#im not gonna regret what i posted 5 years ago

[judebelle]

been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)

sneaky - j.f. x reader

a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..

pairing : joao felix x fem!reader

word count : 2.3k

summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.

cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry

---

you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.

the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.

hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.

you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.

very close to a certain mr felix.

the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.

it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).

from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.

joaofelix79 : u got home safe?

ynsusername : ofc i did

ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me

joaofelix79 : that's good.

you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.

you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.

eventually, you two started hanging out alone.

not anything crazy, of course.

joaofelix79 : hey

joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place

joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat

how could you refuse that?

it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.

"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.

"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.

"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.

from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.

eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.

12:03 am - joao : wyd

12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol

12:04 am - joao : dont bother

12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place

12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats

of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.

and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.

"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.

"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.

"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.

you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.

that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.

his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.

you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.

you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.

but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.

---

"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"

the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.

across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.

one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-

"isn't that right, y/n?"

alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.

"hmm? sorry?"

"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.

"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.

you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.

"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.

the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.

he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.

joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.

it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.

you sent him a quick wink.

he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.

you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.

---

you couldn't take it anymore.

something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.

it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.

finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".

shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.

he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.

"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".

you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.

"nice dress.."

"just take it off."

---

you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.

joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.

it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.

your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.

"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.

you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.

you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.

he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.

"joao, we dont have time for this-"

"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.

"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"

he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.

"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)

you nodded and bit your lip.

he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.

"are you ready for me?" he teased.

"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.

joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"move for me, bebé."

you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.

he shuddered at the feeling.

you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.

"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.

after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.

he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.

your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.

"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.

"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.

his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.

joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.

you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.

"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"

[familyagrestefanblog]

They actually did it

Fucking christ I was RIGHT! They even went so far as wiping out Adrien's memory!

We're back with Chat Blanc.

That's what made Chat Blanc such a unreliable narrator, I made a post about that YEARS ago that Blanc eventually wiped out his own memories with only his love for Marinette left in all that horror while Hawkmoth having been the monster who got him. That's why he incorrectly blamed their love for having ended the world, that was all he could remember as we even saw once he detransformed!

I do not have time to write about this today but this is the worst possible outcome! We are absolutely FUCKED! "Representation" was already a combination of "Chat Blanc" and "Ephemeral" because they were never avoided in the first place and now for the rest of the finale every bad consequences we just sidelined for seasons on end! "Chat Blanc", "Kuro Neko", "Ephemeral", the entire season 4 finale!

How DENSE do you have to be to think that Gabriel Agreste gave Marinette his BLESSING?? She literally told him right in his face that "fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd" she will let Adrien as an orphan pay for all his family's sins right after the man had a whole mental breakdown of 5 seasons of build-up because he was THIS aware of incompetent and horrible of a father he was!

He was WILLING to give her his blessing and Marinette fucked it up in every way possible! What the hell does Gabriel give a shit about the greater good?? The only thing he cares about is himself, his wife, Adrien and Nathalie! Marinette told Gabriel that everything he loves, is, was, worked for and wished to safe can go and fuck itself because for the greater good she decided that HIS SON is now going to go through every hell that's waiting for him and she didn't even care to ask what that hell will BE!

She just signed Adrien up for it and expected Gabriel to be okidoki with that?

Gabriel Agreste made the wish. It doesn't matter what excuse Marinette has, all that matters is what GABRIEL thinks. And for him she is the enemy of everything he loves and regrets having failed this horribly! What makes you think Gabriel Agreste gives a SHIT about anything else?

Why are you trusting this man?? Gabriel's love is and has always been the worst thing in Adrien's entire life!

What do you think is gonna happen now?? Gabriel made himself a martyr and wiped Adrien's memory of having been horrible while simultaneously the cover story is that Gabriel Agreste died heroically defeating Monarque by Ladybug's side because Chat Noir wasn't there and his son Adrien was kidnapped!

Adrien is gonna fucking blame himself for his father’s death! He thinks he failed his father! Adrien was created out of Emilie's love for Gabriel, Gabriel is counting on Adrien being the only person who would want to bring him BACK! We were RIGHT reading it like that in "Passion"!

Gabriel KNOWS that he can't force either Adrien himself, Marinette, Nathalie or anyone to break apart but if he takes Adrien's memories while everyone remembers how shitty of a father he was to him than Adrien will want to distance himself from them by his own CHOICE!

What the fuck is Marinette gonna do when Adrien now obviously want to go back into his fathers business because he can't remember why he left in the first place and now he wants to make it up to his dead father by stepping into his role and continuing his legacy! You think Marinette crying a bit and saying "I don't want you to work as your father's successor, you don't have to be like him!" is gonna do it??

Adrien is gonna CHOOSE to go back because from his perspective what he's doing is good no matter if his father wasn't perfect and she's just really not being understanding and unsupportive. Telling him to choose himself "but not like that!"

Fuck, im short on time, but I will scream and shout about this forever! What are you guys WATCHING that this is good? Marinette turned into an easy two-for-one kill without Chat Noir, she NEEDED him and now she lost!

Adrien/Chat Noir was NEVER saved and now his insane father GOT him! The new universe started with Adrien waking up, NOTHING before that happened no matter what other people including Marinette herself think they remember! It never happened! The universe started with Adrien and Marinette kissing him awake because Gabriel WANTS her to think taht he gave her blessing or at least what he did wasnt so bad and for good intentions so she doesn't try undoing it before it's too late!

Can you stop being so naive? Why are you trusting and insane and abusive villain father who HATES you to do you JOB?

[lokilysolbitch]

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

[nelyastudies]

weekend comes! (and opinions™)

this weekend is a very very special weekend, because this is the only free weekend i have in 5 weeks! i usually in the ER at saturday night but this weekend i am at my room, watching romcoms and music shows and eating sweet stuff and impulse-shopping because i'm stressed

music

chrisye live is a concert that celebrates the life and art of chrisye, a beloved pop star of indonesia that pass away at 2007. the concert was held by erwin gutawa, who arranges a lot of chrisye's works, notably the album "badai pasti berlalu" which is my aaaaaaaaaaalll time fave. chrisye pass away before erwin could compose a song for him (most of the time erwin arranges and eros djarot composes), so there is a lot of regret on his part. the concert itself augmented chrisye's previous concert voice stream with new music arrangement by a live band on the stage. the crowd sang along happily, it's a festive event. i don't know where i'm going with this... but i think grief for another human being is almost always run above a stronger undercurrent of love, and when there is love, there is joy. i wish someone would do this for jonghyun, too.

BEFORE HE'S THE MEDIA'S POSTER BOY FOR DEPRESSION, he's THE poster boy for artistic excellence and vocal prowess. i think this one performance showcased it best. jonghyun's not dancing, he's just standing on his feet and singing and it was crazyyyyyyy. this one also has his best falsetto moments. i'm so thankful we have this performance. i'm sorry i really talk a lot about jonghyun's work. it's just that i feel like i know him, and the jonghyun i know would hate to be remembered for his lowest moment rather than his best. if i was gone, i would want all of you to remember me at my brightest, too. so i will continue to post jonghyun's performances here, all that i like best. i hope you guys can watch if you have time to kill, because he is an outstanding vocalist.

thanks to @zzzzzestforlife seventeen posts, i finally checked out hoshi's spider after 2 (?) years of intending to listen to it. i love taemin's work and people had recommended me many young artists that is cited to be his sons and only now did i get to sit and actually watch. it's awesome... the choreo is so satisfying. so this is what the kids are doing these days (*is younger than the artist himself*). the song and concept itself is a FAVORITE of mine, subdued at times and heavy with symbolism. it is in the same vein as taemin's waiting for and impressionable, which are both my faves (zesty u gotta listen to those!!) (his voice really holds nothing back, for real, so it really depends on how old you are...) def gonna wait for hoshi's solo album!

movies

roman holiday (1953), top row. im such a SUCKER for romcoms with good people in it. so princess ann, played by audrey hepburn, sneaks out for a night while on sleep medication and end up having a whole day out pretending to be common people. she's followed by a starving, broke journalist who pretends to befriend her so he can write gossip piece about the princess. they fall in love! and its painful! it's awful! i cried at the ending. it's my favorite romance movie ever, i think. will be rewatching this until i die. audrey is so cute and the haircut scene is so good it made me cut my waist length hair to recreate it, haha. no regrets!

sabrina (1954), bottom row. audrey again. she's a chauffeur's daughter who fall in love with the son of the master of the house. i already talked a lot and i have to do my ward report, so i will just say: the pics in the bottom row wasnt the ending! it was the beginning actually. there are complications. and stuff. it's very funny.

others

did laundry!

pick up my carpet from dry cleaning i forgot to pick 2 months ago (rare ayn w)

deep cleaned my room

bought salmon-pink lipstick, revlon's pink in the afternoon, which is rumored to be the shade audrey was wearing in "breakfast at tiffany's"! it's such a lovely shade and it looks very cute on me (it does look different on screen but more similar irl)

ate cheesecake (belgian choco flavoured ^^)

actually did my skincare

[a-dustlandfairytale]

People don't talk enough about how grief feels like a freight train running through your chest. There is no definitive conclusion on when it will end nor fade. Some days you feel kinda normal and you wonder why your friends treat you like glass. Other days you feel like even a pin drop could cause you to break down. This post is very personal so don't read ahead if you don't feel up to it.

I was reading texts that were from my dad, whom I lost 2 years ago, and I've been crying. It feels like needles of torture, but somehow worse than that would be to forget and ignore, because it feels like that's what everyone is already doing. It feels like my lungs fill up with fluid and I wanna cry out with animalistic wails as I grieve. Boy do I grieve. Grief is used too sparingly for a word that takes a bite out of your world.

My dad died when I was 19 (going on 20) I'm the most painful way possible for me. He had been sick on and off for months. He promised he would go to the doctor if he wasn't feeling well. He didn't and I ended up finding him dead. I had to tell my family he died. When I found him I didn't even know, I couldn't tell. He looked peaceful, like he was sleeping, but he was on the floor. I called my mom to come up from the car as they were divorced. Not long later she told me to look away and thats when I knew. I don't even remember what the cops asked me when they arrived. I just kept looking to where my mom covered him in a blanket. I couldn't breathe. I still don't think I can breathe sometimes.

5 months later my oldest brother died. His mom and stepfather had always been alcoholics and always peer pressured him into drinking. My dad definitely didn't love it but it was hard to beat a guy who was literally a multimillionaire. My brother became an alcoholic as he grew up. He always thought he could just have a drink on the weekends after he got out of rehab. A month after my dad died he almost died from liver failure and didn't tell us. He just told me he was in the hospital. So he kept getting mad as I nagged him. I was so worried. Foe good reason as I would soon find out. His doctor gave him maybe 5 years to live if he stopped drinking. Maybe a year otherwise. He told us on canada day. I held his hand as he died in the hospital barely 2 weeks later during covid restrictions, which meant only 2 people could be there. Only me and his girlfriend were there. His mom was too scared to see him die. His body was so thin and his hands so swollen. They couldn't give him anymore blood cause he kept bleeding out. He actually died with a liquor bottle in his arms. While i didnt love it, it was his last wish, it was the last thing i could help do for him. Before I met my brothers mom and stepdad, I never knew I could truly hate someone. Her and her husband are people I truly hate and will never forgive. Their daughter died this year from an overdose 2 days after I saw her. They only have 1 kid now.

I've never been able to find a therapist that works for me. Like there have been some okay ones but when it comes down to it, it seems that according to them veryone and clearly it hasn't been working for me. Since all this happened it's not unlike chidis reference to the ocean, thats how my grief feels and I want it to just go back to the ocean, but at the same time, much like Eleanor, im so scared I'm gonna somehow lose along the way. It's been 2 years.

I'm 22. I wanna be normal. I want my dad and brother here so badly. I wish I had been by my dads side earlier and helped him. I have so many regrets but I feel like I can't let them go.

Anyways back to our regular scheduled programming.

[rotessaboggs]

I posted 1,060 times in 2022

That's 1,025 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (2%)

1,039 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mlchaelwheeler

@andiwriteordie

@willel

@queerxqueen

@new-ronantics

I tagged 54 of my posts in 2022

#byler - 27 posts

#will byers - 16 posts

#stranger things - 15 posts

#theories - 6 posts

#analysis - 5 posts

#sorry this turns into a rant - 1 post

#y'all making me emotional - 1 post

#share this again - 1 post

#im crying rn - 1 post

#south-east asian - 1 post

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#but like i can't imagine how they are gonna defeat vecna in any other ways except for taking what he preys on and uses it against him

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm so disappointed to the point that I can't feel anything but empty right now. Will, you don't deserve this treatment.

20 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

79k!!! I remember when I first started to follow the tag, it was like 20k something or even less. And now we are 21k away from 100k??? Oh man that's crazy to think about.

22 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#3

No matter what is gonna happen in vol 2, I just wanna say that I had a time of my life reading all the theories and analysis of you guys. Some people may say “it’s not that deep” but to me, what makes a work of fiction have a lasting impact is the fact that we can dive deep into the story, decipher the smaller details and see how it contributes to the larger picture. Arts continue to live on because we, as the audience, never cease to analyze and interpret it with different angles and layers.

In the months leading up to the release of reputation back in 2017, I read tons of amazing theories. Although many of them ended up not being accurate but looking back, I never regretted being invested in them because they gave me the thrills that only a well-done work of art can do: that there is always something more to what we see on the surface.

I’m not sure if what I’m saying makes sense or not because I’m so stressed out right now and English is not my native language. So in short, thank you so much for all the theories, analysis, and memes that you guys have posted in the last month. I will remember June 2022 for the rest of my life <3

37 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

How realistic should a work of fiction be? ~aka this is me rambling~

Warning: This is going to be more like me getting all of my messy thoughts out of my head than a coherent in-depth analysis. So read it at your own expense lol. Still, I would really love to read you guys’ thoughts and opinions on this topic. This is something I have been pondering upon for quite some time but I didn’t have the urge to write it down until I saw people on Twitter “arguing” over what a therapist said about Mike.

Also, English is not my native language so sorry in advance for any spelling/ grammatical mistakes or ambiguous/ confusing word choices. I won’t mind if you guys point it out for me.

First of all, let me start off with some chit-chats (you guys can skip it if you like). I have no intention of “forcing” my opinions on others so I want to make it clear how I am like which can affect my viewpoint intrinsically.

A few years ago, I generally didn’t care much about films or TV shows, to be honest. I did watch movie analysis for fun but I have always been a book lover and I tend to gravitate towards classic literature because they usually make heavier impacts on me (I may use some examples of classic lit later on). I usually opt for classic lit because I feel more certain that it has the thing I love - a character-driven narrative in which we get to dive deep into a character’s inner self, explore all their turmoils in exquisite detail, and observe a natural progression in their thoughts and feelings. 

It was in late 2017 or early 2018 that I watched a video explaining the first two seasons of Stranger Things that I got interested in the show. It was specifically Noah’s acting and Will’s possession arc in season 2 that made me become a fan, not gonna lie. I was super excited to watch season 3 right when it came out. And … It made me so disappointed that I felt weirdly left out when other people all seemed to enjoy it. I thought maybe it was just me and I didn’t think of the show at all during the three-year period between season 3 and 4. I clearly didn’t know that Will is gay or pay any attention to the underlying problem in mlvn’s relationship. That kinda qualifies me as one of the general audience, right? Volume 1 blew me away and made me hooked on this show again. And then I came across posts and analyses about Will and Mike (in season 4 and other seasons) and I was even more blown away by all the subtexts and parallels (you guys are AMAZING!). In one way or another, I support byler because if it is really the direction the show is heading towards, it proves that the piece of entertainment I am consuming at the moment has so much depth, breadth, and width. And that has always been the thing that gives me an amazing sensation of blissfulness and satisfaction when I enjoy art. It makes me feel like a diver making her way down the mysterious depth of the ocean, being fascinated by all the questions and wonders.

Thank you for getting through that. Let me get to the main question now. 

How realistic should a work of fiction be?

I have seen a lot of people say things like “Stranger Things is a show about a girl who throws off a car with her mind and alternate dimensions with monsters but gay characters in the 80s is where you draw the line, really?” Although I agree with the overall sentiment here, there is always something irking in the back of my mind about this argument, about when things should be realistic and when the writers can just do anything they want.

In this case, I won’t bring all the supernatural things into this discussion because I think the matter is not whether things are realistic or not, it’s more about whether all the supernatural elements really align with each other in the grand scheme of things, whether later discoveries explain or disrupt the set of established rules and norms (which can be absurdly unrealistic) we have from earlier seasons. Although there have been quite a few inconsistencies, especially in regard to the Upside Down as people pointed out, there is still the last season 5 in which more will be explained so yeah … let’s wait and see how it will pan out.

What I do care though is the characters, their personal developments, and the dynamics they have with each other.

Back to the therapist I mentioned earlier, I don’t know exactly what she said but as far as I hear from other people, she explained Mike’s behaviors in a way that is favorable to mvln so undoubtedly, mlvn shippers use it as their proof. Meanwhile, they are pretty much against an analysis of a person with film degrees and experience in media literacy. On the side of byler, there is an opposite response: more in favor of the latter, of course.

In my opinion, this is pretty much a gray area. On the one hand, I can see why people cling to the analysis of the therapist because characters are humans and their behaviors and thought process can be explained through the lens of psychology just as normal human beings. On the other hand, they are also fictional entities who play a part in a story, directly engage the audience into a narrative, and are the means through which the emotional impacts are created. Rather than seeing this in a black-and-white manner like “it’s not realistic to do this or that” or “oh come on it’s fiction,” I would say the boundary between the realistic and creative aspects is pretty blurry, especially when people are just talking generally about the show without specifically focusing on a character, relationship, or plotline.

A basic opinion that I first had about this is that: the journey that a character goes through should make sense and make the audience feel like it’s relatable  to a certain extent (or at least understandable). But to adhere strictly to reality for the sake of being realistic isn’t it. That personal journey, with its progression, climax, resolution, and aftermath, has to serve a purpose, or in another word, it has to be purposeful and consequential. 

People argue that Will being gay, in love with Mike and potentially having his feeling reciprocated + having a happy ending isn’t realistic because it’s the 1980s - a really homophobic period. They believe that it would be more realistic and accurate for Will to be rejected or something along the line. But if it is the path his arc is heading towards, then I wonder for what purpose then?

(This thought came after I finished this whole writing so I don’t know where to put it except here. Consider it an irrelevant note if you like) So … When I think of the word “realistic” when talking about fiction, I recall a quote that one of my professors mentioned in our class: “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” I question if it can be applied in this case. Although the 1980s was not a great period of time for gay people, was there anyone who actually got to have a happy ending? If those people exist, is it “unrealistic” for us to tell their stories instead of the conventional one - the one with no joy and happy ending at all? OK maybe that’s not what realistic actually means and maybe I’m way off base.

To be as close as the reality of the time is an obvious answer that some people may cling to but is it enough to be the drive of the arc of a main character?

I am currently reading “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall'' by Anne Bronte and I am pleasantly surprised by how progressive the book’s ideology is considering that at the time it was published, women were devoid of any independence of their own and viewed as the properties of their husbands. To see a woman of that time (not only the heroine of the book but also the very author) deliberately going against that mindset is empowering indeed. The things happening in the book aren't necessarily “realistic” but sometimes we have to defy reality to get a message across and to create an emotional impact. Particularly when it comes to a progressive ideology like feminism or LGBT+ rights, by defying the reality, the writers are able to create a work that continues to be impactful decades or centuries later on. Or on a much more personal scale, we may say it’s a way of self-fulfillment for the authors who didn’t get a chance to live a better life (like Jane Austen with all of her books). Either way, there is a purpose.

On the other hand, there are also authors who don’t defy the rules and norms of the time and try to make their stories realistic. I always think about “Tess of the d’Urbervilles'' by Thomas Hardy in regard to this because that book hurts me like hell with its pessimistic progression and devastating ending. Spoiler alert, the main protagonist of the book doesn’t get a chance to escape the bleak reality of her life and the love story in the book doesn’t have a happy ending at all. Upsetting as it is, it makes sense when we learn more about Thomas Hardy. He is a person who is known for “his stoical pessimism and his sense of the inevitable tragedy of life.” Although one of his most popular books “Far from the madding crowd” has a happy ending, there are still a whole lot of pessimistic things and tragedies that plague nearly all the portions of the book. Also, sticking to a realistic portrayal of the society and having the characters suffer immensely can be a way of social critique, having the general audience confronted with unfairness and cruelty of this world, to encourage them to actually think about justice and equality instead of being indifferent towards those matters.

Now, based on what we know of the Duffer brothers (there are other writers as well, but overall, they created the whole thing in the first place so let’s just narrow it down to them), which side would you think they gravitate towards? 

Depressing as the show can get sometimes, it still offers us a message of hope and optimism, as well as emphasizing the power of self-esteem, friendship, and love. As someone who has always felt like an outcast, a second thought, and someone who tried to seek validation from other people to feel worthy in high school, I find the show relatable and inspiring, and I believe that it’s the effect the show creators want to bring about.

If Will’s feeling for Mike is not reciprocated and he somehow ends up sacrificing not only his heart but also himself in season 5, what message and effect do you think that would bring? Not just in the LGBT+ community but also people who find themselves resonate with Will in any certain ways.

Counter arguments

One may argue that well, if you want Mike and El to break up, it would still suck because she has suffered a lot and deserves love and happiness. Now I would support this if it were not for the things happening in episode 9 and her overall character arc. To be honest, I didn’t really care about El in earlier seasons because I tend to just hyper-fixate on one character at a time. But there are aspects of her arc this season that I find particularly relatable and touching. It’s her need to feel accepted, validated, and loved. 

At the beginning of the season, the foundation upon which she depends her self-esteem comes from the outside, which as we have all seen, causes even a lot more trouble to her mental health. All the bullies and harassment and then the lack of love received from Mike - all contribute to pushing her closer to the edge. At first, her coping mechanism is shrugging it off, putting it aside and pretending that all is good. It really doesn’t help that she can’t be honest with Mike about her struggles although hypothetically, they should be able to be so if their relationship is healthy and advantageous to both sides. I think all the lies are pretty much rooted in insecurity as she is an original person now without any superpower. She has been trying to find herself for several seasons but this is the first time there is no “superpower” - the main thing that many people see when they see El: a thing that they may depend upon in dire circumstances, or at worst weaponize for their own benefit. Her being left without it makes the issue of finding herself even more pressing because it seems now to her that she is no longer as helpful as before.

Despite the facade of happiness, all the distress is still there, waiting to surge up, breaking the dam when the time comes. That time being at the Rink-O-Mania. After that, we finally get the chance to see her true thoughts and feelings. We see that under the facade of happiness, those demeaning labels and names have really caught up to her and affected the way she defines her self-worth. It doesn’t just stop at “I’m different. I don’t fit in.” She literally sees herself in the worst light possible - a monster - something that brings destruction and death.

So the main character arc of El for the rest of the season (and I believe it will continue in season 5) revolves a lot around her defining her very self-worth (she alone knows herself best, not anyone around her; not Hopper, not Mike, her), making her own decisions despite the biggest authority figure in her life - Papa - saying “NO,” and most importantly, accepting herself (and her abilities) for what things are. If need be, she is going to use them in a violent way, like fighting against Vecna or the military, or use it to save Max - her dearest friend. When I first watched episode 9, I was a bit annoyed by the fact that they have El revive Max in such a way because it feels like they want to avoid a main character’s death. But when I ponder upon it a bit more, I see it as a beautiful contradiction with how her power has been used continuously in every season - something that causes damage and death vs. something that can revive life. There is no clear-cut definition like the monster or the superhero because these words imply certain qualities that completely contradict each other and cannot co-exist in one entity, that entity being El. She is Eleven and she is more complex than what those labels can ever describe.

Now this is exactly where I have issues with Mike’s monologue. Because he keeps going on and on about her power (a lot of which isn’t even accurate) and calls her a superhero. Many people have talked about this but let me put it down here just to make things clear: Mike is holding El back from her personal development. She cannot open up to Mike about her life in California, suppressing her negative feelings and thoughts all the way, because he has always looked up to her for her abilities and she can’t bear his pity if he knows the truth. She feels unloved because Mike cannot write the word “love” to her but once again she tries to put that aside. Mike’s words after she hits Angela triggers her traumatic experience at the lab - the one which makes her feel like a monster. And then when she finally gets to see that there is no such thing as a monster or hero, she being way more complicated than what others dictate her to be, Mike once again brings back the word “superhero.”

OK I didn’t intend to write that much about El, which is a bit funny considering that my favorite character is Will. I am feeling like I am driving at night without any headlight so let me end this part with a question: If she continues her relationship with Mike in season 5 without both resolving all the underlying problems in their relationship, it being the fact that they cannot really be themselves around each other and therefore, hindering their own personal development due to each being the main source of validation for the other, what purpose would it serve? What emotional impact and message can that bring about at the end of the day? What is potentially the climax of resolution of all these underlying issues that have lain around for seasons?

The psychological (realistic) and narrative (fictional) aspect of a character’s personal arc is so intricately interwoven to each other that to me, to erase one side from the argument (to completely cling to the analysis of a therapist) portrays a black-and-white way of looking at the show. I still love listening to character analysis of people who have knowledge of psychology though, because I love psychology a lot but I’m not going to forget that I’m watching a show in which everything has a sense of purpose and has to fit into a narrative. At the moment, we still have a whole season left and none of the characters have completed their arc yet, not to mention we are kept in the dark about some of the character’s actual thoughts and feelings and the only thing we can do now is deducing from what we see or hear from the show and other related sources of hint.

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42 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

PREACH!!!! OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

70 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

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[gardenerian]

hello hi i binged your other 5+1s the other day when i saw them on ao3 and im once again reminded how much i absolutely love love love your writing 😊 for a prompt if u don't mind something of the gallaghers + kev and v reuniting with mickey s10? how do they react to seeing him again after so long? i was always sad that through canon we never got any sort of welcome back mickey party reaction type thingie u know? thank u and take care <3

oh wow oh jeez oh goodness! i am posting this very late! but thank you so very much. i loved writing this prompt and i hope you enjoy reading it 🥰 you can also find it here on ao3.

1.

Ian’s gone before Lip can process the fact that there was just a fucking gun in his face, pointed at him by some wild-eyed bitch while his son cried just across the room.

He holds Fred against his chest, bouncing him as his cries peter out. A hoard of Carl’s squatters poke their heads around kitchen appliances.

Mickey Milkovich is standing in the entryway.

And he looks much the same as he did the last time Lip saw him: tense, bruised, crawling out of his skin with fear. It’s a fear Lip knows intimately. It prickles at the base of his skull even now. This icy fear over Ian, pulled off in a direction they can’t follow.

Lip hasn’t been to Ian’s rescue in a long time.

For years, one brother carried the other - often kicking and screaming - headlong into the next phase of life. It was Lip’s natural impulse to look out for Ian, never truly breathing easily until he had eyes on him. Until he felt him, warm and solid beneath his hands.

It was one of the few things in his life that Lip never came to resent. Unlike his parents, his genes, his own fucking intelligence - holding onto Ian felt more like a privilege.

And for a while there, Ian shouldered the weight of the two of them as they drifted through the world. Lip grew used to Ian’s steadiness, the surety with which he carried himself.

But by the time Lip righted himself, by the time his awareness extended beyond his own fucking misery, Ian had spun off again. And they’d all missed it.

Lip shed hot, bitter tears after they dropped Ian off at the prison gate. He sat in the back of Kev’s truck, crying into Debbie’s hair where she sat halfway in his lap. He’ll be okay, she’d murmured. He’s gonna be okay.

That familiar rigidity of Ian’s spine as he walked into the prison - fucking prison - haunted Lip for days after. He’d seen it in Fiona, in his mother. He felt the ghost of it in his own bones. That stiffness keeping him upright; as if any slip would send him careening to the ground, buckled under the weight of all his fucking agony.

Lip wondered, in those days before Ian was able to call, how long it took him to fall apart once inside those walls.

But then he called.

He called, and Lip was blindsided by the peace in Ian’s voice. How at ease he sounded, how he laughed when Lip asked how he was doing.

You’ll never believe who’s here, he’d said.

The thing is, though - Lip did believe it. As soon as Ian announced that Mickey Milkovich was his cellmate, it felt like a puzzle piece pressing into place. Some kind of logic equation, lit up in neon: Ian’s in trouble, Mickey is there.

And Lip felt that cold prickle of fear settle for a while. It never really abated, not until Ian walked into his arms just a few days ago. But it allowed him to focus on his family, on the son he didn’t then know was coming.

Lip holds him now and watches as Mickey moves away from the front door, looking a little lost.

They greet each other quietly, nodding like they saw each other only yesterday. As if that common denominator of Ian could brush away years of hurt and loss and regret.

And, honestly, of course it could. It does, really. That’s what the love of Ian Gallagher can do.

Lip sits down, cradling a sleeping Fred to his chest. Mickey stands by the stairs, peering at them curiously. How strange it must be for him, coming back to this house to find them all so changed. Or startlingly the same.

He pats the seat next to him on the worn couch, tilting his head in invitation for Mickey to take a seat. They’re in this together, this watchful worry over Ian.

And if Lip knows anything, he knows they always will be.

2.

The house is quiet when she gets home, pushing through the creaking front door with a sigh. She did what she had to do for Franny, but when all is said and done, Debbie just left a random kid with a total stranger.

And she just hopes it doesn’t come back to bite her in the ass.

She heaves another sigh as she kicks her shoes off, but before she can stomp up the stairs to bed, a hissed ‘ey, will you shut the fuck up? startles her from thought.

Debbie feels her heart leap into her throat, and she whirls around to see the back of a once-familiar head poking up from the sofa.

Mickey cranes his neck, just catching her eye in the dark.

“Either shut up or get out, Red,” he whispers, arching an eyebrow.

And she could be fifteen again, finding Mickey Milkovich sitting in the dark, alert and watchful over her sleeping brother. Threatening anyone that would disturb him.

Ian is fast asleep, his lanky body looking impossibly small where he’s curled up on the sofa. His head is in Mickey’s lap, mouth frowning in sleep. Mickey runs a hand through limp red hair and Debbie watches Ian’s face relax.

She tiptoes to the recliner and sits gingerly on the armrest, eyeing Ian closely.

“The fuck happened?” she asks softly.

“Some shit with his PO,” Mickey sighs. “I’d probably kill her if I didn’t think it’d start this shit all over again.”

Debbie stills, blood running cold. Memory upon memory unfurling.

Mickey, threatening to fuck up some other evil bitch that ruined Ian.

The two of them acting in the cover of night, young and terrified.

Herself, her rage laced with grief. Letting Mickey take the fall for it. Not saying anything. Not to Fiona, not to Ian. Not to Mickey, even.

Until now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, voice thin and shaking.

Mickey finally looks up from Ian. “The fuck for?”

“You went to prison,” Debbie says, and Mickey’s eyes bug out of his head.

“I know I did,” he scoffs. “What’s it to do with you?”

“I didn’t do anything,” she answers. “I never even said anything to Ian.”

Mickey rolls his eyes.

“You Gallaghers are always taking credit for shit that’s way bigger than you. Think anything would’ve been different if you had said shit? No way, kid.”

He’s agitated now, and Debbie watches in fascination as he curls one hand into a fist even as the other strokes lightly over Ian’s face.

“Ian knows, anyways,” he adds, and her eyes widen and fill at the thought.

“He does?”

She can’t stand it. She can’t stand the thought of Ian in those days, hurting and tired, knowing what she did. Knowing what she did and keeping it to himself, swallowing it down with all those pills. Grieving alone because she was too scared to speak up.

“‘Course,” Mickey says simply. “But no one thinks it was your fault, Red. Come on. You think any of us would have wanted you to risk yourself? I was fucked from the start, with or without you.”

“That’s so unfair,” Debbie breathes. Ian had them, at least, when he was ready for them. Who did Mickey have?

Mickey shrugs.

“It was what it was.” A beat. Then, softly, “And it’s over now.”

Debbie nods. Maybe it is over. Maybe they’re all home to stay. She thinks of Franny, sleeping upstairs. She stands and moves quietly across the living room.

One hand on the railing, she turns back to Mickey.

“Glad you’re home,” she whispers.

Mickey nods once in response, not even bothering to grunt back at her. He looks down at Ian and smiles.

3.

Carl’s brushing his teeth when Mickey Milkovich hurdles into the bathroom, lifting the toilet seat and whipping his dick out.

“Jesus,” he snaps around a mouthful of fluoride. “The fuck, Mickey?”

“Takin’ way too long in here, man,” Mickey groans. “Gotta get in here before the rest of you fuckers get up.”

“You couldn’t let me spit first?”

“Man, I spent the last year pissin’ in front of other people,'' Mickey laughs, flushing the toilet and shouldering Carl out of the way to wash his hands. “Why you acting like you didn’t spend all that time in juvie, wipin’ your ass in front of the whole cell block?”

“‘Cause it fucking sucked,” Carl answers, incredulous. “Just ‘cause Ian didn’t mind you pulling it out while he was trying to brush his fucking teeth doesn’t mean I have to deal with it.”

“Alright, champ, calm down,” Mickey says, holding his wet hands up in surrender. “The fuck’s up with you, anyways?”

Carl deflates, remembering what happened to Esther at that bus stop, and Mickey’s eyebrows shoot up. “Do I need to go get Ian or somethin’?”

He thinks about it. Thinks about Ian, clambering out of bed in concern, face open and sad as he puts a warm, solid hand on Carl’s shoulder. Ian would get this. Ian would get how it feels to mourn an injustice like that.

But Ian just got home, and Ian needs to be careful. The last thing he needs to do is pull on the cape for another crusade.

Carl shakes his head.

“Nah, man. Sorry. Saw some shit last night and it just - it, I dunno, kinda fucked with my head.”

“You in trouble?”

“No. Not shit like that. Worse than that. This fuckin’ neighborhood - ”

He bites down on his lip. Fuck this neighborhood.

Mickey nods. He gets it, too.

“Yeah. Fuckin’ wild to be back in this shit hole.” He leans over the sink, eyeing his own reflection. “It’s our shit hole though, ya know. Where else would you wanna be?”

West Point, Carl had thought. Somewhere he could earn the credit and respect to fix shit like what he saw last night.

But, like Ian before him, he’s come to calm that itch of restlessness in his bones. He’s here. And he’s gonna be here until some unforeseen wind pushes him onward.

He blinks and turns back to Mickey, who smirks at him in the mirror.

Carl slaps Mickey’s arm in thanks, bounding down the stairs past Lip and Debbie, calling over his shoulder about making change.

He’s down the block before he realizes that was his first conversation with Mickey in half a decade.

4.

Mickey’s not sure he’s ever seen a place so untouched by time as The Alibi. He stands in the doorway, Ian crowding close behind him, staring out over a place he used to frequent every goddamn day.

That stool, his stool. Where he sat and counted cash, dodging his wife’s scornful eye and trying to drink the memory of Ian away.

The pool table, lined with that same dingy green felt he leaned over with his brothers. A grimy bathroom he doesn’t want to think about. The stairs to that dusty room above the bar, that room where he’d tried to make something work.

He haunts this place. He’s just not sure anybody knows it.

His eyes drift to that spot at the center of the room; where he’d stripped himself bare and tasted his own blood. Ian’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder, and Mickey knows he’s looking there, too.

Everything feels the same, except him. Everything, including -

“Jesus fucking Christ, is that Mickey?”

Kevin Ball gapes at him from behind the bar, rubbing at his eyes in surprise. Ian breathes a laugh and pushes Mickey lightly into the room. His legs shake a little as he makes his way over, but he lifts his chin as he settles onto his old stool.

Kermit and Tommy nod at him over their drinks; Mickey flips them off in return.

Everything’s the same.

Except tonight, Ian sits on the stool next to him.

“Holy shit, man,” Kevin laughs, “look at you two just waltzing back in here. Didn’t know you were out, Mick.”

“Yeah, hey,” he says distractedly, eyes roaming of their own accord. Ian nudges him a little, and he looks back to see Kev placing a beer and a shot in front of him. “Thanks,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Been home long?” Kevin asks, cracking open a pop for Ian.

“Uh, no,” Mickey answers, picking up his beer and taking a long sip. He looks around again as he swallows, as if Terry could just appear from within the walls.

“Just a couple of days,” Ian adds.

Kevin nods, looking shockingly pensive before speaking again: “Well, hey, I don’t know what you guys are doin’ for work right now, but we could always get the old rub and t-”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Veronica snaps, coming around the bar with a crate of pint glasses. She shoves them at Kevin before reaching out an elegant hand to cup Ian’s face. Mickey tries to dodge her when she moves for him, but she’s too damn quick. Her skin is soft against his cheek.

“Good to see you, Mickey,” she says. “I was getting worried about Ian over there, moping around at home without you.”

And maybe everything’s not the same.

Ian blushes next to him, grumbling down into his glass of pop. He’s loose tonight, at ease and comfortable. He’s not tearing himself apart at the seams, begging Mickey for anything he can’t give.

Kevin and Veronica smile at him from behind the bar, glad to see him. It steals his breath away for a moment. People who knew him then - glad to see him. Glad to have him around again.

Mickey used to hide here. He hid from Svetlana on this stool, asking Kev for any hint of Ian. He hid from his father here in a room full of sharks, baring his own teeth while Ian sulked in the corner.

He hid here, bending girls over the bathroom sink, until he couldn’t hide anymore.

And it was here that he was the most honest he’s ever been.

No, I don’t want you to go.

What you and I have makes me free.

I’m fucking gay.

Just thought everybody should know that.

And though he hid here in plain sight, Mickey never really felt safe here until tonight. Until right now. He grins down at his beer, then looks up at Kev and V.

“S’good to see you, too.”

5.

It’s become kind of a thing since Ian got home.

Fiona calls while the rest of the world is still blinking awake, while the sun is still pale in the early morning sky. Just as Ian finishes his run.

He’s usually sitting on the front steps; sometimes he’s in the kitchen gulping down a glass of water. Fiona just likes to look at him, study him after months of hearing his tinny voice on the phone for ten minutes at a time.

She sits at her little dining table with a coffee and they chat - about how he’s adjusting to being home, about Lip and the baby, about missing Mickey. Ian’s quiet about work, and Fiona knows there’s something he’s not telling her, but there’s nothing she can do but trust him.

It’s there behind his eyes, that plea for her to just trust him.

But when Ian picks up her call, coming into focus while clearly still in bed, Fiona bites down on her worry.

Or tries to, anyways.

“What’re you doin’ still in bed?” she blurts out.

Ian holds a finger to his lips. “Hey, Fi,” he whispers.

He looks good, she notes, scanning his face for any sign of trouble. Ian’s skin is flushed and pink, eyes bright and clear. He’s smiling up at her, wide and easy.

“What’s going on,” she whispers back, “you got a visitor in there or somethin’?”

“I might,” he laughs, and Fiona is honestly shocked at the confirmation.

“Ian,” she hisses. “What about Mickey? You really been that lonely?”

Her brother huffs, chin jutting forward. He opens his mouth for a retort but is quickly cut off by a rough, sleepy voice.

“Yeah, what about me, huh?”

A tattooed hand lands on Ian’s face, patting at his cheek roughly. Ian snorts and pushes it away, rolling his eyes fondly.

“Wait - is that Mickey?” Fiona splutters. “I thought he still had months left!”

“You and me both,” Ian chuckles.

“How is he - did he - ”

“Gimme that,” Mickey snaps, and his face soon appears, tired and indignant. “I did not bust out again, if that’s what you’re thinkin’. I could have, but I walked outta there a free man, thank you.”

And Fiona can’t help it; she grins.

Because there is Mickey, who used an iron as a weapon, who kicked the shit out of a guy on his errands, who busted into her kitchen looking to kill Frank. There’s Mickey, who moved heaven and earth to find Ian over and over again, who looked after him when the rest of them weren’t sure how.

There he is, cuddled up to Ian’s side and snapping at her like he never left. As if he’d been there the whole time, right where he belongs.

“The fuck you smilin’ at?” he snaps again, but she knows it’s heatless. Ian squishes his face into the frame, still grinning.

“You,” Fiona answers easily. “M’just smilin’ at you.”

[loostssoul]

if you kissed me - Rodrick Heffley | 1.9k

Yeah yeah i know i haven't written since a million years ago. and yeah yeah i know this is my first real fanfiction i posted on tumblr. fair warning, i'm not the best writer, i honestly just do this for fun and i'm totally up to criticism because i do want to make my writing better. if this is literally inaccurate, im sorry its been like 5 years since i've read the books. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fluff-fest that I created in the span of a few hours.

paring: rodrick x reader genre: fluff. lots of fluff

Credits to the maker of the picture! 15 Days till the Contest | 9:42 PM, Saturday

Plick, plick, plick

My speakers were blasting so loud I almost didn’t hear the sound of pebbles hitting my window.

Plick, plick, plick

I rubbed my eyes and slammed my laptop shut, walking toward my bedroom window. Peering down, I saw a figure a few yards down from my second-story bedroom, looking back up at me. Dark brown, messy hair that stuck up around his face. A red and black flannel, black ripped jeans, and, (of course) a tee-shirt with “Loded Diper” clumsily written on it. A grin spread on his face as he saw my face come into his view, causing me to blush. Rodrick Heffley, Crossland High bad boy, and my boyfriend.

I unlocked the latch to my window and stuck my head out, taking in the cool air and letting the neighbors enjoy the music I was playing (they never did). I looked down.

“Y/N!” He whisper-yelled

“Evening, Heffley.”

“I need to tell you something!”

“What’s so important that you have to scratch my window instead of using the power of modern technology to call me?”

His mouth opened to give me a response, but nothing came out. I smirked, “Come on up.”

I opened the window wider as he climbed the trellis that lined the back of my house. I backed up to my door and locked it. Precautions, my parents liked Rodrick but they definitely wouldn’t approve of him in my room at night. I looked back and I saw him, every feature of him illuminated by the light of my room. His cheeky smile and chocolate brown eyes. He slowly closed the window and walked toward me, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I still got butterflies whenever he touched me.

“Hey, Spiderman. What did ya climb in here to tell me?” I asked

“I got Loded Diper into a contest.”

My eyes widened, Loded Diper, my boyfriend’s rock band, wasn’t exactly known for being the best. It was mostly known for his mom’s insane dance moves during the Plainview Talent Show. But of course, i'll never say that in front of his face.

“You did?! That’s awesome Rodrick!”

“Yeah! It's a battle of the bands contest, we’re going against two other bands. I really think this is gonna be our big break!” His eyes sparkled in excitement.

His happiness was contagious, he was like a goddamn puppy. I pulled him into my arms. “I’m proud of you Rod.” I muttered and smiled into his collarbone. I felt him inhale the scent of my hair and twirl my locks around his fingers.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the hug. “I’m having practice tomorrow with the band, you wanna come?”

“Sure. I go to every practice anyway, why miss out on this one?” I shrugged.

He chuckled and looked at me. Really looked at me. That’s one of the reasons why I fell for him. It never seemed like it, but he paid attention. We’ve only been dating for 4 months, but he knew me like no one else did, and I knew that in the way he looked at me. I felt his hand cup my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek in small circles. I looked up at him, noticing how tall he was, how close he was. Was I the one who leaned in? Was he the one who leaned in? Did we just do it subconsciously? Did he want this? Was he ready? Was I ready?

The ringing of Rodrick’s phone filled the room. The daze we were trapped in was gone and we separated, our faces red. Rodrick picked up the phone, it was his mom.

“Yeah, mom? Mom...I’m in the middle of something. I’ll do laundry later, ok? Now? C’mon… Alright, fine. Bye.” He hung up. “Sorry, I gotta blast.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked him as he started toward my window.

He looked back at me and planted a kiss on my forehead, the farthest we’ve ever gone with physical touch as a couple.

“Tomorrow”

~~✰✰✰~~

14 Days till the Contest | 1:22 PM, Saturday afternoon

“Should we take it from the top?”

Practice wasn’t going so well. I could feel the nervousness, the tension. Drums were slightly off beat, the guitarist’s fingers would fly to the wrong places on the fretboard, lyrics would go all over the place. The contest was two weeks away, and Loded Diper was already feeling the anxiousness. I sat on the floor of the garage, on top of a picnic blanket I found. To Rodrick’s dismay, his mom forced him to let Greg watch band practice, as a form of “brother-to-brother bonding time.” Greg sat next to me, mockingly covering his ears.

“Oh thank god, it's done.” Greg said with an immense amount of sarcasm and uncovering his ears.

Rodrick threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at his head, “Shut up.”

“Both of you, be nice.” I laughed. “I think you guys should take a break for a while, maybe shake off the nerves.”

“Good idea Y/N, 20 minute break everyone!” The lead singer said. Everyone spread out, grabbing a piece of pizza ordered earlier and laying down. Greg ran out of the garage, yelling, “I’m free!”

Rodrick stood up and began gulping down a bottle of water. He wore a black tanktop and black ripped jeans, sweat dripping down his forehead. I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He turned and faced me, running his hands through my hair, lost in thought.

“You ok, Rod?” I asked him.

He sighed, “nerves”

I leaned my head on his chest, “You’re gonna do great, you’ve done so many gigs in the past. Think of this as one of those!”

He smiled at me, “You know what would make me feel a lot less nervous?”

“Oh god. What?”

A really common thing Rodrick did was try to bargain a kiss on the lips from me. It's been an ongoing joke, a meaningless bit he did all the time. I’ll do my homework if you kissed me on the lips. I’ll smile in the picture if you kissed me on the lips. It still hasn’t worked.

“I might be less nervous if you kissed me on the lips.” He whispered to me.

I rolled my eyes, “If that’s what it takes then I think you’ll lose the competition.”

He let go of me and laughed, my favorite laugh. “Worth a try.” He shrugged, going off to join his bandmates and the pizza. But as I watched him smile and laugh with his friends, I lost myself. I thought about the previous night. The way we fit into each other, the closeness, the fact that was so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes.

Maybe I should just say yes.

~~✰✰✰~~

The Day of the Contest

For the past 2 weeks, Rodrick has given me the “kiss-bargain” joke 9 times. Every time, I deflected it with sarcastic remarks, and every time I regretted not agreeing.

I sat on the front steps of my porch, waiting for Rodrick to pick me up. I regretted the jean shorts and plain black tee-shirt I had on, as a cold breeze brushed my skin. I pulled my black leather jacket on, which I painted “Loded Diper” on the back in white paint. Then, I heard it. The echo of heavy metal turned to full blast, and… the faint sound of something big getting knocked over. Oh god, they’re here. The white van with “Loded Diper” written in huge words screeched to a halt in front of my house.

The window rolled down, revealing my boyfriend and his excited grin. “Get in.”

~~✰✰✰~~

30 minutes till Loded Diper preforms

It felt surreal to be backstage, and really exciting. Energy was flowing through the room, as all the other bands talked and played. The rest of the band members seemed excited, full of adrenaline. Except for Rodrick, he’s been nervous ever since soundcheck. His leg was bouncing,he twirled his drumsticks around, drumming them on random objects, and his eyes stared into nothing.

“Rodrick, you want me to do your eyeliner?”

“Huh?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the ground, his voice seemed far away.

I lifted a liquid eyeliner pen I had in my pocket, “Eyeliner. I just did mine, we can match!”

He lifted his head and noticed me. I had my eyeliner smudged, just like he always does during a gig. He grinned, “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

I’ve done his eyeliner many times in the past, and I loved doing it because I had to be as close to him as possible. So I hopped onto his lap, pressing myself close to him, trying to comfort him with my warmth.

“Close your eyes.” I ordered.

As I applied his eyeliner, I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. It was heavy, and fast. I’m pretty sure I would still hear it if I wasn’t as close to him as I was, even though the loud music blasting through the theatre.

“Done”

He opened his eyes, and butterflies flooded my stomach. We were close. Very close. Should I do it? Should I lean in?

Rodrick probably sensed my flustered-ness. He smirked, “Cat got your tongue?”

I rolled my eyes, blushing hard. “Shut up.” I said, playfully punching him.

~~✰✰✰~~

“5 Minutes until Loded Diper performs!” A man exclaimed to us.

Rodrick was as nervous as ever. We’ve been standing on the left wing of the stage, watching the other bands play. It felt like a bunch of Loded Diper copy-pastes. A bunch of high schoolers, weird names, very aggressive playing. But they were still pretty good. Rodrick was biting the nails of one of his hands and tapping his other hand on the wall behind him. I looked up at him and held his hand, stopping it from fidgeting. He smiled nervously.

Now or never Y/N…

“Hey, you said that if I kiss you, you won’t be as nervous. Right?”

He looked at me, wide eyed. He seemed to be trying to compute what I said.

I stood on tiptoe and put his face in my hands. It was that night all over again. Every detail of his face, of him was in full view. His eyes, his eyeliner, his scent, his lips. I leaned in.

His lips were soft against mine, but they were tense, flustered. I was terrified, It was the wrong place, the wrong time. Until I felt one hand in my hair, another on my waist, pulling me closer.

How long was the kiss? A few seconds? It felt like minutes, hours. Sparked ignited. Butterflies flew in my stomach. His scent was the only thing I smelled, his warmth was the only thing I felt. The music faded away. Everything faded away. It was just him and I. Until we broke apart, taking in deep breaths of each other. We wanted more, but Loded Diper was playing in a few seconds.

“Hey, Rodrick.”

“Yeah?”

“If you win I’ll kiss you again”

We both knew I would kiss him regardless.

I didn't edit this because editing is for wimps (just kidding be responsible and edit your work)

please like and reblog because it gives me serotonin and i need that

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[headheartbellarke]

JEALOUS | Luke Patterson

Requested by anon: “5 times Luke gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have too. Luke x reader?”

PAIRING(s): Mercer!fem reader x Luke Patterson WARNING(s): angst, fluff WORDS: 2.3k SUMMARY: Five times Luke Patterson gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have to.

A/N: hi! sorry this took so long, lol. school sucks. :/ i promise im gonna be posting more frequently from now onwards! anyway, decided to make y/n alex’ sister, bc i’ve been wanting to try it for a while. hope u like it!! <3 also, song used is carry me by kygo ft. julia michaels.

1.

The first time that Luke Patterson feels that scorching, smoldering rage in the pit of his stomach is when he notices Y/N Mercer stare at his bandmate, Bobby Wilson, for the entirety of their hour-long Literature class.

At first, he doesn’t understand why he feels this way: Y/N’s just as much Bobby’s friend as she is his. Well, not really – Luke likes to believe that he is the one that she is closest to in the band, other than her brother, Alex, of course. Sure, Bobby and Y/N are friends – they say ‘hi’ when they pass by each other in the hallway, she helps him out with his Physics homework when he asks, and he asks her how her day’s been – that sort of friends. They’ve never really interacted more than it was required, and Luke knows that if Bobby wasn’t a part of their band, Sunset Curve, or if Y/N wasn’t their drummer’s sister, those two wouldn’t be friends.

Anyway, he thinks that maybe it’s because they are supposed to be partners, working on their assignment together – and instead, she is choosing to abandon him and stare at one of his best mates, instead. He thinks that maybe he’s mad because she promised him that she would help him out with this assignment, which is particularly hard, and now, it feels like he’s ditching her.

Instead of thinking about why he is so bothered at the fact that Y/N is staring at Bobby, Luke chooses to elbow her instead.

“What?” She whispers, a blush covering her cheeks.

“Can you focus?” He snaps as she rolls her eyes and opens their textbook.

“You’re annoying.”

2.

“Alex, Alex, Alex!”

“Luke, I’m sitting right beside you – you don’t need to yell.”

“There’s something that you should know.” Luke whispers, conspiratorially. Alex, who’s sitting beside him on the couch in the garage where they rehearse, leans forward, intrigued. “What?”

He points at Y/N, who’s sitting in front of Reggie in the opposite side of the room, strumming a guitar – Reggie’s teaching her how to play. Unlike her twin brother, she’s not naturally gifted in music, which is pretty evident from her occasional frustrated huffs, and the obviously off-key tune. Rather, science is her talent, and has always been. The top spot in their class has been permanently occupied by her ever since their first exam as freshmen.

“She!” Luke whispers. Alex furrows his brows. “Yes, I know that she has no musical talent whatsoever –”

“No, no, no. I mean, yes, she doesn’t have that – but you wanna know what she does?”

“I have a feeling that you’re gonna tell me even if I don’t wanna know.” Alex mutters.

“She has a crush on Bobby!” Luke scrunches his face, a disgusted look taking over.

The drummer raises his brows and bursts out laughing. “Really, dude?”

“No, no, no, I’m not lying, okay! I’ve seen her stare at him!”

He raises his brows. “So? She stares at a lot of people.”  

“It wasn’t that way, okay? Last week, in class, she was ignoring me and staring at him. Plus, yesterday, when you were god knows where, she and Bobby were having a conversation. An actual conversation! I’ve never seen them talk that much. They were nerding out over Star Wars!”

“Dude, are you…” Alex pauses, looking around, “… jealous?” A smile spreads over his features.

Luke’s eyes widen, and he looks horrified. “What? Me? Jealous? Huh? Me? How?”

Inside, he is panicking. He hadn’t considered this possibility. Is he jealous? No, that can’t be. Y/N – he’s known her forever, and he is supposed to think of her as his sister. He does think so. He’s sure. He can’t – he doesn’t like her. She’s just… Y/N. Sure, he’s always thought that she’s beautiful. And smart. And so, so kind. He’s always admired her. OK, he might have had a little crush on her. But, in a totally harmless, admiring way! (In the way everyone seems to like Winona Ryder these days. Nothing more than that. Absolutely.)

She’s just Y/N.

Y/N, who’s always there for him after he has a bad day. Y/N, who’s the first person he hugs after playing an intense show. Y/N, who’s the only person who can understand his silence. Y/N, who makes sure that he knows that she appreciates him. Y/N, who he knows like the back of his hand.

Before Luke can panic any further, Bobby enters the garage, and Luke notices her attention immediately shift toward him. They exchange a smile, and Luke feels that rage, yet again.

He falls back on the couch, locking eyes with Alex, who is silently watching with a soft smile on his face.

“I’m not jealous.” He says weakly, and Alex nods – but he knows that it doesn’t convince either of them. His friend lays a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “It’s okay.”

3.

By the time the next month rolls around, Luke is positive that he’s jealous: so, he’s resorted to not thinking about it, her or even interacting with her – which is hard considering that she’s always around.

Now, he feels like shit. For their junior year, they are supposed to do a report on a Victorian era novel of their choice, with a partner. He and Y/N were supposed to partners – they had decided months ago and have also done previous assignments together. But now, since he hasn’t even dared to look at her in a month, she’s now doing the report with Bobby, of all people.

As he watches Bobby and Y/N sit next to each other with their arms brushing, he feels that rage again, and curses himself. Could he not have behaved like a normal person? He knows that she is confused as to why he’s suddenly ignoring and avoiding her – she has even asked her brother about it. But Luke had threatened Alex that he would tell everyone about his crush on Reggie if he even said a single syllable.

(Although Luke knows that he would never.)

He sighs, dramatically, and searches for someone else to pair up with, ignoring the way his heart clenches at the realization that he may be losing her.

4.

“Luke?”

He looks up and feels a rush in his veins.

“Are you… mad at me?” Y/N asks tentatively, standing at the door to his bedroom. Her eyes keep flitting between his face and around his bedroom, and he hates the fact that there seems to be an ocean between them.

“Uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, not knowing what to respond. She looks down at her feet, biting her lip and Luke feels a tug on his heartstrings at that. It’s been so, so long and he has so, so much to tell her, but he doesn’t know how to bridge the gap that he created.

He builds up his courage and says, “Yeah. I was kinda mad at you.”

Her eyebrows furrow, and panic flows into her e/c eyes. “What – what’d I do?”

Luke inhales sharply and wonders what he’s gonna say. It’s not like he can say that he was jealous of the fact that she liked Bobby, nor could he say that in the past month he has realized the fact that he may have a tiny, little crush on her and had to avoid her at all costs because she will never like him back and it’s too embarrassing?

He clears his throat. “Uh. It’s because you promised that you would do the English project with me but you’re doing it with Bobby.”

“But I’m only doing it with him because you won’t even look at me! Why won’t you?”

“I… You also ignored me for Bobby the other day?”

She throws her hands up. “What other day?”

“When we were working on the Shakespeare thingy!”

“I was not – now you’re making –”

“Forget it. Just go home, Y/N.”

A look of hurt flashes over her eyes, but she quickly clenches her jaw, and stands straighter, masking her emotions. “Asshole.”

She walks out his door, slamming the door shut behind her.

For the rest of the day, Luke lies on his bed and stares at his ceiling, and when Reggie comes over, he tells him that he’s ruined everything. Reggie lies beside him and asks softly, “You okay?”

“I think I like Y/N.” He whispers.

“We know.”

His lips part and he says in disbelief, “Alex told you?!”

Reggie shrugs. “He didn’t need to. Everyone can see the way that you look at her.”

Luke sighs, too tired to argue.

“Hey. It’s just a date, alright? It’s not like they’re getting married.”

Luke props himself on his elbow. “What?”

“Y’know, Y/N’s really picky –”

“What date?”

Reggie’s eyes widen. “Y-You didn’t know?”

Luke raises his brows, urging his friend to continue. He purses his lips and says, “Y/N and Bobby are on a date right now.”

Instantly, Luke feels as if his world has drained of every colour. Reggie looks uncomfortable, and whispers, “I thought you knew.”

“I, uh, I didn’t. Obviously.” He whispers, falling back on the bed again. His heart physically hurts, and he can feel tears prick at the back of his eyes. Mostly, he feels anger – at himself, and regret.

As jealousy claws its way to the surface, Luke mutters, “I hate Bobby.”

5.

Luke sits cross legged on the floor of the garage, with a Spanish guitar perched on his lap. His hands dance over the strings, trying to find the perfect melody for the song he just wrote.

Writing songs has always been his way of dealing with his emotions, especially when they got too intense. Right now, the situation with Y/N is exactly that.

His eyes dance over the notebook in front of him, and he closes his eyes, trying to forget everything that’s happened in the past couple of days.

“Cause I don't know how we How we got so far, you and me Almost like there's oceans between us, us So I need to know Could you carry me? Back into your heart again Could you carry me? Right into your distant hands Could you carry me? Right back to where we started from Could you carry me?”

“That’s beautiful.”

Luke’s head turns sharply to the side, and of course, it’s her. He clenches his jaws, and says, “What are you doing here?” He hates the fact that she looks so pretty, wearing a beautiful red sundress.

She bites her lower lip, and says, “We should talk, Luke.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

She giggles. “You’ve always been the jealous type.”

He raises his brows, opening his mouth to deny whatever she was about to say next, but she raises a hand to stop him. “Alex and Reg told me. They said that they’re tired of seeing you mope every day.”

“I –”

“Hold on. So, for the past month, you’ve been mad at me because you thought I like Bobby?”

Luke lowers his head, choosing to stare at his open palm instead.

“You ignored one of your best friends for more than a month because you were jealous, and you were too much of an idiot to tell her the truth?”

“Well, you don’t gotta be so mean about it.”

She laughs. “Luke. Bobby and I – we’re just friends, okay? I was staring at him because I really liked his hair. And you have to admit it – it’s nice. I actually asked him for his shampoo, too. But, well, you and him both thought that I liked him. That’s why he asked me out to the movies last day. But... uh, well, it didn’t work out.”

His heart races at the last sentence. “Why?”

“Because I like you, Luke. I always have. I thought I could like Bobby, I really did – but all I could think about last night was you.” She shrugs, and Luke feels like he’s falling. He thinks that the universe is playing a prank on him, but when he sees her crimson tinged face, the vulnerability in her eyes and her fiddling with her hands, he allows himself to feel the slightest amount of hope.

She looks down, continuing, “I, uh, I always thought that you only saw me as your best friend’s little sister. I didn’t ever think that, you know, that there could be something more. So, I kept it to myself and only Alex knew. But, last night, Reg came over and they were screaming for a while, about you and me, so I went to find out what happened, and they told me that you, uh, liked me too.”

Reggie. He must have told Alex that Luke was ugly crying on his shoulder.

“Please say something, Luke.”

He releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I – I feel like you’re pranking me.”

She grins. “No. No, definitely not.”

“Y/N, god, you have no idea how difficult this past month has been for me. I mean, I never realized that I liked you that much until I saw you with him, you know? I always thought that I had a tiny, little crush on you but I never… and I thought that Alex would kill me if I did anything, but he’s been oddly… nice about all this.”

“He’s just tired of hearing me talk about you.”

“Probably. But yeah. I think you’re brilliant, Mercer. And I really, really, really like you.”

She jumps a little, and whispers, “I really, really, really like you too.”

“Do you maybe wanna go to the movies with me?” His wide grin matches hers.

“Only if we watch part two of Father of The Bride.”

“Deal.”

+1.

Luke watches Bobby smile at Y/N, looking at her as if she’s put the moon in the sky. Although, this time, he doesn’t feel the rage. He doesn’t need to, really, with Y/N’s hand wrapped in his, and the ghost of her lips still lingering on his.

 requests open! as always, feedback is highly appreciated <33

[everythingsinred]

i just saw that post you reblogged a few days ago, the one that was like “Send me a character and a number and I’ll tell you my headcanons for..” and just.

is it too much to ask for all of them for natsume 😅😅😅😳😳😳 or if that’s too much just whatever ones you feel like doing, i just love what you have to say about him

thank u for sending this to me :,) it means a lot. yes i can attempt to do all of them bc this kid has been on my mind for more than a decade now <3

theres a read more bc this is long :) i hope the answers are satisfactory

1) Something this character is truly proud of. this is hard to say bc he lives for other people. he'd be outwardly very proud of ruka, mikan, and aoi for their achievements and for having such amazing loved ones but i think eventually, after some working on himself he might recognize his own deeds and be proud of himself (or at least... thats what i want for him)

2) Who they want to please the most. also hard to say hhhHHHH bc although he definitely has a martyr complex i dont really consider him a people pleaser. ig in some ways, same answer as above (aoi, mikan, and ruka). i think in the future when he and mikan are dating he'd be a very annoying and doting boyfriend.

3) Who depends on them. bc of his martyr complex, plenty of people. more or less same answer. although its not bad for people to depend on each other, i think it would be good if in the future natsume could work on himself and not take on everything for everyone bc its not healthy for anyone involved.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live. i feel like he's perpetually in this situation bc of his alice shape lmao. he knows, especially before mikan inserts her alice stone into him, that he has very little time left before he croaks. if we were to say this is in the future and all the previous obstacles that held him back before were removed, i think he'd just wanna spend as much time with his loved ones as he can, but he wouldn't tell them what's happening (assuming he knows he only has a month left). i mean he already monopolizes mikan in kageki so he would just double down on that i think.

5) A cherished personal belonging. well he doesnt have the alice stones from mikan anymore, but the promise ring that replaced them would probably be his new precious belonging. i also think that the hourglass ruka gifted to him for his birthday would be another cherished belonging.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back. in an abstract way, id say the four years that he and mikan were separated. in kageki he can see aoi pretty frequently, and im assuming communications have been somewhat laxed so he can talk to his dad sometimes??? (i fucking hope or im gonna have to throw hands with the principals) all in all i just think he'd try not to regret many things and instead just take advantage of the time he has left bc he's been on the brink of death for like half his life.

7) This character’s favorite character. he loves manga so its probably a manga character. hes read some crazy stuff from what we can see, anything from shoujo to shounen, sanrio catalogs to yaoi (insane that he just reads all this shit in the middle of class without any shame whatsoever). i cant really speculate what kind of manga he'd enjoy from that, or what characters, but i think he would DISLIKE characters like himself. he'd understand them, but he wouldn't enjoy them. he'd like happier, more cheerful characters that remind him of his loved ones. i think, especially in lonelier times, that he would find comfort in them.

8) What kind of car they would drive. outside the academy, natsume grew up poor, but inside the academy he got a pretty hefty allowance. idk if that really adds up irl, or if he's been saving properly, but maybe he'd have enough to buy a sweet ride. i cant name makes or models bc im too busy knowing more important things like every thing that ever happened in the gakuen alice manga, but i think his dream car would be something pretty awesome. i feel like he'd ideally drive a four-door red car with black leather seats. in all my fanfiction so far tho hes driven a shitty car bc i like to write him poor. (i am also poor and my car is shitty as well but not visibly so)

9) What calms them when they are upset. i think he'd like physical attention, like hugs and cuddles. if he cant get that from his bff or gf i like to imagine he'd read manga or eat chocolate.

10) How they deal with pain. not well! like sure he probably has a pain threshold that's through the roof, but he never communicates it, physical pain or otherwise, so nobody can ever help him and the pain is never alleviated. he just sits there and pretends like everything is normal. i want him to get therapy so he stops doing that

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. ugh his sense of fashion is incredible. boy wears feather boas and tartan shorts and sleeveless shirts with gloves, all in clashing patterns and colors. maybe thats just the official art, set in crazy and abstract situations. but still! in the memorial book he wore a sweater vest with no shirt under and it makes me so upset i get physically ill. he maybe has a sense of fashion, but it's not socially acceptable at all and it shouldn't be. on one hand, his fashion sense is so bizarre it wouldn't surprise me if a short sleeved, zip-up turtleneck (like shiki's) was his favorite, or something similar. on the other hand, i also wouldn't be surprised if he didn't really have a favorite piece of clothing at all bc i could understand if his fashion eccentricities come from a place of complete apathy as opposed to actual eccentricity.

12) How they sleep. well we saw a lil bit of him sleeping so... he's a restless sleeper for sure. he has nightmares and experiences sickness and physical pain when he's sleeping. bc he's unconscious he can't pretend like he's not in pain so he has an expression of agony. horrible. still, i'd like to think he'd start sleeping better in the future, when his life-shortening alice is cured and he's no longer experiencing perpetual physical torment :) maybe he talks in his sleep! how funny would that be

13) What kind of parent they would be. i feel like natsume would be hesitant at first to be a dad. like he'd be super happy to find out mikan is pregnant ofc but he'd be hesitant. maybe he wouldn't voice it. he'd be uncomfortable on several counts: 1) life shortening alices are genetic and he would never want his child to suffer as he has. 2) he'd be scared that he wouldn't have as much time to spend with his kid as he'd like and would be sad to miss out on important milestones in the case that he dies too young. in my mind the life-shortening alice gets cured after a few years so these become non-issues and thus he gets very happy about having a kid.

naturally he'd be selfless and giving, like any parent should be. tho mikan would be way more outwardly affectionate, he'd be a huggy father i think. and he'd spoil his kids 100%. and he'd have a zero tolerance policy if anyone even looked at them wrong. a good dad i think. he will be a dad i decided long ago about this and if higuchi says otherwise then she is wrong im sorry but this is non-negotiable.

14) How they did in school. he's a special star, but that wasn't rly earned by merit. then again, i think the academy wouldn't take any stars away just bc the esp is gone bc. like seriously how fucked up would that be?? and kageki said that although he graduated early, it wasn't because he studied; it was bc he earned credits through missions. anyway natsume is smart but lazy and unambitious and he doesn't study for tests. in the anime he scored high on the exams despite the fact that he DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ALL OF THEM??? i choose to believe that's canon in the manga too. he's smart but extremely lazy so he performs well but is never valedictorian or top scorer on account of the fact that he can't outperform fellow smart kids who actually do try, like yuu or hotaru.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use. HHHHHH okay my sister zoe and i have made a lot of jokes about natsume using axe bodyspray and i have never let go of that so i'm team axe, at least during his teen years. as he gets older, people keep gifting him fancy colognes for christmas and birthdays so he ends up using those instead, mostly out of convenience than personal decision to switch. most of my headcanons about natsume actually involve a sense of apathy or going with the flow bc its easy. he's just so lazy imo

16) Their sexuality. he's straight 100%. he only has eyes for mikan. except for that one time misaki did the cosplay challenge during the relay race. to be fair to him, everyone had eyes for misaki then. but mostly mikan. this is very skewed bc he fell in love as a child and he's so fully devoted to her he'd never consider anybody else.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke. i imagine he'd be unhappy to be invited to karaoke at all and would stubbornly sit out for the first half. let's imagine they're older so he might be loosened by alcohol or maybe by pestering of ruka or mikan so he might be persuaded eventually to do a duet, maybe a love song like a thousand years with mikan or bohemian rhapsody with ruka. i can't imagine he'd choose to sing on his own though.

18) Special talents they have. we'll ignore alice-related things, like lighting fires that don't burn. he's good at reading people, so he can see when someone is trying to hide their sadness which comes in handy bc mikan needs someone who pays attention and can notice when she's not actually feeling as smiley as she's letting on. he's also of tactical and strategic mind (on account of the DA class) so he'd probably be REALLY good at laser tag

19) When they feel safest. when he's hanging out with his loved ones. this feels like a cop-out answer but i can't really answer any other way. especially considering the LIFETIME of trauma he's experienced, he would frequently get triggered or reminded of painful memories so he'd feel a lot more comfortable in those situations if ruka or mikan was around to show him compassion, or aoi who was also abused by persona and can relate to him and understand him.

20) Household chore they hate the most. this is such a weird question to me bc isn't cleaning the bathroom universally the worst chore? bathrooms are inherently disgusting and deep cleaning them is painstaking. ig if i dont count that, he might hate dusting the most. he has sensitive lungs from coughing every day for his whole life so dust doesn't sit well with him.

21) Their fondest childhood memory. another awkward question on account of him being a child during the manga's run but let's just make this about his life before the academy bc let's be honest he had to stop being a kid entirely when he went to the academy. i think he'd have very few memories of his mother bc she died when he was so little, but he would treasure the vague and faded memories he does have of her. he'd also love the memories he spent with his family. simple dinners with his dad and aoi would mean a lot, especially when he was separated from them. also he treasures the memories of meeting and befriending ruka, who is his first and dearest friend.

22) How they spend their money. he buys manga and snacks. i think, for the four years that mikan is away, he would sometimes decide to eat in his dorm as opposed to going down to the dining hall/cafeteria and having to socialize, so he'd keep his room stocked with things to eat. he also buys people presents. if they pass a store in central town and mikan goes "ooh look at that! that's cool!" he'd just shrug and buy it for her.

23) What kind of alcohol they drink. man im so unqualified to have thoughts abt this bc im a bad slav and i dont drink often (like maybe a few times a year). still, i do have thoughts. i think he'd be a bad influence and would drink some during the four years mikan was gone, maybe once he's fifteen or so. he'd partake a bit. narumi said he misbehaved a lot during her absence so maybe drinking is part of it, but he also has people who really care about him, especially ruka, and aoi when she gets into the opera school, so they'd curb his bad behavior a little. when he gets reunited with mikan, i think he'd drink socially instead of in a troublemaking sort of way.

i think he'd try to stick with manly drinks at first, like whiskey, but then he'd try some sweet fruity cocktail that mikan orders and then he'd like it and start ordering those instead.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves. boy has self-esteem issues but most importantly he would change his alice situation, which is later dealt with on account of the cure and all.

25) What other people wish they could change about them. ruka and mikan both just want him to value himself more and stop sacrificing himself for others. over time, with their help and maybe some therapy he'd eventually get to a healthier place with his self-esteem

[minilpark]

Is this the third time requesting you in the same day? Yes. Do i regret it? No.

I have 2 requests

1- when they met. Im gonna give you total creative wisdom here because i honestly dont know what i want. If you want you can rewrite another meet cute you wrote for another character and kinda modify it to coyote.

2- in this story, coyote was raised by his grandparents and had a sister 3 years older than him. You met 10 years ago, became a couple 7 years ago and finally got married 5 years ago. neither of you wanted an actual wedding so the “wedding” was something private only the 2 of you, you hadnt met his grandparents because they lived across the vountfy from the base both of you worked at. Finally got a chance to fly and go meet them.

(Also his sister {Lets call her Salma} and you already met and her as the proud sister she is, tried everything in her power to embarrase javy by showing you baby pictures of him and stuff)

Thank you for helping me on my JAVY COYOTE MACHADO WORLD DOMINATION!!!

hey, im glad you trust me enough with your coyote requests! i'm gonna work on the first one, taking it as a bit of civilian!reader stance this time, but for the second one, imma direct you to this post for a bit of my hcs about the family dynamics you have with his family instead! i think you should give that second request to someone who is more experienced in writing an actual story than me lmao-

javy was finally able to catch some r&r for a while so he decided to visit home

its been a long while since he's seen his family so he figured it was time for a visit

so he left the base in virginia and headed home

home for him was high point, nc

a somewhat big town with a good amount of things to do

once he was all settled again he decided to take his dog, jagger, to the local park to get some quality time with his boy

little did he know he'd meet you at the park that day as well

you were laying on a picnic blanket under one of the trees to hide from the sun while reading a book recommended to you by a friend

half way through the chapter, you felt something hit your leg

and when you sat up to look down at the object, you realised it was a foam football and a cute lil pit was running towards you for it

so you sat the book down while the pup ran/basically fell into your lap trying to get the ball

and were promptly attacked with kisses from this random dog

until you heard a man calling out a name, which you presumed to be the pit's, while running up to your blanket

"oh my god i am so sorry about jagger-"

you just take a second to scratch behind the cute pup's ear and shake your head

"aw don't worry about it, he's such a cute lil guy anyways-"

after giving him a bit of love you stood up, dusted yourself off and held out a hand

"my name's y/n. what's yours, stranger?"

he just smiles and firmly shakes your hand back

"i'm javy, it's nice to meet you"

you nod your head meaning likewise and offer the man to sit with you to which he gratefully accepts

i mean how could he not, a person who got along with his dog immediately, and was as attractive as you were? he had to know more

and so that led to you both getting to know each other, basically playing a game of 20(+) questions

you learned he was here to visit his family and that he was a naval aviator which seemed really cool from all the dumb stories he told you (all of course he was allowed to share), you also learned he liked jazz and rnb, he appreciated movies a bit more than books, and his favourite number was 7 among other things you talked about

he learned that you moved to the area not long after he left for the navy, you adored music, and that you had a passion for (insert your hobbies here)

long story short, you two talked until the sun started to set

and that's when you decided you'd like to see more of javy, so you gave him your number, gave his dog a few ear scratches before packing your stuff away in your car to drive home

he didn't leave that long after

and he didn't wait to text you that long either

which led to yall hanging out frequently over the course of his visit home

it really was a relationship in the making-

[hobidreams]

damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

[ggukcangetit]

Dreamcatchers 6

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Summary: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.  

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 

A/N:  it’s been a while since i posted and even longer since i updated this fic but its still here and so am i! lol. updates are not gonna be very frequent but i have a list of works in progress that i plan to finish so there will be something or the other being posted at the most random moments.

also, reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios​ prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!

21st December

"Is this how you conduct a sample analysis?! Where did you even train? I've half a mind to report you and get you kicked out!!"

Yuri stopped at her desk, surprised to hear Seulgi's yelling so loudly that she could be heard all the way from the floor above. She was usually extremely calm and even-tempered, but the past couple of days had seen her irritable, snappy, and downright furious.

"Dr. Ahn sounds really angry," whispered Jisoo, clutching a file close to her chest. "I've never heard her yell at anybody before. I hope she's okay."

"I'm sure everything's fine," said Jeon, walking over to his desk and dropping a bunch of files on it. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Yuri raised an eyebrow at him, but complied nonetheless. They walked outside, standing near a clump of trees outside of earshot of anyone in the station.

"Guess who I've just brought in on suspicion of murder for the 2nd Nov case?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"No!" gasped Yuri. "Minhyuk?"

"Yep. He's been in the country for a while now. Fancy giving me a hand with the interview?"

"Me? I mean," she bit her lip. "I wasn't part of the original investigation."

"I know, but in light of what you've found out and the fact that you're now my partner, Goh thinks it's okay."

"You told Goh?!"

"I had to. I can't restart the investigation without his permission."

Jeon stared at her for a few moments, trying to gauge her reaction. "So, what do you say?"

"Alright. Let's nail this bastard."

Ahreum was late. She had a meeting with one of her professors to decide on which medical stream she'd specialize in. Despite using forensics as an excuse to distract Seulgi, she was seriously considering it now. Deciding to pursue medicine had been a drastic career switch for Ahreum, and a lot of people had questioned her decision relentlessly. But if there was something she had learnt in the years following her parents' divorce, it was patience and the ability to block out irrelevant conversations. Namjoon had always been immersed in his studies, barely affected by the bitterness existing between their parents. Ahreum, barely in high school, felt lost and helpless during those times. After the divorce, things had become less tumultuous and she was able to see her parents as individual entities. That was when she realized that her father was never going to like any of her decisions, no matter how hard she tried to please him, and her mother preferred to stay aloof at the best of times. Ahreum learnt pretty early in life, that she needed to be there for herself. She loved her brother and parents, though the latter a lot less than the former. Her decision to study English Literature and Creative Writing had been a spur of the moment one - dictated more by the fact that her high school boyfriend was going to study at a major Arts university. She didn't really regret any of her decisions. Her degree had led her to finding a hobby she adored - photography. And having a freelance job meant that she could stay with Namjoon - who earned a significantly larger amount than her - and move whenever he needed to move as well. This was also how she had met Taehyung 3 years ago - a happy coincidence of events when she had been taking pictures outside the museum at Seoul. They had started talking about art and photography, eventually realizing that they lived in the same part of the city. In addition to Yuri, she also considered Taehyung to be her best friend. She had seen him during one of his lowest moments when Seokjin had left home; and then some time later when he had found Seokjin living in the town Ahreum and Namjoon had recently shifted to, she had stayed by him as he grappled with his anger and frustration towards his older brother until an eventual reconciliation.

But at this moment, she was beginning to lose patience with him. Five minutes before she was about to leave for her meeting, she received a bunch of frantic texts from him.

8.25 am

T: ahreum?? are u up??

T: jimins still in custody

T: im so worried

8.26 am

T: u there?

T: i want to visit him...

T: will u come with me?

8.27 am

T: hey

T: ???

T: i didnt sleep much so i dont wanna drive there

8.28 am

T: are u sleeping?

T: ???

He knew she had a meeting today. He knew how important the meeting was for her. She had spoken about it many times. Not for the first time, Ahreum wondered whether Taehyung cared about her beyond what directly concerned him. If it wasn't somehow relevant to him, he never seemed to remember much. It was a careless apathy that had hurt her during the beginning of their friendship, but she had accepted it as a part of him.

Her meeting was at 9 am and she usually needed 20 minutes to get there on her bike. She closed her eyes and mentally rehearsed the points she was going to bring up during her meeting. Her phone pinged once more, breaking her concentration.

8.30 am

T: hey

T: can u pick me up?

She frowned and shot a quick text before pocketing her phone and strapping on her helmet.

A: sorry have a meeting... talk later

As Ahreum sped through the narrow lanes, she was convinced that there was no way she was going to talk to Taehyung today. He would have to manage on his own for once.

Yuri and Jeon sat across from a very nervous Park Minhyuk, his bloodshot eyes indicating that he had been brought in after a rough night.

"Good morning." Jeon began the interview, his notes stacked neatly in front of him. "You were very hard to get a hold of, Mr. Park. Specifically because your company categorically states that you've been out of the country for business."

"I-" His face was white as a sheet.

"When we called your office, we were told that you are often out of the country on business trips. Short trips," Jeon flipped through his notes. "A fortnight, 20 days at max. Your secretary was very obliging - he told us that you traveled on October 12th and returned on October 27th. Then left the country again on November 1st and returned on November 16th. Another trip between November 22nd and December 6th. And finally, one more on December 10th from which you still haven't returned."

"Your phone records are very interesting, Mr. Park," said Yuri, joining in. "I'm DI Choi, by the way, and I will be assisting DI Jeon as his partner on the case. Now -" she opened the file in front of her and took out a particular page - "is this your cell phone number?"

"Yes, but-"

"Our Telecomms division looked over recent activity over the last 3-4 months. While your office confirms that you have been on multiple trips out of the country from October onwards, your phone has been operating in Korea for almost two months. Can you tell us why?"

Minhyuk remained silent, his hands clenched on the table.

"Do you recognize this?" Yuri placed a plastic bag on the table and moved it towards him.

The remaining color drained from Minhyuk's face as he stared at the ring inside the plastic bag.

"Let me help you out, Mr. Park," she continued. "This is an heirloom from your mother's side of the family. There was three such rings - one buried with your mother, one on your brother's finger, and one found at the scene of Son Eunbi's murder. Can you tell us how your ring found its way to a murder scene?"

"I didn't kill her!" Minhyuk looked like he was going to pass out. Jeon poured some water into a glass and passed it to him.

"She was dead when I got there!" he said after gulping down the water. His hands were shaking by this point.

"If she was dead when you got there, why didn't you call the police?"

"I..."

Faced with a possible murder charge, Minhyuk looked frightened but not nearly as forthcoming with an alibi as one would have hoped.

"Mr. Park," Yuri spoke after a period of silence. "Did you know that Ms. Son had a three year old daughter named Gina?"

Minhyuk gulped, his eyes breaking contact with hers. He removed his hands from where they had been clenched on the table, choosing to hide them in his lap.

"Are you Gina's father?" she continued. Minhyuk head shot up at her question.

"H-how did-"

"When did you find out?" she asked.

Minhyuk sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I guess there's no point in denying it since you know everything." He reached out and finished the remaining water in the glass. "In October, after I came back from a trip, I happened to meet her by chance and Gina was with her. It was odd, the way that she tried to avoid talking to me. And the fact that Gina also had clear grey eyes."

For the first time since the interview started, Yuri realised the resemblance between the Park brothers was limited but striking. Their eyes were the exact same shade of grey - while Jimin looked cold and unwelcoming, Minhyuk's glasses did well to give him a warmer appearance.

"I asked her why she hadn't contacted me when she got pregnant. Or in the three years since Gina was born."

"What did she say?" asked Yuri, softly.

"She was scared that I wouldn't believe her." Tears had started to roll down his cheeks. "I loved her... so much. And then she just disappeared one day. I tried so hard to find her but..."

Jeon poured another glass of water for him.

"I told her how happy I was to hear about Gina. That I wanted us to be a proper family. I was willing to do whatever was necessary if that's what she wanted as well. I think she was beginning to warm up to the idea. I even told my father to postpone my next trip so that I could spend a little more time with both of them. But-"

"But?"

Minhyuk stared at his hands, looking tired and dejected. "He - uh, he wasn't happy when he heard about Gina. My father has very particular expectations."

"What did he say to you? Did he threaten you, Mr. Park?"

Minhyuk let out a soft chuckle. "My father doesn't threaten. He suggests."

"And what did he suggest you do about Gina and Eunbi?" asked Jeon.

"That I stay away from them. For the sake of my inheritance."

"And did you?"

"I was planning to... I-I was meant to travel the next day and I thought I would go and see her once more before I left. But when I got there..."

Minhyuk covered his face with his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.

"What happened when you got there, Mr. Park?"

"She was lying there... in a pool of blood. Gina was asleep in the back. I-I didn't kill her. You have to believe me."

Yuri and Jeon exchanged a quick look as Minhyuk protested his innocence. They were aware that the homeless man had killed Son Eunbi. The DNA found at the crime scene confirmed the fact that he had stabbed her. But they needed Minhyuk to give them as much information as possible.

"I'm afraid we do not conduct our investigations based on belief, Mr. Park," continued Yuri, shuffling her notes meaningfully. "You still haven't provided us with an alibi for that night. Strange thing - the Park family seem to have a particular aversion towards providing alibis. Your brother was also extremely resistant when we spoke to him."

"You spoke to Jimin? What for?" Minhyuk's expression had changed completely. He looked strangely alert.

"I guess you aren't aware that Jimin was arrested for the murder of Kang Eunwoo on December 15th." Jeon spoke deliberately, hoping to elicit a reaction. And he was successful.

"What?! That's impossible! There's no way he could've done that!"

"Why are you so certain of that?"

"Because he was with me on December 15th!"

"I'm sorry but we can't take you at your word. You can't even provide a proper alibi for yourself on the night of Son Eunbi's murder. How can we be sure that the two of you aren't just covering up for each other?"

It was then that Minhyuk realised that he would need to come clean. There was no way to save Jimin without telling them the entire story.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll tell you everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes. If it can help Jimin, I'm willing to risk my father finding out."

Yuri glanced at Jeon who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

"Go on."

"After I saw Eunbi... lying there, I couldn't leave Gina. No matter what my father had said, I couldn't leave my daughter in such a situation. So I... took her away with me."

"Where is Gina now, Mr. Park?" Yuri asked, frowning.

"She's safe."

"Where is she?" asked Jeon, sharply.

"In Busan. I have an apartment there and she's been with me since that day."

"Why didn't you tell the police that you had her? Why does your company believe that you are abroad on a business trip?"

Minhyuk rubbed his eyes tiredly and drank some more water. "I couldn't let my father find out. Jimin and I have an apartment in Busan that we bought under a different name. It was a place our father couldn't find us. Gina's been staying there with me since 2nd November."

"Are you sure your father thinks you're abroad? It doesn't seem like something easy to cover up."

"Jimin helped with that," said Minhyuk, leaning back into the cold metal chair. "He told father that I had run away because he hadn't been understanding of my situation with Gina and Eunbi. Jimin's good at convincing people - it's a talent he's barely ever put to good use."

"So Jimin knew that you were hiding in a secret apartment with your recently discovered daughter?"

"Yes, he did. I have an alibi for 2nd November. I was in a meeting till 9 pm and then stopped for drinks at a nearby fried chicken place till 11 pm. I was a bit tipsy after that, which is why I decided to visit Eunbi and Gina. After taking Gina away from there, I went to Jimin's place, got the keys to the apartment and drove straight there. I think I reached around 2 am."

Yuri jotted down all this information, making a note to check on every new detail that had been mentioned.

"What about December 15th? You said Jimin was with you. Why?" asked Jeon, folding his arms across his chest.

"We meet once a week to make sure everything is going okay," said Minhyuk, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sundays are usually the best days for that."

"Where did you meet?"

"At the local ice-cream shop," Minhyuk frowned, trying to remember something. "You know the one near the end of town?"

"The Dairy Berry? Yes, I know which one you're talking about." Jeon gave Yuri a brief nod to confirm that this was a legitimate spot and not something Minhyuk was making up on the spot.

"Gina loves sweet things and I thought it would be easier to take her with me the same day I met Jimin. I think we were there till 10 pm. After that, I dropped Jimin at a bar and drove back home."

"Which bar was this?" asked Yuri.

"Sunset."

"And you drove straight home after that?"

"You can check the dash cam on my car and the security tapes at my apartment building, if you want."

"We definitely will, Mr. Park," said Jeon, surveying him carefully. "In the meantime, you will be in custody until we have verified each and every single thing you just told us. So I suggest you keep yourself hydrated."

Yuri could feel a pair of eyes on her as she spoke to Jisoo and Suho.

"We need to verify everything that Park Minhyuk told us. But there's a lot of ground to cover and we've lost quite a bit of time since the murder of Son Eunbi. So I suggest you recruit some uniformed officers as well." Jisoo jotted down the locations and the times they needed to verify, and nodded to Suho to indicate she had forwarded the details to him. "We need to get the information as soon as possible."

"Will do," said Suho, giving her a reassuring nod.

Yuri waited for them to leave before walking over to the person who had been watching her for a while.

"Did you want to talk about something?" she asked Seulgi.

"I-" Seulgi tugged at her sleek, high ponytail, looking oddly hesitant. She seemed in a better mood than earlier in the morning when she had almost scared one of the interns into leaving the country. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah- " Yuri checked the clock on her phone - "just a minute though. I'm waiting for Jeon to get a warrant from Goh."

"Did he-? I mean, Jimin, uh... have you...? You know-" It was strange to see her grappling for words. "Are you certain he's done it?"

Yuri stared at her for a second. This wasn't what she had been expecting Seulgi to talk about. The doctor's relationship with Jimin was even more puzzling than she had originally perceived it.

"We're looking into it right now." She paused, trying to gauge Seulgi's reaction. "But you already know about the blood sample match - that, in itself, is pretty damaging."

"Y-yeah, I know."

Before Yuri could say anything more, Jeon came out of the Chief Inspector's office. "We've got a warrant to search Minhyuk's apartment. Let's go."

Glancing one more time at Seulgi's ashen face, Yuri put on her coat and scarf and followed Jeon out the exit.

Once inside Jeon's car, Yuri debated whether or not she should attempt to engage him in conversation. Her decision was made for her when he drove onto the main road, and lowered the volume of the police scanner.

"What was Seulgi saying?" he asked, his eyes focused on the road.

"Just where we were in the investigation."

"I see."

Yuri fiddled with the button on her coat, itching to say more.

"What's the deal with her and Jimin?" she finally asked.

"I- what do you mean?" Jeon raised his eyebrow and gave her the most puzzled expression he could muster while trying to stay focused on the crazy traffic.

"Their relationship is... weird. He keeps flirting with her, and she is on the verge of ripping his guts out at every given moment. But just now, she seemed almost worried about him."

"I don't really know... they've never really seen eye-to-eye on much." Jeon checked the rear view mirror to make sure he was clear before deftly changing lanes. "Jimin has always been the person who tries his utmost to push everyone's buttons. And Seulgi... well, she has a lot of buttons."

Yuri snorted loudly. "That tells me nothing and everything at the same time. You really have a way with words, Jeon."

He smirked at this, his eyes never leaving the road. "So does that mean you trust me now?"

"No." She looked at him and caught the way his face fell slightly at her response. "But who knows what the future holds..."

The smirk was back.

Ahreum had a terrible headache. She usually didn't get many headaches. So on the rare occasion that she did, it put her in a really terrible mood. The only person who knew how to handle this situation properly was Namjoon. He knew that she needed silence, dim lighting, green tea, fresh bread, and absolutely no unexpected company.

So when Ahreum got home after her grueling 3 hour long meeting, hoping to relax and recuperate, she wasn't too pleased to find Taehyung sitting in her living room, playing a very loud game on his tablet.

"You're back!" he yelled, once she slammed the door to make her presence felt. "I've been waiting for hours. How was your meeting?"

"'S okay," she replied, shortly. Taking off her coat, she opened the middle cabinet in the kitchen and searched for the green tea.

"Great! So do you wanna go and visit Jimin now?"

"No."

"What? Why not? You don't have anything else to do right now. Just come with me. Please!" He had walked into the kitchen and was standing in front of her with a pout on his lips.

As endearing as she always found his antics, Ahreum was at breaking point. She placed the cup on the counter with a loud clink, and turned to face him.

"Because I don't have time to follow you on your every whim, Taehyung. Because I have a life of my own. Because I am studying medicine, which, if you aren't aware, is a very taxing occupation." She paused for a breath, as his mouth fell open in shock. "Because I am not your babysitter. Or your handler. Or your caretaker. And I'm tired of being responsible for you. You're a grown ass adult and it's about time you acted like one."

"Ahreum, I'm-" His eyes were wide and worried, and she felt a tiny sliver of remorse. "I don't think you're my babysitter or handler or whatever. You're my best friend."

"I thought so too. In fact," she said, looking away from him. "I thought we were, or we could be, more."

"W-what? Ahreum?" Taehyung sounded so lost and confused that she was tempted to console him.

She walked to the front door and held it open for him. "I think you should leave now. I'm tired, I have a headache, and I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"Wait! What did you mean by that?" he asked, hesitantly standing at the entrance.

"I'm tired, Taehyung. I don't have the energy to explain everything to you. Now, please," she began closing the door slowly. "I want to rest."

"It's clear!" The uniformed officer confirmed to them, before opening the door further.

"Okay, let's see whether little Gina is here," instructed Jeon, his face drawn into a frown.

Yuri nodded and walked into the room on the left of the large living area. It was a study of sorts, with a large wooden desk, a swiveling chair, and shelves upon shelves of books. She quickly checked to see if there was anyone in the room before shouting "clear!". There was another door connecting to a smaller room, it's walls bathed in bright sunlight and smelling of soft lavender. This was clearly some sort of guest room, judging by the inconsistent decor theme. The furniture looked sleek and modern, but the sheets on the bed were soft and pastel colored. A bunch of soft toys stood leaning against the flat screen tv, and Yuri realised that this was probably the room that had been hastily fixed up for a small child's unexpected stay. And sure enough, soft strands of brown hair peaked through the large covers on the bed.

She walked over to the bed slowly, not wanting to startle the child. Yuri barely managed to stifle a gasp as she looked into the child's clear grey eyes - the same color as both Park Minhyuk and Park Jimin.

"Hello," she said, softly. "Are you Gina?"

The little girl nodded, bringing the covers closer towards her.

"I'm a police officer. I help catch bad people." She didn't respond, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Do you want to go to your dad, Gina?" She nodded vigorously, sitting up at the mention of her father. "Okay, we will. But first, tell me, are you okay? Do you feel pain anywhere?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Are you sleepy?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Are you hungry?"

Slowly, she nodded her head.

"Okay, we'll go and see your dad, and also get you something to eat. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful."

It was just after 2 pm and Yuri felt completely drained. After they had found Gina, she had insisted on returning to the station to ask Jimin about his alibi for the night of Kang Eunwoo's murder. From what she had understood, he had refused to provide an alibi to protect his brother and keep him out of the police's radar until the situation with Gina worked out. Even though she still couldn't get herself to consider him a pleasant person, his desire to protect his brother had humanized him a great deal in her eyes.

Sure enough, once he was made aware that Minhyuk had come forward and spoken about his daughter and the events of the past month and a half, Jimin looked much less hostile than before.

"I was at Sunset from around 10.30 pm to closing time - which is 2 am," he said, sighing tiredly and rubbing his face with his hands. "You can confirm with them."

While Minhyuk and Jimin's alibis were verified, Yuri received a text from Namjoon, asking her and Jeon to meet him at Seokjin's bakery. It was barely a 2 minute drive there, so Jeon suggested they get lunch over there and make it before Goh finished compiling the list of paperwork for them to finish.

The smell of freshly baked milk bread wafted out of the kitchen, adding another layer of warmth to Seokjin's cozy shop. The man in question picked up the large tray filled with various different confections, and brought it over to the table by the window.

"Peach danish and americano for Namjoon, chocolate fudge brownie and vanilla bean ice cream for Jeongguk, and a snow croissant and hot chocolate for Yuri." He placed everything on the table, before grabbing his lukewarm cup of tea and sitting down with them.

"So you finally find the child, then?" asked Seokjin, sipping the tea. He made a face at the odd taste that tea acquires when it's between comfortingly steamy and soothingly chilled.

"Yeah we did," Yuri replied, when her partner remained silent. "Goh is dealing with Minhyuk and the custody charges. It's no longer in our jurisdiction."

"Namjoon, how's grad school treating you?" Seokjin diverted the conversation, realising that his friend wasn't ready to talk about the case at that moment. "How much longer do you have?"

"A few more months and I should be done." Namjoon wiped the pastry flakes from the corner of his mouth and nearly tipped over his americano in the process. Yuri chuckled at this, suddenly remembering those random moments in high school where Namjoon was a lot thinner and less confident, but still had a propensity for knocking things over.

"Remind me why you're putting yourself through this?" Seokjin broke off a piece of the peach danish and popped it into his mouth.

"The last time I tried to explain that, you spaced out and created a new pastry recipe for your menu. As much as I like helping your business flourish, I'm gonna preserve my energy and only talk about things when necessary."

Seokjin chuckled and picked up a spoon from the dispenser. "Jeongguk, can I get a bit of ice cream from you?" There was no response, and looking at him for confirmation Seokjin's eyebrows shot up in alarm.

"Okay okay, I won't eat any of your ice cream. You don't have to tear up about it!"

Yuri and Namjoon turned towards him as well, not sure what to do when they saw tears slowly sliding down Jeongguk's cheeks.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Namjoon, patting his shoulder softly.

They sat in silence, as Jeongguk sobbed softly and wiped his face with his coat sleeve. He turned towards Yuri, his eyes glazed with tears but holding a soft radiance unlike what she was used to.

"Thank you."

Yuri felt her face heat up suddenly. This wasn't what she had been expecting. The soft sincerity in his voice startled her. It was nothing like the person she had met only a week ago. She looked away abruptly and nodded her head.

"There's nothing to thank me for. This is our job."

Jeongguk smiled and resumed eating the disgustingly sweet dessert combination in front of him. He nudged Seokjin to take some ice cream like he had originally intended. There was silence once more, but this time, it was very different.

Back at the station, Yuri finished the paperwork for the day. There was a lot to complete, and since they had stopped at Seokjin's for a break, they had lost some time as well. Goh had been very clear about completing all the paperwork for social services to take over the case from them now that Gina had been found.

It was barely even 5 pm but Yuri felt a large yawn coming on for the third time in the past few minutes. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to carry on without getting proper sleep at night. At this rate, she would eventually burn out. There was only so much coffee could do for her.

A light tap brought her attention to another person standing in her cubicle. She looked up to see Jeon holding two steaming cups of ramen, tilting his head slightly to confirm whether it was okay for him to sit down.

"Did you need anything?" she asked, after moving her slightly. He placed the ramen on her desk and pulled up his own chair and sat down.

"I've got a peace offering," he gestured to the ramen. "I wanted to apologize properly for being an absolute dickhead to you. I-" He hesitated, looking down at his hands that lay clenched on his lap - "I don't really have an excuse for my behavior but I had a lot on my mind. Particularly about finding the little girl. And, well... you really don't know what solving this case means to me."

Once again, Yuri wasn't sure how to react. She felt embarrassed that he was thanking her for doing her job - something that he did as well. While she appreciated his apology, his entire being remained confusing to her.

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "And thanks for the ramen; food is always appreciated."

Thankfully, her computer ping-ed with a new email before the atmosphere could get any more awkward.

"Okay, we've confirmed Minhyuk's alibi's for 2nd November and 15th December. He wasn't involved in either murder. Jimin was with Minhyuk till 10.15 pm on 15th December - his car's dash cam confirms that he dropped Jimin off at Sunset bar around that time."

"Fantastic! And what about the CCTV footage at Sunset? Does it confirm Jimin's story? He said he was there till 2 am."

"Hang on, I'm opening the report. Th-" she stopped abruptly, frowning at the screen.

"What?" asked Jeon, looking over her shoulder to read the email.

"CCTV footage does not place Jimin at Sunset from 10.15 pm till closing time at 2 in the morning. He doesn't have an alibi for Eunwoo's murder."

She turned to look at him, an odd sense of foreboding hitting her as she realized that they would have to charge Jimin for murder by the next evening. He held her gaze, his dark eyes reflecting a similar shadow of doubt.

please reblog and leave a comment if you liked this part! thank you! 😊 

[between-two-fandoms]

Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy  let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas​. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to  party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so,  and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been.  Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

[omegawolverine]

1, 8 for the writing asks?

1) Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

okay so ig i have four current projects rn? technically more but i only really count em if i plan on posting the wip soon or they're chaptered fics ig 🤷‍♀️ if its apart of a series of mine then really i dont call it current unless ive already started a draft for the next part, i sideline my series' constantly bc most of the fics are fine to read by themselves anyways uhmmm lol moving on, a mini run down of my current projects:

mellodramattic fic: chaptered piece about mello and matt's relationship thru the years, probably gonna turn it into a series once i finish the main piece bc there's definetly ideas i wanna include that I probably cant in the main story. progress on it is fine ig, I have the next chapter mostly drafted (by hand, i need to type it still) i just update really slow bc it's an old hyperfixation of mine so i really only get bursts of motivation for it every like 3-5 months, sometimes longer. i just really enjoy writing this one bc i can basically make up whatever i want about the characters bc there is very little actual canon material for them and, as a matt kinnie, i have a very specific vision of their lives that ive always wanted to e riu te about and i finally started doing that with this fic. there's a few chapters on ao3 rn, but they arent stellar bc it's old writing lmao. ill link it (and any of these other fics i mention) if anyone asks

bnha chat fic: a mess, has 16 chapters rn, it's a lot of chaos ft a side of me projecting. it has slow updates now bc im out of my bnha hyperfixation, but i still love writing this fic, even if i regret some of my past writing decisions with it. next 2 chapters are half drafted, but idk when ill actually get em out. it's been 8 months since i last updated anyways, so whatever. one of the chapters is chat, the other is actual writing bc ig this fic is technically like a combination of chat and regular fic, but it's mostly chat so 🤷‍♀️

karlnapity wip: i started this fic 6 months ago and just recently started working on it again?? i plan to upload it in the near future but also idk if that will actually happen bc im not actually invested in either karl or sapnaps lore which makes me very uninvested in writing this fic lmao. the wip is kinda banger tho imo, very angsty but it has comfort so its okay.

it chat fic: i know vaguely what i wanna do with the next chapter but i havent uploaded for this bitch in so long its criminal. it's literally just a modern au losers club chat fic, everybody's gay, streddie are in love and that's really the only reason im writing it, plus i made stozier have tiktok clout which i think is too funny of an idea to drop, sue me. also it's a stranger things crossover, but only bc i wanted to make richie and mike twins bc i read a different crossover fic that did the same thing right before writing this and i was brainrotting the fic too hard not to include this twin shit in my own. im unoriginal, what can i say.

8) Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

generally, yes, though i think i write more angst than i tend to read? i wouldnt call myself an angst writer at all, but i tend to project and i really like writing emotional spirals or trauma related stuff bc ooooh coping mechanisms babey but it's always paired with comfort whether its immediate or eventual. i also write more chat fics than i read, mostly bc it's a good way for me to write about a hyperfixation without actually having to have good ideas or be very dedicated to the piece, especially bc i hate not finishing chaptered fics, but i tend to do it a lot when i lose a hyperfixation (for example, i have had a 1/? fic in my works for like a year, maybe two, now all bc i stopped hyperfixating on bnha like a week or two after that, and bc it was Real Writing i havent had the energy to update it, meanwhile ive updated the bnha chat fic a few times since losing that hyperfixation bc it's very low effort content) idk i think most of it's the same typa content in the end tho