#im just a faggot and thats good enough for me

[roaringheat]

mainstream modern queer culture is so frustrating sometimes with all the really fuckin strict labels. my irls wouldn't be able to comprehend how fuckin convulated my identity is now

[jellyaibo]

got to ramble abt loser to someone last nite right and its always a nice lil refresh for me explaining what actually happens in the show AND MAN its so funny how people are so willing to call loser a jerk or think shes evil bc of the things she did and like ok whatever but did we forget abt all the shit this thang had to go thru like ?!?!?!?

getting eliminated with the most votes so far, isolation in the jawbreaker (which ik tghis isnt a serious deal in the show, DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE ANGST ABT THIS CUZ IM NORMAL) like ofc getting eliminated isnt enough get into the sensory deprivation chamber SADFJKSHDFKHSDF LIKE !

also imsorry this cunt has ptsd HEHAHHAA WE SEE HER GET A FLASHBACK IN EP 4 THATS JUST NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN (the paper mache incident)

and like. man it adds layers BC AS U CAN SEE LOSER NEVER ALWAYS HAD IT SO GOOD???? so like OF COURSE when him & winner get popular loser relishes in it. BC ITS DESERVED? LOL? WOULDNT U BE ECSTATIC IF U AND UR BUDDY GOT POPULAR AFTER YEARS OF NOTHANG? ITS HUGE!

and yeah ! her up n' leaving winner wasnt the best but you srsly gotta keep in mind this is losers dream . to her winner just didnt want to support him anymore AND U COULD SEE LOSER WAS CLEARLY UPSET ! hes ALSO losing a good friend too !!

butohmy god im getting off tangent just. you know . loser has gone thru some shit and its funny how many ppl i see just dont talk about it !! AND LIKE !! ON TOP OF THIS LOSER IS STILL NICE !! IDC !! loser has always been helping people n doing her best . and even tho her fans keep flip flopping (shoutouts to cake) she still keeps her chin up

PLUS having all these fans adds another thing: expectations, expectations, THE HIGHEST OF ALL! bc loser is soo popular, everyone sees him as perfect and strong WHEN LIKE WE SEE LOSER IS A HELPER AND A NICE GUY YES but at the end of the day ! shes a guy ! (thinks really hard abt cake n eggy arguing then it just cutting to loser craving nuggets . see maybe this is just me looking too deep into it but it shows the contrast of how the fans feel abt her vs how loser rlly is . just a kinda quiet?? guy that likes helping ppl)

this shows even more in post split when loser has a #normal moment over "a fan doubting her" YOU CAN SEE HOW IT AFFECTS HIM BC EVERYONE HAS SUCH HUGE EXPECTATIONS AND . as u could see ANY ONE MISTAKE WILL LEAVE LOSER ALL ALONE AGAIN ! OFC SHE WILL PANIC INTERNALLY SKFHDKSDFH

and idk where to put this but taco calls him "cuboid" and like see itsounded so derogatory when she says it GAJHAHAHAHA ITS LIKE??? not object slursIM NOT SAYING THAT ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME . IT SOUNDS LIKE A DEROGATORY TERM MAN ITS LIKE GETTING CALLED uhhhhhhhhhok other than the f slur i cant think of anything its like shes being called a faggot ok whatever I NEED TO STOP TYPING

[celebrityfootlicker]

Ben Jordan - Foot story

Ben had been my roommate for 3 months now ever since he moved in he’s been different from the friend I used to have he’s turned into a jerk maybe it was his true colors or he was just putting up a face as my roommate now either way he always demanded things from doing the dishes for him to cleaning his clothes. I had finished up washing my dishes when Ben came into the kitchen “Hey man I got something to talk to you about” nodding you both walk into the living room and sit down “your past roommate talked to me a while ago and told me about some things you used to do like smelling his socks” my face flushed red I hoped this wouldn’t happen having a foot fetish was bad enough but now he’s going to think I’m a creep I try to get a word out but Ben pauses me “I want to make you an offer” I nod confused “from now on your going to do all the chores in the house along with cooking for me and other things I tell you to do”. Thats how it’s been anyway but this seems interesting I agree “Cool along with that im taking ownership of you, seeing how you sneaked every time you sniffed his clothes you probably felt embarrassed well now you don’t have to worry as my pet your going to have my scent on you everyday whenever you walk outside people will know just from a whiff of you that you’re a Bitch”. My cock was throbbing the thought of being a slave to Ben gave me so much pleasure my conscious was screaming at me to say no but every other part of me said yes not able to control myself I nodded again.

“Good then as your first task Faggot go get me a fucking beer” I rush to the fridge and grab a beer bringing it to Ben he chuckles “Good boy, your gonna be a good boy forever for me right?” I nod and Ben looks away smiling he must feel so powerful and all i can do is stand here and observe waiting for my next order. Ben puts his feet on the coffee table wiggling his toes he catches me staring “You wanna lick my feet?” I nod “then beg me” I blink and get on my knees putting my head to the ground I plead for a chance to worship his feet the soft and sweaty feet are the only things I need and want as I pick my head off the ground Ben just looks at me “Fine go ahead make sure I feel amazing while you worship them and thank me for this opportunity” I scoot to the end of the table right in front of Ben’s feet the smell was intoxicating I reached out and touched them the soft yet wet skin was perfect I grasped his foot and began massaging.

“Fuck yeah faggot, lets make this a daily routine for you everyday you spend hm 2 hours at my feet” I quickly agree and continue massaging. After a bit longer I stick my tongue out and lick from the bottom of his heel to the top of his toes, after a few of these licks Ben sticks his big toe into my mouth swirling it around “so warm, suck on it” he demands and I oblige licking all over he moans more and pops his toe from in my mouth “that’s enough for today, sit there and think of a good meal to cook for me tonight” I ask what im supposed to eat “the dirt from my feet wasn’t enough?” I shake my head telling him it was and thank him for the food “whatever faggot that’s all you get anyway now go make me my food”

This new life as Ben’s slave was brutal and constantly tiring but still I wouldn’t change it.

[homosexualasstransbian]

im transfem/nonbinary and honestly the whole cutesy uwu anime girl puppy girl aesthetic is making me feel ill. i recently got harrassed by a cis woman chaser who saw the transflag in my bio and started talking to me in this really weird overly cutesy way and started flirting with me, i told her im taken and not interested and this is weird and she said something like "oki u silly transie, if u ever need a girly to do something for you im here, cuz nornal girls are boring" and then the next day she sent me some image of some anime girl w/ the caption "im not like other girls, i have a massive cock" and asked "this u?" and she was so weird and gross and overly cutesy. and like the fact im trans is part of me and im proud of it but i want to be seen as me, as a person, as smthn beyond arbitrary boxes. thats why im nonbinary, i dont wanna be forced into some made up vague perception of how i have to be and instead just be me and do my own thing. i dont label my sexuality either but im pretty sure im like pretty aromantic. greyromantic or whatever its called. and my sexuality i kinda tie together with my romantic attraction, so its often incredibly odd to me how prevalent sexual language and stuff is online and how weirdly its treated as smthn normal, especially in more queer communities. and when i feel terrible and get support online, ppl will say ooo ur pretty ooo ur cute dont be sad and downplay it when i need someone to talk to qnd need to be acknoledged beyond how i physically am, it makes me feel rlly objectified and like my only value is in the fact that i am trans and how i look, and its my only thing and the only way ppl refer to me and boil me down to. but i dont want to be some cutesy meme girl, i want ppl to acknowledge me and what i do and like and love and enjoy and hate and dislike and think and say, i want to be seen and understood regardless of and beyond my transness. because im a raw, living breathing human person thats infinitely complex, and i just wanna be me and do what i enjoy. i dont want my personality boiled down to superficial aspects of me that exists solely because outside society needed a label for it to ostrasize or fetishize it. im sorry for the long rant its just rlly frustrating, especially when you try to find communities and its just so weirdly sexual and condescending and objectifying 😭

hey unfortunately, i do not have the mental capacity to be able to read all of this and actually respond to it, i just lose 80% of the ask once I'm finished reading, so I'll just say: damn fuck that cis bitch.

While i get that after your experiences this "aesthetic" might make you feel ill, i really don't see why i should be told this.

I do not choose the way i present to other people because it's what i feel i should look or act like, i act however feels good to me. the reason my blog looks like this is because, put simply, i like it.

I may not be just a puppy, girl or gay, in fact the most accurate way to describe me would be "thing that should not be alive as far as anyone knows, but it persists, it's also a puppy that is a girl, a robot, a void and divine flesh"

but i go with my current aesthetic, username, and whatever else because they're the descriptions I'm most confident in, they make me feel nice, i love them.

I am quite literally a tranny girl faggot that acts like a puppy sometimes.

Sometimes i feel like I'm a shattered vessel built of divine flesh that's empty and yet so completely full.

Sometimes i wish my flesh melted away, permanently fusing me with the outer shell of a mech.

None of my identities are fully separate or stable, but they also feel distinct enough that i only choose one at a time (and even then sometimes they can split apart).

I don't act like this because i wanna be "haha silly cute trans girl that's an adorable puppy and is so so overly sexual", it's just what i act like, in general, if I don't worry about pretending to be someone else.

I guess put simply: if you don't like me: fucking leave, block me, get rid of me, i won't hold it against you, I'll continue to do what i like, the way i like doing it, because this is my blog.

i forgot where i was going with this post, y'all just get this really long one i guess.

[stranger-rants]

i try not to stereotype but its always wild to me when antis say billy would call them a slur while openly having steve as their fave or being a st//eddie because like,,,,,,

steve is the rich jock in the 80s, his parents 100% have membership to the country club, im like 90% sure theyd support reagan considering their financial situation, his dad loves a good game or tennis or even badminton if he wants to be a bit spontaneous, they definitely shop at whatever the us version of waitrose is, his parents have their own person tailor and if their outfits arent at least $100 they wont be wearing them outside and that extends to steve, they have definitely either used a slur and/or done that weird talking around it the "oh you know, those people who prefer embroidered tea cosies" or whatever.

like i dont want to say that steve would just parrot whatever his parents say and would just internalise their opinions, because obviously thats not true on most cases. but at the same time, theres a lot of psychological studies showing that kids do learn from their parents.

and weve already seen steve calling someone a slur on screen. i cant remember if it was queer or faggot, but he was also parroting the rhetoric that gay men are predators who prey on young boys. like where the fuck else did he get that rhetoric from? and even if it wasnt his parents, steve seems to have believed it enough to remember it and parrot it back at jonathan.

id like to think that steve wouldnt call me a slur, especially post-s3 steve, but its fucking wild to me that the "billy would call me a slur" crowd entirely ignore the everything about steves character.

like im sorry buddy, but if pre-s3 steve saw me, a trans man with tits too large to bind who goes out of his way to look as queer as possible, im pretty sure hed call me a whole myriad of slurs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ meanwhile i dont think billy would because hes a cis dude who purposefully presents more feminine. wed probably just have a chill conversation about judas priest or id introduce him to soda stereo.

and anyway its not like know if steve agrees with his parents or not since he never gets any development whatsoever now that hes relegated to group mom

Everyone learns from their parents in one way or another. Steve called Jonathan “Queer” which is what makes it so ironic that fans claim he’s such a great ally and/or that Billy would hate crime them. Quite honestly, given the amount of homophobic rants I have to hear from teenager boys on a regular basis in the year 2023, it wouldn’t shock me if any of the beloved male characters were homophobic. I don’t see Billy as being more or less understanding, but I do think Billy just doesn’t care enough about other people to be out there committing hate crimes. The only time Billy cares what other people say or do is when it puts him at risk

[perpetual-dread-machine]

Big vent post, i dont have the brainpower to CW it

The sorrows of having pain on your shoulders that you cannot hold any longer. The type of pains you take to the grave. To have a single place you can untangle the long chain of pain is something most dont get the oppertunity to have.

I lost all hope in humanity sometime late last year, and have been trying to find a reason- any reason, to stay alive. i didnt eat if i wasnt at work, and i didnt sleep if it wasnt on my commute. I plunged myself into work when i lost a reason to live and all i have left of it is burnout, an empty bank account and a nic problem- my natural thought being if i couldnt die now id be fine taking years off my life for temporary solace.

I don't know why i cannot find peace in this life. Im beyond poor, have so few social skills i dont know how to meet other girls who'd be willing to put up with my shit long enough for me to befriend them let alone date, and often feel like a sore thumb when people who want to have me around bring me around people who live such wildly different lives.

Ive been off pain pills for close to 2 years now and my pain only gets worse with time, but i know how badly they ruin your life. Can't say much about smoking either beyond that.

Ive been overmedicated by quack doctors who throw more and more antidepressants at me when they only make it worse- and when i tell them what i needed i got a hand wave and an upping of dosage of mood stabilizers, cant afford medical treatment, cant find a job with consistent hours to feed myself, cant get financial assistance with housing or electricity because im already so broke the place wasnt up to code when i moved in- under the table shit, and got fucked up by a carbon monoxide leak.

It feels like an endless cycle, that if emotional pain wasnt enough in this world that my chronic pain makes it so i cant get a better job than the 8 hours every other week. So what do you do when facing that? The future is bleak enough im actually starting to worry if im going to make it.

I've lost my original will to live ages ago. Im praying i can find something to keep me here. Because even if its the tar of a cigarette, ill take that over the whirling dark of oblivion.

Maybe thats the addiction talking, maybe thats the truth. Im scared to face this world alone, but anybody who wants to get close i just push away. Its easier to push them away.

Its easier to push myself, away.

I dont want to be alive, and im scared.

This is the deepest darkness ive felt consume me in years.

Where do i find passion in my life again? It feels like everything will be a repeat of my past failures. And im doomed to end up in an abusive relationship like my dad.

Maybe if i just stayed with him and put uo with all his asanine shit id be in new york right now. A cozy apartment, obscene rent, rain on the window, lights illuminating the sky. Maybe we'd be happy now.

Probobly not. Id probobly have moved to new york then he'd have found a prettier tranny to top him before dropping me to the curb thousands of miles from home

Instead im here, in a world which i am in no way part of. Dragged along to experience the joys of friends, left feeling pointless and like extra baggage at every moment.

Maybe one day ill learn to accept that people care about me.

But why would they, i dont care about me.

Id be lying if i said starving myself felt bad. I like looking thin. I feel like im going to throw up all the time, food makes me actively repulsed, im weak and have no energy. Its totally worth it... Right?

This is why i fucking hated brat summer. Like every other good corperate faggot i got swept up in it, but something snapped in me.

Party every day when im bumpin that.

Like a bizzare and fucked up wet dream for anybody focused on nothing but vapid appearance based worth. But thats the nature of clubs right?

Maybe i am hot, i had old gay men buy me drinks and another weird queer fuck in my room at my house.

Maybe i am a piece of shit- free booze and guilt free sex with a loser who may have started stalking me, but its better than being alone. Right?

Is it better than being alone?

[willieswa]

Another note

For example: I was just out grabbing something and that same old man caught my eye and waved me across the street behind a park building where it was well-hidden from view. Of course, I knew what was going on and dropped to my knees as i came around the corner. Lucky too, because it allowed me to dodge a smack to the side of the head (he swung pretty hard, his deep, gravelly voice barking in a quiet half-whisper, though still authoritative, "knees faggot. and dont make a sound." He didn't need to even ask. He surprised me with how aggressive he was in facefucking me this time -- must have been horny. I had trouble deepthroating his redbull-can-thick cock; he took a good 20 minutes to cum, or thats my guess since he hauled 4 smokes in a row while I serviced him. (the longer he takes, the more frustrated... thus he hits me in the head harder and more often. Sucks). He likes to hold my head down all the way to the base when he cums (he was loud even though there was an adult mens soccer practice on the other side of the wall LOL. I know they musta been confused cause I know they heard him groan "SHIT" as loud as he did. Today he grabbed my jaw before i could pull his cock outta my throat and, unannounced completely, unleashed a massive stream of what I can only describe as "homeless man piss" judging by the foul taste and smell (though I didnt dare even sputter and swallowed every drop while he laughed hard, mocking me for doing it, and reminding me that im, in his words, "a goof cocksucker". And, spitting on my face as he put his dick away, he kicked me hard in the stomach and left, lighting another smoke as he turned around (Im shocked by the amount he smokes; fuck, he has a used-to-be-white full beard, messy and rough-looking, but also it is heavily yellow/nicotine stained, especially on the left where he dangles his smokes non-stop. I dont think I've ever seen him not dangling a smoke, honestly. I always make sure to stay knelt until the man leaves, as well as my standard, as I am directed to: "Thank you, SIR". I hate calling them SIR, feels like some gay shit, and I like to think I want to hold onto my straightness as much as I can despite the circumstances.... I keep reminding myself that despite what is going on, and how many times I gotta suck cock to keep myself in good standing, Im not gay by any means. When Ive handed over enough money to shore up this debt (it's a large number...) I can hopefully skip town where no one knows me as "the cocksucker".

Oh, and I know I'm sounding like I'm sexualizing my position.... I'm not if I can help it. If it helps to sell the idea further: he/his guests are told to make sure I dont "enjoy it too much"; as in, if I, rarely, get hard or chubbed even while Im servicing someone (which happens occasionally if theyre kind enough to let me smash bitch before I service them. I'm not gay. I say that again, with emphasis. Dont know if you can call it being broken in, y'know like a horse .... but I have started to associate servicing cock with being allowed to get high. It has me in a mindset where I am back and forth in a group of guys visiting begging them each in turn "may i please service your cock for a bit of dope SIR? Please?"

[goremet-chef]

its so cute i need to. ramble okay

in creatures of sonaria like. man. a year ago at this point? i made friends with someone and like. just by chance, they decided to add me to their pack and let me kill with them and like. I WAS NERVOUS im not known for. my social prowess 💀 but they liked me? and they added me as a friend and idk it was nice. like it was a group and i was kinda in the group? even if i was mostly quiet the whole time, i was still helping and covering for them yknow?

i didnt play for a while, i went from like. playing daily to playing monthly but i started playing again and i remember i think they invited me a few times to come play like with the roblox invite function but i wasnt online at the time and so. IDK i didnt think anything would come from it yknow? but. when i joined their server on accident, they added me to their pack immediately and said hi and im like SHOCKED. did i matter enough for them to like. feel the need to say hello to me and invite me to hang with them? IT. its happened more and more, i like to play with them whenever i can and i get nervous maybe im annoying them by joining them all the time but they always invite me and say hi, and its to the point where other people in the group also say hi to me and it

you must understand! im a fucking loser man, im not someone people get along with, im painfully awkward, i feel like an alien trying its best to act human okay. but it feels good, it feels like. NORMAL. we arent serious friends like i dont know shit about them, probably never will honestly i just like to wreak havoc with them. ive always been afraid of like. INFILTRATING a group, thats what it feels like!! whenever im accepted anywhere, im so terrified im latching onto false hope, im scared that im forcing my way in and im too happy to really see it. but. they say hi to me and they mess around with me and they JOKE WITH ME like. OKAY!!! im still quiet like 90% of the time but they know alright im busy playing the game, its not like i have much to say anyways!! its fun to be. social? like im too scared, fearing itll go so horrible wrong and bruise my already quite small and fragile ego, so when it goes RIGHT?? idk i just wanna. ramble about it cuz

i joined today and one of the other members said "YAYY looksee" and it. MY HEART... i like all of them cuz i hang out with them enough like. i really only talk to the one who has me added since they will actually say things to me directly but i feel like im opening up more? just a little, im still shy but. IDK knowing theyre like getting used to me? yay looksee?????? teehee!!!!!!!!! idk why it makes me so happy, i guess im easy to please if you show me the slightest bit of. positive acknowledgement im absolutely giddy. the bar is on the floor 💀 but i dont care!!

when have i ever made a friend on roblox? ive been called slurs and insulted and told to kill myself more times than anyone has ever like. tried to be my friend 💀 i get it, im not very welcoming, its not like i try to be. im friendly sure, but quiet, and if im in any sort of social interaction (which can range from someone speaking to me and not going away after they say what they wanted to say to literally just. something cute, like someone sitting with me or giving me some food) i cant handle it (i scream and close the game as fast as possible, my heartrate goes up im BREATHING HEAVILY IM SCARED... it was nice but. terrifying!!! i feel the obligation to stay and thats too big of a commitment OKAY... roblox creature you must understand)

ITS A LOT FOR ME OKAY.. and i mean. i know how my roblox avatar looks, ive been told its cringe enough times for one lifetime, im tired!!! i get it. catboy with a skirt ooo so scary. that boy is a faggot, yeah yell it louder at me.

the worst part about that is like. IT HURTS... i know i shouldnt care about what a child on roblox says to me in creatures of sonaria trade realm, but lord! it hurts. i dont socialize, ive had enough bullying!!!!! ive done my time IN SCHOOL. alright thats enough im good on the bullying. idk im just weak i guess I CANT HANDLE IT. im not good with confrontation, i wont come up with a witty response, ill just sit and wait for them to get bored from me ignoring them and leave me alone. ITS ROUGH. especially cuz its ALWAYS about my avatar, i look gay i get it, thats the point.

im a very like. ive spent TOO MUCH TIME kicking myself down over 'cringe' alright. i literally lost my interests and passion cuz i was scared of being cringe, wanted to fit in better. it made me MISERABLE. im very pro cringe i love it cuz? its only cringe if you suck, things that are 'cringe' i never find cringey even a little bit, cuz i like it when people are happy. but. i find it hard not to be a little embarrassed. its ROBLOX i get to look however i want!! i love silly roblox avatars okay, i dont want to be embarrassed about mine!!! im not a confident person, i wear it around because i like the image of this stupid catboy clothes on a very man shaped man alright looksee is my pride and joy i give him a little kis. but maybe they get the wrong idea? idk. i dont think so, i think they just dont like how i look. whatever. also my avatar matches with my friends really well so. its iconic to me!!!

still, like i said. its why i try not to play social games alone on roblox, im scared to be bullied i will admit 💀 if my friend was there, she'd tell them to kill themselves for me!!! but. shes not always there. i literally panic anytime someone runs up to me directly i sigh and say 'here we go again' cuz im waiting the imminent insults alright. IM TIREDDD so tired. they dont get him like i do. hes an avatar ive DRAWN before hes just an oc at this point, i wont ever change him cuz i like him but . sometimes it gets hard!!!

im so off topic here i just. NEED TO RANT A LITTLE cuz it. it does genuinely bother me but im too scared to like. VENT ABOUT IT to any of my friends cuz im absolutely sure some of them would roll their eyes, its just a game!! game is important to someone like me, game is the closest i come to like. living in a real social world, of course its important to me!! game is the easiest way for me to interact with strangers and not die of a panic attack immediately after 💀

WHATEVER im yapping i love to yap but. idk i just wanted to talk about it, im still so . it feels good to know that even if im weird and quiet, im not so weird and so quiet that people want to avoid me all the time. theres SOMETHING about me that they think is cool enough, like. well. i can overthink if i want to. maybe theyre adding me into their pack out of pity? maybe they dont actually like having me around but they feel too awkward to like. they feel like its gone too far now? in too deep? or maybe. im not as awful as i think i am!! maybe im weird and offputting but its okay :]

LISTEN. maybe this is normal for everyone else but its a big deal for me oky. ITS HUGE ACTUALLY. like just to have a mindless video game buddy? someone i dont even like. I DONT EVEN KNOW THEIR PRONOUNS BRO thats how little i actually converse with them but. like its not serious its just a little treat for myself, a little thing i can have. shaking like a chihuahua right now. its embarrassing to be so excited about it but. i dont do this sort of thing ever really, maybe im getting better? even if im not, ill still enjoy it

[kawaiicherryblossomperfection]

ew! ghetto likes cats ew! ghetto likes black ppl ghetto nasty ghetto twang ghetto nasty! ghetto twang geto real ghetto nasty ghetto stfu! ghetto leave choi yeonjun in the past and jisung too! nct dream? theyre ghetto get me high keeho yoon ew ur ghetto real ugly ghetto ugly ghetto fuck u bitch ghetto stfu and die dick and pussy is a phrase of words ghetto bitchs put ur dick on me rn and fuck off bitch no! im good on that front desarae! its boobs dick mcgee lava mcgee ur a mcgee? ew its magee u faggot rainer down upon the morning moonshine ghetto real real ugly ghetto twang ghetto real real ugly ghetto twang ghetto fuck u! stupid ass bitch u real ugly today get jiathon off of me i want u to put ur comfortable ase dick in my mouth u faggot bitchs ew! ur a cop ew! whats that? im a gang bang star and that is the real ghetto the suicide boys turning up!!! ew ur a faggot bitch? what the fuck bitch! we love turn up time ew ur a faggot rain? ur a fabric downer softner ew ur a faggot bitchs! thank u mafia but i go to high school public school university aka princeton high school no? shes a faggot rainer ew! u let the mafia ruin ur comic book? no its a manga! and i like her softeners wow! ur a pussy ew ur a faggot rainer! ew keeho is a downer bitch ass mother fucker bitch! i have chinese parents who love u like a child

ew! ur a faggot bitchs hahha i really do have parents who care about me? faggot rainer ew! shes not a boy shes q straight a student hahha ew! i have faggot friends and nopeA told u no parents are aloud to help u! faggot rainer ew! perfect? i said perfectly imperfect so thats why u cant find me here? ew shes had enough of this episode! so go home faggot britney spears - metamorphosis b is the best song in the world! again? ew faggot rainer! ur dead to me bc that song never left skateboarders are about to get words taken out of them again! ew she couldnt talk at all! ew im a dead god yes worship us! no u cant desarae does already ew! shes upset with me? i said something funny! ew she doesnt like me or set me up with bad skanks thank u again shes going home tomorrow night! ew the tension gave her w headache her braim didnt explode the tension got away ew its faggot aggression ew its just a magic trick! ew i got away with murder ew! i didnt ew! i didnt see u there? ew ur raping my eyebrows next! ew 5pm nvm! its faggot 5 o clock ew! i its 5 pm what the fuck babe? ew ur a faggot wretch! 7 am get me my my coffee cunt!

[hiilikeanimelol]

IM BACK BITCHES

Hi im oli! (He/it)

I am a bisexual, trans and intersex guy, I am 18 and in my first year of university studying policing

-also hi cute little side note, it's highly likely that I am autistic so tone tags are always appreciated because tone just makes no sense to me ♡

♡KIN LIST♡

Undertaker (BB) we have matching piercings finally!

Tomura shigaraki (BNHA) I love him

Viktor hargeeves (UA) his coming out scene made me weep

Mammon (OM!SWD) my love

Rook hunt (TWST) French man

10th,11th and 12th doctor (doctor who)

main fandoms that I will waffle on about are:

GOOD OMENS MY GIRLFRIEND GOT ME INTO GOOD OMENS AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT AND THEY SAID WE CAN GO TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY DRESSED AS CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE SHES SO SLSNSNSSNSBS

Doctor who

Twisted wonderland

Obey me

My hero academia

And

Attack on titan

Heartstopper

Umbrella academy

I am a massive music geek and am constantly listening to music, a lot of my playlists are made up of:

Random hand

KoRn

Slipknot

Green day

My chemical romance

Ricky Montgomery

Mitski

Waterparks

Metallica

Arctic monkeys

The virgin marys

CRASHFACE

A lot of the time I will waffle about my personal life too all of which will be under #ollie rambles

Any vents or rants will go under #ollies vents

Feel free to just block both these tags if you're only here for memes

I try my best to keep this blog organised but I've had it for a fucking while now, I lowkey want to start a new one thats organised but im afraid I've grown attached this blog over the time I've been active on it

I've made some amazing friends on this app and im always down for making more (heads up that I will be awkward for the first week of talking but then I'll settle down, social is difficult)

If anyone ever wants any other social media I have then feel free to send me a message or an ask and I'll give you my username in dm's, doesn't matter if we talk or not I just don't want my Snapchat and Instagram usernames out on tumblr

Little bit about me physically:

I have an industrial on my left ear and most of the time a silver skull hoops in my first lobes and skull studs in my seconds, I also have my helix pierced on my right ear which is also silver. I've got a silver septum which i have to flip up around familt because they told me i couksnt have it so i did it anyway lol. My hair is currently down to my chin (it needs cutting) and my roots are atrocious.

DNI IF YOU ARE

Racist

Homophobic / transphobic

Ableist

Sexist

Pro-life

Trump supporter

Believe MAPS are a part of the lqbtq

Are ginger /j

And also, do not come into my asks on anon and accuse me of faking ed's, self harm and suicidal thoughts. I have better things to fucking do then deal with your bullshit. Also don't just leave anonymous messages of

"She" "girl" "woman" "tranny" "faggot"

I have enough shit on my plate, go seek mental help xx

And also my dm's are open to anyone at all times, whether you just need a friend or if u want someone to talk to. I will never turn someone down if you want to vent or anything, ill listen to anyone about anything, if you want advice then I shall try my best and if you just want me to listen to get stuff off your chest then thats also fine.

If I think of anything else I'll add to this, ill make notes down here of when I update anything

~ the one and only oliver xx

Og post : 14/11/2021

First of many edits: I changed the physical stuff a bit 27/11/2021

Second edit: 04/01/2022

Third edit: age change 28/02/2022

Fourth edit: rewording and piercing changes 29/03/2022

Fifth edit: removed lost ear cuff in the physical description 16/04/2022

Sixth edit: added heartstopper into what I waffle on about 28/04/2022

Seventh edit: dyed my hair purple again!! 02/05/2022

Eighth edit: got second lobes pierced 17/05/22

Ninth edit: got helix pierced, hair colour faded baddddd, changed jewelery and added umbrella academy to intrests also added a current kin list 27/06/2022

Tenth edit: dyed my hair purple and got a silver septum ring and a silver lip ring 20/07/2022

eleventh edit: hair faded and im no longer a first year at college lol 23/08/2022

twelfth edit: got a job and dyed my hair red 08/09/2022

thirteenth edit: I'm now legally an adult 28/02/2023

fourteenth edit: updated my kin list from just the 10th doctor to the 11th and 12th too 15/03/2023

fifteenth edit: tone tag mention and changed my jewelry 04/04/2023

sixteenth edit: mm hair dye 16/04/2023

17th edit: I'm back! Still severely depressed but I'm here. been working mad hours and spent the last 7 days high with no breaks 08/08/2023

18th edit : got my septum pierced, broke up with my SHITTY ex and got with someone who treats me the way I'm supposed to be treated AND I've started uni 11/09/23

19th edit : GOOD OMENS EEK!! 17/10/2023

20th edit : got a mullet kinda thing and dyed it dark blue 12/12/2023

[shhhhyoursister]

75 thank you

75- “I want you to fight for me!” i got some sudden inspiration to write an angsty fic so im combining this with an ask that just said “ angsty davenzi fic?? :))) “ so yes!!! here you go!!! some angst!!!! i think i took this in a slightly different direction than expected so i hope thats okay!!!!! (tw: homophobia, transphobia, homophobic slur, discussion of discrimination)

It was somewhere between early and late on a Saturday night, and the boys had decided to go out to a bar to drink instead of sitting on Matteo’s couch like usual. They had found a booth that could fit them all (with Matteo and David squished together, and Matteo squished into Jonas), had each taken a shot or two, and then decided that sitting was too boring and went to find a pool table. 

They had been taking turns getting the drinks after the first initial shots, and the boys were all drunk enough that they were less playing pool and more just just smacking the balls around with the cues and laughing. David was grinning widely as Abdi knocked a ball into the pocket closest to him, and he smiled even wider when he felt Matteo drape himself over David’s back, his arm wrapping around David’s shoulder. David turned his head and kissed whatever part of Matteo was closest, and he felt Matteo smile into his shoulder blade. 

“I think it’s my turn to get the drinks,” Matteo mumbled into his shirt, “do you want to come with me?”

And it was tempting, with the way that Matteo’s hand was clenching into his shirt and his hair was tickling David’s neck, but Abdi handed David the pool cue with a challenge on his face, and who was he to turn down a challenge?

“How about the next one?” he said, turning his head so he could kiss Matteo’s head, and then he smirked into his hair and whispered, “or how about we get out of here soon? You look too good for me to not do something about it.”

He laughed when Matteo bit his shoulder and leaned in to kiss his cheek, whispering, “One more round then back to my place? Everyone else is out.”

“Sounds good, baby,” David reached up so he could squeeze Matteo’s hand, and then adjusted his grip on the cue when Abdi loudly and obnoxiously cleared his throat, “now let me beat these idiots’ assses.”

“We’re barely even playing, dude!” Carlos yelled from across the table, and Matteo just rolled his eyes and kissed David on the cheek again before going to get the drinks. David focused and set up the cue, and somehow managed to get three balls into pockets with one hit. Jonas screamed and high fived him, and declared the game over as nobody would be able to beat that move. Carlos and Abdi seemed to be too drunk to really care, and they all decided to go back to their booth. 

David realized that somebody should let Matteo know that they were moving, and realized that if he took on that responsibility, he’d get to see his boyfriend even quicker. He looked over to where Matteo was standing, and took a minute and let himself just stare.

It was a pretty casual night so he wasn’t dressed too fancy, but the simple sweatshirt and slightly tighter than normal jeans were enough for David, and he started thinking about how they had the whole flat to themselves, and the endless possibilities that came with that scenario. He was getting a little distracted, and the next time he refocused his eyes he noticed some tall, blond guy standing next to Matteo, facing him and chatting in a way that was obviously intended to be more than friendly.

And David got it, he really did. While Matteo himself never understood, and almost never really picked up on it, David could see why people would hit on his boyfriend; his ruffled, dirty-blond hair, blue eyes, and pink lips were eye-catching, and his small, sweet smile once he got started talking was to die for. David may have been a little bit biased, but he really got it.

Which was why his initial reaction was to just stand there and watch for a minute. He knew that he had nothing to worry about, so there was no harm in watching his boyfriend blush a little and mess with the hair hanging in front of his face. It was only when the guy took a step closer and the smile dropped from Matteo’s face that David tilted his head to the side, and started making his way over. 

He walked up to the bar with his arm already outstretched, and it wrapped tight around Matteo’s waist when he got to him. He turned to the guy who was standing much too close to his boyfriend and said, “Everything okay over here?”

The guy smiled tightly at him and David smiled tightly back, squeezing when, with too much familiarity the guy turned to Matteo and asked, “Who’s this?”

“I’m his boyfriend.” David said through his teeth, and the asshole raised his eyebrows. David watched his gaze flick down to his wrist, where there was a rubber bracelet with the trans colors that someone from his school had been handing out. He had meant to take if off before going out, and was kicking himself for his forgetfulness. He could tell from the sudden smirk on the blond’s face that he caught on quickly, too.

“Boyfriend? Yeah, okay.”

David tensed at the humor in the blond guy’s voice, and was suddenly hyper aware of how the interaction was going to go. Matteo hadn’t quite caught on, and was just staring between the two looking worried. David leaned back a little, pulling Matteo with him, but stood his ground.

“I think it’s time to go back to the boys, hm?” David said, and tilted his head towards Matteo, his eyes not leaving the blond man’s. He tightened his grip on Matteo when the guy scoffed.

“Oh, so you’re really just another faggot settling for monogamy? How boring.”

Matteo gasped a little at the word, and David immediately saw red. He knew that if Matteo wasn’t there and he was the slightest bit drunker he would’ve fucking decked the guy, but Matteo grabbed his arm and gripped it tight, his nails digging in a little.

“Okay, we’re going to walk away now. Have a great night, asshole.” And maybe David was testing it a little but he pulled Matteo away quickly, pushed him in front so if the guy came after them he’d reach David first. David turned to check but the guy didn’t move from his spot against the bar, except to raise a hand to cup around his mouth and shift his gaze to Matteo.

“Good luck with your freak boyfriend who doesn’t even have a dick to fuck you with!”

Matteo stopped and turned, and there was a look on his face that David had never seen before. He looked like he was a second away from either breaking down or fighting, but he was trying his hardest to stay calm. Matteo was staring straight over his shoulder and David could see him take a breath before smirking the tiniest bit and yelling back, “He’s got plenty, and he uses them better than you would!”

David didn’t know how to react to that, had checked out of the situation besides trying to keep them safe, so he just grabbed Matteo’s shoulder and gently pushed him in the direction of the booth with their stuff. David looked over his shoulder to make sure that there was no angry blond guy with a raised fist behind him, and Matteo handed him his jacket and he took it and put it on. He noticed Matteo talking to Jonas but couldn’t hear what he was saying over the sound of blood rushing in his ears, but then Matteo put a hand on his back and nudged him towards the door. 

He didn’t notice until he was outside that his right hand was in a fist so tight that his knuckles were white, and when he stretched his fingers out there were marks on his palm from his nails. He knew that he was still running too hot, so he took in a few deep breaths before turning to Matteo. He had been so focused on not flipping out that he didn’t think to check on his boyfriend, who was standing silently at David’s side.

“Well, that fucking sucked,” he said mostly to himself, and let out a long breath as he turned to face Matteo to ask, “are you okay?”

Matteo was staring at the ground, clenching and unclenching his fists and breathing a little hard. David tilted his head to the side and took a couple of steps towards him, and Matteo’s head lifted. David almost broke when he saw a few tears on Matteo’s cheeks, and he stepped forward to place his hands on Matteo’s face and wipe them away with his thumbs. 

“Hey, baby, it’s okay,” he said calmly as Matteo sniffled, all of his anger dissipating, “we got out, we’re safe, and we can just go home and pretend that never happened.”

“No we can’t,” Matteo huffed out, wiping a hand across his wet eyes and taking a step back, out of David’s space, “it happened. I don’t want to just ignore it.”

“What do you want to do then? We can go home and talk about it, if that’s what you want?” David took a step back too, and watched Matteo’s arms swing up to curl around himself. David bit his lip to keep from making a noise at their lack of contact, but he figured Matteo needed to not be touched in that moment. 

Matteo sucked in some air and nodded, and grabbed David’s hand tight in his own before leading him in the direction of his flat. They were quiet as they walked, as anytime he went to say something Matteo would tense up even more, so he stopped trying after a bit. David couldn’t stop his eyes from constantly drifting to Matteo, though, and hated how upset his boyfriend looked. He knew it was valid, and knew that if he himself wasn’t filled with so much anger over everything, he’d probably be just as sad. 

As they walked they both sobered up, too, so when they reached the flat Matteo immediately began rolling a joint, and David didn’t say anything. He could tell by the tremble in Matteo’s hands that he probably needed it to calm himself down, and while he knew it wasn’t a healthy way to cope, he wasn’t going to try to have that conversation right after everything that had happened. 

Matteo sat on his bed and took a few hits, barely moving the joint from his mouth. David sat next to him and took the joint when Matteo brought it up to his lips a fourth time, and took a couple of hits himself. It wasn’t something he did as often as Matteo, especially not during times of high stress, but he felt like he needed to do something with his hands, and smoking had the added benefit of causing the physical tension to drain from his body. Matteo took the joint from his lips before he had even started his third hit, and he didn’t argue. 

He kept looking at Matteo but his face was offering no insight to what he was feeling. The only tells were that his shoulders were tense, his jaw was set, and the fingers on the hand not holding the joint were slowly scratching lines up his arm. As gently as he could, David grabbed that hand and held it in his own, and Matteo gripped it tight before putting the joint out and turning to face David, his legs crossed. David mirrored his position, and watched quietly as Matteo played with his fingers.

“I…” Matteo started suddenly, but then stopped and took a breath before softly saying, “I really didn’t like that.”

“I know, baby, that was really fucking awful.”

“I can’t believe someone would say something like that. He was fucking flirting with me too, why did he think that was okay?”

“I doubt he thought it was okay, babe, I think he realized you weren’t going to go home with him and it made him mad.”

“So he calls me a slur? Like what the fuck?” Matteo dropped his head into his hands and rubbed them roughly over his eyes. David just sat quiet, knowing that Matteo needed to process everything as he was talking.

“And he’s gay too! Or at least he’s not straight. Why would he-- I just don’t fucking get it.” David watched Matteo’s hands curl into fists again, and he grabbed them when he noticed how tightly Matteo was squeezing them. He held them in his own as Matteo shook his head, staring down at their hands and sniffling again. 

“I don’t either.”

“And then!” Matteo sat up more and his eyes widened a little, “and then of course he had to say some shit to you. That was… I don’t know if I’ve ever felt angrier. Like I could handle him saying shit about me, I didn’t like it but I could handle it. But fuck, it took all I had not to fucking punch him.”

David couldn’t stop himself from smiling a little as he asked, “I thought you were against violence?”

Matteo looked at him like he was stupid and said, “It’s different. It’s you. I’ve never… felt as much about anyone as I do about you. And the idea of someone saying that kind of shit to you…” Matteo cut himself off and shook his head. 

“Damn, where have you been the past five or six years?” David tried to joke, but the sad tone in his voice made it fall flat. Matteo made a noise and pulled one of David’s hands up to his face so he could kiss the back of it, and then all of his knuckles. David smiled again and blushed a little, and Matteo set his hand back down with a sigh.

“I wasn’t there, but I am now. And I’ll punch anyone for you David, I mean it.”

“I don’t really think I want you doing that, baby, you might break your hand.”

Matteo let go of one of David’s hands so he could punch him in the arm, and David laughed and grabbed his hand back quick.

“What you said to him was pretty funny, though.”

Matteo smiled and excitedly said, “You thought so? I didn’t really think, I just needed to say something. As if I’d fuck that gross asshole when I have you.” David smiled back and squeezed Matteo’s hand before continuing. 

“I get it though,” he said, staring into Matteo’s red-rimmed eyes, “when he said that to you I- fuck. I’ve never actually hit someone or gotten in a fight, but I would’ve done it if he said anything else.”

“You should’ve,” Matteo said, a bit of a smirk on his face, and David couldn’t help but smile back as Matteo continued, “I want you to fight for me! It would’ve been hot.”

“I don’t think watching me drunkenly fight some asshole would be particularly hot.”

“Agree to disagree?”

David laughed at the hand that Matteo stuck out, but he grabbed it and shook it anyway, before lacing their fingers together again. 

“I don’t want either of us to fight anyone. I just want to be able to exist, you know? I want it to be okay for me to be trans and dating a boy, and I want it to be okay for you to be gay and  dating a trans person. Fuck, I really just don’t get why people care so much when it isn’t any of their fucking business.” David felt himself getting a little worked up, and Matteo squeezed his hands.

Matteo shoved himself back on the bed so he could lie down against the pillows, and he pulled David onto his chest. David let out a deep sigh as he shoved his face into Matteo’s neck, taking in a long breath through his nose that was all Matteo, and he felt himself calm down again. 

“It is okay. And yeah, maybe we need to be more careful when we’re going out, but there are lots of places we’re safe and we don’t have to worry. We have the boys, we have your flat, we have my flat. We have my mom, you have your godmother and Laura.” One of Matteo’s hands started stroking through his hair, and he felt himself relax even more, melting on top of his boyfriend. 

“I don’t want to be careful. I want to take you everywhere, Matteo, and I don’t want to have to worry.”

“It’ll be like that one day, and we can travel the world just to show off how functional and in love we are. It’ll be great.”

“Yeah?” David shifted so he was leaning on his elbow, hovering above Matteo with a small smile on his face. Matteo smiled up at him and grabbed his face to pull him in for a short, sweet kiss. 

“Of course. We have to spread the gay agenda somehow.”

David giggled and the sound made Matteo smile, and David collapsed back against Matteo’s chest.

“So now that our night is officially ruined,” David said, and snorted when Matteo squeezed him, “and now that we’ve had a big important talk about discrimination, do you want to finish that joint? And maybe cuddle and watch something?

Matteo was already shifting to grab the joint and the lighter as he asked, “Can it be something gay?”

“Of course, baby,” David said with a chuckle, “it can always be something gay.”

[caandlelit]

dabihawks...wait for it....fake dating au

this is actually so appropriate 

no ones done this

but u all know exactly whats coming

(hawks is a scholarship student sent to a high class college bc the board got jealous of this really smart kid’s quote unquote ‘wasted potential’)

(dabi is a rich abusive business man’s eldest rebellious punk rock son)

so. hawks is walking to his next lecture when he sees a flyer on a noticeboard

“HELP. I am in need of a fake boyfriend to help me piss off my homophobic father when i go home for a family dinner. bonus points if you’re a delinquent and blatantly, ridiculously homosexual. payment in the best cookies you will ever have in your entire life”

*hawks voice* sounds like my kinda gig

he contacts him straight away

‘im always ready to piss off homophobes’

he meets up with dabi to discuss details at some hipster coffee shop called “tomuras’”

and immediately thinks

‘fuck hes hot’

yeah he has weirdass burns on his face what about it 

he has a deep sexy voice and tattoo sleeves and so many piercings hhh

and dabi sees him and immediately thinks

“aw hell fucking yeah he looks so gay and twinky I really hit the jackpot”

bc hawks is literally perfect for this

he has red wing tattoos on his shoulder blades

constantly wears rainbow patterned tanks and halter tops in order to show off the afore mentioned tattoos

and has multiple snapbacks that say ‘IM GAY’ one of which he is currently wearing

does that not scream homosexual

dabi is fucking delighted

okay so they have to work out the details of their ‘relationship’

dabis like, what do u think would have happened for us to kiss kiss fall in love

‘okay so I was thinking that it would have happened at a shitty hipster coffee shop, and I dont wanna name an actual coffee shop so lets just make one up lets call it like tomura’s or smth-’

dabi sNORTS

*distant shigaraki voice from behind the counter* fUCK OFF YOU BITCH ITS NOT HIPSTER OR SHITTY

‘yEAH IT IS GO FUCK YOURSELF’

*coughs* ‘anyways.’ 

dabis looking at him so fondly he’s in LOVE

‘you turned around with ur coffee and bumped into me, and you thought I was so hot that u spilled it all over me‘

dabi: *deadpans* I dunno man I feel like it’d be the other way around im way hotter than you

hawks: *whispers* hell fucking yeah you are holy shit those arms are killing me

*amused dabi voice* what

*panicked, painfully cracking hawks voice* nothing

they go with hawks’ story

bc in dabis words

“its so gay he’‘ll hate it”

when the day of the family dinner arrives hawks is super worried that he’ll end up not being sweet enough to rei or mix up dabi’s sibling’s names or ‘not be gay enough’

dabis lying on his dorm bed and watches lazily till he gets tired of hawks freaking out and throws a pillow at him to shut him up

gay pillowfight montage

they hit each other with hawks’ obnoxiously big pillows till feathers are flying everywhere and theyre giggling breathlessly

queue gay moment 

hawks ‘hey we should practice kissing’

“mhm we have to perfect it so its believable yknow”

‘so can we make out now’

‘yeah lets just get right into-mmph!”

dabi and hawks end up half and hour later then they were supposed to 

id say they were looking rumpled as all hell

but honestly thats dabis default

and its bold of you to assume hawks wouldn't waste even more time getting ready

hes wearing a pink tank top that says ’blatantly homosexual’ and skinny jeans

dabis wearing a leather jacket with many many many pride pins of the bisexual variety and a queen t-shirt

gotta stick to them “dabi listens to mainstream rock music” roots

(hawks suggested he dye his hair pink purple blue but he ultimately decides against it much to hawks’ disappointment)

so they come in and meet rei 

her hugs are amazing and make hawks feel so small and protected and cocooned in her warmth is this what a parent feels like

fuyumi; hello if you hurt my brother I will eviscerate you

hawks: dw id eviscerate me too 

fuyumi, grudgingly: good answer welcome to the family

dabi blushin rn

natsuo: hey big bro, hawks bro *fistbumps*

shouto: *chugs gatorade and t-poses* sup’

hawks: wh

*dabi voice* o h m y g o d I said just dont freak out my boyfriend thats all I asked of u assholes and what do you do you go and freak out my boyfriend I am disowning all of you-

hawks is staring at him with motherfucking heart-eyes

and then the whole happy everything is destroyed by endeav*r coming back from work

dabi slings and arm around hawks waist and ignores his blush, insufferably smug

”hello father this is my homosexual boyfriend we are homosexual and have homosexual sex”

hawks belatedly realizes that shit, he really likes it when dabi calls him his boyfriend which is a problem bc theyre not actually dating

so hes lowkey freaking out on the inside 

but he still plays his part to perfection

‘thankyou for being so accommodating, let me take ur jacket sir, ill put it next to my rainbow colored one over here’

endeavor is so pissed

and its glorious 

dabi is beside himself with glee at the dinner table as he is surrounded by his siblings

natsuo slurping soba loudly while staring directly at his dickhead dad 

and his mom is aloofly tuning them all out while in intense conversation with his sister about how society is bullshit and businessmen are disgusting

while fuyumi is sneakily scratching her fork against her plate to make a screeching sound which makes endeavores eye twitch every twenty seconds

and he is sitting next to and playing footsie under the table with his newly discovered love of his life 

whom he should probably

definitely

ask out after this whole thing

who is seemingly oblivious to endivores glaring and talking to him about how he’s so happy that he accepts his son for being gay and being generally so supportive of ‘us faggots’

endthevore is fuming and its fantastic

dabi intertwines his fingers with hawks and smiles and continues where he left off in his one sided conversation with shouto whos nodding and slurping determinedly (*wipes tear* ”i taught him well”) about the homosexual agenda as hawks silently tries to appear as if hes not having a heart attack beside him 

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

[writeouttaluck]

This is a quickie. Partially inspired by my childhood and teen years.

Both Elementary and Middle school had hammered home the idea that people are shitty and that they will fuck you up at any given chance in any way they think of. I started spending more time by myself and away from people. The only time I ever left was to hang out with friends and even that seemed to be falling apart for me. It was rough, really. Ive known my friends were shitty for a while, but its what i got. Everybody else is either too stupid or weird for me to fit into. Not to mention the assholes.

Everyone in my class was a fucking asshole and they could suck a fucking dick if they thought i was about to drop years of resentment and turn the other cheek.

Fuck that.

Ill stick with the criminals. At least they can be fun.

After my first day of 7th grade, I felt about 3 feet tall and twice as exhausted. I had an inkling that it was depression. I did some looking online and thats what matched how i feel. Tired, lack of motivation, easilly upset by everything. It felt like i was loosing my edge and i cant say im too happy about that.

At the same time, it seemed that as one fire was being put out, another was being discovered. Something felt wrong. I was still angry as ever but it was different. I was more angry at the world than i was angry at a particular thing.

I was slowly realizing that things just arent gonna get better and if they do, it wont be for a long, long time. I was pretty much destined to do nothing with my life considering i wasnt smart enough to carry myself education wise. Ive needed help with a lot of things for as long as I remember.

It felt unfair. I was supposed to be such a smart person, right? Yeah what a crock of shit. It seems that adults have been lying to me about far more than just santa claus and the tooth fairy.

And right now I really felt like knocking someones teeth out of their head.

Like the universe had read my fucking mind, I heard a few pebbles get tossed at my window.

I got out of my chair and peered behind me. Out the window stood Dylan. He cupped his hands and shouted.

“Lets fucking go!”

I nodded and slid the bandana up my face. I grabbed my leather vest and walked out of my room, making sure to close the door behind me as quietly as possible. My mom was passed out on the couch again with the dogs laying beside her. I stared for a moment, watching her breathe heavilly in her unconscious state before i decided it was safe to sneak away. I practically slithered to the door before taking one more look back.

Mom layed facing the tv and away from me. I knew the dogs were gonna go apeshit as soon as the door opened and so i prepared myself.

Then like ripping off a band aid, I swung the front door open and hopped outside, swinging it shut behind me. They started barking like crazy as I thought they would and so I stepped down the stairs on my porch real fast and ran around to my backyard where Dylan was waiting.

“What took you so long?” he said to me as I caught up with him.

I didnt answer, deciding that answering him was just a waste of time.

We walked through our backyard and through the tall grass of the house that lived behind us. It happened to be on the market for years now and didnt seem to be selling anytime soon. That made it a great place to break into and hang out. It was a regular thing at this point. Although since the yard was so open and surrounded by other houses, we kept the hanging in there to a minimum.

“Dude, this fucking kid has been talking some mad shit about me recently.” Dylan started in, “Hes been talking to my girlfriend and saying some really fucked up shit to her. Saying what he wants to do to her and all this shit and I swear if I get my fucking hands on him…”

He spoke with gnashed teeth and a vein fit to burst from his neck. He said all this while looking at his phone screen. I could only assume he was looking at this guys facebook profile.

All at once Dylan turned back to me and showed me the phone screen.

“This fucking faggot. Im gonna fucking kill him!”

I looked at the photo and quickly recognized his name. That was the guy my girlfriend cheated on me with. I could feel my blood draw to a boil as i stared at him. I balled my fists at my side white knuckle tight. Each digit made an audible popping sound as they rolled up.

“You know this kid?” Dylan asked me.

I looked away from the phone and to dylan and nodded my head.

He nodded back at me in understanding and we both had the same idea in mind.

“Lets find this motherfucker”

…

After some talking and walking and all kinds of looking, we figured the easiest way to get this fucker out of his safe space was to have Dylans girlfriend bait him into coming to a secure location. We decided that under the bridge in town was a pretty good place considering that not many people know how to get to the path down under. We headed there and waited for the little bastard.

After a while of sitting around, it was about 9:00. The sun had gone completely down at this point and it was dark. There wasnt any foot traffic above for nearly an hour until we heard a bicycle rattle its way over the wooden slats. I nodded at Dylan and he ran over to the bushes to go hide while I stayed in the the open. I leaned on one of the concrete beams and crossed my arms.

This was going to be interesting.

“Bella! Psst, Bella!” I heard him whispering as he walked down the little hill. He waded past some real tall grass and walked out onto the smooth surface before he noticed me standing there.

“Uh...hi?” He asked, looking at me.

I stared at him and waited.

I watched as Dylan stood from the grass behind him and bolted in the guys direction. Dylan decked him from behind in the back of the head and he stumbled foreward, falling on his hands.

That was my cue.

I walked over and pulled him up to standing level. He had his eyes squinted shut and teeth together. That punch definatly hurt.

Not taking time to hesitate, I held him infront of me with my hand around his mouth and holding his right arm behind his back.

“So, you think youre hot shit, huh?” Dylan said standing over him.

He drove a fist into the guys gut and I struggled to hold him as he doubled over in pain. I snapped him back into place as dylan got into his fighting stance. He stepped over and punched him across the face hard. It was the kind of hit that would leave a bruise the size of an apple. I felt the guy breathe heavier, and tears hit my hand that was still clamped over his mouth.

Dylan reared back again and swung, hitting him right in the teeth. The guys head rolled back a bit at the force of the hit. Im suprised that didnt knock him out.

Than dylan got a start and drove his foot square into his gut. The guy moaned in pain under my hand.

Then the guy did something balsy. He bit right down into my hand, hard. My instant reaction was to let go of his mouth and suddenly he pulled his arm away too. He tried making a dash for it but my anger had flared at the pain. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him back hard into the rocks and gravel at my feet. He flew into the rocks face first and tried getting back up. I grabbed his belt and tossed him again, swinging his face into the rocks once more. At this, I didnt wait to see if he was gonna get up again. As soon as his head was raised, I crouched to his level and put my hand on the back of his head, slamming his face into the sharp rocks again. He yelped a bit in pain so I flipped him over and clamped my left hand around his throat. I squeezed like I meant it and closed off his wind pipe. He looked up at me in pity as he choked. I picked him up off the ground a bit and slammed him back down. I brought my right up like a big ass flesh hammer and brought down hard on his face. I raised it again and smashed him in the face again.

Once I saw the color start to drain from his face, I let go of his throat. He coughed and gasped for breath he desperately needed. I saw something move quickly out of the corner of my eye and brought my arm up to sheild my face. Dylan pelted a handful of sharp rocks at the guys face before following it up with another hard punch. Once I knew dylan had this, I stood up and brushed myself off.

Dylan crouched to his level and looked him in the eyes. Than he did something that actually shocked me. He produced a knife from his pocket and flipped it open real fast in front of the kids face.

Holy shit, was he actually going to kill him?

Dylan brought the knife up and dragged the dull side of the blade down the guys face, who now was so terrifyed that he had full on tears streaming down.

Right as I imagined dylan jabbing the knife through his eye, He stopped just short and whispered real low.

“You come near my girl again or If I hear you talking shit about me around down, Im gonna come to your house and kill you and your whole familly. Do you fucking understand?”

The guy just looked at him in fear.

“DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!?!” He shouted in the guys face.

He quickly nodded out of fear.

Than Dylan clamped his hand on the guys face and shoved him back to the ground.

I got up as did dylan and we both started walking back to the top of the bridge. Once we got up there, we saw the guys bike parked next to the bench without a lock. So Dylan kicked the peg up and started walking it over the bridge.

At first I thought maybe Dylan was gonna steal this guys bike but that didnt seem like something he would do. Then we got to the mid point in the bridge and he stopped walking. I stopped too. He suddenly grabbed the bike by the middle and flung the whole damn thing over the edge like a big ass frisbee.

It dropped for a second before we heard it smash into the water below.

“That will teach that fucker…” Dylan said.

…

[h4ppy-kn1ght]

One through One hundred

LOL…ok i’ll do these first then EVERYTHINg else.

7. Do you have any pets?

Yes, I currently have one- it’s a three-legged dog named Baci.

13. What talents do you have?

I wouldn’t really say I do outside of casually drawing and food making

32. How big is your house?

It’s about 2,500 sqft - one floor so it’s ok but not really that big or spacious

Thanks for asking

—————————

1. What is you middle name?

NO NO NO

2. How old are you?

Early 20s

3. When is your birthday?

12/13

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

Maroon usually

6. What’s your lucky number?

I can’t say I really have one tbh

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

Brazil (Rio)

9. How tall are you?

two inches above average for what I am

10. What shoe size are you?

7.0-7.5 US at most

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

At least in the double digits, hopefully not more than 25 pairs of shit?

12. What was your last dream about?

I actually don’t remember!

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

No  lol

15. Favorite song?

I have several, mostly weird/niche

16. Favorite movie?

I have several, mostly weird/niche (yes its the same answer as 15)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

I never thought about it because I don’t really know what I need.

18. Do you want children?

Alot of the time, not really- but I’m also too young/busy with myself to want it now

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Not really,unless my partner really wants it.

20. Are you religious?

Not really :/

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

A good amount of times

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not that I know of- at least the mainstream limelight sorta way.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers easily

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any atm but the last pair i was wearing was like- black and white?

26. Have you ever been famous?

no….? 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Depends for what reason but sure, why not

28. What type of music do you like?

Electronic, ambiance, indie, rock, musical-like kind of- really depends

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no and i dont plan to lol

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Fetal/one my side or on my back usually, stomach too sometimes

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Usually something with eggs and milk- I have been really inconsistent with what I eat for breakfast atm

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yes 

35. Have you ever tried archery?

No 

36. Favorite clean word?

uhhh…? Cocoa? I dont know LOL

37. Favorite swear word?

Faggot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

21 hours..? I was doing hw overnight.

39. Do you have any scars?

Very tiny amount but nothing noticeable unless you’re trying to find them actively

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

yeah.

41. Are you a good liar?

Not really

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Depends, wouldnt say I own the truth

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not unless its bad so not really

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Some people have told me I have one but i dont think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

I wouldnt say I have a favorite its not something I care about actively- I know the ones I dont like though.

46. What is your personality type?

I dont really know I feel like people have a different perspective of that and idk who i really am usually

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I had a jacket from Ferrari but idk what happened to it- not sure 

 48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Thankfully innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

No

52. Favorite food?

I almost never have a problem with milk-related food

53. Favorite foreign food?

Alot ..? really depends on my mood but sushi usually works for me

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I’m personally very hygienic and my room imo is well kept- not OCD organized but theres nothing on the floor  and it has a sense of order

55. Most used phrased?

Really can change so idk - just depends on the season really

56. Most used word?

uh/idk/fuck/shit i think is what i abuse

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Really depends but assuming im showering and trying to look nice about 45 mins at worst?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck and then bite when its too small

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Rarely and its usually about shit i need to do- thats it really

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Not USUALLy  but yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

no lol

63. Biggest Fear?

Failing 

64. Are you a gossip?

depends but yeah i can be sometimes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk I thought inception was very dramatic

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Depends, if the long hair isnt well kept/cleaned it might as well be short imo

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not because I forget most of them

68. Favorite school subject?

P.E

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introverted 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Yes, I dont care for it

71. What makes you nervous?

Being shat on I guess and treated poorly or anything that’ll fuck me over

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Depends, if the area has sharp objects/cockroaches, creepy noises yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends but usually no unless it really bothered me or they want to hear me

74. Are you ticklish?

Depends but yeah i dont like being tickled it is not comfy

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No lol

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Not really

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Barely 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some ginger who literally had ODD and hurt me badly after I showed interest back

80. How many piercings do you have?

one pair is closed up , so just one pair.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yeah

82. How fast can you type?

Id say above average , probably enough to type for a job or something

83. How fast can you run?

I have no idea tbh

84. What color is your hair?

Dirty blonde/almost brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Greyish seagreenish blue

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing as far as I know

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

They’re both in the medical field

89. Do you like your age?

Idk not really? so far its lame?

90. What makes you angry?

Some shit i aint gonna talk about, but in a more personal sense usually being shat on, lied to upfront, etc

91. Do you like your own name?

It’s ok ..? idk if it deeply reflects me

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really LOL

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

With how shit the world is idk , seems like an L either way and im scared of having an ugly one

94. What are you strengths?

Id say I can tolerate more than normal people and my patience can be really plentiful usually. I dont get easily offended even if i dont agree usually

95. What are your weaknesses?

I think people influence my mood throughout the day, which really sucks, im also sensitive and i feel excluded usually

96. How did you get your name?

My mom thought it was a strong name

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No

98. Do you have any scars?

39 already asked this, cringe

99. Color of your bedspread?

Grey :)

100. Color of your room?

Very tinge of color but it looks pretty much grey and expresso minus the lil decor everywhere…

thank yuo

[tfnn-tagwen]

Imagine being those old faggots and their grandkids wasting their lives shopping and working at walmart, flexing rentals and leases cuz they cant afford a finance. Imagine thinking i will ever do anything different within eye sight and ear shot of other humans. I wont. Im not going to strive to be better than I am now until this world proves its mature enough too let go. Thats entirely up too this world. You can either let go to get what you want, or sit their play pretend wasting space trying to get noticed or influence. At the end of the day though, none of what anyone else does truly matters too me. It may anger me, but seem important you never will no matter what you do. Your need to be an important figure shows how sad your life really is. You might see that as hateful or evil, but thats because you fail too understand that some people you just simply need too let go of. Anything forced or swayed is everything but good for myself.