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riasuns · 3 years

Text

lily pads

summary: in which armin uses the pads of his fingers to give you the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had.

tags: vaginal fingering, praising, edging, dacryphilia, armin wears a uni sweater.

word count: 671

a/n: istg i got like 5 drafts but i got an attention span of a pea. but i promise to write more if u guys want lolz just need to get my life back on track bc u know,, depression. but anywayzzzzz runs away 🏃‍♀️

armin fingering n edging you for an hour straight. big fat hot tears rolling down your pretty cheeks as you babble nonsense, trying to convince him to let you cum. he just chuckles at your weak state.

“what? baby wants to cum?” he sounds mean and condescending. “no baby… not yet, you don’t know what’s good for you, but i do..” he coos so sweetly into your ear which caused you to whimper and buck your hips to reach that sweet spot that makes you melt into the palm of his hand. his words makes your hot cunt squeeze his fingers so good it’s almost heartbreaking when he slips them out.

“tsk tsk” armin says as he looks at his long, pale fingers covered in the creamy substance that you created. poor you, grasping onto the sleeves of his university sweater that he has on. you cling onto him. his once bright blue eyes that looked like the shore of the ocean are now turned into a dark blue like the deepest part of the sea. he grazes over your doe glossy eyes. “no, no baby, you can’t cum yet, it will feel good once you do though, trust me baby, it will feel so good. you’re doing so good for me.” his wet fingers outline your glossy plump lips, slipping his fingers into your hot cavern. you obey and suck the sticky arousal from his fingers, cleaning them off.

you release them with a light pop. “‘atta girl.” he whispers, trailing his wet fingers down your shivering thighs, the small bumps on your skin forming. “…now, i want you to be good and take what i give you”

you nod fervently moaning his sweet name as his slips his fingers once again into your hot cunt, playing with that spongy spot that makes you feel hot. “love you like this. love this cunt. love you” armin moans out quietly, taking a deep breath of your delicious scent, the pads of his fingers hitting that rigid spot faster and faster every time. the poor band kept forming and and stretching, any second now would snap hard.

“‘min!! min! please! i-im gonna cum! please let me cum! cant no more!” big fat tears are rolling down your cheeks from your doe eyes.

“just hold it a lil longer baby. s-shit, you’re so fucking wet” he groans at the sound of your squelching hot pussy as it’s squeezes his fingers harder as a signal and you were indeed about to snap.

“please ‘min, fuck! i wanna cum for you so bad!” you were gripping his uni sweater to your dear life your knuckles were aching, you just wanted to cum real bad! armin has been teasing and edging you for the past hour while watching a film on netflix, the noise from the background swallowing the desperate moans and shaky breaths you let out.

“ok baby, cum. cum for me. be a good girl and cum for me.” he whispers finally and you rip out a loudest moan of the night, slapping your hand over your mouth to mute a few octaves. “i’m cumming! i’m cumming! i’m cumming for your armin! fuck baby!” you cried, your orgasm hitting you like a literal truck as you finally let the band snap and let loose. tear-stained eyes rolling into the back your head, your moth never stopping the repeating of your lovers name, as if it’s the only word you know.

your pussy spasms and clenches as armin uses his thumb to slowly rub your clit to help you come down your hard orgasm. “that’s it… atta girl… you did so good baby.” armin praises as he kisses your temple as you calm down your breathing. eyelashes wet from your tears, you blink a few times before saying, “thank you ‘min.” still sensitive from the outcome which just makes him smile and give you a gentle kiss of the lips.

“i love you so much baby… now i think your ready for my cock, yeah?”

#omggg what did i just write #runs away #um #armin smut #armin arlet smut #armin arlert #snk armin #snk smut #aot smut #aot armin #please have my children #want him so bad want him to finger me and then fuck me

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cornfarm · 3 years

Text

summertime cicadas

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: you go to saiki’s place to play some video games. saiki learns a bit about your dirty laundry.

cw: suggestions of past sexual abuse. it’s not explicitly stated but it’s heavily implied.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

reader is gender neutral!

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notes:

i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now, but i was never happy with it.

it’s implied that you and saiki are in week 2-4 of dating;;;

i have some other stuff in the works but im tired so notes r boring today

enjoy waaaaaa

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When Saiki and you were left alone together, the tension that hung in the air was fun and playful. Coy glances, the heart jittering brushes of skin, and the almost knowing smiles you two would shoot each other. This time around, it was heavy, and it weighed hefty on both your shoulders.

It was your first time over at his place since you had begun dating.

You had texted him: can i come over? i bought a new game i wanna play it with u

He was very happy you decided to make the first move, he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

Immediately, the “devlivered” at the corner of your text changed to “read”. He hastily typed back: Sure, let me know when you’re here. My parents aren’t home.

You saw letters on your screen, but you squinted your eyes shut upon them entering your field of vision. You had thrown your phone across the room, too nervous to look at his response. Tentatively picking it up, your heart nearly exploded at his words. You quickly respond: okay! be there soon :)

Saiki suddenly felt a bit on edge, realization finally striking him that you were about to be in his presence. In his bedroom. Alone.

Saiki Kusuo never really felt things too intensely, so to feel it strike at his heart and stomach was almost a bit too much for his liking.

Saiki wound up sitting patiently at the dining room table, using his telekensis to pick things up, rearrange ornaments and fine china, and clean up trash. The last thing he wants is you coming over when the place is a mess.

The doorbell rang, not that he needed it to know you were here. Beckoning you in, you pull out a small disc box from your bag.

“I heard really good reviews from it. I was interested in it since I liked the art style but I wanted to wait until people played it and reviews came out before I committed.”

He takes it from your hands to inspect it, “I’m not super interested in recent games, I like older ones a bit more. Indie ones too. I’ve heard that the gameplay is really compelling.”

“That’s okay, we can still play together, right?” You almost look a bit nervous. Saiki gnawed at the inside of his lip.

“Sure,” you don’t look satisfied, “I don’t mind, doing things with you is nice.”

The content expression on your face satisfies him. You follow him upstairs.

Then the tension settles. You’re so close, the pleasant floral scent from your detergent lingering where you walk. He peers behind you as you take in his room: simple, clean, minimalistic. It’s painfully in character. You smile, flopping face down on his bed.

“I’ve only ever been here with everyone else, it was so lively then, but it’s so different when it’s quiet!” You situate yourself so you’re sitting at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side.

“It’s the same room.”

“Yeah but, now it’s just me and you.”

“I suppose so.”

You watch as he peers to the wall, a bit away from you.

“What, you’re not nervous are you? Do I make you, THE Saiki Kusuo nervous?”

He clicks his tongue, and begins stalking towards you. He stops right in front of you, shins nearly touching the mattress of his bed. He looks down, expression deadpanned like usual. Perhaps thats precisely why you got so flustered. Your hands coming to clasp politely in your lap, you look up at him, determined to hold eye contact.

“Mhm,” he smirks, “you do. What will you do about it?”

He watches as your lips part into a small ‘o’, before you turn your head down and begin to pout. He’ll spare you this time. The small proximity between you settles in; he should get out of here, nervousness is finally catching up, it’s a bit too much for him to handle. For such a cocky one-liner, he really can’t keep it together. He exits his room for a moment with a brief “wait here”.

He hears you let out a sigh down the hall. Taking the chance to inspect his belongings, you peer under his bed, nothing suspicious there, before making your way to his desk. There’s his computer, a nice leather desk chair, a lamp, and a small empty mug that holds pens, pencils, and highlighters. You thumb through them.

He re-enters his room, quietly opening the door, but just enough so where you hear. Outstreching his arm, he hands you a bottle of iced tea.

“This is,” inspecting the label, “you don’t usually drink these, right?”

Saiki stays quiet.

“So you got it for me? You remembered I liked it?”

He nods.

You beam at him, mutter your gratitude, and pull out the games box.

Placing the disc onto the disc reader, and pushing it in, you start up the game, and watch the intro animation.

“Yeah, the graphics are really nice,” he comments.

You adjust yourself, sitting on top a cushion on the floor, he moves a bit closer.

Skipping though dialog, tutorials, and the first few levels of the game, Saiki controller finally begins responding.

“I’m sorry, I thought the multiplayer feature would be available from the start.”

“It’s okay, you can pick first”

“Hmm...” you pause, brows furrowing in focus as you look through the different player avatar options. Finally, you turn to him and smile, “this one! Your turn.”

Saiki bites at the inside of his lip, again, moving his thumb over the joystick, he picks his avatar.

It’s nice, it’s quiet, the sound of cicada’s chirping outside his bedroom window, and the soft hum of his fan are gentle. Neither of you are talking about grand things like aspirations and inhibitions, but you didn’t have to. The soft, casual tone of conversation is something Saiki’s making sure to cherish. The game’s fun, Saiki is enjoying himself, he enjoys you.

But tension still looms heavy overhead. You aren’t the only one who was thinking about it, how close you two were, how your elbows kept bumping, the small,and the way you both tried to get just a millimeter closer.

Saiki knew what you wanted, but he couldn’t pull himself to take initiative. Why? Was nervousness just another curse set out to plague him?

He’s reading your mind, he knows without a doubt you want to, so why is he so nervous to reach out and touch you? He wants to run away.

“Saiki?”

Your voice broke his thoughts, he turns to you. “Are you okay?”

He does it without thinking, slowly placing the controller down and putting his palms on your shoulders.

“I’m just not used to this,” he finally says, “like, dating and all that.”

You wrap your fingers around his wrists, “that’s okay, I’ve never dated anyone either, we can just take it slow. We have time.” You reassure, “I’m nervous too,” voice smaller than before. He lifts his hands off, hovering them in front of you, debating on where he should put them. Should he put them back on your shoulders, or would that be weird? Maybe it’s okay if he takes your hands into his, but right now your hands are...

His vision finally focuses, and he looks at your hands, defensively positioned in front of your chest with your palms facing him. You’re looking at him with a half smile, but your brows are pursed down. You’re watching him very carefully.

Your thoughts still, pausing until he moves again, taking your hands in his own. He’s confused, why do you look so skittish?

You look visibily confused that he takes your hands. He’s granted one thought:

He’s not gonna do anything, see? He’s just holding my hands, that’s it. He’s not gonna do anything.

Do what? What do you mean? Do what?

“What do you mean?” He blurts out, voice ringing through your head.

Astonishment paints your face. Shit, you didn’t think you said anything out loud. Could he read your mind? He chooses not to say anything.

You shake your arms, he retracts his hands.

“I’ve just had bad experiences with people in the past, I got nervous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Oh. Your internal dialog isn’t as pleasant as the words you choose to say.

“Maybe I’ll tell you about it more in the future,” you still have the strength to smile at him?

He reaches out to touch you again, but never connecting. He hesitates this time, fingers hovering over your forearm.

“I’m not really interested in that sort of stuff. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you,” he corrects.

With a smile pained with melancholy, you shift yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his shoulder, legs finding their way between his. He wastes no time wrapping his own arms around your back, pressing your chest closer to his own. Your hearts pound against each other, breathing syncing as you both exhale a sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know,” your voice is muffled.

You stay like that for a few moments. Cicada’s chirping, fan blowing, there’s nothing to say- the silence is comforting in it’s own way.

You finally pull away from him, voice much brighter, “but I’m not ready to kiss you yet, I think my heart would explode!” He flushes red. Adjusting to sit back onto the cushion, you lean your weight onto his side. He tension has finally settled, and Saiki sighs contently.

Saiki only uses his powers in ways to convinience himself. Fortunately, keeping you safe was more than convinient to him: it was the bare minimum- an absolute necessity.

As soon as you leave, he’ll find the bastards that did it.

#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki k imagines #saiki k headcanons #saiki x reader

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taehyungsleftear · 4 years

Text

Crave // (M)

Genre: smut; changkyunbadboy!au; changkyunxreader

warnings: denied orgasm.

summary: You’ve had a crush on Im Changkyun for the longest time and for all you know, he doesn’t know you exist... until you go to a party with your friend. At his house.

a/n: i’ve had this in my drafts for the longest time lmao i’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes i’m way too lazy to check it and it’s 1am lmao enjoy (:

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You’re dancing at the house party your friend invited you to. You’re not really sure why she invited you, since you know no one there other than her, although your crush was there — that could’ve been the main reason for her bringing you along. You try to focus on spending time with your friend and having fun but your eyes keep falling on Changkyun. You mentally kick yourself every time you find yourself staring at him.

Your friend, as drunk as she is, wanders off to the bathroom with another friend she came with. You try and follow her, but the party’s too rough to walk through alone. You manage to push through a few people to the nearest empty seats. You sit there for a while, staring at your drink, not intending on even tasting it. You’re about to stand up and leave the party since your friend disappeared and there’s no one you know, when someone sits down beside you. It’s Changkyun. He slides one hand around your waist and pulls you close next to him. You don’t know how to react since he’s been your crush for over four years. He turns his face to yours and places one hand on your cheek before pulling your lips against his to an endless kiss that you wished would last forever. He pulls away, takes your hand and leads you up a staircase just in the middle of the house.

You then realize it’s his house when he takes you to his room. He leads you to the bed and lays you down in the middle. He climbs on top of you, between your legs and starts kissing you slowly. As much as you enjoy his embrace, you push him away and look at him with a glum face. “What about the other girls? And that pretty blond girl? I don’t want to be like them,” you say to him, trying to make him get the hint that you want him to be only yours. He smirks at you and just says, “I knew you were coming to my party, so i got them here to tell them that whatever was going on between us would stop tonight.” You just stare at him with a surprised look on your face. He starts kissing you again, more passionately this time, convincing you that his words were true. He too only wanted you.

You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck as he moves his hands around your waist, underneath you. Your body tingles at the feeling of his hands on you. You’d been waiting so long for this day, you’d thought it would never come. He pulls you up into a sitting position as he turns you around on top of his member and he lays down on his back. Now you were in control. You pulled back and unbuttoned is shirt and he complied and took it off.

You sit on him for a while, feeling his abs and admiring his face. You go in to kiss him again when you realize it’s late and you probably have to go home and your friend would be looking for you. “I’m really sorry i would stay for longer but i have to go. My friends probably looking for me and frankly i’m pretty tired too...” you say sheepishly, still on top of him. “It’s fine, your friends been taken home safely. You’re staying here tonight sweetheart,” he says as he winks at you. You feel a sudden nervousness in your stomach as the words come out his mouth. “There’s just one problem... there’s only one bed.” You feel your legs give out from under you and your vision go black and you fall onto Changkyun’s chest.

You wake up and your eyes are a bit blurry. You can smell a faint scent of bacon from somewhere in the distance. You’re very comfortable and you don’t know where you are, but you know it’s day time. You rub your eyes with the hand closest to your face and you can finally see. You’re snuggled in Changkyun’s arms, against his bare chest , giving and receiving heat. You’re too warm to move and too comfortable to look up. A sudden cold breeze blows onto your neck out of nowhere and you snuggle your face into Changkyun’s neck. He giggles a little and holds you tight. He whispers in your ear, “I think breakfast is ready.” You can feel his hot breath on your neck and it makes you shiver and gives you butterflies.

You register what he said and you sit up and look at him sternly. “Uhh i don’t think i’m ready to meet your parents,” you blurt out a bit too quickly. He just smiles at you and says, “my parents aren’t here for the weekend, don’t stress.” You give a little sigh of relief when you hear his words. “Thank god,” you say. He climbs out the bed and picks you up like a baby and places you on your feet on the floor. You couldn’t help but notice you were in his shirt (and not in the dress you were wearing last night) that was way too big for you, but you didn’t think much of it.

He takes your hand and leads you out the door, and towards the kitchen. His housemaids are cleaning up the mess from the previous night and you can’t believe how you didn’t realize how rich he was before you ended up sleeping in a bed with him. You finally make your way to the kitchen and sit in a chair at the kitchen island. The food was already set out in the table for you and him, so you both sat down and started eating. Once you’ve both ate, a man takes your plates and puts them in the pantry around the corner. You assumed that was his butler.

“I can see you’re tired — i think we should stay in bed today,” Kyun suggested. You just nod your head and he once again, takes your hand and leads you back to the room. You climb into the bed and he climbs in next to you. You lie on your side, facing him and he just lies on his back, playing on his phone. You admire the way he does things and how he keeps his expression the same no matter what is happening. His unoccupied hand, that was under the blanket, finds its way to yours, and he entwines his fingers with yours.

Before you knew it, his face was inches away from yours and you could feel his breath on your lips. His eyes are fixed on your lips. He slowly licks his lips, making you want to jump him right then and there, but you were confused as of what was going on between the two of you. That thought, though, was pushed to the back of your brain as he pressed his lips against yours and pulled you closer. He held you tight, leaving no space between the two of you. You could feel his harden and press against you, setting you off and making you whine into his mouth. That seemed to be all he needed. He turned onto his back and put you on top of him, like last night. “Let’s finished what we started, ey?” he said in a low, gruff voice and a dark look in his eyes.

You just kissed him since you had no idea how to respond. He already wasn’t wearing a shirt so you just slowly maneuver your hands down his chest and abs and stop at his waistband, to tug slightly. You could feel him growing bigger by the second — he couldn’t handle your tease for much longer. You slowly slid his pants half way down his waist, and he couldn’t take it anymore. One second he was under you, and the next he was on top of you. It looked as though his pants were about to rip as he unbuttoned them and slid out of them easily. After he took them off, he looked at you with dark eyes. “Sit on the edge of the bed. Now.”

Oh shit. He was this type of guy in the bed. You immediately do what he says. “Open your legs for daddy.” He says, a smirk on his face. Your face goes red with embarrassment and you slowly open your legs. He lifted up the shirt you were wearing, over your head and tossed to the side. You weren’t wearing anything under it other than panties, and you were pretty sure those were going to be tossed to the side soon as well.

He stared at your half naked body for a while, scanning you up and down. “God you’re beautiful.” he says, eyes not leaving your body. It only took those words to set your body on fire and heat up your core completely and desire pooling between your legs. He kisses your lips and starts moving down to your neck. He bites and sucks on your neck, leaving marks, making you his, and his only. He moved down your neck to your chest, just briefly letting his tongue slide over your now hardened buds. He moved down to your stomach and started sucking again. You moan in pain every time he bites down, but you knew you liked it.

He went down to your thighs, and started kissing you softly and sucking slightly. Your body was on fire and you couldn’t handle it; you were begging for some sort of release. You tugged at his hair while he sucked on your inner thighs and you could feel his grin against your skin. He made his way to your core, and slid his tongue over your wet slit, making you gasp at the sudden contact. He slides his tongue inside you and tastes your womanhood, his hand on your hips holding them down.

Every now and again he would suck on your clit and keep you begging for more. “Kyun! I-I’m gonna cum d-don’t stop!” you shouted, and as the words came out your mouth, he removed his mouth from you, leaving you on the verge of losing it all. You sat up quickly, looking at him, “what the fuck?” You said. He chuckled deeply and moved his lips to your ear, so close you could feel his hot breath on your neck. “I’m not gonna let you cum unless it’s my cock that’s inside you.”

#monsta x im changkyun #monsta x #changkyun x reader #changkyun #mx smut #changkyun smut

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hecksee · 4 years

Text

Stained Flowers

Hi this is angsty af but im struggling right now so imma project onto fictional characters

Sorry @lumosinlove I like making Leo suffer

this is my entry for the @hpbrokenhearts contest, i started out writing this when i was struggling, and tbh i still am, but it’s gotten a lot better.

Much thanks to the wonderful @iswearimnotanaestheticgirl for editing this monstrosity. You wrecked carnage on it, but it helped so much and I love this end result so much.

Thank you so much to @peggyrose19 and @marauderss-hp for looking this over and giving me suggestions!

This is probably inaccurate but I don’t know anything about hockey, and this is fanfic so who cares about the accuracy.

THIS COULD DEFINITELY BE TRIGGERING, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

TW suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, its got a TINY bit of spice sprinkled in (i would rate this teen probably, mature if i was being extra safe), major character death, stress, homophobia, one sided pining, hanakhai, vomiting, something thats sort of like a suicide note, and a shit load of angst

Read on A03 here

Leo knew he was screwed the moment he saw Finn O'Hara on the screen for the first time. He knew he was gonna fall hard. It didn't matter that they had never met or that Leo’s attraction was purely physical. He knew that he would want everything with Finn.

But then Leo started to fall deeper and deeper over time, time that was spent mostly spent obsessing over Finn. Only a few weeks after Leo saw Finn for the first time, it started.

Everybody knew about hanahaki. When someone felt unrequited love, a seed sprouted in their lungs. Nobody knew how or why the seed appeared but it was inevitable.

The victim would start coughing up flower petals, and if their feelings grew, the flowers would grow larger until the victim couldn’t breath because their lungs were filled with nothing but blossoms.

There were only three things someone with hanahaki could do. The main solution was to surgically remove the flowers but have all feelings of love vanish. And some said it was impossible to ever love another person.

So Leo knew exactly what was going on when he started coughing up small yellow petals a few weeks after he first saw Finn on screen.

But, over the next few months he learned to recognize the signs. The tingling in the back of his throat before he started coughing up the silky yellow petals. The itch in his left lung when people mentioned Finn O'Hara. The stabbing pain toward the left of his chest when his teammates threw around homophobic slurs and comments like beads at Marti Gras is nothing new, but now it's accompanied with a burning sensation in his lungs and bloody daffodils.

The daffodils. The fucking daffodils. He decided to look the meaning of the cheery flowers up one day. Unrequited love. After that Leo laughed humorlessly, and decided that hanahaki had a fucked up sense of humor.

Somehow, Leo made it through a full year while coughing up a mixture of blood and petals. He learned how to hide it, how to excuse himself from a situation, and how to choke the petals back down while playing. He made sure that nothing would impact his career, no matter how much longer he had left.

Leo feared that his time was almost up some days. On those days, he wondered Why was he alive? Why did only the left lung sting? Wouldn't it just be better to end it than to live through the constant pain?

He almost made it through a year keeping his hanahaki a secret.

Well, almost. His mom walked in on him cleaning the daffodils smeared with red off the floor, and he had promptly broken down in tears.

He had ended up telling her everything, how he was gay, how he hated himself for it, how he sometimes thought it would be better to just end it all instead, who he loved and why.

His mom had made him tell his coach, insisting it was for the best. There had been a major fight between the coach and him. Leo was yelling and crying but standing his ground about how he needed to play. How playing was the only thing he was living for, damn it. Leo had ended up winning, so he kept playing. And just like before, he kept the hanahaki a secret from everyone, especially his team.

But then, he found out why only his left lung stung. Logan Tremblay. The latest player that was drafted to the Lions. He was newly minted, fresh from Harvard university. Short, broad, brunet, green eyed rookie Tremz.

As soon as Logan stepped out onto the ice for the first time Leo felt that telltale sting. But it was on the right side of his chest for the first time. Fuck, I'm not having unrequited love from one person, but from two?!

His right lung had irises. Royalty, the Fleur-De-Lis, France. Leo didn’t know how those things related to Logan but he could take a guess. Logan was French Canadian born and raised, that had to mean something.

Leo’s life went on. Now he had double the work of fighting the flowers down. Two names instead of one. Leo could tell there was something between Fish and Logan. The intense stares they gave each other across the rink meant something. The tension between them one day had just disappeared. Leo saw something as Logan's hot temper reared up whenever Harzy got into a fight or got hurt.

The signs grew. Rainbow tape on their sticks, posting LGBTQ+ supporting messages on the team Instagram; small things you’d need to look out for, or know exactly what they meant to know the significance.

The real confirmation was when the official Lions Instagram posted the picture of Logan and Finn kissing at a pride parade, smudged bi flags painted on both of their cheeks.

The caption read “We are aware of the homophobia in the league, however, two of our players aren’t willing to hide their relationship from the public anymore. Both Tremz and Harzy have our full support.”

The moment he saw it, the feeling of petals started to itch in the back of Leo’s throat, but he gagged them back as he scrolled through the comments. They were filled with the expected bigotry and homophobia with the occasional biphobic comment. Yet scattered in were the kind comments, full of support, rays of sunshine on a raining day.

Leo started typing out a comment of his own, telling the happy couple how happy he was for them. But the lie was rancid in his head. The flowers Leo had been choking back came up in a wave of blood.

Before Leo got hanahaki, the few dreams he had were filled with a faceless man. One that would kiss him and fuck him, but now, now there were two men. And they had faces.

Finn O'Hara and Logan Tremblay haunted Leo's dreams in the best way possible, more nights than not. Sweet soft kisses, hands tangled in auburn or brown hair, gently worshiping the hard planes and angles that came from a lifelong dedication to hockey were commonplace in Leo's dreams.

In stark contrast, some nights were filled with sloppy, urgent kisses, nails scratching on backs, and a pure need for release. But the dreams would always end, and Leo was left with the burning pain of self loathing building up in his throat before the flowers would make themselves known.

During this dream, Leo had been on fire all night, and it was thanks to him that the team had been led to victory. So here he was with his boyfriends, celebrating.

Leo leaned up to give Finn a soft kiss before turning onto his side and beginning to kiss Logan's neck. Finn had started to ruin Leo and didn't stop until Leo had hit the peak of his pleasure.

However, the aftermath of Leo's pleasure was slowly but surely turning into pain. Suddenly the metallic tang of blood was clogging his throat and the familiar smooth petals were filling his mouth.

The flowers and blood were dripping out of his mouth, and seeping into the white bed sheets. Even worse was that Finn and Logan seemed unsurprised. no, they were almost happy. Their gentle murmurings of praise turned into cold raucous laughter. In between the harsh laughter they told him how stupid he was, how he was a nobody, how they would never love him.

As the flowers only got worse, coming up in waves and mingled with the tears that were rolling down his face, Finn and Logan vanished. Then he was falling, falling, falling.

He woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest, lungs gasping for air in between choking sobs; lying in a combination of petals and blood. His face was sticky with tears and warm, wet blood, and a few stray yellow and white-ish purple petals stuck to his skin. The only indicator that Leo's dream wasn't all bad was the stickiness in his underwear. But the worst part was that he was alone, stuck with only fantasies, once again.

The next day, Leo knew that practice would be bad. Even though yesterday his team was idolizing the Lions, they sure as hell wouldn’t be idolizing them right now. Practice was full of his teammates throwing around a myriad of slurs. The locker-room was even worse, where the coach wasn’t there to monitor their comments.

Leo fidgeted with his bracelet, uncomfortable with the comments that were flying around, with the flowers edging up his throat. He didn’t remember what happened next.

One minute Leo’s fidgeting with his bracelet, the next he’s yelling. Yelling about how people aren’t judged by their sexuality, how hell, maybe there even was a gay person in the room! To that he was obviously asked if he was the gay one, to which, he responded yes. Leo stormed out of the room to a soundtrack, suppressing the flowers fighting their way up his throat as soundtrack of cruel laughter and biting words rang around the room, just like the ones in his dream.

The next day he dreaded going to practice. He knows he won’t be welcome on the team anymore, so what’s the point of going?

Leo ended up just texting his old coach that he was resigning. His team broadcasted the fact that he’s gay on their Instagram. Now Leo’s the target of the myriad of hate that Finn and Leo faced. It made him sick to his stomach. Seconds later, he was puking into the toilet. No flowers this time, but still unpleasant.

He still walked with dragging steps to the rink and practiced, of course. He didn’t want to lose his skills when he attempts to go pro. Trying to ignore the fact that he knows no one will take him now.

Out of the blue, three days after Leo outed himself, his phone rings shrilly. Marlene McKinnon. The Lions announcer. Why was she calling him?

Marlene asked him to play for the Lions because he had great potential. Leo hesitated. Did she not know that he was gay? He pensively inquired about his sexuality, how would that impact his place on the team?

To his surprise, Marlene told him it wouldn’t influence anything. Leo was shocked, but in the happy way. Then she asked if he had any health conditions. Just like the thing about his sexuality, Leo hesitated. Eventually he nodded and said yes.

It’s hanahaki, he told her in a slow voice, but it doesn’t impact my playing.

Fucking lie.

Marlene was silent for a moment but then put him on hold with some shaky words. 5 minutes later, she agrees to let him play, on the condition that his hanahaki doesn’t get worse, and if it does, he needs to have them removed. Leo agreed, and suddenly, Leo was going professional.

Sure, Leo was worried about becoming a Lion; his subjects of affection were there and they were in a happy relationship. But over time, and many, many practices filled with words thrown at O’Hara and Tremblay, he had learned to choke back the petals.

After a few months, the day came where Leo was leaving. With many tears, and a lot of goodbyes, Leo left for Gryffindor. After a couple long flights, and a short taxi ride, Leo stepped out of the car to Hogwarts.

Inside the rink, he was greeted with the signature smell of a hockey arena, he couldn’t quite describe it, but it was pleasant, and reminded Leo of home.

In a blink, he was bombarded with maroon and gold, hugs and welcoming words. When he turned his head from the excitement, he saw them. Finn and Logan, standing back with Pascal Dumais, who he was going to move in with.

After meeting everyone and flipping out while Finn and Logan give him a hug while swallowing down the familiar liquid and petals that up, Leo was informed that he won’t be living with the Dumais’ after all.

“You’ll be living with Finn and Logan, I hope that’s alright?”

Leo quickly excuses himself to the bathroom to let the mixture of flowers, blood, and bile out.

But Leo ended up moving in with Fish and Tremz. However over the weeks, he formed a close bond with both Finn and Logan. Of course, he became closer with the rest of the team, Loops especially. Hell, Leo has a feeling that Loops knows what it feels like to love someone who will never love him back.

But after Sirius and Loops get together, Leo knew that he’s the only one who will never get the privilege of having requited love.

Leo was glad that he had managed to keep it a secret from the team. Well, there were some people he had to tell. After all, Remus was the team medic. Remus was keeping it a secret from the team and the public. But Remus didn’t know who was triggering Leo’s love. The only people who knew were Leo and his mother.

Each practice where the two of them do anything lovey dovey, Leo needs to be excused while he chokes back the flowers that are bringing themselves up his throat. But his goalie face hadn't been developed over happy things, so he shoved his feelings back and forced himself to remain calm, pretending to support their relationship; which he did, of course he did, but Leo wished more than anything that he was there with them. Leo wishes he was there in between them, wishes he was the one holding hands with them, and sharing sweet soft kisses with them.

Hell, more than once in the time when Leo was with the Lions he considered ending it all. The thoughts weren’t new, no, he’d been struggling with them since he had realized he was gay. But now, with the objects of Leo’s affection so close yet so far, he didn’t know if it would be worth living.

But then one day, about three years after the hanahaki had started, Leo woke up with agonizing pain in his chest, like someone was squeezing a palm around his heart. He thought back. The aching had worsened every time he interacted Finn and Logan. Now the flowers were coming up almost every hour of every day. The tingling feeling is now always at the back of his mind. As soon as Leo thought about Finn and Logan he felt flowers coming up.

The flowers are accompanied with a burning pain instead of a small stab. All of the flowers are full blossoms, a few with stems and leaves. They’d be perfect and prim, beautiful, if they weren’t coated in enough blood to look like a murder scene.

This was it; this was one of his last days, if not his last.

With slow robotic steps, Leo stands up, taking some deep breaths. He fished a pen and a notebook from his cabinet, and started to write four letters.

The words to his family tell them how sorry he was at how bad he was at hiding his worsening hanahaki, how much he loves them, and how he wishes he could have said goodbye in person.

“I’m sorry for causing you pain.”

In the letter towards the team he apologized for hiding his disease and explained how thankful he was to be a part of his dream team. He told them how different the Lions were to his old teams, how they were a family and how they loved each other no matter what, regardless of their differences.

“Thank you for being like a family to me.”

In the one addressed to Logan and Finn, Leo explained how they were the subjects of his attraction, how much they influenced his life coming out by choice, consequences be damned. Through blood, sweat, tears and flowers, he found himself rattling on and on about how much he loved them, how he fell in love with them, and how much he valued the friendship they had; even if it was just friendship. Leo’s hand lingered as he thought about it. Would this letter cause the two of them to blame themselves? Should he really write it?

No. He had to. Leo added a note telling them not to. It wasn’t their fault, it was his choice.

He brushed away the crimson mess. With droplets of blood staining his fingers, Leo starts on the final and most formal letter.

Leo wrote vaguely in this letter. He told that he did have hanahaki, and how he had dealt with it for years before he joined the Lions. He publicly commends the Lions for being so accepting of him, even though he had hanahaki and he was gay. Finally, he thanked his fans for staying with him through it all.

Then, with all the letters finished, Leo sealed them in envelopes and wrote to whom they are addressed to. Gingerly, Leo placed them on his nightstand and prepared for his final practice.

During practice Leo told everyone how much he appreciates them, which wasn’t too unusual, so nobody took much notice. Otherwise, practice was uneventful. Leo blocked some passes as they prepped for their game with Hufflepuff next week.

Leo was coughing almost nonstop during practice but he chokes back the blood, bile, and flowers. He allowed himself to think that this is the last time he’d have to push it down. The aching pain in his chest doesn’t subside, if anything it only grew worse the longer practice goes on.

Leo walked into the locker-room, preparing to take a shower and stretch before heading home when the aching in his chest grew. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears and the world around him blurred. He swayed, unsteady on his feet, trying not to cry or scream. His breaths were labored, he was becoming lightheaded and his heart was pounding in his chest. The pain became too much to bear and Leo’s legs failed on him.

The team rushes over with concerned expressions on their faces. On his knees, the flowers, stems, and leaves start to come up, splattering all over the cold ground, no matter what Leo does to try and keep them back. The team became frenzied, calling for Remus.

It was too late. Leo knew that this was his end.

Once, when Leo was little, he asked his grandmother why people didn't just get the flowers removed. She smiled at him sadly and told him that, there might be a person you loved so much you couldn't bear the idea of not loving them. Even if you died for it.

At the time, he brushed it off as stupid but now, now as tears sqeezed through his blurry vision and the feeling of the cold tile floor disappears, he understands exactly what she meant.

The last thought that went through his mind, before the petals, flowers, and blood came up for the last time, was of his two loves. In an instant, all of his fantasies of Finn and Logan melted into the reality of their friendship and flew past his eyes. With one last satisfied smile, Leo closed his eyes. His grandma was right.

Some love really was worth dying for.

Just a quick reminder, this is my entry for @hpbrokenhearts so if you liked this fic or it made you cry/broke your heart, please put a broken heart in the comments, either in emoji form or not! Thank you so much for reading!!!

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sinkix · 4 years

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~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork.

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things.

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

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s-fellows-art · 3 years

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Simplified tips on how to improve your art.

.putting under cut because its long but thats cause i explain these and not just list stuff.

1) Flip/mirror your canvas when working. - it allows you see anatomy and other errors you may overlook.

2) before uploading look at the image on a different screen or the next day. - this give you time away from it, and as tempting as it is to upload as soon as your done, if you wait you will see stuff you can improve on and be able to look at it with “ fresh” eyes.

3) Stop shading with black or grey scale colors- shading with inly these colors make the imAge look muddy, if you shade with a color that is a darker hue of the same color your adding shading to it one in the same tempters ( warm= R Y O cool = B G I V on the Rainbow ) you get more vibrant art and you don’t muddy what your working on.

4) Learn to grey scale BEFORE coloring as a draft p2- learning how to shade in black and white can help you identify lighting points and details. When digital painting simplifying something out to a grey scale can help you keep track of what your doing.

5) Use the tools you have access too- References to learn anatomy , taking time to learn amniotomy will help you a lot in the long term, but doing everything off the top of your head your bond to get something wrong early on, or even later on in art. Use the sharpen tool around highlights if your program offers it. It saves time. Also play with your filters and line art colors. These will ad detail to your work and takes less time. If you mess around with the brushes in your program and stuff before starting it will help you later on. Its not cheating professionals use it all the time.

6) practice drawing random stuff- it teaches you the shapes and trains your hand ti make the strokes/motions needed for basically everything. Art studies can be very helpful. Even if it feels stupid drawing 500 eyes on a note pad, it helps.

7) Simple is good, complex is chaos- over complex art is hard to look at because your not sure what to focus on so the areas you want the eye to go to is where you should focus your details rather then make every single little thing detailed. Another way to do this is to brighten the colors where you want the eye to go at first glance in an image, but make the other areas muted in color, or blurred slightly.

8) Don’t be afraid to look up tutorials and take breaks if you get stuck - I personally only learned how to shade faces from watching makeup tutorials. And there is nothing shameful in not knowing how to do something and needing to look it up or ask, its how you learn you can just power you way through it all the time, and somethings your wasting your time if you do for something not worth it in the end run. Also the act if stepping back and away to go do something else is sometimes all you need, sometimes looking at the same file over and over again can be mentally exhausting. Take a break. Drink some water. Stretch your wrists. Look away from it for a while then come back.

9) Stretch your wrists before working- save your self years if pain trust me. I regret not doing this. Also draw from your shoulder not your wrist unless detailing, less stress on your arm and more precision.

10) Use different line thicknesses - i find using thicker lines for areas that touch the outer parts of your drawing or more important areas, and using thinner for detailing adds a bit of detail and quality to your work even if the line art isn’t clean. Inner face parts (other then the top bracket of the eyes), lines between fingers, lines marking clothing folds, and things like that should be done in thinner lines then eyebrows and what not.

Next two some will role your eyes at but honestly makes a huge difference, even if you got to force it at first. Its hard to break a bad habit.

11) don’t look for flaws in your work, look for what you like about it,- if your constantly pointing out what is wring with what you are doing your not gonna go any where, bare minimum go “ okay im not too happy about this, lets see how we can improve it” instead if “ this looks like garbage I hate it”. If you stay in the mentality of I don’t like this , your never gonna be happy with what your making or improve because subconsciously your telling you self you can’t. This slight change in mind set of trying to find at least one thing you like will make a big difference in the long run because slowly you will be moving towards finding a style your comfortable with and going from there, you will be finding things you

12) don’t compare you self to other artist- its one thing to want to take influence in your fave artist, its another to constantly out yourself down because your not like them. Everyone art started as shit. Everyone. We all were that crappy 1 year old can barely hold a pen person at one point. like learning how to read and write or ride a bike.... No one starts as a perfect artists, its something you learn, so comparing your self to people around you is not gonna help you improve and putting yourself down just because your not perfect yet. Even if its something as little as “im happy I finally finished this” is better then “I wish i was like _”. You are slowly moving towards a goal, some people just move quicker then others because they learn different techniques, instead if putting energy into hating everything you do why not try to learn how the people you like the art of got there by learning some techniques your self?

13) Ignore the notes enjoy the journey- Regardless , you making art is amazing in itself . Its something only you have made. There may be other things like it but its not like how you did. Your unique and honestly ignore the notes, if your constantly pushing yourself based off of numbers, your gonna burn your self out and give your self impossible expectations to try to complete. Everyone has different tasted and are not always gonna like what you do the same way, if at all, there is nothing wrong with what you made you simply just can’ please everyone and its not your job to. The notes are a bonus, not a goal, you don’t have to try to compete for them the only person you have to create for for is you. Do what ever the hell you want and if people like it, great, if they don’, then they like a different cup of tea then yours, don’s make it bad tea. Edit 1 as i thought of more : also the reason your sketch looks better then your line art is because your line art is too neet. If you use difrent thicknesses in lines (thicker for outter areas and important areas) and thinner for areas with more movment (bottom crese of eyes or outline of area around puple inner part of mouth clothing inner parts or what ever u feelis needed) it will look better because it will show your brush strokes which is what makes your sketch look good. -You can also add a 3d effect woth the red and blue outlines on areas that are not the central focus of the peice. Blurring has the same sort of effect to where it forces the eye onto the clearer area if the photo and makes it more visually intresting. Having this effect everywhere however can make stuff hard to focus on and diffcult to look at so only keep it on non focus points (most common focus point is the face so wouldnt put it there) .

Idk how helpful these will be but they made a big diff in my progress over the past year. The last bunch made a significant difference for me, though it was really hard to force myself into that mentality. And i still skip doing some of these in occasion ill admit but i hope this helps none the less.

#art tutorials #4 am sorry if theres typos #S.fellowsart #long post

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

#tgcf liveblog #so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles

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2lovesihaveofcomfortandfandoms · 4 years

Text

Skinamalink: Chapter 7

Despite being in lockdown, it’s still taken me 4 days to post this somehow. Ah well. It’s up and I’ve also made some edits back the ways as well - nothing major just a bit of fixing the flow.

archiveofourown.org/works/20955815/chapters/55940269

Or here, if you fancy:

Chapter 7: Monster Back In Town

Vlad smiled wide – crooked teeth on show. Shark’s teeth – or a wolf’s. Either way, something carnivorous and hungry. But perhaps what was more terrifying was how genuine Vlad’s smiles were. Dark eyes brightened and laughter lines gathered around them.

‘Are you ever going to let me off the hook for that?’ Vlad chuckled.

‘No.’ Edward’s response was solid and definite, leaving little room for argument. Nevertheless, Vlad tried,

‘Be fair, Eddie – I was doing what was best for you.’

‘Debatable.’

‘Is it? What do you think Sikes would have done to you if he knew you were my son?’

Edward didn’t need to think – he knew. And it would probably have started with his kneecaps and a crowbar. But he wasn’t about to give Vlad the satisfaction, so Edward only shrugged in response.

‘Fine. Sulk if you want to. You’re avoiding the question. How do you feel now that Sikes is awake?’

Where to begin? He had taken to checking over his shoulder more often in the past week. And double-checking that the door was locked. Scrutinising the crowd in the café for familiar but unwelcome faces. But that was natural, wasn’t it? A man who wants to kill you comes back into the picture, you're bound to get a little paranoid. Edward knew the kind of man that Bill Sikes was and what he was capable of. He had witnessed it – even participated in some of it. And don’t all monsters fear the monster who made them? Not that Vlad would understand that – he was a monster all by himself.

‘Eddie?’

‘Look, I’m not doing great, but I’m handling it. Dorian’s the one we should be worried about.’

‘That’s really why you called me, isn’t it?’ Edward nodded. ‘You think he might start using again?’ Another nod. ‘He’s been clean five years.’

‘Sikes being in a coma helped with that. And honestly, I’d find it hard to blame him if he lapsed. Sometimes... sometimes it was the only thing that could get him through it at all.’

‘You didn’t need it.’

‘A lot of the others did. Sikes made your life his or he made it hell – sometimes both. A lot of us were too young to see and do the shit we did – so we found ways of coping.’ And then he said in a whisper, and mostly to himself, ‘We were just kids.’

‘I know.’

Vlad cast his mind back to the first time he’s seen Edward. Fifteen. Hair shaggy and black. Green eyes unmistakable, even with the bruising around one of them. The split lip. The slight limp. His face had been so thin and tired that he looked several years older than he was. Now, Vlad didn’t often get sentimental, but Edward had slowly teased it out. And the thought of anyone harming the boy... incited a vicious streak and violent thoughts that surprised even Vlad. And if Sikes did come for his son... well, this time Sikes wouldn’t even make it back to the hospital.

‘I should go. I’ve got work to do.’

Vlad squeezed Edward’s shoulder,

‘Alright, Eddie. You know that if you need anything – anything – you come to me.’

‘Yeah.’ Edward reached for the car door.

‘Eddie... if things get worse with Dorian – you will let me know, won’t you?’

‘Course I will.’

Edward left the car without a backward glance. Vlad watched as he walked back inside the café, closing the door hard behind him. Vlad paused to adjust a cufflink and said with incredible nonchalance,

‘Renfield, I want another man put on the hospital.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘And if I find that any of our dealers are distributing to Mr Gray, they will find themselves on the nasty end of a spike.’

‘Of course, sir.’

DS Newcomen was in a growling bastard of a mood. Once again, the news had been delivered that his application for the post of Detective Inspector had been denied. No, no – someone else was being transferred into the unit, they said. A more efficient use of resources, they said. A load of bollocks, Newcomen thought. He’d been a DI once, hadn’t he? He still would be if Sikes hadn’t gone and got his head bashed in a car crash. Eight years ago, he had been on the heels of something great – just a few steps away from getting Sikes behind bars for good. But no bad guy, no case. No case... ten years of his life up in smoke.

But now... now he had a chance for redemption – a chance to finally make the case and get everything back. And it was getting snatched away again.

When Newcomen heard that Sikes was awake, he damn near fell out of his seat. He’d rushed straight to the hospital and had stayed there for hours until the doctors had let him in the room. There had always been something about that car crash that didn’t feel right – something that didn’t quite fit – and he was going to get answers.

Sikes had smiled at him when he stepped inside,

‘Well, well, Inspector... time wasn’t kind to you, was it?’

‘It’s Sergeant now. You cost me DI.’

‘Shame. Where’s my fruit?’

‘What?’

‘You visit someone in hospital, you’re supposed to bring ‘em fruit.’ Newcomen bit the inside of his cheek and swallowed down the urge to arrest.

‘I ain’t here for a visit. I have questions.’

‘I hope it ain’t on current events – I’m a bit spotty there.’

‘No. I wanna ask about the car crash.’

‘Car crash?’ Sikes shrugged his shoulders and grinned like a hyena – deliberately evasive. ‘What car crash?’

‘Yes. Car crash. That’s how you got here. You know that. Do you remember anything about it?’

‘Nah. Nothing.’

‘Nothing?’

‘Nothing. Dashboard must’ve hit the ol’ noggin too hard. Sorry.’ Again, Sikes smiled and shrugged – it wasn’t apologetic, it was smug. It said, you couldn’t touch me then and you can’t touch me now – if you think I’m going to answer your questions, you’re even stupider than I thought you were.

‘I’m done here, Sikes. But I’ll be back.’

‘Next time bring fruit. I like strawberries.’

Newcomen had left and had been in a bad mood ever since.

He flipped through the meticulously arranged binder on his desk – one of three. All on the same subject – the life and crimes of William Sikes. Some might call it obsessive. It was obsessive. But when questioned, Newcomen would always say that to catch a criminal you need to be a little obsessed. A cup of bad coffee from the machine was placed on the desk in front of him.

‘Ugh, Skip, again with the binder?’

‘It’s called police work, constable.’

‘The new DI’ll be here any moment.’

‘Exactly. I’m gonna give ‘im this and tell ‘im we should take the case.’

‘What case, Skip?’

‘Sikes is awake. Which means, after all this time, he can be brought to justice.’

‘Skip, I don’t get it. There’s plenty bad guys out there – what is it about Sikes?’

‘How old were you eight years ago?’

‘Fourteen.’

‘You’d have been a good age for him.’

The constable shifted uncomfortably where he stood. Newcomen turned his attention back to the binder.

‘What... what exactly does that mean?’

‘Sikes liked drafting kids into his crew. He’d find kids in need. Give ‘em a place to stay. Get ‘em fed. Make ‘em feel safe. But now they owe him, so he asks ‘em to do a job – and they feel like they can’t say no. So, they do it. And now he’s got ‘em committing a crime, so he uses it to make ‘em do more. Before long, he’s groomed these kids into criminals and they’re a long way from who they used to be. So it’s not just that Sikes is a bad man who does bad things. He drags other people down with him.’

There was a pause, then the constable said softly,

‘How many kids?’

Newcomen flipped several sections of the binder and spun it around for the constable to see. The page bore a list of names. There were forty-three in total but to look at it, they seemed to go on and on. All forty-three were arranged neatly alphabetically with birthdates – and in the case of an unfortunate handful, death dates. The constable blinked, refusing the tears passage.

‘You understand me now?’ The constable nodded. ‘Then get back to work.’

The atmosphere in the café had not improved and everyone felt the tension. Lucy was staying quiet. Justine bore it, even though confusion poked and prodded her. Adam stayed in the kitchen away from it all.

The winter sun had set two hours ago – still leaving them with another three to go. Lucy rapped her knuckles on the side of the kitchen window.

‘Adam?’

‘Yes, Luce?’

Adam ducked down so that his face was visible through the gap.

‘Close up the kitchen, love. I’m gonna shut us for the night.’

‘What about the boss?’

‘The boss’ll deal with it.’

Adam nodded and gave a small smile. It was one thing to be grateful for – Adam’s smile had never been affected by the scars across his face. It was a good smile – kind and genuine.

‘How are you doing with all this, love?’ Adam shrugged.

‘Not gonna lie, Luce, the thought of Sikes being awake... of him being out again... I don’t like it, Luce. Not at all. I mean, sure, the goons who did this,’ Adam gestured towards his face, ‘are long gone – but the man’s a monster... and he’s going to hurt people.’

Lucy reached out and gave Adam’s hand a squeeze. It too was patterned with raised scars.

‘It’s gonna be ok.’

Lucy left Justine to start cleaning. When she reached the door of Edward’s office, she knocked softly.

‘Ed?’

There was no response. Lucy pushed the door open. For a moment, Lucy thought that Edward must have left. He wasn’t at his desk and his jacket was gone from the back of his chair. A slight shuffling sound drew Lucy to the couch. The leather jacket was serving as a makeshift blanket and his shoes were kicked off so that he could curl his legs up.

‘Ed? Ed!’

Edward jolted awake – eyes bleary and hair tousled out of place.

‘Jesus, Luce – what the hell?’

‘You’re sleeping?’

‘I’m fucking tired. I was woken at five.’ Edward rubbed his eyes. ‘What d’you want?’

‘Wanna close the shop.’

‘Shit, is it ten already?’

‘Seven – but it’s quiet. And I don’t think anyone is feeling it tonight.’

Edward didn’t even have the resolve left to contradict her. He started to pull his boots back on.

‘Alright. Let’s close it down. Where’s Dorian?’

‘Gone.’ Edward jolted upward.

‘What!?’

‘Ed, it’s alright. He left with Basil an hour ago.’ Edward grumbled and sank back down on the couch. ‘Ed, is Dorian using again?’

‘No. Maybe... I don’t know.’

Lucy settled herself beside Edward and put an arm around his shoulders. They stayed there for a long moment, silent, in the reassuring company of the other.

‘We’re all gonna be here. Whatever happens, Ed. We’ll stick by you.’

‘You shouldn’t.’ Edward shrugged Lucy’s arm away. ‘Sikes is gonna come for me – and when he does, no one can be anywhere near me.’

‘He might not, Ed.’

‘I put him in a coma, Luce,’ said Edward, hands running through his hair. ‘He’s coming for me.’

#skinamalink #fanfic #victoriangothictrash #violence #past drug use

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sunnyupsidedown · 6 years

Text

Thoughts On: The Raven Cycle

(Or more appropriately named, Me screaming about my feelings into the void known as the Internet.)

Note: I never actually finished writing this out and editing it so it would be readable. It’s been in my drafts for years and I’m spring cleaning. Here’s me uncensored and with no direction.

Let’s get this out of the way. So if you haven’t read The Raven Cycle Series by Maggie Stiefvater, this is the part where I tell you to put aside all your misgivings and just read it. That is, if you’re like me and the summary didn’t do it for you. If you’re like me and thought that it’s going to be four books about Blue and her harem of boys crying about the fact that she can’t kiss any of them. Let me tell you, you’re wrong. You’re so far from right, you’re in a different galaxy. The summary does the books zero justice. I tried to summarize it better to my roommate and I couldn’t. These books are books you just have to read.

That aside, the rest is below the cut because it’s basically me ranting about anything and everything from the series because I have a lot of feelings.

Spoilers Below

Individual Books - Romance - Characters - Miscellaneous

The Raven Boys

This book here was basically me asking myself why I didn't read the series sooner. Like the prologue was eh, but the moment Blue implied that she was an amp, I was in. I love shit like that. And then there was chapter two with Gansey being Gansey and then finding out Adam and Ronan do dumb shit together. Yeah. Well. I was doomed. Yes yes the usual, plot was a little slow paced. I kept wondering "man, when are Gansey and Blue gonna meet?" Or "when are they gonna go King hunting?" When they finally did stuff it was great! But I think it was great because the characters are so well established. But I'll rant on that later.

Anyway, actually yeah, getting to know the characters in this book was wow. God damn it's not a fucking competition on who has the worst backstory. My heart cannot take it. I really want to read a prequel about how they all came together. I need details. Everything is so vague (like mentioned in offhand lines) (i.e. Ronan hating Adam at first or how Adam helped Gansey's car (which is pretty solid but give me more conversation)).

Speaking of vague...NOAH! God. Let me be smug for a bit. I figured out the mystery as soon as Barry mentioned being in his mid-20s.

Hints:

"I've been dead for 7 years."

Noah having a first name when everyone calls each other by their last.

Barry's friend only having a last name.

Boom yeah. Anyway. Noah, my boy. The true mvp, but that rant will come later. "Don't throw this away.” Gosh. End me.

Again speaking of vague. I love and hate Ms. Maggie's style. I love how pretty it is.

Favorite character in this book kept switching between Gansey, Blue, and Adam. Me while reading was basically, Who’s Ronan?

The Dream Thieves

I love that Ronan’s POV was included in this. I stereotype book characters all the time. It’s natural since it helps establish a certain character without having to spell out every single detail. So yeah. I stereotyped Ronan as a punk (true) that was crude (true), rough (half true), and didn’t care about anything (not true). Getting to know Ronan more in this book killed me.

Kavinski was meh. He was a cool kid. Idk why ppl love him so much? Like he was def a cool character. Maybe I read the books too fast to really appreciate him.

Bragging again, I figured out Ronan’s mom was a dream thing from the prologue (though it wasn’t that hard? idk. Matthew was a surprise).

Adam was winning the favorite character battle but now Ronan’s a strong contestant.

Blue Lily, Lily Blue

RONAN HAS WON. HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. Why? The EpiPens! That sealed it. Nothing will be able to trump that. I seriously had to stop reading at that part. It was too much.

I really don’t know what happened in this book. That’s one of the things about the writing (or maybe it was just me reading things too fast) but it was kinda hard to keep track of time. Things that I though happened weeks apart happened on the same day, or things that I thought happened on the same day actually happened weeks away. So it was kinda hard to keep track of events.

TRC & Romance

Before we get to the last book, I just want to put this rant that I started about two chapters into the 4th book because I just love this series so much and I was wondering why.

So typically I’m like “Fuck Romance! Get out of my books and tv shows!” (well, unless I’m specifically looking for it…) but the romance (or relationships in general) in the raven cycle is SO. GOOD.

And here I was wondering why and why and why and I figured it out.

The thing about Romance in YA novels (I say YA because I mainly read YA), is that it feel like it’s a prize for the Main Character to achieve at the end of the book. Like, you battled a bunch of crazy zombies alongside this hot babe you met maybe a week ago, now make out and live happily ever after! Like the Love Interest is only there for the MC to end up dating in the end. Sure they can be important to the plot too but there’s always a focus on “These two will be together in the end. Period.” And I hate it. I guess it’s because I love slow burns and I find it so unrealistic because Love typically doesn’t happen like that.

Like typically, a guy or girl will not walk up to someone and say “You’re hot go out with me.” Well, not unless they want maybe a drink dumped on them. I don’t like how when the MC meets their LI, they stop knowing how to communicate with other human beings. Like haven’t they ever had a normal conversation with another human? Don’t they have friends.

And that’s where I figured it out. Gansey & Blue and Ronan & Adam, they were FRIENDS first.

Well, Adam did ask Blue out kinda…. I’ll get to that later.

But they became friends! It wasn’t all about mantic pixie dream girls/boys. Or the most popular girl/boy in school. Or some rival from an enemy territory. It was a just a bunch of kids looking for a king together.

(Adam and Blue something about including her with the boys, how when the began to know each other it doesn’t work out. and that’s normal. But they still end up friends because they do like each other. And it’s not all suddenly, we’re dating so we now have no other friends/I can no longer think rationally [cough Graceling cough]) Gansey eyeing their hand holding less because “Omg im in love with this chick” and more like “who is this girl invading our group.”

The way the small love triangle between Blue, Adam, and Gansey was so well handled. Like the friendship between Gansey and Adam didn’t suffer (too much…) because they weren’t gonna let something like that ruin it because it was strong.

And then Gansey’s all like “I gotta think of something clever to tell Blue later” and it’s so fucking dumb and sweet and that’s kinda what I do to my friends and they don’t really like like each other but it slowly grows with the night calls and the driving to nowhere and they still fight with each other and it’s all so normal and real that it hurts and I actually look forward to their interactions, not necessarily romantically, but just hanging out. Like I could read chapters of all of them just playing cards or something, doing mundane shit.

Ronan and Adam. Idk because I haven’t gotten that far but apparently in the beginning god sai- in the beginning Ronan hated Adam because Ronan loved Gansey and not really in the romantic way but in the we are friends and I will now DIE FOR YOU, type of love and he was fucking jealous. But now they’re cool and they go do random shit together (like framing a crazy dude). And it’s not all, I like you and now you will magically start liking me back. There was build up to this, like Ronan going back for Adam from his dad, and Ronan paying for Adam’s rent secretly, like Adam actually saying thank you.

Even Blue and Ronan. Like how he doesn’t even think about saving her from falling down a hole. How he cries on here shoulder because he can do it and not be judged. Because they are friends. Even if they do not interact often.

And then there’s Maura and the Gray Man. idk where this one is going.

tl;dr: The complex relationships and romance between the characters in the Raven Cycle are hella good.

The Raven King

Oh my god. I am dead. My soul has been carved from my body. Gansey. My boy. Fucking Noah. God damn.

Let me just say that Adam’s analogy(? metaphor?) of the summer storm and the kiss was so fucking good. I will remember that forever. Like that is probs my favorite passage from the book.

Ronan is so sweet and pure and needs lots of love.

Writing in General

Weird how it skips around. Like there’s a little view in the scene and then suddenly it jumps to a vague conclusion. I like knowing what happens between. I like the clean up shit. But then again if it happened the pacing of the book would have been very weird.

Characters

Gansey: it’s like watching someone slowly learn negative emotions. He started out all innocent and full of ideals and happiness, he just wanted to find his King, and then he learns fear and anger and worry and death. Real life. He’s definitely very grounding. How he steps back occasionally and thinks “God this is so fucked up. This is not okay. I want everybody to be safe.”

Ronan: God. Ronan. This boy. I like how you don’t really think of him as I guess nice. But he’s probably the most human of all. Like his outward appearance is some tough boy who’ll fuck you up, but he’s actually really soft? His words are crude but his actions are caring.

Adam: 😫

Blue: I love her. She’s so fierce and strong and human. How she just rolls with it. Kinda.

#the raven cycle #trc #thoughts on #m #this is literally me crying into a puddle about how much i love trc

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b4kuch1n · 6 years

Text

two ghosts in Morioh

another day of running around taking care of businesses with my mom. Got some down time in the afternoon and spent it on this. yes Im a fluff writer now. somebody take me out the back

warning for non-plot, terrible poetry (Im serious. Ive never written a poem in english before. its not too nice to the hand), a filler OC thrown in on the spot, lotsa outta-nowhere headcanons, and all else possibly applicable.

Read on AO3

Okuyasu finally picked up.

Which was a good thing, because Josuke didn't wanna seem fussy or overbearing. 'twas a lost cause anyway, his mom would tell him, given that he had been anxious ever since he came home from the supposed double date that afternoon, and had walked from one end of the hall to the other over forty time (yes, she counted up until forty), mumbling to himself, hands firmly in his pants' pockets because he knew the moment he stopped holding it tight he would ruin his pomp by running his hand through his hair in frustration. An emotion that he caused to himself, his mom would remind him, because he refused to just walk over to Okuyasu's house and knock.

When the boy in question finally picked up, Josuke was a bit stiff from the draft in the hallway as well as from the tension built up by being stubborn. Okuyasu's voice only just managed to break through.

“Josuke?”

He sounded a bit hoarse. “Yeah, dude, I'm here,” Josuke said. The tension didn't leave him immediately like he hoped. “You didn't come.”

“Fuck, sorry about that. I'm jus'... 'm not in the best mood right now. Didn't wanna ruin it for you guys.”

“Shit, what happened? You okay?” Josuke could hear something fell on the floor with a metallic clunk. “What's that?”

“Oh it's-- 's the paint can. I'm fixin' up big bro's room upstairs. Been meaning to for a while now so... It's.” Okuyasu trailed off.

Josuke felt his shoulders stiffen up a bit more.

“It's some'n to do.”

Josuke bit his lip. After a moment of consciously picking off all traces of anxiety from his manners, he said, calmly, “I'm gonna come over.”

“No, dude, y'don't have to!” Okuyasu immediately barked, with something like panic in his tone. “I'm a bummer right now,” he added, almost sheepishly. “It's dumb, it'll go away on its own. Jus' some'n from the class.”

“Don't even think of it as me coming over to comfort you if that's better.” Josuke had to actively try to stay nonchalant now. “I'm helping with the room fixin'. It's gonna take the rest of the night with just you. That cool?”

He just caught his free hand moving towards his head on its own when Okuyasu sighed and he could hear the paint can being picked up. “Fine. I'm gonna be upstairs, let yaself in when you're over.”

By August 1999, Okuyasu had been sleeping in the guest room downstairs for ten months.

Keicho was a private person, and nobody could blame him at that. No kid would want to leave their toys trailing about when their father was so quick to anger. Keicho had faced so much of that misdirected rage, had put himself between his father and his younger brother so many times, that anything he had that wasn't broken he held on with an almost death grip. His routines, his CD collection, his rules, his own anger. He never learned to let go, and Okuyasu, whom Morioh had given more chances than it ever did his brother, had been feeling something like pity for that, and then guilty for pitying his brother.

He didn't really want to use Keicho's room again, especially when he never got his brother's permission. When Keicho had left balancing the book in Okuyasu's hand, their life became a clash between Okuyasu's fussing about trying to take care of things and Keicho's own rhythm and order, the solution to which that they came up with being that Keicho got the entirety of the second floor to himself. Okuyasu didn't mind – everything was simple with him, really – but after Keicho's death he felt even more out of place in that part of the house.

“It's fine if you wanna seal it off, dude,” Josuke told him one evening when he stayed the night, “you're the one living here. It's not like people know or care about that stuff, either way.” Josuke was smart, but he also believed in courtesy and manners even though he had been subjected to so much of the opposite of that, and it made for a strange kind of trust in humanity. One that was different from Okuyasu's own.

So in the end he decided to only seal Keicho's room. He had been slowly packing everything his brother left behind in the house into small carboard boxes and stashing them in the hallway. He wanted to keep a whole afternoon and evening free just to fix up the room itself, but he didn't think today would be it.

“Yeah, Koichi actually steered me home the moment we were sure you wouldn't show,” Josuke said mid-sweep. “I don't think Yukako mind. Actually I'm pretty sure Yukako doesn't really want me there third wheeling them. Gotta say I was about the same.”

“Sorry for leaving you hangin',” Okuyasu repeated, just as apologetic as when he said it the first time.

“It's not your fault you aren't well, dude,” Josuke stood up straight, free hand in his pocket. “Though a word beforehand would be good. But you were home late from the class, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Goto-sensei holding you up again?”

“Nah, he's nice.” He would be, after Josuke and Okuyasu dragged him out of some serious troubles last month. He was also a nice man in general. Okuyasu thought his writing style really didn't reflect that.

Josuke raised an eyebrow at his answer. Well, Josuke would have a different impression of Mister Goto Azuma, moderately famous novelist, given that the one who had to take a pen in the arm to grab the man (then under a Stand's control) was him and not Okuyasu. That kind of viciousness must keep people wary for a long time. Not to mention the apology gift they got was a place in Goto's ten-hour creative writing course organized by the uni, which was of no use to Josuke, but which Okuyasu snatched right up.

Outside of that event though, Goto-sensei was a mild-mannered, if a bit emotional and wordy person. He had anguish in his heart, sure, but he told Okuyasu once in class, in the tone of someone who was citing their name and age, that he wanted to love everything and anything more than he wanted to wallow in his sadness, so he channeled all of it into his writing and left his personal life free for his other emotions. Okuyasu found that a good way to do things as any.

“I'm gonna trust you on that,” Josuke said after a stretch of silence. Okuyasu grinned. “Anyway, something happened during the writing class then?”

“Yeah-- well, nah, but yeah.” Okuyasu rubbed his hands nervously under Josuke's confused look. “I mean, kinda? Goto-sensei gave us a prompt, and then I wrote something sad, and it bummed me out. 's all.”

Josuke's eyes grew wide. “Oh,” he said, “huh.”

“Yeah, it's dumb. Tolja don't mind it.”

“It's not dumb if it bums you out, dude.” Josuke leaned the broom against the desk and stepped closer to Okuyasu. His pomp looked almost plastic-ish under the buzzing light of the room. Okuyasu blinked when he held his biceps with both his hands. “I like you happy, Okuyasu. We gotta go there somehow, and I'm not a waiting man.”

Okuyasu looked at Josuke, eyes somehow brighter than the light should've made them, hands holding him firm as if willing him to believe. As if that had ever been necessary. He took a deep breath, and broke out in a grin.

“Thought so. You're a musical man.”

“Hell yeah I am.” The grin crept up onto Josuke's face, and he dragged Okuyasu in for a quick hug. “So, what's that piece you wrote today about?”

“I mean, you can read it.”

It must be impossible for Josuke's eyes to grow wider than this. This was maximum wide eye for him. “Really?”

“'s not fine art or some'n, but if you're cool with that, why the hell not. Wait here.”

Josuke waited in Keicho's half-cleaned room while Okuyasu went downstairs to fetch his notebook. Goto-sensei didn't care what his students did with what they wrote after class (“It's yours,” he had said, with passion, “and me telling you what to do with what's inherently yours is against everything I live for. Any experience you have with your own writing is deeply personal and unique, and if that includes setting your drafts on fire and inhaling the smoke, who am I to keep that from you?” He seemed to actually got misty-eyed at that idea.), but Okuyasu liked the man, and he thought keeping the things he wrote in his class in order was a way to show respect to a good teacher. Or it could at least make up for his terrible handwriting.

He flipped through the notebook as he went back upstairs. Man, he wrote more than he thought he did.

“Here,” he handed the notebook – opened to the correct page – to Josuke, who had finished sweeping the room and was bouncing on the balls of his feet in a subdued excitement. Josuke seemed extra careful with his hold on the thing.

“It's a poem?” Okuyasu didn't think that was actually meant to be a question, but he faltered a bit nonetheless.

“It's-- yeah. You aren't into that?”

“Dude, I barely read actual literature no matter what kind, that's not the thing. I'm just... poems are supposed to be even more about emotions than, like, novels and shit, right? I, uh...”

Josuke bit his lip. Okuyasu tried to follow the thread of logic.

“Goto-sensei said our writing is whatever we will it to be. If ya worry this won't be manly and cool, I'm gonna. I'm gonna will it into being for ya.”

“It's not that, dummy.” Josuke smacked him over the head with the notebook. He was smiling again though, so Okuyasu didn't mind. “I just don't think I can get the whole experience without you, like, walking me through it. Since you're the one with the emotions in this poem and all. So can you...”

Okuyasu grabbed the notebook. He looked at Josuke, and then at the words on the page between them, and then tentatively finished that hanging thought. “...recite it for ya?”

“Forget it if it bums you out again, okay?” Josuke held his hands up. “I'm cool either way. I wanna read it properly, sure, but if it's gonna ruin the night for you then forget it.”

Okuyasu stood there with his own notebook in his hand, with his boyfriend, in his brother's room that they were cleaning. He looked at Josuke, and then up at the buzzing light, and then at Keicho's CD collection on the shelf, newly dusted.

Finally he took a deep breath and said, “I'm not gonna hold onto it like that, dude.” And then he took Josuke's hand and said, “Let's come up to the roof for a bit.”

They left Keicho's room behind and went up to the attic, from where they climbed their way awkwardly up onto the Nijimuras' newly re-tiled roof. August was too early to feel chilly at night in Morioh, but there were winds, and the sky was wide open. Okuyasu thought it was a good place as any to give the poem a reading.

They settled on the warm tiles, and then Okuyasu had to stand up to go get a flashlight, and when he came back to the roof Josuke was still there – as if he would go away the moment Okuyasu blinked – the notebook balanced on his thigh.

“Ready,” Josuke said once Okuyasu had sit back down snug next to him, partly as a question and partly as a confirmation of his own status, and Okuyasu nodded.

“Alright.”

Okuyasu had never recited a poem before. His mom was a storyteller when she was alive, but there was a long stretch of time during which her conditions worsened slowly and the occasions lessened until both her and the stories were gone. His dad wasn't a wordy man, not outside of anger and grief. Keicho really would rather have silence than a human voice outside of his own, and again Okuyasu couldn't blame him for that. Or even question it, really, not when Keicho had his CDs and treasured them so. Outside of all that, Okuyasu had also never been good at school. He had other things to do, and the few literature classes he actually sat in for never saw him chosen by a teacher to read anything out loud from the textbook.

So, Okuyasu didn't really know what he was doing, no. But he was also a simple man, and right now it was doing it or not doing it. And Josuke had casted his vote – the only one that counted here and now.

“It's called 1999,” he said, and found his voice a bit raspy. He didn't figure out to clear his throat.

Cigarette butt on the ground

he chose one to pick up

and hold like a torch

Hand over head

Whispers like smoke

flow

1999

numbers he carried

one

in his left pocket

on the pad

along the line

into the waves

it's important, that's what he said

Cigarette butt in the air

His hand red

His eyes red

through them, the sky orange

twilight is for a while,

if statues are the same

1999

replays dissolve

into statics

into waves

away

one

on his lips

I didn't mean it like that,

or was it

I never told him,

or even

I don't think he knows,

that's what he said

Cigarette butt against the sky

futile

1999

variables

one

dissolved into the waves

my name is doubt,

and his I never got

1999

I met two ghosts in Morioh.

They were quiet a long time after that. When Josuke spoke up, he sounded like he just cried a bit. “Dude, that's so fucking sad.”

Okuyasu tried to keep himself from shining the flashlight on Josuke to see if he really had been crying. “For real? I don' even know what it's exactly about anymore. Jus' a buncha, uh, concepts put together randomly.”

“It got emotions into me, alright? So it's good to me, deal with it.”

“It makes you sad!”

“It's good sad though. Like listening to a late artist's album sad.” Josuke threw an arm around Okuyasu's shoulders. “That's how art is.”

“Sure,” Okuyasu harrumphed, but then smiled to himself, just a bit.

The two sat there on the roof well into the night. At one point they found their hands intertwined; Okuyasu let himself lean into the contact, flashlight and notebook laid aside, essentially forgotten. Late night breeze felt like sleep.

“The point of that poem is that I love you,” he said, and let it be.

The hand in his own tightened, and Josuke replied, with all the conviction his being could store, “I know, dude. Love you too.”

#jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba #diamond is unbreakable #diu #okuyasu nijimura #josuke higashikata #josuyasu #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #man its been a while since I write something with romance that ends well #for any of the parties involved #but goddammit I just love the boys too much #I just (clenches fist) wish them all the good in the world #also headcanons stuffed in this fic include:#okuyasu writes #he won't trust himself to make a living out of it but he likes it #he also is actually pretty good with making calculations #as in addition substraction and shit #because when keicho started looking for dio and then the arrows he left taking care of the house to oku #that does include a lot of simple math #okuyasu can take care of that quick no problem but he gets stuck at logic math #like stuff with more letters than numbers in it #so he still doesnt do too well at school #yes I love okuyasu a lot what gives it away #and guess what!! I still have a lot left to give so Im gonna doodle the boys real quick tonight #have a good goddamn night guys I actually wrote something

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