#im so tired of seeing them on my shelf

[m0e-ru]

severe severe severe severe severe severe severe lack of masc iznmi. masc attendant, even. this isn’t a shortage this is a straight up scarcity

[luveline]

hi honey bun! i was just having a thought about someone coming home after a night out, a little drunk and sleepy, just crawling into bed with the reader? n maybe trying not to wake her w cuddling and such? 🥺 im so indecisive and couldn’t choose between peter or one/poly marauders, but please also feel free to disregard if it’s not the one for you! kisses xx

Sirius tries to tell them to be quiet, but James is so drunk he’s going to wake up amnesiac and Remus isn’t far behind him. Sirius has a kinder buzz, opening and then closing the door for his idiots begrudgingly. “Shush. You’ll wake her.” 

“She should be awake I miss her so much I’m gonna throw up,” James says, all in one breath. 

“That might be the Guinness,” Remus laughs. His cheeks have gone pink. Sirius thinks it’s the cutest Remus has ever looked, and he gives him an affectionate smile that’s returned tenfold. 

“Be quiet,” Sirius says. A yawn comes suddenly. “Go sit down and have some toast or something.” 

“I definitely will throw up then,” James groans, bending over in the middle of the hallway. 

Remus, despite being similarly belligerent, starts doting on him. “You okay?” he asks, bending down with a similar sigh of pain. “Come on. I’ll make you a– a glass of water.” 

Sirius has spent the night with them, so he loves them, but he misses you too much to stay. He chucks his shoes vaguely in the direction of the shelf and starts up stairs. The walls move under his hand and the bedroom door proves hard to open, but he sees you and forgets that he’s drunk. You’re laying on your side curled into a pillow, arm curled around, one leg sticking out of the quilt. 

Sirius pulls the blanket back gently, remembers he’s wearing jeans, changes out of the jeans, and slides into bed in front of you. He slowly, slowly, pulls the pillow from your arms, wrapping his arm under yours and behind your back, the other just shy of your face. Beautiful girl, he thinks, a little woozy from having suddenly changed directions. 

You mumble and hug him weakly, fingertips tickling his side. 

“For fuck’s sake!” James says somewhere downstairs. “What is this?” 

“Water, Jamie,” Remus says, quieter. “You can’t have anything else, don’t be–” A sound and a laugh. “No, kissing me won’t change my mind.” More laughing. 

Sirius tugs your hand up to smile into your palm. 

“Home?” you mumble. 

“Mm,” he hums, eyes closed and heavy but his arm awake behind your back, pulling you closer to his front. “I told them to be quiet… didn’t listen.”

“You…” you’re still stuck in the throes of sleep, and forget you’re talking. Sirius laughs a huff and you blink. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. Everything was okay. Next time I’ll stay home with you,” he promises, rubbing his nose into your cheek. 

“I liked being alone for a bit, but… missed you in the end.” 

Footsteps start up the stairs. “Sorry for waking you up,” Sirius says. 

“S’okay. Make them be nice to me.” 

That’s easy. As the door begins to open, Sirius pulls you right into his chest, as close as you can possibly be, and shushes you gently. Remus’ laughing swiftly ends, and James says, “Oh no, what’s wrong?” in his softest tone. 

James climbs over the bed still in his shoes. Remus grabs him before they can touch the sheets and takes them off, and then James crawls up behind you and hugs you, Sirius’ arms included. “Hi… my angel.” 

You ignore him with a disgruntled whine. 

“Sorry we were so loud.” 

You whine again. 

“Do you want Remus instead?” 

“No. I don’t not want Remus,” you clarify. “I’m not mad at you. Stay here.” 

Remus falls rather drunkenly in behind Sirius, forcing everyone to move over. You look for him in the tangle of arms and blankets, everyone Sirius loves rammed into one bed and exhausted. 

“Is anyone in the mood for a kiss?” James asks.

“Too tired,” you mumble. 

“Too far away. Make it up to you in the morning,” Remus says into Sirius's shoulder. Sirius is having a hard time following the conversation, distracted by the smell of your perfume and all the skin pressed to his. 

James sighs forlornly. “Fine.” A pause. “Sirius?” 

He snores. 

[winstonsns]

the gang with a soc!reader

authors note: sorry the last one was kind of all over the place. i tend to ramble when i write so ill try to stay more on topic this time. in this preference, you and the characters will already be a couple :3 im also wondering if people are clicking the hashtags then they see my posts?? so if that’s what’s happening and you can see my posts when you click the hashtags please tell me because i have no idea if it’s working LMAO

includes: ponyboy, johnny, darry, soda, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 2.0k

warnings: mild cussing, mentions of fighting/getting jumped

PONYBOY CURTIS

you both are academic BEASTS so you’re somewhat rivals and trying to get to the top of the class

but you’re still together, it’s a healthy relationship

most of the time, you’ll actually walk him home from wherever you are since it’s safe for you to walk home on your own, but since he’s a greaser it’s not safe for him

when you met the gang they taught you how to fight in case some greasers or even some socs tried to fight you

by walking him home, you’ve actually prevented him from getting beat up

you like to take him out to get food or something he wants when he gets a good grade since he gets happy when they’re high

sometimes you’ll get lower grades than him and you two will study together, or reversed

you’ll get him a new book every time he finishes another one, by the end of the year he has a new shelf just filled with books you’ve given him

you occasionally read him to sleep when he’s having a hard time, or again reversed

he falls asleep pretty quickly when you do this and he really appreciates it

you always sit together during assemblies and choose to be each others partner in the classes you have together

if you don’t decide to do track one year you’ll go to his meets, and after you always take him out to eat since you’re proud

if he’s extra tired then he’ll ask to go home so you will

you learned how to cook so he can have big nice meals, along with baking chocolate cake when soda and darry aren’t there to make it

pony thinks you make it better than darry but will never tell him that

he really loves spending time with you and feels like you’re the first person besides johnny to really understand him

you made him think about socs in a different way too, in a good way

yall are just humans doing what you know best, some in different environments and had different parents with different parenting styles

you like to bring him to the best places in tulsa to watch the sunsets

you also get the best polaroids of the sunsets and the colors are so beautiful

JOHNNY CADE

as soon as he told the gang that he was dating someone they were excited for him, then they found out you were a soc

dally told him to break up with you without even knowing you, johnny told him to give you a chance

when johnny invited you to the curtis house to meet his friends, you brought presents for all of them since you wanted to make a good impression

you had your ways about finding what they like and don’t like

they immediately took a liking to you when you gave them presents and a kiss on johnnys cheek

you’d patch him up and give him bandaids to take home after getting beat up by socs or his parents

sometimes you’d give him money and he would use that money to get you something you’ve been wanting for a while

he’s always so thankful for everything you do for him and everything you give him

since your parents don’t really care about the differences between greasers and socs, they let johnny stay over since they know things are rough at home

sometimes they’ll take you and him out for dinner with them and you think it’s so cute

he was nervous your parents wouldn’t like him since most of the socs parents would think he’s gross

he’s always proud of you for naturally getting good grades and seeing the smile on your face when you get your report card

sometimes when he’s upset you two will cuddle in your bed or you’ll drive him to a restaurant or fast food place

he always feels bad about spending your money but you tell him not to feel bad about it since you have more

DARRY CURTIS

things got more financially stable when you came into his life

you’d help him pay groceries and the bills if he was struggling, you also helped around the house

sometimes he’ll wake up to the smell of bacon, waffles, eggs, etc and suddenly its like he doesn’t have to be the responsible one 24/7

having you in his life has improved everything, and his brothers are so thankful to have you there too

you’re like a mother to them and they’re comfortable enough to open up to you

sometimes you’ll ask him out on cute little dates randomly just so he can get a break of hard work

he’ll take the day off and get all dressed up since you told him you were taking him to a really fancy restaurant

occasionally you’ll get your nails done just for your dates and he always notices

you’ll ask him “which color is better” and he’ll say “aren’t they the same?” then you have to explain to him that one is darker than the other

he still doesn’t see the difference but chooses one anyway since he likes to see you happy

he’s literally so in love with you and how you’ll do romantic and domestic things for him

you’re so beautiful and perfect in his eyes, and sometimes he’ll stare at you and his brothers will tease him

he really loves being around you and having you by his side

you also helped him become calmer, that pony and soda have their own problems and darry yelling at them probably just makes them scared

he starts to actually communicate with them and you’ll give him gifts for completing or succeeding because why not

he’s always like “hon, you didn’t have to get me this…” but you can see he’s happy with whatever you give him

he just loves you so much and his brothers love you too but obviously not romantically

SODAPOP CURTIS

people actually think the both of you are socs, i mean they’re half right

they think soda is a soc since he’s so handsome and think you’re a soc because of your mannerisms and how you’re very beautiful

you’ll always visit him at the DX just to hang out with him

your parents love him and how he treats you so they also let him stay over at your house

sometimes when it’s sodas turn to get groceries from the store, you’ll go along with him

he just wants to be around you whenever he can

you’ll offer to pay for the groceries plus stuff he doesn’t need but instead wants

once he got a pimple and he freaked the fuck out

you bought him some cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen and pimple patches

you taught him how to use them and when, and in which order to use them in

his pimple went away in a few days

since you’re so smart and get good grades, you’ll help pony with his homework sometimes

soda will stare at you helping him from far away, he thinks it’s adorable that you two are bonding

when the two of you are in your room, you’ll play frank sinatra and the little dippers while having a home-date with sweets :3

you two have so much fun and he even opens up to you about his problems

you offer to get him a therapist but he says it’s that bad, you tell him to talk to you if he wants to talk about it again

he legit treats you like a princess and you love it

yall are the most attractive couple EVER no one can tell if they wanna be you or be with you

DALLAS WINSTON

when he realized he liked you he knew he had to protect you with his life

he needed a break from loud and annoying girls, then he found you

you could get quiet at times and you weren’t constantly screaming and acting like an annoying 12 year old boy

you got him to steal less since you could pay for things on your own

he didn’t really listen and still stole money from other people so he could get you things

whenever he got put in prison you could always bail him out due to the money you have

if he had to serve time then you’d give him money so he could spend it and get necessities

you’ll also make diy crafts for him on your guys anniversary and his birthday

he brings you to meetups with the gang, and they love you being there with him

you spoil him rotten and he loves it

makes him feel like a princess, weirdly enough

he’ll steal money to spoil you too, pays for your nails sometimes

you told him you wanted specific flowers once and he got you flowers sometime the next week, he acted nonchalant about it but he loved the happy look on your face

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

sometimes you’re quiet but he always finds a way to bring you to tears after laughing so hard

he’s literally the funniest person you’ve ever met

he never really expected a soc to get so loud since they were normally reserved and didn’t talk to many people

anyway you brought him to fucking disneyland once and he LOVED it

you booked a hotel and everything so yall saw mickey mouse

two-bit kinda laughed at him but he seemed happy so he didn’t care

he loves traveling with you and brags about it to the gang all the time

they say it’s cool then act like they don’t care but they’re kinda jealous he gets all that stuff

they’re happy for him though

sometimes you’ll get him little mickey figurines and he’ll put them on his nightstand, sometimes even carry it with him if it’s a keychain

he never would’ve expected a soc to be so nice to someone like him

he’s really glad that you love him and you show it

STEVE RANDLE

before you two started dating he tried to avoid you at all costs

he kinda thought you’d beat up him and his friends so he just stayed away from you

anyway when you guys started dating you’d drive him to the DX

you’d give him tips just for fun even if you didn’t buy anything from him

you’d buy him all sorts of little trinkets and such just so he’d have something to mess around with

i don’t have a lot of knowledge on him bro pls bear with me LMAO

he’s almost always with soda so you kind of became his best friend naturally

you’ll buy steve food on his breaks and drive him to restaurants or fast food places and you’ll eat on a bench or in a field together

you talk about some shit that happened at work while he listens

he’ll occasionally get you some food since he knows you like sweets

then you repay him with something he’s wanted for a while that he’s been asking for

whether it’s a book or food or a trinket idk

he loves you so much and is glad soda gets along with you so well

sorry this one’s shorter! i’ll try to make the preference longer next time. i’m gonna try to post at least twice per week but if im feeling good ill try to post more 💗 thank you for reading!

[heeliopheelia]

"was that your first kiss?" (heeseung x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.7k requested by nonnie ♡

a/n: last heeseung drabble for this event!! i had so much fun writing this, i'll probably expand this idea a little more in the future!! im so tired im falling on my face rn so i'll do a grammar check tomorrow!! 🤍

masterlist

It's hilarious, really, how your campus' it boy Lee Heeseung seems to be absolutely smitten with you.

With the mentioned above man hot on your heels like a shadow, you try your best not to get distracted and keep putting the pile of books back on their rightful place on old shelves. Paying no attention to his stubborn tailing you, you bite back a smile at his soft grunt when he stumbles into another table corner for the nth time this hour.

Without no words needed anymore, you hand him one of the books and he automatically slides it onto the top shelf where you can't reach.

This has been going on for about two months now – you spending your afternoons helping the elderly campus librarian putting back the returned books, and Heeseung entertaining you with his presence as he relentlessly tries to work for this date with you that he's been yearning for for such a long time.

"Are you free this Friday?" He asks suddenly and you send him a glance. He leans one shoulder against the tall bookshelf and beams at you. "We have a game at 6, you have to come. I won't be able to make it into the hoop without seeing your pretty little face cheering on me from the stands."

"Sounds to me like you're not that good of a player if you won't," you bite back playfully but don't say no to his offer. The both of you know well that you'll come just as you did the last five times.

Heeseung's smile broadens as he closes the distance between the two of you a little more. "Every athlete needs a lil something to get them going. In my case it's you, my muse."

You can't help but scoff at his blatant flirtation and with a shake of your head you take a step back in an attempt to get a hold of your hammering heart again.

And with a yelp, you trip over the bag that you've carelessly tossed to the floor some hours before, and stumble forward – straight into Heeseung's chest. Not wasting any second more and risking the chance of you backing away, he takes the opportunity of having you this close to him and cups your chin with his long fingers, only to lean down and plant a kiss right on your lips. You freeze in your place, stunned with the sudden new feeling as you heart nearly beats out of your chest.

He pulls away to check up on you, hoping he didn't cross any of your boundaries, but when he sees your sparkly eyes looking at him with such astonishment, face flushed so fucking adorably, he can't help but mold your lips back together again. He nibbles at the plush of your lip gently, thumb sliding to your chin to tug it down slightly and allowing him to deepen the kiss a little more.

There are no thoughts present on your mind other than Heeseung and his stupidly charming smirk and his stupidly confident attitude and his stupidly handsome face that never seems to leave your mind for even a second.

When he pulls away, he's met with your stunned face, eyes fluttering open and gaping right into his. He bites back a laugh as you remain speechless, a fat blush arising on your cheeks.

"Was that your first kiss?" He ends up asking, hand reaching up to brush the stray strand of hair out of your eyes. When all you do is nod your head sheepishly, eyes desperately avoiding his, he lets a wide grin spread on his lips. "Yeah? I was your first?"

You smack his arm gently and feel your ears burning when he catches your hand and intertwines it with his one.

"Shut up." You say and the quiet mutter squeezes at Heeseung's heart mercilessly.

And, god, he's so pathetic. So in love with you that if his teammates caught him in such state, he probably wouldn't hear the end of it until the day of his graduation.

"So you'll come? Right?"

With a roll of your eyes you close the distance parting your faces and mumble into his lips, "Yes, you idiot."

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi @nichoswag @s00buwu @dazzlingligth

[hischeapcigar]

the rock in our throats

Pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem reader

Summary: Joel and Y/N face the society reacting to their age-gap. 

Word count: 7.2k

Warnings: MISUNDERSTANDING-TROPE, ANGSSSTTTTT, SMUT SMUT (these are definitely not in order or you’ll be spoiled) MDNI 

a/n: im back with another Joel fic!!!! This is a whole rollercoaster so buckle up!!! Also know that Snow, Lace girls) and Lock (boy) are three of my OCs, I named them after inanimate objects just so they don’t offend anyone with the same name. <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated. 

Feet with their mind of their own carried you downstairs with a speed of light. You had heard Joel’s truck pulled in the driveaway, causing you to abandon the book you were reading to keep your mind from racing about his arrival. 

Just as your feet planted on the floor, your eyes fixed on the door as it slightly pushed open revealing the man you had hopelessly fell for two years ago. He hadn’t acknowledged you as he quietly shut the door. Turning around, the pair of warm brown eyes set on you, when he sees you standing there in your pajamas, adoringly staring at him, his face softens. 

He dropped his bag, a sigh of relief escaping his lips and within a heartbeat you launched yourself at him. Arms flying around his neck as his hands gripped your waist, steadying you. 

“Missed you so much” you mumbled in his neck. He tightened his grip on you at the admission. 

Joel had been to San Antonio for a week to negotiate a contract with a customer.

“Me too, baby,” he whispered, bringing his right hand to stroke your hair

You pulled away as you realized he must be tired, but before you could ask anything, he pulled you into him,

 “Shouldn’t have stayed up, ‘s late” he placed a kiss on your lips that you were quick to deepen. You sighed as he lightly bit your bottom lip. 

“Mmm, couldn’t sleep without knowing you made home safe,” you smiled up at him, “you hungry?” 

He shook his head no, loving the way you treated him like a child and cared for him.

 “Not hungry, back pain ‘s all, wanna sleep” 

You smiled drop as he gently tugged you towards the stairs. Your small hands in his much larger ones. He led you to the bedroom you shared for the past month,

Moving in with Joel after almost two years of hidden relationship was a way to make it official to everyone that you both were together. Though whatever you had anticipated could happen, did happen; continual discussion of your age difference, about him being divorced, about you being naive, about him being a father. 

Given that you both placed a high priority on your relationship, you hadn’t truly heard the gossip by your own ears. However, you had observed the glances that were directed towards you on two separate occasions when you and Joel were present at the mart.

His steps halted in front of Sarah's door, “she was good?” he asked over his shoulders. 

You nodded your head, “Joel she’s not a kid, of course she was alright,”

He pulled you in the bedroom, as you continued, “Plus i think since i moved in, we’ve bonded even more” 

Joel was quick to introduce you and Sarah once you both had confessed the love to each other. And Sarah was quick to welcome you in her life. It was perfect among you three. It was your perfect world. Except that you had to face the world outside your bubble, which was a little too far from perfect. 

 Joel turned around to peck your cheek, “so proud ‘f my girls” 

My girls. You smiled

You were his. You belonged with him. With them. The fact still released butterflies in your stomach. 

Joel took off his shirt and winced. Your facial expression displayed a distortion of worry which Joel was quick to observe, “back’s hurtin’ is all, don't worry,'' he smiled as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, pulling your forehead close to his lips to place a chaste kiss. 

“We need to get some gel, Joel” you reminded him

-

This is how you found yourself standing in the mart, in front of the shelf with gels. You had dropped Sarah school before heading here. Joel was asleep when you both left. Sarah wanted to meet her dad but you suggested that she lets him get enough sleep and meet him when she returns from school, to which she happily agreed.

Skimming your eyes through the rack, you found the one you were looking for, Voltarol. You grabbed one and walked toward the counter. You picked a few snacks on the way there. 

“y/n?” you heard a lady call your name

Turning around, you met none other than the most gossipy woman of the town, Nancy. 

“Hi!” you put on your best fake smile to greet her

“Whatcha got there?” she asked, eyes already prying your arms. You could have taken a basket but snacks weren’t planned. 

“Oh, just snacks” you shrugged, you kept your answer short, avoiding the long conversation

“And, what’s that? A gel?” she asked earning a groan from you, 

“Yeah, Joel’s got a back pain so i figured-”

“Of course!” she exclaimed startling you

Looking at your furrowed brows, your confused stance she continued, “I mean,” she sang, “Joel’s old. Don’t you think you’re too young to settle for that old man and tend to his back pain?” 

Your heart sank at her words, and more at the amount of venom that dripped from that single sentence alone. 

“Don’t you think you’re a little too nosy in others’ decisions?” you spat as you moved to the side, 

“Jeez, relax! You’re turning into an old grumpy woman. Maybe something about the company-” 

You left before she could say more. The longer you stood, she would’ve fed you with her sick mindset. 

Of course Joel was old. But that never lessened the love you had for him. You had been with guys around your age and all you ended up with was a broken heart and then came Joel, treating you like a real gentleman would.

You both took sufficient time to make a decision about living together. Your relationship being a secret never attracted comments but once the news spread through the town about you and Joel living together, every other mouth was murmuring about you both. 

Staying in most of the time had its perks; you never found out about all the gossip. But it could only last so long. 

You paid the cashier before hurrying to your car. Settling in, you took a  few deep breaths. 

She’s just being mean. I won't let her ruin my day. Her words don’t mean anything. Joel and I love each other, that's what matters the most. 

As soon as you closed the door, entering the house, you were met with silence. Joel‘s still asleep. 

Placing the snacks on the counter you climbed the stairs, a gel in your hand, and a planned massage for him in your head. You opened the door to see Joel lying on his stomach. With his moments you could tell he had woken up and then his voice sounded, 

“Where’d ya go?” eyes closed, he muttered, his voice hoarse. You crossed bed to stand on his side, 

“Dropped Sarah, and picked this” you grinned, showing him the gel 

He squinted his eyes to read the label, “darlin’ you didn’t have to” he turned around to lay on his back. 

“Of course, I had to!” you tapped his legs, urging him to sit up. He obliged without any protest and god did you love it when he was submissive to you, knowing the outside world would never see this soft Joel. 

“Still hurtin’? You asked as you noticed a slightest distress in his face as he sat up

“A little” he grunted

You tugged at his shirt, “off” you demanded 

“You don’t have to-” he looked up at you as he rubbed his eyes

“I know, Joel. I want to” you softly cut his sentence 

He layed back on his stomach again as you straddled his legs. Just having him naked except for sleeping boxers, totally submitting to you, sent a tingle down your core. But you ignored it. Your only focus was to make Joel feel better. 

You squirted some gel on your palm, setting the tube on the side, 

“I’ve never done this before,” you warned him,

“Neither have I, honey,” his muffled voice giving rise to a small giggle leaving your lips

You carefully splayed your hands on his lower back as you spread the gel. the delicious combination of the hotness of his skin mixed with the coolness of the gel stirred something in your stomach, 

Focus. Focus. Focus 

You pressed your fingers in his muscles, feeling the knots. He moaned at the relief. 

“Felt so good,” he muttered, 

You continued massaging his back, digging your fingers wherever you felt the stress. Taking notes of and following what brought him pleasure, you moved your small hands through his back and shoulders. Occasionally scratching his back with your nails and pulling the sounds of pleasure from his throat. 

All the sounds he made did not help, but only worsened the condition between your legs. You felt giddy, knowing you made him feel this good. 

You only prayed that the wetness between your legs didn’t seep through your thin pajamas and on his skin. Because this was about him and him only. Completely oblivious of Joel's situation underneath you, that after a few digs and dips of your fingers he started getting hard and by this time he was rock hard. 

“Baby” he breathed, “st-stop” he started to move, his cock taking control of his brain, 

You were startled, immediately getting off of his legs, “did- did i do something wrong?” you asked innocently,

He laid on his back as he stared at the ceiling, his breaths heavy “no darlin’, you did a good job, ‘s jus’-” he huffed as he took your hand and placed it on his member

Your mouth hung open as you felt his cock through his boxers, your mouth salivating just at the imagination,

He looked at you, waiting for you to say something, 

“Good thing I know how to take care of that too,” you smirked as you moved to hook your fingers on the waistband of his boxers as you slowly, teasingly, slid them down, closely watching his reaction change.

“That’s my gir- mmph”

 As soon as his cock sprang free from its confines your gaze immediately left Joel’s. 

His angry reddened tip, decorated with beads of his precum stood hard. You wasted no second in stradling his laps. Your petite fingers wrapped around his member, thumbing on his tip; spreading his leak through the length. You pushed your hair to one shoulder as you bent forward, maintaining eye contact with Joel’s hooded eyes, you kissed the tip, earning a strangled moan. 

You smirked, loving the effect you had on him. His eyes begged for more. You hollowed your mouth, taking his length in your mouth. Your fingers toying with his base. The taste of him was the first taste of your day. His hand made its way to your hair, guiding your mouth; in and out.

“Jus’ like that, baby” he praised 

 He grunted when you twirl your tongue around him, his cock twitching letting you know he’s close. 

“Such a good girl, f’ me,” you watched his eyes closed as he bucked his hips in your mouth, losing himself in the pleasure. 

You quickly removed your mouth, saliva spilling from the sides of your lips, 

“Eyes on me,” you demanded and god did that turn him on 

“Y-yes mami, please continue” he struggled to keep his eyes open, with your plush lips wrapped around his thick cock. 

He guided his cock to your throat causing you to gag. He smirked, repeating the action until tears spilled from your eyes. He used his free hand, gently wiping the tears. 

Perfect combination of rough and soft

You were soaking wet at this point, his dick in your mouth, hand fisted in your hair, and his sinful moans and grunts in your ears. 

He guided your head away, as he manhandled you and in a split second your positions were switched. You gasped as your head hit the soft pillow while Joel towered over you, on his knees. 

“That…was impressive” you breathed as Joel connected your lips in a feverish kiss.

“I’ve still got some strength y’know,” he mumbled as he pulled away slightly before he captured your lips again. It was nothing soft and slow but all teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. 

You would've just giggled at his response but instead you felt a pang of hurt in your chest, 

Joel’s old. Her voice rang in your ears as you blinked your eyes to focus in the moment

Joel grumbled tasting himself on you. Too lost in the kiss you missed when his hands slipped to your sides, pulling down your pajamas and panties in one swift motion. 

You broke the kiss, “Joel” you took a deep breath, his eyes finding yours, waiting for your command, “fuck me wreckless” 

His smirk grew at the command, “yes, m’lady” 

His fingers found your cunt in an instant. You moaned at the contact of his calloused fingers with your aching center. 

He circled your clit a few times before plunging his middle finger knuckles deep without a warning, 

You screamed, “of fuck, Joel-” 

“M gonna wreck you, darlin” he grunted as he drove his finger in and out while his thumb pressed on your pussy, making you squirm, 

“Nngh feels so good” you moaned, 

“So needy, huh?” his eyes glued to throbbing pussy and the juices it squirted, 

He added another finger, building the pressure and maintaining the pace. You felt the knot in your stomach tightened. 

“Close, mmh Joel, i'm close” you struggled to speak, your knuckles turning white as your gripped the sheets beneath you

You arched into his touch, your legs started to tremble as you felt the climax reach. He used his strong free arm across your stomach to keep you in place as he assaulted your cunt. 

“Cum for me, darlin” 

And you did, right then and there. You closed your eyes as you screamed his name like a prayer,

“Look at me” he ordered and you blinked away the tears that had formed in your eyes to obey him, 

He held your gaze as he lowered his mouth and lapped the juices you had released. He devoured it as the first meal of the day,

“Taste so good,” he mumbled more to himself

He drank every drop until you finished. Your chest heaved as he climbed on top of you and connected your lips,

You both moaned in unison as you tasted yourself on his lips, 

“Ready?” he asked as he guided his cock to your entrance

You nodded your head, 

“Words” he spat

“Yes, yes Joel, I'm ready!” you whined, 

And he slipped in, inch by inch until he was balls deep. 

He had fucked you countless times but his size always surprised you and your pussy always hugged him like the first time. 

“So fuckin- tight, this pussy,” he grunted as you adjusted to the size

“Move” you croaked and he obliged, setting a slow and steady pace, 

“My pussy,” thrust “mine to ruin” thrust, harder, “mine to love,” thrust, harder and faster, 

Your walls clenched around him at the words, at the possession, 

He had picked up the pace, fucking into you relentlessly. It wasn’t usual he fucked you this hard but you asked for it, and you were glad.

“So thick” you breathed

He sat on his knees as he wrapped your legs around his waist, holding you there, pounding into you through a different angle, brushing your g-spot everytime. 

“Right there, yes” you bit your bottom lip, 

“Don’t hold back, darlin’ let me hear you” his pace was unbelievable, you felt nothing but him. The coil tightened in your stomach, it was embarrassing how quickly he was pulling another orgasm out of you, splitting you in half,

“Joel, can i cum–” 

“Not yet darlin” he stuttered

The feeling was a lot, you tried your best to hold back. The feeling of his cockstretching your walls, his balls tingling your inner thigh in every thrust. Your thighs twitched, as he held them tightly around him, 

“Joel, please-” you begged, 

His thrusts started to become sloppier, his cock twitched inside you and he nodded, 

“C’mon baby, milk my cock,” he urged

That made you trip from the edge and you came, harder. Your mouth forming incoherent words between his name

He never stopped his movement throughout your high, only when you were done did he spill his seeds, covering your insides with his release. 

He let go of your legs as he collapsed over you, making sure to shift his weight to his elbows

He looked ethereal, post sex suited him so well. His skin glowing with sweat and morning light. His brown curls were a mess. He placed a lazy kiss on your forehead, then lips, “you ‘kay?” he whispered

You nodded, too blissed out to reply verbally. Too much in awe of his soft, sweet side. 

He pulled his cock out and you both winced. He pecked your overstimulated cunt once causing you to shiver before he left for a cloth. 

He cleaned both of you, murmuring praises on your skin as he wiped your legs. 

“Wrecked ya, huh?” he said as he observed your fucked out state, 

You hummed in response, “forgot you even had a back pain” 

“What back pain?” he feigned confusion as he tossed away the cloth, causing you to giggle 

You knew you couldn’t share your encounter with Nancy at the mart, you knew he was already silently insecure about the age gap.

-

Joel was quick to return to work after his trip to San Antonio. He headed to a bar with Tommy before returning home. The brothers conversed about a deal that Joel had made.

“Hey, there’s Frank, wanna come?” Tommy said, looking over Joel’s shoulder. 

Joel turned his face to see Frank talking to a woman before bringing his attention back to his neat whiskey,

“No, ‘m a’right here” He grumbled, watching Tommy leave from his peripheral vision

He downed his half empty cup before he ordered another. He zoned out looking at his whiskey, his fingers tracing the rim of the glass. 

A low grunt beside him caught his attention, turning his face and he was met with Arthur ordering his liquor. 

Joel returned his gaze to his whiskey and taking a sip, 

“Howdy, Joel? How was San Antonio?” Arthur asked

“Was fine, made a deal” Joel replied, already wanting an out from his company. His head is already cloudy from drinking.

“And how’s ya little thing doing?” Arthur leaned, instantly causing Joel to lean away. He wasn’t sure he heard it right

“What?” Joel barked,

“Ya know,” Arthur swung his wrist gripping the glass of whatever he ordered, he shrugged, “that sweet little y/n-” 

“Watch your mouth” Joel growled

“All i’m saying is she’s too young, deserves someone who can actually take care ‘f her” if Arthur was any sober he would’ve shut up after Joel’s first warning, but he just mindlessly continued,

Joel’s bore a hole on the side of his head with his intense gaze, his grip tightening on the glass as he watched Arthur speak, “jus’ feel bad for her, stuck with you–” 

Joel gathered Arthur’s collar in his hand,

POW!

Joel’s fist collided with Arthur’s jaw in a swift motion. 

-

“- and when i told Chris about it, he was equally appalled and said, no offense” Lace lightly held your arm before quoting her boyfriend, “it’s a phase for you and that you’d get over Joel, either way its- ” you gaze shifted to Snow who stood beside Lace, offering you an apologetic smile,

Snow and Lace were your best friends since school. Snow never judged you for your relationship with Joel. Lace, on the other hand, did not always agree with your choices even if she did love you. 

“Lace,” you began, cutting her rambles, “i’m happy, isn’t that enough?” you sighed, tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. 

The three of you were at Millie’s, one of your mutual friends, birthday party. It was your first public appearance after moving in with Joel. you were too scared to join but Lace and Snow were adamant about you joining them. 

Few of the girls asked you weird questions but thanks to your two friends who cornered you to avoid more conversations. 

Lace was quick to notice your eyes, as she took your hand, “of course! but-” 

“No ‘but’s, we’re done. I think I should head home, it’s pretty late,” Snow announced, your gaze darted to the clock, 11:45 stared back at you.

“Yeah, i’m leaving too-” 

“y/n?” it was, Auburn, one of Millie’s friend who you met twice at parties, you knew she cheated on multiple boys just because she thought she was too good for them, “wh- are you guys leaving already?” Auburn looked around the three of you,

“Yeah, can’t stay out late, y’know” Snow carelessly answered as she fished something from her bag, leaving the kitchen

“And let me guess, y/n, you have to go home to your old man?” Auburn directed at you

“Well, at least I have someone to go home to,” you knew it was a cruel jab, but you didn’t care at the moment. 

She gasped, clearly taken aback, “Wow, the old man-” 

“It’s Joel” you interrupted, to which she only rolled her eyes before continuing, 

“Yeah, poor Joel, i mean, having to deal with you every single day, God, i’d be damned” 

Before you could reply, Lock showed up at the kitchen door, “hey, I was leaving, ya need a ride? Snow’s in the car” He was one of your close friends. 

Lock got a nod from you before you pointed at Auburn, “Maybe you need to grow up,” you muttered, already heading out of the kitchen before you heard her voice, “don’t go falling in love, it’s all about good fuck-” you shut the door behind you,

You quickly got into Lock's car, not bothering to bid anyone goodbye. Your vision was glossy, you held back your tears through the small distance to your house, 

It was around 12 when you stepped in the house, the television was on in the living room. You peeked to see sarah on the couch,

“Sarah, what are you doing up?” your voice was harsher than intended, 

She jumped and you almost felt guilty for the way you scared her, 

“You’ve got school tomorrow, go to bed. Now.” you scolded watching her turn off the tv as she muttered a small ‘sorry’ heading upstairs. 

Joel still wasn’t home. And as an unspoken rule, you didn’t want to go to bed without him, like he doesn’t without you. 

You removed your earrings, placing them on the table before you slumped on the couch,

The voices in your head growing, 

Is this wrong? 

Why can’t they keep their noses out of my relationship decisions?

Does Joel feel that I'm way too young for him? 

Is he embarrassed too?

 The longer Joel took to come home, the louder the voices became, 

Does Sarah get questioned about me and Joel?

Does Sarah still like me?

Does Joel still-

You heard the door unlock and you brought yourself up. Joel stumbled in, you knew he had a few drinks. Quickly you got up to hug him and to have him silence the noises in your head, 

Too disappointed about your night, you didn’t notice the bandage on his knuckles, or the sour expressions he wore, as you moved your body to hug him, 

His figure stiffened against you. His hands coming up to your arm as you shuddered under his touch, 

“What’s wrong?” he muttered as he stroked your hair, putting aside his pain to try and heal yours.

You shook your head, not wanting to feed his insecurity, “party was a bit exhausting” you lied

“C’mon baby,” as he moved you both toward the couch, “ya wanna talk about it?” 

You straddled his lap burying your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent of whiskey and cigarettes 

His hands traced your back softly and you whimpered, you loved Joel so much. 

You picked your head up to face Joel. He looked tired. Nevertheless, one of his hands cupped your face and instinctively, you placed a kiss on the inside of his wrist before intertwining your fingers with his, and that's when you felt the skin of bandage under your fingertips, 

“What happened?” it was your turn to be concerned

He stayed quiet for a beat, both of you looking in between you, your intertwined hands but feeling miles away emotionally,

“Just a random cut, nothing serious” and it was his turn to lie,

That was the turning point of your relationship. 

“C’mon let's go to bed,” Joel suggested,

-

The next few weeks went by the same. Everywhere you went, they talked shit. Sometimes you defended but other times you were tired of talking back knowing they won’t stop either way. 

You noticed how Lace kept pushing Lock to you. Always calling him over when you had plans with her and then leaving quickly so you and Lock can spend some time alone. He was a nice guy, but you only saw him as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. And Joel knew it too. 

But oh when he kept getting “with Lock” as your response to his “where ya at”, did he start to feel otherwise. Almost everyday at work he was defending his relationship with you, and after knowing you’re with Lock most of the time, he started believing the criticisms. 

“Things alright between you two?” Tommy carefully asked Joel one day,

“Yeah, why?” Joel didn’t remove his gaze from the contract paper in his hand,

Tommy shrugged, “i don’t know, been seeing her with that Lock guy a lot these days so–”

“Look good together, don’t they?” another man chirped in, but as soon as he received a deathly glare from Joel he backed off immediately. But the words stuck with joel, look good together

That night when you clung to him, like you always do, he didn't reciprocate. The voices in his head were getting loud and you weren’t there to silence them. 

-

“Where?” he snarled 

It was just another rough night for the two of you. Joel had canceled plans with you because work buddies are insisting on game night , delaying it to the next week. Both of the times Lace and Snow had swung by. With Lace reciting her “you deserve better” mantra. 

Earlier this week, Snow had asked you to go shopping for her vacation. And you couldn’t say no, given she had dropped her things just because you were depressed when Joel canceled the plans for the second time. 

If he could, why couldn’t you?

“Shopping” you put another popcorn in your mouth as your eyes fixed on the movie. 

You were upset. You were mad at him. And the whole week had passed without Joel noticing it. Maybe it was about time. 

You felt his eyes on the back of your head. You wanted nothing more than to turn around and make up for the lost time. Clear all the distance that had somehow forged its way between two of you. 

But you didn’t. You resisted. You wanted to check your and  his limits

“Of course, and Lock is gonna be there” Joel scoffed, placing his hands on his hips where he stood at the back of the sofa you sat on. 

That hit the button instead. You exhaled a shallow breath, not believing your ears, 

“What is that supposed to mean?” you turned to face him, his typical annoyed stance in display for you; fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You know very well,” his eyes met yours for a brief second, before he moved to exit

To say you were furious was an understatement. You abandoned your popcorns and movie as you scurried away to chase him,

He faced the cabinets before he heard your angry stomping in the kitchen. 

“What the fuck, Joel?” you barked

He just stood there, leaning against the counter. His arms folded against his chest as he glared back at you,

Frustration bubbled inside of you. Taking a step closer, you let the anger get the best of you, 

“You fucking canceled on me for sake of your buddies,” you were fuming, “you didn’t even notice me being upset” you voice rose with every sentence, “and now you’re accusing me?!” 

“Lower your fucking voice!” he roared causing you to shudder, 

“You’re unbelievable, Miller” you back stepped to the door of the kitchen before you left 

As soon as you stepped out of kitchen you spotted Sarah sitting on the sofa hugging her legs,

“You guys are fighting again?” she mumbled

Your heart shattered at her state. You were quick to sit by her side, engulfing her in your arms, 

“Oh no, honey,” you kissed her hair, “it’s just- you know- we don’t always agree on the things” you caressed her hair

She sniffled, facing you, “so- so you’re not leaving, right?” her wet eyes shining with hope and that was not helping to your breaking heart, 

Your throat tightened so you stuck with shaking your head ‘no’ and a tight smile

Few minutes had passed and Sarah was already asleep on your shoulder. You calmly woke her so she doesn’t hurt her neck in that position. Tucking her in the bed, you closed her door and were met with Joel.

He stood there, shifting his weight from one foot to another. He jerked his head in the direction of your shared bedroom, asking you to join him, and so you did. 

Once the door closed, he turned to you, grasping your small hands in his, 

“I’m sorry” he croaked, “for everything,” 

You looked up at him and gave him a sincere smile as you nodded, “let’s go to sleep,” 

None of you talked about your feelings. None of you shared about the insecurities that you both had regarding each other. None of you reached out for the other to cuddle. 

-

“I’ll wait outside, you can grab whatever you need, yeah?” Joel said as he digged his wallet for his card 

You only nodded as taking the card and hopping out of his truck, rushing into the mart. 

Joel lit a cigarette as he watched you from the driving seat. He knew this was all wrong. It was a lose-lose situation. He couldn’t be with you openly, scared of more rude comments towards you (he could manage the ones thrown at him) but still everyone was aware of your relationship and hence, bringing up the topic out of nowhere.

You, on the other hand, were embarrassed, feeling Joel didn’t want to be seen with you. You both had moved past the point of discussing your feelings and knee-deep in the mess

Once you returned, Joel tried to reach for your hand but you were quick to pull away. It was like a reflex and you almost regretted it. Almost. 

He cleared his throat in an awkward way, “uh- you’re still up for Bill and Frank’s party tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, but I’ll go there with,” you swallowed, too hard to push the words out of your mouth, “with Lace,” 

Joel took a double look at you, “uh, any specific reason?” he asked trying his best to stay calm,

“Yeah, she wanted me there to help her with outfits and make up so i might as well leave with her,” you shrugged, nervously tugging on your nails.

“Okay,” he said lowly, almost as a whisper,

-

“Don’t make dinner tonight” Joel said a few hours after you both had got home, 

“Why? Are you with your boys tonight?” No matter how much you tried to keep the anger at bay, somehow it slipped, 

Joel sighed, as he walked to you, his eyes trained on you. But your gaze couldn't meet his. As if you were hiding something, like you were not honest, except that you were. You were just fed up with your fights with Joel. Fed up with not sharing thoughts like you used to. 

“No, I'll get take-out on my way back,” he said. Your brows furrowed, “We’ll just relax and maybe watch a movie, your choice. How does that sound?” he explained his plans for the night, 

You nodded, “okay, sounds good, but can we maybe dine out? There’s this pretty place-” 

“Baby, I really want just the two of us, we can go next time, ‘kay?” he pressed his lips on your forehead, 

You gave him a tight smile, “sure” 

All you wanted was for him to love you openly. All he wanted was to keep you from any and every hurt even if it meant he had to avoid being seen together. If only you both spoke your feelings. 

-

“Honestly, I think he’s not opening up to you because you won’t get it since you’re young, y’know?” Lace said as she fixed her dress, “Do you really think you’re the best match for him? Woman his age are dying to marry him,” 

You tried to stop another flood of tears threatening to fall from your eyes. Your eyes were already swollen from the crying you had today at Lace’s because you were watching your relationship with Joel fall apart. It was all perfect when the world didn’t know. The bubble had bursted.

“You’re right,” you sighed,

-

Joel didn’t really prepare for his appearance as much as he did for the looks thrown his way when he moved with you. You and him didn’t know how to handle the criticisms and that had your relationship at stake. 

He arrived at bill and frank’s and eagerly started to look for you. But you were nowhere to be found. He had texted you but there was no response from you. Were you even coming?

He met with his friends and like a habit, everyone asked about you. 

He stepped on the front porch, desperately escaping from endless questions and trying to muster up excuses of your absence. Two shots in, he felt his brother hand on his shoulder, “heartbreak?” Tommy asked as he sipped his whiskey, 

Joel only grunted in response, not really paying attention to his question, “so when did it happen?” 

That had his attention, “what?” 

“The breakup and that” Joel followed Tommy’s gaze. 

You had just gotten out of the car and stumbled your way inside. Lock’ hand pressed to your lower back as he guided you inside the house. Lace quickly trailing behind you both, struggling with her own dress. 

Joel’s lips parted in shock. How could you do this? What was happening? The liquor had started to dizzy his mind. 

The look on Joel’s face was enough to let Tommy know that he was oblivious to the situation just like him. 

“There’s someone I'd like you to meet,” Tommy said carefully, and convincingly.

Joel eyes took a few seconds before moving from the door from where you had just entered the house, 

He just nodded in response, before he chugged the entire bottle in one go. 

He was mad. He was disappointed. He was angry. But most importantly, he was hurt. But one thing about him, he was a hard person to go and confront. Why would he do that when he can do things he won’t remember the next morning? 

The last sober thought was you. Then the rest was alcohol in his veins controlling his mind.

—-----

You left Lace’s apartment as you hurried to Lock' car. 

“Hi, Lace is coming, told me to go,” you said as you greeted him, 

Lace took solid 10 minutes before she appeared on the entrance door of the building. Those 10 minutes you listened to Lock talking about some girl he’s madly in love with and will ask her out tomorrow. She was a friend of your friend, she was nice. You were genuinely happy for him. 

You were on your way when you checked your phone. You didn’t realize you had missed a text from Joel. You swiped to reply to him, telling him you were on your way. But Lace snatched the phone from you, 

“Enough using phone for tonight,” she grinned 

You instinctively chased her hand and turned to the backseat. Unknown to you, your dress had stuck in the door. 

Rip. 

You heard and felt your fabric tearing from your back. With your shocked expression, Lace was concerned, 

“I think I ripped my dress from the back,” you said slowly, reaching your hand on your back and you felt your skin. “Oh my god, I just ripped my dress!” you cried,

“Is it something a needle and thread can fix?” Lock asked as he tried to calm the chaos you both had created, 

Lace inspected the ripped part, “i think so, i can do it but where do we get the needle and thread?” 

“Frank has it,” Lock informed, 

Your face was contorted in worry, your phone long forgotten, 

“Okay, Lock you cover her way up to the restroom, I’ll go get the things I need from Frank,” Lace ordered as you all got off the vehicle. 

And so you all rushed in. Your mind was directed to; will Lace be able to fix my dress? 

You didn’t greet anyone as you bolted toward the restroom. Lock stayed outside as you rushed inside. Lace quickly returned and fixed your dress. 

“And all done!” she said excitedly

You turned your neck to the mirror to see that indeed she had done a good job. 

Leaving the bathroom, you parted ways with Lace and Lock as you went out looking for Joel. 

“Hey! Have you seen Joel?” you asked Bill,

“Why yes, he’s finally got some sense back,” he tilted his glass in Joel’s direction, 

There stood Joel, no, there swayed Joel in the arms of a stranger. Joel’s arms linked loosely around her as her’s around his neck, pulling him closer, 

“perfect match,” Bill added, 

Your lips parted to say something but no words came out, “wh-” you began but were immediately cut by Bill as he clicked his tongue and shook his head, 

“Don’t go ruining a good thing now, kid,” 

You couldn't avert your gaze from the scene in front of you until it was blurred by your tears. 

“Excuse me” your voice shook, as you turned away, tears spilling as you ran to the restroom again. 

How bad you wished you didn’t leave the restroom, or that you left a little later until he detached himself from her. 

Did he really fall out of love? Did he really let them dictate him? You wanted to go and confront but-

You broke down. Bad. 

You didn’t mind your makeup, that you put on with precision, smudging. Your knees hit the bathroom floor as you cried your eyes out. 

The ringing of the phone caused you to take a break. Taking out the phone more tears fell from your eyes as Joel’s name displayed on your screen. 

The ringing ceased and a text followed a few minutes later, 

Joel: Where are you? 

You scoffed at his text. You wanted to go to him and scream at him. But you didn't want to give in to all the people who told you this was never gonna work. Sure your relationship had gone down the hill since last month. But was ending the relationship really better than running in a circle every other day? Loving Joel only in the boundaries of your house? 

You wanted to go home, Joel’s house, and move out. This wasn’t going to work. You had decided. The thought of officially ending the relationship pulled new strings of tears from your eyes as you texted Lace about going home before you stuffed the phone in your purse. 

Just like you had entered, keeping your gaze lowered, you left the exact same way. You heard the unmistaken sound of a voice calling your name but you couldn’t stop and turn. No, you kept moving. 

You exited the main gate and walked on the side of the street. You were walking quickly, wanting to go away from him as fast as possible. You heard the familiar voice called you again, 

“What is it, Joel?” you seethed as you turned around. 

You looked horrible, you knew it but you couldn’t care less right now. 

Joel eyes widened at your appearance, 

“Jus’ wanted to ask, how long have you been with Lock?” he whispered as if even he was ashamed of asking the question. He looked down, prepared for any answer that you had to offer

Your heart dropped at his question, “what?” oh how bad you hoped you heard it wrong, 

“Ya heard it,” he muttered, “i saw you both, ‘s okay, i understa-” 

Before he could complete his sentence, you had walked up to him, staring deep in his eyes, “are you fucking kidding me right now?” your voice was low but hid a menace beneath it, 

Joel stayed quiet, he looked at you but his eyes were empty. 

“Are you serious, Joel?” your voice shook, all of your power was used up at keeping your tears from falling, 

“How about you tell me about you dancing in someone else’s arms?” your voice rose and you pushed him back, “was that what you've been doing in my absence?!” you hit his chest, “tell me!” your voice wavered and once again the dam broke, “tell me Joel!” 

The sides of your fist kept colliding with Joel’s hard chest as you let everything out, “tell me why were you so embarrassed of me? Of us?” joel stayed silent as he received your weak punches and watched the tears stain your face

“Tell me where did we go wrong?” you energy had drained before you slowly uttered the last question

“When did you stop loving me?” that was his last straw, as he held your wrist just as you were pulling away, 

“Don’t” he said firmly, “anything but that” 

“We’ve fallen apart,” you croaked, “Gonna take a miracle to save us this time-” 

“I still love you,” he promised

You shook your head as your released your hands from his grip,

“Then tell me why didn’t I feel loved?” you whispered 

Joel once again fell silent, “I-” he shook his head, wanting to wake up from the worst nightmare,

His throat tightened, he wanted to tell you that he wanted to protect you. But your outburst told him the only way you would’ve felt protected was if he held your hand in front of everyone. 

He began, not knowing what to say but his mind screamed one thing, 

Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye

You wiped the tears from your face as you took a deep breath, 

“Goodbye, Joel” 

You turned and walked away as Joel stood still. The wind blew cold against his skin. 

Did he throw away the best part of his life? 

It’s alright, Just two hearts breakin’ even tonight

You’d go and get on with your life, he’ll get on with his’, broken hearts can’t call the cops, it’s a perfect crime.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[russellsppttemplates]

Victoria asking if you and Max can babysit Luka and Lio for the night

"Absolutely, yes, go and enjoy your date night!", you had said to Victoria when she asked if you were willing to babysit Luka and Lio for some overnight plans Tom had planned for them. Because they would be spending the night out of the house and the kids had everything they needed at their place, you and Max opted to pack two small backpacks with your things and spend the night at his sister's place. "MAX! Y/N!", the little boys shrieked as they saw who had arrived, "is is true you're going to spend today and tomorrow with us?", Luka asked you, "yes, we are! Are you ready to have loads of fun?", you cheered.

"Go and say goodbye to mama and papa, guys!", Max urged them as you were setting your things down im the guest bedroom, waving goodbye to them one the kids ran back to you, "So, what do you guys want to do?", Max asked.

"We are going on an adventure! Mama got us these hats so we can be explorers!", Luka showed you the accessories, "I want to spot a Lion and a dinosaur!".

"A dinosaur? No way!", you played along, grabbing a magnifying glass and joining them in their exploration. "Why is it that we need these to look for them?", Max joked as you followed the boys, "weren't dinosaurs massive?".

"I think I see one, tante Y/N!", Luka said as Lio clapped in excitement, pointing to the toy in his room, "we have to be careful as we watch it", he whispered in your ear as you saw Max hold Lio on his arms, the little boy probably too tired or not that interested in the explorers' adventure.

"Dinner's ready, guys!", you called as the three boys sat around the table, "this is my favourite!", Luka said as Lio munched happily on the chicken nuggets. Smiling at them, you felt Max squeeze your thigh under the table before he began eating the food on his plate.

After bath time, Lio insisted on only sleeping if he was laying on your chest, meaning you walked around his room for a while until he was fully asleep, kissing his forehead when you laid in his cot, "sleep tight, buddy", you whispered, turning off the lights and heading to Luka's room.

"We've been waiting for you to read the story, it seems I don't do all the voices perfectly like you do", Max rolled his eyes playfully, earning a big giggle from his nephew as you sat down, taking the book from the shelf.

"Actually, I don't want a book tonight, but I have a question for you, if that's okay?", you and Max nodded, "how can I be a good brother for my little sister?", Luka asked, making you close the book in your lap, looking at Max. "You can be gentle with your mama, help her whenever she needs it. Behave well, too, as she will be a little bit tired sometimes", you smiled, "and be kind to your little sister, I'm sure the rest will follow, buddy".

Wishing him goodnight, you and Max went downstairs to tidy the living room and kitchen, "can you imagine our lives looking like this? I'm not saying now, but in a few years", you wondered, "with you, Y/N? Absolutely".

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

[divinesolas]

hii🤝 can i request an ethan landry ex’s to lovers fic where the reader and ethan broke up cause of ethans jealousy so they’re just kinda mean and sarcastic to each other they’re basically just still mad at each other while being broken up and so there’s a lot of tension between them like but no smut i suck at making requests i’m sorry🙏🙏

Second Chances

Warnings | best friend anika, ex's to lovers, very bad insults (im not good at insults), implied attempted sa, asshole when drunk ethan, slight angst but with happy ending !! not proofread

wc | 2.4k

a/n: hiiii i really appreciate the request i hope you like it !! sorry if its not exactly what you wanted !!

“Clean up in isle four a bunch of fucking garbage spilled all over the floor.” You turn to your coworker next you who rolled her eyes and walked away mumbling something about the back.

Ethan and the others had found their way to your work establishment. Ethan turned his head towards you and rolled his eyes, “Don't you have a job to do?” “I am working asshole see” you gesture to your work uniform and pick one of the items off the shelf just to put it back on. He shakes his head and makes a step towards you so youre almost face to face, “you're so stupid.” You mock him, “How dare you?” “There's nothing wrong with pointing out the truth.”

“Just make out already Jesus christ.” Tara, tired of the two of you, leads the others out of the isle, Ethan scoffs and turns away from you, giving you one last look to which you flip him off before he walks out of the isle.

Watching him leave sucks, you hate to admit it but you miss him. So much. The night two weeks ago is still burning in the back of your memory.

you were just at a party only maybe thirty minutes ago, you had walked away from him and the rest of the group for a quick second to grab a refill only to get stopped by a guy. He grabs your arm and smiles at you. You think his name is mark? You recognize him from your English class.

“You wanna be my beer pong partner?” You shake your head and smile at him, “No sorry i just need to grab a drink.” he sighs, “can i atleast get your number gorgeous?” You shake your head, “I got a boyfriend.” “I'm sorry.” He nods and walks back over to the beer pong table.

You make your way over to the drink table, “what was that?” As you pour a drink you see your boyfriend, Ethan, standing behind you with an unreadable look on his face. you smile at him before turning back to the table, “you know that guy mark from english? he asked if i wanted to play beer pong with him.” you laugh and fill up your cup.

However, you turn back to see Ethan have an upset look. “is everything okay-” “why was he holding your arm?” Your expression turns grim due to his tone, “um… he asked for my number, i told him no obviously.” His face didn't let up, “Ethan, I promise nothing happened.”

He scoffs and turns away from you, “you looked a little too happy to have said no.” You look at him in disbelief, “are you kidding ethan?'' He doesn't look at you. “I can't believe this, you can't even trust me?” he turns back to you, “why should i?” you open and close your mouth in shock, “because i'm your girlfriend? You know what, no I'm not. you're unbelievable i'm so done with you.”

He follows after you, you can see a stumble in his step, is he drunk? “Baby please-” You huff, “Leave me alone, seriously. Dont text or call me.”

He had left you a large array of messages and tried to call you many many times but all of them went ignored.

Whenever he would try to approach you in person you shut down any sort of advances with an ache in your chest.

You feel a hand tap your shoulder and you turn to see anika there with a sad expression, “you still haven't talked to him?” why should you? he was disrespectful and mean, despite how much you may miss him you will never let someone treat you like he did.

“y/n please just talk to him, you two are miserable.” You sigh and shake your head, “I don't feel miserable, I feel great.” you let out a halfhearted laugh before playing with the already perfectly arranged shelf, “sorry but i have to get back to work.” You see in the corner of your eye her frowning but before she can say anymore you hear Mindy calling for her to join them as they leave.

She walks away and you feel regret at the sad look on her face, you'll have to text her an apology letter.

One of your bigger regrets from your breakup is that you cut contact with the whole group, it's not like they wanted to but you didn't want them to have to choose. you watch out of the corner of your eye as they walk out the front door and you take a breath of relief. This sucks.

—

When anika invites you to go shopping at the mall, you are shocked to see her standing around with the rest of the group. Ethan standing further back in the group in a seemingly heated discussion with mindy. God this sucks.

Praying she hasn't seen you yet you try to rush away, maybe text her that you aren't feeling well but of course, “y/n!! over here!!” you sigh and turn back with a forced smile.

you slowly walk over and seeing her genuinely cheerful smile puts a real one on your face, “anika hey, hi guys….” you look at the rest of the group who all greet you except one. He looks to the floor as anika begins to drag you along talking about what clothes she wants to get today.

Soon enough sam, tara and chad split off from the group leaving just you anika mindy and of course, ethan. You are now walking side by side with Ethan as Mindy and anika hold hands in front of you.

You look over to him and see him already looking at you and you scoff despite the fact your heart races, “it's rude to stare you know” he rolls his eyes, “it's hard not to when you have something in your hair.” your hands immediately fly to your hair picking and pulling at it.

He stops you with a sigh, “it's here.” He turns you head towards him and your face heads as he pulls something from your hair and flicks it from his hand. You two stare at each other, his doe eyes softening seeing your face. You look down at his lips, remembering how they felt, wishing you could just grab his neck and pull him against you.

You snap out of it hearing mindy laugh, “god they're so stupid.” You see anika smile at you as you two pull away from each other. You scoff as you move in front of the group, “don't do that again.” You begin to walk away not bothering to look if they're following you, “not even a thank you?” you don't turn back to look at him, not trusting yourself to.

–

“Your outfit looks bad.” “is that the worst you have?” His outfit doesn't look bad. Hes wearing a fucking suit of course he doesn't look bad. It was Sam's birthday so you were all going to some really nice restaurant. you turn your body fully away from him as you all wait in the lobby for the table.

“the worst thing here just so happens to be your hair.” you hear him scoff, “you love my hair.” You turn back to him with an angry look, why would he say that, it's true of course but he has no right. “i don't like your hair just as much as i don't like your face.” he shakes his head and looks away from you with an unreadable look.

“your insults are really bad today. did you wake up on the right side of the bed this morning?” he finally looks back at you and stares at your face, you think he's looking at your eyes but his eyes are turned down slightly, your lips.

Before you can say anymore the table is ready while walking there his hand brushes against yours and you immediately pull your hand away. He looks at you with a frown before he shakes his head and sits far away from you. Good, you think no it wasn't good. It sucked.

–

You're at a party anika dragged you to, you hadn't gone to one since Ethan and you split. Anika decided it was time to get you out of the house so here you were. She ignored you anytime you asked if ethan would be there which leads you to believe he is which sucks.

You stare at the empty cup in your hand and sigh as you stand up to go fill it again despite the fact you are probably way too drunk and shouldn't be drinking anymore. You finally stumble your way towards the table, you pour yourself another drink and chug it down attempting to ignore your pounding head.

“Something wrong, gorgeous?” You turn and see Mark, the same guy from a few weeks ago, You shake your head unable to answer him and wave him off. “Are you sure? you nod again, putting a hand on your head.

“c'mon i'll help you to a room upstairs.” you feel in grab you and begin to lead you towards the stairs you try to push him away but he keeps a tight firm grip.

at the bottom of the stairs you grab the railing to stop him from pulling you up when you hear a voice, “uh what's going on here?” ethan. Thank god. He has a confused look on his face as he looks between the two of you.

“Hey man, I'm just taking her upstairs to rest her head.” you shake your head and look at ethan with a desperate look and he immediately steps into action. “I'm friends with her roommate, I'll just take her back to her dorm.” Ethan moves towards you to grab you but Mark gets defensive and pulls you towards him, “she asked me to take her don't worry man.”

Ethans face hardens, “let her go.” The rest of the group had made there way over to you guys and chad stepped next to ethan. “I don't see the big deal man-” Ethan ripped you from his arms and grabbed onto you as Ethan slammed his hands into the guy's chest. “dont fucking call me man again, leave my girlfriend the fuck alone.”

“are you alright?'' You nod at Chad and watch as Ethan gets in the guy's face and says a couple more things you can't hear before he rushes back towards you and holds you in his arms.

“are you alright? god i'm sorry baby, cmon lets go.” He lifts you into his arms and carries you out, not before he and Chad exchange a few words with a nod from Chad Ethan leaves with you in his arms.

It feels nice, for a moment you forget everything that's happened between you two the last couple weeks and lay your head on his neck. you feel his grip tighten as he pulls you closer, “i got you baby dont worry.”

You close your eyes and breathe in his scent feeling relaxed you almost fall asleep. He cursed to himself and you opened your eyes again.

You notice you aren't on the way to your dorm, “where are we-” “my dorm, sorry i didn't grab the keys from anika.”

You look up at his face and he looks down at you, he's so beautiful. you notice his face turns red and his pace quickens. Had you said that outloud?

You arrive at his dorm, “I'm gonna put you down for a sec, okay?” he only moves to put you down once you nod, he places you on your feet your body leaning against his and he opens the door.

He lifts you back into his arms and walks you inside, closing the door behind him. you feel his warmth leave you when he places you on his bed.

You watch him leave, wanting to ask where's he's going but he comes back quickly with a glass of water, “drink it please” you chug down the water, not realizing how parched you actually were he takes the glass away from you still don't making eye contact, “you can sleep on the bed, i'll call anika to let her know-” you watch him try to move away from you and you whine and grabbing his arm.

“don't leave me.” you don't want him to leave, all the nights you've spent alone since breaking up with ethan flood back into your mind and your eyes water why did being drunk have to make you so emotional. “please.”

His eyes widen before he sits down into the bed, taking off his shoes and yours before lifting up the comforter and squeezing in next to you. A smile grows on your face as he finally faces you, you run a hand along his face and trace his features. “I've missed you, I'm sorry, for everything.” his eyes close at the feeling of your hands.

you keep running a hand along his cheek, “what in particular?” you want to make sure he knows what he's apologizing for, now is not the time you know that but you need to ask. “That whole night, the words I said and what I insinuated, I was drunk. That's not an excuse I know but I want you to know I didn't mean it baby I promise.”

You nod your head, feeling sleep overtake you. “If you really mean it, tell me in the morning.” you mumble as you wiggle into his arms, knowing you already forgive him. He wraps his arms around you, “of course baby I love you.”

–

You wake up the next morning with a pounding headache. You groan and put a hand on your head, you should never drink like that again. You run your hands along the face before realizing you're not in your bed, oh right. last night.

you turn over and see ethan already looking at you, now sober you feel awkward “um good morning.” he smiles at you, “good morning.” you two sit in silence for awhile with him admiring you while you try to avoid eye contact, why was this so awkward?

“So do I need to go through the whole speech again or do you remember?” he looks at you hopefully to which you nod. “never talk to me like that again.” he shakes his head, “never.” you laugh, giving into your true desires and wrapping your arms around him.

“Does this mean I'm your boyfriend again?” You pull back slightly and kiss him, “does that answer your question?”

[mikufigureoftheday]

i got a new shelf recently so perhaps it is time i show you my meeks (featuring some other blorbos)

both of the figmas ARE BROKENnnnn (one more visibly so) im never buying them again😭😭😭look at these thinfs wrong and they explode /silly (they were overproced too and now i couldnt sell them for 10 dollars live and learn i guess)

latest is dark angel who ive wanted for a long time but i only bother buying on ebay and there were fakes floating around for a while. WxS miku is hell on earth bc her parts cannot stay on properly, she looses half her hair when too much wind blows (exaderation but it did fall of several times while i was arranging the figures, her tail too)

thats why i love dark angel shes surprisingly sturdy, more then any other figure i gave. you could throw her off a building and that hair would stay in. bless

my old shelf was much wider so all my AMP figures could comfortably fit next to eachother but now they look kinda awkward, i really underestimated their size

my favourite mikus are dark angel and the alice in wonderland

UHM ALSO FOR THE LONGEST TIME I WAS CONVINCED THAT SAKURA WAS AN AMP FIGURE EVEN THO I *HAVE THE BOX* NO WHERE DOES IT SAY AMP 😭😭😭

ichigo_mik on ebay is my saviour they often have the best prices on ebay and the first time one orders from them you get a snack. also im aware i could find cheaper on other sites but i already have ebay figured out huehue,, biggest problem is probably customs in my country they dont give me as much trouble with anything else as much as figures

i also once bought a set of fakes because they were cheap and i found them funny but i dont have my own picture of them on hand rn but heres from the listing

i gave fake sakura to a friend bc i already had one real sakura lol. the one on the top right has very unstable hair so ive stashed her hair away, the snow miku is oddly big and heavy, the easter ones head is made from a weirdly soft plastic so her head is squishy 😭 and infinity is nothing special. i love my fakeus

im so sorry how this is written im tired ushvfzhsgt 😭😭😭😭😭

I've always loved that dark angel one, but the fact that she could also apparently be used as a weapon makes me love her even more LMAO

You've got a good grouping here, both currently and what you've given away!! I'm always glad to see the birthday cat one and that giant beach one on the bottom shelf is so cool.........

I love figmas, but I'm always afraid I'm going to break mine so I give them the like most generic poses to achieve stability (╥_╥) they look so lame next to the scales/nendos sometimes LMAO

Thanks for sharing all your goodies and the story behind your collection!!! 11/10 very good keep it up

[reverieshifting]

STORYTIMEEE

to start, i have course in the morning and school in the afternoon, so everyday is very tiring for me, and yesterday was no different, sleepy and dizzy all class 😓

i got home, watched some vids, pet my neighbor's cat, an usual day. i went to sleep at 22 (10 pm) and every time i go to sleep i put on some subliminal related to shifting, this time I slept listening to "Abyssal + theta waves" by taro on youtube!

i fell asleep and woke up at 4 in the morning (my sleep is heavy and i'm not used to waking up randomly in the middle of the night, but this has become very frequent)

my headphones were still playing the subliminal so i turned it off and layed down again to go back to sleep.

when I'm very sleepy, i start imagining/visualizing random things, so i can't focus on just one visualization.

i started to imagine me (1st person) in a grocery store, it was night, at my right there was a metal grid where you could see the street and a small hill, at my left a shelf with snacks and a fridge with soda. (note: the snacks were weird, they were mixed up together in one, and couldn't see any brands, it was like AI)

at first it was a simple visualization/imagination but with each second it became more and more realistic! until the moment I decided to touch the grid

i felt the metallic texture, i felt the cold, i felt everything!!! as i was very sleepy and barely conscious i didn't have an exact reaction. and i also could feel that i was not alone in that grocery store.

at some point i remember closing my eyes, and when i opened them again i could still see the grid, the snacks and the fridge but suddenly it all faded into my "CR" bedroom.

i can still visualize and remember it all so far and how incredibly real it was!! it remains vivid in my mind and i can't be happier!!!

may some people say it was just lucid dream or something like that, but ME MYSELF do believe we shift everytime so yeah, i shifted to that grocery store!! (thats what i believe)

anyways IM SO FREAKING HAPPY THIS WAS SO EXTRAORDINARY TO EXPERIENCE, i'll return later to edit this if needed, love ya!

[crushedsweets]

WWHAT WUD THE CREEPS DO 4 HALLOWEEN I MUST KNOW

anon... yes i like this. general disclaimer this is tailored to my au !! stuff under cut

toby likes it, thinks its fun and stuff. he's not the type to dress up beyond like, maybe a jacket and a mask or whatever, but he'll go and buy(steal) stupid ass halloween decorations from spirit or the dollar store. there r several mini skeletons sitting around his cabin. he treats it like elf on the shelf, but. . . skeletons... def will sit around and watch scary movies with a bag of halloween candy . totally carves pumpkins with whoever will do it with him

tim wouldnt really want to do much cuz he's just tired, but he probably would put out a small little pumpkin and bowl of candy outside his door. he's in an apartment so he doesnt really get trick or treaters. will prob buy some candy after halloween so its on sale

brians so annoying omfg(lovingly) he'd buy a fake arm, blood, and wig and stick it in his trunk so it looks like an arm is sticking out. yall know what im talking about. him and tim share an apartment so he'd prob try to actually put something simple around it, like some plastic pumpkins, but nothing really big. he is also a grown man with no kids, so he doesnt find himself going all out for these things

natalie. ok i recently made it where she's either already a tattoo artist, or learning to be a tattoo artist or whatever, but i could see her and some coworkers setting up the shop all halloweeny. she's so fucking tall that they'd just call her over for all the spider web stuff. she thinks its fun and she likes halloween a lot so it's cool. she'd get a huge kick out of doing halloween tattoos during october too. goes and hangs out with toby/nina for it

nina goes to parties . she HAS to get a whole new costume for every party. its super wasteful but she doesnt care all that matters is shes sexy. every year without fail she is a sexy gothic vampire for one of the parties. she works at hot topic, BUT she'd absofuckinglutely get a second job at spirit halloween for october. she's a creepy galll... def sets her apartment up super cutely, brings toby and nat over so they can carve pumpkins with her, tries to dress them up, etc. tons of halloween posts on her social medias too LOL shes so cute

jeff would prob also go to more like... weirder ( ?) parties with creeps and scary people roaming around just doing crazy shit. warehouse shit. prob finds someone to bring home and kill. he thinks its fun, its easier to just go about his days looking the way he does, he loves scaring the fucking shit out of people. doesnt decorate or wear costumes though, says its cringe LMFAO. hates how hyped nina is about it

jane and mary would totally decorate, but in a much more.. ? elegant ? way. like those tall skinny candles, swap out their doormat for something halloween themed, really nicely done pumpkins for some reason. jane would want to host a cute little halloween dinner for uni friends. probably just gets simple costumes, like she'd put on a witch hat and black dress and thats all, but its cute. takes sally (and ben, if sally asks him to come) trick or treating.

sally draws tons of drawings, loves disney halloween marathons, paints on pumpkins(doesnt like the smell of gutting them), etc. she'd decorate with jane cuz she lives w her. she loves it so much but she still gets scared of the animatronic things at stores and stuff LOL. begs ben to trick or treat w her. really embarrassing for ben

ben wouldnt do much besides like. he'd get worse w his internet trolling (scaring the fucking shit out of teens on the internet), start doing more actual hauntings bc nobody will believe his victims during october which means slender wont find out he's doing it. he would not want to go trick or treating..but he'd go with sally with a pillow case and he'd try to awkwardly stand further back but the ppl at the door would always b like 'aw dont be shy come here!' LOL

jack doesnt celebrate it, his family didnt really celebrate it much when he was human so he doesnt do it now. he does get kinda sad during holiday season though, cuz of obvious reasons, but halloween isnt the strongest Pain for him

liu is so fucking miserable theres no way. jk he'd set out like, some pumpkins and maybe get one of those lights that project ghosts onto his garage, but he wouldnt want to go all out or do anything to the inside of his house. jeff really liked halloween when he was younger so its kinda like ouch but he's getting overit. i guess. . .

kate doesnt..celebrate anything........ but when she does occasionally visit the cabin, maybe for food or a shower, and she sees toby decorated, she'd be happy to see it. she's kinda unsettling to be around, but she'd sit down and watch a movie with him in silence. then bring a massive bag of candy to the mine w her w/o telling toby. he just had to cope

ann and lulu dont do anything in the hospital. they dont really have any concept of time........... or the resources to decorate... and they dont get any trick or treaters... cuz theyre...stuck in an abandoned hospital in the woods . . . yeah..

ty for ask anoni like this one. very simple but very sweet

[junieec]

in your eyes

neteyam x metkayina reader. maybe a series.

warnings: angst, heavy topics and such.

hi everyone i am writing for avatar because there is not enough fanfics out there. this is my first ever fic so plz be nice!!

neteyam and reader are 18.

do NOT share my work without credit.

have fun!

—

your mother spent her life alone and isolated due to the tragedy of your fathers death and soon after she had disappeared to go search for him. she was always hard on you to take care of your youngest sister but thankfully your aunt and uncle had raised you two when your mother left. after your fathers death she had changed completely. she was so determined to find him and bring him home that she lost everything in the process.

your father had been lost in a freak accident outside of the reef. you remembered very little of your father. small remnants of his face, scent, and traits lingered through your mind from time to time. whenever an elder sees you they always say you look like your father or that you had definitely gotten his eyes.

you stared at the necklace hung on the wall. the one he would always wear. the head piece on your shelf woven perfectly elicited a small smile on your face. your father had made you it when you were young. your hand traced over the small shiny blue pearls on it as you smiled a bit harder. he had collected them all himself and hoped you would some day wear it when you needed his memory the most.

your thoughts were interrupted by the loud sound of tonowari’s horn.

“ixtal lets go” you called after your five year old sister.

you furrowed your eyebrows and made your way outside to find your cousin tsireya and her family circled around a family of forest people. you had only ever heard stories of them and their wise, great leader.

“y/n come!” laughed rotxo.

you made your way to tsireya who was starry eyed at one of the family’s boys. you stood beside her and your sister followed behind you. she stood quietly behind your leg.

“you okay xal?” you turned and looked down at her and she nodded while smiling.

“please, let us stay here” an older man pleaded. you looked up to see your uncles face stern yet lenient.

“alright jake sully you will stay, the kids will teach the young ones our ways. you must be useful if you would like to live here.” he put an arm out and looked over at you and your cousins.

soon after they had left to get settled and later that night we had welcomed them with a traditional celebration. the brightly lit water glowed before the moon. everyone had arrived to welcome the guests. ixtal followed you around and you stuck with tsireya who engaged in conversation with the youngest son lo’ak. he introduced himself and you smiled politely until you looked over at one of the boys standing with a little girl. he pointed to ixtal and waved. he looked up and his eyebrows raised slightly. the little girl ran past him and made her way to ixtal. both of them began talking and watching them made you giggle.

“my names ixtal! ill show you my cool bracelets!” yelled ixtal as she put her arms out to show off all the bracelets she had created.

there was an awkward silence between you and the boy. you watched the two leave and then the two of you turned to each other and made eye contact. his smile was so contagious.

“i can tell that they will be great friends” he said and smiled a little. you stared into his eyes a bit too long to form a response.

“yeah im sure they will be. i am y/n, my cousins and i are meant to show you around” you began walking and gestured for him to follow. he nodded and and walked closely beside you.

“neteyam, and yes, something like that” he looked around. he looked tired and somewhat disinterested. like his mind was preoccupied.

“i take it you are not the most thrilled to be here?” you asked. he laughed at your observation.

“i just miss my home. i miss my life” he sighed.

“perhaps you can find a home here neteyam” you flashed a considerate smile and continued walking.

“yeah i hope so” he responded.

you sat down and dipped your feet into the water. the luminescent fish gathered and swarmed around your legs.

“come sit” you looked up at him.

he sat down slowly and looked over at you. you both sat and watched the fish dance around your legs. you took in a deep breath and felt the pressure around you lessen. neteyam looked over and studied your features.

“is there something on my face” you touched your face in a worried manner.

“yeah, right there” he pointed at your face and laughed. your face fell instantly and you turned away humiliated. fuck fuck fuck.

“hey i am just teasing theres nothing there skxawng” you turned to look at him as he continued to giggle. your mouth open staring him down.

“forest boy has jokes hm?” you questioned.

you both spent the night talking and sharing interests with each other. a few more jokes were made and many laughs were shared.

—

days had passed and lessons with neteyam were progressively getting better. he was learning fast and it surprised you. there was just one thing he struggled with but you were sure you could fix it.

“breathe from here neteyam” you placed your hands on his lower abdomen and chest.

“just focus on my voice, know that you’re here now and the ocean is within you” you spoke softly. you felt his heart beat quicken and you grew frustrated. he looked down at you and looked up again quickly.

“you’re not doing it right. focus!” you exclaimed.

“i am trying my best!” he retorted.

“we’ve been working on this for days neteyam. you are like a baby! no, you are worse than a baby!” you were annoyed.

“oh yeah? you slow down your heart beat” he swatted your hands off him and placed his hands on to your chest and lower abdomen. holy shit. you looked into his eyes and he smirked while feeling your heartbeat race.

“that doesn’t mean anything” you got up and called for your ilu to swim away.

“yeah alright i believe you” he replied. god he was so snarky.

you both got onto your ilus and swam home. you were greeted by rotxo, aonoung, and lo’ak fighting. neteyam slid past you and called out for lo’ak. he couldn’t just stand and watch his brother get beat up. he scratched his head and joined in. you stood next to kiri and laughed while playfully holding her arm.

—

you were summoned by tonowari followed by rotxo, lo’ak, neteyam and aonoung. shit.

“y/n! i expect better from you. you are the oldest and you watch over your cousins. what were you thinking?” you looked down and felt everyones stare burn into you.

“it was my fault sir i should’ve also done something but i joined them” neteyam interjected.

“no you will not take the blame for this knucklehead anymore!” jake sully yelled. he grabbed lo’ak by the arm and stood him up.

“apologize boy!” he was stern and scary. you observed keeping your gaze low.

“im sorry sir i will apologize to anoung and rotxo for hitting them. soo many times.” he looked down and walked away to find tsireya waiting for him.

“your father would be disappointed by this behavior y/n. he was wise beyond his years at this age” the words pierced through your skin.

neteyam watched as you looked down taking the hit. neytiri and jake began apologizing and talking to tonowari to ease the pressure off of you. you quickly composed yourself and walked out. he was right but the constant comparison to your father killed you.

neteyam followed behind you quietly not saying a word. he had no idea what to even say. where was your father? he hadn’t even met the man. you walked to the dock and called your ilu. swimming away from everyone you made your way to your favorite place. it was a cave outside the reef. millions of little glowing plants lit it up like stars in the night sky. you spent a lot of time there to collect yourself. you swam up into the cave and sat down watching the plants change colors. you heard splashing and grabbed your knife.

suddenly you saw neteyam climb out of the water and on to the rock of the cave.

“what are you doing here?!” you questioned.

“making sure you are okay” he breathed heavily and coughed a little. after a few seconds he calmed down and looked around. he was mesmerized. you smiled as you watched him look around and take in the beauty of the cave.

“this place is amazing” he said. he sat down next to you continuously looking around.

“i know” you said softly.

“you seemed upset. like you were going to cry?” he asked wearily. he looked over at you and moved your hair out of your face with a gentle touch.

“im okay” you looked over and gave him a small smile.

“who is your father? i never see him around, only heard of him today” your expression changed and you looked at him nervously.

“my fathers gone and my mother, she has disappeared looking for him” your eyes trailed awkwardly.

“im sorry. i know what it is like, the pressure of being the best” he touched your hand gently and rubbed his fingers on your knuckles. his touch was comforting and sweet. you watched him think and it was cute.

“you are so much more than what others say of you. take it from me, forest boy with demon blood” he chuckled awkwardly.

you dont know what overtook you but you felt so safe in that moment. you knew he understood you, and you understood him.

“i see you nete” your eyes bore into him. a small smile formed on his face and he could’ve sworn eywa had blessed him with you. in that second he knew you were it for him.

“i see you. ill always see you” he spoke softly.

a smile creeped on your face and thats when you looked into each others eyes and you couldn’t help but notice every little feature of his face. the red beads in his hair. the way his freckles lit up his face. you cherished him. in that moment you were his and he was yours. nothing could change that.

“is there something on my face” he asked mockingly breaking a little bit of the tension. you both laughed and he playfully tickled you and before you knew it you were on top of him.

“got you” you said while holding him down. he picked himself up leaving you to straddle his waist.

you didnt wanna hold back anymore.

you held his face with your hand and looked into his eyes. your face almost inches away from one another. the tension was unbearable. he looked at you so nervously but as if he was yearning for your touch.

“what are you doing?” he asked softly. he knew what you were doing.

his voice was shaky and so was your breathing. you closed the gap between you both and you had never felt this before. your hands moved for themselves. craving his touch. he kissed you so gently. trailing over your face and neck. your hands in his hair while his hands explored every inch of you. he made his way down to your body slowly, savoring every last kiss down your neck.

“y/n!” rotxo exclaimed. you and neteyam quickly disentangled. FUCK.

“oh my eywa! i am telling tonowari!” he yelled before swimming away. you held your head in your hands and screamed. you shouldn’t have indulged in this wasnt wise this was stupid. you were stupid. neteyam stared blankingly.

“y/n calm down” he grabbed your arms. you struggled out of his grasp.

“no no no, i am better than this they expect better from me” you began to cry and feel embarrassed by what rotxo had seen.

“y/n please” he held your face in his hands and looked into your eyes.

“we will be okay, we have to work this out together, see it through” he said reassuringly. you nodded and called your ilu.

you swam back to the village to find anoung dragging you away from neteyam. rotxo grabbing him but neteyam swatted him away and walked closely behind you. inside was jake, neytiri, tonowari and ronal. you both stood in front of them.

tonwari looked upset. he would be fuming with smoke coming out of his ears if possible. you raised your head to speak but were cut off quickly.

“YOU WILL NOT SPEAK YOU WILL LISTEN!” he screamed. you flinched a little.

you lowered your head and studied the ground.

“please sir-“ neteyam started but was silenced by jake.

“not a word from you boy” he was stern, sharing tonowaris anger.

“have you lost your mind y/n! i trust you with my children and all this time you have been this way! immature, bringing shame to our family. my brother deserved better! you are lucky we have provided for you!” he yelled. his words were knives. you nodded and tears slid down your face. ronal held tonowari back from saying anything more.

“sir y/n deserves better! she deserves to be loved as we all do!” neteyam exclaimed. jake and neytiri grabbed his arm to shush him.

“no. this is wrong. she is a strong woman, she takes care of others before herself. why dont you see her? she is worth much more than your words” neteyam continued his breathing growing heavy.

“she is not evil for seeking the love she deserves. the love i can give her” he says looking over to you.

“thats enough neteyam!” jake drags him away by his arm and you are left to face tonowaris wrath.

“is it true? have you mated?” he asks sternly.

“yes it is true, i see neteyam. he is the one uncle. we have not mated before eywa” you look down.

“i knew this day would come. i realize i have been hard on you. my brother was dear to me and i have pushed you too hard” he pulled you in for a hug and held your head.

“you are growing to be a wonderful woman y/n. your father would be very proud of you and what you have with neteyam” he smiled softly.

“i am proud” he said. you cried in his arms. tears of joy and pain all coming down your face.

“go now, pray to eywa that jake sully spares your neteyam” he chuckles.

you run to the sullys tent and make your way inside to see kiri. tuk is asleep next to her.

“kiri where is neteyam?” you ask quietly.

she gestures to the other room. you walk into the room quietly to see neteyam with his head in his hands. the room is a mess. things are scattered everywhere.

“nete” you say softly and his head turns to look at you. he gets up and embraces you with a hug. he scans your face and buries his face in your neck.

“im sorry, im sorry” he repeats. you grab his face gently and touch his hair.

“its okay neteyam” you smile a little and continue to run your thumb over his cheek. your foreheads touch and you take in the moment.

“we can be together. tonowari gave his blessing” you smiled harder. his eyes lit up and he picked you up a little to spin you around. you giggled as he put you down.

“your parents though..” you questioned.

“they love you y/n. they were just upset i risked our place here. they’ll see you as i do. you’re my woman” he got excited at the last part and stared into your eyes. he had found a home in them. with you he would build something new. he was dreaming of all of the possibilities.

new love, new dreams.

[stellayla]

Alhaitham x gn!maid!reader x Kaveh (slow burn? ig)

this is longer than expected but the ideas kept flowing out. i only ended up finishing this because my airpods died while i was at school. i apologize if grammar and capitalization is inconsistent, i wrote this in a span of like three-ish weeks

• Alhaitham was tired of Kaveh complaining and not getting his work done in order to pay rent

• So he hired a cleaning service which just so happens to be you!

• And he offered more money than usual customers so who were you to decline, especially with him as the acting grand sage.

• Your first day on the job wasn’t so bad other than upon entering the shared home, you were met with a tall blond man claiming you were a burglar or, after seeing your uniform, thought you were a stripper.

• After introducing yourself as a CLEANING maid that Alhaitham hired, Kaveh relaxed slightly but then grumbled about the gray haired man not taking responsibility in his simple chores.

• Speak of the devil and he shall appear, said man greeted you and told you of your tasks. After some arguing between the roommates, you were finally set with your chores and started to work.

• Kaveh watched you for a bit while still trying to do some work just to make sure you were doing things correctly and not stealing anything. When you were done organizing a shelf and moving to the other side of the room, he interrupted your humming, “you don’t need to do this, you know? you can run away from him and i can make an excuse for you.”

• You replied, “i appreciate the offer Mr. Kaveh, but i do this job because i like it! no matter who or what im helping, i thoroughly enjoy it! and if i may say, sir, you don’t need to worry so much. i’ll clean until everything is in its right place and spotless! and if there is anything you’d request of me cleaning wise, i’ll do it.”

• Alhaitham heard this and walked in saying, “They’re right, i hired them because they’re one of the best of the best. So go relax a bit and finish your work so you can pay your rent on time.”

• After you were all finished, the cleaning lasting about five hours, you were packing everything up, getting ready to head out. Until the buff gray haired man came out of his study and looked around, his face didn’t show much, but something inside you told you he was impressed.

• “You did a good job. I’d like for you to come by every week, if that’s alright for you.” You agreed and took your paycheck. You didn’t have much other clients so the hours you agreed to do and the pay was exceptional.

• When you came back the next week, kaveh greeted you saying how he was finally able to get more work done than usual and how well you did, thanking you profusely for your work.

• The next few weeks you came to clean the bachelor pad were quiet, rather than the occasional arguing between the roommates but it soon became white noise from you hearing it so much. and plus, after you started working more, the rarer the arguments would be.

• Another change was your chores. now you were sent to grab produce, books, and documents since you didn’t have to clean as much now. and rather than working just once a week, it was multiple days. you hadn’t minded though, you were happy to help the busy men.

• Speaking of said men, they realized how much work they were putting you through and eventually sat you down for a proposal…

• No not a marriage proposal, a business proposal. though you were basically acting as a housewife for these men

• They asked if you’d like to like to work as their personal assistant or go back to cleaning their home once a week.

• Over the past month or two of working for them you honestly started to view them as friends and what type of person would say no to helping their friends?

• So you take up the offer! you stay with them nearly every day, rarely ever going back to your own apartment. which sucked because, rent, but you were getting paid by ur friends well enough.

• But after staying with them for so long you realized how little they eat or sleep so you would always make them meals.

• The first time they woke up to see you in the kitchen making breakfast (it was noon) is when they both started falling for you.

• there was multiple occasions where you crashed on one of their couches. this made them realize they were over working you a bunch and designated specific days you would help either of them.

• One night it was very early in the morning and Kaveh asked you for help on something earlier in the night. You were down to help and was able to get some work done with the best of your ability. However, you didn’t realize how long it’d take and your eyelids started getting heavy you tried to fight it but you noticed Kaveh was too immersed in his work so he won’t notice if you rested your head and surrendered from the fight with your eyelids. The blond man heard your pencil drop from your grasp and your light snores and moved his gaze to you. It softened when it hit your sleeping figure. Kavehs heartstrings pulled at this and sighed. He got up and grabbed a blanket for you and silently told himself he’ll do a little more work until he’ll go to sleep himself. He might even wait for you to get into a deeper sleep to carry you to sleep in his bed in a more comfortable position. But for now, he’ll do his work and steal glances at you, smiling softly and getting distracted by doodling a picture of you in his sketchbook. He made sure to hide it before going to sleep.

• As always, you woke up before both of the men and decided to make breakfast. That was until you saw the scarce groceries they had, so then you were about to leave for the market. “Oh, are you heading out?” said Alhaitham. You responded, “Just going to get you guys some groceries and make you guys breakfast. Do you need me to do anything, sir?” He sighed and said, “I know I’m your employer but we’re friends now, you don’t need to call me sir, Y/n.” You nodded as he continued, “I have to do some of my own errands, though. Would you mind if I accompanied you?” Thus started your date errand running with Alhaitham. You had grabbed the groceries and a few other things for the household with the help of the gray haired man. It didn’t take very long, an hour at least. But you made your way back to the house, carrying bags with Alhaitham and ready to start breakfast. When in front of the stove, that’s when you realized the sage hadn’t done any of his own errands, he only had helped you. You brought this up with him and he said it could wait for another time. In truth, he hadn’t needed to do anything at that moment. He just wanted to spend time with you and help you, he had gotten a warm feeling in his chest when he imagined doing domestic things, such as shopping and cooking, with you.

• They hadn’t realized how much they actually depended on you until you requested a month off to take care of your sick old neighbor. When you came back Kaveh embraced you saying how much he had missed you and he’ll never take you for granted. You said you missed the both of them and apologized for not being able to help for a while. “That’s nonsense, Y/n. You were doing what you do best.” said Alhaitham. “Thank you, Alhaitham.” You said as you hugged him. “How about we go to a restaurant? To celebrate your coming back.” Suggested Kaveh. “As long as your paying.” Alhaitham said as he grabbed your hand to lead you out the door.

• You all walked to Lambad’s Tavern and the boys kaveh were arguing over who would sit next to you. You sat yourself down first and the blonde ran to sit next to you in the booth, lying his arm on the chair behind you and talking about nonsense. Alhaitham, who sat across from you, was a little bummed but reached for your extended hand that was lying on the table, causing you to stutter in your sentence and pink to slightly dust your cheeks. This didnt got unnoticed by Kaveh as he fumed silently, but calmed down as an idea popped in his head. His hand that was behind you snaked down to your waist and his other hand on your knee, his fingers drawing little shapes.

•Your cheeks were very red and hot and you wondered to yourself, ‘how did I get myself in this situation where two very hot men are basically fighting over me?’.

• “Uhm, you guys…” you say.

• Alhaitham was the first to say it out right, “Y/n, I really enjoy the time we spend together. I may not show it much but, I like you.”

• Kaveh was taken aback, “WHAT?!? No, no, no. Y/n, I like you, a lot, in fact. He doesn’t deserve you.”

• As they bickered back and forth, you were conflicted and flattered. You had liked both of the men for a while now, but could you really choose one? No, that’d hurt the other far too much.

• “Alhaitham. Kaveh.” you called their names to get their attention. “I am flattered as much as I’m conflicted. I, too, should confess that I like you too. Both of you, equally. But I can’t just choose between you two. That would hurt me too much. I’m sorry.” You get up to start to leave but a hand softly grabs yours. You look back to see the gray haired man who had held your hand before. “Y/n, please. Stay. There’s no need to be sorry.”

• “Like us, you can’t control your feelings.” says the blonde as he hugs you. Alhaitham continues to hold your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles in a calming way as he says, “I should propose that you don’t choose.” both you and kaveh are confused, “Alhaitham what are you trying to say?” you ask. The sage continues, “Be selfish, for once in your life, Y/n. You do so much for others, and rarely think about yourself. Do yourself a favor, my love.” Kaveh made a face of realization, “Oh, I understand now!” as he clutched your other hand. “Darling, what do you say? Be selfish and choose us both.”

• Once again you blushed furiously. Choose them both? Was that possible? What would others think? Your mind was racing but could only spill out one thing, “Are you sure you two can share?” Kaveh looked offended and Alhaitham chuckled, “Anything for you, my love.” Kaveh agreed, “yeah, yeah what he said, I guess.”

• “Then, of course. It won’t hurt to be a little selfish.”

(at some point when writing this i imagined kaveh as prince gumball and alhaitham as marshall lee and it fits way too well.)

[gunnrblze]

I’m miss strike and hesh content 😫😫

I swear y’all read my mind sometimes wtf😵‍💫hehe im literally writing hc’s for them right now. Here are some random ones ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

-Strike is grade A in love with Hesh, and Hesh tries his best (is also a dumb lovestruck idiot but struggles to admit it)

-They aren’t technically together (at least not until I make them be LMFAO), but they flirt and toe the line of admitting the obvious feelings very frequently

-Strike loves to annoy Hesh in very minor ways just for attention (literally like a cat that knocks something off a shelf just so you’ll look in it’s direction💀), and it works everytime

-Most people call him Strike, but Hesh usually calls him by his first name, Marshall. Logan called him out once for “trying to be different” and Hesh got all (¬､¬) over it. It just feels more personal to him (cus he wants to be more personal with him omg they’re so stupid and obvious)

-Strike actually loves it, but pretends to be indifferent, because it indeed feels more personal. In his head he feels like boyfriend material lol. Sometimes calls him David just to see the side eye he gets

-Strike makes Hesh blush very frequently, cause that man is just a blushing mess anyways I’m afraid, but Strike thinks it’s so cute that he tries to do it as much as possible

-They get very much into card games with one another when they have free time on base/wherever. Strike is competitive to a stupid degree (such as going to any lengths to win a card game) but Hesh usually lets him win half the time anyways (if not bc of the kiss Strike gave him on the top of his head once after beating him…dummy wants another)

-The other Ghosts know they obviously have feelings for one another, but everybody’s just kinda like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ until they admit something

-Part of Hesh’s reluctance is because Strike is 7 yrs older than him, and despite how many times Logan’s reminded him that he’s a grown, almost 30 yr old man, Hesh uses it as an excuse as to why “it would never work” smh. The convos go something like this;

Hesh: “I mean…he’s older, almost by a decade”

Logan: “…”

Hesh: “I couldn’t date someone that old even I wanted too, right? That’s like, a really big age gap…he’s 35”

Logan: “…”

Hesh: “That’s 7 years, Lo-“

Logan: “You’re a grown man”

Hesh: “…”

-Keegan is oddly enough a wingman for Hesh in a way when it comes to this. Has had subtle convos with him about Strike, trying to nudge him a little to do something about it (the team is tired of their bs)

-Strike writes poetry about him (smh the yearning is crazy), and one time Hesh accidentally read part of it before realizing what it was. He couldn’t look him in the eye for days lol

+ a piccrew of Strike (guess whose hand it is…totally don’t know…who he could be looking at)

Also I may or may not be cooking up another OC… muah ha ha

[confessions-sm]

Ok... AITA (24M) for Temporarily banning these kids out of my Store? theyre Just kids but they keep Messing With the store AND Me !!!!! It couldve Been one of my nightmares, but they Brought this huge Nightmare creature to the store, Then they brought me .."Sugar", Then they brought me this creepy Possessed doll, AND THEN THEY BROUGHT A SERIAL KILLER TO THE SHOP!!!!!!!!

AND JUST A WEEK AGO, THEY PUT A HUGE HOLE INTO A WALL!!!! AND I GOT POSSESSED!!!!!!!

Look. its Just temporary, and the only reason i Established it was because Today they brought down one of the Shelves and it took HOURS to Screw it back in. my Friend helped me, but STILL !!!!!!!

A shelf is not THAT big of a deal.. but, Ugh. im just So tired, and i Need a small break from them !!!!!! They constantly bring me Trouble, even if its Unintentional. ill Probably lift it in a few Days.. I really Dont like seeing them upset, Or yknow, any Kid for that matter.

but.. Am i in the Wrong for this ? :(

What's ur opinion guys

I giggled sm at this

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

can we perhaps get some more alejandro/graves hcs 👉👈

assortment of questionable alegraves hcs coming right up. im here to serve

- graves is the “suddenly I am on my knees” gay and alejandro is “this man is handsome and beautiful and pretty from a male point of view no homo tho” bi (inspiration taken directly from my father god bless his stupid soul). he doesn’t know how to flirt with guys it’s just his natural charm concealing that internally he’s a mess and he’s just bullshitting his way through.

- graves is a light sleeper most of the time, but if he’s very tired and comfortable a bomb could go off and he’d still be unbothered. and he can’t fucking stay still. he’s all over the bed. so most of the time alejandro has to like. position himself around him somehow and pray he won’t end up on the floor.

he’s essentially this tweet

- alejandro is a human heater and graves is always cold so he kind of unconsciously scooches closer in his sleep and alejandro is forced to move further and further away. that, or he hoards the blankets.

- graves can’t reach the top shelf so instead of helping him get whatever it is he needs alejandro just picks him up to assert dominance

- graves is the guy that’s like “im uh 5’11” and alejandro appears out of nowhere just to say “he’s 5’8” and evaporate before he gets kicked in the shins

- controversial but alejandro is the 14 in 1 guy and graves has a 12 step skin care routine cuz he refuses to age.

- at this point everyone is convinced that alejandro is incapable of catching feelings for someone unless there’s mutually attempted murder involved. he has a type you see

- bully me all you want but im putting this out there: valeria and graves would become besties. if not because of the “kys” – “I love you too hoe <3” type of friendship, then for the sole purpose of making fun of alejandro. at the beginning at least. alejandro barely handles them separately, but together? and rudy does join in occasionally. it’s a nightmare.

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

@tired-and-unslimed on cleaning

take everything i say with a grain of salt and adapt to your own limits

note: start with the places you spend the most time in. for me this is my room, so im gonna focus on that

general stuff i do to get started on the process + keeping momentum, vacuuming and dusting edition: - turn off pc/laptop. hide it somewhere you wont see, if you have a stationary, hide the keyboard - get the vacuum. just get it in the room, plug it in, have it ready to be used but not needed immediately and have it be somewhere you can see - doesn't matter if you're not orderly about it, lift shit from the floor, put everything you have laying around on some sort of elevation. open the window if you can, at least a door for air circulation, all in prep. for the vacuum (this is also a moment to put away what you can like clothes you may have lying around etc. if you need to leave the room at this point, don't leave without a reminder of your process on yourself, you can even write on your skin if it keeps you from going off to do something else) - you have your vacuum with you in the room already from the beginning, and, ideally, the floor is empty (or mostly empty at least). it's fine if it's not, keep the ball rolling the details will sort themselves out - the vacuuming itself. do the floor of the room first, but i also use it everywhere else i can (like empty shelves or parts of my desk) - if vacuuming takes so long your lower back starts to hurt, sit the fuck down. dont let the pain evolve, have a breather. (take as many breathers as you need to keep going but Keep Going)

- get a dusting cloth/whatever you use for collecting dust. have it on hand - my cleaning bursts are random but they generally start with just lifting random things i have on my shelves and dusting them. lift one thing, clean it, put it on the ground/somewhere you can't ignore or forget, repeat until you have an empty shelf/surface - you are now faced with an empty surface and, ideally, you already have the dusting cloth/whatever in your hand from cleaning the smaller things. use the opportunity to clean the surface itself (at this point, before putting stuff back, you can also wash the surface itself. not necessary, just dusting it will do) - repeat the last 2 parts until all surfaces have been emptied and cleaned or until you feel like you can't - mentioning it just in case, but keep the air circulating by virtue of that open window/door or the dust will settle back just as you lift it and your progress will effectively reset

things i couldnt fit anywhere above: - the hardest step is the beginning yes. start small but Start. if small is just a few objects, do it. if small is just one corner, do it. if small feels too big, even minuscule will do, but Start. - i get distracted very easily. i have a playlist that Only gets played when i clean. i have reminders every 20 minutes and they annoy me very much but they remind me to not fuck around somewhere else. dont beat yourself over getting distracted, just get back to it - focus on small parts at once. we dont care if there's still That Much Left, what matters is just Doing The Next Thing. it gets easier the more you do it - Take The Fucking Breaks. dont be me and wait until your back is killing you. sit down sip some liquid crack them knuckles whatever whenever you can feel pain starting to bloom somewhere and wait until it subsides. continuing the task is important yes but not if continuing it actively hinders your ability to do it - if you dont know Where to start, write out all possible options, assign them numbers, and get a random numbers generator to chose for you