoided it in the end. I think it would have been between Jessie and Josh though bc they aren't active. I would have voted Jessie bc Josh did the video even after saying he didn't actually want to do the creative part so that's major props to him in my book! I am very curious as to who the other tribe is going to vote off in the end. I hope it's no one I want to make it far. Oh basically I know I'm probably not making merge so I'm trying to align things to get certain people farther and get other people out. I'm rooting for a newbie to take it. Anyway woo day off and I won't be first boot. Fingers crossed it's not Ava. I wouldn't be surprised if she was targeted for her association with me. Love this game! Love this cast! Love the idol hunt! The reward challenge was the most fun bc Ava and I were incredibly intoxicated after Drag Bingo and we did better each time! The last one we went "office" and "turnip" and literally bust out laughing and both said "Nate". I would like to personally apologize to Ellie for having to witness that nonsense. Thank you to everyone! Oh one last thing. I did not want to work with jared at all but it looks like I am going to be forced to do so. I think I have to put trust in Jared and in Leanne who has voted me out of two games prior 😆 but that's me always just bonding most with the people who are active and want to talk to me.

Amy

There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance.

Aubree

Who won the first challenge?? MYSA DID! Woot woot! Even though Jared, Jessie and I didn’t win the Scavenger Hunt portion after the advantages were added in - we did win as far as how many total objects were found, so I’m pretty proud about that! To top it off Sarah and I won the Reward Challenge!!!! We both get 3 stat points to add to our Idol Hunt… which I have yet to do… I should probably do that tomorrow O_o

Avat

hings are going well i think!!! i've had a lot of fun and i sorta vibe with everyone so far on the tribe. i'm really hyped and fingers crossed we do well. i've been sorta inactive with my challenge bc of work but i'm doing what i can for now. more to come soon

DeNara

Well this is my first confessional of the game and oh my is this going to be an interesting game. Initial impressions of my tribe...... Sarah +Jodi- frenemies because they are so good at survivor Frank- I really like him. He seems like a cool dude Kenneth- Seems cool, I may want to work with him, but he seems to be playing harder than he should so early Brayden- Didn't get the best first impression, but that could change Shawn- Super quiet, then they started chatting so that helped Ava, J.G., Destiny- Really inactive so I don't really know- potential first vote I want to work with Sarah, Frank and maybe Kenneth. Jodi would be good to work with although who knows what she is thinking. Everyone else I will stay open to working with, but really don't care too much as of yet.

DeNara

The first challenge was weird because everyone just took their roles and stopped talking. I HATE QUIET. Period. The creative challenge on my tribe wasn't super creative imo, but they tried. I didn't help in the scavenger hunt as much as I wanted too so that sucks, but at least we won that part so that looks good. I am so excited for this idol hunt! It is amazing! Props to the hosts! WE LOST, DAMMIT. At least Derrick won't be the first boot. I hope I am not either or HE WILL NOT STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL DIE.

DeNara

Well it is chaos now. Shawn has made an alliance with Sarah, Kenneth, and myself. I like the safety of that. Jodi, Sarah and myself also made a Subrosa alliance (we all knew that would happen) and I feel like this will keep me safe for a while at least. Both Sarah and Jodi want to work with Brayden and potentially Kenneth so we may make an alliance of 5 with them- but that also means Sarah and I would have to talk to Kenneth about not telling Jodi about the other alliance and that could be very risky early on.... hmmm idk about that. Also, Frank is my dude. I hope he stays. I think I am going to lean towards J.G. or Destiny.

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQ

Kenneth

I am now in 2 alliances: one with denara, sarah, and shawn, and another one with ava and brayden! i feel good about both alliances, with the first one feeling solid and loyal (for now), and the second one for the long term! i feel very solid about sarah and denara, i feel like i can last long with them as my good allies. jodi's a tricky one, because i know she's a damn good player, but it's better to keep her on my side for now until an opportune time to make a move (and i actually really like talking to her!).

Jared

me: i'm gonna try to make this concise also me: 8 minutes on the very first episode where i'm not even going to tribal oh boy

Brayden

https://youtu.be/reALs2hizjk hey everyone I'm here

DeNara

So now I am in a bunch of alliances. I guided Kenneth to make an alliance chat with Sarah and me to tell us to keep our alliances with 1. Shawn and 2. Brayden and Jodi a secret. Insert evil laugh here lol. So all together right now I should have Sarah, Jodi, Kenneth, Brayden, Shawn and Frank backing me, so I shouldn't be first boot. It sounds like we are going for Destiny because they aren't very active, which was the name Kenneth threw out first so he is getting what he wants without upsetting me.

Ava

so so so bummed about going to tribal i thought we had it in the bag especially with our advantages but alas... i formed an alliance with brayden and kenneth which i'm super obsessed with i really like both of them - hopefully this means safety for tomorrow. i hate working two jobs and the week after next ill be working just one which is just so fucking sweet fingers crossed i can make it that long in this game. anyway that's all for now

Jodi

I'm so happy to be back. This time, I promise to play a chill Jodi game as I said in my intro, and I want to relax and enjoy this twist of a season. Jared and I are thrilled to play our second season together in the actual format of BvW, and we will be playing our own games. So far, I'm glad to have Denara, Sarah, Brayden on my tribe, as we all know each other but never played before (except Brayden). I want to keep an open mind and play fluidly. Kenneth told Brayden within 10 mins of the game starting that he was scared of me, but I hope I can gain the trust of people and not play as flashy as people remember me for. Looking forward to the connections I make!

Jodi

I promised y'all a chill Jodi game and here i am, delivering it. I think. DeNara and Sarah immediately made the "The Best of SubRosa" chat because obviously that was bound to happen, but additionally, the 3 of us are in an alliance with Brayden and Kenneth called "the clock" (because of our time zones ahahahaha). This game's dynamic is so different because even though we hate going to tribal, it also means that our loved ones are safe from tribal, which sometimes, could be better. I hope Jared is doing good on the other side. Obviously I trust Sarah and DeNara but I also know Sarah will cut my throat when it needs to happen, even if she gonna be crying while doing it, so I'll just...not be blinded by that. I trust Brayden 100%, Kenneth calling me scary is not great but I guess he rather be with me than against me, for now. Y'all Ingary kids what did you say about me??? LMAOO ♥️ I did ask him why he didn't cause ruckus at 5 and whip out the superidol and he said "tunnel vision". Hey that's two of us I guess!

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQJessie So I’m still working on making like connections and stuff but we won the first challenge so no tribal which is a very good thing . ❤️ I’m enjoying this interactive scavenger hunt and I’m totally not trying to pull a Danni from Midsommar lol.

Brayden

hey guys im in a 5 person alliance rn with jodi sarah denara and kenneth and i feel pretty good and excited bc i think ill win this whole game but sadly destiny is prob leaving tonight <\3

Derrick

First challenge done. We rocked it! I don't really have any sort of alliance at this point but I seem to be getting along with everyone. Josh didn't seem to put too much effort into our creative set up but it still worked out OK. It was unfortunate I was on my trip at the time as I could have done so much more with. I think as long as we support eachother we can rock every challenge that comes our way!joshIM SOO HAPPY WE WON! our tribe seems to be like friendly but i havent made any alliances i think so idk if im in a good spot if we lose a challenge but we didnt this time so🙃ShawnEveryone in the tribe is messaging about Destiny, and that is who everyone is thinking of voting off. I'm still thinking of voting Frank off, and I think that's who I'm going for. He's not good at technology, and this whole game is about technology! We lost the creative challenge because all we could do with him was write! Still, everyone thinks because Destiny isn't very active she should be the one to go. I'm not sure what I want to do. JGOh hey! Here we are round one. I feel so out of it playing this game. For the first time in a while, I barely know any of the other players. Which is refreshing and tough. I also feel like my social game is kind of lacking but that is kind of my brand for round 1. I have had some great one on one conversations with DeNara, Jodi, and Sarah. I've talked to Brayden and Kenneth as well a little bit less than the first three. Shawn and Ava, barely. Frank and Destiny not at all. The vote should be Destiny since we sadly lost. Which works for me. I feel the closest with DeNara and Sarah. Really hoping I can start to get my footing. If we were to lose again, Frank would probably go but I don't wanna put myself in the line of fire again. Well here's hoping things improve. Hopefully, I'm not blindsided. Here we go.blueMy tribe seems pretty cool so far, everyone is nice and seems pretty active so thats nice. Shawns going to tribal so I hope theyre gonna be safe :(((DeNara As far as I know, the vote is going to be Destiny. I feel bad for them for not getting the chance to play, and I feel really bad for Moth, they always have the worst luck in ORGs. That being said I sure hope nothing crazy happens tonight or I will cry 100% Tribal, here I come...AubreeThere is hardly any game talk (at least from where I’m standing), so I may start trying to get a feel of where people are at by asking some game-related questions in the tribe chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the personal chit-chats… BUT I’m also feeling a bit empty-handed as far as knowing everyone’s game motives. Maybe I’m being too bold… idk. I’m not normally the one to standout in ORGs, so hopefully my tribe doesn’t take this as me prying… even though I guess I kinda am?? 😬 “Oof look at me being all dangerous and shit!” 😤🤘🏼😂blueSO here are more detailed thoughts on my tribe. Amy of course is a queen and a legend and we've played together before and have a good rapport. Leanne is so kind and so funny, and I would be super down for working with her. Jared is SO nice I get really good vibes and really enjoy talking to him. Aubree is also very nice and seems genuinely interested in my irrelevant stories 10/10 good vibes. Moth is dope as expected and turns out we have a lot of the same interests ie. witcher and the mcelroys very fun. The rest are yet to be determined.AmyI would like to start out by saying that Brayden's video during their tribal almost made me seasick thanks buddy. So today was a DAY. It was a day off and like I had a weird day at work lol 😆 and then I remembered there was the task of talking to people who h i slacked on today whoops sorry. But for half these people idk if they even noticed bc my tribe is so quiet. Did I already say I tried asking Jessie what their favorite berry was? Like that's how exhausting conversation has been most all around. I think I'm talking to Leanne, Derrick, and Jared the most. I am begging for bygones to be bygones. But anyway I was trying to do a little of the hunt throughout the day bc after seeing

all those advantages last go I was SHOCKED. Then at the end of work I made it to thevpart where I was talking to the grumpy sad flower crown man and after falling on my weak ass on a ladder I picked the lock with a bobbypin and charisma's him to make me a flower crown which got me to the maypole which had me do a scavenger hunt and I got an idol. Writing this all out is absolutely hilarious. But yeah I have an idolllllllllllllllllllll which I don't want to use anytime soon. But I have a feeling I'm going to struggle to make merge. Anyway I got this idol like directly after the other tribe finishing tribal and I love a funny timing like that. I'm glad Ava survived weee! And wow they have some very vocal tribe members haha I'm sure Denara and Jodi are working together which tracks bc I've been closest to both of them individually in prior games early on. Curious if it will stick. So next was rock paper scissors for which I have a 10% disadvantage which apparently applies to the overall tribe score ☠️ . I won my game against Brayden who was at seemingly a raging Big Brother watch party. Sorry buddy. But we've been chatting like he asked how josh was and I said Josh is great and really stepped up to the plate for the creative challenge even though it wasn't what he wanted and also he loves tom holland so I instantly trust him. Then he said everyone likes ava bc she's just so cool and yes I get it I am personally intimidated by how cool Ava is and I have to be around that cool level every day honestly I don't know why she talks to me but she's a badass. Anyyywayyyy he doesn't seem keen on actually talking game and I need to figure out if I need to just tell my tribe I have a disadvantage rn or be like what the fuck the other tribe is so mean to give me a disadvantage 😭 Anyway excited to explore the hunt some more and this game is so fun. If we go to tribal I think Jessie is most at risk tbh. Okay that's all bye ❤️

[y3pro-develoment]

Animation Plan

As you've seen previously on my blogs, I've been aiming to incorporate animations into my website showcase my creativity as well as convey emotions as a designer. I feel its essential for professional websites to show some sort of empathy, it makes viewers feel more comfortable and is more likely to persuade them to build a connection with you and your business. 

I’ve just spoken to Vincent (my tutor) to confirm that I can outsource for the illustration of my character and some of my iconography. This is allowed as its for my professional online profile and if you need every aspect to be perfect you'll need to outsource, i’m a perfectionist so that's extremely relevant in my case. Luckily my sister is an illustrator and is willing to give me a hand in return for my web design and animation for her work which I think is a pretty great deal. 

Her design account is - https://www.instagram.com/skellandraws/?hl=en

Below I've attached my animation plan, its sketched out in my note pad, sorry for the poor quality. The main gist of my idea is to animate me and some symbols which relate to the section the animation is for; Work life, personal life, contact and menu. The main animation which will welcome people onto the page will be a giant collection me and all the various icons used in my other animations.

Animation Style

In regards to animation style, I want to keep it simplistic, a simple floating character and simple icon movements. I’ve added some links to styles which I like. Super hero character animations seem to be my style haha.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BW_j0CKFPbr/?igshid=1l8bcdr84iivy

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzqQbh0D_2F/?igshid=12i58efqsoo2w

How I'm going to animate for web

I’ve spent hours doing my research, ill include the links i’ve used below, the plan is to convert Adobe Illustrator designs into Shapes in Adobe after effects. I will them animate these shapes how I desire, for the character i’m going to rig his arms and legs so I can animate him. For this I need a software called Duik Bassel which is industry standard for character rigging. Luckily free too. 

As I've learnt through my testing already, Lottie files do not support any effects or expressions and they don't support complex transitions either. So once ive created the animation im going to ‘Bake’ the layers using a script. I will need to download this also. By ‘Baking’ it, I will be converting movements into individual keyframes every second.

I will then be able to export this into a .Json and place in Webflow where I can then further animate these using page scrolls interactions or hover interactions.

Software/Add ons needed:

Duik Bassel - Character Rigging

https://rainboxlab.org/download-duik-bassel/

Baked Parented Transform - Baking

 https://aescripts.com/bake-parented-transform/

Web Links:

https://lottiefiles.com/course/a-beginners-guide-to-lottie/06-advanced-animating

https://lottiefiles.com/course/a-beginners-guide-to-lottie/bonus-basic-character-animation

https://university.webflow.com/courses/interactions-and-animations-course#

https://university.webflow.com/courses/interactions-and-animations-course?video=rz1f3j2sar

[heshometome]

Distance means nothing when you’re in love

PAIRING: Taegi 

LENGTH: 1.7k

PROMPT(From anon): Do you think you could write a sort of angst with a happy ending Taegi where one has to move far away for a while and they try to maintain their relationship despite the distance.

Read it on AO3

A/N: This took me like 3 hours to write, its the longest piece of writing ive ever done omg im dead but im also really proud of it?! I hope you guys enjoy this! Please leave feedback, and also request something if youd like <3 

~

“We need to talk”

Those words sent Taehyungs mind into a frenzy. He looked up from his game, to see yoongi standing in front of him, looking like he was about to cry. “What’s wrong?” Taehyung says, confusion laced in his tone.

“You know how I was telling you about the job my dad was offered?” Yoongis voice cracks and it breaks Taehyung heart.

“You mean the one in America?”

“Yeah, he accepted it today. We’re moving.” That’s when yoongi snaps. He falls to the ground, tears cascading down his face. For a minute taehyung does nothing, he sits there in complete shock, but then regains his senses and crouches down to comfort his boyfriend. “Yoongi, don’t worry we will be fine I promise, we can make it work okay? We can.” Taehyung doesn’t know if it was really Yoongi he was convincing.

                                                              ~

It’s been 2 months since Yoongi moved, and Taehyung feels lonelier than ever. You see, he isn’t a very social person, Yoongi was really the only person he was comfortable around. He wishes that Yoongi didn’t have to move away, its slowly tearing them apart even though they refused to admit it. Taehyung jumps as his phone vibrates in his pocket,

[7:42 PM] Gigi <3: Tae, I’m sorry I haven’t had time to talk, school is killing me. I miss you, only 10 more months and I’ll be back

[7:43 PM] Tae <3: It’s okay, schools been killing me too. Have you been eating well? Sleeping? I’m counting down the days until you get back

[7:52 PM] Gigi <3: Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Do you want to video chat with me? I finally have some free time

[7:52 PM] Tae <3: of course! I’ll call you in 5 <3

They talk for an hour before Yoongi had to leave suddenly. He seemed a bit off to taehyung, but it could just be his mind making things up. They were fine, they would be okay until January, yoongi wouldn’t leave him, right?

                                                             ~

It’s been 6 months. Phone calls and video calls barely happened anymore, and if they did it was rushed small talk before yoongi had to leave after ten minutes. Taehyung was thinking the worst, that yoongi didn’t have time for him, for their relationship. Does he even love me anymore? In all honesty, it was taking a toll on taehyung, his appearance dull, no longer bright like it used to be. Everything that was once simple to do was now a chore, including getting up in the morning. This isn’t healthy taehyung thought to himself, he needed to end it before he got worse.

[12:26 PM] Tae <3: Yoongi, do you have time to talk?

[12:32 PM] Gigi <3: Yeah, what’s up tae?

[12:33 PM] Tae <3: I’m going to call you, it’ll be easier to talk.

“Hello?” yoongi says, nervously.

“Hey how are you? We haven’t talked in a while.” Taehyung is trying to stall the inevitable, but the shakiness in his voice is still obvious.

“I’m good, and I have some amazing news. I was going to wait to tell you, but I’m coming back for a week, I’ve missed you so much tae.” Taehyung was speechless. He’s coming back?

“W-when?” He stutters, still shocked by the news, original meaning for the phone call long forgotten.

“2 weeks and I’ll be landing back in Korea” Taehyung can hear yoongis excitement through the phone, making himself excited too.

“I’ll be counting down the days, I’ve missed you so much Yoongi” His eyes are welling up with tears, his emotions are all over the place.

“I’m sorry I have to go, I love you”

“I lov-“ Before taehyung had the chance to reply, he was cut off with the call ending. He’s coming back.

                                                             ~

It’s 2 days before Yoongi is coming back, and Taehyung can’t contain his excitement. He is quite literally bouncing off the walls, a smile permanently etched onto his face. People at school look at him funny, but he doesn’t care, all he cares about is the fact that yoongi is coming back. Taehyung marches to his classes, head held high when he gets a phone call.

“Yoongi? Why are you calling? Isn’t it night over there?” Taehyung questions, his smile turning into a frown.

“I got the dates mixed up for the trip. Turn around.” He can hear yoongis smirk through the phone, and taehyung is confused. Is he back already? His question is answered as he turns around, only to see his one and only before him.

“OH MY GOD YOURE ACTUALLY HERE!” Taehyung yells, running towards yoongi, not caring about all the stares and people whispering about him. He jumps into yoongis arms and hugs him tightly for what feels like hours, inhaling the scent of pine he missed so much.

“I missed you, I thought I’d surprise you.” yoongi whispers to him, not wanting to let taehyung go.

“This is one hell of a surprise.” his voice is cracking, the realisation that yoongi is here finally sinking in.

“Let’s go home?” taehyung asks, yoongi nods in reply. They walk hand in hand all the way to taehyungs house, continuously talking along the way.

“I met this really cool guy, his name is Hoseok, he is a dance major and let me tell you- he is amazing at it, oh! And there’s another guy named Namjoon who is top of the class. I thought he was going to be a stuck-up asshole since he’s so smart, but it turns out he’s just a big softie.” Yoongi continues his rambling about all the new people he’s met so far, and taehyung listens intently, hanging onto every word his boyfriend says.

“Should we make some food?” Taehyung asks during a pause in Yoongis talking.

“Yes please, I’m so hungry. The plane had terrible food I could hardly eat it.” Yoongi follows taehyung into the kitchen, where they start to prepare the meal together. The cooking took twice as long as it needed to, since most of the time they were making out against the counter. But at least it got done, right?

The two boys ended up entangled on the couch, laughing with each other and talking until the sun came up. Taehyung was happy, why did he even think about ending this?

The rest of the week consisted of spending every waking moment together. Taehyung wouldn’t have it any other way, but as the week was coming to an end, his thoughts were going out of control. As soon as he leaves he won’t talk to you. It’ll be just like it was before. He has no time for you. “Tae? What’s wrong?” Yoongi wipes the tears from his face. I’m crying?

“I don’t want it to be how it was. I want us to work when you’re gone. I can’t do this if you’re not going to talk to me yoongi” Taehyung spills his thoughts, making the tears flow faster. “I understand the time difference is hard, but could you put a little more effort in? It just felt like you had no time for me and I was having doubts about us and I ju- “

“Woah wait slow down tae” Yoongi interrupts taehyungs rambling, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry you felt like that, I’ll make time for you because you are one of the most important people in my life. I don’t want distance to come between us, so I will try my hardest to be there, okay?” Taehyungs breathing evens out as he calms down, he nods into yoongis chest.

                                                            ~

It’s been a month since the visit, and yoongi really is trying, taehyung notices it. Random texts are popping up on his phone about the little things yoongi is doing during his day, and it creates a warm feeling in taehyungs chest. He is happy that yoongi is making the effort that he originally wanted. Its relieving to know yoongi is thinking about him. Their phone calls are still scarce, but when they do happen they last for hours on end.

                                                            ~

There’s only a day left until yoongi comes home for good, and taehyung is once again bouncing off the walls from excitement. Now that yoongi has finished his studies, his father is going to let him come home to pursue his career, and both the boys couldn’t be happier. Taehyung gets barely any sleep that night, to busy thinking about how he can finally see his boyfriend in person.

                                                           ~

It’s the next morning, taehyung only managed to sleep for 2 hours before his alarm woke him up. Quickly taking a shower and putting on his newly bought outfit, he gets in the car to pick yoongi up from the airport.

The flight was delayed, for 3 hours.

It was boring sitting in the airport alone, phone battery declining quickly. Taehyung decided to get up and walk around for a bit, maybe get some coffee since he was nearly falling asleep on the seat. He was constantly watching the board for the flight arrival time, to see if yoongis flight had finally landed, even walking around the airport he was staring at it, which caused him to walk into many people, earning him dirty looks and annoyed comments.

The flight finally landed, and taehyung made his way to the front of the crowd, keeping his eye on the incoming travellers, looking out for the one person that mattered most. There he is, he’s taller than last time. Yoongi looked amazing, and he still hadn’t noticed taehyung, so he decided to run up and surprise yoongi. Barrelling through the crowd and making a complete scene, taehyung rushed up to yoongi and picked him up, twirling him around until the security told taehyung to tone it down.

“You’re finally home.” Taehyung smiled the widest he has since the last time he saw yoongi.

“I’m home, for good. I’ll never leave you for that long ever again, it was torture.” Yoongi smiled at his boyfriend, love displayed all over his features.

“Let’s go, I’m hungry.” Taehyung chuckled at this. But grasped yoongis hand anyway and lead him back to his car with a spring in his step. They are home.

A year may not seem like that long to many, but it’s hard when you’re used to being around that person every day. But if you’re strong, you love each other, and you can trust one another completely,

then you can withstand anything