#im just kidding im feral for literally all of them

[deoidesign]

47 episodes later

I am completely normal

(webcomic)

[birdinabowl]

god this fic was so mean to Connie (it was for character development though)

[sturnlsstuff]

MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo

| ".... god, i hate that i missed you so much"

pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader

summary: your dealer has been out of town for almost two weeks and after he's finally back, he texts you needing to see you.

warnings; smut, dom!chris, sub!reader, p in v, pet names, praising, unprotected sex, dirty talking, hair pulling, rough sex, car sex, crying, public¿ sex, cursing, mdni

a/n: literally my first fanfic after a looong time so please bear with me, if its bad... you know why. english isnt my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also its a little long 😭 part two here !!

~~~

she laughed at some joke her friend made and took another bite of her pizza. it was late friday afternoon, she and her bestfriends were hanging out, since there was nothing else to do. everything was great, until her phone buzzed. she looks at her screen, immediately smiling when she sees his name. she wasn't even aware that her lips had curved into a smile.

her friends were too busy with their own conversation, so she uses her moment and grabs her phone, reading the message from chris. she hasn't heard from him in over two weeks, she had no clue what he was doing, or where he was. she also didn't want to ask, hating the feeling of being too desperate. and it's not like he owns her any explanation either.

chris: u busy?

she bites her lip, fighting the urge to smile again as she replies back.

y/n: hi to you too

y/n: yeah im out with friends, whats up

chris: having fun?

chris: when u gonna be home ma?

y/n: like in an hour or so

chris: can u hurry up? c'mon kid i miss ya

y/n: you do???

she can't help but genuinely grins this time, her eyes widen a little. did he miss her? or was he just saying that to make her give in? he always knew how to talk to her, to make her going feral over him. but she wanted to believe he means it this time.

chris: hell yeah i do

chris: get ur ass out here

she looks at her friends, that were still yapping about something, that she couldn't care less about right now. she needed to see him. he never said he missed her before.

y/n: then come pick me up, im sending u the address

chris: omw gorgeous

chris is already in his car, when she sends him the address. not being able to see her for over two weeks, made him think. A lot. he has been her drug dealer for over a year now, there was tension between them since the beginning, so it didnt take them long to finally fuck at some party a few months ago. and since then, it's happening every now and then, usually they meet to smoke together, then they end up all over each other.

after a few minutes, he parks the car in front of the pizzeria, finally seeing her. she made a stupid excuse for her friends to leave, not being able to hide her excitement, so they just could assume what was going on.

chris gets out of the car, looking her up and down, licking his lips as she was only wearing a black crop top and baggy camo pants. he personally loved those, especially on her.

he opens the door for her, a smirk playing on his lips. "get in."

she tried her hardest to act casual, but just seeing him after a while, in all black outfit, was enough to make her dizzy. and she could swear he got a haircut. his hair was so much shorter, and she loved it.

she smiles, keeping the eye contact while getting inside the car. he closes the door, his eyes roaming all over her body as she walked towards him. he snaps back to reality, getting to the other side and climbing back into the drivers seat. he was feeling so many things that he couldn't express.

"missed me so bad, you couldn't wait an hour, huh?" she speaks up, putting on the seatbelt and looking over at him, while he starts the car.

she notices the way he looks her up and down, his eyes stopping at her exposed skin a little too long.

"i've missed my favorite customer." he smirks, going back to the eye contact.

"yeah, your favorite customer... right." she says sarcastically, trying her hardest to keep her cool and not to blush under his stare.

he grins before replying, focused on keeping his hands on the wheel instead of her body. it was getting harder with every second. "yeah, the one i always gotta give free stuff to."

"oh, dont act like i force you to do this..." she scoffs, still looking at him. "you know i always want to pay you."

"i know y'do... doesn't mean i will stop givin' it to you for free though."

"see, and that's crazy."

chris rolls his eyes, loving and hating at the same time, how she always had to talk back to him. he's driving, planning to go to her house, but the way she's looking right now, and especially her attitude, is making him crazy. he feels his dick getting harder with every second.

"whatever, ma. i know you secretly like it."

"yeah, sure." she mumbles with sarcastic tone, her eyes still watching him. seeing him driving was one of her favorite things in the world, he always looked so good. she appreciates, that he gives her stuff for free or cuts down her prices, but dealing was his job, he was making money out of it, so she always felt bad when he didnt want her cash. "what made you busy for so long? thought the cops caught or some shit"

chris bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to her for a second, before focusing back on the road. he never felt so desperate like right now, just having her in his car like that...

once he hears her question, he snaps back to reality and smiles. "the cops? please, sweetheart, they can suck my dick."

chris changes his direction, spotting an empty parking lot and he drives there. "i was out of town, had to deal with some business... nothin' to worry about now." he explains, parking and turning off his car, and his stare travels to her, scanning her face and body. "you're so curious...."

she nods, now understanding why he wasn't texting her these past two weeks, she was a bit ashamed 'cause she honestly thought maybe he got bored of her, so she didn't text him either. she still got some weed until yesterday, so she also had no reason to.

"why would you stop here?" she asks, looking at him with a little frown, but once she sees his smirk, the realization hits her. the excitement filling her body, the tension between them so noticeable, it makes her shiver.

he stares at her for a moment, adjusting his pants and then suddenly he unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back in his seat so there was more space now.

"c'mere."

her eyes travels down on his lap, seeing the noticeable big bulge even through his jeans. she blushes slightly, looking back at him, the smirk still playing on his lips and it makes her weak in her knees.

"chris..." he cuts her off by reaching over and grabbing her chin, tilting her face closer to his.

"y'gonna do what i said, or keep talking back?"

she immediately unbuckles her seatbelt, moving over the center console and she gets into his lap, straddling him. she wasn't gonna act like she didn't miss him too, because, goddamn, she did. she presses herself onto his hard dick, watching him closely, and seeing how desperate and frustrated he was right now. It made her feel a little bit of a power, that she decided to take advantage of.

"now, was that so hard, ma?" he smirks even more, trying to hide his growing need for her, but his hands moves to grip onto her thighs. he felt the urge to touch her all over.

"you know, fifteen more minutes and we would be at my place-"

"you really think, i would wait fifteen fucking minutes, when i havent seen you for two weeks, and you look like that?" he loves the way she looks at him, with such admiration. she was so pretty in his eyes, he never felt this type of desperation for anyone ever before.

"and who's fault is that?" his hands grips her tighter and puts her closer in on his lap, making a little bit of friction, that he so desperately needs. his fingers digging into her skin, while he stares into her eyes.

"shut up for once, yeah?"

"make me." she smirks, challenging him. he doesn't have to hear it twice, loving the attitude she's giving him right now. his hand moves up from her thigh to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer and he kisses her roughly, grabbing her ass with his other hand as he does.

she smiles against his lips, immediately kissing him back with the same intensity, and she grinds down against his clothed dick, feeling her own need growing with every second. she missed the way he kissed her, she missed his lips, his hands all over her, his body against hers. she missed him and she hated to admit that.

she slides her tongue into his mouth, he bites her lip in response and lets her lead the kiss. moving up his hips to feel her more and not being able to hold back, he groans against her lips. he never felt so needy before. he pulls away for a moment to speak, and starts trailing kisses down her neck, squeezing her ass, before his hand moves up, caressing the skin on her exposed stomach.

"god, i hate that i missed you so much."

it slips from his mouth, he doesn't think much about it as he sucks on her skin, but for her it meant everything. she tilts back her head, giving him more space and she grinds against his lap some more, running her hand through his brown hair. he lets out a growl as she grinds down on him, making him even harder and he bucks his hips up again. lifting up his head from her neck his stare finds hers, the noticeable lust in his eyes made her bite her lip to hold back a moan. the smirk coming back to his face once he notices her flushed cheeks.

"what 'bout you, huh, ma? missed me too?"

she closes her eyes, their face so close to each other, it makes their lips brush when she replies him back.

"yeah... i did"

he grins, his hands playing with the waistband of her pants. that's all he needed to know, that she missed him as much as he missed her. even though they both were aware, they should'nt.

"how much, hm?" he unzips her pants, she lifts herself up, gripping his shoulders to balance herself and helps him take them off. then she straddles him again, trying to hold back her smile, but not being able to.

"want me to show you?"

he groans after her words, feeling her wet panties pressing against his hard dick and he bucks up his hips again, being so desperate, that he was ready to beg her. he starts marking her neck again, his hand traveling between her legs, massaging her clit through her underwear. her breath hitches in her throat, she lets out a little whine and grips his hair slightly.

"so wet already... shiiiitttt... all this f'me, huh?" he says against her skin, bitting on it slightly and making her moan. he adds more pressure, circling over her clit. "lift this shit up."

his tone demanding, he wasn't asking. she lifts up her top, revealing her breasts. he looks at her now, his eyes going back and forth between her tits, and her face. "fuck... not wearing a bra? fuckin' slut..."

he licks her hard nipple, then starting sucking on it. her hand tightens in his hair, tilting her head back and she lets out more whimpers. she was supposed to be the one in control this time, she craved it and saw how needy he is, but the way he's touching her, makes her losing her mind. he then pulls her panties to the side, running his fingers through her wet folds and suddenly putting one inside her. not even giving her any time, he just starts pumping in and out, adding another finger after a moment, now stretching her out. he pulls away from her nipple, looking at her face.

"c-chris..." she moans quietly, trying her hardest to keep the eye contact, but struggles to do so. her hands now traveling down his chest and unbuckling his belt.

"yeah, ma? y'like that?" he tries to keep his cool, still working his fingers inside her dripping pussy, curling them and making her whine in response. "look at you... so, fuckin' desperate on my lap. missed my fingers, huh? want some more?"

she desperately nods, squeezing around his fingers, but once he feels that, he pulls them out immediately putting them in his mouth to lick them clean. she whines, pouting her lips when he stops.

"show me how much you missed this dick then."

she bites her lip, unzipping his pants and with his help, she pulls them down to his knees, his boxers following after a second. chris leans his head back against the seat, gripping her hips as she gives him a few strokes before pulling her underwear to the side. she runs her thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and spreading it all over his cock, using it as a lubricant and then she lowers herself slowly on his cock, the movement making them both moan out loud with pleasure. she stays like this for a moment, needing to adjust after these past two weeks without him.

"fuckk...so tight...your pussy was made f'me.." he groans, tightening his grip on her hips and he watches her closely, as she finally starts moving on him. he’s holding himself back from moving up his hips and taking over, trying so hard not to thrust into her. he loves the feeling of her body against his and he’s missed it so much. he needed it, he needed her and he hated that. the feeling just kept growing, making the space in the car feel even smaller.

he pulls her back down into another kiss, this time more sloppy, continuing to move his tongue against hers, tasting her. she kisses him back, starting speeding up her pace and now bouncing on him harder. his dick hitting just all the right spots, making her moan loudly while chris tries to focus on the kiss and not to lose his composure. he wanted to take over, he always did, but the feeling of her riding him like that, has him gripping the seat. he grits his teeth, trying to keep himself together and he knows his patience wont last long. he looks up at her again, his eyes glued to her face.

"fuckkkk, ma.... takin' all of me so well... shit..." he hisses, when she speeds up even more. "so good.... s-so good f'me...."

she grips into his shoulders more, moaning loudly at his praises and she continues moving. chris is in complete ecstasy as she picks the pace up, a feeling like he hasn’t experienced before. there's just something about her on top and taking what she wants, that's got him feeling so many things at once.

“fuck.. just like that” one of his hands grab her ass, giving it a squeeze and then slapping it. "fuckin' slut... you like it? fucking in my car? takin' it just like a little bitch.... yeah? shitttt..."

he moans now not being able to hold back, and he starts thrusting into her. she gasps for air, her eyes closing shut as she tightens around him. "oh, wanna cum, huh? not yet darlin'...." he grips her hips more, his tip hitting her g-spot with every move.

"chris i-"

she cuts herself off with another moan, not being able to think straight. she digs her nails into the back of his neck, her head falling down on his shoulder and he immediately stops. her eyes snap open, she lifts up her head to look at him, a smirk playing on his lips.

"you better don't look away f'me, ma.... wanna see your pretty face y'know? and keep makin' those sexy little sounds...got it?"

she nods, but it's not enough from him as he speaks up again. "use your words baby, c'mon... you aint that fucked out of your mind yet, hm?"

"i got it, just... please..." she whines, moving her hips, wanting to bounce on him again, but he stops her. she pouts. "chrissss......"

"get to the backseat." he demands, after scanning her face for a while. he wanted to give her all the pleasure she deserves. he wasn't even thinking about himself, he couldn't care less about his release. he just needed to make her feel good, making sure no one else can do what he can.

she pulls away from him, now moving over the center console again, struggling a bit but she gets into the backseat. chris obviously smacks her ass as she does, what makes her squeak.

"chris!"

but he just smirks, pulling off his pants and boxers all the way down and throwing it on the passenger seat, so it wasn't in the way. he gets on the back himself, there was little space, but enough to get into his favorite position. chris puts his hand on her back, forcing her to get on her knees and hands on the seat, as he positions himself behind her. chris loves the way he can get her all desperate and begging, so he teases her now. he moves his tip along her folds, making her whine. then he slowly puts it in, but after a few seconds he pulls back again.

"chris...." she whines, knowing he's playing with her now.

"yeah, baby?"

she bites her lip, her face pressing into the seat and she lifts up her hips more. "stop teasing me, please...."

he grins even more, slapping her pussy with his dick and then he suddenly pulls his cock all the way in, making her gasp and scream out of pleasure. the new angle let him hit all of her sweet spots.

"whatever you want, princess." he starts thrusting into her with a very intense and fast pace, going as deep as he could. the car now filled up with her moans and the sounds of skin slapping against each other. he grips her hips tight, keeping her in place. he can feel her squeezing around his cock again, and he lets out a growl. "c'mon.... cum all over me...wanna see you while y'do..."

chris moves one of his hands, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, having a good view on her face. her mouth wide open, letting out loud moans, her eyes rolling back.

"oh my god!" she cries out, gripping the edge of the seat like her life depended on it and she releases, the wet, squelching sound coming from her now louder. he groans, kissing her neck and whispering into her ear.

"you feel so good... cummin' like that f'me... such a good girl.."

she moans, squeezing around him again, the overstimulation now making her shiver as he keeps going with the crazy pace, not slowing down at all. he lets go of her hair, her head immediately falling onto the seat and he grips by her hips again, making sure she feels him as deep as he wants her to. he growls, being on the edge himself.

"i'm... close.." he mutters, throwing his head back. "gonna fill you up, yeah?"

she whines nodding desperately, but then he smacks her ass giving her a sign to answer verbally.

"shit! yes, fuck, yes chris, please!" she feels tears filling up her eyes from the pleasure, a few of them coming down her cheeks moment later. chris bites his lip, feeling her tightening around him. he moves one of his hands between her legs, now rubbing her clit, while still thrusting hard into her, but his movements getting sloppier. she cries out, her legs trembling and his dick twitches, finally cumming inside her, his warm sticky release filling her up and dripping out of her. he curses under his breath, digging his fingers into her skin, leaving bruises as he does. she feels him cumming, and the overstimulation from him lazily massaging her clit and still hitting her g-spot, makes her finish again. the pressure in her stomach now becoming too much, unable to hold back, she feels the liquid squirts out of her in waves.

his eyes snap open, looking down at her and he growls. he slows down until he eventually stops, after they both ride out their highs, this time not wanting to overstimulate her. looking at the mess she made, he can't help but feel a bit cocky about it.

"shit, ma.... squirtin' all over me, huh? is it how it is now?" he smirks, a little surprised that he made her do that but he couldn't be more proud. he pulls out of her, letting go of her hips and her body immediately falls onto the seat. she's breathing heavily, not being able to reply yet. "that's my fuckin' girl.."

he runs his fingers along her inner thigh, collecting her and his cum and he leans in a bit, covering over her. he looks at her fucked out expression and the smudged mascara on her cheeks. "look at me."

she opens her eyes, her mind blank, body shaking. he puts his fingers into her mouth, she immediately cleans them up, tasting both his and her release on her tongue, making sure she keeps the eye contact with him while she does that.

"you're so hot." he says now kissing the tears on her cheeks away. "took me so well..."

she smiles, seeing his flushed cheeks and messy hair sticking to his forehead. it was her favorite view.

"y'good, kid? don't go all mute on me now.."

"don't call me that...." she mumbles, trying to get her sarcastic attitude back, but she was absolutely spent right now. "i'm fine."

he just grins, gently patting her cheek before he pulls away. she slowly lifts herself up, trying to fight her trembling legs and she sits up now, facing him. not being able to do anything more yet, her glare moving to her legs and the seat she made mess on. she feels her cheeks growing hotter, now suddenly embarrassed and trying to ignore his stare. this never happened to her with him before and she didn't know what he thought about it.

"sorry about... the seats" she mumbles, grimacing.

he raises his eyebrows, now seeing her embarrassment and he doesn't understand why. it was a little surprising but he felt so proud. he already wanted to make her do it all over again. "you f'real? don't even say sorry, ever again."

she's still not so sure, blushing even more as he wipes her cheeks from the smudged mascara and then runs his hand through her hair, trying to fix it a little bit. he smiles softly. "gonna clean this up later, don't you worry 'bout that, okay?"

chris then reaches into the center console for the tissues, grabbing them and spreading her legs with his hands. she watches him closely seeing how he starts just gently cleaning her up. this simple movement makes her feel the heat rising from her cheeks down to her neck, so she just covers her face with her hands shyly. not really being able to understand why is she so embarrassed this time, he grabs her wrists, forcing her hands to move away from her face.

"y'gotta be kiddin' me. don't hide from me, ma." chris mutters. "not when you made such pretty mess in my car."

with a quiet sigh, she lets him take her hands off of her face. she chews on her bottom lip nervously while he goes back to cleaning her up, touching her slightly as she was made from some kind of glass. it was even cute, how he just made sure she was fine. it's not their first rough sex, but this one was definitely more intense and for some reason felt so... different. she had this strange feeling in her chest, just seeing him focused on wiping her legs and how he didn't seem to care about his covered in her release seats. once he's done, he sits beside her, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and pulling her close. she doesn't like the silence, even if before it was never awkward, this one was bothering her as she couldn't stop feeling unfamiliar emotions.

"i ran out, by the way." she suddenly blurts out, making him laugh. there was no way in hell this girl was real.

"yeah? good to know. gonna give y'some more later."

"im paying this time."

"oh, you've paid enough already." she immediately looks up at him, smacking his shoulder and he chuckles in response, pretending to be in pain. "woaaahh, bein' a little brat again, hm?"

"that's not funny, im giving you money." her tone shows no objection, he smirks and nods, knowing he won't take anything from her anyway. they sit like that for a moment, before he speaks up, knowing he will get another hit after that.

"soooo... round two?"

"christopher, i swear to god."

_____________________________

a/n: oh my god this seems sooo long 😭 tell me what yall think, i feel like i kinda fucked up with the whole dealer vibe but lmk please! i honestly enjoyed writing that so who knows..

[sunbratz]

listen i will not be the person to judge someone new in a fandom bc i get that but if you are getting into south park and uve only watched episodes from like season 20 to the newest oh my god ur missing out so bad

[waves-against-a-cliff]

The thing you did that made the 141 men think 'Im gonna marry them'

Content Warnings - Fluff. Sexual themes but no smut.

Gaz - It's cliche really. But he loves it when his partner can eat. Maybe not all the time, not all types of food. Maybe it's literally one specific thing you can eat pounds of. Whatever it is, he had taken you to a buffet and watched with hearts in his eyes as you devoured it. Not in a feederist kind of way but in a... Breeding sort of way. Doesn't matter if you lack the actual parts, can't get pregnant due to birth control or other outside forces. He thinks to himself, "I'm gonna marry them." Doesn't even realize hes thought it until he hears it in his head.

Price - He saw you rush across a busy street (he nearly had a heart attack) and stop traffic because you saw a pair of turtles trying to cross the street. Carefully you picked them up and placed them to where they were heading to. You even waved and said goodbye to them. Your kindness made him smile and chuckle. He realized then he wanted to marry you.

Soap - You were playing with his nieces and nephews at a family party. Chasing them around and playing their games. Laughing and sneaking some more dessert. He loves seeing you with kids, his eyes are on you all night and he thinks, "I'm gonna marry them."

Ghost - He took you axe throwing. He didn't expect you to be this good at it. The way it seemed so natural to you and how the axe embedded itself into the wall. You smiled up at him, a feral gleam in your eyes. He hands you another axe just to watch the way your arm muscles tense and to see the same look on your face when it hits its target. Spare strands of your hair stick to your slightly sweaty face and you comment about how much you like this. As he watches you wrench the axe from its spot, he can only think of how badly he wants to marry you.

[elliesmainhoe]

Hey there vivi, I think your work is cool <33 Wanted to ask what you thought of Ellie and girlfriend having IVF with both their genetics/eggs so they both have a biological child together. Know it’s not possible yet but im thinking about a Ellie with biological kid. Tmi but im ovulating so this is what im thinking ab rn. Not asking you to do a little blurb if you don’t want to, but wanted to know if you like the idea of Ellie and her kidd, ngl i think is interesting and adorable. Much love!

omg I fucking love this idea!!!! she would be so silly , I wrote some headcanons for this so hope you like it!!!!

ELLIE WILLIAMS HEADCANONS: YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HER (biologically)

okay let's say- distant future, lesbians can now have biological babies (yay technology!)

when you tell her that your pregnant girlie is gobsmacked, even though you two were actively trying. (aka raw dogging every night)

goes through a crisis, buys baby books, pregnancy books, looks into a ton of birth and labour options

shes prepared for everything, goes to Joel to find advice about taking care of a pregnant woman and what to do with a newborn

GRANDPA JOEL????

stop that would be the most adorable shit ever, him sitting on his porch, yours and Ellie's babe on his chest, giving you two a break

stopppp 😭😭😭😭

anyways getting off topic-

she's literally so much more a doting loser than she usually is (which is a feat in itself)

gets you all your cravings, chocolate? done. pickles? done. chocolate AND pickles together? fuck it she'll try some too.

loves decorating the nursery in your house

PAINTS A DINOSAUR AND/OR SPACE MURAL IN THE ROOM???

the nerd indoctrination is already happening.

her and Joel make loads of custom furniture, adjustable crib, rocking/nursing chair, changing station.

the nursery ends up looking so cute, with loads of earthy tones and greens but also an array of rainbow toys.

OMG THEY MAKE YOUR BABY A ROCKING HORSE??

shed be so supportive during labour

whatever birth method you choose shes so supportive, makes you a little emergency bag just in case you go into labour

loves skin to skin

after the birth, you're exhausted of course, so you're sleeping and she's alone with a newborn baby???

honestly thinks that the baby looks a little funky

when babies come out they're squished, red and all silly looking

they're cute of course!!! but Ellie is still hoping your babe grows out of the squished tomato, potato phase?

skin to skin is her favorite thing

having the baby laid on her chest is genuinely the sweetest thing ever

she 100% cries when your baby grows out of their first onesie

she's so sentimental, keeps everything your kid does or has

old dummies (pacifiers if you're American), baby toys that the kid doesn't play with anymore, the umbilical cord? it's in a ziplock bag somewhere.

wears the baby in those baby back pack things (I can't remember the name LMAO)

when the baby starts teething she's always making jokes about how you've given birth to a feral baby.

jokingly scolds the baby when they start biting when you breastfeed them

dresses the kid up in the funnies outfits

the baby's dresser is basically a fancy dress box by now. dinosaur costumes, teddy bear costumes, pirate costume?

literally everything

---------------

I now have baby fever. kms.

not proofread

she's the best mum especially with a newborn

[marvelwinchester67]

I’m gonna need 5-10 business days to recover from the Hazbin Hotel season 1 finale.

Hazbin Hotel episode 7 and 8 spoilers (because I’m going feral) and my thoughts/unhinged feelings about it because no one else can understand quite like tumblr can

Read at your own risk

What. The. Fuck. Guys.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

IT WAS NIFFTY WHO KILLED ADAM?!

AND SIR PENTIOUS?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! IM NOT OKAY BUT IM GLAD HE IS

Lucifer “now I’m gonna fuck you” Morningstar everyone (plz I love him so much)

So Carmilla knew who Vaggie really was and just, didn’t give a shit? Love her for that

I love Rosie. Her design, her personality, she’s amazing. She was so sweet to Charlie when she didn’t have to be and actually listened to her and encouraged her (points for the relationship advice)

So Alastor is on someone’s leash and he’s trying to wiggle his way out of it, the Vees are plotting (of course they are), and LUTE KNOWS LILITH?! THEY MADE SOME KIND OF DEAL?!

I’m so so curious about how Lute and Lilith know each other and why Lute would want her to deal with her daughter

But this implies that Adam had a previous deal with Lilith regarding something we don’t know yet, since Lute said she was in charge now that he was dead and that their deal pertained to her now

ALSO?! You’re telling me that’s what Adam looked like under his mask?! (I still loathe him but lowkey he was hot I’ll be honest right now)

Sir Pentious telling Cherri he loved her was so sweet

I soaked up every single scrap of Huskerdust I could within those last two episodes they own my soul and I’m so excited to see more of them in season 2

So it looks like Vox thinks Alastor is missing again which is why he’s plotting with the other Vees, but Alastor showed back up at the hotel during repairs so that might not last long

Alastor’s fight with Adam was so good holy shit omfg plz give me more of Alastor’s powers that shield was so cool and his verse in that final song gave me chills like, oh my god he was so mad and I’m here for it

And Lucifer showing up and telling Charlie she changed his heart and mind about the sinners? He is so precious plz protect this duck loving man at all costs

Charlie and Vaggie’s More Than Anything Reprise? Please I am sobbing they love each other so much it hurts

To top it all off- Alastor having beef with literally everyone will never not be funny. Fucking Susan? Are you kidding me. I was laughing so hard. Rosie seems like she deals with Susan a lot and Alastor calling her an Ornery Bitch was so fucking funny for no reason.

Everyone has beef with Susan now.

There is so much I have to say about this show and I could literally talk about it for years but for now I will be repeatedly listening to the soundtrack and impatiently waiting for season 2 because I no longer have the will to live after I sobbed on my bedroom floor over this show. VIVIENNE I AM IN YOUR WALLS-

[muwapsturniolo]

✯Matt dating a black girl✯

-he doesn’t know how he pulled you fr but he’s very happy he did

-if you’re rowdy (like me fr) he gets stressed.

-I’m talking deep sighs and rubbing over his face in frustration

-“bitches can’t say excuse me?”

-“y/n please don’t start.”

-“you saying that makes me want to start”

-when he gets in his lil moods (tough guy) yall bud heads

-“Matt who are you talking to cause I know damn well it’s not me!”

-hears your tone and apologizes (it’s the same tone our mommas use when we talk back💀)

-for my soft black girlies, you always have him giggling like a lil girl

-“you so handsome, I just wanna smother you in kisses!”

-if he catches an attitude with you and you gets upset, he’s on his knees saying sorry.

-if you got ass, he can’t handle the twerking😭 his head actually moves in circles and his eyes are WIDE!!!

-sexxy redd comes on at a party and you start dancing, this man starts blushing and everyone tells him he can’t handle you (he can)

-he loves when you sit on his lap. Chairs are available? He does not give af, SIT ON HIS LAP!!!

-if you got titties, his eyes won’t stay off of em. You could be wearing a regular tshirt and he gonna be like 👀

-“Matt stop looking at my boobs I’m literally in my wash day tshirt”

-“don’t care, I’m not arguing with a girl who has big boobs!”

-speaking of wash day

-this man loves watching the process

-keeps asking questions like a lil kid

-“what’s this for? Why do you need to many creams and oils? Does that hurt? WHY IS SO MUCH HAIR COMING OUT!?”

-“stop talking to me because my hair isn’t acting right and I’m two seconds away from crying and hitting myself with this brush.”

-wants to help but chooses not too, afraid he will put the wrong creme in the wrong order

-he loves going to the beauty supply because the aunties fawn over him.

-“hey Matt baby! Our girl treating you right?”

-“hi auntie Yolanda. She is, but she got mad because I didn’t get her candy she wanted.”

-“y/n if you don’t leave this boy alone!”

-“I didn’t even do anything!”

-buys all your stuff with no problem!

-“you always smell like pancakes and syrup.”

-goes feral over your shea butter, coco butter, vanilla, brown sugar scent.

-I’m talking he wants to be all over you and possibly have sex anywhere.

-“Matt we are in the car going to my parents house!”

-“Please? I’ll be quick.”

-he doesn’t not understand time! If you don’t know what I mean, let me explain.

-“shouldn’t we be leaving now? It starts at 5.”

-“no. 5 means you will be helping set up. We need to be there at 6:15.”

-blinks at you in confusion but nods anyway.

-if you not that close to your fam he gets confused as to why

-“don’t you think you should talk to them? That argument happened two years ago?”

-“and I’ll still swing at thanksgiving dinner!”

-loves eating at your parents house but thinks everything is supper spicy.

-“Matt it’s literally just seasoning salt?¿”

-“are you sure?”

-lowkey gets mouthy with your family on accident but he apologizes when your mom gives him, the look (yall know what im talking about)

-At the cook out he’s gets roped in to grilling.

-mf suddenly has a towel over his shoulder and joking with your uncles.

-he does sum that makes you and your fam look at him oddly.

-“Gon head and sit at the kids table baby.”

That’s all I can think of💀 hope yall enjoy

TAG LIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @iloveurgf @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @that-general-simp

[ghostlywhiskey]

price x pregnant reader !!!!!! IM FERAL FOR THIS TROPE

price x pregnant!reader, dad!price, etc. i eat it all up. it's literally his fucking trope. he owns it. ceo if you will.

when you're pregnant with your first kid with john, he becomes the most protective man on this planet. and not that he isn't already with you, but it's like watching an animal ready to pounce on whatever is threatening them - except with price, he sees everyone as a threat to you when you're pregnant.

price who has his arm snaked around your back, palm spread against the side of your growing stomach whenever you two are at a family or work event. the way he watches you as you speak briefly before his eyes are on everyone else who has their line of vision directed towards you. when you say you're gonna grab something to drink or eat, he nods in agreement but never lets you go alone. he's always right next to you, the hand slipping away from your waist to hold your hand instead as you walk.

when the two of you started working on getting the nursery together, the first thing he did - besides painting most of it while you slept one night because he didn't want you around the fumes of the paint. regardless if it wasn't harmful with out without a mask. he only let you in briefly to paint the last stroke of color needed so you could have the finishing touch. but again, besides painting, the first thing he did was get a rocking chair to place in the corner of the room. that way, you could sit and watch him build the various items needed, hang up decor you bought, etc. he didn't want you doing any physical work. only letting you tighten screws a few times after you pouted because you wanted to help.

and even though your not even halfway pregnant with the first, it is price who has his arms wrapped around you while you're getting ready in the morning or at night for bed. price who is mumbling against you're neck how he can't wait to see you pregnant at least three more times. telling you how beautiful you look with your growing belly as his palms gently rub from the side of your waist to the middle of your stomach, and continues to do so back and forth. going on about how you're the only woman who could ever carry his babies.

price who cursing in his office when they tell him he has to go on a mission, the thought of leaving you as you get closer to the due date spiking anxiety in him for the first time in his life. and when the call ends, its you who doesn't knock on the office door, but just opening it slowly as you walk in to see price pacing around the room. your hands that reach up and grab his face to look at you - reassuring him you'll be fine and you're still a decent time away from your due date. telling him you'll stay at your parents house while he's away so you aren't alone - because you'd never make him choose between his job and you. and he keeps asking if you are sure if he leaves each and every day up until it is time for him to go. your pregnant frame in the doorway of your home, nodding as you place a hand on your stomach and rub it. "we'll be here when you're back" is all you can get out before he's kissing you.

[tujhse-raabta]

pjo fic recs?

OOH OOH IKHF FKFKVKRKVKDLCKRKFKRLVKDF I LOVE YOU FOR THIS

ok ok ok first one. The God Complex

this is an apollo x oc, and it is so fucking well written I die because of it daily????? like. lowkey one of the best things I've read. author hasn't updated for like a year, but honestly, you would not regret reading this at ALL. it's a blessing, I am Very Serious

next, i think this one's a classic - Falling For You

i am feral for this. basically percy falls into Tartarus alone, dark percy, percabeth, the ups and downs of dating a demigod who has gone through HELL, god I will never forget how this one fucked me up and I love it sm igkfkgke

next, Son Of Sea Foam

gdidkfkrkckd FERAL FERAL FERAL, LITERALLY

in a world where big three kids have a CURSE ON THEM, it's even more forbidden to be alive !!! silena is the loml as is percy and god I love this one sm. i had to stop reading after the first one bcs [redacted] but the second one is amazing too i just know it gifkfkekcklckcekcm

a perpollo - I have swallowed my pride (to say goodbye)

everytime this updates i cry of happiness and they're so regular it's just like a weekly blessing. it's time travel fem percy and there's so muchr tirkgkrkgkrkglrlvke I CSNT FUNCTION OK THIS IS A MUST READ EVEN IF YOU DONT TOUCH THE OTHERS

The Kistos Trilogy

not very percabeth friendly pls keep that in mind!!! but it's so. it's very Poseidon and Percy and parental love and dark percy and gods i just girkgkekckdlkckdlcldlckekckelvllrkv

having a god for a big brother

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, ITS AN UTTER AU ANF ITS SO UNIQUE????? BASICALLY OK OKOK SO . percy is a god here and Estelle is his sister / [redacted] oh god the plot twists and the family fluff I love the perpollo yes but I read this for the Annabeth & Luke & Thalia & Estelle & Percy feels!!!!!!

i hear you're alive (how disappointing)

fuckrifkrkfkfkelck this is. the worst that Tartarus could be. basically percy doesn't stop when Annabeth asks him to during akhlys, and terrified + trauma flashbacks cause her to leave him there alone and escape through the doors of death. it's .,,, obviously not percabeth? i find Annabeth surprisingly in character for the WILDLY out of character premise but gods the way this is written is so. fkekgkrkgk. also hazel baby<333

last one I promise lmao - Citizens of Glass

BEST PERPOLLO DJGKKRKFKEKFKEKFKEKKVKDKVLRKGKRKGKROEOGKRKCLELCKRKVKRK GODS THE FEELS AND EVERYTHING???? IM SO FERAL FOR ANNABEYH AND PERCYS FRIENDSHIP HERE DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ITS SO. V8DKGMVL. THEY ARE RIDE OR DIE BESTIES. LITERALLY.

i lied one more because VIRIRKF

The Once and Future God

time travel fix it which I think redeems luke????? i love it it's all so amazing and Percy is actually from 300 years in the future and he's such a smart amazing kid he's SAVING SO MANY PEOPLE AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF HASNT EVEN STARTED????? i love this sm it's the best soup ever

(two more bcs I can't help myself. this for some really really cool god Percy oneshot which left me feeling buzzed and this for a super super unhealthy dark perpollo)

[imasimpforshanks]

voicemails they leave when they’re missing you

ft. zoro, sanji, law, shanks

a/n: what i would give to have someone leave me a cute voicemail 🥲🥲 maybe part 1 of 2?????? Idk anyway sorry for not posting for a bit! Work has been insane lately????? Idk what it is with kids at the moment but they are kind of feral BUT I STILL LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART

— zoro —

“hey dumbass, i know you miss me so i thought I’d phone you so you could hear my voice or whatever… it’s not like i miss you or anything…. (sighs)

okay fine (quieter) i miss you so much, shit. it’s just getting crazier and crazier by the day out here and I- (louder) OI PISS OFF YOU STUPID CHEF IM ON THE PHONE - (voice back to normal) sorry about that, you know how that damn cook is… anyway what was i saying?

oh yeah… things are heating up and well i guess shit is going down soon so just… be safe out there. i love you.

i’ll see you soon.”

— sanji —

“HELLO THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE! it is now day 2763 without seeing your face and i am just withering away!! okay so maybe not that many days, but i am indeed withering away. if i don’t get to see you soon i may DIE! And no, im not being “dramatic”. I’m being serious.

i miss your face, i miss your laughter, i miss your hugs and kisses, i miss the smell of your perfume… I miss the way you keep me company when i cook….

ANYWAY MY LOVE, I hope you are safe and well. Please call me as soon as you have the chance. I love you with all my heart.”

— law —

“uhh hi- hello- hey… i know it’s the middle of the night but ive come to the annoying realization that its even harder than normal for me to sleep without you around. so i just thought… maybe hearing your voice or something would help… I don’t know.

i’m actually happy you didn’t pick up though- no! wait! I didn’t mean it like that- i just… ugh. okay im barely functioning right now… but you got what i meant im sure… i just really miss you. I know we’re seeing each other again soon but ya know? (lets out a deep sigh).

i-uh i love you, yn. call me when you wake up.”

— shanks —

“i was really hoping you’d pick up baby, ive got so much to update you on!

i literally saw the funniest thing ever today and im not even exaggerating. we were out strolling through this new town and these kids ran passed me playing in the street but then i shit you not this bird just started swooping at them out of no where and they were screaming and crying and i know i should feel bad for him and im a bit of an asshole for laughing and shit but oh my god baby i was nearly pissing my pants with laughter.

(calms down) anyway… was hoping i’d get to hear your voice… (laughs awkwardly) this whole long distance shit never gets any easier does it? i hope everything is okay back home. I’ll try phoning you again later.

love ya baby, and miss you like crazy.”

[emmyrosee]

i am back once again and reading your atsumu and kuroo works 💪💪💪

personal favs are probably dad!au’s because OH LY GOSHSKE THTEYRE SO CUTE like no need to make me scream at the most random points throughout the dayJEJSSJJSDJS

idk. i DID have a random thought when reading one of the atsumu stories (i think it was the one where hisako was being a little rat???) and i wanted to share.

the thought was about hisako randomly calling her father old and i imagined papa tsumu getting all insecure and sulky whenever the topic of age comes up. bro literally ends up checking for white hairs in the mirror even though he knows damn well he just dyes over them, even checks his behaviour to see if he does anything that’s considered “old school” iykwim ?? AND HISAKO DOESNT MAKE THIS ANY EASIER FOR HIM BECAUSE SHES A MENACE (like her father frfr)

no idea what i’m doing, actually. just wanted to share 🙏🤭🤭🤭🤭

HE LITERALLY BECOMES “how do you do, fellow kids” IM SO DEAD-

-

“Baby, do you think I should completely go blonde?”

“No, Atsumu.”

You continue to fold your clothes while Atsumu pokes and pulls the hair at his scalp, searching and digging for any semblance of grey that may try to peak out. He’s gotten a few from the undercut, but now the ones at the fluffy mop of hair adoring the top of his head is harder to find. He’s determined, and if it wasn’t making him so self conscious, it be cute watching the corner of his tongue sticking out as he plays with his hair.

“You sure? Because my grey’s aren’t as visible.”

You sigh and make your way to your husband, laying a hand on his shoulder, “honey, I don’t care if you have blonde hair, or straight grey hair. I love you. I’d just hate to watch you change your entire being because our little terror has been a little more feral lately.”

He pouts and pulls you in for a hug, “I’m getting old.”

“We both are, baby.”

“Yeah, but you’re aging beautifully. I’m aging like milk.”

“Okay, that’s it-“ you say firmly, leaving the room briefly to head to hisako’s, who’s playing with her toys post-bath and in her favorite jammies. “Hisako, baby, can you come talk to daddy? I think you made him a little sad when you were teasing him earlier.”

“Daddy sad?” She asks, eyes curved in worry.

“A little bit. Come on. Let’s go get daddy.” You scoop her up in your arms and make your way back to your bedroom, “atsumu, hisako has something she’d like to say to you.”

He winces, but she reaches her arms out to him to be held, which he does. “I’m sorry daddy!” She chirps. “Was only teasin’ like uncle Samu. No hurt feelings!”

He smiles and rests his head against hisako’s, “thank you baby… daddy was just feeling a little self conscious about it.”

“No, I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to…”

“I know angel girl,” he assures, kissing her temple. They stay close, relishing in each others warmth while you smile close by, but when hisako pulls away and tugs a grey hair out of Atsumu’s head, you pinch your eyes with a smirk.

“Got it daddy!” She giggles.

“You little brat,“ he pinches up her sides while she squirms in his grip, but it seems only to be playful as she gives him a childish, wet kiss on his cheek after.

“Just kidding daddy!”

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Hi! I saw your tags on a post talking about car trouble as one of the great good omens fics and I've put it on my tbr! I wasn't really active in the fandom after season 1 so I feel like I missed out on all the great fics. I know about Demonology and Slow Show and I know about others from Aziraphale'sLibrary from their classics tag. But I was wondering what your list would be, your list of what the best and greatest good omens fics are. I'm young, so I have time to read lol

GASPS I HAVE RECS COMING OUT MY EARS @queenofthearchipelago, BUCKLE UP KID💕

this will be a mixture of genres and a lot of them are well known so may well already be on the AL classic lists (but, well, theyre classics for a reason imo) but im just gonna dump them here; these are literally just off the top of my head so won't be very coherent/in order - i'll give the links and ratings, but will leave you to peruse the synopses directly (most will be human AUs, they're my particular favourites), just to save making what will be a huge post even longer!!!

Car Trouble (E)

Petrichor and Parchment (E)

Memory of Eden (M) (and its sequels - imo The heartbreak series of all time. i sob like a baby) (it's written pre-s1 release, so book!omens, but i find it relatively easy to re-imagine if tv!omens is how you imagine them too etc) (no seriously if i ever get any fic professionally bound into a physical book, it's this series)

For Want of a Seed (T) (and also a huge shout out to Right of It also by cassieoh but it's unfinished - ive had it open as a tab in my phone for like a year? in the fervent hope it'll be updated, which fair enough if it isn't!!! but it's beauuuutiful)

Stranger in Paradise (E)

Infernal Bodyguard (M)

Wicked Thing series (E) (and anything by phoenix_soar, frankly. just... damn🫠)

i then also want to shout out a couple of fics from some amazing people on tumblr here (listed in no particular order!) which you may have already seen? but definitely worth mentioning because they're similarly insaneeee:

Shoot to Thrill and Learning on the Job (both E) and tbh anything by @teddybearbutchh, otherworldly affinity for not only writing in general, she's so talented, but her smut is 🫠

How Do We Turn On The Light? (M) by @moonyinpisces is soooo good as a post-s2 fic, she's really captured how i personally imagine aziraphale and crowley to act after the feral domestic, i love her characterisation!

The Loophole (E) by @fellshish is a different take post-s2 but incredibly funny and the apology dance is. life changing

Chemistry (E) by @twilightcitysky, i simply revisit their works time and time again, but this one is a particular favourite!!!

and im sure there are some lovelies that might read this and want to add their recommendations too, or self promote???💕✨ but these are my faves, like i said, right off the top of my head!!!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

READ 70 PAGES OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK WITH WHICH I HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION AS WE KNOW

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY BETWEEN ME AND MY COPY OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK. WE KNOW. IT STARES AT ME, I STARE BACK, IT DARES ME TO READ IT AND FALL IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY MORE, I REFUSE. WE PUT THE UST IN LUST ETC.

BUT TODAY/YESTERDAY (RIP SLEEP SCHEDULE) SINCE I WASNT ON TUMBLR, I READ TILL PAGE 70 OF THE BOOK (TILL THE PART CALLED WEDNESDAY) AND GOD FUCKING DAMN. I READ IT LISTENING TO AN AZIRAPHALE BOOKSHOP AMBIENCE AND WITH CHOPIN PLAYING AND CANDLES LIT. ANYWAY. THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK OUT TO ME:

Crowley. Just everything about Crowley. God I love him. I fucking love him. This is why I avoid reading the book. I'm such a slut for Crowley. It's manageable on the show when I know it's an actor. But WORDS CROWLEY? WORDS CROWLEY IS REAL. I AM SO IN LOVE.

Aziraphale has perfectly manicured hands. I'm pretty sure this has been mentioned three times in the first 70 pages. Three times at minimum. I forget how twink he is in the show (idk how) but man the book does NOT let you forget and I love that.

Crowley absent-mindedly sank a duck. Aziraphale called him my dear (fanfic authors everywhere: write that down write that motherfucking shit down it's better than porn). Crowley un-sunk the duck. The duck was cross.

CROWLEY DID I MENTIONED CROWLEY OH MY BABY FANCIED THE JAMES BOND DECALS HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO VIVALDI COZ THEY WERE SO STRESSED AFTER RECEIVING THE ANTICHRIST THEY LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS (I LOOKED IT UP AND OH CROWLEY) THEY DRANK FOR A WEEK AFTER SEEING THE SPANISH INQUISITION THEY OMG.

THE DRUNK SCENE. I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DOLPHINS CONVERSATION. OMG THESE TWO FUCKING FOOLS I ADORE THEM.

Crowley IN THAT SCENE AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT SCENE HOLY SHIT. CROWLEY JUST LISTING OFF ALL THE THINGS SHE KNOWS AZIRAPHALE LOVES.

AND OMG. The CONVOLUTED FUCKING METAPHOR CROWLEY COMES UP WITH INVOLVING A LITTLE BIRD FLYING TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND PECKING A MOUNTAIN AND COMING BACK AND DOING IT ON LOOP. FOR WHAT? JUST TO SAY THAT WHEN THE MOUNTAIN WAS GONE, HEAVEN WOULD STILL BE PLAYING THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

As usual just like me Crowley shot himself in the foot with that metaphor. Because AZIRAPHALE, THE LEGEND, STARTS SAYING THE BIRD MUST BE IMMORTAL FOR THAT, AND THEN SAYS NO ACTUALLY THE BIRD IS BEING CARRIED IN A SPACESHIP AND THE DESCENDANTS EMERGE FROM THE SPACESHIP and poor crowley is saying SO THE BIRD REACHES THE MOUNTAIN and azi excitedly says IN THE SPACESHIP and AAAAAAAAA-

Anyway right yes sorry what were we doing oh right the book.

Anathema is so adorable as a kid what a little brat holy shit I love her. I want to see all her homework written in Middle English. I want to know which teacher finally summoned the balls to correct it.

NEWT MON CHERI HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT ONLY DESTROYING THE HOUSE'S POWER CIRCUIT WITH HIS EXPERIMENT. Because apparently last time he fucking caused a power outage in the whole block. Or county. We stan an optimist (no one talk to me about Crowley being an optimist I will go feral and rip your larynx out).

THE THIRD BABY DID NOT WIN PRIZES FOR TROPICAL FISH. THIS IS LIKE THE ENDING OF VILETTE WHEN CHARLOTTE BRONTE GOT GUILTTRIPPED BY HER DAD INTO WRITING IT AS AN OPEN ENDING BUT WE ALL KNOW IT'S A TRAGEDY FUCK ME.

CROWLEY THE PRAY THAT HE DOESN'T IT SOUNDS SO SUAVE IN THE SHOW BUT IN THE BOOK IT LITERALLY SAYS "AND FLEES". THE CHAOTIC ANXIOUS MOTHERFUCKER MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

AZIRAPHALE FUCKING GLOWERING AT CUSTOMERS AND SCARING THEM AWAY USING EVERY MEANS SHORT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IM DEAD THAT LITTLE BASTARD PEAK CROSS INTROVERT ELDRITCH MONSTER ENERGY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ADAM TO ENTER (WELL AS A NOT BABY) AHAH.

I HOPE WARLOCK IS OKAY.

CROWLEY BEING DESCRIBED AS A YOUNG MAN DOES THINGS TO ME. AS DO THE DARK HAIR AND GOOD CHEEKBONES. DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH HIS TONGUE. I AM A SLUT FOR HER. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I REMEMBER WHY IM GREYACE AND NOT ENTIRELY ASEXUAL. IT'S CROWLEY.

I LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKES LIKE I DON'T EVEN GET SOME BUT THE DRY TONE IS HILARIOUS. LIKE HOW BOTH WARLOCK'S HEAVENLY AND HELLISH TUTORS READ FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATION. AND THE CUTTING COMMENTARY LIKE HOW THE DOWLINGS' SECRET AGENTS WERE TRAINED TO REACT TO WOMEN IN LONG ROBES. OR THE POLITICAL COMEDY WITH ALL THE CULTURAL ATTACHES AT ST JAMES. IT MAKES ME AMUSED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO CONTEXT. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD THEM MORE.

SORRY WHY AM I YELLING ABOUT THIS BEFORE 6 IN THE MORNING FUCK I FORGOT MY SLEEP MEDS NO WONDER IM STILL AWAKE AND HYPER ALSO CROWLEY ALSO AZI ALSO ADAM I HOPE MY LITTLE PLANTS MAKE IT.

WHEN IM DONE READING THE BOOK I WANNA REREAD IT OUT LOUD TO MY THREE LITTLE PLANTS TO MAKE THEM GROW HAPPY AND KNOW WHOM THEY WERE NAMED AFTER.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Venomshank x Reader helping to raise Sword

hehehehe, im doing a request for katz-ke ehehhehehe, you don’t know how i screamed at my friend over discord when you liked my art and then how i had to contain my crazed giggles while making myself dinner, anyways into the actual stuff

- You never thought you’d have a kid, you sure as hell didn’t wanna give up year gear and you weren’t so sure on adoption, but now raising a baby with a literal deity, it doesn’t seem so bad

- You had come to meet Venomshank very soon after he took in Sword, you got along well and when you met Sword for the first time you thought he was just the cutest thing, one thing led to another and now you his partner, living with him and helping in the care of his adoptive son

- Sword could be a handful, sometimes, making a mess with his food, being fussy about naps, but it was all worth it to help out the one you loved, every time you took over Sword’s care so he could get some rest he peppered your face with kisses before putting his mask back on, unfortunately due to Venomshank’s godly duties there were times that you had to take care of Sword for a few days by yourself, but whenever he returned he thanked you so profusely and kissed you till you were giggling, he took over taking care of his son letting you get some well needed rest

- He preferred to have his mask off so he could kiss you and little Sword easier but he was afraid of going feral when it was off, you did your best to reassure him but he was still uneasy about having it off for too long, you understood why he was so cautious, one time where it happens without his mask on and he runs the risk of loosing you and his son, so you never asked him to keep it off when he was worried

- As Sword grew older Venomshank definitely took over more of the care of him, preparing him to be his apprentice and mentee, though for the time he was just a small kid with too much energy and one tired mortal parent, you did have to explain a few mortal things to Venomshank, since he is the deity to spend the most time around demons he knows the most about them but there was still a few things you had to educate him on, especially in raising a child

- Even if Sword could be quite the handful sometimes, it was all worth it for the soft moments, your favorite memory of the three of you was Sword babbling on about stuff when he asked you to dance with him, you did the typical dancing with a small child thing where you softly grabbed his hands and rocked up and down, then Venomshank found you two and laughed at the interaction before asking you if you’d like to dance, even with no music you had a sweet and tender time dancing around holding each other close, Sword then bumped in saying he wanted to dance too so you all three held hands in a silly manor bouncing about, it was such a domestic and wholesome moment that you cherished heavily

- As Sword began his training you mainly just took care of his food and hygiene, making the both of them a nice meal to return to after they finished, Sword was still young but old enough to at least begin learning how to wield his blade he was named after, on rare occasion Sword would get injured, maybe a scrape or small cut but you being the more gentle and softer of the two Venomshank would let you handle it cooing quietly at the boy as you cleaned it up telling him he was so brave for it, Venomshank appreciated it greatly, since he didn’t have an amazing grasp on the severity of injuries he worried he’d over react and possibly scare Sword, something he absolutely never wanted to do

- Throughout everything Venomshank had remained as loving and sweet to you as the day you got together, you couldn’t help but feel yourself fall more in love with him as time went on, he was everything you could have asked for, sure Sword was not part of your original plan but you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world

hehehehe hope you enjoyed, again like i’ve stated a million times if anyone reading wants general venomshank x reader hcs let me know i will happily oblige, i love venomshankkkk

[starbabyg]

tbh i would love to hear some zadorov thoughts (he is so large and im feral like not only tall BUT BEEFY 😩 like sorry i just came)

gwerlll!!!! This one gets nasty!!!

This Russian man!!!!

His dick is thiccccc. It has some girth to it

Like it just stretches you out so good it’s almost painful

It’s a heavy son of a bitchhh

He’s rough and doesn’t give a fuck

Smacks your ass and teases you for whining

“Awe listen to those cries, keep ‘em coming sweetheart I love to hear you whine”

He’s just a giant of a man

Can easily just pick you up and fuck you

He can literally do those positions that are in pornos

Just fucking you mid air

He loves to fuck you from the back

He wraps your hair around his hand and pulls you back into him, curling his hand around your throat

Meanwhile he’s whispering the nastiest of things to you

“If only you could see how dirty of a girl you are. My pretty little slut.”

Although that does give him an idea: buy a mirror so you can watch yourself get fucked

He gets a giant mirror and places it in front of the bed

Nikita loves to force you to watch yourself, as much as you can when your eyes aren’t rolling to the back of your skull

He loves to play with your pussy, legs forced open with him speeding up his pace every time you try to squeeze them together

Ugh he just smells like sex, tobacco musk, and vanilla. Yummmm

This man will try everything under the sun with you

Rope bondage, even having the rope mounted to the ceiling so you’re just dangling a few feet off the ground, all entrapped in a makeshift web that leaves you vulnerable to him

Although Nikita would be a total freakazoid he’s also the type to be soooo goofy during sex

Like you’re waiting on him to get a towel to clean you up and he’s doing some funky dance *insert him twerking from that one video*

The shift mostly happens after y’all have kids (if you choose to)

He has more paternal instincts so he dials down the bruise leaving spankings and choking

It’s more him praising your body for being so beautiful and giving him his children

“Mmm the beautiful mother of my children, you’re an angel and a saint.” As he kisses up your chest to your chin

Although when you’re like “errr can we get freaky like we used to” he does notttt hesitate

But he does make the kids go to their grandparents for the weekend cause he knows he’s gonna make you scream bloody murder when he kills da pwussyyyyy

I just know zadorov got a freaky ass sex life tho ugh!! I need to see itttt!!!