#man its been a while since I write something with romance that ends well

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫

part four of do you feel my hand? it is there. | part one | part two | part three | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader is now his past client. the guys have a party for the next few parts. drinking alcohol and getting drunk/tipsy is mentioned. humor/fluff placed throughout. also, smut is coming very soon. :))

word count: 3.8k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: decided to upload this today because i'm going to be having a busy weekend lol 😂 the last three parts of this are in the works, and i'm really excited to see how this little series of mine ends~ 🥸 i am honestly SO shocked by the response that i've gotten for this series... reading your guys' comments and feedback literally always makes my day and it makes me feel so happy to hear that my readers are enjoying the stuff i'm writing. so thanks so much for the support!! ❤️ also- STREAM 5 STAR CONCEPT TRAILER!!! 🌟

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The entire week leading up to the anniversary party, you agonized over what to wear. You didn’t think it’d be right to show up in something formal, but you didn’t want to reveal yourself to all of the guys after such a long time in your usual attire of baggy jeans and a simple t-shirt/hoodie. 

 It wasn’t until Friday evening, exactly two hours before you had to leave for the party, that you found the outfit. After rummaging inside your closet all week long, you happened to stumble upon a dress that had been shoved down at the bottom of a box of your old clothes. As you pulled the thing out, you were hit with a wave of memories - of when you’d wear the same dress while out clubbing with your friends during your university days. 

 The mini-dress was a light mint color and complimented your skin tone quite well. The scoop neckline hung low and exposed a good amount of cleavage, but not too much that it was deemed completely unsavory. There were long, sheer sleeves that covered your arms, and the thin fabric of the dress ruched just at your hips, defining your curves and adding depth to the otherwise short dress, with its hemline that stopped mid-thigh. 

 You felt that it was appropriate enough to wear to the party, since after all - it was a party, and there were sure to be drinks there. And drinks always called for a cute and flirty outfit. You matched the dress with some silver studs - things you hadn’t worn in a long time and only saved for very special occasions - and the only pair of heels that you owned, which were metallic in color and had a height of 3 inches. Small rhinestones lined the edges of the shoes, and they were one of your most expensive possessions, having been gifted them as a graduation gift by one of your fellow roommates in university who happened to be a good friend of yours. 

 Keeping the makeup on the lighter side of things, with your hair curled in soft ringlets around your face, you opted to grab the matching shawl that you always wore with the dress- the light mint color complimenting the ensemble perfectly. You took one final look at yourself in your bedroom’s floor-length mirror before leaving your place. 

 And to be honest, even you were shocked. 

 By how good you looked- 

 How hot. 

 If you were being entirely honest with yourself, it had somewhat been your plan. To reveal your inner sexiness subtly. But then all at once, the sensuality that you always tried to hide unexpectedly showed through in every aspect of your outfit. 

 You weren’t trying to seduce Dr. Lee. 

 No, surely not. 

 But… a little mini-dress never hurt anymore, right? 

During the commute that you took to Dr. Lee’s place via subway, you came to terms with the fact that things were going to be awkward at first. Especially since you had practically run away from him the week before. And you hadn’t seen the others who worked at the clinic in a long time, so it was only reasonable for you to assume that the talking would be stagnant at first. Surely, though, the alcohol running through everyone’s systems would promptly help to quell all of that.

 When you finally stepped off the train, you realized where you were- 

 Gangnam. 

 Perhaps one of the most expensive districts in Seoul. 

 And of course, he had to live here. 

 It was to be expected since he was a rich and successful businessman. 

 At least Gangnam wasn’t too far from your district… 

 As soon as that thought entered your mind, you had to do a double-take and retract it back to the very depths of your being. Because what was your heart trying to insinuate? That him living close to you was a good thing? That something would come out of your broken client-doctor relationship? 

 Yeah, fucking, right. 

With that depressing thought clouding your mind, you made your way through the many side alleyways of the area. It seemed like the further into the district you got, the grander the places were, with extravagant high rises lining either side of you.

 Finally, your phone’s GPS dinged in completion when you stood in front of a rather large apartment complex. The four separate buildings towered over you in well over twenty stories, forcing you to crane your neck upwards as you tried to take in their size. The grounds were well kept, flourishing with spring flowers and green grasses. 

 The nearby park was bustling with activity - little kids playing together and young moms conversing at the benches while sipping on coffees. It was nine on a Friday night, and at this point in the night, your district usually wasn’t very busy. However, Gangnam seemed to be on a whole other level. 

 And as you made your way through the complexes, soon finding Dr. Lee’s building, you understood just how out of your league he was. If the nice outfits at work weren’t enough and the literal fucking sports car didn’t cut it for you, then the sparkling, sprawling apartment complex with humungous units on each floor worked to suffice his position over you. 

 You took the sparkly-silver elevator up to the twenty-fifth floor, registering that the building reached up to forty. As you filed out of the doors, you noticed the cute decorations outside of Dr. Lee’s place. A small rug was placed just underneath the door, in the shape of a pink-colored cat that read ‘Hello, Peasants.’ That forced a small giggle out of you at the peek of humor in his personal life. There was also a small wreath hanging at the center of the door, with three miniature figurines of cats nestled into its green leaves. You supposed they were his since they looked similar to the pictures he had shown you in the past. 

 Taking a deep breath to calm your rising nerves, you reached over and rang the doorbell. As you stood there, you would hear the distinct sound of a loud bass playing over speakers. So, the party must’ve already started, then. 

 It took a moment, but finally, someone answered the door. 

 You were greeted by a smiling Jeongin, his grin stretching from ear to ear as he registered your presence. “Holy fuck- Y/N, hi!” He exclaimed, leaning over the threshold of the door and enveloping you in a warm hug. “I thought for sure that Minho had lied about you coming tonight!” 

 That detail caused a flush to bloom across your cheeks, “Yeah, well- it sounded like fun, so I thought I’d join in the celebrations… how are you?” You asked, taking in his appearance. He looked a little more mature than the last time you had seen time over a year before, with his jawline slightly more chiseled and a distinct kind of glimmer in his eyes. His hair was dyed a snow-white color, painting his deep olive skin tone in a milky glow. 

 “Doing good,” Jeongin began, as he stepped aside to let you into the apartment. Immediately upon entering, the distinct smell of him took over your entire being. It seemed to flood all of you, drowning you in thoughts of only Dr. Lee and nothing else. “Been so busy at the clinic lately, business has picked up in the last few months.” 

 You gave him a soft smile, “I bet… you guys work your assess off over there, you deserve every client.” 

 He frowned at you then, watching in silence as you yanked your shawl a little tighter around your shoulders and slipped off your heels. You weren't entirely comfortable showing off so much skin so early into the evening. “We all miss you at the clinic… the days aren’t the same without seeing you walk in through the front doors holding your adorable kitties-” 

 “Hey, Innie, don’t bore her with shit about the clinic,” an exasperated voice called out to your left. You turned and caught a glimpse of Seungmin, as he leaned against a nearby wall. He was clutching onto a brown and white cat - which you assumed was Dr. Lee's cat, Dori - in one of his arms. He was dressed in an oversized matching set of joggers and a hoodie. Comfy clothes. Perhaps you had overdressed for the occasion. But then when you studied Jeongin, you noticed the particular detail that he had put into his outfit… from the necklace of pearls hanging around his neck to the simple baby blue t-shirt he had tucked into light-washed jeans. 

 “I was just telling her how much things have changed since she stopped coming around…” Jeongin’s voice trailed off, as they both stared at you then. The fucking elephant in the room was that you left because of Nyx’s passing. 

 They both knew it. 

 You knew it. 

Everyone knew it. 

 Seungmin waved off his words, slinking an arm around the younger’s shoulders and motioning with a tilt of his head to the hallway behind him. Meanwhile, Dori was a squirming mess in his hold, as he tried to escape his hands. “Anyways, the party’s already started. Some of the guys haven’t arrived yet, but we’re all hanging out in the living room, so c’mon…” 

 You said nothing more to that, choosing to follow behind the two men as they led the way through the apartment. And it was so grand and beautiful. Multiple doors lined either side of the hallway’s walls, but they were all closed. You wondered what lay behind them. Then, there was the spacious kitchen off to the left, which had a magnificent marble island counter at the center of it. 

 And finally, you stopped in the living room. The biggest tv you had ever seen was mounted on the farthest wall, quickly flashing with bright lights as some of the guys played Mario Party. There was an L-shaped couch that was pushed against the wall closest to you, with room to fit at least six grown adults. And two armchairs were positioned on either side of the grand coffee table that was in the middle of the room. In the corner of the room, you caught sight of a cat tree, where an orange-and-white tabby - Soonie - was busy dozy off amongst the chaos. Dr. Lee's third cat, Doongie, was nowhere to be found apparently.  

 Throughout the area, small hints of Dr. Lee’s personality were hidden - from the many sprawling-green potted plants that lined the large bay windowsill, to the tiny cat figurines sitting just underneath the tv, to the large portrait of him and his three cats that hung above the couch. It looked to be in a unique style, with distinct brushstrokes and a cool colour palette. Immediately, you recognized it as Hyunjin’s work. After all, he had told you on multiple occasions that besides working with animals, he had a true passion for art. He had shown you some of his pieces in passing, and you were always blown away by the technical details of it all. 

 Your eyes slid past the two hunched-over figures - Yongbok and Jisung - who were enraptured by the game on the tv screen and landed on the men lounging on the couch. Chan was swishing an ice-cold glass of soju in one hand, as he chattered away with a listening Dr. Lee. None of them had noticed your presence yet. 

 “You guys- Y/N’s here!” Jeongin announced loudly over the rap music that was blasting throughout the room and somewhat masking the guy's voices. 

 All at once, they turned in unison to get a glimpse of you, Dr. Lee’s head snapping so quickly you were afraid his neck would break by the sheer force of the movement. He was dressed in black, oversized cargo pants, his midnight-toned locks a little mussed at the ends. But perhaps the worst part about the outfit was what he was wearing on top. It was a tight, black, muscle t-shirt that clung to every ripple of his sinewy flesh. The silver zipper that lay at the front of the garment was pulled down slightly, flashing bits and pieces of milky-smooth skin. (a/n: I'M SORRY- BUT YOU KNOW THAT I HAD TO DO IT!! I'M STILL NOT OVER ZIPPER MIN!!). And the choker… fuck, the black-chained choker that he wore around his thick fucking neck… he was surely going to be the death of you. 

 “Y/N- hey, you made it!” Jisung called out, while Yongbok waved excitedly before the two of them delved back into their game. 

 Chan stood up from his place on the sofa, passing you with a light squeeze of the shoulder, “Nice to see you,” he said in that deep, rumbly voice of his. You flashed him a smile, already feeling comforted by the way that they were acting like no time had passed between the lot of you. Like this was something normal… to be invited into Dr. Lee’s house for a private gathering of friends. 

 Seungmin and Jeongin hastily picked up two extra controllers and were soon sitting beside Jisung and Yongbok, joining in on the fun of the video game. That left just… you and Dr. Lee, since evidently, Hyunjin and Changbin hadn’t arrived yet. 

 He continued to watch you in silence for a few more beats from his seat on the couch. You could practically feel his eyes roving down the length of you, witnessing you in all of your party-goer glory. But then his focus caught on the shawl hanging around your shoulders, and you offered him a tiny, meek smile. 

 “Don’t be shy and come sit down.” He finally said in a voice that was so low, it was hard to hear over the vibrating music around you. He gently patted the space just beside him on the couch, his lips spreading into a warm grin.

 You swallowed around the solid lump that was forming in your throat. Sitting next to him. In such a revealing dress. With him in such a drool-inducing outfit. 

 Surely, the night wasn’t going to end well - surely, it was going to result in irrevocable heartbreak and pain. 

 But perhaps, you could bear such a thing if it meant getting to see him so up close and personal. 

“Thanks for the invite,” you began once you were seated an appropriate distance next to him - at least a pillow’s length. “Seriously, this place is insane.” 

 He laughed awkwardly, running a few fingers through his hair, “It’s no problem… thought you might enjoy a change of scenery. Your district can be quite- bleak at times.” 

 “No shit- you’re telling me.” 

 “Is it that bad?” 

 He was staring at you again, his body turned to the side, back leaning into one of the corners of the sofa so that he could get a full look at you. You could tell all of this from your peripheral vision. 

 But you couldn’t look at him… 

 His outfit, 

 His closeness, 

 The intimacy of the entire night, 

 It was swoon-worthy and vomit-inducing all at once. 

 So instead, you decided to curl up with a fluffy throw pillow, keeping your focus straight ahead, on the tv screen, as Jisung’s character fell off of a platform which resulted in his team losing. 

 “Most of the time the shops in the area close around nine, so there’s nothing to do after dark. It sucks if you ever want to have a life outside of work because as soon as you’re off, everyone is closing up for the day. I have no idea why you decided to start a clinic in my district, to be honest… like, Gangnam is a much better option.” 

 “True…” His voice trailed off. And you felt him shift so that now his focus was on the tv. This gave you enough time to peek a glance at him again. He looked ethereal under the soft glow of the living room lights - the teasing skin of his chest glistening in a warm hue, his cheekbones washed in a distant kind of shadow, his perfect, red lips pursed slightly and- “But then, I’d never have met you if I set up shop here in Gangnam.” 

 You didn’t have any time to react, as he whipped his head back towards you, catching your perusal of his otherworldly beauty. Because truly, how can any man be so hot and yet beautiful at the same time? His face looked like it was chiseled by the Gods themselves, the picture-perfect example of a Hellenistic sculpture from Greece… all soft lines, flowing movement, and a focus that was wholly on his soft and genuine personality. 

 A sparkle filled his chocolate-brown irises then, as they lit up with the fact that you had blatantly been checking him out. Surely, he didn’t know about your feelings. Surely, he didn’t… 

 You spluttered in embarrassment at his words, as they finally registered in your mind. “I hardly doubt that I’ve made any difference in your career, Dr. Lee-”

 “I wish you’d stop calling me that.” 

 And just like that, he pulled the breath right out of your lungs again. 

 Like it was just a flimsy green leaf, that he had happened to pluck out of the sky and catch hold of. 

 Dragging the air up your throat and out between your lips. 

“W-What?” You managed to say in a strangled kind of way, the words tickling the tip of your tongue. They burrowed down into the pit of your heart, lighting something dim and unchecked inside of you. 

 “Addressing me so formally. That title, Dr. Lee… only my clients use it.” 

 “B-But I am your-”

 He leveled you with a swarthy regard then, dark brows pulling together, mouth pressing into a firm line of displeasure. “No, you’re not- not anymore. So I honestly don’t see the point in keeping up with all of the formalities.” 

 The anxiety balled up into an unruly knot at the speed of light. And soon, you found it jumbling around in your stomach. Was he mad? By his tone, which held a slight edge to it, he seemed upset… 

 But why? You thought he’d appreciate the honorifics, and welcome them, even, since the two of you were from such opposites sides of life. 

 “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that it was such an issue for you.” You said, but as soon as the words left your lips, you realized the bitterness that hung between them. The slight anger was laced there, from the fact that he was trying to break the one rule that you had set for yourself long ago. 

 Because okay- yes, he was really fucking hot. And fucking nice all of the time. But that didn’t give you the right to jump his bones just because you were attracted to him. And besides, he’d never stoop so low for a woman like you.

He threw his hands up in the air then, sighing in defeat. “I mean, I really don’t know what I have to do- I invite you over to my place, I fucking call-”

 Just then, he was interrupted by a loud shout flooding in from down the hallway. And suddenly, Changbin appeared in the living room, a goofy smile plastered on his face, as he held up a huge case of beer and a jumbo-sized bag of potato chips. “What’s up, dweebs?” He hollered, throwing his head back and cackling maniacally. 

 “What did I tell you about using such a word?” Yongbok groaned out in despair, throwing his controller down onto the ground and stomping over to the older man. “It’s like- so nineteen-nineties.” He plucked the bag of chips out of his hand before scurrying back to the others. 

 Hyunjin filed into the living room, interrupting the scene with his show-stopping looks, even though he was dressed like a literal hobo, in ripped sweatpants and a stretched-out hoodie. “Give it up, Bokkie- his uneducated ass could never grasp such a concept.” He rolled his eyes at the dark-haired muscly man who was silently fuming with rage in the corner. 

 “Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m a fucking vet assistant-”

 “Yeah only because you failed your placement test to get into tech school.” Seungmin threw back, earning a few shrill cackles from the younger men sitting around him. 

 “I swear to all things holy if you don’t stop bringing up-” Changbin began, storming over to the brown-haired boy in apparent rage when suddenly he was intervened by a shouting Chan. 

 “Food just arrived- come eat you little shits, before I take it all for myself!” He called from the nearby kitchen. 

 And just like that, the playfully-tense atmosphere in the living room dissipated, as Changbin was immediately soothed by the prospect of food. 

 “I call first dibs on the Hawaiian pizza!” Jisung exclaimed, shooting up from his spot on the floor and rushing for the kitchen. 

 “No one’s going to fight you on that one, Ji, you literally have the worst taste in cuisine,” Jeongin said under his breath, shaking his head in distaste as he followed right behind him. 

 As all of the guys left the living room, you were thrown into the uneasy silence between you and… and Minho. Your heart was beating wildly against your chest, as you tried to process what had just gone wrong between you. 

 Maybe coming to the party was a mistake after all. 

 Maybe, you should’ve just stayed holed up in your small, dingy apartment, like you usually did every Friday night. 

But then Minho was sighing heavily, and from his proximity, you could practically feel his hot breath hit your neck. It seemed like he had grown closer to you in the last few minutes. “Fuck- just forget I said anything.” 

 And before you could say - or do - anything else, he was shuffling out of the living room, in search of some piping hot food. 

 Getting some alcohol into your system would surely help the pain that suddenly coursed through your veins.

 Surely, drowning your mind in liquor would help to quell the rising hurt that was beginning to squeeze at your heart. 

 Because just like that, without you even having to confess your feelings to him, he was dismissing you. 

 He was ignoring your feelings. 

 Just from the way that he told you to ‘forget about it.’ 

 When no- 

 You couldn’t just erase it from your mind. 

 You couldn’t simply snap a finger and ‘forget about it.’ 

 Forget the history the two of you had together? 

 The attraction that was seemingly only one-sided?

 The realization that he had only called you over to his party to fill the space of a friend? 

 Nah- fuck that shit. 

 So you weren’t going to forget any of it, just to spite him. 

 And you decided that for the rest of the night, you’d think about nothing but him. 

 Be consumed by nothing but him. 

 Again and again, you’d allow your mind to wander to the fantasies you had of him. 

 Because then, maybe you’d be able to get back at him - for all of the hurt that he was putting you through without even realizing it, for so very long.

To be continued...

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[spaceyflowerswriting]

make some headcanons with the boys leaning down to give their fem s/o a kiss on the cheek <3 and she holds his face and gives him a big smooch on the lips lmao thought it was cute.

Danny,Eli,Zack,Jake and Vasco pls you can take zack out if is too much. Thx!

lookism boys leaning down to give reader a kiss

details: fluffy headcanons, gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, reader has been dating character for a while

a/n: sure, anon!! its a very cute scenario <3 and i only write for genderneutral, please check request rules T_T

the headcanons kind of came out as mini scenarios themselves;; hope that still works for you !

×

daniel

> ever since you two started your date, he's been wanting to lean down and kiss your cheek as a dating milestone for him but his nervousness kept stopping him

> believe me, he's attempted like 5 times but whenever you turned his way he'd straighten back up and exclaim something like, "n-nice weather out today, huh?"

> eventually he gets the courage to towards the end of the date out of a last minute pressure

> it's a quick, shy peck and he backs away pretty fast. his initial reaction is to scream internally and then feel proud of himself before immediately apologizing to you if the kiss was bad

> you just smile and cup his cheeks, gently leading him back down to give him a loving kiss on the lips as reassurance <3 he melts into the kiss and becomes like a lovesick puppy!

> when you two part and he heads home, he's rolling around in his blanket thinking about how much he likes you and how he can't believe you like him, too <3

eli

> being one of the few (the only? lmao) men with actual romantic experience, kisses come much more naturally and casually to him

> simple kisses are an easy way for him to be physically affectionate, alongside holding your hand

> so, it's not uncommon for him to greet you with a kiss! especially if you two have been apart for a while. he'll stroll over to you and lean down to kiss your cheek.

> "i missed you."

> of course, you missed him, too, but today the feeling was just stronger than usual. before he straightens back up, you hold his face in place before giving him a smooch on the lips <3

> he's pleasantly surprised, but kisses you back, smiling into the kiss. when he pulls away, he cups your face back and adds an extra kiss on your forehead while chuckling~

zack

> the kiss came as a surprise to both of you honestly

> at a carnival date, you end up scoring a high score with one of the games and he leans down to smooch your cheek before pulling away to exclaim in joy

> it's only after his adrenaline sizzles away does he realize what he did. he tries to play it cool though, like it was totally planned

> it's easy for you see through the act though and you decide to grab a hold of his face and kiss him on the lips in a sort of teasing way <3

> despite his shock, he doesn't waste a second before kissing you right back. when you pull away, he's grinning like a lovesick fool

> "if i win you a prize at a different game, will you kiss me again?"

jake

> he's very playful so he's almost always leaning down, pretending he's about to do something important when all he does is give your cheek a quick kiss (and occasionally he runs off after lol)

> now was one of those times: except this time his tactic was saying, "hey, you're missing something here," while tapping on your cheek.

> as soon as you reply, "and what is that exactly?" he leans down to kiss where he tapped and replies, "my kiss," with a smirk.

> deciding to be playful back, you quip, "well, you're missing something on your lips, too," and hold his face to smooch him on the lips <3

> he holds back a laugh so you can have your moment while kissing you back with the same enthusiasm

> after pulling away from each other, he laughs and pulls you in a bit. "we could do this all day, you know~"

vasco

> if there's anything this man knows about romance, it's that kisses = good and he's full of love so he'll express that 100% ^_^

> always asks for your consent first !! like he excitedly runs over to you, already bending down a bit to be at the same level as you before asking, "can i kiss your cheek?"

> you nod and he smiles before leaning forward to smooch your cheek!

> much to his surprise though, you decide to keep him in place for a moment by cupping his cheeks and moving to kiss his lips <3

> when you pull away, he's so giddy he straight up picks you up into a hug and spins you around. when he sets you back down, he asks, "oh, yeah! can i kiss you back?"

> you say yes, of course, and he's kissing you back while cupping your cheeks~ may be squishing them though lol

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

A Graves x Reader x Ghost Love Triangle

As Shadow Company’s second in command, you’ve seen firsthand the kind of man Graves could be, including the kind of man he wanted to be for you. It was a game you two unknowingly played, one that would surely not end well. A quick distraction meant to tame your busy souls. Warm bodies to lie with. Anything other than that was pure fantasy, though you two couldn’t help dreaming...

Future NSFW 18+, Future Angst, Pre-MW2 Events, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, First Kiss, Romance, Drama, Build-up, Implied FWB, Make-Out Session, Shadow Company!Reader

WC ~ 2k

AO3 Link | Masterlist

A/N (2024): Made a few minor grammatical fixes and touched up some of the sentences that weren't making sense. Hopefully, this reads a lot stronger now! ^.~

A/N: I have never posted on Tumblr like this before; I’m a grade A lurker. But I’m obsessed with this for whatever reason, so now you’re being subjected to my writing. This is chapter one to a longer story that’ll be posted on AO3. Sorry if the characters feel OOC, I’m trying my best with what we got. Please enjoy! (T^T)>

Phillip Graves was as much of an enigma as the rest of the men in Shadow Company.

He could be many things when asked: Confident and self-assured, charismatic and dependable, disciplined and cutthroat, remorseless … as cold and calculated as a well-trained attack dog, or as warm and inviting as a long-time friend. All these personas existed within the commander, ready to be switched on in a single order. A chameleon, true to his craft. He’s grown accustomed to making himself whoever the world needed him to be. Anything that gets the job done.  

There was never any mistaking where Graves' thoughts lie, as more than often he'd just admit to them out loud. He accepts that others believe him to be an open book -- easy to read, with little complexity or depth beyond being a good soldier. Being lighthearted and obedient to the right people has worked wonders for him in the past, so he's mastered this façade and uses it well to his advantage. Proudly too.

But for a man so unafraid to be himself, Graves could be surprisingly secretive. 

As his second in command, you've seen firsthand the many personas your commander wore, including ones he's worn for you. Most of his tricks and plays you recognized by now, even as you've yet to understand them. Though as of late you’ve watched these many faces of his waver into something unfamiliar. They chip away slowly, each time you surrender yourself to his needs, taking your place beside him in the black of night, when no one's around to see. There, he's created a new façade, for your eyes only.

One that only made things complicated.

When you first began spending your nights together, it was more of a means to an end. It had been months since either of you had the pleasure of someone else's full attention, and lately, you were starting to notice. Shadow Company had grown more acclaimed and busy this past year, making dating pretty impossible. And after a while, anyone starts to look like a good lay if they're not ugly. Unfortunately, it didn't leave you with many options, until you'd caught the starved eye of your very own commander. 

You’d hardly been a part of Shadow Company for a month before you’d picked up on Graves' interest in you. He was surprisingly subtle with his flirting, if not predictable. It was the way his eyes lingered on you in quiet moments, his expression turned soft as his lips curved into a charming smile whenever you'd catch him. He could always spot you in a crowded room, always noticing when you were away for too long. He laughed just a little too hard at your jokes and always looked your way first after sharing one himself.

Before long, you found yourself beginning to watch him back. 

It was the little details you noticed first. The small cuts on his face from past firefights, how glossy and full of life his blue eyes looked in direct sunlight. Its rays would make a halo over his dirty blond hair, each strand looking clean enough to run your fingers through. He once caught you looking at him lick his lips, something he did often. When your eyes lifted from his mouth to see your superior officer looking dead at you, it shot a bolt of lightning through you. But you didn't look away, perhaps wanting him to see you looking. Taunting him.

Graves didn't say anything at first when he saw you ogling, but you knew he'd made a mental note of it just from the way he smirked afterward. "See something you like?"

"I see you, Commander," you'd said, hoping your glib nature would cover up the embarrassment you felt from getting caught. But Graves was like a shark in the water, and you'd just given him a taste of your blood.

"I see you too, Songbird." 

It seems all he needed was that clue that you were interested in him, because it wasn't soon after this when he decided to make his move.

You and the Commander had just finished prepping your mission brief for the other Shadow Company members. By now it was getting late in the night, as the building you two were in was a small facility only authorized personnel could enter. You occupied one of the empty rooms converted into an office space for all the pencil pushers to work out of. They’d all clocked out for the day though, leaving you two alone; and the tension in the air between you had just reached a boiling point.

You stood up from one of the tables in the room, preparing to slip into your coat and call it a night, until you watched the Commander approach you suddenly. You assumed he was getting ready to leave as well, until you noticed his come-hither nature.

“So, you got any plans tonight?”

And just like that, the game was on. You knew right away where this would go and it had your heart already skipping a beat. But you didn't want to jump to conclusions, nor did you want to rush this either. The thrill of the pursuit provided you with a nice little rush.

Wicked as you were, you began to smile.

“Why?” you ask. “Did you have something in mind?”

“I can think of a few things,” he said, behaving purposefully coy, in hopes of getting a rile out of you. He always did enjoy your banter and had no problem doing a little teasing himself when presented with the opportunity.

“Is that right?” you say flirtatiously. “Will I like those “things”, Commander?”

Graves smirks, raising an eyebrow at your comment. Hearing his title roll from your tongue so provocatively brought a sudden twinkle to his eyes. At this point, he didn’t need to guess where your mind was, which only made him more bold.

He chuckles under his breath, taking a few small steps closer, until he’s only an arm's length away. His next play.

He wasn't the tallest man you met but he still managed to tower over you by a few inches, the light from the room casting a shadow over him. This close you could smell the aftershave and cologne he’d used this morning, watching the way his eyes took in every detail of you, pupils dilating, black over-compassing the deep blue of his irises. He leans against the wall and unconsciously licks his lips again.

It was like a switch flipped in him.

“You will.”

You scoff, laughing under your breath at his boldness. You were wondering when he would be. Still, you wanted to poke at him a little more, see how long you could keep him waiting, if not to see if he was being for real. “Cocky as always.”

“Would you like me some other way then?”

You play on his words from earlier. “I can think of a few ways.”

“And what might those ways be, Songbird?”

"You're a smart boy," you hum. "I think you can figure them out. My lips are sealed, otherwise."

Graves steps even closer. He lifts a hand and pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is gentle and surprisingly warm, gliding against you like feathers, his fingers trailing across your jawline and resting beneath your chin. Goosebumps formed where he touched, and you could tell from the doe-eyed look he had that it was doing something to him too, seeing you like this. He takes his hand beneath your chin and lifts your head, forcing you to lock eyes.

"And if I order you to say them?"

His voice was now much lower than before. Sultry. You could feel it in the air he was ready to come in closer, simply waiting for an opportunity to do so that felt right.

Butterflies shot through you like a thick swarm; you didn’t want to let on that his words had you like putty in his hands, though you feared your little lip quiver may have given it away. You instead look down at his lips again, your gaze sullied. You began thinking of all the ways you could close this space between you two and put an end to the tension. The thrill of it all had your adrenaline spiking in all the right ways, simply waiting to see where things go from this point. "Then I won’t listen," you purr.

"Insubordination is rather punishable," he said.

"So is fraternization."

"I can keep a secret." Graves brought his thumb to your lip, lightly running it across, as his eyes lowered to your mouth. He nearly says in a whisper, "Tell me what you’re thinking."

"Let me show you."

His lips slowly come down to yours, kissing you gently. When you pressed your lips back against his, he exhaled pleasurably, tongue grazing your bottom lip. He moves his hand from your chin and curls it to the back of your neck, holding you in place and continuing to tease you with short, velvety pecks. His lips danced against yours with the skill of a seasoned player, clearly experienced in his craft, but it wasn’t until he felt your hands glide against his hips and tug him closer that his kisses grew insatiable. 

His grip on the back of your neck tightened, lips pressing harder against yours, feverishly. When the sudden aggression brings a low moan from you, it only makes him push harder, his other hand grabbing the small of your back and roughly pressing himself against you.

His weight causes you to shift backward until he has your back pressed against a wall. Unknowingly, your arm bumps against a nearby filing cabinet on the way there, knocking over a few papers that now littered the floor. Mere background noise to Graves, who only continues, his arms planted on other sides of the wall around you, as his lips trailed down your neck. His kisses reach your collarbone, the sensitive sensation causing you to gasp out a moan. “Graves!”

Hearing his name be moaned out sends him on a personal mission to hear you say it more. He takes his hands and slowly runs them down your body, feeling every bit of you he can through your uniform, before resting them on your thighs. In one swift motion, he then lifts you, taking your legs and straddling them around his waist, as he keeps your back against the wall. He presses himself to you and breathes heavily, rejoining his mouth with yours.

By now you could feel him through his pants, and you pushed yourself against him in response, the grinding motion bringing quiet moans from both of you. That’s when you two suddenly hear footsteps.

At the drop of a hat, you two freeze, going completely silent. The footsteps come from outside the room -- someone walking by in the hallway. A janitor maybe? God forbid it was anyone in the company. You held your breaths for only about a minute, listening to the steps pass by the room until you couldn’t hear them any longer.

The two of you let out a shared sigh, before looking back at one another. Graves had you still pinned to the wall, your legs tucked in his arms. He can’t help but chuckle. 

“This probably ain’t the best place for this, darlin'," he spoke. "As much as I want to keep going."

“I don’t know,” you joke. “I like the vibe. It’s very risqué.”

Graves smiles at you. And then, he pauses for a moment. Suddenly his eyes can’t seem to pick a spot he wants to look at on your face. You see something in him change, gears turning in his mind. Thinking of what he might say to you now. Hiding away his vulnerabilities. It makes your own mind begin to ponder.

“See something you like?” you ask him.

“I see you.”

Graves leaned in and kissed you another time, softly. Like you’d been lovers your whole lives. That’s when you realized how truly dangerous your commander could be; for a minute there, you started daydreaming about what tomorrow could bring you both. You wanted to fall for his pretty words. But then you remembered where you were, and who you were with.

This was a game. A mutual distraction. As things stand, thinking that this could be anything else beyond a good lay was purely a fantasy. You almost just lost yourself in it.

And so it goes.

"Your place or mine?”

...Chapter Two Here!

[penkura]

last forever [7/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Note: I apologize for glossing over and skipping fights and so much of this arc. Writing violence is not my forte, and I'd rather focus on the main relationship. We all know how One Piece goes anyway. I had to go back and refresh myself on some of the details, it's been a while since I read/watched Water Seven and Enies Lobby.

But also, I was SO NERVOUS writing a certain part of this, its NOT my usual style omg. But I needed to write what I did when it popped into my head. Just wait until a bit later, though omg. This stays SFW, I swear.

Taglist:

@misfits1a

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6]

When you finally make it to Water Seven, after your run in with the Foxy Pirates and Admiral Aokiji, it’s nice to be somewhere you recognize. Having only been here a few times when your dad had business and he chose to bring you and Elias, it was always your favorite trip to take when your mother would let you tag along.

The only person who knows this at first, apart from Zoro, is Sanji, when you choose to go into the city with him as Zoro watches the ship; Luffy, Nami, and Usopp go to exchange the gold for actually money, and Chopper goes with Robin to find a bookstore. Sanji laughs a bit when you tell him you’ve been here a few times, give or take.

“You may have been a bit sheltered, but you were well traveled!”

Laughing in return, you tighten your arms around Sanji, laying your head on his back as your Yagara ride continues down the water street, watching all the people. It’s been so long, you forgot how lively this city was.

“Mom would always try to make me stay home with her, but I’d cry and throw a tantrum until she let me go, normally because my brother asked for me to. I was a little spoiled back then by Elias.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Sanji looks over his shoulder to give you a smile, “You were the baby, that’s expected.”

“Tch, yeah,” scoffing, you don’t look up at him, “The baby no one but my brother really wanted.”

He doesn’t say anything, instead just patting one of your hands, which makes you fist his shirt in your grip for a moment before relaxing again. Sanji knows more about your life growing up than most of your crew, only Zoro really having the nearly full story. Even then, you’ve kept somethings to yourself, not because they were painful memories, but because they were some of the few good times you remember, they were more precious to you than any other memories.

The two of you quickly find the shopping district and purchase copious amount of local foods, Sanji reeling off different ideas for dishes as he catches sight of Robin, grabbing your hand to drag you along and around a corner he swears to you he saw her go down, but she’s nowhere to be seen and neither is Chopper.

Your doctor does find you both a few moments later, apologizing on your way back to Merry for losing Robin, but you tell him not to worry, she can take care of herself, she’ll come back later.

When you get back to Merry, the update Zoro gives you feels like a knife in all your hearts. 

“What do you mean Merry is unfixable?!”

“Just what I said,” Zoro doesn’t fully look at Sanji, instead making sure you’re all right with the news, though the frown and starting of tears tell him you aren’t, “A shipwright came to check and said so.”

You hate the idea of having to give up Merry, whether that’s what Luffy’s decided yet or not, you aren’t sure, even as Nami returns and the situation gets worse with Usopp having been beaten by the Franky family and the two hundred million beri being stolen from him. The money didn’t matter, what mattered was Usopp, the rest of your crew going to find him and Luffy but Nami clinging onto you to stay with her, which you do to keep your friend safe.

The rest of the day is a blur, after Usopp is brought back, his fight with Luffy over Merry, and how quickly the rest of you leave to a hotel in the city. Some would probably think it’s strange that you’re holding so tightly to Zoro the whole time, rarely letting go of his arm, but you feel like you need some stability with how things have changed so much in just a day. You all still don’t know where Robin’s gone, you plan to go with Sanji and Chopper later the next day to try and find her.

For now, Zoro doesn’t mind you holding onto and staying by him. He tries to understand, it’s likely you’re thinking back to your parents, having told him of how they’d argue regarding you mostly, Elias being your safe haven who would remove you from the situation for safety.

Part of you doesn’t want to sleep that night, but Zoro makes you, forcing you to lay down. Really you’re worried you’re going to wake up and everything’s been a dream, none of your friends will be there, but Zoro, who you fully are coming to believe can read your mind, pokes you in the forehead before sitting by your bed with his back to you.

“Just sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.”

Every part of you believes him, you’ve got nothing but trust in Zoro.

+!+

With everything that’s happened involving Robin, your crew, Galley-La, and the Franky family, you’re surprised you’re even still on your feet as you follow everyone into Enies Lobby. You’d barely slept the night before and have been awake since early the previous morning, ending up following Sanji to the sea train that was taking Robin from you all. You fight alongside him, Franky, and Usopp, er, Sniper King, to try and reach Robin, only to lose her again in exchange for your own lives.

After the Rocketman train catches up to you and the four of you board it, Nami throws a towel over you since you’re sopping wet from the rain, and you start to draw yourself back from everyone for a few moments. You just need a bit to catch your breath, to keep yourself from crying due to how tired and upset you are. It’s going to be another sleepless night as you listen to everyone try and plan how you’re all going to attack the government island, you want to rescue Robin as soon as possible, even for the selfish reason of being able to sleep properly. Zoro tries to keep you out of the plan discussion, making you sit down and rest as much as you can, giving you water and sending you the slightest of glares if you try to get up too soon.

“Stay there, wife,” he’s quiet while he tells you to stay where you are, trying to keep his slip up of calling you his wife from those who don’t and shouldn’t know, “Rest until we get there. We’ll get Robin back.”

A slight smirk hits your face as you look up at him. “Trust her now?”

Zoro shrugs a bit, leaning on the wall beside you. “I guess. I trust you and Luffy more. But if you don’t rest, it doesn’t matter who I trust.”

Ah, that makes sense, why he’s trying so hard to make you take a break, other than you’re being up for so long now.

You’ll be useless in the fighting if you aren’t as prepared as you can be, if you haven’t had any kind of rest and keep worrying over Robin and everyone else. Even when you get there, convince Robin to let you all rescue her, most of your body wants to give up and stop, but you keep going, keep running to save her with everyone else.

You don’t really mean to get separated from everyone when you go to find the CP9 members who have keys that could open Robin’s sea prism stone cuffs, but it happens and you’re left defending yourself.

A few Marines get a little too close for comfort, but you cut them down fairly quickly, before going the other way from where you came and laughing to yourself at the same time.

I’m starting to take after my husband after all.

+!+

You’ve all returned to Water Seven after rescuing Robin from the government, you’ve maybe given her numerous hugs since even though its only been a couple of hours, and your unfortunate burial of Merry that’d left most of you in tears but all of you heartbroken. So much had happened that you had to step away from everyone for a bit, while there were discussions of what to do next although Luffy had once again fallen asleep from overuse of his powers.

Truthfully you wish you could go to sleep, you’ve been awake for well over twenty-four hours at this point, it would be nice to curl up in a bed and sleep the next several days. Its times like this that make you really wonder if you’re meant to be a pirate, maybe you should just go home and do what your parents want.

“Hey, you okay?”

Then Zoro finds you like always, quietly speaking to keep the others from eavesdropping, though Nami tries, a hand on your shoulder, this time he seems to grip a little tighter than before. You know him well enough at this point, there’s just the slightest hint of worry on his face as he looks at you, brows furrowed just a bit. Zoro knows you just as well, you step away like this when things start to get to be too much, you just need a few moments to clear your head and breathe, and since you’ve had that, you give him a real smile.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you really?”

You nod, Zoro doing the same in return as he knows to believe you, before surprising you by gently taking you face in his hands, as if he’s making absolutely sure that you’re telling the truth.

Having lost track of you while he’d gone on to fight the CP9 members to get Robin’s key, his mind kept wandering to where you’d gotten off to, if you were safe, if you were fighting someone or multiple marines, he really hoped you weren’t against a CP9 member. You had to stay safe, no matter what, you and Robin were his biggest concerns at the time. When you randomly ran into him, Sanji, and Usopp, he was surprised by the relief he felt to see you were a little banged up but otherwise perfectly fine. He’d made you let him carry you on his back the rest of the way, until you got to the ship and were able to safely be on the ground again. He’d barely let you out of his sight since then.

Zoro doesn’t make whatever worry he had about you obvious, only looking like he’s fighting to find something to say while he holds your face and you continue to smile, tilting your head.

“Zoro?”

“Glad you’re okay.”

Giggling a bit, you nod before wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, your exhaustion and the fears and worries you’ve had the last few hours finally coming to surface while you hug Zoro, making him do the same lightly, to keep you from embarrassing yourself in front of the others while you cry quietly, though you know they wouldn’t care or judge you.

You’re glad Robin is back, everyone is safe and alive, you all may have lost Merry but you’re coming to terms with it.

But most importantly to you, Zoro is safe, and to him, you’re safety is just as important, even if he barely voices it. The last thing he wants is for you to be harmed, in anyway by anyone.

He'll be especially damned if it’s by his hand so he comforts you the best he can, until you’re calmed down enough to rejoin your crew, staying beside him.

He doesn’t make you release his hand as you grip onto it, instead squeezing it back whenever you do so. When you lean into his arm later on, he lays his head against your own, telling you to go ahead and sleep, he’ll get you to a bed. You make him promise to stay with you that night, and he does once everyone goes to turn in, not leaving your side for even a second.

He’ll make sure you stay safe.

+!+

Zoro isn't sure how you two ended up away from the rest of the party. Too much alcohol, yes, but his tolerance is higher than a normal person's. He knows better than to wander off like this, but you took him by the wrist and walked away with a new bottle of sake in your hand, convincing him that it would be good to get away from the noise and everyone else.

You don't normally drink as much as he's seen you do today, he wonders if it's the alcohol that's causing you to giggle incessantly and steal glances at him every bit. Not like you had to steal glances, if you two had been talking you'd be looking at him.

But you'd barely said a word apart from when he asked why you were dragging him away from everyone else.

“Just want some quiet time, husband.”

Zoro never stops you from calling him husband, he's not sure why. Your marriage wasn't real, he should stop you from calling him that.

He should, but he never does.

He doesn't now, even as you lean against him and say “my husband” over and over again. It's only the moment you crawl yourself into his lap that he feels the need to stop you, despite knowing you're drunk or at the very least tipsy enough to not know what you're doing.

“Get off.”

He still doesn't push you off, he's not that heartless.

“Nooooo…” You whine and start to nuzzle your face in his neck, sighing happily after a moment. “My husband~”

“Ain't actually your husband, you know that.”

“But you're my husband still.”

“Stop it before someone sees.”

You pout, but lift your head up to look at him. Zoro can tell more so now that you're definitely drunk, you're more emotional than he thought you'd be. He always expected you to be a giggly or chatty drunk, not emotional to the point you're pouting but also looking like you might cry.

“You should...kiss me.”

“What.”

You nod, leaning closer and touching your nose to Zoro's, making him glance away from you just the slightest bit from the proximity despite the bit of pink across his cheeks that you can see. This is the closest you've let yourself get to him ever, even the nights you sneak into his bed from nightmares, you've never placed your face so close to his.

“You didn't kiss me…when we got married.”

“We're not actu–”

“I'll kiss you then.”

You close the gap for the quickest of seconds, kissing Zoro so fast it's like it didn't happen. Despite your drunk state your face burns with a blush and you apologize, you're not sure why you did that. Must've been the alcohol controlling you or something, that's your excuse. You're both quiet but neither of you moves for a moment, before you decide to get up only to have Zoro hold you in place by your shoulders. His brows are furrowed and you're not sure what's going on in his mind, before he pulls you back into a proper kiss, none of this tiny peck of the lips thing you'd just done. He kisses you fully and for more than a brief second, it's several seconds before he pulls away, leaving you both breathless and you personally shocked.

Shocked for just a moment before you take his face in your hands and kiss Zoro a third time, which he returns, surprising you when he wraps his arms around your waist and brings you closer to him (how you could even get closer when you’re already on his lap, you don’t know). You refuse to let him be the one to end this. You don't want this to end, it needs to continue, even if just for you. Even if all it does is make your feelings for him stronger, even if Zoro later tells you it was a mistake and he still held no romantic feelings for you, despite that fact he's so willingly returning such affection.

Even though, a moment later, Zoro pushes you away gently by your shoulders, neither of you able to breathe properly for a moment, catching your breath as your slowly sobering mind tries to play catch up with what the hell just happened.

You kissed Zoro, and he actually kissed you back. He didn't shove you off or yell at you or anything like that. He accepted it and reciprocated without a single word. You figured he would fight you about this, that he wouldn't accept it so easily.

Is this the progress you've been hoping for?

Once you've both caught your breath, Zoro doesn't even look at you, instead moves just enough that you get the hint and get off his lap finally. It's a few minutes of complete silence between the two of you, that has you confused. You thought things were changing, that you two were getting closer than you had been even before Luffy brought you along.

The fact he'd just kissed you back for several minutes it felt like, you thought maybe Zoro was going to confess to you, but when he still doesn't look at you, you attempt to bring him back by taking his hand, which he lets you for a moment before gently pulling his arm back to himself.

“Zoro…I…I'm sor–”

“I think…you should go to bed, [Y/N].”

“Do you,” you gulp a bit, looking away before you finish, “do you want to come with me?”

“No. That's not a good idea.”

You know this, who knows what trouble you'd bring to yourselves or the crew if you two went to your room together? Whose heart would be broken the next morning if you took things too far when you weren't fully sober? You didn't know, the thought of either of you being hurt made your heart ache and you couldn't bear the thought.

So, instead of trying to convince him things would be fine, you really just wanted to sleep with him next to you, you nod, standing up and dusting yourself off, grabbing the bottle you'd brought with you and looking at Zoro again.

“Are you–”

“Gonna stay here for a bit.”

It's all you can do to nod again, apologizing for pushing things too far before you turn and leave, doing your absolute best to keep your tears to yourself as you return to the party, giving Nami a small smile when she asks where you've been, promising her you'd just gone off to spend some time alone.

She doesn't believe you and intends to get all the information she can later, but she does give you a hug that nearly pushes you over, and says she'll beat up whoever made you sad, especially if it's Zoro, earning her a laugh before you return to your room at the hotel.

I wish he had come with me…

Truthfully you don't regret kissing Zoro, not even a bit. Despite his rejection of your feelings, the fact he so willingly kissed you back made you believe that maybe things were changing in your favor.

Perhaps it was because he was drunk, or maybe he was sober enough that he knew exactly what he was doing, especially when he denied returning to your room with you.

Either way, even with your heart aching from another rejection, it feels like you're making progress with Zoro and your relationship with him, little by little.

For his part of it all, Zoro stays in the same place you'd left him for nearly an hour, trying to calm his own racing heart after that exchange with you.

How he never thought of kissing you before, but now he didn't want to do anything but kiss you (it's the alcohol talking, he swears it is). You tasted like the sake you'd shared and whatever sweet wine Nami had convinced you to take several drinks of. A combination he never expected to be so nice, something he didn't think he'd want to taste again. The moment he thinks about it again his heart skips a beat, and Zoro puts head in his hands in an attempt to stop such feelings.

No, no, shit I gotta stop this.

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, pulling it slightly to get those thoughts out of his head. Any focus on romance, on you he wanted out of his head. There's been too much of it lately, the want to stay close to you, to pull you away from everyone else, to give in and indulge himself in you alone. He'd told you nothing was going to happen and he had meant it.

But then you had to go and kiss him. The most innocent of kisses, a quick peck on the lips but he'd gone and pulled you back for more almost instantly. Then you made it worse by returning it again and holding his face this time, he didn't know why he enjoyed that so much. This whole thing was ridiculous, there's no reason for these feelings!

The only thing he could do to get some time to think was to push you away, refuse to join you when you went to bed. Who knows what would've happened if he had gone with you? Of course, he knew your thoughts were innocent, you'd shared a bed multiple times when you turned to him after nightmares, it was highly unlikely you were expecting anything more than to just go to sleep and wake up with a hangover, Zoro by your side in case of alcohol induced nightmares.

And he had made you go to bed alone.

That realization, for some reason, causes his heart to ache and Zoro has to finally admit what he's been trying not to, over the last several months, even with the more domestic thoughts he's allowed himself to entertain at times. Something he was hoping would fade away, would disappear over time like it always did for others, the feelings he's finally realized were going to be more long term than he expected.

Damn it all…I'm falling for my wife.

+!+

Contrary to what many may think, Sanji doesn’t particularly like being privy to romance gossip, not the kind involving his crewmates especially. He thinks that such things should be kept between a couple, so when he accidentally hears you telling Nami and Robin how you and Zoro finally kissed the other night, he’s less than pleased to hear it ended with your swordsman pushing you back, not taking you back to your room, or even staying with you for the night.

How unbelievably rude of him! To steal your first kiss, and not even walk you back to your room!

That’s what Sanji would’ve done. If any woman kissed him, he’d walk her back to her room or home, at the very least, to ensure she was safe and nothing happened. Zoro not doing that, when you were inebriated, when you could’ve been hurt or worse, it angers Sanji more than anything Zoro has or hasn’t done thus far. He views you as his best friend, he hates the way you and Zoro seem to get closer to a real relationship, only for something to happen or someone to intervene and ruin your progress. He’s been cheering for you from the start, ever since you confirmed your feelings for the swordsman, only to now wonder if it’s worth it for you.

If Zoro really is what you want and makes you happy, why does it seem like all you do lately is suffer?

Sanji doesn’t fully mean to give Zoro the cold shoulder this time, or even the suspicious looks he throws at him, but Zoro noticed quickly, before anyone else, and confronts him.

“What the hell is your problem, cook?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit, you’ve been giving me worse looks than normal.”

Sanji bites down on his cigarette, finally dropping the knife he’d been holding to face Zoro with a scowl.

“I heard you and [Y/N] kissed the other night—”

“Damn it.”

“—and you didn’t bother to take her back to her room?”

“What, is that my job now?”

“As her husband it should be!”

“I’m not really her husband! Damn it, this is stupid.”

Zoro goes to leave, but Sanji stops him by grabbing his sleeve, holding on and telling him to stop.

“Look, asshole. I could care less that you two are married, real or not, or that you kissed her,” Sanji grits his teeth, finally letting go of Zoro’s sleeve, “But if you break her heart, I’ll never forgive you, mosshead.”

While Sanji turns back to continue prepping for dinner, Zoro stops for just a moment. The two have had fights before, that’s obvious to anyone with a brain, but they’ve yet to fight about you. And he wonders why it's only now, after you kissed him, that Sanji seems so hell bent on protecting you, or maybe he's always been like this, it's just more on display as you and Zoro start to get closer.

“What’s your deal with her?”

“She’s my best friend, mosshead. I just want her safe and happy, even if it’s with you.”

He doesn’t say anything in response, leaving the kitchen to find you lounging with Nami and Robin, the three of you in some conversation when you look up and see him, giving a slight smile that Zoro returns with a nod, before heading off to the crow’s nest. What Sanji last said is stuck in his head, partially wondering if you told your cook what happened that night in Water Seven or if he was good at guessing, but that’s not the biggest thing he wonders about.

Would you really be happy with me, of all people, [Y/N]?

+!+

“All right, wait, so, you honestly kissed him?”

“Nami don't make me repeat myself.”

Nami laughs while Robin smiles, both amazed you got up the courage to kiss Zoro of all people. Yeah, you were tipsy at the time, even though Zoro still believes you were fully intoxicated, but you couldn't help feeling bad about it afterwards, just for a bit.

“I didn't fully think it through. I just…I don't know, I wanted to kiss him so I did.”

“I don't think he's too upset about it then,” Robin nods a bit, taking a sip of her wine, “You said he kissed you back, if he didn't push you away right off the bat, it sounds like he was positively receptive to it.”

“Yeah,” Nami quickly agrees, giving you a grin, “Sounds like you're getting yourself a boyfriend.”

“I don't think he wants that.”

“Well, what do you want? Maybe you guys could talk it through.”

What did you want? You thought you knew, to be a world renowned swordswoman, to help Luffy become King of the Pirates.

But what did you want from Zoro? Just to be with him, to stay married to him? Do you want to maybe have a family of your own with him one day? You'd had those thoughts when your feelings first started surfacing, after your impromptu wedding at that backwater courthouse. You'd stopped entertaining  thoughts for quite a while, but now, they're coming back more often.

More importantly, does Zoro want any of that with you?

“I…think… I want to be with him forever…”

Hearing Nami choke on her own drink, you give her a concerned look before she looks at you with wide eyes.

“You sound like you're in love with Zoro!”

You don't say anything for a bit, even with Nami and Robin looking at you like they're expecting you to deny such a thing. There was no way you were in love with Zoro, not at all. You two hadn't dated, your marriage was only temporary, it was meant to end as soon as you had something from your parents. You two weren't going to last forever, you weren't going to have kids together, live out your lives as a married couple. It wasn't happening.

No matter how much you may want it to. That's what Nami and Robin have come to think over time, from the things you've said to them.

“I am, Nami.”

Despite Nami's new outburst and saying she knew it with Robin laughing, you don't feel any kind of worry or fear about admitting your real feelings for Zoro. Neither of them would tell, your secret was safe as could be.

But for you, all you do is smile to yourself.

You love Zoro, more than anything. You've thought so for a while now, but finally voicing it aloud gives you a sense of peace and happiness. Whether Zoro ever returns your feelings or not, whether you two come to act as a married couple or not, you're more than happy to even stay by his side as his crewmate and friend. Even if you have to love him silently, you'd do so.

You'll hope he comes to love you back one day, but you won't force anything on him.

“I'm in love with Zoro.”

~~

Note 2: Me writing this: now KISS.

After writing: omg they kissed

[1ovede1uxe]

09. just something to think about┊ ┊⋆ beyond the stars

series synopsis - you've been sent to join the joestar crew on their mission to defeat dio by... dio? y/n is an undercover stand user who joins the sdc to report back to dio their findings and notes about their stands, up until a few moral dilemmas get in the way of your original mission.

ch. synopsis - hold onto your socks bc theres some accusations being thrown around and nothing but airpods separating the romance blossoming, + light fluff

italicized text is your thoughts!

Five arduous hours later, your hand crafted dune buggy of a car was up and running. You only prayed that your father's extensive knowledge on cars he attempted to pass on to you was somewhat accurate.

Everyone toppled into the car, up until you yelled out "HOLD IT!" Everyone's heads snapped toward you, a look of concern decorated the men's faces.

"I want shotgun." Everyone let out a sigh of simultaneous relief and annoyance. "What? I made the damn car let me sit up front in it."

"Oh good grief. "

"You're gonna give this old man a heart attack!"

Polnareff got out of the shotgun and squeezed himself into the trunk, the only remaining space. For the first time in a while, an awkward silence settled in the back of the car, each occupant lost in their own thoughts and/or devices.

The hum of the engine seemed louder than usual, filling the void left by the absence of conversation, until Avdol broke the silence.

"So (y/n), tell me about your stand in full. I'm truly curious, especially since it's not aligned with the tarot."

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, caught off guard by the sudden inquiry. "Uh, sure," you began, trying to gather your thoughts. "I named it after a song I liked. As for its power..."

As you delved into the description of your stand's abilities, Avdol listened intently, nodding along at certain points as he absorbed the information.

"So forgive me for asking, but how did you and Kakyoin end up together?" Avdol's question came out of left field, causing you to nearly choke on your own spit. You whipped your head around to gauge Kakyoin's reaction in the back, only to find him seemingly unfazed. "HA!" Polnareff chuckled from the trunk, enjoying the unexpected turn of events. Both Jotaro and Kakyoin had noise-canceling earbuds for car rides, much to your relief as you mentally thanked whatever divine force prevented Kakyoin from hearing the question.

"Oh, Mr. Avdol, Kakyoin and I aren't a couple," you clarified, trying to mask the discomfort in your voice.

I mean I wouldn't really mind. Even solidification of his feelings for me would be nice.

Avdol seemed taken aback, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Forgive me, I had just assumed over his gaze at you as he complimented Midler earlier on, as well as spending time together on the island."

You chuckled awkwardly, feeling the weight of the misunderstanding hanging in the air. "Yeah, I guess we do spend a bit of time together," you admitted, taking a sip of water to fill the uncomfortable silence that followed.

"I guess its just something to think about."

Mr. Joestar finally had caught up with the conversation after another minute or so. "Wait you and Kakyoin aren't a couple?!" You sighed and facepalmed as Polnareff continued to giggle to himself. You had returned to your devices until you reached your destination

previous chapter // next chapter // masterlist

Mariah is on private so the crusaders don’t see her tweets 🤞🏻 also aw kakyoins finally figuring out his feelings :3

Sorry for the shorter chapter! Tried to make this one a little more social media based, I'm honestly struggling to write out Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'doul. Hopefully it'll be out soon! I have a very busy month, so I wanted to get this chapter out a little earlier than usual in the month. I'm also beginning to edit some of the earlier chapters. As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated. taglist is open! you can request through message or askbox!

Thank you to everyone on my taglist and all of you who interact, your support means the world <3

taglist: @kerto-p, @pancakesyrupthief, @kakyoinslastcherry, @marvelmayo

[ggukkiedae]

BTS MIYA Kicks Off Her Solo Comeback With Exciting News

7:30PM || March 21, 2024

MIYA talks about her future plans during her comeback showcase!

MIYA dropped the album's pre-release single 'SHHH!' on February 14 as a sample for 'REPPIN'". Since then, ARMYs have excitedly waited for the album's release.

'REPPIN'" is an album that MIYA describes to be one that boosts the feeling of self-confidence while taking inspiration from people she sees as 'girl bosses'. Her examples include Beyonce, Marvel's Natasha Romanoff, Ocean's 8 Debby Ocean, Hotel Del Luna's Jang Man Wol, and Little Mix among many others.

The full-length album came out 6PM today, but Bangtan's Princess held a showcase for the press and a number of ARMYs at 1PM where she performed her title track 'DRAMA' and two b-sides as well ('bloodline' and 'whistle') as talked about her tracks, as we'll write at the end of the article.

Alongside her album release, MIYA released news of a tour this year, starting off in June. She noted that the tour "was actually supposed to be announced tomorrow, but I'm already here. I'll leave the details for the poster, but I'll be going on my first solo tour later this year, and I'm definitely going to focus on performing more recent songs! See you all in June!"

ARMYs flooded to the internet with the news, both excited over the new music as well as the possibility of seeing MIYA perform old songs again as well as other songs she had never performed before.

Are you excited for MIYA's tour? Read below to get a glimpse of what to expect from it from MIYA herself:

MY HOUSE (only until 2:03): "I wanted to open the album with something empowering that boosts that feeling of self-confidence and independence, you know? Also something that feels like pride for representing you and what's yours."

DRAMA: "This is the album's title track and one out of the four songs in Korean on the album. I'd like to say, like its title, it gives off a dramatic vibe in a way that practically screams 'main character energy'."

bloodline: "Writing 'bloodline', i tried to tap into the mindset of a girl breaking free from a toxic relationship. Of course, it isn't something I personally experienced in terms of romance because we all know how sweet and amazing my boyfriend is, but I pulled this a bit from when I got emancipated from my biological birthgivers. Only a little bit. Just the resentment."

egotistic: "I'd say that 'egotistic' falls along similar lines to 'bloodline' in terms of freeing and self/confidence. It has a more Latin pop vibe that I definitely have been dabbling in alongside other genres over my hiatus."

bet u wanna: "If there were one song on this album that would make you more confident when talking to a guy you like, I would think 'bet u wanna' is that song. Enough said, I think that pretty much speaks for itself."

got her own (with TXT Seri): "Seri was with me almost the whole time I worked on 'got her own'! She was really excited to work on something that celebrates female independene and just overall self-sufficiency, and I'd like to think we made a good anthem just for that."

grl gvng: "This is like a song I made with a bunch of my closest friends in the industry. I think namely NCT's Hannah unnie, TXT's Seri, Enhypen's Ari, Aespa's Ningning, Red Velvet's Yeri unnie, and Le Sserafim's Yunjin. These girls are some of the strongest I know."

shhh!: "You guys already know 'shhh!'. You wouldn't expect the album from the pre-release single, would you? Yes, I absolutely enjoyed the more mature concepts I did recently, so I carried it over with this in a more playful manner that shows certainty in one's own desires."

princess diana (with NCT Hannah): "Princess Diana was an icon in her time, and obviously Hannah unnie and I both grew up in England for a time hearing stories of her. This song was kind of us channeling her iconicness in a... not as elegant manner."

b.i.t.c.h.: "I know it's still a shock for many to see me include curses in my music, but I don't care. That's this song, you know? Taking the reigns of my own life because people will always talk, so I don't need to waste time trying to appease everyone at the cost of losing myself. It was a lesson hard learned."

whistle: "This is the last of the Korean songs on this album. Like the others, it's very self-confidence based with the more alluring calmer vibes. It's a song I particularly enjoy performing just because the choreography feels playful and upbeat."

7 rings: "The album closes with '7 rings'. We can't have a woman empowerment album without at least one manifesting song, right? This is the trap song to play when you're getting ready for a girl's night in the bathroom to hype yourself up."

taglist: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms @jammingjaem

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I was thinking, perhaps too deeply, about The Man Who Would Be King and October. This because both seem, to me, to have one very important aspect in common: at the beginning there is a clear relationship that is central, and possibly romantic, but is later deplaced by a completely different one (yet, the first one still holds some importance, enough to cause some jealousy or friction). Because in The Man Who Would Be King there is an obvious interest, at the beginning, to explore the relationship between Tom and Lily. I wasn't sure if it was to be a romantic one, and if it was from the beginning is arguably the slowest slow burn imaginable (since Lily has to forego her ideals, forgive Tom murdering and being responsible for the deaths of friends and her husband, as well as some other issues). Yet, while that potential romance has not died entirely, it has been replaced by one I prefer and find more interesting, this time the one between Tom and Alphard.

And, here is the thing, it made me think of October. Where you were very blatant about being a Tomarry fic on the author notes, yet, the fic itself made it very clear the most important romance was between Lily and Tom. Harry, or Azrael, slowly lost relevancy, and became far more antagonistic and less, well, passional. Their romance seem to dwindle a lot, even if both of them accepted it as something inevitable (as they were both immortals).

And is an interesting parallel for both fics to have, because I'm not sure it was intentional for neither. After all, while Alphard did appear on the fic quite early, he was a background character until the assassination attempt, after that he stole the readers' hearts. And while I see Tom, as Alphard does, having an oblivious crush on Lily, I also feel like the inclusion of Alphard did make the fic change its focus from Lily and Tom potential romance to the one between Alphard and Tom. Mostly, because the romance is more viable (for the characters, at least), since the one between Lily and Tom requires a huge transformation of character from them both, while the one between Tom and Alphard seems already finding some soil to stand on (although I'm very well aware there is a lot to be done before they get together for real, if they ever do).

There is, however, an interesting contrast between the two fics: Tom. Tom is completely different in both fics. In one he neve gains political power, and stops doing things that could be considered evil. On the contrary, he is a very reputable citizen, or would be of it wasn't for his lack of status and because he married his 40 years younger student. While on the other fic Tom is Voldemort, has killed willingly and repeatedly, and showed little to no remorse about it. The Lily romancing October's Tom and The Man Who Would Be King's Tom are completely different women. But it begs the question, perhaps, how different would October be if you got to rewrite it or to write it now? Because I strongly suspect Alphard would be a part of it, and the whole romance dynamic of the fic would change entirely. It would be, at the very least, more angsty and chaotic for sure. Yet, it does make me wonder how it would go.

Now, given what I know of your and Vinelle's fic repertoire, it could be possible this time it could end up as a poly. An impossible thing on October (not just because of the incest, but also because neither Harry/Azrael nor Lily would ever allow it), but scaringly likely on The Man Who Would Be King. After all, the romantic tension between Tom and Lily is there, as well as a potential betrothal between Alphard and Lily has been discussed. Of course, I feel like Alphard is gay on his entirety, not bisexual, so I see the poly being more of a V kind of relationship rather than a true triad if it ever came to happen.

All of this to say, I'm very curious about what is going to happen with the three of them on the fic. I must admit, however, that Alphard won my heart so strongly I prefer him over the other two, which surprises me since he is barely canon to begin with. I guess it does speak of how good you write him, since he is very dear to my heart (not only on this fic, I also love him on Amulette d'Amour).

Maybe this is a very mistaken analysis, but I wanted to share it nonetheless, just to hear what you think (of course, I do recognize that some aspects of this analysis involve predictions, so I understand you not expanding on those points because of spoilers).

In an unrelated note, the mystery aspect of the fic is really good, and all my theories end up being proven wrong at some point, or in some manner. I'm seriously intrigued by how the mystery (or mysteries) is going to be solved, at the end.

October by me and The Man Who Would Be King by me and @therealvinelle

Very interesting analysis, anon! I don't think I'm going to confirm or deny anything (not the least because of potential spoilers).

Look, @therealvinelle, a lot of praise!

[dareactions]

SO SO SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK

Don't you mind writing Dorian/Inquisitor marriage proposal? We were so robbed at the end of the game please.

Okay, so I haven't played Dorians romance in a while, so excuse me if its a bit OOC here. Tried my best to keep his personality in check lmao.

I decided to do the Inquisitor proposing to Dorian rather than the other way around, bcs our man deserves that. (Altho I do have an idea for him proposing as well maybe.)

Dorian can feel that something is off, it's in the air. It's that odd peculiar shift that sometimes passes by unknowingly and gradually but he can pinpoint the exact moment it occurred, it was two weeks ago during dinner. His amatus, the love of his life, the savior of the world- all that very important stuff, looked up at him with the most peculiar look and ever since it's been off.

''You'd tell me, if the world was ending again, wouldn't you?'' He speaks up from his seat near the open fireplace, his love glancing up from the mabari that had kept his focus for most of the night. Dorian didn't actually mind the dog as much as he thought he would. It's kind of cute, in a saliva slobbering kind of way. ''Yes, I'd like to think so. Why? Am I glowing green again?'' The joke falls horribly flat, Dorian does absolutely not smile whatsoever thank you very much.

''No, you're not glowing green. You're just being weird lately. Weirder than usual.'' Dorian can't help but huff, putting his book on the side-table with a lazy arm, it makes an uncomfortably loud 'thud' sound upon hitting the wood and he can't help but frown. ''I'm not being weird, you're being weird.'' Is the lame counter his boyfriend offers, focusing back on the mabari with a laugh.

Except Dorian knows that isn't it, not quite. ''No. Something is off, what is it? You told me after- after everything you'd be more honest.'' After the arm. After the mark almost tore him apart, he'd promised Dorian wholeheartedly to not keep a single thing from him.

His amatus stares for a long moment, long enough for Dorian to fidget in his chair. He pulls at the fabric of his linen shirt, and pushes a hand through his hair in an attempt to look less nervous at bringing up the promise. ''It's not the right moment.'' He finally responds, soft words that are barely heard over the crackling fire. ''I don't care about it being the right moment, if something is wrong I want to know.'' His words have far more bite in them than Dorian intends and he sighs after a while.

''Nothing is wrong, I promise.'' His lover stands up and makes his way across the room, and Dorian tries to not pout as a warm hand makes it to his knee. It's such a gentle motion he probably would've cried had it been done a few years ago.

''Then tell me.'' Dorian pushes and his love dares to smile that stupidly charming smile and make his chest clench in affection. He'd love this man until he died, well and truly. There was no other way around it.

''Very well, but you can't come and complain to me that I didn't do it properly later.'' He sighs and Dorian perks up, sitting up attentively and ignoring the laughter that makes the smallest hint of embarrassment rear its head.

''We've been through a lot, too much probably. And I honestly wasn't sure if I'd survive long enough to ask this. For a while it seemed like I'd be robbed of the chance to do so before it even seemed a possibility.'' Their hands interlink and Dorian for the millionth time notices all the small scars that cover his lovers hand. They speak tales of battles fought before and after they met, struggles nobody could ever dare to try and understand.

''But there was never a doubt in my mind. Because you are the most brilliant man I've ever met, compassionate enough for both us and snarky enough.'' ''Excuse you, I will have you know-'' Dorian interrupts but quickly gets shushed with a grin. ''Shush, I'm being romantic, love.'' His love laughs, pressing a kiss against Dorian's hand and sure enough its enough to shut him up.

''What I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. Is that you have enough positive qualities that I could write more than a few books about it. You know, normally people have enough time to write speeches down for these things- but you just had to be so perceptive.'' Dorian should probably be annoyed at that, but he just grins- the most proud smug look that he could manage right now when he feels the need to cry sneak up on him.

''You're tearing up, oh, andraste's tits-'' ''Amatus, hurry up and ask so I can say yes.''

''Dorian, will you marry me?'' The question is barely asked before Dorian kisses him, all giggly and warm and far too eager. They stumble to the floor and their laughter bounces off the walls of the study, Dorian's tears an annoying addition he'd lie about later if asked.

''Yes, I'll marry you. I'll marry you a hundred times over, fall in love with you in every life possible- you absolute fool, I followed you to the ends of the world, of course I'll marry you.''

Dorian followed him to the ends of the world and he'd do it again, but this time he'd much prefer if they had matching rings for the occasion.

[theambivalentagender]

I love your comic!! What inspired you to share Zekes story?

There's a lot to this answer so buckle up.

I've always been a writer, ever since I was a little kid telling stories has been my entire life's goal. But its been a struggle, and for a long time I've felt kinda lost in trying to survive taking soul sucking desk jobs. It honestly destroyed any desire I had to create.

And then at the beginning of 2022 I got abruptly fired (for what I don't think are honest reasons but that's another story). And then I found myself just not being able to land a new job no matter what I did - I worked in a tech-adjacent industry and know others in similar positions also have had these issues. Weeks turned into months, and my mental health took a nosedive.

That summer I noticed one of my long time close friends kept popping up on steam playing Stardew Valley at odd hours in the morning. I'd heard of the game before, I loved farming sims, and I really needed a distraction. So I finally bought it.

Long story short, several hours into the game this motherfucker hits me up with this line:

So you can imagine what that did to my psyche. I got so god damn invested in the game. Like I do with any game, I started modding the crap out of it, mostly to add more lines for Shane. And then I found myself imagining my own little story with my farmer.

For a good while this was just a dumb headcanon story I had every time I played Stardew. But then I found myself actually plotting things out, connecting different aspects of SDV that were "unexplained" or "implied" with the story I was developing in my head. And then I realized - I was making a story again. I was feeling the exact same way I used to feel when I would plan out and write a play, or a short story, or one of my many unfinished novels. It was such a good feeling, and I started coming around to the idea that I shouldn't just keep this story in my head.

I dealt with a lot of self doubt over it of course. The last time I wrote anything like fanfiction was when I was 10 and it was a HP fanfic where I misspelled Slytherin in five different ways. Some part of me felt like it would be wasting time because I wouldn't make money off of it. Another part of me worried I'd be mocked for writing an entire self-indulgent story about a borderline self-insert character romancing a grumpy pixel man, when I was nearly 30 living in an apartment with a long term partner and shouldn't be doing such *childish things*.

I lurked around the SDV fandom for a long time before actually posting anything, and seeing other people, often people close to my own age, doing exactly what I was afraid of because fuck it, we're adults and we get to decide what that means, really helped. It also helped to see a positive community praising and supporting creators of all skill levels.

As for the money thing, I ended up "justifying" it to myself that if I made myself draw just about every day working on the comic (since I had decided to make it a comic rather than a fanfic), that would help me bring my art skills up to par with my writing skills. And, well, it would probably help my mental health if I had something productive to work on while I still looked for a job, because there's only so many times you can rotate between various video games.

I honestly didn't expect the comic to get as much attention as it has. But I told myself even if nobody cared about it, I'd make it for the one person who wanted to see this story play out - me.

[andoqin]

List of dramas that I am watching or want to watch, just for personal record reasons:

Cdramas:

The ingenious one (36/36): this drama has blown me away so far with its incredibly nuanced and sharp writing, its love stories between all the major couples and the absolutely magnificent cinematography. FINISHED verdict: HIGHLIGHT drama of the year for me so far. Smart, engaging, complicated, peak romance of all sorts, just what the doctor ordered tbh (overly long review can be found in my tags). 9.5

Chang Feng Du (40/40): I did not realise how close to the end I was. This drama is very pleasant and I adore our mains, but sadly except for a few highlights (the early beating gjs put on himself, the destruction of the gu family and the aftermath, the battle for wangdu) the writing hasn’t been able to keep the narrative tension up which is sad. FINSHED verdict: Very pretty and engaging in the beginning kinda loses me in the second half and then fizzles out emotionally, doesn't crash and burn but doesn't exactly stick the landing either 6.5

Gone with the rain (10/30): adore the gremlin4gremlin couple and from the spoilers I’ve seen not gonna adore much else

An ancient love song (1/16): incredible first episode and with only 30 min per ep and 16 eps in total this is gonna be a short fun ride I hope ( with lots of angst and tears naturally).

Here we meet again (18/32): started this for Wu Qian playing to type and Zhang BinBin being pretty but oh boy I’m struggling I just don’t care about the conflicts and in s surprising twist, I like the flashbacks to high school much much more, which is very funny if you think about the fact that the reason I started liking wu qian in the first place was because of her show stealing performance in the flashbacks of My Sunshine. I’ve been promised kisses in the near future so I’m gonna hold out till then but this might end up another drop.

Hidden Love (5/25): this one promises to be v sweet and kinda short but oh my god I have so many dramas on my plate rn so this might end up the first drop.

Till the end of the moon (22/40): I think I watched ep 1 when it started but then I got busy and now I am just staring at gifsets and crying, it’s definitely on the list to watch tho.

Heroes (6?/38): I started this a while ago, was really into it and then got busy… dammit. I might just rewatch the beginning so I can remember most of the set up for sure but man the visuals on this were so good, aaaa liu yuning.

Blood of youth (0/40): the last 12 months really have spoiled us with interesting looking wuxia dramas and this one is definitely on the list, I have been gifbaited once again.

Ray of light (0/30): usually hs dramas are something I avoid, but because I will not be watching the longest promise, for reasons, and bc @storge is a gifmaking temptress, this has made it on the list.

The legend of anle (0/39): Lmao trust YOUKU to screw up the release with bad subs only 1 ep even for vips and no released schedule… but at least I can put this on the backburner for now. Lmao should have known not to trust a youku dilreba drama, the tl has soundingly spoken and I'm gonna avoid this.

Ancient Detective (0/24): I was recced this by a friend when I mentioned my love for wuxia dramas, and since it’s almost shockingly short for a cdrama it’s on the list. EDIT: this got @purplehanfus seal of approval so it is def going up the list and since it's complete I'll probably at least watch it before the ongoing ones.

Butterflied love (0/22): see I barely made this post and already forgot about the screencap that got me started on writing it, the screencapa look great, but the drama is on mango, so who knows when I’ll truly be able to watch this

When I fly towards you (0/24): Well, I wasn't interested bc modern youth drama, but then I heard it described as "updated It Started with a Kiss" and... I'm weak? ISWAK was pretty much my crack gateway into asian dramas and while IDK if i could rewatch it today, something in me will always love this kind of story. Maybe it's like a quick palate cleanser in between since apparently eps are only about 30 mins.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook(0/40): CHENG YIIIII, in a possibly bromantic role? Or maybe het romance, I'll take it all. Plus I've already seen he's bleeding copious amounts as per his contract, so that's most of the checklist done.

Lost You Forever (0/??): because nature abhors a vacuum I apparently must have?? A minimum to watch pile and this actually and genuinely looks good??? A Yang Zi drama in 2023??? The mind boggles. Anyway I've been reading the recaps with delight, and am def going to watch this when part two airs in a couple of months but until then I have a thankful reprieve...

Kdramas:

See you in my 19th life (4/12): since kdramas release so slowly this is on the backburner but it does have some great gifsets that keep enticing meee

King the land (2/16): I am watching this for junho but it is kinda hard bc I have so much else on my plate and while I don’t mind a classic romcom type story I feel I need a bit more of an emotional hook

Story of the nine-tailed 1938 (0/16): so so many gorgeous and hilarious gifsets so little time. I loved season one so so much and the fact that this focuses on the brotherly relationship?? Extremely smart writing decisions were made!

The red sleeve (0/16): I blame @dangermousie for this she keeps reblogging angsts junho on my dash and I am but god’s weakest warrior.

Love tractor (0/8): gay himbo farmboy falls in love?? You bet this is on the list

Lady durian (0/?): ok this is only on the list for crack reasons but, daughter in law is in love with mother in law and both women are like 40+ truly kdramas have entered a new era and I kinda wanna be here for that

EDIT: Revenant (0/12): Kim Tae Ri in a spooky drama? POSSIBLY POSSESSED KIM TAE RI??? how could i forget to put her on this list, plus it was written by the Kingdom writer and I adore that drama plus it's only 12 eps which is smart in this case so... let's hope i get to it at some point D:

My dearest (2/20): I checked this out because it's got pretty much everything going for it from a production standpoint and boy did the first two eps deliver. This has got 2 seasons though so I'll probably wait until the second season is airing, since it won't be too long till season 2 or so the internet tells me.

My lovely liar (0/16): minhyun learned to act and I wanna see it happen!!

Jdramas:

Our dining table (2/10): ok this category is gonna be a bit shorter bc I haven’t watched too much drama recently but omg the gifs for this I am just crying thinking about it they look so cute??

Jack o‘frost (0/6): people have recced it and it’s short so here it is.

Utsukushii kare s2 (0/4): Season 1 was an unexpected delight so I hope s2 works just as well.

She loves to cook and she loves to eat (0/10): the manga for this is amazing (and hungry making) so I hope this adaptation holds up.

Ok this list is in no way exhaustive (well except for me being exhausted just trying toward this down) and probably subject to change ( I haven’t even looked at thaidramas or twdramas I gotta stop for now) but hopefully this will keep me on the ball and maybe I can add to it whenever a new tempting gifset crosses my dash…

[scintillyyy]

anyways i have been delightfully chewing on tdr 7 for the past couple of days and the thing is i can absolutely see the intent to establish tim-bernard as this romantic couple who are well suited for each other. like, this is clearly a ship meghan is super invested in as tim's canon romance and she clearly has a love for it and for the character of bernard she is creating. i can see the clear intent of "see this is why they adore each other". and i genuinely think that since dc is trying to play it safe with tim's & jon's romances (and pushing bernard as tim's boyfriend in other media as well) i can't picture them doing anything that would indicate that this is anything but a wholesome romance.

however, this means that, interestingly to me, meghan has unintentionally created what i personally find to be a fairly unhealthy, potentially toxic dynamic between the two of them. and i can see exactly how that happened too!! like there are two main factors here to me: 1) meghan's tendency to enjoy and write very fandom-y tropes and 2) meghan's tendency to metatextually comment on her critics.

from the first perspective, we have bernard as she has created him: he's so in love with tim because tim is his savior, tim is saving him from his terrible life, tim saves him from the villain. tim is special! he has figured out tim, but because he is the perfect one for tim, he will wait patiently for tim to open up to him and just be understanding until tim is ready. and this isn't bad on its own! these are all common fiction tropes, especially in action-romance (and comic books in general) when you're trying to justify why your characters work together as a couple. there has to be something that links them together, after all. the damsel in distress/man who saved them trope is a tale as old as time. so, too, is casting the love interest as the person who understands your main character better than anyone else in the world, that's, after all, what sets them apart from all the others. (it's also very common as a fanfic trope--especially in the fandom of old, when ship manifestos were a thing and a lot of the basis of some fanfics were this idea of "well, this is why my non-canon ship/why this person is way better for <character> than anyone else"). but then we mix those tropes with this idea of "bernard has a sad life with no other support", it ends up really casting bernard as very codependent and potentially desperate in his reliance on tim. and then when she pairs that with the story she is crafting for tim: that of someone who is just starting to discover himself, who is very unsure of his place in life, who is actively in the honeymoon phase of his relationship where everything bernard does is perfect to him, it creates this very potentially uneven dynamic: tim is new to all of this and unsure of everything (he didn't even know if they were dating-dating for 6 months! he is living in this ambiguous place where he doesn't necessarily know the rules and everything is muddy) and the person who he is looking to for guidance in all of this (bernard, who is much more confident with this relationship and is the one who initiated it) is someone who is in turn desperately reliant on tim continuing to love him because he needs tim as his savior. so unintentionally, she's created a potentially unhealthy dynamic for this couple off the bat.

and then to touch on the second perspective, which is her tendency to metatextually comment on her critics--such as she did with all of yj:dc. in this case it's the (slighty cringey) dialogue towards the end where bernard is like "i always knew you weren't straight" (paraphrased). like this is clearly meghan herself commenting on her homophobic critics who are very upset that tim is now bisexual while also acknowledging that there were definitely reasons why tim was, for the many years before he officially came out, seen as not entirely straight by fandom. bernard then is speaking for fandom when he basically says "even though dixon and willingham definitely never intended this, the subtext was there and it was valid." however!! from a purely in-text standpoint i cannot stress how dialogue like this makes the hair on the back my neck rise. like. i don't even let my husband say shit that implies he knows me better (or has always known me better) than i know myself. that is a red flag in a partner. in my dating days, i used to get assholes try shit like that ("i could tell you were <insert whatever here>") and it was an immediate non-starter for me. stuff like that should be on a list of traits in a partner to avoid at all costs tbh. paired with this idea that bernard has figured out all of tim's deepest, darkest secrets that tim has not told him (even though tim definitely knows he knows) is kind of...hrm, uncomfortable (?) to me. idk this might just be a personal squick for me in a relationship, but just the whole "i know someone better than they know themselves" is just...nagl, imo, especially when bernard is the one who has been the more confident and proactive one of the relationship from the get-go, because now tim is written as trying to figure himself out and bernard is being written as the person who knows tim so deeply, he knows everything that tim needs from him and who he needs to be for tim and that's the person who is showing tim who is really is. just...not an ideal dynamic imo. that's usually not a hallmark of a super healthy relationship.

+ tied with the possessiveness of immediately giving a necklace with a letter of his first name (again, metatextual to assure critics that bernard is here to stay and is tim's love interest now) so that he can always be with tim as tim's lucky charm. idk there's just a lot that raises several red flags to me.

especially when paired with point one--where bernard has unintentionally been given traits that very well could be seen as bernard having a very vested interest in ensuring that tim stays somewhat dependent on him because bernard is so dependent on tim being with him. bernard wanting to always be with tim has a bit of a darker edge when paired with bernard needing tim as his lifeline from his terrible life. and tim, who is figuring himself out and still in the honeymoon stage would not necessarily see these things as the potential red flags they are (though also, not to pin this all on bernard: tim having a tendency to be self-sacrificing for his loved ones would definitely enmesh himself in this dynamic and feel personally responsible for making sure that he is bernard's savior and would absolutely feed into these toxic dynamics)

and i can tell!! very much!! that this is not how meghan is not intending this relationship to be read. like this is way more insidious than i'm sure meghan is intending. like, i know i am objectively wrong here and i genuinely don't think bernard is this insidious or bad. like, obviously, it's meant to be more wholesome and innocent than all of this. there's no sinister framing, there's clear out of text, sensible explanations for why she would write their romance this way. the intent is clearly for cutesy romance!

however, to me, it's almost like she's accidentally created a potentially super toxic pairing that has all the groundwork to go very, very wrong and i am 100% more intrigued by this reading. it makes me go "run, tim, run." i want to see the ramifications of this relationship and i am in full support of them breaking up because this is so potentially unhealthy. which. i don't think she was planning at all when she was so excited to give us bernard's pov. lmao. oops.

[noa-ciharu]

'kay i want book recs that will give me psychological damage please!

Here comes the psychological damage! Also I'm so sorry it took me few months to write this out :<

Alright, since it's been a while since I read classics, out of books I can rec: The Stranger (Albert Camus, 1942), Myth of Sisyphus (Albert Camus, 1942), Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dolstoevski, 1844), Notes from Underground (Fyodor Dolstoevski, 1864), The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, 1915), No Longer Human (Dazai Osamu, 1948), The Collector (John Fowles, 1963) and let's add Under Cherries in Full Bloom (Sakaguchi Ango, 1966) for absurdity's sake.

Now if you want mangas (which I have a hunch you do), then here are some:

Baraou no Souretsu (Aya Kanno; 17 vols, 2013-2022)

I've read this one a month ago and I still can't get it out of my mind. It's a dark historical shojo tragedy, genre rarely seen nowadays. Story is about prince Richard, who is born neither male nor female - with both sexes actually. From very beginning his mother cast him aside and called a demon that'll bring misfortune to those around him. Needless to say this way of growing up left deep scars on Richard as he cannot accept himself. Manga is based on historical happenings (Wars of Roses I believe), so expect alot of dramas and tragedies. Plot is unique in my opinion, especially the regression of characters where instead of becoming better versions of themselves they fall into their characters flaws. Richard and other characters are extremely well written, struggles he faces regarding love and vulnerability are realistically portrayed. I especially liked Richard's multiply yet all tragic in a manner love interests and bonds he formed with them; one of rare romances in mangas I genuinely loved. Art is beautiful, I fully recommend this manga (although it is very dark and brutal).

Earl Cain/ GodChild (Yuki Kaori, 8 vols, 2001 - 2003)

Again, historical tragic gothic shojo with shonen ai vibes. Manga has two names if that's confusing you; why that's the case however, I have no clue. Set in 19th century England, a young nobleman Cain solves mysteries and crimes; he's followed by his servant Riff and 10 year old half sister Mary. He succeeded position as family head after early death of his father. Series goes on as rather tame for a bit but with dreading feeling of disaster lurking under corner. Once facades drop, they drop for real and series takes on a rather dark, conflicting and dramatic turn. That's all I can say without spoiling things too much. Artstyle is amazing (I mean, it's Kaori Yuki). Characters are amazingly written, especially Clain and Mary. Full with symbolism, even main character's name is a symbol of its own. Once more, series is rather dark and can be heavy to read to it might not be everyone's cup of tea. But in term of psychological damage and drama, as well as Shakespearean tragedy, it's amazing.

Bastard (Youngchan Hwang, 5 vols; 2014 - 2016)

Now I must clarify - I never read this one to the end. Not because I disliked it but because it scared life out of me. Psychological horror, very disturbing and gore. Jin is the quiet protagonist that goes on with his life; however right from the very start you can tell there's something deeply unsettling about him. Quite uncanny atmosphere goes on for a few intro chaps where you're trying to figure out what's wrong with Jin and what's the source of his terror. Then another shoe drops: his father, who is respectful business man on surface, is a deranged serial killer who sells organs and for years Jin had unwillingly been his accomplice. I've googled this manhwa for images and saw pics of him and.... kudos to author how distorted and horrific he's drawn and how effective horror is in his works but I'll be needing therapy. This is a webton, so expect amazing graphic, horror and jumpscares (effective one to the boot) and alot of psychological drama and gore. This webton deranged me, I couldn't sleep for days, I had to drop it for sake of mental health. But I have nothing but praises for it, best of horror manhwas I've read so far. There are few other manhwas by same author, they're all amazingly written and bring chills to bones in a way that lasts, not simply in terms of jumpscares and horror images but tension and terrific atmosphere.

Tokyo Babylon (CLAMP, 7 vols, 1990-1993)

I have to live up to my reputation of Clamp blog. Don't be fooled by bight colors this ain't a happy manga. Jokes aside, this is another dark shojo with psychological and tragic elements. Protagonist is 16 year old medium Subaru who deals with spirits which are left lingering on Earth and unable to move on due to pain. However what sets this manga apart from rest exorcism media is that focus is on social issues, emotional conflicts and psychological elements; social criticism. There are only three characters (beside chap-per-chap ones) so they're all complex and explored; and quite unique both as individuals and trio. Deconstruction of typical coming of age mangas as tragedy is something that's inseparable from wishes and happiness. Manga had darker undertones and looming sense of dread from beginning but it was still somewhat light because of dynamic main trio head; once the other shoe drops and pretense stops, real tragic nature shows. One of most memorable and tragic/ nihilistic endings I've ever seen in fiction. If you've watched Hannibal I'd say skeleton of underlining plot is pretty similar.

Also Tokyo Babylon has a continuation (although both series can be read on their own, but spoilers) and since that's psychological damage on steroids imma rec it too:

X/1999 (CLAMP, 18.5 vols, 1992 - )

Unfortunately this one has been on hiatus since 2003; but imo is worth the read anyways. Starts as regular shojo but really quickly turns into dark apocalypse psychological drama with some gore. Protagonist is teenager boy named Kamui who returned to Tokyo as mother instructed him before dying. There he finds out he's the one who'll decide fate of World: he's given a choice to either protect it or seek change, bring revolution down to Earth and destroy it. But Kamui doesn't want anything to do with it; he's trying to stay away in misguided attempt to protect those he loves as he believes tragedies follow him. However he cannot escape fate and eventually decides to stay with those he cares about and try to protect them, only for things to go wrong again. X is full of symbolism and dark shojo elements; also tragedies since for 18 vols not once could characters catch a break. Main characters are extremely complexly written, plot is intriguing and artstyle in later volumes one of best I've ever seen in mangas. Bonds between characters and self-destructive wishes are core of manga, as well as (presumably) deconstruction of selfless sacrifice in name of love trope.

Monster (Naoki Urasawa; 18 vols, 1994 - 2001)

This one is more famous, you've probably heard of it. Psychological thriller mystery. Dr. Kenzo Tenma is a surgeon in one hospital in Germany. One night he's faced with a difficult decision: twins Joahn and Anna arrive to the hospital in same time some Major does. Johan has a gun wound to the head - Tenma can operate on only one of them. He chooses to save a boy. Major dies as result and Tenma loses his social status. A decade latter series of strange events start occurring, only for Tenma to realize in the end he saved a 'Monster' that night. He vows to fix that mistake. An amazing series and show, I've seen it long ago so I can't recall too many details. Characters are fleshed out and deeply explored along with psychological elements like what does it take one to become a 'Monster'.

Beside those I can rec Neon Genesis Evangelion (this is a heavy watch/read, you need to be in right mindset for it), Erased (was nice until the ending), Killing Stalking (look, rabid yaoi fangirls ruined this one, from psychological horror perspective this is amazingly written; check trigger warnings beforehand), xxxHolic and Higurashi.

[arionawrites]

arionawrites updated writeblr intro

who the hell am i?

my name is ariona! i also go by ari (common nickname), rio (occasional nickname), and whatever the hell else people wanna call me (within reason). fun fact, my childhood nickname was bird because when i started talking i apparently sounded like a parrot (:

i’m in my mid-twenties (23 as of posting this; turning 24 in march!) and i have been writing since i was in the second grade, or about 7-8 years old. i’ve wanted to be a published author since the fourth grade (10 years old). i have yet to achieve that “published” thing, but i’m working towards it every day and am hoping to have something published somewhere by the time i’m 25 (or while i’m 25, i’m not too picky lol)

i’m a chronically ill lesbian who tries to include type one diabetic characters in everything i write and almost exclusively write queer characters.

i currently work in before and after school childcare, though i am in the process of finding a new job that provides me better stability as well as the time to be able to focus on my writing more. my hope is some kind of office job, or, even better, something in a library!

what kind of things do i write?

it honestly depends on the vibes, man. i’m happy to write (almost) every genre so long as i have a story idea that fits it that i want to write. however, i do have some common things that i tend to write more often than the rest, such as:

queer romance (usually the romance part is not the primary focus, though i do have a sapphic romance novel in the works)

modern fantasy

coming of age

found family

complex and complicated family dynamics

i also have a tendency to post weird little ramble-y thought pieces in random points in time (would it count as poetry? i honestly don’t know). if you’re interested to seeing any of it, my writing tag is #ariwrites !! i’ll add the tag to this post as well for convenience sake!

what projects do i currently have?

so, here’s the thing: i struggle with completing things and tend to have a bunch of new ideas and kind of leave old ideas in the dust. because of this, i’ve decided to take almost all of my current projects and scrap them? actually, scrap isn’t the right word - i’m starting from scratch with a majority of them! i think there are some ideas that i can actually combine into one story rather than them being separate, and a lot of it is just a kind of conglomerated mess that i am in the process of detangling in order to move forward in a more coherent and structured way. however, i do have two projects that i am not starting from complete scratch. i am remaking the outlines for these two stories, though, and then rewriting them from the beginning!

here are those two projects:

rotten

a zombie apocalypse scenario that i originally started writing as a nanowrimo project in 2022 that i did not complete. matter of fact, i only got a couple of chapters in before the spark fizzled out. however, i love the characters i have created and the bones of the story i had in mind, which is why i am choosing to restructure the outline and try again. it will likely change quite a bit as i remake the outline and iron out the details in new ways, but the basic breakdown of the story is this: it’s three years into an apocalypse that has left a mere remnant of humanity in its wake. we have a cast of four main characters (maybe six, depending on how you look at it). one is an older brother taking care of his siblings, both of whom have yet to reach double digits in age. one is a grumpy pessimist who thinks it’s pointless building bonds when everyone else she knew before is almost definitely dead and anyone else she meets will end up dead, too. one is a former optimist who has been weighed down by the realism the apocalypse has forced upon him, who hates being alone (being lonely) but has been betrayed by every single person he has come across since the fight to survive began, and he doesn’t really know what to do about that anymore. one was raised privileged and pampered by a paranoid and eccentric millionaire who was also absolutely certain that doomsday was inevitable (hey, turns out he was right!) and therefore raised his daughter teaching her every survival skill he could and preparing her for the worst, so she is, realistically, the best person to have on your side in an apocalypse—and yet she has been alone the entirety of the three years. all of them are queer and all of them will have to learn that they can rely on one another after stumbling into each other’s lives. also, despite only one of them being the older brother of those kids, the other three will eventually come to an agreement that they would burn the rest of what’s left of the world if it meant keeping them warm, so that’s cool, i guess.

hot chocolate

this is the sapphic romance novel i mentioned above! started writing it on a whim with literally zero plan for it last year, made it my camp nano project, and somehow managed to hit 30k words before the lack of preparation caught up with me. the title is a working title and might change upon the rewrite, but i absolutely adore this story so far and am very excited to get an outline busted out so that i can get back to writing it. the breakdown is this: mallory james moves in with her big brother when she’s eighteen. it’s the summer after her graduation and every single plan that she had for her future has been rendered pointless and now she’s trying to find her footing in a life that is completely different from the one she had been living only a few months ago. her brother, eddie, is going to do his best to be there for her and help her heal, but mallory doesn’t want to heal. she doesn’t even want to acknowledge that there’s anything she needs to heal from. unsure of what to do next, she enrolls in the local community college and meets a few people who somehow manage to become her kinda sorta friends — ellie, ash, and bee. featuring sapphic love, healing from loss and family trauma, finding stability and reason in an unexpected place, and a side character who is definitely polyamorous but entirely unaware that that’s a thing he’s able to be.

alright, i think that’s all i want to put here! i’ll definitely edit this with updates as information changes and as old projects become new again and things like that, but it’s a new year (the fact that i’m posting this in february is absolutely not important at all) and i’m trying to make ‘24 something worthwhile. if you’ve read this far, thank you so much and i hope everyone is having an incredible day/night !!

[nocandnc]

It bothers me that because ichigo likes him he can claim her on the 2nd date, kish and ryou both made similar statements and she was mad but when he said it its ok. Whether she likes him it's not ok for a man to say this on the 2nd date. Ichigo has no personality compared to the rest of the mews, he likes this so she going to like it, Aoyama does this she will do it too. Get a better hobby. I like precure because the romance is not about some girl who does everything a boy does to impress him. Have some self respect

I understand what you mean. There are definitely drawbacks to how the new series is approaching things which I didn't notice nearly as much in the first adaption. For one, while it's nice to show Ichigo in that 'looking for love phase' at the start and her friends helping her to find out more about her new crush, it all happens at breakneck speed. Either this all happened in the course of a day or two, or Mint was loitering around Ichigo's school for a ridiculous amount of time before giving her those tickets. We know how studious Mint is so I just don't see how it could be the latter, which makes Ichigo's feelings and development with Aoyama come off as extremely shallow.

Which isn't the worst thing ever, but... well, it sure is hard for me to get into. I do wish there was more time for buildup between them before Ichigo decided she was in so deep with Aoyama. More time for them to really get to know each other, and more time for Ichigo to really submerge herself in Aoyama's interests and make them her own.

Regarding the bell choker scene, I think it would have been great if they changed it up more for this new adaption. They clearly have no problem with changing details such as Mint's mew origins or Ichigo's age, so why not this as well?

My proposed change is: Ichigo could have been the one to ask for the bell collar instead of Aoyama deciding to put it on her.

The date could otherwise go the same - they look at the animals, Ichigo is nervous, Aoyama is nervous - Bu-ling appears (although I'd have preferred she got her own episode apart from Quiche for both their sakes), and the Chimera attacks - Aoyama panics as they're separated, and in his confusion of new emotions, lashes out at Ichigo for worrying him. He apologizes, and Ichigo gives him the benefit of the doubt in that he really was worried and didn't mean to be harsh.

Then she notices the bell collar in his hand, and asks if he would mind giving it to her. She has him put it on her, saying something along the lines of "Now you won't have to worry about me running off anymore, see?"

It carries the same meaning of Ichigo recognizing Aoyama's concern for her and wanting to reassure him, but it's done on her terms. She's the one making the decision, not just going along with something because it's what he wants for her. And good grief, just save the "you're my kitty" line for a later date, please?

I think something like this would have made a world of difference for me, but in the end the writers went with what they did and that's that.

I want to stress that while I'm not into the canon ship, I'm not aiming to insult anyone who feels otherwise. I may make my silly memes or have a few complaints in regards to how the anime adaption handles things (since I think they could be raising things up but are coasting instead), but I'm never aiming to shoot anyone down for liking a canon pairing. Like, I wish I could like it too! Good for you guys! It's just. It's not. The writing isn't working for me lol

[alynnl]

actually I want to know your thoughts on Legend of Dragoon too. And throw in Legend of Legaia while you're at it!

Oh my. It's been ages since I originally played either one but I'll answer to the best of my ability.

For Legend of Dragoon -

Favorite thing about that game: The dragoon spirits and their different abilities. Each one had different uses in battle and then there was the elemental rock, paper, scissors that led a player to target weaknesses, which is a JRPG staple. Also I thought the dragoon armor designs were cool.

Least favorite thing about that game: I guess it's the fact that I saw the whole deal with Shana coming from a mile away. I recognize both the childhood friend romance and the "person being key to a world ending event" tropes being key parts of storytelling in its time but I don't know. The whole "People as objects" (it's almost always female characters!) - puts me off.

Favorite character in that game: Albert, my man! I will admit to my younger self (14-15 years old) having a crush on him, but all in all he's just a decent person. He wants to be a good king and help others, and he's willing to pick up a lance and do the fighting himself if that's what it takes. Also I liked his bromance with Lavitz quite a lot.

Would I recommend it? Why? I don't know if I could recommend it now. The actual hardware to play it would be hard to come by, and I think a lot of the writing and the mistranslation would date this game quite a bit. But it does remain a fond memory of its time.

Free space to go off about something! Can Legend of Dragoon get a remaster? A remake? Something to bring it into the 2020s? I feel like it's becoming a bit of lost media at this point and it's kind of a shame! I'd like to experience it again with fresh eyes and a new perspective as an adult, but at the moment it's not possible!

Rating out of 10: 6/10. I don't remember hating it at the very least. Some of the characters and plot points were enjoyable but others I could take or leave. It's a mixed bag, but I still think this game is worth something because I do remember it well over two decades later!

For Legend of Legaia -

Favorite thing about that game: I liked the combos that you put in. It's similar to a fighting game (but you're not putting in the Konami code!) It was interesting finding out the different moves you could use, and even better when you added the Seru into the mix. Gameplay wise Legaia was very fun.

Least favorite thing about that game: Some of the battles are tough, especially in early game. You really have to be on your toes all the time if you want to win. This was a game in the era where they did not hold your hand, and it shows.

Favorite character in that game: Noa. I love her first meeting and then finding out her origin story later. And I also like her fighting spirit. She might have a simple understanding of the world because she was literally raised by a wolf/Seru, but she does come to know what love is and she wants to fight for it! I respect her writing for that.

Would I recommend it? Why? For the same reason as Dragoon, I can't recommend it solely because it's so hard to find now! But if money and hardware were no object, I would say go for it? The world building is solid, the storytelling simple but enjoyable and the music is quite nice.

Free space to go off about something! Same as Dragoon above but... can we somehow bring this game to modern hardware? I think that it would be a good addition to other classic JRPG collections that are included on consoles like the Nintendo Switch and the Playstation 4. I know I would definitely play it again if I had the chance.

Rating out of 10: 7/10! Cool world building, nice imagery, and gameplay that shakes up the JRPG formula. I also like the fact there's only three main playable characters, since it gives each of them more than enough screentime and development. (Even silent protagonist Vaan is enjoyable!)

[the-baschet]

#17 - Novel

Estée Baschet slapped her book shut as a job well read though a small frown colored her expression. The ending was every bit as satisfying and suspenseful as she wanted, nearly perfect in execution, but now... the story ended, mainly because the author died in an accident before finishing his next installment. In a sense, it became a true mystery complete with mysterious deaths all around so at least she could take some solace in that, so she told herself. It was enough to flip her disappointment to a lukewarm smile.

Somewhere between finishing up her last few pages until her ending thoughts, a faint recollection of Charlotte nagged her mind. Something about her being in the basement taking care of some matter. Clearly something the mother did not care for. But now was her chance; it was the perfect time for adventure. The mere thought of it had her beaming and humming in mild mischief.

So, carefully and quietly, she grabbed her fur-lined shawl, slid on her extra padded boots courtesy of her son, and slipped out the front door to make way for the Jeweled Crozier. The mother did, however, make time to write up the smallest note to keep her dear friend and housemaid from losing her marbles over her disappearance.

“I stepped out for a moment of much needed fresh air. Worry not, dear!”

The day decided to be kind. While the bite in the air remained ever present, the sun shone bright and fixed high in the cloudless sky. Its warmth sank into her weary bones, giving her the strength to stride along the stonework and feel normal again. It had been some time since she was alone in the city like this, it made her feel healthy again like she could do this every day. Mayhap she would, but for now, there were places to go and things to possibly buy.

Her pace quickened as the ambient voices around her coalesced and items jostling against one another grew louder. Excitement bubbled in her chest in a way that colored her cheeks and made her feel a little silly. Browsing the stalls, she looked for anything of interest but also happily settled for just window shopping. Though, bringing back a memento for the day might be nice. It would give her something to remember it by. There was a stand nearby that sold snacks and treats which had her briefly thinking to buy the gaelicat-shaped chocolate tart in hopes to allay Charlotte’s chiding for when she got back... A thought that soon came to life.

With one gift in tow, she sought another: one for Mattisaux. But what would he like? He was a man, a soldier some time ago, and a hard worker. She could think of a million and one gifts were he suddenly her daughter or if he wanted to be treated like the nobleman he could have been, but for a moment she was at a lost.

That was until she nearly passed her favorite bookshop. Estée’s eyes lit like a fire in the night, shuffling inside to find something, determined on this impulse. First, she grabbed a few books of her interest, placing them on the shop counter for later, then began her search for something that might spark his. However, now that she started looking, she struggled to remember if he even liked reading for pleasure.

Her sharp, blue eyes snapped from one genre to the next, but none seemed to scream his name. Sighing, she settled her gaze over romance. It was something that usually tickles most people, mayhap it might do something for him. So, she plucked one from the shelf, leafed through it to make sure there were no surprise dragons in there, and purchased it. While she was at it, she bought three other romances before continuing her escapade on the town. Should he like the first one, she would surprise him with the others. If not, it would be more books to add to the shelf.