#im gonna just block the tags and try not to cry ok? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doodlebloo · 3 years

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ur take on whether or not u can trust someone ab not shipping real folks is based as always dude. one way i try to avoid real bitch shippers is blocking anyone who makes a headcanon or sum that seems even the slightest bit out of character and more like the cc's. what r they gonna do? dm you? cry? you gonna cry? oh also by blocking anyone who makes dnf or karlnap truthing posts.

real shit being a part of the cbeeduo side of tumblr has been stressful as fuck n its why ive distanced myself a bit bc im fucking tired of seeing shit in the tags thats just fucking disrespectful and gross. major respect for being a cbeeduo main in this day in age o7

(Do not reblog this ask)

You'd think in a fandom that has a shitty reputation based on a few weird people making everyone look bad you'd see less of people thinking a whole community is weird just because a few weird people are making them look bad.

And like once a community (like beeduo enjoyers) gets a bad reputation from a few weird people it makes everything look that much worse. Like for example if a community not notorious for having to deal with truthers posted something like "Omg x streamer said hanging out with y streamer was the hilight of their week!" It would be fine, but if a beeduo main posted it everyone would be suspicious. Which is kind of deserved! Because for some reason beeduo specifically attract irl shippers like a moth to a flame!

And it's really uncomfortable because as much as you can SAY over and over that you're not an irl shipper, there's no way to prove it. You can SAY that you don't have an alternate Tumblr acct for truthing under a different name, but even if you let someone comb through all your files you still may be able to hide it! It's entirely based on the honors system, and I don't know about any of you but I wouldn't accuse someone of truthing without genuine, solid PROOF that they're doing something fucked up.

It's really difficult because like the line between character and cc is THERE. It is. Tubbo is not a half goat ex president with burn scars nukes and a son. Like there is a line. But with this fandom it's really hard to make like AUs and such unless it's like still a fantasy setting like medieval setting or space or something. Bc if you're like "High school au!" Then like ok... How is your version of c!Tubbo who has never fought in wars wasn't found in a box has no scars doesn't have a son etc really THAT much different from just normal Tubbo? It's very complicated and hard to do in a way that's not weird

It's just a slippery slope. Which is why I AGREE with Ranboo's phrasing! He kind of HAS to be that vague, because the more vague he is the more leeway it gives him later to call out anything specific he thinks is gross. I get that and also He Especially has every right to be wary of IRL shippers and truthers, considering his chat's recent obsession with "jokingly" calling him gay/saying he came out. (Which, by the way, INCREDIBLY hypocritical to make gay jokes abt a streamer and then accuse other people of irl shipping/truthing but I digress.)

Also I don't even know that I'd consider myself that much of a CBeeduo main! I literally have just written a handful of fics about them (2/3 of my bigger ones are mostly c! benchtrio) but for some reason these two characters have the most like complicated and vague set of boundaries for writing them literally ever. Like I don't want to write anything that makes anyone uncomfortable at all, but I also don't want to say that everything cBeeduo has ever done in canon is platonic, bc I don't know what Ranboo and Tubbo's intentions were. And as time goes on it only seems to get more and more complicated and people seem a lot less willing to tolerate other interpretations (ppl who see them as /r being called truthers, ppl who see them as /p being told they're wrong or getting made fun of).

The way I see it there are only two correct ways to handle things like this: either BLOCK the person who made the content just like you said, or try and TALK to them - y'know, like in a civil way? Tell them what part of their thing you think might be breaking boundaries, if they agree they'll change it and if they don't you can block each other? No callouts no death threats no nothing? That sure would be nice huh.

#IM SORRY I WROTE A NOVEL IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK.#BUT THIS SHIT HAS BEEN WEIGHING ON ME FOR LIKE MONTHS AND IM FINALLY JUST. SAYING SHIT YKNOW #asks #but like i agree im tired of this #and one of the tings im tired of especially is that like #there is no definitive answer to this!!! if someone headcanons that cbeeduo are /r then headcanons ctubbo can play the steel pan like tubbo #is that too close to the streamers?? ok now what if they hc cbeeduo as /r but hc ctubbo can do acrobatic type stuff #like flips and that. is THAT now too close to the streamer for them to see c!beeduo as /r? i dont know!#nobody does bc its a matter of opinion! everything is so vague and so case-by-case that there is no catch all answer #which is why Ranboo responded to that question the way he did #but what nobody is getting is that the word ''weird'' means different things to different ppl #and at the moment we're having to GUESS what it means to ranboo.#like. fuck!!!!!!!#truthing tw #discourse

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sapphire-innit · 3 years

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MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)

#dream smp liveblog #dsmp season 2 #dsmp exile arc #tommyinnit #mexican dream #dsmp mamacita #dream smp #abuse tw #gaslighting tw

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meltalks · 4 years

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my experience with addy / hiqey

i’ve contemplated posting my history with addy/hiqey for awhile now. my friends have encouraged me to do so, but due to her stance in the rpc i was always far too scared to do so. with all that is coming to light with her recently, not only is a huge weight off my shoulders as far as comfortably roleplaying as my escape, but knowing i’m not alone. my story with addy dates back to about september 2018. i do warn you this will be long, and i’ll try to include enough details to make it make sense while not dragging things on and on. this includes both my personal relationship with addy, as well as my experience with her in groups one where she she was an admin, and groups where i was an admin. as well as i believe we coadmined one together. i’ve put screenshots where i could, but some of this dates back to 2018 and i just don’t have access to those texts/rp accounts anymore.

a huge huge shout out to @bumkeyz for starting this avalanche, and for also supporting me one on one along with all my friends to feel safe enough to come forward. i’ll put all of my story under a read more.

i’m going to start this by saying, my name is mel/melanie. you may have heard of me because back when addy was on rpslayed she wasn’t a big fan of me for awhile. predominantly my group the cape(?) the main isn’t up anymore so i can’t remember the exact @. i’m 21 years old, i will be 22 this month. i am married & i have a 3 year old daughter. this is information i don’t normally tell people i’m married / have a child, because well, i just feel a little judged. not because anything anyone has specifically done or said, but my own anxieties worried that people will think it’s weird to be married with a child and still in twitter rp. but it is important to my story with addy, which is why i’m letting everyone know right off the bat.

i met addy in a group called producers. this group is from september 2018, so i’m not able to access anything right now, but am digging. i played (feel free to clown me) a g-eazy character named pierce. addy played a carlson young who’s name i can’t quite recall, and a gracie abrams named lolly. lolly & pierce became friends first & at some point we exchanged phone numbers. lolly & pierce flirted a lot, pierce was a player yada yada. eventually she ended up getting a different ship on lolly & pushed her carlson young onto pierce. pierce had a different love interest & didn’t end up going for her. this should’ve been the first negative sign/red flag. when pierce didn’t get with her character, she got very short & snarky ic and ooc. i believe both of her characters blocked me ic. even though pierce had made no ic promises to either to not be with someone else. we still maintained some level of friendship, but she was extremely weird about when i mentioned my ship. our friendship ended for a few months because of an incident that started ic between me and another character. the mun who played this character and i had bonded ooc over having been pregnant, we talked somewhat often about her dealings with her pregnancy. so i felt close enough/friendly enough with this mun that when something happened with her character & another character ic i dm’ed her to see if she was ok .long story short it went bad. i texted addy and told her that. i explained that i felt as if this mun & i were close and it was like dm’ing a friend. she held onto the fact that i shouldn’t have messaged her. when i didn’t immediately conform to her thought she kicked me out of the group. i was literally devastated. i loved that group, that character, my ship; all of it. she blocked me. though this story is 2 paragraphs long, it’s minor in the grand scheme of things. after this she smeared me on rpslayed for months until our paths crossed again in a group called glitches/glitch? we decided to squash our beef. this was december 2019.

in december 2019 we became friends again. honestly, i wish we never crossed paths. we got very close right away. she started telling me about a bad friendship she had, with someone we mutually knew from producers who i will not name since it’s not my place to put their name in this, and gained my sympathy. so much so that i ended a friendship with that person based solely on accusations that addy had told me. this is something that i can now realize i did wrong. i literally cussed this person out on the phone, solely based off things addy told me. i didn’t listen to someone who had been my friend for months, who defended me and picked me up when addy was tearing me down on rpslayed. i turned my back because addy convinced me to. she made this person seem awful. and again, i’m not naming them, but they know exactly who they are. and when thy do read this, i’m sorry.

now this is where things get out of hand. addy & i begun an intimate relationship. this is very personal, and i know some may pass judgment. but my husband was cool with it. addy also began talking to my husband, they texted. we had a groupchat. not to get into details about the relationship, but it was romantic. i am going to try and organize my thoughts. into themes.

money

this relationship lasted from about january ish to april romantically. i became addy’s crutch. she began going through personal issues with her family. and i started sending her money. to be frank i don’t remember how it started. i helped her with a job search, supporting her through these tough things that were going on. the money started casually i suppose. it was $10 for lunch. $25 for nails. but then it got worse. i bought her a phone. and slowly she grew more entitled to my money. asking for it. demanding it. guilting me when i didn’t give it. i lied to her and told her i lost my credit card and turned it off, but the guilt i had i told her that i could turn it on when she needed it. in screenshots i will post below she guilted me because i was sick and fell asleep before turning my card on. whether what she’s saying occured is true or not, it was just one example of how she made me feel. at one point she had my credit card on her uber, and charged nearly $400 of ubers on my credit card that i didn’t know about. she claimed it was an accident, because i let her put my card on her account under the agreement that she would turn it off. we had an agreement of what she would pay me back, some things that i got her were gifts and i didn’t want/need back. other things it was always an agreement she would pay me back. however whenever i would mention sending me a payment she had an excuse. one time even guilting me by reminding me how much better i have it than she does. all in all i spent / sent upwards of $2500/$3000 on her. only about $1500/$1800 i wanted back. i never saw a dime back, she never made good on her promises. at some point i gave up on asking.

ETA: as far as the uber situation goes, she did apologize and state that it was never on purpose when i found out that there was nearly $500 in charges. she said she thought she was charging her moms card. this shows a photo of 1 page of a 5 page statement of all the transactions put on my card by her in one month. there are only 6 of these transactions that were me. all of the ubers and venmo were her. i didn’t make her take off my card, which in hindsight was obviously a very bad decision. i just didn’t want to leave her stranded without ways to get home/where she needed to be.

this is her demanding money. this was in the summer. at this point i was so manipulated by her/scared of her/scared of losing her that i didn’t know how to say no. in this instance i deflected with a picture of my child. screen shot.

in the screenshots here, this is where i fell asleep. i was on vacation and got extremely dehydrated in the sun. i literally felt so sick and she made me feel guilty for falling asleep. X X X

this screenshot shows one of the times i actually asked her when she would repay me. at this point my credit card was nearly maxed out from ubers and sending her money. i was anxious about it and she made me feel bad for asking because her situation was worse than mine. this was the same day she asked me for $250 for a down payment on her car. X asking for money. X making me feel bad for asking when she’s gonna pay.

literally to this day im still in credit card debt because of this. yes i make good money, yes my husband does too. but credit card debt is hard and everyone knows it. i do fine for myself, but i don’t have hundreds extra to pay this down.

also, i cannot locate the bank screenshot. but as recent as this february, six months since she spoke to me, she still had my card on her uber and usted it again. i can’t find the screenshot of the actual of the bank transaction because i’ve completely had to close that account for fraud and transfer my balance to a new card. but here is a screenshot from february 12 where i tell my friends i caught her doing it. X .

manipulation in groups/related to groups

orbis. i ran a group called orbis, it was a reality show group. addy was one of my friends who really wanted me to open it. all of my groups i’ve adminned i’m the lead. i just always take on that roll so i do get very busy with them on top of my real life. i work full time and i’m a mom so i spread myself thin.she made me feel really guilty for this, saying i wasn’t giving her enough time, she wasn’t anyones dog. so i posted my unfollow. then she told me i was stupid for doing that. so i deleted my unfollow. then she said that me deleting my unfollow showed that i didn’t really care how she felt. screens. X X

lumeer. very similar situation to above. only this time i left the group completely for about 3 weeks. i called my coadmin crying about what she was doing to me, sent her the psds and templates for grpahics and left fully, though i helped them out if issues arose/they needed anything.

impulse. this was recently and this got brought to the tags. im going to copy & paste what i sent to bumkeyz as far as the story goes for what happened.

“ what happened in impulse is only one of several examples of addy being awful in groups i've adminned. this goes back to our friendship but specifically here's what happened in impulse. addy played a character named briar, the other characters involved were as mentioned in other posts loki & khalil (fai fc). one of he first days of the group khalil hooked up with both loki & briar. when the "updates" account posted about loki & khalil's hook up (we posted any and all plot drops that were sent in, it was a reality show so we consistently updated what the cameras caught), briar got upset on main. addy then messaged khalil's mun ooc and asked for the plot to be erased. essentially because she didn't like that khalil had hooked up with both her and another girl in the same day/same manor. as odd of a request as i was the khalil mun agreed to wipe it & asked that if there was anything that ever came up again that made addy uncomfortable to please not hesitate to dm. addy then softblocked khalil. which is strange. why soft block with briar's reason to dislike khalil has been wiped? that night addy posted on her personal tumblr hiqey "i forgot all fai khadra fcs are weirdos" or soemthing along that line. the khalil mun reasonably got uncomfortable with that, but was softblocked & didn't tell the main. they just ignored it since their characters weren't interacting now. for the next few days addy continued to shade khalil and loki on main, despite any ic reason for disliking them being wiped. loki then approached briar IN CHARACTER asking what was wrong/why she was shading/why they didn't like her. i don't know all the details of that conversation, but i know it ended with loki saying she was going to block briar & briar saying that was fine. bear in mind the admins had no idea any of this was happening at this point. addy then dmed the main, playing victim. after more shading of khalil, khalil's mun decided to block briar as well. addy despite wiping this plot and having 0 ic communication with khalil continued to shade the characters ic. so addy dmed the main playing innocent. asking for us to have them unblock, saying she had no idea why they blocked or what she did. as admins we had no idea why either, figured it was something ic so we dmed both muns. khalil's mun agreed after some hestiation, and asked if they had to follow her and i said no. they didn't elaborate. loki's mun however refused, & i'm glad she did because she told us what was going on. of course once we were told everyting we didn't make her unblock. up until we told addy that we were not going to make those muns unblock her, she was extremely sweet to us. she praised us on her rpt. said she loved the group. fed the main compliments. but when she didn't get her way out of us, and was essentially told on, she started causing issues on the timeline with different characters. she sent us a dm on the main telling us to "learn how to handle your group melanie" and deactivated before i could get a chance to reply. “

what i didn’t tell bumkeyz is that deejay/rpslayed played khalil. another example of addy’s manipulation is that when she saw deejay getting anons she followed deejay and texted her after several months of no communication, starting to tell her side of the story and play innocent -- not knowing that deejay was the person who was behind khalil the entire time. she made khalil out to be the bad guy, not knowing that it was deejay. after finding out deejay and i were friends, when deejay posted on rpslayed for people to follow me shortly after trying to get deejay on her side, addy blocked us both (again).

manipulation between friends (?)

i don’t really know a great way to title this, but this is similar to the situation i mentioned with the unnamed person above -- how addy made me think that person was the worst so i would stop being friends with them. this is a few more examples of that.

the entire time i was friends with addy, she told me that deejay hated me. she told me that deejay was convinced that i was this person who tried to get her kicked out of a group. she told me that she did her very best to convince deejay that it wasn’t true, but no matter what she did deejay just hated me. nearly a year later deejay and i cross paths in a group. we started talking ooc and i mentioned this. i asked her why she thought that was me. we found out that basically, while addy was telling me she was trying to convince deejay it wasn’t me, she was telling deejay that it was me. she would also tell me personal information about deejay that i had no business knowing, whether it be real life information or just telling me the groups deejay adminned when she knew deejay didn’t want anyone knowing.

i have found out recently that addy has recently been telling people a lie about when she came to visit me. on one evening when she visited me in june of 2019, we went to my friend’s house. we both drank, and smoked. i am someone who neither drinks nor smokes, and i got a very bad mix from it. my anxiety sky rocketed. i was crying on my friends couch practically paralyzed. i didn’t want to move. i felt sick. i felt scared. my friends were going to drive us back to my house and shortly before we were about to walk out addy said she needed to go to the hospital. my friend’s boyfriend drove her there, and when he came back they took me home. this night is very blurry for me. i remember barely being able to see straight, my friend helped me walk to and from the car. addy has told her friends that i refused to pick her up from the hospital that night, and i’ve now heard this from two of her close friends. when in reality, i was so far gone that not only was i sick and scared, but i couldn’t see straight. i had absolutely no ability to be behind a wheel. i’m not surprised she twisted this against me.

i provided a few people screenshots where addy was telling me to block them/trying to convince me that they were awful and hurting me. at the same time that addy was telling me this, she was doing the opposite to them -- to keep us apart. i believe this is some sort of power. always wanting to be everyones number one.

i don’t have a lot of screenshots for this, so i won’t go into much detail, but i can say on more than one occasion, or more than five or ten she told me who to and not to be friends with. told me to block people who had been our friends who were no longer friends with her.

flat out manipulation.

i don’t want to go back through my texts too much honestly. it’s still a sore spot. it still sucks and it still hurts. but i think anyone and everyone involved with addy at some point or another has similar stories about the way she treats her friends. there were points where i begged. begged and begged her not to leave me. i can’t even count how many times she blocked and unblocked me. how many times she made me feel the worst and then came back. she came back because she knw i was there. and that my generosity was practically endless. i couldn’t say no to her, frankly i can’t say no to anyone. if anyone dmed me today and said hey i need $15 for a ride home. i’d probably send it. that’s just how i am. addy completely had me wrapped around her finger. to the point that i left friends who were good to me. i left my own groups i worked hard on. i nearly ended my engagement (which cannot be entirely blamed on her, but the relationship she and i had was built off lots of manipulation). i know that i could go find 100 screenshots and texts of her manipulating me but honest i just don’t want to do that to myself again. she has made me out to be the villain to anyone she can. i have had 2 different people tell me that she told them i say the n word, which is the furthest thing from the truth. i fear the things she’s said about me to people. if she can 100% make something up, what can she twist from actual arguments or issues we had?

i know this sounds like a lot of rambling for nothing. but for nearly two years i’ve lived in fear in the rpc of addy. less so when we were friends. i’ve feared telling my side because i felt invalid. frankly even as i type this im scared. scared she’s already convinced everyone i’m awful and no one will read this or care. i just am thankful that this finally came to light. i am glad that i won’t feel scared anymore. roleplay is my one place to be free. as a mother, a full time worker, i don’t have a lot of time for hobby’s and frankly i don’t have a lot of them. i don’t draw, or read. i like to write. and i’m just thankful this can finally be lifted off me.

#twitter rp #rpt #rpc #rph #addy tw #hiqey

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babysizedfics · 4 years

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I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

#little/big concepts #illness tw #vomit tw #food mention #long post #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

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atozfic · 3 years

Note

legit all i want is one angst fic with an UNHAPPY ENDING so i can cry bUT nO when i search up angst fics THEYRE ALL FLUFF WITH "a small bit of angst" LIKE PLEASE I JSUT WANT A FIC THAT WILL MAKE ME CRY SHDLSFK - 🥢

also u know what else annoys me. WHEN LONG FICS DON'T HAVE THE KEEP READING CUT. like they write 10k words n theres no cut so u have to scroll through the whole thing,, like what if someone doesn't want to read the 10k smut someone wrote then they have to scroll through the whole thing like PLEASE if ur gonna write a long ass fic PUT A KEEP READING CUT. -- 🥢 (this legit annoys me sfm)

ALSO, WHEN THEY MAKE THE READER BLUSH "their cheeks turned pink" OR WHATEVER,, and it honestly makes me not wanna read the fic bcus like if ur gonna make the reader blush might as well just make a light-skinned oc instead, bcus its not like everyone can blush. also when they make them skinny, specific eye color, rlly rlly short. like i know its just fics, but if ur gonna put "reader" atleast try to not make it seem like the said reader is this skinny white girl. - 🥢

ok and one last thing, i know its hard but like sometimes ppl put gender neutral reader, but then put things in the fic like "babygirl/ mommy", or "babyboy/daddy", or even just like "princess" or smthn. like i know its hard to come up w gender neutral terms but yknow its just,, idk. IM SORRY FOR RANTING IN UR INBOX THESE THINGS JUST BOTHER ME SM - 🥢

okay so, originally i was gonna wait a while to reply because i was on a roll with my writing but, due to some of the issues your asks have raised, i kind of want to go on a tangent(?). don’t worry, it’s nothing negative. i’m simply gonna reply to everything you said in order though, so it doesn’t become confusing.

my reply to this is pretty basic because, while i do enjoy a good bit of angst, i personally don’t enjoy an angsty ending. maybe it’s just me but life is full of bad endings and unresolved issues, which leaves me not wanting to experience the same things when i read any form of fiction. no matter how well written it is, nor how amazing the story is, it leaves me feeling unsatisfied and questioning what would happen from there. i do get your frustrations though, especially if you’re in the mood to read something heart-wrenching and all you find is fluff.

i 100% agree with the read more thing. all of my stories come with a read more tag before any of the story actually begins, no matter if its 100 or 20k words because, most of the time, my stories carry warnings on them. in my opinion, if you’re adding warnings to your story and NOT adding a read more tag, your warnings become useless. what is the point on giving a content warning if you’re not going to facilitate people avoiding being exposed to that warning? even more so if your fic is the length of the mf bible, like damn. seeing your monster fic without a read more cut isn’t going to make me want to read it, it’s going to make me block you to avoid having to see your content again. in conclusion: use read more cuts, they’re free and help you not turn people off from reading your work.

this one i’m going to maybe say something people won’t like? if so, i genuinely apologise in advance, i’m not trying to offend or hurt anyone. i’m not sure if i’ve been guilty of doing this in the past but i can say this: when i write, i do not have a vision of what the reader looks like. they are a blank entity in the story. with the blush thing, i try my best to explain the feeling of blood rushing to one’s face rather than the effect that has (aka blushing on people who have fair skin), because everyone can experience blood rush, even if it doesn’t make them blush. this is where maybe some people might not appreciate what i’m about to say... i don’t think this is something writers do on purpose. while i understand it hurts to feel excluded, i don’t think any writer who writes under the “x reader” tag is going out of their way to make people feel that way. the problem is, in writing, there is an incredible emphasis on showing and not telling. this becomes difficult to do when you’re constricted under what you can say to avoid excluding anyone, which is why i think writers sometimes slip up. it’s nothing hateful or purposeful (this is most cases, i obviously can’t speak for everyone), it’s just something that accidentally slips their minds, no matter how hard they try to make their stories accessible for everyone. i’ll finish this off by just saying, if someone ever reads one of my stories and feels the reader isn’t inclusive to them (despite being tagged that way), please tell me politely. don’t treat me like your enemy, because i guarantee it’s not something i ever want to make you feel.

the section above also applies to this part. there’s no need to apologise for ranting in my inbox, i’m completely fine with it so long as you- and anyone else who does it- is fine with receiving a response.

#🎐: message board #🥢 anon

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thoughtsdying · 3 years

Text

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another.

And I’m ok with that.

#aromantic #aromanticism #asexual #asexuality #personal #real experiences and problems

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generallynerdy · 5 years

Text

Wings (Lucifer X F!Soulmate!Reader)

Summary: Lucifer is upset about getting his powers taken away. As (Y/N) goes to cheer him up, she finds out that seeing an angel’s wings is apparently not normal.

Requested by @kat-the-kit: Or maybe a Lucifer X Reader where Luci is pouting for getting his powers taken away but Reader cheers him up. Oooooo!!! And she can see his wings (Soulmate AU is life!!!) But doesn't say anything because no one else says something so she thinks it's like a respect thing! Please? (Sorry if I rambled too much!😅)

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: Lucifer is a Good Guy AU (not excusing canon actions. If u dont like, dont read), cursing probably, garbage writing bc im exhausted Word Count: 923

Note: whats supernatural? I stopped watching at the end of s14 and still havent caught up bc i heard some shit that,,,,made me upsetti. Nonetheless, have some lucifer. I know this was probably referring to a certain episode where lucifers powers were lacking w/anael and all that but,,,i hope this is ok? Idk, im just trying to get through these requests.

“Luci? Luci!”

(Y/N) called out for her archangel friend, Lucifer, oddly enough, as she wandered through the bunker. Sam, Dean, and Cas were out on a hunt, leaving her and the devil to hang out.

It was probably the weirdest thing on the planet to be able to say you’re friends with Satan. (Y/N) could say it and actually mean it, while other people would be sent to an asylum.

Lucifer was the best friend she’d ever had, weirdly enough. He was there to talk when she needed it, even there to listen, though he wasn’t always the best at that part. He almost killed a guy for catcalling her once, so that was nice.

(Y/N) had to admit that Lucifer was...a little more jealous than a normal friend would be. She tried not to dwell on it too much. Even thinking that way about him could be dangerous.

He was Satan!

But Satan was late for their movie night and (Y/N) was upset.

“Luci! Where the hell are you!?” She shouted down the halls before realising what she’d said. “Okay! I didn’t make that pun on purpose! Don’t hate me!”

From Lucifer’s room, the door of which was ajar, she heard a muffled snort.

Following the sound, (Y/N) peeked into the room to see a huffy archangel laying on his bed. His brilliantly white wings were around him like blankets, keeping him warm. The sensation of being cold was relatively new to him, seeing as he had just recently lost his powers. Everything human was new to him.

The only way you could tell him apart from a normal person was when his eyes flickered red if he got angry. Plus, his wings. Oh, his beautiful, beautiful wings.

(Y/N) had always wanted to compliment him on them, to maybe feel the feathers. She wondered if angels’ wings were soft. Of course, he was a fallen angel, so maybe his weren’t. Maybe angels didn’t have soft wings at all. It wasn’t as if she could ask Lucifer if she could feel his wings. Nobody ever mentioned them, not even Castiel.

It was a sign of respect, so she thought, to not go inquiring about his added appendages. She wondered why he always showed them, while Cas chose not to. Maybe he was ashamed of his. What she didn’t consider was that maybe nobody else could see Lucifer’s wings.

“There you are!” She exclaimed as she entered. “Running from the Lion King again, are we? I won’t tell Dean you cried.”

“I hate you,” he murmured from under his wings.

She grinned. “There’s the same old Satan. Move over.”

Lucifer reluctantly did as she asked, scooting over on the bed and parting his wings so that she could join him in laying down.

“Hiya,” she greeted teasingly. “Pouting?”

“I’m not pouting,” he huffed. “I’m grieving. Big difference. One is immature and one is more regal, not to mention better for my reputation.”

She rolled her eyes. “Reputation? In this bunker? Please.”

“You’re not helping.” Satan sighed, laying his head down and staring into space beyond (Y/N)’s shoulder. “A few weeks ago, I was the all powerful Light Bringer. Nobody would dare come within 20 feet of me, not in Heaven or Hell. Now, here I am, reduced to Lion King and broken heating units.”

(Y/N) snorted in amusement. “Luci--” she drawled.

“Don’t start. I know I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” she said firmly. “Adjusting to being human is hard. It isn’t all drinking beer and hunting monsters, as much as the Winchesters would like to think it is.”

Luci eyed her curiously. “No, sometimes it’s crying at animated cats.”

“Not gonna lie,” she started with a smirk, “That’s a little more human than I was expecting.”

He groaned. “You’re the worst.” He went to block his view of her with his wings, but she smacked them back.

“Please, I’m your favourite human!” She scoffed, before seeing the look on his face.

Lucifer was almost...aghast. Confused was more like it, but there was an air of awe about him as he looked at her. “Did you just-- hit my wing?”

“Yeah. Sorry, did it hurt?” (Y/N) asked, frowning.

“You can see my wings?” He questioned a little louder. “You can see them?”

She nodded hesitantly. “Of course, I can see your wings. Who can’t? They’re massive.” At his pause, she gawked. “Am I not supposed to see them?”

Instead of answering, Lucifer pushed himself forward, meeting her lips with his.

When he drew away, (Y/N) was sputtering. “What was that?”

“I knew it was you,” he said with a devilish smile. Er--

“Knew it was me? What’s that supposed to mean? Why’d you do that?” (Y/N) questioned, words flowing out of her mouth like she was drunk. “I mean, not that I’m complaining, because that was amazing, but what the hell?”

Lucifer shushed her. “(Y/N), nobody can see an angel’s wings. Except their Soulmate.”

“Their--?” She cut herself off, jaw agape. “Their Soulmate? I’m your--?”

“Yeah. Crazy, huh?” he joked.

Her throat was suddenly very dry and it took a few swallows before (Y/N) could speak again. “I’m Satan’s Soulmate,” she whispered.

For a brief second, an expression of concern and fear passed Lucifer’s face. “Don’t like it?”

“I love it,” (Y/N) said, a giggle escaping her lips. “I shouldn’t, but I really do.”

Luci laughed. “I’m glad.”

“Satan’s Soulmate,” she hummed. “I like the sound of that.”

SPN Tags: @missihart23

Masterlist

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sturnluvr · 4 years

Text

(I'm already engaged to Zach) I call Zach in tears, I'm shaking because I'm having a breakdown. Zach tells me to stay where I am and he'll be there shorty. Zach arrives in less then 10 minutes, he bursts into the room immediately going to me as I'm on the floor and picking me up and putting me in his lap hugging me asking 'what's wrong angel?' I told him "Reason why My grandpa came over today so it was just all chilling out then he asked me what I was listening to I told him Why Don't We. Then he just filled his lid he was saying stuff like 'You're so fucking childish to know what goes on in the real world! You need to stop listening to that band because they are distracting you from everything! I don't fucking care if they help calm you down if you're having anxiety or if you're feeling sad one day because if you're mom they cheer you up!' He went on and on I kept a straight face and didn't show emotion so it looks like I was listening but when he said that thing about my mom I almost lost it. Since my mother passed I cope with her death for now by thinking 'she just on a long vacation and she come home when it's my time to you know pass on' he brought that up and mind you my grandma was outside in her garden doing her thing (she can't hear out of one ear so she was listening to music and that blocked out my grandpa) he started saying 'You know for damn well your mothers never coming back ever! You need to face reality and know that she's dead! You need to grow the hell up!!' My grandma came back in 5 minutes later and it got even worse he started saying stuff like 'FUCK YOU!' My grandma kicked him out of the house. once again another male figure in my life has made my confidence drop and crumble and dissipate into thin air. My grandma gave me space for the rest of the day. I'm sleeping in the spare room tonight because I just need a darker space and bigger space to think. My grandpas smart enough not to do anything like come back over and start another fight. I was I'm my room like an hour earlier I still am I was going through YouTube when I saw the 'Zach Herron Cameos' hearing the love on his voice made me feel a little better and eventually put me to sleep🥺 (I It just really made me want you Zach, ugh I want of your hugs right now🥺" Zach nods slowly then cups Mellows face in his hands and gives her a sweet kiss, then resting his forehead on hers. They both have tears in their eyes. Zach then breaks the silence by asking "If you're okay with this, I have an idea" mellow responded with "okay what is it" Zach: " how about I treat you like the queen you are? I'll run a warm bath for us with the new lush bathbomb you got, after we get out I can give you a massage so the day isn't on your shoulders anymore, then we can goof off, we can even do face masks again! Wait...I'll let you do my make up and we'll order take out and cuddle. I'll let you have my clothes, you can take what ever you want. How does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect Zach"

"How about we start that perfect night now mrs.herron?"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to get over you calling me your wife""I can't believe you're gonna be mine forever! come on love let's wash the day off." They go the bathroom pinkies linked, zach picks Mel up and puts her on the counter and walks over to the bathtub starting the warm water and puts the bomb in the water while lighting some candles. Zach walks back to mel and looks at her with her red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. "Even when you cry you're so beautiful, and look! You got my rosy cheeks now!" Zach says smiling. "Keep up with the comments and I'll have them forever." Mel says making her cheeks become a darker shade of red. "Well is that such a bad thing?" Zach says kissing her nose. "And Zach you truly are a romantic, candles? And a bath? Wow" mellow says chuckling. "Wellllll I may play our playlist. While we're in here." Zach says blushing. "My god I love you" Mel says cupping Zachs face giving him a kiss. They finally decide to get onto the bath, they slowly help each other out of their clothes, they get into the tub. And they just relax, they wash each other's hair and all that stuff. They get dressed. Zach is in his sweats and sweatshirt, Mellow is in her sports bra and Zachs sweats, "angel do you want that massage?" Zach asks "yes pleaseeew" Mel says with grabby hands. Zach laughs and picks her up and carries her to their bed, mel lays on her stomach while Zach gently massages her back while giving her soft kisses on her head and back for her neck every once in a while. After about 45 minutes Zach stops massaging and gets off her and then gives her his sweatshirt he was wearing because he knows she loves when they're warm. He then gets him self another on his hoodies. He says "Okay angel, wanna goof off?" Mel blots up says "YES!!!!!! IM GONNa give you a 3 second head start so you better start moving! Ok 3, 2, 1, GO' they play tag for a while. Mel eventually tackles Zach and they start play wrestling, Zach pins her down on the ground, "I got you" "oh my god I love you so much" while kissing her lips after every word. They get up off the ground "They do some tictoks and take some cute pictures, and did a lip sync to the song 'Classic' by MKTO after they take some more pictures and film some more tiktoks. " Can we do your make up now!?????" Mellow says "shoot I forgot about that" Zachs says fear filling his eyes while chuckling. They head to the bathroom again "zachhhhhh come here I wanna make you pwetty!!" "Coming love!" After they do Zachs makeup, they both wanted kisses, that kiss soon turns into a sweet makeout session again. After a while they pull away and just look at each other. Zach then wanted to do the face masks again. They do the face masks while waiting they order pizza. When the door bell rings with their food Zach forgets he has the mask on and opens the door with it on. "Baby, I think I scared the dude at the door." Zach says pouting. Mellow bursts out laughing "oh bubba, come on let's go take the masks off." After they take the masks and Zach gets a few more eyebrow hairs pulled again. They eat and talk a bit more. They share some laughs and loving looks at each other. They then snuggle up to each other, Mel curled up onto Zachs side while her heads in his neck while one of her hands are in his hair playing with it. Zach breaks the silence by saying, "mellow I just wanted to let you know that how much I appreciate having you in my life. For helping me through the bad times and being there to help me celebrate the good times, I love all of the moments that we share together. There aren't enough words in the dictionary for me to tell you how glad I am to have you in my life. I am so lucky to have you by my side. Everything you do for me never goes unnoticed. I don't know what I did to deserve someone as wonderful as you, but I am eternally grateful to have your love, support, and affection. Thank you for being you and for having me by your side. When I try to think of a favorite memory that I share with you, it is impossible to pick just one. There are just too many wonderful me

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deez-no-relation · 4 years

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I know your blog has veered a bit away from Sheen but do you know what's up with the Twitter fandom? Seems it's gotten really narrow and childish - just a lot of uwu, 'I love Michael/Anna", "I love him so much Im gonna cry", stupid tiktok shit, silly posts. What happened to all the cool artwork, posts from actually interesting and talented GO people? Was there a falling out or did those folks just drift away? OK if you don't know, just wondering. Thanks.

I only know about drama in the past couple days, which I did post recently and tagged it “tea”

The very very brief version is that Michael blocked somebody, and from all appearances, it seems for a petty (or no) reason.

Perhaps - and this is just speculation - perhaps this has affected his fandom? it could be that only the hard-core fan girls are left, the ones who would forgive him anything....and some of the disaffected fans were creating some of the best content?

Being a celebrity and letting your fans get so close entails quite a lot of responsibility. It’s a juggling act even without a newborn and a global pandemic happening. I’m not trying to defend him, I mean I think he fucked up, but so have we all. He’s not special that way; he’s not infallible, as I think some of his younger fans believe.

If he would listen, I would advise him to put a little more distance between himself and his fandom. And don’t dm fans. And for the love of god or satan or somebody, DON’T DM MINORS!! I’m not saying he has, but he sure seems drawn to youthful adulation...

Anyway, I hope something in that was useful to you, anon! 🙂

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leelee10898 · 5 years

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Chikara: Zenshin suru (2/?)

Summary:Moving forward. At least thats what Ellie is trying to do. Meanwhile Colt finds trouble back home. Catch up HERE. If you would like added to the tag list, let me know.

Raiting: Mature. This series deals with violence, angst, death, sexual situations and bad choices. Read at your own risk.

Ellie sat up in disbelief oh you have got to be kidding me she flopped back down on the bed. "Oooh come on Ellie, its gonna be so much fun." Ellie rolled her eyes as she was lifted up off the bed. "Seriously Ingrid, how the hell did you end up in here? You had a different roommate." Ellie groaned, could her luck get any worse? A horribly emotional Thanksgiving, and now this, she was convinced someone hated her.

"Well," Ingrid flipped her hair and sat on ellies bed "I put in for a new roommate before Thanksgiving. She was horrible, she used to microwave liver, the dorm smelled like burnt rotten sneakers." She pointed her finger to her throat, making a gagging sound. "So they called with this opening and well, here I am!" She perked up. "Come on, there's a party tonight in the dorms across the quad, lets go."

"A party? God no. I'm really not in the mood to party, it was a long, long break and a long flight, you go on without me this time ok. " Ellie refused.

"No can do! I have watched you mope around this campus like a sad little puppy dog. It stops now! Get up, get your ass dressed." Ellie eyed Ingrid in disbelief, was she really going to allow her high school rival boss her around. She stared at Ingrid a moment longer, arms folded against her chest. "Fiiiiiiine!" She got up and started getting ready. Once she was fully dressed she grabbed Colts jacket and walked out the door.

They walked into the crowded halls of the building across the quad. The music pumping throughout, kegs in many of the rooms and almost everyone had a red solo cup in hand. "Want a beer?" Ingrid tried talking over the loud music. "No. I don't drink." She shouted back, Ingrid shrugged her shoulders "suit yourself." Ingrid paraded Ellie around, introducing her to so many people. She felt oddly out of place, but if she was going to try and move on, she figured maybe this was a start. What she wouldn't give to have Riya here with her now, but Riya was a little over an hour away at hartfeld. They were standing there talking to some girl Ingrid knew when two guys approached, one with Dark blonde hair, the other a brunette with stunning blue eyes. The girl walked away leaving the two of them, with the two guys. "Looking good Ingrid." The blonde smirked as he leaned in kissing Ingrid's cheek. "Kyle, this is Ellie. Ellie, kyle." Ellie gave him a shy wave. "Nice to meet you Ellie, this is my friend Nick." Kyle introduced the two.

Ingrid and Kyle were caught up in an intense, flirtatious conversation, leaving Ellie and Nick standing there. "So. You don't look like you want to be here." Nick finally broke the silence. "I'm not really into the whole party scene." She admitted. "Neither am I, I only came because Kyle wanted to see Ingrid." He chuckled as he stood next to Ellie. "Yeah. Ingrid drug me out. Still getting used to being friends with her, after being rivals for so long."

"Oh, so you two knew each other before college?" He quirked his brow, seemingly interested in having a conversation with her. "Yeah. We went to the same high school. Battled for valedictorian our senior year."

Nick leaned in a little closer. "And which one of you won it?" His voice low and Intoxicating. She bit her lower lip. Trying to stop the huge grin from spreading across her face. "I bet it was you. You got that smart and beautiful thing going for you." Her face was now beat red. "Beautiful huh?" She tried to even her voice, praying he didn't hear the slight tremor. "I call it how I see it. And you Ellie, are probably the most beautiful woman here." Ellie turned a deep shade of crimson, it had been a while since anyone flirted with her. She couldn't help but think about Colt, what he was doing in that moment, wondering if he even thought of her at all anymore. Ellie mentally reprimanded herself, she was trying to move on with her life, she needed to stop pretending that she and Colt were anything but a distant memory now. "Hey Nick, wanna dance?" Nick smiled wide "Lets do it."

****

California…

Colt climb off his bike and stashed it, he made his way quickly down the familiar street and ducked in the side through the loose boards. He had been coming to the shop here and there for a few months, ever since the heat from the FBI died down. He hadn't been in a couple weeks, he spent Thanksgiving break with his mom and he was itching to get back to the shop and continue his treasure hunt. He started in the back of the shop, mostly sticking to the private quarters. His pop wasn't like a regular blue collar guy, he didn't use a bank except for the legit auto shop account. Everything else he had was hidden in the shop like In the walls where one or more of his great grandparents installed a fireproof safe, Loose floorboards, hollowed out cabinets with a removable panel. Colt had found the deed to the garage, a copy of Kaneko's will leaving everything to him, the original he was certain in a safe deposit box somewhere, he knew he would have to piece clues together, it was what his dad did. He also found Several stacks of money, bonds and other property deeds.

He climbed the steps to Logans loft. He had yet to go up there, the bitter taste of Jealousy still thick on his tongue. He hated Logan from the moment he met him, he hated that a pretty boy was his father's prize poodle, he had the nice car, the good jobs, and he had Ellie eating out of the palm of his hand. He snorted, a smirk forming on his lips when that changed. He swore he could still feel the softness of her lips pressed against his, her arms wrapped tightly around him as they lost themselves in the pacific.

Colt walked through the room, stepping over debris, a gaping hole in the roof letting the moonlight shine in giving him some natural light.

He found a metal box under the burnt bed frame, he had to pry it open, not much inside except a few slips of paper and a flash drive. He checked his phone, 9pm. He had been there longer then he should. He pocketed the flash drive and descend the stairs to the bay. His eyes landed on something glimmering in the moonlight. He reached down to pick up the item, his heart caught in his chest as he realized what it was.

******

The day he took Ellie to her driving test, he wandered around inside the dmv, waiting for her to finish up. He knew she would pass, she was a natural. A rack of keychains sat displayed in front of him, he fumbled through them until he found the perfect one.

He waited outside as Ellie bounced out of the DMV, a freshly printed license in hand. "I passed, I passed!" She squealed as she threw her arms around Colts neck. "Congratulations. Here I got you something." He held out the silver crown keychain. Ellie looked between him and the key chain, as she took it out of his hand "thank you colt. But why a crown?" Colt shrugged his shoulders, "I'll tell you later, now come on let's get back to the shop."

*******

How did it get here? He knew Ellie had it on her keychain when she left for school, she hadn't been back to the shop after that night, unless. Unless she was there, sometime while he was away. He felt the lump in this throat grow bigger, she was there and he could have seen her. In that moment the need to see her, to feel her in his arms, to hear her voice, taste the sweetness of her lips. It was all too much to bare. He shook the thoughts from his head, she was at Langston, safely away from the crime ridden streets of LA, it wouldn't be long until he was with her again.

He put the keychain in his pocket, along with the flash drive and headed to where he stashed his bike a few blocks over. He kept looking over his shoulder, a nagging feeling he was being followed. He got to his stash spot, attempting to quickly climb on his bike and start it and thats when he hit him. Colt crashed to the ground with a thud, his bike coming with him. He had just enough time to roll as his attacker came down on him with a knife. He sprang to his feet, adrenaline coursing through him. His assailant charged forward, colt side stepping, grabbing the attacker by the arm, bringing his elbow down on his shoulder, the knife hitting the ground with a clatter.

The man clutched his shoulder, crying out in pain. "Wrong choice buddy. Guess you don't know who I am?" Colt spat as the man turned, baring a rage filled face. "I don't ask names, I do what im told." He circled Colt, looking for his opening when his fist connected hard with Colts jaw. The attacker grabbed the knife, as colt lunged forward, tackling him to the ground. Colts first landing blow after blow, the man lifted his hand, slicing into colts side. Fuck! Colt screamed out in pain, it only fueled his rage further as he screamed "Who sent you?" he screamed as he twisted his body bringing the mans arm behind him,incapacitating him. "Arg, not going. To tell you." Colt shook his head as he pulled his arm further behind him. "Ahhh. Wallace. His names wallace." Satisfied colt released his hold on the man, shoving him to the ground. "Of course he didnt give you a fucking name. The little bitch. He knew you'd never fucking do it." Colt circled the man, stalking him like a lion and he was his prey. The man looked up at him confused, A devious smirk played on his lips, "the names Kaneko." He let the name set in. "I'm thinking the letters M.P.C are flashing in your mind right now aren't they?" The man sat there, paralyzed in fear. "Now, you run and tell all your friends, that MPC still runs things." The man nodded his head and took off.

Colt clutched his side, the realization that he was hurt crashing down on him at once. He hopped on his bike, flying down the highway to the only place he could think to go.

He pulled up to a small house in a backwoods California town, Killed the engine and walked to the house. He reached the door, banging harder than necessary. "Colt. What the hell are you doing here?" The voice spoke through the latched door. "I know. I'm sorry but, its an emergency." He pulled his blood covered hand from his side. "I need your help."

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#chikara rod fan fic #ride or die bad boy romance #choices ride or die #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #colt x ellie #colt kaneko #rod colt #colt x mc #i love colt kaneko #leelee10898 fan fic

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piximiplays · 6 years

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Take Us Back “Review” ig

Wow that episode was just... wow 😭 That was actually a really good ending (at least the one I got, I'm not sure about any other endings there might be) to an amazing series 😭😭

Also, if you haven’t blocked the twdg spoilers tag, I’ll put a break here but if you haven’t played the episode and/or don’t want major spoilers for Take Us Back, don’t read the rest of this long ass post. You have been warned. (That sounded super serious sksksksks 😂)

Ok so I’m just gonna start off with the beginning when AJ voiced the “last time on The Walking Dead” like damn that entire sequence put my anxiety (which was already super high because I was literally freaking out about possibly getting Clem or anyone else killed) through the roof. He was listing all the things I’ve taught him in the past and that shit honestly gave me ten different types of anxiety.

So, I got James killed in the last episode so I have no idea what he says in this episode or anything like that, but I’ve heard that it’s not great sksksksk

Anyway, the fact that we literally saw James as a walker broke me so much I was literally crying at that point.

And then when AJ said he wanted to be a firefighter damn that shit was lowkey kinda cute. At that point I was a little more relaxed because we were somewhat safe in the cave.

But then shit went so south when we left the cave and after we met up with Violet.

Of course I had to mention the tree house and omg I almost cried again just thinking back to season 1 when we met Clementine in her tree house 😭 (Even though I’m pretty sure she said she hated her tree house in season 2 abgsfhj)

And of course I had to rename Ericsons to Castle Violet who do you think I am

But the bridge OOF

Fuckign Minerva akajsfkjh I’m wondering if there was a way where she could have lived I highly doubt it but damn I wasn’t expecting her just die like that wow I was lowkey kinda hoping maybe she would get some kind of redemption but wow that whole dragged out death was so gruesome but not necessarily in a bad way, at least not for this series sksksksks

And damn Minnie just had to fucking slice Clem’s leg that shit looked like it hurt askdjashdg

AND THEN TENN FUCKIGN DIED WHAT THE FUCK

I think if I hadn’t told AJ to make the tough calls then he wouldn’t have shot Tenn, and Violet probably would have died instead (or Louis if you saved him at the end of episode 2) Fucking hell

And when we split up and Vi went back to the school goddamnit that scared me because I had a feeling something was gonna go wrong AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

At this point I was fucking crying my goddamn eyes out because CLEM GOT FUCKING BIT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT JFHJKSGHJGF

I was such a mess at this point there was honestly no saving me

The entire time I was shouting at Clem to just chop her leg off at that point because there was no way that Clem was gonna die in such a stupid way like damn. wait fuck that's how Lee died AKSFJKG IM SORRY LEE I DIDNT MEAN TO DISRESPECT YOU LIKE THAT FUCK

Anyway

And then when I got that fucking achievement after that at that point like, first of all fuck you game, second of all fuck you. But seriously, I was genuinely wondering if there was any way to avoid her getting bitten but idk at this point it’s almost 1am I have school in the morning and I am way too tired to replay the entire episode even though it was a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be tbh probably because I didn’t look around for collectibles as much and because I probably didn’t pause the episode as much as I usually do while making hard decisions sksksks

And then when we made it to the barn and we fucking started playing as AJ I was freaking out at this point

But when Clem was literally dying I was sobbing the entire time and just fuck, the parallels between that and season 1 when Lee died goddamn that shit hurted

I literally had to pause the game at this point because AJ was crying right in my ears and I couldn’t focus because I was also crying and only one of us can cry at a time buddy

Originally in episode 3 I told AJ to leave Clem if she ever got bit but fuck I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen so I changed my mind and told AJ to kill her because god damn I’m not gonna let her turn into a walker fuck that (even though that’s exactly what I did with Lee fuck) (Also I just looked and I’ve literally used the word fuck in this post like 23 times so far sksksksksks 😂)

And when it cut to black after that, literally all that was left was the sound of my sobs goddamn. And the achievement “final lesson” that shit just made me cry even harder

And the fucking ranch flashback right after goddamnit I was still mourning Clem you can’t just have me play as her again like that, shit. Also damn poor AJ 😭😭

And then when AJ was fishing and Rosie showed up damn she actually put a smile on my face somehow. I didn’t think that was possible at that point

Clem’s hatttt 😭 I was so scared I wouldn’t get it because I kept missing the quick time events but then Rosie got it thank god

And omg when we got back to the school and Take Us Back started playing I was even more of a mess I thought the episode was gonna end there but boy am I glad it didn’t

Also omg Ruby and Aasim holding hands damn that shit was adorable

When the music faded out and shit, I was like ok I think there’s still a little more to the episode but then FUCKING CLEM STARTED TALKING AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS AJ IMAGINING THIS BUT NO CLEM WAS ALIVE AND OH MY GOD I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME THEY WERE HAPPY TEARS AJHAFSGF

I was so fucking glad that Clementine was alive I didn’t even care about the fact that she was missing a leg I was just so glad to see her oh my god I really thought she was dead

And they all lived happily ever after

Jk except for Tenn GODDAMNIT HE DESERVED BETTER

But seriously, I was so glad Clem wasn’t dead and that mostly everyone was alive I seriously thought I was gonna get a shitty ending (But I’m also a little confused on how Clem survived the bite. I know she obviously cut her leg off and she did say something to AJ about she was glad he didn’t listen to her in the barn which I’m assuming was referring to when she told him to kill her, but if that was where Clem had her leg chopped off, I feel like the bite would already have spread to the rest of her system at that point? Idk I’m not gonna question it I’m just extremely glad she’s not dead)

And the very ending where we walked through the hallway and it showed all the names from the Still Not Bitten Team damn I loved that so much

And omg when we went into the room and were able to look at Disco Broccoli and his friends, I noticed that the option to look at Disco Broccoli kept popping up so I kept selecting it and ALKHASDFJKG I FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER DIMENSION WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I don’t wanna spoil it but y’all need to see that if you haven’t already skskskkssk whether you replay the episode and see yourself or if someone makes a video of it on YouTube (which I feel like someone will eventually)

But omg the very ending with the “thank you for playing” that shit hurted 😭 I literally started crying again but not nearly as much as I thought I would tbh I thought I would be bawling my eyes out for hours but at this point I just feel kinda numb 😂 Like it hasn’t really set in that The Walking Dead just ended. Maybe because I can immortalize it forever in my Steam library and replay it however many times I want (and by reading fanfiction sksksksksks)

(Also this post is gonna be put into my queue until more people play the episode so it probably won’t be posted until later tomorrow. So just know that this post was made at 1 in the morning a few hours after the release of episode 4 and I have to go to school tomorrow morning. Wish me luck)

Long story short, that entire episode was amazing (even if it did fuck with my head a little and was a little emotionally scarring sksksks) and I am so glad I was basically able to grow up with Clementine and this entire series

Also here are some screenshots because why not 😂

sksksksk AJ’s face 😭😂

This shit hurted 😭 (But it’s also a really pretty picture and I highkey want this framed on my wall or at least as my wallpaper on my phone or some shit)

What the fuck when did I ever say it was okay to try and kill someone if they try to steal from you alskhjags (Update: I just realized that this was referring to when I attacked Abel aksjdhkhg AJ THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED YOU TO TAKE AWAY FROM THAT)

This was actually really cool and even though it made me feel a little guilty because some of these choices I made weren’t the best, oh well

And here are my choices because why not 😂

And lastly, I want to thank Skybound from the bottom of my heart for saving this incredible game. If it wasn’t for this company these last two episodes wouldn’t have ever come out and Clementine and AJ’s story wouldn’t have gotten a proper ending. So thank you so much Telltale for starting and creating this amazing game and thank you to Skybound for giving it a proper sendoff.

#twdg #twdg spoilers #spoilers #dont say i didnt warn you #queue #telltale games #skybound #skybound games #the walking dead game #great now im crying #goddamnit

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