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#im so happy about this actually. made me feel happy again
cressthebest · 3 days
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 28
chapter 47:
1. 😟😶 no one even got to say goodbye. i- WHAT THE HELL??? FUCKING RIDDLE
2. i’m at least happy that remus, james, and pandora can all take care of each other during the games.
3. im actually highly worried about regulus being a death eater. too worried, actually
4. “Regulus realizes it as he sits there, never moving or doing anything at all, just breathing; he isn't scared this time. Not even a bit.”
reg not being scared makes ME scared
5. “He had planned to kiss Remus' mask one last time, and kiss Remus, too.”
of COURSE it’s ALWAYS wolfstar that tips the tears over. why does THAT make me sob???
6. oh shit. it’s a maze
7. “”Come now, surely you wouldn't harm me and little Draco, would you?"
"I'm going to give you one chance to run," Sirius tells her, holding still, "and take little Draco with you."”
LMAOO they both know she’s lying out her ass
8. “It's Mavis and Velvet; they'd done exactly as they promised they would. They found weapons, found each other, and they died together. Their bodies are splayed out on the ground right beside one another, curled close in death like the lovers they were in life.”
oh shit oh shit oh shit i’m starting to cry again. i feel so bad for them, but don’t blame them in the slightest. it’s what i would have done
9. “and there's just this quiet, momentary mourning and respect for two people who loved each other and decided, together, that they would not participate in a game as cruel and sadistic as this one. They went out together, in complete control of their own fate, and they never deserved anything other than a long life full of love.”
crying HARDER. this would be the turning point in the games for me. i shit you not, i’d start teaming up and trying to break out the fucking arena
10. “And then, unprompted, Regulus' voice rings out, nearly snarling. He's addressing the sky, the audience, the Hallows in a low hiss of derision when he declares, "When you take them, you take them together, and know that it's your fault."”
i know i’m quoting this whole little section, but it’s IMPORTANT and it HURTS and everyone in that arena is being human right now instead of trying to survive. they’re all united on the front that they’re human and understand what it meant to love
11. i’m not surprised that the “first” kill of the arena was made by sirius. especially since it was to save regulus
12. WAIT YALL ARE GONNA LAUGH AT ME FOR THIS!!! sirius killed twelve people in the arena the first time. just like how he was blamed for twelve deaths in canon. i. it took me too long to make that connection yall
13. oh CHRIST i forgot that they planned to kill marlene’s parents in front of her right before she went in the arena. i’m so sorry. i want to comfort her
14. “Someday, Riddle is going to fuck with the wrong person, and they're going to slaughter him, and on that day, the whole world is going to shine just a little brighter” 👀 side eye
15. sirius has too much trust in regulus and i understand why and i see that, but BABES you’re so wrong
16. “In fact, they're all eyeing him like they're considering just killing him now so they won't have to deal with the headache he is sure to be. He's so ridiculously fond of each of them, truly.” 😶😑😶 blink blink. my dear. you need therapy
17. i- eli got in the arena and took a GODDAMN NAP- no fucking way. that’s wild y’all
18. regulus hating the rain is so me. and i’m not even exaggerating. reg hates the rain and refuses to go in it. if i get wet from the rain, the second i get indoors, i start having severe panic attacks over getting wet. i don’t blame him in the slightest.
19. y’all. people have really got to stop challenging regulus. he says that he’s gonna kill a person or stab them with a fork or brutally maim them if they kill/insult james or sirius. and every damn time, people still test him. and every time, he goes through with it. why do people not believe him?? he SAID he won’t hesitate
20. the authors notes are literally me on the previous point (19):
“regulus: i am telling you explicitly what i will physically do to you if you do This Thing
everyone else: *does it anyway and is immediately shocked when he follows through*
like??? DOES HE LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF MAN WHO JOKES??? WHY DOES NO ONE TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY??”
😭😭😭 me fr
remember to respect zar’s wishes and fanfic laws! do not buy fics! do not repost crimson rivers on other sites. please and thank you.
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cheri-2047 · 3 days
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Could you maybe try high school Fem!Scaramouche hc with a huge crush on us but being super reluctant and shy about it?? :3
OKAY. I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN FOR SCARA OKAY PLEASE BEAR WITH ME 😭 also dude ure my first request thank u so much <3
so I didn’t know how to write this but THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT. Anyways basically I’m gonna write a bunch of headcanons then some scenarios under that
Please I’m so sorry if I mischaracterized him I really tried I SWEAE 😭😭😭
This is not proofread btw
WARNINGS: none, it’s all fluff :3
Fem!Scaramouche Headcanons:
HEADCANONS:
Fem!Scara would seem like extremely pissed off to everyone, but she would do small tasks for you that she never does with anyone else
Fem!Scara would do her best to not make it obvious that she likes you. (Even if that means accidentally hurting you with her snarky remarks)
Fem!Scara would be more quiet around you. She doesn’t become as arrogant or stubborn around you, well she would be but just not as much since she cares for you
Fem!Scara ime personally, I don’t think she would be much on physical touch, but if you hugged her she would pay your back and put her chin on your shoulder
Fem!Scara enjoys seeing you be passionate about things. She would listen all day to you and keep eye contact.
Fem!Scara would be very well at hiding when she’s flustered. Like if you’re play flirting with her, she would just end it like “…? What do you expect me to say to that?” When in reality, she’s really giddy inside
Fem!Scara would choose to sit beside you during field trips, or if you go to school via school bus. She says it’s just a coincidence (for field trips) but in reality, she really made it so you Teo sat together
Confession time:
Fem!Scara would be really pleased if you confessed to her first. She wouldn’t say yes immediately, (like instead of going “yes yes!!” She would be in disbelief)
Fem!Scara if she were to confess, she would spend a lot of time thinking how she would do it. She would worry if you said no and I feel like she would spend a week bringing herself down saying you’d never say yes and it’s a waste of time (no it’s not)
Scara enters the school earlier than usual to look for your locker. She had decided to just send a letter. Scara finds it and rereads his letter (for the 100th time today…)
“Dear y/n,
Before I say anything, if you were to say no that’s completely fine. I understand I am not the best, but the truth is, these past few months, I’ve started to develop feelings for you. I just didn’t say or do anything about it well..since I didn’t really want you to know or anyone really. I really really like you, but understand if you would just want to stay friends. Thank you for hearing me out.
-Scara”
SHe hesitantly folds it up again, leaving a candy you really like taped to it as he slips it in the gap of your locker. SHe can barely calm himself down but he goes back to the classroom.
As she sees you, she stiffens up, but tries to remain the same.
“Did she read it?”
“Has she even seen it?��
“Maybe I didn’t write long enough?”
“Ah damn it I barely wrote anything!”
She stares at her lap, not daring to look up. As suddenly when you tap hee table, you mention the letter.
“I saw what you left..”
She immediately PANICS clutching her skirt getting ready for a no. She just laughs it off as if it were nothing to hide that she’s actually a mess inside.
“Haha, well what d’you think?”
She tries to act cocky and stuff. But as you come to terms and conditions (when u say yes) she looks at you in disbelief.
“….is this a joke? Are you lying?”
As you say no it’s not a joke, she then stands up and taps your hand.
“Thank you…”
WOWWOWOWOOWOWOW THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL AHHAHAHAH. Anyways uhhh if anyone else wants to request smth, go ahead. School just ended so I have nothing to do for the next few months. Once again, my bad if I accidentally mischaracterized her. I really tried ok. ANYWAYS THANK U, U DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY REQUESTES SMTH FROM ME LIKE I KID U NOT I GOT REALLT HAPPY AT LIKE 6 AM😭😭😭 anyways thank u again omg I hope this was ok 😭😭
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omegamoo · 1 year
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yes i am aware i have requests im sorry i just have no motivation. so take jade and know ill get to real drawing tomorrow :)
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moeblob · 12 days
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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britneyshakespeare · 4 months
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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muppetbyers · 1 year
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idk man but i think theres such a connection between will being possessed in s2 and like 'what happens when my boy is gone' and will giving the painting to mike under el's name. just like... will being replaced and then replacing himself. and like his entire person was being replaced by the mf, but also everything that he said was from el with the painting and speech was intrinsically his and his alone. and how his arc since s1 has been about hiding but also being right there. and how its all tied to his queerness. and how ideally in s5 this should lead to will not hiding/moving on from his identity and his feelings, but instead embracing them.
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softshuji · 11 days
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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quasieli · 5 months
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I've just been feeling really sad today, the kinda sad that just sinks into your bones and almost feels at home in your body. I miss NY; I miss my friends, I miss my independence, I miss my city, I just miss my old life. I'll get back there eventually but it's so slow going that I can't help but just feel this melancholy in the moment. The last six months haven't been great. I hope 2024 will be much better.
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elisedonut · 3 months
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sudden itch to write a rare pair fic thats not Percy related
but like
the last time I did that it ended up becoming my top fic and lead to me deciding that you know... actually I hate that ship just out of spite so i'm not sure how good of an idea it is
maybe if i try like femslash or something super super rare with side characters or something
#using tumblr as a diary again#like is it healthy to feel that way?#no it's probably not but knowing that hasn't made the feeling go away in the months sense i posted it lol#like multiple people have asked for more for it but I'm ngl I'm likely never touching that ship again much less the fic itself#like if i even did decide to it would probably just be Percy and Viktor meeting#the whole reason it even became the ship it did was because I couldn't figure out how to write Viktor#But i don't think that's what people mean when they say they want more of it but maybe id be less annoyed if I did add a Percy/Viktor chapt#I feel like this is what those people mean when they talk about posting art you put your all into vs a doodle#because while i spent a hell of a long time procrastinating writing it i was never like actually happy with it#I just kinda wrote and posted it because I was running out of time and wanted to be done with it#which I think is part of why I find it annoying that it has like double the kudo's of everything else but it makes sense that it does#like it's a garbage fic yeah but its the main character and a fan favorite so ofc its going to get more attention#especially in comparison to the niche nonsense I make that I like more#will I ever delete it No I'm fire believer in not deleting things I've made because ive learned in my life i always regret it so#I just have to get better at writing so I can knock it off its horse >:)#or just keep adding extra chapters to Raspberry Muffin until it surpasses it lol#they only have a difference of 64 at the moment so its not impossible#I know im going to see this again in a few years and be so confused on why it bothered me so much i just know it lol
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infizero · 11 months
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ok guys i dont wanna be a hater but im gonna be 100% honest i didnt rlly like the nimona movie 😭 I MEAN IT WAS FUN. it was nice. but i feel like it was missing everything that made me like the original graphic novel and honestly by the last like 30 minutes i was kind of just waiting for it to be over so i could read the book again 😭 NO HATE TO ANYONE WHO RLLY LIKED IT believe me when i say i dont think it is bad or anything. but i feel like just sooooo much was changed that it didnt feel like nimona at all to me. idk how to explain it, im sure once i reread the book i’ll be able to put it into words since the original will be more fresh in my mind. i think it was good but as someone who was literally obsessed w the og graphic novel it was honestly kinda disappointing. but i dont rlly care honestly its still rlly cool it got a movie!! 
but in my mind at least it proves that some things dont need to be made into a movie. ppl act like movies are the best form a piece of media can take and if something gets made into a movie then that’d be the peak form of it. but i honestly think nimona works wayyyyyy better in its original graphic novel form. most of the early stuff is way more slice of life lowkey stuff that lets you get attached to ballister and nimona as characters and get invested in their relationship w each other, BEFORE all the angsty final act stuff happens. also there honestly was just a ton of stuff that felt to me like it worked better in the original, like jousting tournament thing instead of the knighting ceremony, nimona being captured and being forced to turn into her “true” form rather than this new version with it just sort of happening bcuz of Emotions, etc. also the movie suffered from a lot of pacing and tone issues imo but the former i think is just from that lack of the slow buildup of their friendship, and the latter is something that i think just worked better in the book. idk again I’LL BE ABLE TO SAY THIS STUFF MORE CONCRETELY WHEN I ACTUALLY REREAD THE BOOK but i dont remember there being so much jokes and goofy shit DURING serious scenes. like iirc in the original during serious scenes it was SERIOUS. but in the movie theres so many unnecessary unfunny jokes and stuff. idk IDK i probably just had too high expectations idk. anyways
#also im kind of mad they changed the ending i know it works similarly but like THE TONE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT#in the movie ballister goes back to the lair and you hear her voice and he gets all excited and goes ''HOLY SHI-'' and then it cuts to title#which seemed rlly lighthearted and played for laughs and srry but THE ENDING OF NIMONA ALWAYS MADE ME CRY SO IT LOWKEY PISSED ME OFF ToT#IN THE ORIGINAL. he wakes up in the hospital and the nurse like talks to him or whatever and then she comes in again and hes like ?? u were#just here. and shes like no?? and then he sees on the clipboard the nurse left behind the firsttime theres a shark drawing (or smthn)#clearly drawn by nimona. and you see his eyes widen and he rushes out of the room and he runs through a crowd desperately trying to find her#and then he sees her there. in the crowd. and he just stares looking sort of heartbroken. and she gives him a quiet bittersweet little wave#and then she disappears into the crowd. and thats the last you see of her#I FUCKING LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT ENDINGGGGGG IM ACTUALLY SO MAD THEY CHANGED IT#also sorry i will die mad about the climax THE CLIMAX OF NIMONA IS WHAT GETS ME EVERY FUCKING TIME.#THOSE PAGES WITH THE HUGE MONSTER AND LITTLE GIRL NIMONA JUST RIPPING INTO BALLISTER MAKE ME CRYYYYYYY DAWG THEYRE SO GOOD#idk. idk. i cant put it into words but just the overall vibes of the book are so much better imo. i think nd stevenson's style fits the#story reallyyy well and idk if the movie's style rlly does the same. also i wish the movie wasnt as sanded down like the original wasnt like#INAPPROPRIATE. it wasnt adults only. but it had a lot more like. blood and rude humor and stuff. and i miss that#i think the best way i can put it is. the original is the scratchy ever evolving style of nd stevenson it feels raw and unfiltered#and thats why i love it and why it moves me so much. while the movie is much more polished and round and soft and im gonna be honest:#I DONT LIKE IT! sorry. having my hater moment#<- lightheartedly again I DONT THINK THE MOVIE IS BAD i just think that by comparison the book is way better#still incredibly happy for and proud of the whole team that made the movie i think its awesome!!!!#just my personal opinion#serena.txt#nimona spoilers#<- idk if anyone actually needs this but jic
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months
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the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage
#i have never had a computer this nice lmao#i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything#either by physical skill or money or age or location#so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!#and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass#the dopamine rush. lmao#i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭#genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair#just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF*#seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK#bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright#and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing#i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!#can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY#FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM#INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT#like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers#i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit#i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them#i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!!#anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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thinkin back to the rggo story where mine saves daigo after he gets kidnapped because daigo thought kiryu was in danger and mine immediately scolds him for acting recklessly and daigo’s just ‘no one’s ever stood up to me before aside from kashiwagi’ and how that calls back to daigo’s Y0 substory where kiryu tells him only true friends will stand up to him and put him in his place and im--
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#snap chats#'i'm going to be normal' WELL I WAS LYING. LIKE A LIAR. WHO LIES.#ill go in my kitchen in a sec im just. I'm Just.#*gross sobbing*#rgg really made up for Y3's Everything by giving the rggo stories and im so serious about this#people I Am Also A Part Of People complained about not being able to see mine and daigo together much and see their friendship#and.... the rggo stories..... bro theyve been fueling me for months..... im so ill......#BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH THATS WHY I GET INSANE OVER DAIGO'S Y0 SUBSTORY TOO#like daigo just wanted- NEEDED real friends who would ACTUALLY be there for him for him#not for his status or money or any of that superficial shit#it genuinely makes me happy how dedicated mine is to daigo like No Shit but it's just. *crying*#i love how mine does tell daigo when he fucks up though i love that so much#like mine's such a funny character... he's so cynical yet when he gets the chance to pour his heart out he does#he meant it when he said he didn't take sharing a cup lightly and /i/ want to eat a cup because of it#THIS IS THE SAME SUBSTORY WHERE MINE BUYS A STOCK IN EVERY TAXI COMPANY LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#ALL OF THAT JUST TO BE ABLE TO FIND DAIGO#dear god dont get me started on the hamazaki/mine rggo story. oh my god it's THAT but 10 billion i'm going to throw up#i'm just. i HAVE to go into my kitchen or i'll end up typing another essay jesus CHRIST#LIKE AGAIN I FEEL LIKE IM NOT SAYING WHAT I WANT OR GETTING MY POINT ACROSS BUT AAAA#i just need everyone to know i AM still ill over them i just havent had time or many ideas to sit and draw/write something
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fangedtracks · 1 year
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just got done for the day and i have a raging headache :/
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pepperpixel · 2 years
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Me, after several years of feeling haunted by the fact that I know I used to be able to draw better. And I used to have fun and feel satisfied w what I created. Believing that my art skills and enjoyment deteriorated because of like. Age! Like my brain just rotted over time or something: messes around w settings after re downloading fire alpaca and turns off the toggle for “adjust brush size to pen pressure”. And fUCKING. REALIZING THATS WHAT ITS BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?!?!? I never ever ever correlated my getting a tablet to my decline in art cuz I was also in a huge depression then and that just seemed more likely to blame! Also cuz the tablet was cool! It made things easier! BUT FUCKING. TURNING OFF THE LIL PEN PRESSURE THING IS LIKE. GAH- IM DRAWING LIKE IM FUCKING 16 AGAIN!!!! LOOK AT THOSE LINES…!! ON THE 2ND & 3RD PICTURE.!!! THE STYLE. IM SHITTING MYSELF..! Like legit gonna cry actual tears of fucking joy about this… I had basically almost given up ever really being satisfied w my art again??? But I fucking….! I finally figured it out!!!!! Holy shit!!!!! * falls down on the floor and dies of relief *
But yeah….. anyway. Aside from the massive art revelation/return to form… This photo set is featuring more of me and Ghastjio’s ocs! Non-homestuck ones this time! They’re scientists doing research and experiments on dreams and the subconscious and such! They’re also def all slightly varying levels of evil/moral dubious… cuz. I cannot resist an evil doctor…. And they’re also. Definitely a polycule gGHG. Cuz. I also can’t resist that shit lol
Yellow = Dr. In
Pink = Dr. Somn
Blue = Dr. Nia
Add them all together! And It equals insomnia! And it took me!!! A ridiculously long time to realize that ghghg- Like several days after ghast first showed them to me lol, but! I got it eventually! That’s all that matters
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martyrbat · 1 year
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👍👍
#im bout to be whiny before getting nauseated at being kimda vulnerable and end up deleting this but just#shoutout to my friend (who was the only person i ever shared my writing with for over a year)#just telling me they've always just skimmed my fics AND infodumps because they dont care. like has read at most a handful of me talking &#usually skips any rare audio message that i sent when SUPER excited and made up drama to have an excuse to change topics#again. for over a year.#then getting guilt trippy when i was hurt by it until i apologize instead which !! lmao fuck ok !#its just... very hmpth :/ bc it eas already a shitty night and week of nonstop migraine. and then this#and taking into account im someone who NEVER blocks any of my friends tags or doesnt read and invest myself in their interests#even if i dont like it; i love seeing people (even strangers) excited and talking about what they like so of course im going to#at least watch them talk on it and/or actually research into it because i want to be able to understand their happiness!#and because its whats important to them !! i dont expect the same and im not shaming anyone for not doing the same its fine I guess#but to tell me? and to say they dont read my writing or give a single shit about me talking about something#when i always put 100% into their interests? am i that shitty of a writer and that obnoxious to listen to lmao#like i feel shitty for even being hurt over it and even venting because you guys arent here for that and its mean to force it on ur dash#and i dont want to be too whiny but also. jfc man#ill stay silly starting tomorrow and post about batmans balls or whatever. sorry for the vent just. bleh.#that ‘december please bro please im begging just a break please man’ post but its me throughout this February too apparently
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. ​don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
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