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#im doing this bc im stupid and i usually forget to have note of every idea so
layraket · 1 year
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The creature of time!
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Aka Time, old wolf and wolf dad
Creature: Wolf
Type: predator
Position: The leader of the gang
Diet: mostly meat, can afford other things
-Always changes the story of his eye's scar
-Likes to keep the gang close
-Keeps some space on the preys and smallest ones until he gets permission
-Likes to stick with Twilight
-Always keeps an eye on Wild
-Carries the smallest ones on his back
-Loves his wife
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fanaticastrid · 1 year
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Alright... finally got to Meg... but the chapter might come out this weekend instead thanks to being busy. Grrr.
So maybe I'll spit out more ideas, since Tumblr is my new note wall. Not everything is final, but some might make it into the final draft hehe enjoy my brainstorming will happen again
-IMMA ABUSE LESTER. HE GETS WHUMP IN TDP HAHAHA, IM EXCITED FOR THAT oh and in WoNH too?? :0
-i really want to put in a scene somewhere where Lester just breaks down from stress and Apollo/Meg comforts him like FUCK this kid dude!!! he needs a break!!! He's scared, he doesn't quite get what's going on, raaaa!!
-Lester fights Commodus all I can post without more spoilers,,, but HOW do I MAKE that STUPID FIGHT IN THE STADIUM BETTER the idea for it rn is crummy... oh and how to make Leander here have that bi awakening and when bc I NEED THE BOY TO BE BI
-I actually really should be taking this a book at a time but forget it lmao. I also need to educate myself on stealth sequences for TLT... and for Shatterverse now that I think about it. Not an idea just me yelling at me as usual
-Lester punches every single emperor in the face and I am making this happen no matter what (insert markiplier punch meme here but it's lester)
-hey what if Apollo taught Lester ancient greek and latin??? can I do that??? just to be wholesome???
-angst angst w his family too bc I feel like it. Don't know how ill do it but I'll try
-One idea from the snippets I found showed that Lester actually knew both Piper and Percy, but due to his character being changed its just Percy now... tho I still want him to know one of other Seven if possible, maybe just Annabeth? Obviously it would barely be like acquaintances but still a neat idea
-An idea I adored from said snippets will also be returning. Can't say much except this: I got the idea originally from when I read my copy of the Illiad for the first time- Apollo of the Golden Sword. Trust me, it's not quite what you think. :>
-I've noticed a few errors in ToN, so I'll try to correct or explain them in TLT. One bugs me super badly. Oh, and that meeting with a cat and a severed head, Bast and Mimir? That will build into Mortal Hero, Lesterverse's second installment and the first actual story instead of a "rewrite." Of course, that's quite far down the line, but there's a LOT that happens in there.
-and finally, make Jason's death worse because protective boi. Again, no spoilerssss hehe
Just a reminder that my ask box is open! Feel free to make requests, ask about the AU (and Shatterverse! I'll be sharing about it eventually!) and whatever you please!
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atlabeth · 3 years
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fever - sokka x reader
this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it
this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want
summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.
a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf
also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??
wc: 1.7k
warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff
-
How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?
You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.
You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.
Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.
You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.
You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.
But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.
Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.
Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.
“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.
“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.
“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”
“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”
Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”
He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.
You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.
He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”
“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”
You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.
He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”
You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.
You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.
Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”
“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”
You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”
His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.
“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”
You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”
He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”
“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”
“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”
“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”
“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”
You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”
Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”
-
idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe
perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77
atla: @marianne1806
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hey stupid, i love you [MCYT: Dream x GN!Reader]
song: hey stupid I love you by jp saxe
warnings: fluff
im pretty sure i made this an gender neutral as possible but if there is an error lmk thanks bby :*
im in a simpin mood bby
as always, song lyrics in italics
i skipped a couple versus due to repetitiveness oops
this is the one i complained about losing, but it actually worked out bc i like this one better...less wordy
word count: ~2k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing's wrong, and it's not what I'm used to Oh, does it surprise you too? When it's simple, is it easier than it should be?
"Hey babe, are you okay? You've been quiet today," Dream practically pouted as he asked you. He loved the sound of your voice and while you definitely weren't giving him the quiet treatment, you sure weren't as talkative as you normally are.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just distracted thinking my thoughts." You smiled at him and leaned against him. He looked down at you and pecked your lips. You gave him a sweet kiss back. The smile he gave you made your heart boom. Loving him was as easy as eating a cake (because the usually analogy 'baking a cake' isn't true, its sometimes hard to bake a cake, especially when a hungry streamer keeps trying to eat the batter or start a flour fight).
"Anyway, don't you have a stream with the Dream Team to get ready for? One that starts in," you look at the clock on your phone, "three minutes ago?" The slight panic that crosses Dream's face makes you laugh loud. He gives you another kiss and in less than five seconds has practically launched himself across the house into his recording room. Your laughter follows him the whole way, a smile and blush upon his face.
Nothing's wrong, but when you're not in my arms I send voice notes, you send hearts And get quiet, and I know that means you miss me
Okay, granted, you were the one to remind him that he was streaming with his friends today and speedrunning, but you didn't expect it to last well over five hours. At the beginning you worked on your classwork for your [college degree of choice]. You got it done quickly, as it was nearing the end of the semester and most professors of yours were laidback and wanted you to study more than write nonsense papers (fictional you, i'm so jealous). Occasionally you would jump in fear when you heard Dream shout, still not used to it after years.
After finishing your classwork, you started cooking dinner. Soup was the vibe for the evening, and you had found a wonderful chicken and dumplings recipe a while ago that you wanted to try. You did have to go to the store for some of the ingredients, but luckily it only took you an hour. You can back and he was still streaming. It took about another hour for dinner to be done. You let it cool and prepared yourself a bowl. You set your laptop up and started watching Dream's stream. Hearing his voice made you miss him, so you pulled out your phone.
Going to the two of y'alls messages, you started making him a voice message.
"Hey baby, I made dinner, so don't play so long it gets cold. I love you! Kick the enderdragon's ass baby! Mwah."
You continued watching him stream, and he took a pause for a minute, his screen not moving from the create a new world screen and his mic muted. A couple seconds later you got spammed with every heart offered in the emoji index times what felt like a thousand.
He continued being quiet for a couple seconds, although he did unmute and continue playing, answering George's and Sapnap's questions of where he went with, "I had to take a message."
You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head
Chat sometimes upset you. Sure, you got Dream, all of him, but sometimes the comments made by some of the more obsessives fans were a bit to much.
'With the way he killed those mobs you know he's got good fingers'
'His voice is hot so he must be'
'Heyo dream baby lemme see them feet'
Okay the last one was more weird, and actually turned out to be a joke from Quackity but anyway moving on.
He was your guy, and he promised himself to you, but sometimes he seemed to have a genuine connection with some of the sweeter and not gross ones. It made you scared that someone, one day, will swoop him off his feet with a comment and he’d leave you for them. 
But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes, get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't
The stream ended a little under an hour later. Dream left his recording room, grabbed a bowl of soup, and found you in the living room, lost in thought. He plopped down right next to you. 
“Talk to me baby.”
“About what?”
“Anything and everything.”
“Okay.” You’re quiet for a bit, despite his offering of listening. He knew you were gonna take him up on the offer, you just needed a bit of time, so he was going to wait patiently. He finished his soup quickly, he was much hungrier than he thought. He put the bowl on the coffee table and before he was all the way leaned back on the couch, you were leaning against him. His arms wrapped around you, your head was tucked in between his head and shoulder, and a blanket covered the both of you. You looked towards the blank tv screen but felt his eyes on you.
“I love you a lot. And I know you love me too, but I’m afraid I’m not enough. You have so many options, especially with your popularity online. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me, whether it be for someone else or just because you’re tired of me.” Dream waits for you to stop entirely, with you breathing heavily.
“Well, you’re right about one thing. I do love you, a lot. The rest of it is wrong and I’ll spend the rest of time telling you so.” Dream says, pressing several kisses against your forehead. 
“Yeah I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but my anxiety gets the best of me. It’s stupid, I’m stupid.”
“First of all, you’re not stupid. Second, hey stupid, I love you.”
Nothing's wrong, I just get in my head too Can you reassure me you, you're still in it? I just wish you could lean in and kiss me
As much as Dream loved you and reassured you, sometimes he would get caught up in his thoughts too. The life of a streamer/youtuber, especially one with as much fame and subscribers as him, was rough. The constant need to feed his fans with entertainment and content, and the need for the content to satisfy his fans was stressful. He hates to admit it, but he some days he spent to much time working and not enough with you. He thinks you would be so much happier with someone without a tight schedule and without a large, intense fanbase. Any random person on the street would be better for you than him, he thinks. 
When he gets into this headspace, the only thing that grounds him is your lips on his. When you kiss him, the clouds go away and all he can see is your eyes, as bright as the sun, and your smile, which can tempt even the purest. 
Say nothing's wrong, tell me to settle down You do it better than I've ever known how Won't pull some tricks for attention But could I get a little now?
Now, everyone knows that Dream likes some attention. He especially likes attention from you. Good thing is you also like attention, especially from him. The not so good thing is both of y’all get distracted so bad, it’s almost too funny.
He tends to get your attention by tickling you, whether it be in the comfort of your home or in public. One day, when you guys were walking through town, you stopped at a flower booth and got to talking with the friendly and flirty florist gentleman. It had been a couple minutes, and Dream was really needing some love, but you continued chatting with the florist who was definitely going to ask for your number but you genuinely thought he was just being nice. Dream crept up behind you and placed his hands on your side. You froze for a moment and looked at him, confused. The smirk that crossed his face barely gave you a second to prepare as he tickled your sides. Your laughter filled the street as you turned around as he tickled you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, which got him to stop ticking you, and gave him a kiss. The two of you continued on your way, attached at the hip.
And one day, when you wanted his attention, it was after he was done recording a manhunt with his friends. The actual video had been done for a bit, but they were just fucking around in the minecraft world and talking to each other. You had had a not so nice day, and wanted the crushing weight of your boyfriend on top of you. You crept into his recording room and came to stand right behind his chair. Based on the conversation you could tell he wasn’t recording anymore, so you knew it was safe. Your hands started in his hair, trailed down to his face, and slid down his body till your arms were wrapped around him snuggly. Your head was placed on top of his. 
“What are you doing?” he asked, and received no response. Instead, you began aggressively shaking him and the chair, turning it this way and that, making him slightly dizzy. His laughter filled the room, and he quickly ended the call. The two of you spent the next 12 hours cuddled in bed, leaving only for the necessities. 
You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head
Dream got jealous as well sometimes. You were beautiful and a lot of the time attracted the attention of random passerbyers. Those people, who you don’t even know, who lived normal lives where they didn’t have to spend every second worried that their face will be revealed to the public and suddenly all their fans from around the world will know what they look like or the general area in which they live, who don’t have to obey algorithms and bend to the will of the masses to make sure they get paid enough to live, who could give you a normal and safe life. Every time one looked at you with some attraction, he pulled you a bit closer and kissed you a bit harder. 
But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes or get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't
Sometimes, Dream needed to rant. A long, hard, intense, rant. Sometimes it was about how someone accused him of cheating his speedruns. Sometimes it was about how someone said something nasty to him or one of his friends. Sometimes it was about a comment someone made about him or you that got on his nerves. When he needed to talk, you sat there and you listened. You did whatever he needed to get better, whether it was just listen or talk to find solutions. You did it because you know he would do the same for you. And afterwards, a cuddle session was a must. 
How could you forget? I told you seventeen times before 7 AM I love you How could you forget? I told you seventeen times
The morning after rough days were one of the bests. Arms tangled together, legs tangled together, everything tangled together, no one able to tell where one started and the other ended. Lazy kisses pressed to faces, hands, necks, any part of skin the lips could touch. One particular morning you woke up earlier than he did. A quick kiss against his cheek woke him up, and he gave you the most love filled smile any man could do.
“Hey stupid,” you said, “I love you.”
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thatsshowbizbby · 3 years
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ishq sufiyana
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pairing: steve rogers x desi!reader
summary: your weapon of choice is a blade. his is a shield. both were made to clash with one another.
warnings: mention of blood and violence (slight). tension, angsty-ish? the wrath and the dawn, arranged marriage vibes. enemies to lovers-ish.
author's note: this is my first thing lol pls be nice. this isn't a full story but just an idea i had in my head. i believe this is called a headcannon (?) also my second time posting bc tumblr drafts/editing is killing my vibe
you are royalty - raised in a palace made of white marble, and clear, blue waters all around - handcrafted clothing and magnificent jewels at your disposal.
and your beauty. talk of your beauty attracts suitors from the farthest ends of the earth, coming to prove whether that talk is just mere gossip.
it’s not.
but that's not what got steve's attention when he first laid his eyes on you. it was the sword in your hand. a talwar.
your movement mimicked the flow of the water surrounding your palace - a fight style disguised as delicate. but to the trained eye, steve's eyes, it was anything but. it was dangerous. you were dangerous.
and you made sure to let steve know that you were far from a damsel in distress, waiting stupidly for her knight in shining armor.
"i don't know you, nor do i care for you. as far as im concerned, you're just another candidate waiting for my rejection. and trust me, it's coming soon but i'll let you enjoy your time here for a couple more weeks.”
steve scoffs because of course you would have an attitude. you were a spoiled princess. a beautiful, fierce one whom he was beginning to respect, but he would never admit that to you. not anymore. your arrogance trumped your beauty.
"oh sweetheart, what makes you think i want you at all?"
you two continue to bicker and roll your eyes at each other and make snarky remarks when crossing paths inside the palace walls for the remainder of steve’s visit.
“what’s wrong, princess? too scared to go up against me?” he would tease, sitting in on your sparring practices.
“believe me, rogers. you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if i were up against you.”
so when your father offers your hand to the nuisance a few days prior to his departure, you’re dumbfounded.
“beta, you two will get along. trust me.”
“i will only agree if he can defeat me.” you both knew full well that no one has ever been able to.
with that, you and steve prepare for a fight. you with your sword and dagger. him with his shield. how pathetic.
you got a few good hits in, starting off strong - cutting through his suit, hitting him in the face with the hilt of your sword, blocking his punches - he really only chose a shield? out of the entire palace armory, he chose his stupid, little shield.
but all that inner shit-talk came to a full stop when he disarmed you in one swift motion. your sword was on the floor, as were you, with your hidden dagger pressed against your throat and steve on top of you. how did he find that?
his breath fanned over your face. “always know your enemy, princess.”
___________________________
as you sat in your chambers, heart racing for the wedding tomorrow morning, you looked over your mehndi (henna). it had gotten so dark.
“deeper the color becomes, deeper the love. and your groom’s love for you must be competing with the darkest parts of the ocean,” one of your ladies said to you.
yeah right.
you pull yourself out of your thoughts and make your way to the room of your unenthusiastic betrothed. you’re careful to not be seen by any palace guards or maids. visiting your soon-to-be-husband in the middle of the night? the rumors would spread like wildfire.
you knock on the door and hear a “come in.”
steve turns around in nothing but a pair of sleepwear bottoms. oh boy. at this point, you’ve become extremely aware of your own appearance. long brown hair flowing freely, a smaller nath (nose ring) than your usual daytime wear, an almost sheer nightgown, and small shawl that barely covered your upper body. steve’s breath hitches in his throat from across the room.
you look at the cuts and bruises healing from your spar a few days ago. but the satisfaction of those memories, of the times you got him, were interrupted by the sight of a much darker bruise running along his broad shoulder. then you see his face. more bruises. more cuts. and bowl of water and rag in his hand.
“what happened?” you rush over, concern overcoming you.
“nothing, nothing. don’t worry about it,” he tries to brush off, but you’re not having it. you grab his chin and direct his face towards your own to get a good look. busted lip, busted jaw, swollen cheek. full lips. chiseled face. gorgeous blue ey- snap out of it.
“well if you’re going to look like this for tomorrow morning, i’d like to know what the hell happened.”
“there was a boy running from a couple of bandits in the market. i saw and helped him. the bandits didn’t like that,” he laughs, “it was ten against one.”
“and you got out with only a few scratches here and there? you’d think the damage would be worse,” you say, trying to hide your respect and admiration.
“yeah, you’d think.” there were those eyes again, this time burning into your own.
you take the rag from his hand. “sit,” gesturing to the embroidered armchair.
you soak the piece of cloth in the bowl of water, wring it out, and begin to clean the wounds on his face. he winces when you get to his jaw.
“sorry.”
trying to get a better angle, you step in between his open legs and take a seat on his thigh. gently holding his face, so gentle he could barely feel it, you wipe away the dried blood.
steve’s eyes rake over your face. the talk was not mere gossip. beautiful.
he was so immersed in his thoughts of you that he did not notice you were done. but still sitting on his lap. his face in your hands. it was your turn to stare intently at him.
your noses almost touching, as you instinctively run your hand through his hair. he sighs in content and relaxes into your touch. you feel your heart skip a bit at the response.
“try not to take another beating while you’re here, rogers. or better yet, why don’t you learn a few tricks? your swordsmanship could be better” you joke, as you get up and walk away.
but he grabs your hand, getting up from the armchair, and slightly pulls you towards him.
“i recall winning every fight i’ve been in. or did you already forget how we got here in the first place?” his eyes held a playful look, as if letting you know that he was not challenging you this time. he was merely….joking, alongside with you.
a smile tugs at your lips as you pull your hand away. “yes, well you still need to work on your swordsmanship.”
“only if you’ll teach me, princess.”
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somecunttookmyurl · 3 years
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If It is okay to ask, how to tell when a kid is adhd or just being a kid? Looking back I can see a few signs like constant daydreaming, restlesness fidgeting etc but that wasnt much different from the other kids. As a teenager it became more clear I think because most of girls my age were not behaving like tomboys anymore and the symptoms mentioned above did not go away plus i think I had/have rsd. But only now as an adult i feel like these things are actually getting on the way. I daydream a lot, the restfulness didn't go anywhere, rsd still anoying as fuck (i think this is related with being a people pleaser? I got that too) and i notice more and more this horrible thing you usually call executive dysfunction. I cant really get a diagnosis and while I relate to a lot of symptoms and posts adhd people share, I'm really scared Im just procrastinating and trying to use adhd as an excuse for not getting things done. And I feel really bad about that. So back to my original question, if the signs were there since childhood but did not trouble me until like 4 years ago, how can i tell If It was adhd or Just kid stuff?
i mean the fact it didn't go away is a pretty good tell, honestly.
redmore to save the dash
as an adhd kid you may, with other children
-had difficulty making/keeping friends or socialising and felt "weird" or "different"
-were not invited to parties, made excuses to not go, or acted inapproptiately when there (and were never invited back)
-easily gave in to peer pressure from a desire to "fit in"
-were probably called "gullible"
-found it difficult to "wait your turn" in any activity
-frequently picked last for games and team sports
-found it difficult to "share" things with others
-caused fights/arguments with siblings/other children over trivial things
-may have been called "spiteful" or "vindictive"
-not realised when you were "taking things too far" with joke or play
-tried to annoy people on purpose
_________________________________
as an ADHD child in school you may
-consistently not done school/homework until the last minute. not by choice, but because you could never seem to "just get started on it" until it was immediately pressing
-not known where to start with longer-term projects / never really "got" how to study or revise for exams. could not organise notes.
-made careless mistakes in schoolwork
-had report cards littered with "intelligent but could try harder" "needs to apply themselves" "has potential but lazy" etc
-parents/teachers said you had an "attitude" / you had a tendency to "talk back"
-often seemed to forget things you had already learned until you were reminded of them, or had difficultly linking knowledge together
-doodled a lot in class, and found doing so made it easier to listen
-easily distracted by external stimuli ie things happening outside the classroom window, or a conversation in the next room
________________________________
as an ADHD child at home you may
-had trouble getting up in the mornings (your parents had trouble dragging you up, and you felt groggy/sleepy "just 5 more minutes")
-had issues going to bed. did not seem "tired" at bedtime. stayed up late reading frequently. refused to get ready for bed.
-always been rushed to get ready for things
-being forgetful or "a ditz"
-being called "lazy"
-forgetful with daily activities such as brushing your teeth and would need to be reminded
-found it hard if not impossible to keep your room clean and organised. not "knowing where to start" with it
-walking past things without seeing them. eg my parents would leave my laundry on the stairs to take up and then berate me because "you've walked past it six times today". not really seeing mess in general bc it became "background noise"
-not following through on instructions/not finishing what you were asked to do. like doing half of the dishes
-you were over-sensitive to criticism
-would often lie to get out of obligations, maybe even compulsively (ie you couldn't help it)
-you answer to "why did you do/say x" or "why didnt you do x" was frequently "i don't know" and you genuinely didn't know
-liked to do things the same way every time and got upset if the structure or plan changed
-would become frustrated if your demands were not immediately met. could not "wait until later"
-somebody would ask you to do something and you wouldn't do it for several hours, without realising it had been that long
_________________________________________
as an ADHD child in your leisure time / emotionans you may
-people saying "are you even listening to me?" a lot
-talking excessively, being "a chatterbox"
-despite being a "chatterbox" around familiar people, you were very shy/withdrawn around others. your two modes are "verbal diarrhea" and "mute"
-answering questions before the person even finished asking, interrupting others a lot
-you had a lot of interests but didn't keep up with any of them for very long
-were "emotional" or "overdramatic" ie crying or getting angry easily
-identified as a "perfectionist" and would either hyperfocus on unimportant details, or gave up on new pursuits you were not "immediately good" at
-people said you have a "selective memory" because you can eg name all 151 pokemon in order but not remember to pick up milk on the way home
-your moods seemed to change quickly and drastically
-had difficulty "behaving yourself" in public ie when out shopping
-broke/smashed things when angry
-got injured by doing reckless/stupid things
-complained of "being bored" often
-watched TV or played video games excessively and could lose hours at a time without noticing
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thoi2020 · 3 years
Note
u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????
hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?
pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).
revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.
analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).
make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 
practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.
for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:
stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.
ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 
now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.
and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.
also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.
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etherealino · 4 years
Text
kisses, lmh
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‣ synopsis: time passes by, his kisses evolve and so does your relationship with him.
‣ genre:  college au, fluff, angst (if you squint)
‣ warning(s):  swearing, guy tryna force reader to like him (more like they fight actually), reader gets in a fight but i didn’t really described it lmao. shshshs im sorryyyy
‣ word count: 8k+
‣ note: this is unproofread!! please, i said to myself i was not going to post another minho fic for a whole ass month or so but i was feeling it and this is the only thing i could write for. also, this is like the softest fic i’ve ever written. also, if you’re confused with reader’s course,, that’s fine bcs me too but somewhere in the music field lmao i honestly wrote this in a very unorganized way, sigh
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one. – accidental kiss
hwang: y/n, where are you??
you: main gate, why?
hwang: the professor’s looking for you! didn’t you promise him last semester you wouldn’t be late anymore?
Oh, shit. You sigh. Honestly? The only reason why you made that promise was because you thought he wouldn’t be your professor anymore this semester. And seriously, it’s the first day of the second semester, who would have a class right away? Right, your torturous of a professor.
You ran, not minding anything but to get into class right away. You wanted to just flip everything over right in front of your professor. You can rant and rant about his shitty attitude, his large ass nose for being nosy about everything, his love for humiliating his students right in front of the whole entire class. You can rant about how you wanted to kick his shin, throw him across the river, slap him with the 1000 word handwritten essay paper right in front of the whole class. But you know it in yourself, you won’t. You have to forget how much of a war freak you are because you need to pass his class.
Pent up frustration being in your mind, you finally stepped on your building turning to the corner to the stairs only to bump into something. Or rather, someone. You felt something soft and gentle against your lips when you bumped into that person and you sigh, bending down to pick the person’s book up.
The person didn’t move an inch, still standing in his position where you bumped into. Weird. usually, a person would bend down, too, to pick their book up. You stood up, looking up to see someone gorgeous. Lee Minho. Ever since you entered the university, you had this huge crush on him and you won’t even deny it if someone asks you.
The sun rays that entered through the transparent window enlightened his brown hazelnut eyes and highlighted his features. But why is his hand over his lips?
Oh, shit.
You put a hand over your own lips. Shit. You accidentally kissed Lee Minho.
Not being able to say anything, you ran off going to your class.
Minho stood still, his eyes wide as you ran off. he shared a conversation or two with you from the past years being in the university, but you two never really became close. Whenever there are times that there are close opportunities the two of you would be left alone and when he’s about to strike up a conversation, a block mate of yours would come and get you needing you for something.
Minho runs his hand through his face and up to his hair as he looks around, hoping no one sees how red his cheeks are currently. He starts to walk and in the middle of his small journey to his class, then he stops as he suddenly realized something. He looks back to where the incident happened.
Shit. You have his book.
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two. – kiss on the hand
After that very humiliating incident that happened, you would always avoid Minho everytime you see him ahead of you. As for the book, you asked Hyunjin to return Minho’s book. Of course, Hyunjin being a teasing friend would ask. “Why do you have his book?”
You blinked, stammering. “W-What?”
“I said, why do you have his book?” Hyunjin asks with a teasing smile on his face. You wanted to slap it off.
“I saw it on the ground and it has his name on it.” You said with a shrug. Hyunjin smirks and you really want to slap him. He doesn’t even know about your crush on Minho and he’s here making you flustered about Minho.
“Where?” Hyunjin asks.
“What?”
“Where is his name?” Hyunjin asks and you looked at the book. It has no name on it. But you were too embarrassed about your encounter with Minho.
“Look, I saw him drop it and when I picked it up he was already gone. I don’t even know why I said I saw his name there.” You said and shoved the book on Hyunjin’s hands. You look behind Hyunjin when you see Minho coming your way. Shit, he looks so good. Black jeans, white shirt, a denim jacket and his backpack slung on one shoulder as he walks and most likely, Minho would speak to Hyunjin since they’re very close friends. And most likely, you would get all bashful around him.
“I’m gonna get going,” you say, turning around, but Hyunjin grabs your arm.
“Hey, we have the same class, remember?” Hyunjin says. “Let’s go together, chill. We won’t go late.” You bit your lip, thinking of something stupid to get away from him. Then, you looked up.
“You see that, Jin?” You ask, pointing at the ceiling as a way to distract the tall boy.
“What?” Hyunjin asks as his grip loosens, his head tilting up to look where you pointed. You pull your hand off and ran away from your friend. Hyunjin’s eyes widen, following your every move as you push your way past through the crowd, clumsily bumping into someone occasionally.
“Hey,” Hyunjin hears as a pat on his shoulder was placed. Minho smiles at him, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he looks at Hyunjin.
“Hey,” Hyunjin smiles and his eyes land on the book he’s holding. “Is this yours?”
Minho looks at the book and sees that it was the book you took with you when the embarrassing encounter happened. “Yeah, how’d you got it?” Minho asks as he takes the book.
“Y/N saw you dropped it and she asked me to give it to you,” Hyunjin explains and Minho’s hand comes up at the back of his neck.
“R-Really?” Minho says.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin said. “You took up literature, right?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Kim.” Minho answers and Hyunjin smiles widely.
“Great, we’re having the same class.” Hyunjin says and Minho grins. Hyunjin decides that it was time for them to go now so they wouldn’t be late for the class. Hyunjin and Minho walk together, talking about the most random things the boys could think about. When they arrived at the lecture hall, Hyunjin immediately spots you sat on the back at the very corner on the window.
Hyunjin comes to you, taking the seat beside you as Minho follows him. Minho sees you and his first instinct was to look away. “Hey, Y/N,” Hyunjin says. “Why were you rushing earlier?”
“B-Because I feel like it.” You dumbly answer and Minho chuckles to himself quietly, knowing that you probably saw him coming ahead and that you were just as embarrassed as he was.
“Guess what?” Hyunjin asked.
“What?”
“Minho’s in the class, too!”
ring.
You looked down to your phone, seeing Jisung called. thank, God. “Look, Jisung called.” you said and you stood up from your seat, taking your phone with you as you exit the classroom and answered Jisung’s call.
Minho sighs in relief, still not ready to face you after the embarrassing happening.
When the professor enters the class, so did you. You put your phone to silent and started to pay attention to the professor in front.
“I want you guys to act out Romeo and Juliet by pair,” your professor started after the greeting. “Each pair would act out each scene. This class is for two hours, right? One hour for practice and the other half for presentation. Are we clear?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay, for the pairs,” Mrs. Kim started to announce and you weren’t paying attention, really. until your last name was called. “Y/L/N and Lee, act 1 scene 5.”
What? No, no, no, no, no. Lee? As in Lee Minho?
“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Mrs. Kim says. “There are two Lee’s in the class.”
Please, be Felix. Please, please, be Felix. You silently prayed, hands clutching against each other underneath your desk. You’d do anything—everything, just not do a project with Lee Minho, a guy you accidentally kissed and to make it even worse, on the lips. Although, wow, his lips were soft and gentle. Even if you didn’t realize it at first, his lips are soft. But it was—
“Y/L/N with Lee Minho.”
No! You look at your partner who was just a sit apart from you. He looks.. unaffected. Maybe you should be, too? I mean, it’s already been a week since it happened. But no, it was too embarrassing. Not only did you kiss the guy’s lips, but you also brought his book with you by accident. You bit your lip, holding everything in your power to not slam your head against your desk.
“Okay, go to your partners.” The professor announced. You sighed, standing up. You look to where Minho is, but he was already right in front of you.
Minho cleared his throat, his cheeks growing pinkish red. “H-Hi,” he mumbled as he stuttered all over and you wave, your cheeks growing red, too, knowing that if you speak, you will most likely embarrass yourself again. “You know what act 1 scene 5 is?” He asks. As time passed by, things got less awkward, the incident went at the back of your mind, not touching it anymore. By the time the teacher announced that it was time for the presentation, You and Minho were beyond ready.
“Your hand is like a holy place that my hand is unworthy to visit. If you’re offended by the touch of my hand, my two lips are standing here like blushing pilgrims, ready to make things better with a kiss.” Minho said with so much sincerity, goosebumps rising in your skin, feeling yourself freeze as you look at him in the eyes. He stared back as you felt yourself get lost into the galaxy of his eyes. It was then you realized, Lee Minho was more than just a college student who loves dancing. Yes, you had a crush on him since you first saw him, but it was only then you realized that maybe you always want to get lost in those galaxies in his eyes. Lee Minho is a happy person, a teasing one, they say. But when he gets to work, classes or dancing, he gets so passionate. Then suddenly, Minho takes your hand in his, giving the back of your palm a gentle kiss. You just hope Minho couldn’t feel your heart beating so fast.
But you didn’t know, Minho was feeling the same way as you are.
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three. – kiss on the cheek
After the Romeo and Juliet presentation, Minho would always come with you and Hyunjin. Things got less awkward, no one brought up what happened the first day. It was lunchtime when you and the two boys met up from different classes. “I want to throw myself on the river, who wants to join?” You ask when you sit beside Hyunjin on the table. Minho and Hyunjin chuckled, smiling at you.
“What happened?” Minho asked.
“It’s just plainly tiring,” you answered, folding your arms on the table and resting your chin on your forearms as you pouted. Hyunjin rubs your back gently and you close your eyes.
“Hey, eat something,” Hyunjin said and you sigh.
“I’m fine, I’m free for the rest of the day anyway.” You said as you closed your eyes. Your phone rang and you stayed in your position, not moving one bit. Minho and Hyunjin know that you would most likely pick it up by the last ring. But no, the last ring came and you didn’t pick it up.
Hyunjin chuckles, fixing his things as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I have to go,” Hyunjin says and you open your eyes, smiling at him. You pressed a finger to your lips and pressed it against Hyunjin’s cheek. Everyone who is close to you know that you have a habit on kissing them on the cheek whenever they would see you or go off. Hyunjin chuckles and runs a hand through your hair. “Bye, guys.”
“Bye,” you and minho said as Hyunjin walks off. Your phone rings again and this time you finally answer.
“Y/N, where are you?” Jisung asks through the phone and you could feel his pout.
“Cafeteria, why? Classes just finished.” You said as you looked around the cafeteria, thinking Jisung was probably around already. But instead, you hear Jisung huff.
“You said you’re gonna help me with the new track.” Jisung whined and your eyes widen. You totally forgot that you promised Jisung to help him.
“Oh, no. Jisung, I’m sorry. I’m on my way. Classes just finished and it was tiring.” You said with a pout. “I’ll bring something to eat, do you want anything?”
“Oh, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d make you feel bad. I’m in my dorm, anything would be great though.” Jisung answers.
“Okay, Ji. I’ll be there soon, don’t worry. I’m so sorry.” You said.
“No! It’s okay, take your time. Bye.”
“See you.” You said and hang up, pouting. You sighed. standing up as you looked at Minho who was smiling at you. “Will you be okay being alone for now?” You asked and Minho nodded.
“Don’t worry, I can crash in my dorm. I don’t have class anymore, anyway.” Minho says and you pouted.
“I’m sorry, it’s just I promised Jisung a long time ago and—“
“Y/N,” Minho cuts you off with a giggle. “I can handle myself. Stop beating yourself up for it, okay?”
You sighed, nodding. You leant, forward, bending lightly to kiss his cheek. “Bye, Min.” You said as you ruffled his hair, walking off to Jisung’s dorm. Minho’s eyes followed you, heart pounding against his chest. He thought your friendship wasn’t on the level yet. Minho smiled. It was nice to kissed on the cheek by you once in awhile.
As for you, you were a blushing mess. It was the first time you did that and you probably got carried away. Ugh, you just wanted to press your lips against his lips and now, you got to kiss his cheek. You were just lucky you got to.
You entered Jisung’s dorm with a wide smile on your face, looking like a little girl that was given a lollipop by the doctor. “What’s that smile?” Jisung asks in a teasing manner and you shook your head, trying to suppress your lips. Jisung laughs as he pulls a chair beside him.
“Where’s the food?” Jisung asks and you make your way towards him.
“The what now?” You mumbled and Jisung raises an eyebrow.
“The food..?” Jisung says and you brush a hand through your hair, realizing you forgot that you haven’t had lunch yet and you were supposed to bring food.
You’re so hung up on Lee Minho, geez.
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four. – kiss on the eyelid
The stress was finally getting into you. You hated it. Everyone hates it. But why does everyone have to dump everything to you? You’ve finally had enough of it; you were tired of being kind to everyone else and they don’t even do anything in return. A thank you would have sufficed, but no, they just got to be selfish. Did they even think that you need some time for yourself, too?
“Hey, Y/N,” you heard behind you, but you only lowered your head. Please, can someone just ignore you? You’re on the verge of letting your tears go and someone is still wanting to talk to you. You heard the person’s footsteps get nearer and nearer until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, wiping the tears off. But the tears didn’t stop, it just continued to fall. “Y/N?”
Soon, you felt the hand turning you around and you looked away in hopes that they would not notice your tears. They grabbed you by your cheeks and softly, they turned your head towards them. Minho. “What happened?” He softly asks and you shook your head, your eyes avoiding his. Minho only pulled you in a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, crying your frustrations out. After a few minutes, you pulled away.
“Can you keep me company?” You ask him softly, almost mumbling and Minho does nothing but nod. You felt Minho gently dragging you somewhere, holding your hand tightly but still, you could feel the gentleness that he holds. Soon, you see that Minho has brought you to the rooftop. Minho places you in front of him and he could only watch you as you softly sob, wiping your tears with the back of your hands like a little girl.
Minho pulls your hands off your face and the tears still kept on streaming. You looked up at Minho with your red puffy eyes and he only sighs, feeling his heart shake as if it was going to shatter anytime soon at the sight. Minho wraps your arms around his waist and you comply, holding onto him as if your life depended on it—as if Minho was the only one who can hold you into pieces as you break. And at the looks of it, Minho really is the only one who can save you.
Minho cups your cheeks gently, thumbs wiping your cheeks but the tears still continued on streaming down your face. The sun was setting, the orange glow hit your face. You were so beautiful in Minho’s eyes even if you’re so broken as of now. Minho chuckles shakily, feeling his heart grow heavier as time pass by. “Hey,” he mumbles as he wipes your tears off. “Stop crying now, you look so ugly, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Minho teases lightly, trying to lighten up the mood but you don’t stop. You only closed your eyes, shaking your head as a way to get your tears to stop. Then, you softly chuckle through the tears, lips pressing into a think line as you breathe in shakily.
Minho tilts your head, eyes closing as he places a soft delicate kiss on your eyelid. He doesn’t pull away, staying at that position for as long he feels he needs to. It was just a soft kiss, but it meant everything to you. It was Minho’s way of silently saying that he will always be with you, through your sunny, cloudy and stormy days. Always.
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five. – kiss on the forehead
“Minho!” You excitedly call as you see him ahead of the hallway. The said boy turns to you, a smile coming up to his face as he sees you. You run to him, tackling him in a hug. Minho stumbles a bit backwards, but he still wraps his arms around your waist.
“Y/N, we’ve seen each other an hour ago. Did you really miss me that much?” Minho says in a teasing manner and you lightly slap his chest. You pull away, holding him at arm length.
“Minho.” You say with so much enthusiast making Minho’s heart skip a beat at how cute you are.
“Y/N.” Minho mimics and you giggle.
“Guess what?” You asked and Minho looks up, an eyebrow raised with a small smile on his lips as if he was thinking.
“Um, you’re exempted for exams?” Minho asks and you scoffed, but the smile never left your lips.
“I wish!” You said and shook you head. "I got offered for an internship for a month to work in their studio.” You said excitingly and Minho’s eyes widen. Then, slowly, a smile comes up in Minho’s face.
“Really?” Minho asks and you nod. “Where?”
“JYPE.” You said and Minho lets out a breathy laugh, grabbing your arms as he pulled you in his chest. He hugs you tightly to the point you couldn’t even hug back anymore. “Minho.. can’t.. breathe.” Minho pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he smiles widely.
“See, I told you! Something great was along the way.” Minho says and you smile, wrapping your arms around his waist. You sigh jokingly, followed by rolling your eyes.
“Okay, fine. You’re always right.” You said and Minho giggles, tilting your head lightly to kiss your forehead. A short kiss, but it felt like it was everything. Minho was the first to know, you just have this inkling feeling that Minho should be the first to know since he was always there for you. Minho suddenly turned from being the guy you’re embarrassed to face to the one you trusted the most. “Thank you for always being there, Min.”
“Always.”
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six. – kiss on the temple
You frown as you seated yourself on the usual table you and Minho would sit. You’re stubborn, everyone knows that. But you may kind of know and finally admitted to yourself that the fight between you and Minho had was actually your fault. Okay, but in your defense you were shit tired, stressed and close to having a breakdown… which is why Minho gently asked you to take a break and rest for a bit, which caused you to pick a fight with him and shout at him for being annoying when he was just being nice enough to look after you.
You sighed, placing your hands on your hair as you ruffled your hair. You look at the table, pouting as you finally admitted that it’s your fault and maybe you should reach out first… not the other way around. You were stubborn.
But what you didn’t know was Minho was trying to reach out as well, but he kept convincing himself that it was your fault and you should be first. But then again, it was not you, it was the stress and sleep deprivation that yelled at him. But no, you should be the first.
You stood up from your seat, going to the locker hall, knowing Minho was there at this time to fix his things to get ready for his next lesson. When you arrived, you immediately spotted Minho’s head and walked your way to him. But you were quickly pulled back when you reached midway. You looked at the culprit who pulled you to see the guy in your batch, Myung. You sighed heavily, “What, Myung? I have to go.” You gritted, letting him know that you were annoyed as of the very moment, but he only smirked. He was honestly a jerk; he once confessed to you that he likes you by telling you to be his girlfriend, but of course, you don’t accept. He thought he was being cool, but no, never.
“We never talk anymore, darling.” He said with a cocky smile.
“I’m busy.” You said as you tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. “Myung, what the hell?” You said as you tried to pull away. You always knew how to stand up for yourself and this is not going to be an exception.
“Come on, Y/N. One date.” He says and you glare at him, eyes full of hatred for him.
“No.” You firmly said.
“Come on, just one date. That’s all I ask for.”
“Ask?” You scoffed. “More like force.”
“You don’t want—“
“She said no, didn’t she?” Minho’s voice boomed through the hall and it was when you realized everyone’s eyes were on you and Myung. Minho came forward, grabbing Myung’s wrist to pull his grip off of you, swatting it away. Minho grabbed your wrist, pulling you behind him. Minho’s thumb massaged your wrist as he glared at Myung. Minho’s touch was the opposite of Myung. Minho was much gentle like I always say. Even when he clutches his hand into yours, there’s still a drop of gentleness that let’s you know the person who’s holding you is Lee Minho.
“Why do you care? It’s not like she’s your girlfriend.” Myung spatted.
“And that’s none of your business. Learn how to respect women, you sick bastard.” Minho spats and your free hand shoots out to grab his other hand, signaling him to calm down. You felt it, Minho is about to jump and throw a fist, but when he felt you hold him, he visibly relaxes, calming his nerves down for you. “Never come near her.”
Minho leaves, pulling you with him as he brought you far from there, to a corner where not everyone could see. Minho frowns, anger fading as he looked at you. What would he do if he wasn’t there? Big luck, he was. “Are you okay? Did he do anything? Did he hurt you?” Minho asks and you shook your head, pulling him in an embrace, arms around his shoulders. Minho sighs, wrapping his own arms around your waist.
“I’m sorry.” You said. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you and be a bitch. It will never happen again, I promise.”
Minho tightens his hold on you, letting you know that he has forgiven you. He turns his head to the side, lips reaching for your temple as he kisses you. “It’s okay.” Minho mumbles, pulling away as his hands place themselves on your shoulders, holding you at arm-length. “You sure he didn’t do anything?”
“I promise, Minho.” You said. “Besides, he knows better than have the whole university watch him be the sick bastard that he is.” Minho sighs, nodding as he places a kiss on your temple once again. “I missed you.”
You did. You really did. Minho was the only one who could get you through your darkest days. He promised you, even on the sunny days. But it was proven that your true darkest days were the days that Minho isn’t beside you. And you’re never gonna let that happen again even if it was just a fight.
“I missed you, too.” Minho breathed, embracing you as he attaches his lips against your temple.
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seven. – random kisses out of nowhere
“Y/N? I’m outside of the room, come out.” Jisung says the moment you picked the call up. You were feeling really happy about this particular day. So, with a big smile on your face you walked to the window of the room, sliding it open and popping your head out, not following Jisung’s instruction. You looked at the side to see Jisung with Hyunjin, in front of the classroom next to yours. Wow. In front of your room, huh. But you didn’t roll your eyes as you feel really giddy about today. Jisung and Hyunjin see you and you waved at them enthusiastically, your phone still pressed against your ear. Then, a figure on your peripheral vision catches your attention. He always caught your attention.
Not waiting for Jisung and Hyunjin to wave back, you turned to the boy that caught your attention and smiled at him widely as he comes nearer and nearer.
“Hi!” You enthusiastically say and Minho giggles. Minho was walking with Chan to wherever. Minho smiles, coming towards you as he places a kiss on your nose. You scrunched your nose and Minho chuckles.
“I’ll see you at lunch, text me.” Minho says as he continues walking and you nod. You watch Minho’s back as he and Chan reaches the end, turning a corner to go downstairs. Fuck, you’re falling deeper and deeper for him everyday. You just hope the kisses he gives mean something just as much as they mean to you.
“Someone’s in love.” Jisung says in a sing-song matter and you realized you stil have your phone pressed against your ear. “I’ll see you at lunch, text me. Are you two dating already?” Hyunjin’s voice come in and you sigh, turning your gaze to them.
“Fuck you both.” You pouted and they laugh. You hang up the calling, going out of the room to go to your friends.
Everyone could see how hung up you are, Y/N.
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You held your hand on the open, feeling the raindrops hit your palm. You look up at the sky, pouting. Out of all the time it could rain, why did it have to be right now when you don’t have your umbrella with you? You just wanted to have your carton of banana milk since you were craving for it. You held the banana milk with both hands, tucking it under chin as you watched the rain fall, waiting for it to stop. It was nearing midterms; you can’t afford to be sick.
All hope came back when you saw Minho across the road, in the building of your dorm as he opens an umbrella. He comes out in the open, an umbrella protecting him from the rain as he made his way to you. When he reaches you, you look at him and he stares back at you until he breaks into a fit of giggles. “You’re so lucky I saw you from there.” Minho said, pointing at the second floor of the building. “You should’ve texted me or something.”
“I didn’t bring my phone.” You said and Minho chuckles. “Plus, you didn’t have to.”
“You really think I would let you just watch the sky, wait for the rain to stop?” Minho asks. “You look like you were glaring at the sky, telling the rain to stop.” You look so fucking cute. Minho wanted to add, but decided against it.
You huffed and Minho giggles, leaning forward to kiss the side of your head. “Come on.” Minho says as he wraps an arm around you, holding the umbrella in between the two of you. By instinct, you wrap one arm behind his waist.
Wrong. He shouldn’t have wrapped an arm around you, he should’ve just transferred the umbrella to the other hand. Due to this position, Minho wants to just kiss your head and never pull away. You don’t feel his heartbeat, do you?
When you both reached the building, you pulled away from Minho and faced him as he closes the umbrella after shaking some raindrops off of it. “Thanks, Minho.” You said with a pout, handing your banana milk out. “Here, have it.”
Minho chuckles, pushing it back to you. “It’s fine, Y/N. You’d the same for me, anyway.” Minho says and you nod, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. You pull away, a big grin on your face.
“You know I would.”
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eight. – kiss on the knuckles
Minho had a showcase and of course, you were there to watch to support him. You expected him to be the best as always. You expected him to give out his all. What you didn’t expect was for Minho to fall on the ground in the middle of his number. You were quick on your feet, the curtains closed and you immediately ran to the stage. Turns out, he was too exhausted from rehearsals. It’s been a week since it happened and some people just can’t let go of what happened. But Minho ignored them but you never knew about it.
You were in your locker getting the things that are needed when you hear a girl beside your locker. “Yeah?” She said with an annoying giggle. “I heard that Lee Minho guy purposely fell on stage to get attention, so everyone would pity him. Apparently, he works hard enough like up until midnight yet he never gets the recognition he ‘deserves’.”
You slam your locker door harshly and you saw the girl flinch in your peripheral vision. You turned to her, shoulder leaning against your locker and smile at her with fakeness. “What an interesting theory,” You said. “But I’m sorry to tell you that Minho would never do something like that for what is so called attention. You don’t know Minho so I suggest you stop the bullshit that you’re spreading about him before you regret it.”
She scoffs. “What are you, Y/N? Minho’s little friend? Minho’s just using you for attention. You have connections, after all.” She says.
“He’s not the type to use someone for his own interest.” You said. “Don’t judge the person because you are nowhere near as good as he is.”
“How sure are you?” She says, her eyebrows raised.
You simply stood straightly, crossing your arms across your chest. “Simple, he’s not you.” You say and the girl slaps you across the face. Let’s just say you had a pretty intense fight leaving you with a scratch on your arm because of her long sharp nails, a bruise on the side of your stomach and pretty much bruised knuckles. Her state was way worse than yours.
You were in your locker, fixing your things gently as your hand hurts. You were putting things inside your bag when someone grabbed your arm and turns you around. You hiss, the pain stinging as the person grab you where the girl scratched you. “Shit, that hurts.” You say and the hand pulls back. You look up, seeing Minho with a worried expression. He looks at you then to the arm where he grabbed you. He grabs your bag from you, putting it on the ground and pulling your denim jacket off. He sees the large 3 lines of scratches. You covered it up, pulling your jacket back and turning around to your locker.
“What the hell got into you, Y/N? You were never the type to hurt someone.” Minho asks and you shrugged.
“She hit me first, I just gave her what she wanted.” You dryly said and you heard Minho sigh.
Minho’s shoulder slumped and grabbed you gently on your uninjured arm. He turns you around and you avoid his eyes. “What did truly happen, Y/N?” Minho asks. “All I know is you got into a fist fight and since you’re not the type to hurt someone, you must have a reason.” Minho says and you still avoided his eyes, looking at the ground.
“That’s it. She hit me first and I just gave her what she wanted.” You repeated and Minho sighs, taking your hands but you pulled the other that hurts. Minho sighs, looking at it. He grabs your bag, closing your locker and gently pulling you with him. “Come on, let’s go to your dorm.”
On the way to your dorm, you were silent the whole time, Minho worrying. When you both arrived at your dorm, you immediately went to your bed while Minho went to where you keep your first aid kit. Minho lightly tugged on your jacket and you removed it, letting him mend the scratch on your arm. “Still waiting for the real reason,” Minho says as he puts some ointment on your scratch. When he’s done, he takes your bruised knuckles and cleans them. “Come on, Y/N. Why did you? You know you can trust me.” Minho says and you still ignored him. Minho sighs, wrapping your hand with a bandage. “Other injuries?” Minho asks.
“I’ll clean it.” You mumble, taking the cloth from Minho’s hand, but he pulls away.
“Not until you say why you did it.” Minho says and you sigh, standing up. You kept silent, trying to take the cloth from him but he wouldn’t budge. “Come on, Y/N, just tell me why.” Minho says and wraps his arms around your waist. You hiss, unwrapping Minho’s arms from you. Minho frowns, lifting your shirt up lightly to show the bruise. He cleans it and your one hand finds its way on Minho’s hair, brushing it up. Then trails down to his cheek. Minho snuggles his face with your hand and you looked at him with pure sadness. “Come on, Y/N, why?” How could someone think so lowly of him? All he ever did was try to make everyone happy around him.
“I don’t wanna talk about it, Minho.” You mumble as you pull away and go around your dorm, looking for things to find. You settled on your small bookshelf, pretending to look for a book.
“Lies. You just don’t want me to know why it happened.” Minho said and he stands up to walk over to you. “C’mon, Y/N, why?” Minho says as he stays behind you. “What happened? I refuse to believe that you violently ruined her face just because she hit you first.” Minho says and you sigh. “I’m going to bother you all day, Y/N. You know how I am.”
“Fine! She was talking shit about you and I confronted her about it, saying something stupid and then she slapped me then I beat the hell out of her.” You say as you turned to Minho. “Happy now that you know?”
Minho’s face fell and you sigh. “What did she say? What exactly happened?” Minho asks.
“I was fixing my locker and our lockers were right beside each other’s. I heard her talking shit about you—“
“What exactly is the shit?” Minho cuts you off.
You bit your lip and sigh. “You purposely fell on stage to let everyone know how hardworking you are but never got the recognition you deserve.” You said and Minho looks down. “I told her that you’re not that kind of person, she said that you’re just using me because I have connections and then I said you’re not and when she asked how sure am I, I said because you’re not her.” Minho’s gaze went to you and you sighed. “I’m sorry, I went all over the place when she said that.”
“But it isn’t really true, right?” Minho says. “People only get mad when they are being confronted of what is true and they don’t really like admitting it.”
“Minho,” you say. “I can’t handle it when someone talks shit about you. You don’t deserve it, they’re just jealous of you.”
Minho gently grabs your hands and smiles at you. “Thank you, Y/N. But getting into trouble wasn’t really necessary.” He says and you nod. “Next time, okay? Ignore them, their ugly faces don’t deserve your pretty knuckles.”
You laugh and Minho lifts the injured fist, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss to it.
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nine. – confession kiss
“Why are we here?” You softly asked as Minho brought you at the rooftop—where Minho had silently promised you that he will always be there for you. Minho only smiled at you, but you could see the nervousness in him. Then, you suddenly chuckled. “Did you know the first time I went here was when you brought me here?”
Minho’s head was quick to snap towards your way as if sirens grew in his head. “Really?” He asks and you nod. You look down, palms on your jeans wiping the non-existent sweat against the denim cloth. You just suddenly felt nervous. Why did Minho even bring you here?
“So, why did you bring me here?” You asked, looking up at Minho who was staring at you with such admiration in his eyes. And that was honestly your favorite part in him; his eyes. The galaxies in his eyes that you always wanted to get lost in—that you’re willing to get lost in. You just want to dive into full of Lee Minho, honestly. Everyone could notice that everytime he would look at you his eyes would shine a little bit more than they usually do. But you don’t know that.
And maybe, it’s time for Minho to let you know that.
“This could be really cheesy and corny,” Minho says and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Remember when we bump into each other and we accidentally kissed?”
You laughed. Minho’s heart flipped.
You covered your mouth with a hand as you remembered how it exactly happened. This was the first time it was brought up. For being friends for almost a year and you two never talked about it. “Of course! I couldn’t face you until Mrs. Kim partnered us up.” You said and Minho could see how your eyes lit up almost brighter than the sun. Minho giggled himself, easing his nerves lightly. “But anyway, go on.”
Minho smiled as you urged him, taking your hands in his. “We’ll be friends no matter what, right?” Minho asks, worry dawning his face as scenarios of you rejecting him flashed in his mind. Minho shook your hands lightly as a way to cover up his worried state. If only Minho knew how hung up you are to him.
You frowned. “Minho, we’re best friends, I could never leave you. I can’t even function properly without you even if for just a moment.” You said as you squeezed his hands to ease him. Minho’s eyes trail down on your hands and he breathes in.
“Promise?” Minho asks and you nod.
“Promise.” You said. “Come on, this us. What wrong could happen?”
Minho nods, looking into your eyes and you smile at him. “This could be very sudden to you,” Minho starts and you listen intently as he starts. You could literally see how nervous he was, so you squeezed his hands to encourage him. “Um, I like you, Y/N.”
You felt heart skip a beat. Minho? He likes you? The guy you accidentally kissed almost a year ago.
You felt Minho’s grip tighten, but still, ever gently. “I’m not pressuring you into liking me, I just.. want you to know that I like you a lot, but if you give me a shot, it would be very nice—you won’t regret it, I promise. But again, I’m not pressuring you.” Minho blurted out.
The speech that Minho prepared for a week, it was now forgotten. All he wants to do is for you to know how much he likes you. And he likes you a lot. He’s been kissing you for almost a whole year, but he wants to do it because you’re dating—not simply because he’s friends with you, because honestly, friends don’t do that. Whenever you kiss your other friends, like take Hyunjin as an example, you only bump cheeks with him, but with Minho? It feels natural kissing him. What more if you can kiss him on the lips once again, but this time not accidentally.
“Y/N?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts as he called you. He was nervous, very nervous and you could see it right through him.
“Y-You do?” You stutter.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Minho asks, chewing on his lower lip as he looks at you.
“No,” you said, then you smiled. “Because it would be a real shame if this is just a prank considering I like you, too.”
Minho’s jaw drops and you giggle at his reaction. “W-What?” Minho says with a wide smile, a chuckle escaping his lips. Minho felt as if he’s in cloud 9, he felt so happy. You like him, too! It was as if he hit jackpot. “You like me, too.” Minho breathed out and you laughed, pulling your hands off and wrapping your arms around his torso.
“I do, Minho. Like, a whole lot.” You said as you rested your nose on his shoulder. Minho smiles widely, cheeks hurting but he could care less, you like him. Minho wraps his arms around you, his jaw resting on the side of your head. “I thought I was being obvious! I like you way before our encounter.”
“Oh?” Minho lightly pulls away, smirking at you as he teases you. Minho giggled, kissing your forehead. Then, he moves his hands, cupping your cheeks as he looks down at you. Minho’s gaze was on your eyes, momentarily looking on your lips. And so were your eyes, it kept trailing back on his lips, remembering how soft it was when you accidentally did. Minho could probably feel how excited you are to finally feels those soft gentle lips against yours.
Simply because it was what he was thinking of, as well.
“Can I kiss you?” Minho asks you and you nod, looking into his eyes, feeling yourself get lost into those galaxies that he has like you always would. Minho leans closer, eyes trailing back and forth into your eyes and lips. You close your eyes, Minho sighing as he took in your beauty.
But Lee Minho is a big tease.
When his breath finally mingled with yours, Minho smiled, kissing the corner of your mouth. He pulls away, hands sliding down to your arms as you opened your eyes. “What?” You asked, pouting.
“I never said I’ll kiss you on the lips.” Minho says and your jaw drops. Unbelievable. But still, you found yourself laughing. Minho kisses your nose. “Let’s go on a date.”
“You’re such a big tease, Lee Minho!”
“Honey, am I even Lee Minho if I wasn’t a big tease?”
“You looked like you were gonna shit your pants when you were confessing to me, Lee Minho.”
“It just means that Lee Minho is so whipped for you, Y/L/N Y/N.”
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ten. – “i love you.”
Minho knocks on your door on a Saturday morning. He was still in his pajamas, but he wanted to spend as much time with you since you’re both seniors in college already, meaning more work has been loaded. This is honestly the first time Minho will be seeing you in this week. Minho hasn’t even had a bath yet, he only brushed his teeth and get his wallet, keys and phone and now, he’s here. Minho figured you were still sleeping so he fumbled with his keys, looking for yours since you both exchanged spare keys of your dorms (Luckily, you two didn’t have a roommate, why not just move together?). He slides the key into the hole of the doorknob, unlocking it as he pushed the door open. He closed the door behind him when he stepped inside and a big smile graces his lips as he sees you in the bathroom, brushing your teeth with your eyes closed. You were drawing circles around your teeth with your toothbrush in a very slow motion. Your hair pulled up in a messy bun, still in your pajamas just like Minho and in his big white shirt.
Minho makes his way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and you jump lightly, opening your eyes. Minho rests his chin on your shoulder as he looks at the two of you through the mirror in front of you. You leant your head against his, free hand running back and forth on his forearm. Minho smiles, kissing your cheek and you giggle, patting Minho’s cheek with your hand. You really are such a perfect fit for each other. You finished brushing your teeth, cleaning your mouth and brush. You put it away neatly and turned around to face Minho with a wide smile, but Minho could see that you’re still sleepy. It made you a lot cuter in his opinion.
“Minho,” you softly said and he hums with a smile. “I just brushed my teeth, can I get the kiss now?” Minho laughs and you pouted, but a giggle escapes your lips as you looked at how happy Minho is. You were delighted to know that you’re the one who makes Minho happy.
“Fine.” Minho says and your eyes light up. Is this it? You’re finally getting the kiss on the lips?
You were excited, but you were proven wrong when Minho leans in to kiss the same spot he kissed 3 months ago when he confessed to you. Everyday you would try to pry Minho in giving you a kiss on your lips, but he would always just kiss the corner of your mouth, saying that he wants your actual first kiss together to be really meaningful. But when?
“Just the teaser, though.” Minho says with a wink and you pouted, whining. Minho kisses your nose, smiling as he grabs your hand to pull you out of the bathroom. “C’mon, let’s go have coffee.” You smiled as he pulls you with him. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. Your chest was so full of Minho that you feel like you’re going to burst any minute now. You know it in yourself, this is getting deeper and deeper, but you’re willing to fall deeper into Lee Minho. After all, he’s all you wanted from the very start.
Minho started to make your coffee, knowing you’re still sleepy to do that. You were just so thankful Minho is there. It’s been a year and not once did Minho break his promise on being there by your side at your happiest, neutral and saddest days, even when fights occur, he’s still there. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist, head resting on his back. You feel Minho give your hand a pat or two. “Still sleepy, bub?” Minho asks and you nodded. You tiptoed, placing a kiss on Minho’s shoulder. Even if Minho was small, he still managed to be a lot taller than you are. Minho turns around, wrapping his arms around your waist as he lifted you. You wrap your arms around his shoulders before wrapping your legs around his waist. Minho carried you like a teddy bear and went over to your bed, laying down with you above him. You giggle and Minho smiles, arms tightening around you as if he was scared that you’re going to leave him. I doubt you would. “We’re tired college kids,” Minho mumbles. “Let’s sleep some more.”
You hid your face in Minho’s neck, closing your eyes. You peck his neck the same time you felt a peck on your ear. You sigh in content, snuggling further into Minho as you were impossibly closer with Minho than before. Sleeps with Minho is the safest you feel. Actually, being around Minho is the safest that you feel. Minho’s presence would always be enough for you. You were just so happy with Minho. All the stress, the tiredness? Just a Minho in front of you and you’re okay.
Clock strikes 1 and you flutter your eyes open, feeling satisfied on your sleep. Minho’s hand plays with your hair as the other was on your arm, rubbing it in a soothing manner. You sighed, kissing his jaw as lifted yourself off of him and sitting up. Minho whines, latching hand around your wrist to pull you back. “We have to have lunch, baby.” You said with a smile.
“I already ordered takeout, it’s gonna be here in 15 minutes.” Minho says with a smile. Sigh, seriously, what were you gonna do without Minho?
And just like Minho said, the takeout arrived after 15 minutes and you both ate while talking about what’s currently happening in college. Everytime Minho laughs, you would feel a tug on your heartstrings. You can never get enough of Lee Minho.
After eating, you both disposed your trash and cleaned up a bit. 3 pm and you both settled in your bed again, putting your laptop in front of the two of you as you play a random movie. You both sat on your bed, legs tangled together with your arms wrapped around his waist. His one arm behind your shoulders, hand playing with your hair and the other on your forearm, running back and forth, backs leant against your bedhead.
You tugged on his shirt, a smile coming up to your face. Minho looks down to you as he continued playing with your hair. “Remember how you got your book back from Hyunjin? The same day we were embarrassingly partnered up for Romeo and Juliet? Hyunjin was so confused—“
A smile comes up in Minho’s face, how far have you both come? From accidentally kissing each other to a project that requires a kiss on the hand to random kisses that eventually built up the relationship between the two of you. Minho was happy. It was kind of messy, but hey, it’s you and him. Who would’ve thought from not having any chance to talk to each other led to something that Minho has grown attached to? Certainly not Minho.
Minho could still remember how fast his heart kept on beating when he kissed your palm in Mrs. Kim’s class. He could still remember how he realized he likes you. He could still remember how happy he was when you told him you like him back. He still remembers everything. How could he not when his heart feels so heavy but light at the same time with so much love for you? He wanted to be the one to make you happy just like the way that you make him happy.
“And then Jisung suddenly kept asking me why—“
“I love you, Y/N.” Minho blurts out. His eyes don’t go wide; he doesn’t get surprised at how he suddenly blurted it out. He knew he was going to confess to you once more and it seems like it’s right now. He doesn’t even have the slightest nerve that tugs on his stomach that makes him worried that you would reject him.
You cut your story off, looking at Minho. There it was again, the galaxies in eyes. But this time, it shone brighter than they usually would. Minho looks at you with pure admiration and you realized how you both maintained such a happy and healthy relationship. You love Minho just as much as he loves you and you both never failed to show that to each other.
No words, just action for a response.
You pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes and Minho immediately responds into the kiss, not wasting anymore time as he pulls you impossibly closer. Now, you understood when Minho said he was looking for the right timing, wanting your first real kiss to be as meaningful as it is. And this was just perfect.
“I love you, too.”
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the power of: going through it. rawr see you in my next fic, i hope you like it! uwu
714 notes · View notes
getsojaded · 4 years
Text
chemistry || calum hood
word count: 3.8k+
warnings: mentions of weed, swear words, mention of injury, food & the slightest bit of sex talk
a/n: hey twt moots ;)) anyways, this is inspired by this post! i hope u all enjoy <3
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It was about 11 pm, and I had just finished taking an unnecessarily large amount of notes for chemistry class. With a sore, shaky hand and a vision that was starting to go blurry, I had finally finished ten pages. Who knew that there was so much information about 5 organic compounds?
I yawned in my seat, stretching my arms out and removing my glasses. I was more than thankful that I can call it a night, and walked towards my bathroom to get ready for bed, which took a good 30 minutes. It usually doesn’t take me that long, but fuck, I was exhausted this whole day. After all my skincare was completed, I walked back to my bedroom and hopped into my bed, prepared for a well deserved rest. After slouching for a good three and a half hours, comforter and pillows had never felt so good against my body. 
Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a loud ding! from my phone and I opened my heavy eyes, which immediately annoyed me. I ignored the first one and tried to go back to sleep, but one ding turned into six and I couldn’t take it anymore. I angrily ripped the covers off my body, sitting up right after reaching for my phone on the nightstand beside my bed.
6 New Text Messages from: calum hood
hey wyd rn
can you do me a favour
i need your help
im at this party right now and i’m about to get high as fuck but i forgot about our homework for tomorrow and i was wondering if you could do them for me
you don’t even need to make them look pretty like how you do it just take down the important shit
please
“What the fuck?” I whsipered to myself as I looked at my phone. “Who does this bitch think he is?”
to: calum hood
are you fucking serious right now
from: calum hood
please i’m really sorry LOL i completely forgot about it
i know your smarty pants finished it the second you got home please
i’ll literally buy you starbucks tomorrow morning
As much as I hated to admit it, his last text message kind of convinced me. I was a sucker for coffee, and could really stop spending money on it every morning. But was I really about to lose some more sleep just to do the party boy’s notes? I barely know this kid anyways. How’d this guy even get into college? 
to: calum hood
is it gonna be a venti
from: calum hood:
if that’s what you want, sure
I knew I was going to regret this decision, but I threw on my glasses and put my hair up once again, walking towards my desk. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I sighed out, opening my laptop and gathering my supplies together. I unlocked my phone, seeing that the time was 12 am. Am I doing this for coffee or am I doing this because he’s attractive and I couldn’t really say no to him? I groaned and leaned my head on my desk, texting him back.
to: calum hood
i hate you so much
get me a venti iced white mocha no whip and an extra espresso shot
actually no make that two extra espresso shots cause bc of your dumbass im staying up 
from: calum hood
i gotchu angel
thank you so much, see you tomorrow :)
“Fuck off with the petname and the smiley face,” I angrily cursed at my phone, picking up my pencil and beginning to write another ten pages of notes. 
“I hate this bitch,” I said, throwing my pencil onto my desk and slamming my laptop shut. The time was now 3:45 am and tired was an understatement for me. I crawled into bed, falling asleep almost immediatly, hoping that these 5 hours of sleep will give me enough energy to get through class tomorrow.
-
“You have got to be fucking joking me,” I mumbled, reaching over for my phone to turn off the alarm. I was definitely not a morning person, and the fact that I didn’t get at least 7 hours of sleep meant that I was not going to be in a good mood today.
I slowly crawled out of bed and began trudging towards my bathroom, seeing I had gotten a text meesage from the man himself. I rolled my eyes seeing his name pop up, opening the conversation between him and I.
from: calum hood
goodmorning!
to: calum hood
fuck off
I set my phone aside, getting ready for bed in the slowest way possible. I honestly could care less about what I looked like today, so I decided on a hoodie and sweatpants. I went back into my room and packed my bag with everything I needed, including Calum’s stupid study notes. I threw it over my shoulder, putting on my shoes and walking out the front door, into my car. Thankfully my college was not too far from my apartment, so it didn’t matter if I was running a couple of minutes late.
Parking my car and walking towards class, more and more annoyance filled my body, hoping that nobody would say a word to me, or even better, look in my direction. As I walked into the classroom, I walked towards the empty seats in the very back, choosing the one closest to the wall. I got settled into my seat, leaning the side of my head against the wall, hoping that I’d get the tiniest bit of extra rest.
“The last text message you sent to me wasn’t very nice.” I heard a voice beside me say. I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing the stupid Calum Hood. He was holding two cups of coffee - one for me, and one for him I’m assuming - and was wearing a maroon hoodie, which he actually looked really good in.
“I don’t think you deserve to have a nice goodmorning text, because you are the reason I’m in a pissy mood today, thank you very much.” I responded, taking my coffee from his hand and placing it on my desk. I reached into my bag and took the study notes I wrote for him, slapping it onto the desk beside me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as our professor began to speak up, indicating that class had begun. “What can I do in order for you not to be mad at me?” I turned to look at him. He had the biggest pouty face I had ever seen, which was absolutely adorable. But I’d never tell him that.
“Just shut up.” I sighed, turning back towards the board, opening my notebook and beginning to take notes. 
Not even ten minutes later, a green sticky note caught my eye as I was writing. My eyes gazed towards the sticky note, scoffing at what was written on it.
Pls forgive me :(
I turned towards Calum, who was currently well focused on the board in front of us. I lightly chuckled, knowing he was more than pretending to actually pay attention in this class.
I thought I told you to shut up, I wrote underneath his writing and stuck it back onto his desk, and continued from where I left off. I got maybe 5 words in before I saw the neon green appear back onto my desk. I can’t shut up if I’m not talking.
I rolled my eyes before crumbling the paper in my hand, looking at Calum once again. “You’re distracting me. What do you want?” I asked him, the brunette boy turning his head to me once again. 
“For you not to be mad at me.” He responded. “What can I do for you to at least smile at me? Besides telling me to shut up.” 
I stared at him with the bitchiest face I could put on, then rolled my eyes and began to take down more notes in my book. First, he makes me write ten pages for him and now he’s distracting me in class. Can he leave me alone for at least five minutes? 
“And now you’re not gonna talk to me. Fine, be that way.” He grunted. The two of went back to what to we were doing for the remainder of class.
-
“That’s all for today folks, I hope you have a good rest of your day and don’t forget to read pages thirty to thirty-five and finish questions one to twenty-seven.” Our professor said to all of the class, which resulted in me grabbing my bag and standing up immediately, wanting nothing more than to just get the fuck out of this place.
Please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me-
“Hey wait,” Calum said and grabbed my hand. 
Fuck
“Yes?” I asked him, turning my body towards him as he let go of my hand. 
“What’re you doing the rest of the day?” 
“Nothing, why..?”
I saw that Calum had the cheekiest grin on his face after I gave him my answer. “As an apology for making you write down my notes, thank you very much by the way, along with making you angry this whole morning, how about we go get breakfast on me, and we can do our homework together, except I will do all the work, and you just copy my answers? How does that sound?”
I thought about it. One part of me just wanted to flip him off, go back home and get the sleep I missed out on last night. The other part of me was actually kind of down for that idea. Free food, free homework answers and I get to hang out with pretty boy? I wasn’t really losing anything here, huh? 
“I mean, I would say yes, but I took my car here and also I’m dressed terribly right now, the last thing I need is for more people to see me looking like this..” I trailed off, looking down at my current outfit and laughing lightly. “Babe, you don’t even look bad whatsoever right now. However, if you insist, you can go home and change and I can come get you when you’re ready. Is that a plan?” He asked in response. First angel, now babe? What is this guy doing?
“I mean.. I could do that...but-” “Pleeaaasee?” Calum cut me off, pressing his hands together, acting as if he was praying. 
“Ugh, fine, I’ll go with you! I’ll go home and get ready, and I’ll text you when I’m done.” I responded as the both of us walked out of the classroom, towards the parking lot. 
“Pinky promise you won’t cancel on me last minute?” Calum asked, extending his arm and putting his pinky in front of me as we reached my car. I hadn’t even noticed that he walked me to my car, which honestly made my heart flutter when I realized. 
“Are you kidding me?” I laughed lightly, taking my pinky and sticking it out with his, interlocking it. “Pinky promises mean everything, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” He responded, winking at me then walking away. Getting into my car, I hit my steering wheel, squealing while I repeatedly hit my head against my wheel. “Fuckin’ angel, babe and sweetheart?! What’s next?” I asked myself, driving back to my place to get ready for this little study.. session? Hang out? Date? 
I never noticed how nervous I was to hang out with Calum until four different outfits were placed on my bed, with no ability to choose which one looked best. “Fuck, these are all terrible.” I groaned, flopping onto my bed and closing my eyes. I was interrupted by my phone ringing, seeing that Calum was calling.
“I know you pinky promised that you wouldn’t cancel on me, but angel what is taking so long?” He asked, laughing into his question. “I’m so sorry,” I groaned, getting back up and looking at the outfits I planned on my bed. “I’m having a little wardrobe crisis. I have zero idea what to wear.”
“You could’ve showed up in the hoodie and sweatpants and I’d still find you gorgeous,” He responded, making my heart flutter for what felt like the hundreth time today. This man throws small compliments left and right and it’s kind of driving me crazy. “But lemme see what you got planned out. I’ll make it easier for you.” I responded with an okay, quickly snapping a photo of the clothes that were currently on my bed. 
“Okay first off, none of these are bad at all. I think you could’ve chose any of these and rocked all of ‘em. Second, little shirt big pants is always the way to go. I say the second one.” He told me, choosing a white long sleeved shirt and the baggiest light wash jeans I had in my closet. It might’ve been basic, but Calum was right - you really can’t go wrong with a little shirt big pants combination. 
“Okay, thank you.” I sighed in relief, taking the clothes into my hands and walking into the washroom to change. “You can come now, I’ll text you my address. I’ll probably be done by the time you get here.” 
“Now was that so hard?” He asked in response, causing the both of us to laugh. “I’ll see you in a bit. Bye bye!” 
“Bye Calum, see you later.” And with that the call ended. I quickly changed into my clothes, put my laptop in my bag - along with everything else I needed - and slipped my shoes on. Once I finished doing so, I heard a loud honk outside, indicating that he was outside. 
Walking out of my house I saw Calum exiting his seat, walking over to the other side and opening the door for me. “Wow, what a gentleman.” I laughed as he closed my door and got into the drivers’ side once again. “You look great.” He told me, his eyes focused on my outfit. “All thanks to you.” I said nervously, as he started the car. “Where are we going again?” I asked him. 
“You can never go wrong with IHOP,”  He said proudly, with a wide grin on his face. “How’d you know I loved going there?” I asked him, gaining a chuckle from him in response. “Not sure if you knew this, but I’m a mindreader.” He joked, causing me to roll my eyes and laugh in response. 
Arriving at the place and ordering our food, Calum and I began to have a little conversation. It started off with an are you still mad at me? which resulted into talks about other classes, finals and parties. 
“You’re telling me you’ve never been to a party?” He asked in shock, me shaking my head as I took a sip of the water that was given to me. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been in college for what, two years, and you’ve never been to one?!”
“Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, I go to school to learn and not to party. I don’t ask people to take ten pages of notes for me so I could blaze up, unlike somebody I know,” I responded, Calum looking at me in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just called me out like that. I said I was sorry!” 
“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re making up for it with free food and free homework answers, so I decided to get over it.” I responded, laughing. “Also, when are we gonna start doing the questions?” I asked as the waiter came with both of our plates of food, thanking them as we began to eat. 
“I mean, we could go back to my place and work on it, if that’s alright with you.” Calum said, his mouth full of pancakes. “Is that your way of trying to get in my pants?” I asked jokingly. 
“You’re a fiesty one aren’t you?” He asked, with a simple nod from me in response. “Well to answer your question, no that is not my way of doing such a thing, I’d be much more smooth about it.” 
“Oh, so you think you’re slick or something?” “Nah babe, I know I’m slick.” There’s the cocky party boy that I was much more familiar with. I rolled my eyes in response.
“I’m gonna ignore what you just said.. Anyways, I am fine with working on it at your place.” I told him, getting a nod in response. Throughout the whole breakfast, we got to know each other quite well. I learned that he played soccer in highschool, but due to a torn ACL he had to quit. But because of that, he got into music and started playing the guitar. I told him that if there’s enough free time when we finished, he should play me something. He happily agreed to it, saying that I will fall in love with him after I hear his singing. I just roll my eyes at his cocky compliments about himself. 
I also got to hear his totally wild college parties that he goes to, telling me about this one time one of his friends’ houses got shut down due to the various noise complaints from neighbours down the block. “you should come join me in one”, He offers, with a “fuck no” in response from me. 
“C’mon, they’re not that bad. They’re actually really fun, and everybody’s always so nice.” 
“I literally can’t tell you the last time I got high, and the last time I got drunk it was not pretty, I’m retired from that shit.” I said, as he paid for our food and began walking back to his car.
“Oh, so you used to be rowdy?” He asked, the two of us laughing in unison. “High school me was a different story, we don’t talk about that.” I responded. “The things I would do to see that side of you. You gotta go to at least one before you get outta this place. They take a lot of stress off your shoulders for the night.” He told me as we walked towards the front door to his place, which made me laugh at the fact that he tried to make parties seem like a really good thing. A simple Maybe, was all I responded with as we got settled into his apartment, which was fairly clean to my surprise. 
We were currently sitting across each other at his dining table, the both of us reading over the textbook and him answering the questions after every section. He worked effeciently, which also took me by surprise. I underestimated this guy a lot, didn’t I?
A good two hours later, Calum had finished all the questions for homework and I had finished copying them down, thanking him for doing such a thing.
“It’s no problem. I had no idea that the notes were ten fucking pages long, you deserve a break after that- wait, you wear glasses?” He asked me, analyzing them.
“Yeah, only at home though. I don’t really like how they look on me,” I replied, taking them off and rubbing my eyes. He took them in his hands and put them back on me, smiling. “They look really cute on you, I like them.” He said, causing me to blush. “What’re you so flirty for?” I asked. Keep these compliments up and I might just fall in love with you before you even sing, I thought to myself.
“Well, with somebody as pretty as you, I gotta slip in a flirty remark every chance I get, eh?” He smirked, taking my hand, and taking the both of upstairs. “Don’t take this the wrong way, my guitars in my room.” He reassured me as we walked inside his room. He took the guitar from the side of his room, and sat on the edge of his bed, gesturing me to sit down next to him.
“Ready to fall in love with me?”
“Try me, Hood.” 
He chuckled, playing the intro to Sam Smith’s Leave Your Lover. “Holy shit, I love this song,” I whispered, watching his hands strum the guitar.
He began to sing, immediately amazed by his voice. It was so soft and raspy, I literally could listen to it all day. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder. He laughed softly when he noticed, continuing on with the song. 
He finished playing the outro, which caused me to open my eyes and look up at him. “So, how was that?” 
“It was beautiful, your voice is so pretty.” I responded, smiling at him. “You should drop outta this whole college thing and just become famous.”
“Oh man I wish, but I think it’s too late for that.” He told me, now leaning on my shoulder, which made me want to scream and kiss him. “Did you fall in love with me yet?”
I patted his cheek with my hand lightly. “Not yet Cal, not yet. Stil kinda angry about that whole ten pages of notes thing.” 
“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”
“Nah.”
He laughed, then took my hand and intertwined it with his, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. “What if I told you I’d be down to do this again, minus the whole ‘let me do this for you today as an apology’ thing?” He questioned, lifting his head from my shoulder and looking at me.
“What do you mean, ‘this again’?”
“I mean picking you up with a coffee before class, bothering you the whole time, getting breakfast with you afterwards, studying together, and then playing a song for you once we get too lazy to finish our assignments.” He replied with a soft smile that made my heart warm and my cheeks red.
“And what if I told you that I’d be down to do those things aswell?” 
“Well then my love, I will pick you up on Wednesday at 8:15 with a venti iced white mocha with only one extra shot of espresso, because I won’t keep you up to write more notes. After class, I’ll take us to any place you wanna go. Denny’s? IHOP? Waffle House? You name it. Then, we can go back to my place, study our asses off and then I can play you as many songs as you’d like. How does that sound?” He offered, the biggest smile appearing on my face.
“That sounds perfect.”
“Now if we’re going to be doing this... does this mean I can finally take you to a damn party?”
“Fuck off, Hood.”
119 notes · View notes
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Ok I have a major thing for handwriting idk so what do you think Ezra's handwriting looks like? (And on that topic, try not to think about love letters from Ezra when you're apart... Or do, I'd love to hear your thoughts bc I'm kinda dying here) I also feel like he's the kind of person to have just... a box of things you've written for him... Like literally anything. Shopping lists, letters, etc. and when he's away he takes them out and reads them :))
okay im feeling lonely and a little sad tonight so I immediately ran with this and uhhhhh this happened. (last bit is between him and reader from the thing “Stupid Man” that i posted earlier today. ) this ended up being a bit longer than expected sorry lmao
I’ve never written Ezra before please be gentle with me y’all
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For this we're gonna say that Ezra is right-handed. 
I think Ezra had beautiful handwriting. Smooth, sloping neat lines ever since he was able to write. While other kids had to work on their penmanship, his was a natural gift. His handwriting was one that teachers would compliment in grade school, so distracted by the smooth strokes of his pencil that they hadn’t noticed the words used on his assignments weren’t even his, but that of the student sitting right next to him. The girls in his class would giggle and swoon at the albeit juvenile words of affections he’d write to them on secret notes passed back and forth between them, a habit he kept well into his adulthood. While he wasn’t proud of it, the harvester would leave notes of bittersweet goodbyes to lovers the morning after, remarking on how he would never forget the time spent working together on harvesting deposits as well as the intimate “and dare I say magical” nights they spent with one another. The women he laid with would be so enamored with his words and the rose tinted images his words painted, that by the time they would realize he’d taken off with their share of the harvest as well as his own, he’d be far enough into the stars all they could do was curse his name to the sky in anger. 
And then, one harvest in the Green, he had met a man named Damon and a brave little girl named Cee. 
These meetings, whether it was predestined or not, lead to him losing his right arm, and with it his beautiful handwriting. 
Learning to write again was frustrating, as a child it had come to him with ease, a natural gift. But as a grown man? Kevva alive it was enough to make him contemplate putting his fist through a wall. Until-
“Ez,” You poked your head into the den, eyes squinting and a blanket wrapped tight around your shoulders. “It’s three am, come to bed baby.”
You. 
You made it worth it. With every shy smile you wore each time he gave you a written proclamation of his love and dedication to you, no matter how messy his chicken scratch writing was you’d pepper his face with his kisses in gratitude. 
“My poet.” You’d coo in his ear. He’d feel that every moment of frustration was worth it, if he could see you like this every time. 
After losing his arm, Ezra became more appreciative of little written things. The notes you’d leave on the kitchen counter when you go to work, the way you doodle smiley faces and cartoon fruit on grocery lists, even the little slips of encouragement you sneak into his pocket when you thought he wouldn't notice. 
He did notice. He noticed every time actually. But he didn’t say anything out of fear that you would stop. 
Ezra had a little box of mementos about you, a ticket stub from the first movie you saw, an aurelac gem from your first dig together (one he swore to himself to never sell) and all the little notes, lists, and reminders you’d ever written. When one of you has to leave for a long period of time, whether it be work, or family or whatever reason. Each time he’ll open that box when he feels deepest in his lonesome, and his heart will lift just the tiniest bit. 
(next bit is just a little except with Ezra x Alien!Reader following this prompt)
Ezra must not have heard your key slide into the lock, or the door open at all. The washing machine was loud enough to drown it out, the damn thing was on its last life as it shook and trembled enough for you to send it a distasteful glare as if it were human. 
The wood creaked under your steps and yet, nothing. No thumping of excited feet to be met with a bruising kiss to your lips, mumbled “I missed you” against one another as you inevitably celebrated your return in bed with each other. 
You continued your trek to his bedroom as softly as you could. 
Maybe he was asleep?
He sat on the corner of his bed, his back to you and a box in his lap.
You found yourself staring at him with a smile, leaning against the door frame as you watched his sift through a box full of little notes and lists you’d written over your time together with a bittersweet smile. 
“Is this what you do whenever I leave?”
Ezra jumped, flinging the box from his lap and spilling all it’s contents onto the floor. A variety of emotions crossed over his face before one took over them all at the sight of you. 
Pure joy. 
He crossed to you in three quick strides. His hand found itself at the nape of your neck, pulling you to him for a heated kiss that you were all too grateful for due to your time apart. 
“Oh my darling warrior has returned.” He spoke between the feather-light kisses he laid all over your face, turning you into a fit of flustered giggles at the feeling of his scruff against your skin.
 “Were those diplomats as horrid and soulless as you claimed them to be?”
You pulled away and groaned. “Even worse. But that doesn’t matter now.”
“That it does not.” He agreed, his thumb rubbed comforting circles against your skin. “Not a day went by when I didn’t think of that shining smile or alluring voice, having you part from me is like robbing an addict of their temptation.”
You pressed your hand against his mouth. If he spoke any further you definitely wouldn’t be able to focus on anything other than taking off his clothes. “Enough of that smooth talker.” Your eyes went to the pile of notes across the floor. You spotted one, a tiny birthday card with a coffee stain on the corner, that was from the first time you celebrated his birthday together. It had been three months into your relationship. You stared up at him.
“You really kept them all?”
The look in his eyes, so soft and tender part of you was worried he’d break in your hands. But you knew better than that. 
“I’d be a fool if I didn’t, brave one.” He rested his forehead against yours, exhaling a shaky breath as he did. “I am afraid I’m not as strong as I first surmised I would be at your frequent departures-”
Guilt washed over you in a hot wave. “Ezra-”
“-but I am extremely grateful that you return to me each time.” He interrupted, a soft kiss pressed against your pulse-point to punctuate, your eyes fluttered shut and he smiled. 
“It is a blessing with no disguise that such a woman as yourself would go see the world and decide to return to the humble abode of a lowly, former harvester such as myself after each one. I do not need a reminder of that gift, but still, it helps the distance feel just a click smaller.”
You sniffed and bumped your forehead against his with a tear smile. “Stupid man.” You weakly scolded, your voice wavering and not holding its usual command of the room. 
Ezra smiled, oh how he loved to hear you call him that. Ever since you first found him years ago on your home planet, and witnessed him nearly get killed because of his lack of knowledge on the plant life there. You’d guided him throughout his dig, all while criticizing his stupidity, lack of preparation and “positively abhorrent attitude, you stupid man! Coming to a planet you know nothing of? Surely you want to die!”
Over time he learned that “stupid man” was your version of “I love you.”
“You know you’ll never be without me, Ezra.” You dipped your head down and pressed a kiss to his chest. “No matter how far I am, you will always have me with you. Please don’t ever forget that.”
His hand slid up to rest on your cheek, you didn’t miss the way his fingers trembled oh so slightly against your skin. 
“Oh gentle warrior.” He whispered with a warm smile. “I do not deserve you.”
You thought-no, you knew he deserved you and much more. But he hadn’t realized that yet. You believed that Ezra deserved the world. You couldn’t give him that, so you settled for your love, devotion and handwritten notes slipped into his back pocket when you thought he wouldn’t notice. 
He noticed every time.
41 notes · View notes
theropoda · 4 years
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3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu
WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!
3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that
4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL
6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.
later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.
once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.
it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.
that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....
yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)
7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you
8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy
11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.
i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.
again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.
13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol
14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs
15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......
JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD
16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.
AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........
17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol
19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU
20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though
21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??
22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)
26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess
27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?
29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol
30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.
soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)
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ohtheseboysilove · 5 years
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The moon, the stars, are nothing without you [ Roger Taylor x F!Reader]
Words : 2,500 K +
Warnings : angst, so much angst, it’s only angst, car accident, death, mention of blood
Summary : Reader is involved in a terrible car accident. Her last thoughts are for her husband and their kids.
Note : Don’t hate me please but I’m such in angst mood recently, god. I’m sorry this is just pure sadness, nothing else. I listened to the song Lay me down by Sam Smith during my writting, the feels this man give me, insane. Bruuuh im so sad. 
Masterlist & Requests
(im fucking angry bc the spaces I let between the sentences appear on the tumblr website but not on the tumblr app on my phone, this is so ugly grrr, tell me if it show in one block for you ???)
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@/ none of these gifs are mine xx
You couldn’t move, your body was out of control. You couldn’t see, your vision was blurred by the shock and the blood flowing from your forehead. You couldn't hear anything except the incessant buzzing echoing through your ears. You were cold, so cold. And exhausted, you eyelids were so heavy suddenly, you tried to fight the sleep but it was useless. You vaguely felt someone touching your face, talking to you but none of these words made any sense. Something cleaned your vision and then you saw it. The taxi where you were few minutes prior, completely and violently crushed. A white sheet covering a body next to it. You saw the horrified faces of the people looking at you, from the other side of the road. You saw the sticky scarlet liquid forming a large puddle around your body, the intense scent of metal made your stomach churned sickly. You could literally feel the blood leaving your frame, the cold and exhaustion replacing the usual warm and energy running through you. You knew what was going on. The inevitable and cruel Grim Reaper was coming for you, the shadow of her black cloak slowly making her way through your vision. You weren’t ready for her, not now, not so soon. You had so much thing you wanted to do. But no one escaped her. You felt a tear rolling on your face, rejoining the drops of blood and you couldn’t make the difference between them. Then another one, again and again. You cried, desperately and painfully, the agonising wait was breaking your heart. You coughed weakly, feeling blood escaping your mouth and you knew it wasn’t a good sign at all. It was the end of the road for you and you cried even harder. Not because you were dying, no. Because you thought of all the peoples you let behind you.
Roger, your amazing husband. Your two beautiful daughters. Your newborn son, he was so young...You were abandoning them.
You slowly felt your eyes closed and your last moment with your family came to your mind, your last thought were for them.
“Roger, are you sure you can handle the kids alone ?” You asked a bit hesitant. Roger was a wonderful father but three whole days just him and your three kids...you were worried. “I can come back tomorrow morning if–“
You should have stay,
“Darling, relax” Your husband pressed a kiss on your cheek with a cocky smile. “You had the kids all by yourself for the last three months when I was away, touring” He intertwined your fingers and pressed them in a reassuring gesture. “You deserved your spa weekend, alright ? We gonna be fine, I can do it honey.”
They’re gonna be fine, Roger promised you,
You smiled fondly and nodded eagerly. “I know you can do it Rog, you’re the best dad” You looked at the little bundle in his arms, your six months baby boy was tugging on his father’s necklace with his tiny fists which completely melted your heart. “And the best husband too” You gave him a sweet kiss, his hand gently rubbing your tense neck.
If only you had know it was your last time in his arms…
“You damn right, I am !” He grinned and took your bag in his hand walking toward the door. “Come on, I don’t want to see your pretty ass back here until you’re completely relaxed” You pouted and peppered your son’s face with small kisses. “Girls ! Come say goodbye to Mommy !”
If you had know you would never see their pretty faces again...
You gave a tight hugs to your daughters and swallowed nervously, you never had been away from your last born for so long, your heart sank in your chest as you already missed your little family.
And you will never stop missing them,
“I bought some infant milk  if mine isn’t enough for the weekend so you should be fine” Roger rubbed his palm on your cheek, listening to you with a sweet smile. “You still got the list with all the important numbers on it, right ?”
It should have been enough until your return...but you would never come back,
“Yes, darling. I even got the spa number, I will call you everyday, me and the kids, telling all about our exciting adventures.
The phone will ring but you wouldn’t answer it,
“Don’t forget our little angle can’t sleep without his green blanket, the one with–“
The smell of your newborn baby still lingered in your nose,
“The one with a turtle on it, I know honey” He cut you with a quick kiss on your mouth.
The taste of Roger’s lips was drowning under the metallic one,
“And please brush the girls’ hairs or they gonna have horrible knots the day after and it’s really a nightmare to deal with” You rambled for few more minutes about everything you could think of, “Do we got enough nappy? I should check just to be sure–“
You would never braid the beautiful hairs of your amazing girls,
“Darling, breath” He chuckled gently and rubbed his nose against yours, his large hand caressing your waist, making sure he didn’t crush the little one still in his arms. “I promise you, I can handle it. And when you come back, we’re gonna call the travel agency and set up holidays somewhere were they put little umbrella in our cocktails, just you and me. No kids and no clothes on.” He winked and you blushed slightly. After all these years this cocky bastard could still make your cheeks burned easily.
You could still feel the warm of his hand on your waist,
“Can we go back to the house you rented for our honeymoon ? I swear this is the paradise on earth” You hummed happily against his lips.
You were breaking your promise to renew your wedding vows every five years,
“Hot weather and sandy beach, babe, I’m definitively in” You both chuckled, memories of the two weeks you spent there few years ago, you certainly had a good time. “We could even try for a baby number four, hmm ?”He rubbed your empty stomach with a cheeky smile.
Of course you would have carry his baby,
“In your dream, Taylor. Three kids is enough” You replied as you shook your head, an amused grin on your lips.
But he would never know you weren’t serious when you said no,
“Alright, if you say so” He rolled his eyes dramatically and pushed you to the door, “Now go, your taxi is probably here”
This stupid taxi, you should have take your own car,
“Alright, I love you” You gave a deep and loving kiss to your incredible husband and the twins made a disgusting noises, Roger shushed them away with a laugh.
Roger’s wonderful laugh resonating one more time in your ears,
“We love you, darling. See you in three days” The blond smiled widely and waved a little goodbye with the tiny hand of your son.
I love you too my loves, so much,
You blew them a kiss and finally get out the house, ready for three relaxing days, your heart beating heavily in your chest. You knew Roger and the kids will be fine.
Roger and the kids will be fine but for you it was over.
Roger didn’t answer the phone call from the hospital that night, he was trying to put the terrible twins in bed, so they called your second emergency contact, Freddie, your best friend. Sadly, he was the one who had to rang Roger, multiple times, until he answered, annoyed :
“What ?” He sighed at his friend and band mate’s voice, “Freddie I’m trying to put the girls–“
“Roger, I’m at the hospital, you need to come here immediately” The blond felt his heart sank at the broken voice of his friend, he was always the cheerful one.
“Are you okay ? What’s going on ? Are you hurt Fred ?”
“It’s not about me...it’s (Y/N)” He swallowed loudly, trying to repress the sobs growing inside him. “Please, I can’t do that through the phone, come to the hospital.
Roger froze at your name, fear shaking his body from the head to the toes.
“Freddie, tell me what’s going on ? Give the phone to (Y/N), I want to speak to her” He was freaking out, Freddie wasn’t clear about what was wrong with his other half and couldn’t believe something happen to you, not you.
“Roger, called a fucking cab and come here, Brian and John are on there way too” Freddie let a choking sob escaping his mouth, he knew their lives will never be the same.
“I want to speak to my wife Freddie !” He yelled through the phone, his eyes watering dangerously as the idea of something terrible happened to you.
“Daddy, what’s wrong with uncle Fred ?” Roger repressed a sob at the sight of his daughters, worry painting of their pretty faces.
“I’m coming Freddie” He hanged the phone with a shaky hand. “Uncle Freddie is fine but we need to go to the hospital girls, now.” He walked to his son bedroom and put his sleepy frame in his travel seat, attaching it carefully then they all went to the entrance of the house, the girls following quietly. They knew something was wrong.
“Why are we going to the hospital ? Is Mommy okay ?”
Roger closed his eyes at his daughter’s question then breath quietly, “I don’t know, sweetheart. I don’t know”
The hallway of the hospital was endless and he finally reached the desk to ask about his wife, he heard Brian’s voice from behind :
“Rog” He was crying silently, his face broken in a devastated grimace.
Roger walked to him, his face pale and devoured by the worry.
“Where she is ?” John and Freddie joined them, both of their faces wet and sorrowful. “Tell me what’s going on, please” Roger whispered with a broken voice, thinking at the worst possibility.
“Hey girls, would come with me and have a little snack with us ?” Veronica gently asked, a little bit off but the twins immediately nodded, she gently took the seat with the sleepy baby inside and left toward the waiting room.
It was only Roger, Freddie, John and Brian. None of them wanted to talk, breaking the sad new to their brother.
“The taxi was driving too fast, he lost the control of the car, you know with all the rain” Freddie murmured slowly, pressing a friendly hand on his shoulder. “He couldn’t avoid the truck coming from the other way. They tried to save (Y/N) but...they couldn’t”
“I’m so sorry Roger” John whispered to his friend and wiped the tears on his face, he wasn’t the time for that, Roger needed their help.
“Is she dead ?” The drummer didn’t recognised his weak voice. “(Y/N) is dead ?” He breathed heavily as the information slowly processed to his brain.
“Yes” Brian chocked and immediately caught Roger as his knees gave up under the weight of this simple word.
He hugged tightly his brother, apologising between painful sobs. The blond broke down in his arms, crying from the bottom of his soul, the grief burning a hole in his chest. He couldn’t believe you were dead. You were supposed to live so many more years, watching your kids grow up, graduate, have their first love, grow old with Roger in this cute little house in the deep english countryside that both of you wanted to buy for your old days...He couldn’t face the life without you by side. You were his whole world and now you were gone.
Roger asked to see you, the boys walked him to your hospital bed where you were laying, pale and lifeless. He didn’t recognise you at first, the rough bruises and concussions hiding your usual pretty face but he knew it was you. Your chipped nail polish that you asked him a million time to do and your beautiful wedding ring were still there, attesting of the truth of the devastating situation. It was you.
Roger grabbed your body, you seemed so thin and small in his arms, and he enveloped you in a last embrace, clutching to you desperately as the stream of tears kept falling in his cheeks.  The boys gave him some intimacy for the goodbye, heartbreaking and infinitely unfair. When it was time to leave after like it seemed just a minute for Roger, John gently rubbed his back, telling him his children were reclaiming him, they wanted their dad.
“I love you baby, so much. And I’m going to miss you until the day I die”  He took a deep breath, begging himself to stop crying. Your children needed him and you would be so mad if he wasn’t here for them. “I know we will meet again my angel, if it’s not in this life, it will be in another one, I promise you”
The drummer reluctantly pressed a last kiss on your cold lips and let you go.
Roger and the children went to Freddy’s place for the night, at least. He didn’t tell the girls yet, he didn’t know how. Nothing never prepared him to announce to his six years old twins that their mom was gone, absolutely nothing. He will do it tomorrow, he hadn’t the strength right now. Freddie nicely put himself the girls in bed and left the baby with Rog, sleeping peacefully next to him. His gaze drifted in the room, even if he was exhausted he couldn’t sleep, not with this pain crushing his heart.  His eyes fell on a little paper on the floor, right under his coat. He stoop up quickly, knowing immediately what it was. He grabbed the note and chocked a sob when he recognised your handwriting. You used to put little post-it in the house or in his pockets with sweet words on it, telling you loved him or to break a leg for his gig. You must have put in this morning before you left for your weekend. He rubbed his glassy eyes and read the note :
I hope you and the kids gonna have fun this weekend, please don’t burn the house when I’m away ! If you do, don’t forget to rescue our photo albums !
Ps : I’m kidding my love, I know you will rock it with our kids, your the best dad and husband I could wish for (even if you pretend to snore when the baby wake up in the middle of the night...yes I know, you’re an awful actor, stick to the drumming !)
I love you and I see you on monday xx
A noise between a sob and a laugh escaped Roger’s throat, a sad smile painting his tired features, even in the worst situation you could still make him smile.
“I love you too my pretty girl” He whispered, holding the note tightly against his pulsating chest, right above his broken heart. “So much”
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zishuwu · 5 years
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hey! i dont know if you celebrate thanksgiving, but in the spirit! tag some of your closest friends on here to show you're grateful if you want to!
hi!! i don’t usually but 4 u i will!!! these r just a couple!! ok ok 
@love4marklee ally is probably one of my really close friends on here bc ,,, wow,,, what DONT i tell ally abt ngl.... its INSANE. like smth happens n im like. ally. ull NEVER believe what just happened. n allys like aw shit here we go again,,, angel can u NEVER sit still. n here we r. ally literally means the most to me n i love her with all my heart soul body astral projection,,,, ive known her for,,, too long now n oh shit? i genuinely love her thank u for everything ally :) u make me sosoosososo happy n ways u dont understand and thats OK !!! i just love the dumb tiktoks u send n have a scary ability of messaging exactly when i open the app or when ive just left the house to go out. its wild . i appreciate all of ur messages tho dont get it twisted i love u sosososo much :)
@1beloved N^2 WILL NEVER DIE. if nao n i ever meet,,,, the absolute CHAOS. that would happen,,,, oh, my, gods, y’all r lucky we live in diff places,,,, but one day y’all will COWER in our strength bc i too love nao with my everything !!! naos so cool n cute n chaotic,,,, what DOESNT nao have??? they remind me of like cooler nights in the city just chilling with friends n like. raving in the middle of target or smth nao is SO COOL n im eternally grateful to have met her and to be her friend,,,, wow,,,, N UR BASS VIDEOS,,,, I HOPE ITS OK,,,, but like i love it !! u playh for me n show me ur progress n im!! always so excted!!! aaaHh!!!
@doublelutz  hi!!!! asma,,,, wow,,,,, WOW,,,,, there r so many things to say i could not even begin nor end its INSANE but i adore u all the same !!! asmas so cool and funny and absolutely adorable! her antics and storytelling ability never fails to make me laugh :”) she talks rlly fast on the phone n like i just brain slow mode n im like. hello. n then she GIGGLES n its like. whooooosh !! uk!!!! im just really really grateful for asma :) she’s amazing n wonderful n caring n kind n considerate n i rlly cld go on forever like wow heart emoji personified for asma n asma ONLY. boom boom POW i love u !!!
@xiaocity hello siya :( listen. siya just. SIYA. uk ?? n ive uve ever talked to siya i can guarantee that u were endeared in all ways possible shes so DYNAMIC n like whoosh boom boom pow crush!!!!! she kills everything she does. shes like a+ here a+ there oh look? im the best person alive? yeah . yeah she IS . like thats my BABY
@perks-of-being-a-violinist hannah!!!! hi i feel like i met hannah two months ago but suddenly i tell hannah abt everything like im like a five yr old talking to hannah im so unsure as to why she still talks to me im like that kid who draws this absolute terrible drawing n is like LOOK BE PROUD OF ME n hannah is the one who sighs n tapes it on the fridge. yeah. but i loev hannah for everything n anything like hannah will breathe n ill be liketake notes angel. thats how u be amazing. like hannah is just all around a great person?? shes kind and wonderful and cool n im so sos o so so grateful im friends w her. she makes me rlly happy n im like wow! shes so positive n like look on the bright side!!!! n im like boo emo n she like ok. but positivity n uk what. i respect that. im grateful for her. 
@leoomoon SAMAAAAAAAAA hello!!!! i love  u!!!! me n samaa talk once a century or week or two n im like. adoration face? on. i just. love samaa w every inch of my body n soul like i cant help that!!! u message back n my braincells flip theyre like its samaaa its SAMAA pick up ur phone fuck biology pick up the PHONEEEEEE its odd but. thats how that works !! u also make me really reallylyyy happy !! samaa,,, best person alive? yes. theyre like hi im here for u n the times u fuck up n im like !! same for u !! but this time i did smth REALLY dumb ,,, n theyre like sigh,,,, why r u always doing such last minute crap,,,, n iim like. ik i do this to myself but. pls. KNJDFKJNSDJKNFJKDKJF idk samaa is just so cool n nice n SUPER UBER cool n understanding n compassionate i cld go on for centuries rlly but ill stop here w a im grateful for u :)
@limitlessjohnny aaaaAAAAh last but def CERTAINLY not least. hayden is like,,, whoooooo!!! if i dont talk to hayden at least once im like. is smth wrong.... maybe i shld send an ily. thats it there we go. n thats that !!! id k i just like get worried rlly fast ! if im on insta,,, im probably talking to hayden ! i love them sm sm sm !! they dont mind when im dumb or when i respond late when im sleeping !! n they always tell me to get rest n somehow know when im awake??? FREAKY. but appreciated habit. they also tell me cool stories !!! like they tell me things they do n places they go n things to keep in mind abt college n life advice hello older sibling i wish i had :( i love love love hayden sm !! aaaaAAAAAh !!!! i rlly cld go on n on w hayden n how cool they are!! but i shldnt forget to mention im grateful for how sympathetic n open they are !! i rlly value tht n like aim to be so open?? wow??? omg
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hhhongseok · 5 years
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PENTAGON: First Impressions VS Now! 
   since it's ptg's 3rd anniversary, and i've been an uni for over a year now, i thought it would be a fun idea to compare my first thoughts about all the members to how i think of them now! i got the idea from i got7 inspirits on youtube, so check them out if you're interested!
OT10
then:
I first heard "gorilla" back when it released, but since i avoided stanning rookies at the time- i decided to give it some time before stanning. flash foward to august 2018 where my interest is piqued again. at that time last year, i had thought that they were pretty cute but having literally only heard gorilla and then shine, i was caught off guard by their sound change. It wasn't bad per say- just different. overall, i knew pentagon would be a group that i'd like- but more along the lines of a casual thing. 
now:
y'all already know how whipped i am for these idiots!!! their music and videos and even choreos are my style completely, especially their cute concepts!! we love dancing infants! and also, they're all such throughly good people which makes me so happy. this isn't a casual stan thing in the slightest, and it's funny to think I ever believed it would be. 
Hui: 
then:
when i saw him in shine, i thought he was a d o r k. i think it was the way they styled his hair, but i was just very convinced that he was pretty lame lmao. after that though, i saw how cute he was and he became my bias for a while. i remember thinking at one point that he seemed like an exasperated dad?? i didn't really have any basis for it but that observation was there nonetheless. 
now:
exasperated dad? more like hyper 3 year old. hes literally one of the loudest and most energetic. what was i on. but i think hes the most precious and clingiest little toddler now!! i was right about the dork thing though, but its super cute how goofy and lame he is. also!! talent for days!! his dancing, singing (his falsetto is !!), composing is all incredible. the most important thing though? a godly leader. he's so caring and kind and full of love for his members it hurts me. we don't really see a serious leader hui, but thats okay because i think it means he tries to keep uni and ptg in good spirits by showing them cheerfulness. and that's amazing to me.
Jinho: 
then:
my most notable thought about jinho in shine was "how is he that small". i remember thinking it was cute how he pushed the giant one too, lmao. i didn't think much else of him beyond that, other than noticing how adorable he can be. 
now:
ok yeah, jinho is cute and tiny and whatever- but now i Understand the power that he holds. how he looks with his hair pushed back for example. or how about that bruno mars cover he did with hui. (hhhhnngg). also?? he's not even That small. the ones that make him look itty bitty are Literally just giants. but aside from his appearance, jinho is probably my favorite vocalist like!! i appreciate him s o much. (listen to his cover of gethsemane and last night of october for clear skin) of course jinho is also very cute though!! so i was right about that at least! he just also has many other great sides to him that i worry are overlooked!
Hongseok: 
then:
i didn't,,,notice him. at ALL. like i just glossed over his existence completely when i first saw shine. and even after that- it took me a minute to pay him any mind. when i did finally notice him though, i noticed his smile. i remember i was watching videos with my girlfriend and i pointed him out to her! that was mostly because i felt bad for not really having any strong opinion on him though oops. anyways i ended up just thinking he was a mom. and i was really impressed by his english and strength.
now:
real talk, it pained me to write all of that out!! bc now?? omg hong is my everything- but thats kind of obvious. anyways!! hes so  f u nn y !!! its absolutely a stupid kind of funny and hes definitely annoying but i adore it. also the mom thing is only kind of true. he has the capacity to be maternal and take care of them, but he's way more likely to make fun of literally every single member. he's more like an older brother that never leaves his siblings alone and thinks he's funnier than he is. and we hate him for it. anyways, his voice is So underrated im. angery. he has such a beautiful voice, just in general, and on top of that- his singing is lovely. like yes, more hong solo please. 
Hyojong: 
then:
i definitely took note of him immediately! his voice is very distinctive, and he stands out a lot in shine. which is really saying something. i thought he was really talented for sure! and i almost felt he was too cool for me to be looking at. i kind of got the vibe he'd be pretty icy i guess? 
now:
he's not intimidating at all. like not even a little bit. bc he's not taking himself as seriously as i thought he was lmao. also hes so   l o u d . and a plant man. but i think the best thing about edawn is his unpredictability! i never really know what to expect from him and i like that. 
Shinwon:
then:
i thought he was HOT. i already thought he was handsome in the 0.3 seconds of screentime he got in shine. but a friend of mine showed me clips of him from that couples game video and. o o f. i really couldn't get over how pretty he was. it didn't help that this was the same video where him and kino were doing that dance. personality wise, i don't remember much standing out to me. other than how easily scared he is.
now:
shinwon is soooo embarrassing. i wouldn't say hes completely shameless about it though, but he's shameless to the point of actually doing the stupid shit so im. still enraged about it. he legitimately makes me physically look away sometimes when im watching a video and he's being weird. theyre all my kids, and i love them. but he's the child im ashamed of lmao. moving on, hes a real cutie pie. that fact that he gets so scared so easily is both really funny and super endearing. but he's just a playful baby and im honestly glad that hes has so much fun.
Changgu:
then:
i noticed him less than hongseok. like i dont think i had a single notable first impression of him. 
now:
past dess was one entire Doofus huh. like changgu is a whole ass blessing to this planet and you mean to tell me that she overlooked him??!! anyways, though, he has an elephant heart for sure. such a genuinely empathetic and truly kind person!! he never fails to warm my heart with his sincerity and i love that about him. he's also part of the idiot squad though, with how he goes along with hong's antics. we hate that. and all his impressions + dumb faces. speaking of faces though,,, his acting?? i love it!! he's really talented, like when i watch pretty pretty i kind of forget that changgu is even playing a role. and his d a n c i n g!! underrated dance king! underrated king in general, how about that. 
Yanan:
then:
my first bias in ptg!!! i fell in love with him instantly! i loved how tall he is, and the white hair and his  i c o n i c "my baby"!! like i was whipped from the gate. i remember liking his duality back then too!!
now:
ok so, since he was bias immediately, i noticed more about him than anyone else. which means i have less to write oops. but thats okay because at least i had a bit of taste back then. but, yanan is hilarious. he's so clever and funny and you can tell how effortless it is. most iconic ptg sayings are something from yanan and thats just amazing. the big thing i notice now that i didn't really before, though, is that fact that his duality is so shocking because he's literally just as unpredictable as hyojong. its impossible to really tell what hes going to do next, and i think it catches people off guard more with yanan because even that aspect of him is unexpected. 
Yuto:
then:
i thought he was kinda scary!! idk he seemed so cold and i couldn't really relate to that so i didn't grow very attached to him. 
now:
he's so pure!!! hes said that he has a hard time expressing his feelings but i don't really see it? because he always seems so happy to be around ptg and having fun with them even if he isn't usually the one playing around!! he loves them so much tbh and its the sweetest thing :( everything about yuto is so sweet, because he cares a lot about the people around him and doesn't want anyone to get hurt- even if its fake or a joke. and like, he's really hardworking too!! ptg have said multiple times that he works the hardest, and that really is saying something imo! and like, you can just see it even without being told that. whether its his workout journey pentory or the fact that he's literally been learning guitar. also!! omg the lyrics he writes?? heartwarming, romantic and life changing!! seasons and cosmo made me a different person. but yeah, he's such an amazing, warm person and i cant believe i found him scary. 
Kino:
then:
i thought he was the main vocal. like no joke, he was so charismatic and flaunting so  much in shine that i was like "ah yes. the main vocalist" hhhggg. i remember thinking he was pretty though, and that his stage name was super cute. but i wasn't very interested in learning about him, despite how he really caught my eye. for some reason, though, i eventually got the thought that he was really pure.
now:
main vocal hdzfhh kino relax you're confusing ppl. of course he has an amazing voice and it always sounds incredible but!! what amuses me is the way he sings always sounds kinda like he's trying to be sexy and?? its so funny in ballads and stuff imo. but yeah, that "sensual"?? singing is what threw me off back then. buf more importantly, i just wanna mention the pure thing- because its a confusing situation. on one hand, kino has a heart of gold that not only adores uni but is also accepting. as well as how he's constantly bringing light into the world with his words and truly bright outlook. but on the other hand he's a demon that dances like That and is so dangerous when he wants to be!! so!! what's it gonna be kino, make up your mind :( anyways, listen to knnovations. esp bad timing and 224.12!!
Wooseok:
then:
i loved him instantly. he looked like an overgrown 10 year old in my eyes and that's just. precious. i thought he was pretty funny too!! 
now:
if i took off my hong glasses for long enough, id be able to say that i think he's the funniest in ptg. because he's so hilarious in my eyes like? he makes me do an ugly wheeze laugh, and a lot of my favorite ptg moments involve him in some way lmao. but he is actually a baby, so i was onto something there with the overgrown 10 y/o thing. despite being really funny though, i do think he tends to be quiet more often than like hui or shinwon and he hardly ever smiles, unless he's like laughing and thats makes me think that he's kind of awkward?? not in like a bad way, but i just kind of see that i guess. but!! something that i think is passed over a lot with woo is the fact that he usually has a hand in composing, and also that he writes his raps?? like that's so cool, we love that!! 
ok! so that was my lame little essay lmao. i hoped you liked if you read it all! im just glad to say that i really appreciate pentagon as a whole, and how much joy they bring into my life nowadays!! i feel like ive found a place to call my own with uni and with pentagon :)
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inkskinned · 6 years
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literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips
source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole
just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names
talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-. 
if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.
physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.
nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you
about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound. 
this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!
no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.
you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.
if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.
college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff
oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest
i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.
if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.
white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)
steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush
write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall
DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.
like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.
PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.
also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.
you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.
watch kaplan nike just do it 
if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.
“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.
the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.
i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!
literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.
i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh
take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.
make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it 
the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression. 
if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost. 
don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out
don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed 
on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.
when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it
ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”
get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it
the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes
bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect
switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense
when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried
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rontra · 5 years
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ANONYMOUS ASKED:
i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)
REPLY:
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YES!!!!
umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....
also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD
mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE
LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting
https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees
it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and  stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so  i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The  Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is  good, anyway!!!!)  
Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)
Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie
Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim
krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it
honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age
also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!
-
USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.
the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,
anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.
Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,
KINZOS
OLDEST
SON
DISAPPEARS
!!!!!
Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....
obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)
Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.
basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”
all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.
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Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........
(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)
mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.
during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)
(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)
Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.
i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny
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(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)
now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.
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AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance
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and this one
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so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.
(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)
they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.
natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.
and its VERY hot
anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....
and then they.....fall...in l
there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.
DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING
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BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!
and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month
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