#im planning on getting so fucking high tomorrow night

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

Dating King Ben Would Include…

Holy shit,

This is a lot.

Def NSFW

Warnings: sex, language, not proofed, I’m a slut

- r u actually kidding this man

- Idek where to start

- How about this

VK

- the moment he lays eyes on you

- Fuck

- When he smiles at you for the first time???

- Bye.

- Falling for the king-to-be was NOT part of the plan

- But he’s so goddamn cute

- You slip into the stands at his tourney game

- He makes a great play and you let out a cheer

- Surprising everyone around

- And he just grins at you

- There’s a party that night

- You show up in your most flattering dress

- And Ben cannot take his eyes off of you

- (The beast inside is awakening)

- He asks you to dance

- his big hands fit on your waist so perfectly

- Your hands loop around his neck and your fingers play with his hair absentmindedly

- You’re so nervous

- He pulls you closer to him and whispers into your ear

- “Relax.”

- Hello???

- He’s so in love with you UGHHHHAGGGA

- not following plot anymore screw it

- “You coming to the game tomorrow?”

- “Why should I?”

- “I can think of a pretty good reason.”

- SHAMELESSLY FLIRTS WITH YOU

- “If we win, I get to take you out on a date”

- “And if you lose?”

- “We won’t.”

- Ben fucking winks at you and just

- Up and leaves

- Someone take the confidence juice away from him!

- You go see another one of his games and after he wins, he runs up to you, sweaty and grinning, gorgeous as ever

- Before you say anything

- His head dips down to your ear, hands slipping around your waist

- “My car is waiting for you. I’ll be there soon”

- The mf had no fucking doubts that they’d win

- He gives you another million dollar smile before jogging away

- Leaving you flushed and a little turned on?????

- The date is absolutely wonderful.

- He changes ur perspective on everything

- Makes you his queen eventually

AK

- He’s such a gentleman omg omg

- PRINCESS TREATMENT OMFG

- Opening doors for you!!!

- Pulls out your chair for you!!!

- Ur a cheerleader

- He’s def the kinda bf to score and point at you like

- “Scored that for you, baby!”

- You wanna roll your eyes but can’t bc of his damn smile

- Don’t even get Ben started on your fucking uniform

- He’s down bad fr fr

- You in the colors of his kingdom??? HELLO?!

- He’s gone

- Such a fan of public PDA

- will kiss you ANYWHERE

- seriously

- Always has to be touching you

- The beast in him tbh ur his

SEX

- everything this guy does is

- Always turning you on fr

- At the worst times too

- He’ll just look at you and give you the smile he only does while balls deep inside of you while at dinner with his parents

- And he knows it too

- The way you blush and look away?

- He KNOWS

- Please he gets weak in the knees when you say his name/title

- “Benjamin”

- “King Ben”

- “King Benjamin”

- “Your Majesty”

- Bye

- I imagine that he’s so sweet at first but you can tell that he’s holding back (beast boy HELLO?!)

- You have to convince him to finally just let it out

- What does that entail?

- Let’s make a list!!

- Scratch marks on your thighs

- So so many hickeys (he doesn’t fucking care who sees, he’s the king)

- Finger print bruises on your waist and hips

- BITE MARKS

- shit

- This man has a heightened sense of smell

- So like… beware

- Low key high key loves the way you smell

- Will not stop sucking and biting on your neck bc of it

- BEN IS A DOM IM SORRY NOT SORRY

- it’s such a stress relief for him!

- Seriously as king he needs to release his stress somehow

- You luv when he’s rough with you

- A full on Edward Cullen breaking the bed moment and he’s scared to even touch you

- And ur like “Ben do it again”

- He’s all 😮 “wut”

- “Please?”

- And bam thinking with his dick again

- You love it when he fucks you in his office

- In between meetings

- When anyone can walk in

- “Don’t want everyone in the castle to hear your dirty sounds, now do we?”

- BEN IM SORRY

- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP QUIET WHEN UR LITERALLY REARRANGING MY INSIDES ON YOUR DESK

- Riding him while he’s in his desk chair

- The staff is quite confused when he asks for a mirror to be hung as a decoration on the opposite side of his desk

- It’s so you two can watch obvi but they don’t know that

- OMG the two of you at formal events and he cannot keep his hands off of you

- The things he whispers in your ear my GOD

- looks like the two of you are just innocently dancing but if they really knew the dirty things he was saying to you

- “What would everyone think if they knew how turned on you are right now?”

- “You taste better than all the food here.”

- Like r u kidding me he’s the dirtiest guy

- MASSIVE DICK ENGERY

- Its unfair

- Him pulling you out of the ballroom to absolutely ravish you with his parents and subjects a wall away

- Him just fucking you while wearing his crown omg (cant stop thinking about this)

- He’s so needy all the fucking time

- Anyways back to office sex

- It’s his fav

- Literally you’ll be on his lap and he’s fucking up into you and he will get a phone call

- Motherfucker GRINS at you

- “don’t make a sound”

- And then ANSWERS IT.

- KEEPS FUCKING YOU THROUGH THE PHONE CALL

- NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS

- Oh and def makes you keep eye contact with him the whole time with his hand on your throat

- Ben with a beard????

- Between your thighs??

- With the fucking fangs?????????

- DEAD

- DECEASED

- BYE

- GONE

- Is always down to eat u out

- Such a golden retriever bf about it

- Def fingers you in the car

- If ur driving??

- “Eyes on the road”

- 💀

- If he’s gone?

- You best BELIEVE he’s calling for phone sex

- “C’mon let me hear you. You sound so pretty when you’re desperate for me.”

- Soft mean Dom soft mean Dom

- Will hop in the shower with you just so he can wash your body

- Also makes you come with the shower head

- Loves boobies

- Loves ass

- He can’t decide which he likes more

- Loves making you watch what he’s doing

- If he’s going down on you?

- Eyes on him at all times

- Fingering you?

- You better be watching it

- That’s why the mirror comes in handy

- When you lock eyes through the mirror?

- His crown is lopsided and he’s just

- He’s just

- You know

- FUCKING KING BENJAMIN

- And he’s always smiling at you

- He knows what that smile does to you

- Uses it to his advantage

- He knows he’s pretty

- He loves waking up before you after a long night of straight up fucking

- He sees the damage done

- By him

- And it just gets him going!

- You wake up with his head between your thighs

- “Morning”

- It was in fact a good morning

- his morning voice adds to it

- You loooooove to tease him

- Low key flirting with another guy, if it’s fucking Chad you better get prepared

- Wearing an outfit you know he loves in a public place when he’s with his parents doing his king duties

- Putting your hand on his inner thigh during a meeting

- I hope you know what you’re getting into!!!

- He storms into his room that night where you happen to be lying on the bed, oh so innocently

- Wearing his jersey or a button up of his

- You don’t bother looking at him, already trying to hide the smirk on your face

- You can feel the glare as he shrugs off his suit jacket

- And removes his tie

- And loosens his collar

- And pushes his sleeves up

- (your favorite Ben look)

- He knows this ofc

- Sets his hands flat on the bed and just stares at you

- Finally you look up, a giggle escaping immediately

- “You think it’s funny, do you?”

- His hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you towards him

- His knee settles between your legs as he leans over you

- “Answer your King when he speaks to you”

- “Yes, your majesty”

- His head drops back and something (THE FUCKING BEAST) ignites inside of him

- He laughs

- Not like his true laugh

- A dark, sinister laugh

- Coming from Ben?

- Noble, brave, and good Ben?

- When he’s about to fuck you into oblivion?

- Good. Fucking. Bye.

- What’s Bennyboo up for??

- So much

- He’s horny ALL THE TIME

- highest sex drive ever

- Esp with the fucking beast

- He can go for hours

- King (lol) of stamina

- “You can do it baby”

- “C’mon, one more for me”

- “Fuck you’re doing so well”

- “Good. So so good”

- He’s loud as FUCK

- not embarrassed about it all

- No fucks given

- Will walk out of his office he was just bending you over in to greet his father in the next room like MAN ISN’T PHASED AT ALL

- And you’re catching your breath like 😳😳😳

- On one hand, he’s so nice and genuine and so well mannered

- And then when it comes to you, he’s a cocky little shit who can’t keep it in his pants

[antiwhores]

hear me out - being with newly appointed pro hero bakugou and finding out he's a virgin, slowly introducing him into new things and him, the big bad and scary kastuki bakugou, being a whiny baby in bed 👀

could be a series, could be a drabble, I'm just putting my ideas on the table yk 🤷🏽‍♀️

(just read this over, and it's so vague and not descriptive 💀 clearly there's a reason I don't write myself but anywaysss)

You’re so real for this.

He confesses to his virginity one night during patrol - on accident of course. You’re his sidekick, maybe a little higher in rank then him. You LOVE to tease him. People call you crazy for it since hes always so close to blasting you to hell but you dont care. The angry flush on his face always does it for you.

“You probably pay for prostitutes all the time Bakugou!” He clicks his tongue dismissively at you, “The hell I do.” “Just admit you’re a devious pervert! I already know! You wanna know how I know? The way you stare at me when I-“ “IM A VIRGIN. THERE ARE NO PROSTITUTES.”

Big mistake on his part, the teasing gets worse. Who knew that the great Dynamite would let his secretary bully him?

“Hey Dynamite, ‘bet you haven’t even kissed anyone yet, huh?” You blurt one day through a giggle. These files were getting boring and having to sit in silence for too long made you antsy. He mumbled something under his breath before continuing to highlight passages through his reading glasses.

You questioned him but he ignored you. You hated being ignored.

You got up and walked over to him, spinning his chair towards you and supporting yourself on his thighs. “Am I right then?” You cooed, inches before his face. He groaned, “Do your fucking work and leave me alone before I fire your ass.”

Your face immediately lights up, “Oh my god! You haven’t!” A red bush infects his cheeks when he looks away. He looks embarrassed and humiliated and you start to feel bad. “Shut the fuck up, I have before.”

You wrap yours arms around his neck and pull him in to your chest. “Its okay~.” And in the split of a second, without even thinking, you connect your lips to his. It was quick, just a small peck.

But Bakugou was HOOKED. his face was blushed and his breathing was picking up.

He would never admit this but he does have a thing for you. He thinks about you a lot. A LOT. In ways that he shouldn’t whilst being your boss. He finds himself at night thinking about all of your words. Your teases and your lingering touches.

He thinks that you brainwashed him, you’re definitely lying about your quirk. Your quirk has to be a love plague type.

Thats why he grabbed your face and shoved his tongue in your mouth. Thats also why he shoved you on his lap and held you there just so he could hump you like a feral bunny until he came all over himself.

Its also why he’s texting you at 2 am with his cock in his hand.

Katsuki: Oi

Y/n: Whats up, boss?

How is he supposed to ask to fuck you? But not right away? But he still wants to touch and fuck you? Also he wants nudes.

This is too confusing.

Y/n: Your dick is probably in your hand right now. Isn’t it?

He’s adding telepathy to you quirk file tomorrow.

Y/n: I’ll help you out. *one attachment*

You sent a picture of your bare, soapy titties. He didn’t think that he could get harder in his hands. His slow and sensual strokes turned hard and fast until he came on himself for the second time today.

Damn it, you were going to be the end of him.

After last night, you both would meet up. It was never planned but always just whenever he would drag you into an enclosed space with a huge hard on.

“Fuck, can you… can we…” You had to squint to see his expression through the darkness of the closet. He was red from the neck to the ears and he breathed in deep, unsteady breaths.

You had already jerked him off once today. He was whining, gripping his desk so hard that it started to chip when he was closed to his high.

“Hmm, I don’t think you’re ready.” You cooed.

He balled up his fists and clenched his teeth at that. “Im not a fucking teenager.” “Yeah well you cum like one.”

Before he could rebuttal you got on your knees. He immediately closed his mouth as you began to unbuckle his belt. “Ill give you something close to it since I’m so nice.”

You whip out his cock so fast his breath hitches. He’s a lot bigger than you’ve ever taken before. You look down to hide the intimidated smile.

He was puddy in your hands as soon as you took the first lap up his cock. You felt his hands tangle in your hair when you finally went down. A moan slipped out before he could catch it when you deep throated him.

Up and down, up and down. His moans got more and more verbal until he started to speak.

“Fuck…. Tellin’ me I can’t fuck you, i- haah- can handle it.”

You panties felt soaked from the dirty words turned insults dropping from his lips. “Fuckin’ tease.” “This is the only thing- haah- you’re good for.”

You could tell he was close; his cock constricted and his knees started to buckle. Suddenly, he grabbed your head and started to face fuck you. All you could do was grab onto his thighs like your life depended on it until he was done.

He moaned loud and long before coming in heavy ropes down your throat. His whole body shook and his eyes rolled back into his head. “Fuuuuuck.”

He refused to move until you swallowed all of his cum. You went into a coughing fit as soon as he freed you from his fat cock.

He bent down and looked you in your clouded eyes. His face flushed and panting, “Thanks.” He uttered awkwardly.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 9

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 8

part 10

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(Name)’s friend had a small cabin near the beach she’d offered to loan her for a few days. From Tuesday to Thursday, they’d be staying in a few towns over to enjoy the beach.

When they arrived home, Leorio left to go and start packing his stuff. They had a few days before the cabin would be available, so they had plenty of time to plan.

“Everyone get to bed! We’re going to be having a down day tomorrow, and Monday we’re going shopping for beach supplies.”

Killua nodded as he rubbed at his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Come on, Gon.”

The two leave to their rooms.

(Name) sighs before crashing onto the couch, not even knowing the skirt of her dress was lifted just enough to expose the pink panties she’d worn to the Barbie movie.

Kurapika didn’t notice at first either, he was too busy pulling off his shirt. That was until her back arched and cracked a bit, causing her to groan and him to look over to make sure she was okay.

He didn’t think this day could get any better, but the view he saw certainly… did something for him.

Her butt was firmly in the air, her clothed pussy on full display. Her cute thigh highs squished her thighs perfectly, creating a sight he thought he could only see in heaven.

‘I want to…’

He stopped himself before he even finished that thought, moving away from the couch and towards his room.

“Going to bed, goodnight.”

“Night…”

He heard her whine slightly as she stretched before he rushed to his room. He barely got the door closed before he was slipping his hand into his pants, panting as he stroked his cock. The door was still slightly cracked open, and he realized if he peeked out, he could still see her cute butt poking up into the air.

‘This is… dirty.’

But he couldn’t stop looking. She just looked so perfect on display, all for him to enjoy.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck…’

She whimpered out, rubbing her back lightly. It must if hurt from carrying around those big boobs all day.

“Kurapika…”

He stopped, eyes going wide. Did she happen to see him? That couldn’t be possible, she was facing in the opposite direction.

“Did he go to bed already?”

She pushed herself off of the couch, moving so her butt was pushed in his direction, her panties moving to the side ever so slightly.

It was enough to make him cum instantly, gasping as he painted the door.

“Kurapika?” she called out again, this time beginning to turn towards his door.

He slipped his hand from his pants and ran over to his desk, grabbing a tissue she’d supplied for him and moving to wipe off the door.

“Hey, are you asleep?”

She knocked on the cracked door, causing it to open up. Thankfully he’d wiped the door clean before she opened it, holding the tissue in his hand relived.

“No, I’m awake. Do you need something?”

His cheeks were still flushed and his limbs weak from his orgasm seconds before. Kurapika felt soft, his eyelashes fluttering when she bent slightly to smile at him.

“Can you unzip me? Leorio was going to, but he forgot and now he’s gone.”

Kurapika wanted to bang his head against the wall. “… yes, of course I can.”

He followed her up to her room, now noticing how easy it was to see her underwear when he was following right behind her.

“Ugh my back is killing me! I knew wearing a bra without any support was a bad idea… but this dress is strapless.”

Kurapika was not listening to a goddamn thing. He was too focused on her cute ass. “Uh huh.”

They walked into her room. She instantly kicked off her Mary Janes and lifted her leg onto the bed to pull off her thigh highs.

‘She’s going to kill me.’

He watched as she pulled the first one down before he had to turn to avoid getting hard again. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her, especially after spying on her like a perv minutes before.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

She turned his way, her back to him. He stepped forward and stared down at her back.

‘It’s just her back. Don’t you DARE get hard over her back you fucking idiot.’

He pulled the zipper down.

‘God fucking damn it.’

The sight of her bra made him grow hard yet again, and there was no hiding it in these jeans. He pulled the zipper the rest of the way down before turning.

“You’re going so soon?”

He paused in the doorway, gritting his teeth. All Kurapika wanted to do was go to his room, jerk off, and pass out.

But the innocent tone in her voice made him sigh.

“Do you need me to stay?”

“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to watch a movie with me. Since it was… interrupted last time.”

Ouch. He’d forgotten he’d pretty much abandoned her a week or so ago to find a member of the phantom troupe. She’d stayed up all night waiting for him, and he couldn’t even call to ease her worries.

Usually, Kurapika would push these guilty feelings away and just sleep, but after his orgasm he was feeling… soft. Easily mailable by her hands.

“… sure. You get changed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Kurapika internally groaned, looking down at himself with a sigh. ‘I’ll change into some baggy pajama pants. Should… hide it…’

———————

(Name) walked downstairs wearing a nightgown and a green face mask. He wanted to tease her for it, saying she looked silly, but knew if he did she’d have plenty of ammo to throw back at him.

“Imma pop some popcorn! We gotta eat quietly though. Just the smell is enough to wake up Gon…”

She sighed, and pulled the popcorn from the cabinet. Kurapika was curled up on the couch, a blanket covering his form. “Shouldn’t we just not eat it then?”

“Nah, if he wakes up I’ll just give him some horse tranquilizer.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s like a melatonin gummy for him.”

The blonde stared at the TV. ‘What the hell is wrong with that boy?’

Kurapika huffed when she sat the bowl of popcorn in his lap. “It’s hot! I’m gonna grab us some lemonade!”

He popped a few pieces into his mouth. ‘Mmm… I haven’t had popcorn in years.’

(Name) plopped down next to him, curling her legs against the side of the couch. She leaned until her head was comfortably against Kurapika’s shoulder.

Usually he would have pushed her off subtly or moved away, but right now he was feeling… cuddly.

Although he didn’t move to hold her close, he did allow her to stay.

“What do you want to watch? I’m thinking a ghibli movie.”

“I don’t care, you can pick.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but picked a random ghibli movie.

It happened to be Howl’s Moving Castle.

“Oooh, this is a good one. I think you’ll like it!”

Kurapika only nodded, leaning his head against hers. It was the only contact he’d allow himself to make.

The movie started, Kurapika barely able to pay attention. He was too focused on (Name)’s soft scent and comforting warmth.

A few minutes in, he felt (Name) pull away slightly. She seemed excited, bouncing in her seat.

“Ahh, it’s Howl.”

Her eyes almost twinkled when a blonde man appeared on screen, offering a hand to the main female character. Kurapika hadn’t bothered to learn her name.

The man looked… awfully familiar. His blonde hair, soft feminine appearance, and pretty eyes made Kurapika tilt his head.

“Is that… your favorite character?”

She nodded, her eyes never leaving the blonde haired man.

“He’s been my favorite ghibli character for years.”

Kurapika smiled. “I see.”

‘She did say my butt was cute earlier… and that she likes my hair…’

The movie continued on, (Name) occasionally gasping or cooing at the screen. “Hehe, look! Aren’t they just the cutest?”

The girl on screen reminded him of her. She was a bit insecure, but to everyone else but her she was beautiful.

“Yes. They are.”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She looked gorgeous, even in the low light of the living room.

She caught him staring, sending him a wink. “Pay attention to the movie, sweetheart.”

Kurapika blushed. She wasn’t usually the type to confront him about his staring, even though he was sure she could notice it. (Name) was a hunter after all, she couldn’t be that oblivious.

“Ah… it’s almost over.”

She seemed a little sad at this. Kurapika wasn’t sure if it was because she really liked the movie, or their time together would end soon.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew (Name) cared for him quite a bit, even being told by Leorio she had a crush on him during the Hunter Exam. Of course, at the time that made him beyond happy. Kurapika didn’t know why exactly, but knowing she liked him more than the others made his heart soar.

But now, that knowledge didn’t fill him with butterflies, it filled him with dread. Had he broken her heart with what he said during York New? Had he ruined any chances he’d had with her?

‘Ruined any… what am I thinking?’

He shook the thought from his head. Kurapika couldn’t dare to think like that. She was his dear friend, someone that needed to be protected.

Protected from the danger being around him could bring.

She sighed as the end credits rolled, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. “Did you like it?”

He wasn’t sure how to tell her he’d barely paid any attention to the movie on screen, much to busy thinking about her, so he just nodded.

“I’m glad. I’m… happy I got to spend this time with you.”

She held onto his hand, a sad smile on her lips. He wanted to cup her cheeks and wipe that sad smile away more than anything.

But did he really have the right to when he was the reason for her sadness?

Kurapika patted her head. “I did too. We should get going to bed, though.”

(Name) but her lip, staring down at her lap.

“Kurapika?”

He paused. She sounded soft, vulnerable. He didn’t often hear that in her voice.

“Yes?”

Her eyes met his, the beginnings of tears tucked away in the corners.

“Will I… will I ever seen you again after you leave?”

A stab in the chest would have been easier to handle than that question. Kurapika stuttered, his eyes looking away from hers.

“I…”

He couldn’t answer her, not when his answer would only make her cry. Kurapika hated seeing her tears.

“…”

(Name) pulled away from him, hugging herself tight. It hurt him to see her so small, like she could shrink into nothing at any second.

“You’re really important to me, you know? Even if… even if you hate me. I…”

Tears began to fall down her cheeks, collecting on the throw blanket they’d been sharing.

“(Name)…”

He reached out to wipe away her tears, but stopped midway.

“I don’t…”

“I can’t stand you! You’re weak, you can’t do anything right!”

Kurapika pulled his hand back and held it against his chest. ‘Do I have the right to comfort her when I said such awful things?’

“(Name)?”

Killua poked his head out of his bedroom door, his blue eyes scanning the room until they landed on (Name). He ran forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I heard you from my room…”

Killua sent a glare Kurapika’s way before pulling her off the couch and towards the bathroom. “You need to wash off that face mask before you break out.”

She only nodded, glancing back at Kurapika before the bathroom door closed behind her.

The blonde stared at the closed door, clutching the fabric of his shirt so tightly it ripped.

‘She thinks I hate her… maybe it’s for the best.’

Kurapika stood, walking towards the TV to turn it off. On a table by the TV was a framed photo, Kurapika’s eyes widening when he took a closer look.

It was a picture of the entire group chatting about their plan in the hotel during York New.

‘Did (Name) take this?’

She wasn’t in the picture, Kurapika feeling a little disappointed. But that was quickly changed when he saw there were several photos of various members of the group framed, some of just him alone.

‘She… she put these up even after what happened…’

Kurapika bit his lip so hard it bled. She wanted to remember him when he was smiling, looking at her with those soft eyes he always seemed to have when she was around.

“…”

Kurapika walked to his room and closed the door behind him.

———————

(Name) and Killua sat at the kitchen table, Gon fixing himself a bowl of cereal by the fridge.

“Remember boys, todays a rest day, so no getting into any trouble.”

She sipped on her coffee, looking around the house. It was a mess, meaning she’d need to clean before she even thought about leaving for the beach.

Kurapika left his room, wandering into the kitchen while rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Good morning…”

He yawned into his hand as he made himself a cup of coffee then sat down at the table next to (Name). “Good morning, Kurapika.”

She gave him a smile, before standing up and taking her cup with her upstairs. “We’ll all be resting today, Kurapika. Of course, you can do what you want, but the rest of us are going to catch up on some sleep and indulge in our interests.”

He nodded, still waking up as she left for her room. Once she was out of earshot, Killua scoffed.

“You sure fucked up last night. Do you enjoy making (Name) cry?”

Oh, Kurapika and forgotten about last night’s events. And he’d just sat down next to her like nothing had happened.

“… I didn’t mean to make her cry.”

“You never do.”

Gon sat down with them at the table, munching on his cereal. “Hmm? What were y’all talking about?”

Killua sighed. “Nothing of importance to Kurapika, apparently.”

Kurapika finished his coffee in silence. ‘Less than a week I’ll be gone and out of her hair. She’ll… she’ll forget about me eventually.’

But the thought of her forgetting about him and moving on with a different man made him feel sick.

“Kurapika, you should come to the creek with us today! We’re releasing the fish we saved last week.”

Kurapika tilted his head. “You want me to come with you?”

Gon nodded. “Yeah, it would be fun! We could even have a picnic! (Name) always packs us lunches when we go out to the creek all day.”

Killua groaned. “But Gon, going to the creek is our thing!”

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “I have my own things to do today.”

“Like what?”

Kurapika scowled. “I have phone calls to make.”

“What kind of phone calls?”

“… important ones.”

Gon tilted his head, and Killua sighed. “There are no phone calls, are there?”

Kurapika stayed quiet.

“Alright, so he’s coming with us then!”

It seemed like Kurapika didn’t have much of a choice, so he downed his coffee and left to get dressed.

——————

(Name) began packing the three lunches in the kitchen. Gon and Killua had left to grab some buckets from the garage, leaving Kurapika and (Name) alone.

He lingered in the kitchen, watching her from a distance. She finished packing their lunches before turning to him with a shy smile.

“Hey um… about last night…”

Kurapika froze in his spot, nearly dropping his cup of coffee.

“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you those questions. You don’t have to tell me anything, and I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Kurapika blinked. ‘Is she… is she apologizing? No…’

“Even if you… hate me… I won’t hold it against you, you’re still always welcome here.”

‘Stop. Don’t say those things. Don’t.’

“So… just forget about what I said. Let’s just enjoy whatever time we have together!”

She gave him a final smile before the front door opened. Killua and Gon walked in carrying buckets.

“It’s show time. Kurapika, I hope you know how to work a pole.”

“A what!?”

“A fishing pole.”

(Name) held a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Kurapika just sighed and followed them out the door, carrying their packed lunches with them.

“Make sure you keep up, we will leave you behind.”

“Killua! No we won’t, that isn’t nice.”

Kurapika didn’t respond, only focusing on memorizing the route to the creek. If Killua did end up leaving him behind, he’d have no trouble finding his way back.

They arrived at the creek, Gon and Killua instantly releasing the fish they’d saved last week.

“During a few weeks in the summer, the creek goes down and a lot of the fish die. Me and Killua will catch as many as we can then release them when the creek is full again.”

‘That sounds like eco-terrorism.’

Killua tossed Kurapika a fishing pole, the blonde catching it immediately. “Do you know how to fish?”

“Yes, Killua. I’ve had to fish to feed myself on numerous occasions.”

Killua scoffed. “Yeah, sure. We’re going to be surprising (Name) with fish for dinner tonight, so make sure to use your ‘skills’ and catch as much fish as you can.”

The two frowned at each other before Gon stepped in between them. “Hey, let’s save our energy for the fishing!”

Killua was the first to catch a fish, holding it up with a proud smile.

“Oh, I’ll get a picture for (Name)!”

He snapped a picture of Killua holding up his first catch.

‘Why does she need a picture of him holding a fish?’ Kurapika thought, before turning his attention back to his own fishing pole.

A few hours passed, Kurapika being the only one without a single catch.

“Didn’t you say you were good at fishing, blondie?”

The blonde huffed. “I didn’t say I was good, I said I knew how to fish.”

“Then do it?”

Kurapika dropped his pole to the ground and began to walk off.

“Killua, don’t anta… antony…”

“Antagonize him?”

“Yeah!”

Killua sighed. “Hey, blondie, get back here! Don’t you want to do something nice for (Name) after making her cry last night?”

The blonde stopped in his tracks. “… would bringing home fish… make her feel better?”

“She always gets happy when we bring home fish! Well, at least fish to eat.”

Kurapika walked back over and sat by the creek again, picking up his pole and inspecting it.

“Killua.”

The white haired boy walked over. “Yeees?”

“Why is there a gummy worm on my hook?”

“For good luck of course!”

Kurapika threw the gummy worm into the dirt. “I hate you.”

“Feelings mutual, blondie.”

————————

After placing an actual worm on his hook, Kurapika was able to catch several fish. Of course, it wasn’t very easy. He had to climb down into the creek with a net to catch them, slipping on the mud and falling in several times.

The walk back home was humiliating.

Kurapika’s hair was wet, with leaves and little sticks clinging to his blonde locks. His tabard and shirt were slung over his shoulder.

Killua and Gon didn’t look much better. The two looked like they’d been mud wrestling.

‘I mean technically Gon did wrestle that alligator… still don’t know how he won.’

Said boy was holding the buckets they brought, all full of fish of varying species.

Kurapika recognized most of them, besides the strange… sea urchin thing? Did it have eyes? Oh god it was looking at him.

The blonde faced forward. All he knew is he was NOT eating that.

“(Name) is going to be so happy! Oh Gon, I told you to throw that thing back.”

He pointed to the sea urchin thing. “Oh, I’m keeping this one as a pet. I’m naming him Hanzo!”

‘(Name) won’t like that. Her and Hanzo hated each other.’

Kurapika thought back to their time fixing the boat before the 4th phase. Hanzo and (Name) butted heads a lot, often because Hanzo didn’t know what personal space was.

He remembered when he fell and hit his head, and she stayed with him through the night, even though she herself was in pain.

‘She’s always been there for me…’

Kurapika was glad they’d reached (Name)’s house, because he didn’t want to think about how often she’d saved his ass and helped him through tough times.

Would he have done the same for her?

———————

“Oh wow, look at all this fish! You sure caught a lot, didn’t you?”

The two boys smiled wide as she cooed and gave them hugs, praising them. “Fried fish sound good to you two?”

“Mhm! With fries!”

(Name) giggled, patting Gon’s head. “Of course.”

Her face always took on a different form when she was looking at the two boys. While she was almost always soft and gentle, it was like her soft nature intensified tenfold when they were around.

Killua seemed pretty attached to her. Had he been that way when he’d last seen them in York New? Kurapika couldn’t remember him seeming so content in her presence.

“Kurapika, I heard you caught a lot too. You did a great job.”

Something about her praising him made his heart race. It almost made him feel giddy.

“Oh, um… it was no trouble.”

Killua scoffed next to him. ‘He’s awful at hiding how happy she makes him.’

Kurapika wasn’t surprised at how easily she was able to descale and gut the fish. During the Hunter Exam, she’d been the one feeding him and Leorio when they were stranded on that boat.

“Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes. You boys go wash up. You can use my bathroom, it’s bigger.”

The three trudged up the stairs, dropping their muddy clothes into her hamper.

(Name)’s bathroom was big, it had both a bath tub and shower. The two boys started the bath before jumping into the shower.

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you two getting too old to be bathing together?”

Killua raised an eyebrow. “We’re both guys, why does it matter? Plus Gon can’t wash his hair by himself. He always gets soap in his eyes.”

“Usually Aunt Mito or (Name) comes in and helps, but Killua does it when they can’t.”

They rinsed off a majority of the mud before jumping in the soapy bath. Kurapika sighed.

‘She babies them too much. He can’t wash the soap out of his hair? Isn’t he 14 already?’

Kurapika made sure that the two weren’t paying attention when he pulled his own clothes off and stepped into the shower.

There was a pink loofa, several soaps and body scrubs, and shampoo on the shelves.

‘Oh, I forgot to grab my shampoo…’

He shrugged and picked up her bottle, squirting some of the shampoo into his hand before rubbing it into his hair.

Kurapika would never get used to how his body reacted to anything that reminded him of her. Sometimes it was arousal, and sometimes a soothing feeling settled over him.

Like now.

He felt his tired muscles relax when he began to run her soap into his skin. He thought about using her loofa, the fluffy pink thing tempting, but he decided not to. Using her soap was one thing, using the object she rubbed all over her naked body was another.

Oh no, now he was thinking about her taking a shower. (Name) rubbing herself with the loofa, humming to herself as the suds washed away to reveal her breasts and bare p-

Kurapika’s eyes snapped open. He couldn’t think about that, not now. He tucked away those thoughts for later, when he could think about her in the privacy of his bedroom.

Kurapika let the suds rinse away, staring down at his naked body. He had a few new scars from recent missions, and he was still a bit underweight. (Name)’s meals were certainly helping him come back to his normal weight, but just a few weeks wouldn’t cause any major changes.

He wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping out.

‘Oh. I didn’t bring any clothes up either.’

Kurapika was about to sigh and take a walk of shame down the stairs when he spotted a pile of folded clothes on the counter.

On top was a pair of his pajamas. He picked up the shirt and sniffed it, sighing when he could smell the lingering scent of (Name)’s perfume.

‘She brought us a change of clothes?’

He put the clothes on and wrapped his towel around his neck. ‘Maybe she’ll dry my hair for me again…’

Kurapika allowed himself this small amount of happiness.

He glanced to where the boys were in the bathtub, nearly laughing when he saw them playing with random bath toys. It was a rare sight, Killua smiling and acting like the kid he really was.

Kurapika let them have their fun, walking out the bathroom door and closing it behind him. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, (Name) was waiting for him.

“Come on.”

She pulled him to the living room and had him sit on the floor as she dried his hair. “You know, your hair is looking a lot better. Maybe you should just start using my shampoo.”

He didn’t answer, his eyes closed and his head leaning against her knees as her fingers ran through his hair. It was relaxing, and Kurapika was realizing that he really liked his hair being played with.

“You’ve got such pretty hair, Kurapika. I’m glad you’re taking better care of it.”

She finished drying his hair, running her fingers through it one last time.

“… you’re too kind, (Name).”

She hummed. “So I’ve heard, but I don’t think anyone can be too kind.”

‘You can, (Name).’

He remembered the way her face dropped during one of their arguments in York New. Kurapika was so sure after that, he’d never see her smile at him again.

But here she was, letting him lean against her knees as she dried his hair. Him, the man who broke her heart and called her so many mean names. She was doing this for him.

And part of him hated her for it.

“I need to get back to cooking. Will you tell Killua and Gon dinner will be ready in five minutes?”

Kurapika stood. “Of course.”

——————

(Name) dried both of the two boy’s hair as Kurapika made his plate.

“Oh, I cut up some fruit too! It’s sitting in the fridge, could you take it out for me, sweetheart?”

He paused, but recovered quickly. “On it.”

He glanced to the group as he pulled the bowl out. Gon was waiting patiently at (Name)’s feet as Killua got his hair dried.

“All done, go and make your plate.”

Killua stood and Gon too his place.

“I got my hands full with all of you, ya know?”

She squeezed Gon’s cheek, who laughed. “Sorry, but you’re the best at drying hair!”

“Haha, I’m not sure how good of a skill that is to have, but thank you.”

Killua made his plate and sat at the table, farthest away from Kurapika.

“Alright, you’re done.”

Gon jumped up and ran to make his plate, (Name) following behind him. “I’m starving! I could eat all of this!”

(Name) giggled. “You can have as much as you want after I make my plate.”

The four ate dinner, Gon and Killua recounting the fun day they had. It didn’t take long for them to finish their food, the two yawning.

“I think it’s about time for bed. Why don’t you two watch some TV for a bit then get some sleep? I’m gonna go shower.”

She placed her plate in the dishwasher, closing it before sighing. “We’ve got to go shopping then leave for the cabin tomorrow evening. It’ll be a long day, so get plenty of rest.”

“Yes, (Name)!”

Gon gave her a hug before she went upstairs. Kurapika noticed Killua watching her go.

The white haired boy looked… anxious? He was playing with drawstring of his sleeveless hoodie and tapping his foot.

‘Did something happen?’

Kurapika decided not to pry, instead sitting on the far end of the couch and watching some cartoon movie with the two.

He enjoyed spending time with them as well, even if Killua was a bit rude. Kurapika didn’t hold it against him. Mostly.

“Killua, we should get going. It’s getting late.”

Gon pulled Killua to his feet and started to lead him to their shared room.

“… alright.”

The two left, Gon leaving the door cracked open behind him.

‘I should sleep as well. With them, there’s no telling how exhausting tomorrow may be.’

The blonde entered his room and closed the door behind him. If he wanted to sleep, he’d need to jerk off first. He didn’t want to have another wet dream, it made it hard to be around (Name) after.

Though, jerking off to the thought of her didn’t make him feel much better. Besides the overwhelming amount of pleasure, that is.

———————

Kurapika awoke to the sound of someone sneaking down the hallway. A normal person would have never noticed this, but the blonde was far from normal.

He tiptoed to his door and peeked out, spotting Killua running up the stairs.

Kurapika would have ignored it and gone back to bed, but the brief glance he’d gotten from Killua’s face made him worry.

He looked absolutely terrified, something Kurapika had never seen in Killua before.

The blonde concealed his aura, waiting a moment before walking upstairs as well. By then, Killua was long gone, the only indication of where he’d gone being (Name)’s door, left cracked open.

“Killua? Shh, it’s okay.”

Kurapika could hear (Name) talking in a low, soothing voice. He peeked through the crack in the door to see Killua holding onto her, his head on her shoulder. He was blubbering nonsense, his tears soaking into her tshirt.

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you alone again, promise.”

‘Leave him alone again? What is she talking about?’

“It… it happened again. Another nightmare about when you…”

(Name) shushed him and scooted over. “Come on, it’s late. You can just sleep with me tonight.”

Killua climbed in without a second thought, clinging onto her like a child would his mother.

“I thought this might happen. You were anxious tonight, right?”

Killua nodded slowly as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Yes… sometimes I remember that day and… can’t stop thinking about it.”

She sighed. “I really wish you would let me enroll you in some therapy. Could do you some good.”

Killua was silent, (Name) realizing he’d fallen asleep. She hummed softly and continued to play with his hair until she fell asleep too.

Kurapika watched the two with soft eyes. She was holding onto him so tenderly, even in her sleep. It was clear the two had bonded greatly between the time Kurapika had seen them last.

‘And… they’re hiding something from me. Something big enough to have traumatized Killua.’

He walked back down the stairs, spotting Gon standing in the hallway.

“Did Killua go to sleep with (Name)?” Gon asked. Kurapika nodded.

“Yes, they’re both asleep now.”

Gon sighed, pushing some hair out of his face. “Sometimes Killua wakes up from some awful nightmares, and the only one that can calm him down is (Name). Something… something happened. I’m not sure what, but Killua was really hurt by whatever it was, and he won’t tell me.”

Kurapika reached out a hand to pat Gon’s shoulder. “It’s not easy telling others about the things that have hurt you. It may take him a while, but I’m sure he’ll open up to you eventually.”

‘If I was around a little longer, maybe they would tell me too.’

He walked back to bed after saying goodnight to Gon. It was 1 am now, meaning he’d have to be up in four hours for a few phone calls before leaving to go shopping with the group.

——————

“Alright everyone, let’s split up to cover more ground. Killua, you’re coming with me. Kurapika, Gon is with you.”

The group were at a local grocery store. Killua had been quiet all morning, clinging to (Name)’s side sleepily.

“I’ll text you the grocery list, okay?”

Kurapika nodded. (Name) walked away hand in hand with Killua, laughing when he leaned against her. “Aww, still sleepy? You can take a nap when we get home.”

The two watched them leave before Kurapika sighed. “He sure is being clinging today.”

Gon nodded, placing a box of cereal into the shopping cart. “Yeah, he usually is after he’s had a nightmare. It’s like he’s scared she’ll disappear or something.”

Kurapika bit his lip. ‘Does his nightmare have something to do with (Name)?’

Kurapika jumped at the sound of his phone going off, realizing it was just the grocery list (Name) had sent them.

The two finished the list easily, meeting back up with the two at the cash register. They checked out, and drove home.

“Okay, I’m going to pick up Leorio, you boys start packing your bags. Killua, you go get a nap. I’ll pack your bag later.”

Killua shook his head and held onto her sleeve. “I’ll go with you.”

Kurapika blinked at the way (Name)’s eyes softened, her hand cupping his cheek. “Oh, of course. Come on.”

He followed her to the mom van, climbing into the front seat.

Kurapika and Gon watched them leave. “It must of been bad for him to still be so clingy.” Gon said, a worried look on his face.

Kurapika nodded.

The two left to pack in their respective rooms. Kurapika packed using the small black suitcase gifted to him by (Name).

Killua and (Name) were back within 30 minutes, Leorio with them now. He seemed to be talking softly with (Name) and Killua, having that same soft look (Name) had when Killua had a nightmare.

‘Leorio must know as well.’ Kurapika thought, frowning.

He knew that they all had grown closer while he was gone, but they’d never been the types to keep secrets from him. Kurapika couldn’t be angry though, he kept plenty of secrets from them.

Leorio walked in, pulling a suitcase behind him. “I haven’t been to the beach since the Hunter Exam! I can’t wait!”

(Name) giggled, Killua following close behind her. He kept a hand on her shirt, and hadn’t said a word since he said he was coming with her earlier.

“I ordered some takeout for dinner. Let’s all do some cleaning up before we have to leave in a few hours. I’ll be folding laundry.”

She handed out brooms and gloves to everyone as she went and sat on the couch, beginning to fold the laundry she had recently washed.

Killua lied his head on her lap and slept as she folded. No one complained, it seemed everyone could tell he’d had a rough night.

“Are you excited, Gon? I know you come from an island but-“

“Yep, I’m very excited!! Last time (Name) took us to the beach, Killua got super sunburnt, it was pretty funny.”

Kurapika snickered. ‘So he gets sunburnt easily?’

“I don’t think you have any right to be laughing when you’re as pasty as Killua.”

Kurapika blinked at Leorio. “Oh. I guess you’re not wrong, I have been… inside more lately, I guess. No time to get a tan.”

He glanced at himself in the mirror again. Slowly fading dark circles under his eyes, a pale face. He didn’t find himself particularly attractive, he wandered why (Name) had called him pretty so many times.

“Well you’ll have plenty of time to soak in the sun when we’re at the beach!” Gon clapped him on the back, smiling.

“You always know how to cheer someone up, Gon.”

The blonde ruffled Gon’s hair as he laughed.

“Alright you two, get to work. I don’t want (Name) having to pick up your slack.”

Gon and Kurapika stuck their tongues out at Leorio before starting their work.

———————

After eating an early dinner, the group piled into the mom van. Leorio was driving, with Kurapika in the passenger seat. Although killua was doing better after his nap, he still requested that (Name) sit next to him in the car. She didn’t seem to mind at all, something that made Kurapika sigh softly.

“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for you in the front seat? You get motion sickness, right?”

(Name) laughed. “I’m surprised you remembered that, Kurapika, but I’m fine! It’s not that long of a drive anyways.”

He didn’t argue with her, there was no point. When (Name) decided to do something for someone else, it was hard to convince her otherwise.

The group began their drive, Leorio watching the road and singing along to some random pop song on the radio. Kurapika didn’t want to admit it, but he was also excited to spend some time under the sun and in the waves.

It didn’t take long for them to reach their destination, just two hours.

The group left the mom van and began to unpack.

“Why did we bring groceries with us? Couldn’t we just shop here?” Gon asked as he carried the ice chest inside.

“Well this place probably has higher prices because of how many tourists there are, so it’s better to bring food from home.”

Kurapika nodded. “Yes, that makes sense. I’m glad you thought of that, (Name).”

She perked up from his compliment, happily strolling inside with Killua close behind.

The cabin was nice, with three bedrooms. The first was the master bedroom, with a queen sized bed, bathroom, and walk in closet.

“This one is mine!” (Name) said with a smile. No one argued.

The second room had two queen sized beds and a large dresser.

The third room had a bunk bed, a trunk full of beach toys, and a small bathroom,

“There’s also an extra bathroom down the hall, with a shower and bath.”

Of course, Killua and Gon claimed the bunk beds immediately, leaving Kurapika and Leorio with the second room.

“Everyone get unpacked and sleep. We’re getting up early tomorrow!”

[cupidsblonde]

jj always knew he had a thing for milfs even if they where only a few years older than him.

inspiration: @princessbrunette

the moment jj had laid eyes on you he knew he had to have you. so he had brought it up to his friends one night at the chateau.

“you guys know who this is?” jj asks as he shows an instagram to the group off his phone “uhh jj” pope starts “what” “you know shes like 20 right?” jj’s jaw dropped, but then he perks up again “so whatttt its like a 2-3 year age gap who cares”everyone started laughing.

“bro” jj says slumping in his chair and says after he thought about it again. “jj ur 17 just wait a few months and you’ll be legal” John B says shrugging. Kiera smacks his arm “ow what the hell kie” “you shouldn’t be encouraging this” Pope sighs and lays down on the coach “can we figure out jj’s milf problems in the morning or something?” everyone looks at jj and he’s knocked the fuck out

In the morning, jj wakes up last. he wakes up to pope talking about who he’s dropping groceries off to this morning. jj’s ears perk up when he hears your name. “your dropping off groceries too her and didnt tell me?” “im so coming” popes face drops

“no your so not” John B, Kiera, and Sarah all look at each other and Sarah says “theres no stopping him now Pope, hes going” Sarah says and the three of them laugh

jj slaps popes shoulder and turns him around with his arm slung around his shoulder “thanks buddy” jj does a hop and a skip out the chateau and pope following him out the door

when they get to heywards jj spots something he would be able to spot anywhere, you and your 4 year old that looks just like you. jj keeps walking “jj.. jj what are you doing?!” pope whisper yells at jj but cant stop him as he’s already speaking to you.

“hello ma’am” jj says as he makes his way toward you as he picks up your bags for you. Heyward makes a face but leaves it as you swipe your card and take it back quickly and u pick up your child and catch up with thing VERY hot man who you knew to be as jj maybank.

“hey! jj right?” you ask jj stops in his tracks “you know who i am?” he asks “of course i know you silly! we went to the same school for like our whole lives until, well you know” gesturing down at the 4 year old on your hip. “oh yeah sucks you had to drop out, i wish though” he says

“wasnt really my plan but i wouldnt trade her for the world” you say, when you look up you see your small house just off the beach on the cut. “well this is my stop, thanks for bringing my groceries back i really appreciate it.” jj smiles, “you do know they offer to being the bags to you right?” “yeah i know, i got tripped off my someone that youd be there though” you say smiling.

you walk up onto your porch and notice how jj stops. “well? are you coming?” you ask turning around to smile at him and wave him on into your small house.

“guys!” jj yells coming into the chateau slamming the door open and shut excitedly. “i got a date!” pope laughs “you? with her? your joking right?” “yeah jj, does she know your going to turn 18 in two months and you arent 18?” kiera asks

“ill just have to wait then” jj says “you’ve got to tell her.” “ i will i will, the date is tomorrow night ill tell her then.”

your house wasn’t far from the chateau so, jj walked. on his way he made a stop fir some flowers. when he got there he took a deep breath outside of her door and knocked. on the inside he heard little feet tapping towards the door quickly he saw the knob turning but never all the way but at some point it does all the way and he spots a little girl, your little girl. she looks just like you.

when your girl opens the door jj takes one of the bigger flowers out of the bunch and gives her one. she takes it with her clammy hands and says “thank you!!” in her cute high pitched voice and runs off the show her mom.

you walk over to where they are and invite him inside and he gives you the flowers “they are beautiful thank you” you say walking to the kitchen to get a vase to put them in. “hey just so we dont go anywhere you dont want to, im not 18 just yet” he pauses to take a breath and u look at him nodding.

“im turning 18 in like 2 months and i just wanted you to know.” “thats okay, i just turned 20. its not legal just yet and we can wait.” “really?” jj asks “yeah of course” “well if we can, can we continue this date?”

at the end of the night, you guys just kissed goodnight as, he wasn’t legal yet. but when he did turn 18, you guys made it offical and did more than just kiss goodnight.

[cupoftaae]

Heyy! Love your work💜 Could you maybe write something fluffy, where tae is y/n’s comfort and she goes to him after a bad day🫶🏻

Hello there! AW, thank you for reading!

Fluffy taehyung is my weakness, I hope you enjoy anon :)

warnings- mentions of weed, swearing. Soft taehyung needs his own warnings tbh. also this takes place as if they were both like, 19-20 ish ....KIND OF FRIENDS TO LOVERS LOWKEY

wanna build a pillow fort? -KTH drabble

you werent sure how you had landed in this position in the first place, but here you were, sitting in the living room while your parents explained to you that...well...the college you had been praying to get into one day had declined you.

"are you sure?" you whispered, watching your dad show you the letter. You sighed, trying to hold back any signs of emotion. You had taken a gap year between graduating high school to now, just to grasp your bearings. You put all your energy into working and getting into school, but the universe had other plans.

"I know you wanted this so badly, y/n, im sorry" your mother sat down next to you. "What am I gonna do? I had no backup plan..." your face falls into your hands. "your so young, you have time. you can also sign up to take classes, you dont need to be a student" your mom adds.

"but I wanna be a student, thats the whole point."

"listen, I know this is stressful, but just go get some rest and maybe we can figure out a new plan tomorrow? ok?" your father stands up, looking at you sadly.

You shrugged, knowing that they were just trying to help, but there was no way out of this, you were fucking upset.

Once you had gotten into your room, slamming your door shut, you collapsed onto your bed and took 5 deep breathes, you didnt want to cry. You were a big girl now and crying over school was dumb. You just wanted to be with someone right now, and your best friend was 3 streets over, making things difficult.

You could invite him over, but your father wasnt too pleased to see him late at night the last time he was here. He had walked in and alerted your dog, making him bark until your parents came downstairs, freaked out. They also just dont like the idea of a boy being in your room, despite the fact you are 19, and have been friends with taehyung since you were little....there were absolutely no feelings like that showing up... at least thats what you chose to believe.

You quickly texted him just to see if he was even up to hang.

You: wyd

Tae: making ramen, wbu?

you smiled and chose to ignore his message, making the quick decision to grab your jacket and sneak out your window. Youve only done this one other time, and it was when you had covid and your friend Vanessa dropped off chipotle outside on your side of the house for you.

You prayed to God that your parents had no installed cameras, because one, you didnt want to get caught, and two, you fell on your ass on the way out. "Jesus christ" you scoff, getting up and making a dash to taehyungs house in the dark.

-

Taehyung was standing in the kitchen and dancing to music with his dog, making his little paws move according to the choreography. "Why are you making food so late?" Taehyungs mother spoke, coming into the room to fill up her tea. "because its friday.." he mumbled, mouth full of noodles.

"Okay" she laughed and shook her head, "just clean up, yeah? oh, an-"

his mother was cut off by the front door being knocked on, "who is here at this hour?" she whispered, walking over to look through the peep hole. She sarcastically looked back at taehyung, "why is y/n on my front step?" she smirked.

"she is??" he walked over to the door.

"you know if you wanted to plan a date, I could have made real food for you guys"

"mom stop" he shyly shushed her before opening the door.

"hello" you mumble, bowing at the presence of his mother.

"Hey, y/n...is everything alright?" he asks, his mother gently pulling you inside. "its almost 11 dear" she spoke.

"Im ok, Im just needing some time out of my house, I hope im not intruding?"

"oh no, no, sweetie youre good" she smiled and closed the door.

Taehyung hugged you and glanced at his mom

"i'll be upstairs if you need anything" she spoke, grabbing her tea and walking upstairs before yelling "Be good, just not too good"

He laughed and pulled away to look at you. "Not that I mind your presence, but...why are you here?"

you giggled as he took your coat and hung it up. "well....I uhm" you looked around before sitting on the edge of the couch. "I didnt get in" you shrugged, forced smile on your face.

"hm? what are you talking about?" he stands in front of you

"I received a letter in the mail today from HUFS, and it was declining my application" you speak softly, watching him frown.

"y/n...Im so sorry"

"its okay, its just a lot, but i'll be fine."

He kneeled in front of you and held your hands, "you know...its okay to be sad, right?" he whispers, "that was your dream school.."

you nodded, wanting to sink into the floor the moment you felt tears prickling your eyes. "I know, but...something new will come. I just really wanted to be like you, in school and working towards my degree already, you know?" you shrug.

he nods, "I know, but.." he squeezed your hands, "life isnt a competition, we all do things when the universe pulls us in that direction. Its ok this didnt work out, maybe it was for the best. I know you, y/n, and whatever you do in life is going to be fucking amazing, no doubt about it. So be sad, mourn what you will miss, but dont let it hold you back."

you nodded as tears escaped your eyes, small cries falling from your lips as he immediately held you up and wrapped you into his arms. "Its okay....I promise" he coo'd, hand brushing your hair as you finally let yourself feel upset.

"thank you" you sniff, wiping your eyes as you hold him.

"cmon, lets go eat junkfood and build a fort" he squeezed your waist, making you blush slightly as you followed him to the kitchen. "a fort?" you asked, eyes still wet.

"mhm, with like the pillows and stuff" he spoke, taking another bite of noodles.

you giggle, "ok"

-

You two sat under a giant pillow fort, with a blanket over the head for the roof. "I have to say, your pillow fort making skills have improved. Remember when we were little and it would always collapse on us?" you snorted, nudging him.

"I have improved and grown in many ways, trust the process of time" he joked, taking a bite of the chip in his hand.

He definitely had grown and improved, taking a moment to look over his face proves the fact that Taehyung had matured quite nicely at that.

"dont stare its rude" he teased, finding something to watch on youtube.

You shake your head, "sorry" you lean over to lay beside him so you can see the screen of his laptop.

"Your parents wont like...kill me...if they find out you spent the night, right?"

you giggle, "am I spending the night?"

"well, you dont have to, I just assumed because its already 1am and its not safe for you to be out and about"

you shook your head, "what? so I dont have what it takes to fight off street hagglers?"

"oh you do, Im keeping you off the street for their safety" he spoke seriously, making you laugh.

"mm, and no, my parents arent gonna do anything, I dont think....maybe.....you know what? I dont know"

"oh that makes me feel good" he fake pouts

"Im teasing, im 19 and they need to get over keeping me locked up all the time..." you play with the fabric of the blanket.

"I think your dad hates me, dude" he sighed, shutting his laptop and leaving you both to lay in the dark as you looked up at the green blanket roof.

"shut up, he does not"

"He told me that he didnt want me showing up there anymore"

"thats because it was 4am and you scared the dog, I told you to come in through the window you fucking dumbass" you joked, "he also caught you with weed, so there you go"

"hm, fair I guess" he sighed

"he doesnt hate you I promise" you turned on your side to face him, not realizing how close your faces were.

He turned his head, noses barley touching as you both looked over each others faces in the dark.

"are you feeling better?" he whispered

"yeah...yeah I am" you mumbled, wanting to pull away but also choosing to stay put.

"good" he smiled and turned his body so it was also laying on his side, facing you.

"Y/n?" he asked

"yeah?"

"is it ok if I kiss you?"

you felt your hear stop in your chest, what did he just ask you?

"w-what?" you look at him, eyes wide

"I asked if I could kiss you?" he repeated, voice so soft and quiet. "its ok to say no" he added.

you took a breath, realizing that in moments like this, you really have to be honest with yourself and stop saying you aren't attracted to him, because here he is, in front of you, asking to kiss after taking his time to make you feel better. You can only hold on to your discipline so much before you fold.

"yeah...yeah you can kiss me, tae" you exhale, shocked the words even came from your mouth.

His large hand came up to hold your face delicately, thumb brushing your skin as you both leaned in slowly until each others lips clashed. The feeling felt a lot more natural than you anticipated, it wasn't weird, or awkward or cringe, it felt....right?

If tae's plan was to make you fully forget about that college letter, than goal achieved.

You knew you both would have to talk about this later, at some other time when your mouths weren't attached to each other, but for now all you wanted to do was be thankful for him.

you gently pulled back and giggled like a little girl, a blush creeping over your face as he pulled you against his chest. There were no words or jokes, you both simply laid together before eventually falling asleep in each others embrace.

Maybe he was right about better things coming, and maybe this was it.

A/N- this was so cute I was kicking my feet and giggling while writing, we all need our own taehyung.

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry x reader] pt. 10

read part 9 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: slight violence, blood, murderous fantasies, and obsessive behavior

a/n: that awkward moment when you go to college and forget how to write fic. lol <3. here you go, im getting back into it so just a short chapter.

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Dear Diary,

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!

How the hell could I let this happen? What the fuck?

How does fighting with your best friend turn into triple homicide? How does getting a boyfriend make you an accomplice? A few weeks ago I was a girl with a crush, and now my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

I didn’t sleep last night. Ethan dragged me out of the house into his car. I was shaking the whole time. It didn’t feel real. We were speeding back to my house, swinging wildly around corners, and I remembered the way Mindy’s sliced throat bubbled with blood. I threw up all over myself and the passenger seat of Ethan’s car. That only scared me more. I thought he’d pull over and kill me right then, he seemed so manic, but he only glanced over and laughed. Fucking laughed. 

That wasn’t even the sickest thing, though. He finally got to my house and I went to get out of the car, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back so hard I thought he’d dislocate it. He didn’t say anything, but his expression was so terrifying I got the message: don’t say shit. 

My parents barely noticed when I came home. They didn’t even realize I’d been out. Typical. My boyfriend killed the only people who cared if I lived or died. Except him, of course. 

The sick thing is that I can’t forget that sweet, shy boy from the cafeteria. Whenever I see him it’s like I shut down. Like a deer in headlights. I’ve got no control over myself when I’m with Ethan. He brought me to his place, again. Just showed up in his car. I thought it was better to do what he wanted.

Thank god no school tomorrow.

Y/N

As soon as I close my diary, I feel a familiar presence behind my shoulders. I tense as he wraps his arms around my neck. 

“Relax, Y/N,” Ethan says. “It’s like you saw a ghost.”

I’m still scared shitless by him, but his comment makes me so mad that I push him off and rise from the living-room couch. “What the fuck, Ethan?”

His mouth widens into a toothy grin. “A little dark humor, sorry. Just trying to lighten your mood.”

I don’t give him the satisfaction of a response. He rolls his eyes and flops onto the couch. “So, who’s next? Should we kill Anika? Could be another suicide thing– not much to live for after your girlfriend and her brother and his kinda-girlfriend bite it. Or maybe Sam? She’s the reason you were even at Tara’s place that morning, after all.”

My blood runs cold. I open my mouth to say something, but the door slams. “Jesus, kids, you’re sure making a lot of fucking noise.” 

Ethan’s dad waltzes in, smiling ear to ear. His shirt is partially unbuttoned and his hair and tie are askew. Sergeant Bailey smells like cigars, and I wrinkle my nose before I can stop myself. 

Ethan rolls his eyes. “Celebrating, dad?”

The sarge pretends not to notice Ethan’s tone. “As a matter of fact, yes. We investigated and intercepted a pretty high-level bomb threat today. The captain took us out to celebrate. Still an asshole, though. I should be doing his job.”

“Bomb threat?”

“Yeah. A gnarly one, too. Some office building in the east of town. They put a Norwegian in the boiler room and a bunch of thermals upstairs that were gonna be set off after. Luckily the bomb squad got there before the clock reached zero. The captain…”

He keeps chattering about the details of his day and his “fucking idiot” of a boss, but it all fades out when Ethan gets that look in his eye again. I know this one: it’s the same look from the funeral. His eyes are stony. He’s forming a plan. 

I can’t be in this house any more. I feel myself run out the door, and I almost make it to the street before a tight grip fastens itself around my waist. I kick and yell but to no avail. Ethan tightens his grip around me and kisses me, muffling my screams. I’m so claustrophobic, I can hardly breathe.

As he deepens this kiss, I do the only thing I can think of: I bite his lip, hard. He yelps and lets me go, and we both fall back onto the grass. He brings his hand down from his mouth, and I can see a trickle of blood on his fingers. “Cute, Y/N. Very fucking cute.”

“Leave me alone. We’re done. Whatever this thing is, it’s over.”

He grins, and there’s blood in his teeth. “You can’t bring them back. You’ve got to know that.”

I feel hot tears welling up. “I’m not trying to bring back anything, you psycho, except maybe myself.”

His face hardens. “I love you, Y/N. I love you a whole fucking lot. I’ve made that pretty clear. And you know what I can do. To anyone. For you. To you. So you’ll be back.”

His threat makes my head spin. I scramble back towards the road. For a second, I think he’s going to follow me, but he makes no move to get up.

When I hit cement, I turn on my heels and run. The sting of the wind burns my tear-tracked cheeks, but I don’t stop or slow until I’m safely upstairs in my bedroom with the door locked. 

Dear Diary,

Am I going to homecoming, or hell?

taglist: @miawastakens dm or reply to be added!

[chrisismine22]

Not enough

FIRST POST.

chris and you are"freinds" right?

TW! smut, unprotected sex, p in v, use of toys, masturbating, pet names, language, drinking.

y/n and chris

It was 10 at night and you were exhausted from your meetings. Tomorrow was a big day and you were so exited. You were planning on meeting up with a bunch of your friends for the triplets birthday. You were most exited to see Chris. You and the triplets had been friends since high school but you had connection with Chris. You didn't know what it was but being around him made you feel warm and cozzy. His voice was calming and he was HILARIOUS. You decided to text him before you went to bed.

y/n:Heyyy wyd

Chris: hey y/n im trying to go to sleep rn but u texted me

y/n: shut up bru

Chris: well Nick invited Larray. I thought you would be happy so ya

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

you and Larray were such good friends. His energy made your day. Everyday. Even when he was mad, it was still funny and made you giggle.

y/n:YAYYYYYY

Chris: glad ur happy y/n

well cu tmrw

y/n: byee chrisyyyyy

Chris: dont call me that

y/n: fineee

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Talking to Chris made you so happy no matter the topic. You decided it was best for you to just sleep for now cause u also wanted to buy a new outfit tmrw.

next morning---

Its almost 12. "Shit, i'm gonna be late" You quickly got up from bed and went to change. You threw on some grey sweats and a baby-T. You didn't put on a bra tho cause you thought you were just gonna go to get an outfit. By the time you finished eating it was like 1 so you just decided to stay home. The mall was to far from your house to get new clothes so you just went to fix up you hair and put on some makeup. You were heading upstairs and when your phone started vibrating in your pocket. It was Chris calling.

"Hey Chrisy" you say with a smile cause you knew how he hated that name

"Shut up y/n. Do you want matt and I to pick you up. Nick said hes gonna try to get Tara to come to the party so he wont be coming to pick you up"

"Ya Im just gonna fix my hair and shi but you guys can come in like 20 min"

"ok let me tell Matty"

you giggled at the nickname Chris gave his brother. you just hung up the phone and started your make up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was about 30 min later and you were sitting on the couch. You didnt chage your clothes cause you would be uncofortable in smth fancy anyways. plus the triplets and u were close so it didnt matter what you wore. You heard a knock at ur door and got up from the couch. It was chris.

"HIIII" you said giving him a hug

"HIIII" he said hugging you back.

"wheres Matt?" you didnt see him because oyu were caught up in looking at Chris' new shirt. It was just a white T but it was right up on his abbs. "God" you thought to yourself

"Matts in the car waiting, ru ready?"

"oh ya sry we can go now" you said as you giggled a bit.

Chris was looking into your eyes but you didn't think anything of it cause you know, we're friends.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now almost 9pm and the party was going great. Chris decided to get a little drunk which confused you cause he never drank. You were dancing when you felt two large hands on your waist. It was Chris

"Fuck you scared me chris"

"Sry ml"

you gasped at the new nickname. You knew he was drunk for sure

"Chris! get urself together bud" you laughed

His sleepy eyes looked into yours. You gasped again but this time, it was at the feeling in you stomach.

"Im not doing anything baby"

You didnt know what to say. because you liked it. You just decided to ingnore him until he pulled you in.

"Dont ignore me sweethart, I wanna hear your pretty voice again"

His low voice and the names you were given made you throb to you core. You decided it wouldnt be HOriBle.

"ok handsome" you dragged your fingers down his chest. You were drunk but not as drunk as him.

Chris didnt hesitate one bit, pulling you in and smashing his lips against yours. A slight moan escaped your throat at the sudden contact. You bodies were so close you could feel his bulge.

He broke the kiss, pulling you arm toward his room. It took you a second to realize what was going on after his kiss. Hypnotising as his tongue wandered your mouth. He swung open the door and pushed you in the bed.

"Chris what ru doing"

"Dont worry baby,"

You didnt know what to think because you guys were "friends". right?

Chris climbed on the bed, slamming his lips to yours again. You felt one of his hands travel down to your tits.

"Fuck you dont have a bra baby"

"Chris, we cant do this"you hated saying that cause you really did want to do this

"why not sweetheart"he groaned slowly kissing your neck

once again, you ignored him enjoying the plessure of his lips and his hands on you sensitive nipples. You were wet. So wet you couldn't explain.

After a bit of you whimpering and quietly moaning Chris kissed a trail down to your thighs. Before doing anything, he looked up at you for consent. You slowly nodded as he pulled your sweats of. He stared at the puddle formed in your thong.

"wet for me princess"

"Chris pleae--" you were interupted by a moan escaping your mouth as you rubbed slow but strong circles on your clit.

"please what baby, I wanna know what you want my love"

Your back arched at the feeling of his finger caressing your folds. "plea-please touch m--"

"you want me to make you feel good dont you"

you hummed in response loosing the ability to speek has the circles got faster and rough. You loved it so much. The pet names and his deep voice turned you on enough. without warning, Chris shoved two fingers into you. "Chris!" you moaned his name as his long veiny fingers hit your g-spot immediately. "you like that princess" he grinned as his pace sped up, still hitting your g-spot

"mhm" you whimpered as you felt a knot growing in you lower stomach. "Im-- close" you could barely get words out of your mouth because of the pure pleasure u felt. "cum all over my fingers baby" Those words set you off, squirting your liquid all over his finger. You were catching your breath when you looked at chris. his bulge was unbelievable and it turned you on, even after you just came."your such a good girl f'me you know" he praised you as he licked his fingers"taste so good mm" he groaned. Without thinking, you quickly pushed him on his back, desperate for him to be in you. You kissed him desperately as you grinded on his member. he was big, and you loved it. "wtf do you think your doing" he grabbed you hips holding them in place. "please chrisy, i want you daddy" you said whimpering at the loss of friction. That five letter word made him go crazy as he grinded you on him, helping you gain friction. You were a moaning mess and his boxers weren't even off yet. "your such a slut y/n. your my slut" You couldnt listen as you were derperate for his cock. lifting you hips, you slid his boxers down watching his long cock smack his pelvis. He was leaking pre-cum all over his pink tip. You decided to contain yourself for a bit as you palmed his tip slowly."agh fuck it--- feels so good" you knew he loved it from the groans and whimpers but you needed him now. You aligned his gurthy cock with you needy cunt and sank onto him. A pornographic moan escaped you mouth. "o princess your so tight i love it".

At this point you weren't listening to him, instead focused on the feeling of his dick deep inside you. he grabbed your waist only to thrust deeper into you. Both you guys' moans were getting uncontrollable. You could feel Chris' dick throbbing in you which meant he was close.

"fil-fill me up daddy"

The last word pushing hit to the edge. As you felt his warm liquid shoot inside of you the know in your stomach released, causing you to orgasm again. It felt so good. as you rode out you high chris started massaging your clit again. Again, it felt so good. the overstimulate wasnt painful but felt amazing. this time he wanted to be in charge. giving you barely any time to breath, he flipped you over onto your back again.

This time there was no teasing. You felt him slamming right into you. You did feel pain but it felt soooo goood. Your moans turned into screams as his member reached somewhere no one could reach. The squelching noises and your moans turned him on even more. You didnt think it was possible be this desperate for more but you were. He was pounding. All you could do was enjoy as you tits bounced up and down. it was mezmorizing how quiet but how loud he was. His groans made you reach you high faster each time. You were grspimg on the sheets as his cock made you nausuos in a good way. You couldnt get over it. Without saying anything you came all over him screaming his name

'' CHRIS OMFG'' your moans were so loud anyone could hear. As you were way overstimulated, Chris finaly came in you again. "fuck my princess" he moaned

He slowly pulled out as he flopped next to you on the bed.

''Fuckkk y/n your to good. I love you''

''I love you too chris''

[shurisasthmaticgf]

Back In Your Arms: Shuri x Black! Fem! Reader

warnings: spoilers, mention of death, yelling, swearing, angst, lmk if i forgot anything

a/n: it's literally semester end for me and my brain is beyond fried so im sorry if this is ass lmao

The minute you found out Shuri was planning an attack on Namor and the Talokanil, you were already readying yourself to join. Although you never verbally told her, she already knew by the way you spent extra time training in the early mornings and late nights. It was only the night before that Shuri told you that you were not included in the attack on the enemy.

You paced around her lab growing more agitated by the second, "What do you mean I'm not going tomorrow?" Shuri repeated herself firmly, "Exactly what that means. I do not understand why you are making this so difficult." You stopped pacing and faced her, throwing your hands in the air, "So what do you expect me to do?" Shuri didn't look away from the monitor in front of her as she added finishing touches to something she'd been working on, "I have arranged for you to stay in Jabariland until we have finished business with Namor. You will be accompanied by Noxolo and Taji, per General's recommendation. M'baku has also ordered two Jabari warriors to stay back as well for you."

Hearing her plan of making you sit around and do nothing only frustrated you more. You brought your hands up to your head then exclaimed, "I'm supposed to just sit around holed up in a goddamn cave while you and everyone else go save the world?! Are you fucking kidding me Shuri?! T'challa and Queen Ramonda would allow me to-"

"YOU DO NOT SPEAK THEIR NAMES! YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL ME WHAT THEY WOULD DO. THAT DOESN'T MATTER! THEY AREN'T HERE- THEY'RE GONE. " Shuri's voice echoed through her lab, the force of her voice reverberating in your chest. The queen took a deep breath and slowly walked over towards you with narrowed eyes. A pit formed in your stomach as you stared back at her, the light that shone behind those deep brown seas was gone. There was nothing but hatred and anger as it consumed her from the inside out that you could only bear witness to.

Shuri stood eye level with you and she spoke through gritted teeth, "You are staying back. That is an order from me as your queen. Do you understand?" You lowered your head and answered, "Yes...your highness." The title taste bitter on your tongue and it was clear by the slight sarcasm in your voice. Nonetheless you conceded to her order, and satisfied by your reply Shuri turned back to what she was working on, not even bidding you goodnight like she usually would.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷

Nearly six hours had passed since you first arrived in Jabariland for the time being. You were being sheltered in a den far within one of the mountains. A small fire burned in the center of the floor and small wooden furnishings adorned by furs perfectly place around the room. You sat upside down with your legs over the back of a chair while your head dangled above the floor.

From the entrance of the den, Olaitan, one of the Jabari warriors on guard insisted, "There was no space on the door for Jack. If he got on the door then they both would have died!" You shook your head in refusal and the mix of beads and shells that adorned your hair clicked together. You swung your legs back onto the ground and sat up straight, closing your eyes for a moment as the blood rushed back to your head.

Before you could reply, Noxolo, one of the Dora Milaje who accompanied you, cut in, "I refuse. Rose let Jack die. There was room on that door, she was just selfish." You listened to the young warrior, watching how the large scar over her white eye crinkled when she narrowed her gaze. You pointed to Noxolo and chimed in, "See that's exactly what I've been saying."

Across from you, Taji, another Dora Milaje shook her head, "How could Jack and Rose fit on that tiny piece of wood? There is no way that both of them could have survived! Olaitan and I are right- Jack wouldn't have made it if he wanted to save Rose!" Her deep brown eyes sparkled with delight of thinking she was right. You and Noxolo looked at each other with exasperated expressions. It had been two hours of this debate and neither side was willing to admit that they were wrong or right.

You slapped your hand against the floor and said, "Jack could have fit. There was an entire MythBusters episode on this!" Noxolo snapped her fingers and confirmed, "Yes, and they confirmed that Rose and Jack could have fit on the door in five different ways." Taji asked, "Did they do this experiment in the Northern Atlantic Ocean in April at night time? With individuals who measure exactly the same to Rose and Jack?"

At that argument you and Noxolo fell silent, making Taji and Olaitan laugh at you both. Desperate for a tie breaker you turned to the last person in the room who had yet to add their two cents into the debate. With a cheeky grin you asked, "Adisa, you're the deciding vote." The large Jabari warrior looked between you, the two Dora Milaje, and his fellow warrior.

A thick tension fell over the entire den, only the sound of the crackling fire at the center of the room could be heard. Adisa looked at you and Noxolo giving you a hopeful grin, but he responded, "I have never seen this 'Titanic' you all speak of." The four of you threw your hands in the air in defeat and annoyance as Adisa laughed heartedly at the disappointment he caused.

Purple flashes from your Kimoyo beads drew your attention from the rest of the group. You turned your back towards them and hunched over your wrist, waiting for a call to come through. It took a moment then you heard a familiar voice, "Ayo, Y/n." You held your beads closer and asked, "Riri? Why isn't Shuri the one calling me?" The student paused as if she was debating on telling you something before she simply replied, "She told me to call you." Your heart raced in your chest and you asked, "Why? Why would she ask you to do that? Is everything okay? Where is Shuri?"

Riri let out an exhausted sigh and told you, "Wait chill out. Take a breather, your girl is fine. She just has something she's doing right now aight? I was just calling to tell you they sending a flyer to pick you up. I'll see you when you get here, okay?" You but your lip nervously and answered much quieter than before, "Mhm. See you later." The call ended and you rested your head between your knees while taking deep breaths as you waited for the flyer to come get you.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷

The entirety of the ride back to the Citadel you were dead silent. Your leg bounced anxiously against the floor while you pulled at the coils along the nape of your neck. In your mind you replayed your last moments with Shuri before you left for Jabariland:

You step foot onto the flyer to see Shuri waiting for you with Riri by her side. While Riri grinned from ear to ear at seeing you, the queen did not wear the same expression. Exactly the same as the past few days, Shuri's face blank and emotionless, and her eyes looked empty. Your heart broke at the sight but you told yourself this was part of her grieving process.

It was as if Shuri was present but distant at the same time, just standing before you not making any motion towards you. Until you closed the space between the two of you by pulling her into your arms. Shuri then wrapped her arms around your body and rested her head on your shoulder. After a moment you pulled away from her and attempted to look her in the eyes. The queen turned her head slightly so she was looking just past you. A frown tugged at the corner of your lips and you held her face in your hands, "I'll see you when we get back, yeah?" Still refusing to look at you Shuri nodded ever so slightly in response but remained completely silent.

Your thumb grazed the side of her jaw and you placed a chaste kiss against her lips that she reciprocated. Slowly, your palms dragged lower, holding onto Shuri's neck gently and you quietly spoke so only she could hear you, "Sthandwa."

Finally, the queen's eyes met yours and you told her, "Be smart. Don't forget who you are." She nodded in understanding and you kissed her once more, "I love you Shuri." She held you tighter in her arms, squeezing you so hard it almost hurt- almost as if she didn't want you to leave. Your girlfriend pressed a kiss to your forehead and murmured against you, "I love you, y/n."

Shuri released you from her embrace and you walked further down the ramp to exit the ship. The queen stopped walking in front of the two Dora Milaje she'd assigned to accompany you. The two young women, Noxolo and Taji, were the youngest warriors in the group, but Okoye and Ayo recommended the two for the job.

The queen stopped the two warriors with a hand to the sterum, "You understand what is expected of you both, correct?" Noxolo and Taji replied confidently, "Yes your highness." Shuri lowly whispered to the two Dora Milaje, "Protect her at all costs." The two warriors once more answered in unison, "Yes your highness." Shuri stepped off of the flyer but not before looking over her shoulder to see you and Riri.

At the sight of Riri you cocked your head to the side and smiled. You pulled her into a side hug and told her, "Go kick some ass but promise me you'll be careful out there, aight?" The student gave you her word, "I got you, don't worry." You gave her a knowing look and she put her hands up in fake surrender with a laugh, "I'm being for real!" You punched her arm lightly and admitted, "I'm just teasing you don't worry." Riri turned to walk off the ship and said, "I'll see you when you get back!" All you could do was give a very convincing fake smile, because anything else and you would have ran back towards them and tried to stay. The flyer began to close and Shuri watched from the ground until it was no longer in sight with you in it.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷

The moment the flyer touched the ground and opened you were already trying to make your way to see Shuri. When the door opened Nakia was waiting for you while Ayo waited for Noxolo and Taji, pulling them aside immediately. You looked around to see many Dora Milaje missing. Slowly you turned back towards Ayo and noticed the paled look on Taji's face. The young warrior was out of earshot but the way she swallowed thickly and remained silent, accepting whatever Ayo was telling them made your stomach drop.

Whatever Nakia was trying to tell you started to sound like jibberish until you ran a full out sprint. You dashed up two flights of stairs and the long corridor leading to Shuri’s chamber. The beads and shells on your front braids smacked against your cheeks and eyes but you couldn't care less. The sound of running footsteps echoed behind yours and a woman called out, "Y/N! Stop!" Turning on your heel you faced Nakia, watching as she jogged up to you.

Tears burned your eyes as you shook your head in denial from already thinking the worst case scenario. Nakia held you by the shoulders and calmly spoke, "She is alive. She will be okay, Shuri will be alright, Y/n." Her words took a moment to register but soon you found your breaths slowing and tears stopping. Nervously you questioned, "What happened?" The older woman explained slowly, "While the rest of us were fighting on the ship, Shuri and Namor went off alone. I do not know the entre story, but all I know is they were battling on an island. Shuri has sustained multiple injuries that are being treated currently." As if she could read your mind, Nakia added, "You will be able to see her shortly. The healers must finish with her before then. You cannot get in their way."

Although your tears stopped falling you felt like you were going to fall apart all over again. Nakia gently placed an arm around your shoulder and led you away from Shuri's bedroom door. The chamber door opened and Nyakallo, the head healer, exited the room and waved you back over.

Nyakallo told you kindly, "Miss Y/N. You are able to visit her, she is resting now. If she needs anything you know how to call me." You thanked the older woman and burst into Shuri's room. Your girlfriend lay in her bed surrounded by pillows which made her look smaller than normal. Her lips were pale and chapped and her eyes shut with her hands resting over her chest. The concern on your face went away when Shuri cracked a smile and chuckled lightly. You groaned in annoyance and whined, "Even when you're seriously injured you still find the time to play with me huh?"

Shuri's eyes remained shut as she quietly answered, "I got speared to a rock. Let me have my fun...plus it's fun to mess with you." She could tell without looking that you were giving her an annoyed glare. You chose not to acknowledge the whole getting speared to a rock thing- that was for another time.

Your girlfriend hummed then requested, "Lay with me?" You pulled back her blankets and climbed into her bed next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Shuri slowly moved herself closer to you, and in the process you noticed how she was moving extremely stiff. The familiar and comforting smell of vanilla and ylang-ylang that clung to her sheets filled your senses. She rested her head on your chest and let out a breath that she seemed to have been holding for some time.

The two of you laid in silence until the queen let out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry. I yelled at you and I pushed you away recently when you were trying to be there for me. I'm sorry." You held onto Shuri's hand as she took another breath so she could continue, "I couldn't lose you too. He- he promised me he would-" Her voice broke as she remembered the promises Namor made and kept, resulting in her own massive loss. You gently shushed her, "Shhh. We don't have to have this conversation right now. You are supposed to be resting remember?"

Your girlfriend held back the tears that welled up behind her eyes, "Yes." She turned her head into your chest and you held her head closer to your heart. You stroked her head gently while whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Shuri's body started to relax against yours and soft snores fell past her lips. You kissed the top of her head and squeezed your eyes shut, thanking the ancestors and gods above that she was back in your arms again.

[not-alien-girl-v]

Hello! Could I request a tate langdon x trans male reader? (Sorry for requesting tate I know you get him alot)

note: you know what you are right i do get tate a lot but the tumblr girlies have been eating him up lately so this one goes out to the transmascs and/or tate lovers. also writing this on my phone and my fat ass thumbs are not doing all that work of clicking shift so this will be all lowercase. anyway i’m writing this sleep deprived at midnight so i am going to wake up tomorrow morning and forget i wrote this most likely

warning: language probably idk i write my warnings before i write the fic and i just predict what the fuck im going to add in idk i should stop

the dead of winter makes things feel quiet. you barely hear your mom in the kitchen though you are just in the room over. it’s not snowing outside, it doesn’t do that in la, like, ever, but it would be nice maybe once.

you feel the vibration of your phone. you’re sitting on the couch and it’s in the back pocket of your jeans and you don’t want to stand up to fish it out so you flop yourself sideways and grab it. you have three notifications, and in your mind, you make a mental ranking of their importance.

3. bereal went off, though it happened hours ago and you don’t bother to take the picture because who cares

2. about 46 minutes ago, your friend texted your other friend in the group chat, talking about some concert tonight for people you’ve never even heard of before

1. your boyfriend, tate, texted about the same concert, but in this case, offering to take you with him to the show

not to play favorites, but a night out alone with your boyfriend sounds like more fun than a night with your freaky little friends. sure, they were a barrel of monkeys… in their own way, but you’d much prefer a long night in working at a puzzle with them than a raging concert.

‘?’ Tate texts again. You opened his text and he saw the read receipt but you’ve just been sitting there contemplating the meaning of life for minutes now.

‘maybe’ you reply and renter your deep thought once more. it would be fun, you’d have a good time and he’d be happy… but you have been wearing your binder for at the very least 10 hours now, and you had plans to take it off in a little bit (granted you were procrastinating) and that was something you didn’t want to deny yourself.

they say you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder, but that’s never stopped you. back in high school, you had PE 3rd period, and it’s not like you were just gonna go through the trouble of taking it off for a one hour block every single day and then put it back on once the class is over.

that’s the same now, though you don’t have a PE class, you are an avid mosher in the pit and you don’t want to be boobs flying everywhere. you don’t even want boobs at all, but top surgery is expensive, and your insurance only covers testosterone shots so you make do with what you can.

‘maybe?’ he texts back and he didn’t include it in the text, but you can feel a :( radiating from his end of the line.

‘tummy kinda hurts idk’ another thing, he doesn’t know you’re trans. it’s no big deal, truly, you know he’d be super supportive and respectful if you came out and nothing would change between the two of you but that doesn’t take away any of your fear of telling him. this relationship has been going on for 6 months now, and it seems like the longer you wait to say something, the more awkward it will be once you do.

‘:(‘ he texts and you frown a little as well in real life, and you put your phone on the table and walk into the kitchen. your mom is baking those little sugar cookies from target with the snowmen on them and you swear if you got close enough, you could eat an entire tray full of them.

but you’ve already spoiled your dinner enough with the potato chips you now realize you’ve abandoned in the living room and walk back to your room.

your bedroom is small yet well decorated, giving it a cozy aura, even more when you light a peppermint candle. you finally remove your binder and it feels like a breath of fresh air for the first time today. twisting your arms around, you stretch out and then put on a tank top and bundle up in your bed because it’s so damn cold out.

you put your headphones over your ears and play some random song off a playlist tate made for you and all is well in the world until you think you hear your mom screeching your name from the kitchen. of course, the second you pause the music and rip of the headphones, it’s dead silence once more, so you put them back on. there’s the noise again. if she’s really trying to contact you, she can just text you rather than test out her echolocation skills.

a moment later, she does text you.

‘someone at the door go get it’

as polite as ever, you have no choice but obey and slump to the front door, unhappy that your unwinding time has been interrupted by some rando at the door. when you open the door (albeit, grumpily), it’s not a rando, but it is in fact your boyfriend.

“tate! what are you doing here?” you don’t mean to sound so unhappy about his presence, it just comes out like that and of course you notice how quickly his eyes trail downwards on your body. you follow them too, until they land on your uncaged boobs. shit. “oh, um.”

“aren’t you going to invite me in?” he doesn’t say anything you thought he would and for that, you hold the door open for him and step aside to let him in.

“so, what are you doing here?” you ask again since he didn’t respond the first time.

“you said your stomach hurt, and mine kinda hurt too, so i thought i could come over and we could be in pain together. what do you think?” the whole time he’s been making his way to your bedroom, though he hadn’t been in your house very many times, he knew where he was going. he kicks off his shoes at the base and launches himself onto your duvet.

“you’re so thoughtful,” you crawl in next to him and hook one leg between his own, immediately experiencing the glory of his body heat.

“i tend to think so.” there’s that silence again. sometimes peaceful, sometimes deafening, because you know there’s something left unsaid. so you open your mouth again.

“um, so, about the boobs thing,” you start and pause to swallow, realizing you must look like a nervous character on tv right now.

“it’s okay.”

“it is?” you don’t dare lift your head to look him in the eye.

“of course. it doesn’t matter to me. you’re still hot,” he pokes you in the side and you chuckle at him.

“stop it, you silly goose,” you joke back and you can feel the physical cringe his body does.

“and i love you no matter what,” it’s quiet, but you hear it, muffled by your cringe minecraft bedspread. you love him too.

[someoneinjersey]

11, 19, 21, 26 for the no good very bad horrible questions :^^))

(Just wanna hear you talk about ur pets lololol)

hellllllyeahbaby!

11: Do you like someone? Not any real actual person I've met lol. I don't encounter a lot of people and also I'm very picky and I've fallen into the trap of just thirsting after unattainable people because it's "safe". But like ... it also breaks my heart? But I also like ... use that as a form of self harm I think? LOL IM FUCKED UP. I do have a super handsome mutual that I'm always like haaaaay when he posts a selfie but yanno.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes. Absolutely yes even though everyone's like no don't do it you wouldn't be who you are today without those mistakes blah blah blah but absolutely 100% yes. I would be more outgoing, wouldn't give a shit, I'd spend more quality time with my grandparents, I'd see if maybe I could get my dad to chill or maybe not idk, I'd spend more time with my friend Lauran who passed when I was 12 and I'd call her back even though I didn't like talking on the phone. I'd ask Scott out on a date, very definitely flirt more with him in high school and if I couldn't go back that far I'd go back to the last time I saw him when he hugged me outside Wawa and I'd hold onto him so tightly, memorize his strength and his smell and his warmth on that cold morning before the sun came up and I'd make plans with him even if he was still going to die 8 months later.

That made me sad lmao but it's all true and from my Grinch heart.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Tomorrow there will be panic cleaning and panic gift wrapping because Kate's aunt and uncle want to come over for a tiny pre-Christmas Christmas because Kate has to work on Actual Christmas so we'll do some gifts and we have to send our gifts for Kate's brother and sister in law and niece and nephew with said aunt and uncle for Actual Christmas. And the house is a nightmare cuz I can't keep up with housework and also FOUR PETS MAKE A LOTTA STUFF HAPPEN. Then Sunday I'll be probably just like ... hanging out and wrapping Kate's presents that I didn't already give her oops and likely playing Stardew Valley a bit and making some nonsense for dinner lol

26: What are you craving right now? I was craving a non-specific night night snack cuz it's 3 am and i can't go to sleep with a rumbly tumbly but we don't really have snacky things rn? So I ate two microwaved hot dogs YAY HEALTH. I do crave motivation and discipline and the doing of something creative too, does that count?

Also none of these are about pets LOL

[despite-everything]

im sitting outside my partners apartment in my car and honestly i shouldnt have come. im pretty upset (with both of them, but one in particular) because of some shit and id been debating not coming down to see them (i live an hour away... i have a thing in this town tomorrow night, so rather than just driving down for that i was coming today so i could spend the night with my partners and enjoy time with them) and i convinced myself to visit anyway and i shouldnt have. if i didnt have to be in this town tomorrow id actually just turn around and drive back home. i thought itd be best if i still came because id be embarrassed to tell my dad (who i live with) why plans changed and im tired of lying about shit like this. i need to talk to my partners aboutthis because if nothing changes i will break up with them - i understand that these problems that are arising are due in part to mental illness, but its not fair to expect me to just have to adapt to shitty treatment because of it. we're all fucking mentally ill and if they can't improve their behavior after months of promising to them im just fucking done. this has happened to me so many times before in friendships and relationships and its fucking embarrassing!! if i was anyone else i'd be saying to break up immediately but i don't want to.

im just fucking venting here but i dont know who to even talk to about this other than my partners and while that's going to happen eventually im just like... im fucking upset. every few weeks, i drive for more than an hour each way to visit people who live in a town i used to live in. they rarely come see me. i spend money on food and gas when i do this and have to account for it in my monthly budgeting. i stay with people who say they have no plans and want to prioritize us spending time together, but when i get there, they almost always have made separate plans while i'm there that i am not part of, and rarely give me a warning so that i can adjust my schedule or make other plans of my own. i mention that this is an issue, they promise to do better, then they dont. i adjust to texting a few days in advance to check their schedule, and despite doing so,they consistently make or have "forgotten" other scheduling conflicts that they bring up either the night before i drive to visit or when i arrive. thats the scenario, right? this has happened to me before. last time, it was with my high school friends who continued to string me along until i decided that it hurt too much and i slowly backed out of the friendships. no one has reached out since. this time, it's my fucking partners. the main difference is that i have a key to my partners apartment, meaning im not stuck in my car/in parks when they're busy. but thats just so fucked up. especially since my partners used to encourage me to step back from my old friends who were hurting me this way.

im just venting so i can get some of this shit off my chest before i go inside. to my knowledge, one of my partners is inside napping, while the other is in some meeting they didnt tell me about until last night. i dont even know what the fucking meeting is about or where it is.

i dont want to go inside because... what? am i supposed to pretend everything is fine and hide my feelings so they dont feel guilty? thats not fucking fair. if i let my upset show, they're going to act like kicked puppies and im going to feel fucking awkward because i dont want excuses and i dont want groveling or a hundred "im sorrys". i dont want that. i want their fucking behavior to change.

[haeroniel-doliet]

So the drawings ive been tinkering on for... Almost exactly 2 months now, are getting a little more finished again! More update under the cut so i dont clog anyones dash :')

(i did start making a third piece that ties my whole idea together and that is being the biggest menace, despite me slightly slightly constantly trying to finish the first two to like any standard im happy with lmao)

So yay on some progress! Boo on that i desperately need to make more progress on real life stuff and im worried i wont have these actually done till november. Two posts a year kinda high speed artist here! And i did/do wanna do something or multiple little things at least for dinluke positivity thing in november! I wanna do a fun community thing! But everything i make takes forever bc im never happy with it and i got a lot else i should be doing. How do people do this?

Ok no but like im writing this publicly just bc i sort of wanna give an update and also bemoan the third piece :') the sketch so far is... Okay, the faces are good enough but the rest is so unfinished/unclean. Last two times i tried fixing it i just made it way worse so tonight i thought fuck it and put down the flat colours right. Turns out that just highlights how unfinished my linework was! So really im just debating. Do i go back and try my damndest to make good lineart for it, or do i take a page out of my adult art class and just actually more paint it in? Like screw the lineart im just gonna spend a long time tinkering with the colours for shadows and highlights and shape this out that way. It won't perfectly match the other two, but the faces have lineart and who really pays much attention to the other details??

Oh and i have still a mission set to make backgrounds for these. Yes im planning to trace over a google image of highschool lockers and not much else but thats still probably at least a nights work for me that im not hype for haha. They look good on plain background but i wanna at least see if the background could help make them feel more finished. Yknow? Make it worth it that ive been sitting on them for 2 months already

Its fine, its all fine, im gonna make the phonecalls i need to tomorrow and do other good admin things, then i can try to either start carving out the third piece in a painting style (back up plan if i hate it is to backpedal and do the lineart better, or make it over the top of it) and if thats going miserably ill just try and make the backgrounds yknow?? Ill make progress this weekend, maybe ill even say fuck it and post it without it being totally close to perfect (not super likely but imagine the relief of getting it out here finally??) So stay tuned and wish me luck!!

[raksh-writes]

Just a late night vent in hopes it help, feel free to ignore.

.

I went to bed early tonight, 'cause Ive barely slept more than 4-5h a night this week and I can Feel it, at my internship and then at home, barely able to think the few hours I have and swaying on my feet in the shower only to go to bed and then spend over 2h laying awake (as of now), like-- for fucks sake...

maybe it's because I got mad earlier, I had to wash my hair (a whole big, long affair), so I planned it a bit earlier before sleep at like 9 but turned out there was no hot water so I got pissed bcs then I had to wait almost an hour for it but I think I got over it, like I have no energy to be mad (enough to cry, tho, I guess, ugh), but I had to blow dry them before sleep so, dunno, is that why? I dont think so, but probably everything combined just got my brain on high alert and waved the sleep I Badly need goodbye. Worst is, if only I was Able to Fall asleep, Id get around 7h when I finally got to bed, but of course that didnt happen, fuck me I guess... at this point I even popped a pill Im pretty sure is gonna make me naouseus tomorrow and Im not sure its a good idea when I have less than 6h before my alarm but Im at the end of my rope tonight.

Fuck this, honestly, Im just so fucking tired...

[mycomori]

overwhelmed. trying to feel in control by planning for tomorrow. need vapes cause weed is like the last thing keeping me stable. wanna grab some groceries before therapy. gotta call the state about my insurance. i need to make this week count. i’m running out of time. i’m not ready for this. im panicking. fuck me man. i’m just gonna sleep early so i can wake early and hopefully get things done tomorrow cause that’s the only way i feel any sense of accomplishment. why couldn’t i have just gone to college after high school like a normal person? oh yeah because i was fucked uo and even if they won’t admit it my family was too and now things are better and i have the chance i didn’t have then but i still feel just as unprepared and overwhelmed qns like why does even objectively good things i should be excited about stress me out so much i start fantasizing about taking a nice walk down the road in the middle of the night w my eyes closed and headphones in

[billikatchoo]

deeper

i awoke to a pounding on my door, ripping me from a deep slumber and from a surreal and incomprehensible dream. i was beset with fear until i heard her voice. “Billiii, if you don’t open this door right now i’m leaving.”

i didn’t know what Terra was doing here, but i scurried to the door. even having only known her a few weeks, i couldn’t stand to disappoint her. adding to my disorientation, i realized as soon as i stood, or tried to stand, that i was still high from last night. the floor still rippled and waved like water, like sound. what time was it?

i opened the door and the sunlight flooded my apartment, filling the room to my eyeballs where it all drained into my swelling brain. i was dangerously dehydrated.

Terra was standing there, looking as tough and as tall and strong and beautiful as ever. her tattued arms were bare and crossed her body, muscles full of tension. a stern look occupied her face. she was having a really good hair day. “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

i didn’t know where to begin answering that. why was she there?

“what are you doing here?”

“what do you mean? we made plans. i made you a fucking picnic and you don’t even remember that i was picking you up?”

“i thought that wasn’t until tomorrow at five?”

“it is tomorrow at five, you jerk.”

it was? how long was i out? were my pills laced?

her anger echoed in my ears. daylight illuminated her hair. was it full of glitter? it sparkled and glowed orange as flames, continuously curling in on itself just the same. her freckles fell down her face, down her neck to her chest, continually shifting towards her center. she was so beautiful. i wanted so badly to tell her so, but i knew better. she already knew anyway.

“what’s wrong with you? are you drunk?” she asked me, angrily but with obvious concern. i said nothing. i was feeling too dizzy to navigate this. “are you fucking high?!” she rolled her eyes.

it hurt to disappoint her like this. i hadn’t told her about my drug use. i hadn’t told her about a lot of things. i felt so much shame about it, even if i did a lot to rationalize it to myself.

“i’m so sorry.” my eyes began to water and the saltiness burned.

“are you okay?” she seemed concerned, but annoyed.

i nodded. “i need water.” i turned to get some, but before i could Terra brushed past me, grabbing my arm and pulling me with her.

“what are you on? you need to tell me and for fuck’s sake tell me it’s not heroin.”

“it’s just a psych.” another eye roll as she handed me the water.

“which one? how much and when did you take it?”

“a full tablet of 3c. last night around 8pm.”

“then you should be fine by now.” she was clearly familiar with it. im not surprised. it was really popular with people our age. a standout of the new generation of designer psychedelics, it’s visually quite powerful and long lasting, but unfortunately habit-forming. god knows what was in it. i certainly never wanted to know how the sausage was made. but Terra was right. i should’ve been sober by this morning, and definitely shouldn’t have slept 14 hours. 

“they must be making it stronger now.” she seemed pensive, and her tone was ominous. “are you fucked up or really fucked up?”

“i feel groggy more than anything. but it’s really stuck in my eyes. everything is so shiny. expect you. you’re sparkly.” she laughed; it felt good to finally break the tension.

“how do you respond to it?”

“what do you mean?”

“some people have reported interesting and unique side effects. is there anything peculiar about your trips?” her curiosity was unexpected.

“well, there is one thing i suppose. but you won’t believe me.”

“try me.”

“it gives me prophetic dreams,” i said sheepishly.

“woah.” it was rare to see her taken aback.

“i know it’s silly, but…,” i hesitated.

“tell me.”

“my mother has claimed my whole life to have prophetic dreams too.”

“that’s fascinating.” she looked into my eyes intensely as she stepped closer to me. she was so intimidating. it made me blush. “let’s put a pin in that. do you want to go on the picnic still? can you eat?”

“i’m starving! what did you bring?”

“it’s a surprise. go get yourself cleaned up and we’ll go.”

i’m glad this blew over okay. i knew this was a normal thing in her crowd, in fact i’ve seen associates of hers openly doing much harder drugs. but i knew she was more a drinker than anything and always turned down offers for anything but weed and cigarettes. at least in public.

as i got dressed, Terra watched me from the kitchen. she did that more often than i cared for, but she still hadn’t asked to draw me yet. i wonder if she had drawn me from memory? i needed to know, but sure as hell wasn’t gonna ask.

“i know you said you wanted to go the beach, but i think it’s too windy out. how would you feel about going to the park instead? we can see the sunset from the hill.”

“good idea.” i shaved my face and brushed my teeth as quickly as i could. they were extremely unpleasant sensory experiences generally, but now especially so. i retied my braids and put on a cap.

***

the sunset was beautiful. perfectly orange and pink. the picnic was just as good, and i was thoroughly impressed. she made us sandwiches; on fluffy rolls we enjoyed salmon and tangy coleslaw. she brought hot sauce and strawberries and cookies. did she make it all herself? no, of course not. it was mostly store bought, but the effort she put into grilling salmon, knowing that it was a favorite of mine, and the money she spent on everything else was a more than sufficient show of affection. the slaw, she bragged, was actually made by a elderly neighbor of hers. they often bartered and this time in particular, she traded for a loaf of madehome sourdough. she even brought along a bottle of vinho verde, a Portuguese white wine she knew was my favorite. why did she try so hard to impress me?

we sat cross legged, facing each other on a brightly colored blanket i kept for occasions like this. in a lull in our conversation, her expression changed suddenly, a frown coming over her face. “Billi, we need to talk.” my heart stopped. is this why? did she want to give me one last nice meal before walking out of my life?

“Billi, you need to stop taking those psychs.”

“what? why?” i didn’t mean to get defensive, but she caught me by surprise.

“you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.” she had told me those words before, and she would tell me them again. “they’re more dangerous than they let on. the one you’re taking specifically… well it was made to be addictive. i’ve seen it ruin people before.”

“i’ve heard the stories of people losing themselves too.”

“no, it’s not like that. it’s worse than you think. these drugs are getting stronger and to what end? the path you’re on has an end somewhere and i don’t want to see you go there. i won’t let you go there.”

“Terra, you don’t need to protect me.”

“yes i fucking do you dumb bitch! you don’t even know how vulnerable you are.” to reinforce her point, she pushed me hard by the shoulders. i wasn’t really sure how serious this conversation was, i wasn’t really sure how angry she was. but after catching myself, i acted on impulse. i lunged at her and tried to pin her to the grass.

“don’t call me a dumb bitch, you fucking dyke!”

this was a mistake. even with me on top of her she easily regained control, using the slope of the hill under us to roll both of us over, several times over, until she was on top of me, one knee on my chest and both wrists pinned. she looked directly into my eyes, her expression blank, unreadable, but intense. she spit in my face.

“dumb bitch. you’re gonna stop using, do you understand me?”

i said nothing. she was so deeply serious.

“answer me!” this was the first i had heard her raise her voice. it shocked me to see her lose her cool. maybe i had come to mean something to her. maybe i wasn’t just another of her mistress muses.

“yes, i understand.”

“what are you going to do?”

“stop using.”

“stop using what?”

“3c.”

“and?”

“and what? what do you want from me.”

“what else are you using?!”

“i’ll get clean, okay?!”

“you had better. or we’re done.”

“yes ma’am.”

with that she reached to her back pocket. i began moving my left arm in response. “don’t fucking move!” with that i pinned my own arm back down. she pulled her switchblade from her back pocket and clicked it open. she held it to my neck.

“i know how you make your money.”

“what?” she must’ve asked around, found the right people who knew my business. maybe our circles had more overlap than i realized. i told her i did gig work as a welder, which was true, ostensibly. but it was hard to make ends meet just doing that, especially with a couple habits to support.

“i know you’re turning tricks, you whore. with men nonetheless? that’s disgusting.”

okay, she knew. i wasn’t doing sex work full time, but i knew the right places to hang out and i knew how to hustle some cash out of the attention i drew. “alright, alright! i’ll stop. i swear! just put the knife away.”

“yeah you’re gonna fucking stop. if i ever catch wind of you putting yourself on the line like that again, you’re dead.”

i paused, hoping we could de-escalate from here.

“you’ll obey me, you hear? you’re mine now. you belong to me.” with that, she moved the knife, slicing my neck. i realized immediately it was only superficial and i had no cause to fear for my life. in fact, strangely, i never had felt more safe. but as i felt the warmth of my blood begin trickling down my neck, she grabbed my hands with hers, gripping tightly with her fingers between mine. she put her mouth to my neck and sucked on the fresh cut. it hurt so good. in that moment i was ready to let her bite into me, ready for her to turn me, ready for her to take my life as her own.

when she pulled her head back into my view, i saw her lips were red with my blood. i had fallen for her already, but right then and there, i fell deeper. so much deeper, realizing that i could fall forever, that this was a void with no bottom for me to crash against. where would this lead us? i knew i’d find out in time.

after gazing into my soul, bloodlust in her eyes, my blood quite literally on her lips, she broke the silence. “kiss me.” i smiled; finally it was her turn to say it to me. “kiss me now, Billi.”

i tried. she still sat on my chest, still grasped my hands in hers. i couldn’t lift myself to meet her, but she laughed at making me try. “you’re mine now,” she repeated, before kissing me with more passion than i had ever experienced in my life.

after a moment, once my lips were free to speak, i had to ask. “are we missing the sunset?” i have never seen her smile so bigly as i did in that moment. i understood now that i could dedicate my life to her, if she would permit me, and i would be perfectly content. we watched the last few moments of this gorgeous sunset, sitting in the grass where we had landed, my back to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around my torso. the cold crisp air raised goosebumps under her tatus. i was happy to be protected from it by the weight of her leather jacket. i felt so warm and so protected, but excited by the possibilities that were ahead of us. i knew the coming months would be hard, but i could feel in my bones that they would set me on a new track that would come to define my life.

***

back in my studio, the reality of this new chapter in my life began to set in. we needed to talk it out. while she watched me undress, as she is wont to do, i decided it was as good a time as ever to start asking questions.

“so you’re familiar with 3c and drugs of that ilk?”

“yes, of course. why are you asking?” i knew she was hiding something from me.

“well, why? what’s your experience with it?”

“i tried it a couple times when i was still in school in Amsterdam. that was back when it first hit the market. you know a lot of those designer drugs come from over there.”

“sure but what do you know about it being addictive?”

“i had some school friends get captured by it. they were the ones who took to it too strongly and experienced almost paranormal side effects. it haunted them.”

“what do you mean it haunted them?”

“it gave life to their demons, which followed them, continuously, from there out. you can’t live like that. if your demons don’t catch up to you eventually, you catch up to them.” this seemed awfully cryptic, but i didn’t think she had any intention of giving me more detail. not now at least. but she continued, standing to hold my hands and speak face to face. “i have to level with you. as long as you’ve been using, quitting won’t be easy. you’ll be real sick for a few days. nothing unbearable, but you should stay at my place for the next week.”

“oh a vacation. that sounds nice.” i stood in front of her, fully nude. she held my hands firmly. “should i pack then? should i get dressed?”

she giggled, “yeah, get dressed girl.” she smacked my bare ass as i turned from her. “but i need to get some things. for you. it’ll take about a hour.”

“get what?”

“you’ll see.”

she left in a rush, leaving me with more questions than answers. like how did she support herself? i assumed she did some business with the gangsters i had seen around her, men i knew for supplying my community with all sorts of contraband. not to say she kept company with evil folk, the gang she rode with the fateful night of our meeting weren’t meth and cocaine dealers. at worst heroin, sure, but they were also our local source of black market hormones. and as far as i knew, they had nothing but a positive reputation. even their horse was well-reviewed. but they were thoroughly organized, and i wanted to know what her role was. it was unlikely she was just a hangeron. they discouraged hangerons. and i didn’t buy that she was an art student living off of scholarships. i had one hour to decide what to ask her and how to ask. i hadn’t come to a decision by the time she returned. not that it would have mattered.

i was smoking my last cigarette under the yellow light of stairwell when a red Ford pickup pulled up in front of my building. it was a nice old truck, and i was surprised to see Terra hop out of the drivers seat. she grabbed a duffle bag from the trunk and walked towards me, stopping in her tracks at the base of the stairwell once she saw me. 

“oh fuck man. you scared me.” she grinned, as the windy night blew furiously at her ponytail and the other loose strands of red curls. “you should be inside. it’s cold out here.” i was happy to tolerate it for a few minutes while i enjoyed a smoke. “here. gift number one.” she handed me a pack of cigarettes. i lost any obligation or desire to finish this one, so i stamped it out and followed her inside.

before i could ask about its contents, Terra began unpacking the duffle on the low, makeshift table between my bed and the kitchen. she pulled out a large rusty tin, dirt still caked to it, followed by a plastic wrapped package the size and shape of a brick, a couple pill packers labeled with her handwriting, a collapsible rifle and a bottle of wine.

“okay, what the fuck is all this? you want me to get clean and you bring a bunch of drugs and guns into my house?”

“relax, Billi. this is just weed.” she tossed the brick to me. “you’re gonna need it this next week.” it was about a pound, probably exactly a pound, which was much more than enough.

“and the pills?”

“this is just acetaminophen,” she said, rattling the bottle. “and this one is spiro since you said you’re running low. i got it from Tiger.”

“you know Tiger?” “yeah, everyone knows Tiger.” she said that like he was a local celebrity, but i suppose in a certain sense he was. a great guy in fact, despite the ferociousness of his name. i don’t know the origin of it, but maybe Terra did. i’d have to remember to ask about that sometime.

“you’re good on e, right?”

“yeah, Tiger gave me a deal last time so i stocked up.”

“good, good.”

“so what’s with the fucking gun?”

“it was with my stash. i wasn’t gonna clear the stash and leave it behind.”

“what fucking stash?” i was getting her impatient with her.

“this stash.” she handed me the big dirty tin. i didn’t take it.

“what is this?”

“just take it.”

“not until you answer me.”

“okay fine.” she tossed it back on the table. “it’s cash. i told you i don’t want you fucking around and i meant it. so this is to assure you won’t have to.” i was stunned. it struck me she genuinely cared, but maybe it says more about me than her that i’m continuously surprised by her shows of affection.

“how much is it? and why do you bury your cash?”

“well, wouldn’t you if you had any? i know you live off-grid. i think you can understand why i might.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i checked up on you. you don’t exist after you graduated. i checked under your deadname too. you disappeared years ago.”

this was true. i had made a point of being untraceable. after i was arrested in college, i knew i wanted to be hard to find. and with how i lived my life, it wasn’t hard to accomplish. i rented off the books, did all my gig work under the table, had no phone and no computer. this was before they were compulsory. i had a library card, but it was probably the only record in my name.

“well how much is it?” i said as i opened the tin. it was all small bills as far i could tell. but stacks of them.

“i genuinely don’t know. you gotta count it.”

“is it dirty?”

“nope, pre-laundered. for your convenience.” she looked so proud of herself, like she always wanted to flex her cash but never could.

“you need to tell me where this all came from.”

“fine,” she relented. “in college i discovered a certain precursor chemical that is used in a new kind of over-the-counter pain killers. they have become very popular in Western Europe and since the patent happens to be in my name, i earn a lot of passive income.”

“like a lot a lot?”

“like a lot.”

“well if you make so much money, why do you bury it all in cash?”

“no no. i make way too much to bury all of it. but i bury a lot for emergencies, and for tax purposes.”

“you don’t pay taxes on all of that?”

“fuck no! im not helping fund this bullshit empire and its horrific global death cult.”

“then do you have a Swiss bank account for all this money of yours?”

“no, don’t be silly, Billi.”

“well why not?”

“because the Caimans make for a much nicer vacation,” she giggled at her own wit.

“oh, really? maybe you could take me sometime, miss moneybags.”

“if we’re together for a while, yeah i probably will take you on some nice vacations.”

“oh are we together? is it official?”

“bitch, i told you. you’re mine now.”

“then tell me where. tell me about where you’ve been and where you’ll take me.”

it was nice to dream together. really nice. i still had a sneaky suspicion that she was withholding some important information, but for now i had some answers and i would readily choose to believe her. Terra had enchanted me. i mean this quite literally; there could not be a spell that exists which would make me fall harder. or maybe she did cast a spell on me? that hardly seemed relevant in this moment. the effect was all the same: she had me in her arms, had me ready to travel to the ends of the earth with her, had me gazing into her visage, losing myself in her soft corona of chaotic curls.

[ghost-proofbaby]

hi ghost i just got back from my day with my guy! im sorry to hear about eddie-coded guy 😔 hopefully you'll find someone more for you and more eddie-coded.

here is how everything the last few days went

so he visited me at work! He told me afterwards that he didn't tell me when exactly he was coming bc he wanted to surprise me 🥺 and i just followed him around for the 15 minutes he was there full on heart eyes 😂 but he got a coffee and he kept telling me how good it was 😂 and i got a hug before he left and it made working alone at night at a gas station as a 23 year old girl a little better bc i had that to remember if I died 🙃

But today I went to his house so we could go out to eat and all that. He gave me this cat crochet kit he bought for me 🥺 and when we came back I tried to teach him how to crochet and he managed a few chains but I think the hook was too small to properly teach him so I told him that I'd bring a bigger hook next time (he was like are you saying I'm too small and I'm like STOP OMG)

Well we went out to eat and we went to Barnes and Noble and looked at the music and the legos and I kept pointing out all the books I read. He lost me for a few minutes and he found me at the smutty romance section 🤦‍♀️ I pointed out icebreaker by hannah grace and was like I read that and he was like ooo there's hockey in it and I'm like Yes. Hockey. Just hockey in that book. 👀

On the drive back to his house we kept poking each other and he's like I think you're hitting on me and I said maybe and we kept poking each other and I ended up stealing his hat from him and wearing it for the ride back until he stole it back from me and then I stole it again 🤷🏻‍♀️

OH ALSO I made him and his family pumpkin chocolate chip cookies since they're always giving me stuff and I told him he wasn't allowed to die when he ate them bc he has diabetes. His mom liked the cookies. He said he was saving his for his lunch at work tomorrow so I'm expecting a review lol

We built Legos again big surprise and I kept telling him I was going to take one of his cats home with me and he said I wasn't allowed and I said well what if I trade one of my cats for her and he asked if he could have my cat (who is currently sleeping on my chest bc 7 hours without me is just too much for her 😂) and I was like no can't have that one if you take her I'm coming with her it's a package deal and he was like I'm okay with that 🥺 and he said that he and his cat are a package deal and I was being distracted by pictures of my cats on my phone lol so I didn't respond right away and he was like wow no response to that okay 😂

And he invited me to this Halloween party he's going to on Saturday but I work until 7 and I'm heavily debating calling off I mean no I'm not 👀 like do i have a costume? No. Can I get one that quickly? Possibly. Is there a high possibility I may end up kissing him for the first time while he is wearing a costume of kevin the bird from the movie up? Yeah probably. Am I okay with that? Yeah cause it's my fault he even got the costume in the first place 😂

And not to sound like a mega virgin again but when I left his house tonight he hugged me and he rubbed my back and the sweater I was wearing has this twist in the back so it's mostly just my bare back and OOF he touched my bare back and OOF 🫠

And also when I told him that I'd be working again alone tomorrow 🙃 he said he might try to visit me after he gets off work and I was like listen even just the prospect of you possibly coming to visit makes my day suck less 🤷🏻‍♀️

ALSO WHY HASNT HE KISSED ME YET GHOST! I KEEP THINKING HE WANTS TO! BUT I DON'T REALLY WANNA GO FOR IT CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW! NEVER KISSED ANYONE BEFORE! DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING!

I was really gonna try to hold his hand in the car but I chickened out 🙃 and then I was gonna try to kiss his cheek when I was leaving but I forgot about the plan when he hugged me 🙃 so that's my life. Gonna text him and ask when the party is Saturday if I can still work and go to it. Or I might just *cough* come down with something *cough*

Love, 🎸 anon ❤️

OH I MISSED THIS ONE BEFORE I ANSWERED THE OTHER ONE FUCK i still stand by y’all being way too damn cute 😭

as for why he hasn’t kissed you yet — i want to let you in on a major secret. he is probably just as nervous if not MORE SO. whenever guys struggle to make a move, they’re usually behind the scenes freaking out and over thinking it all just as you might be! especially when everything is as reciprocated as it has been between you two. i have no doubt based on the message i accidentally answered first tho that now that y’all have joked about it, it’ll happen!! i pinky swear!! 🖤

as for eddie-coded guy… life goes on 😅 i’m back on dating apps tho!! if anything this has taught me to get back into the dating world haha. i’ll find someone eventually, and until then, i’ll just keep writing in an attempt to manifest 😪