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#im just so tired it's only been a month and a half
darling-flora · 2 days
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Everybody Here Wants You
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fc: bella hadid
joe burrow x yn model (bella hadid) x ex!paul mescal
Note: I feel like this is really long 😭 I had a little fun with it. Let me know what ya think !!! ❣❤❣
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TMZ
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Liked by username1, username2 and 969,944 others
TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and actor Paul Mescal have SPLIT after 2 years of dating.
Though the pair were recently seen in Ohio around L/n's family farm, Y/n was reportedly trying to work through the problems but articles came out about Mescal having an affair, to which Y/n immediately broke off the relationship. Then only days after they called it quits Mescal was seen around London with director J.J. Abrams' daughter Gracie Abrams.
There have been rumors of Mescal and Abrams growing closer around the same time as the relationship of Y/n and Paul started to grow rocky, Mescal hasn't commented on the split but sources close to Y/n L/n have expressed that "Y/n was heartbroken but she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane but then she saw proof of an affair and it all started to click".
Although the actor hasn't commented on the break up, people close to the actor have and said "As soon as Y/n found out about him and Abrams, she didn't think twice about dumping him, and he immediately regretted ever meeting Gracie. He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for".
While Mescal has been seen around London with another girl, Y/n has been spending more time in Ohio on her family farm.
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username1 wait they were at her farm was like a month ago.... so they've been broken up for like a month ??
↳username2 yeah they haven't been seen together since then, and paul has been seen with gracie and they've gotten more and more public..... ↳username1 omg it took him like half a year to even say he was in a relationship with y/n when she was so openly in love, then for him to be this public with gracie like weeks into their "situationship" is crazy...
username3 omg tmz with all the details holy....
username4 not really the point but her family has a farm ??
↳username5 yeah they have a family farm and her stepdad owns an educational animal sanctuary that help's people learn about animals !! ↳username4 oh i had no clue, that's sick !!
username6 i feel so bad for y/n "she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane" like poor girl... 😕
username7 tmz were you in the room when they were breaking up ??? how do you know so much..?
↳username8 wouldn't be surpised if people close to her are "leaking" stuff, if he was having an affair i would tell reporters too 🤭
username9 "He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for" omfg he's such a man 😒
↳username10 he's always talked so highly of y/n only for him to CHEAT on her ?? ↳username11 at the end of the day he's just another man im afraid.....
username12 he regretted ever meeting gracie IS CRAZY like your holding her hand around london wishing you NEVER MET HER ??
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cincyanimalsanctuary
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Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others
cincyanimalsanctuary We had the pleasure of welcoming some of the member's of the Cincinnati Bengals to the sanctuary for a little team bonding before the start of the 2022 NFL preseason starts.
Huge thank you to all the staff and animal ambassadors for being so welcoming to our guests, as well as a thank you to yourinstagram for showing the team around !!
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username1 y/n looks so happy, im glad !!
bengals Thanks for opening the doors for us. Everyone had a blast !!
↳bengals Extra thanks to yourinstagram for showing us around 🧡 ↳yourinstagram It was an honor to get to know the team everyone was a delight, a day well spent !!! ↳joeyb_9 Thanks for the lesson on horseback riding !! ↳yourinstagram You were a natural 😉 ↳sam_hubbard_ Well.... let's not lie ↳yourinstagram He was a QUICK learner, maybe not a natural.... ↳joeyb_9 ??????? ↳yourinstagram sorry.... 🤭 ↳username2 this feels like flirting...🤨
username3 wait did they meet the cows and goats ? did everybody ride horses ?
↳cincyanimalsanctuary Yes ! Everybody got a chance to pet and feed all the animals and Y/n joined a few of the guys to teach them about riding horseback !!
username4 bro y/n does so many side quest
joeyb_9 it was a pleasure !! will definitely come back 👍
↳cincyanimalsanctuary The doors are always open !!
username5 y/n with an nfl player next 👀💭...
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 4,959,944 others
yourinstagram ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣
Comments on this post have been limited.
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TMZ
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Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others
TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow seem to be serious ! The owner of Cincy Gym posted the two working out on the same day, only 2 months ago the two were spotted on a date and it appears the pair are still going strong.
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username1 YES !!! i was wondering if they were together
username2 i truly thought he has been in a relationship since college
↳username3 he was in a relationship from high school to college but she didn't wanna move back to ohio so they broke up
username4 qb in the gym 💪 LFG !!!
username5 this is so serious for me
username6 do we think she's going to games ???
↳username7 oh absolutely !!!! I CANT wait to see what she'll wear
username8 i have no one to talk to about this 😭
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, paulmescal and 4,959,944 others
yourinstagram me and blu woke up to a house full of flowers !!
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username1 girl why is p*ul in the likes ?????
joeyb_9 Mhm wonder how that happened 🤔
↳yourinstagram no clue.... 🤭 ↳username2 honestly love how unbothered they are ↳username3 they do NOT care that paul is liking her post 😭 ↳username4 we love a secure relationship 💅
username5 he wants her back so bad but she's moved on.... im laughing 🤭
devonleecarlson my girlfriend is so gorgeous! ❤️
↳joeyb_9 ???? ↳yourinstagram what....? ☺ ↳yourinstagram love ya devon !!!! ❣ ↳username6 the ???? IS KILLING ME 😭
username7 getting the love she deserves IKTR ! ! !
username8 hey paulmescal you miss her now that she's with someone else ? 😂
liked by paulmescal ↳username8 BRO YOU ARE NOT SLICK ↳username9 not him liking then un-liking 😭 ↳username10 he's with gr*cie why is he here ??? ↳username11 gr*cie def thinks it's more serious then he does, with the way she's been talking about being in a relationship recently😭
username12 you are so beautiful y/n 💕
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joeyb_9
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Liked by yourinstagram, sam_hubbard_ and 2,959,944 others
joeyb_9 Summer photo dump ! How did I do ?
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username1 soft launching y/n....
yourinstagram Solid 8/10 ☺
↳joeyb_9 I'll do better next time 🫡 ↳username2 wait why is this kinda.... 🫦
username3 Honestly a pretty good photo dump 🤷‍♀️
username4 little less joe and a little more y/n next time !! 😉👍
↳joeyb_9 I'll take this into consideration ✍ ↳username4 PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳username1 nevermind..... i guess it's a hard launch 😭
username5 y/n rating it a 8/10 when i feel like she helped him chose the pictures 😭
↳yourinstagram he had the final say i fear... ↳yourinstagram i insisted on the 3rd picture tho !! 😁
lahjay10_ We'll put some more work into the next photo dump 🤫
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TMZ
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Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others
TMZ Actor Paul Mescal breaks his silence on split with Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n, after Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow and L/n confirmed their romance.
When Mescal was asked about how he was doing, he hesitated before saying "I've been better" "It's been the most successful year of my life professionally but I've felt like sh*t the whole time" "I have no-one to blame but myself, for making dumb mistakes which I'll regret for the rest of my life" "It sounds really dramatic but it's true, I knew how good I had it, I was the happiest I've ever been and I was afraid of that, and I ruined the best part of my life, but now i have to learn from that mistake and grow".
Since the split Y/n L/n has talked a bit about the relationship and when asked about Mescal's statement L/n stated "I know my worth and I'm truly happier then I've ever been, being surrounded by my family and one's that I love and one's that show me love everyday; I almost forgot what that felt like".
What do you think ?
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username1 BRO we do not feel bad for you paul 😭😭 YOU cheated ???
username2 where is the y/n and joe pic from ????
↳username3 a friend of theirs posted it, i think it was from a birthday party !!
username4 paul you almost got me then i remembered y/n said "I was also getting tired of all the lies, I felt a bit insane" y/n may forget and forgive but I don't 🤬
username5 i mean just by the pics she looks happier with joe 🤷‍♀️
username6 she almost FORGOT WHAT LOVE FELT LIKE ???? paul when i catch you 👊👊
username7 omfg he is NOT being quite about how much he regrets losing y/n 😭
↳username8 he want's her back BAD
username9 he should've kept his silence
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joeyb_9
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Liked by yourinstagram, sam_hubbard_ and 2,959,944 others
joeyb_9 Play Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley & go buy Orebella !!
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username1 wait im gagged
username2 joe said f^ck paul and his statement
yourinstagram Love that song !! & i love you 😉❤
↳joeyb_9 Love you bby ❤😍 ↳username3 i bet she makes him giggle... ↳username4 ????? ↳username3 idk i just feel like she makes him kick his feet while giggling and blushing 😭 ↳lahjay10_ she does.... TRUST me ↳yourinstagram PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳lahjay10_ it's true ↳yourinstagram oh i know 🤭 ↳username5 STOP I LOVE THEM !!!
username6 joe won at life 😍
username7 PLAY EVRYBODY HERE WANTS YOU AFTER PAUL HAS BEEN LIKING HER POSTS ???? joe burrow you have moved me
username8 he really said that's MY girl
sam_hubbard_ 💪🤠
liked by joeyb_9
username9 "I know everybody here thinks he needs you, I'll be waiting right here just to show you, How our love will blow it all away" who knew joe was a lover boy ??
username10 finally a man that show's y/n off
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, paulmescal and 5,859,844 others
yourinstagram Im still in shock over the turn out of our first day of orebella thank you everyone for your love and kind words; it means the world to me. I can’t thank my team at orebella , my family , friends and loved ones enough for the support, time, passion and love they put into me and the Orebella launch. Orebella is a dream come true, it feels unreal to think this is reality. Thank you to everyone involved. I couldn’t have done this without you🤍
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username1 take y/n's happiness double it and give it back to her 🫂
joeyb_9 Congratulations to you my girl, i love you !! I'm endlessly proud of you ❤
↳yourinstagram love you handsome ❤ ↳username2 oh i need a man so bad ↳username3 "my girl" 😭❤
arianagrande So well deserved !! Love you !!!!! 🤍
↳yourinstagram thank you sm ari !!! 💞
username4 need HIM out of the likes....
↳yourinstagram no need to stress about it, im happy !! ↳username5 mother taking the high road iktr !!
username6 the people's princess !! ❤👑
devonleecarlson so proud of u 😙❤
↳yourinstagram ❤ ty ty ty ❤
username7 happy y/n is the best y/n !!!
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 5,859,844 others
yourinstagram Summer is over, time for 🏈 szn !!
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username1 summer has been over for a minute im afraid...
↳yourinstagram i forgot to post these pictures 😩
username2 what's it like to always serve 💅 ??
joeyb_9 Ugh that food was so good
↳yourinstagram we'll have to go back 😉🤞 ↳joeyb_9 also your cute 😍 ↳yourinstagram says you...😘 ↳username3 CON😭😭 GRA😭😭TULA😭😭 TIONS ↳username3 that should be me with y/n 😔
username4 the last pic !! they look so cute 🥺
devonleecarlson PRETTY GIRL LOVE YOU !!!!!!
username5 YAYYY i hope i get to meet you at a game !!!
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yourinstagram story
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nfl
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Liked by username1, username2 and 1,969,944 others
nfl Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n has arrived at MetLife Stadium for week 3, the Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets game.
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username1 who is she rooting for ?
↳username2 bengals, she's dating joe burrow
username3 who asked ?????
username4 they are 0-2 if the bengals win this game i need her at every game 🙏
bengals Our favorite cowgirl !! 🤠
username5 so joe has extra motivation to win ? im sold
username6 we don't gaf
username7 i'll admit she's a pretty girl
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yourinstagram
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Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 6,959,944 others
yourinstagram 🐅 27-12 !!
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joeyb_9 Prettiest lucky charm ⭐
↳yourinstagram 😚🫶 ↳username1 bros whipped ↳username2 ??? it's y/n if i were him i'd be more whipped then he seems
username1 her influence is crazyyyyy b/c why did i, who knows nothing about football watch this game??? anyways go Bengals !!
username2 MOTHER TO ALL !!!!
username5 IT WAS NICE TO MET YOU !!!!! AHHHHHH
↳yourinstagram Nice to meet you too !! I hope your studies go well ❣ ↳username4 you are so lucky !!!!! what was she like ?? ↳username5 she was so sweet !!! i gave her a few bracelets i made, her favorite was one with the number 9 😭❤
devonleecarlson You looked so pretty on my tv 🤭❤
↳yourinstagram You are too sweet 😘!!!!!
username6 Y/n at a game is a cause for celebration !!
username3 first win of the season and y/n is there ? we need you at every game PLEASE 🙏 !!!
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beth20light · 1 day
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𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮
Jacob black x Reader
A/N: Hello! Right now i’m really obsessed with jacob black x reader fics but i cant seem to find something that i liked :( Soo i decided to write mine. Its gonna be 2 or 3 chapters im not sure yet and english is not my first language please excuse my mistakes .Anyway i hope you guys like it 🥰
Note: In this world there is no bella. So not any love triangles. There are vampires but just mentioned briefly. And both of you are above 18.
Summary: Your dad, Charlie, and Billy were on a fishing trip, and somehow you and Jacob ended up tagging along. When it was time to head back, everyone paired off, and you ended up with Jacob. Now, the two of you were already on the road in Billy’s old truck, heading back to Forks.
The car ride was quiet since both of you were tired from the fishing weekend with your dads. You just wanted to go home and sleep in your bed. While thinking about your cozy bed, you glanced at Jacob. He was focused on the road, not wanting to hit a deer or something in the middle of the night. Jacob had been your friend since your family moved to Forks when you were 12. Billy and your dad were friends, so it wasn’t surprising that you and Jacob became friends too. He was a good friend, but you and he had drifted apart for a couple of months. He’d been acting strange—cutting his hair, changing his look, hanging out with Sam, who he hated the most, and putting distance between the two of you for reasons you didn’t understand.
Somehow, you both ended up on this trip together. Instead of asking why he’d been distant, you decided to let it slide and act like nothing had happened. Only small gestures giving something that he needs etc. dull thanks and you are welcomes. Pf course your dad understand that there is something happened between you two. So maybe the reason that your dad wanted you to go with Jacob rather then himself. But now, with just the two of you alone, the mood felt more awkward then the fishing trip.
“Is there something on my face?” Jacob asked, lifting his lips slightly.
“What? No,” you said, caught off guard.
“ You’ve been staring at me for a couple minutes you know” He smirked.
You hadn’t realized you were staring at him, lost in thought about what had happened between you two.
“I was just looking at your new look. New hair, biggest biceps ever, and all. You’ve changed a lot. I do like your new look, but I miss the long hair,” you said with a half smile.
He gave a small, bittersweet smile. “Well, some things had to change. Nothing stays the same.”
The silence between you lingered after Jacob's quiet words. You turned your attention back to the road, focusing on the dark stretch ahead as you got lost in your thoughts again. You still couldn’t find a reason for why Jacob was acting this way, and it made you sad. His refusal to share anything with you only deepened your disappointment. It was as if the two of you had never been best friends who shared everything.
“What the—” Shaken from your thoughts by Jacob’s words, you looked around. The car was slowing down, and Jacob didn’t look happy. “What’s happening?” you asked with a concerned glance.
“The car is breaking down,” he sighed. “Great.” He leaned back in his seat and rubbed his face with one hand. “Just what we needed.”
You sat up a little straighter, looking out the window at the seemingly endless stretch of dark highway. The woods loomed on either side, the only light coming from the car’s dim headlights and the faint glow of the moon.
“Is it the engine?” you asked, trying to hide the nervousness creeping into your voice.
Jacob shook his head. “I’m not sure yet. Let me check.”
He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, the door creaking as it closed behind him. You watched him walk around to the front, popping the hood and disappearing into the shadows. The night air seeped into the car, cold and unsettling.
You pulled out your phone to see if there was a signal. Of course, there was none. How could it be a signal in the middle of nowhere? As panic started to rise, you hoped it was something fixable.
Jacob reappeared a few minutes later, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Looks like something’s wrong with the radiator. We’re not going anywhere,” he said with a shrug. “Let me call Dad so he can come get us.” He reached for his phone.
“We can’t. There’s no signal,” you sighed nervously, getting out of the car. “ What are we gonna do now ?”
Seeing your nervous, Jacob said, “Hey, relax. Y/N At least you’re not alone.” With his words, you glanced at him. The idea of spending the night stranded on the side of the road with your best friend—who had suddenly put distance between you for some unknown reason—wasn’t how you had imagined ending the weekend.
But it was better than being alone in the middle of the night, you thought.
“I think there are about 20 miles left. We can go on foot,” he said while looking at the empty road.
“Are you serious? You want to walk all that way? It’s nearly five hours of walking.” You looked at him in disbelief; he couldn’t be serious about this. Not to mention the wild animals that could attack at any moment.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I guess we’re stuck here until our dads realize we’re not home yet.”
“I hope they realize soon.” you said while looking at the endless woods beside you.
A wave of cold swept through you, making you shudder. you rubbled my arms without realizing.
“Y/N, you’re going to get cold. Get in the car,” Jacob said, scanning you. You nodded and went back to the car. Inside wasn’t that warm either since the car broke down, but it was better than being outside.
Jacob sat down in the car too. It was time for silence. Everything was worse between you two now; You had to sit with him on this cold night until God knows when. With the car broken down, the inside was getting colder. You realized your fingertips were freezing, so you put them in your pockets.
“Are you cold, Y/N?” Jacob suddenly asked, concern etched on his face. “Why i am asking? Of course, you are.”
“Thanks for the concern, but unless you have a blanket you can give me, I don’t think you can help,” You said with a sly smile. “Wait, aren’t you cold too?” You asked suddenly, looking at him with a confused expression. The cold didn’t seem to bother him.
At your expression, his concerned face shifted, and he smirked. “No, only weak people like you get cold. Not me.”
Ha ha ha, You laughed ironically. “You are a joker now. Keep the comedy to yourself, I’m freezing.” You said, side-eyeing him.
You were warming to each other, making jokes, but the cold wasn’t letting up. You rubbed your arms again to feel some heat.
“Hey, come here,” he said while opening his arms.
You looked at him, confused. “You want to hug me now? How is that going to help?”
“Since I’m the hot one in both ways, I can help you not die from the cold.” He spoke with a cocky tone. “Besides, if I let you die like this, your dad would kill me too.” Without giving you a chance to respond, he gently pulled you to him and wrapped his arms around you. You rested your head and hands on his chest. He was holding you tight, not letting you escape. Then you realized and asked, “Jacob, why are you so hot?”
“What do you mean? I was always hot,” he said sarcastically.
“No, Jacob, why is your body so hot?” You asked, concerned as you tried to look at his face. “Do you have a fever?” You put your hand on his forehead; he was burning. “Why didn’t you tell me? I let you drive all this—” Your words were interrupted by his laughter.
“Ahh, I missed this,” he sighed. You were still looking worriedly at his face. “No, I’m fine. I’m like this all the time, so it’s not a fever.”
“Did you go to a doctor?”
“Yes, I did,” he said while pulling you closer to his chest. “You don’t need to worry. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure ?” You asked again. Didn’t get satisfied with answers “Yes for the billion time I’m fine.” He smiled with this unending questions.
“That’s good, then,” You said, you felt that he nodded.
All this chatting felt like old times. Both of you were joking again; You were worrying over him, and he was assuring you that he was okay. Just like that time when he fell off his bike and acted like nothing happened because he didn’t want you to worry. Those were good times.
You were getting warmer, of course. Jacob was practically an oven. Lost in your thoughts, a small giggle escaped from your mouth.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Nothing, just my thoughts,” you said. He hummed agreeingly. There was silence again. This was the only time you could get alone with him, so you decided to speak.
“Hey, Jacob.”
“Yes, what’s wrong, Y/N?”
“Do you really miss us?” You asked, your head still on his chest, unable to see his reaction to the question.
He didn’t answer immediately. Then he sighed. “Yes, I do miss us. But there are things, Y/N, I can’t—”
You interrupted him. “What things, Jacob? What is it that you can’t tell your best friend?”
He sighed again, but it was different this time. “There are things that can harm you. You don’t understand now, but I’m trying to protect you.”
“You’re protecting me by leaving and hanging out with Sam? I thought you hated him,” You said with a frustrated voice.
“I did hate him, but now I don’t. It doesn’t matter,” he said. “And yes, I’m protecting you by leaving.” His voice grew louder. You didn’t say anything, then his voice softened. “I wish I could tell you what’s happening, but I can’t. I’m sorry. This is the best for you.”
There was little silence again. You still couldn’t understand why he won’t tell. And it was eating you from inside not getting any answers. You felt desperate. The answers were on tip of his lips but he choose not to say anything. Maybe he didn’t trust you enough to say it. This even made you sadder.
“Will it always be this way until the end?” You asked, your voice cracking. It was your last attempt to get him to speak. Being like this forever made your heart feel so heavy with sorrow. You felt like you were going to cry, so you closed your eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears from escaping.
“Y/N I—” he started, but he didn’t finish his sentence.
You didn’t ask anything else, and he said nothing. Your bodies were close, but not your souls. You were scared to open your eyes again face the facts. With the warmth from him, and with your unending thoughts you fell asleep on his chest.
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im just so fucking done
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apocalypticdemon · 2 months
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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lunar-fey · 14 days
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eating only 3 chocolate chip cookies a day for a week is good and healthy actually ^-^ <- coping with not being able to afford food
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altruistic-meme · 6 months
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............ i want to come out.
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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aller-geez · 5 months
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Vent in the tags, just keep scrolling~
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arcaneyouth · 1 year
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"well at least I'll get good sleep tonight" they said, not getting good sleep tonight
#vent post#negative#doing really fucking bad mentally actually#cant turn my brain off about how mad i am about money#about wasting my fucking time meeting people and their dogs they want me to care for#not getting paid for the fucking meetings that have been half the reason i struggle making progress on my personal projects#undercharging myself to hell and back just for the chance to get A Job#only for them to fucking cancel because they dont respect my time#cancel a meet up 3 hours before. cancel the booking less than 24 hours after making it. make me drive an hour for fucking nothing#begging me to lower my prices which are already lower than everyone in the area#i dont want to work anymore i want it to stop#going to do a week of dog sitting for less than 200 fucking dollars because its the only god damn fucking job i can fuckkng get#and it wont even happen for another month! who knows! they could cancel too!#if they cancel I'm deleting my fucking rover account!#i cant earn money. im trying so hard for nothing.#i cant apply to normal jobs because my job anxiety is So Bad i NEED someone to be with me as i apply showing me how it works#i dont know what job i want because i dont want a job i want to go to bed#im so so tired of going 'this could work! i could make this work!' and it just never gets far enough to matter#after 3 years of no progress you know what! maybe i cant fucking make it work!#i dont want to keep trying with this stupid shit anymore#im not even gonna be able to afford christmas presents this year.#anyways. whats a girl gotta do to get some fuckinf sleep around here
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akascow · 1 year
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starting an art project you intend to sell only to finish and realize you cant part with it ? struggle is real
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strayheat · 2 years
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im starting to feel the "dead" in deadlines
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starrbucky · 4 months
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#cant believe i spent three years telling myself he was just a guy and i was in love with the idea of him not the real him#and that he was nothing special yada yada yada#and then he had the AUDACITY to come back into my life and prove to me that i was WRONG#and i tried SO HARD to deny it but hes SO GOOD goddamn him#hes sooo kind and thoughtful and smart and gentle and i HATE HIM i want to see him every day for the rest of MY LIFE#i want to make him breakfast!!! do you know how bad it has to be for me to want to make a man ANYTHING?#i want to cook a nice warm breakfast and bring it to him in bed and wake him up gently and all that shit that makes me want to VOMIT#FOR A MAN#i cant stress how fucking out of the ordinary that is for me#and still he wants nothing to do with me!#he cares about me. and he obviously thinks im smart and has a pretty good opinion of me#and theres no doubt hes attracted to me cause he cant treat me like a normal fucking human being and be my friend without hitting on me#but he does not WANT ME#he doesnt eat breakfast! hes always in a rush in the morning so he prefers to just skip it! he wouldnt eat breakfast in bed anyway!#and now that ive finally come to this realisation hes fucking MOVING#and im the only one he told like WHY would he do that when he knows i cant be normal about him!!!#and when i reacted the way that i did to the news he tought i was worried about my promotion of all things#cause yeah hes also my boss in all of this since things were so easy#and im like how can you be the smartest person i know and also so fucking DUMB i dont give a shit about a promotion i want you to STAY#STAY.HERE.WHERE I AM. WHERE I CA MAKE YOU BREAKFAST AND PRETEND I JUST CASUALLY BROUGHT FOOD TO WORK WHEN I BROUGHT IT JUST SO THAT I COULD#OFFER IT TO YOU AND YOU COULD SAY NO. I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY NO AND I STILL WANT YOU TO STAY#and i cant say that to him cause i know he KNOWS and thered be no point but im fucking going craaaazy over this like THIS IS NOT ME#and in all of this i know i deserve better. cause i know hes stringing me along whether hes aware of it or not but im tired of this#this has been going on for five years now. im tired of it#and yet i yearn😩 boy do i yearn#anyway ill be back in a couple of months with the next installment of how this 5y half situationship is fucking over my life#for the time being just#ignore me
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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mimiko-doll · 6 months
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#don’t read this if you don’t want to hear about weight loss (unintentional due to health issues)#i’ve been struggling really bad to eat for the latter half of this year which is something i’ve been having issues w the last couple years#but with weed i was still able to eat decent meals and snacks in the evening and i had been slowly gaining weight until this summer#and i’ve always been a little chunky#but i’ve lost at least 30 pounds in the last ~6 months bc i am just unable to eat really at all#everything makes me nauseous or want to gag and when i cook meals i can make myself eat a couple bites so im not starving any more but#i can’t finish anything#and i can only eat in the evenings#from the time i wake up till about 8pm i maybe have a box of apple juice#and ive had a couple appts w my primary care dr and she straight up doesn’t care i asked for an appetite stimulant previously and she just#upped my migraine med instead….and then when i went back and had lost more weight she said she couldn’t even give me#an appetite stimulant and that i would need a referral for a nutritionist…….#and that she wouldn’t be concerned at all if i weren’t losing weight…#and today i was complaining to my mom about how loose my leggings were and i really don’t want to buy new clothes and she was like you know#that’s actually a good thing#you starving every day for fucking months is a good thing actually :)))))))#i’m just so sick of it…i’m sick of my coworkers complimenting me when i am starving and can’t do anything about it….sick of my doctor not#caring bc im still overweight so since i don’t look like im dying it must not be a problem#i don’t know what’s causing this and i don’t know what to do……i miss enjoying food it was one of the very few pleasures i have in life#im tired of unintentionally being an asshole at work bc im so hungry and i feel like shit but if i try to eat ill vom#cant watch food videos on youtube anymore bc they make me ill#cant read anything that mentions food or describes what people are eating anymore bc it makes me gag#im just sick of this#maybe i’ll try to find a new doctor#as if i can afford to go
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1am-s0-veryt1red · 9 months
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ugh I wanted to finish at least half of the waistband on this jacket I'm crocheting by tonight but my back hurts too too much,,,,, I'm so over it
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