#im not even sure if?? anyone else will do this!! <__<

[girlgenius1111]

i'll never leave. never mind.

alexia putellas x reader after the loss of her brother, r tries to deal with her world collapsing. alexia is determined to help her through it, but r doesn't want to drag her girlfriend down with her. some things in life are just too hard to overcome; for r, will this be one of them? angst + fluff. mentions of suicide. basically, a long fic about grief and healing. this is so sad and so long im so sorry. fluff throughout though, because i'm me.

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The phone was staring at you, you were sure. Or maybe it was the missed calls from your girlfriend, the dry texts you’d sent her that gave no indication of how you were feeling. You were at the airport, flying back to Barcelona, and Alexia didn’t even know you were coming. Originally, you weren’t supposed to fly back until the weekend. You’d moved your flight up, though, beyond desperate to see Alexia. 

Your perfect girlfriend, who had been checking on you everyday. Who had offered to come to you if you needed her, no matter what it took. You’d been distant, and you knew it. From the moment you’d heard, you’d pulled away from Alexia. It wasn’t what she’d wanted, and it wasn’t what you’d wanted, but there was no choice for you. Everyone else had to come first. 

You were putting everyone else first when you played in the second leg against Chelsea, hours after finding out that your brother was dead. When you flew home right from London, but didn’t let Alexia go with you. When you’d insisted she return to Barcelona with the team, that she couldn’t come with you. When you only called her to say a brief goodnight, only returned her texts to assure her that you were, in fact, okay. 

It would have made her insecure, maybe, if she hadn’t been so sure of what you were doing. Alexia had always been your safe place. The person you were always comfortable crying in front of, the person you told your biggest fears too. Avoiding her meant avoiding feeling. 

You were the oldest, and with that came the responsibility to be strong. For your parents and your other siblings, you had to be the strong one. Alexia had heard from your sister, Bella, that you’d taken care of everything related to the funeral. You’d jumped head first into planning it, barely taking a second to greet your family before you were asking about flower arrangements and eulogies. Bella told Alexia that she hadn’t seen you shed a single tear. You were a shell of yourself, yes, but it was numbness that you radiated, not pain. Not the agony she was sure you were feeling. You had decided that you had to be strong for everyone else, and that meant not feeling any of it. That meant pushing down every emotion, no matter what it took. 

And if anyone understood that, it was Alexia. She had done the same thing when she’d lost her father; held everything together for her sister and her mother. She pretended she was fine. Alexia had held her sister as she cried, and helped her mother cook and clean and plan. She’d been the oldest, and she’d been strong too. 

Alexia had lasted a few weeks, pretending she was okay. Before every emotion she’d ignored spilled out and she broke. Completely and entirely broke. And she knew, very well, that you were headed for the same thing if you didn’t stop pushing everything down.

There wasn’t much she could do from hundreds of miles away, though, so she did her best to text and call you and remind you, every second of every day, that she loved you more than anything. And that she was only a phone call away. Even if you hadn’t been very receptive to these reminders, you’d noticed, and she knew you appreciated them.  

Now, though, sitting in the bustling airport, you were afraid to go home. Afraid to face your girlfriend, whom you’d been practically ignoring. Afraid to face the reality that was regular life without your brother. Afraid to face every dark and painful emotion you’d been ignoring. You pushed and pushed and pushed them away, until you couldn’t really even remember what it felt like to feel. You were numb. And you weren’t sure if you wanted to stay that way or not. 

What you did want, though, was Alexia. You wanted her to hold you, wanted to hear her heartbeat in your ear. Feel her kiss the top of your head, and scratch your back as you fell asleep. So, it was to Barcelona, to home, to Alexia, that you went, 5 full days before you were supposed to. You just needed to work up the guts to tell Alexia that you were coming home. 

------

Alexia made up her mind to fly to you half a dozen times, only to talk herself out of it. She had no idea how you were feeling, how you were doing, other than the very unsettling updates she’d gotten from your sister. She ached to hear your voice and feel your warm body pressed against hers; she was miserable. 

The team had just arrived at Johan for the midweek match when you finally did call her. Shushing everyone dramatically, Alexia rushed out of the room and answered. 

“Hi Ale.” 

“Mi amor.” She sighed, deeply relieved to hear the sound of your voice. You sounded numb and completely unlike yourself, but you were calling her all the same. 

“Hi.” You repeated, a bit weakly. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.” 

Alexia wanted to cry. Your brother's funeral had been today, and still you remembered to call her and wish her luck on a match she was a bit nervous for. “Thank you, amor. How are you? Are you sure I can’t come today after the match? You are there through this weekend, I want to be with you.” 

“No, no it’s okay. I’m at the airport right now, actually. I’ll be home tonight.” You admitted, nibbling on your lip anxiously. 

“You are coming home today? I thought you were going to stay with your family for a bit longer.” Alexia was thrilled, honestly, but still confused. 

“I was, but I changed my mind. It’s been crazy here, I just want to come home.” 

“Okay, amor. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. When do you land?”

“Right before the match ends. I’ll probably beat you home.” 

“I am excited to see you, bebe. I have missed you so much.” The captain told you gently, using the soft voice that she really only used with you. One that was dripping with love. 

“I’ve missed you too.” You whispered. “You have no idea.” 

“Soon though. Soon. I will come home straight after the game.” 

“Thank you, Alexia. For being so understanding and patient, I’m sorry I’ve been weird this week-”

“Do not apologize, please. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She paused, hearing shouts of her name coming from the other room. “I have to go, but I’ll see you soon. So soon.” 

“Bye, Ale. I love you, good luck today.” 

After hanging up, Alexia knew she had to get her head in the game. There was a match to play, a team that needed her. And even if her heart was boarding a plane in England, getting ready to fly back to her, she had to focus. For the next few hours at least. 

------

Alexia was barely through the door before you were crashing into her arms, absolutely launching your body at hers. You were trembling, trying to contain the whine that came from deep in your throat at the feeling of being safe again. The blonde grabbed you fiercely, pulling you into her arms and squeezing tight. You were lifted off the ground briefly, but you barely even registered it, gripping the blonde’s sweatshirt tight in your fists and shoving your face into her shoulder. 

 Alexia had been trying not to be worried this whole time that you didn’t need her, didn’t want her. She knew, logically, why you were acting the way you had been, but she wasn’t immune to doubts and insecurity. Now, though, with you holding onto her for dear life, she knew she’d been ridiculous. 

“My girl. I’ve got you.” She whispered, feeling you nod into her chest. After a minute, Alexia eased you back and took your face in between her hands, trying to get a good look at your face. You looked like you’d lost weight, and like you hadn’t slept in days. Your eyes were cloudy, gazing up at Alexia like you barely knew she was there. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with you now that she had you back with her. You looked so unlike yourself, so out of it. Alexia didn't think she could get anymore worried, but that was before she’d seen you. 

You weren’t crying, just shaking. Just holding onto Alexia like you were afraid if you let go, she’d disappear. 

“I saw your goal.” You said after a minute. 

Alexia smiled gently at you, pushing a strand of hair away from your face. “It was for you, and for Wesley.”

You flinched at your brother’s name. At the reminder of what had happened. Any minute you could go without thinking about it was a victory, but when you inevitably remembered, it felt like the weight of the world settled back on your shoulders. 

And it was this weight that prompted what you said next. 

“I think we should take a break.” You said blankly, avoiding the midfielder’s eyes at all cost. 

Alexia was stunned into silence for a minute. A different day, a different Alexia, and she would have shut down. Taken your statement as rejection, and left the apartment without another word. But everything about your body language was screaming to her that you didn't mean it. Still gripping her shirt tightly in your hands, still trembling in her arms, you seemed terrified to allow your girlfriend to help you, and terrified to allow her to go. 

“No.” Alexia said simply. 

“Ale, I can’t do this. I have to deal with this, I don’t- I can’t. Everything is so messed up now. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t put you through this, too. I can’t make you figure this out with me. We should just take a few weeks apart, so I can pull myself together, and you don’t have to worry-”

“Stop. No. You are not putting me through anything. I am committed to you, I love you, and I am not going anywhere. Especially not now. If you think I am going to let you go through this alone, you are crazy. You need me, how could I go?” 

“I… I don’t need you.” You said weakly, as if you hadn’t tackled her in a hug the moment you saw her, as if you weren’t inching closer to her every passing second, like the small amount of space in between the two of you was too much.

“You do. And I know that is scary, but I am not leaving. Let me be here. Please.” 

“I’m not… I’m not okay.” It was barely more than a mumble, but Alexia nodded sympathetically. 

“You are not okay. You don’t need to protect me from that, amor. I can be strong for the both of us. I can be whatever you need me to be.” 

A small whimper fell from your lips before you could stop it. There wasn’t any fight left in you, now, not when Alexia was saying all the right things.  “You’re sure?” 

Alexia pulled you in once more, and tucked your head under her chin. “I am sure.” 

“Okay.” You allowed, leaning back after a moment to place a very gentle kiss on your girlfriend’s cheek. 

Taking your face into her hands, Alexia frowned, her thumb tracing over the dark circles under your eyes. You looked shattered, drained completely of energy. “Amor…” 

“Can we go to sleep, Ale? I’m really tired.” 

Alexia could tell. “Of course. Did you not sleep well while you were gone?” 

“No.” You sighed, before hesitantly continuing. “I barely slept, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to now, but I always sleep better next to you, but I don’t know if you’re tired…”

Alexia nodded enthusiastically. “Whatever you need, amor. You have to eat something first, though.” 

You looked away from her. “I ate at the airport.” 

Alexia hummed, a sinking feeling growing in her chest. “No you didn’t. Do you want to shower while I make you something?” 

You nodded begrudgingly, and Alexia kissed you on the cheek before sending you on your way. 

Dinner was a quiet affair. You came out of the shower looking just as you had before. Numb, broken. Alexia had made your favorite for dinner, and you ate as much as you could, which really, wasn’t much at all. The blonde was just glad to get some food into you. You didn’t really remember Alexia pulling you into the bedroom, or tugging on pajamas that were definitely hers. Suddenly, you were in your bed, head resting against Alexia’s chest, her heartbeat steady in your ear. Suddenly, you were safe again. Safe to feel, safe to hurt. You’d just spent so much time not doing either of those things, that you weren’t really sure how to access the emotions you’d spent days repressing. All you knew was that you didn’t want Alexia to ever let you go. 

“Mi amor, do you want to talk?” Her chest vibrated under you as you spoke. 

“About what?”

“How you are feeling?”

“I’m… coping.” You told her weakly. Alexia’s hand found its way into your hair, carefully running through the wet strands. You sighed quietly, snuggling in closer to your girlfriend, even as you knew she was pushing you to have a conversation you didn't really want to partake in. 

“I do not think you are. I talked to your sister, she is worried about you. I am too. Please, just talk to me.” 

You turned slightly, hiding your face more in Alexia’s shirt. “I don’t know what to say, Ale. I don’t know where to start.” 

She hummed sympathetically. “Can I ask you questions? Would that be easier?” 

And you didn’t want to answer questions, but you knew it was best if you opened up to Alexia, even if it was just a little, so you nodded. 

“How was your flight?” She asked. You cracked a smile at her question, clocking that she was starting off simple to ease you into talking to her. She knew you so well, sometimes it felt like she knew you better than you knew yourself. 

“Alright. I slept for most of it, but I watched some of the match.”  

For the next few minutes, Alexia asked questions about your trip, about your sister’s new haircut that you hated. You wilted slightly when she asked about your other brother, and she picked up on that right away.

“Why did you come home so early?” She wondered. You inhaled deeply, rolling off of her and onto your back. You stared at the ceiling, knowing that the truth would make her angry. Not at you, but angry nonetheless, and you didn’t want that. 

“I missed you a lot.” You murmured, refusing to look her in the eye, even as she rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow facing you. 

“I missed you, too. Every second you were gone.” She promised, gently removing a stray eyelash from the side of your face and holding it out for you to blow away. It was an adorable habit she had, always insisting you make a wish. “There is more, though.”

There was no question in Alexia’s words and you sighed again, nodding slowly. “I got into an argument with Bennett. About Wes. We weren’t really speaking to each other after the funeral and it was so tense in the house, I just had to get out of there.” 

“What did you fight about?” 

A tear slid down your face as you shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about that, please.” 

“Okay bebé.” Alexia wiped the tear away with her thumb, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of your eye, as if to soothe your tears. She pulled the covers of the bed higher, desperately trying to make you more comfortable as you suddenly looked to be in agonizing pain. “Did your parents and your sister choose sides?” 

Alexia knew your family well enough to know how an argument would go. Normally, your sister and your older brother would easily agree with your parents, regardless of the topic. And your parents always took their side. Bella and Bennett were twins, the golden children, and it was clear for anyone to see that your parents treated them differently. Without Wes around to mediate, Alexia was sure that you would have been all alone in whatever you were fighting about, and she knew how much you despised conflict. 

Bottom lip wobbling pathetically, you nodded. “Yeah. They all agreed with Ben. None of them… none of them were really talking to me when I left. Bella felt bad, but my parents didn’t say goodbye when I left for the airport.” 

The midfielders stomach twisted at that, knowing how desperately you sought your parents praise and approval. For them to let you fly back across the continent without even a goodbye, after losing their son, after you lost your brother, was cruel. “I am so sorry, amor. That isn’t fair.” 

“I feel like everyone is mad at me.” You whispered, linking your fingers with Alexia’s. 

“I am not mad at you.” Alexia replied, leaning in against to kiss the corner of your mouth. “You are my favorite person in the world, and I am not mad at you. Does that feel better?” 

“Yeah.” You told her, finally shifting to look up at her face. Another few tears slipped down your face and you took a shaky breath. “I want this to all be some horrible nightmare. I want to wake up and find out he’s still here. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” 

“What do you feel?” Alexia asked again, still not letting a single tear make it off your face before she swiped it away. 

This time, you answered her. 

“Everything hurts.” 

“I know.” She whispered, doing her best to pull you closer into her body. 

“I feel like… like I'm broken. Like I'm suffocating. Like I will never feel whole again. I am empty. And I am so fucking sad but I can’t feel it. I can’t make myself feel it. It’s there, locked away, and all I can do is sit. And think. And wish I was dead instead of him.” The last sentence was barely audible, but Alexia heard it clearly. 

She shut her eyes tightly, wrapping her arms tighter around you, as if that would make it better. “Please do not say that.” 

“He called me. That night, he called me and I declined the call. Because we had a match the next day. And now he's dead, and it is my fault.” You admitted, feeling simultaneously like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders at your confession, but another weight added on with the knowledge that your girlfriend would not know exactly what kind of awful person you were. 

But Alexia was Alexia, and she didn’t even flinch at your words. She simply pressed a kiss to your temple and said the words you’d been aching to hear. Words you wanted to believe, words you were scared you never would. “You could not have known, that is not your fault.”

You looked up at her, trying to gauge the sincerity of what she was saying, and found only overwhelming love in her eyes. It was too much. It was love you didn’t deserve. Not when this was your fault. You had never been more convinced in your life than in that moment that you didn't’ deserve Alexia. Her love, her care, her affection, her perfection. She was wholly too good for you. “I don’t even know how you can look at me right now, Ale.”

Your girlfriend shook her head, stunned that you would think such a thing. That you would expect her to blame you for something that was not your fault. Her touch was delicate as she pushed a lock of hair away from your forehead and it was too kind. Too soft. 

You yanked yourself out of her arms, even if it felt like you were ripping your heart out of your chest in doing so. With no destination in mind, you walked away from the bed and tried to leave the room, but Alexia grabbed you first. 

“My love.” She murmured, drawing you into a tight embrace. Alexia very rarely used terms of endearment for you that weren’t in spanish. She only did so when she wanted you to hear what she was saying, clearly. Her hands were insistent on your face, tilting it up so that you could only look into her warm hazel eyes. There was nothing but adoration on her face, and you were sure you didn’t deserve it.  “I can look at you because I love you. More than anything in this world, I love you. What happened is not your fault.” 

You shook your head pathetically, but your movements were stilled by Alexia’s strong hands on either side of your face. 

“It is not your fault.” She insisted. “And I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now, but I will always be kind to you. Even when you are not being kind to yourself.”

You shut your eyes tightly, desperately trying not to cry. Pitching forward, you pressed your face into Ale’s chest, unable to resist the peace and comfort that she provided. She shushed you softly, raining kisses down onto the top of your head. 

“It hurts, Ale,” you whimpered. 

Alexia held you tighter.

“I know, bebé. This is so hard, mi amor, I know that. But you will get through this. We will get through this together. I will not leave your side for a single second, do you understand? I love you. You are going to be okay.” 

Without even being aware that Alexia was moving you, you suddenly found yourself back on the bed, sitting sideways across your girlfriend’s lap. She was always so gentle. So kind. And you didn’t deserve it, you knew that. But the thought of having to go through this without her was overwhelming, devastating. You fought against the urge to cry, terrified that if you let go, she would leave. 

“I can’t do this without you,” you whimpered, holding tightly to her shirt and pressing your face into her neck. You could feel her nod from there, and you settled a bit, especially as her grip on you was tight and unrelenting. 

“You will not have to. I am here with you, mi amor. Right here with you.” She promised, shifting to wrap one arm around your midsection and cradle the back of your head with her other hand. 

“I-I… I can’t,” you stuttered, trying to swallow the lump in your throat even as it constricted tighter and tighter and you knew your efforts would be futile. 

“It is alright, bebé. You can cry. I am right here.” She affirmed again. 

A choked sob fell from your lips as you finally gave in, as the tidal wave of emotion you’d been running from finally caught up to you. It dragged you under the surface over and over, until you could hardly breathe. Until there was nothing else in the room with you but despair. 

You cried for your brother, for who he was and who he would never become. 

For yourself. Because you didn’t answer the phone, but also because you knew deep in your soul that answering would not have changed anything. 

You cried for your siblings, for your parents. Who were so destroyed that they sought out something, someone to blame. Even though they landed on you, even though you needed them. They needed you, but differently. They needed to blame you. It had to be your fault, or it might be theirs. 

You cried for Alexia, because you knew you had put her through hell the past week, and it would only continue. You cried because she was perfect and because you loved her. You cried because she loved you. 

You cried for the first time since hearing about what had happened. You cried for sweet, sweet Wes, who deserved better from everyone in his life. You included, but not only you. 

You cried because it felt like a part of you was dead, too. 

The part that was still alive, though, forced you to listen. To Alexia’s steady heartbeat, and the soft words she whispered. To her reminders to breathe, and her reminders that she loved you. If what you were feeling was a tsunami, Alexia was the high ground that would keep you safe. Keep you alive. 

You clung to that safety, that security. Without her, you might have drifted off. Not to sleep, but away. You’d never have to find out, though. Because Alexia wasn’t going anywhere. Not when you cried, not when you couldn’t breathe, not when you couldn’t speak. She’d bring you back to her every time. Because she loved you. And it didn't matter that you weren’t sure you were deserving of her love. She loved you anyway. 

Once your cries had slowed to pitiful sniffles, the midfielder laid you down carefully next to her, curling her body around yours. You were engulfed in her arms, and the soft blankets on the bed, a safe little cocoon. Alexia couldn’t tell if your eyes were half shut because they were swollen from crying, or if you were exhausted. Probably both. 

Her finger traced little shapes over your cheek as she whispered to you. “Sleep mi amor. I’ve got you. You are safe, and you are okay. Just relax.” 

Her eyes were locked on yours, encouraging you to give in and let yourself rest. Her words, too, felt like a very convincing drug, and you were letting your cheek rest against her chest before you knew it, letting the repetitive beating of her heart lull you to sleep. 

-----

You slept solidly, for the first time in a week. Straight through the night, no interruptions. Well, until morning came, and then you were awoken by quiet crunching. You stretched a bit, not yet ready to open your eyes, but aware from the amount of sun in the room that it was late morning. The crunching stopped as soon as you moved, and you quickly realized you were not curled up against your girlfriend, like you normally slept. Rolling over, you squinted your eyes open and saw Alexia looking guilty down at you, a handful of granola in her hand frozen halfway to her mouth. 

“Sorry.” She whispered. 

It wasn’t really that funny, but you found yourself giggling to yourself, until Alexia started laughing with you. 

“You had to get the crunchiest thing in the kitchen?” You questioned, barely getting the words out through your laughter.. She shook her head at you, putting the bag of granola down and pulling you into her arms. 

“I was going for what would leave the most crumbs in the sheets.” She said cheerily, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. 

“You are so dumb.” You chuckled, sighing comfortably back in her embrace. 

“I am smart.” Alexia declared, before she turned slightly serious. “You can sleep more if you need, bonita. It is 11:30, but we do not have anything we need to do today.” 

“No, it’s okay. I should get up.” 

“Thank god. I am starving and you make better breakfast than I do.” 

You fought a smile, finding the effort she was putting in to make you laugh quite endearing. “You could have woken me if you were hungry. Or gone and gotten something to eat.” Your attempt to slide out of bed was halted by Alexia’s grip tightening around you, her voice soft in your ear. 

“No, you needed to rest. And you were holding on to me in your sleep. I did not want to leave you for long.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, no apologies. You need me, I am here. If you need me to lay in bed and cuddle you for half the day, I am more than happy to do that.” She said it so earnestly, you almost felt like crying. 

“Ale, you know I love you, right? More than anything?” 

She nodded, shifting you in her arms to be able to press her forehead to yours. “And I love you. More than all the stars in the sky.” 

You gave her a watery smile, gently pecking her lips with yours. “That is very corny.” 

“There are no ways to tell you how I love you without being corny. You will just have to get used to it.” Alexia whispered, connecting her lips with yours again. It was soft and loving, reflecting everything she’d just said to you. Alexia always made sure to tell you what she felt about you, as well as show you. She was perfect in that way. 

-----

Your words from the previous evening hung between you both like a dark cloud. Alexia was doing her best to treat you normally, you could tell. She didn’t want to hover, but she was filled to the brim with worry for you. So, you took the first step, and brought it up while the two of you were making breakfast.

Clearing your throat, you focused on carefully cutting up the fruit, sure that if you kept yourself slightly distracted, you wouldn’t get too upset.“Last night. What I said…” 

“What did you say?” Alexia asked casually, though you could feel her eyes burning into the back of your head from the opposite counter.  

“I said that I wished I-”

“I remember.” Alexia cut you off not unkindly, abandoning the coffee she was making in favor of walking to you and wrapping her arms around your abdomen. Her chin perched itself on your shoulder, and you leaned back into her, letting your eyes flutter shut. 

“I didn’t mean it.” You told her. Her silence told you she was skeptical, and she should have been. “Okay, I did mean it. But I would never do anything stupid, okay? I would never… do what he did. I am upset and I am hurting but I know… know that I can be okay again. I think.” 

All the tension left your girlfriend’s body, and you were only aware of how stressed she had been once she relaxed. She sagged into you, burying her face in the crook of your neck and nodding rapidly. “Good. Good. I love you. So much.” You moved to return to chopping your fruit, but the blonde took the knife from your hand and set it down, before spinning you to face her. She was completely serious as she addressed you. “If you ever felt like that,” 

“Alexia, I am not going to...” You let the sentence fade out, inhaling deeply again before you continued. “I wouldn’t do that to you, or to my family, I wouldn’t be that-” 

You cut yourself off, shaking your head. Alexia didn’t let you pull out of her grasp like you wanted to, studying your face closely. 

“You are angry with him, sí?” Alexia asked carefully. She was too perceptive for her own good sometimes. 

“Yeah.” Admitting it felt like a betrayal. 

“That is okay. You can be angry.” 

You weren’t convinced and Alexia ached to make you understand that your feelings, whatever they were, were valid. Still, she knew when to push and when not to, so she let it go. For now.

With a soft kiss on your lips, she nudged you back to the fruit, whining dramatically that she was hungry. Alexia could always make a situation light hearted again with just a few words, and that was something you realized you hadn’t appreciated enough until now. 

-----

Alexia’s brain hurt from thinking. Around and around in circles, wishing she could convince herself she was wrong about the conclusion she had come to. You were sitting in between her legs on the couch, half watching the football match on TV, half enjoying the way Alexia’s fingers played with your hair. She couldn’t stop thinking about the fight you’d said you had with your brother, and what it could have been about. How bad it could have been for you to leave home early, for your parents not to be speaking to you, especially after everything that had happened. Alexia thought and thought and thought until she couldn’t take it anymore, and then she just asked. 

“Can I ask you something?” The blonde murmured, finishing the braid she was twisting your hair into, only to take it out and start again. 

Her hands playing with your hair was ridiculously soothing, and you only hummed in response.

“The fight with your brother? Was that about Wes calling you that night?” 

All the work Alexia had done to get your body to relax was undone as soon as the words left her mouth. Your shoulders scrunched back up, and you went back to picking at your cuticles. You’d already made a few nails bleed this morning, and your girlfriend sighed internally as you another one began to bleed, too. 

“Yes. I didn’t tell them right away, but my dad went through Wes’ phone and that was the last call he made.” Your voice broke, and Alexia abandoned your hair in favor of pulling you into her, your back to her front. “He asked me about it, and Ben just… freaked out.” 

“What did Bennett say?” She wondered, pulling each of your hands into hers in an effort to stop the damage you were inflicting on your nails. 

“He said I should have answered. That is wasn’t enough that I left the country for football, left Wes behind, but I ignored his call even though family is supposed to be the most important thing. And that he blames me. He said that if I had answered, Wes would be alive.” 

“What did your parents say?” 

“They agreed with Ben. Said I shouldn’t come home until I decide to start putting my family first. My dad said…” Again, you trailed off. This time, it was because you weren’t sure you had the strength to repeat what had been said to you. 

“Tell me, baby.” Alexia encouraged, hoping that if she held you tight enough, the pain would leave you alone for a while. 

“He said it was my fault his son was dead, and if there was any justice in the world it would have been me instead.” You whispered, Alexia’s sharp intake of air closely mirroring what your reaction had been. “I moved my flight after that. I still had to go to the funeral, but I wanted to leave as soon as I could.” 

It was overwhelming, everything your girlfriend was feeling, and she couldn’t even imagine the turmoil you were in at the moment. The urge to call your father and give him a piece of her mind was almost as strong as the urge to wrap you up in a blanket against her and never let anyone hurt you again. Almost. 

“Mi preciosa, he is wrong. That is not true. Your brother never would have wanted you to blame yourself. He loved you so much, and he knew you loved him too. He would be angry if he knew how everyone was treating you. Amor, you know this, right?” 

Your shrug was not good enough for Alexia.

“This was not your fault. It is not on you. You are a good person, and an incredible sister. Your parents and Bennett, they are hurting, but they should not have said the things they have said.  It hurts them that this happened out of their control, and they just want someone to blame. It is not fair that it is you, amor, but they are wrong. They are so, so wrong.” 

“I want to believe that.” You replied, hanging onto her every word even if it felt like everything she was saying was much too generous to you. “I just don’t know how to.” 

Alexia nodded, her lips finding your cheek in a gentle peck. “I will remind you every day, until you believe it. You are good, you are loved, and this was not your fault.” She repeated herself, and you shut your eyes, trying to force the reassurances to seep into your brain, and hopefully stay there. 

When you opened your eyes again, turning slightly so you could see her face, you believed her just a bit more. Bit by bit, Alexia would convince you. Just like she’d convinced you that she loved you. Like she’d convinced you to let her start putting some of her clothes in your half of the closet, and that cappuccinos were better than lattes.  She was persuasive, your Alexia. Unrelenting, determined, and persuasive. When she set her mind on something, she didn’t give up. It was this tendency of hers that had you almost convinced that you’d survive this. Even if it was the hardest thing you’d ever do, Alexia would get you through it. 

“What have I done to deserve you?” You murmured, looking up at her with something close to awe on your face. 

“You did not have to do anything. I love you. You deserve to be loved.” Alexia replied easily. She didn’t think twice before she spoke. It wouldn’t ever not surprise you how easily, how fully, Alexia loved you, and that was okay. You never wanted Alexia’s love to grow mundane, or unsurprising. You wanted the force of her love to always knock you off your feet, just a little. Because you were pretty sure the force of your love for her would always be overpowering, too. 

-------

this was so dialogue heavy and im not sure i don't think it's awful and too depressing, so thanks for sticking around to the end if you did :)

not... opposed to a part 2 honestly. i have a little part written about alexia trying to deal with r's grief, while also finding it to be such a harsh reminder of her own experience. but i'm not sure what else it would be, or if anyone would want it anyway so. give me your thoughts :)

[feistyvirghoe]

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 1 - you guys have such bright, very infectious because i’m just so giddy right now, yalls energy just shines bright like the sun omg, so full of positivity and love, happy as a child fr. i feel like people just like to consume your energy, has them all over the place, like pleading, there’s a push and pull effect you have, like you can be the most positive, optimistic person full of fucking light but then you have that other side to you that has people on their knees, like they can’t hold it in with you, the focus is on you guys, you’re hardworking and when you’re ready to fucking commit to something and go you just do it and get it started but you also know how to be inclusive and make others feel welcomed. i feel like people just want you to look at them, acknowledge them, you guys can adapt easily and may be spread out everywhere, you can’t just stay stuck to one thing and even within relationships im not saying you’re non-committal but you know your worth and some people and things just aren’t worth your time, you’re like a temptation, watch out for users and takers that may want to swindle you for whatever reason. you’re in tune with your femme side, you truly don’t need anyone to validate you and that’s a flex babe…it’s all you, something about the way you love and care for others, never dim that part of yourself, it’s so beautiful, the way you can own your mfkn power is by not letting bozos or losers come in and try to knock u off ur damn throne, standing up for yourself, believing that you’re fucking powerful just by being your true authentic self, confidently strutting your stuff, not giving away too much of yourself as well, connecting with your innermost self, reminding yourself who you are deep down inside, not being swayed the outside opinions of others, you may be a lil homebody and that’s okay..you’re sure of yourself and you don’t need anyone up in your face trying to fucking control you and make u feel small, by continuing to protect yourself in a healthy way, strong fucking boundaries is what needs to be set, don’t let these weirdos try to come in and fucking knock down your walls with their hateration and disgusting jealousy, show yourself off, embrace that fire within you, dont second guess yourself or make yourself small to fit in, burn bright baby boo. an affirmation for u - “i am a badass warrior and i conquer self doubt like it’s my fucking job!”

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 2 - your gentleness makes u fucking strike like lightning and i know you’re like “how?” babe we need more kind people like you on this planet, this world is so full of hatred and evil people, you’re kindness and compassion and just love for others makes you fucking strike babe, you’re a giver, very generous individual but i can see that you protect your heart as well, you know not to let shady people come and try to steal your energy, yeah that’s a thing, and you may need to be careful of that too, giving yourself away to undeserving people. you’re so content and just emotionally fulfilled on your own, u truly do not need someone else to fill your cup but im betting there’s a lot of people that would love to if you’d let them, you’re allowed be taken care of and poured into. but with how abundant your energy is and just how rich you are in spirit, of course it’d attract a bunch of energy vampires, just people with weird intentions. very emotionally mature and also vulnerable as well, well with the right people of course but you don’t hide how you’re feeling, and thats literally okay, you’re allowed to fucking let yourself feel free expressing what and how you’re feeling if that makes sense haha. you may throw people off, it’s like they dont expect YOU, like literally just you, your compassionate self. you don’t chase after people bc you know you’re already secure inside so don’t doubt that. maybe you really second guess yourself and how you’re coming off to others but i feel like people just see such a pure genuine soul, not just a nice person but a very kindhearted soul. you make others feel calm, like just content and chill haha. i feel like yall just make people smile, like smirking to themselves just thinking about you, omg admiring you and adoring you, u could be all up in people’s heads, unforgettable, maybe some just want to indulge themselves in you, just be cautious and aware of snakes hidden in the grass. i feel like i could go on and on about you guys, i dont want to make it too long though ;) your sweetness dude, you’re just like a lil fucking teddy bear ahhhh, someone who loves to help others, doesn’t matter what it may be just serving, wanting to be useful to others? maybe ppl have made u feel worthless bc of how kind you are like as if that’s boring or some shit, ignore those ppl, we need more kindness and love, don’t hide that side of yourself idc, let others who want to appreciate you show you their love. you’re also very in tune with your spiritual side and i feel you may dim that down too as if you’re not gifted i mean you’re here right?? embrace that side of yourself, you don’t even know how helpful you are to others, i feel like your generosity and just your pure loving soul is what puts a smile on others faces, so balanced, you’re just an unforgettable nurturer, a whole sweetie pie, a cutie pie ahhh, just such a sweet soul okay here’s an affirmation for you <3 “success is my middle name; watch me fucking conquer.” “i choose to surround myself with people who fucking respect me” and to own your power i feel like you just need to see you more, like you’re the one who can stay calm during the stormy weather, a shield for others, very protective over your loved ones and self, stay true to that boo! <33

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 3 - i feel like y’all are my glamorous pile, the ones ready to put their feet on the fucking ground and nobody ain’t going to fucking get in your way and stop you lmfao i’m hearing under the influence by chris brown, i feel like you guys got people feeling like they on drugs around you, your energy is intoxicating and addicting, some may even wanna knock u up to keep you as theirs wtf okay anyways hahahaha okay i feel like the way yall strike is like you’re in that empress energy very strong minded, in touch with your feminine side and you know when to cut a bitch off but then with that, the same people you cut off may try to come back and slither their way back into your life omg what the hell, so you guys are like the “heartbreakers” but not really because you just know your fucking worth more than what lames can give to you and not just that how they’re with you as well, goes for any relationship, you know when to fucking walk away and you’re not taking weird bullshit from anyone, you don’t play, i feel like your anger plays a part in making you fucking powerful, when you’re done you’re done and you can easily see through people’s bullshit, their facade, in hearing shit you up, lol u piss people off, idk what you’re truly doing, it could honestly just be you and your awareness, you’re not going to stand down and make yourself a tiny purse dog lmfao, very sassy as well, like no one can fucking control you, even if they wanted to, you guys make people uncomfortable but that’s there own issue, you may the wrong people for you uncomfortable haha, they try to fucking go and go at you relentlessly attacking you for no reason, so i can see why you’re protective of yourself and u don’t stand down, i mean with weird people like this honestly weird energy like this coming for y’all i understand why, it’s like you’re power makes others want to overthrow you and try and like one up you, just weird, got people competing for u and against you, i feel like they’re jealous of your fucking success and not just material success but your ambition, your drive, your resilience, never giving up on yourself no matter how hard it gets, you’re your own positive light in your life, you know how to make yourself happy, still shining, blowing out your candles, celebrating your fucking self like you should! yeah your fucking power just makes others despise you lmfao weird as hell, you live life on your own goddamn terms and you’re not sitting around waiting for anyone, a leader on your own, it’s like a natural quality of yours, you just know how to be up in front exuding dominance, like a lion, your walk may just give off CONFIDENCE i mean you have the emperor here, you’re just a fucking natural at it, it comes easily to you so i can see why others may feel offended by your power but they’re just projecting and not seeing their own power within themself, you look ahead, you don’t look for others, they look for you, goddamn lmfao! affirmations for you guys - “i’m letting go of negative bullshit, toxic people, and self doubt. i’m creating a fucking epic life on my own terms!” & “i am enough, i have enough, and damn right im fucking worth it!”

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 4 - i can see you guys regenerating in hermit mode, like taking some time to be alone with yourself building your power back up and cleansing yourself of all the weird energies you may have encountered, you like your solitude, my loners here, the ones who don’t mind leaving the party early, ready to go home and chill the fuck out or going on adventures by yourself and taking some time to just connect with your higher self if u wanna say that, just going within and seeing that light within yourself, you blossom on your own, you know how to make sure busy, it’s like when quarantine was around heavy, it didn’t phase this group, maybe it was even like a fuck yeah moment, nobody outside to bother you hahaha, like you guys may love to work out and get back to yourself that way, doing yoga, stretching, moving your body, but you may also be very cautious of the outside world, like you just jumped off the boat into uncharted territory taking time to feel out the place/environment/energy just watching where you’re stepping, or what you’re stepping into, making your way as you go along whatever journey you may be on, weighing out your options, not making hasty decisions, a thinker, maybe even a realist too. calm, balanced people here, like a lot of introspection, a very nostalgic person too. embracing the old memories, in tune with your childhood self, doing things that fuel your soul and what makes you feel the most peaceful, maybe you guys struggle with the mind so grounding yourself and staying away from the crowd is what helps you to stay sane and sharp, for you to be your most powerful self i feel like you just need that time away from everyone. yep it’s like you can’t really count on other people, do people make you second guess yourself, it’s like you’re there for everyone but they couldn’t even be bothered to hear you out, don’t give so much of yourself away to ungrateful people. you matter a lot and i can see this may be draining you as well, probably why you’re very cautious, but remember don’t keep yourself stuck on others weird projections and how they may try to take from you, it’s okay to be alone and regroup, if some one is offended by that then that’s there issue. the way u, my group four babies can uplift yourself and own your power is by letting yourself fucking shine and put yourself out there, confidently, i feel like people like making you guys feel small and quiet like a mouse, but you’re not a goddamn mouse you’re the fucking cat, and cats do whatever the hell they want to do, use your voice and own that fucking power, your words hold weight, speak more positively over your life and your self, unbiased opinions and being straightforward with your communication, don’t close yourself off from true unconditional love too..you deserve to be recognized and appreciated for all you do!!! keep fucking going, don’t give up on love, that goes for loving yourself too!! every fucking part of you and yes even the ugly bc the ugly is actually beautiful and makes you see the parts of you that you want to grow from and evolve beautifully into a better version of yourself! affirmations for y’all - “i’m unstoppable and nothing can hold me back, not even my fucking fears.” “my uniqueness shines like a freaking diamond! confidence? it’s my middle name, baby!” “i’m a badass boss babe and i don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks. i rock my confidence like a boss!”

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐀𝐂, 𝐢 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢’𝐦 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐡𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐮𝐩, 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐟𝐫, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭!! 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐌𝐖𝐀𝐇 (^з^)-☆

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I can completely break down the notion that jews do not experience ethnic discrimination within western countries, specifically the USA.

for context I am genetically half jewish and half italian, and since I was born i have been more connected to judaism in a cultural and a religious sense. though its not a huge part of my life like judaism is it's definitely still important.

a lot of people like to argue that jews were once not seen as white and now we are, just like Italians, Greeks, Irish, etc were (at least in the USA) and I can confirm that's total bullshit. I have, not once in my life, been treated badly for being Italian. I have never had someone shame me for my appearance, make fun of my cultural food, threaten me, insult me, insult my father, say they wish I died, harassed me, or any other violent or demeaning acts because im Italian. not once in my entire life has that happened. even living in the rural USA where traditional white supremacy is alive and well that did not happen.

yet I have absolutely been harassed, verbally abused, demeaned, belittled, etc. for being jewish. Ive experienced antisemitism since I was 5 and possibly younger. ive heard holocaust jokes, nose/eye jokes, had swastikas drawn on my things, received death threats, gotten rape threats, been called a murderer, been told I should burn, was told I was poisoning the seas, had people deny my very real trauma, was told that I should've stayed dead (for context I overdosed and had to be resuscitated once), and many more things all because im jewish. these are just instances in which it was specifically mentioned or heavily heavily implied that its because im jewish.

Many of these things happened when theae people didn't even know I'm a practicing jew and some even when I stopped practicing for a couple years. a lot of the time the only reason they had to believe I was jewish was my appearance and yeah sure they were right but what it shows is that appearance alone is enough for people to be antisemitic. you know, if jews weren't ethnically discriminated then why do people target us for having things like large noses and curly hair? or for the foods that we eat? or for anything that isnt directly related to religious practices?

anyway I dont believe for a second that anyone who thinks jews dont experience ethnic discrimination in the USA has ever had a genuine conversation with a jew about antisemitism. 5 year old me did not deserve to feel like he was ugly all for some assholes to say that jews are making all this up.

☆this is part 2 in which I will add important context bc if anyone is gonna overanalyze my argument its me. u can read it if you want its not necessary to understand the post.

like I said I have spent most of my life in rural areas where there are many less jews than in big cities and obvious white supremacy is common. im 100% sure this affected a lot of the antisemitism i received.

I am sephardic, not ashkenazi. most goyim do not have a clue what this means. those who do generally think it means "jewish but spicier and more exotic (aka less american)" which could have contributed to some of the discrimination i faced for not being seen as American enough.

this is my experience not anyone else's! I am not discrediting what other people have gone though regarding any experiences with discrimination

[hunterofartemis7]

Pt. 12

Raven: *curled up on the couch taking a nap*

Damian: *outside on a work call*

Jason: *making food*

Steph: *runs into the kitchen* have you seen the news!?!?

Jason: uh no? And Rae’s asleep so can you lower your voice; I don’t need Damian killing us

Steph: sorry, but you need to see the news!

Jason: why?

Steph: apparently some reporter or someone was at the jail last week and heard about Ravens pregnancy and announced it!!

Jason: WHAT!?

Steph: I KNOW!

Raven: *stirring in her sleep*😣

J & S: *covers their mouths and goes to another room*

Jason: do Rae and Damian know?

Steph: no, the reporter just announced it today

Jason: fuck. What the hell do we do?

Steph: I have no idea!!

Dick: why are you two freaking out?

Steph: someone heard about ravens baby and announced it to everyone on the news and social media today!

Dick:….fuck!!!

Jason: what do we do!?

Dick: do Dami and Rae know?

Jason: no!

Dick: than we got to tell them!

Steph: Rae’s gonna be devastated and Damian will be pissed

Dick: true but they gotta know

Jason: I’m not telling them!

Steph: why not?!

Jason: cause I’m not about to make Rae cry…or wake her up, and I’m not pissing off the demon spawn

Steph: I’m not either

Dick: well I already made her upset once, I won’t again

Steph: i say we tell Bruce and he tells th—

Damian: *from outside* WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Dick:……… I have a feeling we won’t need to

Damian: *storms back inside* TODD GIVE ME YOUR GUN! IM GOING TO COMMIT A MURDER!!!

Raven: *gets startled away* what’s going on?

Damian: Gotham is about to have one less reporter that’s what!!

Bruce: *comes into the living room* Damian stop yelling and calm down. What’s going on?

Damian: some fucking reporter just announced that me and raven are expecting a baby on every form of media out there!!

Raven: what!? How!?

Damian: he fucking overheard us at the police station! He made a whole thing about the baby being a bastard and I’m not even going to say what he said about you!

Raven:………..

Jason: if you won’t than I will. *pulls up the article*…okay I’m gonna kill him

Dick: what did he say?

Jason: he called raven a “gold seeking whore, who only got pregnant to trap Damian and get his money.”

Raven: *in tears* that’s not true! I’d never do such a thing especially to the man I love!!😭

Jason: oh we know that, and we’re gonna make sure this bastard knows that as well!

Selina: *heard the conversation* okay anyone else who wants to break the no killing rule meet me in the car in 5 minute!

Damian: gladly!

Bruce: okay everyone chill! We aren’t killing anyone!

Damian: give me one good reason why!?

Bruce: you really think you won’t be immediately arrested for murder!?

Damian: I don’t care!

Bruce: you will when you can’t raise your baby from prison!

Damian: I’ll make sure they don’t find the body!

Jason: same!!

Bruce: okay no!! Here’s what we’re going to do! Damian, you are going to chill and comfort your fiancé now!

Damian: *sees how upset Rae is and immediately drops everything and pulls her into his arms, rubbing her back and trying to calm her down*

Raven: *crying into his chest*

Jason: and the rest of us?

Bruce: we are going to get some ibuprofen and vodka cause it won’t be long till the press is banging on the door, and all our phones are blowing up from social media asking about the baby

Jason: that’s your plan?

Bruce: it is till raven and Damian have calmed down enough to talk about what they want to do next with the information

[m1sa-w1sa]

Glad you are okay and hope you doing good! *Random idea I got from plot in manga. Yandere Kyoko Kirigiri and Chiaki Nanami with crush on darling who need glasses to see, only for a day to not have it due to forgot, destroyed, or taken by bullies. Darling needs help to do daily activity of eat (they might eat dirt) and write down notes. Darling might go very near to their persona space near their chest in order to see their notebook to copy them. Good night!

(This is so cool!! Ty for the request annon!! MIGHT BE A LITTLE OC!!)

A/N: Ok so a little things about requests, i got a dm saying ‘why tf havent you done my genshin request?! Blah blah one I already done it TWO i always do it latest to earliest and i DO have a outside life so please be patient! Thats all! Enjoy~!

Kyoko Kirigiri

•So Im going to start this off as you came to her first asking for help to guide you through the day until you get your glasses back

•She would be on cloud nine, almost letting out a soft smile at the fact quickly accepting the offer to help you through your day, why wouldnt she?! She can protect you and hold your hand 24/7!

•She wouldnt let ANYONE near you, even your friends as she made a excuse about ‘ They were going to tease you about not having your glasses ‘ She made sure that you held her hand all the time even if she wasnt even sitting in her own seat in glass just to help you take notes

•She would feed you herself not minding the stares she might be getting, she likes having you under her wing, her darling just where she wants them

•if your hand travels somewhere else (chest area) she would quickly stop you, telling you what you were about to do, but she doesnt mind, any contact with her darling is alright but she does make sure to guide your hands herself

•If your bullies took your glasses, she would frame them perfectly for a crime that she committed, she killed one of them but made it seem like they all took part, if you broke or lost them she would help you find them at the end of the day, but hiding them for a little longer so you can still be dependent on her

Chiaki Nanami

•Usually Chiaki is pretty sleepy but when you told her you needed help for the day then she was wide awake for this, you accidentally taped her chest thinking that it was her shoulder she understood and held your hand instead aceoting the offer

•She kept you close paying a little more attention in class to help you with notes, but if you usually dont pay attention in class she would still help you but not as much as she would if you did

•She was happy that you were by her side the whole day, staying with her during breaks and playing video games or her guiding your fingers to play was a joy for her

•She would KINNNDDA forget to feed you until you almost ate like hand sanitizer thinking it was your drink, thats when she quickly started to help you with more things

•If your bullies took your glasses she wouldnt really know what to do but not really wanted to do anything either so you can stay with her but she would try to get them back for you

•If you lost or broke them like kyoko she would hide them or hide the pieces so you can stay together for longer

(DONE!!! I hope you enjoyed! Next story coming soon!!)

[justagalwhowrites]

Hi Kit 💜 Im most of the way through a Lavender re-read. They're on the road and Joel’s feelings for Ellie are surfacing. It got me thinking… how would he have reacted arriving to the QZ to find out he had a 5 year old? 💔

Hi Bestie!!

AHHHH A REREAD? OF MY LIL FIC??? Dying 😭 That anyone read it at all let alone wants to re-read it just blows my freaking mind.

OK ON TO YOUR QUESTION!

I'd intended to write a lil fic of this at some point but the more I thought about it the more involved it got and, honestly, I don't want to dedicate that much time to that particular AU. But, because I've thought on it so much, here's some of what I see playing out. It's tucked below the cut (including a Drabble) because it's just so long and there's a scene as well as some bullet points for how I see things going for a while.

I hope you like it!

The Best of Us - Lavender AU

A/N: No real warnings, this is a Drabble. Lil baby Joel and Doc snack for you.

October 6, 2008

You couldn’t put it off any longer. 

You’d shown Joel and Tommy around the whole of the QZ and you’d tried to give Joel space while you did it. You weren’t sure where you really stood with him, what he would want from you. But he’d kept your fingers clutched tight in his grip the whole day, so often pulling you closer so your bodies were aligned and you could feel him beside you, still tall and broad and strong. He was still so substantial, still so… Joel. Still the man you loved more than almost anything else, still the man you’d planned to spend your life with once, still the man who had left you when you begged him to stay. Still the father of your child, something you were still afraid to tell him. 

He was still Joel and, while it felt like he was desperately keeping you close all day, you couldn’t be sure what that meant. It seemed like Joel and Tommy had been on their own for a while. You’d clung to Andrew, too, because he felt safe. You weren’t sure that Joel would want anything to do with you once he got settled in here. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with you before. 

And all that was before the Evie of it all. You hadn’t mentioned your daughter to him. He’d had no idea you were pregnant when the world ended and you had no idea how to bring it up now. Not that you hadn’t thought about it over the years but, for some reason, you’d thought you’d have some notice. You didn’t expect them to just turn up in Boston. You’d expected them to show up in Dallas or Atlanta and you’d hear about it on the radio, coordinate a time to talk to them and see how they were and if they’d even be willing to come to Boston at all. If they weren’t, you weren’t sure you’d even tell Joel about Evie. It seemed like an unnecessary risk because you knew - knew - as soon as you told Joel she existed, he would do everything he could to reach her. She was a child he didn’t plan for, one he didn’t want with you, but one he would do anything for all the same. You would see if they wanted to come to Boston and, if they did, plan to meet them and talk to her in advance so she knew what was going on. 

This had been so sudden. You’d told Evie precious little about her father. She’d asked about him, of course, when she learned that fathers were something children had but she didn’t. You explained that he was far away and that she may never get to meet him but that you knew he loved her very, very much. Because you knew that, if Joel was aware of her, he’d love her with everything he had. That’s who he was. You’d told her how much you loved her father and her big sister, that her father loved to play music and you found some of his favorite CDs at the black market so she could know his favorite songs, that her father used to build things. She didn’t know that he was here. You didn’t know how she would handle that and you didn’t have time to get her ready. 

All you could do now was hope that it went OK for both their sakes. 

“So,” you smiled a little, stopping in front of the apartment you’d helped secure for Joel and Tommy. “This is your place. I’m happy to help you get settled but there should be furniture and some of the basics inside, just whatever was left from people who were there before. FEDRA does a pretty good job of keeping the looting to a minimum in places they’re looking to house people and they check things over before someone moves in.” 

Joel’s grip on you tightened and you took a deep breath, stomach in knots. 

“I was hoping, though, that I might be able to steal Joel for a bit?” You looked between the two men. “Not that it hasn’t been great to see you, Tommy, and I’m so happy you’re here but…” 

“Nah, Kid, I get it,” he gave you one of his signature crooked smiles before clapping Joel on the shoulder. “You two have fun.” 

He got the key out of his pocket and headed up the stairs to his building, and you watched until he went inside. You turned to face Joel and found that he was staring at you, his deep brown eyes tracing over your face again and again. 

“If it’s OK with you,” you said, looking at him. “I’d like to take you to my place? It’s not far and there’s… there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 

“Sure, yeah,” he said, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding yours but then seemingly thinking better of what he was going to do with it. “Whatever you want, that… We can do whatever you want.” 

You smiled tightly and led the way, clinging to his hand. Who knows if he’d want to keep holding it once he found out about Evie so you were going to touch him while you still could. 

“I’m up there,” you said, stopping at the base of the stairs up to your floor. “You… you should know that I don’t expect anything from you.” He looked confused but you pressed on. “It’s whatever you want to do, OK?” 

“Alright,” he said, brows knitted together. “Don’t much know what you’re talkin’ about but…” 

“It’ll make sense in a minute,” you said. “Just… Know that you don’t have to do anything.” 

You led the way up the stairs and dropped his hand before taking a deep breath and unlocking your front door. 

“…that’s against the rules though,” Andrew was saying as you came inside. He was sitting on the floor by your coffee table, a cracked version of Hungry Hungry Hippos sitting on the gouged wood and your daughter kneeling on a pillow across from him, her back to the door. Her dark curls hung to her hips and Andrew must have tied a ribbon in her half ponytail that morning that was now was hanging on for dear life. “You can’t just pick up the marbles, kiddo, that’s cheating.” 

“But they weren’t coming to my side!” She whined. “It’s not fair!” 

“Too bad for you,” he said, meeting your eyes and smiling a little before nodding in your direction. “Look who’s home!” 

She turned so fast that her hair twirled behind her, her eyes - warm and brown and deep, so like her father’s - wide and excited. 

“Mama!” She shot up from the table and rocketed for you and you caught her out of the air, picking her up and popping her on your hip. Her arms went around your neck and she buried herself in your shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, a stern look on her small face. “Mama, you didn’t take me to school today, I missed you!” 

“I missed you too, baby girl,” you said, tugging her closer so you could kiss her cheek. “But I had something very important to do this morning and you like when Uncle Andrew walks you to school.” 

“I like when Uncle Andrew walks me AND you to school,” she corrected you. “It’s best when it’s both.” 

“I agree, it is best when it’s both,” you smiled a little and nuzzled into her, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair and skin. “But there’s someone I want you to meet. Evie, this is… this is my friend, his name is Joel. Joel, this… this is Evie. Short for Evelyn.” 

You looked away from your daughter, still holding her on your hip as you turned to fully face Joel. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wet.

“Evelyn?” He asked softly, still watching her. 

“Evelyn,” you said, taking a deep breath. “Evelyn Miller.” 

“Hi!” She said brightly, starting to squirm in your hold. You set her down and she went to Joel, tilting her head all the way back to look up at him. “My mom doesn’t usually bring friends home, why haven’t I met you before?” 

“He just got here,” you said, coming up behind her and resting your hands on her small shoulders, watching as Joel took her in. His eyes lingered on her eyes and lips and hair. You knew he was finding all the parts of him that existed in her - she had so much of him in her - and that he was coming to grips with it all. “He was outside for a long time.” 

“Outside?” Her nose crinkled and she looked over to you. “But you said it’s dangerous out there.” 

“It is,” you said. “That’s why he came here. I knew him a long time ago, before you were born.” 

“Oh,” she said, turning back to Joel. “So did you come here to find my mom? Where did you come here from? Why didn’t you get here sooner? What…” 

“Why don’t we give Joel a minute,” Andrew said, coming over and taking her little hand. “It’s almost bedtime, yeah? Think there’s a little girl here who needs to start thinking about pajamas…” 

“But!” 

“Just getting changed,” he said. “Then you can say hi to Mommy’s friend again and you can drive him crazy with all the questions instead of just me, c’mon.” 

He scooped her up and mouthed ‘you OK?’ once she couldn’t see. You just nodded and he carried her back to her room. You watched them go before turning to Joel who was just staring at the hall they’d disappeared down. 

“I have a fire escape, out the kitchen window,” you said, nodding to it. “It’s pretty private. We can go there and talk.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, OK.” 

You opened the window and clambered out of it, Joel following behind you. You took a deep breath, looking up at the moon, giving Joel a second to process everything. 

After a moment of silence, he spoke. 

“You have a daughter,” he said it so quietly. 

You nodded slowly. 

“I do,” you said. “She’s four and a half today, she’s very excited about the half. Apparently those six months are vital at this age…” 

“She…” he leaned on the creaking metal of the fire escape, his fingers clenched tight on the railing. “She was born… April then?” 

“April 6th,” you nodded. 

“Which…” he was fumbling for the words. 

You helped him out. 

“We made her my last trip to Texas,” you said quietly. You leaned back against the railing so you were looking at Joel instead of out to the other side of your apartment complex. 

“Jesus,” he breathed, looking back over his shoulder toward your apartment for a moment. 

“I know this is…” you took a deep breath. “It’s a lot. She doesn’t know that you’re her father and she doesn’t need to know. I know this wasn’t the plan before let alone now, especially not since…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say Sarah’s name. Especially not when you’d told Evie so much about her big sister through the years. “I don’t expect anything from you, Joel. You don’t need to be anything for either of us and I promise you I will take care of her. She’s my whole world, I’ll do everything I can to take care of her and she’s doing OK. Great, under the circumstances. There’s a preschool that some of the moms set up, she hangs out at the clinic with me in the evenings, Andrew does so much for her… I think she might like him better than me some days. I’ve taken care of her without you her whole life and I can just… I can keep doing that, it’s OK. You don’t need to do anything but I… I don’t know. I wanted you to know that she existed. That she has your hair and your eyes and sometimes she frowns like you which is so funny to me since she didn’t learn that, she couldn’t have, she just knows it…” 

“You were pregnant,” he said softly. “During the outbreak, when everything… you were pregnant?” 

You nodded, watching him. 

“And you… you were alone,” he said. “You did all that… you made it here alone, when you were pregnant.” 

“Not alone,” you said. “I found Andrew a few days in…” 

“And he was, what, 12?” He asked, voice sharp. You flinched a little. 

“He was 18 then,” you said. “But we took care of each other…” You watched Joel, his grip on the railing tightening. “What are you thinking?” 

“That I fuckin’ left you to do this on your own,” he snapped. “That I’ve been out there while you were here with our fuckin’ kid! I should have been here this whole time, I should have been there, with you then instead of…” 

“Joel,” you said gently, resting your hand in the middle of his back. He was so large next to you, the span of his shoulders so broad. “It’s OK. You didn’t know, it wouldn’t have been any different and she and I… we’re OK. We made it here, she’s got a roof over her head and food to eat and she’s loved, she’s so loved. She’s doing good.” 

He was quiet for a moment but he didn’t pull away from you. 

“Tell me about her,” he said, his voice pained. “What is she like?” 

“She’s very smart,” you smiled. “She reads very well, she started reading on her own about a year ago. She loves games and she’s very invested in things being fair. She loves animals, we look at old National Geographics all the time, she’s obsessed with giraffes at the moment but she’s also completely blown away by the fact that people had pets before. She desperately wishes she could have a dog in the QZ.” 

You looked at Joel, until his eyes met yours. 

“She’s really the very best of us,” you said quietly. “She’s smart and she’s strong and she’s driven and she cares so deeply. When she loves something she just hangs on so tight, she’s so… She’s doing well and it’s OK if you can’t do this. I know it’s not what you wanted and it’s OK if you can’t or just don’t want to, I don’t expect…” 

“I want to be there,” he cut you off. “She’s… she’s my… I need to be there for her. For her and… and for you. If you’ll let me, I don’t want to blow your lives up, baby, but let me be there for you and her, please.” 

There was a knot in your throat that you couldn’t speak around so you just nodded quickly, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. His large hand found your face, cupping your cheek as his other arm wrapped around you, his fingers spreading wide over your lower back to cradle you to him. 

“Please,” he said again, his eyes searching yours.

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him then, the feel of his lips on yours familiar and comforting, even after so many years. He held you close and tight and, for the first time since before the outbreak, you felt the heat of want flare in your stomach, the drive to feel him as close as possible strong. 

“Let’s go find Mama!” Andrew said loudly from inside and you pulled back from Joel, his hands still on you. 

“I don’t want to tell her who you are just yet,” you said quietly. “I want to ease her into it without it being too confusing but… want to come inside? Get to know your daughter?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I do.” 

You smiled and took his hand, leading him back into your life. 

Other moments that stand out to me in this AU

It takes Joel and Doc longer to fully get back together, she's very cautious because Evie is involved. She doesn't want to send her mixed signals or confuse her.

Doc and Andrew lived together for the first two years of Evie's life. Joel very much resents that she had her early childhood years with another man and not him as her father figure.

Andrew was there when Doc gave birth. He held her through it and was one of the first people to ever hold Evie. It was love at first sight for him, she basically became his whole baby in that moment.

Joel and Andrew's relationship is even more tense in this version. Andrew is SO protective of Evie and Joel wants to be the man Evie looks to but that takes time. There is far more direct competition here.

Joel and Doc still split when he finds out the details of the pregnancy (namely that she knew about it well before the outbreak and just didn't tell him.) He still blows up at her and blames her for Sarah's death.

They can't stay apart nearly as long, though, as Joel might leave Doc, he cannot leave his daughter. They have to see each other regularly to play pass the kiddo. This leads to a lot more sex and off/on periods between the two of them over the years.

Doc and Tommy's love affair either a) never happens or b) is VERY short-lived. She's the mother of his niece, the relationship is different even though his feelings are the same.

Tommy is far harder on Joel about Doc in this universe because that's the mother of his whole kid right there. Tommy never had much patience for Joel treating doc poorly to begin with but that patience is even more limited in this reality.

Doc stays fully on the hook for Joel more in this fic because they never really have distance. She never dates Derek because she can't ever move enough past Joel to be with anyone else.

I THINK they'd get back together in this version a lot sooner (I'm thinking post McCarthy? They'd sleep together after and Joel would, at that point, I think understand that this isn't going anywhere in a way he doesn't in the OG version) but it's not easy. Joel is still trauma brain Joel in a state of constant retraumatization. They'd fight a lot. He'd still subconsciously try to distance himself from her. It'd be rough.

He's SO protective of Evie. So so SO protective of her. She pushes back against him a ton in her teens because she desperately wants some for of independence and Joel will not let her have it. She sneaks out a lot. Given what happened to Ellie, it's low key a miracle she's not bitten in the QZ.

I'm not sure Joel would take Ellie in this reality. Since he has someone to live for besides Tommy I don't think he'd be as desperate to go on a suicide mission searching for him. But let's say he does, it would mean either a) also bringing Evie along or b) leaving Evie with Andrew and Jess. It would be ROUGH.

I think they would still have Sylvie in Jackson. I think Doc would have always wanted another baby but neither of them wanted to bring a child into the QZ. Jackson - and the person Joel becomes on the way there - makes that possible. This might be the only version of the story that has both Evie and Sylvie in it.

So yeah! I hope that's some insight into this version of the story.

Thank you for asking, Bestie! Love you!!

[psychesalcove]

BUT IM IN SO DEEP, YOU KNOW IM SUCH A FOOL FOR YOU !

percy jackson x daughter of apollo!reader

requested: yes by, swifthazed (accidentally deleted the ask but i hope you enjoy babes!!)

⚠️: reader not admiting she likes percy, kayla being sick of reader not admiting her feelings, percy being a dork as usual, small mention of will being a protective brother, percy making atrocious ocean jokes, super soft percy twords the end, not proofread AT ALL, percy getting pushed into water

synopsis: percy invites you to spend a evening at camp by the lake with him. and, you definitely do not have any feelings for him. nope, not at all. he just has a really cute smile, thats all.

"he's definitely going to be asking you out," your sibling, kayla mused as the two of you watched percy leave through the doors of the infirmary.

you rolled your eyes at her comment as you turned around and went back over to the cabnit that stored bandaids. "im sure he is kayla," you said sarcastically, grabbing a box of my little pony bandaids. "there's probably gonna be other people there, not just us."

percy had come marching into the infirmary, no doubt scaring the younger camper sitting right by the door. at first, both you and kayla thought that he or someone else got hurt, but when he asked for you to join him at the lake later in the evening, your thoughts were proven wrong.

"oh please, did you not see the way he was blushing and avoiding eye contact with you? and, he didn't say anyone else would be there. he said, and i quote, "would you want to go to the lake with me later today, just to yknow, hangout" kayla repeated the words of percy while doing air quotes.

"i don't even like him like that kayla, and again, no way he's asking me out. he'll probably ask annabeth out if anything." you replied, walking over to the younger camper, who you believed was a child of hermes, and applied the bandaid on a small cut she had gotten doing who knows what.

"im sorry, did you just say you don't even like him? honey, not to break it to you, but if you're talking about him at breakfast, lunch, dinner, in the infirmary, in our cabin, im pretty sure you like him." kayla said in a deadpan tone, crossing her arms and smirking lightly at you.

you rolled your eyes at her once again as you quickly ducked your head down so she didn't see the shade of pink now tinting your cheeks. "you should be all set, and, try not to get hurt again, okay?" you advised the demigod, who gave you a couple of firm nods in response before running out the door.

"i'll tell will to take over your shift this evening, so y'know, you can get a boyfriend," kayla said. she started walking away tword other patients before you could get a chance to object.

ᝰ

percy came to get you later in the evening at the apollo cabin. you saw him through the front window of the cabin, recognizing his silhouette even with the hyacinth flowers overtaking majority of the outside view.

you quickly walked twords the door of the cabin before will could start interrogating percy and embarrassing both percy and you. kayla gave you a quick thumbs up before you headed out the door, mouthing 'go get your boyfriend ' to you.

percy was waiting at the bottom of the short case of stairs when you walked out. his face immediately lit up and he smiled at you. "hope i didn't come to early?" he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the sun setting. "just figured this would be considered evening, because, well, the sun is setting?" he said.

you chuckled lightly at his rambling. "is perfect timing, percy," you walked down the stairs and met him at the bottom.

"well, i guess we should get down to the lake, it's always pretty during sunset time, yknow?" he said as he started to walk in the direction of the lake.

"i do know percy, and so does everyone at camp," you joked, referring to the comment he just made as you started following him. you saw him roll his eyes playfully at you before he changed his pace and started running.

"last one to the lake is a pufferfish!" he yelled behind to you.

ᝰ

"well, running isn't really my specialty," percy said to you out of breath. he, somehow, ended up behind you when running to the lake; even though he had a huge head start to you.

"mhm, sure." you said crossing your arms as you looked at him smugly. "guess you're a pufferfish then," you joked, your face shifting to a more soft look as you saw him smile. he did have a really cute smile.

"guess so," he hummed, his breath finally coming back to him. "wanna head down to the dock?" he said, tilting his head in the direction of it. you smiled and nodded your head, following percy, who had already started walking away.

even though you knew the lake was bueatiful during sunset, you always forgot just how bueatiful it really was. with your shifts in the infirmary, the lessons, and everything else, you sometimes forgot that you could hang out at the lake.

"it's really pretty, isn't it," you mused, looking out to the far ends of the water as you sat down next to percy at the end of the dock. you saw percy nod his head in agreement, but didn't see how his eyes were on you and not the glistening water.

you just then realized how hot it felt being directly in the sun, so you quickly untied your low top converse you had on and put your feet into the water. "ykow you could just,go into the water if you're hot," percy said as he looked at you.

"you also realize that i'm not a son of poseiden who's immune to getting wet, right?" you laughed, looking back at percy who just blushed and starting looking down into the water. from the corner of your eye, you saw percy wipe his hands on his cargo shorts, before moving his hand to be close to yours. not exactly touching, but close to.

you heard percy take a deep breath that he was obviously trying to be quiet about, before you felt a comforting heat over the top of your hand. you moved your head so you could look at percy, and, surprisingly, he wasn't looking into the water,but he was looking at you. percys hand was laying on top of yours, not holding it but just resting there.

"so, uhm.." percy started. you noticed a small shake in his voice, so you nodded your head lightly to show that your full attention was on him. "gods this is going to sound so weird, but, ive been thinking for a while and, while i'm not the best at, well, anything, I think I finally understand what I feel when I'm with you," he countined, smiling softly as the two made eye contact.

"you make me feel like i'm actually important, like, important for who i am. and not what i've done, or what i stand for. i feel like a lot of people only think of me as the kid with a big prophecy and all that. they don't think of me as percy. but, i think you do," percy said, moving his hand that was ontop of yours so that your hands were now interlocked with eachother.

"obviously, that's not the only good thing about you. gods, no. i don't even know if i could list everything i love about you. there's so many things I adore about you. i mean, you help people so much every single day in the infirmary, i see you play guitar at the campfire and I don't think I've ever seen anyone play that well, and during capture the flag you just look amazing in your armor with your bow, not that you don't look good other days, you look amazing every single day, even if I can tell that you're tired or something, you still never fail to be so bueatiful and–" percy stopped his rambling, his eyes quickly moving down to your lips.

he looked back up into your eyes, silently asking if he could kiss you. you, even in your dazed state after hearing what percy said to you, about you, you nodded your head and smiled lightly at him.

the kiss would probably forever be the best kiss you'll ever had. you've never kissed anyone before, unless it was one of your siblings, and on the cheek or head only. but when you and percys lip collied, it did feel like the world stopped right then and there.

it wasn't a forceful or aggressive kiss in any way. it was soft but hesitant at first, both of you testing out the waters with each other. it showed all the love you shared for one another and how both of you had been longing for the other, longer than either of you would like to admit.

you pulled away first, wanting to respond to what percy had said earlier. percy chased for your lips once you moved, but quickly went back to where he was before when his brain caught up with him.

before you could say anything he said, "so, uhm. would you wanna be my girlfriend? i mean, if that's too soon we can always just go on a date first, or something, i really don't care, but ..i assume you feel the same way?" he rambled, once again.

you laughed and shook your head at him. "oh yeah, kissing someone is definitely not saying you feel the same way about someone" you joked, lightly pushing your sholder into his.

"and yes, percy, of course i'll be your girlfriend." you said, smiling fondly at the son of poseiden who you could now call yours.

percy smiled, allowing the biggest grin you had ever seen someone make to be on display. his smile was really cute, now that you think about it. really shouldn't mention that to kayla, you thought, making a mental note in your head for later.

"so, now that we're like boyfriend and girlfriend.." he started, already giggling slightly. you raised an eyebrow, but signaled for him to countine.

"are we on a beach?" he asked, "because i find you sand-sational, " he said, now fully laughing at his own pick-up line he just used on you.

a loud splash filled the summer evening air, along with a loud screech, only some would recognize as percy.

[luvecupid-moved]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ🎃 * COOKIE RUN EDITING CHALLENGE

I wanted 2 make a editing challenge for myself to help with motivation and for fun, not sure if anyone will participate but you're free to, make sure you tag me! Anyway info below nd feel free 2 skip days nd etc ^__^

Day one ★

Favorite common cookie(s)

Day two ☆

Favorite rare cookie(s)

Day three ★

Favorite epic cookie(s)

Day four ☆

Favorite super epic cookie(s)

Day five ★

Favorite legendary cookie(s)

Day six ☆

Favorite ancient cookie(s)

Day seven ★

Your current team

Day eight ☆

Favorite costume(s)

Day nine ★

Strongest cookie(s)

Day ten ☆

Favorite cookie(s) or a free day!! ^__^

[biblically-accurate-dca]

au where moon fills in while sun is "on vacation" and nothing bad happens

[sirazaroff]

Any headcanons or AU style things with Weiss

Hey friend~

Weiss is one of my fav lil goobers, but I realize I haven’t really sat down and thought much about her character. My brain just turns off when I see her it's just 'mm yes is Weiss :)'

Anyways, I gave it a go. If there’s anything specific you’d like to know (shipping/character relationships/her take on canon events) just ask me further. Enjoy my ramblings:

The eyelid of Weiss’ scarred eye is damaged, permanently drooping

She’s the queen of puppy dog eyes

I like to think she takes after Willow a lot. There’s a lot of shared personality, characteristics, even looks between them. She’s a mama’s girl and Willow’s ‘favorite’

Weiss is forever cold, always liking to bundle up in some aspect. If anyone warm is around, you can usually find her snuggled up with them

I'll ship Weiss with a lot of the main gorlies. Big fan of polypiles

I feel like she wears red because of her grandfather, keeping his colors around as a reminder, but eventually she also associates the color with Ruby. Seeing her as a leader and partner to look up to and rely on

She is so easy to read. There is no hiding how she’s feeling

I like to think she hates wearing heels, but damn if she wont continue just to keep the slight height she can afford

She likes to pet Blake and Vel's ears sometimes. Soft, warm, it's chill. (This comes from the anthology manga)

The sexual tensions between her and Coco sets off geiger counters

She will steal other’s clothes, having at least one item from just about everyone she’s on good terms with

There’s a response Miles gave about how her kebob incident with Cinder played a large role in shaping her current personality, and I totally agree with it. Escaping death def changes a person

Expanding on that, I also think Weiss is now rather anxious/paranoid about Cinder the way she keeps being targeted by her. Sudden fire startles her and Weiss refuses to split off on her own if on missions or anything open like that

Weiss eventually surpasses Yang in humor but it's cause of her dry wit, never the puns

Post Atlas, her and Winter are on more equal terms. Her sister's been knocked down the pedestal some in her eyes, but she still holds respect for her all the same. She can just act more casual with her like she does with team rwby

Weiss knows a lot of 'cultured' skills because of her privileged upbringing such as chess, orchestral instruments, dancing, sports like tennis and badminton, even cooking, but the one thing she could never manage was baking and it haunts her cause all she wants to do is make a yummy batch of cookies for Ruby 🍪

Weiss prefers coffee as her hot drink of choice, but she makes attempts to drink Blake's favorite teas so they can bond over that

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

My new favorite genre of humor is people insulting Gabriel’s Pancakes

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

and now, our lovely Exhibit C:

[starry-bi-sky]

honestly your dpxdc clone au gives me life, its adorable as all hell and im a sucker for found family but with that being said, its so freaking hysterical to me that Danny is going full feral liminal menace at Wes any time hes near and Wes himself is still 100% into it the freak (affectionate) and thats not even pointing out the paralles it could possible create since danny and dames gives massive parallels to dick and damian and dick does have a thing for redheads.

yeesSSSSS! I was planning on hoarding this to myself but i can't not reply. and i'll be able to find this again with the clone^2 tag so win WIN. i'm so glad you are as delighted by this as me. It's so hilarious to me that Danny just becomes a complete freak whenever he spots Wes, and I'm the one who wrote it into existence. Like- like i don't know how to explain my vision in words but like, its like Danny sees Wes and immediately goes 'what can I do to make his day worse'. And then he goes and does it.

(honorary read more because i talk a lot)

He's relatively normal around his friends too, which makes him going full-fledged unhinged around Wes even funnier to me. Like, Danny will spout weird shit sometimes to Sam and Tucker, but usually its prefaced with him talking about patrol or there would be context before he said anything. With Wes? Though?? he will just. say anything, completely unprompted. Slings an arm around his shoulder like they've been buddies since primary school and then spits out a weird new fun fact he learned about the bodily anatomy while researching his latest cold case. All vaguely-threatening but utterly insane things to say as way to start a conversation.

And sometimes its not even that, he'll walk up to Wes and ask him if he saw the latest daytime fight between Phantom and Skulker. And then he'll say "yeah i missed it myself but I saw clips of it being posted online" and then watch Wes mentally explode him with his mind. or he'll disparage Phantom for having such a young partner with him, "Can you believe he'd let a kid fight ghosts with him? I'd never let my brother ghosthunt with me if I was Phantom."

All of this with such a deceptive look on his face but the most delighted, shit-eating gleam in his eyes. Wes is chewing glass and he wants to yell that he does let his brother fight ghosts with him. Also you told him yourself that nothing would've stopped your demonic (Wes' words) little brother from joining you.

Damian gets in on the fuckery occasionally, but since he's not around often with Wes about, it doesn't happen nearly as often as it does between Wes and Danny. Sam and Tucker know he's screwing with him too, and both of them are a little wary about him being careless with his secret id. But he's been doing this since he was 14-ish and it hasn't backfired yet. So. They're not actively stopping him.

Danny walks back to his lunch table after terrorizing Wes and Tucker just asks him what he said, because Wes was about as red as a tomato when he walked away. Danny offhandedly sighs and innocently says he tried to have a conversation about Phantom with him. Wes didn't seem to like it all that much. Weird.

And yes, yes. Wes is totally into it and is slightly enraged about this fact, because not even he knows why he's into it. The freak (affectionate). Danny gives him this troublemaker smirk, and i did say smirk, and Wes doesn't know whether or not if he wants to smack him or kiss him. Or both. Like, yeah, pine, white boy, pine.

(And this is a dramatized image but I'm also highly entertained by the idea that Wes keeps getting routine dirty looks from various peers because they, too, have a crush on Fenton. Except Fenton doesn't talk to anyone else unless its his friends and sometimes Valerie, and Weston, the guy who keeps accusing him of being the local vigilante, is somehow routinely having conversations with him?? And BLOWING IT?? Like everyone else thinks he's fumbling so bad, and yet fenton keeps tALKING to him.)

And yes!! i'm always so pleased whenever someone brings up the parallels D+D have to Dick and Damian, because that was lowkey my intention when I was making the solo clone damian au. Although it was supposed to be more implied since I don't really know much about Damian and Dick other than they're very close and Dick was Damian's Batman for a year. And then of course the very smaller parallel (??) 'what if' between Bruce and Damian and D+D in clone^2 considering who they are both clones of.

And man this just makes me want to talk about when batfam meet D+D because I just want them to see D+D be so brotherly towards each other. Like I want them to see Bby Dames wearing his goofy fun fact shirts and stealing Danny's hoodies/flannels/etc and blatantly lying about it when Danny asks. Only for Danny to then throw him over his shoulder like Tadashi from BH3 and jump around.

And also. I do not know what Damian Wayne's (DW as I'll call him) stance on being called "Dami" is - the general consensus I've seen is that its usually used as a playful nickname in order to get a rise out of him, and he doesn't really like it.

But baby Dames being called that freely, and often, and its sometimes used to get a rise out of him but thats typically what nicknames do. Its used as easily as his full name is with the same amount of affection. And its like his main go-to nickname. "Dami" and "Dames" with the occasional "Bud/Buddy", "Squirt", "Little man", etc. Not once is he ever called 'demon-spawn'

(which i know is a fanon nickname but its a relatively popular nickname)

but yeah, uhhh. i think thats all of my thoughts on the matter. for now lmAO

[moeblob]

Demyx (my beloved)

[ocpdzim]

what you’ve got to understand about working conditions in education (and also other care-oriented careers) is that if they’re shit, two things are true at once:

that does not ever excuse being cruel to a kid, no matter what

until those conditions are fixed, education will continue to suck absolute shit

this is because when working conditions for teachers are really bad, many of the good teachers who recognize when they are reaching a point where they can no longer be the sort of teacher the kids deserve due to burnout WILL quit. they will do the responsible thing and go away for their own sake and the sake of the kids. and you end up stuck w a combination of new teachers who are trying their best but won’t last long, burnt out teachers who are trying their best but have nothing left to give and therefore aren’t very effective at actually teaching, and cockroach shitheads who take out their misery on the kids.

we have all had terrible experiences with bad teachers, many of them flat out traumatic, but for fuck’s sake please try to look at the systemic underpinnings of the problem for one minute. spitefully declaring that teachers don’t deserve good working conditions or even the right to complain about bad working conditions because ms. whoever in 5th grade was a bitch is only going to create more of her. if you want good teachers then we need an education system they can survive in

[dandp]

After many rewatches I truly cannot tell if this is what's happening or not but there is such an odd, brief zoom in to Dan after the hung like a horse card where he kind of looks like he's looking over at Phil's lap and it's haunting me.