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sonianvmd · 3 years

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thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

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scarletwidowaf · 3 years

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broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through. And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career. most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly"

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying.

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm.

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself.

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.

*rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

"Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said.

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it." You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked.

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus.

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually"

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating.

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage.

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance.

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly.

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard. luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen.

The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them.

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it.

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed.

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could.

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him.

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it.

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud.

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding"

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again.

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him.

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left.

Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place. most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not.

"You should go back to your table" you said to Florence

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

"I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later.

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass.

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job"

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up"

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed.

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do"

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pigh x female reader #florence pugh x fem!reader

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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

Text

fit by my side {Machine Gun Kelly}

@bitchylittleredhead said: Okay I hear your MGK x pastel!reader and I raise you MGK x Mother Nature!reader. Hella plants, strong love for animals, heckin soft, v kind, mom friend, sunshine child. (I just really really love soft paired with him, it’s so damn cute) also I love you I hope you are well 🧡

Also This Concept

A/N: 3177 words. Gender Neutral Reader (they/them) ! im worried kells is OOC. also there’s no smut but it does get M rated, but there’s no genitals specified. gets quite sappy at times. also @url-under-construction i hope u like it and i hope its good.

----

When you meet Colson, he’s famous, but he’s not, you know, famous famous. You meet on the set of The Dirt; he’s one of the stars, you’re a production assistant and stand-in when they need it, and you don’t think for a second that he’ll even remember your name when this is all over.

But he does; in rehearsals, you’re the one reading the lines for the characters they haven’t cast yet, and the first time the four main cast members see you, in your floaty, floral top, and your gentle aura, and then to hear you say, with absolute sincerity, ‘your mom’s a cunt’, it has them bursting out laughing. You smile, sweet and kind, and you step gently through the blocking that has the character you’re currently standing in for, stabbing Tommy - Colson - with a pen.

Maybe the juxtaposition of you taking part in this whole production is what intrigues him.

When filming starts, you’re still around, and something about seeing you, amid this performance of debauchery, and yet you’re still sincere and gentle, your choice of attire making you stick out like a sore thumb amid the leather and grime. At first, he tries to play it off, that you look somewhat out of place and it’s eye-catching, but you bring the cast food and water and whatever they need, you go on coffee runs, and take a genuine interest in each of them, and by the time he realises that his mood lifts every time he walks on set and sees you there, he knows he can’t play it off as you catching his eye for completely platonic reasons.

He asks you out the week after Casie leaves from visiting set, having seen you interact with her, entertain her while Colson was in hair, treating her with just as much kindness and respect as you did everyone else on the production. It convinces him that your intentions are true, and he knows that he can’t finish this production without shooting his shot.

By the time the wrap party comes around, you’re calling him your boyfriend, at first tentative, looking to him for confirmation, but then you see the way he beams at how the words sound when you say them, and you grow more confident each time you say it.

It’s met with... confusion.

Really?

It seems no-one saw that coming - if anyone, I would have expected Douglas - you hear, and frown.

“What does that mean?” You ask; a frown is rare to see on your face, but you’re wearing it anyhow, and the woman your speaking to splutters her way around a sentence as she’s trying to backpeddle.

“I just- I mean, well, Kells - Colson - he’s so... Doulgas just seems more... refined? Not that Colson not, you know- you’re just -”

“I’m just what?” You ask, not accusing, more curious than anything else, and the woman’s voice dies in her throat as she looks you over; pale blue jeans and a pastel, patterned button-down that would have looked right at home in the eighties.

“I’m just concerned for you,” she eventually says, laying her hand on yours like she’s trying to do you a favour, “Colson’s intense, I’m just worried you’ll get hurt.” You see what she’s trying to say, but her tone is so painfully condescending.

“I’m an adult,” you tell her, tone understanding but firm, “and I appreciate your concern, but I promise I can take care of myself.”

The moment you can get out of the conversation, you find Colson, talking animatedly to one of the makeup artists, and you slot yourself into the space by his side. Automatically, without even stopping the conversation, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, and you gratefully take the moment to press your face against him, wrapping your arms around him without saying a word. It’s both strangely intimate and familiar, his thumb rubbing small circles against your side.

As he stops talking, there’s a lull, and you don’t have to look up to know the makeup artist is giving you both a strange look.

“Ignore me,” your voice is muffled against him, using one hand as if to waive off any last bits of hesitation.

“They’re fine,” Colson assured, tapping you on the hip. He’s still oozing casual confidence

You’ve been together for almost half of filming, which isn’t exactly a short amount of time, but usually you try and keep things professional on set, so it’s nice to be able to be close to him in public.

The rest of the cast know, of course, you’ve been out with them on several occasions, and they all have come to adore you just as much as you adore them. Something about hearing Daniel drunkenly assure you that if Colson ever hurts you, that there’d be a line of people ready to slap some sense into him. You try to brush him off, endeared by his drunken affection, but he turns suddenly to the rest of the cast.

“Hey, hey, hey - who’d throw down for Y/N?” He asks; without hesitation, Douglas, Iwan, and Colson raise their hands, eyes wide and alert, as if the offer needed to be acted upon immediately. The show of support has your heart swelling in your chest.

You find yourself fitting into his life back in LA easily; while beginning work as an assistant on a Netflix original series, you call into his house in the Hollywood Hills, delighted to be privy to demos and snippets from his next album.

And you meet his friends, shake their hands and smile and chatter with them. They’re not sure what to make of you at first, no-one really is when you present yourself in conjunction with Colson, but soon they start to see what he sees in you. It’s endearingly genuine and thoughtful and honest and enthusiastic and -

“They’re like sunshine,” it’s Rook’s Instagram live, almost six months into your relationship with Colson, that really cements it to the public. Rook is smoking in Colson’s living room in the middle of the afternoon between recording sessions, and someone asked what your deal was.

“I’m so sick of - and I know Kells is, and Y/N too, not that they’d ever say anything. ‘ve never heard them say a bad word ‘bout anyone, you know,” Rook hits the blunt again, his face scrunching up, “but everyone ‘round here’s so fuckin’ sick of people talkin’ shit ‘bout ‘em. For real, Y/N is sunshine, nicer than all of you motherfuckers put together,” and he laughs, but it’s clear he isn’t entirely joking, “- you know what?” He asked, eyes lighting up and standing abruptly, grabbing the phone.

“Baze, man, you seen Y/N?” He calls, and Baze responds from somewhere off-camera that you’re outside. The comments are going off, but he pays them no mind, heading out to the backyard, only to see you by the back fence, peering over into the trees, on your tip toes, one hand straining over the fence, in shorts and a singlet in sunshine yellow.

Rook calls your name.

You shush him loudly, and then, without looking at him, slowly wave him over.

As he approaches, he can hear the telltale sound of a bird chirping, and as soon as he gets close, he hears you whisper -

“I think they’re bluebirds,” you murmur, and finally look back at him, lowering yourself, surprised to see his phone held aloft. He tells you he’s live streaming, you wave awkwardly, which is when he sees the slice of banana you’re holding, “I’m not sure what they eat; do bluebirds eat banana?” You ask, a little helpless, looking at Rook, and then to his phone.

After a moment, you step aside, and gesture for Rook to take a look over the fence, and sure enough there’s a nest with a single, rather sad looking bluebird with it’s wing bent at a strange angle, calling out pathetically, obscuring a few eggs, just out of arm’s reach. While he’s looking over the fence, also trying to reach them, and also trying to get the phone close enough to see if anyone watching the livestream could identify the bird or offer any suggestion, he hears your footsteps retreating.

“Stay there, I’m going to get Kells,” you call out to him, voice bright, “he’s got long arms!” And Rook bursts out laughing; you weren’t wrong.

While waiting, he sits against the fence and answers a few more questions, until he looks up and sees you, expression concerned, and Colson uncharacteristically fond as he lets you lead him by the hand.

You show him the nest and ask for him to get it, worried the bird was hurt, and he obligingly reaches over the back fence to gently collect the bird nest, trying his best not to jostle the bird. The bird’s wing appeared to be broken, and Rook ends the live when you mention that you’re going to take the bird to the vet.

Already, the fandom is exploding from what had transpired.

People are making suggestions as to what the birds should be named, people are claiming your caring and sweet personality is completely fake, people in the live managed to screenshot Colson’s expression as you’d lead him to the birds, how smitten he was with his hand in yours, and have started posting ‘get u a man who looks at u like kells looks at y/n’ all over twitter and tumblr.

“Bird update!” Several hours later, Colson posts a series of videos to his instagram story, “for those of y’all who don’t know, Y/N found a bird with a broken wing in a tree out the back of my place, we rescued it and it’s eggs, and took it to the vet,” and with that he flips the camera around, from a close up on his face, to show a large, cardboard box in the corner of the room.

Peep Davidson was written in large, black letters on the side of the box.

The rest of the videos are outlining what the vet had told you all, and that the bird should only take about seven days to heal before you could put them all back into the wilderness.

At that, he pauses.

“You worried about putting the birds back when you saw that cat the other day?” And he angles the camera to reveal you, laying with your head in his lap.

“The orange one?” You ask, voice heavy, as if he’d disturbed you when you’d been right about to fall asleep. You yawn, and he confirms, you give a little, lazy shrug and smile, “not sure where that cat is.”

“Fuckin’ hell, babe,” Colson laughs, “you gotta stop finding random animals in my backyard.”

“They find me,” you counter, and shift so you can press your face against his belly, humming contentedly as his free hand begins stroking your back.

“Snow White-Cinderella-Pied Piper motherfucker,” how that is somehow the softest, most gentle words to ever leave his lips, is utterly baffling, but there’s so much love and adoration but you turn enough for the camera to catch your delighted little smile, “you’re-” he starts, “who’s that dude from that, that My Hero shit we were watching the other night?”

“Koji Koda, you weeb,” you tease him fondly, knowing exactly who he’s referring to, and that’s where the video ends.

That’s the day it’s confirmed for the rest of the world. There’s countless paparazzi photos, and hints, and speculation, but this is the first time he’d called you anything but your name, and they’d all seen you snuggling up to him, your head in his lap.

This also is the day the trend begins on his Instagram story of a photo of you, usually in his backyard, with whatever animal had decided to befriend you that day.

My partner. My backyard. No fucking idea who’s animal that is.

And he still goes out and gets fucked up, and sometimes you’re there, and sometimes you’re not. When you’re out together, it still doesn’t quite make sense; he’s hard partying and over the top, and it seems like it wouldn’t be your scene at all.

But then there’s photos of Colson and a few of his friends standing on the edge of a roof, announcing that they’re Kings, and you’re by his side, smiling and waving at the person taking the photograph. He manages to get himself injured pulling a stunt at a friend’s house party, but you’re in the back of some influencer’s vlog, straddling his lap with tissues in your hand, him holding you secure as you clean up the scrape on his forehead; it’s kind of sickening how in love he looks, as he watches the way you concentrate. When you notice his expression, your own softens, and you lean in to give him a kiss.

And so you start to make sense, but people still ask why.

So when asked, you tell people that you support each other, and challenge each other, and yeah, that’s absolutely why you’re together, but it’s not the whole reason as to why you make sense.

Because no-one sees the way you hook your finger into his belt loop at the back of his pants at the house party, and you press a kiss between his shoulder blades, and he knows exactly what that means. He’s quick to make some flimsy excuse to leave as you step into place by his side, which everyone he’s speaking to immediately sees through. You play at being flustered, tucking your embarrassed expression against him as he slings his arm around your shoulders, and calls an Uber.

The drive back to his place has you both on edge with anticipation, his hands all over you in the back of the car while you try to hold a civil conversation with the driver. It’s killing you not to give in, but you know it’s worth it.

“You’re such an idiot!” You announced, grinning from ear to ear the moment you get into the house, before the door’s even closed, and he slams it shut to press you against it. Kissing him feels like a cathartic release, but after a moment you shove him back, loudly admonishing him for taking part of a stunt that got him hurt.

“You could have been seriously hurt!” You keep poking him in the chest to punctuate your words, and he steps back each time, expression alight, pupils blown wide. He keeps reaching out, as if to touch you, to snag your clothes, like it’s a game when you smack his hand back every time.

“Got a gnarly cut though,” he pointed out, as his ass hits the kitchen island. His legs open, making space for you, and you step into it.

“Gnarly cut,” you murmur, tone surprisingly derisive, and you reach up to push his hair back from his forehead. His head tips back, leaning into your touch, the look on his face almost dreamy even as you’ve got a hand on his hips, pushing him back on the counter.

Then you’re in his lap on the counter, hand fisted in his hair, lips on his neck, leaving bruises and bite marks. He’s trying to get you naked, efficient and desperate, but the moment he gets your shirt off, you push the fruit bowl behind him onto the floor, and push him back against the granite countertop.

“You were worried about me,” he smirks up at you, admiring you with your hands planted either side of his head.

“Because you don’t worry about your damn self!”

“Ooh, breaking out damn tonight? Must be serious,” he teased, deliberately riling you up; he loved this side of you just as much as the sweetness. Instead of responding, you reach up under his shirt and rake your nails harshly down his chest and stomach, delighting in the way he arched up at the sudden sensation, eyes falling closed.

With one hand still flat against his belly, the other comes up to cup his jaw, gentle at first, before your fingers move to caress his throat, and you press yourself against him.

“If you get yourself killed, I’ll kick your ass,” you whisper, lips inches from his as you press firmer against his throat. He grins, and sighs, the sound content and syrupy and so fucking into it, leaning up, to meet your lips with his, to feel the pressure on his neck just a little more.

And you bite, and you scratch, and you ride him on the kitchen island. The location is new, but the situation isn’t; once he’d discovered the righteous, sexual fury you’d been bottling up, he’d been more than happy to let you unleash it on him. Not to say that he didn’t give as good as he got; there’s been several times he’s had you swearing a blue streak, seeing stars, desperate and blissed out in equal measure.

But then there’s your dominant moments, the mean streak, and the teasing, the sting of your nails and your teeth and the way you push him around, into the mattress, against the wall without hesitation, and that he covets. No-one else is allowed to see you like that. To be tied up or blindfolded or or punished or pushed around, at your mercy, it’s as close to Heaven as he’s ever felt on Earth, because he knows without a shadow of a doubt that your heart is kind, that you’d never really hurt him in a way he wouldn’t like.

You make him feel safe.

And it’s not just the sex, you’re never dismissive of ideas or suggestions, seemingly always ready to help if he ever needs it, rather than judgmental. It makes him want to be there for you too.

He wants to be better for you.

Which is kind of terrifying to consider.

“I love you,” he tells you in the shower, in the afterglow, soft, pausing where he had been washing your back where you couldn’t reach. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but he felt like he needed you to hear them.

“Love you too,” you say around a yawn, though the words are as genuine as they’d always been coming from you, and you lean back against him, leaning your head against his cheek in a moment of quiet intimacy. You try to kiss him like this, but turns your face directly into the shower, and end up spluttering and breaking the moment.

Colson chuckles softly, stepping back and pulling you with him, out of the stream of water and into his arms so he could kiss you properly. You’re still giggling as you’re wiping the water from your eyes, looking at him with fond adoration. When you settle your arms around him, you quiet down and bask in the moment, his forehead coming to rest against yours, warm and safe in his embrace, sensing that, in that moment, he felt the exact same way.

#mgk #machine gun kelly #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk imagine #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #the dirt #the dirt cast #the dirt cast imagine #rook xx #douglas booth #daniel webber #iwan rheon #the angry lizard writes

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1990jeevas · 3 years

Note

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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tastyykpop · 3 years

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Will you do a dating headcanons for WayV? I love the 127 one!

Yayy I'm so happy you loved that one😌 its honestly one of my favs that I've written on this blog :)

ᴡᴀʏᴠ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴ

Kun

Possibly the only normal boyfriend in wayv

He actually treats you like the members because he's just so used to it

But he's nicer and more lenient

Though if you start acting up he just stares at you until youre like 'lmao jk~"

Everyone sees how whipped he is and are always making fun of him as he tries to ignore it

"Kuns a whore for y/n!!!"

"Shut the fUCK UP LUCAS!!"

Kuns always babying you too >:(

Just loves to spoil his baby for no reason

Would actually get the most expensive clothing for you just because you stared at it longer than 5 seconds

Aways says he can get you anything since he has the money and you're like "baby, no save up😀✋"

And hes like "baby, yes heres some clothes😀✋"

Kuns the type to actually bring you onto his insta lives whenever he's bored

So hes like "y/ns here again!"

But the thing is people watch his lives for you😐

Jk jk

Nah most fans are super supportive though

Hes only once called someone out for being rude and until then, no ones messed with you

Kuns lowkey scary

He can be very assertive when he needs to with you but its nothing too serious

You find it hot dont lie

Ten

Hes like a mix of haechan and jaehyun (if yall have read the 127 one)

Hes very touchy but won't hesitate to bully you

In a nice way shh

He wouldn't actually be mean :)

Buttt like if you did something embarrassing, hes gonna bring it up everyday up until you die

"This bitch knocked over a vending machine rip" hed say at you're funeral when yall are like 94

No but he's kind

And so cute around you

Calls you baby all the time

Thats like his thing

Imagine how he calls yangyang baby yangyang, now its baby y/n

Some members find his cuteness disgusting but you're like 😍🥰😘

Teaches you some dances no matter if you're good or bad

He'll also praise you for trying and doing a good job

Also sneaks in some touches because, like I said hes touchy

And clingy cuz why not

Hes always on top of you, kissing you, or just playing with your hair for the fun of it

If a member says something to him about it, he goes "ok and ? you jealous i don't kiss you like I kiss y/n?"

Just give him lots of attention cuz he's like a cat

Catboy ten is vibing

Winwin

Since he doesn't like pda too much, hes not going to do it a lot

He doesn't care if you initiate it though, in fact, he thinks its very cute

Sicheng knows its because you're a bit needy for his touch since he doesn't do it so he won't mind

Once in a blue moon he'll just walk over to you and kiss you suddenly

Then he steps away, blushing cuz he doesn't know what came over him

"Why did you get a kiss from him?? What the fuck!?"

"Because I'm his girlfriend, yuta🧍‍♂️"

"But did you marry him like I did? Didn't think so."

The amount of times his members actually glared at you because yall kissed is immaculate

But its funny cuz you made them jelly

Sichengs easily embarrassed by little acts of kindness or if you give him a small compliment

He laughs it off and puts his head down as he blushes but its cute asf

Bruh pinch his cheeks, like sometimes he's like 'oh fuck off' but most of the time he's like scrunching his face so adorably.

His patience is also pretty low so listen to him

Hes not afraid of showing hes angry or annoyed with you

His face just goes stone cold and you know your fucked up

Like wtf happened to the cutie that let you punch his cheeks

Other than that though hes a big baby boy

Lucas

Oh this goofy ass would be fun to date

Its just a bunch of laughing and giggling

You cannot even sleep in the same bed without wanting to either punch him or laugh

And though yall do laugh a lot, you're actually very madly in love with each other

Lucas is very nice and will not stand for anyone messing with his girlfriend

Hes possessive but not in a toxic way

Its more of him wanting to keep you safe

He'll also makes sure you both are happy all the time and if you guys need a break then you'll take a break for a bit

Moving on to some fun stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You and him have like daily rap battles

It goes back and forth in different languages and its funny hearing it

Members laugh every time Lucas goes "y/n...rap time!!!"

Another thing is Lucas can't keep his hands off you in anyway

Your hips? Free real estate

Your ass? His hands go there

The back of your neck? Seems like a nice place to grab every so often

Like he has so many places that he holds you by and its completely normal

Hes always saying stuff like "God, im so handsome." Then says "and you're so hot, no wonder why we are dating."

And you kinda just sit there like "yeah sure go off king🧎‍♀️"

There's no way he can go a day without complimenting you once

Its either your face, legs, ass, boobs, arms, hands, hair, this bitch could go off

And of course he expects it back, dont make him sad

"I complimented you twenty times today and I didn't get a compliment back what the fuck y/n😐"

".....you're hair looked really good today, I love the color."

"Oh my God really😳!? Thanks babe🥰, at first I wasn't sure i was gonna li-"

Just compliment him, it'll be ok

Xiaojun

The nicest person ever istg

Hes not normal in any way though but he's just really sweet

Will definitely make fun of you but not as bad as ten

Is such a bitch sometimes in a funny way

Just feels like complaining for no reason and you're like "i'm tryna watch a movie luv...."

Nah but he's amazing

Gets you a bunch of gifts whenever he feels like it

Sings for you if you ask

Jokingly says no sometimes just to see you pout but he'll do it regardless

Get him a gift and hes gonna refuse with the cutest smile while your just forcing it into his hands

Anything you give him is the most precious thing to him even if its stupid

Hes so in love omg

Bruh you guys in public is just adorable because this kid is shy but wants to hold your hand so bad

So hes like hesitating and so are you

Then bitch ass hendery comes in and grabs both of your hands and places it in each other's before he walks away with a smile

So now you're both walking with flushed cheeks but at least yall are holding hands

You can thank hendery for that

Hendery

My guy is a mix of loving, funny, and stupid

Hes so fun to be around though like there's never a dry conversation with him

Unless the room in awkwardly quiet or something

But then again you'd probably start laughing because he's so uncomfortable in silence

Is always lowkey judging you if you do something cute

Even though he asked you to do it

So you just glare at him after

Ask him to act cute and he'll do it without hesitation but its so funny

His eyes scream help but the rest of his face is normal

Omg yall compliment and roast each other on a daily

Its nothing too bad like how otherd would be but its something

You and hendery go shopping almost all the time even though yall don't get anything

You just kinda stare at the things saying "thats cute" then walk away, never batting an eyelash at it again

Some members would even say that henderys the same as he is with them, with you

Just more lovey

And more kisses

Ooo and hes also gentle

Especially if your just going for a kiss, hes always softly holding your hips or cheeks

Holding hands is an absolute must in public too or he fake crys

Actually let him cry cuz its hilarious to the rest of wayv and you

Jk no hold his hand cuz they're warm <3

Hes gonna swing his and your arm back and forth too while skipping because ✨priorities✨

You better skip along

Yangyang

Haechan but make him chinese

No seriously, go back to what I wrote in 127's headcannon and thats basically what's gonna be here

Except yangyangs less bratty

Don't get me wrong hes still a brat but not haechan level of brat

He'll dead ass let you sleep with him just to push you off and laugh at you after

Would go for a kiss then blow in your face

You guys are more of bffs though but not because you kiss and do other shit together

Pranks!!

Omg

Always pranking the members with him

Its the funniest thing if its on kun and no one knows why

Sometimes ten joins and its ten times better

Wait did I accidentally just make a ten joke-

Anyways

Yangyang loves holding you

But at the same time doesn't because too much pda

Don't worry doe you can always just catch him off guard and sneak some kisses to make him blush😗✌

Then let him tackle you afterwards because you did it in front of everyone

#this was kinda rushed oops😬#but i still hope you like it #nct #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct 2020 #wayv #wayv smut #wayv fluff #wayv angst #wayv scenarios

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virtual-luvr · 4 years

Text

˗ˏˋMary, Midari, and Runa with an s/o who is a ghostˎˊ˗

Pronouns: gender neutral; they/them

Warnings: cussing. mentions of death, murder, suicide and a g>n-

Note: request by @massivewolfpandaknight thank you so much i love writing for kakegurui especially these girls!! Also marys is longer then all the other ones sorry😔 i tried to have more fun with this request too so i hope its still good :(

-----------

Mary Saotome

First off, you met because of Yumeko

She was dragging you all over the school and at one point it was pissing you off so much you just decided to work your ~ghostly~ magic and get out of her grip

As shes lecturing you on acting normal, you're just staring at her with a black expression

"I dont see the problem"

"The problem is that we dont want everyone knowing your DEAD" she says ending her sentence with a sinister smile

It lowkey creeped you out

So you let out a sigh and give her a, "fine but dont drag me around like you did at our old school"

You actually died at the old school you used to go but you didn't have to stick at the school, you could go where ever

There weren't any boundaries lets say

So when Yumeko moved schools she dragged you with her and here you were now, pretending like you were still alive and not dead at all~

While you both were in deep conversation Mary came barging in asking "who in the hell is this bitch"

Sighing at her rude attitude you flick her forehead, your cold finger almost giving her a brain freeze and she stood in shock for a second.

"Who do you think you are" she says crossing her arms

What were you supposed to say to that, "a ghost???"

You mimic her actions and words in a high pitch voice

Yeah your relationship didn't start on the right foot

But hey after that whole meeting, you and Mary spent quite a long time together

Even though you fought a few times since her ego was so massive at the start of your relationship

But after a while she started opening up to you more and being nicer

Even going as far to be more affectionate to you and Yumeko noticed fast

Seeing as you were, very, oblivious

And didn't think anybody wanted to date you because you're a ghost, you thought nothing over her new actions towards you

At one point Yumeko just grabs you, brings you into a room, and tells you the truth

"Mary likes you, are you stupid? Oblivious or something? Go get her"

And as soon as you were in the room, you were out

As you stumbled out the door, Yumeko walking out calmly after you, Mary finds you

She looks between you and Yumeko, rasing her brow

Before leaving Yumeko says "no, nothing happened" winking at Mary and running away

You're still lowkey shocked at what Yumeko said

If you were alive, you'd probobly be blushing right now

"Heyyy Mary"

"What was that all about?" She asks, her cheeks puffed up a tiny bit

"Oh, it was nothing we were just talking"

"Didn't seem like just talking.." She mutters under her breath but you caught it

"Are you jealous??" You snicker out, getting closer to Mary step by step

As you walk closer and closer you basically have her pinned to the wall, blushing she just looks away from you

You smirk and give her a cheek a peck

She looks back with a shocked look on her face before giving you a smirk too

"Idiot, you missed"

Y'all kiss after that-

Honestly, she really doesent care that you're, dead-

She really likes when you pat her head or scratch her scalp since your fingers are cold

Flicking her forehead actually became a habit too-

You also have scheduled gambles and she gets mad at you if you say no sometimes

Midari Ikishima

To be honest, at first you wanted nothing to do with Midari

But she just kept on talking to you and annoying you

And even though the memory is blurry and hazy somewhere in between begging you to gamble with her and her being by your side twenty four seven

You started to get less annoyed by her

In the midst of starting a friendship with that girl you told her you were actually

And when you saw that glint in her eyes you got w o r r i e d

She almost tried to commit not alive on the spot

You screamed

Your reflexes were good enough and you took the g>n out of her hands

You tried to push her away but she fell on top of you in the process

Knowing her you knew she was going to say something that will not do good for you

So you panic and accidently go through the floor

You can hear her hit the floor even through the thick floor, it made you laugh but you wont tell her that

When you go back into the room shes actually knocked out

Did she really hit the floor that hard-

Either way you grab her unconscious body and take care of her until shes back on her feet

For once in your (after) "life" you see Midari calm

It was a very weird sight

She made you gamble with her once too

Never again.

You somehow one and she got too excited waiting for whatever punishment was going to happen next, she was on top of you at one point

You've also caught her in...compromising positions and you've ran out of that situation as fast as you could

She dreams of the day she can actually get you alone without you running away

It happened once, and that was the day you guys actually got together

She cornered you and you forgot all about your ghostly abilities for once

She pushes up to you and puts her face right in front of your face

"Why do you panic so much"

..what in the hell-

Since she's only met with your silence and your eyes aren't even meeting hers she gets a little impatient

She bonks you on the head with her g>n, not very lightly may i add

And as you open your mouth to protest she takes this opportunity to kiss you. After all shes been crushing on you for so long, not like you noticed though

You thought she chased everyone around

Im not going to act like the kiss went too smoothly, your teeth crashed with hers before you pulled away to give her an actual kiss

You grab her chin and give her a proper kiss this time, her g>n making a soft thud when it fell on the ground but you didn't pay much mind to it

After that she tries to kiss you as much as possible, sometimes more then kissing even when there are people around

Shes like one of those kids you have to put the animal backpack leashes, yeah you always need to check up on her before she does a disaster

When you joke about it she doesn't take it as a joke

So next time you see her at school with a leash in her hands you run away immediately

Runa Yomozuki

You guys met when she caught you trying to watch a gambling fight and didn't recognize you as a student there.

You guys met eyes and you just sat there like, "...hi :D"

She immediately starts questioning you, lollipop still in her mouth and you could barely understand half of the words she was saying-

When she notices you don't even care and you're just staring at the candy in her mouth she sighs and grabs another lollipop from her pockets

She hears you softly mutter, "i haven't had these in ages", shes a little confused

You just look up innocently and say, "oh im dead", when she gives you a questioning gaze

You're surprised when she doesn't start doubting your words-

She just goes "oh, makes sense" and walks away

You just sit there like, ?????

Also you might not have any taste buds

But you're still addicted to those lollipops

Anyways after that you make it your goal to annoy her as much as possible

And you do

For a few months actually

She usually shuts you up with a lollipop sometimes you annoy her by making the lollipop pass right through you

At one point she takes on a different method to shut you up and kisses your cheek, you sat there for a second and malfunctioned

She giggles at your reaction and does it a lot more

Doesent matter how many times she does it, you never get used to it

Your relationship kind of just blossomed

You guys didn't even notice any of it until one day you were staring at each other and kissed and you both just went "okay well we're dating now"

Everyone else barely knew about you so when they see Rona and you just kissing they're so confused

Rona doesn't even explain and you don't bother too either

She finds it funny

She giggles a little when you give her kisses since your lips are just as cold as you are

She now has to get even more candy since you both are obsessed and you steal her candy from her too

You pay back in kisses though

She likes it that way😌

She also likes to join you in scaring the students of the school

You guys do it in various ways but there are some that you like more

For example, sometimes she starts talking to someone and youll randomly appear right behind her and somehow that scares some of the students to death

Another one of your favorites is hiding behind a corner together and just waiting for people nearby and then yelling in their faces

Usually she goes first and after the person has calmed down you chime in and yell in their face too

[1699 words; aug/10/2020]

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unstoppableforcce · 4 years

Text

such a simple thing

pairing: Santiago “Pope” Garcia x reader

masterlist | song link | 7.3k

a/n: I was so happy with this when I finished that I kind of refused to reread it so I wouldn’t hate it lol, I checked for errors but not as extensively as I normally do, also formatting on this hell site was fighting me so I apologize if the italics for memories aren’t encompassing

I really enjoyed getting back into the song one shots so if you enjoyed this and want more, feel free to send in song suggestions and characters you want to see paired with them :)))))

Tell me what you’re feeling, I can take the pain

“You’re quiet tonight...”

Lifting your head from the racing drops of condensation running down from the lip of your bottle, you found the patiently awaiting eyes of Santiago. He dusted the sand from the blanket you were sat on and made just enough room for himself before sitting down.

“Got something on your mind or...” his words danced through the air just as a turn in the wind pushed the smoke from the bonfire back into your face, offering you the perfect opportunity to drop you stare back down the cold sand you buried your feet in. “Honey...”

“It’s nothing.” You hummed, twisting the base of the bottle into the sand.

He sighed, glancing back to the fire and the crowd of the boys and some of their other friends on the other side of it.

Benny was fumbling with a device to keep the lights of the few phone flashlights in his hand propped up and illuminating the corn hole boards. Will was actively mocking him while he helped, the two of them both making a show of their bare chests and tattoos to the surrounding girls. And Frankie... Frankie was somehow managing a amiable conversation with the group around him while tending to the fire, his girl right over his shoulder.

But you weren’t socializing like they were, you were over here, off to the side as the sun finally dipped just beneath the horizon of the ocean.

“Does this nothing have to do with mr. No Show tonight?” He mocked hesitantly, nudging his shoulder into yours.

You quirked your head onto your shoulder to look at him, your goosebump covered knees pulling into your chest. “I broke up with him this morning.”

“Shit...” he shook his head, “I’m sorry, honey...”

Shrugging your shoulders, you reached back for you bottle and took a sip. “You didn’t like him anyways.”

“I liked him fine, more than the last one at least.”

“He was nicer than the last one...” you hummed again, but bringing the bottle to your lip, you only found it empty.

And he offered his to you instead.

“Doesn’t matter how nice he is, you still broke up with him...” he countered as you took your first sip and crinkled your face at the taste.

The light coming out from where the sun had just disappeared was just enough to read the label but it didn’t do much to clear it up in your mind. “What is this?”

“I don’t know, some shit Benny bought.” He shrugged, mirroring you as you accepted your fate and brought the bottle back to your lips.

There were plenty of drinks left in the coolers by the rest of the party but neither of you were getting up.

“What did he do?”

You groaned as the disgusting drink made its way down your throat and shrugged, pursing out your lips. “He didn’t do anything.”

“So why’d you break up with him?” Santi asked, leaning back with one arm propped up into the sand.

“Because he didn’t do anything.” You scoffed, “even if I hadn’t broken up with him today, he wouldn’t have come out tonight, he never wanted to go out. Not with friends, not even just for dinner... I don’t even know, everything was just complicated with him.”

“Well I guess now is a pretty good time to mention that I don’t remember his name anyways.” He laughed, effortlessly pulling you into it with him. “But I am sorry...you deserve better than this.”

“Thats sweet, Pope,” you chuckled, hitting his shoulder as he dipped his head down into his lap, thankful the slowly darkening horizon hid the rosy blush on his cheeks. At least until you recoiled, your tone losing all of your teasing tone. “I appreciate it, really.”

“I mean it.”

If only you knew exactly how much he meant it.

My heart is like paper, yours is like a flame

Whatever shitty beer Benny had brought got better after a few more. And you and Santi slowly rejoined the party.

And after a few more, the two of you thought it best to slowly work your way out of the party as well.

“I’m driving you home...” he said simply, grabbing your hips as you began to stumble off course through the sand on the way back to the parking lot, your shoes in hands and his jacket over you shoulders.

“I haven’t had that many—“ you held up your hand, counting off finger by finger until you ran out of fingers. “Okay maybe—“

“Come on, honey.” He cooed, holding you tight as you nearly tripped over yourself again, spiraling into a laughter that he couldn’t help but mirror with his own.

It had always been like this between the two of you.

Overseas, in some makeshift hospital tent as explosions shook the mountains around the two of you, your hands remaining steady as you stitched up the small knife wound on his forearm. You’d crack some joke, it wouldn’t even be a good one, but it’d be enough to pull some laughter out of the two of you.

Enough to take the two of you out of your heads, enough to ignore the bombs and blasts at least for the moment.

Because as soon as they stopped, that meant he and the rest of the boys would be heading out again.

“You’ll be here when I get back, right?” He asked as you wrapped a bandage around his arm and pressed it down tight.

“Depends how long you take,” you added carefully, glancing up to him and pulling your gloves off. He quirked his head and you continued, “I’m shipping back to Germany, the surgical program, remember?”

The army was making you a doctor, and as he had told you every every time he ran into you in medical tents and facilities wherever he went, you were going to be a good one.

But he missed his chance with you then.

And since reconnecting with you back in the states, he spent a lot of time wishing he could go back to those small moments with you. This was as close as he could get to it.

Unless, your wandering hands as you pulled him back to his jeep meant something more than you were just tipsy and still sad about this morning.

“Honey, what are you doing...” he hummed as you pulled his hoodie off your shoulders and tossed it into the passenger seat, moving your back to the door as he followed.

“What are you doing?” You mocked back, reaching for his hand to pull him even closer.

“Im driving you home, what are you doing?”

“Trying to kiss you...” your hands found the front of his shirt and pulled him in closer until he could feel the heat of your chest against his through the fabric of your shirt.

Everything about you was hot, searingly hot. The tips of your fingers just burning into his the skin of his arms as you wrapped them around you.

He was on fire.

Hotter than the flames that provided the only light in the harbor parking lot, the ones emanating from the bonfire the two of you had just left and the ones surrounding it. Someone, maybe Benny, maybe one of the idiot friends from the gym he invited, was spraying lighter fluid into it, sending the flames sky high and still not coming close to as hot as he felt as you drew him closer.

He had imagined this before, not in a parking lot certainly, but in a bed... this idyllic bedroom he had in his mind, a part of this perfect house he used to dream about as he watched blood and dirt run down the drain in the shower. It wasn’t his house, he never really had a house and he certainly had never lived anywhere with a fireplace, but there was one in that house, lit up as hot as your current touch.

And the candles littered around the room burned equally as bright.

Everything was so quiet, and you were always so warm.

It was an escape from the gun fire or explosions that came close to blowing his ear drums out on many occasions. It was an escape from the fight and his role in it.

Except it wasn’t real. It was just what his tormented mind came up with to stave off the nightmares in his bunk, packed in next to other soldiers like sardines in a can. It was just a dream about the beautiful medic who stitched him up, time and time again, surely the rest of the boys around him were imagining something similar.

He used the mere image of you as a distraction, even long after his discharge. In the jungles of South America, in the room they had him wait in before they prepped him for his neck surgery...

It wasn’t real though, the memory of you in his arms in some perfect house.

But right now? Your arms leaving trails of flame and smoke up his arms to wrap around his neck and bring your lips dangerously close to his... It was real, and it was so much better than he could have ever imagined.

Until the smell wafting from your breath, as you moved your lips impossibly closer to his, hit his nose.

It smelled like that shit beer Benny had brought, and the few shots that Will had challenged you to. Then everything, even the scorching touch of your fingers over the scar at the base of his neck, felt like a mistake. A drunken mistake.

You didn’t know what you were doing. You didn’t even know how much you had to drink that night. But he did. He sipped on a few beers the whole night knowing he’d have to drive home and he knew exactly what was coursing through your veins as your hips nudged into his.

It was the breakup sadness from this morning, even if you said you were okay, no one got over it that fast. It was the liquor that was plaguing your thoughts, making you think that you wanted this, that you wanted him...

It wasn’t you. You didn’t want him. Not like he wanted you.

“Santi...?” You quirked you head, clearly sensing a change in his touch. And when he froze up underneath you entirely, you recoiled back into the car, seeming to realize what you were doing for the first time. “I’m sorry, I--”

“No honey, I...”

The heat of your touch was gone, turned into the goosebumps that electrified your arms as you pulled away, taking every minuscule feeling of warmth with you as you did.

He didn’t know what to say, but he tried anyways, reaching out for you because he didn’t know what else he could do, “no, honey it’s not--”

“Just take me home...” you said quickly, hoping into the passenger side of his jeep and crossing your arms tight over your chest.

I can’t make you see if you don’t by now

Santi was a fast driver.

Notably fast really, at all times, day or night. Not crazy, just fast.

But this slow crawl back to your house and up the driveway was all he could manage as the silence between the two of you settled over him, weighing down his shoulders as the chilling breezing whipped around his topless jeep, freezing him to his bones.

You hadn’t said a single thing the whole drive back and he wasn’t sure yet if that was better or worse than the alternative.

With his jacket over your thighs, covering up the shivering skin your denim shorts left exposed, you sat unmoving beside him in the passenger seat, your hands playing over themselves in your lap. He didn’t know how to read this emotion on you, he had just never seen it before.

Never once had you been so quiet in his presence, not unless he was counting the few times the two of you had been star gazing. But those times never felt like this.

Those silences were comfortable, warm even, as the two of you huddled up next to each other in his back seat, staring at the stars over head. Nothing needed to be said then, all you wanted to hear from each other was the sound of each breath and over the forest on the other side of you.

This wasn’t that.

This silence was a weight heavier than anything he had ever felt before. As metaphorical as that assessment of it was, he literally felt his shoulders caving in where he sat, one hand extended out to the wheel and the other resting on the stick shift. And the weight of all the defenses and excuses he wanted to make for acting the way he did felt even heavier inside his chest, but he feared you didn’t want any of them.

He kept his mouth shut and pulled smoothly into your driveway before putting the car in park and turning the engine off.

He had never had to be hesitant with you. Things were just easy.

He could put his arm around your shoulder, he could kiss your cheek and tell you that you looked amazing and it wouldn’t mean anything more than what it was. Platonic love.

Maybe what he felt was more than that, but what did that matter? He was sure you didn’t feel anything more than that so he kept it to that and just hoped you didn’t figure it out.

But you must have, right? You must have known there wasn’t something more to what he felt for you.

He didn’t drive the other guys home, he didn’t chat with them in the middle of the night when the couldn’t sleep, he didn’t buy them smoothies and meet up with them after the gym because he hadn’t seen them in a few days and that was the only time they were free... no, all of that, he reserved for you.

For the woman who had saved his life more times than he could count, for the woman he loved more than anything in the world... for the woman who just tried to drunkenly jump him and who he turned down--

“I’m sorry.” You said quickly, finally looking up from your lap to meet his stare, but just as quickly shifting it away to the shut garage door in front of you. Taking in a deep breath, you continued quieter than you had started, “This morning was... and I had to much to drink... and I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t apologize,” he tried to fight in a way that kept his heart contained in his chest.

But you kept going, “I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.”

You shouldn’t have. Right. He knew that.

You hooked two fingers into the door handle and threw it open, laying his jacket back on the seat as you hopped onto the concrete below you with a light thud. “Thank you for driving me home...”

“Anytime.” He fought back quietly, just loud enough to be heard over the gentle slam of the door shut. And as you retreated to your front door, sparing him a final glance over your shoulder, he offered a quiet, “Good night, honey.”

“’Night,” you added back with a wave over your shoulder before fishing your keys out of your pocket and unlocking your door.

He waited for you to get in, he always waited.

It didn’t matter what was brewing in his chest as he did.

I’m so tired I just don’t care

It was a week later and the same silence from the car ride home had continued to haunt the two of you, both of you unsure of what you could possibly say.

No texts, no calls, not even an email... he missed you and still couldn’t find it in himself to reach out.

Because what if you didn’t want him to. What if, after that night, talking to him was the last thing you wanted. What if you woke up sober the next morning and just found the whole thing embarrassing and didn’t want him to admit he remembered it all in excruciating detail.

What if he couldn’t see you again without mentioning that the crease between your brows looked even better up close as your face relaxed, your lips moving in for a kiss. What if he called you and couldn’t stop talking about the way your touch ignited a fire in his chest that had been stamped out and left unlit for decades. What if he saw you sober and made a casual move on you like he always did and you wanted none of that.

What if it was all just you being drunk and lonely and him mentioning it made it more than what It was.

He’d spent the whole week tiring himself out with every possible permutation of what he imagined was going on in your head and none of them made him feel any better. None of them came close to easing the tension his muscles seemed to be holding since he pulled out of your driveway that night.

He was surprised he could even manage to relax his hand enough to let go of the steering wheel when he got home.

The only outcome that he could imagine could ever possibly keep some semblance of normalcy between the two of you was to ignore it entirely, to act like he didn’t care or didn’t even notice something had happened.

And as it turned out, you had come to the same conclusion.

You greeted him at Benny’s next fight with a simple, “hi,” and spent the rest of the night with Frankie as a buffer between the two of you. At least until the break between the fights, when you went off to fetch a new drink for yourself and wandered back with a man trailing behind you, engaged in seemingly effortlessly conversation and laughter with him.

“You’ve got to stop staring at her, Pope.” Frankie muttered to him as he turned to place his body directly in Santi’s line of sight towards you.

All he could do was huff and return his hands into the pockets of his jacket, and Frankie didn’t seem to take that as an answer.

“What the hell happened after the bonfire, man?”

He shook his head, glancing away, back to the empty octagon for a breath before returning to meet his glare and realizing he wasn’t getting away without answering. With a sigh, he gave his best attempt at a convincing shrug, “I don’t know, nothing happened.”

“Oh, nothing? Really? That’s why Will tells me she called him for a ride home after a late shift the other night, the one you always used to pick her up after?” He’s careful to keep his voice down, but one glance over his shoulder told him you were far too interested in the man who was far too interested in you. “And you refuse to go with us to the baseball game Friday night after you found out she was going?”

You always called for a ride if you needed one. Sure, he planned to get you every Tuesday when they inevitably kept you late, but you always called to tell him when. And when you didn’t? Well, that was just the final nail in the coffin.

Ignoring it entirely was the only way it was going to end up okay in the long run, so he opted out of the game, yeah.

He wasn’t proud of the route the two of you were taking, but he wasn’t about to make it any worse by saying something.

“It’s nothing, just a bump. it’ll work itself out.”

Frankie let out a sigh somehow more exhausted than the one Santi had managed a few seconds earlier, but if anyone else had reason to be tired, it was the man with the one-year-old and two idiotic best friends.

“What happened?”

The funny thing was that Santi had told the truth. Nothing happened.

Your lips were inches away from his and absolutely nothing happened. The fact that nothing had happened was the problem actually, and the absurdity of that statement alone was enough to bring a veil of pure exhaustion over his body as he settled back in the seat.

The crowd was beginning to cheer again so the next fight must have been close at hand, but Frankie was still turned in his seat like Santi and whatever he was feeling was the night’s entertainment.

“You need to talk to her.” He argued in place of receiving an answer.

“She’d talk to me if she wanted to talk.” Santi huffed, rubbing over his face and fixing the cap over his head. “She always has.”

“Yeah,” He scoffed, “when she wants your opinion on other men in her life.”

Santi turned his head back to face him just as the crowd roared again, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re that man now, Pope, whether you want to admit something happened that night or not,” He sighed, reaching down for the beer under his seat and standing up as the rest of the crowd did, pulling Santi up with him. “My best guess is she’s going to Will for that advice now.”

He could pick your cheers out of the dozens around him, echoing around in his ears. Hell, he could pick the faintest sound of your voice out from stadiums away; he felt tuned to it. So when you got particularly rowdy, he knew he would turn away from Frankie’s stare and find Benny entering, shoulders bouncing and ready to fight.

He just couldn’t. Not with the weight of Frankie’s words hanging around his neck.

“It’s complicated,” he tried to defend, wielding the word like it was some sort of excuse.

“It never has been before with you two.”

With that, they both turned back to the spectacle in front of them, Frankie beginning to cheer along with the crowd, but Santi couldn’t muster the breath just yet.

Because as he looked back to you, spotting you just over Frankie’s shoulder, the man you were with already had his arm around you. And by the time the fight was over, you were already heading out with him, stopping by Will briefly, probably to ask him to pass on your “congratulations” to Benny, then leaving entirely.

There was nothing for the two of you to talking about. There were no what ifs.

You were sad about your breakup and drunk off the shit beer Benny brought. He was just a rebound, a move of last resort or something like it.

You didn’t burn for him the way he did for you.

If you did, he would’ve at least gotten a goodbye.

Can’t you see how much you hurt me?

The one night he isn’t awake at 3 a.m. is the night his phone rings.

Just the gentle buzzing on his nightstand at first, something he was barely cognizant of as he lifted his head from his pillow, a trail of drool following as he blinked his eyes open to read the exact time off the digital clock. Then his home phone began to rang, the shrill tone piercing the peacefully silent air of his whole house and rocketing him out of bed in an instant.

It was Frankie, on both lines, calling frantically, and that was the last push he needed to fall out of bed and find a worn pair of jeans on the ground and a mostly clean shirt from atop his hamper.

His mom had called him and woken him up much the same way, saying his father was in a car accident and that, while he would probably be okay, she was rushing to the hospital now and he needed to do the same. Which was no problem except his girl was out of town for work and he had a one-year-old asleep in her crib who would need to be fed in a hour.

“I can be there in two minutes, just let me find my keys.” Santi assured him and the sigh of relief that fell from Frankie’s lips over the phone was astronomical.

“Thank you...”

And it really was two minutes despite being a five minute drive. Santi was a fast driver.

Though, in parking at the curb and jogging up the few stairs of his porch, he found he wasn’t the first one there. Stood against the unfinished planter box in pathetic pajamas, a cardigan wrapped tightly around yourself and socks with lemons on them tucked into slippers was you, tearing his heart out just by being you.

“He called you too?” He asked carefully, the first thing he had really spoken to you in weeks.

You shook your head though, “no, she called, said ‘Fish called her frantically and would need the help.”

“You already knocked?”

The look you shot him clearly said ‘what do I look like to you? an idiot’ but he knocked again anyways. It gave him something to do besides stare at you in your adorable sleepwear.

And before he could bring his fist down for the second half of his knock, Frankie frantically pulled the door open and ushered you both in to the kitchen where he was fussing with bottles, the fridge door wide open.

“She’ll need to be fed when she wakes up, that’s usually in an hour and I should be back by tomorrow but if you have questions, you can call either me or--”

“Frankie, calm down, we’ve got this.” You said, your voice barely waking up out of its raspy morning drawl as you walked around the counter and laid your hands gently over his to get him to stop.

Glancing to Santi with the same crazed stare, Santi offered a similarly calming sentiment, “We’ve got this, go, don’t worry.”

That seemed to be the last reassurance he needed, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, grabbing his hastily packed backpack off the floor, wrapping Santi up in a big hug and leaving. Leaving the two of you in complete silence besides the gentle hum of the baby monitor left sideways on the counter next to the mess he had been busy with.

And the silence was no good, not since Santi had spent so much time brewing in it in his own house, thinking about you. Now you were four feet in front of him, just a kitchen counter between the two of you and he had to open his damn mouth.

“You can go, I’ve got this if you want to head home.” He shrugged like it was nothing.

Your face didn’t react like it was nothing though.

Your arms crossed back over your chest with your loose cardigan puddling around your arms, let out a hefty scoff and jutted your hip out all in one go. “I’ve got this, you should go home.”

It was the feistiness in you that he loved, he just didn’t love it in this one moment. Because it pulled something ugly out of him, something he didn’t like but was powerless to stop as the words bubbled out of his throat.

“Honey just go, I’m sure you’ve got someone waiting for you at home anyways, so just go.” He argued, like it made all the sense in the world to say.

It didn’t though. Not as it left his lips and certainly not as your face twisted into deep confusion, the crease in your brow furrowing before pure anger took over you, unlike anything he had ever really seen from you.

Across your chest, your hands turned to fists and you didn’t let him escape the fire of your stare. All you let out was one fateful word as it slipped past the lips that had tried to kiss him just a few weeks ago.

“Wow.”

He tried to fight it back, “that came out harsher than I wanted it to--”

“Really, is there a softer way you meant to slut shame me, Pope?” You scoffed again, shaking your head as he stumbled for a grasp on the right words.

“I didn’t mean to--”

“No, I think you did--”

“Honey, that wasn’t what I meant--”

“Stop calling me that.” You said definitively, getting his babbling to stop, his whole disposition shifting to that of a hurt puppy at your words.

He had always called you that. Always. Since the day he met you and never once, no matter how many egomaniacs you dated that felt threatened by your friendship with him or how many times you tried to ditch the group to meet someone new at a bar, never once had you told him to stop calling you that.

But before he could fight it, the baby monitor released a muffled cry from where it was downturned on the counter and you quickly reached for it. Again, a cry echoed out of it, the blue light meter signaling significant noise while the both of you just sighed.

“I’ve got her--” he tried to get out, moving to the hallway back to her nursery but you held up a hand to stop him in place.

“I’ve got her, you should just go.”

“Please--”

“Go, Santi.” You added, your tone much harsher as you disappeared down the dark hall, your steps turning to tip toes before he heard the door creak open and the cried become even more apparent.

He didn’t go though. He couldn’t leave after his best friend called him to watch his baby during a family emergency, whether he was fighting with you or not.

He walked with careful steps into the kitchen and pulled one of the prepared bottles out before sticking it into the microwave to warm it gently. By the time you came back out with a quieter but distinctly awake little Mia settled on your hip, he already had it ready to go, passing it to you with one of the soft towels lying around.

“Hi, Mia.” He said softly, stroking one of the tears off her cheek.

She giggled lightly at that, she always did have a soft spot for Tìo Santi.

You, maybe not so much now as you accepted the bottle and walked her over to the rocking chair set up in the living room. He followed sitting back on the couch next to you and the silence remained.

For the whole rest of the night, it remained. You took Mia back to bed after a while and came back out into the living room, claiming the loveseat across from where Santi had now laid out on the couch and keeping the silence.

A cold and painful silence. His heart burning in pain the whole time.

It’s like I wasn’t there

“Do you know where we are right now?”

Settling into the seat next to Santi, Benny took up as much room as he possibly could until Santi just couldn’t avoid him. He had his arm over his shoulder, his knee nudging into his, his foot rest on the ring beneath his bar stool and his face in his.

Impossible to ignore.

“Yes.” Santi answered stubbornly, pushing his face away so he could grab his fresh drink from the bartender.

“It’s a bar.” Benny told him despite his answer and Santi nodded along, still confused. “It’s a bar where we’re having a party.”

“Benny I--”

“My brother’s birthday party.”

“Yeah, I know, I--”

Benny put his hand over his mouth and shook his head, “No, listen to me. You are at a party, a birthday party, and you are sitting alone, not having any fun just because the woman you’ve been in love with for a fucking decade is here.”

Santi didn’t get a response with Benny’s hand still over his mouth, so he had no opportunity to even mount a defense. Not that it would’ve mattered, Benny had eyes and there would be no convincing him he was wrong, especially as he continued.

“She’s beautiful, she’s smart, she’s saved your life more times than I can count and look,” he casually swung Santi’s head toward the pool table where you and Frankie were battling, “she’s all alone here tonight in the hottest dress she owns--”

That was the final straw. Santi pushed him off of his shoulders and made sure to get his hand away from his face, all with a practiced precision that forced Benny’s hands into a show of surrender. He raised them even higher as the rough cut of Santi’s voice broke out again, “You don’t think I noticed what she was wearing?”

“She came here alone.” He added, accentuating every word like that wasn’t the second thing Santi had noticed when you came into the bar they rented out.

“So what? So she can pick up another guy here--”

“You two are such fucking idiots,” Benny cursed out, stealing Pope’s drink for a sip before he fought for it back and ushered for him to continue. “She knows everyone in here, she’s not trying for some meaningless hook-up, she’s trying to catch someone’s attention.”

“Or she just wants to look good for herself--”

“Pope, you absolute fucking idiot. That is the dress. THE dress! The one you she wore on her birthday last year and you said ‘now if you’re ever looking to catch someone’s attention, that’s the way to do it’.”

He let his stare shift back to where you were bending over the table, trying to line up a shot without succumbing to the laughter spurred up by the group around you.

It was that dress.

How Benny remembered it so well, well he didn’t want to ask. All he knew was that he was right. It was a slip of black that flowed over your body beautifully, with a low-cut back and slit up your left leg.

If he remembered correctly, which he knew he did when it came to you and that night, he actually had said, “Oh Honey, did you wear that all for me?” with a joking intonation.

Only you responded with a little twirl and laugh, “Why? Do you like it or something?”

Shaking his head, he pulled you into a burly hug, spinning you slightly with both his strong forearms wrapped around your waist. He followed that up with a quick kiss on your cheek and pulled back to show you a smirk he just couldn’t wipe from his lips.

“If you ever walk into a room wearing that and it doesn’t catch my attention, you’ve got to shoot me, honey, because that’s not the real me.”

It wasn’t as coy as Benny’s memory, but in his head, you just laughed and shook your head, dragging him and Benny, who hadn’t gotten nearly the hello that Santi had, into the restaurant behind you to where Will and a few of your friends from the hospital had already secured a table.

“Now,” Benny leaned back in, interrupting the memory that played through his head as he continued, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but ‘Fish seems to think that you think she’s not into you and I just wanted to use this opportunity to remind you that A. that’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard, and B. this is my brother’s birthday party, so whatever happened needs to not be happening here, because you’re killing the mood with all this sulking.”

And that finally pulled a laugh out of his throat.

Benny just naturally had that effect, changing even the sourest moods into something better.

With a hearty slap to his shoulder, Benny left Pope at the bar with his drink and returned to the group he had been chatting withe before, but turning back one last time before he made it to point to where you were playing and give a wink and thumbs up.

But you were playing and having fun. If he was going to do this, it wasn’t going to be now, not If he had to pull you away from your fun to do it.

Taking his drink, he followed Benny to his table to ease back into conversation instead of drinking his sorrows away, and when he saw the party begin to die down an hour later and the dancing began to slow down on the small dance floor, he finally crossed the room to you. And with one look, Frankie said goodbye to you and pulled his girl onto the dance floor where Will was with his girl.

Then it was just you and him, and finally, the two of you couldn’t ignore each other for any longer.

Tell me what your heart wants

“Hi.”

Good, at least that was a start.

“Do you want to--”

“I just want to say--”

The two of you can’t talk to each other for how long and now you can’t not talk over each other... the irony was not missed by either of you as you both stole brief chuckles.

He just overcame his nerves before you did, and got his question out first.

“Do you want to dance with me?”

His hand hung in the air, extended out between the two of you, colder than it had been even while wrapped around his glass a few minutes ago as you just stared at it. If you said no, he was pretty sure that would be the end of things between the two of you. He just couldn’t see a way back from that.

But instead, you slipped your molten-hot fingers into his and gave him a gentle nod.

He dragged you backwards from the pool table to the relatively empty dance floor, stopping briefly as both your feet found it to offer you the chance to leave, but you didn’t. You stepped up, one whole step closer to him and placed your free hand on his shoulder, his other hand slipping down the effortlessly smooth fabric of your dress to settle at your waist.

And like those nights when he took you star gazing, the silence was natural for the first few beats as the two of you began to sway with the slow song Will had obviously requested. It stayed that comfortable too, at least until you finally turned your head and made eye contact with him.

Then he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I don’t know how it went so wrong so fast, honey-- I’m sorry, I just...” the breath he collected for the sentence fell away as you watched him try and catch it again. But all he could muster was another apology, “I’m sorry...”

As you shook your head, you gave his hand a tight squeeze.

“You’re my best friend, Santi, I didn’t mean to ruin things. I just had too much to drink and I was feeling lonely and...” you trailed off and his heart stopped, his face moving back into your distracted line of sight, all but forcing you to continue. “I never feel lonely around you, so I did something I shouldn’t have--”

“No--”

“Santi, this is my fault--”

“No, I wanted to kiss you and I’m the one who ruined it.”

Your stare shifted up from the chain around his neck to his eyes with a hopeful glint. “Why didn’t you?”

He shook his head this time, glancing around the floor to see the other couples too caught up in each other to even realize what was happening between the two of you.

“You were drunk and I thought I was just going to be your rebound... I didn’t want you to do anything you would regret...”

The sigh from your lips was the embodiment of the relief he felt at seeing the tension fall out of every muscle in your body, even your grip around his hand and his shoulder felt looser, much more like the version of you he knew and loved.

“Why didn’t you just say that...”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin anything. You’re my best friend too and I was afraid if I opened my mouth, the right thing wasn’t going to come out... like at Frankie’s that night with Mia... I didn’t mean that, I don’t even know why I said it... I just... you mean too much to me honey, I could’t lose you.”

The words flowed from his lips, barely processing through his mind as he held your stare. It was everything his heart wanted to say that night and he finally had the courage to drop the gate and let it all come out.

Because keeping it shut was losing him you. And he couldn’t lose you.

“When did this all get so complicated...” You chuckled with only half your heart behind it as his hand at your waist tugged you into him further.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he defended, “we can keep it simple.”

“Simple?”

“Yeah, just the basics.” He said softly as you leaned your head forward onto his shoulder.

“What did you have in mind?” You mocked somewhat as he pulled his hand intertwined with yours up to his lips and left a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“We start with the fact that I’ve been in love with you for over a decade and go from there.”

You lifted your head from his shoulder and stopped your swaying immediately, and he froze like had the second he smelled the liquor on your breath after the bonfire. Only this time, you didn’t pull away or drop your heated touch from him.

You just brought your lips to his and this time? He didn’t hesitate.

Like a match lighting a fireplace, like the burning heat from a bonfire or the warmth from a candle, flames erupted inside his chest, scorch trails tracing back from his heart to every point of contact with you. Your touch on his shoulder switched to his neck, igniting a trail of gunpowder up to his hairline. Your grip in his hand held tight and tingles ran down his forearm like a grenade had just gone off in your shared grip. And your lips...

Your lips were the sun, burning hotter and brighter than anything else around, the perfect embodiment of what you were to him.

He couldn’t pull you in tighter if he tried. The hand at your waist gripped into the silky fabric of your dress and pressed and pressed until your chest was flattened against his and every inch of you was a point of contact, sending every molecule of his being up in flames.

What a way to go.

And when you pulled back, desperate for a breath of oxygen before you could stoke the fire again, you sighed out a gentle, “I love you too.”

His eyes opened to find yours waiting for him, your forehead pressed into his and lit up with what had to be all of the light from every burning star in the galaxy.

“What’s your favorite constellation?” He had asked somewhat mindlessly all those nights ago, the two of you in the back of his truck, necks angled so that all you could see was the sky as you star gazed.

“The big dipper.” You answered, equally as mindless.

“Wow original,” he mocked easily, “why?”

You shrugged, your shoulder hitting his as it did. “Sometimes the simplest thing is the best thing.”

He had made some kind of joke about whatever poetic moment overtook you there and then, but he wasn’t joking as he gazed into your eyes now.

He loved you and you loved him.

Such a simple thing

tags:@itsamedeemoney @pizzahutmonkeybutt @poesflygirl @aellynera @mandolovian @phoenixhalliwell

#santiago ‘pope’ garcia x reader #santiago garcia x reader #such a simple thing #fluff #soft #sad #triple frontier

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

#asky #careposting

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kyunsies · 3 years

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madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

#asks #💥 anon

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gender-chaotic · 4 years

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Yknow i love me nasty, smelly, gross, asshole beej as well as him being redeemed, loving and being a big softie for his new found family, over all making him a big softer.

I want a nice healthy dose of both when it comes to beej and i wont deny when people clean him up and look him look thin and conventionally attractive/sexy it does really annoy me, but certain people in this fandom are acting like canon musical beej is this big weak baby who canonically woobified from the other versions of beej because people in the fandom are woobifying themselves. Yeah musical beej is still nicer, more sympathetic, softer in this canonically he still is disgusting, smells, looks gross, is a pervert constantly making dirty jokes flirting/harassing with adults, attempted to murder multiple people. If you dont like the musical fine, cool, you have a right to and im sure there are valid reasons to not like it, even as a fan i can see why people might now like it, but some of these takes of the musical and musical beej himself are pretty bad and some of the same people prefer cartoon and/or movie beej.

I dunno about you guys but cartoon beej is literally just the spooky version if the genie from Aladdin or cosmo and wanda i know people have compared musical beej so these things but cartoon beej is literally a children's version of beetlejuice. Of course in his universe He's still dangerous and a pretty bad/nasty guy i mean he's universally hated in the neitherworld but he just like musical beej he's clingy, emotional, soft for the few people he cares about, lonely, ect. The cartoon and cartoon beej himself are way more divorced from the movie canon than the musical is tbh.

Musical Beej is basically a fusion of movie and cartoon beej and you can boo me but im right and its strange to me how people complain about musical beej ruined beej or whatever because he's softer and a little more sympathetic despite the fact he literally shares quite a few traits with movie and cartoon beej. Obligatory not every verson of a character is going to be the sane and changing things up keeps things fresh. Sometimes its really really bad but musical beej seems like the best parts of movie and musical beej with a few new ideas to shake things up and as someone who is a abit older in the fandom and who grew up with both movie and cartoon beej and love them both as well as mucial beej i like what they did with the musical and how they portrayed him.

The fandom and younger fans maybe be woobifying and babying beej but actual canonical Musical beej is still a disgusting, nasty, asshole and making him a but nicer, softer,sweeter, ect. Wont ruin his completely as long as you can do it right and now infantilize and woobify him too much. I think some of these people have some actually good criticisms about musical beej and the musical and again if you don't like the musical fine but theres a difference between fanon and canon interpretation and i think some of these bad takes about musical beej comes from a place of bias.

Lastly just like you don't have to like the musical and musical beej people are allowed to dislike the movie and movie beej as well as the cartoon and cartoon beej. I want everyone to give all 3 canons and beej's love and appreciation including the older canons but people are allowed to dislike certain beej's or certain canons it doesn't make them some kind of "tourist" or "fake fan" its their preference i love all 3 but some people don't and thanks okay.

Edit: oops sorry one last thing. conventionally attractive, bishie, completely woobyfied does suck but stop acting like this is new I've seen people draw beej like this back in middle school back when i used to search deviant art for beetlejuice art. The musical is attracting more people so of course you're gonna see it more and condensed in one place since alot of the fandom hangs out in the same few sites. Not to mention acting like all new fans/musical fans are woobyfing beej or ok with doing this stuff is just wrong i see plenty of these fans making nasty, dirty, gross beej warts and all you just gotta find the right content .

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice the animated series #beetleguise #beetlejuice the cartoon #oops opinion time #sorry this is long....#discourse #fandom discourse #beeltejuice discourse #discourse 2939929292 #its kinda obvious this is moatly about certain people im the fandom but im not even gonna say ut #mostly*#long post #long post 3939393929 #sorry for the length rambling and any mistakes in this #lets just say beej js a nasty disgusting dude but he sure as hell doesnt diddle kids #this goes for all canons #:)

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eloarei · 4 years

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tl;dr and TW: I had a miscarriage (and an ER visit)

So, I haven’t been on tumblr for a while. Let’s see how long. ...Three and a half months. Basically, I haven’t been on since a little before I found out I was pregnant. See, my birthday was January 28th. My last period had started on New Year’s Day, so I was slated to start again on my birthday, and I just kept thinking, “gosh, I would really like to not be on my period on my birthday!” Well, I got my wish. A few days came and went, and I thought, “okay, I’m pregnant.” This wasn’t an overreaction; I’d never been more than 3 days late in the past few years, and I just... felt it. I took the test, and lo and behold, it was positive. A ‘dye-stealer’, even. (A strong positive, where the positive line ‘steals’ all the dye from the control line.) (I’ve spent a lot of time on pregnancy forums; I’m familiar with a whole new world now.) I was happy. Mostly excited, mostly not scared. My husband was the same. We’d been married for 12 years with no kids, no prior pregnancies, and I’d thought for a few years that I probably did want kids-- it just... never happened. We were too careful, until we decided not to be. (Even then, we weren’t trying. We just let things do as they would.) The next 6 weeks were interesting. It was... neat? Neat to feel all the minute changes. Every day I was so aware of my body and what was happening to it. Even though I was almost not showing at all (I could see a slight difference; nobody else would have), I felt so big, and I was exhausted, but it was kind of fun. It was fun thinking about having an October baby; maybe its birthday would end up on my husband’s, or my old bff’s. Maybe it’d be 10-15-20. I thought that would be cool. And I thought about names, about how we’d arrange the house, how we’d afford everything when we have such a habit of just squeaking by. I felt we were up for the challenge. But I read a lot of information. SO MUCH information. So I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work out. After all, roughly 1 out of every 4 known pregnancies ends badly. And there was no reason why I should miscarry, when I was healthy, and my family didn’t have a history of common miscarriages. But I wasn’t stupid, and I’ve never been the kind of person to say, “it won’t happen to me”. I guess I was lucky that I read so much, that I knew things could go wrong, because they did. Even so, I wasn’t entirely prepared. I started bleeding around week 9, so I read an absolute ton about miscarriages. They all said it happened pretty quick-- maybe a few days of light bleeding before the ‘big event’, and that the event itself was painful-- AT LEAST like heavy period cramps. When I continued bleeding for over a week I thought “...maybe it’s not a miscarriage?” I read some more and determined it could have been a subchorionic hemorrhage-- bleeding in the uterus that is usually not fatal to the baby, often characterized by period-like bleeding: long, slow, not very painful. The whole time I was trying to find a place to get an ultrasound. I don’t/didn’t have a doctor of my own, a primary care physician or an obstetrician. I’ve never really done doctors. Figured I’d wait until about the second trimester to find one, since my readings told me a lot of doctors waited til week 10+ for the first appointment anyway. Unfortunately, all the clinics I talked to wouldn’t deal with me when I mentioned I had some bleeding-- even though it was just a little bit! Less than a period. “Go to the ER”, they said, to which I responded that I absolutely was not going to go to the ER for a non-emergency when hospitals were stuffed with coronavirus patients. Therefore, I just waited while I kept looking, hoping it would sort itself out. In a way, it eventually did. Monday morning, as I was about to go to sleep (I work nights), I had some slightly heavier bleeding. Thought it might have been another small clot. Sat on the toilet for an hour before I felt woozy and decided to lay in the tub before I passed out. Thank god for my husband, because I don’t know if I would have survived the next several hours without him. HERE’s the TMI >>>>>>> I continued bleeding for the next three hours, my husband pouring warm water on me to wash all the little clots away. After a while, I passed a huge clot, size of an egg. Ever done that science experiment where you use vinegar or something to dissolve an egg shell and you’re left with just the innards in a flexible membrane? Well it was like that, but blood. I passed out a little while after that. ....That’s when I knew things were getting weird. It was my second time passing out ever, and I hated it. I think it’s literally my least favorite thing in the world. 5 seconds that feels like an eternity and it feels like you’re going to die but you can’t explain why. Terrible. I still thought maybe we could get through this. It didn’t hurt, it was just... well, losing blood. It was within the realm of what I’d read about subchornionic hemorrhage, so I thought maybe that clot was the worst of it. HMM, I was wrong. I passed another one just like it. Then I passed out twice in quick succession, upchucked all over myself (the smell haunts me, ugh), and apparently turned rather blue. So I told him, “hey, it’s time for the ER”. Boy, that was....... a thing. He called his mom because I said I didn’t want him driving and for me to pass out again when he couldn’t help. I swaddled myself in towels and garbage bags so I wouldn’t bleed all over the damn place, all the while feeling like I might just die at any moment. When we got to the ER, they put me in a wheelchair, asked me some questions I could barely answer, and then took me back. The next 24 hours consisted of being stabbed, suctioned, and pumped with 5 liters of saline solution which left me smelling weird. I was barely conscious for the first half of it, but talking and joking whenever I could-- because apparently that’s how I deal with stress. Anyone surprised? Anyway, they quickly confirmed what I knew as soon as I passed more than one ungodly egg-clot: it was a miscarriage. They removed what was left; I didn’t look at it, but my husband said there... wasn’t really much. Nobody did any analyses, so I’m left to surmise that it wouldn’t have been more than 6 weeks (or possibly anembryonic), meaning it was just in there for 5+ weeks by then, doing nothing but accumulating blood. Insult to injury much? The biggest strangeness of the whole ordeal, the reason why I didn’t expect it was a miscarriage in the first place, was that none of it hurt. Every story I read said it hurt, but this just felt... awkward. I mean, passing out wasn’t fun. Sure as hell didn’t feel comfortable, but I never experienced any pain (except the blood draws; lord did those bruise. Ugh). The whole thing left me feeling exhausted. It took days before I could do more than toddle around the house. It’s been 2 weeks now, but I still feel a little sick when I think about those fucking clots, or the strangeness of the ER, or passing out 4+ times. I’m hoping I don’t have brain damage, geez. I certainly feel mentally slower than usual, like maybe the pregnancy-brain never went back to normal. As for what I feel emotionally... it’s... hard to say. I’m sad. Disappointed, annoyed. But mostly I was scared. And that makes me hesitant. I still want a kid. I wanted that kid. But I’ve always been very careful. We always knew the risks and wanted to wait until the right time. The problem is, now... Now I’m more intimately familiar with some of the risks, and I’m a bit afraid it’s going to make me too careful. Will I ever get another chance? Will I ever give myself another chance? I don’t know. I really just don’t. Mostly though, I am glad to be alive. And while I was more than accepting of the ugly bloated and tired feeling of pregnancy, I’m happy to take the good with the bad now. I hate what I lost, but my body is starting to feel normal again, and... well, that’s nice, I guess. Anyway... That’s partly why I haven’t been online, and what I’ve been up to since. God I hope you guys have all had nicer, less-eventful years so far. (If you wanna catch up, feel free to message me. The IM feature seems busted on my end, so maybe try sending an ask or something instead.)

#elo talks #long post #super long post #tw: miscarriage #tw: pregnancy #tw: emergency room #tw: blood loss #this is a personal post but I don't mind who interacts with it. I hope maybe it'll help someone somehow #sorry to make you read all this crap

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goingsllightlymad · 4 years

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Blinded By Your Light - Part 8. On Storytelling.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Y/N is the definition of ordinary. Studying at a medical school as far as she can get from her rainy hometown of Birmingham, she never expected to be shipped off the Flanders when the war was at it’s peak. Much less to meet a handsome young patient with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had seen in her life who as fate would have it would fall into her lap.

Wordcount: 6716.

Warnings: Michael is literally the most difficult character to write I swear to God, he just ends up sounding exactly like Tommy so let’s all pretend I have writing skills, okay? (Sorry this took like a millennia and a half to post, I’ve been procrastinating).

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Stopping outside the pub to breathe in the cool summer air, you let the last of the golden sunlight fall upon your closed eyes as you took a moment and then another to collect your scattered thoughts. The footsteps ringing behind you, stopping at your side, were the only sign that Michael was following, as he kept the silence and did not speak at all for a long time.

"I suppose it's all very different." his voice was different to what you had imagined, although you had yet to see his face in the light. It was slow and thoughtful, and the accent was a little lighter, somewhat sharper than the drawl of all the others in Small Heath. Perhaps he had only moved here too, a stranger to this dark world of blood and gore, although perhaps he didn't mind it after all the horrors of the war gone by.

"Yeah. Quieter. More dangerous too, but I suppose that's a given." you kept your eyes closed, regulating your breathing and trying to guess what you would see when you opened them and saw him there. If he would be handsome, but all you saw when you thought of the word was the blue of those eyes and the sharp cheekbones, the dark hair and the tight smile of the man you were trying so very hard to forget. And besides, taking a break from boys for the time being would probably be best for everyone.

"The Peaky's weren't around when you were here?" he seemed genuinely curious, like he was trying to glean details of your past and put you together in his mind like a puzzle that would solve everything.

"Not really, no. It was always happier then, but I s'pose that might just be my memory playing tricks on me." somehow with your eyes closed it seemed so much easier just to say what you were thinking and what was entirely true, and you couldn't help but smile at the sweetness in your words and all the memories they held. It was more like talking to another part of yourself than talking to him at all. And then he stepped a little closer and you let your eyes open to the world.

The sun was already dipping behind the buildings, the town painted in soft tones of purple and pink, and you could feel the cold creeping in around the edges of your mind. Taking a long look beside you, you took in his smooth, pale skin and the mess of soft blond hair that almost covered the watercolour of purplish bruises along his cheekbone and around his eyes. Sunlight glittering in his hazel eyes, you could not deny that he was certainly beautiful. In a way that the stars are beautiful when seen from afar, and the lion in its cage that you had hung out of your window to watch pass by when you were younger and the circus passed through Small Heath on its way to somewhere bigger and more grand, beautiful and dangerous and half a world beyond your touch, the deity of some other religion that you could never see in your blind devotion to your blue-eyed God. He was beautiful in a way that made you feel nothing at all but the wonder that one feels when faced with such unattainable things, and there was not an inch of you that ached for him quite so much as you ached for Tommy even now, still the way he looked in the sunlight made your breath slow in your throat and your eyes catch on his face. He was beautiful like Ada and Isaiah and John and Arthur, and he was not a patch on your Tommy Shelby.

"Things are always nicer when they're in the past." he was smoking, raising the cigarette to his lips and taking a long drag, the smoke wrapping around him as he breathed out, blurring his features in blue and grey. You took your eyes off him and began to walk off down the street, hearing him behind you with his strange face and no Shelby surname to scare you away.

"Maybe not the war, but yeah, in a way." you joked bleakly and he did not laugh. You got the impression that he did not laugh a lot, but you had been here long enough to know that no one laughed here. There was nothing that nice to laugh about, when you thought about it, just the grey and empty days that stretched before you like the sea that had carried your Tommy away and brought this cruel stranger back to you.

"Ada told me you served." he knew Ada. Of course he knew Ada, everyone knew Ada, Ada was the talk of the town and it was not hard to see why. Everyone loved Ada because she at least had nothing to fear, nothing to hide. Ada was the last good thing about this part of town and you thought sometimes that everyone knew it. It wasn't exactly a secret.

"Ada likely told you a lot of things." you couldn't begin to imagine to stories she had told about you, her friend that had got out and had lived another life, the only one who ever left because no one ever left Small Heath and no one ever came back by choice, and you knew that everyone was wondering what had happened to you, and why had you come home at all, "That, though, is true."

"Where d'you go?" he cocked his head, looking over at you.

"Flanders General. A right hell of a place, but I survived what others didn't, so I guess I'm thankful enough." you joked bleakly, and the way he looked at you, the way he looked at you, you knew he knew exactly. It was hard to believe he had been to war when he was so much brighter, so much less tall and grand and intimidating to the soldier you knew in his hospital bed. But he wasn't there anymore, and you were secretly glad that he wasn't a thing like Tommy. The morning's words still rang through your head like a sucker punch, and you could feel yourself frowning as your mind wandered back again and again to him, to Tommy.

"That's where Tommy was, right?" Michael thought aloud, and you wondered if he knew how much it hurt you when he said his name. Of course he didn't know, and all the better that he didn't, still you wanted to tell him not to talk like that, not to bring up things that were better left unsaid.

"Yeah." you muttered shortly, hoping against hope that he would take the hint and leave the sensitive subject alone, but now he had turned away again to gaze up at the swirling sunset sky, and lost entirely in his own distant world.

"You saw him?"

It was a long time before you replied, your words drawn out like they came straight of your troubled mind, and he got the sense he was hearing a lie that was so much truer than any truth you might have told him.

"No. No, I didn't." and maybe that was true. You didn't see him, not Tommy Shelby, not this heartless man who ran the local gang and killed like he had never known how beautiful it was to love at all. Not this man who cursed you and left you and never kept his promises; the Tommy you had known was soft and kind and perfect, the man who should never be a soldier for all the light and life behind his eyes that drew you back to his bedside day after day. If you had known the other Tommy, perhaps you might never have sat with him at all. Perhaps you might not have loved him quite so much. If you had known... You wondered what might have happened if it had been Michael instead that day in the hospital that you had been sent to see. Looking at him for a long moment, it was hard to tell whether you would have loved him too, given the time to find out. There was a part of you that warned you that you would, that you might still, that men were a dangerous game to play for a girl as weak at heart as you sometimes believed you were. And there was that part of you, a little smaller and a whole lot quieter, like even your mind was a secret to you now, that whispered that there would never be another man quite so good as Tommy Shelby once had been. That you had tasted paradise in all its earthly glory and nothing would ever be the same again. That you might like to, you might try to, fall in love again and again, with Ada and with Michael and with Isaiah Jesus as you had once before, but that nothing in this world could take you away from the endless longing in your heart that had never quite gone away since that first and last kiss on the station platform. You wondered how many lonely prophets would give their restless souls to taste their golden angels as they rained down on them from high, and none of them would ever know the way it broke your heart.

"They say he got a medal for bravery in the Somme. Strange - never took 'im for the hero type." he shrugged and you gasped, pushing down all the thorny pain that was stabbing at your heart. The Tommy you knew had heart enough to win a thousand medals, to be a hero undoubtedly, but this man you saw in the Garrison with his harsh words and lovelessness? There was nothing heroic about him. When you played it back, searching desperately for a trace of that tenderness in the beauty of his face, there was only the coldness of a villain.

"And what about you?" you were desperate to change the subject, desperate to get to safer ground before he saw and he knew, and you knew it was pointless because tomorrow he'd know and the whole town would know and all off this would be for nothing. You would run away again, like you had before, and like before you would come back again and again and things would be the same every time. So why were you pretending that you could save this, and make it out like you hadn't fallen in love in the worst possible way. "Are you the hero type?"

"I used to think I was. But then again, doesn't everyone. It's only when you're out there and you're looking at it in the eye that you really see just how scared you are. Makes you a little ashamed of yourself. I thought I could make a difference until just then." he seemed so sad when he said it, and you drifted a little closer to him in the darkening street, glad of the shadows that left the world just you and him, no others, and the conversation which was steadily carrying you away from that most awful of subjects. It was easier when the sun went down on the rights and wrongs of cold humanity and now it was just you, two soldiers in your civies in a street that once was home. You trying to mend a heart when you knew you could not even begin to look down upon your own.

"I think you can make a difference, just not one that matters." you didn't entirely know why you said it, but as he laughed under his breath you knew it was the right thing to say. Something about him left you so unsure, and you had no idea what was the right thing to think or say or do, because you had learned before that nothing you did turned out right. It didn't take a backstory or any explanation to know who you had learned from.

"Thanks." he rolled his eyes at you and you laughed a little, him stopping as he pressed the back of his hand against his forehead in mock-indignation.

"You wanted the truth." you grinned, shrugging innocently and letting him catch up with you again. His features flashed in golden light as you passed the lamplighter with his hands of amber blaze, leaning down from his ladder as you smiled him a goodnight.

"I did, I'm sorry." he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you back to walk beside him and then, as you two fell back into silence and walking side-by-side. A sharp twist of wind came whistling through the street, sending a thrill up your spine as the cold grey colder and the sun had gone away, and Michael shrugged off his jacket in a single deft motion, draping it lightly over your shoulder. It was more or less the right size, thick and warm and filling your senses with the smell of his cologne in a way that made you ache for the chamomile soap in France that you had tasted every day on that other man's skin. Michael smelled of whiskey and smoke, and though it was homely and strangely comforting, you felt more alone than ever when you were wrapped in his clothes. You glanced up at him with a weak smile, all the same, and tried to find the softness in his eyes that was the kindest you had seen today, and nowhere near so quiet nor so beautiful as that sweetness you had once seen in Tommy Shelby. Perhaps it was time to let that sweetness pass you by, for it had been such a long time since you had seen him as he was. Perhaps it had been forever. Whoever could possibly say? "You don't get that a lot around here. The truth."

"You say that like you've seen the whole world." you looked at him for a long moment, trying to figure out where he had been, what he had seen. There was something strange about him, a story, that caught your eye and held it. Sure, he wasn't as exciting as Arthur nor as endearing as Finn, as soft and sweet as Ada or as familiar as Isaiah, and you dared not even begin to compare him to Tommy - nothing compared to Tommy Shelby, and you knew that now more than ever as all your memories rushed through your mind with every passing moment, with every breath you took with aching lungs because what was the point of breathing if it wasn't with him - but he was different and it thrilled you that there might be a world outside of this grim neighbourhood that you had yet to see and he was your way out to it.

"Maybe I have." he tilted his chin up cockily, hazel eyes meeting your gaze and returning it with a cockiness that suited him well. To see the world and come back to Small Heath all the same; you thought he might be a little more insane than the rest of you in town, and that was saying something. So insane you could almost kid yourself that he had not killed at all, but then again death was all the fashion in Small Heath, in the world, right now, and he did seem so stylish.

"And what did you make of it." You'd like to know, if only so that tonight when you closed your eyes and tried to sleep you could pretend you saw it all in front of you, glorious and new as though you really made it. He was the storyteller to your strange addiction, and with each word you knew he had you more and more hooked on his own lifestory.

"It was shit." he said shortly, still holding your gaze, and you knew that that was all that he would say. You wanted to ask more but you knew better than to ask of something that would bring him pain. You hated the thought of him in pain, and you wondered for a moment if his past was just like yours, an epic and a tragedy of love and loss and an afterthought of loneliness in a town halfway to inferno and inching closer.

"You actually like it here?" you could not keep the incredulous thrill out of your voice, and he laughed at you. He laughed a lot, and it never seemed quite happy at all, more like life was some great big joke that you could not comprehend, and there you were all hooked and waiting for him to let you know the punchline. Something you'd waited so long for, you thought it had to be worth it.

"Nah, this is even more shit." he kicked a stone and it skittered across the street, glancing off the curb and falling into the gutter, stained from a summer full of rain and cracked with the ghost of the sun's glare.

"Glad someone else can see it." you muttered, and in those words you cursed them all, those who sent you away and those who pulled you back and those who'd made the other world so beautiful that you could not think of coming back here, although in that there was only one person to blame and you thought you'd better not say his name out loud for fear of falling apart all over again, in the street with pretty Michael.

"I grew up in this dreadful little village and I hated it, you know." his dreamy gaze was fixed on some point in the middle distance, and in his voice there was a thoughtfulness that made you think that as he spoke he was forgetting in every word that you were there at all. You felt like you were hearing some part of him that he hadn't said before, and you wondered how long it had been since he had told the truth. How sad it must be to have a story so interesting and no one ever ask for it, because a story without its audience is a fairytale lost to time, and soon your life would not be real at all. "And now suddenly I'm working for the Peaky fucking Blinders and I'm stuck in this shitty neighbourhood and no one else seems to hate it as much as I do." by the end he was grimacing tightly, his face masked with a deep, dark pain that might have looked like hatred if you were not reading him, plotting him into the map of your mind for later reference when you wanted another reminder of why you were still here. All the sadness turned to anger here, and after that to vengeance, and in the end to death and all that glory.

And there his story ended, and you knew better than to ask more. You tried to pretend that your excitement in him was not slipping away quickly as one by one his walls built up around him again, his jaw setting tight and stern and pushing away that glimpse of humanity you were not so sure had even been there at all anymore. There you had it - he had been away and seen it all and come back here to never speak of it again - and that little stir of hope within you off the picture of another life, far away from grey Small Heath, was fading back into the darkness as you left the lamplighter behind.

"You're a Peaky?" your voice broke a little as you prayed that he would tell you no, that he would say that you were silly, he was wrong, he was no Peaky nor a bad man either, but how could you not be bad in such a world as yours was now? This whole town seemed to be filled with them, the dreadful Peakies and their shiny caps and lifeless laws and loveless lives, and in each face and bloodied fist you saw again and again only him, only Tommy.

"Just an accountant, really. Don't think that counts as much. Certainly doesn't to Tommy." he was venomous, bitter, and filled with a dark injustice that made you wonder what he would do if he could do it all and more. And for the first time you thought a silent thank you to God, to Tommy Shelby, as you thought of Michael safe within his counting-house when the others went to war. You wanted to kid yourself that he had never held a gun, never killed a man, but Shelby or not the blood still ran the same here, hot and angry and with the taste of death.

"And all the better for it." you let out a shaky breath, not realising your fists had been clenched tight until you forced them open, rubbing at the deep crescent moons left in your palms by blunt nails. "People die here, would be a shame to lose the only other person who hasn't spent there entire fucking life within the same six streets." you were playing it safe, trying to hide the relief that flooded through you, trying to convince yourself that you were simply protective of the only other person in this entire goddamn town who was not out for more blood on their hands when the war was long since over, instead of the truth that everybody knew; that you knew now that at least you were not stepping back into the centre of the twisted web of Tommy Shelby and all the cold and bloodied hell around him.

"Ah, don't worry about me. Think I'll be just fine." he shoved his hands into his hands, spinning on his heels to walk backwards, facing you and wearing that lazy grin that you could already tell was so utterly false. A self defence, and the eyes behind it were bright and dead and filled with pain and stories.

"I hope so." you smiled back, mainly in solidarity. I know you're lying, but so am I. We two are far from being fine, and don't we both know it so well?

"And if you could get out of here?" his question took you by surprise - no one had asked you that before. They were all so kind to you, their sympathy and their insidious envy so close together that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. They all pitied you for coming back eventually as everyone knew you always would, and they all hated you too, blamed you for not giving every last inch of your being just to keep yourself the hell away from this godawful town. But until now, not one of them had ever asked you where you would go from here, and to be honest you were beginning to wonder if you were going anywhere. Standing in the middle of Small Heath half a year since you had first come back, it was not hard to believe that you would be here forever.

"You mean would I drop everything and just get as far away as I could?" you laughed bitterly, knowing that that was the thought that had kept you up at night, that was the thought that was playing on both of your minds. He knew it, you knew it; it was the unattainable dream.

"Yeah."

"I... I don't know. I thought I would, but I- I just don't know." Saying it out loud made it feel a whole lot better. In your head it had taken up so much room, screaming at you all day as you tried to push aside that hatred of yourself and of everything else here in Small Heath. You would leave, you had wanted so much to leave, but now the thought of the rest of the world was quickly fading in your mind. The truth was that you had no idea what was out there, and you almost didn't want to find out. Here was Ada and John and Arthur and Isaiah, and here at last was your love, Tommy, although he may not love you now. If you could leave them all behind, would you really? You just didn't know if you had the strength to let any more people down.

"There's a lot of things to stay for." He seemed to know so well what you were thinking, and you knew that he had been through all of this before, for he too had been pulled back into this grim underworld from somewhere kind and far away. You had the mind of a traveller, an escape artist and a convict all in one, and you could tell that he did too. It was as though he saw right through you, but you knew that he did not see you at all.

"Oh?" looking over at him, you raised an eyebrow questioningly. It was a strange thing for him to say, all the same. What did he know about you that made him so sure that he could persuade you to stay. Here was a man who did not know you and wanted to speak to you all the same, and behind you was that other, darker man who knew you as you did not even know yourself, and would have nothing to say.

"For one thing, you could stay for me." It was a thought. You could definitely stay for him, this strange little man who seemed so much more invested in your answers than anyone else you had met in this town. He was curious, to say the least, and you found it rather flattering. You could definitely cope with having him around.

"Or stay for myself."

"Or stay for both of us." he was so desperate for you to stay with him that you wondered what it was that he wanted from you. You thought the whole of Birmingham must know by now that you would surely never love again and why. And you were not a Shelby, only a friend of a sister. There were rats roaming the streets who had more power than you, and yet you knew that you were not exactly so far from the Blinders as you might like to think.

"I wouldn't mind that." it might be nice to have a friend. In a neighbourhood like this, there was no harm in having allies, especially those who could protect you so well as the Blinders might. And it seemed like Michael was the closest you could get to the Blinders without seeing that dreadful, beautiful face.

"Then don't go anywhere and I won't either." he swung around to take your hand, bring it up to his lips as he made his wild promises. You knew that, given the opportunity, he would break them without a second thought, but you knew that you would too. And somehow the promises seemed more definite that way. "Stick around for each other, eh?" a smile cracked open the hard, coolness of his face, and you returned it weakly. There was something about him that reminded you so much of Tommy, your Tommy, and you wondered if that was the only reason why you were standing here with him now, not telling him to leave. You wondered if all the Blinders were like that - cold and cruel and broken - and suddenly your heart ached for Isaiah. You wished more than anything that he had become a preacher instead.

"This... this is me." You waved your free hand towards the shadow of the church on the corner, resplendent in its inky darkness and the sins that seeped from the stained-glass windows and into the street. Your hand slipped out of his, falling heavily to your side as you took a step back from him.

"Where we say our goodbyes." he murmured, and you nodded.

"I suppose." You turned the corner, made a move to go into the church and then turned to smile at him. As you looked over, you caught him staring at you thoughtfully, a plethora of unreadable emotions dancing over his face and you wondered what on earth he was thinking now. "Thank you. For... getting me home safe."

"I enjoyed it. A lot." he seemed as surprised as you were, when he said it, as though he had not been expecting to feel that way. And the way his face softened as he said it, the small lines by his eyes that made you think that his heart was full of quiet emotions that he would never say, it all reminded you of Tommy.

"Would you mind if-" you began, not sure what you were saying but knowing that it was something to do with Tommy Shelby. You needed to speak to him, to have a message brought to him, that you loved him as you always had before, and that yes, you had forgiven him already for every sin in all his life. You love, love, loved him, you always had. But just as you were saying it,

"Would you like to-" he blurted out, caught himself as both of you spoke at the same time, words blurring over each other in a tangled mass of thoughts out loud.

"You first." you wanted to say it, all that you had been meaning to say, and then disappear immediately into the safe solitude of the church. You didn't want to see him look at you with all that pity and mindless apology in his eyes that you had seen so much today. You didn't want him to think less of you, but you really had to say it now, or else you knew you never would.

"Thank you." He took a deep breath in and out, still standing some way away from you as you waited by the great church doors, but now you felt as though he were close enough to hear each breath from your lips, each beat of your heart, and they were not for him. They were not for anyone other than your sweet and unattainable Tommy. "Would you like to go to the pictures with me. Tonight was nice."

"Michael I-" You were surprised, to say the least. This was the last thing you had expected from him, when all of Small Heath knew by now what had gone on today. You thought the whole world must know about you and Tommy Shelby, and you thought they must love you a little less for it too. You meant nothing but trouble now, for you picked fights with people in very high places and they liked to keep their enemies very, very close.

"Please." He took a small step towards you and you could hear the pleading desperation in his voice, a little emotion coming through, so honest that you could not believe that you had found it here, in Small Heath. It was enough to make anyone give in.

"Okay." you whispered, and you knew he had heard you. You thought that the whole world had heard you, because the words rang through your mind so loud and harsh and important, and they would stay there forever to haunt you because there it was, you had given up on Tommy Shelby. This really was the end of things.

"Thursday? Eight o clock?"

"I'll be here." You would, because now where else could you be. When you told Ada, she would probably tell you that it was just as well, that you should go for it, but the truth was that you didn't know how. For you had loved the greatest of all things, the most beautiful of men, and how could you ever love again?

"Goodnight (Y/N)." he spoke softly, and you could almost hear his heartbeat through his words, quick and strong like he was full of love and life, but no one in Small Heath knew of either. He was so different to this cold, dead town.

"Goodnight Michael." You waved at him weakly as he kept his eyes on you and took a step backwards, taking him in once more as he stood in front of you like you were trying desperately to read him one more time before he disappeared forever and became someone else entirely. The men you knew had a habit of doing that.

"Goodnight." he smiled.

"Goodnight." you smiled back, a little more honestly this time.

"Goodnight." and he was still walking away, still facing you, and you thought he looked rather ridiculous but you liked it all the same, and you were wondering if perhaps it wasn't such a mistake that you and he would meet again and try to be something more.

"I really have to go now, my father will be worried. Goodnight, I'll see you on Thursday." You promised him, already opening the church door and looking through into the impenetrable darkness beyond.

"Thursday can't come soon enough." came ringing through the street as at last you saw him disappear around the corner, into the dark shadows of the night. You let out a long and shaky sigh. You slipped through the gap in the heavy church doors, leaning against the wood on the other side as you heard his footsteps quieten and die away as he walked away.

"Yeah," you murmured into the shadowy silence of the church. For a moment you believed it too, letting the thought of Michael fill your mind for all the time it took to stand and begin that walk down the aisle to the anteroom door. And then the thought of Tommy came in, and flooding back, and everything was blue once more.

________________________________________________________________________________

It was not for you to know that Tommy Shelby had waited in the shadows, standing on the corner by the darkening church as the cold and the night came creeping in around him. Not something you would look for and not something you would see, and perhaps that was why he had done it. He would like to say that someone had told him you were there at the Garrison and he wanted to make sure you were safe, after all even he could not deny that the two of you had history, no matter how that history had ended.

By the curb where the shadows met the dim glow of the streetlamp that flickered and waned as the wind hissed around the corner like the biting breath of apprehending fate, Tommy Shelby lit another cigarette and waited for you to walk by, the way he had waited for you every day in France and every day since. It was not something that he would particularly like the world to know, but to say that he had meant none of his words today was not far from the truth. The truth; as if you needed that.

When you turned around the corner, stepping into the light as it fell upon you, it was all he could do not to step out and go to you the way he knew he should. The way you had probably thought he would, and now that he thought about it, it was getting harder and harder to remember why he hadn't. Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the blond of pretty, cruel Grace and the way Small Heath looked when you came through it for the first time back from France, he had realised then that he was never right for you. He loved you, he loved you, but this was for your own good. It killed him to hurt you, but he could not even imagine the hell that would ensue if someone else hurt you instead. Small Heath was not the place for sweet nurses and kind girls, Small Heath was a place for even the darkest demons of the world to shy away from.

He knew that you had seen Grace, because he knew that she had seen you. She had made that very clear already, the sound of her shouting and screaming at him enough to make him think that, somewhere in Small Heath, you must have heard it too. All of their problems that were really only his problems, laid out on a washing line for the whole world to see. Tommy Shelby was a worthless piece of shit, but they already knew that and you already knew that and he already knew that too. What else was new, except that Tommy Shelby had yet another woman and Grace would not stand for it. She would stand for it, she always stood for it, no matter how many times he wished she'd leave she somehow always stayed. He was beginning to think she was not staying for him at all, she just made it look that way. And now, yet again, she was staying right here, the girlfriend of Mr Thomas Shelby, living in his house the way he wished you would instead, taking up his time and his love the way he wished you would. The woman he loved would never love him now, and the woman he didn't would never stop. The world had finally caught up on its debts against Tommy Shelby.

Tommy pressed his cigarette into the bricks of the wall behind, sparks showering down onto his shoes and fizzling out in the gutter where the water fell drip by drip by drip. In the heat the pipes were cracking, water bleeding out from their wounds and painting strange patterns in the dirt and heavy dust. The thought of summer burning in his mind, Tommy brought his coat closer around him, straightening up as the cold rushed in around his collar. With a last deep breath, he went to move towards you and saw you standing not alone this time, but pressed against the church door with another man before you. You smiled at him, and Tommy had to frown at that because he had seen that beautiful smile all those days before, and this was so far from it. To be honest, you looked tired. There were dark purplish bruises under your eyes that reminded Tommy of those weeks where you stole snatches of sleep in the chair beside him, hurrying back and forth all day and all night for days and days on end. But now there was not that giddy, sleepless smile that you had had when you knew it was all worth it. Now you just looked... sad.

It did not take a genius to tell who had made you this way.

He had to grimace at that, his displeasure only bubbling higher in the pit of his stomach as you laughed at something the man said, bowing your head and he hoped you were not blushing. You were not his to lose, but you were no one else's to love either. And then the man was going away, and Tommy was breathing out audibly and realising that there was no way he could go to you now. He wondered if for a moment there you forgot about him entirely (he wondered if you remembered him at all), and he wondered if you knew that you had never left his mind for a moment since the moment you had left the station platform.

And then through the street there came those dreadful words, the promise of Thursday flooding through Tommy's mind as he braced himself against the wall, hiding himself further in the shadows because there was no way you could see him now. He heard you, every word you said, when you agreed to go to the pictures with the man that Tommy couldn't quite see, and when you said goodnight too many times, and Tommy could picture you not wanting the man to leave, and Tommy could see your face when you fell so utterly in love because you had once showed that face to him.

He heard the man turning the corner, leaving at last, and as he broke from the wall and stepped out into the street, he saw the last of you, ducking back into the church and closing the doors behind you. Tommy Shelby could never have you now.

Taglist:

@actorinfluence @captivatedbycillianmurphy @stressedandbandobessed7771 @audioshoes

#Tommy Shelby #tommyshelbyxreader #Thomas Shelby #thomasshelbyxreader #Michael Gray #michaelgrayxreader #Peaky Blinders #peakyblindersxreader #fanfiction #reader insert

39 notes · View notes

lcving-ateez · 5 years

Text

You’d never know ♡

Plot: Your best friend had always cared about you but after an especially hard day, while he wants to show that even more, an upset you wants nothing more than to be alone. A heated argument brings the two closer than you'd ever imagined.

Word count: 1,979

Extras!: The first half is a bit of a Snapchat AU and the second half is in normal paragraphs.

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 sent a snap!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: so you are ignoring me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: it shows that you're opening my messages

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: seriously?

Me: Mingi leave me alone please

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: can I have an explanation as to why my best friend cried in the library

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: didn't come to two of her lectures

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: totally ignored me on our lunch break

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: yeah I get it

Me: I'm sorry okay?

Me: I'm a horrible person, happy now?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: oh shut up you know I didn't mean it like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what's up with you?

Me: nothing

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: that works on school counselors and parents

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: not the boy you've known since the second grade

Me: well maybe it's no-ones business genius. Can you not just accept that???

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: right then, I'm sorry for caring?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: But go ahead and tell Yoosung since apparently your boyfriend of like three months is more important

Me: he is the problem

Me: Gi he broke up with me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: no

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: this had better be a joke

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he did what????

Me: he broke up with me Mingi

Me: he said I wasn't good enough

Me: that he dated me because he wanted to make his ex jealous

Me: it worked and now...

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he is in no way allowed to talk to you like that wtf

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he's nothing compared to you, do you even know how perfect you are

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: you don't have to say anything to make me feel better

Me: Idk who I was, thinking someone so far out of my league would ever want me in the first place

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: dont you dare beat yourself up because that asshole doesn't know how to act

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: how did it happen?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm so so sorry

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I should've asked you nicer, I should've known you were hurting and I shouldn't have spoke to you the way I did earlier

Me: well I asked why he didn't come outside when we went to pick him up this morning

Me: he told me he 'wouldn't be caught dead in that piece of shit car your dumb-ass Mingi ever so proudly drags around'

Me: and then I told him not to talk about you like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what kind of guy has that little self respect?

Me: then he told me about the whole ex thing and said what losers we both are and

Me: I just feel so stupid

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Don't?? You're the smartest funniest prettiest girl I know

Me: you're just saying that because you feel like you need to right now

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: why on earth would I 'need' to say anything?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N I don't bullshit when it's serious like this

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I knew he was no good

Me: are you really playing the I knew it card right now????

Me: also why wouldn't you tell me then?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: uh because you were happy??

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I didn't want to ruin that for you

Me: I'm so done with guys

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: bit dramatic don't you think?

Me: let's just not talk about him

Me: I just stopped crying

Me: one more tear and I'll die of dehydration

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: you deserve better you know?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: your first boyfriend was meant to be special and perfect for you

Me: well jokes on you minki

Me: he wasn't 🥵

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm serioussss :( you deserve someone who suits you and makes you happy

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: cute height difference

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite foods

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite memes

Me: if only such a guy existed

Me: and no one like that would be interested in me lol

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: YOURE SO SLOW

Me: awe aren't you lovely? 😘

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N L/N I COULDN'T BE ANY BLUNTER

Me: I told you I'm stupid 🤷🏻‍♀️

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: eye-

Me: 🥰🥰🥰

Me: Mingiiiiiiiii did I offend youuuu?

Me: open my messages rat

Me: don't be sad 😔🤠

Me: Minmin I love youuuUU

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Look outside dipshit

Me: am I gonna see a spooky clown 😱😱🤪

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: IM FREEZING THIS ISNT THE TIME TO BE MESSING AROUND

Me: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING ON MY LAWN SONG?!?!?!?!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: L/N LET ME IN THESE TROUSERS ARE PAPER THIN

You turned off your phone and rushed down the stairs, quickly unlocking the door. Mingi's soft brown hair covered his eyes in a messy mop; evidence of him jumping out of bed to come see you. He rubbed his hands feverishly up and down his biceps in an attempt to generate warmth.

"Extra ass" you sighed, yanking him by the shoulder into your house. Once he was inside and you'd locked the door again, you turned to him angrily.

"Why are you here? Mingi I told you I’m over him. I’m fine”

"Bold of you to assume I'm here to talk about that jackass" He huffed walking right past you and into the kitchen, fully knowing you'd follow him. You stomped behind him waiting to see what he'd do next.

Mingi ran his hands through his fringe while he opened the fridge, scanning its shelves for something to drink. Although you were a lot less emotional than you were this morning; today had been a lot and you weren't in the mood to speak to anyone, not even your best friend.

"Can you leave? I'll see you at uni tomorrow" you whined as he picked out an apple juice box and pulled the straw from it, totally ignoring you in the process.

"I'm serious, I don't want to see anyone. My parents are out for a while and this is the only time I get alone" The boy shut the fridge door and turned to you, leaning on his forearms against the granite countertop. It was awkward when he looked at you, holding eye contact as he slipped the straw between his lips, staring down at you condescendingly.

His expression was an uncanny blend of amused and standoffish. His brows were perked up and his eyes were blank in a way that seemed to challenge you without saying a word.

Go ahead, get mad. I dare you

And oh boy, did that piss you off.

"I'm sorry did I say you could come in and open my fridge?" you asked leaving a pause for him to answer while you organized your angry thoughts; you weren't actually that mad about him taking a single juice box, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. Mingi simply shook his head, just waiting for you to go off.

"Then can you maybe have a single ounce of respect and ask before you come over for once?! God, guys are all the same you're so- so selfish and rude! I said I wanted to be alone today and you couldn't respect that, you didn't even try to comfort me or talk like a normal person!" Your rant was cut short as loud slurps irritated your thought process. He was stood there crushing the small carton, squeezing every last drop into his mouth before tossing it into the bin to his left.

Your head felt like it would explode into a million little pieces right then and there. His cold nature had you right on the verge of breaking out into tears of fury.

"Are you really that childish? Knock it off right now, Mingi. I've had one of the worst days of my life and I just- I just need to let it pass right now. You're not helping by being such a fu-" your voice was breaking and tears were unknowingly streaming down your cheek, but a sudden action surprised you enough to bring them to a sudden halt.

Mingi hated seeing you so mad but he knew you needed to let it out somewhere, and if he had to be your vessel then so be it; When he saw you start crying though, everything single brain cell in his head thought of how he could fix this. And being the quick - totally irrational - thinker he is, all Mingi could think of was to kissing you.

And kiss you he did.

As soon as he pushed off the counter his hand found the back of your neck like a magnet to metal. His grip was strong enough to show you how desperate he was but gentle enough to show you he meant no harm. His lips connected to yours in the blink of an eye while his other arm found its way around your waist, holding your much smaller frame tightly against his.

His lips moved slowly against your own, the feeling of electricity rushed through your veins as you melted wholly into the kiss, feeling loved and warm for the first time today. His plump lips were colder than yours from being outside and tasted faintly of the drink he'd had moments earlier, as you moved your head to the side the fruity smell engulfed you.

You could definitely get used to this.

With his fingers running a final stroke through your hair, Mingi pulled away gently as if asking for permission to do so. You complied and took a step back breaking away from his warmth as you ached for more. A satisfied smile graced his face, you'd never know how long he'd been waiting to do that.

Your mind was blank and the room was dead silent for far too long as you stood there, trying to process what had happened and trying to calm the furious red shade consuming your cheeks. Mingi broke this silence by laughing after he licked his lips. It started as a light giggle but quickly turned into a painful wheeze.

"W-what?" You asked, quite frankly seeing that smile on his face brought one to your own, his laugh was contagious.

"For a sad girl, you’re still so extra. Are you really wearing cherry flavored lip balm?" He continued to laugh, licking the glossy remnants off of his lips; you could've sworn your heart had stopped.

"’Min, that's gross! You can't do that!"

"But it tastes good" he frowened like a lost puppy, suddenly all was forgiven

"What are you doing to me?" Your head was clouded with far too many emotions to work normally so you thought out loud, hoping he'd have an answer.

"Hopefully cheering you up a little?"

"Song Mingi stop it right now! Can you just not mess with me like this? If you like me you can say so just don't if you...don't" your words wouldn't have made sense to anyone sane, but Mingi wasn't anyone; and he sure as hell wasn't sane. Your mum had always told you that guys only want one thing and it stuck with you, but He wasn't like that; your whole being wanted to believe Mingi wasn't like that.

"I would never hurt you Y/N. I wouldn't kiss you like that if I didn't mean it" He didn't need you to ask what he meant, years of friendship meant he could read your expression like an open book.

"I really really like you Y/N. God it feels good to say that. So I've like, liked you this way since freshman year but you've always treated me like a little brother - even though I'm a billion times taller than you - and I didn't think you'd want to date me anyways" Mingi kept that childish glint in his eyes as his hand rubbed the nape of his neck, waiting with baited breath for you to say anything, anything at all.

"Well you know, you could've said something because I thought you had a thing for Yunho" You snickered walking over to trap him against the countertop, your arms either side of him.

"You- That's kinda fair though. Yunho is a fine piece of ass. But what do you say?"

And just like that the words you never thought you'd hear from your previous best-friend left his lips

"You gonna be my girlfriend, L/N?"

"I might just, Song”

Happy Mingi Day xx

#t:mi #t:oneshot #Hey hey my second full oneshot!#i hope yall liked this!#song mingi fluff #song mingi fic #song mingi oneshot #ateez mingi fluff #ateez mingi fic #ateez mingi oneshot #ateez mingi #ateez song mingi #ateez fluff #ateez fic #ateez oneshot #smg

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