#im feeling really poetic 4 no reason

[guitarhero-3]

even if i am not aromantic or asexual in the future i really really appreciate the aspec community. all of you are so wonderful and welcoming and i am so thankful for all of u every single one of yall

[where-nothing-is-tagged]

im not going to be overly critical or say too much yet because I feel like I don't have enough info and I haven't read enough of this to really say anything major but I think a lot of the things I'm personally not liking so far seem really reminiscent to me of all the things I didn't like in oshiro's works, there's a similar quality and pattern to the things that are making me go :/ that aligns pretty well imo with the patterns that made me go :/ in his works I read in prep for that which sucks because I really want to enjoy what oshiro brings to the table... I dont want to call any of it "flaws" as there's definitely a point where art is just subjective (I mean he's a publishes author so he's doing something right for sure) but there's these same "hang ups" that keep appearing that's just not good? it's like reading a poem and nothing is clicking and it's not like I don't get it, I can understand what's being put in front of me, it's just... not good.... oof... it's like all the issues beginners make in writing to me.... there's no emotion there's no depth there's no build there's no reconnection of the story to deeper themes there's nothing that makes your breath catch or your heart stop or even to make you laugh- if you can't be emotionally introspective at least be funny...? I feel like each of us a desert was at least somewhat better than this because it was a world and characters oshiro designed themselves and he knew how to play with and that creates some semi-interesting and semi-unique concepts and plots and characters but instead here we have oshiro being handed dolls and a world he didn't build so of course it comes off like fanfic and it's just.... Will feels like arm candy rather than a person, there's more telling than showing going on....

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[nvuy]

How do you write so well? I'm trying to get into writing because I YEARN to create, but it is very difficult. Do you have any tips? I try and create, but it feels like there is a brick wall in my brain 😫 I also struggle to come up with ideas 😭😭

oh worm thank you so much im so honoured… i don’t want to just say ‘practise,’ even though that is half of quite literally improving in anything.

i am going to long post now. you’re welcome. this is my little guide to writing. in no way am i saying my writing is perfect and world class five stars, but this is just some things i learned along the way that helped me get better!!!

now this is all assuming considering you read my works that you also want to write reader inserts, but even if that’s not the case, i think all this stuff applies to normal writing as well.

what i do like to think is that ‘good writing’ is very very subjective. for example, i prefer much more philosophical pieces, ambiguous endings, extensive world building, and things like that, and i like to put it in my writing.

however, what you may like about my writing could be what someone else absolutely hates. not everyone can be bothered to read 4 pages on a heavy description of a quiet deserted street in the rain, or a dusty old library , or the bustling atmosphere of a cafe. some writers like to do scenarios without fully developed plots. some do.

WRITING IN A NUT SHELL

what really helps is to find where you lie on this spectrum. do you prefer overtly poetic descriptive writing, or straight to the point, no beating around the bush? or does it depend?

i know it’s sounds taxing to write heavy descriptions and worldbuilding and this and that, but if you like to read it, chances are you may also like to write it yourself.

this is a tip i lowkey thought was common sense, but i’ve spoken to moots on discord and other platforms about it, and a lot of writers just… don’t know about it?

basically it’s that A First Draft is a First Draft. this has been said time and time again. j.r. tolkein didn’t write LOTR in a day, rowling did not write the entire harry potter series in one shot. nobody did that.

as well as this, my first drafts never start out as fully fledged stories. most of them look like this:

notice the obnoxiously large gap in between? yep! two entirely different scenes, but under the same concept. you don’t need cohesion in your drafts. that comes with time. get all your ideas down first.

my first drafts are awful. they’re absolute dogshit. most of the time, i abandon a lot of my works altogether. but i never delete anything, because sometimes i may come back and suddenly get inspiration again.

most of my first drafts look like this:

notice how it lacks with everything. there’s no flavour here. it’s incredibly dialogue heavy, and it’s clearly supposed to have some sort of surreal feeling to it.

come back to it later only when i feel like it and rewrite it only when you feel like it:

same concept, same exact scene, but now it has more emotion. because i’ve written it a second time, or maybe even a third, or fourth (anymore than that, and im sorry, but drop it. it’s doing you more harm than good). so many people hit this writers block because they want their first draft to be perfect and it won’t ever be.

don’t focus on the itty bitty details. get the idea down first. you can always come back later. it really really helps to get out of ruts and stuff.

another thing: You Don’t Need To Start With Writing Fanfics Right Away. and i wouldn’t recommend it. not doubting you, or any other young bright-eyed writers, but fanfics are gruelling work that require lots and lots of planning.

i would honestly recommend getting started and finding comfort with one shots and/or headcanons, or drabbles, or whatever else short fics are called, because they require a lot less dedication, and it’s a lot more fun, because you can spring from one idea to another. majority of my works are short fics for a reason. it’s a lot easier to write, and i personally find it more enjoyable :) try it out!

IDEAS: WORLDBUILDING

(this next segment is assuming your fic wants to take place in a different area than canon) (otherwise, check out descriptions/images/videos of the place your world is supposed to be set in!! same idea!!)

if you’re unsure about worldbuilding and what exactly this place you’re creating is supposed to look like or how it might function, browse pinterest! there’s so many real and/or fake & rendered places on that site. is your area really cold and constantly snowing? search up some art with those key words. it could help you gain a clearer image!

let’s use an example: say the world im building my fic is based in a very cold, always snowing, always icy town. we go on pinterest, have a bit of a look around, and then we go Ooh this looks interesting!!

this is a painting by alexander andriyanov.

who are these people? where are they? what’re they doing? is horseback and carriage their primary mode of transport? do these people have access to vehicles like cars? do cars exist in my world at all? what are the surrounding buildings? etc etc.

TLDR: what im trying to say is if it helps you, look at something, listen to music, watch a movie, and then ask the question How Do I Make This About Me?

this speedpaint by darek zabrocki helped me get an idea of what snezhnaya in my multi chapter fic on ao3 was supposed to look like. obviously snezhnaya isn’t released in genshin just yet, so it allows me a lot of creative freedom in that regard.

you can always always use other people’s works as inspiration. why do you think so many songs these days use samples from older tracks? it’s basically the same thing. obviously, don’t downright copy, that’s plagiarism, but seriously. if you’re struggling to create this world in your head, pinterest is your best friend.

IDEAS: PLOTS & THE CENTRAL CONFLICT

in terms of coming up with actually plot ideas, i said it before and i’ll say it again. movies, shows, games, other people’s stories, other fanfics/books, paintings and other forms of artwork, history, etc.

if you’re writing a fanfic, most writers like to take the canon route, and you’re welcome to do that.

if you’re worried about your own ideas being lacklustre or you can’t think of anything, but the canon storyline is good for your fic, canon divergence is always fun!

for example! i haven’t posted it here, but i always did have this idea of a neuvillette centric fic based on the love letter he received in one of the world quests. so you take something that happened in the game, and then you ask AGAIN: How Do I Make This About Me?

in terms of thinking up an entirely different idea or concept or prompt or whatever you want to call it, there’s honestly no right or wrong way of doing it. it’s really, really difficult though. i have so many ideas that are more suitable for one shots that fully fledged fanfictions.

again, read books you like. read other people’s works. read lore of the fandom you’re writing about, or better yet, sometimes i go off of a fleeting thought that a random NPC said at some point in the storyline that had little to no effect on the story.

what constitutes as a good plot and a bad plot is a matter of opinion. as long as there’s evident improvement (or the opposite, if that’s your fancy) of your characters in your story, whether that be their personality, relationship with others, or whatever, then you’ve successfully written a cohesive narrative.

how most of my works start is actually because i randomly come up with one scene in my head that haunts me. i call them Brain Rots™.

for example, in my scaramouche fic on ao3, the scene that started the entire thing was of some sort of solider that presented a ring to the doctor in a very cold and barren wasteland.

and then i asked, what is the significance of this ring? is the solider injured? should the doctor care? why are they there in the first place? where is this place? where do they go after this?

hopefully you get the picture.

TLDR: figure out what makes your Brain Rot™ about the particular scene that’s playing on repeat in your head, find your inspiration through any sort of media you enjoy consuming that you find directly links to your ideas (because most likely if you enjoy something, you’ll be inspired by it more than you would with something you actively don’t like) (and this ‘media’ ranges from pictures, real life anecdotes/stories, video games, other fics, music, art, etc.), ask questions (How Do I Make This About Me), and then answer them yourself!!!!

and also just practise and practise and practise!!! you will subconsciously develop new skills by consuming media and reading other people’s works that you really like. it all comes with time :) !!!!!

[darylsfavoritegirl]

okkokk a bit ranting but i noticed the oneshots ive written here between january (which was when i started writing on this acc) and may WERE FIREEEEE well atleast to me bc ive reread some of em (and yes i'll admit i have made such amateur mistakes but..) and like those feel so poetic, a piece of literature fr💀 and im saying all this because im writing a one shot after a few months (4 months maybe lol) and it just doesn't feel the same... like maybe it's me and my dumb ass thoughts or im being too hard on myself idk but it's to come out in a few days -hopefully-

well small fun facts abt me💔😥 uhm i think the reason is, i'm a language student and i don't live in a eng speaking country but during school, i have 15-20 hours worth of eng classes+homework like yk every week obv and that shit skyrocketed my eng throughout the entire yearrrr. i mean everything. the way i view the language, use it (which wasn't something i thought i was capable of till this) etc etc. im also certain abt this i be taking pilot eng tests and my scores have been so unsteady so yeah -it was never this unsteady during school-

i still consume a great deal of english media but i guess learning it at school, always practicing and exercising your brain for one matter only is different from watching rupauls drag race 😭

anyway school starts in two weeks, and i hope i'll be back in the tracks as i was and put something out here regularly -which is something i really really hope because i wanna hop on to different fandoms and broaden my horizon alongside with my writing- but yeah this year is gon be tense for me guys😥 i guess i'll have to bust my ass

maybe no one cares but whatever

[monosanimegenericzone]

Hunter x Hunter: Tattoos

gwuh im looking at old fanarts of the phantom troupe and imagining different spider tattoo placements.

they're all rougly the same size relative to the person theyre on which is very hard to believe since we've seen a great number of them shirtless with no hint of a spider tattoo. looking directly at you feitan. and we got it confirmed that kortopi's isn't on his face, which is the real loss here :( it was on his face in spirit i just know it.

assuming that we can't have repeat locations, that elminates the small of the back, the left front torso, and between shoulderblades. and right palm if we're counting omokage but allegedly he's not canon so.

so that leaves a number of options that only apply to the few troupe members we haven't seen get their shirts ripped off. my top five coolest locations

option 1: Back of the neck. i think it would be super sexy to just have a spider crawling up or down the neck with its legs wrapping around the throat. it's not applicable to anyone in the troupe since most wear uncollared clothing. it could have been feitan but then he had several shots showing his clean neck. bonolenov as well. which leaves kortopi.

option 2: thigh. personally i give that to shalnark -at least the left thigh- because there's something about a high leg tattoo that feels like he'd get. its the most practical to hide; unless he is going completely nude or getting attacked in the leg, there is little to no reason for it to ever show. that and im choosing to believe the beach mobage cards where he's in swim trunks and we see no tattoo. someone else can have right thigh. probably bono because he also was unbandaged to the boxers and no tattoo.

option 3: calf. going with the theme of legs since we've barely seen most spiders show any ankles- i know, scandelous~~ - I think feitan would get his on his lower leg. because he sounds like the type to take 'being a leg' way too seriously. machi as well purely because. what are those sock things. i want them.

option 4: sternum. It would have been really poetic if chrollo got his in the center of his chest. unfortunately his first appearance has his tits and abs out. sir, put those away. paku also can't for obvious reasons. even though it would have been sexy as hell. idk who would have this really but it'd be very pretty. machi i guess is also an option but i doubt she would choose sternum.

option 5: bicep. a problem again because so many of these fucks wear short sleeves or no sleeves- looking at you shalnark- which leaves franklin and nobunaga as the two that can have bicep tattoos. technically paku as well.

my personal canon for the tattoos: Nobunaga - left bicep, Feitan - right ankle/calf, Machi - left ankle, Hisoka - shoulderblades, Kalluto - right shoulderblade, Phinks - right flank, Shalnark - left thigh, Franklin - right bicep, Shizuku - left torso, Pakunoda - left flank, Bonolenov - right thigh, Uvogin - small of back, Illumi - n/a, Kortopi - back of the neck, Chrollo - ???

if and when i get the ability to draw the troupe i might drop some doodles.

im so abnormal about tattoos its actually insane.

[multishipper-baby]

heyyyss !! dont know if youve talked about this before but i know you have an interest in eakoweddy and/or eakowededdy and i was wondering...

what is your vision of freddeak? (i dunno what theyre called.. sorry) i mean. i can imagine fredeak and eakwynn dynamics but i have some trouble thinking of a dynamic for freddy and eak so i wonder what YOU think of them. im really curious !!

-Vibrates- YES I can absolutely tell you about my freddeak dynamic! I have a lot of thoughts about them, both as a duo and as part of my OT3/4 madness, so I’ll try to explain all that a little. Warning: this is very long and rambly. I'm sorry if you wanted a short answer lmao.

How the ship happens

With this ship, we have a few interesting narrative points we can explore:

Eak is currently working with Owynn in his quest to find shadows, so he’s an antagonistic figure in Freddy’s life.

Eak doesn’t know Freddy has a shadow yet, and Freddy doesn’t know anything about the villains' plans, which means neither of them are aware of their antagonistic relationship yet.

Eak doesn’t actually want to work for Owynn or hurt anyone, but instead is doing it out of a desire to help Cami. This means he’s very likely to betray Owynn if given the opportunity.

So, what can we do with all this? I think it would be very interesting to explore the possibility of Freddy ultimately being the reason Eak decides to leave Owynn’s side, outing the whole plan and leading up to a victory for our heroes. It would be very poetic, I think, for Owynn to lose because someone from his team chose Freddy over him.

But how would we get there? It’s simple- like I’ve mentioned before, we know that Owynn is looking for shadows. Cami is the one who has the magic violin and her ability to control people, but in Ep. 4 Season 2, Owynn asks Eak how the search is going, which leads me to believe that he’s supposed to be doing something offscreen related to finding the shadows. As far as we know, though, Eak doesn’t have any special abilities, so… What is he doing? I like to think he’s the one keeping an eye out for rumors, trying to figure out who could have a shadow through the grapevine- looking for people who talk to themselves, or have odd mood changes, or seem to act differently depending on the day. And because of all this, it’d be easy for him to figure out something could be going on with Freddy, and decide to take a closer look. Especially if he knows Owynn has a special interest in him. So, now we have a reason for the two of them to interact. How would their dynamic work?

I think it would make sense for them to form a very casual friendship, at first- nothing exceptional, just classroom friends. Someone you hang out with at school and like alright, but aren’t close enough to actually invite to your house on the weekends or something. Eak wants to figure out what’s going on with Freddy, but he’s obviously going to look suspicious if he immediately jumps into trying to be best friends after not talking to the guy during most of their school year(s). And with their time together, there’s a chance for things to slowly take a turn.

Eak isn’t evil. He’s willing to do some evil things for the sake of the plan, but it’s clear that he isn't having fun with it the way Owynn is. The only reason he’s even helping with the plan is because he cares so much about Cami, and later, because he’s worried that things going wrong will lead to Towntrap getting hurt. He’s obviously a very loyal guy and, if he even got close to Freddy, I can imagine his loyalty would start getting in the way. So he’d be the perfect character to finally get the animatronics on the loop of what’s actually going on, hoping that they’ll be able to help him (and Cami, and Towntrap) get away from Owynn. I don’t even think Freddy would feel betrayed (although maybe he’d be a bit hurt) by Eak lying to him at first, given how understandable his situation is. I mean, who wouldn’t lie if it’s to save their friends from death? So, they can work together to defeat Owynn and have their little happily ever after.

The dynamic

Okay cool, we have a way for the characters to get close. But how would they actually interact? What kind of relationship would they have?

For starters, I think they would have a good start in the relationship, given the fact that Eak would probably know about Fred from the start- and wouldn't find that all too surprising. Eak is already informed of the shadow world, and of magic in general, so I think he'd be able to help Freddy navigate that part of himself more easily than someone who isn't as aware of it like the animatronics. Not to mention that Eak already knowing who Fred is and what he is means that there's no need for Freddy to hide or feel nervous about him, so that would be a pretty big weight off his shoulders (especially since I think Fred and Eak would get along. I ship them too, after all).

Plus I feel like Freddy deserves someone who's a little too devoted, someone fully ride or die. The animatronics are good and I like all their friendships, but Freddy is always getting dragged into weird shadow stuff and has a villain gunning for him- he needs the guy who would risk his life just to help a friend.

On Eak's side of the whole thing, I think he'd be glad to have someone a little more on his wavelength. Cami and Towntrap are polar opposites in every way- one who's very serious and another that never seems to fully grasp the seriousness of the situation. One who's cold and unfeeling and another who feels things too much. One that's smart and cunning and another who somehow fucks everything up. He loves them, but they're kind of A Lot. Having a partner who's more relaxed, more down to earth could do wonders for him. Someone needs to keep him from going insane, and Owynn definitely isn't going to do that lol.

A thing worth mentioning is how much Freddy teases Fred in Season 2, once their relationship is more friendly, and how much Eak does the same to Towntrap. They would love poking fun at each other and you can't convince me otherwise. They can be a little mean, as a treat <3

Also I have the headcanon that Freddy is touch starved and Eak is canonically very touchy. Freddy who's too shy to say he wants affection x Eak who is so comfortable holding his hand and putting his arm around his shoulders and sitting close enough to touch that he does it constantly. I want good things for Freddy, what can I say?

A tangent about my AU

If you’re not aware, I have an AU called “FHS: Farewell Despair Highschool”, which is a crossover AU with the characters of FHS inserted into the plot of Danganronpa. I’m mentioning this here because working on this AU is actually what really sold me on the ship, so I’d thought it made sense to mention how their relationship works in it. Be warned though that if you haven't played Danganronpa this part might be confusing.

Since the AU takes most of its elements from Danganronpa, I thought it'd be interesting to think about what an actual full game for the AU would be like. Because the entire thing would be completely from Freddy's point of view, all the characters will be filtered through his eyes and they'll need to interact with him for plot and character progression. So, I had to think about how Freddy's relationship would be with all the characters, and how each of those connections would develop as the game progresses and more people die.

During murder investigations, Eak and Freddy end up working together quite often- with Eak being the one that watches over the scene of the crime and examines the corpse most often due to being one of the less squeamish students, while Freddy is the main detective that ends up solving all the cases. Due to this, Eak ends up being on Freddy's side when there's conflict amongst the class, becoming somewhat loyal to him. In his eyes, despite Freddy's flaws, he's still the one that's pushing them all forward by solving the mysteries so far- which means they'd all be dead without him. This becomes especially true given that Freddy's biggest rival is Meg, someone Eak doesn't get along with.

So, our anxiety ridden and zero self-esteem Freddy now has someone on his corner. Eak isn't the only one who's supported him, of course, but by Chapter 4 most of his friends are dead, leaving only Eak and Usagi as his main companions. He feels more confident in his reasoning abilities, given that he's been able to solve everything the game throws at him so far, but emotionally he's breaking down more and more as their numbers drop. He's in need of this small support system he's made for himself more than ever before…

…and then Eak becomes one of the killers. Not to save himself, mind you, but to get rid of all of them. Eak wants them all to die, for a reason he won't specify, but that he assures him is very important. He needs to kill them all for their own good, because he cares about them so much. They need to trust him and choose death. And Freddy doesn't get it, can't understand it, so he lets Eak die to save the rest.

Except he later finds out that Eak was very much telling the truth: he tried to kill them to keep a secret so horrible, so despairing, so awful that it threatens to destroy all of the survivors mentally. But together, they manage to pull through, and find out that everything that's happened to them was only part of a simulation. Which means that they have the chance to reunite with all of the dead students… Eak included.

Now, this AU isn't about freddeak. Not only is it not canon, but it's not even the main relationship Freddy builds in it- that would probably be Freddy and Usagi, or Freddy and Chica, or Freddy and Meg. But I thought the dynamic between these two was very interesting as I examined it more deeply, and I couldn't help but enjoy it a lot. I love the idea of them becoming friends. I love the idea of Eak defending Freddy when he's too unconfident to defend himself. I love the idea of Eak's betrayal, and how it's not actually a betrayal, but an act of love towards his classmates. I love how later learning the truth about what happened reframes it almost like it was Freddy who betrayed him, by not believing in him while Eak always believed in Freddy. I love the idea of them reuniting and working through their awful trauma together. It's very detached from anything canon, but it certainly won me over.

I actually have thought more about their reunion and the “post game” storyline and all that other stuff but that also has a lot to do with a larger group dynamic and both their relationships to Owynn so we'll leave it here for now. But since I mentioned Owynn, how about we transition to…

The larger OT3 dynamic

Okay last section I promise. Now, we'll be talking about my idea for freddeak in the context of eakoweddy (Fred is there too but won't be discussed much because he's got other stuff going on and this is already getting long).

So obviously I like eakwynn and oweddy- just following me for a while will make this abundantly clear. I like a lot of Owynn ships. However, I don't think a lot of Owynn ships would be necessarily healthy. He's the villain, he looks down at others, he's willing to hurt basically every character we've met so far for his own ends… he's just not a good dude. This isn't really a problem for me, as an enjoyer of complicated and toxic relationship dynamics, but it does leave me wondering: if we wanted a ship that could redeem and help Owynn become a better person, what would that look like?

I think Freddy, on his own, would have a good shot at it… but he'd definitely struggle. Freddy, for all he tries, isn't very good at being assertive with anyone that isn't Fred. He's often pushed around or ignored by others, and Owynn is very much used to doing these things. Owynn has also shown so far that he's likely to hide away his true intentions and personality with the heroes, so we don't know how willing he is to show Freddy his true colors. Not to mention the whole “Owynn blames Freddy for some unmentioned transgression and seems weirdly obsessive about his revenge” thing. Very gay, but not very healthy.

On the other hand, there's Eak. He already knows all the worst parts about Owynn, knows all of his flaws and bad intentions. That's one of the main appeals of eakwynn for me, the idea of falling in love with someone after already seeing them at their worst. And Eak is a headstrong guy, who isn't afraid to speak his mind, even when what he wants to say is rude. If Owynn wasn't holding Cami and Towntrap over his head, Eak would definitely call him out whenever he crosses a line. However, I don't think Eak would necessarily be able to really “redeem” Owynn. I always imagined their dynamic as a more mutual thing; Eak makes Owynn a bit of a better person, but Owynn also makes Eak a little worse. See, I think Eak being a very loyal person has the chance of making him a bit of an enabler, too willing to look past the bad behavior of someone he loves and too willing to defend them when he shouldn't. He can call out Owynn when it's necessary… but he might not want to do that.

But the two of them together? I think they would balance out each other's weaknesses. Freddy keeps Eak from forgetting his morality too much. Eak makes sure Freddy is heard and not brushed aside. Freddy shows Eak the best in Owynn, and Eak helps him brace himself for the worst of Owynn. They compliment each other wonderfully.

And they can also work as each other's emotional support. Because of course not everyone is going to accept that they want to date someone that hurt them both. I imagine the animatronics, Cami and Towntrap would be far from thrilled to learn about the relationship. But with both of them dating Owynn, they can talk about him without worrying about judgment from others. They get that part of each other. Bonding over mutual bad taste in guys.

It's nice to have a crazy guy to smooch, but sometimes you want to also smooch someone less crazy. They're each other's less crazy <3 and I think that's gay.

Conclusion: Eak and Freddy should kiss.

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 4

Underciver Princess - Chapter 9

THE GIRLIES GET TO BOND! FINALLY

Im on a train so his is literally my thoughts as i listen to the audiobook instead of reading a physical book

I really love the visual of Ani and Ellie painting each others nails... stay tuned for something about that tomorrow? ;)

Ellie tidied the room! I really adore that Ellies messiness isnt necessarily gone, but you can try that Ellie has really tried to sort it out

AND OH MY GOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STANDING IN JUST BRIEFS

We were too casual about this

Also you can wear a bra or tank top to dye your hair trust me i do it every month

This is the gayest thing I've ever read and I've been on ao3 since i was 12

The velvet underground is excellent, and i think you should all go listen to them

Their lil apologies and the "Mr Truffles." Im dying i love them

NON BINARY / ANDROGENOUS ELLIE MY BELOVED

Baby gender funky

Ellie is legit the reason i figured out i maybe was gender funky so shoutout to ellie wolf the most gender ever

Even though ellie did get to choose Rosewood that easily, i like that she can still kind of relate to lottie in that it wasn't the easiest thing to get there, even though they have different circumstances

I like that ellie really genuinely is in awe of ellie and shes trying to say that

But honestly yeah some of the others probably wont apprciate it as much as them both because they almost couldnt go here

"Ill gladly beat them up for you" cut to Edmunds nose...

"I'm perfectly capable of beating up my own enemies" well... not yet, but you'll get there

Honestly yeah. Dying hair is a true bonding experience. I remember my gf dying my hair for the first time and its one of the... most non romantic non sexual but intimate things

Maybe Charles boyle from b99 had a point about the shampoo...

The kitchen sounds like heaven

"Like she'd found a little home with her" GUYS IM CRYING ON A TRAIN I CANT DO THIS

Right onto the "Bad Thing"

Thats the most scary way she could've phrased that

Poor lottie she just wanted to please

Adina devine once again could punch me and I'd thank her

I love Ellie so much, shes such a little actress

Prof devine is so chaotic good i adore her

I feel like theres not enough fan art of their pajamas!??!?!? Ellie likes star wars and we dont talk about that enough

I love their lil blossoming friendship, the way they cant stay mad or cross and just burst out laughing theyre so sweet

William tufty!!! What a man

I have such a perfect image of this room in my mind, but a glass table is no where in it that feels so wrong

I dont like the term loveseat

I think that this scene and the interaction between prof and devine proves that she knows ellies identity. We never get confirmation of it, but like... someone must have her actual legal documents right? For exams and stuff?

"The fates have placed you together" UGH I NEED A SOULMATE AU RIGHT NOW

All of devines speech at the end of this bit feels like its got so much power behind it, like shes casting a spell.

She understands these girls so intensely that I wonder if she had a similar experience when she was a student. Did she go to Rosewood?

"We can achieve amazing things when we uplift one another"

Reminds me so much of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" from YOU GUESSED IT Barbie Princess Charm School

I promise I'll have a different comparison eventually

Theyre a little sanctuary 😭😭😭

Finally, the ominous little bit about the rumour, growing like weeds in the grounds of rosewood is so poetic and so full of suspense i love it so much

It really sets up quite how dangerous the rumour could and will be

It also comes back to the whole thing about Lottie being somehow tied to the roses and garden. And the rumour and things stirring as weeds, here to disrupt her perfect life at Rosewood

And we're so back. This is the chapter that lowkey gave me faith again. The way the settings are described and the character motivations are softly shown and they feel like real moving characters.

I really appreciate this humanising Devine too, while also making her seem otherworldly at the same time. It's like a heightened version of Binahs almost omniscience.

All in all, this chapter makes me really happy and i need fan art of all of it please @ Rosewood artists

[anchorandrope]

I NEED YOUR SIBWAWC ANALYSIS IM BEGGING 😭😭😭

hi love,

okay, i wasn't planning to do this because i don't do analysis anymore (mainly because i suck at it) but since it wasn't the only ask i got, i'm going to try. obviously this is my interpretation, it doesn't mean that it's the only one etc etc.

Disclaimer: i took out the parts that are repeated. i will also add definitions of "obvious" things (so that non-native english speakers can better understand).

Context

first, before analysing the song, let's see what Louis had to say about it.

Written in the same few days as the last two songs. Dave [Gibson] turned up with this picture on his phone of the title ‘She is beauty we are world class’ it was written in the toilet mirror of a train. Felt like a weird place for such a poetic sentiment (Louis via twitter, Wednesday 16 November 2022)

Louis tweeted about all the songs on FITF on 16 November 2022 because there was a listening party for the album. If you check the order of the tweets you will see that he tweeted the songs in this order: [his top 3], high in california, the greatest, waoyf (x), btm (x), ftm, chicago, all this time, out of my system, headline (x), saturdays (x) (x) (x), silver tongues (x), sibwawc, common people (x), holding onto heartache, ttwlg. the same order as the album, only in the tweets he didn't talk about angels fly. so, we can deduce that sibwawc was written together with saturdays and silver tongues. these 3 songs were written by David Sneddon, Joseph Cross, Louis and Theo Hutchcraft and produced by Joseph himself.

On this song, She is Beauty We Are World Class, it’s a thought-provoking title I don’t, you know, I’ve got I’m not certain what it means to me I’ve got an idea but it’s one of those phrases that I think is open to interpretation. Now Dave Sneddon, who I wrote this with. Joe Cross and Theo as well, really mad story he got the train down to the to the writing camp and on the toilet… in the toilet on the train written on the mirror was “she is beauty” and then he got a picture of it and then below it in a slightly different colored pen so we can’t work out from the same person someone, looks like someone had finished it off and put “we are world class”. He just kind of came with his picture, he was like this is an interesting title and that’s where this song kind of came from and I kind of like that someone else wrote it. We don’t really necessarily know what it meant to them; we know what it means to us. That was that was an interesting moment I think this is where we said, “let’s really try and go all in on the dance-ier sound of things” because I kind of allude to it on like All This Time but like it’s not quite as like trancey as this is. Almost has that kind of DMA’s lift with it with the instrumental that comes in on the post chorus. This for whatever reason this is, like it’s my best mate’s favorite tune I do really like this song but I think, it’s another one of those songs it’s important for the record to give a different flavor yeah. (Louis via youtube - Tuesday 13 December 2022).

what we learn from this is that 1) the title DOES mean something to Louis, 2) his #bestmate loves the song *pretends to be shocked*, 3) he believes the song is important to the album in a lyrical and musical aspect 4) links the song to All This Time for its musical part (he said it on twitter too, he said att and sibwawc are tracey - we love this pair of sisters 😌).

I’ve always loved All This Time. Just feel like a feel good tune from the off. James had a great vision for this song, it also helps ‘she is beauty’ not sick out on its own @LlSTENlNG_PARTY (Louis via twitter, Wednesday 16 November 2022)

Title

For reference: beauty is a noun that means an attractive quality that gives pleasure to those who experience it or think about it, or a person who has this attractive quality (cambridge dictionary).

we know that louis believes that the title is divided into “she is beauty” on the one hand and “we are world class” on the other. here we have two subjects “she” and “we”. it's interesting, because if we want to talk about the beauty of a person who uses the “she” pronoun, it would be “she is beautiful” but, in this case, we are saying that “she” is THE beauty herself. then there is a “we” (2 or more people) who are not up to her standard or level of beauty. so, if “she” is the beauty herself and “we” are not at her standard, that means that “we” is not up to the beauty standard. that could be one interpretation, another could be that “she is beauty” is being used as an idiomatic expression where it's synonymous with “she is beautiful” and the “we” is the rest of the world. a phrase of love, contemplation and admiration. only a person truly blinded by love could claim that there is, in effect, one person who is above the beauty of the rest of the world. we can also think that “she” and “we” are replacing something. i mean that Louis uses the pronoun “she” to refer to a thing or person and the pronoun “we” to refer to things or people.

Verse 1

Conversation is currency

“currency” can be the money that is used in a particular country at a particular time or the state of being commonly known or accepted, or of being used in many places – according to the cambridge dictionary. so it could be “conversation is money” or “conversation is diffusion”. both cases make sense. Louis is a person who sometimes - literally - gets paid to talk. also, being a big-name international artist, it makes a lot of sense that he also says it in the form of “sometimes i have to talk to people who just want money”. and, of course, the conversation is diffusion, of what? information, facts, anecdotes, opinions, preferences, literally everything. in this interpretation, there is something that spreads as people speak out. i think Louis could be alluding to both meanings, but, personally, i think it speaks more to the fact that there is something that is spreading.

Shapes become a language

relating to the interpretations of the first sentence, if we keep talking about money, the shapes could respect numbers or mathematical symbols. if we talk about diffusion, we could say that there are shapes that are being related to each other and that take on meaning.

Square eyes and sunglasses

we could say that square eyes is an idiomatic expression used to refer to when a person consumes a lot of media, especially tv. (source: cambridge dictionary). sunglasses cover the eyes, so we could say that this person, who consumes a lot of media, wants to hide it. If we continue talking about money, we can say that there is someone who consumes or is inside the media who wants to hide and if we talk about diffusion, we can say that there is a group of people who receive a lot of information and that is why they decide not to take it all, either because they like it or because they cannot.

Finding faces in the trees

this clearly alludes to pareidolia. if we continue with the interpretation of money, we can say that there is someone who thinks they are finding their way out but clearly they are not. if we talk about diffusion, we can think that there are one or more people who see things that are not real.

Fabricated fairytales

this is a breaking point for me because up to this point the money interpretation (as i call it hehe) made sense but for me this lyric breaks with that. in the money interpretation, i imagined that Louis was talking about his situation with people who are higher up than him in terms of power. Louis could have been saying that there are people in the media who are trying to hide and escape of a situation (which we don't know, but we can intuit that it has to do with him, obviously), but this lyric makes me believe that he's not talking about people with more power, but with less. if the song is from Louis’ point of view, that means that louis SEES and IS AWARE of lies that are spread. it is hyper-ultra-super-mega cool that he said FAIRYTALES !!!! fairytales have a purpose and that is ✨pleasing young people✨ as know as ✨ Louis’ target audience✨

so far Louis is telling us that there are fabricated fairytales that are being diffusing to generate money, and that the square eyes consume them and on that basis hide what they don't want to see, and then find things where there aren't any. gotcha.

Bring a new world to life

discarding the money interpretation, we can say that this lyric means that someone or something is able to change the situation and bring a new world into reality.

Sit down, sit down in the space and time

this lyric is very abstract and complex to me. for me it speaks of a protest in a specific space and time where Louis is not going to leave until he is heard.

Chorus

She is beauty

and here comes the question… who the hell is “she”? she is the lies, dear. lies are beautiful, who are we going to fool? if most people would rather believe things they know deep down are false and deny reality than accept it. (note that it's not “they” it's “she” so it's a particular lie).

And we are world class (woah-oh-oh)

okay, but who the hell is “we”? the world, sweetheart. the whole world (generalising) prefers to live in lies.

Forever

this is something that has always been repeated (its a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy baby).

We'll let the feeling last

the world is going to let that feeling last as long as it can, until the lie is unsustainable.

Verse 2

Escape the inevitable

as i said, lies are a ticking time bomb as they all, sooner or later, come to light. so people will always try to escape the “bomb” but it's impossible.

Fade into light

here he talks about how dark lies can be as they fade into the light (truth).

Soak up the empathy

here Louis is asking one or more people to fucking empathise with him. to put themselves in his fucking shoes or imagine what he is going through.

'Cause I'm with you tonight

it doesn't matter if you fell for the lie, i'm with you

Are we one, or are we two?

do we think the same or do we think differently?

Are we me, or are we you?

are we looking at the situation from my point of view or from yours?

Has it been all this before?

Ii you have already seen this happen, why do you still not realise it?

Do you see what I see?

do you understand now?

Bridge

Surrounded by lights (X6)

Surrounded, surrounded

Surrounded, surrounded by-

this means two things to me: 1) he is surrounded by the truth because it's his fucking life and 2) Louis is always surrounded by cameras, tv studio lights, radios, interviews, etc. but more importantly, he's surrounded by our lights because the moment he sees the most lights is at the shows, thousands of phones with their torches on him.

special mention to Louis who put rainbow lights HIMSELF in his show during sibwawc since otb is not in the setlist (which is when he was literally surrounded by rainbow lights thanks to the fan project of the fans).

To conclude

the song talks, in MY opinion about closeting and its relationship with the general public and the fans. i'm not saying that Louis dedicated a song to antis saying that they fell for the lie because they are shit, no. i'm saying that the media induces these lies in our society and that the target audiences of the lie buy into them because they are innocent.

if you have finished reading this, i thank you for your time and hope you found my attempt at explanation helpful. i would like to read other analyses so if you have personal interpretations or know of other posts: send me an ask <3

[minquiec]

Why GiftedEyes is kinda special to me

Oh my goddd it's been a while since I yapped 😭 I've just been busy I promise I never stop the yap but this is uhmmm smth new that I haven't really posted about cause I literally came up w it 3-5 weeks ago but it's a oc PLUS canon not oc X canon cause it's a platonic pairing between an oc and.....GOJO SATORU OUT OF ALL PPL but yea enjoy I think

This is but a temporary diversion from jipunk hshahaha cause thinking abt moving on makes me wanna throw up cause I don't like change 😍😍 but I realise it's okay to like multiple things at the same time and it doesn't define me 🤺 so anyways

(I still love all my ocs and characters and ships and what not I never move on I just can't multitask and fixate on two things at once [me trying to self affirm LOL])

So how the fuck did I get here

How did I join the masses and suddenly become a gojo satoru enjoyer? Tbh idrk cause I've been into jjk for a while and it kinda appears in phases where I'd be pretty into it for a week and then ease out and then repeat for the next couple of months but this time round it's especially bad for some reason bc???? Hello??? I suddenly grew heart eyes for gojo satoru?? Scratches head fr but LAWD ITA SO FUN cause fanart wise jjk is a way more popular series than spiderverse and i can literally feel my starving body being replenished

But besides him being obviously a pretty boy I've actually grown to like his character a lot

So you see ☝️🤓 the problem w me is whenever I like a character I always gotta really REALLY like them to the point when I start analysing their personality to see if I actually fr like them and that's how it lasts longer than an average "he fine I want him"

And w gojo I think I realized I rlly like characters who have compassion for other ppl? 😭 but it's gotta have layers idk I have a range of types so maybe I'm just talking bs

Cause it's not rlly obvious w gojo but he's really kind in terms of his compassion for humanity which makes me ssooo 🙂‍↕️☝️😭🙏🙆‍♀️🤺🫶💔💔🧍‍♂️🗣️📈📈🔥🔥‼️🆙🆙 and it shows in the way he treats his students (ignoring the fact bro stepped on peoples faces in shibuya but you sort of get what i mean not really) and in that one line where he said smth like "no one should take the youth away from young people" and im going to leap because of his own youth that was taken from literally his birth cause of his groundbreaking, historic birth with his six eyes AND limitless

So very obviously he didn't have a normal childhood, probably put on a pedestal and worshipped which meant he grew up! Kinda weirdly! And when he met suguru he could probably experience his youth for the first time (geto!! Suguru!!! Was his first and last blue spring!!!! Blue spring is a poetic way of saying youth!!!! I'm gonna LEAP) and that youth was prematurely taken away at FIFTEEN and SSEECONNDD YEAR when riko was killed which could basically be a metaphor of the death of their youth with their morals and principles being thrown into a clothes dryer and tumbled around

And I'm not gonna. Get into how much stsg make me wanna tear my hair out cause tbh I Will Cry cause I've cried atleast 4 times about them before and I'm trying to keep my peace and they actually make me so sad bc the depth of their connection Makes Me Want to dddiiieeeee 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ they're so much more than just ahaha silly ship tgt and it drives me crazy but I'm not gonna get into it bc once again; I'm Gonna Cry

Anyways back to sat or oo gojo, he can do very easily be that cold typical guy that doesn't care but instead he chooses to hold the responsibility of the jujutsu world on his shoulders alone bc unlike the higher ups who are fucking useless!!!! He doesn't want the youth to suffer for the mistakes (they inevitably do anyways though 💔) cause I saw this tweet where he literally, could've solved the whole shibuya incident in a split second if he wanted (hollow purple the whole place and easy as that) but because of the innocent people involved he chose to literally risk vulnerability by over exerting to the max like wtf did you see that he's insane he's crazy he's gojo satoru (which in the end cost him his temporary freedom 💔💔💔 but I digress)

But uhmmm that concludes why I like him so much rn 🙏🙏 I saw this rlly good tweet where it mentions from who I believe is a jjk screen writer?? And mentions that gojos attractiveness stems from his ability to show weakness and that he isn't all invincible in terms of character and im like uuueEEEEEE but I appreciate him a lot

So ofc as any normal person would deal with loving a character, obviously my crazy ass decided "wow!! What a tragic character who's so, so lonely!!! I can't stand this and my heart cries for you so I'm gonna give you a companion because the canonical media treats you too painfully!!!!!"

Like a normal person does

So now we enter mins crazy bitch domain, my mind palace, my noggin if you will and all this takes a sharp detour to Cringeville but when have I ever gaf

A key aspect of Ruri's character is that she revolves around the failure of authorities in her life, starting from young where she is exploited for monetary means because of her jujutsu talent. I kinda made it on purpose that she parallels w satoru in a way where both were deprived of a normal childhood due to their talent? She is then failed again by the higher ups in the incident where she loses an eye due to their mistake and it's important to note that during this time (around ~2006 to ~2007) the star vessel plasma stuff happened and haibara dying due to higher ups so it really just solidifies that theme of children being exploited and burdened for the mistakes cause by the generation before them.

So because of this, there's already a different kind of connection between all of the surviving students of this time (mmm sort of minus suguru cause he went off and uhm,, started his cult and became public enemy #1)

On top of this initial connection of trauma, prior to it ruri and satoru had a more whimsical thing going on where they both have special eyes kind of (hence why I named it GiftedEyes cause they're technically both gifted in their own sense and they got fucked up eyes hahahaha) and during this time period, he's just very cheeky and cocky and she barely tolerates him bc ehhh he's just like that but he's nice in his own fucked up way

For shoko and suguru it's more of a normal friendly close relationship cause ruri's canonically likeable HaHaHa she's just very nice to be around so the 4 are in this close friend group tgt but I won't get tm into their dynamic or whtevr the fuck they have going on

So after the star ves incident and ruri's accident, she disappears for like ATLEAST A DECADE I THINK,,, TO HEAL?? (I'm still working on this but all ik is the higher ups took her away for healing) so none of the three see her again till 2018 (WHAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP IS THAT SHE NEVER GOT TO SEE SUGURU AGAIN,,,,, there's one situation where she actually sort of walks past mimiko and nanako in a public setting and she recognises a bit of his CE [this shit ain't canon, making this up cause it's part of her CT ajjajaj] but she brushes it off)

But anyways the dynamic changed when they meet again as adults in 2018 where instead of barely tolerating his shenanigans, ruri grew to be one of very few people who actually indulge his personality (as masked as it might be bc cmon now) because seeing familiar faces after all they've been through makes her sad 😞😞 it doesn't help she's older AJAJA only by a little but she's biologically inclined (ruri: oct 20 shoko: nov 7 satoru: dec 7 suguru: feb 3)

And while I say indulge, I don't mean she's actively encouraging it LOL she still has that stoic calm personality from adolescence but it's more like she turns the other way whenever he's being goofy (she buys him sweets and souvenirs whenever she comes back from missions)

And its cause like, the idea of someone who's on the top of the chain, the world even, finding comfort in an old friend makes me soooooo sssssssooooooo aAAAUYYEEUUGGHHHHHH it's what he deserves after so long so this is my coping okay and it kills me cause i think he (bear with me here lemme be cringe) would find a lot of comfort in her presence again cause sometimes it's like she's a time capsule from the distant past where he was actually happy and can't help but almost revert to the silly cheeky version 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ he may be suffering from his breakup for the past decade BUT atleast he got his girl SPACEBAR friends to support him (shoko and ruri)

Platonic love also really makes me sob cause like ,,, it's the way you've formed such a connection and affection (non romantically) strung by the mishaps and tragedies you've suffered together,,,ueueue but yea that's it i think i need to honk shoo mimimi they r special to me

[allamericansbitch]

Can you maybe (only if you want to) rank Taylor’s albums and maybe also explain why you’d rank them like that?

oh okay ill try

evermore - my beloved, i love how every single song has such a strong identity if that makes sense. like there's this common debate that evermore is the better album but folklore has better songs? i think folklore has a strong identity as an album but the songs dont as much as evermore. every song is so unique and lives in it's own world and i LOVE taylors voice with real instruments and her storytelling is peaked here.

folklore - everything that i said about evermore basically but slightly less. i love the vibes she was able to capture and the whole album paints such a picture- i've always felt like taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and this being such a new place for her (genre and writing wise) shows how refreshed she must have felt.

speak now - the most dramatic, messy and honest album in my opinion. its so late teens/early 20s to me in terms of subject matter and i love when she uses some rock influence in her songs and theres so much guitar in this album i love it. also the fact that it's entirely self written insane.

1989 - a modern classic. this also strengthens my theory that taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and challenging. i cant believe the first time she tried pop she came out with style, ootw, blank space, etc.... like wtf. the lyrics arent as poetic as one would hope but there still good and very impressive.

fearless - my baby. there's just something so bittersweet about this album and it's so solid. there's not a lot i would cut (from the standard version... vault tracks are different) and its so wholesome and full of whimsy. i love the production on it too, i think it works with her voice so so well and it's aged beautifully.

midnights - okay heres the thing, every criticism ive seen about this album makes sense and i agree but for some reason after seeing it live... idk i like it a lot. there definitely are skips and i get why people were just unimpressed truly... but some of the songs are so insanely catchy and i like the way her voice sounds... cant explain it.

red - i think this album is really good when you're in a certain place in your life or a certain mood, it's not an everyday album for me. i think it has some of her best ballads/slow songs but the upbeat ones lack for me. the best ones are holy ground and state of grace tbh. plus with how long red tv is... it's a bit overwhelming.

debut - she's cute but she could be improved upon and it's her first album so we can cut her some slack, i love iomwiwy, tim mcgraw, picture to burn, should've said no, our song, etc. she has standouts she's nice.

reputation - this is where we go into the negatives outway the positives. this production is way too much for me, like i said her voice sounds it's best with real instruments underneath is to me- so this really fake manufactured production just doesnt work. it also aged sooo badly to me. this album live is a different story tbh but recorded it's just not my fav. when she's performing it live she adds real instruments and im praying that she does that with the rerecording because it helps so much. the only songs i would literally die for her not to change is lwymmd, dress, so it does, and ready for it. i think dont blame me is so overrated and dont understand why people love it.... im sorry. it's so basic to me... we've seen the whole 'your live is my drug' this so often and the production is basic too... i feel like anyone could be singing it.

lover - my god what this album could have been. this has some of her best and some of her worst. my list of complaints is long. i dont like the production- same reasons as reputation, way too fake and clunky. some of the lyrics are.... wild. the setlist is strange, i would cut like 4 songs tbh. i love cruel summer, inthaf, sygb, lover, london boy and false god.

[beneathascorpionsky]

I posted 6,048 times in 2022

That's 6,048 more posts than 2021!

76 posts created (1%)

5,972 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wayward-wren

@arceuscansuckmydick

@raincloud-the-33rd-frog

@time-is-a-pain

@strigiiformes

I tagged 2,438 of my posts in 2022

#art - 121 posts

#fnaf - 110 posts

#video - 78 posts

#yes - 73 posts

#writer's life - 58 posts

#pretty - 42 posts

#fnaf security breach - 41 posts

#wheeze - 39 posts

#funny - 36 posts

#cute - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#fandom is me forcing my friend to read snippets from a fic im writing from a fandom they couldn't care less about but supporting me anyway

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The struggle when I’m writing a fanfiction and I’m really excited and I really enjoy it and I want to post and share it with people! But! I know how bad I am at finishing projects and the story isn’t even half done and what if I lose motivation and just have another half finished fic sitting out there and I disappoint EVERYONE. But also what if I DONT DO THAT and I could’ve been sharing it the whole time and getting feedback and enjoying reading people’s comments ? and round and round my brain goes on this one circular track 

12 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

#4

Sure those stars might’ve been dead for who knows how long but sailors still looked to them for guidance

15 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

This is such a weird dumb idea and maybe other people have already theorized this and I’m just out of the loop but it’s making me laugh so I’m going to share it anyway

so there’s the whole gregbot thing right? Well what if Gregory isn’t a robot but Vanessa is? Maybe Vanny created her as lookalike/stunt double kind of thing so Vanny was free to wear her creepy mask and run around killing people but could point to Vanessabot who was roaming around the Pizzaplex doing her job as an alibi 

It would explain the rooftop ending where Vanny seems to really closely resemble Vanessa, but Vanessa is shown to be standing up on the roof while Vanny is on the ground. I know there’s the theory of it being Vanessa’s ghost which is probably more likely but idk, Vanessabot is funnier to me for some reason

16 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

Feel like in Security Breach Gregory really went “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me” and then committed organ theft

30 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Chapter 25: To let go (and to hold on) I saw this moment as poetic and I hope I interpreted this scene right Gosh, William be damned- I love your fic!

I am I'm literally a bit overwhelmed I never thought anyone would like something I'd read enough to make art based on it. This is GOREGOUS and I love it so much and I think you might've just made my entire year. Ty, tysm I adore this and I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic

34 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[trylobite]

currents, part one

                                        journal entry # 42

                     may 3, 1998 - 4 days before graduation

looking back on the countless hours spent loving and being loved by pj these last two years, i never imagined things would end like this. i never thought i would end things like this.  

we have been fighting more and more recently. he thinks im unhappy, everyone thinks im unhappy. fuck, even i thought i was unhappy with him for a while, but I don’t think that’s it. It may sound totally juvenile and cliche, but I think im too happy with pj, and its becoming so terrifying. why are the best things always so fucking terrifying?

the love we share is bursting from my every seam and that’s why i can’t continue. i love him so much, so truly but, after days of contemplation i’ve concluded that despite being surrounded by all this love, i feel so dejected. i want to be a good person and love people with my entire soul, and right now, i don’t fucking know anything, especially not the importance of loving and cherishing someone else for all that they are. thats what i do know.

i dont think it insane of me to say that i don’t want to look back on this relationship years from now, having not ended it, and us both be miserable.

the devastating thing is, if that were the outcome, i don’t think he would leave me like im about to leave him. he’s too selfless. i don’t want to do it, truly i don’t. i don’t want to murder his spirit in the process of figuring out who i am, but is it nobler to sacrifice myself for the man i love the most and never be able to give him the love he deserves in return?

maybe that was too poetic, but dear journal, i really mean it.

i know what i must do, it was bound to happen. i just can’t let myself hurt him anymore. i know that once im gone, he will be happier.

—— october 30, 2000 ——

i breathe in deeply letting the crisp, autumn, pennsylvania air fill my lungs.

ever since graduation ive been up north in the glum state of maine trying to connect with myself. i tried college up there for a few weeks but dropped out because all it was doing was adding to the stress and heartbreak i was putting myself through.

inever told anyone where i was going, just my parents so they could send money every now and then. but to everyone else, i sort of…disappeared.

i spent most of my time in maine with my neighbor, edith. shes this feisty little hippie lady in her mid 60’s, and she took me in when i was at my lowest. edith runs a quaint little bakery in town, which she sort of manipulated me into working at, but to be honest i’ve never minded. she has a luxurious garden thats full of herbs and spices used in her shop. we have spent many hours back there in her garden just talking, crying, laughing,. she taught me so much about the mysterious ways humans live and adjust. she would tell me stories from her life that taught her about empathy, love, betrayal, and remorse. i’ve learned a lot from ole edith and for that i will forever be in her debt.

edith is actually the one who convinced me to come back after all this time, to my home town. i didnt want to, for reasons obvious to both edith and i, but as i hinted at before, once edith wants something shes relentless. she told me to come and visit for a few days over halloween weekend, and if it was horrible i could give her a call and she would buy my train ticket back immediately. i reluctantly packed my bags and rang my parents to tell them the news.

so here i am, in the backseat of my family car that we have had since I was 10 years old, I can still smell the cigarette smoke from when my mom was an avid chain smoker in the early 90’s. i have the window down letting the sharp, icy wind swirl my hair all about my face. my headphones are blaring against my ears so loud that im almost positive my parents could hear the music over the wind. i’ve been playing matchbox twenty’s “yourself or someone like you” album on repeat the entire train ride here, and I don’t know if it’s the nauseating loneliness in rob thomas’ voice blasting into my head for hours or if it’s the weight that these familiar streets carry but im starting to feel very anxious and lightheaded the closer we get to home.

i let go of a shaky breath i didn’t know i was holding as we pass the skate park me and the boys spent a million nights at fucking around, smoking, getting drunk. i would always complain when steve brought his “magic dust”, but pj always promised if anything happened, he would make sure i was taken care of. bam and ryan always just laughed in my face and told me to loosen up, fucking assholes.  

bam margera has been my best friend ever since i can remember. we grew up next door to one another, and with no other neighboring houses being as close as ours are, it was inevitable that we would become attached at the hip. we would always hunt for bugs and crawfish down in the creek by my house and use them to scare his mom, april. i remember when ryan dunn moved to west chester, it was like our team was finally complete. we were literally the three musketeers, and no one could separate us. my mom always hated the fact her sweet little angel was being turned rotten by some gross little boys, but i think she grew to love them as much as i did over the years. our parents thought that once we hit puberty the three of us would naturally fall apart, but i think the awkwardness and uncomfortable changes of puberty only brought us closer. our interests obviously did start to differentiate more, like bam and ryan got into skating and bmx, and i got more into reading and writing, but it never caused a rift. they were my brothers, until the very end. until i left.  

i remember the day they introduced me to the rest of their friends. i only ever hung out with bam and ryan on our own, but i knew of their other friends through the stories they would tell me. that day bam and ryan said they were going to take me to the skate park to show me this “gnarly trick” that bam had finally mastered.

i always found it amusing because the guys absolutely refused to go to the actual skate park in town, we always went to this abandoned pool in the outskirts of the suburb that bam had declared their territory the beginning of freshman year.

i wanted to be supportive of his hobbies, so i went willingly, but turns out there was no trick and i had been lied to. i was greeted by many new faces that day, one being a face i will never forget.

i shake the memory of our first meeting from my mind as my dad pulls into the driveway. the lawn is decorated with the ghost decorations the boys and i made years ago for a halloween bonfire. i frown at the memory, wishing i could get amnesia to forget all these good things ive left behind. as i step out of the car my shoes make a squishy noise against the orange and yellow leaves that have fallen into the driveway. there are puddles soaking the pavement, turning it into a dark and depressing gray. mom told me over the phone yesterday about all the rain they have been getting lately. seems like even the weather in west chester was preparing for my arrival.

i look over to bams house and try to suppress the ache bubbling up in my chest. i don’t want to be here; I feel like my happiness is being slowly sucked out through ribs.

ever since i left this shitty little town ive been able to grow and become a better version of myself but being back has already started to affect me. i don’t want to revert back to the person that ive worked so hard to let go of, i want to be free from that life and those mistakes.

the whipping of birds playing above my head pulls me from my internal monologue and with my head hung low, i creep up the driveway. my hand touches the ice-cold knob, but something stops me from entering. I can’t put my finger on what exactly, but then I hear it, the faint rhythmic buzzing from the bass of someone’s car getting closer and closer. my eyes fly to the top of the hill near the end of the street, and I can feel my heart start beating harder and a knot growing larger in my stomach. for a split second i can’t differentiate between the bass vibrating the air around me and the deafening knocking of my heart at my ears. as the car came barreling down the street, my body starts to weaken and i feel as if all my bones have been replaced with jello.

they were in chris’s van, and they were listening to some weird band that bam was obsessed with (if i had to guess) on the loudest volume possible and with all of the windows down. i knew i needed to stop looking and go inside before I got caught, but something about seeing them acting so…normal…without me wouldn’t allow me to look away. however, that feeling is soon washed away by a tender ache piercing through my chest.

the pout on my lips is suddenly replaced with an emotionless, cold expression as i spot pj in the back seat. despite the look on my face, my heart has never felt so sore. his warmth is radiating through the car’s windows, and i feel like i can almost hear his rich, gravelly voice ringing in my ears. I can still remember the way his cologne would mix around in the air and fill my lungs with pine and cigarette smoke. I can still feel his soft palm and calloused fingers brushing along my lips and cheek, and his soft pink lips dancing over my jaw and down my neck. this is all too much.

as they pull into the driveway next door, i watch them file out of the van and into the garage. I take a second scanning over all of them, seeing new tattoos and new injuries. they were all there, from what i could see. chris, steve, ehren, dave, ryan, bam, and pj.

when I finally give my eyes permission to look at pj, i am met with those beautiful dark brown pools, that once held so much admiration for me. they were now full of confusion and anger.

it took me a second to even realize he had noticed me and from that point on all i could focus on was escaping the situation. i swing my backpack over my shoulder and rush for the front door, but by the time i pass through the threshold of my childhood home, full of so many memories, i knew the secret was already out.

© blackjello, 2022

[mformarsala]

I've just read Star Wars: Obi-Wan #3 and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so here they are (spoilers!)

1) Obi-Wan in long robs!!

2) Holly shit Obi-Wan still has his old armor

3) Does that mean Obi-Wan never learned about the chips????

4) I just love to see Cody's role and competency acknowledged.

5) See, this takes place after Christophsis so it's not the first battle Obi-Wan has with 212th or with Cody as his 2nd-in-command. Meaning Obi-Wan is thinking about shinies. And about Cody. Perhaps because he is another authority figure that feels responsible for the lives they are going to lose tomorrow.

6) He-he, Glory (im sorry)

7) Obi-Wan canonically loses himself in the view and in his thoughts and Cody has to save him.

8) Cody is protecting Obi-Wan's head.

9) They are so foul for this one. I straight up had to stop reading after "last night" and compose myself. Airo, baby boy, I love you, you did not die, we have collectively adopted you. Now every fic about 212th has to have Airo (right? right???)

10) The banner and the jedi symbol being the same color is Poetic.

11) ..Obi-Wan feels clones die on the battlefield (i think im gonna be sick)

12) Obi-Wan calls clones people

13) Cody turning to check on his general

14) Pieta. I feel like besides immediate tragedy there is a far-reaching narrative parallel with the clones that are brought into the world to die for others and Obi-Wan that can do nothing but love them.

15) Clones and jedi are meant for each other.

16) I just know that this came up later as part of Cody's argument to keep wrestling Obi-Wan into the armor ("we could have lost you, general")

17) There is no strategic reason for Obi-Wan to carry the banner.

18) As far as I understand commander Mekedrix is career military. And this panel is a juxtaposition of his views and those of jedi. Where Mekedrix is trained to focus on strategy and the big picture as the means to work and cope under the implicit assumption that there will be casualties under his orders, Obi-Wan is unable to turn away from the loss of life.

19) (he reminds me of namor)

20) I.. Obi-Wan needed to watch the sunrise and then Cody with the sun on his armor came to check on him. Cody was really a stronghold that helped Obi-Wan get through the war.

21) Cody is reaching for Obi-Wan.

In conclusion:

[peachscribe]

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

[blueberrycheesecakesblog]

i was born this way/grey clouds behind my eyelids/cuss words on my lips/crown of hate on my head/and they ask me often/will dying be enough/i have no answer/will bleeding be enough/never/im scared/im not at the same time/forgive me/forget me/ i wake up/suffer/go back to sleep/ i sleep/wake up/cry/and wish/let me die/in the arms of calm/let me cry/ till 4 in the morning/blood stains on my bedsheet/im no old man/im tired/is living really enough/hide me in your mind tonight/ im drowing/there's no water/im falling/ i haven't jumped yet/ use my name as a synonym for hopelessness/ use my body as a reminder/ these words dont define me/these words are still mine/there is no sense in this/im sorry/what's the matter/i dont know myself/i learnt how to make a noose/im too scared/time/not in my favor/it'll never be/is being ugly okay/is it okay to not like your reflection/what am i talking about/ am i real right now/ can you hold my hand/ im loosing my grip from reality/ sadness without any reason/im counting my breaths/one/two/fifteen/im scared/am i a coward/ i dont know/ sixteen/seventeen/twenty five/is it too late/my ears are burning/why is it so hard to forget/touches/people/words/can you touch hope/if not/ is it real/there's too much noise/my head hurts/why do i hear the past/in my head/im 11/blink 1/im 13/blink 2/im 19/i wanna be poetic/i lack words/if i glue my heart to my sleeve/will it hurt less/flesh and bones/rage and anguish/ alway together/ forever and ever/people around me are as broken as this city/help me leave/void inside me/growing/will to live/leaving/pull me from my own grip/do i still have to care/think/feel ashamed/define beautiful/exclude me/i am actually still alive/for fucks sake/one last time/breathe/again/die/die/die