#im also on muscle relaxers which is surely contributing but like

[stephaniedola]

so i (mostly) cut caffeine in an attempt to reduce my muscle spasms and you wont believe it but they're pretty much gone

[coccyodynia]

things:

i cried so much last night that my eyes were so swollen this morning that they wouldn't open all the way and i was convinced i had pink eye, so i went to the dr and they said no they're just irritated and swollen that's it

i had a follow up appointment with my spine care team this morning and they said they didn't see any obvious reason for the pain i'm having so they're scheduling me a Ct scan to see the hardware from the fusion better bc it's possible the screws are loosening lol

in the meantime they did notice i have a bulging disc above the fusion which might contribute to some of the issues i've been having

they also saw signs of "wear and tear" which i dont like the sound of

so i have to do physical therapy and have another steroid injection or whatever and i'm not happy about either of those things

they did offer to give me a muscle relaxer prescription which i think will help

anyway

i had my annual review at work today and i got a small raise which is cool i guess bc i thought the owners hated me now but w/e

in one month i will be lakeside making s'mores and that might be the only reason i haven't offed myself yet

still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on with justin bc he got pretty overwhelmed when i asked him for clarity and he sort of shut down so for now i'm just taking it a day at a time, idc what ends up happening i just want him in my life somehow either way

ive been working really hard on my mental health stuff, my therapist has even said she can tell i'm taking it more seriously and putting in more effort than usual

im just so tired of feeling bad, and it turns out that sometimes journaling or making crafts (instead of getting drunk and fucked up) is actually fun

still having a hard time feeling really connected to people i love especially when i feel very much 'in distress'

not sure if that's just me or if it's an actual issue

i've taken my meds pretty gosh darn consistently for over a month now tho!!!! that might be the first time in my adult life i can say that

just really making a conscious effort to surround myself with as much of the things and people i love and it's helping

i haven't seen justin since pride and that sort of makes me sad but i'll see him soon probably

ok that's it guess bye

[peachy-inserts]

𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕘𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟/𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜 - 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣, 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝟜

✰warnings: mentions of pregnancy ✎a/n: ok mod josie here and im going to be completely honest.. this is the first actual smut ive ever written and i didnt proof read it because im embarrassed and im not happy with how it turned out PLEASE be gentle with me im very scared also more under the cut

➳ɪᴡᴀɪᴢᴜᴍɪ

══════ ∘◦❁◦∘ ══════

The bedroom is hazy, fuzzy. It’s almost as if it’s clouded your vision, the heat from both of your bodies overwhelming and contributing to the change in atmosphere. Iwaizumi’s hands are finding every part of your body, sliding down slowly to your supple thighs just to give them a quick squeeze and travel back up towards your neck, where he lingers for a moment before deciding tonight isn’t the night, not for choking, at least.

No, tonight he’s going to get you pregnant, and he at least wants it to be special. He’s already prepared for the aftercare, going out of his way to make sure you have to do as little as possible while you fucks you senseless and stuffs you full with his cum time and time again so that there’s no possible chance of not getting it on the first try

You’ve only just gotten home a few moments ago, still fully dressed and yet already a shaking mess beneath him, a devilish glint in his eyes that suits his smirk all too well, satisfied with your wide eyed anticipation that you always seem to reward him with before you’ve even begun. It really gets him going. There are no words, but only an intimacy that leaves you feeling completely overheated and yet as if your whole body is relaxed, even despite knowing that he’ll have you in a mating press before too long; you know from experience it’s worth the aching joints, though. 

He ghosts his fingertips along the curve of your breast under your buttoned shirt, laughing to himself and retreating his touch when you lean into him, begging for him to finally do something, anything.

“Please-”

“Please what?”. He cuts you off, grinning, looking down at you with what could almost be interpreted as malice, but you know him better than that. You know it’s just an act for him, he only does this because you enjoy it so much.

“Aren’t you gonna stop fucking teasing me, Haji?”.

He huffs, thinking to himself for a moment before pressing you backward onto the sheets so you’re lying down, and places soft open mouthed kisses along your jawline all the way down to your collarbones, carefully undoing the first few buttons in doing so. “You’re so impatient, you know that?”, he whispers against your skin, and the hotness of his breath is arousing. He notices the way your heart thumps within your chest against his lips and laughs to himself yet again.

“It’s only been a few moments, and I bet you’re already soaked for me, aren’t you? I bet you were thinking about this all day.. Coming home and letting your man fuck you so good, put his baby right in you…”. Iwaizumi’s hands finally travel back down your body, grazing across your thighs and gently prodding at your clothed cunt, rubbing light circles into your work pants until he can feel them dampening beneath his touch, to which he immediately stops, only to run his thumb over your lips so you part them for him and force his now scented fingers into your mouth while the other hand softly caresses your cheek, tucking stray hairs behind your ear. 

“I knew it. It doesn’t take much for you, does it, baby?”. Hesitantly, you nod, careful not to accidentally bite his fingers in the process, although he’s much gentler in his ministries than usual. With his tapping against your cheek, you know to let his digits go, and a trail of saliva is left running down your chin, and a cold chill runs down your spine despite the heat consuming your body.

Before you know it, he’s discarded your shirt and left you topless save for your bra, although it’s not long before he’s made quick work of it, too, and your torso is completely exposed before him. It’s a little unfair given that he’s still fully dressed, but you know it won’t be long before he gives in and strips down to nothing. A calloused hand circles your nipple until its erect, and he clambers onto the bed to take the bud into his mouth, tongue swirling around it with little kitten licks and biting down on it every few moments just to make you jump, and you’re whining beneath him, it’s so good and yet not enough-

“Don’t be so greedy”. He swats your hand away and releases your breast with a pop when you try removing your pants, only to do it himself in a contradictory fashion. Iwaizumi looks you up and down, his breath hitching and a sudden pang in his chest. You’re going to look so fuckiing good carrying his child, stomach swole out with his seed and breasts heavy with milk, bigger than they had ever been before

He can feel his cock twitch in his pants.

His body moves on its own, and he's situated himself above you with his elbows on either side of you, a knee prodding at your heat and teasingly rubbing against the fabric of your panties, wet in excitement and anticipation. Iwaizumi’s lips find your own in haste and he’s eagerly pulling you closer to him, hand returning to your breast to squeeze and fondle the one he has previously neglected while the other remains pert and slick with his saliva. He’s becoming feverish, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and sucking on it before he pulls away for air, panting, chest heaving, just to dive straight back in with an open mouthed kiss. His tongue is swiping at your red and swollen lips, and when he twists your nipple you moan against him, and he licks the back of your teeth, his wet muscle finding every sweet spot of your mouth and eating it up with delight so you’re whining below him.

“Hajime-”. You’re fucking desperate now, wanting nothing more than for him to fill him up the way he does, so good each and every time, his cock too fat to ever miss those sweet spots inside of you that always having you seeing stars.

“I know, I know sweetheart”. He’s quick to undress, and although your view is obscured by your current position, you’ve come to recognize the sound of his belt thumping against the floor, the metal piece always clinking with the hard wood below.

His rough fingertips are grazing along the sensitive skin of your thighs, and he tugs your panties down slowly, revelling in the string of slick that pulls from it until finally breaking contact and running down to your ass. God, he can’t stand it; you’re always so perfect for him, always getting yourself nice and ready for his dick.

Iwaizumi positions himself just before your entrance, his cock painfully hard. The head is red with blood and throbs against his palm as he strokes the prominent vein that runs along the underside of his girth. He’s trim, well cut and fit, and you find yourself pink in the face as your eyes dart across his trained abs, a happy trail just below down to his well groomed and massive cock. His sensitive slit you’ve always found a way to take advantage of is oozing with precum, and he rubs it against your thighs before using the head to tease your swollen clit. Your hips buck at the touch, abused lips parted as a low whine escapes them.

His fist guides himself along your glistening folds, and a growl resonates in his chest and the slick feeling. He lines his head up with your hole, and you grip his arm in preparation. Slowly, tantalizingly slowly, he pushes into your little cunt, pushing your walls apart and coating him in a sheen of white. He hisses as you clench around him like a vice, nearly losing control and rutting into you at full force.

“Fucking shit, babe, fuck”. Iwaizumi grunts, and he repositions himself so that one hand is gripping the headboard above you while the other keeps you pinned below him. Finally, he bottoms out within you, and begins a slow and shallow pace. Your sweet little moans fuel him and before he knows it he’s thrusting into you at a relentless pace. You hardly have any time to comprehend what’s happening, head bobbing at the force he’s beating into your tight little with a rhythm and high pitched whines your only capable form of speech. 

“H-Haji!”. Your words are slurred, and you bite your tongue as he ruts into you particularly hard. His cock is ripping you apart, your sweet cunt wrapped around his base in a way that’s downright pornographic, your hands wrapped around his neck and nails digging into his back, scratching the skin and drawing blood, but he doesn’t slow down

With every thrust he’s hitting the tip of your cervix, and it hurts but god, it also feels so fucking good. The bed shakes and headboard smacks against the wall, but it’s hardly audible beneath the lewd sound of your his clashing, his balls slapping your skin while your own cum leaks out around him, dripping down his thighs

He grunts, having no words left to speak in losing himself in the feeling of how fucking amazing you feel, walls fluttering around his length and your breasts bouncing with his every move, and he thinks again about how perfect you would be carrying his child. Your pussy is aching, and the sensations are overwhelming. His hips grind against your neglected clit only a few times, and yet it’s enough for you to unravel around him.

You gasp, trying to sputter out a warning, an indication, but he’s pounding into you so fucking hard and the noises of your own juices squelching around him are so prominent that it doesn’t matter anyways. Your pussy flutters around him and your walls clamp around him like a vice, and he hisses at the sudden tightness and grips the board above you so tight his fingernails are marking the soft wood, no different from the way your own leave scratch marks down his back. Your back arches causing your hips to catch against his own, and the friction is unbearable. He only pounds harder, faster, fucking you through your release and chasing his own high, leaving you overstimulating and squirming beneath him. You try to wriggle your way free, but his hands have moved to pin you down.

Just as you’ve finally began to feel the first aftershocks of your orgasm, Iwaizumi tugs you forward by the waist, sheathing himself balls deep with one final thrust, and paints your abused little cunt white with his seed, breathing heavily inches away from your face.

With a languid sigh, your body sinks into the mattress and you finally relax, and after a moment of stillness, he finally pulls out, making sure to keep every last bit inside of you so it doesn’t go to waste. Iwaizumi rolls over onto his back just beside of you, pulling you into his arms and rubbing at the knots in your lower back from the position he’d help you in. You were going to be so good to your kids, so kind and nurturing.

And he couldn’t wait.

[whittakerjodie]

Big Spoon, Little Spoon (Dhawan!Master X Reader)

Prompt:  Can we just get some SOFT Dhawan!Master? - requested by @littlemissslytherinprincess​

A/N: bruh d!master literally looks like the most huggable dude. Sir, I WILL hug you. I will poke and kiss ur cheek. Like.. come ON yall this dude... is out here... lookin like the most huggable mfer of all time. Also, I have a headcanon that he hates when people point this out but also secretly loves the attention. also tell me this is ooc i dare you. the master may be a murder boi but he also soft boi 

Words: 1k roughly 

Warnings: None really, implied smut though. 

   You relaxed back into the sheets, muscles aching from the tension they’d held just moments previously. The Master rolled off of you, trying to catch his breath. You found yourself laughing breathlessly, much to his annoyance. 

“I could’ve sworn you said you didn’t have time for any distractions.” He huffed and got up, disappearing into the bathroom. It was true; he had said that. Roughly an hour ago, when he demanded that you leave him alone while he repaired the TARDIS for the umpteenth time. Of course, he’d said that when you were already sitting in his lap, a position he didn’t protest at all. He was always doing that; pushing you away but tugging you along just as insistently. 

He came back from the bathroom and you helped him clean everything up, gathering your clothes from where they’d landed all over the room in the events leading up to your… dancing. When you were sure you’d contributed enough you jumped back on the bed, pulling the blanket over you. You patted the spot next to you excitedly. 

“Cuddles?” You asked, eyebrows wiggling. He gave another huff. 

“I don’t do that- cuddles” 

“Yes, you do” 

“Since when?!?” You pouted dramatically, patting the spot again. “Fine,” He grumbled. 

You gave an excited “yes!” as he climbed next to you, holding his arms open. Then you were laughing again. “Why are you holding your arms like that?” 

He let them fall down, confused. “So you can… cuddle me, idiot” Uh oh. Clearly, he’d misunderstood somehow. 

“I don’t think so. I’ll be the big spoon this time” 

“The what?” He cried. 

“The big spoon,” You began to explain. “That means I cuddle you, not you cuddle me” 

“Are we not both cuddling?” 

“Well, we are, but you’re cuddling into me. So you’re the little spoon, and I’m the big spoon. Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve never heard that term before.” 

“I’m a timelord.” The Master grumbled grumpily as he turned over on his side. “We shape time and space. We can change reality at the snap of our fingers. Forgive me if I don’t know the rules of cuddling.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his boasting, swelling with pride at the fact that only you could make the dangerous, king-of evil the Master give in to cuddles. As you wrapped your arms around his stomach, you hummed appreciatively at the warmth and soft skin you came into contact with. The Masters personality was razor sharp and paper thin, able to snap in a millisecond. But his outward form was soft and make-your-heart-hurt adorable. It was good for deceit, you supposed, but you only saw it as the best of both worlds. 

“I am not adorable” He hissed over his shoulder. Oh, right, part telepathic. You rolled your eyes and jumped up to place a kiss on his cheek Always so stubborn. He tried to squirm away and you tightened your arms around him, leaving more kisses every time he was still enough. 

“Yes. you. are. “ You insisted between kisses. Finally he pushed your head away, and you frowned as he started to sit up. “Oh come on. You don’t have to be embarrassed or anything. It’s just us in here. You don’t have to be mr. Im-so-serious” 

You pouted your lip again and sucked in a breath, puffing out your chest. For more effect you put you hands on your hips and titled your chin up. the Master raised a brow and gaped incredulously at your ridiculous impersonation, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction.

“Okay but honestly,” You murmured. You took his hands into your own and pushed him back onto the bed lightly, bringing the blankets up over the two of you. “You are adorable. I know you don’t like to hear it, but one should never lie to a friend. Especially not to a lover.” His face briefly contorted into an exasperated scrunch, then settled back into a feigned indifference. Judging by his history, he didn’t hear things like this often, if ever. But it was all true. No matter how hard he tried to hide it and no matter what he did, you knew it would always be true. One just had to dig hard enough to reach this surface of him. 

You cupped his cheek and stroked his skin with your thumb, grateful that he didn’t stop you. His eyes held an unspoken weight, watching you. Feeling a bit of mischief mix with a long-held desire you trailed your finger down his chest to his stomach, which you abruptly poked. He jumped at the contact, not fast enough to stop you from squishing it all together. He grabbed your hands by the wrists and looked down at his stomach. “W-what the hell was that all about?” he demanded to know as your breath escaped you in the form of an obnoxious laugh. You couldn’t stop; you’d actually managed to squish his tummy, of all things you could ever do in your entire lifespan. The look on his face was absolutely hilarious; you couldn’t discern if he wanted to murder you, kiss you, or spend the next 25 minutes contemplating what had just happened. 

“I - I couldn’t help it” You shrieked between gasps of breath. “Oh my god, I did it!” 

For a moment, it seemed like the Master was about to burst into laughter along with you. Then, his hands reached under your thighs and he easily lifted you up, throwing you onto your back. You laughed the whole way down, hands reaching out in vain to tug him down with you. Luckily, however, he voluntarily laid next to you, trying to hide a smile. When your laughing ceased and you could feel sleep creeping back up on you, he pointed his finger in your face with a frown. 

“If you want to cuddle, fine. But you’re never doing that again” 

“What, this?” you asked, arm darting out to poke his tummy again. He dodged it just in time, nearly falling off the bed in the process. 

“Don’t!” he cried. “I’m serious. And for all this ruckus you’ve caused, I think i’ll be the ‘big spoon’” 

You nearly keeled over laughing again with how genuinely stern his tone was. When the Master saw the corners of your lips turn upwards he scoffed and pushed you onto your side, curling up behind you. 

“Go to sleep” he grumbled. You nodded, relaxing into his warm touch. 

“I love you, you know” You whispered as his arm snaked around your waist. His muscles tensed for a moment then relaxed as he released a breath he must’ve been holding. He didn’t respond initially; He didn’t necessarily need to. 

The Master had his own unique, mostly silent ways of showing affection and you were okay with that. If he didn’t want to say those three words just yet, that was okay. You had all the time in the universe. Just as you grew accustomed to the silence and sleep began to welcome you, you could hear him quietly murmur: 

“I love you too”

[yoon-kooks]

Witch Hazel- Pt.4

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: my hope is that the idol industry can one day become a safer place for those who have dedicated their lives to making others happy ❤️

-

“Let me guess, you’re the type who needs to feel needed but also pushes people away?”

“How would you know that, Bunny Boy?”

“It’s my power.”

“You have powers too?” Snow blinks her pretty blue eyes. “Can you read minds?”

“I certainly can’t read minds,” Bunny Boy laughs. “But I am pretty good at reading hearts.”

“Oh yeah? What’s my heart feeling right now?”

“Well for starters, you seem to be annoyed by me prying too deep.”

“You are annoying.”

“And you also think I’m kinda cute.”

“I do not!”

You giggle into your phone screen for the hundredth time as you read through the latest Witch Hazel update. With the reveal of another character with secret powers, you wonder what Snow will make out of him. A friend? An ally? Or perhaps just someone who gets her.

Beneath the last comic panel of Snow rolling her eyes at the unofficially named Bunny Boy, you find cute little comments from the author.

“all i hope is for snow to take care of herself during this hiatus”

“even if it’s only a tiny amount, maybe witch hazel can help supplement as new snow content for now;;;;;;”

“ah i didnt mean to sound as if i were anywhere near snow’s level or anything;;;;;;”

“i just hope she knows she doesnt have to carry any burden all on her own”

“she has people on her side”

Your face doesn’t know whether to smile or shed tears, so you do a combination of both. It’s true, you’ve always felt alone. Always. No matter how many staff members it takes to produce an album or how many fans buy that album, you’ve never once felt that people could look beyond your idol music, your icy eyes, your mask.

But that’s exactly why you’re taking a break. You need to separate your worth from the music attached to your name. You need to prove to yourself that you’re more than what the critics and magazines say. And you’re only realizing it now that you can’t do it alone.

If only you had your own jk.seagull in your life. You’re sure the two of you would mesh well together.

-

“Where is that kid?” Taehyung pats the empty seat next to him before class starts. “He never skips class. I remember one time he literally rejected a date with a super cute girl because he ‘had to get to class’. Can you believe that?”

“Knowing Jungkook, I’d believe it,” you shrug. It does feel oddly empty without his presence, though.

“Oh really? You know all there is to know about the mysterious phenomenon that is Jeon Jungkook? It sounds like you guys got real acquainted on that date the other day.”

“It wasn’t a date, Taehyung. It was a meeting for a group project that you didn’t show up to.”

“Well it all evens out since Jungkook didn't show up today. Who knows, maybe you won’t show up tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason for being absent. Unlike you.” You have to admit, it does worry you a little. Especially after the hints of doubt Jungkook expressed about his own beautiful art. You wish he knew how amazing of an artist he really is.

“What are you talking about? My reason was valid.”

“Having your cock sucked for five hours straight is not a valid reason, by the way.” You roll your eyes. “Let me guess, today you have a threesome scheduled after class and dinner date at 5?”

“Ouch, you don’t have to be so harsh, Y/N.” Taehyung pretends to be offended, but he doesn’t deny your comment either. “You’re really his type, you know.”

“I’m whose type?”

“Jungkook’s.”

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“I’ve said this before, but you’re a lot like Snow.”

“How?”

“In how you present yourself,” Taehyung says. “You and her both come across as cold and heartless, but somehow I don’t buy it.” He doesn’t buy what? That you’re just as much of a bitch on the inside too? Ha.

“Jungkook must have weird taste then,” you shrug. Because in your opinion, you’re not exactly an easy person to love.

“But-” Taehyung is cut off by the professor starting class. You don’t know what more he could’ve said to make you change your mind anyway.

“There won’t be any lecture for today’s class.” Your professor is busy typing away at her computer, perhaps trying to get caught up on paperwork and grading old assignments. “Instead, I want you all to take this time to work on your group projects. You may leave the classroom if you must, but remember to stay on task!”

With that, your classmates jam out of the room as if they were just freed from prison. You hear a couple of friends deciding which boba place to try out. Another group, the overachievers of the class, head somewhere outside to actually work on the project. Taehyung, too, looks as if there’s somewhere else he needs to be.

“So I-”

“Go ahead and get laid,” you sigh, shooing the boy away with your hand. “We’ll work next time when all three of us are here.”

“Thanks, Y/N! You get me,” Taehyung waves bye before dashing off.

You wave back as the hall clears out around you. It seems everyone else has found somewhere to go. Everyone except you.

But it’s fine. You’re fine.

Buzz! You jump at the sudden phone notification that seems to echo off the walls of the empty hall. Oh look, it’s a text from your only friend.

10:32AM jinnie❤️ “good morning ^O^// just checking in on you”

10:33AM jinnie❤️ “how are you holding up with everything?”

“I’m fine!” you mumble rather aggressively to yourself, sliding your ass down onto the filthy hallway floor before texting back. Your chunky guitar case sits in your lap like a baby so it doesn’t get dirty.

10:34AM Y/N “i miss seeing you at work everyday :((((”

10:34AM Y/N “lololololol jk”

10:35AM Y/N “fuck work, am i right”

10:36AM jinnie❤️ “Y/N”

10:37AM Y/N “😒”

10:37AM Y/N “im fine”

10:38AM jinnie❤️ “thats exactly what people say when theyre not fine”

But you are fine. You’re completely fine with sitting all alone in an empty hallway, texting your only friend who also happens to be your manager.

10:39AM jinnie❤️ “what are you doing now?”

You pick up your guitar and start walking away. Obviously, you can’t tell him what you were actually doing because it would worry him too much. But you can’t lie to him either.

10:41AM Y/N “if you really must know”

You wait until you arrive at your new location before answering Seokjin’s million-dollar question. You’ve found your place.

10:45AM Y/N “im practicing in the music room before my theory class starts”

He sends you the Surprised Pikachu meme but also a few supportive comments.

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “good luck!”

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “and if you ever need something, please reach out to me!”

10:47AM jinnie❤️ “ill be checking in on you every now and then, but please enjoy your time off~”

10:48AM Y/N “thank you seokjin”

With your manager off your back, you settle into the empty music classroom and pull your trusty guitar out of its case. The flat and out of tune strings remind you of how long it’s been since the last time you touched the guitar. Because despite carrying it around wherever you go, it’s all for show.

In all honesty, you’re too afraid to let others hear, and yet, part of you wants them to know. You want them to know you’re an artist in your own right—without the judgment. But that’s asking for too much from this cruel world. Especially when you know you aren’t there yet.

One by one, you turn the pegs on your guitar, fine tuning each string by ear. That’s always been your secret talent, and maybe that’s how you’ve never been off-key since the moment you said your first words. If there was one thing you had going for you as an idol, it was that.

Once all the strings are tuned, you just sit there, staring at your fingers curved naturally in the C chord position. The muscle memory is still very much ingrained in you, but so are the scars. The last time you actually held your guitar, you were told you weren’t good enough. So you ended up settling for something else.

Today, however, you want to change that. You shouldn’t let several people’s opinions determine what you can or can’t amount to just because they were the professionals of the industry who supposedly “knew” what they were doing. They didn’t know you then, and they certainly don’t know you now. They don’t even know your real name.

But that’s okay. Having a secret identity makes you feel as though you can someday become a true superhero, someone who makes the world a better place from behind the scenes. In that sense, you want to be someone like your current favorite person on the internet, jk.seagull. You don’t know him, nor do you know his real name.

All you know is that his craft makes you happy.

With the funny fanfic boy in mind, you glance up to make sure the coast is clear before taking your first strum. Despite the dullness of your old worn-out strings, what your ears hear is crisp and bright.

-

You aren’t sure how much time has passed since you began singing along to a melody only you know, but you’re suddenly pulled back into reality with a single mention of her from outside the classroom.

“What do you think about the Snow news?”

“It’s honestly sad.”

“With how little she contributes to her music, I really don’t think she deserves a break.”

“She should just keep going. How hard is it to sing a few songs? I hope she knows she’s letting a lot of people down just so she could relax.”

“Or better yet, she should just retire early.”

You set down your guitar on the piano bench. You’ve heard quite enough and you’re ready to slam the door on the noisy group passing by. But by the time you peek your head out from the crack, the group is already at the other end of the hall. You do, however, find a surprise sitting right outside the music room.

The boy who was supposedly too sick to come to class is too busy sketching away to notice you staring at him.

“How long have you been sitting out here?”

The tiny hairs on the back of the boy’s neck stand up as his drawing hand freezes at the sound of your voice. He turns around, looking up at you as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Since I started sketching.” Jungkook shows you a simple yet pretty drawing of a flowery spring field. By his art standards, it couldn’t have taken him long to draw that one page.

But it isn’t until you start flipping through the rest of the pages in the sketchbook that you realize he’d been sitting there for quite a while. Each page is similar to the last with only slight differences in between. When you fly through the pages like a flipbook, you see the whole picture.

From the first sketch of spring flowers, snow slowly covers the field until only a single flower remains in a winter wonderland. If you go in reverse, you can watch as the snow melts away until that one flower disappears amongst its brethren.

“What kind of flower is that?” You point to the one that somehow managed to blossom through the thickness of the snow. Maybe if it were colored in, you’d have a better idea.

“A strong one?” Jungkook shrugs as if he’s not the artist who knows the the answer. You hate yourself for cackling along at his lousy joke. He closes his sketchbook as a way to change the subject. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Funny you should ask. The professor dismissed our class to work on the group projects. And then Tae ditched to go do his usual skirt-chasing shenanigans because somebody in our group didn’t show up.”

“Sorry,” the boy bites his lower lip with a hint of regret. “I didn’t really feel well enough to sit in class today.”

“Then why didn’t you just stay at home?”

“I still had this project to turn in and finish for my other class.” He raises his sketchbook. “And besides, music is the best medicine.”

You feel your cheeks burning up. The last person you expected to catch you messing around with your guitar in the music department was the art student who was supposed to be out sick. “How much did you hear…?”

“All I heard was one song…” He assures you for a slight second before going in for the kill, “…that you kept replaying over and over and over-”

“I get it. You heard a lot,” you hiss. “You better not tell anyone! Not even Tae.”

“I won’t,” he promises, chuckling at your distress. It seems the kid’s gotten comfortable enough around you to start clowning you. “It’s a nice song, by the way.”

“Really?” You want to believe him, but you have a hard time doing so. When all you’ve heard was brutal criticism for the past few years, it’s difficult to accept any compliment without feeling like there’s ill intent behind it. It feels wrong to feel good about yourself.

Besides, maybe he’s just complimenting you out of obligation. Like he’s trying to be nice, even if he doesn’t actually feel that way about your song.

“I’ll burden the pain so you don’t have to,” he says.

“What?”

“That’s a line from the lyrics, right?”

You nod.

“It’s a very Y/N thing to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook shrugs and swirls his Sailor Venus keychain around his index finger. “Just take it as a compliment, Y/N.”

If not for his soft teasing smile, your mind would still be filled with doubt. Instead, you accept the compliment and gain a tiny bit of confidence back.

“Come in for a second,” you start walking back inside the music room. “And close the door behind you.”

Jungkook does as he’s told, his eyes glued to your guitar as you pick it up off the piano bench. There, you do something you’ve never practiced but had always hoped to perform as Snow—your own acoustic version of one of your songs.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never practiced or touched your guitar in years. You know the key, the chords, the strum pattern. And you know how to make it your own. Not Snow’s or anyone else’s.

When you’re done with your mini acoustic performance, the boy can’t help but chuckle. He’s about to clown you again. You can feel it.

“What??”

“It’s nothing.”

“Jungkook.”

“It’s seems like you don’t hate Snow as much as you lead on.”

“I was only trying to show how I would’ve done the song if I were her.”

“Ah, so you criticize Snow so much because you think you can do better?”

“Not necessarily better… just differently.” You hope that answer is enough to satisfy the boy. But it’s not. He only nods with an awfully suspicious smirk. “What now??”

“It’s cool that you want to be a songwriter.”

“I never said that I did,” you say with a slight pout and hmph. You’ve never once mentioned your true dreams to anyone besides maybe some random kid at camp when you were ten. You’d hate to announce your bold aspirations with the utmost confidence, only to flop and fail before achieving anything. You’d rather keep it a secret until you perhaps “pop-off” as the kids say.

“Sure.” He doesn’t believe you.

“Are you always this sassy when you’re sick?”

His long locks flow as he shakes his head. “I’m feeling better now, actually. Thanks to your medicine.”

Maybe the kid was faking his sickness all along. Then again, Taehyung did say Jungkook wasn’t the type to skip class under most circumstances. Perhaps there was something else that was bothering him.

“Wait, you weren’t upset about Snow’s hiatus, right?” You remember the gossip from the noisy group that had passed by earlier. The beating you took from their words still stings.

“To be honest, I was worried about her at first with everything that went on,” Jungkook says. “But I think she probably just needed some time away from all that.”

“Probably,” is all you say, doing your best to downplay the amount of relief his words gave you. He isn’t upset or let down; he just wishes the best for your well-being. And as an idol, that’s all you’ve ever asked for. “You know, you’re the nicest Snow fan I’ve ever met.”

“You know a lot of other Snow fans?” Jungkook tilts his head at your odd statement. Oh right. You’ve only really met other fans as Snow, not as Y/N. Now you sound suspicious.

“Oh yeah, for sure. My friend, Seokjin, reads Snow smut all the time,” you force out a laugh while making a mental apology to your manager. Then you decide it’s best to change the subject before you blow your cover. “Speaking of fanfiction, I need your opinion on Witch Hazel!”

“What about it?”

“The new bunny character.” You whip out your phone for direct reference of the comic. “He’s funny, right?”

“He’s good at teasing Snow,” Jungkook looks at your phone screen of the bunny saying that Snow thinks he’s cute. “I wonder if he’ll make her fall for him.”

“I want him to.” Your eyes light up without knowing. To have Snow fall in love is wishful thinking, but a large part of you craves romance deep down—even if it’s only for the fictional version of yourself. “But at the same time, he’s not Snow’s type.”

“What’s Snow’s type?”

“Huh?” You somehow managed to fuck up again, so you shrink yourself and hope to disappear. “I don’t know… Why would I know what Snow’s type is…? It’s probably not a playboy like the bunny, but I wouldn’t know that…!”

“So you think she’d like someone more… considerate?”

You nod. “Probably just someone who takes the time to get to know her.”

“I guess we’ll see in the upcoming chapters.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You can’t quite hold back a smile. After all, your day always feels a lot better when it involves your favorite little comic.

Jungkook must’ve noticed your face because he makes a comment. “I am curious, though, as to why you like Witch Hazel so much when you clearly don’t care for Snow herself.”

“For me, it has nothing to do with Snow.” To mask your smile, you make a cute duck face instead. “Reading it just… makes me happy.” As much as you’d hate to admit it, it’s been a long time since anything has given you good vibes the way that one comic does.

“That’s good,” the boy says, gathering his things to head to his next class. “It’s the same for me with Snow’s music… in case you were wondering.” And with that, he leaves you with something to think about.

If Snow’s music is Jungkook’s medicine, Witch Hazel is yours.

-

By the time you get home from school, you’re still smiling like an idiot after what Jungkook had said. Snow’s music makes him happy, and the mere thought of that makes you happy. It’s in (very rare) times like this that you remember why you chose to become an idol in the first place. It’s why you endure the pain.

With your mind clouded in an unfamiliar wave of emotion, you pull out your phone and tap on Jungkook’s contact information. After changing his contact name to something cuter, you start composing a casual message just to say hi.

Jungkook. What if I told you a secret?

Delete. You’ve never deleted a message so quick. You don’t even know which secret you would’ve told the boy. That you’re his crush, Snow? Or that he’s yours? Not that you have a huge crush on him… You swear it’s just a tiny one!

Regardless, you shouldn’t be sharing any of your deepest secrets with him—at least not for now. It’s not that you don’t trust him. It’s just that it’s a tricky situation to be in.

Your eyes move from your guitar, to the stacks of handwritten sheet music beside it, to the album that won you your first award—where the pain all began. Even the most supportive fan could not imagine what you’ve given up to be the idol that you are, to be someone with a name.

The only thing you can do now is take it all back. And only then will you let Jungkook in. But until that time comes, you don’t belong to him or anyone else.

4:44PM Snow “Are you free to talk?”

4:46PM Jimin “Yeah”

[callboxkat]

Infinitesimal (part 12)

Author’s note: Feeling a bit better at the moment, so this got finished. It’s still technically Monday where I live, so.

Warnings: panic attack mention, blood mention, injury mention, illness mention, death mention

Word count: 1118

Check the notes for the masterpost

...

Roman got home from his classes later that afternoon. Logan was sitting in the kitchen, working on homework.

“How’s Patton?” he asked after the obligatory greetings.

“He asked to be alone,” Logan said after a beat. “It’s only been an hour or so since then. I figured I could give him a bit longer.”

“You’re sure he’s not trying to run away?”

“Well, I hope he isn’t. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.”

Roman nodded. He glanced toward the doorway that led to where Patton was. “I’m going to go check on him, to make sure he’s still there and, y’know, alive.”

Logan just looked away without reply. Roman shrugged to himself and walked towards the other room. Just outside the doorway, he stopped, and softly called out, “Hey, Patton? You okay? May I come in?”

There was no response, or at least none that he could hear. Roman frowned, a little concerned. He stepped through the doorway and approached the cage. The door was still open, but Patton wasn’t where Roman had last seen him. Nor was he inside.

“Patton?” he called softly. He looked around on the table, his concern growing, until he finally spotted the little guy. He was half hidden between the cage and some books, curled up under his blanket, fast asleep.

Roman sighed in relief. Patton was alright, and he hadn’t run away. He watched for a few seconds, and the mouse-man shifted without waking. He needs a pillow, Roman thought. Maybe he could work on that before starting his homework.

Back in the other room, he approached Logan. “He’s fine,” he informed him quietly. “Just sleeping.”

Logan tapped his pen against the side of his textbook for a moment. “Roman… I….”

The man in question paused, frowning. “What?”

“I… do believe that I may have… inadvertently contributed to—or that is, I….”

“Hey, Poindexter, calm down and spit it out. What is it?”

“A small situation occurred while you were gone.”

Roman glanced back towards the other room in concern before addressing his roommate warily. “Which means?”

“A panic attack, I believe, which may have been spurred on by… or—or at least contributed to by my actions.”

“You gave him a panic attack? Dammit, Lo, I told you to be gentle! What did you do, interrogate him? Please tell me you didn’t grab him.”

“No, of course not! I—I merely offered to remove the door to the cage, so that he would no longer feel trapped. However, he grew quite anxious as soon as I entered the room with the screwdriver, and he did not seem to listen when I attempted to properly explain my intentions.”

Roman groaned loudly and covered his face with his hands. “Oh, my gosh, Logan….” After a few seconds of frustrated silence, he dropped his hands. “Just think for a second. Try to imagine you’re him. How would you feel if someone came at you with a sharp metal tool as long as your entire body? He probably doesn’t even know what a screwdriver is.”

There was a long pause. Then, in a sheepish tone, Logan said, “I suppose you do make a valid point.”

…

Virgil was watching the room from his perch on a shelf, where he’d spent the last ten minutes or so. He could see a vague shape below that he knew to be Patton, lying on the same table where, as far as Virgil was aware, he’d spent practically the whole time since the humans had brought him here.

He tensed when one of the humans entered the room and approached Patton, but they left after only a few seconds without bothering the captive little. Virgil waited a moment, then forced his muscles to relax again.

He wanted to go down there, to try again to rescue him; but a few things stopped him.

The first was his brother, who was currently asleep at home. He would probably not approve of Virgil’s choice of vantage points if he were here. Emile thought that Virgil was rather helpless. He claimed otherwise, of course, but Virgil knew. If it were up to his brother, Virgil would never leave home. Of course, he knew it was out of nothing but concern and love, but Virgil needed to get out sometimes. While he hated taking risks, he also didn’t want to live his life closed up in a wall. He had to make sure that Emile didn’t find out about his exploits, at least until after Patton had been rescued. Virgil had already accepted that there was no way to avoid the end of any secrecy about his outings once he was free. He knew Emile wouldn’t buy that Patton had just wandered into their house, and for all Virgil knew, Patton was a horrible liar anyway.

For now, though, he needed to continue keeping his comings and goings a secret. Sometimes, that was easier said than done.

Virgil rubbed the frayed end of his hoodie sleeve between his fingers. It had been quite the challenge getting the blood out of the jacket before Emile could see it—it was still damp, in fact, although that wouldn’t keep Virgil from wearing it.

The second reason he wasn’t down there rescuing Patton right now was that he wanted to wait until the humans weren’t around to stop him, or worse, to see him. The odds of Virgil escaping were not exactly in his favor should he be spotted. His gimp foot slowed him down, and on top of that, Patton didn’t seem to be in the best of health either. If Virgil was caught, he knew that there was no way they would be able to get away. Virgil needed to find a low-risk opportunity for a rescue attempt.

As much as he wanted to get Patton out of there as soon as possible, he was more willing to wait now than he had been before. At first, he’d felt that he had to rush—for all he’d known, Patton’s death, severe harm, or interrogation were imminent. Virgil had wanted to act before it was too late, before Patton was hurt or any information about the larger population of littles was revealed. But that didn’t appear to be the humans’ endgame—he still hadn’t figured out what was their endgame, but Virgil seemed to have some time. Whatever they were planning, it seemed like they wanted their captive to recover first. Virgil could wait until Patton had improved more, and until he could take advantage of an occasion when the humans were gone.

Of course, if it looked like Virgil was running out of time, he would act sooner.  But for now, he could wait.

Tag list:  @romanasanders @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @anyay666 @nightmarejasmine @side-for-sides @joyfullyyouniquefangirl @infinitesimal-grey @justanotherpurplebutterfly @punsterterry @dylan-winchesters-blog  @i-like-cookiez @smol-jar-of-pickles @brookeisanerd @scorching-scotch @of-swords-and-princes  @a-black-pegasus @brooky71 @downrightdanny @rainbow-sides @arc852 @thats-so-crash @bluebloodstains @musicwithalex @thepoolofthedead @wolfie-kinz  @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts @lotusthatexists @quoth-the-sparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @heck-im-lost @gayfandomsaremything

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Omg I never knew you wrote spiderman!!! i was like omg??/ Im so happy?? anyway what about if Peter gets a migraine round at the stark tower and he's like 'its only a headache I'll be fine' and... he's not lol @ him

(This is baby’s first Spiderman fic!! There’s been quite a few amazing ones so have my dollar store discount contribution :“) but I love me some Spiderman tbh!! not the longest fic for now bc I haven’t written Peter ever!! Also I’m excited to come back to marvel!!)

Occasionally Peter would feel a little insecure about his place in life; sometimes feeling like he wasn’t quite a part of something as much as everyone else. Of course, he had Ned who he loved very dearly and appreciated, but he wondered sometimes if he was missing out on his teenage years. Sometimes felt excluded and pushed to the shadows, being at the bottom of the High School Hierarchy.

Being the Spiderman gave him a sense of purpose, it made him feel like he was doing something with his life, made him feel good about himself.

It had been a week full of parties he wasn’t invited to, a week of scrolling through his little to no followers instagram trying to study for a Spanish test and seeing fellow classmates with hundreds of likes having fun. So when Tony Stark invited him round to the Stark Tower that weekend for some suit upgrades, Peter was excited.

It was all he was really thinking about, using that as an excuse to get through the horrible week. He had pulled a lot of all nighters trying to study for various tests, and catching up with the Decathlon team to redeem himself for his disappearances, and needless to say he was burned out. He needed this trip to Stark’s more than ever.

"Are you sure you should go to Stark’s like that?” Ned frowned, eyeing up his way too pale friend who had the darkest circles under his eyes, and who was also desperately rubbing at his temples.

“Like what? I’m good, Ned! Look at me, I’m ready to see him,” Peter insisted, clenching his teeth at his pounding headache.

“Did Mr Stark request that he sees you at your absolute worst or am I missing something?” Ned shot back, still very hesitant to let his best friend just take off like this.

Peter rolled his eyes, “I’m fine, dude! Look, I really need this right now.”

Ned sighed, still obviously very concerned, “Just..look after yourself or something. If you die I guess I’ll have to be Spiderman and I can’t do that yet because I’ve got a huge test coming up!”

Peter smirked, “In your dreams, dude! Catch ya later.” He scurried out of the school doors, where he caught sight of Happy’s limo. A wave of excitement rushed through him, momentarily forgetting about his pounding headache and waved enthusiastically at him. Happy waved back boredly, but fondly.

“Wait this shit is real?!” Flash gasped as Peter climbed onto the car and waved proudly at Flash. Happy could only groan as he pulled away, driving off.

“I’m so glad that you picked me up at the front of the school!! Thanks dude!! Now Flash knows this isn’t a fluke!” Peter said excitedly, adrenaline rushing through his body.

Happy huffed fondly, “Well, it is kinda a fluke, you don’t actually have an internship. But I only did that because I want to get out of this car as soon as possible.”

Peter pouted, a sly smile creeping onto his face, “Awh, you just missed me, Happy! Don’t try and hide it! You missed me so much you just couldn’t wait for much longer!”

Happy tried to disguise his smile, and was thankful someone decided to call him. He picked up the phone and answered. As the car quieted down, the adrenaline in Peter’s body lowered and suddenly he became aware of his extreme fatigue once again.

Peter slumped against the car seat, hissing ever so slightly as his head throbbed, a sudden surge of pain in his head. He lifted a hand to his temples, rubbing circles discreetly as not to raise any suspicion.

He closed his eyes as to suspend any possible sensory stimuli. He felt exhausted and drained, weak, lowkey wishing he had listened to Ned. However that stubborn voice inside his head told him otherwise, that this was the right choice. He felt his body relax, begging him desperately to rest for a little bit. He was hesitant, but a few minutes of nodding off while Happy spoke on the phone was totally fine, right?

“Wake up, kid,” Happy’s voice boomed out, causing Peter to jolt awake.

He tensed, looking up to see Happy’s disapproving gaze, smiling sheepishly. He went bright red in shame, realising he must have been asleep the whole trip there.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, pressing his lips together as he climbed out of the car, nearly tripping over his own feet. Letting out a little “whew”, he straightened himself out, and looked up to see the Stark Tower, amazed. He was in awe, the magnificent spectacle never ceasing to cause his jaw to drop.

“Alright kid, stop gawking and get inside,” Happy chuckled softly, although he was extremely concerned, watching with furrowed eyebrows as the teenager ran inside the tower. He cleared his throat, knowing something was wrong.

As Peter and Happy escalated through the lift, his headache, which now was surely a migraine, begin to intensify, a sharp paining throbbing in his head. Peter let out a tiny grunt of discomfort, eyes squeezing shut for a few seconds in pain. In those few seconds he missed Happy’s concerned glance.

Once the elevator doors reopened Peter stepped out, eyes twinkling with delight as he saw all the advanced tech around him. He walked around slowly, trying to walk as straight as possible due to his dizziness. He hoped he was convincing, but deep down he knew he was was not walking straight at all.

“Don’t break anything,” Happy warned, jokingly.

“I’ll try! Can I touch though?!” He said excitedly.

“Absolutely not,” Tony’s voice rang out from across the room, making his presence known and strutting out in full designer suit.

Peter flushed bright red, chuckling nervously, “Totally a joke!!”

Tony raised an eyebrow fondly, “Yes, of course it was, Pete.”

“So! What do you need me to do? Do you need me to demonstrate anything?” Peter asked with as much enthusiasm as he could, wanting to make the most of this experience and prove himself Tony. In reality, he was declining in energy levels fast and all he wanted to do was curl up and rest. He did a twirl in the air to try and show off his eagerness, but only resulted in his head spinning rapidly, the room spinning like he was on some amusement park ride. It was like his Earth was tilting, causing him to stumble slightly.

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Nice going, prima ballerina.”

Peter blushed again to which Tony frowned, “Also, aren’t ballerinas meant to be all prim and pretty? You aren’t looking too hot, Peter.”

Peter’s eyes widened, “Uh, I just..had a long day at school! Is all!”

“Hmm,” Tony replied and began to walk towards another room, “follow me then, Swan Lake.”

Peter nodded, carefully following Tony, trying to keep his balance and not trip over and break something and lose the suit forever. He entered Stark’s lab, eyes lighting up with awe and wonder.

“Woah,” he whispered, eyes twinkling with delight and excitement.

“Woah indeed,” Tony remarked, heading to one of his most recent developments and beginning to demonstrate.

Peter tried his absolute best to listen to him, because he wanted to, he really did. Normally he’d be all ears, sucking in information like a vacuum. This was Stark Industries tech for gods sake, one of the most advanced tech of their generation.

As Tony continued to explain the science behind his invention coolly, Peter began to get extremely frustrated. His brain wasn’t fully processing the information, cutting out bits, concentration wavering as his migraine continued to intensify. He clenched his teeth, hoping the pain would just subside for a little bit so he could actually listen to Mr Stark.

As Peter forced his senses to cooperate with him, he found that his head hurt even more. His vision began to blur and fade in and out, blinking rapidly as a futile attempt to correct his impaired vision. His spidey senses were going haywire.

“Peter, are you having trouble keeping up?” Tony said, interrupting himself from his little lecture.

Peter shook his head, “No Mr Stark, of course not.”

As he forced himself to process information, his brain was desperately trying to reject it, overloaded and overwhelmed. There was a finite amount of energy left in Peter before the migraine would eventually win. As his senses were overwhelmed, so was his migraine, and the agonising pain reached a peak.

A shooting, burning pain tormented his head, so harsh and unforgiving Peter couldn’t help the hiss and groan of anguish ripping out of his throat.

“Peter?” Tony exclaimed.

His entire body was wracked with this overwhelming pain as his knees began to buckle, giving out, feeling himself begin to fall when Tony was at his side. Tony held him tightly so he wouldn’t fall, his grasp firm and reassuring.

“Peter, what’s wrong?” He asked calmly, trying to keep a level head in this situation. It became clear to Peter that Tony knew something was up all along.

“My head hurts so much,” Peter whimpered into Tony’s side, teeth clenched.

Tony gave him a sympathetic look, sighing softly as he called out, “Happy? Go get the medicine and stuff, I’m taking Peter to his room.”

Tony picked the teenager up effortlessly, as Peter struggled to stay conscious, lights flickering in and out. The older man exited his lab, heading towards a room already made elegantly and laid him down onto the bed. Peter’s muscles relaxed as his skin came into contact with the soft, luxurious mattress and blanket.

Happy entered the room, saying something inaudible to Tony as the room started to fade into darkness.

“I’m sorry Mr Stark,” Peter whimpered softly as he lost consciousness.

Peter woke up groggily to a night sky by his window and Tony flicking the lights open. His heart a lot less, with only a few remaining remnants of the pain.

“How are you feeling?” Tony asked as he approached the teenager.

“Better,” Peter croaked, sitting up weakly as he rubbed his eyes. He tried to calm down the bedhead he was sure he had; but knew he was not too successful at that. Tony sat down at the edge of his bed, sighing as he passed Peter some aspirin and a glass of water.

Peter gulped down the glass of water, trying to distract himself from the feeling of guilt and shame ridden in his chest. “What time is it?”

“6:30,” Tony replied, inhaling deeply, a sure sign that he was about to lecture him.

“Pete, if you wanna be the Spiderman, you gotta start looking after yourself. Your no use to the civilians if you’re not well, you need to learn to take care of yourself more and know your boundaries. Hiding stuff doesn’t help anyone, you, me, the innocent people you want to save..It’s not convincing either,” Tony started.

“Happy texted me that you were sick the second you fell asleep in the car, I was hoping that you would give in and tell the truth once you got here. Pushing yourself when it’s not necessary isn’t the way to–Peter?” Tony came to a halt as a very light and quiet sniffling sound resonated from the teenager.

Peter cried quietly, aggressively trying to wipe away the tears he was unwillingly shedding. He tried to repress the sounds of his tiny sobs, feeling pathetic and weak.

Tony’s eyes softened, heart breaking as he inched closer to the boy, “Hey, c'mon man, what’s up?”

Peter shook his head violently, unable to stop himself from the little hiccups and never ending tears. He turned away from him, not wanting him to see him like this.

Tony sighed softly, “Pete, did you not hear anything I just said there? My whole lecture about not hiding things? Bottling up emotions is the same situation–you can’t do that shit. It doesn’t work–trust me, I would know.”

Peter sniffled, voice shaky, “..I just..I’m really angry at myself I guess..I wanted this to be special because nothing in my normal life is ever really special and everyone else seems to be having so much fun..they all seem so happy..and I’m lucky because I have Ned and some people have no one but still I know everyone looks down on me and I just wanted to prove myself–”

Tony interrupted him, “Is anyone bullying you? Who’s bullying you? Tell me–”

Peter shook his head, “No, Mr Stark. No ones..I just..i guess it’s more of a me thing..I feel like I’m just on the outside watching everyone living their lives and being teenagers and I’m just..not capable of that I guess. I feel so stupid and useless all the time like nothing I ever do is important or means anything..and I guess I just wanted this Spiderman thing because it gives me purpose and..maybe I am nothing without this suit, I don’t–”

“Peter, stop this at once. You have proven yourself worthy of that suit on numerous occasions, all those things you’re saying about yourself is not true,” Tony interrupted, his voice firm and genuine.

Peter stayed quiet, wiping away at his tears, the sight way too heartbreaking for Tony.

“Oh for..c'mere,” Tony said, opening his arms.

Peter widened his eyes, “Y-you mean..”

Tony smiled, “I’m not just opening the door for you this time.”

Peter practically tacked Tony into a hug, wrapping his arms around him as he sobbed quietly. Tony sighed, rubbing the teenager’s back sweetly, trying to offer this kid reassurance and care.

“I felt like you too once, you know,” Tony said softly.

“..Y-you? Really?”

Tony chuckled, “Yes I did. Sure, I was Howard Stark’s son, but I always felt left out and excluded growing up. I felt like I couldn’t just be a teenager, you know? It’s bullshit when people say your teenage years are the best years, there’s still a lot coming for you, Pete.”

Peter giggled through his tears, feeling a lot better, a whole weight lifting off his shoulders.

Tony rubbed his back soothingly, smiling, “We are going to have a good weekend, Pete. I promise you.”

[seonrise-blog]

( &; development sheet.

&;  BASICS

Full Name: Christian Jun-hyuk Seon. Pronunciation: Chris-chen Joon-heyok Sun. Nickname/Alias: Chris (most commonly used), Jun, Ian (for close friends and family). Meaning: Christian comes from the name Christos, meaning “anointed” or “one of Christ.” Jun-hyuk is Sino-Korean for talented, capable, handsome (Jun) and bright, radiant, glowing (Hyuk). His last name, Seon, is the Korean variation of the Chinese character meaning “new, or fresh.” Pet Name: Ava refers to Christian as “bighead” or “fathead.” His grandmother calls him a puppy, and his father calls him sport. Gender: Cis male. Orientation: Bisexual. Birthday: July 31, 1997. Birthplace: San José, California, USA. Astrological Sign: Leo. Zodiac Sign: Year of the Water Ox.

&; APPEARANCE

Ethnicity/Nationality: Korean American. Blood Type: AB-. Preferred Hand: Ambidextrous, prefers to use his left hand for writing and his right hand for other tasks. Eye Color: Coffee brown. Hair Color: Usually has dark hair, either dark brown or black. Sometimes dyes his hair a lighter color like a strawberry blond or honey blond. Hairstyle: Lets his hair dry naturally, fringe unstyled. Skin Tone: Light golden hue, easily tanned. Complexion: Suffers from acne. Has oily skin that is currently being treated by his agency’s dermatologist. Makeup: On stage, he wears foundation and fills in his eyebrows slightly. They usually put a little bit of shadow and liner if needed. Build: Tall, muscular. Arms are veiny, arm muscles prominent. Thick thighs and broad shoulders. Baby face with a masculine body. Height: 5’10, 178cm. Weight: 155 lbs, 70kg. Shoe Size: Size 10 in Mens (US), 290 (Korea). Birthmarks/scars: Scar on his left cheek. He got the scar by running towards the jungle gym’s monkey bars and missed the monkey bars and fell onto his face. He cried for two hours. Distinguishing Features: Big eyes, big nose. Two front teeth that protrude out slightly. Tattoos: Left forearm tattoo that says “I’ll keep you safe, you keep me wild.” Right and left arm tattoos dedicated to the Sewol Ferry Tragedy. Right chest tattoo that says “Do not regret and do not surrender.” Piercings: Three lobe piercings on his left ear, lobe piercing and double helix on his right ear.

&; HEALTH

Health: Overall, he’s somewhat physically healthy. He has asthma, controlled by the asthma pump. Since it’s spring time, his asthma gets worse so he has to make sure he carries it around. He also has anemia, which makes it hard for him to do intense workouts/dance routines. Energy: He doesn’t have a lot of energy and slugs around most of the day. Which is why he could never be a full out idol trainee. His anemia also contributes to his lack of energy. Memory: He remembers everything a person tells him. Something you said last week? He remembers. What you ate for breakfast? He remembers that too. Sometimes it’s a hindrance, but he remembers a lot about his friends and family. Senses: His hearing is exceptional. He can hear you talking shit from far away. He has a good ear for music because of his hearing. He can differentiate notes and tones easily and can tell when something is off pitch, even if it’s not noticeable to others. Allergies: Allergic to certain flowers (roses, lilacs, anything really potent). Grapefruit and kiwis give him bad hives. Medication: Prozac (for depression) and over-the-counter melatonin pills (to induce sleep). Phobias: Acrophobia (fear of heights), Gephyrophobia (fear of bridges) and Aphenphosmphobia (fear of intimacy). Mental Disorders: Depression, has episodes less frequently if he takes his medicine regularly.

&; MANNERISMS 

Style: Neutral and darker tones are his favorites. Likes wearing ripped jeans, big shirts. Wears his glasses when he’s tired. Prefers to be comfortable. Grooming: Well-kept. Occasionally, he’ll look a little more rugged and unshaven. That’s only if he’s stressed out or has not had enough time to properly groom himself. Posture: Slouches, rarely sits up straight. The only time he sits properly is around his father and his father’s friends. Coordination: Physically fit, but really clumsy. Falls a lot, trips over small things. His reflexes are good when he doesn’t really pay attention. He’s more coordinated when he’s not thinking about a lot of things. Habits and Mannerisms: Tilts his head when nervous, bites of skin from his lips, cracking knuckles. Also sneezes when he gets nervous. Scent: Smells like Gucci Guilty for Men. Mood: He always seems relaxed when you talk to him. He always seems tired. Attitude: When he doesn’t really know someone, he talks to them with a lot of respect, using honorifics even if they’re younger than him. He’ll crack a few jokes to break the ice. once you get to know him, you’ll see how dumb he is. Stability: Emotionally, he isn’t as stable as he appears. There’s more than meets the eye. He hides a lot of things because he doesn’t really understand how to properly express his feelings. He helps other people emotionally, but really can’t invest in his own feelings. Expressiveness: He hides his emotions, which is one thing he learned from his father. The only time he expresses his pain or sorrow is if he’s at the point of breaking. When Happy: Hums, talks a lot, eyes glimmer and he’s usually really smiley. His dimples are prominent. He usually dances around when something good happens. When Depressed: Doesn’t talk to many people. Says he’s going to sleep but sits around until sunrise thinking about what’s wrong with him. Doesn’t pay attention to what he wears, just throws on anything he can find. When Angry: His veins are prominent, and his jaw clenches. He slams his hands into the nearest object, but then runs off so he can cool down. Hates when people intervene. Don’t touch him. Note: These are generalizations. Different situations will create different reactions.

&; FAMILY DETAILS

Current Residence: Currently living in a dorm with Ava and their manager in Gangnam, Seoul, near the Mystic89 headquarters. Family: Seon “Ronald” Jun-young, U.S. Air Force Physician (father). Born on October 23, 1970 (age 47). Kwon “Samantha” Hye-Mi, registered nurse (mother). Born on February 28, 1971 (age 47). Seon “Nicole” Bomi, younger sister. Born on November 11, 2011 (age 7). Seon “Vincent” Jun-soo, younger brother. Born on April 19, 2014 (age 4). Seon “Jennifer” Sun-mi, youngest sister. Born on December 5, 2015. Im Hye-soo (maternal grandmother). Born on May 1, 1945 (age 73). Seon Jun-ho and Kang Ji-won (paternal grandparents). Parenting: Despite the military upbringing, his family wasn’t as rigid as the stereotypes. His father was more laid back than super strict. His mother would be the one to discipline him, along with his grandmother. Household was very understanding and talked out their issues. Upbringing: His father raised him to be proud of himself and his achievements and to never let anyone tell him that his dreams were invalid. His mother pushed him to do what he loved, even if other people didn’t love it. His grandmother was the backbone in his house, and she taught him to be mannerly, and be bold without hurting other people’s feelings. Infancy: Quiet and curious as a baby. Liked to babble and escape from the crib. Would try to sing along during mass. Childhood: Reserved. Did not have many friends from the frequent moving. Super shy around classmates, rather spoke during class. His parents were worried that he got bullied, but Christian was just too scared to speak. Adolescence: Still reserved, but more willing to talk at school. Finally made some lifelong friends. Was a student athlete, and liked to write poems. Had friends in many different friend groups. Prom Prince of their school. Adulthood: He’s still quite reserved. Private about his life, and not willing to trust a lot of people like he did when he was in high school. Very independent now. Wishes to be more outgoing in the future. Coming of Age: His dad was stationed in the Middle East and he got seriously injured (ruptured spleen, broken ribs, internal bleeding) when he was a sophomore in high school. That was coincidentally the time he got scouted by JYP. He had to make a choice and he chose to be the man of the house and take care of his family before anything else.

&; OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Friends: Usually hanging out with Moon Ava, considering they’re in a duo together. Also hangs out with their manager, Kang Kyungjoon. Enemies: None for now. He doesn’t really hate anyone. Bosses: Yoon Jong-shin is his boss. He has a fairly close relationship with him, and looks at him like another dad. Pets/Familiars: Lives with two dogs, one of his own and one being Ava’s. His dog is a Pomeranian named Podo and Ava’s dog is a Corgi named Banana. Lovers: Two past relationships. One in high school, one during his trainee period. First relationship ended because his girlfriend cheated on him with one of their mutual friends. The second one ended because his significant other couldn’t handle him being busy all the time. Marital Status: Single. Sex Life: Motherfuckin’ uhhhhh. Virginity: Motherfuckin’ uhhhhh.

&; EDUCATION

IQ: 120. Education: High school diploma. He’d like to go back to university but he really doesn’t find it necessary. It’s a conflict of interest. School: Went to Silver Creek High School. Hung out with a variety of people from different friend groups. Student athlete, played basketball all throughout high school. Grade: His grades were always good, lowest grade he got was a B+. It was a shame that he didn’t want to continue with post secondary education. Was on the NHS board as the vice president. Social Stereotype: Jock who was good at school. “Popular.” Intelligence: Musically gifted. Good with interpersonal affairs. Better at creative tasks than tasks that dealt with numbers. Extracurricular Activities: National Honor Society, Basketball team, Key Club, Drama Club, Korean Club.

&; PERSONALITY

Hobbies/Interests: Eating, sleeping, taking pictures, writing songs, playing piano, drawing and painting. He likes to read mangas and watch anime. His main hobby is annoying Ava. Skills/Talents: Sings fairly well, can dance but chooses not to perform as an idol, plays piano, guitar and the drums. He taught himself how to play piano by ear. He has a natural gift for annoying a person named Ava. Likes: Spring time, cherry blossoms, cafés, sweets, late night walks, movie nights, napping, photography, painting, going to museums Dislikes: Cold weather, sand, the dentist, long lines, kiwis, sweating a lot, sour candies, getting acne, bad skincare products, roses Sense of Humor: Sarcastic, sometimes over-the-top sense of humor. Pet Peeves: Obnoxious people, anyone who hurts his friends (especially his female friends), dealing with people who are closed-minded, sexist, and homophobic. When people are wrong but they argue that they’re right. He hates when people overanalyze something he says. Hates when people tell him he’s wrong when he clearly isn’t. Superstitions/Beliefs: Believes in ghosts and the afterlife. Quirks: Always has to sleep with something by his side, whether it be a pillow or a person. Keeps his clothes color-coded. Brushes his teeth twice a day for exactly 3 minutes to avoid going to the dentist. Closet Hobby: He has a rock collection, lol… fucking nerd... Guilty Pleasure: Watching shows like Gossip Girl, The Carrie Diaries and Pretty Little Liars. MBTI Personality Type: ESFP. Temperament: Melancholic. Enneagram: The Peacemaker.

&; FAVORITES

Favorite Colors: Navy Blue, Black, White. Favorite Animals: Dogs. Favorite Mythological Creatures: Dragon. Favorite Places: Paris, France and Osaka, Japan. Favorite Flavors: Cookies and creme, cookie dough. Favorite Foods: Honey Butter Chips, spicy rice cakes Favorite Drinks: Coffee Favorite Books: The Great Gatsby, A Thousand Splendid Suns. Favorite Movies: Up, 5cm Per Second   Favorite Games: Animal Crossing, Mario Kart, Super Mario, Yoshi’s Island Favorite Shows: Sister’s Slamdunk, Produce 101, Tokyo Ghoul Favorite Music: R&B, Acoustic, Pop Favorite Artists: Wonder Girls, Frank Ocean Favorite Songs: Nights by Frank Ocean Favorite Sports: Basketball, volleyball, soccer Favorite Subjects: English, Art, Drama, Music Favorite Numbers: 3 Favorite Websites: Twitter Favorite Words: “We brought food.” Favorite Quotations: “Don’t spit against the wind.”

&; DISLIKES

Least Favorite Colors: Bright colors. Least Favorite Animals: Sharks and snakes. Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: Unicorns. Least Favorite Places: The bathroom he got stuck in during a basketball game in junior year. Never again. Least Favorite Flavors: Mint Chocolate Chip. Least Favorite Foods: Kiwis and grapefruit. Least Favorite Drinks: Lemonade. Least Favorite Books: N/A. Least Favorite Movies: Fast and Furious 8. Least Favorite Games: Mario Kart (coincidentally). Least Favorite Shows: N/A. Least Favorite Music: American Country. Least Favorite Artist: Taylor Swift. Least Favorite Songs: Any Swift song. Least Favorite Sports: Golf. Least Favorite Subjects: Math and Physics. Least Favorite Numbers: 6 and 13. Least Favorite Websites: N/A. Least Favorite Words: “We didn’t have time to get you food.” Least Favorite Quotations: “YOLO.”

[peacekaleandyoga1]

It’s difficult to lose the weight when you aren’t aware how to do it properly. It is even more frustrating when it feels as though you’ve already tried multiple times without success and do not know where else to look. This article will give you the basic rules that you could follow when trying to lose weight.

A great weight is to monitor and keep track of caloric intake on a daily basis. Cut out any fatty foods where you can. You can also eat something with other options.

You can have your favorite foods while losing weight as long as you pick the versions with less calories.Hunger and food cravings for specific foods cause many dieters. If you eat the food you love, you can still enjoy those tasty treats, you will never feel deprived and will have a better chance of sticking to your diet.

TIP! Drink green tea to help with weight loss. It’ll give you energy and up your metabolism.

Don’t keep high-calorie snack foods and other things you are avoiding in your house. If you don’t bring home donuts, they won’t tempt you. For example, prepare an attractive arrangement of fresh vegetables on a tray to keep in the refrigerator or stock tasty whole-grain crackers to grab for a quick snack.

Eating a small salad before each meal will help you lose weight. Salads contain lots of fiber which satisfies your hunger without providing you with excess calories to burn off.

Eat your largest meal in the middle of the evening. If you have a small meal at lunchtime, try having it for dinner instead.

TIP! Think about joining a weight loss program. This establishment has a support system and a meal plan.

Pack a lunch each day to help you lose weight. Bringing your lunch to work allows you to choose the foods you eat as well as the quantities. Controlling your portions is something you should do if you want to weigh a good weight loss and staying on track.

Be sure that you are getting enough rest. It is recommended for adults to get about 8 hours of sleep each night.Staying awake all hours of the night will not help you reach your body to lose weight. Getting enough sleep will keep your body maintain a healthy metabolism.

It’s always best if you don’t use the think of your program as a diet.

TIP! A healthier food alternative is to discard the egg yolk and just eat the whites. Although the yolk has some healthy nutrients it does contain lots of cholesterol and fat which is not something you want in a healthy diet.

Reducing salt intake is an excellent way to lose weight successfully. If you stop adding extra salt, you will stop craving salty foods soon enough. Fast food is loaded with salt, so avoid it.

You must consume fat in order to burn fat. However, these fatty acids, nourish the cardiovascular system while cholesterol, lead to successful weight loss because they nourish your body and lower your cholesterol.

You can eat heathy even when dinning out. For example, most establishments use so much dressing that their salads are very high in fat and calories; ordering dressing on the side and then using only half of what you’re given will make this a healthier choice.

TIP! Taking a multivitamin could improve your weight loss. When you diet, you likely stop eating some of the foods that provide the body with essential vitamins.

If you’re used to having dips and salad dressings when eating your vegetables, switch it up with olive oil or vinegar. This will eliminate a great way to quickly cut out tons of calories and fat from your diet.

While you are losing weight, try shopping at thrift store or discount stores because you won’t be wearing these clothes for long. This is because you want to avoid spending lots of money on clothing that will soon be too big for you.

Ask for your dressing on the side when you order salad in a sit-down restaurant. You consume less dressing than would be added by the server. You will be grateful that you cut out unnecessary calories after you see the pounds melting away.

TIP! Count your calories. This can be done in a lined journal or notepad.

You appetite will be less if you have blue hues around you.Blue has been known to suppress one’s appetite. Try using blue plates at your dining table and see if this has an effect. However, refrain from using anything that is red, yellow, or red items around, as they encourage your appetite. Most people are not realize how strongly visual cues influence the quantity of food we eat. Try to remember this as you find your dinner table or getting dressed to go out for dinner.

If you notice they are relaxed, resume the position as soon as possible. This increases your muscles as well as improve your posture.

Obese children often become obese children. No responsible parent wants their child to go through the consequences of being overweight. The best time to educate them on healthy eating habits is when they are young. You can pique your children’s interest by educating them on labels. You can also let them to have a healthy snack if they find something suitable and soon they can contribute to planning weekly meals. They will end up thanking you thanks when they are much older!

TIP! Eat with a friend so you eat less and talk more. You tend to eat more when you eat by yourself because you are focused on the food in front of you.

If you are trying to lose weight, you must eat only healthy foods. Remove bad food from your pantry and fridge so you are not tempted to cheat.Eating healthily is the key to begin losing unwanted weight.

Eating healthy diet is very important when you are trying to lose weight. You should be eating lots of fresh produce as well as fiber. Cook the fruits and veggies or enjoy them as is.

Try to maintain a positive attitude when it comes to losing your weight. If you can think positively about your diet plan and your exercise routine, they won’t be something that you dread. This can help you remain motivated on those hard days.

TIP! A great way to drop weight is to drink milk before a meal. It makes your body feel full, so you won’t eat as much as you may have otherwise.

It tastes sweet, but it’s not good to drink if you are worried about your weight. Switch to water and you will see your weight decrease. If you still need to drink something sweet, reach for freshly squeezed fruit juice instead.

Just follow these simple guidelines and you’ll definitely reach your weight loss goals. It is important to take it slowly and not to be too hard on yourself when you make a mistake. If you stumble along the way, don’t get too discouraged. Changing your lifestyle is a process that occurs gradually.

If you enjoyed this post, you should read this: Im Brian Kelly, the Points Guy, and This Is How I Work

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[rewrittenkoomie]

“That’s not the wind howling” Chapter 1.

Dealing with snow was difficult, I don’t even remember why I moved into this little honkey-tonk town to begin with.

Oh, that’s right, my folks BEGGED me to come and live nearby so they could visit their grandchild more easily. It wasn’t all bad though, the view was nice and the mountains kept the worst of the weather at bay, plus it was a pretty rural area.

There were Farms nearby that my son could visit and learn about various animals and the farmers themselves were friendly enough to let him run all his energy while playing with the foals, or even letting him pet the hatchlings. He was fascinated by the small critters that would flow and ebb around his ankles, and was ecstatic when a horse would trot up calmly to meet with him.

Personally, I loved farm animals too, but being so incredibly lazy, I knew that raising them was a  task larger than I was willing to deal with. My five year-old son would come home with stories and beg to keep some of the smaller animals, most notably chicks and ducklings. He’d been begging for weeks now, ever since the other kids all got to play with and even keep at least one pet from their parent’s farms.

His eyes had been huge, begging me silently for the opportunity to have a small life that he could coddle and nurture all of his own.

“Now, you know animals are not toys. If you have one, you have to take care of it.” He nodded emphatically, His dark brown curls bouncing off his forehead and tumbling with each movement. “You know they must be Fed multiple times daily, they need to have their area cleaned up, and you need to play with them. Plus, IF,” and I stopped, Hands on my hips, Tilting my head to drive the point home.

“IF I get a pet for you, you will be in charge of it, anything it does wrong will be your fault. You have to train it to be good. Okay?” My son’s eyes danced, his wide grin so hopeful and bright.

I didn’t stand a chance.

“I’ll be really good momma! I’ll give it baths and play with it and even take it for walks, jus’ like Genny from the Holted’s farm does with the Lambs!” He was dancing in place, so excited. He didn’t seem to care if I was getting him a dog, cat, foal or even a mouse, he just wanted a pet. Something he could nurture and be proud of.

I sighed in defeat, “Okay, but it’ll have to wait until I can talk to the farmers nearby to see if any of them are willing to let you have one of their animals okay?” He squealed with delight, tackling my legs and hugging them tight. “THANK YOU MOMMA! I’LL BE THE BESTEST PET OWNER EVER!”

He then turned and ran out the door to plow through the snow I had yet to shovel from the walkway.

Shortly after he ran off to somewhere, most likely to one of the farms that he loved to wander around, I was outside and shoveling the drifts back up to the yard. It was hard work, using muscles that I didn’t normally work out.

I was just a simple single mother, working as a receptionist at a company about three hours’ drive from home into the city round-trip. It was pretty easy work, seeing as it’s all I’d been doing for the last decade. I had moved into the Rural area to be closer to my folks, plus the classes for my son were smaller and The housing was pretty darn cheap. Even more so when my folks owned the house, and land, and let us live in the mother-in-law house. All I was required to pay was the utilities for my portion.

It was a sweet deal, and after the nasty break up with the father of my son, it was a haven. I could relax and not have to worry about what that man was doing to our child while I was working. I was also getting more time to spend with my son. He seemed to flourish with all the nature around us.

I had just finished the walkway to the garage that sat next to our little home when a big Red pickup truck pulled up next to me and rolled his window down.

“Hey there Teddy, how’s it going?” Theodore was a Farmer from a few houses down, which was an average of 5 miles away, he came to visit occasionally since he met my son and preferred to be called Teddy. His Farm in particular housed larger animals. Cows, Bulls, Horses and even a few Ostriches, I still didn’t know why or how he came across those huge birds.

“I’m all good ‘Belle, how’s Gunter?” His cocky smile always made me feel warm inside.

Theodore was one of the few Bachelors still living nearby, and was a total package deal. He was tall, around six foot five, and had thick black hair. His pale green eyes seemed to sparkle when he talked about his two great passions his farm, or food. He had the traditional Farmers’ Tan and was built like a brick house. He swore he had the money for the ‘Fancy machines’ but was convinced that they made more problems than they fixed, so almost everything was done the Old-fashioned way with sweat and muscle.

He did have a couple of four-wheelers for feeding his animals and even took my son out to go meet the herds once or twice.

“Gunter’s been begging for a pet again, and I just couldn’t say ‘no’ one more time.” I sighed as Theodore chuckled.

“’E’s a good boy! A pet would do him some good, mebbie settle ‘im down some.” I pursed my lips and shot him a look of disbelief. He just continued to smirk, then changed the subject.

“Anyway, I was wonderin’ if you’d be so kind as to feed a poor bastard for the’ night?” He took on a pleading look, clasping his hands out the window as if in prayer. I sighed again, “And here I thought you liked me cuz I’m pretty!” I giggled as his face lit up.

“Just help me with the driveway so you can park and You’re mor’n welcome to stick around.” He whooped and backed up his truck quickly, then tumbled out into the crisp snow after he’d parked on the side of the road. He quickly rummaged through the truck bed and pulled out a sturdy snow shovel and began on one end of the driveway while I started at the other.

Within the hour the whole driveway had been cleared and salted just as more snow decided to fall.

“I wonder which farm Gunter decided to wander off to this time?” I wondered out loud, Teddy shrugged and dusted off his jeans as we entered the mud room to the house.

“I’s Sure he didn’t go my way, I woulda’ spotted ‘im and brought ‘im back with me.” Teddy slipped his work boots off and we both walked into the house, rosy cheeked and sweaty.

I pulled off my jacket and rested it on the nearby chair and pulled my cell phone out of the top pocket. There were no new messages, but I sent out a text to the local Farmers asking if they’d seen my son and to let me know if they needed me to come get him. In the meantime, Teddy settled down at the kitchen counter, practically draped over the stool. He sniffed the air, drinking in the scent of the pot roast I had prepped hours ago as it bubbled in the crockpot. I smirked as he hummed to himself.

Shaking my head I pulled out the potatoes I had peeled and boiled earlier and set to mashing them. Teddy always seemed to pick the days I was making a good-old fashioned lunch or dinner to ‘pop’ over and invite himself in. I didn’t really mind, seeing as he was a gentleman and always tried to help out with things that needed fixing.

He’d helped fix the roof last summer and even helped with prepping the garden back in spring so that I could actually start growing something. I’d done the work of planting, but getting the posts in the ground and the boxes in place? All Teddy’s handiwork.

“Would you please grab one of the Pie tins from the Pantry? And the smaller bag of flour too please!” Teddy may have been relaxing, but he was quick to react when I asked for something. Soon enough I’d had all the potatoes mashed and the pie tin waiting for me on the counter.

Teddy stretched and touched the ceiling with his fingertips as he sauntered into the living room. I blushed lightly, since his stretch had pulled his T-shirt from his jeans and exposed a part of his sculpted lower back. He was deliciously handsome and Fit, if only a hunk like him was interested in a flabby wench like myself. I sighed, dashing that thought from my mind.

No man in a rural area wanted a pre-started family, especially with the kind of baggage we brought to the table.

As I put together the Apple pie, the timer on the pot roast went off and I opened it up to check how it was doing. Teddy had turned on the Radio to one of the local rock stations. I tasted the stock from around the roast and cut into the meat, checking how soft it was. It was perfect.

The potatoes had been put in the oven with some garlic and butter sauce to cook a bit more and the pie was in the smaller oven browning to perfection. I was very satisfied with myself, in less than a year, I’d learned to cook some damn-fine meals. It didn’t hurt that a lot of the women around the area traded recipes all the time. Adding to that, quite a few of the farmers would barter meat and eggs for veggies and fruit too.

My contribution was that since I went into town so often, they would trade me staple goods for exotic things from town, or fetching packages from the post office for them when I was on my way home. I loved to bring home bulk items that I could then later trade for some fresh eggs or milk.

I pulled the Mashed potatoes from the Oven to cool on the rack and arranged the Pot roast and Its fixings on a plate. When I turned to start setting up the table, there was a knock at the door. It sounded almost urgent and I wiped my hands on a towel I kept on the oven handle.

Teddy heard the rapping on the door and had emerged from the Living room, brows knit together and frowning slightly. He stood behind me as I opened up the mudroom door and unlocked the outer door. Teddy’s arms were crossed and he leaned on the doorframe as the outer door opened to a harried looking Farmer from three houses down the road to the north.

“Fredrick, what’s wrong?” I was surprised, normally Fredrick wore a sort of soft half-smile. Like he was privy to a secret and was never going to tell anyone.

His pure white hair was sticking up on all directions and he had an almost wild look to his soft brown eyes. “It’s Gunter,” He croaked, and my body went cold. Ice seemed to shoot up my spine as my stomach tightened.

“W-what about Gunter?” I whispered, Fredrick ran his hand through his hair, making it even messier. Fredrick refused to look into my eyes, and instead stared at Teddy.

“Fredrick?” I was scared, and being ignored wasn’t helping. I looked to Teddy, who was frowning and looked almost murderous. It was chilling to see the fire in his eyes, as if he was going to break the first thing he touched.

“Teddy?” I was cautious, I had seen my Ex-husband with that look, and when I’d bothered him, He’d tried to break me to soothe his anger.

Unfortunately for him, I refused to break.

Teddy clutched at his shirt and took a deep breath, leaning his head back as his eyes closed. Just as rapidly, he stepped forward and I stepped back. I pushed myself against the wall in the mud room, trying to keep from aggravating Teddy. He shoved his feet in his boots and threw on his jacket.

“Teddy.” I breathed his name, my chest tight. His shoulders where stiff and he stood with both hands fisted at his sides.

“’Belle,” He started, voice rough with what sounded like fury, “I’ll try t’ be back ‘fore sundown.” He strode forward, Fredrick rushing to his own Deep green SUV. Teddy practically stomped up to his Red pickup and seemed to rip the door open. I’d followed them outside, where the snow was gently falling around us, almost surreal.

Once he’d gotten into the vehicle, I tapped on the glass of his driver’s window. He took a moment to breathe, then rolled it down to face me. His eyes seemed to blaze, sharper and brighter than before the green even more vibrant than before.

“What happened Teddy? Please tell me!” I begged, Gunter was my baby, He’d been a complete surprise to my-then-husband and I.

I’d been elated to prove the doctors wrong, as I’d been told I was infertile only a few months prior, but my husband had been furious. He hadn’t wanted a child at all. Not only had Gunter proven the doctors wrong about my fertility, but they proved them wrong about my ability to carry at all. I had carried him successfully until two weeks before my due date, the day my husband first started beating me.

It had been a shock to have the man I’d married hit me so hard. Sure, we’d argued a bit, but that was normal and we’d always found a common ground and made amends. Something about having a child drove my husband crazy and he’d finally snapped.

We’d been arguing about where we’d move to after he’d gotten his promotion. He wanted to move to the East coast, but I was adamant about moving to the Midwest. At the time we’d lived a bit between the two. I wanted to be closer to family, both his and mine, and He wanted to start living more ‘in-style’.

I’d refused to move with him to the East coast, and He hit me. I was so shocked that I had frozen on the floor where I landed and just stared at him.

It had taken me only a week to decide to leave him the first time.

We’d made up for it later and had struggled to cope, but in the end All I asked of him, was to leave us alone. I didn’t want his money, or his name, just the child we’d created together. He agreed and signed the paperwork that released me from the nightmare of being his Wife.

Teddy was tense, and I thought he was going to lash out at me for getting in his way. He moved his left arm quickly and I flinched back, anticipating a smack, but it never came. I had closed my eyes reflexively, but cracked them open to see Teddy with his arm held out, a strained look on his face and the green of his eyes pale again. He gripped the steering wheel with his right hand so hard that It creaked, and he gently held his left hand to my face.

“ ‘Belle, I will never, ever hurt you on purpose.”  He practically growled as his hands felt rough against my skin but he rubbed my cheek so gently, as If I was made of spun glass, just waiting to fall apart. Tears were welling from my eyes and I was on the verge of bawling, I just wanted to know what was happening to my son!

As if he heard my mental cry, he cupped my chin once more, and gently pulled me to look up into his eyes. The green had lit up once more, and seemed to search inside mine for something.

“I’m sorry ‘Belle.” He whispered, “I cain’t tell you what you want to know.” He took a deep breath, releasing my chin. He then leaned against the doorframe and propped himself out the window to kiss me.

His lips were softer than I’d imagined, and the rough feel of his stubble was almost delightful, making warmth spread down into my core. My hands reached up and I took a step forward wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him in deeper. He groaned against my mouth and reached out again with his left hand and mixing his fingers into my wavy blonde hair, his right keeping him steady In the window. I stood there like a statue, reveling in the feel of his warm mouth and dancing tounge.

Suddenly he parted from me, and groaned while shaking his head. I was blinking, still overwhelmed with everything and in complete disbelief. Teddy just kissed me.

“’’Belle, stay here. Please.” His eyes still blazed, but there was some gold creeping in, he looked almost feral. I nodded dumbly, not thinking at all.

“Don’t open the door after sunset, and do’n open it ‘till after Sunrise.” I was transfixed on Teddys’ face, as I nodded again, and I opened my mouth to question why, when he shook his head once and grimaced.

“I cain’t tell you darlin’, not yet.” His hands were shaking, and he finally put his truck into gear. I stepped back, finally realizing I’d been standing there longer than a few minutes and shivered.

“I’ll tell you what I can, when I can. Jus’ …sit tight, I’ll find yer boy and git him home safe. That’s a Promise!” He pulled out of the driveway and directed himself northward, to Fredrick’s farm. The Truck squealed in protest at changing gears so quickly, from reverse to drive and then being pushed to dive through the fresh snow at a high speed.

I stood there shivering until his truck faded from sight into the woods that surrounded my home. It was a few moments before I turned to go back inside, and by then the pie I’d been preparing was ruined, and I flipped the oven off. The pot roast was now dry and even the potatoes were cold.

So much for Dinner.

I was still in a state of shock, Gunter was God-knows-where in some sort of trouble, and Teddy had kissed me. Between the Elation of that kiss and the Fear of losing my only child, I was frozen. I stumbled into the living room, ignoring the food or the mess it caused in favor of hopefully making sense of what was going on.

I knew when I had moved in only two years ago, that this town was small and had its oddities. My folks had always told me to check the eaves for bats, make sure that there were no animal tracks around the house and to water the toadstools that circled the small house I lived in.

The bats and the tracks I could understand, but the mushrooms? I didn’t question my folks, and did as they said. Once or twice I found coyote tracks and raccoon tracks around the house and showed Gunter how to distinguish them from one another.

He was practically a natural at picking up practical knowledge like that. He even went so far as to have someone teach him to make plaster molds of the more interesting prints he found and asked to keep them on a shelf in his room. To this day he had well over a dozen tracks, some canine, a few feline, and a few deer tracks too.

I was still shivering.

I wasn’t cold anymore, but I couldn’t stop shivering. There was something my mother had told me before they’d suggested Gunter and I move out to live with them.

“There’s quite a few tall tales around this little town, most of them having to do with werewolves. I know it seems far-fetched, but these folks take those tales seriously.”

Werewolves, was Teddy insinuating that they were real? That Gunter had been caught up with them? Or did something terrible happen and no one wanted to be the bearer of Bad news? I had started scratching my arms in a nervous fit, only realizing I was doing so when I felt warm liquid running down the rest of my arm.

I’d scratched right through my skin, leaving me bleeding. I swore to myself,

“This isn’t getting me anywhere!” I stomped over to the bathroom and tended to my arm. Once that was finished, I still felt the need to be ‘doing’ something.

Teddy had been pretty adamant about me staying indoors once the Sun set. And a quick glace outside had me guessing that I had about an hour before I needed to close myself in for the night.

Quickly, I put on my thickest sweater and leggings, hoping that I could make it outside and back before the stipulated time. I rushed through the mud room and yanked on my knee-high boots a colorful scarf, and my parka jacket.

After thinking about it, I returned to the living room and reached up to the doorway where the Remington 700 was perched just for safety’s sake. I checked the barrel from the loading mechanism, and it looked all clear. Pausing by the closet nearest the door to the mudroom, I rifled through the jackets until I reached the back wall where the dial and handle was visible for the safe where I kept the ammunition.

A quick turn of the dial and the safe was open. I only took five bullets from the box and loaded them into the Rifle. After which I shut the safe and locked it back into place.

Slinging the rifle over my shoulder carefully, I headed out the front door.

I had checked the doors to the house and had locked both of them. The mud room was never locked, to shelter people from the cold or heat depending on the season. If Gunter came home and everything was locked, he wouldn’t be in danger staying in the mud room.

I turned to the Road in front of the house, took a deep breath, and stepped beyond the circle of dormant Toadstools around the house. It was going to take time, but If I walked, I was less likely to miss hearing screaming or shouts. I had started my trek facing North. Since that was where the men had run off to, that’s the most likely area that Gunter was.

I quickly realized, no matter how motivated I was, I was not physically ready to make this trek. I was breathing heavily, and sweating terribly. My knees and feet had already started to hurt, and when I glanced behind me, I couldn’t see my house anymore. The sun, however, was just touching the skyline. I was just getting close to the neighboring farmstead.

The Nylors home was ranch-style and honestly very pretty, if a bit more rustic than I liked. I trudged up the shoveled walkway and stopped to catch my breath before I attempted to knock on the door. Their Mud room was much larger, and much nicer than mine, but then again, they had a larger family and had also been living here much longer.

I finally found my breath and knocked on the house door after stomping out the snow from my boots. I heard some scuffling, and then heard a creak as someone stepped up to the door.

“Who ‘dere?” came the gruff voice of Pa Nylor, The Patriarch of the family. He was the oldest living person in the town and was also the only person who could handle any animal regardless of its temper.