#im so tired this week needs to end now
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I've already taken 4 exams and made 2 presentations this week alone. And it's still Wednesday. 2 more to go (both exams tomorrow) 😮💨😵💫
(me sitting on the ground at the library because the table wouldn't stay still + my friend and i begging for help because none of us can take it no more please save us)
#im so tired this week needs to end now#im literally going from one exam to another and it's so exhausting#studyblr#studyspo#academia#university#light academia#study inspiration#study motivation#science#dark academia#chaotic academia#college#study hard#mine
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
sketch
closeups on my favorite panels
bonus: adios
#doodles#kingdom hearts#roxas#axel#olette#aromantic#asexual#aroace#do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel#ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you#also not tagging soriku and namixi#i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so#anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette#i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette#so let me clarify about this comic#im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before#im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts#thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes#im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while#anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive#sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow#this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled#drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024#btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately#schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time#i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times#alright i think thats it bye now
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"You saved me so I can kill you", "my wretch of a wife", and "30 seconds" all happened in this series, yet y'all cry divorce on the ranchers.
#and i dont mean this in a 'theyre secretly cuddling between sessions uwu' way#i mean all their interactions have been at most silly at least completely neutral#yall act like theyre bitterly trying to murder each other in every scene theyve been in together#like the one time they ever dealt damage to the other wasnt immediately followed by an apology#the fh people are still out here even after the entirety of dl and 24l so far and yall are here acting like ranchers is made of sugar glass#team rancher#if you like angst thats fine but theres so many post crying that its all over#or acting like its a struggle#you dont need copium when they havent even done anything#sorry but every other duo gets a dramatic devastating moment to point to for why theyre divorced#and the worst ranchers get is 'if we ever 1v1 i could totally beat you anyways running away now' for people to act just as devastated#sorry im super salty this week#and just tired of rancher tags being walls of 'the world is ending and theres no recovery'
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Fandom: One Piece
Words: 530
Relationships: Jean Bart & Hakugan
Characters: Jean Bart, Hakugan
Summary:
“I’m not suited for it,” Jean Bart replies, instead. “It hasn’t been a month since I stepped aboard, it’s not wise to trust me with the lives of the crew.”
Heart Pirates Week - Day 1 ღ Jean Bart ღ Cursed
Am I ridiculously late to this event? Yes, I am. Am I posting this anyways? Yes, I am!! I’ve got drafts for all nine days, but lately life has been bonking me with a window frame and then pouring boiling paint on my head, before rinsing and repeating, so who knows when/if I’ll finish anything else
#heart pirates#heart pirates week#heart pirates week 2024#one piece#my writing#Past couple weeks: *rent contract ends and I have to leave* *have to move apartments* *break my back carrying the furniture* *have 1000 dif#*have to work extra hours at work* *get invited/accepted to zines and go ‘oh shit i need to work on that or i’ll have literally no time’*#*grandma suddenly started beef with my uncle (FOR NO REASON) and now there is unnecessary Drama added to the family*#*then my little cousin went to grandma’s house solely to have sex w his gf in there. once again adding to the Drama (for no reason)*#also my cat hasn’t let me sleep more than 2 continuous hrs bc the new place scares her and im tired. im so so so tired.#insert a meme of a sobbing cat. no i don't know which one. any will do.
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WHY
DO MY SMPS
INSIST ON FUCKING
NUKING THEMSELVES
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAINNNNN
#quackity plz i just want my kids#i dont care about purgatory im not coming back until then ill just leave the quackity studios notifs on and just move on with my life#im so tired. it had been a month and a half. then these two weeks. and now there is no timeframe at all. i cant do it anymore.#but lmao what a fantastic dramatic ending tho guys well done#and just like tubbo - i have no self control and i will be back tomorrow. lmao#i just need to cry for a bit first :)#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#dont let tubbo touch your smps because they will spontaneously combust in nuclear flames#IT WASNT FIREFLIES RIGHT RICHAS#ok imma sleep now
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hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead
#wish i had my support network but what with all my friends being so busy#with school work engagements marriage pregnancies housing issues#and my priests both up to their ears in work and all my older sister figures#having issues and more important things to deal with and my family being one of the sources of high stress#i dont have anyone to talk to or go to at the moment#so i need to figure that out before i have another health crisis because my body's starting to give up on me#(again)#on top of that there needs to be planning in place for the summer and next fall and graduation#i just want to stick my head in the ground like an ostrich and stay there!!!! instead of wading through this mess during midterm season#and having to start finals the WEEK after midterms end#complaining again sorry#i am so tired and trying to be cheerful/distracting myself only lasts a few hours#im trying. i promise im trying. but the world seems rather bleak right now#and it is very hard not to feel so very alone#anyway i love you all and i'll see you soon
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hnnnggggg
#i wish there was an end to figuring out how to be a person and a friend and a leader#and i wish there was a point where i could stop circling back and unearthing layer 47 of the lies i have believed about myself and the world#im ok really just on month 8 of being in situations where i am wrestling with my personality and strengths and weaknesses#and trying to figure out how to love well in the world as myself and not reject the person God made me#and yet also not fail to see where and how i can grow because i think i cant change#and just now im seeing some ways ive failed to do all that well in the last few weeks and im disappointed in myself and im exhausted#and i know i need to once more pull it togwther and seek growth and change#but all i want is to just exist with someone without having to stare in the face all the ways i need to grow#im just so tired.
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#two mimir#tandemaus#pokemon#pokemon sv#pokemon gen 9#sorry bintendo i pirated this game but i wouldve bought it if i knew it was such a good game at the end#that ending was actually so good id put it as my favourite pokemon game#and the music holy fuck my ears were blessed#okok next time I will buy the new game#shit made me crave sandwiches so bad then i made my own bread and got sick of sandwiches after 2 weeks#now im getting tired of caesar salad#i need more recipes for work#i promised myself i would never buy another drink at gongchass after they fired me but then they released some cute ass 3d keychains#I'll just get my bf to do it#i wanna play the next gow#please let me refund aitsf 2 i dont feel. like playing it but steam wont let me#idk why I'm too lazy to play it even tho the games expensive ash#need more multiplayerr games to play with friends#terraria got boring after 2 days#zomboid is good#plate up got boring after a week#where is my motivation to play apex#raft is dead#devour need more maps#no im not going to play LOL or AOE#i wish i celebrated christmas#if I could experience something again it would b my childhood xmas spirit and mythical-y energy#i feel like ill always be mentally stuck at 17#how bout i physically go back to 17 too i dont want to start paying my fuel#shit goes down so fast
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Ya know what inktober or cringetober, what have you, I'll be drawing all these Isaac au shitpost nonsense baby. I FEEL ALIVE. WITNESS MY CRINGE OR LOOK AWAY IN DISGUST. IM LIVING! WRAAGGHHH
#i have not been able to draw this much in years dude#i went thru a whole sketchbook in just two weeks its freaking epic#my brain juices my hand juices theyre coming to life#too bad my fmla will end in november. god i wish i was paid to draw nonsense like this#and trust me you do not need to know or play isaac to know what the heck is going on#im the master of not knowing whats going on and the master of catfishing. i dont know anything and you shouldnt either#its all about wink wink nudge nudge but i take full creative liberties. im taking the reins and going into maximum overdrive#and i hope my new followers enjoy what im spitting. please take a gander at the other things i draw because i have bursts of hyperfixations#i just want to be free to draw what i want ya know. i always feel held back because it doesnt go toward with improvement or making money#but i really think i am improving right now by drawing all this stuff my brain is spitting. my hand tryna keep up with my thought patterns#its nice. and my hand isnt cramping. why? cause i keep taking breaks. me taking breaks yet still drawing this much#youll know you improve if can get thoughts and sketches down fast and comprehensible when you go to clean it up#im rambling but i jsut want you to know that i am happy. even if no one really pays attention to what ive beeb doing. be it this or my ocs#im having fun. genuine fun. i am so tired so goodnight. i lov e you guys
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it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat
#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom#2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places#and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again#like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up#not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day!#i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation?#like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary#like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??)#but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks#and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it?#i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep#before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything#and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’#but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend#i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it#but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this#i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man#ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything#i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for#not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for#and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween#i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art#+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here)#it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this
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played 8 consecutive hours of elden ring this afternoon/evening and forgot to eat dinner.... 🫠
#oops#well i still have bad cramps and bloating so maybe its for the best. im too tired to eat now#i feel soooo terrible. i dont think its from the gaming tho i was playing to distract myself from feeling terrible in the first place#but no such luck. well its better than spending all day ruminating anyway#i need to do laundry and food shop tomorrow and ill take the day off ER entirely otherwise ill end up playing another 8 hrs 💀#i got my meds today too but im not gonna start them until my period fucking starts and ends bc i cant handle both at once#plus itll be good if i can start them later this week so if it fucks my sleep at least i wont have to go into work multiple days in a row#while exhausted etc. mannn.#i really really hope i sleep better tonight this whole last week its been so disturbed and im so tired :-(#and so saaaaaad. and lonely but not really in a way that being around ppl helps.. i just want a longass hug 💔#ive done so well this week mentally but it takes so much out of me staying on top of it#anyway.. to bed to bed to bed#.diaries
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I have college assignmrnts to do for tonig💥
#I DIDNT GET A LOT OF SLEEP BC I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP FOR MOST OF MY SUMME R BREAK AND STILL NOW OFF OF BREAK#AND ON TOP OF THAY I WOKE UP EARLYISH BC THERE WAS CRAZY THUNDER AWHAHDBVDBBS#today's challenge: Survive#i landed the president's list for last semester again i wonder if I'm just burned out an need more of a break than just. a week </3#bc my abilities 2 focus on work and get started on all my studies asap asap like usual has not been. happening anymore#for a few weeks Before the end of the semester too (esp since a lot of irl obstacles tripped me up BAD the last month of last semester agh)#so um#girl help lol!#the ADHD has been ADHDing bAD SO BAD lately and it's only the first week aaaaa a a a aaaaaaaa#(and yes im on meds i just keep focusing on the wrong thingms on them rn. + bad skin picking bc sadly my meds always make that Worse aieee)#dodes it sound like im tired. my mom says i must just be tired. um. mmaybe.#i think right now specifically i certainlly am tired but lbr that's largely bc of Situation (horrible at goign tf to bed all the time alwa#a#so crazy bro i suddenly become like a top student (straight As for days and i fr feel like im REALLY GOOD AT stddying what im studying)#and th4n suddenly boom . category 5 consistent executive dysfunctions event (triggered by so so many big assignmennst last term)#..ok when i phrase it as category 5 consisten dt executive dysfunctions event THAT DOES SOUND LIKE. WHAT BURNOUT PROBABLY IS oh no!#girl HELP haha hel p
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Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating
I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.
Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.
#speculation nation#'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain#frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches#(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week)#then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up.#and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So#in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those.#what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells#i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong.#but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden#i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches#all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick.#im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out.#havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling#and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now#idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it.#i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live.#im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired.#give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭#i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I really shouldn’t have made my current (and general second) run of BG3 as a tempest cleric/storm sorcerer combo, because it's so damn fun that now I won’t want to play as anything else 😂🙈
#personal#Raksh's gaming adventures#baldur's gate 3#I wanted to do a lightning focused build for my Sasuke-inspired mc#and now Im having so much fun I dont really wanna play as anything else xD#I have an idea for a durge character when I will maybe be able to get to it#an Eris inspired one for a chaotic playthrough and maybe even evil endings ^^#and she's a goddess of chaos so -- perfect ^^#a drow sorcerer would prob be *chefs kiss* on her#and it'll prob be a Very similar build to my current one but maybe I'll manage to do some small changes#like maybe just a multiclass into a wizard instead of cleric#or a different type of cleric hmm#I mean I saw in universe Talos is the god of chaos so that'd fit!#(Nd I can whisper to myself *by Talos not again* while I make the exact same character)#my current drow is lolth sworn and Im kinda regreting I couldnt go with Talos so I might do that small change#we'll see#I might as well get tired around act 3 again and leave the game for some time before coming back to it#I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened again xD#anyway it's a bit too hot today to game#but then again Im obsessed and in a couple weeks will need to focus on studying so#might as well use the time now xD
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Lol
#now i KNOW im burned out like im usually pretty on top of schoolwork ive always been on top of things#or mostly anyhow. i do go to pieces a bit during exam or midterm season but it always works out in the end#first time ive missed assignments without realising i had any to do at all last week 😂😂😂 this is so sad#the cherry on top of that mud pie is that i cant even muster the strength to be panicked or upset#i'm just tired!#anyway i know what i need to do to catch up im just surprised at the level of exhaustion i feel just thinking about studying again
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.
#I have spent. 8 almost 9 hours resetting my laptop. I chose the option to keep all my files but uninstall apps. and it has been restarting#and installing for almost 9 hours. yeah I get that the process will be long. but ffs#I have been bored the past few hours so I watched the smile movie bc I got reminded of it yesterday#it was pretty bad. the couple gorey scenes towards the end were nice but some of the acting and writing was just terrible#I was also hoping the movie would’ve taken a different turn. I think it would’ve made it more.. idk. I can’t think of the right term.-#-it just would’ve made it better I think.#I’ve also eaten a lot today. more than I usually do. more than I have in months and years and im upset about that. im already bloated.#I hope I don’t work tomorrow. I have to call in in the morning to check. and I don’t mind working but rn I just kind of want to spend the#day relaxing#I’ve spent almost 9 hours on this resetting part. and 4 extra hours trying to simply repair it in restarts#I also need to clean up my room. a lot of it. and clean my pets cage. it’s ant season now and im really stressed about that#the smell of sharpie returns and I am just. overwhelmed. I have 3 days to prepare for my special week long activity and im not happy about-#-that.#I also had some feelings earlier that im stressed over too.#im being vague about that bc i just don’t want to go off about that to everyone#im tired and overwhelmed i just want my laptop to finish resetting so i can stop fretting about this. i want to sleep#im tired. of so much#to delete later
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